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coping-via-clint-eastwood · 1 year

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Pull Me Apart - Gil-Grissom Self-therapy fic

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(A/N: Using the MGB because it's just that short part I want. Warning for blood and violence- look this is CSI.)

Yeah

And I feel the pain

Broken hearts they all feel the same, I don't

Wanna be

All alone (all alone)

Just pull me apart

Take me away

Tell me it's all gonna be okay

I wanna feel like I'm still alive

But I'm dead inside

And all I know, is I keep on waiting

My mind's running and my heart beat's racing

I'm not the same since your heart gave out on me

The cases were tough this week, and I was barely getting through them. Well, I probably would have been able to handle myself otherwise, but I was in a bad place personally as well, with my parents going through something and my father somehow deciding to involve me just to prove he was right even though my mother was in the right.

It all came to a head this afternoon when my father showed up at my place, and I woke up to the stupid doorbell. I knew it was him immediately because he always rang the doorbell aggressively; he always did everything aggressively. I was angry, and when I got out of bed, I slipped out of it too fast and slammed by bare feet onto the hard floor. I yelled, "FUCK!" in pain, but my father could not hear me, and I doubted he would care if he could; my parents never cared all the other times they knew I was hurt anyway.

Well, my injury certainly did not help in my dealing with my father. I finally lost the temper I had been restraining the whole week and snapped at him, slamming the door shut with the both of us outside and storming off, making my way down the road until I could flag down a taxi. I walked off most of the pain just fine, but my left ankle was acting up like a bitch. I tried to be as polite as possible and told the driver to bring me to Frank's Diner, figuring that since I could not sleep I might as well eat before shift. But because of how agitated I was, I could not even eat much because I could not digest properly. I ended up wasting a lot of my food. I headed to work with an aching digestive system, but I forced myself to work through it.

Everytime I had to squat to photograph and collect evidence, I interjected and grimaced. The first time it happened, Nick, my case partner, lowered his camera to look at me, concern on his face. "Dude, you okay?"

I waved him off. "I'm fine. It's not like it's the first time it's happened." That was the truth; I was short, and oftentimes when I got down from chairs that were too high for me, I forgot to get down slowly and ended up hurting.

However, that made him more concerned for some reason, with his eyes widening and his head jerking forwards a little bit. "That's not a good thing! You shouldn't keep getting hurt!"

"Self-inflicted Nick, I deserve it," I answered quickly, going back to work before Nick could argue. Throughout the case, we had to constantly handle heavy evidence, and somehow I forced myself to walk fine.

A few days later, Nick and I found ourselves chasing our killer, with Mitch and Akers to arrest him. My ankle was hurting worse than ever, but still I pushed through it like hell. Nick and Akers had gone through his front door while Mitch and I went through the back.

The killer jumped out a back window, so Mitch and I gave chase first. I ran much faster than Mitch because I was much lighter than him. Too light. The killer turned to look back at us and slammed into a wall, and I took the opportunity to corner him. However, he smacked me in the side of my face, stunning me; it stung, and I reflexively closed my eyes as my body tilted to the side a little. The perp used that opportunity to jab me in the stomach, making me cough out blood. The adrenaline which I had been running off of for the past week kicked in, and before he could hit me again, I put my arms up to guard my face, then quickly fought him, striking his face and chest, angry, hurting, and finally with a release for everything I was feeling.

With no idea how to fight an unpredictable opponent, plus Nick finally closing in on him, the killer quickly grabbed my shirt with both hands, and threw me into the wall. He turned to run, leaving me sagging against the wall, fighting the pain of an imminent concussion.

But he had taken too long with me, and Nick used most of the momentum he had to knock him down and pin him face down on the ground. As he held him, he faced me. With the last of my strength, I looked away to spare whatever dignity I had left. "What was that?" I recognise the tone he used as the one he and Warrick used on each other when the one of them was being unruly. Akers quickly caught up and put handcuffs on the killer. He then made him stand up and hauled him to Mitch. Together, the two policemen marched him to their squad car.

Nick's voice became kinder as he approached me, leaning his head from one side to another as he looked at my wounds. "We need to get you to a hospital."

I tried to shake my head, but, "Ah fuck..." I raised a hand and tenderly rested it on my screaming head.

Nick shook his head. "I'm gonna call Grissom."

Fuck. Gil. I had forgotten about him through this whole ordeal. We were technically together, but we had not been dating that long, and honestly, I did not think that he really loved me all that much, much less that he would care. "No," I rasped out, "Don't tell him."

"(Y/n), I know you think you'd be bothering your boyfriend, but that's literally what you're supposed to do - he's supposed to take care of you."

Through my blood, I gave a wheezing laugh. "He wouldn't care about me. Why would he? Especially now. I'm such a wreck."

Nick shook his head gently, sad concern in his eyes. "I know you're used to people not caring about you, but truth is, we do. You belong with us." This time it was his turn to call Grissom before I could say anything.

Nick went to perform the concluding interrogation while I was treated in Desert Palm. Throughout that whole process, Gil was by my side. He wanted to hold my hand, but I guiltily kept away from him, not even daring to look at him. Aside from my concussion, I had a black eye from where I had been whacked, a bruise on my gut, and an array of bruises on my side and arm from being forced to collide with the wall. When my examining doctor found my hurt ankle, there was some questioning raised, as that was not part of the story I told him and Gil about why I was there in the first place. I gurgled a little before speaking, "Yeah, that one's just my own shit. Pay no mind."

"Even if this injury wasn't work-inflicted, you should still get it treated," the doctor said gently. I blew a small huff through my nose in reluctance, not that it was audible enough for him to pick up.

Him walking off to get what he needed was when Gil tried to make me look at him; I still could not. "(Y/n)..." he said in an undertone. I could not face him, fearing that he was angry. "I'm worried about you."

I huffed a bigger huff through my nose this time and hung my head. "You shouldn't be. You needn't bother."

"(Y/n). Don't say that," he said, strict, urgent, and yet...loving. "It's my job to worry about you. Not only as your partner or boss, but as your friend. I love you. We love you. You have to remember that. I'm still struggling to internalise that myself, and I hope I can help you to do that too."

Damn that man and his...his stupid endearing candance and honesty. I just stayed there with my head low, not knowing how to take it, not knowing what to say.

After I was treated, I was discharged. Gilbert Arthur tried to foot the bill for me and I protested vehemently, until we made a deal that we would each pay fifty percent of the price. As we were walking to his car, he instructed, "No work until you're fully better. You are to be on paid leave."

I smiled wryly. "What about all the other open cases? I need to push through and work through them all."

"Who told you that?" he asked, surprising me with his firmness; he even stopped so that we would turn and face each other, with him folding his arms.

"My parents. Well, not my mom; she wouldn't say it directly, but she always pressures me to keep going even when I'm dead tired. And my dad would say that if I can't handle it, J shouldn't be a CSI; he has said that about lots of other professions." But Gil just kept staring at me, and that made me question, "...what?"

Finally, he drew back, took in a breath, and answered, "Consider the source." I tilted my head to one side and blinked. "Consider the source - who is telling you that? Your parents. Your parents are abusive and are not exactly the best people you should listen to."

I lowered my eyes with a blink. "But then...who should I listen to?"

"You're a grown woman, (y/n). You can make your decisions for yourself. I know your parents do everything in their power to control you, but they don't really have a hold on you anymore. You can think for yourself, and, you have us. You've expressed many times that we're your family. Well, let us be that for you. We'll help you." For the third time that day, I was stunned. "I know this is a lot to take in, so I'm just going to leave it at that. Just know that if you want to talk to me, I'm right here."

He guided me to his car and drove me home. "Go and clean up, I'll stay here, in case you need my help." I did not have any fight left in me and could not argue, so I went to do as he said. I came out to find him sitting on the couch, with a mug of warm chocolate he had made for me on the coffee table. "Sugar, for your blood loss." My adrenaline rush had been replaced with fuel requirement a while ago, and him verbalising it made it kick in, and so I eagerly drank up the beverage.

With myself somewhat normal again, my feelings slowly settled in. I closed my eye sorrowfully and started to lean on him, too tired for anything. He put his arms around me and brought me close, gently pressing his lips on the bandage on my head.

#gil grissom loving #gil grissom #billy petersen loving #billy petersen #william petersen #csi #pull me apart #neffex #c-v-c-e fic #blood tw #violence tw

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ladyztardust · 1 year

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yesterday i ate brownies and bad tripped for the first time it was so horrible. thankfully i was with my brother at my house but i felt really bad cos he was probably worried and it late so yeah. even after i woke up i still felt kinda gone.

the world felt the next thing to weird. when it started it was like a grey thing went all over my senses and then when i was trying to say that to brother i caught up on that i was bad tripping and almost panicked . my limbs felt like fucking spaghetti and was on the floor for the most part.

something was rlly weird bcs even tho i was In that state i still knew like stuff that i should/shouldn't do??? like abt little rules that i depend on. so even if I was out of my mind i think it could have gone a lot worse and do/say stuff that i ended regretting later.

i dunno the thought process there but like out of nowhere i told brother to play shake it off while pointing at him lmao. I must've looked so funny the whole time. Said so much nonsense but i felt really weird. my stomach hurt like hell and then i was like "ohh im just hungry" yikessss

i knew that thinking bad stuff would only make it worse so i had to restrain myself from thinking shit imagine that,, when all i think is depressive stuff. it was rlly funny cos i would think and then would get carried away and i had to push the thought away, I would shock my head and then start all over again.

i had to sleep with my mum so when i was trying to tuck myself in i lasted so long she was "like wtf ur doing" lmao then i was thinking abt how things felt like tilting from one side to the other and then made the picture to go still and i felt like all the world went still and i felt normal, it didn't last for long but it was soo weird.

i dont think im getting high again anytime soon and I'm definitely not doing edibles again

#bad trip #stoner

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jingyismom · 3 years

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Since you are my favourite bottom!lwj writer, can i humbly direct you towards the (bottom lwj) wuji prompt fest over on ao3? https://archiveofourown.org/collections/WuJiPromptFest/profile

(That is unless you already know about it)

Ah, anon! This is fabulous information, but I do know about it! I’ve already posted one prompt fill, and I have two more claims that I’m working on!! This is so sweet of you though, thank you so much. Everyone else head over to WuJi PromptFest and check out the cool prompts and the fills that have already been done!

#helpful anon is helpful #kind people being kind #asked and answered #i might cruise over and see if there's anything that i could fill in like less than 5k #but i'm so bad at restraining myself i probably shouldn't #oh and hey anon #if there's a prompt you specifically want me to look at #feel free to link me to it

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holden-caulfield · 3 years

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Traditions

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REQUESTED: "Hii may i request a draco x reader where they’re bestfriends atm but they both have feeling for each other and none of them is willing to tell anything. it’s winter, then they end up under a mistletoe. But the key is that the mistletoe only spawns above those who both love each other."

SUMMARY: y/n and draco find themselves under some mistletoe.

WARNINGS: none!!

WORD COUNT: 797

A/N: i'm not sure about this one, i've been feeling really unmotivated and uninspired... idk

"You're really not gonna tell her?" spoke Blaise incredulously.

"Of course not, i'm not gonna make a fool of myself." said Draco haughtily, but it was evident there was a touch of fear in his voice.

"You already are a fool, might as well ask her out." added Theo Nott from his bed.

Draco shot him a deadly glare before deciding he was ready to descend the stairs towards the common room.

"You should just tell him, y/n!" said Pansy, her tone slightly annoyed at your stubbornness.

"You know i'm not, you can stop telling me." you declared, sitting on your bed waiting for your friends to get ready.

It was the final day of school before the winter break; that meant saying goodbye to all your friends as if it was the last time you'd see each other forever, only to see them again in january.

You finally reached the common room, at the same time the boys did. A fortuity.

You caught Draco's gaze before everyone else's, always so calm and collected. He smiled at you, a rare occurrence because the boy's face never showed particular signs of happiness.

You smiled back, the joy of having finished the tests until next year showing through the bright grin directed to the boy.

You opted to talk to him, not to confess your feelings, you wouldn't have. It was nothing but a crush, one that didn't need to be revealed.

He saw you approaching and the thought of disclosing his love crossed his mind, but he wouldn't have. No, he wouldn't.

"Off to Paris, Malfoy?" you started jokingly, knowing about the Malfoys' usual 'common and boring' trips, as Draco frequently described them.

"Italy, most probably, it's much better." you giggled and you would have continued your casual conversation hadn't it been for your friends calling you.

"Y/n, Draco..."

"Yes, we're coming."

"No..." you stopped yourself to stare at your friends but they simply pointed out a spot just above your head.

You and Draco looked up to find mistletoe, mouths slightly agape at the unexpected coincidence.

You let out a laugh that sounded more like a heavy breath as you kept on staring at the plant above you, utterly scared of what might happen if you crossed his stormy eyes instead.

He seemed to have the same idea, keeping his gaze on the mistletoe, jaw clenched.

"Maybe you should... y'know..." started Pansy with her usual shrilly tone that only appeared when something exciting was happening.

Draco finally looked at you, but you didn't dare lower your regard.

"We shouldn't-"

"It'd be just a kiss, bad things happen to those who break traditions..." uttered Theo much like a prophet, interrupting Draco and his weak attempt at restraining himself.

"It'd be... just a kiss, right?" you finally spoke, barely audible, but Draco's ears understood your dulcet voice perfectly.

"Only if you want." he stated clearly, but you both wanted it. You had wanted it since the day you had met. But the courage to actually make the first step always seemed too weak in comparison to the will to maintain your friendship, the fear the sentiment might not have been reciprocated.

You tentatively closed the distance and he followed gladly. Lips finally touching after so much longing.

It was an instant you wished last forever, but under the curious gazes of your nosey friends you deemed it best to stop.

His cheeks were now scarlet and your own certainly felt hot after the searing moment you had just exchanged. You blamed the sudden heat on the observers, but you both knew the real reason.

"Well?" asked Daphne, leaning towards the two of you almost as if she was watching the most important scene of her favourite tv show.

"Well what? It was nothing, just- a friendly kiss, wasn't it?" you replied, staring at Draco once more.

"It would have been, but that is magical mistletoe." stated Blaise, pointing to the plant hanging above you. You lifted your gaze and noticed it had considerably grown since the last time you saw it, red berries adorning its every branch.

