1661.
How much did your senior prom dress cost you?
it was $350 which to me was so expensive! my mum bought it for me as a graduation gift though. later i heard some girls had $800+ dresses, so ridiculous
What dreams have stuck with you since childhood?
i cant think of any rght now but im sure theres some
Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship?
yes
Did you ever take your dog to school?
no, that wouldve been awesome though!
If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her?
hahaha no idea. prob something i wouldve regretted now
If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her?
ive saved my girl name, idk about a boy name yet although i kinda love unisex names too
Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane?
nope
Do you get motion sickness?
not often but i have
Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what?
no lol
What is the most boring church you have ever attended?
all of them, lets be real
What is the most lively church you have ever attended?
a neighbour asked me to tag along to her church as a ‘youth’ thing back in high school to which i agreed to. everyone was super friendly, they played live music a lot etc, after i went there for a couple of months they had some big event one night and they were like, do whatever u feel etc. much to my surprise people started fucking fainting and speaking in tongues... i noped the fuck out of there and sat in the bathroom fucking scared out of my wits. i never went back
Do you find church fun or boring?
boring
What do you hate the most about summer?
the heat obviously
Which part of your body is the most muscular?
my calves i thinking hahaha
Did you ever take Latin in school?
no
Which major holiday is closest to your birthday?
christmas
What is your favorite Japanese name?
miyako
Have you ever ran a cash register?
yes
Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger?
i never had a bratz doll tbh. i was team barbie all the way
Do you think your mom is attractive?
she was definitely more beautiful than i ever was when she was my age!
What was the last thing that disappointed you?
ugh idk
Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster?
i love and hate it at the same time
Skeletons or scarecrows?
scarecrows
Do you own pumpkin earrings?
no
What computer game did you used to play all the time?
the sims
When was the last time you read a book?
like a month ago but i didnt finish it
Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any)
it really depends on the situation. do i know this kid, what would they be doing, where are they hanging etc
What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at?
hmmm. this all you can eat sushi resto i think
Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from?
tiktok
What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts?
paint by numbers. i attempted a few during lockdown and they never looked good and took forever to do
Do you watch political shows?
nah, rarely
Do you play any fantasy/roleplaying games? What?
no
Do you like salami?
i dont mind mild salami but would still prefer ham, proscuitto, serano, coppa etc
When was the last time you ate meat?
tonight
What was the last hot drink you drank?
chai latte
Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes?
yes
How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them?
yes
Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages?
hmm yes!
Do you find the sound of a cat’s purr relaxing?
haha no, i dont like cats
Do you know your mum’s first pet’s name?
i dont think she ever had a pet that was only hers, a lot of her siblings had pets instead
Would you ever want to be famous? If so, for what?
not really, that used to be my lifelong dream as a kid and im kinda glad it never went ahead haha
Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back?
nah
What fruit can’t you stand?
anything sour. most berries, kiwi etc
Do you know anyone autistic?
yea
How about someone bipolar?
hm idts, not fully diagnosed anyway
What do you consider private to you?
my health
Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have:
im drawing a blank rn but im sure theres someone
Name something that you’re good at but don’t like:
idk :(
Name something that you’re bad at but DO like:
spending money bahaha
Name somebody who has tried to help you and ended up hurting you:
i cant think of anyone
Name a date that has a lot of significance to you:
7 sept
Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise:
idk
Name something that you’ve done that would be considered rebellious:
sold school raffle tickets and kept the money for myself
Name something you wish you had enough money to do:
buy a new car or plan my dream wedding without money being an issue
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Chapter 5 Trial: What You Are in the Dark (#24)
“Hummmm... So, now...”
“...what are we thinking... exactly?”
“That Kaichi was already dead before he got stabbed! Right?”
“Cuz all the magnets stabbed him first. Basically?”
“The only thing I find hard to believe...”
“...is that Mister Riseiin would be willing to take pills from a stranger, multiple times.”
“But with his condition...”
“He kind of had to... trust the people around him, right?”
“Yeah-huh! He was suuuuper gullible unless you were just super duper suspicious!”
“So it... could work?”
“I, personally, would consider someone giving me pills I don’t recognize ‘super suspicious’.”
“Yeah.”
“There’s, like, the whole lockdown thing, too, right?”
“It woulda been totally gnarly to get somebody alone to talk or whatever, like, a buncha times.”
Once or twice, not so much, but...
“Yeah. It would’ve taken several spaced-out ‘doses’ to do what we’re thinking. That’s a lot of little meetings to not get caught at.”
“So it was someone super sneaky!”
“Hey Tsunyashaaaaaa~”
“..................”
Mahavir coughs, as if it’ll keep the closest couple of people from hearing him.
“...I would also consider her suspicious at all times.”
“You’re not wrong...”
“Anyway. If no one has any better ideas than ‘the killer was sneaky’...?”
“.....”
“......”
“...We should probably move on to another topic. What else is fishy?”
“............”
“...........”
Do I have to come up with everything myself today?
“Actually...”
“I was wondering about that, ah, ‘rulebreaker trap’.”
“What about it?”
“Well... Yuukei, Tsunyasha, and I are the only ones who have injured our hands, correct?”
“As far as we can tell, yeah!” He pivots to squint at Kanagi and Tsunyasha in turn.
“Hey, I totally didn’t do it!”
“..........”
“But if it wasn’t one of those three, then the killer somehow managed to bypass the trap.”
“Oh, because they had to... go to the study halls, right...?”
“Right. At the very least...”
“...there was nothing amiss in Miss Tanukihara’s study hall before the lockdown. So...”
“The pills got yoinked after the lockdown.”
I nod. “It works out.”
“So, if the killer must have snuck out sometime after the trap was put in place... How did they manage that?”
“The easy answer is that it really was Iggy or Tsunyasha or Kanagi!”
“...I’ve already established my alibi.”
“..........”
“Dude, I just said—”
She cuts herself off with a sigh.
“Like, not that I wanna shank anybody ‘sides Monochap—”
“W-wah...?!”
"—but if I did, I totally wouldn’t’a picked Kaich.”
Not really hard evidence on any of these fronts, but...
“If it wasn’t one of those three, then the killer must have known about the trap somehow.”
“Well, it cooooould be ‘cause he made it!”
“You mean...”
She turns to Aidan.
“No?? No. This murder plan would not be—in any way, form, or fashion—remotely feasible or sensible for me in my current condition, thank you.”
“Tracks.”
"In that case... How else could the killer have known?”
I feel like I’m on to something...
Or does it have to be one of those three?
NONSTOP DEBATE START
“Let’s suppose for argument’s sake that the killer wasn’t one of the four who knew of, or was personally harmed by, the trap.”
“If we can’t determine any other method of avoiding injury...”
“...then we’ll have to assume it WAS one of them.”
“If it wasn’t, then I guess...”
“...the killer just happened to see some part of the trap?”
“It’s, like, super hard to see though?”
“Perhaps not, if you’re tall enough...”
“...Huh? Why are you looking at me?”
“Kanagi isn’t short, either, though.”
“Maybe there was glass on the floor?”
“Surely someone else would have noticed that.”
“And taking the time to pick it out of the carpet without injuring yourself, not to mention disposing of it somewhere, would have been a risky use of time with little benefit.”
“So, like, if they didn’t see it... maybe they smelled it?”
“Smelled... glass and tape?”
“IDK, they were probs kinda burnt-y or something.”
“You’re the one that goes around sniffing and licking things, so.”
“Point.”
“What’s left... Oh! I guess they heard something, then!”
“Heard... glass that wasn’t moving.”
“Yeah!”
“That... seems like it would be hard...”
“Well if you couldn’t see, hear, taste, or smell it, and you couldn’t feel it without hurting yourself, all that’s left is...”
“They’re psychic?!”
“I was gonna say they learned about it from somebody else, but maybe you’re right!”
“..........”
“I didn’t tell anyone.”
“We’re not hearing from Tsunyasha anytime soon, so, Mahavir, Kanagi?”
“Of course I didn’t tell anyone.”
“Yeah, like, I was trying NOT to get caught?”
“Then it almost has to be Tsunyasha, right...?”
“................”
I won’t accuse someone who isn’t speaking up for herself, not if I can help it.
But what else could have happened? Maybe I need to think about it from a different angle. If the trap would’ve been that hard to notice directly, then maybe...
ABSORB KOTODAMA
LOAD KOTODAMA
[Desk Toy]
[Blood Traces]
[Pill Casings]
[Game Demonstration]
[Broken Bottle]
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hippity hoppity here goes the long ass rant about my cousin
for context - i was a kid when i started liking kpop, like 13-14 yrs old? i was still collecting plushies, reading magazines for young teens, enjoying some music and playing sims. yes, i may have had my emo episode back then with some heavy music too, and that never went well with my mum’s older sister and her heavily religious husband, but oh boi, the worst was my cousin. she is 6 yrs older than me and that was around the time she started picking out an university to go to, so the focus HAD to be on her, the important future student and her boyfriend and this and that... she was always going on about going to art school and she was really fucking talented so she had all chances to be a really great artist, getting married to her boyfriend, wanting a family and all her future, while i was just a middle school kid dressing in all black, who suddenly started enjoying some fun kpop song on their otherwise heavy metal/rock music playlist.
when she find out, she was GIVING ME HELL for it. do you remember 2013 kpop? adtoy by 2pm, ringa linga by gd & taeyang, gentleman by psy or fantastic baby by bigbang? i fucking loved those songs. i was a kid in a really bad place in life after moving 2 countries away from the place where i was born, from all my friends, my school, my life... listen, it’s 10 years hitting this year since my mother decided about moving and i’m still not over it, so just imagine, how bad i must’ve felt back then, when it wasn’t even a year after the move? i was a devastated little kid who found a little joy in some fun, jumpy kpop tones in contrast to the usual heavy music i was listening to usually (do you remember the oldest bring me the horizon songs, all the screaming and anger? think of it as my regular playlist, my mother hated it haha). i was never a diehard fan, never had posters of idols on my walls, i only have like 2 merch pieces (and those aren’t even original cuz we were poor and could never afford it, so i looked up the merch online and my mum had a similar thing done in a local, cheaper workshop for my birthday one time, please don’t judge me for that) and it was just music for me, as well as the english, american, japanese, polish and hungarian music was just music too.
and i got terrible shit for it from my cousin, who pretty much criticized everything about me: my clothes (we were poor, i was mostly dressing out of second hand shops and surprise - her hand-me-downs), my shitty phone (and old samsung model i got for my 9th or 10th bday), my taste in books (i really REALLY loved king’s books to which one of my classmates introduced me back then), my inability to perfectly speak the language (though i was raised in a bilingual household, the main language in my house was hungarian, and i was a stubborn kid who rarely ever wanted to speak polish at home, so when we moved i could barely speak the language, had to take extra classes every day in school for almost the entire first school year i spent here because i had to learn to write and speak properly), but the biggest shit i always got for kpop, that it’s garbage, that i don’t even understand it, it’s just shitty party music with extra steps... i resented her for that A LOT, which probably had smth to do with the age difference too, but hey, whatever. i always closed up when we visited them and my mum was understanding about it, she pretty much allowed me to just hang around the place and listen to my music, play on my phone or just read a book, and my aunt hated it - but it was at least peaceful, i occasionally got the kpop jab from my cousin which i shrugged off, but that was it... until one time i spoke up.
i can’t remember what it was about - but we were all having lunch and it was easter or christmas maybe, and at a certain point i got called out for something, maybe using my phone under the table? anyway, i spoke up about treating me like shit because i was already 15 by that and i had a big fucking mouth and no tolerance for their bullshit after listening to it for two years, which ended in my mother almost going into a shock after hearing my vicious remark, my aunt’s husband going into a raging fit and my aunt telling my mum that she’s a terrible mother and raised a terrible kid. we left after that and i didn’t return to them in the following years - i just heard from the grapevine that my cousin ended up dropping out of college because “it was just too tiring and too much”, broke up with her boyfriend and then was just sleeping around with some random dudes, and generally just misrailed her life and had to move back in with her parents who were devastated after all their hopes about my cousin went to hell.
i haven’t seen them for years - we sort of reconciled a few years later when my mother forced me to do it; my cousin probably forgot by then whatever shit she was giving me earlier and we hanged out a bit, caught up and shit... i’m pretty sure it was only because she was to get married to her boyfriend and wanted the whole family there? not important.
the boyfriend is a pretty awful person imo tbh - he has some nationalist tendencies, not once spoke up in a very homophobic and derogatory way about all kind of lgbtq+ people, which in the end resulted in me removing him from all my social medias, because miss me with that nationalism babe. anyway, they got married and moved into their own place and into the family spotlight again, while i finished school and then years after their wedding my mum announced very proudly that i finished school with good grades and got into university - which immediately stirred the shit in the old shit bucket our relations were. my own fucking aunt dared saying that i’ll never succeed in life and will drop out than her own daughter would because i’m not made for a successful life. she never said it to my face - said it to my mother, who gave up a job she loved just so she could send me half a country away from my home so i could study where i wanted. i mean, i have my own issues with my mother too but i can’t not admire her sacrifices she made for me - so that sort off hit it off again with me and i once again burned bridges with them when moving out 3 years ago. seen them maybe two times since then? i mean, i never tried reaching out to them - they only ever got some happy birthdays and merry christmases on facebook, because my mother insisted i do that. they never called or wrote back, not for my birthday, not for christmas, not for anything else. i only found out in the last few months that on that christmas 2 yrs ago, which i spent alone, they were asked by my mum to please invite me over at least for a coffee. they never even called and my mum was heartbroken over it, because she was literal thousands of kilometres away, working and counted on her sister to invite me... my mum’s friends, basically strangers, ended up inviting me over for a christmas dinner in the end. i spent a family holiday with people i’ve literally seen five times in my life and they were more than joyful to have me in their company and they even got me a present, while my technically closes family couldn’t even spare a phone call.
