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#but it's GRANDMA so i can't do anything about it
xxmaxwellxx · 2 days
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Hello! Sorry for the delay but I’ve finished my first Yandere oc fanfic! Writers block and anxiety are a pain. Anyway, this is my first fanfic and I’m a tad dyslexic so forgive me for any mistakes! Please let me know if I missed anything with the trigger warnings and sorry for the formatting issues, I wrote this on my laptop. Also please give me constructive criticism and feedback! I’d like to start a blog dedicated to my writing and fanfic so any help is appreciated!
Tw: stalking, obsession and general Yandere behavior.
Gn reader (referred to with they/them pronouns)
Today was a nightmare, we had at least fifty customers during the lunch rush and what's worse is that a guy came in and was sitting at the same table for five hours and only left 30 minutes before closing, the clattering of plates echoing behind me as I wipe down his table, my body feeling like concrete, but I'm forced to keep going. Something crinkles and falls to the ground. Picking it up, I see it's a recipe with (XXX)-XXX-XXXX ‘call me ;)’ on the bottom. I let out a sigh, wading it up and throwing it in the garbage. Of course, he would do that. The guy who refused to leave was also a creep. Just as I'm about to leave, I notice a shadowy figure lingering outside the café, their gaze fixed on me. A chill runs down my spine, but I shake it off, attributing it to the exhaustion of the day. “Hey, I'm going to head out! Could you lock up for me?” I call out to Delilah, the nice old woman in the back. I grab my stuff after she responds in the affirmative. The bell ringing as I head out. I walk to the same bus stop I take every day, the last bus picking me up so often that the bus driver knows me by name.
Sitting down on the bench, I pull out my phone, scrolling through insta. A post from a famous influencer, a post of someone's dog in a newly knit sweater, someone advertising their small business. Just what you'd expect to see, but what I didn't expect was someone sitting next to me. I glance over at them, he’s wearing a white hoodie, sweatpants and sneakers. Nothing out of the ordinary except for his face, what was up with his face? Sunglasses? Why was he wearing sunglasses at night? He turns his head and I quickly turn away and look back at my phone, but I can feel him staring at me, practically burning a hole in the side of my head. I shrink into myself a little, his gaze never leaving me. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, but I can't make out his expression, his face completely obscured by a surgical mask. Should I speak up? Why was he just staring? Was there something on my clothes? Do I offend? The bus screeches to a halt in front of me, and I jump to my feet, quickly hurrying into a seat. Jeremy, the bus driver, gives me a weird look but doesn't say anything. I see the man board the bus, and I hope that he won't sit anywhere near me. That hope is instantly shattered when he stops in front of me. He's tall and intimidating. The light shines off his long black hair, creating a shadow over his face as he looks down at me. I can feel dread knotting up my stomach, I want to cry. I didn't even notice the tears gathering in my eyes, he holds something up, but I can't see it. I blink, the tears fall and I realize he's holding up my bag, “You forgot this.” his voice is low and gravelly like he just woke up. “Oh, thanks.” I say quietly, quickly taking my bag from him.
I look away, turning my gaze out the window, suddenly finding the passing cars more interesting than whatever he was doing at the moment. “I like your apron.” I side eye him, he's staring at me again. I didn't humor him with a response, “Where did you get it?” he's not going to stop talking, is he? “My grandma made it for me.” it wasn't anything amazing, just a blue and white striped apron with a cute rubber duck on the pocket. “It's very cute.” I hum in response, trying not to engage. Trying not to give him fuel to keep going. But despite my efforts, he does.
“I like your hair.”, “Where do you work?”, “How was your day?”, “Do you like work?”, question after question. A never ending string of words. I try to ignore him, to not give him enough to keep going. But he does. The bus stops, and I stop tuning him out to jump up, remembering to grab my bag, and hurry off the bus and away from him. I speed walk to my apartment building, up the side stairs and to my door. I reach into my pocket and I don't feel anything. My heart speeds up as a cold sweat covers my body. Where's my keys? I start to hyperventilate as I check my clothes. My front pockets, back pockets, apron pocket, shirt pocket. They aren't there. They aren't anywhere. I could have sworn I took my keys out of my locker. Did I drop them on the bus? Did they fall out on the sidewalk?
