#but my stepdad does. i hope all his teeth fall out actually

[half-bakedboy]

You’re a Shadowhunter Now (read on ao3)

Pairing: Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Rated: Gen Summary: “If she decides to go on her own, we’ve lost Valentine’s daughter to the downworld, and who knows what that means for the Circle,” Jace added even though Alec had already made up his mind. Alec shook his head and let out a frustrated breath through his nose as he walked away from his siblings.

“She’s not gonna listen to me,” Alec yelled as he walked in the direction the redhead had stormed off.

“Make her, Alec, you’re good at that,” Jace supplied.

Alec muttered to himself, “Apparently not good enough.”

For 5 Years of Shadowhunters presented by the @malecdiscordserver​!

The redhead was feisty when she was pissed off and there was something about that aspect of her that both surprised and intrigued Alec. It also had Alec sympathizing with her for the first time in the few hours he had known her. They had gone back to the Institute to figure out how to deal with the nerdy mundane being taken by the New York Vampire Clan in the most diplomatic manner - Alec briefly reminded himself that he was the only one that wanted to deal with it with thought and not action - and the redhead was pissed, to say the least. 

“Someone has got to talk to her,” Izzy said as she inspected her nails, pointedly ignoring any responsibility that she might have been given. Jace sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head at whatever thoughts were running through it. 

“I think Alec should do it,” Jace offered and Alec just gaped at him. 

“You want me to deal with her?” Alec said with a scoff as both Izzy and Jace stared up at him. 

“C’mon, you’re the one who couldn’t bother to be around the mundane and accused Clary of being some Circle spy all within a few hours of meeting her. Maybe if you just apologize--”

Alec held up a hand and argued, “Apologize?! You want me to say I’m sorry for being the only one pointing out scenarios in which this-- this little girl is much more than just a damsel in distress that you can save? I think I’m the only one who is thinking with my head here!” It seemed like his words did nothing to focus Izzy and Jace away from whatever they felt for the redhead and he relented, as he always did, with a heavy sigh. 

“Just go talk to her. Explain why we can’t just go after him and maybe she’ll understand that you want to get Simon back just as much as she does,” Izzy said softly, resting a hand on Alec’s arm comfortingly. He shrugged her off but he couldn’t argue with her words. Shadowhunters were sworn protectors and as much as Alec wanted to just let the vampires get away with the kidnapping, he held duty above all else, and it was his responsibility to get the mundane out of their grasp. 

“If she decides to go on her own, we’ve lost Valentine’s daughter to the downworld, and who knows what that means for the Circle,” Jace added even though Alec had already made up his mind. Alec shook his head and let out a frustrated breath through his nose as he walked away from his siblings. 

“She’s not gonna listen to me,” Alec yelled as he walked in the direction the redhead had stormed off. 

“Make her, Alec, you’re good at that,” Jace supplied. 

Alec muttered to himself, “Apparently not good enough.” He had tried to get Jace to listen to him on many occasions, to stop being so reckless and stop taking in strays as if they were prizes he competed for, to follow the guidelines sent down to him from his parents and the Clave, but it was useless because Jace did what Jace wanted. His bad decisions were rubbing off on Izzy and Alec silently thanked his parents for taking Max away before he could go down the path of resistance with the rest of his siblings. 

He stopped walking when he heard soft sobs coming from one of the residential rooms. His heart tightened in his chest as he remembered the times he had waited outside Izzy’s door while she cried herself to sleep after their mother had berated her. It happened far too often and Alec was always afraid of knocking on the door and offering his support. Izzy had to be strong in order to be who she needed to be and who Alec knew she could be and he wasn’t going to interfere with that. So he would sit outside her door until he was sure she was finally getting some rest and spend the rest of the night staring at his ceiling, wondering if he was doing the right thing. 

With a steady inhale, Alec let his knuckles rap against the door softly, calling out a gentle, “Clary?” He heard some shuffling and sniffling as if she was trying to hide the fact she was crying and Alec respected that more than he thought he would. The door opened slowly and the glare the redhead had on her face was almost as deadly as the one Alec had perfected. 

“What?” She spat, her hair whipping into Alec’s face as she turned quickly and sat on the bed with a huff. 

“I just wanted to-- Are you okay?” He asked and the question seemed to surprise Clary. She nodded at first, quick and sure, but then her bottom lip started to tremble and she shook her head.

“It was my birthday yesterday,” she began as a tear fell down her cheek. Alec stayed silent from where he stood, unsure of how to comfort this girl he had barely just met. “It was supposed to be the best day of my life. I turned 18 - a real adult by human standards - and was accepted into my dream school. I had a mom who-- who was-- is my best friend and a stepdad who I trusted with my life. And I had my best friend, the one person who has been there for me since I was little, celebrating with me.” Her voice shook with each passing confession and Alec resisted the urge to sit beside her and place a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“And now?” He asked because if he knew anything, it was that hiding feelings and emotions from those that just wanted to help was the most detrimental thing a person could do to themselves. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to know Clary, but it was too late to change his mind as Clary looked up at him with wide eyes and shook her head again. 

“My mother pushed me into a swirling hole of magic that her best friend created and now I might never see her again. I showed up at my step dad’s work only to overhear him admit that I meant nothing to him, that my mother meant nothing to him. I almost died and was only saved because some guy I just met gave me some mystical tattoo of healing, and now?” Clary took a deep breath and the tears that threatened to fall seemed to disappear as she tried to compose herself. “My best friend has been kidnapped by a guy that had fangs for teeth and the ability to disappear before I could even register what I was seeing.” 

“He’s a vampire,” Alec said ignoring the glare that Clary shot in his direction, “a very powerful one that is using the mund-- Simon,” Alec corrected, “against you.” He sighed heavily, taking a few steps closer to Clary to sit beside her on the bed before continuing, “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re a shadowhunter now. That means you have to follow the rules that have been created to keep all of us safe and protected.” 

“But what about Simon?” Clary questioned, turning toward Alec to grip his thigh in her hands, her nails digging into the flesh there like a desperate plea for answers that Alec couldn’t really give her. Alec rested his hand over hers to urge her to relax. She didn’t know it yet, but he was the one with the mind to make a plan and the good sense to make sure they took the correct next steps in order to keep everyone safe. There was a small part of him that hoped he could prove it to her. 

