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egcdeath · 1 year

Text

clean sheet

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: nothing stirs the pot like your ex-husband, gossipy soccer moms, and a weekend-long soccer tournament. (part two of spectator sport)

word count: 7.7k

warnings: canon divergent: no apocalypse, implied past emotional abuse, jealousy/misunderstanding, kinda angsty in the beginning but verrrry fluffy at the end, insecurities, there was only one bed, mutual pining, sarah and chloe being menaces as usual

author’s note: this past week has been extremely rough. like, ao3 author’s note apologizing for being gone rough, so i’m just as surprised as you are that i was able to write 7,000 words of a part two to spectator sport. enjoy!

part 3 / series masterlist

Tournament season was nothing short of an absolute pain in the ass. It was a pain in the ass when you were married and able to evenly split your responsibilities, and it’s even more of a pain in the ass now that your ex-husband has decided to participate minimally in all soccer related ventures.

To be completely honest, it seemed like it wasn’t just soccer ventures your ex wasn’t too enthused to partake in, as Nathan had ditched most of his fatherly duties whenever a new, younger girlfriend was in the picture. But that was neither here nor there.

Despite Nathan taking Chloe to her past few games this season—you were completely swamped with work and you had practically gotten on your knees and begged for him to take her to them—he didn’t seem to have any interest in assisting you with tournaments.

That was fine and good. You knew about the events far enough in advance to move some meetings around, block off some time, and cross your fingers and hope that nothing came up unexpectedly in the days prior to your game. Although, what you couldn’t account for was your car completely breaking down on your way back from a bagel shop the morning before you were meant to be on the road for the next three hours.

But alas, the universe had its way of kicking you when you were already down, leaving you biting back tears in the passenger seat of a tow truck as you attempted to figure out a Plan B.

“Please, Nathaniel,” you pleaded over the phone, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you tried your absolute best to hold the last bits of your composure together.

“I’ve been at her last three games,” it was impossible to miss the sneer in his voice as if his own daughter was the biggest burden in the world. “And where have you been? It’s practically been a month.”

“Where have I been?” you laughed out of anger and at the absurdity of his words. You knew that he knew for a fact that you’d been drowning in work. “Nathaniel. You know how my work has been. Please just do this one thing for your child. It’s the fucking weekend. It’s not like you’re doing anything else.”

“It’s always work with you. You know, this is why I couldn’t be with you anymore. You were always so selfish with your time and inconsiderate with mine,” he sighed dismissively. “And for the record, Claire and I have a reservation tonight. So I am doing something else.”

It was staggering how minimized and powerless he made you feel after every interaction despite how little he actually was in your life. Every time you interacted with the man you thanked whatever forces out there that you somehow found it in yourself to leave.

You huffed and blinked away tears, hugging yourself to attempt to bring yourself some sort of comfort. After signing the papers, you told yourself you would never waste one single tear on the man again. You wouldn’t let a little argument like this change that promise.

“Can I at least borrow your car?” you sounded so meek and desperate, but you were running out of options, and with every passing minute you had less and less options.

Instead of responding, Nathan simply laughed at you before ending the call. Humiliated didn’t even begin to cover how you felt about the whole situation.

You angrily wiped away the hot tears that had slipped down your face without your permission and sighed as you evaluated what options you had left. You could take an Uber, but it would be ridiculously expensive. You could rent a car, but Chloe was bound to get stains and dirt tracked throughout the vehicle. Anything else was far too short notice.

You flopped down onto your bed and screamed into your pillow. The stress from your overfilled work week combined with an extremely inconvenient situation was taking its toll on you, but you needed to figure something out.

Maybe you could carpool with someone. Although, you weren’t sure who was still in town, as most of the families liked to leave at the ass crack of dawn. If that wasn’t enough, you weren’t exactly sure you wanted to sit in a small contained space with some of those families for a prolonged period of time.

Maybe you could ‘borrow’ Nathan’s car regardless of what he said. You were sure his new girlfriend had a car–if she was even old enough to drive one–and they could certainly take that car to their ever-important reservation tonight. Although, maybe getting a grand theft auto charge in order to make it to a soccer tournament wasn't your greatest idea.

You were deep in the eye of a brainstorm when a soft little knock rapped against your door, seconds before Chloe peeked her head in.

“Hi mom,” she greeted, completely unaware of the extent of your conundrum. “Sarah can’t find her cleats and wanted to know if she could borrow one of mine. Where do you keep my old ones?”

Joel.

Oh shit, Joel.

Joel who you’d accidentally ghosted after the promise of a date. With work and ex-spousal drama, you hadn’t even had a moment to think about the date. A knot tied in your stomach as you thought about how you’d treated him. He probably thought you were icing him out on purpose.

“They should be downstairs in the front closet under the coats,” you informed her. “You almost ready to go?”

“What does it look like?” she retorted sassily, doing a little spin for you to show off her full soccer attire.

“Alright,” you chuckled, trying to keep it together for just a while longer. “Go find those cleats.”

With that, she was off, and you were alone with just one option.

You dialed the number that you’d only texted once, and bit your lip as the phone rang out. The knot in your stomach tied and untied with each ring of the phone, nausea rattling you as you thought about all the ways he could answer. He’d probably be pissed that you were only reaching out to him now, only when you needed something from him. He’d probably tell you off, just like Nathan, and laugh at you over the phone over the mere prospect of hitching a ride with him.

After three rings, Joel finally picked up, saying your name aloud, as if he was genuinely surprised to be hearing from you.

“Joel, I’m so sorry,” you took a deep breath and attempted to hold back the wave of emotions coming over you. This stupid stressful morning. This stupid stressful month. And stupid you for leaving a good man waiting for you. A good man who was probably moments away from becoming a bad man, like every other one that seemed to appear in your life.

“My car broke down this morning and I don’t have any other way to get to the tournament. Is there any way we can carpool? I’ll literally pay you to take us. I’ll drive Sarah to school for the rest of the school year. Hell, I’ll take her to games too. Just… please.” It felt like you were talking a million miles a minute.

“Hey, take a breath,” he said, clearly picking up on the frantic energy you were radiating through the phone. “We’re heading out in about twenty minutes. We’ll swing by your place. And don’t worry about all that other stuff, okay? Just take a big breath. I’ll see you soon.”

You were flooded with relief as you spoke your gratitude and hung up. It almost felt odd to not have someone go off on you for waiting so last minute to reach out for help, or for not reaching out to them after you said that you would. You were puzzled, and not completely sure what you did to deserve someone like Joel in your life, but you were grateful to have him regardless. Especially now that he was coming to save the day.

Sure enough, around twenty minutes later, a pickup truck arrived in front of your house, and Chloe was sprinting to go sit with her friend in the backseat, still overjoyed from the news that she would be traveling with her friend.

Timidly, you entered the car, still anticipating a stern lecture or even a scolding for being a shitty mom, and an even worse potential partner. “I really can’t thank you enough for this, Joel,” you expressed before he had the chance to speak, hoping that if you expressed your gratitude before he had the chance to yell at you, the blow would be lessened. You kept your eyes down as you sat down and set your overnight bag in front of you.

“Of course. You know, I still owe you a favor after that dinner fiasco,” he glanced over at you and smiled, and some of that fear you had been holding onto began to melt away. Although, you blanched at the mention of the date that you were meant to go on, but hadn’t had the chance to do so. Yet, there didn’t seem to be any malice behind Joel’s words.

“I guess we’re even?” you offered, looking over at the man to attempt to read him as he slung his arm around the back of the headrest and looked through the rearview mirror as he pulled out.

“Yeah,” he said shortly, almost… dejectedly? Maybe you were reading into it too much. After all, his attention was split between you and getting out of your driveway safely.

Regardless of what anyone was feeling, your journey began with the girls in the back chatting amongst themselves and a slightly weighted silence between the two of you in the front while the sound of radio filled in for the lack of conversation between you and Joel.

You spent the majority of the ride looking out your window, deep in thought. You tried not to let Nathan get under your skin all that often, but maybe he was right about the way you spent your time. You’d practically thrown away your shot at any relationship with the man next to you, simply because you were too busy and forgot about a promise you’d made.

You tried to focus on the excited chatter in the seat behind you, and less on the venomous words Nathan had given you over the years, but it was a difficult task. Paired with the fact that you were still waiting for the shoe to drop and Joel to go off on you, it wasn’t the most pleasant time.

After about an hour of driving (and in your case, brooding), you had to make a stop at the gas station, as the truck was running low on fuel. You reached for your wallet and grabbed a twenty dollar bill, then passed it back to the girls behind you. “Go get some snacks for us?”

“Of course!” Chloe cheered, hopping out of the car and racing Sarah into the entrance of the gas station.

Joel was definitely going to go off on you now that the kids were gone. You held your breath as you got out of the car, leaning against the hood of the vehicle as Joel stood by the pump, his eyes fixed on his vehicle.

“I can’t tell you just how sorry I am. About not reaching out to you to go out sometime, and for having to ask you so last minute to take us to the tournament. I’ve just been absolutely swamped with work, and Natha-“

“You’re fine,” Joel cut you off as he acknowledged your apology, keeping his gaze trained on the car. Here it comes. “You don’t need to apologize. Sometimes life just throws a bunch of shit at us at once.”

You nodded in agreement, your breathing picking up as you waited for the condescension or lecture to begin. Yet… it never came. You weren’t sure if he was as upset as you suspected, but Joel was certainly feeling more than he was willing to let on. The lack of eye contact and his slightly off responses told you that much.

“Is everything okay?” you finally asked, trailing off. “You’ve barely said a word all trip.”

“Everything is fine. I’m just tired,” he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Well, if you’re tired, I can drive us the rest of the way over and you can sleep. That way you’ll be rested for the game,” you offered, taking a daring step towards him, and setting your hand on his bicep—a peace treaty of sorts. And maybe a hint that you were still interested in whatever sparks had been evident before.

Joel immediately stiffened under your touch, and subtly rejected the motion. He glanced over at you for just a moment before looking back down at the gas pump and shut his eyes. “That’d be great. I’m really exhausted.”

While you could believe that maybe Joel was just tired, there had to be more to the story. The way he rejected your subtle touch and the way he just couldn’t seem to meet your eyes told you that much. Perhaps you underestimated just how hurt he was by you not making plans with him, although it wasn’t like he’d reached out to you to set something up. In fact, the last time you heard from him was the night before the girls’ game following their team dinner.

“Of course. Go ahead and get back in the car, I can take everything from here.”

The rest of the ride wasn’t too long, but you were happy to contribute after asking for such a last minute favor. You drove straight to the grounds that the team was playing on that afternoon, as you were already pushing it on time, and certainly did not have time to go check into your hotel yet.

Your kids jogged off to greet their team and warm up with them, leaving you alone with Joel once again as you grabbed fold-out chairs from the back of his truck.

“You feeling any better now after sleeping?” you asked, turning to look at him and inspect his face for any suspicious expressions.

“Yeah, definitely,” he affirmed, but his words didn’t exactly match what it was you had observed. He closed his trunk and began to walk away, and you followed after him, feeling a bit like a lost puppy.

“Joel, really. You can tell me what’s wrong,” you practically pleaded, part of you still waiting for the moment he would tell you off.

“I already told you,” his tone was defensive, and when he turned back to look at you, the agitation was clearly painted on his face. “Nothing is wrong.”

You were taken aback, but understood that you had crossed some sort of boundary in your continuous pressing of what was wrong. You felt more like a kicked puppy than a lost one as you walked out to the fields behind Joel, setting your chair up close to him, but with a little more distance between the two of you than what you would have preferred.

You didn’t talk much during the game, outside of cheering for your daughters and momentarily celebrating when one of them pulled something impressive off.

Although you didn’t interact much, it still felt nice to be back at a game after being gone for the past few weeks. And honestly, it felt even more nice to be back in Joel’s presence after those weeks, even if it was clear that something had shifted between the two of you.

When the second game began, you were surprised to come back from your short leg-stretch walk to find another chair placed next to Joel’s—and a woman happily chatting his ear off.

A pang of jealousy struck your gut as you observed the two of them. It was no secret that most of the moms (and some of the dads) on the team (and other teams) saw the same things in Joel that you did. But you had absolutely no right to feel jealous, considering the way you’d basically led him on, and you had absolutely no reason to believe that there was anything romantic going on between them.

But you felt unwell anyway.

You urged yourself not to look at them for too long, instead focusing on the game in front of you, but the sounds of their voices and the way their conversation easily flowed was far too distracting. Just the rotten cherry on top of an already shitty day.

You felt ridiculous and childish sitting there with jealousy burning deeply in your stomach as you mentally ran through all of the things you could have done differently. Maybe if you’d texted Joel the night of your dinner and found a day where you both weren’t busy to go out together, or if you’d just said no to taking on a few extra hours, you’d be the one giggling and playing with your hair as you chatted up Joel.

It was official: you couldn’t torture yourself with staying one more moment with the two of them. Instead, you shot out of your uncomfortable little chair, and hauled your jealous little ass over to the concession stand. If you couldn’t go back in time and fix all the mistakes you’d made leading up to today, at least you could stuff your face full of peanut M&Ms until you felt better.

As you focused on tearing the yellow plastic with a little more force than what was necessary, you completely missed Alice—one of the more gossipy mothers on the team—approaching you.

“Hey babe,” she greeted cheerily. “We haven’t seen you in a few weeks. Where’ve you been?”

Your mouth was currently filled with candy, so it took you a second to respond. “Work,” you said in between chewing. “I barely had time to breathe, let alone bring Chloe to her games, so I had to basically beg on my knees for a little help from her father. Speaking of which, how was Nathan?”

“Oh,” Alice paused and looked off to the side, a little too guiltily for your liking. “Yeah, he was fine.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, brows furrowed at her strange reaction.

“Yeah! He was great. It’s just…” she trailed off and offered you an awkward smile. “We thought you two were maybe back together. You know, with the whole co-parenting thing.”

Your eye twitched. So the parents of the team were gossiping and theorizing about your love life. Great. That’s probably what was wrong with Joel—word had gotten back to him that you and Nathan were playing house again. No wonder he was putting such distance between you.

“Babe,” you tried not to let the annoyance you were experiencing reflect too much into your tone, “why would you tell people we were back together? Bringing your own child to their sports events is not exactly groundbreaking or relationship material.”

You were now gritting your teeth as the irritation really started to sink in. Joel probably didn’t reach out to you for your date since these fucking real housewives you were surrounded by had decided to spread baseless rumors about you from the moment your ex had stepped onto the sideline.

You were wrong. This was the rotten cherry on top of the absolute dogshit milkshake of a day you’d had.

“I’m sorry,” Alice didn’t sound as remorseful as you wish she did. You knew that deep down, she was enjoying this little game and would be more than happy to spread this information back to her friends. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s fine, the damage is done,” you sighed, shoving a handful of candy in your mouth.

“Have you seen Joel and Cindy, though? They’re so cute together!”

It was now clearer than ever that Alice was only interacting with you to stir the pot, so you simply put on the best fake smile you could muster and nodded. “Adorable. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go sit back down. I haven’t seen Chloe play in a few weeks, and she was doing so well in the last game, I’m sure she’s doing great now too!”

You didn’t wait for a response before walking off, attempting to suppress all of the feelings you were having with this new information you’d been given. In the three weeks you’d been gone, Alice had convinced the team that you and Nathan were back together, and Joel had already moved on. If you hadn’t cared so much about Chloe’s passions, you would’ve had her quit on the spot. You simply could not handle any more of this soccer parent culture.

Sitting back down in your seat, you offered Joel an M&M, to which he politely declined. You wondered if there was a way for you to casually explain that you and Nathan were not and would not ever be an item again, but then again, it seemed like with Cindy in the picture, the ship of making anything work with you two had sailed.

You attempted to focus on your daughter, who unsurprisingly was doing quite well in the game. You were glad that no matter how shitty your day was turning out, your kin was at least having a better day—and having fun doing it.

You simply went through the motions through the rest of the day, squeezing your daughter tight with a hug when all of the games for the day were finished and telling Sarah about how great of a job she did, then falling back into a somewhat uncomfortable silence on your drive to the hotel.

Checking in had proved to be… a bit of an odd situation. As you pocketed your room keys, Chloe made an odd offer—her and Sarah would share a room while you and Joel would share your own.

It shouldn’t have surprised you as much as it did when your daughters proposed that you and Joel share a room so that they could have a sleepover, but it caught you off guard regardless.

You were hesitant for several obvious reasons, but their room was adjoined to yours, and there was a perfectly nice pull-out bed in the sofa, which meant there was absolutely no need to share a bed with Joel. After some consideration and discussion with the man who would be your roommate for the night, you ultimately settled on allowing it. You would take the sofa. Joel would take the bed.

Besides, it’s not like he’d be spending the majority of the night in the room. After a short conversation, he was getting dressed and going off to dinner with Cindy.

You tried not to feel bad for yourself for too long. You’d already spent the majority of the day feeling bad for yourself, whether it was for the shitty situations you found yourself in, or the way the moms on your team treated your love life like their favorite reality show.

Knocking on the door adjacent to your own, you were happy to see Chloe crack open her door.

“Hi girls,” you greeted. “What do you say to a pajama party?”

“Yes!” Chloe squealed, swinging her door wide open. Conveniently, they were already dressed the part, and were seemingly ready to wind down after a long day of physical activity.

After ordering an absurd amount of room service and having nothing short of a feast with your favorite pre-teens, the three of you sat on the floor under a blanket fort you’d constructed as you played Uno with some random network romcom playing in the background.

It felt like after a long day of holding your breath, you could finally let go of it, winding down with your two favorite children.

“Do you feel like you had a good day today?” you asked, placing a green three on top of the pile of cards.

“Yeah! I missed having you and my dad together at our games,” Sarah remarked, drawing a card.

Chloe nodded in agreement, setting down one of her own cards. “You really spice up our games. I think Joel yells a little louder at us when you’re here. He was pretty quiet when dad was bringing me.”

You tried not to let your emotions show on your face too much in front of the children, but it was undeniably sweet that you being around brightened Joel’s light, even now, when things were a little more awkward between the two of you. You simply hummed as you set down your card.

“Yeah, he kept asking me if I knew where you were,” Sarah drew a card then placed the card back down on the pile. “I think he missed you.”

So maybe Joel wasn’t as mad at you as you thought he was. Asking where you were had to be a good sign, right? Maybe it really just boiled down to him thinking you were back together with your ex-husband, and him not wanting to cross any boundaries.

“I think you’re our good luck charm. Did you see how well we played today?” Chloe asked, discarding a card. “Uno.”

“I think you guys are just good,” you set down a card. “Uno.”

“I dunno, when you were gone we kept losing,” Sarah set down a skip, causing Chloe to exclaim in frustration.

“Our friendship is over,” Chloe announced to Sarah for what must’ve been the third time that night.

“Mean it this time?” she teased.

“I swear!” the pair broke out into giggles as you set down your final card.

“We need to team up on you! How is it that you keep winning?” Sarah asked, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

“She’s a dirty cheater,” Chloe tutted. “Just ask her why we don’t play Monopoly anymore. Right, mom?”

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “It was a rough patch. I keep winning Uno because you two keep targeting each other. What happened to team work?”

“No such thing in Uno,” Sarah shrugged.

You laughed aloud, feeling some of your stress melting away with the motion, “you guys are too funny.”

Chloe yawned and reached for the pile in the middle of your little circle. “You can’t compliment your way out of this, cheater.”

“Ugh, whatever. I didn’t realize I raised such a sore loser.”

“Takes one to know one!” Chloe jeered.

“Sure,” you chuckled. “Well, I think it's this cheater’s bedtime. Can I help you guys undo the pillow fort?”

The girls agreed, and you helped take down the mess of blankets, chairs, and pillows as they began to wind down and settle into bed.

“Goodnight, girls,” you bid farewell as you approached the adjoining door. “If you need anything, just come on over, okay? Sweet dreams,” you blew kisses to both of them before going back over to your side of the room.

When you made it back to your room, Joel was already in bed, the soft light of the television illuminating his face in the otherwise dark room. The light from the screen and his pajamas were doing him all sorts of favors, making him look like he walked straight out of your domestic fantasy.

“When did you get back?” you asked as you grabbed your phone charger from your bag and approached the pull-out bed.

“Like, an hour ago,” he shrugged, leaning back against the headboard.

“You should’ve come over and played Uno with us,” you suggested, attempting to get cozy in your makeshift bed as you pulled the threadbare hotel blanket over your legs. “We had a little fort and everything.”

“Didn’t wanna intrude on your girls’ night,” he mumbled sleepily, hugging a pillow as he adjusted himself in bed.

“We would’ve been happy to have you,” you muttered, trying your best to relax in the rather uncomfortable makeshift bed.

Joel simply grunted in response, his eyes now shut. You could only assume that sleep set in quickly, and you’d now lost him to dreamland.

You stared up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Part of you wished that this whole day was just an awful dream, and that you’d wake up the morning after the team dinner at Joel’s house, able to do everything all over again.

Rolling onto your side, you hoped that the shitty pull-out bed would become even slightly more comfortable, but your hope was to no avail. You sighed softly and closed your eyes, wondering if you started counting sheep, if it’d be any easier to fall asleep.

About fifteen sheep in, Joel’s soft voice calling your name pulled you out of whatever sleepy daze you’d been in.

“Hey, are you sleeping yet?” he practically whispered.

“No,” you responded, voice far above a whisper. “The floor would probably be more comfortable than this.”

“I told you you shouldn’t have taken the pull-out bed,” he goaded.

“You wanna get down here and sleep on it for me?”

“No. Well… Would it help you sleep better?”

“Joel,” you huffed.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” you listened as the bedsheets began to rustle.

“No, no, don’t do that. Your body needs an actual bed after all that hard manual labor you do. Lay back down.”

“Not if you can’t fall asleep because of that shitty bed. Trust me, I’ve slept in worse conditions.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Now I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.”

Joel paused for a second, and you assumed he’d finally given up. Good.

Until he called your name once again. “Come up here and get a good night’s rest.”

“No,” you argued, though your sleepy brain was practically begging you to move to the comfier location. “You need it more than me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You snickered, “whatever you want it to mean.”

Silence on his end once again. Time to start herding your sheep.

“Why don’t we just share? There’s probably room for three of me on this bed.”

A bold proposition from a man who got back from a date only a few hours ago. A bold proposition that you were probably a bit too enthusiastic to take.

“Fine,” you huffed. “Only to get you off my ass.”

Every part of your body was thanking you as you slipped out of the shitty couch-bed and padded over to the empty side of the real bed. Tentatively, you got in bed and under the sheets, making sure to keep yourself on your side and keeping your back facing his.

“Goodnight, Joel.” you finally whispered.

“Goodnight,” he softly said your name, and you imagined the look on his face. Maybe in a different world, one where you’d gone on a date with him when the offer was on the table, you’d be in bed with him without the argument, with his arm wrapped around your waist as he wrapped you in a warm embrace, or with him hovering above you as you attempted to keep quiet in a hotel filled with guests who were more than willing to speculate about you.

It was nice to have someone in bed with you again. Even if all you had was the heat radiating off of the man next to you, and the sound of his deep breaths as he fell deeper and deeper into sleep. Despite all that had gone wrong in the day, and whatever Joel’s situation was with his date, somehow laying in bed with someone else made you feel at ease.

You didn’t have to count any more sheep to fall asleep that night.

When you woke up, Joel was already out of bed, pulling on a hat and slipping on his shoes. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he commented as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. “Wanna get complimentary breakfast before it goes away?”

You stretched out as you listened to the proposition, wondering if the phantom feeling of an arm around your waist during the night was real or just a dream. “You know me so well.”

Somehow, the tension between the two of you didn’t feel so heavy that morning. Maybe sleeping in bed together had helped to break the ice, or maybe some other variable was at play. Regardless, you were happy to feel like your relationship had gone back to what it had been a month ago, even if Joel really was beginning to form something with Cindy.

The hotel lobby wasn’t too busy when you and Joel went down. You were certainly grateful, as the fact that you had just rolled out of bed and gone to breakfast was more than obvious to anyone who’d looked at you for more than two seconds.

You were stirring endless circles into your coffee when Joel sat down across from you, sighing as he leaned back into his chair.

“Sleep well?” he asked before taking a hearty sip of his own coffee.

You held back a laugh and exchanged it for the slightest hint of a smile. If only he knew just how well you slept. “I guess,” you admitted. “I always sleep well in hotel beds.”

You were completely uncertain of how to address the bed-sized elephant in the room, or if it was even a good idea to do so. But the lack of coffee in your system and the remnants of sleep clouding your brain had lowered your inhibitions significantly, causing the next words to tumble out of your mouth.

“Thank you for letting me join you,” you involuntarily held your breath after saying so, too afraid to openly wait for his reaction.

“Of course,” he hummed, beginning to stab at some of the food on his plate. “I couldn’t just let you break your back on that couch-bed.”

“Well I appreciate it,” you began to pick at some of your own food, the two of you falling into a far more comfortable silence. Obviously something had shifted between the time of the game and now, but you couldn’t quite place it. Since you were already in the mood to address elephants in the room, you had no issue blurting, “How was your date last night?”

“Date?” Joel looked up from his scrambled eggs with a furrowed brow.

“With Cindy? From the other team?” you took a bite of toast and didn’t back down from the loaded eye contact going on between the two of you.

“Well, it wasn’t a date. Cindy’s married. Happily, I might add. Just catching up with a family friend.”

You were slightly taken aback, but not necessarily in a bad way. Suddenly, you felt silly for all the energy you’d wasted the day prior feeling jealous and bad for yourself, when you didn’t even know the full story.

“Well, what about Nathan? Is he a family friend?” it came out defensive, and you couldn’t particularly blame him for it. Finally some proof that this was what that weird tension had been all about.

Maybe if your mind was slightly more clear, you’d find it cute that you were both a little jealous over each other. Maybe you really hadn’t thrown away your chance at this thing the way you’d thought you did.

“No! I told you, I’ve been swamped with work. Like, getting home so late that I only see Chloe in the mornings and when I tuck her into bed, late. She needed to go to her games, and I knew there was only one person I could possibly guilt trip into bringing her. But I would rather marry the actual incarnation of Satan himself before spending another day with her father.”

“Oh,” Joel said quietly, lifting his disposable cup to his lips and seeming rather deep in thought.

“But you thought I was with him this whole time?”

“I guess?”

“And you still invited me into your bed?” you pressed, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“There was nothing inherently romantic or… sexual about that. I just didn’t want you to wake up in pain,” he set down his cup, but continued staring you down.

You shrugged. Solid answer, although you certainly wouldn’t be opposed to either alternative scenarios.

“But even if there was, it’s only because you deserve better than that man. And from what I’ve seen, pretty much any man is better than him.”

“Including you?” you pressed.

“What do you think?” the little smirk he was obviously trying to fight only egged you on.

“I think I agree with you. Except, I don’t love that you just assumed something about my relationship status because one of those human rumor mills told you it. Next time, you wait until you hear it from me, okay?”

“I normally would’ve, I guess I’m just so used to things not working out with me, my brain was just looking for a reason why this wouldn’t work out either.”

“To be fair, not contacting you after saying I’d go out with you is pretty solid grounds for thinking we wouldn’t work out. But at least let me take you on a date before we try to figure out if we’ll work out or not.”

“You still want to go on that date?” Joel asked, sounding more astonished than you would’ve expected.

“What do you think?” you winked, tossing his words right back at him.

Just as your exchange began to wrap up, you were joined by two sleepy kids, who most certainly heard part of your conversation about going on a date. You couldn’t even bother with feeling mortified, too high on the knowledge that you had yet another shot with Joel.

“How was your sleepover?” you asked the girls without missing a beat.

“Fun. We missed you, though,” Chloe sighed as she buttered up a bagel.

“Yeah, Uno’s not the same without you,” Sarah added as she began to cut up her pancakes.

“I’m flattered, girls. We’ll have to have an Uno tournament sometime and get Joel on it too. Mostly so he can witness me beating everyone’s ass at it.”

“Language, mom. And we all know you’re a cheater.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.”

“I don’t know, I kinda believe it,” Joel teased.

