#but tbh I felt so so SO much worse after the first dream

[strawberrystepmom]

pairing: Kenjaku x F!Reader, past Geto Suguru x F!Reader

word count: 3.6k

about: you become kenjaku's captive to ensure that he will not miss his opportunity to fight the strongest after his return from the prison realm. the temptation of being this close to the last remaining earthly fragment of the man you once loved, suguru, proves too much to resist and you give into your desires despite the hole they're bound to leave.

contents: NSFW - MINORS DNI. DARK CONTENT WARNING, MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FOR CH 236 AND BEYOND | dubcon, manipulation, violence against reader, asphyxiation, kidnapping | reader is a sorcerer and went to school with geto and they had mutual feelings for one another, mentions of religion and references to god, kenjaku retained some of geto's memories and knows reader through them, reader has breasts and descriptions of vaginal anatomy are given, rough piv sex with little prep, reader is referred to as "girl", major character death (off screen).

notes: i've uh....been going through some things lately LMAO tbh i started this awhile back before thanksgiving but have felt weird about posting it and it very nearly stayed in the "between me and god" folder so i held back but today i said fuck it. if you read, thanks and i hope you enjoy!!!

header art is by jenny holzer and divider is by @/cafekitsune ♡

“The old occupant of this vessel was very fond of you, you know?”

How dare Kenjaku mention Suguru so casually, as if he were a tenant to his own flesh and bone instead of its rightful owner? 

“You know nothing about him,” The words are full of venom, flying from your mouth not unlike the way you spat at the curse user’s face two days prior to now. He chuckled when the fluid hit his cheek, wiping it off without a second thought. “Or me.” 

You felt so guilty for spitting at his face, the face of a man you once believed that you loved, that you wept until you began to dry heave atop the futon mattress in the room that has been designated as yours. It’s the same bed you rest on now, duvet over your knees that are hiked to your chest. It’s a means to protect yourself from any vulnerability but it’s truly no use. If Kenjaku wants to harm you, he will.

He has insisted your accommodations be comfortable since arriving three days ago given you are collateral and not a captive, his own clever wording for the situation, but you’re more than aware that if you were to attempt to escape from the cage that you’d hit the window just as all birds hungry for a taste of freedom do. There are no cuffs, chains, or bars but your freedom is no longer yours. It is a prize to be won pending the defeat of the man standing across from you in the doorway, shoji door open beside him, flowing hair as dark as the midnight sky brushing the backs of his elbows.

For years you wondered what you’d do if faced with Suguru again. Would you strike him, insisting he deserved it for all the hurt left in his wake? Ask him why in a scream so powerful your shoulders would shake with the weight of your fury? Perhaps you’d forgive him, as you’d been taught and encouraged to do your entire life, and those mumbled prayers cast to the God you believe in above you would be true for the first time since they’ve left your treacherous lips. 

“I forgive him, I hope you can, too.” You have begged God aloud and silently since sixteen years old. You have always been devout in your faith despite abandoning most of the tenets that make someone a believer, your lack of devotion not enough to deter you from selfishly asking for absolution for a man who you know deserves none.

God’s answer is clear when faced with the fact that this is not Geto standing in front of you. There is no less mercy a person can be shown than their body being used as a sick prop after their death.

The space where his thoughts and dreams and hopes used to lie is occupied by something far worse than just visions of a world purified through means of violence, a place where people like you could live without the threat of death and sacrifice to keep others safe. Granted, that wasn’t exactly a noble purpose either, but at least it didn’t threaten your life the way that whatever lives inside of his skull does now.

“I know more about both of you than you think.” 

Kenjaku’s words drip with smugness and your stomach flips. The natural responses of your body to a man who looks and sounds just like Suguru make you sick but you cannot focus on fighting them off and keeping yourself protected at the same time, you have to simply make peace with the butterflies in your stomach that feels like something is punching you in the gut over and over again. He dares enter the room and you scoot further up the futon, hitting the wall behind you and leveling a glare in his direction.

Suguru’s body reacts to you, as well, something that Kenjaku planned long ago to use to his advantage. It started with hazy dreams, a face he recognized as yours drifting through them, your thighs and your lips and your skirt. It’s a version of you a little younger, a little warmer - less edgy than you are now. You are sharp and finely tuned to harm while the version of you that lived in Geto’s mind will forever stay soft, a freshly unfurled rose.

“All you’ve done is vandalize him,” you accuse and he shrugs, dressed in a cotton yukata rather than the robes he stole in addition to the body they dressed. It’s easy to imagine another life where this is Suguru and you are you and he’s coming to your shared bedside, kneeling on the ground the same way Kenjaku is now while he invites himself to the only space you currently have as your own.

“You’re a smart girl, don’t play dumb.” Your glance moves from the doorway to him, disgusted by how brave he is getting this close to you. “Perhaps I’m simply using the power this body holds in the way he was too cowardly to attempt.”

Despite your current state of sitting in nothing but a yukata yourself, you are physically strong from spending the last decade of your life as nothing more than a glorified weapon to use in the fight against evil. Even if your Cursed Technique would be unlikely to have any effect on the man, you could be a difficult problem for him if you wanted to be, yet you sit and do nothing but wait and refuse to respond to his words. He chuckles at your stubbornness and reaches across the bed and your body to grab your chin between his thumb and index finger. He shifts your head until you’re staring directly at him and a smile crosses his lips.

You do not fight him off.

“Tell me, sorcerer,” he starts and you swallow, bottom lip quivering. You want to reach out and slap him away, to scream and kick but your body stays still, the only place blood is pooling between your legs and in the heat of your face. “Where are those teeth and claws you were so eager to show me on your first night here?”

He reaches his thumb upward and presses it against your mouth, stopping the shake with a single touch - your body’s natural reaction to a man you are now certain you loved, given it’s the only explanation for your behavior. It’s a form of trust, the muscle memory of a kiss he gave you in your dorm room at the school you once shared. The first night you were spitting and hissing, now you’re so placid.

“Nothing to say for yourself?”

Stubbornly, you shake your head and Kenjaku chuckles again, pulling his thumb away from your lip but maintaining the grip on your chin. You know this is not Suguru, it’s as clear as the stitches across the forehead of the practically empty vessel that further closes in on you. He moves silently until he’s mere inches away from you, his head hovering over your knees that are still pulled against your chest. You watch him with narrowed eyes, tucking against yourself tighter than you ever have as a means of comfort, but it does nothing to stop him from lingering.

“I could just make you speak if I wanted to,” he warns. The power in this situation belongs to him.

“What’s the point of fighting you? You’re going to do whatever you want with me anyway.” You admit, defeated. Whatever fight you had left in you was smothered weeks ago during the attack on Shibuya. Even the release of Gojo is not enough to fill you with hope for the future. It’s pointless to keep fighting when the only outcome is going to be loss.

The shaky sound of your voice makes the curse user move closer to you and you shut your eyes tightly, refusing to look at him lest your body continue with these inexplicable natural responses. Heart pounding against your chest, it’s inexplicably frustrating that it cannot seem to separate what your brain knows is true from what your body wants to believe.

It isn’t him, you scream within the confines of your own mind but it does not prevent your palms from feeling clammy and the squeeze of your inner thighs against each other to provide some relief against the heat in your core.

It isn’t him. It isn’t him. It isn’t him…

Chanting the words internally, you open your eyes and are met with a pair of golden ones staring directly at you. They’re the same that stared at you in a dorm room a decade ago although they’re missing the warmth they had back then, dripping honey sweetness hidden in the irises turned to tar. 

“You’re right, I can.” He nods and dark hair falls over his eyes, catching your eye. Your stomach turns when you spot the stitches across his forehead but your gaze returns to his so quickly you can hardly think about it. “But will it be what I want or is it what this body desires, I wonder?”

This piques your interest and Kenjaku tilts his head to the side inquisitively, dark hair sweeping over your knees and around your body. It feels like a curtain, a veil like the ones you are so used to using to keep people safe and ignorant and outside of your world of sorcery.

“What do you mean?”

A smirk is the response you are granted and he moves closer to you, one of his hands reaching for the duvet you’re using to cover you. Pulling it back gently, your robe covered body coming into view and once again, you make no effort to fight. With this barrier removed, he runs his palm over the outside of your thigh. Muffling your whimper at the touch, you attempt to hide your face in your shoulder but he stops you, still grasping onto your chin and still holding your gaze.

“Interesting.” 

His hand travels from the outside of your thigh to the insides and you gently spread them to allow him access before realizing what he’s searching for. Attempting to cut off his access by closing your legs, he holds your thigh in place and lets his fingers dip lower along the soft skin. You quiver and shake beneath him like a leaf clinging to the branches of a tree in winter, desperate for somewhere to remain, and those fingers inch closer and closer to your core. He stops when he feels the coarse hair covering your mound and dares to dip a single fingertip between your folds, raising his eyebrows when he feels the arousal seeping from you. 

“I knew it,” he whispers so low you wonder if you were even meant to hear it but the way he gazes at you, like that of a man starved, tells you that the words were meant for no one but you.

Your hand shakes as much as the rest of you when you finally lift it from your side, reaching out to him and taking a strand of hair between your fingers. It feels just as you imagined it would, silk between your digits, and a breathy sigh leaves you before you begin to cry. Dropping the small strand, you choose to reach out toward his forehead and use your hand to block the stitches covering it.

“Suguru.”

You babble the name like it is precious, your lip quivering just as it did before, and the evil man shakes his head, capturing your wrist with the hand he just removed from your chin. He lowers your hand enough that you can see the stitches unobscured.

“Kenjaku, actually.” 

He lowers your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles, amused when you squirm where you sit, practically delirious with lust and confusion. You do not want this, at least that’s what you tell yourself while parting your legs further and panting, chest heaving with every breath.

Wordlessly, he uses his free hand to untie your robe and it falls off of your shoulders, exposing you to him fully before he can blink. This is something he remembers seeing in one of those dreams but you look different than whatever the imagination of a man who was infatuated with you was able to come up with during his loneliest hours. It amuses Kenjaku that he is the one to see you like this, bare and willing. 

Tracing down your belly and lower, he stops between your legs which makes you whimper. You’re so desperate to be touched, to pretend he is someone you’ll never have the opportunity to love as properly as you could have if you’d both lived a different life, that your hips actually arch off of the bed eagerly. It should embarrass you but you are past the point of humiliation, willing to be fucked by evil incarnate just for the sake of a taste of Suguru Geto.

“Pathetic little thing,” he coos and you say nothing in return. You’re well aware of your failings as a sorcerer and a human being as his fingers spread your labia to get a glance at what you have to offer. For a moment, you consider praying for Suguru again; to selfishly beg God to make sense of your own actions but you know that he no longer has mercy for an ill behaved member of his flock. You will simply accept the consequences, whatever they will be.

His thumb brushes your clit and you moan, tipping your head back and toward the ceiling. You wait for the sensation of pleasure to climb through you again but it doesn’t come until you look downward again, eyes fluttering open.

“Eyes on me or you get nothing.”

Too afraid to look away lest it keep you from the only good thing you’ve felt in who knows how long, you keep your eyes glued to Kenjaku’s face while his hand works between your legs, spreading the slick from your cunt toward your clit and back down. If you could just shut your eyes, you could pretend, but they’re open and glued between your legs, watching every feathery stroke of his fingers through your folds.