now i’m 23 and my cousin is closing on 30 - and she’s suddenly overcome with that kpop obsession she has, spamming both instagram and facebook with mv links, fantaken photos, band-related posts and news articles, all heart emojis and “OmG i LoVe ThEm” kind of bullshit captions, she’s intensely drooling over certain members she’s posting a lot about, i’m seeing at least 15 posts daily about her bad drawings of members of the band.... listen.... if an artist doesn’t practice for 7+ yrs, the skills they had just start to fade away even if they were really talented (trust me, i know it from my own experiences, i used to know how to draw, sing and play a few instruments when i was young but then i stopped practicing and now the most i can draw in a stickman, i can’t play any instruments for shit and i’m a low average in singing too), but she thinks she’s some motherfucking superstar of drawing portraits (trust me, shes NOT) and keeps spamming all those pics and posts and shit.... and just seeing that sort of brought the memories back, of her treating me like shit over a thing she’s now obsessed with and i’m just sitting here like.... gag.
i could absolutely understand being a fan and being a group stan but there is a certain limit after which being a fan turns into that gross, twisted thing. do you know all those memes that go along the lines of “i don’t hate kpop because of the music, i hate kpop over the r*tarded fans it has”? that’s a whole ass mood. i’m sure that everyone who’s at least interested in kpop heard of the insane psychofan part of the fanbase.... and she’s turning into it. she’s fucking drooling over some famous strangers while she’s like... 30. and has a husband. would it be so hard for her to “keep it in her pants”? i’m super NOT interested in seeing all that crazy fan shit she’s pulling and honestly she’s grossing me out and you know people like her are the reason i can’t even fucking enjoy kpop anymore the way i did earlier - because it’s being fucking pushed down my god damned throat every-fucking-where i look. just calm the very fuck down, please. behave like a god fucking damned adult.
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The early hours of the morning (Oliver Wood x Fem!reader)
Summary: Oliver helps reader sneak out so they can spend some time together.
A/n: This was very self indulgent. I wrote it last night when I was thinking about how much I wish I could sneak out and see my boyfriend. Since I can’t because of the lockdown I wrote a fic about it instead. This was initially going to be a blurb and I just went off so I hope you like it.
Warnings: mention of strict parents but other than it’s fluff. Prob writing mistakes. Let me know if you think of any that I missed.
Word count: 2620
(Y/n) paces her room, the letter from Oliver clasped tightly in her hand. She’s so nervous, her stomach is flipping upside down and then rightside up and upside down again. It’s the first week of July. (Y/n) has come back home for the summer to her muggle house in the suburbs. (Y/n)’s parents have always been strict. She was often the first to leave parties when she was little and rarely did her parents let her stay for sleepovers at friends’ houses. When old family friends her age have parties, they are very reluctant to let her go. It was then no surprise when her parents refused her request to go stay at her boyfriend’s over the summer.
(Y/N) can normally accept her fate but some might say Oliver has a bad influence on her. She would argue the opposite. Oliver brings out a side of her she’s never seen before. With him, she’s adventurous, wild, spontaneous, fun, goofy. She feels her age with Oliver. Oliver is teaching her that sometimes, most of the time, it’s okay to put yourself first.
Maybe it’s because she misses him. Maybe it’s because she’s tired of following the rules. Maybe it’s simply because she wants to, but something has taunted her to agree to disobey her parents. Oliver is on his way to see her and she’s pacing her room waiting for him. She feels excited, there’s something exhilarating about doing what she wants. She feels scared, her parents are in the room next door and they could catch her. She feels giddy, she hasn’t seen Oliver in a while and it almost feels like a first date.
The thought of seeing Oliver calms her a little. She‘s always felt safe with him. She knows that no matter what happens, he‘ll be there for her. It brings a small smile to her face. She settles on her bed and looks at Oliver‘s squished writing in his letter.
“I’ll meet you at 12:00am sharp.” She read before drifting her eyes to her alarm clock next to her bed. The clock ticks from 11:59 to 12:00. There’s a sudden knock that makes her jump. She looks to her door but it doesn’t open. She stands moving closer to the door. Her parents should be asleep by now so she assumes it’s Oliver. Her heart is quickly bumping her rib cage and she feels dizzy with nerves. There’s another knock but she realizes it isn’t coming from the door. The sound is too quiet and muffled to come from the door. She turns to her window and finds the source of the knock. It’s Oliver. Her Oliver.
She quickly walks up to the window, a wide smile on her face. She slides the window open and peaks her head out. Oliver is on a broom, hovering next to her house. He leans over and links his lips to hers. It’s a quick peck but it fills her stomach with butterflies.
“Miss me?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.
“More than you think.” She admits, unable to preserve her delight.
He smiles softly. “I missed you too.” He says, almost in a whisper. Lost in the moment (y/n) had not noticed Oliver was holding a second broom in his hand. Once he sees her looking at it, he puts his arm out for her to take the broom. His smile is mischievous. Maybe this is why people say he’s a bad influence. (Y/n) has a defiant look as she firmly grasps the broom and pulls herself onto her window ledge. She hops onto the broom and hovers alongside Oliver.
Oliver gives her another peck on the lips before flying off, (y/n) quickly following suit. They fly high into the sky, passing through the clouds. Oliver being Oliver makes flying a competition. He zooms through the sky and (y/n) won’t go down without a fight. She leans forward and her broom speeds up. She can hear the wind whooshing past her as she cuts through the air. The feeling of the wind is liberating. She feels invincible. Here in the sky, no one can tell her to come down. No one can tell her what to do.
She catches up to Oliver and smirks at the look of surprise on his face. They are tail to tail for the rest of the trip. One minute (y/n) has the advantage, next it’s Oliver. After many snarky comments and flirtatious tease, Oliver signals to slow down. Together they fly closer to the horizon, they’re out of the clouds and (y/n) can see a small town with little shops and houses scattered between tall trees. Oliver points to a house that she assumes he means to tell is his. They land on the outskirts of town and Oliver drops his broom and runs to pull (y/n) into a hug. He sweeps her up off the ground and twirls her as he exclaims in loud happy cheers. (Y/n) giggles and buries her head into Oliver’s neck. She smiles at the familiar feeling of his arms around her waist, his smell, his laugh. It fills her with delight. She’s convinced it’s the best night of her summer and the night has barely begun.
He links his hand with hers and guides her back to his broom. He bends down and picks it up before starting his trek towards town.
“That was a good fly. You kept me on my toes there.” He laughs happily, always up for a challenge. “I’d take you on my quidditch team any day.” He admits.
“Wow.” She exclaims. “That’s high praise coming from mister quidditch know-it-all.” It’s a playful tease, there’s nothing but adoration in the comment. Oliver bows his head sheepishly. (Y/n) giggles at his reaction, proud she could get him all flustered. He stops suddenly and turns to face (y/n). Her giggles are replaced with a look of confusion.
“What’s wrong? Why are we stopped?” She asks while scanning Oliver’s face for an indication.
“Merlin I’m so happy to see you.” He blurts, shaking his head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe you’ve agreed to see me.”
“Don’t remind me. I’ll get so angsty that I’ll want to go back.” The thought of disobeying her parents fills her with guilt. “Let’s not talk about that. Tonight it’s just you and me.”
Oliver drops his broom and nods sympathetically before taking her broom and discarding it too. He gathers both (y/n)’s hands in his and places a soft kiss on each hand. He drops them and steps forward, cupping her cheek and kissing her lips. It’s a slow kiss. They relax into each other relishing in the feeling they’ve missed so dearly. It feels like coming home after a terrible bus ride. Everything else in the world is forgotten. It’s exactly what she wanted, just her and Oliver.
They kiss for a long time. When they finally pull apart, Oliver places his forehead on hers as he gently rubs her cheek with his thumb. She dips her head into his hand deepening the caress. His eyes are soft as he looks at her admiringly.
“You’re beautiful.” He whisperers. Butterflies flutter in (y/n)’s stomach again. She thinks Oliver should add it to his list of qualities. If he were applying for a job he could write: good at quidditch and giving my girlfriend butterflies and she would most willingly confirm the statement. She smiles and chuckles awkwardly before pulling Oliver into her arms. They hold each other in silence making up for missed time.
“I missed you so much.” It's a pained whisper. She can hear the emotion in his voice as he runs his finger through her hair. She squeezes him tighter into her arms. “I missed you too.” She whispers back. The moment feels so delicate and precious. It feels as though speaking in a normal register would shatter it.
They finally separate and start walking again. Once into town, Oliver points to all the different shops and neighbours’ houses as he provides detailed explanations of each place. It’s a small wizarding town she had never heard of until she met Oliver. He’s told her about it many times but it’s even better than he described. She secretly dreams of spending more time in the town. She hopes to one day walk through it during the day, getting to put a face to all the names Oliver is sharing.
Oliver stops in front of a house and turns to (y/n). “Well, this is me.” He says rocking onto his heels. It’s hard to see the details of the house, with the dim street lights but it has a cottage-like look to it. It’s a dark wooden, three-floor house with a steep roof and navy blue window panels. It looks a little crooked, much like the other buildings in the town. There’s a chimney puffing purple smoke that smells of lavender. It’s simple, small and homey.
“I love it.” She turns her gaze back to Oliver with bright eyes. His eyes widen and he smiles wide. “Wanna see the inside?” He asks, clasping her hand. She nods enthusiastically and he leads her to the front door.
“We have to be quiet, my parents are sleeping.” He explains before stepping in. The door creaks behind them and they both freeze, shoulders tight with worry. The house remains quiet and they take it as an indication to continue. Oliver guides her through the front entrance, into the living room and kitchen area. It’s (y/n)’s first time in a wizard house. She’s slightly disappointed with how “normal” it looks. The decor is rustic and simple. The house looks well lived in, everything has a purpose. It looks like a proper home. She finds it very comforting. Oliver places a hand on her lower back and stretches his other arm in front of him. She follows his arm and sees an open door that leads into darkness. She looks at him hesitantly and he gives her an encouraging nod and a gentle push on her back.
“It’s the basement. We’ll get more privacy there than in my room.” He explains in a whisper. She nods and walks down the stairs after lighting her wand. Once in the room, she looks around as Oliver turns on the candles. It fills the room with a soft glow as she takes note of the futon couch in the middle of the room, the bookshelf in the corner, the coffee table pressed up against the wall, the broom wax kit on the table. Everything about the room screams Oliver so it evidently becomes her new favourite room. She makes herself at home and throws herself onto the couch with a happy sigh.
She pats at the spot next to her on the futon and looks at Oliver expectantly. He chuckles as he settles next to her. “You’re an absolute delight.” He states, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
They start off the night by playing wizards chess. Oliver’s competitive side comes out as he tries to get under (y/n)’s skin. He pouts a little when he loses but she makes up for it in cuddles. They’ve moved the futon so it’s a bed rather than a couch allowing them more space to stretch out. (Y/n) is lying on top of Oliver. She’s running her hands through his hair as he rubs circles on her back. Oliver gives her all the news of the wizarding world. He talks especially about quidditch which she gladly listens to. She loves when his eyes light up and he talks fast and passionately and he occasionally emphasizes his point with hand gestures.
The rest of the night they make out on the futon, occasionally mumbling sweet nothings as they catch their breath. His hands travel all over her body as he pulls her closer to him. They get lost in the feeling of each other’s touch. It’s grounding, warm and she easily forgets everything else.
There are no windows in the room and she has no way to judge the time. She guesses they’ve been up for most of the night and it is now far into the early hours of the morning. At that moment, it’s not important, nothing matters other than him. Oliver’s strong build under her and his big arms wrapped around her make her feel safe and peaceful. She’s hit with a sudden wave of tiredness and soon she’s drifted off to sleep. Oliver continues to rub circles between her shoulder blades as she sleeps until he too, dozes off.
When she finally wakes she feels groggy and confused. They didn’t get much sleep, maybe two hours. Oliver is mumbling something but she can hardly make sense of it. A sudden wave of adrenaline hits her and she shoots up with a terrified look. Oliver props his head up to better look at her. He goes to ask her what’s wrong but she beats him to it.
“Oliver, what time is it?” She's shaking as he fiddles around her looking for his watch that he discarded somewhere. “Oli!” She whines impatiently. He finally grabs a hold of his watch and winces. “What? Oli what time?” There’s panic in her voice.
“7:00.” He states hesitantly. Before he can calm her down she’s up, gathering her shoes and jacket. He’s right behind her, stomping on a shoe after the other. They run out grabbing the brooms in the front entrance. She’s not three steps onto the street before she’s straddling her broom and pushing off the ground. Oliver mimics her, quickly catching up to her in the sky.
“Race ya.” He shouts over the howling wind.
