#but i'm trying to be pretty for once because i've been so repressed

[augustinewrites]

sweet nothing ft the fushigojos to make up for the last fic i wrote for them heh

gojo satoru was not made for domesticity. this has always been something you've known, something you've accepted.

you're just not sure that he has.

it's a little past midnight when he trudges into your bedroom, tired lines creasing his pretty face as he shuffles around the room. he greets you with a quiet hey, and a peck on the forehead before stripping off his uniform, tossing it into the basket with a little more force than necessary.

you raise a brow at him, but stay quiet as he stalks into the bathroom. in the years that you've been together, you've learned better than to back an emotionally repressed sorcerer into a corner and force him to say how he's feeling. especially one who’s just gotten back from assignment.

you try and fail to return to the novel you were reading, staring blankly at the page until gojo steps out. his hair is damp, a towel slung low around his waist as he digs around in the closet for underwear.

there’s no pageantry, no winks or eyebrow waggles or light teasing of, like what you see? stuff that would usually make you roll your eyes, but that you suddenly realize has been missing lately.

okay, something is definitely wrong.

so you shut your book, placing it on the nightstand as he crawls into bed next to you. he says nothing, simply reaching across you to flick off your lamp and plunge the room into darkness.

it’s with a heavy sigh that he rests his head in your lap, grabbing your hand and plopping it into his hair before hugging your legs.

"i can't go to okinawa with you guys tomorrow.”

“satoru,” you can’t help but frown, carding your fingers through his hair. “we’ve been planning this trip for months.”

“i know, i’m sorry,” he says, strained. “you should just take the kids without me. take shoko, or something. megumi’s already stocked up on his spf, and tsumiki was really looking forward to picking seashells—”

“satoru,” you interrupt when you catch his voice break. “are you— are you okay?”

he’s crying, you realize when he doesn’t respond, instead pushing his head deeper into your lap, muttering, “no.”

“talk to me,” you murmur, smoothing your hand down his spine.

"i don't want the kids to think that i didn't want to go."

"you've been talking about seeing me in a bikini for weeks, i think they know how badly you wanted to go."

your comment pulls a small laugh out of him, but it's still interrupted by a sniffle.

"what's this really about?" you ask softly.

"i've been...missing things lately," he mutters quietly. "little league games, piano recitals, science fairs. i leave before they're awake, i get back when they're about to go to bed."

sorcerers who are referred to as 'the strongest' don't get days off. they go where they're needed, when they're needed.

"you know they don't hold any of that against you."

"i know," he says, sitting up to look at you. "but i don't want them - or you - to feel like i'm not choosing you. because i would, but i can't. and i'm just tired. of all of it--"

you wrap your arms around him when his voice breaks once more, pulling him into a hug. he reciprocates immediately, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he releases a shaky sigh.

"it's not just about being there for the big things," you murmur. "it's about...being there when they need you to be. i can't hit a baseball to save my life, so you're the one who takes them the park to practice. you're the one who taught tsumiki how to read sheet music, and found a way to explain the concept of infinity to a ten year old so he could win the science fair."

without him, there would be no little league games, piano recitals, or science fairs to attend.

"besides, we can always go on vacation some other time," you assure him, rubbing circles across his back. "it's not worth it if you're not with us."

_____

satoru wakes to the sound of muffled laughter. a quick glance at the alarm clock on his nightstand confirms that it's 7am.

the lack of warmth pressed into his side tells him you're up too. it's rare that anyone is awake before he is, especially on weekends or days that he's set to depart. he can hear bits of your conversation with the kids as he gets ready for the day, changing into his uniform and shoving clothes into a bag.

"what shape should i try to make?" he hears you ask. ah, you must be making pancakes.

"a heart!" tsumiki suggests.

"japan!" megumi argues.

he knows you're going to make both. you're doing so when he saunters onto the scene, humming along to whatever song tsumiki's put on the record player as you drop chocolate chips into the batter.

he sweeps your hair away from your neck, dipping his head down to press a kiss to the nape of your neck.

then he turns to the kids, who are in the process of setting the table. "did, uh, you guys already talk about okinawa?"

tsumiki nods, but megumi just shrugs, wrinkling his nose. "there are a lot of jellyfish there anyway."

he of course goes on to inform everyone of the different kinds of jellyfish and all the horrible ways they could kill you. tsumiki chimes in to say that they won't attack unless they're bothered.

you press a mug of coffee into his hand, standing on the tip of your toes to kiss to his cheek before joining the kids at the table with a plate of pancakes.

the scene that unfolds in front of him is a simple one, but one that he's dreamed of all his life. a family sitting together for a meal, laughing and chatting about things that don't really matter.

the world's always going to need him. but this? this is all he needs.

because gojo satoru wasn't made for domesticity, but for his family? he'll try.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #keeping up with the fushigojos #gojo fluff #sweet nothing by taylor swift #jjk fluff

[itsjaywalkers]

a lil smth under the cut for u guys <3

part 2 part 3

"Potter, if you dare to step any closer, I swear I will knock your teeth out."

Potter halts his advancement as soon as the sentence is out of his mouth, but Regulus remains tense, alert, shoulders stiff and hands itching to curl into fists. Maybe it's because he knows Potter more than enough after all these weeks of watching his matches and interviewing him after them. Weeks of listening to him brag, and taunt, and flirt shamelessly, despite Regulus always being set on retaining some sense of professionalism.

Maybe it's because of the way he smirks at Regulus' threat, or how he raises both hands in mock surrender, the gesture lazy and insincere.

Or maybe it's the fact that they're alone in the ring, even though Regulus should've left with his crew more than half an hour ago. And the fact that Potter isn't wearing a shirt, but he seems to be allergic to them, anyway, so it's not like it fazes him at this point.

That's what he keeps telling himself, at least.

"You can certainly try," Potter says with his hands still up, and offering a tiny shrug. "I don't know if I like your chances, though."

Regulus narrows his eyes. "You don't think I can fight you?"

"I don't think you can win."

He crosses his arms over his chest as he lets out a scoff, and Potter's smirk seems to grow bigger at the sound.

"And why the fuck not?" Regulus questions.

"Because I'm a professional boxer, love," Potter explains, his voice patient, but there's a certain mocking edge in his words that makes Regulus grits his teeth. "I wouldn't be where I am if someone like you could touch me."

"Someone like me?" Regulus repeats a bit incredulously. He can already feel that one vein in his forehead starting to pop out.

James chuckles, shaking his head a little. He finally drops his arms down. "You know what I mean."

"Actually, I don't. And I'm not sure I want to."

"C'mon, love—"

"Don't call me that."

"—you don't even know how to throw a punch."

Regulus blinks at him, not sure if he's heard correctly, and then he does a double take, barely repressing a derisive snort.

"Excuse me?" he murmurs. "Of course I know how to throw a punch."

"You think you know how to throw a punch," Potter corrects him, that infuariating smile still in place. Regulus is tempted to prove him how well he can actually throw a punch just to wipe it off his face.

"I mean, obviously I can't do it like you do, you're a professional athlete, for fuck's sake—"

"Oh, love, don't worry, I'd never hold you to my standards," Potter intervenes with a laugh, eyes shining with mirth. Regulus face is beginning to heat up, and he isn't sure if it's because of anger or something else. "I'm not talking about a boxing punch. I'm talking about a proper punch."

Regulus exhales loudly, fingers twitching. "Potter."

"Yeah?"

"I know how to throw a fucking proper punch."

Potter raises an eyebrow and he lets his gaze to go up and down the length of Regulus' body, slow and intentional. Regulus has a hard time not squirming, battling against his instincts to keep his face empty, to stop his thighs from pressing together.

"I bet you don't," Potter comments, once his eyes finally find Regulus' again. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't make breathing any easier. "You're too pretty to have been getting into fights."

Regulus is unable to suppress an indignant huff, cheeks coulouring at an alarming pace while his expression twists into a scowl.

"You don't fucking know me," he seethes, jaw so clenched it's slowly becoming painful. "You've got no idea of how my life looks like, or what I've done to get where I'm at."

Potter seems unbothered by the outburst. In fact, he kind of looks a little entertained.

"Maybe so," he concedes with a tilt of his head. "But I know you'd break easy."

Regulus' heart skips a beat. "I don't—"

"Just look at you," Potter goes on, staring him up and down once again. He still sounds slightly mocking, but there's something else in his tone this time. Something darker. "So fucking gorgeous. Holding yourself like you're goddamn royalty. You're feisty, and you're sneaky, I'll give you that, but you'd fold embarrisingly fast against me, wouldn't you, love?"

Regulus gulps, throat suddenly so dry it feels like sandpaper. He tries to shake his head, but his body isn't responding, and when he opens his mouth to snap back, nothing comes out of it.

"You like to act all tough and cold and as if nothing can touch you, but if I were to lay my hands on you—"

"Potter," Regulus manages to spit out, but it sounds hoarse. Weak.

"Oh, you'd break so beautifully for me, right, love? You'd put a bit of a fight at first, because you can't help yourself, and I like that about you anyway, but you'd let go at some point."

"Potter," he tries again, and it sounds a bit sharper, but still too close to a whimper for Regulus' tastes.

"I'd fucking ruin you if you allowed me to, Regulus." His name makes him tremble, goosebumps breaking into his skin, and Regulus has to bite his tongue to stop an inappropriate noise from escaping. "I know you want to. You're really fucking stubborn, and you almost fooled me that first time, that's true, but one can only keep that facade for so long. I've seen how you look at me."

"And how do I look at you?"

"Like all those girls who can't ask me for an autograph without blushing, thinking of me when they have their hands between their legs," Potter responds, gaze so intense it makes Regulus want to scream. "Like your cameraman whenever I stand a bit too close to him, always shifting his body the slightest bit so his shoulder grazes mine. Like Lily whenever I'm between her thighs, and she's begging me to let her come."

Regulus almost gasps, burning with fury but also with something that has nothing to do with it.

The audacity of this man, really. Regulus hates him. Despises him, even. Him and his absurd amount of confidence that has no business being this attractive.

It's hard to pretend to be unaffacted. To pretend he doesn't feel a stab in his stomach by that last statement, by the thought of James and Lily being together, even though it's something he's known almost since the beginning. To act like he doesn't care, like he isn't fucking aching between his legs, wet and hot and desperate.

Regulus doesn't think he completely manages it.

"You're so fucking full of yourself," Regulus grinds out, digging his nails into his arms so hard he's sure to leave marks.

"And yet I'm not hearing you deny it," Potter sing-songs, still grinning widely.

"I don't like you," Regulus insists, raising his chin.

"But you want me to fuck you."

This time, a strangled sound, high-pitched and bordering on needy, manages to slip out of Regulus' mouth, and James shows teeth, that feral light that appears every time he wins a match shining in his brown eyes.

"You wish," Regulus says, trying to save whatever dignity he has left, trying to fix this stupid mistake, this amateur slip up.

"I do," Potter confirms with ease, and Regulus can't swallow properly with the knot he has stuck in between his vocal chords.

"Shut up," it's all that Regulus can get out, which is quite pathetic, but still better than nothing.

"That's still not a denial," Potter points out, satisfaction oozing of him and making Regulus see red.

"I literally can't fucking stand you. I don't think it's necessary for me to tell you that I don't want anything to do with you," Regulus snaps. "Besides, if so many people are tripping all over themselves for you, then I don't understand why you're not bothering them instead."

"Because I want you."

