#but one specific issue brought up from a part of the fandom

[cy-cyborg]

We have communities - Writing disability quick tips

So often, stories centred on disabled characters, especially in modern settings, emphasise how lonely or isolated the character is because of their disability, especially if it’s a newly acquired disability or one that non-disabled people assume would have a big impact on our ability to do “fun stuff”. This will often be accompanied by statements of “no-one understands what living with [insert disability here]” is like!

And while isolation and loneliness are things a lot of disabled people deal with, a lot of us are not completely alone either, especially in the modern day.

Just like any group of people with shared experiences, we find one another. Sometimes this is through formal systems; some spinal rehabilitation centres for example, will pair newly paralysed people up with a mentor who’s had a similar form of paralysis for much longer to help guide the person while the adjust to their new disability. Other more formal systems can look like disability sporting organisations - the one I used to work for used to specifically encourage very newly disabled people to join so they didn’t feel like the had to learn everything about their disability alone, or support groups.

Other times though, these communities are much less formal. They may look like online forums, such as the ones on Reddit, built by and for disabled people to talk about their experiences and seek recommendations from others in the same boat, or parts of larger social media sites. For example, on Tumblr, there aren’t really any formal groups, but thanks to the hashtags we use in our posts, we often find one another fairly quickly there. We sometimes also carve out our own little subsections of fandom or hobby spaces, brought together by the shared interest itself, how things like disability might impact the way you interpret or interact with it, and how we can modify it (in the case of hobbies) to make it work for us.

A lot of disability communities, formal or otherwise, also form out of necessity, such as advocacy groups run by and for disabled people, and those built around ensuring the rights of disabled people are protected.

Isolation and loneliness are problems within the disabled community that many of us deal with, but this tends to be more in the context of isolation from the wider public, exclusion from public spaces and events (despite there being laws that are supposed to stop this because they’re often not enforced), disconnect from non-disabled friends and family, etc, most of which are the result of systematic issues or the lack of understanding or care and support from non-disabled people in our lives. Not always, but often.

The communities made by and for disabled people though are often (at least in part) made to help make up for this, and they’re more common than you might think, you just have to know where to look. It would be nice to see more creators reflecting this in their work a bit more often, or at least acknowledging that they are there, even if your character chooses not to engage with them.

However, as a reminder to authors and creatives: These communities, especially the online ones, are for disabled people, they are not there for you to use as a reference as a creator. Some communities are ok with you being there to learn, so long as you listen and don’t try to speak over/bombard their members with questions. Others are not. The ones that are, typically will have something written somewhere if it’s online (e.g. subreddits that accept writers wanting to write disabled characters will often have it written in the “about” section or the rules). There are also dedicated groups and platforms for non-disabled people seeking to learn more about us and our communities, which can be excellent resources for creatives like writers. Just remember to be mindful of where you are and respectful of people’s spaces and boundaries when doing your research.

#Writing disability with Cy Cyborg #Quick tips #Disability #Disabled #Disability Representation #Writing Disability #Writing #Writeblr #Authors #Creators #Writing Advice #Disabled Characters #On Writing

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

The FE fandom is unfairly criticized for their treatment of main women leads because not enough people factor in how sexist the writing is. Edelgard would get less hate if she was held more accountable. Micaiah would get less hate if she didn't get written out of the final part and awful blood-pact device. Celica and Erika would get less hate if the writers didn't hand them the idiot ball. Female leads are often awful units compared to male counterparts. The male leads always upstage the female ones or are written overall better bc they were unconcerned with making them a sellable waifu. There's definitely sexist people in the fandom, and male characters everywhere get cut more slack, and I'm not denying an element of sexism in all of this, but holding the writers accountable something that needs to get brought up more.

.

Im gonna discuss my opinions on this take now.

Edelgard is held accountable and punished for her actions by literally dying in 3 out of the 4 routes. Like the Agarthans are not blamed for what Edelgard did. She takes complete responsibility and suffers the consequences for starting a war.

Erika giving the Sacred Stone to Formortis because she believes Lyon, an extremely skilled healer and magic user who has been studying the stones will get rid of him through using it is a smarter decision than Ephraim attempting to kill THE DEMON KING ALL BY HIMSELF. Like at least Erika's plan made sense and could have worked if Lyon was able to resist Formortis. People who call Erika stupid for her scene while not doing the same for Ephraim's are hypocritical in this regard.

While SOV is quite sexist in how so many of the women are damseled, Celica sacrificing herself for Mila makes complete sense and is not rooted in sexism because at that point in the game most people believe that they still need the gods to survive and a single human life is worth less than the life of a god. Celica trusted Jedah because to her that was her only choice. What is sexist is her having to be repeatedly saved by men while nothing similar happens to Alm.

I admit I'm being extremely nitpicky with this point, but Erika and Celica both act completely in character when they make their mistakes and therefore are not Idiot Balled. Idiot Balling is when a character acts uncharacteristically stupid and out of character to serve the plot.

Idk about the specifics with Micaiah in Radiant Dawn but yeah it sucks how Ike takes most of the spotlight from both her and Elincia :/

The only female lead that is a substantially worse unit than her male counterpart is Erika. She is an outlier that should not be counted. Celica, Micaiah and Elincia all have utility that Alm and Ike Lack while Edelgard is literally just as good of a frontliner as Dimitri. And Lyn is just as weak as Eliwood.

Character writing is subjective.

You are severely overestimating the importance of waifus and underestimating the importance of husbandos to the franchise. Straight and Bi women play Fire Emblem too.

Also characters who have depth tend to be more popular regardless of their gender. It is profitable to have waifus with layers.

I am not denying that sexism was and somewhat still is a thing in the writing and gameplay of this series; However, the fandom is just as guilty in how female characters are treated - perhaps more guilty in the newest two games where these issues rarely rear their ugly head in the story and the gameplay. The fandom should be held accountable too instead shifting most of the blame on the writers.

Anyway if you read all of this, have a heavenly creature i found recently <3

#petty playground squabbles #fire emblem #fe #fandom takes #gameplay takes #story takes #sexism mention

[freezingmcxn]

hello!! I’m an incredibly huge fan of your writing and I was wondering if you’d ever do an analysis of Tim from marble Hornets. I find the depiction of his character in the series incredibly interesting as well as the role he plays in the slender verse in general and wonder what you have to say about it??

TIM ANALYSIS (Marble Hornets)

Awh, you’re the sweetest ofc I can do a Tim analysis, this can become multiple parts like HABITs Analysis’, just let me know if you guys want that!

My main thing that i “have to say” about Tim is that there’s a very huge difference between how the fandom sees him and how he’s portrayed in Marble Hornets, Tim’s mental issues and childhood are either forgotten or not given enough light.

So today, I’m gonna talk about Entry #66, and look at his body language because I find it most interesting :)

Body language:

Tim is currently in “his room” of the facility, it holds his past memories, something that made him fearful as a child, by looking at his body language it’s almost like he’s being brought back to being a child, he acts like one and becomes increasingly more distressed and nervous.

Here you can see I’ve annotated some specific things about how Tim is presenting himself in this video, this means more than what he’s saying, what Tim is saying is physically affecting him.

His past is still taking affect on his body and it’s causing him to have a trauma response.

The trauma Tim is discussing clearly places tension on the inside,which is in turn shown outside, his whole body is tense and it’s causing him to slouch.

You can compare the feeling to carry a large, heavy back pack, think of the stress and weight on your shoulders.

I also said his shoulders are raised and also tense, raising his shoulders could mean two things, protection or anxiety/fear.

Lifting up the shoulders close to the face is usually a reaction a child would have to something overwhelming, loud or frightening. 

Here as Tim gets into the more intense side of things (getting locked in the room, dosage being raised etc) he folds his arms in a way to defend himself, even though nothing is happening, he remembers his fear, it’s a fight or flight reaction, when someone folds their arms in this context it’s the body’s way of “protecting” vital organs.

Trauma memories make a person sense their physical body and become aware of implicit physical actions they need to take to protect themselves.

He is also trembling, this could be a mix of frustration and anxiety about the situations he faced and the fact he is in the room he probably resents a great deal.

Tim’s eye contact dart’s between Jay, the floor and different parts of the room, as he looks at the different spots his body becomes more lose but not in a relaxed way, he’s becoming overwhelmed and wants a way out, so he starts pacing around.

As he’s looking around we can tell Tim is being reminded of what happened in the certain spots of the room.

He starts to rub his neck nervously and continues looking around, his speech becoming louder and faster.

He’s very on gaurd and ready to take action in order to defend himself, even though, like I’ve said, nothing will happen now as the place is run down, Tim still feels how his younger self felt, that is scary and very real, the memories coming back to him are very intense and it’s being reflected through his mannerisms.

Comparison of Tim’s normal body language and now:

#slenderverse #moon responds #slenderman #the operator #mh tim wright #mh tim #marble hornets #tim wright #tim wright marble hornets #tim sutton #character analysis #body language

[elioherondale]

Bette Kane: The original Batgirl and how her history never technically got retconned at all

So this is basically a repost from an old reblog I did but I doubt it's gonna get any traction so I've decided to post it here so more people can actually know about it. (I suggest actually reading what I wrote in the original thing cause there's some parts where I did at OP's comments and it'll look a bit weird here OOC)

let's actually talk about that "continuity dependence" So Bette is regarded by most of the fandom as having only been Batgirl only in Pre-Crisis (some people also think that she just never re-appeared after 1967 but that's not true since she appeared as a key character in the ending three-parter conclusion to the 70s Teen Titans run which set up Titans West). As in, Bette has only ever been Flamebird Post-Crisis and Hawkfire Post-Flashpoint.

Something to explain the whole thing about how Bette became Flamebird, Marv Wolfman decided that the Titans West three-parter was canon and this wrote about it in the Secret Origins 1989 Annual. Except Babs was the first person to become Batgirl Post-Crisis which meant it couldn't be Bette (for some reason), thus the story was rewritten so that instead of being Bat-Girl, a competitive tennis named player Bette Kane joined the Titans West under the mantle of Flamebird (where she got the name, we'll never know). So basically, Post-Crisis Bette was never Batgirl, right? At least, not until that very small duration of time when Morrison brought back Kathy Kane, right?

