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#but not shit zoos
lycanthology · 2 months ago
ive never actually been chased by an animal before which is rather surprising since i have had every opportunity to be. like ive chased hoards of wild geese out of my yard dozens of times and its never once backfired
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chillbihhhhhhh · 17 hours ago
people really think me and my man are one of those "couples" that go out on picnic dates in the woods while having bite sized sandwiches and drinking hot tea together. the couple that would wear matching pairs together while drinking boba green tea and taking selfies in the background. (not that there's anything that's wrong with THAT because every couple is different and has their own opinions and ideas) but bitch,,,,,
i want to challenge my man in a video game tournament and be in one of the highest ranks
i want to bring out that wild side of him
i want to have the most fun when i am with him
i want to play wrestle with him when we are out at the beach or a pool
i want to shoot and kill enemies in a video game while their blood is splashing like crazy on the screen and my man's watching me smile at the thought of it
i want to turn off all of the lights in the house and watch horror movies with my man where people insanely kill each other
i want to go to concerts and listen to the songs they play while we're hugging
i want that wild shit, that wild aggressive shit
i want to get drunk with him soooOoo drunk with him that i'd even fall in love more and more
get high with him while we're making out so aggressively and grabbing unto to each other
i'll whisper dirty secrets into his ear while we're alone and he'll smack my fat ass and kiss me
we'll buy each other matching chokers
but then at the same time, we can also take long walks at night in the park while holding hands. we can go out on fun movie dates and afterwards, have a nice dinner together. go to the zoo, the aquarium together and take cool photos everywhere, anywhere. go on a hike, or just hang out at his usual place and cook while watching anime together ohhhhhh yes 🥺
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emblazedwinter · 22 hours ago
My neurodivergent brain has recently moved the long-time favorite topic of Batman and his army of children back to the top spot for what special interest I feel like indulging in, and I have some headcanons!!! This might have done spoilers but I’m gonna try to avoid anything major.
I’m not going into any of the attempted murders or stuff like that because we’re all aware the bats mostly have shit mental health, and that’s not what this is about (I’ll probably post something like that later).
I have a bunch of headcanons, but this post is just gonna focus on one category. Let’s talk about the possible siblings dynamics cause I’m a bitch for found family tropes!
First up is Tim and Damian Wayne. Can you imagine if they got along?
Both of them are unique chaotic on their own. Damian was raised by assassins, has is army of animals and his love for them mixed with his more... violent approach to problem solving. Tim found out the identity of Batman when he was nine years old, became CEO of a company at 17, and at this point is most likely fueled with caffeine and depression ‘cause he definitely isn’t getting energy from sleeping.
I imagine something happening that frustrates/upsets Damian and Tim just fucking... solves it and informs Damian with the same tone you’d use when telling someone what the fucking weather forecast is. If the problem can’t be fixed he’d take him to the petting zoo or something to help take his mind off things.
In return, if Tim mentions someone is bothering him Damian will either offer to or say he’s going to stab the person. Someone saying something negative about Tim and Damian overhears? You better run because Damian’s got his fucking sword and his animals are running right along side him.
Both of them actually working together to fight villains or simply mess with their other siblings? Downright terrifying.
Next we have Tim and Jason (I really like Tim). They’ve had some good moments in the comics, but this dynamic also has potential for absolute chaos.
Once again, we have Tim, the sleep deprived genius. Then there’s Jason, legally dead, technically a zombie, actually a comedic badass.
I like the idea of these two bonding over how they became Robin. Jason failing at stealing the tires of the batmobile, Tim literally blackmailed Bruce to convince the man to train him.
Jason being unexpectedly protective of Tim in true Jason Todd fashion (ie, probably threatens to steal Tim’s coffee, drug his coffee, or get Alfred if he doesn’t get some fucking SLEEP–!)
Tim randomly crashing Jason’s safe houses to drag him over to the manor for family dinner or some charity gala because “if I’m being forced to socialize so are you!”
The batkids switching to a different language randomly in the middle of a conversation just because.
Dick and Jason making up "traditions" just to fuck with their younger siblings.
Duke casually announcing things the other batkids did or are about to do.
Prank wars!!!
Think about all the possibilities!