Kenjaku’s cock hardens against your thigh and for a moment you dare to feel powerful knowing you aren’t the only one surrendering to the most base of your needs. He drops your hand and reaches for the tie of his robe, opening it and giving you the only look you’ve ever been lucky enough to get of Suguru’s bare body.

Scarred, honed, a tool - just like yours. If you weren’t so lost in the moment, the lifetimes you have imagined for years would be playing through your mind.

You gasp and knit your brows together, bucking against the increasing pressure of Kenjaku’s fingers while he brings you back to him and out of your head. Whatever you’re thinking about doesn’t matter when he inserts a finger inside of you, only testing how wet you are with no intention of preparing you for his cock. 

When he’s satisfied with how wet you are, he withdraws his finger and you whine. The sound is the most he has heard from you since the first night and it makes his eyes widen in interest. He shifts until he is standing between your spread knees and the realization that this is really happening hits you at once, your face flaming with desire.

“You’re so impatient.” 

The curse user tuts at you with a roll of his eyes and spreads your legs as wide as they can go to accommodate the width of his body. He’s broad in shoulder and hip and you bite your lower lip when he runs the head of his cock through your folds, following the same pattern of his fingers. You expect the teasing to last longer but it stops abruptly. Before you can take a breath to prepare yourself, his cock is buried to the hilt inside of you, and you gasp with wide eyes, shocked. 

“As good as you imagined?”

Words come to your mind but do not form enough to leave your mouth while he thrusts roughly, your body jerking violently against his. It’s painful, the size of him with little prep in conjunction with how he uses your body as nothing more than a glorified place to take his aggression out, but all of the numbness within you thaws and for the first time since you realized Geto was no longer Geto in Shibuya, you feel. 

It’s hard to name all the emotions you are experiencing because they blur into something barely comprehensible. Pleasure and pain and bone chilling sorrow, the kind that makes tears silently drip down your face while he takes what he wants from you. He doesn’t bother to play with your clit and there is no need to, the joy you’re taking simply from being used by Suguru’s body enough that the knot inside of you is slowly beginning to unravel. 

Skin on skin punctuated by his low grunts and your whines fill the small room and you are so lost, you lift yourself halfway up to meet Kenjaku and consider kissing him. Would it be close enough to kissing Suguru that you could eventually justify it or would it just sully the one good memory you have of him? 

You don’t have long to think about it before you are pushed back down to the bed, one of his hands caging your throat and keeping you pinned to the bed below. A reminder that this is for his pleasure and not yours although you feel yourself coming closer to the edge than you were just moments prior, shutting your eyes tightly. All of the motion inside of you stops, the hard thrusts of his cock ending, and your eyes shoot open.

“Remember what I said. Eyes on me or you get nothing.”

Nodding, you keep them open and he begins again, pace rougher than before. You can do nothing but grunt and struggle to breathe, his cock carving out space inside of you that didn’t exist until he entered you. Every kiss of his tip against your insides knocks the breath out of you and finally you cum in a strangled moan, walls quivering around his length. 

His hand inches further up your throat and squeezes experimentally. As expected, you do not fight back and he takes his indulgence with a grin, choking you with varying degrees of pressure and feeling your cunt spasm around him when he surprises you by tightening his grip. 

You like this. You want this.

He leans forward and shifts his weight to his arm and hand, finally spilling inside of you with a deep moan. Warmth fills every inch of you and you wish that you felt as full in your heart as you do in your cunt but a void remains.

Kenjaku’s other hand slides up your body and wraps around your neck, both of his palms resting on either side of your neck and fingers splaying over your throat. It’s dangerous to let him have this much access to any part of you that he could possibly crush but you do not move, tearfully looking up at him and sniffling. He increases his pressure, not enough to harm you, but enough to make you work hard and you realize how easily he could just…end this.

“Please kill me,” you beg while struggling to breathe, realizing what you’ve done now that the afterglow of orgasm can no longer protect you from the cold hard truth. 

You are a betrayer. You slept with the enemy to sate your own selfish desires and death seems almost too kind to beg for, yet you do.

“Kill me.”

Your face turns in shade and your vision is dotted with darkness, a miserable end to a miserable life you consider, but at least it will be over. The pressure of Kenjaku’s hands around your neck continues to increase until you are certain you are taking your last breath, lungs aching until he abruptly stops. He glances down from where he rests above you, half swollen cock softening and letting his cum leak out around the tip of it that is still inside of you and onto the sheets below. 

“I will not give you the satisfaction of death until you give me the satisfaction of watching you fight for it.” 

Removing his hands from around your throat completely, he glances down at the pressure indentions of his fingers with a smile. Your eyes flutter shut, you’ve passed out from lack of air, and he admires the heap he has left you in, reaching for your robe and wiping the remnants of his release and yours on the corner of it.

Nobody is coming to save you, a secret Kenjaku knows that you are not yet aware of. Satoru Gojo is dead, defeated at the hands of Sukuna. The news broke this morning and he was preparing to come to your room to let you know until this little distraction occurred. He had an inkling you were susceptible to Suguru Geto’s charms even from beyond the grave but he had no idea it would be this easy, your slumped form resting on the futon beside him. He pats your head as one would a treasured dog, long and loving strokes that do not stir you, your bare breasts swaying slightly with every breath you take.

The new world is on the horizon and he may keep you around as a plaything for a little longer than he originally intended.

#kenjaku x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #kendall writes

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Can I be the helpless victim? (Ghostface! Miguel O’Hara x Fem! Reader x Ghostface! Peter B Parker) Part 2

Hiii! Tbh I wasn’t gonna make a second part but….. why not! Not proofread, also this is my first time writing smut so I’m sorry if it’s cringy or badly written.

NSFW!!, Cursing,mentions of reader being drugged, Yandere Peter and Miguel, mentions readers dead boyfriend, Threesome, reader is chained up at beginning, double penetration, pussy slapping, ass slapping, reader gets fucked dumb, Miguel vaguely threatens ready but don’t actually hurt her,use of “good girl”, possessive Miguel and Peter, SMUT!! Non-Con/Dub-con, Dead Dove Do not eat, MDNI!

Word count: 1.4K

Part 1

Masterlist

—

Your head was aching as you began to drift back into consciousness, what a weird dream…

You let out a yawn as you open your eyes, the after effects of your deep slumber made your vision blur, wincing at the harsh light from ceiling light. You go to rub your eyes, but stopping once you notice your wrists are oddly heavy, and the faint nose of medal clinking rang through your ears. The hair on the back of your neck stood up, the dull ache suddenly turning into a massive pounding as you suddenly recall your last waking moments, hitting you like a freight train.

It wasn’t a dream.

Your heart jumps up into your throat as your breath quickened, your hands start to shake as you begin to sit up, only to feel a pair of chains on your ankles as well. You quickly began to squirm on the unfamiliar king size bed, attempting to pull yourself out of the chains knowing full well all your struggling would only result in tiring you out, but your mind was too frantic to think rationally at the moment. Eventually, your arms began to ache from the heavy metal, and the rattling only made your headache worse so you took in a deep breath and cleared your throat, attempting to use your own saliva to lubricate your throat.

“H-hello!” You manage to croak, ignoring the burning that followed, looking around the room. You felt like you were in a fever dream, the room was almost a one by one replica of yours except bigger, and all the pics you had hung up featuring your (now dead) boyfriend were replaced with photos of… wait…

“Angelita…You're up?” A voice asked from the hall, before footsteps were heard, your blood ran cold once the voice found your ears. You know that accent anywhere. You didn’t even realize you were still in the angel/Juliet costume for Halloween on, until he called you that.

“M-Miguel? Is that you?” You already knew the answer though. Your voice shook slightly with each syllable despite your hardest attempts to keep it calm. “What’s-what’s going on?”

There was a small pause, silent growing over the room as you wait for an answer, the only noise where the footsteps drawing closer and the slight shuffling of your chains and sheets as you try to find a more comfortable position in the bed, it was hard though when your heartbeat was so rapid that you could feel it pulsating in your ears.

“Finally… I thought for a bit I had put too much chloroform on the rag I gave Miguel.” A second voice spoke, making you all the more confused upon seeing the two enter the room, but the confusion turned into panic once again once you realized who it belong too.

“Pete-Miguel- you guys gonna let me go.” You pleaded as you try to yank at the chains once more, “Please- please- I don’t know what you want but-“

“Cálmate Angelita… you’re gonna injure those delicate wrists of yours…” Miguel says in an eerily calm tone as he and Peter walked up to you, one on either side of the bed, Miguel wrapping his callous hand around your restant, before giving it a tight squeeze. A pained whimper leaving your lips as he does so, neither of you had to say it out right to know that was a warning. One that said “be a good girl or I’ll break your wrists” and you didn’t want to see if he was just bluffing or not, you knew now what he was capable. What both of them were capable of.

“Don’t-don’t hurt me! I’ll do whatever you want! Just don’t hurt me- don’t kill me!” The pleas came out rushed and frantic, letting them fall out of your mouth before your brain could stop the word vomit, fearing what would happen if you angered them for whatever reason. But instead of the angry reaction you were expecting, Peter smirked, a huff of air escaping through his nose as he leaned down, nuzzing your cheek with his nose. A deep and almost sadistic chuckle rumbles from his chest, his hot breath hitting your face, causing your skin to erupt in goosebumps. You wanted to move away but your body froze with fear as you felt his hand go to your stomach, before slowly trailing to the side then down, his index finger tracing a small heart over and over on the side of your hip.

“Anything?” Peter asked, and you swallowed down the limp that had formed in your throat.

Oh how you regret your words already.

—

“What do you say?” Peter asked, almost mockingly.

“Hmm-ahh… ahhh…”

“Poor girl, can’t even think anymore… probably fucked her little brain into mush.” Miguel cooed.

Another whine leaves your lips, your eyes roll so far back Peter could only see the whites of your eyes as he continues to thrust his hips up, his stamina nor his pace wavering despite the two of them having their way with you for over an hour now. He couldn’t help the groan that leaves his lips when Miguel pulls you back to lean against his tan and sweaty chest with a hash tug of your hair, your whine somehow becoming even higher. No matter how much Miguel and Peter have been dreaming of this day, none of it compared to how it was actually happening. Your lewd and borderline pornographic sounds enough for the two grown men to feel like horny teens waking up from their first wet dream.

Expect this was so much better than a wet dream, any fantasy, because it was real. You had finally given yourself to them, even though it wasn't exactly much of a choice, being bound to happen eventually, but the sooner the better. First your body then your mind will follow, and if you don’t, they’ll just fuck you till they pushed any thoughts of resistance out with their cocks, making your brain leak away from between your legs.

You felt so impossibly full, how both could fit inside you was a complete miracle, and you were so overstimulated, your moans turning into nothing but whine and whimpers, the hickies they had riddled all over your body didn’t help either. Your legs were shaking almost as much as the bed underneath you was, and you were sure if Miguel wasn’t guiding you up and down you wouldn’t have been able to move at all. Another gasp leaves your lips when you felt Miguel’s hand slap your left asscheek, followed by Peter hitting your sensitive clit with his palm repeatedly, squirming attempting to get away from their hands, but you didn’t really have anywhere to go as you clenched around them like a vase.

“Muñeca… I need you to try and think for a second…” Miguel said to you in between shallow breaths, you dumbly nodded, despite not comprehending a single word that was said to you. “What’s your name?” He had asked, not being able to hold a smirk from forming on his face. Peter only let out a small eye roll, already knowing where this was going. (Doll)

Your name? Why were they asking you what your name was? You licked your dry lips before attempting to speak.

