#but not when ppl act like that person did not abuse his real life girlfriend
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Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep3
This ep is exactly like se02, ep 24, meaning it was divided clearly into two parts. While the graduation theme unties the two parts, you can point things out exactly like ep,24:
1st part : Machi’s story= the important part.
2nd part: scattered parts here & there that concern yuki, ep, 24 his interactions with akito, here his interactions with Motoko).
plus, an ep cliff hanger: (e, 24 the dvd given to kureno, here, Isuzu’s mysterious fate).
it is exactly the same even a small kyo/tohru moment!. School graduation instead of the zodiac’s new year gathering.
Really awkward pacing, but that’s furuba, we celebrate when they DO connect dots for once! lets talk abt the REAL ep: MACHI.
-Machi’s awkward presence:
Although I love Machi, I’ve voiced my concerns abt her character in Furuba:
It seemed that Machi was solely created to be a step in yuki’s success journey more than a character on her own right. After getting motherly love (tohru) leaving the nest, Yuki needed friendship (kakeru), then as an independent man, he needs romantic love: (Machi). This is all fine initially but I was yearning for more individuality for Machi as a character. All furuba characters were given space to be unique including minor characters like Motoko who narrated her own story each time she’s on screen & we lived it with her within two seasons & a number of eps.
However, Machi’s background was introduced thro her brother’s exposition in se02 & that moment was a yuki/ kakeru bonding moment.
Thro kakeru’s exposition we learned how similar yuki & machi are (the parental neglect, high expectations, cold sibling relationship, Big brother saves himself by himself, big brother pushing for redemption & the younger sibling’s still trapped silently ). While that makes for romantic appeal between the two which makes the writer’s job easier, it steals from Machi individuality.
Then her part in ep, 24 was shown & I was given hope for Machi’s individuality as her own inner voice spoke volumes abt her as a person away from yuki (romantic interest) or Kakeru (big brother). Having a lot of screen time, while can make a character more believable to the audience, is never a factor in character’s depth nor individual worth. Heck! kyo (part of the main trio & the main character’s love interest) has only ONE ep in se02 to explore his issues & by far it is my fave ep in se02 as it established kyo’s trauma, psyche, mental issues & emotional baggage better than I could ever imagine! You can DO WONDERS with little time if you knew what to do. That’s what happened with Machi this ep (half ep).
-Machi’s shines! (trauma & romance):
I was so relieved to learn that altho both Machi & yuki despised perfection as it suffocated them, the writer (thankfully) went abt a different approach with Machi. Unlike Yuki who went silent cuz he felt his voice didn’t matter as he was used as a tool, Machi went silent cuz she was was NOT needed, & not only discarded but painted as WRONG. If you admit that raising me this way is wrong, then what does this make me? What should I do with myself? I’m wrong! boring, a failure, & a presumed killer!! all while I was absolutely doing my best! all while I was having good intentions! It is devastating but It makes Machi real. A character on her own right with her own trauma, struggle, pain & outlook on life. Although, the writer made the whole yuki/Machi meeting orchestrated by Kakeru to quickly make the two siblings one step closer, it worked cuz kakeru chose to not interfere after setting the scene. He played a subtle mach maker & tried to find happiness for his sister silently. Kakeruy is yuki’s best buddy & Machi becoming the girlfriend, the trio will have to hang out more which will slowly but surely warm Machi towards Kakeru. While the flat visit is the part where Machi open the lid to Yuki with a spark of romance at the end, the chalk scene is the romantic part! Not only did Yuki noticed her panic & saved her by breaking a piece of chalk, she secretly remembered his promise! “ lets make footprints on the snow”. The snow that was another source of anxiety attack, is now sth she looks forward to & prays for! Truly romantic!!! Well-done writer.
Side Notes:
I know furuba is shoujo & it’s abt love, but C’mon! where did Nao/ Motoko come from??!! XDD Who is left without love interest? Kyo’s rejected fangirl loved by one of kyo’s buddies? The maids in love with Akito? Momiji? Who does Kimi love besides money? XD
Yuki once observed that kyo makes tohru happy with small things, Today he did the same! A broken piece of chalk.
Yuki/ Machi romantic scenes contrast Yuki/ tohru forced romantic scene at the earlier seasons. There is no lame cringy lines like “ I’ll kidnap you & go to a vacation” or kissing a ribbon. There is NO acting or pretentious lines. Here a piece of chalk did the trick, an understanding of her tears & a head pat, a promise to walk on snow together! Congratulations Yuki, You made it into romantic boyfriends category! XD. also, good writing!
The Bra scene is the real comedy in the ep.
Arisa’s “ kyon, we won’t forgive you if you hurt tohru” is gold cuz kyo WILL. When it’s time to confess he knew kyoko & she HATES him & doesn’t forgive him, tohru would be hurt! Even if she wasn’t in love with kyo!!! Knowing your beloved’s last words were hateful is painful!! Add to this that tohru loves kyo & would be struggling between forgiving him or not!! Add to this that kyo might NOT want to be forgiven!!
“ I won’t forgive you”. kyo’s haunting reminder that he’s unforgivable is now shared by kyoko, yuki, Hana & Arisa!!
look, you might argue that furuba’s romantic writing might be a bit awkward with all sorts of romantic couples, age gaps, the need for everybody to be in love one way or the other & so on, but the traumatic behavioral writing is the best!!!!! I was never disappointed with how Takaya write abused traumatized children’s behavior. One of my fave scenes is yuki/ kyo in the stairs in se02 where kyo lashed out on yuki & yuki was over it. While that scene was rightfully celebrated for yuki’s triumphant attitude as he got over his trauma, I love it for the realistic trauma filled attitude of kyo, all charged with kyoko’s flashback! He’s in deep & he’s all by himself! Kyo will hurt tohru cuz he loves her just like how kazuma hurt him by forcefully taking his bracelet cuz he loves him. Kyo will be thinking it is for the best, who would want to be with someone that kyoko of all ppl hates!
I’ll tolerate all the weird love couples in furuba, but the moment trauma is written weakly I’ll drop the show. There is NO way, kyo will confess kyoko’s lines then go “sorry abt that tohru, we’re good?”
Back to Machi, I really hope that her trauma isn’t merely wrapped up cuz yuki loved her. Furuba was never abt love heals, it is abt love helps. We might not see more of her trauma for reasons of space, or not related to the current plot lines, but I really hope we hear her talk abt herself with yuki even few lines. Although, I feel that the focus now will be on setting her for yuki’s next stage in character development: honesty in the love confession. He’ll tell her abt the curse as the trailer hinted at. That’s their first love life struggle. But if I were to take a guess, it will be dealt with quickly like her trauma. She loves yuki dearly & as long as he walks with her in snow (human or rat, lol), it’s all good. <3
Hior’s mom is love.
Kagura’s new style is love! she isn’t dressed overly cutely anymore, but had a more comfortably style & I love her hair! also her friendship with Isuzu! <3. I wish Isuzu would really know there are ppl worried abt her in her life. Haru isn’t the only one.
Akito put Isuzu in the cat room, didn’t she? The place she left is similar to the place young Kazum wandered to in se01, ep25. & those scissors....
I never thought that the mere sight of shigure’s face will disgust me. XD. I still find him so intriguing, but yeah need time to get over the fact that he slept with Ren & counted it even with Akito, then slept with Akito afterwards! EWWW! so disgusting & I’m here to see this drama escalate!
Yuki / Machi moment was interrupted! XD It’s not fun when it happened to you, yuki? XD.
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I found this on twitter and wanted (try) to answer them here instead. :B Great questions! thanks. @LM_Nocass twitter.com/LM_Nocass/ status/1292935841258647553
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𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥/𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥/𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲);
2:28 PM · Aug 10, 2020 --------------@LM_Nocass
1. Which part of herself does Carol see in Daryl? ||um same brokenness past and seeing that there’s good parts in him. He’s not like Merle and Ed.
2. Which part of himself does Daryl see in Carol? ||They both know what it’s like to be abused and have an understanding. He sees strength in her. /...I think they slowly start to think they’re not alone on feeling like the odd one out or fighting to live before Apoc. They eventually think they’re a lot alike and connected right away. s1-s2. I guess they both started to grow at the same time and look after each other’s back ever since.
3. If there was no za and they met each other, would they be so close? Why? ||Yeah I think so. But not so close or “early” on. Probably lil glimpse of like oh they’re alike and good people. But other things in the way...like Carol or Daryl be stuck in bad situations and die or something. Y’kno Daryl would’ve been like “mini Merle” or like.... dead from stopping a fight or prison. Carol could just be dead or lost herself from being with Ed. ...Unless they got away from their abusers :) I can see there’s a chance of them getting close. *”mini Merle” I think I got this phrase wrong. Mini Merle is Merle’s hand weapon thing. I meant that Daryl would have become more damaged,lost, and be similar to Merle then. ..like a younger Merle.
4. How do you think, Alexandria's ppl ship them or they don’t care? Why? ||
BTW, I think of what the writers want or had in mind.. Anyway, when Rlchonne happened or Abe and Sasha went canon, it just seems like very neutral whatever way. Well I guess the show isn’t that .. charactery and romantic. -_- Anyway, I think they care and are supportive and of all Team family but mind their business. I think practically everyone knows about Caryl and their close relationship. I guess they’re like in the same boat as us or general fans. We would be happy if they get together but if not then like ....hmm you guys are so together~ Um..I guess people would be going WTF if Caryl grew apart.
5. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to believe in supernatural stuff? Why? || they both seem to be into that. erm I’ll say Daryl.
6. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to send a lot of Red heartFace throwing a kissSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes and etc? Why? || Carol is more open to display of affection. But Daryl got his heart on his sleeves. He’s straightforward tells/show you how he feels and means it.
