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#but never go out of your way to talk to and probably wouldn't notice if you never saw again
inmaki · 3 months
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gojo showing off your back scratches to geto
( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .
contains: sex talk, description of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)
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everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.
a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.
there was only one thing ruining his peace.
all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.
despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.
"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.
right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.
great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—
"i fucked her!"
suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.
big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.
"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.
"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"
geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"
unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"
"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"
at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.
"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.
"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.
it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."
suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.
a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.
"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.
turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."
it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.
not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.
and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.
"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"
an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."
"huh. surprised you could last."
as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."
geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.
even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—
satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"
he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."
over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.
maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.
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mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)
© inmaki on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Me: I think id want to know someone that's mutually obsessed with me... Like I am with them
Oliver: ok... Well then you can meet people, that's very easy!
Me: uh.... Ok
Oliver: yeah I mean your courses, the people there do have the same diagnosis like you so they might think the same way as you?
Me: mmm.... I dont think... I dont know how I think is normal even among people with my diagnose
Oliver: um, okay. Why?
Me: because of how I think of other people... Or other people I like rather
Oliver: yeah, well that's not... Unusual. I mean you want to be around people you like so you obviously think good about them?
Me: mmm, yeah but I don't think... You'd want to know how I think about others
Oliver: why? Now I want to know
Me: no, I don't think you do...
#miranda talking shit#He said id have to come up with an answer tomorrow and im like uh... Im going to freak out this man so badly....#How do i explain my mind is 10-20% concentrating on whats being said and the remaining is usually ju st...#And clusterfuck of mental hearts and me going 'theyre so cute. I love them. Their smile is adorable. I love them. Their voice is so lively.#I love them. They are so good to me im so lucky. I love them' like. Genuinely thats at least half what's in my mind when i talk with people#I like. Its similar to my... Crush mental headspace except then im also super embarrassed and self conscious. Thats how i know when i have#A crush vs i dont. But i... Am fairly sure most people dont think that actively at all times while talking to their friends.#The people i think less that way about is probably Linnéa but still i have 10% of my mind going that way as well#This mind of mine is mainly why i can believe that i am in someway a bit in love with all my friends. Because my mind just... Without me#Controlling it thinking that way. Its like an... Shitty snapchat filter over their faces with pink edges and words and sentences going up#Aboht how i cherish them and little hear emojis flying around them occasionally. Thats how i can best explain it? Its now excatly how it#Visually looks in my head but its how it feels in my mind. I usually just think like. Theyre so cute. I love them. They are so amazing.#I dont think ive actively thought this way.... Always. But since i turned 16-17 its slowly developed and now i am like... Huh... Uh... Mmm#Ive never had anyone else say they think this way of people who they arent... In love with basically but for me its about anyone i care abt#And i... Cant express it bc people would get uncomfortable. Think im in love with them... And then distance themselves etc#Ive noticed i uh.... Let my affection show too much when i speak about others i love to people. So i try to ... Tone it down... But yeah i#For me its natural and it is just how i see and how i think about the people i love but i know saying that to any of them would make them#So uncomfortable. Except maybe Maya bc shes kinda open and accepting and also very loving. And Linnéa wouldn't love it but would#Give a nod and go 'well its part of your package deal (and ive heard you say a lot worse)'#But my guy friends would be like NOOOOOOO wtf 😭#Imagine Fabian hearing this? He'd fake his own death and move to another country and start anew
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upsidedownmvnson · 8 months
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tell me you love me | steve harrington
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warnings: fluff (warning lol) friends to lovers, idiots to lovers,
a/n: i actually really loved this <3 i hope you do too
tell me you love me vol 2
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Steve Harrington had already tried twice in his life to confess his love for you.
The first time, you two were in the tenth grade and you had just accepted stupid Jack Warren's invitation to prom, so Steve didn't bother. That was back when he was settling into popularity anyway, so he got over it pretty quickly. He was dating Cathy Bartlett the next week.
The second time, Robin had made him pinky promise not to date you. She had held him down, sat on his back and twisted his arm until he pinky swore that he wouldn't do anything to destroy the delicate ecosystem of the friend group. There was already one awkward ex-situation in there.
But Robin was right, you were not like the girls he normally dated. If things went wrong he wouldn't be able to just sweep it under the rug, it could have painful ramifications for all his friends. Although... he didn't actually think it would go that bad. Steve would find his mind wandering on the idea often. He pictured the two of you in the kitchen, side by side cooking dinner and talking about your day. When he thought of you, it felt like home. It felt like somewhere he could build a house and live forever.
If he could only get the words out, he'd realize how quickly you'd accept him. He'd realize he wasn't the only one of you that was stupid in love.
You had been in love with Steve since you could remember. But never once thought he'd shared your interest, not with all the girls around him all the time. The way he shines in their attention and basks in their praise, it's enough to make you sure he's happy with how it is. Or he probably wouldn't have told you all about his date with Debbie Dabbenthorn, right?
Tonight, you, Nancy and Robin were at a party. Something Steve desperately tried to make not happen. But he was working, so there was no one to stop you girls from coaxing each other into drink after drink, which you always did. The three of you always drank too much, and Steve always got stuck trying to coral you and Robin into his car.
At the party, Nancy was handing you another red cup filled to the brim, sloshing over the side and coating your fingers. You hadn't noticed.
"I love when we ditch the boys," Nancy said, smiling as she sipped out of her own solo cup. "It's so fun!"
"Same," Robin said, slinging her arm around Nancy's shoulers, making the two of them sway and laugh. They caught their balance and cheered drinks. "Hey, help me find the bathroom!"
It wasn't hard to find, but it was hard for all three of you to get there without knocking into each other, but it didn't matter. The three of you giggled the whole way, laughing too hard over barely anything. Enjoying the simple joy of being with your friends on a party.
The line for the bathroom was short, only a few people deep. Nancy was grilling Robin on her love life while Robin evaded every question with a vague answer, soon, she turned it onto you, focusing Nancy on the other singler girl in the group.
"Do you not think anyone is cute at least?" Nancy said, not quite believing you when you say you didn't have a crush on anyone at the moment. You shrugged, trying to avoid admitting that it was her ex boyfriend that really turned your head. Robin chuckled, and slid into the bathroom.
You started sipping your drink when Nancy asked, "Not even Steve?" and you nearly choked, but you coughed once and composed yourself. You stared at her, confused as to why she would bring him up.
"You don't have to say anything," she said, and you looked into your cup, noting that you'd need a replacement after this trip. "But it would be okay with me."
Robin opened the bathroom door again, reassembling the trio be throwing her arms around both of your shoulders. "New drinks!" she cheered, steering you all in the direction of the kitchen.
"Drink up," Nancy giggled, "and then let's dance!"
So that's what you did, you guys drank and danced and had a great time. Until Jonathan came to pick up Nancy. That's when you saw that it was after nine, so Steve should've been on the way to come collect you and Robin from your drunken outing. You told Robin again how nice it was for Steve to come get you.
"But c'mon, you love him right?" Robin asked, laughing at your shock.
"I do not love him," you argued, but you did. Robin shrugged, but didn't look convinced. "He just is beautiful, that's all."
"Nah," she said, brushing off the idea with a wave of her hand. "You just love him."
"Do not," you mumbled. But Robin already leaned the other way when Vicki walked up to talk to her. You leaned further into the couch, the ugly thing was very comfortable. Steve should be there any minute.
"Hey," Robin whispered, "Vicki invited me to go with her friends to the lake... Are you gunna be okay here? You're not too drunk are you? Because if you think you can't stay awake, I'll stay of course..."
"Robin, go! I'll be fine for like two minutes..." you slurred, you were pretty drunk but Steve really was going to be there any second.
"Okay!" she didn't have to be told twice before she was scrambling after Vicki in her love-drunk haze. Or maybe just regular drunk, but Robin was feeling giddy anyway.
Steve was running behind because he lost the address that Robin had given him. She'd just ripped off a corner of a piece of paper, and Steve had lost it at some point in his shift. When he finally found the place he was thirty minutes behind.
When he got inside you were curled up on the couch alone, snoozing while some couple made out next to you in the spot Robin had vacated. He smiled when he saw you, and took a knee next to you, trying to wake you up nicely. He stroked your cheek, and tucked some hair behind ear, making you stir softly in your slumber.
"Time to get up," Steve said, "Where's Robin?"
"Went with Vicki," you whispered, rubbing your eyes, smudging whatever makeup wasn't already ruined from the dancing.
"Well, how mean of her to leave you here all alone," he said, running his thumb along your cheek again. "Can't trust you guys alone now though, she did leave you to fall asleep at a house party. That's like really bad, I'm mad at her."
You made a soft noise in response, his stern voice was, not so stern. He smiled at you, and you couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was. Leaning close to you, rubbing your cheek, hair falling perfectly on his forehead and you just wanted to reach up and brush it away like he did. But your hands were wedged under your head, and you were afraid that if you stirred even an inch, he would leave, and this moment would be over.
"Guess you'll just have to make sure you come with us next time," you whispered, eyes bloodshot and glossy from all the alcohol. He thought you were the most beautiful girl in the room. The party was still raging around him, and he easily could've found a place within the girls, but he was content in this moment with you. Your eyes started feeling heavy, and you couldn't stop them from constantly fluttering shut.
“C'mon let me help you up babe,” Steve said, aiding your drunk figure. The nickname made your stomach flip. You were dead weight, giggling as he took care of you and grabbed your things and still found the patience to be kind to you, musing like he was interested in all your drunk babble.
“You're just so pretty, Stevie, it's stupid,” you cooed, finding a place beside him with his arms around you for balance as he lead you, slowly, to his car.
"D-Don't say that stuff," Steve said, voice cracking at the beginning. You were drunk, and it was dark, but you still noticed the blush on Steve's cheeks, and you smiled.
He opened the door for you, and you commented, "so romantic," while holding your hand over your heart, and Steve's heart raced. He went around the trunk of his car to get another second of fresh air, if you saw him in the light you were sure to see the heat he felt in his neck and cheeks. You were flirting with him, and he couldn't contain his excitement every time you complimented him, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes.
The entire trip was like that. From the moment he was in the car you were just a loose cannon of compliments and praises. This combination of him sober and you drunk has never happened while alone before. Were you this flirty with him when he was drunk too?
The answer was yes. The real reason Nancy knew you really wanted Steve was because whenever you two are drunk and together you look like you're in love... because you are. Holding hands, head on shoulder, legs across laps, big bright smiles that made everyone think you were truly, madly, deeply in love. Everything that's just a little too friendly, but never crossing that silly little line that kept you both under the umbrella of just friends.
You were a delight in his passenger seat. He only wished you spoke like this when you were sober, because then maybe he'd know for sure you love him too.
"Hey Steve?" you asked, voice coming out as almost a purr in your sleepy state. Steve's heart melted. "Can I hold your hand?"
"Yeah," he answered, clearing his throat and moving his hand over to your lap, intertwining your fingers. Your hands were cold to the touch, but all you felt was the comforting warmth of him. You were both smiling, goofy grins to match the butterflies in your stomach. "You can hold my hand whenever you like."
You made another happy hum, but said nothing else. The ride was short. No words exchanged, just the quiet songs on the radio, turned low to let you drift off in the passenger seat.
When you got to his house, he parked the car, looking at you. He didn't want to wake you. And he didn't want to let go of your hand. Maybe he should just stay in the car all night.
Of course he didn't do that. Steve weaseled his way out of your grip, not bothering to hide how pleased he was that you whined at the loss of his touch. he helped you out of the car, encouraging you to climb on his back for "an express ride to the VIP bathroom," and he delivered, carrying you, all dead weight and giggling, to the bathroom where he left you to clean up. You put on the clothes he delivered, Plaid pajama pants and a big grey shirt. Well, you put the shirt on, the pajama pants were thrown into the tub, because you couldn't be forced to wear pants.
"Steeeeeve," you slurred, leaving the bathroom, giggling and bumping into the doorframe.
Steve was standing in the doorway to his room, wearing only blue plaid pj pants. His torso on glorious display, while he stood frozen at the sight of you. You stretched your arms over your head, and the shirt rose, exposing your panties to him. He nearly choked looking at you.
"Can I sleep in your room?" you asked, smiling at the effect you had on him. "Look how cute I am," you said, turning around and lifting the shirt while bending over slightly, giving him a perfect view of your ass, with the panties laying deliciously over your cheeks.
"Jesus," he muttered, unable to look away but trying to force himself to. He shouldn't be sneaking a peak while you were this drunk, but in his defence you were the one showing him. "Come to bed, just put your shirt down."
"It's your shirt," you teased, obeying him anyway. You danced behind him into the room, and crawled into bed. It smelled so good, it smelled like him. You could've stayed by Steve's side under these blankets forever.
You lay facing Steve, in his overly big, overly comfortable bed, too tired and drunk to keep your eyes open, but you still try. Steve smiles at your determination to stay awake, he watches your eyes blink quickly, trying to shake the sleep away.
You want to reach over and intertwine your hands, you don’t. He wants to reach out and brush the hair off your forehead and behind your ear, he doesn’t.
“Are we in love, Steve?”
The sharpness of your question cuts him, wounding him in a way he didn’t know was possible. He wanted to speak, but there were no words. No charismatic come back, and no way to avoid the lingering question in the air. Steve holds his tears back. He really did love you.
When your eyes peak open, he’s nodding. His eyes filled with tears that he refuses to let you see, but you see. "Yeah, I think so."
“Why is it so sad?”
“Because we're best friends," he said, "and I can't lose you."
"Tell me you love me," you whispered, silly mood replaced with a tight feeling in your throat, like you were going to cry. But you held it back.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too."
He wanted to cry. He wanted to kiss you. But instead, he just sighed, and found your hand under the sheets, and held it tightly. He was frozen. This was his dream come true, so why did it feel like a nightmare? Like you were right there, but he couldn't have you. Like he was doomed to stay in love with you, and never actually get to be with you.
“I will still love you in the morning whether I say it or not, Stevie.” Your eyes finally started winning the battle, and they stayed closed more than they stayed open, too heavy too fight.
"I know babe," he said, watching as you breathing changed and your eyes didn't open again. "I will too."
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Little Snores - OP81
Summary: Sometimes Oscar's girlfriend falls asleep in hidden away places so he has to follow the little snores to find her.
This one is for girlies who don't want to acknowledge they snore and deserve a man who wouldn't dare mention it either.
No part 2 requests please
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Garages are hardly places that are usually quiet enough for most people to find peaceful enough to sleep in. However, Oscar has learned that his girlfriend defies all logic and odds by sleeping wherever she sits herself.
She doesn't even have to be comfortable really, so long as she can rest her head back or on her own shoulder then she's good to sleep. On occasions she'll curl herself up and rest her head forward on her knees.
"Good out there, mate?" Tom asks making Oscar nod as he unzips his suit. Talking some things over after FP2, all before he notices that y/n is nowhere in sight. "She disappeared about 10 minutes ago."
"Thanks." Oscar nods sighing as he moves through the garage, thanking mechanics, having quick exchanges with other engineers before beginning to head out in search of his girlfriend who probably went to the unit to use the bathroom then fell asleep waiting in his driver's room.
Or so he assumes.
Just as he steps out of the main part of the garage and into the walkway in, his ears almost prick up hearing the heavy breaths he's very much familiar with.
Off the side there's a little rest area for if he doesn't want to go all the way back to his driver's room. Peeking in he sees is girlfriend bundled up in his McLaren hoodie with her head press against the thin wall of the small space, her knees up to her chest.
Oscar smiles as he crouches down to her level gently brushing his hand up and down her calve feeling her skin twitch in awareness of his touch.
"Baby, we're done for the day." Oscar whispers almost grimacing at the fact she sleeps in such positions that even his trainer, Kim expresses concern about her neck and spine suffering in the distant or near future. "We can get going."
Y/n yawns looking at him with a small smile before he takes hold of her hands, standing up then pulling her up to stand with him. Though she moves her hands from his rubbing at her eyes harshly and swaying as she does so making him move his hands to her waist to stabilise her.
"You need to change." Y/n mumbles tiredly finally dropping her hands from her eyes and smiling up at him tiredly before seeming almost giddy when he closes the space and pecks her lips.
"I do...and I think you might need bed." Oscar states making her yawn and groan a little.
"I think you might be right." Y/n hums then pushing onto her toes and stealing another kiss. "Ok, let's go."
Oscar keeps hold of her hand as they walk before they get to the unit where Oscar wastes no time changing into some normal clothes and then moving back out.
"Hey, there's the best couple in McLaren." Lando greets, catching them on their way out. "Where was your napping spot today?"
"The little rest cubby room." Oscar states with a grin since he actually quite loves his girlfriend's habit of sleeping in random spots to the point it's a bit of a guessing game for his teammate at the end of the day.
"Aw, I thought you might've gone for somewhere on my side of the garage, just to rock the boat." Lando jokes then seeming to catch a look from Oscar. "You two sleep well tonight though, I'll let you go."
"Bye, get plenty of sleep too." Y/n smiles as Oscar mumbles a goodbye before gently giving y/n's hand a guiding tug and the two leave continuing to say their goodbyes.
-
Y/n would never sleep through qualifying or a race, but the following debriefs is when she allows herself to find a peaceful spot to go undisturbed and nap.
On this occasion she has a towel placed over her as one of the marketing girls find her sleeping on laid down on the floor behind one of the sofas in the social areas, she's actually on display as a lump on the floor to the paddock. Not directly in sight since they're not on the ground floor but if someone looks up to the windows they'd spot the towel covered lump. The marketing girls are sure it can't be comfortable but Oscar has assured them multiple times throughout his time in the team that his girlfriend is capable of sleeping in any position that seems comfortable or not.
Once the qualifying debrief is done, Oscar sighs moving around since he's sure y/n would be somewhere but with her slightly more hidden and the marketing girls having busied themselves. They're not there to point her out and make his search easier.
He pauses as he steps out his drivers room frowning a little as he tries to think of where she might be then as as Lando steps out, he catches the light snores of his girlfriend across the room.
"What are you doing?" Lando frowns watching his teammate climb onto the sofa and look over the back.
"Y/n's asleep on the floor behind the sofa."
"Your girlfriend is like a bear, wants to find somewhere hidden away to sleep and snores a little." Lando states as Oscar gets back up and moves properly around the sofa to wake up his girlfriend but he can't help but smile a little in amusement of Lando's fairly accurate description. "I'll leave you to it."
"Bye mate." Oscar nods while slowly pulling the towel off of y/n who doesn't even stir or stutter in her light snores. "Why you gotta be the most comfortable in the weirdest spots?"
Usually he wakes her up but she's actually in such a deep sleep that when he catches sight of her face, she's drooling which he knows means she's going to be in a very bad mood if he wakes her up. On the bright side it also means she's practically impossible to wake up so it's not hard to pick her up and her to sleep through it.
Which is exactly what he does.
It takes a bit of positioning to pick her up right but he manages it before she's up in his arms and being carried out of there.
There's some fans and photographers who seem eager to capture the moment and thankfully Kim catches up with him and helps him get to the car.
She wakes up only part way through the journey to the hotel, grunting from the back seat and the little snores coming to a quick end as she rises from her nap.
"Morning, sunshine." Kim jokes while she smiles lazily at him. At least she woke up in a good mood.
"Morning?" Y/n yawns clearly not quite with it enough to realise she hasn't slept that long.
"No, we just left the paddock baby. Don't worry." Oscar laughs while looking at her. "We're going to grab something to eat on the way back, is there anything you want?"
"I'll decide when we order." Y/n mumbles with another yawn then smiling as she leans forwards and manages to get far enough to kiss him lightly. "Was the debrief alright?"
"Yeah, it was good. Better since qualifying actually went well." Oscar smiles then holding his hand back for her to put her hand in his just as a form of keeping in touch with each other. "You were in a deep sleep behind that sofa. Any reason you chose to sleep there?"
There's always a reason. Some peculiar logic in y/n's head that makes her napping spots make sense in her head but the most common explanation?
"It was just out of the way. Did you have to look for me?"
"Not too hard."
-
Oscar fell just short of a podium and after weight in, he's rushed off for media and debrief followed by some more media for the post-race segment.
"Hey, mate. Y/n's is in the garage, she stuck around to watch them do everything to the car and fell asleep. One of the mechanics came and got me." Kim states making Oscar sigh and smile shaking his head. "I went and checked on her. For once she isn't in a position that makes me worry for her spine."
"By this point I think her spine is more like a noodle. She just seems to bend it however she likes and it just doesn't effect her." Oscar jokes knowing that really it'll probably hit badly later but he's tried getting her to not sleep in weird positions when she naps and it works about as well as talking to a wall and asking it to get out the way.
They walk to the garage where a couple of the mechanics have stuck around not wanting to leave her sleeping in there alone. Something they explain to Oscar when him and Kim walk in and spot them.
"Thanks guys." Oscar smiles since it is nice to know his team are the type of people he can trust with his girlfriend when he's not around. They want her to be safe and didn't leave her until they knew Oscar was there for her.
Kim walks out with them while Oscar grins hearing the little snores that he actually finds a lot of comfort in.
"Y/n, baby." Oscar whispers moving to her level and this time gently tipping her chin up till he can cup her face and kiss gently around it. The heavy breaths being exchanged for tired laughter, giggles passing her lips before he kisses her lips and finds her kissing back sloppily. "Was the race that boring?"
"You did amazing." Y/n grins not even playing into the joke for a moment because she honestly adored watching every second of that race. He might not have got a podium but he was close and really so long as he finishes the race. She's happy.
Y/n climbs Oscar almost like a tree before locking her legs up around his waist. Face nuzzling into his neck as he hikes her up a little higher and helps support her weight keeping her there.
"We're need to get to the airport to get back home. But we can just sleep on the flight." Oscar states watching her smile as she leans back to look at him as he talks. "Good to go?"
"Yeah, let's get moving-I just need to grab my things from the unit. It's in your driver's room."
"Text Kim he can grab everything and we'll meet him at the car." Oscar states making her pause looking at him before smiling and nodding at him.
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ham-st4r · 4 months
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YOU LIKE TO BEG - L. HS
PAIRING: HEESEUNG + FEM READER
WARNINGS: PURE SMUT, UNPROTECTED SEX, ORAL, ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION, DIRTY TALK CURSING, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, CUM EATING, TEASING,.
WC: 4k+
SUMMARY: I was high and listening to this song AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET 💀 BYE
♡︎
It was the weekend, and you were at a party one of your classmates invited you to. You don't remember whose house it was at. All you cared about was the free drinks and music.
You didn't really have friends, more like acquaintances, so you were hanging out in the kitchen having a drink all by yourself.
You weren't even two shots deep, and within minutes of entering the kitchen, you noticed someone taking a seat next to you in your peripheral.
"H-hi y/n," you hear the familiar voice, and it prompts you to turn your head to the side and make eye contact with him.
"Oh hey, hee," you replied casually and took another sip of your drink. "Didn't know you were the party type."
"Well…" you notice his hand shaking slightly as he goes to pour himself another drink. "I'm just gonna say it. Usually, I never go to these kinds of things, but a friend said you'd be here, so I came," he said softly and cut his eyes at you before turning back to his drink. "I came for you." As soon as the words left his mouth, he swallowed down a whole shot, grimacing at the strong taste. From his reaction, you assumed he wasn't much of a drinker either.
He quickly poured another shot so he wouldn't have to face you after just admitting that fact, and he nervously gulped it down in one go whilst impatiently waiting for your reply.
You're not sure what to take from that information. You and he weren't friends, so it wouldn't make sense for him to want to see you and hang out. You barely talked in school, so it was confusing that he suddenly came to a party just to see you. "Okay," you shrug, not thinking much of it other than him wanting to be friends. "You want another drink?" You offer him.
"Yes," he says just above a whisper. "I-I mean yes, please," he corrects himself and sits upright in his chair.
You laughed quietly and poured him a shot. You didn't expect to even see him tonight, let alone hang out with him, but you had nothing better to do, so why not?
Plus, he was cute.
After fifteen minutes of you both chatting about random topics, you grew bored of the party but not the handsome preppy boy that sat in front of you.
Who you learned had a crush on you after it accidentally slipped from his alcohol-sheen lips during your brief yet somewhat meaningful conversation.
Which now explains why he seemed so jumpy and nervous around you, but you thought it was cute, and to be honest, you were kind of crushing on him, too.
He had been fidgety all night. His palms were clammy before you even arrived, and the drinks weren't helping calm his nerves at all.
Just your presence alone made his knees weak. He's not sure how he was even able to hold a good conversation with you.
He probably stuttered five different times while he was talking to you, but he couldn't help it. He was so nervous.
You always made him feel nervous.
And the way your hand was slowly creeping up his thigh wasn't helping that fact.
He coughed slightly and shifted in his seat but didn't make any moves to stop you. You took that as the green light to test just how much of a crush he had on you by placing your hand over the front of his jeans.
You smiled with your lip caught between your teeth as you found the outline of his bulge and traced it with your fingertips. "You wanna come back to my place?" You asked with the sweetest smile as you squeezed his clothed length, wanting nothing more than to get out of this party and into his pants.
His eyes turned hazy at just the mention of you taking him home, and he could only nod in response, too entranced by you to even speak.
💜
"Y/n, please," Heeseung whines pathetically while you sit on his lap, your core just mere inches away from meeting his stiffened cock that was still clad in his jeans.
You'd both reached your place about twenty minutes ago. It started out with soft touches and not stop lip-locking until you both needed more of each other.
You had been teasing him the whole time, loving the sounds of his feeble cries and weak attempts at trying to get you to ride him.
He tried to lift his hips to feel you, but he was pressed firmly into the mattress and pinned down by his arms and legs. "Please"
"Okay, baby, I'll stop teasing you now." You lowered your core, pressing yourself against his bulge and rotating your hips on it.
"Fuck y/n," he hisses as soon as he feels some type of relief.
"Since I was such a tease, baby, you decide how you want it."
