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#but like... i didn't mean to.... i genuinely thought i was trans and was questioning my gender
babsaros · 3 months
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How did you know you were gay?
ah, couple reasons i guess. some that only became obvious with like 15 years of hindsight, and only after pulling myself out of the deep dark pit of compulsory heterosexuality.
like. classic symptoms of lesbianism include shamefully staring at the floor when you pass the women's underwear racks in the department store, even though you're not quite sure why you're uncomfortable. that sort of thing.
i have memories from early elementary school of accidentally glimpsing down a girl's shirt at recess and then bottling up that feeling and refusing to think about it. any time i had a crush on a boy, it was from an extremely idealized and safely non-actionable distance. the one time i did have a boyfriend, it was just my guy best friend from middle school, we dated for barely a school year before i ended it and the most physical intimacy i was ever comfortable with was holding his hand when we walked to class. i went to a different school's prom because a guy i was kind-of friends with asked me, and spent the whole night uncomfortably avoiding eye contact.
basically i started questioning my sexuality towards the end of high school, when i noticed myself getting like. jealous about my guy best friend's girlfriends?? like. i wanted to date them. i wanted to steal them from him lmao. i thought girls were pretty and soft and nice and cute and i was too afraid of being a predatory creep to do anything about it besides have far-fetched daydreams, but there was no heterosexual explanation. like, i hugged a girl i thought was pretty one time and it did things to my brain. that memory got locked in for life.
i identified as ace/pan early on, but again- compulsory heterosexuality. the idea of being with a guy romantically or sexually was never actually appealing. i had just been told that was what i was supposed to want my entire life, and the movies do a great job of selling that fantasy. but really i was just a lonely depressed helpless romantic teenager that wanted to be loved lol.
a large part of why i identified as asexual was because i was so sex-repulsed by the idea of penetration, honestly? (which i have since gotten over, but specifically Only with girls. the idea of having sex with a man still icks me out, and my preference is definitely femme-presenting ppl) a bit of it was probably also because i hadn't unpacked gender yet either. it made it very difficult to actually imagine myself having sex with anyone ever lol. this is gonna sound so cringe to say, but reading gay smut did awaken things in me.
in conclusion, tldr, i just like to think about tits and kissing women sometimes, idk. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.
#my paranoia is making me think anon is my mom or smth lmao#say something my mom would never fucking say. *gun.png* prove ur not my mom!!!! prove it motherfucker!!!!#if ur questioning ur sexuality my advice is just to explore#look at lots of different porn. try to figure out what attracts you and why#a lot of my kinks are actually divorced from gender tbh#at the height of my teenage repression i was actually reading gay voltron smut nightly#and in total denial like 'this doesn't mean anything about me. im so cis. i would know if i was trans.'#as if i didn't think the exact same shit about being gay. 'i would totally know if i was gay. i don't think about having sex with women'#because i didn't *let* myself think about having sex with women lmao#because i didn't *let* myself think about being trans- because it wasn't *safe* to be trans at the time#and figuring out the difference between 'do i want to look like this person or am i attracted to the way they look' is very tricky#and figuring out that you don't actually genuinely feel any of these implanted emotions about the opposite sex is hard too#sometimes it takes a while its okay#like looking back on my childhood fictional character crushes- it was always the women! i liked the way women looked!!#but i had been TOLD that i was a girl and so thought i HAD to be that and fall in love with a man#idk does any of this make sense lol#im a little sleep-deprived atm#i've been up a solid 24 hours#anonymous#ask#god the way i broke up with that boyfriend was so bad too oughhhhh#i've wondered a few times if i should shoot him a facebook message like 'hey sorry i dumped u like that and then we never talked again.'#'it turned out that i was neither a girl nor heterosexual. so. hope ur doin good!'
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zebrabyopn3 · 29 days
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I really believed things like "we shouldn't speculate about Aaron Bushnell possibly being a trans woman" and "we shouldn't dig too much and try to project meaning into the name of his accounts" and "don't inject white queerness into this discussion" and "if she is trans, it doesn't matter and it distracts from his sacrifice", and then, "do we only care about the Palestinian cause if a white, heroic trans woman is at the center of it?"
But, like. Did we really only care about his sacrifice once we knew that Aaron went by LilyAnarKitty in twitch, reddit and discord? Did we only care then, at that point? We didn't. We cared before that
I saw trans women asking if it was real; questioning if posting a picture of his flaming body was even necessary; warning people to not needlessly watch the video (thanks to those warnings I haven't watched it); sharing posts about it and talking about the importance of what he did; rejecting the idea that he was complicit in the genocide just by being an active member in the air-force; and rejecting the idea that his suicide was because of poor mental health
Saying that we did not care before we tried to project transfemininity into him is a ridiculously bad-faith interpretation of the sentiment of enemy-viv's post about Aaron's online presence
I didn't know Viv personally, nor did I reblog the post she made. I did read it, and I didn't know how to feel about it. I really thought we shouldn't speculate about Aaron's name in twitch. Then I learned about his choice of pronouns on discord. I knew about the comments he made to journalists and his choice of pronouns, so I decided to respect that, but I felt like Viv's post spoke about something important that I felt in my chest
Then, people attacked and harassed her for "not caring for Aaron's death, for Palestine, for the cause". And I stayed silent. I even thought they were right. It hurts. I feel like I failed Viv, despite not knowing her
She was bullied off the site for wondering if Aaron's sacrifice was also a sacrifice made in the closet, to not distract from the conversation in the public's eye. She made a post on tumblr about it. She did not personally distract everyone from his sacrifice until people decided to dogpile on her, make vague posts about her, sending other people anon's about her comments, harassing her until she decided to terminate her blog. Making a call out, pretty much. I thought we were over that. We learned nothing. People really decided to use their time to harass her rather than talk about Gaza
Never did she deny or question how meaningful his death was, nor did she say that Aaron's transfemininity made his sacrifice more virtuous, nor did she use his death to talk about how trans women are the only ones that care about Palestine, nor did she say there were no trans Palestinians, nor did she say that queer Palestinians aren't dying right now, nor did she say that we should stalk all of his online presence to be 100% sure of his transfemininity, nor did she say she wanted people to exclusively talk about Lily instead of Aaron's death or the struggle of Palestinians
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Viv's pain was genuine. She, and now I, felt that we might've possibly lost a sister. Regardless of that, we lost someone who made a sacrifice of a greater magnitude than anything we've ever done; someone who took a stance and called attention to how cruel the genocide of the Palestinians is, by going out in flames
And people used Viv's pain, her comments, her vulnerability to harass her to the point that she left. A lot of people just want to pretend that we can't think of Aaron's gender and identity in the context of his death, while also recognizing the importance of his sacrifice in boosting Palestinian's voices and condemning their genocide
Some of you don't love any trans woman you meet. It's too late
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windienine · 10 days
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the best game of 2024 was an hour-long visual novel demo, and i can't tell you how it ends
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attack and dethrone god.
okay. oh my god. soul of sovereignty by ggdg (of lady of the shard & deltarune fame) is discounted for only a few more days, so i need to get this one out while the iron's hot.
so: i'm inviting you along on another journey. we're following a polite gentleman of the wizardly inclination (loïc) who is approached by a sickly woman in dire need (ysmé). all she requests, in her plea, is an escort to guide her to the nearby temple. his decision to support her may turn out to be the most important choice he ever makes.
... have you ever enjoyed the kind of narrative that traps two people with heavily contrasting motives and personalities together in an unbreakable contract? do you like stories of absolute devotion?
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i could look at this shot forever ngl
... are you compelled by immersive speculative fantasy worlds where the use and study of magic heavily influences the rhythm of people's day-to-day lives?
