#but instead when my dad cuts me off for months at a time he thinks it’s justified

[allthingsfangirl101]

Extreme Proof – Steve Harrington

Tumblr Request by theamunsonsworld

My heart sank into my stomach when I looked up and saw Nancy Wheeler walking up to the ice cream counter. My stomach turned when I realized that it was Steve's turn at the cash register. I couldn't help but watch their interaction. They seemed. . . Perfect.

Steve and Nancy always seemed perfect. His smile was different. His laugh was different. His whole demeanor and attitude were different when he was around his ex-girlfriend. And I couldn't help but wonder why he settled for me.

I knew Steve and Nancy when they were dating. Well, I didn't know them know them. I grew up with them. I was in the same grade as Nancy and lived next to Steve and his parents. After they broke up, I could instantly tell that it had a bigger effect on Steve than it did on Nancy. She quickly moved on. He didn't.

Later that year, I started working at the ice cream shop within the new mall. I ended up being trained with Robin. Two months later, I trained Steve. It took him almost a week to recognize me as his neighbor. Once he made that connection, he put more of an effort into being nice to me. It wasn't until one night when the three of us got high while pretending to complete inventory that things finally escalated between us.

~ • ~

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Robin giggled. Her laughter made Steve and I laugh.

"Probably not," he shrugged.

"Definitely not," I corrected. "But who cares?!"

All three of us started laughing harder. All of a sudden, Robin jumped up and ran into the other room complaining about being hungry. I looked over at Steve, both of our laughter stopping. I cleared my throat and turned away from him, taking a puff. Without looking at him, I handed the blunt to him. He took it but didn't let go of my hand.

"I'm really sorry, Y/N," he whispered.

"For what?" I asked, forgetting why I wasn't looking at him.

"For forgetting you," he explained, his voice still soft.

"Steve," I sighed, finally pulling my hand out of his.

"Y/N," he quickly said, stopping me from walking away. "We spent our entire childhoods living right next to each other. I constantly looked over."

"You did?" I said, even though I had told myself not to respond.

"Every time I looked over at you, you guys always looked so happy," he said, maintaining perfect eye contact. "You ate dinner together. You watched movies together. Your dad helped you with your homework. You spent every weekend helping your dad with yard work and helping your mom with housework. I was so jealous."

"Why?"

"You guys did everything as a family," he said. "And all I wanted was to be a part of it."

"A part of it?" I repeated. "Why would you want to be a part of my. . ."

Steve leaned over and cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. My mind was too cloudy for me to make any sense of this. So, instead of making sense of it, I gave in. I started kissing him back and things slowly escalated. We probably would've gone the whole way if Robin hadn't literally fallen into the room.

~ • ~

After that night, I didn't work the weekend. Another teenager asked for extra hours and I gave up mine. Monday, when I finally went back to work, I walked in and instantly made eye contact with Steve. Before either one of us was forced to fill the awkward silence, I went to the back room and found my name tag. I turned around and was about to walk back out when I suddenly wasn't alone.

~ • ~

"Steve," I gasped. "I was just. . ."

He cut me off by grabbing my hands and pulling me closer. "I think we need to talk."

"We really. . ."

He cut me off again by pressing his lips to mine. I was clear-headed and still didn't hesitate to kiss him back. As our lips moved in sync, I let out a small chuckle. My laugh made Steve slowly break the kiss.

"What?" He asked with a small smirk on his face.

"I seem to see a pattern developing," I teased.

"And what pattern is that?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"From what I can remember from last Thursday," I smiled, "you seem to only kiss me when you want me to shut up."

"First of all," he started to list off, "there are worse ways to tell someone to shut up. And second, that's not the only reason I kissed you."

"Really?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Of course it's not," he whispered. "The truth is Y/N, I have feelings for you."

My heart jumped into my throat as Steve stared at me with soft eyes. "You do?" I whispered, not sure what else to say to him. "Since when?"

"Since we were kids," he said simply.

"All that time?" I stuttered. Steve smiled as he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"All that time."

~ • ~

Things changed after that. Steve took me on lunch dates, rearranged his work schedule so we were on the same shift, and even came by the days he didn't work and I did. As good as everything was for us, I couldn't shake this feeling that something was hovering over us. It didn't take long for me to figure out what was hovering over us.

When it got too painful to watch Steve take Nancy's ice cream order, I turned around and instantly grabbed the broom from the storage closet. I kept my back to the counter as I swept the floor. When I was done, I instantly started cleaning tables.

"I thought I was on cleanup duty," Robin said. I didn't dare turn around. I didn't want to watch Steve make Nancy's ice cream sundae. I heard Robin sigh before she grabbed my hand. She took the rag and tossed it onto an empty booth before dragging me to the small lounge we had back behind the counter.

"Talk," she demanded.

"About what?"

"Don't play dumb," she sighed. She lowered her voice as she continued, "I know what you're thinking, Y/N. Steve is not in love with Nancy."

"It's just. . ."

"He's not," she cut me off. "Steve and Nancy happened a long time ago. He's so much happier now, Y/N. Now that he has you."

"I can't help but. . ."

"What?" She pushed me when I didn't continue.

"I can't let go of the feeling that Steve still has feelings for her," I confessed. I looked up and saw Steve and Nancy still talking at the counter. "See?"

Robin turned around and sighed when she saw my boyfriend talking to his ex-girlfriend. "I'm sure you're reading into it," she stuttered. "I mean. . ."

I didn't hear whatever excuse she was struggling to come up with. Instead, I went to the back freezer and started unloading random things. I jumped when two arms wrapped around me.

"You know I love you, Robin," I said, trying to tease, "but not like that."

"Ha ha," Steve laughed sarcastically as he spun me around. His smile faltered when he saw the look on my face. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I cleared my throat. "Why wouldn't it be?"

I walked away and reached down, picking up a tub of our new flavor that's been selling fast. Steve walked over, gently grabbed it out of my hands, and placed it back on the shelf.

"What's going on, baby?" He asked, his voice lowering to a whisper.

"It's nothing," I stuttered, matching his tone.

"Robin told me."

My stomach dropped. I pulled my hands out of his and instantly wrapped my arms around myself.

"Baby," he sighed, gently grabbing my arms and pulling me closer. "We've talked about this. There is nothing between me and Nancy anymore."

He started to lean in to kiss me, but I gently stopped him. "We should get back to work," I said softly. I started walking out of the freezer, but he grabbed my wrist.

"No," he said firmly. "Y/N, we need to talk about this. We have talked about this. I know you think you aren't good enough for me, but, baby, you need to get passed those insecurities."

"Get passed them," I scoffed, stepping away from him. "Like it's so easy. Tell me, Steve, how easy was it for you to get past your insecurities with high school and being known as Steve "the Hair" Harrington? Not so easy, huh?"

"That's not fair," he sighed.

"You don't get it," I said, my voice breaking. "Nancy. . . She's. . . Nancy Wheeler is everything that I'm not."

"Except for one thing," Steve quickly interjected. "She isn't the girl I want to be with. She's not you, Y/N. And I want to be with you."

"You have to try to understand, Steve. This isn't easy for me. I mean. . . I've never had a serious boyfriend before and. . . Seeing you with her. . . It's not easy on me, okay? It just. . ."

"What?" He asked a little too harshly. "Try and explain it to me, Y/N."

"I can't," I whispered. "And if you can't understand it then. . ."

"Then what?" He sighed, clearly losing his patience with me.

"Then maybe we shouldn't be together."

Before he could agree with me or fight for me, I turned on my heels and ran. I ran out of the ice cream shop, out of the mall. When I got outside, I stopped for a brief second and let out a small scoff.

It was raining.

"Of course," I mumbled. I looked around, my eyes landing on the payphone. I ran through the rain toward the payphone. I grabbed some coins out of my pocket and called my brother.

"Speak!" He answered.

"Eddie," I said, my voice breaking.

"What happened?" His whole demeanor changed. "Y/N, what's wrong?"

"I think. . . I think Steve and I just broke up."

"What?!" I covered my mouth to muffle my sob as Eddie continued to angrily mumble. "I swear I am going to. . . It'll be the last thing. . . I'm gonna kill. . . Wait, what happened?"

"Nancy came into the shop today," I said, my voice shaky.

"Y/N," Eddie sighed. "Steve is not still in love with Nancy. It's all in your head."

"But you didn't see them together, Ed," I instantly defended myself.

"Look," he said gently, "I know you've had your issues with your self-confidence and with constantly comparing yourself to Nancy Wheeler, but, you gotta stop. It doesn't matter that Steve and Nancy used to have a thing. He's not with her anymore."

"He's with me," I cut him off. "I know. I know. But it's not like it was his choice."

"What are you talking about?"

"She broke up with him, Eddie," I said, my voice dropping.

"So?"

"That doesn't mean he stopped loving her."

"Y/N," he sighed. "I believe Steve when he says he doesn't love Nancy anymore. Why don't you?"

"Because why would he want me?" I yelled, finally letting out all my insecurities and frustrations. "I'm boring, Eddie. I don't have any friends. All I do is go to school, come home, do my homework, and go to bed a 9. Why would Steve "the Hair" Harrington fall for someone as boring as me? I'm not smart. I'm not funny. I'm not beautiful. I'm not enough for him, Eddie. Why does no one else understand this?!"

I slammed the phone back onto its receiver and turned around. Usually, Steve takes me home from work, but I had to get out of here. I saw the bus at the bus stop and instantly started running towards it in hopes of catching it.

One minute I was running through the rain. The next, I was falling. As I landed, I hit my head hard. I tried to think. I tried to sit up. I tried to move, but it was like I was frozen. Soon, the world started to spin. It wasn't long before the darkness took over. But right before it did, I thought I heard someone yell my name.

"Y/N?!"

* * * * *

I woke up a little while later being warmer than I was when I first fell asleep.

"I told you, Eddie," I heard my Uncle Wayne sigh, "she hit her head pretty hard. She may be out for a couple of more hours."

"She's awake," I heard Steve say with a small chuckle.

"How do you. . ." Eddie didn't finish his question when he turned around and saw me watching them. I was back in my room and the three of them were standing in the doorway.

I smiled when Eddie ran to my side. He was already sitting next to me and holding my hand by the time Uncle Wayne walked into my room.

"How are you feeling, kiddo?" He asked me.

"Okay," I shrugged. "I think. I mean. . . I'm a little confused."

"You slipped," Steve said, his voice softer than normal.

"What?" I stuttered.

"You were running toward the bus," Steve explained as he slowly walked into my room. "With the rain and the puddles, you slipped. I walked out of the mall right as you fell. I ran over to you, but you were barely conscious."

"Oh," I said under my breath. Suddenly, a thick tension fell between the two of us. If it wasn't for that tension, I would've laughed when Uncle Wayne hit Eddie's arm.

"We'll give you two some privacy," he said as he practically dragged Eddie out of my room. As soon as it was just us two, Steve sat on the edge of my bed.

"We need to talk about this," he said softly. "I can't stand the idea of you thinking you're not good enough for me."

"I just. . ."

"Please," he gently cut me off. "I need to say some things and I need you to hear them, okay? You are enough for me, Y/N. You are the perfect girl for me. I know you struggle with my and Nancy's friendship. If I could make it better for you, I would. The only way I can start to make it better is to tell you that I am completely, one hundred percent over Nancy Wheeler. I am also completely, one hundred percent into you. I don't know why you think you're not enough for me, but you are. You are enough, baby. No one is better for me. You make me extremely happy. You make it so I don't have to be fake. If I'm not happy, you know it. If I'm struggling, you know what to do to help me. I promise, Y/N, there is nothing between me and Nancy. Not anymore. Not ever again. I haven't had feelings for her for a long time. You make me happy. There is no one in this world I would rather be with than you."

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I grabbed his face and pressed my lips to his. He instantly wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. Every insecurity, every worry, disappeared as we kissed. Steve broke the kiss, both of us breathing heavily.

"I don't just want you," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said, my voice breaking. My smile fell as I continued, "I'm really sorry, Steve. I never should've. . . I shouldn't. . . I was wrong. I should've believed you when you kept telling me you were over her."

"It's okay," he soothed. "But next time, promise me that you'll talk to me if you ever feel something like that again. Please, baby. Promise me."

"I promise."

Steve smiled as I pulled him toward me and laid down. That night, I fell asleep with Steve's arms wrapped tightly around me.

#steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stranger things #requested imagine #joe keery #joe keery request #steve harrington request

[echobx]

not my type 3 - Rafe Cameron x plus size!fem!reader

summary: y/n is trying to reconcile with her feelings towards Rafe

warnings: angsty, swearing, Rafe being a bit of an ass

word count: 3.1k

author's note: I don't really know what happened. I'm sorry /gen

part 1 part 2

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“What's he doing here?” you hiss at your best friend when you watch Rafe walk in, a blonde girl on his arm as he is greeted by your father.  “Your dad invited all the partners, you signed up on that, remember,” Claire reminds you and you groan. If you had remembered that he'd be there, you would've worn something else. Something more revealing.  “He doesn't look like-” Claire mumbles as you turn and drag her with you towards the bar. “I know he doesn't. And he's not my type. And I hate him,” you list, and she lifts her eyebrows at you.  “But?”  “I haven’t- I tried everything okay, literally everything. But I can't cum,” you whisper. “The only time I manage to even get close to it, is on my own picturing him. And I hate it. I don't like it at all. It's disgusting and shouldn't be happening. Especially not to me.”  “I think we should get drunk. Hammered, actually. Like in college,” she smiles and orders two shots of tequila for each of you. You down the shots and turn back around to watch the mass of people in front of you. Everyone is mingling but no matter how much you try to not pay any attention to him, your eyes seem to be stuck.  He looks good. Too good. The loose suit shirt half unbuttoned, giving view to his abs just enough to make you wanna rip the fabric off. 

It had been three whole months. Three months since he had left you wanting more. Three months since you had made him sleep on your couch, denying him the pleasure to sleep in your bed after what he had pulled at the restaurant and when you had woken up he had been gone. No note. No goodbye. Nothing.  It was a clean cut. The same thing you did the first time round. Just that he managed to make you cave, and you can't let it happen again. You have too much self-respect to let him get to you, again. Too much resentment towards him. Too much of all of it for him to ruin you. And besides, you can always hold onto the fact that he really isn't your type, he'd never be. 

“Abort. Abort! Move, y/n/n! They are on their way over,” Clair pushes against you, but it feels like you're stuck. “And they're here.”  “Mr. Cameron, you remember my daughter,” your dad smiles politely, and you do your best to mirror it, but refusing to actually look at Rafe. To meet his gaze and get lost in it. Too scared that it'll remind you of that day.  You hold out your hand to shake his, but instead of giving it a proper shake, Rafe takes your hand softly into his own. He leans down and kisses your knuckles, staring right into your eyes, and you can swear your heart is about to stop. And there you are again, mentally trapped under the weight of his hot body, his eyes never leaving yours as he pounds into, nearly splitting you in half.  You could swear he thinks of it too when your eyes linger before you harshly pull your hand away.  “I remember him well. Please, do enjoy the party,” you say and quickly excuse yourself to the restroom. 

You lock yourself in a stall, sitting down on the toilet and trying to keep yourself from crying.  “Are you okay?” Claire asks and you let out a choked cry.  “No. I don't think so, no.” You shake your head. It's unfair that you feel like this while he's perfect and not at all having any issues with it.  “If you cry, bend over, so the tears fall on the floor and don't ruin your makeup,” she suggests, and you stand to follow her instructions, just in case.  “Please tell me she's an escort. I can't deal with this if she isn't,” you press out. You don't know what exactly is wrong with you, never having been in a situation like this before.  “I don't think so. But I can do some research on it and get back to you,” you hear her stilettos on the marble as she walks away.  “He's no one. You don't care. You hate him. He's an asshole. A complete asshole,” you tell yourself, and it seems to help at first, but when you close your eyes he's there again. Brushing sweaty strands of hair from your face and telling you that you're his. And it all starts anew. 

“Y/n? Are you still in there?” you hear Claire ask and reply with a quick “yes.” “So, not an escort, but they just met at a bar. I guess he just brought her along to mess with you.”  “I think I'm having a heart attack,” your breath hitches, and you hold yourself up with a hand pressed to the stall door, still standing bent over like she had suggested earlier.  “Okay, tell me your symptoms, and I'll look it up. I'm not gonna call an ambulance if it's not real,” she replies, and you hate that you love her for being so pragmatic. “I can't breathe, and my chest feels narrow and at the same time as if it's about to burst and I wanna rip his head off,” you cry out.  “Yeah, no, WebMD says- Actually, you're probably right, it's probably just a heart attack,” your best friend doubles down quickly. Lifting your head you unlock the door and step out, snatching the phone from her hands to read the screen.  “What the fuck does WebMD know about heartache? How am I supposed to even have gotten that? I don't even like anyone. Especially not Rafe Cameron!” you sneer.  “Okay, let's just calm down and then go back out there and not make a scene. You think we can do that?” Claire slowly pulls her phone out of your claws, and you glare at yourself in the mirror.  “Of course we can.” It takes you a second to switch up your face, back to smiling and pretending like your life was just as good as everyone thought it to be. “Who cares about some small town asshole, right?”

You manage to spend the rest of the night without much drama, always making sure to not be close enough to him so he couldn't share another look with you or even get close enough to pull you away. 

And when you get home you pull off your heels and throw them to the side while stepping out of the elevator.  It takes some time to peel yourself out of the outfit you had forced yourself into, and even longer to free your hair from all the fixing gel the stylist had put in it.  In the end you find yourself curled up on your couch, sweats on and a blanket drawn over you while eating ice cream and watching your favorite movie, just to make it easier on your heart. 

You really want to avoid going to the office the next day, but after your dad announced to open another office down in Florida, you didn't expect him to put so much of the work on you to make up for it.  That's how you find yourself buried in paperwork and working through the night, making it 4am when you finally get back home.  And you're exhausted, drained and moody and not at all able to rejoice. The job you once loved is reduced to a dull day to day bullshit that you can only imagine being the worst you have ever felt. And all of it was because of him. 

“You need to look at the Cameron account. He says we gave him a bad deal. Fix it,” your dad orders the next day, and you grit your teeth, but you can't just not do it. This was professional, nothing personal should've ever gotten in the way of that. “I'll fly down next thing tomorrow morning,” you tell him and hang up the phone. But getting back to the paperwork seems impossible. 

The jet lands and you smell the salty air, so clean compared to New York.  “Do you want to go to the hotel to freshen up first, miss?” your driver asks.  “No, take me to the office. I want to be off this island again, as fast as possible.” 

“Mr. Cameron isn't available right now,” his assistant tells you and you scoff.  “He’s not getting a better deal unless he gets his ass over here in the next five minutes. Do you understand that?” you stare her down, and she nods before getting on the phone.  “He's on his way, Miss,” she says shyly after hanging up, and you smile at her. “Thank you.” 

“Didn't think you'd actually come down here for it,” Rafe mocks a laugh as he walks into the building, pulling his glasses off.  “I take my job rather seriously, Mr. Cameron.” You look him up and down, there is no mistaking. He had been out golfing.  “Let's go to my office,” he starts walking, and you follow, clenching your jaw because your eyes keep darting down to his ass, that looks so delicious in the tight pants. 

“What's the issue with the contract?” you ask flatly, whilst taking the seat opposite of him.  “Oh, there's no issue with the contract. Not that I don't think it's a perfect contract, but it's giving good enough profit on my end, so I shouldn't care too much about it,” he waves it off and you can feel your blood boiling.  “Why did you make me fly all the way down here for nothing!” You spit out and stand, harshly pushing your chair back as you do.  “That's it, that's the issue. There's nowhere in there where it says ‘Miss y/l/n has to come and check in on Mr. Cameron every once a month.’ We missed that little line, I'm afraid,” he's cocky. Too cocky. And for once you don't find it charming.  “I'm your boss, remember?” Your eyes narrow and he smirks deeply.  “You wouldn't be if I dropped you. I can always just do that. Unless you don't want me to. We wouldn't wanna disappoint daddy, right?” he mocks and you swallow hard. But he's bluffing, he has to be.  “He'll understand after I tell him how you took advantage of me. Two can play this game, Rafe,” you say his name with so much disgust in your voice that he's pretending to be offended by it.  “If anything, you were the one taking advantage of me. I mean, you are my superior after all. And I'm just a young man, who lost his father and is struggling to keep his company afloat.”  “You're a real asshole, you know that?”  “Been told before,” he grins. 

“What do you really want?” you finally cave and ask the question that had been lying on your tongue since landing on the island.  “You,” he looks at you, no hint of a lie in his eyes.  “I don't want you, though,” you lie nonchalantly. But your heart is racing, and the heat has been puddling in your pants for some time.  “Why not?”  “I don't need to give a reason for that. At least I didn't go around hiring escorts or whatever for events that no one even wanted me to be at,” you huff.  “Your dad invited me personally. He called, telling me about how much of a Debbie Downer you are. He actually tried to apologize for your behavior that day,” Rafe laughs and your eye starts twitching, nostrils flaring and jaw clenching in anger.  “Listen, I know it's partially my fault, but I was the only one there who was actually prepared to teach you a lesson. I don't know if you've learned it yet, but I'd be more than happy to give you a refresher on it.”  “You're fucked in the head, Rafe,” you mutter before going to walk out.  “Yeah, ‘cause I'm the one with the unresolved issues here,” he calls after you as you storm out. 

You know you can't go home already, it'd be too suspicious, so you take the room at the dumb hotel and at least try to relax a little. 

The next morning your dad calls just to tell you to check out on the properties, make sure that Rafe wasn't selling undervalue.  You make your way to the construction sites, your jeans and skimpy shirt are the only thing covering your body as you fight the heat.  “The best Italian marble, Miss,” the site manager tells you while walking you through what would later be the master-bathroom.  “Looks good. Will you be able to stick to the schedule?” you ask and hear a familiar laugh behind you.  “Of course they will, we've got only the best men down here, Miss.” Rafe walks over and you roll your eyes.  “I care about numbers and about making my clients happy. The rest is not on my level of expertise, especially the quality of men down here,” you tell him before looking back at the manager. “Thank you so much for the tour.” 

You turn in your heels and walk out to what will one day be a beautiful garden. “Walk with me, Cameron.”  “Are you suddenly interested again, or?”  “Keep it in your pants, asshole. No, and I'll never be ever again.”  “You say that now,” he smirks, and you roll your eyes again.  “I'm not a puppet for anyone. Not for my dad, and especially not for you. Do you understand?” you urge, and he runs his hand over the light stubble on his chin.  “I was just like that, then my shit father died and some therapy later, and now we're better than ever.”  “You're wrong. I'm not like you, and I'll never be. Wanna know why?” you lean in and he swallows.  “Pretty sure you're about to tell me, sugar.”  “Because I actually chose this life because I wanted it, not because I felt guilty or like I needed some praise. My life is perfect as is. Understood?”  “Sure you are,” he laughs.  “I am!”  Rafe leans in and whispers, “is that what you tell yourself, late at night when you can't cum unless you think of me. The way I made you beg, and you could only finish ‘cause I let you. Because at the end of the day, you'll always be my good girl.”  You push him away from you, watching him stumble backwards, before stomping back to the house, through it and getting into your car. 

You can't help it, it feels like he's jinxed you. And when you're back at the hotel and try to get off, you once again can't. It's frustrating to say the least and the worst part of it is that he knows, and you don't know how he found out, but it's too late for that. 

You didn't intend to find yourself knocking on his door. But here you are, standing in your sweats and hoodie, hammering on the windowpane until you can see him run down the stairs, and you wrap your arms around yourself.  “What are you doing here?” Rafe asks but lets you in, anyway.  “I had a nice life. I was content with it all. I was happy. I could go to clubs and hook up in a dirty bathroom and get off whenever I liked. I was free!” you yell at him, but it's hard to stay focused the way he's standing in front of you. Bare chest and gray sweatpants that never could've tried to hide the outline of his massive dick even if he had wanted to.  “I understand,” he tries his best to not smile as he wets his lips.  “You owe me one. That's for fucking sure. So, I came to cash it in so we can go back to pretending neither of us exist or have any interest in each other in any way. Ever. Good?” you tilt your head to the side before storming past him upstairs into his bedroom.  “That's a really bad idea!” Rafe calls after you, but he's also not actively stopping you. And when you open the door to his bedroom you know why. Or better who. 

“Are you coming back to bed?” His assistant is lying there, face pressed into his pillow and completely naked.  “Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me,” you huff a laugh, pushing past him just as he made it up the stairs.  “Y/n, I can explain,” he tries, but you're filled with rage.  “Why would you need to explain anything? You're free to do what you like, or in this case who. I just don't know if HR would like to know about this arrangement,” you scream, not giving a single fuck about the girl.  “We don't have HR,” Rafe reminds you.  “Fine. You're fired.” Your voice has reached a pitch that you had never heard of yourself before and breathing got harder by the second.  “You can't fire me.” “I can do whatever the fuck I want, Rafe! I can do anything I want!” ‘Apart from getting what I want, what I need,’ you think, but you don't tell him that.  “I would've kicked her out if I'd known,” he tries to console you while following you back downstairs.  “Oh, that's really soothing. Thank you, Rafe,” you scoff.  “You're acting a little crazy right now, sugar.”  “Says the guy who made up an emergency, so I would have to come down here in the hopes that I'd jump his bones? And the fact that it would've nearly worked if you weren't so fucking selfish. You're such a selfish asshole!” You don't even realize that you're crying until you rip the door open and the cold wind makes your teary face feel frozen.  “And you're a bitch,” he snaps back, finally actually fighting.  “You left without saying goodbye!”  “You made me sleep on the fucking couch!”  “I should've kicked you out on the street!”  “Why the fuck are you suddenly pretending to care so much about what I think or do? I'm not even your type, remember?” he sneers and your walls, the perfectly built walls inside of you start crumbling. 