"And?" asked Draco, an eyebrow raising up in question and slight annoyance. Typical, but you couldn't help but love it.

"It only spawns above those who love each other."

At that point, your body was like on fire and you felt your limbs suddenly go rigid. You wanted to do something but it was impossible.

"Very funny. Hilarious, really." continued Draco, trying to play it off, but his eyes displayed something else, uncertainty.

"Try moving, it'll spawn there too." spoke Blaise, incredibly amused.

"I swear i would have told you." you suddenly said, catching everyone's attention. "At some point."

"No, you wouldn't." shrieked Pansy.

He smirked, "Then good thing this happened."

taglist - @turn-to-page-394-please @gwlvr @dracosaccount @henqtic @dracomalfoys-wh0re @eunoniaa @oeuryale @wh0re4blaise @harmqnia @sanctimoniousslytherpuff @maybesandohnos @dracoswhore007 @paulina1998 @bungunz @malfoysbiitch @dreamy-clousds @malfoyxxdraco23 @saayanaaa @xlauren-malfoyx @riddleswh0r3crux @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @elevatorsdoor @dracoscene @beforeoursunsets @bby-gxrnet @desiredmalfoy @marrymetheonott @o-rion-sta-r @justreadingficsdontmindme @mollysolo @cheriedraco @prettygirlkay @dlmmdl @chaoticgirl04 @badass-yn @peachybaes

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#draco malfoy x reader #harry potter #fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #fanfic #draco x reader #draco imagine #draco x y/n #holden's recs #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n

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redrobin-detective · 2 years

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What do you think about nurse to patient ratios? I live in CA where nursing ratios are mandated by law and my sister, a nurse, says she can't imagine having to work somewhere without ratios.

Sorry you probably don't want this but I was stimming on this question all night bc I wanted to answer right away but restrained myself. You have been warned. Putting under a readmore because it got loooong also the general shittiness of my job rn.

NURSE TO PATIENT RATIOS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AND CALIFORNIA IS THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN. The important thing to keep in mind with N:P ratios is not only number of patients a nurse has at one time but also the acuity (sickness level) of a patient.

So, background. I am a stepdown medical ICU nurse in which we take medical patients who need higher monitoring than a standard floor bed but aren't sick enough for an ICU. In Covid America the new norm is the ICU is too full so they send us patients that really shouldn't be on our unit. Our hospital is mandated with N:P ratios. ICUs are 1-2 patients per nurse, floor beds can have up to 5 patients (which I think is insane even if they're super easy). My units ratio is 2-3 max. In the 2 years I worked on my unit pre covid, this worked out just fine. Sometimes you had bad days but overall I had time for lunch breaks, for chatting, for ensuring I'm doing proper patient care. The best way to describe how bad it's gotten is my day yesterday.

I walk on my 16 bed unit, 15 beds full, 1 open with a most likely ICU downgrade. We have 6 nurses for the daytime (fully staffed is 7). The night charge nurse (who serves as a unit resource/helper/organizer and also makes the assignment) is struggling on how to assign each nurse to a patient.

The one open bed ensures someone will get an admission but the unit wasn't Safe to admit a new sick patient. Out of 15 patients 8 (EIGHT) are trached, 3 of them are on the vent (4 is our max), 2 were known to be belligerent and exhausting to staff, 2 patients were decompensating and would probably need to go to the ICU at some point. 1 was a new admit overnight and thus a wild card, at least 4 were mildly confused and trying to fling out of bed/pulls at important medical devices without semi regular supervision. The night shift charge looked about ready to Die and was struggling to make a fair, balanced assignment.

As a charge nurse, I offered to help. We immediately petitioned our manager to close the open bed which was granted but only about an hour into day shift so night shift had no way of knowing if some poor sod would have to admit. I was the most experienced nurse on the floor that day (including day charge) save a travel nurse. Now about charge, the ideal is keep them out of the numbers (no patients) but with acuity rising and being short staffed they're usually required to take at least one (3 patients to charge is the nightmare scenario, I've done it and its rough). Day charge got one patient so, by the math one nurse would either have to admit or possibly get to stay in a blessed 2 patient assignment.

I, a bit selfishly I'm big enough to admit, asked for the potential admit assignment bc the other option was a patient I had an exceedingly bad interaction with last week and wasn't in the mood for. I didn't think our manager would close the bed bc, with numbers rising, higher management has been pushing back on our ability to close beds. But miraculously! The bed was closed, no new patients coming in.

My assignment was a fairly stable ICU downgrade overnight who was trached, vented, but alert, able to turn on her own and very nice. My other was a sad confused cancer patient was tied down every which way to prevent himself from getting out of bed or pulling at his tubes, he had IV medications every half hour quite literally and just overall a mess. I busted ass all day yesterday, literally running the whole day but you know what? I provided damn good care to both my patients. My assignment was busy but SAFE. I had time to focus on my poor cancer patient and!!! Meaningfully make some progress in his treatment course instead of just maintaining because I had the time and energy to do my fucking job. So what's the problem, Robin?

The problem was, to ensure I had a safe assignment almost no one else on the unit did. Every other nurse I ran into looked frazzled and stressed. The other assignment I was supposed to get was nightmarish, the travel nurse looked so wearied and broken by the end. (My only consolation is she makes like triple my salary). I felt SO guilty yesterday bc even though my assignment was hard and I didn't sit down and eat until 4:30pm, I still arguably had the easiest time. And that's not safe, not for our health, not for nurse retention, not for our patients.

The staffing coordinator laughed in my face a few weeks back when I mentioned we were temporarily staffing for 8 nurses back in December/Jan when covid numbers spiked again. "How can you possibly expect me to find you nurses for 8 when I can barely keep you staffed for 7?" I sniped back that they can't expect us to take care of certified ICU level patients without ICU level staffing. She didn't say much after that.

So yeah, my hospital adheres to N:P ratios. I've never had to take a 4th patient and hope to god I never will. But the fact remains that 7 nurses for 16 beds used to be doable and its simply not anymore. My manager confided in me the other day that her boss told her if we try to hire any more nurses we will lose our travel nurses (5) which is insane because we're barely scraping by as it is. Our new nurses came off orientation around Oct/Nov and some of them are already telling me they're burning out and considering leaving after their 1 year contract is up. I want to tell them there's greener pastures but this is sadly the state of current hospital nursing everywhere.

Of nurses dropping out of the profession d/t lack of safety and exhaustion, of patients getting sicker and sicker because of covid but also!!! Lack of the dedicated, focused nursing care they need to get better (The amt of families who've screamed at me over the last year bc I'm not in their room often enough, I'm sorry I have 2 other patients who are also seriously ill I'm trying), every unit being backed up and overflowed and ICUs get preference over everyone else (in terms of budget, staffing, respect) so we're forced to take unsafe patients that I know we can't properly care for. It's so frustrating.

Everyone keeps saying we need a reckoning in healthcare. I say we're gonna get one whether we want it or not because something has to give. You can't punish and push your workforce for going on 3 years straight without consequence. I never thought I'd say March 2020 was the Easy Time bc I had resources and staffing and something of my mental health sorted. Nurses can't ethically strike but we can break and something, nationally, is going to have to be altered when we all collectively give out.

#adventures in nursing #I did not mean to talk for so long #i clearly have strong feelings on the matter #got kinda off topic but like #I was so mad yesterday at how guilty I felt that I had the units only safe assignment #prety much everyone on our unit needs to be in a 2 patient combo #how do you decide who gets it #I kept asking how people were doing and most of them were like 'you're asking bc you can help? please help!'#and I had to explain No!! I cant help Im overwhelmed myself but I'm checking in bc I'm worried!#i shouldnt feel guilty for taking the time to provide fucking care #to make sure my 8 million IV meds don't interact #to explain to the family his condition and help them come to a decision regarding the course of his care #to notice that hey he's so backed up in stool I'm pretty sure it's coming out of his stomach tube!#or that his wound is probably infected and no one documented it!#the night nurse only did one documented assessment on them (its supposed to be 3)#they looked wrecked at the end of shift #they probably didnt have time #this is fucking insane

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hot-wiings · 3 years

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The One Where Denki And Mina Think Katsuki Needs To Be A Softer, Nicer Boyfriend, And An Insecure Katsuki Agrees, But [Y/N] [L/N] Doesn't Want A Nicer Boyfriend, She Wants Him.

Requested By: @spicyhokage

Edited: 1-6-2021

It was late when Katsuki came in through class 2-A's dormitory doors. Being his second year at UA the school was allowing students to go back into student internships. With Best Jeanist still off the streets, Katsuki wound up interning with Fatgum, using the link between Eijirou and him to get in. Katsuki hadn't expected to be out for so long, there had been a bad villain that showed up at a different agency and it was a perfect match for both his and Fatgum's abilities. Fatgum had allowed Katsuki to work on it with him, nevermind the fact that Katsuki had already planned a study date for your upcoming test Monday, he jumped at the chance to work with the heroes.

Katsuki knew, or at least he hoped, that you wouldn't be that mad or upset at him for ditching you at the very last minute. It was a leg up in the hero industry, it was a helping hand, he could make more connections and improve his skills. As a student hero, you should know how important this is. He'd want you to make the same choice if it was reversed.

Despite abandoning your date, Katsuki wasn't heartless. He bought a bouquet of hydrangeas as an apology. Apologies weren't something he was good at, but he hoped you would accept it. Katsuki was hoping you would be up waiting for him in the dormitory lounge when he came back, but he knew that one was a longshot. He'd rather have you in bed resting, or making up for the studying he promised to help with but hadn't. Katsuki was hoping he'd find you in the dormitory lounge waiting for him, but instead, he found two of his peers.

"You were out awfully late, weren't you?"

"Shut it, pink face. I need to go see [Y/N] and then head to bed, like a smart student. You and dunce face do realize that we have a big test Monday, don't you?"

Katsuki marched right past Mina and Denki, who were sitting on the couch, towards the elevator to get up to your dorm. If he was right, Mr. Aizawa would be asleep by this hour, and getting into your dorm would be no issue. Katsuki stopped walking towards the elevator when he hears Minas' voice speak out again.

"Did you really get hydrangeas for her? You ditched her for your internship and you got hydrangeas? Girls like roses Katsuki. If a guy ever brought me hydrangeas, I'd kick his butt to the door. Queens deserve better."

"What the fuck are you implying raccoon eyes?"

Katsuki turned back around to yell at Mina for implying that he wasn't good enough for you. He nearly crumpled the flowers by clenching his hand. Mina didn't know what she was talking about. He had brought you hydrangeas several times before, you never complained about it. Denki spoke up to try and intervene Katsuki from blowing up on Mina.

"I think what Mina meant to say is that we're just worried for you. You really like [Y/N], right? Take it from a guy who gets dumped by girls a lot. Pretty girls like [Y/N] don't need to sit around waiting for guys like us. While you're trying to further your career you're ditching her, not to mention, when is the last time you showed her affection?"

"For starters, dunce face, don't call my girlfriend pretty. Secondly, there are no guys like us and girls like [Y/N], there's me, her, and all of you fucking extras that need to get out of my relationship."

"Fine, don't take our advice. Just so you know, [Y/N] isn't in her dorm, she's in the kitchen."

Mina practically sings her words out, and Katsuki changes his course of route from the elevator to the kitchen. He had a scowl on his face the entire time, courtesy of Mina and Denki. He had to restrain himself from beating them with the bouquet. Katsuki reached the kitchen door and he took a minute to recompose himself from his previous anger to a calmer version of himself. He pushed the door open with a calmer smile on his face but stops after opening it halfway.

"What's the answer to number two?"

"Uhm... 6?"

"That's right! Here's your reward."

Katsuki clenched his fist, practically ruining the flowers. He ditched you and your study date, he shouldn't be getting so mad at seeing you and Deku study together. You can have friends other than him. You can be around members of the male gender other than him. Even if it is shitty Deku. You're allowed to have a life outside of Katsuki, but as Deku broke apart a cookie and threw it right into your mouth, a sweet reward for getting the question right, he was ready to toss hands with the boy.

"We're gonna ace this test Monday. Thanks for studying with me Deku. I hate studying alone and you're great at math. Usually, Katsuki helps me, but he got busy."

"It's no problem, [Y/N]. Seriously, I'm always here if you need me."

Katsuki quietly pulled the door shut instead of going in and interrupting you and dumb Deku. Maybe Mina was right. Katsuki thought about it more as he walked back to Mina and Denki. He didn't really show you affection that much, and he did spend a lot of time in the gym or at his internship. His idea of a date was training together or studying. You probably hated the flowers but chose not to speak on it. If he didn't change, change now and fast he was going to lose you to that shit-munch. He needed to show you he was the better more deserving man. As Katsuki stared at Mina and Denki he uttered the words he never wanted to say to them.

"I want your fuckin' help."

"Bring [Y/N] roses. Girls love roses. Not a daffodil, not baby's breath, not a tulip. Roses."

Roses were Mina's first piece of advice to Katsuki. According to her, girls only cared about getting roses, and every other flower was inferior. She also said apology flowers must be paired with chocolates. Katsuki personally thought that was bullshit. He had been bringing you different breeds of flowers throughout your entire relationship and never once had you vocalized disdain for it. But Mina is a girl unlike him, so she must have had some kind of special insight. You must have just not wanted to make him feel bad for messing up. Katsuki knew he was inexperienced in the dating area, but he hadn't realized he was screwing up so badly.

Katsuki did exactly what Mina said. Saturday afternoon, Katsuki showed up at your dorm with a bouquet of yellow roses and a box of chocolates, the milk chocolate kind. According to Mina, milk chocolate was better than dark chocolate. He knocked on the door after checking his phone for the time. He knew you didn't like getting up early on the weekend, and you had been up late studying the night before. Twelve-thirty seemed like a reasonable time to stop by.

You opened the door, slippers on your feet, eyes barely opened, and a crinkled forehead as you tried to slightly open them to see who you were staring at. You had a pair of shorts on and one of Katsuki's sweatshirts. One you promised you hadn't seen and swore he must've lost in the dorms laundry facility. Katsuki smiled down at your sleepy form, you were adorable. Once you registered who it was you yawned and crossed your arms as you lazily leaned against the door frame and let a small smile cross your face.

"What're you doing here? You were out so late last night, you must be exhausted."

"I could say the same about you, you look like the epitome of tired. How late were you up?"

