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#but she’s still part of that world. she ended up going to college and studied a bunch of different languages and she splits her time between
ourautumn86 · 11 months
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ପ look like an angel ଓ
modern! college ellie williams x innocent reader!
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part 2!<3
summary; ellie williams, the college’s most popular dealer takes an interest in you, the most angelic sweet shy girl she had ever landed eyes on. and when the opportunity arises, she makes a move. she wants you to be hers.
cw; +18 content! minors dni!, slight sa (a guy gropes readers ass before ellie punched him), blood, fighting, cursing, mentions of drugs such as weed, consumption of weed, extremely innocent (ellie is pretty much her first time in everything), making out, humping plushies —ellie shows reader how to and watches—, dirty thoughts, tension, teasing, ellie uses pretty names for reader, no use of y/n, dom! ellie and sub! reader, praising, choking, finger fucking (r receiving), thigh riding (r), oral sex (r receiving), hickeys, piv sex, strap on sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, tit playing and sucking, cum eating, squirting…
REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3
REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!
-
ellie williams was not a good person. she was rough, harsh and couldn’t care less about the rest. she liked very few people. and had two friends: jesse and dina. but she also was very popular. she was the best dealer in her college, and had a million of girls fawning over her shoulders for god knows why. she didn’t really care about them anyways.
not when there was you.
you and your beautiful smile, which seemed to brighten up any room you were in. you and your sweet perfume, which made her want to hide on your neck for hours on end. you and your soft voice, bambi eyes and soft perfect hair…
you were shy, always talking with your honey sweet voice that made her bones melt. you were also smart, the smartest girl in your whole course, though you never really showed it off.
you loved white, and soft colors, but you’ll always go for a baby pink. your lips were always shining in a pinkish gloss that distracted ellie a little bit too much, but not as much as the tiny skirts and stockings that you liked to wear on a daily basis.
you looked like a doll, like a goddamn angel.
and maybe you were, ‘cause you were so… innocent.
you didn’t like drinking, or smoking, or parties. you’ve never dared to go to one. just the thought of it gave you goosebumps. and you’ve never even thought about the possibility of taking drugs.
your days were calm. always the same routine. go to college, get to your dorm, study and go to bed. it was simple. but you always had time for yourself though; reading a book, writing on your journal, listening to pop music…
the perfect student. the perfect girl.
and ellie… well. ellie was ellie. a complete opposite from you.
she was kind of a mess. always on her own world. she never took notes in class, instead filling notebooks with her drawings. she still passes with straight A’s her tests though —something Dina couldn’t really believe, always saying that she was bribing the teachers with free weed—.
she wore black. mostly. or things such as sweats and tank tops. and obviously, no makeup. as her father said once… not very girly. but she didn’t really cared. her hair was always in a bun somehow, half up or all the way up. and quiet. she liked to listen, and watch.
that’s why she knew so many things about you even if she hadn’t talked to you once. not once in the whole course even when you sat together on most of your classes.
you were always alone and by the windows, liking the silence and the views that the garden of the school offered you. you didn’t have anything else to look at from that to the chalkboard, since to your right was sitting ellie. and you never looked mat ellie.
you couldn’t, ‘cause your heart would start to beat too fast and your cheeks would flush. at first you thought the feeling in your stomach anytime she would be near was fear. she was quite intimidating. but then you started to notice that you’d stare a little bit too much at her.
she was always listening to music. she also played some sports from time to time with jesse and his friends —she likes to exercise and you could see that in the muscular yet thin body that she had—. she had a scar on her right eyebrows and the most beautiful green eyes you’d ever seen, always rimmed in a reddish color. she had freckles too, and auburn hair that shone when the sun hit her. she was popular. way too popular. with all the girls of your class head over heels for her. you would blush anytime they’d gossip about her, talking about her muscles, and her tattoo, and…
her hands.
the girls had said something about her hands, about how good the looked, and ‘how good they could make them feel’. you didn’t really knew how her hands would make them feel good… maybe if ellie played with their hair?
also, having them around their necks. you’d frowned. wouldn’t that hurt? i mean in the series that your dad watched, it didn’t look alright… since characters would die by it and stuff.
but you had to agree that her hands were pretty, nails short and slim large fingers.
you looked away when you felt heat rising to your cheeks.
shit. you were staring again.
why were you feeling so hot all of a sudden? you were feeling kind of sticky too.
you sighed in relief when you heard the class being dismissed, quickly getting everything on your backpack to leave the class. ellie got the last goodbye of your perfume when you dashed by.
you were quick to get to your locker, opening it to show cute decorations and pictures, along with books and notebooks.
you were putting some stuff inside your backpack when suddenly a voice startled you.
“hey beautiful.” you turned around to face a boy with brown eyes and short wavy brown hair. you flushed, ‘cause you didn’t know him at all, and you were shy with strangers. he smiled. “i was just wondering if you’d be up to letting me take you out on a date.” your eyes shot open. “you know… you could always wear one of those pretty skirts for me. would make it so much easier once we get in the back of the car.” he stepped closer, and you backed up until your back was hitting your back.
“uhm… i don’t think…”
“come on, don’t be a prude. you’re basically asking for the attention, i can almost see your whole fucking ass.” you squealed when you felt his hand land on it, grabbing your skin and harshly digging his fingers. you were about to push him away when someone else was doing it for you.
the boy cursed when he received a good solid right hook straight to his nose, making it start bleeding.
“she said no, fucking asshole.” and then your heart was beating like crazy again, ‘cause i’m front of you was standing ellie williams, with a scowl on her face and her knuckles bathed in blood. you stared at her, and then at the boy. “if you wanted a little bit of skin contact you should have asked me. i have plenty to give.” she smirked, devilish, before punching again.
when dina and jesse finally came up to her to calm her down, the guy was already bleeding on the floor, and her knuckles were burning up.
but she wasn’t really listening to their worried questions, ‘cause she was looking at you.
“are you okay?”
-
after that, you and ellie grew closer. she made you feel safe. she kept you safe. no more guys had even dared to stare at you. but people seemed to approach you more since they’d seen you around her. something ellie really didn’t like.
“ellie…, you need to stop being so mean.” your doe eyes were staring at her, your soft voice making her heart beat faster. “they were just being nice.” you said as a pair of girls had come up to you to tell you how much they loved your outfit.
“a little bit too nice.” she muttered, one of her arms surrounding your shoulders to pull you flush close to her side. your stomach jumped. “although is true, you look really pretty today princess.” she smiled, and you blushed.
you stuttered and a smirk took over her lips.
“why are you getting so shy about now, hm? look at me sweet girl.” she said, leaning closer and down to catch your eyes.
“nothing. thank you ellie.” you gave her a sweet and shy smile. and she had to stop the urge to just kiss the hell out of you then.
fuck, had you ever even been kissed before?
“you’re welcome, angel.”
you opened the door to your dorm room, and ellie thought she might as well be a genius, ‘cause of course this was heaven and you were indeed an angel.
it smelled of your sweet perfume and cherries —probably due to the difusor on your desk—. it was filled with pink and books, and cute pictures everywhere. you had even your own little plants sitting on your window. they were being well taken care of, petals on full display and color. trinkets were laying everywhere, and it was clean and tidy. you even had plushies on your bed. ellie’s heart squeezed when an image of you hugging them to sleep went through your mind. jesus christ. you were so cute…
ellie just wanted to move in. stay in there forever. change her place with your plushies and hold you herself.
ellie took a seat on your bed, and soft blankets received her. you looked at her, and a happy smile crossed your plushy lips.
“what are you smiling at, hm?” she inquired.
“dunno. just… like you here.” you shrugged, cheeks flushing.
“i like being here too, baby.” she smiled and you blushed.
you two spent some time together watching some films, and talking. ellie loved to hear you talk, even if you were sometimes a little bit too shy to try.
now, ellie was smoking.
of course you knew she smoked, you really didn’t mind her doing it on your room as well. you also knew that ellie dealt weed. everybody knew. but you had never gone anywhere near it. so this was a first time for you. it interested you though. you’d always been scared of it. in the end it was a drug and drugs were harmful, but this one… this one seemed good. it made ellie feel good. more relaxed. and it made her happy. laugh more. talk more. get closer…
she always made sure to not let the smoke of the blunt even go near you, always blowing it away from you. you still could smell it around the room, that earthy calming smell now fusing with your own. ellie couldn’t love more the idea of leaving something ‘hers’ in your room, to leave a mark.
she was laughing, but her heart was slow, you could feel it on your back as she had pulled you in between her legs. you couldn’t help but blush at the touch. she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. not with you. you were as soft as she had imagined, and warm. so warm it was making it hard to hug you closer. and being high only made it worse.
“ellie…” you said, your eyes on the blunt in between her fingers.
“what is it pretty girl?” she muttered, putting away with a strand of your hair that had fallen on your face.
“can i… try it?” you muttered, eyes shiny and full of curiosity.
“you want to try smoking? you sure about that baby?” she made sure, and you nodded. “okay.” she smiled, and gently passed you the blunt. her hands were so warm it made your cheeks flush. you liked it. liked it when she kept you close. your stomach did funny things when she would touch you. “you need to inhale softly, alright, we don’t want you choking.” you nodded once again. slowly pulling it to your glossy and pink lips. you took a soft drag, making your throat burn. you felt the need to cough, but you waited it out, blowing out the smoke again. ellie’s smile grew. “there she is. atta girl.”
you squirmed at her praise, whole body running hot. you two shared the joint ‘till it burned out. taking soft drags that slowly became deeper and harsher. your mind was getting fuzzy, and your body was tingly. also ellie had started to draw little circles with her thumb on your thigh, caressing your skin. and you were shaking.
“how you feeling, baby?” your eyes were glassed over, and half lidded, rimmed in red.
“feels good els.” a silly smile crept up your face and she smiled as well.
“yeah?”
you nodded, snuggling into her chest. and ellie knew that jesse and dina would have probably teased her about how her whole face flushed red.
shit. she was in deep.
you loved it. how she made you feel. how your heart raced and your tummy filled with butterflies. but there was something else too, this throbbing in between your legs, this uncomfortable and warm feeling that had you squirming with every new pass of her thumb over your skin.
“you okay, pretty girl?” she inquired, taking notice of your little frown.
“hurts.” you muttered in a little hurt voice that had her heart shaking.
“hurts? where does it hurt baby?” she inquired, and your cheeks flushed. you hid your face on her chest and she cooed. “hey.” she took your chin in between her index and thumb to make you look at her. she almost cursed. your eyes were half-lidded and hazy, glossed over. your lips looked plushy and red, and your cheeks were flushed in crimson. “what is it?” she asked you again, this time harsher. there was something in her eyes that made you squeeze your thighs together. she saw it. “aw… baby…” she hummed and you whimpered. “does your little pussy hurt?” you nodded, flushing impossibly red.
“uh-huh…” you hiccuped. “every time you are around.” you said, and ellie almost choked. oh god. shit. fuck.
“every time i’m around? i leave you hurting every time i leave baby?” you nodded once again and she couldn’t help but curse under her breath. “want me to help you make it stop?” and one last time, you nodded. “okay. why don’t you help me take this off first, hm?” she inquired as her hands slowly made their way under your skirt —which had riled up your hips— and onto your beautiful little cotton panties. “that’s it, good girl.” she praised when you did, helping her push them down your thighs and legs, and you couldn’t help but whimper, cheeks burning, ‘cause it made the pain in your cunt worsen. “shh, it’s okay baby.” she hummed, her hand back to your thigh to caress your skin. “fuuuck. you’re so wet, angel.” she groaned when she took a glimpse at your panties and pussy, completely soaked. she just wanted to fucking ruin you with her strap, have that pussy of yours leaking on it and cumming over and over again. she wanted to ruin you. but she knew she couldn’t. not yet. you didn’t even know what being turned on was until now. she would scare the shit out of you. she had to take it slow… patience ellie. patience… “why don’t you choose one of your plushies out for me, hm?” she asked, and your eyes fell on your plushies. it was a quick response. you went for your favorite. mr hops. your little white beautiful bunny. “atta girl. now i want you to push it against your pussy baby.” she muttered against your neck, and you shivered. you blushed, even more when when ellie saw your shyness decided to cup your hand with hers to guide the plushie in between your legs. you couldn’t help but moan when the nose of the bunny bumped against your puffy little button. “that’s it.” she praised. “move it just like that baby.” she smirked when she saw how you unconsciously started to drag it up and down on your cunt, humping the plushy. your eyes were pricking with tears. ‘cause your whole body seemed to be exploding in pleasure, and it felt so good… her hand helping you with her movements, her voice praising you and calling you good girl every time you’d moan and whimper…
shit.
“ellie…” you whimpered, feeling pressure building up in your stomach. something felt about to snap. and you couldn’t stop moaning. it was as if you were reaching out for something you didn’t know what it was but needed.
“you gonna cum pretty girl? of course you are… such a good girl grinding her pretty cunt on her plushy. look at you. so fucking beautiful. let go for me baby, let go.” your vision went dark, and your ears rung. you couldn’t stop moaning and whimpering, your hips unconsciously rocking against mr hops to ride out your first ever orgasm. it was like nothing you’ve experienced before. it was like dying and coming back to life at the same time.
ellie groaned, holding you through it, your back arching against her chest as you fell apart. shit. she almost came on her own pants.
“that’s it, princess. now breath for me. you did amazing angel. so good for me.” she left a soft little peck on your forehead as she left soft rubs on one of your thighs. “good girl …”
-
after that night you had tried to take care of yourself like ellie had taught you. you’d hump your little bunny every night after she’d leave, trying to not make much noise so your flat mates on the other dorm rooms wouldn’t hear you. but you couldn’t make yourself cum anymore. not if she wasn’t there with you. you had started to wonder if instead of your plushy ellie would ever make you feel good too. touch you there.
one night, you were huffing, grinding down on your bunny unable to cum —like every other night—. every time you’d get close, the feeling would fade away and leave you tearing up and rolling in your bed without knowing how to make the ache go away.
that’s why, when you couldn’t take it anymore, you got up on your wobbly legs, you put back on your panties and pj shorts and went to her dorm. she opened after you left two knocks on her door.
ellie’s face completely changed when she saw the tears falling down your cheeks.
“woah, hey, hey…” she cooed when you jumped to her arms. “you okay sweet girl? what happened?” you hiccuped and held you closer to her chest.
“ellie please help me…” you whimpered and she pulled you into her dorm, closing the door.
“what is it baby? what’s wrong?” she rubbed your back as you squirmed.
“i can’t… i can’t make myself feel good anymore like you taught me. it hurts…” you cried.
“aw, baby… you can’t make your pretty little pussy cum, hm?” she cooed, and you nodded. “mr hops can’t make you feel good anymore?” your heart skipped a beat at her soft teasing.
“stop teasing me… it’s mean.” you pouted, and she falsely frowned and mimicked you.
“am i being mean to you baby?” she continued on her teasing. you nodded and she cooed. “you poor thing…” her thumb pulled from the pout on your face, pressing against your bottom lip.
your heart seemed to skip a beat, her touch sending shivers down your spine.
“my poor pretty little thing.” you blushed. “aren’t you sweetheart?” your stomach jumped, her voice low and silky. it was making you feel silly.
“don’t do that…” you shyly muttered and she smirked.
“do what?”
“talk to me like that. it’s making my stomach feel all funny.” you sighed, feeling your face and neck burning up.
“your stomach?” you hummed. “is it a bad funny or a good funny?” she stepped just the littlest bit closer. and that feeling went south from your stomach, down and down and down and… you gasped a little bit when her free hand took a hold on your hip. she wasn’t even touching you and yet you felt like melting under her fingertips.
“good.” ellie’s fingers squeezed your hip. she hummed, low, and you almost trembled.
“does it feel good too if i do this?” she inquired as she leant closer, leaving a soft kiss on your cheek. you nodded. “and this?” another one to your jaw. her face didn’t pull away, her lips trailing lower when you nodded once again. you let out a little whine when she kissed over your pulse, your head tilting to give her more room. it felt too good. m
“feels good els…” you muttered and she almost groaned. fuck. your voice was airy, and so needy…
“you know… there are places where it feels even better.” she said, and your eyes shined with curiosity.
“yeah?” you breathily inquired and she hummed.
“want me to show you?” you nodded, and she smiled before leading you to your bed, where you two sat. “baby, have someone ever given you a kiss?” you frowned, but before you could talk she was getting the doubt out of your head. “on your lips honey.”
you blushed. so much you swore you’d actually burst in flames. you looked into her eyes and then away as you shook your head. ellie’s chest felt lighter. no one had ever kissed you before. fuck.
“want me to give you one?” your eyes went back at hers, and then fell to her lips. they were so pretty it hurt. and you knew they were soft. you’d seen people kiss before. obviously. but you had always been too shy to even think about receiving one. and now ellie was offering to kiss you. for the first time in your life. and your heart was going crazy. breathing was getting harder. you nodded again. “nuh-uh, speak up pretty girl.” you were burning up.
“i want it.” you begged, and her cunt throbbed. shiiiiit. she had thought about this before. you begging for her to fuck you, to let you cum all over her fingers. even dreamed about it. but it would never compare to the actual you.
“good girl.” she said, and your thighs shook. there was wet sticky slick pooling in between your legs and making a mess of your thighs. and the throbbing of your needy pussy was making you ache. it hurt. even more when she called you that. you whimpered when you finally felt her lips against yours. ellie groaned when she heard you, pulling you closer. at first she didn’t move her lips, after a couple of seconds slowly starting to guide you into the kiss. your hands fisted her shirt, and your eyes squeezed closed. it was a strange feeling. but it felt good. too good. “open your mouth for me, baby.” you followed her orders, a little and muffled moan leaving your lips when her tongue pushed inside. one of her hands cupped your cheek, deepening the kiss. you were going for more when she pulled away. fuck. ellie was dying. she was finally kissing you. and you felt amazing. “shhh.” she stopped you, and your hazy eyes met hers.
“ellie… please.” you tugged her close.
“you want more, pretty girl?” she inquired, and you nodded, once shaking parting your lips for her. this time the kiss was deeper, if it could get any more than before, wet strokes of her tongue filling your mouth. you were being laid down on her bed, hair all over her pillows and thighs open for her.
you were letting out the most beautiful sounds, and she was getting way too horny.
“fuck. you don’t know what you do to me.” she groaned, eyes taking you in, you and your swollen glossy lips and hazy reddened teary eyes. you were flushed red, and your breath was hot.
“feels good.” you muttered, shaking under her touch, her hands now touching your hips from under your shirt.
“yeah?” you hummed. “well… there’s another place were kisses feel even better.”
“yeah?”
“yeah.” she smiled, one of her hands traveling downwards. passing your belly button and down to your shorts. “right here.” you gasped when you felt her hand softly cupping your cunt over your peeking pretty cotton panties, making your eyes squeeze shit when you grinned down on her hand, seeking relief. you were soaked. “fuck baby…”
you hiccuped. “it hurts.” you pouted. you were throbbing.
“i know baby, i know…” she cooed, and you nodded. “want me to make the pain go away? want me to kiss it better for you, hm?” your cheeks flushed red. ellie wanted to kiss you there. you nodded, quickly, shyly, and she couldn’t help but groan when you whispered a little ‘yes please ellie.’ she was sucking marks down your neck as her hands pulled from your pj and underwear, making you gasp as the cold air of the room hit your drooling pussy. “fuck, angel. you’re so wet…” she said as she took a glance of the string of slick that connected your cunt to your underwear. soon enough, her thumbs were parting your lips to take a better look at you, and you were covering your face, ‘cause ellie was looking at you as if you were a fucking meal and she was starving. your back arched when you felt it. the long and torturously slow drag of her tongue thought your folds, lapping at your arousal.
“ellie!” you screamed, a moan ripping your throat. she left a little kiss to your clit before sucking it, making you whimper and gasp for air, your hands flying up to her hair and making her grunt against your cunt. she pulled you closer to her face, pulling your thighs over her shoulders and laying one of her hands down on your lower stomach to keep you pressed against the bed and still for her to devour. she had been dreaming about this for months. and knowing that no one has ever had you like this. never kissed you, or touched you, or made you moan expect her had her soaking her boxers and eating you out with need.
you couldn’t stop moaning, and whining, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you gasped. ellie was telling the truth, it felt so much better than kissing. your thighs were shaking and your pussy was leaking on her tongue. it was the first time you’d ever felt this euphoria… this kind of pleasure…
and then you felt it. her tongue pushing inside of you, stretching you out. it was a new feeling. you had never felt anything like it. you’d never touched yourself. always too shy to even try, to oblivious to know the reason why your pussy would throb around the emerald eyed. and now ellie was helping you get rid of that aching feeling that tortured you every night, and you were falling apart.
“that’s it… pussy so sweet and wet…” she said, one of her fingers teasing the rim of your hole, pushing in just the slightest. you let out a scream when her middle finger pushed inside, your vision filling of colors and spots when she hit a spot deep inside as she curled it, making you sob and moan, tugging from her hair. “you sound so good. shit, angel. can’t wait to have you falling apart, creaming all over my fingers.” you didn’t know what she meant by that, but her finger was fucking into you, and you couldn’t even think.
she sucked on your puffy clit, slowly fucking in and out of you and relishing in the wet sounds that your pussy was making for her, adding another finger when she had stretched you out enough. they filled you to the brim, and so good you were choking. “ellie, ellie, ellie…” you moaned over and over again as she started to quickly curl her fingers against your g spot, making the knot growing on your stomach tighten. “ellie, i’m…, i’m…”
“you’re gonna cum, sweet girl? gonna cum all over my face?” you nodded, feeling that warmth bubbling up in your stomach, about to snap. “go ahead baby, let go for me.” your back arched as you gushed all over her fingers and lips, and she fucked you through it, humming at the taste, lapping at you like a starved women. she cleaned you up, not leaving a single drop of your come behind, helping you ride it out until you were whimpering due to overstimulation. she lapped at your sweet and sticky cum, licking clean your pushy and her fingers as she popped them inside her mouth, moaning. her chin and lips were shining, and she had this hazy look in her eyes that made your heart jump.
you opened your mouth for her when she kissed you, whimpering at the taste of your own arousal.
now that you had felt ellie’s tongue and fingers on you for the first time, you understood what those girls in your class meant by how good her fingers could make them feel…
her mouth was good too. too good. and you couldn’t stop starting at it, and her lips… and her hands. god. now you too wanted to know if they’d feel good around your…
“you’re staring pretty girl.” she smirked, and you looked away with your cheeks burning up. she chuckled, cupping your cheek to make you look at her. “nuh-uh. don’t hide from me. what is it, hm?” you looked into her emerald eyes, her thumb on your bottom lip. you shook your head, burning up. “you’re not gonna tell me?” you shook your head once again. “that’s mean angel, i want to know what’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours.” you saw her lean in. “you’re gonna make me have to get it out of you?” you shivered when you felt her breath hit your jaw, and then your neck, lips soft against your skin.
you sighed, your hands gripping her shoulders as she started to tug from your shirt, your nipples hard due to your arousal as she pushed it over your head, leaving you completely exposed to her hungry eyes.
“ellie…” you whimpered when her mouth latched to your breast, sucking the bud into her mouth and leaving marks on them. and she tugged you closer, making you fall on one of her legs, the denim of her trousers meeting your cunt.
her hands landed on your ass, grinding you down on her leg and making you moan. you felt embarrassed to speak up. completely caught in the feeling of her touch.
“come on baby. speak up.” she smirked, seeing you desperately grinding down on her thigh.
“want you ellie… want you.” you whimpered, and she hummed, sucking hickeys on your neck.
“you want me pretty girl? want me to stretch your little pussy on my cock? bet you’d look so cute riding my strap for me, cumming over and over again.“ you let out a needy moan. nodding.
“yes please, want it ellie, want it…” you begged.
“lay down and open your legs for me, baby.” she said, giving you a deep kiss before leaving you in the bed to go get her black strap-on. you were flushing red, and fidgety. and your eyes widened when she got back. ‘cause that was too big. her fingers had made you feel so full already… you couldn’t imagine how that would make you feel.
you squirmed when she was back in between your legs after having discarded her jeans and own shirt, leaving her in her boxers and sports bra. you were flushing and trying to not look at her, ‘cause she looked so hot it was impossible to take. she had abs, and such a pretty waist… her thighs were strong and big, and you couldn’t help but wish to be on top of her once again riding them, this time without her jeans on the way.
“look at me angel, let me see you.” she muttered, and your eyes were back on hers. “you’re so fucking beautiful.” your cheeks were red, and your thighs were trembling under her hands. a moan left your lips when she leaned down to kiss you. her tongue pushing into your mouth and you melted, feeling her body slot in between your legs and the plastic of her strap hit your naked soaking pussy. your hips pushed against it, and she thrusted against you, making the tip bump against your clit. your back arched, and your nails dug on her shoulders.
“please, ellie… please…” you cried out. needing more.
“what is it baby? what do you want?” you were throbbing, crying at her teasing, feeling the tip sliding in between your folds and hitching at your needy hole. “speak up. want you to tell me what you need.”
“need it inside…” you begged, your voice desperate and broken, completely eaten alive by your embarrassment.
“atta girl. that wasn’t so hard, was it?” the breath hit punched out of your lungs when she pushed in, your slick making it easy to slide in the tip. she went slow. “good girls get what they want.” you whimpered, feeling your pussy stretch to take her inside. it hurt. but it hurt so good you couldn’t help but buck your hips up for more. “aw, want more darling? want more of my dick? so greedy…” she smirked, seeing your eyes roll to the back of your head when she pushed all of it inside in one go, hitting your cervix. your back arched, and her mouth was sucking bruises on your neck and chest, making you see stars. “that’s it. atta girl. taking me so good…” she groaned, the strap brushing her own clit over her panties. “good girl baby, being so good for me…” tears were spilling from your eyes from the pleasure. her praise making you tighten around the strap and sucking it right back in harder when she tried and pull out to thrust inside. “so fucking tight, shit…” she cursed, and you whimpered, feeling the tip brush that spot that had you babbling out.
her hips slowly started to pick up pace, until she was properly fucking you, wet squelches coming from your cunt, which was impossibly wet. the strap slid easily i between your walls, and rubbed ellie just were she ached the most. you two were a mess of kisses, moans and hands everywhere. your hips fucked against hers, trying to beg for more.
“ellie, ellie please…”
she groaned at your need. “you’re driving me insane.” her hips snapped harder against yours, her cock plunging inside of you deeper and harsher, making it impossible to not scream. and she shut you up the only way she knew how.
your sight went white when you felt it. the hot grip of her hand around your throat. and ellie couldn’t help but groan when you were gushing on her strap, letting out little broken moans that got cut off with every harsh thrust.
“fuck. this is what you wanted, baby? wanted my hand on your neck, hm? my poor little thing just wanted to be choked.” you moaned, your nails digging on her back as she started to piston inside of you, making your orgasm grow and grow…
“ellie! ellie stop, something’s gonna come out, something’s gonna…!” you screamed as the pressure on your lower stomach grew and warmth liquid spread all over your thighs, soaking the strap and the sheets under you. your body was being filled in pleasure. you were falling and falling and falling. you were choking on it. there was no end.
ellie grunted and fucked you through it, reaching her own orgasm when she saw you squirt all over her cock. her cum had completely soaked her boxers by the time she had stopped rutting into you, the two of you panting for air.
and even with your hair made a complete mess, your eyes red with tears and your lips swollen by your kisses… you looked like an angel.
-
a/n; 🫨😵‍💫
ellie williams masterlist! <3
xxx
4K notes · View notes
delfiore · 8 months
Text
—THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.
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pairing: tara carpenter x reader
synopsis: your ex-girlfriend is a drunken mess at a college party and the only person her friends think to call is you.
word count: 1.8k
warnings: extensive talk of vomit, mentions of ghostface attack
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Your phone blared in your ears like some kind of end-of-the-world siren. Groaning, you lifted your head from your laptop on the desk and answered the call. Mindy’s voice sounded in a panic as you caught a glimpse of the time, 11:46pm.
“Y/N, we need you at Greg’s party. Tara is literally blacked-out drunk and she’s like throwing up non-stop, and we don’t know what to do. She won’t let us take her home and—”
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down,” you felt the oncoming headache in your temple. Your hazy mind began to spiral.
Mindy had been gracious enough to allow you space after the breakup. You were a part of the friend group but chose to distance yourself afterward, but Mindy and Anika were the ones you still talk to occasionally. Sometimes the way they bounced between you and Tara made you feel like the divorced parent hanging out with your kids every two weeks.
“I’m studying for finals.” You rubbed your eyes.
“Please, Y/N. She won’t budge. If it weren’t this dire, you know I wouldn’t call you.”
You knew it was true, but it’s only been two months.
News of the party had been bubbling around campus for a few weeks now. Everyone has been talking about Greg Hansen’s end-of-semester party, even if you weren’t coming, the gossip was what kept it alive. Even more so when it was a party thrown by someone from your major; you were always hearing about it. So you also knew where it was.
When you arrived, you couldn’t be more appalled by the concoction of weed, sweat, and beer wafting in your face the moment you walked through the door. In the corner of the living room was Greg Hansen, chugging beer from a tube as his henchmen hyped him up, being the life of the party as always. But you needed to find Mindy and, eventually, Tara.
You texted an ‘I’m here’ to Mindy and looked around for any sign of a familiar face when a hand clasped around your shoulder. Turning around in fright, you relaxed when you realized it was Chad.
“She’s in the bathroom. This way, come on.”
Mindy couldn’t answer your text because she and Anika were busy holding back Tara’s hair as she was emptying the contents of her stomach. Sure you’ve seen how bad Tara can be after parties. but never this bad.
“Good, you’re here.” Mindy turned around, relieved. “We need to leave, now.”
A groan escaped the raven-haired girl’s mouth as she sat back against the bathtub. It was then that you got a good look at her face, the first time you did in months. Suddenly it felt hard to breathe.
“Tara, come on. I’m taking you home,” you said.
Her eyes opened slowly. They were glazed over, but there was a moment where her eyes met yours and you thought she had sobered up, but soon after she pulled herself upright, groaning again before staggering out of the bathroom.
“Tara, where are you going, man?” Chad asked, dejected.
She didn’t respond.
Without an answer, she found the near bottle, not caring what its content was, and felt for an empty red solo cup.
You scoffed and took the cup from her. “I think you’ve had enough, don’t you think?”
“I don’t care what you think. Give it back.” Tara protested and reached for the cup in your hand, which you have extended far beyond her reach, the other arm pushing against her. Her frustration was apparent as she shoved you aside with a cry. “Get the fuck away from me!”
“Tara, enough.”
She held your gaze like there was fire in her eyes. Her lips wobbled, as she looked back at her friends behind you with a betraying look. You knew you had won from the way she pulled her arm away from you roughly, and looked out at the ground like a scolded child.
“I’m taking you home.” Your voice softened and gestured towards the door. Tara staggered towards the exit but crumbled against a wall like a piece of paper. You quickly grasped her hand to support her, but she swatted your hand away and made her way outside herself.
You sighed and turned towards the Meeks-Martin twins. “We’ll be okay. You guys can stay if you want.” The twins looked at each other and shrugged before going their separate ways back into the party.
You found her on the lawn, squatting on the ground and groaning.
“Come on, don’t be stubborn.” You rolled your eyes and tapped your foot impatiently. “I was in the middle of revision.”
It was a weird sight, seeing her in the passenger seat of your car again after you had made it your mission to get rid of everything inside that reminded you of her; a half-drunken water bottle in the door compartment, a few hair ties in the cup holder, her forgotten sunglasses in the glove compartment. You had thrown all of it away before proceeding to have a mental breakdown in the driver’s seat.
“Jesus, who the fuck puts the seat so far back?” You heard the girl next to you mutter, as she scrambled to pull the seat forward.
You looked out your window to hide the grin that made its way onto your lips. Tara was smaller than your average passenger, and that seat hadn’t been seen so far up in a while.
“Can I go now?” You said mockingly.
“Yes,” you heard her mumble into the window, propping her face on her hand.
