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lex-the-lesbiann · 11 months

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Angel Eyes & Basketball by Foot Ox is about Normal and Scary actually

(not in a romantic way, in my mind they are gay-lesbian solidarity)

Normal:

Scary:

Explanation below the cut if you want to listen to me ramble :3

im gonna go a few lines at a time for this to try and organize it better and ill really try to not over explain :]

Normal:

“There are flowers growing all around a massive animal inside of me”

the way i interpret it, the animal is obviously the Doodler but in the original context of the song i think its interesting that they make a point to say that flowers are growing around the animal, encasing it, maybe in an attempt to hide or shelter it. For my interpretation as it relates to the Doodler, i think it represents the Doodlers good intentions despite the bad outcomes

“And its so ugly And I’m so broken And I’m so ugly and it’s so broken”

the Doodler and Normal have very similar experiences which makes them also have very similar feelings and i think this encapsulates how Normal felt during at the church of the doodler, just this extreme catharsis and recognition being found in an ugly and broken animal

“I am calling all of my friends to pull me out from this hole But they’re so caught up in their own shit And I’m so caught up in my own shit”

I don’t really have much to say for this one because it can kinda be applied to all of the teens, there’s nothing particular Normal Specific here but they’re all just going through it man

“Worlds collapsing all inward And the drones are piercing through it’s own skin But I think we should live together Yeah, I think we should live together”

to me, “i think we should live together” isnt about moving in together but rather, not dying in the face of the world collapsing and not even just that, its about not dying with other people, because you have these other people with you and they’re also not dying if that makes sense? And i think that very much fits with Normals ideology because he’s obviously very big on connecting with the people around him even if everything is going to shit and even if nobody else really wants to be friends with him (not saying that the rest of the teens dont want to be his friend, this was more of an in general thing)

“And you have to believe me when I say I understand That no one around here seems to understand But you have got to make an effort Yeah, you have got to make an effort”

And this is where I can also start talking about Scary because in my mind this is basically Normal talking to her. And like I was saying before, Normal is very motivated to try and make everyone like him (making the effort), so when someone like Scary so outwardly seems to not care (even though she actually does), it would be very frustrating. But i can also see this being Normal talking to himself because pretty much no one else in the group seems to care as much about being friends if that makes sense? not to say the other teens dont care about each other, they do, but Normal cares so outwardly

Scary:

“Like kids smoking in cemeteries Trying to remember what it’s like to be nothing again So maybe it won’t be so scary When they finally meet the maker at all”

In my mind, “the maker” is Willy and because of how he is, Scary has to try and be nothing when she associates herself with him, even if she doesn’t directly realize it. This is definitely a plate of corn moment but I really appreciate the irony that when Scary was most aligned with Willy, she called everyone else “sheep” even though the rest of the teens had literally just ran away from and disobeyed their fathers while Scary was perfectly content to just follow Willy and went with whatever he said.

“There are flowers growing all around the tiny fish swimming in my blood Begging me for more cheap coffee Begging me for more cheap coffee”

Okay, you’re gonna start to sense a pattern here, but the cheap coffee is also Willy and i can explain. its not so much that it directly represents Willy, but more so the sense of a parental figure that is somewhat, sometimes proud of her, hence the comparison to cheap coffee. But anyway I got ahead of myself, the fish (and btw i love that they’re fish bc get it, stamplers and fishing. you get it) are sort of her anti-conscience if thats a word, basically just something that tells her that she can have what she wants immediately and she doesnt have to work much for it, it’ll just be there and sure it won’t be as good as it could be if you put in more work but do you even really deserve the good one? just take the easy one, it fits you better. i hope that made sense

“Swimming round a kingdom of regrets Slowly building up inside of me”

Pretty much the same as what i was just talking about before but this is the result of choosing the “cheap coffee” and i like to relate this to the scene where Scary asks Willy for a hug and he laughs at her because, if i were to relate that scene to this song, Scary was asking Willy to essentially be more than he is, to be more than “cheap coffee” to give her a reason to stay but he’s an asshole so he just isnt. And then the regrets are obviously just the regret she feels. i really hope that made sense i dont think im explaining myself well.

“But there are things that I believe in Yeah, sacred things that I am keeping for you to see Later when you need them, like a Christmas tree Covered in light blue ornaments”

I think this can represent just how much Scary is a poser and knows it. She knows that she‘s pretending but only reveals these things when she absolutely has to. For example, at the black parade and at the mayors office.

Alright thats it im done, i hope this was at least a little bit coherent lmao :3

#this song has been in my head for ages #“AND ITS SO UGLY AND IM SO BROKEN AND IM SO UGLY AND ITS SO BROKEN” “BEGGING ME FOR MORE CHEAP COFFEE BEGGING ME FOR MORE CHEAP COFFEE” ‼️🗣#normal oak swallows garcia #normal oak #normal dndads #dndads normal oak #scary marlowe #dndads scary marlowe #scary dndads #scary marlowe dndads #dndads #dndaddies #dndads s2 #dndads season 2 #dungeons and daddies #dndads quest #the doodler #willy stampler

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laurialartsandvids · 26 days

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i know i know! its been a hot minute since i posted, but i SWEAR ive been drawing. in fact, i can post 4 DRAWINGS TODAY! i was inspired by fortnite of all things to make OCs loosely based off of ancient greek gods. feel free to not read the rest of the yappity text unless you care about my thought process, you can just look at the spilly pictures

!!!DISCLAIMER!!! im not a scholar on greek lore nor do i even try to be accurate in any way, if anything you can consider these queer OCS with parallels. im not trying to step on any toes here but if you have a genuine complaint dont be afraid to leave a CIVIL one in the comments please.

|hermetikles(he/they)|

this was my first one and it was based loosely around hermes. at this point i havent really figured out what i wanted to do so i kinda just made a design i thought looked neat and drew it. i did intentionally give him an extra pair of small wings on his legs for extra speed. also they have a sentient bag, i thought that would be fun and also messenger)

|aeyron(he/him)|

so this one is based off of eros. you might be able to tell by now a pattern of me kinda wanting to make a more 'modern' clothing style for the OCs, and yes thats kind of intentional. i later on decided i wanted to have a mix of what could be considered more stereotypically ancient greek styles(like that golden shoulder pad thing and the white robe/cape) but also other clothing styles i felt fit and that i liked. i felt the red hair fit because that kind of dark red evokes feelings of romance to me, and the tied up hair kinda looks like love hearts if you squint hard enough.

|nethaea(she/her)|

this one is based off of athena and probably the design i put the most thought into. first of all, owl mask and theming on the helmet: apparently according to my 5 minutes of wikipedia research that is a common athena symbol, so i added those here. the purple kind of sash thing and the blue scarf/tie thing around her neck is based around what judges wear. so athena from what i know is described as someone able to make logical decisions and someone knowledgeable, so i thought making her a judge kind of character makes sense. that said, the helmet and armour still nods to her being a badass godess of war, but in my imagination she would be more of a war strategist/planner now instead of being on the front lines. you might notice by her appearance that she takes a lot of similarities from a hazbin hotel character: yes, this is intentional. sera was a big inspiration for this design.

|apheno(they/them)|

apheno is based off of apollo. i made this one just today but im not so sure about it so idk i might update it. first of all, the blue hair and fur on the shoes/coat: because apollo is associated with and god of the sun, i thought giving him a kind of sky theme by making the fur and hair look like clouds would fit. this sun ordeal also inspires the orangeness of the coat and that spiky yellow design on it, which is supposed to be like a rising sun. there is also the bow which isnt too special but an inclusion i thought neccesary since apollo is also known as the god of archery.

-------------------------------------------------------

okay im done! i might make more of these, but for now these are the four i have made. ive also been designing lore and stuff for these but its far from being anything solid so no sharing for now! this is my first big post like this so i dont know how to sign these off, uhhhh lmao!

#oc #oc art #original character #Spotify

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quirkthieves · 6 months

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Will you kill me if I ask you to do all of the bulletpoints in IN-DEPTH HEADCANON QUESTIONS for Hii. I need to know everything about my wife at the earliest convenience

how does your muse get local news and updates on current events? are they up to date with all the latest goings-on or do they prefer to avoid it altogether?

I think Hinata probably spends a lot of time casually browsing her phone or watching TV, but I wouldn't say she's super "in the know". A lot of it is stuff that requires more than 30 seconds of attention, too, so she's prone to brushing it off as unimportant or boring.

did your muse grow up with any particular television shows? do they have a favorite, or a memory tied to these shows?

Kemono Jihen takes place in 2016, so... we can reverse engineer her childhood shows as coming from the early 2000s...

I think she would've REALLY liked Inuyasha. She loves historical dramas, romance, action, and it involves yokai-- the perfect blend of attention grabbers for a little girl who liked being cool.

how much effort does your muse put into their costume for halloween parties and other dress-up events? do they have any go-to costumes?

She doesn't really go to parties, on account of the leech. That being said, given the opportunity, Hinata's more the type to be vaguely-thematic and hot than a full on costume.

does your muse stay up to date with the latest fashion trends? describe their style. where do they typically buy their clothes?

She does! Hinata enjoys fashion and keeping up with trends a lot, and as described by Aimoto, she leans more on the "punk/rocker" end of the spectrum. Heavy leather influence. I don't think she'd buy from shops that are on the "mall goth/baby bat" end of the spectrum like Hot Topic, though. There's also definitely some sporty influence; im sure her casual clothing contains plenty of athleisure.

who was their first celebrity crush?

...Inuyasha, naturally

what would your muse's bio say if they were on a dating app?

name, age, and probably something like "can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen"

what kind of phone does your muse have, and how customized is it? does it have a basic case or something more unique? is the screen cracked? do they have a popsocket or other accessories on it?

probably a two or three year old smartphone. Definitely cracked screen, but she probably replaces the case when it gets scuffed. The phone case has a pattern like a yakuza tattoo, and a broken loop for a charm.

smartphones and other tech along those lines can be pretty sensitive to heat, so I have a feeling she has to replace it more than most.

who was the one family member your muse always looked up to, if any?

Hinata is the second youngest of 5. Her eldest sister was the coolest person in the world to her, and she emulated a lot of her rough-and-tumble attitude. Although, like with the rest of her family, they no longer speak.

if your muse drives a car, have they personalized it in any way (bumper stickers, things hanging from the rearview mirror, etc.)?

...Can I say she has a motorcycle? The saddlebags are just as leather and studded as the rest of her. Somewhere, there's a bumper sticker that's been worn off over the years, that used to read something not braking for pedestrians.

if given a choice between having a night in or spending the night out on the town, which would they most likely choose and why?

A night in. A night out means making sure Robara behaves, which is just stressful.

In her post canon, she's a bit of a homebody, just due to circumstance.

what are your muse's favorite scents, and what do they associate them with?

Leather, charcoal, and whatever the fuck the inside of an ULTA smells like. You know the smell, though. Makeup fragrances.