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tfdelevingne · a day ago
Candlelight, fluffy & glittery
Candlelight; My dream last night was that I was at the zoo and feeding the giraffes Fluffy; Mountains. Glittery; Fuck no I don’t like them. People are way too comfortable with being pieces of shit and sending hate anonymously. Pussy up and say it to my face if that’s how you truly feel!
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singlethread · a day ago
I really hope I don’t feel like shit tomorrow so I can go to the zoo and draw
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templarowner · a day ago
You can’t do shit, your prison do not work, your snake can’t do shit, your supper snakes can’t do nothing, if you can break treaty and own me I can own you. I’m after every order including star fleet to own. I put these dirty mother fuckers were they belong in zoo cages 
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singlethread · a day ago
If I don’t feel like shit tomorrow after getting fully vaccinated today I’m gonna go to the zoo
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erictravis-florida · a day ago
Natural Man NATURAL MAN ; Throughout history black people have been considered on the same level as an ox by Caucasians./ In Africa they beat their mules and dogs. In this country we have them as pets. / Monkeys are everywhere in Africa. That’s probably the reason why they told me the story about a Toubob meaning” American” also slang for “white man “ . A little boy was throwing rocks at a monkey one day. The monkey runs away from the boy and the boy chases the monkey in the bush still throwing rocks. The monkey stops running and turns around to the little boys surprise was a pack of monkeys waiting for him. I’m upunder Monkeys lol. / The mules would be in heat and would scream out every morning at 5 a.m I was either awaken by the mule or the mosque which was located across the street from my Kompound. Allah Allah Akba./ There were 6 foot long lizards which would run by my feet while I was sitting. I thought it was funny. Try that shit in America. I’d scream my ass off lol and run. /They killed all the snakes and lions in The Gambia. With a few exception of lions in the far east of Gambia and a few cobras still left in the country. Rats from the fields were prominent out in the field not to many found in the huts. The Hyena are huge. They have a huge back and are at least 6 feet tall sitting down. I saw a hyena at a zoo in Africa. Hyenas are the lions natural predator. /Bird watching is big amongst tourist. I had the fortune or misfortune however you want to look at it of having natural vulture heart as a meal. They didn’t tell me what I was eating until month’s later lol. It was to ward off evil and protect me from danger. Natural vultures feed off of plants and shrubs so they tell me. They fly over the land and act as a look out for predators. Vulture heart is considered like a cocaine in The Gambia. It has natural powers./ Mosquitoes are everywhere, especially near the latrines and showers. The mosquitoes fly around the excrements in the latrines and makes going to the bathroom quite an adventure. Having to go to the bathroom and navigating through the hordes of flies. The mosquitos are huge. They hang out around showers and bathrooms. I had to take malaria medication every day to prevent me from getting malaria./ In America I am scared of dogs. I’ve been conditioned in America to be scared of dogs due to police tactics and history of attacks from dogs. In Africa I walked by a pack of 10 barking dogs in the city of Dakarr without a care. They were more of a nuisance then anything to fear./ I read about the Zulus and Chaka Zulu training his warriors to fight lions bare handed as part of their training. Woman warriors in Ethiopia fought bulls with their bare hands. It kind of makes me think that we lost some of our courage and bravery once we landed in the new world. I’m still afraid of certain dogs in this country today. That wasn’t the case in Africa while I was there. / I had a conversation with a lady in this country about animal’s behavior in other countries. She told me about going to Australia in the Galapagos Islands and having to step over the sea lions on the beach because they had no fear. Domestication seems to go both ways in America while dealing with animals.  The domesticated animals have fears as well as human beings in this country./ The Gambian boys would spend their days either playing futbol, school, farming or hunting. I remember one day meeting some young boys in the bush with a dead lizard they had been hunting that day. I suppose they eat the lizards too./ The beach was made of black sand. I actually attempted to swim in the ocean when I got caught up in a rip tide under water which dragged me onto some rocks where I was scraped up but manage to make it back to shore after fighting the currents. This also happened to another volunteer who tried to go swimming in the ocean./ I remember when I first arrived in the Gambia we were stationed in a kompound with a tree that held 3000 bats. We the volunteers would congregate socially under the