#but still. the stigma is still there. people don’t want their straight male characters to seem gay so they avoid affection. it’s ridiculous

[intersexbookclub]

Discussion summary: Left Hand of Darkness

Published in 1969, The Left Hand of Darkness is a classic in science fiction that explores issues of sex/gender in an alien-yet-human society where the aliens are just like us except in how they reproduce. These aliens, the Gethenians, can reproduce as either male or female. They spend most of their lives sexually undifferentiated. Once a month, they go into heat (“kemmer”) and their sexual organs activate as either male or female (it’s essentially random).

Here's a summary of the discussions we had on 2023-08-25 and 2023-09-01 about the book:

HIGH LEVEL REACTONS

Michelle (@scifimagpie): even though it was written by a cis straight perisex woman there is a queerness to the writing that feels true and that she nailed. There is a queerness to the soul of this book that still holds up, that's true and good, and I cannot but love and respect that.

Elizabeth (@ipso-faculty): this book is such a commentary on 1960s misogyny. Genly is a raging misogynist. It takes a whole prison break and crossing the arctic for Genly to realize a woman or androgyne can be competent 👀

Dimitri: [Having read just the first half of the book] I wonder if it keeps happening, if Genly keeps going "woaaaah" [to the Gethenians’ androgyny] or if he ever acclimates. It's been half the novel my guy

vic: yeah a book where a guy is destroyed by seeing a breast makes me want queer theory

vic: [it also] makes me feel good to see how much has changed [since the 1960s]

THE INTERSEX STUFF

A thing we appreciated about the book was how being intersex is contextual. The main character of the book, Genly Ai, is a human from a planet like Earth, who visits Gethen to open trade and diplomatic relations.

On his home planet, and to Earth sensibilities, Genly is perisex - he is able to reproduce at any time of the month and is consistently male.

But on Gethen, Genly becomes intersex. On Gethen, the norm is that you only manifest (and can reproduce as) a given sex during the monthly kemmer (heat/oestrus) period. 

The Gethenians understand Genly as living in “permanent kemmer”, which is described as a common (intersex) condition, and these people are hyper-sexualized and referred to as Perverts.

At this point it’s worth noting that depiction is not the same as endorsement. Michelle pointed out the book is very empathetic to those in permanent kemmer. LeGuin does not appear to be endorsing the social stigma faced by these people, merely depicting it, and putting a mirror to how our own society treats intersex people.

Throughout the book, Genly is treated as an oddity by the Gethenians. He is hyper sexualized. He undergoes a genital inspection to prove he is who he says he is. 

When Genly is sent to a prison camp and forcibly given HRT, he does not respond “normally” to the hormones, the effects are way worse for him, and the prison camp staff don’t care, and keep administering them even if it’ll kill him. 

Two of us have had the experience of having hyperandrogenism and being forced onto birth control as teenager, and relating to the sluggishness of the drugs that Genly experienced, as well as the sense that gender/sex conformity was more important to authority figures (parents, doctors) than actual health and well-being.

Another scene we discussed the one where Genly is in a prison van en route to the gulag, and a Gethenian enters kemmer and wants to mate with him and he declines. He is given multiple opportunities over the course of the book to try having sex with a Gethenian, and declines every time, and we wondered if he avoided it out of trauma of being hyper-sexualized & hyper-medicalized & having had his genitals inspected.

We discussed the way he described his genital inspection through a trauma lens, and how it interacts with toxic masculinity - in vic’s terms, Genly being "I am a manly man and I have don't trauma"

Those of us who read the short story, Coming of Age in Karhide, noted that once the world was narrated from a Gethenian POV, the people in permanent kemmer were treated far more neutrally, which gave us the impression that Genly as an unreliable narrator was injecting some intersexism along with his misogyny

WHY IT MATTERS TO READ THIS BOOK THROUGH AN INTERSEX LENS

Elizabeth: I’ve encountered critiques of this book from perisex trans folks because to them the book is committing biological essentialism, and dismissing the book as a result. I think they’re missing that this book is as much about (inter)sex as it is about gender. I think they’re too quick to dismiss the book as being outdated or having backwards ideas because they’re not appreciating the intersex themes. 

Elizabeth: The intersex themes aren’t exactly subtle, so it kind of stings that I haven’t seen any intersex analyses of this book, but there are dozens (hundreds?) of perisex trans analyses that all miss the huge intersex elephants in the room.

Also Elizabeth: I’ve seen this book show up in lists of intersex books/characters made by perisex people, and I’ve seen Estraven listed as intersex character, and it gets me upset because Estraven isn’t intersex! Estraven is perisex in the society in which he lives. Genly is the intersex character in this story and people who misunderstand intersex as being able to reproduce as male & female (or having quirky genitals smh) are completely missing that being intersex is socially constructed and based on what is considered typical for a given species.

WHAT THE BOOK DOESN’T HANDLE WELL

The body descriptions. As Dmitri put it: “ Like "his butt jiggled and it reminded  me of women" ew. It was intentional but I had to put the book down. It reminded me of transvestigators and how they take pictures of people in public.” 🤮

Not pushing Genly to reflect on how weird he is about other people’s bodies. We all had issues with how Genly is constantly scrutinizing the bodies of other humans to assess their gender(s) and it’s pretty gross.

vic asked: “how much of this is her reproducing violence without her knowing it? A thing I didn't like was how he always judging and analyzing people's bodies and realizing others treat him that way. And I wish there was more of his discomfort about this, that it made him feel icky.”

Dimitri added: “I really wanted him to have a moment of this too, for him to realize how much it sucks to be treated this way. As a trans person it's so uncomfortable. What are you doing going around doing this to people?”

Using male pronouns as default/ungendered pronouns. Élaina asked why Genly thinks a male pronoun is more appropriate for a transcendent God and pointed out there’s a lot to unpack there.

OTHER POSITIVES ABOUT THE BOOK

Genly’s journey towards respecting women, that he still had a ways to go by the end of the book. vic pointed out how “LeGuin was straight, and she loves men, and is kinda giving them the side-eye [in this book]. Her writing about how Genly is childish makes me really happy. It’s kind of hilarious to watch him bang his head against the wall because he’s so rigid.” 

To which Dmitri added: “I agree with the bit on forgiving men for stuff. I don't know how she [LeGuin] does it but she really lays it all out. She gives you a platter of how men are bad at things, how they make mistakes that are pretty specific to them. She has prepared a buffet of it.”

Autistic Estraven! As Michelle put it: “autistic queer feels about Estraven speaking literally and plainly and Genly not getting it”

The truck chapter. Hits like a pile of bricks. We talked about it as a metaphor for the current pandemic.

The Genly x Estraven slowburn queerplatonic relationship

The conlang! Less is more in how it gets used

MIXED REACTIONS

The Foretelling. For some it felt unnecessary and a bit fetishy. For others it was fun paranormal times.

Pacing. Some liked how the book really forces you to really contemplate as you go. Others struggled with a pace that feels very slow to 2023 readers.

WORKS WE COMPARED THE BOOK TO

Star Trek (the original series) - we wondered if LHOD and Genly Ai were progressive by 1960s standards, and TOS came up as a comparison point. We were all of the impression that TOS was progressive for its time but all of us find it pretty misogynist by our standards. The interest in extra-sensory perception (ESP) is something that was a staple of TOS that feels very strange to contemporary viewers and also cropped up in LHOD

Ancillary Justice - for being a book where characters’ genders are all ambiguous but the POV character is actually normal about how they describe other characters’ bodies.

The Deep - for being another book in a situation where being able to reproduce as male and female is the norm. The Deep was written by an actually intersex author, and doesn’t have the cisperisex gaze of scrutinizing every body for sex. But oddly LHOD actually winds up feeling more like a book about intersex people, because it features a character who is the odd one out in a gonosynic society. In contrast, nobody is intersex in the Deep - everybody matches the norms for their species, which makes the intersex themes in the work much more subtle.

Overall, as vic put it, “there's something to be said about an honest depiction that's not great, especially when there's no alternatives”. For a long time there weren’t many other games in town when it came to this sort of book, and even though some things now feel dated, it’s still a valuable read. We’d love to see more intersex reviews & analyses of the book!

#intersex book club #book summaries #book reviews #left hand of darkness #the left hand of darkness #ursula k. le guin #intersex books #intersex literature #queer books #queer literature #queer fiction #queer scifi #intersex

[physalian]

10 More Character Types the World Needs More of

Part 1 was specifically character dynamics, but I’m considering this a sequel anyway.

1. Fiercely independent character’s lesson isn’t to “trust people”

I’m not projecting. You’re projecting. There is a divide wide enough to fit the Grand Canyon between “trusting that someone isn’t lying” and “trusting someone to follow through on a promise”. Most dumpster fire attempts at these characters (almost exclusively women) rely solely on mocking them for the former because “not all men” or something.

Being consistently let down in life makes you hesitant to a) gain friends, b) pursue romantic interests, c) maintain familial relationships, d) get excited about any event that demands participation from someone who isn’t you. None of this is simply a bad attitude—it’s a trauma response. There is no lesson to be learned, and not even exposure therapy can help because it’s a real, legitimate, and common stunt people pull, whether they mean it or not.

So write one of these characters and legitimize their fears, give them someone who proves the exception to the rule, but do not let the lesson be “well they just haven’t found the right person yet”. Even the “right person” can let them down. It's about not becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy by sabotaging a good thing to prove it will inevitably go bad.

2. Conventionally attractive men who aren’t horndogs

I’m going to find every way I can to tell you to write more aces. This is to fight the stigma that attractive people must be attracted to people. Give me gorgeous aces and demi’s, men, women, enbys and everyone in between, who put a crap ton of effort into looking their best, and yet happen to not have a very loud libido. They look good for themselves, and not to impress anyone else.

Give me someone who could have anyone they wanted, gender regardless, and just simply has no interest. Or, they do actually have a significant other, but sex, how hot their partner is, or how horny they are, isn’t their internal monologue. I don’t even care if it’s unrealistic, it’s annoying to read.

And, you know, giving men male characters who aren’t thinking about sex all the time can be good, right? Right?

3. Manly warrior men who also write poetry

A.K.A Aragorn, Son of Arathorn. Just give me more Aragorns, period. This dude is either covered in filth, blood, guts, and the last 30 miles of rugged terrain, or singing in Elvish at his own coronation while pink flower petals fall. A man can be both, and still be straight.

A man can also drink Respect Women juice, you know? He ticks off all the boxes—he’s gentle when he needs to be, not afraid to hide his emotions, kind to those who are vulnerable and afraid and need a strong figure to look up to, resolute in his beliefs, skilled and knowledgeable in his abilities without being arrogant or smug, and the first boots on the battlefield, leading from the front.

4. Characters who are characters when no one is watching

This is less a specific type and more a scene that doesn’t get written enough. This whole point comes from Pixar’s Cars. I. Love. This. Movie. It’s not Pixar’s best, for sure, but this is my comfort movie. The best scene, one that’s so unique, is when Doc (aged living legend) thinks he’s alone when he rolls out onto the dirt race track and comes alive tearing around the oval.

This character’s unbridled, unabashed glee and euphoria at proving to himself that he’s still got it, when he’s completely unaware of his audience, is perfection. Not enough credence is given to characters to just… enjoy being themselves. He’s not doing it to prepare for the climactic race, he’s not doing it for the plot, he’s doing it just to do it, not even to prove Lightning wrong—just for himself.

Give your characters a “Doc Racing” scene. Whatever their skill is. Maybe they’re a dancer, a skater, a swimmer, a painter, sprinter. Just let your character love being alive.

5. Characters whose neurodivergence isn't “cute”

A.K.A. Lilo Pelekai from Lilo and Stitch. Really, her relationship with Nani is peak sibling writing. But Lilo herself is just so realistic with how she interacts with the world, how she interprets her relationships with her so-called friends, how she organizes her thoughts and rationalizes what she can’t quite understand, and how friggen smart she is for an… 11-year-old?

But she’s not “cute”. As in, she wasn’t written by generic Suits who were trying to cash in on the ND crowd by writing what they think will sell, but also making her juuust neurotypical enough to still be palatable by the rest of the audience. Lilo’s earnestness is what endears her to everybody. But also, she doesn’t get a free pass for her behavior, either. Her “friends” aren’t forced to accommodate her and Nani isn’t written as the cold-hearted villain for trying to discipline her.

6. Straight male characters with female friends

Am I double-dipping a bit here? Yes. While I completely understand how tempting it can be, this type of character is in dire need of exposure and representation to prove it’s possible. No weird tense moments, no double-glances when she isn’t looking, no contemplations about cheating on his girlfriend (and no insecure jealous girlfriend either). Just two characters who enjoy each other’s company and are able to coexist in a space and be in each other’s spaces without hormones getting in the way. Peak example? Po and Tigress from Kung Fu Panda.

Let these two rely on each other for emotional strength in times of need, let them share inside jokes, let them have a night alone together at a bar, at home, cooking dinner, getting takeout, talking on the patio in a porch swing… with zero “will they/won’t they.”

7. The likable bigot

I’m actually on the fence with this one but it’s something I also don’t see done often enough and I’m adding it for one reason: Bigots aren’t always obvious mustache-twirling villains and the little things they do might seem inconsequential to them, but are still hurtful. So showing these characters is like plopping a mirror down in front of these people and, I don’t know, maybe something will click. They don’t have to be MAGAs to be dangerous, and only writing the extremes convinces the moderates that they aren’t also the problem.

Example: I have a “friend” who recently said something along the lines of “I have lots of gay friends” followed up shortly by “I don’t think this country should keep gay marriage because it’s a slippery slope to legalizing pedophilia.” You know. The quiet part being that she *actually* thinks being gay is as morally abhorrent as being a pedo. But she totally has lots of gay friends. Including one who was driving her during that conversation. (It’s me. Hi. I’m apparently the problem, it’s me.)

She’s absolutely homophobic, but the second she stops announcing it, she’s a very bubbly person. She’s a ~likable~ bigot and thus thinks she can distance herself from the more violent ones.

8. The motherly single father

I say “motherly” merely as shorthand for the vibe I’m going for here. “Motherly” as in dads who aren’t scandalized by the growing pains of their daughters, and who don’t just parent their sons by saying “man up boys don’t cry”. Dads who play Barbie with their kids of either gender. Dads who go to the PTA meetings with all the other Karens and know as much if not more than they do about the school and their kids’ education.

Dads who comfort their crying kids, especially their sons. Dads that take interest in “feminine” activities like learning how to braid their daughter’s hair, learning different makeup brands, going on nail salon trips together. Dads who do not pull out the rifle on their daughter’s new boyfriend and treat her like property. Dads who have guy friends that don’t mock him and call him gay. Dad who does all this stuff anyway and is *actually* gay, too, but the emphasis is on overly sensitive straight men’s masculinity here.

Wholesome dads: a shocking amount of single-parents to female anime protagonists.

9. The parent isn’t dead, they’re just gone

Treasure Planet is an awesome movie in its own right, but what’s even better? This is a Disney movie where the parent isn’t dead, he’s just a deadbeat who abandoned his son and isn’t at all relevant to the plot beyond the hole he left behind for Jim to fill. The only deadbeat dads Disney allows are villains and those guys are very vigorously chasing an aspiration, that aspiration just doesn’t include quality fatherhood. Or motherhood. Disney has yet to write a deadbeat mom, I’m almost certain.