I let out a scream when I feel a hand on my shoulder, whipping around I see the man from the bus and I suddenly have something much bigger to worry about. I open my mouth to scream, at him, for help, I don't know, when he holds up my keys. The fluffy blue pompom and rubber duck keychains bouncing from how fast he lifted them. “I’m sorry, but these fell out of your pocket.” our hands brush as he quickly hands me my keys and speed walks down the stairs, he makes to the bottom and I shout a “Thank you!” after him. Maybe I judged him too quickly.
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They touched me. I can't believe it, they touched me! I can't believe I've at last managed to approach them, emerging from the shadows where I've lingered for so long. Turning the corner, I slide down the wall, quietly giggling to myself because oh my god they touched me! The streetlight over head flickers as I put my hand over my mouth in an attempt to muffle the laughs that are bubbling up and out of my mouth.
I followed them out to the bus stop they sit at every day, they're so beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off them. They left their bag by the bench, I don't know why, but they seemed freaked out and left in a hurry. Poor thing must have had a horrible day, worse than I thought, if they're that anxious. I was taught to be nice, people like it when you're nice, so I brought them their bag. They looked so cute when they looked up at me. What wasn't cute was the tears gliding down their cheeks. My stomach was in knots as I handed them their bag. I hate seeing them cry, so I did what helped me. I asked them easy questions, trying to distract them from whatever was making them cry. They must have been really sad because they were giving short answers. As the bus came to a stop in front of their apartment building, I slipped their keys out of their pocket. Maybe a happy accident would cheer them up, even if it was artificial. My voice was stuck in my throat as I followed them off the sidewalk, my heart was beating rapidly as I followed them up the stairs. They're looking for their keys. Fuck. No turning back now. I can't be a coward now, I grab their shoulder and they scream. I look so creepy, god, just say something! “I’m sorry, but these fell out of your pocket.” I sounded like I total loser, but sounding like a loser was better than them fearing me, even if for a moment. It felt heavenly when our fingers brushed against one another, their voice like an angel when they shouted thank you. If only they'd let me hold their hand, walk them home, kiss them goodnight. But this will have to do for now.
I'll see you again soon, my love.~
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aroaceleovaldez · 10 months
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doodle page from a couple months ago of Nico having way too many immortal friends
also yes i did just use Nyx’s Hades design. it’s a good design.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#let's see if i can't not crosstag while explaining this woo#okay so top l > r: my hc about Nico in Tartarus for the longest time (and tbh still is)#was that the like Singular Break he got down there was taking a nap in the Palace of Night#and that N and Achlys just think he's Neat. they didnt really help him but they didnt hurt him either#more of just let him crash on the sofa#i refuse anything about pjo's version of N. reject your canon and substitute my own#anyways then his parents then Hest#< feels weird shortening her name but yknow. struggling not to crosstag here#then Cupid (i dont think i have to worry about crosstagging there) cause i like the hc that Nico is one of his fav mortals#and they both DO chill out with each other eventually. or are at least chill sometimes#cause it's Nico literally grappling with the literal physical manifestation of the concept of romantic love#so once he sorts that out theyre chill. if nico has a bad romance day he shows up like ''bitch lets get u some ice cream''#then Demet Arte and. well he's labeled.#i think the dynamic of Nico doing yardwork for Demet funny. that's his. Grandma. Aunt. Grandaunt. Dont think about it too hard#then Arte just thinks of him as her roaming emo little brother (cause of Bianca) - hes an honorary brother of the Hunt#all the Hunters just accept ''that's our little bro he has very mixed feelings about us though''#and then. handshake same aesthetic. i like the hcs that Nico was an Eye for him for awhile before Walt ergo the fashion sense#my art
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mymarifae · 1 year
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aHA! i have finally figured out why i never jived with the kanade tenma hc. like you know me. THE found family guy. even if i don’t hc it myself i can still have fun watching other people have fun. but this one was always just 1. confusing and 2. not fun for me to see and i could never articulate why but i’ve got it now