“My-name…my name is-“

Thruuuust.

Your mouth hung open as you let out another whine. Peter let out a chuckle before dipping his head down into the crook of your neck, nibbling at the dark hickey he left.

“Come on pretty, don’t leave Miguel hanging, you know your name don’t you?” Peter teased, before tugging at the purple and red spot. You let out a noise that sounded like a mix of a moan, a whine and a borderline sob as you shook your head.

“Don’t-don’t know-fuck-don’t re-ahhh-remember… feels too good…”

“Fuck-who owns you?”

“You-ahhh- you do! Both of-fuckfuckfuck- you do!” You exclaimed without much thought, nothing thinking about anything else except the building in your lower stomach as you come close to your 5th orgasim.

“Good fucking girl.” The praise was enough to push you over the edge, your vision becoming spotty as your spasm and twitch uncontrollably around their members, their names falling from your lips like a mantra before eventually slumping over into Peter’s chest. Your breaths heavy as you allow your eyes to flutter shut, Miguel and Peter hold you onto you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as they lull you to sleep.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o hara fanfic #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 x reader #astv miguel #astv spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara au #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader x peter #Peter b Parker #peter b parker au #peter b parker x reader #peter b parker fanfic #spiderman astv #atsv miguel #atsv spiderman #spiderman 2099 fanfic #spiderdads x reader #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere peter b parker #ghostface miguel o’hara #ghostface Peter b Parker #smut #Miguel O’Hara smut #Peter b Parker smut

[uyuartik]

promises, promises

Aaron Hotchner x f!reader

warnings:nothing actually, just fluff, aaron is barely there tbh, but it makes sense no worries, suggestive themes

A/N: first time posting on tumblr and first time writing about criminal minds! i made this in a hurry, and it's been a while since i used this format, so feel free to correct any mistakes you see. likes and reblogs are very much encouraged, i can't wait to hear your comments. hope you like it!

hope you like it, @eveningserenityyy

crossposted on ao3

When you both returned home from a hard case, all you ever wanted was him. 

You didn’t care how late it was, or how exhausted you two were. Unfortunately, like the last couple of days didn't consume your every waking hour, you weren't totally free once it was over. The flight was long enough to leave your hands itching for a touch, your legs bounced with the urge to carry you to his side. Your eyes were fixated on him, ogling his broad shoulders and strong arms that were pronounced even under his suit. Not to mention the fact that with the effect he had on you would remain unsolved for some time, you couldn't just use this time to take a nap. You'd surely dream, or talk during your sleep, and reveal what should remain private. He was kind enough to show his interest by placing a hand on your thigh during the car ride, though that somehow made things worse as it stayed in the same spot, leaving you to only imagine all the things you’d do once you got home.

But, being the Aaron Hotchner he is, with all his previous cognizance and secret smiles, now he didn’t seem to share your amusement. Not immediately. 

Because when he closed the door behind his back (carrying both of your small suitcases, gentlemen as ever), you were quick to cage him against the same door, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him with the accumulated lust of the previous week. He didn’t reject the initiation, kissing you back with probably half of your enthusiasm, but it was enough to make you moan, and cause him to smile, which you felt more than actually see. One hand was wrapped around your waist, the other in the process of depositing the luggages safely against the wall, but then the now free hand didn’t find its way to you, so you pressed your bodies, reaching in for another kiss. It was in this moment that he held your chin, and said the words that crushed your spirit.

“Take care of yourself, and then I’ll come and take care of you.”

You huffed and whined, grinding on him harder and attempting to convince him with your lips, all fallen to deaf ears as he peppered a kiss to your wrist, and unhooked himself from it, leaving you to stand there. Seeing that you were actually stunned, he called your name with a look that emphasized his words. There was a certain authority to his voice, but the type solely reserved for the ones he loves, a warning that comes from wishing the best for you. Now, it was also laden with a subtle neediness. If you were a little less tired, you'd have been more adamantine in your venture, and you'd succeed, an undeniable probability. Who was he to resist, if you fell to your knees here-

So, with an exaggerated sigh, you stripped out of your jacket, purposely throwing it to the nearest surface. Aaron laughed(you can swear it echoed in the house, the warmth of it bouncing off of the walls and finding its way inside your belly), taking in your attitude as you carried yourself to the kitchen for a handful of snacks and a big glass of water. The next stop was the bathroom, where you brushed your teeth under the tired gaze of your reflection. What was the point of having a shower if you had to take another in a few hours? 

Okay, that was a little gross, but considering the somnolescent effects of the hot water, your battle on the verge of being lost and that irritated you beyond reason, to say the least.

After all that (which took no more than twenty minutes thanks to your work habits, yet it felt so much longer), you opted for his favorite t-shirt and a pair of panties. The t-shirt was another attempt to get him mad, because you knew he'd choose this one in this particular night, and now he couldn't. However, you quickly realised it was not the case, as he finally made his way to bed. You didn't open your eyes, just feeling the dip of the mattress as he settled behind you, pulling you towards his very naked chest. The newly changed sheets (subtle bastard, he was) crinkled under your movement, a sensation you ravished, especially since he was there too.

“You’re too late.” You slurred, too tired even to react when his wet hair rubbed against your skin. His scent was intoxicating, and it was all you could breathe while he buried himself into your neck, starting his sweet assault. His fingers slithered up your leg, creating a tingly route. You squirmed under all the affection he showed, for it was a lot for your poor nerves to handle, and somehow, found yourself pressed to him even closer. Your breathing picked up, and this time, he let himself mirror your reaction. He groaned, his hand now just below your breasts, under his t-shirt. Damn, you were cute with your eyes closed and brows scrunched, weakly holding onto his arm yet strong enough to wriggle your hips against him.

“You’ll see I am a man of my word.”

#criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #hotchner x reader

[nebbyy]

Asra x reader

Summary: just some headcanons that came to my mind about Asra<3

Warning: smuttt, but nothing crazy tho, there are mostly mentions or hints of smut, nothing specifically described (it’s mostly just angst tbh). There are also SPOILERS for Asra’s route and the Arcana plot in general, so if you haven’t finished playing it I suggest you don’t read this post. 

A/N: just to specify, reader is wrote as non-binary:) Also, this is the first smuttish thing I write, so feedbacks and advices are very much welcome<3<3

Asra has always been a passionate lover. It’s just the way he is, his body can’t help but follow the intensity of feelings his soul feels, and transfer it from the level of the soul to the level of the body

When he first met you, it was almost as if a wave washed over him, depriving him of balance, and he could find it once again in the feeling of you and your body, pressed against him

Passion mixes with intensity and haste the first times the two of you have sex. His every movement is a physical demonstration of  just how deep, how powerful, his feelings for you are

Once the two of you are done, you’re left breathless, legs shaking and sore, sweat covering your body, tears of pleasure running down your cheeks. You’re spent in the best way possible

It starts to change during the beginning of the Red Plague. The deep empathy you feel for the people dying in the streets, the desire to do something to help, takes all your desires to feel pleasure (or anything joyful for that matter), replacing it with the urge to help as many as you can

You start growing distant from each other, the atmosphere in the shop becomes tense, the interactions between you and Asra are short and almost void of any emotion. You start visiting the castle more often, volunteering to help doctor Devorak in finding a cure for this Plague. It comes without say that sex wasn’t really in neither of your minds

And it only becomes worse after your death. Asra feels that same wave washing over him, but this time he doesn’t welcome the feeling of it. It make feel lost, knowing that the very person he used to hold on to, the only one that made him forget the rest of the world, and just give into the pleasure the wave brought

This wave brings grief, desperation. Hell, it even brings hallucinations to some point. He can’t make out what’s real and what’s fake, he can’t discern when he’s dreaming and when he’s awake

It’s at this point that his situationship with Julian starts. We all know just how toxic it was, for the both of them. But Julian needed to feel love in these dreadful times, and Asra needed to feel that same feeling of grounding to save him from the power of that wave

It wasn’t the same as you, he knew that very well. Julian couldn’t fill the void of love Asra felt, he could only satisfy his carnal desires, give him that brief high that, for just a moment, made him forget everything that was happening in his life, his losses, his mistakes, his regrets

But not much time passes before that high becomes unsatisfying, and the guilt of what he’s doing takes over him. How can he do this with Julian, when all he’s thinking of is you? How can he deem himself worthy of having you once again in his arms, when instead of keeping the void you left empty, awaiting for your return, he filled it with someone else, someone not even comparable to you in his eyes?

That’s when the weird relationship between Asra and Julian ends, when Asra conveys all his energies and time in finding a way to get you back

At first, there was nothing in his mind when it came to you other than gratitude to have you back along with the utmost care to tend to you, to comfort you when you were in pain or scared at whatever appeared new to you after you came back. Your mind was at the same level as one of a child, there was no desire in Asra other than to have you back as you were

As time goes by, and you regain the aspects of the person you once were, that desire, that wave of passion, starts to awaken once again in him

And then after years of longing for the feeling of you’re touch, of your body pressed against him, he once again can feel that same feeling of euphoria once your bodies merge once again. Only that this time, his demeanor has changed. There’s a different kind of intensity in his actions

There’s not the feverish haste in his movements anymore; instead, he takes his sweet time kissing you, caressing your body, worshipping you as if you were some sort of deity. He holds you as if you’d disappear in his arms if he loosens his grip too much

His thrusts are slow and deep, making that wave of pleasure that’s in him fall into you too. It makes you feel a deeper kind of pleasure, one with such forse that it has you detached from reality once you reach your high, it knocks the breath out of your lungs, and it makes you only desire to hold Asra closer, to have him deeper inside you. You almost wish you could become one

There are still times where you have fast, rough sex, one that ends quickly and leaves you both breathless and spent. But you just prefer to feel that deeper connection, the one that has you longing for more, that morphs into endless hours of just holding each other. It makes you both feel as if time has stopped, and there’s no one else in the world but you two

#asra alnazar #asra the arcana #asra x mc #asra x apprentice #asra x reader #asra x julian #asra alnazar x reader #angst #fluff #writers on tumblr #smut #headcanon #headcanons #my hcs #the arcana #the arcana x reader #the arcana x mc #writing requests #requests open #reqs open #request

[sparrowofthedawnsworld]

For everyone’s entertainment (because according to my friend, it’s hilarious that I’ve fucked to nearly every gvf song) -

Greta Songs that I have done the deed to and how I rank them:

Age Of Machine, 10/10 - this one hit. I can’t even begin to explain it. If you haven’t put this song on your filthy playlist, it should be on there. Go do it.

The Archer, 10/10 - Gah damn. That’s all I can even say about this one.

The Barbarians, 10/10 - Obviously. I mean, come on. Good shit.

Frozen Light, 10/10 - That bass line? She’s sexy, so therefore… it fits a sexy environment.

Fate Of The Faithful, 9.5/10 - This one is down right NASTY. Like holy fuck I’d let this song put a baby in me. DAYUM when I tell y’all this one just hits different. Jesus christ.

Stardust Chords, 9/10 - I know what y’all are probably thinking… but it’s so good.

The Falling Sky, 9/10 - Was definitely adding to the intensity. In the right situation, this shit will get you railed.

Built By Nations, 9/10 - Once again… if the vibes are right, shit will get you railed. It’s heavenly, really.

The Weight Of Dreams, 9/10 - This shit was almost like an otherworldly experience. The guitar solo??? Yeah. Mhm. Orgasmic.