“Not you too, Joel! You’re supposed to be on my side,” you laughed.

Your table fell into comfortable conversation for the rest of breakfast before you had to send the girls off to go get ready for their games. You almost wanted to pinch yourself to check if you were still dreaming after waking up in this domestic paradise following the terrible day you’d had yesterday, but even if it was a dream, you weren’t sure you wanted to wake up.

The rest of the tournament went smoothly, with the ice sufficiently broken between you and Joel, and you even joining in on his conversations with Cindy as the three of you sat together. The girls’ team ultimately won, leading to some very happy passengers as you drove back home. As you exited Joel’s car, you gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and a whispered promise of going out with him soon. To think, when you’d started your weekend, you never would have believed it would end in this manner.

——

“Mom, hurry!” Chloe yelled up the stairs at you, sounding a little more impatient than what you would’ve liked.

You could understand where she was coming from. Following the end of the soccer season, Joel had been quite busy, and Chloe hadn’t been able to see her closest friend outside of school hours for quite some time. If you were Chloe, you’d probably be anxious to see Sarah too.

Hurrying down the stairs with a newfound sense of urgency, you gave your daughter a little side hug.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” you apologized, understanding her urgency a little too well.

“Don��t be sorry. Just be efficient,” she pulled away from you and checked out your clothing. Sure, it was 6 PM and you were already in your pajamas. Sue you for wanting to come back home after a long day at work and put on your softest cat-printed pajama pants. “That’s a good outfit.”

“Oh, thank you. I was actually invited to Paris Fashion Week, but-“

“You can tell me in the car!” she exclaimed as she scurried off, with you following behind the little slippery bastard.

In the car, Chloe seemed to be acting a little… suspicious. Although, you didn’t pay much mind to it, making small talk on the short drive over to her friend’s house. Her friend whose father you still hadn’t found time to go out with.

“Oh yeah, being here reminded me that Joel had something to tell you,” Chloe announced as you pulled into their driveway. “Come in with me?”

By now, you were slightly suspicious, but the idea of having some sort of confrontation by Joel about you not following through on your word once again overrode your suspicions of your child.

As Chloe rang the doorbell, Sarah swung the door open, smiling at her friend, then up at you.

“Hi, come on in!” she said sweetly, opening the door all the way and leading you inside.

As you walked in, your eyes caught on a makeshift pillow fort—one that oddly resembled the one you’d helped the girls make during their tournament. Cute.

“My dad’s inside. He wants to talk to you. See you later, bye!” Sarah talked quickly, and even quicker than her speech, she disappeared up the stairs with your daughter.

Something was definitely up.

You approached the fort with trepidation, and slowly pulled up a flap, where you found Joel dressed similarly to you in a loose shirt and plaid pajama pants, comfortably splayed out on his back while he seemed to be playing Candy Crush on his phone.

“Oh, hey,” you said awkwardly. “The girls said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Oh, hey,” he parroted back, seeming even more taken aback by your presence as he immediately sat up. “Uh, I actually didn’t know you were coming over?”

Oh.

It was always something with your kids. They knew how to scheme, and they knew how to scheme well.

“That’s fine,” you laughed to yourself about the situation. “I was gonna head out anyway. It was good to see you, and for the record, you clean up pretty well,” you teased, alluding to your similar mid-evening pajamas.

“Wait!” he said quickly, nearly cutting you off. “Sorry, wait. Don’t go yet. Unless you have somewhere else to be…?”

You shook your head and shrugged.

“I mean, obviously our kids set us up again, but we also haven’t followed through on that date yet. So maybe we can do it now?”

“Maybe,” you hummed as you sat down next to him on a mountain of pillows. “What would you want to do?” you asked, gently tapping his leg with your fuzzy-sock clad foot. (Chloe didn’t need to know that what was taking you so long was finding these god-forsaken socks.)

“Well, I’ve been wanting to take you out to some snobby, fancy restaurant,” he began.

“Oh?” you voiced, brows raised.

“But I don’t really think that’s either of our speeds.”

“Agreed. I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I’m liking it so far.”

“We also probably shouldn’t leave the girls home alone at night,” he continued to think out loud, his soft eyes never leaving your own. You almost felt like you were caught in a trance by them.

“So what do you suggest we do, Joel?” you asked.

“Well, we have this wonderful pillow fort already at our disposal. Maybe we can order some food and watch a movie?”

“I think sitting in a pillow fort while eating food and watching a movie is my love language. That sounds lovely.”

You two smiled at each other, and you could hear your heartbeat pound in your ears as a warm feeling filled your chest. It had been far too long since you’d felt any semblance of this feeling.

An abundance of Thai food and an argument over what movie to watch later, you were curled up like a cat beside Joel admiring the look of his face under the lighting of the fairy lights that were hung up throughout the little fort.

“Ugh, why haven’t we done this sooner?” you asked, lifting your head out of the dip of his shoulder.

“We’re both too busy,” he murmured, looking away from the television screen to look over at you.

“I’ll literally take sick time off just to do this again,” you remarked.

“I think that’s just the Thai food talking.”

“It was fucking amazing.”

“Told you.”

“But it’s not just the Thai food. I really like you a lot, Joel. I like spending time with you. I like talking to you and arguing about whether a shitty romcom or shitty action movie is better. I like doing mundane shit with you, like putting up fairy lights in a fort to enhance our ‘fort experience’. I like cuddling with you. Has anyone ever told you that you’re basically a human furnace? Anyway, I hate the fact that our daughters had to make an elaborate scheme just to get us together. I wanna make more time for you, because you deserve it. But like, only if you also wanna spend more time with me,” you confessed.

“Of course I want to spend more time with you. And in the spirit of honesty, I really do have the time, sometimes. I guess I just worry that you wouldn’t want to spend your free time with me.”

“Joel, I would sit and watch paint dry on a wall if you were there with me. From the moment you entered my life, you’ve made everything a little better. If I have the time, I’m never gonna say no to being with you.”

He paused for a moment as he seemed to process that information, only coming back with a quiet, “Can I kiss you?”

You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him like no one you’d ever kissed before. It felt like the Fourth of July in your stomach as a moment you felt you’d been waiting for all your life finally came to fruition.

By the time you pulled away, you were breathless and felt warm all over. You could go out on a limb and say that as far as dates go, this one was pretty successful, and to think, if it wasn’t for your daughters’ intervention, none of this would’ve happened.

Yeah, you definitely needed to treat them to something.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us hbo #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller imagine #soccer parents au

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ggukkieland · 1 year

Text

📕BTS Fic Reads - 2022 July - Oct

I’ve been getting messages about my reading lists (because I haven’t been posting monthly and I really don’t have any excuse for not posting for four months lol). Though most of these have been reblogged, commented on, mentioned, etc. and that anybody can just check my archive and tags for the fics, I compiled them all in this list for easy reference (I refer to these lists too 😊). I also notice that it is easier to find fics when they are logged/documented somewhere and when described or properly tagged in the post. I hope this will help readers and potential readers find the fics they like.

💌 Again, these are not mine and we have all these authors to thank - I really appreciate all of you. I may not get to reach all of you but I hope this can serve as a multiplier and reach other readers to discover your gift of stories and for them to find their favorites 💌

Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author link and go to their masterlist

🥕 Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was posted]

🥕 Completed - drabbles | one shots | series

🥕 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst

Mostly Mature, 18+ only please

I read different members, different genres so please take note of the tags, description per fic

Don’t forget to reblog/comment on author’s work, too 😊

No AO3 Fic Recs because I have a more organized system on ao3 and putting it here will take time 😭 sorry.

[around 120 fics] I should really go back to posting per month to avoid this buildup

🥕 [Ongoing Series]

↬ Namjoon

And They Were Roommates @joonsrack - two shot [1/2] | 8.4k+ | roommate!taehyung who suddenly left for the summer and had his room rented by Namjoon, strangers to lovers, temporary roommate!Namjoon, unrequited love (OC to Taehyung), unrequited (namjoon to OC), namjoon is so endearing (but destructive lol), humor | f, a

↬ Seokjin

The A-Listers @httpknjoon - drabble series [3/?] | 4.3k+ | actor!seokjin x famous!reader, crack/humor, actors au, rumored relationship but kind of a mystery/guessing game if they are together or not (fun!) | f

To Kill a King @foxymoxynoona - series [7/?] | 100k+ | historical fantasy, political themes, royalty au, Prince!Seokjin | a, s, f

↬ Yoongi

Control @hxseok-honee - series [00/09] | teaser/background | demon king!yoongi, blind!reader, twin brother!hoseok, royalty au, supernatural | a, f In which a hidden princess, much to her twin brother’s dismay, concocts the most unimaginable of plots for the sake of escaping her world of pain and suffering. OR a demon king meets his maker and learns that the one person who can see right through him is a girl who can’t see at all. | a

Match Made in Hell @ughcore - series [7/?] | 23k+ | enemies to lovers (rivals), arranged marriage, doctor!yoongi, unrequited? (it begins as a mystery what their past was) | a, f

Twirl for Me @gimmethatagustd - series [3/?] | 19k | stripper au, single dad!yoongi, a bit of Jungkook, ballet instructor!reader (yoongi’s daughter takes ballet classes), secret identity (i guess?), strangers to lovers | s, a

↬ Jimin

Doctor Dreamy @jungblue - series [2/?] | 15.7k+ | exes au, ex!jimin becomes sperm donor, expecting parents | s, f, a

Rumor Has It @jananakookie - series [5/?] | 29k+ | college au, fake dating, “infamous” OC due to bad rumors, Jimin recently broke up and proposed the fake dating | a, f, s

↬ Taehyung

All of our Lifetimes @bangtan-madi - series [9/15] + interludes | 34k+ | boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au, kind of crime au, “After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories?” | f, a

Magic Shop @seokjiniwithluv - series [2/?] | 3.4k+ | club singer!taehyung, daughter of rich CEO arranged to marry CEO!Jimin, enemies to lovers | a, f

Stars Above @crystaljins - drabble series [4/?] | 9.4k | Alien!Taehyung, roommate au (intergalactic exchange program 😁)

Temptation @j-ungkooky - series? [1/?] | 3.1k | CEO!Taehyung, Office AU, Secretary/Assistant!Reader, sexy + humor, intimidating taehyung but he’s actually sweet, he crouched under her desk to hide from someone but this made everything so darn hot 🥵 (no smut yet) | s, future a

Toxic @jeonsjiddies - series [4/?] | 7k+ | stalker!taehyung, hacker!taehyung (using it to stalk and manipulate OC), coworker au | a

↬ Jungkook

All I Want @sxtaep - series [5/?] | 36.9k+ | bestfriend au, fuckboy!jungkook, nerd!reader, FWB au | s, a, f

Bedeviled @writemywaytoyourheart - series [2/?] | 9.1k+ | enemies to lovers, demon!jungkook, human!reader making deals with the devil - gets accompanied by jungkook to the underworld | a, f

Carved @haliiimede - series [3/?] | 39k+ | demon!jungkook x angel!reader, urban fantasy, dystopian au, enemies to lovers | s, a with Taehyung drabble Dominus

Colour Me In @taegularities - series [5/?] | 71.4k+ | fwb au, fake dating au, artist!jungkook, college au, rich au (oc/reader) | s, f, a

Free Use @littlemisskookie - series [6/?] | 13.6k | fwb au, unrequited crush (oc to taehyung), bdsm, childhood friends/neighbor, college au, “Your long time crush agrees to be your dom.” | s, f

Hurtin Me @lookingforluna - drabble series [1/?] | 570 words | ex-FWB, fuckboy!jungkook, roommate au, friends to lovers? | a, s

Idol Jungkook Headcanon @magicshopaholic - series (of one shots but can be read standalone) [4/?] | 42k+ | idol!jungkook, staff!OC (named Lia), strangers to lovers, bad dates, idiots to lovers, eventual dating | f, s The Fifth / Part 2 The Sixth Honey

In Your Eyes @prodgguk - series [00/?] | 1.3k+ (teaser) | widow!reader, detective!jungkook x doctor!reader, past: yoongi x reader (but he passed away) | a, f

Little Baby Bear 2.0 @xddaengx - two shot [1/2] | 5.4k | hybrid!jungkook (he’s a bear hybrid and he’s so cute 🥺), , ex-boyfriend!hoseok who originally owns jungkook but dumped him onto OC, hybrid!taehyung (tiger), hurt/comfort, beginning might be confusing so I read the original version too | a, f

Long Way Home @sparklingchim - drabble series [24/?] | 40k+ | single dad!jungkook, bestfriend!reader, unrequited love, idiots to lovers, feat. Jimin as OC’s fwb | a, f, s

Maniac @strawbearytae - two shot [1/2] | 3.3k+ | exes au, mutual pining, mutual break up, but not kind of ignoring each other, got assigned for a project/Music Festival | a (so far)

Milestones @valorkook - series [00/?] | 900+ | hospital au, doctor!jungkook, nurse!reader, tsundere!jungkook, enemies to lovers | f, a

↬ OT7/Multi

Double Trouble @bangtanstanst & @jooneos - Jungkook x Reader | Christian Yu x Reader

series [3/?] | 59k+ | tattoo artist!jungkook, tattoo artist!christian yu, flower shop staff!reader, roommate au (jk x oc), friends to lovers, bet/dare au (JK bet he’d be better than CY), some jealousy involved | s, a, f

🌷So I read this years ago and I wasn’t that aware of Christian Yu but then this fic blew my mind and I’m so into this pairing/love triangle/poly relationship even though I still don’t follow CY that much at present time. This is just crazy hot. It doesn’t help that there’s this post years ago predicting that Jungkook’s future state is Christian Yu (tattooed, hot but cool).

Office Hours @softiegguk - OT7 x Reader

series [2/7] | 12.2k+ | office bangtan, office au, bts x finance manager!reader, pwp, coworkers au, staff accountant!jungkook, admin assistant!taehyung, project manager yoongi (coming soon), business analyst jimin (coming soon), sales representative hoseok (soon), executive assistant!seokjin (soon), CEO!Namjoon (soon) | s

↬ Themed Series

The Nanny Diaries @btsgotjams27 - OT7 (individual drabble series) bts themed series, single mom!reader, accidental nanny!bangtan, humor | f

namjoon | au: neighbors ➥ the reluctant nanny (tba)

jin | au: friends ➥ the accidental nanny

yoongi | au: housemates➥ the i-had-no-choice nanny

hoseok ~ ?

jimin | au: co-workers

taehyung ~ ?

jungkook | au: strangers to friends➥ the unexpected nanny➥ the blind date➥ the weekend trip

🥕 [Completed Fics/Series]

I Love You @ughseoks - drabble } 1.8k | slice of life, strangers to lovers, established relationship, boyfriend to husband, expecting parents au, tooth-rotting fluff, snippets of important moments with Namjoon | f (i love this! I still cry thinking about this drabble)

The Interpretation of Dreams @ppersonna - one shot | 13.8k | PhD Mentor Namjoon, Post-grad, OC/Reader crushing on Namjoon | s, f

Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice @dalamjisung - series [3/3] | 11.9k | unrequited au (oc to namjoon), best friend jisoo went after namjoon too, self-discovery fic (for OC), more on OC and her relationship with Jisoo and discovering her true friends/true self | a, f

Lost in the Funhouse @dovechim - one shot | 9.7k | thriller, prisoner!namjoon, asylum, psych patient, psychological, criminal au, psychiatrist!reader | s

Mission @dreamscript - one shot | 3.2k | spy au, team leader!namjoon, established relationship, coworker, action (slight), hurt/comfort (oc comforts him when he felt he messed up leading a mission and OC got hurt) | f

Sail @sunshinejoon - drabble | 1.6k | strangers to lovers, idol!namjoon, staff!reader, eventual established relationship, boyfriend au, tattooed!reader (which Namjoon got curious of), hurt and comfort too | f

Show me How @imaginationofacrazyfangirl - one shot | 3.9k | virgin!reader who decided to hook up through tinder, dating app, strangers to lovers, not sure if this is ongoing but it ended with a vibe that it has a continuation(?) | s

Straps & Chokers @joonsrack - drabble | 2.1k | CEO!Namjoon x Assistant!reader, boss-employee relationship (reader finds him stressful at work), BDSM Club, Meeting your boss in a BDSM club is probably the last thing you were expecting coming here. | s (nothing graphic but very mature themes)

The Body Through Time @yeoldontknow - one shot | 10.9k | exes au, falling out/break up, post-grad, professor!namjoon, OC offered graduate assistant position (Art History Dept) and needs Namjoon’s signature but he’s still hurt 🥺| a, s, f

The Wedding Arrangement @sugaurora - one shot | 44k | enemies to lovers, turned FWB, neighbor au, medical/health professional (physician’s associate!reader), construction contractor!namjoon, wedding au (seokjin’s), unrequited love (oc to seokjin) | a, f, s

Til Death Do Us Part @justimajin - series [11/11] | 49.2k | arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, assassin au/agent au, heirs, action, themes of revenge, some minor ☠️| a, f, s

All an Act @tteokggukk - one shot | 10.6k | acting major seokjin and oc/reader, enemies to lovers, college au, humor | f, implied s

Timelines @doyouknowbts - series [8/8] | 27.1k | soulmate au, time travel au/teleporting, time slip, doctor!seokjin, journalist!reader | a, f

Amour Propre Blind Spot @randombtsprincessa - two shot [2/2] | 8.9k | idol!yoongi, break up au | a, f

Bubbles @dreamcatcherjiah - SMAU | neighbor au, mutual pining, producer!yoongi x writer!reader, parenting au (they are the usual babysitters of their neighbor’s baby Yoonji), something happened to to Yoonji’s Dad and they got appointed to be the guardians | f, a

The Couples Package @pars-ley - one shot | 2k | friends to lovers, fake dating au, vacation au, asked yoongi to join for the couples trip but there is couples therapy in the package (that ended up being too real) | a, f

Dawning Revelation @artaefact - drabble | 522 words | police au, supernatural, detective!yoongi, devil!reader | a

Fixer Upper @gukyi - drabble 1.5k | established relationship, slice of life, humor, tooth-rotting fluff, yoongi keeps asking you to fix things in your new apartment, and it’s getting ridiculous.| f

Post-prank Smutty Drabble @btsqualityy - drabble | 500 words | pwp, husband!yoongi, just filthy, based on a request “...continuation of a smut drabble of YG and mama min of that bad prank that she pulled on Yoongi” | s

Recompense @vminity21 - drabble | 2.9k | college au, used to be childhood friends but grew apart after OC moved away, kind of enemies to lovers (just bickering), tsundere!yoongi, themes of grief, hurt/comfort | a, f

The Art Critic @mooniyooni - drabble | >1k | established relationship, husband!yoongi, dad!yoongi, parenting (yoongi babysitting the babies) Idolverse, tooth-rotting fluff | f

The Devil Skates on Thin Ice @vankoya - series [3/3] | 60.3k | slow burn, exes, figure skater!reader, hockey player!tyoongi, enemies to lovers, college au, sports au, falling out + mutual pining (so I guess this makes it idiots to lovers too), we discover their history and I love the slow burn, a fandom classic really | a, f

Vows aka 10 ways to win your husband's heart @hamsterclaw - two shot + drabbles | 28k+ | arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, sort of fwb too, rich au, heartwarming really I just like this Yoongi, bratty!reader (and oh I wanna tag him as the doting husband), Yoongi was dating someone when he was “forced” to marry OC, OC tried to atone for the times she embarrassed Yoongi, seriously one of my favorite OTPs | f, s

Catch Your Death @dovechim - one shot | 5.1k | hybrid au, arranged marriage, proof of consummation, snow leopard!hoseok, general!hoseok, princess!reader, royalty | s

Checkmate @sunshinejoon - drabble | 743 words | fuckboy!hoseok, unaffected OC (in the beginning), I guess playing with hearts, this was supposed to have a continuation (but this is the last) | a

Feral @lovesickjoon - one shot | 4.1k | best friend au, unrequited love, werewolf!hoseok, supernatural, pwp | s

Head Over Heels to Hell @jimlingss - one shot | 27.5k | soulmate au, reincarnation au, enemies to lovers, college (in the present time) to post-college, childhood friends/acquaintance (present time), star-crossed lovers (past lives), past lives themes of: war, historical, thievery, pregnancy, an amazing PLOT TWIST, humor #holygrailfics | a, f

Make a Move @alpacaparkaseok - one shot | 4.6k | humor, tooth-rotting fluff, roommate au, strangers to lovers, mistaken identity (OC thought roommate Hobi is a girl) | f

Simmer @gimmeyoon - one shot | 17.1k | exes au, falling out, mutual pining, OC came back to town, summer au, coworker au, summer job at a restaurant, eventual angst (why we broke up moment), kind of star-crossed (person with a future vs someone who will hold her back) | a, s, f

Ubiquitous @sunshinejoon - drabble | 1.9k | some parts epistolary, exes au, break up au, OC/Reader discovered a stash of letters by Hoseok when they were still together | a, f

Adonis @xjoonchildx - one shot | 3.4k | humor/crack (this is super funny), paramedic!jimin, nosy meddling lady/neighbor who decided to play matchmaker lol, meet cute, strangers to lovers | f

Best of Me @xotoosweet - two shot [2/2] | 21.6k | slow burn, slice of life, hurt/comfort (themes of depression), fratboy!jimin, college au, strangers to friends to lovers, meet cute (basically saw her diving into a river), one night stand, adulting themes | f, a, implied s

Cathexis @jkeuphoriadreamland - series [3/3] | 27k | thriller, supernatural, firestarter!jimin, OC/Reader used to defend Jimin when he was getting bullied, Jimin comes back to town, a bit mystery (jimin’s powers), slight yandere behavior | f, s

Falling @jvngkook97 - drabble | 990 words | exes au, reunion - catching up over coffee, idol!jimin, mutual pining | a, f

Hooked @parkdatjimin - series [7/7] + drabbles | 56k | nerd!jimin, college au, fwb au, mutual pining | s, f, a

Insatiable + Illusion @artaefact - drabble | >1k | fantasy, angel!jimin x demon!reader, star-crossed forbidden romance, “when he still comes back to you” | a, bittersweet f

Midnight Munchies @yoongihime - one shot | 2.2k | humor, strangers to lovers, college au, delivery boy!jimin, customer!reader, from the prompt: “i made my special request for my pizza for them to send their cutest delivery person and you showed up and apologized that you were the only one delivering tonight and i blurted out that they still got my request right” | tooth-rotting fluff

Rhythmic @darlingwoes - drabble | 2.2k | established relationship, boyfriend au, dancer!jimin, practice room setting, oc/reader hates the song and Jimin danced with OC to make a new memory (uWu) | f, s

The Girl Next Door @alpacaparkaseok - drabble | >3k | strangers to lovers, amusement park, mascot!jimin (he’s chimmy T_T) | f

Jimin Birthday Reblogs

a reblog of my favorite Jimin fics with this hashtag #Happy Jimin Day Fave Fics 2022

about 40+ fics 🙀

5 Times He Said I Love You @n3onguts - one shot | 5k | different versions of ‘i love you’ told throughout the course of a relationship, established relationship, break up or dissolution of a relationship, angsty | a

Armful @ughseoks - drabble | 1.2k | werewolf!taehyung, hairy arm taehyung (something I didn’t know I’d find hot but thank you dear writer), established relationship, boyfriend!taehyung, pwp | s

Broken Rings & Queens and Things @gukyi - one shot | 24k | arranged marriage, kind of fuckboy!taehyung, royalty au, enemies to lovers, prince!taehyung x princess!reader | f, slight a, slight s

Cipher @alpacaparkaseok - one shot | 14.1k | supernatural-ish, mystery, humor too (the two characters have funny exchanges in the beginning), so kind of enemies to lovers vibes too, some plot twist, fairy tale/folk tale reference (Peter Pan & Pied Piper), fortune teller!taehyung, it’s also thrilling though it’s not the usual thriller | f, a

Cold Husband!Taehyung + Kissing each other breathless drabble @leefics - drabble | 1.3k | CEO!Taehyung, arranged marriage au, first kiss prompt, taehyung picking up drunk wife who got emotional thinking taehyung doesn’t like her | f (super cute)

Dickless @monimonimoon - one shot | 11.1k | OC with a boyfriend who can’t satisfy her in some ways, fwb taehyung, cheating OC (unapologetically) | s

The End of Us @angelseokjinnie - drabble | 3.4k | sugar daddy au, four years as sugar baby (by contract) - starts to develop feelings for Taehyung, just graduated!reader | a, s

Good Girls Go Bad @jkstompers - series [3/3] + drabbles | 46k+ | slow burn, hurt/comfort too for Don’t Watch Me Cry drabble, mutual pining, strangers to lovers, then friends to lovers, bad boy au, college au, intimidating taehyung x chirpy cute!oc who asked taehyung to teach her how to be bad, makeover au? | a, f, s

Higher @ppersonna - one shot | 3.8k | strangers to lovers, mile high club, airplane setting, pwp | s, slight f

Locked & Loaded @justimajin - one shot | 10k | action, secret agent au, coworkers, unrequited (for OC), oblivious taehyung (jungkook had to spell it out for him ugh), humor/comedy, boss!yoongi | f

Lost @salvejoon - one shot | 4.7k | enemies to lovers, fuckboy!taehyung, only one bed trope, getting lost, vacation au, stranded au, their best friends are dating (Jimin x OC) but Taehung x Reader don’t like each other (or don’t they? 😉) | a, f, s

Moneyball @oshbluepacific - drabble | 2k | mafia!taehyung, husband!taehyung, arranged marriage, casino setting, some girls thirsting over taehyung and being rude to OC (not knowing she’s the wife), gambling | f

Only One Bed E2L Taehyung drabble @taestefully-in-luv - drabble | 3.3k | humor, e2l, only one bed trope, coworkers, rivalry since college | s

The Only One @jjungkookislife - one shot | 8.7k | best friend au, fuckboy!taehyung, fwb, Taehyung is from the You Up? universe (JK’s story) | s, f

Picture It @dalamjisung - one shot | 4.9k | strangers to lovers, coffee shop setting, photographer Taehyung who job hops, hurt/comfort (adulting & surviving despite parental expectations), mutual pining (they are each other’s muses and OC would write about this Taehyung she just sees at the cafe) | f (really cute and heartwarming too)

Poison Apple @jooniyah - series [3/3] | 82.36k | thriller, mafia au, yandere and psychotic behavior from Taehyung (he’s just…insane), happy ending for OC (or, for now), OC originally married to Yoongi, MIND THE TAGS!!! (not for the faint of heart) | a, s

Restart @yuudetama - drabble | 740 | break up, divorce au, taehyung and soon-to-be-ex-wife talking about turning back the clock over coffee | a (angsty but beautifully written)

Sea Star + Beside You @koyamuses - two shot [2/2] | 6.4k | pirate king!!taehyung, established relationship, LDR (he’s away at sea), kind of historical, childhood friends, fantasy, sex on a ship 👀, eventual proposal au, husband au | f, s

Trace the Colours of Our Skin @youmistme - drabble | 2.5k | artist au, blind date where they go naked and paint each other while interviewing/getting to know each other (like one of those Youtube, hurt/comfort fic | f

Under the Cloak @jungblue - one shot | 7.7k | Hogwarts AU, enemies to lovers (one-sided from OC), quidditch player!taehyung *gryffindor, tutor!reader, bet/dare themes (if he gets an A, agree on a date), use of the invisibility cloak for smutty purposes 😉 | s, slight f

Verboten @97erstan - one shot | 3.6k | cop!taehyung, best friend's boyfriend, twisted characters, themes of manipulation, plot twist | s

Your New Boss @dreamescapeswriting - one shot | 5k | CEO AU, Exes au, VP!Reader (but she doesn’t know about the new CEO which is really rare in reality but let’s assume Taehyung didn’t want the VPs to know about organization changes first), stuck in the elevator, kind of bad break up (accusations of cheating on her) | s, f

Waterloo @kinktae - one shot | 13k | slow burn, meet cute, strangers to lovers, artist!taehyung, art student!oc/reader, college au, vacation au, Paris setting, kind of tsundere-ish taehyung in the beginning, tourist au (oc toured him around so he can find inspiration) | f, a, implied s