“They won’t hurt him,” Alec began and at Clary’s look of disbelief, he added, “They won’t. They want something they think you have and I’m starting to believe that you know less than everyone thinks you do.” Clary nodded quickly and sniffed as an escaped tear fell down her cheek. Alec reached up before he could stop himself and swiped it away with his thumb before resting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. “But we can’t just barge into a nest of vampires without a plan, Clary. You know Simon better than the rest of us and you trust him to stay alive, yeah?” 

Clary agreed, “He’s probably torn between fear and excitement that vampires actually exist and he gets to see one in person.” Her watery laugh had Alec relaxing enough to stand and peer down at her. He admitted to himself that he had - still held - reservations about the redhead, but her ability to be thrown into the Shadow World with barely any fear crossing her features was something Alec admired. 

“Then we’ll figure out how to get him back, but we’re going to need your help. I need you to calm yourself down and clear your head,” Alec commanded. Clary stood up and wiped at her face, fixing the leather skirt Izzy had lent her before nodding at Alec again as if ready for action. Alec shook his head and nudged her back to sitting with a gentle hand. 

“Take a second. Mourn the loss of the mundane life you knew because from now on,” Alec said as he walked toward the door, “you’re a shadowhunter first. You’re the responsibility of the Clave which means you’re my responsibility and I take that very seriously.” Clary stared over at him and Alec had to avert his eyes before he became uncomfortable with the trust he saw forming in them. 

“Thank you, Alec,” Clary whispered. Alec nodded but said nothing else as he walked out the door. He shut it behind him and when he heard Clary’s sobs start up again, he slid down the wall outside of the room just to make sure that she was going to be okay. 

#fraywood #fraywood brotp #clary fray #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #my writing #mdsrewatch #5 years of shadowhunters #ahhhhhh i love them so much 🥺 #dont @ me okay #clary is baby

[deans-baby-momma]

Mommy’s (Not So) Good Girl-20

A/N: Only 5 more chapters after this one and GREAT NEWS!!!Only 5 more day of September so I will be posting a chapter a day until Sept. 30th. Then I am going on a small hiatus (again) to try and cope with this new “illness” and all it’s lovely side effects. 

I look at Dean wide-eyed as my mom’s voice sounds through the door. He jumps off the bed and I quickly crawl back under my comforter, pulling it up to my chest. 

“Yea Mom,” Abby says, her voice shaking. “Come on in.”

Mom opens the door and I can tell when she realizes that Dean is in my room. She looks at him shocked and stops halfway in.

“What are you doing in here?” she asks him.

“I wanted to make sure she was okay. I saw a dispute between her and that Coleman boy. I wanted to find out what that was about,” Dean explains and it looks as though my Mom buys it because she smiles sweetly at him and then continues on into my room.

“That’s sweet of him, isn’t it Abs?”

“Ye-yea,” I stutter out. “He’s a good stepdad.”

“Can I have a few minutes with her?” My mom asks as she looks at Dean. He nods and heads out the door, looking back over his shoulder at me once he is behind her. 

“What’s up Mom?” I ask as soon as he is out of sight.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry that your friend couldn’t make it tonight.”

“Huh?” I ask, confused.

“Your friend who you call ‘Daddy’.” she says, with a wiggle of her eyebrows. “You did invite him, didn’t you?” 

“Oh. Yea, I called him but he had to work,” I lie through my teeth. “It’s okay. It’s no big deal.”

“It was nice of Dean to give you a kiss at midnight though, wasn’t it?” she asks as she sits in the very same spot he had taken just ten minutes ago. “He really watches out for you and Ben. I think he’d make an excellent stepdad.” She pauses and then adds, “and a wonderful dad.”

I feel sick to my stomach! Is she insinuating what I think she is?!

“Mom, are you pregnant?”

“What?” she laughs as she answers. “No. I’m not pregnant. But the thought has crossed my mind. Dean lost so much when his brother died. He is the last living member of his immediate family. I just think it’d be nice to give him someone to carry on the Winchester name.”

‘Oh my god!’ I think to myself. ‘Mom is actually considering carrying Dean’s child! No, no no!’

“Yea, that would be nice. But-” I pause to be able to word my inquiry correctly. “Does Dean want kids? I mean sure he is awesome with me and with Ben but does he want his own?”

“I don’t know,” Mom says. “But if it were to happen, he’d have to be happy about it, right?”

“Mom, you cannot get pregnant without talking about it with him first.”

Mom sighs and then her shoulders slump. “Yea, you’re right. What was I thinking?!”

I breathe in relief that it seems that she has decided to forgo her plan of “accidentally” getting pregnant. 

I couldn't go to sleep after Mom dropped that bombshell. 

What was she thinking?! Did she actually believe Dean would be happy if she were to get pregnant? Would he? I know for a fact that they use protection, so he is trying not to knock her up right?

During Thanksgiving I had found an empty condom wrapper in her trashcan as I was gathering up the garbage in the house so I knew Dean, at least, had been thorough and had wrapped up.

I lay in bed,  staring up at the ceiling,  trying my best not to think of Dean impregnating my mother. That would just be so wrong!

Hopefully I talked some sense into her and she won't proceed with her nefarious and outrageous plan. I can only hope that if she were to get pregnant that it is after some honest discussion with the man and that he was on board with the idea as well.

Although, I don't think Dean is actually ready to settle down and have his own family.

Yes, he a excellent role model for Ben and the whole neighborhood thinks he and Mom are perfect for each other, they don't know he's also fucking me. Not so ideal now, is he?

VALENTINE'S DAY

Once again the campus is inundated with decorations. Big, red floating hearts seem to be posted everywhere, along with cutouts of that stupid baby with the bow and arrow and balloons seemingly come out of nowhere, getting right in the way.

Why college students insist on celebrating this holiday is beyond me. It's just another excuse to get drunk and try to bang someone. So many of my classmates throughout the last couple of years have had to pull back on their studies or completely drop out because a good Valentine romp ended up with a nice little surprise come Thanksgiving; a surprise in the form of a cute little baby.

I refuse to be one of those girls who get so blindly drunk she succumbs to the lame attempts by fellow college guys and 9 months later, alone and with a child to care for.