“Oliver.” She scolds. “I am late!”
Oliver shrugs. “Can't change the time but you can make the best of it.” He states simply. (Y/n)’s eyes narrow as she darts forward. “See you there.” She shouts behind her, turning her head just in time to see Oliver’s shocked face.
Once in her neighbourhood, they carefully scan the streets to make sure they can hover down safely. It’s a Sunday morning, most people are still sleeping. They quietly fly to her bedroom window. She crawls back through it and hands Oliver the broom. “Thanks, Oli. That was the most fun I’ve had all summer.” She wonders why she hadn’t accepted to do this sooner. Oliver’s face twists into a mischievous smirk. “I‘ll see you tomorrow? Same time?” He raises a brow as if to say I dare you to say yes. She smiles widely as she pushes her upper body back out the window for one last kiss.
“Don’t be late.” She chirps. She shimmies back into her room blowing a kiss to Oliver as he flies away. She removes her shoes and jacket before curling back into her bed. There's a knock and she looks to the window. There’s no one there. She frowns slightly as her bedroom door opens.
“Everything okay?” Asks her mom. “I thought I heard something.”
(Y/n) mumbles some gibberish pretending to have been woken up by her. Her mother concludes it was just (y/n)’s owl and retreats back to her room. (Y/n) plops her head back onto her pillow as she lets the effects of the night settle. The excitement of sneaking out of her house and into his. The wind in her face as she zoomed through the sky. The feeling of her lips on his. It was all so exhilarating and she couldn’t wait to repeat it again tomorrow.
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Well
Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.
LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN
Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.
WORK
Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.
Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.
Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.
Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.
So there's a lot to toss up there because......
HOME
We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.
Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.
So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.
We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.
Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.
either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.
We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.
PERSONAL
Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.
My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.
Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.
and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.
Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.
Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.
thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!
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So motivated by anyone who shares they are working on losing weight. FYI 10kg is nothing to sniff at, esp. if you're not being too restrictive (as a lot of restrictive diets basically make you lose water weight at first, prob not your case). Keep it up!! If you don't mind answering, what are your goals?
I don’t mind, but I’m putting it under a cut because it’s going to be a looooooonnnnng ass ramble and I’m going to include some pics and I’m aware that I’ve already clogged everyone’s timelines with enough pictures today. Before I go off on my tangent, though, I want to make it really clear that I firmly believe that any person can be beautiful and love the way they look at any size. This is something that I am fighting very hard to believe about myself, too, regardless of what weight I am. I am not at all a believer in slimming down for the sake of vanity (despite my negative opinion of my own looks, vanity has never been a big enough motivator for me to lose weight), but this has progressed to the point where vanity isn’t even a consideration anymore.
Okay, so, backstory. When I first moved to England, I weighed 140lbs (63.5kg) and I looked like THIS ↓
Aren’t I BEAUTIFUL? I think so, even if nobody else does, I think so. I think so now. That part matters.
I can distinctly remember that when all three of these photos were taken, you see. I also distinctly remember looking at each one afterwards and thinking, “Fat, repulsive, disgusting.” Fat, repulsive, disgusting. That was my opinion of myself. I repeated those words in my head on a daily basis. I truly believed them. Hence, I’m wearing the same ugly cardigan in two of those pictures, because whenever I wore pretty clothes I felt so undeserving that I was compelled to cover them up with something ugly (the red dress is an anomaly because there was a dress code involved). EVERY TIME. It practically become automatic. “I’ve spent £40 on this dress, so what can I cover it with?” was basically my mantra. It was fine, I thought, because I didn’t care about pretty clothes. Liking pretty clothes was beneath me. This was a lie. I love pretty clothes. I love bright colours. I was drawing pictures of pretty gowns and tiaras from the age of six. But hey, easier to pretend that you don’t give a shit about pretty dresses than admit that you don’t feel worthy of wearing them.
I am seven whole-ass years older now, and I topped out at 283lbs (128kg) on the scales fives weeks ago. That is the heaviest I have ever been. I have doubled my body weight. By medical standards, I am extremely obese, and I’ve had seven whole-ass years to think on how I behaved back then. I’ve thought a lot about how much I hated my body and how undeserving I felt and how I stuffed myself full of junk food and said it didn’t matter because I was repulsive anyway, so why not? I wasn’t being kind to myself. How can I be a kind person if I don’t treat myself kindly? My own self-loathing has cost me my health, because in 2013, I didn’t need to take stomach tablets every day. I wasn’t vomiting a few times a week because of chronic digestive issues. I had regular periods. I lived in Sunderland and would get out of bed on my days off and walk three miles to Seaburn beach, just to hang out with a book and build sandcastles and paddle in the water and thoroughly enjoy my life. I had the ability to do that without wanting to collapse. I had the energy to write for hours on end without getting sleepy after forty minutes. I had lots of energy, lots of it!
I don’t have the luxury of enjoying any of that stuff now. I have lethargy and sluggishness and I get breathless walking up the stairs, and a huge part of that is because I have gained so much weight over the years, and because I have been eating things that specifically exacerbate my digestive issues. And I’m sick of it. My brother’s lottery win has been the most insane blessing to my family in that it is allowing us all to live out our wildest travelling dreams, and I don’t want to be the person who takes an eight hour flight to Paradise, only to sit around and do nothing because she just doesn’t have the strength. There is an eleven-year-old diamond in my life who I would do anything for, and I want more than anything to be able to bring him places and have fun with him and partake, instead of sitting on the sidelines holding coats because I am too fat to ride the rollercoaster (which happened to me, FYI, shout out to Port Aventura for sticking to safety measures, though the woman manning the coaster didn’t have to poke my thigh and say, “fat,” to make her point clear).
The thing is, and maybe this is a tl;dr moment that could have saved me a lot of trouble, but I am unhealthy and I’m tired and this is like...my life. My one life. What am I doing? I owe it to myself to treat my body better.
So these are my aims.
I want to get back to 140lbs. That is a healthy and reasonable weight for my height and body type. I am aware that I will not look the way I did in 2013 because I am seven years older, but I don’t care. I am aware that I will have loose skin and a belly and wobbly thighs when I reach this weight, but I don’t care. I will have energy. I will be healthier. I will be able to bring my stepson to all kinds of places and have the most fun with him.
No fad diets ever. This is all I’ve ever tried before, and the end result has always been the same: lose a bit and put it back on. I am making legitimate and incremental changes to my lifestyle. I am building lasting habits. I will weigh myself once a week to keep track of how I’m doing, but never more than that. I will exercise every day for a small amount of time, but if I miss a day for any reason, I won’t beat myself up about it. I will not skip meals. I will not deprive myself of food.
I am an excellent cook and I love trying new things, so I will be using that skill to find and experiment with new, delicious recipes from all over the world for my family to eat. Once lockdown ends, I’m going to start throwing dinner parties. I think this will really help me to change my attitude towards food and make meals fun for me, rather than a self-inflicted punishment.
No denying myself things. If I want to get a McDonalds I will get a McDonalds because, y’know what? Tomorrow I am going to have lots of veggies and cook myself a good, nutritious dinner, and that McDonalds won’t be anything but a delicious interlude in my week that I am not going to feel bad about.
No hiding myself in drab clothes. I hate wearing brown, grey and black and yet it accounts for most of my wardrobe. Both of those cardigan pics were taken in the middle of summer. I have wasted years of my life sweating it out in long sleeves and leggings so other people wouldn’t see, and for who? For what purpose? I am going to buy all the pretty clothes I like, wear loads of bright colours. Fuck it, it’s just for me.
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Right, I need to go on a rant because lockdown is still getting to me and I am fed up with the same comments I hear every time I allude to my sexuality (mostly ace) towards my family.
So story time: today my Nana was showing my mum about princess Gertrude or something being married in an old Ball gown of the Queen's and how it was altered a bit and as an a fly away comment of me being pedantic I said "having a wedding dress is over-rated anyway" to which my mum gave a mock shocked face saying that of course I would say something like that (My family joke about me being cold-hearted as I don't cry at sad films or books, and can just lack empathy to certain things). So I laughed to continue the joke but what I intended was that you know why a dress? Women can be married in suits or two-pieces if they wish? Like what's the fuss. Oh hell, the men could wear flounces! Also upcycling yay for the environment! So I continued, starting to say the colour, my mum saying about how my older sister will be in Ivory and I said "Come on, that's off white! But I mean Chinese get married in red" and she continued "in India they get married in all sorts of colours" and I said "exactly! Why white?" And she said before I could continue "I suppose you would get married in black" so I scrunched up my face and said "if I ever get married" and then came the usual "you might not say that as you get older" you know. That golden nugget of a line that is told to many people who are aro/ace or whatever the identify as. Some people just do not wish to be married. I also said "whats the point in having a dress you only wear once, anyway" which, as I expected was returned with "you could pass it on to your children". My mum continued saying how her best friend used to think like me and now is married and has had two children, then she left to go do something. My Nana then joined in saying how I don't want to not give my mum grandkids, to which I shrugged, she continued saying how what if my husband didn't wanted kids what would I do then? This is when I started to get mad but with this situation I always try and brush everything over considering I know from experience how things will go (will get brushed with the aforementioned comments, stereotypes etc). So I shrugged and said "well then it wasn't meant to be" in my head I was thinking what if I don't want a husband, what if I have a wife, or a partner who identifies as non-binary or genderfluid? What if I just never marry, or just live the rest of my life with my friends? What if, if I do change my mind about kids, I adopt. But I couldn't say that. My nana continued by saying "well, I guess you wouldn't marry if that was the case" and I'm just sat there stewing.
See, my problem here is that my parents certainly are more liberal, and the reason why I make jokes that allude to me being ace is because they have also made jokes about saying how they probably will never have grand kids, or that I don't go for that sort of thing and I had hope. My sister is a lesbian and they knew for ages and still love her and want the best for her, but my mum never understood why my sister was so hesitant to come out and I explained to her how people coming out always have that fear, that even if their parents or their friends are liberal, they still may not be fully accepted for who they are. Plus, my sister has had bad experiences with friends being homophobic or use her in the face of her coming out, but my mum took this explanation as me hiding something about myself.
When I had my first boyfriend a year ago my mum thought the perfect time to bring up sex would be as she placed food in front of me. I legit choked on my food and as she continued I had to tell her right there and then that I believed myself to be ace and she had nothing to worry about and she didn't understand, so I had to explain. This was the first proper time I heard her deflect that "I might change my mind". When I stayed overnight at his, my dad was teasing me asking whether I needed rubbers and kept on asking me. The thing is, it was always jokey but I'm pretty sure he was concerned. Then my sister thought more happened between him and I when he broke up with me, indicating that we probably had sex, because of how upset I was over it all. I'm pretty sure a couple of my friends thought that too. However, one of my friends said what I was thinking which was that part of the reason why he broke up with me was because I wouldn't have sex with him which was the case considering when I told him that my dad joked about getting rubbers he asked me if I did all excited and I said no with a confused expression like "we've been over this, I thought you understood" and he looked away disheartened with an "oh" thats when I think I knew this wasn't right. To be fair I should've known about "oh, so you're a celibate" and loads of other things like believing I liked something when I didn't or I wasn't sure so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ I was young and it was my first boyfriend so you know, I was naive. The reason why I was so broken-hearted was because I'm pretty sure it was because I was ace, and because of that I felt like I would never be loved, or respected. What's more is he tried to take advantage of my friend when they were together whilst she was drunk! So he is just a huge dickhead anyway.
Anyways, I guess for my grandparents to understand is trickier and as far as I'm aware they don't know that I said to my mum who probs told my dad that I'm ace. I always get told that they won't change. My grandad I think still believes my sister isn't fully gay by the fact that he refuses to say "girlfriend" and also slander her girlfriend a bit, and he never believed she showed signs, though why should that matter if she "showed signs"? And my Nana said she did and is a little more accepting of my sister's girlfriend (btw, this is not my older sister who is getting married). I hate being told that people who are older (especially my grandparents) won't change their minds or see things differently. I don't understand how people can go through life like that? But I guess that's because I'm a more open-minded person who makes sure I have several perspectives on certain things.
The thing now though is that I'm scared that I'm under the category of ace where the stereotype is that I'm a robot because I lack empathy and am cold-hearted and such. I know that for my Nana and also for my Nanny that they ended up abandoning their careers for the sake of raising a family and for me, that just feels like an epic loss. I also think that my grandparents first impression of my mum was not approving as she had a baby when she was 20 out of wedlock and had an abusive partner.
After this spiel, if you are still with me, I just want to let you know that this is life is complicated. Heck, I even queried about my best friend being ace, but I think that is because I never thought someone so close to me could have the same feelings about that topic and also because I am constantly questioning myself, probably because I have had "oh, you may change your mind when you're older" most of my life. Oh, I know I could, but for what feels my entire life (when I gained consciousness of myself and was making choices for myself without having this stereotyped life conditioned in my brain) was that I never personally want to have kids. Ever. I understand I may change my mind and if I do I will adopt because I would like to think that I could make a child's life better, and also we have a dense enough population as it is. I do not care if I have a partner with me in my life. I can quite easily get by independently in life. I'm not adverse to having a partner, whoever/whenever/and whatever status it may be.