13. What would do today's Carol if she met someone like Ed? ||Probably she be able to stand up to him when he starts to be controlling and she speak out and say it’s not right. Idk..maybe them talking it out will make Ed change himself if he wants to. And she walks away from him early on.
14. If today's Carol met past Carol, what would she say to her? ||You’re stronger than you think you are. You are enough. These hard times made her wiser in Apoc./life. She’s always a mother..when they’re gone, they’re still with her.
15. If today's Daryl met past Daryl, what would he say to him? ||This doesn’t always have to be this way/Merle-life. You’re not alone. Good people will stick with you. Trust them. Your goodness matters. You don’t need to depend on Merle. If Merle wouldn’t change now then he won’t later on. Idk... Daryl is so loyal and to his brother. So it’s just he gotta let Merle/his past go.
16. Why does Daryl prefer the crossbow, not a bow? ||I guess that’s what hunters like to use most often. Idk.
17. AU: real life. Which one of them is most likely to surfing in the Internet for hours? Why? ||Carol because she mentioned internet in s4. lol Okay um yeah Carol I guess. I think she likes to research on things. Daryl is more outdoorsy kind of person.
18. AU: real life. Which one of them will have a private acc on social medias and who won’t care? ||I think both would be private...or heck Daryl not private but barely any content. lol Just hunting, nature stuff and games.
19. AU: real life. Which one of them will send memes? ||Carol because she like goofy or sassy jokes.
20. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Carol? Why? ||hmm housewife, teacher, nurse, or something to look after the community.. She likes to cook but Idk if she likes to do it often. Some job to care about the people and place.
21. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Daryl? Why? ||A hunter, mechanic, or construction worker. Something like hands-on job.
22. Which of them has a black sense of humor? ||I think Carol have a dark/black sense of humor. Daryl is ..more less humor-y. more sarcastic. idk what im saying.
23. Had Daryl ever thought about having children? If he did, he would prefer boy or daughter? ||I think he never really thought of it till he’s away from Merle/past life. But Idk I think he doesn’t really think on it. He just wants to protect all kids. He’s Uncle Daryl. I don’t think he has a preference.
24. Is Daryl asexual or demisexual? Or other? Why? ||Read ? #10. I say so far it seems like he’s demisexual from what Kang said and from what people/fandom been always questioning him from the show and from that 6 years in woods plot. (Also the show isn’t that showy on romance and relationships so I didn’t think they would bother to address his romance/sexuality but they did so ok.) I guess I always think of him as demisexual...or someone who would be friends to lovers kind of person. He’s the closest with Carol so..slowburn to canon, yeah? /// This makes me think of Carol’s relationships and how she is fine having sex anytime ..no emotions involved way...She doesn’t really have or know a good emotional canon relationship except almost with Zeke, I guess.
25. Carol’s fav movie genre(s)? ||Romcoms <3
26. Daryl’s fav movie genre(s)? ||action / horror :O
27. When the show ends, what kind of ending do you want for them? ||I want good writing and that flows right. Caryl be Caryl. I guess them riding off to the sunset to New Mexico. Or..looking after team family in ASZ or TF working together to find/help Rick and living their best lives in a community. A happy ending pls.
28. Which one of them is good at math? ||hmm Carol. Daryl would be good at reading..science.
29. If there was Caryl movie, what song(s) would you add to it? || hmm a song to add, I would pick ..”You and Me” by Pink I think. Or, “X and Y” by Coldplay. Or, “Cosmic Love” by Florence Machine.
30. Did Daryl help you? ||I really appreciate the writers and the acting did with Daryl and Carol. They’re really unique, interesting and relatable characters. Daryl helped me to keep being myself and do what’s right even when you feel odd ball out. Idk I also like that we see characters like Daryl and Carol what we stereotypical think they may be like in s1 but then we see they’re relatable and we can be more open minded to other people. I liked that we see him getting a chance to grow and see how loyal he is.
31. Did Carol help you? ||Yeah. I really like how she’s like I guess most people in s1, quiet, timid, not quite fit into the Apoc. world, but learns to trust herself, get braver and open up. She’s like so strong and brave now but it’s not surprising to see that in a way because we see her character development and I like how writers and acting, made it so relatable and realistic to me. We all can be like Carol. //I think she’s a great character to watch for mothers who lost kids or was a abused wife/person. Same with Daryl as a abused child/brother in that Merle’s lifestyle.
32. What did Caryl give you? Hope? Strength? ||I really like what became Caryl in the show for years. They became one of my fave ships. They’re unique and I love that we see their strong bond and connection. They’re soulmatey and angsty. Idk I feel like they gave hope that there are people that will get you and have your back. And strength, they grown so much and made me think about myself to keep facing my fears and be in a healthy relationship.
33. Carol’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country pop. Idk.. I think McReedus are into Rock music so.
34. Daryl’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country rock. ...Idk Metal music.
35. Describe Carol in one word. ||Brave
36. Describe Daryl in one word. ||Loyal or uh a word that means does what he think is the right thing to do...and caring. Uncle.
37. What do you expect from them in season 11? ||Idk I’m really clueless. TWD right now is really not by the comics anymore and it’s hard to speculate now. I’m kinda hoping they have something a plot that relates to taking care of the Grimes kids and a plot/s that relates to Rick’s journey/TWD show. Idk well I guess they be figuring it out what to do with Maggie and politics with the ..spoiler- new communities.
I hope for good writing and if they go canon, I hope they write good relationship/romance writing. As in they don’t separate them and break up a bunch of times or be boring. eek. I hope it’s like they still be like the subtle canon ship..like RIchonne as there is something else they have to do together. Like they be canon but they talk about the new plots/problems/family in s11 and their relationship grows.
38. Your favorite Caryl season(s)? Why? ||It’s season 2 or s10. I feel it’s the most Caryl interaction and them deepening their relationship.
39. When do you think Daryl was ready to start a relationship? Or do you still think he isn't ready? Or he is ready rn? ||Whenever the writers are ready. :\ I think as a character he’s ready...yeah especially s10. He’s not hiding and being emo in the woods in s9. He’s not the (Rick’s)sidekick character anymore. He’s I think grown a lot by being with people and opening up being a leader-like now, domestic?,leading character, and I think he’s now more ready to have romantic relationship if he wants to. And for Carol ..rn is like does she feel worthy or ok to have love again. ooh angst.
40. Which of them is owl, and which of them is lark? Why? || I think Daryl is a lark/early bird because he likes the quietness and time to hunt, and Carol is a night owl because she likes to know what else is going on when it’s the dark.
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Fallane and Eliza Fate, please
Alright, these two are from different ‘verses just fyi. so any supernatural elements are very, very different, as well as social situations.
WARNING: Fallane’s contains reference to some things that might be triggering. nothing in-detail, but please be advised.
Full Name: Fallane
Gender and Sexuality:
male-ish but with a rising intonation and a hand-wiggly gesture. sexuality is definitely just a hand-wiggly gesture, we think he has a slight preference for men but tbh no one cares
Pronouns:
he/him. if you used other ones he probably wouldn’t object but if you asked he’d say ‘he/him’
Ethnicity/Species:
Egyptian. and he’s like,,, vaguely a demon but not actually. he’s
supposed
to be one of the generals/servants/sextoys/whatever of AN ASSHOLE who reincarnates every 30 years or so, possesses a young girl, and makes everyone’s life hell but he said ‘nope that’ and (mostly) left. so he’s not actually a demon but that’s what his kind got characterized as by various mortals and usually he doesn’t correct people
Birthplace and Birthdate:
like literal ancient egypt in like 2,700 bc or smth
Guilty Pleasures:
I don’t think he’s guilty about any of his pleasures.
that came out way more sexual than I intended
I just meant that he likes things and he’s not ashamed of it
Phobias:
ahhhh this ‘verse is so dark help. I’d say sexual assault is pretty high on the list. I think he’s also a bit claustrophobic. more than a bit. he’s very claustrophobic he just doesn’t get into many situations like that
What They Would Be Famous For:
he could be a model? like actually. he wouldn’t but he
could
. he’s got a wicked fashion sense and is really good at makeup. ooh he could model makeup too
What They Would Get Arrested For:
can u get arrested for smoking indoors? he would. or shoplifting. he likes petty crime because either a) ‘this shouldn’t be privately owned and private ownership is just a social construct’ or b) ‘haha what are u gonna do, catch me?’
OC You Ship Them With:
Sam!! Sam Reeve x Fallane is best ship. you could also ship him with Kai but Sam is most perfectest. I made a ship name for them but it’s lame and I’m not sharing unless u dm me. I also ship Fallane with a healthy lifestyle but that’s never gonna be canon so
OC Most Likely To Murder Them:
does Nara canonically murdering him count? there r a lot of ppl who want to murder Fallane so I feel like this is an unfair question. Kai genuinely hates him for a large part of the story. ahaha Kai canonically kills him too jesus christ Fallane you’ve been killed three times you gotta chill. but I think Nara would be more likely to succeed than Kai so. the answer I pick is Nara. in a sarcastic way tho it’d be Mista, who is so done with his shit and she’s the type to say ‘im going to murder you’ when he like, puts his feet on the table or something
Favorite Movie/Book Genre:
mystery? anything he can sarcastically criticize the plot of, tbh. maybe horror
Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:
if he’s a horror fan, then it’d be where any time someone says ‘dont do this’ the person does it and dies. I think he definitely dislikes the ‘aliens are always technological experts’ cliche like what if the explorers are anthropologists with no clue how their ship works?? did you ever think of that?? no you didn’t
Talents and/or Powers:
his main talent is sarcasm. he’s very gifted with picking up languages and accents, and he has a high appreciation for all forms of art. in the supernatural realm, he’s got a lot. he’s a natural low-level empath, and then he got powers on top of that, which made him nigh immortal, gave him rly cool wings, and magical charisma (which is like subconscious suggestion, except,, magic) which he mostly uses to convince people he’s paid for shit he
hasn’t
paid for. in the name of disabling capitalism, of course, and not because he just wants the pillow. then he’s also got some extradimensional abilities which are often interpreted as a kind of telekinesis but isn’t technically. and his empathic abilities get turned up to eleven until he can project so hard he can accidentally (or purposefully) kill someone
Why Someone Might Love Them:
if you’re about grey moralities, ambiguity, and anti-heroes, you’ll probably love Fallane. he’s also very protective, and a single dad of energetic twins so there’s no shortage of relatability, either. but I think a lot of his charm comes from his interactions with other characters, because he feels very strongly and brings many things other characters are afraid to say. there’s a weighty sense of honesty with him, and a real desire to do right by the world and help the downtrodden. he also struggles with trauma and mental illness and he’s really, really messed up but he
tries
and sometimes he fails and I think people will find a surprising amount to identify with. Fallane is my ultimate walking contradiction, but I think it works.
