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#but i'll only start posting after all the chapters are done
rainbows-fanfics · 1 year
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Working on a Story Directory page for this blog, stay tuned!
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ghostofwriting · 15 days
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Kildare Split Part Two: Place In Me
Rafe Cameron x Reader
Chapter 2: Place In Me
Note: Me: I don't know when I'll post chapter 2 maybe on the weekend but who knows. Also me: posts 3 hours after saying that. Once again I wanted to thank everyone for reading and interacting! I appreciate all of you so much. Not edited so be warned. I confused everyone with part 21 and this doesn't provide any answers! Just more context for other parts of the smau. Enjoy!
Warnings: none, bad writing, Rafe being mean, y/n being mean
Word Count: 3,371
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Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.
She thought that she made herself clear and that they understood where she was coming from after her speech in the green room.
She’s not expecting Barry to be sitting on the couch of the tour bus she had chosen to sleep in, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead from her run, slightly out of breath. 
When she opens the door and sees him sitting there, she jumps.
“Fuck, Barry what the hell?” Barry had a very specific regime for show days. He should’ve been napping on the other bus.
“We can’t go on hiatus. You’re being selfish.” She feels her ears start burning, she scoffs at him. 
“Selfish? You better be kidding me. The audacity of you to come in here and accuse me of being selfish?”
“Y-” She doesn’t let him continue.
“I have put up with this bullshit for two years, Barry! Just because I’m tired and need a break doesn’t make me selfish.”
“If you would just talk to him.”
“No. Fuck you. No.”
“If you talk to him, and he explains himself, you’ll understand and this can all go back to normal.”
“No. I will not fix this. I don’t need to fix this.”
“What happened to be there for each other?”
“Barry. You and Topper were supposed to be there for me!” She snaps, her voice rising.
“You were the only people who knew exactly what I was going through not only with Rafe but with the fame and the drugs and the people wanting things from me. You were going through it too, I know you were. But you abandoned me the second Rafe decided to what? Get in a relationship? You threw me away, I was so alone!” 
Tears are threatening to spill over now. She hates how she can’t get angry without crying. 
“I went through everything by myself and the people I thought were my best friends abandoned me. I get it okay. You chose your boy. But I thought I meant something to you. I thought I was your friend. He broke my heart and my spirit.” She stops to catch her breath, “I was a shell of a person and you still didn’t even ask me if I was okay. In two years you haven't checked in.”
“y/n..”
“He told me he didn’t want to live without me and the next day I found out he was seeing Sofia. And suddenly I wasn’t his friend or his bandmate or even a person. I was just someone he fucked. And I don’t care why he said that. I don’t care if he meant it or not or if he was lost and scared. He still said it. I’m done. I’m done with him, I’m done with this Los Angeles, I’m done. I don’t owe him anything. I don’t need to talk to him.” She finishes her chest heaving. Barry is staring at her, eyes wide.
“What does that mean?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay in the band. But it’s work. That’s all. We aren’t friends.” 
Barry’s silent. Still sitting on the bus couch. 
“Get out. Please.” 
+++
The early days of getting over Rafe were hard. She wanted to go back to who she was before him. The version of herself before she got involved with him. Journaling and writing song lyrics and poems could only do so much. Everyone told her that she needed someone else. She understood that but she didn’t feel like it. She wasn’t ready to get her heartbroken all over again. 
Not when she constantly got her heart broken on tour, not only when she saw Rafe making out with Sofia backstage but when Barry walked right by her without acknowledging her existence, or when Topper pretended not to hear her. Her heart cracked every time for the little girl who trusted these boys with her entire being and let them in only for them to stomp all over her. 
She spent endless nights on tour, alone in her hotel room crying at the top of her lungs and on the tour bus muffling the sound of her sobs with her pillow. So when people suggested she needed to meet someone to get over him, well, it didn’t sound like a good idea to just let someone else in to break her even more when they eventually left. 
It got better little by little, the heartache over her friends hating her. The heartbreak over Rafe choosing someone who wasn’t her, someone who was worth it. The loneliness never did. It was crippling how alone she felt. There were times when she wanted to go back to the drugs, drinking, and partying. She would feel so much better if she just couldn’t feel anymore. She didn’t go back on the promise that she made to herself. She would never be that afraid high out of her mind 17-year-old girl again. 
She isn’t sure if she gets over Rafe or if she learned to live with the pain. Sometimes she thinks she’s so angry at him and that’s the reason she doesn’t want him. She misses him all the time, she thinks she’ll miss him forever. At least who they were before they had sex and fucked it all up. 
She lets everyone know that when the time comes she’ll make them all aware. Cleo tells her that she better be the first one who finds out she’s seeing someone. She tells her that she wouldn’t have it any other way.
The day she met him was one of the most ordinary days she had lived in her entire life. She had woken up in her Los Angeles apartment, made herself breakfast, gone for a swim and gotten ready for the day. She didn’t have anything planned for the day, maybe tidy up a little, call Sarah, and run some errands. The craving to make brownies hits her out of nowhere, she doesn’t have any of the ingredients at her house though, the life of a touring artist. 
She’s leaving the grocery store with her reusable bags filled to the brim with all her cravings. She’s digging in her tiny pink purse that can’t hold anything for her keys when she drops two of her bags. 
She doesn’t want to get angry when she sees everything fall, she stares at it for a second, takes a deep breath and moves to pick it up. Once she gets everything together and packed up in her car, she decides that she needs a little treat for putting up with her groceries falling.
Her favorite pastry spot in LA is right by a hotel where all the celebrities who don’t live in the city full time. It’s usually a curse because everyone is hanging out or camping outside the hotel for a small glimpse of someone famous.
She thanks Caroline, the bakery owner and steps out of the store without looking at where she’s going. She feels herself collide into something strong and hard. Someone. Her pastries shake in the box. Of course, this would happen too. Why can’t she just keep herself from dropping her food today?
“I am so sorry.” She says to the man standing in front of her. He’s pretty, she thinks. Dark brown hair, almost black, brown eyes that look very familiar, and strong, and his arms are bulging where his black shirt sleeve ends. He’s hot. 
“Don’t worry, you’re fine.” She hears his friend behind say something in a different language and the man in front of her shakes his head and smiles at her. 
“Are they making fun of me for being a klutz?” He laughs. 
“No, they think it’s funny that I would run into my celebrity crush. Literally.” Any other time, if someone confessed that she was their celebrity crush, she would run so far so fast. Something keeps her there, smiling like an idiot, at a loss for words. She says the first thing that pops into her head.
“Have we met? You look familiar.” She feels like she’s seen him somewhere but she can’t place him. 
“Mira que te ha visto a través de la ventana.” one of his friends says, he shushes him not even turning to look. 
“I’m an actor?” He says it like a question, his cheeks flush, and he’s embarrassed. It’s endearing. 
“Yeah? Have I seen anything you’ve been in?” 
“I doubt it.” 
“So as your celebrity crush, it seems that I have a responsibility to watch whatever you’ve been in, don't you think?”
“No way.” He smiles at his friends doing a quiet chant of something behind him.
“No? Not even if you join me and walk me through it?” She knows she’s giving him eyes now, looking at him through her eyelashes, fluttering her eyelids a little too much. Her resolve is gone, she doesn’t know where her confidence is coming from and she’s going to use it until it’s gone. 
“We could arrange that,” he pauses, “Julio.” He extends his hand out for her to shake. 
“Y/N.” and maybe when she takes his hand she feels a shock run up her arm. 
Maybe she’s being dramatic and jumping the gun but what if everything she’s been through led her to this moment? Right here with him. 
+++
When Rafe finds out Y/N is seeing someone he tries not to lose it. He knows he has no right. His palms start sweating. He feels his breath shorten, he’s honestly a mess though he doesn’t show it. 
At least not until Topper pushes him on the subject when they’re left alone. 
“She’s seeing someone.” The room is eerily quiet, they’re in the studio recording their second album. Y/N had gone off to probably call her boyfriend and Barry was off doing who knows who.
“Yeah.” He’s short with his answer, scrolling on his phone to distract himself from the ever-intrusive thoughts of her her her. 
“You good?” No. No, of course he’s not good.
“I have Sofia.” Topper clears his throat and continues his torture on him. 
“Doesn’t answer my question.” 
“Yeah.” He looks over at Topper, his eyebrows lifting in acknowledgement.
They stay quiet for a few more minutes, the questions and thoughts and everything eating at him.
“Who’s the guy?” The question forces its way out of his mouth. He doesn’t want to know anything about the man that holds her heart.
“Some actor,” Topper responds nonchalantly, looking at him like he’s going to blow up if he moves anymore.
“Cool.” He wants to claw his heart out. What the fuck is happening to him right now.
“Rafe.” Topper isn’t convinced that it’s cool at all. Because Rafe can lie to everyone in his life but not Topper.
“No yeah, that’s cool. It’s great, yeah, good for her.” He knows he still doesn’t sound convincing.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Let her be happy.” He’s going to be mature about this. He asked Sofia to marry him last year for god sake. If he gets to be happy, she does too. Is he happy?
“Rafe.” Fucking Topper and his questions.
“I’ve fucked her life up enough. She deserves this. Deserves someone.” It spills out of him again, his eyes meeting with Topper’s, begging him to stop. 
“Do you ever miss her?” Topper’s not showing him any mercy today, wanting to know everything he’s kept inside for the past two years.
“More than anything.”
“You fucked up” understatement of his life. He ruined her and in turn, ruined himself. He was stupid and selfish and he deserved the worst.
“Yeah.”
+++
“You have to apologize to her.” Rafe’s once again fiddling with his guitar. The arena is empty except for the techs playing with lightingThe stage had been set up the night before. Y/N was with Sarah exploring the city before she had to be back for soundcheck. Barry was taking a nap and Topper was being a pain in his ass. He tweeted some bullshit at him and Rafe had called him back to talk.
“I don’t have to do anything, she’s leaving.”
“Yeah because of you. Because of what you did to her.”
“I seem to remember that you were included in isolating her.”