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(really intriguing magical linguistics system going on here)
... do you ever promise too much of yourself to others, sometimes, even when it's a bad idea?
... if it was possible -- if you could -- would you abandon your humanity for the power to change your world forever?
and, whatever you may feel in your heart about the above...
do you want to see behind the eyes of a hot trans girl as she bullshits her way into a truly volatile level of power and influence and gets everything she wants?
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(+ her pet dilf lovely assistant)
if even one of these elicited a "yes," i think you'll love this story.
i'll go out of a limb:
i think, if you open up your heart, you'll find yourself falling for both of the leads. It's a game that really wants you to look at it from every angle, take it apart, and ask questions about loïc, ysmé, their stories, and what they believe to be true about the world and one another. subtext -- especially the charged subtext this story throws at you and hopes you'll piece together -- is a beautiful thing.
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the number of talksprites in this demo is kind of staggering
the jrpg-inspired world of the mosaic and its surroundings is as vibrant as it is profoundly lonely, color folded into every facet of its character as you move through it. appropriately, it's really invested in a lot of questions that arise not just from high fantasy as a genre, but from the modern fantasy sensibilities of jrpgs and the interrogation of what divinity even means in a world where the gods are forces you can interact with and draw power from, however indirectly.
what can i even say? that gg and toby fox's collab score for the prelude is downright heavenly and made it onto my work playlist right alongside the deltarune ost the day it came out on bandcamp? that gg's art, especially their use of light, conveys every scene with vivid beauty?
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i wouldn't be posting so much of it if i didn't want to eat every CG. oh my god. he's so pretty. it's not even fair
beyond all of that, i think the game's main resonance point with people is that gg's writing is genuinely thoughtful. they use art detail and deft character writing to convey everything about the leads, using the limited time you get with it to paint layers and layers of information on who these people are and why they make the decisions they do. soulsov's roughly an-hour-and-change of text, expressive talksprites, and lush CGs is infused with so much heart and so much horror and so much intrigue that it leaves you feeling like you're a part of this world, carried along for the ride right alongside the two leads. gg clearly really adores these two, and that level of passion makes everything loïc and ysmé do shine even brighter. in spite of (or perhaps because of) all their friction and flaws, they're easy to love.
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(it's really fun to read aloud as a script, too! ysmé's a hoot.)
i hope you experience it with high expectations and an open heart. i don't think it will disappoint. it is, perhaps, just a little bit magical.
i hope you see it through to the end!
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on-a-lucky-tide · 2 months
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Post-Surgery Day 35 (but three days late)
cw: surgery, bodies, medical
- Good news! The wound separation in my nipple has healed closed and scarred up, and all the scabs are gone. I'm so, so frickin' happy and glad I kept my anxiety in check over it. There were so many times I wanted to pull the scab away and see the damage, or send a billion questions to the surgeon. But I trusted what the nurse told me to do, and it's fine.
- I've been a biiiit naughty with the reaching and the stretching and I've got a bit of a ache in my ribs, like, just beneath the incision? I think it's muscular in that I've obviously been hunched over and fairly stationary while I heal. I figure I'll be getting some physio and exercises after my appointment in a week. The incisions are fine and neat AF, I can't remember whether I mentioned that the part under my arms is already so faint? I thought I'd need to get some tattoos to camouflage it but I don't think I will.
- Still chonk. Sigh.
- I am exhausted after my first week (and a half) back at work. I've been relatively good and not lifting stuff too heavy, or reaching too high. My colleagues have been awesome, and I mean awesome. I've received so many hugs and big smiles; they genuinely missed me, which... I'm actually shocked? I didn't realise how much healing I still have to do in terms of self worth. The damage done by a handful of people a year or so ago has clearly impacted quite deep. But, anyways, people keep coming up to me to tell me their kid is trans or non-binary or gay, or they know someone who is, or their kid's partner is... They are so excited about it.
- I have had one encounter with someone I think has terfy leanings. It was an assessor from a training body we use for our trainee teachers. She kept using my deadname, even though her institution has been updated. Now, I need these teachers to pass so I bit my lip. My headteacher, however, a big Welsh dude, informed her that if she couldn't address his teachers with respect she could leave the premises. I was... shocked. So was she. I was named appropriately for the rest of the day, and when I thanked him later he just said that some people have no class, and ambled off to herd some kids. 🤣
- My driving license came through! That's the second government body that has acknowledged my new name and gender. My bank is sorted too. I'm going to sort out the mortgage (second bank, land registry), the vehicles (car and bike) and my passport. The passport I am worried about because I've reached that they can be picky about the GIC. We'll see.
- I am delivering a conference for the first time tomorrow as myself and I'm actually a little bit nervous? I don't think anything of talking to rooms full of 100s, usually. I'm an expert in my field and that's why I'm there. But. As me now? The person I've had to keep protected and quiet for years? Scary.
- Six more days until my final appointment with my surgeon. I hope I get good grades in healing so I can go back to the gym. :3
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Why Wishverse Buffy Fuels my "Buffy Summers is nonbinary" head canon
I will write my entire Non-binary Buffy meta post someday but it's a lot and for now I've got people asking about my wishverse + gender thoughts so I went ahead and wrote this piece of it. Wishverse!Buffy raises a lot of questions about Buffy's gender identity and gender expression. Like, why is Our Buffy so insistent that's she's Definitely A Girl with a feminine gender presentation when Wishverse!Buffy Who Has No One To Impress And Doesn't Care How She's Perceived presents as butch or masculine or even transmasc?
And this change in presentation isn't just the result of Wishverse!Buffy having nothing in her life outside of slaying. We've also met another Slayer (Kendra) who has no friends, no family, no one to impress except her Watcher who only cares about her usefulness as a Slayer, who still presents as feminine? We also meet Faith who only really has Buffy in her life to care about for a lot of s3 but Faith + gender is a whole other post (and this is not that post haha so we're not going there today).
Wishverse!Buffy is the ONLY TIME in canon that we meet a Buffy who doesn't care at all about how people perceive her, and she drops a lot of her femininity. Since Kendra's Watcher didn't try to take her own femininity from her—I mean, the girl named her own stake because she has nothing to care about besides weapons but her Watcher buys her jewelry and makeup?—surely Wishverse!Buffy also had wardrobe options and she chose THIS. Also I can understand why Buffy's Cleveland Watcher insisted she lose the dresses and skirts and heels from her wardrobe, but Buffy did have athletic wear we saw her training in sometimes in the library, so why did Wishverse!Buffy go out and buy herself completely new clothes? And instead of shorts and sports bras and t-shirts she chose this??? She took the time to buy a cross but no chain for it! That looks like she tied it into jewelry herself. Just...look at her:
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Also WHY in season 2 when Buffy meets Kendra for the first time does Buffy suddenly have the queerest outfit she's ever worn in her entire life and Kendra looks so gorgeous and feminine and put together? What were the costumers trying to say?? Buffy looks like a lesbian. Or I know non-binary and transmasc people who dress like that (myself included sometimes). Oversized shirts help so much with chest dysphoria and/or achieving a more masculine appearance I'm just saying.
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Actually she kind of looks like Oz and that guy has the most trans guy style and energy ever???
