#but on the document so that i would genuinely have no idea until i checked said document :)))))

[sydmarch]

for a couple days i've been wanting to post about the coin operated viewers & my thoughts there but kept getting distracted by other writing until earlier today @frogean asked me about my thoughts on the fishing village wrt; why would evrart gentrify a village full of people who can't afford to live elsewhere when he seems to genuinely care about martinaise, is the thing with the signatures just a ploy to see if harry's trustworthy, etc. & since thoughts on the fishing village tie back into my thoughts on the coin operated viewer i'm just gonna make one big post on both topics.

quick note before i start rambling here: the point of this post is NOT to come to a "evrart's actions w the fishing village good" or "evrart's actions with the fishing village bad" conclusion or to justify said actions. i'm strictly interested in digging into evrart's motivations behind it all & what i imagine was going on in his head while making these decisions.

first - to discuss why evrart involves harry in this whole thing. yeah i do think it's pretty likely that it IS primarily a test of his trustworthiness. I get the feeling that if the signatures were really as central to evrart's plans as he makes them out to be he would NOT leave it to harry to take care of it (even if we assume the most cooperative w evrart version of harry) just wouldn't see him him truly trusting a cop with a task like that ESPECIALLY not when kim's involved and evrart is very obviously aware that kim does not trust him. & harry is very well aware of the possibility that evrart is playing him:

as for why evrart chose this errand specifically as a test for harry, i can't say definitively. maybe this task was chosen because in addition to being a good general test of harry's trustworthiness, evrart wanted to get a real idea of what harry's opinions on this plan are? maybe the signatures really aren't actually important in the grand scheme of things like logic suggests? maybe the signatures are only unimportant because evrart has the letter intercepted? he does explicitly state he's friends with the mail man

so it could very well be the case that if you forge the letter he DOES know about it but doesn't let on that he knows (i feel like it's very likely he knows about the forgery especially, if doom spiral signs it out in the open rather than harry passing the forgery check & doing it in private??). also worth considering where you're mailing it to:

like it's going to evrart's account, not some neutral third party. so any of those things could factor into why he sends harry on this errand. I think it's more likely that if he REALLY just needed the signatures that evrart would've had some of his union guys get on it - although there's also the possibility evrart decided having rcm officer ask for the signatures on his behalf could be advantageous to getting the documents signed. another possibility is that evrart picked up on harry's can opening abilities & thought that having not just an rcm officer but HARRY specifically on the task might be advantageous, in addition to being a good test of his loyalty with those failsafes in place for if harry betrayed him on this one. so yeah i do suspect it WAS at least partly/primarily a test but don't feel like i can say FOR SURE if that's all there is to it & would be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts on this topic.

second - to get into the village situation itself & the coin operated viewer. throwing this screenshot up for some context:

I think it's really interesting how kim disapproves of evrart interfering with this "revitalization project" while also disapproving of evrart's actions with the village (again it all comes back to kim just implicitly distrusting evrart but i find the above especially interesting):

not going to rehash my thoughts on evrart's feelings about/intents for martinaise as a whole here even tho it's relevant to bear in mind but one aspect of that topic i DO think is worth mentioning specifically when it comes to discussing evrart's plans for the fishing village is that (if we take him at face value with the following, & for the purposes of this analysis i'm going to go with that interpretation) yes, evrart IS planning to use the construction noise to push the residents out of the village, but he isn't doing so thoughtlessly or without a plan on where they will end up:

& i DO believe this is his genuine intent because it's in line with his characterization when you consider how he keeps rene, gaston, & leo on the payroll. especially rene where he doesn't just keep him on the payroll where so that he can get by without his pride being wounded too much - he had the guard booth built specifically for rene. it wouldn't make sense for someone who DOES look out for members of his community to this extent to not extend similar consideration to the villagers.

i don't think evrart views his actions with the youth center as gentrification (again i will not be discussing if it actually IS or not - all of this is just my speculation on evrart's own interpretation of things) at least not in the same way that i imagine he viewed the revitalization project in '49. from evrart's perspective he grew up in martinaise, knows everything about the district, has the best interest of the people at heart etc, so why WOULD he allow some design studio to come in and start putting up tourist attractions?

i mean, they're putting up coin operated viewers & that horse statue meanwhile people are living in buildings on the verge of collapse? that kind of revitalization in all likelihood WOULD lead to gentrification and displacement. evrart doesn't want the people living in the village displaced - he wants them properly housed, to have prospects, to live in a district that's more than just a post war ruin. now whether he's actually going about achieving that the right way or not & if the villagers would agree with him here is a whole different topic but yeah.

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL like i said earlier when you asked about this. i have a lot of thoughts on the subject #texticles #de #disco elysium #evrart claire

[no-psi-nan]

Torisai Genie AU

Somehow, Toritsuka gets his grubby little hands on a real life genie bottle populated by one very grumpy Saiki Kusuo.

Naturally Toritsuka immediately tries to wish for porn, sex, etc, but Saiki straight-up refuses to grant those wishes and threatens to deduct a wish if he asks for used panties one more time.

Finally Toritsuka decides to wish for a lot of money instead, which Saiki hands to him in fat stacks of cash. Except of course, any teenager having fat stacks of cash is extremely suspicious and it's not like you can buy a car with that money without a driver's license. Even if Toritsuka tries to buy a house they'll want to check his cash to make sure it's not all stolen and they'll need lots of legal documents etc, and it's such a hassle that he just doesn't end up able to do much more than buy tons of food and porn. Which is great up until he realizes this is the same shit he was doing before ANYWAYS, except now he has a judgy genie following him around and complaining about it.

Toritsuka briefly flirts with the idea of wishing for power, but fails miserably at coming up with a viable wording for it. He's like "what if you make me prime minister" and Saiki's like "you'd get fired and arrested within the week for your perv habits". He's genuinely stumped for a while as to what to ask for his second wish now that sex stuff and money were both off the table.

Finally Toritsuka realizes that he can wish for a girlfriend. Saiki refuses to coerce anyone into it though, so he has to somehow make Toritsuka genuinely attractive to a woman. He ends up having to train Toritsuka to be a little more of a gentleman, to actually wear clothes that flatter him, to throw that horrid headband in the trash, etc. They go out on fake dates, flirt, hold hands, even cuddle on the couch. During the process, Saiki kinda ends up developing his own crush on Toritsuka, to his enormous mortification.

Well, Saiki's training works and Toritsuka manages to land a girlfriend. She's pretty much everything Toritsuka wanted, down to the high libido, and Saiki is very annoyed about it, but there's nothing he can really do.

Instead, Saiki tries to convince Toritsuka to use his third wish to free him from the genie curse. Toritsuka is actually very easily convinced because a) he genuinely can't even think up a third wish to ask for, b) he's trying to NOT think of Saiki while on his hot dates with his new girlfriend but it's impossible with Saiki or his bottle nearby all the time, and also c) he feels kinda bad for Saiki who has to deal with schmucks like him or get shoved back in a bottle.

So Toritsuka wishes for Saiki to be free... but it turns out that there's a protective clause in the genie curse against that exact situation, so it doesn't work at all. Saiki is devastated but at least Toritsuka is still eligible for a third wish so he doesn't have to go back in the bottle.

Still, Saiki's not sure if it's better or worse than having to deal with watching the two lovebirds all the time. He tests his limits and tries to stay as far away from Toritsuka and his bottle as he can, and asks for Toritsuka to leave the bottle in his room and go to the girl's house instead if they're going to be doing stuff.

Except that Toritsuka is actually not enjoying this girlfriend situation as much as he thought he would. She's very forward and brazen, and Toritsuka is kinda intimidated and nervous and uncomfortable about the whole thing. It's very different to see girls do stuff on-screen or in a mag vs in real life, and he keeps thinking of how how hanging out with Saiki felt so much more natural.

It all comes to a head when the girl's making big moves on him and Toritsuka freaks out, and says out loud, "I wish Saiki was here with me!!"

Saiki gets yanked from where he was to Toritsuka's side, which takes him out of the range of the bottle, which short-circuits the curse because it usually grants the third wish and slams the genie back in the bottle simultaneously. Saiki is freed from the curse, and he stares at Toritsuka in shock and awe.

The girl screams, and they both run hurriedly out of her place, holding hands and laughing in disbelief. And when Saiki sweeps Toritsuka into a hug of gratitude, Toritsuka leans in to kiss his mouth. 💜💓

#nopsi's promptsies #<- that means it's free real estate #torisai #saiki x toritsuka #toritsuka reita #saiki kusuo #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #sknpn #the disastrous life of saiki k. #tdlosk #thanks to the bestie for helping me brainstorm this 💜💜💜💜💜

[latelyanobsession]

Crop Tops and Flip Flops

summary the origin story of billy’s lifeguard photo.

warnings none

word count 847

note i’ve squinted at this pretty hard. i think it reads as a x gn!reader you can always get a hold of me if i’ve missed something. but hopefully it’s readable for everyone’s enjoyment.

also i wrote this in a way of billy being kinda camera shy because i can imagine him being yelled at by neil to have to smile in pictures all the time, so the idea of having to act fake or forcibly smile for a photo vs being able to be genuine may make him less fond of having his photo taken.