“That only happened because she was so hurt she pushed everyone away and I thought I would make it worse by forcing her to talk. Anyway, that’s between y/n and I. You need to take responsibility, Rafe.”
“For what? It wasn’t my fault I didn’t love her.”
“Oh fuck off Rafe. You loved her. You were just scared.”
“Of course I was scared! It could’ve ruined everything. The band, our careers.”
“You shouldn’t have ever gotten involved.”
“I couldn’t help it!” He closes his eyes, doing the breathing exercises they taught him in rehab, in therapy. 
“Please, just talk to her.” 
“She doesn’t want to hear it.”
“You have to try!’
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You won’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“Because I’m engaged. I’m with Sofia and I’m happy and if,” he breathes “if y/n were to even give me the slightest greenlight I would burn my whole relationship to the ground. Her whole relationship.” He says the last part under his breath, hoping Topper doesn’t hear it.
“What the fuck, Rafe?”
“I know.”
“Why now?”
“I did and said some shit back then to not fuck up the band. It was wrong, stupid and childish. It’s not a question of ‘why now,’ I never stopped.”
“You still love her.” Rafe doesn’t confirm or deny it. Topper shakes his head. 
“You need to apologize.” Topper leaves Rafe to strum his guitar in thought. 
+++
Everything changes when he comes into her life. It’s like she was living in this deep black hole of anger, sadness, and endless turmoil. He’s her calm. He grounds her and she feels like she can finally breathe. She hasn’t felt wanted in such a long time and even though they are long distance most of the time between his film schedule and her tours, she has never felt alone since meeting him. 
She has a video from him every time she wakes up in the morning. Sometimes it’s just him telling her something that happened to him during the day, or a funny story, and sometimes he sings. She wishes she could drop an album just to feature him on it. She wants the entire world to know that he’s hers and she’s his and she is so incredibly in love. 
It’s scary going from such a low to such a high. The extreme contrast is intimidating at times but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She learned what she wanted in a relationship from an extremely difficult situation and somehow it was all worth it as long as she got to have him in her life. 
They’re together for a year before it gets out. They chose to be private about their relationship, it’s easy when he’s halfway across the world most of the time. That doesn’t stop her from spending every single moment that she isn’t on tour or in the studio next to him in Spain, Italy, France. She loves him. She would do anything for him. She knew that he was the one three weeks into their relationship and when she told him and he told her he felt the same, it confirmed it.
It’s her fault it gets out, he said it was about time and he wasn’t mad about it at all. 
Sometimes she still finds that deep-seated anger she holds for Rafe bubbling over. It’s all-consuming and she can’t stop the venom that leaves her body.
When Rafe’s engagement gets out, she and Julio step out on a date night. Cleo calls the paparazzi for her. It’s a great plan until everyone is freaking out because they’re convinced she and Rafe were dating this entire time.
She loves her fans but sometimes the theories and threads get a little too much. Mostly because they’re correct most of the time. 
At first, she was scared of Julio seeing all those things and seeing how everyone wanted her and Rafe to get married. She was scared he was going to run away. It never seemed to faze him. He never not once doubted her. He understands how people get and believes her when she tells him she chooses him for the rest of forever.
+++
Topper’s words haunt him. He wants to apologize to her and give her and himself some form of closure. He doesn’t know how to approach it. They haven’t talked in years, not really. How does he talk to the person that he hurt so much?
He catches her after soundcheck one day, his wringing his hands together, riddled with anxiety. 
“Hey, Y/N?” He calls out after her as she passes him.
She slowly turns around and crosses her arms, raising her eyebrows at him in surprise. 
“What can I do for you?”
He gulps as she looks at him expectantly.
“I was wondering if you had listened to the album?” What? Why the hell did he open with that?
“Why would I listen to the album?” She asks incredulously 
“Well, because I mean it’s about,” he stumbles over his words, “I just wish you would listen to it and maybe hear me out.”
“You want me to listen to your album so that I can hear you?” She nods her head and puckers her lips. 
 “It’s so stupid that after all these years you can’t apologize to my face so you what? Make an album? Is your apology hidden in there somewhere?” 
“Yes-No, I just think that if you gave it a chance, we could talk about it.”
“You want me to pretend to give a shit about your album when you can’t tell me how you feel right now in person?” She’s laughing a little now. Shocked at his suggestion. He wants the ground to swallow him whole.
“Please, can you just listen?” 
“No Rafe. I am so done with this. I have been done with this. I don’t care about your album, I don't care about you.” Her words hit him like knives in his heart.
“Why do you care about my opinion about your album? Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I don’t know that your album is about me? You called it Angel, Rafe! The fucking nickname that you gave me when we were 12 years old! I’m not some dumb girl who you can just manipulate and get whatever you want out of her. Not anymore. I am not that person for you.” She stops, her hands coming down from where she was waving them. He wants to say something but his mouth is dry and he has a ball the size of a grapefruit stuck in his throat.
“You made it incredibly clear to me that you don’t think of me as a person. Like- what did you say to me? That I’m just a fuck?” He grimaces when she throws his words from three years ago back at him. 
“Yeah, you said I’m just some girl you fuck, ‘you’re just some girl I fuck I don’t care about you.’ Sound about right?” He can’t move. He’s frozen.
“You could have worded it a million different ways and still gotten your message across. You could have been so much nicer. Let me down easy. Let me know in a better way that you found someone that you wanted to get to know. I would’ve put everything aside and just been your friend but no, you decided that I meant nothing to you, that everything we had been through, everything we had built, Our friendship was not important to you.”
 “Because I’m just someone you fucked. So, Don’t worry about me, don’t worry about my opinion because you’re just someone I fucked too and someone that I no longer care about. You are just my bandmate. You are just a coworker, I don’t think of you. I’m done with you. Keep your album. Good luck.”
He was so fucked. It would be a miracle if he ever got her to forgive him.
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thankskenpenders · 7 months
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And now for something new
So, here's something I was never planning on doing, but I just couldn't shake the idea... Thanks Ken Penders is gaining a sister blog featuring an entirely different comic franchise!
Introducing... Thanks Steve Ditko, a blog where I read the Earth-616 Spider-Man comics, starting all the way back in the '60s! It's gonna be much more casual and less thorough than how I run things here on TKP, though, which I'll explain in a sec.
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If seeing me post weird bits from old Spider-Man comics sounds fun and you need no further info, then just head right on over to Thanks Steve Ditko. But for longtime TKP readers, I know you probably have questions...
Number one: Why?
Spider-Man's always been my favorite superhero, and with the Spider-Verse movies kicking ass and my excitement building for the new Insomniac game, I've been in a Spidey mood. Inevitably, a thought occurred to me: Maybe I should actually read the comics that everything else is built off of and see the wildly varying contributions of all the original creators, rather than filtering them through big budget adaptations. If I can power through One Piece and all these other manga with hundreds of chapters, it can't be that hard... right?
And, well, after a few issues I quickly realized that my options were to either clog up my other accounts with random Spider-Man panels for years, or to just make a side blog. And so the side blog was born.
Two: Will this blog replace Thanks Ken Penders?
NO!!!!!!!!!
Okay but prove it
To allow the two to exist side-by-side, Thanks Steve Ditko will have a different format than what Thanks Ken Penders developed. Rather than an in-depth guided tour that critically analyzes every story beat of every issue, TSD will just be a place for amusing panels and brief thoughts as I casually read the comics at my own pace.
If you've seen me make a few tweets about reading Spider-Man recently, I'm basically just moving that to a dedicated Tumblr. It's a place for me to dump these things so that it doesn't fill up my media tab on Twitter for the next decade. (You know, assuming Twitter is still around in a decade.) There will be many issues where I only post two panels that I thought were funny. There will be issues where I don't have anything to say at all. Maybe I'll reach a run that I just cannot get into, and I start skipping around more. Who knows!
This may sound similar to what I thought this blog would be before it blew up. Aside from the simple fact that there's already mountains of Spider-Man commentary out there and therefore less of a void for me to fill, one of the main steps I'll be taking to avoid repeating the past is not enabling an ask box on TSD. I do not need people to ask me to go into ten times more detail on everything. I do not need to write seven essay-length responses to questions about Spider-Man minutiae every day. I do not need a place for people to chide me for not covering certain scenes, issues, or ancillary series.
It also won't have any kind of update schedule. I'm trying to keep it very casual. I'm reading these comics at my own pace, and if I feel like sharing a moment or commenting on something while doing so? It goes there. That's it.
(On the subject of format changes, I'm also listing the issue, writer, and penciller in the body of every post. This is a thing I wish I'd done on TKP so that people didn't misattribute every weird Archie Sonic panel I post to Penders.)
Three: So when will TKP come back from hiatus? You said it'd come back after you finished SLARPG!
I don't know! Sorry. I have a couple things on the backburner right now for TKP, but I'm not sure when I'll get back to proper updates where I read more comics.
I wanted to bring TKP back this year, and that's still possible. The main hurdle is that I want to reread my own archive (again) as a refresher, which is, uh. A lot of posts. I've developed a high standard for myself on here, and I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job right if I forgot half the ongoing subplots and character arcs and didn't bring them up in my analysis. Especially when I'm discussing the work of an author as obsessed with continuity as Ian Flynn. Unfortunately, the nature of this blog means that every time I go on another long hiatus for Life Reasons I have even more comic continuity to catch up on than last time.
(This is a big part of why I'm making Thanks Steve Ditko an extremely casual blog instead of promising to become a Lore Expert on 60+ years of Marvel.)
Mostly I've just been very burnt out this year after having finally finished a video game that took almost eight years to make. I haven't really had the energy for any creative projects, including TKP. But I feel a little bit of a spark here with Spider-Man, so I'm chasing that feeling to try to get back into the swing of blogging about comics - no pun intended.
So, basically, bear with me on this as I start this low-energy side project. But hopefully folks will enjoy Thanks Steve Ditko as its own thing, too.
Look forward to goofy shit like this
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dolli-is-me · 6 months
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Chapter I: the treasures hidden within the subconscious + proof ♡
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Long post ahead! But I recommend you to read it, it really helps you hit the right spot by finding the missing pieces
Hiii! Dee here again 💗, in this post, I'll be sharing an important fact that will be guaranteed to help you, let's start shall we?