Regulus actually chokes after that, a gulp of air getting stuck in his throat and his heart beating madly between his ribs.

"No." He shakes his head, furiously, desperately, and takes a step back almost at the same time that Potter takes a step forward.

"Yes," the other man presses, undeterred. "I want you, Regulus."

"Potter. Shut up."

"I can make you feel so good, love. You need to stop depriving yourself."

"Potter."

"I know you've thought about it. About me. I'm sure you're thinking about it now, about how amazing I'd feel between your legs, on top of you. Inside you."

"Potter. Stop."

"I bet your underwear is fucking soaked—"

"James."

It slips, sneaking past his lips without Regulus' permission, going unnoticed until it's too late to stop it, or take it back. He has the silly urge to cover his mouth with his mouth, as if that'd be enough to erase the word, the power and implications that name holds.

The reaction is almost immediate.

James' pupils spread out, eating at his irises at a concerning pace. Regulus is so distracted looking at them, that it takes him a moment to realise James is advancing, rushing towards him like a man on a mission.

Regulus retreats, nearly falling over in his haste, doing his best to get as far away from the other man as possible. But James is faster than him, and his back ends up colliding against one of the pillars of the ring. James has his arms bracketing his head in a matter of seconds, and all of a sudden, Regulus is trapped. With absolutely nowhere to go.

"Get away from me!" Regulus exclaims, voice all wrong and wobbly, hands coming up to push at James' chest but not daring to touch.

"Say it again," James demands, completely ignoring him.

"What?"

"Say it again."

Regulus scoffs weakly. "I don't want to."

"Regulus."

"Get. The fuck. Away. From me."

"Regulus."

It shakes him to his very core, and he's helpless to the shudder that rattles his frame, to the way his eyes screw close, so very tight his vision fills up with shiny spots.

When he opens them again, a few moments later, he ends up meeting James' hungry gaze head on.

It destroys the last of his defences.

"James," he repeats in a whisper, heat coiling in his stomach at the other man's intake of breath.

"Again," James asks, almost demands, voice low and strained.

"James."

"Again." And it's a beg.

"James."

"Yeah," the other man mumbles to himself. "Yeah."

James leans forward, and Regulus feels like he's about go into cardiac arrest until James turns his head at the very last second, mouth grazing the lobe of his ear instead of his lips.

"I'll teach you," he tells him softly. Quietly.

"What?" he asks, hardly breathing and refusing to move a single muscle.

James huffs, and it's amused. "How to throw a punch."

"My brother already taught me," Regulus retorts with a roll of his eyes. "And he's better than you."

"Was better than me," James shoots back, and despite this being a topic that usually annoys him, always getting him all petty and defensive, it barely drags an irritated sigh out of him this time.

"Winning one match doesn't mean anything."

"Except that it does."

"No, it doesn't. Sirius' been unbeatable for literal years, and he's worked his arse off to get to where he is, and you'll never—"

"C'mon, love," James whines against his ear, and Regulus has to swallow a gasp. "I'll lend you some comfier clothes and I'll show you how to stand and some tricks, make sure next time I'm being too much of a prick you can shut me up nicely. Maybe you'll even break my nose."

Regulus bites his lower lip, refusing to allow the corners of his mouth to curl upwards. "That does sound good."

James chuckles, and Regulus doesn't acknowledge the way that sounds fills his chest with warmth.

"So? Okay?" James wonders.

Regulus closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Hopes he won't come to regret this, and sends a silent apology to his brother.

He opens his eyes.

"Okay."

#been thinking about them lately #and i couldn't help myself #besides i haven't written anything in like . 5 days #i was actually going insane #anyways this is severely unedited and it's almost 3am and im fucking knackered #so im sorry if it doesn't make sense #but well i tried #and i had fun which is what matters etc #boxer james agenda

[concert-bflat]

I need to rant about Ivan guys guys I neeed to rant about Ivan (<--- keeps trying to write fics of him but Never finishes him) like God this man is so gay and so in love it genuinely hurts it Hurts and I am Injured by it and the imagrey is Sooo Good (and Yes this is probably me just parroting stuff Everyone has already said before but shut up it's my turn now!! (aka please I've been holding in these thoughts for Months now I must let them out of their cage before one of them Dies)) [Edit I am Not fucking proofreading this I spent 2 hours on it if there is a mistake you Imagined it </3]

Just like,

You can see it in the way he sees the stars in Till. His own hopes for freedom and the only real light in this world that he lost sight of in Till. He is the hope and wish for freedom that he has shut away and repressed and it makes him fall So Hard

Or how you only really see that red in his eyes (after. Almost Dying) when he's with or singing/thinking about how Till has Inspired him, like a fire has been lit inside him. A fire lit in the darkness. . hmm...

even at the end of the song, where he knows full well that he absolutely Crushed his opponent and also knows full well that Till is his next one. I'm sick. I'm so sick.

Or like. When he frees Till and everything is just Engulfed in that red now. How Till has that same fire in his eyes, he and Ivan are on the same page now. They see that same hope for freedom and they both share it. They're running towards the light (like the sky's lighter there, more on that in a sec), hell, the corners of the right side of the screen are literally tinted in LIGHT GREEN. Till's color. God dammit the whole scene is tinted in red and green. They are literally Complementary Colors. I'mmm soooooooo (God these scenes are soo pretty too I was genuinely Stunned when I first saw this)

DID YOU EVEN NOTICE I ONLY NOTICED NOW the Stars are fucking green. You can see it better in some of the Later Images but they are Literally Green because Ivan sees the stars in Till and uuuughsdfbshb

OR LIKE WHEN TILL TURNS BACK?? AND. And that red is no longer in his eyes and before The Realization hits Ivan his eyes are just Glowing with red. Because he was just Filled with that hope. Freedom was, potentially, Right There

Did you guys even notice in that like. 5 frames in the half-second animation of Till turning away he's totally engulfed in his shade of green. Like of Course. That's such a Till thing to do because of Course he's running back he never actually liked Ivan that way in the first place.

And also the lighting of the sky Flips. Because the light has always been with Till. And Ivan's left in the darkness. In the. Haha. Ha. Black Sorrow. Aha *sits down cries*

And Again with this mf's stupid eyes how they revert to just black because that hope's been stripped away again, how it's even reflected in his present self singing as he reminisces on it. Fucking. Ivan's Expression when Till runs away.T here's so fucking much like the irony. Like did he even see Till hesitate or did he just see him turn and run away.

Like the irony that the guy who's always breaking the rules and fighting and defying and clearly hating living in a world like this won't run away with him, who has always been passive and obeying the rules and just accepting captivity and has been repressing his desire for freedom is so Bitter and Awful but also he always Knew this would happen what the Hell was he thinking this was such a stupid idea like

this man gets No Breaks No Breaks Ever oh yeah btw they're facing off against each other in a literal Death Match. That they might've had a Chance of avoiding if they ran away. Ahah. Hh *sob*

Also this art brings me so much Joy as much as it hurts me on a visceral level like. Ivan Always has his eyes on Till but it goes from a fond smile. Like So Fond flat out lovestruck affectionate gaze because he loves this man and loves spending time with him to a grimace once they're on stage. How Till never really changes or really Has Changed, and that's why Ivan loves him as much as he is resentful towards him. How that's what brought them here, to the stage. How Ivan changed for Till and Because of Till but still Till is like a god damn immovable object with how he stubbornly sticks to his ways. There's such resentment but isn't he himself also stubborn for always sticking to Till anyways? Hell, he's singing all about him in Round 3 and loses control over his own emotions and expressions during it I'mmm Guhhh

Also the first image is titled Observation while the second one is titled Decision(? I think). Like mf What are you deciding. What happened Last Time you decided to do something I'm going to punt you into the next planet

Speaking of observing,

Just. How Ivan's Always Observing. I saw one person point out he's like a background character and it's like he sees himself as one too. He is a passive observer in his Own Life. How he watches all the other children in Anakt garden play. How his childhood leading him to Anakt Garden just kind of. Happens around him while he watches indifferently.

How he's always trailing behind Till. Or how he tends to just. Observe quietly and is portrayed as such.

Not to mention how he doesn't appear in the memories of Anyone else's rounds, not even Till's, even when he literally (temporarily) freed him from the city. He doesn't even appear At All in Luka's round even though we get a clear shot of Till getting his hopes and dreams shattered (though it Does parallel another shot of him from Round 2)

And then the One Times he tries to take action. Or start something. It gets rejected and he's resigned to just. Trailing behind again. Because of Course he'll always follow after Till. And of Course he's fucking bitter about it and bitter about himself because he Knew this would happen and Till is Always looking at someone else and that Never Changes but. He just thought for a moment that he could change something. Man.

Oh I forgot to talk about the competitions themselves huh? Wellll, (and I'll Attempt to keep it brief because I've been writing this post for Much too long but)

Till spends his first round singing completely devotedly to Mizi. Hell, his song wasn't even in the program, it's likely- no, almost definitely something he wrote entirely for her, and Ivan has no part in it, just watches bitterly as he passes out after his, er, stunt at the end

And continues to be passed out for almost the entirety of Ivan's song

Oh but he woke up for the emotional/musical climax at least, going over Ivan's most important memory of them together, that's cool at least right?! Surely Till felt something from that

Maybe they can talk something out, or at least acknowledge their relationship in Some way. Maybe Ivan could at least be seen by Till-

Aaand Till's Actual love interest Supposedly gets shot and now he probably thinks she's dead. His attention is turned to her once again, like it's always been from the start. He never really changes huh?

Better luck next time Ivan--

Just. This mf Never Wins and it makes me Laugh as much as it makes me So Sad

Gets hopes and dreams and future crushed by aliens (standard stuff). Sold off in an auction. Put in prestigious singing school and up to that point he hasn't really cared about Anything and has simply been going through the motions.

Meets boy that basically embodies the freedom and hope he used to have. Falls badly in love. Boy loves someone else. Tries to free him and give him the thing he'd surely want most. Rejected. Back to school you go loser.

Oh btw this school is to train you for a competition to the death. Btw you're facing off against that boy you love in the semi-finals of said death competition. And you might kill him or he'll kill you. Because you didn't run away when you had the chance.

Also he didn't sing or think about you at all during his round. In fact I'm pretty sure he wrote a whole ass song that wasn't even registered in the Alien Queue or whatever for someone else. Also he probably has hardly looked at you. Also he was unconscious for almost the entirety of your song. Except for the part where you lost control of your emotions.

Oh but that doesn't matter now because now he thinks the person He likes was just killed. So he's kiiinda gonna be distracted by that. And that might fuck up your round with him. Sorry man

This was Originally a rant about how much I love Black Sorrow's imagery and the portrayal of Ivan's love because this man clearly has Complex Emotions and then Kinda derailed into me just ranting about how many L's he's being handed before getting the executioner's blade. Uhhhhh oops. Congrats on sticking to the end though?

I just love Ivan very much. He is So Bitter and so Horribly In Love and looks up to and is inspired by Till So Much and I wish people explored him on a deeper level/more personally.

