#but seriously this is not the first or only time i've dreamt of something and then it happened within the next day or two!!!

[cobiehill]

Tomorrow When I Run Into You

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

w/c: 1086

warnings: 18+ !!! smut at the beginning, tiny bit of praise if u squint

summary: reader has training with natasha after dreaming about her all week

a/n hi this is the first thing i've written in ages so enjoy!! asks are open for future suggestions or requests bc id love to write more soon :))

masterlist

You moaned into Natasha’s mouth, squirming underneath her grip as she thrusted her fingers further into you.

“You’re doing so good” she whispered “taking me so well”. Your lower stomach burned at her praise, burying your face into her neck to hide the blush that tinted your cheeks. Natasha let out a small groan as you took her skin between your teeth, sucking ever so gently at the flesh. Your hips bucked as she picked up the pace, beads of sweat growing on your forehead.

“C-can I?” You pleaded. Natasha removed her fingers as quickly as they entered, you whined, rocking your body to try and make up for the feeling of emptiness.

“Not yet, detka” she responded, as you felt her thumb come into contact with your clit, rubbing slow and painful circles. 

“You have to wait.”

“Wake UP.” A voice grumbled. You let out a sleepy groan and rolled onto your other side when you felt a pair of hands shove at you firmly.

“I’m not going to ask you again. Get your ass up and downstairs in ten”

“Natasha?” You asked groggily, rubbing at your eyes as the redhead sauntered out of your door. It closed with a thud. 

The feeling of dread settled into your stomach as you processed the scene that had unfolded in your unconscious brain. The sensation multiplied when you remembered you had to face Natasha, properly, in a few minutes for training. 

“Fuck.” You whispered, sitting upright in your bed and pressing your palms against your flushed cheeks. You were still embarrassingly turned on, and you mentally scolded yourself for the sensation the dream had left between your legs.

This was the third night this week you’d dreamt about Natasha. But it was the first time this week you were going to have to spend one on one time with her, and that mental reminder was enough to make you want to vomit. 

You got washed and dressed, downining a small glass of water before heading to the gym. As expected, Natasha was already there and working. And she looked hot. 

You stood in the doorway, frozen to the spot, only able to watch as she stretched her muscles out across the room. Her face was laced with concentration as she moved, a cold expression gracing her features when she noticed your arrival.

“You’re late.” She stated. “Don’t do that again.”

You nodded.

“Sorry”

You took your place opposite her on the floor, not able to maintain even an ounce of eye contact as she instructed you to get into a fight position.

You were out of it today, even Natasha could tell. After you unsuccessfully dodged her third punch, Natasha took your wrist into a firm grip.

“Unbelievable.” She hissed. You wanted to curl up and die from the look she was giving you. “Your punches are sloppy. And your form is shameful. I taught you better than that.”

Your stomach twisted in knots. Natasha never seemed to be that fond of you, and you certainly weren’t doing yourself any favours now.

Natasha grew impatient by your lack of response.

“Seriously, what has gotten into you?” she prodded.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got a lot on my m-”

“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses Y/N”

“Do you hate me? Or something?” You blurted, your brain giving you absolutely no warning before your outburst.

Natasha’s expression was unreadable. 

“You’re being particularly difficult this morning and I don’t have time to babysit-”

“So you do hate me?” You interrupted.

“No.” Natasha replied slowly. Her expression was still confusing to you. “What difference does it make either way?”

You looked away. You wished so badly that the woman in front of you was the same one from your dreams. The version of Natasha that cared for you, and didn’t see you as a walking inconvenience. 

“Well?”

You shrugged, eyes glued to the floor.

The awkward pause was broken by Nat taking your wrists and holding them out in a fight pose in front of you.

“Back to work.” She ordered softly.

If it were even possible, this round was more unsuccessful than the last, your mind was preoccupied. 

All you wanted to do was impress her, but instead you found yourself back in the daydream of being intimate with her. 

As she fought you, you wanted nothing more than to be spread underneath her, with her making you feel good and wanted, rather than beating the shit out of you.

After a few hard punches, Nat swiped at your legs with her own, knocking you to the ground.

She was poised above you, clearly having won the fight, and your heart thumped aggressively in your chest.

“Getting all your hatred out, huh?” You said, quietly, attempting to break the earlier tension.

Surprisingly, Natasha laughed in response. Your pulse beat so heavily you were sure it’d soon be audible.

“You’re an idiot” She quipped, the ghost of a smirk appearing on her lips, as she swung her legs off from around you and stood up.

She offered you a hand and pulled you to your feet. She looked down at you, still smirking.

“I don’t hate you.” She assured you. “I just wish you’d take all this mentoring stuff a bit more seriously that’s all”

Your eyes widened.

“I do take it seriously!” you protested. “Seeing you is my favourite part of the week!”.

Once again your brain had betrayed you by allowing the words to fall out before you’d processed them.

“Favourite, huh?” She responded, the amusement painfully evident on her face.

“Shut up.” You whispered.

“That’s no way to speak to your favourite mentor”

You rolled your eyes, but allowed yourself to smile, still not meeting her gaze.

“Hey.” She spoke, lifting your chin with her fingers to meet her eye line. “Since I clearly make your week so much better, why don’t we watch a movie together. Tonight?”

You fought to keep your composure. She looked so calm and collective, as though she didn’t currently have you wrapped around her finger.

“If you insist” You responded, breaking away from her grip to collect your belongings from the gym. You knew if you stayed near her for any longer you’d eventually just melt into a puddle in her hands.

She watched you walk out the gym, pleased with herself and the effect she clearly had on you. 

“Next session, you better have your ass in gear” She called after you.

“Whatever.” You shouted back. “See you tonight!”.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fic #black widow #avengers fic #avengers x reader #natasha romanoff

[fandoms-in-law]

Stories Chapter 2

chapter 1

Chapter Summary: Robin and Steve get to Steve's house and after dancing around Steve's reaction to his notebooks being found get distracted by something bigger

Warnings: child abuse and neglect, suicidal indeation (all warnings are for things that happened in the past of the story, not the present)

/\/\

That evening came too soon for Steve, but he was at least able to focus on the fact he and Robin were closing meant all the kids should be in their homes before he got to his, so only Eddie and Robin would have any opportunity to ask any questions.

Eddie was waiting on the sofa when Robin and Steve got there, cuddling one of the notebooks Steve had definitely asked to be put in his room and ignored.

"It's the one Lucas borrowed to take notes in. Don't worry, after your call I moved him next to me so neither he nor any of the other brats could keep reading your writing. He stuck to just the pages at the back he was taking notes on before they decided to see what these are hidden for." Eddie explained before anything could be said. "I said it's your choice if the pages are torn out for him to add to his dnd notes or he needs to copy them from one of the others.”

Steve nodded after a moment, holding a hand out to get his notebook back before heading to the kitchen. "I need dinner and a drink if Robs is set on actually talking about this shit. But thanks for that. It's just private stuff though, stupid nonsense."

"Didn't seem stupid to me, but you're right. There's no pressure to talk about anything you don't want to." Eddie countered but got up to follow him through.

"There is. It's something I should work through and this one is set that we're going to help each other through the trauma we've faced whether that's Hawkins hell related or not apparently." Steve sighed, tuning out Robin's reply and the conversation that grew between her and Eddie as he focused on cooking a simple pasta.

"Dinner and are you planning to bring up the elephant in the room now, or after we've eaten?" Steve asked eventually, turning around with the plated food and going to the fridge to grab drinks out.

Eddie hummed, "You okay if we say now? I mean this seems to be making you more tense the longer it's delayed and they are just some stories."

"I'm fine and no. They're what was needed for King Steve to exist! These are pages telling me the monsters can be defeated, that we can be safe in a town sitting atop hell like Hawkins is." Steve shook his head, hand automatically going to his notebook to prevent anyone else taking it even though neither moved.

Robin shrugged after a moment. "Why did king Steve need to exist if you had to write stories to be him? Stories you can't stand us knowing about let alone sharing."

"Want me to list what a Harrington is for you? Cause you won't find stories, read or written or simply dreamt anywhere in there." He huffed, eating before he could say anything more and wondering if he could get out of answering too many questions by keeping his mouth full. It didn't seem likely; if he tried they'd just wait until he finished.

Eddie confused him however by looking around the room, wandering into the living room for a moment. "You know I've wondered before why there are no book here and assumed they're all just kept in cupboards or something. You're telling me that no, you're just not allowed them? Seriously? Fuck money if it means you can't have stories! That's fucked up Stevie!"

"It's what my life has been. Fit the expectations, never give away the times I struggle to reach them and keep our name important to the town." Steve stated.

There must have been something in his voice or expression because Robin shared a look with Eddie before asking, "What happens if you don't meet their expectations?"

"This, at first at least." He gestured broadly to the house around them, empty as always. "Then later things like the pool heating being turned off so I either couldn't practice or risked hypothermia each time, being kept from school trips, and you know money was cut off when I didn't get into college. That wasn't the first time though. They were never here way before then and the amount they left for me to survive on was based on how well I was meeting their expectations. The amount they sent for extended trips just the same."

Neither knew how to respond to it and after a few moments of seeing Robin and Eddie both try to think of what to say Steve continued, "Do you get it now? Everything has to be what they want or that could happen again. It can't - I can't - I've no fucking clue how to let it go because it's still hovering there. Doctor Owens said they'd do something after realising my parents weren't around to confirm the keep quiet payment, but that just got me paperwork."

Robin frowned at that, then clapped her hands. "Show us this paperwork then dingus. Maybe he did do something since we got full bank accounts to keep our mouths shut. Didn't you?"

"Third time, this time, yeah. I guess I did." Steve said after thinking for a moment.

"I'm calling Nancy. You two chat." Robin declared. "Don't give me that look. I'm just asking what she and Mike got for keeping shtum. They've been in this from the start so she'll know if getting paperwork is weird which I'm sure it is."

They watched her disappear into the living room before Steve jumped up to clear their plates away. "I could swear she's waiting as long as she can before asking to look in the notebook."

"Was Dnd what you meant when you said I do things daily you'd prefer to face Russians than do?" Eddie asked instead of responding.

"Just sharing stories." He shrugged. "I just want to feel safe enough for that."

"I hope I'm someone that can happen around, Stevie. The bit I read before realising you probably wouldn't want us reading that was really good. You've been telling yourself stories for a while, haven't you?" Eddie's voice was soft, gentle as he watched Steve decide to clean the dishes.

Steve paused in his movements before glancing back at him almost shyly. "I think you will be. I've thought about showing them to you before, but it's just-"

"Everything drilled into you mind by the genetic excrement you came from." He finished, making Steve laugh when he understood the insult to his parents.

"And Nancy agrees it's weird you got paperwork instead of a full bank account. Where's the paperwork you got?" Robin called, coming back through and looking over the table as if expecting it to be there now.

Both men rolled their eyes. "It's in my room. If you're really set on looking through it then let's go. It's not gonna change anything. My parents still rule the house."

"Legally that might not be so." Robin tutted. "Let's go."

"I'm leading the way and putting my notebooks away before doing anything to get this paperwork out." Steve insisted, catching her shoulder to pull her back when she tried to hurry up the stairs ahead of him.

All his notebooks were out, scattered over his bed, some left open even and Steve didn't give his friends a chance to follow him in, slamming the door behind him to make sure nothing more was read of them. He couldn't bring himself to rush putting them away though.

These books felt like his friends just as much as the pair outside his door and the kids who caused all this were. He wouldn't risk damaging them or the stories that had comforted through pressures and nightmares alike.

Only once the were safely back in his wardrobe did he open the door to Robin's knocking that had been constant from the moment he shut it.

"How long did Dustin take to bring a notebook down for Lucas to take notes in?" he asked to Eddie, already having realised that he'd have been called earlier than he was if all his notebooks had been seen by everyone.

Eddie thought for a moment before admitting, "Long enough that Mike was about to rip pages from his notebook for Lucas and in his words 'drag Dustin to the game by his ears'. Erica volunteered to do the same."

"Which one looked through the notebook that convinced you to call me?" Steve knew how shy he felt over the subject was clear in how quiet his voice had become.

"Dustin again. When I called for a break he told Lucas to look in the front and got all the shitheads involved except for Erica who said she'd murder them if they acted like that over her notes and bet you would too."

Steve snorted at that. "Which was when you called me to prevent any murders?"

"Which was when I confiscated the notebook to check if it was private. I think there was a suicidal character on the page they were looking at then. That's when I called you." Eddie was serious now, searching Steve's face for a reaction and clearly surprised when he relaxed a little more then.

Steve just waved a hand, standing to start finding the paperwork from Doctor Owens. "Best way to story myself calm; project then have characters argue with it."

He froze when arms wrapped tightly around him, first one pair then another, halting his actions.

"You ever feel like that again, call me, call Robin, just fucking promise you'll let us help rather than just storying yourself calm." Eddie's voice was choked, rough and it took a moment of repeating the last things they said in his head for Steve to understand why.

"It wasn't a big thing, just thoughts after a nightmare. You know, middle of the night thoughts that mean fuck all in daylight." he tried to reassure. "I'm not going anywhere back then or now."

"Promise us anyway. We want to be here for you like you're here for everyone else." Robin insisted now, her grip on him tightening.

Steve huffed a laugh, hoping hearing it would help them relax that he's there and happy with them. "Fine, I promise that if ever thoughts of being better off dead are in my head I will try to reach out. Not saying for certain though."

