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phantomphangphucker · 3 years

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Phic Phight: [REDACTED] “Oh Goddamnit. DANNY!”

Prompt Creator: @mr-lancers-english-class

Even Danny’s school projects cause ghostly issues and Lancer really should have seen this coming.

Alright fine, Lancer knew this was a bad idea. He knew it. And yet... here they all are, with each of his students doing their self-chosen presentations. And as he should have expected, Every. Single. One. has been on Phantom. Sure at least there’s been some variety. Star’s piece on his fashion and how that reflects on his personality and the era he died was actually fairly interesting (if it wasn’t for the fact that Phantom spiced up his jumpsuit with t-shirts and whatnot sometimes then this would have been a very boring one). Kwan also surprised him some, apparently he’s spent the past year or so sneaking photos of Phantom eating and did a piece on Phantom’s rather peculiar food tastes (who dips their pickles in milkshakes???) as well as effectively providing proof for the existence of ectoplasmic food (there’s no way any earth apples are neon green on the inside). Dash’s wasn’t even correctly calculated, trying to figure out how far Phantom could throw footballs based on his known strength and if he could kill someone by tackling them (disturbingly the answer -regardless of Dash’s bad math- was decidedly yes. Daniel seemed particularly disturbed). And Paulina’s was quite literally a badly written self-insert ship fan fic; the added drawings of what their child would look like only made it worse (Daniel left, not that Lancer could blame him. Lancer’s also glad for the ghost fight interrupting the presentation). Emilie’s was... disturbingly about ghost hunger and purposed the thesis that Phantom, for the good of the town, should eat the aggressor ghosts (he actually had to cut her off for getting too graphic).

But the single most interesting thing was that a ghost apparently caught wind of this and literally Every. Single. Presentation so far had words that were permanently replaced with [REDACTED], which, needless to say, caused some chaos when Samantha gave the very first presentation.

Lancer clicked his pen, crossing his legs and resting the evaluation sheet on his thigh, “alright, Samantha. Feel free to start whenever you please, though soon would be preferred”, by ‘preferred’ he had meant required, but no need to be mean. He chooses to ignore the goth teen's eyeroll.

Predictably the projected screen doesn’t work when she opens her file so Lancer has to spend ten minutes fiddling with the outdated tech that they wouldn’t give the school funding to replace. Eventually, he does get it up and running showing Ms. Manson’s title screen reading ‘Phantom And Hate Crimes Against Blood Blossoms’. Lancer’s positive ‘blood blossoms’ are a type of flower, figures she would do something nature-focused. She’d make for a great herbalist or botanist someday. He does catch Daniel and Tucker giving her ‘death glares’, as the kids call it, though; Samatha doesn’t look any less smug. The second page has what he thinks was supposed to be a detailed drawing of a flower but it’s severely pixilated, almost as if it been blurred; Samantha looks visibly upset so he’s going to assume something when wrong with the file or pasting format. He’s not marking on artistic capabilities though, so effort is effort there.

She quickly clicks to the next page, where the actual writing of the assignment is and looks decidedly pissed; Lancer even quirks an eyebrow since at least two-thirds of the words are a very bold noticeable [REDACTED]. Lancer watches her yank out her physical copy while glaring with murderous intent at Daniel -Lancer will have to dock him marks if he messed with another student's project- before looking at the physical copy in bafflement for a few seconds. Half the class shrieking when she drops the papers and basically launches herself over the desks at Daniel, “OH YOU LITTLE FUCKER!!!! HOW THE FUCK!”.

Lancer’s sighs and stands, “language, Ms. Manson”, moving to pick up the papers and quirking an eyebrow over them looking the same. Sighing again and eyeing Daniel, who’s being choked -or throttled perhaps?- by Samantha yet is grinning innocently. “Daniel, messing with other students' work is against student policy”, sighing yet again, “and I’ll let Star go while Samantha fixes her document”, summoning up the blonde while glaring at Daniel. Some days that boy was more trouble than he was worth but he was also insanely bright and had a heart of gold. Lancer knows he’ll do good things someday, and that’s why he still tries with him.

Half the class is snickering or laughing now and Star is very clearly trying not to laugh as she sets up.

However, as soon as it opens up the class is met with a very familiar sight. [REDACTED] litters every single page; he checked. And Star’s physical copy was in the same state.

Kwan blinks, “okay seriously, what is going on”, before scrambling to grab out his own physical copy; the rest of the class going wide-eyed and following suit. Lancer just puts his head in his hands and sighs very audibly while shaking his head. Why could nothing go right? Sighing again as the class erupts into noise.

“Mines all weird too!”.

“Same here!”.

“Okay there is no way Fenturd messed up everyone’s work”.

“And I actually tried on mine! It was about the merits of Phantom getting armour!”.

“Oh damn do we just get auto hundreds now? Please please please say yes”.

“Oh damn, Phantom would actually look awesome in armour”.

“I know right”.

“Can we just skip class entirely now?”.

“Oh my Zone a ghost messed with or work”.

“Holy Shit”.

“Wait! Wait! Wait! You don’t think Phantom did do you?”.

“Why the heck would he do that? How would he even know??????”.

“Oh I hope Phantom was inside my computer. That would be so hot”.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe someone told him or he overheard shit. He’s a ghost, he can be invisible. Heck, he could be here, right now, invisible”.

“Invisible and laughing at us”.

“No! No! Hold up! What if he doesn’t want us writing about him or maybe someone wrote some sus shit and he just nerfed us all for good measure”.

“That would mean Phantom totally read my stuff, aw Hell yeah man. That was some boss shit”,

Lancer sighs and stands up, “alright that’s enough”, sighing again because why did this have to happen to him, “and I apologies for blaming you earlier, Daniel”.

Samantha snaps, “oh no, I still blame him”, and continues glaring at the teen. Lancer suspects Samantha would continue blaming the boy even if it was firmly proven he wasn’t at fault.

Addressing the class again, “here’s what we’re going to do, you’re going to read off what of your projects you actually can and allude to the rest. Please reframe from repeating what you know was there beforehand as I’d rather not have whatever ghost responsible -Phantom or otherwise- come here pissed off”, glaring at few students who look slightly encouraged rather than discouraged by that prospect, “anyone who does will receive automatic zeroes”, ah and the encouraged looks have deflated. Good. Gesturing at Star, “you’re already up here, so do continue”. Better to not bring the clearly infuriated Samantha back to the front until she’s had some time to calm down.

Star nods and clears her throat, thankfully everyone quiets down. “O-okay, well, um”, gesturing at the screen, “I did my piece on Phantom’s sense of fashion and the cover image was one with him dressed in one of the Spook Sense stores meme shirts....”.

Lancer shakes away the memory, he honestly slightly regrets giving this project. But regardless right now is Daniel’s turn and Lancer is honestly slightly fearful of what his file is going to look like. Thankfully all their files were saved to his computer before the [REDACTED] debacle, so no one could go back in and edit theirs to add [REDACTED]’s for an easy grade. Lancer’s still not exactly sure how he’s supposed to mark assignments that were anywhere from one-fifth to one-third [REDACTED]. That word will be burned into his head after this grading period.

Lancer moves to find the boys file, but stares when clicking it crashes the computer. Not once. Not twice. But thrice. The fourth time rebooting the computer he inspects the file and is a bit dumbfounded, “Daniel, your entire file’s corrupted. The file type has even been changed to redacted, which I’m fairly sure, isn’t actually any possible file designation”. Everyone’s silent for a bit before bursting out into laughter.

“Just what the Zone did you write, Danny!”.

“Oh we so have to know what this is now”.

“Danny has the forbidden knowledge! We haft found him! The keeper of things forbidden and Ghostly! Haza!”.

“Ha! It was probably so lame that Phantom wanted to save him the embarrassment”.

Lancer sighs, but Daniel gestures Tucker up, “hey Tuck, feel like trying to fix the file”. Tucker chuckles and walks up, though apparently glaring at the boy. Based on Daniel’s smirk he finds this quite amusing.

Tucker does manage to make the file viewable at least. Lancer nods and leans back in his seat, “thank you, Mr. Foley”, while the file loads on screen.

Tucker sits back down with a head shake while Daniel stands at the front and gestures to the screen, “aight, as you can see from my not redacted title-”, that earns a couple laughs, “I did mine on Phantom’s portfolio of crime. Every single time our dear Phantom broke ghost law. Including such wonderful things as, that time he caused not one, not two, not even three, but five, prison breaks in one day. Or that time he invalidated a Observant spectator duel by bringing an inflatable sword”. Samantha slams a hand on her desk, “IT IS YOUR FAULT YOU DICK!”.

Lancer has some serious questions as Daniel clicks for the next page, the entire class going dead silent as a screen comprising of almost nothing but the word [REDACTED] shows. Lancer sighs very audibly. Eventually the class starts up again.

“Fenton... actually has forbidden knowledge”.

“If it wasn’t for the teacher computer saved thing I’d think he was fucking with us”.

“I mean... he is a Fenton, right?”.

“Okay the fact that this entire presentation is on ghost crimes is concerning alone. But they’re forbidden ghost crimes at that”.

“Shit I wanted the tea. Damnit”.

“Better question, how does Danny know?”.

Daniel clicking the button to go forward is very audible. And, Chicken Soup For The Soul, every single page is [REDACTED] to the point of being completely and utterly unintelligible. There are occasional lines pointing out how Phantom apparently ate confetti at a ghosts third wedding (which is apparently illegal for some reason) or that time he beat someone up with a violin that had a pie inside it (Lancer can see this one, Lancer himself has smacked a ghost with stranger). Literally the only photo that isn’t blurred beyond recognition is one of Phantom in a prison uniform (Paulina was very vocal about liking men in uniform here). Lancer is absolutely positive the end of his conclusion ‘[REDACTED] are a bunch of [REDACTED]’ is an insult.

Samantha chucks a boot at his smirking face, “YOU IDIOT. Of course they were going to block you from talking about them. Ancients, I can’t believe you”. Tucker’s busy laughing into his hand.

“Oh my Zone, they know too”.

“They’re really earning that weirdo trio title, huh”.

Daniel snickers as he sits back down, “they broke into my room and wrecked that epic puzzle I was working on. They shoulda seen this shit coming. Literally”. Tucker snorts, “they probably did but couldn’t do anything else about it. They can’t stop you and your endless bullshit”.

“Damn fucking straight”.

Lancer isn’t going to claim to know what exactly they’re talking about but apparently Daniel effectively orchestrated this entire fiasco just to annoy some ghost. Lancer is honestly more impressed than disturbed. A for effort but an A- for making everyone's work nigh unusable.

End.

Prompt: For the last project of their senior year in high school, Mr. Lancer is letting his class do presentations on literally whatever topic they want. He is very, /very/ sure that this is going to go poorly, but that's a problem for later...

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gguktarts · 4 years

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decathect | jjk (1)

1. to withdraw one’s feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss

summary: if one thing was clear to you when you first met Jeon Jungkook, it was that he would never love you. at least, not the way you wanted him to.

pairing: jjk x reader genre: unrequited love au? || angst || little fluff if u Squint || drabble series word count: 2.7k parts: 1 / ? | next » cw: uhh kinda unhealthy depictions of a crush, & jk is a fuckboy w lots of tatts and long hair so that deserves a warning on its Own i say

note: so,,, this was supposed to be a short fic bc i wanted my heart broken but it turned into a drabble series……………….we’ll see how that goes!!! rip

You’ve heard of him from your friends, and from their friends: about the infamous Jeon Jungkook and the reputation that precedes him. He’s, first and foremost, an art major — and an excelling one at that. In the short three years he’s been an undergrad, his work has been featured, so far, in a total of 4 major art exhibitions. His displayed work apparently sells rather quickly, too, which surely earns him more than enough money to successfully continue his various artistic endeavors and out-of-uni activities. You’ve heard he’s also into tattoos, boxing, and photography on the side, for example. Whether it was true or not was not something you focused on, but considering his friends were they ones telling the tales, you didn’t doubt it. Not that you thought of it often, or at all, really.

What you did question was why exactly he felt the need to stop by Taehyung’s very own, very private, and very expensive Goghrik’s Vancrylics paint collection to use instead of his own. You didn’t want to think him as cheap because, quite frankly, you knew nothing more than those whispered rumors and offhanded comments Jimin and Yoongi perpetrated on occasion. So, you settled for thinking nothing until you could get concrete answers.

For a long time Jungkook remained a simple ghost, until finally one day he just existed. Everywhere, and then, always. As if meeting him once meant he’d open the door to your home to welcome himself as an indefinite guest, you suddenly had no week free of his presence or his trace. Like a growing avalanche you learned about him with repeated increase, sometimes by choice, and sometimes by mere coincidence. Maybe it was pure coincidence, too, how you came to fall for him — for Jeon Jungkook, the artist, the fuckboy. With time though, you came to a different understanding.

Liking Jungkook was no coincidence. It was a curse – a long, and tediously everlasting hex you’d so far failed to get rid of.

And it all started, you begrudgingly admit sometimes, with some paint and very little luck.

Being in one of the most prestigious Universities in the country naturally means you consistently face the demon of a huge – nay, an enormous campus. A wide lake rests between dispersed buildings while Hi-Q food marts border each cluster of separate dorms, connected all entirely by desire paths and concrete roads. It's no surprise then that a map is the standard gift given to all entrance students, though by now you’ve memorized practically all zones you inhabit (i.e. the Natural Sciences’ Atrium, the Physics Department, and your own dorm). Most people still use theirs, along with the mandatory transportation fare card Admissions urges all newcomers to get. More than anything it’s a must-have for anyone who wants to actually make it on time to class — more so when they’re not blessed with taking courses on a near-by group of Departments.

And it just so happened you’re amongst those ill-fated few.

For four years now you’ve been a resident of Dorm C, exactly the furthest of the dorms from the NS Atrium. Instead you’re — uselessly — at a walking distance from the Plastic Arts department, a place you’ve ventured to for only a single semester back in your second year. Back then you had decided that taking Pottery was a great way to fill in some of your electives, an idea which mostly Taehyung, an art major himself, cemented in your head. You remember nothing of your treks to the department, nor of the lessons you received, but your memory often recalls it happened whenever you visit him. Your final project, a 2-piece set of misshapen cups of tea, still rests atop one of his many bookshelves to this day. Taehyung calls them “endearing”, something about them “truly reflecting a purpose beyond what their ‘perfect brethren’ are subjected to”. Which, really, is code for “they could be used as mugs, but I like them better as vases for Namjoon’s succulents,” and you’re okay with that.

Namjoon, an English Lit major, is Tae’s roommate and the other occupant of their two-bedroom flat. As luck would have it they stay on the floor above your own, right atop your much smaller and much lonelier dorm room. It’s actually one of the shared excuses you all use for your constant visits.

Half of the time you spend on their flat includes being tucked away on their couch, reading astronomy journals or watching documentaries Joon frequently sits through alongside you, or sleeping under Tae’s covers simply because he enjoys the company and can’t seem to sleep otherwise. The rest of the time the boys, sometimes with you in tow on an off day, migrate to Jimin and Yoongi’s shared flat in Dorm D. They share their space with Jungkook, if Yoongi’s complaints about late-night water-fests were anything to go by, though you’ve never seen him there.

No, ironically, the first time you crossed paths with him was in the lobby of Dorm C — your dorm. You remember he was shifting and wandering around like a lost puppy, his eyes restlessly searching for something or someone. It was him, you knew, because he’s often featured in your shared friend’s Instagram posts, and because he’s very hard to miss.

He was — is big, towering over you easily, and was then dressed all in black. A mix of comfy and effortlessly put together in perfect execution, the rolled-up sleeves of his sweater did nothing to hide the ink covering his veiny forearms. You were instantly thankful — you’ve always been drawn to tattoos. They’re admirable on others and on yourself, and you instantly had to push down the desire to keep marking your body for reasons only pertinent to the feeling of the needle on your skin or the aesthetics of the design. Your poor ass couldn’t afford another so soon, anyway.