tree. The tree was loud and it sounded like a lot of people talking amongst one another. I would never do that in America. But once again I had no fear./ I had no fear of monkeys which you would see everywhere. They were as common as squirrels in my city in Florida. /The talapia was fresh and seasoned with squirts of lemon fresh. They caught the fish and prepared if for with a little grill right on the beach. They made fish balls which I’m still looking to find in this country. /They say in Africa one is not a man until he reaches 70 years old. / I held my right pointing finger out in front of me pointing in the opposite direction. The blue dragon fly rested on my finger as I looked on. While looking at the dragon fly I turn my head to the left and the dragon fly turns its head to the left. I then turn my head to the right and the dragon fly turns its head to the right. Then I turn my head to the left again and the dragon fly turns its head to the left. At this point we had already established communication there nothing else left to do but talk to the dragon fly. Which I couldn’t possibly do. At that time the dragon fly flies off my finger and into the wind. Leaving me sitting outside the front porch of my house./ It was a black and yellow bumble bee. About regular size. The back was black and the front was yellow. I extended my right hand exposing my palm. The bee flies onto my hand and stops right in the middle of my hand. I could easily crush the bee but that was not my intention. My intention was to get as close as possible to nature. After a few seconds in my hand another bee flies up to my hand and at this time the bee inside my hand flies off and attacks the other bee and they both fly away. Leaving me standing in front of my front porch of my house. /While hiking through the bush in Africa on a Safari. A Safari without the animals lol More like an 8 hour hike through the bushes of Africa. There was about 30 of us. I had gotten separated from the others even though I could see them in the distance but too far to yell. That’s when out of the bush jumps out a baby gazelle. I stopped in my tracks and observed the beautiful animal. It was reddish brown with black and white stripes. The gazelle appeared lost like me. When it stopped I stopped and we just looked at each other in amazement. It had dark black eyes that looked like it could see me through the dark if it was to reach that point. However it was the middle of the day in the burning sun. Then just like that after about 20 seconds of staring it jumps back into the bush. I always considered that good luck. I was told if you see a gazelle it brings good luck to you in the future.
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coinyuppie · 2 days ago
V God "bloodbath" zoo, waist cut dog, shit coin can still buy?
V God “bloodbath” zoo, waist cut dog, shit coin can still buy?
Btc NEWS In the early hours of this morning, animal coin holders were invariably awakened from their sleep by a man named V God. The big philanthropist V God first sold off about $60 million worth of SHIB, HUSKY, AKITA and other tokens, and then donated all of the billions of dollars worth of animal coins to various charities, a move that almost decimated the entire zoo of coin prices, and a…
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ladynoirelf · 2 days ago
Dark Crystal Tik-Tok challenge: My s/o doesn't love my anymore.
Deet to Rian:
Mitjan was preparing lunch when the holo-crystal rang. He pressed it up from its sheath with his elbow to accept the transmit.
Mitja whipped his head at the sound of his daughter sniffling and on the brink of tears. Paternal instinct began to surge through him.
“What happened Deethra”? He asked, trying to keep the panic down in case it was nothing.
“R-Rian...He said”. Deet dramatically covered her mouth with a trembling fist “He said that he doesn't love me anymore”.
“I did NOT say that! Why are you lying to your father”?! Rian called off the screen. Mitjan couldn't tell if he sounded annoyed or was in jest.
“What did you say then”? Deet sniped at her right.
“I just said that I’m not buying you a fizzgig. You have a whole farm of slimy worms back home, those are your pets”.
“But they're not here, are they”?!
“I'm not having a fuzzball rolling over and shitting on my carpet”!
Deet rolled her, turning back to her father “So yeah this relationship might not last long”.
“Oh Deet”. Mitjan sighed, cutting off the call and going back to cooking lunch.
Rian to Deet:
Gurjin was shocked that Rian was calling him right now. Usually when he was on a date with Deet his phone would be on vibrate so he could focus on their activity.
Thinking the worst, Gurjin picked up after the first ring.
“What's wrong”?
“Deet doesn't love me anymore”.
Gurjin could make out his friend’s monotone expression, imagining a look of deadpan on his face.
“My girlfriend of 2 years doesn't love me anymore”.
“I didn't say that”! Deet exclaimed, clearly sounded offended.
“What did you say then”? Rian challenged, leaving Gurjin to wonder if he should have even picked up the phone.
“I said I didn't want to go to the armory expo with you, I’ve been seven times I’ve had enough”.