“I don't have a fucking type, Rafe! I don't get to have a type! I get to take any hot guy that thinks it'd be fun to fuck a fat chick, because they are high or have to get a dare out of the way. And you don't get to hurt me. You don't get to tell me how to feel about myself. Do you get that? This is my game, I'm the queen, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, you could be different. But you're not. You're just who I thought you'd be. No disappointment there.” Your rant calms you down a bit, and you get quieter with each sentence. “I'm going home. Don't even think about ever stepping foot into my city again.” 

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please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180@drwstarkeyy@notdxbya @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

part 4

#rafe cameron #obx #rafe cameron x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic #obx fanfiction #~fanfiction #my writing #angst

[readychilledwine]

Could i request something where az and reader are mates. They have a huge fight and “break up” and reader leaves the court. She finds out that she is pregnant and writes him a letter. He never shows up so she thinks he doesn’t want the baby. Rhys visit the court she is in and sees her with a child maybe a couple months old. He is mad because she didn’t told him and when he ask her why she keeps his nephew away she tells him that she wrote az but he never answered. Rhys is mad and ask az what is up with him to just leave his pregnant mate. Unbeknownst to him that az was searching for her the whole time. Az tells him that he never got a letter and they find out that maybe elain burned it. It takes some time for them but they find their way back and just fluff azriel dad who teaches his son how to fly.

( you could write more angst between reader and az because of elain or you could use a maid or something who wants az)

Here Without You

Summary - Being a single mother was more painful than you'd ever thought it would be, especially when your son's father was just a court away.

Warnings - Angst, Elain showing those claws, single mom status, a child, PPD and the thoughts that come with it, **edited to add** cheating

A/N - I had one of my friends who is a single mom help me with this one while also imagining my life without baby daddy, and um, yeah. We cried a lot, so hopefully, you all do too.

*message from Liz regarding the ending at the end*

💙Peep my Azriel Masterlist Here💙

You had decided whatever you had done to offend the Mother must have been truly unforgettable and unforgivable as you sank against the wall of your family chambers in the Day Court Palace.

Being a new mother was the hardest thing you had ever and will ever do. You had finally gotten Nox down after 3 hours of fussing and tears, and now you waited. He'd sleep 2 hours if you were lucky, wake up crying, and you'd start the process over.

You had wished for your mate more times than you could count, but that bridge was long gone and burned. He had ensured of that by not coming when you wrote him, by not even bothering to write you a response.

The last fight between you and Azriel had been ugly. Glasses had been thrown, a bottle of wine knocked over in rage, cruel words you would both have to live with ringing in your ears like a scream. 350 years. Gone. Thrown away like garbage. All for Elain.

Selfish, plotting, destructive Elain.

You stood, body swaying with sleep deprivation setting in before sitting at the table where your now cold food set. You were too tired to eat, choosing to instead drink the water you had been desperately craving 4 hour ago.

You had wished you could turn it to wine, drink it with no consequences, and still feed Nox when he woke, but that was not the reality of the world. So, instead, you allowed the room temperature flavorless beverage to slide down your throat before moving like a ghost to the couch. There was no point in getting comfortable in your own bed. You would have to be up soon anyway. It wasn’t as if you had help.

You were alone.

And that wasn't even the most painful part of it.

The most painful part was setting in doubt. The growing disbelief that you weren't capable of this, that Nox deserved more, that you should have dropped him at the cabin you had no doubt Elain had moved into, leaving him with her and Azriel to allow you to-

You cut your brain off, refusing to put those words into a full thought. Refusing to believe that your disappearance or death was better for your son than this.

This had to be enough, you had to be enough, because Gods if it wasn't and you weren't, then what truly was the point in living any longer.

Helion entered your chambers the next morning, eyes falling to where you were sat on the floor, shoulders shaking as sobs tore through you. He placed a large warm hand on your shoulder before taking Nox from your arms. "I know I can not offer much of a break due to his feeding cycle, but when is the last time you ate a hot meal, y/n?"

You shook your head. He was 2 weeks old. You supposed it had been before labor. Since then, it had been moments begging for just a second of deep sleep. Moments begging for the Mother to help you, to guide you. Moments where those prayers went unanswered as if they were just thrown into a void. "I don't remember."

Helion could have killed Azriel for you, for Lucien, for Nox. He almost had when you had winnowed yourself here, collapsing in his arms from the exhaustion magic and a growing babe had caused your body.

You hadn't known when you came to the Day Court, begging your oldest friend for a week of safety and healing that you were pregnant, but the High Lord had scented it the second you appeared.

It left him wondering how the hell Azriel hadn't.

"Let me hire a wet nurse for you," he offered again, knowing you would turn it down since your depressive state had you hyper fixated in this belief that all you were good for now was your breasts, and if you gave that duty away, what purpose did you have? "At least for the next few hours. To give you time to rest?"

You still shook your head, messy, tangled hair trying to sway. "I can't. I can't burden someone else."

Helion turned his head away from you, willing himself not to cry at the emptiness of your voice, at the lifelessness you had become.

"The Night Court and Spring are coming today," he started slowly. "I am the magic selected neutral ground for Tamlin and Rhysand to begin setting a peace treaty and trade routes." He waited for your reaction, almost breaking further as you gave him none. "Do you want to see any of them?"

"Lucien and Tamlin."

Helion felt his heart shatter for Cassian, the male who had been asking about you for months now. "The general-"

"Is Azriel's brother. And probably has taken his side. Attempts to see me are probably to give him some sick sort of satisfaction."

He dropped the subject immediately. Nox was asleep, content in the High Lord's arms. "I have time before they arrive, go nap." Helion ordered it, eyes blazing a soft gold and forcing you into submission.

Your bed had never felt so soft.

Helion was walking with Nox around the Palace, smiling and cooing the little male. He was always content when he was being held, and you were so deeply asleep you hadn't even noticed Helion holding the boy to your chest as he nursed. He walked towards where Lucien and Tamlin were.

His son, his pride and joy, looked just radiant in his Day Court attire. The soft, off-white pleaded fabric draping him showed the new healthy build he had gained since Azriel and Elain's transgressions, a golden snake wrapped his bicep, new golden earrings adorned those many piercings.

Lucien paused, a look of concern etching his face when he saw Nox before shaking his head rapidly.

But it was too late, Helion was already in the room where Rhysand also stood with the Inner Circle. The Lord of Night's face fell as he looked at the Illyrian boy, looking so happy up at Helion as he dozed off.

Cassian had frozen, mid sentence with Nesta. He had tried to take a step, wanting to see the babe he immediately knew was his nephew. His eyes met Helion's pleading with permission to approach. Elain's face had paled. A mix of guilt and fear running across it before she schooled it into a faked look of hurt and sadness.

But it was Azriel's face the broke the High Lord. It was a look he knew all too well.

The look of a father who missed the birth of his child.

The look of a father who didn't know he had a child.

The look of a father mourning lost time.

Lucien moved to Helion, taking Nox before leaving the room quickly. The boy did as he always did when his head found Lucien's warm bare shoulder. He released a heavy breath, snuggling into that familiar scent and warmth. "Your mother did not call for me last night," they all heard his soft voice trailing off, speaking to their nephew softly.

"You will tell me everything I do not know," Rhysand demanded as if he was in his own court. "When the fuck was he born. Why were we not informed of her pregnancy?"

Tamlin looked to Helion, digging the shit further. "Is she in the same room as last time?" The Lord of Day nodded. "I will go see her while you all deal with this."

Helion didn't answer, walking to the centered round table and taking the head seat. "To begin, Rhysand, this is my court. You will not make demands of me in my home." They all sat, aside from Azriel. His gaze was locked on the hallway Lucien and Tamlin had gone down.

If he ran, he could catch them. He could see you. He could-

The slam of hands on a table ripped him from his thoughts, and his head snapped to Helion. The High Lord was blazing, glowing like the sun itself, heat radiating from him. "Sit. Down."

An hour later and Rhysand had the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers. "You saw her send each letter?"

Helion rolled his eyes, nodding again. "Every month after every check up and once after the birth."

Rhys pointed to Azriel. "But you never got them?"

"My son wouldn't be in another court if I had," Azriel's voice mirrored yours. Broken, empty, mourning. Mourning what was, what he had missed and would never get back. "You're sure she sent them to me?"

Helion could have snapped his neck. "Who else would have fathered her babe? You are the one who stepped out of the bonds of marriage and mateship. Not her."

Azriel paused, a sudden look of anger gracing his face as he looked up at Elain, shadows curling his ears. Nuala appeared, setting envelopes down in front of Rhysand. "In her room. Under her bed in a locked chest. Along with every communication you had tried to send to y/n, my lord."

Feyre gasped, turning her back to Elain and leaning further into Rhysand, holding Nyx tightly between them. She remembered those first few weeks. The sleepless nights, the pain, the emotional down pour. She would not have survived without Rhysand. Without Nesta and Mor. Without Cassian and you and Azriel. Her sister, the one who had held her as darkness swallowed her mind after her son's birth, had allowed you to endure this alone.

Azriel's hands shook, reaching for that stack. He separated out the letters. 10 for him. 2 for Rhysand and Feyre. 2 for Mor. 2 for Amren. 4 for Cassian and Nesta.

Helion stood. "I will let you all process this. Call for me when you are ready to do negotiations. The sooner you all leave, the better for her."

Rhysand's eyes shot up. "You won't let us explain to her-"

"Does it change the fact that he took Elain to their marriage bed? Does it change that he signed the annulment papers." Silence filled the room. "I believe that's why she left. Correct?" Rhys grit his teeth nodding. "Then all this changes is me, someone she trusts and feels safe with right now, informing her of what happened and allowing her to decide if she wants to reach out again from that point." He made a pointed look at Elain. "Which would not matter since I cannot see you removing the parasite from your court."

Helion walked into your room to Lucien and Nox laying skin to skin, a blanket over them as Tamlin held you, long fingers running through your dark hair. "And?" His son said.

"Your mate hid the letters regarding her pregnancy." Lucien whistled. "She's a snake hiding behind beautiful scales."

Azriel had tracked down your room with his shadows easily. The inner circle had been excused for the negotiations and allowed to explore the city. Cassian had flown Elain home, Mor and Amren winnowing Nesta behind them. Cassian wanted Elain out of his house, and Azriel could not have been more grateful to his brother for having his back.

He entered the room slowly and quietly. You were placing the babe in a crib on the balcony. It was shaded from the sun, shielded to remain the perfect temperature, and yet gave him access to fresh air, to the breeze.

You turned, eyes wide the second you saw Azriel. He moved to you so quickly that you could hardly process it. One second, your feet were on the ground, and the next, arms held you tight against him. Azriel was breathing deeply, memorizing your scent all over again.

He set you down, keeping you close to his chest, and sent a prayer to the Mother. "Elain hid all the letters," he began slowly. "She kept them all in her room. I didn't know. Had I known about you, about him, I would have crawled the very depths of hell to bring you back home to me."

You didn't answer. Tears fell as your body relaxed into him. It wasn't fair. The hold he had on you. The need you still felt in your bones when he touched your skin. You ached for Azriel so deeply it echoed into your bones. You longed for his smell. His voice.

Azriel took your silence as permission to continue. "I made a mistake. I will never be able to make up for it. Elain knew the second you left, I wanted to correct this. I was so blinded by her, by the feeling of being needed like that again, that I forgot how precious your independence was. How beautiful it is."

He couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of your head. "You are all I think about. Morning, noon, and night, it is always and will always be you. I am so sorry for what I have done. I am sorry for hurting you, for ruining us, for hurting the family we should be raising together. There are no words for my remorse."

"Why?" Your voice broke as you asked. "Why wasn't I enough?"

Azriel pulled back to look at you, hand raising to hold your chin and force eye contact. "Y/n, you are not at fault for my actions. You did nothing wrong. There is no partial blame, no what ifs. I fucked up. I made a mistake and it cost both of us everything. You are the victim of my actions, not the catalyst."

He saw you process those words and saw as they sunk in. "You were and are more than I will ever deserve. I want to spend my lifetime making up for it. Becoming a male you are proud of. I want to be the father I never got to have. I want to be the husband and mate you deserve. I know it will take time, and I do not expect your forgiveness today, but if you give me a chance, I will go to my grave worshipping the ground you two walk."

"Do you want to meet our son?" He broke at the question, feeling the bond opening back on your end. "This doesn't mean we're back together. It means we need to coparent for him while we work on things." He nodded rapidly, following you to the bassinet.

It felt like the world was coming full circle. You knew it would take time, that you two had many things to discuss first. This was a needed good start, though. Your pain eased slightly as you pulled back the curtains to the crib and whispered, "Azriel, this is Nox, your son."

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho

**I have received some pretty nasty anon asks, some unconstructive comments, and a good amount of general negativity regarding this fic. If you are unhappy with the ending and want to know why I made the choices I made as the author, click #discussingherewithoutyou. Unconstructive comments will be receiving the same copy and paste answer from here forward.

My time and content are free. If you do not like them, scroll.

General Taglist:

@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium

Azriel Taglist:

@elle4404

#acotar #acotar x reader #send asks #send anons #azriel acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x yn #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #discussingherewithoutyou

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hey, I dont know if you are currently acepting asks but... Please can you write something with Clockwork/Alfred? I'll give you a cookie?

I really love how you write and i cant find fics with this ship

Danny gets a cryptic message from Clockwork the night that he, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are supposed to go on a three-week College tour road trip.

A trip that they were going to use to decide where the three graduating students planned on going to college. Jazz was coming along to ease their parents' worry, mainly as a voice of reason. She had taken time off of work and classes just to make this happen.

It had taken months to plan.

So cryptic messages put a damper on the mood. Granted, all notifications from Clockwork were cryptic, but that didn't make this any less stressful.

He had just sat by his bed, leaning his back onto his lower bed frame and mattress, when he noticed the glowing sticker note on the carpeted floor.

"What does it say?" Sam sighs, closing her suitcase. She was kneeling a few feet away from him, double-checking their luggage. "A warning about the trip? Insight of an upcoming trial? Oh, let me guess, one of us is pregnant?."

"It's me, isn't it?" Tuck asks from where he's lying on Danny's bed. He places a hand under his chin with a sigh. "I've noticed a glow in my reflection lately. Danny, you're the Father."

"Shut it, Tuck." Danny laughs, turning the glowing sticky note over. "It just has an address, a date, and a time. Nothing else. I think he wants us to go there when the day comes."

Jazz walks in carrying a tray. She insisted they all take some bedtime tea to help them get enough rest for the drive. She recently started making her own blends after much research and experimenting. Danny loves it and always begs for a jar of her tea whenever he visits her. "What's going on?"

"We have to add a stop to the road plan," Sam sighs. She takes the black mug covered in white laughing sculls, nodding in gratitude to the redhead. "In one week, we have to go to Gotham."

"That's doable. We'll be going through Bludhaven by then. We would use the following two days to go sightseeing a few cities over, but we can sacrifice one of them to head to Gotham instead." Jazz hums, mentally going over their planned-out map that she likely memorized.

Danny groans, carefully resting the black mug with white constellations on the floor beside him. "I really wanted to see the hot springs resort, though."

"Member next time, Danny." Tuck pats his head while his own black mug- this one with little game controllers- is held carefully in his other hand. "After the baby is born, we'll go again."

"Why are you stuck on the whole baby thing?"

"Danny, that's no way to speak to the father of your children, especially while he's carrying," Sam chided from her corner. "The stress is bad for the baby."

"Please stop."

"But Danny," Jazz cuts in, sitting across from him. She crosses her legs underneath her, and her black mug with white books completes the set. "You should be supportive of Tucker in this very delicate time."

"I'm going to Go Ghost and never come back."

"I knew you be a deadbeat dad," Tucker tsks.

The four burst into impish laughter; the ease of the teasing joke and the calming tea rekindled the mood of excitement, even with Clockwork's glowing sticky note being shoved into their luggage to be revisited in a week.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure this is the place?" Danny asks again, leaning forward to where Tucker is driving.

Jaz looks around in fascination at the large houses and spacious yards they pass while Sam sleeps beside Danny in the backseat. She just finished her turn driving for seven hours and wanted to catch up on sleep.

Personally, Danny thinks she shouldn't volunteer for the first shift- they set out at four in the morning to keep to their road plan- but he knows no one else would do it if Sam didn't.

Neither Fenton works well before nine a.m., while Tucker needs help seeing in the dark, so he always gets the day shift.

Tucker's grip on the steering wheel tightens as he grits through his teeth. "For the sixth time, Danny, this is where the GPS said to go. I am literally staring at the icon move on the map as I drive."

"It's just....look at this place! It's rich people. I think they call the cops on us for driving through here." Danny defends, knowing his consent doubts driving his bed friend up a wall but unable to stop fretting.

"I don't think they call the cops....but I think we should move as quickly as possible." Jazz advised as the houses started to grow in both size and property amount. "We're almost there."

"Why would Clockwork want us to come here?" Tucker hissed as their old beat-up fan made a turn into a road that had the trees cut into arches above their heads. It was so obviously fancy that the three got highly uncomfortable. Even Sam's house wasn't so drenched in wealth, and this was just the front entrance.

"Maybe he wants us to investigate a haunted mansion." Danny offers, "Since we're in the area and all."

Danny leans back in his seat. He glances over at Sam; upon noticing the blanket she was using had slid down, he reaches over to tuck her in.

It's just as he sits back that his enhanced sight catches the faintest outline of a man in the trees, crouched down on a branch and watching them. Danny's heart spams, but he has no time to react further as the van moves on and the man's figure disappears in the floral.

"Holy shit!" Danny swears loudly, causing Tucker to jump and tilt the van.

"Dude!" Tucker hisses, "Don't do that! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, sorry." Danny places a hand over his heart, trying to calm the rapid beating. "I think I just saw a demon. Pretty sure that's what Clockwork wanted us to investigate."

"A demon?" Jazz whimpers, eyes flickering all over the trees with unease. "Are you sure it was a demon?"

"It looked liked like a one," Danny responds. "I highly doubt some guy will just go around dressed like a bat for fun."

" Great. Just great. A demon, that's going to be so much fun to deal with," Tucker complains, pressing on the gas more. They don't call him out as the feeling of being watched becomes suffocating.

The sooner they're out of the open, the better.

The end of the driveway opens up to a grand manor that would have made any noble Lord green with envy. Tucker drives around the giant fountain, pulling up to the park in front of the stairway of the main entry.

He squints out the front window as he loops before gasping. "Is that Clockwork?"

The Fenton Siblings each press their noses to the glass of their windows when they come to a complete stop. Both gasped at the exact same time and in the same volume at the man who was casually waiting for them at the door.

It's obviously Clockwork, but he's not in the form they are used to. Not the flouting child, not the sticking middle-aged man, or the aged old entity. No, the form Clockwork uses is a man in his early fifties, with the grace of a sliver fox and, oh, not a ghost.

"Hello, children," Clockwork says, walking down the stairs to meet them. The three are staring at him with slack jaws, half out of their vehicle but lingering in their doors just in case.

Sam snores.

"I'm ever so glad you have come." Clockwork continues, his green eyes flickering with mirth. A smile pulls at his lips, causing laughing lines to appear around his eyes, and it complements his warm bridge skin. He is not blue. "Not a moment too late. Punctual as ever, Jasmine."

"I- ugh, thank you, sir." Jazz shutters before getting her wits about her. "Why did you call us?"

"I will be delaying your trip for the next week." Clockwork lifts up a hand as if to stop any complaints this announcement may cause, which isn't really necessary, seeing as none of them can find the strength to speak. "I will, of course, make it possible to make up the time lost. I just need you four to act as my children for the next week."

"Why?" Tucker's voice is barely above a whisper.

"I can only keep this form for seven days, as I am not a halfa, but in that time, I hope to woo a man. He is a family man through and through, so if I can show him that I am more than capable of caring for a large family, it will help me in the long run." Clockwork then shrugs. "Plus, I need an anchor, and what better than four virgins?"

"Hey!" Danny shouts offended.

Clockwork raises a brow. "Am I wrong, Daniel?"

"No, but you didn't have to expose me like that," Danny grumbles.

"Who are you trying to woo?" Jazz asks, trying to steer the conversation back on track.

Clockwork's cheeks gain a reddish hue, and the three eyes practically pop out of their socket. They never knew the time god could be so...human. It's jarring. "Alfred Pennyworth. The butler of Wayne Manor, four houses down from our manor."

"A butler?" Tucker repeats slowly, "You, the god of time and overseer of all that is, has been, and will be, want to seduce a butler?"

"Yes. He is the love of my core," Clockwork nods determinedly.

Well, who can argue with that?

"Alright." Danny agrees. "So what's our cover story?"

"Yes, my four children- all adopted- and I have recently decided to go learn about our family roots and visit our ancestral home. Only to remodel and check out the family records, we will be out by the end of the week to our next grand adventure. We are old money but one that faded from importance due to lack of contact with the rest of high society. To remedy this, I will be taking you to high-class events." Clockwork sighs dreamily. "We were invited by the Waynes to a gala tomorrow night as a welcome-back party. There, I will see Alfred."

"Alright. And the demon?"

"Demon?"

"A man in the driveway that looked like a bat." Danny helpfully says, even though his voice wavers slightly.

"Oh, you mean Bruce. Yes, that's Alfred's son. Don't worry; he can not cross our driveway. I put a spell that causes humans to forget why they were coming here if not invited by us. Also, he is not a demon. He is a human who dresses like a bat to fight crime. Bruce's children dress like birds to help him."

There is silence that sounds louder than it should as they all take in this information. Clockwork smiles at him, mischievous and graceful in equal parts as they try to make sense of the weird kid Alfred the Butler has.

"I'm going to need a lot of stress-reducing teas for this week." Jazz sighs.

"We can go buy some for you tonight," Clockwork promises, pulling out a black card and grinning with all his teeth. "We're old money now, darling."

"oh my god."

Master Post Link

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Woo thy Butler my Lord #Old Timers #Fake family #Clockwork is human and here to simp #Bruce was checking out the new neighbors. He's suspicious of them #Team Phantom just wanted to check out colleges

[psuedosugu]

I LOVED Vox's daughter head cannons. I felt so sad when she doesn't see alastor anymore. maybe alastor gives her an magical radio that is like a walkie talkie where they can talk to eachother without vox knowing

ep 5 has my brain juices flowinggg (ik that alastor most likely js said that he was like charlies dad js to piss lucifer off but part of me wants to believe 🙏🏾🙏🏾)

part one here

——— ☆ • ♧ • ♤ • ♧ • ☆ ———

☽༓☾ || you’re obviously bummed that your dad cut you off from the person who’s pretty much been your comfort person for the past few months.

☽༓☾ || vox sees this as him protecting you from danger and he won’t hear you out when you try to explain how alastor really isn’t as bad as he says he is.

☽༓☾ || you end up sneaking out again one day, since your dad is still busy as hell. you’d have to be quicker this time, though, hes been paying more attention to you since the incident happened.

☽༓☾ || you were smarter this time, making sure that you didn’t bring any electronics with you, and you didn’t go out the front door, instead opting to go out a first story window so you’d be harder to track.

☽༓☾ || you practically jumped into alastors arms when you saw him again! (which he surprisingly allowed.) you had missed him so much, and there was so much you needed to tell him.

☽༓☾ || you told him everything, how your dad had blown up on you and how he had grounded you for like eternity.

☽༓☾ || alastor really wasn’t surprised, that defined sounded like vox. he was glad you had come to visit him though, he had grown to miss having you around!

“-so yeah, he like blew up on me and grounded me, probably until im like 25.”

“sounds typical of my dear friend.”

☽༓☾ || you could practically taste the sarcasm in his voice.

“eh. ill have to go back soon though. he’ll notice im gone….i dont wanna go though. sometimes i wish you were my dad instead.

☽༓☾ || you frown, rolling your eyes.

“well, i think i have just the solution for that.”

☽༓☾ || he suddenly poofs 2 mini radios into existence. you blink at him, confused.

☽༓☾ || he says that they’re walkie talkies, and that you can talk through one and he’ll answer. you smile and hug him for the second time. (which he still allows!)

☽༓☾ || you’re glad that you can talk to him now without having to sneak out and without your dad spying on you.

☽༓☾ || alastor is just glad to talk to you more in general, he’s starting to see you like a daughter of some sorts!

——— ☆ • ♧ • ♤ • ♧ • ☆ ———

‘hells best dad’ but instead of lucifer its vox starts playing violently in the background ☠️

i do requests!

check out my masterlist!

#one of my less good posts tbh 😭 #hope u still like tho #might rewrite #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #platonic vox x reader #platonic hazbin hotel x reader #platonic alastor x reader #x reader #vox x reader

[wondersinwaynemanor]

thinking how Dick always finds ways to hang out with his brothers. but reality is that, they have grown with different schedules and locations and responsibilities. his brothers have partners now. Jason is a dad for goodness sake.

Dick finds himself often emotional. he is a man nearing his 30's, but he still often misses his younger brothers.

so Dick tries.

Dick, calls Jason, who is in Star City: Hey, Little Wing. You free this Saturday? There's a new action movie. Want to check it out?

Jason, pouts at the other end of the phone: Sorry, Dickie. I have to attend to Lian's reading playdate at her friend's house. Roy refuses to go.