What I find hilarious though is that I'm very nonchalant about my sexuality, but I do not wish to tell my gay sister that I am queer on some scale. She has had too many run-ins of me slipping to say that I'm not straight or my friend legit said a joke about how my hair is as straight as me (it's curly) because I have made that joke around her before about myself. TERRIFIED. She has jokingly confronted me about it as well and I remained nonchalant as I always do.
So I guess what I'm trying to say that even though people can be liberal in mind, it is always tricky to tell your family and (after stereotypes and assumptions have been placed on me) friends. I have even had a friend who told me that basically I wasn't ace sinply because I didn't know how to answer him in something related to do with sex. I AM ALMOST 19, I DO NOT HAVE MY LIFE FIGURED OUT. I AM STILL QUESTIONING MY OWN EXISTENCE LET ALONE MY SEXUALITY/ORIENTATION.
I would love to go through my life with no labels whatsoever. Whether I'm female, that I'm ace, or that I'm most likely pan. I've always been weird with labels. I simply do not care about that, but I also care about it too much. I do not want societal pressure to tell me that I need a partner in my life, that I need to have children in order to be happy and be worth something. That is not what makes a life. I want people to understand this, especially my family, but I'm afraid they won't even if they are aware that they know it's not for all people. The life I want is to be with the people I love and I can trust and engage with. That I am successful and can stand up for who and what I believe in. So this is my message to people out there. Take all the time in the world to discover who you are. Whether you prefer labels for it or not. To not let societal pressure get to you too much. I know it's hard and the nature of the world and its people are complex, but please be true to yourself and I'm sure you will find your people and your way in life.
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It's the third week of being back at work, and I hate it and feel like a terrible human being. I also feel like I Wasted my time during lockdown, even though I know I sometimes didn't. Like, I did some things. I got things done. I'm happy about that. Work is making me so tired, but I did kind of know it would which is Why I didn't watch TUA during lockdown, so I could watch it now while I feel so useless and like the day is already over.
.::a warning for spoilers::.
S2 E6
Run Allison :O
D:
Hehe.
Aw.
It suddenly occurred to me out of basically nowhere, that I am a dumb. So, Lilah legit tells Diego her mom taught her to fight. And I was like :o I dig it, tell me more. Then literally like two episodes later she's sharing her tragic backstory about how she found her parents dead at age 4 and it went Right over my head, if that's true then how could her mom have taught her to fight? And I should have realized. I'm dumb. I mean, neither of those things were false, and she said them both sincerely enough, but, just presented as such without explanation those two things contradict each other. I was clearly not paying attention. I suppose Diego wasn't either, cause he didn't notice it either. XD
Of course she does XD Is the fish going to be there? Because I miss him.
"My Pursuers." I love that.
D'aww. Team Zero for the win. Lol. XD
TMI Ben :P
Oh no, that's not what he meant. XD the nodding, lol. This cult is really just doing its own thing X'D
This little montage, such fun :D
Ooooooooh snap. Oh :o
I guess the consequences of Allison's powers are that they're kind of addictive? and it's easy to lose herself in using them. I'm interested to know how Mr H...managed? her, as a child. How did they discover her powers? Did she have a wild rebellious phase where she just got everything she wanted with no one the wiser XD
I wanna play bingo.
These two are gonna have a real falling out. Or. Falling through. X'D
Are we gonna have a legit posession at some point? :D
Also, Ben feeling offended about sounding like Dad...like, I gotta know what happened to Ben my guys.
(before posting this I browsed tumblr -_-' and I got a little spoiled about Ben, but seemingly nothing I haven't already been suspecting though, so I guess it's not too bad)
We're all invited!
Oh, Dave D':
The Handler is being a busy busy bee. Setting everyone up just the way she likes. Let's hope Five doesn't decide to change his socks. :/ :P
Five's little smile.
Daddy's girl? Interesting, after I was just wondering what she and Mr H were like in her youth.
Dat no-nonsense entrance.
Mr H even brought a notebook XD
And Yet. XD
Oof.
Mr H looked So amused when Allison made Diego do that.
Oops XP
Mr H is a time. O.O A very self-assured time though. I. Like, don't hate him? Like, not at This time. Not, for who he is right now. I feel I ought to dislike him, for who he was or will be and what he did with them as kids, but, right now. He's just very interesting, and I can't dislike him because he makes sense.
Ben yass!
Yeah, Five is the only one that makes sense to you Mr H. Aw Diego, I'm sorry.
A smidge XD
Ah, they all got it.
That makes so much sense, starting with seconds.
How interesting, he's pretty accepting of the world ending apparently, but in another time he trains literal kids to prevent that from happening? Time travel will make your head hurt. I'm not sure how time travel works in this universe, but we have seen things Happen, and then be Changed afterward because Five traveled back to before they happened and so things happen differently the second time around. So, to just answer a thought I've been having by myself over here XD I don't think Their Mr H who is dead in 2019 had This meeting with them in his timeline. Only after we travel back to 2019 will he have had this meeting, because he couldn't have had it before it happened and it only just happened Now. So he adopted them and prepared them for the first apocalypse not because they told him he does, in this time here, but rather, for some other reason. At least, originally. Since they've now told him all the things, This might Become the reason he adopts them in This Version of the timeline.
The way Five says, they have to "get out of" the timeline, makes me think there's a million possible timelines, which is probs accurate.
Out of interest I'd like to mention, that poor Five is such an innocent bean concerning these apocalypses, because he hasn't been a part of what actually starts it either time XD he only arrives for the end or the aftermath. His fam is a time. XD
Aw, Five and Mr H are a nice pair. I feel like Five thinking he gave Mr H a hard time as a child is interesting, because on the one hand, that's something adults sometimes say sincerely to their parents, and it's fair of them to say that. But all of his siblings of course, would never say that, and probably still wouldn't no matter how old they get. But, Five's teenage years and entire adulthood, he spent without Mr H, so Mr H wasn't there to mess him up the way he had the others'.
If Five hadn't traveled into the future, would he hate Mr H as much as his siblings do?
That's not ominous.
That feeling when you inherited dental equipment from your father (right? I forget) and are then being tortured by two-thirds of the Swedes with it. :|
Some other place. Some literal other time.
CAAAAARL. like the llama.
Surprise! It's not a good surprise.
D:
These green colours are a mood.
We've got some traveling to do.
I guess we'll see if events in this point in time, like the apocalypse, actually change the future of the current timeline? Or, when Five goes forward to the board meeting, will they be in a second timeline? Will they be unaffected by the apparent apocalypse, and be in a timeline prior to when Five's fam arrived in the 60's because the fam is in the process of basically resculpting that little section of time, technically for the second time because Five has now joined them so these ten days prior to the apocalypse are kind of not "set" yet? So whatever consequence they have is yet to be determined. And, if the Handler is to be believed, 2019 still exists as it was before they traveled and before their first apocalypse, because she claims to be able to take them back there. Which also suggests to me, that whatever causes the apocalypse, is their fault sure but it also hasn't happened yet. Like, I guess JFK's assassination has got to be the point of no return right? Whatever happens there has to be the thing that sets the apocalypse in motion officially. I haven't actually been trying to figure out what causes it, because I don't feel smart enough to pick up on any potential clues that might allow me to piece it together XD so I've just been going with the flow.
I feel like I could explain what I think time travel and the timeline works like, better, in a picture. :/
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688
Have you today?
Looked in a mirror?
Not on purpose. We just have several mirrors in the house that I unavoidably pass by and look at.
Watered a plant?
Not today, but my dad has asked me to do it a couple of times in the last week.
Worn denim?
I haven’t worn outside clothes in almost a monthhhhh. And that includes denim.
Washed your hair?
Technically yes. I took a shower at around 1 AM? before heading to bed.
Been in pain?
Kind of. My left eye has been irritating me almost every night/morning since the year started; sometimes it gets incredibly swollen, sometimes it just feels like something is stuck in my eyelid. Either way it’s always uncomfortable and painful.
Had a nap?
Haha, not yet. But since the lockdown started I’ve been having an afternoon siesta everyday.
Brushed your teeth?
Yeah, it came along with the ^ above 1 AM shower.
Kissed someone?
I haven’t been able to kiss my girlfriend in almost three weeks now and I’m miiiiiserable.
Used a cheese grater?
Nah, I haven’t used one in a while.
Eaten something sweet?
Not yet. I might eat a few pieces of chocnut later though.
Spoken to a stranger?
Not today, but we did have a village guard knock on our door earlier to give my dad a quarantine pass – it’s to confirm that he’ll be the only one in the family allowed to leave the house in case we need to go to the groceries or something. I peeked by the front door to listen to the interaction, but I didn’t speak with the guard myself.
Dropped something?
Sure. My bottle of eye drops.
Felt upset in some way?
You can say that. There’s a new trend on Facebook where groups are created so certain universities can just trashtalk one another as a joke. It was funny at first but there are some posts that have gone too far, personal, or both, and it obviously hasn’t been good for my mental health lol.
Drank coffee?
Not yet today. I usually have it in the evening.
Walked for more than thirty minutes?
I also haven’t walked much in three weeks. That’s kinda what’s supposed to happen when your entire city is put on lockdown.
Signed up for something?
No. I’ve logged in to certain sites, though.
Travelled in a car?
I also haven’t been in a car in the last couple of weeks. I was able to ride with my dad the night before they imposed the lockdown – we were visiting my grandpa in the columbary because it would’ve been his 80th birthday that day.
Opened a can?
Nope.
Thought about doing something crazy?
At the back of my head I always think of driving up to see Gab because I miss her a lot, but it just remains a crazy thought in my head.
Listened to a new song?
Yeah. I have a couple of saved playlists and I don’t know like 94% of the songs in both of them, so I’m always listening to a new song everyday.
Written in a notebook?
I haven’t. I’ve written on a piece of paper, though.
Fed an animal?
Yup, my dog needs his breakfast.
Checked your emails?
LOL NOPE, and I don’t plan to check them any time soon.
Told someone you love them?
Yeah, before we both turned in at like 3 AM lol.
Made a phone call?
Yeah I also called my girlfriend earlier.
Have you in the last week?
Update: I skipped this survey the whole day and now it’s 10:30 in the evening, and I’ve already done a bunch of stuff I said no ^ to earlier lmao but am too lazy to change. Let’s gooooooo
Travelled on a bus?
Nah. The bus personally isn’t my main mode of transpo and I only get to ride them when I’m in a group and there’s no choice but to ride a bus, like for field trips or for group itineraries during vacations.
Washed your face?
Yeah. I did this today because my face was feeling annoyingly oily. Put a face mask on for the first time in a long time.
Used a blender?
No. I don’t think we even have a blender at home, cos no one ever makes stuff that needs to be blended.
Received a phone call?
Sure. Gab and I called several times in the last week, and my grandma has also called from time to time to check up on us because the lockdown has kept us from seeing her regularly.
Talked to someone you dislike?
I...don’t think so. If I did I’d definitely talk to Gabie about it, and I haven’t done that with her haha.
Consumed alcohol?
Ugh, bleck. Yeah. I wanted to get buzzed last week and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s is the only thing we have in the house so I had a small sip and just... disgusting. Whiskey is just not my thing, so never again.
Eaten pasta?
Spot on. We had spaghetti for dinner tonight.
Planned for an event?
There is no event to plan, and it’ll stay like this for the next 3-4 months probs.
Asked someone for a favour?
Sure, I asked Gab to be the one to write the write-up that’s going to be on my college yearbook.
Watched something funny?
I’ve been watching tons of these to fight off boredom during the break.
Trimmed your nails?
Yep, they were getting long and uncomfortable so I got rid of them.
Browsed Reddit?
Also yep. School kept me busy for a couple of months and I wasn’t able to use Reddit then because I’d usually pass out by evening. But right now I have more than enough time to browse it, so I’ve been doing some catching up.
Talked to yourself?
I guess? Not as much as before the lockdown though, because I’ve already been usually by myself throughout this break, and don’t feel the ~need to talk to myself.
Purchased tickets for something?
Nah. They cancelled almost all future events up until May or June...there’s no tickets to be bought at all to begin with.
Felt like you were annoying someone?
Meh, it happens every now and then.
Cleaned a toilet?
I’ve never done this at all.
Reminisced about the past?
LMAO yeah. Someone created a Facebook group that lets alumni from my high school just shit-talk the school and bring back (and reveal) old drama, scandals, and controversies. It’s hilarious, it hasn’t pissed me off, and past students exposing teachers who turned out to be trash and/or perverts is so satisfying.
Used headphones?
I haven’t had headphones in a while.
Laughed with a friend?
Yeah, but just virtually. I haven’t heard most of my friends’ voices in a while.
Cooked dinner and then didn't feel hungry?
Nah. I HAVE helped my dad make dinner a few times this week, which is like huge baby steps for me in learning how to cook haha.
Written a list?
I don’t think I have in the last week.
Played an instrument?
Nope.
Felt jealous or envious?
It happens.
Ignored a text message on purpose?
Lol yeah I guess. There were times I got fed up with Gab being such a slow replier that when she replies, I stopped wanting to open my inbox.
Congratulated someone?
I just did! UP’s med school results were released a few hours ago and I congratulated my friend Michelle for passing. Her decision was super clutch – she initially passed med school as early as high school but she declined it so she can take journalism instead, because it’s what she thought she liked at the time. Four years into the course and she realizes she hated it, so she made the really clutch decision to review for med school exams and she ended up passing every single one she took, UP being the icing on the cake. Honestly I wish I had balls like her.