As always any feedback is much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

It was a mildly warm Saturday afternoon in May and you were on a mission. 

The Hawkins Community Pool would soon be opening for Memorial Day and Ms. Warner asked you to take pictures for the Hawkins High yearbook. 

Mr. Kleckly, the Parks and Rec superintendent also wanted to borrow you and your camera for a modest price of $10 a day for the pool’s annual opening and a few extra afternoons to document a summer of fun on behalf of the city. 

You would be returning to take pictures next weekend and at least another five through the end of July.

You were rather proud of yourself for landing this coveted side hustle. 

Not many high schoolers were given such a privilege, it being previously farmed out to the Hawkins Post.

Pulling into the parking lot you smiled. Summer was about to start, you could hear it already.

They were testing the speakers, The Beach Boys’ Kokomo blaring out from the pool, a man yelling in to the electrical closet to adjust the volume.

Pulling your camera bag from the back seat and your additional lens, you headed to the pool.

Walking in the front gate you walked up to the admissions and concessions window. 

A curly-haired brunette, her hair in a high pony and sunglasses perched atop her head, was sitting on the counter. 

Her legs were crossed as she gossiped with a broad-chested jock pulling water bottles from their packaging.

Looking away from him, she focused her eyes on you, blowing a large bubble of gum until it popped obnoxiously.

“You here for pictures?” she questioned, chewing away.

“Uh... yeah.” you said, shrugging with all your gear.

“Awesome.” she popped another bubble.

Hopping from the counter, she waved for you to follow.

There was a folding table near some lockers that had been set up for you.

“Just let us know when you’re ready.” she walked off to go finish her conversation.

“Thanks!” you called after her.

Placing your bags down, you unpacked and pulled out your camera.

You first took a few test shots of the empty pool. Testing the lighting. Seeking out which angels you preferred best.

Next you pulled out your most reliable lens. Testing more shots.

California Girls was starting to play over the speakers. And you started to bob your head along to the song habitually, as you adjusted the lens.

Bringing the camera back up to your eye, you nearly jumped out of your skin.

“Beach Boys fan?”  a husky voice asked.

He was so close to the camera, your lens was fogging over.

Your hold on it fumbling as you tried to compose yourself. You damn near dropped it.

“N-no. Not really. It’s just catchy.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, steadying your grip on your most prized possession.

He smirked. “Don’t we have a class together?”

Checking your camera for damage, you looked up at him.

“Maybe.”

“Yeah. Spanish... that’s it.” he looked at you smugly.

You weren’t so sure you liked that look.

Securing the strap around your neck, you put the last adjustments on your camera.

“Do you wanna go first?” you asked.

“First?” he questioned.

You gave a small wave with your camera. He shook his head ‘no’.

“–’M sure Heather would love to...” he drawled.

“Ok.”

Turning on your heels you headed back to the entrance to grab the other lifeguards.

As he predicted. Heather indeed loved to.

You actually lied and told her you were running out of film so that you would be able to move on to the others.

All the while you saw your classmate hanging in the background.

Lighting up a cigarette, watching as the others posed candidly for you.

You couldn’t recall his name but it was becoming clearer to you...

You hadn’t seen many pictures of him for the yearbook layout either.

Did he not like having his picture taken?

He seemed like a pretty outgoing guy.

Soon enough he was the only remaining person in need of photos.

“Your turn...” you smiled softly.

He took one last drag from his cigarette before ashing it out on the trash can lid.

Nervously pulling at the cutout neckline of his crop top, he awkwardly looked at you.

“Where ya want me?”  he asked.

“How bout over there?” you pointed to the lifeguard tower.

He nodded, heading over.

“Do I have to smile?” he truly seemed out of his element.

You laughed.

“Not if you don’t want to. This isn’t a cover shoot for Vogue.”

He laughed lightly, becoming more relaxed.

“Do whatever you want. Be yourself.” you reasoned, lifting the camera.

Dropping back his shoulders, resting an arm on the chair he lifted his head high and stared forward.

“Ya ready?” you asked.

“Yup.”

Click click. Click click.

“Do you want to take any others?” you asked simply.

“Nah I’m good.” he stated, walking away.

“Hey...” you slipped the strap from your neck to your shoulder, “remind me your name.”

Pulling his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose he smirked.

“It’s Billy.”

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things oneshot #stranger things drabble #billy hargrove #stranger things x reader #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you #gn!reader #stranger things x gn reader #billy hargrove x gn!reader #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove oneshot #billy hargrove headcanon #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x y/n

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SLEEP ALREADY BUT I HAD LITTLE IDEAS TO WRITE FOR VALENTINE'S AND EVEN THOUGH THIS IS NOT VALENTINE'S SPECIFIC AT ALL— I— Claude.............. I don't know what this is I've just been thinking about Claude and I like Judith and Im starting new subjects so I feel like Im holding onto a lot of new information at the moment and trying to organise it and it all came to this

Idk how this is im eepy + no brain only Claude + english is not my first language here you go

Helios closed the exit to the library the best they could manage. The pile of books and documents they were carrying needed both of their hands for it to not lose balance, so they took a leap of faith when freeing one to properly close the door behind them. The corridors of that high tower seemed empty. They breathed in before resuming their way to their bedroom.

They never expected that there would be so much to learn in the middle of a war— the books between their arms kept knowledge of magic, history, geography and strategy between their pages; lovely topics to indulge in, although they would rather do so far away from the pressure of a conflict like that. But if Claude mentioned they would help, then they would go through them with him, no questions asked.

Helios focused on their own steps, the sound of their boots against the rock floor sucking all their attention. So, when Claude appeared from the other side of the corner, it took them a bit to realise he was there. And that he was walking their way; stepping forward with such a happy expression that their heart wondered if he was actually approaching them instead of the library.

Their feet stopped. Claude was looking only at them.

"Hey," he greeted with a genuine smile. "Oh, whoah, you really found them all?"

"Of course," Helios shrugged their shoulders, as if stating the obvious. "You said they were here, so I only had to look around."

Claude chuckled. He glanced at the pile of books, but his eyes went back to Helios with a fond look. Then, as if enjoying the silence that he himself had caused, slowly got closer until he cradled Helios' face in his hands. His thumbs caressing their olive skin —which only got warmer under his touch—, their curious eyes staring at him. He wished he didn't have those gloves on.

And it seemed like the pile of books didn't matter much to him when he took a step closer to kiss Helios' cheek. And the short kiss was followed by another, and then another— and the receiver of all that affection couldn't do anything but clumsily hold onto the books a bit tighter.

There was no context, no explanation. Claude kissed their face however he pleased to and, when he stopped for a moment, he chuckled over their cheek and Helios thought their heart would melt there and then, right on top of the library's books.

Out of the blue, someone suddenly cleared their throat. Claude stopped in place, his eyes closing as soon as he heard that intruder's voice: "Well, boy, when you said you needed to check something important, I didn't expect it to be that soldier you told me about."

Claude gave a defeated smile to the floor, taking a moment before turning to her. "Judith, no teasing, please?"

Helios unconsciously tried to hide behind their friend. That was The Hero of Daphnel herself, and she had caught them in such a vulnerable moment that they couldn't help but feel... exposed, somehow, in front of such a respectful figure. Yet Claude seemed to chat with her with the same closeness as usual.

He caressed their arm as he mouthed that they would meet later, then turned and walked towards Judith. In an attempt to take her out of there as soon as possible, Claude tried to rest a hand on her back to softly push her forward as they walked, but she jokingly smacked it and quickened her pace with a laugh.

When she turned at the corner, Judith smiled at Helios.

The books suddenly felt heavier in their hands.

#words from me to you #f/o community #self ship community #self shipping #self ship #selfship #safeship #safeshipping

[cyberbirb-arts]

Accompanying piece to a Gency ficlet under the cut! :D

Angela would tirelessly dedicate a good portion of her week to monitor Genji's enhancements, double-checking his oxygen levels and considering new filtration systems for his biotic fluids. She then worried about the adjustments to his cyborg body and new pain medications, second-guessing her own decisions one too many times.

But Genji always reassured Angela that everything was fine, and that if there were any issues he'd tell her at once. He did not like seeing her so stressed and anxious.

He fondly remembers their late night conversations, sharing a dish of her favorite apple pie and cups of stale coffee. He'd listen to Angela ramble for hours about the same subject, boredom never crossing his mind. How much sleep she was getting exactly, however...

Genji found her too often collapsed at her desk; glasses somehow tossed on the floor, papers and documents scattered across, and her tablet dangerously hanging off the edge. He quietly retrieved her readers and caught the tablet in time. He carefully placed a cushion under her cheek and draped a small blanket over her shoulders. It's the least Genji could do, he didn't want to disturb her workspace.

He believed that she always had wings, even without her field suit. But angels needed their rest, too.

"Take care of your own needs as you do for others," he told her. "Please don't leave yourself out."

"I know," she smiled genuinely. "I appreciate you looking out for me."

That evening she was wide awake and the moonlight complimented her pale blonde hair so beautifully, it seemed like tiny golden halos were escaping the loose ponytail. Genji called her ethereal to himself, even as she apologized about her smudged eyeliner and tired, weary smile – all evidence of long hours and few breaks. And the extra coffee probably wasn't the greatest idea. So, her picture-taking skills were a bit clumsy with shaking fingers until Genji held up the other end of the phone.

