#but in context of the entirety of the show it's the gift that keeps giving

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

There were more than a couple of shows ending this week. And when that happens I go to my mdl page and click that box that says completed.

Sometimes it's with the feeling of "finally,it's over", and sometimes just that little action makes a bit sad. Playboyy is in the first category, I will not elaborate. I will just say a few words about the shows that this week are part of the second category.

I ticked that box twice yesterday and once just an hour ago. My heart is full, the joy is overwhelming and the bit of sadness that comes from the end of something I love has settled a bit (not really but let's pretend).

Perfect Propose was a gift. I didn't see it coming, and I was hooked from the first minute. Even with the shorter running time, Kai already occupies a special place in my heart and will join others as one of my favourite bl characters of all time. I don't think it's any secret for anyone that follows me that jbl has a special place in my heart. Maybe because it was my first, or maybe just because it's better my taste. But in 6 short episodes we got to see these characters confront their own issues and grow into themselves and each other, and still managed to have a story that incorporated workplace criticism without detracting from the love story which is super impressive. I wanted more because I could keep watching them but it felt complete.

Ossan's Love Returns was another surprise. Because I wasn't planning on watching. Mostly because I thought it wouldn't be my thing (crazy talk) and also because I would have to go back and watch everything that came before. But then, @twig-tea, as usual being the voice of reason, told me to just watch this season. And, not that they are on the same level in my heart, but this show filled a little bit of the hole left by WDYEY. It wasn't a perfect season. And I liked some characters more than others but in the end, this family had me in tears. This episode was beautiful. The speeches for Haruta got me so emotional, and then the cherry blossoms and the last fight between Maki and Kurosawa ending with the "We are family" left me with tears in my eyes that came back today as I was giffing it. It's amazing to me that this show has the success that it does and it gives me hope that we might get more stories like this. (Would also like to take a moment to thank @isaksbestpillow for subbing the episodes and giving us more cultural context so we can fully appreciate this show)

I LOVE cherry magic. All of it. I love the manga, I love the japanese version, the thai version and the anime version. Give me all of it. Forever. And so I was cautiously optimistic about this one. Optimistic because I really like Tay/New, cautious because in my brain I could only see how they could ruin one of my favourite stories. I didn't have to be. This was wonderful. I really wanna re-read the manga in its entirety because I wanna see how it compares now that it's over. Not to criticize it or be able to spot what they got wrong but to appreciate the changes they made and why it worked so well. Because the things that I noticed were really well done.

Not to repeat myself but... I LOVE Kurosawa/Karan. All the versions. I need more of him. I think from the main four, he's the one, that I notice changes more from version to version. And I love them all. I mean, Tay Tawan is a beautiful human. And his Karan had me practically swooning on a weekly basis. And I'm not a swooner. I loved New as Adachi, I think he embodied the character really well and I thoroughly enjoyed all his facial expressions. I loved this version of Minato and Tsuge more than the japanese version. I think it was more fleshed out and more balanced and obviously it was helped by the longer runtime. Even Pai and Rock had my heart by the end. It was so good.

_

I need more shows like the ones above and I'll be waiting for the next one that consumes me. In the mean time, I guess I'm gonna go watch some kids being awful to each other. Balance is good. 💜

#rose rambles #perfect propose #ossan's love returns #cherry magic th #rose is happy

[ironborealis]

I've never read the entirety of Metamorphoses by Ovid, but my library had a newer translation by Charles Martin available and I decided to check it out, especially because I've always enjoyed the motif that Ovid uses of telling the story of Persephone's abduction within the context of the Muses recounting how they won the equivalent of a poetry slam to Minerva/Athena -- losers get turned into magpies.

Martin does an excellent job of explaining his choices in the foreword, and providing context about a lot of the subtext we miss not reading this and other classics in their original latin. Metamorphoses is an entirely different style than Ovid was known for -- it's actually a style that he openly rejected for being too serious earlier in his career. The works he was most famous for at the time we're basically documenting his own affair with a married woman and a book on how to seduce women. He parodies Virgil's Ænead (one of the most popular poets of his day). He's writing this while in exile by Octavian for being an adulterer and another sin unknown. Metamorphoses is not only represents a change in Ovid's style, it also may be a criticism of Augustus' rise to power and a pancea to his contemporary readers that things are always changing and Augustus won't stay forever.

I've really barely started but I decided to skip to book 5, where the story of The Rape of Proserpine is told.

The Rape of Proserpine is told within the context of the Muses telling Minerva/Athena about the epic poetry slam that they recently won. I was so pleased to see Martin lean HARD into that angle and make it as utterly ridiculous as it seems.

Here is how Martin translates the daughters of Pierus' challenge to the Muses:

"We'll show you girls just what real class is

Give up tryin' to deceive the masses

Your rhymes are fake: accept our wager

Learn which of us is minor and which is major

There's nine of us here and there's nine of you

And you'll be nowhere long before we're through

Nothin's gonna save you 'cuz your songs are lame

[...] So take the wings off, sisters, get down and jam

And let the nymphs be the judges of our poetry slam!"

As a millennial this reads as some deliberately cringy modernization that is just *chef's kiss*.

The Muses have no choice but to agree because while they're obviously better than this, they can't let these girls keep talking shit either.

Pierus' daughters perform their song that basically drags Jove/Zeus, Apollo, Diana/Artemis, Venus/Aphrodite, and Mercury/Hermes for being cowards during the war between the gods and the giants.

The Muses select Calliope (future mother of Orpheus) to lead their response, and she chooses The Rape of Proserpine/Persephone as her subject.

What strikes me about this translation compared to other versions that I've read is this:

Jove/Zeus is credited with creating the four seasons - not Ceres/Demeter.

Much like the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, Calliope dedicates it to Ceres/Demeter at the beginning. Likely a deliberate choice on Ovid's part. "Every gift comes from Ceres. [...] Would that I could sing a hymn that is worthy of her, for she surely deserves it."

Cyane doesn't turn into a fountain out of grief only for failing to stop Proserpine's abduction, but because Dis/Hades smashes her fountain in order to re-enter the Underworld -- it's a personal insult. Ovid dedicates time to describe how and why Cyane turns into water physically.

Only one goddess, Aurora (bringer of dawn), and Hesperus (the evening star) are mentioned as noted as observing Ceres/Demeter's search for her daughter (opposed to Helios and Hecate in the Homeric version).

When Ceres/Demeter finds Cyane, Cyane is unable to tell her what happened, but gives her Proserpine/Persephone girdle (belt) that fell off during her abduction. Ceres/Demeter realizes her daughter has been taken underground, and lashes out at the earth itself for the disappearance of Proserpine/Persephone, but not by creating winter. She smashes every plow (which Calliope says she gave to humanity), killed farmers and cattle, blighted the seeds already planted with too much heat, too much rain, and birds to eat them. She encourages other inedible plants to overtake the fields.

Arethusa, a nymph, eventually comes and begs Ceres/Demeter to stop hurting the land and reveals that while she was traveling the underground Stygian River, she saw Proserpine/Persephone "grief and terror still to be seen in her features, yet she was nonetheless queen of that shadowy kingdom, the all-powerful consort of the underworld's ruler".

Ceres/Demeter is "petrified" by the revelation -- until this point she doesn't seem to have connected Dis/Hades with her daughter's abduction. Finally her "outrage" drives off her "madness" and she storms up to Olympus and confronts Jove/Zeus:

"Jupiter (Zeus), I have come here as suppliant, speaking for my child -- and yours: if you have no regard for her mother, relent as her father -- don't hold her unworthy, I beg you, simply because I am the child's other parent!"

Raw. She tells Jove/Zeus that she knows where Proserpine/Persephone is, but:

"Her theft could be borne -- if only he would return her! Then let him do it, for surely Jove's daughter is worthy of a mate who's no brigand, even if my daughter isn't."

In Ovid's version of this story, Jove/Zeus doesn't engineer the marriage of Proserpine to Dis -- the abduction happens because Venus/Aphrodite is eager to expand her influence to the underworld AND because she's offended that Proserpine wants to "take leave of me" by remaining a virgin. She asks Cupid/Eros to shoot Dis/Hades in order to advance their dominance by "joining her (Proserpine/Persephone) to her uncle!"

Jove/Zeus acknowledges that while Dis/Hades' actions "were lacking" by not asking for Ceres/Demeter's permission, he doesn't think that Dis/Hades' is necessarily a bad husband for their daughter. He will part the couple as Ceres/Demeter desires, but only if she hasn't "touched food, for so the Fate have required."

"He spoke and Ceres was sure she would get back her daughter, but the Fates were not, for the girl had already placated her hunger while guilelessly roaming death's formal gardens..."

In this version, Proserpine/Persephone eats the pomegranate out of ignorance, not because of any trickery on Dis/Hades' part. Also, things apparently do grow in the Underworld, because beyond the mentioned garden, there's also a forest.

Proserpine/Persephone might have gotten away with eating the fruit, but of course, Ascalaphus saw her and ratted her out.

In other versions I've read, it's Ceres/Demeter who turns him into an owl, but in Martin's translation it's Proserpine/Persephone who curses him in a rage. "...a filthy bird he's become, the grim announcer of mourning, a slothful portent of evil to mortals".

Then, interestingly, Martin subtitles the next stanza "Proserpina Transformed":

"But poised between his sorrowing sister and brother, great Jove divided the year into two equal portion."

Here Dis/Hades' grief at potentially losing Proserpine/Persephone forever is being given equal weight to Ceres/Demeter's, and so Jove/Zeus decides that Proserpine/Persephone will spend half the year with her mother and the other with her husband.

What follows is unique, I think, because it actually focuses on Proserpine/Persephone's reaction:

"She changed her mind then, and changed her expression to match it,

And now her fair face, which even Dis found depressing,

Beams as the sun does, when, after having been hidden before in dark clouds, at last it emerges in triumph."

Proserpine/Persephone was furious at being forced to stay in the Underworld year round, but consciously decides to accept and be pleased with the idea of splitting her time between her husband and mother. It's better than nothing, it seems. Also, note that Dis/Hades seemed to be aware that Proserpine/Persephone was unhappy prior to this, as her former expression "even Dis found depressing".

He certainly loves Proserpine/Persephone since he and Ceres/Demeter's sorrow are seen as equivalent by Ovid and Jove. It would seem natural that if he loved her he might let her go seeing as she is so unhappy with him. He doesn't know she ate the pomegranate and is permanently tied to the Underworld. However, one of his primary duties is to keep Underworld beings in the Underworld. Letting her go goes against his very nature. The only reason Venus and Cupid are able to get the drop on him in the beginning of the story is because he's checking the volcano where Typhoeus is trapped for cracks in the earth that will let daylight into the Underworld and frighten "the trembling phantoms".

I'm also kind of fascinated that thus far no one seems to be aware that it's Venus / Aphrodite behind this whole boondoggle.

#ovid's metamorphoses #proserpina #hades #persephone #Greek mythology #roman mythology #Charles Martin translation #Ceres #Demeter

[itsytinyspiders]

(Part 10)

The murder of the Moriarty’s then leads to William giving his rallying speech before the play on the Noahtic.

Quite fitting, given that he is planning the murder of another aristocrat, and for the same underlying reason he committed his first at that.

This light in the back is absolutely perfect for William.

Do we need William as a holy figure? Turn on the light!

Do we need William metaphorically burning London down? Turn on the light!

There’s probably something that can be said of the same light shining on William despite the vastly different contexts. I imagine the line goes that all who are touched by the light are destined for greatness (and that while the Lord of Crime will do terrible things, it is the same for him).

(And cut to intermission!)

We immediately resume William’s briefing session. As William explains how he intends to move people’s hearts with death, each character who is being convinced by his argument is approached by a dancer in white holding a candle.

As William holds a candle from the beginning of this scene, I see this as William lighting a small flame in each of his comrades.

Louis gets Albert’s “London will become a theater…” line (with much approval from me!)

I really do appreciate how the production puts more spotlight on Louis, especially since he wasn’t part of this plan in the manga or the anime.

I love this shot with (the yet unintroduced) Sherlock looming behind the Lord of Crime gang.

Each member of the group holds a candle, which they will use to light the way to a better future. They are also shrouded in light, as this is the first time they all gathered together onstage. Yet Sherlock’s presence makes it clear that their path will not be without obstacles, even if they do not yet know which shape that obstacle will take.

Not William already planning out the hero’s role before he’s met Sherlock!

(Also, Sherlock looks so unimpressed by William’s theatrics even though he’s not actually here, and this is just William’s imagination.)

The Scandal in the British Empire

Welp, looks like we actually skipped the entirety of the Noahtic arc. We might revisit it since there’s over an hour left and each arc so far has been 10 to 30 minutes. At the very least, I’m expecting them to include Sherlock and William’s first meeting.

In any case, onto a Scandal in the British Empire!

This is an interesting way of showing when Sherlock is making a deduction. The subject of the deduction is shrouded in green light - a colour they haven't used yet - while Sherlock gets a hard spotlight, as the one making the deduction.

(Mycroft attacking John without so much as a by-your-leave.)

I’m starting to suspect that they’re really letting Albert and Mycroft go all ham during the stage play. William and Sherlock got to have their fun in the original, so now it’s their big brothers’ turn!

Look at this goofy ass man! #myMycroft

Going back a bit, I absolutely love how they changed the lighting to red and started playing a mournful violin melody after Sherlock got shot. Even John, running towards Sherlock as if it was the greatest death scene of this play…

Only for Sherlock to get up and shout in pain.

This smug, smug man. He did not need to adjust his suit-jacket after putting back his gun!

Another silly Mycroft pic, as he explains how he could tell that Watson was putting on weight.

I can’t believe they actually put a spotlight on the shoes with accompanying *sparkle* sound effects.

This whole scene is the gift that keeps on giving.

Even their sibling interactions are hilarious.

Sherlock has been waiting for this conversation to be over since before Mycroft came in the front door.

He does have peak younger sibling energy though (says I who have a younger brother).

And we are immediately introduced to the reason behind Mycroft’s newfound worries: the Woman.

The switch from goofy big brother Mycroft to Government of Great Britain Mycroft is not unexpected, but this juxtaposition does allow us to better understand his character.

We also have the return of the smug, crafty Albert.

#morisute case 1 #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #a scandal in the british empire #morisute reaction

[tunemyart]

ok: thoughts on S3 The Rift? I’m rewatching xena for the first time in like 10 yrs and omg…

I *clapping emoji* LOVE *clapping emoji* THE RIFT *clapping emoji x2*

(but will also qualify my love of the Rift by saying I have NO idea how so many people watch it and go "oh yeah, how could Gabrielle DO that to Xena?" rather than the other way around bc were y'all watching when Xena methodically hunted down her and her child to kill her? Right on top of the trauma that Gabrielle had literally just gone through??? JESUS XENA WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR WIFE

anyway)

I love how it goes full on Greek tragedy, which is a literary form that is ALSO bananas, just straight up fucking bananas in the best way. It's not realistic! It's not meant to be realistic! It's meant to push the characters to the very limit of human experience and their own experience with humanity! To make us question their own limits and their own humanity! And it does a pretty fuckin good job of it.

And there is also the crowning glory of the Rift which is - the entirety of the show that followed. It transformed the show in terms of form and story, it transformed the characters in terms of how deeply nuanced and terrifyingly human they are (especially when it comes to their relationship with/to each other), and it quite literally formed the foundation the later seasons stand on. No way S4 exists without the Rift!! No way S6 exists without the Rift!!! The Rift permeates the rest of the show and creates an uneasy just-off-center kind of balance that, in X/G's learned, easy, familiar navigation of it, becomes maybe the most ridiculously intimate part of their relationship. They know each other. They keep choosing each other anyway. It's incredible.

#xena #xwp #thank you Rift for giving us jealous!gabs #this just in i am a gabrielle apologist #news to everybody i know! #just watched the bitter suite yesterday with a friend who's new to the show and he went straight from 'well that's abuse' to 'i love everyt #i've said before i do not deal with the gab drag at all and i stand by it #i was actually just thinking about paradise found in S4 when xena's going dark/crazy #and that split second POV flash in her mind to her hitting a screaming gabrielle #and that's a legit fear she has! that's one of the deepest fears of her soul! that's she'll abuse gabrielle #she knows she's capable of it - not just physically and psychologically but bc it's SOMETHING SHE'S ALREADY DONE #and like - whew! my GOD #to see her so terrified of it - this capability and fear of impulse that lies so deep within her #... and that would have meant NOTHING without the Rift #this horrible history between them that they keep referencing #which to be clear is a fuckin problem! and we should engage critically with it esp re: representation issues! #but that said you can't focus on it and survive the rest of the show #the rift is bonkers!!! it's a whole fucking lot!!! #but in context of the entirety of the show it's the gift that keeps giving #and that is my opinion on the Rift #my meta #ask #anonymous

[maliciouslycreative]

How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived. 

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun. 

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for. 

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later. 

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao. 

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was. 

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics. 

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread. 

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing. 

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned. 

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves. 

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too. 

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at. 