Have you in the last month?
Made a piece of art?
I don’t think so.
Rewatched one of your favourite tv shows or movies?
I rewatch Friends at least once or twice a month, so ya got me there.
Called a plumber?
We haven’t needed to do this.
Been to a see a doctor?
Yup, an optometrist. Something’s been going on with my left eye for a while, so I went in to have a checkup a couple of weeks ago.
Finished a book?
I did :o I had to read an entire book to make an essay for my business news class. It’s an investigative piece on the fast food industry, which I honestly dig, so I didn’t have a hard time reading and finishing it.
Had a crush on someone?
Sure.
Travelled on a train?
Definitely haven’t done this at all, except for that one time three years ago when I had to do it with Jum to go to the House of Representatives in Manila.
Worn heels?
I don’t think I did, no.
Been to a friend's house?
Yeah, I was at Gabie’s a couple times before the lockdown started.
Shared a bed with someone?
^ Just her.
Been to see a movie at the cinema?
Haven’t been to since Knives Out last December.
Paid attention to celebrity drama?
Nah. High school drama though, I’ve been all over that the last couple of days lmao.
Felt anxious?
I feel it at least once a day.
Taken an elevator?
Sure.
Given someone the cold shoulder?
Only when I don’t reply to Gab because she takes too long to reply, lol yeah. It doesn’t last too long though; it’s just a playful tantrum thing.
Purchased a new book/game/movie?
Nah, I think I find most of my content on YouTube/Netflix anyway.
Applied for a job?
Hahahahahahahahahahhaha not yet don’t rush me.
Used a printer?
I don’t think so.
Had lunch in a park?
But do we have parks at all? Lmaooooooooo
Gotten a manicure or pedicure?
Definitely not into those.
Made an appointment?
Ish? If the one with the optometrist counts.
Had a blood test done?
Not since 2010.
Suffered from a major bruise?
Lol dude I haven’t moved a lot in the last few weeks, there’s absolutely no reason for me to get a bruise.
Researched a topic in-depth?
Yes. I am in school, after all.
Have you in the last year?
Been to the beach?
Yep, but it’s been a literal year and not less than, and I am haaaaaardcore missing the beach. No idea when I’ll be coming back.
Visited someone in the hospital?
No and I hope I won’t have to for now, given what’s been going on.
Played pinball?
Ooh I just did earlier this month! Gab and I went to BGC for a whole night of partying, and when everyone went home we stayed so we can go bar-hopping, and there’s a place called Barcade that’s...well, you get the name. ANYWAY they had sooo many vintage arcade games and a couple of pinball machines, and we didn’t waste time playing each of them. It was sooooo fun.
Travelled on a plane?
A couple of times.
Worn a costume?
I was Dora for Halloween, so yup.
Been thrift shopping?
I don’t...think so?
Thought about getting pregnant or got pregnant?
Hell no.
Made a big life decision?
Not really. Hasn’t everyone’s lives been put on hold because of this stupid virus?
Changed a lightbulb?
Never had at all, really.
Framed something and put it on your wall?
Nah. I’m not really that kind of person.
Been stargazing?
I’ve been doing this a lot recently cos I’ve been staying at the rooftop at night more often. And with everyone at home, the light pollution has been clearing up and the stars have been so much easier to see.
Made a new friend?
If the new applicants for our org count, then yes.
Added to a collection?
I don’t have any.
Been to the dentist?
Oh yeah. I had a really bad toothache throughout December but the dentist took it all away ahhdkjfhdjsfhsf I’m so grateful lmao.
Broken up with someone?
Nope.
Held a baby?
That’s a bigger nope.
Created a budget?
Nah lmao I would never be able to follow it.
Confessed feelings for someone?
Already did.
Had surgery of any kind?
Nope and I hope I’ll never need one.
Quit a job?
Never had a job,
Been in a car accident?
NO thank god hahahahahahaha
Purchased something worth over a grand?
Yep, one of my Christmas gifts for Gabie was well around two grand. Pesos though, so that’s like roughly $40.
Been on vacation at least 500km/300mi from home?
Yeah, we always do at least one of these when my dad’s home.
Applied for an academic course?
Does enrolling count? I’m still in college lmao.
Had your photo taken by a professional?
I had my grad shoot taken last January.
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Would Hitch die for Ruby? Would Blacker die for Ruby? Would Ruby die for Hitch? Would Ruby die for Blacker? Would Hitch die for Blacker? Would Blacker die for Hitch? I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH THESE 3 LOVE EACH OTHER.
Excellent questions. I’m not sure if you want to hear the answers.
Would Blacker die for Ruby?
Lockdowns are never fun. Lockdowns that are actually serious, and not just an accidentally tripped alarm or yet another tedious unending drills are, of course, even worse. The lights are off, the door's locked, they're huddled behind a cabinet at the far end of the room, waiting for the all-clear to let them know that intruders have left the building. Blacker can see Ruby's hunched over form dimly in the darkness. She looks tense and furious. She wants to do something to stop this, but can't, and that scares her more than anything.
Footsteps, outside. The door rattles once, twice, and then shatters open. The splintering noise makes both of them flinch, and they exchange glances that say more than words ever could. Blacker stops breathing. The footsteps are inside, now, and they're heavy and purposeful. The person who's just broken down the door comes to a stop in the middle of the room, and there's a moment of silence.
"I know you're in here," says the guy. He sounds more amused than anything.
He looks at the reflection in the cabinet, and sees that the guy standing in the middle of the room, visible in distorted chrome, is wearing all black and is carrying a dangerous-looking gun. He looks back at Ruby, and realizes that this guy only knows that someone's in this room - he certainly can't have predicted that there's two of them, and if he gets up right now before the guy can notice Ruby -
Ruby seems to have come to the same conclusion, because she grabs his arm, her grip surprisingly strong. "No," she says, barely moving her lips - the word just a slight exhale of air. "No."
"Stay down," he tells her, keeping his voice low.
"He'll kill you," she hisses, desperate and wild. "He'll kill you and you'll die and I can't deal with that, no, no, no -"
"I can hear you breathing," calls the man with the gun, and there's an ominous click, and there's a grin in his voice as he says, "don't make me come and find you!"
There's no time for all the things he wants to say. He prises her hand off his arm, ruffles her hair lightly, affectionately; and stands - and hopes to god that she won't end up being as traumatized by what comes next as he knows she will be.
Would Hitch die for Blacker?
"Got the handcuffs off yet?" Blacker asks, trying to twist around to see - they're bound back-to-back, of course - but ultimately failing.
"Getting there," says Hitch, grunting. Another few seconds pass - clink, clink, insert swearing here - and then he says, "again, sorry for getting you into this mess."
"No prob, kinda comes with the job description. Now, if we don't get back to HQ before lunch, well - then I might get mad."
He feels rather than hears Hitch laugh, and then then the clicking and rustling and swearing starts up again. Within five minutes, Hitch's handcuffs are off, and he's working on Blacker's.
"Any idea who these guys are?" Blacker wonders, watching the other man work.
Hitch offers a half-slope of his shoulders in response, a quick shrug. "None. Hang on -" and click, the handcuffs are off.
Blacker stretches his arms briefly, shakes his wrists out. "Okay," he says. "Let's get out of here."
"If anybody shows up," Hitch says, seriously, "just run. I'll hold them off as best as I can, but - you know, just look for an exit, try to get out, get help. We don't know what they're capable of."
Blacker pauses, thinks for a second about stating the obvious - but that's basically suicide, no matter how well you can handle yourself - and then realizes how pointless it is.
"Got it," he says instead, nodding, and they head out of the room without a word.
Would Ruby die for Hitch?
Sometimes time is measured in hours, and sometimes it is measured in days, and sometimes it's measured in split-second freezeframes, captured one after another in a frantic rush that can only be processed properly when the action has ceased.
Click. Rooftop fight. Fantastic. On the bright side: three goons already taken out between them (Ruby got lucky with a kick below the waist and a punch to the head, and the other two were a team effort) and there's only one left. One the not-so-bright side: Hitch is weaponless, the guy's got a gun, and she's got maybe five ten twelve seconds before Hitch beefs it because this guy does NOT look like he's up for conversation.
Click. She scans the rooftop. No options but to take the gun-wielding man down herself. There's only one way to a girl Ruby's size to stop a guy that size and oh boy she doesn't like it but Hitch Hitch Hitch.
Click. She might survive this. She might. She's survived worse before. Maybe.
Click. Rugby tackles are undignified but sometimes you gotta work with what you have. The man never saw it coming. Who expects to be tackled at point-blank range by an terrified angry teenager, especially so close to the roof edge? It's a stupid thing to do.
Click. Ruby is the undisputed queen of stupid decisions.
Click. Distant shout, 'kid NO' from the rooftop above, she's already falling. So's the other guy, so task accomplished, Hitch'll be fine at least.
Click. Maybe she'll catch onto a windowframe before she hits the ground. That'd be nice, she thinks, and convenient too. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Click.
Would Blacker die for Hitch?
"Which of you is the man known as Art Hitchen Zachary?" the woman in dark blue asks, and there's an unpleasant glint in her eye which Blacker really doesn't like, so that's what makes him stand up in response before he's even aware he's doing it.
"I am," he says, "it's me."
Blacker never really pictured himself as a heroic kind of guy, but he always liked to think of himself as a fundamentally good one.
Hitch, next to him, makes a little choked horrified noise that Blacker could literally not have got out of him in any other circumstances, and says, "wait -" but Blacker just shakes his head, pre-empting that.
"He's just trying to save me," he says, inwardly admiring how steady he's got his voice to sound. "Guys, it's fine. Ignore him. I'm Hitch. What do you want?"
"Uh-huh," says the woman in blue, eyeing him. "I take it you know exactly what you've done to make our organization... displeased with you."
"Yes," Blacker says, forcing himself to channel Hitch, to stay calm. No. I have no idea what you're talking about. But that's fine. He's disposable - Spectrum can easily find another coding expert, or Ruby or Miles can take over (they're both good enough, or working together they could accomplish anything if they just stopped arguing) - but Hitch is not. LB needs him, Ruby needs him - Spectrum needs him.
"I see," says the woman, and her face curls up into a horrible little grin, promising all manner of dreadful, nasty things. "In that case - Mr Zachary, do feel free to come with me. We have a lot to talk about."
Would Ruby die for Blacker?
It takes her less than a second to realize what's wrong with the scene she can see through the window set into the door in the coding room they've been using - only milliseconds to figure out that there's something majorly wrong with the way that the pens on the table are set out. Too neat, too perfect - too conveniently covering one blind spot. It takes her less than a second to work this out, but it inevitably will take longer than that to communicate all this, because words are unwieldly and not as razor-sharp and well-polished as her thoughts and deductions are. Blacker could have probably worked it out himself, but she moves faster with leaps of logic like this and he's distracted and there's just no time.
Blacker is talking about some new advance in technology, something inconsequential and light, and he's grinning at her over the steam that's curling up over his coffee cup, and he's yet to notice the way her expression's changed to completely serious, so that means he doesn't have time to stop her when she elbows him out of the way just as he's opening the door, and forces herself into the room first.
“Ruby, what -"
For a moment she thinks she must've overreacted - and that would be embarrassing but fine because it means that Blacker would be all right and so would she - but as it turns out, she was right, because it's about that point that the hidden mechanism goes off and the dart or whatever it is shoots right into her neck, and she has about enough time to swear in some very age-inappropriate terms before she's down on the ground and the coffee mug's been dropped and shattered and Blacker's yelling out the door for help and pulling her upright to (for the first time that she can actually remember him doing) scold her about her terrible, dreadful life choices (which, fair, but.).
"Next time," he tells her fiercely, "just let me take the damn dart. I'm not worth this, Ruby, I'm really not."
She grins at him kind of, sideways, and says, "thought there was something wrong with the room. Got it right again."
He sighs, lets out of a desperate half-laugh, and says, "yeah, and it sucks. Hold on, Rube. Help's on the way. I'll shut up and let Doctor Harper chew you out for this, huh?"
"Yeah," she breathes. "Yeah." She reaches up, fumbles for his hand, and squeezes it hard. He squeezes back, just as hard, and she thinks about telling him what a cool person he is and how glad she is that he's her friend, but it's kind of hard to talk and she's feeling super cold so she just holds his hand for a while and waits waits waits.
Would Hitch die for Ruby?
He's taken bullets for older people, and certainly less trustworthy people - and definitely people that he's liked a lot less. He's taken a lot of bullets, really. What's one more? You never really get to the point where you enjoy taking a bullet for someone, but this time, he thinks he might have gotten pretty damn close. Better him than the kid, after all. Better him than the kid.
It's not complicated, of course, but it doesn't need to be.
Love is a powerful motivator, of course.
It always is.
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Hiya! Could you write headcanons for the paladins reacting to their super girly s/o kick ass while in their pretty pink dress and then switch back to being girly again after they're done? Thankya!
i lostthe element of the kicking ass s/o going back to her girly self after bc idon’t rlly know how girly works??? that didn’t make sense but y’know,i interpreted girly as polite/kind? forgive me, but enjoy! i’m sorry if it’s not up to expectations!