I wish I saw more deep looks at Ivan/Till, there's clearly Complicated Things going on there. Hell, we don't even know what Till's pov on the whole thing is aside from that One scene of him hesitating before running away from Ivan. As much as I love fluffy interpretations of them, I (did I mention that I'm an angst addict btw. Could You Tell) wish all their Complexities could be acknowledged. Like how Ivan Clearly puts Till on such a spotlight and it is Such a downfall for him through and through and he Kinda knows it but also What Else does he Have and he really looks up to him Sooo Much (just. Look at them in that official art of them in Anakt Garden !!!) and deep down just wants to run away from this horrible place and wants to run with Till, the Light of his life the fire in the darkness the fucking stars the universe his black sorrow just. Oh My God I need to end this post already I was supposed to be studying but spent those 2 hours Writing instead

But anyways yeah uuhhh long story short? This guy is a gay loser. He tries to look sooo cool and smooth but he is suuuch a gay lovestruck loser and his rose tinted glasses are so thick he can't see shit (I'm pretty sure I quoted that from something (but also no genuinely when I first got into alnst after just watching the first 3 rounds videos and saw Ivan in official art I was So Surprised like "Oh he's actually That kind of mf that tries to look Cool and Hot but is actually just Pathetic and Sad and Gay I thought he was Just Sad and Gay")) he's probably also touchstarved as hell idk and his love is doomed by the narrative (unless Hyuna saves his and Till's asses. Buuut we'll see </333)

Love ya Ivan keep taking L's <3333 mwah

#alien stage #alnst #ivan alien stage #till alien stage #ivantill #tillvan #character analysis #oh my god i spent like 2 hours onthis #i was supposed to be studyinnnggg #and now i need to go to sleep like asap #god damn you ivan #this is karma. but fr this guy just Keeps Losing it's so sad and funny #number 1 homosexual loser <3 #i love this stupid little gay man with his dumb red eyes and his stupid tiny fang #dumbass /affectionate #touchstarved dumbass #okay i need to shut up now #thank you for humoring me alnst fandom

[normal-thoughts-official]

i need mal to have a mental breakdown so bad it makes me look stupid

this is the part where i beg you to hear me out. listen. mal's been a bit more like himself these last few chapters but his route still feels stilted. i know you know what i'm talking about. every time there is one of those "one of the LIs reacts to you getting hurt or something of the surt" things, mal's is always the most lukewarm, if not outright cold. the passion and personality only really comes out when we kiss. and like, listen, i romance almost exclusively women and POC (usually Black or brown POC) in this app (I'm pretty sure Aerin is the only white male LI I've ever had anything with? lol), so i'm very very used to my LIs of choice having obviously had a lot less thought when their routes were written. but this is different. it feels almost intentional. and his book 1 route wasn't like this, either

and what calls my attention the most is that mal almost never smiles lately. in book 1 smiling was pretty much mal's default sprite. i think mal was smiling, like, 50% of the time he was on screen, if not more, and the other expressions had to share the rest among each other. but in book 2 we go entire chapters without mal smiling once. and if you pay attention he almost never looks angry or sad, either (he never looked sad a lot but he did look angry often enough, i know because i always laugh at his angry face. rip king ily but calm down). he is in his neutral expression sprite 90% of the fucking time. he looks neutral more often than tyril does (although tyril obviously smiles a lot more in book 2 than he did in book 1, it's noticeable. still, though, he's tyril)

and we know that mal used humor and an untouchable persona as a defense mechanism in book 1, it's been said. so it makes sense that mal was smiling all the time; i remember mal felt more real when his face turned neutral, at least to me. and mal keeps making the same jokes as before, so - why is he not smiling?

and like we know that mal is not okay. it's been shown. the self sacrificial tendencies, the overworking himself, the self doubt. it's been said in text. but i think the neutral sprite is the biggest clue here. because a lot of the time, mal is being objectively funny, but his neutral sprite makes his jokes feel flat. mal feels flat. and i think it's because he's trying to cling to his old coping mechanisms - charming, funny personality - but he doesn't have the energy to anymore, because he's changed, because he's exhausted. and he's said that he felt like he was trying to keep the group together on his own, and we know that mal, for all his damn posturing, takes his responsibilities seriously when he accepts them. he learned how to patch a roof at age 6 so wren could sleep better. he paid off her debt before he paid his. he built a fucking orphanage, for fuck's sake. when mal decides that he's gonna do something, he gives it his all, and he refuses to be stopped. he's going to the goddamn thieves guild to help MC. he's been on the run from the guild for fucking years and they never found him despite him being in whitetower. this mf is dedicated

all of that is to say: during this last year, mal wouldn't stop. he refused to stop. going to the garden every day. building the orphanage. keeping tabs on imtura (i'll never shut up about it HE KEPT TABS ON IMTURA). trying to keep the friend group together. taking care of and feeding a bunch of fucking orphans. the only way to keep yourself going with this much responsibility at once is by repressing every fucking feeling hard and not thinking about anything else. which explains the constant neutral face. mal can't feel anything, because he barricaded everything inside himself so he could keep going. the only way he can ever express himself is physically, when he kisses MC, and that's about it. and so he never quite expresses any feeling, even concern for MC, or smiling, or anything, because he's too busy not stopping, because if he stops he'll crumble

so like. for this to have any closure at all. mal has to crumble. i think he's past the point where he can talk about this healthily and avoid a major breakdown. there's too much threatening to burst, and he's too tired. i genuinely cannot see any way for this to be resolved that doesn't involve mal fucking breaking down, and finally acknowledging how much he's hurting. he's gonna have to stop and look at this, and clearly this will only happen once it comes bursting out of him

and i want it, god damn it! i want mal to fucking lose it. i want that catharsis and i want the angst and i want the drama. fuck!!!!

but if there was ever a time for mal to lose his shit, it was chapter 13. i even wrote about it at the time. i mean, he had just been talking with MC about how much he was hurting when they were gone. fixing the roof and talking about how he feels like he's dragging the group down and he's the least important one. and then MC disappeared. again. in the shadow realm. with valax. and he had no idea where they were. and... nothing. nada. "don't do that to me again 😐". so i struggle to imagine what could possibly be worse than that to trigger a breakdown. MC full on dying and ressurrecting nia style? i mean, seriously

and so i'm climbing the walls because if mal has a breakdown? then everything up to this point will have been good writing. the way every scene felt stilted, most jokes fell flat, everyone felt that distance between mal and MC, that shitass "reunion", it will all have been part of his arc and i'll love it and hold it dearly because oh yeah, i fucking love emotional repression for the sake of self sacrifice, sign me the fuck up. but if not then i don't see how any of this can be part of a coherent arc, and so it'll just have. sucked. after his route in book 1 being so good and satisfying they just, what, gave up? lost their groove the first few chapters and then regained it later but never really addressed it? i don't know, man. i really hope whatever's coming is good but i'm used to choices letting me down, so

this post doesn't have a beautiful conclusion or anything i'm just kinda anxious and frustrated. this is why i hate reading things that aren't finished. god damn it

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #playchoices #blades of light and shadow #bolas #bolas2 spoilers #mal volari #choices book club #meta #of sorts. idk im tired #i shouldn't even be writing this i should be finishing my assignments but i'm proscratinating by writing something else instead #overflowing trashcan

[mikunology]

New Mikunology Files #1: CV Powers

omg here we go again

I've been on break a little while but I've been thinking hard recently and I want to share, so! I got an ask long ago about how Miku and friends' superpowers worked in my AU, and I answered it with what I had at the time, but after a lot of thought I straightened something more out I'm pretty satisfied with. I could add on potentially, though, because this AU is an eternal WIP. But y'know.

I'm pretty much gonna copy my notes. (Also sorry if this is formatted oddly, I'm on mobile right now.) Read below the cut! 👇

So, let's recap with the basics.

The Crypton CV androids are outfitted with special cores that function as their "hearts" - they're located in their chests. These cores are made of a special material that not only allows the CVs to learn and experience humanlike emotions, but also have the ability to change "feelings" into "energy": this is what gives them their superpowers. (They found this out by accident.) Meiko has dubbed this energy "Voltage".

The thing about Voltage, though, is that it's kind of unstable, and really powerful. Because of that, it's best for it to be used sparingly; the CVs can probably use it once or twice per fight (Module transformations excluded). Overuse of Voltage can cause the CVs to short/overload or become exhausted (which isn't great when you're trying to finish off a fight).

Voltage can get stronger with strong emotions, so the group can occasionally spark their powers by accident if they get particularly emotional. Conversely, being too stoic or repressing emotions too much can reduce Voltage power. (Hence, it takes Luka much longer to truly break her powers in.)

Voltage also gives the group the ability to use Modules, chunks of pure Voltage energy that can give them a major power boost and change their appearances, as well as grant them new powers. (For example, Miku acquiring the Raspberryism Module gives her a mega punch ability and a new appearance resembling the character Raspberry Monster.)

Each of the CVs possess a unique way to channel their Voltage (special ability):

Miku's is Voltage Resonance. It gives Miku the ability to "resonate" with someone else's feelings and thoughts. This way, she can use this temporary empathic link to induce feelings, and given it's Miku, it's usually through song (for example, if she encounters a Module monster who's fueled by sadness, she can use Voltage Resonance to see what they're feeling and counter by giving them a song of hope or happiness). She can't outright control emotions like this, mind you, they're more like a powerful emotional suggestion. The flip side to this is that it can be ignored if a character is staunch about it (and technically regardless it wears off eventually, it just gives Miku enough time to give the person a "head start", if that makes sense?) and it can also mess Miku's own feelings up a bit if she's neglects to keep herself focused. It's also best used when the target is already vulnerable.

Rin and Len's is Voltage Link. Kind of similar to Miku's, but unique in that it mainly works with each other: it gives the twins a power boost and allows them to telepathically link themselves, making them temporarily "of one mind and body". It works best with each other since they're twins/mirrors, but they can use it with others... it's just way more difficult to keep it stable unless they understand the other person really well. Which is rare.

Luka's ability is Voltage Lariat. Also kinda unique in that can be both offensive and defensive, depending on what Luka's aiming for - Luka creates a field of Voltage that can either be a sort of healing spot (giving energy to everything in it) or a blast zone (taking energy from anything in it and giving it to Luka). Luka can probably do one of these each per fight, but she's gotta choose carefully when to use it. The fields also don't last long. (Why's this sound so video gamey? But this is the best I could come up with that I think works for her.)

Lastly, all CVs get one extra ability that is usually their "finisher" when all together: Voltage Wave. Not much to this one, just all the CVs using their Voltage to create a super rainbow energy beam!! Usually does the trick. (Fun fact: I like to think that it was rare for Miku and the twins to be able to pull off this move given they were inexperienced and it took a lot of power to pull off; with Luka's inclusion, it's way easier!)

Lastly, the CVs do have a few regular old stock superpowers: super strength (Rin's specialty), flight (Miku's specialty; also Luka is the only one in the group who doesn't fly too much when not necessary), super speed (to a degree at least), super reflexes, super hearing (they're musicians, after all!), super durability, the ability to download themselves into technology (robot perk) and the ability to manipulate hologram/hard light technology.

And that's pretty much it! I hope all of that makes some amount of sense. I'm sorry if I missed some stuff, I'll try to fill it in eventually.

#text #vocal android verse #vocaloid au #vocaloid #au lore #i did my best

[funnywormz]

OUUGHHUIIIUIOO DIMPOLE

edit: image description written by @princess-of-purple-prose ! thank you!

[ID: An in-character interview with Dimple from Mob Psycho 100 on 4chan. It reads:

>Interview with Dimple

>Q1. What kind of person were you when you were alive?

A. I forgot... But since its me, I'm sure it was a hella sexy dude.

>Q2. It seems you can communicate with Reigen when you're possessing him. How is that different from others?

