#but like how do i stop feeling like its my fault

[gimmeurtmi]

say please — han

pairing: han jisung x fem!reader

tags: established relationship, minor dom/sub dynamics, smut!🔞

warnings: swearing, minor dom/sub dynamics, both are switches, spitting, like a lot of spitting, squirting, fingering, mess!!, use of “gross”, “disgusting”, “messy” but in a sexy way, ji calls reader mommy, fingering, oral (f receiving), overstimulation, undisclosed use/disuse of protection, enjoy <3

inspo: ji’s insta post <3

notes: a gift for my baby juni @hyunsvngs i hope you like it it’s your fault either way <3

{ wc: 1780 }

“what?” jisung turns to you after you whine loudly at him.

you’re both lazing around in bed, have been since you arrived back home after going out for lunch. it’s getting warmer now but you’re still in sweats and one of ji’s hoodies. you don’t mean to match each other but jisung has a lot of grays in his closet, and so you end up in the same colour scheme.

“can you stop texting and give me attention?” you pout.

jisung quickly puts his phone away and turns his body fully towards you.

“you were watching tiktoks,” he pouts back.

“i’m bored of them now,” you shrug, caging his hips between your legs as you roll on top of him.

“and what do you wanna do now?” he pushes your hair away from you, gravity doing its job by letting all of it fall on jisung’s face. he splutters around dramatically before neatly tucking it behind your ears.

“annoy you,” you say, kissing his cheek.

“that’s not annoying,” he smiles softly. the movement causes his cheeks to bunch up, allowing you to take a bite from his flesh with a giggle.

“ow!” he yells, trying to push you off him.

he can’t, as you’ve trapped him underneath your thighs, and all he can do is kick around the bed while you keep biting around his cheeks.

“you can’t keep eating me,” he whines loudly, pushing at your shoulders.

you move back slightly, smirking at your boyfriend.

“what?” he gaps at you.

“you’re hard,” you point out.

“yes, what else is new?” he scoffs at you, running his hands up and down your thighs slowly.

“was it the biting?” you chuckle.

“no,” he looks away, “i didn’t know you were so strong.”

you knit your brows at his confession, cocking your head to the side slowly.

“what?”

“you can hold me down pretty well,” he pointed out, “didn’t realise.”

“alright,” you say, because you aren’t sure what else you should say.

“can i eat you out now?” he pouts, eager, as if that was the next obvious thing to say in that moment in time.

it wasn’t, so you start laughing loudly.

“it’s not funny!” he defends, “i need your lips on mine.”

you lean down to kiss him softly.

“not those lips,” he mumbles against the kiss, before sinking his hand in your hair as he deepens it.

you kiss him slowly, despite his efforts to turn the kiss messy you don’t let him—controlling the pace subtly, but jisung scums to it anyway.

when you’re both out of air you pull away slowly, jisung’s heavy breaths against your skin.

“want my pussy?” you ask, breathless.

“yeah,” he nods, eyes shiny, “yes.”

“not like that,” you click your tongue, “be good.”

“i-i am! you know how good i can make you feel,” he urges.

“i do know,” you smile at him, “i also know you have manners.”

“come on,” he pouts at you, eyes so so big in front of you.

you quickly get off him, pulling off your clothes in a hurry before you spread your legs in front of him.

“oh, fuck,” he blushes, “fuck it’s so pretty. pussy so so pretty,”

he grabs your thighs, pulling you towards him in one quick motion.

your boyfriend is so soft and sweet you can often forget how strong his arms are and the force he’s able to use on you if he wanted.

“ji, shirt off,” you tell him, and he quickly peels off his layers.

now you can see his arms, look at them as much as you’d like. it makes your mouth water. you start wondering how it would feel to bite his arms instead of his cheek, and when jisung sees you aren’t looking at him he starts whining again.

“attention,” he lets out in a whine.

you chuckle at him softly before locking eyes.

“can i now?” his face is a few inches away from your pussy, so close you can feel little puffs of air on your wetness every time he breathes.

you want to push his head right into your cunt but you don’t. instead, you just shake your head.