Below is the following panel from Young Justice Issue #21 where Bette herself confirms she has been Batgirl in the past. (after the New Titans Secret Origins issue tried to make it seem like she'd always been Flamebird the entire time). Take not that she says this whilst fighting alongside the latest Batgirl, Cass Cain

ok, so that only means the between 1985-2000, Bette was never Batgirl. Except that's not true. I especially know it's not true because of a key story that I think a lot of Batgirl stans are familiar with. Say hello to Page 10 of The Killing Joke. Also known as Bette Kane's first Post-Crisis first appearance.

Wait, wait, wait. What are you saying? Are you saying that Bette's history as Batgirl was never erased with Crisis? Are you saying that the argument that Babs, Steph and Cass stans that "oh, but she doesn't count/oh, but she was written out of continuity" isn't true? That's not possible. Oh, you toxic autumn child. It was always possible. It was merely that the spoutings of Babs stans who were angry that she wasn't the first Batgirl were taken as gospel /j (that or just how low her appearances have been throughout her creation)

Now, that just leaves us with one final era to go: Post-Flashpoint. Now unfortunately, I don't have anything from New 52 that implies she was Batgirl and I can't take the whole contracted timeline thing as concrete either so I'll just say this: Bette is in the same boat as Steph and Cass in terms of their backgrounds as Batgirl being erased in the New 52 before reclaiming their histories back.

Now I do have evidence of Bette being Batgirl Post-Flashpoint - Dark Nights Death Metal: The Last Stories Of The DC Multiverse. More specifically, the story "Together" where it shows nearly every single Titans and Teen Titans member (along with some Fearsome Five, Project Defiance and Young Justice and weirdly missing Team Titans). On the bottom left hand corner, you can see cast of the 70s Teen Titans run which includes Bette Kane as Batgirl.

And so there you go. Bette's history as Batgirl was never erased and is a legitimate member of the mantle as its originator.

If you sincerely think she doesn't count as Batgirl, I think you should go and take a deep look in the mirror and see for yourself what that speaks about you.

#Bette Kane #Batgirl #Bat-Girl #Flamebird #Barbara Gordon #babs gordon #Oracle #Stephanie Brown #Spoiler #Cassandra Cain #cass cain #Black Bat #Orphan #Teen Titans #Batfam #Titans West

[fallingdown98]

Shout out to Fantasy High Junior Year to get me to post original thoughts on here for the first time on years - Thought after Episode 15, The Last Stand, spoilers ahead

Based on what happened with Buddy, Brennan's callout of "what was loaded into that crossbow?", and Brennan saying in AP that killing Buddy was always on the table this is what I think Kipperlilly Clerickiller's plan was (Also ty Fandom I will be using this forever now)

1. Snuck in with Buddy when the Last Stand was being set up. (Saw some people questioning how she managed to get in, I truly think it's as simple as this)

2. Steal both Buddy and Kristen's diamonds to ensure no reviving can occur

3. I think the plan was to shoot the proctor with rage crystals, causing him to hulk out and depending on timing, no one to stop more monsters from arriving.

4. Based on where she was standing, I think the goal was to blame the crossbow bolt on Buddy and then leave still undetected with Oisin's prepped plane shift

4a. I still think Buddy dying was always part of the plan but I think the goal was to get the Bad Kids to have to ruin their own situation (Having to kill the hulked out proctor, seeing Buddy as an enemy and targeting him, being stuck because if Kristen had used her 7th level slot then they would at minimum be stuck for 8 hours assuming they all managed to survive if the monsters were still coming)

5. Theory here and we'll see if it proves correct but my immediate thought when Buddy died was that KLCK is planeshifting to the Celestial plane and hoping to use Buddy to sneak into Sol's office like when Aguefort snuck in through Kristin's backpack

6. Once in Sol's office, she would be where YES! Was originally created and the reason Bakur supposedly failed his ritual is that he needed to be in a place where a god had been created in order to rez a God.

7. Chaos ensues when corrupted Ankarna is brought back

8. Profit??? I guess??? Tbh the exact reasoning of the Ratgrinders is still the most elusive thing to me. I think my current most likely thought is that Jace is serving as manipulator and that KLCK is the most "lost in the sauce" as it were what with her pre-established anger issues.

Since we only saw a hand I'm reserving judgement on Oisin as he may have only been aware of his part of the plan and not the rest of what Miss ClericKiller has been up to. Not attached so I'm also down for him to be full evil but I'm just not sure yet.

Another thought I had is that the Ratgrinders may yet mirror the Bad Kids not just in class, but also in personal problems.

Ruben and Fig both having identity crises but Ruben has isolated himself so much he's turned to being a lackey

MaryAnn just doing what she's doing because she's good at it, not because it's something she's passionate about

If Oisin's dragon relative is evil and he's going along with the plot because of that, that would mirror Adaine breaking away from her own evil parents

Don't know enough about Ivy to have thoughts on her really, buddy and Lucy could probably be their own post tbh, and as I can't get a lock on Kipperlilly.

Jawbone seemed convinced she was just misunderstood and jawbone usually has a pretty good read on people. But then she's smiling while murdering Buddy and teleporting away. Why does she hate Riz specifically? Is it something he did or is it more generic jealousy (or a crush but I don't care for that theory personally and doesn't feel super supported currently)?

What's the deal with the rage soil and how did they place a rune of Ankarna's name on Yolanda/Lucy if it was unknown at that point?

Anyway, feel free to reblog or tag with thoughts, I'm so excited to unravel more of this mystery.

#fhyj #fhjy spoilers #rat grinders #bad kids #d20 #riz gukgak #kipperlilly copperkettle #oisin hakinvar #ruben hopclap #mary ann skuttle #buddy dawn #fhjy theory #adaine abernant #kristin applebees #Ankarna #the last stand

[shoukiko]

Hi, you can keep this unanswered and not post it, but I want to help you understand the thought behind some of the points in your criticism post. Before I start I want to apologise if I come off as blunt and rude, that's not my intention and I'll try my best to show my tone as unthreatening but I'm autistic and not a native English speaker, which complicates things lol

*general you used throughout the ask

First, I want to start with this: they all are part of the army. You don't need to dig much to see you'll rarely see a "morally upstanding" person in the army, be it because they're cheaters, abusers, compliant with all that or they're (insert -ist/-phobe category here). UK military spouses are 3 times more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV). I'm not saying the COD characters need to be written like that, but it wouldn't be "unrealistic" if we take real life statistics into account.

Second, and maybe the most important thing, everyone writes COD characters OOC. The majority of the active fandom on Tumblr and tiktok have seen gifs and 10min out of context clips from the game at best. It's to be expected to not frequently find something actually in character for a lot of the guys. Especially with characters that are just operators like König, Nikto and Krueger. In their case everything is and isn't OOC at the same time because we just... Don't know these characters. We lack characterisation past maybe 1-3 traits about them. I'd argue that's why the fandom liked König so much, other than being masked, he's the perfect paper doll! You can dress him up in whatever characterisation you want and it probably won't contradict his canon (because he barely has one and what he has is quickly misinterpreted (anxiety disorder turning into shyness for example)).

Now specifically on your "How are you going to hc a victim as the abuser?" - simple, whether you like to accept it or not is up to you, but it's not far fetched for victims to become abusers later in life. Just look at serial killers statistics - 74% of US serial killers were psychologically abused and 42% were physically abused as children and later in life followed a similar pattern brought to an extreme. Or on the other hand, a tamer example would be generational trauma because that's how we get that (grandparent was abused and because that's all they know, they implement it in bringing up their child who, for the same reason, implements it in bringing up the grandchild and so on).

The final thing I want to say is, it's good to block people who you don't vibe with. Doesn't matter if it's because they wrote something that personally disturbed you or you simply don't like their blog theme or you see them too often in the tag. Personally curating your experience is key in fandom, utilise the tools Tumblr has given us. Of course as you and others have mentioned that's impossible without some assistance from the other side. Tagging is extremely important (tagging with the correct words without censoring!!! Or the filter won't catch! Rape, noncon, incest ✅; r@pe, n*nc*n, 1nc*st ✖️✖️).

I hope this isn't too messy or long aaaa

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this up and actually speak to me about this, your input is very appreciated. /gen

I do think I could've done better on that post since I wrote it in the heat of the moment, all characters are written OOC and it was ignorant of me to say

"Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC."

I hope ya'll can really take the time to see my POV, I did not mean. any harm, I've come across some gross things, but blocking and filtering tags so much as begun to be tiring.

My main issue is tagging, without tagging I am left with getting triggered by random posts because the first few sentences may include something on my trigger list.

That's all I want and also what a lot of other people want.

Writing is meant for anyone and everyone, a form of art and perhaps a for of therapy.

Please tag your work, you are not the only person on the internet.

Thank you for reading!

#call of duty #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod #simon ghost riley #cod mwiii #konig #kiko asks #shoukiko

[coraniaid]

The other thing Gingerbread and Helpless have in common, of course, is that they're both about Buffy's parental figures: her mother Joyce and her sort-of father figure Giles. More specifically, they're about her lingering insecurities regarding these parental figures: the fear that Joyce will violently reject her having found out that she's the Slayer, the idea that Giles only cares about to the extent that she is the Slayer and isn't interested in her as a person at all.

I've complained before about how differently the fandom treats these two characters, so I won't repeat that argument here, but I think it's fair to say that I don't think either Joyce or Giles are acting particularly in character in their respective episodes (Joyce is explicitly being influenced by a demon for at least part of her episode, and while the show doesn't give Giles the same excuse it kind of stretches belief to imagine that the Watcher of Prophecy Girl or Innocence or Lie To Me or Dead Man's Party knew about the upcoming Cruciamentum or would go along with Travers' plans for as long as he does).

There is also essentially no follow-up on what either Joyce or Giles does. While both episodes do have long-term ramifications (Amy's transformation into a rat will be a recurring subplot for years, as will the much more hostile relationship Buffy has with the Watcher's Council after Helpless), they do not meaningful change how Buffy relates to either her mother or her (now technically ex-)Watcher. Gingerbread doesn't even bother to address the issue of whether Joyce remembers trying to kill her daughter (although it at least hints that she doesn't, by telling us that Willow's mother has forgotten). And the one time the Cruciamentum is brought up again (in Season 5's Checkpoint), Buffy will act as if it was something that Watchers others than Giles did to her. This is because (at the risk of stating the obvious), Buffy the show is not really about Buffy's mother or her Watcher except insofar as they relate to Buffy herself.