the entire problem with Kanade Tenma is as a whole the fandom has a tendency to treat kanade like an orphan. like she has no family, no support system, like she’s all alone and needs to be taken in by the... tenmas... for some reason... (still not sure why the fandom decided she needs to be a tenma like she’s never even met tsukasa or saki. how is she getting over there. if she’s getting taken in by anybody it should be like... the mochizukis) and it’s like... guys. you do realize she’s not an orphan, right? she has family. she has good family. idr all the reasons why her grandma doesn’t live with her, but i’m assuming it’s along the lines of her being too old and frail to properly take care of a child at this point in her life - which is why she set kanade up with that caretaker/housekeeper system. it’s not perfect, but at least she isn’t being left to fend for herself
her dad is alive. just because he had a stroke and is now experiencing vascular dementia doesn’t mean he’s basically dead or that kanade is basically fatherless or something awful like that. (i’m genuinely still not sure what the fuck the game thinks it wrote irt what put kanade’s dad in the hospital but like. it wrote a stroke followed by vascular dementia. that’s what it did. “burnout” my fucking ass) i know at the end of the day kanade tenma is ultimately just a harmless headcanon, but like... please take a moment to think about the message even your most harmless headcanons might send. “if your parent is suffering from dementia and no longer recognizes you... well you don’t have a parent anymore. you need a new one. sorry.” obviously no one intends to say such a horrible thing, but remember that intent <<<<<<< final impression left on your outside audience.
having a family member that you love so much forget about you is a story that needs to be told. the prsk fandom needs to take a step back and just let this be told As It Is. kanade’s family is so, so fucking important to her. she’s only the person she is today because of her parents and all the gratitude and love she feels for them both. like, literally her most recent focus was her realizing how loved she was in light of mafuyu’s mother’s coldness. she knows that she experienced true unconditional love - something that mafuyu’s mom seems incapable of giving her daughter - and she still carries that love and warmth in her heart now. it’s what defines her as a person. it’s what gives her the courage to continue living. it’s why she believes she can save mafuyu and so many other people. she has that memory of what real genuine honest to god unconditional love is, and she’s so fucking determined to share it with the world.
kanade doesn’t... need a “new” family. her family may have suffered multiple tragedies, and it may be fragmented and a little broken, but... it’s hers. i don’t think it’s in good taste to take that away from her and try to “fix” her by placing her in a “better” family. it’s completely unnecessary.
#also someone on twitter said this i think but on the note of how i feel like making kanade a Tenma of all things is kind of out of the blue#like. the tenmas have nothing to do with kanade. i'm sure she'll meet saki and tsukasa at some point but ??#they aren't significant to her development in any way. and they /won't be/#their stories will just never intersect to that extent. trust me.#and because toya tenma (which is canon and true shut up shut up shut up learn how to READ) is often looped in with this hc too like#he doesn't have anything to do with kanade either!!!!!! she doesn't know who he is!! the tenmas are strangers to her.#so like. when you hc Kanade Tenma it feels like you're doing it for the sake of the OTHER characters and not her.#kanade HAS support systems !! she has people she's close with that she could potentially form a familial bond with!#she has niigo! she has honami! she has her literal grandma!#she has her dad even if he doesn't remember who she is. she's still able to talk to him some days and is able to connect with him by-#reliving the past with him. i can't like... express how powerful that scene where he's talking to her about how his wife is pregnant and-#how excited he is to meet their new child and that they're thinking about naming her kanade is. like it's heartbreaking but like#this kind of family dynamic is frequently glossed over in media. like i said it's a story that needs to be told as it is#learn. to explore kanade's relationship with her father and the relationships the game has spent like 200 episodes building up#stop throwing her into a random stranger's house stop thinking of her as an orphan in need of adoption.
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cinna-bunnie · 6 months
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i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠
i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀
it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look
and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹
went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠)
in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈
there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇
yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!