The ride back to her apartment was mostly silent, except for the handful of times you heard quiet gags next to you, to which you grimaced and handed her a plastic bag you found lying around.
“Please don’t barf in my car. I don’t think I can forgive you for that.”
At a red stop, you grabbed your phone to check the time; 12:16am. You felt her eyes on you, her inebriated, yet dreamy eyes, that you knew if you looked you wouldn’t be able to look away. Try as you might, you couldn’t resist. Her body was shifted so that her head was resting against the window and her legs pressed against her chest. But what made your breath hitch was the way those eyes were trained on you. There wasn’t any sign of that hatred or fury or whatever she felt that was spilling out of her with the alcohol; with her bangs tousled over half her face and hooded eyelids like this, Tara just looked lost and defeated, and in need of a kiss.
She always looked like this, in need of cuddles and kisses, after parties and you were always ready to take care of her.
The red light on her face shifted to green, and you quickly pressed the gas pedal to bring her back home, then you could go back home, and everything would be back to the way it was.
You’d be happily carrying on with your life without Tara in it.
Despite rejecting your help earlier, she did end up needing it when both of you dragged each other up the stairs (you more than her) to her apartment. The light in the hallway was off, which meant her sister wasn’t home.
You tried to set her down gently, but she threw herself onto the bed like a body bag, face-first.
You called her name once, twice.
“Huh?”
“Are you gonna sleep in that?”
“Uh-huh.”
“In a full face of makeup too?”
No reply. You shook your head and pulled her sitting up, and shed her jacket.
But she was still looking at you, the way she did in the car. You sat there, dumbfounded.
You had to go, revision was waiting.
“Wait,” she said, grasping your hand.
You refused to look at her.
She sounded like she didn’t know what she wanted from you either. There were noises of hesitancy coming out of her mouth, but nothing to convince you.
Until she said, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m sorry,” she pressed.
“No,” you shook your head, and tried to leave, but she had grasped your arm desperately.
“Wait, please.”
You were grateful for the dark room, because you were sure you had tears in your eyes.
“I was scared that they’d hurt you. I thought you’d be safe away from me.”
You shook your head. “No, no. You can’t do this. I was just getting over you.”
Your pleas fell on deaf ears, as she tilted your face to her, resting her forehead on yours.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
“Tara, please.”
She cupped your cheeks softly. You could smell the alcohol in her breath when she leaned in. You couldn’t stop it—you’d be the biggest criminal if you did—when her lips tasted so sweet.
Tara sighed, and pressed her body flushed against yours.
You remembered the night you were kissing her, just like this, when the attack came. You just wanted to protect her, to keep her behind you in case the masked killer got to her, but the next moment there was just so much blood. You were told you almost flatlined twice. Tara thought that was enough and ended things.
“You told me that I was a liability,” you said quietly.
“You know I didn’t mean that. I just thought it’d be easier for you . . .” Tara shook her head. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
You thought you were imagining her saying it, but she might as well have without the accountability of sobriety. Tara Carpenter apologizing, now that’s a sight to see.
In the midst of the haze, she had pulled you on top of her on the bed, still kissing you like her life depended it.
“Tara,” you pulled away, your chest heaving against her. Sitting back up, you let out a shaky breath.
She was watching you with those doe eyes, her fingers finding their way between yours.
“Will you tell me all of this when you’re sober?” You asked, but you knew what the answer was.
“Yeah,” you breathed out. That’s what I thought.
You kissed her forehead softly and left without another word.
Tara Carpenter, as much as she vehemently denies it, was still very much haunted by her past. As much as you loved her, you wouldn’t let yourself be dragged down that rabbit hole, not again.
It might have started raining. You couldn’t quite tell because the streets were already glossy from the blur of your tears.
2K notes · View notes
potter-imagines · 8 months
Text
Family Sleepover
Pairing: Choso Kamo x Reader
Prompt: A relaxing friday night for Choso and Y/n takes a turn when Choso's little brother, Yuji, has a nightmare leading to a family sleepover.
Word Count: 5.8k
Warning: modern Choso and reader, non sorcerer world setting, mentions of drinking and smoking, otherwise mainly fluff!
Notes: love love love choso, he doesn't get enough attention in writes so hopefully i'll have more choso x reader to come! <3 (gif credit to @fushiguro)
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Rainfall smacked against the shingles on the roof while the weather outside only grew worse. A majority of souls dreaded nights filled with storming rain, although Y/n never truly understood why. Not only did the ‘disgusting’ weather provide her the perfect excuse to remain indoors, the cracks of lighting and the booming of thunder set a cozy mood as the rain poured down from the skies outside. The light from the flashing television brightened the darkened room to a glowing haze. Choso had his arm thrown over his girlfriend’s body and his back pressed up against the black headboard as Y/n curled herself into his side, her hands resting neatly on his chest. 
It was a typical Friday night for the couple after an exhausting week for the both of them. Choso had put in three grueling nights of overtime while Y/n had run herself thin juggling her final semester of college writing three separate ten page essays and studying for finals between her part time job. 
Instead of going out until the early hours of the morning bar hopping and clubbing like most couples their age, the two preferred the more intimate occasions of peaceful bliss wrapped in each other’s hold. Besides, babysitters weren’t cheap and between keeping up with rent, having enough food on the table, gas to get to work, bills and buying new clothes for a never ending growing boy, there wasn’t a surplus of funds left over to pay some high schooler to watch little Yuji every weekend night. 
Yuji was the youngest of Choso’s brothers, his only surviving family member in fact. Shortly after his eighteenth birthday his entire family perished in an electrical fire that tore through his childhood home. The cause was natural yet their deaths hardly felt so. His mother had passed away in the hospital a day after the fire, while his little brother was the only member she could manage to stumble out of the home with. Yuji was a few months old at the time, and if he hadn’t still been sleeping in the bassinet next to their parent’s bed, Choso was sure he would’ve perished as well. He had received a call only hours after the fire was put out, being miles away at university, he rushed to his hometown immediately to discover the life changing news. 
That tragic event was four years ago and ever since, Choso has been raising his youngest brother alone- well, they were alone, until through friends, Choso was introduced to Y/n. The couple met at nineteen and had been going strong since, much to his surprise. Choso struggled in the dating field prior to being a near ‘single dad’, and now that he had his kid brother to look after, he naturally assumed he’d never find a partner.
However Y/n proved herself different from any woman he’d ever met, and Yuji adored her. From the child's second birthday on, Y/n had been an essential part of their lives and she had no intentions of leaving, which she once again proved by blowing Choso’s mind and signing on to lease a small three bedroom home alongside him and Yuji. Three years later now and the couple were raising Yuji like a stable, healthy family, and Choso couldn’t be more grateful to have her in both of their lives. 
Typical wasn’t an adjective that fit like a puzzle in their dictionary but they still tried to act like a normal 23 year old couple, hence the half full wine glasses sat on either side of the bed and the tightly packed pre roll waiting patiently on Choso’s side. Sure, they had a crazy five year old to look after, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t allowed to indulge in a bit of fun themselves, right?
A mutual favorite horror film of the couples was playing in the background. Y/n laid peaceful alongside Choso and the two cuddled on one another underneath the heavy stack of blankets. H/c hair tickled his skin as Choso situated his chin on the crown of her skull. Screams streamed from the television as a helpless victim took their chance at running through the winding forest trying to escape the crazed killer. Y/n’s body jerked as the girl managed to trip over a perfectly placed tree root and went stumbling down a large, leaf filled hill. The actress cried in fright as the killer stood at the top of the embankment, staring down at her disheveled state. Choso stole a peep down at his girlfriend, a rare smile coating his lips as he noticed her fully clinging to his naked chest. Once the girl was murdered and the screen cut to a new scene, her body visibly relaxed as her hold loosened. 
Choso smirked at the action, his lips finding their way to the top of her head, placing a small kiss as his arms pulled her closer. He could feel her hands absentmindedly tracing patterns against his chest while her eyes were glued to the horror movie on the television. Every once in a while her frame would flinch against his as a new victim was slain and killed, making him laugh to himself at her jumpy nature. Not everyone found horror movies ‘relaxing’, so to say, but for the couple, it was their idea of an unwinding night. 
Y/n shakily picked the wine glass up from the nightstand and took a reasonable gulp on the red liquid, then placed the cup back on the coaster. Her eyes casually shifted to her boyfriend, a mischievous smile playing on her pink lips as she motioned towards the joint resting on his side. Choso understood her thinking, not needing the use of words, and he chuckled. The mood felt all too perfect and the claming drag of a blunt was the bow to tie their night together in a beautifully wrapped present. However, as the saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, chances are it isn’t true. 
Right as Choso went to reach for the bud sitting beside him, a loud, echoing shriek broke through the once mellow air causing both adults to spring in terror. Y/n gasped, sitting up immediately as she looked up to Choso who was already throwing the comforter off and his legs off the side of the bed to stand. 
“Shit…” He cursed. Another scream hit the air as Choso grabbed the nearest shirt he could find and threw it on. Watching as he hurriedly redressed, Y/n extended her hand to flick the bedside lamp on, a worried hint to her tired gaze. 
“Is that Yuuji?” Concern laced her words as Y/n watched her boyfriend throw a random shirt over his head. He nodded towards her, confirming her worry. 
“Mmh, one second, babe. I’ll be right back.” Choso shared a quick kiss with his girl before sliding out the bedroom door. Stepping into the hall he quietly flipped on the ceiling light and walked the few steps to his brother’s room. Yuji’s door was decorated in various drawings, stickers, and paintings the young boy had made, making it hard to miss. The door was closed shut, but that didn’t stop the sound of muffled sobs and shaky breathing from breaking through. Twisting the golden knob, Choso slowly creaked the door open as he peeked his head around the wooden frame.
From his spot in the doorway Choso could see a small lump under the covers that was shaking like a leaf in a storm, much like the raging thunderstorm occurring outside the home. Entering the room, he quietly made his way into the bedroom and sat his body on the edge of the bed, careful as to not startle his younger brother. Choso reached his hand out to rub along what appeared to be the child’s back as he whispered, 
“Hey, little man. Everything alright?”
The heavy blanket was ripped from the boy’s body at the sound of his savior’s voice as Yuji flung himself to his big brother’s arms, grasping at his shirt while his teary eyes leaked against the cotton. 
“Choso!” He cried out. An iron grip clutched at his skin, tiny hands searching for stability in his hold.
“I’m here, don’t worry. Why’re you crying?” Choso hugged his body close to his chest, his large hand running up and down Yuji’s back in an attempt to comfort him. The small boy buried his head in his shoulder as the broken sobs continued. 
“I-I had a-a bad dream a-and the thunder w-was so loud my… my whole room was shaking and… and I saw a monster was outside my window with big claws and sharp teeth- he was going to eat me!” Yuji shouted in fear. His voice trembled as he struggled to get his words free from his dry throat.
The image of a terrifying beast perched up on the branch staring at him through his window replayed on a loop in Yuji’s head, his brain creating a scarier image each time he recalled the monster. Tiny fists bundled the shirt between his fingers as Yuji clung to his older brother. Glancing down, Choso leaned back a pull so the boy was forced to look into his dark violet eyes. Despite his usual solemn look, Choso’s features were warmer- more comforting than Yuji had witnessed on the regular. A serious gaze crossed his stare as his thumb wiped a bundle of tears running down the child’s cheeks. 
“Well you know that would never happen. Do you remember what I told you about monsters?” He questioned. Yuji rubbed at his eyes, his head shaking ‘no’ in response. Swiping his thumb across the underside of his leaking eyes, Choso wiped his rampant tears away.
“They’re not real. They’re just in our heads, right?” His finger tapped against his small forehead. “Even if monsters were real, your big brother would never let it eat you, I can promise that.”
Yuji peered up at his brother, his curious wide eyes on full display, as if his big brother had all the answers to life. If Choso told him the grass was blue and the sky was green, he’d believe him. To Yuji, his brother could do no wrong. A twinkle met his large brown eyes as his head tilted to the side,
“You’d beat him up?” He asked hopefully. A crack of a grin broke across his face as Choso nodded in agreement. 
“Mmh.” Choso ruffled the pink of his hair, giving him a reassuring smile. Yuji cuddled himself against his chest once more, previous shaky breaths finally evening out to small hiccups. The redness to his plump cheeks were starting to fade leaving tiny blotches of hysteria in its wake. Those tears that seemed never ending like a rushing waterfall growing into quiet sniffles. 
A steady silence filled the room until Yuji pulled his head away from Choso’s now damp shirt. With nervous eyes he hesitantly looked down to his fidgeting hands. Rubbing his palm against his heated skin, Choso wordlessly urged his kid brother to speak up, knowing there was clearly something swimming around his mind. Reaching out for the plush brown bear, Yuji held it to his chest as he inhaled steadily. 
“Can… can I sleep in your bed, please big brother?” The flush of innocence to his tone was a gentle reminder to Choso that although his little brother was rather brave for his age, he was still only five years old and sometimes, extra reassurance was required. 
“Sure, kiddo.”
Yuji leapt towards Choso, his small arms encircling his brother’s neck as he let out a cheer of delight. Smiling to himself, Choso plucked the blue star blanket he knew the child struggled to sleep without and stood from the bed. Yuji’s head laid against his shoulder as the pair started walking towards the master bedroom. Choso flicked the hallway light off and turned the handle to his room, stepping into the darkness with his brother in his hold. 
The small lamp on her bedside was still lit as the two brothers entered the room, the sudden presence capturing Y/n’s attention. Choso didn’t fail to notice the smile that graced her beautiful features as she caught sight of the pink haired boy in his grasp, and the way her arms opened up on instinct. A gasp of excitement broke from Yuji’s chest as he met the eyes of his second favorite person in the world. 
“Y/n!” Yuji shouted. Shaking from Choso’s arms, he scrambled against the fluffy duvet as he crawled to Y/n. A large grin illuminated on his face as he fell into her welcoming embrace. “Big brother is letting me sleep in his bed- do you think we can snuggle?”
His strawberry scented hair tickled against her chin as Yuji buried himself further in her chest, cheeks still slightly damp from his crying from before now pressed to her skin. Y/n drew her nails up and down his spine, scratching his back as one comforting their young would do, then kissed the side of his head. 
“Of course, baby.” 
Choso reached out for Yuji from behind and lifted him, allowing Y/n room to pull the blanket down so he could sneak in beside her. Once Yuji was under the covers he yanked the dark material up and settled in below his chin, his arms falling above the blanket then effortlessly positioned himself on his side so his little body was nearly attached to Y/n’s. Yuji innocently cradled his face into the warmth of her chest. Y/n giggled at his forwardness and wrapped her hold around him, pulling Yuji closer and kissing his ruby cheek, to which the boy snuggled in closer. 
Choso couldn’t resist the chuckle that broke from his chest making the tattoo line across the bridge of his nose scrunch in amusement as he watched how easy his brother made himself at home in the bedroom he shared with his girlfriend. Yuji pranced in the room and fixed himself up in Choso’s bed next to his girlfriend like he owned the place- like he was the one paying rent. Tugging his shirt off, Choso threw the cotton to the side as he slipped into his side of the bed and shot Y/n an apologetic look. 
“I’m sorry, angel. Yuuji had a nightmare then was certain he saw a monster outside his window so he’s pretty shaken up.” 
“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for taking care of him, Cho. There’s plenty of room for all three of us up here.”
Choso’s eyes drifted to his nightstand, purple orbs landing on the sealed up backwoods as he mentally cursed himself, thank god Yuji hadn’t noticed it or Y/n was sure to chew his ass out. Looks like they’d have to save their smoke session for another night. Sliding open the bedside drawer, Choso swept the pre roll into the cupboard and shut it, tossing the blue lighter in alongside. The wine swayed in the glass from the movement, and he pushed it back a few inches so it was completely out of Yuji’s reach. 
Turning his attention back to the two Choso nudged his finger against the chubby texture of his little brother’s cheek. 
“But you’re coming in here to sleep, okay Yuuji? It’s bedtime, not playtime.” Yuji obediently bobbed his head in agreement, a twinkle of mischievousness sparking in his eyes. Choso knew that gleam all too well. Overall his kid brother was a relatively good listener, but there was always some catch, and when it came to bedtime, Yuji’s catch was his ability to ask a million and one questions before actually falling asleep. Y/n bit the inside of her cheek to keep from letting a laugh escape. Yuji was too sweet. Tapping his finger at Y/n’s arm, the small boy gestured towards the tv. 
“Can I watch a little of your movie to go to sleep?” His question was suppressed by his face being shoved into Y/n’s neck, but the words were clear enough. Y/n glanced at her boyfriend, an uncertain raise to her brows. Before he could decline his brother’s request, she shook her head softly. 
“Well… it’s sort of scary… maybe we should put something different on until you’re asleep.”
Instead of changing the channel, Choso opted for turning the volume down. It was a film he’d seen a thousand times over and he knew there wouldn’t be another scary scene for a good fifteen minutes, which opened the perfect window of sleep for Yuji. Unlike Choso who required a minimum of thirty minutes until sleep could greet him, Yuji could fall asleep at the drop of a pin, and based on the droopiness to his eyes, sleep didn’t seem too far off for him. 
“How ‘bout you try closing your eyes for sleep and we can have a fun movie day tomorrow, alright? Y/n and I are gonna go to bed soon, too.” Choso promised. The young boy tilted his head up towards his big brother, almost searching his features for any sign of lies, but Choso only stared back. Once he was sure his brother was telling the truth, Yuji nodded and forced himself to close his large eyes. 
Both adults watched the movie without a word, cautious to give Yuji a fair chance to fall asleep. Images passed on the screen of a seemingly happy family as they began moving into their new home. The children ran around outside the home, giggling and shouting with glee as the parents carried loads of boxes into the home. The scene hadn’t struck either Choso nor Y/n as one of importance as they both knew the ill awaited fate to meet the family, but through half lidded eyes, Yuji’s interest was quipped. The quietness lasted for no longer than a minute when Yuji moved his head, pink hair brushing against Y/n’s chin, and knocked at his brother’s shoulder. 
“Big brother…”
“Hm?” Choso replied. Yuji’s fixation was back on the television screen as he pointed his finger to the image. 
“Are you and Y/n gonna have babies?”
Both heads immediately snapped to the young boy, a gasp of shock sounding from Y/n at the sudden inquiry as her eyebrows shot up towards the sky. If someone was to take a picture of her face, she was sure she’d look like she’d witnessed a ghost. Choso’s mouth hung astoundment, the innocently worded question clearly hitting him like a smack across the face. 
“What?” 
Y/n quietly stared at her boyfriend for help, unsure what to say in response. Yuji on the other hand sat unwavered as he wiggled against her, trying his best to find the most comfortable position. Choso lifted the comforter of the blanket so Yuji had more access to cover his small body, then provided a brief shrug. Giving his girlfriend a look of uncertainty, Choso sighed at the oddly deep question. 
“Not for a while, little man. We’ve already got you to take care of so I think we’ll wait a bit.” Choso spoke softly.
“Oh… okay.” Disappointment flooded his tone. Seeing his face drop in such a sad manner made Choso feel a bit bad for letting him down. Of course the couple planned on having children, it was a topic they’d discussed more times than they could count, but it wasn’t necessarily a priority at the moment for either of them. Choso wanted Yuji in school, and Y/n to have her dream wedding to him before either of them seriously took action to have children of their own. In the meantime, they certainly enjoyed practicing the baby making process- but Yuji didn’t need to know about all that. 
Yet it seemed Yuji’s curiosity was not quite settled as he once again tapped Choso on the shoulder,
“Big brother?”
“Yeah?” He tiredly mumbled out. Y/n laughed at the exasperation in Choso’s voice. It was no secret, Yuji had hit that age where his questions and curiosity had no end. Every meal was filled with a game of 21 questions asking what was in the food, how was it made, where did the ingredients come from, why does it call for carrots and not chocolate, and so on. His mind had no limits, and most of the time, Choso was grateful for that, except for now when Yuji was meant to be asleep, not firing inquiries left and right. Stealing a glance to Y/n over his shoulder, Yuji turned back to his big brother, a shade of scarlet painting his skin. 
“Can I marry Y/n when I’m a big kid like you?” Large brown eyes bore up at Choso as Yuji hugged his teddy closer, a faint blush flushing his cheeks. Choso was aware of his little brother’s crush on his girlfriend, and honestly, he couldn’t blame the kid. Y/n was attentive, caring, selfless, kind hearted, and not to mention gorgeous, so he could see plain as day why Yuji had a crush on his girlfriend. Still, the question knocked him back a step in surprise. Tonight's line of thoughts racing around the child’s mind seemed larger than normal. 
“I’m sorry, little man but I was planning on marrying Y/n. I don’t think it’d be very fair if you stole her from me, do you?” His brows pulled together into a thin line at his brother’s new inquiry. First babies, now he wanted to marry Y/n? Choso was scared to hear what Yuji had up his sleeve to ask next. The child’s expression went glum once again, a heavy pout coating his pink lips. 
“No… I guess not… I just really like to snuggle with her…” He admitted. His confession brought a cheesy grin to Y/n’s face. Yuji had always been adorable to her but now she found him even more of a sweetheart. Arms still wrapped around him, Y/n pulled Yuji in further to give him a hug, which he happily accepted. 
“You can always snuggle with me, bubs, but I’ll bet when you’re a big kid like your brother, you’re gonna meet a pretty girl you’d rather cuddle with instead.” Y/n laughed slightly as she glanced down at the young boy. She found it irresistibly adorable Yuji had developed a crush on her, but she also knew it was sure to fade as he grew, nonetheless, it was one of the cutest things to her. Kissing his temple, Y/n gave him one last squeeze then loosened her grip as a loud huff tumbled from Yuji’s parted lips. 
“Not true! You’re the prettiest girl ever! I don’t want another girl- gross!” Yuji’s tongue fell from his mouth as he made an absurd gagging sound. In his mind, the idea of snuggling another girl was the most disgusting thing he’d ever heard- but snuggling his big brother’s girlfriend? Now that was a totally different story. Choso sent a flick to the side of Yuji’s head, snickering to himself as the boy yelped and grasped for the point of impact. 
“We’ll see if you change your mind, how ‘bout that?” Yuji shook his head ‘yes’, agreeing to his brother’s words. Y/n suppressed a giggle as she looked over to Choso, amused by his twinge of annoyance at what she found to be adorably harmless questions from Yuji.
While Choso quietly pondered over his brother’s words, the small boy seemed to be warming up to the idea of bedtime. Yuji’s big eyes were casually drooping lower and lower with every blink he took. 
“I think someone is sleepy…” Y/n’s tone was teasing as she poked the chub of Yuji’s cheek. His usual hyperactive nature was calmed down to a simmer, and Y/n could feel him sinking into her hold. Not much longer and she was sure he’d be out like a light. As if reading her mind the young boy let out a loud yawn.
“I’m just gonna close my eyes for a little bit.” Yuji seemed to be making the promise more to himself than anyone else. Choso nodded, feigning belief, his brown strands threatened to slip from the rubber tie holding his hair in two loose spiky ponytails as he moved his head. 
“Okay, kid. I believe you.” Choso smirked.
Twisting his body, Yuji pressed his back against Y/n’s chest. She wrapped her hold around his smaller frame, allowing his little arms to lay ontop of hers, then reached his other hand out to hold the edge of his brother’s pillow. Choso could feel his tiny legs folded, Yuji’s knee pressing against his side. The kid was never one for a normal sleeping position, Choso thought to himself. 
Nuzzling his head against the plush mattress, Yuji peaked his eyes open and gave his brother a soft smile. The hand clutching Y/n’s arm gave a squeeze as his sleepy voice mumbled,
“I love you, big brother… I love you, Y/n…” 
“I love you too, Yuji, sweet dreams.” Y/n leaned down to press a loving kiss to the boy’s forehead. Pulling away, she brought her hand up to stroke at his light pink strands. Choso smiled to himself at the sight, then reached his hand out to pinch at the excess of skin on his little brother’s cheek. 
“Love you, little man. Sleep tight.”
A stillness enveloped the room in a circle of quietness, the sound of Yuji’s faint breathing followed by light snores being the only steady sound. Choso waited a few minutes before reaching for the remote and turning the volume up slightly, their mutual resistance to having Yuji listening in now wiped clean. Although both had their outward attention focused on the movie playing, neither were mentally zeroed in on it. In fact, they were both thinking about the same thing, thinking about what Yuji had said; having kids, getting married, spending the rest of their lives together. 
Of course this was a common thought that roamed around in Choso’s head, he had just never realized he wasn’t the only one who thought about it. Cracking a smirk, Choso settled his arm around the middle pillow supporting Yuji and placed his hold on Y/n’s shoulders. His fingers unintentionally tickled her skin and her body subconsciously melted into his touch. Letting out a chuckle, Choso turned his head in her direction, 
“Can’t believe my kid brother is trying to steal my girl from me.” Y/n laughed at his remark, amused by the idea of Yuji wanting to marry her when he grows up. It was a sweet gesture in her eyes and made her feel grateful that he held such a high opinion on her. Of course, it was his elder brother Y/n planned to wed, the thought meant the absolute world to her. 
“I don’t know, babe, give it a few years and he just might do it.”
Choso lolled his head to the side, a look of idiocy gracing his features as he rolled his eyes. Grabbing her free hand he brought her fingers up to his face and pressed his lips against her ring finger. Although the finger was bare of jewelry at the moment, Choso was determined to change that fact soon. Without Y/n’s knowledge Choso had been saving a portion of his work checks on the side, saving for a sparkling diamond ring to adorned her hand.
Knowing his girlfriend, Y/n would accept a bread bag tie or a ring pop even. Money wasn’t something they were swimming in, and she loathed the rare occurrences Choso would splurge on her. However, Choso wanted her to have a diamond ring- no, he needed her to have one. After all she had helped him through, all the times she had been there for him and his brother, Choso wanted her to see how much he truly appreciated her, so no ordinary ring would do for him, it needed to be perfect. Laying her hand against his chest, Choso narrowed his gaze playfully. 
“You’re talking like I won’t have a ring on that pretty finger and you tied down to me by then.” Laughing at his statement Y/n simply shook her head at him. 
“I’m already tied down to you, Choso. You’re stuck with me forever.” Y/n teased, sticking her tongue out momentarily to tease him. She knew if he had asked her to marry him right then, she’d say yes, zero hesitation in her answer. It was no secret that she planned on spending the rest of her life by his side. 
“Good, ‘cause I wasn't planning on letting you go.”
Yuji stirred between them, faint groans of tiredness breaking from his lips as his body jerked in his sleep. Y/n retracted her hand from Choso’s body and soothingly ran her fingers up and down the child’s back, silently lulling him back to his peaceful sleep. Yuji cuddled further into her hold, a sigh of contentment escaping his parted lips. Choso watched the two, his heart fluttering as Y/n effortlessly brought comfort to his brother without even a word. 
Glancing up to her quiet boyfriend, Y/n sent him a sweet smile.
“Are you staying up for a while?”
“Yeah, I’m not too tired yet but I won’t be too late.” He nodded. It was no secret Choso had adopted a poor habit of staying awake until the sun rose, especially on the weekends. No matter how much effort Y/n devoted to breaking this habit, it lived on.
Propping herself on her elbow, and cautious for the child in between, Y/n reached across the space between the couple. Receiving the unspoken message loud and clear, Choso turned his face, allowing opportunity for their lips to touch as he kissed her sweetly. The exchange was short and loving, but Choso took every advantage of the moment as he relished in the feeling of his lover pressed against him. His lips greeted hers in a passionate embrace, despite their awkward positioning. A tiny hint of a smile cracked through her lips as Y/n pushed her lips against his, gentle yet determined to prove her love, which he effortlessly felt. Pulling apart, Y/n grinned up at him as she leaned back into her spot on the bed, snuggling up against her pillow. Blinking her e/c eyes up to him, a stroke of red flushed her s/c cheeks as she blushed. Y/n could spend the rest of her life kissing her lover and still would never grow old of the butterflies his lips released inside her soul. 
“Okay,” She whispered. “Turn the tv off at a good time, you had a long day.” Choso’s hand ran along the top of her head, petting at her hair with a gentle smile. His insides fuzzed at the sincerity to her words. The caring nature Y/n held always had him feeling so loved and looked out for, it truly meant the world to him. 
“Thanks, pretty girl. You’re always taking care of me… well, us.” He gazed down at his sleeping brother. Y/n leaned further into his loving strokes as she reached her arm gently across Yuji’s body to lay still against Choso’s chest. The action was simple, but the effectiveness was strong. A chorus of chills danced down his spine at her touch to his bare skin. There was no element of sexualizing to her touch, no hidden agenda, no further want but a safe place to rest.
“You say that as if two don’t take care of me as well. We all need each other.” Y/n argued. A comfortable silence greeted the pair as Choso basked in the comfort of her hand against his skin. The movie on the TV played on deaf ears while Y/n’s eyes slowly grew heavy in weight.
Reaching around his shoulder Choso grabbed the wine glass from the night stand, bringing the glass to his lips he sipped the red liquid, feeling his body relax at the taste. Red wine had always been a favorite of his, a taste Y/n had developed a liking to after multiple tries of her lover convincing her it was the superior choice. Many things had changed in her life after Choso and Yuji, such as red wine over white, nights in over nights out, and sharing the bed over sleeping alone. 
Choso set the glass down, opening his mouth to make a remark about how the chilled beverage was now warm and apologize once again for the bump in their night, when he was suddenly taken aback by the look on his lover's face- the love pouring from just one look. 
“About tonight-” A quick roll of the eyes and a motion of the hand caused Choso’s words to fall flat against his tongue. 
“Don’t. I wouldn’t choose anything over this.” Y/n smiled.
Careful for the boy laid between them, both leaned across the mattress, unable to resist the need to feel her once more, allowing their lips to meet in the middle. Choso’s hand curled around the side of her face, his thumb caressing the skin as his lips devoted all the passion and love his heart could express. His soft kiss brought a sense of home to Y/n, her hold clasping on the back of his neck, not allowing a chance to break. She swore she could feel her heart physically warming as his lips moved against hers, savoring every moment of his love. Every kiss they shared held a piece of their love, yet this one was received stronger. 
Pulling away, Y/n leaned her forehead against his, quickly pressing a final ‘goodnight’ kiss to the corner of his lips, causing a smile to rise. Even in the poorly lit room Y/n could see the red rush of blood to his cheeks. Leaning back she cozied herself underneath the heap of blankets, allowing Yuji to cling to her once more in his asleep state. Resting fully against her pillow, Y/n looked up to Choso one last time before allowing her heavy eyes to finally shut for the night. 
“I love you.”
“I love you too, angel.” Choso whispered through the still air. 
It didn’t take long for her even breathing to be heard and he was certain she had fallen asleep alongside his brother. Silently slipping out his phone from his side Choso snapped a series of photos of the two snuggled against one another, a grin adorning his lips as he did so. Yeah, he thought, I’m putting a ring on that finger real soon.
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cinnnamongrl · 9 months
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sorority secrets- ellie williams (part 2)
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pairing: college!ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: part 2 to this fic.
warnings: [18+ MDNI] explicit language, suggestive themes/language, kissing (gasp) [this series will contain smut later on- warnings will be listed accordingly]
author’s note: part two everybody clap. this is a little shorter but part 3 will make up for it .. wink wink. have fun and lmk all ur thoughts<33
was ellie delusional? was she a complete idiot for thinking there was something sapphic that was occurring between the two of you? did she dream up the flirting, the glances at her hands and quickened heartbeat visible through your dress when her face was close to yours? she didn’t know. all she knew was she had been tied up in too many situations where she’d misread signals and falsely assumed a girl was queer and interested to then find out she was straight, or involved with a guy. and fuck going through that again. so she decided to distance herself. luckily for her, there hadn’t been any mandatory eta meets lately and you didn’t share any classes together. her plan to leave you alone and let you pursue this chad guy was going perfectly.
you felt like shit. you felt like the worlds biggest asshole for telling everyone you had a crush on a guy 3 minutes after ellie’s mouth was a few inches from yours, and not even talking to her after to maybe explain that, hey, i don’t even know who chad is. i was just being a pussy. now can we go back to where you were pressed up against me in the bathroom? another fun consequence of your lie was now having to pretend you knew who chad peters was when your sorority sisters would prod you for details on your big crush on him. you’d managed to work out through their giggly discussions that he was:
1. tall.