"Really?" He asked, half shocked, half excited. You nodded, a smile on your face as you rocked back and forth on the tent in his pants. "Can I taste your pussy? Please can't stop thinking about it." Every word came out in a needy tone, which let you know just how much he wanted it.
As soon as you give him the green light, he switches positions with you, laying you on your back and quickly gripping the hem of your bottoms. He then pulls them down and wastes no time before leveling his head with your cunt and going down on you.
The first taste he got, he swore he came in his pants a little. "Fuck" he moans into your cunt, tingling your pussy lips as he drags his tongue back and forth, licking you clean before he makes a mess out of you. "Knew you'd taste so good" he pressed two fingers on your clit, giving your body a slight jolt of pleasure. He then ran his fingers between your glossy folds, collecting your essence on his fingers. "So good," he whispers and makes direct eye contact while he sticks both of his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean of your cream.
Your eyes rolled back, and you couldn't help but run your fingers through his hair and guide his mouth back and forth on your pussy. "Heeseung," your body shivers as his name easily rolls off your tongue, followed by a lewd moan.
He hums in satisfaction, his nose brushing against your clit and his tongue poking inside your hole.
He used his other hand to spread you apart further, pressing his face right against your core and cutting off his air supply.
Your moans and the wet, smacking sounds of his tongue filled up your bedroom as you gripped the sheets, losing yourself to the feeling of his slick, wet tongue flicking in and out of your hole.
He gave you lick after lick before flattening his tongue over your clit and sucking on the little bead of flesh.
"Hee- heeseung," You breathed out, thighs tensing with each suck. Before you could even get used to the feeling of his lips around your clit. He was already slipping his two fingers back inside you. "Oh fuck”
He moans, the deep bass in his voice vibrating on your core as he pumps his fingers in deeper, curling them up just right.
Your legs instinctively clamp shut, but his left hand keeps you spread wide, giving him more than enough room to devour your pussy, and devour he did.
Endless licks, sucks, and kisses had you biting down hard on your lip. You placed your other hand in his hair, pressing his face even closer to your core.
He gulped down every last sticky drop of arousal, his face covered in your slick as he made out with your pussy tilting his head and slipping his tongue in teasingly before he pulled away and nibbled on your outer lip softly.
You couldn't help but arch your back and buck your hips into his face. The pleasure too overwhelming that you didn't know you were cutting off oxygen, and he wasn't about to tell you he was perfectly content downing in your juices.
Which gave him the perfect idea. "Ride my face." Your eyes shot open the moment you heard his request. As soon as he saw what looked like hesitation on your face, he immediately started begging. "Please," he whines, slowly dragging his fingers along your drenched walls and nudging your thigh with his cheek. "Please, I want you to cum on my face so bad" he looks at you, giving you the cutest yet desperate eyes ever.
You weren't going to say no; you were just shocked by his request, but nothing sounded better than the idea of riding his face right now. "Lay on your back," you tell him.
"Okay," he slowly pulls his fingers out of your hole and obediently lies on his back while you pull your bottoms off completely and climb further on the bed until you're straddling his face.
You couldn't even stabilize yourself before his hands were around your waist, pulling you closer to his face. "Hee…" You put your hands on the bedpost throwing your head back, moaning in pleasure as he pushed you flush against his face, his tongue slithering between every crevice, licking you clean.
He was moaning more like whining nonstop, his hips desperately bucking up, trying to quell the insatiable desire between his legs.
Your aroma filled his nostrils as the tip of his nose brushed on your swollen clit.
He gripped your waist, a strong hold on your lower body as he ground you against his face, loving every ounce of it. "More," he mumbles out, and you don't hesitate to rock your hips back and forth, riding his face just like he wanted you to. "Hmm, mouth is so good hee."
That only excited him more as he licked a stripe for your hole to your clit, repeating the action over and over again to the point your legs trembled beside his head. "Cum in my mouth"
"Is that what y-you really want, hee?" your eyes rolled back, jaw slack, as you weakly grind on his beautiful face. "Want me to cum in your mouth?"
You ran your fingers through his sweaty strands, and his eyes fluttered.
He wrapped his arms around you, locking you in place so you couldn't move even if you wanted to. "Yes, please." The movement of your hips slows, and your walls tighten.
"C-close," he makes a sound of encouragement, his voice tickling your folds, and within moments, you're releasing into his mouth, desperately bucking your hips and getting yourself off on his skilled tongue.
When a fresh wave of arousal seeps out, he's there to lick up the warm, gooey goodness, never missing a beat, his tongue working to calm you down from your high.
He guided your core above him, his lips caressing your soft, sloppy folds.
After a minute more of him drinking from your water fountain, you lower yourself to his stomach, reaching your hand back to play with the tent in his pants.
He lays flat on the bed just like you told him to earlier. "Fuck, please let me have you."
The sight underneath you was the most amazing thing you've ever seen.
His face flush and shiny with your essence, his hair was a mess, and even his shirt had ridden up his waist, showing off his lean body that was now slick with your wetness.
Even after being absolutely pussy drunk, you could tell he wanted more, and so did you.
You put your index finger on his bottom lip, and he stared directly into your eyes before parting his lips and unexpectedly sucking your finger into his mouth and moaning like he had just tasted the best thing ever.
He swirled his tongue around your finger, even kissing the tip before he pulled away, which left you heaving and wanting more. "Shirt off." he easily grabs the hem of it, pulling it over his head and discarding it while he is busy with that. You undid his jeans and slid them down just past his knees.
You looked down at him, stroking his length painfully slow. "So hard," you whisper playfully, pumping the outline of his dick.
"Take them off." he takes a deep breath. "Please," He never forgets his manners, you thought to yourself.
You decided not to tease him anymore, and the second his underwear came down, you didn't hesitate to grab his shaft and align it with your gaping hole, slowly falling down on his stiff rod.
"Hmm, oh fuck" he slams his head back on your pillows, unable to control his reaction to the warmth of your pussy, sucking him in, he automatically starts bucking his hips up, forcing his cock deeper inside. "Shit," he breathes out, eyes clamping shut at the feeling of you wrapped around him so snugly.
A moan of relief escapes your lips as you feel him stretching you out. His hands slip under your shirt, caressing your skin as you take the lead and start bouncing on his long hard dick. "So good," he says in one long breath, his hands squeezing your hips as he indulges in the pleasure of you riding his cock.
You smirk down at him, loving the look of pure ecstasy written all over his face.
You took your hands off his chest, and he opened his eyes from the lack of contact, only to find you slipping your hands under your shirt and peeling it off, leaving your hair all messy, which made you look even hotter to him.
He whimpers pathetically at the sight of your bra-clad breasts, his hands quickly going behind your back and unclipping your bra in one go as you do a slow grind on him, continuously circling your hips.
The amount of control he didn't have when it came to you was almost scary, but he couldn't help it. Every last thing you did had him going insane, from the way you talked to him earlier at the party to now when you're fucking him senseless on your bed.
"Y/n, I need you," he moans after he discards your bra elsewhere, and you giggle softly because his desperation for you was so cute, yet such a turn-on at the same time.
"You have me," you say seductively. His arms encircled your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as you gradually picked up the pace sliding up and down on his dick.
"Fuck" his voice comes out muffled into your chest, his fingertips leaving indents on your skin as you work, his length getting wetter with every moan and whimper that he lets out against your flushed skin.
You cage his head between your arms, fingers dancing across his scalp. His mouth falls open at the soft touch, and you lower your head immediately, capturing his lips in a hot, wet kiss.
He felt so good his toes began to curl, the kiss turning more and more desperate the longer he hit your sweet spot with his leaky tip.
"Fuck hee, you're so good," you whine into his mouth, tongue messily clashing with his as he slowly fucks into you from below.
"I'm so close," he parts from the kiss, needing a breather unless he was sure he would have passed out from pleasure. He was already feeling lightheaded just from your touch alone. "Shit"
You moved to his neck, lightly sucking on it while rocking back and forth, your walls clenched around him, just begging his cock to fill you up. "Cum hee," your mouth hangs open in a breathy moan as you kiss his neck a few more times before leaning up, wanting to see the look on his face while he cums inside you.
"Fuck okay," he gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing as you picked up the pace of things to make him cum, his hips came to a halt, too weak and overwhelmed by the pleasure that he had to let you take over again. "I'm gonna cum" he rushes out, his hands going to your hips to slow your movements so he wouldn't cum inside. "Gotta pull out," he whispers hastily, doing his best to hold off his high.
"No hee, please want it. Want you to cum inside" You take his wrist in your hands, moving them from your waist so you can ride him without him interrupting you again. Pinning his hands beside his head, you use every last ounce of strength to bounce on his cock. You take him balls deep with every move, wet sticky sounds squelching between your bodies as your arousal mixed together, creating a white ring of pleasure around his thick base.
"Are you s-sur?" Before the words leave his mouth, it's far too late to stop, but he knows you don't want him to. By the way you're riding him so eagerly, riding him like you just couldn't wait to have your hole filled with his cream. "Fuck y/n fuck" his breath is heavy as his words linger in the air seconds later; you lock lips with his capturing each and every one of his sinful moans.
Once he's filled you up, you broke the kiss, nipping on the skin of his shoulder and riding out his high.
He turns his head to the side, eyes closed, and when you go to kiss, that's when you notice him acting a little off.
You were about to ask what was wrong, but you didn't need his words for the answer. He was still nestled inside of you hard as a rock, and no wonder he was acting all shy. "You wanna go again?" He turns to look at you, his face flush, hair drenched in sweat, and he can only nod in response. Yet again, if you didn't know any better, you'd say you had him under some sort of spell by the way he was looking at you.
Heeseung was awestruck and completely mesmerized by you, and when you were on top of him asking to go another round, the idea of saying no never even crossed his mind.
"Yeah," he sounds breathless as he replies, and you throb around him, unable to stop the rhythmic pulsating of your pussy. "Please," there he goes again, desperately begging you for more as if you didn't just give him a five-course meal and the best orgasm of his life.
His chest was flushed red, his abdomen covered in sticky slick. He was utterly exhausted, but that didn't stop him from flipping you over and taking the lead. This time, he didn't even bother pulling out before he positioned you to lie on your back. Besides, if he pulled out, he's sure he wouldn't even be able to last a single second without being buried in your cunt. This was his new favorite feeling. Your warm walls were hugging him so tight. He found a home within you, a home that he never wanted to leave as his length perfectly molded its way in your tight little cunt. "Put your legs on my shoulders beautiful, gonna make you cum so hard" Suddenly feeling submissive under him. You're quick to comply, your legs going up on his broad shoulders. He pushed the backs of your thighs down, pressing them to your chest, and you swore you could feel him going in inches deeper.
"Hee," you whined, already clawing at his chest, leaving little red marks on his lower stomach.
He smiles at your reaction, a soft laugh coming from him before he bends down and kisses you one time. "So beautiful like this." he traces your jawline, brows furrowing as he takes in the sight of every curve dip and imperfection on your skin. Hell, what imperfections you were literally perfect in his eyes.
He was so lost in your eyes that he barely even registered when he started moving his hips and slowly fucking into you, inching back and forth to get you used to the new angle. "You take it like you were made for me," he thinks out loud, hands caressing your thighs before he leans down and grips the sheets beside your head, thrusting in and out at the perfect pace. "O-oh y/n," he sighs, pulling almost all the way out before sheathing himself back inside of you.
Your mouth parts in an o shape, silent moans leaving your lips as your brows furrow in pleasure.
The sight of your pleasured face and the way your tits jiggle right in front of his eyes makes him go feral.
He swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, pressing himself further against you to get as close and as deep in you as possible.
Your arms immediately wrap around him, trying to ground yourself as he plows into you, going deep into your stomach with every thrust, and it becomes impossible for you not to scream in pleasure. "Oh god fuck yeah hee, just like that, don't stop."
The nickname, the sound of your whiney voice, and the needy clenching of your hole drove him to the point of no return. He's gone. So lost in your pussy that everything else around him is nonexistent.
He promised himself that he wouldn't stop until you were shaking and creaming around him. "Yeah, let it all out, baby. I know you fucking want it," he groans, fingers digging into your sheets veins bulging all over his body as he gives you his all, which is too much for you, and seconds later, you let out the lewdest moan every as you came so hard on his cock.
"Hee," you squeak as his tip keeps hitting your cervix, each touch making you whine and clench pathetically, asking for more.
"Keep moaning my name," he says as if you had an option. All you could remember was his name cause he was fucking you completely senseless.
"Heeseung," another whine of his name comes out when he unexpectedly starts rubbing your clit.
The sounds of skin clapping bounce off the walls. The room was steamy and full of nothing but the smell of sex as you two lost yourselves in each other.
You were already close again, and so was he. The way his full sack brushed against your ass turned you on more than it probably should, but you couldn't help it. Feeling his sweaty skin against yours was truly the best thing you've ever experienced, and you were on the edge of experiencing something even better.
"Fuck y/n, I'm gonna cum again," he grunts, feeling his forearms grow tired, and he falls on top of you, restlessly bucking his hips so you both can cum on time with one another. "Kiss," he says, rubbing your clit and stroking your walls to bliss. His unoccupied hand reaches for anything to hold onto, and your hand quickly moves from his waist, clasping it with his seconds before you both come crashing down, him filling you up and you staining his cock in your cum. "So good," he moans into your mouth, his cock throbbing with every spill of cum.
You hum, basking in the warmth of his load, brimming your swollen pussy over. "Hee," you breathe out, hand lightly scratching his back until you both calm down a bit.
He laid his head beside yours, your bodies still twitching and tingling in the aftermath of having cum multiple times.
Neither of you even think about moving the warmth far too comfortable to worry about clean up.
His cock was still resting inside you. The warmth and fullness made you sleepy, especially with him on top of you, feeling like your personal weighted blanket.
Moments later, you drift to sleep. He gives you a quick kiss on the forehead and nuzzles up to you, following you into dreamland.
♡︎
When he wakes, the bed is empty, but before his heart sinks in disappointment, he notices a note you'd left for him telling him you had to leave early. He breathes a sigh of relief and can't stop smiling from ear to ear when he sees your number at the bottom of the Post-it note.
You smile while at work after you receive a text from him going on and on about how great last night was.
You reply with a smiley face and wait for him to make the next move, and you know he would cause, after all, he liked to beg.
FIN
♡︎
Permanent taglist:🔖 @furious-eagle @hoyeonheeseung @heeseungssidechick @aishigrey @heesitation @hee-pster
Layout inspired by @heesdreamer
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aubeystawby · 11 months
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➤ SPIDER-VERSE CHARACTERS WITH AN AUTISTIC READER
miles morales, hobie brown, pavitr prabhakar, malala windsor (spider-uk), lyla, gwen stacy, peni parker, margo kess (spider-byte), jess drew, earth-42!miles morales, miguel o'hara
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miles! who is surprisingly good at interpreting what you're trying to communicate when you're low on words. it took a bit of practice — his first few attempts of figuring out what you're trying to say leaving quite a bit to be desire — but after the first few times, he's really good at it. you need time alone? he can see it in the certain way you shake your head or bite your lip. you're anxious? just need a shoulder to cry on? he knows exactly what you mean and is there ready to hold you for as long as you need. it's a very impressive talent at this point, you have no idea how he does it
hobie! who — when he noticed you picking up his accent when talking to him — thought you were making a joke/mocking him. he didn't mind that much, but teased you about it before seeing your expression of confusion, until he realised you hadn't realised you were doing it. you even pick up some phrases from him. he also just finds it kind of cool, especially if he overhears you talking to someone else with a slight accent you picked up from him/he notices you imitating someone else's accent in a conversation. he probably picks yours up from you from time-to-time too
pavitr! who stims with you. you're vocal-stimming? he's repeating it back with no shame and suddenly you're both just making noises back-and-forth. you're bouncing up and down because you're really excited? he's bouncing with you too!! you're bouncing your leg nervously? he's doing it too, but this time he doesn't realise — it's just something he picked up from you. you're tapping your fingers on a table/surface because you're anxious or scared? he's drumming his fingers too, making little rythms to help distract you!! if you need someone who won't make you feel weird for stimming, he is your #1 guy
malala! who is really good at helping you when it comes to an autistic meltdown. she knows when to keep her distance, and she's more than fine with staying with you as long as you need, helping you calm down. she understands how distressing it can be, and understands that it can be even worse if you're all alone, so she's there for you. the queen of grounding strategies, she knows so many for like any situation, and is very patient when helping you through with them. she'll also stick around after, helping you and talking things out if you need. she can give pretty good advice, but also knows that talking can be hard and is totally down to just watch a movie with you or something!
lyla! who never judges you for not being able to control your volume. she may be an AI, but you've also been witness to her happily teasing miguel many a time, so it's nice to know she could care, but she doesn't — she really just doesn't mind it! if other people bring up your unpredictable volume, just go and talk to her! she's fun to talk to and if she hears someone made you feel insecure she's not against being just that extra bit annoying to them. if she's 'there' when it happens, she'd probably start talking really loudly too, to mess with whoever commented on it
gwen! who is just as bad with social cues as you are. she can infer some things, but really with how little she picks up on and how similar those things are to the ones you don't pick up on, you wouldn't be surprised if she's autistic too. she tries to be very observant if the two of you are in some sort of social setting, taking note of any social cues she might have missed otherwise. you two have a sort of communication system for moments like these, where she might tap your hand when she's confused or you might whisper a question in her ear subtly. it works surprisingly well, and you've breezed through more social situations than you'd usually be able to with her! there's absolutely awkward moments though where you're both just lost, don't worry though, she's like double awkward and can navigate out of that with sudden laughs or puns
peni! who always has something to chew on with her. with it be lollipops, chewing gum, or even just a random paperclip, she's always got something near her. having gum/something to chew on helps her think so she totally gets it if you ask for some (though it'd probably be a good idea to explain — even just briefly — that it's for a sensory thing and not just you trying to steal all her candy, then she'd be more understanding). if she ever gets a new candy she's never had before or a new flavour of gum, she always tell you excitedly because at this point she shares like half her candy with you (and doesn't mind and all, knowing how helpful it is for you)!
margo! who totally understand when certain songs/sounds sound really stimmy/nice. you know that effect some people put on songs that make it echo back and forth between your ears? she'd totally learn how to put that effect on all your favourite songs knowing that you'd love it. you mention a certain music genre/music technique sounds really stimmy to you? she's recommending you every song she hears that fits that description, she probably has a whole playlist of songs she knows you'd absolutely be stimming aggressively to. she thinks it's so cool that some sounds make you feel like that, and also just loves seeing you happy!
jess! who understands how important schedules can be to you, and how distressing it can be when things don't go as they did yesterday, so she plans everything with that in mind. her life is very all over the place, with being in the spider-society, let alone being spider-woman in general, but makes plans for the things she knows she can control. there's of course times when she's had to frantically call off plans for emergencies or disrupt the schedule, but she always understands it's impact on you and apologises every time. she promises to make it up to you and always does, she's known other autistic before and understands how important the structure is to you. she knows sudden changes suck, to say the least. trust me, if someone's planning like a surprise birthday party or something for you, she's got a few notes and perhaps a very polite "that's a bad idea" to whoever's planning it
earth-42!miles! who has no problems with listening to you ramble. he has a lot of responsibilities and is busy a lot of the time, but when he has down-time and finally gets a chance to rest, he actually loves to hear you infodump. it's so relaxing and comforting for him to just be able to listen to your voice as you talking about your latest hyperfixation, or having conversations with him about your special interest(s). he genuinely does listen, and sometimes he's very tired so he might not catch all of what you're saying, but he's definitely making an effort to listen to you. when he has more energy, he'll have proper conversations with you about all these things. that's when you really know he's been listening, when he asks questions, and there's something special in his eyes that tells you he really does care and he really does love to listen to you
miguel! who — when he first met you — found it really hard to communicate with you. he was used to people not exactly being fond of him, or being rather quiet when he was angry, but there was something a little off-putting about the way you were around him. it took a lot of asking lyla to talk to you and just observation to figure out you weren't the best with figuring tone. from then on he's more careful, not dancing around subjects at all — not that he used to really do that, but he makes a conscious effort to avoid that — and being as clear as possible as he can with his voice & body language. he absolutely tries to let you know he's open to you asking a clarifying question if you're still confused too. your confusion isn't really completely avoidable, it's just who you are, but he does everything he can to make things easier for you!
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i absolutely LOVED writing these so much!! if you want to request another post like this, or a fic with any spider-verse character and an autistic reader, please do!! i'm not sure if i've seen any spider-verse x reader fics with autistic representation yet, so i'm more than happy to be the one to write those for you all! 💛 i also might have missed some characters in this, so if you want to request these kinds of headcanons for a character i forgot about, feel free to!!
(i love writing for less popular characters like margo, malala, peni, etc, so please do request anything for them too because i totally wanna write more for them in the future!!!)
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hannieehaee · 4 months
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18 + / mdi
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content: idol!mingyu x idol!reader, established relationship, jealousy, possessiveness, afab reader, smut, semi-public sex, penetrative sex, creampie, etc.
part 1
wc: 2410
a/n: ppl rlly liked my first gyu x idol!reader fic so i decided to make a pt. 2! im working on a long fic for idol!gyu x idol!reader rn (its a diff universe from this one tho hehe) which should be out this month <3
masterlist
it's been a bit hard.
dating an idol as an idol would really seem like the ideal situation, except when it wasn't.
yeah, you had been absolutely ecstatic upon finding out mingyu had been carrying a torch for you for years. you had felt the same, only ever entertaining your other friends' flirting out of mere desperation for the man to finally notice you. after he suddenly blew up, declaring his love for you, you thought it'd just be smooth sailing from here, except you hadn't really thought much past that.
maybe you were being unreasonable. i mean, you had never dated a fellow idol before! maybe it was all in your head. or maybe you just weren't too used to the dynamic just yet. you weren't too sure. but you had no idea how much longer you could take watching mingyu flirt his way through life anymore.
fans, staff, other idols, male or female, you name it. mingyu simply had an overly flirtatious demeanor towards absolutely everyone. you, personally, always kept a very clear line in fan service, or any other type of flirtatious scenarios (sans your previous attempts to make mingyu jealous). mingyu did not afford you the same courtesy, consistently following requests to call fans his girlfriends and even going as far as initiating the flirting in both fancalls and physical fan meetings. okay, maybe this was something you could put up with. these interactions were very short lived, so they never went too out of hand, but these were not his only offenses.
you looked past the flirting with idols, chalking it up to being played up for the cameras for entertainment purposes. you looked away whenever it went far enough to have fans speculating online. you knew idols were professionals at delivering fan service, always wanting to give people something to talk about. hell, you did it too! this was a bit annoying to watch, but you trusted your boyfriend and your idol colleagues, so you let it slide. it was other things that were harder to look past.
was there any need for him to flirt up a storm among all the female staff members? he was behind the scenes, for fucks sake! there were no cameras nor any benefit from entertaining their giggles and subtle touches of his muscles as they pretended to be interested in what he was saying. you knew your boyfriend probably didn't realize that he was flirting, having simply grown too used to doing it that it was second nature to him by now, but it was still frustrating! specially when no one knew that mingyu was taken. as far as any of his staff members knew, mingyu was still just your best friend, and any sighting of the two of you together (always accompanied by another member of the 97s or a fellow group mate of his to avoid suspicion) was always assumed to be strictly platonic. even now, as you walked into his dressing room, only to find his stylist - and a few of the members' stylists - flocking around him as he told some stupid joke that probably wasn't even funny.
it was sickening, really. the way none of them saw how desperate they came off. how none of them realized that if they all flirted with him at once, it truly had no effect, as he wouldn't pay special attention to any of them in particular. you felt like a hater, but being real, you were starting to become one. you watched him for a good five minutes, wondering if he'd ever notice your presence from across the room. when he did, he immediately went over to you, cutting off any of the girls who had been flirting with him in favor of welcoming you. he was amicable, giving you a simple hug. but his eyes told a different story. anyone who knew mingyu knew those eyes were reserved for his loved ones. that made you calm down a bit, even hugging him back and daring a short peck on the cheek.
today was yet another shoot at the hybe building. you had the fortune of belonging to the same company as your boyfriend, which meant you could stop by whenever you wanted (as long as you kept a low profile). you'd often drag jungkook along with you for appearances' sake, but had decided to go solo today. gyu was clearly happy to see you, interrupting his stylists to take a quick breather with you, heading over to one of the empty changing rooms and finally indulging you with less platonic affection.
"baby! wasn't expecting you today?", despite that, he was clearly enthusiastic to see you, attached to you like a magnet now that he had locked the door behind you, making sure no one was around to see his affections towards you.
"yeah, clearly ..." you couldn't help but grumble, disconnecting yourself from him.
mingyu didnt give you much of a chance to create distance between you, immediately holding onto you again, this time by wrapping his arms around your waist, yours instinctively leaning against his hard chest.
"baby, what's wrong? what do you mean?", a pout made its way to his face. of course he was unsuspecting. the mingyu you knew was far too into you to ever seriously hit on someone else when he had you.
you responded with a sigh, "mingyu, do you have to flirt with every girl you meet?"
"w-what? what are you talking about?"
"did you seriously not notice all those girls giggling at every word you said? they all want you, gyu. and you never put a stop to it."
"i dont .. the stylists? baby, ive never flirted with anyone in our staff, what? i work with them, of course i'm nice, but its always strictly platonic, you know that."
"the fact that you dont even realize it!", you separated yourself from him again, facing away and crossing your arms across your chest like a petulant child.
"baby ..."
"no, gyu. i'm not in the mood. i came to see you, but again, you're hitting on some other girl."
he wrapped his arms around you for the third time now, pulling your back to his chest as he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck. he was trying to break you down before you even managed to get fully angry at him
"princess, i'm sorry. i swear i didnt realize i was doing it. i- im just too friendly, i guess. why would i wanna flirt with anyone when i have you right here, hmm?", the kisses he began leaving along your neck did not help matters. he knew your weak points.