A. Who knows. It's probably because we have a shared purpose. Even when you're both sitting in a car, only one of you can use the steering wheel, right? So unless two people agree exactly on which direction they're going, the car's not going to move in the right direction with two people behind the steering wheel. Ordinary people aren't usually conscious when I'm possessing them. It's different for espers, though. Especially strong ones, who can't even possess.

>Q3. What do you feel like?

A. Wet, smooth, slippery. A bit cold, but that can be adjusted. But it's not like ordinary people can touch me to begin with.

>Q4. Why did you stay in the world after giving up on becoming a god?

A. I'm not sure either... Spirits are born from a purpose, like resentment or obsession. Only with strong desire can the spirit body be maintained. But maybe it's like what Mob said. People are just people. You don't have to exist for a reason, and it doesn't matter if you care about it or not. Why does that kid occasionally say something profound when he's dealing with something besides himself?

>Q5. Is there anyone you particularly enjoyed possessing? Anyone you want to try?

A. That old lady or whatever guarding Claw. People who have very little spiritual resistance will do whatever you want, so that feels nice. Being the cult leader of LOL was especially fun! One person that surprised me was the leader of the Body Improvement Club. It was like manipulating a giant robot! Someone I'd want to try... probably Hanazawa. If you give him to me, I'm sure I can take him from being the school idol to the least popular guy in school in a day.

>Q6. What do you do when Mob's at school?

A. I've been going to Spirits and Such more often because interesting things occasionally happen there. Besides that, sometimes I take a walk, watch TV, or I check out your house. (evil laughter) I'm kidding, of course.

A. He's always trying to play pranks and thinks he's got Mob fooled, which is pretty funny to watch. Or at least that's what I thought, but it turns out Mob is really just that gullible. Reigen's like that guy who keeps building shaky towers out of building blocks, and it should come as no surprise when they collapse. He's always using some weird and question means of maintaining it all, and sometimes I just want to poke him a little bit and make him fall. ...I have to repress that desire.

>Q8. If you could become a human and become Mob's friend, what would you do?

A. Become a human... Make friends... Travel, eat food, play sports. Anything would be good, but I'd just like to pass the time as usual. That's enough to make good memories. ...or actually, I think I'd like to do sumo! Even if I can't beat him in powers, I want to use my bodily strength and muscles to toss Mob around. Let him see how that feels like.

>Q9. What was your first impression of Mob? How about now?

A. I thought he was just a kid so I underestimated him. But instead he was scary as fuck. I pissed my pants, okay? I don't think I understand him as much now since he's grown up a lot. I wonder how he'll end up.

>Q10. How can someone see you? A. You need to think that seeing me is something completely natural. Once you can fool your brain, your perspective changes. This is something that you can train, but maybe something completely unexpected will happen. So it's dangerous and not recommended. The easy way is to just let me possess you. The important thing is just to break the common sense that forms your vision.

Q11. Can you eat ordinary food? Please tell me your favorite food!

A. I can still eat and drink, and I'll absorb the energy in the food. My favorite food? Beans and peanuts. That's cute? Yeah, that's right. Also alcohol. Beer has the best alcohol fragrance. You say I sound like your dad? Hmph, shut up.

>Q12. What's the first thing you remember?

A. The memory of my life is entirely gone... I can't remember at all. I feel like it should be like it is now. I stare at the sky a lot. There's some old memories from right after I became a spirit, probably in a cemetery. But I don't know if I have a tomb somewhere. It's all like a prior life to me, anyways. One day, will I forget about what's happening now, too...? Ugh, that sounds like something an ordinary living person would be worried about. Forget about it. End ID]

#im so obsessed with him this is fueling me so much

[vickiewinter111]

how to manifest quick guide

+ success story

hi guys, my name is flora ! i've been in the manifesting community for a bit more than year and in this blog i'm going to share with you how i personally manifested my dream life and how you can do it to !

⚠️ if this doesn't work for you and something else does, then it's absolutely fine ! just bcs we don't manifest the same way doesn't mean one of us is 'wrong'... as long as it works !

HOW TO MANIFEST

1.Self Concept

For me, the most important thing is to have a good self concept. I have personally never manifested ANYTHING without having a good self concept. I had my sp having a crush on me for 2 years and I only knew it when my self concept was right and I knew my value.

It may not seem fair, but you can't attract anything if you don't love/respect yourself. And yes, it's hard to do so when you hate everything about your life, your body, your relationships, your financial situation etc but nobody's going to help you unless you step up for yourself.

First key to manifesting is knowing your worth !

2.Deciding you already have what you want

You don't have to overcomplicate it. It can be as simple as : healthy relationship with my sp, new clothes, bigger lips.

Once you know what you want, decide that it's already yours. It can be a bit hard to do it at first because you're going to think that you're delusional. But when you think you're delusional, remember who tf you are?! you can get whatever it is that you want and it's not a mirror or numbers on a screen that are going to tell you otherwise.

Look around you and see how the world is abundant. And how many people have what it is that you want, the relationship, the clothes, the lips. All you have to do is choose it.

3.Make the process fun

Manifesting shouldn't feel like a chore. You can do whatever makes you feel good, like turn it into a game maybe ! Create playlists that match the mood of what you want, draw something, visualize if you like it, write a journal...

Things I personnaly like are :

playlists

when there's a storm everytime there's a ⚡ i tell myself it's manifesting

pretending that my desires are in a 'package' that the universe is going to deliver to my door

rampage abt how happy i am to have my desire

4.Live the present

You are going to enjoy your manifestation in the present moment. So there's no point in living in the past. Your past doesn't need you. Do the healing you need to do and never repress your emotions, but don't let yourself spiral or get stuck because it is not serving you and simply not going to help no matter how stressful the situation may be.

DON'T FOCUS ON TIME for the love of god ! Just keep going with your life and don't overcomplicate the process. Treat yourself like a baby and do everything you like. Never force yourself to do something just to please someone. Enjoy your life !! Everything is going to be okay

SUCCESS STORY

Physical appearance (SP + dream life later)

I used to look like this. I know I was not ugly but this was not the appearance I wanted and I was actually getting bullied at this time so my opinion of myself was really low. I felt lonely all the time, I had almost only one close friend, and my love life was basically desastrous.

(i look 11 but i kept looking like this until last year lol i am 16 now)

Listen, I never affirmed. I never did guided mediations, or sport, or affirmations, or visualization, or SATS, or anything. Physical appearance was my first successfull manifestation and I wasn't even aware that manifestation was a thing back then.

But one day I realized I was really fed up and I told myself 'no but i am smart and pretty and everything why would ppl keep bullying me like tf. also why wouldn't i attract the guys i like have you seen me ?' and it's a bit weird but somehow i was immediately convinced of what i was saying.

Now my body/face look like this and when i tell you i pull up anyone i want its true. When i go out litteraly all men break their necks to try to see me again and i get asked for my insta/snap like 15 times at least whenever i go out. SO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF PLS ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD I PROMISE !

I will post the sp + dream life success story in another post since this one is already longer than the bible alzjzkaoal.

Love &lt;3

#manifestation #successtory #nevile goddard #affirmations #law of assumption #law of attraction #law of the universe #mindset #mental diet #manifesting #spiritualgrowth #spiritualknowledge onnavratri #spirituality

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

unbelievable.. Theft and stealimg quastions.. Also umm 1, 12 and/or 20 for fabbylaris please and thank you :3 whichever question you wanna answer

1) who fell first, and who fell harder?

fabby for both. i know this to be true. honestly, if it wasn't for fabby falling for her to begin with- and making an effort to get closer to her than coworkers probably had ought to be- i don't know if solaris ever would have fallen back. it takes until fabby enters the picture for solaris to actually learn that romance is something that she would be willing to work for and care about.

this isn't to say that solaris didn't fall painfully hard. honestly, the only reason fabby fell harder is because of her deep and horribly repressed yearning that threatened to explode out of her chest every time she was in the privacy of her own home. but- as someone who headcanons solaris as a demiromantic who... doesn't really have friends- the lane change from platonic to romantic attraction hit her like a freight train.

imagine some late-thirties-early-forties 6'2 horrifyingly scarred woman experiencing the equivalent of a grade school crush for the first time. if it didn't feel so good it would be fucked up. you mean to tell her this happens to 'regular' people all the time?? what's wrong with them???

20) their absolute favorite thing about each other in the whole wide world.

if they both have to pick just one?? i honestly think they'd have the same answer, funnily enough. that the other cared enough about them to give them a chance...

in any universe in which fabbylaris is possible, i would imagine zor is out of the picture- either permanently, or that they're just not living under their all-seeing eye anymore. i think that one of fabby's biggest concerns about their relationship (whether she's consciously aware of it or not) is how zor molded her into exactly what they wanted her to be.

fabby well and truly thought she was trapped under zor's thumb forever. she didn't have a choice. her every decision and action and thought needed to revolve around them. her loyalty- first and foremost- was to them...

but solaris was always there for her. a hand on her shoulder. an advocate once she was too far gone to vouch for herself anymore. a breath of fresh air. a constant reminder that the way they were treating her wasn't right. wasn't normal. wasn't loving. she would fight against zor of all people, for... her sake? no one would have done that...

as for solaris? there's a reason why she doesn't have a lot of friends. she's very... leery of the way people perceive her. she's spent her entire life dealing with people who are either terrified of her, hate her on the basis of nothing, or undervalue her when she damn well knows her worth.

... and it wasn't that fabby wasn't like that in the beginning. the two of them couldn't have been any less alike. but fabby... changed. it took a lot of time, but she fought through her pride and grew to outwardly respect her and her work. and eventually, to love her. to teach her that there's such a thing as love worth clinging to...

she kind of resolved to the fact that no one who started with a bad impression of her on the basis of nothing would ever change... that there was no reason to try convincing them to change. but fabby broke her expectations in a way that kind of shattered her worldview at the time.

12) one to three songs that remind you of them.

okay i. i don't listen to a lot of music. i needed to scrape the most Normie songs off my spotify playlist because all i listen to is gamer music.... and unfortunately there's not a lot of gamer music. that's also yuri.

i've mentioned this before, but If I Didn't Have You from sympathy jones is like. the peak fabbylaris campy villain duet song. to ME. and i'm right.

i also kind of think Wherever We Are Now from. cassette beasts. is a pretty good pick. when it comes to their shared theme of abandoning pretty much everything they know to allow themselves the ability to be together. then it's sort of like... now what? crafting a new life for themselves but its oukay... because they have each other... aaugh

#ask #ieytd #commander solaris #the fabricator #fabbylaris #NOT supposed to be this long...... aaaugh #music makes me. shiver. im not good at that

[negative-speedforce]

“ i wouldn’t do that if i were you. ”, “ go! get out of here! run! ”, “ don’t get in my way. ”, “ what’s going on in that head of yours? ”, “ you do not turn against your family. ”, “ you’ve never had to fight me. ”, “ it’s over. you lost. ”, and/or “ you can’t protect any of them. ” :)

"You've never had to fight me."

With: @vexic929 's Eoland and my Siv

"Who are you?" Siv narrowed her eyes at the woman sitting on her sofa. "Get out of my house, or you'll regret it."

"I doubt someone like you is capable of that." The woman, who was fairly tall, with striking red eyes and platinum hair, replied. "I detected one of my doppelgangers here. Where are they?'