The other thing that gave him away was his signature dark hair, long and parted in the middle to fall over his round, soft eyes. It covered his multiple piercings but did nothing to take away from the sweet persona that settled over him. Despite the dark and the goth, he seemed… cute. Very cute, and very confused. The way his eyebrows furrowed at his phone screen just before he searched through the scattered students was a dead giveaway. He was likely lost, but that wasn’t very surprising. For all the time Tae and Joon spend on Dorm D, the same couldn’t be said otherwise. Visits to Dorm C were seldom for the rest.

And a lost Jungkook… wasn’t your problem. A simple look at his boyish features was enough to ignite some sort of weird somersaults in your chest, and you wanted nothing more than to ignore it and run far away. So, you tried.

Blinking away the staring he had thankfully not noticed, you made for your own room as embarrassment coursed through your jittery limbs.

You didn’t make it very far before your plan backfired. You had to go near him to reach the elevator, and it apparently didn’t matter that you were practically hiding inside your bag, your hand rummaging through it for your room cardkey.

“Hey—uh, Y/N right?” you heard, and your body froze.

A look up, and there he was. Jeon Jungkook, calling your name. It was weird hearing your mesh of letters on his tongue, foreign to his palette yet pronounced to perfection. Equally confused as he looked before, and even further more embarrassed (you couldn’t help but think, amongst all the chaos in your mind, that his voice was ridiculously soothing and fitting for his physicality), your throat only let out a very intellectual “huh?”

“Um,” Jungkook’s eyes went wide, his head cocked to the side at your reaction. His feet shifted under him, and you tried ignoring the way his cheeks grew a lovely shade of pink when he spoke again.

“I’m Jungkook, and hyung—Taehyung mentioned you before. He isn’t answering and I’m a bit lost, so I was wondering if you could give me directions? Unless you’re not… Y/N?”

You’re often a recurrent character in Tae’s stories, so it shouldn’t have surprised you he’s spoken of you before. But it did.

“I am Y/N,” you relented, maybe a bit more bitterly than you intended. You couldn’t help but pout at the sudden reminder of Tae’s love for recording you during your most… inopportune moments. “Where is it you want to go?”

The boy in question rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a bunny-like smile making a sudden appearance. His teeth seemed to jut out a bit, and his upper lip disappeared almost entirely, but you were sure of one thing instantly: his smile was the prettiest one you’d ever seen.

You felt your chest constrict at the sight without any sense of permission, your ears going up in flames. Clearly, you were bonkers. You continued your walk towards the elevator, praying he’d keep up somewhere a bit farther from you. But he followed without question, easily settling besides you and offering glances from the corner of his eye. You pressed the up button and pretended not to notice, playing around with your cardkey while you both waited.

“To hyung’s dorm — I haven’t ever been there, as strange as it sounds, and I need to borrow some paint.”

“Borrow some paint?” you hummed, the notion seeming somewhat silly to you. “After you’ve used it you can’t return it, so would it really be borrowing?”

You moved to look at him questioningly, curiosity getting the best of you, and the feeling you were hit with was far too paralyzing for you to carry. It was a sudden storm of affection, a wave of currents that spread and tightened, tickling and burning your stomach each second you saw his crinkled eyes, his teeth fully bared into a humorous grin. It made your feet stick to the ground even after the doors of the elevator greeted you open.

“You’re a weird one aren’t you?” he muttered airily, more to himself than anything, before shrugging and prompting you to follow him inside the confined space. “Technically, you’re right, but saying I’m borrowing stuff sounds nicer, doesn’t it? It’s all about semantics. Don’t worry though, hyung lets me take some of his whenever I run out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you said much after that, but you did take him all the way to Tae’s and Joon’s front door. He thanked you softly before you left, with a smile sincere and gentle in ways you hadn’t expected. You remember nodding along and, possibly, wishing him good luck on his art project, but you weren’t sure by the time you reached your room.

You remember skipping your assignments that night, choosing instead a hot shower and the comforts of your recently cleaned bed. It was the first attempt at forgetting the whole event, a new mission for your mind to complete before a crush settled its anchor.

You were used to six handsome guys. You drew the line at seven.

Meeting Jungkook for the first time was disastrous for the days that followed. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic, but it was rightfully warranted. Your brain had vaguely memorized what he looked like outside of pictures, and now you saw him everywhere. It was the frequency bias all over again, and it had no escape, just like that one time you wanted to dye your hair and suddenly half the population seemed to be dying it that very color. Similarly, interacting with Jungkook meant noticing him in your peripheral when he wasn’t front and center, knowing it was him in the distance. It only worsened when your paths began to regularly cross.

It happened and continuous to happen mostly in the presence of Tae or Joon, or any of Jungkook’s roommates.

Whenever you’d spend some time on the couch with Joon, he was there. Whenever you woke up midday and decide it was high time to cook brunch for three (four then), he was already there. When Yoongi invited you over to hear some of the pieces he’s been working on, Jungkook was miraculously in the apartment. Oh, you wanted to steal some of Tae’s shirts? Jungkook catches you red handed, some stolen paints of his own right in his treacherous hold.

It’s absolutely maddening.

You wouldn’t mind it so much if it weren’t for the fact that each new stare, each new smile, leaves your stomach in complete shambles.

Who could take you back to the time when you hadn’t heard his loud laugh? To when he hadn’t seen you loafing around in your onesie after a killer test and stayed to comfort you? He even called you cute, shared some of his milk and made sure to leave only after he’d seen you smile. Sometimes he’d even notice you watch your documentaries only to pop a random question about space, or even about the science behind Star Trek or Star Wars when “Clearly FTL travel isn’t possible?” (To which you’d answer: “Not yet it isn’t, you non-believer”) before falling quiet and leaving you be. They were small conversations with no more than 3 lines exchanged, but they were more than enough for the butterflies seeping through your ribcage to go on a frenzy.

And despite everything you heard and everything you began to know, Jungkook was possibly the softest, sweetest, and most annoying person you knew. At least superficially.

You still knew nothing personal about him, with your interactions being limited to shared spaces, but you didn’t think much of it until you began to see all kinds of things: his cute habits, his quirks, and even the way his tattoo collection grows.

You’ve silently noticed the way he wiggles his toes when he sits to watch a series, how he blinks a lot when he’s confused. You’ve seen the way he scratches the back of his head when he’s not confident about something, and how his eyes smile before his lips do, and the way his laugh resonates all around the room in the most euphoric melodies. All of this you come to know as unequivocally Jungkook. And you know, you know you’re so whipped for him that you can’t stop being in-tuned with it, with his little things.

But you’re also aware of your situation, and it doesn’t surprise you when your chest starts to hurt over it — over him, because you see his other things: the way each week curls a different girl around his waist, the way his eyes turn cold when he says he doesn’t do relationships, and the way he looks at you.

It’s never with disgust or anything of the sort. It’s just that you’ve seen the way he looks at the girls he fucks with, the girls he finds attractive, the girls he likes for a single night to then discard them.

And he’s never looked at you like that. You suppose that’s good, but... then again, you guess it means you’re nothing. After all, Jeon Jungkook never offers you any hope, he never shows any interest. Technically you’re not even his friend — not really. You’re Taehyung’s other best friend, an outside addition to his usual friend group, and now to his life. You’re okay with that, you have to be. You haven’t sought him out, haven’t done anything to close the gap between you. Water and care is something you never wanted to give your unjustified feelings. You never wanted them to grow, even now.

You just failed to take note of the rain pouring over the earth and pooling beneath your feet, and you don’t notice you’re drowning until you see him at the end of the day.

The girl attached to him is a stranger to you, just like the rest you’ve seen, yet you can’t seem to shake the thought that something must be different. Whatever she has seems to be enough for the tattooed man to shatter his distaste for PDA, at least for the time being.

Your legs hesitate to unceremoniously halt in the middle of the hall. Your eyes battle not to widen and not to stare, for a second desperate to make sure that what you’re seeing is real, that you’re seeing Jungkook kiss for the first time in forever as if you hadn’t known all this time that he fucks and loves behind closed doors.

And it doesn’t matter that the kiss isn’t gentle, that he’s kissing her as if she were the very air he needed to breathe. No, what makes you sick is how he notices, how he sees you, and how he does nothing but pull her closer in response.

You push yourself to move as soon as his eyes drift away again, unwilling to tremble before him and unwilling to make any more mistakes.

Class would have to wait. You needed coffee, even if it meant being late. And you absolutely hate being late to Astrophysics, but you definitely hated seeing him more.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts imagine #bts jungkook #bts fic #bts fanfiction #drabble series: dct

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darkkept · 4 years

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RULES. repost; do not reblog! tag 10! good luck!

TAGGED BY: stolen from @salt-water-and-glaives forever ago TAGGING: Steal it from me or I will kill again.

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Astraea Andromeda Lucis Caelum NICKNAME/S: Stray, Rae/Rae-Rae, Starshine BIRTHDAY: February 28th NATIONALITY: Lucian LANGUAGE/S: Lucian, Tenebraean, Old Lucian, Altissian, fragments of Imperial SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS: It’s Complicated (verse dependent)

CLASS: White Mage

HOMETOWN / AREA: Insomnia, Lucis. Born a royal in the Crown City, Stray was raised in the highest echelons of Insomniac society. Raised above most, she was kept largely to the world of privilege and safety afforded by the wealthier circles of her walled world. CURRENT HOME: On the road

PROFESSION: Princess, Advocate

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Inky black in color, shot through with traces of blue highlights. It falls thick and loosely curled to her mid back, though is often styled tidily up and away from her face in vintage styles. After the fall of her homeland, she cuts her hair just above her shoulders and only styles it minimally.

EYES: A dark shade, leaning heavily towards a steely blue. Downturned and mono-lidded in shape. Has long dark lashes framing them, often accented with a hint of black eyeliner along her upper lids and highlighter to obscure dark circles beneath her eyes.

NOSE: Straight, with a slight downward turn. Average sized.

FACE: Diamond shaped, with an angular and overtly feminine face giving way to a pointed chin. Slightly elongated in imitation of her father in his youth, with no noticeable scars or discoloration

LIPS: Wide and plush, naturally a pale pink. Often decorated with a smear of neutral lipstick or gloss during public appearances. Most often pulled into a placid or neutral smile.

COMPLEXION: The light ivory skin of a person who does not often brave direct sunlight, with warm undertones. While she might burn at first, with time she’ll settle into a soft tan when introduced to the world outside of the city. Appears more ashen in the post-Nightfall world, due to a combination of factors.

BLEMISHES: None, and should any appear. they’re likely to be photoshopped out or made to disappear via make-up.

TATTOOS: A small lineart of a feather on her left hip, a remnant of a past relationship. The feather means a lot to her on again off again boyfriend, and she thought it would be a cute surprise for him. That on again lasted all of two months after this tattoo. She’s mortified by the mere thought of the ink on her hip now.

HEIGHT: 5′1″

WEIGHT: Around 105-110 pounds.

BUILD: Slim and diminutive, with delicate bone structure and slender limbs. While there is some toning along her upper arms and core, she remains slight. Her figure is relatively straight, with little in the way of curves.

ALLERGIES: None.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: in public: A vintage brush out or demure braid will be her go to hairstyles when facing the people. The styles are made more elegant by the inclusion of hair accessories, usually dark silver clips to contrast off of her dark locks.

in private: Keeps her hair loose or in a low ponytail, letting her curls simply be so long as they are out of the way. She’s not particularly fussed about her hair when her time is her own, and actually enjoys just letting it loose and bouncy down her back.

at work: Kept into a messy ponytail or bun with long, loose curls falling at the sides of her face if not swept back behind her ears.

USUAL EXPRESSION: You know how newscasters have that perpetual, unnerving buoyancy to their smiles and unblinking eyes? Unfortunately, that is Stray, who wants to always appear affable and trustworthy to the people. Smiling softly, eyes bright, but in an altogether neutral expression otherwise, she might come off as insincere were she any less pretty.

USUAL CLOTHING: The modern goth meets the vintage rack. Stray has an appreciation for old school elegance, be it tea-length dresses or old pencil skirts and cardigans, the more femme the better. Her choice of fabric is overwhelmingly black, though she accessorizes with shades of red and magenta. Has been known to wear sunglasses when out in the world. Polished black heels are a must, as Stray refuses to live at her actual height.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Seeing as Stray is a person to define herself by her use to others, she has a twofold fear of uselessness and imperfection. If she is not the best she can be, the nshe struggles to understand who she is or what her purpose might be. Beyond this, she has a deep-seated fear of losing what little family she has, which unfortunately comes true during the course of the narrative.

ASPIRATION/S: Above all, Stray hopes to see a Kingdom united, with no walls and prejudices. Her primary goals as a political figurehead focus on the plight of the Outlands, and especially that of refugees. She hopes to one day make reparations for what her forebears did so wrong in handling those outside of the Crown City. Her more personal goals are mainly defined day by day, though as of the game’s primary plot, she is focused totally on finding her brother and keeping him safe. After his loss, Stray throws herself into finding a conclusion that does not end with her brother being sacrificed to Bahamut’s game.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Approachable. Caring. Generous. Just. Passionate. Playful. Witty.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Evasive. Insecure. Self-sacrificing. Smothering. Subservient. Workaholic.

MBTI: ENFJ-T - THE PROTAGONIST

Protagonists are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. Forming around two percent of the population, they are oftentimes our politicians, our coaches and our teachers, reaching out and inspiring others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence that begets influence, Protagonists take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community.

The interest Protagonists have in others is genuine, almost to a fault – when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person’s problems, place too much trust in them. Luckily, this trust tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as Protagonists’ altruism and authenticity inspire those they care about to become better themselves. But if they aren’t careful, they can overextend their optimism, sometimes pushing others further than they’re ready or willing to go.

People with the Protagonist personality type are passionate altruists, sometimes even to a fault, and they are unlikely to be afraid to take the slings and arrows while standing up for the people and ideas they believe in. It is no wonder that many famous Protagonists are cultural or political icons – this personality type wants to lead the way to a brighter future, whether it’s by leading a nation to prosperity, or leading their little league softball team to a hard-fought victory.

ENNEAGRAM: The Reformer

ZODIAC: Pisces (sun sign), Libra (rising sign), Taurus (moon sign)

TAROT: Death: “You can be a bit intense and find yourself drawn to dark and mysterious things. You’ve been through a lot and have probably seen your fair share of endings, but probably cope with it through humor. On top of that, you are surprisingly easygoing – you’re open to change, try not to let past baggage weigh you down, and seek out new experiences” (there was a quiz going around and that’s where the description comes from)

TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine

SOUL TYPE/S: the caregiver (change)

The quintessential characteristic of a Caregiver type is the desire to take care of others. For this reason, Caregivers may be drawn to the long-term care of children or the elderly. Though some Caregivers find their need to nurture satisfied by raising a family, many others seek out work in such venues as schools, hospitals, and animal shelters. The long-term care of those with Alzheimer’s, autism, and mental illness often becomes the responsibility of Caregivers.

If you recognize yourself as a Caregiver, you may already have noticed the tendency to put others’ needs ahead of your own. This trait makes it essential that you go out of your way to take care of yourself as well as those around you. Remember that you’re no use to others if you’re not healthy or fit enough to help them.

You are loyal to the extreme, and you guard those who are entrusted to your care with your life. Fighting another person’s battles can be important if that individual is unable to stand up for themselves, though you should be cautious not to dis-empower those in your care by not allowing them to do things for themselves.

Your empathy allows you to understand nonverbal emotional signals. This ability will tell you when someone needs your help, and how best to assist them. It is common for Caregiver types to intuitively know what someone needs at any given time.

VICE/S: Stray is someone who cuts loose by thrills. A favorite vice is driving fast, racing around the Crown City once the streets are emptied. She tears across the roads like a stunt driver, handling her car well but with a blatant disregard for traffic laws. She has also been known to take part in recreational drug use in secret, favoring marijuana to unwind when her stress peaks.

FAITH: Formerly a lapsed adherent to the Astrals, the six gods of her native Eos, with a particular focus on the veneration of Bahamut as patron of her family. While raised a proper faithful child, Stray never had a vested interest in the Astrals, and began to put her faith instead in the physical world over the spiritual. In the time since the fall of her homeland and the revelation of her brother’s fate, her disinterest has turned to outright hatred, and she now aims to work against the gods and their ambitions.