That's why I think it's more interesting to think about these episodes as not telling us new things about Joyce or Giles (and things which, if we took literally, would largely suggest Buffy is better off without either one of them) but as telling as things about Buffy herself. Not necessarily new things, of course. Buffy was afraid of her mom finding out she was a Slayer for two seasons, and it's safe to say that Joyce hasn't really done a great job of dealing with it to date (her talk of "marching in the Slayer Pride parade" notwithstanding). Meanwhile Giles spent most of the first season not just ignoring Buffy's personal life but -- between his reaction to her trying out for the cheerleading squad in Witch and her attempts to go on a date with Owen Thurman in Never Kill A Boy On The First Date -- actively telling he she couldn't have one. But in these episodes the fears become a bit more literal.

I think we actually get a much more representative idea of what Joyce as Giles are `really' like (to the extent that means anything, of course) by considering them in each other's episode: looking at Giles in Gingerbread and Joyce in Helpless. The Giles of Gingerbread is hardly indifferent to Buffy's wellbeing or uninvolved with her personal life (witness his post-Band Candy awkwardness around Joyce, for example). Similarly the Joyce of Helpless seems quite proud of Buffy's slaying ("oh, she was very clever") and, far from trying to hurt her, is abducted by Kralik exactly because her first instinct on seeing somebody she thinks is Buffy lying injured outside is to run out to help her.

So, to me, the point of these two episodes is less that Joyce is a bad mother or that Giles is an inadequate father figure, but more that Buffy herself has these very real fears that her competing parental influences will find her to be not good enough. Not normal enough a daughter for her mom, who very openly still wants her to have the sort of life that Buffy's already decided is all but impossible for her, and not dedicated enough a Slayer for her Watcher, who only a few episodes ago accused her of having no respect for him or the role he carries out.

And this is, perhaps, another reason why the episodes work without Faith in them. A key part of Faith's characterisation is that she is intensely jealous of these parts of Buffy's life ("You get the Watcher, you get the Mom," she'll complain later this season, "[...] and what do I get?").

Maybe Faith wouldn't be quite so jealous if she'd been around the time Joyce led a mob of angry parents to try and burn Buffy at the stake. Or if Buffy ever told her that Giles was secretly drugging her so that she wouldn't be able to defend herself from a vampire he was going to send her to fight. That stuff makes the way Gwendolyn Post treated her look ... well, okay, what Mrs Post did to Faith still looks pretty bad.

#btvs #buffy rewatch 2023

[renlyslittlerose]

Last week was the one year anniversary of me posting my first obikin fic, and over the last year being a part of the fandom has brought me so much joy and happiness and enthusiasm once again. Some of you knew me before 2019 and were aware that I was working on my Masters in the Classics, which included a massive thesis. While working on the thesis I was also working part-time at the museum, as well as battling a few chronic illnesses - some of which still affect me today - all of which drained me physically and emotionally. When I had finished my thesis and graduated from the program I was well and truly burnt out. 

 2020 was rough for everyone, and I was contented to just exist without doing much of anything that could be seen as creatively productive. But then 2020 came and passed and I thought maybe I should get back on the saddle, and started working on my own original story. I fell off of social media, didn’t interact in fandom, and tried to grind out a story that wasn’t working like I had hoped it would. 2021 and I still wasn’t ‘feeling it’; I had gone from writing about 1-2k words a day to 500 words a week - if I was lucky. A part of me wondered if I was tapped out for good, that I didn’t have it in me anymore, and that my thesis was my last creative outlet - my last hooray.  I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but when you go from creating almost every day since you were sixteen years old, to suddenly believe that the well has run dry is terrifying. Maybe I was done for good - maybe I wouldn’t create something I was proud of.

And then Kenobi came out. I was a massive prequels fan since I was nine years old and the Phantom Menace came out, and an even bigger Darth Vader fan, but I had never interacted with the fandom in any meaningful way. I was contented to just watch the films and the shows and leave it at that. But as I was watching I had the epiphany that Obi-Wan and Anakin were actually ~roommates all along. I started reading obikin fic, came back on tumblr to see what sort of fandom there was, and suddenly found myself with ideas again, and a desire to create something. 

So I wrote my first fic ‘Sacred to the Gods’ based off of a thesis I wrote during my undergrad about the psychology of a Greek demigod. It took me about a week to write, but in that time I had a lot of fun - the words started to come more easily, the vibes were there, and the passion was slowly but surely returning. One fic turned into another, and then another, and suddenly I had written two multi-chaptered long-form fics, some shorter multi-chaptered ones, and a bunch of oneshots, all about our favourite duo. 

And in the that span of time, not only was I able to rediscover my passion for writing and feel inspired again, but I met so many amazing, incredible, kind, passionate, creative people who welcomed me with open arms. I was used to fandom being sort of a gate-keepy thing, where if you were the new kid in town it would take you a while to work your way into any circles. But it didn’t happen with this fandom. I went up to a few people, held out my macaroni art, and was overjoyed to see them take it and immediately put it up on their fridge.

There are a lot of people I want to thank, and I should thank, from those who read my stuff, those who send me asks on tumblr, those who bookmark and kudos and comment, and those who followed me, but there isn’t any space to do all that. So I hope that a general ‘THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU’ will suffice. Thank you for giving me my passion back, thank you for supporting me, thank you for being an awesome community that has it’s issues, but still cares deeply about the art they’re creating, and who care about fostering a community. 

However, there are a few people I would specifically like to address, because I don’t think this post would be complete without you. I’ll put it behind a cut because this post is already cumbersome:

@bi-wan || My beloved! You were the first person to follow me on tumblr after reading one of my fanfictions, and the first to reach out to me to be my friend. Thank you for reaching your hand out to me and dragging me into the fold. Because of you I’ve made so many good friends who I treasure dearly - including you. 🥰

@ragnarlothcat || I feel like you and Cam are a packaged deal, and so I thank you for being curious about me and checking out my work, and for allowing me to occupy both you and Cam’s comfy little raccoon haven. You’re so supportive, and your work was some of the first I read in the fandom which truly secured my desire to be a part of it. Thank you 💖

@intermundia || I’ve told you this before, but you were the first person I approached in the fandom when I decided I wanted to dip my toes into the experience, and your warmth and welcoming nature secured my desires to be a part of this group. The fact that you support my stories and are so passionate about it really fuels my desires to keep creating (as well as feeding my ego). Thank you for being such a good presence in the fandom.👑

@theseptemberist || I have a feeling that Will told you about me, and I am so glad that he did because we’ve struck up such a friendship that I can’t see myself without. Our chats on discord over the past few months have been wonderful in so many ways that are too innumerous to say here. Thank you for sharing your heart, and for being so kind and empathetic. And thank you for sharing your encyclopedic knowledge of fandom tea ☕

@unspuncreature || Just like Rag and Cam come as a team, you and Cal (and Wren, even though I’ve never spoken to her but feel like I know her) are the trio that delight and entertain. Thank you for your brilliant art and creativity, thank you for letting me bounce all my ideas off of you, and thank you for collaborating with me. You’re brilliant 💗

@kyberkenobi || Beyond the fact that your filthy brain inspires me and delights me, and the fact that you’re willing to goed me on when I come up with something that’s delightfully nasty, your maturity when it comes to fandom is refreshing. At the threat of sounding like a proud grandma, you’re still so young and yet you’ve got a lot of shit figured out - most importantly, that fandom is supposed to be for fun and write what you want to write. Can’t wait for us to finally collaborate one of these days 💕

@dininginspace || What can I say? You’re a delight, you’re incredibly funny, you’re kind and understanding, and you’re the best cheerleader a loser like me could ask for. The fact that you jumped on the Buffy bandwagon when I drove by on it secures you as one of my favourite people. Thank you so much for your early and continued support 🧛��♂️

@nuandia || Thank you for chatting with me all the time; keep up your writing, it’s brilliant and worth it, even if you doubt it sometimes. 💖

@grapenehifics || I had just finished watching MASH when you commented on Moonlight Serenade. The noise I made when I saw your username, followed by the continued joy I get whenever I see you on my dash or in my inbox, or when I see you’ve posted something new for the world to enjoy. 🧡

@palfriendpatine66 || You’re a delight. You’ve got things figured out, and how you can write so much with the life you’ve got is incredible. Keep going - you’re a gem. 💎

@binaryeclipse || Love chatting with you on discord, and being able to throw out random things about Canada into the chat that doesn’t need explaining - you just get it. Especially when it comes to Alberta politics. It doesn’t always feel like a safe space out there when you’re an Albertan who loves her province but also hates so many things about it, but you make me feel as if I can be a contradictory mess and still feel as if I belong in Canada. Your muse will come back soon, I trust in this ✨

@treescape || Your work is sublime and an inspiration. I read your fics first when I went hunting for things to read, and was immediately captivated. When you followed me back and weren’t at all weirded out by me bounding over to you like an excitable golden retriever, I was very grateful - I am very grateful. Can’t wait to see what you create next. 💛

@starsdies || Thank you for listening to me; thank you for being so inspiring; thank you for helping with community events and exchanges. And thank you for streaming The Last of Us for me because I’m too cheap to buy HBO Max. 🙏

@tessiete || You fact-checked the details I put into Moonlight and all I can say is THANK YOU. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting too lost in the details, but its people like you who google that shit that makes me feel good about my obsessions. 🌸

#personal #obikin #thank you everyone #I know this is messy and gushy and gross but whatever #Im sick with a cold so I get to be mushy gushy

[palfriendpatine66]

Thoughts on Fan Convention Culture

(And maybe a call to action)

I would like to share with all y’all a letter I am sending to the organizers of the fan convention I personally attended with some of my thoughts and suggestions.

Agree? Want to do something? Contact the organizers of the convention nearest you send this exact letter: feel free to use this exact letter or use it as a jumping off point for your own.

——

Dear [fan convention organizer]

I’m reaching out as a concerned fan about an important issue surrounding fan conventions and expos that needs to be addressed.

