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#but is also like. 'you will not see the wife touch her smell nor hear her. she will not perceive you even if you stand before her.' until he
joeyleesblog · 1 year
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collapsed like a stone
Resumo: Damian decides to return to his origins in the League of Assassins, leaving R behind without knowing that she is pregnant, but R assures him that he will hear the news.
Romantic! Damain. Warning: Violence and Indecent Language (Mild).
......................................
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Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up
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THE pendulum VISION of R in the night sky of Eth Alth'eban flying towards him like an angel celebrated and sublime made Damian think at first that his overwhelming desire to see her and feel her in his arms since he left her in Gotham to leading the League of Assassins has finally reached its peak, causing him to hallucinate. Or maybe he was dreaming again, but if so he wouldn't be wondering if he was hallucinating or not, so he's fine waking up and still seeing R flying closer and closer to him. But now with the distance closing and squinting to better focus, the current leader of the League could see that instead of flying like an angel, R was actually being carried by a red and blue figure: John.
Knowing now that it wasn't a hallucination and that his wife was actually in Eth Alth'eban, obviously on purpose to see him, made his heart flutter with pure delight and his whole body vibrate with desire. However, the haze of happiness in his mind was lifted when reason reminded him why he didn't convince R to leave with him so that together they could rule the League - but instead left without even saying goodbye personally, but cowardly, she left a note explaining her departure and giving no guarantees of return and hoping that their marital relationship would continue despite her departure - it was because her grandfather had put her on his blacklist since she took back Timothy's spleen and even ruined all his garments with pink paint and purple glitter just in hopes of punching the Demon's Head (he was never so proud and furious at his chaotic actions as he was that day).
It was neither safe nor sensible to bring his beloved and dear wife into a place where she would be immediately harmed as soon as she set foot. It was also why a part of him prayed that R wouldn't go looking for him and try to convince him to return to Gotham as his brothers and Jon had tried - even though deep down he wanted more than anything for her to come back. show up and say he wouldn't give up on them that easily, even if it meant facing the entire League and his grandfather.
God, he was so selfish. Leaving her behind was for the best in the end. Even though her absence sometimes hurt physically, the important thing was keeping her safe and alive, whether she agreed or not. Besides, Damian wouldn't go back on his decision to go back to his roots even for R.
_______________
And all I gave you is gone
Tumbled like it was stone
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JON descended R as if he were handling something extremely fragile that would break at the slightest increase in pressure and remained floating in the air as if he was waiting for something, which, apparently, he was discarding.
— It was great. If you hear screaming, don't come. Remember the code. — Her voice sounded like the most beautiful music ever made in the world to Damian's ears and it took all of his self-control not to catch the woman in front of him. in her arms and never let go of her.
— Of course, R. — and so the current Superman walked away until he was no longer seen to give — at least the illusion — privacy to the couple (could they still be considered one?).
Damian drank in the sight of his wife intensely. Cataloging every detail and feature of her face, every curvature of her body. Wishing she could touch it, smell it and mark it again, to burn it permanently into her mind. Aware that it could be the last time he had the privilege of having her right in front of him. R was also enjoying seeing her husband after four months away. Wanting to hug and punch him at the same time for leaving without even telling her in person. Idiot. After what seems like an eternity of staring, the silence is broken by Damian's deep voice.
— You shouldn't be here.
Oh, bastard.
— You bastard,” R said after an incredulous sigh— You damn green snake. Do you know how much I want to rip off that ridiculous robe and not in a perverted way?
— I left Gotham for a reason, R.
— Oh! I know. Your account told me everything, dear. Even memorize it, want me to recite it?
— R, that — It was thanks to his reflexes that he avoided being hit by the woman's fist who relentlessly continued swinging her fists furiously at him. —R!
— I'm going back to my roots — sang R. — I can no longer waste my time trying to live up to a legacy I will never fully fit into. — she stopped the sequence of punches to catch her breath and continued to recite the contents of the note that had been thrown into the fire the moment she finished reading it four months ago —Forgive me, darling, for leaving. Don't come after me. I made my decision and I'm not going back.
— You're lucky the lookouts didn't see you and Jon! Hell, you're lucky Grandpa isn't here!
— Do you have any idea...
— The idiot...
— How it was...
— Be quiet, you miserable...!
— Dangerous?!
— AH! Stop blocking my satisfaction of punching you for leaving me A STUPID TICKET!
R finally stopped attacking before vomiting and took several deep breaths to calm down. Damian, realizing he wasn't going to attack anymore, broke the defensive posture, but he wasn't foolish to let his guard down in the face of his wife's fury.
— Shouldn't your ninjas already have come to try to kill me?" R asked, looking expectantly at the large door to Damian's room which, for some reason, was not opened by a bunch of katana-wielding ninjas.
— I told no one to come in because I was going to have a private talk with my wife before Jon left you. — Damian explained calmly.
Upon hearing the word "wife" R smiled sarcastically.
— I'm still your wife, huh? And I'm still waiting on divorce papers since the note didn't make it clear whether or not our marriage is over. Or maybe walking away without saying anything is like ending a relationship in the league?
Damian sighed.
— R...
— No, you coward! — the woman snapped angrily. — Years of dedication and fidelity, of companionship and loyal friendship! After saving you multiple times and screwing myself in the process! After the vows we made that only death would separate us for you to leave without even saying it to my face! You denied me a goodbye, Damian... One last kiss, one last hug, one last I love you. You denied me... You bastard without an ounce of heart for me... Argh! Damn it.
R finally started sobbing and Damian finally gave in and held her tightly against him. The smell of orange with chamomile almost made him cry with relief for finally being able to feel that again, as well as the feeling of R's body against his again.
God, how he missed you. And God, how he'd hurt her. He really should have let her punch him.
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Thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn't shake
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Stopping crying, R took a deep breath and wiped his snotty nose on his long shirt sleeve. If separated enough to look her husband in the eye, she raises her hand and slaps him hard. Damian just looked at her calmly and gently wiped the tears from her face.
— You should have talked to me. Personally.
- I know. I... I couldn't.
— That would hurt me too. It hurt, Damian.
— I'm sorry, honey.
— Hard to believe.
—I know. But I guarantee it's the purest truth, beloved.
R sighed deeply and caressed the League leader's red cheek, Damian brought his large hand to cover the smaller hand that held the side of his burning face, enjoying the warmth and good feeling it brought him.
— Nothing I say will change your mind.
—... No my love. Am sorry.
She knew, always knew, the moment she read the note that broke her heart, that the love of her life would not return to her side, just as R would not stay by her side where she decided to be. The reality was painful, but it would be bearable after a while.
God, but now it hurt like hell. Mainly because the separation would be felt by someone else and in this case it was even more cruel and unfair.
— That's not why I came here, my love.
Damian frowned, confused.
— Then why?
R took a deep breath and took a small package wrapped with a red ribbon from his pants pocket.
— I wanted you to know about me and no one else. And as angry as I am, it's your right to know.
Damian slowly opened the package and when he saw the contents he felt his whole body go cold.
A positive pregnancy test.
— R, that- Damian could barely form complete sentences. It was as if Bane and Killer Croc had punched them at the same time.
— When I found out, I was so happy I thought I was going to explode. I knew how tense things were and I thought the news of a baby on the way would ease it, at least a little. — R laughed humorlessly. — I was so happy that we were going to grow the family, that we were going to be a united family, despite the problems.
Damian no longer bothered to hold back his tears. Her emotions like a tsunami inside her body made of flesh and blood, threatening to explode with colossal intensity.
R continued, fresh tears streaming down her face.
— Now I'm sorry the child is going to be caught up in this disaster, Damian.
______________
It all fell down
______________
....
Scene reported:
The Demon's Head invaded the room accompanied by a group of ninjas with Katanas. Upon spotting him, R spoke happily before he could speak.
— Ra's, good to see you again! And good health, of course!
Ra's hissed like a snake.
— What right do you think you have to step foot in here after what you've done?
— Right? Oh, I believe the wife has a right to see her husband. — Despite the joy in her voice, the word 'husband' was said with clear irony, cutting Damian's heart like a dagger.
Ra scoffed.
— I think my grandson has already made it clear that you no longer hold that title.
R blinked innocently.
— Oh really? I don't remember signing or picking up the divorce papers. Pfff. Perhaps age is finally catching up with you?
Ra's snarled and withdrew his sword from his belt and began to advance towards the woman.
— This time I'm going to cut out your useless tongue.
— And this time I'm going to cut off your shriveled balls.
Damian shot forward and stood in front of R, his body completely covering the woman's.
—Grandpa, stop. — demanded the current leader of the League in a calm, but authoritative tone.
Ra's eyes widened at his grandson's challenge.
— What is it, Damian?! — barked the ancient, but Damian remained unfazed.
— Please leave us alone.
— What?!
— Gramps, I didn't tie up all the loose ends when I left Gotham like I intended. I'm going too fix this right now and I want to do this privately.
Ra's clearly didn't want to, but decided to realize the loss of his grandson. With one last angry glare in R's direction, he left the room along with his subordinates.
Alone now, Damian and R looked at each other silently, until the woman laughed mischievously.
— The lack of your emotional spleen is really lacking, huh.
— That's not funny, R! — the man spat angrily. —Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?!
R snorted.
— Ties up loose ends, doesn't it? Sounds ominous considering the context. Does this mean you're going to kill me, life?
—R!
The woman laughed.
— What?
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*someone said there isn't a lot of arcana twilight stories so here is a rough setup. In plot, the character isn't usually referenced by pronouns and appears gn however chats continually refer MC to she/her*
There’s an old wife’s tale about beauty rising from the ash. After Hiroshima, they deemed the land uninhabitable after the bombs burned and corrupted everything they touched. This was before the ground sprouted new beginnings and said another day would come. The sun still rose and fall each day without fail. There was always a tomorrow.
It’s easier to have hope outside the rubble. Somewhere on campus a student holds trust the infantry will return. Trust and hope play an interesting game of intertwining so why can’t she do it. Why can’t she walk through the debris with those eyes? 
Inhale, exhale, inhale, take in the child being soothed by their parents down the street. Focus on anything other than the man with multi-colored eyes grinning a devil’s grin if the devil ever did. A coping mechanism is to recount things you: see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. This coping mechanism is also used in grounding and the tower still falling, the slabs hitting the stoned pavement, the screams, the burning throat, the watery eyes, and the blurry world only sent her further in the darkness.
The physical feeling of drifting between realms or out of body experiences can feel like a mesh detachment. They’re light but still heavy enough for the body to attempt to weight down. Perhaps, this new space was a premonition and the man of many faces knew this outcome. Of course, he had to of known this outcome as her spirit stood under red skies. She’d been here before and it didn’t make anything better.
Her body didn’t stagger nor brush asphalt against the coble road. No, it drifted through a path of fortune tellers, scattered children, cracking buildings, and a man sitting upon the tallest of rubble. She didn’t care to sight see and the eye blinking high in the sky went in the cracks of debris as she gazed upon a deck. A reversed tower,  a reversed star, a reversed fool, an upright wheel of fortune, and an upright high priestess stared back at her. They called for her hand, her hand, take one touch as her fingers brushed the surface the area grew in saturation.
Do not look at the eye.
Was there something wrong with the eye? Yes, of course, it shouldn’t have slithered from the bleeding sky and curled itself upon the priestess.
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mrdarcysdadbod · 3 years
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Thinking abt how stressful it would be to wear all those pure white dresses in Austen has me thinking abt a P+P variation where Wickham does show up to the Netherfield ball and gets Lizzie alone in the garden and tries to Kiss Her With Tongue and Darcy comes to rescue her but at some point she gets knocked on her ass in the scuffle and when she escapes back to the ballroom thinking she's successfully evaded scandal, Charlotte is like "babe you gotta sit down NOW there are grass stains all down your back" which means, of course, RUMORS
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gotham-ruaidh · 2 years
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the simple power of touch
The absolutely gorgeous scene in 06x03 "Temperance", where Claire returns from checking in on Tom Christie and then asks Jamie about Ardsmuir - the dialogue is almost verbatim from A Breath of Snow and Ashes.
It is one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking conversations that Jamie and Claire ever have.
For we - through Claire - feel Jamie's pain at not feeling a loving or kind touch. This man, to whom touch is so vital, who can barely restrain himself from touching his beloved wife, or his children or grandchildren - was denied that simple pleasure for so many years of his life.
Fortunately for Jamie, that time is long past. But we know that memory is a funny thing, and the slightest trigger brings it roaring back.
And also fortunately for Jamie - he can look back on that painful time in his life, and hold and kiss his wife, and sleep with her curled against him. Literally the stuff of his Ardsmuir dreams.
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“In the dark . . .” he whispered at last, “there at Ardsmuir, we lay in the dark. Sometimes there was a moon, or starlight, but even then, ye couldna see anything on the floor where we lay. It was naught but black—but ye could hear.”
Hear the breathing of the forty men in the cell, and the shuffles and shifts of their movement. Snores, coughing, the sounds of restless sleep—and the small furtive sounds from those who lay awake.
“It would be weeks, and we wouldna think of it.” His voice was coming easier now. “We were always starved, cold. Worn to the bone. Ye dinna think much, then; only of how to put one foot in front of another, lift another stone. . . . Ye dinna really want to think, ken? And it’s easy enough not to. For a time.”
But every now and then, something would change. The fog of exhaustion would lift, suddenly, without warning.
“Sometimes ye kent what it was—a story someone told, maybe, or a letter that came from someone’s wife or sister. Sometimes it came out of nowhere; no one said a thing, but ye’d wake to it, in the night, like the smell of a woman lying next to ye.”
Memory, longing . . . need. They became men touched by fire—roused from dull acceptance by the sudden searing recollection of loss.
“Everyone would go a bit mad, for a time. There would be fights, all the time. And at night, in the dark . . .”
At night, you would hear the sounds of desperation, stifled sobs or stealthy rustlings. Some men would, in the end, reach out to another—sometimes to be rebuffed with shouts and blows. Sometimes not. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to tell me, nor what it had to do with Thomas Christie. Or, perhaps, Lord John Grey.
“Did any of them ever . . . touch you?” I asked tentatively.
“No. None of them would ever think to touch me,” he said very softly. “I was their chief. They loved me—but they wouldna think, ever, to touch me.”
He took a deep, ragged breath.
“And did you want them to?” I whispered. I could feel my own pulse begin to throb in my fingertips, against his skin.
“I hungered for it,” he said so softly I could barely hear him, close as I was. “More than food. More than sleep—though I wished most desperately for sleep, and not only for the sake of tiredness. For when I slept, sometimes I saw ye.
“But it wasna the longing for a woman—though Christ knows, that was bad enough. It was only—I wanted the touch of a hand. Only that.”
-- A Breath of Snow and Ashes
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after-witch · 3 years
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Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Title: Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Synopsis: Escape isn’t easy. Nor is it very long-lasting. When Overhaul’s men drag you back into captivity, you brace yourself and wait for what your captor will do with you. 
Word Count: 7,592
Notes: yandere, kidnapped, humiliation, degradation, mentions of eating disorder behavior, improper use of household cleaning products, Overhaul is a mean man 90% of this fic is just Overhaul being an asshole to you
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There are going to be bruises on your shoulders. Fingerprint shaped bruises from the men holding you steady, afraid that you'll try to sprint off--maybe afraid that you'll try to spring at their boss, disobedient, unruly possession that you are.
You know that Overhaul won't like it when he eventually sees those black-and-blue fingerprints marring your skin--he might kill them for it, or worse. They're digging in too hard, but you don't warn them to ease up lest they find themselves on the wrong end of Overhaul's hands; they brought you back to this place, after all, and they deserve nothing but your hot, raw contempt.
You could run. You could slip out of their grip, if you put your mind to it. Your clothes are wet and the medical table that you're sitting on is slippery from the rainwater that's dripped out from your soaked clothes. But Chisaki Kai--no, Overhaul, you remind yourself, for the energy he’s exuding now is very much that of a foreboding boss--is standing in front of you, and you'd never make it to the doorway.
"Leave us," Overhaul says, not bothering to move as the men gripping your shoulders release their painful hold and swiftly leave the room. He tears off a sanitizing wipe from the ever-present canister on his desk and wipes down the doorknobs that they touched, before locking the door. An unnecessary precaution, given your nerves, given your state, given your realization that your escape attempt was a massive fluke that would never be allowed to happen again.
You numbly watch as he gathers up supplies from around the makeshift clinic he'd created in the small suite of rooms he allowed you to exist in. The canister of disinfectant. Medical-grade soaps. Sponges. A bucket. Needles, needles, needles... you remember the feel of the syringe you'd stolen in your hand and distract yourself from the fear of what he's going to do to you by retracing the steps of the past day.
**
You got farther than you thought you would--really, you did. At every stage of your plan, you expected Chisaki to suddenly reveal that he knew every step you'd taken so far. That he'd catalogued every act of false obedience to lure him into relaxing the rules, that he saw you swipe the syringe of tranquilizer from the clinic when he'd left for a moment to grab a fresh pair of clothes for you, that he knew you asked to sit with him at his desk only to sneak a glance at his calendar, so you could sweetly plead for an afternoon in the garden when he would be busy, when he would surely ask a highly trusted subordinate to watch over you.
A highly trusted subordinate who knew all about your weeks of good, sweet behavior and who was none the wiser when you'd jabbed him with the syringe, plunging the medicine, the same kind your captor once used to 'calm you down' when you were having fits, right into the man’s thigh. 
You didn't hesitate: you'd dipped your hands into the man's pockets, pulled out his wallet and ran. You barely remember anything until you were in the forest--you vaguely remember using the key card to open the gates surrounding the base, you remember the fear that at any moment you would hear an alarm sound; but from there, everything was a blur as you sped into the forest wearing only the soft day shoes you'd been given to go outside.
You made it through the forest, though not without bumps and cuts and sore feet and a dimly throbbing ankle that was thankfully only turned. You ran until you reached a small town, one you'd never been in before. You buried your first instinct deep, deep, deep: do not contact the authorities. Who knows what connections Overhaul had, especially in a town so close to where he operated? So instead you waltzed into a little corner shop and made a beeline for the bathroom--where you promptly vomited out your breakfast as all of the anxiety and fear and adrenaline caught up with you in an instant.
You remember staring into the bathroom mirror afterwards, your face cold with splashed water. It was then, staring into your pale and anxious face, a face you hadn’t been allowed to see in a mirror for ages, that you felt freedom slamming back into you. You could do what you wanted, now. You were going to get your life back. You could make your own schedule and have your own hobbies back and eat what you wanted and--your stomach had gurgled, as if on cue. You had to get something to eat. But how would you pay?
The wallet you'd pilfered felt heavy in your pocket, and you opened it without a second thought. No cash. But a credit card. It would do, until you were able to get some cash of your own. You wandered back into the shop and even now, you can still feel how struck you were by how cozy, how nice, how different it felt. Just a small general store with big open windows and soft music in the background, and an old woman behind the register who immediately asked you if you needed any help finding this or that.
You smiled--a real smile, how nice that felt--and shook your head and loaded up a basket. A first-aid kit, a large water bottle, a toothbrush and toothpaste... then came the snacks. Candy. Chips. Soda. Things you hadn't tasted in so long. You even grabbed a pointless fashion magazine. The old woman had glanced at the name on the card and you offered a sheepish smile, a fake one that made you feel a pang of guilt for lying to her: "My boyfriend sent me to do the shopping. He's no good at this stuff." She'd smiled and nodded, oh I understand dear, before packing up your order.
You stepped out into the sunshine--you can't pretend like you remember how it feels, right now, shivering from the damp rain on this table--and took a deep breath of fresh air. It smelled crisp and sweet and clean. Not the sterile cleanliness of your captor's clinic, but truly pure--real. There was a slight tinge to the air, and you spotted grey clouds on the horizon. Not an omen, no: just another sign that you were outside, you were in nature, you were free. The smell was the promise of thunder, of electricity, of cool rain.
It also smelled like... well, lunch. Or more precisely, you smelled the vague scents of the little pizza shop a few shops down.
And here is where you made, looking back, your biggest mistake. You should have headed to a bus station. Or called for a taxi. You should have gotten the hell out of there right that second. But your mind flashed back to Overhaul's little calendar, the words printed neatly in the little square for today: he would be away until the evening, which meant you (surely, surely) had a few more hours before he came back and discovered your escape.
He’d ordered no one to bother you and your now-unconscious guard in the garden, so if no one saw you run out, then an alarm certainly wouldn’t raised for a while. You had time, didn't you? Time to grab a meal? You could always get it to go, and you could even ask an employee inside about buses or taxes. Yes, it was fine--you would get a few slices to go and hop on a bus and leave forever. More than that, it was practical. You needed energy, and the junk in your bag--while undoubtedly delicious--wasn't going to be enough to sustain you for long.
The door to the pizza place dinged when you entered, and you almost teared up at the normality of it. It was a buffet style place, with rows of pizzas under yellow-cast lights and rows of red booths and people lifting slices onto their plates with shared tongs. Unusual for a small town, but maybe it was a remnant from a more bustling time, when American-style pizza places were all the rage. For a moment, your thoughts had turned back to your captivity: Overhaul would have never set foot into a place like this--nor would he have let you. Germs, germs, everywhere. And you loved it.
You paid with the card, but there was no need for excuses this time--the young man behind the register didn't even check for a name or signature, much less ask for identification. You asked about a to-go box and he'd shrugged, mumbled out an apology--they didn't do that here. You have to eat inside.
For a moment, the rational part of your mind screamed: get the hell out of here, then! But your stomach growled, and hunger beckoned, and damn if that row of glistening pizza slices didn't make you want to eat. And eat.  And… eat. You shoved repressed thoughts deep down, your heart hammering all the while, and took a tentative step towards the buffet. Thunder rumbled as you debated. You could be out of here in... 30 minutes? Enough time to eat--to binge, your mind whispered, you can now--and maybe get it out after? Yes, it would be fine. (It would not. Future you, the one sitting on the table and watching in increasing anxiety as Overhaul finishes up his tasks, wishes she could tell you.)
You should have seen the start of the rain, sudden and relentless, as a bad sign. Instead you ignored it and filled up a large cup with diet soda that spilled a little when you forgot to let go of the button. You ate without thinking, not even really enjoying the taste of the first greasy pizza slices you’d had in ages.
You were on your fifth slice when the restaurant doors dinged, but the sense of small town charm was overrun by the immediate realization that you were caught. You were fucked. The air thickened--were you the only one to notice?--as two men in slim suits entered the restaurant with an air of immediacy. You were spotted in a second, if that. You thought about running.
But then you thought about the bored teenager behind the register and the old man cutting up his wife's pizza slices because she had trouble chewing and the little girl stacking up pepperonis while her mom chatted on the phone and you resigned yourself. You didn’t want anyone else to get hurt…even if it meant giving in. You didn't struggle, couldn't struggle, and let them lead you swiftly outside where the torrent of rain soaked you immediately  as they pushed you down the block, where an unmarked car waited. You glanced up helplessly as the cloudy sky and rain streamed down your face before you were unceremoniously pushed into the backseat.
Overhaul was sitting inside, staring at you with an intensity you've never seen before.
**
Your backpack drops with a thump next to you and you flinch out of your memories.
"Let's see what you bought with that stolen card during your little adventure."  His voice is deceptively calm. He must be furious with you, you think. And you can't believe you didn't think about credit fraud alerts before you used the damn card.