I just wrote a post about the necessity of the “dead parent” cliche, but what is perhaps more relatable because it’s more common, and what earns even more sympathy and underdog points for the protagonist? The hero with the parent who left. Then there’s a whole extra layer of angst and trauma available when your hero can now plague themselves with the question of if the parent leaving is their fault. Death is usually an accident. Choosing to abandon your kid is on purpose.

10. Victim who isn’t victim-blamed or told by their friends (and the narrative) to forgive their abuser

Izuku Midoriya lost so much support from me the moment he told his friend, bearing the consequences of domestic violence across half his face, that Midoriya thinks he’ll be ready soon to forgive his abomination of a father. I am firmly in the “Endeavor is a despicable human and hero” camp and no I’m not taking criticism. I audibly gasped when I heard this line and realized Deku was serious. Todoroki needs friends like the Gaang to remind him that he's allowed to hate the man who's actions caused the burn scar across his f*cking face.

I understand that the mangaka apparently didn’t anticipate the vitriolic backlash toward Endeavor during his debut and reveal of his parenting tactics but the tone-deafness of telling a fifteen year old with crippling emotional management issues and a horrible home life that his abusive dad in any way deserves and is entitled to forgiveness on the grounds of being related is disgusting.

Take it back further to a more famous Tumblr dad: John Winchester. Another despicable human who got retroactively forgiven by his sons after his death in a “he wasn’t so bad, he really did try” campaign. It’s one thing if the character believes it, it’s a whole different matter if the narrative is also pushing this message.

Katara is a perfect example: She lets go of her grudge for her own peace of mind and stops blaming Zuko for something he had no hand in, stops blaming him simply because he’s a firebender and he’s around to be her punching bag. She doesn’t forgive the man who killed her mother, because that man doesn’t deserve her forgiveness. Katara heals in spite of him, not because of him, and had she let him off the hook, she would have gotten an apology for getting caught, not for what he did (which is exactly what happened).

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writing tools #writing a book #writing #writeblr #character design #character development #aragorn #pixar cars #kung fu panda #lilo and stitch #treasure planet #atla #katara #my hero academia

[tea-cat-arts]

Being a haters exhausting. Here’s some things I actually liked in the recent chapters:

Seele and Senti! They are perfect and can do no wrong. They also make a surprisingly good comedic duo

Kiana and Durandal being sisters. This is one of the few times I’m actually really glad Mihoyo went down the no-angst route. I think it would’ve been really easy and cheap to have made Durandal resent Kiana in some way for taking over her life (I’ve seen other media do that), so I found it incredibly refreshing to have Durandal take the mature route, acknowledge none of that was Kiana’s fault, and immediately accept her as her sister.

The environment design. The moon base is a pain to walk through, but an absolute Easter egg hunt of tiny details. It’s also always nice to head back to the deep and saint freya. The project stigma space is also very neat to look at

Kevin and Fu Hua’s conversations. It might just be because they’re two of my favorite characters in the game, but I really found the scenes of these two former friends asking the other to back down or join them while having this silent resignation, knowing that nothing they can say will work, genuinely heartbreaking. Man, I just want my blorbos to be ok 😭

Seeing Siegfried and Theresa hang out. I always kinda forget that those two have been friends for a long time, so it’s nice to actually see that friendship in action (also, hoyo, why do you keep making these very fun to play male characters that are only available for one chapter)

The attempt to make project stigma more nuanced. Though I don’t think they really succeeded, I appreciate them trying to expand project stigma to more than just a shitty vaccine (for those who are still confused about what project stigma does, it takes everyone without an awakened stigmata and puts them in a dream. Those dreams are all slowly merging into the collective consciousness. Once they’re in the consciousness, the original person effectively dies and is reborn into a being like Hare {or at least this is what I’ve gathered}). I think this makes more sense than just straight up killing 90% of the population, and I can kinda get why people would support it or see it as a better alternative to death.

The shift to making Grey Serpent the main antagonist. So uh, past his introduction arc, Kevin just doesn’t make a good antagonist. He’s kinda disconnected from most of the main conflicts and the vast majority of the time we’ve seen him (be it him, his sim, or the Kaslana stigmata), he’s been on the protagonists side. Grey Serpent on the other hand- that guy has pissed EVERYONE off at some point or another. Even Seele is wary around him. I think if Mihoyo doesn’t want to do morally grey antagonists anymore, then going with the Disney villain is a better choice than demonizing another victim

Any time Li Shushang and Susannah are on screen together. Mihoyo really said “if you don’t know what to do with this side character, then make interesting by giving her a girlfriend,” and they were so right

Mei’s little amusement park space. I can’t really think of why I liked this section, I just did. It was fun

#honkai impact #ok so this was actually WAY more things than I was expecting #reminds me why I keep playing the game #reminder that this is all strictly MY OPINION #If you’re about to repond with some reason I’m objectively wrong for liking something- shut up #these are things I liked #not necessarily things I think are objectively good #feel free to repond with things you liked that weren’t on this list

[uncommon-etc]

A controversial take...

It might just be because I grew up in an era where queer characters, the few that we had, were regularly murdered, sidelined or reduced to punchlines on screen, but I think if you’re not doing any of the above, there is no such thing as bad queer rep.

I’m tired of living a world where, if I want to watch an overtly queer love-story in the cinema, I’ve got to take a two-hour train journey to London, (because beautiful films like Firebird, and Freefall literally only get shown at like four cinemas in the UK, and three of them are in London), I’m sick of doing the exact same thing, as an adult, we did as kids when trying to find characters we related to in media (’he’s never actually said, but he seems pretty queer-coded to me’), and I’m fed up of seeing people hating on writers who give us canonically queer characters for not making their queerness more overt, because you can guarantee they’re getting hate on whatever social media sites straight folks use nowadays for ‘trying to make everything gay’.

I don’t want to live in a world where Our Flag Means Death is a unique, beautiful exception to the rules of how we treat queer characters on screen. I don’t want to live in a world where if I want to go and see the only example of a same-sex love-story that’s central to the plot of a major blockbuster I’m accused to giving money to a terf who, let’s face it, is already richer than the queen, and isn’t going to care whether I see it or not. And I definitely don’t want to keep living in a world where we’re still sharing gifs from the same four shows in a few years time, because they’re the only ones who have managed to do queer representation ‘correctly’.

I want bad queer rep as well as good.

I want queer characters with as many flaws as we regularly let straight characters have, while still rooting for them.

I want queer characters that come across as deeply uncool, who parts of the fandom hate on, not because they’re queer, but because they’re just plain annoying.

I want queer characters who live up to stereotypes, and own them (It’s a Sin did a particularly good job of portraying gay men who had a lot of different sexual partners in the 80s as being no less worthy of care or sympathy than anyone else who contracted AIDS, but few other shows have been brave enough to go there).

I want to turn on the crappiest, most badly-written, procedural crime show completely at random, and see a queer detective, or a queer serial killer, preferably both, and they get it on, enemies-to-lovers style, with very little build-up or meaningful connection.

I want queer himbos who are so dumb you can’t quite work out why they’re still alive.

I want the next Disney prince to be gay.

I want queer superheroes who continue the long and proud superhero tradition of having almost zero personality, and not much going for them beyond being quite good at flying people out of burning buildings.

I want to see queer characters cross-dress, and explore weirdly specific fetishes, and reclaim dated terms for their identities, and do all the other things we no longer see queer characters do, because it’s viewed as bad rep, even if plenty of actual queer people do these things.

I want a queer character in every lame, action-thriller aimed at making a tonne of money from a predominantly male audience.

I want to see love-triangles that turn into polyamorous triads, in the trashiest possible way.    

And I want all of these things because, as a queer person, in a supposedly equal-opportunities media landscape, I want something more realistic than the sainted, beautified, sanitized version of queerness that we’re all too often given, because there is still too much stigma to show us as regular people, and because some writers are still so afraid of getting it wrong that they continue to create worlds in which we don’t exist. 

#lgbt #lgbt representation #lgbt discourse #ofmd #it's a sin #disney #mcu #fbtsod

[colorisbyshe]

Why do you think straight women are so obsessed with m/m sex? It isn’t comparable to like the scope and harm and shit of straight men obsessed with lesbian porn, but it’s bizarre to me all the same. I feel like the whole “media doesn’t have female characters” thing is just an excuse when fandom will create a whole ass backstory for a background character that showed up on just episode just bc he was played by a white actor.

Eh, lots of reasons, some understandable and some not—

-Women’s sexual desire being stigmatized and also like… completely removed from agency. When your body is made to be an object, receptacle of sexual desire, while men are the driving force in sex—the ones whose desires matter and will be acted upon—it’s easy to be divorced from your own sexuality and seek out exploration and satisfaction elsewhere.

I’m saying this sloppily. But like… women are discouraged from actually centering themselves in sex. Often, sex is about what men desire, what makes men feel good.

So, I can imagine in a lot of cases, wires sort of get crossed, and it becomes easier for women to fully removes themselves or similacrum of themselves from sexual satisfaction or even romantic satisfaction and make it wholly about male pleasure. About men pleasuring men.

The specter of the woman and all the stigma no longer haunts the pursuit of the erotic.

Maybe in exploring the tabooness of gay sex becomes a metaphor for the taboo in owning female sexuality. When it becomes about accepting other peoples stigmatized sexual desires, it’s easier to explore and own than it is with your own sexual desires.

Or, y’unno, if you find men hot, wouldn’t you find two men hot?

Could be the tabooness of gay sex making it hot for them—like it being “deviant” to them makes it naughty, demeaning. Lots of bigots seek out sexual gratification from things and people that repulse them, the repulsion just makes it hotter because it’s off limits and yet they’re still indulging. Lots of “kinks” (please note the quotation marks here) function liek this.

Could be anywhere on the fetishization spectrum.

Could be… the types of male bodies they like show up more in m/m content than in m/f content.

Could be different types of personality and dynamics are present in m/m content.

Could be a power play over men—like these women think men being penetrated makes them weaker and thus “on the same level” as them. A nice homophobia/misogyny combo. See: the pegging discourse

I don’t really feel comfortable ascribing one single reason for this phenomenon

I also don’t feel comfortable fully ascribing female consumption of m/m to straight girls. A lot of is coming from bi girls and… yes, lesbians.

Do the potential reasons change or become more sympathetic when we acknowledge that? Is there more nuance? I don’t know.

Could it just be human sexuality is crazy and sometimes things are more complicated without being malicious or bad.

Maybe for some people it’s because they really, truly only can see men as fully fleshed our character and humans because they’ve been socialized to. That they have more sympathy and room to flesh out flat male characters because the flaws they see in weak female characters feel more like criticisms they receive personally.

Maybe it’s all of these things at once for people.

There’s a whole range of “evil fetishizer” and “relatively innocent person just enjoying content that speaks to them” and I can’t clump everyone to own side.

Maybe the straight girls exploring m/m are gonna be gay/bi guys five years down the road and they just didn’t understand why the content spoke to them at the time.

Maybe it’s cause most het content sucks ass and female characters don’t interact enough. Maybe they’re lesbophobic and just don’t want to engage in lesbian content to make up for m/f sucking.

But then, again, lots of lesbians consume more m/m than f/f.

It’s all gonna come down to different applications and responses to misogyny and/or homophobia. YMMV depending on who the girl consuming m/m is and how she’s consuming

The girl diddling herself to her semes and ukes probably isn’t the same as the girl who cried over a gay indie flick but maybe they are the same girl.

Who knows! This is a topic fit for a psychology study and a 50 page essay, not a tumblr ask

Didn’t even get into how m/m ships racistly can be used to avoid m/f ships featuring women of color while some are being done for girlies to pat themselves on the back for being progressive (saw that a LOT with people shipping Finnpoe). Two different sides of the racism coin.

Like… there are so many angles here. Lots of them evil, some of them… sympathetic (?), some of them banal, and some of them batshit fucking insane.

I’ve only scratched the surface.

But tbh I only rly care that much when the content is actually harmful and homophobic. Cause a lot of the time it just turns into a weird witch hunt where we find out that gasp the girl involved was bi or a lesbian and it’s like… I don’t need to have another dialogue on if it’s homophobic for lesbians and bisexual girls to get off to gay dudes. I don’t see the net benefit there.

It’s complicated. It’s simple. Idk man.

Depends on the girlie. Depends on what domain of m/m content she’s in. Depends on if the content she’s consuming would send her to instant hell for what’s involved.

I don’t have answers, just more questions

I don’t really find the conversation to be productive without specifics, tbh.

#some of them should be shot in the streets tho #just to be clear

[captnjacksparrow]

What if Kishimoto actually made Sasuke and Naruto together and adopt a family. Would that bring chaos in good or bad way?

Regrettably, in a BAD WAY. 😞

Look at this.

If you don't know what this is, it's 2014 Naruto Official Facebook page, Where they dedicated this SNS fanart on Naruto's Birthday, not NH or NS but only SNS (not even an AU where his parents were alive and wishing him Happy Birthday). Look at the details of the fanart, like N and S being married, Sasuke's dino toy, Naruto's Frog doll, Hokage wardrobe....

But look at the homophobic comments😒😒😒

That picture was taken down later after the backlash they received. But an SNS fan immortalized this screenshot on Tumblr and it lives even today.

So, How do you think the outcome would be if the author made N and S end up together and adopt a baby??

There is this article about Gay people living in Closet which was published in March 2001 in The Daily Yomiuri Newspaper. Check it out here. I’ll just pull out some important points from there. 

-

-

“Steve Dodd, 44, a lecturer in Japanese literature at London University, comes to Tokyo for a few months each year to do research.

"I had no idea really what the attitude toward homosexuality was in Japan, in the small town where I was teaching kids. I felt this terrible fear of being exposed," he said.

Perhaps it was because he was still only about 20, he says. "But they were all saying, ‘Do you have a girlfriend yet?’ Or they were promising to take me to a prostitute or something. I can remember always living in fear that I would be dragged along to a brothel."

[[This ‘Do you have a Girlfriend yet?’ thing is very similar to people asking Naruto ‘Is she your Girlfriend?’]]

Assuming that everybody is straight in Japan, as anywhere else, the onus is on gays to tell people that they are "different," with all the stigma that can entail, particularly in a country that likes to claim that everybody is the same. No wonder then that some prefer to keep quiet, even if that means hiding what they really are.

There aren’t many people in Japanese public life — whether actors, athletes or politicians — who have publicly announced that they are gay, except for cross-dressers and the occasional activist.

"People tend to think of being ‘out’ as an either/or thing — either you’re ‘out’ or you’re in the closet — but it’s not that simple," says George Mirren (not his real name), 37, president of the Japanese subsidiary of a multinational corporation. Originally from a small town in Arkansas, he has been living in Tokyo for 15 years. He speaks fluent Japanese, and has a steady Japanese partner. "There are varying degrees of outness. No one is completely out all the time."