GHOSTS?: Misidentified daemons, in her honest opinion. If the haunted painting can actually be possessed by one, who knows how many times ghosts have simply been misidentified species of Daemon? She wants to believe, however.

AFTERLIFE?: She’s unsure what shape it takes, but does believe it exists. Whether you ascend to dwell with the Astrals, or go on to watch over your loved ones from above, she cannot say, just that she doesn’t think life ends just because your body dies. Not that it immediately concerns her, seeing as a lot of her ancestors end up stuck in a ring for all eternity.

REINCARNATION?: A fascinating theory she’s seen bandied about certain Outland beliefs. It’s not truly in line with the Astral-based faith she was raised in, but she does think it’s a beautiful idea. Though, she does tend to treat it irreverently when drawing comparisons between the Founder King and her younger brother.

ALIENS?: You mean like the kind Cor swears up and down he saw driving through Tenebrae once? Sure, she totally believes the Marshall.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Revolutionary. At heart, Stray sees little use in a continued monarchy, and believes in equality for the people who would ideally represent themselves. Outwardly, she settles for being the more liberal royal, campaigning for changes to at least two generations of perceived injustice against Lucian citizens.

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: Surprisingly frugal. Most finery she owns was either a gift or a necessity for osme event. On her own, Stray has a preference for function over anything else, and durability over couture. This might go a long way in explaining several of her vintage interests.

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: Royal, the eldest child -- though not heir -- of an established monarch. Stray is at the highest level of Lucian society, trumped only by her father as ruler and brother as heir.

EDUCATION LEVEL: University educated. Topped her classes throughout her private education, and truly excelled in high school. Earned her Bachelors in poli sci, despite intending to study medicine at the start. Her education goals have been put on hold due to her familial obligations, though prior to the treaty signing she intended to continue on for a Masters.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Regis Lucis Caelum, King - deceased

MOTHER: Aurea Lucis Caelum, Queen - deceased

GODFATHER: Clarus Amicitia (her father’s Sworn Shield)

SIBLING/S: Noctis (younger brother)

EXTENDED FAMILY: Ardyn probably counts here as her 114 times removed great uncle. In the more realistic, she has a maternal uncle on the council, and a few younger cousins she sometimes hangs around with.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): Verse dependent.

NAME MEANING/S: Astraea is derived from the root Aster, meaning ‘Star.’ This was the name of a classical goddess of justice and innocence. Andromeda roughly translates to ‘mindful of man,’ and was the name of a bound princess in mythology. Lucis Caelum is a Latin surname, taken from the words for ‘light’ and ‘sky.’

Her first and last names become ‘star of the light sky’,’ in juxtaposition to her brother as the ‘night of the light sky.’

Stray is a nickname derived from her younger brother’s attempts to pronounce her name as a young child. It was easier on the tongue than her full name, and stuck among both the royal family and the prince and princess’ closest friends.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION: The eldest child of the royal family of Lucis, a dynasty dating back 2000 years. Though not the heir -- inheritance favors female rulers only when there are no men left -- Stray is among the latest link in a very long chain of duty and magic. She is 114 generations removed from the Founder King, and sister to the long-prophecised Promised King.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Stray is most engrossed in medical journals and any technical publications that come her way. That is, she has more time for magazines than books. When she has a moment to sit down, however, she has a taste for poetry and the classics -- Tragedies, especially.

MOVIE: Legally, the princess is required to say that she enjoys a good drama, and is very interested in the yearly award circuit nominees especially. In private, the princess prefers less conservative fare, namely erotic thrillers. There is something about the interplay of sex and danger that she enjoys. None can know just how lowbrow her tastes are.

DEITY: Outwardly, she will admit to being a great admirer of the stalwart Draconian who protects her family and their kingdom. In private, she often had a soft spot for Titan, shouldering the load of saving the world from calamity. Now, she thinks they are all unworthy of worship.

MONTH: October.

SEASON: Autumn.

PLACE: Her private chambers within the Citadel, where she can really be herself at the start and end of every day.

WEATHER: Cool and overcast, with the threat of rain on the horizon not quite reaching her. The kind of weather where you bring your umbrella just to be safe, but still go about your day.

SOUND: The laughter of her loved ones.

SCENT/S: Roses. Sea salt. Old books. Her partner’s cologne/soap.

TASTE/S: Honey. Molasses. Black tea. Apples.

FEEL/S: Leather. Fur. Velvet. Scar tissue.

ANIMAL/S: Chocobo.

NUMBER: 13

COLOR: Magenta

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Public speaking. Problem solving. White magic.

BAD AT: Obeying traffic laws. Expressing and working through negative feelings. Accepting failure.

TURN-ONS: nonsexual: Older/stronger partners. Emotional intimacy. Risk-taking. Tolerance for others. Free-spirits. sexual: Spanking. Praise. Roleplay. Big dicks. Being able to let her partner take control. Laid-back sex.

TURN-OFFS: Degradation. Unyielding. Lack of compassion. Traditionalist views. Immaturity.

HOBBIES: Socializing. Reading. Research. Racing. Clubbing. Chess.

AESTHETIC TAGS: Stars. Midnight. Moon cycles. The serpent. Rebellion. Stranger in a strange land. Girlhood gothic. Shades of red. Growing up too fast. The healer has the bloodiest hands. All-loving heroine. The dutiful daughter. Shields. Dark mirrors. Breaking cycles. Dark curls. Sensuality. Who’s a heretic now?

#long post //#stray ; characterization #stray ; headcanon

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #213

"there's a voice in my head, says i'm better off dead, but if i sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song, i'll be all right."

Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? No. Ice cream? No. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? Well, two heat lamps for Kaiju and Venus. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Yikes, it's been a long time... Can you name 2 books of the Bible? Uhhh Luke and Revelations? Do people usually think your brother is handsome? I don't know, I haven't lived with him since I was a kid, and he doesn't live in my state. So we don't know the same people. Have you ever crawled thru a vent? Not to my memory. Are there toothpicks in your kitchen? They're in the bathroom. How many living grandparents do you have? One. Do you eat more than 3 meals a day? No; I don't even always have three. Do you know how old your house is? I believe it was made in the '70s. Do you think you have great potential for success? Meh. Have you applied any lipstick, chapstick, gloss, etc to your lips today? No. Would you rather have tan or pale skin color? Pale. Sometimes I hate it, but I like it more overall. Especially when you're a goth at heart know what I'm sayin'. Last time you entered a high school? Probably my sister's graduation. Last time you rode a bike? It's been years, dude. Probably not since high school. Do you drink your water from the tap? You couldn't pay me to. Our water is technically clean, we've had it tested, but dead serious, the hot water smells like rotten eggs. I'm pretty sure Mom said it's something about the salt content in the pipes. But nevertheless, mind over matter would nooot work. Is there any kind of design on your socks? I'm not wearing socks. Have you ever had an ice cream cake for your birthday? No, I'm not a fan. Do you use dryer sheets? Yes. Do you like Subway? Yeah. What was your worst mistake in your life? Letting a guy become god, the entire universe, and more to me. Is this year the best year of your life? Oh, hunny- Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? I don't think so. Did you sleep well last night? I never do. I always wake up at least once. What’s the last song you heard? "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon is on repeat. What is your favorite line from a TV show? I don't have a clue. Any current family issues? No. Who is the last friend you spent time with outside of school? Summer and I talked for a while at my niece's b-day party a few days back. What do you think of your mother? Your father? Your siblings (if there are any)? I love them. There's one sister I don't know so can't really say anything on her, then I do have another sister who, if I can assume via Facebook interactions, can't be too fond of me. But I could be mistaken with my habit of said assuming... Who/What is one person/thing that had the biggest impact on your life? Who: Jason. What: my mental health. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? How isolated I am and void of purpose I feel. What is one band that you find yourself going back to again and again? You mean like, stop liking but then get back into? None, I think. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Idk. Can you see your purse right now? Yes. Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? No. Are there products in your hair? No. Have you ever eaten cat food? I don't think so, though I wouldn't be surprised as a kid. How many pets do you have? Six. Do you actually like them? All but my sister's dog. I can't stand him. Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? My girlfriend. Do you wear skirts a lot? I never do. I hate my legs. Do you basically live in jeans? I have zero jeans. Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Not really; if I'm not in pjs, I'm usually in dance or yoga pants. How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Zero. Do you like hoodies? Yeah. Big ones or the form fitting kind? Bigger ones. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think I did. Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I go back and forth, lol. But no, I have regrets. Do you love your computer? It's got a few issues, but yeah. Do friends or family come first? Family of the heart, anyway. Us sharing blood doesn't mean shit to me, honestly. What’s your lucky number? I don't believe in "lucky" numbers. Who were the last 5 people you spoke to? I'll include via technology because otherwise I have no clue. Mom, Sara, Emma, and two women interested in adopting Kaiju. Do you have the same password for everything? No. Do you get shy around the person you like? Sometimes. What color is your phone? Dark navy. Do you prefer pens or pencils? Pencils. Do you like peanut butter? Yes. If you could live forever, would you? Hell no. Do you talk in your sleep? A lot. What was the last thing you regretted? Probably depression binge-eating something. Are you any good at cutting hair? Never tried. Do you like your yearbook picture this year? N/A What was the last YouTube video to make you laugh? Ummm there was something last night, but idr what. Do you like tomatoes? No. Do you have a pool? I wish. How would you describe your style? Too poor and lazy to be a goth so dresses in whatever is at the top of my drawer tbh lmao. Do you still talk to any of your exes? One. Have you ever been arrested? No. What was the last thing you watched on TV? I don't watch TV by my own volition anymore and there's not even a TV in my room, so... I really don't know. Do you have a tan? Even the Irish are ashamed of me. What was your most embarrassing moment? Who knows. I'm so easily humiliated and affected by it that I can remember times I've been even remotely embarrassed as far back as pre-k. Do you fall for people fast? No. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Are you quick to judge? Depends. Not generally. When was the last time you crawled through a window? I have zero clue. Are you scared of spiders? Most, yes. What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Have a full-blown panic attack despite that being physically impossible. Do you plan on moving within the next year? It'd be nice, but I estimate it'll be around two more years. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Hm. A few, since the parking area behind the house is decently-sized. Are you taller than your mom? No. Are you a cuddler? Yes. Sleep on your back or stomach? My stomach/upper torso kinda to the side. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? I don't remember. Though I know I was mad recently. How long has it been since you had sex? Almost four years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a car wreck. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been maaaany months. What facial cleanser do you use? Biore. Do you use a blowdryer? No. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? Dogs and cats lmao. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Still rather be a woman. Favorite underwear brand? Idk. Last thing you bought at the mall? A book. Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. What if an ex asked to be back in your life? Aaron: We've never had issues, we just drifted apart. It'd be weird for him to ask that, but I mean, sure? Juan: I don't know. Probably not. Jason: I REALLY don't know. We could probably be friends at a distance. Tyler: No, I think. Girt: He's still in my life. If you’re on a laptop, how much charge does it have right now? It's charging and only tells me the minutes until it's at full charge. Last gift you received? I don't know. Lesson you recently learned? I absolutely cannot work in a busy environment. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What is a field of study that is of your interest? Zoology. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Thinking too hard on what the appropriate amount of eye contact is. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah. What time of day do you feel mostly at peace? Morning. How has the weather been treating you lately? It's way too fucking hot and humid. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? We've had numerous cats be hit by cars. It was always sad, but I mean, I got through it. Especially as I was just a kid and didn't quite fathom how serious death was, nor did any cats I was SUPER attached to die that way. What can you go a day without doing? Going outside. What can’t you go a day without doing? Using some form of technology. Talking to Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? No one. I'm usually alone. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? A caring heart. Have you ever eaten a zucchini? A fried one that was sliced into chips. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Dark art or fandom-related stuff. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Oreos omggggg. What fruit is too sweet to you? None, I think? How much money did your last vacation cost? I don't even remember my last vacation. Have you ever taken a physics class? Yeah. What are your thoughts on celebrity idolization and ‘fangirling/fanboying?’ Oh boy, I can't talk shit here for obvious reasons lmao. What is the messiest area in your home? I'm not sure... I haven't been in my sister's old room in forever, and I can't remember if it's empty or not. If it is empty - hell, even if it isn't -, the answer's probably the laundry room. Who was the last person you called? My mom. What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror is my favorite game genre period. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Well, Mom had mixed feelings about Juan, but so did I. She didn't not like him, though. Do you take public transportation to work? N/A. Public transport doesn't even come here. What extracurricular activities did you do when you were growing up? Soccer for one season (I hated it), softball, basketball, briefly cheerleading, and dance. Has anything unusual happened to you recently? Idk. I don't think so. Do you like chicken korma? I have no clue what that is. What was the last type of tea you drank? I never drink tea; I hate it. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? Yes. Where is the most interesting place you could go that’s within day-trip distance from your house? Stealing previous answer: Washington D.C. Do you ever rearrange your furniture? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? Lol I'm still financially dependent on them. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I am an extremely fast eater. I'm not messy or anything, I just, eat how I feel is normal? Just chew until you've done so enough to swallow. What room(s) of your house did you last vacuum? Mine. How old were you when you had your first relationship? My first "real" relationship started at 15. I had a middle school bf for just like... a month or so, but that was all puppy-dog love. Why did your last relationship end? I verified that I didn't like him romantically, and I also found I was just too guarded. In our four months of dating, I got no closer to him than I was from the start. I wasn't ready to date a guy again. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? No idea. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Do you live in a high cost-of-living area? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Do you ever feel like someone would be disappointed to see your body or are you comfortable with your body enough where you don’t think that? I fucking hate my body and I'm sure anyone else would too. What is your favorite flavor of Monster? I don't like Monster. Do you follow your head or your heart? Both, I guess. It depends. How do you act under pressure? Did somebody say PANIC?!?!?!?! Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? No. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? No. It'd probably depress me. Have you ever ran from the police? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeah, back as a kid... Are you double jointed? No. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? My first stuffed meerkat I named after Zaphod from MM. Or my moose Brownie. Do you have any trophies? Somewhere. Do you work out? No. What grade are you in? I’m not in school. Do you like screamo music? No. Let me hear words, please. If I learn the lyrics, I can /sometimes/ enjoy the song, though. What does your wallet look like? It's rectangular with a Harley Quinn design. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is weed a drug? *Technically*, by definition, yes Who’s the first person you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on? Mom or Sara. Would you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? No, that's fucking stupid. If you got pregnant right now, would you keep the baby? If I was, God forbid, raped, I don't think I could. If I had unprotected sex willingly, I truly think pregnancy would traumatize me, but I'd probably go through with it and put it up for adoption. I'd want to take responsibility for my actions. Does your family have a secret? No. Are you prejudice against any groups of people? No. If someone gave you a houseplant, would you keep it? Yeah, to be nice. That fella wouldn't live long, though. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car. Are there any exercises that you do regularly? I'm trying to get in the habit of planking every day since it works out your whole body. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? HELL YES!!!! If you had a son right now, what would you name him? Probably Damien. Who names their son after a Markiplier character? Me. But real talk, I like the name. Do you own a desktop or a laptop? A laptop. Have you kissed more than three guys this year? I haven't kissed any guys. Who’s with you? Mom's on the couch outside my door. Can you use chopsticks? I highly doubt it, especially because I have tremors. When did you last go to an amusement park? Oh, wow. I actually think this was shortly before Jason and I broke up. So 2015. Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Don't you fucking dare joke about rape, retardation, suicide, or self-harm. What would you do if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both females. We can't. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? I don't have any of my exes' numbers, so I'd answer it and say "hello?". Are any of your texts in your inbox locked? A couple from Sara. If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard, could you still type? Yes; I don't look at the keyboard when I type. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Twice now. Do you currently have a scar? I have a lot. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a petrol station. What do you buy? I mean, it depends on what I'm up for. Usually Reese's or something sour. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? Probably a dolphin. What do you order most off the internet? Clothes. Describe the last time you were injured? So I have this awful habit of tearing my fingernails when they get long, and I peeled it way too short. Rock concert or symphony? Y'all know I'm picking rock. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone? Mark and Chica, and my home screen is Sara and me. Most recent movie you’ve watched at the cinema? Detective Pikachu. Name an actor/actress you’ve had the hots for? Jason Momoa. My straight side is certainly still there, friends. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Have you ever done ballet? No. Do you listen to classical music? No. Do you watch Spongebob? I don't watch TV period. Do people consider you intelligent? Those in my life seem stuck on high school me, when I was really smart. I don't think I am anymore. What curse word do you use the most? "Fuck," oops. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Well yeah, I'm probably gonna BE that person one day, lmao. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? It's impossible to mispronounce my name... The only thing that sometimes happens is my name is misspelled.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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toonstarterz · 6 years

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BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #143

So in keeping with the recent trend of bringing back older characters, Watamote goes for a throwback and puts the OG trio into the spotlight. With Kii-chan, we got to experience how Tomoko managed to rekindle a previously strained relationship (somewhat). Will the Tomoko-Yuu-Komiyama team finally become a true circle? Or is it destined to exist as an awkwardly shaped, but cohesive oval?