"There's no one like you here, lady. Have you tried the freak show?" Siv crossed their arms. "Now, get out. I'm not joking."

"I'll stay as long as I like." She replied. "Bring me the Thawne of this world, and I'll go in peace."

Siv groaned. "Shit. Yep. That checks out. What did you say your name was?"

"Eoland. Eoland Thawne."

"Yeah, so..." Siv grit their teeth. "Whatever you used to find this place was faulty. Your doppelganger isn't here. I'm pretty sure he's temporarily dead, again." Siv reached in her back pocket, pulling out a business card. "Here."

"This is a card for a strip club." Eoland glared down at the small yellow card in her hand, like it would give her horrible diseases just by her looking at it.

"Shit, sorry, that's mine, from my old job." Siv again reached in their back pocket. "Here's the right one."

"Sivonne Alessandra Thawne, Dark Streak." Eoland read. "Thief, assassin, and vigilante."

"Yeah. Youre looking for my dad, who I hate and I want dead. So unless you plan on giving me money or free food, get out. I don't appreciate unwanted guests." Siv sneered. "Especially ones like you."

"Who are you to order me around?" Eoland stood up, towering over Siv's short stature. "You insolent child. I've met hundreds like you, young speedsters who are too sure of themselves, and killed them all."

Siv blinked, unimpressed. "Clearly, you've never had to fight me."

"And what's so special about you, Sivonne Alessandra Thawne?"

"Are you saying my full name to intimidate me? Because it's not working." Siv wasn't fazed by Eoland's threats. "I've been through horrors the likes of which you could never understand. You don't scare me, dipshit." Siv checked their nails. "And, to answer your question, I have some tricks up my sleeve. Not to spoil the surprise, if you have the audacity to actually try to take me down."

"Is that a threat?"

"Maybe." Siv shrugged.

"Fine. Maybe you'll learn your lesson not to test me."

Siv took a deep breath, summoning up all their repressed rage. "I hope this works."

Eoland stared at Siv, tapping her foot. "How disappointing. You're just like the others. All bark, no bite. You're pathetic, and weak. I'm surprised my doppelganger didn't kill you years ago."

Siv froze. "What did you say? Did you just say I was 'weak'?"

"Clearly, you lack the power to ever defeat someone like me." Eoland scoffed. "And here I thought that maybe, I'd actually have fun destroying you. Too bad."

"Oh, hell no." Siv bared their teeth, her voice beginning to echo, as if they were multiple people talking all at once. "No one calls me weak. Especially not some little bitch who comes into my house just to insult me to my face."

Eoland watched as Siv levitated off the ground, her body beginning to glow with a too-bright aura, while simultaneously being obscured by shadow. Their hair appeared longer, though it might have just been the effect of it floating above their head as if they were underwater. Like Eoland's own, Siv's fingernails and canines were both longer and sharper, and when they opened their eyes, they were black, with only a thin red slit in the center.

If Eoland had been any other person, she probably would be freaking out right at this moment. Unfortunately for Siv, she was not.

"You're supposed to be scared." Siv looked disappointed. "So you're telling me that I just blew a hole in my ceiling for nothing? Now I have to move. This is awkward."

"On the contrary." Eoland grinned. "You have something to offer, I have something to offer. How would you like help with your... patricide problems?"

"I mean, as long as you don't want me to punt a baby across a field like a football, I'm down." Siv's otherworldly appearance faded. "I can see this as the beginning of a great partnership.

#ask revan #oc shit #vexic :D #revan writes

[cookinguptales]

It's been bugging me for a while and I love your meta and all your thoughts, so I wanted to get your opinion on this.

Why do you think Nandor is so repressed? Or so in denial about Guillermo? I understand Guillermo and his motivations (well not so much this season but I can still make sense of them) but why is Nandor this way? I want to study him like a bug and go inside his brain

I, too, feel the feminine urge to put Nandor in a jar and shake him. I've had a couple days to think about this now, so here are my thoughts. There... are a lot of them, fair warning.

At first, I thought this was a loss response. He lost all 37 of his wives and their children in one fell swoop, and that seems to be something that has affected him strongly. And, y'know, I still think that's part of it. I think that after losing everything he had, the idea of trying again and making new relationships scares him. Having someone to love is having someone to lose, and Nandor is so afraid of loss.

But then, y'know, I thought about the actual relationships he had with his wives, and I think a lot of what affects him now affected him then, too. It's a little hard to tell because most of the information we have from him is several centuries removed from the actual events, but it does seem like he probably never loved any of them with his whole soul. He said he didn't love all of them, and that's by his own admission. He didn't fight to keep any of them when they all left, and none tried to stay with him despite his vampirism. And he was pretty clearly leaving them alone for long periods while he went on his campaigns.

I think it's kind of telling that of all the creatures for his ghost to remember and miss, it wasn't any of his wives, it wasn't any of his men. It was... a horse. So I think we can probably say that he had a hard time creating serious human relationships even when he was alive.

I think... I've talked about this before and I'll probably talk about it again, but I do think that Nandor's got an almost pathological sense of dissatisfaction. He's never actually satisfied with anything in his life and he's always chasing after the next big thing. But I think that's because he's afraid of the intimacy that comes from working at a relationship. It's easier to chase the idea of a relationship than build one with the people who are already close to you.

If you think about it, all of Nandor's serious love interests have never really demanded vulnerability from him. Even Gail, his longest-term relationship to date, was a fairly surface-level love story. She didn't expect much from him; he was just a guy for her to have some fun with every few years. The things they knew about each other were also very surface level. Like in the grand scheme of things, who cares if she likes yogurt and Bob Seger if you can't figure out her actual basic character motivations? It's important to remember little details about your SO, but Nandor was missing the forest for the trees.

So when he was alive and now that he's dead, we still have the same Nandor. A man who was constantly conquering new lands instead of cultivating the country he already had. (And immediately letting it fall to shit without even noticing once he was turned.) A man who had 37 wives, but not one who would stay with him once things got hairy. A man who was very happy to pursue new love interests, but very hesitant about actually giving them any real part of himself.

Nandor is a man who is all about acquisition, but he doesn't know what to do with things once he's got them. He loves the thrill of the chase, but the aching and terrifying vulnerability that comes after that is anathema to him. He's simply not willing to put in the work. He likes the fun part, the conquering, the fighting, the hunt. But actually opening up and cultivating a real relationship? Letting them see the awkward, weak parts of him? Trusting them to love him anyway?

He hates that.

I'm thinking back to season 1, y'know? When Guillermo got hurt? He told him that he was his friend, but then immediately felt too vulnerable and walked it back. That's Nandor. Letting people see the soft, unexplored emotions inside of him is too much for him. It makes him feel fundamentally unsafe the way a battlefield never has. Even he doesn't like examining those emotions too closely.

(And let's be real... a horse isn't going to ask you about your feelings.)

So then we have Guillermo. Guillermo, whom he cannot hypnotize into forgetting his awkward, embarrassing moments. Guillermo, who has slowly learned him over the years, both inside and out. Guillermo, who has seen him at his worst and still loves him. Guillermo, who knows him.

Nandor has a kind of intimacy with Guillermo that I'm not sure he's ever had with any other living soul, and I think that scares him. I think it thrills him, yes! I think that's sort of what was actually happening in that familiar fights episode. He senses this strange bond with Guillermo and wants to strengthen it and test it and wallow around in it. He can tell on a fundamental level that there is something important and good and fun there.

But he also refuses to examine it. He refuses to name it. He refuses to let Guillermo that last little step into his heart. To put it into the show's metaphorical terms, Guillermo has managed to break into Nandor's secret basement treasure room despite his best efforts, but Nandor still batted Guillermo's hands away when he tried to examine the treasure.

He still can't even force himself to admit that he likes those rainy Sunday movie nights with Guillermo or that Guillermo is his best friend. (Though Guillermo now seems to understand the things that Nandor cannot say, in these situations.) I think admitting to himself that he's in love with him is just far too much for him. I think admitting that he loves, truly loves, Guillermo would be admitting that he's never felt anything like this before. I think it would be admitting that he's never let anyone in this deep.

And most of all, I think that would be giving Guillermo the power to hurt him like no one has ever managed to do. Not his 37 wives, not his dead children, not Gail. No one. Because if he lets Guillermo see all the most intimate parts of him and Guillermo doesn't like what he sees... that would break him, I think. If Nandor finally allowed himself to really try with a relationship and still got rejected... well, let's just say that it would hurt a lot worse than Gail's rejection of the shallow version of himself that he allowed her to see.

I think that the real root of Nandor's issues is a fear of vulnerability, loss of control, and rejection. He won't let himself fully feel his feelings because he can't control where they'll go. We're talking about a literal former warlord over here. He likes to control things and he likes to feel powerful. The fact that he can't control his own emotions is troubling to him, and the fact that he can't control his relationships with others is even more so.

So he at least controls what he gives them of himself. What he allows himself to internally acknowledge. He still keeps some parts of him segmented off and secreted away. Because it's a way to protect himself and protect that sense of control. If he never allows himself to become fully vulnerable with a person, he can retain control. If he never allows anyone to fully know him, then they cannot reject the most fundamental parts of him that he never allowed them to see.

It is, I'm afraid, one of those mortifying ordeal of being known things.

We're starting to see him loosening up, though. He was willing to give up control of the Council. Control of the household. Control of his life to Guillermo. He's willing to be something other than the leader at all times. And he's starting to let go of those emotions he's kept on such a tight tether for all these years.

I keep coming back to s3, y'know? When he said, "I have no one to share my dreams or my fears with." That's what Nandor really wants here. He wants someone he can finally free himself around. He doesn't want someone that's willing to let him confide in them -- he wants someone that he can bear to confide in. He wants someone who he can trust with those parts of him like he's never trusted anyone before. He wants someone who he can tell his most secret desires to without fear of judgment or reprisal. He wants someone who he can talk to about being afraid without feeling like he's lost a fundamental part of himself when doing so.

And then in 4.06 that's exactly what we saw. We see Nandor truly opening up, truly allowing himself to be vulnerable with someone on his wedding night. But not his wife. It was Guillermo, when Nandor finally allowed himself to give Guillermo something real and true and scared. To admit how he was really feeling right in that moment. The vulnerability we saw in his eyes for just a moment was heartbreaking.

He's still completely repressed and completely in denial. The fact that he went through with the marriage in the first place is evidence of that. He still ended up choosing yet another shallow, empty relationship that would place no real demands on him. But I don't think he's going to be able to ignore what he really wants for much longer. I think realizing what a massive cock-up this wedding was is the beginning of the end for him.

I think Nandor's going to hit a breaking point soon, and it may very well come when he realizes (or at least believes) that Guillermo no longer wants him. He's finally found that person that he's willing and able to give everything to... and that person might just reject it.

For now, anyway.

Ah... love... I feel you, Nandor, it sucks...

#replies #wwdits #wwdits meta #nandermo #wwdits s4 spoilers

[frost-faerie]

☆ Cotton-headed ☆

Fluffy sickfic! phoenix gets a cold and comes to work anyway, his supposed rival isn't thrilled when he realises (concerned edgey ^_^) but they get it alllll sorted! can't spell teasing without tea <3 we love these dorks

Wooo!! Wrightworth/narumitsu drabble for the people! I'm not very good at writing, so sorry if it's not up to expectation >_&lt; please enjoy it! where this fic takes place on the timeline is completely up to interpretation, i didn't really have it in mind ^^;

"You look worse than usual," Edgeworth said, barely trying to conceal the insult he had just hurled. It wasn't like Phoenix wanted to be here today; he'd done pretty much everything to put off going to the prosecutors office, but in the end, it hadn't done him any favors.