“It's the same thing”!
“No, it is not! I'm tired of learning about the different wars and the glorification of bloodshed. Can't we go to the zoo or something ”?
“You liked it the first seven times”.
“I just started dating you, I was being nice”.
Gurjin hung up just as Rian let out a scandalous gasp. This sounded like a private matter.
Brea to Kylan:
“Darling, your sister is calling”.
Tavra turned off the treadmill, taking the towel Onica offered before her cell phone.
“Thanks, love” she grabbed the water bottle before answering the holo call “Hello”?
Said sister was greeted at the sight of her sister dramatically crying with glossy amber eyes.
“What's wrong this time”? Tavra chuckled, recognizing the famous crocodile tears her sister is known for in their household.
“T-T-Tavra” Blubbered Brea “Kylan told me...he doesn't love me anymore”.
A tanned hand gently landed on Brea’s head, giving her assuring head rubs. Tavra immediately recognized the affectionate gesture to come from Kylan.
“Brea, I just said I wouldn't marry you today”.
“It's the same thing”! Brea cried, burrowing her face into the couch arm.
“We’re still in university and I don't have enough money to get you a ring or-”.
“WELL GET ONE THEN! PLEASE”! Tavra winced at her sister’s harsh wailing through the speaker.
“I said soon...maybe”.
“Well it seems that two have that figured out. I'm gonna go mack on my girlfriend now, see ya”.
Tavra quickly cut off her sister’s pleas, hurrying to find Onica.
Kylan to Brea:
Naia sipped a bit of her smoothie before answering her phone after the first ring. As she always did when Kylan called.
“Hey”. sighed Kylan, he sounded dejected which caused Naia some concern.
“Are you...Okay”?
“Yes, I mean as okay as one can be when their significant other tells them they don't love you anymore”.
Naia bit her lip when she heard a soft groan from Brea.
“I did not say that”!
“Oh no? Clarify what you said then”?
“I just said, respectfully and kindly, I'm not watching ‘Jara-Jen’ with you for the 50th time this week’”.
“Oh wow, seriously Klan”. Quipped Naia with a smirk.
“Hey! It's a good series and with amazing plot and dialogue”!
“I know because we’ve seen it 50 times this week”.
“It's a good show, Naia can you support me here please”.
Naia sucked her teeth “SSory Ky, gonna have to go with Brea on this one”.
“Fine, You're dead to me for the next five minutes”. With a humph, the click of the end of the call signaled Kylan hanging up.
Naia looked at her phone in confusion.
“Why specifically five minutes”?
Mothria to Gurjin:
A little while later after Kylan’s little call, Naia was surprised to get a call from Mothria who was often too busy on this day.
She set her bola crafting down to answer.
“Hi Mothy”.
“Your brother no longer loves me”.
“What! That is a lie. Why the fuck you lying”.,
Oh Thra, again?
“Awww, is he being a jerk again”? Naia cooed.
“Yeah he is”.
“All I said was I'm not going to ditch my friends at the movies so you can go to couples yoga”.
“I'm hearing ‘let's break up, I no longer love you Mothria”.
“For the love of Agura”.
“Who misses out on an opportunity to see their girlfriend in tight yoga pants”. Naia bit back a mocking giggle.
“A gelfling who wants to see guts and gore”.
“... Gurjin I feel I should apologize to you”.
“For taking most of your brain cells while we were in the womb together”.
Naia cackled as she hung up and tossed her phone next to her, returning to her crafting with a mischievous smile.
Gurjin to Mothria:
Rian groaned as he was rudely interrupted from his nap by the blaring of his phone.
His hand stumbled as he tried to find it on the coffee table, unintentionally knocking some of the knickknacks off.
“Hey” he responded with a groggy voice, arm over his eyes.
“Rian, my friend, comfort me in my time of need”. Gurjin’s begging didn't even stir the man from his half-sleep.
“What do you want”?
“Mothria, my beloved lovemoth of four years, has told me that she doesn't love me anymore”.
“That is not what you said you dinkleberry”!
Rian pulled the phone away from ear at Mothria’s booming voice.
“Well what did you say?! Explain yourself woman”!
“I said you can't grope my butt when we shop. We’ll get banned”.