Trainingor fighting in one of your outfits wasn’t uncommon. Your battle suit wasdamaged in the fight against the Galra on Earth–torn and tattered; even thecomms system integrated into your suit hadn’t been working. You weren’t… too eager to talk about it, since it wasthe product of being held hostage by the Galra for a few days, something thatheld humiliation and mild trauma of being strapped to the interrogation table.You were sure they’d get a piece of your mind once you had your hands on them. Oncespotting you, your fellow paladin stopped in their tracks, halting at the door.
shiro:
his jaw absolutely DROPS, it’s where his s/o welcomes him back from space
and he saw you in the pink dress you bought before the galra invaded, wanting to give him a surprise
he did have some private moments with you, seeing as he had to attend a lot of meetings along with the garrison personnel and the other paladins. you remember one night he’d whined about how he wanted you to wear the dress again, his floaty arm surprising you when it smacked your ass
“shiro!”
he rolled his eyes with a smile, having a pleasant sleep that night
the next day, you were training with the MFE pilots, guiding them on how to solidify punches, introducing different footwork to get used to, etc., doing it politely with a gentle voice so it wouldn’t go in one ear and out the other
james proposed a sparring session and boasted that he’d win jokingly.
you volunteered to be his opponent, and it was probs just instinct, but you knew james would be complacent just bc you were in a dress.
welp he’s wrong and now groaning on the floor. you crouched down and smiled sweetly, saying, “don’t underestimate your opponents,” and going back to your sweet personality.
seeing you in the dress already was a pleasant surprise, but kicking absolute ASS in it? shiro’s gotten to a whole new level of fluster
he was leaning against the door frame now, high-fiving you once rushed over after spotting him
“whaatttt the hell was that????” shiro tends to drag his words when he’s shocked, you don’t know why but you like it. shrugging you bid goodbye to the MFE pilots, hooking an arm around shiro
for therecord, he loves it but he’s still shocked as fuck
lance:
you toldhim about the dress when the team was approaching earth, somehow getting a holdof you once they’d entered the milky way. he imagined how the dress would belike, smirking once he’d saw it in person.
thelittle shit whispered about how he’d want it to be on his bedroom floor tonight. you rolled your eyes, shoving him off with a smile
it wasafter everything, where his family were together with him in the garrison’swards, talking to him and catching up after these few years
lance’sniece was on your lap, playing some games with you and ignoring her unclecompletely as a joke between you two. feigning hurt, he cried out, “oh lunamcclain- you wound me, look, myheart’s shattering.” and mimicked the sound of his heart breaking (luna is justa headcanon name for his niece! when they said ‘uncle lance’ in s7, that scenealone barged into my house to give me a tight slap i loved it)
once shelooked at him, she turned back to you and tilted her head in question as ifshe’d asked ‘should i give in?’ both his family and you laughed; you nodded,but before you could hand luna over to lance, the garrison went onto lockdownagain, lights at the top of each room flashing an alarming red (trust me idon’t wanna put the paladins thru this but yknow,,,, for the headcanons…)
his nieceon your lap cried out, scared to death of having to go through anotherterrifying experience.
you couldhear lance groan out, “holy mother of god i’ve haven’t even had the time torest!” but tried to stand up nevertheless
the galrahas invaded the garrison itself, catching everyone’s attention when a doorslammed open, sentries marching in with their blasters and whatever.
yourpolite smile diminished, an angry scowl instead on your face
yousmiled again once you had your back to the galra, putting down lance’s niece onthe floor and kissing her head sweetly
sprintingimmediately, you took a soldier down, using the limp sentry’s blaster to attackthe others.
youdrop-kicked the last sentry, effortlessly standing up with your dress and hairstill intact
lance justmanaged to get out a “wow”, and said “ahora realmente me gustaría ver ese vestido en el suelo” and earned a smack on the head from his mom (translation: now i really want that dress on thefloor; thank you to @secret-jester for the translation!)
readjustingyour hair, you grinned at his family, mostly his nephew and niece, usheringthem out before another wave of sentries stacked, and into a bomb shelter (isit safe?) with a smile
lancemade sure to mention this during steamy times after the invasion
keith:
it was inthe midst of a battle, where the paladins were helping out to rid of thegalra’s ground patrol teams surrounding the garrison. chaos was everywhere andthe galra were still rounding up citizens to force the able-bodied into workcamps (that’s what it said in s7 right? if i’m not wrong aahhh)
you wereprotecting a group of children who managed to hide it out. everyone wascrouched behind debris, the other paladins not too far away from you
youcalmed them down by singing a soft song, something your mom always did for you.most of them calmed down, at ease now that they had someone to focus on otherthan the chaos. plus you had a pretty nice dress on, it was like you were theirtemporary mom or something. you smiled at the fact that your singing helped.
hearingone of the children yelp and scream out, you immediately turned your attentionto them, seeing them struggle and kick aimlessly at the air to hopefully breakfrom the sentry’s hold.
youalmost growled out, punching the sentry straight in the fucking face becausegod the galra was such a hostile race to not even care about children! you usedyour weapon to deliver another terrible blow. the paladins already took out theearlier approaching galra, rushing over since they heard the child’s shriek
youturned back to the children, apologising for the gory sight they’d had towitness at such a young age, bringing them into the MFE’s crafts so the pilotscould bring them back to the garrison
keithsmirked, a little surprised, but not at the same time y’know? you were surehe’d seen you in the training room in the castle of lions before so he knew youcould kick ass.
but in that dress? wow
not nowboner!
but yeah,it was an eye-opening experience for him. i mean if you used it for yourpersonal private training sessions,he’d lose in a flash
keithtells you that, earning a laugh and a sweet kiss from you. his soul ascended toheaven, he was sure of that
hunk:
this alsohappens in the midst of a battle because i’m running out of scenarios rip
it wasthe scouting mission where you all had to find out more about sendak’s plans(or something like that lol)
you werepart of the ground team, being that you were more of a close-range fighter likepidge and keith
you werehelping out on the front lines, taking down stubborn sentries after thepatrolling bots (i think so?? s7 is so hazy in my head) spotted allura andjames
one ofthe sentries had hurt cosmo, so being the terribly talented medic, you quicklybandaged the wound, ruffling the light blue fur on his head and whispered thatyou’d clean up the wound properly once you return to the garrison
lancecalls out to hunk in the midst of taking out the galra like nothing (i love mysniper shooting boyfriend thank you very much). “look at (y/n)”
hunklooks through his binoculars, almost falling over from shock when he saw youkicking some good ass
hunkimmediately grins, shutting off the comms and leaving you on to talk to youprivately, “ohmy god that was so so good you’re so cool!!!!!!”
“uh hunkbuddy, we all can still hear you,” lance had said.
“fuck-”
i hc thathunk does swear, but like out of embarrassment and anger, but more ofembarrassment
hunk isall exclamation marks and smiles when he sees you take down another galrasoldier, absolutely wanting to meet you right here and now to hug you and tellyou how fucking cool it was when you kicked his face and then punched thatother galra after and then-
once theground team met up with the sniper team, he ran out to bring you up in yourarms, twirling you around and making you laugh
he had tocatch his breath after he rambled about how beautiful you looked even whilekicking ass, kissing you in front of everyone, earning groans and gagging sounds
hunk putan arm around your shoulder, bringing you close as you all headed back to thegarrison
pidge:
it’safter the scouting mission (hunk’s scenario), where they went back to thegarrison to brief to the generals/admirals about sendak’s plans for thedestruction of earth.
i mean, it wasn’t a nice way to say ‘the destruction of earth’ but, the truthhurts ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
once thegarrison and the team settled the instructions and procedures to destroy thezaiforge canons, everyone filed out of the room, walking to wherever they wereneeded for the moment.
the MFEpilots and voltron were the last to leave, finalising with kinkade about theMFE’s jobs in the operation that was to take place soon since james (whousually was the one in charge of the MFE pilots) had lashed out on hunkearlier, with rizavi calming him down
james waitedoutside, leaning against the wall, annoyed at how longthey were taking
you noticedhow james had eyed pidge during the meeting as well, staring with scorn and alittle bit of confusion, the inevitable happening once you walked alongsidepidge as she talked to her father, pitching in some ideas at the right times
“aren’tyou a little young to be a paladin? and short too…”
normally,pidge would’ve done it herself, but with the way he’d shouted at hunk and watchedpidge during the meeting, you were pissed, verypissed.
yournatural smile dropped as your head whipped to the MFE pilot, matching up to himin height, though a little shorter. you faced him, unblinking and unfazed, “oh,is your little girlfriend going to stand up for y-”
ok that’sit.
you cuthim off immediately by landing a punch on his face, a punch stronger than hisand any of the other MFEs (and even then, you were pulling your punches!). hestumbled back to take a fighting stance but was too late as he felt a kick onhis stomach, making him loose his balance and fall on his butt.
“don’tsay anything if you’ve nothing nice tosay, griffin.”
ngl,pidge giggled and sam holt was unbothered, because he knew you were protectivewhen it came to pidge, he appreciated that.
goingback to your previous discussion, another idea popped into your mind, proposingit to sam immediately.
you couldhear the other MFEs lecture james and laughed
jamesavoided you for the rest of his life LMAO
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17 Questions for 17 People
Thanks @its-bianca for tagging me in this! Sorry it’s taken so long, we’re in a third lockdown and I’m pretty sure my body thinks that time no longer exists.
Nicknames: Kim, Kimbo, Kimberlim, Kimothy, Kimberley Dibberley (For some reason my family thought that a nickname based off Cat’s other personality from Red Dwarf, Dwayne Dibberley, was funny and it’s stuck with me my whole life), as well as KIIII (shouted by my sister when she was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce my name, my best friend now yells it when she wants my attention) and Kim-Kim by my Dad who refuses to believe I’ve grown up (beats Kimberley Dibberley any day)
Height: 5'9 - towering over most men is fun, I suggest it to all of you, I’d rather round it up to six foot, but I probs stopped growing at 20.
Hogwarts House: Well I got Gryffindor when I first went on that site, but being my goth self I had to take the test again until I got Slytherin - as far as I remember I had unicorn hair (or horn?) or something of the like in my wand but I’m not gonna fuel JK’s anti-trans pockets by visiting Pottermore ever again.
Last thing I googled: The soundtrack for Futurama’s Luck of the Fryrish episode, I knew Simple Minds were on it but I could’ve sworn Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was on it, but apparently not. I spent a good half hour trying to sing it into google with their new song-analysis thing to no avail, so I ended up siphoning through all the songs Lisa Simpson has ever played on her Sax to find out what it was (I should be doing my dissertation proposal but my tutors haven’t got back to me yet so what can ye do).
Song stuck in my head: yknow wha I’m just gonna list the songs that have been stuck in my head so far today because it’s too many to be just one as I keep cycling through them (also gonna link them so you can see how garbo weird my music taste is)
Run - Joji
Alive - Pearl Jam
Clinging On For Life - The Hoosiers
Tension - Avenged Sevenfold
Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan
Nutshell - Alice in Chains
Jaded - Aerosmith
The Sea of Tragic Beasts - Fit For an Autopsy
I’ll add my current favourite at the bottom too for good measure (Honestly I spend way too much time listening to music and I regret nothing)
Number of followers: Currently 85. I’ve got about 2k on my main blog but I’ve not touched that since July 2017.
Amount of sleep: Good lord, so I aim for 8 hours, sometimes I only get 5.5 or something along those lines, other times I depression nap during the day and can’t sleep at all, sometimes (like this morning) I’ll go to get up at a normal person time such as 9am when my body naturally wakes me up, but it’s so dark and gloomy outside and cold in my room that I just stay in bed and end up accidentally falling back asleep. 12pm gang rise up xo
Lucky number: 7
Dream Job: Hopefully I get somewhat successful in monetising my hobbies, I’m working on it all atm (I don’t know why but I really hate telling people about my plans because I’m deathly afraid they’ll mock me or do whatever they can to ensure it doesn’t happen, I’ve got this list of things I need to do for my own mental health sellotaped to my laptop stand that had things like when to clean the house, do my laundry, shower, exercise etc, and my old flatmate/friend saw it the other week and mocked me, so I haven’t followed it since and need to find some sort of other way of organising my life instead). But yeah, hopefully hobby based, I don’t want to be stuck in an office job all my life, and I want to leave the UK (although I don’t want to leave my family) so hopefully I’ll be successful enough to bring em all with me.
Wearing: Well I was gonna wear jeans and my Unus Annus longsleeve but I decided to go full kitchen witch and wear this black milkmaid looking dress with long sleeves that I’d bought for work when I got my thigh tattoo started (all the old men appreciated the legs but I didn’t make any more tips, oops)
Favourite song: My favourite song of all time would be The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony , the band formed at my college, has great meaning and has resonated with me since I first saw the music video after it was played at my Stepdad’s funeral in 2002. Weirdly enough on my last day of college, right after my last exam, I went to get the bus home - put my Spotify on shuffle (bearing in mind I’ve got 805 songs on this playlist) and this came on straight away. That’s probably not important to most people, but being pagan, I like to think that small things like these are signs from loved ones that have since passed. Not too happy that it’s used as the England Rugby theme because it gives me anxiety every time as though I feel like everyone hearing it doesn’t have the same emotional connection with the song as I do, but idk. I saw Richard Ashcroft live and he played this and I legit bawled my eyes out in public, safe to say I’ll try and hold it in next time. I suggest you all have a listen to the song or even watch the music video for it, it’s the most simple but most meaningful music video to me.