The noise of the zipper is thunderous and you scoot yourself back on the exam table, pressing against the wall to put a little more room--even if it's only inches--between you and your captor. He begins to pull everything out of the bag, one by one, and seeing it all lined up makes it clear what type of lecture is coming.
A few bags of chips, a bottle of soda, bars of chocolate, all junk, junk, junk. All food he would never permit you to eat, and certainly not in such quantities.
"Disgusting," he murmurs, before tossing each item into a trash bin kept against the wall, one by one. You cringe at the sound of each bag, each bottle, hitting the bottom of the trash. You didn't even get to taste them. He stares at the trash, eyes narrowed, as if the food itself was worthy of his venom. "Full of unnecessary sugars and fats and oils. Eating so much of this will make you sick. We've talked about this."
You say nothing. You press your lips together. You won't give him the satisfaction of argument. You won't let him pretend like he has any right to lecture you on what you eat, and certainly not what you eat after you've escaped (however briefly) from his clutches.
"At least you didn't have time to ingest them during your ill-planned escape, hm?" He replaces his previous gloves--tainted with the thought of germs on the junk food bags, no doubt--and your stomach flips at the sound of the medical gloves he's snapped on in their place. "Which is more than I can say for the pizza." You never knew someone could say pizza with such a ridiculously nasty tone, but you've learned a lot of things during your captivity.
"You weren't content with this junk hoard," he says, gesturing towards the trash while keeping his eyes firmly on you. "You had to gorge yourself on greasy pizza from a dirty buffet, too? We are going to clean your mouth out, by the way.”
You hate the way he says gorge--you hate the way he says greasy--you hate the anxiety that comes with wondering what he’ll do to ‘clean’ your mouth. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. The hate makes you answer defensively, despite your earlier resolution to stay quiet. You can't help yourself, in a lot of ways.
"I was hungry," you say, still feeling defiant.
"No one working on their fifth slice of pizza is hungry," he answers, simply. You feel diminished, but not enough to shut you up.
"So? It's not your business what I eat anyway.” A familiar tightness is springing to your throat. You don't want to cry in front of him ever again, so you clip the words out, fighting to retain control.
He presses a fist to his forehead in a sudden, rather surprising show of frustration. "Not my business? Not my business? It's my business to take care of you. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you out there?"
The fullness in your stomach, the cold rain soaking you, the remembrance of the wind and branches lashing at you as you ran hours before, all these freedoms have made you feel bold. Or maybe you're succumbing to the effects of an adrenaline crash and you just can't control your mouth.
"I could have been free. You can’t--you can't just keep me here. You can't just kidnap someone and decide you know what's best for them."
There's a long, steady pause as he stares at you. His expression--what you can see from his eyes--is blank, and you almost wonder if perhaps you've stumped him.
"I can," he says, lightly. Easily.
Fucker.
He sighs, and you get the distinct impression that you’re a nuisance, something to deal with, something he’s having to deal with instead of doing far more important things. "You’re showing a severe lack of appreciation for all the work I do to take care of you."
You don't know how to respond to that. "You kidnapped me.” It’s all you can think of--the bare truth.
He doesn't speak at first. Then he lifts something from the supply tray he's set up--a blue hospital gown, thin and short, and tosses it towards you. You catch it instinctively, feeling the thin, feather-light material in your fingers. He tosses a towel, next, and you hold it against your damp chest. He turns around.
"Change."
You don't want to. You don't want to. But you've never pressed your luck on what would happen if you refused to get dressed before, afraid that he might do it himself, and that fear overrides any thoughts of outright rebellion. For now. You slide off your wet clothes and push them towards the end of the table, then use the towel to dry off your skin. There are scratches and bruises, including a nasty looking one that's already turning green on your ankle. Your feet are swollen from running on the hard forest floor with your thin day shoes.
When you're finished, you clear your throat, and he turns back around. He tosses your wet clothes right into the trash--damn, you liked that shirt--and wipes off the table with a separate towel. You sit, legs dangling off the table, and wish he'd just get the punishment or examination or whatever it is he has planned over with. You can feel the coldness of the table through the medical gown, and its thinness makes you feel even more helpless. Weak. You want to retain that feeling of freedom that you had earlier in the day. Even choosing to return without a fight, choosing to avoid hurting the innocent people in that town, made you feel bold.
He stands in front of you until you force yourself to look up, to get it over with. He's swapped out his mask for a medical one.
"Have I ever hurt you?"
You hate this.
"No," you admit, voice tight. "Not physically," you add spitefully, because fuck him for trying to make himself sound like a decent person because he kidnapped you but didn't happen to hit you.
"Do I take care of you?" His tone is firm, commanding. It leaves no room for silences. Instead, it makes your stomach feel light, makes your heart feel like it wants to race.
"I can do that on my own," you counter.
"Can you?" He says, voice dripping in condescension.
"Yes," you spite, bile rising into your throat. "I can take care of myself."
He reaches back and grabs the little stool he keeps in this room, rolling it up to rest in front of the table and in front of you. He sits down and cups his hands together, resting them on his thigh. He leans forward. An easy gesture. Like he wants to have a conversation. But something about his movements sends out warning signals. Big, glaring, flashing warning lights that scream DANGER.
“You can take care of yourself.” It’s a statement, yet the way he says it is brutally mocking.
“I can,” you insist, your voice cracking just the slightest bit under his gaze.
"So, where would you live?" He watches you intently and it takes a moment for you to realize what he just asked you. He isn't offering you freedom, no. But maybe you can win an argument, just this once, and forcibly stop his delusions that he's "taking care of you."
"Anywhere," you say, but he looks unimpressed. "An apartment," you correct. "Like my old one. Doesn't have to be big." Your heart pangs with nostalgia for your old place, for your independence, for your life.
"Ah." Overhaul brings a gloved finger up to his chin and rests is there, nodding, as if he's seriously considering your words. "And how will you pay for rent at this apartment?"
You can't resist the snarky tone. "A job."
He rests both hands on his thighs. "Tell me, how much did you make at your last job, again? No--tell me, how long did you hold your last job?" You cross your arms defensively around your waist as he continues. "If I recall correctly, you were fired rather quickly from that one... and the one before."
You squeeze your waist, hoping for the tiniest bit of comfort from the gesture. "I... it wasn’t my fault.” You feel like you’re under a magnifying glass. “The first time. And the second, well, I was looking for something better, anyway."
He raises his eyebrows, curious. "Looking where? At the bottom of a bottle?"
Your entire body tenses.
"After all," he continues, voice almost taking on a syrupy sweet tone. "Your fridge was so well-stocked with them. Hmm. Do you think it's responsible to spend so much money on alcohol when you're behind on rent payments?"
"No," you say, voice tighter, "But--"
He doesn't give you a chance to finish. He stands, and you immediately squeeze your arms again. "And how much were you spending on other luxuries? Those clothes you kept carelessly shoved in your closet... they were a name brand, weren't they?"
Your throat is dry and your mouth is dry and you lick your lips. "There were sales," you insist.
"Ohh," he says, his voice lifting in mockery. "And I bet there were sales on the jewelry, the trinkets, the--" his eyes drift upwards, an implication of his disdain, "--figurines."
You lift your chin in defiance. "I'm allowed to buy things that I like."
He begins to pace. Not aimlessly, no, nothing with him is ever aimless. He paces until he stops in front of you, turning to face you for effect.
"What happens if you're late on three rent payments? Remind me of the policy that decrepit building you called an apartment complex had."
You squirm on the table. "I was only behind on two--"
"What happens?" His voice is firm. You can't avoid it.
There's a pause before you murmur, unwillingly. "You get evicted."
"So." He takes another step, and turns back towards you. "Do you think it's responsible to spend money you don't have on luxuries, when you're behind on rent?"
You want to run. Maybe you should have run at him earlier. Getting tossed into a solitary room after attacking him might be better than this interrogation.
"No," you admit. You swallow, dry and thick and a bit painful. "Okay. I'm not great with money. I bought things to make me happy because I was stressed out about---life. It's not that big a deal. I--I didn't get kicked out, anyway."
He sits again, but keeps himself upright, the air of faux casualness replaced with an air of command. "How did you catch up on your rent? Tell me."
You hate him. You stare at him, hoping he'll end this, but he simply stares at you until you blurt out the words. "You paid my landlord. Anonymously." You stare down at the floor, at the drops of water still there from earlier. "I didn't ask you to. I would have figured something out."
"I'm sure."
He stands, and you stare at the wall until you hear him roll the tray of supplies towards the table. Your body trembles of its own accord when he grabs your arm firmly and wraps a blood pressure cuff around the top. You sit in silence as the cuff gets tighter then mercifully deflates.
He tsks at the number, and jots it down on the pad resting on the table. For once, you're not tempted to peek.
"I need to take some blood," he says, and you stick out your arm in automatic, habitual compliance before your brain even realizes it. He grips your wrist firmly while he swipes your arm with an anti-bacterial agent.
"How much do you weigh?" He asks suddenly, voice nonchalant.
You stare at him, incredulous. He's never brought up weight before. He’s always been careful to avoid details about weight, nutrition--calories. The most he would do is point out that you need a well-rounded diet with the right vitamins and nutrients, and ignore your questions about sauces and cooking oils and grams, all attempts to find out something that could give you an ounce of control over what’s going into your body.
"I--I don't know.  You don't let me look at the scale when I step on it." He knows this. He knows that he's forbidden you from seeing the number, because he knows about your past, knows your tendency to get obsessive and strict and focus on food and weight and worth.
"Why don't I let you look at the scale?"
Your stomach feels like it's twisting.
"I don't know." The lie is bitter on your tongue.
The casual tone in his voice when he replies is far more biting than any cruel insult. "Yes, you do." 
His words are punctuated by the harsh medicinal smell of the next wipe. But you're in no mood to appreciate that he's still choosing to numb your skin despite your earlier transgressions.
The tears you felt building earlier begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. You don't want to cry, you don't want to cry, you don't want to cry.
“Why don’t I let you look at the scale?” He repeats, firmer, more insisting. He winds a band around your arm and taps at your veins.
Your arm looks fatter, like this. You swear it does. You look away to avoid your arm and the needle and his gaze.
“Because, um, I sometimes have problems with food. Or weight. Or whatever.”
“You have an eating disorder,” he tells you, all business as he plunges the needle into your skin; there’s only the ghost of a sting as he begins to slowly draw your blood. But you barely feel it, you can only feel the impact of his words, blunt and hateful.
"You were going to throw up in that germ-infested hovel. Eat until your stomach was distended, then head into a bathroom--which I'm sure the staff hadn't cleaned in ages--and stick your unwashed, greasy fingers down your throat until it all came back up. Am I correct?"
You can't tell if you feel woozy because of the needle or the way that your heart is racing at his words. Throw up. Greasy. Disgusting. You're disgusting.
"Stop it," you say, voice muddled with humiliation and anger.
He pulls the needle out, and quickly presses a bandage to your skin. He keeps a finger there, firm and pressing. He looks up at you, now, as he continues his onslaught.
"And then what? Let me make an educated guess. You were going to get on some filthy bus and open up all the junk you bought earlier? Perhaps," he muses, as he rips off a piece of tape to keep the gauze in place, "you could have asked the bus driver to stop at a public bathroom for a vomit break. And you'd probably make sure that whatever flea-ridden hotel you found along the way had a scale in the bathroom so you could keep track. And another one of your delightful," he practically spits the word out, "cycles would have started, hm?"
"Stop it," you repeat, voice breaking. "I wasn't--I wouldn't have--"
"You were going to," he says simply, interrupting. "Thankfully, we got there in time. Although I'm sure now you will endure a stomach ache after your reckless indulgence. A lesson, perhaps, though not the exact one I would inflict myself."
As if on cue, your stomach rolls and clenches. You’re keenly aware that you’re going to have digestive problems tonight, and the thought of being at his mercy while you’re dealing with them threatens to send you over the edge.  Could you get even more disgusting? The thought of how you look right now, stomach no doubt bulging, hair disheveled and damp, covered in ugly bruises and cuts--combined with the fear of spending the night on a toilet sends you over the edge.
You press your knuckles against your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut and try to force the sobs down. Your body begins to tremble, even more so as he lifts your leg. Without warning, he begins to unceremoniously scrub it down with a sponge dipped in disinfectant.
It stings and your eyes feel like they might pop at the sudden pain. You hiss at the feeling of the liquid on your cuts and try to pull away, to no avail. Your legs feel like jelly in his grip.
“That hurts,” you whine. 
“It can’t be helped,” he tells you, holding your leg firmly as he scrubs the sore bottom of your feet. Any sensitivity you had there is overruled by the soreness and pain from running, from the stinging aches that remain in your cuts. “I have to clean every cut or you may get an infection.”
He sets your leg down and lifts up the other, and you cringe before he even begins to move. You can’t help but whimper as he scrubs your leg, and the helpless stings of pain only increase when he moves on to your arms.
“Please,” you say, feeling low, nearly flattened. “I can’t… I can’t take this.”
He pauses, and the seemingly genuine concern in his eyes (it’s not, you remind yourself, it’s not--you think of the shop and the pizza place and the old man cutting his wife’s food, that was concern, that was care) has you feeling sorry for yourself.
“The stinging will go away in a few minutes. You chose to run away, you can certainly deal with this minor consequence.” He retains his grip on your upper arm and he swipes the sponge across your shoulders, briefly pushing the fabric aside as he does so. He pauses when he sees the blooming fingerprints on your shoulders, but says nothing.  You wonder if those men will survive the night.
There’s a a cut, thin and long, dragging from your collarbone down across your chest. He dips unceremoniously below the gown, touching you in a spot he normally avoids. The feeling of him so close, touching you--not quite on your chest, but close enough--only intensifies your humiliation. You whimper again and try to pull away, but his grip offers no room to move.
“I can’t--” You don’t finish. Your throat is so tight and you hate it, you hate that you can never talk about anything with him, never argue with him without clamming up with tears and a thick throat.
You bring your hands up to your hair, tugging on it until it prickles. Your breath starts to come in short bursts, your chest having as you pull on your hair and will yourself to be anywhere but here. For a flashing moment, you wish you’d never tried to escape. If you didn’t, you’d be getting ready for bed right now. Things would be--not okay. Never okay. But you wouldn’t be here, on this table, cold and stinging and in pain and utterly despondent from having your failures shoved in your face. But then you remember that if he’d never kidnapped you, you wouldn’t have had to try to escape in the first place, and the wish fades.
He remains silent, and instead simply keeps a steady, firm grip on your upper arm until your breath slows, until you can control yourself. Your skin feels at once numb and prickling in anxiety and adrenaline and emotions coursing through you.
Overhaul gives your arm a squeeze that is, perhaps, meant to be reassuring. “Are you suitably recovered?
You nod. Your stomach feels sour. You want to ask if you’re done, if you can just go sleep or get sent (you dread the idea) to solitary confinement or whatever it is he has planned in the wake of your escape. Anything would be better than this room and this soft, thin gown and his bright blue surgical gloves and your failure hanging in the air.
He extends his arm out and you pause for a moment before you grasp it, holding tight as you get off the table and stand on wobbly legs. You’re loathe to touch him, but you’re even more loathe to fall flat on your face on the hard floor.
He speaks before you get a chance to ask if you can change out of the medical gown.
“Now, we’ll go to the bathroom.”
Your knees suddenly feel like they might drop out from under you. “The bathroom?”
He nods, and pulls himself away from your weak grip as he begins walking towards the door. You follow without thinking, pausing when he stops to slide his medical gloves into the trash before slipping on another pair.
“We’re not finished here,” he tells you, and you swear his voice is almost giddy as he turns his head to meet your questioning face. “I told you earlier, we’re going to clean your mouth out.”
He can’t mean--
You take a step back, and your knee buckles. He’s quick--he catches you before you fall, but doesn’t let go. His pulls you upright and pulls you along. Your legs have no choice to walk--walk or be dragged--and you struggle for words as he leads you out of the clinic. Before you know it, you’re back in your room (familiar, warm, the same as it ways this morning) and led swiftly into the attached bathroom.
He pulls you in far enough that he’s able to shut the door behind him, trapping you inside. As if you wouldn’t be trapped by his mere presence. For a moment you wonder if he was bluffing, trying to scare you into submission, but by the time you take another breath he’s running the sink water and tearing into a new box of bar soap.
Your voice catches as you finally speak up. “You--you can’t be serious.”
“What makes you think I’m not serious?” He doesn’t even face you as he speaks. Instead, he turns on the tap and fills a paper cup with water before setting it on the sink’s edge. Next comes the bar of white soap, which grows slick underneath the water. He turns off the tap and lets the excess water drip off, before turning to you, soap bar in hand.
“Open your mouth.”
Your lips press together automatically, and you shake your head. No, no, and no. This isn’t happening.
He sighs, and again the feeling that you’re annoying him creeps under your skin. Why does it bother you that you’re annoying him? It shouldn’t bother you at all, but somehow you feel a pang of regret at how much has changed in less than 24 hours. 
“If you don’t open your mouth willingly, I will open it for you.” He takes a step closer, but your legs feel heavy now, rooted to the spot. It isn’t like there’s anywhere you could run, anyway. “I don’t want to do that,” he continues, voice slightly softened. “Cooperate and open your mouth.”
What choice do you have? You could protest, you could argue, you could leap into the bathtub and make him fight for what he wants. You could keep your mouth shut tight and force him to find a solution. But he is stronger than you, in more ways than one, and he would get his way in the end.
So you make the only choice available to you. Your entire mouth shakes and seems to fight against you as you slowly open your lips in compliance. You feel stupid, standing here with your mouth hanging open.
You can’t reflect on the feeling for long, as he wastes no time in shoving the bar inside your open lips. You can’t help but whimper at the intrusion, but he doesn’t let up and begins methodically scrubbing at your tongue. At first, there’s no taste--then the built-up slick of clinical soap makes itself known, and you take advantage of the soap slipping out of your lips to press them together again, denying him entry.
“Open,” he orders, soft and firm.
And you do, heaving your shoulders in an unreleased whimper. What else can you do but listen? He continues to scrub, this time moving the bar into the side of your mouth to scrub at your teeth. The clammy, greasy feeling of soap coating your teeth makes you curl your wide open lips downward. You must look ridiculous, in all respects, lips gaping in an unpleasant frown as your captor mercilessly soaps the inside of your mouth.
“Do you not like the taste?” His eyes glance over at your frown, and the mockery in his tone is more than blatant. 
“Uhh-uhh,” you mumble, open-mouthed, shaking your head. The position you’re in--Overhaul scrubbing into your mouth, your shaking body, the dim feeling of your bruises and cuts from earlier--makes you feel so painfully exposed. So painfully helpless.
He hums and rests the soap against your tongue. Before you can attempt to move your tongue, lessen the feeling of the taste of the soap against it, he gives you a command.
“Bite down.”
Your teeth sink into the soft bar, keeping it in place, and your whimpers grow stronger at the humiliating order you’ve just obeyed. Could you sink any lower?
You watch him through tear-brimmed eyes as he moves to stand in front of you. You know what’s coming before he even speaks and when he does, it’s no surprise.
“Have I ever hurt you?”
Back to this, again.
You shake your head, mumble around the soap: “No.”
“Are you capable of being on your own?”
You hesitate, and he merely jumps to another question, one far more pointed.
“Have you held a single job for longer than a year?”
You want to protest, but any attempt at complicated speech is marred by the soap--the weight of it, the taste, and your need to keep it steady in your mouth.
“No,” you admit, hating the feel of the bar as your lips press against it with the effort of speech.
“Would you have been evicted if I didn’t pay off your debts?”
“Yes.” Tears sting at your eyes. You want to wipe them away but you’re afraid you’ll get soap in them, somehow.
“Are you responsible enough with money to hold a job, maintain an apartment, and buy yourself the necessities for life without someone else stepping in?”
The soap somehow tastes even more bitter. “No, I can’t.” Your tongue pushes up against the soap at this, and you resolve to keep it to one-word answers only.
“If we didn’t intercept your little outing, would you have attempted to throw up at that restaurant today?”
You shake your head, but it’s a lie, and you know it’s a lie--and he knows it’s a lie. So you nod, weakly. “Mm-hmm.”
“Have I been feeding you healthy meals? Have I been ensuring that you don’t engage in disgusting self-destructive behaviors?”
He has, but that’s not--your mind wants to argue, but you’re so tired and sick and your stomach hurts and the taste of the soap is too much. So you nod, instead.
He nods in response, and you pray that he’ll take the soap out and end this. Instead, he lifts your chin with a single finger, making you keep eye contact as he speaks.
“Do I take care of you?”
“Yes,” you cry out, your words garbled around the wet soap bar. He releases your chin and it’s these words, this final question, that make you break entirely. Your shoulders ache from bruises as you cry, hunching over slightly and watching as some drool-laden soap droplets fall on the floor. “Yes, yes, yes,” you repeat, mechanically, crying around the bitter soap that’s digging into your front teeth.
Satisfied, he takes hold of the bar and waits for you to release it, then tosses it with ease into the trash. You blubber and spit, only succeeding in releasing a trail of soapy drool down your chin. Your tears are hot and stinging as they roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth, you try to say something, but all that comes out is soft cries punctuated by your attempts to spit out the soapy film.  
“Look at you,” he murmurs, bringing a gloved hand up to your cheek and wiping at the tears. “My poor thing. You can’t even speak. You can’t even articulate yourself. How could you ever hope to make it on your own?” His words are soft and cruel and you merely cry harder, humiliated and helpless.
Your throat is sore. Your stomach hurts. You want your warm nightgown on. You want to be in bed. You wish your stomach didn’t hurt so much from eating junk. You wish you weren’t covered in cuts and bruises. You wish you’d just enjoyed the garden and went back inside. You wish you’d never done this at all. You’re so stupid. You’re so stupid.
And you finally say so, all of it, blubbering, bits of soapy drool dribbling out of your mouth as you cry and admit your faults out loud.
After your wrought-out apology dissolves into meaningless whimpers, Overhaul finally grabs the glass of water he set on the edge of the sink, and you gratefully swish the lukewarm liquid with earnest. You lean over the sink and spit, body trembling, then fill the cup again and repeat the gesture again and again to get rid of every bit of white soap stuck in your mouth. Even as you spit, you realize that the taste isn’t going to be completely gone anytime soon--it’s stuck in your mouth like a bad memory.
You jerk when his hands are suddenly on your back, rubber gloves sliding up and down the thin medical gown covering your cold, helpless body. But he merely keeps rubbing, gentle and soothing, while you swish and spit, and cry and cry.
His hands leave your back only to grab a washcloth from the built-in shelves across from the toilet. You watch as he wets the cloth and you stand silently, allowing him to wipe up the drool and soap from your chin, your neck, even a bit on your chest where it dribble-dropped downward.
When you’re all cleaned up, he fills up a cup with mouth wash and silently hands it to you. You gratefully swish it for as long as possible before spitting it into the sink. The soap taste is still there, but lessened somewhat by the overpowering mint of the mouthwash. He gestures to your toothbrush and you pick it up, and begin mechanically brushing your teeth, stopping when the 2-minute timer flashes on the bottom. You instinctively grab your floss without having to be told and make quick work of that, too.
He opens the door to the bathroom, but gestures for you to wait. You do, standing numbly, wishing that he let you have a mirror so you could see your own state. But he doesn’t, and you can’t, and so you wait until he returns with a bundle in his arms.