“spit,” you tell him, your fingers carding through his long hair.

jisung quickly does as he’s told, like he always does, and gathers spit on his tongue. he lets it fall down, maintaining eye contact, and his spit slowly starts running down your folds.

you can’t help whimpering at the feeling.

“more, more,” you ask, raising your hips to meet his spit halfway.

jisung lets more and more of it fall, a few times landing directly on your clit and you keen loudly at the feeling. “make it messy, ji, fuck.”

jisung can’t wait any longer, and he surges forward to wrap his lips around your pussy—but you stop him.

“you didn’t say please,” you tsk, “so you aren’t getting any.”

jisung’s eyes widen in realisation and he quickly opens his mouth to start begging. you fucking love it when he begs, but this time, it won’t help him. so you grab his wrist and sink his fingers in his own mouth before he can start begging and change your mind.

the sound gets caught in his throat, so does his moan.

“give me your fingers, ji,” you say, slowly moving his fingers in and out of his mouth with the grip you have on his wrist, “fuck me with your fingers.”

jisung nods eagerly.

you let his fingers slide out of his mouth with a small pop, and he wastes no time before rubbing his fingers all over your folds, spreading the spit around everywhere.

“messy,” he says, a little dazed.

he slowly sinks his finger in, and noticing there’s little resistance thanks to his dick stretching you out this morning, he quickly sinks in another one.

you let out a loud moan at the fullness.

“wanna taste you,” he whines, a louder one coming out when all you do is shake your head.

“fingers, need them,” you moan out, as he pushes in deep and fast. he adds a third finger, the stretch now deeper and so so sweet as your wetness helps him easily glide his fingers in and out.

you let him spit on your cunt again, a high pitch moan leaving you at the contact.

“tits, tits,” you don’t even know what you’re saying, “make my tits messy, too.”

jisung quickly moves up the bed, continuing the fast pace of his fingers before he sticks out his tongue above your tits.

they bounce softly from the impact of him finger fucking you, and he tries his hardest to aim the string of spit towards your nipple. it doesn’t work, so instead he rubs the spit around, smearing it around your nipple as you moan loudly from the added stimulation.

“fuck it’s so gross,” you whine, “so dirty.”

“so fucking gross,” he agrees, this time spitting harshly on your other nipple. the wet contact and his words cause you to start clenching around his fingers. “so messy, you like it so messy it’s disgusting.”

“make a mess, please, baby,” you moan.

“mommy loves it gross,” jisung pouts at you, and you feel the knot in your stomach start to tighten.

“ji, ji, i’m so fucking close,” you grab his hair, pushing him back between your legs.

his eyes zero in on your cunt, the loud wet noises and your moans filling the room as jisung starts to whine again. “please, let me taste.”

“fuck, fuck, i’m so close, fuck,” you chant, “ji!”

jisung somehow manages to fit in another finger, sinking them in all the way to his knuckles.

“ji, ji, ji, ji,” you babble out incoherently.

“mommy, i’m doing everything, please let me taste,” he begs.

“stick your tongue out, baby,” he quickly does so, his eyes wide and looking up at you as his tongue sticks out millimetres away from your soaking pussy, “fuckfuck, i’m gonna squ—“

and before you can say anything, your stomach tightens and your thighs starts shaking and your clit pulses as a gush of water squirts out as your orgasm takes over your body.

you can’t let yourself look away even as the pleasure takes over you because jisung is doing his best to catch all of it on his tongue, his face covered in your release.

your thighs are covered in it and so is your stomach and everything is wet around you and your walls are pulsing tightly around four of jisung’s fingers but before you can notice any of that jisung wraps his lips around your clit harshly as he pushes his fingers as deep as they can go and flicks them hard against your walls.

you cry out from the overstimulation and the way his fingers brush against your sensitive spot but jisung doesn’t stop, only pulls away for a moment to say, “fuck, i need you to do that again.”

so you let him keep going, the pleasure taking over your whole body as your thighs close around his head and you scream.

