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shingia · 2 years

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not many people would be willing to be used as a way to prove eren jaeger wrong. but jean kirstein would, as long as he gets something out of it...

CHAPTER 4 : HELPING HAND

↳ jean kirstein x f!reader

↳ series masterlist

↳ cw: swearing, one mention of throwing up, jean being awkward || wc: ~4k (i got a little carried away)

it was almost 9pm, and the sun had set a while ago. alone in the bathroom, the only background noise was your friends happily chattering in the living room.

it felt homey. niccolo, connie and mikasa playing cards together, armin probably reading something for the literary theory class he had excitedly told you about during dinner, sasha talking with her mother on the phone, walking in circles in the kitchen... homey was the perfect word.

but like all things, the peacefulness eventually came to an end.

by the time eren was back from practice, you had joined the rest of the group in the living room. you checked your watch: 9 o’clock. you would have to get going in a few minutes.

everyone had bought it when, yesterday, you had told them that a friend from your strategic communication class had asked you to tutor them. why wouldn’t they have? you were doing fairly well in that class, it was no secret. and besides, sasha and connie had skipped it so many times that they couldn’t possibly find out that you were lying.

it was a solid lie. much more believable than the actual truth, in fact.

because even you had to admit that “jean asked me to tutor him” sounded very unlikely, not to mention suspicious. but it was nonetheless the truth.

you owed jean. it was part of the deal. however, the more time passed, the more you began to think that maybe ‘tutoring’ was just a double-entendre you had never heard of, which was nerve-wracking. and the fact that he needed help for a “human relations assignment” only contributed to that feeling. you didn’t know jean well enough to know how big he was on metaphors…

“how was practice?” mikasa asked eren when he plopped down on the couch, careful not to sit on armin’s papers. next to her, niccolo was drawing his third draw 4 of the game.

“pretty good” he nodded, taking a sip from the water bottle he had in hand. but when he put it down, his gaze slowly shifted from mikasa to you: “although someone in the team was a dick the entire time”.

niccolo slammed his draw 4 on the table, making both of you laugh at connie’s despair. eren cleared his throat:

“…i’m talking about jean”

you heaved an annoyed sigh, “no shit sherlock?!”, and kept going as you turned around to face him. “you know, i miss when we used to talk about other things. everything didn’t have to be related to him before saturday”.

“oh come on, cut him some slack” connie intervened, visibly giving up on his ongoing uno game, “maybe he’s just jealous. maybe he wanted to be the one having some bathroom fun with jean…”

on the right half of the couch, armin let out a snort, immediately covering his face with his book. but mikasa and you had the misfortune to make eye contact with him, making you mirror his guilty laugh. connie looked proud, there was nothing like a group of people laughing at his jokes.

“yeah alright, make fun of me all you want” eren fired back, “at least i didn’t hook up with someone just to prove my friend wrong”

everyone fell silent. except maybe for connie’s surprised ‘oh’. it wasn’t the first time eren was referring to saturday night. far from it. and it had only been 48 hours.

“you’re the one being a dick right now” you replied dryly. “that was your fucking idea! you just can’t stand the fact that, technically, you lost your bet to jean”

in the kitchen, you spotted sasha nodding at your words. even she had admitted that eren was being a sore loser yesterday.

“yeah, that’s right… whatever helps you sleep...” eren rolled his eyes, and that made your blood boil, “i’m just saying. you could have done better”.

another ‘oh’ left connie’s mouth. you knew he lived for your bickering with eren. and so was armin, secretly.

“has it not occurred to you that maybe i hooked up with him because i also wanted to?”, you asked, thinking that you could’ve been asking this question to yourself as well.

you could have ended the conversation here. you probably should have. but you didn’t.

“in fact...”, you stood up and glanced at the clock next to the tv: “i lied about tonight. i’m actually going to his place”.

armin put his book down with a little gasp, echoed by connie and niccolo, whose uno game was definitely over. “i knew it...” you heard connie whisper to mikasa, but she obviously knew he was bluffing.

well, the truth was out now. they would have found out eventually, you tried to reassure yourself. without another word, you put on your coat and grabbed your bag.

eren scoffed: “you’re lying”, but you caught him giving the others a quick look - as if waiting for them to confirm your words.

you swung your bag over your shoulder and headed towards the front door. “whatever helps you sleep, jaeger” you smiled at him before grabbing the apple that sasha was handing you - “you can’t leave without dessert!”.

and just like that, you left the apartment. the last thing you saw being sasha’s proud thumbs up right before you closed the door behind you.

—————

marco bodt was a nice guy - “sometimes even too nice” according to connie - which is why words could not express how relieved you felt when you realized that he was the roommate jean had briefly told you about.

“he’s still in the shower. but he should be done in a few minutes” marco informed you after closing the door. he invited you to take a seat in the living room, which was about as sophisticated as yours: a black couch, a wooden coffee table, and a tv that wasn’t much larger than a laptop. the layout of the apartment overall was very similar to yours - nothing surprising considering you were all living in the same neighborhood.

“no problem” you replied, hoping that he would be better at small talk than you were. behind the wall, you could hear the sound of water flowing through the pipework. their bathroom must’ve been right next to the living room, just like yours.

you gave a quick look around you, desperately trying to find something to talk about. but based on the way marco began to frantically gather the couple of papers scattered on the coffee table, you guessed that he had probably mistaken that for a judgmental look.

“i’m really sorry for the mess” he awkwardly scratched his neck, which made your eyes widen. the mess? these were undoubtedly the words of someone who had never shared an apartment with sasha braus...

"oh don’t worry! it’s far much worse at my place, to be honest” you answered, and the sound of water in the pipework stopped exactly as you ended your sentence. you acted like you hadn’t noticed, and kept on initiating some kind of small talk with marco. you were really trying your hardest to be chill about this situation.

however, you couldn’t just ignore what happened next.

jean could not be blamed for getting out of his bathroom without a shirt on, it was his apartment after all. but you could blame him for standing in the corridor for so long without looking up from his phone, therefore not noticing your presence until marco cleared his throat.

startled, jean snapped his head up in your direction. his hair looked darker than saturday, but after giving it a more attentive look, you noticed it was just soaking wet.

“oh. hi. i’m uh... i’m gonna- i’m gonna grab a shirt. and then we can... i’ll be right back” he spluttered, before hurrying into his bedroom, muttering a barely audible curse under his breath.

there were already dozens of reasons why you knew tonight would be awkward: the fact that it you hadn’t seen each other since saturday, that this apartment was foreign ground to you, that - all things considered - you realized you didn’t really know him that well... but somehow, jean had managed to create another one in a matter of seconds.

at least it was pleasant to watch, you thought to yourself, but immediately stopped when he got out of his bedroom, now wearing a slightly wrinkled grey t-shirt.

“i- uh… i think my bedroom might be the best place to work” he offered, visibly unsure of every word he was saying, “…or we could just stay in the living room if you’d prefer!”.

amused, you got up from the couch “bedroom is fine”. one thing was sure, saturday night jean and monday night jean were two radically different people.

you were surprised to notice that jean’s bedroom was tidier than yours - although not tidier than armin’s - and much more decorated than his living room or kitchen, with posters of various movies and bands covering most of the white walls. on his shelves, some trinkets, books, boxes and hardback notebooks were making it look like an ordered mess.

like marco had previously done in the living room, he hurried towards his bed to gather the documents and highlighters scattered on it, before inviting you to sit down. he chose to sit at his desk, on a black chair similar to the one connie had in his.

in fact, noticing that similarity made you realize that most of his shelves, his nightstand and his desk lamp were actually the exact same as connie’s. odd coincidence, you first thought. but quickly remembered that time when, a few months ago, connie had placed an order at ikea and accidentally purchased everything twice. you had always wondered what he had done with his extra articles, there was your answer.

sat on the bed, and surrounded by a surprising amount of pillows, you kept both feet on the floor. it was obvious you weren’t comfortable enough to make yourself at home.

“so... tell me more about this assignment” you spoke up, after realizing jean was not planning to. perhaps awkward silences did not bother him, but right now, it was bothering you: “what’s it about?”

at that moment, it still wasn’t clear to you whether or not you were here to actually tutor him or not. but he cleared any doubt on a potential double-entendre when he slammed a gigantic stack of books on his desk.

“have a look”, he handed you a document already filled with dozens of crossing-outs, like he had already spent so much time on it he couldn’t even look at it anymore.

you skimmed the document, and jean nervously bounced his leg up and down. maybe he had been wrong to think that you could help him. maybe he had been dumb for asking you to come over. what if you would’ve preferred to study at the library? what if you would’ve preferred not to help at all? what if he was making you feel cornered just because of that stupid bet? what if you regretted saturday? and what if-

“you were right, this is right up my alley” you handed the document back to him with a satisfied smile, “i have like, twenty pages of notes on business communication. we can get this done in an hour”.

fascinated. that was the most adequate emotion to describe the look in jean’s eyes when he watched you take your laptop out of your bag. something about the way you had, in just one quick glance, found how to answer something he had been struggling with for days now was making him feel extraordinarily lucky to have poured that gin in your eye last weekend.

so he listened, carefully and for many minutes, docilely writing down all the information you were giving him on the tricky aspects of interpersonal communications: “you make it look so easy, it’s frustrating”.

by the time you were done with the outline of his essay, his hair had completely dried. you tried not to look at him too much, because no matter how productive you two were being when it came to his assignment, you couldn’t ignore the slight awkwardness that remained. but you did steal a few glances, and noticed his hair looked fluffier than saturday. you liked it better that way, but obviously kept that to yourself.

the introduction was finished first. and apparently, this called for a little snack break. you hadn’t forgotten about sasha’s apple and only asked for a glass of water, which he immediately went to get for you in the kitchen.

left alone in his bedroom, you checked the top right corner of your laptop: the screen displayed 10:04pm. right on schedule, you thought, estimating that you would probably be back home around 11. you knew sasha would still be up, waiting for you in the kitchen and ready to begin a thorough questioning about tonight’s events.

the screen was still displaying 10:04 when jean came back from the kitchen, holding a glass of water and a cereal bar for himself.

you had kicked your shoes off a while ago, when you really got down to business, and were sitting cross-legged against his wall - careful not to fold the corner of any poster: you might’ve been unaware of it, but this had greatly contributed to the gradual disappearance of your awkwardness.

“i thought about something while you were out...” you told him after thanking him for the water. it was obvious, considering that his back was turned on his laptop, that this could be considered a little study break; and initiating a conversation that wasn’t related to business or communications in any way sounded like a good way to spend it. “you know who could’ve helped you much more than me?”

jean furrowed his brows, inviting you to tell him more.

“eren”, you replied very seriously.

a genuine laugh escaped his lips, making yours automatically stretch in a grin. “i’m dead serious!” you exclaimed, “he had a similar assignment for his elective a few months ago and he nailed it!”.

“maybe” he shrugged, “but you seem to forget that he literally cannot stand to be around me”. he was right, obviously. but that last sentence made it sound like he personally had no problem with eren whatsoever. and you found that hard to believe.

“true. and he can’t stand hearing about you either” you told him, willingly aiming the conversation towards your latest conversation with eren. you had been replaying it in your mind ever since you had left the apartment, and needed to talk about it with someone, “he wasn’t pleased at all when i told him i was coming over at your place tonight”.

jean didn’t look surprised to hear that, “well, he was already being an asshole at practice...”.

most of their teammates had not attended saturday’s party, but porco had been quick to get everyone up do date, even their coach, who was glad to finally understand why two of his youngest players were so insufferable today. tired of their bickering, he had them run 7 laps each.

“careful there” you shot him a glare, “i’m allowed to insult him. you’re not.”

jean rolled his eyes, muttering something similar to an apology. but you knew nothing prevented him from doing it behind your back anyways.

“so basically”, he cleared his throat, visibly trying to change the subject: “now they all think we're like... sex friends or something”.

that pill was hard to swallow. because he was undeniably right. nobody would believe you if you told them that you had spent the evening working on business communication. but, more than embarrassment, his statement made you feel a strong sense of guilt. maybe you shouldn't have been so evasive when jean was just as involved as you were.

you remained silent, but jean only had to pay attention to the look in your eyes to understand what was going on inside your head: "i mean, i don't really care about what they think. as long as you don't".

hearing his own words, he began to fear maybe they weren't those you wanted to hear. but he couldn't end his sentence here. you looked like you were expecting something else.

"i wish i had a deep explanation to give you…" he started with a slightly embarrassed chuckle, "like 'if you tell him you lied then he'll never trust you again'. but i'm gonna be honest: i just think it's fun that the guy i hate is convinced i hooked up with his best friend".

the atmosphere immediately relaxed. and making you laugh was a big enough accomplishment for jean to keep speaking:

"but if you wanna tell him the truth, go ahead. i just think it'd be stupid to do it now. at least do it in two weeks, when the bet’s time limit is over"

that was actually a very clever idea. terribly unfair, but nonetheless clever. and you appreciated that he didn't even try to lie about his own motivations in keeping the lie going: a little bit of help for his communication classes, and the simple pleasure of annoying eren. it could have been much more difficult.

obviously, jean had thought about an easy way to avoid this situation: if that lie were to become the truth, then the problem would be solved. but it didn't matter what kind of person he had appeared to be on saturday night, the regular him would never have the guts to even suggest it.

you had thought about it as well, as early as when you were rubbing connie's back while he was throwing up in your bathroom after the party. but the fear of looking like the biggest idiot on earth if he refused was more than enough to not try anything.

“alright... let’s keep things like that for a big longer then” you stated, fiddling with one of his pillows that you had put on your lap, “it should be easy, it’s not like we usually see each other on campus”.

jean agreed with a nod. things were now settled, and so he went back to leaning back in his chair, crumpling the wrapper of his cereal bar with both hands before throwing it in the trashcan at the other end of the room.

that made you remember a tiny detail.

something along the lines of a basketball match this weekend, which you had not yet thought about in the perspective of your agreement with jean.

“saturday’s gonna be fun...” you introduced the topic, your voice tinged with sarcasm. but it was your smirk that allowed jean to get what you were referring to.

“oh god...”, he let out with a resigned sigh, “i can’t wait for porco to point at you in the stands and ask which one of us you came for”. he could already picture the scene very clearly. “he’s the biggest shit-stirrer i’ve ever met. you’re not gonna escape it”.

for some reason, that didn’t surprise you at all. porco looked like the kind of guy who was somehow involved in every drama, and who enjoyed it. “i’ll just say i came for the best player” you shrugged, taking the last sip of your drink.

“aw... thanks” jean replied, and immediately covered his head with one arm, anticipating the pillow you threw at him. it landed on the floor in a thud, which made his lips curl up in a cocky smile: “you’re very predictable, you know that?”

“more predictable than your grade on this assignment if i refuse to help you finish it?” you asked, pointing at your laptop which you had just reopened. his smirk immediately disappeared, and you watched him open his own in a split second. “...that’s what i thought” you chuckled.

you had to admit that jean had a way of making studying less boring than it usually was. or maybe you were just entertained by this unusual setting. either way, the next forty minutes went by in the blink of an eye. but it was nothing compared to the entire hour that followed...

many topics were discussed in that tiny bedroom: the posters on his walls (“you’ve never seen shutter island?! get out of my room, right now”), the multitude of pillows on his bed (which you learned had been brought to him by his mom, who visited once every two weeks), his relationships with the rest of the basketball team, with pieck and porco (“unexpected, but really cool” to quote jean himself), connie’s tendency to skip class, sasha and niccolo’s relationship... things you could have discussed with any of your other friends, but didn’t think could be possible with someone you had never talked to three days ago.

but it was past midnight already, and the conversation did not seem like it could end by itself.

unlike jean who had moved from his desk chair to the bed once the assignment was done, you had remained in the same position, sat against the wall. your first stretch was almost painful. “i should get going” you told him, keeping your voice low like you had both been doing ever since marco had gone to bed.

with a yawn, jean got up from the bed right after you.

“oh i know my way out, don’t worry” you told him as you put on your coat, which you had left hanging on his chair.

he gave you an intrigued look. “...you’re not seriously considering walking home alone?”

“well, i was” you replied, bending down to put your shoes on, “but i’m pretty sure that was a rhetorical question”.

“it was. your analytical skills are amazing, by the way. i hope you know that” he teased you, before grabbing his keys on his desk and opening the door to let you out first.

out in the cold - which was much more biting than last time you had been outside - the conversation resumed where you had left it, very naturally.

but since it really didn’t take long to walk from his apartment to yours (something he apparently refused to take as an excuse to let you walk home alone), you barely had time to close the topic of niccolo and sasha that you were already approaching your front door.

you knew it, this was a key moment in every stupid romcom that sasha made you watch on sunday nights: the awkwardness of two oblivious protagonists saying goodbye to each other. for a moment, you feared one of you might make it just as awkward as these repetitive characters. but someone luckily - or was it really luck? - helped preventing it. someone who, as always, had his nose stuck in a book, while his other hand was carrying two trash bags.

had you not spoken up, armin might not have noticed your presence, nor jean’s. but the need to know why he was taking the trash out at 12:17am was too strong not to ask.

startled by your voice, armin dropped his book to his feet with a gasp that sounded dangerously close to a scream, “are you crazy?!” he exclaimed, before remembering what time it was and lowering his voice, “you scared the life out of me!”.

but it seemed like he hadn’t been scared enough not to notice jean. or rather, not to openly stare at him. his gaze alternated between the both of you, even as he dropped the bags in the dumpster and picked his book up. you wondered if he was even blinking.

“how was your night?” he asked with a smile that jean might have mistaken for a genuine one. but you knew armin better than that... if sasha was already asleep, he would be the one questioning you.

“good” you replied, adding a yawn that you hoped wouldn’t sound too fake, “but i’m really tired so... i think i’m just gonna go straight to bed”. that last part had been addressed to jean, so when your eyes went back to armin, you didn’t expect to see him waiting for you with his arms crossed. he definitely wasn’t planning on going back inside to leave you two some semblance of privacy.