Why Someone Might Hate Them:
I feel like he’s a character people would be just indifferent toward UNTIL people started being apologists and saying he does nothing wrong and then he’d be one of those characters that the fandom just splits on, as polarizing ends get increasingly more argumentative. he can be manipulative too and I think people might take issue with things like that, but I feel like most people who would actively hate him would be misinterpreting him. he’s not supposed to be a paragon of good morality
How They Change:
in the first few waves of this ‘verse Fallane was a definite villain, if a hero-aiding anti-villain. then I decided villains were overrated and now there’s no villains, just a complicated mess of varying degrees of grey morality. in canon, this is reflected. he goes from a certain ‘I can’t do anything substantial about it so I just won’t bother’ to someone who
acts
on his desire to combat discrimination and abuse. he also gets his family back, and gains a little sister, and he’s constantly learning how to love (in every way) and how to
live
.
Why You Love Them:
honestly?
because
he’s learning how to live. much of Fallane’s backstory (and his role-switch from anti-villain to anti-hero) came from when I got over being suicidal, so he’s sometimes a comfort character. ngl, I also love his aesthetic. I’m also a bit biased because he has ocd and I have ocd and that’s relatable too and it makes his aesthetic
extra
relatable. he’s also incredibly emotional and that’s always an adventure to write. I really love Fallane guys.
also this ao3 tag is like the greatest descriptor of him:
Full Name: Eliza Fate
Gender and Sexuality:
female, bisexual
Pronouns
: She/Her
Ethnicity/Species:
English. and she’s a vampire so uh yea
Birthplace and Birthdate:
England and uh….. like…. idk….. a long time ago
Guilty Pleasures:
both slow and fast jazz music. also she’s surprisingly good with children - I like to think that sometimes, she volunteers at daycare-like-places in the shadier parts of town where there’s too many kids and not enough workers and she just helps out these toddlers and teaches them to jazz dance, the way you teach little kids anything, which is hold them and pretend they’re following anything you’re saying
Phobias:
I don’t think she’s phobic of anything, but she’s afraid of losing her family. they’re very important to her and I think her deepest fear is that someday she’s going to wake up completely alone. she’s not afraid of any one person leaving (obviously she’d be upset), it’s just the idea that
everyone
could disappear
What They Would Be Famous For:
she’s kind of famous within the criminal underworld because she’s like a mob boss, and she’s mostly famous for having a very large family, and for being independent. she went almost two centuries without a right-hand man/woman/etc which, especially as a woman, was quite unique
What They Would Get Arrested For:
I mean she already murders ppl and runs a mafia so that
could
get her arrested, but if she ever got caught it’d probably be something like she murdered a child abuser or something really,
really
violently and not well-planned
OC You Ship Them With:
Itsuki, who’s her canon boyfriend, and Andrea, who’s her canon girlfriend. she’s poly and her relationships are usually open relationships, including with those two. I also ship her hardcore with Katsumi, although that’s a very different dynamic (1960s lots of drugs and alcohol and free sex and it’s about pushing each other further and further and not always healthy but they know that and it’s okay). I feel like Eliza would be really great for romance fanfic because you can go with many time periods!
OC Most Likely To Murder Them:
Rin. boi Rin has wanted to murder her since he met her probably, he just hated her on principle and then Eliza went and decided she liked Itsuki so Rin hated that and
then
she started dating Katsumi too and so she’s in love with both his roommates and that pisses Rin off. it’s funny.
actually it’s often really depressing because they end up blaming each other for Katsumi’s death and just about everything else and I think Rin might actually wish she had never existed but
usually it’s a sarcastic ‘I would murder you right now Eliza I swear’
Favorite Movie/Book Genre:
slice of life. I think she likes the variety and the normalcy of it all, and she usually thinks the couples are cute. her least favorite genre is probably mystery
Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:
love triangles. they’re way, way overdone. also they invalidate the possibility of poly or open relationships. on a less serious note, she hates any mystery story that ends with like ‘the detective was the culprit all along!’ there’s not really a reason why she hates that but. she does. I made her I make the rules
Talents and/or Powers:
powers: well, she’s a vampire. talents: charisma. she is very good at getting people to understand her viewpoint, when she puts her foot down on something, which is rare. she’s also good at dancing. and very good at sex too apparently. she’s good with children too! but only really smol ones, once they get above like 5 they’re usually assholes
Why Someone Might Love Them:
she’s strong, and independent, and I think she’s over all a good person. she doesn’t take shit from people, but she doesn’t assume that people
are
giving her shit. she’s quite easy-going, all-in-all. she’s also really loving to her family, and in many ways she fulfills feminine roles, but the way she does them and the way she thinks about them are empowering, I think
Why Someone Might Hate Them:
when Eliza was first conceptualized in mid high school, I was terrified that people would see her as bad representation because she’s not morally straight
and
I worried that making her bi and poly would make people angry. but I think I’ve mostly gotten past that? idk. but I definitely think people might dislike her for her constant relationships - she doesn’t do well if she doesn’t have at least one datemate, and people might see that as too dependent or needy. she sometimes comes across as needy, so there’s that. I think there’d definitely be Eliza Fate stans and Eliza Fate haters
How They Change:
you get to see her progression from the civil rights era to present day, and she does change a bit, but overall she’s one of the most stable characters in this ‘verse. she really learns to accept rejection, and since she adopts a literal child (Nayeli) into her family and doesn’t raise Nayeli with any expectations of her joining the Family, I think she learns to work with people during their formative adolescent years, too
Why You Love Them:
Eliza is a character from the second wave of this ‘verse, so she’s quite old to have changed so little. I also love how she can differ depending on the time, so her roles change depending on the context. her personality doesn’t really change between any of them, but she’s a very complex character (a side effect of having been in my head for at least 5 years) and you can actually
see
all her facets. also she’s a mob boss mom??? like that’s cool idk she’s super suave and i’m gay
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** this got mad towards the end and it wasn't a targeted sort of mad at anyone in particular so much as a tired & probably-stemming-from-always-having-thing-I-enjoy-and-the-way-I-engage-with-it belittled sort of mad. And as my father has always taught me, having or expressing emotions is shameful and wrong, so sorry.
Idk I think it's like....harder for me to cast judgement RE: ~cheating scandals~ or w/e because it goes back to it all being completely theoretical to me.
No one's ever, face to face, at any time in any way expressed any kind of romantic interest in me whatsoever, I've never been in a relationship of any kind. It hasn't come up, and that's fine. Whether this is a case of you cannot miss what you've never had or whether I'm just like....a broken empty vessel for whom the yearning for human contact has gone beyond recall or desire, I dunno, and it doesn't concern me. This isn't a pity me statement or an uwu secret crush notice me statement, I literally don't care at this point and tbh can't remember ever having done so.
Probably my oldest friend at this point, she....like as long as I've known her she's dated married men almost exclusively (and this started when we were both in highschool, when she was screwing around w/ her married english teacher - something I now understand was shocking predatory behaviour and probably statutory rape besides, but she does not acknowledge it as such so bring it up isn't my place). She's been seeing the current one for at least three years now, I think, and he's married. It's certainly an uncomfortable thing, and god knows I don't believe he could possibly think much of her or his wife if he's been doing this for so long and never once manned up and been honest or seriously considered ending his marriage. But it's her life and we don't talk much anymore anyway, so I've never felt like it was my job or my place to be her therapist RE: holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you why do you do this to yourself and how could you do this to someone else?
Like full disclosure she started ‘seeing’ that english teacher when we were sort of puppy love internet-together (another long story but she wanted to or at least said she did and I sorta went along with it cos I didn't want to hurt her feelings...which of course, then it certainly seemed v. much like she didn't have many of, considering within a week she was having it off w/ someone else...again, this was a detached ‘Oh’ kind of moment, not really connected to any real hurt as she had instigated this and I hadn't really felt anything myself...it was upsetting in a sort of, ‘so this is what people do when they tell you they love you, that is disappointing but I guess life is not fiction’ kind of way but not in a ‘how could you, I love you’ kind of way. As a first/only experience it could have gone better tbh, but it certainly gave me the right level of expectation afa being used & discarded when someone more convenient came along).