"I guess that's good enough." They both pulled away, still watching him with concern.

"Can we focus on these pages and pages of nonsense that are meant to get me to keep quiet about the first two encounters with the Upside-down?" Steve let go of his wish to comfort them, opting for distraction instead. He quietly thought that since it would still be helping him they'd feel better doing that than the other distractions he was more tempted to use for himself.

Thankfully the pair accepted it, taking the pages, though still shooting concerned glances at him every so often. “So I'll take whatever you got the second time this happened and Robin can look through the first time things?” Eddie suggested, already taking the first pile out of Steve's hands and he pulled it out from his bedside table cabinet.

“I think it's all mixed together...” Steve mused, looking at the rest of the folders he'd put it in as he tugged it out. “You don't want me to go through it with you?” He asked a moment later, realising Eddie hadn't mentioned him.

Eddie chuckled slightly. “Stevie, if you actually cared what all this is, you'd have looked through it or tried to understand it before now. Or asked what it all is whenever Doctor Owens gave it to you. We're not going to force you into trying to understand it when you don't like 'paperwork' and the many things that word could include.”

“You could bake us some cookies or something to snack on while reading.” Robin suggested, recognising the feeling useless pout as he let it form. “I know you've been complaining about never getting to bake anything more interesting than sugar cookies or chocolate chip ones because the kids always ask for them.”

Steve looked between them for a moment. “I'm baking bread, then a Swiss roll. We can have French toast in the morning.” He decided.

…

He was halfway through baking the Swiss roll, doing some of the washing up in the short time it needed when he heard Robin come downstairs to the living room. “Yeah, hey Hopper, need some how to advice, you got a minute?” She said a moment later, piquing his curiosity enough that Steve moved to hover in the doorway between the rooms.

“Yeah, I want to know how Steve can change his landline number and how difficult it is to change the locks on doors?” If he wasn't already curious just because she was calling Hopper, that sentence had him hanging on every word, wishing he could hear Hopper's replies.

“You'll show us how this weekend? Seriously? Perfect and the phone? It's a company or phone line provider thing? Thanks, I'll get on with convincing him it's necessary then.” Steve felt like his eyebrows were about to detach and start climbing his hair with how high they must have gotten in surprise over what seemed to be implied that he'd be doing now. It definitely startled Robin when she turned although that might just have been that she wasn't expecting him to be in the doorway.

For a moment she hovered, waiting for him to speak or trying to think of something to say, Steve wasn't sure, but he needed to make sure the Swiss roll came out at the right time. “If you're already making plans like that for me, you're probably ready to come down here and start explaining what all those pages were. I bet not looking at them would be another way I've failed to meet my parents expectations.”

“Pretty sure if they know what they are, there's no complaints from those assholes that you haven't looked at them.” Robin grinned when he glanced back, heading to the oven. “But sure, Eddie and I will bring the important ones down now. Quick question first, how do you feel about redecorating?”

Steve froze where he'd been opening the oven. “It's not allowed. Mother will throw a fit if I even suggest getting rid of the plaid in my room.”

“Good answer.” Robin agreed cryptically, as if he'd said let's get wallpaper tomorrow instead of refused. She disappeared upstairs before anything else could be said.

Refocusing to ensure the Swiss roll was actually rolled before the cake would crack instead of rolling, Steve absently wondered if that was the point. If he was changing the locks, changing the phone number, then his parents wouldn't be able to access him or the house without knocking so he would be able to change things.

Thankfully that was finished before Eddie appeared in the kitchen, spinning Steve around and into a seat with the loud declaration of “You have a choice of good news, great news, and fucking fantastic but never tell the kids news.”

"I'd say start with the best but dude, do what you want. It's not like third place in your list is a bad thing." He laughed, gesturing for Eddie to continue.

"Well then, third place for awesome things found in your reward paperwork, your dad is a moron who I bet didn't read the papers the government got him to sign. You could claim ownership of almost anything from him as reward for the shit you've gone through and he can't argue because of this little page!" Eddie brandished the piece of paper as if it was a shield. "He gives you shit for not reading documents just point out he probably didn't either."

Steve smirked, taking the page and pretending to read it now. "He'd just fall back on the 'I trust the government' line until realising I could actually do this. Only thing I'd want is like ownership of here and money for bills."

"Perfect time for me to bring up that you already have that then!" Eddie cheered, another document pulled from behind his back. "Deeds to the house, irretractable and permanent unless you decide to sell. If you want the pool heating back on that's your choice to make."

Steve's jaw drops and he sags backwards before startling forwards from not finding the back of the chair when he expected to. "This is mine? Fully mine, not just 'pay the bills yourself since you failed to get into college' mine?" He repeated, staring around the house as if unable to process the news.

"Yeeesssss." Robin drawled out. "Which leads to the best of it all, you can decorate it however you like and I'm already saying the kids are not being told and should be banished from your house until its done because you Know they'll try to take over and correct any choice you make to their tastes."

Steve blinked at he for a moment before nodding in slow motion, clearly still not processing what it meant. "I can have posters and photos up in my room?" He asked.

"Your room, down here, anywhere. Hell you could plaster the fridge with embarrassing photos or artwork by the kids if you wanted to." Eddie gestured widely around the room as he spoke as if just waving would produce the pictures.

Steve carried on his slow nodding. "Right. This is my house and I can make it a home if I want too. Does that mean you two could move in so it isn't completely empty always?" He looked vulnerable, curling into himself as he realised what he'd asked.

Both of them laughed slightly, "We'll have to see about that. Seems like a big adjustment for all of us when you need the support here." Robin tried to gently reject the offer.

Eddie thought for a moment, watching Steve's reaction and letting the reason why he was asking settle into his brain. "If you can convince Wayne he doesn't need to check I'm alive and not on the run again then maybe in a month or two. We can have plenty more sleepovers before then as we help you though." He offered instead.

"That sounds good. I'd - Can we have a sleep over tonight?" Steve requested, looking between them.

The agreement for that comes easily, all three of them moving back to the living room to put a film on and have some of the cake Steve made.

chapter 3

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #steve has bad parents #cw child abuse #cw child neglect #cw suicidal indeation #platonic stobin #platonic steddie #steve owns his house #hurt comfort #steve bakes

[fareehaandspaniards]

*shoves Katy out of the way and cringes at the sound of glass breaking + cats yowling*

AHEM. (Sorry Katy <3) My turn!

Fareeha, what are your headcanons on Eileen and Bloody Crow so far?! Have you thought about them a bit? Or are you still figuring them out? 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

For now I have something about them!

For this ask, I combined my headcanons with my spouse's thoughts, because he's Eileen fan! I've had Eileen's image in my head since the first playthrough, and even though it has undergone many changes, her overall vibe remained the same. Crow of Cainhurst is harder to deal with, as you can create him for yourself almost from scratch! They actually both are very expressive characters! But while Eileen has her own voice, a quest line, and a description of her clothes that tells at least some canonical story, the Bloody Crow of Cainhurst - like Damian and other Old Hunters - creates a lasting impression with his equipment, fighting style and appearance!

(I should have put them next to each other, but Tumblr decided that Eileen's pic is too long, so it cuts her D:)

I should probably start from afar, because I usually get things mixed up, and here I have two characters to describe at once!

Eileen's background. She's a foreigner, but we don't know exactly how her covenant formed, how she came to all this. I think she arrived in Yharnam before the whole blood mess. And I really like the headcanon that Eileen was in love with one of the pre-hunters - the one who was protecting Yharnam and nearest villages from monsters and other people. They eventually became an established couple. And once when madness struck her love, Eileen was the one who had to behead her once-lover. And so was the birth of the covenant.

Eileen reminded me of another character from my all-time favorite game, and she's a dragoon knight whose lover has lost his memory. Aaaaand… her phrase from the game I might give Eileen in this case:

«What irony. To find the man about whom I have dreamt endlessly... only to discover that he cannot even remember who I am!»

Also about origins, if we relate Eileen to modern geography, I'd say her homeland could be Mexico? Not for any deep reasons, I just really like the Santa Muerte aesthetic, and I feel that vibe in Eileen (I'll also mention Scandinavia and Tibet later on, so it's hard to attribute her ONLY to Mexico)

Eileen is quite a tough, cold-hearted person. Actually, to stand under her gaze is a very difficult task, I think even Henryk couldn't do it! (You know, that look of an angry mother, when she doesn't need to explain her child that she is mad, they have already realized that! xd) I think, besides hunting, she also has a lot of applied talents, such as sewing, drawing, modeling, but because of the Hunt she almost forgot all of them.

Eileen really did understand crows somehow! It was HER kind of bird, to which she had dedicated her appearance and to which she had counted herself. In fact, in her homeland she was called as something of a witch because of it, though Eileen herself was hardly related to magical matters! One day she told Crow about it, she wanted to make it sound like a joke, but he took it very seriously and sternly said, "You do look like a witch!" <3

You know the legend of Huginn and Muninn? I think she has her own pair of crows that bring her news and keep an eye on everyone.

We don't know all the Great Ones, but based on the image of Mergo's Wet Nurse, with wings and stuff - could there be any bird-like GO? I think Eileen, just by being herself, has attracted Great One's patronage or became an unspoken servant of this Great One? She's a warm "mom", but she's also connected to something so ancient.

I read some time ago that Eileen and her "foreign tradition" funeral is a reference to the Tibetan rite of heavenly burial!!!! It impressed me madly at the time, it's amazing to find such a fact after all! Thanks you, @heraldofcrow , for that! And it's already "canon" to me that this was the essence of the funeral she was conducting? Many Yharnamites found them heretical as they were in foreign traditions, but with all the despair heaped upon the city and Eileen's faith in what she was doing - I think she was called upon to do such things by people… At the very least to ensure that the soul of the deceased would have a chance at a new life and not be stuck in the clutches of the Great Ones and the eternal cycle of the Nightmare….

Eileen gives me some Boss vibes from Metal Gear, while Crow gives me some Sergei Razumovsky vibes from Bubble Comics. (TBH Sergei is the mental child of Micolash, Crow and Laurence…. I used to really like him, as well as the whole comic. But it changed the course of the storyline a bit, so I don't read it anymore)

Boss in the left, Sergei in the right (One was destined to battle her best apprentice, almost son, and die tragically(on a field full of white flowers, yeahm hello, Gehrman, take a seat), and the other one has inner crow-like crazy personality)

When Eileen became a hunter of hunters, she picked up the boy after finding him in the woods, half dead with many scars. We don't actually know how old Crow really is, some headcanon that he's a grown up man, but in my vision he's a young man of about 20, about the same age as Edgar (again, according to my headcanons! You'll never tell exactly what age is this accountant-looking man xdd)

Judging by the estimated time of the massacre, Crow was just a kid at the time. I think he was about ten years old when all this happened? Oh, ten years old is a terrible age for moral trauma. Child is too old to forget everything because of shock, and too young to find the strength to recognize and process that trauma without outside help, without creating more wounds in himself… What did he experience? What he saw? I don't even want to imagine.

But, as it sometimes happens, we expect from a "traumatized" person vulnerability, need for protection, delicate soul and sensitivity. But it happens that the consciousness gives absolutely opposite behavior, hiding all sensitivity deep and far away. So young Crow was not the best child to raise! He came to Eileen rough, heartless, with a slight sadistic tendency. I think because of him and his behavior, Eileen went through many difficult hours… But here you either refuse to let someone else's problems into your heart and miss the opportunity to help, or you live someone else's suffering as your own, and Eileen, of course, in Crow's case, chose the second option. It's a very hard thing to do. But such kindness is always reciprocated in one way or another, and it can also spark the strongest bond!

Eileen raised him, keeping him strict but spoiling him occasionally (I think she always dreamed of having a family, you know, with two people loving each other and kids? But fate deprived her of such an opportunity - she wouldn't be able to love again… But having lost it, Eileen would have gained a "son"). She couldn't not being strict and even sometimes cruel (NO physical punishments or anything else! Hard trainings - yes, tough tasks - yeah) - otherwise Crow would never have taken her seriously. Eileen was great at separating her images of "mother" and "mentor" into two different parts. "Mother" was always understanding and comforting, but "mentor" demanded that she do her bidding and kept a stern eye on her protégé's progress.

As a young boy, he was very sensitive to being laughed at. And as it happens, he did funny things quite often, whether it was awkwardness, attention-seeking, or just plain luck in life. Eileen found him funny but didn't know it hurt him. Crow was offended. But once he saw her sad, watched her stay up at night, found out HOW MUCH heaviness she had on her mind and experienced the most genuine understanding, he realized WANTED to be funny to her? That giving your loved one a reason to laugh is a way to take his mind off his problems. That's how he probably got over his exorbitant ego for the first time. And that's how people grow up! :^)

Crow grew into a skillful and very strong young man. "The student surpassed his teacher" was their situation. Crow became a better man and took from his mentor all that she could give him. Aaaaand... He made his own choice in life, I believe. He stepped out from under his mentor's wing, taking his course back to Cainhurst. And, taking to my headcanons the research of @heraldofcrow, I willingly believe he chose the "heretical path" of not taking souls to heaven as he should, but coming to his Queen and bringing those souls to her feet.