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I digress. Wishverse!Buffy is not Buffy simply choosing not to care about hair and makeup and fashion because she's depressed. Look at s5 and s6 Buffy. She is so depressed, so Not Okay, but there's one key difference between these two characters: unlike Wishverse!Buffy, canon Buffy cares SO DEEPLY about what others think of her. She even says as much to Spike:
BUFFY: I guess. Everyone...they all care. They all care so much, it...makes it all harder. SPIKE: I'm not sure I followed you around that bend, love. BUFFY: I don't know. I just, I feel like I'm spending all of my time trying to be okay, so they don't worry. It's exhausting. And then, I... SPIKE: And that makes 'em worry even more. (6x04 Flooded)
MY POINT IS the only time Buffy stops focusing so much on what others think about her and stops performing for others and simply allows herself to exist, she stops performing a lot of femininity and gender stuff as well. And I do think Buffy finds some enjoyment in being feminine and fashion, but how much of it is genuine enjoyment and how much is Buffy earnestly saying "I'm a normal girl and no one can say otherwise, look at how normal I am, I am the girliest girl who ever girled!!!!!" As in, Buffy's insistence that she's a girl isn't actually about wanting people to think she's a girl. It's about wanting people to think she's "normal," and that means them seeing her as a girl. When she actually isn't (a girl), because she's non-binary.
Also I KNOW that gender expression =/= gender identity, but since we are not Buffy and therefore cannot know what she thinks and how she would identify if given the education and label options, we can only look at what she says and how she dresses and acts. Buffy Summers is non-binary TO ME. And Wishverse!Buffy is a piece of why I think so. Meta post incoming one day when I write it all down.
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badaziraphaletakes · 29 days
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Assuming best intentions: are people maybe submitting screenshots to you with the usernames already cropped out? and if you don’t follow that one person’s blog yourself, were you unaware just how many of your posts feature the same person over and over? I can tell you by looking at your posts the last several days/weeks that it’s well over half. Anyone who does follow that blog can recognize the text in the screenshots and can see that you do repeatedly end up going after them in particular. If that genuinely was not intentional… is that not maybe an upsetting realization? that you’ve accidentally been contributing to someone’s harassment for weeks on end? to the point that they’re now making posts about leaving the fandom?
(Found the ask it was in my Drafts folder wahoo!)
This is the first we've heard of that. Thanks for bringing that to our attention.
Yes, I'd say 75% of the time, they are submitted to us with the usernames cropped out.
And I wouldn't recognize who posted what, because I don't read any GO blogs anymore because of the bad experiences I've had (literally this blog is the only space in the fandom I feel safe).
As to your question-
It depends on what you mean by "contributing to someone's harassment". (Stay with me. I'm not trying to split hairs.)
I'm not sure what precisely has made this person talk about leaving the fandom. (Which I don't want anyone to do.) If it's because people are targeting them directly (which is what I would call harassment) by tracing our posts back, then... wow that just amazes me that people have that much time on their hands?? I would not have expected anyone to waste their time doing that, and if people are doing that because of this blog, I'm truly disamyed.
The whole point of not featuring handles was to avoid that. If anyone is doing that... please stop?? That is not what this blog is about and I'd feel bad if anyone thought that's what we wanted. (Although it should be obvious from the fact that we don't feature handles that we don't want that. I'd say we've exercised due diligence by cropping/crossing them out.)
Like, I can't believe I'm having to say this, I shouldn't have to say this, but please do not track down and heckle the people who write the posts we feature. We do not condone that.
Because no, we don't want anyone to leave the fandom. I (Mod X) started this blog because I didn't want to leave the fandom. I've had dozens and dozens of queer and trans and Autistic and neurodivergent and fat people and trauma and ab*se survivors message me saying this blog is the only reason they haven't left the fandom.
Oh also people are free to message us and say "those are my takes" but so far only one person has.
That's all for now. Going to think it over and ponder whether there's anything I want to add.
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roadhogsbigbelly · 3 months
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you can say what you want now but you decided to start this campaign because she said stardew valley isn’t anti-capitalist. you targeted a trans woman for pedojacketing because she criticized your cozy farms game.
ok let me get this straight.i did not criticize her because she didn't like the ideology in stardew valley. i thought her take on incest shipping was dumb before that, it's why i made this post
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i made this before i even saw the stardew valley take. and when i did post a take on it it it didn't use names and censored the names in the post i showed. as for it being a "targeted harassment campaign" my inital post only got like 70 notes before i deleted it and i didn't really expect she'd see it all. it wasn't until i woke up with death threats in my inbox that i realized she found out she saw it.
and i'm not saying i received death threats to try to garner sympathy, death threats are bad obviously, but even people who deserve to be harshly criticized receive death threats, doesn't mean they deserve it, but it doesn't suddenly make other criticism invalid. i'm mentioning said death threats because i genuinely would of not have made any more posts discussing this if i wasn't informed anyone important actually saw it.
i'm not sure how popular txttletale is, she regularly get's posts in the 20k but to be so do i sometimes? although most of my posts about this situation only get like 40 to 200 notes which them being split by positive and negative engagement, while her posts about the situation seem to get around 1k to 3k notes with most of them being positive? so it seems more people generally agree with her than me, which isn't to say that automatically "makes me in the right" or "the underdog" but you can see why i feel the need to defend myself and "double down" right?
like this isn't this first time i've been "harassed at a massive scale" but calling THIS that is admittedly an overstatement considering i've only recieved like 3 death threats and accusations of transmisogyny when i've gone through WAY worse, like when i got harrassed and sent death threats and drawn cp for saying "the arby waifu" is cringe (look that up), or sent deaths threats by radfems for linking an essay written by a trans woman that i thought was a great discussion on gender, or sent death threats for radfems for saying that i thought sex work was alright. oh also i got harrassed by pewdiepie fans but does anyone even remember him? so like yeah comparatively this is nothing
the only reason this DOES sting is because i've lost some mutuals over this, not even because "they chose her over me" or other dumb shit like that but because they were just tired of seeing the discourse which fair enough.
and to be honest i don't really think txttletale is like. a bad person or whatever. i'm sure she has been harrassed before, and i do genuinely respect some of her opinions like her more nuanced takes on ai or sex work or whatever. to be honest i wouldn't have made a big deal about the stardew valley take if it wasn't for that one incest post which is what i'm stuck on because they're are a ton of bloggers on here that i otherwise respect who occasional endorse or parrot beliefs i think suck because it doesn't have a big glowing "pedophilia is bad" button on it. i don't hate the take because SHE agreed with it, i think the take is bad no matter who it's coming from. i hate this idea that "age play" or "incest shipping" exist in a bubble because it doesn't, i do genuinely know people who were hurt by it, and it's just really sad seeing people i otherwise respect who seem to care about homophobia or transphobia or racism in media kind of just dismiss concerns of post's that could be potentially endorsing shitty beliefs. it's tiring.
so uh. yeah i guess that's it? any more questions?
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moongothic · 6 months
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Yeah hello hi I've been falling deep into the Crocodad Rabbithole and my brain is being consumed by small crocodile-shaped worms
So I've done what any reasonable person would do, I went back to rewatch some scenes from Alabasta and Marinford to psychoanalyze Crocodile and try to figure out what the fuck his deal is because genuinely the more I think about it the more questions I have and the more I want answers. And because I'm deranged I need to write all my thoughts down into an incoherent essay and release it into the world
So please, come along with me while and let's be Extremely Normal About Sir Crocodile Together and speculate about his ~Secret Past~
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Quick note, my quickest access to some of these episodes is either through unsubbed episodes (not bothering with getting screenshots since there's no subs, also my Japanese is plenty good enough to not need it here) or through Ancient, Questionable Fansubs so don't get too hung up on the phrasing in the subbed screenshots- like they're not entirely inaccurate but y'know
The reason I want to do this is just that... Like I've been a fan of OP since 2008, when I was in middle school. I don't think I ever really tried to think deeper about this series in general at that time, because I was a kid. For a long time to me Crocodile had just been Some Greedy Asshole who tried to take over a country to obtain a tool of mass destruction and IDK destroy the world? Just a very classic Bad Guy McVillianMan, because I had not bothered to think about his character and question anything before.