#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0:#which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk#but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress#i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !!#i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead#omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car#where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look#today she said I'm always looking fancy (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠) ♡⁠ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk#and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS#i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !!#old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!!#bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do#anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on#good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚)#my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really#cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out#even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡⁠#omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like#omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but#appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !!#i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁)#they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼#there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk#to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much#n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡#oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project#AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!!#there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)#if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡⁠
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vulpinesaint · 7 months
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desperately trying to remember if there are any books i read this year that i cannot find on my library borrowing history or simply cannot remember. i am so bad about remembering books. LITERALLY REMEMBERED ONE AS I'M WRITING THIS POST. anyway i am attempting to compile a list of books that i've read this year so that i can reference it without having to forget everything. wish me luck. i have fifteen titles on there right now but i can't shake the feeling there's something i'm forgetting
#checking my shelf of books i got for school??? idk#none of this is helped by the way that i have seven thousand books waiting to be read right now and all of them are on my mind#and several of them i am partway through. but i cannot put bell hooks all about love on my list yet i just can't#opened this is how you lose the time war today. not liking it super much but it's not even 200 pages so we'll pound through it#and then my three books from merc (princess bride and two books from the fight club guy)#and all about love. and interview with the vampire#WITCHER NOVELS!!! I READ WITCHER NOVELS AGAIN!!!! adding two more books to my list#god i'm not even through blood of elves yet. awful. this is why i can't keep anything up i forget my ebooks exist as options#then i should read that book about eleanor roosevelt that my grandma got me. as a token to her dskfjghs#wanna reread the hours! have a physical copy just for that so i can annotate#gotta finish the once and future king.#all that to say that there are many books that will be on this list once i actually sit down and read some of them#have to remind myself that i Am actually doing good i'm at over a book a month rate. this is fine#two books a month rate! actually!#shout out to library due dates for being a fantastic motivator#seventeen books on the 'read' list this year. this is fine bracken. you're doing good#realistically this is SO much better than previous years 😭 good stuff. just gotta keep reading#valentine notes#list that would have been so useful to have when we were doing that book recommendation thing
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running-in-the-dark · 23 days
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I know I've thought about this plenty of times before, but it really sucks being someone who likes things very intensely and defines themselves by their interests a lot, when you were/are always surrounded by people who do nothing but make fun of everything you like.
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zwergenmaedchen · 4 months
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#take anything i say with a grain of salt and the promise that i will feel better in the morning#tw suicidal ideation#i am so exhausted today and most days and today i basically do not want to live anymore#at least not like this#but i see no alternative and i am slowly failing to hope that it'll get better soon (or ever)#this is pretty much exclusively work related btw#we are so severely under-staffed but the job is so shitty for so many reasons that i don't believe we'll be getting many (if any) new#actually competent employees any time soon or ever#and the thing is i unfortunately love this shitty fucking job and i don't really wanna do anything else but i can't see myself surviving#doing this for at least another 30 years which is being optimistic at the state of the economy in general and my personal finances too#so like. what's the fucking point then?#increasingly i just wanna give up and curl up on my grandma's couch for days and let someone (her) care for me and not have any#responsibility or whatever#this sucks!!! but i don't see a way out!#anyway#that old man hasn't showed up at my work today and he hasn't texted either so that doesn't help lol (although i can't stress enough how#little influence everything about him actually has on me in the grand scheme of things)#oh but I've started wondering if maybe i am a bit stupid and maybe he's been trying to flirt with me?? idk but two days ago at the gym#i asked him if he would visit me the next day (meaning if he would come to the store where i work) and he asked ''where?'' and i immediately#said ''well at work'' and he asked when i would be there and then said that he also had to work at that time so he couldn't#and i only just now wondered if he was maybe phishing for an opportunity to hang out outside of our respective work places???#and maybe i shouldn't have said ''at work'' as if that was obvs the only place he could visit me? idk man i should be asleep and not over#analysing stuff i guess#bc smth a tiny bit similar happened the week before as well when he gave me back the box I'd put his muffin in#and i said he didn't have to give it back right away he could've just brought it round some time when he was done with it#and he said ''but i don't know where you live?'' and i told him he could've brought it to my work instead#so yeah hmh maybe I've implied that the only places we are likely to meet are our respective work places? have i? am i over thinking?#don't answer this i know i am. I'm just tired & disappointed in the whole work market economy situation. mit der gesamtsituation unzufrieden#that old man#z rambles
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aberooski · 4 months
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If I have another breakdown at work tomorrow like I did the last time I worked a Saturday I'm going to kill myself because last time I screamed in the hallway and cried so hard I was shaking because of how stressed I was.