Dick, feels a pang on his chest: Oh, of course, yeah. I'm glad you're there to teach Roy how to read.

Jason, laughs which makes Dick smile: Hey, lay off! But maybe we can watch another movie next month? My schedule is kinda booked this month-

Dick, doesn't mean to cut his brother off: No problem, Jay. Next time, yeah? Maybe me and Wally can visit soon.

Jason: You both should. Lian is asking for her favorite uncles. Please don't tell Tim and Conner I told you that.

Dick, laughs: I'll see you soon, Little Wing. Miss you. Say "hi" to Lian for me. And "fuck you" to Roy for me.

Jason, chuckles which makes Dick smile again: You got it, Goldie. See ya!

Dick keeps trying.

Dick knocks on the door of Tim's room and cherishes this moment, because Tim is barely at the Manor. Well, none of them mostly are at the Manor for years now. He enters when Tim says "come in".

Dick: Timmy!! Want to try this new coffee-

he closes his mouth when he sees Tim in front of the mirror, wearing a suit and fixing a tie.

Dick, frowns: Oh, you leaving already?

Tim bites his lip as he concentrates to fixing the tie. Dick chuckles and approaches Tim to do it for him.

Tim: Yes, going to Metropolis for a business meeting. Then off to New York after, booked that hotel for me and Kon.

Tim gestures to the packed bag on the floor.

Dick, feels a pang on his chest: Oh, right right. I almost forgot.

he backs up and smiles at his brother.

Dick: Well, looks like you're ready to go. You look handsome, Baby Bird.

Tim, smiles: Thank you, Dick.

he gives Dick a quick hug and Dick wishes it was longer.

Tim: See you next week, Dick!

Dick: Have fun! See you, Timmy!

before Tim exists his room, he turns around.

Tim: You were saying something a while ago? Sorry, I didn't catch it.

Dick: It's nothing.

Tim: You better tell me when I come back. Bye, Dick!

Dick, says to the empty room: Bye...

and Dick keeps trying.

Dick is barely with Damian during patrols anymore, so he's glad his brother called for back up, since Bruce was in another planet with the Justice League. Damian has grown so much, he's been using new suits, because he has outgrown a few of the older ones.

Nightwing: Hey, Robin. Want to catch some Big Belly burgers after we freshen up?

Robin: I think I'll have to pass, Nightwing. Superboy is picking me up in a few.

Nightwing, feels a pang on his chest: Right, right. He better not drop you.

Robin, snorts, but he smiles so Nightwing smiles also: He would never.

before Nightwing leaves Robin on the rooftop, he leans down to kiss the top of his head. it hits him that very long ago, he acted as his father figure when Batman was gone.

Nightwing: Take care, okay? Love you.

Nightwing thought he would not get a response, but as soon as he turns around to head for home, he hears Robin.

Robin: Love you, Akhi.

Dick has come to accept that his brothers are grown up now. that maybe he wasn't part of their lives anymore, he could honestly cry-

so when the door opens of their house, he expects to see Wally, bringing flowers and food like usual, but he sees his brothers instead. Jason has a box on his hand, which happens to be a copy of the movie they were supposed to watch. Tim has a bag of coffee from the new cafe place. Damian has a bag from Big Belly Burger. and if there tears on his eyes when they hang out that night, at least he's got his brothers to cuddle with on the couch.

#dick grayson i love you #big brother dick grayson is the best #big brother dick grayson #batfamily prompt #batfamily #batbros #batkids #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #dc universe #dc #the mentioned ships i am cryingggg #dad jason todd #that should be a tag??? #i wonder how big belly burger tastes like #batfam #dc comics

[cumikering]

Neighbour Ghost x reader 2

2.1k | fluff You had many dinners with Simon (part 1) (part 3)

Simon Riley white-knuckled the vegetable peeler against the poor carrot in his other hand like it owed him money.

He’d knocked on your door that morning with the full intention of being helpful, but it was painfully difficult to hide the fact that he was beyond clueless as he stood there at the counter. He even dressed for the occasion, wearing a loose black shirt to not dirty his sleeves. It was his first time seeing you in something other than a hoodie, and he caught your momentary gaze on his tattooed arm.

Sure, he kept telling himself each time he came up with an excuse to have you over was for his mum’s company. It made him happy to see the smile on her face as she chatted with you, your laughter filling his otherwise quiet flat. But was it really for her company now, when it was just the two of you as he embarrassed himself?

Regretting what he thought was a brilliant idea, he glanced at you, absolutely horrified of being a hold up and ruining lunch.

You didn’t even look up from the pot you were stirring. “You know, I really don’t like doing the dishes. Would you like to help with that instead?”

A small sigh of relief escaped him as he dropped everything on the cutting board, thankful you spared the sliver of dignity he had left. He did most of the cleaning while he watched you. You said you weren’t the best cook, but your movements were serene, easy. You didn’t look like you were going to chop your fingers off, and to him, that made you far above decent.

Evidently, Melanie complimented the meal generously while Simon simply asked for a third helping. He beat you to the dishes after that, not allowing you to lift a finger after all the cooking you did.

At your door, you turned to him. “In case I don’t see you again before you ship out-“

“You will. I leave Thursday morning.”

“Oh.”

“Can I have your number?”

You handed him your phone and Simon Riley called himself from it.

“I’ll see you around, Simon.” You smiled at him.

Again, he only left when you’d closed your door. When he entered his flat, his mum looked up from wiping down the dining table.

She sighed softly. “How long am staying, Si? It’s been over two weeks now.”

“As long as you want, mum. I’d rather you here.” He walked over to her. “At least I know you’ll be safe.”

“What’s going to happen to your dad?”

“You wouldn’t let me bash his face in, and he’s not my dad. Not sure he ever was,” he said gravely. “I can’t tell you what to do, but I just need to know you’re safe. That’s all I’m asking.”

She turned away, the discomfort evident in her eyes. Simon knew the look to well.

“You need to leave him, mum,” he said under his breath.

“I think I’m going to stay a few more weeks, two months tops,” she finally said. “Until things settle. I’ll look for a job meanwhile.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“I want to feel useful, Si,” she reassured. “You’ve been too kind to me.”

“Never enough.”

When's the latest you can have dinner before it's not called dinner anymore? Simon texted you Monday afternoon.

Is this the premise to a joke?

He tilted his head. On second thought, it did sound like one of his dad jokes.

No, was a genuine question actually.

9, maybe. Why?

I'll be home before 7:30. Would it be okay to wait for me for dinner until then?

Who's cooking?

Takeout chef down the street. You pick who the lucky bloke is

You smiled as he stood at your door with takeout in hand. The way you looked at him made him question his clean shaven look that day. Did he look too much like an adolescent with no scruff?

Simon didn’t like making conversation, let alone with someone as sunny as you, but he was surprised to find that he wanted to put himself in a social situation with you. Still, he wasn’t used to it. He tried saying more, he really did, but the most he managed to tell was that he was an apprentice butcher back in Manchester before he enlisted, and that he was a currently a lieutenant in the SAS.

After dinner, you sat facing each other on your small couch sipping on tea, knees almost touching each other’s.

At this point, he noticed you didn’t look away as much as you did the previous instances. Either you’d got used to his unyielding stare or his attempt to appear less scary succeeded. You didn’t ask further about his job, and he hoped it was because you thought it was mostly confidential, not because you were afraid of him. That was alright though, you were far more interesting than his work anyway. He enjoyed watching the way you lit up talking about your interests.

Perhaps it was patronising how he wondered why you could be so much like sunshine in this bleak world, walking around like no one was going to break your heart. He found your generosity reckless, even foolish. Guilt pricked his heart for having these unsavoury thoughts, yet he was still utterly and shamelessly fascinated by your smile.

Despite him not wanting to leave, he excused himself for the night before it was remotely late.

“The day at the base starts early, yeah?”

He gave you a small smile. “Same time tomorrow?”

You nodded.

“Good night, luv.”

On his way to the lift, he knocked on the door of his own flat. His mum answered, clutching her cardigan close to her chest.

“Oh, Simon. I wasn’t expecting you.” She stepped aside. “Are you staying the night? I’ll get the bed-”

“No, ’m just dropping by.” He closed the door behind him.

“Did you need something? Have you had dinner yet?”

“I did, yeah.”

A knowing smile tugged on her lips. “Was it with someone I know?”

“Wanted to say good night and make sure everything’s alright.” A blush might have crept up his neck as he stepped in for a one-armed hug.

But the next night, Simon dropped by again before going back to base.

“Why are you here every day now?” Melanie looked at her son with a teasing smile. “I’m not complaining, but I thought you said you were too busy to come home.”

“Can I not want to see my own mum?”

“Sure, Si.” She gave him a playful side eye. “Let me see what ingredient I’m missing, in case you want to run to the shops.”

He groaned. “I’m shipping out Thursday. Wanted to take you somewhere nice for dinner tomorrow. Get yourself an outfit. Use my card.”

“How nice!” She beamed. “Is she coming with?”

He looked away. “I didn’t invite her.”

“Would you like to?” When he gave her an unsure look, she reassured, “I don’t mind at all. She’s sweet and I’m happy you’re meeting new people.”

Of course it didn’t take any convincing for him to invite you to his favourite steakhouse in the city. In fact, he very much looked forward to having another excuse to see you, especially dressed up. Not like you didn’t look nice, but thinking of taking you out made him giddy. He suddenly didn’t dread the med evals, trainings and briefings he usually detested before each deployment.

When he arrived at base, your reply waited.

Thank you so much for the invite. The place sounds lovely, but I don’t want to intrude. Have a nice evening you both!

His shoulders sagged. Can I at least see you after dinner?

Mrs. Riley beamed when Simon picked her up with a rose in hand. He didn’t remember ever seeing her so dressed up, and he was glad to have given her the opportunity to. She gushed over the delicious dinner, the wine and how polite the waiters were that it brought a bittersweet smile to his lips.

He could tell how much the evening meant to her, and it broke his heart that no one had cared for her that much in a very long time. He held her hand as they walked back to his flat.

“You be safe, Simon. I’ll be waiting for you,” she hugged him tight at the door as her voice wavered, her eyes brimming with tears.

He gave her a squeeze, feeling the emotions rubbing off on him. “Will do, mum. I’ll be home as soon as I can,” he said into her hair.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek before he headed to your flat.

Simon didn’t recall feeling this heavy upon shipping out in recent memory, but as you answered the door in your loose shirt and shorts, his arms ached to wrap around you. Instead, he shoved his hands in his trousers pockets.

“Would you like to come in?”

“I can’t,” he said. Because if I did, I wouldn’t want to leave.

You looked away, seemingly a little embarrassed by his rejection.

“May I ask why you didn’t want to come earlier?”

You stepped out into the corridor, closing the door behind you. “I feel your mum would appreciate it more if it’s just the two of you, that’s all.”

“Maybe next time with you then?” he asked hopefully. “Just us?”

You nodded and a smile blossomed on his lips in return. You both lingered a few more seconds in silence.

“I’m wishing you and your unit the very best on your mission. Please take care out there.” You cast your gaze down.

He caught the wobble in your voice and the sincerity was the push he needed. You barely had time to react to him stepping in for a hug. His arms encircled your frame loosely, but tightened as soon as yours wrapped around his waist. He curled over you, inhaling your scent as your breath tickled his neck.

The lack of distance only highlighted how much he towered over you. He was sure you could feel his racing heart under his turtleneck, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to hold you.

“Let me know when you’re back,” you said when he pulled away.

“’course.”

Simon very much looked forward to your texts whenever he had time to himself. While he asked you about your days, he unfortunately couldn’t say much about his. Instead, he sent you photos of the sunrise, or the shit cup of tea he was having. In return, you sent photos of the Hereford sunset and your meals. He said the kind of food he ate would ruin your appetite.

You told him his mum got a job at that bakery you loved – you knew the owner. On some days if her schedule allowed, you could walk back home with her. Simon thanked you for keeping her company, knowing how much she must have appreciated it.

The two weeks seemed to roll by a litter faster than usual. You were the first to know as soon as he was scheduled to fly back. He said he’d probably get home a late, but would love to see you if you had the time.

At his first knock, rapid footsteps came from behind your door which you swung open with a grin on your face. “You’re back!”

“May I come in?”

You made way for him, and when the door closed behind you, he stepped in, arms lifted a little. With a chuckle, you closed the gap, squeezing him tight.

“Are you available for dinner tomorrow?”

You pulled away. “No, going out with friends.”

“Oh,” he muttered. “Sunday then?”

“That’ll do.” You smiled, walking backwards to the kitchen. “Come, I’ll make us a cuppa. Co-worker gave me some oolong tea.”

His eyes softened. “Sorry, can’t stay long, luv. I’m going back to base.”

“But tomorrow is Saturday. I thought you stay home on weekends.”

“Yeah, but it’s too late now. I don’t want to bother my mum.”

You gestured at the couch with a chuckle. “I’d offer you this, but it’s way too small for you.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to bother his mum - he wouldn’t. He could get in and out the place without a sound, nor was your couch a problem. He could sleep on the floor and it would still be better than some of the places he’d had the pleasure to sleep in.

He wasn’t ready yet, especially not when he just got back, with his mind still reeling 1000 miles an hour.

“That’s okay. I can head back.”

Your brow rose at him. He understood how silly it was now, driving all the way to you at this hour to not even stay 15 minutes. It was embarrassing, if he was honest, how much he was transfixed on seeing you that he didn’t even think of the logistics of the visit.

“Sorry, I’m not a late sleeper. I’m dead tired and always sleep like a log the first night back.” His eyes flicked to your lips as he swallowed. “I’ll pick you up Sunday?”

You smiled. “Where are we going?”

“The same place. I think you’re going to like it.”

@tiredmetalenthusiast @shadofireshinobi @keegansshark @two-gh0sts @rowanyaboats @mangoguy @fruitymoonbeams-blog @ghostslittlegf @luvecarson @sparrowgalaxy @insert-weird-name @nocturnalreader106

#call of duty #cod #cod fanfic #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #call of duty fluff #cod fluff #call of duty x you #cod x you #simon riley #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley fluff #ghost fluff

[thebearer]

when teddys like two or three months you and carl are in a patch of him not being around and he comes home one day and she gives him no reaction or loves, and someone she sees frequently she is gummy smiling at them

oh this would wreck him. like the freezer scene has nothing on what this would do to him.

so the bear is doing really well. like really, really well, but they've got some competition. this new restaurant is moving closer and a little too close. they already tried to take marcus and syd, and carmen is stressed, falling back into his old ways. he feels like in a way he got himself here bc he had a baby and got lazy in a way- distracted, is more like it. as awful as that sounds, that's how he felt.

teddy's about six months and carmen's been at work non-stop. comes home late, if you go to the restaurant he barely has time for you, he's tightly wound and hateful- loses his temper quickly. richie tried to talk to him, tina, too; and he told them the same thing- to mind their own business.

you miss carmen, you do. but when you tell him that, he tells you he's here now- now being when he's practically collapsed in bed beside you.

it's the roughest patch the two of you had ever been through, and carmen doesn't even seem to realize it. until one day. the other restaurant got moved to the other side of the city- something about the building being mysteriously shut down for shoddy wiring (uncle jimmy had nothing to do with it!!)

carmen's feeling good. feeling like he can breathe again.

comes home early and you're surprised. he's happy and excited, but when he goes to teddy, she cries.

that tiny baby cry for you, just a little whine of sorts that she does when a stranger tries to hold her.

a stranger.

"teddy," carmen coos, trying again. "it's daddy, teddy bear."

teddy just turns into your shirt, whimpering and clinging to you. you watch carmen's heart break- the fall of his face, eyes widening into horrified realization.

"i think she's cranky, carm. it's her nap time-"

"she doesn't even know who i am." carmen's tone is hard- hurt.

"no, she's just a little sleepy, carmen. look, teddy, look," you coo, bouncing her lightly to coax her out of your chest. "look, baby, it's daddy."

teddy seemed to recognize the word, eyes lighting but she didn't relate carmen to that. blinking and looking around like she was looking for her dad. carmen's face crumbled, running his hands over his face to keep himself from sobbing in front of you.

you didn't know what to do, how to make it better. "i'm going to smoke." carmen rasped, voice tight with emotion, snatching his cigarettes off the table and going outside.

he called the only person he knew to. richie. breaking down, raw and emotional, begging him for any sort of advice on how to make it better.

"cousin, she's a baby. you got time to fix this. she won't even remember this-"

"-she doesn't even remember me." carmen sniffed hard, knee bouncing as his chest bubbled over with that familiar painful panic. "my own kid doesn't know who the fuck i am. what the fuck richie? what's fuckin' wrong with me. all i ever do is fuck everything up-"

"-hey, cousin, i'm stoppin' you right there, ok? let me be honest with you. this ain't about you, ok?" richie huffed. it was mean and cutting but it was true. "this isn't the time to be feelin' all sorry for yourself and shit, ok? you left your wife alone with that baby and you've been a real jagoff- like i said."

carmen hated it, hated that he was right, hated how he felt.

richie continued. "instead of sittin' in there like an asshole, why don't you go inside, take a few fuckin' days off, and get your shit together."

"cosuin, i-i can't do that-"

"- holy fuck, carmen. ok, let's try it again, alright? go inside. quit being a self loathing jagoff piece of shit, and take a few days off to be with your wife and kid, ok? i got the place for a few days." richie snapped.

"richie, we're booked for the next-"

"-look, do you trust me or not?" richie snapped.

"yeah, yeah, i trust you, c'mon." carmen muttered.

"then i got it, alright? if i need you, i'll call you, but for right now- your family needs you. if this was tiff or eva, i wouldn't even think twice about it. go be with your family, and fix this shit, you dumbass." richie huffed.

carmen took richie's advice. finding you in the bedroom, folding teddy's teeny tiny baby clothes. it made carmen sob. heavy heaving cries and mumbled apologies while he clung to you.

the next four days, carmen wouldn't leave the house. wouldn't leave your side or teddy's. he'd gotten her hesitantly out of the crib, eyes red rimmed when he cooed at her and changed her. she didn't cry this time, even giving him a tiny gummy smile that had him emotional all over again.

#thebearer #carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #dad!carmen berzatto #dorothea “teddy” berzatto #dilf!carmen berzatto #richie jerimovich #bearblahs #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto #the bear #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto angst

[lighteyed]

driving miss mayfield

steve harrington x fem mayfield!reader

[5.8k] steve gives you driving lessons, max gives you heat, you give yourself no time to daydream.

disclaimer- no mention of blood relation to max, no physical descriptors of reader, they are sisters in any way you want them to be.

     “What do you mean you don’t know how to drive?” The disbelief in his words is almost as emphatic as the annoyance in yours, but he seems to be more disbelieving than you are annoyed at him, who could ever really be annoyed at him, so you let Steve gape at you and blink rapidly instead of telling him to mind his business.

   You slurp down the rest of your soda from the general store in his passenger seat, shrugging, fighting to push down that urge to snap. Mayfield girls, you, Max, your mother when she wasn’t bogged down by a soul-sucking man-leech draining her lifeforce from her right before your eyes, had a less than lovely temper most of the time, and you tried very  hard to keep it contained, especially around people who didn’t deserve it. It just felt like a ridiculous question. “I mean, why do you think I’m stuck drivin’ with Billy half the time? You think I get in that car willingly? You think Max gets in that car willingly?”  You shake your head. “No way. If I had a license I would’ve been, like, halfway back to California the second you people started dragging me and Max into your science fiction monster crap.”

    “As if she woulda let you,” Steve scoffs with a similar head shake, a lock of his hair falling nicely into place in the middle of his forehead. He swipes at it quickly. He has this ridiculous urge to never be anything less than perfect in front of you, you, who is perfect without effort, leading him to put even more effort into holding up this front for himself. “Besides, you’d miss this pretty face, right?” He points to himself, smiles, and waits for you to laugh. You do. It makes his heart constrict.

   “Think you’d miss my pretty face, actually,” you snort, shoving your now empty shake in the cupholder.

    “Yeah, I would,” he teases, just a little, just enough to make further attempts at breaking all that ice you’ve got protecting you, and he swears, he sees it crack the slightest amount, even though you don’t answer. You smile and stare down at your hands in your lap, twisting a mood ring around your finger and making sure you don’t look at him. He’ll take what he can get. “Well, anyhow,” he says, dramatically blowing air out of his mouth, the subject change swift and, in his opinion, a flawless execution, “I can’t in good conscience let you keep driving with him.”

    “You already drive me and Max and all her friends everywhere, you don’t have to do anything else.” You don’t like being indebted to anyone. Even if it’s Steve, who insists on picking you up for school in the mornings and dropping you off in the afternoons and, if he’s free, taking you anywhere else you need to go. And he usually is free, because you, and the group of middle schoolers (almost high schoolers, to be fair) he’s adopted since he protected them from Billy and the Demodogs and the whole Mind Flayer debacle (you’re still fuzzy on the details, honestly) a few months ago,  are his only friends nowadays, so it’s not like his schedule is packed and there’s no room to fit you in there. There’s more than enough room. If there wasn’t, he’d make it so. You both knew that.

    “I love driving you,” he insists. “But the thing is, my dad’s cutting me off.”

    “He’s what?”

    “Like, you know, he’s gonna stop paying for my shit. I’m not goin’ to college and he thinks I’m a useless sack of nothing-“

   “You are not a useless sack of nothing-“

   “You tell that to him-“

   “Take me there right now and I will-“

    “Alright, alright, easy.” As much as he’d love to see you go toe to toe with his dad, and you’d be able to, he’s sure, he doesn’t want to talk about it any further than the basic facts of the situation. He’s not going to college therefore his dad has no reason to pay for anything he does anymore. His car insurance is his responsibility now, anything else he needs is up to him to to get, food, clothes, gas, if he has to go to the hospital he’s sure his dad would shove the medical bills onto him, too. He was like that, unfortunately for Steve. But it was one thing he could relate to you on. You had him slightly beat, though. You had two dads to complain about, both terrible in their own ways. Sam Mayfield: emotionally distant, didn’t bother to call, didn’t ask you to visit, too busy when you lived with him to spend any time with you anyway. And then, of course, there was Neil Hargrove: controlling, abusive, cold Neil Hargrove. How he’d charmed your mother into marrying him was a mystery to you and to Max, but you supposed, for as much as you loved her on principle because she was your mother and you pitied her and looked up to her all the same, she was easily charmed by men. It killed you a little more every time it happened, but this was the first time she’d actually brought him into your family, integrating them together in a way she thought would be seamless, but you and Max despised your stepbrother and he despised you both right back. “Point is, I’m gonna have to get a job, probably at that new mall they’re opening up-“

   “Oh the horror-“ you feign a hand over your forehead and slump back in your seat- “Rich pretty boy Steve Harrington doing labor, at the fancy new mall, with those soft delicate hands of yours, whatever will you do-“

   “Shut it,”  he warns, but there’s a grin on his face anyway. “You just admitted I’m pretty, by the way.” He continues before you can dispute his claims. “I’m not gonna be around as much. So you need your license. Unless you wanna be stuck with Billy yelling in your ear all day long.” He pauses, thinking. “Which might make me kill him. So, actually, unless you want me to murder him in cold blood-”

   “Please? I’m begging at this point,” you joke back.

   “Let me get a word in would you?” He laughs and it sounds like music to you. You keep it to yourself. “I want you to be okay on your own. I don’t want him, y’know, hurting you guys, okay? So you need your license.” His words and his eyes go lovely and soft, all rounded ages, nothing jagged about them, just pure, undulated care and affection.

    It makes you soften, too. You spend a lot of time looking after Max, it hits you hard when someone takes the time to look after you, too. “I don’t know, Steve, I wouldn’t be getting a car right after or anything, my job doesn’t pay enough, and we can just take the bus or something. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

   ‘I’m teaching you to drive, and you can take my car wherever you need to go. I’ll come pick you up, we’ll go on over to wherever I’m working, drop me off, and then you go wherever you need to go and come back in time to pick me up.” He says it so easily, as if it’s the most obvious answer to your problems in the world. He doesn’t even fathom how much it means to you.

   “You’d let me drive this?” You brace both your hands on the dashboard, your turn to stare at him in incredulity. His car is nice. It’s beautiful, really, and you don’t know much about cars. It’s classic and shiny and new. And expensive. Expensive being the operative word. Billy’s car is nice, too, and it’s about the only thing he takes care of other than his physique, which he thinks about obsessively, but you don’t think it’s anywhere as nice as Steve’s. Not in your opinion, anyway. The fact that Steve is nicer in personality (and looks, quite frankly) might make you biased, though. “I can’t afford to replace anything if I scratch it or crash it or if it explodes.”

   “You won’t scratch, crash, or explode it, you’re gonna be learning from the best.”

   “And who would that be?”

   “Me, obviously. Welcome to your first driving lesson, I’ll be your instructor, Mr. Harrington, thank you for joining us Miss Mayfield.” He tips an imaginary hat toward you. You’re not sure what driving instructors wear hats but you let him have his fantasy anyway.

   “Right now?” You can barely process what’s happening before he’s popping open his door, lanky legs sliding right out. He raps the hood of the car with his knuckles, ducking his head inside to look at you.

   “Yes, right now, Mayfield, no time like the present.” He comes around to the side you’re on and opens door for you, ushering you out. He holds your hand to help you out of the car, entirely unnecessary but a smooth move nonetheless, and your hands fit together in a way that makes him want to keep them clasped like that forever. He ushers you into the driver’s seat with a quickness that almost gives you whiplash.