#malicious musings #stacey's adventures in fandom drama #lol #honestly it was such a fucking wild time #if i think of any other specific instances of drama i'll add them #god i wish i had screenshots of some of what went on #but sadly going through archived gaia posts is easier said than done

[dykeredhood]

Decided I’d answer all the Witcher-y questions that @inthishousewelovejoeybatey put together (from here)

The Trials: Would you ever become a Witcher? 

Hell yes, please load me up with herbs and mutagens – I’ll miss my pretty brown eyes, but in exchange I’ll get night vision and an even more piercing glare. I think I’m hardy enough to withstand everything they put the lil witchers through with only a minimum of shrieking

Monsters: What monster would you be?

I’d be a noonwraith – being associated with fields bursting with grain and also abducting mortals to make them dance with me until they die is enticing

Butcher of Blaviken: Have you ever been in a fight? 

Not really? I’ve had to sock a few people, like the guy who introduced himself to me at a university party and then kissed me full on the mouth. That was followed by a surprisingly coordinated right hook, since I was already pretty drunk by then. The I was at a nightclub in Scotland (hoping to head back to Sneaky Pete’s when it’s safe to travel 🙏🏼) and someone was getting far too handsy with me out on the dance floor, so I caught him with my elbow a few times across his jaw and brow bone and that put a stop to things.

Her Sweet Kiss: What was your first kiss like? 

I’m going to show restraint and hold off on putting that 3oh3! song in here. It was awkward and we were both in middle school and it was just both us fumbling all “ok I guess this is how you do this” it was also while we were at Disneyland in a Haunted Mansion doom buggy

Lute: Do you play any instruments? 

I played the flute (and piccolo) all through grade school up until university, and I actually bought myself a flute to re-learn how to play it, since that’ll be a nice hobby to engage in again

The Path: Do you like to travel? Favorite place you’ve visited?

I love traveling, and I was meant to head on trips to the east coast and down to Anaheim this year (if we didn’t have the pandemic sweep in and screw everything up there 😭). My favorite place I’ve visited has been Scotland – Edinburgh was lovely and seeing Hadrian’s Wall was fantastic (the segment of Hadrian’s Wall I visited was Birdoswald Fort though). I have a lot of fun strutting through the airport with my bootheels clicking on the hard floor and having a dirty martini at the bar before I board my plane. I did make it up to Chicago in Feb 2020 for C2E2, right before things started getting really serious with coronavirus in the US, and I’m really glad I at least got that bit of traveling in

Ballads: What’s your favorite song? 

If we wanna choose something that probably would exist in the Witcher land, I’ve been vibing to these songs:

Prickle Holly Bush/Charge of the Highland Cattle

Otherwise I’ve been recently vibing to The Wiggles, and this song really stands out, also the MCU could NEVER - Super Anto

Chaos: Do you believe in Magic? 

I’m not going to rule out the possibility of magic, but it’s not really anything I’ve observed with my own two eyes. I will encourage my plants to grow with kind words and a reminder that they all come from good hardy stock

Child Surprise: Do you want children? 

I don’t have what it takes to be a good mother – I know how to look after a child and give them good nutrition and everything, all that academic stuff. I don’t think I have the capacity/skill to be suitably nurturing toward a child, and with all that in mind, I cannot bring a new child into the world that I’m responsible for caring for when I don’t feel like I can be a well-rounded and quality parent that that child would deserve. I’m happy to be the fun auntie who’ll bring gifts of interesting candies and knives during the holidays, but I can’t be ANYONE’S mother

Destiny: Do you believe in destiny? 

No, not in the slightest. Destiny would probably have me be some man’s agreeable & repressed wife with a quaint house and a couple kids that I end up emotionally abusing because that’s all I’m goddamned used to and I cannot subject anyone to that treatment, my having gone through it is ENOUGH

Igni: Be honest, you would use Igni for simple, daily matters like warming the tub or lighting a candle, wouldn’t you?

If I had the ability to conjure up fire with my hands whenever I wanted? Absolutely – no more matches or lighters for me, we use magic now

Axii: If you could influence someone’s mind, what would you make them do/say?

I’d want to compel greasy politicians to give a shit about their subjects constituents

Otherwise I couldn’t justify controlling anyone’s mind (aside from in a kinky context but even then, I’d prefer to be the one who’s magically compelled to do things)

Speak normally: Favorite Witcher quote

The entirety of the scene where Ciri demands Geralt tell her a bedtime story (because how can she fall asleep without a story?) and even the dryad traveling with them gets invested in the story he tells about the fox and the cat.

Unbearably crotchety and cantankerous: What is your personality like?

I sure do have a lot of personality (anyone who’s met me in person can attest to this). At work I can get metallic and uptight, and outside of work it’s a little better, I enjoy snarky banter with my friends and my laugh sounds like a lumberjack (or Disney villain). To everyone’s apparent surprise, my apartment is pretty messy, but I know where the things I need are. Except for (apparently) where I put my flute, I thought I put it in a certain box and it’s not THERE. Back to my actual personality, I can be abrasive at times but I really enjoy helping my friends.

Doublet: Favorite outfit of Jaskier’s

Anything that includes his fancy plum bonnet with an egret’s feather – a hat with a flamboyant plume always gets me

The White Wolf: Favorite Geralt (Books, Games or Show)

Tbh my favorite Geralt is book!Geralt, he’s so snarky and the way he becomes the designated dad of almost everyone he meets just melts my heart (the way he met lil Ciri in the books is far superior to how they did that whole scene in the Netflix series)🫀 and I really like the Yorkshire/Scottish accent he has in the audiobooks

Geralt of Riva: Thoughts on Geralt

He is my DAD and also ME and in some instances I want to RIDE HIM (these are all separate instances and moods please do not show this to Freud). My father is a ballet dancer, he’s also really knowledgeable because he’s an engineering professor, and he doesn’t exactly have the most welcoming personality, so the comparisons there are obvious. (The School of the Wolf uses a lot of ballet inspired movements with how they train witchers how to fight, and it really stresses practicing enough to have that good technique and muscle memory in your body which is HUGE if you want to move swiftly and without injury)

Geralt’s whole exchange with Visenna where he’s upset that she knew what would happen if she (essentially) handed him over to her a Witcher and then she did it anyway really landed with me since my mother studied early childhood development and then went on to fucking give me PTSD. Geralt also canonically loves giving head and I would be all over that, let’s be real

Jaskier: Thoughts on Jaskier 

Jaskier has been overhyped by the Witcher Netflix fans — this isn’t even me being surly, it’s honestly more me being practical. I’m glad y’all enjoy his character, and Joey Batey is a great fit for the role, but here’s the damn thing: Dandelion is more of only intermittent character in the books and I love to see his antics when he shows up, but he’s just not featured as prominently as the rest of the Witcher fam. He’s such a disaster slut, and I love how he’ll be affable with everyone, becoming fast friends with the dwarves and dressing up all roguish like them. The part from the books where he acquired an assassin’s knife to stick in his belt but it keeps poking him when he bends forward so he just leaves it somewhere is charming

Yennefer of Vengerberg: Thoughts on Yennefer

I want a powerful sorceress wife. It’s sweet the way she interacts with lil Ciri, but I really don’t care for how she keeps calling her “ugly one” – even if it’s meant to be affectionate, it’s not something good for a little one to constantly be hearing.

Ciri: Thoughts on Ciri

PROTECT HER – she’s so earnest when she’s training to be a witcher at Kaer Morhen and Geralt is such a DAD and it’s really lovely (esp when she’ll run up all “praise me, Geralt!!” and then he does – it melts my heart 🥺). There’s entirely too much trauma porn involving Ciri in the books, though; I know bad and distasteful things happen in the Witcher land, but it feels excessive, especially seeing that she’s still a young woman trying to make her way in the world and all. She’s skilled and fierce and I wanna be girlfriends with her

#my writing #at least my responses to the questions are #personal #yknow what I’m also gonna tag for filing purposes #this additional tag for reference #Witcher OC #the Witcher

[carrackian]

‘Toxic’ Anime Fandoms (But I’m just angry)

Ok so this is gonna be a long stupid ramble because I (An idiot) found some articles online about toxic anime fandoms... and by god does it piss me off. SO in this essay I’m gonna incoherently scream about why these articles I found are just lacking in explanation, and then I point at the glaring flaws. Not to mention I’m using multiple articles, but they all like to use similar arguments.  Warning, I’m gonna paraphrase because these articles are long winded about literally nothing.

The Naruto fanbase is toxic because people compare everything to Naruto, and people get upset when you don’t put it in your best anime list!! Honey... HONEY, that’s how all fandoms are. Naruto was likely people’s first introduction to anime, and people are defensive over their nostalgia, I mean like you saw the uprising with the new Ben 10 and Teen Titans Go, other than the fact that they’re BAD, but people were upset and still are (which is yet again understandable)  Seriously, if I made a list that said ‘Best Things Ever’ and I didn’t include something that they liked, then I understand why someone would be upset, and maybe comment something. It’s the day in age where if you have an opinion someone will probably be upset with you.

The Deathnote fanbase is toxic because people like to say it’s good and act offended if you haven’t watched it! Well I mean... Yeah? That’s how fans of a show can act, it’s just exaggerated. I mean seriously, if someone told me they haven’t ever played Undertale, or heard anything about Homestuck- I’m gonna wonder about what part of the internet you’ve been on because I played Undertale for the first time in like 2019 thanks to how much my friends praised it, and I only got into Homestuck in very late 2020 because one of my friends went on a three hour rant about homestuck and I needed the context for so much stuff. Hell, I only have any knowledge on Deathnote because my friend took their old Deathnote Manga and gave it to me for my birthday- which was a touching gift since they really love Deathnote. 

The Hunter X Hunter fanbase is toxic because it doesn’t get attention from weebs, and the fans sometimes get angry. Seriously? That’s what we’re mad about? This is literally so fucking petty my god- next ffs.

The Jojo fanbase is toxic because ‘is that a jojo reference memes’ and because fans want you to watch Jojo. Fucking- AGAIN!? jesus christ. You wanna know how I got into Jojo? My tooth was pulled, and it was the first time I ever got any teeth pulled, so I was high as hell and spitting out blood occasionally. I didn’t want to walk home that day (for obvious reasons) and so I stayed late so I could get a ride from my friends parents. So when another mutual acquaintance came up, and he was playing the Jojo game on an emulator. This got into the three of them telling me about Jojo, but only super vague pieces of it. High off my ass I got home, binge watched like two seasons of it, and forgot everything that happened after the first episode. So I managed to get through the first season (again) before I got caught up in other things (ahem, pokemon) Not to mention that its normal to want to share something you like with other people. Back when I read books regularly I used to keep a list of books to recommend to my friends.

The Demon Slayer fandom is bad cuz too many spoilers :(  Okay? This... This doesn’t a toxic fandom make. Yeah it’s shitty, but like full fucking on- that’s not toxic?

The Dragon Ball fanbase is toxic because people think Goku is the strongest and argue about it, and it’s dying, but like I’m also proof that DBZ fans aren’t bad! Okay? And? Like I full on mean that. I’m a Dragon Ball fan and let me tell you- I’ve literally never seen a single fucking person actually say anything like that unironically- or during a power leveling video that’s an actual discussion about power scaling. Not to mention that for the most part people watch shows for the actual show? Like the plot, characters, storyline- ya know, the actual fucking show?

The Attack on Titan fanbase is toxic because fans sent death threats to the author for ending the manga. Jesus fucking christ- okay, yeah that’s toxic! So... where’s the catch? They also wrote their own endings to the manga. I swear to GOD- WHAT THE FUCK. Fanfiction has existed forever you ignoramus, bleach-snorting, styrofoam eating IDIOT. Seriously, I literally fucking rewrote the entirety of Naruto (Multiple Times over) are you gonna say that I’m Toxic? How about the multiple other hundreds of people who have literally rewritten entire works of fiction.

Now, what do I consider toxic fanbases? The top three are: Undertale, Homestuck and Steven Universe. The Undertale fandom managed to be so bad that people were actually kinda scared of it. Not to mention that it is a good game, people just went a bit too far. If you killed anyone people would send death threats, Markiplier (a really cool youtuber) had people yell at him for giving Sans a southern accent, and I mean the fact that it’s so big made it worse. The Homestuck fandom had many bad moments where some fans caused harm to others, damaged products, the girl who nearly killed herself trying to dye her skin for a cosplay, AND LITERALLY CHANGED THE CONVENTION FIELD. The Steven Universe fandom nearly killed a fan because she drew a fat character thin, they turned on the fucking creators for saying this was bad, multiple racist, sexist and homophobic things just existing while people pretend to be fake woke.

And this has been- I literally knew all of the bad fandom stuff because I lived through it. Problem is, I lived through the popularity of every single anime on this list while actively in more internet spaces, and I don’t fucking see it. Seriously, when I think of toxic anime fanbases I think about anime like Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, where a bunch of 30 year olds get horny over a child and then say that they’re fine because she’s ACSHUALLY 2,000 years old! I mean fuck, my favorite meme is literally the- “Men be like “You’re not a real anime fan if you don’t watch ‘Is it wrong to piss on my bunny sister’s feet?’“ Like- fucking exactly. Both these fucking articles have ‘I think that when someone is a little mean or says something kinda annoying they’re TOXIC!’ Like bitch no, when I think toxic I think of the gaslighting fanbases that end up with multiple people with mental disorders or someone dead- which let me tell you, is a surprisingly large amount of fandoms? 

Anyways so I’m done, mainly because it’s like super fucking late and I’m so tired

#Anime Rant #Toxic Anime Fanbases #So close to snapping #Seriously why are these articles so bad #W H Y #why professional articles so bad

[mitchbrodie]

Revolution Rabbit Deluxe | Album Review

A copy of the album ‘Myths & Fables’ fell into my lap when paying a short visit to a local musician who I’ve met from the Valleys gigging scene over the years. I was dropping off an old cassette tape that my Dad had recorded in the 1970s and Anthony, the mastermind behind Revolution Rabbit Deluxe, kindly stepped up to the challenge of digitising the sentimental tracks that it contained for me. On my way to re-collect the tape, I gave the album he gifted me a good listen to and was very impressed.

Revolution Rabbit Deluxe are a band based in the Blackwood area and although have quite an ominous stance in regards to who they are and what their initial message may be, they have crafted a very interesting third entry in their own world of album creation. The album opens with the track “Generation Voyeur” which melts into your mind with its dynamic synth line, assertive drum beat and unearthly spectral vocals.  A chorus chant of “Click! Click!” has quite an alarming tone to it, putting you on edge and really kicking off the overall feel of the album perfectly.   “Killswitch” continues with its bubbling synth and sweet mellifluous guitar line, drawing you in with its detrimental lyrics, drowned out by the optimistic vibe of the song’s instrumentation. It’s a real highlight of the album so far as it has a nice divide between despondency and the serene, clashing in all the right ways. Title track “Myths & Fables” bounces along with some synthy sounding bass, seemingly a reoccurring trope of the album so far, but one of the reasons why I am enjoying it so much so far! This song has more of a Brit-Pop vibe to it, harking back to the early 90s sound of bands such as Primal Scream or (dare I say it?) the Manic Street Preachers. I really like how varied and catchy the album is, adding the electronic elements to a more traditional band set up really gives it an extra layer for the band to play with. It’s like when Billy Corgan introduced electronic elements to the Smashing Pumpkins sound, the results were wonderful! The next song “Channel 5” creeps along, reminding me of a David Bowie song that I can’t quite put my finger on at this moment in time. A bit more of a glam stomper with some brilliantly fiddly guitar playing, militant drumming and prominent bass lines. Anthony is bellowing for his life here by repeating the refrain ‘taking me down’ and I really admire the space-age guitar outro alongside the industrial sounding drums rattling away underneath.  “Reconstruction (Through_Deconstruction)” has an almost Pop-Punk guitar intro which soon gets dispelled when the vocals slip in, giving it more of an Indie Rock feel with the scratchy guitars, layered vocals and it’s choral incantation of ‘if you want it, make it happen’. The next track “Pretty Escarpment” contains a refreshing keyboard sound, confident vocals and squidgy/fuzzy guitar licks. I had the piano melody from this stuck in my head when lying in bed the other night. It has such an emotive quality to it, even though by comparison, the band seem to be having a gig at the current political system within the lyrical context. What happens when you your Acid House turns New Wave? You “Go Supernova” with its wickedly distorted vocals and infectious bounce. I must say that “They say they’ll keep you young, I say much younger, you’ll re-enter your mother’s womb’ is the lyrical highlight of the album for me! Onwards from its clamorous break and supernatural sounding synth lines, we get into next track “Battle Hymn (of the New Republic)” which kicks off with an electronica introduction once again, but I’m beaming as I listen along attentively. Bringing back the Brit Rock presage, it sails along with a great upbeat pace and general concern for a potentially dystopian future which is coming to fruition.  “TV Junkies” concludes the album with its captivating melodies and unstable but rousing guitar bends. “Show me, show me, reveal who you are, reveal who you are!” is the chorus of choice, being equally as catchy as it is antagonistic. A great way to finish off the album, with a memorable indie-punk war cry, littered with a multitude of interesting vocals samples and exploratory sound effects.