I don't think she likes many organic smells, though.

what kind of shopper is your muse? are they a slow, methodical shopper, a list-maker, or a grab the items and go kind of person? how long do they usually spend getting their groceries? how long do they spend clothes shopping? do they use changing rooms?

Grab shit and GOOOOOOOOOO she has an awful habit of just throwing shit in the cart, or if she doesn't want it, sticking it on the nearest shelf. Cuts in line. Haggles with coupons. Leaves the changing room a disaster.

if something bad happens, who will your muse call first?

what social cause is your muse most passionate about and why?

Hinata doesn't.... really care about society outside of the personal goals she has. Social causes are pretty meaningless drivel to her. That being said, she's passionate about the treatment of children, so... that? Don't ask her about theory, she doesn't know. What she knows is she'll kick your ass.

if your muse was made into an action figure, what would their five catchphrases be?

"I'll be a demon or the devil!"

"Suck in those balls!"

"Fightin's what I'm made for!"

"Whether vegetables or people, with an expert, people say you can line the cuts back up like it never happened."

"It's crunch time!"

what are your muse's biggest fears, and what caused them?

Hinata is terrified of losing those closest to her, a fear cultivated by Robara's constant threats towards anyone who got close-- and the perceived inability he had to take care of himself, putting his and others' lives in her hands.

She's also terrified of getting pregnant and giving birth to a "monster". She believes that no matter what, she's somehow become "tainted" and any child she has will turn out like him.

what's the one thing your muse constantly does and wishes they could stop doing?

Hinata's got an awful habit of breaking shit when she's mad, and that's really not conducive to owning things, typically. Phones and TV's can be expensive! And she's mad quite often.

does your muse know how to fight? describe their fighting style. if someone was threatening them and about to attack, how would they respond?

Fighting's what she's made for, right?

Hinata is a powerful combatant, both barehanded and with a weapon. She doesn't play defensively, and her onslaught is only made more dangerous by the flames she wields. If you fuck around, you will find out when you get football tackled to the ground and have your face rearranged in a non-euclidean manner.

Her haste and irritability isn't the same kind of weakness it is for Kaede-- Hinata clearly can be a discerning combatant and is willing to levy strategy to her advantage. It's just that there's a reason so many big predators relentlessly pursue and wear down their prey.

will your muse eat at fast food restaurants? if they're on a time crunch, what type of food will they grab?

She's not opposed to fast food at all! In fact, working for Inari and being on their own so early has made Hinata and Robara quite used to grabbing a quick bite. Hinata prefers things that are high in protein and can easily be eaten with one hand, so things like burgers are pretty set for her food choices.

did your muse's parents pass down any quirks or habits that your muse now does? what are they?

Believe it or not, but Hinata is a strong proponent of telling people to eat their veggies. And she doesn't eat until everyone else does, because her parents only ate after the kids did.

While not from her parents, Hinata's swaggy walk is the result of falling in with some yakuza after leaving home.

does you muse like road trips, or would they prefer to fly in a plane?

Plane, 100%. Longer trips that you can't just sleep off? No way! Plus, driving sucks.

what are their thoughts on roadside attractions and tourist traps? when visiting new cities, do they prefer to see the most popular sites, or pretend to be a local and blend in?

Hinata is the type to do the most popular sites, if only because she wants to appear like a normal couple and do normal couple things, which means buying in to the illusion of popularity as far as activities go. Again, though, her attention span is short and her patience is shorter, and even when Robara isn't a worry, her manners are just godawful and prone to getting her kicked out.

what does your muse's bedroom look like? is it cluttered or clean? do they use the overhead lighting, or use lamps and other things to provide a better ambience? do they make their bed every morning or leave it unmade?

Hinata's bedroom is surprisingly well-decorated, with lots of trendy and thematic elements-- but it's usually in a state of disarray, since she's not the type to get too hung up on organizing things. Not always messy, though. The cleaning tends to be a cycle of missing a few days, doing it all in one big burst, etc, etc. She's not the type to let anything become particularly unsanitary conditions-wise.

The bed gets made, but she complains the whole time about how pointless it is.

is your muse a 'this is a really nice box, i should save it' kind of person, or do they tend to throw things out no matter what?

It's pretty evenly 50/50. Being on her own instilled a bit of resourcefulness, but once things start getting cluttered, Hinata's the type to chuck things out with reckless abandon, regardless of if they've actually been kinda useful.

#give me the life of my dreams++ ;hinata hc

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burninglights · 2 years

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☕ + ur uni experience! im currently in 2nd year atm but ik ur in third? so im just wondering how the current year is going for u (bc i know u start doing dissertations etc). would love 2 know abt that and generally anything and everything ur uni experience (that u r still experiencing but yeah)

hello!! congratulations on starting ur 2nd year, I hope it's going well so far!! <3

uni's going alright!

most of my lectures so far have only been introductory lectures. I've just found out what my dissertation project assignment is (Microbiology focus and lab based my beloved) and I've got a load of upcoming practicals in the next few weeks, which means the associated coursework, too.

In terms of what the dissertation project on top of regular labs will mean, I'm probably going to end up working through Christmas (peak, but what can you do lmao). My year is weighted 30% dissertation 70% end of year exams and since it's back to in person exams this year I'm really throwing myself into it wholeheartedly.

in terms of making it through uni (esp. 2nd and 3rd yr) with okay mental health; it's really important to like. not live at uni if that makes sense?

Don't get me wrong, uni is important, but so is your wellbeing; I make sure to do at least one thing a week that's got nowt to do with uni (I'm involved with an intercultural organisation from within my diaspora & I do art at the weekend).

I've taken up journalling too; just a few lines every day/whenever I remember to about what I've done and how I'm feeling. Getting into health(ier) sleep patterns helped with my mental state and making sure to eat something green everyday really helped with how I felt physically too.

Meet up with your friends/go visit your mates as regularly as you can n make sure to reach out if u need support. I know I'm just an Internet random, but know that I'm in ur corner, and I'm happy to help however I can!! wishing u all the best <3

send me a ☕ and a topic and I'll spill the tea!

#tea asks #em.txt #freshfruuits #adventures in biomed #labs my beloved #everything else abt doing stem my beloathed #ESPECIALLY writing scientific articles. hell is real and it is Harvard Cite Them Right reference style

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t4tbruharvey · 2 years

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duella dent

favorite thing about them: her little gadgetssss the way they're so fun and cute while still having function and they piss EVERYONE off like go girl kill them with your repurposed riddler themed mlp merch!!

least favorite thing about them: reboot version where she wears the joker's face. blegh.

favorite line: god idk like all the lines i've read of hers so far have been jokes... fake fan im sorryyyyy i care mainly abt cj's duella which is the platonic ideal of duella dent

brOTP: LONNIE MOTHERFUCKING MACHIN BABYEEEE

OTP: uhhh. i don't have one actually i hc her as aroace

nOTP: duella/harper r*w BUT i think harper has a crush on her because it's funny for me and it makes harper come across as a loser bc they're both mean to each other and don't respect each other but harper ALSO wants to fuck which is. lol move on? and this fits the duella run in my head

random headcanon:

unpopular opinion: she looks GOOD in gotham knights fuck you all. i hope she turns out to be harvey's daughter i think it would be really funny but also if she IS the joker's daughter i appreciate the potential tdk callback with the cop car shot because honestly? that rules

song i associate with them: this charming man not bc the lyrics fit but bc i think she'd sing along to the melody like ba ba da ba bada bum you know

favorite picture of them:

[ID: comic panel of duella picking up robin from the ground. duella is wearing a bodysuit that's purple on one half and has a black and white diamond pattern on the other, along with a green belt, green boots, green gloves and a green ruff. she's saying 'c'mon legs... fun's over and so's your rest period!' and robin is saying 'ooohhh' /end ID]

#my blog isn't a safe space for harper r*w fans sorry #she's fine i just think she's a bad vigilante and she originated in antisemitism: the comic

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lokbobpop · 1 year

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So i see i need to start a writing/block something i can write everyday to open up points about myself to see where im not acting or should i say i am acting lol so this is it i started on paper and just did come to about and i only wrote two days which did nothing for my process. Which is the most import thing in my life and that of others around me, that i get my shit together and process these ridiculous thoughts that arent really me and live my words for real.

So i was once told i had a deep ingrained pattern to compare myself and i can see this about myself with the flickering of photo like shots to my mind triggering myself to go into these states of comparison and to tell you the truth ive had enough, the other thing that just come up is that am i going to write this as im telling someone, like im writing as i am now im telling you but should it be im telling myself !!! Interesting thoughts that is. Ill try both i think say it as it is in the moment.

If you didnt know by now im dyslexic and i will use others words miss words and generally not make sense, but i plan to make the best i can, not that i will read it again but i want it to make sense in case i did or someone wanted to. I know i can do better when it comes to writing so i will try to make it more eligible.

So where did i get to ? Yes comparison let’s start on this shit and make my life better where i just dont compare anymore it just doesnt bother me.

So what happens is a flash of a person will come up when im thinking about something i want to do or buy i see a person who i think is better than myself come to the mind, then the ball is off i compare until ive put myself in the upper position i can feel it in me write now as i write this its like i cant wait to sinks its teeth in me lol yes so this is how it works for me, first lets say i see an item i want to but and it associated this a person lets say a chair comes up, this person comes up and i think would this person like this ? Would this person desire this? If yes i think i must have it, so i can be better, have something they dont and so they might even be jealous of what ive got because im sure jealous of what they have !!! See that point im jealous of the person i also see spite come up im my wanting to be better which isnt a very nice feeling but i want to be as self honest as i could.

So what can i do ? Well i can do self forgiveness 100% i will speak it out as i feel sound the words helps tremendously and this being the whole point of this exercise to sound out my words in self forgiveness as this is who i am who i live to be, to ever forgive myself the wrong ive done mostly to myself.

What else can i do? Well writing out each event as they come up maybe not all in the moment as it wont be possible to, but to write them out before bed maybe or in the day when i can.

Anything else ? Yes create a word to live by that i can stand with to support myself to help move throught the moment and gain my own self back and not be in possesion of the mind。

Anything else? Yes i can connect to the physical with breathe four count breathing to stable myself this should be the first thing i do, to get back to my physical this is a very important part of the process, bringing it back to my physical by breath by feeling my fingers feeling my toes.

So lets get started as i want to walk this pattern for this week maybe longer until i have a handle on the problem, I know it will come up months down the line as i know how the mind works lol its not going to let go that easy lol so first i need a word to live in this moment when it happens..

So i ask myself “what word can i use to support myself when i go into a comparison with another, ? well the first word that comes up was grace so im going to so with myself here and trust that this word will support me.