I don't think there was any drama between them when Crow committed the betrayal. There was no breakup, no words, why would they need them? He just chose his path. There's no room for her judgment, they just became strangers. They went their separate ways, and that's a conscious choice Crow made. Did it hurt Eileen? Madly, I think. But her emotions can almost never get the better of her, which is why she coldly refers to Crow as "my prey." She doesn't allow herself to take offense. Except in her failure quest line, when she's distraught and attacks a player. I think it's naturally all about Crow there. It's just that in the "failed" quest line she has no alternate successor to her covenant as a player, and thus has no hope at all. Only despair and bitter betrayal by the closest person to her.

Does it hurt Crow? I don't know. I think he respects Eileen, I think he values her and knows that he will never meet a better and more honest warrior. Maybe he's sorry he had to do it. But no more than that. Is he heartless? Not really. What's inside him? I think he wants to get back what he lost a long time ago. Unfortunately, it's human nature. Even if we feel very good in a new home, we will agonize and think about the old one we were deprived of, that old home will always be "more valuable" in our imagination….

Small headcanons and relationships!

Damian + Eileen. (of course I started with Damian I am sorry lol... My fav will be everywhere) The two met when Eileen first arrived in Yharnam. Their little unspoken friendship began over a glass of Eileen's tincture. Almost no one knew of this acquaintance, but somehow they were comfortable in each other's company. Perhaps because they were both kind-hearted adults for everyone else and had a warm personality and compassion for others.

Damian was visiting Micolash's mummy, constantly lighting candles in the hall where he is. But on one of his visits, he was able to open the empty building of the School of Mensis. He found Edgar's corpse there. He called Eileen because he wanted to give him a proper burial. Together they performed the ceremony in the proper manner. They couldn't know it, but Edgar's soul and mind, trapped in a nightmare, felt better. And when the hunter killed him finally - his soul was free and cleansed, thanks to this ritual.

Eileen + Gascoigne + Henryk + Viola. A real family friendship! Gascoigne is also a foreigner, as is Eileen, and Henryk isn't really from around here… I think Eileen was the best friend of the family, and Gascoigne's little daughters adored her! It's a common headcanon, and I like it a lot :^) They were all very connected… (I think Crow have been a frequent visitor to their house with Eileen. And Eileen would tell stories about him at the table and Crow would resent xd)

Crow + Annalise. OooOooOoooh, I'm chuffed, to tell you the truth xddd But! I think Crow could have been very much in love with Annalise as a boy, carrying that feeling for an immortal woman through the years. Only - he would still be a "boy" to her, and he would have to prove that he had indeed grown up. And, thanks to Eileen's influence, he would succeed!

Crow + Maria. In my version, they're quite different ages, but I think there's definitely a family connection between them. At least as a young boy he would have seen Maria within the castle walls. I think they would have grimaced, showing each other tongues because they're both kids at heart xd And for a while they could both learn the Blade skill, where Crow would be enamored with blood magic and Maria would be the opposite. (I really need to make a table of character ages by time of events, because otherwise I get confused, and I have different ages for Maria in different headcanons! xd)

Crow + Alfred. Alfred would probably look like a nasty little bug to Crow, wouldn't he? The kind that's annoying just by the sight of it. (I like bugs actually, all I want to say is that Crow despises Alfred) He'd obviously have heard of a follower of Martyr Logarius who zealously seeks revenge for his teacher? (I'm surprised there is no quest line in the game where these two meet and try to kill each other) And Crow couldn't even imagine this man violently cut his Queen open one day... (thanks, Hunter! xd).

Crow + Arianna. Oh, I think he would despise her as well. Not because of her kind of job, but because she, an heiress of noble blood, an aristocrat, lives under the wing of the Yharnamites who exterminated her people. I think he would have tried to kill her! But Arianna is not so simple. He simply wouldn't have succeeded. You know, that spectacular scene in the movie where the killer comes for his victim and she welcomes him with open arms, completely naked and defenseless, and he gets lost, because he's still just a young boy, not a man… If there were no such scenes, I'm sorry, but that's how I see it xd

Little Headcanons:

Crow has always wanted to wear long, luxurious curls, and Eileen was always cutting his hair, all through his youth, to make him look better (I wanted to first justify that long hair in combat is inconvenient, but it hasn't hindered anyone in Fromsoftware games yet, so okay xd)

Crow is ENTP, you can't convince me otherwise lol…. (maybe you can)

He's also great with kids, I think because kids can sense strong people and are often drawn to them, and he's exactly like that, independent and cool, so Gascoigne's daughters loved him! (He also doesn't mind playing with dolls, just in secret.)

Crow's birth name is Astolf.

I think Annalise knows Crow exists, when Good Hunter comes to the castle. But she doesn't want us to know it.

Crow and Eileen have come a long way together - growing up, accepting their own flaws, that deep bond between them where two can live like a real family while being completely unrelated. But Crow still belongs to Cainhurst and to his Queen, and so his and Eileen's paths have diverged.

Hope you enjoy reading all of those!

#ask #mutuals #my art #eileen the crow #bloody crow of cainhurst #bloodborne #bloodborne headcanons #longpost

[bangficsx]

PAINT ME RED | 01

series

warning : sexual references

When he saw her from the back he was surprised as to why another person except him would be sitting on the beach at 3am. He walked closer and noticed she was crying as the water washed her feet resting bare on the sand.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asked squatting down beside her and leaning closer to look at her face but still at a safe distance.

"Life is unfair" She said before biting her lip trying to control herself from letting a sob escape from her mouth.

"Am I ugly?" She asked looking at him. "Please tell me honestly"

"Honestly, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met" Yoongi replied with the slight haziness in his mind because of the alcohol running through his system. She blushed at his remark.

"I wish it was my boyfriend, sorry my fiancè telling me this"

"What kind of a fiancè is he if he has never told you this?" Yoongi chuckled.

"I so badly wanna get rid of him" She frowned watching the water washing her feet once again.

"Do you not like him?"

"Not anymore"

"Does he treat you badly?"

"I think he might if I marry him. It's a long story will you listen to it?"

"If it ends before sunrise" he said making her chuckle.

"So you see it started when my dad met this guy who instantly asked him if he could set me up with him at his first meeting, then he took me out on a couple of boring dates and then we had sex while I was drunk."

"TMI" Yoongi said with a grin.

"Thats actually an important part of the story. I always dreamt of getting married and having a family of my own ever since I was a little girl. After I reached a stable position at my job I thought it would be nice to get what I had always wanted. Things didn't go the way I had planned and then basically after that not so pleasurable night I ended up pregnant in the most classic way. He made excuses about it not being his fault as I'm the one responsible to take pills because condoms can reduce his pleasure. And then we or better said I got an abortion, that might be the best decision I've ever made for myself. He only didn't want it because people would talk. And he hates when people talk."

"I hate this man no wonder you do too"

"Then he told our parents we were ready to get married and to start the preparations"

"What?" Yoongi scoffed. "Then what did you do?"

"I.. I ran away and came here"

"This gives a tough competition to the best thing you've done for yourself"

"He has got no idea because he's abroad for the next ten days but once he comes back I'm sure it won't be too hard for him to find me" she pursed her lips.

"You've got time to come up with something" Yoongi said tucking his hair behind his ear which blew them over his eyes.

"Tell me something about you. What's the worst thing that has happened to you?"

"I believe everything happens for a reason and the good things won't be good if there's no bad things."

Jia smiled looking at Yoongi.

"When I feel bad I always tell myself look at the moon and the stars, look at the sea and feel the breeze. There are so many reasons to stay alive for. So many things to be happy for. There are people like you in the world to talk to." Jia looked at Yoongi admiring his beautiful face.

"Oh come on" Yoongi said looking towards the sea out of shyness.

"Believe me I wish I could talk like this with my boyfriend. I wish I could've liked him so much but I guess there was a reason for it because I was meant to meet you."

Yoongi chuckled.

"You've got no idea how complicated my life is so you'd better stay away."

"Why? Do you have a partner or commitments?" Jia enquired as to why Yoongi was refusing her feelings even when she was sure he reciprocated them.

"No and I can't have any"

"What is it?" Jia asked getting closer to him. She kept her hand on his cheek then ran her fingers through his hair. He flinched and moved away from her touch.

"Seriously, I was just trying to help. Nothing more than that." Yoongi stood up and walked away from her. She tried to stop him but then gave up watching him run away angrily.

When it was morning and birds started chirping all around his window Yoongi had to wake up to shoo them away. He rubbed his eyes to remove the buildup from his eyelashes. It was the day before their concert. His to do list consisted of only two things — 1. practice with the boys 2. eat two meals and sleep before 12 am. He sighed before picking up the telephone to order black coffee.

Memories of last night flashed through his mind in blurry, dark scenes. His head was throbbing due to the hangover. Burgundy hair, red lipstick, red nailpaint, red hoodie.

He remembered the words of the woman little by little. "I love red so much. All my life people have said red is my color and then my boyfriend comes in my life and tells me it's the color that looks the worst on me."

"Shit. Who was that I met last night? What the fuck! Shit! how could I be so careless?" Yoongi quickly changed his clothes before leaving his room and going to Hoseok's.

"Hoba!" He shouted from outside the door knocking on it rapidly.

"What happened hyung? Is everything alright?" He asked opening the door in a hurry.

"No" Yoongi said getting inside his room and closing the door.

"What is it!"

"I met a woman last night"

"So... did you not use protection or something?"

"Oh no.. not in that way"

"Then?"

"She was perfect Hobi. And I... I panicked and fled away. I wanna go back and tell her I like her and kiss her. I even wanna fuck her. And fuck, I wanna marry her. She's just the kind of woman I wanna marry and make babies with. And I don't even know who she is"

"Hyung are you sure she's even real? What if you just dreamt about her?" Hoseok asked.

"No she's real. She touched my cheek and told me she likes me and all about her life."

"Calm down hyung... we will find your perfect woman and ask her to date you, okay?" Yoongi nodded in yes blushing and smiling with memories of Jia replaying in his mind.

#min yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x oc #yoongi #hoseok #suga #bts #bts smut #bts suga #bts series #bts stories #yoongi min #bts fanfic

[goth-automaton]

Good evening Snake 💜 for the writers ask game: 4, 13 and 23 please?

Good evening, Gemma! 💜

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Everywhere. Like, seriously, I can be just sitting there and suddenly KABOOM, a new idea out of nowhere. But if I had to narrow it down, then it's mainly video games, movies (I don't even have to watch something, reading a plot summary is enough), sometimes songs. I've also dreamt a good deal of fic plots, but tbh only one is actually usable and I'm still not sure, if I want to write it, as it's... Angsty. Angsty as fuck, even for my standards. Literally nothing good happens there.

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Use names of characters. No "blond-haired man", "blue-eyed princess" etc. Names. Always names. Only swap names for something else if it's really needed (like, the POV character doesn't know how's the person called yet).

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

Don't give a fuck what others say. You like the idea enough to want to write it? Write it. Doesn't matter, if it's cliche, against canon or if you're writing the same thing for the third time, just write it. You're your primary audience and it's you who should enjoy the story in the first place.

Thank you! 💜

The fic ask game.

#it's Gemma! #ask game #mail time! #fic writing

[acesophiewalten]

just saw phantom of the opera. going a bit insane!!!

i saw julia udine as christine, ted keegan as the phantom, and bronson norris murphy as raoul and my god were they Something.

buckle up, buddies, i have Thoughts

so julia udine's christine is super interesting to me, because her character arc is really pronounced, right? she starts out as almost a husk - during Hannibal she's confused, messing up her steps, meg has to help her along. i think she was full-on dissociating (christine, not julia udine). during think of me, she was still like - restrained, almost, holding back. she's visibly traumatized during act one, from her quiet voice to the way she pretends not to recognize raoul to the way she jumps when the phantom begins to chastise her. she's incredibly scared, completely under the phantom's spell, but not romantically; he has an entire hold on her. even when talking about him with meg she seems scared and almost trying to convince herself this is a good thing. she embraces raoul and is ecstatic to see him, but she can't bring herself to betray her 'angel.' during phantom of the opera she makes several attempts to look back/walk away from the phantom, though he always catches her arm and pulls her back in. this christine, in act one, is very much the phantom's victim - during stranger than you dreamt it, she keeps her head entirely down, during ll muto she's terrified of taking up the countess role, (she goes "Role?!" when they announce it and i like to think she only had the script half-memorized) and the only real happiness she gets is during all i ask of you, when she and raoul sing together and she gets a moment of rest - before the phantom absolutely wrecks her shit.

now, here's where it gets interesting. christine in act 2 has - realized that she has power. that she can fight back. she first gets an inkling of this during notes 2, when she leaves the entire main cast without saying a word (seriously, not even an "i can't!" someone tell me if julia messed up or if this was written in). wishing you were somehow here again is delivered - not as her breaking down, but as her realizing that she has the strength to try, to continue on without her father, or her angel, or anybody there - that she has to start living for herself. and her reaching out for the phantom is her buying into this idea that she has to rely on people, that she needs the phantom in order to live - but she doesn't. and its most pronounced in point of no return, when she realizes halfway through that he's the phantom, marches to the middle of the stage, and continues singing, while glaring at him like a madlad - if he wants to sing with her, oh boy, he's gonna get it. she even waves the guards away when they come to shoot the phantom, as if she's gonna deal with him herself. and during final lair, her main focus is always on escaping with raoul, even trying to duck under the gate with him - until she realizes that, wait, i've been fighting the wrong way this entire time. and she kisses him, showing him compassion and understanding, and he lets her go. and she looks so, so genuinely sad to give him back the ring, not like "ah shit im making the wrong choice" sad, but like, "oh god, oh shit really im just leaving you here, oh no, oh god." girlie is gonna have SUCH a guilt complex for the rest of her life <3

