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#but like. the degree to which some people wanna magnify 'i personally have no interest in sex'
thedreadvampy · 3 years
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sex scene discourse is phenomenal I love it please never stop arguing about whether Anything You Don't Personally Like As A Teenager should be allowed to be in anything ever.
#some of the takes in this discourse are so aggressively You Are A Teenager#like I'm just saying sometimes i read a take in this discourse and not in like a Touch Grass way I'm just like#yeah no i totally get it i also when i was 15 didn't think this sex scene added much#however I'm currently 28 and i get different uses from the same things#like no of course sex has a different set of meanings when you're a sixteen year old and when you're a 40 year old#that doesn't mean either of them are INCORRECT meanings#but like just because a story wasn't made for you personally doesn't mean it's a bad story sorry 2 tell you#many sex scenes are bad and poorly framed and poorly motivated and don't serve much purpose#many......are not..........#but like a thing being done badly doesn't mean it shouldn't be done at all#also mainstream film is so anodyne now anyway like it's not like it's the 70s and you see a full frontal dick in every other film#NOT THAT THAT'S THE IDEAL#but like. the degree to which some people wanna magnify 'i personally have no interest in sex'#to 'having any positive interest in sex is Filthy and Perverse and Immoral' is. unhelpful.#go hang with doctor Freud if you wanna project this hard#and like sorry again when i say this is very teenage#it's not 'oh you're just not Smart Enough' or anything it's just#stories are a way for us to reflect on the complexities and emotions of our own experience of the world#and if you're 15 tbh either you probably don't have much experience with sex or your experience has been very pressured and overwhelming#and so a sex scene carries different narrative meanings because it's reflecting a different experience base#honestly just as a sex scene is likely to carry different meanings depending on gender and sexuality and your own experience with sex#but yeah it tends to read kind of flat and unmotivated when you don't have much experience of sexuality#(and i think as an adult it's only partially to do with personal experience it's also to do with social experience#like when you're 30 you may not be sexuality active but sex plays a very different role in your life to when you're 15 like#your friends probably have sex and talk to you about it. you have probably read and seen a lot more references to sex.#even if you've never had sex or felt particularly pressured you've had years of negotiating your personal relationship to sex#and that's going to change your reading)#also I'm not saying everyone who doesn't like sex scenes is 15 I'm just saying a lot of people are and it shows#red said
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Survey #359
“i’m only a crack in this castle of glass  /  hardly anything there for you to see”
Do you look better with your hair down or up? It's too short to go up. Has you mom ever directly told you that she favoured your other sibling(s) over you? Yeesh, no. Have you ever read The Outsiders? Seen the movie? Read the book, seen the movie. Adore both. What’s your favourite drink from Jamba Juice? I don't think we have those here. Can you stand eating the crusts of a slice of sandwich bread? I don't mind the crust at all. Do you do your homework at home or in class? Prior to college, I did my work right after getting home to get it out of the way. In college, I did it in-between classes or when waiting for Mom to finish class. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yes, I never do it. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? I'm single, but hypothetically, I wouldn't... It's just a hug. At least for me, it's just a friendly gesture. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? A few things, yes. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. If you had to choose, what color is your favorite? Baby pink. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? I’m single. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah. What color is your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. Do you normally fall asleep fast or slow? Ridiculously slow. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? No. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? I'd love to dress up as like a Ms. Oogie Boogie and take some cool pictures, but I highly doubt it'll actually happen. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Do you still look in the toy aisle, or do you pass it by? I walk past it. What are your summer fashion essentials? I don't have fashion essentials for any season. Do you have your own website? For my photography, yeah. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? Ha, no. I worked in retail before and I fucking sucked. Do you like candy corn? NO. Just colored wax, ugh. Do you like to wear skirts? I don't wear anything that shows my legs. Were you happy as a kid? Yeah. That, talkative, and hyper. Favorite store to browse but not really buy anything? Haha, I LOVE going on MorphMarket now and again to browse the ball pythons especially, but boy if I had the cash and space would I buy like fifty of them at once. I don't really know about a store I like browsing but not buying from. Skittles or Sour Patch Kids? Both are great, but I guess Sour Patch Kids. BUT, if you throw SOUR Skittles in there... then it's a war lol. If tattoos were free, how many would you have? A HELL OF A LOT. I wanna be just about totally painted. Do you wear a retainer at night? Not anymore. I had one, but I stopped using it. Are you afraid of dolls, puppets, or clowns? I'm not a doll person, particularly porcelain ones. When you’re in your room, do you keep the door locked? No. It's not even closed. Do you think your face is mostly symmetrical? Actually no, and I'm self-conscious about it. Stupidest thing you have ever said out loud? OH Christ, I'm not retrospecting on this. What’s your least favourite ice-cream flavour? That I've actually tried, strawberry. It's disgusting. What was the last good news you heard? I got approved for TMS therapy! Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? My friend Lyndsey. How did you meet him/her? World of Warcraft. She's actually my guild master, and she is the sweetest damn person. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? I haven't, but yeah, I'd like to. When was the last time you took a nap? How long was it? Yesterday. For some reason, I actually slept a LONG time, like at least three, but probably close to four, hours. I mean I was tired, but I didn't feel THAT tired. Do you like Gushers? YAAAAAAAAAAS What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Actually get a degree for SOMETHING. What is your native language? English. Do you have a younger brother or sister? A younger sister. If so do/did they really get on your nerves? No. We were very close as kids, but we've drifted apart. Now, she absolutely doesn't get on my nerves. I'm so proud of her. Name something that happened to you that was completely unexpected. Uhhh I dunno. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? Lol wtf? No. Do you watch the Olympics? No. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had Kix cereal. Do you like orange juice? Yes. So long as it doesn't have pulp in it. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away? It depends on the size of the cage as well as how long you're away. Do you have a pet gecko? No, but I'd love a fat-tailed gecko. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all, I adore them. Is your car messy? I don't have my own car. Mom's kinda is, though. It needs a wash badly, but because of her bumper literally being zip-tied on, she doesn't trust going into a car wash. And neither of us are about to do it manually, lol. Have you ever seen the show 16 and Pregnant? No, fuck that show. Do you buy expensive clothes? No. Does death scare you? Not really. What are your current goals? Conquer my social anxiety, get a job, lose weight, do something to strengthen my legs... Those are the four biggies. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? I did both at the one I've been to. Do you drink coffee? What brand? No. Do you use a comb or brush? A comb. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. I loved the cutesy girl handwriting though, haha. I just could never do it. You’re locked in a room with the person you last dated, any problems? Well yeah, we're locked in a room lmao. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? It's perfectly fine, we're best friends. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, more than once. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? Who said I even want kids? Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yessssss, good shit. Have you ever seen a ghost? I think I have. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It works, I just have stupidly hairy legs that need so much to get it all. How many tabs do you have open and what are they? Two YouTube tabs and then Tumblr. What browser do you prefer to use? Chrome. What room are you in right now? My bedroom. Are you excited for anything this month? 1.) I get my tattoo on the 19th, and 2.) I start TMS next Wednesday. What language course did you take in school, if any? I barely survived one semester of Latin, then I did all four available German courses. What language would you most like to learn? I'd love to improve my German. What would you like to get a degree in? Photography. What book are you reading, what genre is it and do you like it so far? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. It's young adult fantasy, I think. Did you ever sometimes flip through your text books even when you didn’t need to? Yeah, mainly to just look at pictures because I was that bored in class, haha. What types of magazines do you read? None. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. What’s your current relationship like with the person you lost your virginity to and do you wish it was different? We don't have any relationship anymore. I don't regret losing it to him, if that's what you're asking. If you mean our relationship stance, it'd be nice to still be in touch with him, but I know it wouldn't be healthy for me. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? Pets, yes. No humans. What was the last book you recommended to someone? Idk. What’s the most difficult thing you and your current or last significant other have gone through? Distance was very hard. What’s your best memory with your ex? I'm going to assume this refers to "the ex." In which case, we were "play arguing," and I came storming into the kitchen after him to make a point, and I slid mid-sentence, and he caught me. We just held each other laughing our asses off. It's the simple things, man. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Summer. My little sister and her were in pre-k together and became friends, but I gradually became closer to her than Nicole did when we were teens. Has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down? Yes. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Yeah. Like recently I've been having apples and peanut butter a lot, and I ask my mom to cut the apple because I'm terrified of knives. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NOPE. Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? No. In a relationship, have you ever been on and off with your partner? No. Do you consider cooking to be an art? Yes. Are you a fast or slow reader? I'd say I read at a moderate pace. Does it take a lot to gross you out? It depends on what it is, but I am actually more squeamish than I used to be.