Although there may be less overt discrimination, social factors — especially the overwhelming emphasis on the so-called "traditional family" — can make life difficult for gays

Kazuya Kawaguchi of OCCUR (Japan Association for the Lesbian and Gay Movement) in Tokyo, says that a lot of people would be not shocked, but puzzled, by the idea of two men living together. He says, "In Japan, people think that any full-fledged adult male who’s single should be living on his own two feet — in other words, alone. There’s no concept of two men living together. They might think, for instance, that neither of them had any money. Naturally, they wouldn’t want to rent to them."

-

-

Despite having a large Fanbase for SNS, I still think majority of people over there are very conservative by all means. Like, they don’t even know that such concept exists. But hey, this is a very old article and we can’t judge everything based on this and things might have improved a lot over there too. 

In these days, I’ve seen Chinese media creators are finding very clever ways to portray LGBT content in Mainstream media by passing the Lead Characters off as Soulmates Which Kishi did it way back in 2010 itself by making Naruto declare that “We’ll die together”. 

So, Yes... Considering all these, Open Ending would’ve been so much better than this. Or they should’ve made them adopt some random kids and Co-Parent them together without making them as Official Couple but as ‘Friends’. 

But an SNS ending would’ve created more controversy in bad ways where there is a possibility of deeming this manga as inappropriate for Teenagers, the demographics they are targeting basically. But on the other side, it would’ve boosted other creators to come out and create similar contents like this without any hesitation. 

#sns #sasunaru #narusasu

[garthofshayeris]

I've seen you've talk about how rebirth Garth is not real Garth and I believe you obviously mean personally I am still annoyed over Roy's clone from n52 that everyone keeps acting like is Roy is still a thing, but how is he different?

I’m so glad you asked! It sounds obvious, but typically people like a character for their personality or their story arcs or their character development. Like, why else would you like a character, right? So when there are huge changes to the things that make you like the character, uh…there’s not much left.

So, obviously with reboots some things are going to be changed. Maybe someone’s appearance is altered. some of their backstory is switched up, some personality traits get dropped or added. What sucks about Rebirth Garth is they changed everything about his character, none of it for the better. And for a character who, until now, has had a major part to play in Aquaman and other dc comics for about half a century, it’s honestly pretty insulting. So many creators poured their hearts into shaping him into a character before the reboot. There was so much love put into his stories, that the comparison to rebirth is so, so noticeable. Like…if Dick Grayson was rebooted with a completely different backstory and personality and was only vaguely related to the Batfamily, I think fans would be rightfully upset. I feel the same about Garth.

His personality, or whatever attempt they made at one, is bland and boring. He’s a brute who likes fighting and….that’s it. Compared to preboot Garth who is consistently sweet and sensitive and emotional and good. He’s just a good guy who thinks of fighting as a last resort, because he would rather use his words than his fists. It was such a lovely, refreshing take on a male character (and one who is in big name comics like Aquaman and Titans and JLA) that to lose one of his key elements is terrible sad and disappointing.

Garth’s story is, ultimately, completely tied to Arthur’s. They bring out the best and worst in each other. Garth is Arthur’s foil, from the start he is there to complement Arthur as a hero and they’re part of each other’s arcs. And his backstory heavily influences how Garth acts and what he does. His story is one of grief and loss and identity and overcoming stigma, prejudice, and taking control of your destiny. His story is about healing. Or it was.

Because Rebirth Garth doesn’t have any of that. He is, essentially, a completely different character who happens to be named Garth. Sure, he mentioned offhandedly that when he was in Magic College he had a girlfriend who Died Tragically and then they never mentioned that again. It’s a cheap imitation of his Tula storyline, told in like 2 panels, because Tula is also a completely different character now. They’ve spoken in canon once. Two characters who have been so closely joined together for 50 years barely know each other now. This is the same for every other character who still exists in Aquaman canon (they’ve written out a ton). He’s never even spoken to his other love interest in preboot, Dolphin, at all.

Let’s get back to Magic College though. Garth’s powers (or the few he retained from his original power set, though honestly he just like glows now? They’ve never really explained what he can do) are there because he went to underwater Hogwarts and I guess you can just do that and become magic. In comparison, preboot Garth has magic because he’s an abandoned prince from a long line of powerful sorcerer-kings. But power corrupts and his father is murdered and his mother flees, and although she abandons Garth as birth he is so haunted by their deaths that they plague his nightmares. His powers are earned through an incredibly moving journey that includes (among other things) closure from grief and the literal act of taking ones destiny into their own hands. Garth earns his powers because he is pure of heart, because he is brave, and because he loves so, so much and because others loved him. And when he uses those powers in other comics, you remember the meaning behind them. So Rebirth Garth being magic “just because” is so reductive, so boring, so uninspired. I’d rather him be an average atlantean.

But Garth has absolutely no history with the Aquafamily. Giving us an emotional story with him now would be meaningless because he has no part in the comics or the Aquafam. Sure, they mentioned once that Arthur “raised” Garth but…there’s no evidence of that. They don’t speak to each other in Rebirth. There’s actually no way Arthur could have done that in the canon timeline, but it doesn’t matter because they make no attempt to show he’s even part of the family. Garth has been to exactly zero life events for Arthur. He’s never met Arthur’s daughter. He’s never shown just hanging with the others, and they hang out with assholes who tried to kill them before. He is never there. But we are told, once, that he and Arthur like each other. This character means nothing. You can write him out of the few issues he appears in and nothing changes. He’s completely worthless as a character.

So his personality is gone, his backstory is gone, his character themes and growth are gone…surely he still looks the same?

Wrong. He’a ugly. I’m sorry, he is. Everyone is always posting pictures of him saying he’s so pretty (and comparing him to his look on TT:YO as if those aren’t completely different continuities?) but he looks like every other black haired character in DC right now. He looks like Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson and Time Drake and every other fucking guy it’s boring and it’s stupid. He has ugly straight hair (a far cry from Garth’s usual big, curly locks) in a boring ponytail because apparently YJ and TT are the only source the artists ever used to draw him. And his eyes. He has blue eyes. BLUE. When his character has had purple eyes for his entire existence, when his purple eyes have been a major plot point for his entire existence, when his purple eyes were his one defining trait for his entire existence. Insulting.

And he has eye tattoos. Sure, you say, because we all know Garth got his eye scars while training with Atlan (also now a completely different character) when claiming his birthright (written out of canon) to gain his powers (written out of canon) so yeah, maybe they’re just tattoos now. Except some dumbass at DC couldn’t be bothered to put them on the right side of his face. Yet another defining character trait completely fucked up because nobody at DC cared about making this character. He exists to tick off a box, to say “hey, look, we brought back a character you guys wanted. Buy our comics.”

So, when I say Rebirth Garth isn’t the “real” Garth, this is what I mean. The characters are different in every way that makes characters matter. He’s a character who shares a name and nothing else. And I hate him.

#garth of shayeris #sorry I have fucking clue how to post readmores anymore #so I’m sorry this is so long I have opinions and y’all are gonna see them

[darthkvznblogs]

Saw the new chapter, nice! BTW, how would the various characters celebrate Pride Month?

Apologies, I've been busy with last chapter's reviews!

Wowza, that's a huge ask - I've made a conscious effort to normalize LGBTQIA+ identities in my stories, so there's a lot of ground to cover here! There's also a minor issue in that most of the current stories are set in 2012, which is quite a different landscape in regards to the acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community compared to nowadays.

With that in mind, I'll try to go for the "ideal" celebration (and I'll throw in the characters' gender identities and sexual preferences, since I've already got those in my ongoing character database). Obviously, this only applies to the characters as portrayed in the Kryptonverse!

(This is a long one, so I'll add a "read more" thingy for the sake of those who aren't interested.)

- I think Luz would take Pride Month as an opportunity to more overtly explore her gender noncomformity; much like was showcased in the Grom episode, she might try on different outfit combinations, different pronouns - whatever makes her feel closer to her ideal self. I think her stint in the Boiling Isles would only make it that much clearer how truly silly it is for other people to try and dictate what she should look or behave like. Luz currently identifies as a bisexual, cisgender woman, but she has found comfort in identifying as nonbinary in the past, and there's really no telling how she might feel in the future.

- Kryptonian society had a great many issues, but a resistance towards gender variance and non-heterosexual preferences wasn't one of them - as long as you followed the strict life path set up for you by the Empire, of course. Kara is still confused about the human attitudes towards this subject, and angry that they affected Alex and Lena negatively in their youth. I think she'd celebrate Pride Month by pushing the Avengers to champion causes that protect the LGBTQIA+ community - not that they need much convincing. Think parades, lobbying for legislation, impassioned speeches, and million-dollar donations to worthy charities - whatever it takes to make sure people know where their heroes stand on this issue. Kara is a pansexual cisgender woman, Alex and Lena are lesbian cisgender women, Tony is a pansexual cisgender man, Steve is a (closeted) bisexual cisgender man, Natasha is an aromantic, bisexual, cisgender woman, Clint is a biromantic, heterosexual, cisgender man, and Rhodey and Bruce are both heterosexual, cisgender men (the Hulk himself is pansexual though).

- Not that Ben was against it before, of course, but I think gaining the ability to swap bodies (and genders, depending on the transformation) at will would give him a much greater appreciation for people who suffer from dysmorphia or otherwise don't gel with the body they were born with. I think he'd champion trans causes specifically during Pride Month - much to the anger of his parents, both conservative politicians. Ben is a bisexual, cisgender man, Julie is a bisexual, cisgender woman, Kevin is a heterosexual, cisgender man, and Gwen is a (currently questioning) bisexual, cisgender woman.

- It's kind of a spoiler to talk at length about Chloé's relationship with her own preferences. Suffice it to say, she would be very much opposed to Pride celebrations initially, but may or may not radically change her attitude as her journey goes on. Chloé is a lesbian, cisgender woman. Adrien is a bisexual, cisgender man (with GNC tendencies as he grows up), and Marinette is a bisexual, cisgender woman.

- Nico obviously didn't grow up in an environment conducive to the acceptance of his being gay. I think there's still a lot of internal self-loathing there, even as his boyfriend and his friends have greatly helped to coax him away from it, and that might manifest as his reluctance to participate in Pride celebrations. I think once he's convinced to attend a Pride parade once, though, it would make a world of difference going forward! Nico is a gay, cisgender man.

- Ellie has never given much thought to her own identity or preferences. She's felt attracted to all kinds of people, but never enough to want to act on it. It's possible that she's aro/ace, or somewhere on that spectrum, but even that feels like an ill-fitting piece of clothing. She is fiercely protective of Danny, though; poking fun or attacking him for being trans is a surefire way to make her go all out against you. She'll happily celebrate Pride with Danny and friends, too. Ellie doesn't currently subscribe to any romantic or sexual preference, but does identify as a cisgender woman. Valerie is a bisexual, cisgender woman. Danny is a heterosexual, transgender man.

- Pidge used to comfortably identify as a straight, cis woman, but her stint as Pidge Gunderson and the subsequent massive expansion of her knowledge of gender identities and sexual preferences due to her travels as a Paladin of Voltron have let her more solidly (ironically) identify as genderfluid and pansexual. She'd have a blast teaching Allura and Coran all about Earth Pride celebrations, and I'm sure she's eager to teach the people of Earth just how little they know about what's out there. Pidge is a genderfluid, pansexual individual (identified as female during Close Encounters, but don't let that fool you!).

- Saiyans have a weird relationship with gender and sexual preference. The average Saiyan is mostly free to do and be whatever the f*ck they want in this regard, but there is definitely a culture of male superiority, and a stigma towards trans Saiyan men, specifically - it's seen by traditionalists as "women trying to rise above their station", much in the same way as marrying between Saiyan classes is scorned. Caulifla and Kale don't have that kind of baggage, though, growing up on Xandar - their dithering about being with each other is just your classic awkward teenage romance, nothing to do with their both being women. Caulifla and Kale both identify as lesbian, cisgender women.

- Dipper may be a straight man, but he's the best damned ally you could hope for - fiercely protective of his pansexual twin and bisexual girlfriend. He's got every opposing argument memorized, and a counterargument ready to go - you do not want to debate him, and he will track your ass down if he catches you trolling/hating online. Mabel becomes even more of a living vortex of glitter and gloss during Pride - sweeping away the more muted Tulip, who'll happily settle for a little bisexual flag pin or sticker on her computer. Hard not to find Mabel's enthusiasm infectious, though! Dipper is a heterosexual, cisgender man, Mabel is a pansexual, cisgender woman, and Tulip is a bisexual, cisgender woman.

That was a lot! I hope it was an enjoyable read, though! @the-literary-lord

#ask box #kryptonverse #supergirl #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #danny phantom #trans danny #the owl house #miraculous ladybug #dragon ball super #gravity falls #infinity train #percy jackson #pjo series #voltron #vld #ben 10 #happy pride 🌈

[saranghanuuu]

PERKS OF DATING A YOUNGER GUY I LEARNED AFTER WATCHING CHINESE DRAMA FIND YOURSELF + REVIEW!

1. He has less baggage

This means that he has more time to attend to your needs and wants unlike an older guy with a demanding schedule and lots of responsibilities at hand.

2. He's more open-minded and adventurous

They are open to having new experiences and won't judge you for veering off the path you should stay on.

3. He's infectiously energetic *ehem*

Need I say more? A younger guy's youthful sense will surely find unimaginable ways to impress you!

4. He puts you on a pedestal

A younger man will appreciate your maturity and experiences and will admire you for it. They're also most likely take advice from you without letting it bruise their ego.

5. He'll make you feel young

Be prepared to relive the fun parts of your younger years with him.

It's not so wrong to say that the May-December relationship is taboo, especially among Asians. Most people I know had this inkling that when a younger guy hooks up with a woman way older than him, it could prolly mean one of two things — the guy's a paramour or she's a sugar momma. I'm honestly not a fan of it either on the premise that women mature faster than men. Let's be real, an immature relationship is a disaster. But now that I'm in my late 20s, and a hopeless romantic single at that, I kinda pondered over this. It suddenly occurred to me, what if one day I’m caught up in the position of being pursued by a younger man? Will I let the stigma affect me emotionally? Or will I take the risk ‘coz all is fair in love? I still don’t have a definite answer to this question. However, watching Find Yourself served as an eye-opener for me to look at things from a different perspective.

Find Yourself is a 2020 Chinese drama starring Song Wei Long and Victoria Song. It tells the story of a 32-year old Executive Director who never *even once* experienced dating. Given her age and career stability, she receives constant pressure from the people around her to find someone to marry and has since frequented blind dates arranged by her family, friends, or colleagues. But this girl is just someone who swears by the "spark" - no spark, then no point to the relationship. She may be old for fantasizing over first love and such, but she still yearns that it'll naturally come to find her someday. Until her thirst for real romance is quenched by a 22-year-old guy who started working as an intern in her company at his brother’s request.

Although hesitant at first due to their huge age difference and the societal views, she went out with him on the condition that they'll keep it a secret for the first 3 months. If everything went well, she agrees to publicize her relationship with him.

Let’s start off with the good things...

I just can't with this drama...! This so beautiful, cute, relatable - especially for a woman in late 20s like me. 

Plot-wise, it was well-imparted and makes perfect sense, touching a looooooot of relationship aspects in 41 episodes. Not only did I enjoy the happenings between our main couple, but our side couples' stories are very interesting too.

This drama pretty much straightened out my prejudice about age-gap relationships.

Light-hearted, just the way I like it! Every episode will make you smile and/or laugh hard.