NOW, ted keegan's phantom was very interesting. im gonna be talking about him more generally, since his character arc isn't as pronounced as christine's. ted keegan plays the phantom as overdramatic: he swishes his cape, he yells, he smiles widely, he loves chewing the scenery and he loves showing himself off to christine. he's in so love with her and he genuinely believes that this is the right thing to do. the feeling i got from him was that - he had a plan, right? become christine's voice teacher, kidnap her, she falls in love with you, you get married and its a happy ending for everybody. but people kept fucking up his plans - from christine being, at first, too traumatized by him and then too angry to truly fall in love with him, to raoul showing up, to the new managers putting up a fight, to christine removing his mask and him scaring her. and at every detour from his plan, at every event that removes his suave, frightening-but-sexy persona, he gets more and more desperate, and more and more - real. he stops being overdramatic at very specific moments: when christine unmasks him and he realizes he just yelled at and threw her, ("oh - oh christine....") when he's on top of apollo's lyre post-all i ask of you, (begging the singing to stop, covering his ears, wiping his eyes, generally just bein' sad) during down once more, ("christine, christine, why?" and then he goes back to "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?") and finally, when she gives him the ring back.

and this is, i think, where his character really shines. he doesn't stop at the "christine, i love you" bit, he keeps on repeating, "i love you, i love you" even as she's leaving, not sadly, but as if its a realization. i love the idea that this phantom - always had this idea of christine in his head, someone he could show off to and sing his songs and be good and his idea of a perfect woman, but when she gives him back the ring, when he lets her go - he's finally fallen in love with her as she is and not how he wants her to be. she is christine daae and he is overwhelmed by his love for her, not how she sings his music or how she acts or how much she resembles an ideal he can never have. just plain her.

also its worth noting that during the kiss he just does not know what to do and its Hilarious. his hands are out, his eyes are open, he's barely kissing back, mans is shocked. especially when she goes in for another kiss, he's just ????????!!!!!!!!!!! it was highkey hilarious

oKAY, finally - bronson norris murphy's raoul. this guy was SO SWEET. from the beginning, he was clearly enamored with christine - hugging her, holding her hands, trying to break her out of her shell. when christine announced that her father was dead, he gave a little gasp and then bowed his head. even his invitation to supper was very nervous - he seemed to be like "okay yeah im suave im cool im winning she likes this!" like he was trying to be 'manly' and win her over. during notes he was snooping around, comparing the handwriting, asking around, even being really suspicious of madame giry immediately. he also partners with meg to look in the envelopes, which i find adorable. when christine shouts "role?!" during ll muto, he says "don't worry, im right with you!" which is just. so cute. and during all i ask of you, when christine is worried about the phantom being there, he literally checks the stairway for her, showing that nobody's there. he's really wonderful, here - and i love how his arc almost mirrors christine's? he starts out with a big crush on christine, going through the motions of courtship because he doesn't know what else to do. then, by notes, he realizes that christine needs help, more than he ever thought, and he commits to being there for her. all i ask of you was wonderful solely because raoul was so devoted to christine, waving her around, kissing her hands, shyly getting down on one knee. while the phantom is overblown in his affections, raoul is shy and clearly just wants to be with christine.

during act 2, he gets - hardened, a lot like the other characters. he's insistent on helping christine and making sure everyone's safe, and that means putting himself into Situations (confronting madame giry, setting up the don juan plan, even walking towards the phantom with his arms out while the phantom chucks fireballs because christine is more important) that he otherwise wouldn't have dreamt of. he has to face this very ugly reality (is that a pun?) very quickly to protect the woman he loves and he does do a decent job of it, however you have the sense that he doesn't quite know what he's doing. even when running off with christine in final lair, his first instinct is to stick around when the phantom tells him to leave - almost feeling bad for him. if not for the phantom doing his "go now and LEAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" thing i think raoul would've picked the phantom up by the scruff of his neck and carried him back and given him therapy himself.

also when christine did her kiss-hug-kiss with the phantom, raoul really fucking struggled in the noose and it was hilarious. he looked so angy. bud i promise its okay!!!

so those are my thoughts on the main three, not even touching on how madame giry is somehow more like the persian than before, or how carlotta is much more sympathetic, or how i was sitting underneath the chandelier so i got to see it fall really close up,

thank you for reading my rant, have a nice night!!

#the phantom of the opera #poto #poto broadway #christine daae #phantom of the opera #raoul de chagny #madame giry #meg giry #carlotta #jean.posts #im sorry this is so long lmao #and YES i know the phantom's name is erik he's just never refered to as such in the musical #julia udine #ted keegan #bronson norris murphy

[callme-atagoodtime]

A letter

This past Friday, for an embarrassing reason, I was in a situation where I thought I was going to die stranded in the cold at night. I haven't really told anyone but I wanted to tell you because, also embarrassingly, the thing that kept me going was thinking of you. I stopped shivering and smiled when I thought about your cringed laugh when I told you stupid jokes, how you nearly got lost and flustered in the Uber I sent you, when you asked me how long I'd been waiting to kiss you right after I did, holding hands together down Pike Place, and even our first FaceTime "date".

I really never felt like this before, especially in my 20's of being jaded out of love and romance. When I was talking about being soulmates, I might've been joking because I don't really believe in soulmates, but something about what connects me to you seems supernatural. It feels like I've been dreaming since you first tapped my shoulder when we were just standing next to each other after finally meeting up. I now understand how people could possibly base life decisions around an SO, go all out for them, trade the world for them, or write simpy, cringy shit like this.

Maybe this is delusion. I know I don't know you that well since you haven't let me in yet. Yeah, we find some differences between us the more we learn about each other, but we can figure that out. My mother once told me that to ever feel this kind of magic is incredibly lucky because most people will go through their entire lives never experiencing it. So that's why I don't really care if you do break my heart, I'm just enjoying this ride. The only thing I'll ask in this letter is that you be open with me about how you feel about us, tell me if something I do or say bothers you, or if you want to stop this ride. Because I know what I got to offer, you can't hurt me much. As long as our relationship is honest, sincere and equal, I'll always think of this as a blessed time.

The journey from meeting you to courting you to dating you in the past almost two months has been the adventure of a lifetime. Seriously, I never even thought we would kiss. But man, clicking that Follow Back button on Tumblr a decade ago is one of the best clicks I've clicked. If you're ever feeling down, I hope you take some pride and joy in knowing that I dreamt like this because of you. This was the biggest romance I’ve had, thank you for obliging me and keeping me warm in the cold.

[mystiq-u]

Wish I could be there ~ Miya Osamu

Warnings: Self harm, anxiety and heartbreak

Genre: angst without death

Pairing: Miya Osamu x Fem! Reader.

POV: Osamu's POV

We've known each other for as long as I can remember. And our parents are the best of friends. Throughout our lives, we were in the same school. Always together.

I've always loved her. More than anybody else ever could. I've always been by her side. When she had issues with her parents... When she had first realized how stressed she always was and that the heartaches weren't normal, and during the time she had started self-harming.

She'd cry in my arms, not knowing how to stop. It was a difficult time. For both her and me. It's not easy for a 17-year-old to watch someone they love more than themselves go through so much. And I couldn't even help her because I had no idea what to do except be there for her.

But she got help for herself. I was so proud of her for doing that. She gave her therapist my name for the person she knew she could always share everything with and someone she could rely on. I was glad she knew that.

A year later, she was much better. The self-harming had stopped. The anxiety was still there but nowhere near as much as it used to be. I remember exactly what she said, "Thank you so much, Samu. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there." She said and hugged me tighter than ever. "I'll always be there," I said and hugged her back.

That was the year we had won Nationals under Tsumu's captainship. She was there in the front row cheering for us with all of her heart. When we'd finally won, I think she was happier than me. She was the first person I had told about my dream of 'Onigiri Miya'. She loved onigiri too, so she was very supportive.

Another year later I was with her at her house. She stepped out of her room, looking like an angel. I could see the extra effort she had put in by styling her hair differently, putting thought in her clothing and putting a touch of makeup. That's not why she looked beautiful though. It was because she looked happier than I'd seen her in a long, long time.

"How do I look?" She asked me. "Hmmm.." I pretended to think and looked at her seriously. "Honestly..." I said, making a face. "What's wrong this time?" She sighed. "You look beautiful as always." I finally said and her face lit up.

"I love you so much Samu." She said as she hugged me. She had no idea how much those words meant to me. "I love you too," I replied. She broke away from the hug. "I can't believe this is finally happening." She gushed. "I always knew," I told her and she smiled brightly. That was the day of the first date. We've come a long way after that.

I remember that she was the only person who called me and Tsumu by our nicknames. We didn't let anyone else call us by those nicknames. Not even our parents. To others, they were just nicknames. But to us, it was something we shared... Something we were willing to share with her.

This was all coming back to me. She was walking down the aisle, looking as beautiful as always. I loved the way she was smiling. Walking towards me. She was happy. Happier than I'd ever seen her.

She looked happy even when she walked right past me and stood next to my brother. That was the exact moment I remember my heart shattering into pieces. I don't blame them for loving each other though. She was an amazing person anyone would be lucky to be with. Besides, she wasn't duty-bound to love me because I was nice to her. That was my choice and I had always known that.

And it's not like they didn't tell me that they liked each other. Tsumu had asked me if I would mind him going out with her. I wasn't one to back out. I didn't even let anyone else have the last slice of pizza. But that was the only time I backed out of something. Out of all the things, I had backed out of the chance to have something I'd always dreamt of... A life with her.

(Y/n) had told me she liked him too. But much later than Tsumu had. "You wouldn't mind me going out with Tsumu?" She had asked. "Of course not, you idiot. It was bound to happen. Just make sure you two don't get all lovey-dovey in front of me." I'd roll my eyes in response, every time she had asked me. I'd helped her get ready for her first date with Tsumu. And Tsumu before the day he finally asked her to be Mrs Miya Atsumu.

Out of everything that I could have lost, why did it have to be her? If I could change one thing in my life, it would be the moment I agreed to it all. I wanted Tsumu to be happy too, but couldn't it be with anyone else? I wished to be the one by her side...

God had given me enough time to tell her and make her mine forever, but I had let the opportunity go to waste. It was all my fault. I had never told anyone about it. If I had, maybe things would've been different. And maybe... it could've been me there, standing next to her.

I was happy that she was going to be a part of my family, but it also killed me that it wasn't happening the way I'd prefer it to be. "I now pronounce you husband and wife." The voice broke me away from the flashbacks in my head.

A few tears escaped my eyes before I even knew it and my brother looked at me. He then nudged (y/n) to look at me too. They both looked emotional. They thought it was because I was happy for them. Part of it was. But most of it wasn't...

But I had made a promise. And I intend to stick by it. I would always be there for her, even if it only meant for me to be her... Best friend.

(a/n): I think I broke myself with this....

Anyways, let me know if I have made a mistake anywhere.

Thank you for reading, see you soon!

Till then,

Stay safe and healthy

#miya osumu #osamu angst #haikyuu osamu #miya osamu angst #osamu and atsumu #haikyuu angst #heartbreak #haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu oneshot #osamu scenarios #miya osamu

[yourmidnightlover]

niagara falls pt.2

TW: smut, titty sucking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (female receiving), multiple orgasms, and a bit of discussion about feelings and mushy gushy stuff

Summary - spencer uses this time to partially make up for his words to you, and you discuss your future with him.

WC - 3,838

you don’t rly need to read pt 1 to understand this... just know spencer’s making up for some things he said to you before you ran away to travel for a while.

masterlist

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"you're still wearing my sweater," spencer said as he met your collarbone with his antics, pushing it slightly off your shoulder so he had more room to work.

"i uhh- i am wea-wearing your sweater," you huffed out, your hand trailing back to his neck so you could pull him to your lips.

you both moved with a fervent you weren't aware you had until now. his hands moved from your waist to your jaw, tracing every inch of your body to commit it to memory.

"it looks better on you," he said against your lips, his hands moving down your back to your thighs, lifting them so you could wrap your legs around his waist.

"spencer!" you giggled at his sudden eagerness as he walked the two of you over to the bed, gently laying you down.

you started to remove the sweater yourself, only for spencer to stop you with his hands covering yours at the hem of his shirt.

"let me... please," he said before you nodded. he slowly drug the fabric up and off your torso, you leaned up so you could throw it over your head. "i've wanted to see you like this for as long as i can remember," he hummed before connected your lips once again, his hands finding your now bare waist underneath him, admiring how the white lace contrasted with your skin.

"please, spencer," you begged as your hips began to buck up, looking for any source of friction.

"i'm taking my time, princess," he moved a strand of hair out of your face softly. "let me worship you like you deserve," he whispered, wanting to take this moment as slow as he could as to make sure it's real.

he began kissing down your neck again, sucking on your collarbone to surely leave any marks he could. his mouth trailed down your body, meeting the tops of your breasts. he reached his arms around you to make contact with the clasp, looking into your eyes for approval.

"is this what you want?"