"forgive me, baby? please? don't want any of them. i'll tell them. i'll tell everyone, okay?"
"gyu ..." you whined, but still angled your neck for hin to keep kissing, leaning against his hold.
"yeah, pretty? i'll tell the whole world. it's just you for me," he paused, letting out a quiet chuckle as he shook his head, "it's kinda funny, though. now you know how i felt any time the boys would flirt with you."
"gyu! how is it my fault they liked me? and i only flirted with jungkook one time before we were ever together."
"and? still hated seeing you with anyone else. you're mine. you've always been."
he turned you around then, holding you close to him as he looked into your eyes. he smiled at you, kissing your nose before chuckling at your whines of annoyance at him. even when you wanted to be mad at him you couldnt. he'd always turn the situation around and swoon you somehow.
"let me show you, baby? show you that you're mine? maybe we can show those mean mean stylists too, huh?", okay, he was just teasing you now, lips drawn way too close to yours as he ran his hands up and down your back.
"gyu ..." you whined, making no effort to actually pull away.
"you'll let me. won't you, baby?" his eyes were glued to your lips, in a similar fashion to your own. you knew he could tell how badly you wanted him to close the gap, but you refused to make the first move. then he'd win. he'd be the voice of reason, which was something you just couldn't have.
"c'mon baby, just kiss me. you know you wanna. dont you wanna show them ill all yours? maybe leave your lipstick print all over my face for them to clean up? give me a hickey to- hmph!"
you had to shut him up eventually. he was driving you crazy. but he was also right. knowing you could make a statement about your relationship without actually having to explicitly say anything about it sounded too good to pass up, so you might've gone a little extra nastier with your kissing, running your lips all over his mouth, letting your tongue do all the work for you. mingyu had no complaints, even turning pliant under your touch.
huh.
he wanted you to be jealous, didnt he? he mightve not flirted on purpose, but now that he knew you were jealous he mustve felt some type of ... pride? at knowing how badly you wanted him to be yours and yours only. well. in that case, you were gonna give it to him.
you're not sure how it happened, but you ended up sitting on him, both your shirts thrown off as you ground on his lap as he sat back on the couch. the lower part of his face, along with part of his neck, were covered in lipstick stains, matching the smudged red along your own lips. you had left a few hickeys (okay, maybe five) on his chest area, not wanting to make the stylists work too difficult. the are with most damage, however, had been his hair, as you had messed it up in all directions possible through your incessant pulling. his hairstylists might have had complaints, but mingyu sure didnt have any. he kept moaning and sighing against your lips, hands guiding your hips from the moment you sat down on him.
"baby ... give me more ... please," you didnt blame him for growing frustrated at the lack of action. you yourself felt like you were at the precipice of pleasure, just needing to sit on him to find the way to your climax.
you helped him lower his pants enough to free his cock, playing with it for a bit before allowing it to slip under your skirt, panties shoved to the side in favor of creating a safe passage for his dick. you couldnt help the loud whine of pleasure you let out at the intrusion, feeling accompanied by mingyu and his own groan.
"gyu! shit ... feel so good- so big ..."
"i know, baby ... so pretty n so tight for me ... how could i ever want anyone else when i have my pretty girl so perfect for me. hole so wet and needy ..."
you cried at his words, speeding up as you angled yourself back to allow your clit to grace against him, making your eyes roll back even more.
"that's it, pretty. gonna cum for me? gonna let me fill you up, beautiful? that'll- fuck ... that'll show them who i belong to, huh? all yours, baby. just like y- you're all mine."
"yours! gyu, fuck! y- yours!"
"and im yours, baby. dont forget."
he kept poisoning at you from below, dragging your hips so you'd bounce up and down at a pace that had your toes curling. he always knew how to fuck you in ways that had your mind going completely blank, like right now. neither of you paid mind to the dressing room next door that was full of staff who could likely hear your muffles whines against each other's lips. you relished on it, even, knowing that once you walked back in the room they'd know who mingyu really belonged to.
"cum, baby. need you to cum so i c- shit ... so i can fill you up."
"almost there, gyu, just ... fuck! just like that! i'm cumming! gyu!"
"yeah, shit. gonna fill you up now, okay, baby? want you to keep it all in. show them im yours, yeah?", his hips never slowed down despite being you being on top. you were now just a rag doll he was using for his own pleasure. nothing had ever felt this good.
he filled you up soon after, with most of it spilling out due to the massive size of his load. he used his fingers to push it back in, then lifting them to your lips for you to lick clean, which you did with no complaint.
"oh, baby ... my nasty girl. how could i ever look at anyone else when i have my nasty baby so desperate for me? hmm? you're perfect for me, angel. dont care about any girl that flirts with me. you're all i want," he used his fingers to push down on your tongue as he said this, groaning at the way you sucked and sucked while looking at him with wide eyes.
"gyu ..." you whined as soon as he left your mouth alone.
"but im still sorry, angel. i didnt realize it bothered you. i get it. kinda wanna fight any of ur male fans when they get a little too friendly with you. that rookie at mnet last month? wanted to take him out back for the way he was looking at you when you performed."
"gyu!," you knew your boyfriend had been jealous of your friend group due to their former crushes on you, but he'd never told you that he felt the same way about literally any man you'd come across as an idol.
"what? im just saying, i get it! im also possessive and jealous. thats why we compliment each other. now come on. lets get you dressed, baby. gotta go have a very awkward conversation with my stylist so she can fix everything you just did to me."
"me?! look at me! im covered in cum!"
"hmm yeah. so pretty, angel. you better have it all in you by the time we get home, yeah?"
you huffed, but agreed, rolling your eyes at the innocent peck that landed on your cheek as he helped you look presentable.
you knew things would be awkward around his staff from now on, but it had been worth it.
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hoshifighting · 2 months
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Arranged Marriage
Synopsis: Where you and Minghao parents had this grand scheme to merge their companies by marrying you off, thinking it'd be a brilliant business move. Determined to stake your claim and keep your marriage intact, your make a bold move during a business party— planting a lipstick-stained kiss on Minghao's lips and yanking him by his tie, leaving no doubt that he's yours and yours alone.
Word Count: 5.5k
Warnings: Smut, throat fucking, blowjob, fingering, penetrative sex, public make out, jealous kiss, angst, forced marriage, mentions of diets.
You're standing there in this fancy white dress, all sparkly and shiny, making your way down the aisle to where Minghao's waiting. He's looking all sharp in his suit, with his hair on point and a little smirk on his face. But as you're walking towards him, you can't help but remember the last time you two really talked was at some boring company event.
Now here you are, about to say your vows like you actually mean them. But deep down, you know it's all just a bunch of lies. You and Minghao both know it. It's all for show, to make your parents' company look good. And the worst part is, everyone at this big fancy wedding knows it too.
The party's huge, like a wedding and a business conference all mashed together. People you've never seen before are milling around, probably part of some shady business deal your parents cooked up. It's like this whole thing isn't even about love or unity anymore. It's just one big networking event disguised as a wedding.
But you go through the motions anyway, smiling and nodding like everything's perfect. You exchange vows that are as fake as the smiles plastered on both of your faces. And as the night goes on, you can't shake the feeling that this whole thing is just a sham. A pretty, expensive sham, but a sham nonetheless.
You watch as people schmooze and mingle, making deals and connections left and right. And you can't help but wonder if this is what your future holds too. A life of pretending, of smiling for the cameras while behind closed doors, it's all just business as usual.
But for now, you paste on your best fake smile and dance the night away, pretending that everything's okay. Because that's what you do when you're part of a family like yours. You put on a show, no matter what's really going on behind the scenes.
You're feeling suffocated by the crowd inside, like the tightness around your waist is almost causing claustrophobia. So you slip away to the backyard, sneaking a slice of cake from the waiters. Your mom had you on some ridiculous diet for a whole week leading up to this wedding, all so you could look "good" in your dress.
You plop down on a wooden bench, the dress spreading out in a big poof around you. Just as you're about to take a much-needed bite of cake, you're interrupted by a voice.
"Why isn't the bride inside enjoying her own party?" The voice belongs to Minghao, hands in his pockets as he stands there, looking at you.
You scoff, shooting him a look. "I'm sure no one's noticed. They're all too busy discussing the stock market or whatever." Your tone is sharp, the underlying tension between you and Minghao palpable.
Minghao snorts, clearly not impressed by your response. "Yeah, well, maybe if you spent less time worrying about your parents' company and more time actually enjoying life, you wouldn't be stuck in this mess."
You bristle at his comment, feeling a surge of anger rising within you. "Oh please, like you have any room to talk. Last time I checked, you were just as tangled up in all of this as I am."
Minghao's expression darkens, and for a moment, you worry you've gone too far. 
With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you alone with your thoughts and a half-eaten slice of wedding cake. You watch him go, feeling a mix of frustration and something else you can't quite name. Maybe it's just the champagne talking, but for a brief moment, you can't help but wonder what life would be like if you weren't tied down by expectations and obligations. 
You stare at Minghao, disbelief written all over your face as you take in the sight of the one hotel room your parents booked for the both of you. A single queen-sized bed sits in the center of the room, effectively splitting the space into two halves. You shoot a glance at Minghao, and from the look in his eyes, you can tell he's just as shocked as you are.
The tension between you is palpable as you both stand there, sharing silent but deadly gazes. Finally, you break the silence, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, isn't this just perfect? Our parents booking us one room to 'get used' to each other. As if this whole shit wasn't enough already."
Minghao lets out a scoff, shaking his head in disbelief. "Yeah, because nothing says 'happily ever after' like forcing two strangers to share a bed on their wedding night."
You bite back a retort, opting instead for a more diplomatic approach. "Look, I think it's only fair that I take the bed and you can sleep on the couch."
Minghao raises an eyebrow, his expression incredulous. "And why is that?" he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
You roll your eyes, feeling irritation bubbling up inside you. "Because I'm the bride, for one," you retort, "and two, I've been on my feet all night, walking around in a dress that weighs a ton and heels that could rival skyscrapers. I think I deserve a decent night's sleep."
Minghao lets out a short, humorless laugh. "Oh, please. Do you even know how exhausting it is to be the groom? I've been dealing with people all night, pretending to be someone I'm not, just like you."
You narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms defiantly. "Fine," you say, a smirk playing at the corners of your lips, "then let's settle this once and for all. Who's more tired: the bride who's been carrying around twelve kilograms of dress and heels all night, or the groom who's been putting on a show for hours on end?"
Minghao looks at you for a moment, the corner of his mouth twitching as if he's trying not to smile. But then he shakes his head, a look of resignation crossing his face. "You win," he says, finally relenting, "you can have the bed."
You smirk triumphantly, feeling a small sense of victory despite the absurdity of the situation. And as you crawl into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin.
The next day rolls around, and before you even have a chance to properly wake up, you're thrown into a meeting. Brunch with both families sounds nice in theory, but when Minghao's dad starts putting papers on the table and declaring, "Let's get to what matters," you realize this isn't going to be a typical family gathering.
You try to maintain a facade of composure, but the discomfort gnaws at you like a persistent itch. So you do what you've gotten used to doing – you look down, avoiding eye contact with anyone in the room.
Minghao notices immediately, and you can feel his gaze burning into the side of your face. His cheeks flush with embarrassment from his father's directness, but you can't bring yourself to look up and meet his eyes. The weight of expectation hangs heavy in the air, and you can practically taste the tension swirling around the table.
As Minghao's dad starts talking about business deals and partnerships, you try to focus on the sound of his voice rather than the sinking feeling in your stomach. But no matter how hard you try to block it out, you can't shake the feeling that you're just a pawn in someone else's game – a game you never asked to play.
You steal a glance at Minghao, but his expression is unreadable, his mask firmly in place. And in that moment, you realize just how alone you really are in this world of high-stakes deals and empty promises.
You're lounging on the couch, the TV blaring in the background, but your mind is miles away. The penthouse feels emptier than ever, despite being filled with all the trappings of luxury. You and Minghao live under the same roof, yet it feels like you might as well be living on opposite ends of the earth. Separate rooms, separate lives, with only a perfunctory "good morning" or "good night" exchanged between you.
The loneliness weighs heavy on your chest, suffocating you with its presence. You long for something more, something real, but it feels like an impossible dream in this gilded cage you've found yourself trapped in.
You're lost in the numbing glow of the television when your phone buzzes with a notification. It's Minghao, informing you of a press conference he's scheduled for later that night. You furrow your brow, puzzled by the sudden announcement.
But it's his last message from the previous night that catches your attention. "Can you at least put on your best smile tonight?" he'd asked, a request that feels more like a demand. And you can't help but feel a pang of frustration at his presumption.
You make your way to his room, finding him hunched over his computer, the glow of the screen casting harsh shadows across his face. You lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms as you watch him for a moment before speaking up.
"What do you mean by that?" you ask, your voice tinged with a hint of annoyance. "Put on my best smile? What's that supposed to mean?"
Minghao looks up from his computer, his expression unreadable. "It means exactly what it sounds like," he replies coolly, his tone clipped. "We both know how important appearances are in our world. So why not make an effort for once?"
You roll your eyes, feeling the anger bubbling up inside you. "I think you mean that you want me to play the dutiful wife once again, to plaster on a fake smile and pretend like everything's fine," you snap, the bitterness seeping into your words.
Minghao's jaw tightens, and for a moment, it looks like he's about to argue back. But then he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking suddenly tired and defeated. "Look, I know this isn't what either of us wanted," he says, his voice softer now, tinged with regret. "But it's what we have to do. For our families, for the company."
You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. "Is that really all that matters to you? The company? "But fine," you say through clenched teeth, pushing yourself away from the doorframe. "I'll put on my best smile tonight. But don't expect me to enjoy it."
You sit in the backseat of the chauffeur-driven car, your gaze fixed on the passing landscape outside the window. The skyscrapers blur into a haze of steel and glass, a stark contrast to the turmoil swirling inside your mind.
Minghao breaks the silence with a casual remark, his tone tinged with amusement. "You don't look like someone who agreed to the terms of our agreement," he observes, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
You let out a frustrated huff, tearing your eyes away from the window to glare at him. "Yeah, well, maybe I need some time before I can fully commit to this whole acting profession," you retort, your words dripping with bitterness.
Minghao presses his lips together, trying to suppress a laugh at your expense. The corners of his mouth twitch with amusement, but he manages to keep his expression neutral as he looks away, pretending to be absorbed in the passing scenery.
You bristle at his reaction, feeling a surge of indignation coursing through you. "What's so funny?" you demand, your voice sharp with irritation.
Minghao shakes his head, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Nothing," he replies casually, his tone disarmingly nonchalant. "I mean, take all the time you need… Just try not to look too pitiful when we walk through those doors." 
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms defensively over your chest. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."
As the chauffeur stops and opens the door for you, signaling your arrival at the event, Minghao's voice cuts through the silence.
"Hand," he says simply, holding out his hand towards you.
You raise an eyebrow, shooting him a skeptical look. "Excuse me?" you reply, not quite sure you heard him correctly.
Minghao's lips twitch into a smirk as he repeats himself, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. "I said, hand," he repeats, his tone playful yet insistent.
You fight the urge to roll your eyes at his audacity, but begrudgingly, you reach out and grab his hand, almost aggressively. His grin widens as he intertwines his fingers with yours, the touch surprisingly delicate despite the underlying tension between you.
As you and Minghao step into the event, hand in hand, you can feel the weight of your parents' surprised stares on you. Their eyebrows shoot up in disbelief at the sight of you two holding hands, a rare display of unity between the two families.
Minghao squeezes your hand gently, a small smirk playing on his lips as he catches your parents' reaction. "See?" he murmurs softly, leaning in close to you. "It's easy. A little thing like this makes them happy."
You can't help but feel a surge of resentment bubbling up inside you at his words. Easy for him to say, you think bitterly. He's always been the one who effortlessly falls into line, who knows exactly how to play the game to get what he wants.
But despite your inner turmoil, you force a tight smile and nod in agreement, not wanting to cause a scene in front of your parents. "Yeah, easy," you echo, your voice strained as you try to keep up the facade.
As the long-winded speeches from the ambassadors drone on, you find yourself sinking deeper into your chair, exhaustion weighing heavily on your shoulders. Minghao leans in close, his voice a soft whisper against your ear as he asks if you want something from the bar. You shake your head, declining his offer with a tired sigh.
He nods in understanding and excuses himself, disappearing into the crowd for a moment. But as the minutes drag on and the speech finally reaches its conclusion, Minghao still hasn't returned. Your eyes scan the room, searching for any sign of him, and that's when you spot her – a woman leaning in close to him, her body language oozing with flirtation.
Your stomach churns with a mix of anger and disbelief. What does she think she's doing? That's your husband she's flirting with, for crying out loud. You glance down at your wedding ring, then back at Minghao, then down at your ring again, the weight of it heavy on your finger.
You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you stand up from the table, your movements cautious as you make your way over to them. Fuck, you hate that you're doing this right now, but you can't just sit idly by while some random woman tries to make a move on your husband.
Minghao's eyes widen in surprise as he catches sight of your determined gaze, and for a brief moment, you almost feel guilty for interrupting. But then you remember who you are – his wife – and the guilt fades away, replaced by a steely resolve.
"I have a wife," Minghao's voice cuts through the air, firm and unwavering, as you approach him and the woman who's been flirting with him. His words send a jolt of surprise through you, momentarily halting your steps.
But before you can even react, Minghao continues, his tone tinged with irritation, "And she's storming over here, so please, just leave me alone."
"Hi, Hao," you greet Minghao as you finally reach him, unable to hide the hint of irritation in your voice. "You took a long time. What happened?"
Minghao's eyes widen slightly at your abrupt approach, and he stammers for a moment before the woman beside him interjects, "Oh, she's your friend?"
Minghao's response is immediate and almost defensive. "No, I don't know her," he says quickly, his tone betraying his discomfort.
You can't help but suppress a smirk at his awkwardness, feeling a small surge of satisfaction at seeing him squirm. "Nice to meet you," you say smoothly, extending your hand to the woman. "I'm Mrs. Xu."
The woman's eyes widen in surprise as she takes your hand, clearly caught off guard by your assertive introduction. "Oh, um, nice to meet you too," she replies, her voice slightly shaky.
You turn your attention back to Minghao, noting the relief in his eyes as you come to his "rescue." Poor Minghao, you think to yourself, feeling a twinge of sympathy for him despite your earlier annoyance. He clearly didn't know how to handle the situation, and the sight of you coming to his aid seems to help him breathe a little easier.
The woman walks away, leaving you and Minghao standing there in the aftermath of the awkward encounter. You turn to him, your expression a mix of frustration and concern.
"Come on, Minghao," you begin, your voice low but firm. "You need to know how to handle situations like that. What if people who know our family saw that? It could cause all sorts of rumors and complications."
Minghao's jaw tightens as he meets your gaze, a flicker of defensiveness in his eyes. "I didn't ask for her to approach me," he retorts, his tone defensive. "I told her I have a wife. What more do you want from me?"
You let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your hair as you try to keep your temper in check. "I just want you to be more aware of how your actions reflect on both of us," you reply, your voice tinged with exasperation. "We're married, Minghao. That means we have to think about each other's reputations and how our behavior affects them."
Minghao's expression softens slightly at your words, but there's still a stubborn set to his jaw as he crosses his arms over his chest. "I know that," he says, his voice quieter now, more subdued. "But sometimes things happen, and I can't control them."
You shake your head, feeling a surge of frustration rising within you. "That's not an excuse, Minghao," you say firmly. "We both have to do better if we want this marriage to work. We have to be a team."
Minghao's lips twitch into a smirk of his own, a challenge flashing in his eyes as he steps closer to you. "Oh, is that so, Mrs. Xu?" he replies, his voice dripping with mock innocence. "And what exactly would it take for me to earn back the privilege of being called by my first name?"
You roll your eyes, unable to suppress a laugh at his cheekiness. "Maybe if you stopped getting yourself into awkward situations with random women at parties," you shoot back, unable to resist the opportunity for a playful jab.
Minghao feigns offense, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "Hey now, that wasn't entirely my fault," he protests, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Besides, you were the one who came to my rescue, remember?"
Minghao's playful grin falters as you shoot him a pointed look, hands firmly planted on your hips. "Am I wrong now? What should I do then?" you challenge, your tone laced with frustration.
He shrugs, his expression sheepish as he searches for an answer. "You need to make them know I'm your husband," he suggests vaguely, a glimmer of uncertainty in his eyes.
You narrow your gaze, a surge of determination coursing through you as you follow his line of sight to the woman who had been eyeing him earlier. She's still watching him, her gaze lingering a little too long for your liking.
"Fine then," you declare, your jaw set in determination. Without another word, you reach out and grab Minghao by the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to you. Before he can protest, you press your lips to his in a firm, possessive kiss.
For a moment, Minghao freezes, his hands hovering uncertainly in the air. But then, as if realizing what's happening, he responds eagerly, his hands finding your waist as he pulls you closer, his fingers tangling in your hair as the kiss deepens.
You trail kisses along his neck, feeling a low hum of satisfaction reverberate through him. His hands tighten around your waist, pulling you closer as you continue to explore the sensitive skin of his neck with your lips.
When you pull back slightly, his eyes meet yours, a hint of mischief dancing in their depths. You reach up and gently tug on his bottom lip, a silent invitation for him to surrender completely to the passion between you.
Minghao's lips part in response, his eyes darkening with desire as he leans in to capture your mouth in another searing kiss. You can feel the heat of his body against yours, the intensity of the moment threatening to consume you both.
As you finally break the kiss, your lips swollen and tingling with the taste of him, you look at his face, satisfied with your handiwork. His lips, jaw, and neck are adorned with smudges of your red lipstick, a visible testament that being arranged or not, he is your husband.
With a mischievous glint in your eyes, you reach out and grab Minghao by the tie, tugging him gently but firmly in the direction of the exit. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise at your sudden assertiveness, but he follows your lead without hesitation.
As you walk through the party, you make no effort to hide the fact that you're leading Minghao out by his tie. You want everyone to see, especially that woman who dared to flirt with him earlier. With each step, you feel a surge of satisfaction knowing that you're marking your territory, making it abundantly clear to anyone watching that Minghao belongs to you.
People turn to look as you pass by, their curious glances met with a confident smile from you and a sheepish grin from Minghao. You hold your head high, your grip on his tie unwavering as you guide him through the crowd.
Finally, you reach the exit, and with one last glance around the room, you pull Minghao outside, the cool night air washing over you both. Alone at last, you turn to him with a victorious smirk.
"Well, that was fun," you say, a hint of laughter in your voice as you release his tie. "But I think we've made our point. Shall we get out of here?"
Minghao chuckles, shaking his head in amusement as he takes your hand in his. "Absolutely," he replies, a warmth in his eyes as he looks at you. "Anywhere you want to go, Mrs. Xu."
As soon as you step through the door of your home, you're wrapped up in a frenzy of passionate kisses with Minghao. Clothes, shoes, and his tie fly off haphazardly as you stumble towards the nearest surface, unable to keep your hands off each other.
Between kisses, Minghao pulls back slightly, his lips brushing against your neck as he speaks. "I didn't know you were that jealous," he murmurs, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You hiss in response, your breath catching in your throat as his lips trail along your skin. "I wasn't jealous," you protest, your voice tinged with frustration. "I was just...rescuing you, you bastard!"
Minghao laughs at your outburst, the sound sending shivers down your spine. "Hmm, just like a predator," he teases, his hands roaming over your body with a newfound confidence.
You scoff at his comment, a smirk playing at the corners of your lips. "You've seen nothing yet," you reply, meeting his gaze with a challenge in your eyes.
Minghao's eyes light up with excitement as he looks at you, a playful glint in his eyes. "Yeah?" he asks, his voice low and husky.
"Yeah," you confirm with a smirk, pulling him in for another kiss.
But then, his hand moves to the top of your head, gently guiding you downwards until your knees find the ground. You look up at him with a mixture of desire and anticipation, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you eagerly await his next move.
With a shaky breath, Minghao pulls himself free from his pants, his cock standing proudly before you. You wrap your hand around it, feeling the heat and hardness of him beneath your touch. A wicked grin plays at your lips as you tap the tip of his cock against your face, biting your lip in anticipation.
Minghao lets out a shaky moan at the provocative sight before him, his eyes dark with desire as he watches you. "Fuck, you're so damn sexy," he groans, his voice rough with need. "You know exactly what you're doing to me, don't you?"
You smirk up at him, your hand still wrapped around his cock as you tease him with your lips. "Mmm, maybe," you purr, your voice dripping with seduction. "But I want to hear you say it. Tell me how much you want me, Minghao."
His breath hitches as he meets your gaze, his fingers tangling in your hair as he guides you closer to him. "I want you more than anything," he confesses, his voice thick with desire. "I need you, baby. Please, show me how much you want me too."
You eagerly lower your mouth onto Minghao's throbbing cock, sucking greedily as you take him deeper and deeper into your mouth. You can feel him thrusting his hips, the need for more driving him to move against you.
Your hands slide down to his thighs, giving him the freedom to move as he pleases. His fingers tangle in your hair, guiding your movements as he sets the pace, his hips rocking against you in a rhythm of his own making.
As you take him deeper, you close your eyes, relaxing your jaw to accommodate his length. Minghao's voice breaks through the haze of pleasure, his words a gentle reminder of his concern for your well-being.
"Tap if you need to breathe," he murmurs, his hand tightening in your ponytail as he continues to move his hips.
You press your hand against his thigh in affirmation, letting him know that you're okay as you continue to take him deeper, your throat working to accommodate his length. Minghao lets out a low groan of pleasure, his hips moving in tandem with your movements as you both chase the pinnacle of ecstasy.
Between thrusts, Minghao's voice fills the air with a husky whisper. "God, you feel so fucking good," he moans, his words driving you to take him even deeper. "You're amazing, baby. Just keep going, just like that."