"No later than two. When did you get in?"

Katsuki didn't want to tell you he came in at midnight. You would've asked him why he didn't come to see you, and he didn't want to say that he saw you and Deku studying together. He didn't want to admit that he felt pained at seeing you together so close. Pained at you needing and using Deku as you would him. Katsuki held up the roses and chocolates and thrust them into your arms.

"I didn't even check the time. I brought you apology flowers and chocolate for ditching you. They're roses!"

"O-Oh, they're yellow."

You took the items he thrust into your arms and moved further into your dorm so he could come in. You set the chocolate down on the bed but kept observing the flowers. Katsuki was quite proud of the flowers he picked out. They were pretty and blooming, and he thought you'd like them. Yellow roses would look good in your dorm room. You, on the other hand, were not ecstatic with the flowers. You bit your lip and tried to make your smile bigger. Did he know what yellow roses symbolized? He had to of known, even Denki would know something this simple. Maybe you were reading into it too much, they're just flowers. It was a gift, not a death sentence to your relationship.

"I'll have to go to the kitchen and see if there's anything I can put them in."

Katsuki could sense you being standoffish. He assumed you were upset at him for ditching you the previous night. He did the flowers right, he would just have to go the extra mile to make you happy with him by serving your needs.

"I can go to the kitchen and find a vase! You just shower or get dressed, or whatever, and I'll even bring you up some lunch."

"You don't have to do that. I can get dressed and do it myself."

"I don't have to do it, I want to do it."

Katsuki cupped your cheeks and pressed a quick kiss against your lips. They were soft and sweet. Katsuki could taste the residue sugar from the cookies you had been eating the night before and he pulled back with a frown, making you frown just as much. He wasn't mad that you didn't brush your teeth, although you should have. He was upset at the reminder that Deku was with you when you were supposed to be having a study date. He was upset that Deku was the one who stayed up with you until two in the morning. He was upset that Deku was acting like a better boyfriend when he was just your friend and nothing more. Katsuki should've been doing more, he should've been doing a better job.

"I really am sorry for ditching you yesterday. If you want, we can redo the date today."

"I really missed you yesterday. I did some cramming with Deku, but I don't think he's as good of a teacher as you are."

"Of course dumb Deku isn't as good as me. I'll grab my books before I come back, we'll have a nice do-over date."

Hearing you say that Izuku wasn't as good as him made him feel good. It was slightly reassuring to Katsuki, yet he couldn't stop this budding feeling every time he thought about you and Izuku studying last night.

"Buy her something nice. Something nice like jewelry. I always see you buying her practical stuff, that's boring. Girls like pretty shiny gifts from their boyfriends."

Mina's second piece of advice had been to buy you some jewelry. According to Mina jewelry was an acceptable gift for a boyfriend to buy his girlfriend. Katsuki had been buying you practical and weird gifts throughout your relationship. He thought they were good, he thought they were sweet and enjoyable. He supposed he was wrong. With every piece of advice from Mina, Katsuki was getting punched in the gut. He thought he was treating you right, he thought he was doing this whole relationship thing right, but he wasn't. If he didn't fix things fast then dumb Deku would steal you away from him.

Katsuki felt inside of his pocket for the necklace he bought you. He had Mina help him pick it out that morning. It had been sitting there in a pretty little black box with a red bow waiting to be opened. He wanted to give it to you when he gave you the flowers, but he didn't want you to view it as an apology gift, he wanted it to be viewed as a sweet, 'I was thinking of you', gift.

By the time Katsuki had gotten back to your dorm room, you were all showered and dressed in fresh clothes. You were wearing comfortable clothes, and Katsuki had to smile again. You looked simply perfect. With your hair pushed back by a headband, sweatpants, and another one of his sweaters which you practically swam in, you looked angelic to him. Katsuki put a bag containing your lunch on the small table you had in your room, he placed the vase containing your new flowers there too before pulling out your lunch. You grabbed his book bag from him with a smile and began to pull his books out and place them alongside yours in a neatly organized fashion to create a nice study space.

"What'd you find for lunch?"

"There wasn't much in the fridge to quickly grab, so I made some curry."

"I love it when you cook. It always tastes good."

You smiled at Katsuki and placed a quick peck against his cheek before taking a seat next to him. His chest swelled with pride as he watched you freely dig into the container of food. You liked his cooking, and as he watched you feast in it he knew you weren't lying. At least he did one thing right on his own. One more wrong thing and he was sure he was going to blow a casket.

"Aren't you gonna eat?"

You stared at him with half-lidded eyes and spoke with your mouth half full, barely pronouncing your words but Katsuki still knew what you were saying. He stopped staring at you and began working on his own dish. Every once and a while Katsuki noticed your eyes go from your food to his face and then to the flowers before diving back to the food. He supposed you really liked them. It felt good knowing he was doing it right. It felt good knowing you were happy and content with him for the moment.

You wiped your face off and just as you were about to clean up your lunch mess Katsuki jumped up and took care of it. He grabbed your lunch containers and closed them before tossing them back into the bag he brought them in. He took a wet wipe and wiped up your table and then proceeded to toss the dirty wipe in the trash bin.

"Ready to study?"

"Yup! You're a really good teacher, I really look forward to our study dates."

You walked over to your bed and took a seat on the ground whereas Katsuki laid across your bed in a position where he could have a book out and also easily look over the edge to see what you were doing. This was how you always did your study dates. Katsuki would work and watch to see if you were slacking off, then you would switch books and quiz each other. Slowly the clock clicked away, each passing second made Katsuki grow antsy. He wanted to give you the stupid neckless he had inside his pocket. Katsuki huffed as he slammed his book shut and pushed it off of the bed. You craned your neck back to see what Kastuki was doing before narrowing your eyes, no way did he think he could stop studying while he made you work.

"What are you doing? Are you studying up there?"

"No, c'mere."

You huffed as you pulled yourself up off of the floor and crawled onto the bed next to Katsuki. A mixture of blankets and skin touched you as he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you so your back was flush against his chest. He let his head rest inside your neck, and you struggled to pull out of his grip.

"What are you doing? We're supposed to be studying."

"I don't wanna study right now. The test is Monday, we can still study tomorrow."

You bit your lip as you contemplated his offer. He had a point. The test was Monday morning, and it was only Saturday, not to mention that you had studied with Deku yesterday. The offer was just so out of character for Katsuki, part of you wondered if it was a trick and thought he was going to pull out a piece of rolled-up newspaper to hit you with like he did for Eijirou. You let yourself sink into his arms, you had been up to this for a while, you deserved a break.

"Okay, but only a small break. got it?"

"Mm. I got you something."

Katsuki pulled away from your body to dig in his pocket and pull out the small black box. You rolled over so you could face him and your gift with a growing smile on your face. You loved Katsuki's gifts. Whether it was intentional or not, he always got you something you needed. Whether it was you complaining about cold hands or your lack of working pens, the next day you would find gloves and a pack of pens with a note from him saying something stupid, like 'You better use these to take your shitty notes' and 'If you get arthritis in your hands you can't become a hero'. It was always a surprise and a delight. Katsuki handed over the box and you tore the bow off before opening it.

"It's a necklace!"

"Oh, it's very cute."

You tried not to frown as you looked over the necklace. You tried you're best to put a beaming smile on your face. It was still a gift and you needed to show your gratitude. It wasn't as conventional as your other gifts, but it was still pretty. Maybe it had a special meaning? Maybe he saw it and thought of you? It was just so unusual. He never bought you jewelry and the style was obviously not his.

"Did you pick it out yourself?"

You tried not to make it sound like you were fishing for an explanation as you smiled and clasped it around your neck to show how much you 'loved' it. Katsuki contemplated telling you he picked it out himself but seeing as you were friends with Mina he wasn't sure what she'd say and he didn't want to look bad.

"Well, I got a little help. Figured a female's perspective wouldn't hurt."

Suddenly you felt sick to your stomach. Not only had he given you a necklace, an unconventional and unusual gift compared to the ones he usually gave, but he let a girl pick it out. There was no special meaning, it was just pretty. Your mind went back to the flowers. The yellow roses. He bought you yellow roses. Your whole relationship he brought different breeds and types, never roses. Especially not yellow, the color that represented friendship.

"Thank you, I love it!"

You wrapped your arms around Katsuki, bringing him into a big, tight hug. Although you were with him physically, mentally you were in other places. That dark place in the back of your head was telling you why he gave you these offhanded weird gifts. The dark place in the back of your head was filling you with untrue silly thoughts, yet you couldn't help but let your head entertain them and wonder. The more you wondered, the more you wanted to rip your neckless off.

mina

Pop music could be heard blaring loudly from a BlueTooth speaker connected to Mina's phone as you walked into her dorm room. Without knocking you barged right in, Mina supposed there really was a reason you and Katsuki were together. You were both bluntly rude and sometimes you didn't even realize it. You flopped down at the foot of her bed and looked up at her before greeting your pink friend.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Mina didn't look up from what she was doing, she continued flicking through the pages of some fashion-forward girly magazine as she replied to you. You ran your fingers through her soft duvet as you looked around her dorm room. It looked like Claires threw up on the walls and it gave you a major headache. You and Mina had two different style sets, two sets of style very far apart.

"Did you study for the test tomorrow?"

Unlike her room, that was a subject that would give Mina a headache. Mina roughly flipped another page of the magazine she was holding as she let out an exhausted breath.

"No, and before you scold me neither did Denki. I swear Katsuki is rubbing off on you."

At the sound of his name, your hand went up and touched the necklace he got for you. You only wore it in case you saw Katsuki today, you planned to wear it for the next two weeks, then you'd pretend you lost it. You weren't a necklace kind of person, and it wasn't even sentimental. Mina tossed her magazine down on the bed and a smile played on her face as she saw the necklace between your fingers.

"That's a cute necklace? Did Katsuki get it for you?"

"Yeah, he did."

You answer Mina's questions and inquiries as you let the gem on the necklace slip out of your fingers. You couldn't help but let your face slip into a frown. You couldn't help it, the more you thought about the necklace, the further you fell into dark thoughts. It wasn't even the fact that it wasn't sentimental like all of the other gifts he gave you, it was the fact he let some girl pick it out. You weren't a controlling person, not remotely. If Katsuki wanted female friends he could have them, he did have them. While he wouldn't call Mina a friend, she was. Mina was a girl you felt comfortable with, however, you had already had a girl in mind of who you thought helped him, a girl who wasn't Mina. A girl you didn't feel comfortable with, a girl you knew you shouldn't feel comfortable with.

"Well, it's very pretty, if I had a boyfriend who brought me gifts like that I'd be over the moon. So I take it things between you and Katsuki are good then?"

"I guess, um, I just... I think Katsuki is cheating on me."

You started off in a stutter before you bluntly spoke out your words. The moment your voice hits your ears you cringe at yourself and cross your arms. It was such a ridiculous thought. A horrendous and dark thought that, lately, kept crossing your mind more often than it should be crossing and occurring.

"What? Why?!"

"He's just acting so strange and weird."

You pulled yourself up into a cross-legged sitting position on Mina's bed to talk to her. Mina moved and adjusted her own body, completely immersed in what you were saying. You played with your hand as your next words came out.

"Whenever he's out late he always, and I mean always comes to my dorm before going to bed. He didn't come to my dorm last Friday, instead, he shows up at my dorm Saturday afternoon with flowers."

"Flowers are sweet and romantic though. The fact that he bought them for you means he cares."

"Katsuki always brings me a wide variety of flowers. Hydrangeas, snapdragons, hyacinth. It's out of the ordinary and romantic, but this time he bought roses. Not just any roses, yellow roses. What kind of statement is he trying to make with that one?! Everyone knows yellow roses mean friendship and red means romance. Even Denki knows that."

Mina scratched the back of her head nervously. She supposed she should have explained to Katsuki to get red roses. Katsuki was unaware of things in the romance department. Mina needed to try and dial things back before Katsuki found out what you're thinking.

"Katsuki isn't very romantically smart, you're his first serious romantic relationship."

"Yeah, but we've been dating for nearly a year, and that's not even it. We were studying yesterday, and you know how strict Katsuki is when he's studying, you've seen him with Eijirou. Katsuki was not strict at all, he made me stop studying to cuddle. To cuddle! Can you believe that?"

"Well... Maybe he's trying to be sweeter to you, I mean look at the necklace he got you, it's so romantic."

"Don't even get me started on the necklace! Katsuki always brings me sentimental and meaningful gifts. He buys me pencil led when I'm low, and notebooks when he sees my paper is getting down to the end, he buys me gloves when he notices mine are lost or have holes. They're stupid and meaningful and I love it."

You ran your fingers through your hair distressed and upset. Yanking your hands through a few new forming snarls from laying on the bed, practically pulling some hair strands out.

"The necklace isn't meaningful, it doesn't have sentiment, and he didn't even pick it out himself! Some girl picked it out for him."

"Why, didn't he say who? It doesn't mean anything. The girl is probably a friend."

"I think I already know who the girl is. It's some stupid brunette from Shiketsu High. They met during his supplementary lessons, they met again after their internship heroes started working together regularly. She saw him when we were walking to get coffee and she just had to stop and talk to him, she was obviously flirting with him."

You had never felt more awkward at that moment. She was blatantly flirting with him, whether she knew that you were together or not, you didn't know. You didn't expect Katsuki to talk about his relationship during his internship, he was supposed to be working, but you didn't trust her. You knew from that moment the brunette was going to be trouble. She was interested in your boyfriend and that spelled out trouble to you.

"'had a little help' he says, staking her claim on what's mine I say."

"[Y/N], I don't think katsuki would cheat on you. He wouldn't do that."

Mina felt completely nervous. She hadn't realized you and she had such different opinions on romance and what was wooing and not. Katsuki was romantic, he was doing nothing wrong, she just didn't see it from your point of view. Mina had worried Katsuki for nothing and gave bad romance advice which resulted in you worrying. Katsuki was going to kill her, she needed to fix this.

"[Y/N], Katsuki loves you a lot, don't worry, okay?"

"Okay, you're probably right, I'm thinking too much. I'm going back to my dorm, try to get some studying in before the test tomorrow."

Despite the pink girl's words you still didn't feel good. As you stood up and walked to her door, you still felt a rush of negative thoughts and emotions. You still felt winded and emotional. You still felt hurt and fearful of your relationship. You felt the same as you did when you walked into her dorm.