Chapter 143: Because I’m Not Popular, The Three Of Us Will Study Together

As always, Komi’s looking damn fine with her patented punk/goth style. Those open-shouldered skull shirt, slick choker, asymmetrical skirt, and striped leggings all come together to make her look like a total rockstar. It’s delightfully contrasted by the fact that’s she’s a pervert with a baseball obsession, but being fashion-conscious does help to round out her..unsavory side.

But, Yuu, sweetheart, as much as a skater dress looks good on you, you could do without the spikes. Granted, I’m hardly an authority on fashion, and in some circles, I’m sure it looks great. But it’s doesn’t seem as...flashy as she usually presents herself. Perhaps it’s because she’s with Tomoko and Komiyama that she doesn’t feel the pressure to be overtly stylish, and is more comfortable with something more subdued.

Man, the throwbacks just keep on comin’. What’s next, are they going to find Tomoko’s Yandere Boys Verbal Abuse CD hiding in her room?

Friendly reminder that Tomoko is, was, and will always be a piece of shit.

That said, Tomoko isn’t the type to be mean just for the heck of it. Her usual targets like Komiyama and Yoshida are only targeted because it’s been made apparent that they can handle it. With Komi-something, Tomoko knows that she’s not utterly irredeemable, which is why she takes any opportunity she can to milk Komi’s indecency. Because otherwise, she’ll be the bitch, and that’s a line even Tomoko won’t cross.

This chapter should be titled, “-the four of us will study.”

Speaking of which, Yuu and Komiyama have never seen Tomoko’s big plushie before, right? They probably think that it’s evident of Tomoko’s hidden cute side but if they ever found out about all the questionable things Tomoko does to the poor thing, that idea is sure to be shattered.

I suppose I should address the elephant in the room and ask what the hell is it with Yuu and her incessant sweating? Not even down her face or anything, but it flies off her body. Could this be her unique way of expressing hidden anxiety? That’s a scary possibility, to be sure.

No, there’s supposed to be beer cans everywhere with inebriated kids playing footsie under the table that quickly escalated into necking and–oh, wait, this is reality. My bad.

Ah, so these are the friends that Yuu-chan often brings up but we’ve never really seen before. They certainly look like a lively bunch, though that’s really all one can say from a single panel. Granted, if Yuu's school does have relatively inferior academics, then I imagine there’s a bit more goofing off going on here than actual studying.

Same here. That’s the reason yours truly goes off to work at the local cafe rather work at home. Too many distractions and external stimuli at your abode, and no one to hold you accountable for slacking off.

Not entirely sure if this is a joke lost in translation, but apparently Komiyama is humming a ditty about the Chiba Lotte Marines, namely infielder Nakamura Shougo. That’s actually kinda cute.

Got nothin’ to say. Itou just looks adorable here.

This, however, is decidedly NOT cute.

As the series’ resident purevert, Komiyama’s crush on Tomoki has always fluctuated between two extremes: innocent, schoolgirl affection and disturbingly fetishistic lust, and this line about, um...licking Tomoki’s eye circles falls way into the latter. For the record, I’m generally nonjudgmental about one’s unharmful sexual preferences–to each their own, you know–but given Komiyama’s history, I’m genuinely concerned for Tomoki’s wellbeing should the girl ever get her paws on him.

Itou is canonically the strongest character in the whole series. Those powers of perception were gained through unfathomable amounts of mental destruction.

Self-awareness? What self-awareness?

Is this going to be running gag now–Yuu innocently “complimenting” Komiyama with a between-the-lines insult?

I dig it.

Some may call it slacking, I call it strategic half-assery.

Ah, so Tomoko is officially aiming for a liberal arts school. For a girl who used to have zero prospects after high school, it’s uplifting to see Tomoko with an actual long-term goal in mind. It really is the only thing she’s reasonably passionate about, and the “starving artist” lifestyle actually fits pretty well with Tomoko’s approach to the world, so good for her.

Poor Yuu is never going to make it in the “real world”, is she?

Checking out the play-by-play when you’re supposed to be studying? Sometimes I forget that Komiyama actually has a cute side.

You know, given all the times when Tomoko and Komiyama are shitting at each other, these little bits of politeness between them are much more poignant. Sure, they’re being conscientious about it since Yuu’s there, but I can see this happening even if she wasn’t. See, Tomoko and Komiyama tend to mirror each other–insults are reciprocated with insults, and friendliness is reciprocated with friendliness. Even when they swing far on one side, something always pulls them back into equilibrium.

This would’ve been a good spot to put a gag here, with Komi expecting a strikeout only to explode with joy in front of her friends when the Lotte’s make an unexpected comeback. Instead, Nico Tanigawa goes for realism, validating the more pessimistic side of Komiyama. As for why they chose this route, I actually believe its to set up a little arc for Komi. As of now, baseball and Tomoko are her saving graces, and neither is looking good right now. Ultimately, this could lead to Komi facing the reality that dreams don’t always come true, and learning to accept that.

Yuu was definitely fishing for an answer to Nemo and Katou, and the fact that Tomoko doesn’t tell her right away is actually a good sign. Back in the old days, Tomoko would jump at the chance to “brag” about Yuu, her then-only friend because she was so insecure about their friendship falling apart. Since then, she’s made a number of meaningful friends, so that need to brag is long gone.

I love seeing characters describe other characters they’ve barely interacted with. Komi does see Nemo as a girl in the “sorta-in-crowd” so it makes sense that she would see her as “flashy”.

Says the girl who also dresses super fashionably.

Shocked, but not resentful. It’s uplighting to see Komiyama take Tomoko’s relative popularity in stride, and it’s a feeling that’s been there since the Kyoto Field Trip Arc. Despite having very few friends herself, she’s never thought poorly of Tomoko when the girl gained more friendships. If anything, it made Komiyama see her in a slightly better light now that she knows Tomoko isn’t completely irredeemable.

I could almost swear that Komi is doing that on purpose.

Cuties.

Everybody’s Golf is that PS4 game, correct? Good taste, this girl.

Shit, Tomoko, at least take her out to dinner first.

But it actually makes sense for why Tomoko brings it up like that. She knows that she’s at that stage in her relationship with Yuu that she just can’t casually molest her anymore (not that she should have been doing that in the first place, but still). Tomoko, the perv that she is, still has those shitty desires, but she’s more tactical about it. Like a politician.

Lol! Tomoko is such a jokester!

...right?

This harks back to those times when Tomoko fantasized about being an arms dealer/mercenary. Naturally, that’s a far cry from wanting to be a golfer, which is much more grounded in reality. Even Tomoko’s reasons about the payload and being a woman carries merit. Sure, it’s ultimately a fleeting interest, but at least her dreams aren’t so...how should I say, destructive anymore.

Even deeper into the realm of reality is her interest in being an esports streamer. Being a millennial, it’s a perfectly understandable desire that fits into Tomoko’s work ethic and personality. Sure, her last experience as a streamer was an utter failure, but now she’s got a good grasp on what it really takes to be one. My guess about Komiyama doubts stem from her thinking that female streamers become popular largely on their sex appeal, which Tomoko evidently does not have by most accounts.

Tomokitis (noun) – a rare disease characterized by an irrational lust for little brothers with baggy eyes named Tomoki. Prolonged exposure to Tomoki will worsen the lust to the point where mere proximity will trigger it. Those afflicted are forever hopeless.

As freaky as Komiyama is, I’m more impressed that her thirst for Tomoki overrides any disgust she may have at the possibility of being related to Tomoko. Well, Tomoki is basically a drug for her at this point, and junkies have accepted far worse to gain their fix.

Sploosh.

In the rare possibility that the universe decides to hook up Tomoki and Komiyama, Tomoko is going to make one hell of a cockblocker.

Shoot, even the cat gets a return appearance. Nico Tanigawa are really putting out all the stops lately with the nostalgia, ain’t they?

If memory serves, there isn’t a scene in the manga that shows Yuu being particularly interested in cats, so this was actually pulled straight from the anime. You know, that scene in the last episode where Yuu chases down a mentally broken Tomoko only to suddenly stop and pet a kitty? If they're willing to reference anime-original moments like that, then Nico Tanigawa must have fond memories of their anime adaptation.

Is Yuu taking about the dog or Yoshida? :p

Okay, so the dog. Wonder how she’d take to being compared to a pig?

First Pineapple-chan, and now Yuu-chan. It seems pretty mandatory that anybody outside of the loop would think that Yoshida was bullying Tomoko. Of course, once you realize that Tomoko has done things that would get her on the front page of a #MeeToo article, all bets are off.

Has Tomoko ever been this upfront about how she harasses Yuu? It was always my assumption that this was an unspoken reoccurrence between the two of them. At least the physical stuff anyway, as Tomoko is known for making “jokes” about getting Yuu knocked up. The poor girl really is too sweet for her own good.

While Yuu may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, that doesn’t mean she’s clueless about the sexual world (she supposedly lost her virginity after all). I’m sure she’s aware that most people wouldn’t tolerate Tomoko “accidental” groping, hence why she questions how someone could not bully her for that.

It’s pretty ironic how even though Yoshida is probably the most transparent character in the series, Tomoko still can’t figure out if she’s friends with her. That might be Tomoko’s fault somewhat as she’s the type who needs things spelled out to her, and given that Yoshida is more of an “actions speak louder than words” girl, you can see the barrier there. At some point, one of them’s going to have to take that first step and say it to the other’s face if this friendship is going to go places.

Poor Yuu. The first friend of the series is the last friend to see Tomoko’s growth.

This has been a headcanon of mine since the very beginning of the series, but I’ve always felt that Yuu Naruse had this inner sadness to her. That underneath her beautiful looks and kind personality was a girl who suffers more than she lets on. Remember, Yuu’s personality is fundamentally the same as it was in middle school, despite all the outwardly changes she made in high school. What Tomoko once called a “debut” could have actually been a survival tactic. Yuu never likes to be a bother, and her way of hiding her emotions isn’t always healthy, whether it’s holding back tears about a terrible beach, or making her friends sing for an hour at karaoke. And heaven forbid her breakup with her ex-boyfriend was uglier than she let on. Worse yet, Yuu knows her weaknesses, which only makes her self-deprecating moments hurt even more.

Perhaps I’m talking out of my ass, but hey, Yuu deserves an overcomplicated character analysis just like all the others.

And as always, Yuu, the angel she is, always puts Tomoko before herself...

I find it admirable that Komiyama is so secure about her social life. Her tiny circle of friends and lack of some Tomoki lovin’ have never truly brought her down, and she can even make fun of herself for it. It’s much different from Tomoko’s rampant self-consciousness of the earlier days, Some may argue it’s a lack of shame as opposed to self-confidence, but Komi is clearly making the best out of it.

Hikari, eh? Other than reminding me of a certain Pokêmon character, I wonder if that’s a joke about how Itou “lights up” when she unleashes her powers of observation.

...

So, um...fujoshi anyone?

The prices one pays to be a friend to Kotomi Komiyama.

All in all, this was a fairly easygoing chapter, as most chapters with the OG trio are. With the emotional rollercoaster that Golden Week had provided us, it’s nice to wind down a bit and reflect on the past. That’s not to say that this is a “recap” chapter by any means. Simply that this self-reflection exists to guide our heroines into the next stage of their young lives. It may be as simple as making a new friend over a perverted Skype call, but if there’s only one thing this series has taught us, it’s that the simple things are just the start of something greater.

#watamote #watamote review #chapter 143 #no matter how i look at it it's you guys' fault i'm not popular!#tomoko kuroki #yuu naruse #kotomi komiyama #tomoki kuroki #hikari itou #review

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dreamingbrownie · 5 years

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Tagging games #5

I’ve been tagged by @fandom-glazed and wanted to do this anyway, so here we go! Tagging anyone who wants to do this ^__^ 1. what’s your favorite way to dress? Black all the way. I’m a fancy goth on the inside and trying (but most likely failing) on the outside. 2. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Not to be so voulnerable to the people that mean a lot to me would be nice. Not getting attached so fucking fast. 3. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? I tend to love movies reducing me to a sobbing mess, so that doesn’t count as calming me down, does it? As for a series, I’m all for Merlin BBC at the moment which I watch unfrequently with @fandom-glazed on Netflix and usually laugh my ass off at Arthur and Merlin’s antics. :D 4. What does your room smell like? Dust, nailpolish, some tea and the slightly burnt smell of my old heaters. 5. Do you like to organize? Hell fucking no. I’m an ADD person, nope, I don’t. 6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one? German rock / gothic rock. Unheilig, Staubkind, Blutengel, Lord of the Lost, Letzte Instanz, that kind of thing. Not that either of those bands would ring a bell with most of tumblr users, I assume. 7. What song is your aesthetic? Oh man, making me choose there is mean. Ghost Love Score by Nightwish, Stand my ground by Within Temptation, Morgana by Lord of the Lost. Hard and heavy. 8. What color do you think goes best with your personality? Crimson like my hair right now, probably. 9. Do you believe in auras? Nope. 10. What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Ballet. To wish for having been introduced to how to ruin your body in the most beautiful way as a child is kind of unhealthy. 11. Vague about your crush(es) Valentin Winter / van Porcelain. That man. Go to his tumblr @valentinvanporcelaine and dare ask me again why I’m addicted to his aesthetics. 12. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? Yep. Not talking about specific people in my personal life here tho. 13. Talk about an AU or story you came up with Oh boy, here we go. If you get me started on my vampire novels, we’ll be here all day and I won’t even be half way finished. I adore my own characters to a decree that might be weird, I ship some of them and the main gay pair Count Louis and his life long best friend and personal vassal Chris, later Knight of Alderton, to death and writing anything with those two idiots in love soothes me so much. The main trilogy (A shimmer of Red, Black and Silver respectively) is huge (as in 200k for the first, 140k for the second and 110k as of yet for the unfinished third) but not finished yet, I’m almost there and would have been a year ago if I’d just get my arse out of the Fantastic Beasts Fandom and saunter off to writing my own stuff again. Unfortunately, Albus and Gellert own my ass at the moment and I’m overflowing with plotbunnies that won’t go away on their own. I know my mind. I need to write them all down before I get any peace at all. Lol. 14. Do you like makeup? No, not really, I like sharp-winged-eyeliner though. 15. Do you prefer space or the ocean? Ocean all the way. Space is fascinating and I’m a massive nerd for SpaceX because their projects are so promising for the future of mankind, but standing at the shore, being able to breathe properly again (asthma kid here, hi) and cry from sheer relief of hearing the waves crash against the cliff or roll onto the beach again is my life blood. I’ll have that next week again. Fucking finally. The sea soothes me so, so much and I suffer from constant longing for distance. We have a very fitting word for the feeling in German. Fernweh. Roughly translated to “I want to get far away from here so much it hurts.” Yeah, that’s the German language right there for you. 16. If you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live? Pandora, probably. You know, three meters tall blue humanoids, a captivating nature, trees large enough to be a bother for the planet’s rotation, probably? Yeah. I’d like that very much. 17. What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) I’m quite content with the German system of Social economy. Pure capitalism, socialism and communism are shit, don’t work in the long run and should just be abolished altogether. 18. What animal would you keep as a pet, if you could? Give me a black cat, please 19. What do you think our purpose is in the universe? To find our place between the stars, become a multi planetary species and to develop a way that’s not as destructive to the planet we inhabit. There’s a beautiful sentence that sums it all up in Interstellar from Cooper: “We might have been born on earth, but we don’t have to die here.” 20. Do you believe in god(s)? Nope. Atheist all the way. Before anyone misunderstands me, though: believe whatever you want to, I don’t judge people for their religion, it’s just so not my tea. 21. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? Yep. Chasing cars by Snow Patrol. 22. What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? Mean question. I only have an ex-girlfriend and sometimes I miss her gentleness and how instantly she saw right through me, but she replaced me, we’ve been done for a bit more than five years now and I’m over her. :) 23. Do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets? Soft, fluffy blankets all the way. 24. What is your favorite thing to learn about? History. What do you think I’d study that for? :D 25. What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Man, that’s a mean one again. I’m pretty solid on English history, but I don’t know the first thing about Asian history altogether because german schools don’t teach that and we’ve got a different subject for Asian culture in university so it’s not included in my must-do-schedule too, but I’d like to learn more about it soon. 26. What do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here) Nope, noping right out, nopedinopenope, not my tea. At all. 27. What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? The one I had was... bad. Not talking about that here any further tho. 28. Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? A couple of weeks ago, my answer would have been yes, but I’ve got that all sorted out now. Not dwelling on it, though. It doesn’t matter. 29. What do you think about tumblr discourse? Ughhh. Exhausting most of the time. I loved the metas in the Sherlock fandom before it all fell apart and I like Fantastic Beasts metas, but people get so emotional so fast that normal discussions are all but impossible here. 30. What instrument do you wish you could master? Piano. Still salty that I’ve been forced to stop that as a child. 31. How easy is it for you to be honest? Very. I’m a very honest person and I’m shite at lying. 32. Do you have any strange interests? Fandoms, probably? xD I find fossils infinetely fascinating, anything conserning dragons (that sounds strange in context, I’m well aware that they don’t exist) and the way stars are born in large nebulas is something poetic to me. 33. Do you have any strange fears? Strange? I dunno, I’ve just about ran out of the kitched screaming at the top of my lungs when a fucking spider dropped ON MY HEAD yesterday evening, you tell me if that’s strange. Drowning would suck a lot, I guess. Anything that makes you suffocate. Nope. 34. What food do you binge on when you’re lazy? Toast with something on it. I did that in exam week last week, not because I’m lazy but because I just did not have the time or the nerves for cooking. 35. When you get angry, how do you show it? I go all quiet and drill my posture to absolute perfection until it hurts. You’ll notice when I’m mad. Seldom happens, though, I’m hard to offend. 36. Do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.) Picking fingers. Bad habit that I’m trying to get rid of. 37. What do you listen to music on? YouTube and Spotify on the PC, used my phone a massive lot for that during the summer too but now with all the layers of jackets and coats and such it’s a bit hard to stuff my large phone anywhere. 38. Are you left brained or right brained? Uhhhh what? I’m right handed, but I don’t think I have any tendencies otherwise. 39. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. 40. Do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? Light blankets for around the flat, heavy in bed. I’d like to be able to breathe.