#working at the movie theater sucks I hate people so much#I also hate that the movie theater was the best I could do even with a fucking degree because I've never had a job before#and I haven't even been there a month and I'm already the most fucking competent usher we have#i have to do fucking everything and I'm the only one keeping us on track every fucking day#also the only other ushers I actually like aren't the ones I consistently work with and tomorrow I have to work with the one that I hate#they literally do not pay me enough for this shit#anyway I'm back to considering opening art commissions becauae as I said they don't pay me shit and I really do need the extra money#also another reason I'm pissed about working tomorrow is that I have to miss christmas cookie baking at ny grandma's and that's one of-#-my favorite traditions every year. I'm actually very upset about it I might cry about it at work tomorrow.#alao they're making me come in at 10 am when all the other ushers don't start coming in until like 12 and the first theaters don't let out-#-until like 11:40 so there's literally no point in me being there that early other than to just piss me off#I'll take the extra like fuxking 20 bucka those 2 hours will get me but fuckibg seriously? I know I'm technically available-#-which is probably why but all it's gonna be is me making sure our usher cart is stocked then sitting around for an hour and a half#fuck everything#I fucking hate that this is my life this is awful#I can't have literally anything can I?#abby after dark#abby's having a crisis
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linabirb · 8 months
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me: man i don't know what to draw honestly
august: hi twst officially has a beach event now and it has your faves and you can also draw your ocs in those outfits and you can also draw your oc x canon ships in those outfits and also both minnie and kei are august babies and YOU'RE AN AUGUST BABY SO YOU HAVE TO DRAW SOMETHING WITH YOUR SONA AND ALSO-
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theood · 4 months
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sensazioneultra · 5 months
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that post got me thinking of how much my mental illness fucked with my memory and i got so... sad? that's not the right word. scared. but also it's something akin to grief. and something that effects my actual grief over people i lost. it affects everything. but i have never really talked about it with anyone. like not a single person, therapist, friend, no one. it's not even like a conscious choice, i just... think i am ashamed of it to the point i don't even think about it i just kinda live with ghosts in the back of my mind that grow in number the more i experience things and moments and feelings. i joke about my bad memory all the time! except it's not a joke, but if i stop to truly think about it i feel so much pain it gets overwhelming. like rn. idk if any of this makes sense but it's just... like tbh i wouldn't even know how to explain this to anyone! how do i explain something that i don't even understand myself. things just disappear. i went to a concert and i know it was fun but i can't remember much. if anything at all. i loved this person and i probably still love them but i couldn't tell you what we ever did together. i studied ancient greek for years but i remember next to nothing of what i learned and sometimes i pretend to remember something but in reality i looked it up. people around me much older than me remember in details a trip from 40 years ago but i already forgot so much of the trip i went on a little more than a month ago. it's like my life is endless grieving. idk how anyone who doesn't experience something like this could ever understand
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donedyke · 8 months
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hello i wish there was Anyone i could talk to about politics and current affairs and socialism and fascism with i wish i had anyone in the world who would listen to me lmao
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maironsbigboobs · 1 year
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snuggest · 1 year
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There’s a human being literally dying in front of me and I’m expected to be “okay.”
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nonzero people podcasting about goosebumps the musical & it’s never enough. neither extensive enough nor enthusiastic enough & that’s coming from me which is the entire explanation for the assessment. 