Meeting The Master, 8.5/10 - The change in intensity throughout this song is really what makes it so good to me.

Sacred The Thread, 8/10 - This shit… whew. The drums sell it. The rhythm is immaculate, tbh.

Brave New World, 8/10 - would have NEVER truly expected this one to hit as hard as it did. Good god.

My Way Soon, 8/10 - This one is solid. If it played again while I was doing it, I wouldn’t be mad at all.

Watching Over, 7.5/10 - I can’t say it let me down. It didn’t. It doesn’t always fit the vibes, though.

Lover, Leaver (Taker, Believer), 7/10 - Again, could absolutely dig it in the right situation, otherwise I would deem it a little much.

The Indigo Streak, 6.5/10 - While the solo is sooo fuckinggg sexy, the song overall would not be my first choice, but I don’t dislike it, either.

Safari Song, 6.5/10 - this one was pretty fun after you get beyond Josh’s scream at the beginning 💀

Age Of Man, 6.5/10 - This one would genuinely be sooo much higher on the list, if it didn’t make me so damn emotional.

The Cold Wind, 6/10 - this one’s crazy but… on the occasion I like it.

Light My Love, 6/10 - Unless you’re trying to be all sweet and sappy, I’d stay away from this one… but it was lovely. I won’t lie. I liked it.

Trip The Light Fantastic, 5.5/10 - I loved it and also felt weird about it all at once???

Caravel, 5/10 - I… As sexy as the bass line is, for some reason it just didn’t quite scratch the itch in my brain all the way.

Talk On The Street, 5/10 - Before actually fucking to it, I would have said, “hell yeah, I bet this one would be great!” But it’s just mid.

Heat Above, 5/10 - So sweet… but i’d rather not have flashbacks to my greta show and suddenly be on the verge of tears.

Highway Tune, 4.5/10 - I tried it simply because Jake said it was in a sex scene…

Tears Of Rain, 4/10 - Lowkey… could have put this higher, but also I have to mentally prepare for this song or I will cry. Sooo… idk.

Broken Bells, 3/10 - Great if you like choking on sobs while having sex.

Flower Power 2/10 - This one played on accident… And i did lay there contemplating leaning over and skipping it.

You’re The One, 1/10 - I just… I can’t. It’s TOO sweet, like in a little highschool crush kind of way.

Farewell For Now, 0/10 - This one couldn’t have played at a worse time and I hated every second of it. Love the song, but not for THAT.

#inside sparrow’s mind #gvf #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #jake kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka #sammy gvf #jake gvf #danny gvf #josh gvf

[shinycollarboneapologist]

Concept; having a wet dream about matty and waking up the middle of the night (beside him). And your just so horny and grinding on him and he asks what’s the matter with you and you explain and then he fucks you so good

omfg this is so.... ur mind, i love it. some smutty bits under the cut, so minors dni.

its one of the first times you're spending the night at matty's place. the two of you had been loved up all day, giggling to each other and baking and cooking dinner together. you watch your favorite movie and then its time to get ready for bed. you take a shower and use his body wash and he's probably foaming at the mouth because you smell like him and its so 🥵 to him. and then you both tuck into bed and you're fast asleep, head on his chest, before he can even say goodnight and kiss your head.

he wakes up when he hears ruckus next to him. you two had been sleeping only for a little, but his bleary eyes are looking at the clock and its a little after 1 am, and your eyes are shut but he hears these lewd noises coming from your parted lips and you're practically straddling his thigh at this point. his mouth feels dry and he has to try and calm his thoughts while he's gently waking you. you're blinking sleep from your eyes, chest rising and falling and you feel like you're about to burst. the dream felt so so so real and the throbbing between your legs is only getting worse when you meet matty's blown-out pupils. "what's wrong, doll face?" he's teasing you at this point and trying to bite back the smirk that's starting to curl on his lips. you're explaining the dream to him now, a bit bashfully and cheeks flushed that you had gotten caught. and as you keep speaking, you feel him slowly start to kiss down your jaw and neck, pressing sinful kisses to your shoulder. "think i should do something about that then. can't leave my baby like this, what kind of boyfriend would i be." he tsks. and you nod eagerly in agreement, catching his lips in a heated kiss whilst he manages to singlehandedly strip you both down to nothing. matty makes quick work of slipping into you (you had pretty much soaked through your underwear and onto his thigh, which he comments on), hoisting your leg over him. you're both laying on your sides facing each other and he's just basking in all of your soft moans and pleas and utterances of his name as he fucks into you slow. its not enough to truly give you the respite you desperately craved, but its enough to have you whining out for him to rail into you. he's grinning and flips so he's on his back, holding your hips up and he just fucks up into you, hard, but he's murmuring out sweet praises, calling you pretty and an angel and just letting you have it tbh. its mind-numbingly fast and hard and you're gripping onto the head board with your head rolling back because its so good. to think that you were asleep only a few minutes prior is making your head spin and go all fuzzy, because this feels like your dream at this point. he definitely makes you cum a few times that night so you're all fucked out. and he makes sure to clean up between your legs with tongue (and then a rag (he's a gentleman ok)). and before you know it you're tucked back into his side and tracing circles on his chest and he's bidding you a final goodnight with a "sweet dreams, baby, hope you dream of my dick some more" and you pinch his arm but he's just laughing. <3

#💭 - matty. #matty healy smut #i would kill for this ok

[kunekojo]

Hello there honeyy. Hope you have a nice start of the week. I would like to leave a request for Shunsui Kyoraku and Kenpachi Zaraki (my daddies) x fem s/o. How would they react, feel or act if their s/o had temporary amnesia because of a fight they had? Maybe he/she doesn't remember them.

You know, we need angst in this life. This can happen in the Thousand Year Blood War timeline. Thank you very much 🤍

AHHH HELLOO sweet anon! Thank you, my week started a little busy but it's slowly getting empty. I truly hope your week is going fine!! I'm so glad you're the first to request angst bc tbh, I'm down bad for it. Please, enjoy! P.S. i may have slipped some fluff inside but I blame my angst playlist for it

Kyoraku Shunsui and Zaraki Kenpachi reacting to their s/o with temporary amnesia

warning: TYBW spoilers, angst

Kyoraku Shunsui

After the fight, Shunsui goes searching for you right away despite his own injuries, but when he finds you laid down, he's quick to notice that you're unconscious. His heart sinks as he frantically reaches to hold you in his arms and all he can think is "Why wasn't I here to protect you?". A wave of guilt surges through him as he rushes to take you back to safety, where you can get healed

But as you're getting healed, you simply don't wake up. He's stuck watching you with a blank expression drawn all over his face as his hand reaches for yours but the lack of motion is simply terrible. How did it come to this?

He's so angry with himself and everyone might try to console him by telling him it's not his fault, but still, he can't help but blame himself.

It takes you a little to come back to reality, maybe a few days, but dear god those days were the longest for him. During your silent recovery, he stayed with you almost always. No one was able to take him away from you, not even Nanao who simply felt the anguish on his face despite him trying to mask it.

There was just a need to guard you that filled him, even if there was no threat anymore. He simply couldn't go a moment without making sure nothing happens until you woke up.

And soon enough, after 3 days of being immobilized, you open your eyes right as he's napping soundly next to you. He feels the vibrations of your movement and jolts, happier than ever to see you. He doesn't say much but places his hand on your face to run soft caresses along your cheek, but the way you simply stare at him cluelessly is a bad sign.

"My dearest love, what's wrong?" "W-who are you?"

GOD the way you mouthed those words slashed him worse than the blade of the enemy, they were sharp enough to tear through his heart and leave him frozen in place.

"What do you mean? It's me, Shu." you can see the pained expression on his face and the way his furrowed brows tremble. He can't grasp the situation, or more like he refuses to, but when someone else comes in and breaks the ice by telling him you seem to suffer from amnesia, he takes your hand

Truthfully, he's so hurt once his fears are confirmed, not only because his lover doesn't remember him anymore, but also because he can't imagine how you must feel.

"There's a chance they will regain their memories?" "And how would that happen?" "We just have to wait."

Those words aren't helpful enough for him but he'll patiently wait for you to get your memories back, no matter how much time it takes.

From then on, he takes you in his care. He begins telling you about yourself, in the hope that'll awaken you but it doesn't work. He'll go ahead and answer any of your curiosities, no matter how stupid they might sound. He's so patient with you and cherishes the simple fact you're still alive, but seeing you so clueless about everything, things you usually enjoy, things you've always dreamed of, it saddens him so much.

He's turned so careful of you that now he won't leave your side. Say even one tiny ouch and he'll be there, ready as if you're being attacked.

Then at some point, you ask him about himself. You ask how you two met and what's the relationship between the two of you and his expression changes drastically.

"It's hard to believe, but you just happen to be my one and only true love." it's the way he words his explanation so softly that you don't brush it away.

"Isn't it painful... to have me around? Wouldn't it be better to stay away from me for no-" "No, not at all. I want to fall in love with you again and again, until the end. "

Somehow, that makes you fall for him, despite already being together.

By the following days, you find yourself doing a couple of things together, he's taught you quite a lot and that fact alone is worrying to many, especially Nanao.

Zaraki Kenpachi

Right after the battle is done, Kenpachi searches for you. He just wants to feel your touch, hear how you've handled your fight, and tell you how his own were. However, while looking for you, someone else's voice calling for him snatches his focus and he can't ignore them once they say "It's Y/N, it's bad."

As soon as he hears something happened to you he darts to your location, aggressively asking what happened. Yet, when he sees you all laid down unconscious he's stunned, he thought you were safe.

He gently grabs you from the ground, so firmly as not to cause any more damage and his voice is heavy with anger and upsetness.

"What the hell happened." "They seem to be unconscious." "For how long?" "We don't know"

Hearing that kills him, but he can't help not staying close to you until everyone gathers. He can't accept things ending like this, you have to get better so he can hear your voice again. That drives him to train more so he can handle enemies much better, just to be able to help you from now on. After every single training, he'll come to stay by your side until you wake up (which thankfully doesn't take you long)

But there's something odd about the way you're eyeing him as if he's some stranger. He drags his palm close to your face and when you just stare at it rather worriedly he can tell there is something bad.

"Y/N" "Huh? Where am I?" "You're safe, don't you know who I am?" "No..."

Although he seems really calm, inside he's burning with frustration. Frustration over what happened, frustration over how this could've been prevented, and frustration with himself. But he can't dwell on these, he has to act.

Truthfully, these are new emotions he's experiencing, the grief of your loved one not remembering him is something he can hardly take. He has to go and train every night just to keep himself distracted but during every spare moment, he'll be right with you, silently guarding over you and helping you.

Kenpachi thinks he can only deal with his feelings by destroying target dummies to the point they're is nothing left of them. But baby boy, it might help with his pent-up anger but it doesn't sway away the anguish in his soul.

Yet your smile helps him a little and gives him hope you might return back one day, whenever you're ready.

Someone from the healing department insists he can go rest and that's the point he just lashes at them, screaming and all because this has been really hard on him. But despite this, he's still so soft and patient with you, even going to lengths to teach you everything you can't remember.

You may not hold those past memories anymore, but he still does and that won't make him draw back from you. His behavior helps you feel somewhat familiar with him, it brings a scent of nostalgia so you just stick along, especially since he's the first face you've seen when you awoke.