#tagging games #tagging games part five #not hp

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werevulvi · 5 years

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I've wanted to write some about my femininity for a while but not sure how to phrase it. I want to explain why and what it means to me, in more depth. I wear it as an artform, as a shield to protect my bare skin, as an expression of my personality. It can be called goth, alternative, dark, gloomy, witchy, or whatever you want. It is an unconventional form of femininity that is largely looked down upon by society. You may not recognise it as such, or scoff at that notion, but my experiences of bullying and harrassment for "looking weird" tell me otherwise. I first started finding it within myself somewhere around age 12.

My femininity does not make me fragile, or compliant. I'm a warrior of the psychological kind, and of modern times. The kind of armour I need is not steel: but the bravery to be different and be confident about it, as well as the courage to take something commonly accepted by society and use it for reasons that do not include "being approved" or to be submissive for society, men, or even other women. It says: here's what I am and what I look like, you do not have to approve of it but I will appreciate those who genuinely do.

My femininity is rough with sharp edges. I roughed it up with combat boots to keep my feet steady on the ground, a shaved head and un-concealed scars to show my battles and fearlessness. It's been through a hell of dysphoria, self-hate and suppression. It's been beaten and screamed at, tossed aside and torn apart... yet survived it all and came out stronger on the other side. It does not make me subservent, because my strength is not in my clothes, jewellery or the makeup I wear on my face. My strength is not in muscle but comes from within, and none of those things I wear weaken me.

There are different kinds of beauty, and mine is just one kind. I am beautiful regardless of my femininity, but with it, I can personalise and express my beauty the way that pleases my artistic mind and chaotic, fiery personality. It is in a sense, an extension of myself, cause it shows a glimpse of who I am as a person beyond my skin. The makeup, jewellery and clothing may be superficial additions, but their meaning is anything but superficial.

Humans have, throughout the entire history of time, expressed themselves with jewellery, makeup, face/body paint, tattoos, piercings, colourful clothing, etc. Femininity is just as ancient as masculinity and it has not always been meant for or used by women. It is our peacock feathers. Literally the first piece of clothing ever invented was a skirt. So forgive me for not believing femininity to be less natural than masculinity. It is not. And its many purposes have been with us since the dawn of time. I see femininity as perhaps more so an expression of the soul and the spiritual, and masculinity more so of the mind, and the rational. Femininity often has connotations of vulnerability, but vunlerability is not to be confused with weakness. And anyone who does has greatly misunderstood it, for the one who dares to be vulnerable does so out of strength.

However, I do understand and see that what modern times and many human societies have done to femininity is horrenduous, harmful and tragic. I do not condone that, or it being forced upon women and girls of today. But that does not make femininity in and of itself a bad thing. You ironically, forget to look beyond the surface. But back to me.

My femininity has been trampled on, scoffed at. I've been called a halloween costume for it, whore, attention-seeker, circus freak, clown, and so on. I’ve been taken advantage of because of it, groped at night clubs cause my boobs were partially showing or my skirt was short, kissed unwillingly cause my face looked cute in makeup. Yet I persist. Creeps do not define me. Often I hear I am too extreme and that I should tone it down. But why, and for whom? Why should I suppress or change my style for other people? Do my dark lipstick or my glittery skirt really embarrass them that much? I wonder why. So you see I never did it for other people. I am doing it despite what other people think.

Because I did suppress it. As my teenage dysphoria increased into my late teens and twenties, and masculinity could help me pass as male in society... still drawn to the femninity I loved, I had to sacrifice it. On rare occasion I dressed up fem while alone in the privacy of my own home, but even that clashed too hard with my dysphoria. I felt like a closet transvestite, yearning for forbidden fruit. It didn't help when I could pass with the help of testosterone, cause I didn't like being perceived as a man in drag, or the dangers that could put me in. I couldn't handle the dysphoria with my femininity, and I couldn't fully be myself without it. A catch 22.

I asked myself: Does my femininity matter more to me than dealing with my dysphoria? I said no, but that it matters just as much. I ended up with a bargain: too masculine for my comfort, and too feminine for my dysphoria. It was the best I could do, but it was no solution. There was no solution.

Until I managed to heal my dysphoria, and I did so unintentionally by looking into my traumas and trying to figure out if I really wanted FtM bottom surgery or not. I followed my gut feeling, and it led me to a reality in which I didn't hate my body's femaleness anymore. It led me to love it. But it also made my masculinity hurt like self-inflicted wounds that won’t heal. (Apparently there’s deep poetry to be found in my inconveniently reversed dysphoria... It is the pain I carry from having suppressed my femininity, almost like a very real consequence of it. I’ve never seen it that way before. Huh, interesting.)

I remember on literally the first day of my detransition I ran down to my storage room, so excited I was tripping over my own feet in the stairs and sliding on the floor towards where I kept my things. My feminine things, that I had kept in boxes throughout my entire 9 years long FtM transition. A black dress that I had bought and worn only once, summer of 2008 shortly before I made the decision to transition, fit me perfectly with a stuffed bra. I nearly fell to the floor crying in happiness. I looked so good, I felt so good. I felt... at home.

Digging up my femininity from dusty moving boxes after all that time, and all that struggling to find some kind of comfort within myself, just to survive... made me realise I had been running in the wrong direction entirely. My femininity is genuine. It comes from my heart. It is the little princess my parents didn't let me be as a child cause it could get stained, so I had to put it away for the "comfortable" boy clothes. But it did get stained... and it took me a lifetime to wash out the stains that other people had put on my femininity, so that I could wear it with pride again. I washed away my shame from it and now it is stain-proof and strong as steel.

My femininity is not just something I wear. I am feminine, inside and out.

#personal #femininity #my view on it in general and in depth #my perspective #detransition #femininity and dysphoria #feminine woman #femme #ftmtf #i too go against society #and i always have #i wouldnt even know how to fit in #my dysphoria taught me a lot #im still dysphoric but not that way

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buddaimond · 6 years

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Excerpts regarding “High Life”, highlighted parts about Rob, meeting with André Benjamin (another cast of High Life), opps a little spoiler of High Life, BTS of shooting High Life in Cologne, quotes from the producer Andrew Lauren, words from Olivier Assayas about Claire Denis, and words from Des Hamilton :

“High Life,” which cost millions more to make than any of Denis’s previous films, seems, on its surface, dramatically divergent from the rest of her body of work, yet versions of its premise swirled inside Denis’s mind for more than a decade. For years, she had wanted to tell the story of the last person in the world. In the film, the galactic convicts perish one by one. Only a single felon survives, along with his daughter, who was born on the spaceship. (Olafur Eliasson, the Danish-Icelandic conceptual artist who a decade ago erected waterfalls in the East River, designed the spaceship for the movie.) Their relationship—literally forged in a vacuum, with a whiff of the taboo—was her primary interest in the story. “It’s feminine and masculine,” Denis said. “It’s family blood but it’s not the same sex.”

The script, which Denis wrote with her longtime screenwriter, Jean-Pol Fargeau, took years to complete. (Zadie Smith and Nick Laird worked on a draft that Denis ultimately rejected.) Though Denis treats scripts as provisional and merely suggestive documents, hers are full of vivid sensory detail. When “High Life” ’s main character, played by Robert Pattinson, is introduced, he is “pressed against the exterior of the spaceship, like a mountain climber against a sheer cliff face.” Later, when he changes out of his spacesuit, he does so “like a knight removing armor.”

Denis saw Pattinson in “Twilight,” she said, and was struck by his “heartrending charisma.” She had wanted someone older for “High Life”—she thought at one point of Philip Seymour Hoffman—but after meeting with Pattinson in Los Angeles and Paris she realized that “he was already in the film.” She went on, “When he said to me, ‘Are you sure?’ I said, ‘It’s already too late. It’s you or nobody else.’ ” She chose “High Life” ’s other stars, including Juliette Binoche and the English model and actress Mia Goth, with similarly instinctual possessiveness. In the summer of 2015, Denis and her producer, Oliver Dungey, flew to Atlanta to meet André Benjamin, the rapper, actor, producer, adroit hat-wearer, and all-around cultural icon, better known by his stage name, André 3000, and for his flamboyant role in the Atlanta hip-hop duo OutKast. Denis had enjoyed Benjamin’s lead performance in “All Is by My Side,” a 2014 biopic of Jimi Hendrix, and she had got it in her mind that he should play a part in “High Life.”

The three had agreed to meet at the St. Regis Hotel’s restaurant for lunch. “Here we are,” Dungey recalled, “me—this sort of posh, square English guy—and Claire—this scorny French lady—and in walks André.” Benjamin said, “I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know who you are or what you want, but everyone is telling me I have to meet with you and I’ve got to do this film.”

“They immediately hit it off,” Dungey said. “I’m just sitting there, picking at grits. The purpose of the trip was accomplished within thirty seconds.”

The only other people in the restaurant were two Gambian ladies visiting from, of all places, the Cotswolds. “Why were they there?” Dungey said. “I don’t know. But, then again, why were we there?

“Claire and André were talking about eating snake,” he continued. He shrugged in a manner that suggested his exclusion from the conversation had been so profound as to be painless. “Claire was saying how it gives you this vitality, this life force. And one of these women from Gambia turns around and says, ‘She’s right!’ ”

Moments later, a statuesque woman arrived. “She waltzes in and apparently knows André,” Dungey said. “She hugs him, asks how he’s been, blah, blah, blah. This woman looks fantastic: she has ribbons in her hair, lots of beads, she’s colorfully dressed. André introduces her to us as Dana.” Here Dungey paused, smiled, and shook his head. “This is not Dana. This is Queen Latifah.

“Claire is obviously taken with this woman while having no idea who she is. She just kept telling her she looked like a queen,” he continued. (Denis insists that she was well aware of Dana’s identity.) “The ladies from Gambia know who she is, though, and they also know who André is, and they ask for a photo. Queen Latifah ended up paying for all our lunches without saying anything.”

Dungey added, “It was really one of the most charming and weird moments of my entire life.”

........

Similarly, in “High Life,” some of the convicts are black, but they are not a message-telegraphing majority. When the film’s American producers read the script, they urged Denis to change the fact that the first character to die was a black man. In the U.S. today, they told her, this was just not done. For Americans, Denis said, the problem of racism “is buried so deep. For me, it was not deep.” She refused to change the plot, writing in more dialogue instead. In the final version, André Benjamin’s character says, “See? Even in outer space, the black ones are the first to die.”

.......

With “High Life,” Denis will inevitably receive more international attention than she ever has, but for years many filmmakers have spoken of her as a sort of secret saint

........

“It’s such a macho, minimalist film,” said Andrew Lauren, one of the producers of “High Life” and its financier, who saw “Beau Travail” years ago, on the recommendation of his father, the designer Ralph Lauren. “When this new project came to us, and I went back through Denis’s filmography, I was, like, ‘Wait, she did “Beau Travail”?’ I would have sworn that a man made it. She’s like the precursor to Kathryn Bigelow.”

........

Unlike Denis’s past movies, which were shot on location, mostly in France and Africa, “High Life” was largely filmed at a studio in Cologne, during two months last fall. The cast and Denis stayed at a hotel thirty minutes away. The drive, made each morning and night—often with a P.A. behind the wheel who was described to me as “the worst driver in the history of mankind”—took them past oil refineries, sausage factories, and tractor-trailer bordellos that were parked, with German efficiency, along the highway exits.

By all reports, it was a trying experience. Denis was unused to filming in a studio. She made scene changes constantly and with little warning, sometimes by text message. Benjamin described an atmosphere of inadvertent method acting. “These convicts are all supposed to be from different places—they don’t know one another at first, and they’re just trying to make it,” he said. “And, on set, it was the same! I’m this guy from Atlanta, Claire’s French, obviously, most of the guys on set are German, the actors didn’t know each other. It was a trip.” Robert Pattinson, who, several people said, spent much of his time on set asking existential questions—Wait, who am I in this movie? What are we making here?—told me, “It’s a very abstract way of working. It feels like experimental theatre, frankly.”

Lauren said, “A lot of people were thinking, This is good for my résumé, but I wish I weren’t here.” He continued, “I think, if you make a movie with Claire, you can make any movie.” He compared the process to over-preparing for the SATs, or training at high altitudes, so that your performance at sea level feels easier on game day. At an early color-test screening, held at an ornate theatre in Cologne, Denis’s voice was the only one in the room, saying, “Merde! Crap! What are we doing? Why am I here?” Lauren said he thought “everyone sort of took it personally.”

At the end of each day, the cast and crew convened at the hotel bar. “Everyone would sort of be sitting at different parts of the bar, and she’d walk in and it was, like, Shit! Claire’s here!” Lauren recalled. “I saw a lot of people wanting to leave many, many times, but they stayed. They stay because they love her—even though they can’t stand her.”

Denis does not deny such behavior. “I can be the worst person, the meanest person on a set,” she said. “Shouting, screaming, complaining. I don’t have a lot of respect for myself as a director. People accept me the way I am, because they know I’m not faking. Probably.”