As Minghao's cock throbs in your mouth, you feel a surge of pleasure coursing through you, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. Drool drips from your chin, a testament to your eagerness and arousal, as you continue to take him deeper, your mouth working tirelessly to please him.
With each throb of his cock, you can feel the tension building, the heat of his arousal radiating through you. Your eyes roll back in your head, lost in a haze of pleasure as you surrender yourself completely to the ecstasy of the moment.
And as Minghao's cock pulses in your mouth, you know that you've pushed him to the edge, his release imminent. With one final throb, he cries out your name, his body tensing as he spills his cum into your waiting mouth.
You swallow eagerly, savoring the taste of him. You moan softly as Minghao's lips meet yours again, the taste of him still lingering on your tongue, and he slowly guides you towards his room.
As you fall onto the bed, Minghao's fingers trace lazy patterns along your inner thighs, making you squirm beneath his touch, unable to hide your arousal as he gazes down at you with dark, hungry eyes.
"You're so wet…" he murmurs, his voice thick with desire as he continues to tease you with his fingers.
Minghao's lips curl into a smug grin as his fingers trailing lower until they reach the damp fabric of your panties. With agonizing slowness, he begins to peel them away, revealing your glistening folds to his hungry gaze.
"Tell me what you want, baby" he whispers, his voice a low growl in your ear as he leans in close. "Tell me how you want me to make you feel."
You arch your back, aching for his touch as you meet his gaze with a sultry smirk. "I want your fingers inside me, Minghao" you breathe, your voice dripping with desire. "I want you to make me come so fucking hard"
Minghao's eyes darken with lust as he hears your words, his fingers finding their way to your slick entrance. With a wicked grin, he plunges his slender fingers deep inside you, his touch sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your body.
And then, just when you think you can't take any more, he finds it – that deep spot that sends electric jolts shooting through you. Your pussy clenches around his fingers in response, a desperate attempt to hold your orgasm.
But Minghao isn't finished yet. With a wicked grin, he leans in close, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he whispers his intentions. "You're not going to cum yet," he murmurs. "Let me hit that spot with my cock, then you can cream around it as much as you want."
Your breath catches in your throat at his words, with the promise of what's going to come. With a nod of agreement, you bite your lip in anticipation, eager for the moment when Minghao will fuck you with his cock.
As Minghao positions himself above you, his gaze locked with yours in a silent promise of pleasure to come, you sneak a peek at his cock. It's long, with bulging veins and dripping with pre-cum, making it clear he's rock hard and ready to go. The contrast with his slender body just makes it look even bigger.
Before you can even think of a response, Minghao speaks up, his voice low and husky. "You ready for me, baby?" he asks, his eyes smoldering with desire.
You open your mouth to reply, but before you can get a word out, his cock is stretching you out, leaving you breathless and speechless as he fills you completely.
As soon as Minghao finds your g'spot, your pussy immediately tightens around him, milking him with such intensity that he has to hold himself back from coming right then and there. His pretty moans only serve to heighten your own arousal, making it even harder for you to hold back your impending orgasm.
"Fuck, you're so tight," he groans, his voice strained with pleasure as he tries to control himself. He hopes that you'll stop clenching, but as soon as he hits that spot again, he hisses in response, the sensation driving him wild.
Realizing that he's in danger of cumming too early, Minghao decides to focus on fucking you in just the right way, hitting that spot with precision and intensity. He squirms, desperate for you to climax first, knowing that your pleasure will only fuel his own.
With each thrust, each movement, the pleasure builds between you, reaching a fever pitch that threatens to consume you both. Minghao's hips move in a steady rhythm, his cock driving deeper and deeper into you with each thrust, his own pleasure mounting with each passing second.
And then, finally, it happens. You reach the peak of ecstasy, your body shaking with the force of your orgasm as pleasure washes over you in relentless waves. Your pussy clenches around Minghao's cock, milking him for all he's worth as he loses control, his own release crashing over him in a tidal wave of pleasure.
With a tired groan, Minghao collapses beside you, his body spent from the intensity of your shared passion. He turns to you with a lazy smile, his eyes twinkling with satisfaction.
"If I'd known all it took to get you to kiss me was making you jealous, I would've done it ages ago," he teases, his voice laced with amusement.
You roll your eyes, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. "I wasn't jealous," you protest, crossing your arms over your chest.
Minghao raises an eyebrow, his expression incredulous. "Imagine if you were then" he scoffs, his tone teasing. "I don't think we'd be here right now if you weren't just a little bit jealous."
You huff in mock indignation, but deep down, you know he's right.
ou nudge Minghao playfully, a smile dancing on your lips. "Well, lucky for you, a little jealousy was all it took," you quip, teasing him.
He chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling as he gazes at you. "I guess I'll have to remember that for next time," he replies, his voice tinged with amusement.
You laugh, shaking your head in mock exasperation. "Oh, so there's going to be a next time now?" you tease, raising an eyebrow.
Minghao grins, leaning in closer to you. "Count on it," he murmurs, his voice low and husky as he brushes his lips against yours.
1K notes · View notes
ambrosiagourmet · 2 months
Text
Did Laios have a plan
... when he made his deal with the Lion? How much of it was intentional and how much of it was out of his control?
Well. If I'm being honest I don't really want to try and provide a definitive answer to that question, because I think the ambiguity is, itself, part of the story. I've gone back and forth a few times myself, and I don't think either category - "fully intentional" or "fully coincidence" - is entirely true.
That being said, I would like to point out a few things that I've seen taken for granted as true. Things that, imo, are much more about the character's perspective, or about what the character WANTS people to think (well, that's really just the Winged Lion).
Consider this not exactly an argument for "Laios masterminded everything from the start and saved the world with his cunning," but more... "Laios considered what he was doing more than people give him credit for." Make sense?
Alright then, let's go:
So to start with, I want to show every time (that I could find, at least) that the question of 'does Laios have a plan' gets brought up. This is specifically after his Ultimate Monster Form is revealed, to be clear - the question isn't about if he has a plan in general, it is if he has/had a plan when he made this specific deal with the Lion.
Here they are:
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You'll notice, in all of these instances, there never really is an answer given to the question. Either because there is no way to get one, or, with Kabru at the end there, because he explicitly doesn't let Laios answer. There's even a bit of an arc here: we start with a sort of desperate 'I've mostly given up but maybe this isn't as bad as it looks,' then get a more optimistic 'maybe we really are saved,' and finally end on 'it all worked out in the end, so we maybe don't need to know.'
But, as much as there is some genuine growth in Kabru's 'accept the outcome, rather than dissecting the truth,' I also think it says a lot more about him than about Laios. Kabru is the one trying to handle his questions and his uncertainty - as he said, he wants to confirm his judgement of character. He wants to feel like he had control over things.
And he lets that go! But he also doesn't actually get the truth, either, and his implied assumption here (that Laios, the wide-eyed monster-lover, probably just followed his desires), still relies on his judgements and assumptions about Laios.
But okay, these bits are all focused on the characters theorizing about Laios. How about we look at the character who actually tells us the facts ("facts"): the Winged Lion.
The Winged Lion has quite a bit to say about Laios and his monster form.
He says that Laios hates humanity, and would rather be a monster
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I've talked about this a bit already, but the Lion makes a lot of claims and assumptions about Laios that aren't necessarily true.
First of all, let's just make sure we clearly establish that the Lion is being manipulative here. That may seem obvious, but it's important to understand that there is a difference between 'the truth' and 'a version of the truth specifically framed to prey upon your deepest shame and insecurities about what you really want.'
To point out a few quick-and-dirty contradictions here:
If Laios really hated all other humans, then the Lion wouldn't hinge so many of his other arguments on Laios' love for Falin and his friends.
the Lion claims that Laios "[doesn't] even care enough about the future of [the] world to express an opinion about it," even though Laios has literally expressed opinions on what he wants for the world, to the Lion's face.
In general, the Lion does not make a distinction between urges and choices (see, for instance: him using Marcille's subconscious fear of the canaries as a way to keep her from stopping the monsters from attacking in chapter 86).
I'm not saying there is not a piece of truth here, but also... we are not our darkest thoughts, and we especially are not those thoughts as defined by someone who wants to hurt and control us.
But let’s move on to the stuff the Lion claims about Laios once he has been turned into his monster form.
2. He says that (or rather, acts like) Laios is under his control
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The Lion really enjoys grandstanding about how Monster Laios is an ultimate tool he has control over. He gloats about making Laios fight the others, and has him smash through the magical barrier.
But smashing the barrier is kinda the only thing that Monster Laios actually does for the Lion. He doesn't attack anyone. He doesn't hurt his friends, despite Chilchuck thinking that Laios has "turned completely into a monster." And he certainly doesn't simply let the Lion go through with his plan to eat everyone.
This barrier smashing is actually an interesting and odd thing for Laios to have done specifically, so remember that one. I'll come back to it later.
But, yeah, to the original point... despite the Lion's dramatics, all that Monster Laios does is pose, smash up a magic barrier, and then eat him. Not exactly under his control.
AND SPEAKING OF EATING THE DEMON...
3. He frames Laios attacking and eating him as thoughtlessly violent
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This one is pretty funny to me, and the Lion keeps it up for the whole scene. I'm not sure how much of this is his genuine understanding of the situation, and how much is him intentionally framing things in the most insulting manner, but like... truly. The ego involved in this. To see someone who has, multiple times, tried to stand against you - someone who has literally wished for your non-existence, to your face - to see this person attack you, specifically, and have your first reaction be 'huh, I guess he's a reckless weirdo to the core???'
Incredible stuff.
And this part, too:
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He claims that Laios can't recognize anyone, that he's out of control. And yet, the Lion is the only person that gets eaten here. He is Laios' singular target.
Hell, Laios even specifically attacks one of the bodies that is actively hurting Chilchuck. I don't know if that was entirely intentional on Laios' part, but I do think it's notable.
The Lion torments Laios' friend, and when Laios does something that interrupts that action, the Lion reframes it as unhinged violence. I don't know, there's something here about the way that cruel people only talk about the things people do to resist them as violent, and ignore the violence that causes such resistance in the first place.
In any case, the main point is that the Lion insists on treating Laios like an unthinking animal during this fight, despite the fact that Laios is clearly trying to accomplish something here.
And what exactly is Laios trying to accomplish? Well, the Lion isn't entirely wrong. Laios is trying to eat something. He tells us as much.
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And truly, everything Laios does as a monster points to this. He had a goal. And he accomplished it.
Let me back up a moment. I need to explain smashing the barrier.
So, Laios first starts considering how to kill the Lion when he is confronted with the fact that his only other choice would be to kill Marcille. Immediately and entirely discarding that solution, because of course he does, he tries to wrap his head around what defeating the Lion would even look like.
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He clearly continues thinking about this, as a nearly identical conversation happens a few chapters later, when Laios is once again told that killing Marcille is the only way forward.
Only, this time, he's started to come up with an idea for how to do this impossible thing.
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Harkening all the way back to the Living Armor chapter, Laios draws on the same lesson - if the Lion has made itself part of the world, if it has made itself into something alive, that means he can kill it. And eat it.
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But there's an important extra detail to this. If he's going to try and kill (and eat) the Lion, he needs to strike when it’s vulnerable. He needs to strike when it's eating.
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This is why he smashes through the barrier. Again, nothing else he does as a monster really benefits the Lion. He doesn't attack anyone else. The only command he obeys is to smash the barrier. Because the Lion has to think he has won for Laios to be able to eat him.
Beat him. For Laios to be able to beat him.
The question of why Monster Laios wanted to eat the Lion is, I think, the most ambiguous part. Was he curious? Hungry? Did he fight for his own life, for his friends, or for all of humanity? Did he know how to win because he had planned everything from the start, or because he was driven by an unquenchable instinct to do whatever it took to survive?
I don't know that it is possible to say for sure. But I do know that the Lion underestimates Laios, through it all. He underestimates Laios as a human, and he underestimates Laios as a monster.
And in the end, after he is bested, even then I don't think the Lion ever gets Laios. I don't think he understands how much Laios means his words about the Lion being burdened by hunger...
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or what Laios cares about most...
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or what meaning there is in life, for him.
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So I don't buy what the Lion is selling about Laios, generally speaking. I don't buy that Laios didn't ever know what he was doing, and I don't buy that he was nothing more than a hungry beast.
Well. I mean. He was a hungry beast. But he was a more than that too. He was the Devourer of All Things Horrible. And he didn't just happen into that title by chance.
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mrsbarnesblog · 6 months
Text
you deserve the world
masterlist ko-fi ao3
College! Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You were in a relationship with a man who had never truly cared about you, but after catching him cheating on you at a friend's party, you eventually decided to end things with him. The good news was that there was always someone who wasn't going to let you go through it alone.
Word count: 4.6k
Warnings: toxic relationship, cheating, name calling, gaslighting, protective Bucky, feelings.
Author's note: college Bucky + some angst = my favorite combo. I already have a cute idea for the part 2 so stay tuned ☺️
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“And what about you, ma'am?” The waitress asked, looking at you. 
“Um–” 
“She’ll get a salad and a glass of water, thank you.” John interrupted you, not allowing you to choose for yourself. Everyone at the table went quiet, looking at you, and you felt the heat spreading on your cheeks. There was nothing new in the fact that John always decided for you, but no one from your friend really knew about that. 
You quickly nodded at the waitress with a polite smile and gave the menu back. When she left, you really hoped that this question wouldn't be discussed, but you were wrong. 
“What the fuck? You said that you were hungry. Why do you even listen to him?” Natasha, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table with Bucky, Steve, and Wanda, angrily looked at you. 
She was really protective over you, and she hated John. Natasha tried to convince you many times to break up with him, but every time you tried, he somehow managed to manipulate you to stay. And you hated yourself for being so weak. 
“Natasha, please, don't start it.” You begged, feeling that John was losing his temper. “I'm not hungry, I'm—”
“She’s on a diet, right, baby?” His fake smile made you almost want to cry, but you just nodded. Nat and Wanda rolled their eyes, not for the first time hearing that from your shitty boyfriend. Steve and Sam looked mostly disappointed or even concerned, but Bucky… Bucky looked furious. 
You weren't best friends. You hung out only when the team got together at the parties, and since John was extremely jealous, it had never been only the two of you. But you both felt something every time your eyes met or when you sat too close to each other. He always gave you that one-sided smile that made your knees weak and the plums of your hands sweaty. It seemed like John had always sensed that tension between you and did everything to ruin it, even fighting with Bucky a few times over it. Their enmity was unspoken, yet everyone on the team knew the real reason.
Bucky had a crush on you probably since the first day when you came to see the game, but no one on the team besides Steve, Sam, and Nat knew that. You had a boyfriend, so he had no place to ruin it. Well, that's what Bucky thought at first. But when you started spending more time with the team and he started seeing the real sides of your relationship, it made him want to just pull you out of there. 
You were so kind, and cute, and beautiful, so Bucky had to put effort into not staring at you like a creep. Everyone on the team adored you because you were nothing but sweet to them. But the person who was supposed to be your biggest supporter actually slowly ruined you. 
Bucky noticed the way your face dropped every time John ignored you and didn’t pay attention to your words. He was too busy chatting with someone on his phone or just casually didn't care and didn’t even try to hide it. Your eyes would flick between his face and the phone screen, and then you stopped talking and sat quietly, probably too deep in your thoughts. 
It really broke Bucky’s heart that you were taken for granted and that you weren't with the man who would give you the whole world without you even asking. And right now, he felt just a hot rage in his veins at the thought that John didn't care about your feelings; he was making decisions for you and convincing you that you needed to be skinnier. 
“Did you decide that?” Your eyes shot at Bucky, who was looking like he was about to punch somebody. His brows were slightly furrowed, his jaw tensed, and there was not a single hint of the playfulness that he always had.
“I know what's better for her, Barnes. She’s not yours, isn’t she?” He winked at Bucky and threw a hand over your shoulder, carelessly dragging you closer. You squeaked at the sudden movement and tried to push your boyfriend away, mumbling a quiet “stop”. 
“Oh, believe me, if she were mine, she wouldn’t try to push me away like that, Walker.” Bucky looked directly at you, making the weird feeling blossom in your stomach. The things that you were feeling for Bucky were wrong; you knew that. You had a boyfriend, and thinking about another man was basically cheating. 
But how could you not? 
He looked at you at every opportunity—you saw it even if you didn’t show it. Bucky was a charming man, a gentleman, with a beautiful face and a kind heart. Even though you weren’t so close, you were able to collect pieces of information from other guys, and you wanted to know him so badly, but it seemed like John felt something weird and forbade you to talk to him. 
Your heart told you otherwise, though. You felt a reaction in your body every time Bucky smiled or laughed, even not with you, when you accidentally touched his hand a few times, and when you caught his baby blue eyes in the room. 
It was never like that with John. John has been your first and only everything since high school, and after some time, it felt more like a routine to be together. He didn’t want to let you go, even though you suspected that he was cheating. You couldn’t say whether you loved him or not, but his usual coldness, carelessness, and annoyance when you were around made you think that you were the problem. 
You were not ready to admit that you often lay in bed before going to sleep, thinking about how your life would be if you dated Bucky. 
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There was more tension between John and Bucky than usual after that night. They even got into another fight in the field over nothing, and you couldn’t help but think that it was partly your fault. 
On Friday evening, there was a party at Bucky’s and Steve’s house. John was against you going there, and you got into another big argument over it, so he said that was not going to drive you there, and it was your own responsibility. Not that he usually gave you a ride somewhere; even on the rare occasions that were supposed to be a date, he went there in his car while you had to take a bus or a taxi. 
He will apologize later for everything he said to you, but he will still repeat it a few days later. Those emotional swings honestly drained you; you were sick of his behavior and disrespectful words and of the way he was treating you. But you still stayed for reasons that even you couldn’t name. 
Natasha, your usual lifesaver, picked you up despite your refusal, and after almost thirty minutes of driving, you pulled near the house with the loud music and a lot of people everywhere. 
Holding Natasha’s hand, you walked through the bunch of people dancing and drinking into the room where your group usually sits. Two large sofa’s and a few armchairs were filled with boys from the team, Wanda and Yelena; the coffee table in between them was almost breaking from the weight of the alcohol bottles. 
“Look who I got here.” Natasha slightly pushed you further into the room, and you followed her, still holding her hand, smiling and saying “hey” to everyone in the room. You definitely didn’t miss the way Bucky checked out your figure in a soft green dress. 
He was sitting next to Steve, holding a bottle of bear in his hand, and he was looking awfully attractive in the simple jeans and t-shirt. He also had that boyish smile, which made you feel weird. 
You were stuck on the coach between Natasha and Thor, who was laughing so hard that your entire body moved with him. Sam gave you a red cup with your favorite drink in it, and you sat comfortably laughing at the jokes with the group.
Even at parties, “Avengers” liked to hang out together, and with loud music and a lot of strangers in the house, it was fun and relaxing. People from your little circle came and went; some of them wanted to dance, some wanted to find a girl for the night, and when there were only your closest friends left, you remembered about John. It's already been half an hour since you came here, but you haven’t seen him. 
“Did you see John? He said that he'd be there.” 
“I saw him once, he should be somewhere here. Do you want me to find him?” Always cute and ready-to-help Thor looked at you with his kind puppy eyes and smiled.
“No, thanks, Thor. I’m just curious.” You waved your hand at him and soon forgot about your boyfriend, too interested in another playful argument between Sam and Bucky.
After another ten minutes, when your drinks finally started working, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom on the second floor. The boys didn’t let anyone besides your group go on the second floor, so as it seemed at first, the corridor was empty. You did what you needed to in the bathroom, and when you almost went down the stairs back to your friends, a weird noise caught your attention. 
You went in another direction, and around the corner, you saw something that you definitely didn’t expect. John was almost eating another girl’s face. Her legs were wrapped around his naked body, and his t-shirt was carelessly thrown on the floor. Your sudden gasp probably gave you away, because John immediately stopped and looked at you. 
Bucky had just finished another bottle of beer when strange noises came from the second floor, and you almost ran down the stairs in tears with John chasing after you. 
“Y/N, please, wait! That’s not what you think! I can explain!” John was struggling to fasten the belt on his pants and was half naked. The tall blond girl walked down the stairs, looked at you with a grin, and disappeared into the crowd. And then it hit Bucky. He cheated on you.
That motherfucker cheated on you.
Guys stood from their places, as if the same thought came to all of them at the same time. John grabbed your hand, not allowing you to leave the room. You tried to get away, but he brought your shaking form closer and looked almost as if he were truly sorry.
“C’mon, you know that I love you. It was just sex. Please, honey. Don’t be mad.” He spoke too softly. It was obviously so fake, and it made you want to vomit. You looked at John through tears. You tried to stop them, but they were just streaming down your face. The painful wound in your chest felt like you were suffocating.
You were breathing heavily, trying to control yourself and not make a scene. God, everyone could see you. Your closest friends were watching your interaction, which was so fucking humiliating that you wanted to flee right then and there.
Steve and Sam both held Bucky by his hands so he wouldn't interfere. You had to end it on your own, but Bucky was in such rage that he could’ve probably killed John.
“D-don’t touch me, please. I don’t want– I don’t want it, I’m sick of you, of this. I-I’m done.” You stuttered, pushing him away from you, but John refused to let you go. 
“Don’t you understand that you need me?!” As always, his behavior changed in a blink of an eye, and now, again, you were responsible for his actions. “It’s your fault. It wouldn’t have happened if you had given me what I needed… And can you stop fucking crying and put on a performance for everyone?" You shook your head to not let his words settle in, but you were already too hurt and broken to fight or stand up for yourself. Now you were blamed for your boyfriend’s cheating, and once again, he reminded you that your emotions were wrong. 
The whole team looked at how your posture changed, you made yourself seem smaller, and your head was low with eyes glued to the floor in shame. Everyone was ready to step in, but Natasha was already ahead of everyone. 
“I knew that I had to chop off your dick many years ago. You’re just using and manipulating her into thinking that she is the one to blame, while you are the piece of shit responsible for it.” Using the fact that Nat caught John’s attention, you ran past him back on the second floor, locking yourself in the bathroom.
As soon as you ran away, it became messy, with screams and almost a fight between Bucky and John. Sam and Steve weren’t able to hold him anymore. He was so pissed, ready to wipe off this asshole’s smirk for the way he talked to you. 
Bucky was able to throw a punch before his teammates dragged him away and held John by his hands too. 
“You’re trying too hard to get into her pants, Barnes. She’s not worth it.” John laughed, and Bucky tried to escape again, only to be stopped by Natasha, who got sick of this childish behavior. 
“James, go find her." She started throwing orders. “Boys, get the trash out of the house.” Her perfect red nail pointed at John behind her back. “And you, go fuck yourself. You’re not getting near her ever again, I promise you this.” 
“Are you sure?” Bucky furrowed, not sure how you would react to his company. 
“Yes. You know that you can help her. We both know that.” She licked her lips, stepping closer to Bucky. “But if you ever hurt her, I swear to God, it’ll be your last day on earth, Barnes.”
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You quietly slid down the wall, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle any sounds. Your heart was ripping apart, and you felt like you were going to faint. So stupid, so fucking stupid. The tears were rolling down your cheeks nonstop, and you just curled into yourself, crying and suffocating. It was probably your own fault that you hadn’t noticed everything earlier; it was obvious. John didn’t love you and didn’t care about you; he saw you as a possession and it made you sick thinking about every time he humiliated you.
It could be only a few minutes or a whole hour when you hear a soft nock on the door. Your whole body froze, waiting until the person went away. 
“Doll, it’s me.” Bucky. You felt the relief washing over your body, but you still refused to answer him or make any sound. “Doll, please, open the door. I know that you’re here. I just want to help you.” His calming and deep voice brought another wave of tears to your eyes. Bucky was always so gentle with you and it felt weird—you weren’t used to that treatment, especially from a man. 
You stayed quiet. Bucky tried to turn the handle on the door again, but it was closed, and you heard the muffled sound of his forehead touching the door. 
“Please, at least say something. Talk to me, Y/N. I need to know that you’re okay.” 
“Leave, Bucky.” You said between not stopping sobs. “I’ve already embarrassed myself enough.” 
Bucky's heart sank to his stomach from your words and the way you were crying there over the man who didn’t deserve a single drop of your tears. “Don’t say this, doll. The only person who embarrassed himself was Walker. You have nothing to be ashamed of, I promise. Just open the door, sweetheart.” You couldn’t resist anymore. And even though you hated the thought that Bucky would see you looking like this, you reached for the lock and opened it. 
He took a deep breath before stepping in and softly closing the door behind him. You looked so small, sitting on the floor in a ball, with your face hidden behind your hands and hair. Bucky kneeled in front of you, gently placing his hands on your wrists and pulling your hands away. He shook his head when you were avoiding his eyes and trying to stop crying, when your whole body was almost shivering with emotions and pain. 
Your eyes, cheeks, and nose were red, your face was wet with tears, and your mascara was slightly smudged.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He mumbled before stroking your hair with his left hand. Bucky’s movements were so slow and careful, as if he were trying not to scare you. “C’mere. And you shouldn't be sitting on the cold floor; you might get sick. ” Bucky himself sat on the floor near you before his other hand slipped under your legs and lifted you sideways onto his lap. 
When you felt two strong arms wrap around you, your body dissolved into his. Your face perfectly fit into the crook of Bucky’s neck, and you sobbed out loud. 
“Sh-h, that’s okay. You can cry if you want to, doll. Don’t hold it back. I’ve got you.” You shook your head, gripping his shirt in your fists. You tried to control yourself, but the way Bucky tried to calm you down and was so sweet made you even more emotional. 
You were crying, hidden between his neck and shoulder, while Bucky rocked you like a baby and kissed your head. His hands never left your body, creating a safe space and grounding you.
“I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid. It’s my fault that it happened. I should’ve left a long time ago. I don't—I don’t know how it got so bad.” Your voice was weak and you couldn’t stop crying as the images from the night flushed through your mind. “I’m sorry for ruining your night, Bucky.”