It’s your pajamas. A soft, pink nightgown--he didn’t pick the soft blue one, tonight, and you’re grateful to avoid any reminders of the medical gown you have on--with matching socks and underwear. You nod and accept the bundle meekly. He turns around and you make quick work of the medical gown, tossing it in the trash yourself before you get dressed for bed.
“M’done,” you mumble, though you quickly realize speaking makes the lingering soap taste stronger. You follow him silently out of the bathroom and into your bedroom, which is just as you left it that morning. The only thing different is you. Subdued, humiliated, helpless.
Overhaul pulls the cover on your bed and you sit down, numb and chastened. You pull your legs up and tuck them under the soft comforter. You’re forcing yourself into the routine you’ve been following for the past few weeks, but the secret thrill you once had of obeying with ulterior movies is no longer there. It’s been replaced by a heavy stillness, the knowledge that you failed in more ways than one. The occasional roll of your stomach reminds you that the night may not be over, bedtime routine be damned.
But you ignore it for now, and you lean your head back on your pillow as he pulls the comforter towards your shoulders, tucking you in. Rather than leave immediately, he sits next to you on the bed, looking down at you with an obsessive, possessive expression in his eyes.
You force down an instinctive flinch when he suddenly begins to stroke the top of your forehead, moving up to pet your hair softly. His gloves are gone. While not completely new, it’s rare--rare enough that the feeling of his bare fingers is still an unusual sensation.
You close your eyes. It usually makes him leave faster. Your heart begins to pound as you hear him stand, as you sense him leaning in, as you feel the ghost of his breath against your face.
“Sweet dreams. We’ll start fresh in the morning.”
What a silly thing to say, you think. Your dreams are never sweet anymore.
882 notes · View notes
sugar-petals · 3 years
Text
sub!Yuzu | nsfw alphabet
🌹 NOTE ⇢ content for our fave figure skater, the legend himself. mr. yuzuru hanyu is 1000% dom candy and i’m here to honor it at length ⛸
— WORDS. 5k
tags + warnings. dom/sub dynamics, femdom!reader, role reversal hc, smut, kinks, cum play, spanking, sex toys, very freaky yuzu, kitten play, mdlb, crying kink, food play, prostate orgasms, bondage, some deeper stuff & angsty bits, asthma mention, aftercare
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  A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Once the cat ears come off, who is Yuzuru Hanyu not to remain in character for a while. For the shits and giggles, and because it’s cozy. Once a catboy, always a catboy, it’s the law of the land. Curling up, kneading at you for the head pats and massages, you know the programme. 
Also: Yuzu is famously soft-spoken and always finds the right thing to say. So, stimulating conversation for the cooldown. This is literally so nice. He’s unafraid to reflect everything in detail, say what he preferred, what you could change up together, what he wants to try next. The afterglow is not just physical, as in you give him something to drink, it’s 70% verbal which is very important to him as a consistent habit.
Of course, not to forget: Always gotta have a Winnie Pooh plushie ready. He embraces it readily and, as we know him, does some roleplay right then and there. Yuzu, professional cutiepie he is, is the kinda sub who treats all plush and pillow stuff as alive and breathing. You as his domme are in on the play and also treat his things as holy as they are to him. That Yuzu lets you into that world is the biggest compliment you can possibly get. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
We all know Yuzu’s godly ass and thighs. Or the staggering waist and beautiful black hair that makes him a total bombshell in his classic comb-back styles. His face is soft and expressive and so damn unique, his legs muscular and long, his back and tummy chiseled, the list goes on and on. Jesus, he has so many great features. All body parts a masterpiece. That are all capable of god-tier contortionism on top of that, gotta mention it in passing. Just so you know if you haven’t seen him bend his every limb into directions you wouldn’t believe are humanly possible. 
Interestingly though. If he chooses, Yuzu picks his feet: They are his most important instrument and weak spot. His ankles are where the magic happens. So, you taking care of them a little would mean the world to him, imagine a candle light massage. Not to worry, no-gross-alert. Yuzu has perfect and cute feet. That’s gonna be a Victorian moment, oh my god I saw his ankles. For his partner, short and simple: He likes a shoulder to lean on. He loves being touchy in general, all body parts are amazing to him. Being in a profession that’s all about the physics, Yuzuru knows about the wonders of the body.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Certified king of cumsluts, doesn’t even hesitate. The more, the merrier. If he’s not covered in sticky stuff, Yuzu would be underchallenged. It’s less about the taste, texture or any degradation, for him it’s the playing around with his tongue. Somebody wants his mouth preoccupied. Give the cat his milk. Feed him his own cum mixed with yours. He’s gonna lap at it and swallow.
Since Yuzu’s dream is a mommy domme baking him something, he just loves the smell of dough and hazelnuts and cinnamon and everything — you know what’s coming: Imagine the food play. Nuts indeed. Anything that even remotely looks like a creampie is something he wants to get his lips on. And Yuzu is not the type to be a foodie at all, let that sink in. Sexual-looking food is just too big a temptation, though. And you spoiling him that way... oh my. Surefire way to end up in bed right after. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Has a butt plug collection. Once almost went on the ice with one in. The more you know. Also— this guy is the kinda type fantasizing to get absolutely railed on a bed of plushies. He has troubles suggesting it to you because he doesn’t want them to get actually dirty. But the idea gets the two of you kind of horny. Sometimes, a thought is better as a fantasy than actually executing it. You can use it for riling up’s sake, whispering it to him during dirty talk. How you’ll bounce on him and ruin him and milk him while he’s splayed out so innocently on your bed. I smell corruption kink. 
Another secret Yuzu keeps is just how much he changed his mind about wanting his partner to control everything in bed. He grew up with a pre-defined ideal type of a cute, nice skater girl who’d let the reins very loosely around him, who he can speak Japanese to because he had problems with English, who is small and someone he will protect. It wasn’t something based on experience and trying things out: It was simply expected of him. People wanted the domineering Yuzuru on ice to be that way in private, and make use of his power, be a man, savior, boss. 
The reality being: He never felt truly as tough on the ice, nor was he gender-conforming in person. In fact, that is what he became famous for, and it reassured Yuzuru very often how people would accept and actually celebrate this side of him. Which is so refreshing, and a sight to see. The side that was dorky, clingy, childish, gorgeous, and cute has always been there, but now he embraces it more as his comfort place. He has to know what he’s doing in his skating programme and show competitive spirit to achieve his dreams, but that’s where it stops.
His former ideals are something people wanted to hear, it was an adaptation of the environment rather than thinking it through on his own. So, years later — oh boy have things changed. Yuzuru no longer defines his ideal type that way, saying whoever he likes is someone he’d be with. What was a fantasy template and filter is now gone and adapted to his newfound, own preferences. Yuzu is comfortably open-minded rather than being a copy to mainstream. He found fun in speaking English, opened up to the world at large, had more girls around him who he could befriend, grew more confident in his stature, and is well aware — turns out he’s the cute one. Who needs to be taken under a wing. He likes strong-minded girls and says if he had a wife, she’d dominate him. Yuzuru secretly wants her to be in charge entirely, she owns his body and soul. Not in daily life where things are just normal and everyone goes about their business. Sexually, where he surrenders instead, and is taken care of.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
The tale of an introvert. What he knows — he hides it well. Has eyefucked a whole lot of people and is the type to lust like mad from a far distance, and nobody will ever know. Crushes harder than peppercorns in a mill. If he loves someone, it lingers in his mind every split second of the day, may god have mercy on him. And if you know him: Yuzu aims too high to keep it light and easy and clumsy. He hates being an amateur, he’s terrified of starting out something. He dreads not knowing what to do, how exactly to behave, talk, touch, breathe, respond, negotiate, prepare. That’s a hundred percent like hell to him.
Ironically, he has a natural feeling for it and he’s literally amazing in bed, has a sense for social interaction is all the way cute with something valuable to say. But what he believes is something way different. Yuzuru is a diehard, nervous perfectionist. He can only think of it as a rated performance since his mind usually has to work that way to skate well. His esteem is on a knife edge depending on how well he thinks he does. So, the inevitable: He will shy away from sex altogether. He draws immense skating passion from staying celibate, in fact it’s his success secret, but it still eats him up from the inside and makes him frustrated beyond measure. Not even for the pleasure, since he’s so ambitious that’s almost forgotten about, but for being told he did well. 
That’s how much he believes sex is a drill and capability test. And it’s sad that he thinks it’s like his skating career, racking up points for the impossible things judges want and being in a deadlock when it comes to showing his artistic side. He feels thrown into cold water if he doesn’t know everything beforehand. If he ever works up the courage, which probably won’t happen, he will pay an expert to learn from rather than let something all over the place happen with a random person or even someone he might like. 
Yes, you heard that right. He’d rather see a sex worker than ‘mess up’ his first time according to his sky-high standards. So, Yuzu’s experience remains limited since he’s so 100% do or die, and so anxious, and so torn about social interaction, he doesn’t get how his peers can be playboys and get married and flirt with someone they like and all that. He sort of has an easier time with guys, but girls... he can’t approach. To top it off, he also feels like he’d burden his first time one somebody or embarrasses himself, so he will reject and avoid suitors. Those are usually not the people he crushes so hard on to begin with. It’s bound to be one-sided and he knows, so he will abstain and focus on career and use the cheers of his fans as a substitute.
Truth is, he feels helpless and distant from sex sometimes, especially with his practice-heavy lifestyle and hyper-smart mind, Yuzuru has an intelligence that exceeds what most people can grasp. He’s alone on the ice and Brian as a coach is often the only reference person who truly gets him, and leads him well without being controlling. But that’s professional life. Sexually, Yuzuru is metaphorically: coachless. He surely observed it well when Javier (the #1 ladies man, his opposite) was still active and a social butterfly helping him fit in, but Yuzu would always be worried about his extreme fame and spotless image when introduced to someone fangirling over him. He’d rather prefer someone who comes across as a mentor and solid, loyal-to-death person to look up to. So he would do anything to have someone benevolent like that. Most girls would expect him to be the sex god and expert, but he knows that’s only half of the story and based on his characters on the ice. Yuzu crafts these to counterbalance how he really is — withdrawn and indirect. 
Yuzu is extremely calculating and selective, he scans suitors well, protects his reputation, and is mortified of failure. So, he’d rather learn it by the book and from someone he’s not emotionally attached to. In a one-night stand that might also be the case, but he doesn’t know what to expect, and he’s absolutely terrified of sudden sexual vulnerability. He himself often says he values his own struggle between feeling so weak and being strong again 
Besides: He’d have problems squeezing hookups into his schedule and lifestyle, he’d have to cut down on things and create a double life. Plus, Yuzu is famously inept with social interaction up close, he flees the noise and unpredictability. So, it’s better to have a long-term partner. If he doesn’t know something yet, he has it down in one day like the single axel. Definitely counts on his partner teaching him.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
We know Yuzu’s signature move is the lean-back Ina Bauer. So, whatever position allows for an arch is the real deal (cough, taking the strap — oh my god his ass is made for it). But anyway, he can pull off anything with that stellar flexibility and core strength. 
If I think about it. Yuzu might like sitting on your lap very much. I know it’s not a sex position, I mean it can be once his inner lapdancer awakens or you use a strap-on, I rather mean... just for some sweet moments and making out. But yeah: Fathom Yuzu gyrating on your like that. Not in an outright lascivious manner or Chippendales style. The Hanyu way, with embellishments and all the grace. This is gonna be a huge turn-on and perfect foreplay position.  
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Not much to elaborate here: Yep, Yuzu is true goofball indeed. Really flustered and clumsy when eye-to-eye in missionary, and yet: He’s ultra serious towards the end, there’s gonna be an aggressive staredown before cumming. The feeling gets pretty intense, his duality between silly and ‘yeah, give it to me’ is no joke.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Would probably die from inflammation if he shaved clean under those tight suits and did all these chafe-heavy skating routines. Doesn’t have a lot of body hair to begin with, but for pits and pubes, it’s alive, wild, and decently long. Out of all people, Yuzu cares particularly about aesthetics, but in this case pragmatism will prevail. He doesn’t care too much about it either as long as it doesn’t get in the way of something. Having sex with Yuzu tends to be well um well all about a hundred types of friction so any stubble would be a bad idea.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
You haven’t seen a guy in love like that. It’s a figure skater thing for sure. Since he works to portray these sentiments on the ice daily, hardly anybody can play up feelings so delicately and palpably like Yuzuru. Emotion is what his entire career is built on. He knows how to express himself directly, appropriately, intimately. Couldn’t be any more romantic. Yuzu can’t go without it. 
Very passionate, ‘for your eyes only’ kind of atmosphere. Yes, he shows off on the ice, it’s his job (although of course, that word doesn’t really sum up what skating means to him). But private Yuzu is someone you can claim as yours. He will make it clear, he wants to belong to you, he’s yours, dedicated, devotion is the entire point. Less with a slant of what some subs like, very hands-on ownership of a mistress. It’s more emotional. He’s really attached and all smitten. Your private little haven is everything to him. 
Talking about little: Yuzu can be quite a pillow prince sometimes. At least when the initiative doesn’t go back and forth as it frequently does, you often alternate with suggestions and ways of tweaking an ongoing play session. You blindfold him or tie his wrists, He might be standard tired from practice or just fascinated to watch you work your magic on him. 
He also likes music to set the tone for intimacy, who’s surprised. Prepare: Yuzu likes dramatic classical music all the way. He’s probably one of the few people who can make it more than ‘classy’ and definitely more than cringe. He selects pieces very well. This is gonna be a practice template to cum together when the music reaches its peak. Makes the whole thing full of adrenaline.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Lots of fun to him. Would beat it 24/7 if the ice wasn’t calling him. Drowns himself in lube. This guy’s me-time is so rated R, Cardi B would be inspired to remix WAP to wet ass penis as an anthem just for him. A dry dick is a ruined day for Yuzuru, as is a session without teasing his prostate in whatever way he currently fancies. Once he tried it, he never went back. The intensity knocking him out is something that Yuzu thinks about all the time. Strokes like a pro, does all these little moans, can do it forever, loves the feeling, chases the high. Adrenaline junkie on the ice? No different with his hand around his cock. 
Will masturbate everywhere in the house and has to really get his head in the game to make sure he won’t ruin any carpets. So, he always has at least two towels with him. In the kitchen, in front of the TV, in the shower, the bed. Watches his fair share of eclectic porn, he gets really desperate. Especially before you started dating, Yuzu would shut himself in until the lotion ran out. Can jack off to something romantic (he starts crying) or something extreme (he loves shocking himself and ). 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Very curious about sadomasochism. Googles a lot of things that make him hard during the day. Often jawdropped by his research, but once he tries things out with you, nothing can really shock him anymore. Absolutely wants to be collared, it’s his biggest fantasy. Another little secret he has, Yuzu is decked out in skating gloves, right. He wishes he could feel you wearing them, or he keeps them on for sex himself, the lacey transparent ones. Looks especially pretty when his wrists are tied so, major photograpy material. Oh yes, Yuzu likes the camera, he can work it. The guy is photogenic in any position and can strike any angle you want. Your phone background is a new Yuzu snapshot every week already, imagine your gallery, 5800 kinky pictures.  
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
I’m gonna say it. The frozen lake out of town, late at night, condoms and lube with you. A quickie that will leave your genitals frozen. Yuzu might get stuck inside you because it’s -15 Celsius. Call that fantasy on ice. Jokes aside: Come on, Yuzu is the biggest ever hermit homebody. The couch will have a bunch of indents after your week-long fucking sessions after he comes home training. Also, at his desk while he does work for university. You ride him, Yuzu studies. Double the ambition. His dick is completely sore. The lake out of town thing might go down, but without sex. Just skating together under the stars, Yuzu doing amazing spins and spirals around you, very very romantic.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Yuzu is a crazed Sagittarius. Have you seen these men? They just want it all. Must be the influence of Jupiter. Zeus was definitely vibing that way. And yes, Yuzu has borderline unhealthy gold medal thinking in bed. He wants to be not just good but damn good with pleasing you. If you don’t have a good time and head home without an orgasm, he’ll consider himself a failure. Yuzu won’t cut himself any slack there. You’d have a hard time changing his ways into something more chill and moderate. Instead, you will see the benefits of rolling with it once you see how improvement fuels him and does make sex really mindblowing.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Couldn’t do things like slapping you, spanking. Yuzu makes for a terrible daddy dom, it’d not suit him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Cum-dripping oral mess, Yuzu is the brave kind. Totally into it, and can’t resist a good blowjob. Will act different afterwards, there’s a lot of erotic tension. “This evening again?” is what those eyes are saying.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Outstanding kinesthetic intelligence. Every inch of his body follows his intent, and yours if you have him take on certain ways of kneeling. Yuzu can do it all, whatever you want. Tantalizing, moderato, overwhelmingly fast. He can take it, he can portray it. And knows the value of a pause like a true connoisseur. Not just when he wants to prevent cumming early, also just because the moment is right. That’s why cockwarming is a staple, as well as you having him wait patiently for kisses. To top it off: If you give him a blowjob, building up the tension by doing nothing is damn effective. The ruined orgasms you’re gonna give him... delicious.
Everything’s gonna have nice transitions as well, no awkward climbing and rolling and tangling limbs. If he gets something from another room that you need, no slouching. The university course as good as the extracurricular activities. Being inconsistent with any subsidiary details? Not in the Hanyu household, he’s keeping it classy. Yuzu feels like if he makes the bridges to new positions even remotely messy, the feeling is killed and it’s as if he’d break character mid-skate. Although he’ll have to practice and refine and test a lot of things because he’s not super experienced and adapting to your own movements is an individualized thing to do, he’s a masterclass of quality, period.
Even when things get fast and heated, nothing feels off. Having that kind of body smartness also means: Yuzu learns by touch, whatever you do. He knows by the way you pull his hair what comes next. How much saliva drips off your tongue when you suck at his neck, he knows how hard you’ll to ravage him in five minutes. This guy observes things you aren’t even conscious of because his physical understanding is just so fine-tuned.
The sense of rhythm, and every skating programme of him will showcase that, unbeatable. Unless his mood is really impacted by something severe, your guy feels it in every bone. He’s an artist, after all, he listens to music all the time. Dissecting rhythms to turn them into movement is what his line of work is all about. The pace will always fit the mood. Everything is precise, but never crude. Instead, the way he moves is dictated by an inherent flow. With little accents that match right with any thrust, like putting his hands on your sides when you’re on top of him.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Hit it Shakira: Whenever, wherever! He seemingly carries an entire condom factory with him. Or, to be more exact: At least three of them.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
This one’s a complicated case. Yuzu being reckless on the ice may or may not mirror in your private life. He might need some downtime, so bring out the soft domme stuff. No trial and error stuff, just going through a routine of things you love the most. On the other hand, he always gives it all. This guy’s endurance at your hands is amazing. Advanced kinds of BDSM he will not feel deterred from at all. Rough toys, anal hooks, sounding, whips, why not is Yuzu’s motto. But then again. He has such a confusing mix of innocence and feeling like he’s completely hardcore. You might end up experimenting a lot, but also not daring the leap sometimes because the mood is different. And then rather go for softer hours, where Yuzu will be all shy shy and more bursting with excitement than ever. A good, interesting mix is what I’m saying.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Yuzuru, once he gets a bit of practice to gauge the situation... Viagra on two legs, absolute unexpected powerhouse. You might end up pondering to work out a little and go for a run because this guy is in a consistently outstanding shape to say the least. Olympic athletes are literally hard to fuck with. And since Yuzu is starfishing sometimes (which is very adorable), or he’s in bondage for some time, that presents a further problem: For a second round, he’s full of energy, while you already spent energy. So, you alternate with who’s active, and the other leans back entirely. He has to remind himself since his body is programmed for it: This is no contest — the point is feeling good.
You might ride him reverse cowgirl all the way while you watch TV, and after the overstimulation fades he will eat you out ad nauseam, full course slobbering, sweeping the whole menu. That way, it’s less about keeping up with him, which would be hard for most people not doing sports at his galactic level. He understands, Yuzu knows he’s not normal in that regard, you don’t have to worry. Some exercise still doesn’t hurt, just to further increase the quality of sex anyway.
Then again: Why go jogging and do some laps wasting valuable together time when Yuzu’s lap is the best workout? And running doesn’t guarantee your stamina in bed is perfect even if it does help. You rather wanna manage how to draw out the arousal. It’s a self-control thing, with the goal of having you match up in every aspect as good as you can. In which case, you can count on him to pull it off: Have you seen Yuzu doing jumps side by side with a bunch of female skaters? Copy paste. This guy knows how to synchronize with the ladies.
Something that has to be mentioned beside that, though. Yuzu has asthma since 2 years old, and it’s often a mind thing to him still these days. He doesn’t let it stop him from sleeping with you because as always, he’s not letting anything get in his way. He has learned to live and thrive with it. But you both have to mind the possibility of an attack, he prevents it with inhalers, and the mood plays a crucial role. Yuzu being comfortable and confident is so important to his breathing, and keeping a good rhythm rather than being chaotic in bed. So, you will plan most of your sexual activities rather than improvising. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Would stuff an entire sex shop into his every available orifice. Yuzu is a toy freak, he wants to try everything. Motto: a new one every day. Well, almost. But he can afford it. Buys stuff he uses solely on himself, things you use on him, things he uses solo and you use on him, and as the cherry on top, every possible high end vibrator on the market for you. Any size, too. This bitch will browse through the latest innovations, prepare to get off. He’s obsessed with seeing you use it on yourself. Yuzu owns a separate phone just for videos of you buzzing your clit, and him fingering you for minutes and minutes. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Extremely so. Loves to be a total brat only to get put into his place. He does it so you’ll pull the chin grab on him. He likes getting choked out as a punishment as well. Yuzu also tends to be very around the corner if you will when it comes to soft subbing, he lays over expecting cuddles but doesn’t say so. Buds his head against your chest, nuzzles, and so on. Lighter forms of teasing come to him very easily. Loves to prompt. Roughhousing, banter, favorite thing.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Moderately loud because his voice is very very light, but unsurprisingly — he’s just beautiful. What a nice tone. Gorgeous whimpering sounds. And when you go hard on him, voice cracks! And really heavy breathing. What’s gonna be the most striking though is his expressiveness. We know it from the ice and interviews, and he can really amp it up even further. No need for screaming, that face will speak the volumes.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
You’ll be blessed with him if you have a huge crying kink. Yuzu definitely opens the waterworks every other week in bed. Happy tears, horny tears, relief tears, aftercare tears, orgasm tears, masochist tears, romantic tears, subspace tears, he has it all. He also begs for the type of pain that makes it stream down his face for minutes. He’s touchy-feely all the way and feels like he can really connect with you that way.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
His ass twitching is kind of a spectacle, but I don’t have to tell you, do I. Yuzu has muscles for the gods in there. So voluptuous, you can’t call it any other way. Big booty boyfriend, Jesus you can show him off, he loves it. Around the house, he will flaunt them big ole athlete buns in particular, acting like it’s unintended. Um, Yuzu, those are joggings. Smack it, he is sure to moan. 