Dictionary for of the word ; a quality of moving in a smooth, relaxed, and attractive way:

What comes up for me in this word is something to do with religion like to say grace, so i see i have this stigma to it, i will apply self forgiveness in spoken word before i move on ……….. so grace for me is to slow down take my time, sink back into myself with grace what my thoughts gracefully with out judgement of myself, to be soft on myself to hold myself gently in these moments find the grace within my, so i cant stop the comparison which is also spit, jealously, the desire to be better, wanting to win some sort of imaginary race that ive made up within myself i need to win come what may, like if i have all i desire before i die ive won wtf basically what was the point of all that none what so ever lol how funny is that.

So all what I’ve written ive know this about myself for some years now and ive just sat on my laurels and procrastinated away days month years not getting to the bottom of this one thing im not happy about myself, and i want to change, i know i can do it it just take me to stand up within myself to do it, and that it basically.

So here i go grace.

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gross80byrd · 2 years

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cynettic · 3 years

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Stay with Me pt.3

Summary - You manage to escape from Scaramouche, if only for a moment before you realize there’s no escape. It only takes until you’re sitting back in your regular spot that you know what you need to do.

Pairings - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warnings - Suggestive content, mentions of death, swearing, slight gore / blood

A/N - Its really hard to make this depressing while I’m vibing to Rasputin. Like no joke- I have it on one of the 1 hour playlists :D

Here you’ll find - pt.1 and pt.2

He’d left a key.

Scaramouche didnt make mistakes, not while he had you captive in the vicinity of his bedroom. He didnt have room for mistakes, not when you were watching his every movement while he was in your line of sight.

Sure, he mightve killed a person or two in front of you, but those were necessary mistakes. There was a sign on the door, it specified not to enter. You’d understand that, right?

Thats what he thought at least, lulling himself into belief after belief that you’d be there waiting for him every time. That you’d welcome him with open arms, even if there were chains ensnaring your wrists. That you’d accept your fate at his hands and submit yourself to him.

The Balladeer was a fool.

He’d kept you there for too long, and while you searched for an easy way to escape, time sent your head spinning. Into a spiral that begged only for the wind against your face, back laying on dirt with the familiar chirping up birds waking you up in the morning.

You wanted to go outside.

And when push comes to shove, you had to risk a little more to make it happen. Lure him into bed with kisses while your hands unbuttoned his vest. But what he believed to be alluring contacts was just your way of finding the keys hidden in the back pocket of his shorts.

It wasnt hard to find the one to your cuffs while he was asleep, cuddled in your chest with both arms around your waist as if to get you to stay put. You took the key, hiding them back in his clothing and hoping he didnt notice.

He didnt say anything the next day.

You werent going to wait any longer.

“Oh for fucks sake, why won't the goddamn door open?”

The room was left in tatters behind you, a little gift for Scaramouche once he got back. Turns out a pair of chains can smash up a lot of things, and rage can be used as a great source of strength when contained for such a long time.

But you’d done more than throw the blankets around, cut up the drawers and smash open the windows. Because your fists had bled red when you punched through the glass, puncturing your skin. Your knuckles were an ugly red, bruising already.

Ah, Scaramouche deserved a much better gift.

Gruesome as it was, you rubbed your knuckles against the pale walls. Till the blood stopped coming, till there was a nice little message for the boy which you held so dearly to your heart.

‘Balladeer.’

The first time you’d found out about him being a harbinger he’d told you not to call him by that name. You weren’t someone he associated with by work, you were a treasure to him. That’s why you continued to call him as he pleased, although the temptation always arose.

You were no longer his.

Shoving the door with your hand again, palm fiddling with the handle and groaning when it hardly budged. “Stupid,” you grumbled when the knob began to loosen. Backing up, you charged with your shoulder to the door, full force as the momentum broke the hinges. The door fell down with you along with it.

It was expected, you’d been stuck in the room for a long time, and thats considering you’d sat on the ground for decades. Your body was slight numb, muscles sore and unused for so long.

“You a-arent supposed to leave your room!”

A young man stood in the hallway along with a woman who looked relatively the same age. The two were wearing uniforms, flinching when you stood up from the debris and off the door. “Excuse me?” You asked, voice unnecessarily icy and stern. But you couldnt care less, you were going to get out of this house, damn anyone who stood in your way.

They both continued to shake when you walked towards them, staggering from side to side. The woman stepped up in front of the man, presenting a brave face. “If you leave the mansion, the harbinger will kill us all!”

“Well then I expect you should be on your way then. Actually…” you gestured to the maze of hallways. “You can lead the way.”

“What…?”

Your hand went limp to your side, an exasperated looking momentarily crossing your face before you sighed. “Im not staying trapped in that room, I’m sorry if that ruins your life, but frankly you're not the one stuck in there are you?” You took an extra step just to intimidate them, eyes wide to make the appearance of crazy. “It would be a great help if you showed me where he hid my vision too.”

“We can show you to the door…” The man began, “But the whereabouts of your vision are unknown, he wouldnt tell us something like that.”

A gift bestowed from the gods, a piece to help me thrive with my ambitions and pursue my goals.

Gone.

You really wished you’d taken to clawing out Scaramouche’s face instead, but you’d take what you got. Right now your main priority was getting out of this place, even if it meant leaving a piece of you behind.

“Door.” Your voice was raspy and there was a terrible feeling that crawled up to your throat, but you didnt have time to be emotional. “Show me where the door is… please.”

The conflict in their eyes dissipates by the time they lead you along, mumbling words between themselves. You didnt bother to try eavesdropping, you were so, so tired. You wanted to go home.

Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

It took a few minutes until you were standing in front of a grand door, almost twice the size of you and just as wide. You then began to notice the decorational plants and furniture that filled the empty space, there wasn't an inch of dust. Even though you could tell none of it was used.

“Hurry,” the man warned when you paused. “I dont know when our master is coming back, but if its soon, we’ll all be screwed.”

You couldnt feel your head as you numbly nodded, hand clenching the knob and flinging the set of doors open. “Thank you,” you merely mumbled, taking your first step out of the house in what felt like forever.

The days after that were a blur, the area around Scaramouche’s house were nothing but void. Empty and filled with forests and vast plains. You knew he didnt like people or socializing in general, but to this extent?

Your only option was to run.

Let your feet take you somewhere, anywhere. It was a constant pattern of running and taking breaks, leaning on a tree and gasping in a few breaths before you were again scurrying through the forest.

And yet you felt better than you’d felt in past months that you’d been stuck with Scaramouche.

Food became any boar you came across, the claws you’d spent so long hiding with Scaramouche coming to unleash a wrath beyond your comprehension. Till the animal was cut to shreds and no meat was left even to eat. You’d slaughtered it, without intention to eat or benefit for it, you’d killed it just to kill.

“I’m sorry,” you’d sobbed into the ground where you’d buried the harmless animal. Forehead pressed into the dirt as you pleaded for forgiveness to whatever archons would accept it. You couldn't even remember what archons you were supposed to pray to. “Forgive me- forgive me…”

But eventually you found your way around to somewhere you knew. Territory of Inazuma where you could find your way back, back home.

Where was home?

You’d been on the run from the vision hunt decree, abandoning your post for the Kitsune Saiguu for such a thing. Even now that you could return without a vision and as no threat under the decree…

You’d sacrificed everything for your vision.

Where were you to go now…?

Rain patted down, the trees providing only a slight cover as stray drops fell into your matted dirty hair. You didnt mind, it hid the tears that slid down your lifeless face, feet taking you into the far meadows of your hometown. Till you plopped down underneath a tree, knees curled to your chest and arms hugging them close. You were crying.

You were home.

____________________

“Awh,” a ginger haired murmured, elbow resting on the cool wood of the tabletop. “Is little Mouchie sad? I heard your kitty cat escaped~”

A death wish, even fatui that idly minded themselves around the bar knew it. Sipping cold drinks and swirling their cups, the soft chatter was nothing but a distraction from the main course of events. That being the smaller Harbinger who sat sulking in his seat, hunched over with a drink in hand. He’d drank far more than what was on the counter, but everytime he finished a glass, he’d smash it on the ground, watching the fragile glass shatter into pieces.

“I dont have a cat,'' was his only response, tone daring Childe to pursue further. To give him a reason to start throwing the glass in his face instead.

And Childe was an idiot when it came to challenging someone.

“No cat?” The rest of the drink in the taller harbinger’s glass was gone when he threw his head back. “Hmmm, I cant think of what else could’ve had you so enraptured in returning home then~!”

Scaramouche didnt respond, uneven bangs shadowing the bags under his eyes. “Stronger,” he said instead, elbow on the counter and hand outstretched for something. When there was no movement from the man managing the wine, the harbinger looked up. “I need something stronger to drink,” he repeated, voice seething.

“Of c-course!”

The glass was nestled in Scaramouche’s palm in no time, fingers curling around the circular form to down it in seconds. The drink merely slid down his throat in one movement, alcohol burning his senses. It didn’t matter, he was numbed by the growing rage inside of him.

Finally, he turned to the ginger haired boy, eyes hazily dancing along the counter till it reached his fingertips. Up his hand and along his arm, till Scaramouche was staring right into Childe’s eyes. “They escaped,” he admitted softly. “But it’s alright, because I sent something that’ll bring them back.”

Childe paused, raising his drink up away from his lips to pose a question. Hesitation danced along his features before he brought the glass back, he’d rather not provoke the shorter male any further. Wasn’t like he could interfere anyway.

____________________

“That… that…”

It was preposterous, having returned to that same spot for a day or two and heading back to the hometown you’d once lived in. The one Scaramouche had lived in. There shouldn’t have been an issue, you were solely gathering supplies for the sake of it, ambition driving you to travel far far away.

Out of Inazuma.

It was your new beginning, convincing yourself that you didn't need a vision. Finding some sort of purpose before Scaramouche shattered the vision and your life along with it. You’d seen how people had reacted when it had been ingrained in the statue, neutralized and broken. They lost hope, purpose and aspirations for anything new.

It’s not like the Raiden Shogun took my vision.

But you’d taken that fact for granted, expecting some sort of new start without Scaramouche. A victory, getting away from him just for a split second and getting out of Inazuma altogether, you’d never see him again.

Until you got his message.

“How the hell…” You crushed the note until it was just crumbled paper in your hand, slowly leaning on the stone wall. “Piece of shit… what kind of person even…”

Not only did he manage to find you, but without making his presence known, he’d tugged at your one weakness with an ease that had you down on your knees.

You threw the paper to the ground, deliberate as you stared past the alleyway. Pensive as you considered your options. Damn, what options did you even have? You’d been an idiot to underestimate Scaramouche, he wasn’t a child, you knew that… but archons he seemed like one when he was with you. Shown you a vulnerability he wanted only you to see. But maybe that had been part of his plan all along, until all you believed was his soft demeanor.

He may act like a child, but he’s a harbinger.

You stared down at the crumbled piece of paper in disgust.

Not only that, but he has no regard for human life.