Many fans such as myself feel that the hosts of these events need to be doing more to make them a safe experience for everyone involved. We love our celebrities and creators and want the opportunity to meet them at these events, but it is more important to us that they are treated with respect. Their attendance, much like the continued patronage of fans at conventions and expos, is a privilege: not a right. If there is a continued culture around conventions of treating the talent as a commodity to be consumed, all parties will inevitably stop participating in these events which have been an important part of fandom community for so long.

How does your organization plan to address increasing instances of inappropriate interactions during photo ops and meet and greets? Lax enforcement around this has lead to an unsafe atmosphere for all those involved from event staff to celebrity guests to the fans attending.

Here are some suggestions of actions that event hosts can take to be a leader among others in the industry to in creating a more respectful and enjoyable atmosphere for all:

- Signage around photo and autograph areas, similar to what is currently being used at some events regarding obtaining consent before photographing cosplayers, reminding attendees that nonconsensual touching is not permitted and that agreeing to a photo is not consent to touch

- Social media postings and event newsletters prior to events containing “fandom etiquette” such as:

Respecting the personal space of others

Obtaining consent before photographs

Obtaining specific consent before any touching while posing for photos

Respect language during interactions

Waiting in lines without losing your minds

How to efficiently move through entry and security

Have clearly marked lines and waiting spaces for panels and events, adequately staffed, to prevent crowd surging and competition to access event space. Turn attendees away from lining up before a designated time prior to events.

- A pop up notification of “dos and don’ts” or “know before you go” with basic expectations listed that fans must agree to before purchasing event tickets such as photo ops, autographs, or panels. As well as:

- A reminder included in all event announcement/update/reminder emails stating “with your purchase you have agreed to the following”

These expectations might include reminders of appropriate behavior during interactions and meet and greets, what is or is not allowed to be brought into the space, what is and is not allowed to be photographed or recorded, or other venue specific information.

Taking these actions and ensuring they consistently implemented will increase participants’ satisfaction with their experience and ensure continued attendance at fandom events. My hope is that fandom events like the ones you are partnered with can become a more positive space and continue thrive as an important part of fandom experience and community.

Sincerely ,

A concerned fan

——

Contact Info:

- Indiana Comic Con

- Many fandom conventions across the US are run by FanExpo: their general contact email is: [email protected]

Each city’s expo has their own customer service contact information for their event - consider reaching out to them directly (ex Philadelphia FanExpo and Boston FanExpo are coming up soon)

In addition: fan photos are typically run by a separate organization. It’s really important to express these sentiments to these companies as well; it’s their staff in charge of the photo ops and present for the photos.

Indiana Comic Con was paired with Celeb Photo Ops contact them here

FanExpo is typically paired with Epic Photo Ops, their general contact email is [email protected]

#fandom #fandom thoughts #fan convention #comic con #fan culture #celebrity culture #convention culture #fan expo #feel free to share #star wars fandom #star wars

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Ok. I'll write the meta. (tw bullying, victim blaming) The two largest moments in HP (the werewolf prank, SWM) which are sympathetic to Snape aren't really that well handled.

The werewolf prank doesn't really have that much impact on the plot. Harry pretty much never thinks about this. For the most part it mainly describes why Snape hates Sirius and Remus so much. And it's so victim-blamey too, with Sirius and Remus demonizing Snape. Plus, it's focused on Remus and Sirius too.

SWM was also really really really badly done. Worse maybe than the prank. Harry's POV just shuts off entirely DURING THE SCENE (I've had people get confused so I'm clarifying. During the scene. Not after). No mention of how Harry feels when the bullying starts, or his disgust and disbelief when he sees Sirius and James start bullying Snape. No conflict when he sees that hey the people he loves weren't really that great. No feelings when he sees the person he hates being hurt by the people he loves. ETC.

(SWM is so hard to write meta on for this reason).

And the aftermath isn't really that great either. It's okay for a while, but then it's neatly tied up by Remus and Sirius saying 'oh he liked dark arts, he wasn't that great, James changed THE END' Harry is satisfied with that. And then Harry pretty much never thinks about it again (with like one exception I think). Even when Snape sabotages his potion, even when he's around Remus and Sirius. Even in the aftermath where Snape reveals he was Harry's much adored Half Blood Prince and goes on about the history of 'levicorpus.'

I get that Harry has valid reason to hate Snape but at the same time I'd think finding out your role models did pretty awful stuff and sitting in class with your parent's victim (who hates you due to that bullying) would cause the issue to be more prominent in Harry's mind, especially since he's a victim of bullying himself and canonically is very adverse to people who remind him of Dudley, his own bully.

Wow, that last paragraph hit me in the chest lol

I love that you brought up Harry’s aftermath of Remus and Sirius’ dismissal.

Although Harry did call some bullshit when recalling that Remus had told him that he was made a prefect specifically to tone James and Sirius down but in the memory he stood and watched, and how it only happened because Sirius announced his boredom (which made me happy that he recognized those things), it was disappointing that he let it go so quickly

I think JK wrote it like that because she didn’t intend on him being viewed in a sympathetic manner. That’s why she skipped over it with Harry. It’s from his POV but she’s the writer. If she doesn’t care then she’ll write him to forget about it or ignore it after a couple of scenes, which, like you said, is contradicting to his character considering his feelings towards bullies.

She lacks sympathy and brain cells, and she doesn’t have a great attitude when it comes to Snape. The most she did was clear up the “he’s a villain” crap, so it’s not a surprise, but even though she wrote it that way, I think the situations alone is enough to sympathize for ppl who are naturally sympathetic.

The people in the fandom who don’t sympathize with these incidents just lack sympathy in general. The situations are pretty clear: attempted murder, purposely seeking someone out with malicious intent, torture (choking with soap is equivalent to water boarding which is torture), forcefully stripping someone in public (a minor at that). I don’t see what’s so hard to grasp for some people.

I also think a general misconception is that sympathy = liking the character which is completely not true. You can recognize and address indecency without loving the victim. It’s an excuse.

#love the meta! #severus snape #pro severus snape #pro snape #snape community #hp fandom

[olderthannetfic]

A hanfu isn't just a robe, though. It's a specific type of traditional outfit that has even more specific variations, and while you could describe it more specifically (e.g. she put on her red ruqun, with a pleated horse-face skirt), it isn't always relevant. I've never seen anyone bring this up for, say, kimonos, and I don't think the GOT comparison is fair, either. It'd be more like "he puts on his armour". What type of armour—lamellar, chainmail, heavy, leather? It doesn't always matter. 1/2

--

2/2. Putting down a category of traditional clothing as "meta terminology" also rather irritates me. Again, looking at kimonos. Perhaps it's unfamiliar because CN fashion isn't as widespread as JP, but it's literally just what the broad category of clothing is called, and within the context of danmei fandoms, it shouldn't be unfamiliar knowledge. Trying to Americanize everything by simply calling everything a 'robe' loses the point entirely and is the equivalent of really terrible translation. Sorry, one more thing. When I picture a "robe", I think of wizards. DND. Bathrobes. None of which bear any similarity to a hanfu, and unless you want to describe "a parted robe made of flowing Yun brocade with loose sleeves that wraps around the body, with a wide collar that has its right lapel crossed over its left, tied at the waist with a belt, with a jade pendant weighing down the long skirt" every single time it's brought up, I'm pretty sure "hanfu" is a more accurate descriptor by far.

Uh... anon...

1.

'Robe' is an extremely vague term that absolutely is used for all sorts of garments from all over the world.

The fact that you associate it with a tiny fraction of its conventional meanings isn't going to change how other people use it.

2.

I am indeed more familiar with kimono than hanfu, but I thought the other people did make explicit what their issue is, and it exists for Japan too.

Depending on when your canon is set (or its vague, handwave-y apparent time period for more fantasy canons), the word may not have been in use yet.

'Kimono' as a word is possibly as recent as the 19th Century, though I see one etymological dictionary saying 1630s. Prior to the 19thC, a lot of things we would now call 'kimono' were known as 'kosode'. The further back you go, the more other terms there are and the more the distinctions matter.

I'm personally a fan of fiction set in the Heian period, and they would absolutely not have been calling anything a "kimono" then, nor do the robes look like modern kimono.

Furthermore, a generic-ass word like 'wear on upper body'+'thing' doesn't get its modern interpretation until it has significant competition from Western clothing. Today, it has a relatively narrow range of interpretations based on the calcified form of traditional Japanese clothing that still hangs on.

It's an absurd affectation to insist on calling all ancient Japanese clothing 'kimono'.

That wouldn't be de-Americanizing your writing.

That would be "According to keikaku".

--

From what I've seen in other people's meta posts about Chinese fandoms, the reason people object to 'hanfu' in fic is that this word has gained a lot of popularity in very recent history as part of the hanfu revival movement.

While it existed before that, it wasn't used so consistently, and it mainly turned up in contexts talking about Chinese as opposed to foreign clothing. It doesn't seem to have been a general term used like "So-and-so put on his completely normal outfit to get ready for the day".

People are using it (outside of fic) to talk about a specific range of historically accurate Chinese clothing. It doesn't cover everything, and in the modern and highly gatekept usage, it specifically doesn't cover historically-inspired fantasy costumes like those on The Untamed.

If you're Chinese and you feel it should cover those, fair enough, but that isn't what a lot of the hanfu education blogs have been saying.

People aren't pulling this out of their asses out of a desire to be American. They're getting it from hanfu blogs asking them not to use the word like that.

If you think those blogs are wrong, please say that.

[haleigh-sloth]

Dabi: On Twice's Death

Since someone brought it up in my inbox earlier I wanted to touch on a topic that I never really expanded on, but have wanted to.

The biggest argument on Twice's death is usually whether or not Hawks did what he "had to do" (he didn't, and I'm not getting into it), but the other big topic, for some reason, is whether or not Dabi contributed to Twice dying and should hold some responsibility.

My answer is: No.

But--for some reason people on both the hero side and villain side of the fandom have bestowed this phantom responsibility on Dabi, and feel he should be held accountable.

This is going to take some breaking down into parts to get my point across because there are so many holes in this take that I don't even have a clear starting point to counter it. I'll start with:

What Dabi did

What did Dabi do? He participated in Hawks to playing a double role by pretending to trust him. But he only pretended a little, because he kept Hawks at arm's length and never brought him to meet Shigaraki--despite Hawks wanting to. And as far as canon tells us, Hawks only came into contact with the rest of the League members after MVA happened, and the MLA came into the picture. So therefore, Hawks was now in close quarters with not only the League, but the entire PLF.