But now I have brainworms due to the Crocodad Theory, and this is fucking One Piece, you never fucking know how deep a rabbithole can go with this bloody series. So let's go, let's try to figure out what the fuck is Crocodile's deal, because I need to get these brainworms out of my fucking system
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I just want to start with this one quick throw-away line because it's kind of a sidenote. Also like. This is such a funny fucking thing for Crocodile to say if he is Luffy's dad. Like.
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That's so fucking funny if he's Luffy's dad holy shit
But what really gets me here is that like... Like while I'm like 70% sure Crocodile is trans, there's still a part of me that's like "there's no fucking way Crocodad is real". Let alone, this be some kind of a hint Oda planted to suggest that this early on. Like it sounds absurd. And yet at this point in One Piece, Oda had already started planning out and laying out the groundwork for so many lore and plot-relevant concepts, ranging from shit like everything about Robin, the Poneglyphs, the Ancient Weapons etc. He had already started the "Prince Sanji ARG" (aka dropping the tiniest fucking hints to Sanji's Hidden Backstory that people were able to pick up on and make accurate predictions with about Sanji's backstory). There's fucking Laboon, and about a bajillion other things. And possibly most importantly, by this point Oda had already revealed both Luffy's father and grandfather to the readers, not to mention he even introduced Ace and vaguely hinted at Sabo! It's not like Oda had everything perfectly planned out from the very begining, that is objectively not the case at all. But it also literally would not be unlike Oda to drop hints to a character's backstory like this. He has been doing that for years, and had already started by the time we met Crocodile. Like it feels insane and yet it's perfectly plausible. And if he had Luffy's dad, grandfather and two siblings planned out in his head already at this point, it should not be that much of a stretch to believe that Oda knows and no doubt has known for the past two decades who Luffy's mom is (regardless of if that's Crocodile or not)
All this to say. Crocodile's comment about what Cobra said to Vivi when they reunited is a funny, sarcastic comment. But it would take a whole new meaning if Crocodad was real. Because it really would be perfectly normal if he did/had wondered what he would say to his long lost child if they were ever reunited. And really that just makes his roast turn sad.
Anyways
In Alabasta, we do get a very clear image that Crocodile does not like the World Government, not just because he's a Big Meanie Pirate who wants to conquer the world, but because he does seem to look down on how the Marines + World Government do their "justice" (which, y'know, knowing what we know now about the Government. Fair. That's entirely fair.)
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He also dislikes Vivi's "idealism" of wanting to save everyone without bloodshed or anyone losing their lives (especially for her sake)
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We learn that he is a broken man with broken dreams. Also he seems to be aware where he (supposedy) belongs in the Grand Line's power hierarchy, as in, he needs Pluton because he knows he's not strong enough in combat that he could take down anyone, let alone the World Government by himself (though he would still make a beeline for Whitebeard's head the second he saw him at Marinford, which, y'know, bold move)
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And of course, we learn in Impel Down that Crocodile and Iva-chan have some beef. We can not say for 100% sure what that beef is (like the theory he's trans is very obvious and plausible, but until Oda spills the beans we won't know for a fact what the beef is), but we know that they knew each other. And if Crocodile knew Iva-chan, a high-ranking founding member of the Revolutionary Army, then it is genuinely plausible that Crocodile could also have known Dragon and/or been a member of the Revolutionary Army as well.
Since overthrowing the World Nobles and the Government are the Revolutionary Army's goal, the fact that they're trying to obtain weapons and people for their cause etc, Crocodile's view of the Government and his "Operation Utopia" does kind of align with the Revolutionary Army's
But we did also learn from Iva that "Crocoboy" isn't quite trustworthy. Needless to say, even if Croc used to be a part of the Army, he most certainly left YEARS ago, and clearly not on good terms.
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Also, an interesting note, is that at Marineford when Luffy and co finally arrive at the battlefield (episode 466, 17:25 minutes in), when Garp spots the group, he makes a specific comment about Crocodile being there together with the revolutionaries and the prison escapees, believing they can't all be here to fight for the same cause. Which is an interesting thing for him to point out specifically. Like Jinbei was another powerful person who entered that battlefield at the same time, and while Jinbei did clarify to Sengoku that he's quitting being a Shichibukai and was there to save Ace, it's still maybe a little odd Garp didn't think it was worth mentioning that Jinbei had also "allied" with the prison escapees and the revolutionaries to enter the battlefield. Like it was Crocodile only whom he thought needed to be pointed out. I don't think Garp's comment adds at all to Crocodad because it would frankly make little to no sense (like we're all assuming Crocodile didn't know Dragon's lastname, which is why he never realized Luffy was his son (despite knowing Luffy's lastname), but if Crocodile knew Garp was Dragon's father then surely he'd realize Dragon's lastname would be Monkey, right), but it could maybe add to the idea that Crocodile might've been a part of the Revolutionary Army in the past, as Garp could be aware of something like that, thus he'd be puzzled by Crocodile's presencee. Point is, it's an interesting comment, make of it what you will
EDIT 2: Ended up going back to reread parts of Marineford and turns out ^that^ was an anime-only addition from Toei. Like Garp does make a comment about how these people probs aren't at the battlefield for the same reasons but did not specifically point out Crocodile or anything. So. I wasted enough time adding these paragraphs to the post, I ain't deleting 'em. But y'know.
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EDIT: Minor addition, because I just remembered how Crocodile really went like out of his way to taunt Vivi about how she "can't stop the rebellion" and save her people. Which, y'know, is a perfectly normal Villian Thing To Do. But we know Crocodile does not think fondly of the World Nobles just like he dislikes the Government. Even if Cobra was a "good monarch" who genuinely cared for his people, he was still a king, and the Nefertari family and the Kingdom of Alabasta were a part of the World Government. The thing Crocodile specifically wanted to destroy. And this is just another one of those "surely that wasn't somekinda foreshadowing" but god fucking dammit what if Crocodile telling a(n unknowing) representative of the World Government that she can't stop "the rebellion", or the revolution if I may, (regardless of if he's allied with them or not) was actually meant to be like foreshadowing. Oda I swear to fucking god---
Anyway, so, Crocodile might've been a part of the Revolutionary Army at one point (the army was formed after the Ohara Incident 22 years ago, and for Crocodad Theorizing, Luffy was born 19 years ago), but if he did he must have left on bad terms for unknown reasons, and we can tell that although his goals in general could vaguely match that of the Revolutionaries, his methods most certainly don't.
Whether or not his methods and his worldview tie to his leaving the Army is unknown. Because we don't really know when and how his worldview was formed.
Like did Crocodile leave the Army because he became a cynical asshole who was willing to make any kind of sacrifice for his goals (thus he no longer fit in with the rest of the Revolutionary Army), realized he was far too weak to ever become Pirate King and thus decided to go looking for Pluton? Or did Crocodile suggest to the Army they should try to obtain an Ancient Weapon to keep casulties to a minimum (still in line with the Army), only ending up getting kicked out (big weapon bad), and soon realizing he had no chance at making a change in the world without "cracking a few eggs"?
Like it doesn't nececarily make a massive difference,, since the end result is still the same, but it does kind of affect the context and how one might view him, right
Of course, there's then the Forbidden Third Option, that Crocodile left due to
Gender issues (internalized shame of being trans and not having it in him to stay around people who had known him)
Postpartum depression
Dragon just divorced Crocodile either due to being straight (in a sad, accepting way) or due to being simply unaccepting and frankly homophobic, regardless, Crocodile leaves with a broken heart
Something else and/or a combo of the above, really, we could speculate endlessly here about what could've happened
(Though I will say that Crocodile's '"trust issues"' and how he views people as disposable could like. I dunno. Be explained if he had gone through some heartbreak and was left permanently unable to open up to people, let alone trust anyone)
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I dunno, there's a lot of options, a lot of things to considder.