So, what is the context of this post? It's a study of the subconscious mind to obey your desires, as it's almost instant once you master it, and mastering it is only by knowing that you are the master
In the end, I'll even talk about proof I had many success with, I've manifested a lot from using my subconscious mind 💗
My next post will be a full detailed post about all the ways you can impress the subconscious, however, you don't need the methods, you only need two things:
(impressive thoughts) and (persistence)
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The definition of subconscious and conscious mind and their difference/
1. The subconscious mind=the right mind, the imaginative mind that decrees everything is possible, the mind that needs to be impressed to impress the 3d, the mind which stores the treasures of every information, the mind that stores any data about you, in short, it's the side that helps you with answering your questions, healing you, guiding you, and of course, helping you in the background
2. The conscious mind=the left side, it's logical, and it needs to be impressed to let the subconscious to be impressed to impress the 3d, the side which stores memory-term stuff, like math, physics equation- so on and on, this side is the side that you see in the 3d now, the side that is already established with beliefs
So what is their difference one might ask? It's easy, there are many differences, but the most prominent one that will help us is:
The subconscious mind = cannot argue with any belief or idea, immediately establishing it into the reality without any problem
The conscious mind = will argue against new beliefs or ideas for a while, will debate whether to let the subconscious act upon it or not
What does this mean? It means that the conscious mind is the gatekeeper, it keeps the subconscious mind from believing anything, while the subconscious mind is the servant at hand, immediately working on anything that the conscious mind sends
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The work in harmony between the conscious and subconscious mind mind in daily life/
let's start with how do they work in harmony
Thought + consistent impressing = stated belief → results
To further explain it better, let's talk about something you have been doing for a long time, writing
If you remember well, how did the last time go when you picked up a pencil as a kid? Your subconscious mind didn't recognize what it was, nor did it recognize the letters you were taught to write, but this act alone didn't impress the conscious mind the first time did it? The hand writing looked weird and felt weird, not to mention it felt confusing on which hand to use. However, what happened after trying more than once? You started to impress the conscious mind that you have to write, stating it as a daily habit, if you noticed, after a while of using your preferred hand to write, your hand writings will feel natural, why is that? You impressed the conscious mind, showing it that this act is already in your daily life, you showed the conscious mind that it has to send this new data of holding a pencil and writing it to the subconscious, so that the subconscious states it as a new habit, making it effortless to write now.
But what happens if you swap your preferred hand writing? (Left to right, or right to left), you notice the same feeling you had as a child, not knowing how to use the other hand, because your subconscious haven't got the data of you using both of your hands.
See? That's what I meant, using this as an example, you can state anything, literally anything, into a habit/belief in your subconscious, once it's done, it becomes effortless to even try, why?
Because you already have the data in your subconscious, making it extremely easy for you to get the results you want:
Impressive thought ( a positive desire that you take it as you already have it, taken as it's already a habit )
+
impress the conscious ( by being consistent for the amount of time you think the results will appear, cut the deadline with the conscious, impress it that you already have it )
=
impress the subconscious establish it ( the most easiest part, once the subconscious is impressed, you will immediately get the desire )
see the results ( the 3d will immediately obey anything the subconscious states as a belief or as a desire that you already have it )
There, just apply this habit to your life, get your thought of desire, continue to drill it without force or desperation to the conscious until it accepts it and hands it down to the subconscious, once it's handed down, the 3d immediately obeys
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What have I got from using my subconscious/
Waking up at exact time without alarm, at 3 AM or 6 AM sometimes
Seeing bunch of butterflies, especially huge big pretty ones everywhere I go
Revising my past bad grades into new good grades ( I swear this took one day, I came home after doing bad in the exam, then established the thought I had a hundred in this exam, I swear the next day I had a hundred, even my wrong answers were right )
Canceling multiple classes ( my class should thank me fr 🤭 )
Acing an exam without even studying one bit, right in class I commanded my subconscious as though I have already had the effects of reading for 6 hours when I haven't even read, ended up acing it
Weight Loss, I lost a lot of weight in a week only, I only kept impressing my mind that I was skinny and boom, even my friends were shocked as to how did I lose that much
There are many more, but these are the most prominent ones
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That's it for today 💗, remember, you are the creator of your reality, if your subconscious serves you anything, then of course you can make the 3d to serve you, remember, you are so close to your desires, I'm so proud of you 💗 111, 222, 999
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New Life Shall Prosper, ch. 2
Pairing: Halsin x Reader (as gender neutral as possible, given the context)
Rating: T? (not really smut but there's some heavily implied in previous chapters. pregnancy related bits, tad bit of gore)
Warnings: There's not full blown smut but it borders on the edge, mentions of illness and pregnancy, mostly just fluff
Summary: Months after the fall of the Absolute, you and Halsin have carved a happy life for yourselves within Thaniel's Realm, making a safe haven for all. A life full of hope and prosperity, only enhanced once you discover the very real possibility that you are with child.
Word Count: 11.5K
an: This ended up taking so long because it went through three rewrites and it's still massive. BUT I did finally get it posted. There will be one more chapter, possibly two with how I shifted some things, but there's at least one more coming! Thankfully, because I did rewrite and move some things around, about half of the next chapter is already written. Mostly proofread, but I was tired when I posted this so I'll update it later for any mistakes. Thank you to everyone that has enjoyed this so far!!
Follow up to this post.
Read on AO3 here if you prefer!
Find chapter 1 here! Chapter 3, Chapter 4
Masterlist
Loving, tender kisses peppering your exposed shoulder and a heavy dip in the bed roused you from your slumber. Slowly, your eyes blinked open as they adjusted to the light, your vision blurry until you could make sense of your surroundings. You recognized the lumbering shape of your beloved druid. With a content smile on his lips, Halsin loomed over you; his arms supporting his weight above your head as his knees dug into the bed by your hip, causing your body to slightly slope downward.
“Good morning, my heart,” he said softly, “how did you sleep?” 
“Fine, but I would do better if you would let me sleep a bit longer, love.” You said groggily as you turned your face from the beaming sun. You heard Halsin chuckle as he littered more slow kisses to your cheek.
“As much as I would love to, dear heart, I’m only doing what you asked of me.” You groaned as you buried your face to your pillow, his comment jogging your memory from the night before as he slid from atop you. Since your discovery that you were with child, you’d noticed significant changes to your energy levels. Being one to typically rise early, you’d found yourself sleeping in later each morning and desiring a nap around mid afternoon. Not that you wouldn’t mind to sleep in every once in a while, it just wasn’t suitable to your current lifestyle. You and Halsin were both early to rise and late to bed, filling your day with growing and expanding the area you now called home. Plants needed harvesting, home needed building, children needed enrichment and growth, and all of it simply couldn’t be done if you slept half the day away.
So, to counteract your sudden inability to wake up at a decent hour, you had practically begged Halsin to wake you in the mornings if you were still asleep when he returned from his daily patrols. He reluctantly agreed, wanting you to rest in accordance to what your body wanted, citing that you should be listening to the call of nature and not the call of a city. When you had finally convinced him, you made him promise that he would make sure you would rise and not go back to sleep, something you could kick yourself for now that the moment had come.
“Come on, my love,” he said as he pulled the blankets from your body and exposed you to the cool air of the room, “there’s much to do today and I made a promise.” With a groan of false annoyance, you rubbed your eyes and finally sat up. Halsin stretched out along side you, effectively taking up as much of the bed as he could to dissuade you from crawling back in. His head rested on a closed fist, sitting up partially to still make conversation. 
“And what business do we have planned for today that requires such an early start?” You asked as you draped your legs over the edge of the bed, your arms stretching high above your head with interlocked fingers as your back arched forward. When you were done, you glanced over to Halsin after not hearing a response and you found him gazing at you. His eyes slowly traced along your body, a tender smile across his face the lower his eyes traveled. 
“Or did you have something else in mind?” You asked in a low voice as you reclined back as best you could, given that the bulk of his frame was in the way. 
“With you? Always,” Halsin said with a smirk before offering you an affectionate kiss to the lips, “but there are some matters that require our attention.” His smile had faded by the time the final words left his mouth and his face had lost its softness. It seemed that his need to wake you stretched beyond your request for a wake up call.
“Is something wrong?” You asked as you straightened again. The change in his demeanor was enough cause for concern for your to snap out of your groggy state of mind. Since the fall of the Absolute, there had been very few times that you’d seen Halsin return to his duty driven mindset and he was teetering dangerously close to that precipice. Something was gnawing at his mind, although you weren’t sure what.
“Not quite, but there’s potential. It’s… it’s better if I just show you. Let’s take a walk when you’re dressed.” With a slight degree of hesitation, you made your way to your feet and began to dress. With a lingering yawn you tugged on your small clothes to cover yourself a bit more as you toyed with your hair, trying to your best to brush away the evidence of sleep. You smiled to yourself as you noticed Halsin watching your every step, his admiration for you never faltering even if you did the most mundane of tasks. He looked as if he was lost in a daze; his expression was no more than a lazy smile and half-lidded eyes. 
“If you keep looking at me like that,” you said as you caught his gaze, “you’re going to have to do something about it.” With a hearty laugh and a quick shake of his head, the druid sat up from the bed, his eyes still glued to your body.
“Although you are the epitome of nature perfected, my heart, you’re not picking up on what I am.” You raised an eyebrow, your head cocking at the comment.
“And what would that be?” You asked softly. Without another word, he made his way to his feet, offering his hand for you to take with a knowing smile. 
He guided you to the standing mirror by the water basin, turning you until your back was pressed to his chest and you both were reflected in the glass. You watched the reflection as his head leaned forward, pressing the softest of kisses to your still bare shoulder as his hands traveled the length of your body, stopping along your waist. You felt his hands lightly grip your hips, angling them forward until he had you in the perfect position. When his hand left your hip and slowly caressed the skin under your navel, you finally realized what Halsin was so transfixed on observing. There, in the reflection of your mirror, you noticed the slightest of swells to your lower belly. It wasn’t a large bump, but nevertheless it was the smallest of bumps beginning to form. After weeks of seeing no progress, you were now staring at the reflection of a pregnant belly.