So what does that mean? It means everybody let Hawks in. Everybody put some sort of trust in him. It doesn't matter whether anybody legitimately trusted him or not. What matters is that everybody was in agreement for letting Hawks--the freaking number 2 hero--hang around and learn about their plans.

Did we see anybody--ANYBODY--on the villain side question Hawks's presence? Show any suspicion? Well, yep:

Apparently he wasn't fully trusted by everybody. Understandably. But what exactly did those people (who aren't Dabi), who didn't trust him, do to take preventative measure? Besides just spy on him?

*crickets because the answer is nothing*

So...why is Dabi somehow more responsible than those people who also didn't trust Hawks?

Next segment:

The League and their responsibility toward one another

So this take that Dabi is partially responsible ALSO stems from some idea that Dabi holds some sort of protective responsibility over the League. This is what I meant at the beginning when I said "phantom responsibility". Because as far as I can tell, literally nobody assigned Dabi to be the protector of the League.

Nobody within the League asked Dabi to keep a close eye on Hawks since he was the one who organized Hawks's involvement.

And just with that--nobody in the League bothered to be suspicious of Hawks on their own terms. Nobody in the League, especially Toga (someone who cared for Twice especially deeply) thought too hard about the fact that Hawks and Twice were spending so much time together, alone.

Maybe they trusted Dabi's judgment? Perhaps that's the case. But that brings it back on them to choose to do that. Just as Dabi is an individual with the capability to make his own choices, so are they.

And let's look at Twice specifically. The League by this point knows Twice is vulnerable, gullible even. Twice is very open with his reaction to his trauma. He's very clingy to the League. He brought Overhaul to them because Twice trusted him enough. They know how he is. So--by the logic that Dabi is responsible because he knows Twice is vulnerable, and he brought Hawks into the picture willingly and let him near Twice, well--that means the rest of the League is responsible too. Because they all did those things. Let Hawks in. Didn't question him and Twice spending so much time together.

BUT--is the League responsible? Again, my answer is no. Because I've never seen anywhere in canon where they all openly feel some protective responsibility over one another (and I don't mean Spinner toward Shigaraki--different matter and issue altogether). The League isn't responsible for not looking closer and Hawks and Twice getting close, because they aren't Twice's babysitters. Just as Dabi isn't the League's, nor Twice's.

That precedent was just never set for them at any point in time.

The League operates under the idea that they're all individuals who can do what they want. Was Twice especially more vulnerable than the rest of them? I mean, yeah, definitely.

But again--the League isn't a group with organization, rules, or expectations. They don't expect anything from each other.

Literally the bare minimum expectation is that they show up together and leave together. And even that expectation gets thrown out the window after MVA. Because Shigaraki jumps at the opportunity to get more power, despite it separating him from his friends for 4 months, knowing that literally anything good or bad could happen during that time (and boy, bad things did happen).

My point is that--yeah they care about each other. But they don't have any expectations of each other. None of them do. They don't have expectations from Shigaraki to like....be protective over them, despite being their leader. And naturally they don't have that expectation from Dabi either. It would make no sense for them to show absolutely no indication of having that responsibility toward one another, but suddenly when shit hits the fan, Dabi shoulders it all.

Dabi acted on his own accord. Just like Shigaraki does when he goes into surgery. Just like Toga does when she gets close to the UA kids. Just like Twice does when he gets close to Hawks (even though that power dynamic is extremely unbalanced). Talking about the League's responsibility toward one another brings me onto my next point:

Twice's self-assigned responsibility toward the League, and the tragedy behind it

Now when I'm talking about the League and their responsibility toward one another, or lack thereof, I'm gonna say Twice is the exception.

But he's just that--the exception, not the rule.

Twice decided on his own that he wanted to make the League's happiness his priority. In a way it's a beautiful bond he has with everybody--but it's also tragic.

Twice puts everyone in the League above himself. We see it during MVA. He swallows his emotions and joins Overhaul's group because Shigaraki tells him that it's for the League. We see it up until the last moments of his death.

Twice says he would trade his soul for the League's happiness. That level of self-sacrifice is noble and all, but to be willing to DIE for the League is a tiiiiny bit extreme.

I've seen people describe Twice's clinginess to the League as his coping mechanism--and I am very inclined to agree. Because the rest of the League does not respond to their trauma this way.

I honestly cannot say that I am convinced that Toga, Shigaraki, or Dabi would be willing to die for the League. Honestly--I'm really not convinced that's the case for them. Shigaraki is self-destructive, but he isn't sacrificial. He doesn't lay his life on the line FOR anybody. He fights and fights until he breaks because he's tired of the world putting him down repeatedly, and he's not going to let it do it to him again.

That type of behavior does not tell me that he would die for the League. Dabi--I really don't even need to explain. He wouldn't. I'm sorry but he wouldn't. Toga? Same case--she wouldn't. She wants to live. Compress and Spinner--sacrificial, yes, but willing to die? Compress maybe, but he didn't seem like he was ready for death, more like he was ready to be captured and accept that.

This isn't something I can say for certain because we don't see a whole lot of Twice before Magne's death--but I wonder if Magne dying and Shigaraki taking revenge and dubbing it as "for the League" was the starting point of Twice internalizing his loyalty to the League to his core. We'll probably never know, but that's one way to see it.

But Twice shouldered a responsibility he assigned to himself. Whether that's in his personality, or a trauma response, or both--that's what happened. Nobody in the League asked him to be so sacrificial.

But what is so tragic about Twice being willing to sacrifice himself for the League’s happiness?

What’s tragic is that—even if he had lived, everything was going to shit no matter what. The League he grew so attached to was already hitting its breaking point. Toga was still generally unhappy and wanted more—more than what Shigaraki’s destructive future could provide for her (the proof of this is what’s happening now, currently). Dabi was a ticking time bomb—no need to explain more. And Shigaraki was going to get possessed regardless. And as a result, Spinner was going to do whatever it took to support Shigaraki—indicating that he’d still be AFO’s pawn.

Twice died feeling like he had a happy life, and that's the best he can ask for.

And--assuming that the League all get their happy endings, then Twice's dying wishes will be granted.

The League's reaction to screw ups

So for arguments' sake lets say Dabi should hold some responsibility.

What would his consequence be? I mean, we saw how everyone reacted to Overhaul killing Magne, sooooooo. My guess is that maybe the League would blame Hawks. So...who tf is gonna blame Dabi? Nobody. And I base this off of what? The same thing happening several arcs prior. Lol.

Next.

So who is actually responsible for Twice dying?

Hawks. Next question.

Dabi not expecting the unexpected

Again, this isn't super necessary to bolster the point, but here it is anyway. We know what Dabi's expectations of heroes are:

So him not expecting Hawks to literally kill Twice is supported by previous events. And his reaction to Hawks actually killing him speaks for itself.

Conclusion:

Dabi isn't responsible because of the simple fact that he did not kill Twice. Hawks did. Easy.

But the idea that Dabi should be held responsible is usually tied to the idea that he had an obligation to protect Twice. This is just...not supported. Not that I can see. Each League member is left to do what they want. There are no rules or expectations. It was not an expectation of Dabi to be Twice's keeper, just as it wasn't an expectation for the rest of the League (despite all of them knowing Twice was especially vulnerable and knowing he was spending time with Hawks).

If Dabi had that obligation, then by that logic so did everyone else. But again--no rules, no expectations.

So with all of that--it speaks volumes that Dabi took it upon himself to go try to save Twice.

Which also brings me to my last point that the takes of "Dabi not caring" need to die along with the "Dabi is responsible for Twice getting killed".

Both takes need to cease.

#bnha #bnha s6 #meta? #not sure #bnha meta #league of villains #dabi #todoroki touya #bnha twice #jin bubaigawara #hawks #boku no hero academia

[missmaywemeetagain]

Broken Glass Chapter 2 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x OC Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis Presley - Elvis (2022)

Read More Here - Broken Glass Masterlist! 💔🥂❤️‍🩹

Prompt: You are Dolores Cannava, a young Italian-American nurse desperate to make her own way in the world and break free of her dysfunctional mafia-connected family and traumatic past. Elvis Presley is just returning home from his two-year stint in the Army, looking more handsome than ever, but feeling the pressure to successfully find his way back to the stratospheric career he was forced to leave behind. In a twisted turn of fate, Elvis finds himself in the hospital where your paths cross. Forced to harbor his potentially career-ending secret and needing to escape a terrifying future in New York, you are pulled into his unusual world and must endure a begrudging fake relationship with Elvis in order to protect his reputation (and his life). 

TW: Hospitals, illness, cussing. The Colonel. Some historical inaccuracies.

Tags: Fake relationship. Slow burn. Angst. (Sort of) enemies to lovers. Hurt/Comfort.

Rating: PG (ish?) (but this story will eventually be Mature/NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact)   ||     Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: Happy Broken Glass Wednesday, y'all! I'm going to try to put out a chapter a week on Wednesdays (we shall see if I can keep up lol). Thank you for your lovely responses to Chapter 1 and for giving this little fic a chance. ❤️

This chapter dives into some heavy stuff in that I've sped up the timeline and brought some of the serious health issues that Elvis experienced more prominently later in his life to the forefront in 1960. I've always wondered what might have happened if they had recognized his many complex conditions for what they were early in his life. Truth be told, I am endlessly fascinated by the medical conundrum that was Elvis and that he lived most of his life with some pretty severe shit that at the time no one understood or had names for. Of course, I simplify the shit out of it here and try to put them in laymen's terms. I've taken some major artistic liberties with history in that there is likely no way in 1960 they would have be able to diagnose, especially so quickly, his complex conditions. Also, I am not a medical professional, so I've done my best to describe things whist moving the plot along. I HIGHLY recommend reading Sally Hoedel's book Elvis: Destined to Die Young if you are interested in the specifics regarding E's health journey and how he ended up where he did in terms of that. It's a superbly researched and somewhat heartbreaking book that I think every Elvis fan should read. It certainly inspired part of this story.

As always, I love and live for your reactions, comments, asks, and reblogs, so thank you in advance for both reading and giving another one of my stories a chance! 

I imagined it with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat.

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch.