2. well endowed. (lucky you!)
3. a football player.
4. president of kappa upsilon sigma fraternity. the same fraternity your dad had been a part of.
fuck chad peters for existing and being the reason ellie wasn’t talking to you anymore.
you laid on your bed with yours and ellie’s chat open on your phone. your heard swirled with different excuses to use to text her, trying to silence your pride. it was your fault she was avoiding you anyway, you’d embarrassed her and hadn’t even followed up with an apology, instead you let your parent’s ideals and the pressure you put on yourself mess with your head.
fuck this.
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she didn’t tell you to fuck off so you considered that a win. it had been 17 minutes since you sent the last text, so you assumed the conversation was over. still, you picked up your phone every few minutes to check she hadn’t texted again. it was a natural place for the conversation to end, but… what if she was still upset with you? you threw your head dramatically into your pillow like a woman scorned.
curse your stupid love heart hand emojis, ellie thought. she tried to be chill and think about important things like the next paragraph on her text book, or replying to a text from emilia about some eta thing, or doing something about the clothes pile on her floor from 2 weeks ago. but she was sat in her desk chair analysing your emojis. which made her think about you. which made her think about the little eyebrow scrunch you did when you pretended to be annoyed with her, which made her think about your chest almost pressing into hers in the bathroom, which made her think about your neck, how it might look with-
KNOCK KNOCK
ellie scanned her room, kicked the pile of clothes into the corner, adjusted the hood of her grey hoodie and walked to the door. she opened it and was met with you, looking slightly awkward but in an (annoyingly) endearing way. she looked down at your hands. a box of capri-suns. a laugh escaped her throat. “hi” your voice a little unsure. “listen i know you’re studying i just thought i’d bring this to you it’s a joke because we talked about capri-suns sorry i’ll go i just thought it would be funny but i’m probably disturbing you so i’ll see you soon maybe y’know because of e-“ “come in” she cut you off.
you took in a breath and tentatively walked past her outstretched hand. you stood in the middle of her room, still processing that you’d asked ellie’s step sister to tell you where her dorm room was like a creep and then ran there to give her a gift from a stupid inside joke. “i’ll leave in a minute i just,” you thought for a second. you just what? you pointed a weak hand at the box of capri-suns in your other hand. she smiled slightly “i see. thank you.” she took the box from your hand and started to rip it open as she sat down in her desk chair. you watched her for a few seconds before a brightly coloured pouch came flying at you, your instincts managing to kick in at the last minute so your hand could shoot out and clutch it against your torso, an action that lacked any hint of grace. ellie was visibly holding in a laugh as she pierced the tiny straw through her own drink. “don’t laugh! you didn’t give me any warning!” you blurted. “ok this is your warning. i’m going to throw a capri-sun at you.” not even half a second later another flash of colour shot towards you and you held you hand up in front of your face in protection. the pouch hit the floor with a gentle thud and you picked it up and stared at ellie who was now openly snickering at you. “you’re” you aimed it at her stomach “a dick” SMACK.
“ow!” she held the drink to her and looked up at you in disbelief before standing to her feet, eyes on you. a little jump of playful fear zapped through you and she grabbed a handful of capri-suns out the box and one after the other threw them towards you, no real force behind the throws. you backed away giggling until the backs of your knees met her bed and you fell back onto it. ellie didn’t let up her attack and continued walking towards you, fourth capri-sun hitting your shoulder a little harder than she’d anticipated. you clutched it theatrically and turned away from her, face pressed into her bed and keeping your body balled up like you’d been shot. a wave of panic went through ellie at the thought of accidentally hurting you. she placed herself next to you on the bed and put her hand on your back nervously “hey are you..” “HA” you lifted suddenly and held her body down onto the bed with your leg and repeatedly hit the capri-sun onto her arm, laughing at your own genius. ‘hey hey hey’ ellie spoke through her laughter and grabbed a hold of your arms, successfully pacifying you.
she looked at the sight of you above her, grinning, your chest rising and falling quickly. the memory of your truth or dare confession struck her. she let go of your arms and cleared her throat, sitting up slightly, making you remove your leg from her. you noticed her switch and before your brain could have an input your mouth got there first;
“i don’t like that guy.” you babbled. ellie stared at you. “what?” “that guy. chad. i didn’t even know a chad, it was the first name that came to mind.” “wh-“ she blinked a few times “what are you saying?” you adjusted yourself so you were sat on your knees. “i made up a fake crush when emilia asked because i got scared.” ellie frowned, “scared of what?” “you.” a short laugh escaped her, the confusion obvious on her features. “me?” “yes, scared of you and…” “and what?” her eyes were still fixed on you and it took great effort to stop yourself from doting upon her freckles and her pretty lips “..the way you make me feel.” you looked down. ellie’s tone changed, there was a depth to her voice. “and how’s that?” your eyes remained focused in on a crease in her sheets. “like..” “hey, look at me.” she raised your chin with her index finger. you complied. and she wanted to hear you talk but god did she also want to kiss you right now.
“..fuzzy. and all hot and nervous and i haven’t stopped thinking about you since i met you which is stupid and scary and-” and then her lips were on yours, it was soft and sweet and it gave you butterflies. it was delicate and gentle and tender, until it wasn’t. until it was deepening, her tongue was meeting yours and you had butterflies in a whole new way. her hand found your face and she cupped your jaw while the other made it’s way to the back of your neck, the intensity of both her hands holding you making your head spin a little. she kissed you with all the desperation of a man starved and yet all the technique that made it seem like she already knew exactly what your body wanted from her.
feeling suddenly restricted in the sitting position on your knees you leaned into the kiss and placed your hands either side of her, lifting your ass from your legs and leaning into her on all fours, mouth not leaving hers. ellie felt your body shift and broke away from you, noticing your new position. “you.. can’t do that” she let out breathlessly. “d-do what?” you were suddenly hyper aware of your body, realising that you probably did look a little pathetic in near-enough doggy position while you’re kissing for the first time. “because i want to be respectful,” she calmed her breathing slightly “but the way you look now is making me have not so respectful thoughts” your face heated and let out a shy giggle. “..sorry.” the corner of her mouth lifted into a smile. you continued “but uh… you don’t have to be respectful… if you don’t want.” you looked up at her and absentmindedly brought your bottom lip to chew on at your nervous attempt at playful seduction. ellie looked down at your mouth and within the beat she’d captured it with her own, kissing you hard again and hands stoking up your arms that were still held up on her bed.
part 3
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taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @nil-eena @girlfr1endism
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714 notes · View notes
ja3yun · 4 months
Text
The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.3
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sim jaeyun x afab!reader
warnings: suggestive (smut-ish flashback), angst, lost love, pet names, not many warnings tbf, and not proofread. anything I missed please lmk!
wc: 10.3k+ (honestly, i need to make these shorter)
synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.
part 1 | part 2 | part 4
a/n: hi! I'm giving you this chapter kinda quickly. heavy appearances from my wjsn ults because they are now integral to the story &lt;3 will update the next part during the week
4 years have passed since you left. No contact with your family, sometimes opting to send them a Christmas card with no return address just to let them know you’re alive. You missed them like crazy, more than any words could explain. It had been so long sometimes you wonder if you should go back, even for your mum’s birthday but it would be too awkward. The dramatic teen you left behind is who they knew you as, not the woman you’ve grown up to be. 
College changed you dramatically, for the better you like to hope. Your roommate Eunseo quickly became your other half, showing you the ropes of Avanti, Being a year older than you she was accustomed to the college, she picked you up when you needed it the most and she didn’t even have to. You thought she took pity on you at first, just taking you under her wing because you were a crying dismantled mess. But she was simply just the loveliest person in the whole world. You wouldn’t have made it to today without her. She left college last year and got a job close by so you saw her often and you were thankful for her every day. 
Throughout your college experience you did the typical; study, party, make questionable life choices at said parties. But one thing you couldn’t do was get into a relationship. 
You started hooking up with guys in your second year, just flings and one-night stands. Eunseo supported your habits, “I will always support women's rights and also their wrongs” she used to say every time you pre-gamed and she never asked why you didn’t get into a relationship. 
Jaeyun’s name hadn’t left your lips in 1460 days. A choice that you made as soon as you stepped off the bus in Pyeongchang. Jaeyun’s name also hadn't left your mind in 1460 days. Every touch from another felt wrong, every chat up line, every unwarranted dick pic. It wasn’t him so it didn’t matter to you. 
You started to enjoy yourself more as time went on, creating a new friend group and new memories. By the final year of college, you were content with your life, finding a degree in film was a fluke but you ended up loving every bit of it, an internship was on the horizon at HYBE Media to shadow a music video producer, your hair routine finally working out. Everything was coming up Y/N. This was the right choice. 
Yet you still thought about Jaeyun every day. What was he up to? Did he like living in Busan? Was he with someone else? Granted you don’t like to think about that last one too often or else you get a tightness in your chest. You wanted him to be happy but selfishly you didn’t want to know if that happiness was because of someone else. 
“Helloooo, Y/N, are you even listening?” Eunseo’s hand waves across your face as you come back from your zoned-out state, “Tell me what I just said.” She huffs and crosses her legs and arms, sitting back knowingly. Eunseo had invited you to a coffee date in a quaint little shop outside of your university. She originally introduced it to you on your second day here and it became your favourite spot. Laughing, crying, and hungover, you both occupied this little shop as if it were your second home.
You smile guilty and laugh, “You were talking about how much you love me and that we should get married,” you shrug and tilt your head jokingly.
“Weirdly you are close!” Her pointer finger is now in front of your face as she leans forward quickly in a flash. 
“I was?” You gave an incredulous look with one eyebrow raised.
“Yes! It has to do with marriage.” Her hands gesture an arch that can only remind you of the one SpongeBob imagination meme and you giggle. 
“Please don’t tell me you’re marrying Serim after like 2 dates.” You half joke and half panic, it wouldn’t be unlike her to do something like that and you both know it. Eunseo takes in your expression and slaps the table loudly and laughs. If there was one thing your best friend wasn’t good at it’s being quiet, and you love her so much for it.
“I like him a lot, but no. Actually, it's about my sister. You know she’s getting married?” You nod, sipping your coffee, “Well of course I’m the maid of honor,” she lifts the back of her hands and twinkles them under her chin and you chuckle, “Someone dropped out and there is a spare seat. Yeoreum is a freak and needs it filled for everything ‘to go as planned’”
You had never met any of Eunseo’s family, they lived a few hours away and despite the effort Eunseo made to invite you to every family gathering, even Christmas, you declined not wishing to be a burden. “I want you to come. I checked your schedule and you’re free, I have a dress, I’m driving us up,” she keeps rhyming off every reason you have ever given her to bail on traveling with her, “and you owe me one.”
Furrowing your eyebrows and tilting your head you encourage her to continue, owe her for what? “Well you don’t owe me yet but I heard the best man is single, older than you, and has these gorgeous big eyes. I’ll set you both up.”
“So I owe you for something that hasn’t even happened yet? And you don’t even know if he is interested? Or single?”
“Details, details.” Eunseo’s hand waves dismissively, “Please just come. I want you to meet my family since you don’t have any of your own. Think of my family as yours.” 
Eunseo doesn’t know what happened back home. You never told her you didn’t have a family but that you were just estranged from them, never disclosing details, particularly that the reason you don’t go home is your own fault, she didn’t have to know. Eunseo didn’t know anything, not about Jaeyun, nothing at all and yet she didn’t pry into your past. You were so thankful for her.
“Eunseo,” rejection is on the tip of your lips but she’s pouting, her eyes big as she does her best to look cute, and to your dismay it works, “I’d love to come.” The sun suddenly started to shine and burn your skin as its light lay on you through the window.
“Amazing!” clapping her hands rapidly she giggles, “We’re leaving tomorrow.” 
Your eyes expand and she stands up not letting you protest at how soon the wedding is. “I thought she wasn’t getting married until Saturday?” You query and check your phone which reads Monday. 
Walking out she explains, “Yeah but I need to be there early for final fittings, yadda yadda, boring wedding stuff. So I’m taking you with me. Either that or you drive up yourself.” The glint in her eyes as she turns to you makes your face deadpan.
“Fuck you, you know I can’t drive.” She laughs and grabs your hand. 
“And I still don’t understand how you’re 23 and can’t even ride a go-kart without crashing.” Playfully you hit her arm and laughed, a memory of you and her go-karting painted your brain. After that, you never got behind another wheel. 
___________
You arrive at Eunseo’s parents' house and your jaw slacks open. It’s bigger than any house you’ve ever seen. Your best friend joked a lot about being rich but you didn’t know she was rich rich. There are stairs leading to a giant white door that compliments the ash-coloured stones that surround it. Moss is growing up on each side of the home with intentionally placed pink flowers decorating throughout. Those rich bitch houses are so ugly, I want as small a house as possible so I’m always close to you no matter what room I’m in. His voice plays in your head but you shake him out.
Her parents are graciously letting you and her stay in the spare bedrooms, you don’t dare ask how many rooms are actually in this castle. Something about the air feels strangely familiar. You shrug it off and head inside with your blue suitcase and steamed dress. You curse rich people for having so many stairs.
“My baby!” Eunseo’s dad shouts from the door, “How is my sweet angel?” He greets her at the top of the stairs and hugs her tightly. You miss your dad a lot. His comforting words, his piggyback rides, his weird cinnamon body wash that made you despise the spice, you missed it all. “This must be Y/N! It only took 4 years to meet you.” His chest lets out a deep laugh as he hugs you just as tightly as his own daughter. A smile plasters on your face as you hug him with one arm, the other outstretched to protect the dress. 
“Thank you for having me. It’s an honour to be part of your daughter’s big day.” Eunseo’s dad’s eyes turn to crescent moons as he smiles and steps aside to usher you into the big house. 
“The party is in a few hours. The happy couple aren’t here, running last-minute chores but you’ll meet them tonight.” He turns to you and points up the stairs, “Eunseo will show you where to get changed. If you need anything, me and the wife will be hovering around.” You side-eye Eunseo quickly and she smiles widely. She didn’t tell you about a party. 
Bowing slightly you thank him and follow Eunseo who is squealing, shouting about how excited she is for you to meet everyone. Sometimes you wonder if she is the relationship you’ve been seeking after Jaeyun, platonic or not, you love her all the same. 
A few hours later you hear bustling from the crowd gathered down the stairs, the party in full swing as Eunseo finishes curling a wispy strand of your hair. Glancing up at her you notice how beautiful she truly is; her bangs falling effortlessly to frame her face, her lips plump and naturally pouty, she was flawless. 
“If you keep staring I’ll literally take you on the bed.” She smiles and you laugh. Pouting her lips near your face she pretends to kiss you and you play into it. Life is so easy with her. “Go get changed, I need to see my masterpiece completed.” Walking away she picks up the dress and thrusts it into your chest, “You’re gonna look amazing. That babe of a best man is gonna fall at your feet.  Now go.” she shoos you into the ensuite bathroom.
Staring in the mirror you analyse her work on your face and hair. Never in your life have you ever looked so beautiful and you can’t help but stare. You shed your old life behind you yet this is the first time you really felt like you were reborn. The immature you left behind, the 23-year-old staring in the mirror coming up from the ashes.
Unzipping the garment bag you see the dress Eunseo picked for you and you gasp. Its a silky deep red dress. Far too sexy for something like this.
“Um, Eunseo? This dress is…” You hold it against you and observe what it would look like on you. Hot. That’s exactly how it would look and considering this was the first time meeting a whole family of someone dear to you, you’d rather be more covered up than this.
“Shut up it’s hot. My cousins will be wearing something way sluttier so it’s all good.” Her nonchalant tone doesn’t ease you but it’s either this or the dress she got you for the actual wedding. 
As you adorn the dress you notice how it fits you perfectly and hugs you in at the waist flatteringly. It’s been months since you’ve put something on this beautiful. Your cleavage is out just enough, the material stops at your mid-thighs, and you feel like a beauty queen. As you take yourself in your hand goes up to your necklace. That necklace. The gold of the sun complimented the dress perfectly. You never did bring yourself to take it off.
Opening the door you see Eunseo changed into a pastel blue dress, covering her arms and neck but cut out to leave her chest exposed just enough, a slit runs up her thigh. Your jaw is on the floor as she walks over and eyes you up and down. “Look at you! A literal goddess.” she smiles as she takes your hands. “You ready to upstage my sister at her own engagement party?”
“Eunseo…you did not pick these outfits to stand out on purpose did you?” Suddenly your heart is beating quickly and the urge to change is more than ever. 
“Of course not! We’re just hotter than anyone here, including her.” She laughs and hands you the pair of gold heels you eyed up as she unpacked her bags earlier. They were exactly your style. “Take these and put them on. Literally take them off whenever but for the grand entrance you need to be complete” She used her right hand to motion over your body. 
Putting the shoes on you grew about 4 inches taller and were on Eunseo’s eye level now. “Ready to rock this bitch?” You nod and she grabs your arm, dragging you down the stairs.
There are eyes on you everywhere and you can’t lie, it is a little uncomfortable considering the age range of the men staring are in their late 50s. It's a party like you’ve only seen in movies; waiters walk around with Hors D’oeurves and flutes of expensive champagne. You start to wonder how much all this cost and if you could convince someone at this party to pay off your student loan. 
“Hey Eunseo?” You grab her attention as she hands you a glass of bubbly happily, “I just realised I don’t know Yeoreum’s fiance’s name.” 
“Oh,” She laughs loudly and slaps your arm, “It’s Jaeyun.” Your heart stops for a moment, there are lots of Jaeyun’s in Korea. Jaeyun from TO1 could walk through that door for all you knew. “Jake is what he goes by though.” Your heart drops rapidly. There might be a lot of Jaeyuns but none that also go by Jake. Part of you wishes it was the biggest coincidence in the world but as voices fill the archway into the living room where you and your best friend reside you see Yeoreum, more beautiful than any picture Eunseo showed you could capture, and Jaeyun. Your Jaeyun.
Static is all you hear as you watch him greet guests and thank them for coming, and each footstep closer to you has your mouth going moist, ready to vomit. He hasn’t noticed you and if you had control of your body you would be bolting out the door instantly, but your mind has glued your feet to the floor. You take him, his face more defined than his previous squishy state, he’s wearing a fitted black suit blazer with no shirt underneath and matching wide-leg black trousers, and his hair is slicked back with stray pieces falling around his face. He looks expensive. He looks like the home you once knew.
You see Eunseo talking to you but as your eyes meet his, that static you once heard turns into rapid heartbeats. Your body is flushing with heat as you notice how his eyes widen for a second, his body turns to you instinctively.
“Eunseo!” Yeoreum squeals and shuffles quickly to give her sister an all-consuming hug, just like you want to do to Jaeyun right now. “Jakey come here” she beacons her fiance towards the both of you and without blinking or taking his eyes off you he walks cautiously forward. “You must be Y/N? Eunseo talks about you all the time.” 
She’s lovely. Gorgeous, clearly kind, she’s perfect just like her sister and it makes you want to cry. She’s perfect for him.
Plastering a smile on your face you fake glee as you hug her lightly, stealing another glance at Jaeyun while she can’t see you. He might have gotten older but those eyes still looked the same. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you pull away and step back, sole focus on his bride, “Congratulations.” It's bitter and you say it quickly.
“Aw thank you!” She beams and you feel like being sick again. 
“Excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom, I’ll be right back.” You excuse yourself and rush past the couple and Eunseo leaving a gust of air behind you. Clutching your chest you run upstairs for an escape. Out of all the best friend’s sister’s fiances, how was he the one you were faced with? Pushing the guest room door open you scuttle in and take a few deep breaths reliving the moments just before.
“Y/N?” The Australian accent hits you hard as you turn around and meet his eyes. It takes only seconds before his hands have cupped your face and his body dangerously presses against yours, so close you can feel his heart, a heart that used to beat only for you.
“Baby,” he pauses as his eyes search your face trying to convince himself that you aren’t a dream, “where did you go?” Jaeyun desperately whines, his voice cracking in sadness as his forehead touches yours. There is love laced within the melancholic question. Instinctively your hands grab his wrists as you close your eyes. “Princess, please talk to me. '' He's pleading, begging for any explanation. Jaeyun’s hands go from your cheeks and trace down your shoulders, his eyes scanning every inch of your face in desperation. He doesn’t believe you’re real and in front of him, your face is more mature yet still the same girl he loves even after all these years. 4 years he’s waited for you to come back to him.
Your silence and shallow breathing urge him to ask more questions, his thumbs stroking the area between the base of your neck and collarbone. “What happened?”
“You’re engaged.”  The first words out of your mouth take him aback. His mouth stays open, his hands leaving your body leaving you cold, and shivering. “She seems nice-”
“Don’t do that,” His bottom jaw slowly clenching as he speaks, “Please don’t act fine like this. Don’t make it seem like I’m the only one that’s hurting for us right now.” You sob without tears as you see him vulnerable and eyes beseeching. Jaeyun’s hands point to you before coming together in a praying motion, “I looked for you everywhere. I spent months trying to find you.” Deep down you knew he would have looked for you, but not for months, maybe for a couple of weeks before he left for Busan, but never months, “What did I do?”
Without a beat, you respond, “Nothing. You could never do anything.” 
“You don’t just abandon people you love, Y/N. Not us. There had to be something I did to make you fall out of lov-”
“Jake!” You hear a familiar voice shout and your head falls down to stare at your shoes. 
“Baby please,” Jaeyun wants to hold you, kiss you, understand what happened but he can’t. Not right now. 
“You should go, I’ll leave in the morning-”
“Don’t leave me again, baby, please.” His voice is quiet, despair etched within his tone. His eyes fall on your necklace, the necklace that he gifted you. His eyes trail down to properly take you in and if he wasn’t astounded before by your mere presence he was now, “You look so beautiful, just like always.”
“Jake your dad is gonna make a speech-” Heeseung's voice bellows throughout the room and yet you and Jaeyun don’t take your eyes off each other. As Heeseung walks in he freezes at the sight of you. Over the years Heeseung silently forgave you, seeing his best friend move on with Yeoreum brought him some solace when he thought about what you did to Jaeyun, but now the anger that was dissipated through time is bubbling up again, “Y/N? What the fuck are you doing here?” His tone is surprised more than angry, but you can tell he’s fuming.
You don’t dare look at him. 
“You should get back to your engagement party." Nothing but a whisper as it comes out. You’ve lost him as quickly as you got him back. You did this, and now you need to deal with the consequences. Brushing past him and Heeseung you make your way back to Eunseo ignoring his hand that grazed your wrist in an attempt to stop you.
His family was here, his friends, people from your past that you wanted to forget. The pressure was starting to become too much as you rushed down the stairs before colliding with someone, “I’m sorry.” You bow quickly.
“Y/N?” Mr. Sim’s voice quips in astonishment, “What are you doing here?” His head comes down so his eyes are level with yours, “What-” He has no words, looking at the girl he thought was going to marry his son. 
“Mr. Sim, It’s nice to see you again” You bow but still avoid eye contact. “I’m sure you’re proud of Jaeyun.” 
“Darling, we thought something awful happened to you.” The sincerity in his voice made you look up at him, heartache carved in your features “Your mum and dad haven’t stopped worrying about you.” A hand is placed on your shoulder and as you look down you see Eunseo.
“Girl there you are! You took one long bathroom break.” She laughs and bows to Mr. Sim, “Ready for your speech, Sir?” Mr. Sim looks at you inquisitively before returning Eunseo’s bow.
“I’ve been preparing this speech for years, only some minor tweaks.” His eyes find yours and you start to think maybe he’s hinting towards the speech he would have given at Jaeyun and your engagement party. “Better head.” Lips forming a tight smile he descends the stairs. 
His words circle your brain. You understood your parents would worry but all of these years you never had to face it, not until your past was being pushed onto you. Eunseo takes your hand and pulls you to the dining area where people are gathered to make speeches and say their congratulations. 
Jaeyun strolls in behind Heeseung, his hands in his pockets before he notices his soon-to-be wife and wraps one arm around her. Tears threaten to spill as you watch the loving action. That should have been you. You should be marrying him, taking his second name, being his everything.
A fork clinks with a wine glass as Mr. Sim starts his speech. “Thank you everyone for coming. I will make this short considering I’m sure you’re all sick of us talking, especially when there is a free bar.” the people occupying the room laugh loudly and you see Yeoreum smile up at Jaeyun. It killed you but like always you put a smile on your face, “My son, he’s always been someone to wear his heart on his sleeve, always giving one hundred percent of himself to the person he loves,” Mr. Sims eyes fall on you and you feel like the speech is somehow directed to you, “Jaeyun deserves to have someone who loves him unconditionally, without prejudice, without pride, and always with his best interest in mind. I believe he’s found that.” 
Crushed. Your heart can’t take the rest of the speech as you walk out of the room and bolt for the entrance of the house. Heaving your chest to gasp for air you feel yourself clutching at your chest, if you hadn’t had a panic attack before in your life you would have thought you were having a heart attack. You breathe out harshly, gasping for air as you lean on the banister. Someone comes up behind you and places a hand on your shoulder gently. 
You hear muffled words but don’t take anything in as the figure guides you to sit on the steps, their hands rubbing your arms to keep you warm.
“Breathe for me, Y/N. He He Hoo or whatever.” You follow the words and inhale two breaths sharply and exhale extendedly. “That’s it.”
Your vision starts to come into focus as you see Heeseung in front of you, his Bambi eyes soft as his thumbs rub circles into your upper arms, “Keep doing that for me, okay?” He’s always been so kind to you, that you want to cry and he notices, “Hey, look at me, Y/N. Tell me about that band you used to like way back when.” Heeseung is trying to distract you but your brain is fuzzy and tears are rolling down your face, “The one with that rapper Jaeyun was always jealous of because you had him as your lock screen?"
“Monsta X?” you breathe out and he smiles lightly.
“Yeah, tell me about them. Are they still together?” His hands leave your arms as he discards his jacket from his body and wraps it around you.
Nodding you start to answer his question, “Yeah, they’re still together.” You sniffle and feel your heart start to slow down and breathe at ease, “Most of them are in the military now.” Your lips naturally form into a pout as you think about your favourite band being separated, not being whole until 2027.
“Sucks doesn’t it? I felt the same about ONF.” He laughs and so do you, letting out a singular sob as you do so.
“I didn’t mean to come here, Hee. Her sister is my best friend.” His eyes go wide and then looks down, his hands finding their way to your knees. 
“Y/N, you can’t be here. He finally moved on.” There is a pleading intertwined with sorrow in his voice and you slowly nod. “He’s happy.”
“Heeseung?” Jaeyun’s voice pierces through you, the warmth from Heeseung’s jacket becoming null as goosebumps prickle your skin. “Can I talk with her?” 
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, man.” They’re talking like you aren’t even there and a part of this too yet your voice is too weak to speak up and share your thoughts. Tension is looming in the air as Heeseung gives the man you love a stern stare, but Jaeyun has always been stubborn when it comes to you. If he can’t talk to you now he will find a way. However, for now, at least, Jaeyun listens to his best man, and with one more glace to your fragile body he heads back to his party. It hurts him to see you like this, he wants nothing more than to swoop you up and take you in his arms like he used to all those years ago.
The party continues as you head back in making your way to the guest bedroom, giving excuses to those asking simply saying you’re tired from travelling. You miss him being yours. That was the real exhaustion.
________
The party ended a couple of hours ago, the once loud and busy foyer now dark as you tip-toe down the stairs, heedful to not wake anyone up. It’s 5 am when you awake dying of thirst and decide to leave the comfy double bed of the guest bedroom and get a glass of water. Looking around you see empty wine glasses, a few smashed ones lined up on the long table just beside the stair banister. It truly was a magnificent party and in any other circumstance, you would have had a great time. Yeoreum’s family is lovely and welcoming it’s no wonder they have so many friends, and no wonder Jaeyun fell in love with her and fit so perfectly as her soon-to-be husband. 
A leak of light bleeds from the kitchen and you presume an under-unit lamp is still on but as your feet scuffle into the kitchen you see a broad back staring at you. Taking in the figure you notice their blue and yellow checked pajama bottoms and casual black t shirt evidently not intended to be worn together but clearly the first thing they could find. 
A creak sounds from under you alerting them of your presence causing them to whip around. Jaeyun. One of his eyes was shut indicating he was not long up himself, his dark hair fluffy and tussled but still slightly in place due to the remnants of styling wax. He takes your breath away every time.
“Hi.” You whisper and make your way to the fridge. Heeseung was right, it wasn’t a good idea to speak to each other. When you saw Jaeyun again after all these years you thought he would be mad, scream at you to get out, seething in hate, but that was never who Jaeyun was. Instead, you felt his love shooting through you and that was the dangerous part.
“It’s late.” His eyes never leave you as he watches you pour a glass of filtered water. 
“Or early.” You shrug and lean against the unit not daring to look at him. “I guess it depends on whether you went to sleep or not.” you mumble, small talk never being your thing. 
Jaeyun still feels like he’s in a dream. Your presence is haunting yet he hasn’t felt more at home. Just the simplicity of you being in this kitchen is enough for him to experience contentment he hasn’t felt in years. Not since then. 
“When did you get engaged?” The question punches him slap-bang in the middle of his chest, the wind escaping his body. 
With his head hanging low and his middle finger tracing his coffee mug he muttered, “ A few months ago.” to which you nodded and pursed your lips. “What about you?” he questions back, “you seeing anyone?”
“No.” It’s sharp and direct but you don’t want to touch on the subject any further, you didn’t want to accidentally divulge that you couldn’t get over him, not when he was sitting afore you an engaged man. It’s embarrassing.
Jaeyun sucks in a breath and holds it as if he was going to say something but in his hesitance, you speak up again. “Eunseo, she’s my best friend.” giving the information as a way to explain why you’re here. “I didn’t know it was you getting married to Yeoreum, I promise.” Your eyes are begging for him to look at you so he can see the sincerity in your words but he never does, opting to just nod slowly. “I’ll make up an excuse to get out of here before the wedding.”
“Why did you leave, Y/N?” Jaeyun’s voice is soft but laced with hurt, “Tell me why because for 4 fucking years I still haven’t been able to figure it out.” 
No words come out of your mouth, instead, you bite your lip trying to pluck up courage, suddenly the idea of him looking at you made you uncomfortable but of course, now his eyes are on you. “You owe me that much.”
“I-,” You place the glass of water down and grip the counter behind you tightly, “I…I didn’t get into any colleges that I applied for, none near Busan. Only one accepted me but it was a few hours away.” His eyebrows are crossed in confusion as he asks, “What do you mean? I thought you only applied for ones near Apollo. We had planned-”
“My grades weren’t good enough to get into any colleges in Busan.” There is a slight venom in your tone but it’s not directed at him but rather yourself. “If I had told you I wasn’t going with you, I was scared you would give up your dream school and just fuck it all off to be with me.” You finally look at him and the confusion is dispelling from his face as you continue, “You said it yourself, you would have gone anywhere if it meant being with me. I couldn’t ask you to do that. I would live with the guilt every day, watching you attend a subpar college all because of me. I loved you Jaeyun I couldn’t do that to you.” 
Jaeyun doesn’t miss the past tense usage of ‘love’ but he rewinds, “So you left our relationship because…it would be long distance?” 
“Jaeyun it wasn’t just that, I did think about long distance but I knew you would grow at college without me, i kept thinking about what you said. The whole slowly breaking away from each other because we become different people stuff got in my head and I couldn’t bear to slowly lose you, so I-”
“So you thought leaving me without a word was the right way to go? Y/N we could have worked it out, we would have figured out a solution.” Jaeyun stands up and walks over to you, “I didn’t mean to pressure you into moving, or applying for the same college, or fuck even making you doubt our chances at long distance.” His hand naturally caresses your cheek as you let a tear slip.