When I described these accounts to the filmmaker Olivier Assayas, a close friend of Denis’s, he laughed. “There’s a certain form of chaos in the way she works,” he said. “When you make movies, it’s always disturbing how confident everyone involved is that they know how things should be done. And you have to constantly remind them, No, you don’t know how it’s done, I don’t know how it’s done, nobody knows how it’s done. You create chaos as a way of destabilizing the surroundings that could bring you to make something that would otherwise be conventional.”

.....

Hamilton (casting director)recalled witnessing the initial meeting between Denis and Pattinson, in Los Angeles, and feeling like “these are two people on a date, and I really shouldn’t be here, maybe I should actually remove myself?” With obvious pride, Denis recounted how Pattinson took the train from London to visit her in Paris. “He came to me like a friend,” she told me. “You know, in London, Robert has to hide because of girls?” (A representative for Pattinson said, “He doesn’t hide from anyone.”)

Full Article

#Claire Denis #Robert Pattinson #The New Yorker #High Life

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searchpartydnd · 6 years

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Final Session of Arc 1, Fate Touched

Session 10:

Inveni Domus, otherwise known as The Search Party, is a group of five skilled individuals who are dedicating their time to recovering the Novus Designs. These ancient artifacts were some of the first magical items ever created, only ever brought together once in recorded history by the circle of eight, the founding fathers of modern magic (ie Bigby, Volo, Modenkainen, Otiluke, etc.). Their main goal is to ultimately stop Lady Cecilia, a powerful entity who claims she is a god, from obtaining any of the designs to use for her own unpleasant purposes.

Current Party Members:

Avaar Acosta - High Elf Arcane Archer

Calladyne - Half-Elf Glamour Bard

Dixillion Ramada - Human Revenant Champion Fighter

Val Ganderstim - Aasimar Warlock of the Raven Queen

Veir Torunn - Dwarven Gunslinger

Artifacts recovered: 2

Turmoil on the Tundra

It’s the dead of winter up in the icy plains that encircle the peaks of Lyrengorn. The party had just recovered Cepheus, the Shroud of Tears, The Second. The clasp, created by the pre-ascended Raven Queen, is now worn by Val, who has just fucked up.

Like, big time.

The party had been in Bigby’s tower, stumbling through weird gravity, hacking desperately at enormous mimics, and getting stomped on by powerful constructs in bath houses. They eventually reached Bigby’s study, recovering the item as well as the wizard’s personal journal. Reading through, they had found more information about other Novus Designs and one was mentioned to be a bow.

Most party members immediately looked to Avaar, as she seemed a likely candidate to wield it. However, Avaar expressed her dislike to take on another magical item that was going to attract the attention of undesirables.

Avaar, prior to meeting the party, had willingly put on armor owned by a man named Lucidious. She soon found out, however, that she could not remove the armor and that the wearer had to obey all of their master’s commands. Lucidious turned out to be a massive evil dick and turned Avaar’s life into a living nightmare, forcing her to do terrible things, making her work for evil organizations.

Lucidious was killed in an attack, leaving Avaar free of him, but not of the armor. She came to Tal’dorei and joined up with Inveni Domus, eventually revealing to her friends the curse she had to live with. In an fight with Hags, Avaar was left greatly injured and mentally scarred, going into a nightmarish coma. Later, after she awoke and helped the party fend of Queen Cecilia’s lackeys, the armor began to break and chip away, finally getting fully removed when the party realized the magic binding it to Aavar was no longer there.

After Avaar had understandably voiced her distaste to take on another magical item, Val, on an rather unkind impulse, had commented “Well, you did wear that armor for a while,” implying that the arcane archer had also attracted unwanted attention and terrible things in her time enslaved to Lucidious.

Avaar just walked out. Dixie gave chase, while Calladyne followed more slowly. Val stayed behind to help Veir gather the items they needed before heading out into the Tundra. A blizzard was approaching on the horizon.

Calladyne reprimanded Val for the comment, pointing out how the 16-year-old had been rather unkind to the group and really needed to re-examine how she treated her friends.

Val, still desperate to apologize, ran off to find Dixie and Avaar. When she caught up, Avaar snapped at the Warlock.

“You don’t think I don’t know what I have done? I have to live with that guilt every day!” (I’m paraphrasing here) “Is this how you treat your friends? Grow up Val!”

The blizzard finally hit the party, making it hard to see. They discuss whether or not to take shelter in Bigby’s tower or make the trek back to Lyrengorn. They don’t get the chance to decide was a massive form dashed past, scooping up Val in the process.

Two Yetis, attracted by the very loud noises we were making, decided to pay us a visit.

For the first half of the battle, Val was basically a football, getting thrown about and used as a bludgeoning weapon.

They were able to defeat the Yetis due to a well timed Hypnotic Pattern by Calladyne.

Licking their wounds, the party headed back for Lyrengorn, trading their winter cloths for garments more suited for tropical weather. Avaar and Dixie head off together to find out more information from the Archdruid of the main temple in the sanctuary while Veir, Calladyne, and Val head off on seperate business.

Avaar and Dixie speak with the head ArchDruid, asking about the Winter Court in the Feywilde (of which they believe Calladyne was part of). Yura says it is a nasty topic, and that the queen is the nastiest topic of that court. The Archdruid describes her as cold and vicious, and that she is a dangerous entity to have as an enemy. Calladyne spends time at a shrine to the Archeart, a god that she once worshipped before she was taken into a Fey court. Unsure of her belief in gods, she asks for guidance of some kind. She feels nothing, but she later discovers a new line at the end of her newest song.

Val goes to inform the airship captain that they found what they were looking for, only to instead receive word that the archanist (Allura Vysoren) they were originally going to visit in Vasselheim had shown up in Whitestone. Lord and Lady De Rolo had informed her of the party’s activities and intent, causing the mage to contact the entire Arcana Pansophical and bring the matter to their attention. They are to leave in the morning and head directly for Vasselheim, instead of going to Emon and then charter a ship to the holy city.

Val goes to the hostel where they were staying to inform the group of this new change, but finds only Calladyne (Performing Cherry Wine). After passing along the information, Val says she is going to sleep in the airship for the night, to get out of the party’s way. Calla says the party wouldn’t mind, but understands if Val was uncomfortable. Before Val leaves, Calladyne says she wants to talk later, when everyone’s heads are clearer.

Veir heads off into the city in search of something, but the party does not know what happens until later.

As night takes the sanctuary city, Calladyne performs for the people, garnering many new fans after another stunning performance (and raising her fame stat to 13). Avaar was also able to glean some more backstory about Veir’s past, learning that his drive was to prove the capability of firearms and, by extension, himself.

Calladyne and Avaar (they are an item) share an intimate moment that night and Avaar tells Calladyne that she’s been looking into the Feywilde so that she can help the bard if her past ever comes back. Calladyne sees the effort put in to helping her / saving her and breaks down, recognizing that she might actually be free from the Archfey and Her illusions. Calla tells her lover everything that happened to her while she was in the Feywilde in the court of a sadistic archfey. The full extent of these terrible events are secret for now, but who knows when they may come spilling out.

The party departed on the small De Rolo airship they had arrived in the next morning. For two weeks they traveled, and for two weeks, there were some shenanigans and conversations to be had.

Apparently, on his short trip around the city, Veir had acquired magical eye gear that allowed him to read multiple languages. He needed them in order to properly read Bigby’s journal, which was written in several different languages.

Avaar wasn’t ready to deal with it.

He also made a kite for some reason.

It wasn’t very well crafted.

Calladyne was able to finally pull Val aside for their talk, mentioning a certain incident that had occurred in Whitestone.

Long story short, emotions were running high when baby Vax was taken, so when the council member who had betrayed the royal family refused to answer any questions regarding the organization she worked for, Val had gotten…trigger happy.

After another refusal to comply, even though the warlock was threatening to kill the woman and use her pact of the tome ability that allowed the questioning of a soul, Val shot off eldritch blasts into the Myriad member’s chest, killing the bound captive. She asked her question and through the fast action of Calladyne, the present party members were able to revivify the woman.

Val had never killed someone is cold blood before. She hadn’t even considered it until Calladyne had pointed it out. Additionally, Calladyne mentioned similar things happening to her (being killed and revived) on multiple occasions, though she doesn’t specify further. This led to some very troubled thoughts and inner turmoil for the young Aasimar.

“I’m afraid of snakes.” Those were the first words Avaar addressed Val with since their confrontation outside of Bigby’s tower.

“When my siblings and I would fight, we’d make up by telling each other a secret about ourselves,” Avaar explained.

Val admitted she didn’t like dressing like a goth, which she had been doing since she was twelve. She preferred her current Valkyrie look over the dark aesthetic she had thought all Raven Queen took up.

Later, as the airship neared Vasselheim, Calla and Avaar shared a talk about fate. Avaar refuses to believe in it, not trusting her life in the hands of a god, preferring that her past was controlled solely by her own actions. Calla confessed that she believed the opposite, that they were destined to be on this path. She told Avaar she’d rather die a martyr than live as a survivor.

Vasselheim in view now, the party finds that the artifacts they currently have react in the presence of one another, becoming more active and magically charged. Dixie’s hand has also begun to glow, shining brighter and brighter the closer the party neared the city.

Landing just outside the city, Val is practically jumping for joy, excited to finally officially commune with her patron and show her friends around the city she was trained in not too long ago.

Dixie and Calla head off to the Platinum Sanctuary first, the scale on Dixie’s hand shining brighter as they approached Bahamut’s center of worship.

Dixie met the dragon god who resurrected her, confused and conservative about her true feelings towards her current relationship with the god of justice.

Mad props to our DM @its-okay-to-yowz because he made one hell of a scary dragon god when he began screaming “DON’T LIE TO ME DIXILLION!”

Through a bit more prodding, The Platinum Dragon was able to get his revenant to embrace her desire for vengeance. They rounded out their conversation almost like coach psyching up their player for a game.

Dixie is now a Champion Fighter with one level in Paladin.

Veir ventured off to go gather supplies while Avaar was dragged along by Val to the Duskmeadow.

Upon approaching the steps, the doors are opened for the pair and Val’s raven flies off, leading them to the pool of blood deep in the temple. Val won’t shut up, voicing her previous frustration that the priests wouldn’t let her into the communion room before. Avaar is visibly nervous about the whole process, despite Val’s assurances that everything is going to be fine.

Shedding some clothing, Val tells Avaar that things might get wonky with time and she may be going for a while before practically swan diving into the pool of icy blood.

Val still has to come to very cusp of death in order to see her patron, so it takes her a moment to work up the will to actively drown herself. Avaar watches as the surface where Val disappeared gets violently disturbed after a minute, showing obvious signs of someone drowning, but she holds herself back as the blood eventually stills. No body floats to the top.

Val finds herself in the same dark space she usually sees in her dreams, her Raven on the floor in front of her. Normally, it would either speak as her Patron or become her Patron, but this time it transforms into a man. It’s Vax.

He beckons the warlock and she follows excitedly, heading into the blackness, seemingly going nowhere.

Eventually, the ground becomes smooth obsidian granite and a doorway appears. Vax turns to Val.

“No matter what happens, you should know that she is so proud of you.” He presses a simple black bracelet of woven thread into her hand before Val steps inside.

Val enters the Raven Queen’s throne room, a chamber made of shifting shadows. The Goddess herself is in her smaller form, appearing more humanoid as she welcomes Val.

(The order as to what was said here is a bit wonky, but the details are there.)

The Matron of Ravens tells Val that she is glad to finally speak with her, noting how Val is wearing her clasp, and that she and the other gods have seen something on the horizon that they can’t make out. The strings of fate have blurred. She explains that in her desperation to find a candidate to enforce her hand in the conflict to come, she chose the young Aasimar, much to young at the time to be burdened with such a task. She apologized to Val for how things were, but Val just replied “I’m used to it. This is what I want to do. I chose to follow you on my own, it was my decision to make.”

The Raven Queen removed her mask at that point, revealing her true face to a now crying Val. She whispered her name to her warlock, locking the secret into the back of the teenager’s mind. Val knows the name, it’s within her, but she doesn’t actually have to means to recall it or speak it. She just carries with her the knowledge that she knows the name.

Val finds out from her Goddess that there were five fate touched that the Gods were scrambling to get a hold of, Val among them. It is implied that the others are the members of Inveni Domus.

Val apologized for not upholding the values she was supposed to embody in Whitestone, to which the Raven Queen agrees that it was a most undesirable action that should never occur again.

The Raven Queen warns again that there are dark times ahead, that she is fearful of not being able to see where the threads are leading. Val tells her that she’ll shine some light on the matter. RQ tells Val to go get ‘em (or something the writer will be editing this later) to which Val says “You know I will.”

Feathers.

Cut to six hours later. Avaar has been worried sick, curing fate and the Raven Queen, afraid for the youngest party member. Val bursts out of the pool, yelling for Avaar. Helping the teen out of the pool, Avaar asks what happened. Val tells her all about the meeting (leaving out certain, more private bits), trying to dispel Avaar’s worry.

Avaar, however, is not convinced, still apprehensive to trust a God who chose a 16-year-old to be her champion. Val tells her that she doesn’t think she is her goddess’s champion, that the man she met in the meeting was the holder of that title.

Avaar asked what happened to him. Val’s response was not comforting. (bottom right corner doodle in previous picture.

So we close, zooming out from the five fate touched as they attend to their various activities.

A Fate Forged in Iron (Veir)

A Fate of Vengeance (Dixie)

A Fate Embraced (Calladyne)

A Fate Looking Ahead (Val)

A Fate Redeemed (Avaar)

author’s note :The crazy thing is, we all developed our backstories and characters separately, having no knowledge of what anyone was planning. @its-okay-to-yowz wanted us to all be fate touched from the very start, even before we created characters, as we had all been brought together by chance at GenCon and through a couple of chance meetings and well timed inquiries.

He created a Novas Design made by the Raven Queen even he knew that Val was going to be a Warlock of hers. Our character colors all match up. Tony was able to take elements of our backstories and weave them together. Calla and Avaar both went through similar stories of trauma and abuse, bonding over their shared struggles. It was meant to be the whole time, and we had no idea. Tony just sat back and watched us flounder about and struggle to grasp how perfect our stories were and how well everything fit together.

Thus the first arc as named Fate Touched.

#The Search Party #Avaar Acosta #Calladyne #Dixillion Ramada #Veir Torunn #Val Ganderstim #The Search party D&D #dungeons and dragons #Critical Role #taldorei campaign setting #percival de rolo #Vex'ahlia #allura vysoren #Bahamut #The Raven Queen #Raven Queen #Vax'ildan #long post

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solemnveloci · 6 years

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COCO & BOOK OF LIFE Joint Review

Alright, lemme just get this out of the way.

I know that I’m gonna get some people saying “Hey, don’t compare them! They did a good job conveying two different stories, don’t be spiteful to one over the other!” and that’s a good point. I didn’t even intend on watching them back to back at first.

However, I needed a cleanser after the three straight Open Season movies I’d watched, and it made more sense to me to rewatch TBoL and to… first-watch Coco since they were both about the same holiday. So, worry not. I’ll get it over with quick in the beginning.

Let’s start! (obvious spoilers for both movies)

The Book of Life was practically strangled to death before its time by the multiple years in production until it was finally accepted by ReelFX. The creative minds behind the project were native Mexicans Jorge Gutierrez and Sandra Gutierrez, famous for such projects as El Tigre, Carmen Got Expelled, and with resident fish-kisser Guillermo Del Toro working as producer, they could finally bring their idea to fruition.

Then Lee Unkrich went to Mexico on holiday, mentioned sugar skulls to his higher-ups, and Pixar immediately grabbed him by the throat and said, “DUDE MAKE A MOVIE.” DisNepotism at its finest.

Of course, Disney proceeded to screw themselves over so hard they practically ripped their metaphorical cocks off when they tried to trademark DIA LOS MUERTOS so that no icky DreamWorks producer could get their paws on it. The blatancy of this dick movie rightfully pissed off about a million Latino people (Mexican or otherwise) and Disney realized that maybe they had the wrong priorities. In order to assuage the backlash, they threw about six Mexican creators at the script and creative departments and begged them to sew up the Austria-sized fuckup.