Sexual tensions overload and superb kissing scenes! Let those hormones rush in. Not awkward to watch 'coz They. Did. Not. Hold. Back. Ack! If you're single, be prepared to feel MORE SINGLE watching this drama.

Well-written lines that will make you feel real emotions. The words will shoot you straight to the heart.

Acting-wise, the casts, from the mains down to the sides, did a super fine job in conveying the sentiments of their characters. My highest admiration goes to male lead Yuan Song, not (only) because he’s young, hot, and handsome, but because his youthful vibe made me reminisce the paradox of my early 20s awww. Anyways, in the beginning, I am sort of confused why (of all girls) he fell head over heels with our female lead He Fanxing who's obviously out of his league. I even suspected him of taking advantage of her naivety in matters of the heart. But as the drama went along, our dude proved himself genuine... That he's sincerely just a guy who's deeply in love with a woman... That indeed, true love can exist in this kind of relationship. Both Yuan Song and Fanxing emotionally benefited from each other and it's so lovely seeing that.

⚠️ AND SORRY BUT THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT⚠️

Halfway through the drama, our main couple called it quits. I'm somewhat grateful that it happened. Their break-up scene is just so powerful I had to rewind it many times. Not because I liked seeing them suffer from the consequences of their incompatibility. Rather, I loved it 'coz it became the turning point of their relationship.

Their love is premature, to begin with — trust isn't mutual, commitment is one-way, only showing each other's good sides in fear of the relationship turning sour, one is willing to compromise while the other wants to avoid responsibility, filled with doubts and insecurities. During this break-up phase, we were shown the difference between how kids and adults behave and decide in a dilemma. I suddenly remembered this one line delivered in the drama which I agree with — "Only kids would choose one or the other. Adults find solutions". The break-up also served as our main couple's period of contemplation about who and what they want in life. It taught them how to fully embrace their offbeat romance against the norms. Fortunately, things wrapped up into a sweet end.

And of course the bad...

Hmmm... Maybe I'm just not used to it but am I the only one who thinks that this drama is quite lengthy? Yes, I enjoyed it but it's not a good one to binge-watch. It took me almost a month to finish this I nearly drowned haha. Honestly, there were parts they could've just compressed instead of dragging it for too long. One example is Ye Luming and He Fanxing's relationship trial. Ooohhh I hate this part it brought shivers down my spine ugh. Well truth be told, Luming and Fanxing are compatible and better off as friends. They jive so well, and I give it to them that they're both adults who can only understand adult things.

But when Luming all of a sudden became a sneaky character to an intolerable point... Ah, I don't know anymore! Seeing how compelled Fanxing is to being Luming's girlfriend got under my skin. Although these ugly parts eventually became a good contributory factor to Fanxing's realization of her true feelings towards Yuan Song, but still...! I also hated Fanxing at one point for being so gullible in love. But yeah, I had to swallow it because that's her character setup in the first place. It should be expected of her to be hasty and dubious about it.

On the other hand, I wished they've been generous in showing us more about how Yuan Song and Fanxing's relationship is going after the public reveal. I've been waiting for this the entire time (they could've done so much more in 41 episodes' length!) so I'm quite disappointed.

After watching the second season of Well-Intended Love, I admit I lost interest in Chinese dramas. So watching this restored my faith in them. I even have a list of C-dramas lined up now! But I have to move on from this one first before I start another. It's not as easy as I thought ㅠㅠ

What do you think about this drama? Are we on the same frequency? ❤️

If you haven't watched this yet, watch it now. As in 지금부터 RIGHT NOW. Highly-recommended!

#find yourself #下一站是幸福 #song weilong #victoria song #chinese drama #romance #comedy #drama reviews #yuan song #he fanxing #chinese #romcom #cdrama #may-december relationship

[nightswithkookmin]

What you think of fetus V who said in front of everyone "You seem to really like men" to Jimin? Youthful ribbing? Or a moment of insensitivity ? FWI saying you like girls or guys? Or calling close same sex friends u a couple? is actually common where am from. This has happened in my friend circle too actually. Except all of us are hets so no one take it seriously. Cant think a closeted person would find it that funny. Jimins lack of denial or even laughing it off always stood out to me tho.

What do I think of that comment?

I think we both know very often when people say they think a man likes men, they mean to say they think that man is Gay and very often when the g-word is used in a sentence, it is not meant as a compliment- imma give it to you straight, no bs. Lol.

The parlance gay and variations of it, in my opinion, is often used ubiquitously and traditionally as a slur slang among ignorant, non-progressive, anti homosexual individuals and is often rooted in malice.

And when malice isn't intended, ridicule is. The sad fact is, people adopt the terminology as ammunition to blatantly attack, dehumanize, belittle and strip away the dignity of queer folks and when the term is used in reference to non queer people it has a similar effect. It degrades them as well through the irony and humor of comparing them to gay people.

Gay jokes, if you will, is a subtle art of passive aggressively slurring gay folks if you think about it. I mean let's be honest.

Personally, I don't think Tae's intentions in that moment were malicious at all. I don't think he blurted out those words with the intension to ridicule Jimin either- stay with me. It will make sense in a bit.

But he called Jimin gay nevertheless. His comment if a joke, I'm afraid, reinforces these bizzare stereotypes of masculinity and promotes toxic rhetorics prevalent especially within Kpop shipping communities where every Male idol interaction is hyper sexualised and romanticized thus, suggesting a man cannot love another man, be affectionate or be fond of them unless they secretly lusted after them and harbored a desire to lay down pipes in their behinds- which, honestly is crazy coming from a guy with a cultural background such as the Korean culture where kinship is commonplace but more on that later.

I think whatever which way we want to look at it, it was an insensitive comment especially if you believe he meant it as a joke. It was definitely not his most woke moment, socially and culturally- and that's putting it lightly.

That 'gay' comment to me is right up there with all the problematic statements some, if not all, of the members have made over the years- the colorism, racist jokes, the ' eww, you too black,' 'akekeke- you too tanned shoo,' implying if you're black or tanned you are ugly. The fat jokes, the misogyny and misogynior- please don't ask me to give you examples of these. I don't want to ruin BTS for you. Lol.

There are commentaries on these out there on the internet. You can look it up for yourselves- You welcome. Lol.

For the record, BTS have since retracted, acknowledged and apologized for most of these questionable moments throughout the years and so we cannot hold it against them, forever- not to make excuses for them but they are human too. They learn, they unlearn, they make mistakes, they correct them, they grow and as NamJoon said, they really were a bit 'unsophisticated' and rough around the edges in their earlier years- even if it was just five years ago from now, chilee. They is a mess. Lmho.

I think it's all part of the human process honestly- don't worry BTS, I have a lot of space in my heart for y'all to be human and still love ya. Keep going sweeties. Y'all's doing greatness de la grande kind!! Bless y'all.

In V's case he was, since that incident, put as a judge on a show that allegedly featured queer folks and he seemed more welcoming of them than the other judges on the panel, excluding RM of course.

A year later, he would make a song that the LBGTQ plus fraction of Army would rally behind as a highly pro gay song- Stigma, which I find debatable but whatever. I mean, just because JK has stars, clouds and the sky in his lyrics don't make him an astronaut or an environmentalist fighting the good cause for the climate but to each his own.

Stigma was still something, I'll give him that.

Flashforward to five years later, and he would be recommending songs by gay artists, appreciating and promoting gay art and the artists behind them, sporting rainbow outfits, designing a BT21 character that is genderless, incorporating sign language in his speeches- he polished up. Woke the hell up. Politically correct. Yadda yadda yadda.

I think, like some of the others, he too learned his lesson. It's not ok to trivialize the oppression of others or make light of it-

Now that we've gotten the woke bit out of the way, on to our shipping business. Follow me, chop chop. Lol.

Firt of all, I don't think that moment is a big deal. But I find it interesting nonetheless.

Do I think Tae was teasing Jimin in that moment when he made that statement? It's not quite easy as yes or no.

Personally, I think he was clocking him.

This interview was conducted at a point in the timeline where I feel Jimin was shedding his image as the Maknae obsessed hyung in the group. He was coming into his own and embracing himself for who he is and that I think included his sexuality.

Prior to, he had in my opinion, since debut, slipped into the role of the queer jest of the group supplying queer humor and entertainment for listeners at radio shows by offering himself up for ridicule as the 'gay guy' within the group- I hated every bit of it. Lol.

You'd often hear the members refer to him as the one good with the guys, the boy in love with the Maknae- There is still a fraction of Army that see him as this persona but he has since outgrown that label and that phase.

RM was basically the Black jest of the group, offering himself up for ridicule for his darker skin tone right down to his blaccent. Can you do your black accent? They will ask him at interviews and he would proceed to deliver a walmart version of the Black American English. Sigh.

Compared to the previous year where he literally gasped and panicked when the members hinted at his sexuality or made statements that put his sexuality into question, Jimin seemed more in control and mentally prepared during this interview.

When the question was asked of him, the question of why he liked JK, his instincts it seemed was to steer the conversation away from his sexuality- a tactic the rest of the members would employ to avoid discussing Jikook a few months from that interview...

I mean, when Tae asked Jimin on JK's birthday that same year what he wanted to give JK, RM cut in before JM answered. Jimin had done the same thing when in an interview JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was stuttering not knowing what to say in response. JM asked him not to answer the question.

When interviewers ask these questions, they do so for entertainment purposes- because who doesn't like gay jokes, amirite?

For heterosexual idols I assume it's not slippery slope for them to engage in these kinds of humor. They can play gay without risking exposing their heterosexuality and when they do play gay it's for jest.

It's not the same for queer idols I think.

Jimin was basically done being the butt of the gay jokes in 2015, he was done selling himself as the JK shit rainbows and I'm the unicorn fixated on him kinda person and it reflected in that conversation.

'I don't like everything about this boy. He ain't all that. But he is the Maknae and he cute so whatever' lol.

Like I said, I think Jimin was steering the conversation away from his sexuality but Tae's comment steered the conversation right back to it. 'I just think he likes men.'

Most South Koreans I've met in person and on the internet spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to dispel the western notion of gayness projected on to Korean men for their skinship culture.

We like to glamorize gayness in these streets but in reality gay is stigmatized especially in places like South Korea. People don't readily read gay in Male interactions unless they were being homophobic or socially unaware.

To me, Tae's statement was more of an observation about Jimin, one which he felt a need to contribute to the discussion they were having, perhaps to provide insight into the inner workings of Jimin rather than as a joke or jest- or may be he did both.

Jimin managed to avoid opening himself up for the gay jokes and to this Tae then responded, I just think you is gay sir- The emphasis has been mine. Lol.

The thing about Tae is, in the earlier days he used to have a habit of 'exposing' Jimin whenever Jimin told half truths and what not.

For example, in 2014 during an interview when JM was asked what he wanted to do on his free days he had said he wanted to spend time with his family or something and Tae immediately checked him saying he was lying. Jimin then said he wanted to be with Jungkook which had JK fuming.

Was he teasing JM when he called him out for lying about his true desires? May be but I think he meant it too. Know what I mean?

He did the same thing when during their Paris VLive, Jimin got nervous when JK was singing 'know you love me boy, so that I love you,' in the background and Tae asked Jimin if he was nervous. Jimin snapped out of whatever whipped trance he was in and asked 'why would I be nervous' or something along those lines.

Why would Tae assume JM was nervous listening to another man sing? And why would Jimin be nervous in the first place?

And if at an interview Jimin is asked, why don't you like listening to the Maknae sing and JM responded that he is cute but he can't sing and Tae says well I think listening to Jk sing makes him nervous- would that be youthful ribbing or tea? Do you see where I'm going with this?

I see Tae as very observant- If not more observant than Jk. Their jokes are punchier because it is rooted in truth. He is stating his opinion, his observations and when he felt JM's answers were dishonest or inconsistent of his general notion of him, he called him out on that.

It's like him saying JM likes to pretend to be drunk in order to tell Tae he loves him- allegedly. Was it funny, yes. Was it a lie? I don't think so.

Jimin likes to pretend, we been knew. His boyfriend don spilled that tea already. I mean Jk said JM faked being asleep when he noticed the cameras filming him. He said also JM knows he is cute so sometimes he intentionally acts cute.

Tae used to tease Jimin a lot- hell he still teases him a lot to this day. Lol. Had Jimin looking at the back of his head like he wanted to quick punch him in the throat in the recent run, chilee. Lmho.

But you gotta ask, where is the lie in all those jokes?

The question I ask myself, and I think we ought to ask ourselves as shippers is, what about Jimin gave Tae that impression of him in the first place?

What made Tae, coming from a culture and background where 'gay' is a taboo and skinship is prevalent assume that if Jimin liked JK then it was because he liked men or was gay?

Even if Tae meant it as a Joke- no one laughed. Lol. That awkward silence that ensued... now that's how you know he had deadass made a 'gay comment' for real. Lmho.

They were all silent, waiting for JM's response and only laughed when JM responded to Tae- isn't that how it usually goes when you are the one queer person at the het dinner table? The tasteless jokes, awkward silences and stares? Just me? Oh, never mind then. Keep reading. Lol.

Imagine if JM hadn't responded or had gay panicked like he did a year before that interview, when RM revealed JK had been sneaking into JM's bed at night?

Dude was legit ready to throw JK under the bus had it not been for the shady camera guy behind the cameras. Deadass, Jimin was pointing accusing fingers at JK and everything- so much for gay love. Lmho.

The question still remains, what makes you look at your heterosexual friend and go- hey, that's gay. Think about it.

If Tae thought Jimin liked men, even as a joke, it's probably because Jimin had been giving him a reason or reasons to believe he actually liked boys beyond the usual daily doze of gay prevalent within K-culture.

It's similar to JK feeling uncomfortable when Jimin in 2014 described their relationship as one between love and friendship. Jimin responding with male friends can love eachother too without being gay would imply JK was interpreting his words and actions towards him as laced with romantic and sexual subtext or intent.

Now why would JK assume this if men touching men and feeling up on eachother in their culture was a normal thing?

There are gay men in Korea you know?

Tae and Kook were both hyper aware and curious of Jimin's sexuality in that period- for different reasons of course. In my opinion.

Not sure if Jimin's androgynous features played a role in these suspicions and assumptions they had of him in the early days because androgynousity in men is often ignorantly profiled and stereotyped as queer.

Tae seemed convinced JM was queer at least and JK was projecting his own queerness on to Jimin a lot- cough, cough.

It seemed to me also that Tae for whatever reason had the impression JM had a thing for him? I'll save my VMin agenda for delulu Fridays but chilee I don't know, Jimin has been on an agenda to friendzone that man since those manly mans thawed off his chest. Lol.

VMIN... ok.

I mean Jimin's response to Tae was more to deflate Tae's ego than to deflect or evade the issue and I wonder why. 'You are so full of yourself' 'I may like men, but I don't like you' and Tae responds with 'really' as if he's been challenged or dared- ever had your straight friends assume you like them just because you are queer?

Anywho, for whatever reason, Jimin seemed to be the only member in the group around the early days whose words and actions were put through the queer litmus test.

Also, I think a distinction ought to be made between calling two same sex friends a couple and calling them gay.