But there is one more thing that I do want to note on as it could potentially debunk the Crocodad Theory entirely.
It's that Iva-chan didn't know Dragon had a son.
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(Episode 441, 9:50 minutes) By which I mean, Iva-chan wasn't shocked to find out Luffy was Dragon's son, rather, they were shocked there was a son to begin with. (To the point they thought Ace was also Dragon's son until Luffy cleared it up for them later) While it's not a massive leap to believe that Crocodile and Dragon knew each other (since Crocodile knew Iva-chan), nor is it a massive leap to believe that Iva-chan transed Crocodile's gender after having Luffy... It does become a bit of a leap to believe Iva-chan didn't know about Dragon having a child with Crocodile before giving Croc the Magic HRT. Like if they had a relationship that resulted in a baby and a divorce, how did Iva not know about any of it, especially when it's more than likely that Iva could not have transitioned Crocodile until after the baby was born (let's not think about how Iva-chan's powers would work on a pregnant person too much)
We do also get this flashback (in episode 441, immidiately after Luffy reveals his dad's identity to Iva) where Iva-chan questions Dragon about how he always stares out towards East Blue when the wind blows, wondering if Dragon has family out there whom he's thinking about (Dragon refusing to comment on it). This does very much confirm that regardless of who Dragon had Luffy with, Iva has no fucking clue who, where and how any of that happened. And althought I personally feel like Iva not knowing would debunk Crocodad, if Crocodile still somehow was Luffy's dad, Iva-chan would canonically not know about it. If Iva didn't know Dragon had a relationship that resulted in a baby, then regardless of if Iva even knew Crocodile got pregnant once, they would not be able to connect those dots.
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Now let's be clear, there's many potential scenarios where Crocodad could still be real, scenarios that could explain why and how Iva-chan didn't know about Luffy nor about Dragon and Crocodile having a relationship*. Like it would not be difficult at all to come up with an explanation for it. But in my mind, I feel like the more you have to figure out and explain how the theory could still be plausible, the less plausible it actually feels. Like the more I need to go out of my way to explain it, the more forced it seems.
*(For example, maybe the two kept their relationship a secret, and when Crocodile got pregnant he """left on a mission""" that happened to take like 4-10 months, during the time realizing he was trans. Once the baby had arrived he returned the baby to Dragon in secret for him to deal with, got a divorce for one reason or another*, and sought out Iva-chan to start a new life, Iva thus never found out about anything, just knew that Crocodile left one day after coming out. Like that's one plausible scenario.)
*Hey remember the potential Forbidden Reasons to why Crocodile might've left the Army? What if it was Dragon's and/or Crocodile's idea? Remember how when Jinbei is trying to escape Marinford with the unconcious Luffy, Crocodile tells Jinbei to do better job at "protecting those he wants to protect", a line that felt really sudden and odd coming from Crocodile of all people? What if the two knew their child would be in grave danger if he was ever raised within the army (absolutely not a place for a baby)? What if they knew their baby would become a target for the World Government to hunt, much like Roger's lost child was, if the Government found out Dragon had a baby? What if they wanted to make sure nothing bad ever happened to their baby and were willing to do anything to protect the baby? Even if it meant they'd never see their child grow up? Even if it meant hiding your child from your best friend, pretending to have a horrible fallout with them and transing your gender because Oda doesn't know what gender dysphoria is? Just so nobody would ever find out you had a child?
Mind you. I do not want anybody to think this is an actual argument for Crocodad. Like I could write a dozen different fanfics about how Crocodile could be Luffy's other dad, and they would all be just as much pure speculation with nothing to support them as the above suggestions. It is an example of what could have happened, and a deeply interesting thought, but it is just a theory at best.
In the end, it doesn't really matter though, because until the day Oda reveals Luffy's mom and/or Crocodile's backstory to us, we will truly never know for sure What The Fuck Crocodile's Deal Is
And I'll be just stuck with these brainworms, making myself sad by thinking about sad scenarios where Crocodad could be real, because truly, if it's canon, ain't no way it won't be sad
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EDIT 3: Originally I thought it'd be good enough if I just rewatched some parts here and there, but in the end I just fucking absolutely caved the fuck in and went and reread The Good Parts of Marineford. Mainly because I knew I was forgetting things and Toei adding/changing things can affect a character reading. Also it was just going to be easier to go through the manga and literally just all of Crocodile's scenes into an image folder for easier browsing, mainly because there's so much shit that happens between those scattered scenes it can be hard to like focus on one thing (especially if you're trying to specifically FIND those scattered scenes and appearances)
So yeah. Coming back a few days later to add shit to this god forsaken post. I need help
Actually changed my mind and made a separate post to continue this nonsense, enjoy
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northern-passage · 1 year
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Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.
no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.
however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.
and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?
so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.
also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.
basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?
#hopefully this better explains what i was trying to say#again no worries anon i've had this exact conversation before with other trans people#and it's something that i don't think has a perfect solution esp with the current... climate#and especially online with the anonymity it makes these topics really touchy. you don't know who is reading this or who is interacting#if it's sincere or in bad faith#things have changed a lot in the IF community for the better but it's still not safe and i always advocate for an author to protect#themself first#back when i started tnp it was not at all common for ppl to list characters as cis#really it was only nb or trans characters that got listed in that way#and it's why i chose not to do that and why i wanted the player to find out lea and merry was trans at the same time as the hunter#same with noel and clem and their privacy#giving them that agency was important to me#and it's still important to me now#but i got a lot of harassment because of that. the lea reveal didnt even end up in game it was on the blog and it was weeks of harassment#afterwards that still makes me anxious to this day whenever i talk about lea's transness#so basically like. it comes down to what someone is comfortable with and what they're mentally able to handle#edit: thinkin abt it more &im going to be honest if someone sent me an ask that said ‘what does it look like’ i would be very Not Happy#like cis people & cis characters do Not get treated that way so why would i allow it for my trans characters#so i stand by saying that these asks are inappropriate like. i obviously dont know the context of what ur referencing#but that’s a hard no from me personally either way#to me as a trans person that question in itself is othering and objectifying#ask#anonymous
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hugduckhesgay · 1 year
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About Fluffybird, what do you think about the ship? What is your opinion and analysis about the relationships between the two?
righto heheh let's crack into these chuddy Ds--
tldr; fluffybird is the purest ship and it would be great if it became explicitly canon
first of all, I think the creators shipped fluffybird before they saw all the fanart! Duck and Red Guy's interactions even in the webseries have sweetness, and can be perceived as a suggestion of romance. Though these interactions could be platonic as well, the possibility of romance is there, and that's all any slow-burn romantic storyline starts as. maybe one day i'll list those telling moments, but that's a lot of work. lol. Back to the creator's shipping, idk, that's just speculation, but I think they easily had a fondness for red guy and duck's brand of affection for each other.
There are random moments that are just so shippy. I think these have all been pointed out by other ppl. Duck painting Red Guy as Red Guy stands like that?
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c'mon. The fact that they both want to be the dads? why put that idea in our heads? When red guy says his fav color is medium brown and duck's eyes are MEDIUM BROWN? I like to think that everything the creators have chosen to do is intentional and serves some kind of purpose other than comedic value... could be wrong there, but it's what I'd like to think. oftentimes the jokes have meaning behind them after all.