The day you're good to go comes and given the fact he's spent so much time with you, you instinctively follow his lead. Kenpachi takes you to his place and during the following days, you'll hear only stories of your fights and how triumphant you looked and were.

He's doing all these in the hopes you might remember but also as a way to hold your old self fresh in mind because he misses you so much. Sure you're there, but it feels like you're not really there and that feeling alone is tormenting.

"Were we something more before?" "Yes" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Don't be"

You can literally smell the whiff of sadness in his voice so you place your hand on his arm to comfort him which works more than you anticipated. A little carried away, he places his head on your shoulder and hums, he's longed to do this so much.

#kenpachi x y/n #kenpachi zaraki #bleach kenpachi #shunsui x y/n #shunsui bleach #shunsui kyoraku #bleach #bleach imagine #angst

[hanlixmin]

Don’t Forget About Me, I Will Always Love You

Seungmin x Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Tbh this might get deleted idk lmfaoo

“You can no longer be with Y/N, Seungmin. Debut is in 2 weeks. I’m giving you until then.” Jyp spoke to Seungmin. He was aware of this when he signed to the label. The idols are not allowed to be in relationships as it would take away the focus that needed to be put in. Seungmin didn’t want to leave you though. You guys have been together since your freshman year of high school. It’s always been you and him together through everything. Never once did he think he’d really have to let you go. Even when he first started out in the industry, you’ve been so supportive and so understanding of his busy schedule. He appreciated you so much because not once did you make him feel terrible for the long nights without him and the busy days where he couldn’t constantly be texting you. He needed you. He never wanted to lose you and/or let you go. This was the hardest thing in his entire life that he ever had to do. He could choose losing you or giving up his dreams, but he knew you wouldn’t allow it. That’s just who you were.

Jyp’s words lingered through Seungmins head all day. He was dreading breaking up with you because you were his soulmate, his rock, his #1, his happiness, his everything. Life without you wouldn’t make sense and it wouldn’t be easy for him. Letting you go would cause the biggest heartache on him. He knows it. He knows he wouldn’t do well. He went to the only person who knew what to do. The best leader around him. His hyung, Chan. When he explained everything to Chan, Chan felt the pain and hurt as if it were his own. “I know this is going to be hard, but at least in like 2 years you guys can find each other again.” Chan spoke as he took Seungmin into a warm embrace. “I’m sure Y/N will understand this. She’s been your number one supporter and I’ve seen it with my own eyes. It doesn’t get much realer and genuine than that.” He added and while Seungmin heard him, he couldn’t just bring himself to agree but he nodded anyways. This isn’t what he wants. What he wants, is to be able to be home with you and spending all his time with you because that’s his choice. He just wants you. How could he bring himself to just dump away the love of his life and all the years you both spent together.

For the past two weeks, Seungmin has been spending as much time with you as he possibly could. He didn’t want to waste any of it. He knew that stalling could and would make things worse, but he couldn’t stop himself. Time was running out and he knew he had to move quickly.

Currently, you’re both sitting in his dorm room. You both just came back from a dinner date and walking around to aight see. “I had so much fun.” You said, as you snuggled into his chest on the couch. He stayed quiet, but he smiled. The room fell silent. Both of you just taking in each other’s company. Seungmins heart began to race, he wasn’t quite sure how you couldn’t hear it. It was time. He cleared his throat. “Babe, can we talk about something?” Uh oh. Sitting up immediately, you sat to face him. “Yes, of course. What’s up?” He looked at you with the most obvious frown ever. That’s when your smile fell as well. He couldn’t say anymore. He just began sobbing. “Baby what’s wrong?” You said, as you took him into your arms. It took him a moment to speak. All you got was sniffle after sniffle. You were patient with him, not wanting to rush him because he was clearly not okay. He finally spoke in between sniffles. “Y/N, baby. I’m so sorry but we have to break up.” You could feel yourself stop breathing for a moment. “What?” Was all you could manage to get out of your throat. He nodded in your chest. “We are debuting soon, and JYP won’t allow us to have relationships as it could take away the work. I don’t want to do this Y/N. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to let you go but this is my dream. I know you won’t let me, but I will give it up for you. I don’t want to lose you. Just saying we have to break up is tearing me apart.” He vented all in one breath it seemed like. He was right. This was his dream. Through it all, you were here for him. You understand that relationships are not allowed, you just wished it wasn’t true. There’s nobody else you wanted in this world more than Seungmin. Nobody caught your eye and you didn’t bother looking. This is his job. As much as it broke your heart, he worked so hard to get to where he is today. Debuting? You were so proud of him. He’s going to make it so big. Yes, your heart is broken and yes you will miss him but he’s going to be living his dreams. “Seungmin, I will miss you. I’ll wait for you. However long it takes.” You say, as a single teardrop falls down your face. “I’m proud of you, my love. You’re very successful. I’ve been cheering you on this long and I will always continue to do so.” He wiped your tears as you wiped his. Saying goodbye was not an easy thing to do. Now that he’s debuting, you’d rarely ever see him again. “Don’t forget about me, I will always love you.” You said, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “Forget you? How could I ever? You’re the love of my life, Y/N.” He wrapped his arms around you. He wishes he could stay like this forever. “It’s only for the first like 2 years. Then we can reunite. I won’t ask you to wait for me, but I’ll be hoping you do.” Tears we’re still streaming. This wasn’t easy and he didn’t expect it to be. You both were in love with each other. You didn’t know life without each other. “Of course I will wait for you, Seungmin. I’ll always wait for you. Please don’t ever worry about that. Can we at least still keep in touch? Even as friends?” Hoping his answer would be yes, you sat there. “I would be so busy that I’d barely be able to get back to you but yes we can keep in touch. I’ll always always always find ways to make sure I get back to you.” You nodded with a smile on your face. “We will be okay, Seungmin. We will find each other and will pick up right where we left off.”

It was getting late and Seungmin had practice in the morning. He took you back to your apartment. He knew that if he went inside, it would make it even harder for him to leave. So, he walked you to your doorstep and you both held each other for a little while longer. So many years, so many memories and moments flooded through your minds. From the first date, to the first kiss, everything you guys did. Replayed in your heads. This is it. Your boyfriend, well now ex boyfriend, is a superstar. One last kiss was shared and he was on his way. “Goodbye, my love.” He spoke, as his voice trembled. You immediately shook your head. “This isn’t goodbye. This is a see you later.” You corrected him. Another kiss was shared and you went inside. Seungmin stood outside your door for a bit as he began to cry again. You on the other side of the door, did the same. Hopefully this time flies by fast because you both needed each other. Life without one another didn’t make sense.

#seungmin x y/n #skz fanfic #stray kids reactions #stray kids x y/n #seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #skz seungmin #skz scenarios #kim seungmin #x yn #stray kids

[loversj0y]

late night talking

pairing: cc!sapnap x reader (no use of y/n)

summary: sometimes days dont go to plan. it’s a good thing sapnap is there. and maybe sometimes the best things come from the worst days

tws: food mentions, sleeplessness, suggestive content, this one is pure fluff tbh (theres also a bad wordplay)

author’s note: guess who has another song fic? this one is inspired by late night talking by harry styles because it is just very sapnap coded in my brain. this entire fic was inspired by that song while i was driving. big thanks and much love to @sacnac​ for proofreading <3

I let out a long sigh, dropping my backpack down in the kitchen and collapsing against the counter for a few silent moments. I tried to stay as silent as possible as I straightened up to grab a glass of water, eyes skimming over the time on the oven. 4:07 A.M. I’d never had a day go so far from my plan and just become a pile a horribleness. I’d been up for nearly twenty-four hours, simply trying to get to my boyfriend, Sapnap’s, place. We hadn’t seen each other in months, and I was only going to be in town for two weeks, so the plan was to make the most of it. However, that was not what the universe intended for the two of us. 

It had started with my phone apparently coming unplugged in the middle of the night and dying. Instead of my usual alarm waking me and allowing me to have time to get ready, I was awoken by sheer panic at the fact that I was a solid five minutes from completely missing my flight. This was followed by the Uber I’d ordered being late, which allowed time for me to completely burn the breakfast I’d tried to speedily make. So, starving and with 10% battery, I’d gotten into the already-late Uber that smelled like cigars and cheap wine, and I listened to my driver talk on the phone (since I’d forgotten my headphones) as I rode to the airport. Everyone at the airport seemed to have it out for me, walking impossibly slow through corridors too small as I waited in TSA. Not to mention tripping out of my shoe and slamming my arm into the conveyer belt. To make matters worse, the coffee shop was still closed, and Sapnap wasn’t even awake yet for me to complain to about everything. 

However, once I finally arrived to my gate, with just a few minutes left to spare, I hit a wall. Both literally, and metaphorically. I smacked into a column by my gate as I read the screen, and I groaned after I pulled away to actually comprehend the screen in front of me. Turns out I was early, because my flight was delayed nine hours over some cloudy weather. 

Except it wasn’t nine hours at first. No, I sat there for nine hours as every hour I prepared in anticipation to board, and every hour they pushed the time further back. When it became clear that it was going to be awhile, I called Sapnap, but the airport was too loud for me to be able to hear him at all. He’d gone live for a little bit, which would’ve allowed me to at least have a piece of him through all the hell, if not for the fact that the airport wi-fi was incredibly shit. I finally was able to have a conversation with him once the night rolled around and the airport began to empty out, and I could tell he was tired. He’d woken up earlier than he usually does to try and help prepare for my arrival, and I’d almost felt bad for Dream given that I know he was not quiet while cleaning. 

“Baby, it’s okay if you want to sleep. Honestly, I’m exhausted too.”

He whined a bit, “But who’ll be here to greet you when you arrive? And I wanted to pick you up.”

“Well, you know I don’t like you driving at night anyway. But Patches can greet me at the door, and you can greet me once we wake up next to each other.” “But I want it to be nice for you,” He’d whined again, exhaustion clearly slipping into his voice.

I chuckled, “it will be. It’ll be just like when I move in together in the future. I have my key still, and I’ll come sneak into bed and cuddle you. And everything will be perfect in the morning.”

“Mmm, but I wanted to greet you with a kiss. And some big lovin’ hugs, darlin’” He drawled on, “and maybe a lil butt pat or two.”

“Well, sweets, I’ll give your cheek a kiss once I lay down. Plus, you can get all that in the morning. But only if you go to sleep. I need my baby all well rested for me,” I hummed lightly as I spoke. 

“Whatever you want, darlin’, I’ll do. Anything for you. Good night, baby. I love you.”

“Good night, Sap. I love you too, and I’ll be giving you kisses in bed before you know it.”

He hummed out a content noise, and I could hear him slowly settling into bed, “Yeah, you’ll be covered in kisses soon. All the smooches.”

We spoke for a few minutes more before I listened to his words slow into a Texan drawl that led into soft quiet breaths.. It was a bit of brightness in the dull grey of the day so far. Eventually, I boarded the plane, and though the end of the tunnel of hell was near, I ended up stuck to an old man who snored the entire time, and since I’d had no headphones, I couldn’t sleep. 

When I’d managed to hobble myself out of the plane and call an Uber to Sapnap and Dream’s, I’d felt myself growing increasingly annoyed from the long day. I had a burning hatred for my own plans failing, and I’d gone off and on between blaming the universe and myself, but with the exhaustion settling in, I just felt annoyed. I stayed silent in the car ride there, just sitting and staring out the window. I tried to nap but found that I just couldn’t sleep. The exhaustion in my bones was being offset by my own frustration and annoyance, keeping me from ever relaxing enough to actually sleep. I rested my eyes here and there, but I just could not, for whatever cursed reason, actually fall asleep. 