Calling two friends a couple is inconsequential- except when their sexuality is on the line. Calling two same sex friends you know are straight a couple is nothing but a gay joke.

BTS do this all the time. Jimin called Namjin a couple, Tae kook a couple, himself and Suga a couple, himself and JK a couple.

Jk has equally referred to others within the group as a couple, made heart signs above them, and have even held his chest and said he never thought he would fall for a guy.

In none of these instances did he or any of them imply that they or the persons they were referring to were queer or liked men and I wouldn't make much of such comments.

When JK was called out for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others, Tae teased JK as well and his gestures implied to me, 'it's ok to like him, I know you like him, you like JM don't you, uWu' and other variations of these.

But he in no way hinted at the sexuality of JK explicitly or implicitly- not in a way that prompts a response or rebuttal from JK like it did in Jimin's case.

I guess what I'm saying is that, that moment is nothing but something at the same time. You look at Tae's personality and his reputation within the group as the one with no filter who blurts out things that often has BTS running helter skelter- that 'I want to see your children" comment at Festa almost gave RM an aneurysm. Lmho.

Then they had to literally take his mic away from him when he started talking about meeting a pretty chick or something at a fansigns.

You consider the history between him and Jimin, the context behind that comment and the things that was said after that comment- the interviewer said 'well JK is really handsome...' which means he took the 'joke' Tae had made to mean JM had romantic interest in JK- something I feel JM was trying to avoid.

I don't think Tae meant anything by it. I don't think he knew at the time JM was queer but I do believe he suspected he was.

Hope this helps,

Signed,

GOLDY

[nomoregoldfish]

I Promised You The Moon rant

Just binged it and this was from the episode by episode reaction/discussion with my partner in crime @glossyboy.

First of all, Oab stole the show, singlehandedly, which he's not supposed to. I don't think anyone expected it including himself. In the very top post when I searched his name on tumblr, he said this lol

But the truth is he played one hell of "villain" that required a very nuanced performance and he delivered it in a believable and graceful manner. Jai became the catalyst of the entire season and his rather complicated relationship with Teh was the highlight of part 2.

EP 1

From the very beginning it's clear that part 2 is very much a Teh's story rather than a balanced story about two young people's journey as a couple in the next chapter of their lives. It makes me uncomfortable they made Oh-aew clingy and pessimistic without giving him any character development.

The best part is probably the opening scene where they went paper-rock-scissors to decide who's gonna buy condoms. It felt authentic, the expectation, the hesitation, the mischievous act, all fits their characters well. Other times ep 1 was more like two adult kids playing house, literally in an empty giant ass upper middle class apartment.

EP 2

It's great that they poked the femininity vs. masculinity issue through Oh-aew, but stopped right there at the surface. Missed a perfect opportunity to go head-to-head with the controversial topic, start a debate, crush the stigma of femininity, bring something new, be a real game changer of the BL genre, and most importantly give Oh-aew some concrete character development. Part 1 showed us a gay character that's very comfortable with his sexuality and femininity, that's almost revolutionary in Asia, not as a comic relief but a leading role. Oh-aew questioned his own sexual identity once in that bra wearing scene, it's straight out of comfort zone, BOLD, and transgressive. So I expected more from part 2.

That's it? And they're already sophomores? Can't believe Oh-aew's character has been marginalized like this. It's pathetic.

But I love the brutally honest conversation at the end where Teh vented his rage and despair regarding his frustration of acting. He was acting like a dick because he's disappointed, and scared. Teh again was not afraid of showing vulnerability, making the reconciliation very realistic and touching.

EP 3

Dare I say I freaking love ep 3! The unresolved (partially sexual, but not entirely) tension between Teh and Jai was over the roof! And the built-up to their kiss was very authentic, which paled Teh and Oh-aew's much sidelined storyline, including the long anticipated sex scene (still can't believe it happened right after Jai explicitly instructed Teh to do it after the two spent a whole night bonding, like wow! Totally TRANSGRESSIVE and to some extent, kinky.) Teh looked up to the senior, idolized him, wanted to be good for him and make him proud, thirsted for the validation from him, which was mixed with affections. The workshop diary was a brilliant idea to let them open up to each other and eventually bring them close. This was what a meaningful arc of a story looked like. By contrast, there isn't a single moment between Oh-aew and Teh in part 2 that made me go "Damn it's soooooo hot!"

I know Jai/Teh wasn't the endgame but I appreciate the storyline so much. It's a very bold move considering it broke the over-glorified "one true love in one's life" fantasy of its target audience, mostly young cis women. The popular narrative of "you can only love one person through your life/one true love" in romance fictions/chick flicks was totally smashed. And it wasn't written just to stir up things between Teh and Oh-aew, it wasn't a silly fling. Instead, it's meaningful, complicated, natural, and realistic, delivered by nuanced and excellent acting from two young actors. It's hilarious that fans hate Jai with a passion and call him names.

And big news, Jai is bi?! Bravo! He's radiating bi vibes since his first appearance.

I kind of gave up at this point, the season wouldn't do Oh-aew any justice. Like my partner in crime pointed out, the costume design literally threw some "incongruous female fashion pieces" on Oh-aew, made him dye his hair red, without...making any actual point of his personality or his character development. Wardrobe was supposed to make a point in storytelling. Yes, PP wearing pink is cute, and? There's nothing else for Oh-aew. Unfortunately he's reduced to this sulky, crying, and wronged partner in a failing relationship.

EP 4

Oab again was killing it. The tension between Jai and Teh...from the rehearsal in front of Oh-aew to the dressing room pep talk, was incredibly intense and hot AF.

Was it a manipulative relationship after all? Oab was so good at conveying a character with many faces. Jai's a mentor to Teh, also a good friend, their relationship was genuine. He's also ambitious with his own goals, he used, challenged, provoked Teh in a way that benefited them both. It made sense the title of part 2, I Promised You The Moon, was from Jai's script. He promised Teh what the junior wanted the most, a bright future in acting. Teh's unconventional and unspoken feelings for Jai was the best part of the entire season in terms of creative writing, it's complicated, fragile, delicate and completely heartbreaking.

The after talk in the hallway was so well-written. It's funny (Teh joking about playwrights always write about their EXs is gold), intimate yet meticulously controlled, no one lashed out or wept. Both knew what they signed up for and Jai particularly made it clear about his motive and the purpose of the "special workshop" beforehand (or right away.) Yet it's no one's fault that Teh got carried away. He's younger, he's immature, he's more into it, it's totally natural. It's so romantic when Teh's singing karaoke in the bar with Oh-aew, yet he couldn't help but desperately staring at Jai on the floor, knowing he and the man who just turned him down were never gonna happen, they were done, but he's still madly attracted to him and his talent. He fancied Jai, at least the idea of Jai, a playwright, a director, someone knew him better than himself. That hurt beautifully.

EP 5

Teh/Oh-aew endgame at this point was pretty meaningless. Oh-aew as a leading character never got any solid character development over a span of four years. What happened between Jai and Teh wasn't just "cheating", though they surely made it look that way, like Teh's empty promise of "I won't see him again after the show ends". No matter how Oh-aew and Teh eventually reconciled, there's no emotional connection, no sparkle anymore between the couple.

But I knew for a fact they had to. Otherwise it's too much of a risk financially for the series. The creators had to take the easy way out like most traditional romances—one of the most contrived and formulaic trope where the male leading character made a mistake (usually cheating) and realized he's wrong, he deeply hurt the female leading character (Oh-aew was merely a girl substitute in part 2), then he completely changed for hell knew what reasons, started doing every nicest thing in the world to try to "win" the female character back. It has been feeding the emotionally-deprived cis female readers/audience who are frustrated with heterosexual relationship irl for decades. The formula that made romance outsell other genres of fictions combined in the 60s and 70s still sells today, under the name of boys' love. It's pathetic to see Oh-aew confess to Bas that he always "lost" to Teh. Love shouldn't be some kind of game or competition, there isn't winner or loser in love. Love is spontaneous. Oh-aew didn't lose because Teh developed feelings for someone else, and he didn't win when Teh begged him for reconciliation. People change, people move on.

And as predicted, they went for it. The ending was so absurd and tedious.

Overall, Jai's probably the hardest villain to play, he needed to be REALLY GOOD to be "the bad guy", to make his role conceivable. Oab absolutely nailed it with his talent and experience. He's not even my type or extremely good looking yet I'm 100% SOLD. I immediately re-watched the scene of him kissing Teh back hungrily at the end of ep 3 like I used to re-watch Teh/Oh-aew's steamy make out session at the end of episode 3 part 1. Coincidence?

I like some parts of both seasons for the same reason, each challenged and tried to break some outdated/contrived narratives in the BL genre. Part 1 took on the sexuality taboo by showing two same sex characters sexually attracted to each other, no more "I'm not into boys, I just happened to fall for someone of the same gender" or "pure love" bullshit. By staying true to the characters' sexuality and actually showing it with explicit, intense (and beautifully shot) scenes, the gay characters were normalized. They weren't just pure and innocent, no one was. And it created two of most unconventional gay characters in Asian pop culture, Oh-aew, a beautiful boy who's very comfortable with his own sexuality and femininity, not passive at all, taking initiative to pursue what he wanted; and Teh, a sensitive, caring and vulnerable boy who cried a lot, he's confused but also sweet and brave.

Part 2 tackled the "You can only love one person through your life" trope with a very nuanced story of "cheating". Yet neither carried out what they started. Part 1 fell short of a revolutionary piece that stayed true to "adolescent sexual turmoil", dismissing bisexuality and becoming a typical unrealistic BL fantasy in the end. And Part 2, ugh, forced a "happy ending" that almost no one digs. I understand it's extremely difficult and risky to disrupt the established norms of a genre. But sometimes being transgressive and progressive could be the same thing. A story, an artwork, has to challenge something in order to create something new and compelling.

#i promise you the moon #i told sunset about you #ipytm #oab oabnithi #billkin #pp krit #rant post #asian lgbtq dramas #lgbtq #i promised you the moon

[wanderchyld]

Final PBIO/IOTNBO analysis and theory

This post is my final analysis and includes some questions I have as we go into the final weekend of one of the best dramas in history. It is VERY long as I consolidate and expand on my previous analysis and theories.

I also lost a big chunk of this post while I was working on the draft just a few hours before posting, resulting to this post as a little inconsistent. Excuse me if my points are messy and some points missing with some issues untouched (because I forgot 😭). I think most points can be linked back to my past theories so you can read up on them if you haven’t.

List of my theories before ep 14:

Do Heejae and the other woman

Moonyoung’s background and Go Daehwan

Head Nurse is NOT Do Heejae, she’s the previous housekeeper

Maybe Head Nurse really is Do Heejae

As usual, please note that anything I quote may be a mix of Netflix’s subs and my translation because I know Korean and Netflix tends to miss nuances sometimes.

Firstly, Park Ok Ran’s dead.

Let’s get this out of the way first. (You can read my first theory on her role in this whole saga.)

“She can’t come anymore.”

Can’t have her exposing Park Haengja. Or plot twist: she is alive and returns to save the trio from the villain 😆

No one’s memory is reliable

Not Kangtae’s as established in ep 6 that he didn’t remember his mother brought them to eat jjamppong because he’s the one who liked it, not Sangtae.

Not Sangtae’s. In spite of his good memory, it was established in ep 10 that he didn’t remember Kangtae saving him, so his memories can be flawed as well.

Therefore, not Moonyoung’s, and definitely not Go Daehwan’s.

There are few things that we can be sure because they are concurrent:

There was a female body in the basement that was disposed or disappeared.

The murderer of Taetae Bros’ mother wore Moonyoung’s mother’s a one-of-a-kind brooch.

There was a body in the reservoir.

Taetae Bros’ mother was the new housekeeper (I saw that some people disagree but here are the supporting screenshots).

There were definitely two women

My theory that there were 2 women in Moonyoung’s family still stands and I’m expanding on it.

Let’s look at the family photos first. There are multiple versions of the family photo, and I suspect they were taken at different times. Here they are in what I think is the chronological order.

1) Photo in the basement: Go Daehwan had full-rimmed glasses, Moonyoung wore a scarf and stood closer to him with his hand on her shoulder, and the lady wore a fully black high neck top with the brooch on the right.

Before the family moved in, on the day Go Daehwan showed the lady around the house, he was wearing the full-rimmed glasses, and the house looked lived in (fully furnished, fully decorated, shelves full). 

2) Go Daehwan’s photo: Go Daehwan had half-rimmed glasses, Moonyoung stood right in the middle and without the scarf, and the lady wore a blazer over a straight neckline blouse with the brooch on the right.

3) Park Haengja’s photo seems to be the same as Moonyoung’s: Go Daehwan with half-rimmed glasses, can’t tell whether Moonyoung was wearing a scarf or not but she sat nearer to the lady who wore the same blazer over a straight neckline blouse without the brooch.

Go Daehwan had half-rimmed glasses when he realised his wife killed Taetae Bros’ mother.

Photos are evidences of relationships. In a group photo, the people who are closer would pose closer to each other. These family photos tell us that Go Daehwan and Moonyoung were actually close, and showed us the progression of Moonyoung’s relationship with the woman.

But why were multiple photos taken? If they were the same woman, why are they still hiding the woman’s face in the photos?

When Go Daehwan killed his wife, he said, “If I die, my daughter will become a monster like you.”

Why was it “my daughter” and not “our daughter?” It’s even odder for Koreans because being a very collectivist society, they don’t claim people or objects as mine. They say “our country,” “our father,” “our daughter” to show unity even when they actually mean “my country,” “my father,” “my daughter.”

Moonyoung insisted she’s an orphan. Technically, when one biological parent dies, the child is an orphan (single orphan). So perhaps Moonyoung’s not wrong. And as explored in my second theory post, she might have been referring to her biological mother. The abusive woman was probably her stepmother.

Go Daehwan told Director Oh that his wife loved Moonyoung “terribly. Very terribly,” and we have Moonyoung who doesn’t want a child to not get jealous over Kangtae’s affection. Judging by the family photos (Moonyoung posing closer to the woman each time), perhaps the stepmother was jealous of the father-daughter relationship and became obsessed with Moonyoung.

Would a child be afraid of their parent because they didn’t want to be hated? I was just afraid my mother would scold me (which was a lot). Right, we can argue that her mother was abusive, but this is something to think about.

Park Haengja: stepmother and crazy aunt

Bluebeard the French folklore, which ep 6 was based on, is about a man who married several times as he killed his disobedient wives. According to Wikipedia, his final wife had invited her sister and others over for a party before she snuck away to explore the forbidden room. Bluebeard found out and was about to kill her on the spot when her sister and brothers arrived to kill Bluebeard.

It was also in ep 6 when Taetae Bros moved in that they specifically had a shot of the dolls in Moonyoung’s old room (the brothers’ new room). I mentioned this previously: one male doll as Go Daehwan, two female dolls in similar dresses as Moonyoung’s mother and stepmother, and one small female doll.

You can see the two dolls behind little Moonyoung in her memory of her father reading her a book.

The dolls are a representation of the Go family in the house because in ep 7, only the small female doll (Moonyoung) was left, and I think there are 2 more new figurines as Taetae Bros on that cabinet but I can’t be bothered to search for a clearer shot 😁

When Go Daehwan strangled little Moonyoung, afraid she would become like her mother, they featured one of the dolls in the shot.