“No. Don’t ever apologize for things like this, doll. None of this was your fault, you hear me?” Bucky took a deep breath as the rage began to form in him towards the coward who made you so unsure of yourself. "You are the sweetest person I have ever met, and I swear everyone on the team adores you. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and I'm so sorry that it happened to you. But you should know that we’re all on your side. If you let us, we’ll make sure that John won’t bother you again, sweetheart.”
“You’re so sweet.” You smiled through tears, gripping his shirt harder.
“Because that’s what you deserve. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you.” He mumbled into your hair, but it didn’t respond. Now that John didn’t control you anymore, you just didn’t know what to say or how to feel about the warmth that Bucky’s presence and words had given you. 
Bucky sat there with you, probably for another ten minutes, while you were calming down and your tears were slowly ending. After your crying session, you just felt exhausted; your body was aching and your eyes felt so heavy that you almost felt asleep on Bucky’s firm chest. 
“Hey, doll, don’t fall asleep here.” He slightly pulled you away when he felt that your breath started slowing down, ready for sleep. Bucky held your face with his right hand and gently tried to wipe your mascara. “You’ll stay in my room, okay? I won’t let you drive home in a taxi like that, and everyone else here is drunk. But first, we should take off your makeup. 
“What? No, I won't sleep in your room, it’s your place.” The cutest little frown appeared on your face and Bucky bit his lip to not make a comment about that. He helped you get up, still having a firm hand on your lower back, and walked you to the sink. “Oh my god, I look horrifying.” 
“Actually, you’re really cute. But we should take off your makeup. You can’t sleep like that and your eyes will hurt in the morning.” Bucky stepped to the side and opened the drawer. “Here is everything Nat has. Is there anything to wash your face with?” He curiously examined the bottles, reading the labels and frowning at the unknown words. 
You couldn’t hold back a small laugh at the confusion on his face and reached to take the right one, squeezing some product on your hand. Bucky had a small smile on his face, noticing that he was able to make you forget about John, at least for a few minutes. “Can I help you?” 
“You don’t have to.” 
“I want to.” Not breaking eye contact, Bucky took a new clean towel, wetted it, and gently placed his left hand on your neck while the right one wiped your makeup off. 
You froze at your place, studying Bucky’s face. He was so concentrated on his task that he probably didn’t even notice you staring. Your heart was beating too fast, and your skin was burning under his touch. You craved him, only now understanding how much your body and soul needed him. 
“You look so pretty without makeup.” Bucky smiled at you, and you couldn’t hold your own smile from forming on your lips. “Wait a second.” He stormed out of the room and returned in less than a minute with one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. “You can wear it. Now finish here, change your clothes, and you can go to sleep, okay?” As soon as Bucky got a nod from you, he smiled, placed a light kiss on your forehead, and left you alone in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror with a smile on your face and butterflies in your stomach.
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Bucky’s clothes smelled amazing, just like he always did. You spend a good minute with your face buried in the t-shirt that he gave you before finally putting it on. You looked at yourself in a mirror, feeling relieved and kind of happy for the first time in a while, until your phone on the counter buzzed with messages and you saw that someone texted you several times. 
Your heart sank in your stomach when you unlocked the phone, and your eyes started quickly reading the messages from John. 
Where the fuck are you? 
Come back now, or you’ll regret it, Y/N. 
I saw how Barnes run after you
Are you fucking with him?
I knew that you were just a whore
Can’t even keep your legs close, can you?
He’ll just use you, that’s everything you're good for anyway
Always played hard to get with me, but you’re just like any other bitch
Are you going to answer me? 
You’re really pissing me off right now
“Doll?” After sending Nat a message that you were okay and that you were going to sleep in his room, Bucky knocked on the door because you were too silent there, but you didn’t answer him. “Is everything okay? Can I come in?” He leaned closer to the door and still heard nothing. 
Bucky slightly pushed the door, and the first thing that he saw was you in his clothes. He almost made a comment, until his eyes shifted to your wet, teary face. Your hand with the phone in it was slightly shaking, while your gaze was glued to the screen. You didn’t even notice Bucky’s presence until he stepped closer to you and forced you to look at him with a hand on your face. 
“Hey-hey-hey, what happened, sweetheart? I left you a few minutes ago, and everything was fine. What’s going on?” The concern in his voice made you want to cry even harder. You hesitated for a few seconds, wondering whether you should show Bucky the text messages. What if he thinks the same? What if John’s right, and that’s everything Bucky wanted from you too? 
But the way he was looking at you, so genuinely worried, wiping your tears once again, made you give up. 
As soon as the phone was turned towards Bucky, you saw the instant change of emotions on his face. His brows furrowed, the blue eyes that were soft and caring before narrowed, and his jaw clenched. Bucky was filled with so much anger that he was ready to go after your ex and beat him up. Such a sweet and cute thing as you did not deserve to be treated this way or to hear such words directed at you. But Bucky knew that it was the wrong time to show his emotions; the last thing he wanted to do was scare you, so he just swallowed his anger, took the phone out of your hands, and put it in his pocket. 
"Please don’t listen to him. Don’t listen to a single word he’s saying, Y/N.” Bucky pulled you into himself, and you once again melted under his touch. His firm chest and tight grip around your shivering body made you feel safe. “You’re the sweetest fucking person ever. You’re everything that any guy could ever dream about. You deserve the whole world to be gifted to you, doll. He knows that he lost the best girl and now wants to hurt your feelings and boost his own ego.” Bucky started stroking your hair while mumbling reassuring words into your ear. “I want you to be strong. I want you to see in yourself what I see in you. Promise me that you’ll try. And I promise that I’ll help you.” You nodded against Bucky’s chest, now too emotional about his words. “Now let’s get you to bed, that’s enough for today.”
Bucky led you to his room, which was dark with only one nightstand lamp on. You’ve been here several times at other parties, but you've never really had time to look around. It was so… Bucky? Dark and comfy, with random books laying here and there, two coffee mugs, and his uniform on the chair. 
“Can you lay with me? At least until I fall asleep.” You whispered as you sat at the edge of the bed. How could he say no to you when you looked at him with those eyes? 
You got under the blanket, already feeling like you were about to fall asleep. Eyes heavy, body exhausted from the stress and all of the tears you’d cried today. Bucky climbed near you, lifting one arm as a suggestion for you to hug him. And you didn’t waste a second. You got closer to him, perfectly fitting under his arm, and wrapped your own hand around his waist. Bucky hesitantly touched your fingers on his stomach with his free hand, but you just went in and interlaced them.
“Thank you for everything, Bucky.” You mumbled against his shoulder, barely keeping yourself awake. “I– I wish everything went differently. I like you, you know that? I always did. But now I don’t know what to do.” You nuzzled deeper into him, listening to his steady heartbeat. 
“Well, then I am happy to even have a small chance. Everyone knows that I go crazy about you. But we’ll talk about it tomorrow, sweetheart. Now sleep, you had a long day.”
“Mhm… Just don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.” Bucky kissed your head, listening to you fall asleep. The only thing that he could think about was how he was going to make you his and shower you with all the love you deserved.
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gremlingottoosilly · 6 days
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Bimbo!Reader who starts to fake date Loser König just to get the weirder men off her back, besides he's big, intimidating and strong too, he'll probably scare off anyone
Using Konig as your scary dog privilege was easy. He lives off scraps of your affection, never quite caring enough that you wouldn't give him the time of day if he wasn't so damn scary. He is a good boy, a polite and obedient boy - always coming if he is in town and you're bored, always bringing you something nice. He is tall and buff, has a body that looks pretty damn nice in compression shirts and loose pants. You pat his muscles and press little kisses to his biceps whenever you two are going to the gym together - you wanted him to scare away the creeps who stare at your ass whenever you do squats, and he just wanted to spend time with you doing something he likes. Hanging out with him is kinda nice - he would pay for your gym membership and only ask for occasional selfies if you're coming while he is on deployment, and he always has some advice if you want to improve your form, He is getting very flustered whenever you bend over in front of him, but at least you know he is harmless. Sick and obsessive kind of harmless, but your empty head doesn't really see the difference. You don't even notice the way he possessively wraps his hand around your waist whenever there is another guy around or how your panties and sports bras keep getting lost. Your head is too damn empty for your own good. You laugh when he asks if you want to sleep with him - you allow him to root into your thighs as you watch tiktoks or reels and then ask him if you should paint your nails pink or purple. He is too busy trying to git his cock between your soft thighs without cumming first few seconds. You hug him when he gives you thighs, and you're just dumb enough not to notice an obvious erection poking at your thigh. He is harmless, like a big dog that just learned how to bite everyone besides you - and you appreciate every second of having him around. You say that he is your boyfriend whenever your friends talk to you, and everyone is surprised - but you'd always act just a little bit mad that no one believes you...hey, he is literally your soulmate for real!! Konig dies a little every time you call him that, even as you laugh at the possibility of actually seriously dating the guy. But don't worry, he already bought the rings.
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ceesimz · 11 days
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Our Sun Is Setting
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TW: mentions of homophobia and grief for a parent. It's quite a heavy fic, keep that in mind.
Listened to Daniel Caesar's 'Never Enough' album throughout the process of writing this and the song 'Let Me Go' inspired this whole thing - hence the title.
"I told my Mami about you today."
You didn't think it was possible for a relatively normal, short sentence over the phone to make you feel sick to the pit of your stomach, but it did.
"Oh." That was all you managed.
Your mind was in overdrive as you stood in the middle of the grocery store, buying ingredients for the dinner you were preparing for later that evening when Alexia was going to come over. Any other person would have reacted better, wouldn't have been frozen to the tiles of the shop in the middle of the breakfast aisle, wouldn't have been on the brink of a panic attack from a simple statement.
"She was very happy. And she would like to meet you soon, whenever you like."
Another punch to the gut.
"She also teased me for talking about you so much. I couldn't stop myself." Alexia paired her words with a shy laugh.
The sound of it grounded you slightly as you moved out of the way of an old couple walking in your direction, but your head was still being insistently ruthless as you wandered mindlessly through the rest of the shop. Alexia was still talking over the line, seemingly not noticing your silence, but you couldn't work out what she was saying due to the unbearable ringing in your ears.
You were in shock.
"Are you still there?"
"Y-yeah, sorry. I think the signal went a bit weird, I didn't catch much of what you said." You reply in a shaking voice.
On the other side of the phone, Alexia frowns ever so slightly - she can almost sense something is wrong, but she can't quite figure out what or why. She hopes that when she sees you later, you are perhaps feeling better or if not, at least she's there for you.
"Okay cariño, would it be better if I left you to your shop?" She suggests, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel of her car where she was parked outside of the training complex before an afternoon training session.
"Yeah, probably. Sorry, I'll see you later."
And with that, you hung up.
As you went to slide your phone into your pocket with your shaking hands, you missed, causing it to clatter heavily against the tiles. It earned a few stares from the people around you, only intensifying the jittery dread that surged through you. Pins and needles encapsulated your body as you crouched down to pick up your now-smashed phone, but currently that was the last thing on your mind.
Alexia's statements circled relentlessly around your head - to literally anybody else in the world, hearing those words from someone they had were seeing would be enamouring and seen as a key, heart-warming milestone. But to you, it opened up a dark spot in your mind that you had shunned to the side for some amount of time. It seemed now was the right moment for that unidentifiable problem to break free from its shackles and make itself known, and you were terrified of what those repercussions would be.
You carried out the rest of your shop on autopilot, shoving a handful of notes into the cashier's hand before rushing out without a clue of how much you just gave them. For all you know, you could have massively overpaid them or robbed them in broad daylight. You were so out of touch with the world right now.
So much so, that you were unlocking the door to your apartment before you realised. How long did it take you to get home? Did your phone still work? What time is it? Did you walk, get a taxi, catch the bus, how did you get here? What did you even buy at the shop? Why won't this fucking door open-
A neighbour walked past hastily as you barged a shoulder against the door and almost crashed through it as it finally opened. You sent them an apologetic smile, though there was no doubt in your mind it was more of a manic and unnerving look than anything else, before slamming it shut behind you. The icing on the cake to this whole thing was the fact that the bottom of your shopping bag split open, scattering your groceries across the floor of the entryway. At least now you could see what you had bought.
Whether your legs failed you and buckled or you put yourself on the ground, you kneeled on the floor and gathered everything into your arms to transport it to the kitchen. It was a struggle, your trembling arms barely having the strength to hold themselves up, but you managed to dump your belongings on the kitchen side. Once you'd done that, you rested heavily against the counter, desperately trying to replenish the oxygen that had been stolen from your lungs some point along the way to this moment here.
What the fuck do you do now?
You turned to lean back against the counter and slowly slid down to the ground until you were sat on the floor, head back against the cupboard. There were too many conflicting thoughts and emotions rushing through you that all you could do was sit and stare. Feeling nothing but everything at the same time, thinking nothing but everything all at once.
Seeing Alexia tonight might tip you over the edge. You hope it doesn't end that way. You hope that her presence eases you. You hope she saves you from falling, sinking, spiralling into an irrevocable state of mind, whether she recognises that she's doing it or not. You hope, hope, hope.
Time seems to be a temporary concept for today, because before you've even had the chance to start preparing dinner for tonight, Alexia is at your door. Her voice calls out from behind it, asking if you're in there and if you're okay, because you've zoned out again. You're on the sofa, your cross-body purse still hanging off your shoulder, your jacket still zipped up to your chin, your shoes still on. Your groceries are still strewn on the kitchen counter, and the torn bag is still in the entry way.
"Amor, are you in there? Let me in." Alexia calls out, her voice tainted with concern.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm coming!" You jump up, kick your shoes off, throw your bag onto the small dining table, and open the door. She visibly deflates at the sight of you, her tense shoulders dropping, but her face contorts at your attire.
"Why do you have your chaqueta on?" She asks, and you're beyond grateful to hear it's said in an amused tone.
"Bit cold s'all. Come in." You're not cold. You live in Barcelona, and it's the middle of the spring.
You step to the side and she walks in with a tiny smile on her face. She's glad to be here, you realise. She seems to be in a light and happy mood, carrying no extra stress or other burdens, and, rather selfishly, you're glad.
"How was training?"
You plaster a smile on your face as she takes her shoes off and drops her bag beside them, turning to you and opening her arms. You walk into them with no hesitation, but the feeling isn't as relieving as you desired it to be.
"It was good. I did a amazing free-kick, I will show you the video." Alexia beams, and that does warm your heart somewhat. Her passion for her work, her career, her life, was forever an invigorating thing to witness. It's a shame you weren't in the right mood to appreciate it.
"That's great, Ale." You smile genuinely up at her, more than happy to return the soft kiss she offers.
It momentarily calms and heals a small part of you you'd been hoping she would subconsciously fix, but it wasn't enough and you recognised that straight away. You'd get on your knees, beg, and pray to any higher power that would listen to you just so you'd feel okay for one more day. Except, who do you pray to when you don't believe in God?
"What's that?" She points to the white plastic bag from earlier.
"Oh, the bag for the groceries ripped as soon as I walked in. Must have forgotten to pick it up." You shrug it off, wishing for her attention to be elsewhere for the time being. "I haven't started dinner yet, sorry."
"That's okay." She smiles, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly and kissing your cheek. "How was your day?"
Tough question.
"It was alright, haven't done much." You brush it off, taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen... where the whole area was still a state.
"Oh, what happened here?" Alexia frowns.
If it was just a few items, she wouldn't be so puzzled, but when a good portion of the food left out was fridge and freezer food? Strange.
"I... I, when the bag ripped before, a jar smashed by the door and, uh... I took a while cleaning it and forgot to put the rest of the stuff away." You ramble unusually quickly. It was a blatant lie, but she didn't need to know that.
Except, Alexia was an incredibly attentive person, and she knew straight away that something was amiss. The first sign was that, in her intelligent mind, she knew that theoretically if a jar filled were to smash by the front door, the white bag from earlier would have been covered in its contents - but that wasn't the case. The second sign: whenever you cleaned your apartment, you used a very strong smelling citrus scented spray - she often complained about it and nagged you to get one that smelt nicer. Your apartment didn't smell uncomfortably citrusy right now. Funny observation, sure, but these two pieces of seemingly inconspicuous evidence gave away the fact you weren't right. Oh, and your strange behaviour showcased on the phone earlier and a few moments ago didn't help your case either.
But, she chose not to pressure you about it yet. She wanted to wait until you perhaps opened up to her some point this evening. However, that didn't entirely stop her from speaking up.
"Ven aquí, amor." Alexia demands calmly, reaching a hand out to you. Suppressing a sigh, you take it, and she looks down at you with a pressing stare. "Answer me honestly. Are you okay?"
No.
"Yes, I'm okay. I'm fine, Ale, I am." You try to reassure her, squeezing her hand and smiling up at her.
"You promise?" Alexia raises her eyebrows and offers her pinky for you to seal your, rather untruthful, truth. "It's okay if something isn't right."
Pinky promises, as childish as they may come across to some, were never to be broken. Since the start of your relationship, they had been a thing that had been utilised by the both of you to ensure you are telling the truth. Alexia had broken one of her promises she had made to you before in the past, so why couldn't you do one in return? It's only fair, right? Relationships were meant to be equal after all.
"Promise." You smile again and raise your other hand to lock fingers with her. She smiles, though you can see she's not convinced, but nevertheless she kisses your knuckle.
"Can I help you cook?"
"I'm meant to be cooking for you. And you are a bit of a control freak in the kitchen." You tease, desperately trying to steer the night away from the morose direction it could go down, and instead towards the light-hearted, content way you so needed.
"I think I am just a control freak in general." She smirks at you before turning to put away the disregarded shopping. You would also happily accept that direction too, you supposed. "Venga, I am so hungry, I skipped lunch at training for a meeting and now I regret it."
To your relief, you both make peaceful conversation once you've told her what you planned on cooking, and it's so peacefully domestic as you do your individual tasks beside each other. Every so often, Alexia will joke and bump her hip into yours as you giggle, and this version of your girlfriend is exactly what you needed. For a moment, you feel the cloud over your head slither away, until the topic you wanted to avoid came up.
"So, what do you think of me telling my Mami about us? You never gave me a response on call earlier."
You freeze momentarily, Alexia thankfully not noticing from the corner of her eye. With a subtle clearing of your throat, you continue cutting up the chilli peppers on the board in front of you, but your now shaking hands pose as a slight kitchen hazard considering the sharp knife you were wielding.
"I, yeah, it's nice. Nice that you, um... did that." You stutter out anxiously, nausea settling cruelly in the pit of your stomach. Alexia takes in your reaction and laughs under her breath, turning briefly to leave a kiss on your forehead.
"No need to be nervous, amor. We have been together for many months now, it was due to happen soon. And M-"
"Ow- fuck!" You gasp sharply, dropping the knife immediately and cradling your hand as blood began dripping from the middle joint of your index finger.
"Woah, amor, what happened?" Alexia winces at the sight, grabbing a few squares of kitchen paper and pressing it against your cut.
"I- my hand slipped and I obviously cut myself." You grimace, eyes tightly shut to rid yourself of the sight. "It burns too, fuck."
Alexia knew you didn't handle blood too well, so she turned you away from the scene and wrapped one arm around your back, rubbing up and down comfortingly whilst she still applied pressure to the cut.
"It's okay, it's okay, it hurts more because of the chilli. Take some breaths, vale?" You nod hastily, not really realising your cheeks had puffed out as you held your breath. Alexia watches your face closely, eyes still closed as you took deep breaths to calm yourself. "You're doing good, bebita. Keep doing that, so good. Let's relax a bit, hm? We should sit down in case you get lightheaded."
The last sentence is her thinking out loud as she started guiding you towards one of the chairs at the dining table. Resting one elbow on the table whilst Alexia continued to hold your wounded hand, you lay your forehead against your uninjured hand as Alexia crouched beside you. Your joined hands lay in your lap as you calmed down, or at least tried to.
To Alexia, it would appear that you were just mentally recovering from the shock of the incident. But actually, you were trying to dispel the unsuspected horror that filled you to the brim at Alexia's earlier reminder.
I told my Mami about you today. She wants to meet you.
That line inevitably meant you had to tell your family too. Except, you couldn't. There was no way you would, no way you could, not without facing realities you had pressed down far into unreachable and forgettable depths of your mind. It was all too much, it was simply not a possibility for you. You knew what it would lead to, and you weren't ready for that.
For the past months you'd been with Alexia and the time you spent getting to know her before that, you had mostly lived in a bubble that dissociated you from the broken, cracked, ruined, utterly destroyed parts of your brain. It had been perfect so far, and you'd be fucking damned to leave that bubble now. But perhaps it was too late and the damage had been done long before Alexia said what she said earlier, maybe that darkness just needed a catalyst before it submerged you in its wake.
"Amor? Hey, come back." One of Alexia's hands lightly patted your cheek to bring you back into the room. "You scared me there. Your breathing got really bad and you were in a... a weird daze. I was talking but you weren't reacting or anything. Are you back now?"
You nodded wordlessly at her, still not entirely taking in what she was saying.
"The blood... freaked me out." You rasp breathlessly, shaking your head a little to rid the glaze over your vision.
"That's okay. Do you feel a little dizzy? I can get you something to help that. Clear your head maybe." You nod again, and she gently lets go of your hand. Cold shivers immediately burst through at the lost contact, but you had to get over yourself and get used to it.
Cautiously, you take the tissue off of your hand and inspect the damage. It doesn't seem deep enough for stitches, which instantly fills you with relief. If you weren't already in a state of intense dismay already, a trip to the hospital would cause a hurricane of emotions that left a lasting imprint on everything and everyone around.
"Here, some apple juice. To get your blood sugar back." Alexia places a mug of apple juice in front of you and notices your now bare hand. "Oof, amor, that looks painful. I'm not sure if that may need a doct-"
"No! No doctors, no hospital. It doesn't need stitches, it's fine." You rush out, eyes wide in what Alexia guesses is fear as you look down at where she's crouched again. "Please, no hospital. It just needs to be cleaned and wrapped up."
"Okay, if you are sure." Alexia replies, nudging the cup closer to you. "Drink that and I will get the first aid kit."
You do as she says, drinking the half-empty cup of apple juice whilst she searches through the kitchen for the green box of medical supplies. Her eyes hardly leave your slumped form at the table, filled with worry for you. Things weren't adding up now, it was obvious, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could ignore it.
A part of her feels afraid to push you; emotionally she wants the best for you and if subtly, or not so subtly, urging you to do that works then she'll do it, but intellectually she senses a deep, internalised issue that could rip through you if handled incorrectly. It's not up to her to cause that. So she asks a question that's so layered it flattens all remaining atmosphere in the room.
"Cariño, how do you feel now?" She pretends to busy herself with organising the already packed box of medical necessities you kept.
"Better." Phyiscally true, but mentally wrong.
"Why don't we order something for dinner instead?"
As if you weren't filled with disconcertion already, that suggestion signs, seals, and stamps the envelope set to be sent to the fucking psyche ward for your admission. Were you so inadequate now that you couldn't even cook a simple meal? Apparently so.
"O-Okay."
Alexia frowns and comes back over with alcohol wipes, antiseptic cream, and a box of plasters, placing her items on the table and gently tapping your chin to get you to look up at her.
"I love you, you know that?"
The words fell from her lips before she could stop them. Alexia maybe wasn't the most emotionally helpful person ever but she sure did try. She thought her saying that would comfort at least a small part of you, but she couldn't be more wrong. It planted the seed of an unforgivable idea in your head.
The realisation of what you had to do poured over you like cold water, washing away every ounce of the little remaining hope and positivity you had. A feeling akin to mourning settled in your heart, accompanied by the debilitating weight of this twisted entity in your mind seeping into your bones. Your body strained under the heaviness of it all, unable to capacitate for the burden of living life like this, only confirming that the thing you must do was your only solution. Your lower lip quivered as the thought consumed you, the devil in your head chanting it over and over and over and o-
"I do know." Your lips tug into a smile but your throat bobs to conceal the sobs bubbling at the surface. "I know that. I love you too."
For the remaining time you had with her, you would make sure she knew that too.
"Let's get you cleaned up, hm?"
It's silent between you both as she delicately cleans the wound before applying cream and wrapping it up in bandages. It's silent as she leads you to the sofa, silent as she ordered your meal for you from one of the common takeaways you always got together. It's silent as you wait for it to come. It's less silent when Alexia turns on Netflix and opts for a new TV show for you both to watch together. It's still fairly silent even as you sit beside her, back stiff and straight beside the woman whose heart you were soon to break.
Alexia has never loathed quietness more than she does right now. It was an occurrence she valued at any other point in her life; watching football, reading, studying a game, relaxing in a post-match bath, going on a solitary walk to gain some peace of mind. But here, in this moment beside you, her skin crawls at the unbearable stillness of the room. Sure, she did enjoy silence with you too, but it felt like the unavoidable elephant in the room was stomping on her heart with every beat of her heart. There was a hidden agenda in the belly of the beast attacking her, and for some reason it felt like she was running out of time to put out the fire.
Her spiralling was interrupted when the buzzer of your apartment rang through the room, letting you know there was someone outside of the apartment complex without a fob to enter the building. Alexia reluctantly gets up from the sofa to let them in and hovers by the door to wait for the delivery driver to find your flat. She keeps her eyes on you, subtly watching you attentively, but even if she stood face-to-face with you, noses touching and breaths mingling, you wouldn't have a clue she was there. Your senses were incredibly warped and you were so far detached from reality, it felt like you and Alexia were two worlds apart.
What's at stake right now is something that's much bigger than the both of you. The dynamic around you may as well have a 'fragile: handle with care' sticker slapped on it, except, even that wouldn't have stopped the hands of the puppets controlling the world from acting so cruelly. You'd taken constant blows for quite some time now with no respite. Just as you started to recover from one punch, another would come to hit you square in the face.