And may I respectfully mention as well — this guy has some major big ass balls figuratively and literally. How else would someone be motivated to jump a triple axel like it’s nothing. Not kidding, they’re big and round and ugh. His love for tight pants doesn’t help. He knows what your eyes like and dresses just to flex the goods. Screams for more spanking and pinching if you ask me. Yuzu is definitely serving it. Well-endowed, you lucky girl.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Mega horny, ready when you are. On a scale from zero to hundred? Breaching into the 90 percent right there. Yuzu’s hormones are literally insane. On paper he’s 26, but his dick wants the 18th birthday party. Jesus is he gonna be clingy when he’s in the mood. All wrapped around you in a backhug in the kitchen or when you iron a costume of his, and that’s sexy of him. He’s not gonna hide what’s filling out those sweatpants. He’ll desperately grind up against you like it’s Christmas.
Paired with his puppy eyes and little “Do you have some time... I’ll iron this tomorrow” — instant pounce. He’s admittedly a bit hard to keep up with sometimes, though. The reason: With that level of exercise, he has major pent-up energy. That machine is definitely running. Heavy sports changes your hormones, nervous system, and especially blood flow. Now take that to the scale of his performances and regimens? That equals a firework of horny. No wonder he masturbates all the time.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Takes some time. He cools down, sweats it out, chugs water. However, don’t underestimate how tired Yuzu can already be. His daily routines and competitions have a toll on him. Ironically, he’s not a deep sleeper, however. Yuzu might toss and turn and have sudden energy bursts, or ideas, or gets hungry. So, he needs his plushies, he needs a weighted blanket, warm pajamas, a hot cup of his favorite warm drink, a light snack, and you by his side. Spooning him excessively and sometimes even humming to him. Yuzu looks like a certified angel on his pillow, his well-deserved rest from everything is so important, too.
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NOTE - hope i could indulge you, thank you for reading!
© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed. depictions fictional.
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bonky-n-steeb · 3 years
Text
𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸
𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾
𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍
𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬:  Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦:  psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.
ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ
My previous account was deleted so I’ll be posting the stories again. I’ll be changing this one, so yeah.
Inform me if y’all wanna be tagged!
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You stared at the ticking clock, counting the seconds for his return, while Iris played with her stuffed tiger that her dada had bought for her. Her father was finally coming home after serving for a really long time in the military. Bucky was everything you had wanted and more. 
Though you both had a small and cute wedding when you were way too young, it still was one of the best days of your life. Since the day you had met him, he had been hell bent on joining the army as he somehow felt the need to protect people after what had happened to his father. So, after serving his first term, while you were still a second-year graduate student, he had proposed and you had accepted without wasting a second.  
Soon you had found yourself pregnant, during your pregnancy, he had been there for your every beck and call. You still remembered his face when Iris was born; it was filled with such adoration and love, you knew you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Iris was literally the female version of her dad, her cute nose, her lips and most importantly her blue eyes; her eyes had played a small role in naming her.
Having a kid and completing your medical residency had been tough, but whenever Bucky was home, he took care of all the housework and kept Iris busy for as long as possible. Just one thing which you didn’t like was all this time he spent away from home and the immense risk that came along with being on active duty. But he wasn’t just your Bucky, was he, he was Sgt. Barnes, too.  
But now as you sat staring at the clock, you feared that when he returned, Bucky wouldn't be the same man he was. While on duty, there had been an explosion and he had lost his arm. Hearing his voice on the phone was enough to tell you that he was broken. You were waiting to take him in your arms and tell him that it would be fine.
Just then the bell rang and you quickly got up and unlocked the door. And there he was, his eyes without their usual luster, filled with unshed tears. As Iris ran towards him, he quickly scooped her up in his right arm. “dada! I missed you s’much” she said kissing his face. You wondered whether she didn’t notice or was simply ignoring his missing arm after you gave her a little ‘talk’ about it. “I missed you too Rissie! I love you my little princess!” he said smothering her with kisses. “I'm a Queen!” she exclaimed. “Alright your majesty. Now may I enter your palace and meet my wife?” Iris pretended to think and then exclaimed a yes.  
“Hey, don’t cry” he said as he dropped Iris down. You hadn't even noticed that you were crying. You quickly wrapped him in your arms and he held you tight, fearing that you might slip away. You both didn’t speak for a long time, you were too busy being buried in each other's neck, but then you felt the moisture collect on your shoulder. As you let go, you realized his dam had broken and he was crying too.  
“I love you Bucky bunny” you said playfully. Somehow long back, you had come up with this nickname while watching Looney Tunes; your magnificent brain had somehow morphed Bugs Bunny into Bucky bunny. He pretended to hate it saying it sounded like some porn stars name, and therefore you teased him even more. “I love you too.” he replied staring deep into your soul.
☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎
As you both retired to your bedroom after ensuring Iris was fast asleep, you simply laid in bed without talking. Your hands were quietly exploring the same planes of his body you had travelled a million times over. You hesitated to touch his arm at first, fearing whether he was comfortable with it or not. But as you slowly began to trace the scars, he let out a long breath.  
You wished he didn’t have to suffer this; you wished all went to the way it was previously; you wished that his eyes shone just as brightly as they did before. But that didn’t mean you loved him any less now. Though throughout the day he pretended to be just fine, you knew he wasn’t even close to being fine.  
“Are you going to leave me?” he finally broke the silence. You couldn’t help but give him a confused expression, why would he ask that? “You don’t have to pretend. Not with me. Just say and I'll go. I don’t want to be a burden to you... ” you shut him up by kissing him. “I am not leaving you Buck. I’m gonna stick with you like an octopus.” you said chuckling. “Buck, we’ll go through everything and anything if we are together. I just want you to be happy. We'll make it work; we will find a way. And trust me when I say I love you more than anything.”
You spent the entire night, tangled in each other, telling him how much you loved and cherished him.
☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎
You were tired and your back was aching after performing a long surgery. As you opened the door, you were greeted with the smell if your favorite dish being cooked in the house. As you walked straight to the kitchen you were stunned to see Bucky somehow managing to cook with Iris sitting on the kitchen counter. Though the kitchen was a mess, you weren't going to complaint, all you could see was the blinding happiness on his face.
“Look who is back! Guess what mama bear?” Bucky said joyously. You wondered what was the reason behind his joy. “Daddy is gonna get his arm back!” Rissie exclaimed happily. This wasn’t news to you though. You had talked to Bucky about getting a prosthetic arm and he hadn't been half this excited. Seeing your confusion Bucky responded “Well, I got a call this morning. They are not only giving me my job back but giving me a cool new arm. I'll be on duty again!”  
You weren't sure whether to be happy or sad. You were euphoric about Bucky’s job and arm but at the same time you were worried for his life. “That’s amazing Buck!” you hugged him tightly as Iris slipped between you two. Your eyes were filled with happy tears. He was happy and that’s all that mattered right now.
☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎
FOUR YEARS LATER
You finally had a holiday from your hectic schedule as a surgeon. Iris was off to school and after some pushing you had persuaded Bucky to go get groceries. You wondered what had happened to Bucky. Something had changed after he got that arm, rather everything had changed. He wasn’t lively anymore, he got irritated at small things, stared off absently into space not responding to anything, he constantly looked behind his back, nor did he laugh at any of your jokes, you missed his laughter and that's what hurt you the most.  
Not to mention the horrid dead blank stare he gave you some days, intently looking at your every move like a predator, that thing scared the shit out of you. In the past two years not once you and Bucky had accepted Thor’s dinner invitations. You didn’t have many friends, you just had one, Thor. He was with you since your residency and you both worked together as trauma surgeons. Bucky and Thor had become quick friends too and the three of you went on many double dates. But that was a thing of the past. Now, whenever Thor invited you, Bucky simply came up with a stupid reason to not go. Bucky had become so closed off; he wasn’t the thoughtful and jolly Bucky you fell in love with.
Now that you finally had the house to yourself, you had decided to go on a cleaning spree. Currently you were in your bathroom; busy cleaning with your mop, when you accidentally slipped on some spilt soap water and ended up falling right beside the bathtub, your mop flew up and hit the ceiling tiles, thus displacing them. Suddenly a small diary fell right on your head. Placing your right hand on the ledge of the bath tub, you waited for everything to settle down and cursed loudly. “Fuck you, you goddamning son of a bitch! Everything had to fall on my head! Pathetic!”.  
You saw that you mop as now dangling on the bath tub and that stupid diary which had apparently fallen from heaven knows where was laying right beside you. As you looked up, you noticed the displaced tiles and realized that’s where this must have fallen from. As you picked up the diary you noticed there wasn't any dust on it, so there wasn't a chance that the previous owners might have left something in the false ceiling above. And it definitely wasn’t you, Iris was too small to keep something there; that only left Bucky. But why did he never mention this diary before. What exactly was he hiding?
As you opened the diary, you realized that you couldn’t understand a single word written. It felt as it was written in some highly complex code language. You were sure it wasn’t any language spoken everyday by sane humans. As you flipped through the pages you realized that every page was written in the same format. At the top was presumably some names written in the code and the rest was probably the information of that person.  
You wondered how did Bucky know this language? And why didn’t he ever tell you about anything, heck, he didn’t even mention it. And whose names had he written like it was the most confidential file? You got up and quickly closed the lid on the toilet and climbed up on it. You stuck your hand inside the hollow ceiling above to check if he was hiding something more.  
Your hand caught something and you pulled it out, only to realize it was a laptop. You wondered why he needed a second laptop when he already had one for work purposes in the home office. You took the laptop and the diary and sat down in the bathroom itself, so that if you when you would hear Bucky come you would simply put everything back up in the ceiling. You opened the laptop and saw it was password protected. You decided you would have two tries at unlocking the laptop and if you didn’t crack it, you would simply confront him.  
You first tried out typing Iris's name and her date of birth. But it was denied access. You thought for a minute more and entered your own name and your birthdate. And access was granted to you. You didn’t know whether to be happy that he had kept your name as his password or angry that he had been lying to you about whatever this was. As the laptop opened, you saw various files in it. You tapped on one and it seemed to open on a person’s resume. No, it wasn’t a resume, it was that person’s entire life history. It was like those files the assassins carried in movies with all the information about their target. You wondered what Jason Bourne shit this was.
As you read his name and saw the photos attached with it, you felt as if you had seen this person before. As you scrolled further, it finally clicked. A year before this person, who held a high position in the United Nations, was all over the news due to his untimely death caused by a heart attack. You had absolutely no interest in worldly matters, you already had a million problems on your head so you hadn't paid much attention and had not given a flying fuck. But now suddenly sweat was covering your forehead. You were worried sick as to why Bucky had all this information stored in a secret computer.
As you scrolled further, you almost reached the end of the file and that’s when you saw the video. With shaky hands you opened it. It seemed to be the security footage of that man’s bedroom and its resolution was pretty shitty. For the first few minutes all you saw was the man sleeping peacefully but as the video continued, you noticed it. The window in his room was slowly lifted as a man entered. He seemed to be dressed in tactical gear, his face was covered by a mask, but he was given away by one tell-tale sign. His arm. The metal arm with a red star on it glinted in the moonlight and you knew it was Bucky.
You watched as Bucky quietly walked towards the sleeping man. As he stood near the bed, he produced something from his pocket and bent down. As you strained your eyes, you saw that it was an injection. Your eyes widened as you clapped your hand around your mouth. That man hadn't died due to a heart attack, at least not natural. He was murdered by Bucky!
You opened another file, then another, they all were the same. In the beginning it was the information about the person, then a report as to how they died and then a video. All of them were well known figures; and all of them had been assassinated by Bucky. In one of the videos, you saw him choking the life out of a man with his metal arm and your mind wandered to the many times you would playfully tell him to choke you with the metal arm while fucking you; your hand unconsciously went to your throat at the thought.  
Then you opened a file titled: The Winter Soldier. That was weird you thought, the other files were given numbers but not names. As you opened the file, you realized it was Bucky’s own. Apparently, his codename was The Winter Soldier. Everything about him was stated in that file systematically. His background, his education, his military career and the worst of all, there were your and Iris’s photos too. As you continued to read, you realized he wasn’t working in the military anymore. Four years before, the people who had called him were from an organization named Hydra. The name and symbol itself sent chills down your spine. God, was Bucky so stupid, the octopus symbol itself screamed that Hydra was up to no good.
In the beginning, you couldn’t believe Bucky had gotten such a fancy and technological advanced arm. Looking at it you wondered how much it cost, the material and the functions would make it no less than a few million dollars. Now why would the government spend so much money on a sergeant, not that Bucky didn’t deserve it but you were curious.  
It felt as if he was hiding something from you. But you didn’t as ask as you knew he’d come around and tell you soon anyway. He needed time and you had plenty to give. But he never did. You had asked so many times whether the star was a tattoo of some sort and he had always deflected your questions. But now after reading this, you knew what all this was for. The arm, the pay raise, the irregular schedule, it was all Hydra. And Bucky was a professional assassin, and that too a deadly one.
Your eyes watered and bile rose to your throat as you saw a list, it was all the people he had killed, and the list was pretty big. You quickly placed the laptop besides you and began to puke your guts out in the toilet. In all the panic you failed to notice that a person was holding back your hair and soothingly rubbing your back.  
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gamergirl-niffler · 3 years
Text
Wife’s Touch Part 2 - Male!Eivor x Reader
PART I
I actually really liked the first part... and I guess some people liked it too... I mean it actually got some notes
So! I sat and even when no one asked wrote part two
BIG AND AMAZING THANKS TO MY ONE AND ONLY @arthurbristow​ FOR CHECKING THIS MESS :3 LOVE YA!
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It again pokes the main story SO BE WARNED! Just in case if someone didn’t finish the story yet.
Since Sigurd returned home, things changed. He changed. The good Jarl that loved his people dearly changed into a harsh leader.
It was hard to spot him outside his room like before, most of the time he spent away from everyone.
No one could blame him for this. Everyone heard that happen to him. They heard Eivor's story and the missing arm was a harsh reminder of the hard time Sigurd had been through.
Despite all this, people did their best to live their daily lives.
———————————————————————
You sat right outside the long house, enjoying the warm sun on your skin. This was what you needed, your body started to change and it needed rest.
Suddenly, there was a kiss placed on your forehead. Opening your eyes you saw a familiar person. Person you were bonded with in front of the Gods, many winters back.
"Enjoying the weather, I see. How do you feel my love?," Eivor asked, kneeling in front of you to place a kiss on your now bigger belly.
This was why you loved Eivor. Eivor was a ferocious warrior, strong and dangerous. He could split a man in half with one swing of his axe, he killed the whole army barehanded yet his soul was gentle and poet-like. Your husband was easily changing from warrior into loving man.
Your hand moved into his nicely done hair, of course they were nice. You made those braids yourself this morning. "I do enjoy the weather, love. I cannot spend whole days in our room. As much as I love our bed, staying there for too long can get boring."
"You never were the one to sit in place for too long. I remember when we were young, you were running around like a snow hare. It's even harder to forget what was happening once you started to wield the sword and shield," Eivor chuckled and placed one more kiss on your tummy before getting up to sit next to you.
You giggled as your thoughts returned to the times of childhood and the time when King Styrbjorn brought young Eivor to the settlement, announcing that the boy is now his son.
Your mother explained to you what happened and it became your goal to befriend that boy and make him smile again. You two became friends and then warriors, fighting, hand in hand. Later stuff went in an even better direction.
Your state was the proof of it.
"I know and I don't regret the past nor the present. I am more than happy to be by your side and carry your child."
Your husband gave you a smile and leaned in to place a kiss on your lips, which you gladly accepted.
The sweet moment was interrupted by someone clearing his throat.
It was Sigurd, of course he wanted something from his brother. "As much as I don't want to deprive a wife of her husband, I need to talk with Eivor."
You didn't want to let him go, not yet but there was no other choice.
Sigurd knew you for years, you were friends for years but in his current state you didn't want to unnecessarily get under his skin.
"Very well, I think the little one demands a nap. I'll see you soon,” you kissed Eivor's cheek before going back to the longhouse
———————————————————————
You used to be a warrior or just a useful person that liked to help around but since the pregnancy started you slept a lot. Thankfully now Eivor was in settlement on daily bases which made your sleep much calmer.
Your nap again took a few hours out of your life. You woke up to the pair of yellow eyes, watching you.
Of course the wolf was here. Giggling, you sat up and scratched Chewy behind his ears. "Aren't you a great companion?"
After some cuddles with the wolf you got up from bed and walked out of the room. You noticed Eivor standing over the map and talking to Randvi.
Walking closer you could hear their talk.
"It may be time to return to Norway. Sigurd is eager to see his father and... and beyond that, I do not know," Eivor said as he looked at the map.
"I have heard ill news about Styrbjorn in the past year. If you go, go with care," Randvi said.
You watched him nod and pierce the map with the dagger.
"We will leave now. And return as soon as we're able."
Those words made you freeze.
He wanted to go NOW? Back to Norway?! It was to travel for many days and gods know how long they will be there then they need to come back. You didn't want him to leave, you didn't want to be away from him.
Sigurd was mad and he followed him, what if they won't come back this time?
"Eivor...," Your voice already cracked.
He looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes and sighed.
Eivor didn't expect you to hear the talk, he wanted to go to you and explain it himself but here you were.
Your fragile figure shaking a little from the sudden wave or fear, eyes getting more and more shiny.
"My love...," He said quietly, moving closer to wrap his arms around you.
"I am sorry for leaving in such a rush. I wanted to tell you as soon as I was done talking to Randvi."
You nodded and nuzzled him, whimpering quietly.
"Why do you need to leave? I don't want you to go... Please stay with us,"
Honestly you had no idea where those feelings came from.
"Y/N. Listen to me," Eivor said quietly and pressed his forehead to yours.
"Whatever Sigurd is planning, I need to make sure my brother is safe. We will come back as soon as possible. I promise you that."
You looked at him, biting your lips. Of course he would follow Sigurd just... Why now? He was going mad and Eivor still went after him. You always thought that the bond between them was wonderful but this was too much.
"Eivor... I..."
"I know what you are thinking but you know you can trust me. Whatever he wants to do, I will make sure we are both safe," Eivor whispered, gently touching your cheek with his rough fingers.
Closing your eyes you took a deep breath, simply enjoying the touch and closeness.
After your nerves calmed down you opened your eyes and nodded with a soft smile.
"I trust you, Eivor."
"I swear on my honor. I will return to both of you, alive and well," He promised, touching your belly.
"Try not to... And I will pull you out from Valhalla myself," You muttered and Evior chuckled before pulling you into a slow kiss.
You returned the kiss, grabbing the hem of his cloak.
Soon he pulled away to place another kiss on your forehead. "Randvi will keep an eye on you."
"Of course I will. Everyone will. She will be safe Eivor," Randvi nodded, walking closer to the two of you.
"Travel safe and keep each other safe, Eivor. We will be waiting," She said, wrapping arms around your shoulders.
You smiled at Eivor and nodded.
"I will pray to Gods for a safe return. For both, you and Sigurd."
Eivor and you shared the last good bye and he left.
It still felt wrong, you wanted to have him close but you also couldn't keep him in one place for too long.
———————————————————————
Days had passed. Every day was almost the same.
You woke up with white beast in your bed, you prayed, you helped Randvi or anyone who needed help, you prayed, you waited in the docks and then ate and went to sleep.
Every day was full of unshown fear.
All you wanted was to get your husband back with you.
Your every moment was filled with quiet prayer. No matter what you were doing, the prayer was stuck in your head. "Please bring my husband and his brother back safely."
———————————————————————
One evening you decided to visit dear Valka and help her a little. Whatever could keep you busy was just perfect.
Valka smiled as soon as she saw you walking into her hut. "Y/N, how are you? And the little one?"
You returned the smile and nodded, touching your belly. "Everything is fine so far."
"I can feel you are worried. Scared even," She hummed.
You chuckled. Of course she would know, despite your smiles. It was Valka after all. Suddenly you were hugged.
"You don't need to worry. Eivor will come back to you. The night will be filled with happiness. Now come, I could use another pair of hands."
It was a mystery what she meant. She often liked to speak in riddles and you already got used to it.
The work Valka gave you was really easy. Nothing more than just organizing and preparing some of the herbs she collected during the day.
It was relaxing and the nice smell of plants smoothed your nerves.
"Y/N! Y/N! They are back!" Tove said happily as she walked inside the hut all excited.
You gasped and quickly went to the longhouse when Tove went to inform others.
The building was empty and quiet, illuminated by many torches but he was there.
Eivor stood there with Sigurd, he looked just as proud as always.
You thanked all the gods that both returned home happily.
"Eivor!,” You said happily and your feet immediately carried you to your husband.
"My love,” Eivor smiled and wrapped you in a hug as tight as possible of course without hurting you or the little one.
You nuzzled him and just then heard him hiss and groan. Pulling away you noticed some of the blood coating his tunic.
"It's alright my dear. It's nothing serious, we can take care of this later," he said as if he was hearing your thoughts.
Looking around he frowned. "We missed a great feast, it seems."
Then you realized your husband was right.
All the tables looked as if they were right after the feast or prepared for it to start. This was odd, since you did not recall any feast planned for tonight.
"Eivor..." Sigurd said getting your and Eivor's attention.
The older brother gestured to the throne. "Sit a moment... and rest."
"Sigurd." Eivor was unsure of it all. This wasn't his place, he wasn't much of a ruler.
"Go on, love," you said quietly and gently touched his shoulder, trying to encourage him.
Hesitantly Eivor walked to the throne and slowly took a seat on it, getting comfortable in the seat. He looked at his older brother who gave him an approving nod.
You couldn't stop looking at him.
Eivor looked so proud, perfect in this place. Even if he was always saying that he isn't a leader, you simply knew he was made for this. He will be a great jarl.
Randvi joined the three of you and after a brief talk about men's travel Tove brought everyone in.
"Eivor returned! Inside, at the hearth! Come!"
Sigurd decided to walk away and sit down at one of the tables
Few of the people carried torches, adding more light in the long house.
Giving Eivor a sweet smile you stepped aside to let Randvi speak.
"Eivor? Randvi? What is this? Is everything all right?,” Gudmund asked.
Randvi shook her and looked at Wolf Kissed over her shoulder.
"Our Jarl has returned... to lead us forward into an uncertain future. Will you speak to your people?"
Eivor looked at you for any kind of help. He looked nervous, not sure of it all.
You just gave him a sweet smile, assuring him that he can do it. After all, your husband did harder things than that.
"For love and joy, words can jade. Our souls must sound in a heartful song. And when... no, no," shaking his head he got up from the throne and walked closer to all the people he called friends.
"You are less mine than I am yours. And I ask of you only this, keep me honest in the times to come."
The Long House was quiet.
People looked at Eivor and each other.
The sudden change of Jarl was for sure a big surprise for everyone but it for sure wasn't unwelcomed.
Bragi broke the silien with a song and soon everyone joined, so did you.
In just a few minutes this special moment changed into a big feast.
Feast filled with family, friends, joy and singing.
It was hard to remember the last time that the whole settlement was so full of happiness.
Such moments were rare but they were honest, this was the most important.
———————————————————————
You and Eivor returned to your shared bedroom really late at night. Other people stayed up to have more fun but you needed your sleep and Eivor was happy to follow you.
"You didn't tell me about the wound," You frowned, noticing the wound on his belly.
Eivor looked down on the said wound; the souvenir of the fight with Basim.
He nodded and gave you a little smile.
"I did not because there was no need to worry you. This wound is shallow."
Letting out annoyed sighs, you nodded as he sat down on the bed. You immediately moved to sit right behind him.
Your hands moved into his hair, loosening the braids and combing through Eivor's beautiful blond hair with your fingers.
Your husband hummed and quickly relaxed thanks to your touch. It was nice to feel a familiar touch after weeks of fighting.