She waved at him through the screen and started the countdown for the photo timer, but Genji noticed some pie crumbs on her chin.

"Hold still, Angela...", he whispered, using the softest part of his pinky finger to swipe them away.

She laughed, "Quite the professional I am."

"...The best one I know."

She met his gaze, and suddenly Genji wished he didn't plan his return trip to Nepal to contemplate consciousness; a place so far away from the one he could never call home anymore, bearing witness to the great blanket of stars enveloping the snow upon the mountains.

Because at that moment, he fell in love with the entire universe in her eyes.

He entertained the idea briefly, and in his mind he saw Angela's worried expression as she'd approach him, unpacking his bag. Genji would say nothing but tuck a loose piece of her bang behind an ear – the one that would always fall unceremoniously in front of her right eye – he'd selfishly wanted to do that.

Maybe softly kiss her cheek; a quiet thank you for everything.

He'd have to write an extensive apology to Zenyatta, for the desire to stay a little longer with the amazing woman who saved his life...

But of course, he could not stay.

His spiritual path beckoned him to the Shambali once more.

And her hands were full already as an engineer and field medic for Overwatch.

As Genji finally caught himself staring at her after a bit too long, the both of them reluctantly glanced back at the phone screen and their bashful smiles.

Angela silently cradled his gentle hand in hers and nearly gave it a kiss – but she stopped herself.

The camera timer was about to run out.

"Make sure to write me a letter, Genji..."

No one could smile like her.

"I will not forget, Angela."

As beautiful as the Moon.

"...Danke schön."

#overwatch #genji shimada #angela ziegler #mercy #gency #fanart #overwatch fanfiction #medibang #cyberbirb-arts

[sophieinwonderland]

So are you going to respond to any of the SN stuff? You did actually make everyone's life hell over the accusations of one person, blew it completely out of proportion and caused a significant amount of distress for many people for many, many months, broke apart a friend group by pushing it when no one was even bothering you, until someone was forced to respond, actively wished distress on a group of people that weren't actually doing anything, and some of your followers may benefit from the space but would be scared to check it out because of the things you said

Someone ended up in the hospital because of you, and it's all come out as... really not that big of a deal? Outright false in a lot of cases

I kind of agree with the whispers going around, you should address and apologize

Anti endos aren't the only ones capable of mistakes but at least you've been given your apologies

Now what about the harm you did? Do they not deserve apologies?

I am sorry for the harm this drama caused, and for any allegations that were truly false.

I also appreciate finally getting to hear the other side after months of silence. (I don't know what you mean about apologies that were given to me though. I haven't seen any. But unlike some people, I don't obsessively monitor every blog I have blocked. I'm not looking for apologies either, I just genuinely have no idea what you're talking about.)

I don't fully know what to believe though. I don't know what parts of their claims are misrepresentations. Either unintentional through biased lenses or through intentionally trying to make themselves look better. I found Survivor's Network document with their responses here if anyone wants to read their side of the story.

But I would advise people reading to keep in mind that these are biased interpretations of events. For example, let's see their accusations against me in November to try to "add context" for the admin's gross misgendering posts against me.

These are quite the claims about me. Let's analyze them for a moment. With links and images from that period that I believe these claims are referring to!

Alters are hallucinations???

I talked a lot about hallucinations and connections with dissociative disorders in November, including this post:

It's absolutely wild how someone read me saying "headmates aren't hallucinations" and twisted this into "alters are hallucinations."

Anti-endos are transmeds???

This, I assume, is a reference to an ask about parallels between the two.

This is not literally saying that anti-endos are also transmeds.

But it is making a comparison between the two. And one that, frankly, I feel the admin's misgendering post only further reinforced as true.

Instructions on how to dissociate???

This claim, so far as I can tell, was likely a response to me sharing a link to a switching guide.

How horrible and evil of me to provide a guide to help systems switch! /s 🙄

Saying Transgender Mental Health is "Written" by the APA???

Again, this is wrong.

The topic was about the book being PUBLISHED by the APA. Because certain people (who happened to be mods of the Survivors' Network) were arguing it's misinformation to say that a book Published by APA Publishing is published by the APA.

I also didn't claim this book "proved endogenic plurality."

Did I make fun of the talking point? Yeah. As you can see below. I won't deny it and I don't regret it. It's a ridiculous talking point that deserved to be ridiculed.

You can see my full, drawn-out conversation here.

While the difference between "published" and "written" might seem petty, it's literally what this whole conversation was about. No, the APA didn't write it themselves, but their publishing division reviewed and published it, which does make it a credible academic source.

This is an objective fact and it's ridiculous that people argued so hard against it.

Taking Things With a Health Grain of Salt

I am sure that some parts of their accounts of what happened in their server are true.

But I have no way of knowing what is or isn't.

What I do know is that, just comparing their interpretations of my own posts to the actual reality shows a willingness to stretch and manipulate the truth in order to make themselves look better and their enemies worse.

So the question that I have to ask is "how much can I believe what these people who have lied about me so flagrantly are saying about themselves and others in this exact same document?"

And it's not just contradictions with my own posts...

Contradictions In Expedience of Fixing the Name In The Dox

One part of the document claims that the doxing was an accident. That they user had taken the name of a fictional introjected character as their legal name, and the mods had no way of knowing. Completely fair and understandable mistake.

But... This is their presentation of events.

The instant it was brought to our attention (via another callout post) that we had unintentionally doxxed the user, we immediately changed the document to no longer have the user’s legal name. It was completely unintentional on the part of moderators, as can be attested by the alleged victims in the allegations.

The instant it was brought to their attention, they claim.

Let's compare that to the report of the doxxed user.

I want to stress that, after I found out about the callout I DMed Spike informing him that it was my legal name. He didn't respond. Half an hour later I sent a message in the Book Club server about it, which he deleted, and banned me. That is two separate occasions I told him. Three hours later somebody else told him to remove my legal name from the document, and Spike said he would, and claimed to have had no idea it was my legal name. This was hours after I had told him it was my legal name (twice). From then, it took twelve hours for the callout to have my legal name removed.

This is... quite the huge discrepancy in their stories. And the document doesn't address this. It doesn't mention the two times the user allegedly tried to contact Spike. It doesn't mention the 12 hours after the other person allegedly informed Spike and Spike said he would remove the name. It only says they "instantly" fixed it after a callout post.

@/AWiltedRoseConfession's Response

In addition to these points, I would also recommend reading the response from the ones responsible for many of the more recent allegations for further context.

As for Followers "Benefiting" from that Server

In the above post, @/awiltedroseconfession describes being at their best and healthiest before entering the server. After joining, their health deteriorated due to the community there, and they've managed to make a rebound since leaving. They're obviously just one system, but the space clearly was harmful for them.

And I feel I need to talk about the system you referenced who was hospitalized.

We used to be mutuals. Not close friends or anything. We didn't talk much. I don't know much about their personal lives.

But I know towards the end of last year, they started hanging around members of the Survivors' Network. At least by March, they were members. I don't know when they joined exactly.

Between March and July, in a server surrounded by people making constant hate posts about the me, their syscourse blog seemed to develop a near-obsession. Between reblogs of my posts, callouts and other posts mentioning me, my name was mentioned over 90 times in that period. These included posts calling me dangerous, racist, transphobic, telling me to get banned, etc. And that's not including vague posts that avoided mentioning my name or the callout posts on their positivity blog that spread the zoophilia rumors.

And in all that time, I said nothing. I didn't respond to anything they said about me and their condition only seemed to worsen.

And when I finally did mention them, what seemed to upset them so much was...

I mentioned their name in a few posts. (Again, after literal months of them talking about me by name.)

I said their allegations of racism against another tulpa system was an "attack," which they denied. (I think most people would agree that yes, that's an attack.)

I made a post about how I felt calling themselves "pro-tulpa, anti-tulpa terminology" while calling themselves "syscourse unaligned" was contradictory (you can't be pro-tulpa and endo-neutral/unaligned) and an excuse to make anti-tulpa posts in pro-tulpa tags even after tulpamancers asked them to stop.

I responded to an ask saying, essentially that I didn't know who was responsible for reporting a banned tulpa system and it could have been anyone. Though I did mention that it was possible they could have done it given their recent interactions and telling me to get banned in the past, I pointed out that it could have been others as well and I didn't know.

I pointed out that they shouldn't tag someone who had them blocked because that made it easy for the person who blocked them to be harassed and falsely reported. (They responded to this post by tagging me. SMH.)

I had no way of knowing the effect these comments would have on someone who had spent months hurling far worse insults at me while I didn't interact with them at all.

I should also mention that I had blocked them by this point, so the only reason they saw these posts was because a "friend" showed them.

Looking back, I can't help but wonder how much their server impacted this.

Even in the document itself, it acknowledges that the mockery of me was frequent in that space and that they're largely fine with it and don't see mockery as a problem. And while they say that it's okay because it's confined to the server, it confirms other reports from multiple members that this sort of behavior was encouraged by the SN.