Favourite Instrument: I’m left handed and I had this Yamaha acoustic guitar that my stepdad gave me - and taught me to play when I was about 5, a few months before he died (it’s still weird to me that I had no idea he had cancer at that point and instead spent his last few months teaching me his favourite hobbies) all he had was right handed guitars, so he taught me to play Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters upside down on this 20 odd year old right handed acoustic. He hadn’t played upside down himself before but did it so I could see what he was doing. I remember sitting in our green living room on the couch with him moving my hands to the right position (I don’t know where my mum was in this scenario, probably in the kitchen). He’d brought this guitar with him the first day I met him, it was probably like 11pm but I was 4 and thought it was 3am or something, but I heard voices coming from the living room and had gone to investigate - there sat my mum and my stepdad having Chinese on the living room floor, laughing together, my stepdad saw me and had brought sweets for me and my brother for when we woke up, but he beckoned me over, gave me a lollipop, stuck a two litre bottle of tizer in front of me and told me to dip the lollipop in the drink and lick it (not a good idea as I would’ve been bouncing off the walls, but I think I must’ve had a sugar crash and fallen asleep). My mum had no idea he was coming as he’d sneakily been texting her, asking what her favourite drink was, her favourite food and flowers etc, after they met in a pub when my mum was at a hostel with my brother after my Dad had taken me. My mum told him that the council had given her a place and he decided to show up and surprise her with all her favourite things and play guitar for her after my brother and I had gone to bed, I don’t remember much time passing before we’d moved into his house (where my mum and her new husband live to this day), but they got married a few months later and I still can’t play that Metallica song (I did try to teach myself more of it though). I also had this black left handed Ibanez prestige that my Dad got me for Christmas about 9 years ago, I could play quite a lot on it but eventually just stopped. Very good at piano though.
Aesthetic: I’m not sure what this entails but I’m a sucker for neon/RGB/cityscapes and that type of malarkey. Also space. Love da space.
Also whatever Cornwall would be considered as. Cottagecore? I think that’s only an animal crossing related aesthetic but I’m claiming it nonetheless.
Favourite Author: I’m a big goth so it has to be Stephen King by default. I’ve got copious first editions of his books from the 70′s and 80′s that my Mum bought when she was a teen. At my flat I’ve got Carrie, Christine, Salem’s Lot, Misery and The Shining first editions and the others are in my room at my Mum’s house. I don’t tend to read for joy like I used to, or write for fun either but I’m hoping I do more in 2021. Currently reading The Outsider by King, it sounds eerily familiar to a novel I wrote for coursework in college in 2014 and I’m half pressed to think he’s stole my brain ideas. I’m watching you Stephen. Always watching. Always.
Favourite animal sounds: I don’t have favourite sounds, but my husky Nanook is my favourite animal because he’s dumb and I love him. Also Kookaburra sounds are terrifying and you all should go listen to what a koala sounds like. When I go to Adelaide (hopefully this year, if not next) I am NOT stepping foot in a nature reserve unless I’ve got an anti-kookaburra noise suit on. They obviously don’t exist so I’m gonna have to make one.
Random: I’m part of a viking reenactment group where they use actual swords and fight each other, and we have to basically sign our lives away when we join, to say that if we die, it’s not the groups fault. I don’t actually do the fighting though, I’m part of the villager group, so I do all the crafting and food making and most of the teaching when we do shows. I’ve not yet been to a show as I’ve had uni to go to, but my parents, sister and brother do - They stayed within Whitby Abbey last year during the Viking festival where everyone did the show and the adults got drunk round campfires in the castle grounds. Zacky Vengeance once complimented my shirt if that’s something. I’m also colourblind, got glared at by Liam Gallagher in the Liverpool Echo Arena parking lot and have too accurate a sense of smell.
Sorry this was so long, obviously I felt like word-dumping and my brain has a lot to say as I find too much meaning in these things.
Thanks again for tagging me! I’ve not got 17 people to tag as I don’t interact with anyone at the moment but I’ll come back to this and add people as the week progresses :)
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I cannot stop day dreaming about Olivers bday party. It prob going to be at the loft. Of course everyone else will leave first, 'giving them the room. When he finally goes to leave I NEED Felicity to get up on her tip toes and kiss him on the cheek whispering "Happy Birthday" and then I just want him to say fuck it and kiss her. REALLY kiss her. And scoop her up and go upstairs. And at some point, whisper the words, "I want to come home." Then I can die happy. Or just be dead. Whichever.
Anon, you beautiful soul!! Way to go guessing the loft! I don’t know what I did to deserve this, because I NEVER get messages like this one, so thank you. Ugh, my heart is so very full from the picture you’ve given me that I ended up writing a *short* spec fic about it. (Based on recent spoilers, I know most of what I have written here ain’t gonna happen; but alas, I started this fic last month and wanted to finish it anyway. My Oliver deserves a happy spec fic on his birthday.)
Here’s my new favorite photo to set the stage. LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE. I’M FINE.
xxx
“NO!”
Felicity’s cry echoes across the expanse of the loft, her words bouncing off its high ceilings, sending all party guests into an unprecedented silence.
Oliver stills, every fiber in his body already tightening, already on edge, ready to pounce to protect her if need be– He relaxes a little when he realizes Felicity is not, in fact, reacting to any sort of danger. Instead, she stares with wide, horrified eyes at the knife he’s still gripping, hovering over the direct center of the cake. The cake he was just instructed to cut himself. The cake covered in exactly 32 little plastic arrows, all pointing towards the center to form a giant O.
Yet he knows that look means trouble of a different sort…a Felicity-sized and always important portion of concern.
“What’s wrong?”
Oliver quickly makes eye contact with the rest of the group, just in case anyone’s picked up on something he’s missed. But everyone appears just as confused as he is by Felicity’s new state of peril.
Felicity visibly swallows as she slowly tiptoes towards him. She licks her lips once, hesitating before meeting his gaze; and he can practically see the wheels spinning behind her eyes, as she calms herself down and tries to explain.
“I just mean…you should have the corner piece, you know? Because it has more frosting. You like frosting, right? Everyone loves frosting.”
“Felicity…” He has no idea what she’s hiding, but he can tell something’s off.
“You know what? I’ll just cut the cake. I mean, you already do so much, the least I can do is cut you a piece of cake.” She’s taking the knife from him and already cutting off a corner piece, before he can even try to stop her, all the while muttering something to herself. He leans in a bit to try to hear, but Curtis and Quentin have resumed their conversation across the table, so all he catches is something along the lines of “What was I thinking…”
God, if only he knew. He’s spent years learning to understand what Felicity Smoak says, let alone trying to make sense of what could possibly be going on inside that beautiful head of hers.
“There. That is your piece.”
Oliver eyes the plate skeptically, still unsure why this particular piece should belong to him above all the others. “This isn’t going to knock me out, is it?” he remarks.
He’s rewarded with a teasing smirk in return, one of his favorites. “Don’t worry, Mr. Masterchef. I didn’t even make it. I mean, how do you even bake for the designated baker in the group?”
He shoots her a look. “I’m not a baker, Felicity.”
That perfect little crinkle starts to form between her eyebrows, and she pouts her lips just a little, making her appear…so incredibly appealing right now. “Umm…I seem to recall one or two chocolate soufflés that strongly suggest otherwise.”
He smiles, remembering fondly one particular dinner that involved soufflé for dessert…and how differently that night could have gone if…
“Thank you,” he says, accepting the plate from her as though she were handing over her heart.
He hesitates before taking a small bite, trying not to focus too much on the fact that she’s blatantly staring at him as he eats.
“So…what do you think?” Felicity asks.
“Hmm. It’s good,” he answers truthfully, his mouth still half-full.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Felicity, what…?”
“So you’re saying you like what is in the cake?”
He pauses in his chewing to study her, trying to make sense of the question in her eyes.
“Yeah, it was great.”
“And that’s it?”
“I mean, it might be a little dry in the middle, but the chocolate tastes pretty good.”
“What?”
He frowns at her tone, somewhere between offended and worried.
Suddenly, she invades his space again, grabbing the fork from his hand, and unabashedly proceeds to rake the small metallic instrument through the cake.
“Felicity–”
“Oh no,” she breathes. He watches, slightly stunned, as her head quickly pops up, and her look bounces across the room before landing on Quentin Lance, who, heaven forbid, decides to begin cutting the other corner of the cake.
“Quentin!”
Oliver is reluctant to let her go, relishing the close, easy warmth that only Felicity can provide him, something he hasn’t experienced in ages. Yet he has little choice in the matter, since Felicity darts around the dining room table with surprising speed and makes a beeline straight to Lance.
“Can I ask you something regarding SCPD policy?”
“Well, that’s not really my expertise anymore Felicity–”
But she’s already yanking at the older man’s suit, pulling him away from the group and, Oliver notices, distinctly out of earshot. Oliver chuckles to himself, as he watches Felicity play hostess some more in that vibrant red dress of hers. And once again, since he walked back into this place that used be home earlier tonight, Oliver cannot shake the feeling that something else is going on…not just regarding Chase, but regarding them. What else is Felicity Smoak planning?
xxx
It’s almost midnight by the time the last of the birthday party crowd–John, Lyla and Thea–shuffles out the loft front door, leaving the two of them alone to fill the space that suddenly feels ten times bigger…and somehow safer. Out of some deep, calming habit, Oliver instinctively fills the silence by picking up the remaining dishes off the dining room table and moving them to the kitchen sink.
“Oh, Oliver, you don’t have to do that!” Felicity interjects. “It’s your party.”
He just softly shakes his head. “I don’t mind.”
As though moving a small stack of plates is a hassle or belittling act. Before the island, a much younger and much more selfish version of himself might have thought so, but not today. Not tonight. In truth, he feels privileged to find any easy excuse just to spend a few minutes more with in her company, to kickstart his new year with the woman he loves at his side. He’s been itching to be alone with her all night, to follow up on their recent reconciliation via a bunker lockdown.
“You should kick everyone out of here, so I can ravage you,” Felicity had teased earlier when they had managed to briefly talk alone. She’d abruptly shaken her head then, when she’d realized what she’d said–or mis-said. “I meant ravish. That’s not better.”
Though, in truth, Oliver has missed those kinds of moment between them, moments when Felicity truly lets her guard down, reminiscent of a simpler, perhaps kinder time. When she’d asked him to come over tonight, he’d been aching to know if that was a sign that maybe they’re back on the same page again, hesitant but longing, wanting to start over, to give this–them–another chance. Even now, he dares to hope that the easy, friendly, familiar manner they’ve maintained all night might still lead to something more in the future, something to live for.
It’s been awhile since the two of them have shared this particular space under strictly pleasant circumstances. The last time he was here…he was begging her not to risk her life, not even to protect him, and not unlike all the those times she’d asked him–not the Arrow but him–to stay. Angry words and yearning gazes that will always haunt him.
“It’s the least I could do,” Oliver replies, making his way to the sink. “Thank you for…hosting this.”
Felicity just waves it off in that lovely way of hers, like effortlessly making him feel more at ease in a single night than he’s felt in months is nothing. But it’s never nothing…not with her.
“Well, when John and Lyla said their place was a mess to the point that, and I quote–” She pauses to appropriately make the quotation marks with her hands, dropping her voice as deep as it’ll go in a poor but wonderfully funny impression of John. “‘Even Argus couldn’t have it ready in under a day’–and obviously we couldn’t have the party in the Arrow bunker, because…well, we work there. And that would just be awkward. And a little sad. Not that you living there is sad, I just…”
She clears her throat. “And besides, it’s only me here”–she starts, squinting her eyes–“Which you know, obviously. I’m just…I’m going to go pick up the glasses and….”
He doesn’t catch the rest, because she’s scurrying away, the punctuated tap-tap-tap of her heels is a familiar sound, filling up the empty space. And isn’t that just like Felicity Smoak–filling in all the nooks and cracks of his life with her personality. He smiles to himself, as he turns on the hot water and begins rinsing off uneaten cake crumbs. He’s almost finished with the second to last plate, when he feels a slight but somehow intimate tap at his shoulder.
He shuts off the water and turns to face her.
She’s wearing that secret smile again, her hands tucked behind her back. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Without looking away from her, he reaches for the nearest dish towel–his heart lifting strangely when his fingers find it in exactly the same spot the towels were kept all those months ago while…while he was still living here.
He watches in quiet fascination as Felicity’s cheeks turn a slightly darker shade of pink. “I um…I have another surprise for you.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I can handle another surprise tonight.”
She laughs once. “It’s a good surprise. I promise.”
“Fine.”
“It seems I forgot to give you your present.” She’s grinning mischievously, and for some reason that expression kicks his heart into an even higher gear.
He frowns, glancing around the now empty loft. “Um, I thought the party was my present?”
She flashes him the don’t-argue-with-me look, and he has to bite his lip to keep from chuckling out loud. “You’re allowed to have more than one, Oliver. Didn’t those parties at the Queen Mansion teach you anything?”
“I’m sorry. It’s been awhile since…” Since the mansion. Since I’ve had a birthday party. Since I’ve had a reason to celebrate anything.
His heart freezes when she holds up a small black box.