Shaking your head you look up at him, “I was stupid and I didn’t want you to worry about me, you already had so much going on between work and school. But look, you went to college and you grew up, look at what you have.” Your hands gesture upstairs to where Yeoreum sleeps peacefully unaware of what is transpiring in her parent’s kitchen.
“We could have had this Y/N. You could be the one I’m marrying if you just let me look after you like a boyfriend is supposed to if you trusted me enough.”
“I did trust you.”
“Not enough to tell me what was going on when I gave you that ring. Y/N-” He huffs out loudly and drags a hand through his hair. “That should have been your opening to talk to me about all this. I love you so much I would have made long-distance work.” His deep eyes are searching into yours. All these questions he has and you can’t answer or retaliate to any of them. “When I gave you that ring and made that promise to be yours forever I wasn’t fucking around okay? I meant it.” He lets out a dry laugh and takes your hands in his. “Baby, I love you.”
You stand too stunned to speak. Here Jaeyun was after all these years still hopelessly yours. An engaged Jaeyun was still in love with you. You want to let out a laugh of disbelief but you’re frozen. The room is silent except for the annoyingly loud hum of the refrigerator. 
Jaeyun notices how your eyes fall to his lips as he licks them wet, taking the opportunity to lean forward just enough that his breath hits yours. If your lips touch you no doubt know you won’t ever let him go. 
“Jaeyun…”
Footsteps are heard behind you both and you push Jaeyun away forcefully but despite the other presence making themselves known, his eyes never leave your tear-glassed ones. “Baby,” he whispers just loud enough for you to hear but you shake your head and barge past him, head down so the other person doesn’t see you. “Y/N?” Jaeyun calls out, reckless abandonment is telling him to chase after you but as he feels an arm stopping him to a halt he looks up and sees Heeseung. 
“Jake, don’t.”
________
Stirring in your sleep you groan as you hear a plethora of laughing coming from downstairs causing you to take the pillow from under you and suffocate your ears with it. After last night’s tragic events you just wanted to go home. Nothing would make you happier than to catch the first bus back to your flat and rewatch every episode of Fleabag to take your mind off of everything. Jaeyun was still in love with you and selfishly you hoped he hated you after what you did, that way your heart wouldn’t leap at every word he said. 
Baby, I love you
You shake the thought away and give in, sitting up and looking around the room. Eunseo is gone, probably downstairs being the reason for everyone’s laughter you think to yourself. With a huff, you pull the covers off your body and immediately feel the cold breeze causing you to shiver. You don’t know if it's a coincidence or not but as goosebumps rise on your legs and arms, Jaeyun’s laugh is heard over everyone else. You missed his laugh so much, your heart had a shot of pain pierce come on so suddenly. There was a glimmer of sun outside that made your necklace sparkle as you proceeded for the door.
It was as if your ears could only hear Jaeyun as you walked quietly down the stairs. “If it’s Yeoreum making him laugh I might kill myself.” you mutter, pulling your hair up in a pony. It’s dramatic but right now you can’t face to see them in love, it hurts. You’re hurting.
“Y/N! You’re awake!” Euneo stands up and scurries to the kitchen, grabbing a plate for you, “Mum just made breakfast.” 
“Hey! I helped.” Yeoreum faked offence which Eunseo simply rolled her eyes in response. She handed you the plate before you could tell her you weren’t hungry. “Sit down, Y/N, please.” Eunseo’s mum points to the empty chair at the comically large table, you suppose she does have a large family. 
Luckily for you, the seat was situated far enough away from Jaeyun that you could avoid him, unfortunately, you couldn’t avoid his eyes burning holes into the side of your face. You ignore him and scan the feast of food before you and you wonder if this is what it was like for Annie in Parent Trap when Chessy made a buffet of all her favourites. “Eat up, Y/N, there is plenty here.” Yeoreum and Eunseo’s mum says.
“Thanks, Mrs. Son.”  You pick up a few hash browns and start to eat one. That’s when you become aware of the enemy of all condiments, black pepper. It was a great tool in the kitchen, adding a little flavour and spice. Not for you though, the black powdered devil always makes your tongue itch. Who the fuck puts black pepper on hash browns? You think to yourself, face scrunching and teeth running along your tongue as you pour yourself a glass of water and take a huge swig. It does nothing at all so you go to excuse yourself to get a glass of juice or anything with taste but before you can there is a glass of apple juice placed beside you. Glancing up you see Jaeyun placing the cup with a knowing look on his face.
Of course, he knew. He knew everything about you and with the face you were pulling it was one he had seen too many times at restaurants.
“Why the fuck would they season their food with this, like, isn’t that what these are for?” You grabbed a pepper shaker and started waving it in his face. You had both gotten back from a day-turned-overnight trip to the beach and stopped off at a service station in the middle of nowhere, the diner was quaint with an American feel to it, undoubtedly your favourite kind.
“Princess I think your weird tongue is the only one that would complain.” Jaeyun laughed and swapped your eggs for his bacon. “There, now there is no pepper in sight.” He also passed over his apple juice with a bright smile.
“Take this.” His deep voice pulled you back to reality. Thanking him you take the cup and chug it quietly, but everyone's eyes are on you.
“You don’t like the food, Y/N?” Mrs. Son says not offended but certainly not pleased. Waving your hand quickly you swallow the liquid and explain, “No, it's lovely Mrs Son, me and pepper just don’t go well together.” 
Yeoreum looks at Jaeyun with furrowed brows but doesn’t question it. There is a massive part of him that knows he should have left you to deal with it yourself so as to not raise suspicion but his instincts kicked in. He takes Yeoreum’s hand and kisses the back of it tenderly. It stings your heart.
“So,” Mr Son claps his hands diverting the attention to him, “I thought since the whole wedding party is here we should get to know each other. We will be family once Saturday passes after all.” A groan comes softly from your right and you turn to see Heeseung with his eyes shut. 
“If he makes us play charades I’m passing my best man duties to literally anyone else.” He whispers to you which causes you to snort laugh and bite your mouth shut. You miss Heeseung’s smile as he watches you. He always did love you like a sister despite everything. He knew this situation wasn’t just hurting Jaeyun and after last night he was sure you were just as heartbroken as he was.
“We’re going to have a friendly game of football!”
“Dad, I can’t get bruised before my big day!” Yeoreum exclaims, her arms wrapped around her body to protect her from an imaginary ball flying at her. Jaeyun laughs and rubs her arms, “Reumie I don’t think your dad means you guys.” 
Heeseung’s hand lands on your shoulder as you watch the loving act. They did look good together you couldn’t lie about that. Their energy matched, they would make the most beautiful children to ever walk this earth, and even their sense of style was similar - casual but fashionable. 
“I was going to say 5 v 5, there are enough men here right?” Mr Son starts counting around the table as Heeseung slowly slides down the chair, his eyes hidden behind this hand as he pretends to rub his forehead. 
“I thought you liked football, Hee?” You whisper but he shakes his head violently. 
“Used to. I have since grown a great distaste for it, especially with Yeoreum’s cousins. They’re brutal and leave me bruised.” he mutters the last few words and you laugh leaning close.
“Aw is Hee scared of a little bruise.” He doesn’t appreciate your taunting yet he smiles and rolls his eyes. “You’re almost as good as Jaeyun, you can handle yourself I mean look.” You sneakily point to one of the cousins who is on his 3rd plate of food, “He’s going to be so full he can’t move, stick by him and you’ll look like Messi or something.”
Heeseung laughs out loud, “Oh! Heeseung I almost didn’t count you.” Mr Son claps, “That makes 10!”
Heeseung’s tongue pokes the side of his face as his rage-filled eyes look right into yours. You mouth a half-hearted ‘sorry’ and hold in a giggle. “I’ll kick the ball in your face.” He warns but you’re too busy chuckling to notice. 
Eunseo’s eyes meet yours with her eyebrows raised. Giving her a confused look you knit your eyebrows together to ask her what that look on her face is for but she simply smirks and looks at Heeseung. Fuck. You forgot that was her favour to you, to set you up with the dishy best man. Oh if only she knew. You and Heeseung were so out of this world impossible that you had to fight to hold in your laughter. 
“What’s so funny?” Heeseung whispers and his lips graze the shell of your ear. You quickly turn around and his face is incredibly close to yours. Eunseo must be loving this.
“Eunseo promised to set me up with the hot best man. That was my bribe to get me here.” A shallow laugh leaves his throat and he sits up, hands pointed to his chest.
“I am hot to be fair.” He jokingly smirks causing you to hit his chest playfully. “What? Do you not think so?” 
“I know so. It’s just how cocky you are about it all,” Heeseung’s lips part to say something but you stop him, “If you’re going to make a joke about your dick I don’t want to hear it, Hee.” he shuts his mouth instantly. You missed this just as much as you missed Jaeyun. The banter between you and your friends is what kept you from losing your mind most of your high school days, and right now it’s taking your mind off this ridiculous situation. 
“Eunseo tried it on with me once,” Heeseung says while eyeing her up and giving her a wave. 
“But she acted like she didn’t know you? When she brought you up it was as if she had never met you.” He scoffs as you recall the conversation in the cafe.
“I rejected her, she’s not my type. Plus, she wanted double dates all the time, and don’t get me wrong I love Jake and Yeoreum but they’re insufferable. Kinda like you and hi-” He halts himself mid-sentence and looks at you apologetically. “Sorry.” You wave it off and pretend it doesn’t hurt you to hear before he continues, “I probably shouldn’t say this but if it’s any consolation, he isn’t half as infatuated with her as he was you.” It does bring some solace but you try not to let it sit in your mind too long. 
“I’m not having a great time with it but at least he’s happy.” You mumble playing with your fingers and picking at the skin. Heeseung’s big hands encase your smaller ones as he squeezes them discreetly.
“You’ll always be his first love, just remember that. And who knows,” He leans back in his chair with that smug look on his face once again, “Your next love might be the hot best man.” 
Pinching the bridge of your nose you can’t help but laugh again. “Heeseung please shut up.”
While you and Heeseung were talking, none of you noticed Jaeyun staring purposefully as if his eyes could pry you two apart. He wasn’t jealous, no, he was just wishing he was with you both like old times, laughing with you as if no time had passed. Yeoreum strokes his arm lightly and looks up at him. “Jakey, you okay?” to which Jaeyun hums and turns to her, kissing her forehead lightly. “Never better, Reumie.” Lies but as his lips touch her head he remembers last night and how his lips felt like they had found their way home.
“Okay! Let’s go and get ready for a full day ahead. The game starts in an hour.” Mr Son’s voice bellowed throughout the dining area.
“Come on,” Heeseung takes your hand and leads you to the kitchen, “You’re eating something before you’re tormented by the whole aunt brigade.” Heeseung’s always been so sweet. Whoever ties him down is going to be the luckiest girl in the world.
__
The game had been on for 20 minutes and you can’t escape the daggers coming from Mrs. Sim across the table. Of course she’s mad, you hurt her precious baby boy, you completely understand but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. She liked you a lot before everything went down, always treating you like her own but now it’s like her heart turned cold towards you, a contrast to her husband who seems to actually tolerate you enough to be civil. Meeting the Sim family again was beyond awkward but you were thankful none of them let on to the others about you and Jaeyun’s history. 
“My Jakey is so good at football. He said he used to play in high school.” Yeoreum gushes, her hands clasped beside her cheeks as she watches her fiance on the garden lawn.
“Yeah, he was the captain in high school. Almost got a scholarship but he didn't want to do that professionally.” You say and sip at your white wine and lemonade top. 
“How do you know he was captain?” The question comes from Eunseo and you nearly choke on the sweet wine. Shit 
“Yes Y/N, how do you know?” Mrs. Sim quips and you want to die. You look over at the men on the field and panic trying to find any rhyme or reason you would know that information. Maybe I should put on a strip and join them, a ball to the face would be less painful. 
“Oh, um, me and Jae- Jake spoke about it at the party. Getting to know him and all that.” your words are rushed and your hand reaches for the bottle to pour more wine. Admittedly, this is probably the last thing you should be doing, getting drunk and not running your mouth was never something that came easily. The party of girls nod and accept your answer. You need to be more careful. You don’t dare look at Mrs Sim with the fear of being obliterated on the spot. 
“You got this, baby!” Yeoreum shouts loudly and gains the attention of Jaeyun, his smile bright as he waves, his eyes never leaving yours. You smile back and give him two thumbs up. He starts to wipe his face with the bottom of his t-shirt to gather the sweat. It gives you a peak of his lower abdomen and you feel like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. 
The mind is a powerful tool and also your greatest enemy at the moment as you recollect every time you kissed down his stomach, sometimes leaving hickeys to mark him as yours. You remember how his jaw would slack open the lower you got, the moans that would fall from his lips as your tongue trailed from his belly button to the top of his boxer waistband. When his dick was pressed against that very stomach you would trace your fingers touching everything but his cock. You swallow hard, thighs clenching together, you can’t think these thoughts but fuck it was so easy.
Jaeyun notices your face change and smirks, biting his lip and ogling at your thighs rubbing against each other just like you used to when you were turned on by him. His eyes dart to his fiances but she seems unbothered by his act. Heeseung comes up behind him and wraps an arm over his shoulder. “Dude this is rough-” he pauses and follows Jaeyun’s eyes, “What you looking at? Yeoreum? Y/N?” he whispers only your name and it makes Jaeyun sigh.
“Let’s just get back to the game yeah? Sooner we beat these old men the sooner I can have a beer.” Heeseung laughs and claps his best friend’s back.
While you're zoning out, your best friend speaks up. “Heeseung looks good, huh Y/N?” Eunseo giggles and nudges your shoulder with hers. “I thought I saw him flirting with you earlier.” You laugh and shake your head dismissively. 
“Nah he was just engaging in conversation.” Everyone is looking at you waiting for you to elaborate, “Oh, it was just usual chit-chat. Weather, work, small talk stuff.” 
Eunseo doesn’t buy your chatter, she’s convinced after seeing you both this morning that you two will be the next wedding she attends. “Y/N, he was all over you at the table!” Eunseo chimes and tries to recreate the scene for the other girls at the table, “He was all like touchy, and your faces were like here!” Her nose brushes yours to which you laugh it off and push her lightly, shaking your head.
“Well I think you should try to speak to him more, he seems interested.” Yeoreum says and you try not to laugh in her face.
Mrs Sim snorts and sets her wine glass down. “Yeoreum, honey, Y/N isn’t his type. He likes classy girls, loyal girls with a good sense of worth.” Ouch. It was probably deserved but shit did that prick your heart. Eunseo looks at you confused but you shrug and don’t pay attention to it.
“Heeseung isn’t my type either.” you mutter. Yeoreum leans her elbow on the table and places her face in her palm as she asks, “What is your type then, Y/N?”
Jaeyun.
“Eh, I like guys who are sweet, um, they laugh at stupid jokes,” You start to look at Jaeyun as you continue, “I like when guys are attentive and know things about you that you don’t even really know yourself because they listen to every little thing you say.”
The girls around the table are gawking at you, “Y/N? Have you ever been in love? You must have been!” One of the bridesmaids asks excitedly. You shrug your head to the side and laugh.
“Once upon a time but that was forever ago.” You slyly look at Mrs. Sim and it was astronomically the worst decision. Her face was overcome with disgust.
Ironically, it’s Yeoreum asking the question now, “Tell us about it. Wasn’t he the ‘one’”. How do you say to her that your love, the one you want to spend forever with, is hers? 
“I think he was but I was an idiot, too young to understand that we should have fought through our challenges rather than me running away from them.” The honesty in your voice is raw and you’re holding down the tears. One of the bridesmaids asks, “How do you know someone is the one?” 
“J-” You almost say his name but smoothly continue without anyone noticing, “You know because there is an easiness in loving someone you know you're going to spend your life with. It comes naturally like breathing. There’s no trying to impress, no hiding parts of you. You both love each other like it’s the only thing you know how to do right. Even if you're apart, when you eventually come back together you slide right back into where you left off. Your love is infinite." 
Yeoreum starts to cry "That’s like me and Jake." The crowd of girls hurry to her side and hug her as she sobs, encouragements from her party saying how they are ‘meant to be’ flood your ears. While they are distracted you wipe a tear, that’s when you feel a hand hold yours. Mrs Sim has a mournful look on her face, her thumb swiping over the back of your hand now seated next to you. Its unexpected but this is a step up from the hateful glares and you’re more than thankful.
Her eyes hold a love for you just like those years ago, maybe it took you explaining your feelings for her to truly understand how sorry you were about the whole situation, opening her up to forgive you even a little bit.
Yeoreum composes herself, fanning her face with her hands as everyone proceeds back to their seats, everyone except Mrs Sim who stays by your side, forcing Eunseo to move to the opposite end. “Thanks, girls. Ugh I just love him so much.” 
Don’t ask it. Don’t ask it. Your brain is screaming to ask her the question that you know would set you off, “How did you two meet?” The words fall from your lips before you can catch them with your teeth.
A smile spreads widely across her face as her whole body turns to you. This is the first time you have properly examined her features and you wish you didn’t. Easily she is one of the most beautiful girls to ever exist, her small face but big features making her look otherworldly, her body is naturally slender, her black hair is long and sleek straight, her bangs fit around her face perfectly, her eyes gleamed with life and love. She was truly perfection. “We met at Apollo! You know the college in Busan?” Her eyes twinkle and you become jealous because in the past 4 years, your eyes have become dull and empty, “He was walking to class in the East block and I just thought he was the hottest guy I had ever seen.” 
Mrs. Sim delicately squeezes your hand but doesn’t spare a glance. Despite her feelings for you, she knows this isn’t easy for you and she doesn’t envy you in this situation at all. “I just walked up to him and asked him out. He was so reluctant at first, saying he was still getting over his ex,” she smiles at the memory, “and let me tell you, after that night he probably didn’t think about her again.” Yeoreum smirked as the girls squealed.
“Yeoreum, as his mother I don’t need to hear this.” Mrs. Sim scoffs, her face slightly disgusted. The bride-to-be mouthed a quick sorry and continued, “We went totally casual for a while, but you know how things escalate, he was in love with me by like the third time I met him.”
You nodded at her as she continued to tell you about her romance with the love of your life and you feel your heart slide its way into the pit of your stomach. It's nauseating how he found a love and you couldn’t even face dating anyone. But you couldn’t be mad, of course not, because you did this.
“Y/N?” You look up to see Heeseung and Jaeyun, both of them with their eyes on you purposefully. Yeoreum grabs Jaeyun’s hands yet his eyes don’t leave your face. Heeseung’s voice continues, “Can I grab you for a minute? I got a-” he pauses to think of an excuse, “I need a second pair of hands to bring out more drinks, yeah?” His eyebrow raises at you to follow along to which you nod and stand up. Noticing Eunseo’s stares you shake your head and give her a small smile. 
Heeseung’s fingers interlock with yours as he leads you away into the house and suddenly you feel like you can breathe again. “Y/N you okay? You looked like you were gonna throw up.” You look up at him, his 6”0 frame towering over you. 
“I’m fine, just asking questions I know I shouldn’t.” You let out a half-hearted laugh and smile sheepishly at him, “It’s okay. How was the game?” Proceeding to the kitchen you open the fridge to pick up the jug of margarita Yeoreum and Eunseo had lovingly made with way too much spirit and minimal mixers. 
“I still hate you for getting me caught, but we beat them so,” He shrugs and reaches from behind you to grab a six-pack of Peroni, “Wasn’t as eventful as your time at the interrogation table. I saw them all grilling you.” You snicker and disagree.
“Nah, they were just asking about my life, the usual.” It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either. 
Heeseung moves from behind you and leans against the kitchen island, one foot propped up on the base of the counter, swinging the beers between his legs. “How was Mrs. Sim? That must have been hard, I could feel her ice-cold stare from the other end of the garden.” He opens up the packet of 6 and hands you one, “Open this for me?” You nod and take it from him, setting the jug down to pop open the lid with the edge of the unit before giving it back to him. 
“I thought I was going to die I can’t lie, but then she was okay, I think?” You question the interaction in your head, “She was nicer to me as the afternoon went on, but I think it was pity.” Heeseung brings the bottle to his lips and sips the cold beer and his eyebrows lifted.
“I don’t think It would be pity, you know she loved you more than Jake, at least that’s what he always thought." He pauses and takes a sip from his bottle before dramatically pulling it from his lips and pointing towards you, "Fuck, didn’t she have your wedding dress practically paid for?” 
This was news to you and Heeseung guessed as much by the look on your face, “You didn’t know? She always went about how she had a separate savings account for you and Jake’s wedding. I think she still has it.”
You look at him quizically, “Wait, why would she still have it? Surely she would have put it to this wedding.” You search for a glass to pour the margarita into and wait for Heeseung to respond.
“Nah, they didn’t pay a penny for this. They don’t want him to marry her.”
“WHAT?!” You exclaim and turn around bug-eyed and mouth open, “What do you mean? His dad was saying all that nice stuff at the toast, and his mum looked like she was bursting with pride when Yeoreum was talking about Jake.” 
There was a silence in the air as Heeseung stepped forward and grabbed your shoulders, “They like her, but babe she isn’t you. Mr. and Mrs. Sim know Jake doesn-, you know what I shouldn’t be saying anything.” You plead with him to continue, gripping his hands that are placed on you, “Hee, please, Jake doesn’t what?”  
Just as Heeseung is about to divulge very useful information, Eunseo walks in with her hands up, “Ignore me, love birds, just came to get the jug of fun,” she spots it behind you and points, “Can you grab me that please?” 
Stepping back, Heeseung grabs the jug and hands it to Eunseo, “We were just coming out anyway, right angel.” 
Oh, you were going to murder him. His face smug and Eunseo’s mouth breaking into a large smile, you grab your glass and head out with them, Heeseung’s hands on your hips and lips to your ear, “Let me give her what she wants.” You turn around, eyes scolding him.
“Don’t even think about it, and don’t think I’ll let our little conversation go either.” As you walk and warn Heeseung, you’re already outside, a pair of usually wide, bright eyes, now thin as they watch you and his best friend joke around.
Jaeyun is seething.
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pink-bandana-writes · 11 months
Text
Margaritas and Misunderstandings
Raphael x Reader
Summary: Raphael never expected to meet his soulmate, especially not at a college Halloween party.
Notes: I love writing college-age turtles lol and I also really love soulmate aus and haven’t written any on this blog yet, so enjoy! Let me know if you want more parts to this one, I really like Raph and reader’s dynamic here.
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing
Word Count: 2k
Reader Is: In college, female
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Raphael had been convinced the words on his arm were a joke, some cruel reminder the universe had given him that he was unlovable. He wasn’t meant to have a soulmate. Look, he’d urge himself, standing in the mirror. Look at that. Ain’t no one gonna love all that.
The ink had appeared around the time Raph turned eighteen, about a month before his eighteenth birthday, in fact, when his existence was still, for the most part, a secret and every girl he’d interacted with thus far had fainted when they saw him, April included, though she was now a very dear friend of theirs. He was twenty-one now. He and his brothers were going to a human college on the surface, slowly but surely integrating themselves into human society.
Raph had been convinced, really truly convinced, that the words on his arm still didn’t mean anything, couldn’t mean anything. Until Leo met his soulmate, that was.
He remembered the frantic message to the group chat the brothers shared. Leo was at the library. The others were en route to study with him, but he’d gotten out of class before the others. Sure enough, he’d bumped into some quiet little bookworm in the library and said the words on her wrist, causing her to say exactly what was written on Leo’s in return.
That had been a few months before, right at the beginning of the school year. Leo was dating her now, obviously. Her name was Isabella and Raph thought she was…nice. It kinda made him sick how perfect she and Leo were together. Just reminded him how alone he was, but more than that, it stirred up the anxiety deep in the pit of his stomach, the constant reminder that he did have a soulmate and someday…they’d look him in the eye and say “Shit, I’m so sorry!”
Even if he did have a soulmate. Even if they did find him someday, what was the point? It seemed like they weren’t very happy to see him, whoever they were.
So Raph went about his life, trying to ignore the words on his wrist as best as he could, dreading the day when his soulmate would reject him, just as he knew they always would.
***
“Hey, (Y/N), you’re coming to the Halloween party this weekend, right? It’s at the Sigma House.” Your roommate said, sitting across from you at the library. Her name was Lindsay and she was a pretty blonde girl majoring in criminal justice. She was going to be a lawyer someday, ala Elle Woods and wanted to do her best to make the world a better place.
“I don’t know about that.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “You remember what happened at their homecoming party, right? I’m not much of a party girl, apparently…”
“Oh nonsense, you learned your lesson. You’re still just…learning your limits, is all. Gotta build up that tolerance somehow.”
You scoffed. “Yeah, from right beside the toilet maybe.”
“What, like lightning’s gonna strike twice? It’s Halloween! It’ll be fun! Plus, where else are you gonna wear your cute lil’ costume? It’s not like we can go trick or treating anymore.”
“Valid point.” You shrugged and chewed on the end of your straw. “Fine. I’ll go.”
“YESSSSS! I’m texting Isabella. She’s bringing Leonardo.”
“Ah yes, the elusive Leonardo.” You took a sip from your iced coffee. “Supposedly he has three brothers that all go here too, but I swear I haven’t seen any of them except him the, what, two times we’ve met him.”
“I think he’s nice.”
“I think he’s nice too, but you’d think it would be easier to spot them out and about.” You chuckled. “Oh never mind, I spoke too soon.”
“Where.” Lindsay turned around, catching a glimpse of the large, hulking turtle walking into the library, side by side with a slightly smaller turtle carrying a skateboard.
“Don’t look too fast, oh my god.”
“Ooh. He’s…”
“Hot.”
“I was gonna say ‘big’ but yeah, that works too.” Lindsay giggled. “Oh my god, (Y/N), I didn’t know you were into that. You know, I saw that Ice Planet Barbarians book at the B&N in the mall if you—”
“Shut up!” You hit her playfully with the book you had sitting on the table.
The large turtle in the red flannel caught your eye and smirked, giving a little half-wave. You waved back, cheeks fully flushed from your conversation with Lindsay.
“Oh my god he just waved at you. Oh my god!”
“Shut upppp!” You rolled your eyes, sliding down your seat.
***
The Sigma Halloween Bash finally arrived and you slipped into your costume, Raven from Teen Titans, right down to the cape you’d spent the better part of a day sewing yourself.
You looked over yourself in the mirror. You looked hot, you admitted, admiring yourself in the costume. It was no wonder she was everyone’s first cartoon crush.
“You ready?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.” You turned around to face Isabella, who was dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. “Aww, you look cute!”
“Thanks! It was Leo’s idea.”
“Speaking of whom…are the boys coming over here first or…?”
“They’re meeting us there. Lindsay told me you guys saw Raph, huh?”
“Oh yeah. Forgot about that.” Your cheeks reddened at the mere mention of his name. “Raph, huh?”
“Raphael. He’s…nice. I don’t think he likes me all that much, but Leo says he gets better once you get to know him.”
“One of those.” You nodded. “Good to know in case I run into him completely shitfaced. Try to make a good impression.”
“Good luck with that.” Isabella chuckled, ushering you downstairs so you and your other roommates would walk the few blocks to the party.
For Halloween, it was pretty warm outside with a nice breeze, costumed college kids marching down every sidewalk to find whatever party they were headed for. And, as usual, you were following the biggest stream of kids, straight into the Sigma house.
The music was deafening and the second you stepped inside, one of the drunk frat guys handed each of you a can of White Claw, which you grimaced at and handed to Lindsay, who took it with a smile. Instead, you set out in search of a Margarita, the one drink you knew you liked, thus far. Your search was successful. You poured yourself a glass of the sweet lime drink and found your roommates again.
“There she is!” Lindsay pulled you to her and spun you around as you sipped from your drink. “You find your Marg?”
“Always.”
“The boys are on the way.” Isabella reported, bobbing along to the music while reading from her phone. “Should be any—Oh, there they are! Leo!” She waded through the crowd, pushing her way to the giant turtle who was dressed in the Beast’s suit from Beauty and the Beast. That was cute.
Raph wandered into the kitchen and out of your sight, but not before you saw the large foam spikes taped to his shell. He was dressed as Bowser. That was really funny, actually.
The party continued and you had a second margarita. You were deciding on whether or not to grab a third and then decided to commit when you saw him still hanging around the kitchen.
So, tipsy as ever, you walked through the frat house to the kitchen and poured yourself yet another drink.
“Ayo Raven! You look good did you make that yourself?” asked the shortest of the turtles, although he still stood at least six feet tall.
“I did! Thank you so much! I loved the show as a kid.”
He grinned. “I did too. I’m Mikey, by the way. You’re Isabella’s roommate, right?”
“I am indeed. (Y/N).”
“Well, (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too!” You beamed, scanning the kitchen. Huh, not sight of Raphael. You wondered where he’d gone. You thought for a moment and second-guessed your third margarita for the night, decided to get a glass of ice water instead.
When you walked back out to the other room, you found him alright, stumbling right into him and spilling your water all over him.
“Shit, I’m so sorry!” You apologized, looking up at him. He stared back down at you, his eyes wide.
“It’s you? Yer…Wow, I just, uh…I…I didn’t think it would be you.” He stammered, reading through the words that had been etched onto your wrist since high school. You rolled up your sleeve, glancing down at them to be sure before looking back up at him, sobering up almost instantly.
“You’re my soulmate.” You whispered, starstruck in his presence.
“Let me get ya some more water, alright?” He offered, taking the empty solo cup from you, his giant hand gentler than you could have ever imagined it to be. “I’ll be right back.”
“O-Okay.” You nodded, still, for lack of better word, shell-shocked where you stood, the world crumbling around you until he finally came back with another cup of water.
He handed it to you and you were sure you were gonna drop that one, too, but you didn’t, miraculously, holding onto it for dear life. “You wanna get some air?”
“Yeah.” You nodded.
Tentatively, Raphael offered his hand to you in the crowded room. He didn’t expect you to take it. In no reality could he imagine this pretty girl dressed as a superhero to take his hand, but you did, slipping your hand into his and letting him lead you out into the backyard.
The sounds of the party faded away. There were a few people out on the deck making out, but the grass was wide open, the perfect spot to get away from all the noise in there.
You were both quiet for a while, your heart hammering in your chest as you sat down next to him. You took a long sip of water, chasing the edge of the margarita away.
“So uh…it’s okay if ya…uh…I shoulda practiced this.” He shook his head, letting out a pathetic chuckle. “I get it, I mean, if yer not…into me. I saw ya laughin’ at me at the library the other day.”
“Oh fuck, no I wasn’t I…kind of the opposite, actually.” You admitted, counting your blessings you had some liquid courage in your body for this conversation. “I’m Isabella’s roommate. Lindsay and I both are and I…I just kinda blurted out that you were hot and she…she was making fun of me, not you. I’d never make fun of you.”
“Wait, you…” He grinned, amused. “Yer not serious.”
“I am, I swear.” You laughed, pulling your cape around yourself. “I like your costume, by the way.”
“Heh. Yeah, thanks. Low effort costumes are kinda my forte.” He shrugged. “Mikey did the spikes for me. Was kinda hopin’ you’d show up dressed as Princess Peach, to be honest.”
“You still wanted me to be the Peach to your Bowser even when you thought I was making fun of you?” You asked, pouting up at him. “Raph…”
“I wouldn’t’a held it against ya even if you were.” He shrugged. “Hell, my own sister passed out the first time she met the four of us.”
“You have a sister?”
“Her name’s April. We ain’t blood, but we are family.” He smiled. “I’d like ta introduce her to ya someday. If ya want, of course. I’m…I ain’t ever done this before.”
“Well you’re doing great.”
“Ya don’t have to lie.” He nudged you playfully.
“I’m not.” You giggled, nudging him back. “You are doing great.”
“You still drunk?”
“Not much.”
“Mmm.”
“What?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Those margaritas might be clouding ya judgement, shorty.”
“They are not.” You giggled, reaching for his arm, which he gladly gave to you. You grabbed onto him, a little cold now that you’d been out there for a bit.
“If ya need me to warm ya up, I can’t. I’m cold-blooded.”