As for their dynamic, it is really interesting and nuanced! I don't rly see any hate between them, tho there ain't nothin wrong with liking the "divorced" dynamic. what I think is that they are made unaware of the feelings they have for each other. The 3 are constantly in a state of disorientation. I've seen people say that the fridge scene is one of the only times they get close to voicing their genuine thoughts and feelings without being controlled in some way, and I agree. however, when it comes down to it, duck displays great attachment to red guy, always looking at him for protection or initiative, wanting to be a family with him, etc. for red guy, well, we all saw what happened when duck died. he lost his damn mind, and he didn't expect to. it's like, as I said, he has feelings for duck that he isn't conscious of.
i have a bad silly theory that duck and red guy were in love and together before they became puppets or something lol. i dunno, it's possible for all we know.
now i want to address the arguments against having red guy and duck having a canon romantic relationship ((and it seems like very few people seem to have arguments! this fandom is fluffybird all over<3). it sucks, but i feel like most of these arguments are charged with homophobia or just romance shaming. romance is already present in the show, and it's all been cishet (superficially. B nice if chars came out as trans canonically? Lol). Yellow and Speshul One, Yellow and Clair. Regardless of context, romance is already present, and why does no one get upset about it? Because it's cishet, i'd argue. no one even notices it. now these are obviously satirical presentations which i thank god for, but it's still there.
we also already have tender moments between the three main guys. people might argue that 'why can't two guys just be friends?!?!' yeah, they can, and they are across 99% of media. is 99% of portrayals not enough? there is so little lgbtqia+ content that this argument is just ridiculous.
there's the argument that romance would 'ruin' the show somehow. sounds like an internalized problem to me tbh. adding romance wouldn't detract from the existing elements of friendship; it would embellish that, presenting a unique relationship that does not conform to the restrictive standards of society. (this would not be the case for a cishet romance, though I won't go into that.)
if people have a problem with fluffybird, I think they really gotta ask themselves why, really question where those feelings of discomfort are coming from. it's not like i'm asking for a nsfw scene. i think red guy and duck would have a romantic love language that is completely unique, like their confession to each other in the fridge scene. The way this show subverts tropes and makes things so weird, it would be so cool to see how it handles a genuine romance. I imagine it would be cuddly and lots of sweet words to each other, like what they do now but more explicit in that it is romantic love.
Anyway fluffybird is the purest ship I ever
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public-trans-it · 11 days
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If you are trans, how do you have an alter that isn't? (I'm asking out of ignorance and genuine curiosity, not malice. I know you haven't had the best anons lately)
Thank you for the parenthetical on that one. I didn't read it that way at all, but I appreciate someone going out of their way to specify that it's just curiosity and not someone sealioning. I also just love parentheticals in general. Feel free to ask more, or DM me! I'm happy to go into more depth.
The answer is quite simple: I'm just gonna force femme him, duh. (Okay, no, not really)
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A warning upfront: This post is likely going to be written by multiple alters. Expect sudden shifts in tone, as well as shifts between first - and third-person perspectives. It's also gonna be a lot of rambling. I'm going to fucking hate it tbh. But I'm also more than happy to elaborate on specifics. The joys of having conflicting opinions on a single topic.
For context, this ask is in reply to this previous post I made about DID, how I feel names relate to it, and how i feel my experience differs from other peoples. In it, I mention that not all of my alters are trans.
It just feels... cringe. Like, I know that is probably certainly internalized ablism. But any time I discuss my own internal thought processes and the fact that there are just straight up other versions of me in there, I can't help but think I feel like one of those really awkwardly written teenagers in media who like... pretend to be possessed by demons and stuff. Part of it is also a little bit of fear.
That was... a bit of an oversimplification. It is rather difficult to go into detail, especially when the alter in question is the one who least likes talking about the experience of being plural.
While I don't talk about it with others, and will absolutely interrupt any attempts to map it out, I AM at least somewhat aware of how my system is shaped and who is in it. And that not everyone who used to be in it is still in there. There are versions of myself that are just... gone. And I know one of the things that results in that is too much internal reflection. So I just... don't.
Am I trans? I mean, Ceetee is, and I'm Ceetee, so probably. But I'm also the one who doesn't have that luxury. I'm the one who has to go to work. I'm the one who has to go by He/Him pronouns. I'm the one who answers when someone calls our deadname. And that is too important a part to risk losing to introspection, and the effect that has on us.
We are on HRT, the body we are in is going to change. We are looking forward to potentially going under the knife in the future. Lipofilly, vaginoplasty, etc. That's going to complicated things. I genuinely don't even know if I will still exist after that. I have plans on how to handle our social transition, that might make it smoother, but... again, I don't have the privilege of thinking on it too much.
Its... really difficult to write this out honestly. All of our discussion happens internally, thanks to us losing our amnesiac barrier a few years ago (thank God for that. Huge increase to our quality of life.) We would probably benefit from just making a discord server for just us, and using pluralkit or the like to talk with each other. But the idea of differentiating each other externally is HORRIFYING.
So instead, I'm the one handling our HRT. I have to, because he isn't willing to for the reasons mentioned above. And I can't even really discuss it well because he gets in the way a lot. Which I don't fault him for, it's his job, it's literally why he exists, and the several years I went with him not being involved socially were... extremely rough. I genuinely feel privileged to have him taking the brunt of all that for me. The nice thing about DID is it's actually a GREAT way to delegate tasks. If he represents the parts of us that don't have the privilege of changing, I can represent the parts of us that can.
But the truth is, all of us in here are undergoing an HRT we don't actually WANT. It gets us closer to a more comfortable body to live in, but it will never be possible to achieve a body ALL of us are happy with. We all have different gender goals, and as long as we are all stuck in the same body, there is no such thing as 'Gender affirmation'. That's why I use the label Aegogender. Looking it up, there is... not a lot of description of it. But for me, it has a very clear interaction with dissociative disorders.
I'm not genderless. Every single one of us in here has a gender. And they are not all the same. Which means our system cannot have a single gender. ANY transition will, by definition, go against the goals of others in the system. There is no way for all of us to be happy in this body, as long as we all have to share a single body. My "true" ideal body, would be an incorporeal hivemind piloting 3 or 4 bodies. Leaving us all connected to each other, but with our own individuality.
This is, obviously, NOT POSSIBLE. So HRT is the compromise.
Every single one of us is trans, even the one still going by He/Him and using our deadname. And so, just becoming something DIFFERENT is good enough for now. No solution has to be perfect forever. If we need to do something different in the future, we can just do something different in the future! We don't NEED to figure all of this out now.
I mentioned in the tags of my detransition post that I have a lot more complicated feelings about detransition. This is why. I fundamentally identify more with the concept of being a creature capable of change, than I do with any single gender.
Which means... once I transition, I'll almost certainly end up transitioning again. From what to what? I have NO IDEA. Will I end up detransitioning? Maybe. Will I end up pursuing some completely different presentation? Maybe. I dont know. I'm not that person yet.
I'm just gonna have to wait and see who manages to last that long, and what is best for all of us.
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howdyitssnoog · 12 days
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MotoGP rider who is the only woman trope except no one seems to realize that she is a woman.