"yes. i-i want this... so much," you announced, allowing him to unclasp your bra and connect his lips with your breast.

he kissed the top slowly, going all around one of them while his hand began gently massaging the other. his tongue traced your nipple before his lips wrapped around it, sucking lightly. your hands found his hair and shoulder as he kept up this pattern with alternating between each breast, massaging and kissing and sucking.

the room began to fill with your moans and angelic noises, spencer found himself wishing he would live in this beautiful moment forever. you tugged gently on his hair, eliciting a moan from him this time, the vibrations carrying through to your chest.

"oh my god, spence," you praised. "i-it feels so good," you began to feel the pit of pleasure building in your stomach, much to your surprise.

you had heard about women who could orgasm from nipple stimulation, but you had never had a partner who was even willing to try. now you were rather curious...

"d-don't stop. please, please, please don't stop!" you begged as his free hand began massaging the breast his lips were working on.

your back arched off the bed, your hands pulled spencer impossibly close to your body, wanting to feel every inch of him against you. you felt spencer smiling against your breast but you didn't even care, the wave of pleasure rushing over you and hitting you like a cyclone.

"spencer! yes! fuuckk!" you yelled, still coming down from your high as spencer lead you through it.

"wow, y/n," spencer awed as he made his way back up your body. "i didn't know you'd be able to do that," he said with a smug grin on his face.

"i didn't either," you huffed out. "i mean, i've never really tried, but i had no idea."

"i'm glad i'm the one that figured it out with you then," he relished. "i'm going to be entirely focused on you... and your pleasure today," spencer admitted.

"why?" you were baffled at the admission.

you had been with two other guys sexually, and you could say that neither of them had ever been so... generous as to let you be the focus of attention. let alone give you more than one orgasm.

"did you seriously just ask me why?" he questioned. "let's just think of this as the beginning of my apology," he smirked, looking into your eyes with both lust and endearment.

"am i one lucky lady or what?" you giggled, a small grin plastered on your face caused by the man in front of you. "but what if i want to... help you out?"

"oh believe me..." he chuckled. "you're more than helping me out by just laying there... looking how you look," he smiled, eyeing your body up and down.

"okayyy," you rolled your eyes. "whatever you say, genius."

"good. because that's how this is going to work right now," he said, his personality switching to that of a dominant one.

his hands trailed down to the waistband of your pants. you lifted your hips to help him take them off. when he noticed your choice of white lace underwear, he found himself wishing he hadn't taken your bra off.

"fuck, y/n," he sighed out, absolutely smitten with everything about you. "it's like you're trying to kill me." he announced before making his lips attach to your torso, trailing down.

you didn't know what he was doing at first. to you, he was just kissing your stomach. but then you realized that he was trailing down to your heat, you got nervous.

"y-you don't have to uhm... do that," you said, leaning up on your forearms to see him more clearly.

"you mean..." he placed his hands on your lace clad hips, you nodded. "princess, i've dreamt of how you'd taste on my tongue. i'm not missing out on that now," he practically demanded.

if you truly didn't want to do that, you knew spencer would stop. you just didn't want him to do something he didn't want.

"oh, uhm... okay," you agreed, rather eager of how this would feel for you.

"has nobody ever eaten you out before?" he questioned. you pursed your lips together and bit your bottom one before shaking your head no. "the guys you've been with must be absolutely insane. are you okay if i do that?" you nodded your head yes. "words, princess," he moved his hand to cup your face. "i need words."

"yes. yes it's okay if you... eatmeout," you blushed at the admission.

"thank god," he laughed before slowly pulling your panties down your legs and throwing them off the bed.

he spread your bent legs so he could place himself between them, his arms wrapped around your thighs and meeting back around your heat, spreading your pussy lips.

"fuuck... your pussy's so fucking pretty," he said, a finger trailing up your soaking slit. "and wet," he smirked.

your head leaned back as your body was still propped up on your forearms, a small moan leaving your mouth from the little contact he's made.

when your head tilted back up, he made eye contact with you as his tongue made a flat swipe up your pussy, collecting some of your juices.

"mmmm," you moaned, already enjoying the feeling of his tongue on your body.

"i could say the same, princess," he smiled widely. "you taste better than any meal i've had in ages," he admitted a with a grin before focusing on you again.

he pushed his tongue into your hole gently, tasting the inside of you, going in and out in a pattern before moving his tongue further up. he flicked it over your clit, over and over and over, your moans vibrating out into the room only spurring him on even more.

your hand found his hair, pushing him closer to your heat, your hips moving in a way to get more friction. he wrapped his lips around your clit before gently sucking it between his teeth, his tongue still moving back and forth over it.

"yes! just like that! yes!!" you exclaimed, your hand still pushing him closer to you.

he moved one of his hands from around your thighs and slowly entered a finger to your heat, sending your head flying back in pleasure.

"fuck!"

he began pushing his finger in and out of your pussy, curling them once they entered about two inches, adding another after he felt you were ready.

"right there! right fucking there, spencer! yes!" you cried out, tugging gently on his curls, a moan rippling through his body right onto your clit. "i'm so close! i'm so fucking close! please don't stop! please..." you trailed off as he became more aggressive in his actions.

he began pumping his fingers in and out at an impossible pace, still curling them at that soft rigid spot inside you. his tongue began flicking even quicker, sending you right over the edge into a pit of euphoria, your pussy clenching around his long fingers.

"spencer fucking reid! yes!!" you threw your head back as his eyes never left your face. "oh my god..." you said as he worked you through your orgasm.

you leaned up completely, looking at him in complete awe from how the man just made you feel. you placed your hands on both sides of his face, crashing his lips into yours. you could taste yourself on him as your tongues met.

when he pulled back, he wiped his chin from your juices and sucked them off of his fingers, never breaking eye contact from you.

"yea they were really missing out on that," spencer said with a wide grin.

"i think i've been missing out. and i'm also very aware about how... naked i am and how clothed you are," you raised your eyebrows suggestively. spencer just stared at you. "please, babes?" you asked with puppy dog eyes and pursed lips. spencer's heart welled at the nickname.

"since you asked so nicely," he said, connecting you lips once more as your arms went to his chest, beginning to unbutton hit shirt one by one. when you got halfway down, you felt his breath hitch, he was nervous.

"spencer... what is it?" you pulled back slowly, looking into his eyes. he began to close himself off, not looking you in the eyes. "you're feeling insecure," you stated, your hands finding his face again to meet his eyes with yours. "you, spencer walter reid, are the most attractive man i've probably ever laid eyes on. your eyes, your lips," you kissed him. "your hair," you ran a hand through his locks. "and your body," you traced his torso with your hands feather lightly.

"i'm just... not as muscular as your past boyfriends. i don't... i don't look like other guys you've been with," he sighed, looking back at his hands in his lap.

"spencer. you just made me orgasm twice in the past what? twenty minutes?" you baffled. "my past boyfriends have had trouble making me do that even once. you... are unbelievable," you complimented, ending it with a deep kiss. "besides, even if you were the ugliest guy on earth, i'd still love you and be attracted to you because you're you."

"thank you, y/n. i love you, too," he kissed the tip of your nose. "now... back to you," he said, placing a hand on the small of your back to lay you down, him hovering over you.

"such a gentleman," you said, finishing undoing his buttons as he shrugged the shirt off. "absolutely beautiful, spence."

it's not like you haven't seen his body before. you've been best friends for as long as you could remember and have seen him in nothing but a towel before. then again, you haven't seen him like that in this kind of setting before.

and spencer knows you don't care about that. he knows that you'd never judge him from his looks or his body, but he wants to be good enough for you, which is a major contradiction to the fact that he believes that nobody will ever deserve you.

he began fervently kissing you again, his tongue delving into your mouth with a hunger that couldn't ever be satiated. your hands traced the stubble on his face as his were propped at your head to keep him from falling over. you moved one of your hands to begin undoing the button on his pants eagerly, a chuckle emitting from him.

once you got it undone, he helped you pull both his pants and underwear down, leaving his bare erection against your thigh.

"oh," you said with a sly grin, a hand reaching down to begin stroking his length, a low moan leaving his mouth as your lips found his.

you quickly rolled the two of you over to put yourself on top. you straddled his hips on all fours, trailing kisses down his cheek, jaw, neck, torso, making your way to his rock hard cock.

you took his length in your hands, eyeing the noticeable length to it. he was perfect. he was long, but not too long to where it would kill you to take him, and thick, but not so thick that he would stretch you beyond belief.

you placed a gentle kiss to the tip which was already leaking with precum. you found the most prominent vein in his member before tracing it with your tongue, being sure to use light touches.

spencer was already squirming in the bed, in disbelief from the wonders your mouth could do already. lowly sighs and moans were leaving his mouth periodic with your movements.

you slowly lowered your mouth on his cock, paying special attention to the tip as you got further down. you moved your mouth up and down at a slow pace, keeping your eyes on spencer and how beautiful he looked with his slower breaths.

eventually, he couldn't stand just being inside your mouth. he wanted to be even closer to you. inside of you. he took hold of your jaw and pulled you back up his body, taking your lips in his.

"you're fucking amazing," spencer sighed into your mouth, taking note of the smile he felt against his own lips.

"yea?" he nodded as he smashed your lips together again before flipping the two of you over. you grabbed his hard cock and lined him up with your entrance.

"are you sure you want this?" spencer asked with care, stroking the hair on the side of your face.

"yes. yes i want it," you nodded eagerly.

spencer slowly entered his member into you, taking pleasure from the way your face contorted in pleasure. he took his time to fully sheath himself into you, allowing you the time you needed to adjust to his length.

you moved one hand to his shoulder and the other to the back of his head as your mouth formed in the shape of an 'o'.

"oh my god, spencer," your fingernails dug into the skin on his back as your other hand tugged on his hair harshly.

"fuck... you're tight, princess," he said as he began to slowly move out of you, only leaving the tip in before thrusting back inside, leading a moan from your mouth.

"i-i..." you trialed off, unable to speak from the pleasure you were feeling. "i... ohh,"" you mumbled.

"does it feel good? yea?" he asked you, one of his hands grasping your breast and massaging it gently. you couldn't say anything, you were speechless. you laid there with your mouth ajar as his thrusts continued at a leisurely pace. "can you not say anything? does my dick render you speechless, princess?" he teased.

"uh... huh," you squeaked as his mouth latched onto your nipple, his pace steadily increasing. "s-spen... ohhhh," you awed, feeling the pit in your stomach welling up again.

"fuck you feel so good," he mumbled on your breast as his hand began to gently and quickly circle your clit.

so many things were going on at once; the clitoral stimulation, the penetration, the nipple stimulation. you felt an overwhelming sense of pleasure rising up inside of you.

before you knew it, you were falling over the waterfall of pure ecstasy, taking spencer over the water with you.

spencer continued his thrusts a few more times, relishing in the way your pussy clenched around his member. you felt the spread of his own excitement cover your walls, a sensation you never want to forget as long as you lived.

"fuck..." spencer breathed out.

"mmhmm," you agreed, still unable to form a sentence from the pleasure you just experienced.

spencer slowly pulled out of you, trying his best not to hurt your still sensitive body. you held onto his torso, not wanting to separate your body from his.

"i'm going to carry you to the bathroom to clean you up. okay, princess?" spencer asked kindly, wiping your hairline that had a sheen of sweat built up.

"mmkay," you mumbled, wrapping your legs around him so he could pick you up koala style.

he set you down on the closed toilet, being sure to grab a clean washcloth and get it damp with warm water. he bent down on the floor in front of you, allowing your hands to grasp his shoulders for more stability.

he ran the washcloth over the trail of liquid running down your legs, being sure to use a gently touch once he got closer to your core. he ran the cloth over it softly, noticing the way your fingers dug into his back from the touch, the low hiss that exited through your nose.

"sorry, y/n/n. we just need to make sure you're all clean," he apologized, pulling back to look into your tired eyes. "uhm, you should probably use the restroom in order to avoid getting a uti," spencer informed you.

"never change, spencer reid. never change," you giggled, taking a deep breath in order to help your breathing. "and you're very right about those uti's. i should really go pee now," you looked into his eyes, him still not moving. "which means privacy, spence," you giggled, once again, noticing the smile that appeared onto his face.

"right," he laughed, patting your knee before standing back up and exiting the bathroom.

you did your business, and washed your hands before exiting the bathroom with a smile. you walked out of the bathroom, finding spencer in nothing but his boxers, sitting on the bed. you walked over to the bed and sat on spencer's lap, your knees bent and placed on the bed, straddling his legs.

spencer's arms hugged your torso, his eyes tried to avoid your still naked state. your hands went around his body, underneath his arms and bringing him into a tight hug.

"i'm sorry i ran away, spence. i should've talked to you about how that made me feel," you whispered into his ear.

"no, you shouldn't be sorry. i'm sorry. i knew about you past and i still said those thing to you," spencer sighed as his arms grip slightly tightened on you. "you drank because of me, y/n. i-i can't ever tell you how sorry i am for that."

"i know you're sorry, spence. i know," you breathed in his scent, relishing in the smell of sex and fresh laundry that remained on him. "maybe we could go to niagara falls together tomorrow?" you leaned back to look him in the eyes, taking note of his smile. "y'know, since we originally wanted to go to these places together anyway?"

"i uhm," spencer laughed, "i would love to, y/n."

"yaayyy!" you squealed, connecting your lips together passionately, managing to knock spencer over, him now laying on the bed. "i'm excited!!"