“Don't worry about that we can ask my mom to lift the ban if we do”.
“How would we explain that? ‘Hey Maudra Laesid, your son likes to sexually grope me while we're shopping and that leads to us being banned. Could you lift it please so we can continue to do so without consequences”?
“...I probably would word it differently, but yeah something like that”.
“Oh my-”.
Rian cut the line off, leaving the sogling couple to their dispute and allowing him to return back to his nap.
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nautilusopus · 2 days ago
do you have any favorite books?
Coraline by Neil Gaiman is the obvious answer lol. Still my favourite book to this day, obviously hugely influential in my own bullshit. Seriously check it out if you can find a copy, it’s pretty short and absolutely worth your time.
The Devil’s Storybook by Natalie Babbitt and its sequel (The Devil’s Other Storybook) are more of an anthology of short stories starring the Devil, who occupies every role from vague background presence to put-upon protagonist that are funny and thought-provoking and genuinely clever and that pissed enough people off that it was a banned book for a while. “The Imp in the Basket” is the kind of short story I wish more people knew about and wanted to sincerely discuss what actually happened at the end.
ugh i haven’t read a book i actually enjoyed in over ten years at this point uhhhhhh
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I think potentially the only classic I had to read in school that I genuinely liked and actually finished in one sitting on my own time. And I think the first time any themes a book had for me actually clicked and I was able to do any kind of meta analysis of it completely unprompted. Baby’s first literary comprehension. Slaughterhouse-Five is a semi-autobiographical piece set during the bombing of Dresden in WWII, and also some period in the “future” (the 80s lol), and ALSO on an alien planet as the protagonist is abducted and taken to a human zoo. The story is told achronologically, and I feel is hugely influential to my own shit where it skips around, building a narrative almost entirely by juxtaposing specific moments in time against one another. It's surreal and thought-provoking, and if you only ever make yourself read one classic, it should be this one. *
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien. Bear in mind this thing has fuck-all to do with the movie, and while in retrospect I now am able to enjoy the Don Bluth movie as its own thing, I remember being fucking furious when they busted out a goddamn magical amulet. It’s a different kind of story, but is more magic realism than outright fantasy, and the titular rats get a lot more backstory, as does the late Mr. Frisby iirc.
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo. God that book fucked me up. It is about a snotty porcelain toy rabbit that gets dropped overboard a ship into the ocean one day, and the various owners he has over the years as he changes hands, and the impacts they have on him, and it makes me fucking cry every time and is to date the only book to ever do so so fairly warned be ye. Fucking shit I wish I could dish out gut-punches half as good as that book could.
The His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, which in and of itself is an angry rebuttal against everything the Chronicles of Narnia has to say, as well as Christianity in general. You’ve probably seen shit floating around about the HBO series, which I have not watched. Lyra is a horrible gremlin child running wild around a parallel universe Oxford until she accidentally stumbles onto a conspiracy that goes all the way to the Church which unofficially runs the government and eventually starts an interdimensional war against God. The first two books I think are better than the last one, which really drags in spots (and in a twist of irony had Lyra’s sexual awakening censored from the North American release which like... come on man). Absolutely worth checking out though, especially if you’re an angry pedant like I am.
Tales from the House of Bunnicula, by James Howe. Honestly the entire "Bunnicula Expanded Universe"(???) is great, but in particular I'm mentioning this sub-series because I think it actually kind of taught me to write. The framing device used is that they're being written by Howe's pet dog and sent in to him to publish by proxy. On top of having just a lot of good storytelling tips for beginners (how to create a plot! how to create character motivations! how to write female characters like actual people!), they're also fun little satire pieces of various kinds of genre fiction. Like, the third book is a riff on Harry Potter and making fun of all of JKR's worst writing tendencies, like her compulsion to phonetically write out everyone's fucking accent.
these days i'm just too picky to enjoy books anymore idfk. you have no idea how fucking disheartening it was growing up with actual taste (snooty snooty snoot) and watching everyone go nuts over stuff like divergent and eragon and maximum ride and fuckmothering twilight and shit. like, yeah misogyny absolutely played into why people shat on it because teenage girls aren't allowed to like anything, but lest we forget they were still shitty books guys. that never stopped being true or anything. and you were a social pariah if you didn't like them and that sucked. and then a couple ostensibly good series, like harry potter and artemis fowl and hunger games just dropped the fucking ball for one reason or another as they went on and never picked it back up. i think the mid 2000s almost singlehandedly just killed any real enthusiasm i had for reading altogether (this is not even getting into the fact a lot of really fucking bad "grown-up" novels came out around that period too. whole era was a baaaad time for books). so here i am writing, i guess, because i've decided you fuckers can't be trusted to make anything good yourselves. if you want something done right...