"Hey." Alexia lightly knocks on your forehead with her knuckle. Every concerned glance from the woman in front of you felt like a jab at your body, slowly working you down until you gave in. "You are here, but you are not here."
You blink gormlessly up at her, your shoulders lifting in a careless shrug before you took back control of your mind.
"Food's here?" You force a smile, taking the paper bag from her hand and walking on shaking legs to the kitchen. You get plates and cutlery out, dishing up your meals before joining Alexia back on the couch, the taller woman now the one seemingly stuck in her head. "Ale, your meal."
"Ah, thank you." She leans in to quickly kiss your cheek when you sit beside her again.
The blonde woman has one more trick up her sleeve to try and bring you out of your shell, and it's one she hardly ever played.
Immediately, she begins to babble on about her day and her teammates and her family and whatever new antics Mapi and the youngsters had got up to, going abnormally overboard with the amount of anecdotes she was spewing out. Everybody knew Alexia was not a talkative person, and she only ever acted like this when she was in a rare giddy mood. And that really was rare.
The Alexia on display so far tonight was not in a giddy mood. She was happy, of course she was, but factor in the concern she'd shown for you tonight and the giddiness she had not portrayed at all even recently, something was off. It threw you completely off-kilter, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why she was doing this.
"I'll tell my Dad about us tomorrow." You blurted out, interrupting another of her rambles. It's kind of the truth, not all of it, and it's not the biggest decision you've made for yourself tonight, but you owed her something at least for putting up with you.
"Que?" She frowns. Out of all things she'd expected you to say tonight, that wasn't one of them.
"You're talking a lot because you want to know why I'm acting weird. It's because I'm thinking about telling my Dad about us, I'm scared to do it but you told Eli so I'll tell my Dad." You explained, pushing your food around your plate as Alexia processes your words for a moment.
"You don't have to do that if you don't want to. I don't mind, I know things haven't been... haven't been great between you both since your Mu-"
"Okay, but he's still my Dad." You cut her off again. You're not in the mood to discuss what she was about to bring up.
"You don't owe him anything, amor. Sure, he's your Dad, but you said it yourself only a few weeks ago; he's an idiot. No one should treat their child the way he's treated you after they've just lost their Mami."
There. She said it anyway.
"Alexia, I know you're just trying to stick up for me, but please don't go there. This has nothing to do with my Mum." Another partial lie.
The subconscious, realistic part of you knows every issue you've had in the last two years has everything to do with... her. But right now, the impulsive side that has been at the forefront of your mind ever since it happened wants to blame everything on the world around you and not your flaws that you've ignored all this time. Anyone could see that your refusal to sit with your grief and just feel was your Achilles' heel.
"Okay. I'm sorry for mentioning it. But I am absolutely on your side, amor, I'm always on your side. So if you want to tell your Dad, tell him. If you want me there next to you or if you want me out of the country whilst you do it, then I'll do it. I will do whatever you want me to." Alexia tells you, her voice pleading as earnest swirled around the eyes that bore down into you.
Well, you thought, that's good to know.
"Thank you." You smile ever so slightly, dropping your fork and placing a hand on her leg. You squeeze her knee three times, one more chance for her to understand the love you held for her.
"De nada, amor. Now eat up, please."
The pair of you spent the rest of the evening delicately dancing around the untamed elephant from earlier whose patience was wearing thin at the prospect of going entirely avoided for the night. Conversation topics were kept light, finally giving you a brief reprieve from the onslaught of your mind, and Alexia kept her arms tight as they wrapped around you. It was as if with each breath you let out or with each twitch of your body, she held on tighter and tighter, every hint of movement from you a reminder of your presence and how much she ineffably adored you.
Yet, the sun began to set, indicating that it was almost time for Alexia to leave for the night. She had to get up early tomorrow whilst you had the day off, and initially Alexia always agreed that when this was the case, you should sleep separately so that you could rest. However, as she collected her bag and slipped on her shoes, she kept her movements purposely slow to delay her departure. The last thing she wanted to do was leave you alone.
"Are you sure you will be okay tonight?" Alexia sighs, a reluctant hand on the door handle.
"I'll be okay." You answer simply, hesitating for a moment to decide on your goodbye gesture, before settling for a lone kiss on the cheek.
"Call me, immediately, if that changes. If you wake up in the night and need me, I will be straight here. If you call me in the middle of training, I will be straight here. Please. Don't suffer on your own."
Oh Alexia. If only you weren't so late.
"Everything will be okay, Ale." You tell her, desperately trying to disguise the emotion threatening to break through. "Te veo pronto, sí?"
"Sí. I love you." Alexia smiles, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead, then opening the door.
"I know." Is all you can say now to that declaration. And fuck, if Alexia hadn't felt so uneasy in her life after that.
Somehow, you managed to sleep that night. Maybe it was your body allowing you to build up all the strength you need for the day ahead, because your life was about to be irreversibly changed. And the worst was yet to come.
"Hi Dad." You murmur quietly from your place in the corner of your sofa, legs tucked underneath you as you pitifully hold onto a cushion for comfort.
"Well, it's been a while since I've heard from you." The man on the other side of the phone chuckles spitefully. "Remembered who I was again?"
"Hm. How have you been?" The best way to deal with such a man was to ignore his behaviour, in the hopes he dropped the act when you didn't give a reaction. Perhaps you underestimated him.
"That's a loaded question, you know that. It's all everyone asks nowadays and I'm fucking sick of it." He grumbled, and for the first time in a while it sounded like his anger wasn't directed at you.
"I do know that." You stated.
"So why ask then? Still as dense as ever, I see."
Okay, well, clearly you judged him too soon.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." You mumble insecurely, a frown settling on your face as you try to hold back the emotions you knew would spill out sooner rather than later.
"Don't lie to me." He snapped through gritted teeth. "You couldn't give a shit about me if your life depended on it. Be honest and tell me what you want, I have better things to do than talk to you."
"I... I have a girlfriend, Dad. Here in Barcelona, I've met someone." You reveal with a hint of a smile on your face.
All morning, you'd been in over your head on whether to tell him about Alexia. Part of you thought it was futile since you had already decided on your future with her, or rather, the lack thereof. But the naïve and childish part of you painfully thought he could be happy. That wasn't a concept this man had understood as of late, so it was a wonder why you'd thought he'd be happy for you. Especially given his latest behaviour, and his long-standing opinion on your sexuality. If only your Mother was here.
"Wow. Because I couldn't give you the life you want after your Mum left-" he could never say the true reason for her absence out loud, "-you look for it elsewhere? What did I tell you about doing that? A home can't be a person, kiddo, you need to stop looking for that. Your Mother wasn't home, I'm not home, this new 'girlfriend' isn't home, a person cannot be a fucking home! You're just desperate to fill in the love that's absent in the death of your Mother. Get a fucking grip of yourself and get over it, this 'girlfriend' business. You know your Mum would never have stood for this."
Silence.
Of all the words in the world, across all languages and cultures, over all periods of time, there was only one description to be used of how you felt right now. In your little flat in the heart of Barcelona, cowering in the corner of the couch, you felt suffocated. Any semblance of clarity, peace, hope, love - suffocated, by the words of your father, by the events that had changed you for the worse throughout your life, by the burden of simply just living.
Except, the words 'living' and 'simply' could never be used in the same sentence, because that wasn't a possibility. Every aspect of human nature wasn't simple, that's the beauty in it. The thousands of tiny mechanical functions in your body that allow you to breathe, the hundreds of muscles exerting themselves daily for one small step, the twitches and spasms of nerve endings to feel just a little alive. And despite it only requiring thirteen miniscule muscles to smile compared to forty-seven to frown, the latter felt so much easier. The weight of a smile had never seemed so damning, so suffocating.
The promise of life was a unique one, that's common knowledge and yes, life is beautiful, but any glorification of the struggle of living was inefficacious, nothing could extinguish the flame of the fire inside of your mind that was already uncontrollably burning through your self-preservation. No promise of light one day shining in your world again was worth it; you were merely a shadow of the people you loved.
"Okay Dad." You choke out. Even uttering one word was such a fucking exhausting challenge. "I... I planned on breaking up with her anyway. I think I want to come home."
You expected the feeling of verbalising your plans to be freeing, but the gravity of what you were going to do grounded you so humbly it almost almost stopped your heart entirely.
"Wow, I mean, if I had known that you would listen to my opinion and follow my advice so quick, I would have given it more often." He laughed maliciously, his way of celebrating your fall from grace.
"Can I come home?" You can't stop yourself in time from asking that question in such a begging tone. Another victory for him.
"I don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart. If you're that desperate, maybe stay with your grandparents. Perhaps they'll want you." He sighed as he said it as if he was in a rush, acting like speaking to his daughter was such a chore. "Listen kiddo, you done now? I've gotta go."
"Yep, I'm done. Can I see you if I come home?" The question was paired with a hasty swipe away of tears as if the man hundreds of miles away could see them.
"Oh honey. You fascinate me. You're at danger of almost being interesting now, you know that?" He laughed once more at his own words before hanging up.
Silence again. Such a plaguing thing.
The weight of the conversation you just had collapsed down on you, a whirlwind of emotions surging through you as a result of it. Each beat of your heart served as a reminder of every word spat at you from the man you once thought held all the love you had to give, the thump against your chest echoing his disappointment and distaste for you. A daughter's love for their father was undoubtedly one of the most dangerous things to themselves, proving that point yourself as you mentally scrambled to find a way to mend the fractured bond, yet each time coming up empty, feeling powerless and minute in the face of your father's disappointment. Every response from that man carved deep wounds of guilt and regret into every crevice of your mind.
Behind a facade of stoicism, a torrent of emotions fulminated throughout your body - a spiteful mix of every insecurity, every doubt, every shattered dream, it all coming together to form the final piece of the puzzle that was needed to make the decision to break out of your life. There was no other choice.
Outwardly, there wasn't a hint of such breakage shown anywhere on your body. And that's how it had to be, that's how you had to be. Completely numb to it all until you had escaped this turmoil.
By 2pm, everything was different.
Flight booked. Every suitcase you owned bursting at the seams, waiting by the door. Apartment tenancy ripped up. Your resignation handed in to your work. Every bit of furniture, every little trinket, all of it ready to be left behind. Despite it all, the most heartbreaking symbol of your new start, was the cardboard box of Alexia's belongings sat in the passenger seat of your car as you drove, waiting to be dropped off discreetly outside her door.
Your life was the perfect image to sum up how quick things can change. Twenty-four hours ago, you were walking to the local supermarket to pick up the stuff to make a perfect meal for you and your girlfriend to eat and have a quiet, relaxed evening together. Now? You were driving to said girlfriend's apartment, equipped with the words to tear your lives apart.
Oh, how things change.
In the blink of an eye, you were parked up outside her apartment building. You had the key to her apartment in your hand and the code to enter the complex memorised for one more use. You failed to notice her car parked in her usual space as you walked through the car park. The heaviness of the box was nothing compared to the heaviness in your chest of what you were about to do.
Ears ringing, eyes blurred with unshed tears, throat burning and constricted, your bones aching under the weight of purely just existing, all of it immensely overwhelming. But you were numb still. Numb and out of tune with your feelings, because you had to be. Otherwise, all of this couldn't happen. There was no way any of this would be possible if you just listened to what your heart wanted. No, that devil on your shoulder had gotten its way once again.
"Oh, what are you doing here?"
Fuck.
You had truly done it this time, because here Alexia was, standing in the doorway of her apartment as you froze at the sight of her.
"What are you doing here?" You ask frantically, desperately praying for her attention to be anywhere but the box of her stuff in your arms.
"Well, this is my apartment, amor. I just got back from training but I left my phone in my car." Alexia answers, an eyebrow raised down at you. Of course she'd catch on that something was wrong. She always did. It was one of the things you loved her for. "What's this? Are you a delivery driver now?"
She laughs to herself as she says it, taking the box from your arms and placing it on the floor. You're still stuck to the spot, eyes wide in fear at what she was about to find, and your heart thumps angrily against your chest in protest, trying to get you to react in some way. But it's too late. Alexia has already opened the box and began to read the letter in there before you could stop her.
The smile on her face immediately dissipates at the first line.
"To Ale, I'm sorry... what do you mean?" She asks, glancing up at you briefly before continuing to read it.
That's when your body finally decides to react. You slowly back away from the woman in front of you, but Alexia grabs your wrist tightly to stop you from running away.
"No, you will not leave my sight right now. Explain this fucking letter, what is going on?" Alexia attempts to sound commanding, but there's a certain glisten to her eyes and a lump in her throat. "What is going on? Tell me, now, please."
"I... I'm sorry, Alexia." You croak out, rushing to wipe the tears already falling with the sleeve of your sweater. "I am sorry, you have to know that."
"Sorry about what!?" Alexia shouts, then takes a deep breath to compose herself momentarily. "Come inside, sit down, and please can we talk?"
"Everything I have to say is in the letter, Alexia, I-"
"No, no it is not. This letter is hardly a whole page. You've come to my apartment with a box of my stuff and a letter that starts with the words 'I'm sorry', I'm not letting you leave." Alexia says, and you have no choice but to listen to her. However, she softens for a moment, and the lost look on her face tugs on every one of your heart strings. She takes one of your hands and squeezes it three times, resulting in another stream of tears from yourself. "Please. Whatever is going on, give us a chance to solve it. I need you to explain what's happened so I can help you, amor. Please."
You relent easily, forever at her mercy, and follow her into her apartment. She leaves the stacked box by the front door, completely unbothered by it - in fact, she doesn't ever want to look inside it if this conversation goes the way she thinks it'll go. She's kicking herself mentally, her mind already skimming over every interaction she's had with you recently, desperately trying to plot a point in time where your attitude had changed. It's easy for her to do so, the moment jumps out almost immediately. If only she hadn't been so scared, so cautious, maybe she could have solved this before it was too late.
"What do you want me to say, Ale?" You sigh exasperatedly as you sit on the edge of her sofa, eyes fixated on your fidgeting hands.
"What do I want you to say? Amor, I want you to be honest and explain why you're sorry, why you've come over with all my stuff, why you've written me this letter. It's all come out of nowhere, I have no idea what's going on and I just want you to clue me in. Yesterday we were laughing together and having a nice evening, and now you're... I don't even want to say it." Alexia laughs nervously as she speaks, her shoulder stuck up in a shrug as her hands gesture eratically.
"It's okay, I'll say it for you." Your false facade takes over, body armoured with a hard exterior. "I'm leaving, Ale. I'm leaving Barcelona, leaving Spain."
To hear you say those words were perhaps the greatest pain Alexia has ever felt in her life.
"Leaving... leaving me?" She whispers quietly, the question punctuated with a gulp as she swallows her emotions.
She sounds eerily similar to a young, innocent child who's just lost all they've ever known. It makes you wonder for a brief second if you're a sick individual for causing such pain, but you shun those thoughts away for a later date, because right now you need all the feigned courage you can muster up.
"Yes." The ease with which you say it sends shivers down her spine. It's the hardest sentence you've ever had to say, and it's just one word - once more an example of how life can never be conformed to simplicity.
"Why are you being so cold? This is not the woman I know." Alexia practically pleads, inching closer to you on the sofa. Her hands land on your knees, but you're too far in to back out now.
"I don't know who I am anymore, Alexia. I need time and space to figure my shit out, that's what is best for me right now and that's why I have to go." She scoffs in your face once you've finished, and that's the moment this conversation goes far more downhill you could have expected.
"What about me? What about what's best for me? You're leaving me behind!"
"Leaving you behind? You're acting like a sad dog that I've just abandoned in the middle of nowhere! You were perfectly fine in your life, your very successful and established life might I add, before I came along and you'll be better off without me!" You snap back. This is not the direction you thought this would go. "Why can't you accept the fact I need to leave?"
"Because I fucking love you! I love you and I don't want to live a life that doesn't have you in it! But maybe I should grow out of that opinion since it seems so easy for you to turn off your feelings for me, so easy for you to be so selfish at the flick of a switch."
"Selfish? I'm being selfish?" You repeat her words back to her with an outraged laughter that sounds all too familiar to you. Is this who you've turned into? "I'm being selfish for choosing what's best for me? I'm being selfish for wanting to take time on my own to figure my life out? I'm being selfish for wanting to take time to grieve my own, dead Mother?"
Alexia's face falls as soon as those words come out of your mouth. Never in her life had a sentence caused such a visceral reaction from her because it feels like someone's just plunged a dagger right into her heart. She'd been too panicked, too focused, on her own feelings to even wonder why you had made this decision. She had been the selfish one for jumping to conclusions and now her lethal arguments had completely tanked the conversation. The possibility that there was no coming back from her vicious assumptions instilled a deeper, darker fear in her than she had ever felt in her life.
"No, no, I didn't-" She begins to dig herself out of the hole she finds herself in, but you're in no mood to entertain her begging.
"Good one. Really funny, that." You stand up and go to walk away, but not without one last attempt from Alexia to stop you.
"I didn't mean that, I swear, I am just so confused and scared and-"
"Do you not think I'm scared too? This will be the second time I've uprooted my life and regretted everything I have ever done. I'm terrified to leave, terrified to find out what's waiting for me at home, terrified to figure maybe this is all I am and that there's no better side of myself to find." Your voice trembles with a mix of fear and fury. "I've realised that throughout our whole relationship, from the moment I stepped into this country, I've been someone that I'm not. Losing my Mum was losing the biggest part of myself, and everything I've done from then 'til now has just been a poor attempt at filling in the hole in my heart-"
"S-so, what, you're saying our relationship was fake?" Alexia splutters out. You pause at her words, completely caught off-guard by her utterly stupid and inept fight back.
"That's what you caught from all that?" You ask, dumbfounded. "Right. Because it's always about you, Alexia, isn't it? This whole conversation has just been you talking about yourself. Have you even properly heard what I've said? Have you read more than the first line of my letter?" The guilty look on her face says it all. "That's what I thought."
"But I... I know what it's like to lose a parent, amor, I can help you!"
"Wow. For the sake of us both, don't go there, Alexia. Don't." You fix her a warning glare, shaking your arm out of the grasp of her hand.
"You can't leave. You can't, I won't let you. It's not right." She speaks sternly again now, a final plea for your relationship.
"Oh, fuck off Alexia. You have the emotional maturity of a teenage boy. I'm done with this now. Good luck at the World Cup this summer."
You walk out and slam her door shut without looking back.
Alexia's life had just taken a nosedive, because a breakup was absolutely not on her agenda for the day. The hand that had grabbed your arm earlier tingled with the stain of your touch and certain areas of the room were tainted by the lingering scent of your perfume. One conversation and you had vanished from her life - an excruciating result caused by her own incompetency to act like a decent human being.
For some time after you had left, she had been stuck rooted to her sofa, her mental temporarily ruined by the events of the day. A traumatic event had occurred, this was a natural reaction, to go into shock. To be so damaged by something that all she could do was sit and be consciously unconscious to the world around her until her body and mind could recover.
There was one phrase that ran circles around her mind. It isn't fair. What that defiance was directed at, she wasn't so sure yet. At first it had been you, but as the clouds cleared a little, it was obvious that it wasn't. Despite her words earlier and how accusing they came out, she didn't blame you. Not one bit. No, her anger was aimed at the so called 'fate' bullshit that everyone championed so often. How can people praise such a phenomenon when it had brought so much evil into people's lives? It felt like everything came at the price of something, and that's not fair.
For Alexia? It felt like her career came with the price of her Father. Everything she had done was because of him, and he couldn't even be here to see it. No, because fate or destiny or whatever other nickname it had, had taken that opportunity away from her. It isn't fair. For you? If anyone asked you, in the future when you're in your rocking chair, a knitted blanket draped over you and the waves of the ocean lapping away in front of your eyes, you'd say that in this period of time you had gained the world for the price of your soul. This dichotomy of good and evil sometimes felt like it wasn't worth the fight because in cases like this, it just wasn't fair.
The realisation of it all left a sour taste in Alexia's mouth. But something seemed to snap in her, some higher power finally giving her a backbone, and she sprung into action. You didn't deserve any of the stuff that had happened to you, and she sure as hell wasn't going to be another name on that list. One of her worst fears, a view shared by all of humanity, was to remember someone she loved in such a gut-wrenchingly awful way that it tarnished her entire memory of them. That's something she couldn't do with you. If you were to end this, it had to be on good terms.
So, she grabbed her keys and headed down to her car, where her phone still was. Alexia was a determined woman; when she put her mind to something, she got it done. This would be no different.
Call after call, after call, after call, came through on your phone from the one woman you probably least expected. There was only so long you could hold her off because, after all, you were once in a relationship with the woman, meaning you got a front row seat to her persistance.
"Hi, uh, Alexia. What do you want?" You say when you answer, finally.
"We have to talk more." Alexia rushes out quickly, for lack of better words and composure.
"I don't know if I want that after what happened earlier." You state in a defensive tone. But secretly, you craved nothing more.
"I know, and I am so so sorry for all that. It was so selfish and awful of me, I regretted every word that came out of my mouth the second I said it. I just... can we talk again? Please?" She begs, her hand fidgeting against the steering wheel of her car as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. "I would hate myself if I didn't at least try for this, amor, let me try."
"The decision is final, Ale, you can't change it. I'm sorry. You said yesterday that you would do whatever I wanted you to do. Well, this is what I need you to do, Alexia. I need you to let me go."
"Okay." Alexia squeezes her eyes shut, tears spilling out the corners, and her clenched fist comes to rest against her forehead. "Can I see you one more time? So I can properly apologise? I have no other intentions than that, I promise. I just... I can't remember you that way. I can't remember us in the way we left it. It doesn't give us as people any respect and it does not do justice to the beauty of our relationship."
That was the tipping point for you. There's the woman you love.
"Okay." You smile and sit up in your bed where you previously lay in a cocoon of your own pity. "How about we meet on neutral grounds this time?"
"Let's do that." Alexia responds, and you can hear the smile in her voice.
Some time later, you found yourself walking along the promenade of the beach, looking for where Alexia said she was seated on one of the benches. It was a chilly evening with no help from the sea, so you had your hands tucked into your coat pockets and your chin hidden under the zip of your coat. Alexia had spotted you long ago, a content smile on her face at the all too familiar sight of you and your distaste for the cold. You recognise her soon after, taking a deep breath before approaching her.
"Hi." You mumble, muffled by your jacket and the wind whipping around you. Alexia hears it of course.
"Hi. Sit down, please?" Alexia taps her hand on the wooden slats of the bench beside her, and you quickly follow suit. "I, uh... got you this."
She hands over a takeaway cup of hot chocolate. Your favourite.
"Thank you. Something to keep my hands warm." You say, happy to see her laugh quietly and nod.
"Exactly why I got it."
The pair of you sit in silence for a while, encapsulated by the serenity of the sky and the elegance of the ocean. Strangely, you realise, the two things resemble you and Alexia. Two things of beauty that never quite meet, never quite mend, just a parallel that reflects each other. You can't tell if that's a horrifying allusion or a calming one.
"So, what's this then, a... a post-mortem of our relationship?" You joke, giggling when Alexia scrunches her nose at the suggestion.
"I mean... you could say that." She shudders as she says it, not quite at peace with the new revelation. She's not sure she ever will be.
"I have to go, Alexia. I... it's so hard leaving you behind. It's the hardest decision I've ever made, but it's one I have to make. I hope you know that."
"I do. I do know that. I want you to know I understand. I'll never be... content with it, but... it's a necessary evil." Alexia has her eyes cast down on her coffee cup, fiddling with the lid. You notice and take hold of one of her hands, intertwining your fingers perhaps for one final time.
"It is. I've got no energy to fight anymore. I need to sit with my emotions and all that shit," You pause as you sigh dramatically, making her laugh once more. "So that I can figure out who I am after all this. Doing that whilst in a relationship isn't fair on either of us. It'll only lead to something more soul destroying, no matter how hard this conversation is."
"I know." Alexia purses her lips and nods, finding the strength to look at you. A genuine smile breaks out onto her face. "I had a feeling something was wrong a little while ago. I guess I'm just... angry. That I can't solve it."
"I'm angry that I can't solve it." You repeat, a sad smile on your face. "There's just a lot wrong with me, I think. And I can't burden you with it all. I have a lot of baggage I drag along and there's an awful lot of cracks in my mind-"
"There's cracks in everything, amor, that's how the light shines in."
You had half a mind to berate her for interrupting you again, but you find yourself at a loss for words. Why were you leaving this woman again?
"I'll value you forever, Ale. Nothing could make me change that, even if we left things at what happened before. You're the most astounding person I've ever met, and even when I'm breaking your heart, you still treat me better than anyone else. If we forget what happened at your apartment." You tease, the both of you chuckling lightly.
"It's hard to hate you when you're breaking my heart so gently." Alexia states. "I'll always love you. It's probably not the right thing to say but it's the truth."
"No, I... I'll always love you too." You respond, absolutely certain. Despite the predicament you both find yourselves in, Alexia finds every bit of relief and closure she could ever need in that one simple sentence.
"When do you... when do you leave?" She asks with a sniffle.
"I fly out later tonight." You answer quietly.
"Will you come back one day?" It's the one thing she knows she probably shouldn't say, but she can't resist. She has to know.
"I don't know, to be honest." She turns away and nods slowly. You squeeze her hands three times.
"If you do, will you let me know?"
You can't promise her that, and she knows it.
"I will." You smile softly up at her.
You both fall into silence once more. This one feels a little less suffocating than those of the past. There's still so much more to say, but as your head falls to rest on Alexia's shoulder and you both look out at the view that had been the background of your relationship, neither of you can name a reason to interrupt the peace that's settled. It's perhaps more peace than either of you had felt in a long time.
The thing is, about the ocean and the sky, is that they do meet. They're one and the same in their own essence, and in the distance, they do eventually meet. And the sun will rise again. Two inevitable occurrences that form at the hands of a little thing called fate. Or destiny. Or whatever it is.