“alright...” jean tried to fill the awkward silence, as you began to nervously shift your weight from one leg to another, “i should probably head back then”.

you nodded, giving armin a side glance. he hadn’t moved an inch. what was he trying to make you prove? did he have doubts regarding what was supposed to have happened on saturday? it wouldn’t be much of a surprise... other people could be easily fooled, but not him.

but, after what felt like hours - especially in the cold - jean finally took things in hand. his left arm snaked around your waist, and you felt him pull you closer. you shivered, hoping it was just because of the cold, and closed your eyes instinctively, prepared to any eventuality.

but the only thing you felt was a kiss being left on your forehead, right before he let go of your waist.

“i’ll text you” he said, but you were too taken aback to tell whether or not he had just winked at you or not.

finally, you turned around to face armin. he nodded, a look of satisfaction painted on his face. whatever test he had just made you take, it seemed like you and jean had both nailed it.

CHAPTER 5 ->

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rebelwrites · 3 years

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She Ain’t You

Harvey Specter x Reader

Part 2 of Please Don’t Leave Me

A/N another addition to @band--psycho music writing challenge with the song “she ain’t me” by Sophia Scott

Join The TagList Here 💜 // Harvey Specter Masterlist

It had been a year since you had left Pearson Specter Litt and as much as you told Harvey to move on, something was stopping you from doing the same.

Yes you had been on a few dates that your best friend had set you up on but you just weren’t interested as none of them were Harvey. And to make matters worse you were cleaning out your wardrobe and found a box of memories which you were now going through.

You ran your fingers of the picture of you and Harvey that had been taken at a gala the firm attended, to make things worse you had found one of his sweaters which even after a year still smelt like him. You couldn’t help the tears that fell.

Pulling your phone out you facetime your best friend. Within a couple of rings she picked up.

“Whoa why you crying babe?” Becki asked.

“I just” you sniffled “I miss him Bex, I’ve just been cleaning my wardrobe out and I just found one of his sweaters”

“Y/N” she sighed “it’s been a year now, you need to move on”

“I know but I just can’t” you whispered wiping your tears. “I don’t know what to do and to top things up he is in a new relationship”

“You told him to move on so he has” she said “I’m gonna be honest here you fucked up but I know just what you need”

“What” you sighed.

“You need a girls night out” she grinned “I will be over in 15 and we will try and get your mind off him even if it is just for tonight”

I ran into you last night at our favourite bar. I didn't even have to ask you how you are. 'Cause I've seen all the pictures of your brand new life. And the girl you've been saying's gonna be your wife. So I take a deep breath and I wait for the worst part

It was like the world wanted you to burn, the one night you agreed to go out with Bex had to be the night that he was at the same bar. But it wasn’t just him it was everyone from the firm as well.

And to rub salt in the wound he had his new girlfriend hanging off his arm.

“Gimme a whiskey” you shouted to the bartender.

As soon as the drink was placed in front of you, you downed it, ignoring the burning sensation in your throat.

You couldn’t help yourself as you looked over to where Harvey was, taking in his girlfriend. One look told you everything you needed to know, she was the complete opposite to you, in every single way, even to the type of drinks she drank.

Because you were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even see Donna appear next to you.

“Well I didn’t expect to see you here tonight trouble” she said nudging your arm.

“I could say the same thing” you sighed as you ordered another drink.

“I’m not gonna sit here and make small talk with you” Donna nodded “you miss him don’t you, you feel like you made the world’s biggest mistake”

“Donna I’m fine” you lied.

“Girl don’t bullshit me, you know I can see straight through it” she said

“Fine I feel like I’m drowning” you shrugged “and seeing her well it makes me want to stab my eyes out”

“Trust me, nobody likes her” Donna laughed.

Say she's beautiful. Like she walked right out of your dreams. She ain't cynical. She never fights or disagrees. Well, I know you and what you need. And she can't give you everything. 'Cause there's one thing she'll never be. She ain't me

You don’t know how you let Donna convince you and Bex to join their party but here you were, slamming down whiskeys like they were water, ignoring the concerned look that flashed across Harvey’s face.

Normally you were the life of the party, always cracking jokes and lowering the bar, but tonight you were quiet. Your thoughts about her being the complete opposite of you was confirmed as she spoke.

One thing was for sure, she was the type not to argue about anything, she would just roll over and agree.

“So what are you doing with yourself now Y/N?” Mike asked.

“Not much really” you shrugged “kinda took some time off to be honest, but started working for a clinic”

“You said you always wanted to do some clinic work” Harvey smiled.

“Yeah” you nodded

'Cause I know you better than you know yourself. I know the secrets that you never told no one else. And I bet she only sips on pretty pink drinks. And never quite says what she really thinks. I wish I could say that I wish you well

A week had passed and you couldn’t get Harvey out of your mind, tossing your pen on the desk you grabbed your phone and dialed his number.

“Harvey Specter” his voice appeared.

“Hey Harvs” you whispered.

“Y/N why are you calling?” He asked.

“Wondered if we could speak?” You asked.

“Now isn’t a good time” he said.

“Oh right” you sighed “when’s best for you?”

“I don’t know” he said quite harsh “I’m swamped, if I get chance I will call you”

Before you could even speak the line went dead.

“Fucking dickhead” you muttered grabbing you smokes, you needed to get some air.

You didn’t know what you expected by calling him but you didn’t expect him to brush you off. But you knew him better than anyone else and you could tell he was going through some shit just by the tone of his voice.

Like the kinda girl that you cut out of a magazine. I'm a little bit rough and I'm known to cause a scene. I know you miss it when you see me. True love ain't always easy. And perfect ain't as perfect as it seems

“I rang Harvey today” you said to Donna before taking a bite out of your burger.

“How did that go?” She asked.

“The bastard blew me off” you laughed. “I don’t know why I bothered”

“Y/N this isn’t my place to say” Donna said.

“But you are gonna tell me anyway” you laughed.

“He broke up with her” she said smiling.

“Good for him” you shrugged “not like things are gonna change everyone knows I’m not the easiest person to love, things got said and arguments happened”

“I’m gonna tell you something now and I want you to listen” Donna said taking your hand in hers “I have never seen Harvey so broken as I did when you left, yes you fight but I have never seen two people love as hard as you and Harvey, true love is never perfect”

Donna’s words kept replaying in your mind, could you and him make things work again? Would he even want to take you back?

Either way you weren't going to push your luck, it was up to him.

Climbing out the shower you dried yourself and got into your fluffy pyjama bottoms and hoodie, deciding to let your hair dry naturally you grabbed your phone and smokes and headed out to your balcony.

As you were just about to light your cigarette you heard a knock at your door, nothing thinking anything of it you ignored it and sparked your cig.

You were just about finished with the smoke when whoever it was knocked again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” you sighed as you walked through your apartment.

Finally you unlocked the door and saw the one person you never expected to be standing at your door at nearly 9pm at night.

“Harvey” you breathed, suddenly feeling self conscious that you were standing there in your pyjamas. “What, Urm what are you doing here?”

He didn’t speak, he just looked you up and down, a small smile playing in his lips as he took in your appearance. And without any warning he walked over to you with a sense of urgency, his hands went to either side of your face before his lips crashed against yours, instantly you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back.

“She wasn’t you Y/N” he whispered against you lips “she would never be you”

#harvey specter imagine #harvey specter x reader #harvey specter #suits usa #suits x reader #suits

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captain-jensen · 3 years

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Big Fan

Tom Holland x reader

Summary: You’re a popular YouTuber and you get to interview Tom for his new movie. He invites you out for a couple of drinks with his friends because he confesses to being a fan of your videos. Fluff ensues.

Authors note: I just found this in my drafts so sorry if it seems choppy. There’s some very light cursing.

Today is the most exciting day of your life. You’ve been asked to interview the cast of Spider-Man for YouTube. As exciting as it is, you can’t stop thinking about everything that could go wrong. You’ve never interviewed anyone before. Talking to a camera while you do random stuff, that you can do. Talk to a famous person in a professional setting in front of a camera? That’s a no go. Yet, here you are, about to ask famous hot people questions about a movie you’ve haven’t even seen. You were given a list of questions by YouTube that had to be asked, and then you were given a list of topics that were acceptable to talk about. “There’s nothing that can go wrong” you tell yourself. You were basically given a script and all that was asked of you was to entertain the actor and make an interview that was fun to watch. It can’t be that hard right? Unless of course you end up entirely embarrassing yourself on camera in front of one of your biggest celebrity crushes ever. You push these intrusive thoughts out of your head in an effort to calm yourself and simultaneously hype yourself up. After having what felt like a miniature panic attack in the bathroom, you tidy up your makeup and hair and walk into the main area of the hotel room where the first interview of your day will take place. They decided to get you to interview Jacob Batalon first, then Marisa Tomei, then Zendaya, and finally Tom Holland. Spider-Man himself.

The first two interviews go well. You had fun with Jacob and you made Marisa laugh. Now that it’s time to interview Zendaya you start to feel those nerves creeping in once again. You ask Zendaya about all of her upcoming projects and try your hardest not to fangirl when she starts talking about Euphoria. You manage to make it through though and she seems pleased with the questions you asked her. Even though you were excited to meet Tom you were kind of hoping your interview with Zendaya would never end, just so that you could avoid all the nerves of talking to Tom. After leaving the room where Zendaya was you get ushered right into the next room with the man himself. Composing yourself as quickly as you could you walk in and see Tom having his hair touched up. He greets you with the warmest smile ever as your crew works on setting up the camera and lights. He stands to shake your hand as you introduce yourself. “Hi I’m Y/N Y/L/N, nice to meet you”

“Oh no way! I watch your videos all the time when I’m waiting for flights and stuff” That’s when you freeze in your tracks.

“You’re joking!” you exclaim, trying to make sense of what just came out of Spider-Mans’ mouth.

“No, not at all. I love when you talk about films and break them down piece by piece. I use your videos as education essentially” He admits, laughing a little sheepishly.

“Wow, well I’m very flattered, thank you so much!” You reply, trying your best to remain professional. For almost the entire interview you both go back and forth talking about several films other than his own. You tried hard to get him to talk about the new Spider-Man movie, but he always found a way to cycle back to a video you made about a certain movie he loved. After the camera and lights are turned off Tom quickly stands to get your attention before you bid your farewell.

“Hey, Y/N, some friends and I are heading to bar later tonight if you want to meet us there. We could talk more about a bunch of movies and your videos!” He says excitedly.

“Yeah that sounds like a lot of fun!” you reply nonchalantly.

“Well let’s exchange numbers then and I’ll text you with all the details.” Tom proposes shyly. You notice out of the corner of your eye that Harry and Harrison were slyly giggling amongst themselves and watching yours and Toms’ interaction unfold. You enter your phone number into Toms’ phone and he does the same to yours. “It was really great meeting you Y/N, I can’t wait to talk more later” Tom says, quickly glancing at his shoes.

“Likewise, it was a pleasure” With a shake of your hand a second of eye contact you turn and walk out of the room. Unable to contain your laughter of excitement your crew just watches in amusement and offer you light-hearted congratulations.

Later that evening, at around 5pm you get a text from a contact that says “Tom” with a little spiderweb emoji beside it. Smirking, you open it to see the details for the night, agreeing to meet at the bar at around 9pm. Which gives you plenty of time to get ready, hype yourself up a bit, and do a bit of a vlog on your snap story for your followers. Although you were very meek with the details of your plans for the night, your fans were able to deduce that you were definitely meeting with someone famous since they knew you had been doing a lot of press tours lately.

Taking one last look in the mirror you say to yourself “You’re Y/N fucking Y/L/N. Tom Holland is a fan of YOUR channel. You can do anything” That courage quickly dissipates though as you near the bar. Holy shit, how were you possibly going to converse with Tom Holland and his friends ALL NIGHT? There was no way you were going to be interesting compared to all of these people. All you do is make Youtube videos about movies. When you got inside the bar your body was buzzing. Scanning the room you lock eyes with Tom almost immediately and he jumps out of his seat smiling and waving you over. You make your way over to him and he pulls you into an embrace, which took you by surprise, however you reciprocate almost immediately. Turning to the table you see that there’s no-one else there. Giving you a worried look Tom quickly turns and says “This isn’t weird is it? Everyone else isn’t gonna be here for another hour. I wanted to be able to have an uninterrupted conversation with you for a bit.”

“Tom Holland, did you trick me into a date?” You say suspiciously, trying to cooly play off the fact that you were now going to spend the next hour alone with Tom talking and drinking.

“Well that depends. Would it be awkward if I did?” He asks hesitantly

“No not awkward, you just could have asked me straight up” You say quickly, not knowing where this sudden boost of confidence is coming from.

“Well I’ll remember that for next time” Tom says smugly. You order your drinks and get to talking and laughing. The hour goes by in 5 minutes and you realize that you guys barely talked about movies the whole time. You instead spent the 60 minutes talking about eachothers home towns and families. He asked you about your passion for films, and you asked him about his hundreds of hobbies. You found your nerves dissipating rapidly and they were instead replaced by butterflies and fireworks. Even when everyone else walked in and joined you 2 at the table Tom kept his gaze on you. Watching you interact with his friends and the way your face would light up when you laughed especially hard at his jokes. Tom could feel the seed in his stomach growing. He was quickly torn out of his thoughts when he heard Harrison speak the words “Hey Y/N wanna know something funny?”

“Go on then” You reply

“Tom has had the biggest crush on you for months. He’s always watching your videos, telling us about your videos, watching the films you recommend, making us watch them with him, and then making us watch your video about said film. It’s been almost non-stop for months now” Harrison admits, making Tom put his head in his hands in embarrassment and making you blush furiously. Not knowing what to make of the situation, and being slightly buzzed at this point you respond with a simple thank you and a small, shy giggle. Looking down at your phone and deciding to try and dismiss the situation. Harrison wouldn’t let it go though, not being able to watch his friend be so shy around a girl. “In fact, when you exchanged numbers earlier Tom couldn’t stop smiling and talking about how excited he was, go on, tell her Tom”

Tom gives you a sorry and shy look before finally deciding to speak up and say “I told you I was a big fan. I just didn’t plan on saying all of that at once” he gave Harrison a warning look while a dark blush crept up his neck and cheeks.

“It’s ok. That’s really sweet Tom” You say. Wanting to make him feel better about the situation you give him an honest smile. Deciding to drop the subject, everyone moves onto their own conversations. You and Tom couldn’t stop stealing glances at eachother for the rest of the night though. Before you know it, last call has come and gone and you all stand outside waiting for cabs. Before you can manage to hail one though, Tom pulls you aside asking to speak with you.

“I’m really sorry about Harrison earlier. He can be such a div.” He rubs the back of his neck for comfort.

“It’s really ok Tom. I was happy to hear it honestly. Being such a fan of yourself I never felt more flattered”

“Well I want you to know that I’m not just a fan of your videos anymore Y/N. I honestly really like you. If you’d like to, I’d love to take you to lunch tomorrow.” Tom Holland turns red for what seems like the hundredth time that night. You however weren’t that much better, considering your own blush was keeping you warm in the cool night air.

“I’d love that” You say, and you both let out a synchronised breath you didn’t know you were holding in. With that you lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek. His smooth skin was comforting against your lips. When you pull away you look in his eyes to see a stunned expression seeping out of his dazed eyes. Then without warning his lips are on yours. It only lasts a second though because you then hear Harrison calling to you saying he was able to wave down a cab for you, clearly wanting to mess with Tom. “Text me tomorrow” you say sweetly to Tom as you slowly back away.

“I promise I’ll text you tonight!” He yells after you.

“That works too!” With that the cab door closes and it’s only then that you realise how laboured your breath had been all night. Trying to calm yourself you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Smiling instantly you pull it out to see a message from the one and only and it reads

Do you want to do breakfast instead ;) xx

You respond asking when and where and you just shake your head smiling. Knowing that tonight is going to be long.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot

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tomhollandstrash · 3 years

Text

Nice

Here’s another friends to lovers trope. I’ve just been really in the mood to write about it lately! I hope y’all enjoy!

Peter, what are you doing?” You raised your eyebrow, watching Peter frantically digging through his backpack.

“Ugh,” Peter groaned, removing his hands from his bag before resting his forehead in his hands. “I lost it,”

“Lost what?” You asked, sitting in the desk next to him.

“My pen,” He grumbled.

“You lost your pen? Pete, you can just borrow one of mine,” You chuckled at your friend’s antics before passing him your favorite teal pen.

“Your favorite pen?” Peter blinked as he took the pen from you.

“Yeah, so you better give it back after class,” You poked him in the side and gave him the sternest look you could muster.

“You’re so nice, y/n” Peter smiled, settling into his seat, ready for class.

—

"What are you doing tonight?" you asked Peter as the two of you walked out of the classroom.

You and Peter have been close ever since you were partners in biology last year. As it turned out, the two of you had a lot in common. You both enjoyed the same kinds of music, although you always argued about-who had the better taste. Peter never failed to brighten your day. He was always helping you with your schoolwork or telling you stupid jokes he'd picked up off the internet. You also knew that he trusted you deeply. You can still remember the night he told you that he was Spider-Man. Peter said he wanted to tell you because he knew that you were one one of his most trustworthy friends. Only you and Ned knew that particular secret.

Although you were glad that Peter felt like he could trust you with anything, sometimes you were privy to information that you didn't care to know. For example, Peter's massive crush on Liz Allan. Liz was great; she was the total package. She was beautiful, smart, and kind. You couldn't pin point exactly what it was that irritated you so much about Peter's crush on her. You always told yourself that it was simply because Peter was annoyingly lovesick over her. That was definitely it. It wasn't because you had any kind of romantic feelings for one of your closest friends. Definitely and absolutely not that. Besides, you and Liz were friendly with each other. All you could hope for was for your friends to be happy; and Liz certainly seemed to make Peter happy.

"I think I'm going to ask Liz if she wants to hang out tonight" Peter gushed nervously.

" That's great, Pete” you replied through a tight lipped smile.