I swat away at the millionth red bag of air as my phone pings in my hand.  I look at the screen and smile when I see 'Daddy' has sent me a message.

>Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart 

>>Happy Valentine's Day Daddy. I miss you.

>God, I miss you too. My party was boring without you here.

Mom had thrown Dean a surprise birthday party at the end of January but I'd had a big exam to prep for so I couldn't make it home to attend.

>>I'm sorry. I had to study. I'll make it up to you, I promise. 

>How about today? Right now?

>>Now?

>Look up.

My head jerks up and there he is! I look around and my eyes fall on that black muscle car I remember from my childhood. The one that's been parked in the garage at home for months; Dean's excuse to spend time with Ben fixing it up and keeping it running.

Leaning against the top of the shiny ebony vehicle is the man who plagues my dreams, at night and during the day.  The way the sun shines creates a flawless glow around his head, almost like a halo. I smile as I cross the street toward him.

"What are you doing here?" I can’t help but to ask, but secretly giddy that he is here.

"Couldn't let today pass by without seeing you Abby. Thought you might allow me to take you to lunch, show me around your 'home away from home'," he says as I step toward him and he opens his arms. I gladly walk right into his embrace,  moving my books to one arm. 

I want to tiptoe and kiss him but I don't want anyone seeing anything that would raise questions, inquiries I didn't want to answer. Right now,  a hug looks innocent. Just a guy hugging a girl in greeting.

“Sure,” I say as I smile up at him. “I was just gonna drop my books off in my room and then go to the food cart down the way. C’mon.”

As we walk toward my dorm, I can’t help but feel special, feel important. Dean took the day to come an hour away to see me, on the day of love no less. Wait, does that mean what I think it means? Is there a more significant reason he is here? Is he here to declare feelings for me? 

I shake those thoughts from my head, determined not to question his visit but just enjoy it. So what if he drove almost 70 miles? He does it because he cares. Nothing more than that. I’m not going to scrutinize it; no, I’m going to enjoy the few hours I get to spend with the man. What’s that old saying, ‘don't look a gift horse in the mouth’? Yea I’m not going to do that.

When we get my dorm room, I unlock the door and walk in, holding it open so he can follow. Thank goodness Sheila isn’t here because I really don’t want to share any time I get to spend with Dean with anyone else. For a few hours today, he is mine.

Placing my books on my desk, I turn to see Dean looking around the room with his head nodding slightly. 

“So, you want to go with me to the food cart or-” I say nervously. Wait, why the hell am I nervous? Oh yea, that’s right; there is a bed not even 5 feet away and the man I have dreamed of being in that bed right there. My dream could actually come through. Getting back on track, I clear my throat. “-we could go to the cafe across campus. It’s a bit of a walk but it’s decent outside today. You know, for the middle of February in the north.”

“Yea we can do that baby,” he says with a smirk. “As soon as you tell me what’s wrong. You’re acting all shifty. Should I have called first? Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?” He quirks and eyebrow at me.

I giggle and respond. “Uh, no.  No date. Just you’re in my room. And my bed is-” I explain as I point toward the furniture. “-is right here. I’ve dreamed of you and me in that bed, ya know.”

Dean steps closer and I can see the humor of the situation on his face. “And? What are we doing in the bed?”

I feel a flush come up my neck. Why am I embarrassed now? It’s not like we haven’t done it. “Fucking,” I answer honestly, which earns me a wide smile from the man in front of me.

“Well, how long will your roommate be gone?”

“Couple hours, I think.”

“Okay, so what do you say we go grab a bite to eat and then come back and make those dreams come true?”

Finally feeling bold again, I rip my sweater over my head and say, “Why wait?”

Dean hurriedly jerks his shirt off and I watch in awe. He unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down his legs before standing up again. This man is going to be the death of me.

“I need you Abby,” is all he says before I rush him, tackling him to the mattress.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @deanwanddamons​ @hoboal87​ @marvelfanbrenda​ @vicmc624​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @elliloumom @stoneyggirl​  @kricketc29​

#series #Mommy's (Not So) Good Girl #dean winchester #lisa braeden #abby braeden #ben braeden #dean x lisa #dean x abby #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fic #spn fanfic #between season 5 and 6 #Smut #angst #fluff

[letterboxd]

Rocketman.

“I’m a straight actor playing a gay icon. We had an obligation to honor that side of his story.”

Taron Egerton, star of the new musical biopic Rocketman, tells Letterboxd about having a takeaway curry with Sir Elton John and portraying the absolute pop icon on the big screen.

They say in showbiz, timing is everything. And Rocketman is very well-timed.

Bohemian Rhapsody proved emphatically that there is a huge cinematic appetite for rock-and-pop star biopics, which have long been the domain of the small screen. That film earned more than $900 million at the global box office and garnered an Academy Award for lead actor Rami Malek.

Working in Rocketman’s favor is the fact that Bo Rhap (as Rocketman star Taron Egerton refers to it) was a widely embraced, award-winning film that everybody agreed could’ve been a little better. And quite a lot gayer.

Rocketman steps up on both fronts, and it’s also directed by Dexter Fletcher, the man credited with salvaging Bohemian Rhapsody after he stepped in to finish the film when original director Bryan Singer was fired during production (Singer retained sole director credit per DGA rules).

Also working for Rocketman: the songs of Elton John and lyricist Bernie Taupin (played in the film by Jamie Bell), which are incorporated into the narrative with welcome creative flair. Egerton—as the film’s marketing campaign has made very clear—does all his own singing in the film, and he’s pretty darn decent.

Letterboxd recently sat down with Egerton at an exclusive press event in West Hollywood where he talked about his experience making Rocketman, and what it was like getting to know the man who inspired it.

Egerton began by talking about the film’s fantastical approach and how it uses John’s rehab journey as a framing device: Taron Egerton: The mandate for the production was always that it wouldn't be an out-and-out biopic, that it would lean into these elements of fantasy. The movie begins with Elton entering rehab and those scenes are what I’m most excited for people to see, because to see someone who’s so universally known in such an intimate, vulnerable situation, I think is quite unusual. And it says something about Elton and how candid and resilient he is. Elton recounts his life through rehab, we learn his story from being a young child and going to the Royal Academy of Music. And it essentially goes right the way up to the point where he goes to rehab.