on the same topic but a completely different point, i was just appreciating how extra fun i always find understudy buddy to be. and obviously i would like to think that maybe tina & the unit that is brooke & zeke are like, more neutral to amicable after the show lol. tina is a lot of fun as is, like, automatic shoutout to any character just being like, getting in the way being offputting / a pain and all powered by one’s own intensity, that’s fun & funny & who among us? and like yeah she’s also definitely doing the mean girl thing like, in the song as mentioned lmao like please, rein it in. and maybe she will, but then when other suspects are being kind of crossed off the list just before thee play she manages to just be regular supportive towards brooke, so that’s promising lol. and also just shoutout to the Fun of a lively antagonistic role, great stuff, delightful number for her there, and sure helping ramp things up. and zeke and brooke not just showing up for this one horror musical (also i would love to shoutout zeke’s plight there lmfao like, the experience of original readers of poto where the twist is “nah it’s not a phantom it’s just some wet pathetic guy” like he’s so hyped to be The Ghost Lead and then he’s like oh god i’m a romantic lead in a hole & i’m five & it’s embarrassing & i even know my counterpart irl (the bestie) like i guess technically the role’s a ghost by the end & good for the mystery mask wearing element being exciting still) but that they were unnamed ensemble members in guys & dolls & saw that through, they’re bringing support & appreciation for the theatre, & on the flipside tina might just enjoy the theatricality & attention from it but she was having a great time informing everyone that on top of their haunted school it’s a specifically haunted (cursed) play, so maybe she can also relate to zeke and brooke’s horror genre appreciation. and she might warm up at all to zeke when he’s cleared about the fact he wasn’t trying to prank their efforts into oblivion, at least to the same degree she can manage to provide regular supportiveness to brooke when it comes to it. and on the one hand, despite brooke and zeke sure seeming like that hell of an established unit like probably just have their [socializing at school] foundation covered by hanging out w/each other, they could let brian in on that easily enough for something of a triumvirate, but now not only are they bffs since 5ever who love a genre together, they sure had an Adventure in emile messing up by [you never try to scooby doo villain your way through it] but also doing it all wrong where they think You’re the danger here & that you’re going to murder them, plus it’s scary for real exploring the darkness elevator underground tunnels anytime, but also now they have this off the shits experience with that new guy friend who was a ghost for real. kind of its own bonding element & maybe you wouldn’t exactly let anyone else in on it, much less like, tina lmao. she might be interested in The Legend but she was also super interested in telling everyone all about it, and idk, difficult and weird to explain, thing it’d all be quite the stuff to process for one lol like sure we love drama and ghosts and attention too but it’s A Lot. ghosts are real and i online dated one except across time rather than space and he was just some guy hanging out and i also hung out with him sometimes but then in the end it got weird b/c he was the suspicious understudy all along and this role is really not coming through....but also hey, could talk about it all eventually, and tina’s got plenty of context already. next year’s cast n crew party for the last show, be like hey guess what, b/c we’re solidly amicable now also
plus being extracurricular buddies like, ms. walker head in hands dealing with these three menaces lmao....although zeke wasn’t Really up to that much, tina’s sure committed to the show, etc. and it’s like, being a student or teacher or anyone else at a middle school is just always gonna be like that. could really be worse, she can handle it. and maybe she can know of the lore also, she’s out here engaging in irl drama and lore about like avenging her grandmother’s theatrical aspirations, or none of this would be going on lol. get used to these three and actually they’re reliable really, maybe tina will have learned to better accept not getting the dream role, which will be an easier time for everyone. but it’s just always gonna be a handful lol but all these kids were also all about putting on the play too, actually, yes maybe some problems arose from messing around with the platform but they could’ve been worse problems (queues of ghosts in line for their turn at finally achieving one last goal of performing their part in this one damn play lol) and does seem like it’s engineering issues inherently rather than Just messing around backstage unsupervised which isn’t often otherwise going to be fatally risky, and maybe just give people a rundown about the riskiness of things that Isn’t emile’s botched effort where he mostly just made children afraid of Him. like idk, i did shop class throughout middle school, we avoided injury w/successful cautionary rundowns. brian’s one other last goal could’ve been about safety measures, but whaddaya gonna do. anyways point is, hanging out after school for theatre purposes and having an understanding and bonus patience affordance with the teacher in charge of this and maybe everyone gets to know the Real Ghost Story or maybe it’s zeke & brooke’s personal inside secret, it was already a shared adventure for all involved even if they didn’t get the Full story the way those two did, all of them are up for Drama and for Horror, they’re good to go. and good for them