(Un)welcomed Addition @joonscypher - one shot | 9k | neighbor au, one night stand, noona!reader, some form of bet/dare themes, college au, fuckboy!jungkook, OC/Reader already working, humor, really cute | f

A Night and a Year @dulce-jpm - one shot | 3.6k | briefly ex!yoongi x reader, arranged marriage au, past business scandal that led to cutting ties with Min family, Yoongi also broke up with her, arranged marriage with Jungkook to save “family” rep, ex-girlfriend!Sana, accused Jungkook of cheating, talks about this business/marriage | a, slight f (I still think these two deserve a drabble to see if they end up falling for each other 👀)

A Nugget of Comfort @madbutgloriouspond - drabble | 2.1k | established relationship, hurt/comfort fic, OC grieving over their pet hamster | f, a

Aftermath @whatifyoulivelikethat - one shot | 12.2k | exes au, stages of post-break up, accidental stalking from jungkook while OC is on a date, sub!jungkook | s

Anti-Romantic @chemicalpink - one shot | 4.7k | childhood friends, unrequited love (jk to oc), but his bestfriend *Sungho) ended up with oc, sungho actually cheating, oc revenge sex (with jungkook), bad decisions (like why OC why did you go through the wedding T_T) | s

Azaleas @randombtsprincessa - one shot | 9k | enemies to lovers (rivals), coworker au, lawyer au, hot intense lawyer!jungkook | f, s

The Bad Guy @ggukachuwu - drabble | 671 words | tattoo artist!jungkook x CEO!reader, bad boy!jungkook, secret identity (though we never know his work or why he is the bad guy) | a

Bittersweet @citrustan - one shot | 2.8k | ex-fwb, unrequited (oc to jungkook), falling out (oc didn’t know jk started to have serious relationship w someone else) | a

Castaway @hamsterclaw - one shot | 8.3k | enemies to lovers in the beginning, stranded au, beach au, survival au (plane crashed on a deserted island), strangers to lovers, humor, super cute ending | s, mild a, f

CEO Junior @mooniyooni - drabble | >3k | humor, strangers, son of CEO!Jungkook, office au, meet cute, music/artist but got stuck in office work, boss-employee | f

Comfortable, Bare, and Hungry @jinkookspencil - drabble | 2.6k | established relationship, boyfriend au, hurt/comfort fic, they ate pizza while naked | f, suggestive s

Denial = Desperation @adonis-koo - drabble | 3k | drabble from the series Wicked where Jungkook is just fantasizing about OC, series tags/genres ➡️arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, historical, royalty au | s

Drive @sunshinejoon - drabble | >1k | FWBs who are pining for each other, idiots to lovers, angsty beginning | a, f

Duty Before Love + Part 2 @blue-jade - two shot [2/2] | 10.4k | royalty au, agreed infidelity (jungkook’s wife chose OC/reader to be the child bearer), pregnancy au, historical, forbidden/star-crossed (royalty x servant!reader), unrequited love | a, s, f

Echoes of Love @moonlightchildz - one shot | 2.5k | exes au, break up au, jungkook broke up with OC and we don’t know why T_T, feat. best friend!taehyung | a, s, f

Exposed @getitinbusan - drabble | 2.1k | photographer!reader, dispatch photoshoot, idol!jungkook, tattooed!jungkook, pwp and really filthy | s

The Hardest Part @kimnjss - one shot | 2.5k | bestfriend au, unrequited (for OC), jungkook is getting married, extra angsty, something I probably read 3x now T_T | a

Heat Rises @dreamyjoons - drabble | 1.1k | boyfriend au, established relationship, pwp, hair pull + shower sex, that curly Jungkook from 5th Muster | s

Kinktober 2022: October 1 corruption kink with jeon jeongguk @seokgism - drabble | 3k | corruption kink, virgin!jungkook, experienced!oc, happens during the family dinner lol | s, pwp

Late Night Assignment @writeformesinpie - one shot | 2.7k | CEO!Jungkook, boss-employee, office au, OC/Reader has a date and Jungkook couldn’t function a bit at the thought lol, very funny banter and JK with wild exaggerated imagines about OC and her date, humor | s

Like Stars in a Constellation @taegills - one shot | 20.9k | sci-fi, star-crossed love, time travel au of sorts only they are meeting in reverse (one timeline is forward while the other is backward), strangers to lovers at one point, established relationship at one point, kind of bittersweet | a, f, s (implied)

The Love Bug @jungkxook - one shot | 20.6k | neighbor au, childhood friends (more on acquaintance), college, secret identity (duh, he’s spiderman), adaptation: spiderman au, superpower/superhero au, spiderman!jungkook | f, s

Lover Boy @ughseoks - drabble | <1k | humor, heartwarming, established relationship, lots of dick jokes lol, boyfriend!jungkook x oc in a romantic bath together (tub scenario) | f

Nanny @jjungkookislife - drabble | 700+ words | nanny!reader, single dad!jungkook, pwp| implied s

On Camera @agustdiv1ne - one shot | 3.1k | established relationship, boyfriend!jungkook, gamer au, youtuber!jungkook, pwp about jungkook recording their smutty moments | s

Ours @v-hope - drabble | 2.3k | best friend au, also childhood friends, now roommates in college, tooth-rotting fluff, domestic vibes, living with your best friend turned longing for exclusivity (just read my reaction I poured my entire giddy heart into it) | f

Pardon the Interruption @strawbkoo - one shot | 4.4k | established relationship, coworker seoyeon keeps interrupting their sexy time/moments, pwp | s

Perfect Coincidence @smilingleoo - one shot | 4.7k | DJ!reader, football team captain!jungkook, popular jungkook who was having an affair with the Math Teacher (uhm police alert 👀), party au (they did it on Hoseok’s couch), Hoseok is OC/Reader’s best friend and it’s his party | s, pwp

Picture Perfect @upinthestarsx3 - one shot | 879 words | best friend au, photographer!jungkook, needs to take photos of her nude for a magazine but turned smutty | s, pwp

Risk it All @httpjeon - series [5/5] | 14.1k | hybrid au, wolf!jungkook, I included this in the werewolf fic rec list though he’s not really a werewolf lol (he doesn’t shift), alpha!jungkook, a/b/o dynamics, predator-prey dynamics in this au, OC got thrown in a warehouse filled with predators and there’s also jungkook | f, a, s

Save You @mimikookie - drabble | 4k | supernatural, fantasy, post-apocalyptic, a bit of action, star-crossed vibes, archangel!jungkook x human!reader, it’s just intense and feels like some epic scene, war? (the angels were fighting and some creatures attacking humans), badass OC | a, f

SPF 50 @gimmeyoon - one shot | 10.6k | coworker au, strangers to friends to lovers, summer au, lifeguard!jungkook, slow burn, kind of bittersweet (because summer love stories usually are) | a, f, s

Strangers to Lovers @kissmetae - one shot | 3.2k | uhm strangers to lovers, gym crush!jungkook, gym setting, role playing | s, f

Symmetry @adriftmoonchild - one shot | 10k | enemies to lovers, fwb au, hogwarts au, mutual pining, secret relationship, rich!OC/reader, magic, kind of forbidden relationship (pure blood!oc x half-blood jungkook) and OC arranged to marry someone else | s, a, f

Vampire’s Kiss @immabiteyou - one shot | 4k | bartender!reader, bar au, vampire!jungkook, jk in all black | s

When We Were Sixteen @seokjiniwithluv - one shot | 10.3k | moments with jungkook told per year, best friend au, parts namjoon x reader & jungkook x hana, a bit taehyung x reader, high school to college to working, unrequited, falling out of some sort,jungkook leaving the country and friends jimin/taehyung checking on OC, angst with happy ending for OC | a, f

posted: 2022 Nov 5

link to other reading lists

other fic rec lists (by theme)

feel free to message me about fics! (leads to @ggukkiereads 🌷)

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a-butterfly1 · 11 months

Text

==✦NINJAGO AU MASTERPOST✦==

This is an AU I've been working on, I will actually work on it on writting ( on AO3 ) instead of making a comic/manga because I tend to procastinate when it comes to drawing panels ( if you have been keeping up with other pojects of mine you would know this), hopefully I will keep this updated.

==❤︎CHARACTER INFORMATION❤︎==

Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon

Age- 1000+ (immortal) Height: 5'8 (1,73m)

Lloyd has lived many years, of course, now he's immortal, he doesn't have much of a choice but to continue living on. He was many things throughout his life: a bratty child, a son, a master, a hero and now he's nothing more than a myth, while still a part of ninjago history many actually question if he ever really existed or not. He ostracized himself from society for a reason, after all,- it's painfull to make relationships when they are so short lived. He is considered a god by many, but he denies that being the case, maybe the embodiment of the balance between good and evil but he wont try to call himself anything more. Lloyd now lives with the spirits of his family with the occasional visits from Morro and Garmadon, his father.

==꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒦︶︶꒷꒦==

Jay Walker

Age- 1000+ (spirit) Died at 115 Height: 5'10 (1,78m) Status: Nya's husband

He was a man of the spotlight, he shined brithly- TV shows, TheyTube channels, he was knowed worldwide. Not that he minds the retirement, he lived his life; he had two beautiful twins with the love of his life, Nya. He died happy, even if he was the last one to die, 3 years after Nya had passed. His last years were spent with Lloyd. In his many years in the Ninja team, he's come to realise he doesn't exactly have the same type of strengh like the others so he created a different weapon one that creates iron alloy strings, that resemble spider webs. He also practiced racing with his wife in his free time and created all kinds of machines and weapons which ranged from house equipment to ninja tech, like mechs, weapons and transport.

==꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒦︶︶꒷꒦==

Kai Smith

Age- 1000+ (spirit) Died at 95 Height: 6'2 (1,88m) Status: Skylor's husband and Nya's bio brother

Kai was a little bit of an influencer in his younger years, but as the years went by he settled more into being a family man with his wife Skylor and his little girl. How did he become a spirit? Well it was his idea; well his plan was to become immortal like Lloyd but he was intersected by Morro, so he opted for the second best option: giving his powers to Lloyd, so even if he was dead he would be with Lloyd through his power; what wasn't part of the plan was he actually becoming part of Lloyd as a spirit, not that he is complaining, he got what he wanted in the end; and since he was the one that piched the idea to the ninja, he just involved them all into the mad plan- one that Lloyd was unaware of. He trully is a mad man, no one, and I mean, no ONE, puts themselves between him and his family, the last person who did so, is no longer amoung us, the last thing they saw was Kai becoming a demonic ball of flames.

==꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒦︶︶꒷꒦==

Nya Smith Walker

Age- 1000+ (spirit) Died at 112 Height: 6'0 (1,83m) Status: Jay's wife and Kai's bio sister

Nya, famous racer, only had to step down from the hobbie/carrer when she got into a small accident, while she wasn't gravelly wounded that was enough for her to be proibited from competitive racing. From that day on she still raced but became more of an idol than a racer per say. She ended up working on engineer projects, solo or with Jay, mostly out of boredom. Now, since she is dead, she has more free time than ever, and uses it to learn and explore every digital corner of the internet, catching a few criminals in the way. Many say she is mystical and her strengh is as crushing as the waves in a storm can be, yet calm and relaxing as the days in the beach, others, like the Ninja themselves just see her as they're beloved sister.

==꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒦︶︶꒷꒦==

Cole Brookestone

Age- 1000+ (spirit) Died at 87 Height: 6'8 (2,03m) Status: Vania's husband

Cole, King of the Kingdom of Shintaro, Husband of Queen Vania, father of the prince of Shintaro, and our beloved cake lover, sadlly passed away early, well earlier than his siblings at least, the unknowed illness that had taken the life of his mother had decided to claim another. Cole fell gravelly ill, bedridden in his late stages of life. Bedridden in the castle, he invited Lloyd over for most possibly a final goodbye, although he didn't think that Lloyd would stay around the whole time it wasn't completly unexpected, right there he was the first one to execute Kai's plan, and the first to discover the side effects of the plan; from then on he was part of Lloyd and made sure to let the others know of the end result.

==꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶꒦꒦︶︶꒷꒦==

Zane Julien

Age- 1000+ (nindroid) Height: 7'0 (2,13m) Status: P.I.X.A.L's husband

Caretaker of the rest of the Ninja team and their children, especially since those little kids sure liked uncle Lloyd a whole lot and would visit constently. He stayed with Lloyd in the monastery alongside P.I.X.A.L and Morro (who visits soo much he pretty much lives there, has a room and everything). Him and Lloyd share house chores, and Zane is in charge of looking at news around ninjago, to ensure it's safety, as well as helping in some researches since Lloyd is only one person and can only intake soo much information at a time. He is the only one that hasn't partaken in Kai's plan, since there is literally no reason to, Zane obviously doesn't die of old age, one may claim that he could possible get rusty and need repairs at some point but Lloyd and P.I.X.A.L are always around is any issue is to come.

==✿ADDITIONAL INFORMATION✿==

The Ninja team, many years after most of the team's death, has move the location of the monestary far away from the main ninjago island, and instead now lives in a far away island that Lloyd created west of Ninjago city, around the middle of Ninjago and the dark island (thats has been sealed away by Lloyd). The reason for that change is because of something rather strange, it's not just to ensure Lloyd's ever soo wished isolation but also because a merchant had attented to buy the place, with the intention of turning the monestary into a tourist attraction. Lloyd got a bit peeved and decided to pick up the mountain where the monestary was on top of and relocated it;

The only reason the Jay was living with Lloyd in his last moments, was because he genuenly belived he would miss the mark to execute Kai's plan, because he belives himself to be quite clumsy and distracted; either way he didn't miss it and now is with the rest of the team (which is a way to say that he can now torment the Ninja forever);

Lloyd has a cute nickname for all the Ninja's kids, and spoiled them to no end (he is the fun uncle who takes everyone to Disneyland), he calls Kai's daugther "munchkadee", Jay and Nya's twins has "Starlight" and "Moonlight" for the girl and boy respectively, and Cole's son is "Duckling";

the age diference of the Ninja are, from youngest to oldest: Lloyd - Nya - Jay - Kai - Cole - Zane ( to say, with maybe the idea of the 1 season, Lloyd (8->15) - Nya (15) - Jay (16) - Kai (17) - Cole (18) - Zane (30-40? he is old);

(conceivable for change) As of right now, Lloyd's power is one that could rival gods, the source of said power is something OP is still considering but the possible main reason might be related to "source dragons", has to why the other Ninja's had powers even after having kids is related to Lloyd giving them an artifact that has their specific element embodied into them (the artifacts are not phisical and can only be visualised when the Ninja have already passed, the artifact will most likely have the form of a card); (the reason of this possible change is the development of the plot of "Dragons Rising").

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ghostsvacuumcleaner · 10 months

Text

Metamorphose | 2k

my masterlist | ao3 ✦ Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader ✦ Summary: You and Simon deal with the pain of losing a baby. ✦ TW and general warnings: established relationship, angst, fluff, sensitive content (abortion), depression and eating disorder mentions, it's painful but he comforts you

A/N: Hi everyone! Since I'm working hard on some requests I've received and in the next chapter of Shades of Red, I decided to release this kinda old drabble of mine here. I'm not too satisfied with how it ended up but enoughly to post, so enjoy <3

I'd also like to mention that I have a taglist for my longfic Shades of Red but not one for my general writing and drabbles so I'll make a post for it, but till then, if anyone's interested in being tagged in my general posts and drabbles, please let me know <3

The sky is colored in blue, pink and purple.

Mostly blue.

You stare outside of the window while it changes, a golden yellow sun by the morning that rises; it spent too much time burning bright in the also bright blue sky. You counted the hours till it started descending. Now, the sun was nothing more than a little line by the horizon, and the sky was fading into cold colors, fading into the cold night.

You feel hungry, but it felt wrong to eat knowing you’d be sick of your stomach the second food hits it. You’re not in town anymore, Simon decided it would be better if the two of you took some time out in the country, where it was safe and you’d have time and space to do the things you loved. Running with your dog, swimming in the lake, breathing the fresh air. Truth is, you don’t feel like doing anything. Your legs are too tired, you’re sleepy, you’re tired. You’re very tired.

You heard him on the phone earlier. His voice was hoarse and low, he argued you wouldn’t want to receive visits. You could tell whoever it was - was insisting, pushing him too hard into allowing them to visit you. He blatantly denied, and you could feel his mood changing in a bit of seconds, his patience running low and the moment he turned off and let out a huge snort; and it had been perhaps two hours since that happened.

You let out a tired sigh, your empty sad eyes stare down at a small sign of movement under the window you were staring at. A little cocoon, seeming to be still inhabited, was hanging from a little line in there. You knew it was supposed to keep hanging till the moment that little caterpillar metamorphosed into a butterfly, and broke the shell, flying out freely. But for some reason you can’t understand - as well as many things in nature, this one cocoon is about to fall.

Your shaky hands reach out for it and before it hit the ground, you carefully pull it and it detaches without a second guess. You take a small look around the room and grab a small empty cup where the water you were supposed to have drunk evaporated, and place the small thing inside of it.

“There you go.” You mutter, the first time you hear your own voice in days, maybe weeks.

Some things aren’t supposed to happen. And you’re not supposed to die without being conceived the chance of living, even if only for a day.

You reach for Simon downstairs, minutes later. Looking pale for the lack of food you’ve been putting yourself through, tired for even standing, collateral effects of the strong medication you’re taking for the sake of your life.

“Baby.” You mutter, and he turns instantly from the alluring stare he was giving the fireplace. Your man’s sitting in a cozy armchair, drinking tea - cold at this point - and dissociating just like yourself. You blame yourself for a second: how can you put him through so much? Isn’t he suffering as much as you, why are you isolating him?

“Yes, my love?” He quickly responds, like he craves for hearing more of you. “Another nightmare?” he asks, standing to come closer to you.

You shook your head. “No… I found this.” you show the cup between your hands; Simon doesn’t seem to get it at first glance. “A butterfly. It’ll come out anytime, the cocoon is moving.” you state.

“Oh.” He raises an eyebrow, and sighs a little. “What a cute thing… Should we put it in the garden?” He asks, so much calm in his voice you feel yourself a little lighter.

“I want to see it.” You state. “The butterfly, I don’t know what type it will be, I’m curious.”

Simon looks at you like love would, if love was a person. He’s as tired as you, you can tell. Maybe his legs work a bit more than yours and his hands have the capacity of doing the hard work still, but his mind is as empty as yours.

“Of course.” He nods, and reaches for his own coat, placing it around your shoulders. You feel warm and cozy to the smell of him. “We can watch, come on.” he suggests, and grabs onto your hand.

His squeeze is light and calm, and your body follows him instinctively, not thinking about anything but the comfort you crave right now.

For the past few days, the only thing you could think of was the void in your belly. The void you haven’t felt in months; when you told him you were pregnant, Simon stared at you in complete despair and horror for at least ten excruciating silent minutes. You weren’t used to the idea as well, you’d have to interrupt your current work, you’d have to dedicate yourself to learn the slightest about being a mother.

It is a lie that every woman is born knowing how to hold a baby. When the two of you would visit some of your friends and their children, you’d try to picture yourself as holding your own baby instead of holding theirs. You couldn’t. They’d tell you that oh, god, don’t hold him like this, while laughing. But for you that was a sinful despairing moment.

Simon knew better than you, as a matter of fact. He held babies correctly, unintentionally - but very correctly.

You didn’t know if you were supposed to feel envious of his natural ability or proud of having this man as a daddy to your baby.

You learnt to love the little thing growing in your belly. He did, too. He would often bring gifts to you - keeping track with your cravings, and also buying things for the baby. Baby’s little room would be full soon enough. This little creature who wasn’t even born yet was everywhere around your house. The worries about conciliating Simon’s work with your pregnancy were starting to catch the two of you off guard, and soon as he asked for a license to take care of his pregnant wife, that day. That night. So much pain, so much blood. He wasn’t a small lifeless fetus anymore, it was a whole baby. It was a girl. She had a name.

Some things aren’t supposed to happen.

“Your parents want to visit.” He mutters, the two of you sitting in the swinging chairs by the garden, surrounded by dozens of different kinds of flowers. The weather is fairly cold, but you don’t feel it with his coat around yourself. “Told them you wouldn’t want to.

“I don’t.” You agree. “Tell them I need time.”

“I did.” He fixes the coat you have around yourself, and glares into you as the sky fades into deeper tones of dark blue. “I was a little less polite than that, but I did.”

“If you weren’t, they wouldn’t listen.” You argue, looking at him now, too. Your eyes fall deep into the void of his own.

For the first time in those two painful weeks, you can feel his pain flowing through his damaged soul. Like yours.

“I know. Terribly stubborn blood you have, dear.” he mutters, moving your hair off your face. “Did you manage to eat something today?”

“No. I’m sorry.” You mutter, your voice failing for the first time.

“Don’t do this to me.” His voice comes out pained like yours. He closes his eyes, and his jaw clenches in sadness when he sees the tears start gleaming through your eyes. “Don’t apologize. Don’t cry…” he asks in an almost begging voice.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, love, this is all my fault, it’s-” you catch your breath in your throat and suddenly, you’re falling apart. Days of nothing, weeks of not feeling anything but pain in your chest, despair, panic, and now you’re falling apart in front of him. Your tears stream down your face like overflowing rivers. “It’s my fault.” You say, grabbing handfuls of your hair and tugging your face on your knees.

Simon feels his own eyes get drenched as he can’t hold his own rivers by seeing you like this. He kneels down to the ground in front of you, pulling your hands from your hair, carefully stopping you from hurting yourself; feels excruciating to him to be able to do nothing.

“It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” He mutters, and you feel your body moving up. He holds you like you’re lightweight and takes his seat where you were sat at, now, holding you like a baby against his lap. You tuck your face on his chest now, the tears wetting his shirt, your painful voice coming out in low groans of pain, a painful cry of a mother who lost her children. The sad dead eyes of a father who watched this happening and couldn’t do nothing about it. The grief of parents, who didn’t have the chance of raising their children.

“Why? It hurts so much, so much.” You say beneath your cry, your eyes drenched, your face red from all of the crying. His hand is caressing the back of your head as he silently cries.

“I know. I know it hurts.” his voice is almost a blow of the wind, a whisper. “I can’t possibly know how it feels for your, my darling, but it feels bloody excruciating to me, everyday. I miss her all of the time.” He admits, his voice like the one of a kid who just lost its parents. “I miss talking to her, feeling her kick in. I miss her.”

For the past few days, the two of you seemed to be speaking in foreign languages.

Couldn’t understand each other. Couldn’t comprehend. He was in pain, so were you. None of you could see each other, understand each other. The two of you needed space. The fights, the screaming, his complaints about your refusal to get help and your anger for not feeling understood.

Right now, you feel understood.

Who could understand a grieving mother more, than the kid’s grieving father?

You miss moments that didn’t exist. That didn’t even happen.

You shouldn’t have died without even getting the chance of living. Even if for a day.

“I’d give anything to have a day with her. A fucking day, just one.” You mutter in admission, as you hug in his arms and feel his warmth start to make you calmer by the second. Simon closes his eyes in acknowledgement.

“Me too, darling. And I don’t know what can we possibly do so this hurts any less, but I’m pretty sure we can make it easier if we’re together in this.” He affirms, his hand reaching for your face and washing away your tears. You look at his eyes for the very first time in weeks now. “We face it together.”

The sky is painted in dark blue now as night approaches and the cold finally starts rising completely. You feel it hitting your skin, as Simon has you in his arms and you hum a low lullaby to the air. He runs his hand across your belly like he somehow tries to heal you from the void you’ve been feeling.

If she feels empty, then I’ll fill her with my own love.

You close your eyes and even though in this terribly uncomfortable position, you feel warm, and you feel cared. You rest. You fall asleep in a matter of seconds

None of you had awakened in time to see the cocoon hatch and the butterfly fly out. But for the past months, for the past years - when you were facing the task of emptying your baby’s room along with Simon, or when you were working - and even in other times, when you’d catch yourself thinking about her, you’d see a blue butterfly flying around you.

Simon was too skeptical to believe, but even so, he’d always catch every butterfly he’d see, and bring it to you. “Look, who’s coming to visit!”

#simon ghost x reader #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #cod fic #simon riley fluff

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theyoungeragrippina · 5 months

Text

✨ 15 gentlebeard fic recs ✨

i have spent the last month trawling the pages of ao3 for you, dear reader, to find the best ofmd fics. all the works on this list:

are longer-form (generally 40k+)

have no steddyhands (simply not my thing)

are generally, all around brilliant (well-written, had me kicking my feet and giggling, laughing, or crying)

are complete!

part 2 and part 3

A Heart Unsated by roughwinds

48k, explicit

"Stede Bonnet has just moved into Orange Crescent. There’s a house on the corner, opposite Stede’s own, with a garden full of flowers and a gleaming motorbike on the driveway. He’s forgotten to buy sugar.

Edward Teach has his morning disturbed by his new neighbour. Enamoured at first sight, he invites Stede round for a chat, and then another, and then another.

This is the story of them."

man i normally avoid fics with lots of alma and louis in them because its just not for me, but literally every second of the family bonding in this was so wholesome i was forced to change my entire mind.

all you left me was a pearl by @sightofsea

88k, mature

"1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Stede Bonnet sets about wooing the love of his life through any means necessary.

Things do not go as planned."

every day i wish for a precise memory erasing potion to be invented so i can read this again for the first time. i would devour like 2000k more words of this if it was offered to me. brilliant.

forgive & forget by @fool-for-luv

44k, mature

"It hits him then, like a wave breaking on sand, loud as thunder when it crashes, then trickling away into little rivulets flowing back home, murmuring one word over and over and over. Ed.

The problem is, Stede doesn’t recall ever having met anyone named Ed."

so sweet and wonderful, and i wish there was more.

#gentlebeard is trending! by regional_catastrophe

41k, teen

"In which Stede accidentally convinces the pirating world that Gentlebeard (or Blackbonnet or Stedward; there's a poll) is canon, reunites his crew, and gets his boyfriend back."

hilarious & silly & great, but also the most compelling notes of any fic i've ever read. a proper learning experience.

if music be the food of love (then darling, you're a feast) by @fool-for-luv

107k, unrated

"“Hey, so, those two, right, they get together in the end?” Ed asks.

“I would protest spoiling it, but I think it's rather obvious, isn't it?” Stede says. His nose wrinkles as he smiles. “The tension is certainly there from the beginning. It just takes them a while to get there.”

“Good. Would have been a shit story otherwise.""

i love sassy stede and i love ed who is a grump and i love that they share one single braincell at any given time.

If You Were Mine to Keep by @mysterybees

162k, explicit

"Caught between the gallows and the end of an English sword, Ed accepts the Act of Grace: marry into the aristocracy, leave the English ships alone, and live to sail another day. But who in their right mind would ever agree to marry the mad devil pirate Blackbeard?"

Worth every second of tiredness I felt after pulling an all nighter to finish reading.

It's Only Right by hexuponye

53k, explicit

"A modern AU based on Imagine Me & You, in which Edward is a florist who does the flowers for Stede's wedding."

mary gets to be a little silly sometimes too as a treat.

pliocene by unfortunatelyobsessed

75k, mature

""man, it's just ocean for miles.” Ed motions out to the waves, where there is no sign of any sort of ship, their small dinghy pulled far up on the sand. “I told you when the clouds look like seagulls you take fuckin' cover. Goddamn ocean mutinied me.”"

william golding wishes he did something this brilliant and significant when he wrote Lord of the Flies. the best deserted island story.

quite a career shift by @stedesparasol

157k, explicit

"Stede's been posting book reviews on Youtube for two months now. It's taken him that long to finally get a comment, and the person it comes from is rather unexpected."

rip stede you would've LOVED booktube. furious i can never really watch his content.

Semaphore by komodobits

124k, explicit

"Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try."

so good that i was properly and truly laughing and gasping and 'oh no-ing' out loud while i read it.