It's not hard to see how months in this space with a friendgroup who is encouraging this sort of harmful behavior could result in someone's growing obsession and hatred with my blog that continued even during periods where I was blocked or was blocking them. Especially when the SN is taking posts out of context to further demonize me with lies as demonstrated above.

Can you tell me that that you think that was a healthy space for them? I won't deny that my few posts about that system (which were only a fraction as severe as the things they had said about me in the months prior) might have been the final push... but their blog shows a spiral of them becoming angrier and more toxic over months leading up to that, likely stoked by so-called friends spreading the same lies about me I just debunked. And who ultimately sent them the links to my posts which caused their breakdown.

If this is what the Survivors' Network does to people... I would sincerely hope my posts have discouraged people from joining.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I don't know what the truth is about what happened in that server and never will.

I know the "truth" of the people who were hurt by the server. I know the "truth" of the Survivors' Network mods as they state it. But what's actually true is something I'll never know.

As much as I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt, I can't possibly trust the words of people who have lied about me, twisted my words and attacked me over and over again for nearly two years. People who are actively lying about me RIGHT NOW in this same document.

There are some things I think the accusers may have misrepresented or misunderstood. But there are others I think the Survivors' Network has twisted and lied about to make the accusers look bad and defend themselves, just as they did with my public own posts.

And I do want to stress that these are public. If they're this willing to lie about things I can easily verify and disprove, what would they say about things I can't?

I can't parse through their lies and find where the actual truth is.

I do believe them when they say they've actually been hurt by this. And for that, I'm willing to stop talking about the unproven allegations about the server going forward. But their willingness to lie about me even in this document calls into question much of their accounts.

(But I still might want to make one more post addressing the statements from the admin about me going after "made-up oppression points..." because... WOW!)

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #system discourse #survivors network #survivors' network #survivor's network

[ruki--mukami]

“Mukami-san! Mukami-san! Wait for a minute!”

Shouted Haru, rushing towards the grey haired male walking in the hallways. It's afterschool, and he seems to be going back home. When he finally managed to approach the male, he pants while resting against a wall. He's never good at excessive physical activities, especially since he had to find him all over the school.

“The literature teacher... asked me to give you this. You are Ruki Mukami, right?”, resting in between his words, he took a deep breath and exhaled it. It's embarrassing to be in such state when meeting a new person. When he thinks he's finally calmed, he speaks up again.

“I'm sorry, I was afraid I'd miss you. Here, these are the paperworks that the literature teacher told me to give you. They said it's the books they want to ask of you.... I wasn't provided with more information but seems like they trust you with this”

It's dawn and the sun is coming up. Haru's now messy hair and the sweat formed from running too much is glistening in the light. He straightened himself and with a smile ーa deceiving smileー he extended his hand to the ravenette.

“Nice to meet you, you're an admirable student in this school. My name's Haruー Haru Hideki. Let's get alongー if that won't be a bother”

(( It got a bit longer than expected- and I didn't even added his train of thought! Hope this is okay for a starter. As for the literature, I have absolutely no idea what it is about! So don't question me XD ))

"The very same," he said in confirmation of his name. "Many thanks for delivering this to me. I didn't anticipate the teachers to have this paperwork ready for me so soon, much less entrust it to another classmate for the sake of giving it to me, but I genuinely appreciate it."

After checking the papers for himself, the Vampire confirmed that they were, indeed, the modules for the French poetry the class studied during this time of the year. Being well-versed in authors such as Baudelaire, the teachers deemed Ruki a suitable candidate for the aforementioned documents delivered to him. Feigning a half-smile of his own, he shot Haru a visage easily mistaken as grateful.

"There's really nothing to apologize for. You clearly did your best catching up to me, even if it seems to have drained most of your energy by now. If anything, I should be sorry for putting you through such an impromptu exercise."

From the sweat on his brow to his disheveled hair, the human before him donned the image of the perfect prey. Exhausted, out of breath, vulnerable. A knowing smirk curled at the corners of Ruki's lips upon the realization. Reciprocating the polite gesture, the Vampire didn't hesitate to extend his own arm as well, giving Haru's hand a firm shake. Not hard enough to pull a shriek from him, yet still strong enough to hint at the supernaturality lurking within.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Haru. Of course we can get along—you were generous enough to go out of your way to help me, after all. Say, I've only seen you around the halls up until now, but truth told, I actually don't know too much about you aside from that. Would you like to grab a bite together now that school has ended? I could certainly spare some time for someone like you."

#diabolik lovers #ruki mukami #mukami ruki #ask #rp #diabolik lovers rp #haru hideki #yourlocaltea #(( ahaha no worries!! )) #(( it's fine i can make up what kind of literature it is as we go HAHA )) #(( omg i love this deception vs deception right now 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ ))

[ftm-radio]

how do you know for sure that you’re trans?

i’m struggling so much, my biggest fear is being wrong… and i know i’m only eighteen and i’ve got a lot of time to figure things out, but without other trans people to talk to shit gets hard!

oh, this is a tough question. dunno if I can answer it well, but I'll give it a go.

that fear of "what if I'm wrong?" is so daunting. I know i've had that fear. hell, I'm way more secure in my transness now, but that specific anxiety still wakes up to whisper in my ear now and again.

before i say anything else, I want to put forth a snippet from an @/uncanny-tranny post: "Being trans is an identity, not a diagnosis. There is no slip of paper that can tell you if you're "trans enough" or even if you are or aren't trans." [ full post here ]

At first glance that's just.. massively unhelpful, yeah? Being told that no one can tell you if you're trans is frustrating as all hell when that's exactly what you're trying to figure out. But when you can get past the anxiety and the desperate 'please just give me a straight answer so I can KNOW' feelings that so many of us have probably experienced, you can get this kind of.. freedom and relief.

You are the only person in the world who can answer the question of your transness. That means no one can take it away from you (or force it upon you) and you don't have to fit any stereotypes to really, really be trans. If you say you're trans, you're trans, and that's that until/unless you say otherwise.

Now, back to your original question. How do you know for sure that you're trans? How do you figure it out?

in classic ftm-radio fashion, I will be putting the rest of this under a cut because I don't know how to say things with less words!! but i do try to spare you from that when you're just tryna scroll by, lol

I feel like I say this a lot, but I genuinely mean it: write about it. grab your notebook, journal, diary, loose-leaf paper, digital document, notes app, whatever, and write. have a private little conversation with yourself, and ask yourself questions. Even—no, especially—the questions you might want to avoid. Confront them, don't bury them, because then they'll just grow and make more trouble for you later on.

Try to take your time with this. You don't have to do all of this in one go, you can break it up in chunks if you want. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. This exercise is just for you, no one else, so whatever you write will not be judged and you don't have to be scared or ashamed of what you feel or whatever conclusions you may come to.

I actually did this journaling exercise myself yesterday! when that anxiety I mentioned before was causing a bit of a ruckus in my brain, this introspection really helped me out. I can tell you some of the questions I asked myself, but you're in no way obligated to use these specific questions and you're free to come up with your own. the goal is to understand how/what you're feeling, so any question that can help answer that is worth asking.

Alright. All that being said, here are some of the questions that I used to explore my gender feelings:

Why did I start questioning my gender in the first place? / What is it that made me think I could be trans?

hey, there had to be something to get this all going. whatever it is, it could be really helpful to go back and reflect on it.

Am I happy with how socially transitioning has changed my life? / Do I want to try socially transitioning?

if the first version of the question applies to you, it could be a good way to check in with yourself and see how you're feeling in the middle of a transition. if you aren't at that point yet, do you want to be? does the idea of socially transitioning appeal to you?

Do I want to medically transition/do HRT? Why?

not every trans person wants/is able to medically transition! saying yes or no doesn't immediately determine if you are cis or trans!

What changes would I want from HRT?

is there one specific change you want? do you want all the possible changes? why do you want them? is hrt the only way to get them?

Are there things HRT would do that I don't want?

you can't really cherry-pick what hormone therapy does or doesn't do for you. there could be some things that dont sound like something you want. maybe it's just a couple things, maybe it's a pretty long list.

Is my desire to transition rooted in internalized fatphobia and/or other body image issues?

I definitely don't think it's *wrong* to want to change your appearance for any reason, but before committing to more permanent changes it could be worthwhile (and possibly healthier for you) to examine why you want to change things about yourself.

Is my desire to transition fueled by internalized misogyny and/or similar biases regarding gender?

i think this is a similar question to the last one in terms of being tough to answer, because it might be something you don't want to admit to yourself, let alone other people. (which is why I will say again that these questions/answers are for you and you don't have to share them with other people!) confronting the flawed parts of yourself is hard, but just having those flaws doesnt make you a bad, irredeemable person. you might have some things you need to work on, and if you can acknowledge that, you can take steps to learn and grow.

Do I (or other people/our society) have biases about [gender] that make me scared to/not want to present/live/come out as that gender?

Sorry if this is phrased kind of weirdly, this is a question i thought of while typing all this. Speaking from my own experiences, I've had some times where the whole "men suck, all men are bad" mentality has caused me to feel some level of guilt or shame for being a trans man, and I'm sure I'm not alone there. this question can apply to all genders in any direction, and it doesn't have to be extreme. like it could be as simple as (for example) "I don't want to be a man because then I'll have to like sports" or "I don't want to be androgynous so im not really nonbinary" or whatever.