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enhafilthandfiction · 8 months
Text
I'm not a Perv, just Crushing on you - Yang Jungwon ☆
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A/N : Here is the ask for this post. I love this idea lmao had to turn it into a fic! Tbh it's probably one of my favourite fics 🤭🤭
Summary : Your brother's best friend might seem like a pervert, but he's not. He just likes you a little too much not to look down your shirt. What happens when he gets jealous of a guy you flirted with at your family's get together party?
Pairing : BrothersBestFriend!Junwon X Fem!Reader
Warnings : Shy Jungwon and reader, mentions of Jungwon being slightly pervy, teasing, first shared kiss, Confession from Jungwon, groping, unprotected sex, Jungwon unzipping reader's dress, grinding, slight fingering, cumming inside, slight pillow talk? and hints of another round at the end. Enjoy ;)
Word Count : 2.5K Words
Masterlist
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Jungwon didn't expect you to be here. Not at a stupid annual family get together party. He's been forced to attend to this party all these years yet he's never seen you around. How come you're attending now? All of a sudden? Maybe this party wasn't as bad after all.
He eyes you from the distance. You were his best friend's sister, the girl that he happens to have a crush on. The first time he saw you was at your house, the first time he came over to game with your brother. Your older brother, Sunghoon, had mentioned you before, but when Jungwon saw you for the first time- fuck, he wasn't even focused on the game anymore.
You were everything he'd ever dreamed of. Cute and shy with blushed cheeks as you introduced yourself. Voice delicate and soft, eyelashes batting up at him. He knew you were going to be the death of him.
That day he kept getting excuses. "Uh Sung, may I use the restroom?" he had asked, hoping to bump into you in the corridors or something. With the go ahead of your brother, he'd made it out of the room and was left alone to wander, luckily finding your room on his first try.
He was also pretty shy himself, gently opening your door pretending he was lost. "Uh h-hi, I got lost tryna find the bathroom" he blurts out under his breath catching your attention. You look up and smile, getting off your bed and leading him to the bathroom. That's when he thanked you and a little conversation sparked. Who knew that wouldn't be the only conversation between the two of you?
Jungwon knew it was bad. Against the bro-code or whatever. But he didn't care. He had to have you. The next day he was brave enough to text you, easily finding you from your brother's 'following list' on insta. You were delighted as you accepted his follow request and headed to the messages section to find that he'd sent you a message.
From then, he had started hitting on you, hinting his crush on you and trying to get closer but still keeping it lowkey to your brother. All these months he'd kept it all inside of him because he wasn't sure if you fancied him back and feared that you would tell you brother.
You never really seemed to lead him on; until summer. Without no school he started coming over way more than usual. And you started liking him. You've started noticing how cute he looked with messy hair after he's crashed your home couch or how he bit his lower lip in concentration as he tried to beat your brother in Mario Cart.
You started wearing low cut tops around him just to show off your cleavage or shorter shorts just so that your ass hangs out a little. It was driving Jungwon insane. You new it. He would only take one glance at you and look away, cheeks flushed as he swallows.
But he was a slight pervert too. You'd catch him look your way at some point, then look away real quick, hoping you didn't notice. But you did. You have been all along. You were finally understanding all those texts from him. He had been hitting on you.
Which is why now, after hearing you brother say that he's going to meet up with Jungwon at this boring party, you weren't going to miss the opportunity. You put on your favourite dress and put down your hair and got ready for the party. Which is why now
He eyes you from the distance. He notices what you wore and wonders if you wore that dress just for him. He notices your gorgeous smile and he smiles too, until he sees why you're smiling.
Kim Jong-fucking-hoo. That dude from school. He was in Jungwon's class the past years and he's always been a bully. You shouldn't be talking to him. Mainly because you should be talking to Jungwon but also because Jonghoo is a bad influence.
You notice Jungwon from the corner of your eye and as you look to the side you offer him a little smile, only to turn back to the other guy. Jungwon wonders what he should do. He knows you're teasing him by the way you keep glancing at him but he's not sure if he should approach you.
That's until you place your arm on Jonghoo's biceps, laughing about something that wasn't exactly funny. Jungwon looses it. He makes his way over to you both and snatches you away from that jerk.
"She's my girlfriend" is the only excuse Jungwon brings up when the other dude complains when he takes you away. His grip on your hand is strong as he leads you up the strairs, not really sure where he's going.
"Woah woah, slow down Won" he loves it when you call him that. "Where are we going?" you ask, eyes wide "Also, I'm not your girlfriend!". He sighs and walks you into the nearest room he finds which happens to be someone's bedroom. He locks the door behind you two and faces you.
"Why were you teasing me?" he asked you eyebrows furrowed. Before you can say anything he cuts you off "Don't pretend you weren't. You have been all this time. The shirts and the shorts and, and the texts-"
You look down almost in shame but then remember that he's been noticing and looking this whole time. "So you are a little bit perverted huh? If you weren't you wouldn't be looking at my shirts and shorts all the time" you accused crossing your arms.
He sighs to himself and without thinking he just says what he has to say "I'm not a pervert y/n, I just kinda.. like you" he blurts out with difficulty. You almost think he's messing around until he says it again. "I mean, you've probably noticed I've been hitting on you all this time so it shouldn't be a surpris-"
You cut him off, pressing your lips onto his and pushing him up against the wall. Your arms move all over him, making sure it's not a dream. He kisses you back eagerly after he gets over the little shock.
He pulls away for a quick second "Wait, so you like me back?" he ask out of breath. You nod and desperately connect again, your lips on his. This time he places his hands on your hips and flips you, so that you're the one against the wall. You smile into the kiss already enjoying this new side of him.
You place your hands on his biceps and feel how firm they are. Who would've thought that your brother's shy best friend was buff? As your mind started wondering what he could do to you with his strength, he places his hands right below your ass, picking you up.
You wrap your legs around his waist and as if he read your mind, he walks you to the bed. He chuckles as he places you down on it gently, and as you're settling in he takes off his shirt. A new chuckle leaves his lips as he sees you staring, but he doesn't want to embarrass you.
He climbs onto the bed atop of you and decides to kiss you again. During the kiss, he grabs your hand and places it somewhere near his abs. When you pull away for breath he sits up on his knees, your hand still against his abs. "You can touch, you know?" he smiles, loving the way you're so mesmerized by his abs. Guess the gym with Sunghoon was worth it.
You catch him staring at the cleavage of the dress, almost undressing you with his eyes. "Here I'll take it off" you say, offering a little smile. You get off the bed but as you stand you realise you won't be able to reach the zipper yourself.
"Uhh, mind if you unzip me?" you ask shyly, awkwardly waiting for him to unzip your dress. His face brightens at your request. He gets behind you and runs his hands along your back before finding the little zipper, lowering it slowly.
Once unzipped, he places his hands into the dress, around your waist. You let the straps of the dress fall from your shoulders, the garment finally falling to the floor at your ankles.
You let your intrusive thoughts win as you take a step back and angle your ass out, subtly grinding on him. "Fuck" is all he can mumble under his breath before grinding back into you, his hands on your hips, fucking your clothed pussy.
"P-please Won, need you i-inside" you whine. He already felt good clothed, just imagine how he'd feel deep inside you. He obliges, with his hands still on your hips, he turns around, making you rest your hands on the mattress.
With just your hands at the edge of the bed supporting you, you were at his mercy. He leans down, his chest against your back, pecking the back of your neck with little kisses. Then when he actually realises this is about to happen he realises that he doesn't have any rubbers on him.
"Uh y/n, I wasn't really prepared and I uh- I don't have a condom on me" he says shamefully. You just wriggle your ass against him teasingly.
"It's fine, I wanted you to cum inside anyway" you admit, making him curse under his breath. He could've sworn he felt his dick twitch at your statement.
Without thinking twice, he slid down his pants along with his underwear, his cock springing up almost against his abdomen. You couldn't help but turn around to take a look, your gaze making him blush. You were right, a pretty boy must have a pretty cock.
"Shit, you're so big" you compliment "Can't wait to have it in me" you giggle as you notice it twitch. He breathes in, his face feeling too warm. When you turn back around and wriggle your ass again, he knows he shouldn't waste more time.
He presses two of his fingers against your clit circling around before sliding down your lips, rubbing you over your soaked panties. The way you squirm around makes him want more, suddenly sliding your panties to the side so he could really admire your glistening core.
"You're so fucking wet" he curses under his breath when he lets his fingers ghost over your now-bare pussy. And you were wet, drenched actually. You were so wet for him that it felt like you were menstruating or something. But it was only arousal for him.
He experimentally dipped one of his fingers into you, wanting to see how tight you actually were. He sucked in a breath as he realised you're way tighter than he had imagined. Impatient, he pulled his fingers out gently, bringing them to his mouth before sucking them clean.
"You taste so good" he notes, licking your arousal off his fingers. "If I wasn't so desperate to fuck you I'd eat you out right now" but he was too needy at the moment and his dick almost started hurting with neglect.
"Ready?"
"Mhm" you hum back, mentally preparing yourself to finally take your brother's best friend after all this time.
He breathes in as he moves your panties to the side, giving himself a few strokes before pushing his red tip into your entrance. Even that was already big enough for you, already clenching around the little he gave you.
"Stop clenching like that y/n or I'll cum" he warned, not wanting to ruin it for both of you. You tried your best to just relax and take all of him, shutting your eyes tight at the slight sting of him pushing inside.
It's not like you were a virgin or anything, but he was probably the biggest you've ever taken so far. You sigh out in union as he finally stills inside you, letting you adjust to his size a little bit before starting to actually fuck you.
You were making it a little difficult for him to stay still, your cunt squeezing him like it has its own mind. "C-Can I please move?" he asks, hoping you'd give him the green light.
"P-please" you plead, squeezing around him one more time. He grips your hips tightly, starting to fuck into you. His eyes shut tightly as he gets lost in the way you feel. Fuck, this was a million times better than his stupid fist.
"Mm, you, you feel s-so good around me" he stutters in pleasure, the pressure on his dick making it difficult for him to speak. He tried to calm himself down, not wanting to cum too quick and ruin it for the both of you. But with the way you kept squeezing him in, gripping him like a vice, it was almost impossible.
His hips start snapping against yours, the sound of skin slapping echoing in the room for a few moments. "A-ah Won, fucking me so good" you praise, trying your best to speak. He was just so deep in you, and so so close.
He dipped his head forward, lips pressing kissing along your back to the back of your neck, making you moan out for him. You could feel him squeeze your hips as you clenched around him, trying to ground himself.
"Shit Y/n, I-I'm close" he warned, almost embarrassed at how fast he's cumming,
But you weren't so far behind either. "S-same" you manages out, vision hazy as your orgasm approached you. His brows furrowed in focus, picking up his pace a little and chasing his orgasm.
When he felt right at the edge, he placed his fingers on your clit, wanting to cum together. With just a few triggering rubs on your clit, you were clenching around him, your arms giving out as you creamed all over his cock.
With a few more of your squeezes he was cumming too, hot spurts of his release filling you up. All he could do was curse under his breath before pulling out gently and laying beside you breathlessly.
You rolled onto your back, your arms now touching. You had already regained your breath a little, having finished before him. "You okay Won?" you asked, checking up on him. But he wasn't quite back yet. He interlaced his pinky finger to yours to show you that he's heard you, before sighing out.
His eyes suddenly open and he turns to his side, facing you. "How was it? Did you feel good?" he asked, wanting to make sure you're satisfied.
"Amazing actually" you replied, smiling to yourself.
He sighed contently and closed his eyes again until you speak once more. "I can still feel your cum inside me" you mumble, feeling it trickle out of your hole.
"Fuck, don't say things like that or you'll make me pop another boner" he warns.
"Maybe I want that" you smile cheekily. "How about we go shower?" you ask hopefully, an evil grin on your face.
"Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to get another boner"
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Thankyou for reading to the end! I hope you enjoyed it :D Have a good day/night and remember that ily! <333
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punkshort · 2 months
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somewhere to run | 12. the trial pt.1
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Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader
Chapter Summary: Madeline preps you for the first day of the trial and shares a surprise witness being called to Patrick's defense, and Patrick requests to speak to you unexpectedly.
Chapter Warnings: language, smut (MDNI 18+), phone sex, m and f masturbation, dirty talk, mother issues (could be perceived as parental emotional abuse, and probably is), possessive!joel, recounting of previous DV and SA
WC: 7.2K
A/N: If anything in this chapter jumps out as you like 'I don't think that's how the law works', just move past it. I had Google and a dream.
Series Masterlist
The flickering florescent lights from the grocery store were starting to give you a headache as you slowly made your way up and down the aisles, occasionally stopping to grab a bag of chips or some mac and cheese. It was late. The store was quiet. You were supposed to be buying things to keep in your hotel room when you got to Austin, but you could hardly focus. You had the weekend to pack, buy supplies, and check into your room before meeting with Madeline on Monday. She was planning on using most of the day to prepare you for the trial, which was scheduled to start first thing Tuesday morning, and your nerves were a mess. And to make matters worse, Joel wouldn't be able to get to Austin until the morning of the trial.
The one silver lining was your divorce. Madeline felt confident after speaking to his lawyer that Patrick would be signing the papers this week. The cynical part of you wondered if there was a catch because Patrick was never one to take things lying down, but you tried to push it out of your mind. Instead, you focused on the variety of microwavable popcorn in front of you. Butter, lightly salted, movie theater... would you even notice much of a difference? You stepped forward to grab the first box you saw when another person unexpectedly walked right into you. You had been so lost in your own thoughts, you didn't even hear someone else coming down the aisle.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," you began. When you looked up to meet their eyes, the polite smile you had forced across your face immediately fell.
"Nikki, hi," you said, taking a small step back towards your cart. "My fault, I wasn't paying attention."
She tossed you a thin smile and not so subtly eyed you up and down.
"Haven't seen you in a while. Read anything good recently?" she asked icily, and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes.
"Not really. I haven't had much time," you told her, averting your gaze down the empty aisle.
"Oh, that's right. I heard you're getting a divorce," she said with a little pout, and you nodded as the heat began to creep up your chest. "Gotta make sure all those papers are signed before you go jumping into someone else's bed, right?"
"Excuse me?" you sputtered, lips parting in surprise. You thought she would have been a little more subtle than that.
"I hope you at least made sure he was worth it before leaving your husband for him, because woman to woman, I gotta warn you... it's nothing to write home about," she told you with a wink. You frowned and took another step back.
"I'm not leaving my husband because of Joel-"
"Oh, no, of course not!" she said cheerily.
"N-no, really, nothing's going on-"
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," she whispered, giving you one more fake smile before turning on her heel and waltzing down the aisle, leaving you in shock.
"Jesus Christ," you muttered to yourself as you absentmindedly rubbed your eyes. Angrily, you reached out and snatched the box of popcorn before turning your cart in the opposite direction.
You hated the idea of someone in this small town having it out for you. She had been swaying the entire female population to turn on you just because she went on a couple dates with Joel and she figured out he had feelings for you, which was hardly your fault. But you thanked your lucky stars she didn't seem to know just how close you and Joel really were, because if she did, there was no doubt in your mind she would have spread that news like wildfire.
Impulsivity won and you swung your cart down the candy aisle, throwing far too many items into your basket.
To hell with Nikki. She had no idea what you were going through and you didn't have time for her high-school bullshit, so you forced yourself to move past it. Besides, you had much more important things to worry about. Like if you should buy Reese's or Snickers.
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"I hate all my clothes."
"C'mon, they can't be that bad," Joel's voice filtered through your phone. You tapped the speakerphone button and dropped it onto your bed in order to free up both your hands, then held up two ugly blouses against your chest while you looked in the mirror.
"They really are," you told him, scrunching up your nose. "But Madeline told me if I wore stuff like this, it would look more sympathetic to a jury. Like I'm some poor, modest housewife in need of saving," you said with a roll of your eyes.
"Well, if Maddy told you to wear somethin' specific, you should listen to her. She knows what she's doin'. I've known her a long time, this isn't her first rodeo."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," you grumbled, picking up a couple of skirts that, in your opinion, were far too long and didn't make you feel very confident.
"You look beautiful in anything," he said, his voice dropping an octave lower.
"Thanks, but you're biased," you teased, and you heard a soft chuckle float through the speaker.
"Yeah, maybe," he agreed. There was a small pause as you continued to sift through your clothes, then he asked, "are you tryin' anythin' on right now?"
"No, once at the store was plenty," you huffed, then began folding the skirts up to place them in the bottom of your suitcase.
There was another pause before he spoke again.
"Then what are you wearin'?"
Your hands stilled and you sucked in a breath when you finally realized what he had been hinting at the past few minutes. Glancing down, you grimaced at your favorite pair of stained sweatpants and a tank top that had fraying straps, but you refused to throw it away because it made you feel skinny.
"A tank top," you finally answered, leaving out the part about your ratty old sweatpants.
"Mm, the white one?"
"Yes," you replied, your pulse already thrumming steadily in your throat at the line of questioning.
"Wish I was there with you," he said, his voice low just in case Sarah could hear from her bedroom. "I can see right through that top, drives me fuckin' crazy."
Glancing in the mirror, you realized he was right. You could see the outline of your nipples clear as day in the right lighting.
"Joel, is this a good idea?" you asked, but found yourself flopping down on your bed anyway next to your phone, your fingers dancing at your waistband.
"You're stressed, right?" he asked, his voice a little breathless now and you knew he must have been stroking himself. You've done this dance too many times.
"Yes," you whispered.
"Lemme help you relax, then."
You chewed on your lower lip as you stared up at your ceiling. You knew doing this with him complicated things and you were supposed to be able to take the stand in a few days and honestly say you weren't in a relationship with Joel, but the lines were too blurred and at this point, you had no idea how you would answer that question.
Then again, what difference would one more time make?
"Okay."
"Good girl," he murmured, and you felt yourself flutter at the praise. "Where are you right now?"
"I'm laying in bed," you told him, closing your eyes so you could focus just on his voice.
"And are you touchin' yourself?"
"No," you said, taking a deep breath. "But I want to." You heard him utter a soft groan.
"Go ahead. Just one finger and I want you to tell me how wet you are."
Slipping your hand under your waistband, you did as you were told, choosing the tip of your middle finger to slide through your folds and prod gently at your entrance.
"So wet," you murmured, then teased yourself again, collecting the arousal pooling there. "All wet because of you, Joel," you added breathily.
"Fuck, I wish I was there," he whispered again, and you slowly pushed your middle finger inside with a moan.
"W-what would you do?" you stammered as you felt the tension begin to build, a warm heat sparking low in your belly.
"I'd taste you first," he said lowly. "Only got to do it once, been dreamin' of doin' it again. You taste so fuckin' good, d'ya know that?" His accent deepened the more aroused he became, and it made your heart skip a beat.
"You're really good at it," you mumbled into the phone, your finger curling inside you, that one spot just out of reach.
"Tell me how much you liked it," he rasped, and a little groan slipped past your lips, your finger still pumping in and out.
"Loved it," you moaned, and you heard his heavy breathing now as he listened to you intently. "F-felt so good. God, that tongue... my thighs burned the next day from your beard. Felt it all night at work... thought about you s-so much. Fuck, Joel, I need more," you whined, your back arching pathetically.
"Add another finger and play with your clit, baby," he whispered, and you thought you could hear him fucking his fist on the other end, but his heavy pants drowned out the noise. You did as he said, gasping in relief at the extra stimulation while your legs began to shake.
"Joel-" you whimpered, but he cut you off.
"When this is all over, I'm gonna wake you up every mornin' with my mouth between your legs," he said with a grunt. "Would'ya like that? Hm? You want my tongue inside that tight little pussy? Want me to suck on your clit til you can't remember your name?"
"Oh, fuck, Joel, I-I think I'm gonna come," you cried out softly, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your finger rubbed fast little circles over your clit, your hips rocking against the heel of your hand as you chased your release.
"Go ahead, lemme hear you. Say my name, baby," he panted, his voice cracking, and you knew he was close. "Tell me - shit - tell me I'm the only man who's ever made you come."
And you did just that.
You fell over the edge, his name tumbling from your mouth over and over as you soaked your own hand, and once you got your bearings, you moaned about how good he made you feel, how no one else could ever compare, how you couldn't wait until he was in your bed again because your own fingers no longer satisfied you now that you've had him. You kept talking until you heard a sharp intake of breath and a low, muffled groan on the other end of the line, leaving each of you quietly panting for air.
"Feel better?" he asked after a few minutes, and even though he couldn't see you, you smirked.
"Yes," you whispered. You could hear him shifting around in his bed, his sheets bunching up and the springs on his mattress squeaked. "I miss you," you added sadly, thinking about the one night you got to sleep in his bed. How comfortable you felt. How at ease it made you feel, and he wasn't even in the bed with you. Just being around him was all it took.
"Me, too. We're so close, baby. Just a few more days. A week, tops."
His words instilled a newfound vigor in you. The fear and anxiety you felt about the trial temporarily disappeared and instead, you felt powerful. In charge. Confident. And eager to take your life back.
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Monday
"Have you heard from any of the other women?" you asked Madeline hopefully, and she gave you a quick shake of her head.
"Not yet. I'm sorry," she replied, knowing you were all crossing your fingers that some of the women Joel talked to in Philadelphia would change their minds and come forward, but as hard as he tried to convince them, they were all too scared to say something, putting you back at square one. He had high hopes for one girl in particular, Nina, but so far she had refused to answer his or Madeline's calls and time was running out. "Don't worry, hun. We still have all the evidence on our side. We have the medical records, I can prove years of abuse with that and testimony from the people you put us in contact with. I am confident we will win, regardless of the other victims," she told you, looking you dead in the eye, and you believed her.
"Okay," you replied, taking a deep breath and nodding your head. "And again, I'm sorry I couldn't get anywhere with my mom. Do you think we'll still do okay without her?"
Madeline sat back in her chair and slid her glasses off, holding them gently in her hands while giving you a look across her desk that made your stomach twist.
She had bad news.
"We would do just fine without her, but I found out this morning that she was subpoenaed by the defense."
You stared at her, not quite understanding what you were hearing.
"What does that mean?" you finally asked, and although you had an idea, you needed her to say it.
"She agreed to speak on Patrick's behalf."
Tears sprung up in your eyes but you quickly wiped them away, refusing to allow your mother to cause you any more pain. Before you could say anything, Madeline spoke up again.
"Don't let it upset you. They might think they're making a power move, but I'll destroy her on the stand, mark my words. It will only help our case and paint the picture of a lifetime of abuse," she told you, putting her glasses back on before looking back down at the file in front of her. You hadn't ever considered your relationship with your mother as abusive before. You just assumed most girls had problems with their mothers growing up. But if she was willing to help your husband over her own daughter, essentially supporting everything Patrick has done to you, then 'abusive' was really the only word you could use at that point to describe your relationship.
"Okay, what else," you asked hurriedly, looking down at your hands folded on your lap.
"Well since we are already on the shitty news portion of the day, I do have one more thing I need to mention, and before I tell you, just know you can do absolutely whatever you want, okay? Do not feel pressured to go through with it-"
"Just say it," you told her, and she took a brief pause before continuing.
"Patrick asked to speak to you before the trial. He's holding the divorce papers as a hostage. Says he will sign them if you speak to him."
Your eyes shot up to meet hers in shock.
That was not something you were expecting to hear.
"W-why would he want to talk to me?" you stammered, and you could feel your heart beginning to pound louder in your chest, the fear and anxiety quickly taking hold yet again, just like it always did when it came to Patrick.
"My guess? He probably wants to convince you to drop the charges in exchange for a divorce. And that is something we are not going to do, understand me?" Madeline said, narrowing her eyes at you. "If my hunch is correct, he's scared. He knows he's going to lose and he is desperate. We do not need him to play nice here. I can get a judge to grant an annulment if he won't sign, it will just prolong everything a little more, but the end result will be the same."
The idea of your divorce taking even longer made your blood boil. You wanted to be with Joel. You wanted this to be over. It was only supposed to be a few more days... a week, tops.
Madeline could tell you were spiraling because she put her pen down and stood up from her chair.
"You don't have to talk to him. You are under no obligation to hear him out. We can just go through with everything the way we planned-"
"I'll talk to him," you said quietly.
"I have to give you my honest opinion here. I don't think it's a good idea."
"I'm not going to drop the charges, but... I don't know. Maybe I can convince him this is over. And if not, I'll just get up and leave," you told her firmly, and she examined you carefully before sighing.
"Alright. I'll contact his attorney and set something up in the morning. If you change your mind, you let me know. Night or day, five minutes before you walk into that room, it doesn't matter, okay? You don't have to do this."
"I know," you said, "I want to."
Madeline spent the rest of the day briefing you on what to expect for the trial. After opening statements, Madeline would argue your case with the evidence she collected and the witnesses she subpoenaed, then Patrick's lawyer would have the opportunity to cross examine and afterwards, it would be their turn to defend Patrick with their own witnesses before closing statements and deliberation. Madeline guessed the whole thing would take two or three days at the most, and that gave you some relief. No matter what happened, this would be over by the end of the week.
"I'll call you to the stand last," Madeline said. "It's best if your testimony is freshest for the jury, especially right before the defense states their case."
"Okay. And what do I do when I'm up there? Should I look at the jury or the judge, or just you?"
"Look wherever you feel comfortable, but don't offer any extra information outside of the question being asked. We'll rehearse the questions I'm going to ask before you leave today, and when it comes time for the defense to cross examine, give as little information as possible. Yes or no answers. And they'll try to get you upset - don't let them. That's important, okay?"
"Yes," you said with a nod. "I understand."
After you ran through the questions, Madeline sent you back to your hotel room with the list for you to review and practice on your own, but your head was pounding by the end of the day. Your eyes burned and your mind was racing and all you wanted to do was sleep, but your body wouldn't let you. You ended up pacing around your room and trying not to let your anxiety about seeing Patrick in the morning torment you. You had just found a mindless cooking competition show to put on to help distract you when your phone pinged next to you on the nightstand.