“Hells, I hadn’t even noticed,” you said softly as you turned your reflection in the mirror to make sure you saw what you thought you did, “and when did you make this discovery, dear bear?” Your eyes were stuck to your reflection, wholeheartedly admiring the tiny bulge of your lower belly. Although you were still early on in your pregnancy, just seeing the evidence of your growing child filled you with an immense sense of joy and almost disbelief. Until now, the idea of being with child didn’t seem real. Other than a bit of morning sickness and being a bit more tired than normal, at times you forgot you were carrying a child. But now, with the proof of one in front of your eyes, it felt more than real.
“Last night,” he whispered in your ear, “after your bath.” You hummed softly as the memory of the previous night flickered in your mind. You had just barely stepped from your bath before you had felt Halsin’s lips and hands caressing your skin and curves, ravishing you until you both needed another washing.
“Well, then,” you said playfully, “that explains your sudden urge last night.” Halsin said nothing, but the low growl and gentle bite to your earlobe confirmed your statement. 
After lingering a few moments more to admire the growing bump to your frame, Halsin’s hands left your hips and left you to finish dressing for the day. You said nothing to each other as you hoisted up a pair of trousers and clean shirt, however the silence between you was not strained. Something was on Halsin’s mind, but whatever it was, was not directed towards you. When you had finished dressing and signaled you were ready to go, you were met with the same loving gaze and tender touches. This set your mind a little more at ease even though you were still curious as to what had gotten the druid so tense. It must be something in the community, perhaps the sense of duty, or maybe an issue with one of the refugees. Either way, you were determined to help him through it and set him at east once again.
You walked through your home together, hand in hand, and walked at a pace that wasn’t quite a stroll, but also wasn’t hurried. It had been a while since you had walked the city together, usually preferring to go your own ways and meeting again at the end of the day, so you quite enjoyed the change of schedule. Halsin’s large hand engulfed your own, holding it securely and offering a sense of peace and protection. You eventually made your way to the opposite side of the town, stepping from the cobblestone streets and into the beginning of the wood line.
“Where are we going? I thought we had business in town?” You asked as you continued your stroll, making note of the slightly firmer grasp that he now had on your hand.
“Business, yes, but it’s out in the forest on the outskirts of the town.” Halsin’s vague answers made your shoulders tense. You were not opposed to surprised, but you felt that this one would most certainly be unwelcome.
“Care to enlighten me? You’re not one to keep secrets, my dear.” You nudged Halsin with your shoulder as you walked, hoping it would make him open up and no longer keep you in the dark. You were impatient, wanting only to see what he was leading you to. 
“I promise, it’ll be easier if I just show you, just be patient. We’re close now though, as much as it pains me to say it.” You picked up on the slightest hint of dread in his voice, the droop on his face only confirming your observation. 
Admittedly, you had been utterly confused by Halsin, not understanding his sudden hesitancy to explain anything. He was always open with you, even with the most grueling of topics, and you were thankful for that. Both because you appreciated being in the loop of knowledge, but also because you didn’t want him to share the brunt of responsibility alone. He had done that enough in the past and it was high time he was able to share his burdens. Before the fall of Ketheric Thorm, you had made a promise to Halsin to help him through any hardships and even though it had been some time since you’d defeated Ketheric, your promise still stood. It always would. It was your vow to him and you were determined to uphold it.
After some time, you both had made your way to a small clearing on the outskirts of your established community on the line where your home met untamed wilderness. With your hand still firmly in his grasp, Halsin took you to one of the first trees along the tree line, walking you to the backside. There, just above your line of sight, was a symbol meticulously carved into the bark. A skull seated partially in a triangle, the outstretched fingers of a hand adorning it like a crown. You recognized the symbol immediately and a familiar twinge of unease settled in your stomach and your breath caught in your throat. Months after the battle, you were staring at the freshly carved symbol of the Absolute.
“I noticed it yesterday when I was roaming,” Halsin’s voice broke the silence and the tension of the moment, “a defilement of nature and a perfectly good scratching post.”
“By the gods.” You whispered softly as your eyes spotted the marking on the tree. You reached out slowly, your fingertips barely grazing the carved symbol in the tree, almost afraid that it would hurt you in some way. 
“You’re certain this is new? This isn’t a remnant of a few months ago?” You knew the answer, but still felt the need to ask. It was a fresh, clean mark; something that had only happened in the past day or so. But, there was one small part of you that hoped and prayed it was a relic from all those months ago.
“Oh, very.” He said as he traced his finger along the carving, “Look at the flesh of the tree. It’s still weeping sap and the cut hasn’t yet browned. It’s recent, my heart.”
Your breathing was slow and methodical, an attempt to keep your rising fears at arms length. For a brief moment the idea crossed your mind that somehow the Netherbrain had survived the final battle and was once again enchanting mind flayer tadpoles, but you were certain this wasn’t true. The Netherstones had done their job of convincing the brain to destroy itself and there was no denying that the same brain that had sunk into waters surrounding the city was anything other than dead. 
You then remembered the dying man and his siblings you had met on the road very early on in your journey. The man had been infected with the parasite, but his siblings remained free from a worm of their own crawling in their brains. However, they still followed the teachings and the call of the Absolute, despite not being True Souls themselves. You quickly realized that this mark wasn’t left by someone infected with the tadpole, but by someone who still believed in the Absolute. Someone who believed in the teachings and the power it offered enough to begin a resurgence of the cult, even if there were no tadpoles. The idea wasn’t that far fetched. You knew of plenty of instances where cults or even important figures that had fanatics that carried on the legacy of the entity. The most notable one that could come to mind were the handful of people that served the Szarr palace in the hopes of serving a vampiric lord simply because they were enthralled by him.
“I don’t think it’s cause for concern just yet, although we must be vigilant.” He said as he pulled is hand from the bark, “I roamed the woods the entirety of yesterday as well as this morning. This is the only symbol I can find and I haven’t found anyone lingering. Whoever left it, left it as a warning, but is gone from the area.”
“You don’t think it could be someone in town, do you?” You asked after you’d worked your way through your thoughts. 
“It’s possible, but highly unlikely. You know them better than I do, so you must know how everyone feels about the Absolute. These are children and adults who lost their homes and had their lives uprooted because of this cult, I don’t believe anyone would be a follower. Unless you think otherwise?”
“No, not at all,” you said as you continued to observe the marking, “but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. As you said, remain vigilant. Let’s see what comes of this.”
“I sent out a scouting party late in the afternoon. They plan on looking further into the forest and beyond to see if they can pick up on any trail. I would go myself, but if there is no pressing need for me to go out then I would prefer to stay here. I have many people I want to protect.” He lightly pressed his hand to your newly discovered bump, lingering for a moment before pulling away.
With another brief look to the symbol, you were ready to leave and return to the safety of your home. You understood why Halsin would always patrol the community and the surrounding area each morning, but you never thought anything would ever come of it. Maybe it was the lull of a peaceful home or perhaps you had just gone soft after the final battle, but this new discovery had caught you off guard. Any sort of resurgence of the cult could lead to disastrous consequences and it threatened the safety of your very home. There were already so many men and women that had been lost and displaced, not to mention the dozen upon dozens of orphaned children you were now in charge of, and the thought that they could face it all again made a shiver run down your spine. To top it off, you were now welcoming your own little one into the world; a world you assumed was safe. 
“Thank you for telling me,” you said as you began the long walk home, “I’m not sure what to make of it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”
“Don’t let it burden your mind and unsettle your nerves, my heart,” Halsin said as he reclaimed your hand with his, “our home is safe.” You pulled Halsin’s arm around you as you walked, allowing his hand to rest on your lower back as you leaned into his frame. He was right, for the time being your home and community were safe, and you felt even safer being wrapped in his embrace.
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It had been many weeks since your discovering of the carving in the woods and thankfully everything remained quiet. Life carried on as it had been and you frequently tucked the memory into the far recesses of your mind. You sat cross-legged on your bed, the back of Halsin’s hand rested on your rounded belly as you carefully plucked splinter after splinter from his fingertips. You gently traced your fingers over his, feeling for any more pieces of wood stuck under his skin. Although he was already a skilled whittler, Halsin had recently taken up woodworking. It was a hobby you found to be surprising, but when you learned he desired to master the craft simply because he wanted to hand carve a crib for your little one, you couldn’t be happier. Since then, you always made it a point to pluck any pieces of wood from his fingers. 
The partially completed crib sat against the wall of your bedroom, still needing a few finishing touches before it ready for a sleeping baby, but there was still time before it would be needed. Despite needing a bit of sanding and polishing, the crib was absolutely beautiful and incredibly detailed. It taken him a few weeks, but in that short time he had crafted the piece completely by hand and with copious amounts of love. He had even gone so far as to carve the smallest of details along the head of the crib; a parade of carved bear cubs wandering through the beauty of nature and swirls that mimicked the patterns of his tattoos adorned the wood panelling. 
With a final look over his hands, you had decided that you’d pulled out any remaining fragments of wood, lifting his large hand from your belly. You held your palm against Halsin’s, taking note in the difference in size. His hands engulfed yours, two of his knuckles easily able to overshadow your fingertips if he were to bend them. Your eyes traveled from his hands and along his arms, observing just how large they actually were and how they seemingly continued to grow at they reached his broad shoulders. You laced your fingers with his as you continued to look him over, not noticing the adoring look on Halsin’s face in the process.
“Is something troubling you, my heart?” He asked as he brought your hand to his lips, softly kissing your fingers.
“Not at all,” you said as his voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you shifted to your regular spot on the bed, “just doing a bit of thinking.” You adjusted the pillows under your head until you were comfortable on your side. With a gentle pat, you motioned for Halsin to join you.
“Do tell, my heart.” He followed your invitation, reclining on his side as well, positioning his head against his hand as he gazed down at you. Gods, you would never tire of the way he looked at you. His gaze was always filled with the utmost admiration and infatuation, which had only increased in the recent months. 