Such Joie de Vivre by @louciferish

94k, explicit

"Professional thief Edward Teach is tired of hole in the wall apartments, shitty pub food, and skipping town every few months to keep the cops off their tail. He’s well past the age he meant to flee the country and retire, and all he needs is One Last Job to set him up for life. When he hears that some rich bastard outside of town has just the sort of treasure he’d trade his good knee for, Ed sets out in disguise to get the lay of the land."

i (so so foolishly) avoided reading this for a while because i simply didn't think i was one for nanny aus. i was so, terribly wrong. don't make the same mistakes i did. showstopping. incredible stuff.

The Chains of Flowers are Fragile Things by @grandmastattoo

62k, explicit

"Stede can't see the shop he's inherited from his late father as anything other than a burden, another insult added to a life that's going nowhere fast. Then he meets the charismatic man who owns the tattoo studio next door, and Stede finds himself forced to consider the idea of home."

maybe i love tattoo shop owner ed fics, sue me. i love this stede and i love his embarrassing mistake tattoo.

The Love Experiment by karawrites

65k, mature

a married at first sight (aus) au. i didn't know i needed it until i read it.

Water/line by @the-gentleman-mermaid

60k, teen

"During a raid on a smuggler ship, Ed finds a merman named Stede locked in the hold."

So good that I would actually pay the author real person money to do a similar story but where Ed is the mermaid.

Where the Daylight Begins by @xoxoemynn

116k words, explicit

"Modern day AU slow burn featuring a pining Ed, a clueless Stede, found family, roughly a million animals, and a very magical house."

This one sort of gave me House on the Cerulean Sea vibes; it was so much fun and genuinely necessitates a proper use of the word whimsical.

#i will add more as i keep reading!!#pls send me recs too i have brainrot so all the media i consume has to be about pirates rn #hopefully there is at least one thing in here you haven't read before!#thanks for listening #if your fic is on this list know that i love you #our flag means death #ofmd #gentlebeard #gentlebeard fic recs #gentlebeard fanfic #blackbonnet #blackbonnet fic recs #blackbonnet fanfic

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desert-fern · 1 year

Text

A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 2 - Goddamn Pilots

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*Picture is from Pinterest, not mine*

A/N: I was not expecting this to be as popular as it apparently is! Welcome back to AGAD and I hope you enjoy!

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: swearing (this one is consistent throughout) and I think that’s it!

Word Count: 2.0k

Read on Wattpad or AO3

Masterlist >> Part 1 >> Part 3

===

Days after their first meeting, Jake still had the Navy Seal roaming through his mind. What was her name? What did she really think of him? Would she go out with him if he asked? Did anyone else on his team meet her and have any of this information? He was deep in thought, pondering these questions, and yet he hadn’t tried to seek her out. Maybe it was fear keeping him from engaging, or maybe it was because she had revealed herself to be far more dangerous than expected and he was both afraid, not that he’d admit it, and turned on by the way she carried herself.

Which brought him to now. “Jake, come on man. Did you hear a word I just said?” Fanboy grumbled, knocking his elbow and jarring the blond from his thoughts.

“Hate to break it to you, Micks, but no,” he replied, shaking the last of his daydreaming off to tune into the conversation. “Repeat it?”

Fanboy rolled his eyes, slumping further into the rec room couch before answering. “I said, you hear that Nix and Bob met a Seal on base a few days ago? Apparently she stopped and chatted with them for a bit.”

“Says who?” Jake’s head snapped over to Phoenix, who just shook her head at him.

“She swore me to secrecy,” the woman said with a shrug. “Girl code and the like.”

Hangman let out a frustrated groan at her words. “Seriously? Bob, you a part of girl code now too?”

Bob curled in on himself, not liking the sudden attention of the room on him. “I’m staying out of this,” he mumbled.

“Ah ah ah. Nope, you don’t get to hide information from me.”

“Actually he does.” From the doorway of the rec room, a feminine voice spoke up. Its owner leaned against the doorframe, clad in the desert camouflage patterned uniform worn by the Seals. “My ears were burning, and well, I wasn’t liking what I was hearing.” Bear had been standing there for a good five minutes, listening in silently on the conversations held by the pilots. None had noticed her, despite more than half of them facing towards the doorway.

Phoenix and Bob both turned towards the voice, grins widening when they saw it to be Bear. “Hey, I was just about to come find you,” Phoenix said, holding up her phone.

“I know. But I was done first. Perk of being a sniper. It’s usually just one shot and done if all goes well,” Bear replied with a grin, having just glanced around the room at the various emotions on the faces of the pilots sitting before her. “So these are the Daggers then. Good to meet you.”

Coyote, who’s gaze was flicking between the woman in front of him and his best friend, was the first to speak up. “It’s good to meet you too. I’d introduce you to the team, but it sounds like you already know more about us than we’d like.”

“Got it in one, Coyote. Got it in one,” Bear replied with a teasing grin. She stepped into the room, noticing how everyone’s gaze snapped to her approaching form.

The mustached man who she knew to be Rooster was the next to speak. “So you know all about us, but we know nothing about you. How is that fair?”

Bear just smiled. “You’ll know what I allow you to know. My deployments are a tad more elaborate than yours, fly boy, so every detail is precious,” she replied, coming to perch on the arm of the chair Phoenix sat in.

“Do we get a name, or a callsign…?” prompted one of the pilots, which was then echoed by the group all nodding and verbalizing their agreement.

“Call me Bear,” she replied, giving in just a little bit.

“Bear…” Jake repeated to himself, but when he looked around the room, he was faced with the amused looks of his colleagues. “What?”

“Oh nothing,” Bear replied, her own grin teasing. “It’s just funny that you seem so happy with one tiny detail. Almost seems obsessive.”

Jake’s green eyes widened. “I’m not…it’s not like that!” he protested wildly. “It isn’t like that,” he repeated, making eye contact with Bear and watching her eyes twinkle in amusement.

“Oh I know,” she stated. “ It’s just funny to watch you pilots get all flustered. You all lose your composure so quickly, no offense intended. It’s just an observation.” A flurry of indignant squawks were sent up, making her chuckle. “You all just proved my point.” Glancing at Phoenix, Bear asked quietly “Half an hour then we head out?”

Sliding off the arm of the chair, Bear went to leave but Hangman’s voice called out after her. “Why Bear?”

“Why Hangman?” She prompted. “I made the same deal with Phoenix here, show me yours, I’ll show you mine.” She crossed her arms over her chest, intelligent eyes categorizing every micromovement the blond made.

“...I was really good at the game in basic training…” he admitted quietly, the words barely reaching her ears. The room had gone silent as the pilots tried to match up his story with who he was now, their faces contorted in confusion. “I went, it’s your turn now.”

Grinning wickedly, Bear shook her head. “I didn’t say when I’d tell you,” she hummed, shooting him a wink. “Not my fault you jumped the gun.”

The room exploded in shock, indignation, and laughter at her words, and over the noise, Jake yelled out “Jus’ wait, I’ll get it out of you eventually!”

“Is that a promise or a threat, fly boy? Cause don’t forget, us snipers are patient people,” she replied calmly. Deep in the recesses of her mind, Bear was imagining him storming after her and trying to draw the story from her, doing his best to pluck the story from her lips. The heat in his eyes molten as he would look down on her, making her squirm under the gaze. But she quickly shook herself free from the daydream, to watch Hangman get up from the couch and come to stand in front of her, blocking her view of the rest of the room.

“I’ll hold you to that, Teddy,” he said quietly, his voice low and near her ear. And when he pulled back, Jake couldn’t help the smirk that broke free as he caught the brief wide-eyed look she gave him. The one she schooled quickly into the mask she usually wore. He sat back down, and watched her wave and leave the rec room quickly.

A glance at his colleagues had him raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“What did you say to her?” Coyote asked suspiciously. “‘Cause I really don’t feel like wakin’ up to your body hanging from the shower head tomorrow.”

“Nothin’ important. Just that I can be far more patient than she thinks,” he said with a shrug.

Rooster burst out laughing at his words. “Bullshit. I watched you switch lines three times in the mess this morning because you thought the others were shorter. She’s got you beat by a mile.”

“That was a one time thing,” Jake grumbled. “I will beat her.”

“Not likely, Bagman. Not likely at all,” Phoenix spoke as she got up. “Well, I’m out. Bear and I have plans, so I’ll see you losers later.”

“What, are we not cool enough for you now?” Payback teased.

“Nope,” Phoenix replied, flipping them off as she left the room.

===

While the pilots teased Hangman about being impatient as hell, Bear had swiftly escaped to the locker room. She slipped inside and leaned back against the door, burying her face in her hands and letting out a groan. Like Jake, all Bear had been able to think about was the cocky man she’d met at the bar. But unlike him, she could keep her thoughts hidden and she already knew everything about him, much to his chagrin. His look of confusion then frustration when she’d refused to tell him about her made her smile as she replayed it in her mind.

A few deep breaths later, Bear pushed off the door and began to grab her things to shower off the grime from the day’s training. Her mind raced as she stood under the spray, and she shook her head to dislodge all thoughts of the blond pilot she’d been messing with.

She wouldn’t think about Jake. Wouldn’t think about how close he’d stood, how she could feel the heat radiating off his body, the smell of jet fuel, sweat, and whatever cologne he’d put on that morning. A frustrated groan left her lips and she rested her head against the cool tile of the shower, willing her thoughts away.

It must have worked because ten minutes later, she was out and dressed in her civilian clothing of a plain black t-shirt and blue jeans, feet tucked into running shoes, with her uniform folded into her bag. She hummed as she waited for Phoenix to make an appearance, logging in to her naval email and checking for any new information about their deployment.

The door banged open, making her jump, standing up quickly to see Phoenix walk in, her hair halfway down from the regulation bun. “Sorry, didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“It’s all good,” Bear replied, sitting back down. “Just be happy that I didn’t have my weapon with me.”

Phoenix made a concerned face. “Would I really be in that much danger?”

“Depends on how emotionally scarring you find a gun being held to your forehead as you’re flat on your back,” the Seal replied almost too casually for the conversation. “But no, it would just be the threat, likely not any action.”

Gulping, Phoenix nodded. “Awesome, good to know. Don’t mess with Bear.” Running her hands through her hair, the brunette gestured to the showers before she said “I’ll be like ten.”

“Got it. I’m in no rush,” Bear replied, looking back down at her phone. “I do have to check in on something before we leave, I’ll meet you by your car?”

Over the running water, Phoenix called back “Sounds good. See you in a bit.”

Stepping quickly from the locker room, Bear made her way back down the hallway towards her CO’s office. On her way there, she ran headlong into someone as she rounded a corner. “Shit! I’m sorry, I should have been paying more attention.”

“No, it’s my fault,” a familiar baritone sounded from just above her. Glancing up, Bear made direct eye contact with the green eyes of Hangman. She barely managed to hide the stutter of her breath, as she found herself watching her reflection in his eyes. “I could have slowed down.”

Mentally shaking herself, Bear couldn’t stop a grin from crossing her face. “I wasn’t sure you pilots knew how to do that,” she teased.

A flash of humor appeared in his eyes, twinkling as he watched her. “I can go at whatever speed you need, Teddy.”

She bristled at the nickname. “Really? Teddy? How original.”

All she got in response was a smirk, before he straightened up and stepped back half a step. “Well,” she said, “I should really be going.”

“So should I.”

It was a few moments before either of them moved, but Bear quickly slipped past Jake and hurried down the hallway. Knocking once on the door of her CO’s office, a gruff “Enter” answered her, and she stepped into the room.

“You wanted to see me, Sir?”

“Shut the door, and take a seat,” was his response. Rear Admiral Will “Shark” Harris had been running Seal Team 3 for the better part of a decade, collecting commendations until some high up would hopefully promote him up and out of the position. “We have some new information.”

Bear cursed mentally. She grabbed her phone and typed out a quick message to Phoenix. “Just got called into a meeting. Meet me at the bar, I will get there when I can.”

Pulling up a chair, she sat down. “Of course, Sir.”

===

A/N: So much love to the readers of AGAD, and to my editors/cheerleaders @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s and @dakotakazansky, I wouldn’t be publishing this without you. Mwah 😘

Taglist: @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s @dakotakazansky @horseshoegirl @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @lavenderbradshaw @roosterforme @bobby-r2d2-floyd @twsssmlmaa @bradleybeachbabe @footprintsinthesxnd @fandomxpreferences @dempy @gizmodear @fighterpilothoe @chaoticassidy @eli2447 @javden @indigomaegrimm @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @djs8891 @rhirhikingston @sisterslytherinog @waywardhunter95 @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak @heli991113 @thegoddessc @sgt-barnesveins @allyxstebo @taytaylala12 @urmom-999

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leighsartworks216 · 6 months

Note

This request is actually inspired by my fic I'm writing and I wanted to see your interpretation of the scene.

Tav is the daughter of a well known pirate, basically the black beard of Baldur's Gate, but after an attack that lead to her father and alot of the crews death she roamed Baldur's Gate until the mindflayer thing happened.

Currently, she and everyone are at a tavern, celebrating another successful quest and honestly still being alive when she hears a familiar song and she sees four old crew members (family) she thought was gone. What is your interpretation of the scene, how would Astarion would react to the news, and seeing her reuinte with her family?

I did not expect this to turn out as long as it did lmao

Astarion x fem!Tav/Reader (can be read as gn)

Warnings: fear of abandonment, alcohol/drinking, swearing

Word Count: 2,123

Main Masterlist

Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

The tavern was lively and bustling on the evening you and your companions squeezed in, the sun beginning to paint the sky in dramatic colors as it sets. Almost instantly, your party's spirits are lifted - yours included.

Finding a table for 7 people is no easy feat, but you manage to snag one in the corner. Drinks were served around, jokes about the battle you’d just endured and old stories of lives before the Illithid threat fill the air with an easy camaraderie. It reminds you of your father's ship, of the crew that raised you. Thinking about them again left a bitter taste in your mouth. Astarion must have noticed the distant look in your eye. He reached under the table for your hand, interlacing your fingers easily, and trying to catch your eye.

You smile at him, but your eyes are still glazed over. “I’m just thinking about my family, is all,” you tell him, as though it’s as mundane as thinking of what one needs to get from the market to make dinner. You’d told him of your father, his crew, the ship - and what happened to it. It’s been months, but it’s still too fresh. You still wake up in the dead of night from visions of colossal waves that pull your head under, and screams cut short with the slice of a cutlass. “This… reminds me of them.”

He offers a concerned smile, though it comes out as more of a grimace. “I’m flattered we remind you of drunken sailors,” he drawled sarcastically. It worked to get a laugh out of you, if nothing else.

“Drunken pirates,” you correct. He watches the smile slip, your eyes become distant once more, water pricking at the corners.

Astarion had a… complicated relationship with family. He couldn’t remember his parents, and the “family” Cazador provided were less-than-welcoming at best. As such, he never really knew how to comfort you in times like these. Not that he knew how to comfort anyone, really, but he wanted to try, at least.

“Gods,” you sigh, choked with emotion, “I miss those daft fools.” You lean your head against his shoulder. He maneuvers to wrap his arm around your middle, holding you close, and takes your hand again. “We used to celebrate like this,” you mumbled. His elven ears picked it up easily. “We’d drown the night in ale and groan about it in the morning. Played knife-throwing games as our visions start to spin and double. Sing songs at the top of our lungs, like screaming it would scare away any monster at sea.”

You sigh again. Though he can’t see your face, he can see when you use your free hand to wipe your eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be burdening you with this.”

“Darling,” he hums, squeezing your hand, “we are technically in this together. Your burdens are mine and all that. In any case, you’ve carried all of our burdens, even when you didn’t have to. I’m only returning the favor.”

“Thank you.” You lift your head from his shoulder to kiss his cheek. He grins, all too pleased with the simple affection you lavish on him. “Now, enough wallowing.” You clear your throat and grab your tankard. “This is a celebration. And I intend to be too drunk to walk before the night is out.”

He sighed dramatically, lifting his goblet of wine. “And I suppose I’ll be the one to carry you back to camp?”

You smirk up at him, a glint in your eye. Like this, he can imagine you as the pirate you are. Swashbuckling and taking down other ships, climbing up ropes to the top of the sails, peering out from the crow’s nest for any sign of adventure. Dry land did not suit you, he thought.

But then came the thoughts that always followed. If you did return to the sea, to your old life with a new crew, after these tadpoles are removed, he couldn’t follow. The only reason he’s safe from the sun and the burn of running water was because of the damned, wriggly things. He couldn’t follow you onto a ship to be locked away in confined cabins until night, or help if the waters chose to fold over the deck in great big waves, threatening to take down the vessel. He couldn’t have that life. Not with you.

Your head was thrown back, neck bobbing with each gulp of shitty ale. You did not see the pain on his features those thoughts brought him. He tossed back the last of his wine.

You stand and gather the empty mugs of your companions, bright-eyed and ready for round after round (Karlach only encourages this.), when something sounds across the tavern. It’s a rather large establishment, and the bustle of other patrons covers up everything. But it’s there. Loud and boisterous and-

You rush to step over the bench and find the source of the noise. Astarion frowns and chases after. He’s right on your tail as you push through drunkards with half-formed “Excuse me”s and “Coming through”s. As you get closer and closer, the sound becomes clearer. It’s not just noise - it’s singing. A cacophony of voices all singing together.

You squeeze past a barmaid, nearly knocking the drinks from her hands, but the apology is lost when you see a table full of drunken pirates. One starts to take a swig mid-song, when his eyes land on you. He’s on his feet - Is that a peg leg? - in an instant, dropping the tankard carelessly to the table.

“Tav?” he gasps. The rest fall silent, turning around to see what the man was gawking at. They thought he was imagining it, as he’d done time and again since the attack. They all leapt up and rushed forward when you were more than a figment of their alcohol-addled minds.

Astarion was pushed aside as a horde of pirates surrounded you, hugging you and ruffling your hair and all speaking hurriedly with worry and joy. He can’t ignore the pain in his chest, as though someone had driven a stake through his heart. You hugged each one, misty eyed. Questions fell ceaselessly from your lips as you asked how they survived, what happened, what they’d been doing all this time. And he knew. He knew without a shadow of a doubt. He could not hope to be more important than your family. He couldn’t be the one you chose - not when you’d recounted your friends with tales of the open ocean and your father’s crew for hours.

He quietly backed away. The others ask why you rushed off and what was happening when he returned to grab the bottle of wine. He wasn’t too sure what he said. He’d like to think it was some sort of “They found their family” said with a charming grin, and a simple, but believable, excuse to go back to camp not like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, but like a vampire with things that need doing back at camp. Alone. With a bottle of wine.

Your eyes are red and your smile is about to burst off your face when you drag your pirate family over to meet your companions. You’re bouncing on your feet with energy, introducing everyone and nearly crying again when the pirates embrace everyone like family. Your heart is soaring when you look around for Astarion, searching around the table, the bar, the crowd. And it starts falling when you don’t see him anywhere.

“Hey, have any of you seen Astarion?”

Gale groaned as he was released from a bone-crushing hug. He winced as he held his shoulder. “He said he was heading back to camp.”

Your heart crashed firmly against hard cement, leaving cracks in the foundation. “Back to- Why? Did he say why?”

“No,” Shadowheart answered this time, trying not to get caught admiring the intricate braid of another crewmate. “He just took the wine and ran.”

The warm environment suddenly felt cold and unwelcoming. Was he uncomfortable with your family? They were known to be rather callous and loud - maybe they’d scared him off? Was the idea of confronting their family just too stressful for him? Did it bring up unwanted memories? Why… Why did he run off?

You touch an older pirate’s arm, letting them know you’ll be right back. They smile and nod and pull you in for one last hug. It feels bittersweet. You dash off from the tavern back to camp.

When you arrive, he’s uncorking a second bottle of stolen alcohol, frowning and grumbling and pacing. He’s so deep in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice you’re there until you say his name. He frowns deeply at you. “Shouldn’t you be catching up with your family?” he asks, but it’s bitter and cold.

You frown. “I wanted you to meet them. Why’d you leave?”

He looks away, focusing instead on taking a long drink from the bottle. It’s had no time to air out; he almost grimaces at the flavor. He pretends to read the label. “It was getting a little crowded in there,” he dismisses.

“So you leave without saying anything?”

“Well,” he begins, drawn-out and sarcastic, creating a barrier between you and his emotions, “you were busy. I’d hate to get in the way.”

You huff. “Astarion, please, just tell me what’s wrong!”

“Nothing.” He scowls. He begins pacing again. “Nothing’s wrong! You’ve found your family again! I’m so happy for you.” He spits the word like it burns him to say it.

“Is that what this is about? My family?”

“No.”

“Then what is it?” you plead. “What’s wrong?”

“YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE!” He sighs at his outburst, glaring at the ground. His feet are locked to ground, refusing to move closer or further away - because he can’t decide which would be better. “Once this is over, once we figure out how to remove these tadpoles, you’re going to run back to the sea. To a ship, with your family. And I can’t follow.” He scowls at himself. He hates laying out his thoughts, his feelings. It feels too vulnerable. He feels exposed. “You won’t stay on land.”

You won’t stay with me.

A silent war wages on in your head and in your heart. You’re torn in two directions - forced to choose between the people who raised you, the last fragments of your father and his ship, or Astarion, your vampiric lover. It’s painful.

You step forward slowly, like he’s going to startle and run away like a frightened rabbit. He doesn’t move. And he doesn’t look at you. The bottle in his hand feels too heavy.

“I love my family,” you start. You can see in an instant as his walls come back up. His face, still upset and angry, becomes stoic and defensive. “And I love the sea.” You stop in front of him. “And I love you.”

He closes his eyes, prepared for the rejection.

“I… I had a whole life on the ocean.” Your fingers brush his hand. It twitches involuntarily, wishing to hold you, for just one last moment. When he doesn’t pull away, you tangle your fingers with his. “I want to see what a future on land would be like.”

He swallows. He opens his eyes, but he can’t look at you. He looks instead at your hand in his. “And when you decide a life on a ship is better than hiding in the shadows with me?”

You pull his hand to your lips, kissing his knuckles. He watches longingly.

“If I decide to sail again,” you accentuate your words with a kiss to the meat of his thumb, “I’ll come back. Over and over again. I’ll sail for a week and stay with you for a month. I’ll sail a month and stay with you a year. I love you, Astarion. And I will always choose you. And when we find a cure for vampirism, you can come with me.”

He huffs a laugh. “I’d be a poor excuse for a pirate.”

“You can scrub the deck.”

He finally meets your eyes with a playful scowl. It softens into something quiet and sad. “I don’t want to tear you from your family.”

You shake your head, stepping even closer. “You’re not, I promise. Now that I know they’re alive, I’ll be damned if I don’t keep in touch. But all they know is the sea. They have no reason to stay ashore - they’re heading out with a new captain next week.” You cup his cheek with your free hand. He sighs and leans into the touch. “I want to stay on land for a while longer.”

---

Tag List:

@satelliteapotheosis @hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @lynnloveslokiredacted @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @mheerdraws @kindadolly @bloopthebat @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @cherifrog

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sinswithpleasure · 15 days

Text

Callout Post

I do not like doing this, and this is not the type of post I like to put on my platform. What this is NOT is a witch-hunt post, and is NOT a reason for any of those who view this post to send any sort of hate or malicious asks about this, across both mine, Smite's (@fillinforlater), and @idyllicidols's shared viewerbase.

There's quite a few fics that aren't either mine or Smite's too. Looking at @ot9snumber1, who's got me blocked but I found their work in the list below anyway.

This is a callout post specifically for @f1ddl3st1cks. While you have removed the fic you've plagiarized from me (Night Time Play [ft. Sakura & Chaewon]), on AO3, I'm not going to stand by and let you take Smite's or others' works and claim it as your own as well. I am on AO3 a lot. I can, and will find any more plagiarised fics eventually. So, based on your likes, they contain three specific fics: 1. The Pull (Ning2 x Hyewon x etc) 2. Night-Time Play (Sakura & Chaewon) 3. When Life Gives You Bandmates, Make A Mess Out Of Them (Kazuha x Yunjin)

Funny enough, based on what is on your AO3 page of the same name, what shows up?

Now, I know you changed "The Pull" to Ning2 x Giselle, and not Ning2 x Hyewon, but I mean, what do I know, this photo really speaks for itself.

Before you start going "Oh my God! Smite posted it later than me! He plagiarized me!", here's the post dates: 1. Your plagiarized posting:

2. Smite's post:

We're not stupid. Also, that's not the only one too, so I guess we have to put a line in here to limit the length.

Now, on to the next fic, titled "The Slick", which you said you wrote as per the excerpt here:

Fic here:

Guess what I found—nice attempt to mask the plagiarism through the title change. You can't defeat Google's SEO though. Smite's fic is below, exact same words.

Dates are as shown here: 1. Your plagiarized fic:

2. Original by Smite:

We're not stupid, mate. Now, on to the Yunjin x Kazuha:

I'm sorry, we're not fucking idiots. Seriously.

On to the last fic I could find:

Really, mate? Really? It's all a Google search away.

#kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #call out post #sinswithupdates

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bergandysam · 1 year

Text

BTS Fic Recs / To Read

purely because i am trying to keep track of what i have read and want to read in the future lol.