On how he felt going into the role: It was terrifying. Because it’s a musical and because it’s a fantasy, it was always a prerequisite that the actors sing. So there’s a tricky thing, particularly following in the wake of something like Bo Rhap, it’s so unmistakably Freddie, the sound of it. So for me it was about singing the songs as well as I possibly could. But we were lucky in the sense that Elton and [husband] David [Furnish] are very close to the project. It started with them, and Elton has been fantastic in letting me be a part of his life for the past couple of years. And befriending me, frankly. Which has made the whole thing feel very personal and very real.

On how he went about embodying Elton John: Weirdly, I found the stuff where I played him older, easier, and I think that’s because all the time I’ve spent with Elton has been older Elton. I haven’t spent any time with 21-year-old Elton. There is footage, but it’s interesting, because people portray such a version of themselves on camera. I don’t know. For me, it all kind of came from the first time I sat down with him and we had curry together. I went over and I had a takeaway curry at his house. And we just talked for about two and a half hours. It’s such a hard thing to describe. When you are given the honor of playing one of the most adored and famous people in the world, there’s such a weight of responsibility that comes with it. And then when you meet them and connect with them generally, I don’t know, it just feels like one of the most important things I’ve ever done. I can’t really describe the feeling of having gone through the whole thing.

There’s an element of getting to look as much like him as you can, which is very helpful. There’s four rough stages of Elton. The first one being his kind of teenage bowl-cut, chunky Buddy Holly glasses. Then into the longer hair, early 20s stuff where we’re in LA. And then the hair starts to go. For the third look I shaved my hair line up higher than it already is by a couple of inches. And for the fourth and final look, I have a bald cap. There’s something about changing yourself completely and the way you look that really conditions how you feel.

One thing about Elton is that at some point in his mid-late 20s, things started to get a little bit out of control and unraveled a little bit for him I think, and there’s something to do with putting a slight gap in my teeth and changing my hair, it just didn’t make me feel very much like me. And so I created this hybrid of me and him.

That’s another thing as well, through getting to know him, I feel like there are some parallels between me and him. I mean, I’m not a genius, but in the sense that some of the neuroses and insecurities, I just recognize some things. So there’s a lot of me in there and my emotional volatility and I’m someone who has very extreme and acute reactions to things. I’m potentially a little emotionally volatile at times. And that is, I think, certainly who Elton was. So it’s just about dialing up those things in yourself, and dialing other things down.

On the film celebrating Elton John’s sexuality: I’m a straight actor playing a gay icon, so I again felt very, very keenly that if I was going to do this and do this properly that we had an obligation to honor that side of his story. So early on the film there is a love scene, it’s between myself and Richard [Madden, who plays John’s manager and lover John Reid]. It’s the first love scene I’ve ever done and it’s two young guys falling in love in a time where it possibly wasn’t that socially acceptable and I think it is a scene I’m really, really proud of.

There is a community that feels a certain sense of ownership over icons that are a member of that community, so we have that responsibility to honor that part of their story. And it’s been fantastic, especially working with Paramount on this, who have always felt very strongly that this was a part of the story that we needed to push and honor and see reflected in our film. And I’m really pleased with it, I think it’s lovely actually.

On the film not shying away from Elton John’s substance abuse: This is not a movie that glamorizes drug use. Elton’s relationship with certain substances was extremely corrosive and bad for his health and nearly cost him everything. And that was an important part of the story for me. The balance is also in making it something that is joyous, celebratory and fun to watch. And that has been the knife edge that we’ve had to walk along. And I hope people will feel we’ve done a good job of that.

On leaning into the truth of Elton John’s volatile personality: A documentary was made by David about Elton 25 years ago called Tantrums and Tiaras. It is no secret that Elton has his ups and downs. We were true to that—it’s who he is. And frankly I think it’s why we love him. So I felt very much when we were on set that I wanted to push it. Because the one person I knew wouldn’t mind me doing that, was Elton. Because he’s not precious. He knows where his strengths and weaknesses lie, and he’s very at peace with who he is.

He’s been through a hell of a lot and he’s been through recovery and he is settled and solid and knows who he is and he’s quite candid about it. So for me I always wanted there to be that duality between this sweet, incredibly caring, generous person, who just has this intense artistic sensibility and volatility, and I believe that is hand in hand with his creative genius.

On how younger audiences less familiar with Elton John might respond to the film: Elton’s music is still so played on the radio but I hope that there’s a world in which we bring music to some young ears that haven’t heard it before. Well, young-ish ears; it’s not the most child-friendly film. But young ears nonetheless. I think there’s a universality to Elton’s music. I don’t think the success of Elton’s music is entirely conditional on the context in terms of time. It was brilliant music in 1971, and it’s brilliant music now. Everyone loves Elton John, but for relatively young people like me to go back and then listen to all the stuff that made his name in the early 70s, things like Amoreena, Take Me To the Pilot, Hercules, Border Song… and you just go, fucking hell, it’s just, it’s mind-blowing, the output. In an ideal world—you can’t plan for it—I would hope that people rediscover Elton through the film.

On what playing the role has meant to Egerton: As with most people, I can pinpoint times in my life as early as five where I was aware of Elton John. I remember that video of him doing The Circle of Life when I fell in love with The Lion King when I was five or six. I remember being twelve and the Greatest Hits coming out, and me and my stepdad, who my mum had just met, who became a huge part of my life, him and I sitting listening to that Greatest Hits album, singing I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues together as he drove me to school.

Then when I was 17 and I auditioned for drama school and sang Your Song. I didn’t get in. Then I sang it again the following year and I did [get in]! I knew it was a winner. And so he’s always been there, Elton John as this kind of, idea. And then in 2016, when I’m still barely able to process the fact that I’ve been in a hit movie, for someone to say “Do you want to play Elton John?” And to go “Well how does Elton feel about it?” and hear “He really loves the idea”. It’s just fucking mental innit?

It’s just insane. Creating the film, without wishing to get too earnest, has felt like a hugely important thing for me. And a hugely important thing for posterity in some sense, because hopefully in the future it will be so many people’s introduction to Elton John. I feel like I’ve poured more of myself into it than I have anything else and so for me I feel very satisfied by the whole experience.