As a whole, I think that this recent release in the Revolution Rabbit Deluxe oeuvre is pleasurable to my own personal musical intrigue and audible palette. Stuffed to the brim full of fascinating concepts and extensive sonic playfulness, this is a great Indie Rock meets Experimental Brit-Pop album that has been a delight to listen to in its entirety. The band seem to be quite prolific lately and I’ve noticed the shift in progression to their overall sound and musical output, ticking all the right boxes to me. If you get the chance, check out “Myths & Fables” as I’m sure you will find it quite engaging to explore and enjoy. I’ll be jumping down the rabbit hole myself over the next coming days to check out their previous albums and I’m also looking forward to seeing what they come up with next!  

Myths & Fables is out! Listen to it HERE on Spotify and follow the band on Facebook for future news and releases.

Mitch – 09.03.2021

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [945]

“Is this a part of the whole…” Ellana trails off, unsure how to encapsulate the entirety that is Evelyn’s family’s terrible choices.

“Yeah,” Evelyn says, staring down at the bird that’s staring up at her. One of the birds flew away the second the box opened, but the other one is either too sick, too weak, too scared, hurt, or possibly over the entire situation because it remained in place. “Sorry for bolting like that on you the other day. I sensed carolers and I just had to get out of there. Instinct took over at that point.”

“Mostly forgiven. They still did the whole song and dance thing, even when they realized you weren’t there. I think it took them a while to realize that you weren’t there? Which is weird because…your face is always on TV and various social media platforms and reporting formats. I think they got into it, realized you weren’t there, but to stop then would’ve been pathetic, so they just committed to the bit. The guy doing the actual proposing left though.” Ellana tentatively reaches out to stroke the bird’s back. It puffs up a little but doesn’t react otherwise. “So. I’ll get one of the vets I know on the phone. See if we can figure out what kind of bird this is and get it some medical treatment. Meanwhile. What are you going to do? There’s a bird flying around somewhere in this building.”

“I’ll have Josephine draft an announcement. This isn’t any stranger than the time we had a badger take over one of the equipment storage units.”

“I’d say a badger is much more dangerous than — I think this is a turtle dove. I’m pretty sure this is a turtle dove.”

“Depends on the context. A badger in a room filled with carefully sealed and stored boxes versus a scared bird in a building of unsuspecting victims with loose and sensitive objects everywhere? The bird wins out for me.”

“Fair enough. Where’s the rest of the proposal?”

“Call your husband and tell him that he’s got free rein to turn this entire base up side down with the Chargers if he has to. Find the rat and shake him or her by the ankles until they fess up. Is it draconian? Yes. Is it tyrannical? Certainly. Is it what needs to get done so more gifts of live animals don’t mysteriously turn up in my office as part of elaborate unsolicited marriage proposals? Unfortunately yes.”

“This could all be fixed if you’d just get married.”

“I’m not proposing to Cullen just to get my family to leave me alone.”

“I mean — you’d also be proposing because you love him a whole lot.”

“The timing is awful,” Evelyn carefully picks the box up and hands it to Ellana. “I’m entrusting this part to you. And by that I mean I’m trusting that you’re going to get this bird properly homed or released into the wild after an appropriate amount of time and that you aren’t going to keep it. Also — me getting engaged probably wouldn’t do anything. Knowing my family they’d react worse. I’m tempted to have Maxwell try and make contact but who knows what that’d do.”

“Sometimes you talk about your family like extraterrestrials,” Ellana replies, gently cradling the box and loosely putting the lid back on. It’s askew and still gives the bird inside visibility but chances are it shouldn’t be able to fly away. “It’s charming, except for the fact that there’s a good possibility that maybe they are.”

Ellana hums. “I’m definitely going to get this bird checked out and released and everything. But can I show it to Cole while I’m doing that? I think Cole would like to see a turtle dove. Also Bull. Bull because he’d laugh and because he’d need some kind of tangible proof of what’s going on with you so he can use that to do some sort of super secret spy mathematics in his head to get a lead on what he’s going to do next. Cole because Cole’s a sweetling.”

“Sure. Just swear to me you’re not going to keep it.”

“I swear it.” Ellana nods solemnly. “You should tell Bull that this is his holiday bonus. Getting to hunt blue blooded rich boys with bad, unwanted, holiday themed proposals that are encouraged by money and status for sport. He’d be delighted. It’d definitely top any other gift he gets this year. And if this thing goes on next year you could make it a traditional gift for him. Oh! You could open it up to all of us. It could be a competition. Who can root out the money hungry greedy little rats first and who can shake them up the best?”

“I don’t condone torture. And I don’t condone hunting people for sport,” Evelyn replies.

“But?”

“But…it sounds…interesting. It could be a good deterrent. There’ll always be someone desperate enough to accept my parent’s blood money. But. This could cause them to lose out a lot more of it.” Evelyn smirks. “I’ll have to draft up some ground rules. You know. So it’s fair. And relatively safe. And won’t sound too awful if it leaks — when it leaks — to the public that I’ve unleashed some of the world’s most chaotic individuals on the holidays to hunt down certain persons who are trying to profess their fake love for me.”

“You could give out prizes.”

“It’s a training exercise that doubles in increasing security around me during an incredibly hectic time of the year. Some people still blame me for the previous Divine’s death, and all.”

“Why, Evelyn,” Ellana says, “You’re starting to sound like Leliana. How diabolical. I applaud you. I’m going to tell Bull right away. He’s going to be extremely excited. Would you like to write him a note or anything to go with this present? It’ll make it so much more personal. Oh! I think I’ve got some winter’s greeting cards. Do you want to use one? Who am I kidding? Josephine probably has a stack of blank ones right now. I’ll go get you some.”

#heartsfic #gather your party and venture forth

[dailyaudiobible]

12/18/2020 DAB Transcript

Habakkuk 1:1-3:19, Revelation 9:1-21, Psalms 137:1-9, Proverbs 30:10

Today is the 18th day of December welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian and it's great to be here with you today as we continue the journey step-by-step day by day. Moment by moment together we move through the Scriptures. And it's not a secret that we’ve been moving rapidly through the Scriptures because we’re encountering shorter texts within the Scriptures. Today is no different. We got a brand-new book in front of us. And this one is called Habakkuk and we will read Habakkuk in its entirety today.

Introduction to the book of Habakkuk:

It's the eighth of the minor prophets. And who Habakkuk was is pretty well unknown. Maybe we know less about Habakkuk than we do any of the other writers in the Bible. Nahum, we didn't know much about him when we read that yesterday, but we did have some…some time…like we could locate him in time because of some specific references. Of course, me saying we’re not really exactly sure who Habakkuk was, that's like not new. People have been wondering, figuring, having traditions about a Habakkuk for centuries, even millennia. There’s a Jewish tradition that speaks of Habakkuk as is the son of a Shunamite woman who was resurrected through Elisha. And that stories found in the book of second Kings. Of course, Habakkuk’s not named in that story. So, it's a tradition. There’s other traditions, like fantastic traditions, one that’s found in the up apocryphal book “Bell and the Dragon” that talks about Habakkuk with Daniel while he was in the Lion’s den. But like I said, these are traditions, they may be long-running traditions, but they’re traditions and most scholars, especially with, like “Bell in the Dragon” find…find a story like that to be maybe be legendary. Nevertheless, many verses that are found in Habakkuk are famous. Maybe the most famous will be like Habakkuk 2:4 “but the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.” That might sound familiar – “the righteous will live by faith” - is like a mainstay quote from the apostle Paul in his writings. It's also in…in the book of Hebrews. It's a core theme in the Christian faith. And scholars have noticed that…that the book itself, the text itself is sort of lyrical in form and definitely has a Psalm or hymn at the end, which leads some to think maybe Habakkuk was a temple musician, possibly. But basically, the book of Habakkuk is a conversation between the prophet Habakkuk and God, and it begins at a place of doubt. Habakkuk is saying out loud the things that he’s seeing, and they are leading him to doubt. He wants to know why God continues to allow evil to exist and to continue forward almost like he…he’s indifferent to it. And then God responds by saying the Babylonians are gonna come punish His own people, which leaves Habakkuk confused even more. Not sure, he’s perplexed. And then God reveals the Babylonians will punish His people and the Babylonians will be punished. Evil will be destroyed in the end. That's the goal. And, so, Habakkuk begins to realize that God’s not indifferent, he’s not unaware. He has His will. He will continue to move His plan forward. He is a God of justice. And Habakkuk ends up moving into a place of worship. And, so, Habakkuk has three chapters, and we will read them all now starting with chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word and another day to spend together in Your word. And we thank You for Habakkuk, a book that we read in its entirety today, one that shows us a movement from frustration and confusion to worship when we understand fully that You’re not aloof. You’re very, very much paying attention to what's going on and You are in control. We lose sight of that when we judge that it doesn't look like that, when we deem that it doesn't look like that anymore. And, so, we have these questions and these frustrations and then when we can settle into the fact that You are good, You are present, You are the most-high God, You are the all-powerful one and You are our Father. When that context takes hold again, when our actual reality reasserts itself than we, our spirits are again turned toward worship. What else can we do? There is none higher than You. There is nothing else to give our hearts to in worship. There is no other place to put our hope. And, so, our hope is in You and You alone. Come Holy Spirit, lead us forward in truth we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, that is indeed home base and its where you find out what’s going on around here. And what else is going on…on besides Christmas time. We are getting very close are we not? We’re going to go through this weekend and then it’s gonna be Christmas week. How did it get here so quickly? Are we ready? Is everything done? All these things are swirling through our minds at Christmas and those things can kind of cover over what we’re really looking for underneath it all, which is hope for the arrival of the Savior.

So, I mentioned yesterday, we released a new single “O Holy Night” performed by Jill my wife and we’re just releasing it into all of the flurry of activity and festivity that goes on at this time, these moments, these days before Christmas comes. The words to that song are timeless and they root us back to that story underneath it all. Yes, this is joyous. Yes, there's a lot of chaos involved in Christmas, but underneath it all there is “oh holy night the stars are brightly shining it is the night of dear Saviors birth.” So, you can stream that on Spotify, or Apple music, or YouTube music or Google play, wherever, or you can buy it at any of these places as well and keep it a part of your permanent collection. Just look for Jill Parr. That's…well…that’s Jill’s maiden name, and that's what she was known of…known as before she was Jill Hardin. So, just look it up, “O Holy Night”, the single and enjoy. Listen to the words of that song and let it lead you deeper into the Christmas season.

The other thing we’ve been talking about is the Daily Audio Bible Shop. There are a number…there’s all kinds of stuff in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Some stuff, yeah. If you’ve taken the 2020 journey, something to remember that journey. This has been an unforgettable year and we might want to forget it as quickly as possible, but we shouldn't because when we get some hindsight on this thing, we are going to see that we grew up all lot and it was time. We…we were…we were getting soft and pudgy, we were acting like a toddler, we were kicking and squirm…squirming, we were throwing our bottle down on the ground because things weren’t going our way. We were jumping up and down and throwing a fit.  And once and a while things come along and they tell you, “you know what? A new season is upon you. Whether you like it or not it's time to grow up.” And we have in so many ways. So, just to kind of remember that, that is important because…so that we don't have to do these lessons again, not that pandemics are going to be sent upon the earth every year, but so that those pathways that lead us to transformation and growth and growing up so that we can have learned the lesson no matter what the catalyst was, so that we could've learned what we needed to learn and pick up what we need to pick up and lay down what we needed to lay down and move forward stronger. So, there's the case for remembering. But there are number of resources in the Daily Audio Bible Shop that just…there just that kind of a thing, they’re commemorative things each year as we go through the Scriptures. So, check that out. There are number of unique gifts there for…yeah…for anyone in your life. So, check that out. We have basically the weekend and then that’ll be sort of the end of it because we've reached our threshold for shipping inside the United States and etc. etc. So, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop and maybe that hard-to-find gift will be there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. I thank you with all of my heart, with all of my heart, with all of my gratitude for your partnership. Especially here as we’re ending the year. Thank you. Thank you for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This is Quiet Confidence from Virginia and ever since I got out of the mental hospital, I feel so lost. I’ve just been begging God to just please take me home because life seems so unbearable. It seems very unbearable. Every day is a struggle and I just need God to have mercy on my soul. I used to be so close to Him and I don’t know how I got to this place. But I need God to help me. The enemy keeps telling me I’m not a Christian, I’m not going to make it to heaven, but I ask God for forgiveness of my sins and that He would just please allow me to go home. My husband of 24 years has been trying to help me and I’ve been taking my medication, but I still struggle, and I really need God to deliver me. I don’t want to self-harm anymore, but I really need God to please just…just take me home. I just want it to be over because it’s a terrible feeling to feel lost every day. Lord Jesus please have mercy on my soul.

Hey this is holiday greeting from Justin in Colorado. I’ve walked with the Lord for several decades. I’ve been in the mission field. I’ve been on church staff. You know, all the things. But this year I purposed to work through the Bible in a…in a single year and I’ve just gotta say the Daily Audio Bible was such a huge gift. And consuming large volumes of Scripture every day has been transformational for me in the sense that I’ve got…I feel like I’ve gotten to know the Lord, His personality, just…just to know who He is, what He does, what He likes, what He doesn’t like. I…I feel a greater level of intimacy than I’ve ever felt even having quiet times and going a verse at a time every morning like I’ve done for years. So, this is been just a huge blessing to me. Thank you so much.

Hi yes this is Living by Grace. I don’t know if you can hear me clearly, but I just want to give a praise report. This is long overdue. Back about two years ago I called about my wife having some anxiety problems and since I called in maybe about a week and half afterwards really started see a marked change. And she was struggling even going to work and was really in a rough place. And I believe that God saw her through and helped use that situation to grow her closer to Him. And I just want to encourage anybody who is going through those things that I know is very real and I know that God has a plan for it and that He’s able to overcome whatever difficulty you’re going through. I’m a personal witness to it and I…I know that He has to continue to sustain her, sustain us in all that we do. But I just want to say thank you and thank the whole family, the Daily Audio Bible family for praying for us and just have a blessed day.

Hey, DABbers this is Katie in Kentucky. I just want to call and pray for all of you parents who are exhausted, whether you have a newborn who is not quite sleeping through the night like those two hour stretches that leave you just so tired or a parent of a four-year-old who wakes up in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep, those parents of teenagers who are out and trying to wait up for them or any of those parents who are just dealing with your children’s big feelings overall the Covid restrictions. I just want to pray for all of you. God lift up the parents, give them strength, give them energy that is just beyond anything that they can have on their own. Give them wisdom and the words to say to their kids as the kids are struggling. Give them peace. And God as much as possible, just give parents a good night’s sleep. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Love you DABbers. Bye.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible friends and family this is Granny Mary from Missouri. My best friend Vera has Covid and she’s in a coma on the ventilator in the hospital. She’s been in a coma for two weeks. They’re going to give her another week and try to decide. She’s got grandkids and a daughter. And would you please pray for her because, you know, it’s not easy for families who lose loved ones. She’s a wonderful Christian lady so, I know if God does take her home where she’s going, but the kids all need prayer, her grandkids and her daughter. So, thank you very much. God bless you all. Have a good day. Bye-bye.

[sixmorningsafter]

An Apology Letter, SMA Love Letter, & Gabi Appreciation Letter

Let me begin this review by apologizing. Not just for waiting almost a year to review this insanely awesome chapter (don’t even tell me I don’t have to; I’ll drive up state just to take you by the shoulders and shake you and that silly thought out of your head; it is an honor and privilege to tell you how awesome you are!), but also for the tone of this review feeling so haggard. 2018 was, as Damon told Kai, “not a good look”, and I feel like it’s digested all the gall and sass and shit-starting energy I usually dole out for these reviews, so here I am, a regurgitation, still holding to the fact that you’re a fabulous writer who deserves all the praise I can possibly muster for your efforts. Despite having a life (or not, considering, ya know, med school), you still post on this page; you’re clearly still carrying the headcanons and the plot and the characters with you. I know the feeling of having the desire to write but feeling too tired, physically and emotionally, or disinterested or unmotivated, or whatever so I can’t even sit in your inbox like “hey love sma! You write soooo good. You’re awesome! and uh when are you gonna update?” Of course, I’d love an update, but I also know you. You want to put out your best work, what you’re at least 95% proud of, and it’s so obvious in Chapter 17.

Side note: I reread Chapter 16 and my review to give myself context and bolster some pizazz just for you.

REPLY: Let me begin my response to this review by apologizing for MY TEARS. Cass, you’re just an absolute light in this bitchy eclipse of a world and your ridiculous kindness radiates off every sassy, stubborn, talented, vulnerable, open-hearted part of you and I’m so, so happy I get to call you a friend. The fact that you took the time to write all of this despite your ridiculously busy, full, grad student, WEDDING-PLANNING (at the time) life, largely because you knew it’d put an idiotic smile on my face? You’re just a gem of a human being. I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying to keep my responses as succinct as possible because I’m so eager to post this and share your insights and writing with everyone else, partly because they always make me and my dumb writing look smarter than it actually is, but mostly because it’s a crime to keep it from the world. Anyway, onward and upward:

Bamon + Kai + the Pig Cadaver

To remind the audience, Bamon had a pretty petty and deep-cutting fight last chapter; Damon got over himself, with the help of Kai (kinda), and now Bamon are on better terms. That being said, these two dumbies are so… nerve-wrackingly good at detaching themselves from conflict. Like, I feel like Steroline would have put up walls and ruminated hard on something as harsh as Damon’s mention of Bonnie’s shitty life, but Bamon are King and Queen of sweeping the bad shit under the rug.

