#but jsut. i feel so fucking shit

[dizzybizz]

KAEYA BIRTHDAY ??? ?? i love you mr alberich sir i love you oh so so so much.

uh dialogue for this one but more legible under the cut (and a messy ragbros page)

Klee: Kaeya! Come down here! Kaeya: Oh? heh. What is it, Spark Knight?

Klee: Happy Birthday! It is today? Right? I even double-checked with Albedo and everything but I don't know... Klee: It's a Calla Lily! You like those, right? Kaeya: I certainly do! Thank y- Klee: Oh. Klee: OK OK OK- Kaeya: Hm? Klee: Kaeya you have to promise to not tell Master Jean about this one! Kaeya: You can count on me to keep my lips sealed.

Klee: OK! Close your eyes- eye- and hold out your hands! Kaeya: Mhm! Klee: OK! You can open them! TA-DA~!

Klee: I made a bomb for you! It even has an eyepatch! He can look after you when I'm somewhere else. Take good care of him! Oh yeah- He explodes if you- Kaeya?

Kaeya: Thank you Klee! Thank you very much! Klee: You're VERY welcome Kaeya!

a lil ragbros too.... kaeya and his red siblings amirite (bursts into tears).. also i am so obsessed with chibi diluc saying "bring em in..."

#I LOVE YOU KAEYA #these were all drawn in the past two daysashhsdgg #i was originally planning on starting like at least a week in advance bc i wanted to do one big ambitious piece but that didnt end up happe #ing... instead he gets a little comic a bigger comic and a page and my undivided attention #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #genshin kaeya #im putting em all in here f u #klee #diluc ragnvindr #ragbros #none of that kaeluc shit here alright thank you or go fuck off ok epic #my art #sona #these r all improvised. i went about the klee comic in the stupidest way possible bc apperantly i love making things hard for myself.. #not like it was my fault- it was just supposed to be a concept for a finished piece and not turn into a little comic but i have no self con #rol clearly so now its here and i am jsut kinda sleepy sry #kaeya has been my genshin blorbo for over three years ok i needed to express a little of my feelings about him somehow #OK YAY ITS OFFICIALLY THE 30TH IN MY TIMEZONE SO I CAN POST THIS OK OK YEAH #HAPPY BDAY KAEYA AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭💖💖💖 #this entire post is just me sobbing over how much i adore him #is this the longest wall of notes from me yet.. idk but it might be #ok anyways i love kaeya a lot send me anything kaeya and i will love you forever and ever and i should really go to sleep now i think #... .kaeya 🥰🥰🥰

[ghul-wein]

Does anyone have good footage from any Ghost live shows, particularly w/ a good focus on Rain playing??? Special girlguy on my mind today but also for bass practicing!! I think it’d help to be able to watch his hands,,. Not even think actually, i know. Esp since he plays w/ a pick and I Do Not usually do (<- plays everything w/ nails & plucking)

#ghul.txt #not impossible either to play all that shit and get that tone either just doing fingies but #we are learning things! ! #i really jsut wanna see Rain play he is so pretty and the bass lines are so good all the time #i tend not to like to watch live performances bc I get wicked Fomo then feel funky. but warming up to getting cozy watching them #rain ghoul #rain ghost #nameless ghoul #water ghoul #ghost bass #whatever the fuck else #the band ghost #ghost

[l0gitex]

normal normal normal it’s normal we’re normal and it is fine. lookat my tags boy.

#gaalee #naruto #gaara #rock lee #so okay #first of all shoutout twinvenus my other half and i are the master geniuses of gaalee worlds #okay=? #so #our shared truth of our beautiful minds abt these two is #gaara begins to feel shit and for one he cannot process it for two he cannot [normal-style] express it #so what ends up happening #because hes gaara and hes fucking strange #is he does just some absolute WEIRD intense almost threatening shit #wordlessly #jut like this and the post twinvenus made u know the ones #its literally such strange shit it is impossible to mention for lee or anyone that happens to be unfortunate enough #to bear witnss #(definitely happens that kankuro and/or tenten do btw. many times.) #it jsut keeps happening #gaara gets normal on this once they are like Actually 'Close' bc he gets the closeness in a regular way but #for aa long time before #its just #this #oaky? #thanks #now bye #wait one more thing gaara has 0 thoughts in that head of his ANY OF THE TIMES he does these things #he does not thnk about it in the slightest before during or after or ever #he just does. #no think.