The point of mentioning the dolls is: Moonyoung’s mother wore a similar dress as the dolls in most of the flashbacks.

Ep 13 was based on the Korean folklore The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon and its popular movie adaptation The Tale of Two Sisters (2003). IOTNBO has more links to this story than “the bystander is worse than the abuser.”

In the movie, Moon Geunyoung’s character frequently dressed in floral patterns (like the dolls’ and Moonyoung’s mother’s dresses).

In both the folklore and the movie, the sisters were named after rose and lotus flowers. In the folklore, it’s the sister that died who was named after the rose flower. In the movie, it’s the surviving sister that was named after the rose flower. The rose is also a motif of Moonyoung’s mother.

The flower language of rose is love and passion. Personally, considering how Moonyoung always thought of her mother when she brushed her hair, and her love for a head pat, I think the rose also symbolises her mother’s "affection."

The movie is a story of two sisters who were abused by their stepmother so badly that one of them died. As it turns out, the remaining sister developed dissociative identity disorder (DID; the same disorder as the patient Yoo Sunhae) with two other personalities: her dead sister (Moon Geunyoung’s character) and her stepmother.

I take this as a lead that Moonyoung has a stepmother, who also happens to be her aunt obsessed with her sister. Wicked Witch of the West (WWOTW) coveted Wicked Witch of the East’s (WWOTE) ruby shoes; perhaps the aunt wanted to be in her sister’s shoes, figuratively AND literally.

Now here’s another “coincidence” from the same:

Left: Moon Geunyoung. Right: Im Soojung (sister with DID).

The story Go Daehwan read to little Moonyoung mentioned a bad wizard that wasn’t invited to the birthday party so he went to the castle.

The story Go Daehwan read to little Moonyoung mentioned a bad wizard that wasn’t invited to the birthday party so he/she went to the castle to cause trouble. 

Glinda the Good Witch of the North described WWOTW as worse than WWOTE.

Go Daehwan, who had recognition and memory impairment, said his wife has an angelic face but a devil lives within. Perhaps he remembers two persons as one.

We learnt from Sangin that 1) Do Heejae came from a prestigious family of medical professionals, 2) she dropped out of 3rd year of med school, and 3) she cut ties with everyone in her family. Could she have a sister in nursing? Could she have cut ties with her family because they cray cray (or the good old "you’ll starve with a creative career")?

Park Haengja has not claimed herself as Do Heejae, and the woman in the family photos are still covered.

Following these, we can assume that Park Haengja’s the bad witch who is neither Do Heejae nor Moonyoung’s birth mother. She’s the stepmother and crazy aunt (I cover more about the sisters in the next section).

There’s always a crazy aunt or uncle.

It’s just too easy if Park Haengja really is Do Heejae. I’d also be disappointed in the writer if she takes this route because it’s cliché villain and this is not a makjang drama with illogical plot twists. It would also be a step back from all the efforts this show has been making to dispel stigma against mental illness.

So they were sisters and...

...one of them died. In water. 

As per my first theory, the WWOTW and WWOTE are sisters in some adaptations of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. WWOTE died under a house then disappeared into thin air, and WWOTW pretended to die in contact of water but she returned disguised as a good person. Sound familiar?

The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon is a Korean folklore of a stepmother who abused two sisters to their death. She had her biological son push Janghwa the older sister into a pond and she drowned. The remaining sister couldn’t take the abuse any longer and drowned herself in the same pond.

The song “Oh My Darling Clementine” has a few variations but here’s the traditional lyrics (I removed repeated stanzas):

Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine In a cavern, in a canyon Excavating for a mine Dwelt a miner, forty-niner And his daughter, Clementine Light she was and like a fairy And her shoes were number nine Herring boxes, without topses Sandals were for Clementine Drove she ducklings to the water Ev'ry morning just at nine Hit her foot against a splinter Fell into the foaming brine Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine Ruby lips above the water Blowing bubbles, soft and fine But, alas, I was no swimmer So I lost my Clementine How I missed her! How I missed her How I missed my Clementine But I kissed her little sister I forgot my Clementine

These stories are all about 2 sisters and dying in water. Whether they’re sisters or not, a woman died and she’s related to Go Daehwan somehow.

The Murder of the Witch of the West

Do Heejae’s novel hold huge clues. Here’s my translation of an excerpt from volume 9 shown in ep 10.

… __’s scalp skinned with a hunting knife without hesitation. The corpse’s lips sewed in a fence stitch. The body dismembered with a hand axe and thrown into the trunk. Yooyoung persistently as she watched the back of the West Witch leave unhurriedly after finishing the killing and leaving notes.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Why do you choose to kill happy people only?"

But as usual, there was no answer. Was it because of Yooyoung’s tenacity to catch the West Witch? Yooyoung always sees the West Witch at the crime scenes. A faceless woman who always observed Yooyoung work hard on finding the criminal before leaving abruptly. Yooyoung began to look at the crime scene from the criminal's perspective. Why here? Why kill by stabbing this way? As she simulates the crime, Yooyoung finds herself assimilating with the criminal. She felt a thrill from imagining that she stabbed and cut the victim. She’s getting confused. Is she a detective or a murderer?

Around the same time, a murder occurred. The West Witch mimicked a passage from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, everything was in line with the Wicked Witch of the West, right down to the signature butterfly design. However, Yooyoung somehow felt guilty.

...

The suspect was a middle-aged woman in her 40s.

Yeah.

The misunderstanding

Othello killed his wife because he mistook his wife for committing adultery.

Romeo and Juliet mistook each other’s plan. Romeo died from drinking real poison, and Juliet faked her death before realising the mistake and killed herself with Romeo’s dagger.

Janghwa was framed and wrongfully accused by her stepmother for being unchaste. Her father believed it. When Janghwa ran away, her stepmother and stepbrother chased after her, and her stepbrother (under her stepmother’s instruction) pushed her into a pond to drown to her death.

What did Go Daehwan misunderstand? What misunderstanding did his recognition and memory impairment cause? Why was his wife being crazy but looked so shocked when he turned her around?

I do not believe that his memory of killing his wife is a complete memory because it has been mentioned multiple times that his memories are corrupted. I think it’s fragments of different memories pieced together.

What’s going on with Park Haengja?

There are a few possibilities.

Park Haengja is Do Heejae’s sister who coveted her sister’s position and grew obsessed with her sister’s novel.

Do Heejae’s Moonyoung’s biological mother and Park Haengja’s her stepmother.

OR Moonyoung’s biological mother died when she was born, Do Heejae’s the stepmother (abusive but still her mother because she raised Moonyoung), and Park Haengja’s the obsessive aunt.

She got so obsessed she came to believe she’s Do Heejae.

So obsessed she was always keeping an eye on Moonyoung to fulfil the prophecy that is the novel. ("You’re my greatest creation," and volume 3, shown in episode 10 with Park Ok Ran’s copy, has passages that describes episode 3.)

Park Haengja’s the one who killed Taetae Bros’ mother (screenshots of Do Heejae vs murderer below).

She took advantage of Go Daehwan’s cognitive impairment and instigated him to kill the real Do Heejae. She’s the one who saw Go Daehwan kill the woman and hide her in the basement.

Do Heejae wore her butterfly brooch on right, the murderer wore it on the left. Do Heejae always wore red nail polish and a gold rose ring, the murderer did not (although she could have had them removed if it’s premeditated).

Moonyoung’s mother:

Murderer:

Moonyoung’s mother:

Murderer:

Clearly Do Heejae didn’t wear her brooch all the time, so it would have been easy to steal the brooch. However, Do Heejae wore her ring all the time, so Park Haengja can only get the ring after she dies and "truly” become Do Heejae.

End.

I think I recovered most of my points but they’re still feel incomplete 😭

Let me know your thoughts 😊

#psycho but it's okay #it's okay to not be okay #kdrama #kim soohyun #seo yeji #oh jungse #jang young nam #i just refuse to believe she's do heejae #that's too simple for this drama

[dragynkeep]

If you were to incorporate/show Blake's bisexuality into the show, when and how would you go about it?

it’s a hard road to take, especially when trying to avoid stereotypes & take into account blake’s reticent, avoidant personality when she’s struggling to open up. but there are a few ways to put in hints at the beginning that she is bisexual, without falling into the “she has to date a girl to be counted as bi”, because plenty of bi women have dated only men, have a majority male lean & shouldn’t be considered “lesser” bisexuals for this.

have some of the books seen in the dorm room be wlw romances. not all women who read wlw romances are sapphic but i would argue a majority are.

hints here & there about potential crushes on girls, maybe some in her past? she doesn’t have to of dated any of them but this goes a way in establishing that she is bisexual.

hell, just have blake outright say it. it doesn’t have to use the label, though that’s always appreciated, but it could easily be as simple as i like boys & girls. i like people. i don’t want to choose. all her life she’s felt like she’s had to choose between her morals & wants, the white fang or peace, & in her relationships blake doesn’t have to choose. as far as we know, lgbtphobia isn’t a thing in remnant, there should be no weird stigma around blake just mentioning this when she gets more comfortable with her team mates.

if they truly struggle to confirm blake in the show without falling into the biphobic trap of it only counts if she dates a woman? go the vivziepop route, or their own established route with some characters. have the writers, the people who’s words are actually canon, confirm her sexuality. hell, just have them give a thumbs up to arryn if needs be. this is an exceptionally lazy route but one they’ve trodden before with little uproar from the fndm.

one thing i dislike about blake’s current shipping route & the way rt & arryn have chosen to handle blake’s bisexuality [beyond arryn calling blake a lesbian in the early volumes which is yikes if she always wanted her to be bi], is that it seems to hinge on blake dating a woman, specifically yang. that unless blake gets with a woman, she’s not bisexual & therefore they’ve been queerbaited. that arryn baiting this potential bisexuality over & over & over throughout the years, to the point it’s still not confirmed [because that “confirmation” in the livestream was recinded when barbara & lindsey reiterated it was arryn’s headcanon, not word of god or actual written canon] is harmful & hurtful to blake’s bisexual fans.

we want to see ourselves represented in rwby, we’ve been waiting now for 8 years. we potentially have the cotta arcs but they’re unconfirmed wlw [unknown whether lesbian, bi, pan, etc] & therefore not specific representation. it’s unfair to string along your bisexual audience for years, let your vas run amok with promises, & then only validate it while reinforcing the harmful notion that bisexual women only matter when we date women. blake, if they truly always wanted her to be bisexual, should’ve been confirmed from the very beginning. hell, could’ve even been confirmed when she was being romantically linked with sun !

bisexual women, a majority of us, tend to date men. we fall in love with men, we settle down with men & this attraction to men often gets us demonised by two communities that want us to fit a strict mold & follow the script. biphobic straight people want us to settle down with men & biphobic lgbt people want us to settle with women & rid ourselves of our “straight passing privilege.” it hurts from straight people but even more from people who are supposed to be our community.

i went on a bit of a tangent there but yeah. it would’ve been so easy to confirm blake as bisexual long ago & for some reason, possibly biphobic ones with even arryn herself having internalized biphobia with her reasonings, they just haven’t. & that sucks. because i know a lot of bisexual people want to feel represented in blake & just canonically ... aren’t.

#rwby #blake belladonna #bisexual representation #owl.txt #answered #yeah i have a lot of thoughts on this lmao #Anonymous

[rametarin]

Just venting. Pocketed for your convenience.

you can still reblog if you agree but these are just private gripes I’m angry about from certain discourse.

“Empathetic” Citizen: “Why are so many depicted male friendships so heteronormative, stoic, dispassionate and hypersexual towards women? Why won’t our society allow men and boys physical contact or to cry? We need more role models and examples of male intimacy that aren’t bonding over a mutual sexual attraction to women and typical ‘rough boy things.’ We need more characters in fiction in our culture of boys that aren’t afraid to express their feelings and touch and be open.“

Person: “Here’s my work. It features an open friendship between two males. They hug and hold hands sometimes and don’t let modern notions of homophobia dictate their ability to cry, show emotion or display intimacy with people around them!”

One God Damned Demon: “OMG YAAAAAS KWEERN, SLAAAY.” immediately begins masturbating, breathing heavily and nasally. “THEY’RE SO. FUCKING. GAAAAYUURRGHGGGHH! MMMMMM!!! QUEER ICONS! QUEEEEER ICONS! SO FUCKING QUEEEEEEER! Oh god I need a cigarette! BIG FAGS! MMM! Big FAG characters! So KWEER! omg baes! They’re GAY and we all know it, look at them, those big fucking fags! I bet [Character #1] is a delicate top but [Character #2] is a bratty bottom!” WHEEEEZE. WHEEEEEZE. WHEEEEEEEZE. “HNNGH. Those heteronormic standards are DISINTEGRATING. Love WINS! Take THAT cisheteronormic PATRIARCHY!”

Another God Damned Demon: “We really need to have a conversation about how cavalier these boys are about touching people without being asked. Statistics show most domestic abusers and men whom abuse women have problems with societal norms saying it’s okay for men to touch women the way they are allowed to touch one another. We need to challenge these toxic notions that say men aren’t inherently a danger to those that aren’t men.”

Person: “Actually my characters are straight and what in the heck is this nonsense about, ‘boys being entitled to physical intimacy’? Boys are so touch starved growing up in this society that their mental health suffers for it because there’s such a stigma against physical intimacy with a man, due to fear of sexual exploitation. And they just accept that as men, because it’s better to be personally touch starved than allow a stranger, a predator, the societal norms necessary to get close enough to feed. It has NEVER been okay for men to just draw off and touch women! It’s been a societal taboo to show any proactive physical intimacy with a woman or even one another for DECADES now. What are you talking about!? The work isn’t even OUT YET, and the way it depicts boys is exactly what some of you were pining for! Not so standard depictions of male affection and interactions that aren’t all about women but also aren’t gay, either! This is EXACTLY what some of you claimed to want for boys to be able to do!!!”

One God Damned Demon: “HOW DAAARE YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US. Bet you just want to sell it in China and Russia, you homophobic SELL-OUT! QUEER baiter! Executive meddler! FALSE ally!! HOMOPHOBE!! You CLEARLY depicted them as gay boys!! The context. No STRAIGHT boys act like that in THIS culture and society!! Educate yourself!”

Person: “I’m CHALLENGING gender and societal norms! Do you realize how difficult it is to depict platonic, heterosexual male intimacy at all!?! The only time men are ALLOWED to be intimate and tender is if they’re gay! As EVIDENCED. RIGHT. HERE! They aren’t allowed ANYTHING. The stigma for boys to feel anything BUT angry or they must be gay is a real problem. And you’re fucking angry that not all depicted male relationships are either minimized or gay!?”

Another God Damned Demon: “Ohhh they want to be ‘oppressed’ so bad.”

One God Damned Demon: “And you never said they WEREN’T gay!! So it’s MY headcanon that they are! And if I EVER get the chance to take up writing them on a professional basis, FUCK YOU and what YOU say, they’re GAY!! I’ll DEPICT THEM the way they were ALWAYS INTENDED TO BE if I must, and it’ll be canon, and you’ll just have to go fuck yourself! Death of the Author is a thing! You very CLEARLY coded them based on things I consider to be objectively gay in subjective culture!!”