Joel: All ready for tomorrow?
You: I think so, but I'm nervous. Can't sleep.
Pausing for a moment, you added another text.
You: I'm meeting with Patrick in the morning before it starts.
It took less than two minutes for your phone to ring.
"What d'you mean? Why're you meetin' with him?" Joel's voice asked aggressively the moment you answered the call.
"He's holding out signing the papers until he speaks to me," you explained. "He says he'll sign them if I talk to him. I figured there's no harm, he can't hurt me-"
"No harm?!" Joel exclaimed, and you quickly stopped talking. "All he does is harm! The fuck are you thinkin'?" he asked, sounding less angry and more upset now.
"Madeline said it'll take longer to get a divorce if he refuses to sign. I just want this over with, Joel!" you said, your voice beginning to break. "I don't want to wait a few more weeks or months. I'm fucking done! And if listening to whatever he has to say for twenty minutes gets him to sign the goddamn papers, then I'll do it! Because I can't do this anymore!" you sobbed into the phone, the tears you fought to hold back all day finally coming to the surface.
"Okay, okay, calm down," he said soothingly, and you took a few shaky breaths in. He waited until your breathing steadied before speaking again. "What time are you supposed to see him?"
"8:30," you said, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand.
"Alright, I'll be there," he said. "Just in case. I wanna be there."
"You can't come in the room with me, Joel."
"You can't go in alone," he argued.
"Madeline said the conference room they booked has a door with a window. You can both watch from the hall."
He grumbled to himself on the other end and you waited, chewing on your lower lip nervously, for him to say something.
"One wrong move and I'm puttin' his head through the fuckin' wall," he muttered.
"That wouldn't exactly help your lawsuit," you reminded him.
"You let me worry 'bout that," he said, and you yawned. He must have heard you because his voice softened. "You gotta get some sleep. Big day tomorrow."
"I know," you replied, and although you felt like you wouldn't get much restful sleep, your eyelids were still getting heavy.
"I'll be there bright and early, alright? And I'm stayin' til it's over."
"What about Sarah?" you asked sleepily.
"She's stayin' at a friend's house. Couldn't be more excited about it. Practically kickin' me out," he said with a chuckle.
You laughed as you stared blankly at the TV, watching some poor girl cry when her crème brûlée burnt. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."
Joel bit his tongue on the other end of the call, holding back the words he really wanted to say but knew it wasn't the right time. Instead, he said "good night, baby. See you in the mornin'."
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Tuesday
As expected, you tossed and turned all night. It was clear as day when you caught your reflection in the mirror and winced at what you saw. The bags under your bloodshot eyes wouldn't be tamed by the concealer Maria bought you so long ago, but you tried your best, anyway. After picking out the least ugly shirt and skirt combination, you made sure your hair looked decent before taking a deep breath and stepping out the door of your hotel room.
The first step towards your freedom.
You were proud of yourself. You had actually managed to not let the nerves get to you until you entered the courthouse and saw Madeline tapping away on her phone, wearing a dark blue pantsuit and hair pulled back in a simple bun, with a black leather suitcase hung over her shoulder. She looked up when she heard you approach, giving your outfit a nod of approval before enveloping you in a quick hug.
"You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," you said, giving her a nervous smile. Your hands were beginning to shake as she walked you down a secluded hallway towards the conference room she had booked for your conversation with Patrick. You could feel your chest tighten with every step you took, but when you turned the corner and saw Joel leaning up against the wall in a brown suit with another man you didn't recognize but assumed was Patrick's lawyer, you instantly felt relief. When his eyes locked with yours and he gave you a small smile, you felt even calmer.
You could do this.
"Last chance. Are you sure you want to do this?" Madeline said next to you. Glancing through the window in the door, you saw Patrick sitting at the table in a rumpled jumpsuit, his handcuffed arms resting on the table as he stared down as his fingernails. You nodded and looked at Patrick's lawyer.
"Does he have the divorce papers, or do you?"
The lawyer gave you a polite smile before replying "I do, miss."
You nodded before taking a deep breath, and glancing at Joel one more time to remind yourself why you were doing this, you twisted the doorknob and stepped into the room.
Patrick lifted his head up when you walked in and gave you half a smile, but you just shut the door behind you and walked to the other end of the table, as far away from him as you possibly could get, and sat down.
He stared down the table at you, giving you his most charming persona, the side he always brought out when he knew he had gone too far and wanted to make amends. You folded your hands calmly on the table and tilted your head to the side, waiting for him to speak. Minutes ticked by, inching closer and closer to your trial time as you waited, refusing to be the one who bent first.
"New clothes?" he finally asked, and you quirked an eyebrow.
"Yeah, looks like you got some new clothes, too."
You patted yourself on the back for the jab, but you didn't show a hint of the smugness you were feeling when you saw a quick scowl flit across his face.
"Alright," he said, leaning back in his hair and lifting his hands up in mock defeat. "You win."
"What did I win?" you said with a frown.
"This," he said, motioning between the two of you. "You want outta this so badly, fine. I'll sign the papers. I'll leave you alone."
"Great," you said, trying to keep the tremble from your voice.
"You gotta drop these charges, though, baby. This shit could get me killed, you know that?"
"Don't call me baby."
He sat forward suddenly, making you flinch. "What the hell do you want me to call you, then?"
You took a steadying breath and glanced at the door, catching Joel's eye before looking back at Patrick.
"I'm not dropping the charges."
He shrugged and dropped his hands loudly on the table. "Then I ain't signing the papers."
You looked at Joel again. His lips were pressed in a thin line as he watched the two of you and you wondered if he could hear anything through the door.
"What about the charges against Joel? Would you let it go and sign if I dropped the charges?" you asked quietly, and that caught Patrick's interest. He smirked and folded his hands on the table.
"Oh, no. Can't do that. I got your boyfriend right where I want him. Got a rockstar witness that'll help me take him for all he's got. Hope that kid of his is smart, she's gonna need to get a scholarship for college. Daddy ain't gonna have two dimes to rub together when I'm done with him."
Your jaw clenched and your nostrils flared as you stared at Patrick across the table, doing your best to rein in your anger and not say something stupid.
"You don't have shit against him," you spat, and true to form, he couldn't help himself. He just had to show his hand.
"Bullshit. Got that girl he was on a date with that night at the bar willing to testify he had it out for me, that he was obsessed with you and would do anything to get rid of me," he sneered, looking quite pleased with himself.
You bit down on the inside of your cheek. You knew Nikki was pissed, but this was going too far.
"Then it doesn't sound like we have anything else to talk about," you said, standing up. You made your way to the door, passing by his chair, when he spoke once again.
"You're not gonna win, you know. They don't put cops in jail. Juries feel too guilty, knowing how dangerous it is."
You looked down at him, finally seeing him for who he really was: a pathetic, desperate, sad excuse for a man. No matter how long it took for Madeline to finalize your divorce, you would do it the right way. You've suffered for years, a few more months wouldn't kill you.
And then you would be free.
"Hope you're willing to bet your life on that," you said before turning on your heel and swinging open the door.
Joel was at your side in an instant, following you and Madeline down the corridor towards the courtroom.
"Do I even want to ask?" Madeline said over her shoulder.
"You were right. He wanted me to drop the charges in exchange for signing the papers," you told her, then glanced up at Joel by your side. "I said no. We're doing this the right way."
"Good," they both said at the same time. Your hand itched to reach out and hold his, but you knew you couldn't, so you settled for gently brushing your knuckles against the back of his hand and you saw the corner of his mouth twitch.
When you entered the courtroom, which was much smaller than you expected, your eyes immediately drifted around to the scattered few people seated in the spectator chairs. You had completely forgotten about your mother, and seeing her sitting there, on the other side of the room as your cousin, with her hair pulled back tightly and wearing a navy blue dress you hadn't seen before, sent you into shock. Fortunately, she stared straight ahead, avoiding your penetrating gaze, so you looked away and made eye contact with your cousin, who gave you a tight smile and a thumbs up.
Then you heard Joel suck in air next to you and you glanced up at him, following his gaze to Michelle, who was seated a few rows behind the plaintiff's table.
"What's she doing here?" you tried to mutter under your breath.
"Don't know," he replied quietly, turning his focus away from her.
Madeline swung open the doors for you to step through and take a seat behind the desk, where she joined you and began to open up her briefcase and spread out all her files on the table. Joel slid into the row of chairs right behind you, and if you took a deep breath, you could smell him. Gone was the putrid cologne, the only thing he ever had in common with Patrick besides his profession. All that you could smell was him. His natural, masculine scent mixed with a subtle hint of his deodorant and some hair product. A smell you had grown to love and crave.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, you noticed you had less than five minutes before the trial began. More people began to stream in. Witnesses on both sides, some you recognized and some you didn't. A few cops that you knew were close with Patrick on the force sat together in full regalia, no doubt trying to win favor with the jury with their choice in clothes, just like you.
You had a chance to look at Joel just one more time, one fleeting smile and wink from him before the doors swung open. Patrick and his lawyer marched up to their table, both of them avoiding looking in your direction as they got settled in just in time for the bailiff to announce for the room to rise, and moments later the judge and jury walked in.
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You were holding up better than you expected. All of these months of preparation finally paid off. You were more confident after each witness Madeline brought up to the stand. She started with a couple old co-workers of yours, who didn't have much to say other than they had asked you a few times about your bruises and you had made up excuses, but they always suspected something else was going on. Patrick's lawyer stood up and objected when they hinted at your husband being the cause, and the judge agreed. Madeline backed off her line of questioning and once she was satisfied, announced no further questions before sitting down. Patrick's lawyer - Beckett Kennedy, you learned - chose not to question them further.
Next was your cousin, Mary, who testified she knew Patrick was hurting you, but as Beckett would clarify for the jury later under cross examination, had no proof other than your word. She explained how you continually went to her for help, that she helped you get on birth control without Patrick's knowledge, and how you confided in her the night before you fled to Texas.
The next witness in your defense was Carol, the doctor Joel had brought you to after Patrick's most recent assault.
That was when things got rocky.
There were blown up images of your injuries being projected in front of the entire room, including some that blurred out your privates, but you still found to be absolutely humiliating. You fidgeted in your seat, trying not to show too much emotion as Carol explained in great detail all of the injuries you had sustained not only that day, but historically as well. Madeline called into evidence your old medical reports from the hospitals back in Philadelphia, and Carol gave her expert opinion on each one, explaining in layman's terms what each and every note meant so that the jury could understand.
Every single cut, bruise, laceration, and broken bone was discussed as you stared down at your hands in your lap, your cheeks burning. You heard Joel shift behind you in his seat and you tried to take a deep breath, tried to catch his scent to calm you, but you were too far away or maybe it wasn't strong enough and the urge to turn around and bury your face in his neck for comfort was overwhelming.
Finally, Madeline finished up with Carol, thanking her for her time before sitting down next to you. She gave you a wink, trying to reassure you everything was going smoothly, and you gave her a small smile in return.
Beckett then got up to cross examine Carol. He tried to poke holes in her medical expertise, tried to question her knowledge about sexual assault and if she could truly be considered an expert in that particular field of study when she was just a general practitioner but Carol sat tall and told the court she was an OBGYN for ten years and that she very much had a vast amount of knowledge in the area of female anatomy.
After Beckett insultingly tried to suggest pap smears and the occasional birth could hardly make Carol an expert in trauma, she was excused.
"We have time for one more witness, Maddy," Judge Dean, an older man with bright blue eyes and absolutely no hair on his head, announced before she stood up and took a deep breath.
"The prosecution calls Sheriff Joel Miller to the stand."
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After Joel raised his right hand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he sat down and adjusted his blazer, then glanced at Madeline expectantly. She gave him a warm smile and started slow. She thanked him for traveling all the way to Austin to give his testimony, asked him to verify how long he had been town sheriff, and asked him to give an approximate idea of how many incidents he had encountered in his tenure for domestic or sexual abuse.
"So it sounds like you're no stranger to this type of crime."
"Unfortunately, no," he replied.
"The plaintiff didn't call the police when she was assaulted, is that correct?" she asked.
"That's correct."
"Can you explain how you came to find out she was hurt?"
Joel took a deep breath and glanced quickly at you before looking back at Madeline. "She works as a waitress at the diner in town. See her almost every day for lunch. One day she called in sick, I had a hunch somethin' was wrong and her apartment's on the way back to work, so I stopped to do a wellness check on her."
"What caused you to have a hunch, sheriff?"
"The day before, I saw the plaintiff and defendant at a coffee shop. I witnessed the defendant put his hands on the plaintiff in an aggressive manner and it raised some red flags," he explained calmly.
"And when you went to her apartment to do a wellness check, what did you see?" Madeline asked, looking up from her legal pad with her glasses perched on the tip of her nose. You dropped your gaze to your lap. You could remember that day vividly. The shame and embarrassment and the pain all came rushing back, and you tried to blink the tears away as you focused on Joel's answer.
"It was clear the plaintiff had been attacked," he began, and only because you knew him so well, you could hear the slight strain in his voice. "She had a gash on her forehead, a split lip, a bruise on her cheek and scratches all down her neck."
Madeline hummed as she picked up the remote for the projector and flipped through the images that Carol had gone over. She stopped on a picture of your face with wounds that matched Joel's description and you noticed out of the corner of your eye a few jurors shake their heads sadly.
"Are these images the injuries you're describing, sheriff?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"After you performed the wellness check, what happened?" Madeline asked, setting down the remote but leaving the picture of your beat up face on the monitor. You knew she was doing it to garner sympathy and help paint the picture Joel was describing, but it made your stomach turn.
"I encouraged the plaintiff to seek medical treatment and press charges."
"And that is when the plaintiff visited Dr. Carol Parker, correct?"
"That's correct."
"I noticed at the same time, the defendant was in holding, is that true?" Madeline asked, and Joel nodded.
"Yes."
"Why was he arrested, sheriff?"
"He was drunk and disorderly in public the night before, so I took him in to sleep it off."
"Were those the only charges against him?" she asked.
"No. He also punched me when I was attempting to make the arrest, so he was also charged with assaulting a police officer."
"And when the plaintiff came to the station to give her statement, that was when the additional charges were filed, correct?" Madeline asked, picking up the remote to switch to a slide of the long list of charges against Patrick.
"Correct."
"I also see here a restraining order was filed to protect the plaintiff."
"Correct."
"And did the defendant obey the restraining order?"
"No, he did not," Joel said, straightening up in his seat. "He showed up at the plaintiff's place of employment and tried to intimidate her. Threatened her." You closed your eyes for a moment, remembering that night when Tommy and Thor stood up for you. How scared you were, how hopeless you felt and then Joel arrived, and you felt like you could breathe again.
"And the police were called then?"
"Yes. Maria Miller, one of the owners of the diner, called down to the station and spoke with my deputy, who then called me on his way down to the diner and I met up with him there."
"To arrest the defendant for violating the restraining order?"
"Yes, that's right."
"And did you?" Madeline asked, leaning against the desk and crossing her ankles in front of her.
"Not that evening, no. He couldn't be found," Joel said. You stiffened in your seat, bracing for what was coming next.
"Can you tell me what happened after you arrived at the diner?"
Joel swallowed and glanced briefly in your direction again before answering. "I took the plaintiff back to her apartment so she could get some things and stay elsewhere for the night. We were worried the defendant would try to harm her and thought it best she stay away from her residence until he was apprehended," he said, pausing for a moment. "But when we got there, it was clear the defendant had already broken in-"
"Objection," Beckett announced suddenly.
"Sustained."
"Allow me to rephrase," Madeline said, pushing off her desk. "What did you witness when you arrived back at the plaintiff's apartment?"
"It appeared the place had been broken into," Joel began. "Her belongings were destroyed. There were holes in the drywall, dish-ware broken, graffiti on the walls, and what smelled like urine in her bed."
Madeline used her remote to flip to images of your apartment from that night, and when the one of your bathroom came onto the screen, you heard a low murmur from the people behind you.
"According to my notes, you sent out a pair of officers to process the scene the next morning, along with a forensic analyst, is that correct?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I would like to draw your attention to exhibit 6C, the forensics report," Madeline said, clicking the remote to another slide where a document appeared with the label Exhibit 6C at the bottom. "What can you tell me about this report, sheriff?"
"Objection. The witness can hardly be considered a forensics expert, your honor," Beckett said, standing up.
"I believe he's proven he has many years of experience and can answer basic questions," Madeline argued. "I will wait until tomorrow to question the forensics analyst in more detail, but I believe the sheriff has the ability to answer one simple question today."
The judge looked back and forth between Madeline and Beckett as he considered his answer.
"Be careful, counselor," he warned Madeline, then turned to Joel. "Go ahead."
"The DNA taken from the mattress matched the sample we took from the defendant at the station, so we brought additional charges against him for breaking and entering once he was arrested."
"And when did you finally arrest him, sheriff?"
"The following day."
"Can you please describe for the court how and where you found the defendant?" Madeline asked, leaning against the desk again. You nervously twisted your fingers in your lap as you listened.
"We found him in a crack house with some locals and a couple prostitutes."
"Did he resist arrest?"
"No, this time he was too high and passed out-"
"Objection!" Beckett yelled. "Speculation, your honor."
"Sustained," the judge said, frowning at Joel, but Joel just kept his gaze trained on Madeline.
"No further questions, your honor," Madeline said, turning on her heel to sit back down next to you.
"Your witness," the judge said with a nod in Beckett's direction, and a smug smile spread across his face before he stood up. He paced in front of the bench for a few moments, trying to build up the anticipation, and it was working. Your heart was thundering in your chest as you watched him walk slowly back and forth, but Joel appeared to be perfectly calm as he waited for his first question.
When he stopped pacing and you saw the look on Beckett's face, you knew exactly what was coming. It was the moment he had been waiting for. The bombshell. Their only chance at swaying the jury in their favor thus far, and he was ready to strike.
"Sheriff, have you ever had sex with the plaintiff?"
Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates. Tumblr won't let me add anyone else to the taglist ❤️
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justporo · 8 months
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Even more fluffy relationship headcanons for Astarion and Tav
Listen guys, I'm not done yet. For now, as soon as I get one idea out, three more pop up in my mind and since you guys seem to really like these (it's seriously and positively insane to me), I'll happily provide you more as long as I am able to. So, let's-a go: more headcanons and little ideas about them being together!
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(Gif from here!)
You love when Astarion smiles at you - just openly and full of joy; the sort of smile you've rarely seen from him during your adventures but they keep getting more and more, also they make him look just so young and carefree and beautiful and your heart just... melts
When Astarion quickly notices how you basically faint whenever he does this, he starts employing it to work his charms on you when he needs it - not the real big and joyous smiles though because they are so real and cherished to him he wouldn't dare use it to tease or manipulate you - they're only reserved to make you happy
Charming you is like breathing to Astarion though, you are just so helpless against his flattery and flirting because why would you resist if you could just give him everything that makes him happy?
When you mention once though that you'd hope to gain some immunity to it some time, Astarion is insulted: "No, love, making you blush is my favourite thing in the world. You are so beautiful with your cheeks all flushed. As long as I have a say in it, we will never stop!"
Tav likes teasing him just as much as Astarion enjoys it the other the way around: "You know if you would stop drawing your brows together all the time, it'd take fifty years off your face immediately." Moments of silence in which Astarion is just utterly shocked by your burn, then: "Who taught you to be this brutal, darling?" You raise an eyebrow at him, he helplessly lifts his arms: "Yeah right, I have only myself to blame."
Also, Astarion and Tav are definitely the kind of power couple that throw each other meaningful sassy looks when they're with other people and those are talking shit or something
Also, afterwards they will most definitely discuss and gossip over everything they experienced
Astarion is definitely the kind of man that would shower Tav with gifts, from coming home with a single beautiful flower that "reminded me of you, my beautiful blossom" ("How cheesy..." "Ah, so rather a gouda next time?") or a nice bottle of wine to share to bigger gestures like jewelry or expensive dresses ("When am I ever gonna wear this, Astarion?" "I don't know, we'll just make an opportunity!")
Tav loves all of his gifts but probably the small ones or the hand-crafted ones the most, she's happy with the little things but Astarion insists she deserves the big ones just as much
One time though, Astarion comes home with something else entirely; it's pouring outside and he's completely drenched and hiding something in his doublet jacket; "What do you have there, Astarion, a wheel of cheese?" Astarion carefully opens up his jacket to reveal a small white kitten that is just as drenched as him and is desperately trying to cling to the vampire's chest. "I found her all alone in a dark alleyway, cold and completely soaked, I thought maybe we could take care of her and she could be friends with Scratch?", he says while he carefully lifts up the small ball of fluff with an incredible softness in his eyes. Your heart is thoroughly melting as you walk over to them and you give Astarion the most loving of kisses
Well, the last one would almost be a drabble on it's own, I saw a similar post that made me think of this (I will find and tag them later!) Hope you enjoyed and I'm late for work now, whoops...
This is the post I mentioned before, by @mushy6902 (I hope it's okay I wrote a somewhat similar idea, thanks for inspiring me!)
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hajimeseyo · 3 months
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You're staring, Izana notices. 
He has no idea who you are, really, but you've been trying (and obviously failing) to sneak subtle glances at him the entire time since he stepped into the convenience store. It's starting to throw him off, just a little. For all he knows, you could be a spy from an opposing gang. Not a very good one, though. 
Your gaze follows him as he walks towards the cashier and pays, and even as he walks towards the exit, plastic bags in hand. He pays it no mind as he feels it shift off him, the sound of the cashier greeting you the last thing he hears as he steps outside the store. 
It didn't seem like you were going to pick a fight with him, he might as well just leave it be. 
Besides, any gang that dared to come after Tenjiku would just be mercilessly crushed under his heel. A spy or two wouldn't change that fact.
The clouds above him rumble, dark and heavy, and he frowns, looking up at the cloudy sky. It would be a pain in the ass if it rained while he was in the middle of walking home. Maybe he could call Kakucho to pick him up. Or he could just buy an umbrella from the store right behind him…
The sound of footsteps snap him out of his thoughts, and he glances to the side to see you, head lowered and lips mouthing numbers as you take inventory of the things in your plastic bag. You don't seem to have noticed him, he notes in amusement.
His theory proves true when you look up, done from counting, and nearly jump at the sight of him staring straight at you. Your eyes are wide, the way you freeze reminding him of a prey caught by its hunter, and he can't stop himself from having a little fun. 
“You were staring at me quite a lot earlier, huh?” He says, relishing in the way your face flushes with embarrassment, and the way you instantly try (and fail) to school it into a look of nonchalance. “Is there a problem?”
You cough awkwardly, eyes suddenly unable to look at him despite being fully glued onto him just minutes ago. Izana watches you squirm, all too used to these shows of discomfort. Based on most of his past interactions, you'll probably come up with some lame excuse on why you were staring at him, then take the first opportunity you have to run away. Or get defensive, and aggressively deny you were doing anything of the sort. People always act the same when confronted with their actions. Izana's used to the same old song and dance. 
He wonders which route you’ll take.
To his surprise, you take neither of them. 
You seem to come to a decision, gaze snapping up to him, nervous but suddenly full of what seems like determination.
“There's no problem, I was just staring because–” You falter a little here, cheeks reddening a little again, before you pull yourself together with a quick shake of the head. “Because, well…your eyes.”
“Hm?” That response certainly wasn’t what he was expecting. “What about them?”
“They're beautiful.”
The words are said so plainly, without a trace of any doubt, and Izana is shocked speechless. 
While he doesn't deny that he's good looking, the word ‘beautiful’ and any part of him have never been together in the same sentence before. That he's heard of, at least. Even if any of his subordinates had the guts to consider him ‘beautiful’, they definitely wouldn’t have the guts to say it to his face. Granted, you probably don’t have any idea who he is, but still. This is definitely a first.
(And even so, the thought that something about him could be beautiful was something that had never occurred to him.)
“...Really?” The words come out in a whisper before he could stop himself.
You nod vigorously, and once again Izana is thrown off by the fact that it's something you're so sure of. As if the thought of it being untrue has never even crossed your mind.
His response seems to appear to you as an invitation to talk more, as you continue speaking, hesitation fading away with each word that comes out of your mouth. “They're just such a beautiful shade of purple, like amethysts. I've never seen anything like it before. And paired with your long white eyelashes and white hair, you look like someone's painting came to life.”
"I don't know if anyone's told you before, but you're really a sight to behold."
There's a light, pleasant feeling in his chest.
He doesn't know what it is. 
“Ah!” You suddenly slap your hands over your mouth. “I spoke too much! God, I must've sounded like a creep, I'm so sorry–”
A laugh cuts you off from your panicked rambling. Izana doesn't quite know why he's laughing, but seeing you panicking over saying the wrong things despite being fully shameless literally right before just seemed so funny, and well, there's such a nice warmth in his chest; indulging in it doesn't hurt, right?
(He doesn’t notice the stars in your eyes as you stare, almost in awe, at his laughing visage.)
“What’s your name?” You’re interesting, he’s decided. It would be a shame to let you just slip away.
“[name].”
He lets out a hum. “[name], huh…got it.” 
“Wait.” You call out to him, just as he turns and begins to walk away. “What’s yours?”
He doesn’t notice, but as he turns back, there’s a genuine, serene smile on his face that would’ve shocked even the noisiest Haitani twins into silence at seeing it on the face of the highly feared leader of Tenjiku.
“Izana. Don’t forget it.”
(He’s scolded nonstop by Kakucho when he shows up at home, soaking wet from the heavy downpour outside.
“It’s not like you to be so careless.” Kakucho huffs, drying his hair roughly with all the fierceness of an Asian mom. “You knew it was going to start raining on your way back, why didn’t you just call for one of us to get you from the store?”
Izana hums unconcernedly. “I was already walking away from the store, I couldn’t just stop and turn back.”
“Huh?? Why the hell not??”
“Don’t be stupid, Kakucho. I would’ve looked so uncool.”
“??????”)
(part 2 here!)
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