Are there aspects of being a trans person that concern/scare me? / Could I be using denial to protect myself from the downsides of being transgender?

being trans can be difficult! it can lead to a lot of changes, and change can be scary. depending on where you are and the people in your community, it can also be dangerous. it's unfair and sucky and i hate that it's true, but it is, and it's something that has to be acknowledged and considered.

ooookay! that's kind of a lot, and there could be many other questions worth exploring, but I think this is plenty to start with. I have been staring at my phone off and on for....... too many hours today so I'm gonna try and finish up soon. But!!!! before I go there is one last thing I want to say.

To the anon who sent this ask, and everyone else (including myself!) who ever feels scared that they may be wrong about being trans, and especially to people who do find that they aren't trans after all: It's okay if we're wrong.

It is okay if we are wrong.

It's okay! Being unsure and making a mistake is pretty dang normal! We are all complex beings capable of growth and change, and our understandings of identity and who we are can change too. And that's not a bad thing! Thinking you are trans and later realizing that you are not doesn't make you a bad person any more than thinking you're cis and then realizing you're actually trans does. Simply exploring your identity doesn't harm anyone, and we need to give everyone that room to explore and mess around without the terror of being wrong.

okay, gonna say goodbye for real now. anon, sorry for the wait & I hope this can help you! everybody else who got to this point, I hope you could also get something good out of this. 💛

if anybody wants to share some thoughts/opinions on anything ive written here, you're welcome to as long as you aren't an ass about it. no hate or gatekeeping or anything of the sort, please. ✌🏻

#not tagging @uncanny bc i dont wanna bother him lol but that's a good blog to follow i think 💛 #just like in general #also how cohesive is this post? 🤔 95% of it was written today so idk if the few remaining older bits merge super well #and also im sorry if it sounds kinda preachy sometimes? idk if it does but i worry about sounding like that :/ #ftm radio #listener call in #ask #anon #trans #transgender #questioning #gender identity #nonbinary #ftm #mtf

[prismaticpichu]

OKAY prompts!

How bout Zack finding out about an embarrassing hobby that Seph enjoys? We need wholesome content!

Oml what an adorable idea!!! <3

(This is so much longer than it needs to be. Sorrryy!)

x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x

On Pins and Needles

Zack had woken up at 6:00 in the morning.

This was a miracle, astronomical, a day where the stars aligned in such a way that the young SOLDIER's cocoon of dreams splintered earlier than usual. Two hours earlier, to be exact.

He tried counting sheep, he tried reciting the alphabet backwards, he tried naming all breakfast foods... but whatever spirit wanted him up was very adamant in doing so. It seemed better to start the day vitalized rather than zombie-hobbling out of bed, so after a small internal grapple, Zack did just that.

And good thing he did! Now he was waltzing down the corridor, blue eyes aglow and charcoal hair dancing with his frivolous steps. A smile bloomed on the SOLDIER's lips; Seph would be so proud to see him kicking early.

The poor guy rose every morning when dawn smeared the sky, sifting through files and reports until Zack joined him hours later. Sure, Seph had the stamina of a mechanical bull with a plugged in wire, but after months of working with the General, it was clear that some of his energy actually did bleed out.

Not today it wouldn't! Zack grasped the doorknob, scintillating like silver in the artificial light, and turned it aside.

“Goooood morning, bud! You got an early package to...!"

His voice trailed off like rising smoke as, with widening eyes, Zack took in the sight before him. Seph was there alright, and he was islanded in paperwork... though there was another object in the sea: not a pen, not a stapler, not even polish for Masamune, but a spool. A spool. Lustrous black thread was twined around the device, sandwiched between two beige plates like hamburger buns; a single black thread snaked around the desk, weaving through keyboard keys, tarring papers, until finally, rivering into the cascade of string that was spilling down a pair of scissored needles.

Sephiroth's entire body stiffened. His laser focus was shattered in those unfortunate seconds, his head whipping towards the door where he just stared, paralyzed, like a viper had crunched into his thigh.
Zack shut the door behind him, slow and hesitant. Suddenly it felt like his presence was very unwanted.

"Whatcha doing, Seph?" he blinked, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

Sephiroth set down the needles, burying them under his documents in hopes Zack would mistake them for a mirage—or at least neglect their existence. "Work," he answered dryly, schooling his features as the warrior straightened from his slouched position.

Ok, Zack may have thought the sun was a planet, or put tin foil in the microwave, but he wasn't amnesic. "Seepph," the brunet smirked, starting towards his friend's desk. "Whatcha dooooing?"

“Why are you up?" Sephiroth dodged the question, glossing over with his natural authority.

"Wasn't tired!" Zack chirped, then folded his arms over the workspace. His visage melted into genuine curiosity. "I didn't know you like to knit, Seph!"

Zack never saw Seph's cheeks flush so coral—actually, he never saw Seph's cheeks flush coral. Must be a full moon.

Busted, Seph tried veiling it all with his bangs, duckling his head so that the mercury tresses would spill over. "Hmph..." he grunted. "I am surprised you had the strength to resist sleeping in.”

“C'mon, Seph." Zack’s amusement was ebbing, replaced by nothing but warm and earnest sincerity. Seph was being reclusive again, like a silvery glass statue… and in this fragile state, Zack knew better than to laugh. Just a little push against the shell. "I won't judge, bud. Promise.”

He knew that much. Sephiroth closed his eyes, letting the sincerity of Zack's words sink in; it was like his body fighting off allergies, his immune system battling and antagonizing emotions that meant no harm, going through security, checking for doubts. For loop holes.

But then he remembered that this was Zack.

"...I've been doing it for almost a year now," Sephiroth admitted quietly. "I wanted something else.”

In Angeal and Genesis's time, it became apparent that his two old companions weren't as strictly devoted to the company as he was. Their spare time didn't consist of swordwork, and for them, the borders between practice and combat weren't vague. He wasn't quite sure how long it took Sephiroth to realize, but the man eventually came to an epiphany: Angeal and Genesis had lives outside of ShinRa. Genesis enjoyed swordplay and poetry; Angeal enjoyed swordplay and cooking.

And he, General Sephiroth, thought it appropriate to knit. He always had exceptional dexterity, and being able to create something that was his, from his own two hands...? No barking scientists. No directions. Tools wielded with his own hands at his own pace.

Him, General Sephiroth.

Him, General Sephiroth…

“Seph?" Zack blinked. "You okay?"

“What am I doing…?” Sephiroth massaged the bridge of his nose, his words riding on a tired sigh. Feline pupils traveled to the mass of inky yarn, boneless and freckled with knots, undefined in shape. Time for nothing. A waste. Unfitting and unnecessary.

Zack also stared at the ball of obsidian, indistinct and full of potential, snarled up with trial and error, loose, but intact all the same. He gaze returned to Seph, a tender heart twisting at the man’s conflicted expression.

"Hey." Zack lowered to his friend's line of sight, offering a gentle smile. "I think it's amazing! Sure it's a little messy, but that's okay! You put so much time into it, and you can't stop now!"

Sephiroth lifted his chin, the emerald eyes rippling with a vulnerability that both broke and healed Zack's heart. Seph felt safe around him. It was all he could ever ask for. His grin broadened as he scooped up Seph's project, ticklish strings filtering through his fingers. "I'm so glad you have a hobby, Seph."

Sephiroth canted his head, almost confused. "...You are?"

“Of course!" Zack beamed. "I'm always bugging ya to get out of the office."

“I'm still in the office."

“You know what I mean!" Zack draped the yarn around his neck, toying with the loose end. "The office or the training room or anything! Sure you're General Sephiroth, ShinRa's rough-tough star, but you're also a person! And every person has hobbies. Keeps them healthy in the head." Zack rapped his knuckles against his skull, flashing a derpy smile; Seph shook his head, clearly trying to resist chuckling. Score!

He sobered then, just a bit, meeting his friend’s gaze. “And Seph,” Zack started, “you know you don’t ever have to hide things from me… right?” There was an undertone of plea laced in his voice, as if it was another barrier the boy needed to climb in their friendship. A newly discovered one.

It was a wall Sephiroth had made himself, unintentional, and now he would shatter it. “….Of course,” Sephiroth inclined his head. Starting now, of course.

Zack’s smile rejuvenated, more blissful than ever. He continued to wrap the fabric around his collar like a little leash, though thankfully, Seph didn’t make the parallel. “Hey, this thing makes a neat scarf y'know! Just needs a bit more, er… scarfing!”

Sephiroth stifled another chuckle, so unsurprised. He watched his best friend flaunt his knitting as if it was prized jewelry, the azure eyes beaming through the scarf and into his own. Blue eyes that pooled with a rainbow of emotions: joy, pride, gratitude… acceptance. Sephiroth supposed he could only smile back, because the message was clear.

Zack would always love him, no matter what he enjoyed. He always did.

“Well then,” Sephiroth smirked. “I will try my best to make it into a scarf for you."

#ffvii #fanfic #sephiroth #puppy zack #zack fair #friendsforever #my writing #practice

[itwoodbeprefect]

ao3 wrapped: 7, 16, 20, 28? (i'm intrigued about the general correlation between the last two)

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

i mean, even without checking the numbers, if the answer isn’t bruce springsteen someone needs to demand a recount.