"me too. i can't wait," he smiled, moving a strand of your hair out of your face.

spencer still couldn't believe you loved him. he couldn't believe how lucky he was. you were perfect in every way, shape, and form.

the way you knew that after a tough case, he wouldn't want to talk about it. you would just hold him, and let him fall asleep on his chest.

the way you laughed at his terrible jokes, even if you didn't fully understand it. you tried your best to make him feel normal, and you succeeded in making him feel normal.

the way you listened to his rambling when he found something fascinating. you would always go up to him after the rest of the team shushed him, and asked him to continue what he was saying.

and your beauty was unprecedented to him. your bone structure that looked magnificent in every kind of light, every curve on your body - even the ones you were insecure about, the squinting of your eye when you laugh... everything.

"you okay, smartypants?" you asked, rolling off of his body and laying beside him. you propped your arm up so your head could rest in your hand as you looked at spencer.

"yea, i'm all good," the brown haired man said, turning to face you on his side. he draped his hand over your waist, bringing your body closer to his. "i'm just glad i'm here with you."

"i'm glad you're here too," you smiled, hugging him in return. "can we go to sleep now? i'm too tired to do anything right now," you giggled.

it was now dark outside, your hotel room window being able to display the darkness in a way that made it look like a beautiful painting. it was full of bright stars of different hues, pink, gold, and white, the moon shone into the window, perfectly illuminating the sculptures of the buildings outside the room.

"of course we can. anything you want, bubs," he grinned brightly. "i have one request to make," he began with a sly smile.

"you wanna lay on my chest?" you chuckled as he nodded eagerly. you opened your arms for him to lay on you. "come here, ya big baby."

spencer snuggled up into your arms, your bare chest acting like the best pillows in the world in his mind. you ran your hands through his hair as he nuzzled further into your embrace.

"do you think it'll be like this when we get back home?" spencer asked with a sense of yearning.

"umm, i don't know," and you didn't know. you didn't know if this is what life would be like with him. you didn't know if you were even ready for a life with him. "it could be, i suppose," you shrugged.

spencer picked up on the nerves the question brought you. the way your breath picked up and your heart rate sped slightly.

"i-is this what you want? u-us, i mean?" he wearily asked, afraid of what your answer might be.

"i've loved you for a long time, spence," you took a deep breath. "i just wish we didn't have to worry about the bureau or about the team and what they'd think."

"so let's not care what they think. we love each other... shouldn't that be enough?"

"it is enough. i promise," you kissed the top of his forehead. "i do want us."

"good," spencer smiled against your body. "goodnight, y/n. i love you."

"i love you."

#spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer #spencer x you #spence #smut #spencer reid smut #smutty spencer #dom!spencer #fluff

[mishacollinsthighsss]

HAPPY DESTIEL ANNIVERSARY!

(Again.)

So I know that I wanted to post a fic I've started for today, but since I just can't seem to finish it, I wrote something else down instead. It's not beta'd, there are probably many grammatical mistakes, but I just wanted to get it out here to celebrate one year of The Angel and The Righteous Man.

Enjoy! :)

It's just fluff, pure fluff, so no need to worry.

"Alright Cas, cut it," Dean mumbled, while he put the vegetables in the fridge with a grumble. For weeks now, Cas had been trying to get Dean to eat healthier, to go on runs together, all that shit that Dean didn't need, and it was driving him crazy.

"But Dean, you're getting older, which means -"

"Could you shut up for just a day?" Dean interrupted with an eyeroll and closed the fridge a little louder than necessary. Cas sighed and stood up from the chair he'd been sitting on, coming closer, and just like that, Dean's anger melted away, seeing his former angel in all his beauty, right in front of him. He couldn't help it and opened his arms, pulling the other one closer at his hips, until there were only mere inches apart.

"I get it, you're worried, but I got checked by a doctor just a week ago, and I'm fine," Dean mumbled, before he placed a soft kiss on the other man's nose. The closeness made Dean realize that Cas had gotten older as well. There were more wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead, the dark circles he had below his eyes for the first half of every day were just a little darker than normal, but God, Dean loved him.

"I just don't want to lose you," Cas admitted quietly, while he wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders, burying his face at his neck, and Dean had to smile, like always when Cas got a little too clingy.

"I know angel, I know. Don't wanna lose you as well," he replied, his voice just a whisper, but even Dean could hear how filled with feelings those words were.

"One year ago today..." Cas started, but before he continued, he lifted his head to look right into Dean's eyes. Dean got lost in them, as always, and his lips parted, because he thought Cas was going to kiss him, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry that I've hurt you, Dean. I'm sorry that I left, but back then, I didn't know. I - I seriously thought -"

"Okay, okay, not a word about it anymore," Dean interrupted, his eyes already filling with tears again by the reminder of Cas getting taken, right in front of his eyes.

"We got you back, I got you back, that's all that matters. I love you, Cas. I love you so much, and nothing's gonna change that, alright?"

Cas looked at Dean for a few more moments, before he nodded and a smile appeared on his face, a smile so bright that the sun would look dull and lifeless next to it. God, Dean couldn't get enough of seeing Cas happy.

"I love you too, Dean. More than anything."

Dean started to smile too, while his heart started racing once again. Even a year later, he felt like a teenager hearing those three words for the first time, and he was pretty sure that it wouldn't change anytime soon.

When Cas lifted his hands to cup Dean's face, so careful that it made Dean's vision go blurry once again, a sigh escaped him, deep and relaxed and happy. For the longest time, Dean thought he wouldn't ever be able to be happy, but Castiel had proved him wrong so many times now, in so many different ways.

The smile still tugging on the corners of his mouth he leaned forward, catching Cas' lips with his own, kissing the other man like his life depended on it. He could feel Cas kissing him back just as enthusiastically, and when they parted and Dean looked around in their kitchen, which belonged to a beautiful, small house - yes Dean, I want the white picket fence... and a cat - Dean knew that this, right there, a life with Cas, his brother and Eileen safe two towns over - Jack switching between staying at Jody's, with Sam and Eileen and with Dean and Cas -, was everything he could've ever dreamt of, and luckily, Cas was stubborn enough that he'd actually gotten it.

***

Tag list: @charliesfandomlife @sam--ships--it @green-blue-heller @professorerudite @despairingtruth @jmlovers @spnmrvlshrlck @melly-the-crazy-coconut @thebluelynxx @lulu-zodiac @bigartpuppy @fuckingupthetimeline @jeherion @greenpugmire

DM/Comment to be added/removed 💙

#dean winchester #castiel #destiel #destiel fanfiction #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #deancas #deancas fanfiction #deancas fanfic #deancas fic #happy nov 5th #JasWrites

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

thank you so much for doing this!!! these letters are so lovely <33

--

To: [email protected]

Your work is stupid. You know why? Because your work makes you have this obnoxious trips that keep my boyfriend away. They're very stupid. Racist even. Have you heard of latinophobia? This is it, and now you're a victim by proxy. Get well soon.

In all seriousness, I do lowkey hate it. I'm so glad you get to fly on first class and they're giving you good food, but I can't help but miss you a lot today, Porco. I'm not sure why-- maybe I dreamt about you and I don't quite remember it. All I know is I wish you were here right now. I have put on one of your sweatshirts and while it does help, it's not enough.

I do not want to make you feel guilty by any means. It's only a week after all, but I'm feeling needy as I write this. Valentine's is coming and while I know you'll be here by then, I can't help but think what if your trip gets longer? What if there aren't flights available? What if--

You get an idea.

Anyway, I don't want this to be long. Just know that I miss you. That you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Of course, I am proud of the things I've accomplished, but meeting you? Getting the chance to love and, oh, /be loved/ by you? Fucking amazing. Nothing will ever compare.

I long to have you asleep in my arms again. To be lulled to sleep by your steady breathing and now that whatever life may throw at me, I'll never have to face it alone. That you're always by my side, holding my hand through the tough times and getting drunk during the good times. I'm so lucky to have a man like you in my life, mi amor, mi vida, mi cielo.

Thank you for never being afraid of my fire, of my drive-- fuck, you even make me feel stronger. More powerful. Thank you for never asking me to be less of myself. Thank you for loving me not for what I can offer, but for what I am. Thank you for loving me so much, it inspires me to be a better human.

Have a safe flight and only flirt with the hostesses if you think they will give you a free drink or something <3

Yours, as I now only know how to be,

Allie

A/N: wfoiuehsglehwrg @6ird6rain allie im love u sm 🥺 thank you for sending me a letter! Happy Valentines Day!!

Heya baaaby

I know, I know. Work sucks. What kind of job doesn't let me take my wifey with me. Rude. You know what? I thought about quitting the moment I get back. But then, baby, you might have to say goodbye to those fancy snacks you like so much, you know, the ones you don't share with me? Truly. I am the one keeping this household supplied with snacks. What would you do without me.

Maybe when I'm back you can tell me about that dream you had. Was it...spicy? I am waggling my eyebrows at you here. Please imagine it.

I know you're doing that thing you do when you worry, so let me spoil my own surprise just a little. IM FLYING HOME BAABY!!! I managed to put on the ol Porco charm with the clients, and guess who gets to come home early! YAH BOI!

I already texted you my flight details, so don't worry too much okay? You can keep the sweatshirt on in the meantime, you know how much I like to snuggle you when you're all bundled up in my stuff. So damn cute I tell you. So damn cute.

If I knew you'd go soft on me when I am leave for a week, I should volunteer to go on business trips more often! I like this mushy gushy you. But really baby, I missed you sooo much! The hotel beds smelled weird, not like you. The blanket was also way too big. Its not the same when I don't have to wrestle you for it. I even tried hugging the pillow to go to sleep, but its not the same without you. Next time, I'm requesting you come along with me for personal health reasons. Can't get good rest without you. You think they will let that fly? (HAH GET IT??)

I love you so, so much. I know I'm not good at the mushy, but I'm really so lucky to have met you. Who knew, that all it took was a shitty coffee lid and a giant stain on my favourite sweater to meet the love of my life! It only took less than a week long trip for me to realize I am shit at living without you. I really am the luckiest, (and handsomest) man on earth to call you mine, and can't wait to be with you again!

Miss you so much. See you soon Dove.

Porco

P.S. I did flirt with the hostess. And she gave me a free drink and an extra bag of snacks! I had the drink already, but I'm saving you the snacks. Don't be too impressed, I know I'm good.

#WHY IS THIS SO MUCH FUN #WHY IS PORCO SUCH A CHEEKY GUY IN MY HEAD #I hope this is okay Allie 🥺🥺🥺 #happy valentines day! #suz.writes. #porco x reader #Valentines Day Event 2022 #suz's inbox #sender - 6ird6brain

[syuga-s]

The Last Time

w.c 4.3k

pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader

genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️

Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.

For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.

You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.

The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.

And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.

How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...

But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.

"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.

Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.

But that didn't last long.

"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.

You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.

“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".

You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.

It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.

"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"

"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.

In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.

"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".

Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?

You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.

"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.

"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"

You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.

Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.

That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.

As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.

You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?

You had left each other in the cold back then.

He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"

You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".

He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.

He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.

It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?

You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.

You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".

You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.

He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?

"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".

"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"

You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.

But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.

Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.

"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.

The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.

When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.

“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.

You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.

You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.

When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.

You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.

He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.

Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.

I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.

──────────────────────

You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.

When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.

Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.

The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.

It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.

You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.

A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.

But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.

You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.

Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.

Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.

Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?

You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.

I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.

When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.

He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?

The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.

“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“

There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.

“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.

“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.

“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.

At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.

You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.

Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.

You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.

But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.

Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.

You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.

Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.

Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.

You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.

The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.

He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.

Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.

You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.

You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.

Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.

There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.

Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.

What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.

Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.

He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.

He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.

“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”

But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.

It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.

──────────────────────

I still love you

(9:05 p.m.)

no, I don’t

(9:06 p.m.)

I’m confused why did this happen

(2:26 a.m.)

I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.

(10:45 a.m.)

I kind of hate you for changing your number

(8:57 p.m.)

I’m sorry

(1:43 a.m.)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened

(3:37 a.m.)

why can’t things be like they were before

(10:13 a.m.)

please come back to me. I need you. You need me

(1:58 a.m.)

I still want you

(4:06 a.m.)

──────────────────────

The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.

That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.

──────────────────────

“I wonder why” You smirked at him.

The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.

His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.

“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.

“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.

“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.

“I was scared to lose you”.

“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.

“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.

“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.

You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.

“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.

“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.

You didn’t know where to start, either.

There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.

“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.

“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.

It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.

You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.

You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.

“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.

“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.

“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”. 

“You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.

You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.

You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.

You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.

“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.

“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.

He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.

“I feel so different now”.

“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.

While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.

“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.

You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.

You didn’t know what to do after his following words.

“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”

You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.

#monsta x #jooheon #joohoney #jooheon imagines #jooheon oneshot #jooheon monsta x #jooheon angst #jooheon fluff #monsta x fanfic #jooheon fanfic #monsta x fluff #monsta x angst

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Inked

Still on hiatus. But I found an old piece of writing and I revamped it just a smidge! It was originally published in 2018 on calumh-excess. Which is now deactivated. Hooray for finding pieces!

Calum's been watching Jay for a while. She's cute, talented, but a bit of mystery. Should he really give into her? What will it take for him to admit he has a crush?