REPLY: I think it’s so cool that you point that out because it made me realize that’s one of my favorite things about writing Bonnie and Damon: they’re ability to both deliver and take hits. They’ve both gone through some really dark, messed up stuff - the kind of stuff people with more traditional upbringings tend to tiptoe around because they don’t know how to talk about it - so it’s almost like to be accepted in their entirety, they need to be around people who are unafraid of that stuff. Unafraid to go there. Unafraid to bring it up, unafraid to cross lines sometimes, unafraid to make jokes about messed up experiences and accept them about each other without flinching. I think they can recover quickly from those kind of blows from each other because in a weird way, at least they’re being acknowledged. At least someone’s talking about it without getting that wincing, deer-in-the-headlights look and acting like it’s a forbidden topic. Obviously in the last chapter, Damon took it too far and was trying to actively alienate her with his comments, but in general I really enjoy writing their budding sense of familiarity with each other. Anyway, good thing I’m being succinct right the review hasn’t even really started GOOD LORD.

Damon jolting Bonnie like she’s being electrocuted is so unbearably cute to me. So domestic. So friendly but also playful but also coupley… I’m dead.

“Wow, you’re really going full nerd.”/”Oh… you sweet summer child, you haven’t even begun to see full nerd.” In my previous review, I (demanded) mentioned wanting more nerd!Bonnie, and you delivered. What an honor, truly.

“It was like he’d [Kai] never left, except now he was surrounded by a bunch of wires and a mini Tesla coil.” I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but I think it’s so funny and silly that you embedded some serious sci-fi shit in this romcom fic. Like, we’re really out here, considering is Kai an alien? Can Kai really teleport or “dissolve in and out of the time-space continuum as he pleases”? He’s not just creepy or socially inept. He’s also fucking extraterrestrial.

lmfao in chapter 16 or 15 or whichever it was where they explored Kai’s apartment while he went swan-hunting, I had to make a choice about whether to keep things semi-realistic or just go balls-to-the-wall cray re: Kai and I think we all know which route I decided to take 😂

“Still, it was a surprisingly appealing thought, the idea of having some kind of effect on him.”/ “Snagging the unsnaggable.”/ “Ruffling the unruffable.” We out here, making up words and shit; my Word doc spell-check is having a field day. But her observation about having dealt with guarded people kind of relates to what I was tryna say earlier on: both Damon and herself are very guarded, and her ability to see that nothing truly sticks to him is reflective of that same for her.

“It was like he was coated in oil, like his entire personality was adapted to glide through life without ever catching on anything around him.” / “Even the good things.” Talk about knife to the gut (why yes, this is a reference to the future Steroline conversation, which I am using to demonstrate how fucking enamored I am by this understanding of Damon’s character). I feel like Damon started as the kid thinking “if things are good, then something bad is gonna happen” to “good? bad? what are those and, more importantly, who fucking cares?”

Just another day of Cass making me feel like a far better writer than I am because she always gets exactly what I’m going for and then explains it better than I do. That’s precisely his trajectory, man. He went from a kid with no control of his own life, constantly bracing for impact, to a kid who realized nothing can control if you don’t give a fuck. If good things don’t make you happy and bad things don’t make you sad, you’re always at equilibrium. You’re always at a steady-state. And most importantly, you’re at a steady-state that no outside factor controls.

“Maybe the oil coat went more than skin-deep.” Foreshadowing! I like this conversation a lot though. Insight about Bonnie’s past (another gracious gift promised last review, thank you SMA goddess for such a blessing) and her PTSD and embarrassment about the shit show that is her parents.

Bonnie’s “I wish I could turn it off like that.” Speaking of shit shows, nice nod to canon.

😂😂😂

“Was that—vulnerability?” Yes baby, revel in it! Idk if you did this on purpose, but it’s like Damon is leaning into his previous realization of her cracking his “varnish” (just realizing his description of a glossy seal is an almost visual parallel to Bonnie’s description of him being slick with oil (I’m thinking like petroleum)… anyways). Like, “she’s already seen me lose my fucking mind in the cellar, being a little vulnerable about it won’t hurt, right?” I mean, yes, but also, Bonnie is a shit-starter too, babe.

“Were those—emotions?” / “I hate knowing you.” / “Are you okay? Do you need some water?” and later paired with “How does it feel to be a human being?” / “Stupid.” / “That means you’re doing it right.”

You know how I feel about Kai’s “Friends!” He is so weird, and I love it, but I’m also afraid that I love it. Thanks!

Yeeeesssss, I wanted to show him slowly starting to adjust to the fact that she’s seen things. Him.  And you know what, here they are anyway. The world’s still spinning. She’s still being her weirdo competitive self. So maybe it’s not the worst thing to have (albeit accidentally) let someone in a little. A big motivation for me re: Bamon in this chapter was getting them to the point where they eased into being comfortable sharing things with each other. Not everything, obviously, but way more than they share with the average person. Kind of like a ‘well we’re stuck in this ridiculous situation and we’re unexpectedly more alike than we think so maybe we just lean in a little’. So I’m really glad that’s what you got out of this, WOOT.

Kai’s everyone’s friendly neighborhood son/serial killer and I think it’s best to just let yourself adore him and hope for a minimal body count. 

The Matt Talk

I think I already told you I was so emotionally distraught this chapter. If you’re new to SMA, hi I’m Cassandra and I’m always an emotional mess when it comes to Gabi’s writing. But, this was some next level shit. You’ve said so many times you’re worried about how these emotional scenes go, but like fuck dude. You went hard, and it was so difficult for me not to be actually crying. Idk, I’ve never been in Caroline’s situation or known anyone to go through this, but the whole injustice of it, you know? The possibility that any woman could be going through this or has gone through this. I’m not belittling the men who have been abused in their relationships, of course. What I am saying is if I am taking this personally, having never experienced it, but as a female, knowing this could very well happen, that means your writing is fucking spot on.

Full-disclosure, your entire breakdown of this scene is just the most beyond fantastic thing that I don’t even want to break it up with shitty responses. I’m pretty sure reading your insights about it affected me more than the entire multi-week process of actually writing it, so idk how you did that but here we are. For the millionth time, your responses are the only reason I think maybe all my fumbling and exasperated editing is somehow producing something half-okay. I’m dying whale noises. Bye.

Setting the scene up with Steroline in the tub, for being their poetic selves tryna be symmetrical in their emotional moments and emphasizing how thick the silence around them is… oof dude. I know you have that “movie” mentality when you write, and idk how you fucking do it, but it definitely translates. Idk if you’ve ever been in a moment like this, where you need to say something of Importance to someone of Importance, but your voice has just gone on vacation for a minute, and you’re sitting there with an empty tongue, and, in my experience, the person tries to prompt you about what you’re trying to say, but I’ve been in moments like this. So, this set up was so poignant for me. Luckily, she’s talking to Stefan, the boy who listens to even Rebekah earnestly and wholeheartedly.

Caroline’s Gazania daisies metaphor: shit breaks my heart. How long did she think about this? The metaphor is like… a detachment. Like, how light bends in water. Her story is the light, the flower metaphor is the water, allowing the story to refract, to be that much more removed from the reality.

“A flicker of intimacy based not on things they’d experienced together, but rather things they’d experienced apart.” I think it loops back to Bamon too, whether neither are eloquent enough to make that seamless connection. I think that should be the tag line of each ship; these very different people are tied to one another by feeling what they’ve felt and relating it back to what the other(s) has (have) felt.

I think you’ve very skillfully woven canon and SMA for Matt’s story. TVD made him the human golden boy, and SMA has him resentful and dark… and it just goes to show how environment can really shape a character’s outcome. tvd!Matt saw the supernatural as the reason his life was so shitty and suddenly had a purpose; sma!Matt didn’t have that scapegoat, so without rhyme or reason for his shitty circumstance, he fabricated that it was somehow Caroline.

Fucker.

“Senior year was kind of a train wreck” to “We were still okay, though. Still us.” Rereading this part made me seriously think of like… a slingshot. Like, all of this is just leading up to the snap and the release of Matt’s true colors. And how devastatingly it was that Caroline didn’t know, honestly couldn’t know, that it was going to happen.

Shit like Matt being mad at Caroline for proudly blurting out she got accepted into NYU when Vicky had just OD’ed is so fucked up to me. To be actually mad about it. Bro, stay mad about it. But that’s the point, isn’t it? That this was the final straw for him, the last thing to tip him into batshit abusive fuck mode.

As a therapist, I could easily say, he is clearly shaped by his circumstances, he didn’t have enough support or self-esteem to fully develop the core values and strengths that he needed to not become this abusive piece of shit, that there might be some self-awareness by the way he tries to remedy a bad fight with a great breakfast (or a learned behavior to get approval again). Even if I do consider those things, irl and even with Matt, it’s in no way condonable, and I don’t think I could ever be able move from this point of view.

“She’d lived like that for months, a blur of turtlenecks and concealer, of overbright smiles and obsessive thoughts, of guilt and blame and normalizing the abnormal, of questioning if what she thought was happening was actually happening.” / “Could actually be happening.” Just reading this summarizes all the females who are in relationships like this, who question whether their partners’ could actually be raping them… ugh. It breaks my heart even now, writing this review.

(Honestly, I had to step away and resume the next day)

Caroline’s comeback: “He was staring at the old Caroline. The one he hadn’t broken in. The one that ran on gall and instincts, that didn’t dim herself for anyone, that’d jump in front of a bus for the people she loved… She’d grown back into her skin. Unshrunken till she was towering over him, a bright, brilliant light staring down at a meager lick of flames.” This whole bit was so good, so relieving, so satisfying. I know what Matt did still haunts her, but Caroline coming back and reclaiming who she is, even to present time, is so, so satisfying.

“Let’s be real, though, Bonnie could probably beat us both up.” / “Definitely.” – these were my thoughts when Caroline was defending her lol.

The Universe Speech: ilysm but also fuck you for being so good at this lol. I am so mad at how good you are at this, and you’re kinda like shruggy shoulders, I’m-just-trying-my-best. Get your humble ass out of here. “I think you’re a universe. I think you’re full of suns—and comets and black holes and everything in between. And when one sun burns out, you’ll just flare into a million more, unapologetic and infinite, because nothing… not pain, not heartbreak, not even the entire exec board of Emory apparently, can stop a universe from expanding.”

And Caroline immediately clicking with the metaphor? (rewriting her Gazania metaphor story I hope) And she runs with it like, “It couldn’t help but make her feel like maybe she hadn’t lost anything. /  Maybe she’d just outgrown it.” and “An infinite, chaotic expanse of dazzling light and annihilating dark… capable of anything but responsible for nothing outside of stretching out toward an invisible horizon fiercely, constantly, even in the face of billions of years of gravity pulling her back”. THIS IS MY SHIT DUDE. First off, this visual representation of a person is so beautiful and inspiring and so full of grace and forgiving, you know what I mean? It just shouts volumes to how okay it is to fail sometimes or to feel Feelings, and how it shouldn’t and couldn’t be used against her. It’s literally the expanded and improved version of “reach for the stars” – more like be the universe, among the stars, and reach for the unknown. BIG OOF.

“I can’t possibly follow that up with my dumb Elena drama” / “Hey, not a competition.” – someone recently quoted someone else to me, saying It’s not the suffering Olympics, and it’s resonated with me so hard, dude.

Steroline throwing back things the others have said, Stefan’s “Whatever nice thing you feel like you have to say, it’s okay” and Caroline’s “You can’t escape me! / I’m unapologetic and infinite!”

I don’t remember if its this chapter or last, but Stefan indulging in Caroline’s playful side, and Caroline recognizing Stefan’s sassypants is by far my favorite Steroline Thing ™ in this story. Parallelly, Bonnie’s Damon-ain’t-shit attitude, and Damon’s she’s-more-than-I-anticipated revelation is my favorite Bamon Thing ™.

I am overwhelm-sion. 

I am aegoifhjaeoeagidhy.

That scene took me weeks of editing to get in a remotely publishable place and even then I was like WELP SURE HOPE THIS ISN’T OFFENSIVE FLAMING GARBAGE LOL ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT *POST* so. Needless to say. This response means el mundo. I am in full turtle.

But real quick, exiting emotional turtle stance to say that I feel like you and I have always been super in sync about liking writing that celebrates messiness and imperfections and humanity in all it’s mistake-ridden earnestness so I’m not surprised you liked the universe metaphor as much as I did. Fuck suns and their one-dimensional asses. We stan universes in this bitch. Asteroids. Supernovas. Blow some things up. Crash into some planets. Sink into some really deep darknesses. It’s okay. There will always be bright, brilliant stars all around you, too. 

Bamon, Kai, Bonnie’s Feral Sweet Tooth, and The Food Fight

Speak of the devil: “She shook her head, lips curling into a droll ‘get over yourself’ of a smile, and for some reason, something about the look stuck out to him a bit.” AND, MY FAV: “For some reason, he liked it.” YES YES YES YES.

He’s hopeless.

The “Love It” arc (why yes I did use that word very specifically to refer to the sassy snap). On a tangent, Kai on Twitter, Kai on Pinterest… for an alien, he’s very adaptive.

He’s got his entire home planet hooked on snapchat. 

Oh, here it is again: “Now that he knew what a genuine fucking weirdo she was, he was a little curious about what she’d actually been thinking.” I know fluffy moments such as Never Have I Ever (before shit hit the fan) are most likely over, but if they were to return, I suggest Truth or Dare, and Damon asks Bonnie what she thought of him when he’d met Caroline (and her) at that club. Listen, both Damon and I want to know. I’m not saying make it happen, but I am.

There’s another dinner coming for their last snowed in night because I’m nothing if not repetitive and I think Truth or Dare is a trope I can definitely work in. I mean, I wouldn’t want it to feel left out given that I’ve used every other fanfic trope known to mankind.

“Wow!” Bonnie exclaimed, leaning forward to peer at the uncanny cake topper with a bewildered look. He even got her one earring right. – I’m cryinggg

He’s special.

“Can we just… go through what all of these heavenly things are, because I may look calm, but I’m actually losing my mind.”

“Absofruitely!” This is a mine of just so many fucking gems.

Kai Knowing: I feel like he’s just a mind-reader, because he already stated he can’t read people very well. But I absolutely love how both Bonnie and Damon are like, oh yeah totally super in love you betcha bud, and Kai’s like, I see it for realsies this time. Bamon 4 Eva bb. Love at first bicker, honestly.

lolololol I just loved the idea that their growing connection was so goddamn obvious that even the self-declared Worst Person Reader Ever was like ‘wowza so this is love huh?’

The Food Fight. I love the “She was glaring at him, eyelashes coated in frosting” line so much. It’s both cute and endearing, and the fact that Damon is paying that close attention.

“Cupcake Quidditch seems kind of fun.”

“It’s stupid dangerous, not to mention a giant waste of food.” Lol Bonnie.

Bonnie being on the shooting team—and Damon also being good at shooting. AU of an AU where SMA Bamon are spies or assassins (Mr. & Mrs. Smith). But only sma bamon. Fuck canon.

We don’t know her.

But also yes to this AU. @coraxes​ once wrote this awesome drabble where Bonnie and Damon met as teenagers and because of it I’ve always wanted to do some alternate timeline where they grew up in the same city, weaving in and out of the same seedy social circle as teens, flickering in and out of the periphery of each other’s lives, but always having this strange tension whenever their paths happened to cross, you know? Just these rare, vaguely loaded interactions where they both saw glimpses of the fact that the other was smarter than this, better than this, you know? That they both were. The point of this all being that I could imagine them both showing off whatever it is they know about guns, lololol. 

“It’s not very captain-y to bathe in the blood of my enemies either but hell if that’s going to stop me.”

She’s also special.

“Temporary timeout” leading to the “Truce” leading to “she suddenly hit him with the look, like Bambi and Tiny Tim and sixteen puppies and every Pixar character ever created had been thrown into one of those face-combining apps” which ultimately leads to Damon’s “fine” and his absolute bewilderment “He just blinked in confusion, unsure of what the hell had just happened.”

From “he held out his [launcher] and she stared at it for a beat before grudgingly taking it” to “in the split-second before she spoke, he suddenly knew exactly what was about to happen” STRAIGHT UP, UNFILTERED GOLD. Like, there’s no other explanation, really. You’re the Midas of Belvafore. I’m calling it, it has been declared, no take backsies or arguments from you, young lady.

I AM NO SUCH THING BUT I WILL TAKE IT ANYWAY.

The Elena Talk

Stefan’s safe space being Bonnie’s room – my heart. There are a lot of things I don’t like about canon, you know, but it would have made so much sense to have a stefonnie friendship (more than bamon, honestly). I didn’t know I needed it until SMA lol.