Either way, you’d lived decades more than him. You could face him, you would present yourself to him just as he expected you to. Even when everything in you rejected the idea, sobbed at the thought of returning to that house, those chains. Being locked up and confined only for the purpose of coddling a small boy, a selfish boy, a cruel boy.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

You’d figure out a way, and this time you wouldn’t rule out the option of his death.

———————

Oh darling Y/n, how have you been?

I hope this letter reaches you rather soon, we both have much to discuss, no? About me, about you, and much more. You see, I’ve taken up quite a distaste to your little friends. Stone statues in Inazuma as small as Kitsunes truly hold no purpose, what will they do, come back to life? Haha, I should think not. I’ve already arranged to have them demolished, who knows what kind of material they might possess. Ah, and of course I’d show you the finishing product, unless you’re willing to come and have a chat with me once more? Under the Sakura tree like we used to, you’ve waited years, I believe you can wait for me?

I hope this letter reaches you in best interests. I’m always looking out for you after all.

Sincerely, your Balladeer

——————

It was raining.

Beautiful weather as you lay sitting there, feet crossed and tucked in the same you’d often do. After all, there was no need to fear the vision hunt decree or the Raiden Shogun. Let them come, let them take care of you before Scaramouche did.

You werent cold, not when the cold drops dampened your clothing, slipping down the length of your spine and drenching your face. Despite having lived in a luxury residency for such a long time, this was where you were most comfortable, enduring whatever the weather had for you, taking it with a smile. Because you were waiting…

The Kitsune Saiguu was a distant memory.

You were waiting for Scaramouche, the young boy that often bound into the field in lengthy strides, childlike wonder in his eyes. The one who’d cried when the other kids pushed him away, the one that just wanted to be praised. You’d held him in your arms, and now, even knowing the results, you wouldnt have done differently.

He was just a boy.

Just a boy when he joined the fatui, looking for praise that he was given. He created chaos and bellowed orders with a cruelty that was highly looked upon. Told that he was doing well, so he continued to do so.

He’s just a boy.

You wished you’d held him in your arms, if not only for a tad longer. Shield him away from the wrongness of the world, if only for one last time.

Banishing away your hatred for him was hard.

But you found it under the tree, rain soon dimming down to a clouded cold breeze that swept through the meadow. You’d hated him while stuck in the mansion, but you could now see it from a larger point of view. What he did was wrong of course, but you could remember him so vividly now. His small form giggling, tiny arms around your neck.

“Play with me!”

Was it your fault?

For not holding him tighter? For trying to rectify his bad doings and teach him what was wrong and right? Maybe if your grip was firmer, if you’d spoken to him about the warmth he’d given you that day when playing cards...

“Lazy ass.”

Burying down that pile of worry and insecurities, you took a deep breath in to relax. The edge of your lip perked up, only slightly. “Still terrible with your social skills arent you?”

Slowly securing a dry space under the three with you, Scaramouche sat down. His features were the same ones you’d grown accustomed to at his mansion. Rich clothes, sharp eyes, and the baby face that refused to go away. His movements were soft as he pulled out a deck of cards. The two of you didnt speak as he distributed them between you both. It was tense… no, it felt too much like the warmth form long ago to be tense. You only wished the situation to be different.

“I love you.”

But you could only offer a bitter smile to his words. “I love my vision,” you replied. “I love the Kitsune Saiguu, and I love my friends.”

His touch was gentle when his fingers came to gently cradle your cheek. Holding your face dearly as he peered into your eyes, his were soft. Different from the cruelty he held within, the hatred that burned and destruction that seeked to explode.

You saw a little boy.

Your hand came to press his hand further against your cheek, till you slid his palm to your lips. He appeared so calm when you pressed the first kiss, lips tracing the lines along his palm with all the care in the world.

But you needed to change your view, see him as the man he now was. As the man he had become.

“I love you,” he repeated, and you let go of his hand. It fell limp by his side, cards all but forgotten. There was a much more pressing matter at hand, because you truly needed to see him as he was.

It was necessary if you planned to kill him.

#genshin impact #genshin impact hc #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact oneshots #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #kitsune reader #yandere scaramouche #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #reader x scaramouche #scaramouche angst #writing #angst

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bibiana112 · 2 years

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im a bit late but Akane for the character asks? :0

Thank yooou, she is such a character ever oh my gosh

favorite thing about them: There's SO much to her, god I love the nuance I love the kind of character that she is of like a smartass weird girl seer archetype with a sprinkle of girlboss my absolute beloved LMAO On a serious note her whole vibe in 999 (once you know what's really happening at least) just hits me, she's going through so much just to be able to live, and like it takes strength to stand up for your younger self like that and see so clearly that it wasn't a personal failing that landed you on that situation, like she could easily think she was the dumb one to go back for the doll (and people certainly make that point often) and let that weight so much on her conscience that she'd be too paralyzed to even create the possibility for herself to survive, but she didn't, because that's simply not the kind of person that she is, and I think that's cool

least favorite thing about them: Her issue is that she's that person who thinks they're the main character in life except, like, she's right about it and she knows that too akjsksjs The hypocritical moral self-righteousness that she displays after 999 kind of irks me despite being a cool ass character direction, but I honestly wouldn't have her any other way

favorite line: "Now, who am [I]? I am [I], the 9th letter of the alphabet. But I am also [Zero]. ...No, that's not true. I'm not really Zero. Not yet. Perhaps you could say I am...[less than Zero]. Zero is my future. In 9 years... I will be [Zero]." Tough pick but this one just makes my brain go brr with every turn of phrase

brOTP: Aside from her literal brother, I like to imagine her getting along with Light decently well I wish they had a talk I wonder how many paragraphs long it'd be lmao and... that's about it she doesn't make many friends going forward aksjaks Aside from Carlos like a little bit I guess?

OTP: Junepeeei, they're so messyyy I love it kahsks there's so much devotion while at the same time so much distance between them like, it's just refreshing to have so many layers of both healthy and unhealthy patterns to their affections for each other instead of a clean straightforward romance, it's a lot to analyze and pick apart and boi if that's not what I love doing with stories lol

nOTP: Aside from the obvious, uh her and Sigma I guess? I hardly see anything for it but I just don't like him to begin with lol

random headcanon: non-binary beam go brr, like, she/her pronouns but she's really whatever when it comes to gender, helps that people unknowingly refer to her with he/him pronouns throughout both 999 and VLR and sure it's because she's playing a part but I think it's fun that she really just doesn't mind at all. Only way of expressing herself were elaborate ruses during death games instead of theater or cosplay or whatever helps people play around with gender, okay? It happens lmao

unpopular opinion: I imagine everything she does after the 999 isn't coming from a place of selflessness as much as it's coming from a sense of needing to be as in the know and in control of a bad situation as possible, even if it's like the literal apocalypse, but she's doing it mainly to feel like a good person and martyr even if she herself wouldn't admit it God I wouldn't be so hard on her if ztd wasn't so bad and retroactively made so much of vlr's plot into absolute nonsense

song i associate with them: Oh BOY! My most Akane core bops would be Wicked (which I already impulsively made a gif of her in the style of the mv lol) I love the funerary vibe and the story being told and I love the "This is the part where the real work starts" so much in this context. I'd Rather Burn is another one aside from obvious reasons, it has bits that are like you go girl! Get your vengeance lmao And finally the last one I have is Temporal Shenanigans do not mind where this one is technically from just listen to it and see how all around perfect it is for Akane because I have no words it just works insanely well

favorite picture of them: Tie between every picture of baby her that isn't sad and that one promo art where she's looking over at Junpei and Aoi nearly throwing hands and probably thinking oh no my idiots are fighting. But anyway *Arrives fashionably late to own death game*

#contractually I need to talk about Aoi and how I think that the first thing there about her not blaming herself is the polar opposite of #takeaway to what he experiences‚ like‚ because at that point he's so used to Not being a kid that he sees it as a kind of #shouldn't have taken my eyes off her kind of thing and he'd already blame himself for not providing enough security to not get kidnapped #even without all the incinerator stuff #despite being literally 15 #I've used that image for art reference so many times qwq #shout out to the one friend that made me a doodle of mini-Akane smiling with a bunny for my birthday #cause I told her drawing mini-Akane crying for my animatic almost ended in me crying too aksjsk #hold up is I'd rather burn not on the yt playlist? that's an oversight lol #In All Chaos There is Calculation 🔴 (akane kurashiki)#long post #a tag for asks

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 3 years

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Hi so my question is kinda weird and tmi but here goes: ever since I started masturbating when I was like 12, I can never just come once or twice and then stop like its probably closer to 10 times and I want to stop and tell myself "ok last one" but I cant until it almost hurts.. is that just the "normal" female experience? Im too awkward to ask my friends lol

hi anon,

don't worry. we don't do "tmi" here.

I'd first and foremost like to gently dissuade you of the notion that there's any such thing as a "normal female experience." "female" is a vast category that means wildly different things to different people, and "normal" means almost nothing at all, particularly in the context of gender and sexuality. here in my little internet bog, I prefer to chuck "normal" out the window and focus more on "statistically average" and "healthy."

so, let's unpack your question through those slightly more helpful lenses!

is this statistically average? probably not, but being a numerical outlier doesn't make something inherently bad. I'm going to be extremely presumptuous and read between the lines here to assume that you're a cisgender person with a vagina; please feel free to message me with a correction if I'm wrong. if this is the case, what you're experiencing may be a higher number of orgasms than average but not strictly surprising. people with clits and vulvas tend to (tend to, this is not universal!) have a much easier time being multi-orgasmic than people with penises, owing to a much shorter refractory period.

tl;dr, many people with vaginas are able to become sexually aroused and have another orgasm again quickly after the first climax. 12 orgasms is probably more than most people have on average, but it's also not implausible.

now - is it healthy and safe? it certainly could be, but the situation you're describing - continuing to masturbate until you feel like it can't stop and it actually starts to hurt - doesn't sound like it's particularly good for you. what it sounds like is that early in puberty you found a form of physical stimulation that felt nice, and then developed a compulsive repetitive behavior seeking to keep feeling the physical benefits of that stimuli even when you're no longer actually enjoying it.

talking about the negative side effects of masturbation always makes me feel like an unhinged puritanical preacher, but let's be real: it's as easy to learn unhealthy habits around masturbation as it as anything else. your body finds one (1) way to get free physical pleasure and goes "oh! cool, we're going it that way forever," and next thing you know you're locked in a repetitive pattern that you may or may not actually like or want to keep doing.

unlearning those patterns isn't easy, but you absolutely can if you put in the work. right now your mind and body are primed to expect multiple orgasms to the point of pain when you masturbate; you need to do anything in your power to break that association. when you've finished your first or second orgasm, physically roll yourself back out of bed and go get a snack, take a lap around the block, enjoy a particularly freezing shower, or anything else that jars your brain straight out of sexytime. sorry, no more orgasms today! we're actually not going to do this until it hurts, but nice try!

will that be annoying? god, yes. that's the whole point. but disrupting your current thought processes and subconscious expectations with sex is really the only way to go here. there's a REASON that I trained myself to drop everything and go for 20 minute walks any time my depression started to feel overwhelming, you know?

it may also be helpful to jerk it less frequently than you do now, however often that is, especially since you'll need to plan accordingly for your post-masturbation unsexy activity. I wouldn't necessarily recommend setting aside specific amounts of time for yourself, since that creates a negative pressure and could quickly create one bad pattern with another, but picking designated days when you know you'll have time for a post-sex wind down could also help shake up your current rut - and, of course, it doesn't have to be forever. hopefully, once we've disrupted this, you'll be able to transition to a more organic and less rigid relationship with masturbation.