Repressing a sniffle, knowing that Edgeworth would pick up on it in a way that only a legendary prosecutor could. As much as Wright felt... sickly, he couldn't stay home. Work needed to be done, and some cold wasn't going to stop him.

Realizing that he hadn't responded to Edgeworth's quip, Phoenix gave a stilted smile. "You sure know how to make a guy feel special," Phoenix said, hoping that the sarcasm laced through his tone didn't make him slip up and cough.

"...Hm," Edgeworth hummed noncommittally. "Have you been sleeping well, Wright?"

If it was anyone else in front of him, Phoenix would've thought that there was a hint of concern in their voice. Hell, for a second, he even thought that Edgeworth was concerned for his well-being.

More than is probably healthy, he couldn't help but think. He'd spent a lot of his time sleeping, as of late- just half an hour ago, he'd caught himself before he'd dozed off in his office!

Despite this, his cases seemed to be going well; no investigations, and Maya was busy busy busy with all the business she had to attend to, and-

"Considering your lack of response and your dazed eyes, you have not been resting nearly enough," a voice boomed with an air of authority and finality. Oh, right, Phoenix thought dazedly. Miles was talking to me.

"I've been sleeping," Phoenix sighed, hands raised in surrender. Sneezing into a tissue, just so Edgeworth wouldn't chide him for messying a perfectly good suit. Every hour spent not asleep was dedicated to work, and he knows that Mia had once said something to him about this being a terrible habit, but that didn't stop Phoenix from falling asleep the second his stuffy, cotton-filled brain hit a comfortable pillow.

Edgeworth looked at him, seeming skeptical and unconvinced. Whether that was because of Phoenix's clear poorly state or just because that was what his face always looked like, Phoenix wasn't really sure. "You've been sleeping," Edgeworth said, the skepticism seeping through every word.

"Mhm," Phoenix said. The urge to rub sleepiness out of his eyes was strong, but the evidence that would come of it was stronger- perhaps even decisive. If Edgeworth hadn't already figured it out, that was.

With a slight shake of the head, Edgeworth let a small smile slip onto his face; not a usual sight, and definitely not something Phoenix expected to see at work of all places. "Objection," he said, sounding much more fond than he did in the courtroom. "I said you hadn't been resting enough. Sleep is technically a form of rest, but it is not a stand-in for being well-rested."

Phoenix looked up at Edgeworth with a scowl. (Since when had he been sitting down? He distinctly remembers standing not too long ago.) "My sincerest apologies, master of self-care," Phoenix said, knowing very well that the sarcasm got to Edgeworth even though his stuffy nose. (Well, his stuffy everything.)

After finally relenting to the fact that yes, he was sick, Edgeworth was on the move; Phoenix distantly heard a kettle boiling, as well as a few calls that he wouldn't be able to take his meetings today. All the while, Phoenix repressed the urge to shut his eyes once again. There was some kind of low-note classical music playing from a dingy radio that seemed out of place in the office, and it was strangely soothing.

Before Wright could fall back asleep, however, there was something gently pressed into his hands. He startled with the heat of it, and then his face got equally warm once he sensed Miles looming over him.

"Peppermint tea," he said, as an explanation to what was in the glass. "Normally, I'd house the drink in a proper teacup, but I'm not sure you'd be capable of holding it in this state. It... it is a heavy kind of porcelain."

"You mean a fancy rich kind?" Phoenix said, a small smile gracing his face. As much as it hurt to talk, he couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease Edgeworth- especially if it was about his large about of disposable income.

It seemed to have a calming effect, much like the aroma of the tea and the slow classical music, as Miles smiled in a dorkish manner. "Just drink the tea, Wright," he huffed fondly.

"But I don't even like tea," Phoenix said, taking a sip regardless. It was quite nice- Miles had clearly taken the courtesy of adding extra sugar, knowing full well of Phoenix's sweet tooth- but he wasn't going to admit that.

Miles merely shook his head, fondness in every movement. "Of course, of course. How dare I take care of you?"

Phoenix felt his face go a little red, all whilst Miles went back to his desk to begin working. He traced the rim of the teacup with his finger, thinking the same thing. How dare you take care of me?

Now the hole he's been going down since he was nine had burrowed deeper.

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright #narumitsu #wrightworth #fanfiction #fanfic #drabble #sickfic

[cosmicjoke]

okay cosmic. i am back again for another analysis from you. we have talked a bit about megumi fushiguro but not in depth and as you know he’s my favorite jjk character. so i was just wondering your in depth thoughts/analysis on him. lots of people call him “boring” and “useless” which i disagree and i always love reading what you have to say about characters even if it isn’t the same as me(which it almost always is tbf). anyway it’s ok if you don’t have anything to say about him just would love to hear your thoughts if you do 🩵

It's funny, because Megumi was initially my favorite character on JJK too, before it became Gojo, and Megumi still remains my second favorite, so we have essentially the same characters in our top two spots, haha.

Overall, I never enjoyed JJK the same way I do say Attack on Titan, so I've never put as much thought into it. I only read it once through, and I admit that the fatigue of getting through so many battles, with so many pages of exposition explaining how some characters cursed technique works, made me pay less attention, so I've forgotten a LOT of the details of the story, including character names, etc.... I would have to re-read it I think to really develop a better understanding of it and its characters. So I'm afraid I won't be able to offer a great deal of insight or really thoughtful analysis the way I try to with AoT and its characters. But I'll try my best here.

I have no idea why anyone would call Megumi useless or boring. Maybe because Sukana was able to bring out the full potential of the Ten Shadows technique, and people think by comparison, Megumi is a failure. But it's an absurd comparison to begin with. Sukana is literally ancient and has been around forever, while Megumi is, what, 15 or 16 years old? He's just a kid who hasn't had any kind of chance yet to develop or reach his full potential. And even still, calling him useless is a purposefully false accusation. He's been integral in numerous battles and conflicts in JJK, essential in his friends ability to walk away with their lives.

As for calling him boring, again, I don't know why anyone would say that about him. Maybe because he generally tends not to show a great deal of emotion? But then, you and I both know how stupid it is to assume a character doesn't feel anything just because they don't engage in dramatic displays of emotion. I think it's obvious that Megumi is dealing with a lot of repressed trauma, both from the abandonment by his father, and the situation with his sister. That, on top of the horrors he and the other jujutsu students have to face daily, and I think it's just made him a very guarded person. But the devotion he feels toward his sister betrays what a caring person he really is. He never abandoned her, even when she fell into a coma. He would always make time to visit her, and did everything in his power to protect her. So while Megumi affects an attitude of detachment, I think it's pretty obvious how much he actually cares about everyone around him. Like when he first meets Itadori, he acts like he can't stand him and doesn't care what happens to him, but it's Megumi who first requests Gojo's help with Yuuji, and we see over and over again how much he actually cares for him, and all his friends, and how deeply it impacts him whenever any of them gets hurt or dies.

I actually think Megumi is probably going to be essential in some way to defeating Sukana. I haven't been reading these last, several chapters, but I've been keeping up with spoilers, and that's just the sense I'm getting. There was so much build up to Megumi's potential, with Gojo's lessons with him, with Gojo telling him he had the potential to surpass him, Sukana's taunting and then stealing his body and technique, etc... So unless Gege drops the ball on his own foreshadowing again (which is always possible, considering the shitshow that his writing has been lately), I think Megumi is likely to become the actual hero of this story. I think he's been being set up to take on that role since basically the beginning. The character that, on the surface, seems the least invested, or declaring his own detachment from people, being the one to actually save the day, would be a classic hero trope. Our main players right now in Itadori and Yuta falling to Sukana, and needing Megumi to overcome him in order to save their lives, would make a lot of sense to me. Like defeating Sukana from within, after being underestimated and after Sukana's attempts to destroy Megumi too.

Of course, I could be totally off base, and whatever happens with Megumi could just be another, underwhelming bleh moment, kind of like what just happened with Kenjaku and his story and connection to various characters going absolutely nowhere, lol. So who knows. I don't really trust Gege as a writer at this point. But maybe he'll actually manage to pull off something worthy of Megumi's character. He's due for something like that, considering the way he butchered Gojo's ending.

#jjk #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen

[black-bentley]

TC tag game

Thanks for the tags, @spudodell and @renaultphile, sorry it's taken me so long to actually get to this!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Laurie to Andrew, at their first meeting:

"... I read somewhere once, Tchaikovsky was queer."

It just feels a bit... 0-100 at that point for someone as repressed as Laurie is.

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they did, and it was very much a peck rather than anything more. And I think Ralph's main motivation for it was to try and shock Laurie into backing off to save him being (as he sees it) corrupted by their continued association.

It makes sense of both their reactions, for me - I can see Ralph semi-angrily planting one on him more or less out of nowhere and then, when Laurie is (understandably) startled, going, "Now you see what I mean..." and then just steamrolling over Laurie's attempt to talk about it.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I can see him having got one or two early in his career when he wanted to fit in. But somewhere easily covered (and possibly where he can't easily see them himself?), as I think they'd offend his desire for order and tidiness otherwise.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I've only got the '53 edition to hand at the moment, but I think the hand on the knee in the car was cut for the '59... I like that little moment, it's just very clear what's going on there in comparison to a lot of their other interactions around that time.

I do also love the "Don't insult my intelligence" exchange that @spudodell picked out, I love Laurie - who's inclined to take himself a bit seriously - already being comfortable enough with Ralph to tease him like he does <3

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Ralph. He'd be reblogging posts about polar exploration left, right and centre. And he'd be incredibly into The Terror but would never admit it.

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

I'm definitely the "is it a queer book?" guy.

7. Post a TC meme.

Not actually a meme, but it always makes me think of TC...

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Possibly controversial - Alec. He doesn't seem to care about Sandy's feelings or respect him all that much, and strikes me as someone who likes being in a relationship so they've got company when they want it, but isn't all that interested in actually making a commitment himself.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I'd tell him not to dismiss Reg as abruptly as he does. That friendship could definitely have continued, because Reg clearly knew Laurie was queer and was determined to (albeit clumsily) make the point that he didn't view him differently because of it.

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

What was in Ralph's letter to Laurie, the one that was returned after Dunkirk?

I'm pretty sure everyone has already been tagged but if anyone hasn't, and wants to join in, then please do!