You worked until his hair were completely loose and than you placed a gently kiss on the scare on the right side of his nape
"My beloved husband."
Eivor smiled and then turned around to lie down with you right by his side.
Watching you he smiled.
"My beautiful wife who is carrying our child. I can't wait for the little one to be here. I hope your days were calm when I wasn't here."
"Yes, the little one was really calm," You chuckled, touching your belly. "I was the worried one."
He nodded and took the big fur to cover both of you. Once this was done Eivor pressed his forehead to your and closed his eyes, you did the same.
"Rest now. No need to worry any longer. I am here and I will protect both of you."
You smiled a little and nuzzled him. He was back home, this was what you both needed. Soon both of you fell asleep.
———————————————————————
Morning was something you loved the most most. Getting ready for the day was always fun.
"You know. Since you are our Jarl now. I think I will braid your hair differently. Something that speaks; Leader," You hummed, looking at Eivor's hair.
He laughed warmly and nodded. "Very well, I put myself and my hair at your mercy, wife."
"Oh don't worry, you will look beautiful as always. I will make sure of it."
Braiding Eivor's hair took you longer than you expected but you were really proud with your hand work.
He looked more handsome than ever, honestly you were surprised that it's even possible.
The two of you walked out of the room, holding hands.
You noticed Eivor frowning a little more than you noticed what he saw.
His brother stood next to the entrance to a map room, his arms crossed over his chest. Sugurd didn't look happy, he looked concerned.
"Sigurd...," Eivor asked, moving closer to his brother gently pulling you behind himself.
"Eivor. Before you say more, I must tell you something. Randvi and I have... Have ended our marriage," He said slowly.
You gasped quietly a bit shocked but on the other hand you understand it.
Everyone knew their marriage was the complete opposite of yours and Eivor's.
Yours came out of love when there was an arrangement.
"I am sorry to hear that," Eivor said softly.
You wanted to add something but Sigurd was quicker than you.
"Ah, do not be. Both of you. We adore one another dearly, but our marriage was not built on love. We were brought together as an act of peace. I was pledged to her well before I knew her. And though we have tried to settle our differences and find love in our faults..." He shook his head. "It has not worked out. And so we have dissolved our bond. Yet as a clan, we will grew together."
"Then I'm glad for you both. And for the rest of us. This place would not be the same without you two," Eivor agreed, nodding.
You also nodded eagerly. "That is the truth, Sigurd. Our settlement would feel empty without both of you."
Sigurd smiled at you. "Y/N. My dear sister in law, I owe you an apology. I haven't been too kind to you lately, it was all because of my clouded mind," he placed hand on your belly.
"Please, forgive me for this behaviour. I can't tell you how happy and thankful I am for everything you do for my brother. I hope your child will be as strong as he is and as beautiful as you are."
You giggled and nodded. "Thank you Sigurd and really. It was nothing, I understood everything."
Man nodded his head and pointed at Eivor.
"And you, little brother. Keep her safe and close, if you ever let her go or hurt her... I will kick your ass." Eivor laughed loudly and nodded. "I promise on my honor and life and all the gods."
You smiled and squeezed his hand. "Oh I know it all, I don't need to promise anything my love."
After this little talk, Sigurd walked away.
You and Eivor decided to go for a walk, just to enjoy each other. You could already tell that better times were here and you couldn't wait for more.
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babayagakeanu · 3 years
Text
How Will I Know? -part one
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Pairing: Jethro Gibbs/reader 
Summary: in which the reader is hopelessly in love with her boss, who is completely oblivious.
Warnings: none for now
Word count: 1397
A/N: This is my first chapter fic/Gibbs fic ever so pls be nice 🥺
Your boss was known for his elusiveness to technology. He still didn’t know how to properly search the internet on his phone, nor send a comprehendible text. The team and you had teased him for months about his typo on “Caesar salad” in which he actually typed “sexual salad”. You all were confused as to how he managed to type that bad of a typo, but nevertheless, teasing ensued. Tony was doing the most of it while you and Kate were giggling into your paperwork. Gibbs had managed to crack a smile while also getting up to smack  Tony in the head. You were just finishing up the case that the team just solved, and you were looking forward to having a few drinks with your co-workers. You were going to Kate’s after you finished up at your desk to get ready with her before carpooling to the pub that McGee and Abby picked out. 
“Gibbs, are you coming to the pub with us?” Abby asked Gibbs, sitting down in McGee’s lap as he typed some things into the computer. Gibbs grunted, looking up from his papers, stopping to sip his coffee before answering. “Uh, yeah. Sure, why not?” Your stomach sank, knowing that Gibbs was going to be there tonight worried you. Now, you really had to figure out what to wear and how to style your hair. “I might even bring the red-head I met while on the job last week.” You couldn’t stand to hear another word of this so you moved from your desk, setting the file down on Gibbs’ desk, and walking out of the office without a word. Gibbs noticed this, and watched as you left, a pang leaving his gut feeling empty. 
Kate’s apartment was cute, decorated well and felt homey. You had entered with a large duffle bag stuffed with different outfit options and all the makeup you had. 
“Jeez, Y/n, are you going away for a week?” Kate snorts, leading you into the large bedroom in which you two would get ready in. “How are you feeling after today?” You sighed, knowing full well that she would bring what happened between you and Gibbs up when you were to get ready together. “I don’t really know, Kate. I’m disappointed because for once, I thought we were finally getting closer to each other. I mean, he told me about his first wife!”
“Wait! He did?” Kate’s eyes almost bulge out of her head and your response to her is nodding while finishing the final touch of your makeup. Gibbs had opened up to you about his first wife while out on lunch with you. Part of you hoped he was taking you on a date, but then he didn’t ride back home with you after, instead he hopped into a Mercedes with some red-headed chick and sped off. 
“Yep. Then he got up after we finished and left with some other girl.”
“Ouch, wrong move, Gibbs.” You nod, sighing as you looked down at her bed, her sheets forgotten under the mile-high pile of clothing. You opted for some bell bottoms that hugged your curves, and a tube top that tied at your waist and shined under the moonlight. You looked as good as you felt, and were ready to show up Gibbs female toy. You paired the looks with chunky earrings and heels and you and Kate called a cab to make your way to the pub, letting Dinozzo know in the process. 
——
“Gibbs!” Tony called out, watching as his boss lugged beers back to the table in preparation for the others to come. “Y/N and Kate are on their way here!” Gibbs nods and Tony doesn’t know if it’s nerves or Gibbs just hates going out, but he looked worried, like he was hoping for someone to be there. It wasn’t any longer than 10 minutes of awkward silence between Dinozzo and Gibbs before you guys showed up, ironically saving the day. You two looked around the room before you spotted Tony and Gibbs.
“Wow, Y/N looks sex-”
“Wanna finish that sentence, Dinozzo?” Gibbs shoots him a hard glare, a mechanism he can’t control all that well. Tony was right tho, you did look sexy. Your skin glowed even under the dim lighting of the bar and Gibbs eyes gave you an inspection as you walked to the table. He looked on as your hips swayed, your navel looking absolutely sinful. You reached the table and Gibbs cleared his throat, greeting the two of you with a small smirk and a nod. You were relieved to find that Gibbs’ lady friend was there, so you could get tipsy without being so uptight about her being in your general vicinity. You look at your beer, before shaking your head and returning it to the bartender, asking for something else.
“A glass of Bernheim. Neat.” You tell the bartender, and you feel a presence slide in next to you. Hoping it’s not some random, you look to your left to be meet with Gibbs. 
“Didn’t take you for a bourbon girl.” He notes, ordering himself a glass. 
“Correction, bourbon woman.” You point a finger at him, laughing as he rolls his eyes. “My mistake, y/n.” He adds, and there’s a subtle warmth to his tone, like your name was meant to roll off his tongue. There’s a moment of silence before you speak. “Where’s your little lady friend?” His head turns to you and you shrug. “I thought she was coming.” You sip your glass, eyes not moving to glance at him as you finish your sentence. There’s an edge to your voice, and you’re pretty sure Gibbs notices this, but he doesn’t seem to say anything. 
“I’m not seeing her anymore.” he says, signaling the bartender for another round, which you gladly accept, gulping down the amber liquid, not even realizing the agonizing burn in your throat. 
“Oh,” was all you said, and you were glad because while you knew she was Gibbs type, she was uptight and needy, as if she wasn’t her own person without Gibbs. You knew Gibbs’ type. Laidback, easy on the eyes, independent and strong. All things you knew you were yet he still never made a move, insert rule number twelve. 
———————————————————————————————————-
You were on your fourth bourbon and you were edging drunk, but still managed to have your coordination and your voice never slurred. Your arms brushed against Gibbs’ a little, and he got a hint of your perfume; smoky, with a singe of vanilla at the end. You smelled like a warm campfire, and God help him if he didn’t get a little stiff in his pants. 
You stared at him, looking deep into his steely blue eyes and you think back to all the missed lunch dates with him, the flirtatious glances and remarks, his hand brushing against your lower back as he passes you in the office, everything single thing he does, it bothers you because you can’t tell him how you feel because of that fucking rule #12. 
“You know, Gibbs...” You start, “I have to get something off my chest.”
His head turns to you, “Okay.” 
You took a deep breath, letting it out as you spoke. “For a while, I was quiet and apprehensive towards you. It wasn’t because I feared you, but because I respected your work ethic and your boundaries. It wasn’t until we started to go out to lunch together, talking about our daily lives and getting to know each other as more than boss and employee.” You look at him, and find him gazing intently at you. You clear your throat again. “I’m in love with you. All of you, Jethro. You make me feel things that I haven’t felt since my junior year in college. I know about rule number twelve, and if that’s something you can’t break, then consider me gone from this team and you won’t see me again.” A tear slips from your eye, and you quickly wipe it away. 
“How long have you felt this way?” he asks, and you knew you were screwed once you tell him. You were silent, but begrudgingly answer. “Ever since I joined.”
It’s painfully silent, you could hear a pin drop. Your heart breaks when Gibbs gets up from the table, and leaves you to sulk in your bourbon.
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Note
May I politely request some Lillia cute and NSFW? If not, then perhaps Ori or maybe Ahri
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Since I'm in the mood for writing and I have some free time tonight, I'll get this request and maybe write one more - or just continue with the Blood Moon Jhin AU or something else I have catching dust around.
Hope you'll enjoy this, dear anon! I know it's taken a long time but maybe it will be worth the wait.
Note: This will take place in the Spirit Blossom universe. I'll also write Ahri, Yone and Yasuo in the Spirit Blossom!
SFW:
- As a priestess of the Spirit Blossom festival, you knew many things - things hidden from the eyes of the common folk.
- The path of the spirits was a dangerous one, full of hardships but deeply rewarding. You felt that aspect very deeply with each passing year. Every festival was marked by a moment that should be forbidden to any mortal - a chance to slip into the world of spirits, unseen and unknown.
- It wasn't out of your own choice, of course. There were many dangers hidden in the shadows of this world, a dreamy realm that left you yearning for more. It was almost an addiction, a pull that had always proved itself difficult to fight against.
- As one of the youngest priestesses, still new to the craft, you were sent into the spirit realm to reinforce the barriers separating the two worlds. Difficult work that attracted the attention of unwanted beings - but something that had to be done.
- Like the previous two years, you stepped into the spirit realm with trembling hands and a startled heart. Your right hand gripping the lantern tightly, your left hand holding the basket, filled with calming incense and ancient scrolls. Some would call it witchcraft. In some ways, it was.
- You would always wear a purple kimono and a detailed, horned mask to blend in with the spirits and to remain hidden to the demons lurking in the shadows. It made you look ethereal, just like one of the spirits you'd hear stories about as a child.
- Under any circumstance, you'd feel pleased by it. But now... Now it only made you uncomfortable. You considered it bad luck - looking and acting like a spirit. You were alive, after all. Living flesh. A beating heart. Running blood.
- The demons' favorite prey.
- And you'd do anything it takes to avoid becoming their prey.
- You steadied your trembling fingers, your wildly beating heart while you studied your surroundings. They were different from the last time you've seen this place.
- They were always different. The place was alive. Always changing. Completely unpredictable and thus dangerous. Your fingers tightening around the wooden curve of the lantern, you took a few cautious steps into the gloomy forest. A purple haze was floating around, making your mind feel hazy and slow.
- You were aware of the effects this place could have on the human mind. It still didn't prepare you one bit for the whole ordeal.
- With a deep inhale, you started walking. Small steps - one at a time. You could do it. You could reach the main shrine and enforce the barriers in less than an hour - you'd be back in your world before midnight, if everything went well.
- You met Lilia for the first time on the way to the altar.
- A scared, lonely being. She took a huge fright when she saw you - when she saw your mask - and you spent the next 20 minutes trying to convince her that you weren't, in fact, a demon.
- In the end, your fumbling fingers reached behind your head to take off the mask - an incredibly dangerous thing to do, of course, but you tended to be a bit more reckless than a priestess should probably be.
- As soon as your face came into view, Lilia froze. It's been so long since she has seen any humans here, so deep into the spirit realm. No soul ever ventured this far - either guided by the spirit fox or chained to the demon. You were...
- You were so beautiful to her. Wide eyes, fearful yet stubborn. Your hair was simply made, traditional flowers blooming from between the strands in a casual, almost natural manner - as if they belonged there. A straight posture, an elegant yet strong body covered in the sensual and luxurious silk that could only exist in the spirit realm.
- You were absolutely stunning to Lilia. And for a few long moments, she stuttered a question while cowering close to a nearby tree.
- "A-are you a human or o-one of them?" She needed to be sure. She couldn't trust you, not yet. What if you were a demon with a human face? What if you were one of the spirits, just trying to hurt her for your own amusement?
- You frowned for a short second before you gave her your answer: Human.
- And Lilia knew you were telling the truth. She could sense lies easily, her heightened senses capable of picking up every tremor in your voice, every skip of your heartbeat.
- You covered your face again before she could say anything else. There was an ominous sound in the air, a warning you could clearly hear.
- You've pushed your luck enough.
- With a curt nod to Lilia, you left her and continued on your way to the shrine.
- And Lilia remained there, shocked and flustered - feeling alive for the first time after so very long.
- Of course, you were just a human. But you possessed such confidence, such a stubborn aura around you. So different from her weak, sensitive nature.
- In the following 3 years, you would see her again and again. Lilia was a sweet thing, always waiting for you at the edge of the forest on that fateful night. It made your heart ache, the way her eyes would brighten with excitement and love - only to fill with tears when it was your time to go.
- Every year, you'd push the limit a bit more. Just a little bit more. Just 5 more minutes with the lovely fawn you've met in the woods. The one you've come to cherish more than anything the mortal realm could offer to you.
- You knew what feelings you had for her. You were also well aware of her feelings for you. It was hard to ignore them when she waited for you so earnestly. It was hard not to confess when she walked besides you, talking as you carefully listened - hands touching your back, your hands, wrapping around your waist as she nuzzled your hair and your masked face.
- She was warm and delicate - the soft smell of cherry blossoms intoxicating you in her presence.
- You encouraged her to leave her safe forest - to meet the other kind spirits of the realm. You knew they did exist. You've seen them a few times in your passing, but from a great distance. You had never dared to adventure closer, unwilling to show any disrespect to them - no matter how unintentional.
- Obviously, you were happy when Lilia made new friends. She told you about two brothers, about a lost princess. She talked about Ahri, the fox spirit of the realm. She mentioned so many spirits, always ready to share new information with you. It made your heart ache for her. So innocent and so willing to do the right thing.
- In your 5th year as a priestess, you arrived to the spirit realm prepared. Cherry blossoms bloomed in your hair, woven delicately into an elegant design. Instead of a purple kimono, you were wearing a red one, rich in gold and silver.
- You wore no mask - instead, a crimson veil delicately covered your face.
- You had offered yourself as a sacrifice to the spirits of the realm, to the unfortunate weeping of your fellow sisters.
- While they were crying in despair, you were crying out of happiness.
- You watched as Lilia froze in shock and recognition, followed by uncertainty and a brief moment of bursting excitement and happiness.
- "You'll have to accept me before someone else comes to snatch me away." You whispered softly when you came to a stop in front of her, your cheeky smile visible through the thin veil.
- She could only ask you why in a trembling voice.
- And finally, you were able to tell her. You loved her, of course. Why else would you do this?
- You told her you were sick of waiting one year to see her again. You told her that the mortal world was dull and lacking happiness in her absence.
- You told her you'd never been happier than in that very moment.
- And Lilia could only smile widely through the tears of happiness bursting from her eyes, shaking hands reaching for the veil to pull it off - before she pressed a soft, delicate kiss on your cold lips.
NSFW:
- Lilia isn't a very sexual being. She's more willing to please than be pleased. But, as your wife, she does make sure to satisfy you in every possible way.
- It isn't only about doing her marital duties, of course. As weak as she might seem, Lilia can become quite fierce. She knows how to say no when she feels uncomfortable - and that's mainly because she's so comfortable with you. She knows that you wouldn't force her into anything, nor judge her for saying no.
- Marriage in the spirit realm is different from marriage in the mortal realm. It's much more meaningful. As Lilia is a spirit - and you are to become wed to one, even as a human - sex takes on a much more meaningful touch. It's a bonding of your souls in more than one ways. It's the final rite in your marriage, after the bridge offering and the small courtship phase - which consists of Lilia offering you something to eat, something made by her, before taking you to bed.
- She's a gentle and loving partner. Honestly. there is no sex with her. There is only love making. She takes care of you better than any partners you might've had in the past, sensible and well aware of your needs.
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pillow-anime-talk · 4 years
Text
traditional & maternal s/o.
synopsis: You as a beautiful, traditionally dressed and perfectly behaved woman who shows maternal behavior towards your partner’s subordinates.
# tags: headcanons; current relationships; mature!reader; romance; fluff; slice of life; sfw
includes: female reader ft. yukichi fukuzawa, ougai mori & francis scott key fitzgerald {bsd}
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— YUKICHI
↘ Fukuzawa is also a traditional man, so when he met you for the first time, he was genuinely delighted with your grace and your way of speaking. Your delicate tone of voice and perception of the world made a huge, positive impression on him. On top of that, you were really beautiful, and your flowery yukata perfectly highlighted your pretty smile, eye color and hair.
↘ You were adults, so your feelings towards each other were slow and mature. However, when you finally got into a relationship, shortly after that, you lived together in a beautiful old minka with a huge engawa, where you loved to relax and talk about his day at work or plans for the future.
↘ You made the most delicious tea in the whole world and you were a great housewife who loved to cook, bake and take care of others. Yukichi was even happier when you brought to home a homeless little kitten with a twisted paw one day. You took care of him together, considering the pet as your first baby.
↘ More than six months after you moved in together, you visited your partner at the Agency for the first time. Fukuzawa talked to you about his subordinates more than once, showed you their photos and always smiled slightly. And when Kyouka – who was wearing traditional Japanese clothes just like you – joined the Armed Detective Agency the man said that you two looked quite similar.
↘ When on that day, you crossed the area of the building and then knocked on the wooden door, you sighed a little, a bit stressful about meeting new people. Shortly thereafter, a tall, blonde-haired boy with a green notebook in his hand appeared on your doorstep and greeted you. You bowed as well, and then with his consent, you entered the office.
↘ “Have you had an appointment on any case, Lady? How can I help you?” Kunikida asked in a polite tone, and you shook your head.
↘ “I came privately. I made some mochi for you, kids.” You responded warmly. Your person immediately interested Ranpo, Atsushi and Dazai. “Ah, I didn’t introduce myself, I’m so sorry. I am Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you all. Also thank you for taking care of our beautiful city.”
↘ “... How did I deserve to meet such a wonderf...” Osamu began with a broad smile, but the newspaper that hit him on the head silenced his happy lips immediately.
↘ “Stop scaring my partner, Dazai.” Fukuzawa walked towards you, standing next to your figure. “Something happened that you came?”
↘ “Oh, no, Yukichi. I just wanted to meet your almost adopted children.” You smiled at everyone in the room. “And I’ve done too much mochi.” You added when you went to one of the desks to lay out the colorful sweets. The members of the Agency were fascinated with you from the first second.
↘ Yosano was really happy to see her President with a woman who was so perfect for him. Kyouka immediately saw her deceased mother in you and held your yukata with each subsequent meeting, following you step by step. Naomi and Kirako loved hearing your stories and always asked you for tasty recipes. Atsushi, Kenji and Ranpo were your little babies to you, while Jun’ichirou was like your eldest son. Kunikida, on the other hand, was terribly ashamed of you, but finally overcame his shyness, stating that you were a wonderful woman and the future wife of his master. Dazai liked you, of course; even though you often scolded him because of his behavior, he still adored you and respected your person very much.
↘ Your beloved was more than pleased to see that you had such a good relation with his subordinates. You even had great contacts with Fukuzawa’s mentor, Mr. Natsume. It all confirmed Yukichi’s thoughts that you were the best woman he could ever meet.
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— OUGAI
↘ Mori wasn’t surprised that another woman around him dressed in traditional kimonos and tied her hair in beautiful buns or braids. After all, he had Kouyou under his command, and before that, also had the sweet Kyouka.
↘ However, what got you all his attention is your kindness and dedication to others.
↘ Neither you, nor Ougai, nor even Elise will forget the day when three of you met in the middle of the street and at the same moment a thief ran out of the bank and his hand with the gun was automatically directed towards Elise who standing next to you. You covered her with your own body, fearing that a stranger would hurt her, but luckily nothing like that came, because Mori personally knocked him out and then calmed your terrified thoughts.
↘ He sincerely thanked you, then suggested a walk and a coffee in a nearby bar. Elise held your warm hand all the way and you were literally the first person the girl liked and trusted so quickly. I think she saw the mother in you, though she shouldn’t have thought so, since she was only Mori’s ability.
↘ But now we are here, a few weeks later, when you recognized the girl as your beloved daughter, and at the same time you became the wife of the boss of the Port Mafia, knowing very well what could happen to you.
↘ But even that, your relationship was really nice and warm; the man finally had someone to come back to, he had someone to talk to about something more than just work, he could cuddle someone and watch a movie or cook a delicious dinner together. Additionally, Elise could finally feel like a real, normal girl and could protect someone more than her own creator. They were both sincerely in love with you, albeit on different levels of this feeling.
↘ Your meeting the rest of the Mafia members was totally unplanned, because one afternoon your beloved husband called you to ask for important documents that he left in a locker, in his office, in your shared small apartment. Of course, you agreed to bring them to him, and on the way to the building you also went to the bakery to buy him and the cute girl something sweet to eat; you chose tiny fruit tarts and a few donuts.
↘ Ten minutes later, you entered the huge building very calmly, looking around to find an elevator or stairs. When you moved another few steps, you immediately stopped when the figure of blonde-haired Elise with a huge syringe appeared in front of you, and a black-haired – unknown to you – boy was thrown hard against the nearest wall.
↘ “Akutagawa senpai!”
↘ Your eyes widened when Elise hugged your stomach, covered by flowery, long yukata. You were still looking at the boy lying next to the white wall, who a second ago wanted to overpower you, probably considering you a threat from outside. You understood it perfectly well, after all, the Mafia had many enemies.
↘ “... Don’t touch my okaa-san!” The girl screamed, squeezing your body a little tighter. You touched her smol head, stroking the blonde locks, and smiled warmly.