‼️18+ minors DNI, if you choose to anyways, PLEASE be careful. try to heed our warnings, we have them for a reason‼️

key/guide at the bottom of the post :)

ive come to the realisation it is ALL smut.. my bad

i will also be making a part 2 as i can only tag 50 ppl per post

set me free chap 7 YG to read

on with the show RM to read

haunted house JHOPE to read

mine JK to read

our beloved summer JK to read

borathae kinktober to read

neon sign YG to read

until i found you JK to read

9 months to fall in love SJ to read

believe it JM to read

sticks and stones YG to read

diving chapter 15 JK to read

epitaph KT to read

you who never arrived YG to read

turn back time SJ to read

undone business JK to read

not even a mouse YG to read

sonic rain JHOPE to read

business proposal RM to read

fake love JK to read

AAOLAASOF chap 14 JK to read

on tilt RM to read

nonsense JM to read

room for rent to read

work hard play harder YG to read

under the blankets JK to read

sweet dreams JK to read

not my fault JK to read

all i want JK to read

recommend:

[not in any particular order] [if any users would like me to remove their post from this list please let me know and i will do so immediately!]

turbulence YG @/fallencairns (AO3)

soulmate!au, fluff, angst, series, 212.1k

blackout JK @jjungxkook

roommate!jungkook smut, angst, 3 part series 49.9k

as we were JK/YG @archivedkookie

ex husband!jungkook, smut, angst, series (ongoing), 105.6k

three tangerines YG @kithtaehyung

brothers bestfriend!au, SMUT, fluufff :), anggsst :(, series (ongoing) 151.5k

just practice JHOPE @/lamourche (AO3)

college!au, fluff, smut, one shot, 12.5k words

lilium YG @hijoonie

f2l, smut, angst, fluff(??), one shot, 11.9k

maybe i do KT @chateautae

arranged marriage!au, smut, angst, fluff, series, 409k

only yesterday YG @borathae

s2l, angst, fluff, smut, small town, series, 78.6k

lowkey JK @xpeachesncream

fake dating college! au, smut, fluff, angst

fmttp RM @trbld-writer

phone sex operator! au, smut, crack, one shot,3.3k

one time thing JM @personasintro

best friends boyfriend! au, smut, angst, series (ongoing)

making him jealous JM @parkmuse

roommate! au, F2L, smut, angst, one shot 9.2k

campus affairs JK @kooktrash

college!au, F2L, angst, smut, fluff, one shot, 11.9k

trip no further YG @matchstick6812

soulmate!au, smut, fluff, angst, series, 178k

castaways RM @rmnamjoons

smut, angst, fluff(?), one shot, 25.5k

one year my love JK @hayjeon

royal!au, S2L, fluff, lil smut, lil angst, 31k

dickless KT @monimonimoon

E2L, angst (infidelity), SMUT! one shot, 11.1k

happy birthday loser JK @jungk0oksthighs

Idiots2L, smut, one shot, 8k

party on you JHOPE @here2bbtstrash

idol!au, f2l, SMUT, lil fluff, one shot, 9.8k

man-eater hunting JK @httpjungkookcom

F2L(?), smut, angst, fluff (?), one shot, 46k

helping hands YG @euphoricfilter

coworkers2L, fluff!!!, smut, 13.3k

dating advice YG @taleasnewastime

S2L, angst, fluff, smut, series, 54k

what if i love you too much JK @taleasnewastime

single mum!au, S2L, fluff, angst, smut, one shot, 20.6k

practice JK @chryblossomjjk

FWB, smut, fluff, angst, one shot, 29k

cybersex YG @gimmethatagustd

brothers best friend!au, smut, fluff, one shot, 14.6k

mixtape YG @haliiimede

F2L/BBF!au, smut, angst, fluff?, mini series

look down on me like that YG @here2bbtstrash

E2L, smut! angst, series (ongoing), 79.3k

white lies JK @noteguk

smut, fluff, very little angst, one shot, 13.3k

stuttering RM @moonlightchildz

fluff!! smut! lil bit of angst, one shot

cherry muffins and lavender tea RM @roses-ruby

college!au, fluff! smut! very very little angst, one shot

trip KT @daechwitatamic

F2L, fluff, angst, the tiniest smut, one shot, 22k

a human touch KT @snackhobi

robot!tae, fluff, smut, mini series, 37.7k

sweet addiction JM @jiminmellow

husband!au, fluff, angst, smut, one shot, 6k

rule #5 JK @taestefully-in-luv

FWB/F2L, fluff, smut, 2 part series

intersect RM @shina913

E2L/coworkers2L, fluff, angst, smut, series, 70.3k

hammer it home RM @gukslut

smut, fluff, lil angst, one shot, 22.7k

stretch you out RM/JK @chateautae

S2F2L, smut, fluff, one shot, 24k

the lucky one JK @babystrcandy

sports!au E2L, fluff(?), angst! smut, series (ongoing) 48.1k

unexpected lovers YG @jjkeverlast

fake dating/S2L, smut, fluff, angst, 2 part series, 19.8k

new tricks KT @geniuslab

F2L, fluff! smut, one shot, 10.1k

only here to sin KT @gimmethatagustd

E2L, smut, angst, 39.8k

(right) hook line and sinker JK @blog-name-idk

non-idol au!, s2l, angst(? reader gets scared lol), fluff, smut, one shot, 12.3k

keep me warm JHOPE @ppersonna

brothers best friend!au, fluff (the tiniest bit) smut! one shot, 3.9k

the shape of your body JM @here2bbtstrash

college au!, s2l, lil smut, fluff <3, one shot, 24k

tangsuyuk love JK @full-of-jams

college!au, lil smut, lil angst, fluff, one shot, 11.5k

the damsel & her knight JK @jimilter

CEO!au, e2l, smut, miniseries (ongoing)

deep blue JM @purplewhalewrites

college!au, f2l, smut, fluff!! mostly smut but be wary as MC is self conscious and puts herself down a lot, one shot, 20.5k

hot boy bummer JK @jungkxook

FWB!au, smut, fluffy angst, one shot, 14.6k

all in JHOPE @dreamescapeswriting

masseuse!au, s2f2l, angsty smut, lil fluff, one shot 15.6k

stood up YG @parkdatjimin

CEO!Yoongi, s2l, mostly angst, lil smut, fluff, one shot, 26.7k

fall back in love JK @bukguhope

college!au, bff2l, SO MUCH FLUFF, the tiniest of angst, one shot, 17.6k

darkroom JK @yoon-kooks

college!au, vampire!au, s2l, smut 😏, one shot, 10.2k

if you have any recs for me 🤭🤭🤭 pls send them through 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

just in case people weren’t sure

RM = Namjoon

YG = Yoongi/Suga

JK = Jungkook

SJ = Seokjin

KT = Taehyung/V

JM = Jimin

JHOPE = Hoseok

FWB = Friends with Benefits

e2l = Enemies to Lovers

f2l = Friends to Lovers

s2l = Strangers to Lovers

s2f2l = Strangers to Friends to Lovers

BBF = Brothers Best Friend

smau = Social Media au

au = Alternate Universe

2K notes · View notes

lunarw0rks · 10 months

Text

Through The Ashes | Chapter Four

Summary: You've been given an offer to join the 141 Task Force. Upon taking it, you find yourself ensnared with the mysterious masked man who won't take his eyes off you.

Warning(s): brief mentions of sex (18+), swearing, blood, violence, injuries, Valeria being zesty towards reader

A/N: Giving y'all a long chapter as a thank you for the support on the previous parts<3 Also this isn't proofread lol | Word Count: 6k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ prev. chapter | next chapter // requests | ao3 | playlist

New Players In The Game

The briefing the next morning couldn’t have been more agonizing.

This wasn’t a situation of trying not to look at him. No, he had that covered for you. You hadn’t even glanced at that side of the table, and you weren’t planning to either.

“I’ve made contact with a counter-terrorism leader by the name of Alejandro Vargas. He’s gotten a closer look at El Sin Nombre than any of our leads have given us.” Price passes out intel files on this new player, taking a huff of his cigar. “Read the files, you know the drill. And pack light.”

As everyone began to clear the room and begin their duties for the day, you remained seated at the table, tightly clenching the file in your hands.

Maybe a change of scenery would be better for everyone, and it would get your team closer to snuffing out your latest threat. On the other hand, being stuck on a plane with Ghost made you want to jump off a cliff.

You remained seated for a few moments before you finally got up and headed for your dorm.

You gave your bed a passing glance, instantly being reminded of what happened the previous night. After you cleaned yourself up, you couldn’t bring yourself to lay on it. You found it preferable to strain your neck sleeping on the sofa. Although today, the pinch in your neck was making you regret that decision.

You grabbed your duffel bag and packed a few extra uniforms, a jacket, and your toiletries. You zipped it up and set it on the sofa, having one less task to do today.

“I’ll pay you to pack mine like that. I’ve never been good at packing.” Soap’s voice brought you to his attention.

“I’ll keep that in mind, then.” You chuckled awkwardly, trying to hide the things weighing on your mind. That was one plus of Soap being sort of clueless about things like that.

“Who are you going to sit next to? Gaz already has dibs on the seat by Price.” Soap says as if to hint something.

He was lucky you weren’t even looking Ghost in the eye right now, so this could work out well for you. “I’ll sit next to you.” He looked like a child whose parents just said yes to ice cream. If only he knew why you were so eager.

—

You were the last to board the plane, having been running a little late that morning. You scanned all the occupied seats and finally spotted Soap.

“Might be cramped, this was the only spot left.” He stated, giving an innocent stare. You smiled as you approached closer to him, but it dropped just as quickly when you saw the seating situation.

Soap on the outside seat, and Ghost sitting in the window seat. You are in the middle of the two of them. You’d rather take your chances hanging onto one of the wings than have to sit like this for several hours, but here you were.

You squeezed past Soap and sat in the middle, feeling squished immediately. At least Soap was polite enough to keep his limbs on his side as best as he could. Ghost, on the other hand, made no attempt. His thighs smushed against yours, and his elbow was on your armrest.

He refused to look your way. He stared out the small window for most of the flight. Soap fell asleep on your shoulder about an hour into the flight, so there was no escape for you here. The best you could do was get some work done, listen to some music, count to a thousand - anything that didn’t make you think about what he did.

The hours couldn’t go any slower in your opinion, but they had passed nonetheless. You unbuckled your seatbelt and went to the bathroom, needing a few minutes to breathe - physically and emotionally.

You were craving the night alone you’d have, finally sleeping somewhere other than understimulating barracks.

—

“Enjoy yourselves. But remember, we’re heading out bright and early tomorrow.” The team looked around in awe at the decent hotel they’d be staying in.

“Military budget has its perks, eh?” Soap leaned close to your ear, grinning ear to ear. Luxury wasn’t something you or anyone working jobs like this got often, so it was a treat.

Everyone piled into the elevator, waiting for you to catch up to them. You made eye contact with Ghost, who was in front of the bunch. His eyes brushed over you briefly, but they hastily returned to the floor.

“I’ll take the stairs.” You stated, heading towards them with a clenched jaw. You did just that, jogging down the flights of them to reach your room.

You felt relief over you as you reached your suite. You dropped your bag and flopped onto the bed.

In truth, you wanted to scream into the pillows like a high school girl, but you wanted to handle it better than that.

You took advantage of the grand bathroom, letting yourself soak in it for an absurd amount of time as you worked on some files. For a second, you finally felt a bit of reprieve. But you knew deep down it was going to take more.

You weren’t hurt. You weren’t embarrassed. You were furious.

—

You put on some fresh clothes after your bath - some casual night attire. To say you felt overdressed was an understatement. Having been in uniform for so long, it was an uncanny sensation to you.

The boys were downstairs, surely taking advantage of the open bar and lounge.

It was strange seeing them let loose, laughing with one another. They sat around a card table, intensely playing their card game.

If Ghost weren’t at that table, you might have considered having some fun with them. You hated the sight of him. The way he chatted and played his cards with them like nothing happened.

You strolled over to the bar and sat on one of the stools. Might as well learn something from the man you despised and self-medicate when you’re down.

You stare over your shoulder every so often when one of them celebrates a win or loss. You decide to cut yourself off after a few drinks. Working with Ghost in a foreign country and being hungover on top of it was your limit, so you decided against getting plastered.

“Heading to bed?” Soap asked as he looked up from his cards. You nodded and headed for the elevator.

You stepped inside and pressed your button. Before the doors closed, an arm stuck its way between them. A very familiar tattooed arm. You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

The doors opened again, letting him step inside. Of course, they had to close sluggishly before the elevator started moving.

The thought hit you about halfway to his floor. You punched the stop button with your fist and turned to him. “Tell me something. What makes you think you can get away with it?” He wasn’t going to budge easily, even if you tried to push his buttons.

He sighed and looked at the floor. You noticed he was swaying a bit more than the last time you saw him at the card table. Of course, you decide to give him a piece of your mind when he’s probably not going to remember it.

Might as well get it out of you, or you’ll implode. “You think you can fuck me and then just walk out? Who do you think you are?” You pressed the stop button again when the last timer ran out.

He finally met your eyes, but his look wasn’t what you were expecting. His expression looked pained, even underneath the glossiness of his intoxication.

“I can’t talk about this right now,” he slurred, staring at the numbers increasing closer to his floor.

You tongued the inside of your cheek and clenched the fist leaning on the wall.

“Oh, you’re gonna play that card now. I shouldn’t expect anything less from you, I guess…” You spat, continuing to stare at him as you spoke. “You act tough, but you can’t even face the problems ahead of you. All you know is how to kill and push everyone away!”

He grabbed your forearm tightly and leaned closer. “You… don’t know anything about me. Or anyone here, so keep your mouth shut.” You’d never heard him sound more irate to anyone, and you’d never expected it to be you on the receiving end of it.

You tore yourself out of his grip and took a few steps back, but didn’t break eye contact with him.

“You threaten me again, and I’ll kill you myself.” You snarled back, catching him off guard slightly. He never imagined someone giving it back to him. Luckily, or unluckily, it was you.

As if perfect timing, the doors opened, and you paraded out without looking back, stomping your way to your room.

—

You’d be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t feel good the next morning. The big confrontation didn’t go quite as you planned, but you walked away without a broken bone, and with Ghost - that was a success.

You were the last to meet everyone in the lobby. Price’s face lit up when you were finally there. “There you are. Let’s get going, big day ahead.”

Ghost was even more distant than he was the night he walked out on you if that was possible. That was fine with you. There wasn’t anything you could say to hurt him, he already had that deep inside him - and it was intertwined around him.

At least being in separate cars, you were able to catch up on some sleep. You seemed to never get enough ever since you took the job.

The vehicle jolting to a stop made you open your eyes, then rub them to get your bearings.

You looked around, finding yourself somewhere in the desert of Mexico. This must be where you’ll meet this “Alejandro” figure. Maybe he would be a good ally. But to you, it could be another reason to watch over your back.

Each of you climbed out of the SUVs, looking around at the base in front of you. Whoever he was, he had a decently sized unit he was commanding.

The door swung open and out walked Alejandro. He had his hands placed behind his back, keeping his posture straight. “Captain,” he reaches his hand out and shakes it with Price, scanning your team as well. “Did your team enjoy the hotel?”

Price maintained a friendly attitude as the chatter between them persisted, which made you ease up a bit. Alejandro showed you around his base, which was a sizeable facility. Definitely different than the barracks in Western countries, but not somewhere terribly cramped. He wasn’t running decaying barracks - he definitely had some reach.

“Not as cozy as you’re used to in the States?” Alejandro questioned with a chuckle deep from his chest. “Welcome to Las Almas.” With that, he left everyone to get settled.

Your “room” was more like a group of bunks in the corner of the base. Not as private, and surely something to get used to. You picked the top bunk, purposely waiting until Ghost decided on his so it would be the furthest from him.

You set your bag down to claim the bunk and caught up with the rest of the group as they headed out the door.

Alejandro briefed everyone on the intel he had. He knew a lot more about El Sin Nombre than your team could hope for. The problem was a lack of numbers - which he now had.

The sight of the country around you was a culture shock. You’d gotten comfortable with the way things were while being stationed in the States, you’d forgotten how complex warfare could be for other countries. Things were more rugged and lawless here.

“An ally of ours - Shadow Company, says they’ll have Hassan in custody by nightfall.” Alejandro climbed into the SUV and then followed your team. “We leave now, we’ll be there in time to get you your information, Captain.”

“You sure you’ll be able to shake him?” Price needled, giving him a skeptical glance.

Alejandro snickered and nodded his head. “It’s clear you haven’t met Commander Graves. He’ll get the job done.”

—

It was a long drive, with nothing but endless desert all around you. The sun had set, and the only thing you could see was the dirt illuminated by the headlights.

Finally, the cars came to a stop. You climbed out and stretched your legs, seeing a man knelt in the sand below you. And in front of him, a man with a head of blonde hair.

“Graves,” Alejandro barked, getting his attention. He motioned toward your team, “Task Force 141. They flew in this morning—figured you would appreciate the help.”

Graves turned his head, nodding instead of introducing himself properly. He tore the sack off of Hassan’s head and gave him some halfway threat.

“You are in bed with the cartel, Hassan. If you go missing, no one would look for the fuckin’ stain.” A hint of his accent appeared, the more deeply he blustered the hostage.

He inched closer to Hassan’s face, as the 141 watched in anticipation. “Where are the missiles going? You can start talking… Or become a part of the food chain.” Graves snarled. His voice echoed in the vastness of the wilderness.

Hassan wasn’t going to budge - and you expected as such.

Graves approached the laptop sitting on the hood of the truck beside him, virtually facing General Shepard. “Actual, let me finish this.” He pleaded his palms flat on the car.

“Without proof, we need to cut him loose, and see where Hassan leads us,” Shepard spoke, sounding just as disgruntled as the looks written on your colleague's faces.

Soap shook his head in disbelief, stepping forward. “You can’t be serious, Shepard. He’s right here.”

Unfortunately, rules were rules—even if you did want to execute the man yourself.

“This pissing match is getting us nowhere, Price.” You uttered to him. “He’s too hellbent on making us bleed to give us anything.” You gripped the collar of your vest in frustration.

Price nodded in agreement, tightening his brows at the headache this was causing him.

You burned your gaze into Graves’ back as you strode back to the car. Graves was going to be a problem, you already knew it.

You looked Ghost in the eyes as you passed him, opening up the car door, “I don’t like arrogance. It causes mistakes.”

Ghost’s eyes snapped back, giving you a scowl in response.

—

You’re perched on the rooftop alongside Soap, Graves, and Ghost, overlooking a large adobo-style mansion a few meters back.

“La Casa de Sin Nombre?” Soap inquired, squinting as he examined the building.

“No. One of his Lugartenientes.” Alejandro handed the binoculars to him, letting him see for himself.

The lights on inside the house looked like a lone star circling through the black hole that was the night sky.

A cartel lieutenant - one rank closer to your target.

Alejandro explains that the party will be full of cartel VIPs. It would be risky, but there was no other way to get this close. Your stomach drops at his words.

This wasn’t a celebration - it was a meeting disguised as a party.

The cartel is privy to your squad being in Las Almas, and it’s very clear you’re not welcome.

“Sin Nombre will be there, yeah?” Ghost finally utters a sentence. You almost forgot he was there entirely, and those were blissfully ignorant moments.

Alejandro shakes his head, keeping his mild demeanor. “No guarantees, but it’s our best shot. We go in carefully.”

Graves cocks his head to the side and runs his tongue over his bottom lip. “I’ve got enough Shadows to take over the damn country. One house shouldn’t be a problem.”

“We need Sin Nombre alive.” Ghost retorts. It’s as if nothing anyone said could get through Graves’ thick skull. If you’re in the line of fire, he was not the man you wanted beside you.

Graves ignores Ghost’s tone and speaks again, “Well… Then we need to meet him.”

If it wasn’t obvious, you would’ve kept the scorn on your face visible to Graves. Terrorists were one thing, but the cartel was a deadlier force. This was far out of your element.

“Give them what they want. Intel.” He states matter-of-a-factly. “They wanna know who’s here. Let’s tell ‘em—in person.” His confidence only showed because he wasn’t going to be the one in the hot seat.

It was clear Graves never spent his days getting dirty—he just commanded others to get dirtier.

You knew what he was implying, and every part of you wanted to protest. However, you came here to assist, so that’s what you were going to do.

“Get someone inside, find the boss…” Graves put his palms together and scanned the group before him.

You felt your throat tighten at the thought. Graves looked at you a bit longer than the others, like he was about to volunteer you. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever was in the path ahead of you.

“I’ll do it.” Soap’s words were music to your ears. But deep inside, you realized he would now be at risk, face-to-face with the biggest cartel players.

“You go in there and they’ll kill you, hermano,” Alejandro spoke, staring at Soap’s unusually calm comportment.

“I’ll take my chances. We came here to stop a missile, so let’s stop it.” His tone grew stronger. He was right.

Tough decisions plagued each of your colleagues every day. Learning to accept the fact that it might be your last one was just another lesson to learn.

You took a deep breath, giving Soap a look of esteem. He didn’t need to do this, but he was ready to save countless innocent lives at the drop of a hat.

Alejandro spoke once more, “You’ve got balls, I’ll give you that. You’ll need eyes and ears, I’ll go too.”

Following, Ghost spoke, “I’ll take overwatch.”

“You,” A firm hand reached for your shoulder.

Your throat closed as you circled around, seeing the smirk tease at the corner of Graves’ mouth. “I want you in there with him, too.” He motioned toward Soap, whose lips formed a scowl.

Ghost hid any semblance of change to his face, but his eyes didn’t lie. You knew better than anyone when he was disturbed by something—and the decision to send you in disturbed him.

You were too busy digging your nails into the palm of your hand to notice. The fist clenched at your side couldn’t get any tighter.

At first, it was a simple dislike for Graves. But now, it was complete distaste.

“She ain’t going in there with me.” Soap retorted defensively, puffing out his chest at Graves.

You admired the gesture, but you weren’t going to curl into a ball and hide from this.

Showing weakness enables men like Graves to win. You weren’t going to allow that as you were still breathing.

You nudged Soap with your knuckle and gave him a nod to stand down.

“It’s too late to argue about this, I’m going in there.” Your eyes flicked to Graves, who almost looked shocked you didn’t fight him. That two-fisted look in his eyes only fueled your need to prove him wrong, even if took some small victories to chip away over time.

—

You fiddled with the Shadow patch Graves handed you as if it was a foolproof way to not get a bullet in your head. You begged to differ on that. It wasn’t going to be so simple.

“You sure you’re alright with this?” Soap questioned, meeting your gaze.

You nodded, stuffing the patch into your shirt pocket. “Graves is just trying to show us how big he is. I don’t mind giving him what he wants.” You stated imprudently, walking down the hill with your partner side by side.

“Shadows on the station.” Graves chirped through your earpieces.

“Copy. All set here.” Ghost spouted, placed somewhere with his sights aimed at the guards roaming the property.

The both of you made it to the beginning of the driveway, hesitantly trudging down further.

“Alejandro, how you doin’?” Their radio chatter continued.

Both of you were a little more concerned with being inches from the cartel, so it blended into the music booming through the walls. The only saving grace was Alejandro waiting for the two of you. He, you could tolerate.

Ghost’s scope trailed the two of you as you approached the two armed men at the gate, both of them concealing their faces through ski masks. They could snuff you out right here, right now, and there was nothing Ghost could do to prevent it. That undeniably weighed on him.

You both raised your hands in surrender as they spotted you, instantly rushing over and questioning your presence. The both of you stuck out like sore thumbs in a place like this.

You fluttered your eyelids shut and kept your composure. You were trained for situations like this, you needed to act like it.

The guard on Soap’s side smashed the butt of his SMG into the back of his leg, forcing him to his knees. You were shoved harshly into the same position, your knees digging into the rigid cement. Both of you placed your hands on the back of your head, waiting for the next move.

At least they didn’t shoot us on the spot, the thought ran through your head. You glanced at Soap briefly, giving him a slightly unglued look, which you were trying desperately to hide.

The guard spoke into the headset, poised for his orders.

In a matter of seconds, you had a sack over your head and zip ties around your wrists. Both of you were being escorted inside, with the barrels of their guns digging into your shoulder blades.

You heard the ding of an elevator. As the sound of the door scraping shut ended, the sack was ripped from your heads.

“Alejandro…?” You asked in a hushed voice. You recognized the eyes showing through the holes of the mask he was wearing.

He placed a hand on your shoulder. “No time—give them the good intel in there. Don’t lie, tell them everything they want to know or you’ll die here. Mexican Special Forces, American PMCs, Shadow Company, and Philip Graves.” You give a simple nod, and so does Soap.

You prepared yourself for whoever would be facing you when you reached the basement level. Would it be El Sin Nombre?

The doors whirred open, revealing a bald man dressed in typical Cartel boss streetwear. Colorful button-down, a gold chain hanging around his neck, and most importantly, two holsters with two very loaded pistols.

He looked the both of you up and down as if sizing you up. His eyes stayed on you a little longer than Soap, which you noticed immediately. “These are the two who came to crash the party?” He spoke rhetorically. Alejandro nodded, passing you both along to him.

“You got a name, hawk?” His gaze shifted to the man standing beside you. You gulped as you hid halfway behind him, trying not to attract the wrong attention.

“They call me Soap.”

The captor guffaws dryly as he utters something in Spanish to Alejandro, something you couldn’t catch. You guessed it had to do with Soap’s name. It’s better he’s laughing at a name than your defiled corpses, so you’ll take what you can get here.

“I want to see El Sin Nombre.” You felt your muscles tighten, wanting to smack Soap upside the head. Neither of you was in a position to make demands.

Soap’s collar is gripped tightly by the man, who was growing curter by the second. “You’re only alive because you may have some information.”

The ties dug into the soft skin around your wrists as you tensed your fists.

He holds a finger up to Soap’s face, “And it better be good, Guero, or I’m going to scalp that hawk off your head, and make her watch.”

Your jaw tightened at the gruesome picture replaying in your head. Soap needed to be more careful with his words, as much as he desired to play the Tough Guy act. His stare grew defensive as you were shoved into a walk again, following the way the stone walls guided you.

You followed behind Soap, who was following the captor. “This is my house… That means you don’t see the boss until I say so. You don’t speak unless spoken to. And mas importante—tell the fucking truth. Cause if you lie? I’ll feed you to my dogs.”

His words were received loud and clear by you, and you could tell Soap understood as well.

Alejandro was right about one thing so far… The only weapon you needed to get out of this alive was the truth.

The door to the room you were being led to opened. A young woman, fashioning a short bob and a black tank top was stood there.

“Valeria. Two more, one gringo, one girl.”

“Sit down,” Valeria said with an icy glare, sharply examining the both of you as you were both shoved inside.

There were other men down there, some dead, others struggling against their restraints in torment. Based on the bloody tarps spread out below the chairs, you put together the pieces.

You did as your told, and landed yourself face to face with her. Soap, she was not phased by, but you, she was. You were probably the only other woman in the house aside from the dancing girls.

She stepped toward the man from the elevator. “They say they have information.”

She shoves him to the floor and holds a large blade to his neck, “we don’t know either of them, and they’ve seen our faces, Diego!” She bellowed, digging her painted nails into his chin from behind.

“We need intel—they could help us,” he struggled against her grip slightly, but he was obviously submitting himself to her. You found it strange. When you first saw Diego, he carried the demeanor of a boss and even looked the part.

But here he was, on his knees with a knife to his throat. Valeria played a bigger part in all of this, you knew that for certain.

“They better… Or I kill them—and it’s you in that chair.” She didn’t need to get into specifics to instill fear in those around her. She knew what to say, and just how to say it. You couldn’t screw this up if you wanted any chance of walking out of here.

“Who attacked us yesterday?” She turned her attention to Soap, keeping her pistol drawn at her side.

“It was the Mexican army.” He spoke plainly, looking deeply into her bitter eyes as if to ensure she believes him. “No. It was Mexican Special Forces.” Soap’s backtracking sets back any trust she had in his credibility.

Valeria swings her pistol and whips him in the forehead. Soap winced afterward, blinking away the blood running down his brow bone. “Fuck up again, and you’ll be drifting home in pieces.”

You didn’t doubt that threat for a second. You didn’t doubt how much pleasure she would take in doing it either.

Now, done with questioning Soap, she put her attention on you. “There were outsides helping the Special Forces. Who were they?”

Alejandro’s instructions replayed through your head as she waited for your response.

“American PMCs… Shadow Company, led by Commander Philip Graves. The proof is in my pocket.” You kept your voice as steady as possible, making sure it was clear you weren’t going to make the same mistakes as Soap.

She fingered through your shirt pocket and pulled it out, seeing the logo etched inside the patch of fabric. She looked pleased, which was at least a step up from her usual scowl.

She places the pistol back into her holster and pulls out the same blade she had digging into Diego only moments ago. You felt a lump in your throat as you watched the reflection of the sharp metal bounce of the fluorescent lighting.

With a quick slash, she sliced through the ties, freeing up your tender hands.

“El Sin Nombre will enjoy talking to you.” She grabbed your shoulder and forced you to your feet, a sinister smirk engulfing any confidence you had left.

You jerked your head backward and gave one last glance at Soap, which had an expression of worry so deep you hadn’t seen before.

You had a feeling you weren’t going to have a civil sit down with whoever he was, and then be free to go, to blabber to anyone you pleased. There was something behind that smirk, something you needed to brace yourself for.

You were brought to the top level of the house, and shoved into what looked like a meeting room, but fancier than any you’d ever been in before. One large table, but only a few chairs—only the highest up in the cartel were allowed in here.

You rubbed your bruised wrists as you looked around the room, expecting anything by this point. Did she kill Soap already? Was he being tortured at this very moment?

You reached for your earpiece, which was still filling your ear with gentle static.

It pained you to speak with him, but you needed the reassurance of his voice. “Ghost, how copy?”

“Quiet here. You still alive down there?” You rolled your eyes at his sarcastic tone, knowing the exact expression he probably had while saying that.

Your breathing hitched when the door behind you opened, making you act natural, as if you hadn’t been wearing an earpiece during this entire ordeal.

It was Diego, from the basement. He wasn’t El Sin Nombre, that was blatantly clear. What was the point of this?

Your eyes darted around the room, hoping to spot anything you could use if this went unsavory.

At least you had Ghost in your ear, to be a witness to anything that might happen in this room. Your sudden silence made his stomach tighten. He could sense something was wrong, and he couldn’t do anything to prevent it.

“Relax.” His demeanor made your hairs stand up.

“Valeria wanted me to keep you company… But why keep lying to each other? You know she’s not some ‘Sicaria’… You’ve figured it out.” He taunted you, and he was right.

But you don’t just see the face of a cartel boss and walk away unscathed—things didn’t work that way.

He grabbed the back of your head, digging his fingertips into your scalp. You were slammed into the large oak table, palms parallel to each side of your head.

“I bet you think you know it all, huh? Is that why you came in with Hawk? To keep him from getting himself killed?” You gritted your teeth at the condescending mention of Soap, and swung your elbow backward, nailing him in the ribs.

You flipped around and inched your hand toward the porcelain ashtray, using all your force to bash the side of his head with it. He stumbled backward, holding the gaping wound he now displayed.