I’ve used the tag list from Pink Scarf, and added those who requested it, so please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

Story is cross-posted to my Wattpad and AO3, if you prefer those reading experiences! 

Shit.

Elvis winces as he cracks open his eyes just enough to see the sun blazing in on him. The infernal light pierces straight into his head, worsening the headache that already throbs against the inside of his skull. He quickly shuts his eyes again, cursing whoever thought it was a good idea to keep the curtains open on a sunny late winter’s day.

Gotta have Lamar cover those damn windows with something more than those flimsy-ass cutains, he thinks, already pissed off.

It takes him a moment to register where he is and why he’s there. That, in fact, the sun’s rays are rather weak and dim, making him wonder just what time it is. Holding the bridge of his nose against the pain in his head, he manages to squint his eyes open to find himself in a rather small hospital room.

Bits and pieces start to come back to him, though the days and nights run together into one big jumble. How he’d finally escaped the confines of his service in Germany, so damn excited to be coming home that he hadn’t properly slept in days. He’d just kept popping those great little pills he’d obtained from a more than generous pharmacist in Bad Nauheim and, fueled by those and pure restlessness to get back to the states, he’d managed to easily keep the smile on his face for the cameras in Germany and the UK.

But the flight over the Atlantic had him chewing his nails to the quick, his legs going a mile a minute. He feared flying ever since the emergency landing that he, Scotty, and Bill had to make in that small, dinky little plane back in the old days, when things had just started to kick up for them in the business. It was made worse by his mama being convinced that he was gonna die in a horrible, fiery crash, so he’d taken to trains and boats and cars as his main forms of transport. The U.S. Army wanted to get him home sooner rather than later, however, and if there was one thing he’d learned in the last two years, it’s that you don’t try to fight Uncle Sam.

Whether it was the flight or the pills or the lack of rest, he’d started to get queasy and dizzy on that pass over the ocean. Then, the scratchiness of his throat, the burn of his forehead, and the chilled sweat that began to stain his perfectly pressed and tailored uniform were the telltale signs of a bout of tonsilitis striking him at precisely the wrong time.

That’s where things get a little fuzzy. Between the pain behind his eyes and at the base of his skull and the heavy fatigue consuming him, it’s not coming to him as quickly as he’d like. His eyes begin to adjust to the sunlight, and he puts together enough to know whatever happened between that flight and landing in New York was enough to land him flat on his ass in the hospital.

New York. That explains all the racket, he thinks as the sounds below on the streets echo off the buildings, creating a cacophony unique to the big city.

The door to the little room swings open then, making him jump out of his skin. It’s as though his state of consciousness was magically communicated to the staff because in walks an older gentleman in a long, white coat, along with his daddy and the Colonel. Their faces are all different degrees of solemn, which sets a churning dread down into the pit of his stomach.

“Glad to see you’re awake, Mr. Presley. You’ve been asleep quite a while,” the doctor says, the man’s education only belying a hint of a New York accent. “You’ve had us a bit worried.”

“Mister Presley is my father, Doctor. Please call me Elvis,” he manages to croak out. The fire in his throat flames from the use, causing him to cough and sputter. There’s an uncomfortable heaviness in his chest that tightens with each breath, and that knot in his stomach coils ever tighter.

“Take it easy, son,” his daddy says softly, pouring a glass of water from the table against the wall and handing it to him. The action triggers a memory: a pretty, little dark-haired nurse all in white doing the same in the middle of the night.

Elvis is pulled from the memory as the doctor begins speaking in a serious tone: “Elvis, I’m Dr. Paulson. You had quite the fall in the airplane yesterday morning and hit your head. Do you remember?”

“No, sir.”

“Hmm, that isn’t unusual with a head injury of this type. You might find that your memory has some gaps, bit that is to be expected and will likely resolve with time. But your injury is not what has me concerned, young man, it’s the cause of your unconsciousness that is the real culprit, I’m afraid.”

“What do y’mean, sir? Just feels like a flare of the ol’ tonsils to me.” As soon as it’s out of his mouth, Elvis knows it’s not the whole truth. He’s never felt quite this terrible in his life, with the way he’s struggling for breath and his body aches from head to toe.

“Elvis, along with your fall, you also went into respiratory distress last night.” Suddenly, Elvis remembers the laughing fit, how he couldn’t catch his breath, how the air just couldn’t seem to fill his lungs as that pretty nurse held his hand. But he thinks maybe it happened before that, too, him gasping for breath as the roar of airplane engines rang in his ears. Icy fear runs down his spine at the remembrance of not being able to draw breath. His attention snaps back to the doctor as he continues.

“We’ve run some tests, and that, coupled with your family history…” the austere man hesitates, “Well, I’m afraid it’s not good news.”

The Colonel glances away and out the window at that, his mouth set in a frown Elvis has never seen before, but it’s the look of sadness on his daddy’s face that finally sets a wave of panic rolling through him.

“Lay it on me, Dr. Paulson,” Elvis says, steeling himself.

“You seem to have a condition that is affecting your lungs, heart, and liver, all of which are vital to our survival. Looking at your mother’s medical records, we think she may have been afflicted with the same condition, and possibly more family members on her side. In fact, it’s likely what caused her early demise,” Dr. Paulson explains.

At the mention of his mama, Elvis’ heart constricts, his barely buried grief stinging his eyes. He blinks away the tears as fast as he can, trying to follow what the doctor is saying.

“Along with that, your immune system also appears compromised, which would explain your frequent and severe bouts of fever and tonsilitis. Altogether, it’s a perfect storm that is likely to only get worse with time. Of course, medical science is improving every day, and there may be better treatments down the road…” Dr. Paulson trails off.

Dread falls over him like a heavy blanket. “What’re ya sayin’, sir?” Elvis asks quietly but is afraid to hear the answer he thinks he’s gonna get.

Dr. Paulson takes a deep breath. “Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s likely these conditions are going to shorten your lifespan considerably.”

The words hang in the air like a suffocating dark cloud. His daddy’s face crumples and he turns away, while the Colonel winces—actually winces—at the words.

“So, y-y-you’re saying this gonna k-k-kill me? That I-I-I’m gonna die?” His vocal incredulousness covers how the sheer panic overcoming him sets his heart galloping. “I’m only 25, Doc…y-y-you gotta be w-wrong ‘bout this. I just spent two damn years in the Army, and they sure as hell didn’t say nothin’ about no ‘condition’!”

“This condition is very rare, Elvis, and we are learning more about it every day. I’m not saying it’ll be today, but considering the episode you’ve just had, this disease will factor critically into your overall health and survival going forward. It has already started a cascade of chronic health issues of varying severity that will worsen as you age, and in the end, this combination of factors will almost certainly be the thing that kills you.”

Hearing those words out of the doctor’s mouth sets him numb with disbelief. This can’t be fucking happening. Not when everything is gettin’ set to be back on track. Not when I got so much left to do.

“No disrespect, Doctor, but I-I-I don’t accept that. I w-want a second opinion,” Elvis shakes his head, the words popping out of his stubborn mouth before he has much chance to think on them, to actually consider the possible truth of them.

But a deep part of him knows.

He knows his mama died too young and that her illness didn’t make sense. He knows he’s got family who died before their time. But most of all, he knows how he feels, and something ain’t right.

“Colonel Parker and your father have said as much, so I will contact some specialists to meet you in Memphis upon your return. But in some ways, young man, this is a good thing,” Dr. Paulson intones softly.

“Now, how the hell d’ya figure that?!” Elvis rasps out, nearly belligerent. He’s not one to be disrespectful, usually, especially to a man of such education, but he feels like shit and the blazing red heat of his temper pushes in before he can stop it.

Dr. Paulson blinks at him with his brows raised, and Elvis feels a wave of shame crash over his already rolling fear and anger. His mama didn’t raise him to talk to people that way. He takes a breath.

“I-I-I’m sorry, sir,” Elvis apologizes deferentially. “I-I’m just h-havin’ a hard time with what y-you’re saying, is all.”

“That’s understandable. What I meant by it being a ‘good thing’ is that now we know what we are dealing with and can set you up with lifestyle changes that could both improve your quality of life and perhaps extend it. We can set you up with constant care in order to avoid…things taking a downturn.”

Elvis’ head is spinning, pounding, making him feel wildly out of control. “Lifestyle changes? Constant care? I ain’t no invalid, Dr. Paulson, I’ll tell you for sure.” He nearly growls the promise as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, meaning to walk the hell out of here and show this doctor just how wrong he is.

In the back of his mind, he realizes instantly how stupid it sounds, considering that the moment he stands, his entire body betrays him and sends him careening to the floor, if not for the doctor and his daddy grabbing him under each arm and hauling his ass back into the bed. There, he is faced with the terrible reality that he’s sicker than a dog with the world spinning out from under him in more ways than one.

“None of us want this to be true, son, but maybe you should listen to the doctor,” his father says quietly in his ear, putting a hand on his shoulder.

This is the last thing Elvis wants to do. He wants to kick and scream and rally himself well. I can prove them all wrong, he thinks, if only he could stop the world from spinning and his breath from wheezing and his body from aching.

Fuck.

Elvis can’t bear to look at anyone, choosing to stare up at the high, vaulted ceiling, blinking away the blast of dark spots in his eyes as he tries to catch his damn breath.

“What’s next?” he finally wheezes out, counting the dots on the ceiling tiles to keep him from floating away.

“Well, first we need to keep you in the hospital as long as it takes to get you stabilized before you can go home to Memphis.”

“Absolutely not!” the Colonel exclaims from near the window. “We’ve already kept the press at bay long enough with talks of flight delays and other nonsense. We can’t hold them back much longer. You listen here, that boy needs to make appearances, and he needs to look the picture of health doing so, or he’s not going to have a career to go back to!”

The doctor scoffs. “Mr. Parker, look at him—Elvis’ career is the least of his worries.”

“It’s Colonel Parker, Mr. Paulson,” he hisses, “and his career is most certainly your concern. You have your expertise, and I have mine, and I’m telling you right now, I didn’t spend two years keeping him in the public eye despite his service to have you flush it down the toilet. I’m sure you don’t want to be the doctor that doomed Elvis Presley. The one who ripped him away from his legions of loyal fans.” The threat is crystal clear, and by the resulting silence, the doctor seems somewhat shaken.