There was that weird feeling again. If you weren't absolutely certain that you didn't have feelings for Peter, you would have mistaken that feeling for jealousy. There was nothing to be jealous of.

" Yeah, hopefully she'll say yes" Peter said as the two of you arrived at your lockers.

—

You put your chin in your palm as your elbow rested against the cool linoleum countertop. Since you had no other plans for the right, you decided to pick up an extra shift at the local coffee shop you worked at. The coffee shop wasn't too busy tonight, though you weren't particularly surprised. The only people who frequented the shop at 9pm on a Friday night were you and the extra studious college students. You were about to begin cleaning up when you heard the bell on the door ring and the sounds of laughter filling the air. You stood up and straightened out your apron, ready to greet the newcomers.

" Welcome to bi-" You began but stopped when you saw who your new customers were. " oh, hey Peter, Liz”

' She must have said yes' you thought somewhat bitterly to yourself. When you looked at them, you saw that they were linking elbows and looked like they were having the time of their lives. Peter was practically glowing he looked so happy.

" Hi y/n!” Peter greeted you after his Liz induced giggles subsided.

" What can I get you guys? " you asked, rocking back and forth on your feet. You hated how awkward you were being in this moment. It's not like you liked Peter like that.

" Can we just get two not chocolates, please?" Liz requested kindly.

"Sure,” you replied as you began to take out the necessary ingredients. "it's on the house"

"Thats so nice!” Peter grinned at you. “You’re so nice, y/n”

You tried to hold in your sigh. Was that really all you were to Peter? Just someone who was nice?

“ No problem, I'll bring you your drinks when they're ready" You said with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"Thank you!" Liz smiled at you as she whisked Peter away to a cozy table.

As you made their drinks, you couldn't help but steal glances at them. Why couldn't you find it in yourself to be happy for Peter? He'd been mooning over Liz for the past few months, and he looked undeniably happy. You frowned slightly as you watched Peter let out a full bellied-laugh at something Liz said to him. After you dropped their drinks off at their table, you went into the back to clean, preferring to avoid the love fest happening in front of you. Once they left with a cheerful wave to you, you turned the lights off and walked home trying to forget the Peter sized pit in your stomach.

—

In the weeks following Peter's date with Liz, they began officially dating. While you and Peter used to hang out most days after school, you weren't seeing much of each other these days. As far as you knew, Peter and Liz were still going strong. In all honesty you tried to avoid the topic whenever you and Peter had time to talk. In the time Liz and Peter had been dating, you had come to terms with the fact that you had feelings for Peter Parker. It wasn't something you liked to admit to yourself. How typical it was to be a person hopelessly in love with your oblivious best friend. And while rationally you knew you would just have to accept it, it sure didn't take the sting out of your best friend being in love with someone else.

“ Hi y/n!"

"Jeez Peter," You shouted and placed a hand over your racing heart. “You scared the shit out of me,”

“Sorry,” He smiled sheepishly as he smoothed out his messy hair. “What are you up to tonight?"

"I thought you had plans with Liz tonight?” You asked with a raised brow.

"I did but she bailed " Peter said, suddenly getting quiet.

“In that case, I’m free tonight,” You replied, making a mental note to ask him about why he’s acting weird later.

“Pizza and movie at my place?” He asked, his bright smile returning.

“Sounds like a plan, Parker,” You smiled at him before heading off to your next class.

The end of the day couldn't come fast enough. Not only were you excited to spend some quality time with Peter, you were also exhausted. Your teachers had been piling on the assignments and you couldn't wait to take a well- earned break.

You walked over to Peter’s apartment building and picked up a pizza on the way there. Even if Peter didn’t return your feelings, you had to admit that you missed hanging out with him like this. You missed the nights spent eating pizza and watching cringe horror movies, enjoying each other’s company. You wondered if you’d ever tell Peter how you felt about him. In all honesty, you didn’t know whether you would or not. On the one hand, you’d never know if he felt the same way if you never talked to him about it. On the other hand, you were almost sure he didn’t feel the same way and you didn’t want the verbal confirmation that he didn’t.

“Hey, Pete! I have pizza,” You said through the door as your knuckles tapped the surface a few times.

“Hi, y/n! Come on in,” Peter opened the door with a grin before taking the pizza box out of your hands.

"what are we watching?" you asked as you took off your jacket.

"I don't remember what it's called," Peter admitted, helping himself to a slice of pizza. "I know that it's a Romanian film of some kind,"

"Well, I’m definitely intrigued!” You let out a light laugh, missing now Peter beamed when he heard the beautiful sound of your laughter.

—

“I was not expecting that ending,” Peter said looking blankly at the now dark screen.

“That was certainly something,” You nodded in agreement.

The two of you were seated comfortably on the couch, Peter's arm resting on the cushions behind you, both of your legs sharing a cozy blanket. You stretched and yawned, checking the time. It was getting late but you weren't quite ready to leave Peter or the coziness of the blanket. Peter glanced at you and subconsciously scooted his body closer to yours. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but he started to see you as something more than a friend. At first Peter thought maybe the way he felt about you was like family, but he quickly realized he was in big trouble because he like-liked you. Peter Parker had a full on crush on you, his best friend. It made Peter feel guilty having these feelings for you while he was with Liz. When he said Liz bailed earlier, it wasn’t because she had something going on, it was because they decided to break up. Peter decided not to bring it up unless you did out of fear of making things weird.

“Hey, Peter?” You sat up a little straighter to look at him.

“Yeah?” Peter looked at you.

“When I mentioned Liz earlier today, you got all quiet and weird. Is everything okay?” You bit your lip, anticipating what his answer would be.

“We uh, we broke up,” Peter cleared his throat awkwardly, looking everywhere but at you.

“Oh...” You trailed off. “I’m sorry to hear that, I know you really liked her,”

It was an entirely bittersweet feeling to hear Peter say that he and Liz were no longer dating. Bitter because you knew that Peter was probably hurting and he was your friend before anything else, no matter how much you wanted to be more. Sweet because maybe, just maybe, you had some kind of chance with him.

“Y/n? Can I tell you something?” Peter broke the silence that had fallen between the two of you.

You nodded in his direction in affirmation, not trusting your own voice not to waver. The way he was looking at you was making you nervous. He looked like he had something serious to tell you. Peter gave you the same look the night he told you that he was Spider-Man. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but what if he was going to confess his love for you? What if this is the day the two of you cross the line from friendship into something more? It was more than enough to cause your palms to sweat and your heart to beat faster.

“I like you,” Peter breathed out, looking just as nervous as you felt.

“I like you too, Pete,” You replied, not fully understanding what he was trying to say to you.

“I mean that I like you in a love kind of way,” he said almost inaudibly. Although it was quiet, you heard him and you knew you heard him correctly.

You honestly couldn’t believe it. Here you were sitting in your best friend’s living room and he was confessing his feelings for you. This was a scenario you’d daydream about but it wasn’t something you thought would ever happen. Now that you’re in the moment, you don’t know what to say or how you should react. It’s so much better than you could have ever imagined it. Those words falling from Peter’s lips made your heart explode from fullness.

“I, uh, I like you like that too,” you said bashfully, biting your lip to keep your smile from growing too wide.

Peter let out the breath that he was holding before wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug, breathing you in.

“I so glad you feel the same way, I was starting to think you weren’t going to respond,” Peter laughed, wiping pretend sweat from his forehead.

“I didn’t know what to say, I’ve liked you since forever!” You laughed, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Since forever, huh?” He smiled that dumb adorable smile you fell in love with and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, maybe not forever, but almost,” you chuckled before planting a quick kiss on the tip of his nose.

That night didn’t end in the way you expected it to when you originally agreed to hang out with Peter, but you couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ending. The two of you talked until the early morning hours, nothing changing between the two of you except becoming more in love with one another.

—

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #peter parker reader insert #tom holland reader insert

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etoileholland · 4 years

Text

lead me to your door

@mayberosey asked: The Tom and reader are neighbors (apartment setting) and every time he passes by her apartment, she plays different types of genres. She would play classical to jazz to rock to indie and so on. Tom finds it endearing that she has such wide range of music taste, but one day it just stops. And it lasts for maybe a week or two. So he’s worried but doesn’t do anything. When he finally hears music playing, the sounds are more mellow and it doesn’t change for a few days. That’s when Tom decided to knock on her door...

Pairing: Tom x female reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: none

A/N: so I've been on a lil hiatus from writing but I finally finished this so I wanted to share it. Requests are open and I’m personally out of ideas, so please don’t hesitate to send something in. Although please don’t send in any requests about drama revolving around Tom’s girlfriend, I’ve already received a few and I won’t write those xx also the gif isn’t mine, all credit goes to its respective owner

“L, is for the way you look at me. ‘O’ is for the only one I see, ‘V’ is very very, extraordinary…”

Tom smiled to himself when he heard the faint music from the other side of the wall. It was 8am and his neighbour was already playing music. It was something that he had to grow accustomed to when he moved in about a month ago. At first it was a bit annoying to always hear some form of music from the apartment right next to his, but now, he welcomed it.

He was eating breakfast in the kitchen, and the music accompaniment was a nice way to start the day. He mouthed along to the familiar words, a smile erupted on his face as he enjoyed his scone.

Tom had grown to find there was a schedule with the music that he heard from next door. Since today was Monday, it was usually old jazz tunes, like Sinatra, Benny Goodman or Louis Armstrong. Tuesday’s were a mix of contemporary pop music, Wednesday’s were nothing but music from The Beatles, Thursday and Friday were dedicated to Harry Styles, Saturday’s was an array of songs and genres from the ‘60s to about the 80’s, and Sunday's were nothing but sad songs, the theme usually revolving around unrequited love.

He often wondered why there was such a distinct schedule, and why you only listened to sad songs on Sunday’s. It had become a bit of a game for him to try to figure out why, but so far he’s settled on the idea that maybe you had your heart broken on a Sunday, and therefore, dedicated sad songs to that day only.

On the weekdays, the music would stop around 10am, and would pick back up again around 6pm, and would cease around 9pm. It was rare to hear music past that point, which made him think that you went to bed extremely early. And on the weekends, the music would go from noon to midnight, which suggested you stayed up later.

He loved building a fantasy around the person he deduced based on your patterns and music choice, but the truth is that he had never met you. He had no idea who his neighbour was, and he didn’t want to knock on your door in case you were a creep or something.

He figured his neighbour was a female, since he often heard a light airy laugh from the other side of the wall, but it could be a man with a really high pitched laugh. Or you could be married, or old, but he had no idea, and frankly he had no intention of finding out.

Until one day, the music stopped.

It happened abruptly, he awoke one day on a Tuesday morning and realised that there wasn’t any music coming from your apartment. But he didn’t worry since he figured you were either sleeping in, or you had left early for work or something. He was gone the whole day at a rehearsal for the show he was in, so he didn’t think twice about the silence.

The next day, Wednesday around noon, he was hoping to hear the melodic voices of Lennon and McCartney from the other side of the wall, but once again it was silent. Usually at this point in the day, you had already finished the first two Beatles albums, and were quick to put on ‘A Hard Day’s Night’. He began to wonder if maybe you were out of town, but the nagging thought in the back of his head wondered if something bad had happened.

I’ll give it a few more days, and then if I still hear silence, I’ll check up on them, he thought to himself.

—

A week had gone past, and still radio silence. It was beginning to worry Tom, and he knew that he would have to go check on you, but every time he tried, he couldn’t.

He would head out to go to the gym, and would walk past your door, hesitating to see if he should knock. His hand would hover over the doorbell, but always stopped a centimetre away from pushing it.

Maybe they moved, or maybe something really bad happened, he thought, or maybe they’re out of town?

The thoughts swirled around his head, making him anxious and flustered until he decided that he shouldn’t bother you. And besides, how would he even start the conversation?

He backed away from your door, but then swiftly took a step forward and nearly knocked on the dark wood grained door.

What am I thinking? He thought, before beginning to pace the hallway while he thought of the best way to handle this. Don’t be dumb, there’s no good way to start a conversation with them. Would I really be stupid enough to say, “‘Hey, not to sound like a creep but I noticed I don’t hear you playing music anymore?’ or ‘hey, so I’ve never once spoken to you before but I can always hear you from my apartment and I find pleasure in knowing you’re alive but now I hear nothing and I’m assuming the worst?’” They’ll call the cops on me for sure.

He paced around in front of your door for about a minute, until walking back in the direction of his apartment, surrendering to his ever-so-increasingly intrusive thoughts.

—

Today had marked two weeks without hearing music from your apartment, and Tom had grown increasingly worried. If it’s still silent by this time tomorrow, I’ll confront my fear and knock on the door.

Miraculously, he didn’t need to knock on your door at all. When he awoke at 9am on a Tuesday, he almost didn’t hear the faint music playing from the room on the other side of his bedroom wall.

He pressed his ear to the wall and could hear a somber song playing. His eyes nearly welled up with tears when he realised that you were okay. But as the day went on, he grew worried. Tuesday’s were your ‘pop music’ days, but he only heard sad Taylor Swift songs.

Well that’s odd, they only play those on Sunday, he pondered.

The next four days were filled with heart wrenching ballads, somber piano music floating through the air. The nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach never went away, and he knew that he would have no choice but to knock on your door.

He figured the best way to go about it was to inquire about the music, and say that as a caring neighbour, he wanted to make sure all was well.

Standing in front of the mirror, wearing his favourite pair of jeans and t-shirt, he left his apartment and walked over to your front door.

You can do it Tom, just say you’re concerned about their health and well-being.

As he lifted his arm to knock on your door, you had just opened your door and were startled to see someone standing in front of your door.

“Holy shit!” You exclaimed as you closed your door, but Tom put his hand out to keep your door open.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t trying to startle you.” He exhaled, stepping back into the hallway.

“I figured, I’m sorry for that, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be standing on the other side of my door.”

“Me either.” He breathed, holding an arm out and propping himself up against the wall. “Were you about to head out?”

“I was just going to go down to pick up a package from the front desk, but it can definitely wait.”

He nodded his head and unsuccessfully pushed a stray curl away from his face, it falling right back near his eye in a matter of seconds. You stood there admiring the man in front of you, making a mental note of the loose curl in front of his face, and his slightly awkward demeanour. He was handsome, and you found it cute how he was speechless.

“Well, do you mind telling me why you were just about to knock on my door?” You inquired while Tom let out a small laugh.

“Right.” He placed his hand on the back of his neck and took a deep breath in. “I don’t want to overstep, but I was wondering if everything was alright with you?”

He saw a distinct shift in your facial expressions, but he continued to ramble on. “It’s just that I can always hear you playing music from my apartment right next door, and I love hearing it, but I noticed that it stopped for about two weeks. And then when it started again, it was only sad songs and you only usually play those on Sunday’s. Oh gosh, now I sound like a creep for observing that and I promise I’m not, I just thought it was odd and I wanted to make sure you were alright.” He took a deep breath out and paused before saying, “I hope that wasn’t too weird.”

You laughed lightly, before saying, “I’ve experienced weirder. But thank you for checking up on me…” you trailed off, realising that you don’t actually know your neighbours name.

“I-I’m Tom.” He stated, and you told him your name as well.

“It’s nice to meet you Tom, and once again thank you. I just went through a hard patch in my life, and listening to sad music made me feel better, in a way. But it’s nice to know you care, so thank you again.” You smiled, and Tom smiled back.

“Right, well I probably should get going since I know I’ve already made the weirdest first impression,” you both laughed, “but I’m glad to know you’re alright. But if you’re not, my apartment is 2B so you’re more than welcome to come over.” He blushed, gaze fixed on the carpeted floor.

“It was a perfectly fine first impression, but if you don’t mind me asking, do you like my music choice?” You laughed, and Tom’s face broke out into a smile, brown eyes piercing through yours.

“I wasn’t expecting that question, but yes, absolutely. I’ve found a lot of good songs and artists because of you. I’ve been loving FINNEAS’ album, and ELO, so I can thank you for that.” He grinned, the crinkles by his eyes becoming prominent.

“You’re welcome.” You had your door open all the way now, and you could smell that your pizza in the oven was nearly ready.

“Mm, that smells good.” Tom commented, and you looked into your apartment to make sure the oven wasn’t on fire.

“It does, I made some pizza and I think it’s nearly done.”

“I think so as well.” He added, the both of you sharing a comfortable silence. “I’ll let you eat though, but I’m glad to know you’re alright.” He smiled and began to take a step back when you lightly grabbed his arm, surprising you both.

“Wait, would you want to come inside? I made enough pizza for at least two people, and I also have a bottle of wine if you’d want some.” You asked, hoping that your very attractive neighbour would say…

“Yes, I’d love that. Only if it’s okay with you, of course.”

“It is okay, I asked you.” You smiled, and Tom laughed nervously.

“Right.” He half smiled.

“Well, come on in.” You motioned for him to step in, “let’s eat and listen to some music, yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

————

mes anges (taglist): @scarletxwidow @sunflowerhollands @fangirlwithasweettooth @taciturnspidey @musicalkeys @harrysleftchelseaboot @quaksonhehe @halfblood-princess-505

#tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x female reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland and you #tom holland and reader #tom holland and y/n #tom holland fluff #tom holland one shot #tom holland one shots #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfics #tom holland #tom holland writing #mine #text

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cilldaracailin · 3 years

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Save Me

Hello my Tumblr Lovelys,

Happy Saturday!

Hope everyone has had a nice day :)

I have been making hot cross buns since 2:20pm today and still have no hot cross buns. I made them and tried to prove them and they didn’t prove and then I realised I used millilitres instead of grams in my weighing so have made a second batch and I am still waiting for them to prove. They started proving just before 6pm. It is now 9pm. I have never made anything that needed to prove before and am struggling so much with it! :(. They are currently in the oven over a dish of hot water trying to prove and after this prove eventually gets done they still need two more hour proves! I didn't think it would take me all day and night. I guess I will have to stick to key lime pie. I have a feeling there are going to be no hot cross buns today.

Anywhoo, here is the next part in this Robyn and Taron story...