(*I like to think if Cloud wrote a book he’d write something like Slaughterhouse-Five. I think at one point I was even working on a fic along those lines -- a fictional story vaguely based off the burning of Nibelheim and the fall of Shinra that was written, in-universe, by Cloud several years later. Abandoned it just because of how fucking complicated it would be to do. Might come back to it one day.)
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hkbennett · 2 days ago
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Hazel was leaning against the island while she watched her sister do whatever it is she was doing. The agent was in her head most of the conversation, snaking on croutons from the bag once she finished up her salad. “Harls, I love you, I really do, but if you don’t calm the fuck down. Why don’t you take a vacation day or something. Or go get laid. I’ll watch the girls. We’ll go to the zoo or some shit. We’ll play hide and seek. The house is big enough.” @harlowcamille​
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coinyuppie · 2 days ago
Your "shib", his "gold", a look at the zoo craze
Your “shib”, his “gold”, a look at the zoo craze
A new trend that has recently exploded on various social media and crypto networks is animal coins. Led by the dog coin craze, the entire crypto community has suddenly sprung up with heaps of imitators, such as HOGE, POODL, GRUMPY, Labrador coin, pig coin, and so on, and of course, the now justly popular Shiba Inu, or shit coin, which as of this writing is currently trading at $0.00003374, with a…
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poppy-battenberg · 2 days ago
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task 011. the arena
What sort of terrain/climate would you least hope to find?
“I think I could handle anything. But I hate the water arenas. It’s so fucking limiting. Have you ever seen an underwater fight? Between anything that wasn’t born to live underwater? Fucking ridiculous.”
What types of animals would you fear the most in the Arena?
“After that zoo arena, I don’t even wanna see a damn butterfly in an arena.”
Aside from the threat of the other tributes and ploys by the Gamemakers, what would you be most afraid of in the Arena?
“Couldn’t tell you. Don’t really know what I’m afraid of, but I’m sure I’d find out in an arena. And it’d probably be something so horrifying I never even thought to be afraid of it because it’s all sick as shit.”
Is there anything else that scares your character that they might encounter in an Arena?
“If we could keep my yearbooks and school photos from like fifth to tenth grade out of it, that’d be swell.”
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emilythehybridwolf · 3 days ago
*At midnight on the rooftop of closed Cherry Blossom Plaza Cryo looking around with his Antique telescope and stop at the zoo*
Cryo: "Mmmm…" *zooming in closer out of curiosity*
Kazumi: "what are you doing bro?" *appear behind him*
Cryo: *out of surprise and freak out* "MOTHERFU-!!!" *breathe heavily*
Kazumi: *step back out of surprise* "Uhh…"
Cryo: *look at Kazumi and growls* "next time… trying to warn me before you pop out of nowhere sis?
Kazumi: "well I'm sorry Cryo" *she rolls her eyes and looks at cryo with a curious face* "what are you doing?"
Cryo: *still looking at his telescope* "nothing~… oh hey look at this sis!" *look at Kazumi*
Kazumi: "what is it?" *walk closer to cryo, snatch the telescope from Cryo, and look at it*
*she tries to focus and somehow, she is frozen for seconds. Then she screams in fear, she breathes faster*
Cryo: "ppppfffffttt… HA HA HA HA Ha!" *crying in laughter* "you are scared of Trex and Raptor Statue!"
Kazumi: *look at him and growling at him* "you Dead Bro…"
Cryo: "oh Shit…" *start to head to stairs and try to run away*
Kazumi: "COME HERE, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" *stand up and chase Cryo*
Kazumi is afraid of Spinosaurus, Trex, and Raptor… only her family knows, and her best friend Amber too.
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singt0me · 3 days ago
He hadn’t known it at the time, but that Saturday night was going to simultaneously be the best and the very worst one of his life, and yes, it had an escaped capybara in it.