    Your hands prop up on the wheel, uneasy. Your palms start to sweat. “I don’t like this,” you tell him. You take your hands off and wipe them on your jeans. They immediately dampen again. You’re afraid of leaving sweat prints all over his wheel and leaving a car-shaped hole in the side of the now abandoned Benny’s Burgers, the parking lot almost empty, save for the car that you are now responsible for. It’s eight o’clock on a school and work night, so naturally no one else was around and Hawkins may as well have been asleep.

   “You haven’t even attempted to drive yet.”

   “My hands keep slipping off the wheel,” you grasp for his hand and press yours against it, raising your eyebrows. “Do you feel the sweat?”

   “Jesus, yeah.” He squeezes your hand with encouragement anyway. “You don’t have to be scared. I’m a much nicer driving teacher than anyone you could hire at the school. You’re in good hands. Great hands. The best ones. Perfect, amazing hands.”

    Your eyes flick down to Steve’s hands. You have to agree. “I don’t even have a permit. You could get in trouble.”

    “By who? Chief Hopper? Officer Callahan?” He nearly cackles at the notion. “You’ll be fine, don’t sweat it.”

    “Bad choice of words.”

    “Enough stalling, let’s get to the lesson.” He claps his hands together. His face retains a serious, focused quality to it. It’s very handsome (he’s always handsome and it kills you a little because you don’t have time to daydream). “Alright, hands here, and here,” he taps the wheel to show you the correct position. He thinks he might die if you connect your hands again. “That’s called the 10 and 2 position.”

    “Why’s it called that?”

    “I don’t know, it just is, doesn’t matter, that’s where they go so you have the best control for making turns and steering.” You do as he says. “Okay, so now, you have to relax.”

    “Girls love hearing that, Steve,” you grind your teeth.

    But your rigidity and discomfort is obvious, especially to you, and you know it can’t be natural to drive all scrunched up and tense like this. “You’ll be fine. You can’t be all stiff if you ever want to get comfortable doing this.”

    “But I’m not comfortable.”

    “Hence why we’re doing this, yeah?’

   “I thought we were doing this so me and Billy don’t strangle each other.”

    “That too. Can’t have my only friend dead. Then I’ll be stuck with all the kids by myself.”

   “Can’t leave Max alone, either,” you say, more to yourself than to him. You think about her most of all. While you spend all this time with Steve, you worry over her all the time. You constantly check in to make sure she doesn’t feel left out. You fret about her being left alone with Billy. She occupies almost all of your thoughts.

   “Never,” he agrees, even if you weren’t talking to him. You give him a thankful smile. His heart almost stops but he clears his throat to snap himself out of it. “Okay, now, let’s turn the key, turn the car back on.”

  “Turning the key,” you nod, licking your lips. You turn the key in the ignition until the engine rumbles to life. The car vibrates in response. You hate it.

   “Clutch pedal down with your left foot,” he says, pointing. You do as he says. “Move this,” he pats the gear stick, “into first gear, right here, left then up.” He watches you carefully, nodding back. “Good, okay, press down on the acceleration with your right foot now, gently,” he adds. He can tell by the furrow in your brow that you hate it. “You’re doing good,” he praises.

  “Yeah, yeah, continue.”

  “Now you gotta lift the clutch until you feel it vibrating, okay, then release the handbrake, keep slowly moving off the clutch until you’re moving with just the acceleration, okay?” He finds the deeply serious expression you’re wearing kind of endearing. “If it stalls we’re gonna start again, but don’t worry about it.”

But you don’t stall. The car moves as it should, with you controlling it, in the empty parking lot by the neighborhood park. “Great, great, almost perfect” he tells you, “we can probably go faster if you wanna try that-“

  “No, we cannot,” you say tightly, your shoulders hunched.

  The laugh he lets out makes your spine tingle. “You have to relax your face, I promise you’ll drive better if you’re not all… scrunched up,” he motions to your shoulder area.

  You try. You roll them back as you keep focusing on the road, trying not to furrow your brows so much. You’ll get a permanent forehead wrinkle at this rate.

   “See, there we go,” Steve reassures. Your let out a little huff, but your face goes placid, still. “Beautiful.” He’s not sure if he means to say it. If he should. He says it anyway.

  You look sideways at him as you drive through the parking lot. You’re driving slow. Slower than slow. You’re practically inching along. “You can’t possibly be flirting with me right now.” It’s not that you don’t like it. You do. It hurts how much you do. If he wasn’t freshly single and you didn’t feel so obligated to focus most of your time on taking care of Max, you’d flirt back. You weren’t new to it or anything. You knew your way around a guy. Even a gorgeous one like Steve. But he was only a few months over Nancy and you saw the grimaces he did when she and Jonathan crossed his path. You weren’t sure if he was over her. Or if Max was comfortable and secure enough here to be a little more independent.

  “I am not,” he scoffs. The blush creeping up his neck onto his cheeks betrays him. You shift your eyes to look at him again but he points, “eyes on the road, by the way.”

  “You were flirting, you just can’t help yourself, can you? King Steve, right?” You snicker, recalling the nickname from when you’d first met him, the one that had been rescinded just as fast. It’s easy to hide the fact that you liked the way he said beautiful, like a caress, like a kiss, behind your banter and snark. Maybe it’s one thing you and Billy could have in common. Everything’s easier when you hide it behind an attitude.

  “I wouldn’t say that stating a fact is… flirting,” he shrugs, flippant. At least, he hopes it appears flippant. You don’t give yourself much time to ponder this.

  “It is when you say it in that voice,” you retort.

  “Huh? What voice?” He balks at that. He does not put on a voice.

  “Like, low and sultry,” you flick some hair away from your eyes. It had been the way he said it, after all.  

     “You think my voice is low and sultry?” His ears practically perk up like a puppy’s. You don’t answer. It’s actually all the answer he needs. “I think you’re the one flirting with me now, Mayfield, not the other way around.”

  You scoff. You are scoffing and he is laughing away. “In your dreams, Harrington.”

  “Every night.” The joke registers with that one but it still makes your stomach clench. Every butterfly in the western hemisphere makes its way into your gut and builds a home there, an uncontrollable influx of new neighbors, fluttering madly, demanding to be seen and known and understood. You understood them, you just didn’t want to. “See, now that, that was flirting,” he says, satisfied at your quiet. “And you sound like your stepbrother when you say my last name like that, by the way. Excellent Billy impression.”

   You’re doing slow, lazy laps around the parking lot at this point, your nerves still present but for entirely different reasons now. “I do not sound like Billy.” You grimace. “And you probably shouldn’t be flirting with anyone when you just got out of a relationship, like, not even four months ago. I don’t think you’re ready to be flirting again.” You, again, are saying it more to yourself than to him. A subtle reminder of the predicament you’re in.  

  “Hence why I’m not flirting,” he informs you.

  “Uh huh,” you say, unconvinced.

 “But if I was-“

“Which you’re not-“

“Which I am not,” he agrees, “how would you feel? Just for, y’know, future reference.” He juts his lip out, wondering.

  “Let’s circle back to that when you’re not still reeling from the Nancy incident.”  

  “Well,” he shifts around in his seat. He wouldn’t say he’s still reeling. Still hurt, sure. But hurt sticks around longer than heartbreak does. You can be hurt by something someone did and not still be heartbroken over them. He wouldn’t say he’s still heart broken. Looking at you, his heart feels very much intact. Nothing broken here, no, definitely not. “That’s why it’s for a hypothetical future reference.”

  “Right, of course,” you slow the car to a stop. “Then I wouldn’t be opposed. Hypothetically.”

  “You wouldn’t?”  

  “I wouldn’t.” But, you remember, suddenly, that it’s not just you that you look out for. “Once Max is all settled, of course.”

   “Settled?”

   “Like, y’know, feeling better about being here.”

    “She’s got a massive group of friends she sees all the time.”

   “I know, but-“

   “You worry about her, I get it,” he places a hand on your knee, very light, not asking for anything. “Who worries about you? You should- you should be happy, too, is that crazy to say?”

   You place your hand over his.  “I’m happy. I’m happy, I promise. I don’t need you to worry about me, I’m okay.”

   “You should do more things for yourself.”

   “Like getting my license,” you gesture to the car.

   “Like getting your license, yeah.” Like going on a date with me. Like letting me show you how serious I am about you.

   “I’m okay how I am.”

   “I’m making it my job to look out for you, y’know.”

   You smile again. Very soft, almost embarrassed. You hated the attention being on you but you had to get used to it, being around him. “Yeah, Steve, I know.”

   He’s diligent in his effort to give you driving lessons. He takes you driving almost every day after school, Max in the backseat if she’s not with her friends, both of them encouraging and kind even when you hit the curb more often than not. You were a good driver, for all intents and purposes, even though your palms still sweat every time you got behind the wheel. It was a gradual comfort process. They were less sweaty than the first time, and that had to count for something. You even get comfortable enough to drive through Main Street, which nearly sends you into a panic and leads to a shouting match between the two of you while you furiously honk your horn at the other people of Hawkins on the road, Steve slumped in his seat to avoid eye contact with everyone, but after that, you’re a pro.

    A few weeks of this pass when he says to you, out of the blue as you drive aimlessly, “So, I set up your road test for you.”

   You’re still not used to this whole looking out for you thing he’s got going on. You almost stop the car short. “Did you really?”

    “I think you’re ready. You’re great, you’ll pass easily.”

    “You think?” You’re typically confident, strong-willed, but sometimes he sees those flickers of insecurity crop up and he attempts to smother that right then and there.

   “For sure,” he nods. “They’ll be begging you to be on the road.”

   “You flatter me.”

   “You deserve it.” His eyes, his smile, trained on you, always, is devastating. Maybe you do. Maybe you do.

    At your dinner table that night, you, Max, your mom, Neil, and Billy, Max does what she should never do in front of Neil or Billy, and that’s open her mouth.

   Billy had been going on about how he was sick of being the chauffeur, even though he really wasn’t anymore, and that if he was going to get a job this summer before college like Neil wanted you two would have to learn to get around on your own, because he can’t be responsible for two people if he also had to be responsible for a job.

   “She’s getting her driver’s license tomorrow,” she jerks her head toward you, a proud, beautiful smile on her face, and you want to drag her by the hair into your shared bedroom to ask why in the world she’d ever tell that to everyone and also give her the biggest hug for the evident pride she takes in the fact that you’re independent and doing things on your own and she looks up to you so, so much. You bite your lip as Neil’s fork scrapes noisily across his plate. “And Steve’s been driving us around anyway, so I don’t know what you’re going on about-“

   You interrupt her with a hard, socked foot coming down on her own. Your eyes go wide and your head tilts in her direction,  a please oh please stop talking expression.

    “Who has been driving you, exactly?” Neil asks, eyebrows raised.

   “My friend from school, it’s no big deal,” you answer, staring down at your plate and then back up at him. His cold gaze is fixated on you.

   “What happened to the agreement we had?” Neil turned his sneer to Billy, rendered speechless by Max’s unexpectedly bold statement. Billy then glares at you, and you really don’t want an argument, so you cut in.

  “It’s only sometimes, like once a week, and he doesn’t drive us to school, he drives us home. Rarely. Rare occasions. I promise.” A lie, flowing easily from your lips, and because Neil thinks you’re a smart, good girl, and his son is always up to no good and lying, he relaxes, and so does Billy, though you’ll get no thanks from him, not now, not ever.

  “Well, who’s been teaching you to drive where you feel ready to take your test?” Neil stretches across the table to get another helping of the meal your mother prepared from the middle of the table.

   “Steve, when we’re both free.” Every day.

   And because Billy can’t let you have anything, because he needs to instantly make you regret ever doing anything nice for him, he says, “I’m not a big fan of this Steve guy.”

   “Hm, and why’s that?” Neil continues eating.

   “It’s a petty high school rivalry,” you interrupt, narrowing your eyes at him.

   “He’s got a reputation with girls, you know. I wouldn’t want to see something bad happen to you.” Billy’s stupid grin eats shit. The feigned care makes your skin crawl.

   “What sort of reputation is that? You shouldn’t be hanging out with that sort of person,” Neil frowns. Again, with that feigned care. It’s not about genuine worry for you. It’s about control. Dominance. You won’t fall for it.

  “It’s all rumors. He had a serious girlfriend for a year. And we’re not together, anyway. He’s my friend.”

   “Guys all want the same thing,” Billy says back.

  “How would you know?” You push, nearly slamming your hands on the table.

   “I’m friends with the basketball team, there’s locker room talk, you get the picture.” He continues smiling in that mocking way of his that makes you want to jump across the dining room and put your fork through his eye.

   “You don’t actually know anything, though, do you, considering you’re not friends with him?”

   “I think I know enough to know that this isn’t the type of person my sister should be associating with-“

   That gets you going most of all, which is giving him exactly what he wants, and you can’t help it. “We are not siblings-“ your chair drags across the floor with a loud screech as you remove yourself from the table, just as Neil is telling you both to settle down.

  “C’mon, honey, sit back down, you can hang out with whoever you want, I’m sure this boy is very nice,” Susan coaxes you gently but you don’t even look at her, too caught up with the fact that it’s all her fault you’re here in this place with these people, these strangers, that you hate so deeply it makes your bones ache.

  “’M done eating, going to my room,” and you don’t care how annoyed it makes Neil that you’ve gotten up before he’s finished eating, which has become practice in this house now, you can’t even celebrate the fact that you’re achieving a milestone, getting your license, God damn it, without it turning into the Billy Hargrove one man show. He makes everything, everything, hurt.

   Max comes in a little while later, her footsteps light and hesitant on the floor. She crawls into your bed even though hers is across the room and she hasn’t slept beside you since your first night here.

   “Are you mad at me?” She asks. Her eyes are big and blue, worried.

   “’Course not.” You smooth her hair back. You’re not mad at her, truly. It’s not her fault Billy ruins everything. “I know you were just trying to get back at him for his complaining. S’not your fault, lovie.”

   “I should’ve known it would turn into that,” she frowns, uneasy. “It always turns into that.”

   “You don’t have to know anything. You should be allowed to say whatever you want to our parents, that’s what they’re there for. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.” You boop her nose with the tip of your finger. You’ve been sulking in your room because of him, not her.

  “Can I ask you something?” You’re face to face with each other, both your heads lying on your pile of pillows, hair fanned out behind you. Her expression is earnest and endearing.

  “Always.”

 “I thought you and Steve were dating already.”

 You hesitate. “That’s not a question.”

  “Okay,” she rolls her eyes. There’s no malice behind it. “Why aren’t you dating?”

  You crinkle your nose, dismissive. “Because, I’m- I’m, like, busy, with stuff, and he’s not over Mike’s sister and I just, I don’t wanna get mixed up with some silly boy.”

   She admires your dismissive attitude toward boys, and it might be why she breaks up with Lucas every other week in exasperation with his boyish faults. She just thinks it’s crazy that you have this attitude when a guy like Steve is the one following you around with shiny looks and dreamy smiles. She’s sure that you’d never deny Steve, who, when she observed you both from the backseat, did everything in his power to make you feel comfortable, safe, secure, was kind to her while also maintaining a brotherly banter, something she thought she was getting when Billy had been introduced to her, was funny, and generous. He was always letting you drive his car and buying you both food and making sure you had a ride somewhere if you needed it. And she drove her and her friends around everywhere even if you weren’t there, too. Steve seemed perfect.

   He was easy on the eyes, too, but it brought a hot flush to Max’s cheeks to admit that, so she never would. 

   “He’s not a silly boy, he’s Steve.”

   “A boy is just a boy no matter who he is, you know that.”

   “Yeah, but,” she huffs, indignant, “he really likes you. I bet he’d go out with you if you asked.”

   “I’m not asking him out, and he doesn’t like me like that. He’s a good friend. And I told you, I’m too busy for him.”

   “Busy with what?” She cries, exasperated. “Busy driving with Steve, busy doing homework with Steve, busy getting dinner with Steve, busy-“

   She’s running out of fingers to write her list on. You grab her hand to stop the count. “I get your point.”

   “You can’t be too busy for someone if you already spend so much time with them, is all I’m saying.” She has a point. You scratch your arm absentmindedly. “What’s the real reason?”

   “What real reason? You’re saying that’s not the real reason?”

  “Definitely not the real reason.”

   “Says who?”

   “Says your best friend.”

   You sigh at her, a loving sound. “Oh, yeah, her.” You run a hand through her hair again. The softness of it soothes you. “I don’t wanna leave you alone.”

    She pokes your cheek. “I’m not alone. I have my friends.”

   “Didn’t you hear that we’re best friends? I can’t leave you in the dust.” It’s more playful than you really feel. You don’t want to burden her by unburdening yourself, relaying all your fears about what would happen if you spent more time with Steve, things like her resenting you, something awful happening between her and Billy, her getting hurt, injured, killed, your brain delved into all sorts of dark, terrible places, and these spiraling thoughts led to one conclusion: you would never, ever, let your focus waver from her. “I take care of you, okay? I don’t have the time to think about anything else. Besides, he might not even be over Nance, remember?”

   “He is. He is over her. I promise,” she insists, placing her hands on your arms. “He looks at you like he’s in love, I’ve seen it!”

   “You don’t know what you’re seeing, babe-“

  “I do.” She shoves herself off your bed, your hand, where it was twined in her hair, falling back onto the covers. You sit up, confused, as she stomps off to her own bed.

  “Are you mad at me right now?” You ask.

   “I’d be happy if you were happy.”

    “Max, stop, I am happy-“

   “Not happy enough. He’s nice. You should just go out with him. Stupid to worry about me all the time.” She flicks off her lamp light and turns away from you toward her wall. You sigh. You think. Your stomach twists itself in a knot you don’t want to think about. Eventually, when her stubbornness about it overrides yours, you turn back toward your own wall and turn out your own light. Your eyes strain from trying not to cry, so eventually, you cave in to that, too.

   Your hands shake at your road test the next day. For a multitude of reasons. You look at Steve differently, with your head tilted toward him like the head of a flower tilts toward the sun, waiting and wanting. You’re running over all the ways it could go wrong. You resign yourself to never doing a thing about it.

    He notices your quiet, so unlike yourself, and attributes it to your nerves about the test. He rubs your shoulders, an attempt to hype you up. “You got this, okay? You’re gonna kill it. You’re gonna be the second best driver in Hawkins.”

   “Lemme guess, you’re the first?” It’s the first smile you’ve cracked all day and he takes it as the victory it is.

   “Well it’s certainly not Billy,” he rolls his eyes. “Seriously, how you feelin’?” He spins you around and the gaze he bores into you is too intense to bear. You look away fervently.

   “Fine, ‘m fine, nervous, but fine, should be good, my driving instructor was excellent.” He beams with pride at that, a blinding flash.

   “World renowned, I heard,” he brags.

   “Let’s see if I pass first.”

   “You will,” he says. Confident, assured. It makes you feel assured in turn.  

   And you do. You pass. By a hair, truth be told, but you pass. It thrills you, clutching the paper declaring your triumph in your fist, walking outside to greet Steve who leans against the hood of his car in his devastating way of his, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he taps his foot in wait. When he sees you come out, he brightens, straightening himself out.

   “What’s the verdict?” He asks.

   You wave the paper around. “I passed!” You can’t fake it for a second, your joy at this little bit of freedom absolutely inescapable. He lets out a loud, thrilled whoop for you, and his joy brings you even more of it. He picks you up off the ground and spins you in a circle, and when you’re back on the sidewalk, steady, he envelopes you in a deep, encompassing hug.

  When he hugs, his whole body goes into it, if that makes any sense. He throws his all into it. There’s no hesitancy, no timidity, he’s not ashamed of it in the slightest. He hugs you, hard. He’s that proud. And he likes holding you. You pull away first and he’s not surprised.

  “Proud of you,” he squeezes you arm again.

   “Couldn’t have done it without, Steve, really. You- you’re the best, y’know that?”

   He decides to push his luck. “Good enough to go on a date with?” He can see already that you’ll say no. That you want to say yes but you’re going to say no. He doesn’t care. He’ll wait until you’re sick of him.

  “You don’t wanna go out with me,” you squeeze his arm back.

  “You’re real silly, you know that?” His voice is warm and awfully fond.

  You can’t bring yourself to let him all the way in just yet. You walk with him back to the car and agree with him. Yes, you’re real silly, indeed.

#if u have requests for more mayfield reader content. pls hit me up. i am in fact begging. #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x mayfield!reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #STEVE CROWD WAKE THE FUCK UP #mayfieldreaderverse

[foundmywei]

Buddie Fanfic Recs 1

Here are my favorite buddie fics! This post includes 40 of them, go to Part 2 for more~

10k words or under

the wood marked for your fire by hattalove

(10,264 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Chim. Weird question?” Chimney’s chair creaks. Buck cranes his head over the back of the couch and watches him straighten up, pop his back, close the folder. “You only ever ask me weird questions,” he says, and then crosses the loft to sit in one of the armchairs. He levels Buck with a look that’s way too knowing for the amount of words they’ve exchanged. “What’s up?” He takes a breath. “What does it feel like to be a dad?” in which buck is used to wanting things he's not allowed to have; it's just that he never thought being a father would be one of them.

but, baby, watching you blush by calvingseason

(10,100 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Eddie opens his mouth. Closes it. Finally, he settles on, “You told your parents you’re married? To a man?” Chimney and Hen both glance at him with twin looks that clearly mean he’s on his own with telling the rest of the story. Which—they had no problem teasing and joking about it three seconds ago, but now that Buck has to really get to the heart of the issue, they’re leaving it to him? Go fucking figure. “I told my parents,” Buck says, rubbing at the bridge of his nose with closed eyes, “that I’m married to you.” or, buck and eddie go to hershey for buck's high school reunion. the only problem? everyone thinks that they're married.

take my hand (take my everything) by cnomad

(10,307 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

When Buck has another near death experience, he decides the smartest thing to do is update his will. It's not a big deal, really—he just wants to take care of the people who matter most to him: Eddie and Chris. But to Eddie? To Eddie that's a pretty huge deal.

for all the perfect things i doubt by extasiswings

(5,199 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Evan Buckley is really good in bed. Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t.

it was you, love by hammersmiths

(6,673 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Eddie doesn’t realise the pattern until Karen says, “You’re collecting us like Pokémon.” “What, Wilsons?” Eddie says. He’s mostly distracted by Christopher on the couch, who is with Denny showing Miles, Hen and Karen’s newest foster, how to play Animal Crossing on his Switch. Miles is already developing the same starry-eyed look in his eyes Christopher himself gets around Buck. “You certainly don’t make it hard.” “Not Wilsons, dummy,” Karen says. “Lesbians.” Which is—not what Eddie was expecting her to say. “Uh. What?” or, Eddie befriends May and Linda at dispatch. Then realises some stuff.

you remind me of home (oh, baby, merry christmas) by catchingpapermoons

(7,247 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Buck, just come here,” Eddie says, and Buck feels his heart start to pound. “Do you need me to come get you?” “Oh.” He takes another deep breath. “You’re sure?” Eddie laughs. “Like Christopher won’t be over the moon that you’re here.” “For a month, Eddie.” “So?” -- or, Buck has to live with Eddie for a month, which would be fine if he wasn't in love with the guy.

one of the few things by thatnerdemryn

(7,222 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“I want someone who’s going to take care of him, love him just as I would without babying him or making him feel like he can’t do things, you know? I want someone who is going to fight for him, not against him, who would literally go through hell for him because he deserves it--” Eddie cut himself off, but Hen didn’t need him to continue. “You want it to be Buck.” Maybe she should’ve been more surprised or she should’ve asked the question instead of saying it so surely and causing the bit of panic that erupted in Eddie’s eyes, but it was obvious in everything Eddie was expressing. Or five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

someday soon i'll make you mine by lecornergirl

(2,710 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

"I didn't raise him to be this dramatic, you know," Eddie mutters as they listen to Christopher making his way down the hallway to make his entrance. "He gets this from you."  Eddie doesn't seem to think there's anything unusual about what he's just said, but something warm blooms in Buck's chest. He gets this from you. His artificial, arbitrary line in the sand between parent and not is blurring once again. 

you can start a family who will always show you love by fleetinghearts

(8,185 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Yeah, yeah, he’s—he’s my kid, he’s my kid,” Buck tells her, tripping over his words in the effort to get this whole process to hurry the fuck up so he can see Chris. There’s the sound of something hitting the floor from behind him, followed by what might be plastic bouncing off the shiny hospital tiles. The person at the desk looks up in surprise, over Buck’s shoulder, and he turns to look too. Eddie’s standing there, Styrofoam cup rolling at his feet, coffee splattered all down the bottom of his faded blue jeans. The plastic lid of the cup skitters over the tile before coming to a stop a few feet away. He looks like someone punched him in the gut, absolutely shellshocked, something Buck can’t quite read behind the startled expression on his face. or, buck's looking for something, and the diazes let him know he already has it

can't see anyone but you by allyasavedtheday

(4,967 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Besides,” he says, clearing his throat. “Once I’m on the date, there’s no beating me. I know how to treat a date right.” Buck tilts his head to the side, his cocky smirk re-emerging as he appraises Eddie. “Wanna put your money where your mouth is, cowboy?” “What?” “Let’s go on a date,” Buck says like it’s obvious. Eddie splutters through some attempt at a response but Buck carries on speaking before he can come up with something to say. “You show me your best date moves and I’ll show you my best date moves and whoever’s better doesn’t have to pay for dinner.” * Post 6x17, Buck and Eddie decide to go on a practice date. It goes exactly how you think it would.

something to hold onto by foxwatson

(5,185 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

There’s about a palm’s width of distance between Eddie’s knee and Buck’s thigh, where they’re both sitting on Eddie’s couch. It would barely take any movement at all for Eddie to just nudge his leg over a little further, press their knees together and let his rest there. or the one where frank tells eddie he should work on letting himself want things, and eddie starts by cuddling with buck

accidents happen ( but i will love you on purpose) by withmeornotatall

(4,425 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 171)

"Buck..." Eddie says lowly. "Did you already put a load of laundry in?" "I had nothing to do whilst Chris was doing his math homework," he explains himself, turning back to Eddie. "And my workout stuff smelt so bad, Eddie. I almost cried." "Buck, let me do the groceries then—" "No, Eddie, its fine." Buck shakes his head resolutely. "You know I love shopping, especially with Chris. And beside, you still have to do the light load and then fold it all up. Even split of chores, I promise." Buck wonders if Hen and Chim ever split their errands on their days off, before Karen and Maddie. (OR: buck kisses eddie, goes grocery shopping with christopher, then realises he's in love with eddie, in that order)

I-10 by sunryder

(6,997 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Instead of taking the 1-40 through Nashville back in 2012, Buck took the I-10 along the southern border. But once you were in West Texas, all roads led to El Paso. There was no getting out of the state without passing through it. Evan considered inevitability a pretty damn good analogy for Eddie Diaz. (Where Buck literally takes a different road and meets Eddie a few years early.)

baby, you were my picket fence by spaceprincessem

(6,179 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Buck is all in. He’s one-hundred percent, give em everything he’s got, will do anything Maddie asks— “You can’t tell anyone,” Maddie suddenly becomes so serious Buck feels like he has whiplash. He blinks a few times, brow furrowed, “Well, yeah I know that.” “No, Buck,” Maddie leans forward covering his hand with her own, “I mean it. No one else is allowed to know about this.” Buck opens his mouth, but Maddie reads him like the traitorous sister that she is and cuts him off by saying, “That includes Eddie.” “Maddie,” Buck whines, and he’s very well aware at how pathetic it sounds, “that’s not fair! It’s — he’s — it’s Eddie!” [or Maddie wants to propose to Chimney. She gets Buck involved. Buck can't tell anyone. He somehow proposes to Eddie instead.]

all i know since yesterday by sibylsleaves

(6,082 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Buck knows what he’s doing might be constituted as ‘a bit creepy,’ but he can’t really help it. He has a book in his lap, so it’s not like he’s just staring at Eddie, but—ok, so he hasn’t actually read a page in over twenty minutes, and in the meantime he has watched his best friend chop like six different kinds of vegetables to go in Bobby’s ragu. “How’s it going, Buck?” Hen asks, flinging herself into the adjacent arm chair. “Fine,” Buck says, barely looking at her. “But something’s up with Eddie.” or, Eddie flirts. Buck worries.