He tilted his head upright, giving you a devilish eye. “You fucking bitch.”

His speed overtook you, forcing the both of you to the ground.

You clawed at him, finding any way to weaken him, but it was difficult without any of your gear at the ready. He returned the grip he had on your hair earlier and used it to thump your head into the ground, attempting to stun you. Your defenses slowed, but they didn’t stop.

You were running off pure adrenaline. You clocked him on the temple, giving him three harsh wacks while using the force of your entire upper body, just like Ghost instructed you weeks ago.

His grasp weakened as your fist only irritated the laceration you gave him before, tearing open more of the skin.

The look of pure rage on his face didn’t diminish, even though his energy was beginning to.

He wrapped his large hands around your throat, squeezing with what strength he had left in him. Your legs were pinned with his knees, giving you no out.

You banged against his chest, pulling at the chain around his neck, but nothing would stop him.

One moment the last of your oxygen is being squeezed out of you, and in the next, you’re drenched in his crimson liquid.

The splatter cast all around you, and he was a dead weight laying on top of you. A leather boot kicks him off of you, relieving the strain he was putting on your bones.

Behind the smoking gun, was Valeria.

You choked in a breath, holding onto your burning throat with one hand, the other held up to the gun she’s holding—as if in one ditch effort to save yourself. You didn’t have any more fight in you after that.

That smirk returned as she holstered her pistol.

“Hope you didn’t mind. Had to make him feel big and strong before I got rid of him. Diego was always a pain.” She raised her hand and slowly wiped the blood spot that splashed onto her cheek.

Her eyes always seemed to be dug deep within you, like she had some sort of carnal feeling for you.

You sat there in disbelief, rethinking everything that led you to this moment. You were both the unluckiest and luckiest person on the planet right now.

“Your friends will be coming for me soon. It’s been a pleasure, Cariña.” She peered out the window, hearing the approaching chopper.

She rushed out the door to give Alejandro one more game of cat and mouse that this time, she knew she was going to lose.

Ghost’s voice coming through the earpiece startled you out of your speechlessness. “How copy? Are you alive?” His voice was frantic instead of sarcastic like the previous time.

He heard every bit of what Diego said, and the fray you got into with him. And through it all, you had barely made a sound.

For all he knew, you were laying in a pool of your own blood.

“Copy. Room is clear for now.” You croaked out, fighting the burning sensation that was filling your bruised throat.

You struggled to your feet, using the marble fireplace to pull yourself up.

You placed a palm on the ache your lower stomach had, from where it was digging into the table, and limped out to the roof, where Valeria was being secured.

Somehow, someway, Alejandro and Soap were also standing there, in better shape than you.

You approached Alejandro, swallowing away your discomfort.

“How did you get him out? I thought for sure he was…” You motioned your head to Soap, trailing off your sentence in bewilderment.

He shook his head, noticing how relieved you looked to see your friend alive, and so did Soap. How he managed it, you won’t ever know.

You just cared that you finally had the target your team had been chasing for months, even if the price were you receiving some knocks.

Soap placed a hand on your shoulder, scanning you for any worse injuries than what he could spot at first glance. “You fought a cartel Lieutenant, and you’re standing in front of me? What are we going to do with you?” He questioned playfully, climbing into the helicopter after helping you step inside.

Price’s eyes lit up when he saw you get inside.

“Thought we lost you, Private.” His tone was gentle, like a father comforting his child that fell off his bike.

You leaned your head back against the headrest of the seat, taking a deep sigh.

No one was injured, the target was secure, and you didn’t have the energy to kill Ghost at that very moment—for you, that was the closest you were going to get to a win.

“Next time you get into a brawl, you could at least give me an inch first.” Ghost stated, keeping his stoic composure as placed a bandage on your forehead.

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I think about bashing your face in.” You peeked through the eye that was facing him, keeping your tone low.

You were partially serious, and he knew it.

TAGLIST: @neoarchipelago @ghostlythots @gothgirl6-6-6 @cloudyyjanee

#simon riley x reader #mw2 #simon riley #mw2 fanfic #ghost mw2 #task force 141 #call of duty

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kellykidd · 9 months

Text

Baby Severide - Chapter 1: Growing an Entire Human

*Gif belongs to its rightful owner, it is not mine*

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader Summary: When Kelly accompanies you to an OB appointment, the doctor brings some unexpected news.

Words: 1,569

Warnings: Doctors appointments, not great writing

Read on Ao3 here

Notes: The first chapter of a few. The entire fic isn’t quite done yet. Honestly, I wrote this for me, so if you like it, great, let me know. If not, great too, just don’t tell me. Medical info and such may not be right, sorry :) tagging some friends and mutuals as to celebrate my return to writing

Next Chapters: Chapter 2

Tags: @morganupstead @district447 @mustprotectmattcaseyatallcosts

——

“Hey babe, you home?” Kelly called for you as he opened the apartment door.

“Hey I’m here,” you sighed as you chuckled softly.

“How are my two favourite girls doing?” He asked, setting his duffel bag on the floor before coming to snuggle up with you on the couch.

“We’re ok, feeling like a beached whale though, baby.”

“We are in the home stretch. Take it easy these last few weeks.”

“Oh we’re taking it easy all right. I sat on this couch all day and did nothing, but watch The Bachelor,” you laughed, “how was shift?”

“A car wreck, nothing major. Then I came home early for you,” he leaned over and gave you a peck on the lips before getting up from the couch.

“Where are you going?” You gave Kelly your best puppy dog eyes.

“Well I thought I was going to shower,” he chuckled.

“Can you get me some water and a snack?”

“What about water and some breakfast?”

“Oh, the baby could really use some of your bacon and french toast.”

“You sit here, I’ll make us some french toast.”

“Don’t forget the bacon,” you teased as he went to the kitchen to start preparing your feast.

—

“Breakfast on the couch or the table?” Kelly called, plates clanging in the background.

“How about from our bed?” You laughed back, “I’ve had a long day.”

“You’re growing an entire human, that’s a long enough day as it is without you having to work from home too,” he brought the plates to your night stands and came back for you.

You got up from the couch with his help and started to waddle over to the bed.

“Hopefully only another few hours of working from home,” you sighed, getting under the quilt your mom made you as a wedding gift.

“Heard from the doctor yet?” He asked, sliding into the bed with a coffee in his hand.

“Called this morning. She got a cancellation for this afternoon at 3 to do another ultrasound and checkup so I don’t have go by myself,” you replied, digging into your stack of french toast.

“Our daughter is the luckiest,” he leaned down to kiss your belly.

“With your as her daddy, I have no doubt,” you moved your plate to your night stand and rested your head on his shoulder.

“As of now, I’ll only be away for one more shift before she’s born.”

“How long is Boden giving you for paternity leave?”

“I’m only going to take six weeks. Then I’m gonna use up some furlough, so I’ll be off with you for about eight weeks.”

“I thought you had more time saved up.”

“I get 12 weeks every two years. If we have more kids, I want to have the time to be off both times, baby.”

“I don’t know if I want them that close together though,” you laughed.

“Never know. We didn’t expect this one.”

“That’s true I guess. Hey, what time is it?”

“1:28, why?”

“I have a call at 1:30.”

“What do you need for it?”

“Just my laptop and AirPods.”

“I’ll grab them for you quick.”

He walked across the bedroom to the desk and brought you your things to start your call. He wondered out of the room so you could present in peace.

Kelly walked back into your bedroom near the end of your call. You were just saying goodbye to some coworkers since your maternity leave officially started as soon as your call was finished. You closed your laptop and put it to the side.

“Ready to go?” He asked.

“One thing first,” you smiled.

“Which is…?”

“Can you tie my shoes please?” You laughed.

“Of course, but let’s get going. I haven’t seen the baby in a couple months.”

“I know, I know, my shoes are on the floor by the door.”

“Let’s get you up then, we’ve got to go.”

—

As you pulled up to the doctor’s office, a flutter of excitement filled your heart. Walking into the office, you always dreaded that the OB’s office was on the second floor. You had a seat and waited your turn. Kelly always made sure you were there early after all.

“Mrs Severide?” A nurse called.

You stood up and Kelly held your hand into the exam room.

“There’s a gown on the bed with a blanket. Please put the gown on, the doctor will be in soon,”

“Thank you,” Kelly smiled.

The nurse left the room and you stood by the bed. Kelly sitting in the chair by your side. You started to change and your husband tied the sides of your gown together for you. He helped you onto the bed, draping the blanket over your legs and belly.

There was a knock on the door, “Hi, it’s Dr Calhoun.”

“Come in,” you answered.

Dr. Calhoun closed the door behind her as she came into the exam room.

“How are the parents-to-be feeling today?” She asked.

“A little wobbly, but happy to finally be on maternity leave,” you laughed.

“And how are you feeling, Kelly?”

“A little nervous, but excited,” he replied.

“Any concerns with the pregnancy since we last saw you? From either of you?” Dr Calhoun asked, pulling up your chart on the computer.

“Nothing that I’ve noticed. Just really tired,” you replied.

“That is to be expected, you’re in the home stretch.”

“Kelly said the same thing,” you laughed, “it does help my case of getting him to cook for me when he’s not on shift though.”

“Sounds like you’re doing well then,” she laughed, “let’s take a look at this baby girl.”

She pulled the ultrasound wand and gel out. Kelly held your hand.

“It’s gonna be a little cold, I’m sorry,” she announced.

She squirted the gel onto your belly and flicked the machine on. Swirling the wand around your belly, she turned the screen so you could see the image.

“She’s bigger than the last time I’ve seen her,” Kelly laughed, kissing your hand.

“She has grown a lot in the last month or two,” you smiled, “how’s she looking?”

“Active and growing well. Do you mind if I ask you guys something?” Dr Calhoun asked.

“Sure, is something wrong?” Kelly asked.

“Not at all. How big were you both when you were born?” She replied.

“I believe I was just under seven pounds, and I think Kelly’s mom said he was over 9 pounds. Why?” You replied.

“Your daughter is measuring larger than what we had originally thought. Almost nine and a half pounds. I’m worried about the risk of shoulder dystocia, and I’m thinking it may be easier on you and your baby if you opted for a c-section in the next week or two. A c-section isn’t an easier way out though and the recovery may be difficult.”

“But I’m only 36 weeks, shouldn’t we let her mature a little more?”

“Given her size already, she should be okay to deliver even tomorrow.”

“Kelly still has another shift left before he’s on leave. I don’t think I’m-“ you were starting to shift around on the bed.

“Babe, I’ll take some more furlough. It’ll be okay. Let’s just focus on you and the baby right now,” Kelly stroked your hair, “we’ll be okay.”

“Your baby has grown very well. I am not as worried about her progression as I am about your ability to recover and your baby’s risk of complications. I’ll give you a minute,” Dr Calhoun replied, walking towards the door, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She closed the door behind her and tears filled your eyes.

“What do you think we should do?” Kelly asked.

“If the doctor thinks this is what’s best, I think we should do it,” you wiped the tears from your eyes.

“I’m sorry I make such big babies,” he laughed, rubbing your belly.

“Just means we get to meet her sooner. I think we should do this.”

“When do you want to schedule it?”

“After your next shift. Make sure you don’t have to take any more time off.”

“I would happily take more time off for you and our little girl.”

“Thank you,” your eyes started to swell with tears of joy.

“Knock knock,” Dr Calhoun said, entering the exam room, “have you made a decision or would you like more time?”

“I think we’ve made a decision,” you smiled, “let’s do this as soon as possible.”

“Okay, I’ll leave some paperwork with the nurse at the desk. She’ll get you booked in and give you some instructions. See you both soon. Rest up. Oh and, as always, give us a call if something happens or if you have questions.”

“Thank you Doctor Calhoun.”

Dr Calhoun left the exam room and Kelly helped you change. You made your way to the front desk and booked your c-section. Saturday at 11:30am. Two days away.

Leaving the office, you felt excited. As Kelly started to drive you home, you noticed he seemed excited, but nervous.

“Hey, do you want to stop by 51 on our way home?” You asked, “to tell them the news?”

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Then it gives you a chance to talk to Boden.”

Kelly made a u-turn back in the direction of the firehouse. You were only a few minutes away. He smiled from ear to ear as you pulled up.

#Kelly Severide #Kelly Severide fic #Kelly Severide x reader #Kelly Severide x you #Chicago fire #Chicago fire fic #Chicago fire reader #One Chicago #one Chicago fic #Baby Severide fic

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suzukiblu · 3 months

Text

WIP WEDNESDAY GAME

Taken from @kedreeva.

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

file names:

call me cute and feed me sugar

when I see myself, I always know where you are

I'm all yours but you're all mine

a fake cryptid and a real romantic

when you don't believe, that's why you fail

Well, I did "think pink" last week, so it's only appropriate to do all the other DC WIPs I've got going on AO3 this week, right? There's five of them right now, it's just natural! Can't be helped! Totally has to be done!

And just to remind you all, I’m totally cool with people requesting multiple WIPs, but I’d prefer if you sent them in multiple asks! Just a little easier for me that way.

snippet from “call me cute and feed me sugar”:

Tim is pretty sure the date went well, since Kon seemed to enjoy playing with the sensory exhibits, cleaned his plate at the restaurant and finished Tim’s own entrée before going back for dessert, and spent half of the planetarium show star-dazzled and the other half of it making out with him in the back row, and then gave him a goodbye kiss he still hasn’t emotionally recovered from. Like, that seems like a successful date? Or reasonably successful, anyway.

Planning ahead with a side of psychological analysis has once again paid off, Tim is pleased to note. Definitely worth making the fake IDs.

Tim snuck way too many pictures, probably, but it’s whatever. Kon didn’t seem to mind, the times he’d caught him. Now he’s gone and set a standard, though, so he’s not sure what he should do for their next date. He’s got to plan it, obviously; he can’t expect Kon to.

Tim is in his room and already three layers deep into the corkboard he’s planning date options and gift ideas and “is Kon getting enough calories?” math on when Kon texts him, and he stops in the middle of listing the pros and cons of a smart watch as a second-date present to read it.

He may or may not have given Kon his own text alert and ringtone, but that’s his own damn business.

#meme #wip wednesday #wip: obligatory sugar baby kon #long post

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thecreelhouse · 3 months

Text

part time soulmate, full time problem

Paring: Gator Tillman x Alt fem!reader (she/her pronouns) || MDNI!!

Summary: Your last day in North Dakota finally arrives. Both Gator and you find ways to make the best of the remaining time together, but not without emotional roadblocks and complications surrounding your future with him.

It’ll all work out, right?

Word count: 11.7k

CW/Tags: PTSD, daddy issues for both reader and Gator, hurt/comfort, soft n sweet smut, fluff, discussion of familial abuse

Series Masterlist // Read on AO3

A/N: hooooooo boy, here it is, the final chapter of this series!! There’s a fuck ton of hurt/comfort, diving into past traumatic childhood experiences, and lots of daddy issues from both gator and reader. I definitely got emotional writing this, but I hope y’all enjoy it regardless <3 I’m already working on a follow up, so keep your eye out for it in the near future!! Love y’all, tysm for all of the support on here and AO3!!

Day 10

“Where the hell are we goin’?” The already few, spaced out, empty properties began to fade away into the distance when you looked out the side mirror of Gator’s truck. “There’s nothin’ out here, Gator.”

“Calm your tits—“

You pointedly glare his way, “Don’t bring them into this.”

He disregards your remark, settling your question, “It’s worth the trip, I promise.”

Eyes still narrowed at him, you cross your arms before mentioning, “I watch true crime documentaries, I know what comes next.”

“Christ, I’m not— please say you’re joking.”

A laugh sneaks out, and Gator rolls his eyes while still focused on the road. Or, well, what should be a road. The snow’s packed tight onto the ground, and you’re pretty sure it’s a desolate, dirt road under all that frozen water.

The tall pine trees tower high above the car, thickening alongside the road as Gator drives on. He’s going at a safe pace, which you’re grateful for, considering how lumpy the road is.

“Can I see this?” You ask, reaching over to him before he can even answer, plucking his hat off his head.

“Hey, I didn’t say you could!”

“Ya’ snooze, ya’ lose.” You put it on backwards, the way he wears it sometimes. Gator can’t be mad, he thinks you look cute in anything of his, and this is no different. He can’t help taking quick side glances at you, lips quirking into a soft smile when he notices you adjusting it in the sun visor’s mirror.

“Where’s your hat?”

“Home,” You frown, catching onto the way you answer him. “I mean, your home, not like, mine. Just…. Y’know.”

“Uh-huh.” Gator’s been taking every chance to tease you tonight, like he has to make the best of the time you have left together. “I think you just wanna live here again.”

“In your dreams, Tillman.” You’re only joking back, but something about your response feels low. “Y’know, you’re the only thing keeping me from going home.”

“Weird, since I was the thing that made you want to leave.” His is a low blow, too, but it’s only fair. Gator pulls off the road, past the edge of the tree line before driving into a wide, open field. “What do I gotta do to make ya’ stay, darlin’?” He’s sad you’re leaving tomorrow, technically later today; it’s way past midnight of the day you’re set to fly back. But he refuses to be that guy who holds their partner back from their own goals and dreams for his own selfish reasons.

Is it so selfish of Gator to want to give you the love and care you’ve always deserved?

“Well, for starters, not drag me out into the middle of nowhere like you’re about to kill me-“

“Here I am, tryin’ to take you on a cute date—“

“A date? In the big empty field? No one else around for miles? Unless someone’s out hidin’ in the forest.”

“We can just go back home, if ya’ want.”

“Yours, or mine?” You waggle your eyebrows at him. Gator rolls his eyes with a huffed out laugh, leans over, grabbing the hat back and getting out of the truck before you can steal it again.

You start to step out from the passenger side, but Gator runs around the front of the truck, blocking you from exiting.

“Hey, what gives?”

“Gimme one minute, okay? And don’t peek. Just stay here for a sec’.” Gator doesn’t wait for your answer, just gently pushes the door closed while winking at you and heading to the back.

The sound of the truck’s gate coming down and rustling in the cab echoes through to the front of the truck. “That looked more like an eye twitch,” You loudly grumble.

“Hey!” Gator’s muffled voice is heard through the cab’s windows, earning your giggles. He opens the window connecting the truck to the cab, but only enough to see him. The windows were covered, anyway. He’s smiling like a dork at you. “You gonna survive the cold for two seconds?”

“I will, but you won’t if I lock you out.”

“Jesus, you’re in high gear tonight.” He teases, shutting the window before rounding back to open your door. “C’mon, old lady.” He holds your hand out for you, linking his arm into yours as you slide out. The two of you wander to the back of the truck, cold nipping at your skin.

“Oh my God, I made one comment about resting my eyes—“

“Which turned into a four hour nap—“

“Listen, I love a good depression nap—“ You stop, but not by interruption and banter this time. You’re staring into the bed of the truck in awe; string lights loosely dangle along the interior, with what looks like endless, comfy blankets and pillows. There’s a basket with snacks and two beer tallboys— well, that nasty liquid dirt he calls beer, for himself, but some kind of fruity cider for you. Somewhere buried beneath the blankets, a soft, futon-like mattress creates a barrier between the blankets and truck’s bed, so neither of you end up on the cold metal. It’s not the most glamorous set up, but you can tell he put a lot of effort into this.

Gator points to the little tea-light candles around the interior, too. “Sorry they’re not real, but I know we’re both way too fuckin’ clumsy for real candles.”

You laugh, “You’re not wrong.” You look at Gator, then back to the setup, and back to him, still in awe. “You did this?”

“I know it’s not fancy, or anythin’, but I figured maybe you’d wanna see some stars before goin’ back to all that light pollution.”

“Who knew you were such a romantic, Tillman?” You’re pulling him into the truck as you climb in, kicking your shoes off, careful not to track snow in.

You used to love stargazing when you lived here. The wide open spaces, the ones you hated most, were some of the greatest locations to stargaze. You and Willow came out to spots like these often, and eventually Gator would join sometimes. Willow never minded. She honestly loved when the three of you were together, for anything. Willow saw Gator as family, and vice versa.

———

Fixated on the sky, the three of you shared a blanket on top of a tarp, keeping the blanket dry from the snowy ground. Willow’s got her wide, curious eyes pointed upwards, one gasp after another as she watched meteors shoot across the horizon, sparkling in their own trails.

“Didya’ see that one?! Holy shit!”

“Willow, watch your mouth.”

Willow stuck her tongue out at you like a child before gazing back at the sky. “Like you weren’t just saying every damn cuss in the book when snow got in your boot a few minutes ago.”

Gator couldn’t help but laugh; any time Willow came at you with the sisterly banter, Gator always backed her up, the two of them outnumbering you.

“She’s got a point.”

“See? Thank ya’, Gator—” Willow lost her track of thought when something flashed above. “That was the biggest one yet!” You always loved how her childlike wonder came out during the purest moments in life.

She was still a child. She would always stay a child. Forever.

If only you made a wish on one of the meteors, for Willow to stay, for her to be able to grow up, grow old. The two of you always joked about getting Victorian farmhouses next to one another as old ladies, with lots of happy, fat cats in each home, and wrap-around porches to watch sunsets from in handmade rocking chairs.

Willow would never live long enough to see if that silly joke would come true.

“You haven’t wished on any of these yet, kiddo.” When you pointed this out, Gator stole the end of your blanket, trying to stay warm, too. You sighed playfully, giving up as much of the blanket as possible without surrendering your own warmth. Gator slid closer to keep from pulling the soft fabric from you, but it just gave you butterflies.

“You don’t know that. I could’ve kept a wish to myself. You’re supposed to do that, y’know, or it won’t come true.”

“That’s silly,” You retorted, “Saying it out loud won’t ruin a wish if ya’ keep workin’ towards it.”

Willow huffed, rolling her eyes at you before grabbing her thermos, “You’re a stick in the mud. Where’s the fun in tellin’ everyone your wishes? Those are like… deep secrets.” She shivered as she sipped from the container, filled with hot cocoa. “Man, this stuff rules.”

“Mama’s recipe, but I added some cinnamon sugar.” You murmured with a soft smile while your kid sister warmed herself up with the cocoa.

“A bajillion times better than her’s.” Willow admitted, staring back up at the sky, before she softly called your name. You give her your full attention as she asked, “You think we’re gonna make it out someday?”

Gator sat back, not wanting to invade the personal conversation between two siblings, but he did admire the way you looked out for Willow. He always did.

You didn’t miss a beat answering Willow, “F’course I do, Lo. I know we will. You’re gettin’ your license soon, I got approved for that new place, we got our lil’ launch pad, and when you’re done with school—“

“Can’t we just go when you’re done with your senior year?” She suggested; you knew she wanted out of here as soon as possible. “I can always do online schoolin’ to graduate!”

You hesitated. There was nothing more you wanted than to promise Willow safety and unconditional love. You already did your best, but it wouldn’t be official until you could finally convince your parents to let you take custody of her. There was so much you couldn’t help her with because you weren’t her legal guardian.

Shielded by the blanket you shared with Gator, he gave your arm a gentle squeeze, a little gesture of understanding and support.

“One day at a time, kiddo.” Was all you were able to tell her. She nodded, disappointed; it was always the same answer, but she knew there was only so much you could do. Willow didn’t have full freedom until you could hopefully adopt her, or wait two more years before turning eighteen.

“Maybe it’ll happen sooner if I wish on it.” She murmured, staring back at the sky.

That’s when Gator chimed in, “Y’think it’ll have a better chance of comin’ true if we all wished on it?” He was doing his best to keep the two of you optimistic.

“Gotta wait for a real big one— oh!” Willow sat up as the biggest shooting star of the night crossed over the three of you. It burned the brightest, it filled both you and Willow with the hope to keep on keeping on. She grinned back at the two of you. “That was good timin’, Gator.”

When Willow looked back to the sky, you mouthed a ‘Thank you’ to Gator. The response of his smile was warm and comforting.

“Alright, kid, we should probably get goin’.” You suggested. “It’s fuckin’ freezin’, and you forgot your damn gloves. Better not have frostbite.”

Willow giggled as she asked, “One more wish?” you nodded, and she looked up as she waited for the right meteor to appear. It wasn’t long before a meteor shot across the sky, nearly as bright as the previous, flashed before her eyes. She closed her eyes and crossed her fingers for a moment. “Okay, I’m ready. And no frostbite, promise.” She wiggled her hands in front of your face as proof.

While the three of you were packing your belongings up, heading back to Gator’s truck, Willow murmured, “I hope it comes true. Maybe it’s one that it’s okay to say out loud. Maybe it’d help make it come true.”

You turned to her, curious. “Y’gonna tell me what it is?”

Willow smirked, glancing at you and Gator, “Yeah,” she opened the truck’s door, throwing her stuff onto the car seat before climbing in. “I wished the two of you would just get together already.”

Gator exchanged a look with you, exasperated and embarrassed, while the both of you tried coming up with cover ups and excuses, “I- it’s not like that,” and, “we’re just friends”. His cheeks were red, and you held your hands up in defense, eyes wide at her audacious admission.

“Uh-huh,” Willow gave the two of you a perceptive look, bold smirk still present. “Tell me that in ten years.”

——

“Do you think there’s an afterlife?” You find yourself asking Gator, cuddled in blankets with him, while holding your cider can; your hands are shielded by the blanket, making it a little less frigid to hold the cold can.

The two of you are perched on the truck’s tailgate, eyes glued to the sky above while you point out some constellations, the few you could remember from Willow’s shared knowledge, at least.

“Where’s that comin’ from?” Gator’s a little puzzled by your question. “Course I do. We gotta go somewhere after this, right?”

Gaze still on the stars, you nod. “I only believe in heaven a lil’ bit. Only because I’d like to think ‘Lo got there. Or some place like it.” Your head rests on his shoulder while a small laugh slips out. “Remember when ‘Lo wished we’d date?”

Gator snorts at the memory, “She knew before either of us did.”

“I think whatever afterlife she ended up in, she’s watchin’ us from, laughing at how dumb we were right now.” You take a swig from your can, finishing off the alcohol inside while you follow up with, “I wish she was still here.”

Gator follows suit, drinking the last of his shitty beer before pulling you into him, throwing the cans aside somewhere in th cab. “I know, darlin’. I do too.” He kisses the top of your head softly, lingering for a moment, basking in the moment and your warmth, your presence; it’ll all be gone again later today, and he’s trying to cherish every second left the two of you have together.

“Sometimes I wonder if she hates me, or if she’s mad at me that I didn’t do more to help her. Maybe… maybe she’d still be here.”

“No way, no chance in hell Willow would ever hate you, not in this life, or any life. She’d be so proud of you, y’know.” Gator speaks softly, fingers lightly tracing along the arm his hand rests on; his arm slung behind your shoulders, keeping you close. “Ya’ still got outta here, you moved halfway ‘cross the country, all on your own. You created a whole new life for y’self, one that you always deserved. She really would be proud, darlin’.” Gator tilts your face to his, hand resting along your jaw and cheek. “I know I am.”

The tears are already flowing, but you don’t bother trying to stop them. They’re not necessarily happy tears, but they’re not sad, either. Gator swipes some stray drops away with his thumb, and you can’t help leaning into his touch.

He’s not exactly sure why, maybe it’s because of the emotions running high, or the heartbreaking conversation, but he feels it’s right to ask first, respect boundaries, “Hey, darlin’?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss ya’?”

You’re smiling and nodding. “Always, Gator.” You lean into him first; it’s delicate and brief. You pull back to look him in the eye while he wraps his arms around you fully, nudging you back into him, kissing you again.

Neither of you rush the pace, letting things flow at their own rate; hands wandering on one another’s bodies, as if it’s the first time you’ve ever touched. Your lips dance with his, slow and smooth like silk, as if you’ve had yet to kiss. Gator tries to be graceful with the way his tongue swipes along your lips, asking for permission to be let in, but once you allow him, his teeth clash against yours, ever so slightly. It makes him breathe a laugh into you, embarrassed, but you’re still smiling into the kiss.