Coco now sits as the highest animated film of all time in Mexico. I’d say they helped a lot.

PROS

The Book of Life:

God, the voice acting is amazing. How the hell they got Channing Tatum in this, I’ll never know, but he nails his lines like he’s not even trying. Kate Del Castillo and Diego Luna are my two favorites, though, considering they dual-dubbed La Muerte and Manolo in both English and Latin American Spanish. This line in particular always gets me.

I adore the puppets as a framing device. There’s just something so cool about it, especially with how characters like Xibalba and the Candlemaker interact with them.

Joaquin shouting his own name like a Pokémon every time he does something.

The Mariachi brothers physically roll around sometimes instead of walking.

Both versions of Manolo’s love song are gorgeous and sweet. They’re a welcome addition to the jukebox musical style of the rest.

Placido Domingo as Manolo’s disabled, opera-singing, bullfighter great-grandpa.

*chuckles* “They crushed our dreams!”

Manolo’s mom is so darling, you guys.

“Being bullfighters, we often flirt with death.” “And that’s why there’s so many of you down here.”

Xibalba, the god of evil, pigging out on a giant table of food and causally telling Manolo that’s he’s been completely screwed over.

Something’s oddly funny about the fact that Chakal’s got a giant, untouched drawing of the medal in his Cave O’ Death.

“Hey! My arthritis is gone!”

“Hello… puddle.”

Manolo’s mom bitchslapping Chakal.

The scene where Manolo apologizes to all the bulls his family killed, and the way the bull just clams down and dissolves into marigolds, like its soul was just put to rest.

Luchadore Priest. Hell, just the whole fight scene.

The kiss between Manolo and Maria, not helped by the fact I though he was flipping Chakal off during it instead of raising a finger.

“Men! Typical.” I love that delivery. “WELP, SAW THIS SHIT COMIN’.”

The little goth kid passing out when La Muerte undisguises herself.

Coco:

Again, the voice acting, fucking astounding. Props goes to Gael Garcia Benal, he pulls off his character so well! Disney/Pixar movies have sort of been lackluster with their voice acting (with a few exceptions) but this one was perfect.

*flashback to Ernesto getting flattened under a bell* “I wanna be just like him!”

“Miguel, vitamins are real.” “Well, now I’m thinking they might be!”

Hector’s facial expressions are so good, you guys.

Actually, I want to talk more about this. Not just him, but all the physical comedy with the skeletons. Like, they way they detach their limbs or heads, it’s so animated and weird. Reminds me of old cartoons.

If someone told me they watched this movie for Hector, I’d support them.

“Those aren’t the words!” “There are children present.”

I don’t care if all the acts were meant to be bad on purpose, I thought they were cute.

“Bring back the singing dogs!”

Seriously, the body language is incredible. Gael must have been having the time of his life recording this.

“HAVE YOU MET MY GRANDSON?”

“I hope you die very soon!”

Ernesto’s twist villainy is better than Big Hero Six and Frozen combined, fight me.

In fact, it’s the only way the villainy would have worked. Dammit, Disney! You made it look lazy!

Holy fuck, he just fell over. That’s… jarring.

Art theft is bad, you guys.

*sobbing*

*LOUDER SOBBING*

Awww! She’s dead! Wait, that sounds bad.

CONS

You scrolled down here for the negativity, didn’t you?

Book of Life: This movie gets shorter every time I watch it. Not kidding. Maybe it’s because I’m used to all the plot beats and twists. But… why is it soooo short?! Even like, two more scenes could have helped it along. I NEED MORE.

Coco: The inclusion of Frida Kahlo. This one kinda doesn’t count, but it does annoy me that she was used as just a quirky side-character, which is a huge slap in the face for all that she’d done as an artist and an activist. The gag at the beginning with Hector wasn’t that bad, but if I could’ve changed it, I’d put the guy who invented Alebrijes in her place, Pedro Linares. You’d only have to do a little bit of tweaking, the Rivera family would dress as a giant Alebrije puppet to get backstage instead, Hector could disguise himself as one to sneak past Ernesto’s guards, and we could have this scene.

Ernesto: Ah, excuse me, sir! The stage is that way.

Hector: *takes off mask*

Ernesto: Hector. You’ve gotten back into performing, I see.

And now, for some rapid-fire nitpicks if that wasn’t enough negativity for you.

Why does the museum have a trick wall? Is it always there, or just there when La Muerte needs it? Is this their day job, or did they shapeshift into actual museum workers? Where’s Joaquin’s Mom? If she’s alive, why is she neglecting a child to live out in the streets? If she’s dead, who the hell raised him before Maria’s dad? Where’s Maria’s mom? Is nobody going to point out that Manolo is the only living member of his family left?!

Why didn’t Imelda just ban people seeking out musical careers and not all music? Are they not allowed to go to church? What do they do for parties? Quincenaras? Did nobody that Hector knew talk about the movie where his own death was ripped off? Did he never even overhear it? If you do something evil, do you only go to the Land of the Remembered if you never get caught? What if you’re a serial killer who never got caught? Does that mean there’s a hell? DID CHICH GO TO HELL BECAUSE HE WAS FORGOTTEN? WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP GHOST CAPITALISM DOES THE PIXAR-VERSE AFTERLIFE RUN ON

#review #reviews #reelfx #disney #pixar

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paperficwriter · 7 years

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I Will Cover You

My first Dream Daddy fic. I am officially in Smallmarch (Robert Small/Damien Bloodmarch) hell. No regrets. And of course my first foray is angst and fluff. A killer combination. Robert tries his best to take care of Damien after surgery.

Cut for length, not for content, though do be aware that this fic depicts post-top surgery.

---

“Oh. It’s you.”

“If I had a dollar for everytime someone answered a door and said that to my face...anyway, yes. It’s me. Where’s your dad?”

Robert wished for a second that his hands weren’t full, a loaded grocery bag in one and an unopened bottle in the other. Otherwise, he could have just pushed past Lucien and gotten into the house. Instead, he had to play this whole game of Purposeful Small Talk. Which he hated almost as much as Pointless Small Talk.

“Isn’t it Goth Night at Jim and Kim’s? Maybe you should try there.”

“The closest thing Jim and Kim’s has to ‘Goth Night’ is ‘Dark Sullen Drunk Night,’ and since I’m not there, that’s not happening. Move it.”

Lucien didn’t budge, instead raising a perfectly lined brow at the whiskey in Robert’s hand. “You do actually know that he can’t drink right now, right?”

He didn’t. “So? This is for me.”

“...”

“Look, Lucy. This can go one of two ways. You can move out of my way, or I can come back armed with a fully-loaded Betsy. Your call.”

“Did you just threaten my life so you can hang out with my dad?”

“Maybe.” Really, it was more a threat on his allergies, but...whatever it took.

Lucien smiled, and moved aside with a dramatic flourish of his hand. “Impressive. You may enter.”

Robert made a beeline straight for the master bedroom, ignoring the library and all the sitting rooms or parlors or whatever-the-hell-they-were. It was the one spot that Damien always skipped on the grand tours of the Bloodmarch Estate, but he knew that tonight that’s where he would find him. It was the one room that stood out from the Victorian macabre noir aesthetic of the rest of the house, bearing a resemblance more similar to the fake bedrooms at Ikea than anything from hundreds of years ago. When he shoved the door open, announcing, “Knock, knock,” Robert found Damien propped up on about five pillows, wearing a flannel robe, his long black hair a mess on top of his head. No makeup, no nail polish, nothing but normal. Robert couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen him like that.

“Robert?” Damien’s puffy, tired eyes widened, and he pulled the comforter up closer to his chin. “What are you doing here?”

“Giving the cryptids a night off from my regular slaughter schedule,” he said, sitting on the edge of the white down bedspread and dropping the bag and bottle. “I brought you some stuff.”

“You didn’t have to.” Even as he said it, Damien straightened a bit, glancing into the brown paper grocery bag.

“What kind of dick would I be if I didn’t? Your boyfriend gets surgery. You bring him shit to make him feel better. Isn’t that how it goes in all those movies you like so damn much?”

Damien chuckled and shook his head, reaching a pale hand out to squeeze Robert’s. He really did seem a bit out of it still, and Robert wondered why he hadn’t asked him to do the driving instead of Lucien. “I am eternally grateful.”

“You should be. No way would I watch that crap on my own.” He started unpacking with his free hand. “Let’s see...my favorite knife, a hot water bottle, basically the entire first aid section of the drug store...just in case those quacks didn’t give you enough stuff when you went home. Doctors just want to bleed you dry by making you come back for more. Don’t trust them.”

“They were very kind, Robert.”

He gestured ominously with the aforementioned blade. “They better have been. Or I’m going to be making a few more trips tonight before I go home.” Putting it on the nightstand to avoid any embarrassing holes in the sheets (again), he continued unloading. “Some of those Oreos you like…” Three packages, in fact. “Ought to keep you set at least through tomorrow.”

When he removed the next item, Damien let out what he would normally consider a “most undignified” squeak.

“Since I couldn’t bring her over, I figured I’d do the best I could with a surrogate Betsy.” He handed over the stuffed Boston terrier, and Damien pressed his face into it to hide the ridiculous red of his cheeks. “She sends lots of well-wishes though. Can’t wait for you to come over again.”

“Thank you, my darling,” Damien sniffed. “I shall treasure it always.”

“You better. I had to take out three toddlers just to get it. It was a bloodbath.”

“My hero.”

“And last thing...I figured I’d try to strike a compromise with a movie we could both enjoy. Pride and Prejudice --”

“Oh, Robert!” Damien’s smile was so radiant that it was even more amusing watching it fall when the DVD was handed over to him.

“-- And Zombies.”

“Oh.”

“Give it a chance! It’s a fun one. I promise. And I’ll keep the lights on. Fair?”

“Very. My deepest gratitude.”

Once Robert had loaded the movie onto the flatscreen mounted to the wall, he kicked his shoes off and laid back beside him, one arm around his shoulders. Damien carefully rested his head on his chest, holding the edge of his jacket while Robert smoothed down some of the loose strands of hair around the bun. “Is this okay?” he asked. “Does it hurt a lot?”

Damien shook his head, then nodded, reassuringly. “It’s fine. A bit sore. Another blessing of not living in the Victorian era is that there are much safer, not to mention effective, pain killers.” He sighed. “I must look a positive fright compared to how you normally see me.”

Robert shrugged. “I don’t care. I’m good. You’re not showing me up for once.”

He laughed at that.

“I wish you had told me when it was all going down, Dames. I would have been here sooner.”

Damien didn’t reply, instead holding his robe a bit tighter. “There was no need, Robert, dear. Lucien was more than happy to take the day away from school, and I didn’t even have to stay at the hospital or anything, so...I am only grateful you’re here now.”

Something in his voice didn’t make it seem like he was entirely grateful. Sure, happy enough, but…Robert let the topic drop.

After about a half hour, Damien stirred under his arm. Those pain killers must have really been something, because even with all the zombie-killing he had somehow managed to doze off. He pulled away carefully, standing up shakily to head toward the bathroom door only two feet away. When Robert jumped up, he waved him off. “I’m fine. I just...need to take some medicine and get the bandages changed.”

“Do you want some help?”

“No, thank you. I’ll only be a few moments.”

Robert didn’t sit back down. He found himself leaning against the wall next to the closed door, fists shoved into his pockets. His keen ears picked up every noise from inside: something wet being poured down the sink, the crinkle of the trash can, the tear of cardboard wrapping. Then, nothing.

“Damien? You okay in there?” he called after about thirty seconds, twenty-five seconds longer than he would have preferred.

No answer.

“Dames?”

A sniff, a slightly cracked, “I’m fine.”

“I’m coming in.”

“Don’t. Really. Just...give me a minute.” Now, it was a full, obvious sob that followed, and Robert cringed.

“Listen. I may not have my boots on, but I'll...I would tear this door down with my bare hands for you. Let me in.”

“...You shouldn't have to see this.”

“Dames.” Robert tried to keep his voice from taking that jagged, unpleasant edge to it that seemed to cut through whenever he was frustrated. “Mary asked me to be in the delivery room when Crish was born. There is absolutely nothing that could be worse than that.”

He wasn’t sure why that seemed to be the deciding factor, but the knob turned, and Robert stepped inside carefully, trying not to stare. Damien sat on top of the closed toilet seat, tears pouring down his face, clean bandages balled up in his hand. The open flannel barely hid the thick, black stitches, angry red skin and bruising across his chest. “Come on, baby,” Robert said quietly, holding his hand out. “Let me help you with that.”

Damien didn’t move. “It’s awful. It’s...I’m…” Another broken noise cracked into the air between them, and Damien covered his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry...”

“What? Damien, don’t say that.”

“Is it ever going to heal?” he asked, a hard desperation in his voice, and Robert knelt in front of him, taking the bandages. Sure, it wasn’t exactly a great look, the T-shaped cuts scarring as they healed, but they weren’t infected. The doctors really had done a great job, as loathe as Robert was to admit it to himself.

“Of course it will. You just need some time. Give yourself a break. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Here, hold this.” Robert pressed one end of the roll at the center of Damien’s stomach and started wrapping, pausing occasionally to check to make sure they weren’t too tight. He winced when he jostled one of the drains that hung at Damien’s side. “Sorry. We’ll get you some more pills in a second, okay?”

“It looks so much worse than I thought it would…”

“It won’t stay like this.” Robert used his free hand to wipe Damien’s face with his knuckles. “Don’t cry. It’s fine. Really.”

“I just didn’t want you to see me this way.” Fresh tears dripped down, soaking the cuff of his sleeve.

“I don’t care how bad it is, Damien. Just let me help you. I don’t...God, you’ve seen me far and beyond my worst. This is nothing that won’t mend.” He finished wrapping the bandage and closed the flannel over it, finally raising his hands to touch his boyfriend’s face. “I don’t care if you wear capes or cloaks or fuckin’ jeans and a shirt, and I definitely don’t care what’s under it all. You could dress as one of those anime characters again, and I wouldn’t give a shit.”

Damien snorted, leaning forward to rest his face on Robert’s jacket.

“Just don’t leave me out of it. I’m not...great at this, but...I don’t want you alone. I got you, alright?”

He pressed his lips to both of his cheeks before kissing him softly, the wet on his face clinging to his stubble. When he pulled back, Damien smiled tiredly. “Thank you, love.”

Robert helped him to standing, guiding him back to the bed. “I think this calls for Oreos, whatever fancy drugs they gave you, and a drink.”

“I can’t drink right now, Robert,” Damien chided, holding his hand as he slipped back under the covers.

“Don’t worry. I can do plenty of drinking for both of us.” He raised the bottle and clinked it against Damien’s water glass. “To your speedy recovery, good sir.”

Damien only smirked at his theatric bravado. “Cheers.”

#my paperfics #dream daddy #smallmarch #robert small #damien bloodmarch #phew this fic was literally in my brain for the past week #glad i could finally write it and share

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celestialarcadia · 4 years

Text

Dear Chocolatier

This ended up kind of long. I really hope this doesn’t come across as too picky! While I’ve included prompts and general rambling, I can’t predict everything that I’d be interested in--so as long as your idea doesn’t fall under my DNWs, I’ll be happy to read whatever you come up with! This is mostly geared towards fic, since I’m not very good at talking about art, but I’d also be ecstatic about art fills. Full letter under the cut. (Note that I missed nominations, so I was limited to whatever was in the tagset; not all of my favorite relationships in these works are represented.)

What you need to know about me is that most, if not all, of my favorite pairings include some element of opposites attract. I’m not sure that’s the right phrase to use, since it’s often not literal opposites that attract me to a pairing. What I love is when characters have some sort of large difference(s) between them that is impossible to ignore, requires there to be communication between the members of the pairing, and (this is the big one!!) all the members of the relationship love each other in part because of the differences between them as well as recognizing the similarities they have. It’s a bit hard to explain in words, but I hope that helps. To use examples from the pairings I’ve requested: human/elf, human/alien, alien/different alien, human/robot AI, mage/warrior, warrior/diplomat, witch/fairy, angel/demon...I let out a dreamy sigh just typing those out, which should explain how much I love this trope lmao.