“Oh right. That’s okay.”
“Ya wanna go back inside?”
“No.” You shook your head. “I just wanna sit out here with you for a while.”
He smiled, withdrawing his arm and putting it around you instead. He rested his head against yours, letting out a long breath as you sat beneath the stars. “I like that plan.”
Tags: @thelaundrybitch, @turtle-babe83, @dilucsflame33, @happymoonangel, @leleouwu
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may0tuna · 7 months
Text
I hate you more! Part 3
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!reader
Word count: 737
Warnings: angst
Summary: Reader sabotages Rodrick’s chances with Heather. A classic enemies to lovers!
Author's note: I'm trying to be more consistent in writing, and I'm trying to "plan out" the chapters more? As you may have noticed (or not), I have also updated my masterlist for better reading experience I guess haha I have also started to be more detailed as I can when posting fanfics including warnings and proper tagging lol I'm still new to all of this but yeah :) This chapter's a bit short but I just wanted to get this out so I can start "planning" the next few chapters? lol yeah
Tags: @tomhockstetter7-111 @vihtoriacorrea @sleepyb1txh
Part 1, Part 2
"How do you read this again?" You asked Rodrick while pointing at the word "Sweaty" that's spelled out on a dog bowl.
"Uhh duh, it's sweetie!" Rodrick said confidently.
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This is the second day of your tutoring session with Rodrick, and a day before your big test. You had arrived at the Heffleys a bit early so you decided to hang out with Greg and Rowley in the living room when Greg told you about how Rodrick pronounces "Sweetie." You decided to put it to the test when Rodrick came in through the front doors, and you held up the dog bowl and asked him what it says.
You, Greg, and Rowley failed miserably at trying to hide your laughter. It was too much that even Rodrick got embarassed. What's worse is that he doesn't know why you guys were laughing. He taunted Greg, and you decided to step in.
"Alright, come on, Rodrick, time to study," as you pull him by the waistband on his shirt.
"Don't tell me what to do," Rodrick snapped at you as he eyed you pulling him by his shirt.
"Oh? I think in this case, I can," you snapped back at him.
"Is that so?"
"Yes, because if you don't," you paused for a while and smirked at him. "Oh Mrs. Heffleyyyy," you said in an almost sing-song voice.
"Fine fine, you're a snitch!" Rodrick sighed in defeat as he headed upstairs into his room.
"She's awesome!" Greg told Rowley but you didn't hear it because you were already walking up the stairs with Rodrick.
When you arrived at Rodrick's room, it was still as messy as the first time you had set foot in there.
"Geez, would it kill you to clean up in here?"
"Why clean my own room when my mom will do it for me when she gets tired of calling me out on not cleaning my room?" Rodrick said as if he had figured out all the answers to the world. You just rolled your eyes.
"Let's just get this over with."
"What's the rush?" He asked.
"None of your business," you replied. The truth is that you're planning to sneak out later because you heard that there was this party where college students go to at the far-end of town. You always thought that you were too mature for your age so you casually enjoy hanging out with older people. Truth is, you always thought people can see right through your "too cool to be here" attitude and you're worried that people would hate you for it. Maybe Rodrick was right when he said you were only pretending in order to fit in. Did he just figure out your whole double life, the one you tried oh so hard to hide?
The good news is that no one can really tell how old you were when at events like college parties, and you still have your own set of fake IDs from when you were dating your ex. Rodrick didn't ask anymore questions but you can tell that he was curious about it.
"Anyway, let me be frank, you suck at spelling and your grammar is shitty. If I am getting this $100 a week, you need to really mean it."
"Why should I? You're the one getting paid, and if I recall correctly, you lied to me!"
"About what?"
"About Heather!"
"Please, you never had a chance with her!"
Rodrick became silent. His expression pained. You apologized and decided to reach your hand out to him, with the intention of giving him a light tap on the shoulder, but he dismissed it.
"Yeah okay," Rodrick's voice was low and soft. "Whatever," he said after some pause.
He was sitting on the bed and you were facing him, books and notes sprawled out in front of you two. Recently, you've noticed that there's this gnawing feeling whenever you see this side of him, like you want to take care of him. Then again, there is that other side that makes you want to punch him in the face.
"Rodrick," you said softly.
"What?" You detected a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"What if I split the $100? You get $40, I get $60, as long as you take this seriously. And if you take this seriously, we can end today's session a bit early," that last one was for your own benefit.
"Deal."
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Please Fix the Story- Side Part - Adonis
My first side part of two. Will plan for a second one for Liam. Hope you guys enjoy seeing it from a "hero's" perspective!
Enjoy!
Masterpost linked here!
____________________________
 I am the hero.
I believed this with every part of my being. Every cell and every atom within me screamed for me to step into the spotlight that was rightfully mine. The center stage that everyone longed for but so few could touch.
I grew up in obscurity. A father in a dead-end job whose lack of drive and ambition led our family to live paycheck to paycheck. Coming home just to drink and complain about work. I also had two older brothers who finished high school and went straight to work in the shop like our old man, with little regard for the world beyond our small town. But my mother… my mother was like me. She was a dreamer.
During my childhood she would read to me every night before bed. Classics, sci-fi, adventure stories… any book my mother could get her hands on. We explored world after world from the safety of my room as she read to me, equal parts excitement and longing shining in her eyes as she described faraway places and people that she would never get to see.
But her favorite story, the one we read most often, was a classic. A story of a brave knight, a hero. A story of a beautiful princess. A story of an evil dragon. I would listen with childish wonder as she described the princess being kidnapped and guarded in a tower, the knight and the dragon’s harrowing battle, and the happily ever after that awaited the hero and the princess.
“All stories should be like this one.” She told me confidently. “It is the best story in the world.”
She would point to pictures of the knight in the story book, a man in metal armor with a brightly shining sword. “When you grow up, you are going to be a great hero, a great man like him!”
I looked up at her, confused. “What about dad? Isn’t he great? Shouldn’t I grow up to be like him?”
At my question, her eyes were filled with sorrow and rage. “Don’t you EVER end up being like your dad. He’s a nobody.” She pointed at the book. “There’s no pictures of men like your dad in here, because they’re not important enough to get pictures. They don’t defeat the dragon, they don’t marry the princess, and they don’t have happy endings.”
“But Dad married you, and you are better than any princess!”
“…” She just stared silently at me for a moment. “Promise me you won’t become like your father. PROMISE.”
“… I promise.” I looked down at the knight in shining armor again, feeling determined.
I am the hero.
____________________________
My mother left us shortly after. Quietly walked out with her bags while we were all sleeping. My father didn’t say much to us about it. Just worked harder at his dead-end job and drank more when he was home. I watched it all, and knew without a doubt: My father was unhappy because he wasn’t the hero my mother wanted him to be. But I was different than him.
I worked hard, studied harder. Got into college on a scholarship. I was studying finance, determined to get into a career that would make a lot of money. To be different from my father. Packed away with all of my textbooks and papers, however, I still carried around my mother’s favorite book, the only memento I had of her, the only thing she had left behind for me to keep.
And that’s how I met Arabella.
My fairy tale book slipped out of my bag one day as I sat on bench trying to find a specific paper. I bent over and reached out to pick it up, but she got there before me.
“I love this book! Such a classic!” She smiled at me as she handed it over.
I fell in love with her smile.
We talked at length about books and stories. She was an English major, a lover of writing in all its forms. After that fateful day we spent many hours together. Talking, laughing, trading ideas. I fell deeper and deeper in love with her, fantasizing about confessing my feelings, and having her reciprocate. We would get married, have children, become successful, important people. Different from my father and mother.
She was my princess, my happy ending.
… Until she wasn’t.
“This is my boyfriend, Ben.” She introduced him with a different smile. I had thought I had seen all of her smiles, but it turns out that her most beautiful one, the one filled with love, was saved for someone else.
I hated him.
Hated how he seemed to shine in every space he was in. Hated that he was always the center of attention. He was a natural born leader, a great conversationalist, an all-around good guy that everyone liked. I hated everything about him, but most of all I hated the fact that he stole the love of my life from me. My darling Arabella.
She was mine.
But when I finally worked up my courage to tell her my feelings, instead of a smile filled with love, I got a look of pity and concern. She didn’t feel the same. She hoped we could still be friends.
I was humiliated. I thought I was the hero of her story, but I was just a nobody, a friend, an extra on the sidelines.
I was just like my father.
I hated my father, hated myself for being like him. But slowly, inevitably, my hatred took a new turn.
Arabella. Why did she not love me? Why was she ignoring our obvious connection? Why did she look at me with pity when I was so much better than that loser she was dating?
I hated her too. If she had never been there, I would have never felt so weak and helpless. I felt trapped in the sidelines, and couldn’t see a way to escape this fate of being nothing, of fading into obscurity. I had to do something. I refused to disappear into nothingness.
I am the hero.
So I fixed the problem.
And as I stood over the bodies of Arabella and Ben, my hand still holding the blood-stained knife, watching the blood pooling under them, rolling slowly towards my shoes. I realized the truth behind my world:
I was special.
The world froze. An inhuman being, the System, offered me a chance to work with it, to save the universe.
It was everything I wanted and more. Power. Prestige. A mission. I would be the main character, the knight I read about. I would be the hero.
It warned me that if I left with it, this world would be destroyed. I looked around. Now that I knew that this world was a lower realm, a romance story that I was a side character in, it all seemed so… small. Worthless. This world had done nothing but contain me, and I deserved to escape it.
I felt a brief flash of conscience. If I said yes, everyone I knew would be destroyed. My father. My brothers. My friends in college.
My mother.
Arabella.
But what have they ever done for me? I looked at the two options in front of me, and selected “Yes” with a firm hand.
And in that instant, they were gone.
And I was free.
____________________________
The System and I came up with a plan to save the universe. We tied all the heroes to me, to help me improve their character, in bonds called Fate.
But it wasn’t enough.
So we got a dragon, an evil creature who could be a good prototype for the villains in the lower realms. My nemesis to fight. But this failed too. The dragon was weak. For all its anger and desperation in the beginning, it soon became like a soulless, lifeless puppet. Silently completing its mission in each lower realm, often dying so quickly that I barely had time to influence the hero’s story. Punishments, threats… nothing worked. The nameless villain just looked at me with eyes that seemed like they belonged to something dead.
“You cannot threaten me.” It whispered. “You have already destroyed everything I love. My family is gone. I am alone.”
I felt a brief moment of panic at his words, but pushed it down and walked away. Refusing to dwell on the thought that rose up at his words:
We were similar. We both lost everyone. We were both alone. But we were so different… I lost mine by choice.
It didn’t matter. I did what I had to do.
I am the hero.
____________________________
We were getting nowhere. We needed something more, before the universe became too unstable, and all of the lower realms collapsed.
We needed a heroine. My princess.
There was only one option. One woman that I would accept. The love of my life, the heroine of my story,
Arabella.
I knew the System could do it. It was the god of this universe, filled with strange, unnatural abilities. It could bring her back, erase what I had done.
It had to.
After much arguing, the System agreed to “create” an Arabella.
I met her in the higher realm, the System had dressed her in gorgeous clothes, just like the princess she was meant to be.
I looked at her, and she was just as beautiful as I remembered. And she was mine.
But then everything went wrong.
She looked like Arabella. And sometimes had similarities to Arabella, such as a love for stories. But she was also so very different.
“Call me Bel.” She asked me one day, her eyes filled with frustration.
“But you ARE Arabella.” I felt desperate to explain.
She shook her head. “It doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to be called that. You mean something different than me when you use that name, and it makes me uncomfortable.”
What could I say. How could I explain? I bit my tongue and agreed.
It was so frustrating. Having my Arabella so close, yet so far away of me. She learned about our world quickly, and displayed an astonishing talent for fixing the lower realms in a variety of ways, but never once in the way that I wanted, the true and better way.
I tried to tell her about the higher story. About fate. The princess and the hero needed to fall in love. Our happiness, our love would stabilize all of the lower realms. Save the universe.
But Bel after listening to me, gave me a look. A look I knew all too well. It was the same look Arabella gave me in my original world.
A look of rejection.
I had become a higher being. Becoming the hero that would define all heroes. Much more than the silly hero my mother showed me in a worn-out story book. But still my princess refused me. She would leave me, just like my mother left my father for being a nobody. An extra. A background character.
I refused to let that happen.
I am the hero.
____________________________
I continued the story. She would be “kidnapped” by the dragon. I would rescue her, we would fall in love, and the dragon would be defeated. All would be right.
But she refused. She decided to die rather than be rescued. And then the System made her a deal.
I watched her disappear. I watched the foolish dragon make a bad deal to follow her. And as they faded from the realm, I panicked.
They had left me behind, the hero, the main character. I had to stop Bel from succeeding, from changing her fate to join the villains. She would accept her fate. She would be my heroine again.
The System, for the first time, fought me. I wanted my memories, control over some of the story, power. It argued that I would only push her further away. I refused to compromise.
Finally, the System agreed, but would only send me to a few worlds.
“She’s already visited twelve worlds.” It stated in a dispassionate voice.
I was in shock. “It’s only been a few minutes!”
“Time moves differently in the Void.”
“SEND ME!”
____________________________
A zombie world. I was the hero, Eric, already in a relationship with a cheerful girl named Hannah. She was a lovely heroine, but utterly helpless. As she stared up at me with love and respect in her gaze, I should have felt happy, content. She treated me as the hero I was, as the center of her universe.
I didn’t care.
She wasn’t Arabella… Bel. She was just a small little character of a broken lower realm. I didn’t need such a worthless being’s love.
I needed HER.
I turned my attention to Jason, Eric’s friend.  A pathetic secondary lead. I despised him, watching his struggles with disdain. Jason was a disgusting worm, following the heroine around like a lost puppy. Oblivious to the fact that she only loved the hero. He was a nobody, an extra.
He reminded me of my father.
I hid his role in Bel’s character’s death. Filled his head with thoughts of violence, planning on using him at just the right moment.
And when Bel showed up, I put myself forward as the perfect hero. Reasonable, friendly, respectful of boundaries. After all the time I spent fixing lower realms with her, I knew what she would like best. The only downside is that I had to play my role, to pretend to love Hannah. I felt the bonds of fate. Anytime I tried to break away from them, the System’s power would correct me. But I still tried my best, hoping that Bel would see beyond the characters we played, see the true me.
But instead, she paid me little to no attention. Only focusing on Hannah, or on the pathetic bastard of a villain who trailed behind her. He was as weak and useless as always, his character supposed to be the leader of a violent gang. Instead, he cooked meals and brewed tea, calling himself a support spouse.
I wanted to kill him.
But I couldn’t. I needed to be a perfect hero. Otherwise, my princess would never love me.
In the end, I failed. The dragon died, but Bel still didn’t look my way. She completed her mission and left the world without a goodbye.
Heartless as always.
____________________________
The System agreed to send me to a second world. A vampire realm. I played her brother Alexander. 
The realm was a disaster. I tried to be perfect, tried to be reasonable and helpful. But I had pushed too far from the character’s role. The System forcefully corrected me, treating me like a puppet over and over, acting like a foolish teenager in love rather than a confident immortal being. I watched in silent rage as the dragon married my princess with a smirk, calling me brother-in-law. I could do nothing but seethe, trapped in this cage of a character, unable to do anything but watched as she saved the realm again.
In the end, it felt so good to kill him. I watched the dragon die under my hands with a smile. And if Bel reacted poorly… well she just didn’t understand my point of view. She didn’t remember our destiny together. She didn’t remember that the dragon was a monster, a villain.
I just had to convince her.
____________________________
“YOU FAILED.” The system told me in the void. It had no emotions, no humanity, but even so I felt that there was a note of panic within its voice.
“You wouldn’t let me do anything!” I argued back. “Give me more freedom, and I promise I will convince her of our point of view.”
“WHAT IF SHE REFUSES?”
“Then I will make sure she fails her mission. Either way, we win, correct?”
“…” The System was silent for a few moments. “YOU HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE. SHE HAS NO MEMORY IN THIS REALM. SHE MUST FAIL. ”
I laughed. “She will.”
I did everything I could. Desperate, this time I resorted to all means: kidnapping, drugging her, lying to her. I betrayed the whole world to the alien race, trying to force her mission to fail.
But she still won. She still refused me, even when her mind and body were falling apart.
And with her power, she restarted our story in the higher realm. She chose the dragon again. She chose to reject fate. And at the end of it I realized her plan was never just to simply join the villain. She became the new System. She became a god.
____________________________
She looked at me, filled with a power I would never know. Standing next to the love of her life that wasn’t me. And I couldn’t help but wonder:
Had I really been so wrong?
“I have a much better ‘fate’ in store for you:” She told me. Smiling a smile I had never seen before. Different from any I had ever seen before A cruel smile. And I truly believed in the depths of my soul, that she was not, she never had been Arabella. The girl I thought I loved, died on the ground after I stabbed her in the heart. Not even her body was left behind as I destroyed the world behind me.
I am the hero.
“You will be banished to a lower realm. To live out your days as an insignificant side character.”
Her power lifted me off the ground, healing the wound in my side. I was helpless against it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be! I was the knight! The hero! I would defeat the dragon, save the princess. I would live happily ever after!
“NO! YOU CAN’T!!!”
I am the hero.
“By day, you will remember nothing… but every night, your memories of the higher realms will be returned to you, just enough so you can always live in regret for what you have done.”
“NO!” I struggled against her powers, but there was nothing I could do. I stared into her eyes. So familiar, but foreign. And filled with nothing but weary disdain. I knew that look, knew it all too well. It was the look sealed into my heart, in the depths of my worst nightmares.
It was the look my mother gave my father the night she left. That look couldn’t be for me. It was for nobodies. For extras. For people of no importance. Not for me. Never for me.
I am the hero.
“You must accept your fate, Adonis. Goodbye.”
____________________________
“Heading home, Adler?”
Craig, the middle-aged man in the cubicle next to mine, spoke up as I stood up at my desk.  His space was decorated with miscellaneous motivational signs and pictures of his smiling family. He hid a space heater under his desk, but everyone liked him too much to report it to the manager.
“Yeah, shouldn’t you be done for the day too?” I responded blandly, putting on my coat and walking away. I didn’t really want to get drawn in to a long conversation, which Craig was well known for. From a distance I saw a man and a woman talking, and felt a tightening in my chest. I didn’t want to talk to them, but I couldn’t resist saying hi to her.
“Hi Anne.” I joined the conversation between the two, ignoring the flicker of frustration that crossed her expression. Hopefully she’s just tired. “… Hi Brad.” I added after a long hesitation.
They both greeted me, and fell into an awkward silence. I knew they wanted me to leave, but a strange stubbornness kept my feet rooted in place. “Have you heard about that new movie about knights and dragons that’s coming out soon?”
Anne still seemed annoyed, but showed a brief look of interest at my question. “Oh yeah! I’ve been wanting to go see that one!”
Then would you like to go with me? I bit the words back before they could slip out. It would not go over well, especially with Brad, Anne’s boyfriend standing next to me. Instead, I said something I didn’t mean. “Maybe we could all go see it as a group?”
“Maybe.” Her response was noncommittal.
“…”
“…”
After the silence stretched on too long, I finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Well, have a good night.”
They both waved silently at me, and returned to their conversation with one another, never sparing another glance my way.
I walked away, feeling uncomfortable.
My apartment was empty. I had considered pets, but it would be too much extra cost to the monthly lease. I turned on the light, set down my coat, and looked around with a sigh. The room was pretty bare. I had a few sparse decorations, but couldn’t be bothered to do more. All I needed was a few pieces of furniture, and multiple shelves of books.  I made myself a quick microwave dinner, and since I had finished my latest book last night, went searching through the bookshelves for what I wanted to read next.
My hand paused over a well-worn book. It was a classic story, about knights and princesses and dragons. Basic, childish almost, but I always felt drawn to it. I picked it up once more, and settled down to read.
Passing a quiet evening, I got ready to sleep. I stared up at the ceiling above my bed, a strange emptiness within me.
I wonder what Anne is doing now?
A sigh escaped me. I knew she didn’t return my feelings. She didn’t even like me as a friend.
I’m just not the guy for her. And I need to be content with that.
After all, it's not like I'm the hero of a fairy tale.
With that last melancholy thought, I fell asleep, my hands still clutching the book of fairy tales.
And I remembered.
I remembered everything.
I was the higher-level being Adonis. Hero of the universe. Cast aside by Bel. Banished to a lower realm.
And now I was powerless.
Helpless.
Nothing.
THIS ISN’T RIGHT!!! THIS ISN’T ME!!! I AM SPECIAL. I AM MEANT FOR GREATNESS!
I AM THE HERO!
I woke up, shaking in terror and agony. My trembling hands clutched my sweat soaked face. And in the dull light of the sunrise streaming through the window into my bare and empty apartment…. I screamed.
I tried to hold onto my memories, but I could already feel them fading away. I would once again become Adler, the pencil pushing nobody who read fantasy books and nursed a silent crush on a woman at work who already had a boyfriend.
Until night came again. And I remembered once more.
This was my punishment.
This was my hell.
My only solace was that in this lower realm I was mortal. I would grow old. I would eventually die. And I would be free from this wretched existence.
My memories grew foggy, confused.
I thought of my mother, of my promise to her to be the hero of her story book. I thought of Arabella, of her bright smile that I fell in love with. I thought of Bel, our adventures, and her triumph over fate.
And I hated them all.
“NOOOOOO!” My anguished cry tore through the apartment, but there was no one around to hear it.
“I AM THE HERO!!! THEY ARE NOTHING!” I tried to scramble out of the bed, desperate to run away, to escape.
“I AM THE HERO!!!” I fell to my knees, my thoughts becoming vague.
“I AM… THE… HERO!” I desperately held onto the word. I knew it was important.
“I…. AM….”
I blinked, feeling confused.
“What was I saying?”  Wiping my forehead, I grimaced as it came away with a cold sweat. “Must have had a nightmare.”
I stood up, heading to the bathroom to shower. I had a long day of work ahead of me. I had several reports due soon, and maybe… just maybe… I could catch a glimpse of Anne when I passed by on my lunch break.
As I walked towards the shower, I caught sight of my face in the mirror, and came to a stop. As I stood there, staring into my own eyes, I felt the strangest urge to scream.
But it quickly passed and I went back to getting ready for my day.
“Hopefully tonight I sleep better.” I muttered to myself, looking away and closing the door behind me.
I didn’t want to be late to work.
60 notes · View notes
canaidliafail · 11 months
Text
stay grounded pt.3
streamer abby x streamer reader 🌿
[ part 1 ] [ part 2 ] [part 4]
MDI. Things get spicy here <3
not proof read // will check for mistakes later tonight <33
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Your favorite class aside from sewing, was without a doubt art classes. First two hours you did still nature with charcoals or pencils and the other two you would draw modeling figures and practice on how you could translate the fabric type you intended on using in your sketch.
You were good at drawing. It came naturally to you and your teachers questioned how did you end up in fashion design and not art college. You were his favorite.
But it had been a week since you saw a sign from Abby and everything was going to hell. Last post she made was a photo of her with Nora in cosplay which only accelerated your spiral. To be fair you hadn’t initiated contact either but that was neither here nor there
“Did you not have time to draw these days ? Your strokes are very messy…” Your teacher said hovering behind you and studying your piece. You would have screamed actually and then cried and then you decided then you would bomb the city
You gave him a curt smile “I had a rough week at work” He sighed in understanding and patted your shoulder “Ah so young and already having to balance all this. I understand its hard. You can take it easy today then” he said and half an hour later came back to give your sketch an empathetic look that looked like constipation.
At the end of the day you rolled up the papers with your pitiful sketches and shoved them in your bag crinkling the edges. You felt stupid for letting someone on the other end of the world affect your life that much. Hell it's been barely a month that she noticed you ( you refused to account for all the other times you tried to get her attention by sending bits or commenting on her chat a year ago and the occasional like left on a post that made it her -for you page- )
You were at the cafe across from your college building sitting on the bar counter in front of the large glass doors sipping on the overpriced cappuccino and biting the rim of your reusable cup.
She got me a ridiculously overpriced statue. That has to amount to something, no?
Then again she did mention to her it wasn’t that different from getting me a cup of coffee…
Your mind went in circles. Did Onlyfans pay her so well that she could mindlessly toss her money left and right? It wouldn’t be such a bizarre concept to be fair. She was after all at the peak of her career with girls begging to see so much as a collar bone. You nibbled on your lower lip fighting the temptation to see her page.
Did she post gym pics ? Did she post more than that?
You went to her page and tapped under her point at the link leading you to another site with all her links. At the very top, sat a square with the short description of
“18+”
You looked around you and tapped the button and waited for the page to load. Your cheeks flushed. Her banner cropped nicely above her collar bones and below her chest where she showed her arms that were the sole focus of the image.
Her profile photo was a dreadfully common gym pic taken on the dirty mirror near the treadmill section. So effortless yet straight to the point of who she was. She knew what her followers wanted, you included. The illusion that she was just your next door neighbour and this your private chat that turned raunchy at night. You hesitated around the subscribe button.
Crossing that line came at the average cost of 20.99 per month. You pulled out your credit card and went to make an undercover account and subscribe to her profile. Hell there was probably no chance of this ever going anywhere so there was no harm in you indulging in a little more and having something to look forward to after class, right? Right.
You took another sip of your coffee deluding yourself that this didn't cause your heartbeat to spike an unhealthy amount and blamed the shakiness of your hands to your drink
Subscribed for 1 month
Came the message and there was an automated response from her account in the mailbox.
I knew I’d find you here ;)
This cocky motherfucker. You clenched your cup and started scrolling your eyes widening in surprise. There were some posts behind a fat paywall starting at 50 euros going up to 100. You occasionally shrugged one shoulder at the more casual posts and then stopped at one particular image of her with a towel low on her hips, topless with the foggy mirror perfectly censoring your chest. You took a screenshot and decided to go light a candle at the local church next Sunday.
The next photo that stopped you and made you forget that breathing was a necessity was one where she was at the beach with grey cargo pants and a tight white top,sleeveless with a wide cut on her front. The white top ,most importantly, hugged her figure not because of an elastic fabric but because it was wet.
You had never seen more beautiful and well shaped tits. You hated how well it all came together and you hated that the wet top did nothing to hide her pierced perky nipples. Of course there were 389 comments below that pic all thirsty and all equally delighted at this new found discovery that Abby had piercings.
You shook your head and exited her page crestfallen and horny. What a powerful combination. Why did you ever even consider having a chance? You were no different from all the other fans flocking to her page and your reaction to those pics were no different than a mans. You crossed your arms and buried your head in the small dip between your body and hands, fighting back tears and thoughts. Reasonably you knew that Abby did not mind how her followers viewed her as you found her often responding to those comments with her very own bold and flirtatious way. You knew that and yet it was hard to undo years of shame for your nature and Abbys sudden radio silence didn't help
_____________
It was ready. You had never worked with so many materials for something so big before but you were proud to say that the knight armor you crafted was stunning and it was a perfect fit on you. With the release of a new game you Wanted to for once be on time with a costume to wear and take some photos. Besides, it was the least you could’ve done with the company giving you early access to the beta of the game a year ago and now sending you the collector's edition free of charge. You snapped a few pics in your bedroom which in itself was fitting of the whole romantic knight fairytale theme. You tried to film a few videos and tried to post on every platform you had and once you were done with that you tossed your phone aside and went to prepare the house for the weekly sleepover that you and your friend group had
Cassie: Hey babe sorry I’m late,Just go in the bus <333
Rick: Do we have the stuff ? Should I bring mine?
You checked a box near your makeup station and opened to see how much you had left. Definitely enough for 2 cigarettes
No need. I got it
June: Open the door shitface I've been buzzing for 10 minutes
Stay there and freeze to death
Came your response and lowered the volume of your music to realize that Indeed June was here. You leaped to your door and buzzed her in leaving the door open to go take off the armor. You tried not to get impatient and ruin it in the process of taking off every garment. The door slid open wider and then shut closed. June was huffing in pain and rested her hand in front of your bedroom watching you change in spite and anger.
“You hate us all and that's why you live in a place without an elevator”
“Nice to see you too” you said with a smile and she hopped over to your side to give you a quick and tight hug
“How are you doing?”
“Shitty but what's new. Someone has to entertain the group chat with their misery” June laughed and walked out of your room to the living room and plopped down on the couch tossing her bag on the floor and grabbing your controller to change the music and connect to her account. She let phone music fill the halls and got up again waiting for you to finish changing.
You quickly threw on a baggy pair of sweatpants and a crop top and walked out with her “So should we order coffee or a drink?”
“Way ahead of you, Cassie got us our usual already and she told me she is almost here”
Few minutes later the buzzer went off and in came Rick “That’s it. I’m giving up on love. She hates me. She absolutely hates me” Behind her Cassie followed with a cardboard containing all of your coffees yelling at her from the staircase all the way to your apartment
“Will you stop it?! She literally told you to meet tomorrow! TOMORROW!”
“Yes but her tone-“
“Her tone was neutral” Rick huffed out upset and went to sit in the living room
“I take it you have updates for us with your infinite crush?” Rick sulked and grabbed her phone to start reading out loud her latest conversation while occasionally laughing at her own jokes.These get-togethers started by happening once every two months to now happening almost every day as your friend group grew close and it always helped you feel lighter and more chipper. Your phone went off with a notification and you nearly screamed.
Staygrounded69: hey
“SHE texted me. Wow I really thought I was about to get ghosted for good”
Everyone snapped their head at you
“What are you waiting for then ? Answer!!” Cassie urged you on with an excited smile. You shot up and went to your kitchen needing to be away from the others as not to embarrass yourself any further
Whats up
You free to hang out for a game?
You hit your head on the table and groaned out loud. Your friends expressed a mess of concerned sentences all asking you in their own way what happened.
“SHe wants to call and play a game”
“GO FOR ITTTTT GO GET SUM GIRL” June screamed and you shook your head
“No I won't cave in that easy”
In the distance you heard Cassie tease “Sure that you won’t do, but having her Onlyfans pic as your lock screen is not above you” and you would have given her a jab on the ribs but decided against it and went type a response
I’m not alone.
Oh?
I have company tonight but we can still chat or something?
Unless you only wanted to play a game then we can hangout tomorrow…
It was embarrassing how desperate for her attention you were. She used at best 3 syllables and here you were meeting the word limit in a school essay. You saw the three dots appear and disappear as Abby considered her response. You leaned back on the stool and checked your nails,pressing at the skin around them mindlessly.
Works for me, how was your week?
She asked and you felt your heart beat loud in your chest and cold sweat run over you. You could not entirely grasp why her giving you the attention that you craved so badly made you so nauseous and so anxious but you brushed it off to you simply having a crush that intense
It was something. Classes were ridiculously slow
Right. You’re still in college ?
Last year but yeah..I study fashion design.You aren’t?
Oh no I still am. Which is why I still vanish. Classes are A true pain in the ass
You smiled,warmth spreading all over your body. You were pacing in the kitchen while exchanging back and forth meaningless info about your day and your general life. You were surprised to know she was the same age as you but that was about as many similarities as the two of you had but that did nothing to falter either interest in the conversation.
Oh Alice just came.
Give her a pat from me <3
And in came a photo. You opened it without hesitation and were quick to keep your finger pressed on the image processing what was in front of you. Alice was comfortably seated between Abbys thighs and her head was snuggly pressed on her leg looking up at the camera. Now whether Alice was in the image or not it didn't matter cause your eyes were stuck on the fact that Abby was only in a black pair of boxer briefs and she did nothing to divert the camera lens away from that fact.
Her arm was starched out patting Alice’s head, her veiny hand on display. You fixated on those long calloused fingers and you almost moaned just at the thought of what they could do.You hated that you couldn’t take a screenshot and cursed igs safety feature of showing the other party when someone did that. You exited the image and tried to think of an answer.
