Tumgik
#but like i said i cant depend on stuff like food to make me happier
wayfayrr · 9 months
Note
long unorganized idea!! apologies for any spelling mistakes!!
finished reading part 2 of sage and reader landing in regular earth and the idea of them both slowly becoming domestic hit me in the head with a metal bat. Assuming they're both staying for a while, theyre going to need money! reader falls into somewhat of a provider position for sage!! they work hard all day and come home to an eagerly awaiting sage.
Sage, while happy it's just the both of them, he would probably go a little crazy because "how am i supposed to protect you!" its a brand new--and modern at that- world for him. this means new competition, and it wont be as easy for him to fully have reader to himself anymore. friends and family are major obstacles compared to some blonde fools back in hyrule. And unless reader is a bit of a loner, or doesn't have the best relationship with family, its going to be harder for him. As well as he cant be around them 24/7 (while reader could work from home, i love the idea of them holding an office job more. coming home tired making them even more like putty for him. hes there and ready to dote on a tired reader after such a stressful day but not to worry he'll make it all better)
I have this idea that he slowly falls into a househusband???(idk) role. While he may not be able to financially provide, he can cook you delicious meals and bake perfect deserts!! He can make his new home as enticing as it needs to be to keep you there with him. I just imagine him clinging to reader, buttering them up with his cooking and affection
oh, your friends wanted to hang out after your shift? but reader! you been gone for so long! he's having such a hard time adjusting and needs you home. Just like the gloom, hes playing for pity points (and winning them) so reader comes and dotes on the poor (pathetic) man.
I think sage would realize how he has to do this in slow and small incrimates. Hes smart and calculated, despite his lies, he has a good grasp on reader's world. Slowly, he pulls them away from friends and family. Why would they need anyone when he's here to care for them? Unless absolutely necessary, there's minimal communication with the outside world. There's mandatory dinner for work? Your raise is dependent on it? I suppose we can go, but he has his arm wrapped protectively around their waist the entire time, and he routes towards the door once you can leave. Come on, cant we go home now? His arm's starting to hurt.
overall just gradual manipulation that keeps pushing reader into his arms.
Since he's not in Hyrule anymore, I imagine he gets phantom pains in his arm. like since he's not in a magical(?) land anymore, and his arm isnt natural, he gets phantom pains or small muscle cramps. Obviously while not happy about that, just another factor in his advantage. If he goes out the house he just wears a long sleeve that covers his hand, has pockets, or gloves.
OR
because his arm was Rauru's arm, he actually loses a good portion of his arm on earth, bc what if earth reverses all like mystic/fantasy stuff although that could contradict his existence?? or it just makes him more human-ey?? anyways his arm would probably end around mid bicep, still gets phantom pains. his ears are also normal now! he and reader are now matching!
sage is hardworking and persistent. the angering amount of patience he had to give pays off in time when he finally has reader all to himself. maybe now he can actually rest, especially that hylia and the others dont exist here. hes fully broken away from being a hero and has you at his side, he couldn't be happier!!
ugajsk my mind is mush and this could be out of character for him but i cannot get domestic sage out of my head just them falling into domestic routine once everything is said and done
imagine grocery shopping with him
tldr househusband sage discovers modern amenities, food prices, ect and goes bananas
OKAY BUT ANON THAT SUCH A BIG BRAIN IDEA, SOFT DOMESTIC SAGE IS THE BEST????
Sage as a house husband is just??? This is like perfect for his character!?? He's already got the personality for it, just gotta throw him an apron and get him a ring to prove he's yours.
@neverchecking, @eternadreeblissa I feel like this is something you'd enjoy for sage.
Him slowly trying to isolate the reader from everyone they've ever known and cared about like how he's isolated? And how he just knows how to play up being trapped in a modern world for pity, he really has reader wrapped around his finger. He'd start to adapt far quicker than he let on, learning to read written languages. Who knows, maybe he finds a surprising taste in true crime shows?
And the mandatory work events? He'd both loathe them and love the chance to come off as this perfect trophy husband at readers side, to let anyone else there know reader is his. and his alone. And I was actually panning to have him meet some of readers friends! not quite in a thing to do with work but just as a causal meet up at their place so there's no way out!
Also about his arm just being gone? Like hello?? He would absolutely play that up for pity points, and he would get them. Yeah prosthetics exist here but they aren't easy to get or learn to use. And with the disappearance of his pointed ears, he wouldn't even be able to be called hylian anymore so he'd have another thing of hylia's put firmly behind him.
Personally, my favourite thing like that to happen would be a mix, where he keeps some traits but others become more dulled. He keeps the arm's abilities but it looks more human-like now than before, his ears are still pointed but now they look more like what is possible for humans than how exaggerated hylian ears are.
as for grocery shopping and shopping in general, he'd be so sceptical of letting reader eat anything brought from a store - he has no way to make sure they're safe!! so I raise you sage becoming a gardener, even if it's just little window sill herbs or tomatoes, granted he'd still have to shop for most things in this world. He'd just far prefer to go as far back the line as he can, buying from farmers' markets even if it meant having to travel further for things he needs. One bonus is that markets like that can sometimes be cheaper, as long as he's willing to argue with the sellers.