#goosebumps the musical#like let's do a play by play of the show And this kind of meandering musing about any and all elements lmfao#funny when the [just some guy] was clearly not at all intending to murder them but so far as they know he might've. which yeah terrifying#and their Real Ghost was a just some guy new friend. brian truly just hanging out like yep what's up everyone. yeah i'll paint a set#and i can't get over book brian being all the more just So Nervous in general lmao that's like his whole thing#like is this some extra anxiety you get when you die & then have been a ghost abt it? maybe. or maybe he's just already like that.#either way lol. i Love how they talk abt maybe encountering an actual ghost via the platform & brian's like omgg nooo stopp ;m; too scary#if you're a kid who would've been scared of ghosts then....just b/c you happen to be one yourself. still like omg no stopppp#but zeke & brooke aren't too overly terrified of this possibility of Real Ghosts though it Is clear they're both scared in the abyss there#like. yeah fair. you're like eleven and that is scary for anyone and does involve various elements of not insignificant danger#and it's more fun when they Aren't utterly unfazed by everything happening in the story ofc. which they are not#and who knows maybe zeke's a bit put off about actual ghosts lmfao like he Did get ghost attacked. whoops#hopefully as simply disorienting as alarming rather than like yeah i had a whole fight for my life back there while gradually smothered#things that have you looking up folklore abt ghosts' breath stealing ability. like fatally or just a lil sip...#well i don't know. where is the fog patch haint warding tradition recited humorously from perhaps my grandma as the lore source there lol#not online i suppose. go figure. anyways theatres & ghosts & superstitions? already going on. the ghost light for sure. just add some more#and be all the more earnest with it lol. hey why do you always say ''brian no more of that shit please i don't care if you wanna be man 7''#might still be more like ''i hope emile who's an alive guy out there doesn't try to kill me :/'' lmao fr....#maybe he makes himself scarce a while but returns also. kids probably wouldn't tell a soul so long as he doesn't try to scare them abt it#kind of difficult to ask these children straightforwardly to just not say anything to anyone once they know you're here but#they probably don't wanna go exploring back down there again. did that. just don't haunt the plays or seem like you'll kill them#and like who knows maybe a lot of ghosts w/goals hanging around & they're generally Just Ppl in gb situations thusly#your new friend even if they're really more Mortal than you for the temporariness of it all; ideally#given that they Do have some goal to fulfill & then they'll peace out a ways. really hardly the worst gb style of situation to be in#it's the drama & mystery & theatrics....& the fun of like layers of genre awareness lol. you like horror & you know you're kinda in A Story#the play; the play having a mystery history & possible curse; school's haunted; someone's sabotaging you; fake janitor; suspicious behavior#and a couple of protagonists who are liable to go looking for some degree of trouble for the fun of it....#anyways what a setup. lot going on lol. lot that Did go on. including the show; congratulations to everyone just about
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autumnhobbit · 2 years
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#would give anything to have smaller arms#no rolls#a sharp jawline like i had for a little bit#g*d my collarbone was visible in my old pics from 2018-2020 and it shouldn't bother me but it does so so.much#i don't know what my problem is#i don't know what i expect#on the one hand i feel like its genuinely not normal to lose some daily activity and immediately gain 40-50 lbs#bc like it didnt happen to me the first time i was jobless for like nine months#but on the other hand i'm like. my mom is fat my grandma has been fat for most of her life#my grandfather's mother was stocky and according to my mom she didn't have 'a single thin aunt'#but it's constant and clothes torment me and a lot of the time i can't stand to look at my face or body#and i even cheat myself out of the rare times i do feel okay about it by comparing how i actually look to how i want to look#or think i /ought/ to look#and honestly i still don't understand how anyone tolerates me and sometimes don't believe zach can genuinely be attracted to me#(even though i know he is.)#fuck.#idk man i know it's body dysmorphic disorder. i know.#mom only thinks its not a real thing bc she has it too.#but it's so hard to maybe accept that i'm not ugly#or even if i am i don't deserve to have that fact torment me my whole life#like i have eyes?? i can see me? i know i look horrid?#and i don't want to forgive myself and tell myself its ok i look like this.#i hate how i look. i hate how i feel. but i just toss it back and forth in circles in my head ad infinitum#and drive myself insane wanting peace with my body and self#and never getting it.
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