Suze xx

*DISCLAIMER - this part involves CPR training and a lot of angst and trauma. Please note it may be upsetting to some readers*

“Behind these eyes there is a girl trapped within her pain – a girl feeling all the emotions of anger and sadness. She’s fighting for a way out.”

Before they reached the door at the top of the stairs, it opened and Emma appeared.

“Oh hey Robyn.” She stopped three steps above them. “You ok?”

“Been a hell of a lot better.” Robyn honestly answered. If she was going to be truthful to Taron, she needed to follow through with her new self to everyone. “Thank you for calling Taron for me.” Robyn moved to the next step and hugged Emma. “I am so grateful for you and your understanding and dealing with my shit.”

“I told you earlier, all was forgiven and he needs this as much as you I think.” She added with a whisper. “And he is absolutely gorgeous.”

Robyn lightly slapped Emma’s back before she gave her one more tight hug and then she moved back to stand beside Taron.

“I am the last to do the CPR. Aiden said he would wait for you. Just you and Taron and the CPR. There is no one else in the room. We called the longer lunch too so we are going to pick back up just after one but still should finish on time at four.”

“Thank you Emma.” Robyn reached for Taron’s hand and the two moved to the side to let Emma down the stairs, Robyn waiting until she heard the little clang of the downstairs metal gate as it was closed. “So onwards and upwards, right?”

“Right.”

Taron started to walk up the stairs and held the door open for her so she could walk past him and onto the landing. Robyn waited for him and reaching for his hand, took the lead back into the playroom.

“Robyn, Taron.” The trainer was sitting on one of the chairs, on his phone. He stood up as they walked through and slipped his phone into his pocket. “I wasn’t too sure if you were going to come back in.”

“Sorry for running out.” Robyn apologised.

“That’s absolutely fine.”

“I am ready to do this now.” Robyn, who still held onto Taron’s hand, walked to stand in front of one of the mannequins on the floor, trying to take a steadying breath, her eyes not even looking down.

“Robyn…” Aiden came to stand beside her.

“I have to do this.” She repeated interrupting him before he gave her the option to back out, knowing her voice didn’t convey her urgency to get the training done. “I need to do this.”

“Ok well whenever you are ready.” Aiden knelt on the floor. “I know you know what to do. Two full rounds are all I need.”

Robyn just stood, her eyes still avoiding the floor and that horrible churning sensation in her stomach was coming back and she felt such an urge to run until she felt that all too calming presence behind her.

“You can do this.” Taron encouraged her. “Five minutes and we are done and I am right here with you and this time it isn’t me you are working on. It is a piece of plastic. Turn around to me.” Taron took his hand from hers and placed his hands on her shoulders, gently turning her to face him. “You know nothing bad is going to happen to you from doing this. Nothing is going to happen to me either.” Lifting her hand, he placed it on that all too familiar place on his body but realised it would be too hard to feel his heart beat as the jumper he wore was quite thick, so let go of her hand and pulled the jumper off, dropping it onto the floor. He grabbed her hand again and placed his on his chest, under his shirt and on his tank top. “Still beating, strong and hard and it always will be. If you hadn’t of done this training, I wouldn’t be here Robyn and I wouldn’t have my best friend standing here with me. One step at a time ok? And you know you can stop if you need to.”

“Robyn you can leave the breathes out.” Aiden said from behind her. “From your experience you know they are not always needed.”

Robyn turned her head to look at the trainer who was kneeling patiently on the ground. “If I am going to do it, I am going to do it right. I will never be able to face it if I don’t.” She turned her face back to Taron, her hand still on his chest and lightly brushed the tips of her fingers over his visible skin. “I am going to do it.” She looked back to Aiden. “I am going to.” She let her hand drop from Taron and turned around and took the two steps closer to the mannequin. “I am going to do this.” She knelt on the floor and let out one long shaky and nervous breath as she finally looked down. “Fuck it.” She cursed under her breathe, letting her hands rest on her knees.

Taron’s own insecurities were quickly coming forth and now that he had pulled his jumper off, he felt an all over chill and not just from the open windows and cold in the room but from the task Robyn had to complete in front of him. He knew watching Robyn trying to face her fears was going to hit him hard but he hadn’t realised how much. Everything that happened in the 7/11 was still a blur to him and he depended on Richard and Robyn to fill in those missing details and they were always willing to help him piece together what happened when he blacked out on the floor and his time in the ambulance. It always scared him when he thought about it, how close he was to not making it, how if it wasn’t for the bravery of Robyn that he wouldn’t be here with her and it wasn’t only Robyn who was starting to feel very anxious about the mannequins in front of her. However, he hated that she was so troubled by the CPR, so much more than him which was completely understandable and that she was so frightened of doing it. He had always thought that Robyn wasn’t afraid of anything but after seeing how she had already reacted to having to think about doing the CPR, now actually facing the challenge, he himself was so afraid of how she was going to take the physicality of doing the CPR and even more so that he wouldn’t be able to help her, that she wouldn’t let him and close herself off to him but he was so determined to support Robyn.

The hesitation was so clear from the young woman and after two minutes of watching Robyn just stare at the CPR dummy, Aiden was ready to tell her it was fine and that she didn’t need to do it but Taron came to kneel on the opposite side and the paramedic held back for a moment.

Robyn was frozen as she knelt, trying her hardest to stop herself from panicking, from breaking down but tears still pooled in her eyes and she found herself roughly wiping her eyes, trying to dry them. As she dried her eyes for the third time, she felt her hands being taken over the plastic body in front of her and looked up to see Taron opposite her, kneeling as she was alongside the mannequin.

It was the best plan he could think of in the few seconds he had and was so happy to take her shaking hands in his, knowing that although she didn’t know it as she was so caught up in her own troubles, that just holding her hands was helping him to keep his own nerves at bay. “Together.” He simply said and lowered his right hand onto the mannequin’s chest and placed her left hand on his. He then covered her left hand with his right and was glad to see her copy his movements and their hands were intertwined. “Let’s just do a few together.” He started to press very lightly up and down, so glad Robyn hadn’t tried to pull away. “You can do this.”

Feeling supported by his actions, by his constant support, Robyn, although still shaking intensely, followed Taron’s movements, letting him guide her hands. It was still horrendous and all she could see was an unconscious Taron under her hands, his bruised face and bare chest but she was working extremely hard to tell her brain he was there in front of her and helping her, that he was alive and well and here in Kilcreen with her.

“I can do it.” She said to him, trying to make her voice sound solid.

“Robyn?” Taron stopped their hands.

“I am going to do it.” She repeated. She looked to him and could see he was trying to be so strong for her, noticing that some of the colour had left his face and he looked shattered and realised that the longer she took to do the CPR, the more pain she was putting Taron through and she had already caused him enough hurt and pain in the last few hours, she did not want to cause him anymore. She took her hands from his and lifted his from the mannequin and gave them a slight rub. “I can do it.” She repeated, trying to keep her voice as steady as she could.

With as much determination and gusto she could manage, Robyn rolled up her sleeves and replaced her hands and went straight into full force compressions, left hand over her right as she pumped the mannequin hard, hearing the spring echo through the empty room but she tried to block it out, counting each push in her head, keeping her timing in beat, her shoulders strong and arms straight. Thirty fast compressions later, Robyn moved straight to do two breathes, her eyes closed as she blew into the mannequin’s mouth, pushing the image of Taron from her mind, of thinking about how cold his lips were as hers touched his as she blew the oxygen into his mouth all those months ago. Once her hands went back onto the mannequin’s chest, with every press down, a tear fell onto her hands but she didn’t stop and started to count out loud once she hit twenty, mainly to stop herself from fully giving into her tears. It was his chest she was pumping, Taron’s cold strong chest and even though he was alive and well opposite her, his hand on her shoulder, in her mind he was under her hands and she could feel the softness of his skin, the cold she could never forget feeling from him as she tried to resuscitate him and it wasn’t until she got to the last compression, taking her hands from the plastic body that her mind stopped playing tricks on her and it was a faceless dummy that stared up at her.

Taron wasn’t too sure whether to stop her not when she threw herself into the CPR, especially at the pace she was moving and he looked to Aiden who shook his and head and mouth ‘let her’ to him. Her ferocity and speed frightened him, how rigid she held herself and as he watched her hands, understanding so much more why her right hand was injured so after she helped him. She was digging the heel of her left hand into the back of her right hand and it must have hurt her but she didn’t slow her movements. He had to look away from her hands, finding it so difficult to watch, to know this was what she had done for him and he lifted his right hand to rub his chest as memories of how sore he was after the CPR came back to him. As his eyes followed her straight arms, he immediately noticed the sparkle on her right wrist and saw that she was wearing the bracelet he had bought her for her birthday, the coloured diamonds flickering in the light as she pressed up and down on the chest of the plastic dummy. His heart warmed for a moment but very quickly, his whole body froze a little and Robyn went straight in to complete the optional two breathes and then straight back into the solid compressions. It was an automatic reaction to place his right hand on her left shoulder when he saw the tears falling from her eyes and he desperately wanted to stop her and wrap her in a hug but knew he couldn’t and he had to let her continue. Once she finished, his hand dropped from her as she quickly got to her feet, stumbling backwards a little, her while body almost gasping for air.

Robyn was shocked she didn’t fall over as she got to her feet, she moved that fast but she needed to get away from the mannequin and backwards was the only option.

“Robyn?” She looked up to see Aiden standing near her but keeping his distance. “Are you ok?”

She shook her head and tried to compose her breathing, to calm herself down. “No but I will be.” She stammered. “I just need two… two minutes.”

“Take as long as you need.” Aiden said with understanding in his voice.

Taron got to his feet and walked over to her, taking his time, not wanting to crowd her, but stood only a footstep away for when she was ready to let him in. “Right here chicken.”

Robyn nodded. She looked to the mannequin on the ground and for the first time, it wasn’t Taron on the ground, still and unconscious but the practise dummy for the CPR. She closed her eyes and it was just black behind her lids, no ghastly imagines of her bloodied best friend, yelling at her and relief flooded her whole body. She had been dreading the training, so uneasy and disturbed by the CPR, by what she would have to do but she did it. Granted her hands ached, her shoulders were stiff and her head was still pounding but she managed to get through it. She stretched out her hand to reach for Taron’s and stepped closer to him, the first decent and smooth breath leaving her body in hours.

“You did it.” Taron whispered to her. “Always knew you could.”

Aiden could see that Robyn was very spooked and paler than she had been and walked over to pick up two of the chairs and placed one each behind Taron and Robyn. “Please sit.” He said to both of them, so glad to see Taron helping Robyn to sit on the chair, guiding her down and keeping a tight grip on her hand. “Take your time and some easy breathes.”

Robyn was so thankful for the chair to sit on as her legs were like jelly and following Aiden’s advice, took some deep breathes and after about fifteen, could look to the two men beside her. Taron’s face was easy to read and she could see the same relief in his eyes that she felt and even with Aiden beside her, she had no hesitation when it came to wrapping her two arms around his right side and hugging him tight.

“Thank you.”

“So proud of you.” He returned to hug, tucking her head under his chin.

“You got through it.” Aiden agreed.

“I hated every minute.”

“Of course you did. Why would you enjoy it especially when you have had to do it on Taron.”

“My hands won’t stop shaking.” Even though Robyn had locked her fingers together around Taron’s waist, they were still trembling.

“A natural response to what you have done though you may have went a little too hard.” Aiden smiled at her a little. “You really didn’t break any of his ribs?”

“Not one.”

Aiden sat back on his heels. “So unusual.”

“The doctor was a bit perplexed too but I know I am grateful. The bruises on my chest were enough.” Taron replied to the trainer.

“I bet.” Aiden looked to Robyn. “You should go home.” He said kindly. “That was hard for you and I can see it has really shaken you. Go home, get into bed and get some sleep. I am sure you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a few days. It’s done now and when you have to face the training again, it will be much easier to you. Now it’s still quite raw and you need to just take it easy for the rest of the weekend.”

“I want to stay.” Robyn let go of Taron and sat up a little straighter. “The CPR was what I was dreading.” She felt Taron’s body stiffen a little as she said she wanted to stay and another round of guilt filled her as once again she knew she was putting him through a little bit of hell. “I know going home is what I should do but I still need to face some things in the course and while we are here and I am on a roll, I may as well continue.”

“Too much of a bad thing can hurt you.”

“I like to push myself.”

“I have noticed.” Aiden said, taking a look to Taron hoping for some help.

“I am very much on the side of going home but she is stubborn and to be honest, if Robyn wants to finish the course, face some demons, then I am here for her to do so and I think it might be good for me too.” Taron looked to Robyn and could see the slight surprise in her face. “It is up to you.” So proud of her for going through with the CPR, although it was difficult and she probably needed to go home and rest and sleep, him too, he also knew that Robyn couldn’t change her ways in the space of four hours. “You know my opinion and you know I value yours and I told you I would be right here for you for the rest of today.”

“I think I should stay, finish the course and not go home and over think things too much. I have all of this evening and tomorrow to do that. It honestly was the CPR I feared but I managed to get through it. I didn’t think I could.”

“It was always going to be a tough ask and if you feel staying is the right decision for you, then please stay. It always helps sometimes to face these training courses head on but you have made the first steps to properly comprehend the experience you went through. The second, is talking to someone.” Aiden reached out to gently touch her knee. “It will do you the world of good and Penny is such a wonderful therapist.”

Robyn nodded. “I think I would like to do that.” She agreed. “Talk to someone.”

Aiden smiled. “I can give you the phone number.”

“Great. Thanks.”

All three heads turned as a phone rang and both Aiden and Taron looked back to Robyn who still kept her face turned towards the ringing. It was the creche phone and she stood up, letting Taron’s hands fall from her and stepped over the small chair to the back of the room to pick up the phone.

“Hello, Happy Days, Robyn speaking.” She listened to the caller on the phone, making her way back over to Taron, placing her free hand on his shoulder. “Yeah sure. Just let me head down to the office so I can take some of your details.” Robyn gave Taron’s shoulder a light squeeze and made her way out of the playroom.

Once out of earshot and hearing the door close upstairs, Taron looked to the trainer. “Be honest with me. Out of ten, ten being the bad side of the scale, how bad is this.” He gestured towards the door Robyn had walked out of.

“Maybe a four, five at a push.” Aiden took the chair beside him. “She will be fine.” He saw the look the young man gave her. “I know I don’t know her very well, only ever having met her at her first aid training but she is a very strong willed and resilient woman and if she can come in and do that CPR, even though it was horrible to watch, she can get through this and will do so quickly and easily. I have seen a change in her since you arrived and I have a feeling if you are around her and talk to her, she will listen to you but it is something she needs to do, you as well, to fully recover from the trauma you both went through.” Aiden placed his hand on Taron’s shoulder. “Today was the first step for her and maybe has broken a recurring cycle with how she deals with her emotions. I saw it a lot as a paramedic, how people can hold everything in until they have that expected breakdown.”

“I don’t want that for her.” Taron ran his hands down his face. “But she is so stubborn.”

“I think a lot changed for her today Taron. As tough as it was, I think it opened her eyes to what she was doing to herself, how she was treating you and her work colleagues.” Aiden moved his second hand to Taron’s other shoulder. “Penny had a lot of experience with this type of trauma. She works at the hospital I used to work at for the paramedics who found coping with the aftermath of CPR very difficult and really has a way of getting people to open up about what they experienced. A few sessions would give Robyn such a sense of clarity and relief.” He saw Taron nod. “Here…” Aiden stood up and walked to the shelf to his right and picked up a post it and a pen. “This is her number. She can be very busy, normally pretty booked up but if you mention making an appointment as a favour for me, you will get one for Robyn easily.” Aiden walked back and handed the number to him. “It would be great if you could manage to get a session together too. Even one. I can see you are troubled by what happened too.”

Taron looked at number in his hands. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you go and take the lunch break to actually sit down and relax for a bit. We are taking the hour break and there is about forty minutes left. Go find Robyn. Make her a hot drink with sugar in it.” Aiden gave a small smile. “Helps with the shock. Make one for you too.”

Taron got to his feet and put the paper in his pocket. “Yeah I will do. Thanks again.”

“She will be fine Taron.” Aiden assured him. “You too.”

“I know.” Taron bent down to pick up his jumper. “Together we always are. Thank you again.” He headed out the door and made his way down the stairs, following the sound of Robyn’s voice and into the office where she sat on her chair, writing on some paper. He placed a hand on her shoulder which she acknowledged with a squeeze of her hand and looked to him, nodding towards the other leather chair. He dropped himself into it and slid down a little so he could rest his head back against the seat, a very long relieved sigh coming from him as he closed his eyes. Still needing to have that conversation with Robyn, he felt so much more comfortable now that the CPR was done and could already feel some of his own tension leave his body. Relief flooded him as he knew the hardest part of the day was done. He had an inkling that his chat later with her would be a quick one as he could already see the shame in her face every time she looked to him, how she got so upset and apologised profusely for ignoring him and had a feeling he was going to see a change in her. Leaning further back into the chair, Taron felt like he could definitely nap in the chair and when two hands slipped onto the crown of his head and scratched his scalp, he inclined back some more.

Robyn was confused by the phone call, wondering who would call a creche on a Saturday but took the call, shaking her head at Emma who offered to take the phone, and sat in her chair writing down the details of the enquiry, quickly explaining to the woman on the phone that they did not open on the weekends but just happened to be doing a training course which was why someone was around to take the call on a Saturday. The gentle and soothing hand on her shoulder was so lovely and she knew it was Taron, glad to see him sit in the other leather chair as she had asked him too, her eyes following him as he flopped into the seat and closed his eyes, hearing his heavy sigh. She turned her attention back to the phone call, so happy to hit the red end call button after a few minutes more and placed the phone down.

Still sitting with his eyes closed, Taron looked exhausted. More guilt swamped her as she thought about the early journey he had to make to get to her, trying to imagine how he managed to change his schedule to be with her. Robyn only worked eight-hour days and could go home and sleep for the other sixteen if she wanted. Taron worked stupidly long hours with a lot less opportunity for sleeping and it showed on his weary face. She stood up and walked over to Emma’s chair, standing behind it, her hands going straight for his head, applying an easy deep pressure with her fingers.