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ezmarie · 3 years
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hi! could i possibly request a haikyuu matchup plz :D
she/her, 18 (in two weeks), sagittarius, ENTP, ravenclaw :p
appearance: 170.2 cm (5'7), 67.1 kg (148 lbs). I have a thin, athletic build. my legs are toned and i have a larger butt, thighs and chest 😖😖 i have blonde dyed hair just passed my shoulder blades. my eyes are green/blue. i have rather long eyelashes and full lips. i have a nose piercing and three piercings on each ear. i wear a lot of basic athletic wear (leggings/sweatpants, nike, champion).
hobbies: well, i'm in three sports :) im varsity cheer captain, i run track and i'm in the marching band color guard!! most of my time goes towards my sports. when i'm not at sports i'm probably working at my part time job. when i'm not doing either of those, i play a lot of video games, watch anime and draw! a lot of people are thrown off by my interests because of my appearance 😅 some of my favorite video games are the legend of zelda (ALL TIME FAVORITE), minecraft, roblox, mario kart, and animal crossing!
personality:
positive traits: leader, outgoing, witty, enjoys making others laugh, actually really intelligent! LOL
negative: extremely moody, cant take criticism, BOSSY, judgmental
likes: basically the hobbies i listed, spicy food, energy drinks
dislikes: a lot of certain noises (like chewing for example), people touching me when i'm mad, people who cant take a joke.
playlist: i think i have over 300 playlists 😅 but my favorite one that ive made is called "just vibin" OR "bri's bumpin playlist". just vibin has a lot of stuff like kendrick lamar, tyler the creator, rich brian, ski mask the slump god, BROCKHAMPTON, frank ocean etc. and my bris bumpin playlist has stuff thatd you hear at a club in 2002 😭😭
couple traits:
-i cannot stress this enough, TRUSTWORTHY. i have extreme trust issues which is what ended my last relationship 😀
-FUNNY!!! has to have a sense of humor. has to.
-emotional. has to be in tune with their own emotions and mine, or else it ain't gonna work.
-COMMUNICATION!!!
Hiiii! Yes you can, I ship you with...yamaguchi!!
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He’s very reserved and dependent on others and usually keeps to himself, which is why I think he’ll love your more outgoing personality. He likes how he doesn’t really need to worry about taking on the socially active role since that would never be him in the first place. It’s the same situation for your leader tendencies, he’s definitely more of a follower so he needs you to be able to be independent in a way. It really helps that you can understand what hes comfortable with because he struggles so much with doing otherwise. However, if you look past his shy outside he is SO FUNNY omg. Like his sense of humor is just quick top notch jokes (or insults) it’s just that he doesn’t show it to anyone in fear of judgment, so when he realizes you have the same humor it’s amazing. And you too are so secretly judgmental it’s hilarious, like if you two hate someone or see something sus when you guys are alone you’ll DESTROY them. Basically you’ll give eachother the side eye and immediately know you both are gonna talk shit later.
I feel like he would totally understand your mood swings from personal experience. He might not really show it but but it does not take much to ruin his mood and it stays that way for a while. He always tries to find things that comfort both of you and get y’all in a happier mood because he knows how badly it can effect you. Overall he’s very good at recognizing when your mood drops and whether or not he needs to give you space of comfort you. That also goes hand and hand with your inability to properly take any kind of criticism, he understands. Honestly he’s like the least critical person ever (to you at least) and I could never really see him criticizing you anyways. He doesn’t really mind you being bossy because like I said he’s dependent on others so it doesn’t both him, and also he’s friends with tsuki so he’s honestly used to it. He actually finds it attractive how you take control of the situation and fill the leadership role naturally.
I feel like yamaguchi fits your preferences very well actually which is just another reason I think you’re compatible. Yamaguchi is VERY trustworthy, he’s scared of people leaving him and such so he would never even DREAM of breaking youre trust in any way. Like I said before he has an amazing sense of humor and is funny asf but he just might be scared to let that part of him out. He’s actually a pretty emotional guy and he’s totally ok and comfortable with showing and expressing them to you, just maybe not others. But as long as he does it with you it doesn’t really matter if other people know that since it would make him uncomfortable anyways. And he’s definitely able to pick up on how you’re feeling as well and recognizes what to do in that certain situation very well. That’s similar to the fact that he always communicates to you about how you both are feeling and what might need to take place to make things better if you’re feeling bad. He just always wants to resolve conflict by talking it out so communication is important to him.
Scenarios with the two of you:
•you two sharing playlists with eachother and combining them so you have SO MANY playlists for like any mood because you always make and add new ones, also anytime you hear a song that reminds you of eachother you guys will listen to it together and add it to your playlists (you guys will listen to it over and over again until you get sick of it but that’s ok😌)
•he would be there supporting you at EVERY SINGLE event you have for any of your sports and he always hangs out with you afterwards. He knows your exhausted too so usually you two have a movie marathon while cuddling under really soft blankets and you fall asleep really quickly because of fatigue so you two just fall asleep together 🥰
•you guys ALWAYS are playing video games like it’s a huge thing for you guys, when you two have time you’ll set up legend of Zelda and will play for literally h o u r s while you play stuff like sugar by brockhampton, IFHY by Tyler the creator, pink + white by frank ocean, and much more ( also you may or may not ROAST little kids in roblox just for fun😃)
HAJDHS this took like a week I’m sorry but hopefully you liked this😭also I’m working on your appearance matchup too!! :) <33
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sondpyo · 5 years
Text
𝙮𝙤𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙
a/n: y’all this is literally my first writing :// sorry ig it’s shitty oop whatever I will do a x1 boyfriend line just bcs i really want a bf rn and x1 are my emotional support kpop boys 🥺 iF you have requests then please just request !!!!! 🤭 whatevs have fun reading this and stream flash 😎
warnings: ,,,,cursing
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yohan
yes
he looks really intimidating ngl and his taekwondo shit doesn’t make it better
but like,,, he’s a baby ????
he also likes to be babied u cant tell me shit like hug him, kiss him, pinch his cheeKS MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED
but before
let’s go back to where it all started : )
you and yohan actually met in a coffee shop u were working at
so one day this like tall dude came in and ordered an americano with some typa cake idk honestly
and hes like sitting down
and thats when he saw YOU
he immediately went 👀
you were casually picking up some cups and plates customers have left on the tables
and like u just felt someone was looking at you you just did
so you turned around
sUPRISE
yohan was still like 👀
so you were like ???why that mf staring at me???
his brain took about 10 seconds to process that u were staring back so it went ABORT MISSION !
he turned around quickly
you furrowed ur brows and just shrugged it off like u see weird people walking in here daily
but he was kinda cute tho,,, and u don’t see cute weirdos walk in here daily
when u went back to the counter ur co worker was like bring that shit to that guy
and u were looking at THAT guy
sUPRISE 2.0 it was yohan
so you went there and gave him his things
thats when
„ so do you come here often. ????"