And that led to here. Standing in a kitchen I hadn’t seen in months with full body exhaustion, entirely unable to fall asleep. And even when I thought I had Patches to cheer me up, she ran into Dream’s room. Instead, I resigned myself to making a cup of tea in the hopes that it would lull me into , if not sleep, at least relaxation enough to lie in bed with my boyfriend. 

I shut my eyes. After a few silent moments, I felt two arms wrap around my waist. Soft kisses were pressed against my neck, leading up to my ear, “I thought you were gonna come right to bed,” he murmured softly against my ear. 

I turned and wrapped my arms around my boyfriend, relaxing into him, “‘M sorry, love. I  can’t sleep,” I mumbled weakly. 

He let out a quiet whine, hugging me closer, “I’m sorry, babe. How was your day?” 

I felt my chest grow tight. I wanted to formulate an answer, but instead, I just let out a soft sob. I didn’t even want to cry, let alone realized that I needed to, but once he’d asked how my day was at all, I couldn’t hold back the floodgates. 

“Hey, hey, darling,” he pulled out from the hug, looking at me and gently wiping the tears from my eyes, “It’s alright, talk to me, what’s going on?” 

I just let out another wrecked sob as he softly rubbed my back, “it’s just – it’s been really hard being without you, and today was just so shitty, and I want to sleep so badly, I’m exhausted, and I’ve just missed you so much, and-” I sobbed again, leaning into his chest. 

He wrapped his arms around me, speaking softly into my ear, “Shh, it’s alright, baby. You’re here with me now, I’ve got you.” He kissed the top of my head gently, “C’mon, I want you to take a nice deep breath with me, and then you’re gonna drink your tea, and I’m gonna stay up with you until you can sleep, sound good?”

I nodded softly, and he rubbed my back gently. After a moment, he took a deep breath, and I followed in suit. Once I’d calmed down a bit, he pulled away, grabbing my tea. He mixed in a bit of honey – the way he knew I liked – before handing it to me, and I took a slow sip quietly. 

I turned back around to hug my boyfriend, but he wasn’t next to me anymore. I frowned for a moment until I heard the music. I recognized the song instantly, and I snorted softly as Sapnap came around the corner, a hairbrush in hand as a microphone, pointing at me as he began to lipsync to the song. He danced around with it as well, giving me a full performance. I snickered behind my mug, watching him with a grin. He wrapped his arms around my waist, singing to me now.  “If you're feelin' down, I just wanna make you happier, baby,” he held me close by the waist, moving around with me. I set my mug down after I took another sip, grabbing onto his forearms. I grinned quietly, “What are you doing?” He just shook his head, grabbing my hands and spinning me around as he continued to sing. “Now you're in my life, I can't get you off my mind,” he kissed the top of my forehead as he finished the line, and I just laughed, grinning with him. By the start of the next verse, he had me performing with him, singing to him as he continued to dance around with me. We may not have gotten our perfect welcome, but I wouldn’t trade the moments like these for all the stars in the sky. 

Once the song came to a close, and we sang the final lines to each other, he wrapped an arm back around my waist, his other hand coming up to cup my cheek as he leaned in, giving me a soft and loving kiss. We only pulled apart when we absolutely had to, and our foreheads gently pressed together as neither of us wanted to separate for long. 

“What was that for?” I questioned softly, looking up at him once we did finally pull apart. 

He shrugged, giving me a goofy smile, “I couldn’t stand seeing you upset. You mentioned liking that song, so I wanted to cheer you up.” He lightly ran his hand over my cheek, gently rubbing under my eyes where tears had been mere moments before, “Couldn’t stand not seeing your gorgeous smile.” 

A rose-flush dusted my cheeks as I grinned at him softly. “Well, it definitely worked,” I lightly pecked his lips, “so thank you.”

He grinned softly, “Anything for my darlin’.” He moved his hands down, lightly tapping my thigh. I jumped up, and he held me tightly around his waist. He moved one hand up to gently rub my back, walking to the couch. 

“You know,” he started, looking down at the couch, “you mentioned how you’ve been really missing me.” 

I nodded softly, prompting him to continue. 

“Well, I’ve been really missing you, too. And well, if you’d want to…” he took a deep breath, “we have the space here. And I’d love for you to move in.”

My heart felt so full of love I felt as though I would burst. I wanted to say yes, however…

“I’d love that, but I just – I don’t want to overstep. This is yours and Dream’s place, and George is supposing to be moving in soon, I just – I want this to be yours and the boy’s space, I don’t want to affect anything.” In my exhaustion, I seemed to ramble a bit. I really did want to live with Sapnap. But just because Sap was okay with it didn’t mean the other two were, so I’d make excuses to keep his home life calm if I had to, “plus, I have issues with work. I’ve been saving to move down here, but I still haven’t actually found a job yet, so I can’t just leave.” 

He hummed, pulling me in closer to his chest. “Well, I can actually solve those problems right now.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “this idea of mine isn’t exactly…new.” He paused for a moment, thinking to himself. He stood up again, still holding me, and he walked me upstairs to the room next to his, “This room was originally just going to be set up for storage, but,” he set me down before opening the door, and I looked around quietly. It felt like home immediately. A simple layout, just a bed, desk, nightstand, and chest of drawers, and the walls were decorated only slightly, small things including a polaroid from our second date. 

I walked around a bit, “What’s- I don’t,” 

“This is what I’ve been working on since you left. I talked to the boys already, and they both agreed that they’d be okay with you moving in. And I have no doubts, I know you’re my forever. So I’ve been setting this up – your own space, just so you can still have your privacy and if you need alone time and everything. And I did the math, since you wouldn’t have to worry about rent, you’d have enough saved up to be set. I mean, Dream makes enough for the all of us at this point, so you know,” he shrugged a bit, looking shyly across the room to avoid making eye contact. 

I turned back to him, moving as quick as I could into his arms, practically tackling him onto the bed. I nodded quickly, “Okay. Yeah. I- I’d love to,” I grinned at him. He perked up, grinning back at me, “Really? You’re serious?”

I nodded again, a wide grin covering my face. 

He picked me up, spinning me around in his arms and whooping loudly. “Hell yeah! Let’s fucking go!” He laughed happily, holding me tightly and pulling me in for a strong, loving kiss after. 

I kissed him back happily, softly laughing along with him. There was nothing but warmth in my chest. Thirty minutes with the love of my life seemed to wipe clear the 18 previous hours of hell. He kept a hand on my cheek, grinning happily. 

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. And live with you. We can do so many things! We could go grocery shopping together! Or go get Ikea furniture!” He laughed happily, grinning at me, “we could get up to so much stuff.” 

“So much stuff?” I questioned with a grin.

“Shenanigans. All of them. We could prank Dream. We could scare George, he gets really jumpy, especially at night. And we could do other stuff,” he grinned, reaching a hand down to grab my butt.

I laughed, smiling lovingly at him, “We’ll definitely get up to ‘other stuff’. I know how needy you get when I leave for home.”

He kissed my cheek, “I just can’t help it. I love my baby,” he kissed my other cheek, “you know, we could get up to other stuff in Dr-”

“If you are about to suggest we fuck in Dream’s room, I’m taking a flight back home.”

He quickly closed his mouth. 

“Wow, I’m already liking this one more than you as a roommate, Sap,” Dream spoke up, standing in the doorway of what was now my room. 

“Hey, shut up,” Sapnap threw a pillow at his roommate, “What are you doing up?’

Dream shrugged, “I wasn’t asleep for long. I was editing a video til about three. Then I got woken up by some… music,” he gave Sapnap a look, and Sapnap just shrugged. 

“Hey, I had a very important job to do. My darlin’ needed cheering up.” 

Dream just nodded in understanding, “I’m gonna assume you said yes to the whole moving-in thing?” I just nodded up at him.

“Thank god, Sapnap’s been annoying us for months talking about it,” he pitched his voice up, mimicking Sapnap, “Dream, do you think it looks nice? George, what if it goes wrong? What if-”

“Okat, shut up now, good night, Dream.”

Dream rolled his eyes, “Good night, love birds. No fucking too loud. Use protection, Sapnap can’t be trusted to raise a kid yet.”

I snorted a bit, rolling my eyes,  “Good night, droommate.” 

He glared at me a bit, looking between me and Sapnap. “Oh, god, there’s two of you now.” He huffed out quietly, just shaking his head and turning around. 

I looked up at Sapnap, and we both just laughed. 

We spent the next two hours, sitting in bed and talking and planning our life together. When I finally felt the exhaustion taking over, and I finally fell asleep, it was closing in on seven A.M., and the sun was rising. But neither of us cared, more focused on the look in each other’s eyes as we fell asleep with late night “i love yous”.

#sapnap x reader #sapnap #mcytumblr #mcyt x reader #mcyt #dream smp #dream smp x reader #sapnap my beloved #fluff #no use of y/n #harry styles #thank you for this song harry its so fun #dream #dreamwastaken #bad pun i am so sorry #mar writes

[heliosoll]

hi jay, i hope this doesn't come off as weird or rude bc i don't intend to be at all. but how did you shift despite allll the misinformation about shifting and the lack of success stories or the fake ones or people saying that shifting is lucid dreaming... especially on reddit and tiktok. and most shifters usually follow law of attraction and stuff like that even the successful shifters i see on here follow it and believe in shit like "divine timing" or whatever. it stresses me out bc i'm on a time crunch tbh and i don't wanna shift in 2 years or smth. how did you start following law of assumption and applying it to shifting when there isn't much information about that kind of stuff? honestly that confidence is admirable imo asdkjfls it's a bit hard for me because i tend to rely on validation from outside of myself and i find myself believing in shifting one day and the next day i don't which is ridiculous. do you just naturally develop confidence after you shift for the first time and realize it's real? i feel so dumb bc i believe in revision and i manifested stuff before but the problem is what i did was all logical stuff that came to me in logical ways :( it's very important to me bc my life here is really bad to say the least and i want to permashift and just start fresh. i would appreciate any input you have or anything you have to say even if harsh. thanks

Hi!

Babe, I completely understand how you're feeling. That's literally exactly how I felt when I first discovered shifting. I've always believed in the idea of a multiverse so for me, shifting seemed quite natural. I also considered myself somewhat spiritual at the time so I didn't mind not knowing the exact science behind it. I actually didn't apply the law to shifting at first since I discovered manifesting years after shifting. So, unfortunately, I can't quite help you there.

Anyway, I shifted the first time through spite. I was fed up with "failing" and decided to just stop giving a shit about all my doubts and fears. I decided that night that I was going to shift no matter what and that I wasn't going to accept anything else. And that's how I shifted. Things like misinformation can hinder you but they can't stop you.

When I first got into shifting, I had a hard time believing it. Honestly, I feel like that feeling, if you're a very logical person, doesn't fully go away until you shift for the first time. That's why it can help to apply logic to it until you do. I know everyone in the loa community is very adamant about not applying logic, and for good reason, but I find that it can actually really help your doubts and overall anxieties about it. I think you should research quantum theory! And pretty much every other scientific theory that supports shifting. Trust me, if you're as logical as I was, it'll help you feel better.