#the charioteer #tag game

[landslided]

sorry same anon again just returning to briefly add that i think season 1 of cobra kai made me so insane and now i'm trapped in this loop because i see that i could be so good like it could be SO good and then i think okay well there's always samtory future cobrakai arc where sam has dropped out of college and worked dead ends jobs for years and has largely pushed her parents away out of self loathing and like tory meanwhile has found like incredible success and similarly in a situation where tory has to help sam but it compels me SO much in how it would be different than daniel and johnny where tory WOULD be SINCERE in trying to make amends etc and sam would be the more instigator/"daniel" role despite occupying the "johnny" position if that makes sense. anyway that is to say i think top two characters who narratively should have sex that aren't daniel and johnny in my opinion. also that the second most INSANE making thing the show has done that was SO good was tory winning because silver paid off the refs INSANE COMPELLING DEFINING moment of all time for samtory season 5 really dropped the ball on the execution of but INSANE set up INSANE choice for their dynamic SO rich. anyway. sorry my only friend i've managed to get into cobra kai is too busy writing deranged piano teacher aus to/with me so i have no outlet for samtory future cobra kai gay sex moment. hey does anyone else think women should be divorced bums in their forties who fuck raw. anyone else. anyo --

(hope it's okay i replied to your anon like this, i wanted to put all your thoughts on the same ask because i know tumblr just hates us and doesn't let us talk the way we want to in asks)

okay wait okay there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE just so much and i feel like it's christmas already

first thing first don't ever feel the need to apologize for sending me anons like this quite literally the best thing i've ever received in many years of being on this hellsite i feel a little bit like chewing glass with how excited i am.

i totally get what you mean about season 1 because it truly feels like they trap you inside this complicated story of violence, vengeance and expectations and then they just never truly pick it up again and you are left with the bits and pieces of this show that not only has so much wasted potential but that has now infected you and you get visions like the fucking youtube red premium cursed cassandra of what it could have been if they'd just committed to what they were selling.

but the. yes. yes, we could have future samtory, it's the thing holding our heads above the water because GOD anon, i feel like you've managed to read my unfinished stories and my drafts on here because i wrote at least ten posts about how i think sam has the same journey as johnny (rich kid who ruins herself through self-hatred and repression and just this insatiable need of not being her father, of not being larusso 2.0 even though she is very much daniel to the shape of her smile and the marrow of her bones), sam who runs away, sam who has to do so to try and find herself except she can't because she has gotten absolutely no tools to do so, she's shaped herself into this perfect glass ornament for her father to put on display because she LOVES him and he loves her too but nothing she has is her own and she cannot find a single thing in herself that doesn't feel like a lie or a performance once again.

and tory is not like this. tory is very much whole and unwaveringly herself even when it gets her in trouble. tory doesn't have to answer for any expectations, tory just has to survive and rise to the occasion in a way sam never had to. tory has this weight on her shoulders that she cannot shake off but in many ways, through love mostly, she picked that weight up and placed it there herself even if it wasn't fair and even if she didn't have much choice, but she makes conscious decisions that pretty much always put herself at risk but she does what she feels is right and good for herself and for the people she loves in the moment, meanwhile sam is carrying around this burden that was attached to her back long before she first even opened her eyes.

there is something to say about the tragedy of daniel, absolutetly unable to have friends, unable to form meaningful relationships with people he doesn't have a past with (louie is his cousin, anoush is his employee, johnny, chozen and mike are part of his past) and when he does, it's robby he chooses because he doesn't look for an equal or a friend, he looks for a way to reproduce his relationship with mr miyagi but in the opposite because that's when he felt at his safest, that's his ONLY relationship that has brought him nothing but love and understanding and when you add all that (which, like you, i do. i do see all of the show's forgetful little things as proof of daniel's forced repression after tkk3 i literally wrote a whole section about his loneliness in one of my fics but ANYWAY) when you do add all that and translate it to sam who has no friends. it's not even that she doesn't have girl friends, she doesn't and its crazy and it says SO much about her, but she doesn't have any friends who aren't something else at first. miguel is her ex, so is robby, demetri was her sort of student for a while and then a sort of colleague to which she applies a relationship that is more reminiscent of boss/employee than actual friends and she!!! doesn't!!! have friends!!! they took away aisha but even before that sam had almost purposefully fucked up her relationship with aisha to enter a circle of popular kids who were NOT her friends and were not close to her and did not care about her. sam keeps herself locked away from a lot of her peers and that is so very clearly in my head an imitation of what her father does that it becomes unconsciously her own behavior.

and worse than all that, she's fucked up! like genuinely fucked up! she keeps ruining her relationships and she doesn't know what she wants and she is angry and scared and mean when she wants to be and yet, there is such a true real kindness to her, a goodness that comes from her very core that she cannot keep from affecting all her decisions.

sam would grow up estranged from her family, unable to express these monstrous feelings she's kept locked away for song long and she would find tory again and feel this same pull. this same moment of oh, maybe you do get me, maybe you do understand what and who i am and that is totally unbearable because being known is being in danger and i don't know myself how dare you know me more than i do. and tory would be genuine in wanting to help sam, because tory, a kid who did so much to survive and who has now found success and comfort would want to help someone she feels like she might have impacted in her life, someone who deserves the same chance she got (and maybe it's to alleviate some of her guilt too but it's still true and it's still done with this undercurrent of honesty that taints everything tory touches)

i also totally agree that making silver pay for tory's win was a wonderful plot decision that they totally fucked up later on but just, ugh the exquisite bittersweet victory, the defeat in sam's eyes because the win should have been hers, she's the best and she's played every single card in the game and tory knows this, knows that she's undeserving and she has NEVER been undeserving in her life and yet here she is, silver has made a liar out of her and has changed a fundamental part of who she is forever.

older samtory who are pathetic losers in the matters of love and keep pulling the same old tricks with each other that always ends up on the mat, licking old wounds before pouring salt directly onto them.

truly. truly ship of all time. samtory has the potential of a thousand suns.

(i ALSO am a big sam shaves her head believer god im UGH yes yes yes yes)

im sorry i ended up talking so much, but like you i feel a lot of emotions for these girls.

ALSO!!!!!!!! YOUR FRIEND'S DERANGED PIANO TEACHER AU????? I HAVE READ THIS FIC AT LEAST FIVE TIMES SINCE IT WAS POSTED LAST MONTH AND I EVEN COMMENTED ON IT THAT IT HAD MADE ME CRAZY LIKE GENUINELY BITING AT MY FINGERNAILS UNHINGED!!!!!!!!

if you ever feel comfortable being off anon, hit me up i think im in love with your brain and would love to discuss samtory with you

#*asks #literally god. im gonna think of this the whole weekend. #samtory

[chirpsythismorning]

What do you think about the possibility of El and Will not being exactly twins but half siblings? Maybe Lonnie was in the MK Ultra project for money and had an affair with Terry Ivis, so El was born. His sperm was affected, and Lonnie had another child with Joyce, who was born with repressed/hidden powers (I'm considering Jonathan was already born when Lonnie's balls were chernobyl'd). Then Lonnie took Will to the Lab a feel times for test, but they concluded he was born powerless, because he appeared to be a normal kid.

Upon coming across twelvegate, I did initially go down this rabbit hole! I made a shit-post about the possibility of Lonnie being both Will and El's dad, but more recently I've expanded on that evidence in an ask, discussing why I basically don't think that is the case anymore.

The main thing that makes me so confident about this, is that I'm certain Terry isn't El's 'mama'. Like pretty much 100% certain.

There are a few posts where I discuss this (here, here, here) so definitely check those out if you want a deep dive to better understand where I'm coming from with that claim.

To be fair, I did not subscribe to this up until recently. It was as if my brain blocked me from even merely considering the possibility that Terry isn’t El's mom because of how tragic her whole situation was. And so it felt almost insensitive to even speculate, I guess?

But as of now, after actually going back and watching her scenes for myself, as well as flashbacks featuring her that resurface in future seasons, I think that if anything Lonnie is a roadblock to the truth, in the same sense that Terry is. Because the evidence that Terry isn't El's mom is too alarming to ignore. Like, once you see it, it becomes very obvious they've always been trying to hint this to us, as subtly as possible, and they did it successfully bc it went over everyone's heads.

And so since Terry isn't El's mom, and there are certain details tying Terry to having some sort of connection to Brenner (ie Papa/Mama, Bonsai trees, Hopper's line about Terry's 'relationship' with Brenner), then it's very likely that, in the original timeline/universe or whatever we want to call it, Terry could have worked closely with the lab in some capacity, though ended up supporting Joyce’s claims over allegations about the lab and experimentation, ie. the article at the end of s1 including Joyce/Terry's testimonies. And so she was basically a confidant to them who went against the lab and was lobotomized for it and placed in a scenario that blocked out the truth very conveniently for them, while also essentially punishing her.

And when it comes to Lonnie... That is where it gets very complicated. Because I think it's likely that in the OG timeline, Lonnie was not the greatest guy. I think there was a lot of scary subtext surrounding him harming Will in s1 and it's possible that this dude has been given the role of their father in this timeline, which in the original timeline he is not. He's essentially Stranger Things' very own Biff.

This does make me very intrigued about what is going to be revealed in 'The First Shadow' play coming soon. We're said to get the backstory for not only Joyce and Hopper but also Lonnie and Bob (and Henry) apparently, so that is making for some interesting potential Back to the Future parallels from Marty’s parents’ 1955 timeline vs Willel’s parents’ 1959 timeline. Also the synopsis being young Joyce Maldonado and Jim Hopper dealing with the shadows of the past...

Arguably, it is crunch time. We're approaching the final season and this is a revelation that a lot of the audience are probably not going to be ready for, despite a lot of the hints in the details. I presume they wont have much time in s5 to rehash the mysteries of the past, beyond glossing it over, and so this was honestly a perfect way for them to go back and give context for what is to come in a really unique way that is canon, but without having to cram too much into s5 like they had to for s4.

I do think that Lonnie is very likely to return in s5. Though he referred to Hawkins at its most tame as a hell hole, so idk if he would be running back there during an apocalypse, seeing as everyone else seems to be trying to get out ASAP. It is possible though, and yet I just really don't think his arc is about this series long secret that he is both El and Will's father. If anything I think the revelation is much darker in relation to what truly happened to him and El, possibly in relation to the lab, as he could indeed have been an MKUltra volunteer like you said. It could also help to go read up on some of the cases/allegations put against MKUltra back in the day bc, though it is quite disturbing in parts, it could very well hold the answer to at least some secrets seeing as this is partially based on a real life program that did exist back in the day.

If Lonnie was their dad, I think he would have been a lot more prioritized in the overall story over the seasons, and yet they kind of introduced him in s1 with only a couple references to him in passing since then. If anything it's giving we do not want to give this character too much acknowledgement in the story.

I think a return for him would perhaps look like the storys way of revealing to us that he is not actually their father. Either via flashbacks to the og timeline or perhaps vecna visions at a point when we’re still assuming this is Will’s dad. I do think he very likely is connected to the darker secrets behind what really happened though, related to Will and El's original disappearances, leading up to them in the lab presumably.

I won't claim to understand the memory/time-loop nonsense, because I think that it could also have a lot to do with Will's powers related to time and therefore probability perhaps, which ties really well into the whole X-Men 134 reference. And yet, obviously, I feel like it's too much to try to be certain about which angle go at it, despite having a lot of the pieces to perhaps figure it out? Bc we can guess all day what Will's powers will look like, but we still don't really know for certain? And so going too far beyond that feels like too much guessing to me.

I will say that what makes me even more confident about this theory, even more than the Terry evidence, is just the heaps of evidence connecting Will and El from the very beginning, and how that also connects to Joyce and Hopper more often than not.

If you're open to looking at evidence related to the whole Joyce + Hopper = Willel twins + Jon ? gate (?), or even just how byler also fits into this, bc tbh a lot of the evidence connects, these are a few posts below that might peak your interest. And this isn’t even all of it.

This is the MAIN one so if you read any of them, read this (first and foremost)

Twelvegate Evidence going back to s1 and oh so many unanswered questions

Twelvegate Evidence going back to s1 + Willel Twins

Deer Imagery following The Hoppers/Byers Family

David Harbour cryptically changing his IG pfp to twins, multiple times before S4 dropped:

The fact that Star Wars' big plot twist was that Luke/Leia were twins... That the Duffers are twins... That Noah Schnapp is a twin... 'IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT (MIKE), THEY'RE IDENTICAL'...