“We have a first aid course to go back to.” He murmured.

“I have a first aid course to go back to. How about I drive you to mine and you can get some sleep?”

So reluctantly Taron moved, Robyn’s hands falling from his head and he swung the chair around so he could look her way. “Absolutely not. I told you I would stay with you and I am going too.”

“Taron you don’t…” Robyn stopped when he gave her his best scowl. “I very much would like that.”

His scowl changed to a small smile. “See, not that hard to ask for help, is it?”

Robyn shook her head, inwardly smiling at his words. “I just need to pop out to my car for a few minutes. I need something. You wanna come with me? You could catch a quick nap in the chair.”

“You know I love a good nap but no thanks. The chair isn’t as comfy as it looks for sleeping. I will go with you.”

“Ok. I just need to get my keys. Give me two seconds.”

Robyn left him in the office for less than ten seconds so she could collect her keys from her locker and met him at the office door. “Wanna bring your jumper? It’s an Irish summer which means the weather is cold.”

Taron nodded and took four steps back to grab his jumper from the desk where he had left it and let Robyn lead the way out of the building and towards her car. She stopped at the boot and once had it unlocked and opened, pulled up the compartment cover for the spare wheel and with purposeful focus, went straight for a small hidden panel, opening it and pulled a pack of cigarettes out, along with a purple lighter. She left the boot open and sat on the edge of her car, feeling it move as Taron sat beside her. She lifted the lid of the pack and inside where eleven sticks.

“Robyn…” Taron was so taken back to see what she was holding.

“My emergency stash.” She explained pulling out one white cigarette, throwing the box into the boot. “Sometimes, I just need one.” She placed the cigarette between her lips and sheltering the lighter, lit it, closing her eyes and slowly inhaling as that first hit of nicotine hit her system, dropping the lighter into the boot beside her.

“Thought you quit.”

“Oh I have. First one in over five years.” Robyn looked to him. “I just need one.”

“Want to share and it can be half of one?” He asked holding his hand out for the cigarette.

“Thought you quit?” She countered but still handed it over.

“A problem shared is a problem halved.” He answered her, lifting the cigarette to his lips. “God it has been a while.” Taron coughed a little before going for a second smoke handing it back to Robyn who took it gratefully.

“Please don’t tell my mother or Claire or Jane if you meet her again or Emma.”

Taron laughed a little at her list. “Pretty sure Emma knows chicken. You are sitting in the open boot of your car and I am sure the whisps of smoke can be seen.” He accepted the cigarette from her.

“Ok well don’t tell my mother or father.” She changed her words. “You should put your jumper on. Your arms are cold again.” She took the cigarette back as Taron stood up to pull his jumper back over his head, sitting beside her again, happily accepting the last of the smoke that was left.

“Deal, if you promise not to mention it to my parents too.”

“Deal.”

Taron dropped the but on the ground and used the toe of his boot to extinguish it, smiling as Robyn pulled a packet of chewing gum from another hidden pocket in her car. “Thank you.” He said to her as she dropped two pieces onto his palm.

“Welcome. Thanks for coming out with me, for sharing one with me. I just needed it.”

“You don’t have to explain it to me. No pianos close to us.” He said as he stood up and in front of her. “We have about half an hour before we have to be back upstairs. Any chance of a cup of coffee? I can feel my energy levels quickly fading.”

“Sure of course.” Robyn stood and once she was sure Taron was clear of the boot, slammed it closed, locking it. “You must be so tired.”

“Just like you.” He nodded as they walked together back toward the front door of the creche.

“Pretty tired.” She agreed, typing in the code for the creche. “You can sit in the office if you want while I make your coffee. No need for all the stares again.” Robyn was so concerned about her work colleagues and what they would say in front of Taron.

“I can handle them chicken. You have met my friends right?”

Robyn laughed a little as she opened the door, holding it open so he could walk in too. “True.” She closed the door and headed for the kitchen, hearing the light banter fade out as Taron followed her in. She went straight for the kettle and took it from its perch to fill it with water.

“We were just talking about the shitty weather. It is supposed to last until the middle of next week.” Lisa turned in her chair so she could look at Robyn. “And here we were thinking we could try and have a picnic outside next week for the kids.”

Taron leaned against the counter beside Robyn, waiting with her for the kettle to boil, glad to hear her friend keep the conversation going, trying to ease the slightly awkward atmosphere.

“Typical Irish summer.” Robyn agreed.

“I have been here before when the weather was beautiful though.” Taron said looking to Lisa. “Last September.”

The girls laughed a little, everyone speaking together. “Schools back.”

Taron looked to Robyn for some help, feeling he was definitely missing an inside joke. “When the schools start, the weather is always lovely. This is just normal June weather.” She turned when she heard the kettle click off. “Usual way?” She asked him reaching up to open the press and take a cup out.

“Please.” After Robyn closed the press, he raised his own hand to take a second cup out. “I think you need something warm.” He said. “Tea bags?” Robyn took some side steps to her right and opened another press, taking out the coffee jar and a tea bag, handing the bag to him. “Can I make you a cup?”

“Sure.”

She wasn’t going to argue with him, liking the idea of having something warm to drink and once she had filled both cups with the hot water, Taron made her tea while she sorted out his coffee. She walked to the fridge to grab the milk carton and when her back was turned, Taron took his opportunity to add two heaped spoons of sugar into the hot water in her cup, stirring it quickly. She would always take some sugar but not the amount he had put in but heeding the advice of the paramedic to give her something sweet, he added an extra spoon.

Robyn was so thankful to hear Lisa start the conversation back up again with the girls in the kitchen, talking about some TV series she had started to watch, finally the tense atmosphere lifting, and once beside Taron, she opened the milk and added some to his cup, handing the carton to Taron so he could pour some into her tea.

“Sugar?” She asked him.

“Please. Two.”

“Two?” She asked turning to him.

“Think I need the sugar.”

“Sure.”

Once both hot drinks were made, Robyn handed Taron his while she took her cup from him, the heat already soaking into her hands. Taron immediately took a sip of his coffee, his eyes closing with happiness.

“Perfect.” He nodded as he took another drink. He kept his eyes on Robyn as she took her own drink and was sure she noticed the extra sweetness to her tea but she never said anything.

“Wanna go sit?” She asked him.

“Please.” In other circumstances, Taron was sure he would have been very happy to sit and have a chat with Robyn’s work colleagues and friends but right now his brain just could not even begin to think about being on his guard with what he said or listen to giddiness. He was just too fatigued to have to concentrate so was very happy to move to Robyn’s office just to sit with her but when she walked past the office and down the hallway he was confused. “Robyn?”

“Trust me. I have a little secret hideaway.”

He followed her as she walked to the door at the end of the hallway and into another one of the playrooms, feeling even more confused when she continued to walk towards the two glass doors, opening one to head for the garden. She stood holding the door open for him and once he was outside, she closed it.

“I know I shouldn’t ask but the garden?”

“Hold my cup for a second.” Robyn handed him her cup and walked away from him to the garden shed.

Taron knew well he shouldn’t question her or sometimes the strange things she did without explaining herself but when she walked out of the shed with a blue check picnic blanket, he knew his over tiredness was really kicking in. The weather was just not right for an outdoor picnic. His eyes followed her as she made her way towards the small brown play house with yellow windows and a door and she bent her head to get inside and a minute later she came out.

“Wanna come inside?” She asked him smiling.

His smile grew and he walked to the house. “Really?”

“It is the one place we are guaranteed full privacy without prying eyes and listening ears.”

“And you think I will fit in here?”

“You fitted on the chair; you will fit in here. Come on in. Give me the cups.” Robyn took the two steaming cups from him and moved back, settling herself onto the picnic mat, leaning her back against the plastic wall.

Taron ducked his head and hunched down to get into the house, getting to his knees before he turned over to sit down and shuffled backwards.

“Were you born in a barn?” Robyn asked him.

“What?”

“You left the door open.”

Taron exhaled loudly and moved so he could close the door and then sat back beside her, accepting the cup. “Better?”

“Much.” Robyn took a sip from her tea, the liquid much too sweet for her but knew there had been a reason why he had asked her to make her tea, the reason the extra sugar in her cup. Needed for her shaking hands and dipped energy levels, Robyn took another drink.

“So secret hideaway?” Taron asked after he drank a long sip of his coffee. “Tell me how many times have you sat in here on a picnic blanket with all the windows and door closed.”

“Not once.” She replied. “Been in here with a pile of kids but this is a first.” She saw him grin. “So how is work?”

Taron turned so he could look at her. “Really Robyn, you were never one for small talk.” Biting her lower lip, she gave him a side glance. “Why don’t we just sit in that comfortable silence we always manage to sit in.” He lifted his right arm so he could wrap it around her shoulder, his cup in his left hand. “Plenty of time later and don’t tell me you are sorry. We have been there already this morning and it is something I know. I know you are.” He moved a little closer to her. “Drink your tea.”

“Ok.”

It was a nice and quiet fifteen minutes and when the rain started to fall and hit the roof of the playhouse, it made Robyn smile. It was one of her favourite sounds, though she had to admit it was more fun listening to the rain being cosy in her bed rather than a slightly windy and cold playhouse but at least there was some warmth coming from Taron.

“So, this is actually a pretty decent hideout. Keeps the rain out.” He said to her.

“We have used it before to shelter in during heavy rain showers when we are outside with the kids.”

“Could do with some central heating though.” Taron nudged her.

“Cold?”

“I am glad of the jumper.”

“Cosy bed waiting for us at home.” Robyn blushed bright pink. “I mean… Ah Jesus. It’s just contagious now.”

“I am not going to lie to you, I am excited for some sleep.” Taron, though feeling a quite beat in his heart at her words, chose to not linger on them.

“How is work?” She asked him again.

“It is really good. Long shoot last night. The scene was tricky and I didn’t know my lines very well so a lot of bumbling through it but like I said, Matthew was delighted with it.”

“I am so glad to hear that and you can get a good nights sleep tonight.” She added.

“And you too? Have you been having any more nightmares?” Taron moved so he could turn to look at her better.

“Not one.” She saw his face turn. “I promise. My nightmares have become day terrors instead but when I finished…” She swallowed the lump in her throat and started again. “When I finished the CPR, it wasn’t you under my hands but the mannequin. I have just been seeing you everywhere when I keep my eyes open, never mind asleep. I think maybe that might change now after this morning.”

“I sure hope so.”

“Me too.” Robyn tucked her hands under her arms. “Definitely could do with some heating in here.”

“I guess my electric blanket is not switched on properly.” Taron joked as he took his arm from around her shoulder and reached for her right hand, pulling it a little so her could get it out from under her hand and holding it in his two, rubbing it lightly to create some heat. “I saw you were wearing your bracelet.”

“I wear it all the time. I love it.” Robyn was so glad of Taron’s warm hands on her cold right one but figuring it was nearly time to head back inside she stopped his hands and checked his watch under his jumper. “We should make a move.”

“And leave our secret playhouse?” He chuckled.

“Has to be done I am afraid.”

“I like it in here.”

“I figured you would. I just wanted somewhere that we couldn’t be seen. The office was too close to the kitchen, the car was easy to see in and upstairs, well yeah not so much.”

“I get it chicken. It is hard enough being here at the training and knowing everyone is talking about you without you actually seeing them talk about you and me appearing suddenly has probably not helped that either.”

“I am very glad you did come. I don’t know if I told you that. So very glad.”

“I know.”

“I am sorry I didn’t…”

“And no Robyn. We are not going back there. I have told you many times, no more sorries and as much as you needed me here, I think I needed to be here too. It’s something we both needed. Now let’s head back inside and finish off this training.”

#Love #Friendship #CPR #Angst #Hurt #Emotions #Worry #Life Saving Skills #Training #Trust #Opening up #Talking #Acceptance #Life Lessons #Robyn and Taron

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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Something Just Like This - CH19

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester, mobster boss. He’s a little cocky, a lot ruthless and more often than not, short tempered. But he’s also, Dean Winchester, a war veteran and hero who suffers under a shit ton of PTS. He met her in a bar and thinks it’s fate that brought her to him. Little does he know why she’s really here.

Warning: NSFW

WC: 3186

SERIES MASTERLIST

Dean drives Y/N home to his place because she still has her car there. And it’s hard to concentrate next to him because he has his shirt folded back, revealing his forearm in the process. She can see every vein, every muscle moving, every freckle on the skin she knows is soft, can see the tense in his jaw when the traffic is slow.

He tilts his head towards her when he sees her watching him, smiles a little and rests his hand on her thigh, squeezing and stroking her. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” She lies.

Because that’s the thing. She can’t possibly say that she loves him, can she? Love is such a strong word but she enjoys being with him, enjoys his hands on her, his fingers in her. Enjoys how he can annoy the fuck out of her, enjoys that she can wind him up. Enjoys the way he talks to her in bed. Enjoys how much he cares because nobody did ever care. Not the same level as he does.

Dean raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything, just keeps on driving. That’s also something she likes. The way he never questions her further when he knows that she doesn’t want to talk about it.

He parks in the garage and they get out. “You coming up before you leave? I need to ask you something.”

She wonders what he wants to ask her. Is he breaking up with her? Because that would be a lame move to fuck her first. “Yeah, sure.”

All her worries subside when he crowds her against the elevator wall and smiles down at her before he kisses her soft and sweet.

Y/N knows that she should be leaving now since she needs to go home to get changed and there’s still Linda she needs to talk to before she has to be back at the Roadhouse. They step inside and immediately Cuddles comes running towards her, meows until she picks him up and strokes his head.

“Right.” Dean huffs out, “He’s apparently your cat now.”

“Shush,” She says, rubs her nose to the cats. “I’m just nicer to him and call him by his name.”

“So the thing I want to talk to you about,” Dean takes off a key from his key chain. “I have to go out of town to check on some logistics. I’ll be back in a day, two tops.”

“Okay?” She sends him a questioning look. Wonders why he’s telling her that.

“Would it be okay for you to check up on him?” He points his chin towards Cuddles.

“Dean, he has a name!”

“Fine,” Dean rolls his eyes. “Would you please look after Cuddles when I’m gone?”

“Uh..” She pretends to think about it. “Yeah, sure.”

Dean exhales heavily.

Did he really think she wouldn’t do it?

“Great,” He says, “You could maybe come here after your shift, and I don’t know, stay until you have to go in again so you don’t have to drive around that much.”

It’s more of a mumble the way he talks, and she thinks it’s cute.

“Okay, sounds good.”

He smiles, “Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Okay,” He hands the key to her and some device kinda thing. “This one’s to get into the garage. And that’s the key to the apartment. I’ll restock the fridge. Feel free to use everything you want.”

“Wait, you don’t have any cameras set up to watch me while I’m here, do you? Like hypothetically, if I would dance around naked, would you see that? Would that be on the internet?”

He laughs, “No, I don’t.” He kisses her forehead and Cuddles let out a little hiss. “Hey, you’re supposed to be my cat!” He tells the cat but then turns his attention to her. “Although I’d love to see you dancing naked around my apartment. No, but you’re safe.”

“Good,” She breathes relief.

“I have someone watching you, though. So don’t freak out about that.”

“Adam?”

“No.”

“Awe, I quite liked Adam.”

“You don’t even know Adam.”

“But I would like to get to know him.” She grins and winks.

Cuddles jumps out of her arm, walks over to his food and Dean takes the opportunity to grab her around her waist to pull her closer. “You wanna make me jealous?”

“Are you?” She wraps her arms around his neck, kisses his jaw, working her way up to his lips.

“Dammit, I can never let you leave if you don’t stop this.”

“Alright, alright.” She snorts out a laugh, and they part but he’s still holding her close.

***

She goes home to pack her things, because she’s going to be staying at Dean’s for a couple of nights until he’s back. While she does some packing, she calls Linda and puts her on speaker.

“Wow, you’re still alive!” Linda says and it’s good that she can’t see Y/N rolling her eyes.

“I was just busy, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I heard from Meg, she said Winchester talked about you and thinks very highly of you.”

Y/N bites on her bottom lip. So Meg is Miss unicorn bikini. “You brought Meg into this? Where is she working?”

“Yeah, we had to. It’s better to have all fronts covered. She’s working in one of Crowley’s club. Doesn’t really specializes on Winchester but also on the others who frequent there.”

“What did Winchester say about me?” She closes her eyes, hopes that Meg didn’t tell Linda about things Y/N doesn’t want her to know.

“Just that he’s probably very attracted to you.”

Ah.

“I mean, he’s a good looking guy.” She says then.

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you have a crush on him? I’d have to pull you out.”

“No, no. It’s not like that.”

“Good. Listen, I’m trying to get someone into his organization. Like for real.”

“Don’t.” Y/N says. “Not now.”

“Why’s that?”

“Listen, I know that there’s a snitch. Someone’s working as a double agent for Lucifer and Winchester. He found out and now he doesn’t trust anyone. It wouldn’t be wise to get someone in right now.”

“You’re probably right.” Linda says, her voice is surprisingly calm but adds, “Where do I place this guy though?”

“Who?”

“Arthur Ketch. He came as a weird exchange thing between us and the MI6. They promised him some great adventure.”

“Ugh.” Y/N exhales.

“You can pretend he’s your estranged brother from another mother who went to live with relatives in England.”

“Linda,” It’s a warning. “No. Find something else for him.”

She can hear the older woman breathing out. “I know. I’ll try, the pressure from above grows.”

“I’ll try my best on my end, okay? Please give me time. Any news about the big coup?” Y/N asks, kind of trying to avert the conversation away from the subject of Dean and her.

“Meg found out that it’s been postponed back a couple of months. Something with logistics and not finding the right people on time.”

Oh, that’s why Dean has to go and check for himself.

“Okay, will you update me? I’ll try to listen around here too.”

“Of course. Take care, alright?”

“I will, Linda.”

She hangs up, puts her phone on the charger and continues packing. She doesn’t feel good lying to Linda. Not at all. But she can’t not lie about it.