[wildly clicking across ao3 interlude]

okay! alright! so, going just by posted works from this year, everyone else individually: 1. bruce springsteen: 5. i remember almost nothing from high school math, but i think i still know which one is the bigger number. (and it could potentially still go up - there’s a lot of december left, and my “huge list of potential titles for fic” document has well an truly been hijacked.)

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

fdjkf. if we’re talking all time it’s Fluff (95) (which is separate from Fluff and Humor (20), which at some point i stopped using because it seemed to make more sense to tag them separately), which, yeah, obviously. if we’re talking only this year... Fluff (17). a very general tag, so no big surprise, but it is. perhaps. indicative of a vibe. and i love that for me, and for everyone who’s reading my fic, actually.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

so. a thing about me is that i reread my own work a lot, both in the process of writing (a lot of days “writing” means rereading a bunch of WIPs and going 🤞 that i’ll come up with more words for any of them, which might not even happen, and then next time i’ll just have to reread the things i’ve already reread) and also definitely after it’s been posted, and i do this enough that i genuinely couldn’t say what the answer here is. narrowing it down to things posted this year, it would probably be something short posted early on because that’s just. there’s been more time. to reread it more. so maybe I’d swallow the moon and the stars (To follow the beat of your heart), because at the time of posting i’d read it so many times i really couldn’t tell if it was good or kind of an awkward mess of mixed metaphors and run-on sentences, and then there were a lot of really sweet comments that had me rereading it again with those in mind, trying to see what someone else might be seeing, and since then i’ve reread it a few more times just because it’s nice and i like it, or even because i want to figure out why i like it (what makes it tick? how do i do that again? is there anything that doesn’t hit, and could i do better today?). (but also that’s the process with a lot of my fic, so again, no idea, really.)

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

potentially The stars above were bright and new (I pulled them down for you)? it’s short, it’s sweet, it’s just a liiittle bittersweet, it has some very cool imagery in it and it’s very starsky and hutch, and it’s kind of the quintessential Thing I Write First when i get into a fandom, and that i can’t do it again. the i-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you-talk (marriage proposal) while doing the dishes fic has been done now, even though i really like that concept and gravitate towards it very easily, and theoretically i could have a great month just writing that same thing five more times.

but actually, also, i have to mention A pretty pig deal (You’re guinea love her, Hutch) here, because it’s one of the most I’m Writing This For Me, Specifically things possible, and i always forget how much i like that last paragraph until i read it and it makes me feel stuff.

-

ao3 wrapped! send me numbers (if you want)! ✨

#thank you for playing!! 🎉 #ask #*

[melloaloe]

SP Success Story~~~

I just want to document this and let y’all see my journey with the law of assumption

So the first thing/major thing I wanted to manifest was my sp. We were sort of friends at the beginning of this past school year. Long dramatic story short, I was struggling with jealousy and had a really hard time believing that he would like me. There was a lot of hot and cold behavior throughout the school year and I genuinely thought that he didn’t like me. He never straight up rejected me, but I never asked him. I wanted him to be the one to ask me, that way I knew that this was because of the law.

During the school year, it was really the only thing I could ever focus on, so affirming was sort of easy for me. I dabbled a bit in a lot of different ‘techniques’, such as scripting, affirmations, visualizing, rampage,telephone technique, etc. It wasn’t until we finally got to April, and I had the grand idea to start listening to subliminals again.

This time I did a little more research into subliminals and made a simple playlist consisting of two boosters, beginning and end, and the actual sp subliminal. If anyone is curious or wants to know specifically what I listened to, go check out moza morph, I really like her subliminals.

Anyways, after I started listening to these subliminals, mainly on my way to school and throughout the night, I really started to see a shift in my reality regarding my SP. He started becoming obsessed with me and we got pretty close. Many of the things that I had scripted were coming true; talking everyday, can’t take his eyes off of me, loves talking to me, I’m his favorite person, constantly texting me, etc. Finally, May 5th was the day that he confessed to me that he liked me and we’ve been together since. He is literally the most perfect boyfriend and my manifestation played out better than expected. We’ve also had many discussions about the school year and what we thought of each other before the relationship and he swears to me that he’s liked me for a long time now and that he was just intimidated by me. I don’t know if that was revision but it really seemed like it. It’s like we had different versions of the past. But idc because I have my boyfriend and we love each other very very much❤️

So what are some tips or key take aways from this?

BE CONFIDENT!!! Okay I had just gotten over my depression and self hatred prior to discovering the law, so I didn’t necessarily struggle with self concept. I would hype myself up every morning and remind my self of how amazing I was. Somewhere deep inside, you just have to know it. Know that you are perfect. Know that you are going to manifest your desire, regardless of anything.

If you like to script, do thissss. Every night before going to bed (or whenever honestly, I just like to do it before I go to sleep so I can think about it as I drift off), write at least a page about how happy you are to have your manifestation. It’s already done, you have it. By writing it down, you are just accepting that it’s true and affirming that it’s true. Almost every night, I would just write about how happy my boyfriend makes me and how sweet and loving he is. I would write in detail so that I could really feel the emotions. Sometimes I would have moments when I would just smile uncontrollably because I was so happy that he was mine. I accepted it and just had to trust and know that it would happen eventually, and it did!

Lastly, it’s okay to cry. It’s totally okay to just cry and be upset. It’s not going to ruin your manifestation. Now if you do it frequently, then yeah, you’ll fall back into your old story. But every once in awhile, things get hard and you just need to let all of these feelings out. Whenever I had a bad day or I felt like it just wasn’t working, I’d affirm or rampage, and then move on to something else like homework or personal projects. I always tried to make sure I never left off on a bad note. It sucks and sometimes it’s not what you want to do, and obviously you don’t have to, but just affirming for what you want while you feel horrible is going to help build in your mind your new reality. Also, if you are really worried about ruining your manifestation, just use and believe the affirmation, I always get what I want no matter what.

If you have any questions or want more tips and tricks, I gotchu. I’ll have more success stories on the way 😉

#law of assumption #loa #manifesation #manifesting #affirmations #success story

[talenlee]

The Ranma 1/2 Subreddit is Repeating History

When you get older you start to see cycles. Things that are new and horrifying to you, later in your life, you can recontextualise those things compared to other new things. I saw the Soviet Union collapse and I saw 9/11 happen within ten years of one another, and uh, that prepared me for basically nothing. Bad example. Oh the financial crash of 2007, which led to a financial crash of, uh, you know what maybe I picked some bad examples. But you know one thing that’s cyclical in a way that can be appreciated and not a huge bummer?

Fandoms.

Platforms come and go and when platforms are convenient to build on, fandoms will form and reform on platforms. Old cliques and ideas be fled and new societies will bloom around the same core texts and they will always differ, they’ll always have their own varieties and peculiarities, but some things, some things will endure.

Like Ranma ½ discourse.

I first arrived on the internet fandom spaces through newsgroups. Newgroups were a purely text medium that could produce huge amounts of information because it eschewed a lot of what you consider standardised formatting, and access to images and file transfer (and yes Decay, I know you could do file transfer on USENET but it wasn’t convenient), but the point was that if you wanted a content pipe in the late 90s, websites were slow and the real avalanche of media, the real Infinite Scroll, was the newsgroup. And the newsgroup had its drama and its threads and its trends and one thing it didn’t have a lot of was institutional memory.

You know how on tumblr, you can pin a post to the top of your feed so anyone who checks in on you can see the thing you think is most important as a reference document? Or you can link to things? Yeah, USENET  didn’t really have that. It didn’t have nothing, there were FAQs and links and people would save text files on online storage spaces like Crosswinds (four whole meg of free ad-less storage), but that was routing around it, and there were people – genuinely – mad that the solution to this lack of memory involved booting up a second application, because,

And I swear this is an opinion I saw,

‘There’s no good internet browser yet.’

Anyway, and one of those mega-fandoms that existed across multiple newsgroups was Ranma ½, in the spread of spaces with names like rec.arts.anime.fandom and rec.arts.anime.misc and to this day I have no idea what the difference between those two is. These spaces would talk about all kinds of anime of the day, with oldies and not-goodies and all sorts of different conversations, but also, overwhelmingly, any given conversation could wind up at talking about Ranma ½. And of that community, a number of them were straight boys, and still are!

There are conversations, in this time, that we had. Then we had them again. Then we had them again. Over time they got refined through repetition. That refinement discarded old points, routed through optimal ways to explain them until by the time I stopped checking USENET, there are some points which we handled in a very ‘oh yeah, the time knife’ way, which was incomprehensible to newcomers.

And then I fell out and I understand that those social groups moved on to other platforms. I assume that when twitter, when tumblr, when all of those ilk started to make their own spaces, then inevitably, whatever Ranma ½ fandom exited formed there and found its own patterns. I know that fanfiction websites would fight each other over Ranma ½ and there are places with different trends. You might imagine that fanfiction sites aren’t a place for discussion, but they are places with incentive systems, so you can get praise or comments on your fanfiction, there’s a way the audience can express the character of a place. Basically, if one place has a bunch of Ranma ½ fanfiction that’s all about Ryouga’s cooking troubles, that’s probably because there were more people with a drive to make that there, and felt they could make it there, and people could not adequately discourage it through their feedback options.