Because a woman would not get this far in F1 unnoticed, it's a lot more probable in MotoGP
Maybe she has a masc sounding name or her nickname is a masc nickname (Victoria -> Vic)
Not super short but maybe a kinda bob or wolf cut (Vale's fuck ass bob as evidence and also it's Europe they have different standards of masculinity)
She's not completely flat but she uses medical tape similar to how some trans people use it to flatten what chest she has because bras get sweaty
Her voice isn't deep, but it's not high, one that is rather gender neutral, so no one questions it
She doesn't have any high profile family that might call her daughter or sister or niece or something like that
She used to pretend (back when she was much younger) so those who raced against her don't know either
She's also got a girlfriend and because people forget that queer people exist
And she knows that people keep referring to her as a man but she thinks it's kinda just a joke or that they don't mean her
And then after her first race she gets asked a question and she pauses and realizes that they all think she's a guy
and here it could go one of two ways:
one - she could say it outright that she is a woman there and then the fallout of everyone realizin
two - she could wait and play it off, then make sure the people she works with knows that she is a woman.
I feel like option one has more pizzazz but option two is safer
Maybe her team does know and they just kept it on the downlow
Maybe they didn't but that's unlikely for legal reason
So option two, select people in her team know and they kept it on the downlow for some reason (maybe sponsors maybe they thought she was hiding it)
A meeting where she sits down with maybe her direct boss and a pr officer where she tells them that people genuinely think she is a guy and that it needs to be corrected
Genius PR officer who is also a woman for storyline purposes suggests a post on International Women's Day cause Women.
She changes all her usernames to state her full name, not her nickanme
Response fall into a few categories: transphobic assholes who think she is a trans woman, sexist assholes who think women have no place in MotoGP, people who realize that mean's she queer regardless of if she's actually trans, people who are hyped for a woman in MotoGP.
She does something with F1 Academy because Women in Motorsport.
she also has to turn off direct messages and all comments because of how many graphic death threats she gets. because when we finally get women in MotoGP I feel like that is something the will realistically have to deal with and I'm not glossing over it
so yeah. Maybe she's taller than most of the drivers for kicks.
Edit: I made her a playlist
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sapphic-horny-tears · 13 days
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Thought dump/Storytime: If you aren't interested in people discussing your opinions maybe don't put them on the internet.
People get so pressed when they put their opinion out on the internet and then get mad when people give THEIR opinion about their opinion, AND THEN HIDE BEHIND THE "OH ITS JUST MY OPINION" LINE!!! it's like oh have you never heard of idk, the idea of a conversation? of debate? a discussion? the exchange of ideas? the fact that people have different experiences and backgrounds than you? Cause let me tell you, you are never going to agree 100% with everybody. And some people get overly rude and mean true. But others are genuinely just also stating what they think, and are open to discussion because that is how people learn and grow. If you immediately always start at a "fuck you and your family" mentality communication stops, and no one has learned anything. Chances are you aren't going to change someone's mind, but maybe it will make them think later on down the line, or plant a seed that might eventually make them see the world differently.
Storytime: I was at a friends birthday party a few years ago, in an area of my country that tends to be conservative and definitely not politically correct. I was chatting with this group of guys and when they found out that I had a degree in politics and gender studies they started to ask me questions about feminism, and then later the trans community. I told them that I am not trans, so I cannot speak for trans people, but I can do my best to answer their questions. They had a lot, and it was mostly just that they didn't really understand it and they were afraid to ask questions because they didn't want to be yelled at or seen as bigoted people. They were really excited to have someone to talk to about it, to ask questions, and to learn. I answered their questions as best as I could, with what I knew from being in the LGBTQ+ community myself, and what I had learned throughout my degree. Some of them had some really thoughtful and insightful things to say and it was honestly a really enriching experience for me, and I hope for them as well, because while I was definitely not going to have my mind swayed about the trans community. I still came away from the experience having learned more about communication, advocacy, and being able to have an open discussion even if you disagree. We were literally holed up in a randoms bedroom during a massive house party having these deep philosophical chats, some would get called away by their mates at times but they always came back for more, they were deeply invested. I never saw them again, and I have no idea what they may have taken from our talks that night, I know that I was better for it, and I can only hope that they were too, that maybe next time they encounter a trans person, or even just the topic of the LGBTQ+ community, they might think back to what we talked about.
All this to say that I think we sometimes get so consumed with right and wrong that we forget that we haven't always had the correct take every time, and to think about what helped change your mind, helped you to learn, and grow. We have forgotten the art of good faith and open debate. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE TO DEBATE THEIR RIGHT TO EXIST!!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING, BEFORE YALL COME AT ME CAUSE I KNOW WHAT YALL ARE LIKE!!!!. IF SOMEONE IS BEING A BIGOTED ARSEHOLE, YOU SHOULD TREAT THEM AS SUCH!
We can't expect people to be lawful good from birth to death, we all miss the mark from time to time. If someone is being genuine and in good faith to you, I think you should try to be the same back. Until they're not and then you can unleash hell.
TLDR: People have forgotten the old if it's not for you keep scrolling trick, and instead are airing out their personal grievances on the internet, they can dish it but can't take it. If you're not interested in people discussing your thoughts maybe don't put them on the internet. REAL-LIFE, CHARACTERS AND MEDIA are not always lawful good from their inception. If you want to change someones mind maybe start with honey instead of vinegar.
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our-lesboy-experience · 2 months
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I found your blog and thought the term lesboy might fit me because I'm genderfluid and I like women. I brought it up to my friends, just like "hey I heard about this thing, have you ever heard of it?" And most of them basically just laughed. I thought they would get it because they're all queer, but they were all really confused. I explained more that it could be for multigender people, transmasc lesbians, etc. and my friend (trans guy) said that trans men can't be lesbians. I said that if someone has a label that feels right to them, and they're not hurting anyone, then we shouldn't judge. Eventually my friends said that like whatever, people can call themselves lesboys if they want, but I'm pretty sure they still think it's weird and maybe not real. What do I do? I love these friends and I know they would never try to hurt me or anything, and I get why they're confused. Should I just not bring it up again?
Well, from personal experience, I have tried really hard to cover up my identity to stay friends with people who wouldn't accept me before. And it ended up making me more miserable than I even realized at the time. I was trying to hide this whole other part of myself, and ended up avoiding answering questions regarding orientation or ended up being confused for a gay dude. When I made new friends I hesitantly came out to, stepped out of my comfort zone to openly call myself a lesbian, I felt much happier being around people who would actually respect me and didn't treat me like shit for it
but your friends aren't those friends who I tried to hide myself from, so im gonna go ahead and assume the best and say they're probably not as hateful, as you said they'd never try to hurt you. and I guess it also depends on how much it means to you. If you feel genuinely hurt and distressed by it, then I'd try to bring it up again, but if they continue not to accept and make fun then I wouldn't say they're good friends. if they take back their comments and open their minds for you, actually listen and show respect, even if they're confused, then it's worth it
it's really your decision at the end of the day. if you feel like you can continue on without it being upsetting and continue being friends just fine, then whatever you choose. but personally it put a huge damper on my relationships and caused me anxiety and fear of abandonment (bpd did not help), so if it's like that for you then by all means address it. if you really want to have a conversation with them then I'd do more research on the identity just so you can have them on hand (this carrd has some historical stuff in it)
wish you the best and good luck!!!! ^^
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Being Queer and my relationship with Religion.
(Content Warning: Anti-queer rhetoric and discussion of religion). (Additional disclaimer: This post mostly talks about Christianity, however there will be mentions of other religions as well).
In light of some *recent* events going on, I think I should make a discussion about how being Queer has an affect on my relationship with Christianity.