You nervously tapped your leg up and down on the ground repeatedly as Mr. Ectoplasm and his copies passed out the scored math tests to the class. You supposed a quirk like that must be very useful as a teacher. You kept making little glances over at where Katsuki was sat and your heart clenched. You felt so ridiculous for suspecting he was cheating. You felt completely horrible. Mina was right, Katsuki loved you. Katsuki loved you and he would never cheat. The simple thought that he would was wrong, yet, this lingering feeling told you he was.

Maybe you should talk to him about it. Maybe you should tell him and express your fears and worries. It was better to talk about things like this, it was better to express yourself rather than locking it up and away, where it could fester and damage your relationship. You looked back over at Katsuki, who caught your glace this time and smiled at you. The smile made you feel sick and guilty for feeling this way. You would tell him how you were feeling after class. The sooner it was out in the open the better.

You turned back to your test sheet and frowned at the result. You got a forty. Forty. After all that studying you had received a forty. You wanted to be mad at Katsuki for not making you study harder, but you had studied with Izuku first hand. Maybe Ectoplasm would let you take a retest. Ectoplasm dismissed you all and you quickly folded up your test paper in half so no one could see your result as you exited. After you packed up your school bag you stood out in the hall and waited for Katsuki.

The nerves in your stomach churned. You didn't want to tell Katsuki the negative thoughts that were running through you, you didn't want to tell him how you had dark thoughts and worries about him cheating, but you had to tell him. You had to put your thoughts and theories to rest. Katsuki came out in the hall with his own test papers in hand and you both began to walk to your next class.

"What'd you score?"

"Got a ninety-two. You?"

"A forty."

You sighed as you clenched the paper in your hand. That was a D. Katsuki was on the fritz. He was trying to take Mina's advice. He wanted to be nice and softer to you like Mina told him he had to be, but he couldn't. You should've studied harder, he should've made you study harder. Katsuki gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to calm himself down before responding.

"You'll do better next time!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

You looked at Katsuki like he grew two heads. This wasn't your boyfriend, and you slightly wondered if Toga had infiltrated UA. He was never kind like this, he wasn't a positive person. He was supposed to yell at you. Tell you to study better. Tell you you needed to get good scores if you were going to become a hero with him.

"It's just a bad test score, not every score can be a baller."

"I failed my test, you're supposed to yell at me. Tell me I'm stupid, tell me to study more. Tell me anything but that fake positivity shit! You are not acting like yourself, are you cheating on me? Is this guilt? Are you guilty?"

"No! Fuck, no!"

Katsuki dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around you. That wasn't how you meant to tell him about the thoughts you were having. You wanted to tell him calmly and respectfully, you hadn't meant to flat out accuse him, your thoughts just need up tumbling out that way. Katsuki's own reassuring words came stumbling out in your ear as he tightly gripped you against him.

"You are perfect and beautiful, and so important to me. I would never cheat on you, I would never fuck up what I have with you. Why would you think that? I don't wanna make you feel that fuckin' way."

"I know that. I know you wouldn't, but you have been acting so weird and different."

"I need to be nice or else I'm going to lose you. I got insecure, but shit, I should be. You are so perfect, and you deserve roses and jewelry and the world. You deserve someone who cuddles you instead of studying and who doesn't make you feel like they're cheating and fuck-"

You pull out of Katsuki's tight grip and cup his cheeks. Your fingers skimmed over his skin tenderly as you stared up at his red eyes and noticed how watery they were. Your heart broke, you thought he was unfaithful but he was really just scared of losing you.

"I don't want you to be soft and nice. You already give me the world Katsuki. You make me study because you care about me. I don't want you to get me roses and Jewelry, I hate it, and I love the stupid little gifts you get me. You don't give me affection and cuddles, but you do other things, like waiting to walk me to class and making me food."

"You don't want me to be nicer?"

"No! Everything you do is already perfect. Everything you do shows me you care about me in your own way. I love the way you are, I don't want you to change."

Katsuki pulled you back into his arms and pressed a rough kiss against your forehead. He was doing everything right. He was better than dumb Deku, and your test score was proof of that. He wasn't going to lose you, Denki and Mina were wrong.

"Come to my dorm tonight, you need to study better dumbass."

It didn't matter that the whole class watched the exchange between you both. It didn't matter that Mina had screwed with your relationship and felt very relieved to have gotten off scot-free, for now at least. It didn't matter because all Katsuki cared about was the fact that he was a great boyfriend, the best. He didn't have to be softer, nicer. He didn't have to change, you liked it. You loved him, the way he was. That was all that mattered.

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herstarburststories · 4 years

Text

I'd die for you, come kill me

Kinktober Day 11: restrained

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader

A/N: This one goes for my good friend followers celebration. So happy for your milestone, @msmarvelouswinchester! Divider by @talesmaniac89.

@stillintheimpala said: i have a fic idea. demon!dean stuck in a chair on handcuffed to a bed with those demon proof handcuffs. he's completely at your mercy. you get to dom him. (I put ropes instead of handcuffs because of the gif)

Prompt: Remember how I said I'd die for you.

Warnings: angry sex, p in v, riding, restraints, power play, smangst, angst, kind of hopefully ending (?), demon!dean acts like demon!dean

“Where is he?”

Sam sucked in a breath, moving his shoulder uncomfortably as he straightened his posture. The youngest Winchester's features contorted into a grimace, and you couldn't tell if it was because of the look on your face or him jarring his dislocated arm. “He's in the dungeon, but Y/N-”

“He isn't himself. I know that. Kinda noticed when he threw me against the wall and said he couldn't wait to rip my throat out with his teeth.” You gave Sam a humorless grin before you gestured to the wound on your shoulder. “This is a good reminder as well.”

“We'll cure him.” Sammy nodded at you, wrapping his words with faith and determination; he was always a believer.

You arched your eyebrows. “Then what are you waiting for?”

You two were still standing in the living room as Dean's howl rushed through the air. He sounded more like a beast than a man, yet he was smack dab in the middle of those polarized states. He was human enough to know where to strike and animal enough to relish in the attack.

Sam's gaze softened on yours.

“I know he hurt you. He hurt both of us, but Dean is my brother. I can do it alone. You don't need to-”

“Sam, he ran away once, and you just got your arm yanked out of your socket. You won't be able to fight him. You need backup,” you interrupted him. Despite your conclusion being completely rational, there was more to it than that, but Sam didn't need to know about it yet. “Besides, it's Dean.”

The hunter glanced at you. Gentle eyes watching your jaw harden, he pressed his lips together and nodded. “Okay.”

Dean's demonic self had been throwing insults like a man feeding his dog shattered glass. He was full of them, not caring about hiding his satisfaction when he hits yours and Sam's weak spots.

A couple of seconds ago, he had called you an easy pussy that saved him the job of having to go out and get some. That display rewarded him with a thicker needle that pierced much deeper than it needed to. The pure human blood spread into his veins as a holy wash, like soap over a flesh wound. Dean growled in pain and went quiet for a while.

Your eyes abandoned the demon for once, directed now to his brother. Sam's earthy brown eyes were drawn in concern, mouth sketched into a frown. His healthy arm was onto his shoulder, obviously physically hurting.

“Sam, go. I can do it. It’s just two more needles. He'll probably pass out once it's done,” you pleaded in an attempt to catch Sam's rational side that always saw the order in chaos. His hazel orbs settled on you, and you knew he didn't want to leave his brother. You can't blame him for that. You didn’t either, but if Dean was in his right mind, he'd want that. And you needed some time alone with this demon version of your boyfriend. “Please.”

You didn’t know if it was something in your cracking voice or if the fact his brother regaining control meant he’d have even harsher words to spit, but when the tall man’s eyes swept from you to his brother and back, he sighed. In that moment, you knew he accepted it.

“If he doesn't pass out…”

“I call you right away. Don't worry, and please take some meds for your pain.” You offered some tenderness to him in the middle of the violence through a lovingly smile. In a matter of seconds, the only traces of Sammy in the room were the boot-clad clamor of his footsteps growing quieter and quieter.

“Now you have me all to yourself, sweetheart. What are you planning to do?”

The lopsided grin was still attached to his face, and those were still his teeth. Still, something about Dean's smile made you want to rip him apart with your nails. How did he let this happen? How did the situation escalate like this? How did everything get so bad so fast?

“Shut up,” you hissed through your teeth, boots clicking on the floor as you approached him. Dean glanced at you shamelessly; the pretty little bruise on your skin proving that he had succeeded in breaking you. It twisted his guts in both good and bad ways — the bittersweet contradiction among lovers.

“Feisty, huh? I always liked that on you. Who would guess that you were a bottom in bed?” Dean appeared to find your fury entertaining as if he relished any emotion he could instigate inside you.

“I said shut up.”

“Or what? You are gonna sting me with a flimsy syringe needle like I did to you with my cock? Go ahead, sweetheart.”

The idiotic nickname burned your insides. As your and Dean's relationship got more serious, he'd stop calling you that. You weren't just a fling or a woman he'd leave the next day, and the Winchester only called you that either sarcastically or during an argument now. Was this how the demon saw you? Just another sweetheart?

Dean smirked at your quietude, poking the bear once again. “What? Demon got that smart tongue of yours? It's embarrassing, really. You get all worked up, pretending to be that tough gal, but you can't hurt me. You didn't even fight back when I tried to kill you. How weak is that? You’ve always been a liability. Just another woman I had to protect to get inside her.”

You warned him, the words coming out more like a groan than anything else: “Shut up!”

Yet, Dean persisted. He had discovered your weakness, and he couldn't wait to see how much you could take. You'd end up giving in to him, thrashing headfirst into a fight, and he'd escape again. The demon was counting on that. “A waste of time, really. At least you had a nice pussy, but I scratched it open. It's useless now, just like you.”

The dismissal in his words laced with the cynical chuckle that left his mouth made you hit your breaking point.

“I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” You grabbed a syringe and stung Dean like a scorpion, right in the jugular. He wanted to set you on fire? Good, you'd make sure he got burnt too. “I said I'd die for you. Remember how I said I'd die for you? And you tried to kill me.” You grunted, throwing the empty needle away. Dean's normally forest green eyes went black as howls of outrage escaped his mouth. The blood of saints that coursed through his body was a good way to either turn the beast into a man again or kill him completely. Knowing this, he screamed and struggled in the chair, as desperate as a rat stuck in a mousetrap. It made you doubt the cure. Perhaps a good thing couldn't save him now, the whispers of sulfur that colored his heart black too intrinsic to eradicate without killing the host. You couldn't bring yourself to care about it now. The demon was suffering, and he deserved it. You wanted your own hurt ricochet back to where it came from: him. “Now you are sitting there talking about me like I'm your bitch or something like that, but I'm not. I can take care of myself, and I don't need you. I chose to stay here.”

Dean blinked, and suddenly everything was in place again. His face softened like it usually did when you two were alone, and an actual smile conquered his features. All the oxygen in your body caught in your throat.

“You're right. You are a strong, independent woman, and I should feel lucky to get myself a keeper like you.” His voice filled the dungeon with light-hearted relief. Your cheeks were hurting as you scooted closer to him. “I missed you so much.”

He was saying all you wanted to tell him the minute he left. Your eyes got glossy, and you threw yourself on his lap, clutching to him like devout patron to her bible. Dean was here. He came back to you.

A quiet gasp of praise left your mouth: “Dean-”

He interrupted whatever you were about to say, replacing your words with a kiss. A sweet one — sweeter than anything you might imagine. It was the kind of kiss shared for two lovers in the dark, recognizing each other’s bodies by touch alone. You, of course, allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of belonging. You shouldn't have. You should never just jump into someone, or you might drown. It's hard to find corpses in a black river.

Yet, your soul was tied to the righteous sinner, so you kept pressing your lips to his while he devoured your mouth softly.

“Sammy doesn't understand, Y/N,” he said. When he pulled away, you nuzzled into his neck. The heated tang to his murmured sentiments remained there, but his voice, less gruff than usual, fooled you. “I finally don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm free. I never thought I'd be happy after that night…” Dean wore the façade, even gulping at the thought. He didn't know if it was because the human blood was slowly coursing into the core of his being, but he wouldn't waste time on it. “But I can now. We can run away together, leave Sam behind. Just me and you.”

What did you expect? He was a demon. The blame was on you for expecting repentance from the ashes of hellfire. This isn't a fairytale where the hero suddenly is hit by true love and everything is solved with the ultimate kiss. This is a hunter’s tale, and there's just one ending for those stories: the prey dying.

You lifted your head. “Dean would never leave Sam behind.”

Dean burst into laughter as if your hope was some sort of funny joke. He adjusted his hips in the chair, smirking at you with cruelty.

“Bet it almost got you. I could see your eyes shining with hope. You were ready to get on your knees and suck my cock. You’d be screaming Dean, Dean, Dean, and inevitably fall for some stupid lies.” He shook his head with disappointment. “You're too easy, Y/N.”

“Who do you think you are?” The indignancy in your tone only drew a malicious grin out of Dean. This was too good. He could feel his cock hardened in his pants. He might fuck you before killing you only to make good use of his time.

“I'm a demon. What about you? Oh, wait! I know the answer to that one.” He licked his lips, savoring the moment. “You're a little-”

Smack.

The palm of your hand met Dean's cheek harshly, transferring some of your anger into a red mark on his right cheek. The eldest Winchester's head was tilted to the side from the impact. He clenched his jaw before turning his glare at you, eyes back in black as he spoke: “You shouldn't have done that.”

Every syllable that left his tongue was imbued with a threatening crimson rage, but you didn't care. Not now.

You weren't scared of him.

“You shouldn't be a demon, but here we are,” you remarked, summoning a smarmy leer and wearing it like one of his flannels. “Shut up. I know you're not my Dean. You are just all he hates in himself wrapped with his skin. You're disgusting, cruel, and selfish.” It didn’t make any sense for your body to be as heated up as it was, but it was. And Dean didn’t care. Fuck him. “You’ve spent so long aiming at our Achilles’ heel that you forgot you have yours too. Stupid.” You chortled, grinding your hips on his. At this point, both your panties and emotional stability were ruined. “Look at you, all hard for the girl basically torturing you with poison, huh?”

“You-” He attempted to speak, to put you down so he can climb over you. You stopped him with a hand inside his pants.