[sensitivedead]

my partner is going to be looking for a part time job (wfh atm) and im bawling at my job bc i dont want us to have conflicting schedules bc if we do im going to be so fucking alone at the apartment and i cant deal with myself alone

#im so worried #i am just #i do not want to be alone i am not ok being left alone #bad shit always happens and i always get left alone #and forgotten and idk just i cant fucking bear it #shutup sensitive #god #im jsut #bruh #and i fucking #changed my life and it was just fetting better #it was juuust tfndndnf i moved away two yesrs ago and i jsut #i dont have a good feeling about this #uuuuugggh

[mainfaggot]

literally getting choked up rn tears prickling my eyes we are so back i love you tomorrow by together. the parasocialisms got me good honestly theyve got me in a chokehold

#this is the longest I've ever ulted a boygroup #this may marks 4 years ... #the mv was so beautiful and the song was giving old school slash somewhat emo vibes it was really fucking good #i loved the layers in the instrumental and the visuals were like. so tumblr 2016 but tastefully so Lol #i want to cry that was so beautifully shot we really are so back. i love the txt lore being so crucial for this cb and the cinematography #in general went crazy to me like it wasn't anything overly complex but it was still so aesthetically cohesive #im jsut saying words atp yeah #but no its not even like ill praise anything txt puts out bc i qas so painfully underwhelmed by chasing this feeling and that mv in general #like the album was solid but i couldn't care less abt the music video or the title and the aesthetics were so mediocre #but this time. holy shit we r so back like this is the txt i started stanning when i was 16 #z.post

[prolibytherium]

Watching Wojack Horseguy for the third time and it is still so fucking good and still really annoys me in many ways

#Which has absolutely cemented my art/writing block because I am way too focused on Bojangles Horsedude #I think one of the annoyances for me is honestly just that like... It's Wacky Hijinks to Serious Business extremes sometimes feel like #distinct modes and not so much like places on a spectrum #Not that there can't be moments of pure dark sincerity and pure goofy shit but. YKWIM probably. #IDK I appreciate when dark comedy finds ways to make the comedy and horror/tragedy/etc occur simultaneously and be the same things #Which the show definitely does a lot of the time but not quite enough for my specific tastes sometimes... Though I did #absolutely love the last 3 seasons and I'm jsut getting to them again now #The first time I watched it I was kind of just tired of seeing the guy fuck up in pretty much the same ways repeatedly (Fully understood #that was the point. Still annoyed me) but this time I'm like yayyyy wooohoo yayyyyy. Though we'll see if I get tired again #eventually...

[transinniter]

just how pathetic is it that im pretty sure this is the most upset ive been about anything . ever. tahts fucking pathetic lmao

#i had a fucking tag. a fucking tag called wilbur loveposting. #my most popular post is about wilbur. ccwilbur. #i dont give two shits about the notes obviously my point is like. i dont know what my point is. 3 years #3 fucking years it's been the 1 place in my brain or online where i can go and its safe and in my brain no one can touch it #and now its all fucked because apparently its too hard for some people to not be abusive pieces of shit #and i think the anger is kicking now which thank god for #but im just so angry like. i thought it was different #i thought with how sincere he seemed every time he apologised about something and how he wanted to be held accountable #that like . it would be fine. thats probably parasocial of me #im jsut. 3 years of so much of my time and passion. and i dont regret it thats not the point . i just. the fact that it has to end like thi #im still in shock it still doesnt feel real. this was supposed to be the 1 good thing no matter what for fuck's sake #FUCK.

[dinitride-art]

hey fisher. thanks for ripping my heart out with that one post

I’m gonna assume this is about the s3 hug gif post. Listen, they didn’t have to make it like that and then hit us with the airport scene. And then s4 is Nancy telling Steve that they aren’t babies anymore and the kids learning about real relationships and feelings. And Lucas and max being like that and planning a date but it feels different from the times before because they’re old enough to start to realize that they mean something to each other.

And then there’s Mike and Will and they’re doing the same thing and realizing what their feelings are and what they mean and struggling. And Mike and Will, for the first time, are distancing themselves from each other emotionally and physically because they’re too old to not know what everything means. And they’re fighting about not keeping contact with each other and they’re trying to be normal and keep a safe distance and be as close as they’re allowed to be and find these new lines that they aren’t allowed to cross. And they can hold a phone at the same time and grab each other when they’re getting shot at but they can’t hold hands just to hold hands like they did when Will was possessed and they can’t be close to each other for longer than they’re allowed to be. But they keep gravitating towards each other and stepping back and forwards and they can’t fully step towards each other because they aren’t allowed to anymore but they can’t pull away because they need each other and they can’t help it. And Will can only reach out to Mike and put his hand on his back to tell him that he’s the heart, to tell him that he needs to save El.