Break Glass in Case of Emergency by Beforeastorm

(2,894 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Eddie’s mind wandered to the red folder, tucked high up in the back of his closet. He recalled back to a conversation he had with Buck, almost a year ago at this point:

“It’s an insurance policy; a break glass in case of emergency. A trump card.” “One I really hope we’ll never have to use.” “But if we have to, we’ll be really glad we did this.” When hospital policy doesn't allow Chris, as an unrelated minor, to visit a comatose post-lightning strike Buck in the ICU, Eddie has a solution. Unfortunately, that involves sharing some pretty personal information in a waiting room filled with the 118.

like a heartbeat racing by elisela

(3,600 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Buck can do this. He can totally do this, it’s just a favor for Maddie, and what’s he good at if not helping out his sister? Sure, doing a cake tasting when you’re neither the bride nor the groom is a little … unorthodox … but it’s cake. He loves cake, he specifically ate fewer carbs all week so he could pig out to his heart’s content on cake, delicious, fluffy cake, and he can do this. “I can’t do this,” he blurts out the night before, pacing the apartment with Eddie on speakerphone. “Maddie said she told them I would be coming so at least I don’t have to pretend to be Chim, but how pathetic is it to show up to a cake tasting alone?”

you were the wilderness I crossed into by rowan_wood

(9,218 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Truth.” “How many times have you fallen in love?” The table was quiet, but Eddie didn’t take long to think it over. “Three times.” “With who?” Lucy asked. “Nope, not part of the question,” he smiled at Lucy, easy as anything. Buck tried to count quickly in his head, the math not adding up. “My turn, right?” Eddie asked the group. “Chim. Truth or dare.” or: the 118 has a 24 hour shift, and zero calls. The firefam spends it playing games, and everyone takes the opportunity to tell Buck just how much they love him.

11k - 40k words

The Family We Choose by maybeamystery

(20,468 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Hey, bud!” says the scowling man, suddenly all smiles. The smile changes his face into something beautiful; Kelly realizes that this kid has not one but two hot dads. As he’s swept into the arms of his other dad and they start off in the direction of the nearest ice cream shop, Kelly says to the curly-haired man, “You two have an adorable son.” [10 times Buck is mistaken for Christopher's dad and 2 times it's not a mistake. Contains major spoilers for 5x14]

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things

(11,163 words | Not Rated | Chapters: 1/1)

Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that. But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.” —you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting— So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

Buy Back the Secrets by allyasavedtheday

(18,808 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 3/3)

He casts his gaze to the right, to the voice he’d heard a minute ago and the hand still on his shoulder. And, well. Okay. So Buck may have just been unconscious for an indeterminable length of time but he doesn’t think he’s exaggerating when he says the guy leaning over his bedside is one of the most attractive people he’s seen in a long time. Especially when his face splits into a smile that rivals the brightness of the hospital lights that almost just fucking blinded Buck a second ago. “Welcome back, hotshot,” the guy says and it sounds fond – familiar – and Buck honestly has no idea who this guy is. His brown hair is dishevelled on top of his head and his eyes look tired but then Buck notices the LAFD t-shirt so- alright. Someone from the firehouse, maybe? But he’s pretty sure he’d remember a face like that. * After getting hurt on a call, Buck wakes up thinking it's 2018. AKA Buck can't remember who Eddie is but he's pretty sure everyone's lying when they say they're "just friends."

you're my whole house by hammersmiths

(11,958 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

Eddie shrugs. “Christopher mentioned to Daniel that Buck and I are partners. I mean, sure, it’s a little weird that she invited him over as well, but—” “Partners,” Hen interrupts, “like work partners?” Eddie and Buck glance at each other. “Uh, yeah?” Eddie says. “What other type of partner?” Hen stares at them for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. “You dumbasses. She thinks you’re together.”

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies

(27,258 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.” Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him. “That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him. - or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

The Definition of Love and All Things Ineffable by ElvenSorceress

(29,351 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 3/3)

Maddie asks him, like she’s been waiting to ask him, “Does Christopher call you ‘Uncle Buck’?” It’s… it sounds so casual. Nonchalant. Maybe even reasonable? And like there’s something she’s trying to figure out, but why would Chris ever call Buck his uncle? He’s Jee-Yun’s uncle. “No,” Buck answers. “Why?” “He called me Aunt Maddie.” She tips her head curiously, brows knit together. “You’re far closer to him than I am. I thought if I’m his aunt, you’d have to be his uncle. Why wouldn’t you be Uncle Buck?” There are pieces of chicken mushed into Jee’s fingers and carrots sticking to the bib draped over her front and what might be peas caught in her hair. And Buck doesn’t really have an answer. It’s just. It’s wrong. He’s not Chris’ Uncle Buck. Maybe he should be? Maybe he’s supposed to be? Or maybe Chris doesn’t call him that directly because he’s always been BFF Buck or His Buck. He shrugs and uneasiness settles in his stomach. What more could he ever be to Chris but an uncle? ~~~ In which Buck processes his breakup, learns his place in his family, has a huge crisis of sexuality, and finds the truth about love beating in his own heart.

Didn't think you meant it by EtoileGarden

(33,519 words | Explicit | Chapters: 12/12)

“Y’know,” he said. Shrugged again. “That last call? I kind of thought I’d have that by now.” “What,” Eddie raised his eyebrows at him. “A roof collapsing on you?” Buck grunted, elbowed Eddie. Lightly, because he did appreciate the humour in Eddie’s voice. “No,” he said. “Just - married.”

drink the river dry by Rianne

(32,215 words | Explicit | Chapters: 1/1)

It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem. Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.

Despite it all, Because of it all by kitkatpancakestack

(23,747 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

He puts the truck in park in front of Eddie’s childhood home. Christopher shifts in the back, already unbuckling his seatbelt. Eddie is frozen with his jaw set, eyes hard and unblinking as they bore holes through the windshield. Buck was here once before, after that relief trip to Texas, but he is under no illusions that this time will be similar. For one, he doesn’t have the buffer of other firefighters to hide behind. This isn’t a visit that will last a couple hours, and so the sugary, superficial niceties will eventually crumble when it’s mid-way through the week and he’s still hanging around. There is also the shadow of everything that has happened since the wildfires skulking behind them, waiting to be found out. But, this is Eddie and Christopher, needing him to have it together, so he paints on a smile and squeezes Eddie's knee and slides out of the truck. * Eddie's dad gets sick. Buck goes with him and Christopher to El Paso.

you light the spark in my bonfire heart by woodchoc_magnum

(22,669 words | Mature | Chapters: 2/2)

A post-5b fic, in which Buck slowly realises that he's been in love with Eddie this whole time.

some day i'll fall into you by allyasavedtheday

(13,467 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

I got you. I got you. I got you.

“You said that,” he says, clearing his throat around the emotion clogging his windpipe. “In the firetruck. I heard you.”

Buck leans back enough that they’re looking at each other. The hand he’d had on the back of Eddie’s head moves to the side of his neck, his thumb pressing lightly against the hinge of Eddie’s jaw.

Eddie swallows around the lump in his throat and meets his gaze. “I believed you then.”

Buck sighs like the breath has been punched out of him and leans forward to press their foreheads together. “Believe me now,” he murmurs and Eddie’s not sure if it’s a plea or a request but he finds himself nodding anyway.

“Okay.”

*

A look at how Eddie deals with his recovery post-4x14.

I Know a Place We Can Go by maybeamystery

(15,580 words | Explicit | Chapters: 1/1)

“Well, that was heartwarming,” Chimney says loudly. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s go save some lives. In WeHo. Where Buck goes to gay bars because he is apparently a bisexual now.” “I’ve always been a bisexual,” Buck sniffs. “You just didn’t notice.” “There are gay bars outside of WeHo,” Hen adds. “Just saying.” [5 times Buck and Eddie get hit on in West Hollywood and 1 time they definitely do not]

Tick Tick Boom by ChasetheWindTouchtheSky

(30,439 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 1/1)

“Did you know if you put a frog in water and slowly bring it to boiling, it won’t hop out?” Chris is chattering as Buck makes a quick dinner while Eddie argues with his gas company on the phone. He can hear the occasional swear word in Spanish as his voice raises. Eddie doesn’t like to raise his voice around Christopher – the very thought makes Buck want to kiss him full on the mouth – so he decided to take it to the living room while Chris sits with his homework in the kitchen and Buck cooks. “Hmm?” Buck asks, unable to fully pull himself out of Bobby’s baked mac and cheese recipe. It took him years, but he finally convinced the man to write it down. Bobby’s handwriting was juvenile at best on a good day, but this was nearly unreadable. Buck wonders if he did that on purpose. “Frogs?” “Yeah!” Chris states. “My teacher said that if you put a frog in a pot, you have to make sure it’s not immediately boiling. You put them in water and then slowly raise the temperature and they won’t realize what’s happening. Then once they realize, they have no place to go. They can’t jump out.” * S6 Spec: Buck decides he doesn’t need therapy, reverts to some bad habits, and explodes. Or, the Breakdown Fic.

40k+ words

To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

(44,248 words | Explicit | Chapters: 11/11)

After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak:

Marry Buck.

the mortifying ordeal of being known by Polish_Amber

(60,866 words | General Audiences | Chapters: 7/7

The thing was, the 118 was full of gossips. Eddie had been at the station less than a week before Hen and Chim wrangled details about his “hot young thing” from him (“Buck is only 4 years younger than me, he is not a ‘hot young thing’!” Eddie complained.) And Bobby was open about his worries for his son’s lack of direction and the secrets he appears to be keeping (“I just wish I could help Evan find the thing that gives him purpose,” Bobby lamented.) It just made it all the more ridiculous (and horrifying) when Eddie realizes he’s been dating his Captain’s son this whole time (“Defiling his baby,” Chimney cackled, because he clearly wanted Eddie murdered.) -- Or, the AU where miscommunication abounds as Eddie seeks advice about his new relationship, Bobby despairs over his adopted son's career prospects and his refusal to talk about it, and Evan Buckley-Nash juggles training at the fire academy, building a family with his new boyfriend, and trying to work out how to tell his overprotective dad that he's already chosen the life he wants, actually. It takes a goddamn tsunami, of all things, to get the story straight.

Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint) by extasiswings

(42,884 words | Explicit | Chapters: 9/9)

“Sounds like the problem is you think casual sex with a stranger or finding someone new to date are your only options.” Eddie’s brow furrows. “Aren’t they?” “I mean, there’s always…someone you already know. Who you’re already comfortable with.” “Because my pool of male friends who are single and who would be interested in having sex with me has so many options?” “Well, I don’t know about many, but you only need one,” Buck points out. “And who would that be?” “Me, of course.” [Or: Frank gives Eddie therapy homework, Eddie misunderstands the assignment, and Buck is just a really supportive friend...right?]

Don't Take My Sunshine Away by SevenSoulmates

(113,785 words | Mature | Chapters: 21/21)

Eddie is in a coma, and Buck blames himself. He should've been there to protect Eddie. The least he can do now is to be there for Christopher, even if Buck doesn't know if he has it in him to be a parent without Eddie. Buck makes Eddie a deal: he'll fight for Christopher in the real world, while Eddie fights to wake up. Eddie's come a long way since those bleak days in El Paso, listening to his parents comments about how he's not fit to be a father. How Christopher doesn't deserve to be dragged down by the likes of Eddie and Shannon. Eddie thought after moving to LA, he and Chris had escaped that. When he wakes up and finds Buck neck-deep in a legal battle with his parents for custody of Christopher, Eddie must face his own mistakes, and find the confidence to stand up for himself against his absolute worst nightmare.

i think i belong to you (hope you feel the same) by Ran

(41,111 words | Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 4/4)

Buck’s taking him to therapy, where he knows Eddie’s therapist’s name and Eddie’s entire history with him; Buck, who let himself into Eddie’s house with food from Eddie’s favorite coffee shop with coffee crafted perfectly for Eddie’s tastes; Buck, who apparently has a book on Eddie’s coffee table with so many dog-eared pages it’s like any interruption at Eddie’s house is worth putting it down. Buck, who touches him with a devotion as palpable as all the little pieces of himself scattered throughout Eddie's home. Eddie thinks he might have solved his own question, but he’s afraid to look at the answer too closely—because he’s fairly certain his best friend is in love with him, and Eddie can’t remember a single thing about him. Or, the one where Eddie wakes up from the shooting only to think he was hurt in a certain 7.1 earthquake years prior and learns to appreciate the life he's created for himself since then.

Overcome by Spicysauce

(53,697 words | Mature | Chapters: 10/10)

“I’m not leaving you, Buck.” Eddie says with a tired sigh, like he’s struggling with the weight of the world and Buck’s the one who put it there. “Just switching jobs, that’s all.” That’s all?, Buck wants to scream, because every relationship he has is tied to the job in some way, and first Maddie left, and then it was Chimney, and now it’s Eddie. But he doesn’t scream, because that would be a little bit too tragic, even for him, and nods instead. Bites his tongue. Pretends that he isn't falling apart where he's stood. *** Or, set post season 5A, where Buck is alone, and angry, and exhausted, but mostly terrified that everyone he loves is slowly slipping away from him.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Buck by sunryder

(50,287 words | Mature | Chapters: 13/13)

Red is dying and Buck is fucked up about it. Not just about losing a friend, but about ending up like Red: dying alone without the people who used to be his team. Buck doesn’t want to go out like that. It might take him a few panic attacks, a road trip, and a book recommendation, but Buck is going to tidy his life up.

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts

(54,477 words | Explicit | Chapters: 1/1)

“It’s just that—I died,” Buck continues, voice unsteady enough that Eddie wonders if this is the first time he’s acknowledged that out loud. “I died, and there’s so much more. There’s so much more I want to do, things I don’t even know I want to do yet, and I almost had the chance to have and live them taken away. I don’t want to die and regret missing out on everything else, Eddie.” “So let’s make a list,” Eddie says. “Let’s do them.” or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

you and me by woodchoc_magnum

(55,411 words | Mature | Chapters: 2/2)

An alternate ending to Season 6, where Buck realises that what he's been searching for has been right in front of him the whole time.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #9 1 1 #911 abc #911 fanfic #buck x eddie #buddie fic rec

[gaeasun]

Cut Lawquane was absolutely a Commando

Ok, crazy theory time.

I think Cut Lawquane was a Commando, or least a Commander. But going with Commando for now. But I don't think he was a rank and file clone trooper.

All of the clone troopers i think should be shown as exceptionally trained, but Cut Lawquane showed incredible skill, even though we saw him compared to Rex the entire episode. Evidences are below:

A) Rex is both a Captain and one of the oldest of the CT's, but the entire time Cut acts as his equal and perhaps even elder. He doesn't talk quite down to Rex, but it reminds me of how people act when they're just a grade apart. Not like they know everything and the other knows nothing, but there is a definite difference between them. Also he instinctively recognizes Rex as a Captain, but is not phased by that at all.

B) He disables Rex, the Captain Rex, with a farming tool in zero seconds flat, and does it without hurting him.

C) He recognizes Commando droids, which are typically only used in special assignments. And he also knows that it takes a headshot to pierce their armor. On Rishi it was Captain Rex who recognized them and said they were brand new. So for Cut to already know exactly what they are, especially when he's been out of the war for months, at least implies he could have been on high stakes missions before right in the beginning of the war. Which is also why I'm leaning Commando instead of Commander, because it's more Commandos who go on missions while Commanders are still often with general forces.

D) He has a highly developed sense of individuality and creative thinking, which was encouraged more in the special forces than general troopers.

E) Cut also says, specifically, "everyone I cared about, my team, was gone." Commandos are specifically trained to work in groups of four as a cohesive team. additionally, with these commando units being so tightly knit, the feelings of complete loss could have played a large role in Cut's desertion.

F) Cut and Rex play a game of dejarik, and while the winner is not shown, by the end they're both down to the last piece, which shows that Cut is around Rex's level when it comes to strategy. And Rex is so good at strategy that Marshall Commander Cody, who the commanding officer of around 36,000 men, considered Rex to be one of the best they had in that regard. Not to mention that Cut is impressed with Rex too.

G) Cut has 3 blaster type weapons that are probably the weapons he had on him when he deserted: an older rifle, a blaster carbine, and a DC-17. Now, it makes sense for a farmer to own a rifle, and the blaster carbine is a general GAR blaster. but the DC-17 is the same blaster pistol that Rex uses, that we have only seen used by ARC Troopers, Captains, and Commanders.

H) This is probably the most obvious one of all, but Cut is an incredibly good fighter. Even our beloved ARC troopers Fives and Echo struggle to take on a few. Cut takes on 20 and lives (granted the droids are not top form but its still impressive). He makes three headshots in a row with his rifle in less than three seconds, and the next three kill shots are all headshots as well. he also throws a wooden rafter-beam off him (that might be dad-strength tho) and hits a metal droid with a wooden chair hard enough to break both of them. he also punched one of them in the face hard enough the droids eyes flashed red (and then slightly regretted it, but it didn't look like he broke his hand either).

I) Cut hadn't been fighting for at least several months, since he deserted almost right after Geonosis. so as incredible as his skills are, he had probably been even better before, so just think about that for a moment.

Edit: i forgot to put this in because it wasnt in The Deserter, but by bad batch he already has gray streaks and a receding hairline. guys an old teenager for sure

So, Cut is a highly trained and skilled fighter in both hand to hand combat and blaster combat, he's at least as old as Rex and is not intimidated by his rank at all, he was in a specific team and felt like everything had no meaning after they all died, he has the weapons of an officer, had seen enough of commando droids to recognize them and their weaknesses, is Rex's match in strategy and combat while being more independent.

All of this points to Cut being anything but a regular CT, and as far as I'm concerned he was absolutely a Commando.

#g gives a thought #cut lawquane #captain rex #the clone wars #tcw

[clauii]

This is the right date, right?

(⁠・⁠∀⁠・) .❥

Wonyoung x F!reader

Word count: 1.519k

Synopsis: Going to another blind date your dad set you up with, you find yourself liking the girl your dad set you up with or was she really the person your dad set you up with?

Who would have thought that my dad isn't as homophobic as I thought he was? My whole life, I have watched my dad complain about the movies we were watching whenever LGBTQ is involved yet here I am sitting in front of the same sex in a romantic cafe that my dad apparently set me up for.

    "Do you drink coffee?" She asked, her eyes fluttered to meet my gaze and I felt my whole mind and body freeze. But before I could stare any longer, I snapped back onto reality making sure I'm not making any weird like impressions on the lady.

    "Oh yes, I drink coffee." I responded.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I mentally facepalmed myself. I don't drink coffee! How am I supposed to go on now?

Before I could even go back on my words she cut me off. "Wait here." She smiled before standing up and going to the counter to place our orders.

    "Yes, good morning. Could I get two americano, please. And I'd also like two of your gigantic cookies. That's it thanks." I heard her saying nicely at the lady behind the counter.

What the absolute flip does Americano taste like? No, seriously, I have no idea.

A soft pull on the chair in front of me pulled me away from my thoughts. "Wonyoung, you didn't have to pay for me." She simply chuckled softly at my antics. "Oh don't worry, it's not such a big deal, you know. This is, after all, my first ever blind date that my parents set me up for."

A soft gasp escaped my lips. "Well if it's your first blind date then I should've been the one that paid then." The concern lingered in my voice as each word escaped my mouth.

    "No, it's fine." She waved her hand in front of me while she smiled sweetly at me. I nodded as I understood her while my eyes averted on the ground but then a thought slipped in my mind and my head snapped back at her, earning a small warm chuckle from her.

    "Should we do an ice breaker?" I asked her.

    "To get to know each other?" She asked with one eyebrow raised while her head tilted to the right.

I felt my lips quiver by her subtle pose. So, I simply smiled at her and nodded. "We already know each other's names so let's just skip that part."

She raised her head up subtly, thoroughly thinking about what question she should ask. For once, and finally, my dad has set me up on blind date with someone who's actually really pretty, both inside and out.

For the past couple of months, my dad has been setting me up with some males who clearly do not even resemble the ideal man my dad was talking about. They were either boys, dudes, and guys, you know what I mean? I mean, they're not men, but who would've thought that the man I would like and adore would be in a woman instead, particularly, this woman in front of me.

Her eyes seemed to have lit up when she finally thought of something. To be honest, she did take her time to think about the question, but surprisingly I find myself waiting patiently for her. If this were someone else, would I have acted the same?

    "Earlier you told me that your father set you up for this blind date, am I right?" She said while her elbows were propped on the table, her fingers intertwined against each other all while supporting her chin that rests on top of her fingers.

I nodded eagerly, encouraging her to continue.

    "And then I told you that my parents set me up for this blind date." I nodded in agreement but then a smile appeared on her lips, then she chuckled awkwardly or was it nervously? "I'm sorry, I'm bad at starting conversations. Could you start it instead?" Her face looked apologetic and her cheeks turned red as she gazed at me. I couldn't help but burst out giggling at her adorable demeanor.

Soon our laughter died down and I finally opened my mouth to talk, but before any words could form, our orders were delivered by a waiter and left.

We talked for what felt like seconds as it ended too quickly. I find myself lowkey sulking because we need to go our separate ways and call it a day.

    "Thanks Wonyoung, I really enjoyed today. It was definitely top tier compared to my other dates." She laughed at my statement. "Yeah, I had fun too."

As we walked out of the cafe, the chilly night air collided with my skin and a shiver trailed down my body. I brought my hands around my exposed arms.

A good day to wear a sleeveless shirt, my ass.

But soon, the coldness was replaced with warmth, as a warm brown coat enveloped my upper body, fully protecting me from the cold. My eyes gazed at the person who put it on me; it was her, obviously.

Her hands gripped the lapel of her coat and she gently crossed them, one side above the other, securely keeping me from the cold.

    "Don't underestimate the power of spring. It may be warm by daylight, but it's unbelievably cold by night." She smiled down at me before leaning in slowly to leave a chaste kiss on my cheeks.

As she leans away, her soft eyes meet mine and I don't know if it's because of the cold why her cheeks were red but I sure hope not.

    "I know it may be sudden, but I felt like I've known you for so long and I hope that we can continue seeing each other." Her hands never left the lapel of her coat as one of her eyebrows were raised again with her head being slightly tilted to the left. I guess it's one of her habits, her habits that I could adore all so effortlessly.

Speechless, I just nodded eagerly. Of course I want to keep meeting her again, I want to keep hanging out with her often— I want to live the rest of my life with her.

She handed me her business card and smiled at me before turning around. I grabbed her wrist before she could leave her spot. "Wouldn't you get cold?" I asked her, my voice was leaking with concern. She immediately faced me with a smile on her lips.

    "You'll keep my heart warm though, won't you?" She smirked at me sheepishly before laughing at my blushing state.

I'm absolutely going feral. My mind is going crazy and my heart is trying to win an imaginary racing competition.