Listen, I was never into it until I wrote this. I don’t even know where it came from - I legit think the clips for the first trailer I made just worked out that way so I rolled with it, but once I started writing it it felt so natural? They just bounce off each other so easily, it’s one of my fave dynamics to write in a fic full of dynamics I love to write.

The glow-in-the-dark stars: I can totally imagine Stefan helping Bonnie move into every new place, and once all the boxes are in, he’s like, all right now for the real reason I helped you move in, and he rearranges the constellations by memory.

LMAO YES.

The fire escape call backs lol. I feel like every single person in this universe is a shit-starter—it just comes easier to Daroline lol.

The segue from the glow-in-the-dark stickers to “Bright things fade” in reference to the bright, warm, gooey-ness that was Stelena. You already know, I am impressed times a thousand, as always. I also think using this space theme between them is interesting and something to be explored. (I feel like an English teacher, and like maybe it was intentional, maybe it wasn’t. Either way, there is something there, and honestly, as the writer, it was your gut feeling to go with this theme, so maybe it was a subconscious effort, if not fully intentional). (Fight me).

We can go with me having complicated, writery instincts with layers and intricacies that are all very intentional or we can go with me not being creative enough to come up with another metaphor. 

The Meet-Cute has a quality that makes it perfect for Stelena. Yes, you are the author, and yes, you created what is ‘perfect’ for them, and yet? It could have easily been a different meet-cute, not Stefan’s speechlessness or her instant smitten-ness. God, he is such a Ted Mosby. But, at least, he’s learning from his Elena experience, that love may not exactly work like that. Maybe love-at-first-sight is a thing (hard maybe), but like Caroline soon alludes to, it’s more devastatingly impactful if love is grown as between two friends or even two people who don’t even like each other (both ships, honestly).

THE TED MOSBIEST. I honestly had trouble writing some of that scene because I was trying to walk the fine line between ‘this guy is sappy and unrealistic but ultimately earnest’ and ‘this guy has imposed wildly unrealistic ideals onto the world around him and it comes from a place of entitlement and privilege and neither the narrative nor the characters condone it’. I’m a big hater of the Ted Mosby’s of the world because I feel like they go through the motions of ‘growing’ but actually just keep doing the exact same thing and falling head over heels for girls that ‘disappoint them’ without ever seriously looking at themselves, so what I tried to do in the scene was show the side of Stefan that’s kind of messed up AND the side of him that realizes he’s kind of messed up. I wanted Caroline’s original dislike of him to make a little more sense, but also wanted to show you why he’s different from the prototypical Nice Guy. He knows that he was unrealistic. He knows that he purposefully turned a blind eye to red flags. He knows that he was putting too much weight on something that had a flimsy foundation at best. But he’s still human and admits that he’s never felt something that electric before, despite all that knowledge, and that’s why he hasn’t been able to shake this for two years. SO yeah, he’s an interesting one to pin down.

Sidenote about the Salvatores: I think it’s interesting that the first person Rebekah calls is Stefan, Stefan calls Lexi. Does that mean Lexi calls Freya? Freya probably doesn’t call a damn one of them lol. It’d be interesting if Lexi or Freya called Rebekah, for non-logical thinking, you know what I mean? I feel like Freya (even though it should be impossible to feel anything about her, considering she’s just a thought at this point) is very well-grounded, and she has a harder time thinking with her heart—and that’s why she might call someone like Rebekah. Omg, could you imagine that they all want to call Stefan, but if he’s busy, they call one another like, “Okay what would Stefan say? What would Stefan do?” Lol, headcanon.

Honestly this is perfect. And you’ve got Freya down to a T so idk how that happened. One of my fave things is getting headcanons about the Salvatores because they’ve basically had like one scene (two for Rebekah) on the phone and yet everyone just gets them. Every headcanon I get is spot-on. It’s delightful.

“Sounds like you and me”… “You said scowls and blizzards and vomit-inducing disdain, right?” lol oh Caroline. Allergic to a sincere moment, either reacting very, very violently or with a joke to help alleviate his discomfort.

She’s a syrupy little thing.

“Nothing could diminish the drug-rush feeling that’d flooded his veins”. I think it’s interesting that his reaction is “Nothing could ever make him forget that he was capable of feeling that much” and not that he wanted to feel that feeling again. It seems like him staying with Elena was him resupplying that feeling, but irl, it seems like people are more likely to relationship-hop, thinking that the relationship/the significant other was at fault, that love in its full drug-like capacity is worth it and they need, need, need it. It’s interesting that he turned inward and actively avoids feeling that way. He later says “It’s so hard not to want to feel it again” but what keeps him from feeling that way again? Is it Caroline’s fear of a person’s potential to ruin? Or maybe it’s just that he hadn’t found someone who is like that? Does Stefan even date around? I’m curious about your insight.

This actually took me a while to pin down in the story because canon was so all over the place with Stefan’s love life - I feel like he had a new love-of-his-life-from-the-past every season and if it wasn’t this random guest star, it was the other one, you know? He was kind of a serial monogamist in canon and yet still managed to have this distinct air of believing in a singular soulmate/’Elena’ lowkey being the be all, end all, you know? So I basically ignored that confusing shit and conceptualized him as a very picky person when it came to love. He doesn’t fall easily - or before Elena, ever. He mentions dating Valerie in high school and I’m sure he went on a few dates here and there in early college, but Elena was a punch in the face for him. He didn’t know what it was about her. He’d never felt that way about anyone before, not even close. Love wasn’t even really the drug-rush, it was her, specifically. That’s why he hasn’t felt it again, that’s why he’s scared he never will - it was entirely tied to Elena. If we wanted to analyze the ‘why’ of it all - why her, why would someone so picky just see someone and feel something they’d never felt before - I would probably say that Stefan grew up with a very specific picture of what he wanted in life, and for whatever reason, she looked exactly like what he’d imagined. The dark hair. The soft features. The romantic eyes. I think it also ties into canon a little, too, since in TVD he was immediately drawn to Elena because she looked exactly like Katherine. Immediate, visual enrapture. So yeah, long story short, I don’t see him as a guy who dates around a lot. I see him as a guy who, pre-Elena, thought he knew exactly what he wanted and never really compromised until he (thought) he found it. And now I see him as a guy who realizes that was an incredibly stupid way to think about love but worries it’s the only approach he’s capable of/that’ll make him feel that incredible feeling.

“But I’m scared I will anyways… And you’re scared you won’t.” Oof. Biggest oof.

I like how Stefan says he doesn’t want to sound like a cliché, but he’s a Disney prince. It only makes sense that he would feel that way, you know? It only makes sense that his life would play out that way. Who are this boys’ parents? How did they indoctrinate him? Or, rather, what thing made him this way?

He’s a mess. This is what happens when you’re the lone golden boy in a family of six and everyone indulges your unrealistic bullshit as cute/funny.

Your writing, for this movie montage of their love, is so perfect. Rude. The imagery! The word-choice! The whole thing reminds me of a caramel-candy commercial, where everything is warm and gooey and slow-motion. Clearly I’m not as cultured to compare to a Sundance film lol, but nonetheless, you did an excellent job describing that warm-toned, rose-colored-glasses kind of love.

Wow, I just realized how much Stefan sounds like the stereotypical ‘male author’. Except he has some decency not to describe the weight of her breasts or her aura during sex (eyeroll). Even his “and he was happy to be her anchor to that for the rest of their lives if she needed him to be”. Idr when, but Stefan shakes off some fairytale notion, saying ‘life doesn’t work that way’ or something – that is character development that we didn’t know we needed!

CAN YOU IMAGINE STEFAN DESCRIBING THE WEIGHT OF ELENA’S BREASTS now I need it

Yeah, honestly, I already said it but I’ll say it again - half the battle of writing that scene was giving Stefan just enough Ted Mosby/Male Author vibes to make him realistically flawed but not going too far as to making him someone you’re actively not rooting for anymore. I think you make a great point, though - he’s growing out of it and recognizing the role he played in his relationship failures and I think that’ll hopefully be what sets him apart.

Also, kudos for the Colorado trip call back. I think it’s very telling how invested and how thought out your process is for these characters by how you using some passing details like, Steroline skirting around their Matt and Elena stories, and then actually using them in their ‘origin’ stories… like, again, you didn’t have to, but you! went! there! and you did a phenomenal job, dude. Again, just a testament to how invested you are. Sure, you could say you wrote it out of order or something brush-off-y, but  to even consider, oh hey continuity is a thing, is great. We stan an Awesome Writer!

lmao I’m so happy you get as much enjoyment as I do from little details like that - I’m usually pretty terrible at it because updating within a normal time frame? Don’t know her. But anytime I see a chance to make a random detail I threw in years ago feel remotely deliberate, I’m all over that shit.

“He felt the barest flicker of defensiveness shoot through him… instead he thought back to the trip”. Hopefully, before I submit this, I would have submitted a list of headcanons I have. One of them is that Stefan’s so well-adjusted via his introspection, that I think one of this parents are a therapist of sorts. I’m just calling it.

oooo, I LIKE that. Largely because Therapist Parents would annoy the everloving hell out of Lexi, lmao - I feel like she’s the prototypical daughter of therapists who goes out of her way to be unpredictable just so her parents can’t psychoanalyze her/figure her out.

I wonder if Stefan still thinks he and Elena could have OTP. Like, he says “or, at least, as much sense as the idea of her and a guy like Liam will ever make to me”. Because if Liam is like canon Liam… she and Liam made total sense (aside from her still being a vampire). Oh but wait… Elena is an artist, not pre-med. Because Elena x Liam made sense in TVD, being pre-med kids, flirty and competitive and ambitious. If she’d never known about the supernatural world, it would make sense for her to be with a Liam, and not a Damon, because Liam is the human version of intense/consuming… Sorry about that canon tangent. Canon, I don’t know her?

Who is she? I think I went to high school with her but we weren’t friends. 

What’s SMA Liam like? Or is Stefan’s bitterness getting in the way of seeing, maybe, that Liam did make sense for Elena?

Re: Liam - it’s basically what you said above. Very different from canon Liam. Definitely played more of the canon Damon role re: this cocky, morally ambiguous bad boy that appealed to the darker/superficial/more selfish parts of Elena (that she felt she had to hide from Stefan). I think at the start of the story, there’s still a part of Stefan that thinks Stelena was OTP but the further it goes and the deeper he falls into this thing with Caroline, the more that part disappears. I think it’s really easy to idolize something when you have nothing to compare it to, and even more so when you have no closure so you stay stuck on it and time keeps passing it and making it more and more immortalized.  With Caroline in the picture now, though, I think it’s shifting his relationship with Elena into a different, more exposing light and revealing some of the insubstantiality of it all. 

Elena’s “it’s was like all those awful parts of me were allowed to exist again” speech is so heartbreaking. I know we’re here to cheer for Stefan, be on his ‘side’, and in no way am I saying cheating is condonable, but it’s another great example of how a writer can make you root for both sides of a broken-up couple. A mentor of mine once told me the sign of a good therapist is for each person in a couple to think you’re on their side. And I’m applying this to writing now. Not, in anyway, can I apply this to Matt (fuck that guy), but I get it for Elena. And it totally makes sense that Stefan was like that, or has a potential to be that way.

This was exactly what I was going for so I’m so happy that’s what your fancy talented therapist brain got out of it. 

I love how Caroline’s conversation of ‘you can be this way and the situation was not your fault’. Basically, to say to Stefan ‘you don’t know if you could have loved the real Elena’ and ‘you didn’t deserve what Elena did’ is such a good conversation to have. Because knowing this Soft Boy and knowing how most people feel when their partners cheat, it would make sense for him to blame himself. It seems he does that by the way he holds himself back from doing that to Caroline.

Wow, he even comes to this realization, “he hadn’t been able to reconcile the idea of both of them being a little right”. Don’t I look dumb lol… time to retreat….

NO because as I was writing that dialogue I kept getting it wrong and either making it sound like Caroline was blaming him completely or too much on his side and I was struggle-bussing to strike the exact balance you’re describing so NOT DUMB AT ALL. Exactly what I was flailingly going for.

Caroline’s “Okay, now, you’re just indulging.” Another headcanon, Steroline have made a rule to say, “do you need a moment” for any self-indulgent emotion in a conversation. But they only allow a moment. That’s it. ~feel and let go~

Wow, Caroline a combination of all the Salvatore Sisters? Works like a Freya, thinks like a Bekah, talks like a Lexi.

😂this just got vaguely Freudian but also, yes.

“I don’t want to be the guy who makes people feel like they have to pretend around him. That guy sucks.”/ “That guy does kind of suck” BUT ALSO “You may have a certain gooey idealism about you that makes people want to, I don’t know, believe in good things.” My fairly-new/just-for-SMA Steroline heart!

There’s hope for them yet.

The Knife Speech: yes. Wouldn’t it have been kinda funny if, instead of pretending to stab herself in the stomach, she pretended to stab him, a perfect foreshadowing. Also her “I’d imagine that’s when you’re really fucked, so… best is yet to come for you, Salvatore.” BUT WAIT. Perhaps the knife stabbing of oneself is the imagery of allowing one’s self to be stabbed, to be gutted, to be vulnerable enough to be in love. (Here goes English-teacher Cassandra again, please forgive her, she’s eager and truly a huge fan).

This is a perfect example of you making me sound like a hundred times better of a writer than I actually am because I legitimately do not remember who she pretended to stab in the gut and I also thought you were going to say ‘wouldn’t it have been kinda funny if she actually stabbed him and he died gurgling in shock’ and was ready to enthusiastically agree.

On a different note: “Wouldn’t you like to know.” / He’d very much like to know. How does one create such sexual tension in one small exchange? Big oof again.

Honestly this makes my life because I always feel like I’m SO BAD at getting these mood whiplash lines to pack enough punch. Like they always do in my head when I can see the delivery and the camera shot and whatnot, but when I write it I’m always like ‘eh. I mean. I guess’. TRUST YOURSELVES FRIENDS.

Bamon in the Bathroom

First off: “In my defense, you goaded me into playing” / “Yeah, well in my defense, I didn’t know I was releasing the fucking Kraken”. L O L

Bonnie’s winning – “But hey, a win was a win, right?” – I love it. Never underestimate Bonnie Cutthroat-Competition Bennett!

“You’re kind of a maniac, you know that?” paired so deliciously with “Didn’t say I wasn’t a maniac, too.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think I forgot how much I loved bamon and all their goodness? Especially your version. Ahhhh!

“You know, for a doctor, you’re really bad for my health.” Bad for your heart! ‘Cause she’s got it racing! Oooo, burn!

That’s such a Kai line I’m dying.

Bonnie getting all defensive and going off about how she doesn’t mind “being the person that someone needs at the end of the day” (serious Stefan vibes, doesn’t he say this at one point also?), and Damon being all, like, heart-eyes and shit, calling her ‘surprising’ and stuff. Good content, yes, yes, please continue.

Ooo, didn’t even make that parallel between Stefan and Bonnie (because I am, in fact, a garbage author) but it’s so cool that you bring that up because on Stefan, that line can easily sound a little self-aggrandizing - it’s coming from (again) a place of privilege, of playing the hero because he’s had this charmed life and it’s the right thing to do, but from Bonnie, it’s almost the exact opposite. She didn’t have that growing up. She was the person without anyone in her corner. So with her, it’s not a hero complex, it’s a victim-turned-survivor motivation. I feel like I’m being really mean to Stefan in these responses lmao I gotta back off, I adore that kid. Just keepin’ it real. 

“Maybe I’ve handled enough” in a playfully dramatic way, and yet, Bonnie’s full realization that (the man of her dreams) Damon probably has been through enough, and she knew what that was like. Sad boy hours.

Sad boy days.

Bonnie avoiding tension by returning to tending to his wound, Damon avoiding tension by returning to his sexy-mysterious-guy vibes. I almost titled this “SMA and the Many, Many Ship Parallels”.

The whole scene that I shall call “I go by daddy, actually” which is just vague enough to make me laugh wildly in this library full of undergrads studying for finals—and because the scene is so ridiculous and hilarious and so, so Bamon, I will die cackling.

I’m brainstorming ways to bring more ‘daddy’ energy into chapter 18.

Belavafore

“Why are you like this?” / “We’re embracing the great outdoors!” Use what he loves against him, honey, you’re doing great.

“Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry.” / “No, you’re not.” / “No, I’m not.” / “Would it help if I said I’m proud of you? … I really am.”

I love how much lighter Steroline has become. Like Caroline just casually throwing the responsibility of “Go for it” / “Forgive yourself for something” to Stefan is so… unlike her. I feel like she’s the type that shows people up whenever they’re afraid to do something, like tell their waitress this is not what they ordered. Because that’s exactly it. This whole forgiving themselves thing was not what Caroline ordered- just a side of cheesy jokes on Stefan.

GIRL YOU AND ME BOTH, I was so tired of writing their tension oh my Gooooooodsicles. I basically spent sixteen chapters trying to earn the ability to write them this light and this comfortable and this open with each other so I SAW MY CHANCE AND TOOK IT.  