“ji, it’s too much, holy fuck—“

he hums against your clit and it sends you over the edge again, but for whatever reason you don’t squirt this time.

still, your orgasm takes over your body for at least forty seconds.

once you recover you open your eyes to see jisung taking off his boxers—that are soaked through his own release.

“i’m fucking the shit out of you, you don’t even get it,” he says urgently, grabbing your hips and flipping you onto your stomach.

you’re leaning on the wetness now, the covers soaked in your release and jisung’s spit and before you can complain jisung grabs your hair and sinks his dick inside you. the stretch feels so fucking good, your walls looser but still not enough to accommodate comfortably for jisung’s girth. and the sensitivity of two orgasms so close together means you’re already clenching around him.

“everything is wet, ji,” you complain, and jisung pinches your nipples in response. hard.

you moan loudly and he says, “mommy likes the mess, huh? so i’m gonna push your face into the mattress you squirted on and you’re gonna thank me.”

he pushes your face into the mattress, and it smells like cum and spit and a little bit like sweat and when you don’t say anything he thrusts into you.

“thank you, ji,” you whimper out, “now fuck my brains out.”

“say please?” he chuckles, before grabbing your hips tightly and drilling into you.

#all.works #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz smut #skz scenarios #han x reader #han x y/n #han x you #han jisung x reader #han jisung x you #han jisung x y/n #jisung x reader #jisung x you #jisung x y/n #jisung smut #han smut #han jisung smut #kpop x reader #kpop smut

[midnights-dragon]

I see you like good omens and hozier... Whats your favorite hozier lyric(s) in relation to az (i cannot spell his name) and crowley :)

Oh god why would you do this to me /pos

Hrngg I refuse to pick one favorite. I have several. You will regret asking me this.

Okay. Well. So.

First and foremost, from I Carrion, Icarian. This song has always struck me as VERY Crowley-coded in general, specifically with its references to Falling, but these lyrics just punch me in the gut in relation to him; it very much reads as Crowley finding hope anew in Aziraphale after his Fall, finding something to be his home now that Heaven is gone to him; finding all of that in the angel he met on the wall of Eden.

And though I burn, how could I Fall? / When I am lifted by every word you say to me / If anything could fall at all, it's the world / That falls away from me

And then we have Unknown / Nth. UGH. Y'all. This song makes me bawl. These lyrics in particular sing to me as if it is Aziraphale reminiscing over how happy Crowley was as an angel, and how different he is as a demon; how far he is from his stars, and how much that makes his own light dim.

You called me angel for the first time, / My heart leapt from me / You smile now, I can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth / And what's left of it, I listen to it tick / Every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me

These lyrics, contrastingly, sing to me like Crowley, doing anything and everything for Aziraphale and never asking for anything in return. And yet still feeling like he can't measure up to what HE believes is Aziraphale's idealized version of him; when, truly, the only thing Aziraphale wants back from Crowley's angel self, is for him to be happy again. To give him back the stars. (By the way - go look up the true meaning of this song, it's astounding.)

That I'd walk so far just to take / The injury of finally knowing you

SHRIKE. Y'all I have so so SO many feelings about this song but these lyrics. THESE LYRICS. They just SCREAM Crowley's confession. The words hung above / But never would form especially, and him feeling like it is his final cry to get Aziraphale to see how much he loves him, and how much he is begging him to stay, to be an us. And when Aziraphale 'forgives' him, Crowley becomes the shrike.

Coincidentally, shrikes are frequent hunters of serpents; as if Crowley is the shrike to his own serpent, and to Aziraphale's thorn. Impaling himself on it to be the shrike he THINKS Aziraphale wants. It's devastating.

The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final / Breath that is drawn / Remember me, love / When I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn

All Things End. THE final fifteen song. THE Crowley confession song, and THE KISS song. The EVERY song. Every lyric just screams Nothing Lasts Forever. They have never known a silence like the one fallen over them; they have never watched their futures darken in a single tear; they want it to go easy by being somebody's fault, but they've gone long enough to know that isn't what they want.

Just ... God, that entire song. It strikes right to the gut, and it is absolutely destructive in that way.