„sir I work here"
„oh"
so you were just like "do you need anything else?"
and he got really shy after saying that so he just answered with a no, thank u and turned around in embarrassment
and a little smile creeped up ur lips
because he was CUTE cute
but you were kinda shy too so whAT SHOULD YOU DO
so you just left
yea
he visited the shop more often
thats when you found out he actually goes to the same college as you
so u were both talking and he finally asked for ur number
this leads to date nr. 1
absolute chaos
he wanted to actually take you out in a fancy restaurant but they somehow didn’t have his name on the guest list
so y’all went outside and it actually started raining
so yall ran to his car
and just when yohan thought he literally fucked up everything
you started smiling
and he was like huh ???
so you were like
"well ur plan didn’t go that well I guess"
he scoffed and put both of his hands onto the steering wheel
he was really confused at first but then thought that you were making fun of him which u kinda were but he doesn’t have to know 🤡
but then you suddenly said "how about we buy a family pizza and go watch a movie or something“ and nudged his shoulder with your ellbow
you know he wanted the date to be perfect and that he was probably sad it didn’t go well
and that kinda touched you because he was really trying hard
after that date you unfortunately went on another and on another and on another one
and you were slowly falling for him and his charms
not only was he opening up to you a lot
showing his funny and entertaining side
he also started realizing that he didn’t have to hide his true self from you
like he wanted to tell you a dad joke? he justfucking went for it
since then he decided
that ur his wifey 😎
so y’all have been dating for 2 years now
and in those 2 years you learned a lot about yohan
boi is shy but loves skinship
cuddling in each and every second? yes
u want a kiss? lmAo here you have 100
like he just loves showering you with love
and showering with you (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( i sincerely apologize )
ne wa ys
he really likes holding your hand
and he has that habit of playing with ur fingers when he’s nervous
at first you weren’t like used to so much skinship
but over the years it just kinda grew on you and you were just like meh
and he loves teasing you about your height and everything
he just has to put things onto the highest shelf just so he can watch you struggle
he also loves saying things to you infront of his friend just to make you blush and watch you hide in embarrassment
well,,,, his friends
your biggest enemy is hyeongjun
one of yohan‘s best friends
it’s just an ongoing fight between you two about his attention
„listen her u poodle ass looking rat, yohan is MY boyfriend"
„who are you calling poodle ass rat you look like a recycled tana mongeau"
and ur both like 😡😡😡
so yohan is usually like don’t fight,,,,enough yohan for everyone 😎
and you‘re literally like you can keep him hyeongjun
((you and hyeongjun are actually really good friends don’t worry))
soooo
yohan also loves to give neck kisses
if your neck is in sight
hes like mwah 👄
and you act like you don’t like thEm
but we all know you do
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
the only thing is that whenever your hanging out with his friend group and he does that
everyone goes like we haAVE MINORS IN HERE
because strangely one of his friends is a 14 year old tall ass bitch that’s still going through puberty ((dohyon why u so tALL))
but friendship has no age I guess ???
he always goes to his hyungs for advice tho because what kinda advice will he get from some kids going through puberty
eunsang in the back: 😤
and seungwoo always helps him with his situations
while seungyoun just says stuff like smaSh Her !
yes seungyoun sweetie ur doing amazing
you both fighted once
where u realized that he actually looks really intimidating like you were genuinely scared of him for a second
and you‘re both kinda hot headed
so it turned out with him taking his jacket and leaving your apartment
yes,,,, a mess
you dIDNT talk to each other for two days until you phone dinged
and you were like !!!
but
hyeongjun🤥: why y’all ain’t talking
and you told him and he’s like you should just go to him like this bitch is dumb we been knew and for the first time ever you bonded with hyeongjun
so you pressed the button of his doorbell
and yohan opened the door looking all sad
he expected his food to be here
but then he saw you and he just hugged you like honestly ???? he missed you :(
so fighting with him usually lays down after 1-3 days
depends
okay but
yohan is a really good listener
like hes a jokster and everything
but when you‘re sad or upset and need to talk to someone he’s always there for you
it doesn’t matter if it‘s about a test you failed or even about the girl in your class that always gives you deadly looks
like when ur sad he usually just caresses your head/hair
and he tries make you laugh again
because he hates seeing you like that,,,you‘re his baby >:( he doesn’t want you to be sad
he eventually also buys food because he just knows that food calms you down the most
so when ur happier shoving down food ur throat than u were in his arms hes like :[ (y’all know that face)
whatevs
you and yohan have a healthy relationship
and you appreciate it a lot
because he isn’t only your boyfriend but also your best friends
so that mEanS pyjAMA PARTIES HELL YE
usually you both just chill on the coach with your pjs on and you put a face mask onto his face
„this thing burns"
„don’t be a pussy"
„you‘re literally putting acid on my face and you‘re telling me I shouldn’t be a pussy“
u usually watch Netflix after
well only you
becAUSE your beloved boyfriend is always trying to get your attention with either whining or kissing you
and sometimes he just succeeds
like the few pecks turn into making oUt
and the making oUt leads to
we all know what
the netflix movie is forgotten by now sorry sweetie
since sometimes both of you are too lazy to go to ur bed bcs ur busy duH? u fall asleep on the couch so often you both wake up in the next morning by either you or yohan falling off it eventually
i don’t make the rules, gravity does
we should come to an end
yohan is a really protective boyfriend
and he would use his taekwondo skills on anyone and everyone that comes near you
well
only when he senses danger and shit bcs he can’t just double turn fly kick hangyul away just bcs he wanted to greet you with a hug
but yes: very protective
loves you
he really does
he doesn’t care about any girl walking past him except junho but that’s another story // like his eyes are always on you and you only + junho 👀
people envy your relationship a lot
mostly girls watching him taking care of you so well
becAUSE he does care about you a lot
so be dAmn grateful
becAUSE yohan is a once in a lifetime man
and he eventually even hopes to marry you one day
so 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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caws5749 · 4 years
Text
This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback
1: Name Madison
2: Age 21
3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents
4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies
5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me
6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things
7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea
8: sexual orientation lesbian
9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing
10: how tall am i 5’2
11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things
12: what time were i born 11:14am
13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink
14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot
15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”
16: favorite place Chicago or New York City
17: favorite food SALMON
18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to
19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify
20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves
21: shoe size 8 or 8.5
22: eye color blue
23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends
24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.