It's possible that most of the people I have ever known have just been fundamentally really bad at relationships and so I just sort of assume this is a normal thing; my father is an abusive shitbag and we're inescapably trapped with him, grandpa was a sort of...disinterested stick in the mud with a frightening temper for whom my grandmother gave up all her interests in sports and the outdoors because he did not share them. Wabs never married, Tosh told me like she was expecting a pat on the back and a medal that she'd been faithful to her husband as he died of cancer 'even though she ‘didn't have to be.’ And my instinctive reaction wasn't GOOD FOR YOU so much as it was “....what?!” but again...I didn't speak, because what the fuck do I know? Maybe ppl run off and start seeing other ppl as soon as their partners get so much as a headcold all the time.
Ppl just sorta get abused and trampled and left and cheated on and discarded, or they do the same to others, and it just looks like a hell of a mess I'm well out of, tbh. Which I guess is another reason...unless somebody's getting beat or otherwise abused, I feel like it's none of my business. So honestly, “Tana slept around when he was single and one day some chick he canoodled with for like two months stabbed him for it” is filed under “Yeah that'll happen, thank god he didn't die” rather than “Hahahahaha karma amiright he totes deserved it, domestic abuse and attempted murder are hilarious when they’re directed at men who’re full of themselves!”
Nobody needs to tell me to have low fuckin' expectations for men, ok, I live under the boot of one of their idiot kings. Tell me Tana fatshames his family for eating, tell me he gaslights them or acts like when they’re hurt or injured they’re making it up to personally inconvenience him, tell me they have to rigidly control their emotions around him to avoid setting off his violent temper, and ok. Tell me he's a bigot, tell me he hits his family, tell me he hates women, tell me he's a rapist, ok. But like...’he had a lot of sex and probably hurt people's feelings’ is not really high on my list of cardinal offenses b/c as far as I can tell, that's fucking everyone. It isn't like he still does, it isn't like he's not tried to put it behind him and grow from it and be better. It's practically his motto. Why is ‘I acted in a shitty way but I'm trying to atone and I still look back and feel guilty about it’ only an admirable, affirming thing to aspire to when it's a tumblr post & not when a guy is straight up saying it? Which he has, on multiple occasions. Can't change the past, can only try to learn from it.
At. Least. He. Fucking. Tries.
When has redneck george ever walked back his comments about gay ppl or his Islamophobia, when has Lesnar? Beyond a token apology and chasing it w/ a dozen I'M NOT A RACIST THO interviews when has Hogan really acknowledged the depths of how he fucked up? When did Warrior apologize for his vile bigotry, where's Elgin sincerely regretting being a fucking piece of shit dragging a rape victim's name through the mud? Jericho's response to ‘hey maybe you shouldn't be advertising your cruise by saying there will be loads of bikini-clad women there available for you to ogle’ was essentially ‘are you triggered, bro, y so srys?’ and at no point did he objections seriously. Orton never so much as thinks for two seconds before condemning BLM protesters or footballers who take the knee, AND he voted for Trump, but other than hollowly chanting that he's not a racist while blatantly doing things that are racist, silence. Honma beat his girlfriend, Snuka murdered his partner, Austin smacked Debra around, Angle got stoned out of his mind and broke into his ex's apartment, X-Pac hit Chyna, exactly how often do they refer back to what happened, when did they apologize or express regret or even acknowledge any of it? I mean I guess Benoit can't, what with the fucking suicide after he bashed in Nancy's skull and murdered his son.
Ppl have different things they can tolerate and forgive, is I guess my point, or at least one of them. Which is fine! I mean...I'd sure fucking side-eye anybody who writes any of the above a pass, but, I guess everybody's stories and reasons are different.
I like Tana. I'm a fan of his. Ok? Like it probably sounds like I think he's a flawless angel crowned with light b/c compared to my fucking father, he IS. It doesn't mean I'm being willfully blind to mistakes he's made or that I'm absolving him of every sin he's ever committed. I think he's a good person and it's heartening and encouraging that he's in the world and if saying so without adding 18 asterisks about past behaviour and an disclaimer acknowledging all men as shit and all people as inherently flawed makes me a gullible childish ~fangirl~ than ok, I guess I am. Everybody knows my tags for wrestling/wrestlers, which are there as much as a courtesy to anybody who needs to blacklist as they are a filing system for me (that’s why there’s a catch-all! For ppl I haven’t thought up tags for yet or don’t intend to!), and tumblr savior is right there if me being silly about my favs in my own space bothers everybody so fucking much, god knows it wouldn't be the first time I set somebody cringing and they had to tune me out before they quietly dropped my ass like a particularly stupid puppy on a country road. That I am a sloppy fawning emotional mess of untreated neurosis who hyperfixates on things & people who make me feel halfway hopeful for entire minutes at a time & gets stupidly overexcited about stuff isn't new information to me, so if you can't deal with that then...
Well...sorry, honestly. Like sincerely. I know how I am and I try not to be but I can't help it sometimes when I like something. Don't feel bad about leaving if you don't want to deal with it, cos I get it, honestly. Have exactly zero (0) guilt feelings about it. I’m a fundamentally repulsive creature, ppl have hard limits on how long they can put up with me, and so it has always been, and so it goes.
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another significant other survey
443
History
Where did you two first meet?
we technically met on Okcupid, but in person I guess it would be my house? he picked me up for our date.
When exactly did you two first meet?
in person, oct 3 2015
What was your first impression of them?
I thought he was super chill, funny and talkative and tall. I really liked him right away.
When did you start liking them?
when we first met in person I instantly liked him. He made me feel comfortable and safe and never felt awkward so that was a turn on. I wasnt instantly hooked on him when i met him through the app.
When did you two start going out?
May 10th 2016
How was with your first kiss with them like?
It was really nice. He asked if he could kiss me as we were watching youtube videos and i was nervous and it was really passionate but not overly horrible. It was awesome
Are they your first boyfriend/girlfriend? If not, then which?
no hes technically my 3rd real boyfriend
Are you their first boyfriend/girlfriend? If not, then which?
no and im not sure
About Them
How much older/younger are they compared to you?
he’s 6.5 years older than me
Hair colour?
Brown
Eye colour?
Brown
Build?
Medium Build
Astrological sign?
Taurus
Skin colour?
paleish
Race/ethnicity?
White
Nationality?
Turkish, Irish and German
Religion?
nothing
Glasses?
he wears contacts sometimes
Piercings?
Doesn’t have any
Tattoos?
He doesn’t have any
Chest hair?
he has some but not overly which is nice
Scars? Where?
on his stomach from a cat attack and also on his leg from an accident
Smart/not?
smart
Sarcastic/not?
too much sometimes
Humourous/not?
very
Possessive/not?
no he sometimes get a little jealous but he never acts on it. Im lucky that he isnt possessive
Patient/not?
he actually is
Affectionate/not?
He is when were alone. He doesnt like showing off or pda so i understand.
Protective/not?
yes
Clingy/not?
not really. he sometimes can be clingy
Expressive/not?
yah
Talkative/quiet?
both i guess. he sometimes talks my ear off sometimes he doesnt
Outgoing/shy?
shy
Party animal/Stay at home kind?
home body
Sporty/not?
he was
Artistic/not?
no
Practical or more of the dreamy type?
Practical
Their Skills
Can they cook or bake?
yes but he doesn’t bake
Can they repair/fix things?
Yeah he can
Can they dance?
i havent really seen him dance..lmaooo
Can they sing?
yes lol
Can they draw?
not rly..lmao
Can they play any instrument?
He used To
Can they write well?
if you mean by handwriting..its messy
Can they make you laugh?
yes
Can they make others laugh?
Yes
What is their talent if they have found it?
hmmm cooking
Are they good at science and math?
im not sure, i didnt go to school with him and i never really asked. I know he said math is bullshit lol
Things You Like About Them
What do you like about the things they say?
He always knows when to make me laugh but he also is honest which sometimes i dont like but he will tell me when he doesnt like something.
What do you like about the things they do?
He is always considerate of me. He protects me.
What do you like about the things they do FOR YOU?
I just recently got ajob but for the past 2 months i have been poor and he pays for my gas, he paid off my credit card and he also has helped me with that. He also always holds me when im upset, he will spend he night with me if he knows im upset.
What part of their face do you like the most?
alllll
What part of their body do you like the most?
arms
What part of their personality do you like the most?
He is funny affff
What do you most admire about them?
Theres so much to choose from.
What part of them attracts you the most?
everything tbh
Do you know what attracts them to you?
He likes that im smaller than him, he says that I do so much for him and that he loves that.
Random Quirks
Are they a pet lover?
yup
Animal lover?
yep
Are they environmental-friendly?
no
What are their views on political issues?
not liberal but not conservative
Are they racist?
no
Are they a vegetarian?
no
Do they drink?
no
Smoke?
no but weed he does
Curse?
Yes
Sleep around?
no he actually hasnt had that many partners which is nice. I dont judge but i dont like ppl who fck a lot of ppl
Abuse drugs?
no
Are they hairy?
not overly
Do they donate to beggars?
im not sure
Are they neat/messy?
In the middle
Their love life
Are they a romantic? Self-professed or closet?
He’s romantic, yes. I love that about him. He’s not a self-professed nor a closet romantic
Are they sentimental?
Sometimes
How did they woo you?
By being himself
Do they give you flowers?
No but I don’t like flowers
Do they lavish you with gifts?
Sometimes
Do they pay for your meals/tickets/etc?
Sometime but I like to pay for his too when I can!
Are they okay with confessing his love for you in public?
Yes but he doesn’t like pda that muchhhh
Do they express his love for you in words or actions?
Both
Things you don’t like about them (though you accept their faults)
Any habits of them that you dislike?
He sometimes games for a long time
Any part of their appearance that you dislike?
Nope
Any part of their character that you dislike?
He can be a little harsh
Your feelings for them
So..how long have you two been together?
4 years
Do you truly love them?
Yes
Do they truly love you?
Yes
Can you envision marrying them?