↘ “Elise, my honey, you shouldn’t treat others like that, okay?” You asked softly, to which the girl nodded uncertainly. The security staff next to you, as well as Akutagawa and Higuchi, were shocked by Elise’s polite behavior towards your person. Who were you? “Where’s Ougai, my honey?”
↘ “He’ll be here soon. I was faster than him because I sensed you entering the building. I just wanted to say hi.” She replied with a blush and you laughed softly. “It’s for me?” She asked suddenly, pointing her finger at a paper bag with the smell of icing and kiwi. You nodded and handed her the brown bag full of sweets, then headed towards the still-lying boy and woman with the two guns in her hands.
↘ “Are you okay? I’m so sorry to cause the confusion, I didn’t want to look suspicious.” You whispered, stroking his head while guessing that the Mafia man in front of you is quite young. “Does something hurt you?”
↘ “... Oh, Y/N-chan, what happened?” Finally Ougai came downstairs and you smiled once again.
↘ “There was a little misunderstanding, but it’s okay now.” You answered softly, patting the twenty-year-old’s dark hair one more time. Ryuunosuke found your touch really soothing.
↘ “B-Boss...! Excuse m-me, but...!”
↘ “Hmm. I guess, all of you have already met my lovely wife?” He asked rhetorically, walking up to you, helping you to get up and kissing your forehead. “Be nice to her, otherwise you know what awaits you.”
↘ Akutagawa and Higuchi nodded slowly, swallowing the saliva in their mouths. The boy was really glad that day that Elise had stopped him, because it could end up really... bad.
↘ Needless to say, you gradually got to know more and more people and every member of the Port Mafia liked you; you were especially close to Kouyou, Gin and Yumeno, who became another baby to love for you. And also, despite the first meeting, Akutagawa adored you very very very much. You spoiled him as much as your daughter.
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— FRANCIS
↘ Fitzgerald met you in the store when he was at one of the many sales. You watched him with a soft laugh as he selected pots and other cheap things.
↘ Of course he noticed you quickly; how could he not do that? Your traditional, long kimono and breathtaking hairstyle immediately caught his eye, as did your warm expression and amused, shiny eyes. So he replied with a big, manly smile, then started a conversation about how delighted he was with the items here and their prices. You two talked for a long time that day, and in meantime, he invited you for coffee at the nearest coffee shop.
↘ (Of course you had to take him there and teach him to use the menu card because he never has been in the cafe, lmao.)
↘ After eating a sweet, delicious cake and drinking a warm drink, you left the small building and moved on, still talking about your life and plans for the coming days. In the middle of Yokohama city, both of you found Miss Alcott who looking in shock at her leader who was so kind and affectionate turning towards a woman he had barely known.
↘ Louisa, as a great mind, immediately stated that you are a really good human, full of warmth, empathy and respect for other people. All of this was even more true when you offered two newly met people to use your own home to devise a plan for their actions to regain their good name, social status and money. Francis was more than grateful and Louisa genuinely happy that she didn’t have to rent something ugly and dingy.
↘ They stayed with you for more than a few days, and you, as a good housewife, continued to delight them with your tasty meals, desserts and scented tea.
↘ The natural course of things was that the man fell in love with you. However, before confessing his love to you, he first wanted to earn to ensure you a decent life; as his future, wonderful wife.
↘ That’s why he first returned as ‘The Great Fitzgerald’ and then as the man who took your heart and promised to treat you like a Queen.
↘ Of course you agreed; not for money or gifts, but only for him and his honest heart, because the whole situation has brought you closer to each other like nothing else. You supported him very much in his return and you were really proud and glad when Francis came to you one day in a fancy suit, took you in his arms and sincerely thanked you for the last weeks of support.
↘ Shortly after that, you became a couple and later, you became his fiancée. The man thought you were just his personal guardian angel and your getting to know each other was simply planned by fate.
↘ Miss Alcott was more than happy to see you two smiling and so beautifully in love.
↘ Now all you have been waiting for is a wedding and the enlargement of your little family.
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pocketfulofrogers · 3 years
Text
Planes, Trains, and Firetrucks
Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader
Summary: What’s a polar vortex to a desperate sister trying to get home? With a little determination and the luck of a stranger, you might just be able to pull off a Christmas miracle. 
Notes: So I got drunk with my aunt and uncle on Thanksgiving and watched the only Thanksgiving movie to both exist and be quoted in it’s entirety by my whole family. I woke up with a google note that said ‘Planes, Trains, and Automobiles but make it a love story.’ Kinda wished I had payed more attention to the movie now. 
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Pinching the bridge of your nose, you try to reign in your frustration. You had been all over this airport for the last six hours desperately searching for any way to get home. So far, you had only been strung along.
“Is there anything to Chicago at all? I’m just trying to be back for even a portion of Christmas. Seriously, at this point I’d saddle up a horse.”
The woman scrunches her nose as she scrolls through her computer, a sense of defeat looming over you until she smiles quickly. “I found a 5am to Detroit that connects…” She trails off and begins to frown again. “Just canceled.”
“Seriously?!” The word explodes from your mouth unwarranted and much louder than intended and your hand flies to your mouth in embarrassment.
Before you can begin to apologize profusely, you hear the man behind you mumble under his breath. “Probably because of the giant winter storm and white out conditions covering the entire North East.”
You whip your head behind to glare at him, but he’s too focused on his phone to even notice that you had overhead him. Defeated, you turn back around and quietly apologize before grabbing your phone and sulking away, the guy behind you chuckling slightly.
Mom: Your sister just got here, she’s so excited to see you!
Barely managing to suppress your groan, you lean against a nearby pillar to type a response that hopefully won’t break anyone’s hearts.
The man pockets his phone and approaches the counter. “Hi, can I get a hotel voucher?”
“We’re prioritizing vouchers for flying families and couples first.” She smiles.
“Really?” He groans, loud enough to grab your attention and hears your chuckle from what he assumes you think is karmic justice. But when he locks eyes with you, he gets an idea. “That is so kind of you guys!” He exclaims with a smile. “My wife will love that.”
In the middle of trying to explain to your mom that you couldn’t have left any early, chuckles steps up in front of you with a grin, holding up a pamphlet and you narrow your eyes. “Be my wife for a night, cow girl?”
You roll your eyes and walk away from his laughter and fake apologies, not stopping until he calls your name. “This?” You gesture between the two of you. “This is creepy.”
He holds up his hands before sliding the voucher in his dark jean jacket pocket. “They wouldn’t give me the voucher unless I put another name down so I just said you were my wife.” He shrugs his shoulder as if he can’t see the problem. “Now I can’t check in unless you’re there.”
You grab your bag and start walking again. “Not my problem.”
To your dismay, he keeps up with you. “We’ve been running around this place all day, so you have got to be at least a little tired.” You really were. “I let you use my charger.” He did do that, but it doesn’t seem to him that his small act of airport kindness has swayed you. “How about we get some sleep and then I promise I will help get you to Chicago?”
This causes you to pause again and look him up and down, almost hating yourself for even considering it. Those piercing blue eyes didn’t seem to hold any malice, nor did his small smile. He was charming, that much was obvious, but so was Ted Bundy.
You cock a hip to the side. “You could be a serial killer.”
The smirk he flashes makes you a little weak. “So could you.”
“Fine, but we’re stopping for pepper spray.”
**
Each time Kelly closes his eyes and feels his exhaustion begin to pull him under, he hears you curse under your breath. You had been obsessively scouring the internet looking for a hail mary, but each time you hit a wall.
He had given up somewhere between the last car dealership left in a 100-mile radius to endure your guilt trip and the proposition of hitch hiking. Honestly, he was more concerned than surprised when you seemed disappointed at him shooting down the idea.
Despite this budding friendship, you had offered no details of yourself, even when asked. You made another serial killer joke when he asked you why it was so important you get home, but he didn’t miss how guarded you became.
The next time you groan is when he also gives up the idea of any form of rest. Kelly sits up quick enough to see you throw yourself back into the creaky swivel chair.
“Is there a battery pack on you or something?” His voice is gravely, thick with exhaustion and just a hint of frustration.
You wince. “I know, I’m sorry. I just can’t believe that there’s not a single taxi or rental car available.”
“You could just buy a car.” He suggests it as an outlandish joke, but then your eyes light up.
“You’re a genius!”
**
Standing out in the middle of an alleyway, snow coating your hair, you can’t say your not a little nervous. Kelly is stood beside you despite very loudly voicing his opinion on how this was a terrible idea. Actually, that it was maybe the worst idea you’ve ever had.
“If anyone is going to be a serial killer, it’s going to be this guy.” He mumbles another remark, shifting his eyes to check your surroundings again.
You shoot a glare at him, but have to admit he’s probably right.
There wasn’t much in your bank account to spare, especially when you consider the price of a decent car. Craigslist offered one result in your price range within reasonable walking distance and you didn’t really stop to think it out.
Now you were in a barely lit backstreet leaking a smell you’d rather not name.
“You didn’t have to come.” You state, again.
He scoffs. “With your lack of self-preservation and this piece of shit that won’t make it out of the state? I won’t be responsible for you ending up on a milk carton.”
You want to comment that that’s not a thing anymore, but he had stuck by you for the last few hours and that’s more than you can usually expect from a stranger. “Aw, you care.” You reply instead.
**
It smells, terribly, but if you roll the windows down enough, you can hardly even notice. Wearing enough layers to not fell the cold is another story. You had expected Kelly to bail on you, insisting you wouldn’t blame him for running back to the warm comfort of clean sheets that weren’t his own, but again he shook his head.
He slept for the first six hours, grateful that you seemed to be a decent driver, but you tossed and turned in the back for about four before you climb back up front and ask to take over. There was only a little bit of gloating each time you passed through a city and grinned an ‘I told you so’ at him.
He doesn’t tell you, but he finds your giddiness contagious.
You don’t notice, but he keeps watching you whenever you’re not paying attention- intrigued by the woman who is actively going to hell and back just to get home. Matt told him he was insane, but there was something about you that he just couldn’t let go of.
He had watched you give up one of the only plane tickets left to a younger woman. Feeling touched as she cried in your arms. When you bought lunch for an unaccompanied minor and let her use up the entire battery life of your phone to watch a few movies, he knew he had to at least talk to you.
The only opener he had was a charger and it seemed to have been enough to get your trust.
“You know,” He starts, pulling his jacket tighter around him, hoping the rising sun would bring some form of warmth soon. He wasn’t hopeful. “I think I’ve earned a few questions.”
You glance at him and raise a brow. “Fine.”
“Are you always like this?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Your surprise makes you laugh.
“Prickly.” He clarifies.
“I’m not prickly, I’m stressed.” You defend yourself. “How are you not? Aren’t you trying to get home too, to see your family?”
He shrugs. “It’s out of my control, and the only family I have are people I get to see pretty regularly.” He smiles at you. “Guess I’m pretty lucky.”
“Well, it seems I’m definitely not.”
As if on cue, there’s a loud pop from the front of the car and it begins to sputter and smoke. Kelly is quick to calm you down and ease you into pulling off the road in the most soothing voice you think you may have ever heard.
**
Sitting on the side of the road, you only pick up your head from your knees when you hear a loud sigh and the hood slam shut. Kelly wipes the dark grease on his pants and gives you a solemn look.
“It’s toast.”
You let your head fall back onto your knees, not paying much attention to the encouraging words he tries to use to raise your spirits or the almost comforting hand on your shoulder, not even when they both disappear.
It isn’t until he’s grabbing the bags from the worst impulse buy of your life that you decide to check back in. “What are you doing?”
He points back to a semi-truck stopped not far behind with a smirk. “I told you I’m lucky.”
**
Your elbow bumps the trucker again and you pull you arms in closer to your body, try to scoot further away while being mindful of Kelly pressed close to you on your other side. Why you agreed to sit in the middle, you’ll only understand once you figured out why you agreed to this in the first place.
The man seemed nice enough, but it was two hours to the next city and you hadn’t slept in 36 hours.
“I don’t know what we’re going to do when we get there. Maybe find some wifi and look for our next ride?”
Kelly purses his lips. “How about we take an hour?”
“What are we supposed to in Dyersville on Christmas day?”
There’s a sparkle in his eyes when he smiles and shrugs his shoulders.
**
“Alright. This was a good idea.” You mumble around a mouthful of the burger you were trying to not inhale.
Somehow, Kelly had managed to convince a food truck to kick out one more order before packing up to get home. The smell hit you just as your hunger did and it didn’t take long for you to start stuffing your face.
He picks up his drink beside him on the bench and nods. “We needed this.”
“So bad.” You gush. You look around and finally feel like you can breathe again. “Maybe my luck’s turning. It’s a beautiful day, we’re so close, and this just might be the best burger I’ve ever had.”
He starts to laugh, but stops suddenly when he looks past your head. Before he can even react, the man he had been eying grabs your purse and takes off, Kelly quick on his heels. You yell after him, almost taking off too, but then his feet catch a patch of ice.
He goes down, hard and you rush to his side.
“Kelly? Kelly are you okay?” He’s touched by your concern, but he doesn’t have the breath in his lungs to convey it.
“Fine.” He grunts out.
“You folks alright?” A man with peppered hair and a thick grey mustache approaches behind you in a white button up. “We were just fixing our lights outside when we saw what happened. We’ve got two EMTs grabbing their bags if you’ll just stay where you are, son.”
Kelly waves him off, calling him chief, and tries to sit up. “Guy got her bag.”
You shush him and quickly help him up. “There’s nothing in there that can’t be replaced.” You assure him.
“Holy shit, is that Kelly Severide?” A woman calls out from across the street before jogging over. “Can’t wait to let the boys know that the great Lieutenant got played by a kid.”
Kelly chuckles at your confusion as he wipes his dirt covered hands on his jeans. “Gomez, nice to see you again.”
“You know each other?” You ask.
Gomez nods. “Lieutenant Severide here held a rope rescue training, whipped us all into shape. What brings you back here?”
Kelly sighs, adding a voice to the very rough time the last 20 hours had been. “Got snowed in just outside of Seattle. This one,” He points over to you and raises a brow. “Just had to get home and dragged me on and insane trip.”
Your jaw drops. “Dragged? You definitely refused to leave.”
“Only because I whole heartedly believed you’d get yourself killed.” He winks at you and you can’t suppress your smile.    
The chief contemplates for a moment before offering up an old battalion car to get you through the final stretch. Kelly looks to you, smile beaming and makes another comment about his impeccable luck.
**
“So, you’re a firefighter.” You begin when the silence becomes a little too thick. “Is that why you were in Washington?”
Kelly nods. “Small city fire departments don’t have the resources we do. I try to go to a few a year to teach them how to use the stuff they have for difficult rescues.”
“Wow…” You trail off.
“You can’t ask me that question and not answer it for yourself.”
Rolling your eyes, you have to agree. “I was there for an interview. Some doctors there created a revolutionary treatment, and I was able to witness one of the surgeries.”
“Must be important for you to give up your Christmas Eve.”
You shrug. “My sister got really sick a few years ago. She’s okay now, but we weren’t able to see her for a really long time. Doctors saved her life and this could save someone else’s. It’s important information.”
“That’s why you wanted to get back?”
The moment becomes a little too heavy, but you manage a sad smile before you feel compelled to look out the window. “It’s her first Christmas since, it’ll be the first time I’ve seen her.”
He grabs your hand and your attention after a moment of silence and his stare is intense. “We’ll be there soon.” He assures you.
**
12 hours into shift and Matt Casey is as bored as he’s ever been on a Christmas. No calls, no Christmas spirit, and most importantly Christmas dinner was a bust. So, when Severide open his office door, covered in dirt and oil and grime, he was intrigued at least.
“You look like hell.”
Kelly rolls his eyes. “I need to borrow your truck to take Y/N home.”
Casey’s eyes widen. “She’s here?”
Kelly isn’t sure why he seems so excited until he hears him grab almost the entire firehouse to lead them to the floor. To you. Despite his protests, Gabby is positively thrilled. You however, surprisingly, are not overwhelmed by all the greetings and hugs. The environment is so warm and welcoming that you can’t help but slide right into conversations.
“She is gorgeous.” Gabby tries to keep it to a whisper. “Your texts do not do her justice.”
Kelly nods, well aware that just a few words typed while you were focused on the road could never be enough to describe how incredible he believed you to be.
“This isn’t it, right? You’ve got to see her again.” Joe butts his head between Kelly and Gabby. “We already like her.”
**
The drive to your house is quiet, somber. Not a single sound besides tires crunching through packed snow. There’re so many questions you have unanswered based solely on the fact that you don’t know how to ask them. Staring out into the night sky to watch the snow fall is no longer enough to comfort you.
It isn’t until he pulls up and puts the truck in park that you start to feel the pit in your stomach become overwhelming. You’re worried you’ll never see him again. Worried that the past day will be the final one and that thought is terrifying.
“Stay.” You blurt out.
He’s caught off guard by your request, but still smiles. “My family is back at the station and this is too important for you to be worrying about your parents meeting me.”
Your nod acknowledges that he’s right, but your eyes convey your sadness. “Merry Christmas, Kelly.”
“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
**
“I cannot believe you just let her go!” Matt walks in on Gabby yelling. “You liked that girl, she invited you in, and you left?!” She’s pacing back and forth in front of a freshly showered Kelly. He looks like a puppy in trouble and Matt’s smart enough to know not to butt in.
“That was not a first impression I wanted to make.” He tries to defend himself.
Gabby turns to Matt, exasperated, and he raises his hands.
As if someone were listening to his silent prayers, Capp comes in to tell Kelly that he had a visitor on the floor. His heart began to race, filling with hope that maybe, just maybe…
He rounds the corner and there you are, dressed up with a delicate smile. For a moment he’s breathless, the only thing he wanted to see. He wants to open with something witty, but you beat him to it when you hand him a tupperware container, stepping close enough that he can smell the light layer of perfume you’re wearing.
“This is to thank you for letting me drag you and your luck all over the northern states.”
He laughs. “I believe it was me that refused to leave.”
“And I probably would’ve made the national news for being missing if you hadn’t.” Your smirk makes his heart skip a beat. “You know milk cartons aren’t a thing anymore, right?”
He laughs. “Well, how am I supposed to thank you for pretending to be my wife?” You laugh until you realize he’s being serious. “How about dinner tomorrow night?”
“I would love that.”
When he leans down slowly and presses his lips to yours, you have to laugh at the cheers that erupt from the background.
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quirklessidiot · 4 years
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Title: daddy’s first day [coward series au] Pairing: F!Reader x Miya Atsumu Genre: fluff, parents au, slice of life au Synopsis: In which Miya Atsumu takes charge of taking care of the kids for a day Warnings: none!
notes; you don’t need to read coward tbh to read this chapter, its just miya atsumu navigating his life as a daddy hshsshs [side stories are updated every friday] read the series here!  [ ss;; one, two, three, four ]
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“...Remember that Youta is allergic to shrimps and Yuuto’s got sensitive skin, I have all the medication in case anything happens and Yuuto has his soap in the bathroom in a separate container, just make sure that the water isn’t too cold nor too hot and remind him to wear sunscreen every two hours.” You explain, placing the last of your valuables in your bag “...I’m also on speed dial and you also have the number of their pediatricians on your number 2 speed dial, I also have the food in the tupperware prepared the night before-”
“Y/N, sweetheart, please calm down. I’m not going to kill our kids when you’re gone for the next nine hours.” he frowns at how distrusting you were towards him. okay, he admitted that he may have hated the boys at first but that was before. They were your kids now, that was totally different! They weren’t some random brats on the street! You should have a little faith in him!
“Atsumu, you almost burned down the house while making scrambled eggs.” You expressed, a glint of amusement on your eyes, “Would you like me to call ‘samu-san or Daiki-san?”
He scoffed at the mention of those two men, after ‘samu found out that he was actually an Uncle of those kids, he suddenly had a one hundred sixty degree change of attitude. Of course, Atsumu was happy that you guys got along and the kids seemed to start warming up to him but it seemed like you trusted ‘samu  more these days and that daiki too.
“Alright, just help them with their homework and heat up the food okay? I have everything prepared.” You leaned in to give him a quick peck on the temple before leaving. He watches you leave the house in a hurry for work with a frown on his lips.
Married life with you was easy, you were like a superwoman. A great mom, a great co-worker, even a greater wife. How come he couldn’t be as half as good as you? Like be a cool dad to your kids or something? He couldn’t even cook the damn eggs well and there you were, making some Michelin star cuisine while making your kids happy and content and your work life thriving.
“Oh,” Yuuto’s brow is scrunched together as he exits his shared room with his brother, see, that’s what he gets from the kids, awkwardness and insults (mostly insults,really), “You know ever since you came back, ‘kaasan’s always been busy and hasn’t been spending time with us.”
“Yeah.” Youta yawns, scratching his eyes as he exits the room, “You even make bad food, I think you should just keep playin’ volleyball or something.”
Atsumu feels a tick on his forehead, they were definitely his sons that’s for sure.
“I’m trying here.”
Yuuto stifles as chuckle at his father’s reply, wanting to comfort him, he told him a little fact that their ojisan told him recently, “Sure you are,  you’re doing a lot better than okaasan, Daiki-ojisan said okaasan didn’t know how to hold us until we were three or four.” the eight year old grinned.
Atsumu grabs a tupperware from the fridge that’s labelled ‘breakfast’ and proceeds to heat it up on the microwave, “I’m sure that’s a lie. Your okaasan seems to do very well now, it’s hard to imagine her messing up.”
He watches them eat their egg rolls and bacon, time flies quick these days. The boys were already eight years old and were getting more and more into volleyball. Youta exclaimed he wanted to be a pro like him while Yuuto wanted to be like you (although he still played volleyball a lot because he had the competitive streak thanks to his father)
“Can we invite Tobio-ojisan on our birthday?” Yuuto asks while Atsumu rolls his eyes, he can’t believe that this kid still idolized that idiot. He beated him thrice already! (okay, Tobio had beated him five times including high school nationals but still)
“Oh also, Shoyou-ojisan then we can play against them!” Youta grins, mouth stuffed with egg rolls. Atsumu grimaces at him then grabs a napkin to wipe off the rice on the side of his lip, “How are you guys not impressed by me?” their father grumbles.
“You’re our otosan.” Yuuto deadpanned.
“Yeah, we see you everyday.” Youta added.
After helping the kids out in the bath (especially Yuuto since apparently he needed a temp check for the water), he had them do their projects and assignments (you had a long list on what they should accomplish today and one of them was a science planetary object)
The thing is though, he wasn’t very good at that.
He ended up having ‘samu on speaker to help the kids as they choked on their laughter because their otosan still thought that Pluto was a planet.
It also didn’t help when their math assignments came up, oh boy, Youta had a problem with one number and when he tried to explain to Atsumu that there was a new way to solve that and that their sensei had told them to solve it that way, he got pissed, “I don’t know that way! Why would they change math?  MATH IS MATH!” He screeches at the notebook as if it had done something wrong to him.
Safe to say, Yuuto had a field day as he watched his otosan frustratingly solve the math problem whilst muttering something about how math was complicated and they didn’t need to change up the equations. Youta, on the other hand,  had to calm him down and tell him they could just use the old way to solve the problem.
“...I want pizza.”
“Your mom left us dinner.”
“It says here on the note that you have to bake it in the oven.” Yuuto reads out loud, “ ‘Samu-ojisan says that you shouldn’t touch an oven though.”
Atsumu feels like he’s aging quick because of these two kids, how is it that they were such angels to you but little devils towards him? “...when they’re angels, they’re Y/N’s kids but when they become devils, they’re yours.” ‘Samu jokes.