“Language, Dean,” you groaned at him. It wasn't unusual for you and Dean to blow off some steam with sex, either after a fight or a hunt, but, this? It’s a whole new level of fucked. Yet somehow, your pussy didn't seem to mind, and neither did his cock. You got his length free, and his stiffened cock slapped his clothed belly. “I don't wanna hear something that makes me angry because if I get mad, then I won't let you come inside my pretty pussy. Understood?”

He groaned in response, trying to move his hands to show you who the real alpha was here, but the rope kept him in place. Silence lanced through the air because you knew you didn't want to waste time on something as exciting as foreplay; he did not deserve that, and you didn't want this. You just lifted your red skirt and slid your panties to the side. Your pussy swallowed his cock painfully slow.

The demon that ate your lover didn't offer mumbled protests at the fact you were still wearing clothes. Your Dean always tried to get any piece of fabric away because he liked to see all of you. This Dean, though, gulped and glared at you. Pleasure flushed his cheeks only he can’t deny the physical pleasure. It’s clear that, even as a demon, he could never reject the carnal appeal of your body and your sweet, soaked pussy. Hands pinned behind his back with the restraints, you two in the middle of a big demon symbols on the ground, he was completely at your mercy. He was helpless.

Dean bucked his hips to get all of his hardness inside you right way, to show both you and himself that he still had the power here. You barely blinked before moving your hips up, restricting him further entrance into your cunt. Dean was always eager when it came to sex, but you knew this wasn't about just fucking you anymore. You were in control.

Placing your hands on his shoulders, you murmured in an increasingly sultry bite: “I'm the one making the rules here. Take it or leave it.”

“Fucking a demon? That's why you told Sammy to go with all the crap about caring for his arm?” the former hunter remarked. You and he both knew Dean wouldn't — couldn’t, not with half his cock being squeezed by your tightness — leave your pussy, but he still very much had the capacity to bite.

“Unlike you, I worry about the people I love.”

“I don't love,” he snarled, watching you swallow the malcontented lump in your throat. “Hear that? I don't love you.”

“Then at least be useful and fuck me,” you groaned, finally resting wholly in his lap with all of his dick inside of you. Dean whimpered, overthrown by the sensation of your heady tightness encompassing his cock. He tried to break free again, starved to grab your thighs, your ass, any part of you he could get his hands on, but the rope limited his range of motion. The raw polyester and nylon mix around his wrists was a contrast to the warmth of his lap. His eyes closed, blinking only back into wakeful blackness because of your promise disguised as a hissed threat: “No, forget it. I'll be the one fucking you.”

There was something delightfully mercurial about the way you rode Dean. The dungeon once filled by his pained screams had now become the perfect studio for your flexing thighs slapping against his, your breathless moans camouflaging the raw hurt of your heart, and the unique sound of Dean's cock sunk to impossible degrees inside your needy cunt. He leaned in for more.

This was no longer about the sexual release for him. It was for the tiny part of Dean that always craved an order to follow. It was the small piece of him that craved carrying the weight of responsibility heavy on his back like the burden Atlas had to bear. It was the liberation of the heavy chains that held him down since he was a child, even if his hands were — appropriately enough — tied behind his back. As a demon, he didn’t have to worry, and neither did he when submissive to you. For you, it was expelling your revenge on this devilish version of the man you loved. He had it coming.

“I hate you. I hate having to save you. I hate caring about you.” You huffed, nails sinking in his clothed shoulder. The ghost of your touch was enough to make his dick twitch inside you. Tears brimmed in your eyes as the goosebumps rose your spine, and every time you sunk on his cock brought you closer to collapse. All Dean did was to praise your name with a moan. “I hate how good you feel inside me.” You sobbed, increasing your rhythmic and going fast and rougher on his cock. Your walls were tightening around his dick. Your untouched clit rubbed against the fabric, but it didn't matter. This wasn't about pleasure. “I hate that it’s you and not him.” That's not my Dean.

That caught his attention. Dean’s shoulders grew rigid. He was ready to catch a glimpse of warring emotions of hatred and disgust on your face, but he wasn't prepared for the crushingly forlorn refraction of loss and dispair he found there.

The knight of hell should feel satisfied. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? Destroying you, turning the woman the human version of himself loved into a walking catastrophe so you wouldn't dare bring him back.

Apparently, the priorities changed. Maybe the blood was really effective, slowly disintegrating his armor into flesh again. It was the only explanation for all the humanly emotions he was experiencing.

Dean felt the conflict building as if hurting you was physically tearing him apart. His eyes contracted into livid green again, shining like the moon with tears he didn't dare drop. He was still a demon, bratty heart or not.

Yet, there was only so far a man could control himself. His lips were treacherous for your name, echoed more like a plea than anything: “Y/N-”

“Shut up! I don't wanna hear your voice. You said I'm your little bitch, nothing but a whore to you, huh? Guess what, asshole. You are my bitch now, and you’re gonna like it.” The little monster in you hummed happily to your authority, glad to finally punish someone for the incitement of agony inside your guts. You closed your eyes, riding Dean ferociously.

Dean Winchester might have been a cage to your feelings, but at least it was golden.

You said you'd be here. You said you wouldn't leave me. Your thoughts corroded your wearied heart as you tried to fuck them away with Dean's weeping cock. You could feel he was close, and you were constantly hitting your G-spot with eagerness, your sweat and harrowed feelings gushing over. You said I didn't need to leave. You said we'd find a way through this. You lied, you lied, you lied.

I trusted you, and you destroyed me. You hurt me and Sam, and I can't even blame you for it. He knew all your enemies started out as friends. He knew how much it would hurt you if he got the mark. He knew how it would break you if he said those words, demon or not. And you know you can't put this blame on Dean’s shoulders, but you were suffocating and needed fresh air. The sacrificial game wasn’t always a virtuous act. So, you dropped yourself down hard, appreciating the way his cock hit the right spot over and over again. It forced your body to feel good despite your restless mind. I hate you. You made me go crazy. And I miss you.

What was the saying? Man makes the promise, and the demon makes him break it.

Dean's fixated you. He wanted to get free of his cuffs and cup your cheeks, see you lean into his touch so he could wipe away the tears that started to fall and haven't stopped in minutes. He wanted to tell you he was here, not completely, but he was here. He wanted to apologize and make it better, but he didn't. His white skin was burning red because of how hard he was trying to move his hands, hair moving by your movements and his. The semi-human groaned like the remainder of the beast clutching his strings when he hit his orgasm and spread his seed inside you. You whined like a broken toy as you came all over his cock.

It felt good, for a while. It was nice, feeling good.

You stayed there a little more, gaining control over yourself while he softened inside of you. Dean was doing the same in an attempt to stifle his human emotions from surfacing. He wasn't going to be weak anymore. He couldn't be because for once in his life, he hadn’t hated himself.

You coughed, using the chair to hoist yourself to your feet. His cum dripped from your pussy, dampening his still-clothed thigh. You sniffed, grimacing a little when you noticed that your face wasn't wet with sweat. You’d been crying.

That only made you madder at yourself.

“Fuck it,” you groaned, putting his dick back into his pants before zipping him up.

Dean smirked in a final attempt to turn the table and get on your nerves again. “That's what we just did.”

You didn't waste more of your heart on him. Taking the last needle, you sunk the devil into his sharp skin and pressed the plunger with all the fervor of pulling a gun's trigger. He screamed like the rush of humanity flowing into him was a shot to the heart.

Your legs were trembling when you threw the object away and hugged yourself, focused on Dean's fragile body in front of you.

He looked down, eyes shutting a few times as if he was waking up before lifting his head to look at you.

“Y/N?” His voice was back to its gruff drag, but it was carrying a strand of vulnerability and care that he had only ever directed at you. Dean frowned, confusedly watching you and the place around you both, not to mention himself. “Y/N, what happened?”

He didn't remember anything. He didn't remember the terrible things he’d done. He didn't remember the words said.

You gulped, the back of your hand pressed against your wet cheeks. “I'm going to get Sam.”

The demon may have gotten teary-eyed, but the human Dean was the one letting the tears slide down his cheeks as you turned around and left, almost running to get away from him. He didn't even know why.

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

Conversation

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Something really bad happened.

Did you just get your period all over yourself?

This isn't my blood.

Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?

I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.

I don't care if you can walk.

How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?

No one wants to see that at a party.

This is super embarrassing.

I didn't even know I was pregnant.

You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."

Is that a baby? Amazing.

I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.

Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.

How do you know she's dead?

These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.

I have a colonic at 10

Life is a class system.

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.

Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?

I hate sororities, and I hate you.

First of all, I'm not a lesbian.

You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.

No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.

Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.

I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.

Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

I would honestly rather not have you around.

The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.

It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.

What is that skirt?

Your organization might want to find a lawyer.

I'm a pretty smart cookie.

I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.

I don't fight fair.

I am sentimental.

Look, girls are vicious, okay?

I don't have any of my own memories.

Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.

Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.

Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.

This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.

Hold this. It's too heavy.

You didn't knock!

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.

Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.

She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.

All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.

Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?

God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.

What fresh hell is this?

I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.

Stop fake crying.

Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.

My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.

Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.

But you said you loved me.

I do sort of love you.

I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.

Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out

We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.

Pretty girls, like you and me.

That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

Ugh! You burned the milk!

Next time, I get you fired, or worse.

Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.

I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.

I had to get a restraining order.

I tend to get a bit passionate about things.

Look, you intentionally led me on.

You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.

Enter, ye who dare.

I love a creepy collage.

It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.

I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.

How about I just drown you in it?

Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!

You don't die from getting your face burned off.

There's a dead woman in your kitchen.

I'm going to the authorities.

That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.

You're an awful person.

Who wants cocktails?

How did my life turn into this?

Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?

I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.

You're awful in bed. Are you aware?

I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.

I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.

You loaded a dead body into a freezer.

What are you proposing?

I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.

You need eyes on the inside.

I don't know what to do with the body.

Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?

You are so lame, you know that?

God, I love all that death stuff.

Show me the body.

Show me the dead body.

This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.

I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.

What does this oath even mean?

I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.

Wait, what about STDs?

Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.

You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.

When were you in Mexico?

You know what, forget the blood oath.

I can't stay silent!

I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.

Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.

I want you to be one of my minions.

It's the gateway to the top of the heap.

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.

Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?

Can we talk for real for a second, please?

I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?

Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.

Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.

You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!

Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.

I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?

I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?

What can you tell us about the murder?

There's an exodus right now.

The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.

I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.

We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.

Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.

I'm willing to help in any way possible.

You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!

Why are you trying to terrify us?

Can I call you Mom?

I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.

I thought you'd be cool with it.

I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.

Okay, fine. Just stop talking.

You are so friggin' creepy!

Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.

I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.

Wait, so you don't have a gun?

I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.

What good are you?

Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.

Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.

If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.

Don't you wonder what's in there?

People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?

I'm gonna have to break in.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?

Can you stop talking?

You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.

Please try to understand the situation I'm in.

I don't give a rat's ass about your job.

You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.

You're a snoopy little bugger.

Whose bloody clothes are those?

Supposedly, it was a super fun party.

We're all gonna pay for this.

I think it's all crap. Just a myth.

What happened to the baby?

Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?

I'm gonna choke you out.

There's a serial killer on the loose.

Please don't say you want to choke me.

I'd love having sex with your corpse.

I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.

Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.

No! I don't need a man to protect me.

How could I have wasted this much time?

Is my self-esteem really that low?

I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.

I need you to leave right now!

You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.

Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?

I'll leave your wiener alone.

Where are your hands?

He has a huge boner!

Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?

Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.

Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.

I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.

You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.

Excuse me, I broke up with you!

I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.

Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.

Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?

You can't deal with how hot I am.

Sorry, I just broke up with you.

Can you please put some clothes on?

Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.

Can I just get you a robe or something though?

So you're saying I'm the killer?

Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.

God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.

What if we stapled their earlobes?

Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?

I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.

I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?

I actually think that's illegal.

I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.

I trust you'll consider my offer.

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.

You're just, like, super attractive.

Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.

It's better than losing your life.

I have a thing for playlists.

Someone's got a poo belly.

Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.

Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.

I heard screaming.

So you think the serial killer is still up there?

Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!

You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?

This is freakin' terrifying!

The killer is in the house! You hear me?

I need my damn inhaler.

What, am I supposed to be scared?

Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.

We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!

Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.

That was a tragic accident.

I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.

I'm not some crazed psychopath.

Maybe you're the killer.

I will not be put on trial.

The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.

You want to go first?

I banged, like, 50 chicks.

What took you so long?

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

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spoonful-of-fixations · 3 years

Note

Hey! Can I get a matchup for Danganronpa & Death Note plz ? I'm a straight girl that takes interest in a lot of things, I like to learn but not in a very academic manner and want to be a polyglott – for the moment I am fluent english and french, next is japanese and arabic cause why not ? I like sports, especially basket-b, videos/cards games, anything that is a game maybe lol ? music, writting, drawing, food, caramel and chips are so additive T-T ugh spicy food psychology and memes ofc.

My personality type is entp, i am independent, polyvalent/moody, honest, sassy, playful but even if at first glance I look intimidant despite being somewhat charismatic to people and dumb I am surprisingly smart and funny ! Top students here hehe and official clown of my school, my family and the town, next is the country.

I am quite prideful and fear being weak and boredrom. I am chaotic good, competitive, ambitious and scarily serious when I want to reach my goals lol also protective of my few friends and the shy/reclused one Beside that I can be interested by anything really, like nowadays who care about flower language ? Me. and even if it doesn't suit the image people have of me : my style is streetwear, i am 5'8. Doesn't that last one sounded pretty arrogant lol ? I am pretty rebelious, intuitive and creative. Low key tsundere ugh but I can be flirty ! Just not comfortable with feelings and physical touch but I don't mind someone more at ease.

Ideal date would be at beach, arcades or just something like walking in town or a beautiful and isolated spot. Even a study date is fine ! I think that my ideal partner shouldn't restrain myself to express my opinion and that in a way I should find something fascinating from them.

I match you with,,,

Mello!

Oh boy does he have fun with you

Not in a bad way or anything, he just thinks its fun to tease you

Though, he can be quite the tsundere himself, so don’t worry about not having opportunities to get him back for it

Because you definitely will have the chance to tease him back

He will not hesitate to insist that hes taller, despite you two being the same height

Its not even important, but he insists. He acts like it gives him more power or something.