When it comes to the time crunch, remember that time is manmade. Even from a logical standpoint, I'm sure you can understand why I'm saying that. Try not to think of the time crunch in a pressuring way! You can think of it as a positive goal or not at all if that's easier. Just try to take the pressure and anxiety of it away. It can help some shifters but oftentimes it can make you feel worse if you pressure yourself to shift by a certain time.

You've already consciously manifested which is great! It doesn't matter how things got to you, even if it was in a logical way. What matters is that you did it! Try to apply that feeling to shifting. It doesn't matter how you think of it or how you do it, what matters is letting yourself do it. One thing that can be hard to hear, but is important nonetheless, is that the only thing that can stop you from shifting is yourself. No other power in this universe can hold you back. You need to let yourself shift. You need to be okay with thinking about it logically or being okay with not knowing exactly how it works. You need to let go of that fear, of that pressure, of all the "what-ifs", and just let yourself shift. Like I know it can suck to hear but literally just do it. You can. No matter what your mindset is, no matter how many doubts you have, you can still shift. You just have to let yourself do it.

I believe in you babe!!! You got this!!!

#letters 🎀 #i know it can be hard but try to stop caring so much about what others say #who cares if others dont believe? and who cares if some stories are fake? that doesnt stop you from shifting #Nothing can stop you from shifting

[vidrwoods]

10th Feb, 2023

Dear V,

Do you know what's worse than breaking up? Getting over someone you never actually dated. Getting over someone who you know you shouldn't like this much because of the amount of times he stood you up and made you feel unworthy when you don't fucking deserve it. Most of all, what hurts is the fact that he never cared enough about me to make it official. He did not respect my time, my emotions, and my energy. Every time he would message me, the dopamine would hit. It would stay until a day or two after our 'perfect' evening together. Then the roller-coaster ride would become less fun with its unpredictable ups and downs until I get sick with emotion and dizzy with confusion.

Friends keep telling me to tell him - to get closure. What is closure really? Is this not closure enough that he tells me that he'll come by for lunch the next day and doesn't even message to cancel? Is it not closure that this wasn't the first time? That he did not compliment me even once on any of our dates even though I complimented him? That he sits a mile away most times we go out? That he chose to sit with A in the background when I texted him that I wanted to tell him something? That he wants to plan something with me AND my friends? Valentine's on Tuesday and there's been no plans made. There have been zero messages between our dates that happen once a month. More than half of the dates were asked/planned by me. All in all, there has been no flirting and no chasing on his part. There's been no kissing and no hand holding after that night in the club. He's always done just enough to keep me from falling out of this half-a-year habit of going out and doing something and being someone. Just enough so I looked through the world through rose tinted glasses and kept romanticizing everything so it all seemed perfect and cute. But in reality - I'm being disrespected. And not only by him, by myself as well.

And yeah the talks and the 'dates' were amazing. But the last one felt like we were talking about the same old things. It's perhaps not as amazing as I think it is. And venting out to friends is getting too much for me. I feel guilty, and it seems like they'll get tired of it as well. So, I'll keep my mouth shut in front of people and vent out to you. I think this is helping. I feel like sobbing tbh, but lately I haven't been able to cry. I feel like I'm stuck on the brim and it's really uncomfortable.

I think another reason why I'm this emotional is because my friend-group dynamic has changed again. The girls are fun, but the topics of our conversations are always sad and serious. The guys have started to hang out in their own little group, and I don't think I find clubbing/gaming/spending 700kr every Friday a fun enough option to keep in touch with them. But it's not too bad. I'll have to make time for them once I get out of this depressed mood. This part can be managed. And masters is coming closer so I'll probably meet quite a lot of potential friends soon. Classes are going amazingly this semester. I'm doing well at my courses. I got a job. I'm doing amazing at work. I'm hitting the gym fairly regularly. All in all, I have a good life right now.

There's just one problem. And sadly, it's not a disappearing problem. I've come to realize that it's something much worse - it's a disappearing and reappearing problem. What do I do about this? Well let's figure it out together.

Step 1 : Admit to myself that this thing is not sustainable. Stop thinking about what ifs. What's more important is to make sure that I don't lower my standards to make room a guy who is treating me horribly. Cause that it what this is - horrible treatment. Stop making excuses for him - it really isn't that difficult to pick up the phone and message a girl.

Step 2 : Promise to myself that I won't fall for him again and that I won't go out with him again. This will be difficult to do. Again with all the day-dreams and what ifs. But I promise. I fucking owe myself this. Holy shit this will be difficult. But I promise.

Also, no thinking about how to play games and get him jealous and have him make out...ehhh... Basically, a clean break. But yes, let's find someone for the hot make out part.

Step 3 : Figure out what to do/say if he asks me again. This is the most confusing part. I don't want to hurt his feelings and just completely disregard him. But at the same time, I don't want to exaggerate my own feelings/ over explain myself when I tell him that we should just be friends. Or that I want space. Or do I even need to say anything? But I need to have this step ready otherwise I won't spit it out right/on time and it won't be enough.

Step 4 : I've heard that focusing on yourself works very well to get over a guy. So... I'll get my nails done. I'll get my hair cut. Wax my arms and legs. Imma hit the gym and finish getting that perfect tone. Maybe a bit of shopping will also be nice. Also, gotta get some certifications in, and have to apply for that mentorship. Hm, guys do work as great motivation man. I feel amazing right now. Seriously - I'm waay hotter and smarter and more successful than him. Yes, he is amazing, but I'm more amazing.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Been reading a few things about emotionally unstable parents and it opened me a new world tbh. I realized that the random burst of anger I feel originates from them being able to do what they want (e.g. yelling) and me not being allowed (in fact, I often tend to speak with a low tone of voice). But this is intergenerational trauma, cause my grandma always told my mother to not yell cause "Others would hear and what would they think?!". Nothing. The answer is nothing. And anyway, it's not your business what they would think. It's life. It happens in every family to yell (especially in our culture).

But this is not the only reaction I developed from them: having to deal with their anger and control issues made me grow up feeling unsafe at my core. I often woke up listening to them yelling, even at me behind my back (or saying that they didn't care if they were waking me up like that, if one was yelling for some random useless stuff). When it wasn't so, my first reaction after opening my eyes has often been trying to understand the mood in which they were (even unconsciously) just to see if it was safe to get out or not. I often desired to run away or hide under a table, or pretended to stay longer in bed (even if that would have made things worse) to escape their yellings. To try to make them feel happy and proud I studied a lot, so they could cheer on my grades. I had to be the best to make them happy (but I am the only one I have to make happy and be better/the best for). I sometimes got criticized for my character (who knows why I am like this, uh?), felt like they didn't care much about me and my feelings, or what I had to say (many times I got interrupted, talked over or yelled at if I tried to make a joke cause they were totally thinking about something else and didn't mind understanding me; even more often they forgot about what I told them about me and my likes). I even occasionally took the blame (but tbh, I also got blamed by them) for things I haven't done. I also had to renounce to experience many things my friends invited me to (so that they even stopped ofc): half because of the unsafety my parents made me feel and half because of their highly controlling reactions. They kept me caged in, and I couldn't do anything else than acknowledge the cage and actually help them build it cause "They are my parents, they know what's better for me". And doing what they wanted (or what I thought they wanted me to do) would have made them happy and avoided me hearing their yells and anger outburst: renouncing to things I wanted to do, despite having regrets inside myself and making me feel kinda alone sometimes, felt better anyway... when I didn't decide to do things behind their back or making up excuses they couldn't oppose to. Yeah, I ended up lying to them (which they used to do, especially in my mother's family side, despite teaching me is wrong doing so).

Growing up like this, I ended up feeling usafe, not good enough, not able to go after my dreams at full or that I cannot get any job I want, that I should stay in the middle ground, in this limbo, where I belong because that's what I deserve. And ofc that I am not lovable by anyone. But that's not the reality of things. This is just what I have had to learn to survive, to find some safety in a comfort zone I buildt myself. But surviving is not what we're here to do. We're here to live our own life. To know our real self, to break the comfort zone, and to realize ourselves. To learn it's safe out there, and we're more than enough for whatever we want to do. And we're actually very lovable, especially by the right people. The moment we break this cage, these chains, we will find our road and our new friends.

#my story #words #healing #positivity #self love #healingjourney #focus on the positive #love yourself #self care #self healing #self discovery #self worth #self growth #emotional growth #emotions #parents #caregivers #relationships #childhood trauma #childhood #trauma #anxiety #emotionally unstable parents #yelling #intergenerational trauma #recovery #thoughts #healing process #mental health #family issues

[fatmclassic]

Dance fever

So I’ve had a bit more time with this and it’s growing on me more and more. I was worried about Antonoff producing and thought we might have been in for another ‘Solar Power’ snoozefest but thankfully that is not the case.

I saw someone say this is an album made for lost women struggling with mental health and big decisions in their late 20′s and 30′s and that’s what I’ve felt since King was released and this album confirms that feeling.

I can see throwbacks to earlier albums, which makes sense as has been claimed that this album is poking a bit of fun at her more melodramatic days. Restraint seems to be a jab at all the critics who kept wanting her to reel it in and strip back, which she did in HAH, and now she’s done with that. For the most part.

The album feels very scattered to me. King seems more like a mid track then an opener, I think Choreomania fits better there. Having ‘Back in town’ and ‘Girls against God’ back to back seems an odd choice because these are both slow almost plodding songs and it feels like they are dragging everything down.

HAH seems to fit quite well where it is and I appreciate it a bit more now. The other 2 short tracks are good, but feel like teases. Prayer factory especially, feels like it’s about to get going and then it’s done.

A nice mix of the confessional/grounded lyrics and the more mythical, religious fantasy lyrics. She seems a lot more angry this time around. Some of the spoken word parts are a bit strange, but it’s not something I expect from her so maybe that’s why. But it works well on Cassandra, less so on choreomania. The lyric ‘I listen to music from 2006 and feel kind of sick’ stands out as a bit of a clunker. Replaces ‘green is so green’ from HAH as the worst FATM lyric imo.

The most ‘Florencey’ tracks are my favourites here, Daffodil, Cassandra, Dream girl evil and choreomania. Yeah it’s retreading old ground for the most part and they could have felt at home on any of the first 3 albums, but nobody does that huge belting sound better than her. And I was sorely missing it after HAH. I like how fucking seething she is in DGE. 

The only song I’m really not liking still, and probably never will, is Back in town. I may just remove this dud from my playlist. I rag on Caught and Between two lungs but this is worse tbh. There just isn’t much going on here. Might be the first FATM song I actually hate. 

Girls against god is reminding me of solar power the more I listen and that’s not a good thing. This is the most ‘Antonoff’ song imo and I can picture Lorde singing this on that fucking beach she’s always on these days. And the laughing is a bit weird

The bomb has grown on me a little bit, sounds like something that could be on HBHBHB. Very light. This is like Breaking down or I’m not calling you a liar, in that it’s ok, but it’s never going to be a favourite. I feel bad not liking this more cos rob helped write it.

My love and free are the most commercial songs here. Catchy electropop. My love is the one I prefer, free feels a bit clunky lyric wise. And my love is more dancable musically. Plus it had the better video.

Morning elvis is one I didn’t feel to bothered with at first. But I got my headphones and appreciate it more now. The choir vocals in the background make this song for me. It’s quite a personal song again. Her speaking accent comes through in this song a few times. Another one that could fit on HBHBHB

Some of the production is bugging me. Like Choreomania seems like it should be much bigger then it ends up being, but feels a bit flat. Like the end with ‘somethings coming’ being repeated, that just doesn’t feel right. That is her ‘Hounds of love’ moment right there and it doesn’t quite get to the heights it should. And same with the bomb and morning elvis, she is getting drowned out by the music. It’s the same problem I had with 100 years on HAH.