Ah, he felt his forehead tick on that statement. He had some pretty redeeming qualities that he passed on to his kids like his looks and skills in volleyball! 
“Otosan, I don’t think you should put the tupperware in the oven.”
“I know what I’m doing here.”
Clearly, he didn’t. He ended up melting the plastic tupperware and having to call for takeout right after. The three of them looked at the melted tupperware and the food spillage in the oven, “Okaasan really likes those tupperwares.” Youta points out.
“I’ll buy her ten new ones.” Atsumu grimaced at the food in the oven, he should clean that and get rid of all the evidence when you come home in an hour. In fact, he should just buy a new oven because he thinks the smell is permanent there, “Wanna watch a movie before you go to bed? I promise I’ll cover for you.”
“You just don’t want us to tell okaasan that you melted her tupperware.” Yuuto pointed out.
“Pffft…” Atsumu laughs, pretending to shake it off, “I would not.”
“Extra scoop of ice cream on Sunday.”
“Yeah!” Youta echoes.
Atsumu narrows his eyes, “Deal.”
They ended up sprawling on the couch after putting on their pajamas. The kids sip their milk next to him, after seeing Kageyama drinking loads of it, the boys decided that if a big boy like Kageyama Tobio could drink milk, they could to (Osamu crackles because they didn’t seem to listen to Atsumu lecturing them about the benefits of milk) Halfway through the movie, the kids fell asleep and the blonde feels his eyes shut soon after too. 
You come in quietly as you notice the quiet chatter of the TV and the figures of your three boys on the couch, all snuggled together. Your heart immediately softens as soon as you see the domestic scene in front of you. Something you probably never could imagine before, your boys. You take a picture before waking your husband up with a light kiss on the jaw, “You look like you had a fun day.” you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.
“I hate math assignments.” was all he could reply.
You silently chuckled as you picked up Youta, “I’ll put the kids to bed, mind running me a bath?”
“Can I join in?” Atsumu suddenly awakened as soon as he heard what you said, a smirk dancing on his lips, “Save water and all that?”
“Are you really going with me in the tub?” You narrowed your eyes, “Last time we did that together, we ended up having two kids.”
“What’s another two more?”
“Miya Atsumu.”
taglist [officially closed, if you guys want to be removed for the side stories, feel free to tell me hehe ilyasm and thank you once again, coward wouldn’t be possible without all you people + other readers]
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mythicamagic · 3 years
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As usual... I can never just choose one... soo here are my top choices you choose one. Lol
1. Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?
2. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.
3.that ship has sailed. i’ve had my one great love already
4. we’re just…friends.” “friends don’t do this type of shit!
5. Did you just slap my ass?” / “Actually, I firmly grasped it.” 
Why did I decide 2 of the hurt/sad/angst.. idk.. i suppose im glutton for punishment. Dont hurt me too bad if you choose to do one of them myth.
Decided to do a part two for - this ask. 
I chose;  The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you.
---
The air felt crisp and clean, biting at Kagome's cheeks as she wound her scarf tighter around her neck. Winter markets were so much fun. The vast array of cute little items on display made warmth light up her chest, even as the candy and children's toys reminded her of a certain fox she'd left behind in the past.
Kagome smiled at Ayumi as she prattled on about something or other.
She shouldn't feel guilty. Shippo had barely visited the village in the last year she'd been there. Everyone had moved on. Including herself, somewhat. She'd been so wrapped up in her whirlwind romance with a certain Daiyoukai- the feudal era had been irreparably damaged as a home for her the second they'd broken up.
But she missed her friends. Dearly.
She shook herself. It was too late to go back on her choice now. The well had sealed shut for good.
Ayumi stopped to grab some hot chocolate from a street vendor, allowing Kagome a moment to warm her hands, rubbing them together.
Snowflakes gently danced about like powdered sugar, kissing Kagome's face as she turned- almost bumping face-first into a muscular chest. Fresh scents of wild forests and thunderstorms filled her nose, and she stiffened.
He smells the same.
Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, blue eyes narrowing. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."
"Haven't the faintest idea of what you mean," he arranged his features into mild innocence, which was near impossible due to his smiling eyes.
"Riiight," she muttered, wishing Ayumi would hurry up.
Sesshoumaru gazed down at her, a pink gift bag in hand. Kagome grit her teeth, hating that she wondered who it was meant for.
"I did not intend to run into you here, before you accuse me of anything," his silky voice caressed her hearing once more. It sounded so lulling, designed to draw her back in. "Did you take my gift home with you or did you throw it away?" he asked, deceptively casually.
"Home. But don't think that means anything- it's not the plant's fault you're trying to worm your way back into my life."
The Daiyouki smiled to himself, obviously absurdly pleased. He began pursuing the street vendor's items right beside her, gazing at children's toys with a touch of gentleness in his steady gaze. Kagome was prepared to ignore him- until he leaned down, breath fanning 'accidentally' over her cheek as he picked up a doll and straightened.
"Do you remember Rin? And the other children-"
"Don't," Kagome said, unable to move away. She hated the thrumming of her skin so much. The way it cried out. Hated him.
Her skin flared alive, body humming with hunger. Like a shot of adrenalin to the heart, Kagome dipped her chin into her scarf to try and mask her escalating breathing due to his proximity. When they'd had sex- so many years ago- it hadn't been like human lovemaking.
He'd wired new pathways within her system via his youki. Sometimes she felt like it still lived inside her, having made a home for itself. They hadn't mated, but she felt irreversibly changed by it.
Kagome made a faint noise, squeezing her eyes shut.
Resist him-
"Kagome?"
Oh thank God.
"Ayumi, let's go," she said abruptly, facing her friend with an urgent look in her eyes.
Ayumi tilted her head slightly, eyeing Sesshoumaru curiously. "A-alright?"
"You do not need to leave," he turned, exuding a magnanimous air. "I am the one who intruded on your time, please continue," he gestured to the market, ensnaring Kagome's gaze with his own. Unblinking, unable to hide his more animalistic habits even after so many years.
"I hope to see you some other time when my presence does not disturb you," he said softly, walking away.
---
When entering work that Saturday, Kagome could already sense the buzz in the air. Someone had generously donated some priceless artefacts to their museum. The previously undiscovered finds that shaken everyone due to their rarity and mint condition. No one could stop talking about it.
Kagome's blood ran cold the second the items in question were described to her. Pushing through the crowd that had gathered, she stared in horror at the display case.
Itching for a fight, she immediately stormed to his office downtown, opening the door to reception and letting herself in. "Is Sesshoumaru here?" she burst, stopping in front of the secretary's desk.
"Mr Taisho?" the woman blinked, obviously thrown by the petite, angry miko currently glaring at her and using his name so informally. "Do you have an appointment?"
"No. Just tell him Kagome is here."
She was let into his office soon enough, trying to keep a lid on her crackling reiki. Sesshoumaru glanced up from his computer. "Miko? What a pleasant surprise."
Kagome slammed an article atop his desk. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped.
He raised a brow, briefly flicking his attention to the contents. A photo of red and white silks, coupled with polished spiked armour sat in a display unit. "Something wrong? It was just a donation, given in good faith."
"Donated to my workplace!" Kagome seethed, groaning and burying her face in her hands. "Don't you realise I'm going to have to see your things now every day? I've worn those clothes! I've slept in them as pyjamas! Are you trying to mess with me because you want me back?"
"That's a little dramatic, dear one, I'm not trying to 'mess with you.' It was just a donation," he rose from his seat, face inches from hers. "And if I wanted to romance you, I'd go about it much differently."
"Don't 'dear one' me," she snapped. "You could've donated that stuff years ago- or to a different museum. But no, you had to give it to mine."
"My gift was not meant to distress you, but," he rounded the table slowly, fingers dragging over the wood. "It does make me worry, seeing you so worn thin. Is something else going on? Separate from...us?"
Kagome stiffened, avoiding eye contact. Things with her boyfriend had been strained as of late, and the Daiyoukai's sudden appearance back into her life wasn't helping matters.
"There is no 'us.' I'm frustrated and exhausted, that's all. Don't make things even more complicated by asking about that stuff."
Sesshoumaru lingered close, and Kagome didn't shy away. The one person she couldn't bear to be near was also the only being who could offer some semblance of comfort to her due to his familiarity.
"This one meant to give you something," reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a business card, handing it over. Kagome immediately froze, staring at the name. "You miss him," Sesshoumaru murmured. "The kit lives in Kyoto now with his wife and children. Call him."
Tears pricked her eyes, and Kagome bowed her head. Full lips crumpled into a wobbly line.
"If there is something I regret more than our parting, it is that you felt compelled to leave. The fault lies with me."
Shaking her head, a saddened laugh bubbled up her throat. "It was my decision to break up, and it was my decision to leave the Feudal Era. Don't...blame yourself for that part."
"You did not do anything wrong," a long-fingered hand reached out, blunt nails losing their glamour. Sharp claws stroked dark curling hair back from her neck. Kagome's breathing hitched. "When we were together- you did not do anything wrong. We were both so young. It was foolish of me to act as I did, but I think it is now... that we are in the right place for something more."
Kagome shivered, body warming to him. Intuitively, the brush of fingers on her neck made her foolishly anticipate a kiss- sorely disappointed when it didn't come. "I'm not," she forced herself to say. Seeing the disappointment darken his brown eyes, she sighed. "I miss you," Kagome admitted quietly, turning away to escape from his touch. "I miss how... we were. I'm terrified of that, though. I was...under the impression we'd be together. Permanently. Then you had to go and tell me you needed 'pure' heirs to continue the family bloodline."
She laughed bitterly, loosely holding her arms. "The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I'm still in love with you."
"You are frightened that I will hurt you again."
Kagome nodded mutely. She then forced a giggle, giving a weak smile. "Besides, you may not like me as I am now. I'm more jaded than before."
"I like what I see very much," moving closer once more as though experiencing a gravitational pull, he stopped inches away. "I have missed you too," he muttered quietly, genuinely. She could feel him inhale her scent through her hair. "Very much."
Her mouth suddenly became dry. "I'm with Natsuki-"
"Leave him," a rush of passion entered his voice as Sesshoumaru swept closer, backing her into the desk. The wood dug into her thighs, their hips meeting. "This one is not interested in being 'the other man' in an affair. Nor am I interested in watching you remain with someone less than ideal," he snorted, resting his hand over her wrist and grazing his thumb over it.
"Y-you don't know anything about it!"
"I could smell your scent. It was not bright and cheerful even before I re-entered your life the other day. His feels...murky on you. Unhappy."
Kagome swallowed thickly, glancing away. "Observant as ever," she admitted softly.
"Or perhaps you did a poor job of hiding it," backing off a little- he rested his hip next to hers beside the desk, remaining near but barely touching. And yet everything felt so close. "You've changed. But you're still the same at your core, miko," hot breath fanned over her neck, teeth ghosting over the shell of her ear. "If you permitted me, I would not be reckless with your heart again, as I was in my youth."
Her palms traitorously slid up, sliding over firm muscles- running across his chest. He felt warm. His heart was beating fast. Was he nervous? Such a thing sounded impossible.
She bit her lip, secretly longing for the sensation of silks under her hands again instead of the modern cotton of his shirt.
"I don't know that I believe you," Kagome met his gaze, rewarded with the golden glow of his eyes instead of human brown.
"I've gotta go," she said reluctantly, forcing herself to pull away. "I need to be at work."
"Very well," he hummed, unmoving. "But if you...need something. You know where to find me."
He sounded almost desperate for an excuse to talk with her. Giving a curt nod, she let herself out of his office with a long breath, shaking her head. Sesshoumaru's static youki haunted her steps for the remainder of the day.
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mistaeq · 3 years
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Saturday, 26th December
Romeo!Don Giovanna x Juliet!Reader: The Masque
TW // mafia is mentioned, please don't take it lightly. Mista x Trish is implied, but I've aged her up.
Today I offer you this, which I'm proud of, and it doesn't happen often. So I hope you all enjoy this.
A darker point of view on Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.
WORD COUNT: 3.5k
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Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Naples, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their ancient strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
Is now the two hours' traffic of my fic;
The which if you with patient eyes attend,
What here shall miss, my toil shall strive to mend.
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"I will be honest to thee, if thou do not mind me saying so, Don Giovanna. But I am still struggling to understand why thou wanted to show up to the event." the golden haired signore slightly chuckled, after his councilor's words, who was now helping him with fixing the bow which perfectly fit his elegant braid. He never gave up on styling his hair the same way, and now that he was showing up to an event out of pure spite, he was not going to change that.
"It is not that I wanted it, my dear Guido." the Don said, fixing his cream colored jacket's sleeves, an amused grin animating his relaxed features. "They don't expect me to show up at all, all they did was inviting me, thinking I would have chosen to not to go. And make fun of thy lord's attitude. It would be rude of mine, to not to let them know how good I am doing, despite their several attempts to push me down."
"Indeed, signore. Thy reasonment sounds just right." the young councilor Guido Mista agreed with the Don, crouching to give a better look at the lord's image in the mirror and nodding in satisfaction when he made sure the bow was symmetrical as he wanted. "In addition to this, I am pleased to inform thee about my choice of asking Lord Diavolo's daughter's hand in marriage, as soon as she will turn eighteen. Lady Trish." Giorno's grin, if possibly, widened. His councilor marrying his worst enemy's daughter? Sounded just perfect, since she was gonna move in their mansion. By her own choice. She hated her father, and had agreed to the marriage. Great to hear.
"Thou spoke music to my ears, Guido. And I thank thee for thou fixed my bow properly." the golden haired Don stood up, and started walking towards the door, eyeing at his councilor's outfit. "Get ready, we are going." Believe me, he was about to touch the door handle, when a rough voice, who always allowed itself to speak too much, interrupted his actions.
"What about thy heart, signore? No love story nor marriage for thee?" The gunslinger dared to say, perfectly knowing his Don thought he had to keep on being focused on his own affairs, rather than have love related ones. He just liked to drop the question every now and then, but started being genuinely worried. Guido know how romantic Don Giovanna could get, and the thought of him getting old without getting married, weirded him out. At first, he used to think Giorno needed time to get used to his role as a boss in the neapolitan mafia - the biggest reason of his strife against Diavolo -, but now, years had passed, and it was getting worse.
"Tender is the way love might make this man change. Thy lord is not ready to face such a thing. Unless it is really worth a try." Don Giovanna's hand lingered around the doorknob, caressing it in an attempt to examinate a thin layer of dust. "Do me the favor to tell Ghirga that cleaning up every little thing, even the most insignificant one, is definitely not optional." the blonde said, finally tightening his grip on the door handle and exiting the room. Left in the whistling silence of the place, the councilor proceeded to get ready for the event himself. He knew his signore didn't like to make someone wait.
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As soon as he came in the hall, everyone turned around him and his councilor, Guido Mista, who soon blended into the crowd, for his betrothed Trish Una gripped on his arm and pulled him somewhere else. "Bothering thy councilor is not my intention, Don Giovanna. I am asking for thy permission, to take him for a while." What else could the blonde man even answer, if not agreeing with it happening. Without any doubt, he was left alone so fast, he had now nobody to cover him, as his golden hair didn't blend at all into the crowd.
A pleasant smell of cooked food and wooden furniture penetrated the Don's nose, as he gripped a glass of wine from the servant who was walking around with a tray holding some. The man shook the crystal glass a little, before he smelled the alcoholic liquid, and took a sip from it. Then, he quietly snorted. "And this would be wine. I consider myself lucky, being these people's foe. This truly doth be terrible."
Giorno mentally commented almost everything in the hall, judging the furniture... "Outdated.", the people... "Seeing them stare at me pleases me. If they are willing to criticize my appearance and attitude, I will be even more pleased.", and the service as well. "These servants are just what Lord Diavolo likes. Being so useless, it pains me." he took the last sip from his crystal glass of wine. "Let me see how much will it take for some servant to notice."
No wonder, the signore was really full of himself, and he was right, for all the people's voices murmuring when he passed by, were coming from pure envy. Diavolo staring at him, from the top of a huge flight of stairs. Don Giovanna had not noticed him, for he didn't consider necessary the action of looking above his own head. Giorno knew he was the one to be already at the top. If so, it were others who had too look up to him. He had learnt he had to stand up to ferocious beasts too, and he managed, in his life, to dominate the worst out of all the beasts. Humanity.
Plus, he was extremely focused on what was happening in front of himself, for he could see, in the middle of the hall, several couples dancing. No need to specify, that was the place where Lady Trish had brought the councilor Mista. Don Giovanna couldn't help but slightly smirk. That man had always been so loyal to him, and he was genuinely proud of him for he had found a wife and helped his affairs at the same time. He watched at the curly, dark haired councilor moving his betrother around with grace, until they accidentally bumped into another couple who was dancing beside them. The Don was now elegantly chuckling, he was amused, he was...
...Love-struck. The couple who Mista and Una had bumped into, consisted in a young lord and a beautiful creature who probably came from heavens above. The angel apologized to the pink haired Lady with a laughter, and bowed to Guido in apology. The angel... were you. Diavolo's niece/nephew had made the impenetrable heart of Don Giovanna fall in love. Could he talk about love? He wanted to. All in a matter of two seconds, the golden haired man imagined you dressed up for a luxurious wedding. What he did not know, was that there would have also been Diavolo in the crowd, watching his archenemy marry you. He had no idea you were related to him. As the same servant he had taken a glass from before passed by, Giorno gripped her arm, and pulled her closer.
"What angel is that, which doth enrich the hand of yonder knight?" he frantically asked, his tone was serious and imposing, as if he was ready to squeeze the information out of the poor servant. But she knew nothing about you, it was not like she was a family servant. She was just there to serve for the event. "I know not, sir", the poor waitress said, holding the tray on her chest and trying to go back into the kitchen. "I apologize. Uh. More wine?" The girl also asked, as Don Giovanna remembered he had ran out of wine. But he shook his head and left the empty glass in the servant's hand, moving towards you to have a better look, not noticing he was right under the flight of stairs where Diavolo and a follower of his were standing. Then, he started to talk to himself, contemplating you.
"O, they doth teach the torches to burn bright! It seems they hangs upon the cheek of night." he moved his hands together, in a similar motion as one of a prayer. "Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear. Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear! So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows, as yonder angel o'er their fellows shows." Don Giovanna's fingers intertwined with each other as he spoke. "The measure done, I'll watch their place of stand, and, touching theirs, make blessed my rude hand." with his intense gaze, Giorno's left hand moved to slide on the side of his body, as the right hand touched his chest. "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."
He made the mistake to melt right under the sight of Diavolo, who smirked in seeing him so vulnerable for such a thing. Nobody was there to tell him that falling in love with you would have been his end. The pink haired lord was not irritated, for even if Giorno had tried to humiliate him, the golden haired boss was humiliating himself now, over a fleeting love. The man on the stairs wouldn't even have needed to do anything. Not that he wanted it in the first place. He would have behaved, to show his superiority off.
But Diavolo's loyal servant, lord Cioccolata, had other ideas. "This, by his voice, should be Giovanna. Fetch me my rapier, boy. What dares the slave come hither, cover'd with an antic face, to fleer and scorn at our solemnity?" the green haired man bent over the banister to take a better look to the supercilious Giorno, who, again, had no clue of what was right above him. "Now, by the stock and honour of my kin, to strike him dead, I hold it not a sin." Cioccolata murmured, but felt his arm get gripped from his boss.
"Why, how now, kinsman. Wherefore storm you so?" the servant's jaw dropped.
"Signore, this is literally Don Giovanna, our foe, a villain that is hither come in spite, to scorn at our solemnity this night." as the same servant who Giorno had talked to approached Diavolo and offered him a glass of wine, the pink haired boss smelled it and took a little sip from it. Then, grinned. He was not in the mood for violence. For now. So he had to keep Cioccolata back from every kind of bad decision. It wasn't easy, to keep such a man from murder. Out of pure honesty.
"Content thee, gentle coz, let him alone, Cioccolata. He bears him like a portly gentleman, and, to say truth, Naples brags of him to be a virtuous and well-govern'd youth." Diavolo explained. It would not have been good if something happened to that man in his mansion. He was part of Naples' pride. "I would not for the wealth of all the town, here in my house do him disparagement: therefore be patient, take no note of him. It is my will, the which if thou respect, show a fair presence and put off these frowns, and ill-beseeming semblance for a feast." was he asking his most violent servant to have... patience over his archenemy? Yes, he was, and Cioccolata was speechless.
"It fits, when such a villain is a guest. I'll not endure him." the angered man replied, trying once again to get his signore to reasonate and realize they could get rid of him so easily if they wished so. The councilor Mista was even too distracted by Diavolo's daughter to keep an eye on his boss. It could have been so simple, for Cioccolata, to...
"Am I the master here, or you? You'll not endure him? God shall mend my soul! You'll make a mutiny among my guests! You will set cock-a-hoop! You'll be the man!" the pink haired man slightly raised his voice - not enough for Giorno to hear - and made himself clear, so that if the green haired made any possible mess during his feast, he would have had to take his own responsibility.
"I will withdraw, then." the servant gave up on his ideas, but rudely. His one almost felt like a poisonous gaze. "But this intrusion shall now seeming sweet convert to bitter gall." he said, indirectly threatening an oblivious Giorno. Talking about him, during their conversation between the two men on the stairs, he turned unnoticed until Cioccolata left. When Diavolo looked down on him again, the golden haired boss was now in the middle of a crowded mess of people who was dancing, people who was eating and conversing. He was with you. Finally.
Giorno Giovanna approached you in a way you couldn't help but notice. He looked like the sun, a golden being, it caught your heart as well. Neverending seconds of staring at each other followed, until... "If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this." he gently took your hand in his. It felt warm. "My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss." as the man said so, he leaned in to leave a soft kiss on the back of your hand. His sweet scent overwhelming you as he moved. How gentle.
"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this." you withdrew your hand and slightly chuckled, reassuring him it was fine. Someway, the two of you found yourself moving away from the crowd. In a more intimate spot. Diavolo couldn't even find you. "For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch..." your sweet voice was soothing the man more than you would realize. "...and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."
Giorno bit his lip in anticipation, and gently exhaled. "Have not saints lips... and holy palmers too?" he asked, leaning down right towards your soft mouth, before you moved aside and, chuckling like an angel playing in a field, avoided the gentleman's kiss, jokingly scolding his mind with a mischievous smile.
"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." You provoked him. Where had Giorno Giovanna's temperance gone? He had swore to his councilor, just before leaving his house, that he wouldn't have let love blind his senses. And there he was. Plus, you did not know each other. You did not know who you were. You did not know you should have not been there together. Due to this, he gladly accepted your game, and chuckled back. God, he was so ethereal and he did not even realize it.
"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do." he begged, looking almost afraid of touching you, or your waist, or your own hand. How can someone fall so deep in love after having just met someone? Does love at first sight even exist? "They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." Don Giovanna's tone sounded impatient.
But you had accepted to play his game, and now you would have played it until the very end. You smirked, staring at the blonde man's trembling lips. "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." you said, implying the fact that you wouldn't have made the first step. It made sense, though. It was him, who had compared you to a saint first. Little did you know, you were playing with fire, for that man you felt love at first sight for, was your uncle's archenemy.