Enjoy my masterlist (on hiatus)

______________

He watched her sometimes for far too long. The way her tongue stuck out as she pulled the skin and her hand worked steadily with the needle made it hard for him to resist. Her face always seemed to catch the harsh fluorescent lights and reflect it back so that it twinkled against her skin. A slight sheen, but nothing just of ethereal. He wasn’t even interested in any new ink, not seriously anyway. He had slowed on the ink train, but the shop his tattoo artist owned was a nice place to hang out sometimes. When he wanted to get out of his house but didn’t want to actually go somewhere, he could hang out here, listening to the buzz of the tattoo gun, poke his hand at trying a design here or there. They weren't great. He hadn't considered him this kind of artist, but the shop felt like a second home.

Besides, having her around was a more than welcomed bonus.

He wasn’t even sure what it was about her. She showed up about a year and a half ago, under an apprenticeship. Calum’s artist was unsure of her, much like everyone else that asked to work under him. A hazard of the job, according to the job, according to Calum's artist. However, her drawings spoke volumes; the colors and line work were impeccable. She had talent and knew it without being cocky about it. Well, sometimes she wasn’t. Calum watched her run into the occasional asshole that tried to belittle her; she always put her foot down in those situations. He didn’t fault her.

Today’s no different. When Calum walks in, he greets the guy at the front desk, eyes searching for her. He spots her in the back with her oversized frames creating a small glare over her brown eyes. He never quite got the appeal of the grandma-shaped glasses trend, but on her, they worked. She looked wise but soft. The glass pulled him in, felt like she was seeing into his soul. Maybe she was; maybe the pain made people more vulnerable than they anticipated--entrusting someone, a stranger in some ways, to permanently mark you and not fuck it up. Whatever the reason, looking at her felt timeless. Like she had seen it all, and you are just waiting for you to spill all the secrets.

“You finally going to get some new ink?” Calum’s artist teases.

Calum shakes his head, turning his attention away from her. “You finally took her training wheels off?”

“Your girlfriend’s got mad skills. I couldn’t baby her forever. Jay works hard on each piece, learned fast. Got a steady ass hand and pretty gentle for handling a needle.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, because you haven’t hardly even talked to her. Go for it, you wuss. What’s the worst she says? No?”

Calum exhales a chuckle. "I mean, the worst she stabs me with the tattoo gun. But considering the ink I'm already sporting, I doubt that's really all that bad.”

“Jay would not do that unless you asked for it, ff course. But really, go on, ask her out.”

Calum glances back at Jay. It’s a nickname. No one in the shop calls her by her full name. The only reason Calum heard it was when a client came asking for her. Jay was quick to correct them.

She wipes, clearing excess ink, before dipping back into the small cup. Jay smiles up at her client. Calum's sure they appreciate the reprise. Getting tattoos weren't always fun, but bearable enough to forget about it and get more.

Calum turns his gaze away. “I recommended you to a friend,” he says, hoping that he’ll escape the teasing. It’s not likely to happen. But at least he tries to minimize the ridicule.

"I appreciate it. Are they a first-timer?"

"A second-timer, but they're visiting town and want some new ink. I figured best not to fuck them over."

The two men laugh before Calum's escorted back to look through some new designs. Just in case something sparks his interest. Calum's visit is supposed to be short, but there's not much else on his to-do list for the day. He could kill a few hours here.

When Calum comes out from the back, after spending too much time pretending art was ever a talent of his, he looks for Jay again. She’s not in her corner, nor is she at the front. Calum shrugs, figuring she might have gone for lunch, or home depending.

As Calum walks to his car, he checks his phone. Nothing major's happened.

“Leaving so soon?” A voice states. Calum knows that voice, a little gravelly, mostly sweet. He’s dreamt of it every so often. He prays to hear it when he visits the shop.

He turns to Jay, who leans against the bricks. A vape is wrapped in her fingers. “Gotta get some dinner, maybe make a run to the grocery store," Calum returns. "I've gotten lazy."

She nods. “This reminds me that I can't survive off BLTs forever," she laughs.

"You could try, but I think you'd need other vegetables and some fruit in that mix too."

She pushes up on her glass with a nod. "Ah, yes, gotta get the whole food pyramid." It goes silent between them and Calum gives another nod, raising a few fingers to signal his departure while still keeping his phone in a secure enough grip.

"Hey, wait!" Jay calls out again, taking a half step forward. Calum turns to her. "Can I give you something before you leave?”

Calum nods, not trusting his voice. What would she give him? She nods back to the front door, taking back that initial half-step. “It's inside. Give me like two minutes.”

She disappears inside and Calum stands, his phone still in his hands, staring at the spot she once stood. Just as quickly as she disappeared, Jay reappears. In hand is her portfolio. She flips through before stopping and slides the heavy-duty drawing paper out.

Calum stares down at the green and black drawing. It’s his face, for the most part, that stares back at him. It’s distorted by a crystal ball that glows green. Inside are some instruments and something else, but right now he can’t really put it all together. His eyes keep moving over the lightning bolt, the crystal ball, the uncanniness of his face on a piece of paper, his three-dimensional face somehow translated perfectly into a 2-D space.

“Holy shit, this is amazing,” he breathes. “Thank you,” he says looking back up to her.

She shrugs with a smile. “You’re welcome.”

“Seriously, this is so fucking awesome. I’m going to frame it,” he gushes. He’s too excited to be nervous, or be embarrassed. "What are the dimensions?"

“I'm just really glad you don’t find it too creepy. I was watching you a couple weeks ago when you stopped by. It just sort hit me, the image of the crystal ball and lightning bolt; I had to draw it,” Jay elaborates. "And it's 8.5 by 11--standard printer paper size."

Calum shakes his head, staring over the drawing again. It feels so delicate suddenly in his hands. It’s almost like Jay recognizes the change in his handling. She shuffles her load in her hands and pulls out an empty plastic over. “Here,” she laughs handing it over. “So it doesn’t smudge or anything if you're worried."

Calum slides it in. “Thank you. Again. Seriously.”

“You’re welcome, Calum. Good luck with your grocery store trip and dinner,” Jay nods and then heads back inside. Calum watches the way the denim stretches across her hips, the way her hair billows just a little in the breeze of her strut.

For a moment, Calum can't move. The weight of the paper in his hand is hardly ounces, but it holds him--traps him to the point of the sidewalk. Jay thought enough of him to draw him. What did it all mean? Should he have found the courage to ask her out? He could walk back inside. But what if she didn't like him like that? Would it be too weird?

Calum blinks up into the hardly settling sun and thinks to himself, the second he can come back here, it better be with a bit more courage and possibly a gift certificate. No one can be made about free food, right?

It’s months before Calum can visit the shop again. The tour is a whirlwind and he only gets a few days off between legs. Not long enough to get back home or feel like he had any energy to drive out to the shop. But now that he's settled back in at home, he knows exactly where he's going.

It’s not his typical practice to just walk in and ask for a tattoo. But given the ink already on him, worse things could happen. When he pulls open the door, he notices it's kind of slow. Jay greets him at the front desk. “Hey, stranger,” she grins.

“Hey, how are you?” he asks in return.

“Pretty good. How was it? The tour? See any cool places?”

He nods. “Yeah, got to explore a few cities.” He taps his fingers against the wooden desk. “Do you have an appointment anytime soon?”

Jay shakes her head. “My 2 o’clock had to reschedule. I’m here until 4 before I see anyone. Why? What's tickling your fancy?”

“I was wondering if you could do a tat for me? I know this is very last minute and if you need me to come in another day this week, I totally can.” His words run into each other; his palms start to sweat. He wipes them on his jeans.

Jay laughs, holding up a hand. “Whoa, pump the brakes. One, what are you looking for?”

“You know that drawing you did for me?” She nods. “I was kind of hoping you could create something with just the crystal ball and lightning bolt. I know the drawing itself is kind of big.”

A grin lifts her cheeks; Calum’s heart settles for a second. “I think I can do that. Where are you thinking to put it?”

“Inner bicep.” He watches her gaze land on his arm. The t-shirt is baggy, he at least thought about that with enough advance.

“Give me 30 minutes to come up with some sketches.” Jay pushes away from the front desk and heads to the back, but not for calling to the shop to watch the front desk.

Calum slides into the seat at the front, leg bouncing as he settles down. This isn’t even his first tattoo, but the nerves flood his body. His scalp tingles. The thirty minutes move by too fast, but also too slow simultaneously. The seconds feel like hours but move by milliseconds.

Eventually, Jay resurfaces, waving him over to her. He walks back and looks at the sketches she places out in front of him. There are two different ones. One’s a bit more minimalistic, which is her style, with the lightning bolt in the background and a simple crystal ball at the point. The other is a bit bolder, the ball has a slightly warped edge where it connects to the bolt. It looks like the bolt is melting the glass ball.

“I can whip up more if neither one of them are quite right. But I wasn’t sure if it wanted something a bit more crisp and sharp or not,” Jay explains.

Calum admits that most of his tattoos are more cleaned up and sharp. He likes the idea of playing with a new style. “I like the second one,” he says, tapping it.

“You sure?” He nods, he’s never been more sure of something in his life. “Which bicep? Let me line it up and make sure it’ll fit.”

Calum lifts his left arm up for her. Laying the stencil over his skin, Jay notes she has to make a couple small tweaks. But after that, she’ll be ready. They discuss full color, or just outline, or shading, price, and a few other details before Jay concludes with, “Hop in my seat. I’ll be there soon.”

Calum nods and walks over to her station. Her stuff is already laid out, probably for her canceled 2 o’clock. It’s about five more minutes before Jay returns with the final stencil. Calum rolls up the sleeve of his shirt before she places the stencil. Happy with the placement, he stretches out on the table.

Jay gets herself ready before she brings the needle over his skin. The first puncture always makes him jolt a little, the first jab of pain causes his heart to race. “Do you plan on relaxing now that you're back home?"

"Yeah, for a little bit. I might go see my family, but I know we'll be back in the studio soon. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"I mean exciting things happen every day at this place. But it's not like I could recall them all now."

Calum hums, acknowledging her statement, but not quite sure what to say next. Luckily, Jay's faster to fill in the silence. "You do realize you didn’t have to get a tattoo to have a real conversation with me?” Jay teases, pushing up her glasses.

Calum’s cheeks heat. “It’s not like that,” he chuckles.

“Well, that’s how it seems.”

“You were always busy when I stopped by. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Not always,” she laughs. “But it’s alright. You’re going to have plenty of time while I’m stabbing you to say all those things you didn’t.”

A chuckle escapes him; of course, Jay would have this sense of humor. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m paying so much for people just to stab me and act as a therapy. Maybe I am a masochist.”

“So are a lot of people. Sometimes you just take the emotional pain out in the physical realm.”

“I always imagined people that worked in a tattoo shop to be more heavily tatted,” Calum hums, taking in scattered ink across her arms and one pokes out from the V in her t-shirt.

“I focused it more on my back and legs and not so much my arms. I’m getting there. So, why this one today?”

Calum goes to shrug, but stops himself as he hears the gun nearing his skin again. “Not really sure. It looked cool. I guess it also serves to remind me that fate isn’t linear. There’s going to be twists and turns, maybe some trouble. And that’s okay. Don’t be afraid of the journey. Also, it's really fucking cool art.”

Jay hums her laugh, “Why thank you. Wise brain you got there. Besides, it seems like you also have people you keep close to you.” She eyes the initials and the name under the bird. “Whoever they are to you, I hope you all stay close.”

“Those are my parents' initials,” he explains. “And my sister’s name. They’ve been with me through it all--I love them dearly.”

“So sweet. I wish my parents and I were closer. I tattooed my brother’s jersey number on me. It was my first tattoo.”

“What did he play?”

“Soccer, or for your kind, football.”

“Hey now, it’s played with the feet, it makes much more sense.”

Jay laughs, wiping off excess ink. She cocks her head to the side a little, then goes back in for the black ink. “I’m only teasing. Us Americans are so dumb sometimes. Like why is our football not called something else? Literally, the only thing that happens with the feet is the running. We carry the fucking ball.”

“I’ve wondered that as well!” he laughs. "Does your brother still play?"

“Yeah, the whole knucklehead still plays for his college.”

“What position?”

Jay laughs. “I'll have you know my job as the older sister is to show up and cheer him on. Something defensive? I don’t remember off the top my head.”

“I’ll give you credit for that. I’m sure he appreciates it.”

“He does until he sees with me in face paint on and then he’s acting like he doesn’t know me. Oh, oh wait, I think remember what he does. It’s defensive,” she pauses, lips pursed together, “something fielder.”

“Defensive midfielder?” he asks.

“Yeah, that. But like I said, I show up when I can and scream. That’s it. When he’s old enough, I’ll buy him a beer after his games too.”

“How old is he?”

“Nineteen, we’re three years apart.”

“The only sibling you have?”

“Nah, got a baby sister too. She’s fifteen. If you’re impressed by my eyeshadow thank her. Because she’s the one that taught me how to do it.”

Calum finds himself staring at the red and gold coloring her eyelids. “It looks really nice,” he breathes.

“Why thank you.” She pauses to bats her eyelashes. “I even managed to get those godforsaken falsies on right too. They look good, but the raise hell.”

“I think you’re the first woman I’ve met in LA that’s not obsessed with makeup,” he notes.

“Oh, you were doing so well. There are a lot of people of who aren’t huge in the makeup scene.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he tries to backtrack. “I’m sorry. In my experience, it’s not like that. They’re hiding the fact they aren’t wearing makeup--embarrassed by it or something.”