25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times
27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)
28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier
29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble
30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands
31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay
32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea
33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag
34: my relationship with my parents um yikes
35: favorite holiday Halloween
36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.
37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk
38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!
39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot
40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it
41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea
42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS
43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half
44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!
45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it
46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES
47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level
48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour
49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily
50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to
51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person
52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so
53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh
54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life
55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(
56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson
57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely
58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol
59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms
60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now
61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend
62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao
63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes
64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself
65: do i believe in luck yes
66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!
67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery
68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes
69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback
70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal
71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY
72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented
73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad
74: favorite animal cat
75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!
76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )
77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron
78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know
79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny
80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too
81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs
82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people
83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of
84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda
85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?
86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it
87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF
88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye
89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye
90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though
91: kissed a boy yes
92: kissed a girl yes
93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot
94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs
95: left the house without my wallet probably
96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche
97: had sex in public not yet
98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school
99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high
100: did drugs nope
101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha
102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too
103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!
104: been overweight no
105: been underweight yes
106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???
107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing
108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely
109: been outside my home country yeah
110: gotten my heart broken yeah
111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food
112: broken a bone nope!
113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.
114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!
115: been in airplane too many times
116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not
117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember
118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay
119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!
120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural
121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no
122: had oral sex yeah
123: dyed my hair many times
124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.
125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.
126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.
127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.
128: stalked someone on a social network yeah
129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to
130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing
131: helped w charity i have!
132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected
133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually
134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday
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feenyreadscomics · 5 years
Text
Rosaries, pt. 5
Sorry for leaving on a cliffhanger! Last time, Matt had given up being Daredevil (though not officially, he's just depressed, and that's preventing him from Daredeviling) and turned to even worse coping mechanisms (self harm) and Foggy is about to beat his door down and fistfight Matt's brain, while Steve trails him, and Steve still doesn't know what's up. This installment will be a bit happier, as Matt gets help, and goes on vacation. Basically, this is a bit of a fixit from last time. Also I have decided Matt is tiny. For the sake of this, assume foggy told Steve matt was Daredevil on the way there.
Matt heard a banging at the door. "Matt! It's me, Foggy! And apparently a friend of yours!" Shit. Now's really not the time. "I know you're in there!" Matt quickly put the lighter and knife in a drawer. He unrolled his flannel sleeves, covering where he had burned himself. "We, and by that I mean Steve and I, want to help you!" Then Foggy started messing with his keys. Shit. He was coming in wheather Matt wanted him to or not. "I'm coming in, so you better be decent!" Matt walks into his living room.
The door opened. Foggy came barging in, heartbeat racing and smelling of concern and the crap coffee Karen makes and bagels and just. Goodness. Foggy is so good and he... isnt. He can't be good. He has blood, so much blood, on his hands. "Hey buddy, what's wrong?"
Silence. Steve trailed in.
"Come on, let's go sit down." Foggy sat down on the couch. Matt sighed and sat down next to him. "Actually, do you want some tea?"
"No." Matt tilted his head. "Steve, you can come sit down too." Steve walked over and sat down. Foggy put his head on Matt's shoulder, and threaded his hand through Matt's, absentmindedly running his thumb along Matt's hand.
Then Foggy felt a ridge along Matt's wrist. Really, it was a blister. Matt bit back a grimace, and heard Foggy's heart rate accelerate.
"Foggy. I'm ok."
"No, I'm fairly certain that's a burn. And you haven't been Daredeviling, you cant give me that as an excuse. So. What's up? Is this third year all over again?"
Matt nodded and mumbled something about it not really being like that, but yeah, it was also a bit like third year.
"Ok, then. You are going to get up with me, and we are going to run this under cool water, and do the medicine stuff we need to, and maybe see about getting you a goddam therapist"
Steve let the language thing slide. So did Matt. Foggy got up, dragged Matt to the kitchen sink, and ran his wrist under cool water.
"Does that feel better?" Matt nodded. Foggy dried off both his and Matt's hands, went into the medicine kit, and found the aloe. He applied it to Matt's burn, and then hugged Matt. Matt returned the hug. They stood there, hugging for a while, Matt resting his head on Foggy's shoulder, Foggy stroking Matt's hair.
Eventually Matt breaks the hug, and Foggy pours himself and Matt a glass of water. "Steve, do you want any water?" Steve nods.
They sat in Matt's kitchen for a bit. Matt sullenly drank his water, and Steve sat there rigidly, back straight, hands in lap, like he was a child told not to touch anything. Foggy waited for Matt to finish, then gave him a few minutes.
"Ok, now you are properly hydrated. When was the last time you ate?" Foggy asked.
"Only an hour or so," Matt replied cooly.
"And you ate what?" Foggy shot back. Matt grumbled.