"It's fine, you need it more considering what you're wearing beneath that." She said before turning around.

But then she turned to face me once again, she leaned closer to my ear. "You can return it on our next meeting. Also, next time let's have tea instead of coffee." She whispered, a giddy smile never leaving her lips, before leaning away and then finally taking her leave.

A few minutes later, I entered our house after taking an uber to go home. I slipped off my shoes and set foot on the white tiles.

    "I'm home!"

My dad immediately rushed in getting a view of me, it was as if he was waiting for me; he was.

    "How's my favorite daughter?" He said teasingly and I rolled my eyes at him.

    "I'm your only daughter..?"

    "Exactly! How was the date? Did you have fun?" He said waiting for my answers excitedly.

When he mentioned about the date, a smile immediately crept on my face, my hands instinctively hovered over the lower half of my face to cover my red cheeks.

My dad's eyes widened at my flustered state and a proud smile appeared on his lips. "So..?"

    "It was perfect!"

    "It was perfect?" He echoed, repeating what I've said but with a much more questioning yet amazed tone.

    "She was perfect, dad!"

    "She was perfect-." He echoed excitedly once again before stopping upon realization. He stares at me confusingly while I was busy trying not to fall on my quivering knees as I remember her smiles.

    "What do you mean 'she?'"

    "What do you mean? The girl you set me up with? Jang Wonyoung?" A confused gaze met another confused gaze.

    "I set you up with no girl.." He said slowly.

    "So, she wasn't my date?" He shook his head. Ohh that makes a lot of sense now.

Instead of making a big deal out of it, I shrugged it off. So what if she wasn't supposed to be my date? We enjoyed each other's company, so what?

    "Whatever, dad. I like her, I think I'm going to keep on seeing her." I walked past his speechless state and went directly into my room.

I plopped myself down on my mattress and hugged my pillow, the giddy feeling never escaping my nervous system.

    "Jang Wonyoung.." I muttered under my breath as I took in a deep and content sigh.

Y'all, Im thinking about whether I'll make a part two of this. Lowkey really enjoyed making this one even if it means I just ruined my sleeping schedule lmao. ෆ⁠╹⁠ ⁠.̮⁠ ⁠╹⁠ෆ

🌈masterlist🩷

#wonyoung x fem reader #lesbian #lgbtq #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung imagines #wonyoung #jang wonyoung #ive #kpop #kpop gg #kpop imagines #ive imagines #ive x reader #fem reader #fluff #wlw #izone

[s3xiel4ss]

My Daddy

Pairing: Sully Family x Sully!Reader, Jake Sully x Daughter!Reader

Requested: no

Summary: After a run in with Avatar’s, your dad says somethings he probably shouldn’t have said and you respond to those things in an unhealthy way

Warnings: Knife mention, talks about slitting throat, 

NOT PROOFREAD

A/N: it was so hard not putting “y’all”. Also tell me why i got butterflies making Jake say “babygirl”/srs.

NOT PROOFREAD, NOT MY GIF CREDS TO WHO MADE IT

You had to be the parent when Neteyam or your parents weren’t there. So when Lo’ak runs off with most the family, you’re the one responsible for anything that happens. So despite you’re protests you have to follow everyone, everyone being: Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, and of course, Tuk. You had Tuk stay closest with you practically the whole time. 

“Bro,” Spider said, “It’s the place where my dad and your dad fought” while they all ran over there.

“No, don’t go ove-” you were cut off by female and male voices from around. 

They were walking up to the tiny building, they looked like Omaticaya, but they were in full camo. 

“Lo’ak contact dad” you said, “Everyone else, Don’t. Move.” 

Lo’ak nodded then after he finished speaking he told us dad said to get out of there. 

So we started going back the way we came. 

“Mom and Dad are going to kill you when we go back you know that right?” Kiri said while we walked. 

“Kiri, not now” you replied Sternly. 

“Guys come on it’s almost Eclipse!” Tuk exclaimed while going far ahead, too far ahead. 

A high-pitched scream is all that's heard before your senses kick back in, those avatar were holding you all. 

You gave the guy with a buzz cut and camo a dirty stare, you knew he was Quaritch. The way he smirked, remembering how your dad described his looks, he was identical. He was just your race now, or at least looked the part. 

He looked at you than your hands. He said with a horrific smirk, “You’re one of his aren’t ya?” 

He then demanded you all to show your hands while each Avatar was holding all of you tight. When he went to Lo’ak and demanded him, you prayed to Eywa he wouldn’t do anything remotely stupid, but of course he did. He flipped the Avatar off. 

“You’re definitely one of his” he mumbled with an annoying chuckle. 

He goes over to Spider, the one that looked human. They had a conversation but you could not concentrate on it. You instead multi-tasked. 

You prayed to Eywa your parents were here and that everyone would get out of here safely, and you watched your siblings. Their body language, what they were saying or doing. Tuk was terrified and upset, most definitely tired as well. Kiri had her eyes closed whispering something, guessing she was praying to Eywa as well. While Lo’ak was giving the Avatar on him absolute attitude, which if your parents didn’t come in that moment you’re sure he would’ve had his throat slit. 

-------

Once you all got “home”, you were prepared to get yelled at. 

Tuk still terrified, walked with your mother to go to sleep. You and Lo’ak standing there ready for your dad to scream at you two. He decided to let Kiri off the hook, knowing she wouldn't have ‘wanted’ to do this, also knowing about what happened to Spider.

“What were you two thinking?! You know that the old battlegrounds are specifically off limit for a reason! Not only that but you brought Tuk?!” He screeched at the both of you. 

“Sir, I take full responsibility of what happened. It was irresponsible of me to do so.” you calmly responded. 

“Yes! It is most of your fault what happened out there! it is your responsibility to watch your younger siblings when no one else is there! Not only that but allowing them to bring Tuk as well?! As well as your siblings put under a knife under your watch?! I’m disappointed in you Y/n. You’re grounded from flying for three months. Go to bed” He yelled at you. 

You headed to bed, repeating what he said in your mind, during this though you heard less angry muffled yelling at Lo’ak. You fell asleep repeating what he said in your mind over and over. 

------- 

In the morning you didn’t remember everything he said. The only thing repeating was “I’m disappointed in you”. You couldn’t get it out of your head. You know what you did was wrong, but you’re father has never said that to you before. It made you feel horrible. You weren’t hungry in the morning. You didn’t sit at the table, not wanting to face your dad again after the events of last night. 

You were lying in bed when you heard footsteps.

 “Go away, I want to be alone.” you groaned.

“Sister, you did the best you could at protecting them. Kiri told me the full story” He calmy told you. 

You turned to face him, tears welling in your eyes. 

“Neteyam, I put my siblings, Tuk especially, at risk! It is my fault they were held under a blade.” You replied with a shaky voice, “Could you please leave me brother..? I would like to be alone”

And he did just that. A couple hours later, you heard footsteps again.

“Neteyam. I still would like to be left alone.” You said slightly annoyed.

“Will you talk to me, baby girl?” Jake responded. 

Your eyes widened, before turning over to your dad, you wiped your leaked tears from your face. You then face your father. 

He takes that as an invitation to come over, “You wanna talk?” 

Your eyes start to well again. “I’m sorry that I’m such a disappointment to you dad” you say apologetically to him. Your tears starting to escape you. 

“oh baby girl, no your not a disappointment. Yesterday, I had some said things I probably shouldn’t have to you and your brother. I was just scared and angry and took out on you.” He explained, “I could never be disappointed in you baby.”

“I love you daddy” you said while hugging him. 

He hugged you back,  “I love you too sweetheart, now come on let’s get you something to eat”. 

#sully! daughter #im finally feeding y'all #jake sully x daughter!reader #this story got changed so many damn times lmao #jake sully is such a dilf. #neteyam x twin!reader #btw reader is neteyams younger twin. Prolly by like a day but thats why "younger older sibling: #im such an idiot genius #dilf jake sully #didn't even use the queue either

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 3rd, 2024 🎀

Today was a weird day. My anxiety was off the walls, and I think it's because that time of the month decided to occur, which is throwing me way off. Birth control has made that not happen for 2 years so, I was definitely caught off guard. (omg I hope that's not tmi, it's just something I gotta deal with again as a woman)

🩷 What I Accomplished Today:

Reviewed Spanish Busuu Chapters 6 and 7

Reviewed all flashcards once fully through

listened to one podcast episode in spanish

completed question set about renal nutrition from my dietitian mentor

met with an advisor regarding adding a 2nd major in finance

met with my advisor and got some good advice before adding the 2nd major

emailed the director of the Dietetic program at my college to schedule a meeting

wrote chemistry notes (need to finish and catch up with this week - I've missed both lectures)

completed a chemistry homework assignment

planned tasks for tomorrow

met with dietitian mentor

scrubbed my toilet clean

🩷 Good Things That Happened:

got an extension on my chem lab report

got confirmation of taking a make up quiz for my psyc class

took an hour nap

got excused from lecture and lab today (going to make it up tomorrow)

met most of my goal tasks

my meetings with the advisors went really well

got to talk to my dad per usual, and he was supportive of the 2nd major stuff

my boyfriend was supportive of my 2nd major stuff

met a super cute blue heeler puppy that was so cute and friendly, tho she did cut my thumb slightly but it's okay cause she's just a puppy

got 7k steps in today

🩷 What Could've Been Better:

could've managed my anxiety a bit better

could've been more productive instead of doing my "productive procrastination"

need to stop trying to do academic things while sitting in bed

need to stop trying to stay awake when I randomly wake up at 4am

need to drink more water, for sure

need to work on better nutrition

Today was a weird day. But that's okay. Weird days do happen. I know now what made it weird, and I'll adapt.

Til next time lovelies 🩷

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self development #wonyoungism #it girl #mental health #physical health #language study #study tips #college student #uni student aesthetic #student life #university student #studyblr #spanish language #language learning #language studyblr #spanish langblr #langblr #uni student #student #college studyblr #college studyspo #studying #that girl energy #that girl #becoming that girl #it girl energy #pink academia #pink aesthetic

[psychedelic-ink]

𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑰'𝑴 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫

pairing: tommy miller x fem!reader

genre: smut, soft enemies to lovers, minors dni

word count: 3.4k

summary: when you met him the first time him and his brother was your captor, months later he becomes yours, and quickly after that he become a resident of Jackson. You've already forgiven him for his past, but he's not happy with how eager you are to excuse what he's done.

warnings: tommy having a hero complex, tommy lashing out, piv sex, time skips, oral (giving & receiving)

a/n: the format I've written this in is inspired by @littlemisspascal 's getting lost is being found joel fic, which I highly recommend by the way it was amazing, one of my favorite things ever 💜

i.

The world went to shit, well joke on the world, your life was already shit long before outbreak day. 

It wasn’t for a lack of trying. Nothing just seemed to work out for you. But then all hell broke loose and suddenly it felt like you were off the hook, that you could be someone else, someone you always wanted to be. Someone that you knew you were. Before all this, you were just hurt, felt broken, but still smiled and went about your day. You tried to be good. Tried to be nice. For the most part, you like to think that you succeeded. 

You became a guide. Somewhat similar to Charon, if you spared yourself the thought but instead of guiding the dead to Hades, you guided the living away from it. Things went smooth for the most part, you helped people where they needed to go, killed infected, shot down those who shot first. It was the oddest type of freedom that you felt. 

But life had other plans, and life loved to point its middle finger right into your face. 

It’s a dad and his two kids this time, you were helping them get to the nearest QZ. You cut the fence, helped them through, you knew hunters were lurking nearby, people who survived on killing and stealing—vultures. 

You feel a tight grip on your neck and you’re being violently pulled back. The kids look back at you with horror lingering in their eyes, the dad eager to pull them away. With a deep breath, you manage to force out a smile. 

“Go!” you shout. “You’re almost there!” 

And they run, they run as fast as they can. 

“Fuck!” you hear one of them say, a deep souther drawl heavy in your ear. “Shit, they got away. They had good weapons on them too.” 

“At least we got the one,” the man that holds you answers. “Let’s go back, see what this one has.” 

“Let me the fuck go!” you struggle, attempting to elbow him in the stomach. “You fucking assholes. They were fucking kids.” 

Finally one comes into view, he’s broad—broad enough to stun you into silence. The fear of death lurks around your heart, sucking you into a black pit of realizing that this might be it. He has a glare that could kill, a hooked nose, and, most importantly, a gun. This man, you notice, this man would kill you in a heartbeat. He gives you one last once-over before tilting his head to the other holding you down. 

“Knock her out, Tommy.” 

ii. 

It’s late. Far too late for anyone to be awake. The embers of the crackling fire had died down, only specks of golden orange shimmering between the ash. You’ve learned the names of your captors; Tommy and Joel. Brothers, you assumed, they didn’t really have to spell it out for it to be obvious. 

You’re not sure why you’re still alive. You remember Joel muttering something about using you as bait, or to learn more about the routes that you seemed to know. Tommy had agreed. 

In another life, another time, you would’ve deemed the men attractive. Especially Tommy. He had a boyish charm to him, longer hair compared to his brother (those poor dark locks had definitely seen better days), and mussed unkempt facial hair indicating that they’d been at this for a long time. You understand, to a degree, why someone might choose this to survive. Some people just didn’t know what else to do. Some people simply enjoyed it; the power, the freedom, the giddiness of not having a system to say no. 

From what you understand, these two just had no idea what else to do. Too far off to reach a QZ, or they simply don’t trust FEDRA, whatever it is they seem to have made a life for themselves neither of them looked happy to be in. 

Your eyes fall to where Joel is sleeping, Tommy’s on watch, which makes you somewhat hopeful, you don’t have the strength to piss off Joel—Tommy you can take a chance with, he seemed softer. Softer like a rose, pricking you if you’re too lax and not careful enough. 

You’ve been captured before, and due to that, it doesn’t take long for you to free yourself from the hard ropes they tied you in. You hold your breath as you move away from the camp, careful not to step on any branches or rubble. You see Tommy ahead, he’s looking at you, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes. You expect him to shoot, to chase after you. 

He continues to stare as you disappear into the night. 

ii.

You see a lot of dead bodies by the riverbed. Some infected, some not. You think about turning around, walking back to where you came from but before you can make a decision you’re surrounded. Your hands rise instantly, not wanting to cause trouble. Multiple rifles are pointed directly at you, and you notice a cute black dog but you have an inkling you won’t be feeling the same in a couple of minutes. 

“I’m not here to cause trouble,” you say, the cold seeping through your jacket. “Just lost. I’m not infected.” 

“Naive for you to think we’ll believe you,” one of the horsemen answers. “You mind if we test that out?”

You didn’t mind, but even if you did, you doubt you have any say in the matter. The dog comes forward, ears pressed against his skull, and you instinctively reach out your hand. You can’t really feel the wetness of his nose, but you can imagine it as he presses into your gloved palm. A moment later he starts wagging his tail. 

A horse, along with its rider, steps up and everyone looks nervously at the equestrian. You straighten yourself and notice that even the dog pulls away, the energy she has demands respect, and oozes power. You swallow, looking up at her with both amusement and fear. 

"You can come with us," she says, and without hesitation, one of the men helps you up onto the horse they're riding. Your hands fumble nervously as you grab onto the horse's shoulders, trying to steady yourself.

You’re not dead yet so you must be doing something right. 

iv. 

You trudge through the biting snow, your skin prickles with cold and the relentless flakes melt as soon as they touch your skin. You shudder. The cold is almost unbearable, but everyone has to pull their weight, no exceptions. Narrowing your eyes,, you spot a lone figure struggling in the snow. The way he moves is sluggish and ungainly, like a snail inching its way along a path.

With a sharp whistle, you signal to your companions to follow. They circle around the body with hesitation; it’s a man, a man that is somewhat familiar to you. The stranger groans and turns to his back, chest heaving heavily, you notice the tremble of his lips, the redness of his nose. You even notice the build-up of snow in his hair.

You know him. You have no idea how he ended up all the way here, but you know him. Getting off the horse, you shake your head. You don't know him, not really. You only know his name and what he represents.

Ian approaches, his eyes questioning as he asks, "What should we do? Should we leave him?"

“I know him,” you say, a hint of amusement in your voice due to the irony. “Let’s take him in. I’ll talk to Maria.” 

His eyes flutter open, a brief expression of confusion appearing on his features. You can’t help but lean over a bit, hands placed on your hips. 

“You’re not dead yet. Don’t worry.” 

But as soon as the words leave your lips, Tommy loses consciousness.

v. 

He’s alone at the bar. He’s always alone. 

Initially, Maria was reluctant to let Tommy stay, but for some reason, you vouched for him. You deeply believe that everyone deserves a second chance. A slightly foolish, maybe even childish, thought on your part but you can’t help it. In his eyes you only see parts of a broken man, his belief in the world shattered and gone with the wind. 

Tommy struggles with socializing. He says hi and good morning but that’s pretty much all anyone can get out of him. You’re the only one who knows he has a brother, what he’s done. He’s especially annoyed when you’re around, which you think is a little bit unfair but you digress. He does what he’s told and handy with most things—which is lucky for you, you would hear a handful if he couldn’t do anything. 

You want to talk to him, you have ever since you first saw him again. Hoping that this time it’ll be different, you sit near him not next to him. There are two empty seats between you two. 

“Hi,” you greet him, he doesn’t look at you. In fact, he doesn’t acknowledge you at all. “How are you?” 

No answer. 

“You’re not having any issues right? You know, heating, water pressure, all that jazz.” 

You’re not surprised at the least when he gets up and leave, not a word uttered. He pushes past the crowd and disappears through the door, into the cold. Unlike other times, this is the first instance where anger simmers hot in your gut. You’ve been nothing but patient. But not tonight. He’s going to talk to you whether he likes it or not. 

With anger in your steps, you storm out. Luckily, he’s not far. You find him staring up at the undecorated Christmas tree. Normally, you would find it a somber sight, but you’re too frustrated to think about how good he looks with snow falling around him. 

“Tommy!” you yell out, and he flinches, head snapping to you with wide eyes. “What the hell is your deal?” 

“My deal?” he answers, voice eerily smooth and calm. “I should be fuckin’ asking you that.” 

You’re standing an inch from him, the cold biting into your skin. “My deal? I’ve been nothing but nice to you. Wouldn’t wanna play that card but may I remind you that you’re fucking alive because of me? You could at least not be an asshole.” 

“Sure you wanna go that route sweetheart? Because I could easily say the same thing for you.” 

That night—the night that you escaped, so he did see you. All this time you convinced yourself that it was your eyes playing tricks in the dark. You shake your head, wanting to dislodge the moment from your mind. 

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” you hiss. “Why are you avoiding me? I just want to talk.” 

“Just leave me the fuck alone. You shouldn’t want to talk to me— someone like you… It ain’t normal. I should’ve died that night. I didn’t ask you to fuckin’ save me.” 

You’re taken aback by the silent rage but refuse to show him the effect he has. The only indication that his words had any kind of result is when you take a step back, allowing him some semblance of space. 

“You’re right, you didn’t,” you say softly, slowly. His gaze bores into you. “But I did. And you’re here. I didn’t save you that night to just make a point of who’s the better person. As you said, you allowed me to go that night—thank you by the way—but what are you going to do, just not talk to me? Ignore me? I don’t think that’s fair for either of us.”

You stand frozen as Tommy takes a step closer, his breath hot against your skin. 

"What do you want from me?" he growls, his voice low and threatening.

You try to take a step back but he follows, closing the gap between you. You can feel the heat emanating from his body, a stark contrast to the frigid air around you. His lips curl into a slight sneer, and you can't help but feel a slight twinge of fear.

"You're always so nice, aren't you?" he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But what do you really want? You want me to be your little pet? Fixing me up like some broken toy. Well, newsflash, sweetheart, I'm not broken. I'm just fine the way I am."

"That’s not—" you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "That wasn’t my intention at all. The world is shit, I just didn’t want to add to it."

Tommy scoffs, his eyes glinting with anger. "But you did by keeping me alive. I did horrible things, things you can’t even imagine. So don't pretend like you understand me, because you don't."

“I know the shit you did Tommy. I was almost one of your victims, remember?”

His eyes drop to the ground, the fire in his eyes finally fading. He takes a quick step back, shoulder slumped, he shakes his head. 

“I remember. There ain’t a day I don’t remember the shit I’ve done—we’ve done with my brother.” 

Tommy gives you one last look before walking away, “I don’t need your pity.” 

Half an hour later, you’re still standing there under the snow, completely alone. 

vi.

It’s a dance almost. You find different ways for Tommy to communicate with you. You unlock his anger, his disappointment, his need to be good—the hero, if you will. But to be fair, you can’t take all the credit. It was mostly due to him, you got too close, and he got too frustrated. It was a brief moment of lips touching, then it quickly turned into a desperate ask for submission. You were eager to give, he hated that. Hated that you could when he couldn’t. 

You know that there’s a high chance of other things lingering below the surface, things that he probably hadn’t dared to address himself. 

In the privacy of your bedroom, you’re on your knees for him. Sucking on the tip of his cock eagerly as he stands upright, his hands are firsts that are stuck to his sides. This isn’t the first time, it isn’t the last. By the way salty precum coats your tongue, you know he’s enjoying himself. He has to be, if he wasn’t this wouldn’t be happening. 

You figure that he enjoys fighting against it until he breaks. When he surrenders himself to it, to the pleasure, to the primal need to take, he pins you down and fucks you with everything he has. All his frustration seeps into you, each stroke deeper than the next. You enjoy that he’s rough, you enjoy feeling the lingering sting on your skin long after he leaves. 

Looking up, you swallow him further down. He’s not overly thick but long, the dark curls at the base trimmed but still looking untouched. Tommy thrusts forward, the head of his cock brushing the back of your throat. Your nostrils flare as your lungs convulse with the need to cough, he notices but doesn’t pull back. Instead, you feel two hands cradling the back of your neck, pulling you further down his length, making you take him whole. 

Your eyes go wide and squeeze shut right after. You feel him throbbing in your throat and you swallow, again and again, which prompts him to drag his cock out slightly only to bury himself back into your throat. Your jaw aches, spit dripping down the corners of your lips as you flatten your tongue over the underside of his cock. A faint growl echoes from the back of his throat, you swallow again, he fucks your mouth as he would your wet cunt. Tears flood your lashline, you can barely breathe. Your throat tightens around him. 

“Fuck, don’t close your eyes,” he grunts, the dark curls at the base tickling your nose. “Look at me. Look at me like you always do.” 

The Look, is something that you still don’t quite understand. He says it often, telling you to look at him the way that you do, but you emphasize nothing special when you do end up looking at him. It’s just your normal gaze. He only asks for it when he’s inside you. 

You slowly open your eyes, your lashes wet and stuck together. His thumb smooths over the patch of skin right under your eye, his chest stutters, muscles growing taut under your gaze. 

Ironically, he closes his eyes and lifts his head as if staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t utter another word after that, your lips raw from the way he thrust forward. You feel the twitch of his cock, thick ropes sliding down your throat. You never tire of the taste of him. Not sweet, not bitter. You enjoy the brief moment he forgets where he is, that soft noise escaping his lips, the juvenile way his thighs shake—those are the things that make you ache for the taste of him. You’re an addict. 

But so is he. 

vii.

Your palms press into the smooth surface of the bar counter. Tommy lurks behind you, cock pressing inside, fingers making dents into your warm skin. It’s late into the night, you’re not sure of the exact time but you know it’s late. His one hand slips between your legs, he feels how wet you are, how needy you get for him. He presses a finger to your clit, the pads of the digits moving in deft circles. 

A sharp moan parts your lips, back arching as he pounds into you, the sound of skin against skin loud, yet not enough to pierce the sound of the snowstorm outside. A dose of pleasure buzzes through your veins, electricity crackling across your skin as you feel his length press deep inside. His fingers grasp your throat, pulling you up until his lips tickle your ear. He heaves, his warm breath fanning your skin. 

“Tell me I’m a good person,” he chokes out. “Please.” 

“You’re good,” you answer slightly out of breath. You touch his neck, the position slightly straining but worth it when he holds you tighter. “Such a good man—and I mean that.” 

Your eyes widen with shock when he slides his tongue into your mouth. Tommy doesn’t kiss you often, if at all, but it lights a fire under your stomach. It burns you from the inside out, the smoke of it making your mind spin. Your eyes flutter close and you take a deep breath, he grinds his hips, your insides pulsing around him. 

“I don’t care even if you’re lyin’—” 

He releases you and you stumble forward, hands finding purchase on the bar counter once more. But you can’t hold your position for long, not with the way he’s hammering into you, reducing you into a babbling mess. Your hands slide, your upper body completely falling over. Tommy doesn’t pause, he doesn’t even slow down. He presses you further into the surface.

“Because I know that you are.” 

Tommy suddenly pulls out, a sharp gasp rips from your throat, your cunt clenching around nothing. Before you can protest, however, he turns you over and pushes you. He kneels between your legs, lips finding the tender folds of your pussy. 

Your head falls back when he licks into you eagerly, tasting himself and your arousal. His groans vibrate against you, your thighs threaten to close, the meat of them pressing into both sides of his face. 

His lips press against your clit, suckling and teasing it in a way that drives you wild. His tongue moves in circles as he pushes two fingers, curling them and applying pressure. Without a second thought, you fingers thread his hair, tugging him closer. Arousal pools between your legs.

Your breathing becomes labored and your body starts to shake. Your eyes roll back as your entire body shakes. Your hips buck against him as he continues to bring you over the edge, your cries of pleasure echoing off the walls of the bar. 