It’s been hard work. And essentially has been my life for the past year, 18 months, with creating all the songs and recording them and re-recording them and changing things and going back after we filmed. But I wouldn’t have changed a second of it. And I would do it all again. There’s not many things I would say that about.

And then, just getting to know him and to genuinely feel a connection with the great man. I sang with him recently, I still can’t believe that that happened. I genuinely get a bit emotional thinking about it.

Sir Elton John has appeared in more than 60 films as various versions of himself, and composed for several soundtracks, including a handful of beloved songs for Disney’s ‘The Lion King’ (Jon Favreau’s new photorealistic version comes out this July). Welsh actor-singer Taron Egerton is, until now, best-known for his leading role in the ‘Kingsman’ film franchise. ‘Rocketman’ is in theaters now. Comments have been edited for clarity and length.

#rocketman #elton john #sir elton john #david furnish #bernie taupin #jamie bell #biopic #letterboxd

[unseenthewriter]

CHAPTER 5: CHEERLEADING

Chapter 5: 3468 Words

Fic Total: 14556 Words

Series Total: 14556 Words

"Well since you're going to be here for a while Jay you should probably join some sort of club." Dunc said to me during lunch.

I rolled my eyes. "No thanks. I've enjoyed my lack of things to do after school ever since I quit Gymnastics. Besides, I volunteer at PPTH."

"What about cheerleading?" Dunc asked, completely ignoring my reply.

"Are you suggesting this just because you're hoping to be back on the football team next year?" I asked with a smirk creeping up my face.

"What! No of course not." Dunc protested quickly.

"Uh-huh, sure thing." I said.

"I am in remission so fingers crossed I'll be ready for next season." He moved on.

"Yeah, congrats on that." I said.

"Ah well having a Doc like Wilson helps." Dunc said.

"Yeah, he's pretty nice." I mumbled.

"Cute too. You know for a guy his age." He said offhandedly.

I choked on my drink. "What?" I croaked.

"You heard me." Duncan said.

How the HELL do I even begin to respond to that. "You were the one who brought up he's basically my Stepdad." I said.

"Yeah well, your Dad has good taste that's all I'm saying." Dunc said with a shrug.

Wow, I want to curl up and die. Mainly because Duncan is absolutely correct and I hate it. "I need friends who don't think my family is hot." I grumbled.

"Good luck with that." Dunc said.

Jerk.

~~~

I yawned as I stared into my school locker. Princeton Prep is one of those stupid schools that doesn't let you carry around your backpack all day because of the "potential fire hazard". I forgot to grab my history textbook during passing time so that's why I'm here. After grabbing the book I turned around to be faced with a girl. Ivy Adler. Captain of the Cheerleaders. She's not your typical Cheerleading Captain. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a lesbian. "Yes?" I said.

"Lestrade said you were interested in joining." She replied.

Lestrade is Duncan's surname. He's actually mostly called that. Most of the rich boys at the school go by their surnames. Which means most of the boys do because only a handful of us aren't insanely rich. That handful includes me of course. Well sort of… It's complicated. "He says a lot of things." I huffed and started to make my way down the hallway.

"I know about you." Ivy said and grabbed my arm.

"What about me?" I said locking eyes with her.

Ivy glared at me for a minute before continuing. "You could've been an Olympian."

I jerked my arm away from Ivy's grasp. "I doubt it."

After the first motorcycle accident, I struggled a lot more with anxiety. It was starting to bleed into my Gymnastics before I quit. The articles don't talk about that of course because my coach kept the whole thing on the down-low. Doing the more advanced tricks was getting harder for me to do. Not in a physical way but in a mental way.

"You don't need to be an Olympian to join Cheerleading." Ivy said.

I sighed. "I'll think about it. Tell Lestrade to stop talking about me behind my back."

"He never says anything bad." She said.

"Didn't think he did." I said.

~~~

I was sitting at the kitchen counter trying to not cry while doing math homework. Wilson was cooking some pasta dish and I have no idea what House is up to.

Wilson stopped to look at me as I grumbled to myself about secants. "Do you not take notes?" He asked, noticing the clear lack of notes.

"Math is my first class of the day. I'm usually asleep." I said.

Wilson looked worried at that. "I'm fine. I'm an honors student." I said.

"It's a wonder how." Wilson muttered to himself but I decided to let it go.

A few problems later I glanced back up. "You think Dunc will be ready for the next football season?" I asked.

"Duncan Lestrade?" Wilson asked.

I nodded.

"He asked me the same question recently. As long as the cancer doesn't come back he should be. Why do you ask?" Wilson replied.

I sighed. "He wants me to join the Cheerleaders."

"Hmm, House was a Cheerleader." Wilson replied casually.

I blinked. "What?"

"In college." House said while making his entrance. Beelining for the fridge to grab a beer.

I sat there for a minute. Completely thrown off guard. "You were a Cheerleader?" I squeaked.

House took a seat next to me and glanced at my math homework. He made a face of disgust at it. "My leg wasn't always like this."

"That's not what I meant. I mean obviously it wasn't always- Well not obviously. I mean!" I stumbled over my words.

House, of course, was smirking and Wilson must've decided that it can't be possible for me to get more flustered because he decided to drop a bomb on me. "If Duncan is on the Football team and wants you to join the Cheerleaders… Are you two together?"

"No!" I said far too quickly.

House and Wilson were both staring at me.

"We're just friends." Truth. I think.

"I mean I don't even know if he swings that way." Lie. He totally does, he's just never said it outright.

"I'm not into him anyway." Lie. Major lie Jay you totally are.

House chuckled into his beer bottle. He can see through my lies then. I looked back at my math homework. It definitely wasn't going to be finished any time soon so I put it away. "The Cheerleading Captain already cornered me and asked me to join." I said.

"That's pretty quick." Wilson said.

"Yeah, she found out about my Gymnastic past apparently." I grumbled and held my face in my hands while propping my elbows up on the counter. Part of me wonders if I just kept presenting as a girl and stayed in Gymnastics would I have really ended up in the Olympics? Of course, there's always going to be the regret of getting on that motorcycle with my Mom. All the what-ifs in my short life so far. Wilson put a bowl of pasta in front of me and interrupted my thoughts. "Oh, thanks." I said and got up to grab a glass of water.