Foggy got up and went into Matt's fridge. Empty. Damn. "Okay Matty, pizza or Thai?"
"Not hungry." And it was true; Matt wasnt feeling super hungry.
"Matty, you need to nourish your body. Not punish it. So, pizza or Thai."
"Said I wasn't hungry."
"Thai it is. Steve, do you want anything?" Foggy slides Steve a menu. Steve stared at the menu with an expression of total confusion.
"Do you like spicy food?" Foggy asked. Steve shook his head. "Pad Thai it is," Foggy responded.
Foggy called and placed the order. "Okay, they should have it ready in twenty minutes." Foggy sat next to Matt and put his arm around him. Matt leaned into the hug. Steve moved to Matt's left, and made a Matt sandwich, placing his arm around Matt as well. They sat there for a bit.
"The delivery guy is coming."
"Ya know, I don't think I'll ever get used to that." Foggy got up and made it to the door just as the delivery man arrived. He paid, and brought the food back.
Matt and Steve prayed over it, and then everyone started eating. Matt had a few bites, and then realized he was hungrier than he thought. Slowly, surely, Matt started to feel a bit better. He listened to Steve and Foggy as they ate. He could tell Foggy had mixed his food. Steve attempted chopsticks, failed, and switched over to a fork, judging by the dropping noises.
"Okay Matt, I'm going to give you the sniff test." Foggy lifted up Matt's arm and sniffed his pit. "Ew. For someone with super senses, I dont understand how you can stand yourself. Go shower. Do you need me to find clean clothes for you, or do you got it?"
"I can do it, Foggy."
"Ok, go shower. I'm doing a check in fifteen, so dont even think about drowning yourself." Matt made a face, then walked into his bedroom. He came out a few minutes later and headed into the bathroom.
"Sooooo..." Steve stared awkwardly into space.
"Soooo.... I bet you have questions."
"Of course. He is blind, right?"
"Depends on what you mean by blind. His eyeballs don't work. But he can basically echolocate. A true batman." Steve gave him a look of disbelief. Foggy continued. "Look, aliens are a thing now. You were basically dead for seventy years. This isn't the craziest thing you have heard of." Foggy paused. "Also he can probably hear us right now. Supersenses." Steve nodded.
Matt came out of the shower, dressed in an old tshirt and basketball shorts.
"Ok, Matt, now we are going to talk about how you are feeling, and eventually, why you lied to me, and why Captain Goddam America came into our office. I am going to need you to not ninja away." Foggy grabbed Matt by the wrist, and set him down on the couch. Steve awkwardly followed. "So. Talk. Why are you upset?"
Matt shook his head. "I can wait all day." Foggy stared Matt down.
Matt took off his glasses and stared back, milky blue eyes meeting Foggy's. "Please leave it alone."
Steve speaks up. "Would going to church help?" Matt nods.
And then they are outside, hailing a taxi.
--
They go in, Foggy being extremely uncomfortable, and find Fr. Lantom reading out of a book. Fr. Lantom closes the book, and waves. Matt sits down next to him. Steve and Foggy awkwardly move to the back, hoping to give Matt some privacy.
Fr. Lantom and Matt talk. Matt cries; he cries for the boy he couldn't save, for Mr. Smith that he couldn't help. For all the people he couldn't save. He cries over the injustice of it all.
Eventually, Fr. Lantom leaves. Steve and Foggy make their way up to the front. They sit, one on each side of Matt, embracing him, and Matt cant help but to feel like the angels and saints are surrounding him. Eventually Matt makes his way in front of the tabernacle, Foggy and Steve still hugging, still protecting him. Matt sits down directly in front of the tabernacle. He pulls out a worn, rope rosary and starts muttering, feeding the knots through his hands. Steve pulls out his own rosary, joining his own voice. Foggy, unsure, runs his hands through Matt's hair.
In the second decade, Matt starts crying again. The trio sits there for a while. Eventually, Matt gets up, dries his tears, and walks out. Steve and Foggy follow.
--
Matt seems to be getting better, Foggy thinks. He comes into the office with a smile the next few days, and will call Foggy when he feels the urge to self harm. But still, Matt has the remarkable (Catholic) ability of suppressing his emotions, and Foggy just can't be sure everything is okay now. Particularly since Foggy hasn't seen any Daredeviling going on.
If Matt were normal, Foggy muses, he wouldn't be Daredevil at all. But Matt has been hurt, hurt badly, and so he is a vigilante. And lawyer, because he hates himself. But things get really bad when Matt isnt regularly bashing criminals heads together. Which is disturbing. God, Matt needs therapy. So something is up.
That Saturday, Foggy gets a phone call.
"Hey, Foggy? Can I ask a favor?"
"Sure bud. What's up?"
"Would it be ok if I took some PTO?"
"I think so. Can I email you files so you can help out a bit?"
"Yeah. I'll be sure to pick them up."
"Can I ask what for?"
"I need to think about some things. Get out of the city, clear my head, that sort of thing."
"Can you keep me posted about where you're at?"
"Sure."
"Have fun."
"You too." Matt hung up.
--
Matt was just getting seated and comfortable on the train when a man sat down next to him.
His hair sounded like Foggy's college hair, swishing as he moved. The most notable thing though, was his arm. It whirled and clicked, and blood didn't flow through it. It also vibrated, not an unpleasant frequency, but unnerving just the same. He carried a large duffel, full of metal and plastic parts that clanked together as he threw it in the overhead compartment.
"Is the seat next to you taken?"
"No."
"Mind if I sit here?"
"Go for it."
The strange metal armed man sat down, and the train began to move.
Thank you for reading! So to recap: Matt is now out of New York and has met Bucky. (Matt doesn't know who he is yet) They are going to go on travels through the US, and on the run, while Steve and Foggy are in NYC, being team Blondie (Foggy in this is a very dirty blond, so often people will say he's brunette.) This does take place after CA:TWS, but I don't remember all the details of that movie. So here we are.