“Sir, there will be no career if the young man is dead.” The doctor’s words hang heavy, and Elvis closes his eyes, willing himself to be anywhere but here. But there is no escaping this. No amount of money, talent, or fame is gonna get him out of this one.

Finally, he brings himself to speak, “I ain’t givin’ up my career, Dr. Paulson. But I also feel like something the cat dragged in last night and can’t get outta this damned bed. So, we’re gonna need to figure out a compromise.”

Dr. Paulson stares at Elvis and the Colonel like they’ve lost their minds. Vernon stays characteristically silent.

“Anything short of you staying here until you at least recover from this episode will be against my medical advice. You are in too fragile a state to consider anything else,” Dr. Paulson says, almost pleadingly. “And with this condition, if you try to jump back into the breakneck lifestyle of a superstar, your life will be short indeed.”

Elvis sets his jaw. “Sir, no offense, but you don’t know me very well. I can do just about anythin’ I set my mind to. We’ve all worked very hard to get me where I am, and I ain’t ready to give that up just yet. I got too much to do. Now tell me, what do I gotta do to get you to let me outta this hospital?”

The doctor looks at him and shakes his head, silent. Finally, he relents. “First off, you have to be able to get out of bed and stand on your own two feet without collapsing.”

“Fine. I can do it.” Even the Colonel looks at him with a tinge of disbelief on that one. “Maybe not this instant, but I’ll do it.”

“Secondly, if you are able to do that and still choose to leave against advice, I recommend having a doctor with you at all times, someone who can monitor your vitals and give you care when you take a turn for the worse,” the doctor concedes, “which you most certainly will.”

“Done,” Elvis agrees quickly. Anything that will get him out of here and back home to his life.

“Now, listen here, my boy, there is no reasonable way to spin a doctor following you everywhere without the press having a field day. You could lose everything the minute the public knows you’re…sick,” the Colonel points at him, faltering on that last word.

He means ‘dying’ not ‘sick,’ an unwelcome voice in the back of his head adds. But Elvis understands the Colonel’s point. Even as private as he is, it’ll be difficult to go to a movie set or recording studio with a stuffy doctor in tow and not have anyone find out. Shit.

Dr. Paulson looks exasperated and crosses his arms. Colonel just glares. But it’s his daddy that finally pops up in the uncomfortable silence.

“What…what about a nurse? Elvis always has girls hanging around him…” Vernon trails off.

Silence fills the air. Elvis blinks slowly and can see the wheels turning in Colonel’s head, the way they do when he’s about ready to come up with the perfect plan, the perfect snow job.

“It…could work, if we get one young and pretty enough. Don’t love it because I wanted to keep Elvis publicly available in the eyes of his fans—no attachments—but looks like we may not have a choice. Better you taken than single and…” The Colonel chooses not to finish that sentence, but they all know the ending he’s avoiding, what he’s choosing not to say.

He races to continue, “But you’ve got to keep up appearances in public, my boy, since she’ll have to be a steady fixture in your life. No more frolicking around with every pretty thing with legs. No more girlfriends in every county, state, and country from here to Timbuktu. No one, girlfriends included, can know what we’re up to or all could be lost. Even your wild friends are going to have to believe this is real for it to work.”

Elvis’ heart begins to race with the thought of being so thoroughly confined to a relationship, especially with some random woman who he might not even be attracted to, physically or otherwise, even if it is just for show. He’s always hated the Colonel being in his private romantic business, knowing that the man has managed to somehow get rid of more than a few of his steadies with some unknown manipulations to keep him “unattached.” So, for Colonel to agree to this plan, Elvis realizes just how dire the situation is.

And God knows, he already has more girlfriends than he can handle as it is. He has yet to be reunited with Anita, pines for Priscilla from afar, and dragged Elisabeth from Germany and sent her ahead to Graceland, not to mention the multitude of other flings he indulges in. But he loves women, to a fault, and he doesn’t want to be tied down to just one (no matter how he tells his girls otherwise). Worrying his lower lip in his teeth, he realizes he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’ll have to find a way to make it work.

The Colonel must sense this from him. “Oh, come on now, my boy, we all know your talent for juggling women is near as good as your talent for performing. Think of it as a challenge to hone your acting craft. There are worse things than being made to spend time with a pretty girl,” Colonel drawls, daring to wink at him.

Elvis feels sick to his stomach with the dishonesty of it and with the oppressive feeling that his life is no longer his own. To be fair, he’d been feeling like the walls were closing in, pressing him into submission, since the moment he received his draft notice, but this...this is different. The hell of this knowledge strokes awake a deep, dark sliver of him that has always believed his time here is destined to be limited, that no one should achieve his level of fame and success without paying a terrible price. But the worst is the horrible thought that perhaps it should’ve been him who was supposed to die in the womb and not Jesse, and that all this had been a mistake from the start. Some sort of cosmic joke.

No, God wouldn’t do that. God has a plan. He has to, he thinks, banishing the shameful thought back into the dark recesses of him mind from whence it came. A lump forms in his parched throat and he gulps, trying to get it down, trying to chase away the demons that threaten at the edges of his vision. Please God, please, he prays, though he’s not entirely sure what for. Perhaps the prayer begs to know that this is all one of his damn night terrors, or maybe it’s to chase away the horrors inside his mind that seek to consume him whole.

A small part of him is tempted to throw in the towel and to just fade into obscurity. Lord knows he’s already achieved more of his fair share of fame and fortune, more than most achieve in a lifetime. Maybe he should just live out the rest of his now-shortened life in peace and quiet. Start a family with one of his girls like his mama so desperately wanted. He realizes this is what she feared all along—like she’d had some sort of maternal premonition that he had been living on borrowed time from the start.

But that feels like a prison of another sort. No, he loves music too damn much, the way it tingles in his soul, clicking into place like the pieces of a complex puzzle that only he has the ability to complete, and the performing electrifies him in such an addictive and indescribable way that he can’t fathom trying to give it up. And beyond all that, he knows he’s got it in him to be a great actor if given the chance.

Quittin’ isn’t an option, he thinks, even if it kills me. Better to burn bright doin’ what I love rather than have nothin’ to live for.

Blood pounds at the inside of his skull like a ticking clock, his mind spinning with the fear and rage of it all. He is in no space to make these decisions, he realizes, but because so many want him to keep going, to keep working, to keep living, he knows what he’s gotta do.

Elvis finally nods his agreement, adding pointedly, “As long as I get a say in who she is. There’s gotta be chemistry for this to work.”

Dr. Paulson shakes his head and throws his hands in disbelief at this insane plan. “I think the most important thing is that she is competent, not her looks or ‘chemistry.’ Not to mention, she’ll have to be single and willing to give up her entire life to not only care for you 24/7 but to also pretend to be your girlfriend. I hope you have plenty of money to throw at this problem, Elvis.”

The Colonel grins wickedly. “I think you underestimate the power Elvis has over young ladies, Doctor. I have no doubt you’ll help us find someone suitable.”

“In the next few days? You must be joking,” Dr. Paulson huffs.

The stabbing pain behind Elvis’ eyes gets worse with these considerations brought to light. Yes, he does well with women, but the reality of any girl in her right mind agreeing to such conditions feels slim.

It feels serendipitous, then, that it happens to be this exact moment when you walk through the door.

“L-L-Little bird,” Elvis says, his nickname for you somehow, by the grace of God, popping into his muddled brain the instant he sees you. The name stutters from his lips almost in awe.

God has a plan.

The rest of the men turn in unison to stare at you. Elvis watches as you stop short, your intelligent sky-blue eyes going wide with surprise, annoyance, and apprehension at the intimidating scene before you.

Your mouth opens with a retort, then closes quickly at the strange silence that follows. The men take you in, from head to toe, as you stand frozen in the doorway like a deer in headlights.

After a moment, you seem to remember why you came in the first place, shaking off the uncomfortable gazes of the men and finally clear your throat to speak. “Excuse me, I didn’t realize…I-I’m sorry to interrupt, but Nurse Hunt sent me to find you, Dr. Paulson. She said it was urgent.”

Dr. Paulson, Vernon, and Colonel one by one turn their heads to look at Elvis. Colonel’s wicked little smile turns the corners of his mouth when he sees the way Elvis’ eyes take you in, a little bit of life returning to his pale cheeks.

Of course, Elvis liked you from the moment he’d laid eyes on you yesterday. With your deep brunette hair and stunningly big, bright blue eyes, you instantly piqued his interest, as you fit his usual type well. Your olive skin and striking features are different though, and remind him a bit of a young Sophia Loren, the beautiful Italian actress who he’d met on the movie studio lot a few years back.

In the looks department, you’d fit the role quite well.

The only problem he can see is that you’d made your distain for him quite clear last night.  

“I’ll be right there, Nurse,” Dr. Paulson finally says, realizing you were waiting for any sort of response beyond staring. Relieved, you scurry away as quickly as you’d arrived.

“What do we know about Nurse—” Colonel starts the moment you leave.

“Cannava,” Elvis and Dr. Paulson say in tandem. Elvis is surprised your name falls off his tongue so easily, especially with how clouded his memory is.

“She’s the youngest to ever graduate our program here at Bellevue, and for that itself she is a standout. But being so young, she is still relatively inexperienced despite her excellent training,” the doctor warns, and seeing the look on the Colonel’s face wanting more, he continues, “Beyond that, I’d have to ask around.”

“She’ll never do it,” Elvis interjects with disappointment. “She doesn’t like me much.”

“Nonsense, my boy, I’ve never seen you anything but persistent in your need and ability to win a woman over,” Colonel says encouragingly, patting Elvis’ hand. “And perhaps it will work in our favor in her ability to remain…professional around you. Use that winning charm of yours to win her over. That and a healthy sum she can’t refuse.”

Elvis doesn’t even know your first name, but he can’t help the fact that he’s been drawn to you since the moment you met. The little flutter of his heart, the revealing sign of his already budding infatuation, loves the idea of you being his.

But she won’t be mine, not really, he reminds himself.

Either way, it’s a challenge he’s not quite sure he’s up for in his weakened state, but time is running short, and he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’s going to have to figure out a way to convince you this is a good idea.

“Find out everything you can,” Colonel orders the doctor, “and then bring her to me.”

What the Colonel wants, the Colonel gets.