There are some ideas in Ranma ½ that are now, thanks to this early period of my life, kind of codified and obvious. Like just for example:

Akane is probably straight, given she expresses minimal interest in women and her interest is mostly isolated to Ranma

Ranma isn’t the best fighter in the series; he’s actually more often than not, a loser, with about ten recurring characters who clean his clock consistently

The anime constantly makes up new stories that can be wildly contradictory and shouldn’t be considered any kind of truth, while the manga tends to be more consistent

Akane hitting Ranma is pretty low key and largely only ever in response to meaningful infringements on her wellbeing

If you think Ranma’s curse seems really easy and manageable, you should look up the idea of informed consent gender care

Are these things true?

Probably. Maybe. I haven’t reread Ranma ½ in years! I want to – I actually planned to do a reread or something, like a podcast or video series? I don’t know. But the point is, there’s, in my mind, this sort of settled conversations from years and years of history and of these old arguments are done.

Now imagine how it feels to look at the Ranma ½ subreddit, and see as people who were born in this century are learning about Ranma ½ and asking the question:

“Hey, why didn’t Ranma just do this to make his curse more manageable?”

And some of the things are kind of obviously time-based. I don’t mean people are saying ‘why don’t they just use smartphones?’ but also things like ‘why do people react to a crossdresser like this?’ where the answer is oh my god you have no idea how homophobic Japan was in the 80s. And sometimes it’s new spins on old conversations, like how Ranma’s gender is masc, and so whether or not his body complies with that shape doesn’t change anything, and that means Akane is definitely straight, as long as Ranma considers himself masc even in his femme body. Because that’s a thing that really happens.

The discourse around Ranma ½ is wonderful and silly in hindsight because of how much of it wound up accidentally including a lot of really meaningful history and cultural context, just as a byproduct of who it attracted. If you liked the manga in the 90s, you were downloading fan translations or scans, you were probably having to contextualise text, or buy imported goods. A body of people invested in Ranma ½ were obviously trans people who hadn’t yet necessarily learned about or brought that full knowledge to bear, and so as they learned about it, they started integrating that knowledge into this conversation, which meant that a lot of us who weren’t reading Gender Trouble were getting a filtered version of it through conversations about whether or not it was gay to want to see Herb’s tits.

And now, it’s happening all over again, but on Reddit, with reddit’s strange dynamics, and also, there are weirdo ancient internet folks like me, going: We doing this? Are we doing this? We are doing this.

What the heck.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Media

[dgcatanisiri]

So latest on the medical thing I'd rather not think about.

It's actually leaning into the positive side of things right now - in talking with hospice, they basically seemed to be looking at things with an eye of having Mom discontinue everything, her meds and her therapy, and just... effectively wait until the end.

And the response that myself, my aunt, and my mother had was on the '...why should we do that, we're not going to do that' sort.

Which effectively is more in the line of NOT placing her on hospice for the time being.

And, in my personal estimation of things, another part of the problem was consistently the way the nurses in the wing she had been getting treatment in were handling her care. Because she got moved from the standard in-patient wing to the rehab wing, and the nurse there immediately noted a pressure wound that hadn't been documented and said as much to the nurse from the previous wing, who responded with basically "oh, yeah, I saw that, I just hadn't gotten around to writing it down." This conversation when she was taken in to the rehab wing at around seven-ish, and that nurse had been on duty for mom since the afternoon.

There was also the fact that my aunt, recognizing that mom was getting loopy like she tends to when having a UTI, checked her catheter bag and saw that it was brown-ish, which tends to be a sign, and brought up that it seemed like those nurses hadn't been paying it much attention.

Like, where my head's at now with the hospital and the diagnosis is that the hospital staff in the standard overnight wing, for whatever reason - because, look, I'm not going to condemn anyone in the medical field that hard right now, considering that they certainly would know that we are actually still in a pandemic, but the world around us wants to act like we're not, I'm not looking to attribute to malice what can be explained by exhaustion - were honestly just looking to take the easy and quick diagnosis and solution, especially considering how my mother basically had been going through a revolving door there.

But when we actually have her working with rehab therapists and such, she IS actually getting better. She is motivated by goals, and they weren't giving her actual goals as motivation there.

The most we're looking with that involves hospice is the chaplain, mostly because having the chaplain come and talk to her is a way of getting her to have someone COME TO SEE HER - that's been one of the biggest issues she's had honestly ever, the majority of people who come to the house are here for my aunt, not for her. But when she's had people come to see her in the hospital, she is active and responsive, so we're okay with having someone come in and speak with her, interact with her in a way she doesn't normally get.

Basically, she's DEFINITELY interested in telling the doctors who were framing things with her as potentially being short-term hospice care that they clearly had no idea what they were talking about.

Like, to be clear, on my aunt and my own side of things, we're game to agree with that, but we're also still going to work to do the important things about the ultimate end of life stuff. We just are standing down from red alert at this point, because we are GENUINELY seeing improvement, not a decline.

#dg gets personal #dg has mother issues

[words-dead-to-the-outer-world]

hi?

I don't know what I'm writing, let alone why I'm writing it. Why did I open my laptop? I should be working on other things. Studying for my upcoming philosophy exam, doing homework assignments that are due before thanksgiving, working on my final paper for philosophy that’s due in a month and I have nothing but an outline and a bullshit summary of that assigned reading. Whatever. I’m journaling. I’m journaling like I'm talking to a therapist I don’t even have anymore. The fucking waitlist’s are frustrating. I wish that the world wasn’t so fucked up and humans were strong enough to not need the help, it’s all understaffed and underpaid anyways. God, I hate humanity. We’re so fucked up, why do I waste my time? Why do i waste my time on dumb little writing prompts for my college’s creative writing club when really I should be doing what I’m doing now. I should be giving someone words to read to fill the time that they would otherwise spend wallowing and diving into the depths of their minds thinking about intrusive thoughts like whether or not to bite someone. I hate this. I hate the world, I hate my brain, I hate my ADHD, I hate my body for being disabled and therefore unable to walk long distances through all types of terrain without falling over. I wish I was like you, or, as I'm the one writing this and therefore the “you” I speak of, I wish I was like any outside reader. I wish I could withstand sitting in a classroom or an office without wanting to bolt out the door and crawl into bed and never have to face the world again. I wish I could walk upright with straight knees and perfect posture like my parents have always yelled at me to do. But alas, I cannot. Hell, I can’t even open my eyes in the morning most days. I want to stop, I want it all to go away. My English professor once made students who showed up to class one day write an attendance check assignment that was two pages about distraction, according to Saint Augustine’s ideas in his book Confessions of Saint Augustine. Now, I was distracted the whole way through writing that assignment. I was in my parent’s house with the TV on and the family dog whining in my ear. I couldn’t focus on the screen in front of me for more than a millisecond without something or someone pulling my thoughts in another direction. I’m surprised. I’m writing this now without looking away. I’m looking at the keyboard and computer screen and typing. I’m not focused on the noise in the kitchen of my older brother listening to a YouTube video. I’m not focused on my dog who is laying next to my bed on a pillow that fell on the floor. I’m not focused on misspelling words or grammar mistakes. I’m just writing. I’m beating my ADHD brain because I can’t focus in class and I'm writing words that mean nothing to anyone and only I can read. Only I can read it, so it can be as stupid as it needs to be. What the fuck? Why is this working? Why is working on something not even remotely close to being concerned with school and studying and is typing without thinking working its way into being something that I genuinely enjoy? Maybe I should publish a book where I just type the random shit in my head without worrying about typing mistakes or grammatical errors until right before the publishing date. Fuck grammar police, man. I used to be one myself, someone who constantly corrects people’s grammar. Being an English major does that to you, you become a bot so obsessed with knowledge and words on a page that you can’t help but let yourself correct people’s speech. Anyways, these are my thoughts. This is who I am whenever I decide to write in this document. It might turn into bullet points, it might remain paragraphs and blocks of text like this, who knows. Fuck the rules, man.

#dead-to-the-outer-world #words #streamsofunconsciousthought #writeblr #welcome to hell

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Nobusuke Kishi wrote a letter to President Reagan to get Moon released from jail; he was in for perjury, document forgery and tax evasion in 1984.

The case, which stemmed from Moon’s failure to pay taxes on the interest earned on more than $1.7 million, involved a “massive” and systematic effort to defraud the government and obstruct justice, including the manufacturing and backdating of documents, the government told the court.

Sun Myung Moon was in jail from July 20, 1984 - August 20, 1985 (he may have been released in July 1985)

_____________

New York Times, October 2, 2021

Mrs. Tytell was an expert witness for the federal government in 1982 in the tax-evasion case against the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the head of the Unification Church. By analyzing changes in his handwriting — particularly how his printed “S” had turned cursive — she testified that he signed checks in 1974, not in 1973 as his lawyers had said. At another point, Mrs. Tytell used paper-mill records and her knowledge of watermarks to prove that a piece of paper had not been produced until after the date written on it.

“She was an exceptional witness,” Martin Flumenbaum, a prosecutor in the case, said in a phone interview. “She dominated the courtroom. I remember the jury being enthralled by her testimony.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/02/nyregion/pearl-tytell-dead.html

_____________________________________

Nobusuke Kishi

November 26, 1984

President Ronald Reagan The White House Washington, D.C.