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jewpacabruhs · 7 years
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so out of boredom i wanted to go in depth about something from a certain ep. in ‘the death of eric cartman’, from season 10, kyle calls cartman a “fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath”. as we all know, it’s pretty easy to label someone a certain way, when in actuality stuff tends to go so much deeper than a couple of summarizing words. so i wanted to analyze each of those six titles that seem to follow cartman around.
1) fat. yes, hes overweight; there’s no denying that. it shouldn’t be included in this list of negatives, but kids are shallow.
2) racist. while there’s no denying he’s blatantly racist, i don’t think cartman understands the depth of racism at his age, and therefore it’s not genuine. none of the kids, except for token and nichole and maybe kyle, do. i myself was pretty racist until around thirteen or fourteen, because i’d been raised like that and i didn’t know any better. despite being jewish (granted, i didn’t experience any anti-semitism until i started to embrace my religion recently), i found harmful stereotypes about non-white people to be funny & often said them in jest, until i started educating myself and realized how harmful doing that was. unfortunately a lot of people don’t outgrow the racism they learn as children. point is, i think cartman doesn’t understand the magnitude of racism and it’s harmful effect on poc. then again, he doesn't care about any one but himself, and things that don’t directly involve him don’t concern him, so you can’t expect him to. but considering his recent pc arc, maybe he’ll mature a little. unfortunately, as of now, i think he just views making racist remarks as another thing that gets him attention. he’ll take any attention he can get, and negative attention is easiest to get. how to get negative attention? make everyone hate you. how to do that? display hatred towards everyone else. 
3) self-centered. he’s most definitely self-centered. i think cartman got a very extreme case of only child-syndrome (general selfishness, bossiness, etc. i myself was an only child until twelve, and i was a goddamn pain to be friends with, i’ll tell you that) that was magnified by abuse and neglect from his mother. he’s developed a me-against-the-world complex. not to mention he’s very intelligent, and he knows it, which led to some intense narcissism (or perhaps that’s a front to hide his insecurity, because there’s been a couple of instances where cartman’s grandiose facade cracked and we got a glimpse of the vulnerable kid underneath). that intelligence, regardless of how little he demonstrates it on a daily basis, also alienates him from the rest of south park, who are airheads. and while i can’t deny he’s undeniably clever, and that’s a positive for him, his self image of his psychical body is all false bravado; he’s convinced himself he’s strong, attractive, and manly, when in reality he’s chubby, weak, fairly repulsive (albeit charming), and a little more on the feminine side, if we’re generalizing - he’s emotional, sassy, manipulative, and on a more psychological level, he cross-dresses, plays with dolls, and is, canonically, attracted to boys. he doesn’t like himself, even if he pretends he does. now, personally, i believe all humans are self-centered - at the end of the day, do we genuinely care about each other people’s trivial problems? then again, i’m a raging nihilist. regardless, cartman’s put up a facade of who he thinks he should be, who he wants to be. his use of derogatory language towards others (not the personal attacks, like calling kyle a filthy jew or token a black piece of shit or whatever, but the general ones, like “hey, f*gs” or “whats up, dickwads”, yanno), it’s all to make himself feel better about himself. to try to put himself on a pedestal, so he’s untouchable, and he does this by demeaning others. his use of the f word in particular, and i’m not talking about fuck, is likely internalized homophobia.