And Elvis has the distinct feeling he’s already in over his head and is taking you with him, willing or not.

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[uselessheretic]

sorry if this is out of left field, but i’ve been thinking abt it for a while…i would consider myself a passive izzy enjoyer and i am not at all an “izzy loved the toe cutting” person, /however/, I feel like you (the general you, not you specifically) can’t deny that he was happy about it after the fact? like the next day the “blackbeard is himself again” line he is definitely jazzed abt that and part of the demonstration that blackbeard is himself is the toe mutilation

also i’ve been wanting to ask more active izzy lovers/supporters, again i enjoy the man and am interested to see where his story goes but i will never ever forgive him for what he did to ed when he was trying to heal, is that something izzy stans don’t think about? don’t care about? take it as a given that everyone agrees was fucked up it so it just never gets brought up? sorry i’m not trying to put you in any specific group if you don’t want to be or assume where you stand but i enjoy reading your meta so was interested if you had any thoughts about it

i feel like a lot of it is up to interpretation! there's not generally one opinion held on things, and i've seen different ways people have read those scenes.

i know that i've seen quite a few people challenge the idea that izzy is "happy" when he does his "blackbeard is himself again" but it's really just how you read it. when you look at how he smiles there, it feels kinda? off?? forced. honestly, i don't think he's actually glad about it, but i also don't think izzy is aware that he's not. i feel like a lot of his emotions ep10 is very mixed up and muddy where he's largely acting from an emotional place while not even knowing what that place is. whether he's actually glad in the moment is something you can read multiple ways imo, but i do feel like even if read as "he's happy this happened" most izzy people would still be like "but that's not gonna last." what izzy thinks he wants isn't in line with what he actually wants, and i expect that to come to a head in s2 as izzy's forced to address the actual root of his issues surrounding ed.

as for the being cruel to ed when ed's sad, again, i just think that's up to the fan. one place izzy stans defs differ is that the majority of them don't view whatever ed was doing as healing. i think it's a mixed bag personally, where ed's first reaction to heartbreak of doing things like reaching out to lucius is good! but it's not perfect where he really comes off like the drunk girl crying in the bathroom when singing his song to the crew. it's definitely better than the fucking kraken though lol but even with ed's song you can see how his interpretation of lucius' "let go and be born again" goes a bit over his head and straight back into suicide ideation. the talent show and the crew's agreement towards it feels kinda like damage control, and another continuation of ed being avoidant to his actual issues. he never actually mentions stede during this time and the first time his name comes up is with izzy who's being an absolute cunt, but it evokes a strong reaction from ed. i don't think ed would be happy if anybody mentioned stede.

in general though, i feel like it is kinda taken as a given that izzy's actions were fucked up, but that it's not on the same level as the way people in fandom talk about it. izzy was being purposefully cruel. he was trying to hurt ed. there can be some reasoning behind it, about whether ed's behavior is threatening their lives or that izzy's acting out from feeling abandoned yadda yadda yadda, but it doesn't excuse it anymore so than it excuses ed's actions in retaliation.

the show is about imperfect people where characters like stede and ed in another show would be straight up villains. stede's literally a deadbeat dad who abandoned his family. if this story was from alma's pov we'd want him dead. ed made fang kill his dog! that on its own is almost always considered an irredeemable offense that automatically excludes a character from redemption, but it doesn't in ofmd. izzy's actions are bad, but they're no worse than stede or ed's. i feel like fans just take it as another continuation of how fucked up ed and izzy's relationship is where you can see the way that they escalate throughout the season dragging each other down deeper.

there's no need to justify it or defend it because why would there be? he fucked up and was a dick. for a lot of izzy stans, that doesn't exclude him from sympathy though. it's just adding flavor to the everything bagel of their cringefail marriage.

#ofmd

[solarwynd]

When armys used to talk about leftovers I used to roll my eyes because not liking a group when they change their musical direction is the most common thing just as I found myself annoyed by their hatred for multis - do you expect everyone to not listen to or to hate every other musical act just because they stan BTS?

However as someone who used to hardcore stan JK, I finally get the leftover part a little. I talk about him a little too much and it's because I used to stan him. I think its so much disappointing when someone you used to like becomes a poster boy of selling out. But I'm going to try to make a conscious effort to stop. It's just a bunch of negativity for no reason. Unfortunately pjms talk about JK a lot - mostly because jjks talk about Jimin - and the whole cycle keeps running. To some extent I appreciate the spite-inspo they provide pjms but at a certain point I want to open my twitter tl and not see fight after fight with every fandom on twitter and a bunch of ratkooks and maidkooks or pigmins or horsie or all that bs being thrown around. I've been off twitter for a week because of this (also to catch up with my assignments) and coming back, things are worse than ever.

I don't know what the solution is but things seem more exhausting than fun sometimes. I need some Jimin content stat 😔

Armys hatred of multis wasn’t because they liked other groups it was because multis 9/10 are fake and constantly threw BTS under the bus in defense of whichever other group they stanned. And in the case If they dropped BTS completely, they’d always immediately start to shit talk BTS the moment they unstan. (Even more embarrassing when you’d pull up old tweets to see that they were professing their love for BTS or specific members not even 3 months earlier sometimes) That’s where that term came from and it’s always been fitting. The bulk of these groups in kpop wouldn’t have the fanbases they have now without the fans BTS brought in. Especially 4th gen cause 80% of them are ex armys that’s just the truth. Me personally, I had no issue with anyone unstanning BTS when I was an army if their music started to not be to their taste. That’s understandable. But to unstan then go pick a group like NCT, SKZ or BP and want to talk about quality of music or talent? Yes, I will look at you dumb cause you’re not serious.

I will say that armys do give western multis a lot more leniency because they do hold western acts to a more superior standard than kpop groups. Which is ironic because those same western multis would in turn do the very same thing armys would call kpop multis out on and then they’d even add in a hint of xenophobia and condescension ontop of that too. So it really was all just one mess of a circle.

If PJMS weren’t as productive as they are in supporting Jimin, I’d be 10x more annoyed with them. They do talk about JK a lot but like you said it’s because jjks can’t mind their business. It’s also because how JK operates almost directly correlates to how jimin gets treated so it’s inevitable. Outside of that specific type of name calling (which irks me to no end on all accounts cause the majority of the people who are doing it are grown.) It’s the constant screenshooting and going back and forth that bugs me. Like I get receipt keeping cause I do it. But then you’ll have some pjms who will literally camp on the worst jjk anti accounts like Muri for a screenshot a couple minutes after that man posts some nasty tweet about jimin. And it’s like why? Why is he not blocked for you? What will he or any jimin anti really have to say that would be new or any different from him hurling the same pig insults, SH drags or reposting that same encore vid?

I don’t think the dynamic pjms have with jjks will ever change, so the best thing to do if you’re more on twitter is just stay in your own corner or continue to take breaks. Jimin hasn’t dropped music yet so you’re not really missing anything anyway.

[specialagentartemis]

doing my research data entry, listening to Stars's album No One Is Lost which was (and especially the titular, final song, was) my big Widowtracer music back when I was into Overwatch. And that is reminding me of how much what I liked about the Overwatch characters and lore was stuff that I made up - not even, necessarily, stuff the fandom made up (which was most of it - Overwatch lore was not good) but my own idiosynctratic preferences for ship dynamics.

At least I was into Reaper76 in the same way a lot of other people were, and Reaper/76/Ana the way a few of my other friends were. McHanzo and McGenji were hit-or-miss, McCree (back when he was McCree) & Pharah's sibling relationship prevalent but rarely a focus. But I never really found a lot that satisfied me about Widowmaker/Tracer, because I had such a specific view of what I wanted from them. One I made up because there really was not much there at all.

What I liked about the idea of them was Tracer moving fast staying bright in an attempt to outrun fear and fatalism and collapse by being aggressively optimistic; contrasted against Widowmaker who had accepted it all dully. Tracer desperate to prove that there was something left of Amelie in there, that she could be brought back. That she could be saved. That no one is lost. Proof that things could be okay in the wake of a shakeup in her world order that cast her adrift. That her world could make sense again.

Thinking about it, I'm continuously compelled by characters who are projecting their issues all over each other; especially in the manner of, I feel lost, hopeless, hurt, terrible, irredeemable. I don't believe I have a future, or can ever change, or have a place anymore, or atone for what I did, or can come back from this, or can be loved, or can be saved. But you're in a way worse mess than me, so I'm making it my project to save you, because if I can prove you can... that you can be better, that you can have a future, that you can belong, that you can atone, that you can be loved, that you can be saved... then maybe I can, too. I have to believe that, and that's why I believe in you when you've been written off and have written yourself off. And I'm going to keep reaching out.

And then I discovered Metal Gear Solid and it had a lot of the character dynamics I liked in my made-up headcanon Overwatch actually present in the text. I didn't have to make it up, it was actually there and intentionally and competently written. I was still kind of reading this dynamic into Snake and Meryl (still convinced they were projecting their issues about being loved and being abandoned all over each other in MGS1 and mistaking that for attraction) but a lot of what I liked about Reaper76 and McGenji and McHanzo and stuff was just... there.

And then I got into Wolf 359 where this redemption-by-proxy projection is just straight up textually what's happening between Eiffel and Hilbert. So: getting into fandoms for better written things with what I actually wanted in them is part of the solution here.

But also it was my Widowtracer experience that made me go, I am basically just making up my own character goals and interactions here. Why am I bothering to make it fanwork when it's basically an original story.

I never did put that anywhere. But women desperate to save each other, women desperate to prove they can be saved by saving each other, and women who have the nagging fear that they were wrong doing the evil version of this and trying to seek vindication and absolution through each other do crop up again and again in my imagination. Maybe I should pin that down sometime and give my headcanon Widowtracer the story they deserve.

#Maybe they can be in my clone generation ship that already has characters that started as expies of Naomi Hunter and Emma Emmerich #Two other characters I love who deserved a better story #Mara Fischer and Emmerson Kendrick you will always be famous. To Me. #... desperately trying to believe there's something worth living for is a big generation ship mood. hmmmm #Artemis rambles #midnight thoughts about what I like out of characters and stories #also someone tell me to write up my thoughts about Snake and Meryl in MGS1 because I think it only exists in twitter thread format #Overwatch #sorta