My dear Mr President,

Snow glistens around the summit of Mt. Fuji in Japan, telling us of the arrival of the real winter season. How is your land at this time of the year? I am very happy to hear that you are doing extremely well and seem to be in good health.

I would like [to] offer you my words of congratulation on the overwhelming of the earlier presidential election from the bottom of my heart. It was a sweeping victory, rare in the entire history of the United States of America.

I consider that the reasons for your phenomenal victory are as follows. Firstly, I believe your personal charm and grace is a large factor. Then, there is the wonderful support the American people have demonstrated toward your public messages; in other words, your philosophy, religious belief, and firm political ideals. Furthermore, your stance to part with the New Deal policies of the Democratic Party, ultimately derived from Marxism, which have been apparent since the time of President F. D. Roosevelt.

My interpretation is that the vast majority of the American people supported and agreed with you wholeheartedly on these points. I would also predict that the history of the 21st century will evolve around these ideas you have set forth in your messages.

page two

Today, I would like make a request to you, Mr. President. This request is about a person whom I believe you may be acquainted with, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. Rev. Moon is now under unjust confinement. With your cooperation, I would like to ask that he be released by all means from his unfair imprisonment as soon as possible.

This November, [19-22], the Seventh World Media Conference was held in Tokyo, and together with former Ambassador Douglas MacArthur II, I had the opportunity to serve as Honorary Chairman. Approximately [700] journalists from 87 countries in the world participated in the Conference, which was a great success. On the final day, present Ambassador to Japan, Honorable Michael Mansfield, also attended the farewell banquet to congratulate and encourage the group.

Rev. Moon is the founder of this Conference. My understanding of Rev. Moon is that he is a genuine man, staking his life on promoting the ideals of freedom and correcting communism. His existence is, and will be in the future, a rare, precious and indispensable one for the maintenance of freedom and democracy. I respectfully ask for your good decision on this case so that proper steps may be taken.

I entrust this letter to one of my most reliable friends, Mr. Kagehisa Toyama. Mr Toyama is the owner of R. F. Radio Japan, a broadcasting system. He is one of the few media men in Japan who has shown full understanding and support for the philosophy behind your policies from the past. In the Seventh Media Conference, Mr Toyama presented a talk entitled “Solidarity of Freedom,” which was very well received by guests from foreign countries as well.

If you would look through the printed speech of Mr. Toyama when you have the time, he would be most delighted.

Accompanying Mr. Toyama this time as an interpreter is Mr. Cappy Harada, a friend of Judge William P. Clark, Jr. I hope you will receive them although this must be an extremely busy time for you. I thank you deeply for your attention on this matter.

This concludes my request for you today, Mr President. We are both advancing in our years, so let us take care of ourselves and spend our days in good spirits.

With warmest regards, I am

Most sincerely yours,

Nobusuke Kishi

.

___________________________________

Abe’s assassination, Nobusuke Kishi, the LDP, Japanese media, the FFWPU and Tetsuya Yamagami’s life

Nobusuke Kishi was known as a monster, responsible for the deaths of thousands, and as a friend of Sun Myung Moon

Lawyers Network presentation giving the important context behind the assassination of Shinzo Abe

Former Japanese Prime Minister Nobusuke Kishi was Honorary Chairman at Moon’s 1984 World Media Conference

Allen Tate Wood interviewed: as a top UC leader in the 1960s he was a moderator at WACL in 1970 in Tokyo

#Nobusuke Kishi #Sun Myung Moon #Hak Ja Han

[minteyeddevil]

May I ask for a hc of an MC that’s good at hiding things. For example like a bag of coins, they’ll hide it somewhere so creative no one finds it. I really like your writing and I’m especially curious how this will go for Mammon

(I sincerely hope I do this justice for you! Also thanks for your patience on me getting to this, and for enjoying my writing!)

Lucifer:

Lucifer has a specific pen he enjoys using when signing school related documents; it may sounds rather silly, but even he is allowed an oddity

For the life of him, he can not seem to find the damn thing; he is frustrated enough that he has practically torn apart his study looking for it

MC comes to visit him, and notices the state of the room, asking what was going on

When he mentions the pen, they simply perk up and walk over towards his book shelf, picks up a neglected book and opens it, finding the pen tucked away in the crevasse of its bindings

"You had mentioned Mammon was trying to steal it and pawn it off, so I hid it for you! Sorry, it must have slipped my mind to tell you where it was!"

They hand him his pen, and he watches them walk out of his study with a dumbfounded look on his face; he will definitely be having a talk with them about this sneakiness later

Mammon:

This demon always makes jokes about how he can practically smell when Grimm is near him, and has a tendency to take a lot of it from MC, so they decided to hide it

The next time he sneaks into their room, looking for any 'spare' money they may have, he is rather annoyed he can't find anything

This happens several times over, to the point that he genuinely gets annoyed with them! (Rude, but he is the Avatar of Greed after all)

When he confronts them about it, how they being so sneaky with their first man and denying him his dues for watching out for them, they simply smirk at him, laughing out loud

"Guess your nose isn't as good as you originally, thought, huh?"

The step up to the tree at the end of their bed and climb it half way up, shifting a stone from the wall and reveal a nook they made, where a sack of Grimm was being hidden; a rather big one for that matter

Mammon stares in awe; but quickly turns on them for being so sneaky, though urges them to teach him their ways of hiding things so well

Leviathan:

He is slowly losing his mind. That has to be it. That's why he can't find it!

He has torn apart his room looking for this boxed figurine, having finally made the perfect spot for it, and he just can't find it!

Chances are Mammon took and pawned it off; at least that what he keeps repeating in his mind, as he makes the mess in his room bigger and bigger

He is practically in tears when MC knocks on his door, and he complains to them about his conundrum

"Oh, the Ruri-Chan Party Panic figure? Yeah, I know where it is, hang on!"

They step out of his room into the hall and he follows them, as they open what looks to be a broom closet; at the back of the closet is apparently a panel that can be moved

And low and behold, there is his figurine, fine and dandy!

He wraps himself around MC sobbing a thank you, but also reminds himself not to mention needing to hide things around them

Satan:

Satan knows how messy his room is with all the books piled high; but there is a specific method to this madness of his

So when he can't find a specific book of curses, he is silently fuming, standing in the middle of his room, just glaring

MC casually walks by, seeing his door open, and peaks in, asking him what was up

He grumbles to them about wanting to find his book; he needs it...for reasons

MC steps into his room and walks up his spiral staircase, carefully maneuvering around the steady piles until they come to a specific book shelf, and reach for the top of it, the book hidden snugly between the very top shelf the ceiling of his room

His mouth hangs open as MC comes back down the stairs, holding the book; didn't he check that bookcase!? How in the world...?

He shakes his head and dismisses the thought, and holds his hand out expectantly, only for MC to walk right by him

"Nope. You're gonna try to cause more trouble for Lucifer with this. I hid it so you couldn't find it. Gonna hide it in my room now."

Asmodeus:

He is throwing the slightest fit in his room, unable to find a very expensive perfume he was going to use for the shoot he had set up today

He was going to have a centerfold piece done in the Majolish centric magazine; but how was he going to be at his best without his precious perfume!?

The knock at his door pulls him from his woes and he is delighted to see MC; they always comfort him in his time of need

He explains his problem and they make a small "Oh!" sound, before heading into his bathroom

Hidden behind one of his a vanities, a little hole in the wall, and inside said hole is his precious perfume bottle!

MC explains they had found it one day when borrowing his bath, and figured it would be a good place to hide his expensive perfume; they knew how important it was so they wanted to keep it safe

As thankful as Asmo was that they had found it for him, he asked them to double check with him the next time they decide to hide something for him

Beelzebub:

He remembers asking MC to hold a package of cream puffs for him; but why is he having so much trouble finding them in their room?

He doesn't want to just throw their things all over the room; but, he really wants his puffs...

He decides to wait on their bed for them to get home, and questions them about where they have them hidden the moment they walk in

"Surprised you couldn't just smell them, Beel," they tease, before walking over to the dress in the corner of their room, moving the picture frame and showing a hole in the wall where the cream puffs were hidden

"Found this little spot the other day and figured it would work well to hide a lot of things. Sorry about keeping them from you."

He happily takes his puffs and starts munching on them, saying it's 'no big deal' around a mouthful, handing them a puff as well

Belphegor:

MC was the one seeking out this demon, finding him snoozing on the couch on the common room

His head was buried in his cow styled pillow, sleeping soundly until MC shook him gently awake

They apologized for bothering him, but asked if they could see his pillow for a moment, which he agreed to, though was genuinely confused

They unzipped the side of the pillow, and reached inside of it, pulling out a golden credit card, making Belphie sit up quickly and stare

"I hide Goldie in your pillow so Mammon wouldn't find her. But he's getting ideas so I need to find another hiding spot! Sorry to bother you, Belphie!"

They then take off from the room, leaving him to stare at his pillow dumbstruck, wondering just how in all of the Devildom did they get that credit card in his pillow without him ever noticing

#obey me #shall we date obey me #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #request #headcanon