Person: “Lesson learned by what I’m not allowed to do. From now on I won’t make the mistake of portraying boys as having feelings or being intimate while being masculine and heterosexual, because clearly every opportunity in media to portray that is seen as a lost opportunity for them to be gay. I’ll make very clear they’re jaw-droppingly attracted to women, and women exclusively, like a wolf in a Tex Avery cartoon, and I’ll make sure they don’t even give the audience a fucking WHIFF of physical intimacy or feelings beyond what they’re allowed to feel in order to be “proper straight men,” according to You God Damned Demons, because that just means they’re gay or bi. Because god fucking forbid you damned demons don’t fill in the gaps however you want and then argue with me, the creator, about my own characters, their intent and my meaning with them and my work.”

One God Damned Demon: “These are OUR characters. We adopted them. They belong to society. And we say they’re gay.”

Another God Damned Demon: “It’s not our fault you don’t know how culture affects society and how society affects your subconscious expression of culture. Educate yourself.”

[thehollowprince]

The way Mason Hewitt gets utterly erased by fandom, replaced by Theo to be Liam's friend and anchor. And I think one reason he's left out of fic so much is because as we've discussed he is basically Fanon!Stiles. And to have him around in a story with Fanon!Stiles would look suspicious because... they're the same, except Stiles is actually nothing like fanon. And they'd rather *die* than portray intimate scenes with Mason because they find Black people disgusting to be frank (pt. 1)

and I've seen it in every fandom. They gush about loving ~the gays~ but ignore canon gay/bi boys, esp if they're PoC. And it's all about straight yt boys boning, and what they get off on. And because they don't find Black or Brown ppl attractive, they get no love scenes. Mason was openly thirsting for Brett, but fandom was silent because "eww, canon Black gay expressing lust healthily?" And this is what we mean when white fangirls fetishize gay/bi male ships/dynamics (pt. 2)

And I touched on that yt fangirls will misappropriate progressive language when it suits their agenda. Like dismissing Scott as a "cishet yt boy" yet worshipping Stiles + Derek. And they often try to make that worship seem progressive by claiming Stiles or Derek are nonwhite/Jewish, or claiming werewolves are a allegorical oppressed group (no) yet ignore Scott is Brown *PLUS* he's a werewolf too, so they claim he's an intruder on ~werewolf culture~ and a colonizer (final)

You are not wrong in any aspect.

We've talked ad nauseam about the appropriation of mlm sexuality and giving it to the straight, white characters. And as you said, its almost exclusively the white fangirls who get off to two guys together rather in the same way that straight men get odd to lesbian porn. The fact that they don't see that they're just doing the very same thing that they hate men for doing is... well, sad is the first word that pops into my mind.

I know you don't watch any of the SKAM shows, but I experienced a similar problem over there. By far the most popular storyline across any of the remakes is the season three story, that being a closeted gay man coming to terms with his sexuality and embracing it rather than trying to suppress it. But the thing is, if you actually go through the tags, that's not the sense you get at all. Most of the people that watch these shows, or at the very least the ones who are the most vocal in the tags, are only focused on the romance in the story.

They didn't care the actual struggles of being in the closet and the journey that character has to go on to accept themselves. They just wanted to see two boys kissing. That became very apparent during the last remake to do that story, WTFOCK. They changed up the timeline and didn't introduce the love interest until the third episode, and those three weeks were just filled with constant complaints. This was further compounded when we saw the main character, Robbe, do what a lot of closeted young people do, and he tried to have a relationship with a girl, hoping that it would "make him normal". The tags were littered with homophobic jokes about how Robbe was "secretly straight" and it was extremely disheartening, especially from the fandom of a show that preached acceptance.

And you can't call them out on this behavior. I did and half the fandom blocked me because I, an actual gay man, wouldn't let a bunch of horny fangirls be the voice of a gay man's struggle. I was also bugged down with anons (similar to the one that's haunting my inbox right now) claiming that the reason they were so keen on the love interest showing up was because he was a "healthy representation of mental illness". Of course, they then went about proving how much they didn't actually care about that by spending the entire season trying to diagnose Sander at every opportunity, but the romanticizing of mental illness is another matter entirely.

To circle back to the point, we were given actual, healthy mlm representation on Teen Wolf, but fandom outright ignores it in favor of focusing on a non-existent relationship that was based entirely on negative stereotypes. But that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? They don't care how their behavior actually affects gay and bisexual men, so long as they get their own sexual satisfaction. You point out how having an adult and a minor in a relationship just reinforces the predatory gay pedophile stereotype that the Christian Far Right have tried to categorize us as for decades (if not longer) and they cry "it's just fiction!" But these same people talk about the stigma of unhealthy body types for women because the girls of these shows are skinny and petite while able to run marathons and fight of almost anything.

This is never more prominent than when they continously call for more LGBT representation, always mlm and never wlw, and then go out of their way to ignore that representation because it wasn't what they wanted (ie. completely thowing out their stories for Stiles and Derek and devoting everything to making them a couple, often at the expense of everything else.)

The term double-standards clearly means nothing to them.

And we could shout until our voices are gone about the racism in this fandom, but those who perpetuate it don't care enough to listen. They don't want to hear how them going out of their way to erase or put down Scott, the Latino lead of the show, at every opportunity is racist. They don't want to hear how them taking all of Scott's most prominent attributes (his compassion and loyalty and persistence) and giving them to Stiles to make him more palatable is racist. They don't want to hear how them completely ignoring the canon gay characters, who are also characters of color, in favor of taking straight characters and "turning them gay" is not only racist but homophobic.

They don't want to hear any of that. They want to live in their little fantasy world where everyone recognizes their genius and that they right all along. The real kicker is that I'd be more than happy to leave them alone in their own little world, but they refuse to be put out to pasture, hence the reason Athena is still jumping on pro-Scott posts, or that someone posted anti Scott content in the Scott McCall tag, or the ever present anon. They refuse to leave us alone so we have to rehash these same arguments over and over in the futile hopes that maybe this time it'll stick.

#russianspacegeckosexparty #fandom homophobia #fandom racism #teen wolf fandom problems #scott mccall defense squad #mason hewitt deserved better #danny mahealani deserved better

[cassandracaiin]

Gary’s Mental Health: An Analysis of His Character.

Spoilers ahead.

If you play Love Island The Game 2019 and make it to Day 26, you stumble upon a concerned Gary, who is sitting by himself. After a brief chat, he proceeds to tell your MC that he’s had some problems with how he felt about his body in the past. He often comes across a simple guy, who is always bantering and fooling around, and most players tend to think that he only talks about his nan and cranes, so the sudden seriousness of this conversation may have seemed odd for some of you. Despite this, the unexpected confession he makes didn’t go unnoticed by the fandom, with many starting to appreciate him more because of it.

Few realize how important and revealing this conversation is. If you connect the right dots across the whole game, it helps to explain lots of his actions, beliefs and behavior. So, in this analysis I’ll be doing that: I’ll be providing you with all the information you’ll need to understand the subject, inserting exact quotes of the game and breaking down some crucial scenes. Because of this, this post will be really long, so get comfy, grab some snacks and prepare for an extensive reading.

Before starting, I must remind you that Gary is, indeed, a fictional character. That’s why I’ll be analyzing quotes and scenes straight out of the game and trying not to speculate furthermore. I think it’s interesting to tie the traits and personality of a fictional character to real life psychology and mental health, so this will be me basically explaining his condition and relating it to his canon personality and actions. Also, in some portions of this post I’ll be applying “real world rules”, because his mental illness is a real thing that happens in the real world.

I’ll go as far as to say that, after reading this entire rant, you’ll probably never see Gary the same way again— but that’s okay, because he’s such a layered character who also used to struggle with a mental illness and, instead of mental illnesses being a taboo topic, they should be met with open arms and discussed overtly and sincerely.

Mental Illness Warning/Trigger.

As I mentioned before, Gary’s condition is a real thing, so this post contains several mentions of mental health related topics and illnesses. If you feel uncomfortable about this type of things, I advise you not to keep reading. I’ll try to keep it as light and understandable as possible, regardless. Those who want to dive deeper should check the links I’ll leave at the end of the post.

This is a heavy topic, but I strongly believe it should be addressed. Even more importantly, I want to spread awareness, because, as you will read further ahead, this is still an under-recognized and frequently left untreated condition, that is becoming more and more common all around the world.

Disclaimer: I’m not a psychiatrist, but I am a med student. I’ve had classes and training about mental health and, specifically, about Gary’s condition. I’ll be leaving some extra sources and additional content down below, for those who are interested in verifying the information that I’ll be breaking down for you. Also, I’m open to receive feedback about it from someone who could know more than me, such as a doctor or a psychiatrist, because, as I said, I’m still just a med student.

So, without further do, let’s get started.

What does Gary have?

After reading the conversation he has with MC in Day 26, Gary’s evident diagnosis is Muscle Dysmorphia. We’ll be using the acronym MD to refer to it from now on.

What is MD?

MD is a subtype of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

What is a BDD, you may ask? It’s a condition in which people see themselves differently than others see them, and it’s characterized by persistent and intrusive preoccupations with one's appearance, that are really difficult to resist or control. These unwanted thoughts or ideas (called “obsessions”) make them feel that they need to perform certain activities (called “compulsions”). When applied to MD, the obsession becomes the level of muscularity, and the compulsion is to achieve a higher level of muscularity.

MD comes with the exaggerated belief that one's own body is too small, too skinny or scrawny, even though the individual's build is normal or exceptionally large and muscular already. Is often confused with vanity, but this is not the case, as most MD patients don't want to look great, they just want to look acceptable. Typically, people with MD have low self-esteem. It can be experienced by either males or females, but in this post I’ll be addressing the patients as males, because I will be also relating it to unhealthy masculinity.

What causes MD? It doesn’t have a specific cause, but there are factors that could help its development. Most studies sustain that suffering from bullying for smallness or weakness is the most frequent trait in MD patients. Some also attribute this disorder to the effect of the media, as society bombards people at younger ages with images of what an “ideal” body looks like, even more considering how marketing campaigns once targeting only female body image insecurities are now aimed at males as well. Because of this, MD is likely to increase in general population.

Does it have a treatment? Yes, it does. Most are treated with therapy that targets damaging behavior, as for example, cut down on the amount of time they’re checking themselves in the mirror or in the gym, which helps them think less about their appearance. Therapists also help them deal with the fears they might have, like possibly losing muscle mass or size if they exercise less.

Many do not seek treatment; the biggest hurdle is convincing the person with MD that he needs help. The psychological and social consequences often go unrecognized, especially because they usually appear to be in good health, at least in the short term. To properly address MD, society has to change in how we approach our body image in general. Traditionally, males are not supposed to be concerned with looks, let alone talk about them, because if they do, they will be viewed as “feminine”. Encouraging men to talk about their inner feelings is a good first step to bring down stigmas about their body image.

How does MD affect someone’s life?

People with MD engage in behaviors aimed at achieving a muscular physique, as I mentioned earlier. They include excessive exercise, following rigid diets, and also spending countless amounts of money in supplements. Sometimes, they may also use anabolic-androgenic steroids (I’ll be referring to them as “AAS”), which cause serious damage to the body if used excessively.

Low self-esteem is a crucial factor here. People with MD try to enhance their self-esteem by building muscular mass, but they keep feeling that is never enough. “Every muscle could be bigger. I could be leaner” they tell themselves. They look at the mirror and they feel like everything is still small and weak, that they’re ugly, that they have no chest muscles, no arm muscles, no abs— And the reality is that they are often huge and incredibly muscular. Some of them also touch, flex, poke or pinch their muscles a lot, to make sure that they haven’t lost size.

Their relationships with other people often fall apart as time passes. They frequently avoid important social or occupational activities, like going to family reunions or to work, because of the need to maintain their excessive exercise and rigid diet.

How does one draw the line between being fitness or having MD? Believe it or not, Gary explains it in the game. He says, “I was really shocked when the doctor told me that if it’s getting in the way of the rest of your life, then it’s a problem”. Certainly, when working out and obsessing about the body becomes a problem in the person’s life, along with having these bad thoughts about themselves, it’s better to seek help and ask a health professional about it.

So, why is Day 26 so relevant?

Day 26 is important for Gary’s character because it tells us a huge lot of things about him and his past. Across his dialogue there are so many details that few people seem to truly notice, so I’ll be breaking down this day for you.

Let’s start analyzing this day from the beginning, with it being the first conversation MC has with Gary. She finds him sitting alone by the pool, rubbing his upper arm. After greeting her, he flexes his bicep and then pokes at it. If MC asks him if he is worried about his gains, he surprisingly responds “Yeah, I am a bit”. In comparison to the rest of his answers, this is the one that tells us that the reason he is bummed out is because of how he feels about his body, rather than how he actually looks.

Next, he asks “Do you think I look as good as I did when we first met?”. After seeing him acting this way, we can notice that he is looking for reassurance, but even if MC answers that he looks better every day, he responds with things like “Thanks! It’s nice to have that support, even if I don’t think it’s true” and “I never believe anyone when they say I look buff”. As you probably read in this post, this is a common trait amongst individuals with MD. Even when people around them tell them that they are big, muscular, huge and so on, they never truly believe it themselves because they just can’t see themselves in that way—the person that looks back at them in the mirror is still somewhat skinny. And here’s a huge clarification: Gary knows that people think he is buff, but he doesn’t see it himself, and that’s why he doesn’t exactly believe it.

At this point, I think Gary is starting to notice that the chat could turn to a topic that he’s not ready to talk about yet, because he seems to divert the conversation by saying that the reason he doesn’t believe he’s buff is because he simply doesn’t want to get big-headed about it, and that thinking this way keeps him motivated. But even with those modest answers, he’s still letting us know that he’s always aiming at improving his physique.

And after that, he flexes his arm again. If you payed attention, you may have noticed a pattern here, which is another common characteristic of MD patients: the one where they have the compulsion to feel and touch their muscles, as a way of making sure they’re not as skinny as they think they are.

Gary finishes the chat by commenting lightheartedly “Those weights aren’t going to lift themselves” and walking off in the direction of the gym. This bit actually makes me sad, because it leads me to think that he gave in to the compulsion of going to the gym.

After the challenge, MC meets him again and he, indeed, says “I started to do some weights, but then I had to check my head a bit”, indicating that after compulsively going to the gym, he realized that he wasn’t working out for the right reasons and what was actually driving him to exercise were the intrusive thoughts of his MD. Beyond that, this is also a sign that he can actually distinguish between his normal and healthy interest in working out and the compulsions caused by MD.

Later in the conversation, he explains that it all started when he used to see this massive and muscular superheroes in comics and noticed he didn’t look like them, because he was small, even smaller than the rest of the kids at school. He tells MC, “I’d look at those superheroes, and then back at myself. I didn’t look like them”. This is a clear reference to the media influencing the development of BBD’s and specially MD in younger boys.

It’s evident that at this point in his life he began to believe that having a muscular body would be a solution to his problems, and you can confirm that in this phrase: “It can feel like everything is telling you, things will be better if you’re stronger or more muscly”. And after his nan stepped in to take on the role of his dad, the bullying towards him increased, which just made this belief even stronger. “And whenever someone would say something to me, I’d wish I was bigger and stronger than them so they wouldn’t dare” he states, following with “So when I got older, I started working out”.