He’s not sure why he should be terrified of whatever she could possibly have tucked in there, but without warning he suddenly struggles to catch a full breath. He knows whatever is in that box holds something important. Because there was a time when the greatest present he could offer her was also tucked away in a little black box, just like this one.
And suddenly…he’s nervous. He can’t explain it, but somehow he’s pretty sure he knows what he’s going to find when he opens that little black box. He looks back up at her, tentatively, like he’s not sure whatever could be in such a small box could really be worth getting. But she just gives him a brief, reassuring smile.
He swallows. Is she ready for this? Are they ready?
As the box rests in the palm of his hand, Oliver feels the weight of the small object grow heavier and heavier with each eternal second.
“Oliver? This is usually the part where you, you know, open your present. I mean, no pressure. Take your time–”
Without warning, he pops the lid. He frowns, partly out of confusion, and partly because…he can’t dare to hope that… He blinks, but when he opens his eyes again, sure enough, they reveal a small silver key still covered in a few chocolate flakes and a streak of green icing flickering against the dim kitchen lights.
He’s too overwhelmed that he can’t even look at her.
“It’s a key,” Felicity chimes brightly, like that explains everything. “I tried putting it in the cake earlier, but then I realized–choking hazard–so I just decided to give it to you the old fashioned way, which is why I didn’t have time to…wrap it… Oliver?”
It’s possible he’s stopped breathing.
He can see that it is a key, but he still doesn’t understand how this could be happening. It’s too good to be real. “What…?”
“And it’s more of a symbolic gift than anything, because obviously you’re more than capable of getting into this building without a door. But I figured you’d want to have it so…” She halts, misreading the shock on his face. “Unless…you don’t want to move back here? I-I realize it’s kind of sudden, but I just thought, with everything that happened in the bunker that night… Maybe you’d like to stay here…for awhile? If you want. No pressure. I can have the guest room ready in like a day.”
She laughs once and runs her fingers through her hair, a little nervously, a little unsure, clearly waiting on him to respond. But it’s like his brain can’t even process what is happening. He’s frozen.
In the silence, Felicity presses on. “You know what, you’re probably right. We should take some time to process before making any rash decisions–not that I consider this to be rash per se. Though, if our relationship history is anything to go by… I mean, I did quit my job to run away with you–which, for the record, I do not regret–but now I’m asking you to move back in with me, and it’s all so sudden–”
He can’t even hear what she’s saying amidst the panic of her assigning words he did not say to his actions–or lack thereof–assuming the worst of him, when all he can focus on is that this seems too good to be true.
“We probably shouldn’t have a repeat like last time. Maybe we can just put a pause on the us thing and focus on you, since it’s still your day, at least for another few minutes–”
“Felicity.” Simply saying her name centers him.
She moves to take the box from him, but at last his reflexes seem to be functioning again, because he snaps the lid shut and moves the box out of her reach.
She stills, meeting his eyes, her hands resting on his arms. She swallows at whatever look he’s sending her, making his desire blatantly clear to her, now that he seems to have found his voice again.
Suddenly, the tables have turned, and she’s gone still, safe for pushing her glasses up a little further up the ridge of her nose. She licks her lips, and he zeroes in on the movement.
He leans in a little closer, and she follows his lead easily.
“I don’t want to pause.” Don’t ask me to say that I don’t love you.
“Oh.”
And suddenly he’s standing in the hallway of another old home, watching her with a heavy, confused heart, as he bares his soul for his enemies to trample and destroy. Only there’s no enemy waiting in the shadows to hurt her this time. There’s no one listening in on this conversation. It’s just the two of them…it’s finally just the two of them.
“I want to come home.” I want to be with you.
And he can’t wait any longer.
It’s like a switch goes off. One moment, they’re a safe five or six inches apart, and the next, their arms are wrapped tight around each other. In the frenzy, he quickly pushes her back against the nearest pillar. He kisses her deeply, and he feels he could absolutely drown in her here and now and have no regrets. Oh, how he’s missed her. His whole body sings, aching for her, and he’s incessantly torn between needing to cherish her everywhere and also just hold her as close as possible for as long as possible.
They slow down to a more gentle pace as the moments tick by, but they don’t stop touching–his hands running up and down her arms and the bare, perfect skin of her upper back; meanwhile, her hands are grazing his shoulders, her fingers threading the back of his neck and playing with the tips of his hair.
He likes them like this–silent, safe, where words aren’t necessary, where he can just rest in the security and steadfastness of loving her and being loved by her.
Suddenly, the kitchen microwave alarm goes off, startling them both. She gasps, twisting just enough in his arms to check the clock that’s just beyond his shoulder.
“What’s that?” He gasps, not bothering to turn around. He can’t look away from her yet.
“Midnight.” She gives him a small grin.
He sighs, leaning in just enough to press their foreheads together. His day is over, but somehow he feels like his life’s just begun anew.
Her smile changes, deepens, as she makes the first move again, rising up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. She whispers, “Happy birthday, Oliver.”
He can’t stop himself from reaching up to cup her smooth face in both hands, like he did in yet another hallway, when his life was at another crossroads, and he took the wrong path. It seems all they’ve been doing of late is living their lives in a hallway, always hovering by an unlocked door. Well, he’s done waiting. He’s done lingering.
So this time, when he kisses her, he says what he really should have said that night in the hospital, what he made a habit saying to her–and showing her–every day when he was living here. Now that he gets to do that again, he doesn’t want to waste any more time. His lips hover just over hears as he whispers, “I love you.”
He watches her eyes shine with tears, as she whispers back, “I love you, too.”
This kiss is different than the one from before. It’s slow but warm and intimate and building…. It’s more akin to the first one they shared the night they moved in here.
He starts when water splashes against his thumb. He breaks the kiss, pulling back to see that yes his Felicity is crying…tears of joy, relief, sorrow…some combination of everything. And he knows exactly what that’s like…to wrestle with a mixture of feelings that defy explanation, and how the hurt never really goes away. It’s always in there. You just learn how to carry it and keep moving forward.
But unlike so many other nights this past year, she doesn’t hide her hurt from him. They no longer have to dwell in the sadness alone. They can confront the darkness together…as they embrace the light together.
“Come on,” says Oliver. “Let’s go home.”
Felicity nods. Taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs, with his new/old key in his other hand and his heart safely in hers, she brings home. She always brings him home, the greatest and most priceless gift of all.
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Do you have anyone you fully trust?
Yeah, mostly my friends. I wouldn’t befriend them if I knew from the get-go they couldn’t keep a secret or be reliable.
What kind of pants did you wear today?
I usually wear shorts to keep myself comfortable during the warm April days.
How old is your television?
Our TVs in the living and dining rooms have been around since we moved in so that’s 12 years. My parents’ TV is around 8-9 years old, I’m not very sure. I don’t have my own TV in my room – I used to, but it got moved to my brother’s room when we realized he’d use it more since he has a PS3/PS4. That one is around 6 years old.
Do you have a laptop or desktop?
Laptop.
When did you last talk on the phone with someone?
Not so sure. I think it was a couple of nights ago.
Are you currently sleepy?
A little bit, which is why I have a cup of coffee beside me right now. ;)
Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other?
No, that’s so childish and obviously possessive eugh. I don’t like some of Gab’s friends but at the end of the day they’re still her friends, so I never feel the need to tell her to delete them.
Have you ever had bad trust issues with someone?
Yep. That’s why to make things easier for me I just stop talking to them entirely.
What accent do you think is the most attractive?
There’s a certain kind of British accent that I find very pleasurable to listen to... think the cast of Love Actually and how everyone there talked, haha.
Do you own any television series box sets?
I have an unofficial box set to the 1980s show Perfect Strangers that my dad bought for me. Other than that, no – I do have copies of some of my favorite shows like Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead, but they’re all kept in a hard drive.
Have you ever been in a fight with your best friend?
I’ve been in numerous fights with Gab. My last fight with Angela was back in the 5th grade probs.
Do you have high standards?
Eh, for certain things but not everything. I have high standards for group projects and papers – my groupmates don’t just get away with writing in whatever style they wish or designing our Powerpoint however way they want if they’re grouped with me; I’m a bit of a control freak when it comes to that. Which for me is an ok trait to have since more often than not I WILL see a grammar error or a haphazardly-made slide in a Powerpoint.
When it comes to food and vacations I also tend to be a bit uppity since both my parents have worked in the hotel industry for almost 30 years, so over time I’ve learned to identify which accommodations are good and which aren’t.
When did you last receive a hug and who was it from?
I haven’t received a hug in more than a month. I’m rottinggggggg.
Do you take any advanced classes?
No. I don’t think we can do that here, or if we even have that concept.
What is your lucky number?
I don’t have one.
Do you own a book bag? If so, what color is it?
No I don’t, I only have large backpacks since I tend to carry a lot of stuff for school.
Was the last movie you watched a horror film?
I didn’t watch it in full, but yeah The Shining is very much a horror flick.
Do you own a lot of tee shirts?
Yeah, both for outside and for home wear. They’re just comfortable and convenient to have lol.
Do you plan your outfits ahead of time?
Not always. I plan my outfits mostly if I’m going to be seeing my girlfriend the next day since I always want to look nice for her, and to look cute if we’re gonna go to the mall hahaha.
Have you ever spent the night in jail?
I have not. I’ve read Chris Jericho’s account of having to stay the night in a cell for a DUI and it sounds like a nightmare, though.
Would you say you're a bad influence on others?
No. If I do act like a bad influence it’ll always be jokingly - like telling my friends to cut class so we can have lunch together - but in the end I’ll tell them to go to their class, or at least to make their own decision.
Describe your favorite jacket?
It’s a UP-themed varsity jacket, and it’s maroon and has the name of the school in big letters at the back.
Are you a colorful person or quite bland?
I always try to be colorful, of course. I would hate to have to describe myself as bland.
List one word to describe your significant other?
Right now, annoying. In general, she’s understanding.
Do you handle pain well?
It’s one of the few things that I don’t. I can’t handle pricks to the skin, gashes, paper cuts, etc.
Have you ever been so nervous you threw up?
No, I find myself feeling barf-y only if I have a bad headache or, more predictably, if I’ve had too much to drink.
Where is your favorite place to go when you're depressed?
I like going to Skywalk because I can always count on the fact that at least one orgmate will be there at any time of the day, and my orgmates are my family and make me forget about my problems instantly. If Skywalk doesn’t help, I go to my car and cry as much as I need to.
If I’m not at the university I like going to our couch in the living room, because my bedroom only makes me more depressed and I have had particularly bad episodes when I had willingly stayed there in the past.
Do you remember the first survey you took?
I’ve always recorded my surveys on Tumblr so the first one is on my first survey blog, the one I got locked out of last 2016 haha.
How many friends do you have on Facebook?
I don’t feel like checking exactly how many but it’s in the 660s or 670s.
Have you ever watched fight videos for amusement?
No thanks, any video involving any kind of conflict stresses me out.
In high school, were you in trouble a lot?
Nah. My friend group were mild troublemakers but we all performed well in school, had good grades, and respected teachers at the end of the day so they didn’t really have a reason to penalize us.
Do you enjoy your hairstyle?
I like it a lot better than my boring straight hair, but with the lockdown making all salons close for the meantime, I have no idea what to do with my bangs that are growing too long now D:
Do you have long hair or short hair?
It’s a lot shorter than before.
How much make up do you wear on a daily basis?
Zero. I only wear makeup for parties or formal events.
What is your favorite television show?
Breaking Bad and Friends.
Do you have a leather jacket?
No. I don’t really need that here either... I can’t imagine how hot I’d feel wearing that.
Do you think anyone dislikes you for no reason?
Sure. Don’t most people have one person they feel this way towards lmaoooo
Do you have any children?
Nope.
Have you ever been interviewed on television before?
Nah but we’ve had media crews visit our school before to look for interviewees for segments in news programs. I’ve always just said no and watched my friends from behind the camera.
Do you have weak upper body strength?
A little but it’s improved a whole lot from my fitness class last sem.
What is the worst insult someone can call you?
A failure.
Do you write on your hands a lot?
Only back in high school. I have no idea what made me stop as soon as I started college but thank fuck I did because it was such a poor habit to have.
Are you good at sketching?
I’m no good at any kind of drawing or creating images.
Do you think hugs are awkward?
If it’s not with the right person or if I hugged someone who wasn’t a hugger then yeah, they can be awkward.
Do you think facial hair is gross?
No unless it’s neglected and has like gunk or food bits in it. But I don’t mind hair in general.
Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color?
Sure.
What color was the last cup you drank from?
My coffee mug :) It has a black decor on the outside that turns bright blue when the liquid inside is hot, so that I know to be careful with it.
Ever play Angry Birds?
I did play it back in 2010 but I was already pretty old then (at least for those kinds of games) so I didn’t really enjoy it. We had it on the family iPad for a while though because my brother, who was 6-7 at the time, liked the game.
Did you think it was annoying, like I did?
The sounds were a bit annoying, sure.
Have you ever been to the zoo before?
No, but close. My old school has its own eco-park that we used to visit every now and then.
What instruments do you know how to play?
Just the recorder, which really shouldn’t count lol.
How late did you stay up last night?
Till 4 AM, I think.
How late do you plan on staying up tonight?
I have no idea. Definitely not now, though.
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