It goes on like this for some time, the two of you just soaking up each other’s presence and energy, enjoying the company while it lasts. Gator can feel your heart pumping out of your chest while you’re pressed against him. You don’t miss the tiniest whimper that slips from him when you’re climbing into his lap, or the way he’s tugging at your clothes, trying to bring you closer to him, as if there was still a gap to close.

Foreheads pressed together, he pulls back, whispering, “I love you.” He’s responded the few times you’ve said it, but this time he said it first. Breathless, your lips ghost over his, “I love you, too.”

Gator rarely heard those words said to him, nor did he ever really feel a need to tell someone he loved them. Being raised in a family where love was conditional, if it even existed, took a toll on his heart growing up. Hearing it from you sounds so honest, like your love is unconditional for him.

It always has been.

You’ve only exchanged those words with Willow, until you moved. Some of your closest friends in the city say it, and mean it, and you mean it in return, but this is different. This doesn’t stop at the boundary of ‘just friends’. This has no barrier. This is something you’ve always felt, even when hate shadowed over your love for Gator, it was always there. Just like his feelings were always there for you, too.

His lips crash back onto yours, and everything is bliss.

When the two of you meld together like this, the darkest moments of the past and their consequences fade away. Every little fuck up, harsh word, insult, even the years of silence, they all fall off into some distant place; out of sight, out of mind.

“Need,” Is all you can think to say, muffled against his lips while you’re dizzy from all of the emotions you’re running through tonight.

Gator’s kissing down your neck, trying his best not to rush for the sake of chasing a high too soon. “What d’ya need, darlin’?” The gravelly tone of his voice reverberates against your sensitive skin. A breath shudders out of you before pulling back, leaving Gator lost, but he reminds you, “We don’t have to do anythin’ if you’re not up for it.”

You’re shaking your head feverishly, moving back onto the pillows while grabbing Gator, tugging him back with you. He stops himself from falling forward onto you with his hands outstretched, boxing you in. ”Wait-“

”Can’t.” Your fingers are gracelessly fumbling with the zipper of his jacket, but he grabs your hand, stopping you.

”Just wanna close the back so we don’t freeze, that’s all,” Gator’s quick to pull the gate back up, shutting everything tight before coming back to you. “Always so needy.” It’s lighthearted teasing, but it ignites a spark lower in your body, heat blooming everywhere from the source.

“Only because you’re taking your dear sweet time over there,” You’re murmuring, tugging at his clothes again so he ends up on top of you.

“Jesus, where’s the fire, freak?” Gator jokes as you flip him over, ending on top. “Hey, seriously, we don’t have to rush th—“ The words die on his tongue while he admires the view of you from underneath. He’s only seen you on top once, the night he convinced you to sit on his face, but this is different. There’s something really cliche, but really… angelic, about the way the moonlight spills over you from this position.

You’re still fully dressed, you’ve gained extra eye bags and the circles have grown darker over the last few days with messed up sleep patterns; your eyes have been red from all of the crying you’ve done, and the bruising around your face injury is only becoming more prominent as time goes on, spilling out from underneath the bandages.

Despite it all, Gator can’t stop admiring your features, your entire being. Despite it all, you’ve got a natural beauty that radiates through the damage and trauma you’ve carried all of your life. You still try to find the bright side where you can, you’re the only one who believes in Gator, only one who ever has, passing on the hope to continue trying, continue making efforts to be a better person to him. Every little detail, mentally, emotionally, physically, inside and out, he loves. He loves you for you, and he could kick his past self for not seeing it until now, but he’s grateful he’s been given this second chance with you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You freeze, feeling shy under his observant stare. “Did I do something wrong?” He shakes his head quickly, sitting up and adjusting so you’re straddling him. You don’t have a chance to question what’s on his mind when he’s right back to teasing that sensitive spot on your neck with his lips. You giggle at the touch, hands wandering into his hair; he didn’t bother with slicking his hair back after showering earlier, and you’re silently thanking him, content that you can run your hands through his strands, have something to grab onto.

The work of your hands makes him hum against your skin, making his way to your collarbone with his trail of kisses. His fingers fumble with unzipping your jacket, trying to be slow and gentle, but he needs this off now. It’s not something he desires in a haze of lust, but he just needs to be as close as possible to you, bodies pressed and tangled together, no barriers.

“Gator?” You gasp as his cold hands work their way under your shirt, jacket and hoodie now tossed aside. When his fingers touch your bare skin, realizing you didn’t bother with a bra, he groans, while you yelp at the cool sensation of his thumbs rubbing slow, soothing circles against the sensitive nubs. Your head lolls back as he toys with your piercings; eyes fluttering shut, breathy little sounds escape your lips. He’s tugging at the hem of your shirt, rolling it up and over your body, tossing that into the pile of discarded clothes quickly growing next to you.

“Yeah?”

“Off.” You’re grabbing at his layers, moving quickly, wanting to feel him against you. “Fuck, m’cold.” That’s all Gator needs to hear to help you strip him faster before he’s pressed against you.

“Gonna keep ya’ warm, promise.” He vows huskily before his mouth ends up on one nipple, hand toying with the other. Wriggling in his hold on you, you’re whining, arms wrapped around him in return. He’s alternating between teasing with his lips, his tongue, and his teeth, ever so lightly. Your heartbeat runs wild, and Gator is hooked onto the feeling of it pounding against him while he’s close to you.

Your hips weakly move against his; you’re giving it your all to stay patient, not rush this moment, but all you can think of is grinding down onto him, making him shudder and moan. Gator’s losing the steady train of thought he began with; he’s craving you, all of you, and his mind’s running in multiple directions at once. He’s clumsily kissing all over you, fingers working in a desperate pace to discard your pants. He needs to touch every inch of you, kiss every part of your being, because he has no fucking clue when he’ll have you this close again.

Taking the hint of his motions, you awkwardly wiggle out of your pants, tugging his off too. It takes some patience and awkward laughs, but the two of you are finally, fully exposed to one another. The thought makes you retreat into yourself, growing shy, and Gator notices immediately.

“You doin’ okay?” He’s asking with sincerity, as always, while checking in with you during intimate moments. You nod as heat rises to your face, incredibly aware of how exposed you are in the moment, and not just physically. “What’s got ya’ nervous?”

You’re looking away, embarrassed, but Gator gently grabs your chin, turning you back to him. His thumb rubs gently along your jawline, a small, but mighty gesture of reassurance that you’ve grown to appreciate in your time with Gator.

“Sorry, I… I’m realizing this is, like, the first time I’m not hidin’ behind any kinks. Hasn’t happened with anyone I’ve been with… saying it out loud sounds so ridiculous, but—“

“Y’got nothin’ to worry ‘bout, darlin’.” Gator reassures, brushing his nose up against yours. “We can stop if you want, but if you’re okay to keep goin’, I just wanna show ya’ how much I love ya’.”

Biting your lip softly, a slight curve of a smile appears on your face before the overthinking restarts. “I just don’t want you to disappoint you. With anythin’, not just sex.” You’re whispering, like it’s your biggest fear. Because it is. “I don’t want you to wake up one day and regret any of this happened.”

“Disappoint me? Y’kiddin’ me?” Gator’s softly flexing himself up towards you, cock rubbing against your clit, earning a shiver and a matching whimper from you. “You could never. If anythin’, I should be worried I’ll disappoint you.”

It’s becoming unbearable to ignore how much you want, how much you need Gator right now. You make it clear with the way you’re lazily grinding along his length.

“You won’t. I believe in you. You’re a better person than y- you realize, Gator.” It’s difficult to keep focused on the heartfelt conversation when the tip catches on your entrance, hitching a heavy breath in your throat in anticipation.

“Only ‘cause of you, darlin’.” He locks eyes with you, awaiting permission silently, and you nod, pushing yourself onto him. The stretch as you sink down onto him is just as intense as the first time the two of you fucked, but this feels different.

“O- oh—“ The way he fills you is so mind numbing in all the best ways. He’s kissing your neck, whispering affectionate promises to you, ones that you almost miss over the way you’re breath continues to shudder. Gator’s fingers dance along your spine, tracing soothing patterns while you get adjusted to him all over again. His hands flatten against your back, holding you upright as you arch, panting softly.

All the other times you fucked, while nothing wrong with pleasure itself, were just for that, just for chasing the high you both would desire in the heat of the moment. Now, it’s the need to be as close to one another as possible, to become one, let the world crumble away and realize all that matters in the moment is what you and Gator have together. All that matters to you in this moment is Gator Tillman.

Once an absolute, unjustified asshole, the reason you finally left your old life behind, the absolute bane of your existence… now, he’s trying, and showing he wants to be better. He is better than who he tried to be all those years ago. Somehow, the boy who drove you to leave everything in the Midwest, became the man you unexpectedly loved and cared for this entire time. He became your biggest supporter, your protector, and all you wanted was to give that in return. You want to be his biggest supporter, the one who encourages him that he’s so much more than the horrid hand of cards he was dealt, until he can see it himself. Even then, you’ll always support him. Even if everything were to crash and burn tomorrow, your love and support for him could never, ever change.

Pulling back, he asks, “How y’feelin’, angel?” You’re holding your breath, nodding with your eyes clamped shut, but it’s not a sufficient enough answer for him. “Gotta talk to me, need to know if you’re okay to keep goin’ or not.” It’s not a demand trying to pressure you into consenting, it’s a demand to be open and honest for your own well being.

“Mhm- yeah- y-“ He twitches inside you, causing you to gasp roughly. “I’m good.”

“Y’sure?”

“Yeah I promise, m’good,” You’re forcing yourself to breathe slowly; this is a challenge for you to just rely on passion instead of lust. It’s there, the passion is very much present, but this is new for you. “Y- you good?”

“Look at me,” Gator softly orders, and you do, butterflies fluttering madly in your stomach as you lock eyes with him. The two of you are still for a moment, then he thrusts up into you, just once. It’s slow, but he’s not holding back on the intensity. “I’m good if you are.”

“F—“ you bite your lip, stopping yourself from whining a pathetic ‘fuck me’, trying not to ruin the moment. A smug look winds up on his face.

“Say it.” His lips are back on your neck, making marks; bite, sooth, repeat.

“No, I’m- M’tryin’ to be good.” You rasp out as he fucks into you again.

“You are bein’ good, darlin’.” You’re dizzy from his praise, words vibrating against your skin with his gravelly voice. “You’re my good girl, yeah?”

That causes a ripple effect of shivers throughout your body, walls fluttering around him. Gator starts to moan, but mutes himself as he starts marking you up again.

“I asked ya’ somethin’.” His fingers tweak and pinch at your nipples. “You gonna answer?”

“Y- uh-huh…” Your lids are heavy, eyes ready to roll back as he thrusts into you, deeper than before. “M’your good girl.”

“Damn right ya’ are.”

In a lust-drunk haze, you murmur, “You’re mine too.”

His tongue runs over a fresh bite mark, pulling a whimper out of you. He chuckles at your noise. “I am, angel. All yours.”

Another spark ignites within you as you think about how last minute change of plans and a miserable snowstorm brought the two of you back together, in ways you only ever dreamed of.

“I- I love you,” You’re murmuring against his lips as he makes his way back up to your face, rolling your hips and grinding onto him. “Fuck, Gator. God. Fuck. I’m so— ah!” Gator bucks up into you, eyelids heavy with desire as his attention’s all on you. “M’so fuckin’ glad we got snowed in together.”

Gator laughs softly before kissing you again. When he pulls back, he’s whispering between your parted lips, “Best Christmas in a long while, huh?” You’re rolling your eyes playfully, but laugh, too. Splaying your fingers against his chest, you push him back onto the pillows; as he huffs out a breath when he hits the pillows, he’s watching you in surprise and awe as you take over.

You tilt your hips as you arch back, hitting your sweet spot just right. Gator’s eyes begin to roll back, but he’s fighting it, wanting to watch the way you skillfully grind onto his cock. The grip your thighs have on his sides is strong, while his gaze is fixated on the way your plush thighs meet your soft hips and belly. “Fuck, you’re unreal,” he breathes, gripping into the doughy curves, guiding you as you continue rolling your hips.

“Please, you’re so h— fucking- f- fuck—“ You begin to spasm against his body, trying your hardest to stave off your climax.

“Let it happen, darlin’.” Gator coaxes, bucking up into you. You cry out, feeling how deep he is inside of you. “C’mon, pretty girl, I know you can do it.” He reaches down to your clit, both painfully needy for friction and over sensitive. You’re crying out again, head falling back while your hand reaches for his free hand, lacing your fingers into his.

“I- I don’t want to make a m—“

“Ya’ can, y’know I like it.”

“But I don’t w- want t- to on you.”

Gator bucks up into you again, grunting as his cock is buried to the hilt within you. “Did y’forget what ya’ already did on my face a few nights ago?” His words almost come off cocky, but if anything, it’s weirdly encouraging. All he cares about right now is making sure you feel good, reminding you that you’re safe with him, whether it be your deepest secrets, or your most vulnerable moments in bed.

You’re nodding, embarrassed, but the feeling building inside of you is too sweet to ignore. The pace of your hips stutter, getting sloppy as you get closer to your high. Gator takes over, planting his feet onto the makeshift bed beneath the two of you as he fucks up into you relentlessly. The wind is stolen out of your lungs as you cry his name, climax striking through you, causing your hips to jolt and body to shake as you ride it out. There’s a faint ringing in your ears, while you feel yourself become weak. It’s not like the time you passed out, but you’re drained; you let yourself collapse forward onto Gator, holding onto him with the little bit of energy left within you.

“Almost there, darlin’,” He’s grunting into your ear, doing his best to finish, knowing how overstimulated and exhausted you’re already feeling. “Fuck. Fuck—“ He’s moaning your name loudly as he fills you, grip on you tight as if this is all just a dream about to end. You’re whimpering as his tempo slows, feeling fragile; for the most vanilla sex of your life, you’ve never felt this spent before.

Raw emotions are one hell of a rush.

Gator is cautious and tender as he flips the two of you over to end up on top before leaning down to you. With his lips on yours, he’s not sure what pace to take, slow and steady or fast and needy, which usually comes out more clumsy than anything. He’s still inside you, barely soft as aftershocks cause your walls to flutter around him. He’s groaning as he pulls back a little to look at you, “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, darlin’.”

“This is fucking insane, Gator.” Your voice shakes, and he’s nervously watching you, waiting for your next thought.

“… What is?”

“If this was with anyone else, I’d say it’s fucking crazy to go from hating each other to loving each other in less than two weeks, but … But it feels so… right with you. I don’t fucking get it.”

Gator leans in to kiss your forehead, lips lingering as he asks, “Is that a good thing? Because I really hope it is.”

“Yeah- fuck. God. Sorry. I’m all over the place right now.” You try laughing it off, but a tear slips out. Your breaths won’t slow, either as another tear falls. Then another. And another.

Get it the fuck together already.

He’s kissing each of your tears away, but that only makes them flow faster. “What’s on your mind?”

The words leaving you sound so broken, so foreign to you, but they’re brought to life regardless. “Can I stay?”

Gator wants more than anything to say yes. He wants more than anything to keep you here, leaving behind any worries of when he’ll see you again. He wants the reassurance of knowing you’d be safe with him around. He wants more than anything in this goddamn world to start it all over where it began, to rewrite the future with you, to have a future at all with you, one that whatever happens, you’ll be by one another’s side.

Except, what Gator wants isn’t what you need.

“M’sorry darlin’, I can’t let you do that.”

“What? Why not?” The look on your face shatters his heart. “I don’t wanna leave you.”

“You… y’know you weren’t meant to stay here. You know yourself how much this place kills ya’ inside.” It’s not a lump in his throat, but a massive boulder; he can’t keep himself from beginning to cry. “You can’t just stay here for me. That ain’t fair to you, and everythin’ you worked so hard for.”

Sitting up without warning, you wriggle out from underneath Gator, not even concerned about the loss of him once inside you, or the mess that the two of you made. “It’d be my choice, you’re not makin’ me do anythin’ I don’t want to.” You’re trying to stay strong, trying to hold back more tears, but the way your hands shake show otherwise.

“And it’d be the only one you’d ever make that I couldn’t support.” This conversation, centered around your unexpected relationship and what the outcome would be before flying home, had to happen at some point while you were still here. “You wouldn’t be happy, and I know there’s nothin’ I can say or do to change that if you were to stay.”

I fuckin’ hate when Gator knows me better than I know myself… only because he’s right.

“So, what? I’m supposed to just… forget about all of this? Are we gonna go back to hating one another?” Your voice trembles into a scoff as you teeter on the line between anger and sadness. “Jesus, you could’ve at least waited until I got home to tell me it’s over. Y’didn’t have to say you loved me back if you didn’t mean it.”

“No, wait, that’s not—“ He’s freezing up, thoughts tangling into impossible knots to sort through. Anger builds inside him, not towards you, but towards himself for always saying the wrong thing, to anyone in any circumstance. “I- I meant it, I swear. I wouldn’t say it back if I didn’t.”

“Then what is it, Gator? What are you trying to tell me?” Emotions building up, you’re doing your best to take deep, steady breaths. “I lost you once already, I can’t lose you again.”

It feels as if Gator’s chest is caving in on him, leaving him with shallow breaths and panic. ‘I lost you once already, I can’t lose you again.’ He can’t do this to you again, he doesn’t want to hurt you like that again. He wasn’t trying to, right?

“I can’t let ya’ stay and waste your life away. I can’t let you stay and end up stuck with a fuckin’ loser like me.” His face reddens, and he can’t hold it back anymore. It’s not a soft cry, it’s a full on sob. “Y’made a promise to Lo, to yourself. I can’t just selfishly encourage you to throw everythin’ away, especially not for me.”

That’s when it dawns on you; you jumped the gun, out of fear of abandonment, when he just wants to continue protecting you, even if it means keeping you miles and miles from here. Gator still thinks he needs to protect you from himself. Now you’re the one triggering his fear of abandonment without meaning to, but you’re still ashamed.

“Oh, God. Gator… Honey, I’m so sorry.” You’re hooking your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He tucks his face into your bare shoulder, You don’t think you ever saw him cry like this before. Maybe when you were kids, when he realized his mom was never coming back home, but it wasn’t like this. This… this is tearing open barely healed scars, scarred by your pain from him leaving you behind. He just wants what’s best for you, even if it means you’re safe, far, far away from here. Even if it means he’ll never be able to see you again.

The sobs tear through Gator, leading his body to quiver against yours. You’re the one pulling him into your lap for once, while your hold on him becomes a shelter, safe and warm, keeping his fears at bay.

“I- I let my worries get the best of me. I’m so sorry, love.” You’re carding your fingers through his hair soothingly, kissing his temple softly. “That was unfair to you, especially to just… ask that of you, if I could stay, I mean.”

“Y’got no idea how badly I want to say yes.” He’s holding back his sobs. You can tell by the way his voice sounds so strained, and how tensed up he’s become. “I ruined your life once, I… I can’t do that to ya’ again by keepin’ you here.”

“Gator, y’know you can always cry around me, right? You don’t have to hide any feelings around me.” You try comforting him. “Whatever your dad told you about emotions, and how it ain’t manly enough, he can go fuck himself. Nothin’ shows strength more than bein’ honest with yourself, even if it means cryin’ it out. You can let it out. You’re safe with me, Gator. Always.”

Hiccuping as he attempts to stop the weeping, his embrace around you is heart-wrenching; tense but tender, finding refuge in your hug, one that’s genuine with a kind of love and grace never shown to him before.

“You’re no loser, y’know that? I’ll remind ya’ every day ‘til y’believe it ‘cause it’s true. No one should have to grow up through the shit you have. No one should ever see what you’ve seen, not when you were just a kid, and not now. No one should ever be forced by someone to do such horrid things to others, just to earn love. No kid should ever have to earn the love of their parents. Ever.”

Any attempt to bring the crying to a gradual end are gone again, but you know he’s needed to release this pain for years, so you continue comforting him. Not once do you attempt to quiet him down, just let him feel what he’s needed to feel for so, so long.

In any other relationship, this dynamic would seem co-dependent, and possibly toxic. The intensity and passion that built so quickly between you two only works here because of your history together. In reality, it would destroy you if he left again, but he has the freedom and space to do so if he wanted. The same goes for you. At the end of the day, the two of you just want the best for one another, together or apart.

You just want the clouds to finally part for Gator, to finally let him feel safe in his own self, finally learn and hold onto the truth that there’s so much more to this life than trying to be good enough for his corrupt, disgusting excuse of a father. He’s good enough without Roy’s unreachable approval. He’s more than ‘good enough’. He’s got a good heart somewhere underneath it all, and just in the last ten days, he’s proven he can keep doing better. Gator can and already is turning things around, showing he’s a better man than Roy Tillman could ever be.

Right now, the two of you need one another, and it’s not a crime to be needy for all the appropriate reasons. It’s not a crime to be human.

“What’s here for you, Gator? What’s keeping you in North Dakota?” It’s an honest question, one you’ve had in the back of your mind since rekindling even a hint of a friendship with him days before you hooked up.

Gator’s attempting to slow his cries, unable to look you in the eye as he thinks for a moment. All he can come up with is a silent, weak shrug.

“Have you ever been happy here?” You’re not trying to convince or persuade him in any way, again it’s just an honest question. This one, though, never crossed your mind until tonight.

Still silent, Gator shakes his head.

Deep breath, then dive in.

“Come home with me.”

He lifts his head, finally finding the courage to look you in the eye. Your heart twists in agony at how broken he looks, but you know he needed to let that out, actually let himself feel for once.

“… Huh?” He stares in disbelief, wondering if the ringing in his ears from crying so hard made him misinterpret your words.

“Come home with me.” You repeat, brushing strands of hair from his tear stained eyes. “Come back to the city with me.”

A flicker of hope reflects in Gator’s eyes, but he’s shaking his head, doubt holding him back. “I… I don’t belong somewhere like that.”

“You think I felt like I belonged there when I moved? Or anywhere? Some lost, miserable kid without a plan other than to leave? It took time, and I was scared, but the fear was… refreshing, compared to the fear I had here, day in and day out.” You admit, hand cupping his face along his jawline. Gator leans into your palm, breaths shuddering as he continues to slow his crying. “I’m scared out of my fucking mind for you to stay here, especially knowing your dad. Even if you go somewhere else, even if you don’t go with me, please don’t stay here. You need to go somewhere safe.”

“Won’t ya’ get sick of me? Isn’t your place tiny? Not that I care about it bein’ fancy, or whatever, I just don’t— wouldn’t wanna suffocate ya’.” Gator wonders out loud, eyes searching yours for any hint of a doubt or regret for asking him to come with you.

“I’ve got a spare room y’can have. And there’s so much to see and do around the apartment, you could always go for walks to clear your head, or whatever. I do it all the time.”

“Oh… you have a roommate?” He assumes off your words, quickly explaining his question. ‘Cause I- I wouldn’t want to make it more crowded.”

“No way, I lucked out with my place. It’s the top floor of an old townhouse, pretty big overall, for New York, at least.” You huff out a quick laugh, shrugging. “I’m technically alone, but the landlady is really sweet, and I ended up makin’ friends with the other few tenants in the house. We’ve kinda all became a lil’ family of misfits, and it’s… nice. Feels more like a family than my own ever felt like.” You catch yourself mid-ramble, shaking your head with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, that was overwhelming. My point is, you’d belong too, Gator.”

He trusts you, but the voice of doubt in the back of his mind is loud enough to make him second guess. “You’re puttin’ a lot of faith into your friends to accept someone like me.” Gator murmurs. “What if I don’t like it there?”

“I… I can’t make you stay, I’d just encourage you to find somewhere else to go. Hell, I’d go with ya’ anywhere if it meant you were safe and happy... if that’s what ya’ wanted, of course. But it’s not safe for you here anymore, Gator.”

He’s quiet, lost in thought as he rests his head against your chest, sighing. “I’ve never lived anywhere else.”

You hold him close as you lay back down, pulling blankets over the two of you. “I know. It can be scary. So if you’re not into it, I just really think you should get out of here, at least. I can’t force you to do anythin’, and I don’t want to force you to do anythin’… but I do want ya’ to try to live a life you deserve, one that your shithead dad doesn’t dictate.”

“Yeah… guess that would be nice,” Gator cuddles up to you closer, tangling himself around you. The more he thinks about it, the fear of the unknown doesn’t settle much, but knowing you’d be by his side makes him believe it’ll be alright. “Are you sure you want a pain in the ass like me to live with ya’?”

“What am I? Not a pain in the ass to you?” You giggle, turning to face him. He looks so worn, but he’s calmer now, tears finally at their end. “Gator… I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t worried about ya’. And I wouldn’t worry if I didn’t care about ya. I just have one thing to ask of you if you decide to come with me.”

“Yeah, f’course, what is it?”

“Leave the hate behind. All that ignorant shit about anyone different from ya’. I know you learned it from your father, but it ain’t tolerated at my place, and for the most part, people don’t fuck with that mindset out there, either.”

Gator doesn’t deny it, doesn’t fight it, only nods and agrees. “Yes, ma’am.” He locks eyes with you before asking, “If I fuck up with anythin’, can y’call me out? There’s a lot f’me to change, so it might take some learnin’... But I don’t wanna be bitter like this forever.”

You stick a pinky out to him, and he laughs softly with an eye roll, hooking his pinky around yours. “Promise.” The two of you fall silent, gazing at one another, then a smile breaks on your face.

“So… is that a yes?” You suppress your smile from growing, not wanting to get your hopes up.

He’s raising a brow at you, feigning confusion. “Is what a yes?”

“You, comin’ home with me. Are you saying you’ll go?”

“Are you saying I’ll go?”

“Gator, I swear to God.”

“Now y’know how I felt the night you kept avoidin’ my question about you callin’ me cute.” Gator smirks, and it’s a much welcomed sight after witnessing how upset and pained he was.

“Okay, listen, Tillman,” You poke your finger into the middle of his chest, snorting and failing to keep a straight face. “Those are not even remotely the same!”

“I dunno… they were both pretty rough cliffhangers.” He’s shrugging as he makes his weak argument. “It wasn’t easy survivin’ that whole day without knowin’ how y’felt about me.”

“Gator, it was like, less than twenty-four hours before we fucked around.”

“Longest less than twenty-four hours of my life.” He sighs obnoxiously.

“Yeah, leave the dramatics here, too.” Gator flips you off, so you mirror him, giving him the finger right back.

He pushes that hand aside before mentioning, “Hey, y’know what I just realized?”

“That I’m the coolest and cutest person you’ve ever fucked?”

“What? No— wait, I mean— that’s not— yeah, you are, but that ain’t what I was talkin’ about. Don’t distract me.”

“Distract you? Like this?” You pull the blanket down to lazily flash your tits at him. He groans, but more in annoyance than anything. Giggling, you add, “Yeah, you’re definitely gonna get sick of me before I get sick of you.”

Ignoring the banter, Gator asks, “You mentioned that night we played ‘never have I ever’ that y’never had car sex before, right?”

“Yeah?” You’re confused as to why he’s bringing it up. “What does that have to do with any—“ He gives you a look, screaming “Really?”. It finally hits you. “Oh, it happened! How about that. Another thing to cross off the bucket list.”

“That was on your bucket list?” Gator’s unsure if you’re serious or not. You end up in a fit of giggles; yeah, you’re not serious. “Well, shit. I got excited, thought maybe there was more to do.”

You’re waggling your brows at him, “We can make a list.”

“Not if you’re givin’ me that look.” He’s shooting a stare of fake disgust, laughing through it anyway.

“Gonna give ya that look every time we fuck now.”

“I’ll put a paper bag over y’head or somethin’.”

“You’d go that far to still put your dick in me? Should I be honored or offended?”

Gator’s signature smirk is back, and it’s surprisingly a welcome sight after his necessary breakdown. “I’ll let ya’ figure that out on your own, darlin’.”

———

The two of you are dressed again, albeit, lazily, just wanting to get home and crawl into bed. Gator’s packing everything up when you look up at the sky, mesmerized all over again.

“Wait—“ you glance at Gator before looking up, admiring the stars hung with bright hope, holding wishes from others under the same sky, looking for a way out, looking for a new start. “I need to make a wish.”

Sunrise is in a few short hours, so the sky isn’t as deep and dark as it was when the two of you arrived, but it’s still dark enough to see the stars just fine.