"Why do you have a voice recorder?" House asked. Great, he's going through my backpack totally chill…

I grabbed the backpack back with a glare. "I record some of the lectures. Mainly when I'm tired." I said and sat back down with my water.

"You record math?" Wilson asked.

"Unfortunately math doesn't transfer too well to just audio recording." I said.

"How'd you get into Princeton Prep?" Wilson asked.

"You're there on scholarship." House said.

Oh, he remembered that. Maybe he kept forgetting my name to annoy me.

"I'm good at forging my Mom's signature and faking her voice. Because she was such a busy person the school was accommodating and never asked to meet her face to face just me because we were from out of state. My grades got me the scholarship." I explained.

Wilson sighed. "Only someone related to you would pull off something like that." He said to House.

"Sounds like they didn't look too much into your Mother then. There's a few easy to find articles online about her death." House said.

I froze. Images of the crash flashed through my mind. Oh, God the blood and-

My fork clattered on the table making me jump. "Right. Yeah, they were idiots." I said quickly.

Wilson looked at me suspiciously but he didn't say anything.

"I'm going to uh finish my math." I said picking up my backpack and making my escape to my room before Wilson or House could say anything.

After closing the door I let the backpack fall to the floor with a thud and stood there for a while. Numb.

Later I sat down and finished my math.

~~~

"Jay wake up." Dunc said.

"Huh?" I mumbled and sat up.

"You really gotta stop falling asleep in class. The only reason the teachers don't wake you up is because you're an honors student." He said.

I stood up and stretched my arms. "I mean I should probably ask House or Wilson about getting a new prescription for my sleep meds but I keep forgetting." I mumbled.

Dunc sighed and led me out of the history classroom. "You need to get to Biomedical Science."

I've already slept in both math and history. Hopefully, I'll be awake enough now. "Yeah got it, have fun in Band." I mumbled. I'll definitely be awake by Choir though.

"Need me to wake you up with my sax?” He joked.

"No, I'm good now." I said walking into the Biomedical Science classroom.

I was about to lay my head down on my desk but I was cornered by Ivy. "After school today, meet me at the gym." She said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I have to see what you can do. It's been 3 years since you've been a gymnast." She said.

"I'm busy." I said hoping that that would work.

"With what? Volunteering at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital? I know your Father works there. I'm sure you can cancel one day." She said.

How the hell does she know that House is my Father? I guess Dunc could've told her but that's a bit much for him. It's not exactly a secret that I'm at PPTH all the time but my last name is Flynn.

Ivy sighed clearly noticing the gears turning in my head. "You don't know who my Mother is do you?" She asked.

"Uh no I don't really have the time to look into other people's lives." I shot back.

She rolled her eyes. "She's a lawyer. A Dr. Rose King is trying to sue Dr. Gregory House for custody of you."

I blinked. "Sorry what?"

Ivy faulted for a second. "Did you not know?" She asked.

I slumped further into the desk. Of course, she'd try to pull something like this. King has her own kid now for God's sake why can't she just leave me alone! Can't I get a break? "No, I didn't." I said.

Our teacher walked in and yelled at people to sit down.

~~~

I've never been one to skip school but there's a first time for everything. I managed to slip out during lunch. Not that it's that hard to do or anything it's more getting back in but I'm not planning on doing that anyway.

Dr. Cuddy was unfortunately in the lobby and spotted me instantly. "Jay?" She said looking confused and slightly worried.

"I need to speak to House." I said through gritted teeth.

Cuddy set down the file she was holding. "How about we talk in my office for a minute, it's been a while." She said.

I wanted to say no and march my way up the stairs straight to House's office but honestly my nerves were starting to wear thin. Anxiety about having to confront House. I just nodded and followed her.

After Cuddy closed the door to her office she spoke up. "You look terrible."

Yeah I've been getting barely any sleep and my uniform is a mess right now. I took a shaky breath. "I know."

"What's he done?" Cuddy asked.

I sighed. "Look it's complicated." I don't really want to talk to Cuddy about this. I don't want to talk to House about it either but you know…

"I almost didn't think it was possible for you to get angry." Cuddy said.

I guess that makes sense. For the most part I'm a pretty passive person sure I can be a bit of a sarcastic shit sometimes but when it comes down to it I normally back out of a fight. "Everyone has their limits." I grumbled and made my way to the door.

"Jay." Cuddy said, stopping me. "He does care about you."

I froze for a second. If he does he doesn't show it very well.

~~~

House was asleep in the chair near the door when I got to his office. I didn't wake him, instead I just sat at his desk and gathered my thoughts while messing around with the tennis ball.

My phone kept vibrating in my blazer so after a while I took it out. Dunc has been wondering where I am. I scowled slightly and turned off my phone. That's when I noticed House was awake. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he spoke up. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Yes." I said.

A few seconds of silence. "You found out." He said.

"Were you going to tell me?" I asked, trying to not let the anger creep into my voice.

A few more seconds of silence. "Eventually." House said.

I closed my eyes, still trying to keep my calm. "You didn't think I needed to know that the person I hate most in the world wants custody of me?" I asked.

More silence. I opened my eyes to House still  formulating a response. I noticed Dr. Taub idling near the door but I shot him an icy glare so he ran off while paging someone. "There's more than just the plane crash." House finally said.

I scoffed and stood up. He's right of course there's more to the history of me and Dr. Rose King but that isn't what this is about. All House cares about is finding out about the things that I keep hidden for a reason. "Of course that's what you jump on. Did you ever think for a moment just a moment that I came to talk to you about this not because I wanted you to ask me some more God Damn prying questions but MAYBE because I'm worried. I mean fuck I've never skipped school in my life before House. At least I had one decent parent as a kid." I exclaimed and stormed out shoving my way past Wilson who had just gotten to the door.

~~~

I wasn't even entirely sure how I ended up at the park. I knew I didn't take my car so I either took the bus or walked. Probably walked. I've been trying to clear my head not that it's been working too well. I found a park bench and sat down. My exhaustion suddenly hit me. Not just physical but emotional. I blinked a tear from my eye and fumbled my phone out of my blazer. I kinda expected it to be blowing up by now. Oh, right I turned it off in House's office. I waited for it to reboot.

I'm just so tired. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. Every time I think things might be okay for a bit something else happens. Can't I get a break? Can't I just get a normal life?