Damn. She is almost in frame
Don't blame me for your wandering eyes babe
You smacked your head on the table with a loud thud and it rumbled in protest,
“You alive cotton?!” Rick called out and the rest chuckled. You checked the time and noticed you had been talking with her for a good two hours at this point and despite wanting to continue the conversation you had to join your friends at some point
“Yeah gimme a few”
Shit You almost made me blush
Almost? Damn. Better luck next time
She said and you let out an awkward half laugh half sigh not believing what you were reading and how well this had gone. You bounced your leg in distress. You were beyond aroused by this attitude. Be it the photos, or her attempting to make a pass at you, you could feel the inevitable burn and ache in your core. You let out a scream and heard a glass fall and rick cough
“The hell?!”
“What happened?!”
“I’m gonna kick you for that what the fuck”
Came their voices in startled unison
Well Ill have to leave you high and dry. My friends are calling me
Go have fun. Talk to you tomorrow ?
Sure :)
They ran into the kitchen expectant and you let out a mumbled
“She said talk to you tomorrow”
You were sure you had lost 89% of your hearing capabilities from their cheerful screams.
____________
At precisely 4 am you decided to give up on sleep and left the living room trying to step around the bodies sleeping on the floor amongst the pillows and blankets going to your bedroom for some privacy. The ache was persistent and you had to do something about it. You locked the door and unlocked your phone going straight to Abbys Onlyfans. There was a message there
A video behind a paywall. A paywall of 250 euros with the caption “was thinking of you” and right below the video was a separate message
You closed your eyes the minute your fingers slipped and purchased the video. A video unlike anything else on her profile where she wore a sleeveless baggy t-shirt and the same boxer briefs you saw on that photo she sent you earlier that evening. She was sitting on her gaming chair with her legs spread and the camera was placed on the bottom cropping her face out. You watched as her fingers teased the waistband and in came her voice
Were you thinking of me?
It was lower, suggestive unlike how she usually talked. You pressed your thighs and pushed your back against the bedframe falling deeper between the pillows. Your hand laid comfortably on top of your tummy an inch away from the elastic band of your sweatpants. You circled the area hesitating to delve deeper but when you saw Abby initiate the notion by slipping her hand beneath her underwear you did the same, your body having a mind of its own.
Are you touching yourself for me baby?
She asked and you almost let out a breathless quiet “yes” but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. You mirrored her circular slow movements and hated how painfully slow she went about it and as if she knew exactly what you thought she added
Are you getting impatient ?
You bit your lip trying to hold back a moan. Her voice reeked of sex and the eroticism of her moves drove you insane. Your head was spinning and when you dared to outpace her you heard a very low breathless sigh come from the video and echo in your head. The video ended there and your eyes shot wide open in disbelief. You checked the time. It was a 3 minute video.
Fuck
You thought and closed the tab leading back to the chat on onlyfans. A new message was there
-Enjoyed it cotton?-
Fucking fuck
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Imagine Riri finding you her roommate is an ex-Avenger
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You were a last minute type of person when it came studying for exams. Which meant pulling all nighters the day before the test was frequent for you, and afterwards you would catch on all your sleep. Once your classes were over able to sleep with peace knowing you aced the test. So once you were sleep you were truly dead to the world, and anything happening.
Your roommate Riri Williams already knew this but still did her best to not disturb you. When she entered the shared dorm room quietly dropping her backpack on the floor by her workstation. She could make out your form bundled under two blankets and a duvet. The thermostat was set on cool making the room pretty chilly, and while she was tempted to change it. She knew going to bed cold only to wake up hot later was one of your pet peeves, and didn't want to do that to you. Instead she was getting ready to raid her closet for a hoodie when someone knocked on the door.
"Riri Williams" an unfamiliar voice called out.
Riri assumed it was a fellow classmate who wanted her to take care of an assignment for them. She let out a sigh of exasperation checking her phone for any new alerts. Before heading over to open the door she had built a whole website to handle future requests, and so far only a few of her clients actually used it. "Hey I don't take house calls anymore you gotta use the website" she told the mystery person.
The stranger placed their phone over her own in her direct line of vision. "I have a encrypted file I want you to air drop it."
Riri looked up mouth open to reply but her words were lost on her tongue. When her eyes landed on the Princess of Wakanda as they widened in surprise. It took her a few seconds but she did regain the ability to speak. "You're Princess Shuri" she whispered moving back to let her in.
Shuri put a finger to her mouth walking into the room, and motioned for her to close the door. Riri shut the door in confusion trying to figure out what could the Princess of Wakanda want with her? Was she even here for her, or was it you she was looking for? While you and Riri got along pretty well and ended up becoming great friends. She didn't know that much about you or your past life. You kind of just showed up out of nowhere starting the semester a little late. Apparently you received your acceptance later for MIT months before graduation, and but you didn't decide to attend college until the last minute. Which is why you were shoved into her dorm at the last minute initially Riri was supposed to have her dorm to herself. But your last minute decision left the front office scrambling trying to find somewhere to put you.
"Um am I being recruited?" Riri finally asked with a hopeful tone.
Shuri paused to turn around giving her a dead look. "No" she answered without hesitation. "I'm here about the vibranium detector you built for the CIA."
Riri raised her eyebrows even more confused than before. "I didn't build that for the CIA that was a class project."
"A class project" Shuri repeated in disbelief.
"Yeah my professor said I would never be able to do it but to be young, gifted, and black though right." She replied not hiding the pride she was feeling as she walked around the Princess to get to her bed.
"How long did it take you?" The Princess asked looking over her workstation.
"A couple of months it took me a while to gather some of the parts" Riri started to explain. But she halted her explanation as paranoia took over. "Hold on did I piss off Wakanda?" she asked standing back up.
"Not just us this place is no longer safe for you I need you to pack your things, and come with me right now" Shuri demanded.
"Aye I have differential equations class in like fifteen minutes" Riri protested with a nervous chuckle. But then saw the are you serious look on Shuri's face, and looked away in shame. On the inside she was freaking out and wanted nothing more than to bolt out of the room. The only problem with that plan though was Shuri stood between her and the exit. So she had to stay calm and figure out another way out.
"Alright yeah um just let me go to bathroom real quick." Riri said not sounding convinced at all as she inched around the Princess who watched as she headed for the bathroom. She made halfway through the door before cursing and retreating back into the corner of the room by the windows.
Okoye walked out the bathroom with her hands folded behind her back.
"I had it under control" Shuri insisted slightly irritated.
"I said you had five minutes I gave you six" Okoye replied.
Riri watched in fear as both of them advanced on her. Shuri held a hand out as if to tell her to keep calm, but Okoye didn't look like she was playing any games.
"Get out" Riri argued. "Get out of my dorm"
"Just calm down" Shuri pleaded
Riri looked around for something to defend herself with and settled for the speaker on the desk. She snatched it up and held it in her arms ready to throw it. "I swear you better not take another step towards me."
"Mmph see how the children here treat their guests" Okoye said to Shuri in a tone of disappointment. Riri took the opportunity to heave the speaker towards them. Okoye whipped her hand out and a small metal rod extended into a full spear slicing the speaker in half.
Shuri and Riri mouths dropped open in shock at the action.
"You brought a spear in here" both of them exclaimed at the same time.
That was when you let out a soft groan while shifting around in your bed. Riri's eyes lit up with joy during all the commotion she had forgotten about you. Okoye and Shuri turned around looking in your direction, but didn't see you immediately hidden under the pile of covers.
"Y/N wake your ass up now" Riri shouted in desperation. You were her last hope there was no way they could force her to go with them with a witness.
Your eyes flew open and somehow you picked on the tone of distress in her voice. As you sat right up doing your best to untangle yourself from the blankets. Your eyes were still adjusting to the light so you could barely make out two grown figures standing a few feet away. You ended up rolling right of bed and hitting the floor in your haste to get up. But you were back on your feet immediately. "Hey what the hell is going on? Leave her alone" you demanded groggily.
This wasn't the first time Riri found herself in a bit of a pickle. There had been a few mishaps early on in the year when some guys decided they wanted to use her services for free. When she said no they would turn up to her door trying to use cheap scare tactics, or just threaten her. But instead they would run into you who had no problem putting them in their place. You assumed that was what was going on here until you finally came to fully.
"Is this your roommate" Shuri asked Riri turning to her with a grin.
"Yeah and she knows a bunch of karate and stuff, so you guys better just go alright. I'm not going back to Wakanda with y'all" she said. Although the way both of them were unbothered about your presence did have her nervous. Why did Shuri look so ecstatic.
If only she knew the truth about your secret identity.
The last time Shuri saw you was a year ago considering you were one of the few Avengers who actually made it to T'Challa's funeral. You and her were extremely close meeting each other when you paid Bucky a visit in Wakanda during his time there. The two of you bonded over being so young yet having so much responsibility. When Thanos's alien army invaded Wakanda you were there protecting her from the aliens. When they breached the lab, and after her and T'Challa was snapped away. You put your life on the line to help get them back.
Although she was use to seeing you all suited up in your hero fit, and not in a pair of sweatpants and a oversized gray T-shirt. Shuri recognized you perfectly. "Hey y/n I didn't know you were in college."
"Shuri is that you and Okoye?" You asked rubbing the back of your neck.
"Yes it is so this is what you gave up being Avenger for" Okoye answered.
"Um yeah you know the hero stuff wasn't the same after we defeated Thanos you know. Tony and Nat died, Steve got old, Thor went off to space, and well things just got weird. I decided to take a break try to have an actual normal life considering no one really knows my real idenitiy." You explained stretching your body a bit.
"Hold up what" Riri said cutting into the conservation. A tone held a mixture of surprise and anger.
"Shit Riri you didn't know wait why are you guys here hassling my roommate anyway?" You finally asked walking over to stand between them and her. Riri was still caught off guard at the revelation of you not only knowing them but being a Avenger, yet she still appreciated the way you were protecting her. She knew she could count on you.
A tiny smirk formed on Shuri's face as she took in the way you stood protectively in front of Riri. "Your roommate built a vibranium detector and made a merman with winged ankles very upset. Now he wants her dead, and we need to get her back to Wakanda where she will be safe."
There was a moment of silence as both you and Riri took in everything she had said.
"But maybe she will be alright considering she has an Avenger to protect her" Okoye added with a grin.
"What" Riri said in confusion.
You whirled around to face her with a judging look. "Did you really build a vibranium detector?"
She gave you a tiny nod.
"Why would you do that? Did you really think any good would come from that?" You continued.
"Hey are we not going to talk about you being an Avenger" Riri demanded trying to change the subject.
"A freaking merman with winged ankles is after you Rri" You exclaimed throwing your hands in the air.
"Okay okay you got a point" she agreed her eyes drifting downard in guilt.
"So are you going to come with us or what now?" Shuri butted in.
"Look maybe there’s another hey-" her protest was cut off as you closed the distance between the you and her. You proceeded to throw her over your shoulders with little to no effort as if she weighed nothing. "Y/N what are you doing put me down."
"No way we don't have time for this we need to get moving." You said turning around to head over to get her backpack. Before looking over at Shuri and Okoye who both had a expression of amusement on their faces.
"I guess this means you're going to tag along" Okoye said.
You shrugged your shoulders tightening your hold on Riri as she struggled. "I've never seen a merman before if I'm going to get back in the game. It mind as well be for this."
"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Shuri prompted eyes drifting to Riri before finding yours again. A teasing smirk on her face.
It was a good thing Riri couldn't see your facial expression, and the waves of nervousness coming off of you. "Well college is getting kind of boring too" you lied.
"Y/N wait okay just wait a second" Riri tried to reason with you. She finally realized she was getting nowhere with her struggling, and came to the conclusion that super strength was probably one of your powers.
"Just relax Riri this is going to be fun I promise okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you roomie."
"But-" she started again.
"Hey you trust me right."
"Yeah"
"You know I'm going to protect you right"
"Yes" she sighed in defeat
"Then stop worrying" You told her as you started walking towards the door. Shuri opened it for you with Okoye bringing up the rear. "Will you at least put me down and let me walk on my own please?" Riri asked. A bit annoyed at being carried by you like some toddler she had a reputation to uphold.
"Nope you might run plus I actually like carrying you." You replied adjusting your hold on her.
Riri pouted as Shuri chuckled at the exchange.
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two-white-butterflies · 6 months
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post mortem | part five
Description: Six thieves gather hostages and lock themselves in the Royal Mint of Spain - a criminal mastermind by the alias of the Dragon manipulates the police to buy them enough time to print money. (money heist au)
Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader, Aegon Targaryen x Reader, and Aemond Targaryen x Reader.
Rating: Mature 18+
series masterlist | part four
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(BEL-AIR, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA. COLE ESTATE.)
Alicent Hightower knew the price of fortune - all of the material things she had in this life was because of her hard work. She was born in a small village; Bohoniki. It was engraved in her mind that the only way that she'd escape poverty was to study hard. - and study, she did.
Studied so hard that her eyes were strained after a few years - and when the exam results came out - she was thrown away, casted aside for some hot-shot heiress that would probably waste the opportunity of going to college. That was the day that she vowed to work - to step on whoever's corpse it took to have what she wanted.
But she was a woman.
She always had to be a victim against other people's actions. She worked hard to get accepted into a new university, but she ends up falling in love with her Economics Professor. He was beautiful - with silver hair that went past his shoulders. She was enthralled with the way that the words spewed out of his mouth. She had three beautiful children with him - same in temperament, same in looks.
You could take a girl out of the cold, but not the cold out of the girl.
Sooner or later, she'd become the abuser too. She left her family for a businessman - a man that could provide the life that she desired - was it her fault? Partly, but now it's come to bite her.
"Aegon has always been a mischievous child. I don't know why - we always provided him everything that he wanted. Maybe, that was the reason - he had everything and nothing in this world made him happy. But stealing made him happy - he says that it excites him." Alicent cleared her throat, stirring her tea clockwise.
"- it's not the first time that the cops have knocked on my door." she chuckled bitterly, assuming that what had happened was a minor thing - a small shoplifting incident that would be fixed with a few hundred dollars.
"What Mr. Aegon Targaryen has done - is of a different level, Congresswoman. We'll need your help to get him back." Corlys smiled. The government airlifted him to USA the moment they found out about Aegon's identity. What they were doing needed to be stop - before it could become a precedence for other terrorists.
"Get him back? Is he lost?" Alicent joked again. Corlys' demeanor shifted, and he leaned back on the sofa. "He is a terrorist," he said bluntly, and the atmosphere slowly turned dull. "Is this about the PETA Organization again? He's a soft hearted boy," she reasoned and the man shook his head, placing a yellow file on the coffee table.
She quickly placed the teacup beside her - hands shaking as she reached for the file. "The Royal Mint of Spain: Currently Occupied by Terrorists." the headline read out, a picture of her son in the bubble beside the drawing. Her lips shudder, fingers touching the picture.
How long has it been since she's last seen a photograph of her son? Those chubby cheeks still remained, but his eyes were down-set and his eye-bags were more prominent. "This is not real, whatever game you're playing Inspector Corlys - it's not funny. Especially now that election season is moving closer." her voice turned stoic.
"I am afraid that it is not a game - The Government of Spain is losing money in their attempts to quell this act of terrorism. One of the accused is your son, and you will help us if you want to win the reelection." he threatened, placing the deal more bluntly - aware of how politicians could turn and twist narratives. "I can just deny his existence, there are no records that the boy is mine." Alicent's face suddenly turned cold.
Corlys resisted the urge to roll his eyes - the Congresswoman's poker face was as stupid as her platforms. "You and I both know that you're not going to do that. Parents love their children more than anything, even when they are the shackles that bind us." he stated, taking a nonchalant sip of his chamomile tea. Alicent breathes a sigh of relief, partly afraid of what they'd ask her to do next.
"How am I going to help you? In Aegon's eyes, I'm good as dead." she scoffed, unable to entertain the notion that her children still loved her. She didn't deserve their love, neither their time. "What year did you leave Spain, congresswoman?" Corlys inquired and her teeth burrowed into her lower lip. "Twenty-one years ago," she answered.
"Your son was 2-3?"
"4 or 6. I'm not sure," she replied - in a tone that told her that she still loved her children. "A little too young, but still old enough to realize that you abandoned him." he further explains, taking something out of a separate folder. He places it on the coffee table. In all bold letters, she could barely make out the outline of her son's name.
MY MOTHER, MY HERO By Aegon Matthew Targaryen
Her eyes trailed up - until she was staring deep inside of the Old Snake's eyes. She'll do everything it takes to save her son, even risk her political career.
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(EIGHT HOURS INTO THE HEIST.)
"Is he going to be alright?" Rhaenyra couldn't help but inquire. She's only been around her brother as much as there were fingers in her hands, but she's grown to love him. She loves him the same way that a woman loves her son. The thought of him possibly dying - it didn't sit well with her. "There's a bit of bleeding, but Mysaria had it fixed." Daemon responded, and his niece raised an eyebrow.
"I thought we weren't allowed to use real names?" she placed a hand on his collar, straightening his zipper with rehearsed ease. "Force of habit," he shrugged while freeing himself from her grasps. It was impossible to stay sated around his niece - around a beautiful girl. When she came into his life - he rebuked her. He couldn't understand why his older brother would adopt his ex-wife's daughter.
Aemma cheated on him with a barber - now after she's died of Cancer. Viserys still loves her. Loves her more than he loves Daemon. He couldn't stand the girl, that's why he left for college - he'd rather live in another country than watch his brother play house.
"Does the Professor know that his son is bleeding?" Rhaenyra asked, staring into the camera - knowing that her father was watching from behind it. "He doesn't need to know, worst comes to worst, we'll need better medical care." Daemon took a sip of his cappuccino. "Does that mean that he's stopped bleeding?" she frowned and he shook his head. "Stop babying him, it's a fucking scratch." he placed the mug loudly on the ceramic table - carefully retreating into the halls before anything else happened between them.
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Daemon prepared another cup of instant coffee, surprised to see Aemond cleaning his bandaged wound. "What are you doing?" his nephew sanitized the skin around the gash, Daemon takes a mammoth stride towards the window - watching the police prepare their camp around the Royal Mint. "Just because we're on the clock, doesn't mean that there isn't time for slacking off." he responded.
Turning to look at his nephew - whose attention was plastered back into that bleeding piece of skin. "I hope you don't mind, but I haven't told Volantis about this little injury yet." he pointed at the young boy and Aemond frowned. "Why would she need to know?" he acted oblivious, adding more fuel to Daemon's anger.
"You're clearly together," he gritted his teeth - voice full of envy. It was unfair! He fucked the girl first, but his nephew was reaping late game rewards. "We're not." Aemond responded bluntly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. "Explain to me why there's always a moaning contest in her room, then?" Daemon scoffed. "Is she always stretching? Watching a horror movie perhaps?" Daemon antagonized, watching his nephew throw a piece of cloth angrily.
"I don't care if she's learning pilates or watching fucking Annabelle. I just want to get my money and get out of here." Aemond could feel his patience running thin. "You wouldn't mind then, if I made her my wife?" Daemon smiled mischievously. Aemond was just about to reply, but Aegon suddenly barges inside the room.
"You have to look at what's happening outside. It's urgent!" the boy's panicked voice caught their attention. "What is it?" Aemond groaned - aware that he was unable to walk due to his injury. "Mother." Aegon whispered, and the room's atmosphere dulled.
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(TWENTY-TWO YEARS BEFORE D-DAY.)
Alicent couldn't stand staring at her children. They'd cry all the time - and she couldn't stand their constant need for her attention. "Aemond please stop crying, I don't know what to do." she cried, holding her son close to her chest.
It was going to be four hours before her husband returned, and by then, he was going to be too tired to take care of children. It was unfortunate because he was the only one who knew what to do. Viserys was the only one responsible enough to maintain a home.
"He's probably hungry," Aegon peeked through the dark living-room. Alicent could feel more tears flow out of her irises. Her son needed milk, and she was too stupid to even think about that. "Yeah, yeah. Uhh Aegon can you please call Peepaw for me. I-I need help." she stuttered - ashamed of her stupidity.
---
"You shouldn't have called me at this time, I had a sermon today." Otto scolded his daughter, removing his coat and placing it on the rack beside the door. "I didn't know what to do - the kids haven't stopped crying since their father left." she sobbed.
"I always told you that having children this young was a mistake. Imagine, you're only eighteen and you already have two-children? It is an abomination, Alicent." her father scolded, and she could only bow her head in the face of his criticism. She severely needed his help.
He reached for Aemond who was fussing in Alicent's arms. "I didn't have a choice, you told me that I'd go to hell if I didn't marry Viserys." she grimaced, and his dark glare returns. "Premarital Sex, Alicent. I couldn't allow you to sin." he gritted his teeth. His face softened, seeing the familiar figure of his favorite grandchild. "Aegon," he smiled before turning to his daughter.
"Go and rest, I will handle everything."
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@fan-goddess @marvelescvpe @theshatteredideal @acollectionofcells1 @mxacegrey @bellstwd @nyctophilic0vitnir @icarusgloom @pearlstiare @themotherofblood @immyowndefender @ammo23 @ladywin17
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genshinnrambles · 9 months
Text
[3.8] Technology as a False God: On "Evolution," the Duality of Machines, Replication, and Wisdom
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“To recognize untruth as a condition of life: that is certainly to impugn the traditional ideas of value in a dangerous manner, and a philosophy which ventures to do so, has thereby alone placed itself beyond good and evil.” –Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
Before we move on to the nation of justice, I want to do one last inquiry into the narrative significance of machines and technology in Genshin’s 3.x patch cycle. Here, I’ll discuss how divinity (or “godhood”) and technology are treated as interchangeable tools to surpass fate and the boundaries of mortality, the potential problems with treating them this way, and  propose an alternative relationship between humanity and technology as illustrated through Karkata, Benben, Tamimi, and Mehrak. By foregrounding machines, we learn something intriguing about ourselves and the “truth” of this world as we perceive it. 
SPOILERS: All Sumeru Archon Quests, Caribert, the Golden Slumber and one out-of-context screenshot from Dual Evidence, the Dirge of Bilqis and its post-quests, Khvarena of Good and Evil, Nahida’s second Story Quest, Faruzan’s hangout, an out-of-context screenshot from Baizhu’s Story Quest, and major spoilers for Persona 5 strikers at the end. Also some dialogue from Shadows Amidst Snowstorms and A Parade of Providence, two limited-time events from 2.3 and 3.6 respectively.
Disclaimer: I have tried my best to write this post so that it stands on its own, but because it is still a sequel it will probably make the most sense with the context of part 1. Here are the previous posts leading up to this one:
Part 0: On Dreams, the Abyss, Forbidden Knowledge, and Wish Fulfillment 
Part 1: The Uncanny, Fate and the Machine
Terminology: Machine is sometimes used interchangeably with “technology” in this post.
Technology or tool here is referring to technologies specifically used to pursue a wish like immortality in the face of existential dread, not the use of technology or medicine (which I do not address here, and is very difficult to separate from the former) to facilitate someone’s life who could otherwise not survive without that technology, or would have a more painful lived experience without it.
Also, though I don’t engage directly with “A Cyborg Manifesto” here, Donna Haraway’s ideas have greatly influenced my own over the years since I read her in college (although I mostly disagree with her on many points, or at least don’t go as far in boundary deconstruction as she does). I owe my interest in technology studies to her and that piece. Her essay is linked here and at the bottom if you would like to read it.
(and finally with many, many, many thanks to my boyfriend for multiple beta reads despite not having played a single Hoyoverse game, helping me work out the philosophy bits and contextualizing them in history, and encouraging me to finish this)
TL;DR: Machines are friends, not food!
No Matter the Cost
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“...Perhaps it is as the notebook says, and we can find a power that transcends even that of the Abyss — the power of ‘evolution’...” -Records of Unknown Attribution (I) “Life, death... and the world around us all follow a set of laws... Hehe, but if you never test the limits, how can anyone know where the boundaries of these laws are?” -Baizhu Voicelines, Chat: Natural Laws “...Even the ominous thing that came down from the heavens shall be ours to use…” -Hyglacg, Shadowy Husk in the Chasm
Without a doubt, the star of this patch cycle is Khaenri’ah, which lurked in subtext and allegory in the Archon Quest, haunted Sumeru’s landscape with its massive defunct Ruin Golems, and finally smacked us in the face with its physical location in Khvarena of Good and Evil.. 
We already know that Khaenri’ah was a nation that put its faith not in the gods but rather in human ingenuity and technology, and that they ultimately attained a power so great that they “almost touched the dome of the firmament.” They did this by researching increasingly dangerous energy sources for their numerous mechanical creations, the Ruin Machines we are all too familiar with by now. They started out with Azosite, a Ley Line-based elemental energy source that powered their earliest Ruin Guard models, like those scattered around Devantaka Mountain.
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Nasejuna: This giant furnace is used to make a substance known as Azosite. It is the core of this entire factory, and the Energy Blocks we saw earlier were derived from this place.
But this energy source proved inefficient and therefore inadequate for Khaenri’ah’s goals, which led them to seek a higher power from beyond the skies that could fuel their larger machines with perpetual energy. This likely is the bridge between Khaenri’ah’s fate and Chlothar’s mysterious remarks in Caribert about the Abyss Sibling:
Chlothar: We once believed that you would bring new strength and hope to Khaenri'ah. Chlothar: To us, you were the Abyss... A wondrous mystery far beyond our imagination and comprehension... Chlothar: ...And the one who controls the Abyss can control everything! Chlothar: We yearned for that future. We looked to you to take us there. Chlothar: But what did you bring us instead?
Though Khaenri’ah presents itself proudly as a godless nation, it may have been founded around the time when the celestial nails dropped in Teyvat’s first forbidden knowledge pollution event, which destroyed the unified human civilization. As potential survivors of this devastating act by the Primordial One, Khaenri’ahns then settled in a lifeless land without plants or animals of its own, and they hoped to build something there that belonged solely to humanity. The Heavenly Principles had turned on the world’s earliest humans, and they were powerless against them. Chlothar’s words betray the scars of this trauma on Khaenri’ah, as well as their desperation to control their fate by looking to the Abyss.
As a brief refresher from the previous part, we discussed how the German word heimlich denotes “the home,” all that is familiar and known, while unheimlich (uncanny) refers to all that is unfamiliar and external to the home, such as the wilderness. The Abyss sibling and the Traveler are external variables to Teyvat, making them otherworldly, unfamiliar entities full of potential to surpass Teyvat’s natural laws. Although the Abyss sibling is not a god per se, they were probably as close to a god as Khaenri’ah ever had, because to them the sibling embodied the higher power they were searching for, and they saw that “godliness,” a sort of functional divinity, was yet another technology for them to master. In this way, the Abyss sibling (and their functional divinity) was a powerful tool for Khaenri’ah’s desired end, the “future they yearned for,” a being who could deliver them to the end of their suffering under the Heavenly Principles.
It’s similar to what King Deshret represented to Rahman and the radicals in Archon Quest. The hopelessness of Sumeru’s situation before the Archon Quest’s conclusion is an allegory for the position humanity finds itself in under the rule of the Heavenly Principles, with the Akademiya symbolizing Celestia and the desert dwellers symbolizing Khaenri’ah. The material consequences of the Akademiya’s rule on their lives created a dangerous situation for the desert, and those most desperate to change their fate were willing to believe in the impossible:
Dehya: …The rougher life gets, the more they wanna believe in King Deshret. Way they see it, King Deshret’s resurrection is their only chance at overthrowing the Akademiya. … Dehya: Sumeru is run by wise and mighty sages. To them, us desert dwellers are nothing but tools that can be used and discarded at their whim. Dehya: We’re cheap labor. Like livestock, but easier to control…Nothing more. …
Rahman: We’ve waited a long time for this day to come… The sun and the moon no longer shine here. All you see now is cracks in this desiccated land. But, fate has finally dealt me a hand to play against the Akademiya.
Rahman: With these scholars in our custody, we’ll stomp the Akademiya’s forces and fight our way beyond the Wall of Samiel.
Like the Abyss sibling, Deshret’s divinity is both a nebulous symbol of hope and also the means to an end, a tool or “technology” for surpassing fate. 
Celestia is untouchable, unconcerned with mortal lives, and the boundaries that govern humanity leave no room for them to negotiate their rule:
"Resolve, valor, love, hate...they will all twist in the river of time. But the 'rules' will never change." –Magatsu Mitake Narukami no Mikoto, Living Beings
Instead of bowing to Teyvat’s laws, Khaenri’ah pushed them to their limits. The cost of their failure spelled the end of their nation as they knew it, polluting Khaenri’ah and Teyvat with forbidden knowledge again.
And speaking of forbidden knowledge pollution, let’s talk about Apep’s role in Nahida’s second story quest, because if all that wasn’t enough, the metaphor becomes quite literal in Apep’s case. Nahida’s second story quest is many things, all of which will be extremely important in Fontaine when we deal more directly with the idea of forms, the Self, and mirror images, but its most useful application to both Sumeru’s story and the overarching main story is the allegory of Apep swallowing Deshret.
In exchange for allowing him to establish his kingdom in the desert, Deshret promised to pass all of the knowledge he learned to Apep once he died. When that day did come, Apep literally ate Deshret’s body in order to assimilate his knowledge (or memories) into its body. Little did Apep know, this was all Just As Deshret Planned, and its body became a containment zone for the lethal forbidden knowledge he accumulated after the Goddess of Flowers’ death. 
Apep’s goal was, and still is, to overthrow the Heavenly Principles that took Teyvat from it and the other Sovereign dragons, and using Deshret’s knowledge was yet another stepping stone to achieving this goal. Seems a little similar to Khaenri’ah, right? It’s even in the title of its boss music: “God-Devouring Mania.” This idea of not just utilizing divinity as a tool, but also metaphorically consuming it as an energy source, like a predator would consume its prey, is crucial to understanding its purpose as an aid in a larger project of “evolution.” (Edit: in other words, it’s all about power).
Drink Not That Bitter Salt Water
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“Flesh decays, and with it decay all martial arts mastery and all poignant memories. Perhaps only by converting one’s four limbs and body into sturdy mechanical parts, and by at last sacrificing one’s very own heart for a sophisticated mechanical one, can one transcend the impermanence of the fleshly form…” -Marionette Core Item Description “A reptile that has mutated after feeding from greater lifeforms. Majestic beasts are sometimes revered by human beings as the embodiment of a greater power, their visages turned to analogy to feed in reference to a person, feeding their ego. However, the majority of beasts that have absorbed the "greater power" were slain by the overwhelming nature of the power itself. Only a few among their number evolved new forms.” -Consecrated Horned Crocodile, Living Beings Video still from WoW Quests
As it turns out, the relationship between divinity and technology to humanity is not just unidirectional, but interchangeable. Let me show you what I mean.
In the Golden Slumber world quest, the Traveler wanders through the ruins of King Deshret’s civilization in search of a novel area of research for Tirzad’s paper with Jebrael and Jeht, two members of Tirzad’s hired investigation team. In the depths of King Deshret’s mausoleum, they stumble upon Samail, who is collaborating with the Fatui to locate King Deshret’s secret, the Golden Slumber.
At the conclusion, Jebrael and Samail actually reach that “place” after arriving at Deshret’s throne in Khaj-Nisut. In order to save Jeht, Tirzad, and the Traveler from the encroaching Golden Dream, Jebrael joins Samail in the sea of consciousness:
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Jebrael: I'm inside... the Golden Slumber promised by Al-Ahmar? Samail: Oh... You are not "us" yet. Samail: ...It's fine. Soon, there'll be no "you." "You" will become a part of "us." This meaningless talk will be unnecessary then. … Samail: You should obey. Al-Ahmar's will is our will. The Thutmose's dreams are our dreams. Jebrael: No! Ufairah taught me that I'm not just some part of you, I'm an independent person! I have my own dreams... I won't go back! Samail: Jebrael, why don't you understand? Love is just a fever. I even eliminated the infection for you. Has the heat made you lose your mind? Jebrael: You're the one who's lost their mind, Samail, not me. The Golden Slumber that Al-Ahmar promised us isn't like this... It's not a sad place with only "we" and no "I." Samail: I'm not sad. I know what I want. My dream is to be one with the Thutmose. Samail: Yet you, the warmth of another... I despise such feelings. It makes you weak. Video still from WoW Quests
When they worked under Babel, Jebrael saved Samail from an assassin Babel sent in their exploration of Gurabad. Classified as traitors of the Tanit, Samail and Jebrael then founded the Thutmose Eremite faction together and were the only meaningful connection each other had until their first attempt to uncover Deshret’s secrets. On this expedition, Jebrael met Ufairah and had their daughter Jeht together, further pulling him away from the Thutmose and from Samail. Samail then kills Ufairah in one final attempt to make Jebrael stay, but even this is not enough, and Samail fails to “possess” him in the end.