4) intolerant. ties back into racism - he’s intolerant because he thinks it’s cool. he thinks bigotry is badass, and he’s obsessed with his own image, similarly to stan, only stan actually has morals and a decent sense of wrong vs right. stan will do anything to make himself look good, but only in socially acceptable ways. cartman, on the other hand, has no concept of what’s socially acceptable, and merely does things to the beat of his own drum; whatever he thinks is right, in his own eyes, he believes wholeheartedly, and he practices what he, and he alone, preaches. he thinks that, by spouting hateful bullshit, he, again, is putting himself up on a pedestal, which is exactly where he wants to be (and likely thinks he belongs). have you ever met/talked to a bigot who wasn’t a raging narcissist? i haven’t. cartman also clearly doesn’t know how to be nice, as shown in casa bonita; hate is all he knows. it’s his defense mechanism, likely because, subconsciously, he’s afraid to let people get close. he doesn’t want emotional intimacy with anyone because he doesn’t want to be genuinely vulnerable (partly because he likely considers vulnerability as “faggy” or “girly”, and his ego won’t allow that, and partly because he doesn’t want the walls he’s built up to be torn down - no bey reference intended, i swear). the only people he’s ever really opened up to have been his mom and butters, and with his mom he usually wants something and he’s exaggerating. butters, i think he trusts to some degree, because he knows butters is a dweeb and he’s naive enough to not entirely understand the difference between cartman’s true(?) nature and his facade, considering his erratic moods. still, even then, butters has shared cartman’s secrets time and time again, which probably proved to cartman that he really cant trust anyone. anyway, like i said, i don’t think the intolerance is genuine, i think he thinks it’s cool and he likes how controversial his remarks are, because, like i said, to cartman, any attention is good attention.
5) manipulative. he’s definitely manipulative, that’s undeniable. but i don’t think manipulation’s inherently bad, honestly; if you’re smooth enough to be able to talk yourself into getting your way all the time, good for you. if your morals are so shaky that you’re able to walk on other people to achieve personal success, you’re probably gonna move up quicker in the world, and i can respect that. cartman’s realized this at a young age, and he utilizes his charm. albeit, he often uses his power for evil, but still.
6) sociopath. this is the one i wanna talk about thoroughly. people don’t seem to understand the psychological meaning of 'psychopath’ or 'sociopath’, or any other psychological diagnosis. i’m not an expert, but i’ve researched psychology extensively, so i’d like to think i’m somewhat of a reputable source when it comes to this sort of stuff. and while i hate to try and stick a label on a fictional fourth grader, it’s pretty fascinating to try. however, you should still take everything i say with a grain of salt. anyway, so, admittedly, on the surface you would think cartman was a sociopath. he lacks empathy and manipulates as necessary without guilt, and while i think he definitely displays antisocial and narcissistic traits, i don’t think hes a sociopath. if anything, he displays some symptoms of high-functioning aspergers (ironic, considering that one episode). as someone on the autistic spectrum, i hardly want him as an example of an autistic person. but he sort of reminds me of someone i studied extensively while researching criminal psychology - one jeffrey dahmer (the real one, not the south park parody version of him). dahmer was officially diagnosed with bpd and schizotypal pd, among others, but a few of the many psychologists he spoke to following his arrest diagnosed him with aspergers. dahmer’s personality would go from awkward, reserved, and gentlemanly, to cocky, aggressive, and cruel. this could’ve been the bpd & aspergers/szpd (which is, more or less, aspergers & schizophrenia smushed together) coinciding. a little personal input: i myself have been diagnosed with a lot of different shit by several different therapists, but my lack of empathy and aloof attitude have been persistent symptoms in each of the diagnoses. if i compare myself to a friend of mine who has bpd, we’re pretty damn different. but if mashed together, we’d roughly make a dahmer-like personality, i think - and possibly a cartman-like personality. see, cartman’s behavior is very sporadic and unexpected. his default tone of speech (which says a lot about a person) seems to be a sarcastic but detached sort of drawl, which reflects his laid-back and idgaf-esque manner. he’s easily agitated, in which case his voice raises, often in a matter of seconds, before he’s returned to his relatively calm usual demeanor. the anger usually doesn’t last, unless it’s a heated argument. when angered, he can be driven to severely injuring people, without a second thought, because he lacks empathy. he blindly follows trends if they make him look cool, although i don’t think he really has a concept of what’s cool, nor does he care, i think he just tries to blend in to some degree to avoid ridicule, and because he wants people to like him. he’s assertive and straight-forward, doesn’t care if he hurts feelings, and doesn’t concern himself with people’s problems or opinions, although i think he cares about what people think about him a lot more than he cares to admit. that’s another thing that’s interesting; how he’s hated by everyone, despite his need for validation, and his brain twists things so he thinks people like him instead of just tolerate him. it’s crazy. anyway, i dunno, not making diagnoses, just bringing up symptoms and possibilities. and that’s all. gnite.
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