The texts and calls that I missed started to come in. Mostly from Dunc and Wilson but I was surprised to actually see a few from House. I blinked my eyes a few times to try to stay awake and texted Wilson saying where I was. I slid the phone back in my pocket and sighed.

"Jay!" Wilson said, making me jerk awake.

"Sorry." I mumbled and stood up. I was cold makes sense it's getting close to winter. I really shouldn't be doing something like this. Thankfully Wilson had grabbed one of my coats and gave it to me. I put it on.

"We are just glad you're okay." Wilson said.

I followed him to his car. My brain was still taking a bit to process things. He said We. That means him and House. Huh. Maybe Cuddy was right.

I had slumped in the passenger's seat almost instantly. Wilson was checking on me every few minutes as he drove.

"Dr. King never adopted you; she has no legal claim for custody. You shouldn't worry." Wilson said.

"I just want something in my life to not fall apart for once." I mumbled.

We spent the rest of the ride in silence.

~~~

The thing about living with two Doctors is that you're able to get Doctor's Notes fairly easily. So skipping school didn't actually end up being a problem. I just was like "Oh I forgot I had these Doctor's appointments!" And they were fine with it. I had to promise Wilson it wouldn't happen again but I'm not planning on it so that was fine. Dunc and Ivy didn't believe it though.

"You totally confronted your Father didn't you?" Ivy asked after I walked into the gymnasium. I spotted Dunc in the bleachers.

"Nah, definitely not ask Dunc I avoid confrontation like the plague." I lied.

"Dunc?" She asked.

He looked up from his homework. "He doesn't like calling me Lestrade and Jay definitely hates confrontation."

I set down my backpack and blazer on the bleachers next to Dunc.

"Are you going to refuse to call me Adler too?" She asked.

"Adler. Adler? Adler… yeah, no Ivy is better." I said while unbuttoning my dress shirt.

Ivy huffed. I stood in front of her. "Ready for your try out." I said.

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "You doing it in those pants?" She asked.

"Done it before and I'll do it again." I said and winked at Dunc who was half watching. He gave me a thumbs up.

She sighed. "Fine let's go."

The try out went smoothly. I could tell Ivy was impressed even though she was trying to hide it. It's actually the most fun I've had in a while. Dunc was recording quite a bit of it and thought I didn't notice. I'll have to ask him for the video later.

"You definitely aren't out of practice." Ivy said once we finished.

"Ah, something about flying through the air there's nothing quite like it." I said as I was putting my dress shirt back on.

Ivy nodded. "I'll have a talk with the rest of the team and get back to you." She said and left.

I sat down next to Dunc. "I lied." I said.

"I know." He said without looking up from his homework.

Jeez, does he know me that well already? "I still can't believe I actually did it honestly."

Dunc set his homework down. "How'd it go?" He asked.

"I dunno." I said.

"You don't know?" He pressed.

I sighed. "I kinda stormed out but it was interesting because it's the first time I've ever heard that House has been worried about me."

"Ah well, I don't envy you tonight." He said.

Yeah, I'm really not looking forward to getting home tonight. Things are super awkward right now.

"Hey, do you know if Ivy's a lesbian?" I asked, changing the subject.

Dunc raised an eyebrow. "I assume so but I think she's still closeted. Why?"

"Just curious." I said.

"Well, you're not her type. Even if she does like dudes." Dunc said.

"Oh okay, then hot shot what's Ivy Adler's type." I mocked.

"Jocks." He said simply.

Ah well, he's got me there. I'm more of a nerdy twink. "Oh, she's one of those people." I said.

"Oh, really what's your type?" Dunc asked.

"I don't know man! I've been a bit busy too figure that stuff out." I said.

"Right sure thing." He said sarcastically.

I huffed.

~~~

I had hoped that coming home after 10 PM would mean that I'd avoid House and Wilson but apparently not. They were on the couch watching TV when I walked in. Well, House was. Wilson was asleep with his head in House's lap. "Where have you been?" He asked quietly enough so that Wilson didn't wake up.

I kinda stood there for a second with a deer in the headlights look. "I had Cheerleading tryouts and after that, I had quite a bit of studying to catch up on." I replied. I never really expected House to be the "Where have you been?" Type Parent… My Mom yes totally. House? No. It's actually quite funny because my Mom never really questioned me when I turned up home late but she seemed like the type of parent that would.

"He okay?" I asked pointing at Wilson.

"He's been having migraines today." House said.

"Oh that sucks." I said. Didn't realize he got those.

"Well, I can see you're on the verge of falling apart so you're not doing any better." House retorted.

I didn't even protest that. He's right. I stood there blankly for a minute. "I'm sure it'll be fine." I mumbled before making my way to my room.

I was surprised to see a bottle of sleep medication on my nightstand. Prescribed for me by House. I guess he found out then. Finally got a decent night's sleep.

AN: FINALLY got Ivy now! Next Chapter introduces Bill so after that we’ll have all of the main cast! Also thank you everyone who is reading this I’m having fun writing but I always love when I have readers :)

#Blue Jay Series #writing

[onemistressandnomaster]

just watched teeth (2007) on netflix and had some thoughts

so the movie is about a girl, dawn, who is a part of a pro-abstinence group complete with purity ring and all that jazz. she develops a crush on this dude, tobey, and they go out to a cave one day, where they start making out, and then tobey predictably tries to rape her, and dawn discovers she has vagina dentata when her vagina bites his dick right off. hijinks ensue.

pretty much all the men are terrible in this movie, except dawn’s stepdad is kind of okay, if you look over the fact that he lets his creepy, abusive son stay in the house despite raising a ton of red flags like beating his girlfriend, sexually harassing dawn, and literally doing target practice with real bullets in the house. but seriously, all the men? Bad

tobey? he knows dawn is a fanatic about abstinence, and pretends to be one too. then he admits that actually he’s not really a virgin. then he starts making out with dawn. then he starts touching dawn’s breasts, even though she tells him not to. then he says, “you won’t have to do anything, you’ll still be pure in his [god’s] eyes”, strips off his pants, bangs dawn’s head against the cave wall, and tries to rape her, only for his dick to get snapped right off. that scene was actually hard to watch, mostly because dawn’s reactions to the attempted rape were real and upsetting, but also because you straight up see the dick fall onto the cave floor, and I find dicks gross when they aren’t all bloody, so that was kind of hard to get through.