He’s grown acustom to to having video games around, due to Matt, so dont be afraid to force him to play with you

Actually, please do, he acts like he doesn’t like them but he does

Be prepared, he can be hella competitive with it once hes in it, though

If you win, gets all pouty,, please make fun of him for it

He believes the languages you know, and want to learn, is a really useful skill

It’s not that your other interests aren’t useful or interesting to him, because they are, but this one in particular intrigues him

And also because he only believes “useful” things are worth the time, and it’s an actually useful thing to know, but yknow

Hes not big on physical affection, himself, hes better with words of affirmation

Giving and recieving!

Though hes in fact terrible at trying to praise anyone, since it’s just not his normal way of going about anything, especially you cuz you’re you

He puts you higher than anyone else, of course he’s gonna get awkward around you. He’s trying his best tho!

Tl;Dr, Yall are too smart for each other. Just a lil bit.

Hajime Hinata!

Boy howdy, he’s enamored with you

Just absolutely fascinated with all the things you’re good at

He especially loves all the games you’re into, and your writing, though

Your writing is calming to read, since he knows it comes from you, it helps him get to know you better without having to talk to you

And obviously games are something you can do together, whether they be video games or board games, it’s enjoyable to him

He’s not too quick to speak about his feelings, himself, so if that’s an area you’re uncomfortable with, don’t even worry!

There are other ways to express and discuss how you feel without directly speaking about it, and you two have found basically every one, so it tends to be fine

He wants nothing more than for you to be yourself, so he’d never try and hold you back

Even if you’re interested in seventeen things at once and wanna tell him about all of them, he still just thinks it’s the most interesting thing in the world

You being you is what makes him care, so of course he’s going to want you to be completely yourself no matter what

Your humor doesn’t really get to him at first, he’s always too nervous around you to even realize you’re joking

But after a while, once he gets used to it, he thinks the jokes you come up with and the way you make everyone laugh is so special

He’s just too serious sometimes, and tends to overthink so much that humor goes right over his head

Speaking of seriousness, he tries to be serious like,, 99% of the time, so if you get overly serious when you’re stuck on something you wanna get done, he’s all for matching that energy

As long as it’s benefiting you, and it’s something he can handle, he’ll probably go for it

Tl;Dr, He’s a little whipped. That’s all.

#I hope this is good!#I’m a lil unsure about it #as always if you want me to rewrite it or anything I’m down #danganronpa matchup #danganronpa #hajime hinata #hajime x reader #hajime headcanons #sdr2 #death note matchup #death note #mello death note #bun bun writes #matchup

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nowplayingblog-main · 5 years

Text

Guns Don’t Kill People

read on AO3

Written for @irondadbingo

Tony woke up to a bright light in his eyes, surrounded by darkness. He had heard about the light at the end of the tunnel just before you died, but he somehow felt that if he was dead, or even dying, that he shouldn't be in this much pain. Even if the last thing he remembered was his own missile blowing up in his face.

He turned his head, and the room he was in came into focus. Or maybe “room” was too kind of a term. The walls were rough, uneven, wet rock, and the furniture that made up the area was thrown together, rickety and dirty. In the center of the room was a steel beam that Tony hoped to God wasn't holding up the place. At the other end of the room there was a sketchy looking bunk bed, with a boy - maybe in his then years - laying lopsidedly on the top bunk, staring lazily at the ceiling, as though he we're on drugs.

Turning his attention away from the room, Tony felt around his face, feeling a tube coming out from his right nostril. In a moment that was probably not his best moment of judgment, Tony pulled on the tube, which caused a burning sensation in his nose, and triggered his gag reflex as the tube brushed past the back of his throat. He stopped, but that felt even worse. Tony continued to pull out what he now realized was a feeding tube until it was completely out - gagging the entire time.

He threw the offensive tube across the room, and sat up in his cot, trying to move away to walk around the room, get a better sense of his surroundings, but he was stopped by a tugging sensation in his chest, which sparked extreme, crippling pain that Tony hadn't been fully aware of. Tony looked down at the stained bandages underneath his shirt. From underneath those bandages there were cables that led to a car battery at the side of the cot he was once lying on. He wrapped his hand around the cords, ready to tug.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” The boy on the bunk said tiredly, as though he were half asleep. Tony looked up and saw that the boy was staring at him, his pupils dilated. He looked as though he wasn't truly there.

He turned his attention back to his bandaged chest. The pain underneath them had become unbearable. He tore away the bandages to reveal a monstrosity - a hunk of metal in his chest, surrounded by red, irritated skin.

Tony fainted.

The next time Tony woke up, the kid was cooking something over a fire, which was shabbily built near the center of the room. The kid seemed less delirious than he had been earlier, but there were moments when his hands paused, or he would catch himself leaning too far to one side.

He sat up, and the tugging at his chest reminded of the presence of the metallic monstrosity in his chest.

Tony looked up at the kid. “What did you do to me?”

The kid met his eyes, and Tony could see his pupils were still slightly smaller than normal, especially for someone sitting in a dark, cave like room.

“I didn't do anything to you,” he had an American accent, which surprised Tony, and his words were slurred. “I'm not a doctor. But I did give them the idea. It's an electromagnet. You were hit with a lot of shrapnel, and it was going to pierce your heart. They got out as much as they could, and whatever was left in there is being stopped by that magnet.”

“I'm sorry, are you high right now?” Tony asked brashly.

The kid went cross-eyed for a moment, and leaned a little too far to the left, catching himself before he could actually fall over. He looked sheepishly back up at Tony. “It's not my choice.”

Before Tony could ask what he meant by that, there was a pounding at the door, strains of Arabic filtering through.

The kid stumbled to his feet, placing his hands behind his head, “Get up.”

Tony remained seated, eyes trained on the door.

“What are you, crazy? Get up! Do as I do!”

Tony stood up, placing his hands behind his head, mimicking the boy, just as the armed terrorists barged through the door.

There were seven or eight men, each armed with what Tony recognized as Stark Industries issued weapons. Then, another man walked through. Clearly the leader.

He walked up to the kid first, speaking in Arabic. Tony couldn't understand a word he was saying, but he spoke with a praising tone of voice, but in a somewhat condescending tone.

After a while, the man turned to Tony, continuing to speak in Arabic.

“He says welcome, Tony Stark, the greatest mass murderer in the history of America.” The kid translated, which stunned Tony for a moment. “He is honored.”

The terrorist leader cut him off continuing to speak in his foreign tongue.

“He says he wants you to build him a missile - the Jericho missile, which you were demonstrating earlier.”

The man pulled out a black and white printed picture of the Jericho.

“That one,” the kid supplied, somewhat needlessly.

Tony looked up at the man, eyeing the armed men behind him.

“I refuse”

The torture that followed would haunt Tony for the rest of his life.

The next day, Tony was being led outside. It was blindingly bright, but when his eyes focused, he saw several of his weapons, as well as assorted parts and pieces from what Tony guessed were cars and explosives.

The kid was there. He was being restrained my a much larger man, his arms pinned behind his back. He had guns trained at his head at all times. The poor kid seemed to be taking this all in stride, as though he was used to it.

The leader was speaking again, and Tony looked to the kid for a translation, feeling bad about the position they were in.

“He says, what do you think?”

Tony grimaced. “I think he has a lot of my weapons.”

The leader spoke again. The kid translated. “As you can see, they have everything you need to build the Jericho. You will write a list of materials, and get to work right away. When you're done they will set you free.”

Tony glanced around at the armed men around him. Some of them stood on top of the rocky peaks. One of them stood out among the rest, and Tony suspected he was the leader of all of them, even the guy he was talking to right now.

He held his hand out and shook it with his captor.

“No he won't.” Tony said, mostly to the kid.

“No. He won't.” The kid agreed.

That night, Tony was laying on the bottom of the rickety bunk bed. He thanked his lucky stars that the kid appeared to weigh no more than a feather - any heavier may have caused the whole thing to capsize.

The kid was more alert now than Tony had ever seen him. He was sitting upright on the bunk. And Tony could tell by his positioning that he was staring at the door.

“You got a name, kid?”

“Peter,” he said softly, his voice wavering, but it wasn't slurred.

Tony hummed in acknowledgement. “I'd introduce myself, but -”

“I know who you are.”

Tony nodded silently.

“It's scary isn't it?” Peter said. “How many weapons they have. How many parts.”

“Yeah,” Tony said softly, “they weren't supposed to be the ones who had them.”

“Have you ever heard the saying, 'guns don't kill people, people do’?”

“Yeah, what's your point, kid?”

“You make the guns,” Peter explained, “and once they're out there, you can give them to the people you want to have them, you can guard them, but somehow, some way, they're going to end up in the hands of the people you don't want to have them. And the guns don't know any better. They won't just stop working. They just do as they're told.” He took a breath.

“I don't quite understand what you're trying to tell me,” Tony said passively.

“That's okay. Maybe someday you will.”

There was pounding at the door.

“What's going on?” Tony demanded. Standing up and putting his hands behind his head. “They said they wouldn't come until tomorrow.”

“They're not coming for you,” the kid assured him, climbing off the top bunk.

The armed men crowded into the room, and grabbed Peter by his arms, pinning them behind his back, tying them too tightly with thick, dirty rope. Those who weren't busy tying the poor kid up had their guns aimed at his head.

“Woah, woah!” Tony exclaimed, “What's your deal, what are you doing to him?!”

A few of the gunman swiveled toward him when he spoke, turning their guns on him

“It's fine Mr. Stark,” Peter assured him. “They have you here to build weapons. I'm here for the same reason.”

Tony had no idea what that meant, but just as soon as the had entered, the terrorists left the cave, locking the door behind them. Tony was alone.

Tony had managed at get a couple of hours of sleep between his tossing and turning, the pain in his chest, and his worry about a teen-aged stranger keeping him awake.

When the sun had finally started to shine through the small, thin window near the ceiling, the door finally opened again. Tony stood up, placing his hands behind his head like the kid taught him, and once again armed men came into their room, Peter hanging limply from where they held him by his arms. They dumped him onto the ground, and promptly left.

The poor kid was covered with his own blood, which oozed sluggishly from small cuts littering his body. The back of his right hand was bruised, and displayed a puncture wound above his vein. His arms were covered in puncture wounds, really.

His breathing was ragged, and Tony knew that being thrown into his stomach wasn't doing him any favors. He slowly moved toward the kid, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you with me, Peter?” He asked gently.

The kid groaned, the sound trailing off into a whimper.

“I'm gonna move you to the bed, okay? It's probably not a good idea for you to stay on the floor like this.

“M'fine,” Peter insisted, his words slurred so severely it took Tony a money to realize he was speaking.

“No, you really aren't.”

“M'Okay...really...I've...done this....'fore” the kid turned his head weakly to one side, his eyelids only half open.

“C'mon kid,” Tony insisted, hoisting him from underneath his armpits. “Up you go.”

Peter whimpered and whined as Tony staggered over to the bed. It wasn't hard to carry him, the kid was pretty light, but Tony had an awkward hold on him due to his own gaping injury in his chest, and he had to stop every so often to go back and shift his car battery so that he wouldn't get disconnected.

Once the kid was on the bed, Tony could tell he was pretty out of it, not to mention exhausted.

“Why are they doing this to you, kid?” Tony tried to ask, “What do they want from you.”

Peter's reply was too slurred for Tony to discern. He lifted one of the kids eyelids and saw that his pupils were blown.

“They're keeping you on pretty heavy drugs, aren't they?” Tony removed his hand from the boys face, resolving to wait to ask him in the morning.

“From what I can tell they're trying to create some kind of super soldier serum,” Peter told him the next time Tony asked. He was sitting up in the bunk, since Tony wanted him to rest, even though Peter insisted this wasn't the first time this had happened. “They have some kind of notes from way back in the 40s or something -”

“Steve Rogers,” Tony realized. “Captain America.”

“Well, it didn't work at first,” the kid said. “They injected me with something, but it didn't do much - nothing bad, but nothing good either, at least for them. I kept feeling dizzy, and passing out. Then they got these new notes, a whole lot more modern. From what I can tell, they're coming from some company in America. They only started recently.

“They injected me with this new serum. It was crazy. Right after they injected it, it was like my senses we're going haywire. It was so bright, and loud, and everything I felt was so intense and uncomfortable. They thought it was a fluke at first, but when I woke up the next morning it was like everything evened out. It was still intense, but I'd adjusted. And I was stronger. Way stronger. I fought back, and I almost escaped. Now they keep me on the drugs to make sure I don't try anything. I also think my metabolism increased, because they started giving me less food, to keep my strength low.”

Tony listened to the kid as he cooked they're extremely low rations over the open fire. “so they want me to build them weapons, and they want you to become their weapon.”

“Sort of,” Peter shrugged, “I get the feeling I'm just their guinea pig. They're just using me to perfect their formula, before they give it to their more willing soldiers.”

“How did they get ahold of you?”

“I was visiting with my parents on a business trip. They're geneticists, and they were here doing research,” Peter's eyes glazed over, “They shot at the car, broke the windows. My father was killed in the driver's seat, and my mother was shot a moment later. I kept waiting. Waiting to die. When they broke into the car I thought they were going to kill me. But instead they just knocked me out and I woke back up here.”

Peter looked up at him with apologetic eyes. “They had your weapons, Mr. Stark.”

Tony focused on the kids dirty, worn down sneakers, sitting beside the bunk, not willing to meet the kids eyes. “I'm sorry.”

“It wasn't your fault.”

“I made the weapons,” Tony insisted.

“It's not like that,” Peter countered.

Tony decided to change the subject. “And what are they gonna do to you when they're done?”

Peter looked him in the eye. “Kill me, I would think.”

Tony met his gaze. “I won't let that happen.”

“Why?” The kid asked. “You hardly know me. Besides, you've got your own life at stake.”

“I don't have to know you,” Tony said. “You're a kid. You have so much more to live for than just this. You deserve a chance to live.”

“Mr. Stark, with all due respect, I don't have any reason to stay alive, my parents are dead. There's nothing left for me. Do you even have a plan to get out of here?”

Tony looked up, eyeballing one of the camera he had noticed we're stationed around the room.

“We'll see.”

Later that day, the cave was crowded with people carrying things inside. Tony was barking orders, Peter standing close by translating as fast as he could.

Soon the workspace was set up to. Tony's liking, well lit and equipped with everything he needed. There once open and large room was suddenly full of Stark Industries weapons and mechanics.