“You are rather large for an elf, you know.” You brought your hand to your head, mirroring Halsin’s pose as you spoke.
“Is that so?” Halsin cocked an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his lips at your comment. 
“Oh hush, love,” you said with a chuckle, “you know I mean no harm. It just has me wondering about this dear little one of ours.” You ran your hand along the side of your belly with the thought, still in disbelief that you would be having a child in a few months.
“Are you afraid our child might be taller than you one day?” He teased, placing his hand atop yours, seemingly sensing the worry gnawing at your mind.
“Not at all, but I am worried about having to somehow birth a baby the size of quasit if they end up taking after your size.” You chuckled softly, although the thought was seriously lingering in your mind. Elves and half-elves were typically small in build, but Halsin was of course no normal elf. Simply comparing the size of his hands to yours indicated just how big he truly was. So it was very well in the realm of possibility that your newborn would be well above average in size. 
“I don’t think they’ll be quite that large my heart,” Halsin said as he ran his thumb along your cheekbone, “but even if they are, I’ll be there for you. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you.” You whispered. Despite facing the end of the world, the idea of childbirth terrified you. You knew the risks associated with the birthing process and it was a daunting prospect. Healing couldn’t be offered until after the actual birth, so knowing you’d have to endure the hours long process without aid unsettled you.
“Will you be there?” You asked after a moment. You knew it was a dumb question; Halsin wouldn’t dare the miss the birth of his first child or leave you to deal with the trauma of birth alone, but with your hormones fluctuating the way they did, it was nice to have the confirmation. 
“Of course, my heart. It’s not even a question.” He quickly kissed your lips in reassurance, “Put your mind at ease. I will be there for the entirety and afterwards.” 
Halsin pulled you towards him, nuzzling his nose against the crown of your head, kissing it softly. In turn, you rested your face across the expanse of his chest, taking in his natural warmth and scent as you felt his hand slowly run along your back, soothing your worry. You hummed as you melted against his touch, your muscles finally relaxing after a long day. 
“Have you heard anything about the symbols you found?” You asked after a long yawn, the desire for sleep finally catching up to you.
“Last I heard,” Halsin said after a long period of silence, as if he was hesitant to say anything, “there was a small group of followers to the north. Goblins, mostly. And a few orcs if what the scouts have said can be relied upon. Don’t let it bother you tonight, my heart. It can be discussed in the morning.” With your eyes suddenly heavy, you didn’t argue his plea. 
Given that it had been many moons since you first discovered the markings on the tree, you weren’t too concerned with the lingering cultists being an immediate threat, but it still crossed your mind frequently. Between the ministrations along your back and sound of Halsin’s steady heartbeat against your ear, you found yourself drifting off to sleep, securely nestled in the embrace of Halsin’s strong arms.
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“It’s a good thing I’m better a wielding a sword than I am a knitting needle,” you said as you observed your work, “otherwise we’d all be mind flayers by now.” You held up the infant sized sweater you’d spent an hour knitting, your nose scrunching in distain when you realized not only was it far too big for a newborn, but lopsided with different lengths on the sleeves and a warbled neckline. 
“Well,” Halsin said with a chuckle as he looked up from his whittling, “let us give thanks that nature has blessed you with other talents.” Although he had already finished the beautifully crafted crib, his whittling hobby had picked up even more now that you were close to your due date. Small ducklings, bear cubs, tiny bunnies, and even squirrel kits were all figures he had started carving, the idea of having a child of his own clearly influencing his design choices. Lately, many quiet afternoons were spent like this, with you and your beloved elf taking much needed downtime together, happily preparing for the arrival of your little one. 
“I’m sorry,” you said with feigned hurt, “but are you telling me that this isn’t the beauty of natures creation?” You saw his attempt to hide the smirk threatening to come across his face as he eyed your knitting once more, chewing on the side of his lip to keep it from rising.
“I would, but you made it, my heart, not nature.” You snorted and playfully knocked Halsin’s arm with yours before unraveling your hard work in an attempt to remake it.
The two of you were lounging in the center of town, reclined against the large oak that had miraculously been renewed with life when the shadow curse had been lifted. You leaned against one of Halsin’s large arms more than the tree, trying to find some relief for your aching back. If your calculations were correct, you still had roughly two months left before you were set to give birth, but you were heavily struggling with the physical toll it took on your body. Your back frequently ached and pain would settle in your hips, making sitting anywhere absolutely abysmal, not to mention trying to get up by yourself. 
Despite this, you could never say you were too burdened with your condition. Halsin always went out of his way to make sure you were as comfortable as possible, which always filled you with a sense of adoration and love. He was always quick to offer a soothing back rub if your muscles were tense from a long day or if the pressure from your growing little one made your bones ache, making sure to massage deeply and slowly until you melted under his touch. Or if you were overtaken by a sudden craving for a particular food, he would be sure to bring you whatever you desired to your hearts content. He would frequently soothe your emotions if you were overcome with confusing hormones, being by your side until you worked through whatever was plaguing you and would stay until he could see you smile again. 
In all of this, his desire for you never faltered; if anything, it was stronger than ever. It wasn’t always sexual, however. His desire to just be close to you only grew stronger the more your abdomen grew. Gentle touches across your back, arms touching when sitting together during supper, holding you snugly against his body while you slept; anything to stay close to you. The same sentiment held true even in ursine form, of course. You frequently found yourself sitting beneath a tree or in a sunny field with the head of your bear placed gently in your lap during a midday nap or felt a wet nose nuzzling against your swollen belly. 
Not to say that his more intimate desires for you wavered in the slightest. It was hard enough for you to keep your hands off each other before the discovery of your pregnancy, but had only intensified since. Many nights were spent in each others embrace and were filled with soft kisses and playful bites. Each time was always gentle and seemed to feel more loving than the last. In every aspected you could imagine, Halsin was the perfect partner; not that you had imagined any less from him. The love you had for him had only intensified in the recent months and you could see the same sentiment reflected from him each time you caught him staring at you. His eyes always filled with softness and love, something that made your heart melt on a daily basis. 
A shift in placement of your baby made you grunt, your side now aching with the pressure of some appendage now pressing into your ribcage. You sat up from your position against the druid, leaning forward and side to side to try and stop the pain. As much as you loved the feeling of the tiny bits of movement here and there, you couldn’t help but groan whenever the child landed in a particularly inconvenient spot. Occasionally you’d feel a kick here and there, but you mostly just felt the entire body of your child moving in your abdomen. Despite being near you constantly, Halsin had yet to feel a kick or a bit of movement from your belly. It always seemed to stop when he placed a hand on your stomach to feel for movement. You felt them, of course, but wished Halsin could do the same. 
“Is everything all right?” Halsin asked as he noticed your movements. He placed his whittling knife and piece he’d been working on to the side, turning more towards you in the process. His large hand slowly worked its way up and down your back, trying to rub out any knot or muscle tension.
“Oh yes,” you said with a sharp inhale, “I just feel as if I have a foot in my ribs. Right in here.” You took his hand in yours, sliding it from your back to the side of your belly where the pain was, hoping he would finally have his change to feel the baby move. His thumb lightly caressed your stomach in an attempt to encourage the tiny little foot to move.
“Well, given the circumstance, I’d wager and say you probably do.” He said with a laugh. As the discomfort in your side finally subsided, you found yourself reclining on your hands with your legs extended in front of you. The change of position seemed to move your little one just enough to alleviate the discomfort and you finally had a moment of relaxation. Your head fell back and lightly brushed against the trunk of the tree, your eyes closing as you felt a gentle breeze across your face. 
Halsin’s hand remained on your belly, gently running it along the side and around the front until it eventually settled on top. With a deep sigh you finally opened your eyes, your head rolling to the side to meet Halsin’s gaze. However, instead of meeting your eyes, his own were fixed to his hand atop your stomach, a grin spreading across his lips the more he lingered, but there was the faintest hint of something else in his eyes.
“What’s on your mind, my love?” You asked softly as you took in his expression. He was lost in thought, his mind drifting as you both sat in the coolness of the shade and you returned to your former position. Your hand rested atop his for a moment before sliding up his forearm and back down, the ministrations finally grabbing his attention from his deep concentration. 
“Everything,” Halsin said after a long pause, “as always. But I have to admit that as of late I find myself worrying about you, mostly, my heart.”
“How do I worry you? Is it the baby?” You asked, surprised at his answer, “Please, tell me. Let me ease your mind. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to me.”
“Well, partially it’s the child. In my many years I’ve seen countless others give birth and I’m aware of the risks. I know the dangers child bearing can bring and leave in its aftermath. So I have my concerns in relation to that, but most of my concerns lay outside of that.” His palm light trailed across the expanse of your belly; his touch soft and loving.
“Tell me, then, please.” You lightly brushed a few stray strands of hair from his face, tucking them behind a pointed ear. 
“We’ve discussed this before, but I have to ask,” he paused as he spoke, that rare look of vulnerability flashing across his face as he tried to form his words, “are you happy? Truly happy? With everything that’s come after the Netherbrain, I mean. Can you say for certain that you are satisfied and content with the life we’ve built here?”
“Halsin, my love, I couldn’t have dreamed of a happier life.” The hand that had brushed through his hair came down his neck and finally rested on his chest, directly above his heart. “Why would you even need to ask such a question?”
“To ease my mind, I suppose. I pulled you from a life of praise and newfound opulence that came from saving Baldur’s Gate only to thrust you into a life of quiet, often thankless, servitude. I just want to be certain that this life is something you want and not something I’ve forced you into; especially now that you are so close to having a child. I don’t want you to have regrets.” He spoke quietly but surely.
“I don’t want or need the praise and wealth the city offered. You, though? You I need. And I can’t go without you for even a second. I chose to leave with you to build a life here because that’s what I wanted. We both did. You didn’t force me into anything. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, I had to practically beg to convince you that it’s what I wanted, did I not?”
“Oh yes,” he said with a slight smile, “I believe I recall you calling me an ass.”