creepy gynecologist? dawn goes to him to figure out what’s wrong with her after looking up ‘female genital mutation’, and he, being a fucking male gyno, decides to attempt to finger her in the guise of “examining” her. obviously she clues into what’s happening, and her vagina snaps his fingers right off. this is one of my worst nightmares (not that vagina detanta thing, the bad experience at the gynecologist). I am utterly terrified of going to a gynecologist, even though I know that female doctors can be requested, because of the vulnerability inherent in that kind of situation. that scene probably hit me the hardest, since it is one of my real life fears, though they kind of undercut the seriousness/horror of the scene when the doctor starts screaming, “AHH IT’S REAL VAGINA DENTATA VAGINA DENTATA!!!!”

ryan? okay, I almost stopped watching the movie because I thought this fucker wasn’t going to get his comeuppance. first of all, he looks almost exactly like tobey, so I spent the first fifteen minutes utterly confused about who was who. anyway, ryan is a dork who is shown to have a crush on dawn. he tries to ask her out, but since she had just recently snapped a dude’s dick off with her vagina, she was understandably not keen on going out with anyone else for the foreseeable future. this does not make ryan happy. so then later, dawn goes to his house in tears after her gyno visit because she thinks she needs a ~male hero~ to conquer her vagina dentata. and the filmmaker tricked me, I tell you, into making me think that ryan was really going to be the hero despite him very obviously being a dipshit. he drugs dawn while she’s taking a bath, then gives her wine, then fingers her with a vibrator, then has sex with her, and since she’s, you know, high, her teeth don’t activate. now I was fuming because I was thinking, “this motherfucker just raped her again! wake up, vagina dentata! snip snip!” but! the next day, dawn is getting ready to leave, and ryan is all, “let’s have sex again.” as they’re doing it, ryan gets a call from his friend. turns out the two had a bet--could ryan get prissy little dawn into bed? dipshit ryan decides to tell dawn about this bet while he’s balls-deep in her, prompting her to snap his dick off. and damn if that didn’t just restore my faith in this film, because I really was worried that the male director was going to fuck up and make this incel-looking ass be the conquering hero. but he wasn’t! though he does get his dick sewn back on later.

brad, the creepy brother? leaving aside the fact that his actor looks like a straight up demon (no offense), there are basically no redeemable qualities to this asshole. in the opening scene, he (as a child) whips his dick out to dawn, and then demands to see her genitals. then he tries to stick his finger up her vagina, but since she had the vagina dentata since infancy, she snipped the tip of his finger clean off. neither of them fully remember these events, but that is our introduction to brad, the ~8 year old trying to finger his little stepsister. and he continues to harbor a twisted crush on her. eventually, in the course of beating his girlfriend while they have sex, his stepmom/dawn’s mom collapses, but brad does nothing because, you know, who cares. the mother dies, and when dawn finds out that brad basically heard the mother screaming and falling and did nothing, she decides to snap his dick off. though she is trying to ~seduce~ him in a way, he tries to anally rape her, but she fights him off and gets him to stick his dick in her vagina, which promptly bites it off. he tries to insist that he loves her, and pleads with her not to leave him, but she isn’t fooled. it’s ambiguous as to whether he bled out or not, although there’s no chance of him getting his penis sewn back on because his dog, named mother, ate it. (this film is not particularly subtle. seriously. it’s a pretty good movie, but it is Not Subtle)

dawn’s character is interesting. she’s so naive, your heart almost breaks for her. and she’s so clearly been brainwashed by this abstinence group. she has sexual desires, but her mind links those desires to things like the gorgons, snakes, and scorpions. she’s never touched herself, because that is considered impure, so she has no idea what she has down there. there’s a scene that also hit me hard--in dawn’s health textbook, there’s a sticker over the diagram of the female genitalia because it is considered improper for students to see a vulva. there is no sticker over the penis diagram. about halfway through the film, dawn gets the sticker off and sees the diagram for the first time. there’s a funny kind of confusion there, with her even glancing down at her crotch in alarm, but for me, it’s so real. I could diagram a penis in 7th grade, no problem, but I had no idea what my body, my genitals, looked like. I had no idea how I was supposed to pleasure myself. boys were almost expected to masturbate, plus we went over extensively the whole phenomenon of nocturnal emissions, but girls? figure it out on your own, or never figure it out, who cares? it’s not like your pleasure is important. as tobey says when he starts his attempted rape, “you won’t even have to do anything.”

it is even sadder, though, that dawn basically has no sexual experiences throughout the movie that are 100% consensual and enjoyable. she tries to touch herself, only for her mind to force the image of a scorpion monster from a movie on her. tobey tries to rape her. ryan has “enjoyable sex” with her, but it’s only because she’s hopped up on drugs, and he wasn’t doing it because he cared about her, but because he wanted to prove his own masculinity to his friends. and then her sexuality basically becomes a weapon. on the one hand, I almost wanted a vagina dentata myself so I could be safe, knowing I had natural protection. on the other hand, is there any hope for women? it’s kill or be killed, dog eat dog. I should rephrase that--is there any hope for women with men? can dawn, after the events of the movie, ever find someone who will actually care about her sexual needs/desires, or will the men she meets only try to take advantage of her? even when someone like ryan comes along, who seems like he cares, he’s only pretending. who knows if this was the filmmaker’s intent, but the message of this movie to me is: trust no man. all men are out to get you. never forget that, never let your guard down, and always be prepared to use the weapons at your disposal. consider investing in a vagina dentata.

overall: I wouldn’t call any piece of media created by a man “feminist”, because I don’t think men can truly be feminists, only allies. however, I do think this movie had feminist takeaways and feminist undertones, and so I would recommend it to anybody interested in horror movies or horror/comedy movies (though probably no one will read this word vomit lol). don’t watch if attempted rape and body mutilation upsets you; do watch if watching shitty dudes getting their dicks snapped off is something you’re interested in.

#pop culture #my post #rape #males is the same #seriously i was like trying to melt my computer with my mind when i thought stupid fucking ryan was going to be the hero #i felt somewhat foolish afterwards but like i've been burnt before by media that purports to be feminist having some fuckboy be the hero in #the end #not this time!!!