“I can’t believe we’re listening to happy4eva dot com.” / “We’re not, we’re listening to me” / “Is that any better?” I agree with Caroline and am fully happy to admit I am in love with Stefan’s sass.

“Some of us are capable of taking this seriously” / “What makes you think I wasn’t serious about the printer ink?”

Leash him.

Caroline’s “Here was all she needed to be” realization and acceptance is giving me so much life, I’m teeming with so much love and pride and straight up inspiration, dude, bless.

Caroline’s cathartic sobbing, and Stefan’s, “I think you might be forgiving yourself.” My whole heart is just FULL and maybe I TOO started crying, YOU CANNOT PROVE ANYTHING.

Filed under: scenes I wrote horribly the first few times and still was not convinced I got right by the time I finally posted it so thank God it made someone feel something because ya girl was skressed.

Bonnie going onto the fire escape without coat or shoes, despite hating the cold, just to be there for Caroline, to hug her and be happy for her forgiveness journey is the most Bonnie thing, and I am living for it.

Tag-line for Damon: “She could always count on Damon to be a shithead”.

Bonne saying her date was horrible, Damon mentioned Kai still being present – so mom and dad of them! Did I mention this in a previous review? Maybe. Ugh, I love them so much, I don’t mind if I ramble the same few things about it and your incredible writing of them.

Baroline deciding for the boys ‘this is something we are doing’. *arc snap* love it!

<3

“You jump, I jump, Jack.” I’ll be honest with ya, when I first read this, I was like, dude I love you madly but it feels a little too late to bring this friendship quirk up in here, but then I was like, who the fuck says? You did a great job explaining the context of it, and I love it! Please bring it back! You know, when you write more…

LMFAO no girl I thought the exact same thing, so much so that I went back and edited it into the chapter where Bonnie apologizes to Caroline after her bender. It was totally too late to introduce but I was like ‘I don’t really know what else to put here so we’re gonna pretend this has always been a thing, join me friends in this who cares revisionist approach to writing’.

Steroline being protective of Bonnie’s feelings paralleling with Damon’s protectiveness of Bonnie’s physical wellbeing. It’s just much like, ‘I’m not good at the emotions thing, may I offer you a blanket and some boots instead?” Very in-character of him, this is good, good stuff.

YES, exactly what I was going for! I feel like my entire reaction to your review is either going to be YES EXACTLY YOU WORDSMITH or ACTUALLY I AM FAR TOO DUMB TO HAVE DONE THAT ON PURPOSE BUT I LOVE IT LET’S GO WITH IT.

Bonnie using the ‘you were mean to me’ to get Damon to participate!!!

Caroline’s only known Damon for a month?????? This would make sense, a little, but also it feels like so much longer. (this isn’t me side-eyeing the author, she’s busy and doing important things, but also…)

😂😂😂😂

Bonnie’s prompting of Damon, “And?” felt very much like when you’re at the doctor’s office, and they’re listening to your heart, and they’re prompting you to take a deep breath “again” and quiet and waiting. Was this on purpose? Even his “how many do I have to do?” and her “Just one more.” Feels very much like when they’re in the bathroom, and he’s being a literal child under her medical care.

This definitely falls under the ‘not smart enough to have done that on purpose but I love it so let’s go with it’ category.

“Fuck you world, I’m perfect!” inspired by our resident sociopath (who has no regrets, naturally lol). LOVE. It really aligns with Caroline’s “here” realization, and later, Damon’s “okay, noted” response. It’s kinda messy of them, considering they’re clearly not, but the acceptance and willingness to say, fuck you world, I don’t need to conform to whatever, is so nice. So, so good. So much growth. And the title name-drop! And all of them cheering one another on (especially Stefan)!

“…Damon sasses, making Bonnie’s bright laugh even louder, and in that exact moment, with Damon’s hand caught in some kind of Z-snap and Bonnie gasping for air and Stefan’s eyes crinkled from the size of his grin, she felt something shift for her… And looking at the laughing faces surrounding her, their movements arrested in some kind of vibrant slow-motion, the glint of the flurrying snow around them like magic, she couldn’t help but think that it had to be something good.” (okay maybe now I will admit to more crying).

Kai vs the Neighbor and Caroline’s realization of ‘this guy is crazy I like him’. She doesn’t like a cat, but Kai, she’s here for. “That was amazing!” / “Thanks! I still don’t understand you.” love it!

I think I’ve edited this scene (what don’t I edit) since you read it but I think all the parts that stood out to you were ones I mostly kept the same, so that makes me really happy. I had a blast writing it, particularly Kai vs. The Neighbor and everyone just giving in to hedonistic self-acceptance for that one, sparkling minute. It felt needed and I’m so glad it seemed to trigger all the right emotions. 

Scrabble, Backstories, THE Kiss

I know this is not what I was supposed to take away from this, but I like Bonnie’s dark moments, lol. Like her joke about her mom not being around. Like, it makes her more real. Like Stefan’s sass makes him more real. No one is just the One Trait that ‘defines’ them, whatever the fuck that means.

I love writing those moments. I talked about this a few paragraphs up, but a big part of why I love writing Bonnie and Damon is exactly those moments - the ones where she can make a joke about her absentee mom and Damon can laugh at the idea of Kai assassinating them. They need that. They need to be able to do that. It doesn’t feel real to me otherwise. It doesn’t feel special, you know? Why are they so drawn to each other if not for precisely that? Their ability to be every part of themselves around each other - the hopeful parts, the selfish parts, the angry parts, the vulnerable parts - is what makes them tick the most, so I’m excited I’ve gotten to the point in their development where they can do that. There’s a scene pretty early in chapter 18 where they have another one of those moments, where Bonnie lets Damon get this sort of ugly/twisted glimpse at her that she’s hiding from everyone else, and she does it with this casualness that I really enjoyed writing. She’s not afraid of judgement. She’s not afraid of what he’s going to think. She knows he gets it, and he does, and it’s simple but I think it means so much more than grand gestures or big sex scenes do for them (but those are fun too lol).

Aw Damon wanting to know more about Bonnie. We see a lot of Bonnie’s curiosity about Mr. Enigma, but he’s embarking on this conversation without really knowing where it’d go or what he wants from it.

That’s a big shift that’s carrying into 18 - Damon’s officially starting to get hooked. It’s been so fun writing him in this shifting context of developing confusing feelings because he’s kind of a disaster about it - especially because Bonnie’s distracted by all the Steroline drama so she’s not even full cognizant of it. 

Wow, why am I just noticing this: “He thought about the fire escape, about the things she’d claimed to forgive herself for, and dwelled in the awareness that they’d all been just as performative as his” !!!! excuse me! NOT OKAY. I guess they haven’t had the chance to talk it out like Steroline did, and maybe that’s part of the reason it was more difficult to jump onto the forgiveness train right away.

Yeah, they still have a long way to go. Honestly, I don’t even know if forgiveness really fits what they need. Bamon strikes me more as just needing to accept themselves, and I think being able to accept each other so casually and completely will play a big role in that. 

“He wasn’t sure when she’d started taking up actual real estate in his thoughts, but it was kind of a disorienting realization.” !!!

“He used to let himself feel every last lick of it [his anger], blistering and white-hot… it’d bite and fester at the inside of his skin till it wore itself out slowly bled out of his pores” that’s good stuff there, dude, great description.

“That was all before he’d met Katherine, though. Before she’d shown him how to turn it all of instead.” Nice nod to that dumpster fire of canon. Datherine was such an interesting thing that could have been cool. The debauchery, honestly, instead of Damon desiring to be ‘good’ or some shit.

I honestly don’t even remember their canon dynamic and I think it’s probably better that way.

“She’d moved on from the question. He’d had an out. But for some reason, he had this weird, anxious feeling, like an opportunity was flashing past him and he didn’t want to just let it. So he kept going.” We stan character development and growth. You go, baby!

I wonder what it was like for Damon, to re-testify. Was he all shelled-up, the Damon who jokes his way through, who doesn’t give a single fuck about anything, or was he Lily’s scared son, traumatized and hurt, unable to make eye-contact or even lift his head during his testimony?

I think he was forcibly numb to the whole thing until he saw her. Probably being sarcastic under oath, acting like this was a waste of his time, but distinctly edgier than usual. I don’t think he was planning on seeing her and I don’t think he was even supposed to, given the whole witness protection thing, but knowing Lily, she probably dreamed up a way to make sure she was being transported at the exact moment she knew he’d be there, and seeing her and how entirely unchanged, unrepentant, undulled she was after seventeen years, daring to look at him like a project she was coolly proud of, just flipped him out a little. 

“She looked protective./ He wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked protective of him before.” AHHHHHHH.

Once you have a Gryffinpuff in your corner there’s no shaking them.

Damon’s “Here” paralleling to Caroline’s “Here”. Two sides of the same coin, though. Caroline’s “here” was liberating and existing meant so much for her, but Damon’s “here” is just existing, not feeling or holding on to anything.

Okay, I will admit this one I did on purpose.

“Kai could probably kill them both if we asked.” Dark!Bonnie, yas queen, slay!

“They didn’t just ‘happen’ / “I did them. I actively ruined those people’s lives.” I know it seems like I’m grasping here, but this just really seems to echo Caroline’s speech to Stefan, that Elena made choices. Bonnie made choices too. Does this mean Elena is just as redeemable as Bonnie is? Stay tuned to probably never find out.

Elena Redemption Arc 2029

Damon: “In fact, it’s [accepting the ‘bad’ parts of her] not going to change you at all—they’re already part of you, they’ve always been part of you. I’m not saying they’re shiny or pretty but honestly, fuck shiny and pretty.” Stefan’s rejection of Elena’s ‘darkness’, Damon’s acceptance of Bonnie’s ‘non-shiny, non-pretty’ elements. I’m just saying dude, conscious or subconscious—your Inner Writer is doing amazing, sweetie, please keep it up forever, thanks.

“Goodness wasn’t default coded into you but having some perfect life that never tempted you to be anything else.” / “To me, that’s a hell of a lot prettier and shinier than someone who never had ugly as an option.” *sings quietly* Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? 

lmfaoooo why do your expressions always murder me

‘I’m too tired to be funny’ fuck you this entire review is either poignant af or hilarious I was ill-prepared I was MISLED

“Your desperation to paint me out as some kind of reluctant hero is your real flaw—in fact, that should be the part of yourself you’re ashamed of.” OKAY THEN STOP BEING ONE

He’s so dumb. And we haven’t even gone into the Tyler arc. 

Baroline quoting Defan to throw their own words back at them like ninja stars, pinning them to their words’ truths.

We love a good Pin The Truth Bomb on the Idiot game.

 “I’m just saying there’s a chance you aren’t a complete supervillain.” / “I’d be a great supervillain.”

(I just had an overwhelming sense of maybe, someone in this very library, could be a SMA fan also. How wild would that be???)

I wrote this HP fanfic a long time ago that got weirdly popular and someone once left a review saying they saw someone else reading the new update at the airport and they ended up talking about it together for a little while and it was the greatest moment of my entire life

“He wasn’t sure what made him do it. Wasn’t sure if it was a pride thing, a contrarian thing, or a product of whatever weird mindfuck of a thing had been brewing between them over the course of the night, but before he even knew what was happening, he slid his hands up her face and caught her mouth in a swift, deliberate counterargument.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damon’s analysis of Bonnie: more exclamation marks

“And that even without the varnish, even with all bitterness and fear and anxiety bursting through his cracks like light, he was worth seeing.” Actual tears in my actual eyes. I am not a crier, Gabi, what have you done

He’s a love-starved stray, LOVE HIM. PET HIM. 

Bonnie being all weirded out by the intimacy of the kiss, Damon apologizing about it, “He felt a flicker of resentment over the charm of her awkwardness.”

“If he didn’t know any better, he’d think it was the beginnings of another panic attack.” It’s the knife! (you know the Vine where the kid is running alongside a pool, and the woman behind the camera says, “what’cha got there?” and the kid is like “a knife!” and she’s like “no!” that’s this.)

I’M DEAD.

INEVITABLE. BOOM.

LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS

Steroline and the Case of the Heart-Eyes

“Laughing on that fire escape was the happiest he thought he’d ever seen her.”

Stefan being unable to deal with Caroline’s weirdo silence. Being nervous and worried about it, being super boyfriendy without actually noticing it. Him finally, full out, asking her what’s her deal.

“I’m out of reasons.” It’s so simple, yet so awwwww inducing.

Stefan going into straight up panic mode is so hilarious to me, even though it’s supposed to be more on the serious side lol. Like, I can just imagine Paul Wesley’s scrunched face, pushing away, avoiding any sort of physical interaction—and I’m cackling.

oh my God now I’m cackling

why is he like that

lmao I just see eyebrows I can’t

“I’m not that guy.” / “I’m the guy who can barely breathe right now because of the smell of your shampoo / who literally can’t open his eyes because if I look at you right now, I’m going to kiss you / who’s a few involuntary stares away from having the exact pattern of your freckles memorized—in fact, I honestly might already. Six on the right, six of the left, rebel freckle.” My heart. Gabi, stoppppp! I didn’t even ship this ship before SMA!

He writes his Boy Scout-ass self blame him.

“I’m pretty sure what makes me happy is you.” I cry so many tears. “I think I might finally be at the point where I’m more scared of missing out on that than I am of what letting it in might do.”

“His heart began humming in his throat at the way she was looking at him.”

“The hope in her eyes grabbed his stupid heart but its stupid heart throat and why the hell did he even pretend he had any actual choice in any of this?” There you go, buddy, finally getting with the program. A parallel to Bamon, and Damon’s wtf is happening to me caring about this cupcake of a person?

“No banning of the full spectrum of human emotion.” / “Do your worst, Disney prince.” / “Don’t know if you can handle that.”

Another artful sex scene. I know they’re not your Fav to write, but you do a real good job. Especially for these two and this moment of it being Real.

Bless, I just never know how they’re going to come across. So easy for them to feel cheesy. Glad this one didn’t tip too far into that territory. 

Caroline’s “No” and Stefan’s “a soundless projection of determination so palpable it bent the air into a word.”

“Her eyes were mosaics, art made out of jagged pieces – chipped trust and cracked pride glued together into something flawed and lovely.” Stefan has ruined every romantic thing for me. Thanks, bud.

He sucks.

Caroline’s ‘shift’ (which I am now just realizing she refers to as ‘a lock snapping undone’; giiiiiiiirl) and Stefan’s “and he felt the knife go straight through his gut.”

I can’t read that metaphor now without thinking about her legit stabbing him like a black widow and just completely 180ing this into a slasher fic.

Bonnie and the Contract

Short scene, yes. Bonnie’s absentmindedness, not just because of Damon, but because she doesn’t have eyes for this lol. It’s so casual how you described it too, “just some clothes, abandoned mugs, scatter of papers”, the usual, ya know, nothing to see here lol. Damon’s attempt to keep her from looking at the contract. Like, he was all mischief and trickery a few days ago, waiting for this very moment, and now, he’s all ‘oh uh you may wanna….’ tongue-tied. Short scene, yes. Great cliff-hanger, absolutely. Awesome way to close off what felt like whole movie worth of content? A million percent yes, sign me up for more!

Writing it def felt like a whole movie’s worth of content lmao so getting to that short, final, zippy cliffhanger scene was glorious. Felt like delivering a placenta. Like I’d already birthed the thankless succubus of a baby and all I needed now was the placenta I barely had to push to get out, you know? This metaphor got lowkey gross but fun fact one of the women whose placenta I delivered in OB wanted to keep it so her and her husband could eat it and I was like coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.

Okay, so this is a monster of a review for a masterpiece of a chapter (100+ pages, right?). Coupling happy and silly scenes with these intense confessions was amazing, and your fear of the emotional scenes not clicking is unwarranted! You’re truly a phenomenal writer, and I know I tell you all the time, but you need to hear it always and forever! I was recently telling my sister writing is my actual passion, and by the way in which you write, it seems like it’s, at least, one of your passions too. Like yeah, medicine is gonna be great, you’re gonna be awesome, and maybe I too will be successful as a therapist, but your passion and talent shines through your writing. YOU! ARE! GREAT! TRULY!

I will not apologize for such a long review, like I always do (13 pages babyyy), but I will apologize for basically rewriting the chapter in this review. I tried my best to simplify and summarize, but bro, so! many! good morsels of gorgeous similes and metaphors and descriptions and dialogue, and did I mention I am in love with your characters? your writing? your goddamn brain? Lol.

(Okay, I think I’m done. This took me almost three weeks to write.)

I truly hope you’re doing well, and if you’re writing, YAS, but if you’re not, you know what? You do you, girl, slay in whatever you’re doing. I am your support! I am your cheerleader! I’m here to bolster any sort of feeling you need! Love ya, toodles ;)

(If you’re new here and you got to the end of this review, hey I’m Cassandra, and you’ve made the best decision to read this fic. Gabi, look away, you’re not supposed to see my gushing about your story yet again. You, Reader, good on ya!)