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you collapse against the bar counter, your body still shaking from the intensity of the orgasm. You can feel your skin tingling, your heart pounding and your head spinning. Tommy stands, a hint of pride lingering in his dark eyes. You continue to breathe and watch as he fists himself, the tip of his cock a shade darker when he comes thick ropes over your stomach. You hiss at the heat, the feeling of having a part of him staining you. 

Tommy pulls up his pants, and you notice as you get dressed, he’s avoiding your gaze. You’re too satisfied to care. He licks his lips, which you found was a nervous habit he has and offers you his arm. You hadn’t expected it, but indulge in the gesture by taking it. 

“Let’s get out of here before someone sees us.” 

#tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x f!reader #hbo the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction

[justmeinadaze]

You Should Be Sad (Steddie X You)

Part 1 Without Me

A/N: ENTER WITH CAUTION! Like my previous chapter THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL! Its angsty and dealing with dark themes of addiction. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU CHOOSE TO SKIP THIS STORY!

Warnings: Toxic Steddie and reader! Even though in the bulk of this story they are on a healing journey a lot of their toxic behavior is discussed and expanded upon. ANGST, They are sober but they still haven't truly faced all of their demons. Eddie is a former drug addict and Steve is a former alcoholic. Their previous behavior is discussed and expanded upon including verbal abuse, Eddie ODing, and smacking the reader (its just the one time but it shakes them both).

Eddie does go visit his dad in jail and of course his dad is an asshole. Eddie talks about his trauma and what his mom went through. Steve does the same when it comes to his dad and how he made him feel.

Reader talks about her healing and how they were like her drug. She talks in detail about how they made her feel especially when Eddie ODed.

I think that's all the angst. Again DARK THEMES ARE EXPLORED HEAVILY! If that makes you uncomfortable I understand if you choose not to read!

SMUT, not rough in anyway, there's still love between them and they are much gentler with her here then in the last chapter. FLUFF, I did create a happy ending. I think they deserve that <3. Not all situations like this end badly.

Word Count: 11,371

 1991

“I, um, called her mom and she said she may be coming in but I don’t know.”, Steve sighed as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

“And if she doesn’t that’s alright. You’ve been doing really well, Steven. Compared to where you were three years ago after Y/N left.” The man grimly smiled towards the group counselor.

He hated thinking about that time in his life. After you three graduated school, they convinced you to move into an apartment with them. Being completely away from prying eyes didn’t make things any better. Steve drank more excessively and Eddie continued to snort heavy amounts of his drug. Their toxic behavior amplified and every day they watched your personality that they fell in love slowly fade. 

 Three years ago, you finally had enough. You didn’t notify them in any way or even go back to the apartment to pack a bag. You just got in your car and ran from Hawkins. 

Losing you shook them to their core. A week after you disappeared, Steve went to the station and told Hopper about the accident he had caused senior year that got you hurt. They charged him for the DUI and fleeing the scene but instead of any prison time the chief got him into a rehab program. After six months of in-patient treatment, he was released for continued out-patient rehab therapy. He had been sober ever since but every day was hard. Due to his record no one wanted to hire him even though he was a Harrington so he ended up having to work at his dad’s firm. 

With everything that happened, his dad became almost worse, constantly reminding him of his failures. Every time he said something condescending or Steve had that strong urge to drink, he would look at the photo he had of you three on his desk and remind himself why he was trying to be better. 

***

His uncle watched Eddie with cautious eyes as he took an obnoxiously big bite of the burger in front of him. 

“Wayne, if you stare at me any harder you’re going to burn a hole through my brain.”

The man laughs as he takes a sip from his glass of water. He knew his nephew was allowed to drink but chose not to for his roommate’s sake. Wayne didn’t want to make that choice any harder than he was sure it was so whenever he spent the afternoon with him he would drink anything but.

“How’s therapy goin’?”

“It’s, uh, it’s going.”, Eddie sighs. “We’ve been talking a lot about Allen lately. She…she thinks I should go to the prison and confront him. Face my fears so to speak. I told her I’m not afraid of him—” His uncle’s scoff cut him off. “What? I’m not.”

“Ed…you went through a lot as a kid. I don’t know how much you remember but—”

“I remember all of it.”

“Ok, I’m just saying, when someone goes through what you went through at such a young age…it’s ok to still…be afraid.” Eddie glares down at his plate as his uncle continues. “You’re not like him, son. Yeah, you fucked up but you’re trying. My brother gave up way before he ever went in.”

The boy’s jaw tightened as he tried to keep his emotions in check. 

“I hurt her, Wayne. That night I… I was out of control. You should have seen the way she looked me…after I…It was how mom looked him.”

***

You stared at the Hawkins road sign from your parked car as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You had been gone for three years and when you originally left you told yourself you were never coming back. The night you ran was the beginning of your own personal rehab purging you of them. You desperately needed to get away from their toxicity after what happened. 

About a year after you left, you received a call from a doctor at a rehab center a few hours outside of Hawkins asking if you would be willing to come be a part of Steve’s 12 step rehabilitation program. He needed to make amends and so far only Eddie and his mom participated. You declined at the time feeling there was no point. Steve was never consistent when it came to being sober. 

Every year you got a call but this year you were surprised when your mom asked you to take part as well. 

“Steve talked about your accident and apologized for his behavior. Y/N, he seemed so sincere. I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable coming back but it really did help me hearing him apologize especially after he’s continued to be sober. Maybe it can be a bit healing for you to.”

Eddie’s uncle kept your mom updated on his progress but amends were a lot harder for him. It wasn’t just that he was afraid to face that guilt but he felt like he still wasn’t strong enough to handle that emotion. 

You spent the last three years on a type of spiritual journey; traveling the world and having experiences of your own that didn’t include Eddie and Steve. You made a lot of new friends and got into a healthy relationship or two. You were living in the moment and for once you were extremely happy…well…happier.

Even you knew at some point you would have to come back here to Hawkins. Not just to see your family but to face the memories and everything you had been through. You needed to heal and if facing them in this controlled setting would do that then so be it.

###########

“Eddie, it’s ok.”, the counselor soothed as he watched the metalhead’s leg bounce anxiously. 

“Yeah, no. I’m just a little nervous. Is-Is she really coming?”

On cue, there’s a tiny knock on the man’s office door as the receptionist slowly opened it to tell him you were here. The boys watched as he poked his head through and said a few words to you before leading you into the room.

It took every fiber of their being not to get up and run to you, lift you in their arms, and kiss your lips. It had been three years and you were even more beautiful than they remembered. Your hair was a bit shorter and wherever you had been you were obviously constantly being kissed by the sun. You had gained a bit of weight which was good because when you were with them you barely ever ate anything since you were always in a constant state of panic worrying about them. What they wouldn’t give to see you smile again. 

Your arms remained hugged around your chest as the person in charge guided you to a seat across of them. They both looked different and, to be honest, unrecognizable to you sober. They carried a different air that made you wonder had you run into them anywhere else would you have even recognized them? Eddie still had his long hair and clean face but his eyes had more of a hollow ring around them as if he hadn’t slept in three years. Instead of the heavy metal garb you expected him to be in, he was wearing clothes that resembled his uncle’s style down to the beige colored boots. 

Steve looked like a younger version of his father and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t hurt you for him. He was wearing a suit with the sleeves rolled to his elbows as the jacket rested on the arm rest behind him. His beautiful brown hair was now wild as if he didn’t have the energy to style it anymore. Even the slight facial hair that dusted his upper lip and along his jaw line screamed that he was too exhausted to put in that extra effort. 

“Y/N, I just want to start this by saying this is a safe space, okay? You can say anything you want and there is no judgement. Usually, we do this one at a time but I thought it might be easier for you to do this with them both here.”

“You cleared it with her first right? You told her we both would be here?”

The doctor glanced over at Steve sympathetically. “Yes, I did. I wouldn’t have pushed her if she felt unsafe to be in a room with you both.”

“I do feel unsafe.” All eyes turned to you. “I…I still feel like this isn’t real. That you two are going to leave this place and go back to your apartment to do what you do best.”

“That’s fair.”, Eddie nodded as his gaze shifted towards the floor. “We had always tried to get clean but could never succeed.”

“Pfft, tried.”, you scoffed angrily as your arms hugged your body tighter.

“Go ahead, Y/N. Get it all out here. They can’t make amends if they don’t hear everything.”

“See, that’s the thing, sir. They did hear everything. I said it over and over again since high school but they ignored me and focused on themselves. It’s kind of ironic to be in a relationship with two men yet still feel lonely and unheard!”

Silence falls heavily over everyone and after a few moments the counselor clears his throat. “Steven, why don’t you go ahead?”

“I, uh, don’t know if your parents told you but I came clean about the accident. I took accountability, Y/N, like you had always wanted me to and I am so…so sorry I didn’t do that sooner. I almost killed you and…I don’t know why that wasn’t enough of a wakeup call for me but I’m still learning. I’m still…fuck…I’m sorry, Y/N. I know no amount of apologizing will make up for that or how I treated you but I think about you every day. Every day I wake and I fight to be a better man. It’s so fucking hard but—”

He pauses when he notices you staring out the window trying to control the tears that had begun to fall, turning towards the man in charge helplessly.

“What’s running through your mind, Y/N?” You shake your head but he continues to try and urge you to speak. 

“I’m just wondering…why wasn’t I enough?”

“Honey—”

“No. NO. Don’t you fucking dare, Steve Harrington.” Angerly you wipe your eyes as you turn your body to fully face him. “Waking up every day is hard for you? Good. Now you know what it was like for me for all those years. I woke everyday knowing you were going to be drunk or Eddie was going to be high. The fun part was the gamble of which men I was going to get that day. The doting boyfriends or the abusive dickheads.” 

Eddie flinched at your last sentence making you sarcastically laugh. 

“And I notice you’re still really fucking quiet over there. You may hate hearing it, Ed, but it’s true. I’ve told you before and looking at you two now I see it more than ever. You are both exactly like your fathers!” 

“I’m sorry.���, the metalhead whispered. 

“For what, Eddie?! This is amends right? Make them!”

The doctor heard Steve sigh as his head turned from you both. “Steven, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

“No, not nothing. Use the feelings chart if you need to.” 

You and Eddie roll your eyes at the same time.

“Jesus Christ, I’m angry.”

“At who? At Y/N?”

You see the answer in his face and it throws you off guard as you wait for him to explain. 

“He’s angry with me.”, Eddie heavily growls under his breath.

“Why is that?”

“Take your pick.”, the metalhead responds for him. “We got drunk and high together. I never tried to stop him nor did I ever stop him from cheating on Y/N which was hypocritical because I accused her of cheating on us all the time. I’m the one that convinced him to leave her at the accident and I’m the reason…”

“Oh, don’t stop now, Munson. You’re on a roll.”, Steve sassed.

“You’re as much to blame for her leaving as I am.”

The boy turned on his friend rising to his feet as Eddie did the same. 

“You’re the one that ODed on our floor!”

“And you’re the one that was so drunk you passed out on the couch and didn’t even wake up till after the ambulance was long gone!”

“You’re the one that fucking HIT HER!”

The room went quiet again as what they both were saying hung in the air. 

“Can we stop for the day, please?” Your small voice slices the tension in half as the counselor nods and stands to take your hand so he can lead you out. 

Eddie doesn’t say a word as he gathers his things and flies past everyone out the door towards his van before skidding away. 

“He is doing a lot better. They both are but Edward seems to struggle more when it comes to facing that part of his trauma.”

“He never wanted to be like his dad. That was one of his biggest fears.”, you sigh.

“Thank you for coming by. I would like to try this again with them and you. Whenever you’re ready of course.”

############

You sip your coffee as you sit in the booth at the diner a few blocks from your house. You had so much trouble falling asleep as all the anxieties of seeing them and being back here hit you like a ton of bricks. After what happened today, you weren’t sure if you could do another session with them but you were surprised by how it unfolded. You had so many questions about the past but new revelations gave you new things you wanted to ask. Had Steve always blamed Eddie for the things that happened? Did Eddie blame himself? They both seemed more agitated and angrier then when they weren’t sober. Why? Was it because you left or were there things they hadn’t faced yet?

“Hey Sally. Can I have some coffee please?” As you looked up from your beverage your eyes locked with Steve’s weary ones. “Hey, um, I’m just getting some caffeine and then I’ll be gone so…”

“Couldn’t sleep either?”, you asked causing him to exhale a breathy chuckle.

“Um, kind of. Eddie didn’t come home so I’ve been looking for him. Sometimes when he’s stressed he hides and smokes like a carton of cigarettes before heading to work the next morning. I still haven’t found out where he goes.”

“You two don’t go to the pool anymore?” He shook his head before thanking the waitress as she hands him his to go cup. “I may know where he is. I found him there once when his dad sent him a letter from jail. I…I can show you.”

“Oh, hon- Y/N, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

After sliding out of the booth, you threw some money on the table and sauntered past him as you walked out the front door. 

“If anything, I’m more comfortable doing this than the group therapy bullshit.”

***

Steve sighed when his friend’s van came into view in the driveway of an old run down home.

“How did you know he’d be here?”

“This is where he lived with his parents when he was a boy. He told me once he felt closer to his mom here.”

To the other boy’s surprise, the front door wasn’t locked as you swung it open with no problem. 

“Hey! Get the fu—fuck me. Hey, Y/N. What are you both doing here?” Eddie had quickly risen from the long-abandoned couch when you two had come in.

“I’ve been looking for you for a while, Ed. She volunteered to show me where you might be.”

“Why?” You don’t say anything as your eyes scan him over. “Well, I’m here. I’m safe. I’m fucking sober.” He flashes you both his vest pockets before turning in a circle to show you everything else. “So, you can go back home.”

“Why are you so angry?” Your tone was anything but subtle and slightly loaded with contempt as he tilted his head at your question. “You both seem more on edge now than before I left but especially you Eddie. Why?”

His face flashes through multiple emotions before finally deciding to be honest instead of shutting down. 

“I feel the same way he does. It’s my fault that everything happened. It’s my fault…you left. I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“I don’t know about that.”, you grumble as you cross your arms. “I think you should feel bad about our time together… you and Steve. I think you deserve to be happy but you have to feel what I went through first before you can and it seems like at this moment that frightens you both but especially you.”

“Y/N, look at me! Him and I have fucking crawled our way to sobriety. Steve confessed to the accident and I talked to my uncle like you wanted. We both went to rehab and talked about our feelings and shit. We suffer every fucking day to be better! I mean…”

“I wanted accountability, Eddie. I’m proud of you two for how far you’ve come and owning up to your mistakes. I really am but you both are still avoiding the reason you turned to your vices; the reason you treated me like garbage. I carried your burdens for you for almost 7 years. It’s time for you to face them and move forward. Be happy.”

“Are you happy?”, Steve asks from behind you.

“I’m happier than I was… I still struggle with my self image and identity without you two.” 

“I’m sorry I don’t understand. We always thought you were way stronger than we ever were. That you had your own powerful identity.”

“Which is why we always thought at some point you would realize you were too good for us or…or someone else would see that and take you away.”, Eddie sighed, disappointed in himself. 

“I almost died but still stayed yet Eddie almost died and that was enough for me to run.”, you shrug as your voice cracks. “You two were my everything. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you. You were my vice.”

###########

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

“Jesus, Eddie. I was with my mom and I told you both that!”

“Really? You were with your mom until 10pm?!”

“YES! What do I have to do to prove to you, Eddie Munson, that I don’t want anyone else!!”

The metalhead rolled his eyes as he took a seat at the table and snorted the powder he had separated on top of it. 

“Maybe, if you followed through and stop doing this bullshit you’d actually fucking hear me.”

“Watch your mouth, Y/N or I swear to God—”, he warned as he stood up again. 

“You’ll what? Inhale another line and call me a whore?”

“Stop being a whore and I won’t call you one.”

You sarcastically laughed in his face. “Well gee Ed. I need someone to satisfy me since you or your drunken partner in crime can barely seem to get it up anymore!”

Your eyes snapped open as his ringed hand flew across your face, panting as you tried to catch your breath. It had been a while since you had that dream but you thought about that night often; the night he crossed that line. You could still feel the sting of the metal against your skin but what always stuck with you was Eddie’s face after. He regretted it immediately; not even the drugs could block out that. 

You had turned and left without saying a word, crying in your car as you drove around Hawkins trying to clear your head. What always stuck with you in your journey to healing was that at the time even that wasn’t enough for you to leave. Yes, you left the apartment but you had every intention of coming back. Hell, you did! That’s when things really got worse. 

A sudden knock on your bedroom door startled you but what startled you even more was who was on the other side after you granted them entry. 

“Hey, um, I hope I didn’t wake you up or anything.”, Eddie grumbled as he stepped inside.

“No, no you didn’t.”

An awkward silence hung in the air as his eyes swiveled around the room. Memories clung to everything and the bad ones pierced his heart. 

“Look, uh, I know I don’t have any right to ask you for anything but, um, my therapist has been wanting me to visit the prison to see my father because she thinks it will help me. I don’t see how but… I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night…about accountability and facing my burdens…”

“Why are you telling me this, Ed?”

A heavy exhale escapes his lips as he runs his fingers frustratingly through his hair. 

“Will you come with me to see him?” Eddie’s eyes find yours and you see something within them that you’ve seen a million times before but as he speaks again you realize this is the first time he’s acknowledging it. “I’m scared, Y/N. I don’t think…I don’t know if I can do this alone…”

Sighing yourself, you nod and he smiles before leaving you alone so you can change. 

***

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”, you ask as you both wait at the police station booth for them to bring out his father.

“I honestly can’t remember. I want to say since he went in but I know Wayne visited him a lot and I may have gone with him a time or two.” His knee anxiously jumps as he lights another cigarette, flicking the excess ash into the tray in front of him. “Thank you for coming with me.”

As you flash him a small smile, the door on the other side of the glass bangs open as they bring out his father and place him in front of you both. 

“Edward! Good to see you, kid. I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were like six or seven!”

“No, that’s not right. Mom would have been alive and you went in a year after she died when I was ten.”

“Oh. Well shit. You were always small for your age.”, his father dismisses him as he lights his own cigarette.

You had never seen or met Eddie’s dad but seeing him now was giving you some insight into why the metalhead was the way he was. Eddie was about ten years old when you first met him and Steve. He was always really quiet at first and if his father was the same way then as he was being now, then you understood why. 

“So, how can I help you today, son? I assume you’re here because you need something. A new hook up maybe? Rumors around town say there was a few times you and that Harrington kid almost ended up sharing a cell with me!”, he chuckles. “Why are you hanging out with that preppy asshole anyway? Upper class like the Harringtons don’t give a shit about lower class trash like us.”

It was instinct really; a long-forgotten reflex that had been dormant for three years. You reached out to hold Eddie’s hand as his dad spewed his cruelty. The metalhead didn’t visibly react but your gesture of kindness calmed him.

“I’m not trash and I’m nothing like you.”, he growled. 

“Oh really?” His father folded his arms sarcastically as he leaned forward. “You’re like Wayne now, huh? Work at the plant, call every beautiful piece of ass sweetheart. Hell, you even dress like him now.” He snarkily laughs as he lights a new cigarette. “You can dress and act any way you want to, boy, but no matter what, my genes are still a part of you. You’ll always be…a trash Munson.”

“Half.” His father’s eyes swing towards you. “Half of a Munson but thankfully its mostly the good half. The other half is his mother. They both deserved better than you.”

Blowing smoke towards the window he scoots a little closer to your side. 

“You must be Y/N. You know… you remind me a lot of my wife. She was beautiful, kind, loyal to a fault—”

“Then why did you hurt her?”, Eddie asked.

“Why do you?”, his dad snapped. Eddie knew he meant you and it killed him. “If anything, you’re worse than me because if I had driven home drunk and almost killed your mother she would have left me right then and there!” He glances your way. “You’re weak like him…aren’t you little girl?”

It was your turn to cheekily square your shoulders as you leaned forward so close that if there wasn’t glass in the way your noses would have touched. 

“You say he’s weak but he’s not the one behind bars. He’s sober and coming from a woman who knows what a man on drugs looks like I’m surprised they haven’t figured you out yet. You call him weak but the truth is you are. That’s why you never got better or tried to stay out of jail. That’s why you hurt him and his mom. Because even when he was a kid he was more of a man than you will ever be.” 

Tugging on Eddie’s hand, you pulled him to his feet. 

“Come on. I’m not going to let him keep talking down to you.”

Without a word, he followed you out without even so much as a cursory glance towards his father. 

***

You two sat silently in the driveway of your house. The street was quiet as everyone was still either at work or school. 

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie chuckled as he looked your way. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“Eddie…even at your worst…you were nothing like him.”

His long hair whipped from side to side as he shook his head. 

“Y/N, he may have said a lot of bullshit but he was right about one thing… You were…ARE an amazing woman. Even when we were little I was always afraid that someone was going to take you away. Then as we got older and I got worse…I thought you were going to leave. Y/N, you don’t understand, I believed it so deeply that it was almost like an obsession to catch you hurting me. To prove myself right and you wrong; to villainize you so it wouldn’t hurt so fucking bad.”

His chocolate his shift towards the window as he continues. 

“Jokes on me. It still hurt like a motherfucker when I woke up in the hospital and Steve told me you were gone. Y/N, I am so fucking sorry for what happened that night. I—”

As he turned his head to face you, your lips cut him off. Hearing him talk about his feelings and you the way he was, thrust you back into your old mindset. He was hurting and he needed you. Truth be told you needed him to desperately and that was more than evident when you climbed over the middle console to straddle his lap. 

Eddie’s sober mind was screaming for him to stop, to push you off him because he didn’t want to be responsible for your pain again. But he missed you so much and how could he deny you when it appeared like you were hungry for him to make you feel better to?

Pushing up off his lap, you slid off your pants as he adjusted his seat to lean back so you wouldn’t hit your head on the ceiling. Eddie hastily pushed down his own jeans allowing his cock to spring free before spitting in his hand and stroking it along his length. 

You both groaned as you slowly descended onto him, gripping his shoulders as he took hold of your waist. No one except Steve fit perfectly inside of you like Eddie did. Even as he stretched you out, that familiar feeling of him gliding almost seamlessly through your walls till you felt your lap connect with his was almost too much. 

“Fuck, Eddie.”

He didn’t say a word as you began rolling your hips, his jaw going slack as he absorbed the feeling of you he never thought he would experience again. 

Your hands gripped his neck as you bounced roughly on top of him, his warm breath fanning your face as he panted against your lips. As his eyes locked with yours, you hoped he couldn’t see the tears that threatened to fall. Even though you were angry with them, the truth of the matter was that you still loved them. 

Even though they had hurt you all the time and made your life in the past hell, you still craved them. To you they were the lucky ones. There was a rehab and program for people with their addiction. Where do you go when your addiction is a person you love with all heart and then some? It added to your anger over the past three years and anytime you thought about them it made you furious with yourself. 

“You’re weak just like him…aren’t you little girl?”

Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together when he saw you shake your head and lean against his shoulder as you tried to ride him harder. There was something you were keeping from him but he didn’t dare ask. All he could do was thread his fingers through your hair as he pressed you closer to him while he thrust his hips up to meet yours.

“Everything’s ok, sweetheart.  You’re ok.”, he whispered in your ear. “Fuck—cum, baby, please.”

Pulling your head back, you placed your forehead on his own as your eyes squeezed shut and you came harder than you had in a long time. 

“God damn. C-Can I cum inside you?” Right as you gave him your permission, his hands gripped your sides, guiding your motions as he grunted and you felt him release his seed inside of you. The two of you sat still, your heavy breathing the only sound filling the tiny, enclosed space. 

All of a sudden, you felt like you couldn’t hold it in anymore as you fell against his broad chest and began to sob. Unsure of what to do, he acted on instinct, responding the way he used to after you two would fight and you would cry. 

“Sweetheart…FUCK! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.” He tries to hug you but you shove him away. “Baby, please. Let me make it up to you. Let me hold you.”

As your head hung and your shoulders shook, the last of your resolve faded away and he took the opportunity to lift you in his arms, carrying you to his bed so he could cuddle you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re too good for me, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Eddie…what do I have to do…to show you that I love you both and ONLY you both?”

“Nothing, baby. I know. It’s the blow…Fuck…you deserve better. I swear, I’m never taking another hit. I hated seeing you be afraid of me…”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I think about that night every day. Every time I have a craving or…I just remember the way you looked at me after I…”

“After you what?” You tilted back to look at him as you waited for his answer. When Eddie shifted his gaze away from you, you sarcastically chuckle as you reached over to grab your pants and keys, opening the driver’s side door as you climb out. “That’s ok, Ed. You’ve had enough accountability for one day.”, you hiss as you slam it closed and stomp inside. 

###########

Steve grumbles under his breath as he asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. Eddie had come home that day in a bad mood and slammed his bedroom door before the sound of heavy metal filled his bedroom as he angrily strummed at his guitar. 

He knew he wasn’t going to be getting much sleep tonight and his dad had been on his ass about reports he was “behind” on so Steve figured he could utilize the time to go to his office to get some work done. 

As he turned to leave, he spotted your sad frame in the same booth you were in a few nights before as you sullenly stared out the window. He should have left you alone but he couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach that told him to make sure you were alright. 

“Couldn’t sleep again?”

Steve expected you to be startled by him with how deep in thought you seemed to be but when you half smiled and turned to face him, he couldn’t help but tilt his head. It almost seemed like you were waiting for him; expecting him to show up. 

“Something like that. What about you?”