It does come up here, but basically: Foggy doesn't recognize it, but DDing is a form of self harm for Matt (headcanon here, and DDing doesn't have to be, but Matt doesn't take care of himself) and it requires a lot of effort. So not DDing means he doesn't have enough energy to deal with his shit.
Responses and comments are appreciated. Feel free to message me with any input you might have!
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graceeast · 3 years
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Chapter 2
Part 14
This is a joke NSFW 18+
Today Kim came up to me and A-aron and told us that her and Karen are going to see Hannah Montana in concert. I was like yo Hannah Montana is my jam! They said they were going to hard core marathon all the shows ever made because you know you got to have the #bestofbothworlds. A-Aron and I thought it was a good idea for Karen and Kim a night to themselves.
Later I went shopping with my mom she asked me what I wanted I replied with my usual watermalon! She then asked me what else I wanted I said I dont know yellow is my favorite flavor. So she grabbed a lemon I said no you stupid bitch I said yellow. So she finally got the hint and got a box of just yellow crayons.
That night I played Wii bowling with my bro A-Aron and I was like get good scrub you bowl like your mom and he said it be like that sometimes. Then we got high #hugsnotdrugs #brosfohoes #instaverified. Anyway since kim has had her kids her tits are like #nexleval I wish she would call me daddy 🤤
Part 15
Since the girls are going out tonight A-Aron and I have to take care of the babies. #notavibe but I will still help him apparently his kid Jim said his first words they were "shove it Karen jr. #fuckit" we could not be more proud of him!
I hope A-Aron and I can raise these kids just as good a Sanic and Shrek raised their kids. Each of Sanic and Shreks kids have their own swamps that's what I call very successful.
Meanwhile at the concert Karen passed out from drinking too much and Kim is half naked and Karona is dancing on stage with Hannah Montana and Milly Cyrus herself it was very hardcore.
Part 16
Karona fell off the stage but it's ok because Billy Rae Cyrus caught her. They looked deep into each others eyes until rudely interrupted by Karen . "Excuse me!" Karen exclaimed. The Billy and her eyes locked he straight up yeeted Karona and they had some premarital kissing. Gross!
That day A-Aron texted me. "You ready to rob a bank?" I was like WTF A-Aron did you take your ADHD medication. He was like "I thought we were bros weather I took my meds or not!" "But to be honest I didn't" I said you should probably do that we will talk later. A-Aron than says "I love you bro no homo"
The girls had fun at the concert but Karona is still a little upset that Karen stole Billy from her. But they made up since Karen said "he's horrible kisser I ended up complaining to his manager Hannah Montana about it!" "And we broke up." Karona was glad she dodged a bullet with that one thank our lord and savior Dr. Phil
Part 17
A-Aron and I have to clean his room today apparently I cause 90% of the messes. Anyway his room has a white boy white sanfransico vibe to it, it has several posters of pokeman. It also have posters of big time rush. After picking up his several pairs of board shorts we are lunch which of course was case of dillos #cultured.
Karen jr. Finally learned how to complain to the manager today since we went to friendlies and she got the wrong ice cream. Jim said shut the F up Karen and Boe just minded his own business.
I cant believe Karen won the presidency! Surprisingly since she was going against Bloomerberg. Science he is an old white man and she is a black Mexican. She didn't have a great chance but she made it. She is going to make America love shrek again.
Part 18
In Chillerys class today we were listening to one of those educational songs and low key I got turnt as hell listening to it. Later I ended up buying it on iTunes for my blue totally awesome ipod shuffle. I listened to it only 600 more times. I even made a dance to it to show Chillery tomorrow in class.
We all stood up and said the pledge of the memeist then saluted the flag with Shrek on it with our middle finger as it is the way he would want it. Then we said long live our president Karen amen 🙏. Then we all dabbed and coughed in each other's faces.
That night Aaron, his family and I went to the cheesecake factory and we ate like kings. It was very good till I got home and had explosive diariah every where. Gross.
Part 19
Today I started talking to Korona cause she a cutie. She and I decided to go on a online date on roblox since that game bops. Anyway we were thinking about going to Mac Daddys for dinner on Friday I'm excited! Except when we got there Mac Daddys was closed so we had to hard-core hand job and then well you can only imagine what happened next. Its closed because of of the pepperona.
But its ok because I got quarantined with her which was nice because we did a lot of HBO and chill. We take a couple hits of the mareajowana. She is my Quranqueen.
School is online now and Chillery was talking to us then all of the sudden there was a loud noise. "What was that" Chillery yelled. A-aron raised his hand and said sorry that was me I dropped my iPad. "I soiled my depends" Chillery exclaimed. I than said Sah bro to him and Chillery yelled shut the F up. Whoh Chillery has no chill.
That night I went home and I printed off some black and white nudes for my sweet heart KTVSPN4 I hope she likes them.
Part 20
Today in school a new student came on line her name is Cardi B. All of the sudden someone who had been quiet all day raised their hand. What is it asked Carol Baskin our art teacher. "Yes, is that short for something?" Cardis cheeks turned bright red she hung her head and embarrassed and said "it's short for Carigan Backyardagain" thewhole class laughed. Carol said if we don't stop she would feed us to tigers so we shut right up.
Today after classes Karona came over we had sex and I was pretty sure I tore my rectum. But you know what they say chuck it in the fuck it bucket. Also #worthit. She enjoyed it which is good because we don't waste. Especially seman and hot pickles oh my goodness after eating one of those and watching the hot pickle movie 🤤. Hot pickle I need to repent.
The next day A-aron was down and before class Skyped my friend group apparently Karen Jr. Was getting to be a handful. Thankfully Karona is into all of the astrology stuff and a-aron yelled "what can you tell me about scoripos?" The answer was simple don't be a donter...