Jay nods, pushing up her glasses yet again. “Yeah, it’s not easy. We’re told to be perfect, but in reality, we’re just like everyone. We’re human, imperfect and flaw-full and beautiful.”

“Not in spite of, but because of.”

“Exactly,” she chuckles. Silences settles in around them. Calum wonders why she said she was closer to her family, but the way she talks about her siblings doesn’t match. She’s cheering her brother on at his game; she’s sitting down to learn makeup with and from her sister.

“Can I ask a bit of a personal question?” he asks.

“What kind of personal? Do I get a lifeline?”

Cal exhales a laugh. “You can always say no.”

“Hit me with it.”

“Why say that you’re family isn’t close but you clearly take a lot of pride in your siblings?”

“An observant one on my table, I see. It’s my parents. They don’t like that I’m pansexual, say I’m going to hell. My siblings don’t fucking care. I’m still the crazy-ass sister that loves and supports them.”

With a hum of acknowledgment from Calum, it goes quiet again around them for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He knows it doesn’t really fix anything for her; it doesn’t take away the potential years of her suffering. It’s the only thing he can offer her though. It feels right to say.

“Oh, no need for you to be sorry. It’s not like you threw me out of the house.”

“Ouch. You’re making it though right?”

“Yeah, now that I work here, things are on the up and up.”

“That’s good; I’m glad.”

“Thanks.”

“Favorite tattoo you’ve done?” he asks, wanting to hear her voice again.

“This one,” she laughs. “Though I had someone ask for a pin-up witch, which was also pretty fucking cool to do.”

Calum remembers seeing that on her Instagram. “That one was amazing! Her lips looked so good; I know that’s a strange thing to admit.”

“Don’t worry. I am quite proud of that myself.”

“Do you have a favorite tattoo on you?”

“The blue jay on my shoulder. My parents would take me on walks when I was still an infant. According to the legend, while they were sitting on a park bench a blue jay landed on me. I didn’t cry; it didn’t hurt me. It just landed for a second and then flew off. They called me Blue Jay ever since. I just shortened the nickname as I got older.” She gives one more wipe. “Finished. Check it out.”

Calum sits up, walking over to the mirror. He grins seeing the melting ball sitting against his skin. He grins over to Jay. “It looks amazing. Thank you.”

“No problem.” They head back over to her station. Jay cleans it and wraps the fresh ink. Calum carefully gets his sleeve back down with a little help from Jay. He pays their agreed price with his card, but slides two fifties over to her. “You do know that’s more than double a twenty percent tip right?”

Calum shrugs. “Is it? I’m bad at math,” he grins. “Treat your sister to a new palette or something. Treat yourself to something.”

“Thank you. Now next time, you come by, I hope we don’t talk while I’m stabbing you repeatedly.”

Calum shakes his head, a grin still on his face. Of course. He had forgotten to get the gift certificate. But possibly asking Jay to dinner wouldn't be such a bad idea. “Give me your number and I can promise the next time we talk, it won’t in your chair.”

She holds out her hand, waiting. He hands her his phone, after unlocking it. She puts her number in. She goes to hand the phone back but just before his fingers touch it, she draws it back. "I mean it--actually text me. I adore memes, dogs, TikToks, your favorite songs."

"I'll actually talk to you. I promise."

Jay hands over his phone with a smile. Calum steps outside the glass doors. Why should he wait? He could do it now. For fuck sake, the last hour had been the groundwork for a clear sign a date was absolutely an option. His fingers hovering over her name. He taps it, and then presses for a call. Holding the phone to his ear, he listens to it ring for a second.

“I can still see you, you know?” Jay laughs.

Calum turns around, catching her leaning against the front desk. “I told you the next time we talked you wouldn’t be inking me.”

“What can I help you with, Calum?”

“Dinner, tonight-- I may have ordered too many appetizers for just little old me."

Her laugh trickles in over the speaker. She drops her head, giving it a shake before looking back up to him in the afternoon sun. “I think I can help you with that. Give me the time and place."

Calum rattles off the name of a restaurant that he had been wanting to try. Nothing too upscale, but not something that would be too casual. "How does 8 sound?"

"I love it there. I'll see you at 8."

“Bye, Jay.”

“Bye, Calum.” As he walks to his car, his phone buzzes yet again. This time a text from his artist, I’m being fucking replaced, I see. I can’t be too mad since it’s Jay. Calum laughs as he slides into his car. Maybe he is getting replaced; maybe he’s not. Calum’s not sure. He is sure that he needs to figure out if he can make reservations and what to wear for tonight.

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #calum hood 5sos #calum 5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine #5sos fic #calum hood fic #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer imagine #h writes

[cdt12345]

We've been friends many years but I've never thought to ask; Top 10 gay OTPs?

1.) Ian & Mickey (Gallavich) - Shameless us

What can I say about these two that we haven’t already said about them?! They are my absolute all-time favorite couple ever! Gay or straight. They perfectly complement each other, they love each other on a level I feel like I’ve never seen before (and I have watched a lot of tv/movies), they’re like a comedy duo, they support each other, understand each other better than anyone else ever will, they fell in love as kids, they bring out the best in each other, and they’re each other's best friend. I’m a sucker for opposites attract, who are also best friends. Gallavich really fits that bill. I wish they didn’t have to struggle so much to get their happiness, but I’m happy they finally got it. When they got married, it felt like the biggest victory ever! We went through those years of struggle with them, rooted for them, mourned for them when John Wells let Noel go after season 5. So much has tried to keep these two apart, even real-life circumstances tried to keep them apart. The chemistry between these two characters and between Cameron and Noel was so powerful, they were brought back to the show. That kind of thing doesn’t happen very often. When an actor leaves a show, they don’t usually come back as a series regular, let alone two actors who have already left the show. It felt like a miracle! I will never forget getting the news that Noel was coming back from you @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog I was crying with happiness bc we wanted this for so long and I never believed we would get to see both Cameron and Noel back on the show. Or that they would get their happy ending outside of a jail cell. Especially after Cameron left the show in season 9. With their return we got a wedding, an entire season of them as a married couple, we got to see them dance with each other twice, we got them singing together, we got to see them start a lucrative business together, we got to see them free and happier than we’ve ever seen them before, and we got to see Terry get what he deserved after putting them through hell. We are only halfway through season 11, but I already feel so fulfilled with this extra time with gallavich that we were never supposed to have. JW tried to take that away from us. I will never understand why, but he failed. I am not surprised this is the one I wrote the most about. I can go on and on about gallavich!

2.) David and Patrick - Schitt’s Creek

This was everything I ever wanted to see onscreen, where there was zero homophobia. The pansexual character didn’t need to have a big coming out or tell everyone in the town of his sexual orientation, except his best friend. The gay character had a coming out with parents who loved and accepted him for who he is and was only upset that he felt he couldn’t tell them sooner. I dreamt of a day where I could see this kind of representation onscreen. The casual treatment of their sexuality was so refreshing and something I’ve been waiting for. There is no darkness or huge struggle they had to overcome to be together or a sad ending for them. They were allowed to be together without the major conflicts most LGBTQ characters have to go through. Once David made the first move Patrick was comfortable allowing himself to fall for David and start a relationship with him. He was so sure of his feelings for David after that first kiss, he never looked back and I loved that. They had such an adorable love story. Truly one I have been waiting to see for so long between two LGBTQ characters. They made me smile every time they were on screen. They are another of my OTPs that are exact opposites who complement each other perfectly. Patrick was welcomed into David’s family and blended in with them so well, even when he and David had very different upbringings. Patrick serenading David with Tina Turner and then Mariah Carey at their wedding is one of the most romantic things I have ever seen!

3.) Holt and Kevin - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Holt and Kevin are strange men on their own but together they are the perfect pair. They get each other in a way no one else does. The best part is their adorable fur baby, Cheddar! They seriously make the cutest family! I was so nervous when they went through a rough patch for a while because I didn’t want them to split up. Thankfully, they made it through and are still going strong!

4.) Will and Vince - Will & Grace

On the show's first run, Will and Vince were in a serious relationship and Vince was Will’s longest relationship on the show. They broke up a few times but were together by the series finale. The two reunite during the funeral of Will's father. There was a time jump on the series finale. Though I didn’t love everything about the last episode, I did love the fact that Will and Vince had been together for 20 years and raised a son together, who was conceived through in vitro fertilization with a surrogate. After the time jump, nearly twenty years later, their son goes to college and meets Grace's daughter, whom he would eventually marry. Though I wasn’t happy with the fact that Will and Grace didn’t stay close over the years, it did allow for their kids to one day meet, fall in love, and get married. I did like that outcome out of the finale. My family and I used to watch the original show, but we refused to accept or watch the 2017 revival because they completely changed everything from the original series finale. The second I found out they were changing everything; I knew I couldn’t watch it. They even wiped the existence of their kids from the first series finale. The revival was an attempt to cash in on the reboot craze and I wasn’t happy about that already, but even more so when they were going to break up one of my OTPs for easy money. Bobby Cannavale, who played Vince, has become even more famous since starring in Will & Grace. So, I already figured he wouldn’t be back for the show as a regular, but I know he did guest star. I won’t accept the revival and to me, Will and Vince stayed together, and their son married Grace’s daughter. THE END!

5.) Albert and Armand - The Birdcage

Miss Albert and Armand were the earliest gay couple I remember ever watching onscreen when I was eight years old. I have watched this movie more than I can count over the years. It is a family favorite that we quote often. Their son is planning to marry a girl whose father is in politics and is very conservative. They have to hide the fact that he has two gay fathers for one night, but everything goes awry, and comedy ensues. Nathan Lane and Robin Williams give a wonderful performance without resorting to using the stereotypes that are often used on gay characters, especially back then. It’s a classic!

6.) Stefon and Seth - Saturday Night Live

Okay, hear me out on this one! They’re not the most conventional OTPs on my list, but I really do love them so much! Stefon started doing a correspondent segment on Weekend Update on SNL. The first time Stefon came on, he flirted with Seth Meyers. The second he did I was like ooh they would make a cute couple! Stefon the wild party guy and Seth the serious news anchor. It was a match made in heaven for me. Before Seth Meyers left SNL to do Late Night with Seth Meyers, Bill Hader came back to play Stefon for Seth’s last episode. I didn’t expect what happened next to happen at all! They gave Seth and Stefon the ending that I haven’t even gotten from some actual scripted shows. I never expected Stefon and Seth to have this big ending, but I could not be happier that they did. I’m posting the link to the six-minute skit/ending and I hope it works. It’s worth watching. Though the video says it’s Stefon’s farewell it was really Seth’s farewell episode.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj-wYWMdWNk

7.) Mr. Simmons and Peter - Hey Arnold!

Anyone who grew up watching this show already knew that Mr. Simmons, Arnold’s teacher, was probably gay. It was hinted at in the Thanksgiving episode. Arnold and Helga visit Mr. Simmons on Thanksgiving at his house and his family and “friend” Peter are there. Mr. Simmons mother says she didn’t know Peter was coming to dinner and Peter responds with the infamous line “There’s a lot of things you don’t know.” When Mr. Simmons mom tries to get him to take a woman friend to the ballet, he says he loves the ballet and Peter gives him a disapproving look and Mr. Simmons immediately declines. Those were enough hints for us fans to decide Peter was his boyfriend. Years later, the show's creator Craig Bartlett finally confirmed Mr. Simmons is gay and had them together in the 2017 Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie. It was so exciting to finally get the confirmation years later, even though I was already certain of it for many years. I was happy that the cartoon no longer had to settle with vague hints about it.

8.) Callie and Arizona - Grey’s Anatomy

I was very happy to see a lesbian couple on prime time tv and I really liked both characters. I was excited to root for them but sadly as most couples on this show, their relationship took a turn, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. I was disappointed that it came to an end. By then I was already getting tired of watching the show. It was starting to feel like a chore to watch it every week. I tried to stick it out because I don’t like to give up on shows in the middle of it, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m glad I did though because the shocking events with Derek Shepard, is something I’m glad I wasn’t around for. Anyway, I heard things between Callie and Arizona got even worse, so I was even happier I left when I did.

9.) Sherwin and Jonathan - In a Heartbeat

This was one of the cutest things I have ever seen! I wish this got the full-length movie treatment instead of a short film. But it was still a step in the right direction for the LGBTQ community. Gay characters in cartoons always bring me such joy and that was the focus of this short. A boy with a crush on another boy with a cute ending. What is not to love?!

10.) Mitch and Cam - Modern Family

Another show I had to give up on in the middle of the series. The show began to be less funny and more annoying to me. Another reason, that really has nothing to do with the show itself, that used to annoy me was that this show repeatedly beat out Parks and Recreation during award season. Parks and Recreation is a superior show when compared to Modern Family. This show won almost every year for years and it got really annoying especially when the quality of the show started slipping and they kept winning. After a few years, they finally stopped winning all the time. But before all that, I was a fan of Cam and Mitch. They were a great couple who I loved watching on the show. They were the best part of the show most of the time. But sadly, my annoyance of the show no longer being as funny as it used to be, was enough for me to stop watching.

#cameron monaghan #ian gallagher #noel fisher #mickey milkovich #gallavich #ian x mickey #gallavich husbands #shameless us #schitts creek #brooklyn nine nine #will & grace #the birdcage #snl #saturday night live #stefon #bill hader #seth meyers #hey arnold #in a heartbeat #modern family #grey's anatomy