Yeah
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answer questions 1-70 (:
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? - I have a great relationship with my mom, my dad its kinda shaky but its sorta getting better
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? -my momma
03: Do you regret anything? - i dont really regret anything because i would be a different person than i am today and i sorta like myself for the most part
04: Are you insecure? - super insecureeeeee
05: What is your relationship status? -single
06: How do you want to die? -aware that the sleep i will take will be my last
07: What did you last eat? -sausage and fajitas
08: Played any sports? -i did gymnastics for a while
09: Do you bite your nails? -i dont bite them but i mess with them with my fingers and then they end up breaking :/
10: When was your last physical fight? -nah i dont do that anymore. that was years ago
11: Do you like someone? -oh si
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? -oh yeah, i have problems sleeping sometimes
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? - i don’t think i could ever hate anyone
14: Do you miss someone? -a little bit but its not because they’re out of my life
15: Have any pets? -no :(
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? -chunky and empty at the same time
17: Ever made out in the bathroom? -in my shower i have
18: Are you scared of spiders? -MAY THEY ALL DIE (not really, just always hidden and away from me because i also hateee mosquitoes) A VERY PAINFUL DEATH
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? -i don’t think so
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? -my car
21: What are your plans for this weekend?- work work workwork work work
22: Do you want to have kids? How many? -honestly im not too sure but if i do then just two
23: Do you have piercings? How many? -4 but i had 5
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? -best english and science, worst math
25: Do you miss anyone from your past? -i do
26: What are you craving right now? -pad thai
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? -i have
28: Have you ever been cheated on? -yeah, i don’t wish it on anyone. it was my first real boyfriend, i did and would do anything for him. i mean ANYTHING for him. and we started dating in high school, things were very toxic and one-sided and abusive and i didn’t realize it. he would talk to other girls, his exes too, and tell them he wanted to take them out on dates and whatever. i left for college, he was still in high school and i went to visit him for the weekend since it was his birthday weekend. i took him out to eat, bought him some stuff he had been wanting, just the works, and the day after i left to go back to campus he showed videos and pictures of me giving him head to a girl who was a mutual friend and then cheated on me with her. he bought nudes from numerous girls, linked up with exes on dates. just a lot more shit. that shit hurts. i don’t wish it on anybodddddyyyyyyy
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? -oh heck yeah, when i left.
30: What’s irritating you right now? -The Staircase
31: Does somebody love you? -my mom and family. romantically? no
32: What is your favourite color? - red
33: Do you have trust issues? -i have trust issues in the sense that i trust too easily
34: Who/what was your last dream about? -myself, i was pregnant and left alone
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? -my mom
36: Do you give out second chances too easily? -definitely :(
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? -to forgive. i can never forget.
38: Is this year the best year of your life? -i think so
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? -oh god i was in the 5th grade
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? -maybe once
51: Favourite food? -BBQ
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? -i highly believe that
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? -took my socks off which is crazy for me
54: Is cheating ever okay? -no. just leave. even if its to get even, just leave. the best revenge is no revenge.
55: Are you mean? -i don’t think so.
56: How many people have you fist fought? -2. i’m not counting family though because its fam
57: Do you believe in true love? - i do believe in true love. i’m a hopeless romantic.
58: Favourite weather? -fall weather or spring without wind
59: Do you like the snow? - i do but i never get to see it :(
60: Do you wanna get married? -i do (:
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? - i used to not think so, but yes call me bby please.
62: What makes you happy? -when ppl show that they thought about me in some random instance. doggies. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. flowers. funny jokes. good food. books. family. friends. pokemon. trees.
63: Would you change your name? -i kinda like it now
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? -definitely not
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? -i cant. i already know too much about him
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? -yes (:
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? -one of my cousins
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? -my bestfriend
69: Do you believe in soulmates? -yes!
70: Is there anyone you would die for? -my family and friends. honestly you know what. probably anyone. I put others before myself so much. if i had to pick between myself and someone else i will always say someone else because i feel like their life is more valuable and important than mine.
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im really tired of this drama for the sake of drama scenarios that keep coming up. like theyre completely avoidable but people choose really selfish and self centered ways of doing things and then dont even take into account the amount of people it affects.
our friend was late for fishing so he left without him but didnt bother to say anything about it and just left while our friend was in transit. i mean, theyre both pretty rude. hes rude for being late, hes rude for leaving without notice. but no one cares that at 5am, our friend showed up at my house and then slept in my bed for the next 5 hours before deciding to head over to his friends house for a bbq. no one cares how that inconvinienced my day. no one cares that i didnt want to do that, or have our friend over at 5am but i'm not that selfish. i'm not soo self centered that i would turn away our friend at 5am when he's upset. it's not the right thing to do, so of course i invited him in. but he had no desire to listen to any of my problems. i couldnt talk to him about any of my plans or desires.
the next day i asked our friend to come over so i could grab and he did but he had hit his car in a parking lot and wanted zip ties to secure something. i tried to help but he was downstairs and didnt want to get up and find zip ties for our friend. so our friend took it upon himself to go downstairs himself where he was promptly yelled at for bothering him.
today our friend called me five times from 8am and when i finally answered he just wanted to chat about how he wasnt mad anymore and wanted to be a limo driver and other such nonsense. i thought about how many times the calls interrupted my day, created anxiety for me, made me think i was being a shitty friend for not answering. even once i did answer he called back later when i was trying to sleep!
i sent a simple text to him saying our friend was no longer mad and wanted to be a limo driver now. this was more just commentary on something that happened in my day. at the end of the day i recieve a long message telling me how he doesnt need to be reminded of this annoyance and is trying to distance himself from other ppls bullshit and if im not getting in the middle of it then why am i saying anything.
i felt caught off guard - mostly because i didnt do anything. all i did was comment on something in my own day and now he was triggered to the point of attempting to take it out on me. i told him it was a joke and meant to be a joke and i had no idea he was still annoyed and that he should speak up so i dont invite people to his house because i dont care whether or not hes friends with anyone, quite frankly. but dont trap me into scenarios which cause drama and upheaval because i made a single comment about someone and you failed to mention that you dont even like this person.
then he replies that its "his fault" and he just doesnt want to deal with it because it "already ruined fishing, it ruined his afternoon and now its ruining his dinner". i simply replied, "cool, same here". because he never takes into account how much something may be "ruined" by his behavior and attitude. what about me? what about the fact that i asked to stop "dealing with our friend's bullshit" in february when he made inappropriate remarks to me? or the fact he was willing to give drugs to him - on several occasions - despite knowing that im really not down with it at all? but we've continued, for four more months, until the breaking point became him being late for fishing.
please.
this has continually ruined my general life experience for the past year. the two main people in my life are two of the shittiest people to be considered "main" people in my life. a schizoid drug dealer whom i met through a girl i can no longer even consider a friend because she is equally as crazy and a guy who is best known for being the catalyst of his best friend committing suicide because he fucked his best friends girlfriend. this is a terrible landscape of my life right now and literally all i can do is continually displace myself from THEIR bullshit because the amount of inconvinience they place on to my life far outweighs whatever inconvinience they feel from each other or from me.
the thing is though - i dont "trust" my gut fully. i'm actualy more inclined not to trust my gut but my gut is continually right about a logical outlook on someone or their behavior and what that could define in their morality and ways of thinking and acting towards people. my gut told me my first boyfriend was kind of an asshole and that we didnt truly have much in common and that i was filling a role he wanted me to. i knew this, but i continued for many years. my gut told me my abusive ex was an absolute piece of shit but i stayed with him out of pure desperation because i honestly thought it would be better than this and honestly it is not.
my gut tells me my current relationship is a real relationship but neither of us are capable of having a real relationship based on our own personal issues and demons and lack of emotional maturity. it's like equal contributions to why it doesnt work at a level we both want it to. we both want to have a mature adult relationship. we both understand to a degree how mature adult relationships work. we are not in any capacity mature adults. we are overgrown teenagers struggling with basic life skills, possibly on a level that is even more of a struggle than our average peer, trying to pretend that we are in fact adults and capable of managing a relationship.
we are not though. ive been in long term relationships and understand that bringing up things like "its my fault" or "your right/wrong" doesnt actually add anything to the relationship. admitting it's "your fault" doesn't do much; putting into action - "i'm sorry i misinterpretated what you were saying but im definitely not into hanging out with him any time soon" is far better. but its not up to me to "police" how he should speak. it's up to him to decide that this method of communication is a lot more fair for both parties. it allows him the freedom to express what he wants and thinks while respecting that i'm someone with my own brain and individuality.
but thats not where we're at. you cant force maturity. you accept this persons level of maturity or you find someone who has passed that level or possibly wait it out? but waiting it out is a fucking gamble and that's the gamble i've decided to take. you know, i'm not entirely prepared for an adult relationship where i literally contribute equally to the relationship as a whole. i'm not ready for that in myself as a person. as an individual, my life would not benefit from a relationship with a partner giving to me equal to what i give - we would both starve and live on the streets and drive each other bat shit crazy and smoke endless amounts of weed. that's a really terrible life. but at the same time an equal partner to him would be someone unstable, someone who plays with monogamy, someone unwilling to pay into the relationship and carrying burdens of past lovers. someone who has a short temper and bad attitude, who is outspoken on their hatred of the world and people around them and brutally honest regarding split second thoughts and emotions they have towards those people.
he wouldnt put up with it. honestly.
so neither of us are ready to ask for much in a partner because we are not giving much in return. either of us. and thats a hard thing to accept and like.. i think even my doctor might have an askewed opinion on this because he wants to see me as a victim; maybe ive portrayed myself as such but we are not looking at the other side of things. who is this person and why are they in my life? why do they remain to be a significant person in my life by their own volition? they choose this. something in them wants to see me succeed and be healthy and do well and feel loved and cared for.