Everything after that scene in season three is different. They’re kids still but they’re too old to not notice what’s allowed and what’s not. They’re starting to realize what real feelings are and what people mean to them. It all changes because Mike and Will can’t not notice their own feelings. They know what they mean now. They know that it’s not allowed. They’re so fucking scared. But they’re also really brave. Will makes Mike a painting, and while it might not go as he originally planned, he still tells Mike what he wanted to say. Even if he says it isn’t from him. And Mike’s questioning his and El’s relationship. He’s been pushing back against making it more serious, saying I love you, and he doesn’t give in when him and El fight about it. He’s trying so hard to be who he is, to be a good person, while protecting himself from what could happen if he was honest with her. They’re both figuring out how much they can have without being in danger. And this was all set up by the end of s3 with that hug. And hoppers letter voiceover. And the Byers moving. And castle byers being destroyed and the rain fight and all of it. Because they’re figuring out who they are now. And that changes everything,

And if they’d just hugged at the airport like normal I wouldn’t have had to write that addition to that post (or… all of this lol)

#uh this is mostly me rambling about s4 #but I… am sorry #for the psychic damage I may have caused with that post lol #whoops #I’ve just got a lot of thoughts about them okay #I didn’t mean to write three paragraphs about this #it just happened #because the shift happens at the end of s3 #from Mike and Will being normal to mike and Will being on a sad-confusing-gay-emotional road trip in s4 #like theyre keeping their distance and trying not to touch each other and they’re being weird #and everything is a mess and wills trying his best and mikes kinda falling apart a little #and this is really the start of mike and Will’s relationship going beyond just caring very deeply for each other #like come s5 if I have to pinpoint where their romantic feelings really start coming into play it’d be the start of s4 #the airport #that’s where they’re like- I have a painting to give and oh fuck wills right there oh shit oh no auuuuuuggghhhhhh- #and it’s so different from s3 because of the realization of everything and what that actually means #and them starting to fully realize what these feelings and what being queer means for them #beyond jsut knowing that it’s bad and something they shouldn’t be. #because now they are. and now they’re different #and now they’re really staring to be scared. and they’re also staring to really need each other. and it’s so complicated #and that s3 hug… it was all so much simpler when they didn’t have to think about what it all meant

[wibble-wobbegong]

could a more perfect man exist

#i love him so fucking much #he helped me cook pasta over the phone and was so sweet about it the whole time and he’s so silly :(((( #pasta with seasoned marinara and parmesan cheese is fine dining in this house considering everything is expired ir we dont have it #no bread no eggs no tortillas nothing i could throw some cheese on and call a meal #we had spaghettios totinos pizza lettuce cheese and canned beans #i try not to make anything i dont know for sure i can make bc im bad at cooking #or we just. dont have the ingredients #most of the time we just dont have the ingredients to make things bc my mom is My Mom and kinda shit at feeding us #so i never learned how to cook beyond the basics #but he was so sweet and helped me make pasta #he said im gonna get fat in the future when we live together because we’ll have good food and snacks and shit #i always feel bad when he comes over and we dont have food bc im used to just looking at the stock and realizing its either disgusting #expired or Lettuce so i just. dont eat. but i dont wanna do that to him #and he’s jsut #djnejrbskdbsjhks :(((( #i love my boyfriend #dear diary

[selfshipping-haven]

i think i just wont interact with any fandom ever :)

#i'm honestly sick of seeing f/o related posts that fucking enrage me like #i just want to see more dark choco content not rancid takes THANK YOU VERY MUCH #i'm so sick of the way fandom just. boils things down. or ignores things #and god. the ships #i jsut don't like seeing a lot of them okay #everyone and their grandma ships carachoco and i feel like i'm the only one #who thinks it's platonic #and not only that but wierd to ship them???? #there are some fandoms i'm just afraid of #looks over at my one f/o's fandom that bullied a child and another man to near suicide #not fucking with that shit!