Y/N sighs. It’s a fucking mess.

***

Around 9PM, Dean walks in with Cas and she’s a bit taken aback because she didn’t think she’d be seeing him for a couple of days.

He smiles when he walks towards the bar.

Y/N sees that he’s changed his pants, probably because he has to look presentable and should avoid wearing pants with stains on them. Not that he ever did not look presentable, though.. And right about now? He looks like a fucking main course and it’s not fair. Not fair that he has to leave, and not fucking fair that even though she’s been fucked twice in 24hours that she still wants more, feels empty on the inside and as soon as she sees Dean, she starts to clench down there and it’s around nothing.

It’s a whole new feeling. She never had this before. Never enjoyed sex that much, and to be fair, none of her previous partners made her feel the way Dean makes her feel. And that again, ain’t fucking fair.

He nods at the guy in black who’s been here and has watched her since her shift started. She didn’t bother to ask him for a name.

“Why the pout?” Dean asks when he came to stand beside her, his fingers pushing under her chin, tilting her head up.

“I’m frustrated.” She says, because it’s the truth.

There’s a crease between his eyebrows, he also purses his lips, making his dimples shown. “About what?”

“That you look so good,” She mumbles, and adds, “And that you’re leaving.”

Dean thumbs over her pout, pushes the finger between her teeth when she opens her mouth for him. “Fuck,” He mutters, “You certainly aren’t making it easy for me either. And you’re wearing a damn skirt again.”

“Well, welcome to my world.” And then it’s like she only realizes it now that Dean had no business being here when he should be leaving, so she asks, “Why are you here?”

“Came to get Ash. Well, actually, Ash could have come over himself but I wanted to see you.” He says it like it’s the most normal thing, without turning red or anything and that, frustrates her, too.

She raises an eyebrow at that and he chuckles, thumbing at it to bring it down again before he bends down to kiss her. “Where’s Ellen?”

“She’s having a headache, and went to lie down for an hour.”

“And Ash?”

She shrugs, “Haven’t seen him.”

“Okay, wait here.” He says, and walks through the door in the back.

Y/N takes another order, taps some more beer. She can see Castiel talking to the man in black. They seem to be deep in conversation and she wonders what they’re talking about.

Dean walks back into the bar, his grip around Ash’s collar. “Ash here will take over for a while, aren’t you, Ash?”

Ash looks at Dean and her and then something clicks in him. “Oh, yeah, sure. But not too long, we should be leaving, you know that.”

Dean is holding out a hand for her, “Come on,” He mouths at her, and she can’t hide the smile that spreads on her face.

He pushes through the door, walks straight to Ash’s room all while pulling her behind. And damn him and his long legs. She has trouble keeping up.

“What are we doing here?”

Dean closes the door before he attacks her mouth, kissing her roughly, his big palms cradling her face.

He loosens the grip on her then, his hands working between them, unbuttoning his suit jacket and takes it off while his lips are still attached to hers.

Their breathing gets heavy and Dean breaks the kiss, making them take a deep breath to collect themselves.

“What do you want?” He asks her.

She’s a little startled by the question. “What?”

“I’ll give you everything you want, just tell me what you want.” He talks low, it’s almost a whisper.

Shit, what does she want? She wants him. That’s what she wants.

Y/N’s hands travel down his body, palms at his dick through his pants and he lets out a broken moan at the touch.

“I want you to fuck me,” She breathes out.

“Christ!” Dean curses, “We don’t have time to prepare you properly.” He says it like it’s a fact and then he looks around. “And Ash’s room is kinda filthy. I was hoping you’d say that you want me to eat you out.” And then it’s as if she can see that his brain is working, thinks about what to do next and comes up with a plan, as if she can see the bulb lighting up above his head. “Okay, okay.”

Dean walks to Ash’s bed, unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants down past his knees along with his underwear. He sits on the bed, signaling for her to come over. His cock is rock hard and leaking. Looks delicious actually and she’d love to have a taste. She never went down on him, never had the chance really because he’d always put her first. And even if she could now, she knows that there’s no time because she’s selfish, she wants it inside of her.

He spits in his hand, strokes himself as he waits, his fingers twist at the tip, it’s mesmerizing to watch. “Get rid of the skirt,” His voice is deep.

Y/N pushes her skirt down, steps out of them, hooks her fingers through her panties but he interrupts her.

“No, leave them on. Come here.”

She walks closer and he lifts up her top, kisses her belly. Her hands are in his hair when he looks up, “You’re so beautiful.”

It sends goosebumps throughout her body.

He rubs her through her panties with one hand, his fingers stroking at her crotch. “Are you wet enough? Fuck, I would eat you out if we had time.”

“We don’t, so sit back and let me, alright?” She says, a grin on her face.

“So fucking bratty.” He snorts and helps her climb up onto his lap.

Y/N pushes her panties aside, he keeps her upright, one of his hands behind her back and the other on her ass. She takes him into her hands, enjoys the feel of it and then she starts to stroke him a little.

Dean breathes hard, “Baby, I don’t think I’ll last. You just turn me on so fucking much. If you keep doing that, I’ll come before I’m inside of you.”

“Okay, okay.. Alright,” She says, panting too. Taking his cock, she places it at her entrance, rubs it over her wetness a couple of times. It feels so good. So good that she’s losing herself in the motion.

“Will you please, for the love of god, sit on my cock? What you’re doing is pure torture.” He whines and it’s desperate and cute, she almost laughs out loud.

Slowly, she sits down, let the head of his dick breach her entrance and she breathes heavily, balancing out the stretch she feels.

“Just—” His voice comes out choked, “Fuck— Just go as deep as you want. I’m okay with whatever you want.”

She nods, bottom lip between her teeth as she sinks lower, tries to get him as deep as she can without any preparation. It burns and stings a little when he’s halfway in and she sees him squinting his eyes, his hands behind her gripping at her flesh. He’s trying his best not to fuck up into her, she knows that.

“Okay,” Y/N says, “Okay,” She moves up and down, trying to take in more with each downward movement. She knows that there’s not enough time but she wants to take all of him in, so badly.

“You’re doing great, baby. That’s it, you’re fine. I got you.” Dean tries to encourage her.

When she indeed succeeds in sitting down completely, she chuckles out a laugh. Beams from ear to ear. “Oh, wow,” She says, her breathing is heavy.

“Christ, you feel so fucking good, baby.” Dean pushes a strand of hair out of her face, kisses her, and rests his forehead on hers. “Just go as fast or as slow as you want, alright?”

She nods, “Yeah, okay.”

His hands are back on her ass, spanks her once and she yelps up in surprise. “More?”

“More.” She answers, riding him slow and deep.

Dean spanks her two times in a row, his palm big and heavy on her ass as he massages at it after. “You’re incredible, you know that, right?”

She moans as his cock hits the right spot, tries to angle her hips some more. “Oh fuck,” she breathes, closes her eyes and he presses his lips to her throat.

“Yeah, right there. That’s it. Good girl.” He whispers, low and dirty, it shouldn’t turn her on so much but it does.

“Dean,” She says and her fingers find her clit. “I’m—”

One of his hands fly behind her neck, pulling her face closer when he talks, “—That’s alright, sweetheart, come for me, but open your eyes, I wanna see you.”

It’s like he’s turning a switch on the inside of her, she looks at him, but doesn’t really see him. Her vision is blurred as she comes with a high pitched moan.

“Good girl,” He praises again and god, she can never get enough of his praises. “Where do you want me to come? In you? Make you feel my cum leaking out of you and run down your legs for the rest of the night?”

She blushes at the image but yes, it is exactly what she wants. Never in a million year had she thought that she could be this nasty. Could be this turned on by someone talking to her like he does and yet, here she is, “Oh god, please.”

Her hands are in his hair, pulling him close to kiss him and he comes, quiet but heavy, shuddering all over.

His head rests on her chest and they’re holding each other.

“Fuck,” It’s the first thing he says.

“What?”

He breathes out a laugh. “I just imagined you serving people with my cum trickling down your thighs and wished that I could stay to see that.”

She punches his shoulder, laughs a little too. “Right, you should be going.”

Dean tightens his grip around her waist, “I don’t wanna,”

“Dean Winchester, you have a business to run.”

“Alright, alright,” He breathes, kisses her nose and makes her stand up from his lap. “You should lose your underwear, it’s just in the way of my cum dripping down.” But then his face changes, and he adds, “No, actually, don’t. Can’t stand the thought of you serving drinks in a skirt without panties.”

They walk out into Chaos. The bar filled up and even Cas is now helping out Ash behind the bar because Ash works really really slow.

“Thank fucking god,” Ash says, throws the towel he had over his shoulder into the sink and raises his hand dramatically, “I quit!”

Castiel was by their side. “We need to leave if we want to make it on time, Dean.”

Dean nods, knowing that Castiel is right. Ash’s already halfway through the front door and Castiel follows him.

Y/N’s back at serving behind the bar when Dean comes up and hugs her from behind, and she turns around in his grip.

“You have the key?” He asks.

“Yes.”

“The device for the garage?”

“Yes.”

“You know where the cat food is?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll be alright?”

“Yes.”

“Am I stalling?”

She laughs, “Yes.”

“Okay,” He kisses her, once, twice. Chaste, soft. “Be good.”

“Always.”

CH20

#something just like this #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester smut #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fan fic #mobster!dean #nathalie writes

262 notes · View notes

selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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nevernotwriting · 3 years

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You, Me, and Yancy | Chapter 3: Night at the Museum

Read me on AO3!

Previous chapter

You and Mark spent the rest of the day planning your heist. You combed over every inch of the blueprints you created, right from the air vent entrance on the roof to the sewers underneath. Jasmine even took the liberty of fetching takeout for you just before she left, though you weren’t sure you’d be able to stomach it.

Before you knew it, it was 8:45PM; time to go. You and Mark agreed to make your own ways there and meet up inside the museum, leaving you to your own devices to get into the building. This panicked you at first, but Mark squeezed your hand reassuringly before departing.

You made it to the museum just after 9PM, hoping you didn’t look too suspicious riding the metro dressed in all black with a satchel full of clanging heist equipment. Not the most stylish way of arriving, you thought, but it was better than a security camera catching your car’s license plate.

You crouched outside the museum in the bushes, gently pushing aside the leaves and peeking forward. Right on schedule, a guard walked past the entrance, idly whistling a tune to himself as he went. With eyes trained on him like a hawk, you waited until he was out of sight before taking a confident leap out of the bushes and running towards the building with light footsteps.

You looked up, readying your grappling gun you’d already taken out of your bag. The vent was on the roof, many, many feet directly above you.

Your stomach lurched. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you launched the hook. Before you could even talk yourself out of it, you were shooting through the air, stone and metal whizzing past your eyes as the breeze picked up and chilled your bones.

You made it onto the roof with a slight stumble, but you were unscathed. Your heart was hammering and your legs felt like jelly, but Jasmine was right; you’d never felt more alive. Maybe this was going to be fun.

Sure enough, the vent you needed was right in front of you. You took the cover off and crawled in, pausing for a moment to remember which way you needed to go.

Forward. Just straight forward. That’s right.

You shimmied onward, trying to stay quiet as you passed a few grates. At the end, you found the grate you needed. You pried it open, landing on your feet when you exited.

Not bad for a rookie, you thought to yourself.

You scoped out your surroundings. You were right where you were supposed to be, so you took a second to catch your breath. The only thing missing now was Mark, but he’d be here any minute now.

A distant Tarzan wail caught your attention. You turned to your left, only just managing to shield your eyes as Mark leapt through the roof and sent shards of glass flying everywhere. He stumbled the landing but barely flinched. You didn’t even have time to freak out about the noise he made before he launched into a speech.

“All right, you know the plan, right? Pfft, what am I saying, you practically wrote it!” He grinned at you. Your ears still twitched, listening for guards running to investigate the broken roof, but so far, nothing and no one had stirred. Either Mark was extremely lucky, or overconfident in his entrance.

The two of you ran things over one more time before he got ready to leap off once more, casting you an uncharacteristically dark look.

“Now, stick to the plan, and you’ll be just fine. But if you deviate from it for even a single moment, I won’t come back for you. Okay? Good luck!”

He shot you a devilish wink just before he grappled away, letting you know he was just messing with you. You appreciated the humour on your first heist, and you felt your nerves dissipate as you moved to the next phase of the plan. You could tell Mark was showing off for you at times, performing unnecessary cartwheels and somersaults to evade the guards. He grinned at you from behind his cover as you threw a baseball to distract a guard, and pointed friendly finger guns as he swung away yet again to get the key needed for the vault.

It took all your strength not to squeal in delight as you fed the guard dog the gigantic steak you’d packed in your bag. You snuck the keys from her jacket as she closed her mouth round the meat, a trail of drool following her as she happily walked away.

Okay, there was no denying it; this was a lot of fun. Sure, it was a little nerve-wracking at times, but nothing had gone wrong so far. Mark was keeping an eye out for you, just as he promised.

The heist seemed disappointingly short by the time you and Mark finally reached the artefact, but neither of you could contain the excitement on your faces as Mark shoved the box into his bag. Glory would soon be yours. You imagined Mark picking you up and swinging you round in a tight hug after you got back to HQ, high on adrenaline and filled with shared excitement for your first successful heist. Maybe he’d sweep you off your feet right then and there, take you out for dinner early to celebrate, and end the evening with a magical-

Unfortunately, your imaginary bubble was soon popped. It couldn’t all be sunshine and rainbows. The room turned red with flashing lights, alarms blaring in your ears. A look of panic streaked across Mark’s face for a split second, making your stomach tie in knots again, but it was quickly replaced by a look of deviousness. He pulled out an antique gun and… a bomb? From his bag. He gestured to the manhole to his right, then to the door you had crept in through.

“Sewer would probably work, all quiet-like, but, y’know,” he wiggled the gun and the bomb in his hands, “I like a little action.”

You couldn’t resist the look on his face, and any rational thoughts were drowned out by the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

“Let’s give ‘em hell.”

Mark let out a deep laugh from the depths of his throat. “I was hoping you’d say that. Fire in the hole!”

Before you had time to react, he launched the bomb towards the door, clouding your vision with bright flames followed by white smoke. Your ears were ringing from the noise and you nearly lost your balance, but Mark grabbed your hand and led the two of you through the plumes, both of your footsteps losing all traces of stealth as you ran together through the gunpowder exhibit. The guards soon caught up with you, sending a wave of bullets your way. The two of you dodged around wildly, picking up your pace as the exit came into view. You kept running, not looking back until the museum was out of sight. Mark held your hand until the very last second, letting go when the two of you made it onto a wide, grassy field with two convenient escape options; a helicopter, and a car.

You panted and whooped in delight. Going out guns blazing definitely hadn’t been a wise decision, but it would sure make for a good story back at HQ. Who else could say they escaped a room full of explosives on their first heist, all while being shot at?

Mark gave you the honour of choosing your escape route. Your mind was still a little scrambled from all the action, so you merely nodded towards the helicopter.

Mark sprinted towards it, eagerly motioning for you to follow as sirens sounded in the distance. However, as you came down from your adrenaline high, your lower side filled with a hot, searing pain.

Something was very wrong.

You stopped in your tracks, breath halting with dread. You looked down, unzipping your jacket. Your hand immediately dampened as you lifted your shirt, your eyes landing upon something you’d hoped wouldn’t be there.

Maybe you weren’t so lucky dodging those bullets after all. On your side was a small, round wound. Hot blood oozed out of it, sticking to your side and trailing down to your belt.

“Mark…” your mouth was dry as you croaked his name.

Mark whipped round to face you. All the previous excitement drained from his face as he took in your injury, eyes filling with horror.

“I think we might have another problem on our hands,” you quipped. You managed a weak smile before your vision blurred and your legs gave out. You hit the ground with a thud.

Mark dashed over to you, cradling your face in his hands. Your focus came and went in waves that matched the thuds emanating from your side, where your hand was still stuck in a desperate attempt to stem the bleeding. Mark’s eyes filled with tears as he tried to keep you awake.

“Oh, shit, no! Zero, come on, you gotta get up! We-we’ll get you back to HQ and get you patched up! You’ll be fine! Zero, please…”

His desperate plea was drowned out by the blaring of police sirens. The last thing you saw was Mark kneeling beside you, raising both hands above his head as the night sky filled with blue and red flashes.

Next chapter

#a heist with markiplier #ahwm #heist mark #heist mark x reader #heist! mark x reader #yancy x reader #ahwm yancy x reader #ahwm yancy #my writing #nevernotwriting

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margo99 · 4 years

Text

Assistant

Hello Everyone! I wrote another bad fic! This one is business Owner Henry and his assistant y/n. So, enjoy! and I apologize for the crappy writing in advance! Cheers! btw, this is not edited well, so I apologize for that too!

It was around 4pm and the office has started to slow down for the day as people trudged through till 5 when they could go home, but being Mr. Cavill’s assistant, you went home whenever he went home… And he just got back from a week vacation, so he had a lot of catching up to do. You on the other hand, had finished most of your work early so that you could catch him up when he came back, which means that you were in for a long night of sitting at your desk eating snacks until he called your name. You finished up replying to the last of your emails and editing a few documents your co-worker asked you to. Once that was done you hoped that Henry would be done and ready to go home at 5, but he probably wouldn’t be.

Five o’clock came around and the last the employees said their goodbyes to one another. You lifted yourself out of your desk chair and straightened your skirt, getting ready to talk to Mr. Cavill. You gingerly knocked on his door and heard a disgruntled, “come in.” You cautiously opened the door to see Henry slouched over his desk reading over something.

“Sorry to bother you sir, but I just wanted to let you know that it is 5,” you say gingerly, hoping he does not take it the wrong way, but he probably would. He looked up at you with tired eyes, and you could tell that he has been working non-stop since this morning, trying to get caught up. Mr. Cavill never took vacations, he was dedicated to running his company, but his wife insisted he take a break and join her on the beaches of Florida. When he told you, you were almost shocked that he agreed with her for once. That couple never got a long, they were a divorce waiting to happen, but Henry loved her and wanted nothing but the best for her, they just wanted different things. But you could not stand the fighting when she came to the office. They were constantly have yelling matching with each other, trying to get the last word in or hurting each other’s feelings. Mrs. Cavill always left in tears, apologizing for the noise on her way out.