Girl, I don’t even know what to say at this point. Your reviews are always just so lovely, so funny, so thoughtful, so insightful, so goddamn smart - I’m honored to have you as a reader, dude. Truly. Knowing you’re going to be reading challenges me to write better (and that’s actually true of a lot of you, if you’re reading this!). I adore having your therapist brain reading this, too, because it’s such a character-driven story and I’m writing about a lot of things I’ve never actually been through but have done my best to inhabit, and having your perspective is so wonderful. You find the motivations and you see the dimensionality and half the time your reviews actually give me ideas because you see things I don’t. So basically, all of this to say thank you. I adore you. You’re wonderful. And the one good thing about having taken so friggin’ long to post this response that I AM ACTUALLY WRITING lmao, and despite your busy life of saving people’s sanity and BEING FRIGGIN’ MARRIED, I hope you are, too! Love ya, babe. This was so kind. You’re a universe. 

#reply #review #six mornings after #17 #can I just call this a drabble #we're gonna do it #drabble #submission

[eggshellsreview]

Steven Universe: The Movie Review

For those who experienced the Steven Universe series as it aired, the season 5 finale was the last bit of new content fans had left for a long while. However, this year revived the spark of the series with a movie finally giving the fans a continuation the long going series in the form of an hour and a half musical special.

This movie in short is just the essence of almost all things Steven Universe. From character behavior, to the art, to the music, to the conflicts, to the resolutions, compacted with lots of love, fan service, some more answers the fans had, and of course, more questions for us to ask.

One of the biggest strengths of the movie to me is that it does an excellent job not only recapping the series for anyone who's watching this without context, but also stimulating the fans' heart by having the recapping not only be a pleasant feels trip, but also have it tie intergrally into the plot of the movie giving it more incentive to happen rather than feeling forced. The reason I bring that up first is because its the best example I can think of that showcases my general favorite part of this movie; even though it was a straight to TV movie, it treats and handles itself as a theatrically released movie that anyone could've stumbled into to out of curiosity. So although I HEAVILY recommend against anyone skipping the series intentionally, the movie manages to also make itself be able to be enjoyed by someone who has never watched the series prior. This is incredibly important to me because I find a very core rule of a movie of a previously established franchise is that it should always be better with context, but shouldn't be unenjoyable without it and this movie makes sure to take that into consideration very much.

Steven Universe: The Movie's theatrical comparisons don't end just there though. So much of it's backgrounds, colors, designs, were touched up in lots of way to tell you "hey, this isn't just an hour and a half long episode, this is a movie and we will give you movie tier quality all around". I felt this to be especially true for every song the movie had to offer. Although many associate songs with Steven Universe, the show definitely spaces them out pretty far, always leaving us wanting more. In the case of the movie, however, it's a straight up musical, with a big array of amazing songs that WILL stick around in your head for a very long time. Going back to the point of how theatrical the movie is, each song is given it's own unique setting and feel, but are all entirely strung together by the context of the overarching plot causing each moment to happen. As per usual, I won't get into spoilers, but the song "Independent Together" stunned me with how much effort went into everything that was going on in the movie that I was just thinking about how phenomenal it would have been to watch this in the big screen.

Now that we've gone through the wholesome aspects of the movies, I can talk about the cause of the movie itself. The antagonist: Spinel. With her unique animation and personality, Spinel single handedly gives our protagonists a very grounded, yet very scary, just as unique, set of obstacles to overcome. For reasons anyone who's already watched this knows, she's unfortunately the hardest part of the movie to talk about without getting into crucial spoilers, but I definitely CAN get into how incredible of a perfomance she puts on. The voice acting we were gifted from Spinel gives us arguably the best musical vocals in the entire movie to the point that I've found myself sharing with my friends youtube videos where they remove the instrumental to her biggest song just to appreciate the raw talent in her vocals.

Unfortunately though, despite being an immense highlight of the film, Spinel also does carry some of the flaws of the movie's story. I do want to clarify that these flaws aren't with the character herself, but rather the position of our characters in the movie affecting her role in it.

This movie takes place after a short time skip from the series finale, and because of this, it comes with hardship of having to write around a lot of things and if you pay attention, you start to see that Spinel had a lot of plot armor and awkward shifts throughout the movie in order to enable her to pursue the objectives she's sought after. This is entirely understandable however, without these very specific moments where things just work out in Spinels favor, then the movie will just ultimately have too many plotholes. As I said earlier, Spinel is a relatively grounded villain and because of this not having things favor her to give her an edge over the protagonists, while still being a threat would just lead to immense inconsistencies with the feats we've seen our protagonists accomplish from both physical power and intellect. Because of this I think its, at the very least, understandable to why the movie had these convenient moments in order to have the movie happen as a whole at all. Beyond that though, I have no other big complaints. I've noticed a handful of people state that Steven was a bit out of character in this movie in a couple moments, but ultimately, it straight up boils down to the idea that he's now an older teenager. Given the circumstances building up to this point of his life, and those happening during the movie, this was a refreshing reminder that he's still a kid shaping his personality and image of the world and his life. I think Steven's performance in this movie was not only a realistic stage of his development, but also an incredibly big stepping stone for even more development in the now revealed Steven Universe: Future series we're waiting for.

With all that laid out, I believe I've said as much as I can without any spoilers so I'll leave it with this. Steven Universe was an incredible experience that I entirely plan to revisit in its entirety, and this movie (despite some flaws) made itself a very imperative factor in what I'd consider to be the Steven Universe experience that only made me further love the series as a whole. With all things considered, I gladly rate this movie a 8.5/10

With this being the last Steven Universe review I can do, I'll be moving onto a new series and hopefully some movies to keep this blog going, HOWEVER, it will most definitely not be the last time I share analytical insight on the series as my love for it certainly leaves me with the desire to now revisit more specific moments I want to discuss that were just too much detail for these reviews. Thank you everyone who's stopped by my blog and shared their support because Steven Universe was definitely what picked up my traction and motivated to keep this blog running after all. I hope you guys stick around, even if just for when I post more about S.U. see you all soon on a later post!

#steven universe #spinel #cartoon network #cartoon #review #gems #steven #songs #musical #movie #animated #eggshellreview #love #happy #feels #im gonna miss this show #steven universe future #crystal #what now

[lettersofsky]

DistantPastZine - Orphaner Dualscar - At the Whims of the Seas

Second of the extra pieces I did for the @distantpastzine. 

Rating:Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning:No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom:Homestuck Character:Orphaner Dualscar Additional Tags:A lack of nautical puns Language:English

When one’s life is dictated by the ebb and flow of a power greater than anything one can create, you kind of figure out there’s no need to worry about much else beside that.

~

The Orphaner Dualscar had a busy lot in life, well-earned and exactly what he’d always wanted and worked towards but busy all the same.

It was a difficult task to keep on top of all his many responsibilities and duties when the sway of the Ocean’s tides and currents were never as forgiving as one would like them to be but, in his most humble of opinions, he felt his long sweeps of existence at his disposal to assist him in getting through life and his duties in kind. So that he may continue to perform to the best of his abilities, better than the best of his abilities even as they never had been up to snuff, and continue to prove that he’d earned his position and place on the mortal plane as fleeting as they may be.

Which only made returning to the whisperings of a potential up and coming rival, as side-splittingly hilarious as it was that these wrigglers would even dare to think to claim being anywhere near equal standing, following him through the halls of the submerged docks.

“… already with a ship of his own…”

“… 3 lusii in this extended cycle alone…”

“… the Officials have even put in a good word for him…”

Oh yes, impressive feats each and every one of them. Without the much-needed context behind each that would give any real merit or worth for consideration.

How had he acquired his ship? Had he built it with his own claws? Stolen it from another troll? Had he gained it through mutiny? Had he found an abandoned ship with no one to contend his claiming of it? Or had it been handed to him along with that good word? Had fortune and luck joined to simply hand the opportunity to him upon a platter of silver fish scale?

He certainly hadn’t earned it like Dualscar had; hadn’t worked his way from the bottom rung up to a captaincy all of his own. Hadn’t lucked out the way Dualscar had at being the most senior onboard when the previous captain had been lost to the ocean waves. Really, trolls should stop being so impressed with the notion of a troll having a ship to their name; Mindfang did after all and she was the lowest of the low, completely undeserving of the honour and prestige of having a ship, an entire crew, under her command.

As for the lusii, there’d been numerous times Dualscar himself had returned with a number of them for Gl’bgolyb. Just another matter of lucky timing and good fortune, which so many seemed to both wilfully ignore and overlook in kind.

“… going to do about ‘im?”

He paused at the voice much closer than the passing whispers had been, turning his head and looking down at the younger troll at his back. As close to a second-hand as Dualscar would allow himself to keep; loyal only as far as it was in his favour to be and waiting for the first scent of blood in the water to turn on him, just as the rest of them were.

His fins fluttered as he considered the question, knowing better than to dismiss it out loud else he make himself a potential target for no reason. “As long as he is performing his duties in an admirable fashion then there is no reason to bother w-with him. The Empress and Gl’bgolyb are, at all times, our most important priority.”

“Yeah,” his second was younger, prouder, had yet to have that flame of aggressive territorialism beaten out of him by the cruel, uncaring tides of the Ocean and the Empress’ utter disregard towards those that worked tirelessly to ensure that her monstrosity of a lusus remained fed and silent in the deepest reaches of the oceans. “But what if he makes moves against us? How are you going to answer that?”

“W-what a w-wrigglerish question,” Dualscar scoffed, turning away to continue his stride through the halls, steps measured and even, unhurried and practiced, just the right length to them to indicate exactly how foolish he thought the question without making it too difficult for his second to keep pace if he wished to continue the conversation. Which, from the increased, quickened footfalls behind him, the younger troll did.

“If this w-would be Orphaner w-wishes to try his hands at sailing w-with the real sea-faring folk then he is w-well w-within his rights to try to.” Dualscar wouldn’t mind a weak attempt at actual competition for once, if the wriggler could last on the ocean long enough to pose anything like a threat at all. No matter how imbued this young upstart turned out to be with natural talent and standing within the collection of Sea-Dweller society the upstart was, the Ocean was a cruel mistress, cold and uncaring, and if at any moment she decided that a troll’s time was up then there was little one could do to change her mind.

It took a certain touch to navigate the Ocean, one trained under years of command and one that didn’t come pre-packaged in a troll’s genetic makeup.

“You’re really just going to let him be? Are you sure that’s a smart thing to do?”

He kept himself focused forward, carefully keeping his features blank else the other troll catch wind of his irritation and the clear, singular moment where his decision to be rid of the younger troll was reached. There was no reason to clue the other troll in to the fact the Dualscar would start to make moves towards his permanent dismissal from his duties as second-hand to their ship soon enough; the troll still held a wealth of knowledge he could use to ruin Dualscar if he were give both the chance and opportunity to.

With a new upstart making waves in the waters it was best to remove potential threats to both himself and his position as quickly as he was able to.

“W-we aren’t like those land-bound sav-vages, there’s no need for infighting w-when it can be av-voided. The Ocean’s big enough for the tw-wo of us to nev-ver cross paths for the entirety of his v-voyage.”

Up until the new troll in question decided that it might be an idea to weasel himself into Dualscar’s waters, but that was implied and hardly needed to be spoken out loud.

It seemed to appease the troll following him though as he quickly fell silent and chose not to question Dualscar further on the matter of the new upstart for the rest of the journey through the halls.

They weren’t planned to be docked long, just enough to unload what lusii Dualscar had managed to secure for the Gl’bgolybe and restock their own supplies before setting back out onto the endless expanse of space and waves that was the Ocean.

Which was exactly what Dualscar wanted. He didn’t want to deal with being on land, even if the halls of the Sea-Dweller port were mostly submerged beneath the waves themselves. There was a difference, subtle as it was, between the true freedom of open, endless water and the simulated, contained nature of the submerged buildings Sea-Dwellers created to accommodate their needs.

One of those differences being the attitude of the trolls around him even though Dualscar had long since lost whatever care he might have had towards the fact that he would never be as respected as some of the others due to his lack of natural talent and the fact that he’d earned his rank and station through his own hard work and dedication instead of having it gifted to him.

He cared little for them and their ideals, they mattered not when it came to the task of sailing and manoeuvring a ship through waves, storms and the beasts that lurked far from the laws of the lands, both troll and beast alike.

So let the new upstart come if he so wished to, Dualscar would gladly see the Ocean swallow him whole just as it would the corpse of his soon to be de-ranked second.

The Ocean was wide enough for them both if the upstart had any sense about him, and if not then she’d decide who would come out on trop of this faux rivalry when the time came for her to, impartial and uncaring as she ever was and so very, very alike their Empress herself.

Praise be to her name.

~

When he next returned to port, a new second at his shoulder, it was to a noticeable absence in rumours and whispering about that young violet that had held ambitions at becoming his rival.

“He must’ve run into a bit of trouble out on the water?” His new second, a violet she-troll of fewer sweeps than her predecessor had been, commented her fins fluttering softly as if trying to find some muttering of the other troll’s fate.

“V-very likely,” Dualscar agreed, barely resisting the urge to press at the fact that he’d been so very correct in his assumption that the little would be Orphaner would not last long upon the actual Ocean herself, certainly not to the extent dualscar himself had anyways. “A shame. I w-was looking forw-ward to a change of pace for once. Seems w-we’ll hav-ve to w-wait for another opportunity to show-w our merit, w-won’t w-we?”

“Yes Captain, we’ll get another chance soon enough.” His new second was much more polite and orderly than his previous had been, another added bonus to the new arrangement. Definitely enough to make up for the fact that his previous second hadn’t even had the opportunity to learn of this development and change his tun regarding it before the Ocean took him.

A shame indeed.

#distantpastzine #Orphaner Dualscar #Dualscar #Homestuck #fanfic

[sherryaptx4869]

Making it through love

It’s GinTae month!

Behold, a very short compilation of GinTae moments from the Gintama manga, anime and movie. Try as I might, I cannot do justice for the pair by words because to borrow a line from Westlife’s Home, “the words are cold and flat, and they deserve more than that.” So I looked for pictures detailing in a nutshell why GinTae (aside from OkiKagu) is my OTP. Since they have a lot like really a lot! of moments (aka they know each other heart by heart), I just chose from my pile of screenshots to accurately depict the prompt given which is kind of hard because the prompts blur and overlap with each other. Take these with a grain of salt, because the context of the episode where I took it from might not exactly be as romantic as I want it to be. Remember, this is fan-made. Fanon is not canon. But I wonder about that in this case because the Easter egg hints came directly from the creator of the series himself haha I’m also proud to say that no fan arts are included here to drive my point home that Gintoki and Tae are as canon as we can get from Sorachi very close to being married officially.

This is just the tip of the GinTae iceberg that will sink other ships. This does not capture the entirety of GinTae moments in the manga, anime, movie, OVA, live-action movie and even the audio CDs. Treat this as a preview of many GinTae moments.

For now, I hope you have fun with this one as much as I did when I was scouring my hoard of Gintama images. This is dedicated to all the GinTae fans. If you don’t like this content, just ignore then scram. Credits go to Sorachi-sensei and to the production of the anime where I took the screenshots from.

First Meeting: Watch out! Your soulmate might just appear from behind you while riding your scooter!

Realization: If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question (as manifested by Gintoki and Tae time and time again from the start of the series up to this point).

The Reveal: Put a ring on it! It must be great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Date: Put your best foot forward!

Reminder: Booze and sweet stuff for both the lady and the gent.

New to the Family: A pretty serious relationship with someone long-term requires an introduction to the family. And whoah! There’s a whole spectrum of shenanigans they get into.

Jealousy: (Play Nick Jonas’s Jealous for the feels haha) It’s not Gin-san’s fault that the ladies hover. But it is Tae’s every right to be hellish because she’s (*whispers*) jealous the wife.

As for Gin-san… he’s making his fist and his dirty tricks do the talking to protect the woman he cared about. (Look at Kagura’s unimpressed face (and Shinpachi’s shrieking) haha, I bet the paragon of adult wisdom she considered to be Gintoki just crumbled to dust.)

Laughter:  Sometimes your silver samurai turns out to be just an idiot perm-haired samurai.

First Kiss: Exactly what it sounds like— but no, there are no kisses in the anime. Paging Hattori Zenzo, please tell us since you saw the whole exchange

Thirdwheeling: Come with us, they said. It would be fun they said. Tag yourself, am I being extra?

Flustered: The sweetness of strawberry parfait oozing out of the Smeggy Samurai’s words and gestures makes him sappy with Pony-chan whose cheeks are tinted with blush yihee *heart*

Rest: Gin-san resting before he gets tired lols. But hey, it’s usually the Kodokan Dojo, the Shimura’s residence where Gintoki lounges about. We also see Tae checking up on the Yorozuya trio regularly as well as to pay her respects to Gintoki’s mom figure- Otose.

Shopping: GinTae shopping for clothes together. Two years later, it is also while shopping for clothes that Tae through a series of unfortunate events brought home Gin-san (and Hijikata) wearing undies on his face.

Food: It’s not only love that is shared, also carbs.

Cherry blossom viewing (Hanami): The Sakata family wringing the beauty out of life. They seize the day over bento boxes (courtesy of Mom Tae) and sake-filled glasses (courtesy of Dadtoki). Of course, the day is completed with a showdown with their frienemy the Shinsengumi. And to cap the day off, look at the reverence and fondness the three are giving to Gin-san.