“I was terrified of you turning me away!” You couldn’t help but laugh at the memory, “You can’t blame me for my words when I wanted nothing more than to follow you and be by your side. And to this day there is nothing I want more. I would choose this life we’ve built and I would choose you again and again.”
You leaned forward slightly, trailing your hand back up along his neck and chest until it rested on his cheek, gently pulling his head towards you until your foreheads met in a gentle caress. You’d come to adore your frequent forehead touches with the elf, almost enjoying them more than a kiss in a moment like this. It was a simple, intimate gesture that brought the both of you so much comfort in moments of insecurity and uncertainty. 
“And I would do this all over again in every lifetime, my love. In every possible form we may find ourselves in. All without an ounce of hesitation or regret. And now that we’re having a child? My dearest love, my heart is full. We have built something truly wonderful not only in this community we call home, but something wonderful and beautiful in this tiny little child we’ve created.” You lingered against his skin for a moment more before finally pulling away, your hand still cupping his cheek as you spoke again.
“Halsin, please, don’t every worry that you’ve taken me from something. In reality, you have given me the greatest gift possible. Release those fears from your mind. They hold no weight here.” You whispered softly before pressing a gentle kiss to his tattooed cheek.
“You truly are a gift from Silvanus himself, my heart. You’ve brought back the youthful optimism and stamina of this old, pardon…older druid, my heart.” You smirked at his attempt to remember your distain for referring to himself as old, appreciating the effort. 
“Trust me love, if my condition is any indication of how spry you are, I’d say you have the vigor of someone just barely over a hundred.” You said as you began to recline back again. Not satisfied with your quick contact from earlier, he gently took your chin in his grasp and pulled you to him until your lips softly connected. A string of slow, soft kisses soon followed, along with praises coming from each of you after each brush of your lips. 
Shouting from across the town square broke the serenity of the moment. You and Halsin both turned in the direction of the commotion, instincts immediately springing into action at the sound. Screams of terror and anger could be heard behind you, steadily growing louder. You were still struggling to even begin to get up when Halsin told you to stay where you were; a command more than a request. Before you had time to argue, Halsin had rushed the the cause of commotion, leaving you on the ground struggling to stand.
“Gods above.” You muttered to yourself as you finally managed to get to your feet, using the tree as support in the process. As quickly but as carefully as you could as to avoid disrupting your little one, you hurried to the sound of the commotion, despite Halsin’s request fo you to stay put.
You had gotten to the town square just in time to see what the commotion was. The freshly deceased body of a war painted goblin was splayed along the ground, its throat having been quickly sliced apart by the enraged cave bear looming over the corpse. You immediately knew the bear to be Halsin, who had no doubt changed at the first sight of the attacking goblin. Two other goblins had accompanied the deceased one, but had quickly turned tail in fear at the emergence of the bear. Not to the surprise of anyone in the community, Halsin quickly chased after them, releasing a roar loud and deep enough that you could feel the reverberations in your body. He would no doubt make quick work of the intruders, giving you the chance to ensure there were no other lingering goblins or nasties before checking in on any potential injuries. 
With your hand placed on the underside of your belly for support, you squatted next to the slain goblin, taking note of the silver pendant hanging around its neck. You felt a cold chill run down your spine when you saw the symbol of the Absolute within the safety of your home. Anger surged within you as well, cruising yourself for not handling this problem sooner. Thank the gods that no one was injured, other than the goblin, but the experience was enough to shake everyone. Thaniel’s Realm was meant to be a sanctuary for the lost and lonely, safe from threats of any kind and a place to live in harmony with nature. Now, however, that safety had been shattered and danger was no longer a looming threat, but a real and bloody reality.
You spent the rest of the afternoon checking in with everyone, ensuring their safety and checking for wounds. The children of the realm were shaken by the events of the day, but they were resilient. They had faced too many hardships and dangers with the threat of a mind flayer invasion and Netherbrain control for them to be running from a handful of goblins, but you wanted to be there to lend a hand to hold and a lap to sit on if needed. The nightly supper and bedtime stories for the children continued as usual once the remnants of the mutilated goblin had been cleared away, the usual nightly feel of home returning once everyone had a full belly. You walked home quietly, your mind racing with the events of the day and your emotions high strung. With a grunt of effort you sat on the few steps that led to entrance of your home. You sat in silence, absentmindedly running your hands along the expanse of your stomach as you waited for your druid to return.
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It was well past nightfall by the time Halsin finally returned home to you, bloodied and still in bear form. Even though you were certain would never harm you while in wild shape, there was no denying just how intimidating his form was. His snout was absolutely drenched in goblin blood, splatter even reaching to the top of his head, and you could feel the hot pants of his breath against your legs as he approached. There was the faintest glow still present in his eyes, making it very clear that he was still deeply angry about the situation at hand. The low growls emitting from his chest could be felt in your bones as you gently reached out to place a hand on the underside of his chin. You could feel his pulse begin to return to normal as your fingers brushed against his pulse point, despite the thick layer of fur between his skin and your fingers. 
“Come along love,” you said to your bear softly, “let’s get you cleaned up.” His sharp claws were also covered in blood, bits of flesh and cloth dangling from a few of them. Given the sight of him, you didn’t want to imagine what was left of the goblins that had stormed your home, if there even remains at all. Either way, Halsin was drenched in assorted viscera and could do for a warm bath; both to clean and to soothe. 
Once you pulled your hand from his chin, the bear erupted in a familiar flash of light, ending the wild shape of the bear and transfiguring Halsin back to an elf, who was just as bloody as the bear. He was still breathing heavily after the transformation, remaining silent as he rolled his neck and shoulders and shook out any remaining feelings of the bear. He closed his eyes briefly, allowing himself a calming breath before look back to you, his gaze much softer but no less expressive. Despite the intense rage you had witness earlier, he was as gentle as ever with you. With a soft touch, he helped you to your feet before quickly looking over you, checking for injuries. After reassuring Halsin that you and your child were fine, you led him inside and drew him a warm bath.
Once he had seated himself in the water of the washtub, he began to calm and relax more, the temperature of the water helping to ease any remaining tension in his muscles. After he had seemed to cool off a bit, you set to work. With a soft cloth and a gentle touch, you began washing the dark blood from his face. Starting with his forehead and working your way down, you worked quietly, not sure of what to say to ease his mind more. With each wipe of his face, you dunked the soft cloth back into the water to rinse it before returning to his skin. When you wiped away the last of the blood from his chin, he finally spoke.
“We cannot afford to sit idly anymore.” He said as you shifted your attention to the rest of his body, wiping along his chest and down his arms meticulously.
“No,” you murmured as you checked for wounds along his shoulders and arms, “we can’t. We can head out in the morning? The next day perhaps? Figure out where the group is, how strong they are, look at the defenses-” Your speech was quickly cut off before you could finish your thought.
“We? I hope you’re not suggesting that you come along as well.” His brows knitted together at your response, utterly bewildered that you would even suggest such a thing.
“Of course I am,” you said quickly, “I can’t sit at home and twiddle my thumbs and expect you to handle it all. I told you when we first came here that we share the responsibility of our home. It’s not your burden to bear alone, Halsin.”
“And you have done an absolutely beautiful job of doing so, my love, but you must stay here.” His hands lifted from the tinted water, reaching out to cup your cheeks with his palms. He looked you in the eyes, holding a stern gaze with you.
“The people here can survive without us for a few days. They’re not completely helpless. They already do most of the cooking and running of the market and the children will be fine under their watch.” You tossed the cloth into the water, standing in the process. Now was not the time for arguing; it was the time for action. Your home had just been invaded and arguing over who should go and when was irrelevant in your eyes. You were both more than capable of dispatching goblins. You pulled a towel down from a nearby shelf after hearing Halsin hastily step out of the water, patting him dry as you checked his lower body for injuries as well. 
“Yes, they can. They are prospering beyond what either of us could have imagined and in such a short time. And we are prospering ourselves,” he softly placed a hand on the peak of your belly, “and we cannot risk losing this blessing.”
“I can take care of myself,” you scoffed at the remark, “it’s not the first time I’ve faced a handful of cultists, my dear.”
“You would be a target.” He said firmly, not relenting in his stance on the matter, “If the remaining followers of the Absolute are just as vicious as I remember then they would target you in an instant. Just by looking at you, it’s no secret that you’re carrying a child. I don’t even want to think of what they could do to you or the child if they managed to get a hold of you.” 
You could hear the fear in his voice, despite the firmness in which he spoke. Unfortunately, he was right. Being only a handful of weeks away from going into labor, your belly extended far and would only get bigger from here. Targeting you would be the easiest way to distract a raging cave bear or sword wielding druid. And, realistically, you were in no condition to travel, let alone fight. You had a hard enough time earlier in the afternoon just to get up from the ground. Traversing the land, sleeping on the ground, and battle would not only be uncomfortable, it would be impossible. Not to mention the risks it could pose to your child. It could result in an early birth or a loss of the pregnancy altogether. Plus, the idea of toting around a newborn while trying to hack away goblins would be less than idea.
“I know,” you sighed, resigned to the truth, “I know. It’s agreed then, I’ll stay.”
“Thank you, my heart,” his hands landed on your shoulders now, “if the scouts’ information is correct, it should only be a few days walk to their encampment. Give it a ten-day and we should all be back home.”
“What about you? Are you not staying with me?” It was your turn for confusion to cross your face. You knew Halsin would want to leave with them to battle the upcoming fight, but you needed him at home with you; albeit for more selfish reasons. 
“Someone has to lead them,” he said, “they are capable, but they need a leader for battle if it comes to that. And given that most of our neighbors are children, I need to be the one to lead them.” You shook your head, understanding his logic, but disagreeing fully.
“And what happens if you get hurt? Captured? Killed? What then?” The pitch of your voice increased, emotion beginning to get the better of you.
“Were you not just willing to walk into a battle with me while with child? Why has that changed all of a sudden?” He huffed at your reaction, not understanding why you both couldn’t see eye to eye on the situation. 