"but Makenzie this sounds hard and annoying" yeah probably! but it's cheaper than a sex therapist, which is the only other option I have for you.

#sex edventures 2021

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leviiattacks · 3 years

Text

Two Faced | Chapter Six

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it's all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared. for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au, angst, fluff, slice of life etc word count :: 2.4k author note :: i have not yet proof read any of this or chapter five like i said i would, so i apologize for any mistakes. sigh im sorry for the angst in this chapter ??? T__T i suppose my own mood tends to be reflected in my writing. anyway, i’m working on requests too so if you have any feel free to send them in :D → next part is here!!

Everyone within the estate notices the way your schedule suddenly changes, half of them have no clue what you're doing seeing as it would be unfavorable for them to be aware of it in the first place.

However, after the bitter events of your first ODM-gear session you find it necessary to tell Sasha and Mikasa the truth. It's embarrassing really, and your mind disintegrates trying to find an appropriate way to tell to them about it. Sasha especially considering you've hid so much more from her.

The thought of letting them in on your lie has crossed your mind a number of times, but the image of Levi throwing you to the floor as he shakes in simmering outrage makes itself present. He will have objections against this and if he finds out you may end up in the same vulnerable position as before.

But, you don't care. If he wants to end your life for providing your confidants with honesty, so be it. It's not as if you have much of a choice.

Mikasa is sat in front of you bubbling with rage, she's disinfecting the gash at the top of your head - it has inconveniently tainted the surface of your skin after the second time you accidentally flipped in your gear.

Her breathing is heavy, evidently leaden with acidity it's become background noise to you. You're now increasingly mindful of how she's trying her best to keep calm for you. The realization that you're a liability and a hindrance to those around you makes you wince in shame.

You may as well be considered a synonym for humiliation at this point. That's how badly you're handling everything that comes your way.

Sasha doesn't say a word as she's brushing the knots out of your hair. There's nothing more you want to do than snatch the wooden paddle brush away from her, tell her she doesn't have to do this for you or commit herself to someone as unworthy as yourself. It's shameful that you let her continue - your only reason is that making her feel uncomfortable by the action is a possibility and that is the last thing you wish for.

The corners of your lips twitch upwards but you fight the desire to laugh at your pathetic circumstances.

"We aren't really in love." You finally say it. "He's never loved me." Your voice is ragged, voice trembling, breath laboured.

"You don't need to explain." Mikasa is calm in the way she approaches it all. "All we need to know is that the Duke is a pig."

Sasha has now stopped brushing out your hair now playing with the ends of your strands between her fingers.

"We expect no explanation from you it's been a long day." She gently whispers.

"Everyone deserves to rest. That includes you." Sasha's soft voice provides a kind of comfort that consoles you the way stars provide solace to the night. Your eyes fill to the brim with tears, you've desperately wished for years that someone would tell you that and mean it and here it is. She's smiling down at you, not even an ounce of irritation present in the way she addresses the situation.

Mikasa is silently caressing the top of your hand with her thumb. They aren't outraged or resentful. Even though they should be they aren't.

Heart twisting due to the prickles of relief they've given you your shoulders slump and you give in choking down a sob.

Sasha circles her arms around your quivering form and she strokes your hair. "It was hard, right?"

Attempting to blink your tears away you feebly nod. The weight of it all being kept to yourself has been unbearable. Tolerating this unwelcoming and cynical actuality on your own has been one of the hardest obstacles to come your way. To be swept off your feet and loved with such sincerity only to then be thrown away by that man like a rag-doll. Only to be coerced into doing what he wants or to face the music and face an early death. It's truly had a deeply somber affect on you.

You take one profound breath and you begin to tell them your story.

There are moments at which Mikasa's grip on your hand strengthens in a mix of frustration and protectiveness.

Eventually, at some point Sasha tries to secretively wipe a tear away when you recount Levi's blackened, subdued gaze the day he reverted back to his old self and announced you would never be a wife of his.

It's all too overwhelming for you when you tell them you're only alive sitting in this bed because you've bartered your freedom for a chance at existence. It's always been that way, you had to give, in order to receive, but this is one of the rare occasions you don't feel that way. The beating of your heart steadies, you're thankful for the way they listen and ask for nothing in return.

You stare at them once you're finished worried that you've overloaded them with too much information, you didn't even think to believe how they'd feel associating with a speculated "witch".

"You believe me right?" Your hoarse voice is thickened with worry.

You feel Sasha nod above your head.

"We believe you."

Staring at her glossy eyes you turn to look at Mikasa, she holds your arm in place and squeezes your hand reassuringly, it's enough to convey that she too has faith in you.

The days since have been passing excruciatingly slow. The day after the ordeal with Levi you can sense the way the other cadets look at you. It's a combination of distaste and pity. They stay far away from you, don't want to pair up with you during group exercises or activities - you aren't annoyed at all. In fact it's in their best interest they stay far away from your uncoordinated stiffness.

Oluo seems to feel horrible for challenging you to use ODM-gear when your core strength was not to the best of your abilities, he mumbles an apology for contributing to the gash on your forehead but you tell him it's quite alright and you assure him it isn't his fault that you thought you would be able to master the mechanism of the gear so early on.

On one of your more empty days you finally find the time to make your pit-stop at Hange's office, knocking on their door a breezy "Come on in!" is the response you're given.

To your surprise Levi is sitting there with a map and pen in his hand. Unmoving, his attention is solely on the plans in front of him. Ignoring him you inquire what it is Hange wanted to so desperately discuss with you but they wave it off saying the issue they had has now been solved.

Turning to walk away you don't divert your stare to Levi, simply knowing he's in one piece is good enough for you.

Other than that the repetitive pattern has stayed the same. It's a cycle of waking up, skipping breakfast, training for hours on end, returning completely exhausted, bathing and ultimately passing out in bed almost as soon as you've made contact with the mattress.

Levi and you awkwardly have to share the same bedroom at the estate to avoid any rumours of a broken marriage spreading. You don't understand why it matters, the "rumours" would be factual and true.

At first he sleeps in his office using the excuse of paperwork and planning attack formations but he knows that excuse will soon run dry. Later he utilities one of the armchairs in your room and sleeps in it for an hour or two, it concerns you how he's barely sleeping now, but you aren't vocal about your worry. Last but not least today is what you call a hollow night, the other half of your King sized bed is vacant, you haven't caught a single glimpse of Levi all day despite foolishly being on the look out for him. These nights are the worst.

Silence comes hand in hand with the peace and tranquility of the dark but that isn't what you feel, nevertheless you make the effort to sleep knowing your body will thank you for it when you train tomorrow.

Just as you're at the brink of drifting softly to sleep you feel the weight on the other side of your bed shift, you nearly jolt but your body's survival instincts halt the action. Suddenly, you are eerily alert of your surroundings. This isn't Levi, he'd never dare to come anywhere near you in general, but then shock renders you in place, he's fatigued by your presence perhaps it is him and this is finally your time.

That doesn't sound right to you. Levi is a man of his word if he wanted to go through with it he would have long ago.

A warm palm embraces your cheek and you second guess your previous line of thought. Instead of Levi Is this Lev?

This confirms your suspicions. The magic has yet to fully dwindle away. It's faltering.

Eyes fluttering open with caution you want to tell him how you've missed his presence greatly for this will be short lived. Lev will come and go. Even if you know it'll only obstruct your progress you wish to tell him you're grateful for the affection he gave you when he was around, but as you open your eyes half lidded he presses you into his chest.

The pace of your heart erratically springs, his breath is tickling the back of your neck. You can hear the blood drumming in your ears.

It pains you but you have to push him away.

But when you begin to emphasize the distance between the two of you he doesn't give you the opportunity to speak again, he flares up in want and presses his lips against yours, kisses you hard. You automatically reciprocate and your nerves cause your teeth to accidentally clatter against his.

His fingers run through your hair, frantically, desperately.

You'll be scolded for this later but it's not like you care and it's not like you can talk Levi out of it now. Not when he's like this.

An uncontrolled breathe leaves you and he lightly cups your jaw slipping his tongue inside. It tastes of whisky, you immediately recoil.

He's intoxicated.

"I'm sorry. Go to bed Lev." Your plain response is enough to worry him.

He holds onto your wrists and tugs at you. "My love?" His adoring stare is enough to make you crumble.

This isn't playing out how you want, you can't do this, not right now. You refuse to make this harder on yourself. Turning around you face away from him.

"I'm tired."

But Levi refuses to make it any easier on you.

He pulls you in by the torso again, handling you like a delicate flower.

He asks again.

"Whatever is wrong? I'll handle it for you."

It's abnormal hearing him talk to you with positive regard or even offer to help you. Repeatedly you warn yourself don't give in. The pace your head throbs at is in time with your heart, you're finding hope in the hopeless if you tell him your feelings.

"My Lord. Please leave me alone. Please. When the Sun rises you will regret this, as will I." You're unrestrained in your pleading now, your wailing fills the chambers you and Levi occupy.

"Please." Your voice is straining and urgent.

Thankfully, the maid's quarters are far, they won't hear the way you cry out for him to put an end to this torturous mind game.

Face slippery with hushed tears the tearing of your heart can not be heard. Bloodshot eyes blur your vision, you can't see. You don't think you want to, not when he firmly grips onto you like his life depends on it.

Then. The air changes, he's still holding onto you but his arms stiffen. He feels the way your back shivers against his chest. How your choked, cracked gasps for breath are an indication of how he's destroyed any chances you've had of sleeping.

Wordlessly, he lets go of you. Not a single word is uttered. The only sound amongst the alienating silence is his footsteps.

You hate this.

He closes the door behind him as he departs.

No, you hate him.

An unusual amount of sunlight compared to usual floods into your room and you have to practically block it out with one of your arms. Stirring awake your eyes burn, the whites must still be raw and inflamed.

This is usually the amount of sunlight you'd expect to see midday. Stifling a yawn you look around you. Then it hits you. It's not morning.

It's midday.

Your hands fly to your mouth trying to swallow your gasp down your throat, you're in hot water. It's not permitted for anyone to miss training unless they're excused by one of the higher ups. It's not as if you've missed a hour of training either, you've missed four.