Gary goes on to say that exercising didn’t help on the long run. “At first, working out made a huge difference. I started to feel more confident. I felt like I could stick up for myself, and I got a lot more positive comments. People started to notice me in a good way, you know?” he declares. He basically tells MC that he started building his self-esteem around his physique, rather than around his inner self.

“The problem is, it never felt enough”. We see here, once again, a classic trait of people suffering from MD.

After this, comes a phrase that got me thinking: “Especially once I left school and had more time and money”. When reading this, I asked myself why having more money was relevant in things going downhill for Gary. By this point, he had already been working out and probably paying for the gym membership anyway, so I figured that this “new” money could have gone elsewhere, maybe in buying supplements to grow muscle mass faster. I can’t rule out completely the possibility that he got to the point of using AAS, but giving his personality and recovery I don’t think he went that far. Or at least I hope he didn’t.

“I kept going to the gym even when I knew I’d been going too much” he continues “It was actually my nan who noticed things were getting out of hand”. For this, us Gary fans should feel grateful. This is one of the billion reasons why he loves his nan so much. The woman rescued him from sinking deeper into his disorder, she was the only one who noticed that he wasn’t in a good place and that working out was actually tearing his life apart. She could see right through the healthy and good looking muscular man she had in front of him, as nobody else was able to see that he was still just a scrawny insecure boy on the inside. This was probably one of the lowest points in his life, if not the lowest, and his nan pulled him up and stuck with him through it all.

Afterwards, Gary states again that he struggled when it came to stop exercising. “I’d hurt my wrist cos I was lifting more than I should, but I didn’t rest or stop lifting so the problem just kept getting worse” he says “Eventually it got so bad that I had to take time off work, but I was still trying to go to the gym because I couldn’t stand missing sessions”. Even if he wanted to stop, the compulsions and unwanted thoughts took over him and he kept going to the gym.

When being asked if he couldn’t see how bad the situation was, Gary answers with “Being so strong and tough was so important to me that it felt like I couldn’t ask for help”, yet again being a reference of the way society influences young men, leading them to believe that being masculine and strong means also not talking about one’s feelings, less opening to others about one’s insecurities.

When talking about his therapy, he explains that once he started speaking about how he felt, he could see everything more clearly. He says “I’d lost sight of why I wanted to be so buff before. I couldn’t see that it wasn’t good for me”. Indeed, at first he wanted to get more muscular to enhance his self-esteem, to make himself feel better and gain confidence, but at that point it had become an actual disorder, getting in the middle of his life, getting him injured and making him stop going to work, amongst other things. Focusing on his body was actually making him feel worse because it came along with the sensation that he wasn’t making progress, even after all the time and effort he’d put into being more muscular. He also comments “By that point, I was like, ‘mate, working out is my life’”, this also being a characteristic of patients with MD, as their obsession takes over their life.

To wrap this section of this post, let’s talk shortly about his recovery. Gary says that his wrist eventually healed and that he kept going to therapy. “It took a while, but now I know when I’m doing something for the right reasons” he tells MC “It’s a constant balance though. You have to keep working on it”. After starting therapy, he understood that he can keep working out and caring about his looks without it taking over his life again or making him feel worse about his image, but that he will always have to maintain a certain equilibrium, so he doesn’t get out of control again.

“It’s okay for me to work out and be active, but I have to check in with myself. If those thoughts start coming back I know to call up my GP and get talking again”. This phrases are a total relief, as they let us know that he has learned when to seek help and, more importantly, to read the signs of his own mind telling him about his MD thoughts coming back. It’s even more relieving when he finishes with “I can still have tough moments, but I’m so much better at working through them now”.

Overall, Day 26 makes us realize that he hasn’t always been as confident as he seems, less felt good about his body image. It gives his character more depth; he’s not just a lighthearted lad that talks about cranes, makes dad jokes and loves his nan anymore. And reading between lines helps us get an even fuller picture of what he went through and the state he is in now.

How do MD and his past affect Gary’s general behavior?

After all that information, let’s start this with something simpler. I’m going to name a few stressful events for Gary during his time at the Villa: the morning after the first recoupling, Lucas and Henrik’s arrival and all the girls-pick recouplings.

Where is he after all those events? You guessed it, he’s at the gym.

I have been asked if this is him working out to relieve anxiety, but I’m not sure if it’s always the case. Of course, he mentions that for him there’s nothing like burning off some tension in the gym, so most times he could be working out to clear his mind and to feel less stressed out.

Despite this, in other situations and considering his condition, it could be also him starting to feel insecure about himself. It’s likely that when he begins feeling that way, those bad thoughts about his body image and compulsions, caused by MD, start to come back, so he can’t avoid going to the gym to make sure he doesn’t lose body mass and muscle. Because of his MD, he could have the sensation that, if he loses size, bad things will happen to him—girls won’t pick him at the recouplings, people will start to make fun of him again for being small, he’ll look less attractive in comparison to the rest of the male Islanders and so on. Having all of this in consideration, in some cases I actually think it’s him still struggling with insecurity and his MD, rather than just anxiety and stress.

There is a moment in the game that got me confused at first, but after thinking about it I was able to figure out what was really going on. It happens when MC goes to spot the boys at the gym and, during the conversation, Rahim points out “See! I told you your form was off, Gary”, which makes the corners of Gary’s lips turn upside down. “All right, settle down. I don’t usually use a gym, okay” he responds and strikes a pose, flexing “This is all natural…”. I’m sure that in this moment he was lying. From what he confessed in Day 26, we know he’s been working out since his teens (remember that he’s 23, so he has at least been doing it for five or six years), so it’s obvious that his body built is not exactly natural, more so if we consider that he used to get bullied for being too small. In this situation and with a recoupling coming soon, he probably didn’t want to get embarrassed by Rahim’s comment in front of MC, so he blurted out some excuse, basically saying that his bad form is technically product of him being unexperienced. Again, we see him being insecure.

Now, I’m not saying that him being at the gym and working out is always a bad thing. In fact, he it looks like he has fun and socializes with the rest of the boys when they’re all exercising together. He seems to have a good balance of how much time he spends there and, most importantly, knows when to stop. We notice this when he tells MC things like “There’s nothing like burning off some tension in the gym. But I need to have some other ways to deal with how I’m feeling too” and “I don’t want to end up just going to the gym whenever I’m bored or stressed out about something else”. The thing is, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we find him at the gym after stressful events, even more when you have in mind that he doesn’t want to go there with the sole purpose of relieving stress.

So, we see Gary often flexing his muscles, right? I actually think this behavior of his has two sides. As you may have read earlier in this post, people with MD have this tendency to touch their muscles a lot. I think that in situations of stress like Day 26 this could be the case for him. But the other side of it, and the most important one in my opinion, is that this adds a cheeky, playful and confident aspect to his character. It lets us know that he enjoys the attention and that he likes to show off.

Now, it’s certain that him showing off means that his recovering has been really successful so far, knowing that people with MD tend to avoid showing their body to others because they are ashamed of the way they look. The fact that he’s in a swimming suit during the entire show, being recorded for national TV and knowing millions of people are watching, is a huge signal that he feels significantly better about his body and image. He has learned to love and appreciate his body in some way, hence the question he so often asks, so cheekily “Like what you see?” and he feels proud enough to show it off. The fact that he knows he’s attractive to others makes all the difference for his self-image, even if he doesn’t necessarily believe it himself. And, trust me, that with him being a MD patient it took him a lot to get where he is now in terms of confidence and feeling comfortable in his own skin.

Moving to another topic, something that always caught my attention is that Gary is constantly worrying about others. We see this in cases like when he comforts Lottie after Hannah gets dumped from the Island or when he pulls her for a chat when he notices that she’s stressed out about the Rocco situation, when he offers Chelsea a tissue after he sees her crying over the gossip-sneezer drama, all of the moments he demonstrates being protective of MC’s feelings when they’re coupled up and even during his Mr. Love Island speech. His type also includes a girl who cares about others and doesn’t get involved in drama, to match his personality. After analyzing his past, we understand why he is always trying to reach out when another Islander feels sad and why he is one of the first ones to offer a helping hand. It’s mainly because there was a time in his life when he struggled with getting help for feeling bad about himself and wished someone had reached out to him in a similar way. He knows that people could be struggling internally without anyone noticing, just like it happened to him.

I’m sure that during his stay in the Villa, Gary tries his best not to hurt anyone. An example of this is his chat with MC after he lies about kissing Marisol. He feels bad about it and promises to apologize to her, and the players don’t get frowns for calling him out as a signal that he owns his mistake. Another example is if MC chooses to couple with him in Day 9, right after the recoupling Gary tells her that he feels bad for Lottie, because he knows that she fancies him. He says, with a sad expression “I feel bad that I’m here treading on someone’s toes, but I guess that’s what it’s about, right? I just hope everyone here finds someone that wants to be with them, long term”.

If you’ve gone this far in this post, I’m sure that by now you may have a few questions about his overall personality, so to finish this segment I’ll answer the most relevant ones:

Is Gary’s confident personality a facade? I’m one hundred percent sure it is not, especially considering that he has a cheeky sense of humor and that he likes to show off. In my opinion, he acts this way because he has learned that confidence is good. That his body is good enough to show, and that his personality, stories and awful jokes are worth sharing with others. It’s incredibly healthy for him to feel this way about himself.

Is Gary fragile? My answer to this is yes and no. Why yes? It’s mainly because we still see him acting insecure across the game and because he will always have traces of low self-esteem, giving his condition. He will be always more likely to overthink about his physical appearance and more prone to feel poorly about himself when he compares himself to more muscular men. Why no, then? Because after the end of the chat with him at Day 26, he states that now he knows when to seek help, how to maintain a balance on his exercising habits and that, overall, he has accepted his illness. He doesn’t get hijacked by bad thoughts about himself anymore and he seems to know the boundary that distinguishes a benign interest in physical appearance from the bad thoughts that come along with MD, which makes him less prone to come back to that low point he reached in the past.

Relationships.

Now I’m going to make a few comments about his main relationships while in the Villa, with them being his relationship with Lottie and his relationship with MC.

We never know for sure if he eventually tells Lottie about his past, but I have the feeling that he doesn’t, especially because in Day 26 he tells MC “I don’t always tell people why she’s (his nan) so important in my life. And now you know”, suggesting that maybe she is the only one in the Villa that has this information as of now.

Either way, the thing that bothers me about the way the Lottie-Gary ship is written is that most of the time we see them arguing and not agreeing in lots of things. In some cases, this could be considered “cute” or “entertaining”, but it isn’t when you notice Gary confesses a few times that it worries him and has him on edge, saying that he can never know how Lottie is going to react to things or wondering in what mood she’s going to be in. As a clarification, I’m not debating in whether Lottie is unstable or not, because it really doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. What matters in this case is that Gary perceives her being that way.

The constant uncertainty of his partner’s behavior could harm Gary in the long run, as we know that he is still attending to therapy sessions and going through bad days from time to time, and without someone who he can know for sure will support him and reassuring him whenever he needs, things could start to get more difficult for him to handle.

Moving to his relationship with MC, if you have done a Gary playthrough, you know that he constantly tells her that he doesn’t feel like a weirdo when he is around her and, basically, that he feels that he can be himself. If we take in consideration his history and personality, this makes a huge difference for him, as we’ve seen him get to the point of lying so he doesn’t get embarrassed in front of the girls. When being in a relationship with MC, he is finally able to let go of some of his insecurities and stops worrying about how other girls perceive him.

So, moving past that, I just wanted to quickly point out something about their relationship that seems interesting to me. In one of the gem scenes, Gary tells MC “My nan would like you. You keep me in check. She’d say I need someone like that around”. I couldn’t help but notice that he uses the same verb in the past when referring to him getting his thoughts straight by differentiating between the intrusive beliefs caused by his MD and what is actually real. This could be his way of telling MC that she keeps him grounded, that he could never feel insecure when being with her and that she, somehow, helps him to keep away the bad thoughts about himself. And of course his nan would like that—she’d love seeing his grandson with someone who he feels safe with. Because of this, I think that his relationship with MC is by far the healthiest one he could have in the Villa, and even in the playthroughs when they’re not a couple, the reason being that he opens to her about his past either way.

In conclusion.

I think it’s really interesting the way Fusebox tried to insert real life troubles and conditions into their characters. For me, this made a big difference when playing the game, because the majority of the characters feel real, specially in comparison to Season 1; whether you like a character or not, we all have to agree that every single one of them has a very defined personality and behavior, and that is a compelling aspect of the gameplay.

I also like the way they made the Love Island boys break stereotypes and dismiss toxic masculinity. In Gary’s case, we see this reflected in him being always open and sincere with his feelings, having him making subtle comments like “Sometimes we all need a little cry. Nothing wrong with that”.

Because of everything I’ve written in this post, I could say that the fandom is not wrong when they classify Gary as being soft. He is, indeed, a softie—the softest boy in the Villa, in my opinion. But he is not just that. He is also incredibly emotionally intelligent, as he learned how to overcome his mental disorder, how to communicate and accept his feelings and how to reach out to others and offer them help, amongst a billion of other things. We see him also being very mature for his age, with many pointing out that he seems older than he actually is. I can’t deny that most of his maturity probably comes from being raised by his nan and because he has gone through a lot in terms of accepting himself and growing as a person in general.

On a quick side note, I’ve noticed people with clearly poor understanding on mental health that have tried to write him as a villain and end up usually turning him into an insecure, self-centered, egotistical character, labeling it as layering, when the reality is far from that. Vilifying insecurity, low self-esteem and fear of rejection/failure is not layering. Those are common flaws and issues that cause distraught in many people on a daily basis and, in my opinion, they should be approached with proper understanding, respect and reassurance.

Anyhow, it makes me so happy seeing much more Love Island fans recognizing the true good and soft nature of Gary’s personality as time passes, and even happier that a lot more started appreciating him because of his issues. His story represents, in my opinion, a story of recovery. There are few things better than seeing someone that used to struggle with how they felt about themselves, keeping their head up, accepting their flaws as their own and doing their best to keep getting better, and that’s what he represents at the end of Day 26.

I’ll be leaving down below some of the papers I used for my additional research, as well as some simple articles and videos about MD, if some of you would like to know more about it and spread awareness.

Let’s take this character’s story as an example to follow, as it indirectly encourages people to accept themselves and to share their mental illness stories once they feel ready to do so. I think that by supporting this type of characters we’re letting the writers know that we do like to read characters like this, with true layers, defects and with backgrounds that feel just real.

Finally, as some friend of mine said, let’s jump on the Gary tour bus and spread some love, positivity and appreciation for this amazing character*:･ﾟ✧

Links, articles and videos.

[Nature article], [The Guardian Article], [TED Talk], [TED Talk Q&A], [BDD 2015 Conference], [ABC Science Video], [ABC News Video], [Paper n°1], [Paper n°2], [Paper n°3], [Paper n°4], [Paper n°5], [Paper n°6].

#thanks for reading to the end #love island the game #litg #love island gary #litg gary #gary x mc #litg2 #mc x gary #love island the game season 2 #litgs2 #litg season 2 #i hope this wasn't too long #my stuff