#but seriously tho i’m fucking crazy i need comfort and my life is barren

[daedra-altcunningham]

i feel... really shitty

#i’m ugly #i hate myself #i wanna die #give me $200 #but seriously tho i’m fucking crazy i need comfort and my life is barren

[theworldaccordingtojess]

Musings of a half asleep Jess

Just thoughts.

These are things that have popped into my head as I’ve traveled and I don’t have good enough WiFi for a picture post, so enjoy these Jess thoughts.

Excuse my language, I feel like Europeans have brought out my cursing side a lot. Or tired Jess curses a lot. Who knows.

1. English as the lengua Franca is so wild. And I can’t explain how fortunate I feel that English was my first language. It doesn’t matter where I travel, people know English. I never have to learn another language or try to speak in another’s native tongue if I don’t want to, because EVERYONE SPEAKS ENGLISH. At my hostels, I regularly hear two people from countries that are not English speaking, speak to each other in English. Neither of these people are that comfortable with the language or even know it that well, but it’s how they can communicate. How crazy is that? I have weird feelings of guilt associated with this, probably because of why and how it became the common language.

2. Trains. How cool are trains? Why do little boys love trains and everyone else pretends like they aren’t totally cool and badass? THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS OF TRAINS. As an American, I don’t think I valued trains or understood how hella cool they are until I traveled Europe. Trains are amazing. They can go so fast!! They are some of the only places in Europe with “free” toilets!! They are charming and characteristic of the country they serve!! I love trains, they are so comfy and I feel like I’m in an Agatha Christie novel, fingers crossed for no murders.

3. Powers who have conquered and lost those lands. When people from major colonial powers travel places, do they think, “this used to be ours”? Like when brits go pretty much anywhere or french people go to certain parts of Canada, do they reflect on the fact that those places exist as they do because of their country? And do they reflect on how and why they are no longer a part of their country? Does it bum them out to think about how powerful their country once was and how relatively insignificant their country is now? I mean the sun DEFINITELY sets on the British empire these days.

4. Everything is more beautiful with snow. I think that’s an accepted fact of life. If you don’t agree with me, sorry, you’re wrong, as I just stated, it’s a fact. But the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world (other than Amsterdam, probably) is snow on trees or a forest blanketed in snow. Honest to god (or the universe or whatever), any tree with snow. Barren trees without leaves, conifers covered in needles, dying trees, healthy trees, invasive species, tiny little trees and giant monster trees—they ALL look better with snow on their branches. Don’t fight me on this, I will physically and/or metaphorically kick your ass over it, I’m dead serious about this tree + snow thing.

5. Languages are so beautiful and so varied and unique. All languages are beautiful. Except french, I hate that french is considered some beautiful love language when the sound they make for ‘r’ sounds like a cat trying to cough up a hairball. Not beautiful. But other than french, language is so lovely! Spanish and Italian are so musical. Czech, German, Dutch are very commanding. So many languages are playful. And the fact that there are so many rules that differ on whether words are gendered or not, how many tenses a language needs, how exact their words are, if all the letter are pronounced—that blows me away. Humans are amazing if for now reason other than we were stubborn enough to settle places like LA and Siberia, and because we created so many different languages. Languages are beautiful, but seriously, fuck french. Still gonna learn it tho.

6. Why do you have to pay for the toilet in Europe? For places that seem to think health care is a right, why is going pee not a right? Why does my tap water cost more than my beer? These things make no sense to me. SOS.