Once everyone had filed out of the cave, Tony began to work, sketching out blueprints for his big project - as well as a smaller one, one he would need to start working on as soon as possible. Glancing over, he caught Peter staring at the Stark Industries logo on one of the missiles. He looked like he wasn't really there.

“Kid,” Tony called, causing Peter to jump, snapping out of his reverie “Come make yourself useful.”

Peter cautiously came over toward him. Tony picked up a long tube - a missile. The kid stopped walking.

“Relax, they took out the explosives before they gave them to me. They're crazy, but not stupid. Now watch.”

Tony very meticulously and carefully broke apart the missile extracting what he needed. Until finally he pulled out a small piece metal with his tweezers.

“Okay, we don't need this,” Tony threw scrap pieces over his shoulder.

“What's that?” The kid asked.

“Palladium,” Tony said. “About .15 grams of it. I need at least 1.6, so why don't you start breaking down the other eleven.”

The kid was actually a very good helper. When he wasn't drugged up to his eyeballs he had remarkably steady hands, and he clearly knew how to break stuff apart the right way.

“I used to do this all the time, back at home,” Peter had explained. “I would get old broken computers from the thrift store, break them down and rewire them. I made some pretty cool stuff, or at least I liked to think so.”

Tony had waited for moment when Peter was more aware to have him heat up the palladium in the crucible and pour it into the sand mold Tony had constructed. Tony couldn't do it himself, since he had to hold onto his car battery.

“Careful,” he warned. “We only got one shot at this.”

“If you stop psyching me out,” the kid countered, “I might be more steady.”

Despite their banter, Peter had successfully poured it into the mold, and the next morning Tony pulled out a freshly made ring of palladium. By that point the poor kid had returned from one of his torture sessions and was the equivalent of a vegetable lying on their bunk.

Tony got to work, installing all the pieces, soldering and wiring, until his finished product whirred to life, glowing a faint blue in front of him.

Peter materialized over his shoulder, and it was at that point Tony noticed how much time had gone by.

“What's that?” The kid spoke in an awed whisper.

“It's a miniature ARC reactor. I've got a bigger one at home, powering my workshop.” Tony explained. “This one will keep the shrapnel out of my heart.”

“What does it generate?”

“If my math is correct - and it always is - about three gigajoules per second. Enough to power my heart for 50 lifetimes.” Tony turned and made eye contact with Peter. “Or something big for 15 minutes.”

The kid looked at him with wary eyes. “What are you planning?”

Tony stood up, leading the kid over to his blueprints, flattening them out to show him his other project - his much bigger project.

“Woah,” the kid breathed.

Tony wasn't sure how much time had passed before he was almost completely done with his project. He had about a week of work left to do, when once again there was a pounding on the door.

He and the kid exchanged nervous glances. It wasn't anywhere near time for Peter to be taken away again. They stood, hands behind their heads.

Man flooded the room, all armed with guns - no surprise. What was different this time was that the old leader, the one Tony had grown used to seeing, wasn’t there. Instead, another man took charge, a man Tony remembered from his one trip to the outside world since being imprisoned here.

“Relax,” The man said.

Tony and Peter tentatively let their hands fall to their sides. The man circled them, and began examining Tony’s blueprints. Tony’s heart leapt in fear. He doubted than man would be able to piece together what he was making, but still, it set him on edge.

“The bow and arrow was once the pinnacle of weapons technology. It allowed the great Genghis Khan to rule from the Pacific to the Ukraine,” The man gave up trying to make sense of the blueprints. “Today, whoever has the latest Stark weapons rules these lands. Soon it will be my turn...”

The man turned to Peter, and started having a conversation with him, no longer talking in English, so Tony couldn’t follow along. Suddenly, Peter was forced to his knees, and his head was shoved down onto an anvil. Tony’s heart raced, unsure what to do. He didn’t want to let the kid get hurt, but he knew trying to help him might make things worse. The man picked up a set of Tony’s tongs, using them to remove a hot coal from the fire, and started maneuvering it towards the kids head, still shouting at Peter in a foreign tongue.

“What do you want, a delivery date?” Tony asked stepping forward to try and help the kid against his better judgment. The armed men quickly trained their guns on him, shouting words of warning, on Tony stopped, raising his hands in surrender. He looked around, trying to think of something that might help them. He looked to the man who was still holding the hot coal with his tongs, too close to the kid’s face for comfort.

“I need him,” Tony insisted. “He’s a good assistant.”

The air was still and tense. The room became so silent that Tony could hear Peter trying to take deep, calming breaths. Finally the man dropped the burning coal, signaling to his men to let Peter go.

“You have until tomorrow,” He warned, “to build my missile.”

Then they left.

Thankfully, the kid wasn’t dragged away for experiments again, which let them work more efficiently on the suit throughout the night. What would have taken a week was now being done in one night.

“What did they want?” Tony asked while hammering at the metal chest plate to give it shape.

“They’re onto you,” Peter warned, working on the wires and electrical work. “They kept asking what you were really building. I told them that you were working very hard on the Jericho, but it was very complex.”

“We need to get this done before sunrise,” Tony decided. “Otherwise they’ll come too soon and we won’t have a chance.”

By the time the light behind their small window had begun to turn orange like the morning, Peter was helping Tony into his suit, and they waited for the data from a small, old computer to load so that they could power it up.

“Say it again,” Peter prompted.

“41 steps straight ahead, 16 steps from the door, fork right, 33 steps, turn right,” Tony rattled off.

Peter took a shaky breath and nodded.

“Hey,” Tony said, trying to sound as calm as possible, “It’s gonna be fine.”

Peter nodded again. “Say it again.”

Tony knew it at this point, but he repeated it so that Peter could feel better.

“Almost at 100%,” Peter reported.

“Okay, remember than plan, kid. Stick to the plan. Remember your checkpoints, and make sure everything is clear before you follow me, okay?” Tony looked Peter dead in the eye, and the kid gave him another shaky nod. “It’ll be fine, It’ll -”

There was banging at the door. Peter gave a shaky gasp looking fearfully at the door. There was shouting.

“Say something to them,” Tony prompted.

“They’re speaking Hungarian,” Peter said. “I don’t know how to speak Hungarian.”

“Speak Hungarian,” Tony pressed, “Just say something in Hungarian.”

The kid’s eyes were wide with terror, and he loudly called out a couple of wavering words. It didn’t appear to work however, because the door was opened.

There was a loud ban, and both Peter and Tony felt the wave of the explosion that had been a trap that they had set on the door. It was supposed to be how they got out of here, but it was too soon.

“Okay, times up kid, we gotta go.” Tony moved to disconnect his suit.

“No!” Peter shouted, “You need more time -”

“Kid, we don’t got time, we need to make our move, now!”

“You stay here and wait for it to power up,” Peter said. “I can buy you a couple of minutes.”

Then, the kid ran to one of the bodies of the men who had been at the door, picking up one of their guns, then he ran out the door.

“Kid!” Tony yelled. “Kid! Stick to the plan! Stop!”

After several agonizing minutes of waiting, the loading bar on the computer reached 100%. The lights flickered, before the eventually powered off. Tony disconnected himself from the cables, and maneuvered the suit out of the cave, through the hole where the door had once stood.

Tony found the kid near the mouth of the cave, laying over a pile of sandbags, bleeding and panting. Tony had successfully picked off everyone inside the cave, and seeing that it was safe, he knelt by the kid and raised the helmet.

“Kid, c’mon, we have a plan and we’re gonna stick to it.”

The poor kid moaned in pain, whimpering when Tony rolled him over. He was bleeding profusely from his stomach. Tony could tell he had been shot. Peter let out agonized shot as Tony pulled one of the kid’s hands over the wound.

“Keep pressure on that, okay? I’m gonna deal with those guys out there, then I’m gonna come back, and we’re gonna get out of here okay?”

Peter whimpered. “- hurts, it hurts. Mr. Stark. Please. I don’t wanna die.”

“Shh,” Tony soothed. “You’ll be fine. Just put pressure on that wound and I’ll be back in a few minutes to get you, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

Peter nodded, pressing down on the wound, he yelled from the pain.

“Shh,” Tony soothed. “I’ll be right back, okay kid?”

He closed the mask and made his way outside.

Just as Tony had killed all of his captors, the suit lost power. He shed the heavy metal and took of the protective extra layers he had worn underneath of it so he wouldn’t get dehydrated too quickly.

He raced back to the kid, much more mobile now that he didn’t have the suit on. Remarkably, Peter had managed to sit up, and the wound underneath his hand was somewhat healed.

“The experiments,” Peter explained. “They didn’t drug me last night, so I’m stronger now, and I can heal quicker.”

“Yeah, but it still isn’t good that there’s still a bullet in there,” Tony said. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

When Rhodey found them with the air force helicopters while they braved the desert, Tony had never been more relieved.

#fanfiction #iron man #spiderman #peter parker #tony stark #irondad #spiderson #irondadbingo

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ramjam · 5 years

Text

Content warning for discussion of suicide/hospitals.

I think I'm just going to keep opening up about these things since talking about the positive ends of it makes me feel better. Like I've said before (when I shared the story about how an interaction I had with two strangers from school after my last suicide attempt changed my life), I think I want to help be rid of the stigma people aren't permitted to share personal stories about these topics.

I think I just have a lot of experience in my life and I know some of the stuff I have to share has helped people feel better.

Anyways, flatly put, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life until I tried-- and failed-- to end it. But it isn't something I even realized until recently. Since, I've been thinking about how directly correlated my body's inability to let itself die actually brought me to a clearer purpose and some kind of chance.

It's not a short story, but I'll get to it. Some background is needed.

I've been inpatient three times for mental health issues (suicide, being afraid of myself, and then suicide again.) My experience with psychiatric wards has probably been better than most, but they're absolutely abysmal. Underfunded, improperly staffed, re-traumatizing children and teens by restraining or drugging them because it's easier to do that than deal with their symptoms. There are some sounds you can't forget, hearing the horrified begging from another room is one of them. I've heard stories of even worse.

You're punished for trying to connect/empathize with the other kids while you're there, but then isolated by the adults who aren't trained and don't care. There's a lot of stuff people don't know about unless they've been in one.

There was an instance in my first stay after the staff found out me and another girl were gay, where they tried isolating us. She stood up for me after a nurse laid her hand upon my wrist for trying to hand the girl a milk carton, and was sent to the hallway alone for the day. She cried all day and we were instructed not to look or talk to her. To not give her help.

I was vocal about my distaste for the practices of the staff, for their negligence. I'd break the rules and do things to make the new kids more uncomfortable, I tried to talk to that girl when they told me not to. If an 8 year old girl needed a hug because she missed her mother, I'd give her one. The staff wasn't having it, they upped my medication until I was nearly a zombie so that I wouldn't keep acting out.

My last stay, I confronted a staff member on how she treated me coldly. I asked her why. She told me she couldn't stand the way I talked back and gave people attitude. I told her it's true I have that problem, but she needs to remember what her job is and where she's working. That my issues don't excuse the way they make me act, but she's a caretaker who should be trying navigate the symptoms of troubled kids. The solution isn't to turn her back like a child on the playground. And if she can't understand something that simple, she shouldn't be around children, let alone in the psychiatric ward with them. I shouldn't be the one holding her hand towards basic etiquette.

There were good things, however. Some staff made things less miserable, the few who cared. My experiences, despite how bad, felt better because of even one person trying to actually help. I have fond memories.

Every Wednesday and Thursday, two women would come in. One day for art therapy, the other for music therapy. It was my first encounter with expressive therapy. I didn't know that was a profession.

When I graduated the following year, I gave up on my art career. I wasn't sad at the time, I stopped self-harming, decided to skip college, get a part-time job, and live a practical life. I got my first job, and life was finally moving forward again. But, I couldn't handle the emotional strain, I barely made it a week. I devastated myself, and did a full plunge. 6 months of self-improvement thrown to the wayside. I was now truly purposeless, I had to go to college next year in order for my mom not to kick me out. But I already gave up, so I had no idea what to do.

I threw myself into relapses, I tore my entire life down, destroyed my relationships, I self-destructed. Once everything fell apart, I decided I either needed to die, or I needed to rebuild. I chose to rebuild. But not reluctantly this time.

And I've been doing it. I don't like when people say someone is like "brand new." I've always been me, the person I used to be I can't erase and wouldn't want to. But it's like I've shed my skin. I'm happy again, I've been clean for 3 1/2 years, I feel in control of my life.

I'm starting my third year of college now. I coasted through it, only doing it for the sake of not getting kicked out. It's a thoughtless nuisance, just reminding me of giving up on my childhood dreams and then failing myself again. It's evidence of how stuck in time I am, I don't feel like an adult.

I finally probed myself, the kind of person I am, my ideals, and what I'm good at. I needed to see a future, of any kind. My older sister-- who is a therapist-- has tried helping me not be so aimless.

I remembered expressive therapy. I remembered being inpatient. The way I like to help people, the way I wanted to make things in the system change. I remembered the woman who came in every Wednesday, I imagined myself as her, working inside and being there to make a bad environment a more positive place.

Two suicide attempts because of feeling purposeless, punishing myself for the same. Failing to die brought me to what I feel like I need to do. Did it happen for a reason, then?

If I knew that, maybe I wouldn't have been so angry for being someone who can't lay down and die. I'm reminded of something my friend Chance said the other day, about how there's things to be gained by being open to being adaptable. I am a survivor, I'm too stubborn. But I don't hate that anymore. I finally have something to work towards again. I've never seen a future for me before. It's like I was given a second chance.