Your relationship with Henry was more than just a work relationship, the two of you met in university and Henry had always told you that one day, everyone in your class would work for him. He was wrong about most of them, but he did get you right. You had been working for him ever since the company started five plus years ago, taking his calls, fetching him coffee, but he never took advantage of having and assistant or made you feel like you were worth any less than anyone else in the office until the past two years. The company started losing money and that made Henry very worried, so he started working harder and staying late more often. Eventually he stopped caring about people’s feelings and started putting all his energy into keeping the company afloat. Once it started making money again, Henry just continued to make everyone’s lives a living nightmare. He was starting to scare people, even you sometimes.

“And?” Henry questioned, “I am not finished my work for today. Do you have somewhere to be or something?” No, you thought to yourself. Where would a 26-year-old woman need to be on a Friday night, right? You shook your head and he just huffed. “Just go back to your desk and do your work until I finish these last few things.”

“But- “

“Just go!” He barked at you. You nodded your head and quickly shut the door behind you, making your way back to your desk. You were in for a long night.

The first two hours, you tried to be productive around the office, organizing the filling cabinet and cleaning the break room, but by the third hour, there was not much left to do but wait. You take down at your desk and slid your heels off, kicking your feet up on the desk and grabbing a book out of your purse to read. You sat like that for what felt like six hours, but it was really only two. It was 9pm when you heard Mr. Cavill’s office door open. You quickly pulled your feet down and shoved them back in your heels. “You’re still here?” He questioned when he saw you at your desk, “thought you’d be long gone by now.”

“I’m your assistant, it’s my job to stay in case you need… well, assistance,”you replied, stretching your arms up in the air and yawning. You checked your watch, “Oh my god it’s late.” Mr. Cavill chuckled and nodded his head.

“I was just going to get a snack from the break room, care to join?” you nod and got up out of your chair. Sitting still like you had been for 2 hours really put a strain on your back. It felt stiff as you stood up, letting out a gasp. Mr. Cavill turned his head back to see you struggling to stand, “you good?” He asked.

“Yeah, just a stiff back,” you replied, slowly making your way to the break room with him.

“Are you,” he started, but remembered that he had already asked that question, “I mean…I could give you a massage?” You looked at him in disbelief. You had never seen him at a loss for words before. “Only if you want to. I don’t want to push anything on you.” You let out a giggle and nodded your head. When you made it to the break room, you sat down at the table and Mr. Cavill came up behind you, brushing your hair over your shoulder so he had better access to your back. His massive hands gently ran up your arms and shoulders, giving them a squeeze at the top. You sighed as you felt him continue to rub your shoulders. His hands descended lower, rubbing over your shoulder blades. He leaned down you your ear and spoke very gently to you, “you are very tense, Ms. Y/L/N. Is this from all the work I ask you to do?” His fingers were like magic, gently rubbing the knots out of your muscles.

“Partially,” you breathed, “the rest is from office drama.” You were talking about him and his wife fighting all the time. More often than not you were caught in the middle of it as Mrs. Cavill tried to leave, but Henry would barge out of his office and continue yelling. You were also talking about his attitude these past two years towards his staff. He knew what you meant and let out a sigh, continuing his trail down your back, stroking it as you slowly let your body fall onto your hands, resting on the table.

“I am sorry about all the fighting. Liza and I are getting a divorce. Things are a bit messy right now,” he confessed, bringing his hands back to your shoulders, making his way up to your neck, wanting to make sure that you are fully relaxed. You felt him lean towards you, leaving a soft kiss on your shoulder, “and I’m sorry for being a complete asshole to you and to everyone else in the office.”

“Mr. Cavill,” you started, lifting your head up and looking back at him, “stop talking. You’re killing the mood.” You smiled as he laughed at your remark. He rubbed his thumbs across the knots in your neck one more time before sitting down next to you.

“How was that?”

You moan, “really nice. Thank you.” You take his hand in yours and gently stroke your thumbs against the back of it. “I’m sorry about Liza, but that isn’t a healthy relationship, you deserve so much better.”

“Like you?” He questions, you blush and look away from him. “Y/n. Look at me. I’m serious. You’ve been with me through it all.” Looking back at him you see the passion and seriousness in his eyes. He wasn’t kidding, but you couldn’t. He’s in the process of getting divorced, he’s too emotional to make a decision like this right now.

“Henry, you don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. You are the only one that has been with me through this. I need you by my side when everything goes to shit.”

You laugh, “It’s already shit.” He lets out a bellow of laughter at your remark and pulls you in for a kiss. You hesitate for a moment. You don’t want to be the girl that broke up a marriage. Even if that isn’t what you are, that’s what other people will see. But you didn’t care. Throwing caution to the wind, you smash your lips onto his, letting yourself melt into his touch as he grabbed the back of your neck.

After a few minutes, you pulled back, “turn around, it’s your turn to relax,” you said standing up. He smiled, allowing you to relax the tense muscles in his back. You rubbed your small hands gently down his back, feeling all the tense muscles and knots that had formed, probably from the stresses of owning a company. “Henry, I care for you, I really do,” you started. He sighed, knowing were this was going. “But don’t you think that this is a really bad time to start a relationship, especially one with your assistant?”

“Probably, but I don’t care,” he said, adding a moan on the end, telling you how good your hands feel on him.

“I just don’t want people thinking that I’m a rebound, or that I was the one who broke up your marriage.” Henry quickly turned around, grabbing your wrists.

“I don’t care what other people think, I care what you think. Who gives two shits what they think about us!” You smile and give a small nod. Henry pulls you down on his lap and gives you a quick kiss on your forehead.

“I want you, Henry.” You whisper, curling into his chest. “But can we wait for a little before telling people?”

“Of course,” he replies, stroking your hair. “Now let’s finish up this work and head home.”

#henry cavill #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill one shot #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you #Henry #cavillvirus #BusinessCavill

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #352

my head’s a mess and a half, i can’t think of lyrics to put here so yeah here’s the survey

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? Uh I think it was a pepper in this Healthy Choice dinner bowl I had yesterday. What was your last Facebook notification for? A friend liking this photo I shared of some beautiful, small rock and pebble sculptures of people. What bands have you seen live? Just Alice Cooper. Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: She only has one kidney due to the other being taken out because of kidney cancer when I was a kid. Coincidentally, her father was actually born with only one as well. What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? Nothing really comes to mind. What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? SUPER against? I dunno, man. What are your plans later today? I don't know. Yesterday my mother informed me that Jason's mother died, and since then I've been in shock. I was in awful condition yesterday because I absolutely adore(d) her like she was MY family, and once upon a time I thought she would be officially, and I still feel very, very dead. I doubt I'll get anything done today. Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Definitely not exciting... Mom and possibly I are probably bringing Jason's family food for the family get-together they're having (we're not staying for... obvious reasons), but she's unsure because it might be a bit too awkward. I'll stay in the car because I don't want to disrespect Jason's space, but I REALLY want to go through with this. His mom was so important to me, and I don't want to just... do nothing as if she meant just that. I want the family to know I never stopped caring just because there was a breakup. Plus I wanna give Jason his favorite chocolate bar to try to bring him a bit of happiness. I can't imagine what he's feeling, and my instinct of "I need to protect him" absolutely never went away. Who do you talk to the most? My mom. What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Go to bed before 9PM, sometimes even before 8. And my knees pop like a motherfucker. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt and Sam. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither; instead, I just wish it was clearer. I have extremely dry skin, especially on my arms, so I have little bumps and marks there, as well as little freckles over my body. Having like, porcelain skin would be amaaaazing. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? Keep it. Look more badass, haha. Have you had an x-ray in the past year? I think so, on my legs. It may have been over a year ago, idr. Do you think your first love still loves you? I don't want to know. I really don't. What is something that is “going right” in your life? *blinks* When did you feel ready to start dating? Seriously, probably late middle school. When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? My snake Venus has never bitten me. Meanwhile, my cat Roman lightly (and sometimes not so lightly...) bites me pretty much every day when I play with him, lol. Where were you the last time you made out? My bed. When was the last time you cried tears of joy? I probably haven't done that since I met Sara irl. How do you type your sad smileys? One of these three: :( or :c or :< Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? No. What was the last soda you drank? Mountain Lightning, a Mtn. Dew ripoff bc we're cheap, lol. What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I don't know. Have you ever had any type of surgery? Yeah, a cyst removal as well as tubes in my ears. Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? Uh no????? Who was the last person to hit on you? That I'm actually aware of, Sara. I'm quite sure nobody has since. What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? I was too weak to even clean the litterbox last night. I just wanted to go to bed. I need to do it today. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? Hm. Maybe that I didn't love Joel? It was just really awkward and I felt awful about the whole situation. What do you put on hot dogs? Ketchup and mustard. Ever fallen in the shower? I've fallen OUT of the shower. I was extremely dizzy and was trying to get out, and I just passed out onto my chin. Broke some molars and got a concussion. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about? Probably a bitch or something. Do you think that things will get better? I sure hope so. Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? I guess I kinda have. My WoW friend Lisa and I were talking, and she wasn't feeling well at all when she suddenly disappeared. Coincidentally, her husband got home RIGHT when I messaged her again, wanting to check up on her, and he heard the alert so checked it out. Lisa was knocked out on the couch having some medical emergency with a name I can't remember, and he just thought she was sleeping. Because of seeing the chat, he took her to the hospital when she probably would've died otherwise. She insists I saved her. What’s your favourite book genre? Fantasy. Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? No. Do dogs like you? They definitely seem to. Animals in general honestly do. Would you say that you project an air of authority? Definitely not. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. I've always wanted to, but I was too scared at any opportunity. Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) I just use one. I dry my hair first, then my body. Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No, but I did see one of them from a plane when I was flying to Sara's. Who do you know that had a baby recently? My high school friend had her daughter Persephone literally a couple days ago. Cute little thing. Do you like Usher’s songs? Oh wow, what a blast from the past. I don't even recall the names of any, but I remember I enjoyed some as a kid. When was the last time you went to a waterpark? Wow, it has been YEARS. Like, not since I was a teen. Have you ever ridden a train? No. What do you eat your French fries with? Ketchup, sometimes. Do you have family problems? Not really. What’s the last food you ate that was stale? Bread, I think. How do you like your grilled cheese? Just a normal 'ole grilled cheese. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video games. Have you ever been close to drowning? Yikes, no. Have you ever had a panic attack? Countless. Do you like doing housework? No, who does? Would you ever get implants? Nah. Do you own a robe? No. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? I don't trust people who don't eat pizza crust. What was the last song you listened to? "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. It's making me cry, but I really need to. Have any of your family members been to jail? No. None that I know of, anyway. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? An old friend, yes. Can you remember when you first learned how to read? No. What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? My mental illnesses as a whole. Have you ever had any teeth pulled? No. Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? No, but only because it's not realistic. I don't want to travel. What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? I don't care about TV 'til MM resumes, and then absolutely whenever The Edge of Sleep is released. Mark is a key actor in it. How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? I couldn’t be. What is your favorite Queen song? Ha, I'm aware this is probably everyone's answer, but "Bohemian Rhapsody" is the bop of all bops. Do you know how to use any foreign currency? No. Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? BEEN kissed, yeah. By Juan. Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? No. When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Now. What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? It was a group date where we went to this big arcade one night. What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? None. What is the reason you’re still alive? That's a big answer that I'm not in the mood to ramble about. Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? Yeah, oops. Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? No. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) HAHA this was the only lucid dream I've ever had lmfao. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? I don't remember. How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Like shit. "Virginia's still dead" just bitchslapped me. Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Well yeah. Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Yes, because I really did. Have you ever been threatened before? Yes. Would you date someone with a physical disability? Yeah. Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? Probably. The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Red. Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? My mom. Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? What income? Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? No. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. Are your parents in good health? Not especially. They're both probably unhealthier than the average person. Dad smokes way too much to be healthy, and Mom has a plethora of issues. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No; it sounds awful, but I'm very doubtful I could be because I canNOT clean another human being. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? No. Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? They're black Pokemon pants with Pikachu jumping by the logo. Do you have any interesting pillow cases? No. If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My knees. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Both, but situationally. Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? Only once for prom. They were maroon, like my dress. Wait... or maybe I didn't wear them? Fuck, idr. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American history is way more fascinating to me.

#survey #surveys #questions

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mushroom-trafficking · 3 years

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Hewo.... I have... question... slides it under your doorframe. 12 and 31 for Canary... 15 and 33 for Setac and just becuase.... 35 for Harmony >:)

(surprised pikachu face)

Canary:

12 - How skilled at lying is your oc? How frequently do they lie? For what reason? What situations would it be acceptable?

Canary is actually a fairly good lair when she has to, she usually does it to cover for friends like King if they’re having a bad day but don’t want others to know she’s very quick at coming up with an excuse. Nowadays she only does it to cover for friends like that with little things and sees no issue with it, if it’s not your business to know you ain’t gunna know! She also likes to joke-lie. Where she will pretend that something she very clearly did wasn’t her but with a big stupid smile on her face. It’s normally only for wholesome stuff though. Like oh no! Where did this crazy huge cake come from! Oh gosh! It’s a mystery!

31 - What time of the day is your oc most awake? What about most tired? Do they get up at the same time every morning without need for an alarm, or is their sleep schedule all over the place?

Canary’s sleep schedule is FUCKED. As a now ex full time employee of Grizzco she was up all hours of the night with stupid work hours, sometimes starting her day at 3am and other days at 9pm. She is still getting used to life outside of that and now she works freelance it’s been a smidge hard for her to. well. get her shit together. She’s trying though, there might be frequent naps during the day as she gets her shit together slowly. Robin lovingly build her an alarm that makes her run around the room chasing after it while it specifically screams like a ghast from minecraft.

Setac:

15 - If you had to choose a single object to act as a symbol for your oc, what would it be? Why?

Ripe banana. Hmm. This is kinda tough. I can’t stop thinking about a banana because it looks just like him in colouration. No you know what it would be a very autonomically correct dinosaur plushie from a famous museum. You know the ones. You always wanted one a a kid but they cost more than your house to buy. You want the t-rex cause it’s the coolest. But the soft version of this carnivorous beast is actually pretty cute... You wanna give it a hug, maybe take it to therapy... I think that represents him kinda well. Scary, soft, poorly understood by most people but actually pretty cool from a distance.

33 - Describe your oc’s favourite environment. Urban or rural? Wild or controlled? What’s the climate like?

Rural for sure. Setac isn’t a huge fan of the city it intimidates him quite a bit. He loves to be near a lake or river because he enjoys swimming quite a bit but more in lakes than the ocean as sand gets under his frill and irritates him a bit. Climate wise the hotter the better for him, humid though not dry he hates dry heats. Somewhere nice a quiet in the summer with a little lakeside cabin would be his ideal getaway.

Harmony:

35 - How easily does your oc get attached to things? Does everything have a sentimental value to them, or do they see nothing as more valuable that it’s practical use? What about people/animals?

Oh boy, Harmony is way more sentimental that she would care to admit. She’s only gotten worse with age and moving out. Her father is very no nonsense with that kinda stuff, isn’t really attached to much and that rubbed off on her a bit at first but Setac is a verrrry stronger influence on her and she picked up his habit of hoarding various bits and bobs in case they come in handy for a project later down the line. Because Setac often gifts her things she has a small collection of various things she would kill you if you tried to get rid of them. They constantly try to one up each other with said gifts. Maybe one day someone will run out of room and it will have to end... Maybe. Harmony places more value on crafts than expensive things, given the choice of something impressive and expansive vs something more understated but from the heart she would pick the latter every time. Harmony is fairly easy to get along with so she has a few strong friends and is VERY protective and attached to them, she’s quite quick to win over most of the time so be careful or you’ll end up with her glued to your hip. She loves most animals, probably too much, has a bit of misplaced confidence from being a toddler with a giant lizard for a brother.

#ask #ask meme #octoshott #reply #ocs #setac #canary #harmony

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chilling-seavey · 4 years

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Anything But Mine (d.s.) - Chapter Three

A/N i was too excited to wait to post another chapter so here you go 😳 the drama is just getting started....

Wednesday, September 4th, 2019

Florence struggled to bring the many bags into the building, the walk from the grocery store tedious. It was nearly 9pm on a Wednesday evening, a late time for grocery shopping but it was the only time Matt was home to watch Clementine. Shopping took longer than usual as she took this extra time to herself than she usually didn’t get.

She cleaned herself up a bit in the elevator mirror on the way to the 25th floor. The hallway was silent except for her soft footsteps on the hardwood.

Florence could hear the crying from the other side of the door. Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and walked inside. Clementine was screaming from her room and Florence poked her head in after leaving the bags in the foyer. The baby was all by herself.

"Oh, sweetheart." Florence sighed, reaching into the crib and picking up the eight-month-old, cradling her to her chest. She walked out of the nursery and farther into the apartment, carrying some of the grocery bags. Matt was sat on the couch, headphones in and feet up on the coffee table. The multiple open beer bottles on the table made Florence stop in her tracks. Matt looked up at her and pulled one earbud out.

"What are you doing?" Florence asked cautiously.

"An essay." Matt answered like it should have been obvious, gesturing to his laptop that was on his lap.

"Were you aware the baby was screaming for God knows how long?" Florence asked.

Matt took a sip from the bottle in his hand, looking between her and the sniffling baby in her arms, "No."

Florence scoffed, walking across the room to set Clementine in the playpen and gave her the pacifier from the coffee table. The young mother then stood back up and looked back over at Matt. He had both earbuds back in and was typing away.

"Matt." She called, crossing her arms.

No answer.

"Matthew." Florence said louder.

When he didn't answer again, she resorted to collecting the bottles from the table and taking them to the kitchen.