[ozymoron]

i wish every trans person could have the experience im having with the medical staff im going to to get hrt theyre all so nice and the doctor i went to to get hrt gave it to me on the second appointment why cant this be what every trans person gets to experience

#⚠️ #like after years of searching for a doctor who would give a fuck about me and not jsut run around in circles around actually giving me hrt #this shit feels so fucking good #it feels great to be treated like an actual human being who can make his own decisions for once #i wish all doctors and medical staff were like this everywhere #personal

[arundolyn]

You. Thoughts on uni2 story content?

admittedly i havent played the Most bc ive been recovering from getting my teeth yoinked and fighting game takes too much brain power atm BUT. confused as to why theres no proper story mode like chronicle was in cl-r, as for arcades- intrigued by linne's specifically and tbh kinda happy about it. enk's is SO...... BITING HIM. CARMINE'S IS FUCKING BONKERS BUT HONESTLY I CAN'T SAY I EXPECTED ANY LESS FROM HIS CRAZY ASS

overall. in general. Tonally. the Finality of it feels. not. actually? there? really? it seems arbitrary. it's hard to have actual like. how do i put it. meat. of a story. without a real story mode. like all we get are arcades??? both from a storytelling standpoint and also like ALL the promo material it kinda falls flat on what was promised, or at least Implied. i was literally streaming it for my bf day 1 and when i opened the game one of the first things i said was "wait there's no actual story mode option?" to have such heavy emphasis on how this is the End this is the Last one For Real feels forced when we haven't had any legit buildup to that point and even in the game itself aside from cliche anime vague dialogue about how This Needs To End and whatnot it doesn't narratively convey this all that effectively

like personally im not all that . idk. disappointed? by that bc i still need to catch up on chronicle mode from cl-r and haven't had time/focus to do so buuuuut... like. idk it feels weird now? why'd they throw chronicle into the middle game and now leave the supposed last one hanging. especially when theres a lot of loose plot threads that arent getting delivered on adequately, and by the fundamental nature of arcade modes in fighting games none of them are exactly fully 100% for real canon because there's a lot of contradictions so........ what does actually happen. kuon dies yeah sure that was his whole thing and kinda the whole conceit of this game sure sure whatever but like what ELSE? esp with carmine's arcade being so tonally weird the whole time and him talking about how he's dying anyway like SURE IN HIS ENDING HE GOES FULLY APESHITT BUT LIKE WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM FOR REALSIES DOES HE JUST DESPAWN?

all this aside its fun and i like it and all howwwwever there is a slight sense of like.. barring system rework and ui updates it feels like this could just be cl-r dlc of kaguya tsurugi and kuon and not a hell of a lot would change overall?

#cawing #Anonymous #i straight up thought i was jsut missing a menu option or something but like HELLO! #or maybe that if i finish everyones arcades it would show the true ending like old blazblue but uh... sure doesnt seem taht way huh #like dont get me wrong i love corny fighting game shit but at the same time like #in some ways these feel like the shallowest fg arcades ive ever played save for the ones in continuum shift #and at least cs had a gimmicky excuse for why there was only really much of consequence in like. 4 of them #AND additionally had character story modes as real plot so its not like they NEEDED the arcades to be that substantial #and they werent historically until cp bc everything got condensed into one major storyline #which i would be fine if unib took that route but it just. idk doesnt seem like they wanted to commit to that?? #uniposting #like i love the game love kaguya love kuon love my blorbos buuuuuut its a bit lacking. just a bit #kuon is fun to play but damn did this justify a whole game #also minor gripe but im salty they dotn give the option of past themes. i was so excited when i saw the themes in the gallery #but no. you can just Play them. fuck off #whoops that got long lmao. never ask my opinion on anything worst mistake of my life

[illuminala]

my dad "you gotta learn how to stop thinking ahead" WHAT DO YOU THINK IVE BEEN DOING THESE PAST 2 YEARS IN THERAPY??????