that does not mean they are _responsible_ for my success, healthy or wellbeing. they are semi-responsible for giving love and care because of the definitions of the relationship they created but theyre not responsible for MAKING me FEEL loved and cared for. i have to accept the knowledge that they love me.
so yes - why is he not "helping me"? thats what it comes down to. why am i not receiving some kind of "help" from him? but why is he responsible in giving this help? why are the parameters of an assumed healthy relationship by other people who may or may not even be in healthy relationships being put on something private and considerably always one sided as no one accept our mutual friend has seen our relationship grow?
it's almost antiquated, but not naive or dumb, to think because hes a man, because he makes money, because he fucks me and loves me, that he should support me. that he should give me a place to live. give me money. offer it to me. why? where the fuck does it say that anywhere? that's not the stipulation upon fucking someone and that's actually a hard thing for people to swallow i think. maybe its a really ultra feminist idea -- just because a man fucks you doesnt mean he owes you anything other than like.. respect of consent. he doesnt even really owe you a ride home. honestly. he doesnt even owe you a drink or dinner. you made an adult decision to give yourself up to this man and he doesnt owe you shit in return.
of course, it goes both ways. he buys her a drink - she doesnt owe him anything either. no one owes anyone anything. it's all a matter of your own free will and choice in how you will behave. what kind of person is fucking anyone because they bought them a drink anyways? but thats simplifying - over exaggerating, even. its the guy that asks a girl on a date and spends 150$ on dinner and buys an expensive bottle of wine and takes her to a concert he bought the tickets for; but he doesnt get laid. its now frowned upon - like he struck out on it. like she owed him her body because he decided to spend all this money.
but just because youre in a "relationship" -- which is self defined to begin with. like the basic of it is two people who are close and know a lot about each other and spend time with each other and are possibly intimate. thats it. thats all the fuck there is. they owe you nothing in the past present or future. its just two fuckig people spending time together. thats it. how they choose to spend that time is totally up to them and whatever makes them as a couple and as individuals happy. and when you cant find that balance you no longer spend time together and thus no longer have a relationship.
i also though, have to break out of this old mind set i've had for years that is a really ignorant mind set brought on by upper middle class people degrading me and my upbringing. but it happened for so long and so often that it's hard not to now believe it and default to this line of thinking. i feel like i've been reprogramming my brain. and i have to or else i remain in limbo - i have anxiety about life and then i feel bad about not working and then i have anxiety about not working and cant work because it's all just a cycle and i've just been made to feel like such a piece of shit, such a subhuman because this is the path ive "chosen". but in a multiple choice scenario where your choices are given to you and you have to select one, your level of free will has been diminished. and thats the scenario you live in when you are in poverty. but i'm too sick to get out of poverty.
i feel stupid in some ways for believing this doctor will help me get on disability and receive more money. but i just want to live. i just want to live and be able to survive without this constant anxiety and worry about how to eat let alone how to deal with issues i've been struggling with since my teenage years. so i'm really hopeful, on the inside, because it would be jynxing it to be hopeful on the outside. but i'm tryng to go with it. i'm trying ot believe that he's right and right now i am making myself sick, i am perpetuating the cycle by not trying all these avenues of help.
instead of worrying about not working or having money, i'm just trying to be. i'm just trying to know that i am sick and it's not "my fault" and i'm not "a burden". it's "okay" that i'm not working right now. i wouldnt be capable of it if i tried. and those failures because i am sick and unable to succeed just add to the issue. so i am tryng to focus on what works for me. because i am doing "the right thing". i'm doing the few things i can do, what i'm supposed to do - it's atleast given me some results.
i have a few projects on the go and one remains to be the most successful thing ive done in the past year of my life and the success i've gotten from it has been something i have consistently worked hard for and has given me a reason to perservere in some very dark moments. i dont think people realize that though. they just see it as this thing i like to do but i see it as one of the very few reasons to wake up and do something. i feel responsible to people i have build a decent relationship with even though i have discovered that everyone is a human being and all have flaws which make them difficult to work with at times. maybe a majority of the time, even, but this is how i created something that has a purpose to me. something that goes beyond financial gain and politics and drugs and death -- something that is just good. it's just nice and good. it's not poisoned - though it has been threatened to be. and it has taught me so many good lessons in life and business. its one of the best things i have done.
i want to continue my belief in that and myself. i lost that in the past six months. i lost the confidence that i knew what i was doing but i was allowing other people to do shitty things, to take control, to take advantage when they didn't care. and it was okay they didnt care. but i cared. and now that ive shown that i cared i am receiving more positive feedback and gaining more respect including from people who did not really enjoy me before as a person.
i believe the best steps i can take right now is to focus first and foremost on my health and mental well being; which is accepting that my mental health directly affects my physical health and thus i am not a bad person for being tired and feeling sick even if i'm physically active and eating healthy. secondly is to secure a foundation in which i can build a stable independent life on regardless of how that is secured - even if it is not viewed as positive in popular opinion, like disability. it doesnt matter because independent means seperate from other people so other peoples opinions dont actually matter in this scenario. even if that means losing close relationships - such as the one with him. if i have true belief that this is what is best for me and i am literally putting it into the action when i want nothing more but to die on a regular basis then it is worth losing a relationship for if it means i'm going to live until next year. if it means i have a personal reason to live until next year.
third is to allow myself to follow my ideas through and promote a healthy work ethic in myself that will build towards better socializing and potential revenue streams. it does not matter right now that its not making money. i am not bill gates over here. i'm not trying to reinvent the wheel. i'm just trying to do me. it's not about how this "directly affects my life" because i "dont have money". i am not capable of earning money through normal ways and cleaning apartments is not sustainable or worthy of investing my time in when it doesnt benefit me in any way but a brief 50$ spent on weed to nurture myself from the experience. quick-cash scenarios are feeding the cycle, even if it seems beneficial short term. some of my ideas are artistic, some are more administrative with real potential to make money without relying on 20$ jewelry sales. i really want to elevate what i'm doing in all areas of my life because that level of attention to detail is what makes me feel good about myself. looking at what ive created and seeing it as aesthetically pleasing and professionally sound to my eye and recieving positive feedback for it makes me feel good about myself. and i deserve to feel good about myself and i'm not self absorbed; the things i do are very charitable and serve my community and peers as well as allow me to explore my thoughts and ideas creatively.
it is very easy to feed into the very quick dim witted insults that i get about this though. "sure, i wish IIII could just sit at home and play on the computer getting diability but i have to work" -- at first response, we've both forgotten why i'm even sitting at home to begin with; why it's hard for me, why i would be getting disability. all that's seen is someone "sitting at home". they do not see the sickness. they do not experience the life i've lived. i've been contnually slashed at by almost everyone i've ever known and just gotten up like "okay, it's cool, i got this" and acted like everything was fine but i'm bleeding out and have been bleeding out for a long time. you just cannot fix this overnight. and it's only now even as i write this that i realize i havent even focused on myself like this in years. literally years. i've actually felt very surreal lately because this shift in focus like i dont know anything of whats happening becuse i dont know myself and this is new to me. i feel disconnected.
but ive spent a long time analyzing other people. and their actions towards me. and how ive felt about their actions towards me. and how their actions affected my life afterwards. very rarely have i ever analyzed just myself. my own actions, my own desires, my own beliefs which have little to no influence from outside sources. my combining life experiences to form the opinions which make up who i am; not who i'm told i am by my parents or my boyfriend. just me.
and for a very long time i would say or think that whatever i thought about things, whatever my opinions or beliefs were, they werent that important. they werent as important as what everyone else thought because i wanted to be seen as a good person because good people experience a positive life. i want to have a positive life. i didnt want to be around drugs or drunks or stupid people. i wanted to join groups and do good things and be altruistic. i wanted and maybe still want to in some ways, serve people. because everyone else is more important than i am.
its taken me a very long time - like a stubbornly long time that is actually exactly how long it would take me because thats exactly who the fuck i am - to admit that not all people are good. like even if 50% were good, even if 70% were good, there are billions of people on this planet so 30% would still be a fucking shit load of people that more than likely are walking past you on the street. they gotta live somewhere. you cant pretend like absolutely none of the bad people that clearly exist in the world dont exist around you. and unfortunately, and i'm still really stubborn on this, i think the number is higher in terms of bad people. i see a lot of bad people on a regular basis. not even associated with me. just out in the world, people doing shitty things to other people. so i think i could almost safely say atleast half of the worlds population are probably assholes.
so to live in the belief that you are not important perpetuates a serious amount of trauma and abuse by the sheer number of assholes who exist on this planet. you actually need to be much better prepared in order to really sift through who is an asshole and who is not an asshole. if you think you're a piece of shit then no one is an asshole because whatever anyone does, they're better than you anyways so how could it be "bad". how can you "complain". it's not downgrading the trauma thats experienced - for example, my abusive ex, but knowing i wasnt important allowed me to stay in the relationship. i perpetuated the abuse by staying and accepting i wasnt important. when i left, it stopped.
and even if i think i'm not important, at 27 years in, i really also don't like trauma and abuse. i do not like those feelings even if feeling important is not "important". but in order to stop trauma and abuse, the number one thing that must change is not feeling or believing me or my thoughts or emotions are important. what i regularly would deem as selfish is self-sufficient. it's survival. my stubbornness in believing the world is good is causing me serious harm. people are not all good, they do not all have good hearts but it's okay because some are good. all of them are human beings with flaws, but some are good human beings with flaws.