I want happy endings. There’s a place for tragedies, but I need to be in a very specific mood to gain satisfaction from them, and right now in my life I can’t really appreciate them much. I generally prefer a “happily ever after”, but “happy for now” is also acceptable (and is more appropriate for several of the pairings on this list). While I enjoy fluff, I’d also be happy with something more dramatic as long as it ultimately has a HEA/HFN. I’ve enjoyed hurt/comfort, but I usually prefer them to be heavy on the comfort.

Regarding smut: I’m fine with or without it. I’m asexual and porn does nothing for me sexually, but I can enjoy erotica, even PWPs, as an exploration of intimacy between characters. (Not necessarily even romantic intimacy--I’ve enjoyed smut about friends with benefits.) Stuff I enjoy in smut: blindfolds; body worship; bondage; cunnilingus; edging; facesitting; femdom/malesub; gentle domination; intercrural; mirror sex; multiple orgasms; mutual masturbation; pegging; praise kink; service topping; vibrators; wax play. And if the scene goes into BDSM territory, aftercare!

However! I am also a very, very big fan of non-sexual intimacy. Kissing, hugging, cuddling, spooning, literal sleeping together, massages, holding hands, words of affirmation...I could go on and on. Love it all. If you headcanon a character in a requested pairing as asexual, go for it!

Special shoutout to characters bathing together (preferably in a very large bathtub or similar body of water). It can easily lead to sex, and I don’t mind if it does, but I almost prefer if it doesn’t cross that line.

General DNW: 24/7 D/s, A/B/O, abuse between characters in requested pairings, ageplay, amnesia, ass to mouth, BDSM society AU, bestiality, bloodplay in settings without magical healing, breathplay, cancer, canon bi character portrayed as straight or gay, canon gay character portrayed as straight or bi, cheating/infidelity by character in a requested pairing, crossovers, daddy/mommy kink, death of a character's parent(s) as a major plot element (references to canon parent death OK but try not to linger too long on it), describing genitals of any kind as "weeping", dub-con, eating disorders, enemas, explicit underage, fake relationship, feederism, fisting, guro, hatesex, humiliation kink, incest, inflation, kidfic (canon kids OK but I'd rather not have a fic centering around them), lactation kink, love triangles, maledom/femsub, necrophilia, nipple clamps, permanent death of a character in a requested pairing, petplay, plots centered around prejudice or -isms, pregnancy, rape/non-con, rape roleplay/consensual non-consent, reader insert, rimming, scat, school-related AU, self-harm, sex in public places, soulmates AU, sounding, spanking, vore, watersports/omorashi, zombies

Some of these fandoms/pairings have more written about them than others. Please don’t take that as an indication that I’ll be disappointed if you pick a pairing or fandom I’ve written less about here--I really will be happy with any of these pairings!

Cinderella Phenomenon

(Psst...this is a free game...consider playing it?)

Delora/Parfait: I didn’t consider this pairing until I saw it in the tagset and now I 100% ship it. Love me a goth witch and pastel fairy couple. I’d like to see them negotiating around the drastically different perceptions of witches and fairies in Angielle. Or maybe something a bit fluffy, like sharing a stolen moment away from the Marchen, or just taking a break from the trials of everyday life.

Pairing-specific DNW: Work set during/after Rumpel’s, Waltz’s, or Fritz’s routes

Lucette Riella Britton/Karma: While I enjoyed the game as a whole, I think Karma’s route was my favorite. For all his eccentricities, Karma recognizes Lucette’s terrible upbringing and how it affected her before the other characters do, and the fact that he’s a prince means that you can get up to some really nice royal intrigue and politics with this pairing. (Also, I wonder--does Karma continue to wear dresses after his curse is broken, just for the fun of it?)

Pairing-specific DNW: Explicit smut (fade-to-black is fine)

Dragon Age

Fandom-specific DNW: Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor sides with templars, rivalmances for DA2 LIs, Cullen as major character

Alistair/Male Surana: Oh, Alistair, my first DA love. Even though he never actually became a templar, he was still trained as one, and I think that could cause some issues in a relationship with a mage. And being an elf mage? Whew. Even though I don’t want something where Alistair becomes king, I’m fine with something where they discuss the possibility of Alistair becoming king, as long as they ultimately decide not to put him on the throne. You could also do something set after DAO/Awakening, where both are active Wardens--maybe they’ve been separated for a few months for Warden-y reasons and they’ve just reunited?

Pairing-specific DNW: Alistair as king, Loghain recruited into Wardens

Fenris/Hawke: Any gender Hawke is fine (I just have m!Fenhawke tagged because it was in the tagset). My Hawke is female, but feel free to write male or nb Hawke; my Hawke is also a mage, because I like the idea of them falling in love despite the tension that causes between them--but if you’d rather write a warrior/rogue Hawke, that’s also good. (If you want to include specific details about my Hawke: she’s named Samantha, specializes in healing, and is mostly purple/joking with a blue/diplomatic streak. I headcanon her as asexual even if it can’t really be replicated in the game. But I’ll be fine with whatever Hawke you choose to write.)

Zevran Arainai/Warden: Like with Fenris, I’m not picky about which genre or origin you pick and only put in the tags in the set for matching purposes. My Zev-romancing Warden is a f!Brosca, but if you prefer another gender/origin, do whatever you want. These two are my favorite enemies-to-lovers pairing, in part because Zevran never had any hard feelings for the Warden in the first place. (And the Warden telling Nathaniel “Some of my best friends have attempted to kill me” during Awakening gains a whole new level of hilarity with romanced Zev.) Zev comes across as a devil-may-care flirt, but he turns out to be a respectful lover if you actually put the effort to get to know him beyond surface level. (Also, that cool-ass Crow armor from the World of Thedas artbook. A+)

Female Lavellan/Josephine Montilyet: Josie! (｡♥‿♥｡) And I romance her with a f!Lavellan, so it’s a nice coincidence that this was in the tagset lol. I’ll be good with just about anything you come up with for this pairing. Josephine is one of the few non-Dalish characters who at least tries to be respectful of Lavellan’s Dalish heritage, even if she is a bit clumsy about it sometimes. My Lavellan is a lesbian mage named Ilena if you’re interested in including those details, but I’ll be happy with any f!Lavellan.

Josephine Montilyet/Cassandra Pentaghast: Fun fact--I ship this because of a bondage fic I read lmao. They have a very interesting dynamic--a warrior who kills on a regular basis (even if for a good cause); a diplomat who has renounced violence. I won’t be picky about anything for this pairing, either.

Good Omens

Fandom-specific DNW: Reverse AU (I don’t mind these but I’m not interested in receiving one), Aziraphale falling, smut involving Crowley’s snake form, work set before Crowley’s fall, strict top/bottom dynamics

Note: I’ve read the book and watched the series. I’m fine with stuff set in either canon (hence why I requested both). If you want to combine elements from both, that’s cool too.

Aziraphale/Crowley: My most recent love. I have lots and lots of feelings (at least a billion) about these two. Enough that I have a goddamn LIST.

I’m fine with any combination of genders/presentations/efforts/pronouns for these two. I headcanon Aziraphale as being agender with he/him pronouns and Crowley as genderfluid, but again, anything works. Lately I’ve adored fics and art of butch female-presenting Aziraphale, too.

Chubby Aziraphale!! I love!! So much!! Dovetails very well with my interest in body worship (sexual or otherwise). Crowley loves his soft angel!! So much!! And! So much cuddling potential!! (More serious note: I’m not a huge fan of stuff where Aziraphale is extremely self-conscious about his body. Surely he’d miracle himself a different shape if he hated it so much? And he’s been around for millennia, so he’s witnessed beauty standards change drastically over time. It makes more sense in human AUs, but it’s still something I tolerate more than enjoy.)

I’m a big fan of “Aziraphale and Crowley through history” stuff. Pick a time period you like and go wild. Personally, I have a huge soft spot for the 1920s--Crowley would look amazing in a flapper dress. (Realistic or Hollywood-style, take your pick.) (I know that according to the TV script they didn’t see each other between the fight at St James and the church scene, but...bah. Flapper Crowley!!) Some great opportunities for mutual pining, or if you want to write an AU where they got together before the Notpocalypse, go for it.

I have a big soft spot for stuff where Crowley is in his snake form (no smut, please--if the story turns that way I want him in his human form for sex)

I will never ever get tired of “first love confession” or “first kiss” stories for these two because I am a romantic sap who just wants them to be happy (they’ve spent so long not being able to be close to each other! they deserve it!!)

Outsider POVs: “random normal person weirded out by bizarre relationship between fussy bookseller and his goth husband” is one of my favorite fandom tropes

Praise kink! I mentioned this in my general smut likes but it bears repeating here. The major fanon is Crowley having a praise kink, which is wonderful and valid (tfw your crush calls you nice and it turns you on so much you try to play it cool by shoving him against a wall). I’ve seen some stuff recently with Aziraphale having a praise kink and now that’s an idea. (He’s spent so long just wanting to be good for Heaven! Even though Heaven’s standard for what’s good is kind of terrible and they hate him anyway so he’d never be good enough for them! But Crowley knows that Aziraphale is good and he’s more than willing to tell him every little thing he loves about him! aaaaaaaa) Regardless of who has the kink, I think they’d be a bit embarrassed at first at having it found out (Crowley: “Being turned on by compliments? C’mon, that’s not me” [it’s totally him]/Aziraphale: “It’s...a bit selfish, isn’t it?” [but since when has that stopped him]), but the other would be more than willing to indulge. (And while Aziraphale is naturally suited to provide praise, given how good he is with words, I think Crowley could grow into the role too, in his own way.)

Heart of the Woods

Tara Bryck/Morgan Fischer, Abigail Dalsing/Madison Raines: I put these two together because they’re so intertwined in the original game, but if you want to focus on one pairing over the other, that’s great! Something that really interests me would be seeing how Morgan and especially Abby would react to the...idiosyncrasies of modern-day America. Also, Abby being introduced to the internet could be hilarious. (Also also, Morgan getting to live her best butch life, and Tara being her slightly overly enthusiastic cheerleader.) On a more serious note, how does Maddie move on after leaving Taranormal?

Lake of Voices

(Psst...this is also a free game...consider playing it too?)

Kikka/Margret: I’m less interested in fluff for this pairing thanks to how dark the original material is, but I’d still rather not have something totally grim. Margret’s route isn’t truly romantic, not really, but considering the short period of time the game takes place during, that’s not surprising--so I’d like to see how their relationship progresses after the events of the game.

Mass Effect Trilogy

Fandom-specific DNW: Sabotaging the genophage cure; Control/Synthesis/Refusal endings; synthetics dying in Destroy ending (yes I know this is canon, no I don’t care; please don’t do post-ME3 if you aren’t willing to work around this); dead Wrex; no peace between geth and quarians (for ME3)

Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian: While Shakarian isn’t my favorite ME pairing, I do still love it. No Shepard without Vakarian, after all. They work so well as a battle couple and have such great chemistry. My Garrus-romancing Shepard is a Paragade Vanguard named Elliott, Earthborn/War Hero if you want those details.

Female Shepard & Mordin Solus: Death DNW doesn’t apply to this one; hit me with all the feels over Mordin’s death (I don’t like what you have to do for him to survive). Or avoid the issue by doing something set during ME2. Alien Sex Ed is always a classic trope, or something more serious regarding Mordin’s past as an STG operative or his work with the genophage.

Grunt & Female Shepard: Shepard is very proud of her strong krogan vat bby.

Kolyat Krios & Female Shepard: With or without Shep/Thane (”YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”), either works. If there’s romance, how does Kolyat react to his missing dad showing up with a human girlfriend? Does Shepard try to become a part of Kolyat’s life or does she try to stay out of it? There’s less reason for Shepard to get involved if there’s no Thanemance, but I think there’s still opportunity there, since Kolyat and Thane keep in contact after the loyalty mission is completed.

Pairing-specific DNW: Thane dying

Thane Krios/Female Shepard: My favorite ME pairing! At least until BW fucked it up in ME3. (I still kind of haven’t forgiven them.) They have a very mature relationship, I think--both of them a bit weary--and they find solace in each other, at least until the inevitable. I would prefer a fic set during ME2, or in the time period between the end of ME2 and Shepard being detained before ME3. If you want to make something set during ME3, I’d like to see him receive treatment (not necessarily a cure, though I won’t complain if you go that route, but preferably something more realistic than “oh I took a pill and now I’m all better!” or similar) for Kepral’s. I also don’t like the defeatist “well, I guess I’m just gonna lay down and die now” attitude he has when you meet him at Huerta in ME3; it clashes so much with his entire ME2 arc, which has him realize that he does still have things to live for (his son, for one, and Shepard if you romance him). If you’re interested in details about my Shepard: her name is Diana; she’s a Paragon Infiltrator, Colonist/War Hero.

Pairing-specific DNW: Excessive focus on his illness (I know it’s a big part of his character, and I don’t expect people to avoid it entirely, but I don’t enjoy stuff that’s centered totally around it); Irikah bashing or trying to portray her as unimportant

Nyreen Kandros/Aria T’Loak: (STILL SCREAMING ABOUT BADASS TURIAN LADY) I want to see something from when these two were still together, or a fix-it where Nyreen doesn’t die and she and Aria enter a (possibly uneasy) truce. Less concerned about happiness for this one as long as neither of them dies; I’m fine if it ends up that their relationship just doesn’t work out.

EDI/Samantha Traynor: Geeky lesbian with a robot kink + sexy fembot = ooh la la. On a serious note, how would a human/AI relationship work? There’s a lot of possibilities here.

Stardew Valley

Fandom-specific DNW: Player siding with Joja-Mart

Abigail/Female Player, Elliott/Player, Leah/Female Player, Maru/Female Player: I’m putting these together not because I think they’re interchangeable (they’re not), but because what I want is basically the same for each of them--slice-of-life about the farmer and their partner (either dating or married...or dating then married; no kids please), with emphasis on how the partner’s personality and lifestyle meshes, or doesn’t mesh, with the player’s farm life. Maybe there’s conflicts that have to be resolved, compromises that have to be made. (But I do want them to eventually work it out and be happy together.) If you pick Elliott/Player, I’m fine with whatever gender farmer you want.

Sweet Fuse: At Your Side

Inafune Saki/Meoshi Kouta: One thing I enjoyed about Meoshi’s route is how he doesn’t have to give up games entirely in order to deserve love and improve as a person, he just develops a healthier relationship with gaming. I like the idea of Kouta participating in a fighting game tournament with Saki cheering him on...or maybe he taught her how to play and she’s a competitor too now? DUN DUN DUN. (but it’s all in good fun)

Pairing-specific DNW: Explicit smut (fade-to-black is fine)

Original Work

Dethroned and Dishonored Queen/Lone Loyal Female Knight

Lady Locked in a Tower/Lady Who Turns Into a Hawk

Female Werewolf Hunter/Her Boyfriend Who Gets Turned Into a Werewolf

Female Tall Muscular Badass/Female Short Chubby Nerd

Hiker/Sporty Girl Who Sprained Her Ankle Miles from Nowhere

Grumpy Lonely Sorceress/Female Courtesan She Hires for a Ritual

Female Witch/Female Werewolf

Female Witch/Female Demon She Accidentally Summons

Female Knight/Female Bath Attendant with a Crush

Female Gamer/Female Bookworm

Female Court Painter/Impatient Princess Sitting for a Painting

Female Armorsmith/Female Warrior Who Needs Frequent Repairs

Female Adventurer Lost in the Snow/Female Fire Spirit

Male Speakeasy Bartender/Male Speakeasy Piano Player

Librarian/Her Monster-Hunting Wife Who Keeps Dragging Her Into Wacky Supernatural Adventures

Sensible Royal Guardswoman/Arrogant but Skilled Court Sorceress

Dark Mage/Light Mage

Beleaguered Playwright/Actress Cursed to Ruin Any Show She’s In

Female Vampire/Female Vampire Hunter

Victorian Lady/Victorian Lady

GO WILD. Just don’t hit my DNWs. For the pairings that don’t specify the genders of both members, I’d prefer f/f works.

#chocolate box #exchange letter

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