There's no way to explain this, no way at all.

After everything he put you through last night the least Levi could have done was wake you up or at least order one of the maids to do so. It's his fault you slept at that ungodly hour.

An incessant knocking begins and you're almost certain it's Levi who's come to scold you for missing training. For some reason you can't make yourself care about his possible annoyance just yet.

"I'm coming in!"

You let out a short sigh. Thank Heavens it's only Sasha.

The door flings open and she pulls you out of bed not giving you the chance to greet her good morning.

"What have you gone and done???"

Awkwardly you chuckle. "I slept in and forgot training." Her face contorts and twists not knowing what expression is appropriate to express her bewilderment.

"No, no. WHY DID THE DUKE LET YOU OFF TRAINING TODAY?? IT'S OUT OF CHARACTER."

At a complete loss for words, open mouthed all you can manage to do is clear your throat trying to keep your jaw from dropping. "He what?"

#levi ackerman #levi #aot #snk #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan levi #aot fanfiction #aot headcanons #duke levi #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi angst #levi fluff #levi smut #levi fanfiction #leviiattacks

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gracedcoup · 3 years

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I’m sure this has been done already but w/e lmao? I just wanna talk real quick about the angel outfits, and especially the recurring symbol in them that I’ve been jokingly referring to as the celestial branch

The symbol appears to be a sprig/branch of some sort. If I had to guess, I would assume that it’s meant to be a stylized olive branch, which is often used to symbolize peace. Olive branches also have a notable role in early Christian art, with a dove carrying an olive branch being a recurring motif symbolizing peace/the end of a struggle.

The symbol appears twice in both Simeon and Luke’s outfits. For Simeon, it appears once on his chest (as some sort of accessory?) and once worked into his shawl/cloak thing. For Luke, it appears as an accessory on his cravat and multiple times embroidered on the end of his scarves(?). Both designs also make liberal use of diamond/sparkle shapes and tassels, which we can assume are meant to be seen as other recurring motifs in angel apparel.

While looking at the brothers’ outfits, though, I noticed that not all of them incorporate the symbol. Going through the list, we have:

Lucifer – The branch is displayed prominently at the collar of his shirt, much like a tie. The shape of his shirt (tunic?) also appears to echo the design, and multiple diamond shapes show up in the spines of his peacock feather shoulder armor. His belt has two large tassels on it (and seems to mirror the placement of his casual outfit’s weird rope belt), and there are 2 double-diamond shape accessories hanging off the very bottom of his shirt.

Mammon – Does not appear to have the symbol in his outfit at all, though his legwear has a copious amount of diamond shapes and tassels. He has a necklace with three irregular diamond shapes that better resemble the ones in his demon form outfit. Also not to get off-topic but are we really not gonna talk about how this man is wearing thigh-high leg warmers im so–

Leviathan – The symbol appears as an accessory on his chest, a lil under his collar. Diamond and sparkle shapes appear repeatedly down the central strip of his shirt, and the strip ends with an inverted version of the pattern we see around the throat of Simeon’s shirt. Diamond shapes also show up on the embroidery on his chest, which I would wager are meant to bring to mind squid tentacles since Leviathan is our aquatic boy.

Satan – Satan’s outfit appears to mimic Lucifer’s to an extent, as the symbol appears both on his collar and as an echo in the design of his shirt. Both also wear heeled shoes and have feathers as a prominent part of their design. Additionally, Satan wears a belt in the same orientation as Lucifer, though it has a chain instead of tassels. A similar chain design appears in Simeon’s outfit, acting as the connector/clasp on his shawl/cloak thing. Seriously WHAT are these outfits, how am I supposed to describe these pieces,

Asmodeus – The symbol appears twice at the ends of the strips attached to the top part of his dress, though one has an extra set of “leaves” on it. Diamond shapes appear repeatedly in his chest accessories, and the top part of his dress is arranged so as to create a diamond shape. The bottom of his dress is cut so as to resemble feathers, but the feather usage here is more subtle than in Lucifer and Satan’s outfits.

Beelzebub – The symbol appears on his chest, worked into his heavy necklaces. Multiple diamond shapes appear on his legwear, with 3 being on his belt, 7 being accessories hanging from a weird offbranch of his belt, and at least 3 displayed on the outer sides of each pant leg. Beneath the diamonds on his outer pant legs is a curvy design that seems to show up at the center of Asmodeus’ dress top as well. His pants also have tassels at the bottom.

Belphegor – Also doesn’t seem to have the symbol in his outfit at all, but incorporates more diamond/sparkle shapes than any of his brothers. This is likely due to his association with nighttime, since his whole thing is sloth and being asleep. Multiple diamond/sparkle shapes appear on his pants, two appear both on an anklet and as accessories dangling off the end of his cape, and his shirt is designed to create a diamond shape on his chest. Exaggerated sparkle shapes line his top, which adds to the starry look.

Altogether, only Mammon and Belphegor’s outfits lack the celestial branch, unless the symbol is only visible from the back- or side-view (which we don’t have access to). Its appearance in Satan’s outfit, despite him never being an angel, could be contributed to his connection to Lucifer.

Does the lack of the celestial branch in Mammon and Belphegor’s outfits mean anything? Probably not! But it’s kind of a weird inconsistency when literally every other angel character has it incorporated into their outfit, y’know?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me meta #angel event #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #simeon #luke #little d no. 2 speaks #I guess this counts as meta??#this is basically me just going 'but what does it MEAN'

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familyagrestefanblog · 4 years

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Ml analysis: Native American miracle box

While is it obvious that the new miracle box is of native American origin I still went to do some research on it to see if I can narrow it down to a certain tribe and find more connections hidden in the lore.

So not to waste any time, here is my result:

The native American miracle box is in possession of the Souix Lakota tribe. Just like with the Ml Tibetan guardian monks represent not only 1 but 4 groups, the native American Miraculous tribe is a combination of the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota and where we can safely say that the monks will primarily lean towards the Tibet representation, I would say here we will primarily lean towards the Lakota. Therefore, I will call the native America Miraculous tribe Lakota but know that the other two tribes are included in this as well.

So a dead giveaway for the identity of the ml Tribe is Jessicas Shirt. In general Jessica has the hairstyle, the physical features and the accessories typical for representing an “Indian” character and her shirt is a direct confirmation of that heritage.

On her shirt is an obvious reference to the Lakota flag which pretty much tells us that this is the Tribe we are dealing with. Nice, why cant it always be this easy?

Under the cut I cover three more points to go into more detail, read more if you’re interested ^^

1. The medicine wheel

I must give it to miraculous, using the medicine wheel for the upper layer of the miracle box is one genius move imo.

The Medicine Wheel is a sacred symbol and way of life used by the indigenous Plains tribes to represent all knowledge of the universe. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to really get into its teaching and living ways to be comfortable explaining its practice in more details, so in this part I want to cover only what has been directly acknowledged by Thomas Astruc. And that would be the animals (duh, obviously) and the elements.

The first thing I had to learn the hard way in this research is that there is not one "true" way for this symbol to be arranged. The way its used, what animal belongs to which color or element and even what KIND of animal is in it can vary STRONGLY from location to location.

So I accepted that the arrangement can not be pinpointed down to perfect accuracy through research. We were already given all the animals and colors, now all I can really do here is present to you a possible variation of the miraculous arrangement I put together after looking up and trying to understand the differences between the real life ones to continue from here on.

There are only two animals we know for sure the connected color of: The eagle, Jessicas miraculous of freedom and the Thunderbird. In his tweets Thomas mentioned the elements so I decided to include them in the arrangement, how or if they will be incorporated into the show I can not tell you though. But still I wanted the elements in here as well ^^

As already said, the eagle is red and the thunderbird is in the green center. As you can see I put the bear to black, the Wolf to yellow and the Buffalo to white. Those seemed to me the most likely combinations and even if they don’t end up right, it wont do harm to any of this.

Buffalo: white and air because the Lakota have a white Buffalo woman legend where air was one of the main elements she controled and used.

Wolf: yellow and fire. Fire because in Lakota legends the wolf/ coyote is a very unpredictable animal. He's both a trickster and a hero, not always moraly sound but always clever. It's a dangerous but strong and lively nature that I do think the show could represent with the fire element. Yellow is one of the two cases where I was left with this option by default.

Bear: I choose black and water because that's a combination I have seen the most

Eagle: I already know Red and choose earth in combination. At first I thought about putting fire in this place because of its normal association with red but in the end choose earth because I think it's the element that fits the best to Jessica.

But the reason why I decided to include the elements is because of the green thunderbird in the middle. Because where the other 4 animals are connected with the 4 elements, the thunderbird would here represent inner balance and harmony. Of course this isn't it's power, but the layout makes it quite obvious that the thunderbird is the equivalent of the ladybugs and cats yin-yang. My assumption right now is that this is how the show will cover the different types of "balance" although the world cultures it incorporates, but let me come back to this one another time.

2. more cultural references and meanings

The thunderbird represents the most powerful one of this miracle box because the thunderbird is the one animal that is present in every Souix Lakota tribe and holds an enormous cultural and spiritual significance. It is a mythological bird and is associated with several legends starting from controlling the storms, lightnings and thunder to being the protector of the humans and even being a helper of the creation of reality (Reality in Ml are the LB and Cat hence why its place in the middle of the box is well deserved) It only makes sense that it would be chosen for this and I know it may seem cliché but please hear me out, which is why im convinced this is the miraculous of the chiefs.

A couple of details do support this for me but please remember I'm not exposed to alot of native American cultures I'll do my best to get things right but if I do interpret something(s) wrong feel free to correct me.

For one, well, the symbol. While looking up the clothing for a later point I did see a symbol like this on some of the feather headdresses.

Definitely not on all of them, I couldn't figure out if there is a system behind the pattern usage or tied to a distinct area but I do know that it is THERE and not exactly rarely either. Noticeably it isn't a 1 to 1 fit but that is an all time returning thing in miraculous. Real life and historical things like this have to be slightly altered for the show to be able to incorporate them. A great example for this is the old English flag in "Darkblade".

So at this point I'm used to this pattern, so yeah, this could very likely be a symbol they took inspiration from.

The second reason why I think it it's the miraculous of the chiefs is because the piece with the symbol on it looks like one of these

In combination with the feather on it. The feather headdress is also called a war bonnet and was originally only worn in battles and only by the person who has truly earned that honor. Each feather represents a distinct honor earned in battle which is why we see feather headdresses in such different lengths. How this translates perfectly into a miraculous I think is obvious. The headdress is a symbol of true leadership and worthiness of such a status, hence why it were especially the chiefs to earn such impressive ones. Turning it into a miraculous wouldn't change too much about it since such a powerful miraculous is an honor and duty you have to be worthy of as well. Them being originally used only for battles is a perfect fit too, because so are the miraculous.