so the fourth most important thing right now is breaking and creating connections with the "right" people. i am tired of drug users. i have been tired of drug users since i was sixteen and i am still tired of them now. i have never known a good drug user. i have never wanted to remain friends with one. i have never become a regular drug user. i am constantly embarassed and ashamed of the times i spent on drugs. it's okay to be alone if it means not spending time with people you're not going to do anything with anyways and you don't feel a good connection with. i want to be heard. right now, i'm not being heard. i believe thats a serious flaw in my closest relationship but i believe the voices in his head are screaming so loud, even when he's trying to listen, he can't hear anything past his own bullshit. it's not for lack of trying. i would love for him to be finished being friends with our mutual friend. ive not wanted to be friends for sometime but he didnt particularly care. even though i respect the time ive had with our mutual friend and the help hes given me and the time hes spent with me when ive been feeling down - he has never been helpful. he has also only ever fed me weed and even harder drugs when i have been particularly down. he has hindered my recovery many times and triggered issues. the only reason he is in my life is so i can buy weed easily. and that in itself might be causing an issue in my life.
the other week he handed me this book, "i'm okay - you're okay". he told me it was basically what i try to say to him; not the contents, just the title. and i guess that sums it up -- what i'm doing is "okay" and what he is doing is "okay". it hurts, yeah. because i'm a human being with flaws and emotions and my own issues and other people - many other people, not just him - will trigger these issues. a lady at the hospital coldly said, "to me, it might be nothing, to you, it might be everything". but it's true -- this might be nothing to someone else. ive occassionally thought successful marriages have docile women who have accepted that men can be ignorant and aggressive people by nature. everyone seems to have a story of an overzealous over the top angry man - even if they were just angry and no one was harmed. but to me, it's everything. to me, it triggers immediate fear and a response of crying and wanting to run away beause something bad is going to happen. it's not just being yelled at - something bad will happen. when he screamed at me on the weekend, things shifted. i could feel a level of embarassment; it wasn't like he was really trying to prove something. he knew it was a disgusting display, immature and extremely unhelpful for my particular situation. he wanted to quickly sweep it aside - just as he did again today when he realized i wasnt actually trying to start "something".
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The Expendables: The Social Media Debate Surrounding the Missing D.C. Girls
By Brian Richards | News Stories | March 28, 2017 |
Back in 2009, I went to visit my cousins in the faraway land of Toronto, Ontario, Canada (home of Drake, Scott Pilgrim, and that show 1 Girl, 5 Gays that used to air on LOGO) in order to attend a wedding over the weekend. As I was talking to and hanging out with my youngest cousin, who I’ll just call K (and no, she’s not a member of the Men In Black), the topic of Chris Brown and Rihanna came up, which made sense considering that the incident in which Rihanna’s physical assault at the hands of Brown had recently happened. In short, K was a lot more forgiving of Chris Brown because of him being so good-looking, and able to sing well, and because he could dance. Which made me roll my eyes so hard that I had to ask K to fetch me a crowbar so I could pry them loose from my forehead. I responded that all of that didn’t matter because he attacked his girlfriend and expressed little to no remorse for it. I then asked her if she would be so forgiving of what Chris Brown had done if he was just a regular dude who worked as a teller down at ScotiaBank (for American readers who have never crossed the border and immediately went “Huh?!,” ScotiaBank is basically Canada’s version of Chase Bank) and wasn’t famous. And of course, K didn’t really have an answer to that and blew it off. (When I saw K again a couple of years later and the topic of Chris Brown came up, she pretty much indicated that she was no longer a fan or supporter of his. I don’t remember what else was said after that, but it probably had something to do with my surprise and amazement over the fact that milk in Canada is sold in bags. Or something.)
I say all of that because I’m once again reminded of how so many others, whether they’re part of the legal system or not, were and are willing to give a free pass to men who commit heinous acts just because they have a talent or skill that makes audiences go “Oooh!” and “Ahhh!” And also that the lives of women mean little to nothing to far too many of the men who reside on this planet. The most recent example of this being Brazilian football player Bruno Fernandes de Souza, who was offered a two-year contract to play for the Brazilian football organization Boa Esporte. Despite the fact that he was just released from jail on a technicality after only serving nearly four years of a twenty-two-year sentence for, along with his wife and several of his friends, murdering Eliza Samudio, his former girlfriend, and then dismembering her and feeding her remains to his pet Rottweilers in order to dispose of the evidence. His reason for doing this? Samudio had been demanding child support payments for their four-month-old son.
You would think that all of this would make a football organization, any football organization show disgust and anger toward de Souza and refuse to touch him with a 39 1/2-foot pole. But then again, we have our own football organization in this country that will welcome a player with open arms after he beats the living daylights out of his wife or girlfriend (unless it’s caught on camera and makes that organization look bad, and then they fire that player), and then turn around and refuse to piss on another player if he were on fire for having the audacity to speak out against police abuse and misconduct. So yeah, it didn’t take long for de Souza to be offered a two-year contract upon his release, despite numerous protestations from those who wondered how they’d feel if it were their daughters or their mothers who suffered the same fate as Samudio. Boa Esporte’s response to that, as is usually the response from men who don’t give anything resembling a shit about the overall well-being of women, regardless of who they are:
Fans and sponsors of the Brazilian second-division side quickly denounced the move but so far Boa Esporte isn’t backing down. In a lengthy post on its Facebook page, Boa Esporte’s president, Rone Moraes da Costa, says the team isn’t committing any crimes by signing the 32-year-old who formerly played for one of Brazil’s most famous clubs — Flamengo — and was tipped to line up for the national team at the 2014 World Cup on home soil. He could be back in action within a month and a half.
“Esporte Clube was not responsible for the release and freedom of the athlete Bruno,” da Costa said, adding that the club was “giving work to those who intend to recover.”
Bruno “deserves a new opportunity as a professional,” the team said in a separate post. “The club has no relation with Bruno’s personal actions, nor with his past, having hired only the professional.”
And on to much happier and life-affirming news…This past month, many people on Twitter pointed out the increasing number of disappearances involving young Black and Latinx girls in the Washington, D.C. area and how there seemed to be nothing being done about it, along with the fact that such a large number of disappearances and possible kidnappings were receiving little to no news media coverage. (For a list of names and photos of many of the young girls who have been missing, read here.) Especially compared to the news media coverage being given to the all-important, time-consuming case of Tom Brady’s jersey going missing and having to be tracked down and retrieved outside of the United States. Yes, you did read that correctly.
#NewProfilePic pic.twitter.com/XZX9jxour6
— Questlove Gomez (@questlove) March 25, 2017
lol y'all still trying to find a white woman from 19 years ago but no postings about the 30+ young girls missing in DC AMERICA IS A JOKE https://t.co/kLQ8VXW2F2
— shia laCunt (@fuzzycuntkins) March 24, 2017
it's not always as blatant as someone getting snatched & thrown in a van. They're luring ppl in. Talk to your siblings. pic.twitter.com/5qrrMhAANs
— #PineappleExpress (@tbrownmedia) March 24, 2017
ðOne child missing is too many. Whether it's a stolen child or one running away from unsafe homes, they deserve help.#BRINGBACKOURGIRLSDC pic.twitter.com/IeW0xQpqzx
— Simone Missick (@SimoneMissick) March 24, 2017
The thought of so many young Black and Latinx girls going missing and possibly being led to unspeakable fates resulted in many a heated debate and conversation on Twitter…
There were those who found it downright hypocritical for Black and Latinx people to spend so many months criticizing police officers for their abuse and misconduct towards them, and then expect them to go out and find their kids. (Yes, it was from a real tweet and unless it was actually a troll/White supremacist using the Twitter avi of a Black person to conceal their identity, yes..it was a Black woman who actually said that.)
There were those who called that person out on her bullshit, and pretty much reminded her that 1) you pretty much have to be a fucking idiot to find something wrong in police officers having to be told to stop abusing and murdering Black people and 2) finding children and adults who have gone missing and are possibly being held in captivity is part of what police officers are paid and trained and expected to do.
There were those who saw this as another reason to call out White feminists on their supposed bullshit, considering that many of them just came from participating in the Women’s March on Washington and coming together in solidarity to stand up and speak out against those who do and would treat them as if they aren’t deserving of anything resembling respect. To let everyone know that their lives and their voices matter.
And yet…
If you went to the #womensmarch, are you planning a return trip to draw attention to the missing Black & Latinx girls or nah? pic.twitter.com/xjNce6x1JE
— Nyasha Junior (@NyashaJunior) March 24, 2017
Photos from the D.C. town hall meeting about DC's missing girls this morning. A room full of African-Americans but #AllLivesMatter right? pic.twitter.com/OjHWGQTyTd
— DC Maryland Virginia (@DMVFollowers) March 23, 2017
White feminism shook DC's foundations wearing pink hats.
But they sure are quiet as Black women disappear from the same city.
— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017
White people feel nothing but a sense of relief when Black people disappear, so long as it doesn't affect them financially.
— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017
If white feminists raised a fuss on Black women disappearing in Washington DC…
I don't even know what would happen. It's never happened.
— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017
Meanwhile, Black women have have been the strongest supporters ALL women's rights.
They've fought tooth and nail, whip and lash for it.
— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017
Black women won't leave ANYONE behind.
When they rise, they drag everything up with them.
And yet get left behind like no one else.
— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017
And then there was this statement from the police in Washington, D.C. stating that many of the girls who have disappeared haven’t done so because of kidnapping and sex trafficking, they’ve disappeared because they’re runaways. Don’t bother asking how or why that’s supposed to be even more comforting or how this doesn’t come off at all like victim-blaming, but there it is.
The Washington D.C. girls who have gone missing are not crime victims … they’ve just fled their homes, according to Washington D.C. officials.