“Uh, same. I thought I’d go to the office a bit and utilize the energy to get some work done.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at your watch. “At 11 pm?”

“Yeah.”, he laughs. “My dad’s anger and disappointment operate outside of normal timeframes so…” Steve smiles as he raises his cup in your direction. “I’ll, um, leave you to it.”

As he turns to leave, however, he notices you nod and hug you’re your arms around your body. You always used to do that when you were trying keep yourself from falling apart. 

“Steve, seriously, you’re not going to be able to wake up for work tomorrow if you finish that bottle.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. I know my limits ok!? Get off my fucking back!”, he slurs as he heads for the couch. His eyes glance over you as your arms wrap around you. “Honey…I’m okay. Trust me.” You wince at his words. Trust me. If there were two people in the world who couldn’t be trusted, it was them. 

He rolls his eyes as he throws himself down on the sofa. 

“Whatever. Go mother someone else.”

“You absolutely don’t have to but would you like to come hang out with me? We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. You can sit there while I pretend to know what I’m doing.”

You laugh. You actually genuinely laugh and Steve feels like an arrow pierced his chest. God, he missed that sound. 

***

“Uh, just ignore the mess here.”, he mumbles as shuffles some papers aside and slides a chair over for you to sit in. Before he can hide it, your eyes notice the picture of you three on his desk. “Yeah, let me just move that—”

“It’s ok. You can leave it there.” He nods as he begins to focus on things in front of him. “How much of that day do you remember?”

Steve smirks as he pretends to write on the documents in front of him. 

“It’s one of the few days I actually do from beginning to end. Probably because the amusement park at the time didn’t allow alcohol and they confiscated my flask.”, he laughs but there’s a sadness behind it. “We took you there for your birthday and I don’t think you stopped smiling once.”

“Steve, do you really blame Eddie for everything?”

The man sighed at your abrupt question as he leaned back in his chair. “For everything? No. For you leaving? Yes. Y/N, I almost fucking killed him when I found out he put his hands on you.”

“What the fuck did you do, Edward Munson?!”

“I-I-I—”

“She just ran past me in the hallway and sped off when I tried to stop her. WHAT. HAPPENED?!”

“Steve, I didn’t mean to…I-I-I got so mad…”

Steve angrily grabbed his collar and yanked him up till his face was level with his. “Did you touch her? Did you fucking hit her, EDDIE!?”

Something in the metalhead’s eyes changed as he shoved his friend backwards off of him. 

“Don’t act like your God’s gift to boyfriends, Steven! Let’s not forget YOU almost fucking killed her!” Eddie marched into the bedroom and slammed the door while Steve furiously punched the wall before heading to the fridge to grab a beer.

“Him popping me isn’t why I left. When I drove off after you chased me, I had always planned on coming back…” You looked away as you tried to shake the memory. “Why do you work here? I figure with you trying to be sober this would be the worst place for you to be.”

“You would figure correctly.”, he exhales as he looks around. “Uh, after I turned myself in, no one wanted to hire me. I was too much of a liability so my dad gave me this wonderful slice of heaven.” You smile at his sarcasm. “Every day is hard but I’m doing the work. The group therapy helps as well as my amends.”

“Did you father ever participate in that?”

“Pfft, no. My father hasn’t changed, Y/N. If anything, he’s worse and makes sure to remind me every day that I’m a fuck up to our name.”

“You were never a fuck up, Steve.”

His honey eyes scan you over before he beams in your direction and flashes you some of his paperwork. “I don’t know. Have you ever tried going through this bullshit? It’s so mind numbing you may accidently fuck up!”

As he continues to work, he walks you through what he’s supposed to do and exactly how his dad wants it done. Steve can’t help but revel in this feeling of you being so close to him again and helping him. 

When he first met you in elementary, you were always so kind to him and Eddie. Sometimes he would come to school and the teacher would snap at him because he didn’t do his homework the night before. When you asked him about it, he would tell you that he didn’t understand the material and his father wouldn’t help him. 

“He says I’m stupid and I should know all this stuff by now.”

“Steve, you’re not stupid. How are you supposed to know it when we just learned it?”

From that point forward, both boys came over to your house to study and have you walk them through the material. Eddie said you always made it easy. As they got older though, Steve skated by on his popularity while Eddie settled with doing the bare minimum. They thought you didn’t know but you were highly aware that they would copy your answers on assignments all the time. 

When Steve had started drinking, he always smelled heavily like whatever was in his flask at the time so as he got worse it was harder and harder for you to be around him. He hated seeing you cringe every time he pulled you to his side. 

Now that he was sober, he smelled like a mix of cologne and the office space he worked in with a hint of his roommate’s cigarette smoke that you imagine constantly hung in the air. 

“Ok, let me put these on his desk and then I can walk with you back to our cars.”

You followed him to his father’s office, giggling under your breath at the obnoxiousness of it. It was way too big for one man and had a massive swanky office chair to match his comically large desk. On the walls, he had awards hung along with pictures of him with clients. 

“No pictures of you or your mom?”

“Oh, my mom made the shelf.”, he answers sassily as he points towards the bookshelf beside him. “Not too many though, just in case the newest side piece comes to visit.”

You come to his side as your eyes search through the photos.

“Where are you?”

“No, no, honey. I don’t get a photo. I’m the Harrington that crashed a car and almost killed a young girl. Can’t really make small talk about that when his associates come by.”

“Steve…”

“I mean, it’s fine.” He shoves his hands in his pockets as he looks towards his feet. “He’s right. I’m an embarrassment. I left the woman I love to bleed out in an accident that I caused because I was too fucking drunk to see straight.” With his hand, he gestures around the office. “I deserve this.”

Once more, instinct takes over logic as you tilt up on your toes and crane your neck to find his lips. It so odd tasting him now that his mouth and breath weren’t basted in bourbon or beer. The best way to describe his new taste is what could have been. The life you three could have had if he and Eddie had never found their vices. 

When you start to pull away his palms quickly cup your face bringing you back to him. His kisses came quick and passionate as he backed you towards his father’s desk, lifting you up, and placing you onto it. Rising your hips, you allowed him to remove your sweats and panties as you reached forward to fumble with his belt. 

When his cock sprang free, you wasted no time as you spit into your hand and massaged it into your cunt before he guided himself into you sex. 

Steve grunted at the feeling of you tightly clinging to him again, doing everything he could to not just cum right now. He was completely lost in you as he reached behind your back and shoved everything on to the floor without a second thought. 

You promptly laid down flat and he followed you, his mouth clinging to your neck as he thrust his hips against yours. 

“S-Steve…Oh my god…”, you whimpered as you ran your nails through his hair and under his shirt. It had been so long since he made anyone feel good in anyway. His parents hated him, people in town always side eyed him, and Eddie was just as miserable as he was. Hearing you moan his name in pleasure, drove him wild as he hoisted you further up the desk and fully climbed on top of you. 

The desk jostled underneath as Steve rolled his hips, practically punching the air out of your lungs as his fingers tangled in your hair. 

“F-Fuck, I’m gonna…”

Your pussy tightened around him as the coil in your tummy snapped and he mewled as your nails clawed at his skin. His head shot up to look in your eyes and you nodded at the unspoken question within them.

Steve’s lips connect with yours and after a few more rough thrusts he spills inside of you. 

“Are…are you ok?”, he asks as he leans up on his elbows. When you nod, he softly smiles as he brushes away some hair in front of your face. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry for the accident, for abandoning you, my behavior when I was drunk.”

“What about the behavior, Steve? How much of it do you really remember?”

“I remember screaming at you a lot and calling you names. I called you a whore more than once—”

“Even though you cheated on me.”

Steve’s jaw tightened as he gradually pulled out of you and sat in his father’s chair, handing you your clothes that had been tossed onto the floor. 

“I was a fucking prick.”

“How much of the night of the accident do you remember?”

“I remember the car flipping and Eddie pulling my arm, telling me to run—”

“What about the night he ODed?”

“I-I…he…he hurt you and then tried to block it out by snorting his drug…”

“And where were you?” You chuckle when he looks at you with a bewildered look on his face. “He’s right, you know. You are just as much to blame for me leaving as he is. You can’t make amends, Steve, if you keep blaming Eddie for everything.”

###############

Without an invitation, your mother barged into the boy’s apartment as soon as Steve opened the door to her knock. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N? Is everything alright?”

She didn’t answer as she opened Eddie’s door without knocking. 

“Hey! The fuck?” The metalhead quickly rose to his feet following her out into the living room. 

Steve tried to grab her arm to get her attention and she promptly turned around, allowing her palm to connect with his cheek.

“Where is she? What did you two do?!”

“Where is who? What is going on?”, Eddie asked completely confused. 

“My daughter didn’t come home last night and we can’t find her anywhere! I lost my baby for 3 years because of you two! Now if you know where she is tell me NOW!”

“We swear, Mrs. Y/L/N. If we knew we would tell you.”

She shakes her head as she marches towards the door before pausing and turning to face them. 

“If I had known what was really going on at the time, I never would have let you both into my house or near my daughter. If I had known that you were the reasons her self esteem was so low…the real reason she cried so much…the reason why you almost took her away from me forever!”, she roared as she pointed at Steve. “I would have killed you two myself. I shouldn’t have convinced her to come back. You both are a poison.”

With that she left them, slamming their front door for emphasis. Steve slowly heads into his room and grabs his car keys as he lightly tugs Eddie’s sleeve.

“Come on. I think I know where she might be.”

***

“I’m sorry, Munson.”

The metalhead tossed the butt of his cigarette out into the passing street as he rolled up the window. 

“No reason for you to be.”

“No, no. You were right. I’m as much a reason for how things ended up as you are. I just… the hardest thing for me is trying to figure out why all this happened. When Y/N breaks she says the same thing, ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’. I ask myself that all the time but struggle with the truth…so I blamed you.”

“She came with me the other day to see Allen. He insinuated it was in my genes. I’m meant to be a fuck up who hurts her.” He smiles softly as he continues. “She said I had more of Wayne and my mother’s genes.” They both lightly chuckle as Eddie fiddles with the ring on his finger. “Truth is, Harrington, I think we let our father’s win. Like she said, we spent our entire lives being afraid to become them that we became the very things were afraid of.”

“I was terrified to face the things we did to her. I was terrified…of knowing and accepting that I made her feel the way my dad made me feel growing up.”

“Yeah, man. Me to. That’s…that’s why what happened that night happened. There wasn’t enough blow in the world to numb the pain of me physically hurting her, Steve.”

***

When they pulled up to the elementary school, you were sitting on one of the swings with your head against the chain. This is where they first met you, on the playground when they were kids. As they walked towards you, you didn’t move or make indication to acknowledge their presences.

Steve stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he smelled it, whiskey. 

“Y/N, sweetheart? Are you alright? Your mom said you didn’t come home last night.”

As he knelt down to your level, Eddie noticed the ring of redness around your nose and the dilation in your eyes. 

“You two aren’t supposed to be here.”, you slurred. 

“Neither are you, honey. Come-Come on, we need to get you home.”

As Steve finally stepped closer, you held up your foot to stop him and pushed Eddie backwards. 

“You know, the alcohol I kinda got but with the drugs…watching what it did to you, Ed, I was like…why would he do this…it can’t be that great… After trying it myself… Hehe…I feel nothing.”, you giggle.

“Baby…”

“Usually when I get sad… I just cry it out…maybe fuck some sexy guy but do you know what’s really kept me going for three years? Knowing…that you two…are suffering without me.” Your finger raises to point at them shakily as your glassy eyes glare their way. “You say every day is hard? Good. It should be. Every day you…drag your asses out of bed…drudge to your work and put on that fake smile…I hope it’s hard. I did it for 7 years… You should be sad. Neither one of you deserved me.”

Without saying a word, they both turned and headed back to the car. Thirty minutes later, your mother pulled up to the playground and brought you back home. After laying you down in your bed, she crawled in beside you and held you as you cried.

###############

“Y/N, thank you for coming back to do this. I really appreciate you taking the time and I know they do as well.” 

You nodded at the doctor’s words as you continued to stare into the floor at their shoes. Steve had his hand over his mouth as he stared out the window while Eddie looked towards the door with his arms folded across his chest. 

“So, um, I was thinking we could start with—”

“I couldn’t wake either of you up.”, you interjected as you continued to look at the carpet. “I came home and Eddie was on the floor by his bed. He…he didn’t respond to me so I ran to Steve, fucking shaking him and practically pulling him off the sofa but… I rode in the ambulance with him and I watched them…” A tear falls and you quickly wipe it away. “I sat by your side, Ed, and waited for hours till doctors told me you were going to be ok.”

“I kept thinking ‘What the fuck am I doing? They abandoned me and left me alone in a hospital for months. I shouldn’t be here…but I can’t leave him. I love them.’ That’s when I knew I needed to leave. I could never be like you even though it’s what you deserved. I couldn’t keep…loving you when I knew if the tables were turned…you would have left me on the bedroom floor.” Your voice cracked at your last sentence and when you finally managed to look their way both men were trying to hide tears of their own as they continued to look in opposite directions. 

The doctor clears his throat as he nervously rubs his palm along his knee. 

“Guys? Any response?”

“She’s right.”, Steve mumbled. “We would have left her there. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I would have left Eddie there. I was so drunk I didn’t even know. I never thought he would…overdo it like that.”

“Me either.”, Eddie followed. “But I never thought I’d hit her either.”

His eyes find yours as you sniffle, grateful to finally hear him say and admit it. He was finally taking accountability. 

“Sweetheart, you always ask why you were never enough but the truth is…”

“…Baby, we weren’t good enough for you. You deserved so much better.”

You broke then, covering your eyes as you cried. The atmosphere shifted in front of you, feeling fingers delicately grip your wrist and bring your hands back down to your lap. 

“Can I hug you?”

You tackled your arms around Eddie’s neck as he lifted you from the chair and held you tightly to him. Warmth abruptly encased you as Steve hugged you both, one arm wrapped around your stomach as his other rested on his friend’s shoulders. 

***

“Hey, sweetie. How was it?”, your mom asked as you walked through the door after the session.

“It was good.”

Her eyes scanned you worriedly at your timid response. “Are you ok, Y/N?”

“Yeah, mom. It was just a heavy day. I’m going to go lay down ok?”

“Ok, baby. Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“Maybe later.”

As soon as your head hit the pillow on your bed, you crashed. For 10 years, you had carried everything that was theirs making it your own. Even after you left, you held on to their burdens even though you no longer had to pay for them. Hearing them say what they said and seeing the truth in their eyes was like a weight had been lifted.

They truly wanted to get better and hopefully now they could really move forward instead of being stagnate. As you drove home, you couldn’t help but feel utterly alone. Who were you without them needing you? Even in these past three years, you were still searching for who you were as an individual but they were always in the back of your mind. Maybe they always would be. That made you feel even more lonely because all you knew was their toxic sides. Who were they now?

You were still asleep when the breeze from the open window gave you a chill that ran up your spine. It suddenly stopped as you stirred at the soft sound of it closing before being followed by what sounded like shoes quietly hitting the floor. 

You sighed at the smell of cologne and cigarettes that filled your room reminding you of many naughty nights when you were younger. 

“Steve!”, you hiss. “You can’t…can’t…fuck…”

“Can’t what, honey?”, he slurred. “Oh, you mean this?”

You quickly covered your mouth as he slammed his hips roughly into yours, hitting that sensitive spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling. 

“You have to be quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want to wake up mommy and daddy.”

You bite into your pillow as Eddie’s hand came around to press circles into your clit.

“Shhh, sweetheart. I know, I know it feels good. You can take it, pretty girl. Cum again for me, baby.”

Shouting into your pillow you do as he commands as he pounds into you harder till you feel him warm your insides. You whine at the overstimulation as he leans over your sweaty frame to grab the drugs he left lying on your bed side table.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not done just yet.”

You bed dipped on either side of you and once again you were encased in warmth as an arm circled around you from behind and a palm rested on your cheek. Your own limbs reached out pulling him as close to you as you could making both men groan as you began subtly grinding your hips between them. 

Soft lips landed on yours and the strong taste of coffee told you it was Steve, further proved when your fingers ran through his hair. As you turned to find Eddie, the other boy’s kisses gently trailed down your jaw line to your neck. Every single kiss and touch was delicate as if they were afraid you’d shatter like glass. 

“Y/N, open your eyes, honey.”

“Please.”, Eddie begged when you shook your head.

When you did what they ask, you were met with Steve’s smiling face. “So beautiful. Can we take off your clothes?”

You nod as you shift on to your back, allowing each boy to undress you until you were naked before them. Steve couldn’t help but run his fingers over the scar on your stomach. You were always self-conscious about it especially when God forbid your shirt would ride up or you would be intimate with a man and someone would ask what happened. He didn’t need to ask. He already knew and it killed him every time he saw it. Before you left, after he would fuck you, Steve would slunk to the kitchen to grab the strongest drink he could find to block out the memory.  Now, he lingered, letting his lips trace over the tissue as your fingers tenderly petted his head.

Eddie removed his clothing, pausing when your eyes noticed a new tattoo on his chest above his heart. 

“Never tell me the odds.

August 1988—”

“From Star Wars…the three of us saw that on our first official date and this is when I became sober.”

Tilting your head, he pleasantly sighed when your lips tenderly kissed along the ink on his chest.

“Just lay back, baby. We got you.”

The metalhead’s tongue pressed against your skin and slid down to meet his friend halfway as they both gripped each of your thighs to hold you open wider for them. While Steve’s mouth wrapped around your clit, Eddie’s tongue continued to taste your body, darting in and out of you entrance making you whimper. 

Their hands continued to roam until the metalhead took over so the other boy could remove his clothes as well. When he climbed back into your bed his hand petted your head as he attached his lips to your neck, sucking on your flesh, and making you moan as your pussy clenched around Eddie’s tongue.

Your fingers pressed his face deeper into you and his hands dug into your hips as he devoured you until your body trembled, clinging to them both as you came.

As if they expected everything to be the same, Steve turned to reach in the drawer by your bed and produced a bottle of lube that he passed to his friend. His palms cupped your face as he kissed your forehead. 

“Freshman year my dad gave me the grown man speech. ‘Son, you’re starting high school. Time to grow up and buckle down! Your life starts now.’ He then proceeded to fuck his secretary in his office since my mom was out of town. He said MY life started now but I know he meant HIS life…how he pictured it for me being just like him. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey from our bar and hid upstairs. That was my first drink.”

He lifted your leg over his hip and you both groaned as he guided himself inside of you. Steve kissed your chin down your jawline as your head tilted back when you felt Eddie rubbing the lube between your cheeks. 

“I was in town that summer before freshman year hanging out with Rick and getting some food. I tripped over something and fell against a car making the alarm blare. This woman came out and yelled at us threatening to call the cops. Rick tried to explain what happened but she didn’t care. ‘Like father like son!’. I couldn’t stop thinking about her reaction and the weed wasn’t helping… that was the first time I tried the harder drugs.”

His mouth fell open as he slowly slid his cock into your ass, gripping your waist as he kissed your shoulder blade.

You pulled them both as close to you as you could get them as they both started thrusting into you. 

“I-I loved you since the moment…I met you two.” After kissing his lips, Steve panted against yours as he mewled and his eyebrows scrunched together in focus. “You were so sweet, Steve. I-I—fuck—I fell off the jungle gym…and you ran to me…helped me.”

Eddie’s arms squeezed you tighter to his chest as you turned to kiss him, pressing your forehead against his cheek as he moaned.

“You…you made me laugh, Eddie. W-When we came to the swings—mmm—you kept telling me jokes to make me…smile.”

They both pumped into you faster and you held them both as your eyes closed. 

“You helped me…I never stopped trying to help you.”

Steve lopped his arm under knee, holding your leg up higher against his body to allow them to hit you in different angles as you turned to press your face into your pillow. You shook in their hands as you came.

Eddie gripped your bicep and grunted in your ear as he rolled his hips till you felt him warm your insides. Steve soon followed, groaning as he used your thigh for leverage and pounded into you till he coated your walls with his release.

They gradually pulled out of you and the metalhead used the glass of water by your bed to wet the hand towel he found in your closet to gently clean your lower half. Neither of you wanted to risk sneaking to your bathroom and being discovered by one of your parents. 

“I’m sorry for ruining holidays and anniversaries because I was too drunk to care or even act right. I’m sorry for snapping at you and screaming at you for every little thing especially when you were trying to help.” Steve’s fingers brush your hair away from your face as his thumb caressed your cheek. “I’m sorry for cheating on you. The alcohol made me believe that you would do it to. I’m sorry for what happened with Glen. I couldn’t accept you being happy with anyone who wasn’t us.”

“I’m sorry for the accident. Y/N, I never should have gotten behind that wheel and I never should have left you, honey.” His voice cracked and your heart broke as you wrapped your arm around his waist. “I’m so fucking sorry for leaving you alone afterwards. I was so fucking scared because I knew it was my fault. I chose to stay home and drink instead of seeing what I had done to you. I’m sorry for being so wasted you couldn’t wake me up when you needed me. I was so fucking angry at Eddie…at the situation…I’ve never learned how to handle emotions like that… fuck…even now. I don’t know how to tell my dad to fuck off.”

His glassy eyes meet yours as he firmly holds your head in his hands. 

“I am sorry, Y/N. None of what happened was your fault. You did nothing wrong to instigate any of our behavior.” Steve pulled you to his chest as you both sobbed. 

Eddie waited patiently as he watched everything front of him. When you rolled over to face him, his friend extended him the same courtesy as the metalhead reached out to wipe your eyes. 

“Sweetheart, to me you were always perfect. Since the day we met you, you had this light inside  that just radiated from you. I spent the first part of my life in darkness and when my mom died…I thought I’d never be happy again…then you came along. Y/N, I was so terrified something was going to happen or someone was going to take you from me; from us. The drugs made me believe that by degrading you or fighting any man that even looked at you…it would help keep you here.”

“I’m sorry for calling you names and throwing things at you when I was angry because the blow just amplified those fears. It made me feel helpless. I’m sorry for frightening you and making you cry all the time with broken promises because I just…couldn’t quit.”

“I’m sorry about Glen. Because of what I said while I was high he left you and broke your heart even more. I’m sorry about abandoning you…at the accident. Steve was right, it was my idea. I had so much drugs in my pocket, when I heard the sirens I thought about myself instead of you. I didn’t want to end up in jail like my father…”

Eddie’s jaw tightened as you watched him struggle to continue. Placing your arm on his hip, you leaned in to kiss his lips hoping to comfort him. 

“I’m sorry I hit you, Y/N.”, he whispered. “I so fucking stoned…I didn’t even… I should have run after you. I should have waited for you to come back home and groveled at your feet. I should have made a plan then and there to get clean. All I kept thinking about was your face and how you looked at me; the way my mom used to look at my dad after he’d hurt her. I just wanted to erase it. I couldn’t handle being like him. I’m sorry you had to find me like that and I’m so fucking sorry you had to handle that on your own. I’m so sorry.”

He held you as you cried and after a while Steve’s arm circled around you as Eddie continued petting your hair while your eyes slowly began to close. 

“I forgive you.”

***

The sun gleaming through your window woke you up the next morning and you groaned as you stirred from your sleep. As you opened your eyes, you quickly realized you were alone, your eyes scanning the area till you notice a note on your nightstand with your name.

“Y/N,

We both have so much more we want to say but we are nowhere near ready to express them the way we want to. We meant what we said in therapy…you always deserved better than us. More importantly, you deserved to be happy. 

While you were sleeping, we talked about a lot of things and we realized that while the three of us are doing so much better we still have a way to go. I’m quitting my job with my dad today and finally figuring out who I am. You inspired me to travel and do some soul searching on my own. 

I’m taking some time off work and touring with the guys. I spent most of my life either being afraid of my dad or becoming him. Princess, you showed me it’s ok to just be Eddie Munson. I want to do something that would make my mom proud. 

We wanted to wake you up and tell you this but we knew as soon as those beautiful eyes met ours we’d talk ourselves out of leaving. Truth is, honey, you still have some healing to do to.

You said you were still trying to figure out who you were without us. Maybe now, pretty girl, you can let go and finally be free. 

In two years, Eddie and I will have been sober for 5 years total and we’d love to celebrate that with you. Meet us at the diner August 1993. If you don’t show up, we’ll understand. If you’re married with kids, we’d love to hear about them. No matter what, we love you and we just want you to be happy. 

Steve & Eddie

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1993

Eddie showed up an hour early, bouncing his leg as he flicked his ash into the tray. The man breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a BMW pull into the parking lot and hastily stood up from the table to meet Steve halfway as he gave his friend a hug. 

“Hey Harrington. Jesus, you look good.”

“Thanks, Ed. So do you, man. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. A few months ago, we signed with a label so the guys and I have just been recording 24/7.”

“No way! That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, thank you. What about you?”

“I’m doing ok. My dad cut me off after I left so I’ve actually been doing some odd jobs while traveling. About a year ago, I settled a bit up north and got my certification to be a counselor for people struggling with addiction.”

“Well look at you.”, Eddie chuckled.

The sound of a throat clearing got their attention and they both turned to see you standing before them with the biggest smile they had ever seen on your beautiful face. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around Eddie’s neck as held you to him.

“God, sweetheart, you look so beautiful.”

You turned to Steve who lifted you off your feet. “Me? Look at you two. I never would have imagined…”

The three of you scooted into the booth talking well into the evening about everything these past two years held. For the first time, no one was angry, sad, or heartbroken. For the first time since you met them, they seemed content and at peace. For that you were extremely grateful. 

##############

@sheisjoeschateau

@peachy-bunnns

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