I have never known a silence like the one fallen here / Never watched my future darken in a single tear / I know we want this to go easy by being somebody's fault / But we've gone long enough to know this isn't what we want / And that isn't always bad / When people say that something is forever / Either way, it ends

Finally (even though I could go on and on and ON), we of course have Too Sweet, which Hozier arguably wrote while talking to a depressed, divorced Crowley in a bar. I don't even have a specific lyric; that entire song was sung by Crowley about Aziraphale, full stop. It's Hozier's version of Somebody To Love by Queen.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK it was absolutely tortuous and I enjoyed every second of answering it. <3 I'm so glad you liked my quiz!

#tristen rants into the fucking void of nothing #hozier #good omens #asks #silly stuff #personal #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #hozier good omens

[wwouldvecouldveshouldve]

Promise to Be Dazzling

1:11 Clara Bow - Taylor Swift

I can't sleep until I do this. Not requested by anyone, I just wanted to write angst. I was SO EXCITED FOR CLARA BOW AND IT WAS SO GOOD!!! this is the things that dazai starts and stops doing after you leave.

Dazai quits drinking. It all went down when he was drunk, and he won't let something like that happen again. He will have a few drops after you two end and will feel forever guilty about it. It is hard to quit but it is harder to disgrace your ghost. Dazai no longer constantly soothes arguments by diverting them in some other direction. He will at least address them a little bit instead of just covering them up and pretending like they never happened. You still would have been together if he stopped running away every time someone was genuinely mad at him. Dazai makes an effort to be more genuine and tries to show people that he is actually being genuine. He hates remembering how you were never sure about anything about him, how he would smudge over his true self and never ever show you a single thing that could, without a doubt, be from Dazai's heart. Your love for him lived its life unsure if it was even requited. Dazai does not ask women to commit suicide with him. He now abhors the thought that anyone could think he was interested in anyone else. If someone gets the wrong idea, he will go to great lengths to correct them. His past self haunts him with how he would never pay any mind to how much it hurt when he showed interest in other women. Like you were never special, like there was nothing different between you two. He wishes he could tell you how different you are. Dazai tries his best to keep his promises. He is reminded of the half-meant promises that would keep you from bringing his faults back up, how he would always swear to do better. He now wishes he could convey to everyone just how committed he is to all his promises now.

angst, it's been a while my friend. it was kinda trash though, sorry y'all. I hope you all have a wonderful day or night, and have someone or something to keep you tied to this world.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #dazai #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai bsd #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai angst #bsd angst #angst

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals. #definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in. #i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime- #-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting- #-of things like this. #making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird. #people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing. #and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm. #maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know. #all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that. #why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at. #sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[marsbotz]

good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff

ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]

#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty #may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think #i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels #and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it #shldnt be a prblem #i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk #for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr #and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon #lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc #its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it #from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!! #oke. bye #i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa #oh ill start up my queues again too

[academiaipromise]

the amptp refused to negotiate AI usage for tv and film

the amptp refused to negotiate weekly MBA minimums during post-production

the amptp refused to negotiate viewership-based residuals for SVOD and (high budget) AVOD series writers

the amptp proposed day-paying (!) comedy/variety writers and daytime writers on streaming as opposed to offering them the same protections they are guaranteed on broadcast and cable. 

there’s more and you can read it for yourself. let’s keep this clear: the amptp forced the wga to go on strike, and all of the financial, cultural, and emotional fallout the fault of the studios, not the writers trying to make a living.  

to quote amazing tv writer ashley nicole black: “this is scary. but a future where we accept what the companies are trying to do— low paid, freelancer writing gigs with no job security— is much scarier.” 

anyways. happy writers strike day one i guess. 