I love the whole aesthetic so far, the self parody thing. Like florence saw all the ‘feral fae nymph goblin siren renaissance witchy forest’ FATM vibe posts and just gave us that. The free video seems a bit out of place though. A lot better then what HAH had, which wasn't much of anything, there didn’t seem to be as much of a running theme with that album. 

Bit pissed off with the deluxe just being acoustics and a cover though. A scrapped song was mentioned in an interview, could that not have gone here? I did have a slight hope that with all the fanservice there seemed to be here that we’d  finally get paper massacre but that was very optimistic I admit.

So even though I’ve been a bit less excited about this album for some reason, overall it’s pretty solid. I’m enjoying it and finding more things to like on each listen. It does leave me wanting more though, the short songs don’t help with that and neither does some of the shoddy production. She’s come so far as a songwriter and it shows, she has a lot more to say when compared to Lungs or Ceremonials. And she’s trying some new approaches, like with the spoken diary entries and interludes. There isn’t as many standout tracks here as on her first 3 albums, but I know I’ll be returning this a lot more than HAH. My opinions will probably change with time.

My album ranking so far:

Lungs>HBHBHB>Ceremonials>Dance Fever>HAH

Song list:

King-7/10  Free-6/10 Choreomania-8/10 (would be higher if produced better) Back in town-1/10 Girls against God-4/10 Dream Girl evil-9/10 Prayer factory-6/10(too short) Cassandra-10/10 Heaven is here-7/10 Restraint-5/10 (I like but not much here) Daffodil-8/10 My Love-7/10 The Bomb-6/10 Morning Elvis-7/10

#florence and the machine #fatm #dance fever #fatmclassic

[nakunakunomi]

Falling for you - Daphne (OC) x Nozel Silva

Hiya, this is the first time I am publishing an OC writing here on Tumblr that's not a blurb or headcanons. I am a little nervous about it tbh, but I also had this scene in mind for such a long time... I hope that some of you may enjoy it, even though it is different from my reader insert content.

Basic info on Daphne here if you want an introduction.

OC x Canon, fluff, humor - 1.5k words

As she walked through the halls of the Silver Eagles’ HQ, Daphne felt her heartbeat pick up the pace, feeling her blood preemptively rising to her cheeks. There was no reason for her to get flustered yet, but the very thought of making a fool out of herself in front of their captain again was just too much. 

Nozel Silva never failed to make her nervous. Initially by simply directing his cold stares at him, or asking questions in such a way that she felt dumb by answering, even if she was fully informed about the subject. In the end, she invented most of the things that he was asking questions about. 

Then, it was another kind of nervousness, the kind that came with finally seeing someone who had been occupying your mind for a while, the kind that came with uncomfortable feelings that made you stammer and stutter, that made you want to show your best sides but never allowing you to do so. 

That was how she had been feeling most often lately, and Daphne was sure this crush of hers was not only painfully obvious but also somehow worse than the initial nervousness she had felt the first couple of times she went to interact with the Silver Eagles’ captain. 

Nervousness, easily getting flustered, and some stuttering and stammering were all not that bad. It would be a little embarrassing for the average person not to come across as confident, especially not as a member of the magic knights in some capacity. But Daphne was not an average person when it came to what these feelings did to her. She was already too clumsy to handle on an average day, in Nozel’s presence, she became nothing but a clown show, tripping over nothing more than air, dropping nearly anything she held, she even ran into his door twice before. If she ever wanted to make a good impression on this man, she had to get her act together. She promised herself to do so every time she had to visit the Silver Eagles’ headquarters, focusing really on not making a fool out of herself. And yet, the minute she was actually in Nozel’s presence, all her resolve faded away, and she had to start all over again.

Was it maybe because he had been behaving a little differently around her lately? She couldn’t be sure, to anyone else he seemed just the same. But after some instances where they worked closely together to develop a new magic item, and even some battles, there were some subtle changes Daphne had started to pick up on. The way he initially seemed shocked and annoyed by the numerous ways she accidentally hurt herself, had softened, and he had sounded almost concerned the last few times. Sure, he still had that obvious tone of annoyance in his voice when he asked if she was okay, but he did ask. One time he had even caught her in time to stop her face from colliding with the floor, a moment she had been dreaming about ever since, much to her own embarrassment. 

He seemed more and more interested in her work, no longer making her feel as stupid as he used to be when trying to answer them. Then again, this could all be just because she was initially intimidated by him, and now she was seeing him in an entirely different, rosey cloud-colored, light. 

She took a deep breath before knocking on his door, stating her name and business, and taking a step back. She nearly missed him telling her to come in, his voice faint behind the solid doors, and her heartbeat pounding loudly in her ears, drowning out all other sounds. The delay made her hesitate, and in turn,  those moments of hesitation turned out long enough for Nozel to get a little impatient, opening the door for her the moment she was ready to push it open, effectively pushing forward, stumbling, and nearly falling. Lucky for her, Nozel was standing right at the spot where she would’ve fallen down, his shirt providing her with something to hold onto as she tried not to make a fool out of herself this early on in the meeting. Of course, that mission failed the moment her hands reached out to grab whatever was in front of her to steady herself, but besides a quiet grunt and two hands on her shoulders pushing them back so she was upright again, there came no reaction from the royal in front of her. 

She started stammering out apologies while he walked back to his chair behind his desk, sitting down and gesturing for her to take a seat opposite of him. She kept apologizing as she walked over, glad to be sitting down. At least she could not fall like this.

Her gaze was mainly focused on her lap, trying to avoid his stare and desperately trying to hide just how red she was. There was no mirror to check it herself, but she was feeling her cheeks burn up so bad that she was sure she could make the average tomato jealous. 

He was nice enough to pretend he didn’t notice. Nozel had been noticing her getting more and more clumsy the more meetings they had. Especially the last few weeks, as they had met up multiple times in a short span of time to design some magic items specifically attuned to his mercury magic. He was observant enough to notice her stammering and stuttering more, in spite of having no reason to be insecure about anything. She knew what she was talking about, and the items she was designing were coming along nicely, they would prove him useful in battle. 

He was pretty sure the insecurities had to stem from somewhere else, the only logical explanation was that it was him that caused it, and that realization made him feel a certain type of way. Nozel was no stranger to having admirers, he was a royal and a magic knight captain after all, but usually, those people went differently about their admiration for him, being very vocal and -in his opinion- annoying about it. There was something different about the way she seemed to be desperately repressing her feelings, even at the cost of her dignity, that annoyed him in a different way. Like he almost wanted her to stop and be vocal about it, so he could dismiss her like he always did when he encountered people like that. 

But then again, there had been a little voice in the back of his mind that made him not want to do that at all. There was a part of him that thought he wouldn’t necessarily mind her attention in that way, no matter how this seemed like an extremely unlikely match, rationally speaking. 

He felt strangely protective over her, finding himself more and more often cursing himself for not preventing any more of her accidents, especially since he seemed to be the cause of the worst of them. He was falling for her as she had fallen for him, and he had yet to come to terms with it. 

Instead, he nodded along as she spoke, waiting patiently as she wrote down his remarks for things to alter or upgrade about the device. She got more in her element and seemed to calm down with this task to focus on, while he seemed to get more and more distracted every passing second. 

When she was finally done, dropping her notepad the second she got up to leave, he moved automatically, leading her across the room with a hand on her back. The gesture was way more intimate than any kind of physical contact they had had before -nearly none-, and the mere feeling of the hand on her back sent a jolt of electricity straight to her heart. She got uncharacteristically silent, and he didn’t speak either. It was only seconds before they reached the door, but in those seconds, something had fundamentally changed.  

She stepped forward, very consciously, focusing all her energy on keeping her composure, saluting and looking him straight in the eye, cheeks burning bright red. The reflection in her glasses made Nozel realize that he himself had a slight pink hue on his cheeks as well, which he hid by clearing his throat and looking away while he sent her off. 

Next time would be different, undeniably so. But how? 

#Black clover #black clover OC #naku no OC #OC content #black clover x OC #canon x OC #nozel x OC #Nozel silva x oc #nozel x daphne #nozel silva x daphne

[teadocs]

med you mentioned rewriting jordan’s post-show life entirely? what is her life after like then?

Sooooo originally when I first made her, I kinda wrote out this whole plan for her. She was going to be on the show, then go to med school for a few years, then be a doctor. She was going to start dating Darren while she was still in school, and the two were going to get married right after she graduated. Basically she was going to totally settle down and follow her life plan to a tee. But then I began writing more for Jordan.

Suddenly this story I wrote for her felt wrong. She goes through season after season of hell on the show. She’s the bad guy then she’s the good guy then she’s even worse than she was before. I kept trying to write her so that she’d eventually go towards this original life I had intended for her, but it felt so wrong. She basically loses five years of her life to the show, and then to have her settle down right afterwards?? It felt like she didn’t really get to live her life at all.

So where does that leave us?

Well tbh, I don’t really know yet. I’m kinda watching where her character goes, and I have a few ideas! Right now I’m playing around with her maybe becoming a small musician after the last season since that was kinda her childhood dream from day 1. Alex and I are chatting about how Jordan and Seth get back together after season 5, and we’ve mentioned the idea of Jordan first reaching out and asking if he still is into making music and stuff. Really I just want to make sure that she gets some time to live a life that’s fulfilling to her!

Honestly though it just goes to show how cool it is to watch characters evolve. Getting to write them alongside some of my favourite creatives has been my fav part of this whole experience, and I think that’s definitely how Jordan’s grown so much!

#answered by Med #jordan jones #sorry this was SUPER roundabout and I ramble so much when it comes to her #but yeah the tl;dr is that we’re still figuring it out! #also this is my first time trying to add a read more from mobile idk if it’s gonna work #ask #anon #anonymous

[longingforthecosmos]

The tags about your dream?🥺

Oh man ok so the weirdest thing about the dream was that I lived the whole life through the dream and I had all of these life experiences and stuff but all I can remember now is what I remembered at the end when I had the dementia which is just. It’s like snapshots I guess?

the first one I remember is lovingly watching a video of a ~25 year old woman who looks nothing like me but I distinctly recognised as “myself” in the dream walking up the beach away from the tide toward the camera while holding hands with a man who I recognised as my fiancé at the time and the audio was just the sound of the waves in the background but he turned to me and whispered something and then we both laughed and started dancing with each other and sort of jumping about

and then I just remember another girl who like. real me has never seen but dream me recognised as my daughter and I don’t know where we were but I remember she was crying and I wanted her to stop so I told her that I loved her so much and it made her cry worse and I felt so guilty

and after that I can only remember being in a hospital bed and turning toward that same daughter who was much older then and telling her that I know I should remember her and I know that somewhere in my head I did because seeing her look so sad devastated me but explaining that even if I didn’t know her then that I was so sorry I ever hurt her the way I was in that moment :( and then I woke up crying harder than I can remember crying for a very long time.

I drew the daughter a couple days after and while I can’t actually remember her wedding I know like. instinctively that this is her at her wedding

I can’t look at this picture for too long without crying lmao

But yeah that’s the dream! Super fucked 👍 shit got me grieving still. I think it’s the fact that I can’t apologise for leaving her is what’s currently fucking me up tbh lol