Then of course once again, the thunderbird.

The thunderbird being the great mythical protector animal of these tribes makes it naturally a perfect fit for the miraculous animal of the great chiefs. The chiefs were not only the leaders they also were the primary warrior in battles which is seen by the war bonnets. Having the Thunderbird be the miraculous of the chiefs highlights their status as the tribes protector in such a genuine way, I personally really really love it.

As the last point of 2. I want to bring up the outside top of the Miracle box and the way its designed. While looking through the clothing symbols and pattern I did notice some that looked similar to the ones on the box. I deliberately tried to find a more recent example of usage because in the end of the day Miraculous is a show for TODAY so if the show used patterns for example that may not have been used in the past but are now associated with the Lakota that’s still valid. So the possible matches for design inspiration I found stem from a picture of chief Arvol Lookinghorse who holds the responsibility of spiritual leader among the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota People to this day.

3. Their location and monuments

Researching the lakota made me think of where this guardian group has its roots, which made me remember something I found on my guardian mountain - mount kailash theory a while ago (I swear right now everything comes back to that theory). In it I showed you the monuments-line around the world always separated by a length of 6666km between each other (basically the height of Mount Kailash) and while I didn't mention it there, there is also one of those "mythical" monuments in the USA.

The bears lodge butte (in Wyoming)

I mean LOOK at this, that is out of this world and breath-taking in every sense of the word! That is a location of a miraculous guardianship if I had ever seen one. Also known under the (sadly) much more well known name of "Devils tower" but this will be the one and only time you will read of me calling it like that. The fact that this butte is still officially called by this disrespectful and bastardized white peoples name is a freaking insult. I'm calling it the bears lodge as this was its original english name.

The bears lodge is not just a monument in the USA it is the VERY FIRST official monument (1906) and the location of the butte also checks out perfectly with the areas the Lakota settled in real life. I couldn’t get the exact scale but I think you will still understand just fine.

Adding to the Bears Lodge butte I also wanna bring up the "other" medicine wheel. Which is, just like Bears lodge, located in Wyoming.

As we know the rest of the native American miracle box is made of the zodiac signs just like in our normal miracle box. Confirmed not only on Twitter but also in the very intro of the New York special.

But the same way the miracle box is similar to ours the Medicine wheel as monument reminded me of something as well. Of course I'm talking about the ritual circle in the Kwami "dimension" of the box seen in “Sandboy”.

And just like the native American monument it is also of "astronomical" nature. Taking a closer look at the Chinese Kwami circle one can see that the outer ring is made of specific places for each Kwami signified with a picture of their "animal".

And in the inner circle is obviously the moon circulation.

Meaning, put very simple, this is a design specifically meant to represent the Chinese calendar and culture this miracle box is based on. Therefor this should also exist for the native american one. My guess Is that for all the boxes/cultures Miraculous is gonna include they will also have an “ritual circle” equivalents for each based on all the different kinds of stone circle monuments around the world, including the medicine wheel of the Lakota.

But not only was the medicine wheel monument used for astronomical purposes, with it the people wanted to give things back to mother nature. They placed things right in the middle of the wheel under the stones so nature could take it back "spiritually" (for a lack of a better word on my part) through their rituals and chants. Which is something once again similar to what we see with the Kwamis.

First if all, when the Kwamis (who are the embodiments of the abstract concepts reality is made of) enter their "dimension" in the miracle box the guardian symbol opens right at the center point, letting them cross the layers of reality.

Second, the Kwamis are obviously able to take material objects with them to the in-between dimension. Supporting and verifying the Lakota’s ritual because at the very least in the ML world its actually true. And thirdly, when the Kwamis try to reach Nooroo they chant as well and once again the collected energy is combined in the middle to cross the layers of reality. Gabriel is transformed though so he, as Hawkmoth, is able to almost take over the connection and therefore the miracle box if the Kwamis hadn’t blocked him.

This shows that the spiritual dimension layers are interactive from both sides under certain circumstances. A normal human being wouldn’t be able to cross the layers and take control like this but the more a person is involved with/ powered up by the miraculous the more power they hold interdimensional. Which is the idea of a ritual to reach the spiritual side of nature brought to a new 11 as TV shows usually do.

4. The design of the guardian.

I'm definitely not the right person to properly judge this in depth therefore I will just showcase my opinion based on the research.

The way I see it for the guardians design they tried to combine the guardian "look" with the native American one.

The pants, staff and robe-like upper part are obviously influenced by the guardian we already saw through Fu's flashbacks, whereas the colors, the hairstyle and shoes (etc) are kept more Lakota-like. Though, as far as my opinion counts in this, the much darker skin and the eyebrows in comparison to Jessica does make me question if he is supposed to represent the same native American tribes as her. His bushy eyebrows are a physical characteristic I recognize in rarely any real life photos and neither did I notice such a noticeable difference in skin color.

Jessica and the guardian simply do not really look like they are of the same heritage to me, but again, who am I to say this isn't a legit representation? Besides that, it makes alot more sense that this guardian wasn't lost for almost 200 years like the ones in Tibet, so it is a fair option to consider that this black guardian may not be of "original Lakota heritage" but he is simply a worthy man born in this area of the USA (who knows in what year considering the guardians life spans) who was chosen and trained for the guardianship simply because he was the right fit for it just like Marinette.

I think it's only fair to consider that option as well, especially since we have NO official background on him. But that's just my opinion.

And as the last thing I want to bring up is the symbol on his robe because this is something I'm going to need help with.

We can hardly see it and I've tried my best to find something in my research but I just couldn't find anything fitting.

If anybody has the means and knows if this is a cultural reference as well, I would appreciate it if this knowledge could be shared here as well. I really would love to know ^^

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #ml theory #ml new york special #ml new york spoilers #Native american miraculous #Lakota tribe in Ml #ml sugar #Miraculous world #Miracle box #ml sandboy #thomas astruc tweet #guardians of the miraculous #Jessica Keynes

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telehxhtrash · 4 years

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ok ok okok so i originally wanted to make a long ass post about it but im LAZY so im just gonna do a chill post about it

i don't believe Kurapika's character arc will lead him to his death.

Ok, maybe he WILL die. But not permanently at least.

I feel like Kurapika and Gon's stories mirror each other very closely, and if we follow that pattern, we can make some logical conclusions on what's gonna happen to Kurapika.

Kurapika is literally hitting rock bottom right now. He's on a boat with the phantom troupe, the man who has the last pair of eyes and potentially Pairo's head, and if the theories are true, the one true person responsible for the Kurta's massacre (Pariston - i'll let you read up on this theory if you're interested because it's amazing - the fucking MOUSE EARS ON SHEILA i-)

Kurapika has also found at least 20 new different ways to die, one of them including taking years off his lifespan for revenge. Yup, fuck emperor time. Honestly, Kurapika is sinking so fast it's not even funny. And you know who that reminds me of ? Gon.

In CAA, Gon hit rock bottom. He was scared, he was weak, he had trauma, he was suicidal, he wanted revenge more than anything in his life, willing to throw his life away to avenge Kite. Gon gave up on his own life for the sole purpose of fulfilling his need to cope with the guilt he felt towards Kite's death. This whole mission was self-punishment. And so is Kurapika's. Kurapika feels survivor guilt, 100%. Why is he the only one alive ? Why did everyone have to die but him? The only thing he can do is resort to revenge. To try and ease this guilt he feels. Because he's alive, he's alone, he has no one else left. Like he said, he has no one and no home to return to.

And then, just when Kurapika thinks he can never have a home again, enters Woble.

In Kurapika's darkness, after having further and further strayed from the light, Kurapika finds the one thing that's the furthest away from who he is right now : a literal baby. An innocent, pure, sweet baby, who has no idea how many hardships there are in life. Kurapika obviously wants to protect Woble, and we get a few panels that highlight the impact Woble has on Kurapika, and vice-versa.

In Kurapika's darkness, a sweet, innocent baby reaches out to him. Reminds him of simpler things, of happy emotions, of everything he wishes he could be. And I believe that's why Woble (and possibly Leorio too- since Leorio makes Kurapika calm, as he says) will be the one to save Kurapika from sinking completely into darkness. Just like Killua was Gon's light in his darkest moments, everything Woble represents will be what ultimately leads Kurapika to get his head out of the water, and to finally find a new purpose in life, finally moving on from the past and accepting a new, brighter future.

I could write THOUSANDS of meta on Woble but I'm gonna abbreviate to the most important things I read about her and that lead me to believe she is the one that's gonna help Kurapika get out of his self-destructive spiral. There's a lot of Bible symbolism in Succession War arc. Morena wears a crown of thorns, just like Jesus, but she's meant to represent the anti-christ and to embody everything Jesus opposes.

Tserriednich shares so similarities with Jesus, but ALSO doesn't represent him at all, he's the exact opposite of him. I'm literally quoting a post I read, but : Jesus: prodigy; turned water to wine; rose from the dead; warned his trusted apostle (Peter) that Peter would lie and betray him three times before the rooster crowed // Tserriednich: prodigy; turned water to putrid shit; rose from the dead; by proxy of his Beast, warned his trusted bodyguard (Theta) that she should not lie to him three times.

Finally, we got Chrollo, with his upside down cross, his 12 disciples and all the biblical symbolism surrounding him.

Those characters, associated with anti-christ symbolism, are all on the boat. But hey, if we got antichrist symbolism galore in this arc, then surely, there must be a character that symbolizes Jesus, right ? Yup, you guessed it. It's Woble.

Like I said before, Woble represents everything Kurapika is not : she's light, she's innocent, she's pure.

And the fact that Kurapika meets and shares a bond with this character, who is surrounded by so much positive symbolism, right after he declares that "there is no home for me to return to.... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing else." is leading me to believe that Woble, in one way or another, will be the one that pulls out Kurapika from this darkness.

Kurapika's story arc would not end in tragedy, I don't think that's the message Togashi wants to convey through him, that when you chase negative emotions too much and focus on the past, you lose yourself so much that you eventually die. I think that Togashi's message would be somewhere along the lines of "Sometimes, you get lost trying to live in the past, and you let negative emotions fuel you. But when you think you have no purpose left, and that you've hit rock bottom, open your heart to others and you will be saved."

Because that's the thing that happened with Gon. Gon went through the same character arc, and he got lost but eventually brought back home by Killua. And I really believe that the same thing will happen to Kurapika. That Woble will give his life a new meaning, a reason to look forward to the future instead of clinging onto the past. And of course, it's gonna be painful. Because to see the light, Kurapika has to hit rock bottom first.

(lil parenthesis here : but i genuinely believe that kurapika will be put in a situation where he will eventually have to make the choice between retrieving the eyes, symbolizing his past, or protecting woble, representing his future. and ofc, he will choose woble, and thus his future, putting him on a path to recovery.)