#kt tangents #writers strike #listen this is not me calling for any action do not read it that way and for the love of god stop calling for a boycott of anything #if you would like to support the wga there are strike funds etc but mainly just make sure to keep it clear they are not at fault #this is gonna hurt because its meant to. thats how strikes work. #and yes it sucks believe me i feel you (come join my grand summer of unemployement aka feel free to vent idk) but this is not the wgas fault

[aq2003]

i'll start drafting long posts talking about how some people overblow ten's ego/arrogance especially dw dudebros who ignore his guilt/depression/trauma and how his thinking of regeneration as death has less to do with him super really loving being Dweeb Alien David Tennant and more to do with him not wanting to move on from the deep love and grief that has defined his identity . and then i will not post these drafts because i do not want to be more annoying about ten than i already am

#like i so so deeply do not want to come off as one of those 'stop criticizing him! hes traumatized :(' ppl but also are you guys like #even considering the fact hes traumatized at all #how a full season is dedicated to how his ptsd affects him and his relationship with martha #and how him trying so hard to push his feelings down and not let himself be helped ends up deeply hurting martha too #i really do feel like people forgo this and instead subscribe to. like. #'it's like he had a bad breakup w his girlfriend and gets a new girlfriend and treats her like garbage bc he doesn't really love her' #rather than 'it's like his gf died and hometown exploded and he doesn't know if he should even have a friend and accept their attempts #to help him through his grief because he's afraid he'll lose them like he's lost everything else. But also he cant survive on his own so #he will drip feed himself human connection while not considering how unfair this is to the friend involved that he doesnt know loves him' #this isn't even touching on his suicidal tendencies in s3. like god #dr who #Uh oh i read this post and these tags over and looks like i AM being annoying about ten once again. its not my fault he's worms in my head #10 era

[shaitaani]

i sent them the pdf the shelter had detailing what is expected from the volunteers and after reading it they said no and are asking me to concentrate on my studies i keep telling i havent come to college to waste my four years studying and not doing anything i did that all throughout school and look where that got me i dont have any close friends or any memorable experiences from that era and now theyre asking me to do it in college also and they tell me im being ungrateful because theyve done so much for me

#its my fault for listening to them #not that its entirely their fault #its my fault too for not branching out during my school years #but like how can you do it when youre supposed to listen to your parents #i hate this i hate them i hate myself #ugh fuck #stop feeling things i said stop #its also my fault for bringing it up the day before my exams #i want my four years to be something i look back at and amile #if all i do is study and sit in my room and not participate in everything then what am i going to smile at? my fucking study notes?

[wellhalesbells]

LIAR YOU TOTALLY WATCHED ONE SEQUEL!!! 😉💜

https://www.tumblr.com/wellhalesbells/736050291745652736/friendraichu-jackironsides

HAHAHAHA, I should clarify that I just mean for super hero-y ones. I mostly watch the first one and rarely watch the second (or anything after...... or remakes, lol), I think the only Marvel one I've seen in recent history is Thor: Ragnarok. Actually, the Spider-man franchise pretty much encapsulates how I interact with Marvel properties: I saw the first trilogy because it was new and exciting at the time, then they remade it too fast and I refused to pay for something I just saw, that was so recent in my memory from the release date I could still remember exact scenes from it (THERE WERE ONLY FIVE YEARS BETWEEN SPIDER-MAN 3 AND THE REBOOT - THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN. HOW IS THAT ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYONE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN???), then I watched the first Tom Holland one (fourteen years I can vibe with) and nothing that followed because that's generally when the gimmicks and cameos start in lieu of good story-telling, or they make it dark and gritty because that's the only way to ground this superhuman, right (I assume a random white guy: "Should we fridge a lady? Yeah, we should probably fridge a lady"). The first one generally at least tries to have a soul because they have to introduce the character and make you care about them but many of the ones that follow (the few I've seen from when the MCU was just starting out and I had hope *coughs*Iron Man 2, Thor 2, etc.*coughs*) are just cash grabs that don't try because you already love this character and there they are, right there, so money please!

Meg 2 however..... EPIC, NO NOTES. It knows if I was a shark girl, I was probably a dinosaur girl and it gambled correctly. That's what you're watching this for? Have three sharks and an unnecessary (probably stupid expensive) dinosaur intro that is nearly completely irrelevant to the story but that you will also not want to live without and for an extra special bonus: oblivious husbands and their brilliant daughter. Like. You got me nailed, my dude. Will watch every subsequent sequel, no questions asked.