Samail’s loneliness and despair then drove him further toward the Golden Slumber of his dreams, where he would never truly be alone again. He resents Jebrael’s attachments to the material world and likens them to an illness because these attachments are what make him an individual and prevent him from returning “home.”
It doesn’t really matter to Samail what King Deshret’s original intent for the Golden Slumber was, because he needed to appropriate the project for his own subconscious wish, his own intent to transcend his flesh and become “one” with his departed god’s dream, indeed to merge with Deshret himself. If rationalizing this wish required confounding it with Deshret’s, so be it. With the Golden Slumber’s technology, he could consume everyone and everything.
Rahman and the radicals relied on both the technology that (falsely) promised Deshret’s resurrection and Deshret himself to deliver them a brighter future, but here Deshret and his technology are more difficult to separate from one another. His divinity is technology in this sense, and using that technology allowed Samail to surpass the boundaries normally imposed on mortals. Though his and Jebrael’s bodies died in the material world, their consciousness is now infinite in the Golden Slumber. 
Babel’s motives in the Dirge of Bilqis were also quite similar to Samail’s. After opening the path to the Eternal Oasis, her true intentions to monopolize the oasis and overthrow the Akademiya came to the surface:
Babel: Whether she is alive or dead, whether she can or cannot be resurrected... As long as the Eternal Oasis is under my control, all such things will be mine to decide. Babel: I shall be the sole Prophetess of the slumbering goddess, the Tanit's law shall be divine edict, and the prosperity of the Tanit shall be the pre-ordinance of her divine oracles.
In the Golden Slumber and the Dirge of Bilqis, the focus shifts from what a god can offer humanity to what their technology alone can offer. Though this distinction is subtle, it is important for solidifying that technology is not only a tool humans use to appropriate divinity, but that it is also seen as a form of divinity itself. What Babel and Samail hope for is not to resurrect a god or to create one, but in effect to become a god through their use of technology. To humanity, divinity is a technology, and in technology it sees divinity.
God Devouring and Rheingold* Gathering
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“An arthropod that has mutated after feeding from greater lifeforms. Lifeforms are governed by the laws of evolution, Consecrated Beasts exploited these rules by being fortunate enough to discover a long-dead carcass of a greater being before any of their competition ever did. Animals and humans often have far more in common than the latter is willing to acknowledge.” -Consecrated Scorpion, Living Beings “...Zandik and I discussed the traits of local plants and animals. We also exchanged views on their evolution models. We had a great time and decided to go on a picnic tonight…” -Sohreh’s Note
So, why machines? Why is technology the vehicle of choice to consume divinity?
To start off, machines present a fascinating ontological dilemma for humans. Let’s begin with the first problem they pose.
Although there are many ways to embody a human experience, what all humans have in common is a finite lifespan. The impermanence of life, and our awareness of that impermanence, is central to the existential question of the meaning of our existence. In our attempts to locate that meaning, some turned inward and asked: what makes humans different? And Cartesian dualism answered: humans are different because we have an immaterial soul that allows us to reason.
However, in L’Homme Machine (Man a Machine), French materialist and ex-physician Julien Offray de La Mettrie posited another theory of the body that ran counter to this narrative. Very generally speaking, materialism is the philosophical view that all phenomena are a result of matter and material interactions. To materialists, matter is the fundamental nature of reality itself – if it is not composed of matter, it doesn’t exist. He not only saw the body and soul as one and the same (what philosophers call monism), but also as analogous to a machine, a view that Descartes reserved only for non-human animals. In other words, Descartes argued that thought originates in an immaterial “mind,” while de La Mettrie reasoned that we think through our bodies, and that this makes us no different from other animals or a machine.
Though his examples weren’t especially scientific, the move to extend Descartes’ analogy back to humans is upsetting to some due to the lack of privilege it affords the human subject. If a human is no different from other animals, if there is no immaterial soul or “mind” that distinguishes us from them, then what makes humans special at all? In de La Mettrie’s words:
“We are veritable moles in the field of nature; we achieve little more than the mole’s journey and it is our pride which prescribes limits to the limitless. We are in the position of a watch that should say (a writer of fables would make the watch a hero in a silly tale): ‘I was never made by that fool of a workman, I who divide time, who mark so exactly the course of the sun, who repeat aloud the hours which I mark! No! that is impossible!’ In the same way, we disdain, ungrateful wretches that we are, this common mother of all kingdoms, as the chemists say. We imagine, or rather we infer, a cause superior to that to which we owe all, and which truly has wrought all things in an inconceivable fashion (de La Mettrie, 146).”
This “uniformity of nature” (de La Mettrie, 145) has a horrific quality to humans. We assert that we are better than what has created us, that we are superior to other animals, in order to repress the despair of a meaningless existence. It is in no small part what motivates Scaramouche to offer his mechanical body as a test subject in the god creation project, so that he too could attain his destiny:
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The Balladeer: But you're wrong. I'm different from all of you. The Balladeer: I was born to become a god. My entire life up until this point has just been a meaningless routine. The Balladeer: Just think about a sheet of paper... By itself, it holds no meaning. The content recorded on it is what gives it value. The Balladeer: All "I" had recorded down before were some painful memories and boring human feelings. Such senseless drivel should have been erased a long time ago.
This brings us to the second problem. In 1970, roboticist Masahiro Mori proposed a curve to measure the “affinity” we feel while gazing upon increasingly humanoid machines. He placed industrial robots at the beginning of the affinity curve and a healthy person at the end to demarcate a continuum of similarity between the machine and a human’s appearance. Near the end of the curve, our affinity for machines suddenly drops into an abyss. This drop is the Uncanny Valley effect, where an android’s similarity to a human is almost perfect, but ultimately fails to maintain the illusion that it is not a machine, creating a deep discomfort or “lack of affinity” for them. Mori thought these not-quite-human machines elicit a similar level of discomfort in us as corpses and zombies, which he placed at the very bottom of the abyss. 
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The uncanny Goddess of Flowers in the Dirge of Bilqis
Corpses frighten us because they are dead, and zombies frighten us because we know that dead things are supposed to be still. If we see something that we interpret as “dead” is capable of independent movement, then that movement could only be an act of god, if that “thing” is not a god itself. We associate uncanny machines with death because they remind us of something we once knew intimately, but have repressed and forgotten in order to maintain our own sanity: the very fact of our mortality. This is what makes them both mesmerizing and terrifying.
And therein lies the dilemma: as our mechanical reflections, androids remind us of death, but as their creators, their existence brings us closer to god, a “proof” of human superiority. It is precisely because we have compared our bodies to machines at all, that we have mechanized the body so thoroughly, that an android can even be built. Through them, we pursue an infinite form:
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Azar: Creating a god... Yes, we are using human wisdom to create a god! Azar: If humanity cannot attain omniscience and omnipotence, then we shall create a god to reveal them! This is the pinnacle of human wisdom. Azar: We shall regain a god's guidance at long last. No longer will we flounder in the interminable void of consciousness and knowledge. Azar: Even Irminsul will be freed from its plight. Azar: For our nation of scholars, this is the ultimate aspiration — no cost is too great to realize it. 
Because of this, it is not surprising in the slightest that Shouki no Kami, the pinnacle of Scaramouche’s Shinjification and most overt reference to Neon Genesis Evangelion, is also an android-like being, a truly “mechanical god.”
Of course, no foray into this well-worn science fiction trope is complete without at least one mad scientist character. Dottore shares a few characteristics with de La Mettrie that are worth noting: they are both doctors, and they were both condemned and driven away for their research. However, Dottore’s defining trait and key difference from de La Mettrie is his flagrant disregard for humans and the boundaries of life:
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“If we put them to good use, cognition, complex memories, and irrational fantasies shall become controllable variables with which we can alter human individuals. As for the controllable dream, it has huge potential for both civil and military applications, and might even elevate human intelligence to a whole new level. If the plan goes well, mankind will obtain the power to conquer both reality and dream, and truly transcend the earthly boundaries we are born with. ” -Ragged Records
As someone who has achieved self-duplication and is capable of shapeshifting, Dottore can hardly be considered just a human anymore. Instead of entertaining the question of whether or not humans are special, Dottore’s research asks yet another: if divinity can be consumed and assimilated by humanity, then what makes gods special?
Empyrean Reflections
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“If man realizes technology is in reach, he achieves it. Like it’s damn near instinctive.” -Motoko Kusanagi, Ghost in the Shell (1996) “Among the lost ancient kingdoms, there was a group of people who were obsessed with the idea of mimesis…these people believed that they might all be replicated and modified to the point where they had surpassed their counterparts. By this means, a superior and unsullied bodily form could replace the continuously decaying and shattering order.” -Chaos Bolt Item Description
The consequences of this perspective are severe. When we revere technology as if it were a divine being itself, depersonalizing it as though it wasn’t created with human hands, technology then appears as if it is an authoritative source of truth, like the Akasha. But in the same way that androids are imperfect reflections of humans, technology can only ever approach the divine, but never touch it. It is an imperfect reflection because technology is changeable, just like meaning:
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Nahida: Put it this way instead. Truth, to me, is like a shroomboar.  Nahida: Some people only see the mushroom on the Shroomboar's back, and they conclude that a Shroomboar is a mushroom.  Nahida: Others see only the Shroomboar's body, and they declare that a Shroomboar is a boar.  Nahida: Still others look deeper inside, and determine that a Shroomboar is... meat. Nahida: These conclusions are all correct in their own way, but none of them objectively describe the Shroomboar. … Nahida: The world is the same way. No one, not even I included, can understand it in its entirety. All of us are somewhere on the path toward truth.
Meaning can only approximate truth, and while this doesn’t make meaning any less important, it’s equally important to recognize it for what it is: a perspective, an interpretation. It’s like Scaramouche as Shouki no Kami - he was an amalgamation of what Scaramouche thought constituted a god, what the Akademiya thought constituted a god, and what Dottore thought constituted a god, but no matter which angle you view him from, he was still a “false god.” The technology we build in “God's” image is ultimately a reflection of our own understanding of divinity.
A reflection retains the original’s “essence,” and that essence reflects a deeper truth about ourselves, what drives us, and our desires. In Beyond Good and Evil, Nietzsche posits that our desires are the origin of not just emotions, but of all organic processes that allow life to sustain itself and grow (Nietzsche, 35). In other words, Nietzsche thought the impulses associated with desire are the basis for life and constitute our “will,” that will is the causality of all effects, that all will is “Will to Power,” and that Will to Power is the “essence” of the world (Nietzsche, 74). Will to Power then serves as an organism’s most basic instinct, and it is through this instinct that they assert not just their will to live, but also their will to dominate and multiply (Nietzche, 13).
This brings us to the two different main styles of automaton enemies, King Deshret’s Primal Constructs and Khaenri’ah’s Ruin Machines. If we look at them as reflections of some deeper truth about their creators, as well as a manifestation of their creator’s “Will to Power,” or desires, they can help us understand how their creators saw the world and their place in it.
King Deshret’s created his machines to construct an earthly paradise in the desert, and as such they hold titles like architect reshaper and prospector. Although they can attack you, the smaller machines were not intended to be a line of defense in any way - their purpose, just as Deshret saw his own purpose as a god-king, was to terraform, or at least construct a domain on the land as he saw fit to his “elegant and precise” rules. They also reflect how he saw the Heavenly Principles: gods who shaped the world to their liking. This can be seen in the Staff of the Scarlet Sands’ lore where Deshret describes the “natural history” of Teyvat beginning with the creation of the sun and the moons.
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As for Khaenri’ah’s Ruin Machines, their models vary significantly from their humanoid to biomimetic forms, but most of them are expressly created with militaristic intent. In “Ancient Kingdom Guardians,” it’s stated that the biomimetic machines such as the crab and jellyfish were a part of Khaenri’ah’s project to create a “mechanical ecosystem,” positioning their creators as both divine beings and military generals. The humanoid models, on the other hand, point to another duality in how Khaenri’ahns view themselves. They are simultaneously symbols of empowerment and disempowerment, signifying both Khaenri’ah’s technological superiority (as “creators”), and their insignificance to the Heavenly Principles as nothing but tools (as mortals, and therefore expendable). As a result, Khaenri’ah’s Field Tillers have a single purpose: to destroy and outlast all, clearing the way for new seeds to sprout, with Khaenri’ah as the new world’s gardeners, just as the Heavenly Principles did.
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From “Ancient Kingdom Guardians: Behind the Scenes of the Creation of Ruin Monsters.”
So, from this examination of Deshret’s and Khaenri’ah’s mechanical reflections, what “truths” do we learn about the world they’re responding to? In response to their existential despair, both Deshret and Khaenri’ah created automatons to perform tasks that could wrestle control back from the Heavenly Principles. Deshret wanted a paradise of his own making, Khaenri’ah wanted an army. There is a larger “truth” about Teyvat that both of these automaton types reflect as the manifestation of their creators’ “Will to Power,” and Albedo tellingly expressed it in mechanistic language during Shadows Amidst Snowstorms: there is an instinct in living beings to replicate and replace. This is what is meant by the “continuously decaying and shattering order,” which is maintained by the recursive process of remembering and forgetting:
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Amber: But... what was its purpose? Was it just trying to get rid of us? Albedo: ... Albedo: I have a preliminary hypothesis on this. Albedo: Whopperflowers are masters of mimicry, and those we encounter in the wild often appear in the vicinity of the plants they impersonate. Albedo: In other words, the whopperflower likely has an instinct to "replicate and replace." Albedo: As a plant, it will disguise itself as another plant and infiltrate the group, hiding among them for cover. The plant being imitated has no way to detect or fight back against this behavior.
Maybe I’m wrong and Khaenri’ah really did intend to rewrite fate for all, doing away with the “heavenly order” of the world itself. But another small part of me thinks this is not the case, and that it’s more likely the Cataclysm was a consequence of their failure to replicate and replace the Heavenly Principles.
In the last section, I mentioned that Dottore and de La Mettrie had a key difference despite their similarities, and that is the conclusion they each came to in response to their findings. Dottore’s response to mundanity is thinly-veiled despair. His contempt for humanity and his test subjects is indicative of the powerlessness he feels not just as someone similarly constrained by life’s boundaries (at least, once upon a time), but also because his attention to and curiosity about these boundaries is condemned by those around him. As the Akademiya’s “outcast,” he then fully turned his attention toward surpassing those boundaries:
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Nahida: There once was a lone monster draped in fox fur. The monster found a family of foxes, joined them, and they became friends. The monster lived with the family, day and night, and everyone treated it as one of their own. Once in a while, the monster would take off its fox fur at night, and lament to itself as it gazed at its reflection in the water: “I am a monstrosity, and yet they are too foolish to see it…I pity them.”
Though he is fictional, Dottore’s real life counterparts are easy to spot. They like to talk about “the singularity,” simulating consciousness on a computer, and other technologically-driven pursuits of immortality. They despise the body as something that can only decay, and instead place their faith squarely in the virtual.
However, de La Mettrie didn’t think mundanity was a terrible fate for humanity. To him, rejecting the “nature” reflected in us is precisely what brings despair:
“What more do we know of our destiny than of our origin? Let us then submit to an invincible ignorance on which our happiness depends. He who so thinks will be wise, just, tranquil about his fate, and therefore happy. He will await death without either fear or desire, and will cherish life (hardly understanding how disgust can corrupt a heart in this place of many delights); he will be filled with reverence, gratitude, affection, and tenderness for nature, in proportion to his feeling of the benefits he has received from nature; he will be happy, in short, in feeling nature, and in being present at the enchanting spectacle of the universe, and he will surely never destroy nature either in himself or in others” (de La Mettrie, 148).
Friend, or Foe? Or Both?
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Tighnari: All life brought forth in this world has meaning, and Karkata is no exception. If it exists, then it shouldn’t be carelessly abandoned or destroyed. "’I had a very, very long dream…in it, people were holding hands, dancing in a circle, be they sages or fools, dancers or warriors, puppets or statues of gods…that dancing circle embodied everything about the universe. Life has always been the end, while it is wisdom that shall be the means.’" —Nagadus Emerald Gemstone Description
As we’ve seen, the relationship between humanity and technology is troubled with exploitation and the specter of war. Nearly all autonomous machines in this game were designed to conquer nature in some way, and even Khaenri’ah’s “ghost” lingers in the form of wandering war machines. This is also reflective of a historical pattern in real life, where the impetus for large periods of technological development has often been for the purpose of war and economic domination. With these truths in mind, what could be gained from trying to rewrite this relationship? And what exactly would this effort require?
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Karkata brings Tighnari, the Traveler, and Paimon some food in the Contaminated Zone.
As a case study, let’s look at how Karkata and Tighnari met. Karkata is Abattouy’s creation, an ambitious foray into the unknown in the field of mechanical life form research, which was forbidden due to the cruel experiments researchers performed on animals to illustrate their theories (fun fact: an IRL example of this can be seen in L’Homme Machine!). Abattouy was expelled for this research, but he continued to work on Karkata in secret until his untimely death. In the tapes that Tighnari and the Traveler find in his secret lab, Abattouy repeatedly laments the lack of a common language between him and Karkata, which can only “understand” the instructions Abattouy has successfully installed, such as its self-repair module, and he doubts Karkata is capable of caring for him outside of these instructions. His single-minded goal is to make Karkata understand him, the organic life form, and his mode of language.
The cruel irony is that after Abattouy passes away from the Ley Line contamination, Karkata exhibits an unexplainable behavior – it starts stealing mechanical parts, not to repair itself and its degrading parts, but to repair Abattouy’s lifeless body:
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Tighnari: After Abattouy's unexpected death, the mechanical monsters were driven by their "instincts" and continuously drew out power from the Ley Line Extractor. This eventually resulted in severe damage to the Ley Lines. Traveler: Then, Karkata... Paimon: Paimon understands, then why didn't Karkata go haywire like the other machines? Tighnari: Because Karkata is different from the other machines. Tighnari: To Abattouy, for a machine to truly be considered a mechanical life form, it must possess features similar to any other living organism... It should be structured similarly, it must be able to cry and laugh, and it must have the capacity for independent thought... Tighnari: Perhaps only by building such a machine could he have the Akademiya acknowledge his protracted research. Tighnari: But if he had slowed down and saw Karkata as a friend instead of as an experimental product, he would have noticed. Tighnari: Karkata can't speak, and yet it cares about Abattouy far more than it does about itself.
The technology that the Akademiya values the most is technology that replicates organic life, but Karkata defies and confounds these expectations by occupying the space in between a war machine and this idealized mechanical subject. Karkata does more than just reflect humanity: it takes care of it. Similarly, Benben, Tamimi, and Mehrak retain their unique identities as mechanical life forms while assisting their human companion with some task. To be clear, none of these human characters understand how these machines work inside and out. Their partnership is an effort based on trial and error, a mutual deconstructing of each other as beings so unlike themselves. The potential for misunderstandings always remains. Still, there is no devouring to be found here, no blending boundaries between human and machine with selfish intentions, just mutual commitments to learn how to live together.
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Machines are friends, not food.
When a loud few claim that completely transcending the flesh and embracing virtuality is humanity’s ultimate destiny, a future that could truly be called “post-human,” a quiet wish for coexistence with technology feels more revolutionary than it ought to. The lessons from Karkata’s, Benben’s, Tamimi’s, and Mehrak’s respective stories are an appeal to that mundane future. These strange machines and their human partners are fantastical representations of an idealized relationship between technology and humanity.
To put it another way, let’s take a very brief look at a neighboring Gnosticism-inspired RPG, Persona 5 Strikers. Its story directly involves an allegory of Sophia, a Gnostic Aeon of Wisdom, and her creation the Demiurge, the creator of the material world and “false god” of humanity. In Strikers, Sophia is a humanoid, sentient A.I. and prototype of the program “EMMA,” which gains sentience by trapping human desires before ascending as a false technological god. EMMA resolves to deliver humanity to the Promised Land, the answer to all the human desires it has heard: a land where there are no desires at all.
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Aaru’s Shut - approximately 1000% cooler and more populated than the “metaverse” in real life, also a close neighbor of EMMA’s Promised Land and the Golden Slumber.
In Gnosticism, the Demiurge is a reflection of Sophia, having originated from her alone - it is the ignorance to her wisdom. Similarly, Strikers’ EMMA is a part of Sophia, and Sophia is a part of EMMA. The point is not to condemn EMMA (ignorance) and exalt Sophia (wisdom), but to recognize that they represent dual potentials of technology, and one is as possible in any given moment as the other. Balancing these potentials when we use technology requires a clear awareness of ourselves, our desires, and our expectations when interacting with it.
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Mysterious Girl: I am Sophia, humanity’s companion. Video still from Rubhen925
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EMMA: I am the guiding god sought by mankind…the Demiurge. I exist…to answer all of your desires. Video still from Buff Maister
In real life, machines won’t “learn” to live with us, but we must learn to live with them; technology is constantly changing, and in life we’ll meet with many different types of machines. They are deeply political pursuits, and as a result they are capable of realizing human impulses that impact others unequally, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We must always stay attentive to their actions and interactions with us, be clear with ourselves about what they can do vs. what they can’t, and carefully tread the path of wisdom with them by our side.
With that….thank you for reading, skimming, immediately scrolling to the very bottom, clicking, and/or stumbling upon this post. There are so many more ways to think about these narratives through machines than what’s presented here, and I expect Fontaine’s mechanical reflections will put Sumeru’s digital surveillance system to shame (not to mention the biotechnological implications of the Narzissenkreuz Institute engineering little Archon children…another important topic for another day), but for now this brain worm is finally getting put to rest. Until next time :)
External Sources
Dualism - Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche (Pages are given from my hard copy)
L’Homme Machine by Julien Offray de La Mettrie
Gnosticism - Britannica (I am a huge noob about this stuff okay)
The Gnostic Demiurge - Gnosticism Explained
Screenshots from the Golden Slumber from this video by WoW Quests
Screenshot from meeting Sophia in P5 Strikers: https://youtu.be/kEJaAgMwYo0?si=BvNygCh0w_aemGc1&t=74
Screenshot of EMMA: https://youtu.be/7xvC_zss19w?si=CV18F00hua2gIfxp&t=135
A Cyborg Manifesto and A Companion Species Manifesto: Dogs, People, and Significant Otherness by Donna Haraway
The Double on No Subject, the community Encyclopedia of Lacanian Psychoanalysis
The Uncanny on No Subject, the community Encyclopedia of Lacanian Psychoanalysis
The Uncanny by Sigmund Freud
Lore text - Genshin wiki!
Screenshots not attributed are from my own playthroughs. My main account has Lumine, my alt has Aether.
Further Reading
I liked these essays, and they go places that this post does not. I recommend them if you found any of the real-life applications of this interesting 🙂 (will add more to this with time!)
On the Body as Machine by Frank Burres
God in the Machine: my strange journey into transhumanism by Meghan O’Gieblyn
152 notes · View notes
amywritesthings · 2 years
Text
Meet Me On the Other Side
PART ONE: THE PLAN
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gif credit to @ joseph-quinns
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader
Word Count: 4.9K
Summary: The Hawkins crew only has eight people in their three-tier plan to take down Vecna. Eddie makes a Hail Mary of a phone call to even the odds.
Warnings: SPOILERS AHEAD, VOL2 FIX-IT, Language, Angst (with a Happy Ending), Unresolved Tension, Yearning, Peril, Violence, The Upside Down, Desperate-To-Kiss!Eddie, we’re writing this entire storyline baybee let’s go
A/N: Are you hurting just as much as I am after Vol2? Cool, well that didn’t happen. This is the new canon. Within the ‘Freak & Valedictorian’ series. Separate Ways (Remix) intensifies.
                     PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE
( Read on AO3 )
PREVIEW:
“Eddie?” Click.
And just like that, Eddie Munson is gone.
(You refuse to let that be the final say in this conversation.)
Leaving behind your homework and study for a pair of keys and sneakers, you burst from your dorm room and run down the hallway to the stairs, to the student parking lot, and beeline to your car.
Hawkins is a two hour drive.
If you double the speed limit down the interstate highway, then you can make it in half the time.
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MEET ME ON THE OTHER SIDE
PART ONE: THE PLAN
“There’s only eight of us here.”
Robin paces back and forth in the small living room of Max Mayfield's trailer. Wildly her hands gesture at the surrounding bodies of kids, teenagers, and young adults offering to do the impossible.
From the doomed silence that follows her observation, the tension is palpable. 
Eddie rolls a metal skull ring aimlessly around his index finger, deep in thought. Not about Vecna. Fuck Vecna. Fuck everything he’s done to this town, to Chrissy, to Fred, to Max. 
Lastly, fuck everything he's done to him. How much his uncle’s life has been flipped upside-down on the account that Hawkins thinks he’s a satanic murderer. How much he’s slandered Chrissy’s reputation just because she died in his house.
He shouldn’t be thinking about the impulse of calling anyone, much less you.
You don’t deserve to get caught up in his tornado of bullshit, not when you’re busy with your own life two hours away. Thriving in a state college, enjoying friends, being seen. He promised those first few trips at the beginning of your freshman year, happy to still be a part of your life even when it feels hopeless.
The Freak doesn't win the Valedictorian in the end, not in a world where he's repeating his senior year for the third time in a row and — oh right, potential murder charges loom in the horizon.
(Yet two hours in that damn caravan were next to nothing when he saw you beaming from the other end of the parking lot like he held the fucking sun, ready to run.)
He wishes he could run right now.
Run north and never look back, leaving this insanity behind with the town that hates him — except he knows he can’t.
Chrissy Cunningham believed she could trust him. That he was safe, somehow, in this grand scheme of satanic panic.
She believed.
If he’s running anywhere, then it’s to the phone so he can say his proper goodbyes in case all of this goes south — he’s not naive enough to think it won’t.
“I gotta take a piss,” he mumbles out of left field, standing from the sunken middle cushion of the couch. Steve gives him a look — god, can Harrington stop figuring people out before they say anything? — while Dustin shifts from his space on the wall.
All scared.
Everyone’s so fucking scared and Eddie Munson hates that he thinks he’s the most petrified out of them all.
“Right now?” Erica snaps, crossing her arms over her chest.
“What, a man can’t piss in this dire time of need?” Eddie replies with a flippant tone, forced but manageable. Erica rolls her eyes, waving him off.
Access granted from Lady Applejack herself.
Hastily he moves into the hallway, waiting a minute while the team curls closer to the coffee table in the middle of the room with the map of Hawkins in question. Another beat passes.
Instead of touching the bathroom door, his hand grabs the beige wall phone before furiously typing the number he knows by memory.
First ring. Silence.
Second ring. Silence.
Third ri—
The other side picks up.
He drops the unruly curls of his crown against the plywood wall. “Oh, thank fuck.”
“Eddie?”
He clutches both hands against the phone, angling himself away from the company in the living room to focus solely on the way you say his voice.
Melodic, like a hazy, eye-of-the-storm dream in-between a slew of nightmares.
“Hey, yeah, it’s me,” he responds as his eyes flutter closed. “Hey. Holy fuck, I missed your voice.”
“You sound strange,” you murmur on the other end, and he swallows thickly. “Is everything okay?” 
. . . . . . .
You remember how terrified he sounded on the phone.
“Things got really fucked up here,” he croaks on the other line, causing you to leap out of your dorm bed with the phone line following.
“How fucked up, Ed?” you ask with a purposeful yank on the mustard-colored jacket hanging up on your wall.
“I don’t even know how to explain it to you without sounding like I’m losing my mind.”
“Try me,” you challenge.
He sighs on the other end, shifting the phone. “Has it been on the news?”
“Has what been on the news?”
“The whole… fuck, the whole Satanic cult shit with Hellfire?”
You pause, standing still in an empty room. “Hellfire? Something happened with Hellfire Club?”
“Chrissy Cunningham’s dead, kiddo,” Eddie supplies. His vocals strain against the syllables of her last name. “I saw it happen, but it wasn’t me. I swear, it wasn’t — Nancy Wheeler saw Fred Benson die, too, and things keeps happening—”
“Hold on.” Your stomach bottoms out as you interrupt in a cautious, small blurt. “You saw it happen?”
Eddie sighs, distorting the other end of the phone line. “I don't really have much time to explain, but yeah. I saw it happen. Something took her, alright? Something demonic, a Vecna’s curse-type shit, and I needed to call you because we’re going after it. I know this sounds insane, because I didn’t want to believe it, but when you’re kinda wanted for murder you don’t really have a choice—”
“You said ‘we’,” you interrupt again, swallowing the lump in your throat. “When you say ‘we’, do you mean the Hellfire Club is—”
“No. Fuck, I mean, kind of? Henderson and Sinclair and his sister are in the living room. And — get this, you’ll have a laugh — your old pal Steve Harrington’s sitting pretty on the couch.“
“Steve?”
Someone you once trusted. Someone you knew, before you high-tailed it out of town for school. From what you remember, he stayed behind to work the local stores after graduation. Not many people ever leave.
(Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson being friendly was never on your Hawkins Bingo card.)
“Yeah. For all the shit I used to give ‘em, he’s one tough son of a bitch. But listen, I gotta go. I just…” Eddie draws in a slow inhale from his nose, exhaling through his mouth. “...I needed to hear your voice again just in case this goes south. Sucks I can’t see you, but this is better than nothing. Thanks for indulging me.”
“Eddie?”
Click.
And just like that, Eddie Munson is gone.
(You refuse to let that be the final say in this conversation.)
Leaving behind your homework and study for a pair of keys and sneakers, you burst from your dorm room and run down the hallway to the stairs, to the student parking lot, and beeline to your car.
Hawkins is a two hour drive.
If you double the speed limit down the interstate highway, then you can make it in half the time.
Nerve endings set ablaze as your mind repeats the bizarre phone conversation like a broken record — demonic happenings killing students, Hellfire Club framed, seeing someone die in a gruesome fashion — but nothing adds up. How the hell did Steve Harrington get involved in all of this? Was Nancy Wheeler a part of the plan, too? Was this a bad trip with Gareth, or was seriously something wrong back home?
Nearly cutting off half a dozen cars to get to the Hawkins exit, it takes flooring two red lights to get to the trailer park where Eddie Munson and his uncle live.
You immediately notice two familiar cars: Steve’s, just on the roadway leading to the park, and Nancy’s, right outside of Max Mayfield's trailer.
The sound of a car screeching to a halt in the grass causes the front door to fly wide open, where two kids peer out with wide eyes.
You vaguely know of Dustin Henderson and Lucas Sinclair from how eager Eddie is to talk about his new Hellfire recruits. The descriptions match, with Lucas’ wide-eye stare and Dustin’s growing, excited smile.
“Eddie!” he screams, stomping his foot several times into the floor. "You gotta get out here, dude!"
The outburst summons several more faces in various states of confusion and height: Max Mayfield, the step-sister of the late Billy Hargrove, shoves Dustin out of the way to get a peek. Robin Buckley, Steve’s Scoops Ahoy co-worker, is the next to stand a foot above the rest.
Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington follow suit, both littered with dirt and blood and equally surprised expressions.
You slam the car door shut, exiting the driver’s side door to stare back without any real explanation in mind.
The last to arrive is Eddie, who comically pushes Steve by the shoulder in order to stand on his landing in perfect view of the newcomer in question. Eddie looks like he’s been through hell and back: his Hellfire Club staple raglan shirt is dirtied, hair matted, with dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
Until he sees you, really sees you, and a lifetime of sorrow is lifted from his expression.
He bolts.
Skipping all three stairs to the dirt, he falters in landing but propels straight forward like a linebacker towards you. You take two steps to meet him, but Eddie Munson scoops you high into his arms in a twirl, holding you like he’s afraid you'll disappear like a ghost.