THANK YOU FOR READING MY BRAINROT ONCE AGAIN

#hxh #hxh meta #meta #my meta #i wrote this a while ago i just have no content rn so yes enjoy my half ass meta #i wrote this when we were talking about kurapika and pairo mirroring killugon #but yes imo kurapika is not gonna die or become unable to be saved #hes gonna be saved #woble represents that hope and that light #and woble saving pika and leorio saving him too are not mutually exclusive #theyll both save him imo #but woble was introduced with all this symbolism for the sole reason of making kurapika choose his future over his past #kurapika post

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

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Headlines (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Headlines Rating: PG-13 Length: 2000 Warnings: None. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in March 1998. Summary: The article hits the newstands.

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive @pascalesque @theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou @yespolkadotkitty @fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great--perhaps

DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY UNDER FIRE FOR GENDER-BASED DISCRIMINATION

America was captivated by the DEA’s pursuit of the Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar. Following his death in 1993, two names became synonymous with the chase — but there was another name carefully removed from the narrative.

In 1987, Annie Morley transferred to Colombia from the DEA’s Atlanta Division eager to make a name for herself within one of the government’s most notorious agencies. Her drive led to numerous successful apprehensions. Most notably, she led the takedown on a notorious associate of Escobar within her first twenty-four hours with the agency.

The DEA rewarded her loyalty to the agency by burying her efforts and scrubbing her dedication from the record books.

Following Escobar’s death, Morley entered into a quiet relationship with her longtime partner, Javier Peña. After years of fighting against the rampant sexism at the embassy, she was forced to conceal not only the relationship, but the paternity of her daughter.

The DEA’s response to her pregnancy was to place her on indefinite desk duty, prematurely ending the career of one of their best field agents. She was replaced by Chris Fiestle, a junior agent with a record for complacency, forged documentation, multiple disciplinary infractions, and at least one harassment-based misdemeanor on his record. Fiestle’s connections within the DEA agency allowed for his unowned momentum, despite his unfavourable records. While Morley found herself under increased scrutiny, harassment, and intimidation merely due to her transition into motherhood.

Once the couple’s relationship became known to the agency, the DEA swiftly severed Morley’s employment and terminated her work permit sponsorship in Colombia. Morley and Peña have provided the paper with first person accounts and documentation of numerous actions undertaken by the DEA to silence, intimidate, harassment, and even blackmail them into subjugation.

Files obtained by the Post, courtesy of the Freedom of Information Act have confirmed internal communication between several upper level members of the DEA actively conspiring against the couple. Including, but not limited to, explicit correspondence reflecting on the nature of Morley’s morals and whether other members of the agency would be willing to “share her”.

Two years ago, Peña contacted the Post to investigate Morley’s omission from official DEA records and was met by the DEA financially blackmailing one of his students at The University of Miami, orchestrating false sexual assault claims in an attempt to silence their attempts at going to the press with their story.

The Post will continue coverage on these shocking allegations next month.

———

The newspaper trembled as your eyes skimmed over the article. There it was. In print. The summation of your six years with the DEA. Pictures of the three of you on assignment — a copy of the one that had sat framed in your apartment for years. You had been there. You had given your blood, sweat, and tears to the agency and in return, they’d buried your contributions all because you had become a mother.

“I didn’t know that.” You remarked, peering over the edge of the newspaper, watching Javier as he read through his own copy of the Post.

“What?” He questioned, arching a brow at you.

“That they wanted to share me.” Just repeating what you had read made your skin crawl. You sat in briefings with those assholes — stupidly thinking they saw you as an agent and not as a woman. “I must’ve missed that in the FOIA files.”

Javier nodded, “That’s tame, in comparison to what Vickers has sitting on his desk.” He reached over and gave your leg a squeeze. “You good, baby?”

“It’s just surreal.” You admitted, covering his hand with yours as you sat up. “I never thought it would come to this, you know? When we were back in Colombia — before Josie… I would never have imagined this.” You gestured to the paper.

And it was just the beginning. Now that it was out, you were certain the DEA would retaliate. They’d dredge up something to hurt your image, to hurt Javier’s. They played dirty and you weren’t sure how swift their retaliation would be this time.

“I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Chris reads this.” Javier said, loosely shaking out the newspaper before folding it closed and sitting it aside on the coffee table. He stared at you for a long moment and you could feel his eyes on you. “C’mere baby.”

You sighed heavily as you sat the newspaper aside, crawling down the length of the sofa to him. Javier pulled you into his arms and you settled against his chest, listening to his heart beating beneath your ear.

“Are you glad we did this?” Javier questioned, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

You swallowed thickly, nodding slowly. “I think so.” You trailed your fingers over his arm, drawing little patterns against his skin. “You know, it’s really wild to see our relationship put to print. Because it was a quiet affair, we’ve never made it into something.”

Javier played his fingers through your hair gently, his other hand sliding down your back. “Do you want to make it into something?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so.” He chuckled quietly. “But you’re not wrong, baby. Seeing the two of us in the paper like this — it’s fucking weird.” Javier gestured to the newspaper on the table. “Seeing everything put so plainly, spelled out for the world to see.”

You tilted your head to press a kiss to his throat, “Thank you for this very belated Christmas gift.”

Javier snorted, “Well, we had to have a baby and move first, didn’t we?” He stroked his fingers up and down your back.

You cracked a smile, resting your cheek against his chest again. “The last year has been a blur.”

“Make that ten years.”

“Truly.” Your eyes flickered towards the newspaper, your heart best quickening as you stared at the picture of yourself right there on the front page.

One. Two. Three.

You exhaled heavily.

Javier pressed a kiss to the top of your head, just as the phone started ringing in the kitchen. “I should get that. It might be the daycare.” He remarked, reluctantly starting to get up.

You pulled away from him, reclining back on the sofa as you watched him head into the kitchen to catch the call on the third ring.

“Hey, baby?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s for you.”

Your brows rose upwards are the somewhat odd tone Javier was using. You hadn’t actually considered that people might call you in regards to the paper until that moment.

“Who is it?” You questioned, hands on your hips as you stared at him. He had the receiving pressed to his chest to muffle out your voices.

“Lance.”

“What?”

Javier shrugged, a casual indifference that you knew wasn’t indifference.

“Javi,” You rolled your eyes as you took the phone from him. You turned back towards the wall to press the speaker button on the phone. “Hey, Lance! You’re on speaker.”

Lance chuckled coolly, “Saw the headlines this morning, thought I ought to drop a line.”

“Yeah, it’s been a long time coming.” You admitted, folding your arms across your chest. “How’s Sheena?”

“It’s going great. We actually just moved back closer to her parents. She’ll need the help in about four months.”

“Congratulations, Lance.” You offered, “I know how much you wanted kids.”

“Got my wish too. Twins.”

Javier arched a brow at you, looking in between you and the phone.

“What?” You mouthed.

He shook his head and headed over to make himself a cup of coffee, eyes still flickering your direction.

“How are your kids doing?”

“Josie’s a spitfire. I don’t know how she’s going to manage kindergarten.”

“Kindergarten? No shit. How the hell is she five?”

You laughed, “She’s still got a couple months. And Sofía’s doing really well.”

“Sofía. Sheena actually has that one on the name list.”

“It was my mother’s name.” Javier remarked, with just the edge of annoyance to his voice. You stepped away from the phone, curling your fingers around his arm.

“Stop.” You whispered when he tried to pull his arm away from you.

“Well then, I’ll promise to steer Sheena away from the name then.” Lance remarked with a good-natured laugh.

Javier’s expression softened as you cupped his cheek and leaned up on your toes to kiss him. You drew back, brushing your nose against his. “You jealous fool.” You whispered just for him, ruffling your fingers through his hair.

“I wish I was calling just to congratulate the two of you for sticking it to the DEA, but I, uh… I come with some unfavorable information.”

You stiffened and Javier reached for your hand. “What do you mean by unfavorable news?”

“Looks like the DEA got ahead of your story in the Post,” Lance explained. “First thing this morning I had the public relations team at the DEA Headquarters calling me. They were wanting any information I would give them about our relationship.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Javier hissed out.

“Easy there, Peña.” Lance warned him, “I told them we had a good relationship, but we both ultimately wanted different things. They seemed rather disappointed to find out you and I still talk.”

Javier’s hand tightened around yours.

“What kind of questions were they asking?” You questioned, biting down on your bottom lip as you worried about what the DEA could possibly be up to. “Specific questions about our relationship?”

“Start and end date. Whether I suspected that you and Javier were more than partners.” Lance chuckled. “You and I were long over before the two of you got together. I told them they didn’t have a story with me. But that means they’re going to be following other leads that might be able to discredit your story.”

“We have the fucking FOID files. There’s nothing to discredit.” You seethed.

“You’re welcome to pass my contact info along to the journalist,” Lance told you. “I’m happy to lend whatever assistance I might be able to render.”

“You might be a fucking suit, but you’re not a bad guy, Lance.” Javier retorted, his tongue pressed into his cheek as he glared at the phone.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Peña.” Lance countered. “You make her happy and frankly that’s all I care about. You two have a good rest of your day.”

“Thanks for calling, Lance. I’ll pass your information along to Vickers.” You offered as you stepped towards the phone to hang up. “It’s not like we should be surprised that the DEA is already trying to damage control.”

Javier gave you a look, his lips drawn thin. “So you keep in touch with Lance?”

You rolled your eyes, “You are ridiculous. You should be thanking me for keeping in touch with him. Otherwise we wouldn’t know what the DEA is up to right now.” You approached him, poking him in the chest. “Once again, I prove to be a better agent than you.”

“And how’s that?” He questioned, curling his hand around your hip as he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“I keep people close,” You answered, resting a hand on his shoulder. “People who someone might be able to turn against me. I keep that relationship — no matter how badly it ended — in good condition. The old adage is ‘an enemy of my enemy, is my friend’ and I try to keep that from being used against me.”

“Is that why you went to coffee with Elena?”

You shrugged, “I always liked Elena.”

“Me too.” He admitted, “She let me talk about you.”

You made a face, “Pretty sure I talked about you to Lance and neither of us knew why.” You reached down and took both of his hands into yours, interlacing your fingers before bringing them to your lips. You pressed a kiss to each knuckle. “We knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Look what the DEA did just because of a FOIA.”

“Yeah.” Javier sighed heavily, clicking his tongue against his teeth. “I’ll fucking tear that entire institution down if they try to hurt you for this. I’ll burn it all to the ground.”

“Oh, arson.” You pursed your lips, giving him an appraising look. “I hadn’t taken you for an arsonist.”

Javier snorted, tracing his tongue over the edges of his teeth, “DEA deserves to burn. And I’ll use the embers to keep you warm, baby.”

“I’ll get the matches.” You smirked, tracing your fingertip down the length of his nose, before you tilted your chin and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

#javier pena x reader #javier pena #pedro pascal x reader

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