#i do understand that spider-man is a bullshit studio thing #and that it's a marvel property that belongs to sony and i implied everything is under the mcu umbrella #(and i honestly don't fault them for remaking it. instead i just don't understand how there was an audience for it???) #but they're all guilty of the same shit for different but also EXACTLY THE SAME reasons #they want to fleece money from me. because that's how it feels: like i'm being swindled #they're not earning my money through good content but instead through brand recognition and shared cultural touchstones #YOU CAN'T HAVE MY MONEY MOUSE #sony you can when it's miles (that is a sequel i DID watch and that DID have a soul imo) :)))) #something similar (cash grabs) are pretty much the exact reason i stopped reading marvel comics too #capitalism ruins everything #for a moral everyone knows *snorts* #also generally the sequels have bigger budgets and just to quote freckle...... sometimes things that are expensive are worse #great things sometimes come from people having to work within constraints and when you aren't given any....... terrible things can happen #like bbc sherlock lolol. AHEM #basically if i watch a sequel now it has to be a character i am VERY invested in so i'm willing to be burned - deadpool or miles #or it has to break containment from people who will go see anything with a marvel sticker on it to people who..... won't #and still recommend it - like ragnarok #(i wonder if NOT going the dark gritty route and instead having a fun story with a conflict that wasn't dependent on outdoing every #other conflict that came before it in this whole universe had aNYTHING to do with its success. hrm. it's a mystery!) #normally i would answer this privately but i had to explain about the sony thing so you would know i KNEW about the sony thing and then.... #tag explosion and now it has to be public and i'm sorry i went on a mouse rant. I HATE THE MONOPOLY MOUSE I JUST DO. #IT'S BAD AND IT MAKES BAD LAZY THINGS THAT KILL CREATIVITY (AND NOW ALSO FUNDS GENOCIDE SO) #!ask

[ofalltheginjoints]

#my fatal flaw is actually that i will never actually give anyone consequences for treating me like shit #like. you could stab me and i’d probably apologize to you #i got an uber bc i really didn’t want to wait 45min for the bus (plus the hour bus ride) #and like i literally hadn’t even buckled my seatbelt before the driver started complaining to me about how he’s losing so much money on #this trip and how lyft is screwing him over and that i should tip him $10 for his troubles and like. #i asked him if he wanted me to get out and find another one and he just kept avoiding the question #while still telling me how much this trip was costing him and quite literally making me feel like shit for requesting the ride #and i ended up changing the drop off location to somewhere that was like. closer bc i just didn’t want to be in the car anymore #and after i did that he was still going #like. i’m sitting in the back of his car on the fucking highway getting berated bc i just wanted to fucking go home after work #and you know what i did? #gave him 5 stars and 25% tip bc ‘well he shouldn’t lose his job just bc i had a bad experience’ #but now im sitting here at a mall waiting for my mom to come pick me up and trying not to cry #and i wish i would’ve like. given a truthful ride review or just skipped it bc like #no i don’t want him to lose his job and if i give him one star he possibly could #but also that guy was literally being a massive dick to me and i literally tipped him for it. #i want to be a nice person always but like. i think sometimes me being nice is just letting ppl do whatever the want and being complacent #and i fucking hate it #after like a while of him going on i stopped him and was like #hey man i get its tough and i feel for you but it’s not my fault and i really don’t feel like talking rn #so im gonna put my headphones in #and this motherfucker goes ‘umm ok i mean thats kind of awkward but ok’ #LIKE YOU DIDNT MAKE IT AWKWARD THE MOMENT I GOT IN YOUR CAR #expect maybe im overreacting????????? #anyway. um everything is bad and terrible rn and i just wanna go home but ive still got an hour before my mom gets off work :) #if you actually read all of this i 1) am so sorry and 2) literally love u and also im sorry

[kidfoundonstreets]

i love my friends i feel so happy asfter hanging out with them its just an unfinished game its fine ill happen sunday but i need to be there tomorrow to see my other friends and then about the movie night i need to comfort mom more because i genuinely feel horrible and im a bad daughter thats it im just a bad daughter im just like my father.