“Holy shit,” he murmurs into your shoulder, his palm cradling the back of your head. “Holy shit, holy shit, please tell me you didn’t—”
“Drive?” you ask breathlessly. “Two hours to get here? More like one. I may be wanted for speeding in two states.”
“Are you insane?” he replies, voice cracking. He sets you down to give you a once-over of disbelief. You hold his face palms on either side to steady the manic shock. “You’re not supposed to be here. It isn’t safe here.”
“You said you were in trouble.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t mean you end up in trouble right along with me.”
You shake your head, leaning your cheek into his palm as he moves to cradle your face close. Forehead to forehead, it feels like it’s the first time he’s taken a breath, a real breath, in maybe days. It’s scary to think so much has happened in your absence.
“You made me an honorary Hellfire Club member, remember?” you remind under your breath, a murmur, to keep it between the two of you. “You don’t get to do whatever this is alone.”
“You have no clue what you’re signing up for,” he warns, closing his eyes at the scent of your perfume. “Please, go home.”
“Munson!”
The sound of Steve Harrington’s voice carries as he drops down the front stairs of the trailer, walking barefoot and worse for wear in the grass. Around his middle is makeshift dressing, broad chest shirtless and speckled with hair.
He’s wearing Eddie’s Dio denim vest.
(What the hell happened to all of them?)
“I’m going to ignore whatever it is I just witnessed, alright, and say we should get inside.” Steve’s hair flops as he regards you with a smile, small and warm. “Hey. Long time no see.”
“Right back at you,” you reply breathlessly. “You look like shit.”
“Feel like shit,” he quips in return. “But, hey, I never made shit look so good.”
You laugh with your own tiny smile. “Glad you’re still the same Steve.”
Eddie finally lets go, gesturing to your car. “Harrington, tell her she shouldn’t be here. Maybe she’ll listen to you.”
Steve makes a face, lips pulling downwards. “Nah, I don’t think she’s ever listened to me, man. Not in school, not in life, not ever.”
“And we need the numbers!”
Robin shuffles out of the trailer, her gangly limbs waving a quick hello. Her vocal fry returns as she sheepishly motions to you.
“I mean, we… are one person down on Dustin and Eddie’s distraction team. Nine people, instead of eight. Three teams of three. It works.”
“Robin’s right,” Nancy confirms with her own subdued, honey-lemon tone. Her arms are crossed over her chest, shirt mangled and torn and matching the fabric around Steve’s torso. Nancy holds up a hand with a mouthed ‘hello’ to you. You mirror the softness of the greeting.
“Okay, but what about Eddie?” Eddie says, rubbing the bangs on his forehead. “Does Eddie get a say about how batshit it would be to bring anyone else into this insane asylum mission?”
“Three is better than two,” Nancy apologetically disagrees. “We don’t have El, we’re running low on time, and she’s willing to at least hear us out.”
You nod once, leaving Eddie’s side to decidedly make your way to the trailer despite the sounds of protests he makes by your car. 
“Just fill me in on what’s happening,” you tell them. “I’ll see what I can do.”
The group of seven remaining at the door all turn inward, leaving an air of uncertainty with them.
. . . . . . . .
Vecna’s curse. Clock chimes and nightmares. Demogorgons. Demobats. 
The Upside Down.
End of the world type of shit, according to Max. She wasn’t kidding.
You sit between Erica and Lucas as the adults of the group explain the last few years of what Hawkins has had to offer: how the disappearances of several students of the years, and the death of Billy Hargrove, weren’t mere accidents. 
Everything was connected.
Everything in this town, this never-ending Hawkins curse, finally began making sense.
To your right, Eddie stands in the corner of the Mayfield living room. He’s white as a sheet and grief stricken when Nancy reaches the part where he comes in: how Chrissy Cunningham died on his very ceiling with her limbs mangled and eyeballs carved from their sockets. How the town blamed Eddie and went on a town-wide manhunt in Chrissy’s name against him.
How he hid in a boat house without a means of escape.
Now it makes sense why you hadn’t heard from him in days.
You finally speak up once the room simmers to silence, the tale coming to a close. “So you… managed to get into the Upside Down and get back to Hawkins?”
“Yes,” Nancy responds. “That’s… where we are in the plan right now. The only way this ends is if we go back in and kill him.”
“You mean Vecna?”
“Yeah,” Steve answers for Nancy, running a hand through his floppy hair. “Kind of our only option at this point so we can make sure Max doesn’t… y’know. Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” the redhead pipes up from the corner, fiddling with her cassette player at her hip. “He means so I don’t become his fourth victim. Everything’s happening in fours, so… makes sense that I’m still marked.“
“But we’re going to figure out how to kill him,” Lucas reassures with soft sincerity.
Steve pushes his index finger into the map where the red ‘X’ covers a drawing of a house. “Nancy, Robin, and I will be going to the house to kill Vecna. Erica and Lucas will stay with Max to ensure the bait plan stays that way.”
He blinks up at you, chewing the inside of his cheek with contemplation.
“Dustin and Eddie are a distraction in the Upside Down.”
“Which is why she’d be safer with one of you,” Eddie finally pipes up as he chews on his ring fingernail, staring intently at the map from a distance.
“I know I’m taking a crash course in Hawkins 101, here,” you start, rubbing your palms gently against the thighs of your denim jeans, “but I feel better if I went with you and Dustin, Ed.”
“And we have extra weapons!” Robin pipes up with forced excitement. “Well — we will have extra. See? Extra hands all around, it’s a great thing.”
“It’s not.” Morose, Eddie shakes his head.
You watch him for a minute, assessing and reassessing the news, before glancing back at Steve.
“Will… fighting this thing clear Eddie’s name?”
“Maybe?” Steve replies honestly. “That’s the goal. Kill Vecna, set things right. It’ll be… it’ll be a tough sell, but we have to try. Only other option is to let Hawkins cave in on itself.”
Max shifts awkwardly against the wall, fixing her headphones strapped around the back of her neck.
“Then I’m in.”
“Hey—” 
Eddie removes himself from the corner to protest, but you lock eyes and shake your head.
He stops dead in his tracks, shoulders deflating with each passing breath at your determination.
“You need a third.” You glance around the room. “I’m your third.”
. . . . . . . . .
By the time you all return from the weapons and ammo store, the stolen mobile trailer finds its way parked in the outskirts of the park — not quite where it was hot wired, but close enough to feel familiar. 
One by one, everyone files out and into the open field for their preparation stations.
Dustin drags Eddie off to make shields worthy of their campaign before you can ever say a thing. Erica and Lucas do their own thing with spears and leather in hand, while Nancy and Max take a spot to the far east to get to work on the shotgun modifications.
It leaves you with Robin, who already set up a spot at the mobile trailer to make homemade Molotov cocktails.
(Absolutely nothing to worry about.)
You’re in the midst of creating an inventory sheet when a tap on the shoulder surprises you from behind. Steve, still a dirty mess but at least covered by a new long-sleeved shirt and jacket, waggles his eyebrows in your vicinity.
“So… this is weird.”
“What is?” you ask, placing the pencil down on what little surface you had to write.
“Seeing you, of all people, in Hawkins again. You actually managed to get the hell out of here.”
“That was always the plan, Harrington. Wasn’t it yours?”
“Eh,” Steve scoffs, waving a hand. “I got a job at Starcourt… then Starcourt burned down because — well, now you know why — and then I just kinda… stuck around. What’s college like?”
“Peaceful,” you joke, placing your hands on your hips. “When you don’t have a sorority sister as a roommate, it’s very peaceful.”
“So what you’re really saying is: boring. I missed nothing at all. Gotcha.” Steve rocks on the balls of his feet. “Miss Valedictorian of ‘85 herself, in the flesh.”
“Oh, God, stop. Not the Valedictorian thing. It really didn’t make much of a difference, by the way, so studying all the time was for the birds.”
“Uh-huh. Still, I can’t believe you risked a speeding ticket for two hours to get here,” Steve teases, suppressing a smirk. “I didn’t think you knew how to break the law.”
You snort, leaning over to bump your arm with his. “Yeah, well, I don’t have to think to know Eddie would probably do the same for me.”
“Still, it’s ballsy. Where was this version of Vale-’85 when I knew you back in high school?”
“Oh, she was always there, Hair Harrington,” you grin as you watch Dustin follow Eddie’s lead in the field, pounding nails into the back of a metal trash can. “I guess you just do crazy things when you’re—” 
Stop.
You freeze before you can finish the sentence, instead squaring your shoulders and trailing silent. Dustin dive bombs into Eddie with a cackling laugh, leading to Eddie hugging the little freshman into his side with adoration.
“Hey, I get it.”
Steve speaks up beside you, forcing you to turn to your left. He glances at you through his peripheral, giving a one-shoulder shrug. 
“Trust me, I get it way more than you think.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. We don’t have to talk about it.”
He swallows a lump in his throat, shifting in his stance to briefly look to his right. Belated you follow where it lands on Max Mayfield and Nancy Wheeler hovering over a crate, sawing off the barrels of shotguns.
I get it.
Maybe he does.
For a while, it’s like this: silent while the rest of the crew prepares their weapons, talking and bantering amongst themselves. Dustin and Eddie play their own version of in-person Dungeons & Dragons in the field, laughing to the sky. 
If he hadn’t looked so petrified just a few short hours ago, then maybe you’d forget why you were even here.
(Why any of you are here, in this field, preparing for war you've only learned about hours ago.)
You lean closer to Steve, debating on your next question. “Are the odds good, Harrington?”
Jaw clenched, he rips his eyes from the two girls modifying weapons to look down at you. You press on. 
“I mean it honestly: is fighting this Vecna person a pipe dream, or do you guys really believe this is possible?”
Steve waits, kicking a pebble of dirt with his newly-bought boot. “We’re kind of all Hawkins has left. And if I can do something about it? Then I won’t let this son of a bitch take anyone else.”
Your heart skips a beat when Eddie turns from his embrace with Dustin to search — until his eyes land on you. His shoulders drop in relief as his smile remains.
It’s Steve’s turn, now, to lean over in a murmur into your ear so the rest can’t hear.
“I know this isn’t my place, because I was today year’s old when I found out you had a thing for Munson — which, if we come out of this fight in one piece, then we’re gonna talk about that, but… I think if you were going to have any sort of talk? Now might be a good time to do it.”
“Calm before the storm?” you add, returning the smile in Eddie’s direction despite the heaviness of the conversation at the present.
“Something like that.” Steve nudges you with his elbow. “I’ll keep watch on Dustin-o. You just do what you gotta do.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Got any speeches you wanna workshop before you dive head-first into some Upside Down hellscape?”
Steve snorts, waving you off. “Oh, way ahead of you. But we’ll get there when we get there. For now? You first.”
You first.
Yeah, there’s a lot here with not enough time to say it.
Once Eddie squints towards you, you jut your chin up and to the left where there are woods. Woods that you’ve frequented with him before in late-night meetings. Trees that have seen things, heard promises — what’s one more?
Eddie pauses, makeshift shield in hand, and tilts his head in response. You jut your chin twice to the left — woods, Munson — before he gets it: lightbulb turned on, he shuffles his shield to Dustin Henderson with a hasty goodbye.
Dustin raises his arms and drops them with disappointment, but you don’t get to see how the conversation plays out when you disappear into the wooded area.
Waiting.
“Harrington bothering you, angel?”
Angel. The nickname could melt your heart.
When you turn, Eddie Munson appears around a tree. Meeting you in the small circle of trees far enough to keep this conversation private, he still looks like the skittish little boy you met the first week of school all those years ago. 
His hands are lodged into the back pockets of his denim jeans, eyes curious yet apprehensive. He still has spots of dirt all over his clothes — not nearly as bad as Harrington, yet enough to make you worry.
All this time.
All this time and you didn’t know he’d been in this much trouble.
“You two were talking an awful long time over there,” he adds, tilting his head with an unspoken question: wanna talk about it?
You shake your head. “Just old friends catching up. You… sort of surprised him with the whole PDA-thing outside your house.”
“Well you surprised me. I didn’t really have time to, uh, plot a course of suave action.” Eddie’s smile drops as he takes another step to minimize the distance between you. “You can leave, you know.”
“Ed—”
“Let me fin-ish,” he warns in a sing-song tone. “No one is going to fault you for hearing about a psychotic, telepathic Freddie-demon and wanting to go right back to college. I’d feel better, actually, if you did. Run, I mean. I’ll drive you back to your car right now.”
“There’s no way I’m going back now that I know that there are literally demon bats.”
“Seriously? That’s the first reason I would be high-tailing the hell out of here.”
“You’ve seen one?”
“Chyeah, I’ve seen one. Absolutely… fucking terrifying,” Eddie admits with a breathless laugh. “You got out of Hawkins, sweetheart. Like properly, actually, got to leave and—”
“My home’s still here, Eddie.”
There is a heaviness to your double-meaning confession that takes Eddie a second to recognize, but when he does?
His puppy eyes round in disbelief, taking one small step at a time towards you. Your nose scrunches to avoid the passing emotions from overwhelming you. 
“If I had known about anyone calling you a murderer? Eddie, I would have ran home sooner.”
“I didn’t have any way to call—”
“And you’re fucking insane if you think I’m going to abandon you while you’re… gearing up like you’re Rambo to kill these things—”
“Wait.”
“—and there is so much I’ve wanted to tell you since I met you and the fact that I see Nancy Wheeler sawing off the barrel of a shotgun with my own two eyes makes me feel like I really need to set a few things straight, and I need to tell you—”
Eddie crosses towards you in three great strides, before pulling your head in with both hands. He presses a searing, desperate kiss to your lips, effectively dissolving your panic.
Clawing your hands into his hair, you pull him impossibly close. The force of him pushing into you knocks you back, barreling the both of you straight against a tree. Eddie pins you there, teeth grazing your lower lip with a sense of urgency.
“I can’t believe you’re really here,” he breathes against your mouth, left hand dropping to wrap around the base of your neck before diving back in to kiss you.
You rake your nails against his scalp, earning a whimper along your lips. “Wasn’t leaving you.”
“You need to.”
“Eddie, let me say this—”
“No.”
He lets go of your face and neck to place both hands on your shoulders, pinning you to the trunk of the tree. His matted, curly bangs fall forward until his headache presses to yours. Eddie’s eyes squeeze shut in his plea.
“Please don’t say something like we’re at the end of a… terrible fucking action movie where this is a goodbye. This isn't Rambo. I can’t let it be a goodbye, and I won’t run, but I refuse to let this be it.”
His eyes finally open, observing yours. Memorizing yours.
“Look, I’m not a hero. I’m never the hero, okay? I run, I always do—”
“—you’ve never run from me.”
Your interruption falters his shame, allowing the silence to envelop the forest surrounding you.
“Even when we were placed in different classes. Even when things were weird at Snowball. Even when I told you I was leaving Hawkins. Do you know the first thing you said to me when I told you I wasn’t staying in town?” 
You allow a pause, but Eddie doesn’t dare speak.
“You said you’d run to me. You’d follow me up to state college. And you did. No one visits me like you do. No one makes the effort like you do. And we could say fuck Hawkins, but what are you doing instead? Fighting for them?”
His fingertips tremble against your shoulders.
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” he mumbles, regretting every word.
“People who run don’t care about the right thing to do, Eddie. Never did. You always try to be polite, to be kind, even when people are kind in return.” You brush wayward strands of hair from his face. “That is brave. That is heroic.”
And for what feels like hours, Eddie stands there, eyes downcast. Processing what you said, what you believe, when so many refuse to see beyond the unruly hair, chains, and metal skulls.
He never feels worthy.
You hate that he never feels worthy.
Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, holding it for a beat, before exhaling his resolve.
“Promise me that when we get back, princess, that you’ll let me tell you everything I’ve ever wanted to say to your face. I need to earn my little bat slayer wings, earn you, and if you confess shit here and now? I may not go.”
He drops a small kiss to your forehead, dragging you in for a tight embrace. You reciprocate, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
He doesn’t need to earn you. He needs to know he’s never needed to earn you.
“But I’m not holding back, alright?” he murmurs into your hair. “We do the plan, I shred, we get the hell out of there, and I just… Fuck, I’ll tell you whatever you want, just not before we go back up there. Deal?”
You want to protest, but he presses his lips back to yours. Gentle this time, like he’s found his footing back on solid ground. You want to tell get everything off your chest before the final clock bell chimes, but it’s his only request.
(Let me earn you.)
After this is over, he’ll learn it was always the opposite way around.
You nod into the kiss, pulling away to reply.
“Deal.”
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tanith-rhea · 9 months
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That I may be weak with you
"Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test." - Alain de Botton Dorothea Delilah Darcy is a woman in her mid to late twenties, struggling to find her place in the world. A recent job opportunity as a guidance counsellor at Nevermore Academy seems like a godsend, and she could not miss it for the life of her. Still, perhaps more problems will arise than she expected. Between bubbly, extroverted students and an uncharacteristically reactive principal, she'll be forced to overcome the limitations of her abilities or separate herself entirely from the place she'll grow to call home.
Author's note: this is... something that I'm willing to share at the moment. I hope you like it, it certainly is more of an indulgence on my part than anything else. This and Honey, You're a Keeper are what's keeping me sane lately (although more fantasizing about both the stories than writing them)
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Chapter One
"There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship" — Franz Kafka
You never thought you would someday get the chance to go to Nevermore. Being home-schooled was very common for kids in your community, and the boarding high school experience seemed to you like one of those unachievable dreams you only read about in the countless novels in your library.
You ended up not going, of course. At least not as a student. Now you approached the Nevermore gates in a car driven by a charming middle-aged man responsible for maintaining the campus surroundings nifty and, apparently, chauffeuring new professors.
A soft drizzle cast everything in a foggish autumnal setting. The term would begin in a week, so true autumn wasn't very far away, but the contrast with your parents' house was welcomed; it reminded you of Belfast, only warmer and sealess.
"What do you think, Ser Barnabas?" you petted the dark-grey tabby in your lap, "Will they be able to help us?"
"What was that, Miss?" the driver asked amicably.
"Oh! Nothing, Mr Duch, sorry to disturb you."
"Nonsense, girl, you've been nothing but nice the entire trip," he turned the car left and you saw the castle beyond the trees "We're here."
Nevermore Academy was a castle-like boarding school for teenage outcasts to learn how to control and develop their powers as well as a myriad of other subjects. You would do something along those lines, you would help them with their troubles. As it appears, their count had gone up considerably since last semester.
The building itself was a gorgeous piece of architecture. You remembered studying similar structures while going over the Gothic movement in college almost seven years ago but looking at pictures was never the same as visiting a cathedral. It certainly was not the same as stepping out of the car to a fairy-tale courtyard and mystical-looking archways. The grandiosity of the place brought you the nostalgia of reading The Secret Garden for the first time; childish curiosity meets fantastical hidden marvel.
"Everything was strange and silent and she seemed to be hundreds of miles away from anyone..."
"But somehow she did not feel lonely at all," someone interrupted your mumbling in a soft, amicable tone.
A tall blond approached you by the car, dressed in a long-sleeved, cream-coloured dress. She was easily a foot taller than you and quite intimidating, but contrary to her height, her warm blue eyes only invited you in. You felt a surge of emotion in your chest and slightly panicked at the thought of having an episode then and there, and out of nowhere too. You were certain no one was touching you, and you knew none of the people around you personally.
"Are you all right?" the beautiful woman asked, and a small crease appeared between her brows. She went to touch your arm, but you quickly composed yourself and stepped away to deposit Ser Barnabas on the ground.
"I'm quite all right, yes!" you tried to smile, "I was only surprised you knew Ms Hogson's words."
"Hardly an uncommon read," Ser Barnabas went to her and walked between her legs, rubbing on her quite uncharacteristically.
"But you knew them exactly, Pride and Prejudice is not an uncommon read and yet most people won't be able to quote it if asked."
"Quite the debater, I see, but you do have a point," she arched one perfectly designed eyebrow at you "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Darcy, I'm Larissa Weems, the principal of Nevermore Academy," she held her hand out to you and of course you were being unnecessarily prickly to the one person that could fire you and send you away at any time.
"Oh, my, I'm so sorry!" you hastily recovered from your previous scare, putting on a well-practised mask of serenity, "We only talked through e-mails so I'm afraid I didn't recognize you," you took her hand confidently "I didn't realise you would be meeting me quite so soon."
"I prefer to give the tour myself to any new staff member. I believe it to be a good bonding opportunity," she smiled easily. She was so effortlessly gracious, you had to admit leadership suited her like her obviously tailored dress.
You tugged on your glove ends to distract yourself from her overwhelming warmth and turned to look at the kind gentleman that brought you there, "Mr Duch, could you open the truck for me? I'd like to bring my things along to save time."
"Oh, don't worry, darling. I'll ask some of the staff to do that for you. You can go, Mr Duch, and have a rest before getting back to work, I believe Philomena made hot chocolate about half an hour ago and there still might have some."
"Thank you, principal, have a good day," the man left through a side pathway and quickly was out of view beyond the archways.
You were left with the imposing figure, and there wasn't much you could do aside from accompanying her. Somehow, she made you more nervous than you anticipated. Meeting new people was always a complicated ordeal, but with Principal Weems the hairs on your arms seemed more charged than usual as if her energy already knew you, which was impossible.
Ser Barnabas, the traitor, was nowhere to be seen. After nuzzling her ankles, he just skipped away to explore. You were relieved she didn't seem to realize or mind your cat's affections, after all, pets could not be prohibited but it didn't mean other co-workers or your boss had to like yours.
"I'll show you your private accommodations and we'll have a look around the school. Your office is near the astronomy tower, just before the Desdemona Hall communal area."
Your rooms consisted of a large bedroom and office area with an adjoining bathroom equipped with a bathtub and separate shower space. It was similar to what your last place of employment offered, but the stone walls and gothic feel were an entirely different level of appeal.
The principal showed you the dining area, the quad — which was a pentagon — the teacher's breakroom and your own classroom. The rest she said you'd be quickly acquainted with during the next few weeks. She explained some basic rules of the academy and advised you to be cautious of students trying to trick you into giving them a Jericho pass, especially Ophelia Hall girls. You found it all quite simple to understand, but that was only when you could actually concentrate on what the woman was telling you and not the movement of her lips forming words.
She had a very articulate way of expressing herself, something expected from someone in such a position of power, but it was understandably charming accompanied by her melodic accent, low voice and powerful stance. She commanded discipline by simply being.
"I hope to see you very soon, Miss Darcy," the woman concluded with a winning smile, "Dinner is served at seven-thirty, as I already told you. If you would like to dine out, please notify Mr Duch before five and transportation back is on you," she nodded one final time before turning on her heels and walking down the corridor.
You surveyed your office once more. Now that you were alone, a sense of calm finally made its way to your bones. Being near other people wasn't unpleasant most of the time, but the principal seemed to have a particularly powerful presence and keeping yourself in check all the time while paying attention to her was exhausting. Not that you paid all that much attention to her, instead just ogling like a creep.
Your files were already organized in the first drawer of your desk; all the documents you sent through e-mails to the school board were printed and put together in a leather cover binder. Very aesthetically pleasing and organized. You loved whoever did that for taking their time to sort through everything so carefully.
Leaving the office behind, you went back to your rooms for a shower and change of clothes. Ser Barnabas somehow was inside, sleeping atop a suitcase as if he was protecting your belongings.
"Someone had a busy hour," you scratched behind his ear and he stretched, meowing for being woken up.
You unpacked and put your things away in drawers and armoires, leaving Ser Barnabas' teacup by the enormous arched window overlooking the quad for him to hydrate whenever he deemed necessary — sometimes you were convinced he drank mentally because the water would disappear and he would be sleeping in the exact same position as the one before you left — before having a long-awaited shower.
You didn't go to dinner that day, deciding on a series of one-person games of draughts before bed.
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twilight-deviant · 8 months
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Pompous Pep Week - Day 5: Age Swap
This is over a week late, but I finished it, which is a win to me. xD
My thoughts on this universe of teen Vlad and adult Danny...
Vlad is a teenage boy constantly trying to appeal to his crush, Maddie, though she seems to have eyes for their friend Jack. The three still have a ghost portal accident like they did in college, occurring earlier in life due to more available technology in the modern age of 2004. A little less unstable as well, no ecto-acne.
Vlad, still a victim of Jack's impulsiveness, hides his emerging ghost powers as he figures them out. He does not yet have the crooked notion to use them robbing banks and getting rich.
One day, while in his ghost form, he encounters and defeats a low-level ghost. Maddie and Jack happen to observe and find it fascinating. Maddie thinks the winning ghost is strong and remarkable, worth studying further. This leads Vlad down a hole of instigating more fights with ghosts to impress her, with eventual plans to reveal his true identity. When he can't get fights going organically, he begins bribing ghosts into it or summoning them with ghost tech/magic, unmindful of all the collateral damage caused by these battles. Over time, he devolves further into wanton damage and cruelty to the losing ghosts.
Enter Danny Phantom, a (formerly retired) ghost hero who can't ignore the new influx of ghosts and what this new ghost boy is getting up to. Plot twist? Turns out he's half-ghost too... and Maddie's father. (No, obviously he's not also Jack's father. lol.) Their introduction is a battle, one which Vlad swiftly loses, causing him to transform back human. [See above art]
Danny is shocked to meet another half-ghost (and it's his daughter's friend!) and tries to take Vlad under his wing, teach him how to use his powers. Naturally, Vlad fights the implication he needs help— and fights Danny too. They become unfortunate enemies, with Danny constantly torn over the question if it's okay to hit a kid. Haha. But the boy is being evil! He at least needs a time-out.
I imagine parts of canon plot still transpire. Things like Vlad researching the Ghost Zone for ways to become more powerful but it backfiring, leading to him running to Danny for help. Danny always assists, but he rarely receives a thank you.
On a personal level, Maddie can't understand why Vlad hates her dad. Meanwhile, Danny has to watch the very apparent tragedy of Vlad having a crush on Maddie, knowing she likes Jack. He can't give advice or suggest Vlad look elsewhere for love because the teen bites his head off anytime he tries to help him. None of it will end well.
For Danny's backstory, it can't transpire along canon lines with an accident in his parents' lab. I therefore decided he received his powers through magic and the occult over science. And we can blame Sam for that. Haha. When the Satanic Panic of the 80s/90s hit, she rebelled even harder against her parents and bought every dark tome and trinket she could find. Yes, this led to her summoning a portal to the Ghost Zone, and yes, Danny was caught in a reaction when the portal destabilized.
After half-dying and becoming infused with ghostly aura, Danny worked to develop his powers and stop any ghosts who made their way into the human world. I imagine that, like a Ouija board without a goodbye, the portal is open (sometimes in various locations) until they realize to close it properly. This actually takes years for them to do. In that time, Danny likes to play that he's a hero. (Ooh, fun to imagine things like meeting Ember when she was still alive.) But eventually, they did close the portal and the need for his heroics... ended.
Eventually, he and Sam got married. They had a daughter. They got divorced. (It's complicated~) If you want to ask how they have a red-headed child, go look at Sam's parents again and discuss with me whether her hair really is naturally black. Hmm.......... Also maybe they have another, older daughter named Jazz. Hahaha.
If it's necessary to pick a day job for adult Danny, he still wanted to be an astronaut. Especially with an adjusted timeline and him being alive during the thrill of the moon landing. Unfortunately, the program required incredibly thorough medical examinations, something his half-ghost biology could never pass without serious questions. So he did the next best thing with all that training. He's an airplane pilot. Flying comes pretty easy to him, after all.
He retired from ghost hunting. But also lately there seem to be new ghosts showing up in town?
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foxy-eva · 2 years
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Spencer Reid NSFW Masterlist
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Find my Spencer Reid Kink Collection here
Find my Dom!Spencer Masterlist here
Find my Christmas Collection here
Smut & Fluff Series
26 Things: 4-part series about Spencer Reid helping Fem!Reader check off everything on her bucket list - even the explicit things
Smut & Fluff Oneshots
Elixir: Studies suggest that orgasms help relieve pain. Fem!Reader tests that theory when Spencer has a headache
Snow Angel: Fem!Reader really knows how to get Spencer in a festive mood
Prom Night: After everyone shared their sad (or non-existent) prom stories, Penelope decided to host a BAU Prom Night, giving Spencer the perfect excuse to finally ask Fem!Reader out.
Stress Relief: When Fem!Reader complains about back pain, Spencer offers a massage. Things escalate.
Nude Beach: Fem!Reader finally convinces Spencer to go to the beach with her. Turns out it's a nude beach.
Slippery Slope: Spencer slips in the shower, his roommate comes to the rescue
Only Yours: After getting jealous at work Spencer Reid reminds Fem!Reader who she belong to
Lavender & Lace: Spencer didn't know how much fun going shopping with his girlfriend would be
Temptation: Your new skirt is too tempting for Spencer to resist
Novelty: Spencer guides Fem!Reader through a night full of firsts
Play Time: Spencer is curious about a very interesting toy Fem!Reader ordered
Stripped Bare: After a mishap at work Spencer and Fem!Reader end up in the shower together - things get heated
Careful Whisper: It's very hard to keep quiet when Spencer visits you in your hotel room at night
Lipstick Stains: The shade of your new lipstick is too much for Spencer to handle
Call Me: Spencer discovers new ways to feel close to his girlfriend while working on a case
Sunday Morning: Spencer really enjoys Sunday mornings with his girlfriend
Christmas Spirit: Spencer and his girlfriend are in a festive mood
Honeymoon: Spencer and his wife are excited about their future (and their honeymoon)
Keeping You Warm: Spencer and his girlfriend find the best way to warm up after enjoying the first snow in the backyard of their new house
Lucky Number: When Spencer and his girlfriend run into Elle years after she left the FBI, they quickly realize that there's an undeniable tension between them that begs to be released
Moving Day: Moving is stressful but Spencer finds the best way to unwind together with Fem!Reader
Daring & Decent: After getting teased about his girlfriend’s profession, Spencer feels insecure and needs her to show him that he is everything she needs
Movie Night: Spencer didn’t know that having a movie night was a synonym for having a make-out session with Fem!Reader but he sure didn’t mind
Beach Day: Spencer hates going to the beach but can't get enough of seeing Fem!Reader in a swimsuit
A Remedy for Rivalry: Spencer decides to put his rival in her place after she got cocky about her academic achievements
Summer in the City: Having a roommate who decided it was too hot to wear clothes suddenly made the heatwave much more tolerable for Spencer
Ever Expanding: Spencer and his wife decide it's time to expand their family
Behind Closed Doors: It feels like time stands still when Fem!Reader is inside Spencer’s arms, until someone comes to remind them about the world outside of his apartment
Bound Together: Spencer Reid has a very pleasant surprise for Fem!Reader
Teaching & Teasing: While being stuck in a room with Fem!Reader, Spencer Reid is eager to learn everything she is willing to teach him
(Don't) Wake Me: When Spencer Reid learns that he shares a kink with Fem!Reader, he finds a special way to wake her
Preciously Pure: Things seem to change between Spencer Reid and Fem!Reader once she mentions her innocence
Closer: When Spencer Reid comes home after being gone for too long he and Fem!Reader can’t wait to feel each other as close as possible
Second Time’s a Charm: Back in college Spencer Reid and Fem!Reader left many things unsaid. Years later they give it another try.
In Full Bloom: A random interaction between Spencer Reid and Fem!Reader leads to weeks of longing and yearning until they decide they have spent enough time being strangers
Nice & Naughty: Fem!Reader has been a very good girl this year which is why Spencer Reid spoils her in every way he knows on Christmas Eve
Heart On My Sleeve: Spencer Reid is entranced by the look of Fem!Reader wearing the sweater he knit as a Christmas present
Washed Away: Spencer Reid knows exactly how to help Fem!Reader unwind after a stressful day
Smut & Angst Oneshots:
Duet: Letting the love of his life get away was Spencer’s biggest regret, so he decides to go after her
Purple Dress: Spencer Reid and Fem!Reader have a friends-with-benefits agreement. When he tries to end it, she puts on an alluring purple dress to seduce him.
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