There’s been a call for an investigation into the disappearances, but a police spokesperson says the numbers are not alarming … they’re in line with missing persons stats.
There are currently 38 open cases of missing persons in D.C. We did some checking … 12 disappeared in the last 5 months. Nine of the girls are 18 or under. Ten are black and 2 Hispanic.
A police spokesperson says they believe all are runaways based on the circumstances of their disappearance, however, they say they cannot be certain.
The police and Mayor’s office tell TMZ, they handle thousands of missing persons cases every year, and virtually everyone is located.
We spoke with police Chief Peter Newsham who says with almost every case, those missing have a history of leaving home. He says the number missing is similar to years before, it’s just been brought to the light with the use of social media and other platforms to help locate missing people.
Newsham says his department’s goal is to get to the root of the problem to determine just what causes these kids to leave their homes.
There is so much more that needs to be said and discussed when it comes to this, but it’s obviously not about to be done in just this one post alone. Whether the attention that social media has brought to these young girls from Washington D.C. who keep disappearing will result in something being done to stop this and find out who or what is responsible are questions that have yet to be answered. All we can do is continue to hope and demand that young girls and women are given fewer reasons to worry about their overall well-being (especially in the D.C. area), all because everyone else around them sees how much they are continuously made to suffer and their only response continues to be:
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found this on twitter and wanted (try) to answer them here instead. :B Great questions! thanks. @LM_Nocass
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𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥/𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥/𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲);
2:28 PM · Aug 10, 2020 --------------@LM_Nocass
1. Which part of herself does Carol see in Daryl? ||um same brokenness past and seeing that there’s good parts in him. He’s not like Merle and Ed.
2. Which part of himself does Daryl see in Carol? ||They both know what it’s like to be abused and have an understanding. He sees strength in her. /...I think they slowly start to think they’re not alone on feeling like the odd one out or fighting to live before Apoc. They eventually think they’re a lot alike and connected right away. s1-s2. I guess they both started to grow at the same time and look after each other’s back ever since.
3. If there was no za and they met each other, would they be so close? Why? ||Yeah I think so. But not so close or “early” on. Probably lil glimpse of like oh they’re alike and good people. But other things in the way...like Carol or Daryl be stuck in bad situations and die or something. Y’kno Daryl would’ve been like “mini Merle” or like.... dead from stopping a fight or prison. Carol could just be dead or lost herself from being with Ed. ...Unless they got away from their abusers :)
4. How do you think, Alexandria's ppl ship them or they don’t care? Why? ||
BTW, I think of what the writers want or had in mind.. Anyway, when Rlchonne happened or Abe and Sasha went canon, it just seems like very neutral whatever way. Well I guess the show isn’t that .. charactery and romantic. -_- Anyway, I think they care and are supportive and of all Team family but mind their business. I think practically everyone knows about Caryl and their close relationship. I guess they’re like in the same boat as us or general fans. We would be happy if they get together but if not then like ....hmm you guys are so together~ Um..I guess people would be going WTF if Caryl grew apart.
5. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to believe in supernatural stuff? Why? ||hmm they both seem to be into that. erm I’ll say Daryl.
6. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to send a lot of Red heartFace throwing a kissSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes and etc? Why? || Carol is more open to display of affection. But Daryl got hearts on his sleeves. He’s straightforward tells/show you how he feels and means it.
13. What would do today's Carol if she met someone like Ed? ||Probably be able to stand up to him when he starts to be controlling and she speak out and say it’s not right. Idk..maybe them talking it out will make Ed change himself if he wants to.
14. If today's Carol met past Carol, what would she say to her? ||You’re stronger than you think you are. You are enough. These hard times made her wiser in Apoc./life. She’s always a mother..when they’re gone, they’re still with her.
15. If today's Daryl met past Daryl, what would he say to him? ||This doesn’t always have to be this way/Merle-life. You’re not alone. Good people will stick with you. Trust them. Your goodness matters. You don’t need to depend on Merle. If Merle wouldn’t change now then he won’t later on. Idk... Daryl is so loyal and to his brother. So it’s just he gotta let Merle/his past go.
16. Why does Daryl prefer the crossbow, not a bow? ||I guess that’s what hunters like to use most often. Idk.
17. AU: real life. Which one of them is most likely to surfing in the Internet for hours? Why? ||Carol because she mentioned internet in s4. lol Okay um yeah Carol I guess. I think she likes to research on things. Daryl is more outdoorsy kind of person.
18. AU: real life. Which one of them will have a private acc on social medias and who won’t care? ||I think both would be private...or heck Daryl not private but barely any content. lol Just hunting, nature stuff and games.
19. AU: real life. Which one of them will send memes? ||Carol because she like goofy or sassy jokes.
20. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Carol? Why? ||hmm housewife, teacher, nurse, or something to look after the community.. She likes to cook but Idk if she likes to do it often. Some job to care about the people and place.
21. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Daryl? Why? ||A hunter, mechanic, or construction worker. Something like hands-on job.
22. Which of them has a black sense of humor? ||I think Carol have a dark/black sense of humor. Daryl is ..more less humor-y. more sarcastic. idk what im saying.
23. Had Daryl ever thought about having children? If he did, he would prefer boy or daughter? ||I think he never really thought of it till he’s away from Merle/past life. But Idk I think he doesn’t really think on it. He just wants to protect all kids. He’s Uncle Daryl. I don’t think he has preference.
24. Is Daryl asexual or demisexual? Or other? Why? ||Read ? #10. I say so far it seems like he’s demisexual from what Kang said and from what people/fandom been always questioning him from the show and from that 6 years in woods plot. (Also the show isn’t that showy on romance and relationships so I didn’t think they would bother to address his romance/sexuality but they did so ok.) I guess I always think of him as demisexual...or someone who would be friends to lovers kind of person. He’s the closest with Carol so..slowburn to canon, yeah? /// This makes me think of Carol’s relationships and how she is fine having sex anytime ..no emotions involved way...She doesn’t really have or know a good emotional canon relationship except almost with Zeke, I guess.
25. Carol’s fav movie genre(s)? ||Romcoms <3
26. Daryl’s fav movie genre(s)? ||action / horror :O
27. When the show ends, what kind of ending do you want for them? ||I want good writing and that flows right. Caryl be Caryl. I guess them riding off to the sunset to New Mexico. Or..looking after team family in ASZ or TF working together to find/help Rick and living their best lives in a community. A happy ending pls.
28. Which one of them is good at math? ||hmm Carol. Daryl would be good at reading..science.
29. If there was Caryl movie, what song(s) would you add to it? || hmm a song to add, I would pick ..”You and Me” by Pink I think. Or, X and Y by Coldplay. Or, Cosmic Love by Florence Machine.
30. Did Daryl help you? ||I really appreciate the writers and the acting did with Daryl and Carol. They’re really unique, interesting and relatable characters. Daryl helped me to keep being myself and do what’s right even when you feel odd ball out. Idk I also like that we see characters like Daryl and Carol what we stereotypical think they may be like in s1 but then we see they’re relatable and we can be more open minded to other people. I liked that we see him getting a chance to grow and see how loyal he is.
31. Did Carol help you? ||Yeah. I really like how she’s like I guess most people in s1, quiet, timid, not quite fit into the Apoc. world, but learns to trust herself, get braver and open up. She’s like so strong and brave now but it’s not surprising to see that in a way because we see her character development and I like how writers and acting, made it so relatable and realistic to me. We all can be like Carol. //I think she’s a great character to watch for mothers who lost kids or was a abused wife. Same with Daryl as a abused child/brother in that Merle’s lifestyle.
32. What did Caryl give you? Hope? Strength? ||I really like what became Caryl in the show for years. They became one of my fave ships. They’re unique and I love that we see their strong bond and connection. They’re soulmatey and angsty. Idk I feel like they gave hope that there are people that will get you and have your back. And strength, they grown so much and made me think about myself to keep facing my fears and be in a healthy relationship.
33. Carol’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country pop. Idk.. I think McReedus are into Rock music so.
34. Daryl’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country rock. ...Idk Metal music.
35. Describe Carol in one word. ||Brave
36. Describe Daryl in one word. ||Loyal or uh a word that means does what he think is the right thing to do...and caring. Uncle.
37. What do you expect from them in season 11? ||Idk I’m really clueless. TWD right now is really not by the comics anymore and it’s hard to speculate now. I’m kinda hoping they have something a plot that relates to taking care of the Grimes kids and a plot/s that relates to Rick’s journey/TWD show. Idk well I guess they be figuring it out what to do with Maggie and politics with the ..spoiler- new communities.
I hope for good writing and if they go canon, I hope they write good relationship/romance writing. As in they don’t separate them and break up a bunch of times or be boring. eek. I hope it’s like they still be like the subtle canon ship..like RIchonne as there is something else they have to do together. Like they be canon but they talk about the new plots/problems/family in s11 and their relationship grows.
38. Your favorite Caryl season(s)? Why? ||It’s season 2 or s10. I feel it’s the most Caryl interaction and them deepening their relationship.
39. When do you think Daryl was ready to start a relationship? Or do you still think he isn't ready? Or he is ready rn? ||Whenever the writers are ready. :\ I think as a character he’s ready...yeah especially s10. He’s not hiding and being emo in the woods in s9. He’s not the (Rick’s)sidekick character anymore. He’s I think grown a lot by being with people and opening up being a leader-like now, domestic?,leading character, and I think he’s now more ready to have romantic relationship if he wants to. And for Carol ..rn is like does she feel worthy or ok to have love again. ooh angst.
40. Which of them is owl, and which of them is lark? Why? || I think Daryl is a lark/early bird because he likes the quietness and time to hunt, and Carol is a night owl because she likes to know what else is going on when it’s the dark.
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