#vent #and my friends will look at me and tell me they appreciate me or laugh with me or tel me they love me or anything #but in my head ill always wonder how long itll last or what bar im on or how they value others more than me #and its selfish its so selfish and ive always known it and i shouldnt believe it i should stay in the PRESENT because they enjoy the time #spent and they LIKE YOU and i believe it thats why im so scared #and my mom despite all i say i dont love her but i cant stop feeling heavily guilty whenever i do something to her that #only makes her sad and is my own fault. #shes lived trhough all this for us. #this is how i repay her. im a bad child.and a bad friend. no matter how much i pretend i always have to ruin it #with my mindsets. #i wish i was better. i wish i was better. i wish i was better. i wish i was better constantly #im sorry im so sorry im sorry im sorry

[asyipyip]

hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims

#tma #kara stop blogging #thinking about the web. thinking about how it was his first mark #and how that mark how that unaddressed trauma so deeply affected him. #and how befitting that is for the web too- to tie someone up its strands for YEARS #thinkin about how almost every single decision that man makes is made out of fear #that motherfucker has never felt safe in his god damn life you can tell and im EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT #thinking about how so much of his fear response is CONTROL because of it. His ridiculous skepticism was him trying to control it #if he denies it if he refuses to believe in it it cant hurt him #about his paranoia and desperation for knowledge is so rooted in that fear of losing control #about his entire s4 arc and grappling with becoming inhuman. about not feeling like he has any kind of personal autonomy #and how so often thats written off as him making excuses (and dont get me wrong- he makes excuses too. im not saying he doesnt) but also- #like you look at what happened with his first leitner and its like. he couldnt move. couldnt do anything to escape #and then when the other boy got taken he couldnt do anything to save him either #of course he feels like hes never had any control #of course hes desperate for knowledge- if he had only *known* what couldve happened then he couldve prevented it. #the survivors guilt is so deeply part of his character #and thats what makes jonah targeting him so fucking insidious and scary #he took his man who is already so terrified- put him in a situation where he was so out of his depth #knowing that his fear response would be to desperately try and figure out what was happening- to keep asking questions-- #pulling himself deeper into the eyes influence and easily turning it around and making it Jon's fault #as if Jon isn't trapped like everyone else- it's just his fear response is so fucking perfect for the role the eye needs him to play #and then it leads to the ultimate trauma of ripping control away from Jon and forcing him to do something so fucking horrible #something he would never in a million years CHOOSE TO DO #how he's so terrified of being made a pawn and he is. playing a game against elias where he couldn't even see the board #locking him out of his own body...forcing him to open the door. like. FUCK #I MEAN FUCK DUDE. PETER LITERALLY SAYS “HE GOT YOU” WHEN JON ASKED WHAT HIS 'PRIZE' WAS #LIKE SCRATCH THAT!!! FUCKING SCRATCH THAT!! he wasn't even a player he was a fucking PIECE in the game #GOD!!! #GOD!!!! free my boy he did nothing wrong (he did so many things wrong)

[sanstropfremir]

I might just go on a huge tangent on here so I sincerely apologize, but I think this is something you've slightly touched on before, so maybe it's interesting to you? About the fact that literally Nobody on the staff/people who work behind the scenes of everything in the kpop industry are credited, mentioned or acknowledged for their work (other than, for example, the surface level “the designer deserves a raise!!!” that i so often see in mv comments :/). What I wanted to talk about specifically though is the company’s complete lack of crediting of these people?? I wanted to look into who directed this new mv that just dropped that I really liked the artistry, editing, and general composition of, but I found absolutely nothing across the group’s yt videos or their pages of who the director is, perhaps the set designer, editor, etc. Utterly taken aback, I checked the descriptions of other kpop music videos, from the most popular to more unknown groups (Twice, Dongkiz, to name a few), and again, nothing. I thought I was going insane, so I looked at mvs for like Amercian bands, and their video details are completely filled with the information of the producer, the recording studio, mixer, master, etc. etc, my point is: so much more than just the group’s twitter or merch page??? I’m like what is going on?? I noticed the kpop mv's only list licensing info at least, but so did the american ones? Idk. It’s either me not knowing where to look, or maybe I’m late to the fact that that is just how things work with kpop group companies or the industry as whole, just giving you no details as to who the hell else worked on this mv or song. I love my biases and appreciate their contributions, but I do not buy for a second that, more often than not, they wrote or produced or mixed absolutely nothing. I think it’s a huge shame that this is done because it reinforces the false idea that the idols are the ones responsible for everything we’re seeing and listening to. Maybe that’s the point, and that’s exactly what the industry wants you to believe, which that just makes it really sad. (Wait also maybe it all gets hidden because its work for hire or the companies buy ownership copyright...)