“Because if I’m with you out there then I can see you. I can see with my own eyes that you are safe and alive. If I stay here and you go out there, I’ll be left in the dark. I won’t know if you’re alive or if your corpse is rotting on the side of the road somewhere. Maybe captured and left in a cage to starve or something even worse. I need the peace of mind of knowing with absolute certainty that you’re still breathing, my love.” You’d already saved Halsin from a cage once before, so you knew it was possible for it to happen all over again or worse. No. You needed him home so you could make sure he was safe. Safe to remain with you and safe so he could meet his child.
“If I fall in battle then that is nature’s will. And I’ll have died making sure that you, this community, and this little one are safe. It would be a sacrifice made with love; that I can assure you.” He said softly, trying to ease you into the reality of what was needed.
His words squeezed your heart, making you push from his embrace in recoil. Your lips quivered as your eyes became wet, your breath hitching in your throat. Without another word, he pulled you into him, your arms pinned between his chest and yours. Your cheek was pressed firmly to his bare chest, still slightly damp from the bath, and you felt your throat burn with the anticipation of a sob. You couldn’t think of that; of the possibility of Halsin leaving and never returning because he was killed by an off shoot of a cult you’d already defeated once. He held you tightly to his chest as best he could, given the size of your belly, and kept you there until your breathing had slowed and you could speak without your voice cracking.
“I can’t do this alone,” you said after you’d calmed a bit, “I need you here.” You voice wavered as you spoke. Your memory flittered back to the months you travelled together on the road, camping where you could and bringing the best suited to battle. It was often that when you asked one of your other members to stay behind for a spell, they would always question your judgement. They trusted you with their lives, but there was always the hesitancy of staying behind. Like you in this moment, they felt as if they would be the best choice to bring along. After all, what harm could befall your or everyone else if they came too? As much as you found the back talking to be a nuisance, you finally understood why they would do it. It wasn’t to be in control or undermine your judgements, but it was done simply out of a desire to protect.
And now, you wanted to be the one to protect Halsin from whatever dangers he may face. You had both worked too hard to reach the bliss you’d settled upon to let it be unraveled by a handful of goblins and vagabonds. However, you knew in your heart that you couldn’t go. You were a liability and a target. You needed to stay, much to your dismay. But, despite your sudden realization, you still couldn’t wrap your head around why Halsin specifically needed to go. He needed to stay; for both his sake and yours. The idea of giving birth scared you more than facing the Absolute, but more so the thought of your child losing their father before they could even meet weighed more heavily on your mind. Wherever you need me. That was always what he told you when you asked him to stay in camp. He never questioned or argued or requests then, so why is he now? Why did he have to be so stubborn at times?
“And you won’t be, my love,” he softly kissed your temple again, “but those that are going need guidance and I should be the one to answer that call. I’m not venturing forth because I want to roam or feel the rush of battle. Protecting this place we’ve built, and all those in it, are my duty now. You, my heart, and our little one are my duty. To keep you both safe. As I said, it shouldn’t be more than a ten-day. I’ll be back long before this chid of ours comes; you have my word.”
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Sleep would not come to you in the night. The thought of Halsin leaving you for a ten-day at minimum, potentially more, kept you wide awake with a knot in your stomach. You lay on your side, your back pressed firmly to Halsin’s chest as he slept lightly beside you. His breaths were absent of his typical snores, signaling that he was having trouble sleeping himself or a lesser quality of sleep at the very least. His arm was wrapped securely around you, cradling your heavily extended belly as his gentle breaths tickled the hair on the nape of your neck. 
Moonlight trickled in through the window, painting the room in an ethereal glow that would have been idillic if it wasn’t for the foul thoughts swimming in your brain. You knew Halsin was more than capable of surviving against a small band of crazed cult worshippers, but you still had your doubts. Saving your beloved bear from a cage in a goblin camp was the first time you’d met the man, so that particular memory kept eating away at your mind as you tried to sleep. If he did end up captured, or worse, would mean that he would be stuck in whatever gods awful place the remnant cultists were holed up in until someone, more than likely you, could find him.
However, that alone would have to wait until after you birthed your little one because ultimately, Halsin was right. You couldn’t afford to go out adventuring in your current state. You had a hard enough time standing from a seated position due to the size of your ever growing abdomen, so to actively battle someone and not injure yourself or your child would be practically impossible. So, you’d have to wait until after you gave birth, but would also have to decide on how long to wait until after they were born. You couldn’t bring a newborn on the road with you and you also couldn’t bring yourself to leave them home. Suddenly, as if he could sense your unease and inability to rest, you felt Halsin stir beside you.
“Rest, my heart.” He all but growled in your ear, his grip around your tightening around you slightly as he shifted himself again, “You’re going to worry the little one into the world far too early if you don’t ease your mind.” His voice was groggy from sleep, but still firm enough to get his point across.  
With a huff, both from annoyance exhaustion and discomfort from the amount of effort it took to move because of your pregnancy, you rolled to your opposite side. You couldn’t be as close to him as you would have liked, given the size of your bump, but you managed as best you could. With your nose nestled into the warmth of the crook of his neck and your arms squeezed between you, you finally found a comfortable position that may allow for the slightest amount of sleep. Halsin’s strong arm surrounded your body once again, his arm lightly tracing patterns along your back in an attempt to soothe your nerves. Eventually, and much to your gratitude, you managed to settle into a slumber. It wasn’t the most peaceful night you’d had in a long while, but you couldn’t argue that some rest was better than none. Your sleep was dreamless; just a dark voice of silence.
Come morning, the familiar embrace of Halsin’s lips to your forehead and calloused hand cupping your chin caused you to stir, your mind slightly foggy from the haze of sleep you’d finally managed to settle into. Your lover was hovered over you, planting his usual loving kisses to your skin to gently rouse you from your slumber. You hummed softly at the touch of his lips, reaching up to place your hand over his only to come into contact with his old bracers. The wood was rough under your touch; familiar yet a stranger in these past months of bliss. When your mind finally cleared of your slumber, you realized he was already dressed for the day, ready to take to the road in pursuit of the Absolute assailants. 
“First light was agreed upon, my love. Otherwise I would stay here with you for every precious moment.” He said as you sat up, the resurgence of dread filling you. With a deep sigh, you quickly pulled on a loose fitting outfit with the intention of seeing Halsin off for his journey. You still disagreed with him leaving, but you also knew there would be no changing his mind or stopping him. He was leaving out of duty to protect both his home and his growing family, and he was more than willing to die for both.
“A kiss for the road?” You asked softly after you’d pulled on your quick outfit, meeting him to the main threshold of your home.
“Of course. As if you even had to ask,” Halsin said as his hands rested across your shoulders, "It is as I said before you faced the Netherbrain, this shall not be our last, my heart.”
His lips pressed firmly to yours, but there was still the softness you adored. He was always so, so gentle and loving with you. You gripped the edges of his old armor firmly, desperately trying to keep him as close to you as possible as you shared your parting kiss. He groaned against your lips, not wanting to part from you and only desired to hold you to him, but you both knew you needed to part ways so he could meet the scouting party across town. After all, the sooner he left, the sooner he would return to you and your child.
“A ten-day, I promise.” He said as you finally parted ways, meeting your gaze with soft eyes that almost threatened to form a tear.
“And not a day more.” You said it almost as a command, but you also muttered it as a prayer. 
With a brush of his nose to yours, Halsin pulled from you, his eyes lingering on your features for a moment longer before his gaze drifted to your abdomen. He knelt to one knee in front of you, placing both hands on either side of your belly before pressing a lingering kiss to the area above your navel. Once his lips parted, he pressed his forehead to the same spot and you could hear him muttering a prayer to Silvanus for safety and guidance. You placed your hands along his, bowing your head to join in on his prayer. Before long, he finally stood
“Not a single day more, my loves.” He repeated when he finally lifted his hands from your body, turning to leave as he did. You shared one final look to each other before he eventually left, calling out his love for you one more time. You leaned against the doorway to your home, your eyes fixed on Halsin as he made he way across the realm.
When Halsin’s bulking frame finally faded from your line of sight, you couldn’t help but sigh as you strolled your way back inside your shared home. The exhaustion from the terrible nights sleep was still weighing heavily on your tired eyes and with Halsin’s fate in the hands of Silvanus, you decided to try and rest more. There was much to do around the area, but for now the people of Thaniel’s Realm could carry on with your absence for the morning. You plopped down on Halsin’s side of the bed, a grunt escaping your lips in the process. Just as you prepared yourself to crawl back under the covers, you felt it. 
You could feel the tiny, glorious little kicks from inside your belly. You smiled at the feeling, running a hand along the patch of skin where the kicks were most prominent. It was always a strange sensation, but a most welcome one. The small amounts of movement you could feel coming from your little one always reminded you how worth the hardships of child bearing were. Every morning you woke up ill, every piece of food that made you nauseous, and each ache and pain your body endured were always worth it just to feel the small signs of life coming from within. You sometimes felt guilty when you felt the movement, a feeling a selfishness always coming to a head when you failed to make it to Halsin in time for him to have a feel for himself. Throughout the entirety of your pregnancy, he had yet to feel a kick from your beloved little child.
When the movement from your belly lasted longer than usual, you decided to make a final attempt at allowing Halsin to sense the movements for himself. Without a moment to spare, you quickly made your way to your feet and out the door to your home, your hand placed firmly along the side of your belly to keep track of the movements. With the grace of a deer crossing a meadow, you flitted your way through town, which was unusually busy and full of residents saying goodbye to those traveling with Halsin. With a string of apologies and pardons, you weaved your way through the crowd, being careful to avoid any collisions. You weren’t sure if Halsin was still even in the town, considering he’d gotten a head start to the journey to the entrance, but you were determined to try your hardest to let him experience the feel of his child.
When you made it to the town square you paused, both to scan the crowd for the druid and to rest. In general, movement had become harder for you the more your abdomen grew, causing you to tired easily and not do a much as you were accustomed to doing. You inhaled through your nose and exhaled slowly through pursed lips as you continued to look for Halsin. You took a few steps forward and were delighted to see that your quick footsteps would soon be rewarded. 