For starters, I am not a religious person. And I don't go to Church very often. However, I'm lucky to have gone to a Church that welcomes everyone (In fact some members of my Church are actually queer themselves!). I was also raised by parents that have different religious beliefs (My mom leans towards paganism, and my dad is a straight up atheist). So being queer hasn't really strained my relationship with Christianity. However, the Christian community has a huge problem with being anti-queer. Many so-called "Christians" believe that being gay is a sin, and use the bible to prove that there's "only two genders". However, something doesn't add up with that. And no it's not because of the bible being misinterpreted or mistranslated. And no it's not because most of the other so-called "Christians" ignoring the other "sins" (No working on sundays, no tattoos, etc etc). What I don't get is this: Why does committing a sin make you a bad human being? Why is it believed that if you commit even one minor sin you'll go to hell? We all sin at some point of our lives. Hell, Jesus himself died for our sins. If we didn't sin, Jesus would've died for nothing. And what then? Also, the Bible seemingly only mentions male homosexuality. There isn't much on lesbianism or any other sexuality. And honestly, I don't think everyone in the bible was straight. In the Hebrew Bible (which is used in both Judaism and Christianity), there is the relationship of David and Jonathan. While the relationship has been interpreted in several ways (it is especially heavily debated among Christians), many people interpret it as the closest to a homosexual relationship between two men in the Bible. And honestly, it's not hard to see why. Judaism from my understanding acknowledges the potential love between David and Jonathan. And it makes sense on why some Christians interpret it the same way. But wait. Whatever happened to the Bible condemning Homosexuality? Well, here's how I look at it. I and a few others tend to interpret most of the Bible's objection to Homosexuality as, well, not actually objecting Homosexuality, but rather objection of abusive relationships. Plus, the objections of Homosexuality are usually in reference to sexual relationships (and even then they're usually based on misinterpretations or mistranslations). However, the Bible doesn't say anything about healthy non-sexual homosexual pairings being bad. Then again, the interpretations are all over the place. So I can't say for certain that's what it really means, however that remains my personal interpretation. In terms of gender, there is the mention of the Eunuchs in Matthews 19:12, where Jesus says the following: "For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can." (NRSV) While the above text likely indicates castration, I and a few others tend to interpret the first line ("For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth") as a nod to intersex people or even a third gender. And it genuinely would not surprise me if some eunuchs avoided using "male" or "female" altogether. And while people tend to reference Deuteronomy 22:5 as an argument against crossdressing and Trans people in general. But that only gives me more unanswered questions. What falls under male and female clothing? Does this apply to trans people or intersex people? And I wonder if Jesus himself thought the same way, as he seemingly abolishes the law in three different verses. Those verses being Matthew 6:25, Matthew 6:28 and Luke 12:22.
Lastly, people interpret Genesis 1:27 as there being only two genders. However, let's look at this quote even further: “So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”. While people interpret it as there being only two genders, I tend to see it as much more broad. This is where Religion and Biology overlap in a way. God created a variety of animals. And some animals have unique features in regards to gender; For example, male seahorses can get pregnant and male calicos and torties exist due to Klinefelter Syndrome (which is an Intersex condition that occurs in humans and animals!) and many other animals have intersex traits. And humans are technically animals in a way. So why would God not create them in a spectrum either? Lastly, let's focus on this verse from Galatians. “There is no longer Jew or Greek*, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28, NRSV). (*in some translations, "Gentile", a word that describes non-Jewish folks, is used instead of "Greek".) While this isn't inherently queer-related, it has been hugely referenced in queer theology. Outside of queer context, it has also been used in Christian Abolitionist movements and is also seen as a stance against the patriarchy. The first line is sometimes considered an antiracist message, however I also like to see it as a stance against antisemitism. Then again, it can be interpreted in 10000000 different ways. But I think the clear message of that verse is that, regardless of whatever differences there are, we're the same one and one. TL;DR: Being Queer isn't inherently against the Bible. And being "sinful" isn't entirely bad either. The Bible itself is complicated and has many interpretations. Furthermore, being queer and Christian (Or queer and religious in general) isn't as contradictory as many people think it is.
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vegaseatsass · 1 year
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GAP 4 spoilers: "We didn't do anything! I'm a woman, how could we?" / "I would make a move if I was a man"
I'm so interested in the question of how Mon thinks of herself and her crush on Sam, because I have my favored headcanon, but there are honestly so many possibilities. I don't think it's cut and dried at all, and I think basically all readings are valid at this point, which makes it extra fun to see where the story is going.
Internalized homophobia possibility 1: Mon could be afraid to let anyone else think her crush on Sam is sexual/anything but fangirling, because she assumes Sam is straight and doesn't want her to start feeling uncomfortable around Mon
Internalized homophobia possibility 2: Mon could be afraid to let herself think her crush on Sam is sexual/anything but fangirling, because she has internalized the idea that such a thing is predatory, and she doesn't want to inflict that on her honorable ladyness. ("How could we????")
Internalized heteronormativity possibility 1: Mon could genuinely not have questioned that her crush on Sam is sexual/romantic/anything but fangirling, despite the very literal wet dreams she has about her on the regular. The fan/idol relationship is sacred and she's devoted herself whole cloth to it for 12 years! What fan's heart wouldn't beat a little faster when her idol's face got really close to her face?
Internalized heteronormativity possibility 2: Mon and Yuki have kissed a bunch, like a WHOLE LOT, and mutually consider that to be regular platonic friends behavior, so obviously Mon having vivid kissing fantasies about Sam every day since she was 10 is different than making a move on her.
"Tumblr user vegaseatsass is reading too much into this" possibility: Mon wants to make a move on Sam, and wants Sam to know she wants to make a move on her, and just used the "I would if I were a man" line for some plausible deniability in case Sam wasn't into it. But Sam is very openly into it, they're both really happy and excited about this, and are gonna kiss on the lips sooooooooooooooon.
I am genuinely not married to any of these readings; I think they are all possible! There's probably plenty more! (Trans/GNC Mon working through gender feelings, expectations, etc, is a reading I see potential for, too, for instance!)
The reason EYE have been reading Mon as not completely in touch w/ all the ways she wants Sam is because she's so unflappably calm about wanting her. She had no notable reaction to getting to see Sam in lingerie or sleep in her bed (vs. her reaction to getting to see inside her house, and learn more about her). She def has the occasional breathless nervous moment, when their faces get realllly close or when Sam's all wet from the pool, and what she's thinking/feeling in those moments could generate a whole other post.
C is my preferred reading because it's the reading I relate to most. TMI but the most easy-natural-unquestioning-comfortable I ever felt wanting a woman was before I knew this want connected me to the negatively-connotated lesbian identity. I have fought through a lot of internalized homophobia since then to get proudly comfortable, and it is entirely possible to become truly cool cucumber levels of comfortable, but that perfect ease is something I personally associate w/ the innocence of not connecting your feelings to society's thoughts on those feelings.
But basically I see it as
a) Mon is the coolest cucumber alive, the inversion of every useless lesbian stereotype out there. You can't make her blush, you can't make her stuttertype; she is in control.
b) Mon is firmly committed to the belief that her crush is going to remain one-sided, and no bedsharing or lingerie is going to shake her comfortably resigned certainty with her place in Sam's life (fan, employee, friend if she's very very good and very very lucky)
or
c) Mon is not really looking too closely at some of the things she feels for Sam, or what some of the things she feels for Sam mean about her.
Idk that this is the reading the story is going for at alllll, though!! And I am not Thai and am obviously bringing my own American thirtysomething's experience of queerness/sexuality/homophobia/etc to things. So most of all I guess I just really love that every episode gives the Sam/Mon dynamic more layers and nuances and things for us to pore over as fans. It's not just about wanting them to resolve their sexy chemistry at this point, but about how many new character details get textured into every single episode and how much there is to explore between Sam and Mon. I LOVE YOU GAP THE SERIES!!!
PS If you got to the end of this post please feel free to share your own readings and headcanons w/ me I obvi can't get enough of talking about this show and wanna hear it all.
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