Chapter 21
I got home and listened to Thomas the dank engine. Then all of the sudden Korona called me. "Honey you know how we had 69 on 4/20?" Yes I answered "well I'm #tomato sauce" what? "I'm sorry I'm prego" she exclaimed I said it was going to be ok and we would figure it out. "Wow you are the best" she said.
That next day in music class we had a project to write a song about someone who inspired us. Danny Devito went first "yes this is a song about me." He said he went on singing -"this won't make us fall there is still one man we can call, Danny Devito the one that we need oh" it was very catchy. The teacher wasn't pleased but it was better then kims song about Carol Baskin.
I'm so happy Karona is prego, today we find out the gender of our baby. Turns out its a girl we are going to name her corona lite extra. I can't wait until our beautiful baby is born!
The next day in class Carole was singing about her husband it was very sus talking about sardine oil on her husband. And something about tigers and how they be snacking on his meat I don't think in a good way. Anyway big yikes.
We had a baby shower for Karona of course on the internet dont want this weird virus. She got a onsie it said dada on it I can't wait for our baby to wear it.
Part 22
A-aron sent me a link last night it said under the link "looks like you" I of course clicked on it and you will never guess what happened. It brought me to a separate video I watched it there was some unmentionable stuff happening in it, I texted A-aron and said "I think that video gave me cancer" he texted "Thanks Obama!"
The baby is due next month and we couldn't be happier we decided that when its born we are not going to vaccinate our child because autism. Dont want our kid to be messed up for life. We are going to be using natural oils and food made from home and of course cloth diapers. Got to make sure she is perfect.
At lunch I was telling A-aron our plan he completely agreed that autism is way worse than being susptible to the flu or polio he said they didn't get Karen Jr. Vaccinated and she has only gotten small pox once and the flu 4 times since she has been alive. To me thats worth it
👌 💯 😌 🙏
23
Karen started talking about "he own business on Facebook and is trying to get us to start our own. "It only takes one second to share" she sells essential oils.
" its called essential oils for a reason"
I bought some hoping that would shut her up but it did not. The next day she talking about betrayal on Facebook and how hard she is trying to sell this shit to everyone.
Just shut up no one wants your oils!
I'm so excited for Karona to have the baby any day now she will arrive and we will be so happy and a family.
Part 24
Karona went into labor in quarantine with me I delivered my own child! Like we said it is a girl so we will be naming her Karona extra light.
She was healthy and thank goodness 🙏 it was a home birth because hospitals are so disgusting and they might vaccinate her and we don't want that because everything we are doing is all natural. We are even using cloth diapers because the government expects you to use disposable but i just can't in good conscience do that to my sweet daughter.
Karona is nursing which is great because we are planning on nursing her till she is 5 because breast is best.
Part 25
Today on Facebook Karen posted one of her normal posts. "Does anyone have a truck I can borrow need to move a couch also if you could help me that would be great!." And "does anyone have any Bobby pins I can borrow?" "I'm so done with everything" "anyone want to buy essential oils and be a model for me for free?"
What a bitch just trying to get free stuff from people I never understood asking for stuff like that. Like a few things here and there but every day is kinda ridiculous. Plus who barrows Bobby pins like wtf. Like I'm pretty sure those are one time use.
Today Karen also asked me if I would sell essential oils for 10% of the profits. She also said using them could help me lose up to 10 pounds. She said it just takes 2000$ to start out but I'll earn it back next month.
Yeah right I'll earn it back never. I just told her I wasn't interested which she got really upset with. "You know you just lost me 300$!" -yeah I did the math 10% of 300 is 30. Dumb bitch oh well.
Part 26
Karona extra light started talking today apparently she is religious because first thing she said was you may be verified on Twitter but are you verified in the eyes of the lord.
I have had many conflicting feelings lately back in elementary I liked guys but now and then I liked both, but now I'm leaning more towards girls but I still sometimes have feelings for guys. Any way I'm just going to come out as Bi because I still like some guys but lean more towards females. I told Kim she was totally excepting.
Kim started a job at worst purchase today she said her day was so easy and they are actually paying her a good amount. I'm proud of who she is
But who am I is the question
Well now that I got it figured out my name is Atlas Consintine I am bi-sexaul and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I am a chillis employee that has gone through alot but I think its time for this saga of my journal to come to an end you see tomorrow is high school graduation and pretty soon I will be thinking about the next step in my life. Probably join the peace core or something. Ps simp means squirrels in my pants doesn't anyone remember Phineas and ferb. Anyway that's it for now journal until next time.
Atlas
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viralhottopics · 7 years
Text
Happiness Hack: This One Ritual Made Me Much Happier
When my wife and I moved to New York City in 2001, recently graduated from college and newlywed, we were eager to find friends. We knew nearly no one but were sure wed soon find a fun-loving group like the 20- and 30-something New Yorkers who spontaneously dropped in on one another on
We hatched a plan. After moving into our Midtown Manhattan apartment, we invited all the neighbors over for drinks by placing Kinkos-printed quarter-sheets into everyones mailboxes. Then, we waited for our versions of Chandler, Kramer, and Elaine to show up. But they didnt. In fact, no one did. As the ice in the cooler melted and the guacamole browned, not a single person among 100 apartments stopped by. Not. One. Person.
Recalling that episode now, we sound embarrassingly nave. We didnt realize friendships in the real world worked nothing like the ones we had forged in our dormitories, let alone those we saw on television. Yet as it turns out, our desire to belong to a tight community was far from foolish.
Recent studies have shown a dearth of social interaction with people you care about and who care about you not only leads to loneliness, but is also linked to a range of harmful physical effects. In other words: A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health.