El: Me? I'm twice as happy now *cut camera to estranged twin Will opening van door for him and El*

The Wright Bros

Parallels between El being confronted, with Will standing by frozen

"She missed her dad. We all do."

El and Will reuniting at Nina and the remaining timestamp is 12:00

"Mom!"

I will alway say that I am subject to be wrong. The only thing I'm very confident about now is that Terry isn't El's mom, and it just so happens that everything else sort of falls into place after that.

#byler #stranger things #twelvegate #willel twins #willel wondertwins #willel literal twins #joyce + hopper = willel twins + job #say it with me #lonnie is the biff of stranger things #hopper is the george mcfly #hopper starting the series on his couch with a focus on his pony tail bracelet and his wrist watch was a nod to will and el #along with the references to keys consistently connecting hopper and joyce being willel #its all connected #also if will is jesus #hopper is god? #i mean he is very much giving resurrection arc a lot... #also dont even get me started about how a lot of the side characters give off npc energy #constantly interrupting the characters before they're close to figuring shit out #it's weird #I do think that it's very likely Henry knows something about what the lab did not only to him but will and el #and perhaps he is not totally wrong for wanting justice bc the world is a disgusting place and he's giving will and el an out to join him #away from this horrible world #it really depends on how far they want to go and how dark #i do think that it could get very very dark #but the good news is that the really painful tragic events that are going to be unveiled #are going to make the happy ending that much more gratifying #like imagine having a whole fluff fic ending with a happy ending #like cool but honestly where is the build up and earning of that happy ending #you cant know joy unless you've known sorrow #shits gonna get real

[rose-riot-johnson]

Alongside Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Any Version)), Kurama (Human name Shuichi Minamin) (Yu Hakusho) and Rumi Usagiyama (aka, Mirko) for the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th place (in a 4 way) tie according to the poll I originally posted:

My Hero Academia's very own, Himiko Toga

I have my reasons why I wanted to write about Toga😃👍Aside from Dabi, she is 1 of my favorite members of The League of Villains in My Hero Academia😁👍Also she's actually 1 of the 1st villains (if the exactly the 1st villain) I had actually noticed from watching My Hero Academia😃I do like a lot of the characters from My Hero Academia and that includes Toga😁I'm just a fan of hers😁👍She's just 1 of those villains I've been wanting to write about for years, since becoming fan of My Hero Academia and writing fanfics of my very own😃👍And recently I decided that Megumi (Jujutsu Kaisen) and Himiko Toga (My Hero Academia) were the first two characters I had in mind putting in the poll I originally posted a while ago, to be honest🤷‍♀️😃👍I just hope you enjoy this fanfic with Toga in it my Tumblr Peeps 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉

There's No Turning Back Now ((Adult) Himiko Toga x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Angst, Drama, and Possible Brief Comfort (Warning ⚠️: Mentioning Of Blood, Language, Depending On The Reader's Imagination (In The End Of This Fanfic))

Your life wasn't the greatest. Infact your life has been pretty, (usually) unlucky. You have dealt with being bullied in school and whenever you finally end up being in with a group of friends, most of the time there was drama (in the cafeteria during breakfast or lunch), when you were in middle school. You just either never truly fit in or you never truly belonged or you were never truly accepted for who you fully are (or even majority of things about you). What makes it worse was things just are not going well for you and usually your good days were that no one bullied nor were mean to you nor anything like these things. And the worst part of all, everyone you know and/or knew either has found a reason to judge you for and/or made you feel misunderstood atleast twice (if not just once) in your life.

As you were considering giving up on yourself, you met up with this happy, ash-blonde hair (with two buns, with strands poking of of both), yellow eyed, girl. She introduced herself cheerfully, "Hi. I'm Himiko Toga. I'm a member of the League of Villains. What's your name?", while having both of her hands behind her back. You were pretty happy about meeting her, as she's the first person you have trusted in a long time and that was right away. You then answered, "Well, Toga. My name is (Any Gender Reader Name). It's very nice to meet you!", as you smiled at her. "Well, it's very nice to meet you, too!", Toga replied happily.

You decided at that moment, you will try seeing her as much as possible. You automatically confessed, "I have a feeling seeing you and even to hang out with you will be something I will definitely look forward in my life, as you can see.", so you told her everything you can remember about your life, even about the fact that you feel that, Toga is going to be the first person who will truly accept you and who you will be able to be your true self with (even majority of the stuff about you). Toga then told you, "I guess we're more alike than we thought, though it wasn't because of my love for blood and my love for blood is why my parents want me to suppress what they don't approve of that I couldn't control for the shake of others, including my peers, so one day I couldn't repress my desire for blood any longer!", then she pretty much told you everything that happened afterwards, including about how she joined the League of Villains and the fact she feels they're all her family now, including Twice, Spinner, and Mr. Compress. So, both you and Toga decided to accept eachother, despite of eachother's flaws.

Months went by as you and Toga grew together to the point where both you and Toga felt destined to be together, as if you and Toga are soulmates. After you graduated from a school academy, you were attending, Toga even showed you off to the League of Villains, as they're all delighted to meet you. They even somehow instantly trust you to the point they treat you like their family somehow, right away.

However one night, you went home from hanging out with your girlfriend Toga, then as you went inside of the door, you noticed that your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) watched you coming inside your home (which is also your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian)'s home as well). "Where have you been going to after school, then after your academy, then now your job you're working at, (Any Gender Reader Name) for all these months?", your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) asked in slight anger. "I was hanging out with my new friend.", you answered. Your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) then asked, "Is your friend.... Or should I say significant other a rich and/or highly paid pro hero? Or is ((s)he/they) rich with lots of money in general?". You were slightly annoyed, however you kept your cool and told your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) the truth about your relationship with your girlfriend Toga and how you feel about her.

After you finish telling your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) about Toga, ((s)he/they) ended up being so pissed off to the point where (his/her/their) face turned the redest or the red, as ((s)he/they screamed, "How dare you date someone who's not rich! And worse! You're dating a villain and not a rich pro hero!! And why can't you date someone who can make everyone else happy, including your own family, especially...ME!". You then shouted, "Why does life have to what everyone else wants?! Why can't I choose what makes me happy for once?! Can't you see my girlfriend, Toga and the other members of the League of Villains not only make me happy, they also care about me and appreciate me!". "Your happiness doesn't matter, if I don't approve, young (lady/man/child/etc...)!! ", ((s)he/they) continued screaming, "That's right! It's my fucken way or the fucken highway, because I have NEWS for you, (Any Gender Reader Name)! If it's something I don't approve of, then you don't deserve to be happy! So, unless it's something I like and/or approve of, I don't care about your happiness!!!". So, you stormed off to your room.

Once you were in your room your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) last words ((s)he/they) shouted are, "And by the way, starting tomorrow, I will be following you everywhere you go, especially while you're at working at your job and at home, so I can makesure you don't in anyway contact your League of Villains friends anymore, including that moneyless, golddigger, Toga, from now on!", before slamming your bedroom, then locking it on you, where you can't leave your own to even go to the bathroom for anything. You're so upset to the point where you ended being so sick and tired of your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) controlling your whole life. Your love life included. You're so stressed to the point where you don't even know what to do.

That was until, Toga sent you a text message to ask if you got home safe. Once you saw the message you knew what you had to do. You knew you needed to warn her, so she can warn the rest of the members of the League of Villains, somehow. You texted her everything that was happening after you got home, including everything your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) said to you, and that ((s)he/they) even threatened to stalk you starting tomorrow, to the point where you couldn't contact any members of the League of Villains, including her, as ((s)he/they) locked your bedroom door, where you couldn't even go to the bathroom for anything.

Toga saw the message(s) you sent and she was shocked and pissed that you (Mom/Dad/Parent/ Legal Guardian) said and did all this to you, so she texted you that she will makesure to get you out of this house. She warned the rest of the members of the League of Villains about what you warned her about (as you expected). They're shocked and pissed off about what she told them about what you told her. Dabi was very tempted to burn your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) to ashes, while Shigaraki really wanted to decay your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) to dust, however all of them including Dabi and Shigaraki know it will make things worse for you, so every member of the League of Villains agreed on a quick plan none of them can refuse.

Later that night, Toga and the rest of the League of Villains, snuck into your home. Toga managed to use her knife to somehow, pick the lock part of the door you entered your home in. Spinner and Twice were so hungry where they ate strictly all of your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian)'s food up, which is surprisingly the foods they both enjoy eating. Dabi found your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian)'s safe and took (his/her/their) saved money after burning the lock of the safe in order to open the safe, as he felt it served (him/her/them) right. Mr. Compress snuck inside of your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian)'s room, so he can use his compress power to catch (him/her/them) without waking (him/her/them) up. Shigaraki helped Toga get into your room by decaying the knob and lock of your bedroom door that your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) locked on you in the first place.

As the door open, you hid under your blankets as you fear that your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) was coming in your room to find something to get on your case about, if not worse. As Toga, came in your room, she noticed you were hiding under your blankets in fear and yes she knows why you're hiding under the blankets, so she whispered, "Don't worry, (Any Gender Reader Name). It's me Toga. We're coming to get you out of this hellhole. The rest of the family is there too, including, Twice.". You then got out of your blankets, she reached her hands as she continued whispering, "Please come with us? This is our only chance and your only chance to makesure you have plenty of freedom, as well. I can promise you that, (Any Gender Reader Name).". You knew deep down in your mind, gut, heart, and soul that, Toga was speaking the truth out of her love for you, as you felt like all the members of the League of Villains (Spinner included) are more both true family and true friends put together than anyone you had ever known, including your (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) was, is, and ever will be. So, you decided to reach your hand to Toga back to hold her hand, as this became a sign that you made a decision to come with her with the rest of the League of Villains.

Months after you made your decision to leave the home you were living in to come with the League of Villains and to keep your relationship with Toga, you realized this was the best decision you had ever made and you have no plans on ever turning back. Not only you get to live with and hang out with the League of Villains, who you consider your true friends and real family, you also get to spend more time with your girlfriend, Toga. Eversince then, your life has become so much better than what it used to be, because the life your living now is so much better than you could ever dream of. As for what happened to you (Mom/Dad/Parent/Legal Guardian) after ((s)he/they) was captured, well... (It's up to the reader's imagination to what happened to him/her/them).

The End

I've wanting to working on writing and actually posting a fanfic about Toga for a while. While I did give other League of Villains members parts of it, I basically ended up deciding what they would do while in the home the reader was in (his/her/their) room, prior to having to Toga rescue the reader, because I wanted to come up with a plan on how to have Toga rescue you, while a couple thing I have written about before I wrote about the reader being rescued I figured I'd write about them for fun of it. I really ended up having tons of fun writing about this fanfic, so as for the ending part I just wanted the reader to imagine what would happen with the (Mom/Dad Parent/Legal Guardian) character just incase if the reader imagines a harsh punishment or maybe a second chance redemption thing or maybe anything the reader does put in his/her/their imagination(s)...🤔 Either way I do hope you like this fanfic and reading it helps with your day, just as much as writing this fanfic helps make my day and stuff😁💉🩸

#bnha himiko #bnha toga #toga himiko #himiko toga #himiko toga x reader #himko toga x yn #toga x y/n #himiko x reader #mha toga #mha himiko