#long post #hospitals cw #suicide cw #self harm cw #kris.txt

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Buster & Junior

Buster: I know this is a busy time but you have to make some to have a convo with Rio Junior: Why? Is she okay? Has something gone wrong? Buster: Short answer, no. And she isn't okay Buster: It's not medical though Junior: Thank God Junior: but, what is it then? Buster: The something that's gone wrong is her going along with this Buster: She doesn't want to and she isn't coping Buster: But she'll never tell you herself and will probably kill me for telling you Junior: She's having regrets? Junior: I thought this might happen Junior: but they both kept telling me no, no, no and they're both so sure of everything Buster: Honestly, she's been having regrets long before the birth Buster: I tried to tell her that she shouldn't do this, but she insisted she could, like Buster: For you, and for herself 'cause she wanted to know what being pregnant felt like Buster: But she is sure she doesn't want to hurt you Buster: And that you'll be a good dad Junior: Oh, God Junior: This is bad Junior: This is so bad Junior: What am I meant to do? Genuinely Junior: Demi isn't going to want to give the baby back but Junior: we can't hurt Rio like that, it isn't fair and it isn't worth it Junior: Nothing is Buster: I know Buster: You need to talk to Demi. He's still the dad and always will be, whatever happens Buster: But something needs to happen Buster: What do you want? Junior: Fuck Junior: I don't think you understand how big a conversation that's going to be Junior: He won't just stay for me, he wants this baby, he wants to get married Junior: The whole thing Junior: I Junior: I love her and anything but no more than Stevie Junior: and I don't know what I'm doing, I don't feel like her Dad, I thought maybe it was just because I ain't technically but...that's just what I'm telling myself Junior: I'm going to have to break up with him, when we've just had a baby, when its meant to be happy families. Oh my God....how do I do this Buster: It's 'cause it's a big conversation that you need to do it now, before things get even more out of control Buster: It ain't fair for him to do that, staying together for the kids never works, trust me and he shouldn't marry you if he doesn't love you enough to stay no matter what Buster: It's gonna be shit but at least Venus won't understand any of this if you do it now Buster: The amount of times Jay was in the middle of her mum's bullshit with me, and old enough to know it, that's honestly so much worse Buster: You can't do this if you aren't ready Buster: The choice is get ready or step back Buster: 'Cause Rio's given everything for this. Literally Buster: She thinks you are a happy family Junior: I know Junior: I know everything you're saying is right, and true Junior: I am going to fix this, Buster, I swear Junior: I just don't know how Junior: I should've never have let this happen, this is so messed up Buster: We're all to blame Buster: You need to tell at least some of what you've told me to Rio Buster: She's breaking her own heart Buster: She wants that baby as much as she thinks you do Junior: Of course Junior: Its not her I'm worried about, like that Junior: I'm so fucking pathetic, right, okay Junior: I can maybe get Venus to her now by saying...I don't know, I could lie and say I'm taking her to Mum's? Is that a good idea or should I actually do that so she's somewhere neutral now? I just know she needs to be out of the way when I break all this to him, he needs time to calm down or he might do something crazy Buster: No you aren't. I know how hard it is to tell people something they don't wanna hear. Won't hear, like. I didn't want Jay or Kira, being honest, but it wasn't my choice to make. You get to make yours, it's not too late. I'm not saying you won't love Venus, but Rio already does. And Demi is still gonna get the baby he wants, just not how he pictured it exactly. That's life, yeah? Buster: That's a good idea. Neutral ground Buster: I can take her if your mum can't, me and Rio aren't sharing the same space right now Junior: Okay, I'm sure Ma will but I'll let you know Junior: Who's with Rio, though? Junior: She shouldn't be alone Buster: I fucked up Buster: That's my regret Buster: I need to go back, I know Junior: In comparison, I think you're fine, right? Junior: It's just a mess of a situation Buster: Do you want me to talk to Demi? Tell him Rio's side so you have time to work out yours Junior: I don't think it'll work coming from anyone but me Junior: Thank you, though Junior: He needs to know that I don't want this either, otherwise he's just going to blame her and it won't get resolved Buster: And you're sure you don't, yeah? Buster: I have to ask in case you're in shock and then you change your mind and it's a bigger mess Junior: She isn't the only one who's had her regrets for a while, now Junior: I genuinely thought I'd just, get used to it if I went along with it Junior: I know how narrow-sighted and just stupid that is now but Buster: I can't judge you. I've never been in your position and I don't know what I'd do if I was Buster: Like yeah Chlo railroaded me but it wasn't exactly the same by any means Buster: I didn't love her for one thing Junior: No, and you weren't actually going along with her every whim, whether she wanted you to or thought she could get you to in the end Buster: I did go along with Rio doing this though, despite knowing it was a bad idea Buster: I'd do anything for her so I do get it Junior: You are going to be there for her, aren't you? Junior: Regardless of what happens here, I know she's going to need you Buster: Of course Buster: I did walk out, but only so I actually wouldn't, you know what I mean? Buster: I love her Junior: I understand Junior: It isn't my business to ask but have to make sure she's going to be okay Junior: I'll talk to her when this is done Buster: Good Buster: I'm here if you need someone to talk to, like Buster: I know we're not friends like you and Nance but maybe that's better? I don't know Buster: Anyway, offer stands Junior: I appreciate it Junior: No doubt we're all going to have to do a lot of talking to get this sorted out Buster: Yeah Buster: Good luck Buster: That first hurdle will be the hardest though Buster: After that it's bound to get easier Junior: I really hope you're right Buster: If it goes bad I can always offer you legal advice Buster: A restraining order or whatever Buster: It's a joke and it's not really Junior: Bet you didn't reckon it was me out of the whole fam that would require your services, yeah? Buster: It's a surprise, and given everything else that's going on, seems more unexpected Buster: I didn't really think the convo would go like this Buster: Reckoned you'd tell me to fuck off and stop trying to steal your baby Junior: Why would you? Junior: Normal people don't let things like this happen to 'em without at least an attempt at complaint or opposition Buster: Don't worry, ain't none of us lot normal Buster: That's why it'll probably work out fine Junior: All fingers crossed Buster: Yeah. If anyone's learned how to make non-standard families work it's me Junior: I don't know why anyone does this by choice, why Ri wants to Junior: does that make me an awful person? all I know is I'm scarred for life Buster: I can't blame you Buster: It's a lot Buster: I'm shitting myself too if that's any consolation Junior: How do you feel about this? Junior: I know she's not yours but Junior: you live together and she's helped with yours so Buster: Like you said, I more than owe her one Buster: We'll make it work. I've had time to get used to the idea, thinking this could happen Buster: Rio's already a great mum, Venus will be so loved and well cared for Buster: Not saying I'm gonna love all the nappies and sleepless nights again but Junior: I know Junior: Its the right thing to do, just need to make Demi see as much Junior: Wish me luck Buster: You can do this Buster: Just don't give up once you've started Buster: Don't let him talk over you Junior: Right Junior: Mum's come to get Venus so Junior: he knows something's up Junior: my cue Buster: You know where we all are

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topherfoxtrot · 3 years

Text

Nosy neighborhood

(or a reflection on the bittersweet nature of nostalgia)

What about a one shot about a tv show I never watched? It sounds fun doesn't it? Well it contains spoilers for the third Webisode of the walking dead called "The Oath" released in 2013. It can be easily found on Vimeo. Trigger warnings include grief and pessimism. Also I wrote this one on first person because I just think first person writing is neat😄

Everyone was gathered in the building that used to be a church. Except from the obvious architecture though you couldn't even tell. Even the beautiful stained glass was mostly gone. And there was no giant wooden cross in sight. Only tables full of food, drinks, and of course the band composed of four singing voices, an acoustic guitar, two saxophones, half a set of drums, a fucking button accordion, a xylophone and a def. Basically every instrument the scavengers could find over the years. Since the world has ended our neighborhood united to form a urban fortress.

I was in a corner with some friends not really interested in the conversation. My eyes scanned the whole place looking for the handsome, tall man with his long blonde straight hair. When I finally spotted Paul grabbing some food I whispered without actually intending to.

"There you are!"

"What?" One of my friends followed my eyes, "Oh my god are you really going after the man?"

"Dude is just introvert!" Another friend rolled his eyes, "That's why he is always in his basement."

"That is simply not true!" I said, "Y'all know how much I hate people, alive or otherwise, and yet I'm always here for our sunday gatherings."

"You know what?" my friend finished her beer before continuing, "Fucking go after him. If it turns out he's just lonely you will get my cleaning shifts for the whole month. And if you find a big secret of his or whatever I'll get yours. How about that?"

"It sounds like a deal!" Me and my friend shook hands with smiles on our faces.

"I can't believe you're going to bother the poor man just because he likes to eat by himself." My other friend shook his head in disapproval before smiling too, "But anyways if you find anything please spill the beans to us!"

"Gotcha!" I winked at them before making my move.

Paul put a lot of food inside an old Tupperware and walked towards the door like he usually did. I moved between the people trying to avoid being seen by him. Paul briefly talked to one or two people before leaving. I left the church a little after, making sure to give him time to step further from the door.

Most of the people were at the church so the streets were empty. I sneaked around corners and alleys and cars like I did so many times outside the walls. I still remember before the outbreak when not everyone needed to be a soldier in order to survive. It's been almost seven years but I still caught myself getting nostalgic sometimes.

I followed Paul for a few blocks. Housing was an issue in our community. Over the years more people started to come and babies started to be born once we reached a certain stability. Paul was one of those people who duo to his efforts towards the community gained the privilege to live on his own instead of in one of the communal houses like I did. He was one of the scavenging teachers after all. And my favorite one, I might add.

Besides being handsome he was also super quiet about anything that didn't concerned the classes. And to become a survivor as good as him you gotta have a past. We asked about it before but he always avoided the topic. This made me even more curious. I've always felt like he was hiding something and tonight I would finally figure out what!

It took a couple minutes for him to reach the big house with two floors and a front yard. Instead of entering the front door though he bypassed the house to enter through the basement door in the back. Paul lives in a basement just like a character from a book I read before the outbreak. Something about a woman watching her neighbours or something. I don't remember the details but I do remember one of the characters lived in a basement like Paul does.

I leaned on the wall and listened carefully as Paul opened the metal doors. After listening to his steps gradually fading as he went downstairs I sneaked into the entrance feeling glad he didn't lock it. I waited there for a while until I was confident Paul was distracted enough not to realize the sounds the doors would make. I opened just one door super slowly and checked every few seconds to see if there was any abrupt movements inside. When I closed the door behind me everything was in darkness expect for the light coming from one of the rooms. My hand instinctively reached for my gun but it wasn't there. I didn't carry my gun inside the walls.

I cursed myself in silence and started to walk downstairs. I wish I could see all the furniture Paul had but I couldn't announce my presence so my only option was to follow the light, which I did swiftly. I could hear a voice but it took me a while to make any sense of it.

"I know you would love those parties they make every Sunday." Paul's voice came from the only room with light, "We even had those back in the day, you remember?" He let out a deep sigh, "I still miss those days. We didn't have much like we do here, but we were happy, weren't we? I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything but I miss that, you know? I miss you, Karina."

There was not a sound to be heard expect for Paul's voice. The easiest explanation was that Paul was probably talking to a portrait ou painting like so many of us do. Death is such a common experience among the survivors. With this conclusion I could leave the house, but I wouldn't be satisfied. I wanted to know more about this Karina woman he was talking to. And about those old days.

I reached the entrance of the room but didn't dare to look inside. Instead I stayed there in silence, all my muscles stiffed. Quietly listening to Paul eating his dinner.

"Dominic talked to me again. You know, about the shifts and all that." Paul chuckled, "I'm not sure if we are just talking or flirting at this point. I know you are as terrible at this as I am but a little help would be good."

Paul chuckled again and a moan was heard. I felt my spine freeze as I obviously recognized the sound. A guttural and tired moan only a walker could make. I finally peeked into the room. There was no bed or beside table or any fortnite whatsoever. Paul was sat on a wooden chair eating his dinner with a fork. The most shocking thing though was the walker. The undead had it's arms tied tightly in a straightjacket. Saliva was falling from her mouth in the most grotesque waterfall I've ever seen. Paying special attention I realized her mouth was toothless. There was almost nothing left of hair in her head and the skin was this unnatural tone of grey. That walker was old. A thick chain kept it near the wall.

"What the fuck?" I whispered in terror.

Faster than I could even register Paul got up and pointed his revolver at me. I put my hands up and froze still.

"It's me! It's me! Please don't shoot."

It didn't seem like Paul would shoot me but he didn't put the gun down either. Instead he looked deep into my eyes. I tried to read him but as usual it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

"What are you doing here?" He asked finally with a deep voice.

"I... I was just-" the truth is that there was nothing to be said. I was there because I wanted to know what was up with him. And now I did.

"You shouldn't be here." He said firmly.

"I k-know!" I stuttered, "But you know what I'm already leaving, actually!"

"No!"

I stayed still. Paul took a deep sigh and finally put his gun down. The silence was only broken by the walker's unnerving sounds. Paul walked across the living room and brought a chair with him. Without saying anything he invited me to the room with the walker. I sat with them. Looking at it made me so uncomfortable all I wanted was to runway from there as fast as I could. Still, I stayed.

"This is Karina." Paul started, "We met in a settlement right after the outbreak."

"She died." I said, "And you couldn't let go of her."

"It's a little more complex than that."

I tried to look into Paul's eyes, but he was facing the ground. Once he was ready, Paul looked up at me.

"We made and oath. We wouldn't abandon each other no matter what. And when would fight for each other. One lives, all live."

Paul lifted hir shirt a little to show a huge scar on his belly. It looked well healed, "Our camp got raided by walkers. Me and Karina were the only survivors. I got this scar as a souvenir. But it looked bad, and I went unconscious for a couple hours."

At this point I kind of realized where this was going. I read Romeo and Juliet back at school. I hate tragedies. Paul lowered his shirt and shifted on his chair a little.

"Karina couldn't face the world on her own. She wanted to end all this pain and suffering."

"Oh no..." I covered my mouth slightly.

Paul tilted his head, "She killed herself. Once I got there it was already too late."

He stayed in silence for a while and I realized there were actual tears dropping from his eyes.

"But we made an oath!" He cried out. "We vowed never to leave each other and that's what I did!" He said even louder. The tears cleaning his face. "That's what I did-!!"

He choked on his own tears and couldn't say anything else. Paul just buried his face on his hands and cried while the walker (or should I say Karina?) moaned quietly in it's never ending hunger.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, no knowing what to say.

Paul got up still facing the ground. I quickly got up too and hugged him. He was taller than me so he had to bend a little to hug me back. That made his weight fall upon me. I had to stiff my legs in order not to simply fall down. But I carried him. He kept crying louder and louder. The walker got agitated but it didn't left it's place due to the restrains. I closed my eyes shut wishing with all of me for this to be over. Not Paul or the walker. Just everything else.

Pain and suffering left a scar on everyone. And I couldn't help but think, clouded by my own nostalgia, how much better things were before.

#the walking dead #the oath #Wyatt Russell #FoxtrotFanfic

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