Gator comes up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he rests his head on the top of yours, searching for a meteor along with you. Maybe, just maybe, you’d get lucky. You knew there’s always meteors falling, but they’re scarce when it’s not during a well known annual event, like the Perseids at the end of the summer, or the Geminid shower right before Christmas.

“Whoa—“ falls from your lips while Gator’s murmuring “That was fast.” because at the same time, the two of you notice a bright trail, flashing across the void of the night, illuminating for the briefest moment before fizzling out. You clamp your eyes shut, crossing your fingers as you silently make a wish. Gator’s watching you with amusement, noticing the way you cross your fingers on a wish the way your little sister did.

“Okay,” You turn to Gator in his arms, smiling. “We can go.”

He waits for you to continue, anticipation getting to him after only a few seconds. “Y’gonna tell me what you wished for?” He asks, curious. You pull on his hand, leading him back to the truck before looking back with a smirk.

“Can’t do that,” You tease with a wink, anticipating his inevitable eye roll. “I want the wish to come true.”

———

When the two of you got back to Gator’s place, the sun was up, and you both were practically crawling into bed, energy sapped by the late night date. By mid afternoon, you woke up, cozy next to Gator in his bed; you were the big spoon, for once, arms wrapped around his waist.

Looking at the clock glowing 3 PM, you were grateful your past self booked such a late return flight, at ten tonight; it turned out to be a better decision than expected, despite the inevitable jet lag you’d arrive back with.

“My lil’ backpack,” Gator murmurs, teasing you for spooning him while he pulls you closer, tugging you by your hands on his torso.

“Okay, Dora the Explorer.” You’re snorting as you hug him tighter. “M’gonna miss waking up next to your annoying ass.”

“We’re only gon’ be apart for like… a week. You’ll survive.”

“What if I don’t, though? Then what?”

“How were you calling me dramatic?”

You squish your face into his back, hugging him even tighter, groaning in disappointment; you’ve started to really like the banter between the two of you, especially when waking up. The way his teasing sounds while he’s shaking the gravelly, sleepy tone off his words is something you’ve really grown fond of.

“You sure you can’t just come with me tonight?” You know asking is fruitless, but it doesn’t stop the pathetic question from rolling off your tongue.

“M’sorry, darlin’. I wish.” Gator replies with sincerity in his few words. “There’s some loose ends I gotta tie here first. Gotta turn in all my gear, and shit.”

“Wait… really?”

“It’s not like I can be a cop for Stark County all the way out on the East Coast,” He chuckles, tilting his head back a bit to catch a glimpse of you. He’s too tired to turn around just yet. “I don’t think I wanna be one at all anymore.”

“Oh thank fuck. NYPD is corrupt as hell. I mean…. All y’all are, no offense. But NYPD cops are a whole ‘nother breed. Nasty fucks.” You grumble, but you’re relieved to hear he’s not interested in pursuing police work out in the city.

“Didn’t realize just how bad it was until my dad had me convinced I had to do all that fucked up shit to maybe earn his approval. I… I can’t be a part of that anymore. I can’t even try lyin’ to myself and say I’m helpin’ people. The power trip kinda got to my head, too.”

“Kinda?” You tease with a kiss to his shoulder, resting your chin into the crook of his neck. He knows no ill-intent is in your tone, but he can’t bring himself to laugh it off, either. “It ain’t easy to admit all of that and realize the impact it left on others. M’proud of you, Gator. You’re smarter and stronger than your dad would ever fuckin’ wish to be.”

He nods, trying to accept your encouraging sentiment, but it’s going to take time for him to believe words like that. “Thank you, darlin’.” He’s quiet for a moment before the realization crosses his mind; he has no idea what you do for a living. “Wait, what have you been doin’ out there? Why the hell am I just realizin’ I never asked?”

“Oh, like for work? It never came up, so I never mentioned it. But lots of odd end jobs over the years, honestly. Stripped for a while, walked dogs—“

“You? A stripper?”

“It was brief, and good money, but it conflicted with opening shifts at the bookshop—“

Gator finally turns around, jaw dropped at the first admission. “No, no go back. Wait— wait, bookshop? Okay, wait, forget that for a minute. Back to the stripper thing, you really did that?”

You’re self conscious under his watch, awaiting your answer. “I mean… yeah. It paid the bills, and it wasn’t easy, but I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t have fun most nights.”

“Only most?”

“Yeah, the nights when perverts got rough and rowdy were not very… fun. The bouncer was really protective over all of us, at least, so it never escalated to violence or anythin’—”

“God… just when I thought I knew ya’ again…”

You’re wincing, wondering if you should’ve kept it to yourself, “Please tell me that ain’t a bad thing.”

Gator shakes his head frantically, hands wrapping around you to pull you close. “No, shit, sorry, I don’t care what you do to make a livin’, as long as you’re safe. M’just surprised, is all. Goddamn, you’re too fuckin’ cool for me.”

You snort with an eye roll. “Not really, but thanks. Goin’ from stripping to opening the bookstore was quite the leap, but it gave me the money to start it up with a friend. It’s all used books, and the other half of the shop is all used records, that’s my friend’s side of the business.”

Gator was speechless. You really were nowhere near the same, shy, reserved girl he grew alongside with as kids. From the ground up, you created a new life for yourself, doing whatever the hell you wanted to be happy and safe. He had nothing but respect for you and all the hard work you’d done to get where you were today.

“We have some cats that hang out in the shop, too. They were some strays who constantly came in the first summer we had to leave the front door open before we got central air. I didn’t have the heart to kick ‘em out.”

“Ya’ always had a soft spot for those barn cats at your parents’ house, so I ain’t surprised.” He’s smiling, but not teasing; speaking warmly about how some things hadn’t changed with you. “You’ve always had a good heart.”

“Just doin’ what I can to help, that’s all.” You shrug, not in need of praise for something like helping another living being. It makes you think about what Gator did a few nights ago, helping Karen leave the ranch unscathed. “You do too, y’know. I know you never cared for Karen, but you helped her and those girls. That shows you’ve got a good heart too, y’know.”

His face softens, murmuring, “Just couldn’t watch her disappear the way my mom did. Karen’s not the nicest person, but no one deserves to just… vanish for… what? Bein’ a woman? It’s so fucked.” He starts to choke up, but shakes it off as best as he can. “Watchin’ my dad hurt my mom, then when she’s suddenly gone, he started hurtin’ Dot…” You’re caught off guard when he uses Dorothy’s new name, not Nadine. “At least she got away on her own, she’s safe now. But I couldn’t look the other way without tryin’ to make sure Karen knew she had a way out that wasn’t a—“

You knew what Gator was about to say.

To make sure she knew she had a way out that wasn’t in a coffin.

Even that, though, was a generous statement; if Linda was really dead, you knew damn well Roy had no respect to even give her, or any woman, a proper burial. Especially not when the cause of death was by his own hand.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I should’ve left that alone.” You’re apologizing while running your hands through his hair. He’s grown to love these little gestures of comfort you give, eyes fluttering shut as he takes a deep breath, calming himself before a storm can begin.

“Nothin’ to apologize for, darlin’.” Gator sighs, adjusting as he settles into the pillow, worn gaze landing on you as his eyes open again. He changes the subject before the overthinking about what happened to his mom can start up again, “How’s this doin’?” He tilts your face to the side, getting a better look at your bandaged wound. Everything’s intact for the most part, but there’s a slight sting when he touches the skin surrounding it; you wince at the soreness rippling through your face from the source. The bruising has only become more prominent, and the longer Gator looks at it, the more the anger towards your father builds inside him.

“I could fuckin’ kill that scumbag.” He murmurs, eyes locked on the damage left behind in your father’s fury.

Gator’s jaw clench as his mind replays the night you were hurt. He wishes he did more to keep you safe.

Gingerly, your hands wrap around the wrist of his hand that was inspecting your wound. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“It’s not.” His response is quick, snappy. It’s not directed towards you, he just can’t imagine letting this go. Gator wishes he didn’t hold back on the well deserved pain he inflicted on your father; no amount of pain and suffering would ever add up to what you were forced to feel under his misplaced anger and constant abuse.

“But it will be. He’s not worth your energy.” Your fingertips trace in soft, random movements on his arm. “It’s okay, Gator. He can’t hurt me anymore.”

“Damn right he can’t—”

“Promise me somethin’, Gator. While you’re still here, don’t go after him.” His arm drops to your hip, while you reach up to his face, cupping his jaw lightly. “Don’t get yourself in trouble before you come home. I need you safe. Let him rot in his own misery, all I want is for you to come home to me, safe and sound. Okay?”

Gator knows you’re right, he knows the smart thing to do is leave things be, focus on tying up loose ends before heading out east to you. None of that calms the rage within him, though, and you pick up on that with ease.

“Gator? Promise me that. Please.” Your voice cracks, but the intent stays firm.

He nods hesitantly, without a word. You can’t bring yourself to ask or push for a verbal promise, nor does he offer to give one. Because you both know it’s just one promise he can’t really keep.

———-

When you landed in North Dakota ten days ago, at best, you expected a quiet visit with your parents, escaping to your childhood room when things would inevitably turn turbulent with your father’s drinking. At worst, you braced yourself to come home with some new bruises from a fist always willing to land rough, raw punches on you, the human punching bag.

Why you picked ten whole days to stay, you’d never understand. Maybe you had the hope to rekindle whatever kind of family bond could be left. Maybe you were optimistic, that the time of year would set aside everyone’s differences. You hadn’t been home in nearly a decade, and you never really called or wrote home. It’s not like your parents cared to do the same either.

What you never anticipated was for a last minute decision to ditch you with Gator as both of your fathers decided to spend Christmas God knows where, hurting God knows who, all for the sake of a sick power trip and blood money. Even in your wildest dreams, you never thought you’d see the day where Gator Tillman actually made an effort to rebuild the bridge he burned.

Whether by fate or coincidence, the two of you were forced in the same proximity for longer than the three promised days, thanks to a blizzard you cursed for keeping you inside with your ex best friend, the one you still had a soft spot for. The one you were planning to ignore and avoid, until he owned up to the pain he inflicted on you, and how much he regretted it. What you believed to be a lapse of weakness and lust, turned out to be far beyond that. Once pissed off by the mere thought of Gator’s existence, not once did it cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, that the big and scary four letter word, would roll off your tongue so easily for this complex human.

Not once did you ever expect that Gator Tillman, the reason you left the Midwest, would become the reason you now dreaded the thought of leaving a decade later.

It had to be that damn wish ‘Lo made all those years ago. Thanks, kid.

“Y’got everything?”

The airport is calm this late at night, and the TSA line is practically non-existent. Your suitcase is checked in, and all that’s left is the goodbye the two of you have dreaded for days.

It’s smooth sailing from here... Except you can’t find the strength to raise the anchor back to the surface.

“Sure fuckin’ hope so. That’d suck to have to miss my flight if I forgot my wallet, or somethin’.” You’re trying to joke, keep things lighthearted, because you know this farewell is going to weigh heavy on you until Gator makes his way home to you.

Home. With Gator. It warms your heart, knowing it’ll be worth the wait for him to arrive in the city. For him to be finally safe and sound, with you, for good.

“How’s your face doin’?” Gator tilts your head, like he has countless times in the last two days, checking on your wound and the bandaging. “You gon’ be able to take care of it while I’m gone?”

“I think I can manage, but it’s gonna suck cleaning this fuckin’ cut without you babyin’ me.” You tease, setting off the usual playful eye roll from Gator as he pulls you into the tightest hug he’s given yet. “Please be good. I need you to be safe, Gator.”

“Just gotta pack my shit up, settle some bullshit, it’ll be a week, tops.” He rests his head on yours, hand slowly rubbing your back, while your arms are wrapped tightly around his torso, head tucked into his chest. “You don’t gotta worry ‘bout me, darlin’.”

“Yeah, well, too bad, the worrying comes with the love. It’s a two for one deal.” You pull back a bit to look at him, wondering how much longer a week will feel apart than when you’re together.

Gator pulls back further, reaching into the pocket of his jacket, before pulling out what looks like a sad, wimpy bundle of strings, tied in the messiest knots. He takes your hand, tying it onto your wrist, and that’s when you recognize it.

“How… how the fuck do you still have this?” It’s a friendship bracelet, a horribly made one from one of the many sleepovers you had as kids. The colors of the embroidery floss you stole from your mother’s sewing box were faded, fraying at the ends, knots already loose, threatening to unravel. “Gator, I- I don’t—“

“Never expected ya’ to save yours, not after the way I hurt ya’.” He makes sure it’s not tied too tight, but enough where it won’t slip off, either.

“No… I still have mine from you. At home. But I never had the heart to get rid of it.” You’re crying softly, rubbing the tears from your eyes quickly. “Your knots were always cleaner than mine,” that finally earns a genuine laugh from Gator.

“Keep that one safe, yeah? I’m gonna want it back when I come home, so y’can’t steal it.” He clutches the back of your head, kissing your forehead before glancing at the time near the board of arrivals and departures. “When does your flight board?”

You glance at the same clock he’s reading, “Fuck. Fifteen minutes.” You turn back to Gator, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. “I don’t wanna go.”

“I don’t want you to either, but I’ll see you sooner than ya’ think.” Gator’s voice cracks a bit; he’s scolding himself for getting choked up when he knows he’ll see you soon. He’ll be living with you soon. Start a whole new life with you cheering him on.

If he’s lucky, that is. He can’t tell you that, though. Not now.

“You gonna be brave for me, darlin’?”

You can only think to respond with a kiss, one that’s not long enough, but still carrying love, even if it’s just as clumsy as his kisses usually are.

“Only if you’re gonna be safe for me, Gator.”

That kills him inside. He has to promise this to you, he has to try his best to be safe, make it out unscathed. He can’t leave you high and dry, not again.

Gator sticks his pinky out to you, and you latch yours around his, squeezing tightly.

“Promise, darlin’.”

You step back, unhooking your fingers before forcing your feet to shuffle towards the security line. Looking back over your shoulder with a smirk, you giggle out, “See ya’ later, alligator.”

Gator’s face breaks into a dopey smile, flipping you off affectionately as he watches you walk away, hoping to God he can pull off this one last, completely reckless “job”, and make his way back to you, safe and sound.

If only you knew how heart-wrenching the next week would really be.

#gator tillman x reader #gator tillman x y/n #gator tillman x fem!reader #gator tillman fic #gator tillman smut #my fics #part time soulmate full time problem

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ageless-aislynn · 2 months

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Title: “15 Minutes” (9/?) Author: @ageless-aislynn Characters/fandom: Master Chief John-117/Reader, Halo the series Summary: You're in peril but don't be afraid, help is near. Series: How to date a Spartan (without even trying) Rating: T (PG13) Length: 2,568 (this chapter, 22,261 total so far) Spoilers: Set in the Silver Timeline of Halo the series, not the games or novels. Though we began with the events of Halo 1x06, there will be no more show spoilers. We are still firmly seated in the AU Warthog, merrily driving out to places where there’s only a passing nod to canon. 😉 Trigger warning: claustrophobia Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! 😉 A/N: Text is both here in this post or available at AO3, however you like to read. Halo season 2 has finally arrived! However, this fic continues to zip along in the AU Party Warthog, so, while we began with season 1 way back when (and you’ll see a few more things from s1 along the way 😉), we’ll not be venturing into s2 territory at all. Unless s2 is going to take some verrrrry interesting twists, lol! Chapter 10 is in progress by hand but I hope to have it ready soon. 🤞😣🤞 The tags have been updated for hurt/comfort starting with this chapter. If you read, I hope you enjoy! ⭐💖⭐

Taglist: @pinheadbanger @mysardencut @laurenstacy610 @sporadicbelievernightmare @ultrablackwidower @bxmxtx @jellotherelol

If you would like to be tagged in my John/Reader fics, just let me know! I also write John/Kai, John/Cortana and Kai/male Reader, so I’m glad to tag you for whatever you’d like. If you would like to be removed from the taglist, also feel free to let me know, no harm, no foul. 😉 💖

Halo fic masterlist ⭐

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

Trigger warning again: claustrophobia If you need to avoid the actual scene, skip the entire first section but there will be a lot of mentions of it again through the rest of the chapter, just so you're aware. I don't want to cause any distress to anyone so if you'd like a recap of what happens in this chapter, feel free to contact me here and I'm happy to oblige so you can stay in-the-know without reading something that could trigger a bad reaction. Stay safe, my friends! 🤗

You tried to gasp in a breath but there was a weight pinning you down. Smoke burned your lungs and your eyes. Your left arm couldn't move but you were able to bring your right hand up to wipe your face, trying to clear your vision. The only light in the rubble came from a shower of sparks a few feet away, emitting from a panel half-ripped from the wall. There was very little to orientate yourself by.

"Hello?" you tried to call but you couldn't take a deep enough breath to yell. The muffled ring in your ears told you that at least one of your eardrums had ruptured.

Evaluate, you thought in the tone you used when triaging patients, shoving down a wave of panic. You tried to squeeze out from under whatever was pressed across your back. No good, too much weight.

There wasn't a tremendous amount of pain but you worried at the numbness from your waist down, behind whatever was restraining you.

Evaluate.

You tested moving your legs, your feet, your toes. It felt strange but yes, you had movement.

Spinal cord potentially compromised but not severed, you diagnosed as clinically as possible.

Something overhead gave an alarming groan.

Alert help. Report your position.

"Hello? I'm by the crane operator booth. Can anyone hear me?"

You couldn't get the volume you wanted and you automatically tried to inhale deeper. You couldn't and had to fight another wave of panic. The animal part of your brain wanted to claw the twisted metal of the deck, trying to squirm free, but when you twitched, something above you groaned again.

You had no way to know how perilous the collapsed structure was. A wrong move could bring it all down.

A fresh wave of smoke irritated your nose and you coughed weakly. From far away, you heard the muffled sound of a woman saying your rank and last name.

"Here," you choked out. "I'm here."

A blue light shimmered a few feet away, the lower half of a blue-tinted woman, her upper body phased through the rubble. Then she shrank until she fit the space, adjusting like a camera lens. A hologram.

She repeated your rank and last name. "We have your location," she said, your damaged hearing distorting her voice. "Sit tight, a rescue crew is on their way."

You tried to respond but the smoke triggered more coughing, so you nodded.

"I'll stay with you for as long as the holo-emiter holds," she said, gesturing towards the ruined wall panel that continued to spark.

"Thank you," you managed to say. "Casualties?"

She glanced up and away as if receiving new information. "Reports coming in of injuries but no fatalities. Your alert gave enough time for almost everyone to get clear."

"Good." You made yourself slow your breathing down, taking shallow breaths since you couldn't take deeper ones. For a moment, your head swam and it felt like the floor tipped. Your fingers scratched for a hold on the crumpled metal.

The sound of your rank and name cut through the terror. "You're all right," the woman assured you. "You're not falling. Try to stay still. Silver Team will be back on site in a few more minutes. John will be here soon."

It gave you something to focus on other than bring trapped. The way she knew that the mention of John would comfort you, that she didn't call him Master Chief like most people did, even the mannerism of how she'd looked away, like someone was speaking in her ear...

"Your name wouldn't be Ms. Classified, would it?" you asked haltingly and tried to smile.

"That's... not inaccurate," she said and maybe it was your blurry vision but you could've sworn she gave you a fond smile, like she knew you. "I'm not supposed to tell my name."

You tried to say it was all right but couldn't draw enough breath.

"Ah, screw it," she said. "What are they going to do, fire me? My name is Cortana."

You must've blacked out because the next thing you knew, she was kneeling next to you, her small holographic hand resting atop your outstretched arm as she repeated your rank and name.

If you could get a breath, you needed a good, solid breath. Your chest instinctively fought to expand but couldn't beneath the pressure bearing down on your back. Something above you slid and the pressure abruptly worsened. You clawed, you fought, you struggled to breathe. To live.

"John, get here now! The support beam is failing!"

"Not his fault," you tried to say. "Tell him. Not his--"

Metal screamed and everything went dark.

You woke, grasping at nothing. You still couldn't get a deep breath but this time you were on your back and it felt like someone had laced a corset brutally tight around you.

"Easy there. You're all right," said a deep voice.

Your vision swam and then Spartan Vannak-134 appeared out from the dim lighting. You were still clawing at the air, trying to sit up, and he caught your hand a little awkwardly in his much larger ones.

"Where?" you gasped.

"You're back on Reach, in medical."

Once he said it, details emerged like a black and white picture filling in with color: the beeps of the monitors, the distinctive antiseptic smell. Your hearing was still deadened but not as much as before, meaning they had already begun healing therapies on your eardrums.

Anything you might've wanted to say dissolved like sugar on your tongue before the words could be spoken. Your head seemed too full. I'm drugged, you thought and that was the last thing you knew for a while.

Voices drew you from the murky depths and you tried to open your eyes but couldn't.

"Hold her hand," Vannak said in a quiet rumble. "She likes that."

A new hand gently folded around yours and your fingers instinctively gripped hold.

You woke, feeling the phantom press of metal bearing down on you, forcing the air from your lungs. You tried to sit up, your limbs flailed, uncoordinated and leaden. A second hand closed around yours and a feminine voice began to softly sing, a lullaby in a language you didn't recognize.

The room was blurry but you caught a glimpse of red hair -- Spartan Riz-028. You went under once more, dreaming of music that soothed your fears.

Later, there was a new voice to lure you up from the sticky darkness.

"Poor little thing. She looks so small."

"She'll heal. Hold her hand, it helps."

At some point, you jolted awake to find your hand cradled carefully within Kai's.

"Hey," she said, sitting up straighter in the chair next to the bed. "You need anything?"

Your head felt less stuffed with cotton than before but now that cotton seemed to have been transferred to your mouth. "Water?" you croaked.

She jumped up and returned shortly, carrying a cup with a straw in it. You intended to sit up but a searing pain in your ribs immediately convinced you that was a bad idea and you let her help you by holding the straw to your lips.

"Slowly," she advised.

Once you'd taken a couple of sips, you mumbled your thanks then promptly passed out.

You thought you'd closed your eyes for a brief moment but when they fluttered open, it wasn't Kai sitting in the chair, holding your hand.

As soon as John knew you were awake, he was on his feet, carefully brushing the fingertips of his free hand along the curve of your cheek.

You mouthed his name.

"Rest," he said. "I'm here. You're safe."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you truly felt as if you were. Your mind let go.

"And how's our favorite mech, the Hero of the Pit?"

"That's not a very heroic name," you confessed, smiling as Maria and then Jamie entered medical.

You were sitting on the side of the bed in generic gray scrubs, waiting for Dr. Savannah to give you final instructions before your release. It had been two days since the explosion. Your hearing had, thankfully, returned to normal. The rest of you... not so much but you were on the mend.

They both gave you careful hugs.

"You look a lot less like you were squashed by a building," Jamie said sincerely and Maria punched his arm. "Hey, that was a compliment!"

"Don't make me laugh," you begged, holding your left side. They'd fused your broken ribs back together but the tissue damage would take longer to resolve. Still, aches, pains, limited motion and all, you knew you were very lucky.

"I hope they're giving you a nice vacation, at least," Maria went on.

"I should be ready for light duty in a week."

"Technically, I said we'd evaluate you for light duty in a week," Dr. Savannah corrected as she entered. "Afraid your friends will have to catch up with you later."

They said their goodbyes and, as they left, you started to stand. The doctor quickly said, "No, you don't. I don't want you walking on that leg."

"It's not broken," you argued.

"Not anymore," she countered. "Stay put. I got you a ride."

"I don't need to be wheeled back to the barracks." You tried to keep your tone confident but the truth was even that little bit of exertion had left you feeling twinges all along your left leg. Your left shoulder throbbed with each heartbeat.

"Well, good thing you're wrong on both counts," she said, winking. "And here he is now."

John came through the door, dressed in his undersuit as if either about to head to the Brokkr stations to have his Mjolnir mounted up or returning from having it removed. You didn't even realize you'd moved to rise again until Dr. Savannah put a practiced hand on your good shoulder to keep you down.

"I'll be sending PT to you twice a day, starting tomorrow," she said. "They'll help you to get your strength and mobility back. Around that, rest. Catch up on your reading, watch some thoroughly trashy movies, and keep your feet up. Not too far up, though. Nothing too strenuous. Make him do all of the work."

That got you to look at her and she waggled her eyebrows.

John cleared his throat slightly, a faint but definite flush creeping up from his collar. "Yes, ma'am."

"All right, see you back in a few days, sooner if anything else develops. You know what to watch for."

It wasn't until she stepped back and John approached that it clicked.

"You're going to carry me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he repeated in a murmur that shivered straight down your spine.

Since your left side had taken the brunt of the damage, he put your right to his chest and cautiously picked you up in a bridal carry. Despite the care, being moved set a thousand things to hurting and your breath hitched as he straightened.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you said, your tone tighter than you would've liked. You thought, I hope nobody sees me being toted around like this, but, as soon as you left medical, you realized that no one was actually looking at you.

I think if Master Chief offered to drop me and pick up any marine, ODST or officer in this hall, they'd be hopping into his arms before I even hit the floor!

At the first turn he made, you realized the rest of it. "This isn't the way to the barracks."

"Nope," he said and you knew him well enough now to see the hint of a smile in his eyes.

You didn't have to wait for further clues, there was only one place, then, that he could be taking you. "How many strings did you have to pull for this?"

"Not as many as you might think," he demurred. "Your actions saved lives."

And they could've blamed you for failing to make sure a bomb hadn't been sent to the Pit in the first place. The curly tailed Warthog had been your responsibility, after all. You'd been curtly informed of all that when they'd debriefed you the first day you'd had your eyes open for more than 15 minutes.

You doubted they'd told that to John, though.

When you reached his room, he maneuvered so to get his thumb on the panel without jostling you too much. The lights came on as he took you through the doorway and then he paused.

"Kai," he rumbled, shaking his head. "She said studies show people heal better with color. I should've known she'd overdo it. Say the word and I'll have her in here clearing this out."

"It's your room," you said, "but personally, I love it."

The duvet on the bed and the pillows on the couch were now a rainbow of jewel tones. A tapestry with a field of sunflowers dominated the wall at the foot of the bed and you could've sworn there was a dusting of diamond glitter shimmering on every wall, sending tiny holographic rainbows through the air in all directions. But the main thing that caught your attention was overhead.

"She put up stars," you said, brightening.

"Ah, that one was actually me," he confessed. "You seemed to really like those in her room so I thought..."

You stretched up in his arms, inhaling a little sharply at the stab of pain in your left side, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love them, John. Thank you."

A short time later, you found yourself lying on the bed in the darkened room, looking up at those stars. John had profusely apologized for not being able to stay after getting you settled in. He'd turned down the bed so you wouldn't have to, had put your padd close at hand on the nightstand to the right along with a bottle of water and a couple of emergency ration packs in case you got hungry before someone bought you a meal. He'd even procured you a set of unthinkably soft civvies to change into, exactly your size and in your favorite color.

You couldn't imagine that a Spartan had ever taken care of a sick or wounded person before, other than in a battlefield triage situation, so he'd probably found a checklist from somewhere to guide him. His earnestness to make sure he'd done everything right sent warmth flooding through you.

Before he left, he'd paused to kiss the top of your head.

"You know," you said, lifting your chin, "my lips aren't broken."

He hesitated. "The last time I did that, an entire base fell on you."

"Only the warehouse part," you said dismissively, "and there was absolutely no correlation, I promise."

He tried to smile at that but his eyes still showed concern.

"I promise," you repeated more seriously and he exhaled as if about to make a tremendous leap. His kiss was so soft and gentle, it was barely more than a whisper against your mouth.

Once he had left, you'd considered taking Dr. Savannah's advice and watching a holo, reading something on your padd, or doing any number of things to pass the time but ultimately, you'd wanted to appreciate his handiwork.

After all, it wasn't just anybody who could say a Spartan had literally hung the stars for them.

#halo #halo the series #halo paramount+#master chief x reader #x reader #john-117 x reader #fic: 15 minutes #series: how to date a spartan without even trying #ageless aislynn #aislynn's fics #aislynn's fic

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