He hadn’t known it at the time, but that Saturday night was going to simultaneously be the best and the very worst one of his life, and yes, it had an escaped capybara in it.
Escaped probably wasn’t the best word to use in this case. Liberated seemed far more appropriate. Unconventionally freed. So on, so forth.
Minho knew something was wrong the exact moment he lost sight of both Thomas and Newt, and not for the usual reasons. Well, actually, he had a bad feeling from the moment that Ben suggested they all take a much-deserved vacation day and hit up the zoo, of all places. Call it a third eye intuition if you want; Minho called it Years of Experience.    
“Put it back,” he found himself saying only minutes later, at the migraine-inducing sight of Thomas with the animal under his arm. Not holding, for that would require at least three more Thomas’, which thankfully only exist in Minho’s worst dreams, but more hovering over. Shielding protectively. Christ.  
Thomas, at least, had the good nature to look mildly ashamed. And then he said, “His name is Terry,” and Minho could suddenly hear police sirens in his near future.
“I don’t give a fuck, you little shit – don’t name it! Put it back now!” He then turned to Newt who was standing behind Thomas, oddly quiet and asked, “And what are you doing? Why didn’t you stop him?”
Newt simply shrugged, and says, “He looked lonely.”  
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gender-man · 3 days ago
'Famous Celebrity does Something Everyone Else does!'
holy shit you mean they arent like, zoo animals? theyre human beings? jesus im tired of this TMZ bullshit. thank you for alerting me that gweyneth paltrow eats bread. i did not need to know that gweyneth paltrow eats bread.
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oversharingempath · 3 days ago
Bumble or Tinder? i hate both but if i have to choose, i guess tinder Have you ever used the app Smiling Mind? no Do you believe “Momo” is real? nope Would you ever consider being involved in dark tourism? i watched a show about dark tourism and it was actually really cool, but i don’t think i’d ever do it unless i was getting paid How do you feel about the 10th person in your contact list? they’re just someone i know from school and not exactly well. we met in one class that i ended up dropping a couple weeks later lmao
How did you meet them? a class If you did not know their name already, based on their appearance, what do you think their name would be? i think their name is fitting Would you ever consider touring North Korea? hm, maybe if i knew it would be safe What was your life 10 years ago? an absolute shit show. i was struggling with a lot of issues, gained a lot of weight, did a lot of stupid shit and was in a really shitty relationship What do you think it will be like in another 10 years? i hope i’ll be in my career field with a lifelong partner and my own home. i also hope to have the ability to travel by then What has made you nervous recently? health stuff Would you ever own a Great Dane as a pet? hm, maybe What were you doing midday today? i had just gotten home from a walk. i made a smoothie and got ready to start work at 1 Who was the last person you texted? my best friend When was the last time you saw this them in person? uhh... saturday, i think? Do you often catch public transport? no, the public transit sucks here If so, do you prefer public transport or would you prefer to drive? i prefer to drive for the reason stated above How do you feel about Uber? i’ve never actually used it (i’ve only used lyft one time when i accidentally dropped my bus fare somewhere in the mall while my car was getting worked on). i’m sure it’s great for some people Have you ever been to a Madame Tussauds museum? nope Think of your first crush. Do you know what they are doing with their life now? no idea What about your most recent ex? yeah, we’re best friends so i know everything about his life lmao What was or is your favourite quality about your recent ex? he’s really funny Your least favourite? he’s cluttery and sometimes very negative If you had to choose to paint your room black or red, which colour would you choose and why? ugh, black. i don’t like the idea of either but i probably wouldn’t be able to sleep in a red room. it would make me feel like i was on high alert at all times lmao Have you ever seen a kangaroo or koala in real life? only at the zoo When did you last send an email? yesterday i believe Apples or oranges? oranges Would you prefer to vacuum or mop? vacuum Who did you last eat lunch with? hm... i actually have no idea. i usually eat alone What about dinner? me, myself, and i Nike or Adidas? i like both Have you ever been to San Francisco? nope Have you ever witnessed a human being giving birth in real life? no, thank god What about an animal? yeah If you could choose to have one physical feature from the 15th person in your contact list, what would it be and why? uh, i’m not sure, i don’t really know her that well and i honestly can barely remember what she looks like lol
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