#nala talks #AAAAGAGGGHHH #all i said was that i couldnt sleep well because i stay up at night worrying i wont be well rested the next morning #because these kids are so fucking loud sometimes??? and my mom is too because the kids stress her out?????????? #I TRY TO SLEEP EARLY BUT IM LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF IT WITHOUT FUCKING MEDS #im naturally sleep around 12 i cant help that #but these days its either 1 or 2 am now because nighttime is the only time i feel genuinely relaxed #because its the only time the house is fucking QUIET #anyways. my thinking ahead literally only extends to this fucking sleep deprivation ive had for how many fucking years my niece has #been alive #and its gotten worse with my nephew here #besides that i do think ahead about my streaming but thats A GOOD THING #i dont give a shit about anything else #i jsut want things to go back to normal

[bylertruther]

i’m gay and look in the mirror every day and yet this is still the gayest shit i’ve ever seen in my life

#bro. like BROOOOOOOO..... RELACKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHILL !!!!!!!!! GET UP OFF THE FUCKIN FLOOR !!!!!!!!!!!! #HTIS IS NOT WILL'S ROOM ANYMORE UR IN A VAN WITH TWO OTHER PPL MICHAEL #they were filming for that long and used THISSSSSS shot and u wanna tell me this guy wasn't thinking abt smooching will . #wasn't thinking abt his boy bestie his guiding light the sun to his moon #ur telling me tht he wasn't zoned the fuck out thinking some gay shit trying to keep himself together while will is jsut #fucking . attacking him with his gay love #his relentless sweet love and subjecting him to the not-so-mortifying-after-all-when-it's-you ordeal of being known #ur telling me tht mike is straight. ur telling me tht the feelings are not reciprocated despite the fact tht he looks at no one else's #lips like tht bro. ENOUGH WITH THE LIESSSSSS #will is in the middle of a love confession and mike is LOOKING AT HIS LIPS? FOR WHAT IS NOT THE FIRST TIME? #HELLO. THEY ARE NOT REAL THEY ARE CHARACTERS IN A STORY HAS NO ONE IN THE GENERAL AUDIENCE EVER SEEN #A FUCKING . ROMANCE MOVIE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING #WHY IS IT STRAIGHT WHEN MIKE DOES THIS BUT IT'S ROMANTIC WHEN NANCY AND JONATHAN DO IT. DIE #DBFKJHSBDKJFHBSKDJ I'M TIRED I CAN'T TAK EIT ANYMOREEEEEEEEE GE TME OUT OF THIS HELL #MISCOMMUNICATION TROPE PLEASE DIE N MAKE WAY FOR CONFESSION AND MUTUAL PINING AND EVRYTHING ELSE #(im normal btw) (inca se u were owndering i am very normal abt byler thank u)

[aromanticannibal]

sont hold me accountable for a thing because if the meds my mom is bringing don't work I might actually start going crazy

#this is the beginning of a nosleep reddit post #no bc it's incredible bc since I feel so shit I can't sleep I don't drink much because THE FUCKING TASTE OF THE WATER KS BAD (???) #and food is growing increasingly unpleasant to think of #there is one thing I want to eat and it's better whne my mom makes it so I'm jsut #dying. on my oxucj

[jamesdotmp3]

rare (actually very common) james vulnerability post um im kind of hating having bpd right now. i reeeeally really hate how the smallest thing completely sets me off and i HATE gettinf close to people and then having to hit them with the “btw if i get even the slightest feeling you dont like me or that im being replaced i absolutely will not confront it directly and will instead opt to just never ever speak again and be mad for 6 months straight” and its cost me a lot of close friendships! i’m in therapy and i am on medication and i have been for months but for some reason it’s just ??? not working??? i dunno but im feeling very Not great tonite james nation 💔 sighs soo hard and goes back to drawing star trek yuri

#jamesdottxt #i jsut want to be normal tbh #its so embarrassing #getting close to people and then realizing its Too close #and suddenly your entire day revolves around how theyre feeling/what theyre doing #i really wish that i didnt have to be like This #because once i get mean and i start freaking out people tend to drift away and find other people #and its like Oh i really am the problem #but whats the point of recognizing youre the problem when… youre the problem lol like im not purposefully staying like this #and im trying to get better #but at what point does it start being pathetic #i hate freaking out over the smallest shit #and losing sleep because of overthinking #ive fallen out with um. Both of my favorite persons in the past few months #one of them was lowkey a predator and the other one. man idk what the other one even did #he didnt do anything #i jsut kind of sucked i think #but yeah . being fp-less and only having a very select few friends is FREAKIN ME OUT!!!!! #you’re nice to me? I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE NOW! AHA! #embarrassingggg…. #but um real talk i would so love to be able to maintain relationships properly without fucking it up so bad because of my outbursts #sighs so hard. the only thing that can fix this is drawing self insert x hughie campbell yuri #back to the coal mines (drawing program) i go #ant with bindle image #bpd #tw vent #personal vent #rare james vulnerability post #vent