so i want to clarify some things for you, from the perspective of someone who works in the arts industry. firstly, and most importantly: visible credits exist in western filmic media because of unions. and there are still a LOT of fields that are not unionized. for thousands of years it was fundamentally understood that no performance based art form was done singularly by an individual, so there was often not a reason for there to be 'credits' in the first place. the whole assuming the face of the project is the person who did the most work thing? that's a very new phenomenon in the history of art, and it's capitalism's fault.

secondly: um. you are definitely not looking in the right places bc people are ABSOLUTELY credited? especially music production staff? i guess if you only look at a music video then sure yea there's not always credits there, but companies literally release tracklists and highlight medleys on their main social medias AS PROMOTION that have LISTS of their arrangers and composers. hell, tan's most recent tracklist has their fucking midi programmer on it????

also..............the fucking ALBUMS HAVE CREDITS IN THEM. i can't believe i have to say this but THE ALBUMS ARE THE MAIN PRODUCT AND THEY HAVE PAGES OF CREDITS IN THEM. i...????

like???

i got addy (@hoforwonho) to send these to me, these are from a lucy album and nayeon's album, and they literally have pages of credits???

lastly, and most importantly: the only people who are being 'fooled' into thinking that idols are 'producing' most of the content are western fans. because that is the stereotype promoted BY THE WESTERN MUSIC INDUSTRY. so that is the lens through which you view the korean music industry. koreans and korean fans are well aware that idols do not produce their own artistic content, there is quite literally a stigma around idols in sk about how they are not viewed as artists SPECIFICALLY because of this. gdragon and jonghyun were HUGE deals for being some of the first idol producers + songwriters. music is a huge part of the korean entertainment industry and people who make music are very much a visible part of it. kim eana is a very famous lyricist and she has a popular radio show. kbs just did a whole competition show featuring producers as the contestants. companies are not required to put credits in music videos because music videos are only one part of a kpop cb, and they are also not obligated to put those credits in english. just because you can't find something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and the whole industry is at fault for it.

#listen. i'm sorry to say this but it's not the industry's fault that you don't read korean and don't know how to look something up #companies do not need to constantly post every single credit for everything on social media stop expecting stuff to be fed to you #kpop questions #also: most kpop fans genuinely do not give a shit about the credits. if someone wants to know #they will go looking in the most obvious places for them #also also: not having the credits plastered everywhere on social media is partially a protection mechanism! #kpop fans are known for fucking stalking and harassment are you kidding me #and there ARE kpop mvs with credits in the actual mvs? i can think of at least three from the last year off the top of my head??? #and one of them IS a dkz mv?????????? #answers #text #bts literally got popular bc they copied the western model of pretending that the art they produce is 'authentic' and self produced #that's why they blew up. i've talked about this several times #its the western model and western fans that are perpetuating this viewpoint. #also oh my god mama has a BUNCH of creative awards are you just fucking thick???? #and i cant even believe im about to say this but. THE BIG FOUR COMPANIES ARE LITERALLY FOUNDED BY FUCKING SONGWRITERS AND PRODUCERS #YG LSM JYP BANG SIHYUK WERE ALL ARTISTS AT ONE POINT #OR STILL ACTIVELY ARE WORKING #...........i feel like i need to lay down #m8 how do you think i know who choreographers and producers are. of fucking course people are credited did you think i was guessing????