Giorno grinned, and hid you more against the wall, as your hands automatically wrapped around his figure. Though you didn't move in for a kiss. Until... "Then move not... while my prayer's effect I take.", said the man, grazing with his lips against yours, and finally pressing. You felt all your senses relieve and relax, as your hands grasped on the fabric of the Don's jacket. You didn't like your uncle's crimes. You wouldn't have liked Giorno's ones too. But you had no clue. And he had no clue you were Diavolo's niece/nephew. And you were in love.
His sugary sweet lips clicked against yours a last, neverending time, when he pulled back and thought staring right in your eyes was a good idea. "Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged." Don Giovanna whispered, breathing hard against your giggling mouth. He hadn't stopped playing, you noticed with a pleasant feeling.
"Then have my lips the sin that they have took...?" you slyly asked him, clearly wanting the kiss to continue, clearly wanting more, having no idea of how wrong it was. Having no idea of how dangerous is was. Though his eyes widened, and got even closer, so close to giving you what you wanted for the second time. You felt yourself growing so enamored.
"Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!" he paused for a second, before he bit his own lower lip. "Give me my sin again." Giorno whispered, grabbing your waist with his hand and kissing you, almost desperately, but romantically, against the wall. He had been so focused on anything else, that he had forgotten the true flavor of love, and living it all again after he had swore he wouldn't have done it, was way too intense. Way too beautiful. Better than the art he'd been collecting the latest years.
When he pulled back, you instictively smiled and raised an eyebrow, silently chuckling a little. "You kiss by the book..." you told him, caressing his neck gently and carefully. If it were for him and you, that beautiful moment could go on for hours, days, even an eternity. But beautiful things never last. The two of you almost had a heart attack, when the arm of a blonde, long haired man grabbed your right wrist, ripping your dream in half.
"Madam/sir, your uncle craves a word with you." he almost managed to get you away from Giorno, when the Don grabbed your left wrist, and pulled you towards him, not letting the man, Tiziano to be precise, bring you away.
"What's their uncle?"
At that question, the almond eyed man smirked, as if he was ready to drop a heavy bomb on the snooty Don. "Marry, bachelor, their uncle is the lord of the house, and a good man, wise and virtuous. I nursed his niece/nephew, that you talk'd withal." as if Tiziano had read into Don Giovanna's mind, he added something else, just for the sake of making it even heavier. "I tell you, he that can lay hold of them, shall have the chinks."
Then the blonde haired Don followed the two of you around the hall, until he saw you get pulled upstairs by Tiziano, and connected his brains to what he saw. Diavolo, waiting for you upstairs, and Tiziano holding your arm so that you wouldn't have been able to run away. Four painful words formed on Giorno's whispering lips. "Are they an enemy...?" he asked to himself, looking at you up there, until Trish didn't appear as well behind you.
Trish wasn't happy to be there, she loved Guido Mista, but apparently Diavolo had called all his family back. And your presence there, only confirmed his fear. You were about to step back towards him and say something, but Tiziano caught your shoulder just in time, and pulled you close enough to whisper you the words you would have never wanted to hear. "His name is Giorno." he added more details. "Giorno Giovanna. The only appearance you should match to your great enemy."
You stood there. Empty. You and your forbidden lover had understood what was going on. And both your hearts clenched. And both your hearts suffered. How could love be so beautiful yet so evil, to make a man live and die on the same evening. How...
We all know how this story ends, we know about the pain, we know about the sorrow. But what if this time it made sense. One of the lovers is dirty with criminal blood, running through his veins, and you accept him, in the good and in the bad. Is this right...?
Or is death the punishment, for the sin that in reality your lips hadn't purged at all?
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greenninjagal-blog · 3 years
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Deja Vecu
Hello, its been a while!! Please accept this release of the unpublished scene from Chapter Two of Deja Vu. Its basically 4k of Remus being gay for a stranger he keeps seeing die, and ain’t that a mood? :)
Summary: The Missing Scene in chapter 2 of Deja Vu, in which Remus agrees to help a stranger rob a casino.
Words: 4397
Read on Ao3 || Hero Worship Series || My General Writing Masterlist
At twenty-one years old, Remus finds out that robbing a casino is a lot less fun than Ocean’s Eleven led him to believe. It’s almost ridiculous the amount of security that went into protecting the chips and the cash on hand: following the path of the cash box from earlier, there’s two hired security guards framing the employee’s entrance, neither of whom like being touched nor can be persuaded to leave their posts together. There’s a card reader locking the door which despite looking like walnut wood, is actually steel with a clever paint job. And that’s just the first level.
“Predictable,” Dee says from where he had made himself comfortable on Remus’s bed with the complimentary note pad the hotel had supplied him. He had left his suit jacket on the desk to avoid the wrinkles but lounged on the foot of the bed without taking off his shoes. Remus had tossed himself down next to him, stretching out to gather all the pillows and built a throne for himself like he was eight instead of twenty-one.
Dee had watched him, back to wearing the face of the man who had approached him in the casino. Remus thinks he looks nice like that: hansom enough to please anyone who looked his way and charming enough to disarm anyone who might have seen him as out of place and forgettable enough that Remus couldn’t remember if they had gambled together previously.
“You don’t have to do that, you know,” Remus had pointed out. “I know what the real you looks like.”
Dee’s pen digs into the paper a little harder than necessary and Remus pretends he hadn’t noticed. The smile he receives is light and joking but it doesn’t meet his eyes at all. “I happened to like this appearance.”
Remus hums, “Lame. The scales are cool.” But he had let it drop in favor of twisting the purple casino chip between his fingers.
Dee taps his pen on the comforter in thought, his borrowed blue eyes distant as he mulled over Remus’s reports from futures that won’t happen. “What else did you notice?”
“Tessa isn’t your wife anymore, Danny.”
Dee snorts, which, by all means, should not be as graceful and elegant as he makes it seem. There’s a fluidity to the way he dips his head and scribbled on the pad of paper that makes him looks dignified. Or maybe that’s just the angle that Remus is looking at him with. A lock of his dark hair slips into his eyes and he brushes it back with two gloved fingers.
Remus falls back against the stack of pillows he had built around himself, breathing deeply and settling himself. The air smells like the lemon cleaner that the hotel staff had used to clean his room earlier when Remus had been out and about, but there’s hints of something else—something sweet and spicy with an undertone of wood.
--Dee blinks at the question, shifting so that he’s lying on his stomach, his head resting on his palm. “I wonder,” He says, with eyes so bright and blue and innocent that Remus feels like he’s stuck in them, “if you mean the Cardamom scent from my aftershave.” And Remus’s heart beats just a little faster, a little harder, a little more.—
“When I ask what else you notice,” Dee says, drawing Remus back to the present, “I meant your other senses. You’ve told me about what you’ve seen. What about sounds? The smells? You said you experience this as a first-person thing, correct?”
Remus waves a hand. “Its both. I’m there in person but I’m also having an out of body experience, too.”
Dee squints. “Doesn’t that…get confusing? How can you interpret all the stimuli at once?”
“Stimuli! What, are you a scientist in your free time?” Remus mocks, but Dee’s shoulders tense at the insinuation.
“You don’t have to tell me.” He says, “I was just curious.” He’s not, though. Remus isn’t quite sure how he knows, but Dee’s curiosity is more than just a simple question. It feels like it’s more, like he’s gathering information and sorting it away for later, like he’s making decisions based on Remus’s answers that have nothing to do with the how they are going to get into a Vault protected by a six digit code that only three people have and then get back out with more money than they can physically carry.
“Shame,” Remus says, feeling the shift in the bed as Dee’s shoulders unwind. “If you were a scientist you could dissect me for all the goodies inside! Of course, you can do that without being a scientist, too, but it’s not as fun.”
“Are you speaking from personal experience?”
Remus flips the coin in the air and catches it with the same hand. It comes up heads. “Why, does that scare you?”
Dee watches him, the pen absently twirling in the air between them. Remus can feel the weight of his gaze like a physical thing, pressing on his chest and making him self conscious of exactly how many breathes he’s been taking. The cotton comforter has a square pattern on it that he hadn’t noticed before, but he can count only three squares between the two of them. For some reason that information feels important.
“No,” Dee says after another moment passes and the air simmers. “I supposed it concerns me.”
Remus swallows the urge to laugh at his face.
“You just seem to be a useful person,” Dee continues, defensively. “I would hate to see that usefulness be squandered.”
This time Remus does laugh and it’s a bumbling bubbling burst of noise in their quiet world. His lungs shake and his heart hurts, but he laughs and something about it makes Dee’s smile softly too. The air is light, but there’s an underlying tension there, lurking in the shadows and reminding Remus that for all the dashing good looks and the semi honest expressions, the man before him is a stranger wearing a borrowed face and absolutely no one would miss him if he disappeared.
He flips the coin again, watching it roll over itself too many times to count, bounce off his hand and then flop to a stop direction between the two of them. Dee pokes it with the butt of his pen, like he was expecting it to get up and walk away.
“To answer your question,” Remus says, breathing in deeply enough to smell his cardamom aftershave and wondering why no one else in his twenty-one years of living had thought to ask him. “Seeing the future does get confusing. But it’s whatever. It never causes anything worse than a nosebleed.”
Dee hums and scribbles something down on his notepad. If Remus sat up just slightly, he would be able to see it, but he finds he likes the mystery more. Was it notes to use against him? Or was it things to think about in the future? Or was it still the colossal list of numbers they weren’t even a fraction of the way through?
--They manage to draw the guard’s attention away with a faked emergency: Remus never put stock in his own acting skills so he stumbles and falls on another patron and lets his head crack against the corner of the a craps table just far enough away that the guards are drawn the few steps over to check on both of them. Remus doesn’t bother responding to any of their prompts until Dee with the face of Tim the dealer swipes his borrowed card and lets the door behind him close. They had radios from the same place where Dee had procured the keycard from, and Remus thinks he could fall asleep listening to Dee’s breaths.
“Left, right, or center?” Dee asks.
“Left,” Remus hums, watching the casino patrons around him. A woman in her thirties just won at a baccarat table and tried to kiss the dealer. “There’s a camera at around the corner, but it roves. Your future self said to wait five seconds then go.”
Remus waves down a waitress and orders a mojito while he waits. Dee gives soft laugh at the concept and Remus tries to calm his nerves.
“You’re so uptight,” He says softly, almost to the point where Remus can’t hear him over the chattering of other people. “Relax a little, Remus. It’s just my life.”
“The Elevator code is 7-1-3-2,” Remus tells him. “And you’re going to want change your pretty little face to someone of a higher ranking on the casino hierarchy unless you want Terry Benedict to know what we’re up to.”
Remus holds his breath as the elevator dings, and then as Dee repeats the code as he types it in, and then as the doors rumble closed. He twists the glass of his drink when it comes as he listens for the subtle clues on how far Dee is inside the belly of the beast. It takes him a moment to realize that Dee is humming softly, and his lips twist into a smile without his permission.
There’s some garbled conversation on Dee’s end, pleasantries and greetings and nice things that Remus never bothered to memorize. Dee glides through the conversations with ease, deceiving and grifting like he had been born to do it. And who knows? Maybe he had been. Polite conversation gets them through another three doors, including a hall wracked the cameras and the final elevator that can only be opened with two keys and a pin code graciously provided by an aware high-level friend that followed them in and was still chatting about their Perfect Child’s first steps.
Remus sips his mojito and watches the girl at the nearest roulette table eye the betting board. She’s still going to lose so Remus finds himself more entertained by trying to extract the lime from his drink than from watching her pout yet again when the ball lands on the red 36.
“Ah yes, the vault code,” Dee’s voice says, dragging Remus back to the mission at hand. He’s casual, loose, and ready, and Remus doesn’t understand how he does it. He glances down at the piece of paper in his hand and reads off the six-digit combination that was next on their list.
“5-1-3-2-7-6,” Remus presses a hand to his earpiece, listening as closely as he can. His breath shortens with each second, crafting infinities out of each passing tick. He can hear Dee’s laugh and his he listens closer he can make out the guard that’s next to him still chattering away. Each button bings when Dee presses it in, soft and charming and not at all like a guillotine that’s cut their mission off a hundred-some times before.
“Hey man you, okay?” The person with Dee asks, less out of curiosity and more out of suspicion.
“Yes sorry my finger slipped,” Dee says quickly and punches in the next number in ascending order out of blind hope that it might be the correct one but it isn’t and Remus knows it because that’s when the person next to Dee asks him to back away and demands to know who he is and Dee’s placating answers are never enough so he tries to shift but bullets are faster than he is and Remus rips out his ear piece right before the gun goes—
“Another bust,” Dee sighs, drawing a snake on the corner of his paper. “Somehow I feel like we could win more playing on the casino floor than doing this….” He trails, off eyes distant again, thinking more about money than about the number of deaths Remus has witnessed.
It seems strange, that Remus would care so much more about that then he does, but in a way that doesn’t surprise him. Its Death with a capital ‘D’ and in Remus’s twenty-one years of experience, the only people who feared death were those who were aware of how close it was. Remus was practically best friends with Death, with the taste of the asphalt on the highway, with the feeling of a free fall, with the awkward fit of a hotel bathtub. He’s familiar with the cold silver of fear, but it doesn’t make him any less afraid.
Dee knows he keeps dying, though. Dying alone, deep inside a labyrinth of a building and Remus wonders if he should stop this while he’s ahead. He knows once that half hour mark hits in the future there’s no more Dee to be waiting for, no pay out. Just the pain of seeing a swarm of S.W.A.T. officers covertly weave between the patrons and leave with a human sized black bag. But Remus still waits and watches, holding dutiful vigil over a fruitless endeavor and letting hope build just for it to shatter with reality.
“Why does this mean so much to you?” Remus asks, somewhere between the fifteenth and the hundred fiftieth casino themed wake procession. His eyes burn a little, and he tries to tell himself it’s just the brightness of lights.
“Money is everything,” Dee marks the next two number off his list on his notebook and talks without listening to his own words. Its not fair that he sounds so convinced it’s true, when his mouth moves like he’s practiced this in the mirror. “What about you? Why do you continue to watch?”
Remus sinks back on his pillows, holding on to that faint scent of wood and spice and the feeling in his gut that comes from every time Dee listens to his advice from the future, from every time Dee listens and adheres, from every times Dee just believes.
Remus wonders how so much trust could be from this stranger who’s known him for an hour or two, and yet Roman had never been able to just accept what he said without an argument. He sounds crazy when he talks about what will happen, but Dee just nods and lets his lips twitch into a smile when handing him a roll of toilet paper.
Remus rips off another length the cheap paper and folds its in half before shoving it on his face. There’s blood in his mustache, which is frustrating and tastes just as gross as all the other times he’s had blood dripping down his chin.
“Remus,” Dee says, without looking up from his notepad.
“Yes, dearest stranger taking up half my bed?” He inhales hard.
“This is a fourth, at most.”
“Tomayto-tomahto.”
Dee shoots him a look that he can just barely make out around the clomps of flimsy paper he’s holding to his face. He looks like he’s trying not to be amused. Which is funny! Because, well, Remus can’t remember the last time someone who wasn’t related to him was in his company long enough to find him amusing.
“Why are you doing this?” Dee asks. “Other than the money, which we agreed would be a fifty-fifty split, regardless of how much we manage to walk out of here with….but somehow I don’t see money being enough for you to watch me die over and over again. Otherwise you wouldn’t have stopped me from lunging for that cash box.”
Remus is twenty-one when he shrugs and says, “It’s something to do.”
Dee huffs another dazzling laugh and for a moment Remus thinks he can see a flash of sharpened teeth in that smile, fangs like a vampire come to life, but it’s too fast for him to be sure. “Ah, I see we’re both liars tonight. Ready for the next attempt?”
Remus wonders if it’s still lying when its technically the truth. He’s doing this because its time spent with this shapeshifting sham, this enlightening enigma, this confusing con artist who lies as easily as breathing. Remus has a hard time believing anything personal he says is true, and yet he finds himself eyeing the three squared spaces on the comforter again wondering if it would be too much to make it two, one, none.
For someone who trusts Remus to see the future seven billions times as they try to figure out the vault code, who follows every direction Remus gives without hesitation, who continues to act as if Death is not something that can happen to him, he is extraordinarily hard to trust in return. Words are meaningless because he flaunts them, and Remus grew up watching Roman practice lines enough to know when someone was acting. Dee probably isn’t even his real name.
But Remus…Remus hasn’t been seen the way that Dee sees him before. Isn’t that enough for him to want to spend as long as he can with this stranger? Regardless of the danger Dee is running straight into? Regardless of the slight thrill that he gets from the prospect that they might get away with this?
-- There’s some garbled conversation on Dee’s end, pleasantries and greetings and nice things that Remus never bothered to memorize. Dee glides through the conversations with ease, deceiving and grifting like he had been born to do it. And who knows? Maybe he had been. Polite conversation gets them through another three doors, including a hall wracked the cameras and the final elevator that can only be opened with two keys and a pin code graciously provided by an aware high-level friend that followed them in and was still chatting about their Perfect Child’s first steps.
Remus sips his chocolate martini and watches the girl at the nearest roulette table eye the betting board. He knows from all the other times he’s watched that she loses, although as he peaks over at the numbers she’s never far off. It must be that excitement of the near win that keeps her there.
“Ah yes, the vault code,” Dee’s voice says, dragging Remus back to the mission at hand. He’s casual, loose, and ready, and Remus doesn’t still understand how he does it.
“5-1-3-3-4-1.”
He can hear Dee’s laugh and his he listens closer he can make out the guard that’s next to him still chattering away. Each button bings when Dee presses it in, soft and charming and not at all like the bells of victory when the code is right, holy shit. The Code was right. Dee’s breath catches in his throat, and Remus nearly drops his martini on the floor. His heart races in his chest with an emotion that he can’t quiet put a name too.
They did it.
They…won. Remus makes his way towards the doors where they were set to meet back up, and Dee continues a casual conversation with the armed guard about children as he fills both his briefcases with as much money as he can fit. By the breathless excitement in his voice, Remus can guess there’s more money in front of him than he expected to be able to get. He invites the guard over for family dinner next night because he’s an asshole and Remus finds that quality admirable.
He waves down a waitress to get a second drink, Dee’s celebratory drink, because as soon as he got past the doors they were home free-
“Hey! Hey! Stop him!” A voice yells in Dee’s ear and the shapeshifter curses.
“Remus!” He yells, “The executive is in the halls! He-!”
There’s a gunshot and a thud and Remus rips out his earpiece and screams loud enough to make all the nearest games freeze in their tracks—
“Let me guess,” Dee says, rolling over, “Another bust? The next numbers ar—”
“No,” Remus throws himself into a sitting position, and blindly grabbing for more toilet paper. The back of his throat is slick with a metallic taste and his head spins a bit when he tries to stand up. “No, Dee!”
“No?”
“Dee, we did it! That’s the code,” Remus says, pretending like his knees don’t buckle when the floor rolls under his feet. Dee is there in a moment, hands under his arms and holding him up completely. Its almost like a hug, Remus thinks distantly. He’s twenty-one and he can’t remember the last time someone hugged him even as a joke. His skin itches at the contact, blistering and burning at the warmth of someone else being so close to him. The cardamom scent is so strong, but Remus thinks he might be okay if that was the only thing he smelled for the rest of his life.
“Are you…okay?” Dee asks. “Why are you…?”
Remus uses the back of his hand to wipe away the stream of blood from his nose and inhales hard. “You died again. The executive you choose to impersonate is in the building and you run into him right before getting out with the cash.”
“Who was it? I can change into someone else.”
Remus shakes his head. “Oh no. I’ve got no clue, but if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s get someone’s attention.”
Dee grins, “You certainly got mine. What are you going to do?”
Remus slides his weight back and manages to stand on his own legs. Remus’s heart does a dance routine in his chest, moving like if it slows for even a second Dee will lunge forward and rip it from his body.
Remus tells him, “I’m going to go make a girl win at roulette so much they think she’s cheating. With a hundred thousand dollars on the line that should have their attentions, right?”
It’s not really a question. Remus knows from experience that the more games in a row that you win during a game involving so much luck, the more interest people start to take in it and you. He just needs to convince the girl to bet only where he tells her to, and then bet as much as she can.
He knows how to do it, too: simply walk up to her and offer her a free Barney if she bets on the square he tells her too. Once she wins, he tells her the next one, and maybe she puts a nickel down, or a quarter, just in case he’s wrong. When she wins again, he’ll tell her the next number, and she’ll put more on it. Then more. Then more. She doesn’t even need to believe that he can see the future. She just has to reap the rewards.
“Oh,” Dee says staring at him. “Oh.”
Remus isn’t sure what he’s looking at. He just knows that Dee’s eyes are as blue as the ocean and deeper than anything he’s ever drowned in. He’s looking at Remus again, like this is the first time he’s seeing him in this lighting, and when he smiles, his teeth are definitely sharper than before.
“I do believe,” Dee says, “we could make the best team of thieves there is out here.”
“You’re just now figuring that out?” Remus asks. “Come on. I didn’t listen to you die nine hundred times just for you to chicken out now.”
He grabs his jacket, and buttons it. With a swipe of his hands he’s hair sets back in the position before, like some type of magic act. If Dee’s the magician, Remus thinks he would be honored to be in the front row every time he performs.
“So, you’d be up to doing this again, correct?” Dee asks, with his hand on the doorknob.
“They won’t fall for the same trick twice,” Remus says, “And what makes you think that this is something I enjoy?”
“I didn’t ask if you enjoyed it. I asked if you’d do this again. Not here, but somewhere else.” Dee glances at him, side eyeing him in a way that makes the hair on the back of Remus’s neck stand on end. “You still owe me.”
“What?” Remus turns to face him, and if there’s a spark in his chest, a nudge of excitement, well who can blame him? People don’t usually want him to stay around.
Another step in the hall. “We made a deal, unless you’ve forgotten. You said that if I could figure out how you were cheating, you’d do one thing that I want you to do.”
Remus snorted and motioned between them, “What do you call this? What we’ve been doing for the past hour?”
“This?” The man gives him a shark-like smile, “You did this of your own volition!”
“I seem to recall you asking,” Remus challenges.
Dee shakes his head too innocently. “Not in this timeline.” He pulls out his pale-yellow handkerchief and offers it to him, “You still have blood on your face by the way.”
There’s something nice about the way that this man is looking at him, the way he’s still looking at him, like Remus is something more than a nuisance, more than a distraction, more than an unwanted, frustrating intrusion. It makes his knees weak and the back of his throat taste like blood again and he so desperately wants to look to the future but won’t let himself do it.
“What do you want?” Remus says, because the uncharacteristic fear in his chest is slowly turning all his organs to butterflies and he never goes back on a promise.
“Well, you did say anything I wanted right? Anything at all?”
Remus nods, rolling his finger over the snake design on the stolen poker chip. Suddenly there doesn’t seem to be enough air in the world, and he’s afraid if he inhales too deeply trying to get more, the whole reality will shatter.
Dee’s form shimmers, shivers, and dissolves into Tim the dealer as they wait for the elevator to take them back to the casino floor. It’s an entirely different person but when he looks at Remus all he can see is Dee’s expression.
“Well, Remus,” He says, “After we finish up here, I want you to come with me. Work with me a bit. Let me help you amass a bit of a fortune. Strictly professional, of course. I won’t ask about your past and you don’t ask about mine. We don’t even need to be friends! Just…”
Dee offers out a gloved hand to him. “Business partners?”
Remus is twenty-one and he thinks there might be a timeline out there where he says no, but he doesn’t even entertain that thought.
“Business Partners,” He says and shakes on it.
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