Dying for Friends
A 2010 meta-analysis reviewed 148 studies involving over 300,000 participants and concluded that having weak social ties was as harmful to health as being an alcoholic and twice as harmful as obesity. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, co-author of the analysis, told Reuters, A lack of social relationships was equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
A more recent study, published in the , found a biological response to loneliness that triggers disease. According to the researchers, social isolation sets off a cellular chain reaction that increases inflammation and suppresses the bodys immune response.
Perhaps the most compelling evidence that friendships affect longevity comes from the ongoing Harvard Study of Adult Development. Since 1938, researchers have been following 724 men, tracking their physical health as well as social habits. Robert Waldinger, the studys current director, said in his recent TED Talk, The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. Socially disconnected people are, according to Waldinger, less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.
Lest we think having 500 Facebook friends might offer some protection, Waldinger warns, Its not just the number of friends you have its the quality of your close relationships that matters.
So what makes for a quality friendship? William Rawlins, a professor of interpersonal communications at Ohio University who studies the way people interact over the course of their lives, told The Atlantic that satisfying friendships need three things: Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy.
Finding someone to talk to, depend on, and enjoy comes naturally when were young. In college, for example, we build strong bonds when nearly everyone around us is also searching for connection. But as we grow into adulthood, the model for how to maintain our friendships isnt clear. We graduate and go our separate ways, pursuing careers and starting lives miles apart from our best friends.
Suddenly work obligations and ambitions trump buddies and brewskis. It becomes impossible to be spontaneous without planning for weeks, if not months, in advance. Once children enter the picture, exhilarating nights on the town become exhausted nights on the couch.
Friendships Starve to Death
Unfortunately, the less time we invest in people, the easier it is to make do without them until one day it becomes too awkward to reconnect. Since we havent spoken for so long, we think, where would we even begin? If we were still close friends wouldnt we have spoken more by now?
This is how friendships die they starve to death. But as the research reveals, by allowing those friendships to starve, were also mal nourishing our bodies.
Case in point: Several months ago, I found myself in a funk. I now live in San Francisco and whenever someone asked, How are you? my reply was the standard Silicon Valley yuppie salute: Good! Super busy! Yet this wasnt exactly true. I wasnt good.
To put things in perspective, I wasnt bad, either. Things were fine. By all measures, more than fine I had a healthy family, a growing business, and interesting clients to work with. Id recently published a book that became a Wall Street Journal bestseller, and if my social media stats were to be believed, I had plenty of friends and followers.
And yet, the funk. I soon identified the problem: The more professional opportunities came my way, the more time I spent away from my real-life friends the people I truly cared about. Maintaining friendships with people to talk to, depend on, and enjoy takes time.
As an undergraduate, I first heard the term residual benefactor in an economics class. A residual benefactor is the chump who gets whatever is left over when a company is liquidated typically, not much. When were not careful, the people we care about often become residual benefactors: We leave them for last, giving them whatever bits of time are left over after weve attended to everything else.
The Solution, the Kibbutz
If the food of friendship is time together, how do we make the time to ensure were all fed? My friends and I have recently come across a way to keep each other close. It fits into our lifestyles despite busy schedules and a surfeit of children. We call it the kibbutz.
In Hebrew, the word means gathering, and for our gathering, four couples meet every two weeks to talk about one question sort of like an interactive TED Talk over a picnic lunch. The question might range from a deep inquiry, like Whats one thing your parents taught you that you want to pass on to your children? to a lighter, more practical question, like How do you disconnect from your iPhone on weekends?
Having a topic helps in two ways. For one, it gets us past the small talk of sports and weather, and helps us open up about stuff that actually matters. Second, it prevents the gender split that happens when couples convene in groups men in one corner, women in another. The question of the day gets us all talking together.
Consistency and Stiff-Arming the Kids
Every other week, rain or shine, the kibbutz is on our calendars consistency is key. Theres no back-and-forth emailing to find a time. We always meet at the same place, and each couple brings their own food so theres no prep or cleanup. If one couple cant make it, no biggie, the others carry on the conversation.
What about the kids? In our group, kids are welcome, but they dont run the show. Typically they play on their own, but if they interject, theyre given a stern response that sounds something like: Im having a conversation with my friends because my friends are important to me. Youre welcome to listen or join the conversation, but please dont interrupt unless its an emergency.
For our childrens sake, we want them to know that adult friendships matter. We dont want them to have to rely on TV to figure out how adults interact. By watching us, our children see that being a good friend means listening when others have something to share, and not being distracted by anything else including our cellphones, the football game, or even our own children (unless someone is bleeding). The entire affair lasts about two hours, and I always leave the kibbutz with new ideas and insights.
Most important, I feel closer to my friends. No, our group isnt as funny or spontaneous as the pseudo-New Yorkers I grew up watching on TV. But it turns out that fun wasnt what I was missing it was authentic, caring friendships. Making time to invest in my most important relationships finally snapped me out of my funk and provided the psychological nourishment I didnt know I was missing.
Not only that, it turns out the time I spend with my friends is also an investment in my future health. Forget diets and the latest workout routines. The best medicine may be to gather your favorite people around a table and make a toast: To friendship, and your health.
Heres the Gist:
Studies show adult friendships have a significant impact on our happiness and well-being.
Committing to my kibbutz has had the biggest impact on my happiness over the past year. Heres how our group works, but the lessons can apply to any adult friendship:
Book the time Reserve time on your calendar for the foreseeable future so there’s no guesswork or scheduling headaches about when well see each other again. Our group meets every two weeks.
Go deep Talking about a meaningful topic strengthens your bonds. Get past the shallow small talk. In our group, a different member brings the question of the day to each meeting.
Dont let kids derail you Children benefit from seeing you model a healthy adult friendship. Tell the kids they can listen or participate, but they cant interrupt unless its an emergency.
Read more: http://tcat.tc/2nX0I0T
from Happiness Hack: This One Ritual Made Me Much Happier
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