Rainy Day: Rainy days won’t keep our Queen of Kabuki-cho from hanging out with her family. Mom Tae even had a bento prepared. How thoughtful and sweet!

Super Powers: Plagiarize your way to success. In real life, don’t! It’s a crime. Here is Dragon Ball x Bleach x One Piece = DragonBleaPiece. Yeah, only in Gintama!

Holding Hands: When your hand finds the hand it was meant to hold, don’t let go. (I was singing Heart by Heart performed by Demi Lovato on this part so you’ll find a lot of references to the song <3)

Spellbound: We don’t need any spells for GinTae to be together. See here they even act silly together. Also in an AU, Gin the bully is controlled kept in check by class-president Tae. In the Love Potion arc, no amount of love potion can dope Gin-san to forget that the hand he is supposed to hold is Tae’s.

Surprise Gift: Tae is up to something… Surprisingly enough (or maybe not), it is her infamous Dark Matter that makes one hate surprises when they are presented the honor of eating Tae’s magnum opus.

Dispute: 

Yagyuu arc, Gintoki: It’s like Tae doesn’t hear a word I say. Her mind is somewhere far away. Like she doesn’t even care.

Benizakura arc, Tae: I know this whole city thinks it needs you but not as much as I (and Shinpachi and Kagura) do.

Gin-san went out anyways, and Tae let him.

(Btw, collage is not mine. CTTO. I’m sorry I forgot from whom I took the photo from)

Angst: Gintoki (disguising as Takasugi) is in a predicament. He doesn’t want Tae to find out he is back in Edo after two years of wandering about. No, not yet. Certainly not in those clothes (or the lack thereof).

Rescue: It’s not always the damsel that is in distress. Sometimes, gotta rescue the perm-hair and his friend the long-hair.  Oh the things we do for love!

Tragedy: This was when Kagura faked her illness that led to her “dying” (as orchestrated by the Sadist Prince Okita) and after the Liberation war. Meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.

Support: Behind a man’s downfall or success is a woman. Tae’s are the only eyes that can see into and through Gintoki and vice versa. They read each other like a book. They support each other in any way that they can. They even got each other’s hearts backs.

Cliche: They’re unaware of how cliché they’re being when it comes to their romantic feelings. Everyone can see that they have this thing going on, only they can’t see it. Talk about dense. Go on, don’t be shy just say it out loud.

Memories: Let’s intrude on our favourite kind of gathering – walking down memory lane with Tae and Gin-san. Pretend they are looking over a photo album to see how far they’ve come. Looking on are Madao Hasegawa-san and Catherine.

The Power of Two: GinTae accomplishing a goal that neither of them would’ve been capable of doing alone. Just look at the picture, I have nothing more to say haha

“I love you”s: Can Gin-san be more roundabout in saying those words to Tae so they can live together as man and wife. Probably go ask the other half of your sadist duo aka Okita Sogo how to propose/ say you love her the unconventional way. (I’m referring to how Okita proposed to Kagura. Oh well, that’s for another post)

Different Ways of Saying “I love you”: I’m stumped. I don’t know what to say. Every one of their interaction is gold. Just show how you feel and make it real. And to Sorachi-sensei, one good way to hide something is in plain sight. People often forget to look at something right in front of them. Kudos!

And I end this lengthy post to that last panel with Tae saying she understands Gin. The way he’s complicated is simple. Isn’t that sweet? Might I add, Gin-san being a sweet-talker and sappy is really cringe worthy haha.  Tae and Gin-san found a way to find each other thanks to Shinpachi boy. From then on, it’s like she’s been in his life forever with the way she understands his heart by heart. Anego and Danna making it through love. The gods have spoken.

#gintaeweek2018 #gintaefestival #gintaemonth #gintama #gintae

[otomates-a]

Most people are out there reflecting on their lives like normal people on their birthdays, but I’m over here writing a candid ‘letter’ to @deusvolent​ in a once in a lifetime display of me making a heartfelt post without the use of a single meme. I’m gonna make this so honest and sappy even you can’t find anything to turn into a joke, are you ready. I told you I wanted to do some shout-outs on my birthday to friends and mutuals so I can spread positivity, but everyone else I can do in a mass post. Yours I can’t because you’re extremely important and I have 983745983745 things to say to you at all times, you’d take up the whole post. This will be the only time I say them without a single keysmash or backtracking, SO TRY TO HANG IN THERE WITHOUT DYING. Despite trying my best, I’m sure there are still points I’ll rehash that I’ve said a million times and stuff I’ll STILL forget to say, but that’s how it is.

I find lots of ways to minimize the effects of my words / feelings when I talk to you because I get shy and I know you don’t do too well with emotions yourself, unless I’m doing some gushy meme for you, but I really want to take a moment and seriously state that you’re very special to me and honestly one of the closest friends I’ve ever had, period. I hold you to the same standard that I hold my childhood friends I’ve known in person since I was in kindergarten and if I’m gonna go the extra sentimental mile, you actually know more about me as a person than those friends do in a lot of areas. You aren’t physically here and I can’t hug you or stain your shirt with mascara while I cry on you for the 40th time that day, but you’re just as important and real a friend to me as those who are here and have to put up with my ugly sobbing in person and not keysmashes.

I’ve gotten mushy about how far we’ve come since we first started talking 4 years ago when I was a mess plenty of times and I don’t intend to make you reread the same stuff I’ve typed a over and over before, so I’ll hopscotch over that, but I do want to bounce off that and say that it’s because of those early interactions that I honestly trust you more than anyone. Which probably sounds like a silly, small thing, but when you’re an anxious, dying wreck like me, IT FEELS LIKE A BIG DEAL. You never stopped reaching out to me and actively keeping our friendship alive when I was going through hard times, and even more than that, you cared about me enough to forgive me and work with me through any problems we had. And that was genuinely as helpful and important to me as my family and friends around me helping me get out of the dark place I was in back then. Truthfully, you’ve played a really, really huge part in helping me start to stabilize my mental state, which is something I usually kind of dance around saying outright because I feel like it sounds stupid, but you know. You’ve been the biggest influence in helping me learn to cope with anxiety and depression when it involves friendship and learning to trust and sustain positive relationships with people I care about. Which is a big deal!! Like two years ago I would’ve broken down and isolated myself over every little misunderstanding, but now I’m able to talk to you and my friends and even my family sometimes and YES that particular social skill started with you, so thank you!! Because of you, I’m actively a better person both online and in person when it comes to handling people. And even though I still stumble here and there, as you know, I do it A LOT less than I used to, and I usually pick myself up far quicker than I did back then.

I trust you so much that I’m able to overcome most of my anxiety and self-doubt when it comes to interacting with you, even though I apologize a lot for silly things or still lack confidence here and there. And I don’t know if you really understand how huge that is, but it’s incredible to me because I can count the number of people I feel comfortable and safe with on one hand. Like I’ve said before in more joke-y ways, there’s a reason you’re the person I talk to the most on here and you’re the person I always ramble to when I have something on my mind. I feel like I can count on you to be there for me and stick up for me, but also tell me when something is wrong rather than worry about you suddenly hating me without ever saying anything.

All of this rambling is context to me making the point that there’s a very small group of people I consider people who quite literally save my life every so often and give me a reason to stick around when I go to bad head spaces. You’re one of them!! Shocking!! I’ve literally had times where I’ve been like “I want to die” and then seconds later I’m like, “...but I’d miss Bianca if I did.” If you ever need to put into perspective how much I care about you whenever I’m done writing this disgustingly honest shout-out to you and return to memes in our conversations, just remember that you are actively one of the reasons I am literally alive and you HAVE been for a good couple of years now, this isn’t something that just SUDDENLY developed.

This is where I’d put clap emojis to re-emphasis if I weren’t being really serious, YOU’RE SPECIAL TO ME. This is a very nerdy sentence, but I’ve been roleplaying literally since I was 7 years old through many websites and fandoms and no friend I’ve ever made throughout those years on internet hell has ever been as important to me as you are and us only being able to interact online doesn’t diminish that at all. And you may have noticed this is the one time I haven’t complimented your writing and that’s because you’re more to me than just a writing partner or someone I met on the dismal RP community on tumblr. Discussing muse and RP stuff with you is just as fun as you telling me what the weather is like in Romania today. I would talk to you for hours about the most mundane, unrelated stuff and it’d be just as interesting to me. If you ever tell me you need some strange artifact from America that isn’t available in Romania for some kind of adventure or if you just want a box of questionable cereal to try out, guess my ass is booking a plane over to Europe to fulfill my duty as your friend, no questions asked.

I’m closer to you than I am with the entirety of my family and that’s not even an exaggeration. YOU PROBABLY CAN’T TELL, but I’m not a very affectionate person and I very rarely show open and deep affection to people, THESE ARE RARE CASES. So you know and understand me better than people I’m blood related to and have known my whole life, which in mushy logic means you basically are my family. You may be in a completely different country on a completely different continent, but as any cute movie would say at this point, (corny voice) you’re here with me in my heart. And if this were a story where people were reincarnated with soulmates every lifetime, you’d be my platonic soulmate in every single one... we’re absolute opposites, but you complete me... If you feel warm and fuzzy and gross that’s because I’m hugging you in spirit. I hope your day is as wonderful and happy as you’ll have helped contribute to making mine.

I know your memory is absolute garbage, but I’d be happy if you could remember at least this much: Te iubesc, Bianca ❤️ 💗 💓 💕 💖 💛 💙 💜 💚

And thank you again for the birthday wishes, I’ll see you on May 27 with a great gift!! ♥♡♥(ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)♥♡♥ 💞 💘 💝

#a once in the lifetime post free of meme'ing and jokes ....... don't get used to it ........ #(Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C) #I PROMISED I'D EMBARRASS YOU TODAY AND I HOPE I SUCCEEDED LMAO ... have a good rest of ur morning #deusvolent #* . °◞ ❤ ooc. #* . °◞ ❤ positivitea. #* . °◞ ❤ happy tag.

[nezumiismissing]

Missing Characters Analysis Pt.1

I think there’s something to be said about the characters in No.6 that for one reason or another were not included in the anime, because although the story gets along fine without most of them, their existence can sometimes add to the already complex story in ways that aren’t always obvious at first. Not only do these characters often help Nezumi and Shion in their own development throughout the novels, but I find some of them to be fairly compelling on their own, even if they only appear for a brief time. Even over the course of writing out ideas for this post, I was surprised to find that I could keep coming up with new ways of interpreting even the most minor characters, and that even their seemingly insignificant role in the story could serve as an important moment of plot or character development.

I figured that to start this series of posts, I would pick a character that was fairly straightforward and could easily have been put into the anime without taking time away from anything else, while still adding an extra bit of development for Shion, so we’re going to be talking about Rashi.

First of all, who the fuck is Rashi? In the novels, Rashi appears as the Security Bureau Officer who both questions Shion after he rescues Nezumi and four years later arrests him for the “murder” of his coworker, as well as returning near the end of the series as the military leader that Shion kills in the Correctional Facility. In the anime he suffered the unfortunate fate of being turned into multiple different unmemorable characters who I nor the other characters cared about and who had almost no effect on the story whatsoever. But despite being such a minor character, and appearing in only three scenes , Rashi manages to have his own small story that ultimately greatly affects Shion’s character arc, while also acting as a microcosm of the entirety of No.6.

We are first introduced to Rashi in a flashback during the scene in which Shion is avoiding explaining to Safu why he was disqualified from the gifted program. Although it is a brief interaction, it is also the first time we get to directly see the authorities of No.6 in action, and so even though we may already have an idea about what kind of government exists in the city, Rashi’s willingness to severely punish a child while maintaining an outwardly friendly appearance further cements our expectations about what kind of city No.6 really is, and where the cracks in this “utopian” society might begin to appear. In this sense, we are not only introduced to the antagonist of the story (No.6 itself) through Rashi, but also given a chance to reflect on Shion’s feelings towards the city at the beginning of the story and his awareness that, much like Rashi, it is not everything it seems to be. As is shown in the other two scenes that include him, Shion’s relationship with and feelings about No.6 are often closely tied to Rashi’s presence and what information about the city is revealed during that time.

The next time Rashi appears is when he comes to arrest Shion after Yamase’s death. Although the first time we see him we are shown that there is in fact reason to be suspicious of No.6, this scene goes much farther in telling us exactly what kind of place the city really is in a few different ways. First of all, the reappearance of Rashi in this context gives the impression that not only has Shion been watched by No.6 over the past four years, but that he has also been deemed dangerous enough to have a specific person “assigned” to keep track of him during that time. We also see once again how brainwashed the citizens of the city really are, as even though Shion is being arrested for questioning the authority of No.6, and is quite certain in his opposition to the city, he still finds it difficult to directly act against it by refusing to answer Rashi’s questions even when they drift away from the topic of interest (Yamase’s death). Even with this opposition though, Shion still maintains a small amount of hope that perhaps No.6 is not as bad as Nezumi had said it was, and is only fully convinced when Rashi outright states that the citizens of No.6 have no real rights. This line marks the point at which we, as well as Shion, begin to fully grasp what No.6 is, making everything that happens afterward somewhat less surprising, though no less disturbing. Rashi, in continuing to act as the face of No.6, also changes after this statement, shifting from passive-aggressive to flat out threatening and blatantly malicious. He knows exactly what he is doing, and knowing that Shion will never return from the Correctional facility, has no problem admitting it. After Nezumi and Shion’s escape from the Security Bureau vehicle, we leave the inner workings of No.6, and therefore leave Rashi behind as well.

We don’t see Rashi again until Volume 7, when once again Shion and Nezumi enter the world of No.6, this time in its final, most corrupt form, the Correctional Facility. Once again we see Rashi’s behavior responding to Shion’s experiences with No.6, as his mental state has further degraded to the point of no longer caring about his own life once faced with something he is unwilling to accept. But this madness caused by No.6 comes from two directions, in Shion’s case from finding out the truth of the city, and from Rashi witnessing that reality falling apart. His instability also reflects the state of the city itself as the bees become more uncontrollable, unrest among the citizens begins to build, and the government's indifference towards the people becomes more clear. In the moments leading up to his death, Rashi fully becomes the personification of No.6, attempting to maintain a calm appearance while being internally torn apart, and going so far to kill anyone who stands in his way, even if they are on his side.

It is at this point that we arrive at Rashi’s death, which takes place in arguably one of the best scenes of the entire story (that’s a discussion for another day, though). Here Rashi finally fully becomes part of the actual story, as well as moving Shion’s character forward, as up until this point, he had been a mostly inconsequential character who allowed the reader, not the characters, to reflect on No.6. The first time Shion shoots Rashi, he is not giving him an opportunity to continue living, but rather is looking for confirmation of what he already knows, that No.6 is indifferent to human suffering, that for mostly unknown reasons, the city is out of control, and that now the only way to “save” it is to destroy it. Although these answers are given on a more personal basis between the two, the larger meaning is clear, and all that is really left for Shion to do is finish what he started and destroy No.6. So he does. By killing Rashi himself rather than letting him die on his own, Shion has made his decision on what should be done about No.6 and puts that plan into motion, although he immediately comes to regret it once he realizes what he has done and is unable to further take part in the destruction. On a more personal level, Rashi’s death signifies the end of a large chunk of Shion’s character development, and marks the absolute point of no return as he goes from being a mostly innocent bystander to the horrors of No.6 to being directly responsible for something that to him seems just as bad.

From this point on Rashi isn’t really mentioned except for when Nezumi and Shion pass his body on their way out of the Correctional Facility. Now that No.6’s destruction is guaranteed, he is no longer necessary to the story, and can be abandoned in favor of watching the city itself fall and the beginning of something else being built in its place. Although he was an extremely minor character throughout the series, the way in which he is presented as a personification of No.6 and our perceptions of that world is compelling enough that his exclusion from the anime seems significant, especially since all of the scenes that would have included him were present. I would even argue that Rashi being in the anime is more important that his presence in the novels/manga, as because of the exclusion of other characters from the show, there is no character that acts as the “face” of No.6, and it seems as though his character would have worked quite well in that position, while in the novels other characters are able to be in that role. Ultimately though, Rashi is simply a product of No.6, and although his role in the story as a reflection of the city is an important one, his existence doesn’t really extend beyond that, and on a personal level his death has no meaning outside of being the first one killed by something from outside of the city he was unable to separate himself from.

If you made it all the way to the end, thank you for reading all of this! I’m not sure I feel great about how it turned out, but I had a lot of fun writing it and revisiting parts of the novels/manga. When I first thought about what I would write about Rashi, I expected it to be a page long at most, since he’s such a minor character, but the more I thought about his purpose in the story, the more things I found to write about, and it ended up being 2 ½ pages long instead! I actually didn’t get to write everything I wanted to here, but I wasn’t able to format it in a way I liked, so I may revisit Rashi again in the future if I can figure out how to word my thoughts. Again I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings about this series, and if you did, you can definitely look forward to more of it in the future!

#no.6 #no. 6 #no.6 analysis #long post #i'll probably reblog this with my extra notes at some point when i have the time #this is going to be a really fun series to write though #original