"I’ll have another one, babe." He shouted, still clearly having his earbuds in. Florence walked briskly across the small condo and snatched it from his outstretched hand. Her aggressiveness made him turn, watching her rinse and throw out the bottles from over the back of the couch. "What's with you?"

"You shouldn't have to ask." Florence rolled her eyes, bringing the rest of the groceries to the kitchen counter.

"None of this female-guilt avoiding-the-question bullshit." Matt slurred, running a hand through his hair. Florence bit her tongue. A silence fell over them as Florence put the groceries away. Still guessing what she was upset about, Matt continued, "I had work to do, Florence."

"Yeah. And I don't. I gave up any sort of future to raise our daughter. I leave her with you for an hour to have some sliver of responsibility in your life and you sit here drunk off your ass and letting her scream her lungs out." Florence blurted out, closing the fridge door harder than intended.

"Wow." Matt scoffed. "I was doing that self-soothing technique."

"We both know that's bullshit." Florence jabbed, folding the empty bags and putting them under the counter.

"And I'm allowed a beer when I want one." Matt continued.

"Not when you're alone with the baby!" Florence raised her voice.

"She was asleep. I just went down the street."

The silence that fell after those words left his mouth was deafening.

"You left her here alone?" Florence spoke slowly through her teeth.

"She was asleep! Chill out!" Matt said defensively.

"How stupid are you?!" Florence yelled, both her hands gripping her hair.

"She's a baby! What's she going to do? Throw a party?!" Matt laughed.

Florence simply gaped at him. The anger that was coursing through her veins made forming sentences virtually impossible. The fact that it was humorous to him made it that much more aggravating.

"I can't even look at you right now." Florence finally mumbled and walked briskly over to where Clementine was sat in her playpen. She picked up the baby and carried her into the master bedroom. The bedsheets were a mess and Florence grumbled under her breath as she sat the baby down and went to get herself into her pyjamas. The clean laundry basket was sat on the chair in the corner of the room and Florence walked over to find some clothes. An army green jacket was laying on the top. Frowning, Florence picked it up and turned it around in her hands. It didn't look familiar. It definitely wasn't hers and the feminine form of the jacket meant it wasn't Matt's either. Florence turned on her heel, scooping up the baby on her way to the door. The moment she was in the living room, she threw the jacket at the boy, almost knocking his laptop to the floor.

"What the fuck." He grumbled.

"Exactly what I'm thinking." Florence snapped. "Who's jacket is that?"

Matt glared at her before picking it up from the ground, "Isn't it yours?"

"No, it's not mine." Florence felt tears welling in her eyes again.

"Flora-"

"I swear to God, Matt." Florence said through her teeth, the forming tears making her voice start to shake, "If you brought a girl home when I was out."

"It's not like that." Matt said quickly, shutting his laptop and moving to sit on the edge of the couch.

"You told me you were done with this shit." Florence whispered, hiking the 18 pound baby to a more comfortable position on her hip. Clementine curled into her tiredly.

Matt got up and stalked to the kitchen. Florence followed quickly.

"I want you to answer me, Matt. Where is the jacket from?" she tried again.

Matt sighed, pulling out another beer from the fridge but ignored her.

"I'm putting our daughter to bed and when I get back you better be ready to talk." Florence ordered, walking briskly down the hallway. She heard the hiss of the bottle opening just before she closed the nursery door. Clementine was laid down and tucked in with her favourite blanket. Florence waited with her until she fell asleep.

The nineteen-year-old was tense and emotional and scared out of her wits. She had forced herself to trust him again and if he threw that all away; Florence didn't know what would happen. The place was silent as Florence headed back down the hallway. Matt was back on the couch, sipping slowly from the clear bottle of Corona. Florence could never look at navy and gold the same way after him. The TV was on and he was watching some late night show, chuckling quietly to himself. Florence turned it off, taking stance in front of the entertainment set with arms crossed.

"You need to calm down." Matt spoke slowly, leaning forward so his forearms were rested on his thighs.

"I need you to be honest with me." Florence retorted. Matt sighed, running a hand through his hair, staring at the ground. "Why did you come running back to me if you were just going to keep hurting me?"

"I didn't want to keep hurting you." Matt mumbled.

Florence chuckled humourlessly.

"It was an accident." Matt continued.

"You left our 8-month-old child alone for God knows how long while you got drunk and brought home some random bitch off the street. How in the world is that an accident?"

"She was an accident! Our stupid kid! You think I would still be here if she didn't exist?!" Matt yelled suddenly, throwing his arms out. Some of his drink sloshed onto the carpet. Florence was taken back. "I didn't want to be a complete dick to you and fucking dip out when I knocked you up."

Florence stayed silent, his outburst taking her by complete surprise.

"I don't know why you're so obsessed with the idea of us! There was hardly an us anyway!" Matt scoffed. "You were too damn naïve to wrap your head around the fact that I was literally using you for an easy fuck."

A small gasp fell from Florence's lips at his blatant words.

"That's what made it so easy to go along with my friends’ idea to ruin your annoying brother's damn life. Obviously, he'd hate it for one of us to get with you. That's exactly what we did. What I did. It was a win-win really; Callum got fucked over and I got fucked. Until you had to go get attached. And pregnant. Making everything so much more complicated."

The tears that she had been holding finally fell, a soft sob leaving her trembling lips. Matt paused to take a long sip of his drink. He let his gaze drift to the floor as he licked his lips free of the bitter taste of alcohol. When he looked back up at her, his blue eyes sent violent shivers down her arms. She was staring into the eyes of a stranger.

"You were too fucking sweet for your own good." He chuckled, shaking his head. "And I saw what my father did to my mum when he up and left when I was five. I didn't want to be that guy but I can't do this."

Matt gestured around the room.

"I can't pretend that I want to be a father. That I enjoy being woken up every two fucking hours every single night."

Florence opened her mouth to retort her own failed desires but nothing came out.

"I can't pretend that I love you! I don't. Okay? I don’t."

The girl's quiet sob filled the momentary silence.

"I can't go the rest of my life playing this…this game. This game of 'house' where everything is perfect. Get your head out of the clouds and start facing reality. I'm nineteen and I cannot just sit here and accept that I peaked in high school!"

"Why even come back?" Florence finally spoke through her teeth, her cheeks red with anger and emotion, her words stumbling through sobs. "You should have just stayed away when I told you I was pregnant in the first place. What were you trying to prove by coming back?"

"I thought there was something there. I didn't want to be a dick. I wanted it all to work out in the end too. But I can't keep going like this when there is nothing here. Hannah was right…you never liked me; you just liked the idea of me. Of having a happy family who acted like they loved you."

Florence was stunned into silence again, her heart pounding in her ears at the mention of his high school girlfriend. The same high school girl friend that he kept running back to over and over again despite her poor treatment of him, leaving Florence as his constant second choice.

"Hannah?" she repeated, fists balled at her sides.

"Shit." Matt exhaled rubbing his hands over his face.

"Is that who was here?" Florence spoke slowly.

"Only for like an hour." Matt assured her quickly.

"I don’t fucking care if it was for 2 minutes!" Florence snapped. "You know how I feel about her and all the shit she's put both of us through."

"She's not that bad."

Tense silence fell between them again.

"Did she touch Clementine?" Florence asked sharply.

Matt’s hesitation was her answer.

"Oh my God." Florence groaned, setting her hands on her hips. "Did you sleep with her?"

Matt's guilty gaze rose to meet Florence's stone-cold demeanor. His look made her laugh humourlessly, tears still dripping down her cheeks.

"Get the fuck out." She hissed.

"What?" Matt gaped.

"Get out of my apartment."

"Your apartment?! I'm the one who put the down payment in!"

"I don't give a shit about that!" Florence shouted. "You clearly don't either!"

"Oh, come on." Matt stood up and tried to reach for her. She snatched her arm away before he got to her.

"I wish we were never paired up for that stupid history project. I wish I never had to look at your face! I wish I never let myself get attached!" Florence's voice cracked through her loud, emotion filled volume. "If I mean fuck all to you then you should just go!" Florence turned and went into the bedroom, ripping open drawers and throwing all of his things onto the floor. He appeared in the doorway, eyes wide at the scene in front of him. The suitcase was finally pulled from the closet and she started stuffing random things into it.

"Stop! What the fuck." Matt grabbed her arm. She shoved him back.

"You do not want to touch me right now." Florence glared darkly at him. Matt took a small step back, any emotion fading from his face. Florence worked quickly, shutting him down every time he tried to speak. Finally, the suitcase was zipped up and she virtually threw it at him.

Back in the living room, she grabbed the jacket from the couch and shoved it into his arms, "Don't forget the bitch's jacket."

"Florence-" Matt tried again. "Listen to me-"

She turned him for the door and pushed him down the hallway.

"I want to know you'll be okay."

"Don't kid yourself, Matt. You don't care." Florence scoffed, stopping with her hand on the door handle. "You know, it hasn't been rainbows and flowers for me either. You're always blaming things on me; how I was the one who screwed up your life. You're the one who lies over and over and over again, who drinks until daybreak, and walks all over me like I’m dirt, and I cannot live like this. It's absolutely suffocating!"

"If you want me to go, I won't come back. Ever."

"It's what you want so badly. You don’t want to be here. Why should I make you stay?" her voice was laced with hatred and emotion, "You so desperately want to leave," Florence opened the door and gesturing towards the elevators of the condominium building, "So leave."

Matt looked between the elevators and her like he was about to walk the plank. Florence's entire body was trembling, tears streaks and smudged mascara staining her cheeks. Her heart ached terribly; like no pain she had ever experienced before. Part of her was hoping Matt wouldn't go, that he would say it was all a joke and take her into his arms and kiss her pain away. But with a single motion, he had grabbed his car keys from the table next to the door and was heading down the hallway towards the elevators.

The second Florence closed the door behind him, she crumpled to the ground in tears, crying loudly into her palm. Her breaths came shallow and fast, her heart working overtime like it was the only thing keeping her alive. All of what used to be her happy memories flashed through her mind like a slideshow. Every smile shared across the history classroom, the secret kisses in the stairwell, the sunny and silent March afternoon when she gave him her virginity. Every secret she shared with him, every warm hug, every tear shed. It was all too much. It was all lies and she couldn't seem to admit that to herself. Every time he touched her, it was fake. Every word he spoke, it was planned. Every time he told her he loved her, it was a lie. Florence felt dirty, scratching at her skin to rid herself of the tainted memories.

Her body trembled with adrenaline, uncontrollable sobs racking through her chest. The laminate floor was cold against her hot skin, making her shivers that much more intense. When she paused enough to exhale, she heard a loud cry from the nursery. Florence got on her hands and knees and crawled to the door, her limbs too weak to hold her up. One look at those baby blue eyes through the grate of the crib and Florence let out another sob again.

How was she supposed to raise a child on her own? A child who looked just like Matt of all things. Clementine cried in her crib, while her mother sat against the wall across the room, sobbing into her knees. Long minutes passed before Florence composed herself enough to reach into her back pocket and take out her phone. The cellphone shook in her hands as her body trembled but she texted the only person she knew would answer.

You were right

Florence didn’t know how much time had passed - it felt like decades although it was barely 15 minutes - before she heard the sound of the key in the front lock. The sight of Daniel in the nursery doorway sent a wave of relief through her but allowed another sob to fall from her lips. It looked like he had been woken up, his usually styled hair matted down over his forehead and his stylish ensemble down to a grey hoodie and black jeans. Daniel took the few strides across the room and bent down next to her, pulling her into his chest. His arms wrapped around her body and held her tightly.

“I’m sorry!” Florence cried, her voice breaking.

“Don’t you dare apologize.” Daniel whispered, his soft voice wrapping itself around her heart, a nice alternative to the yelling that had happened prior. He let her cry into his sweater, rubbing her back soothingly.

“You were right!” Florence stammered, her words blubbery and choked back. “You were so right and I didn’t listen. I’m so stupid!”

“You’re not stupid.” Daniel tucked her hair behind her ear and lifted her chin to look at her. “He’s stupid. A stupid, mess of a boy to ever think it’s okay to make you cry like this.”

“He’s gone!” Florence cried. “He’s gone and I let him go and he’s not coming back!”

Daniel stopped when he heard that. His silence made Florence cry harder and curled into him like he was her lifeline, gripping his grey hoodie in her trembling fists. Her inhales were jagged and messy, the distraught 19-year-old basically choking over each breath.

“Breathe.” Daniel whispered, petting her hair back. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He eyed the baby across the room who was sitting up in her crib and crying loudly as well. Daniel sighed, looking between the two, wondering what on earth had to have happened to leave them in such a state.

Florence tried focusing on the soft patterns he was drawing down her back, her tired body finally starting to give up its fight. Still trembling, her crying started to quiet down.

“There you go.” Daniel smiled down at her. He let her breathe a moment before he slowly got up from the floor and picked up Clementine from her crib. The screaming baby didn’t quiet down, even has he held her lovingly. He sat back down next to Florence, Clementine placed on his lap.

“I can’t look at her, Dani.” Florence cried, inhaling sharply. “She’s all him. I can’t even look at her!”

“Come on, now.” Daniel reached around the baby and held Florence’s hand in his. “You two need each other right now.”

“I can’t!” Florence’s voice broke through a sob, making the baby cry louder.

Daniel rocked Clementine gently, getting her to quiet down a little.

Florence continued, “How am I supposed to do this?! How am I supposed to look at her every day?! I-I-I worked so hard to prepare myself to do this alone and I was so ready and then he came in and-and convinced me that he would help me and support us and within one hour that’s all gone. His promises and my strength and my walls. He’s gone and all I have left is his face staring at me from that crib. She doesn’t even look like me! All I see is him in her all the fucking time!”

“She does look like you! So much!” Daniel said, squeezing her hand. “Look,” Daniel wiped the tears from Clementine’s chubby cheeks before gently pressing the tip of his index finger to her nose, “this is your nose. How it turns up a bit at the end? See?”

Florence only hiccupped in response, waiting for him to continue.

“And her hair, look at all that soft blonde hair.” Daniel chuckled, peering over at the young mother. Florence barely mustered a smile in return.

“And her eyes-“

“She has his eyes.” Florence interrupted, her voice low.

“Her eyes are too green to be his.” Daniel whispered. “He had grey eyes. Boring grey eyes; but yours,” he looked up to meet Florence’s solemn gaze, “yours are a gorgeous shade of blue and green.”

Silence fell over them, the space between them limited against the pastel pink painted wall. Florence’s hand slowly moved to the side of his face, feeling the ends of his messy brown hair against her fingertips and his soft skin under her palm. Her gaze fell to his lips, pink and tempting. As if sensing her thoughts, Daniel looked away, focussing on the crying baby in his arms.

“We have to get her down.” Daniel said, his voice low, barely audible.

Florence dropped her hand to her lap, lolling her head back against the wall with a sigh. Her eyes closed gently and she took long, deep breaths.

“You need to go to bed too.” Daniel smiled softly, setting his hand on top of hers. “You go and get into bed and I’ll pop in before I leave.”

“Please don’t go.” Florence said quickly, opening her eyes and turning to him again.

“Alright. I can stay.” Daniel nodded once. He pulled Clementine higher against his chest, one arm under her bottom and the other securely on her back. He got to his feet and Florence followed, holding onto the wall to catch her bearings before silently making her way out the door. Clementine’s cries became muffled as Florence reached her bedroom and closed the door behind her. The sheets were almost thrown off the bed, the drawers still hanging open, and the closets’ belongings spilling out onto the floor. With not a lot of energy left, Florence pulled the sheets back onto the bed and stripped out of her day clothes, changing them for a t-shirt and a pair of underwear. The expensive mattress felt like a mound of bricks to her as she laid down and stared at the ceiling. Her body shook slightly in its place, dehydration setting in from all her crying.

Matt was really, truly, gone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a light knock at the door. She didn’t have to answer before it opened and Daniel slunk inside, closing it silently behind him and walked over to her bedside, a glass of water in his hand.

“Clementine fell asleep pretty quick.” Daniel whispered, sitting on the side of the bed. He handed her the glass.

“Thank you.” Florence breathed. She sat herself up a little and sipped the cool water, her body relaxing at even the slightest amount.

“You’re going to be just fine.” Daniel said, taking her free hand in one of his. “It may not feel like it right now but you will be.”

Florence looked to their hands together, sighing to avoid letting anymore tears fall. Daniel discreetly looked around the room, taking in the mess of the space. He sighed too, and got up, starting to put the drawers back in and drew the curtains closed. Florence set her now empty water glass on the side table and slunk a bit farther under the sheets, the sheets that smelt like Matt. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, wanting it all to just go away.

Daniel’s hand on her arm startled her, “Do you want me here or on the couch?”

“Here.” she grabbed the arm of his sweater in her fist, staring up at him with tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes.

Daniel agreed quietly, slipping out of his jeans before shuffling into the bed beside her. The moment he relaxed, Florence’s arms were around his waist, face buried in his neck. Daniel smiled, his arms holding her close as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

It didn’t take long for both to start to fade, Daniel’s breathing slowing; yet Florence’s mind was still whirling. She tilted her head up to him in the dark room, his gentle breath against her cheek. He was her comfort for any situation and having him there, holding her, made her heart swell. Shifting slightly, she brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth, his tired body merely furrowing his eyebrows, his eyes still shut tight. Florence moved slowly, afraid that she would make a wrong move to wake a sleeping giant. But finally, she pressed her lips to his own, holding her breath. The seconds were long until he finally moved, parting his lips to let her kiss him deeper. It was messy in the dark bedroom and tired emotions ran high, hands laying still but gentle kisses were shared until Daniel pushed her back.

“That’s enough.” he chuckled lowly, rubbing her lower back in small motions.

Florence’s cheeks flushed in the darkness, “Sorry, I-“

Daniel cut her off with a strong kiss, “Don’t be sorry. Just get some rest.”

#daniel seavey #daniel seavey fanfic #daniel seavey fic #daniel seavey imagines #why dont we #why dont we fanfic #why dont we imagine #college!wdw #novel #jonah marais #jack avery #zach herron #corbyn besson #anything but mine

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