“Halsin!” You called when your eyes finally spotted him, quickly ushering him over to you with a wave of your hand, the other placed along the side of your extended belly. Halsin’s head quickly snapped in your direction, seemingly hearing the urgency in your voice as his gaze settled upon you. He had been conversing with Thaniel before you interrupted, but he wasted no time in giving a quick, light pat to the boys shoulders to excuse himself before he made his way to you. His steps were quick, bordering on a jog as he approached as quickly as possible. 
“I’m here, my heart.” He said as he came to you, “Is something wrong? What can I do?” You now realize that your excitement had come across as potential cause for concern and that concern had quickly consumed his mind. His face was stoic, but with a quick glance to his eyes you could see the worry building. His hands had instinctively made their to your arms, holding you close as he searched your face for answers. There was a twinge of guilt that made its way through your mind with the realization you had instilled fear in your beloved druid, but knew that concern would quickly melt away once he realized why you’d come to him to urgently.
“Nothing,” you said as gently as you could, your excitement almost taking your breath away, “Nothing’s wrong; far from it. Just…just wait. It’ll come back.” Without giving a more detailed explanation, you took his large hands from their place along your arms and moved them to your abdomen. You both stood there in silence, staring down towards your stomach as you waited for another sign of movement.
“There!” You whispered as quietly as possible, but your excitement had still gotten the better of you, “There, my love. Do you feel it?” You placed your hands atop his, pressing them lightly to your belly with the hopes he could have his first feel the feather light kicks coming from within.
The worry that was written across Halsin’s face quickly disappeared and was replaced with a look of what you could only call bliss. The fear in his eyes softened and his eyelids seemed to droop. His lips pulled into a smile and you could swear you caught the faintest glimpse of a tear threatening to fall to his cheeks.
“Yes, my heart, I do.” Halsin whispered as he pressed lightly against you, desperately wanting to feel another gentle bit of movement. As quietly as he could, the druid gave a gentle chuckle as if he was in disbelief in what he was feeling.
“I was afraid it would stop if I kept walking,” you explained as he shifted his hands around your front side to feel more, “I didn’t want you to miss this.” 
With his hands still cradling the swell of your belly, Halsin leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours, sighing happily as he felt another kick against his palm. Several kicks later, you felt him lean more heavily against you, almost nuzzling as his shoulders and muscles relaxed with your touch. He basked in the feeling of his little one moving against your combined touch. You hummed in contentment as you felt him rock you both back and forth slowly, as if you were entangled in a slow dance together. In that moment, despite being surrounded by dozens of people, there were only the two of you, standing together as one to bask in the warmth and joy that was the child wriggling in your belly. Nothing else mattered except the safety of the embrace you shared and the soft, tiny kicks you both could feel.
“Thank you,” he whispered against your skin, “for everything. For allowing me this moment.”
“Just be sure to be back before this child is born, love,” you said softly, “I want you to enjoy many more.” Your eyes opened only to be met with his soft gaze. You’re not sure how long he’d been looking at you, but the warmth behind his eyes made your heart flutter.
“Oak Father preserve you, my heart.” With a final lingering kiss to your forehead, Halsin reluctantly pulled his hands from your belly as he took a step back. 
“You as well, my love.” You said quietly. You knew that if you spoke any louder your voice would crack and tears would spill from your eyes. You understood and respected his obligation to protecting the community he had worked so hard to build, but part of you wanted to be selfish and keep him home. You had seen him in battle many times against the Absolute so you knew his strengths, but you also couldn’t shake the memory of your first meeting in the goblin camp. There was always the very real possibility that he could find himself captured once again or even killed and that thought terrified you to your core. You didn’t want to see anything happen to him for a variety of reasons, but the biggest one being the child the two of you were getting ready to bring into the world. 
After everything he had gone through and the misery he’d endured for centuries, he deserved this. He deserved to be there to welcome his child in his arms and drink in those first precious moments. You wanted to see the joy in his face in watching that child prosper in the land he held dear to his heart; to see them flourish and grow to respect the balance between nature and civilization. And, more selfishly, you wanted him there when you gave birth. You were terrified to be alone for that and only wanted his soothing presence there to help you though it all.
As you watched the last of the scouting group leave the gates of the community, you turned to head back towards the market. It would soon be time for dinner and with Halsin now gone, the duty of the community now rested on your shoulders. You offered a quick prayer to Silvanus for the safety of Halsin and the scouting party, but also that your merry band of children would enjoy your nightly bedtime stories in Halsin’s absence.
Tag List: @incrediblethirst, @reignydeys, @thoughts-of-bear, @im-eating-rn, @beardedladyqueen , @simplysaying @emorylovescats, @distelsterncat, @cryingoverpixelsetc
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sykosugu · 14 days
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♤♢ on the run ♧♡ | two
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♤ summary: she's an infamous bank robber, and he's the only detective that's been able to get close to her. he was never apart of her plans. but he's got his clutches in her and she can't let go. a geto suguru au
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♢ warnings: this story will contain descriptions of violence, destructive behavior, toxic behavior, illegal activities, sexual content, death. use of weapons. forbidden romance
♧ aw: violence, guns mentioned
♡ currently: on going | no posting schedule
♤ taglist: open! just let me know
♢ wc: 3.5k
♧ carlile speaks: surprise! hi everyone! how are we? I hope we all had a great week! I had a lot of free time so we get a double update! another chapter down! aaaand chapter 3 has already been started. this one's way different than the last.. i hope everyone enjoys ♡ once you’re done here, head over to @celestie0 to read her new Choso x Reader fic! I know a special someone who might make a an appearance!
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Suguru wakes to the feeling of your arms wrapped around him from the back; sometimes he liked to be the little spoon. Mostly because he loved the feeling of your cheek pressed into his back. He felt needed when you koala’d yourself around him in the middle of the night. The night terrors you experienced years ago started coming back so you’ve been clutching to Suguru more often. Sometimes he wakes up feeling like he’s being crushed from the vice grip you have on him in your sleep. He always has to peel you from around him so he can turn in your hold to soothe you awake and talk you down.
“Hey, I’m here with you, Ru,” he coos into your hair, “C'mon pretty, wake up for me,” his hand rubs circles into the small of your back, pulling your shaking frame on top of him. Your eyes shoot open at the feeling of being moved. A “no, no, no,” leaves your lips until you realize who’s in front of you. You can't believe how safe he makes you feel, when nearly a year ago you were trying to sleep with him just to get away from him. “Shh, just me, Ru. You’re okay.”
“Sugu?” you whine, hands reaching out to feel his face to really make sure he’s here. Your heart feels as if it's about to jump out of your chest, but at the feeling of his skin against yours, you feel eased.
“Yeah, Ru, it’s me,” his other hand comes up to grip your wrist, leaning into your touch. “Just me.”
“I hate these nightmares,” your eyes begin to well with tears.
“Well, knowing someone is after you that you’ve known to be your friend is bound to mess with your head,”
“I know, Mr. Logical,” you roll your eyes at him.
“You’re in distress right now, so I'll let that one slide,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to your nose. To his right, his phone starts vibrating against the surface, pulling his attention to the object. Chief Yaga’s name puts worry into his mind. “Shit,” he whispers, sitting up with you in his hold. “Let me go take this,” he says with a kiss to your forehead before he disappears into the bathroom.
You sit in your spot, sheets pulled up with your arms to cover your chest as you sit and try to listen as closely as possible.
“Good morning Chief,” you hear Suguru say. “No, sir, no progress I’m afraid,” you chuckle to yourself at his admittance. No progress my ass. He’d successfully turned you into a sappy mess for him, that was his progress. If only the chief knew that you were sitting just a few feet away from Suguru as he blatantly lied to him. “Sir, I don't think that’s necessary, I’ve got it handled.” What’s not necessary? “With all due respect sir, you’re wrong. I’m the onl–” you imagine he’d been cut off, so his blood pressure is probably through the roof. “Sir, I’m the only one who’s gotten close to her before. I can do it again. Satoru is just going to weigh me down.” What? Who’s Satoru? “Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea. Hello? Chief?” you hear the phone get set on the counter before Suguru speaks again. 
“Fuck!” he yells, followed by the sound of shattering glass. The sound makes you jump. What was that? Your feet find the floor and they carry you to the bathroom before you can even think about it. You push the door open, finding Suguru standing at the sink, gripping the edge with blood trickling down his right hand. Glancing up, you see the mirror's state, completely shattered from his fist. 
“Suguru?” you ask tentatively.
“I need to get you out of here,” he says, ripping himself from his spot and dragging you back into the bedroom. 
“Woah, slow down. Let me look at your hand,” you reach for it, but he jerks from your hold.
“There’s no time, get dressed.” He throws the clothes of yours that were on the back of a chair at you, forcing you to catch them.
“Will you talk to me, please? You’re scaring me,” the words leaving your mouth sound shaky. He stops in his tracks, turning to look at you and taking in your appearance. The tears that are still evident in your eyes and how your body just trembles.
“I’m sorry, but there’s really no time for me to coddle you right now. I know you’re scared, and I'll explain on the way, but I need you to get dressed. Now. I’m not asking again.”
“F-fine,” you sniffle, sliding the clothes onto your body. The one suitcase you allow yourself to keep over the years was kept under your side of the bed. Sliding it from underneath, you grab your boots and your jacket before leaving the hotel room without another word. Down the hall and to the stairs before a hand grabs ahold of your shoulder.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“You said I needed to get out of there. So I’m doing you a favor. We were never going to be able to live the life we wanted, Suguru. It was always just a ticking time bomb of never knowing when it was going to go off. Well guess what? It went off,” he eyes you, tears welling in his eyes at your truth. 
“I’m going to find a way to keep you safe. I’m going to. I have to,” he pleads, a hand finding your cheek to wipe your tears. “You promised you wouldn’t leave,”
“I can take care of myself, Detective. You promised me you’d never keep me in the dark,” you pull his hold from your face. “You broke that promise, so I'm breaking my promise. Don’t follow me,” with that you’re disappearing down the stairs.
“Would you stop for a second? Let me explain,” he yells after you, “Ru!” he’s hot on your trail, “Rub–Y/N, stop!” he grips you again, turning you fast and wrapping his arms around your heaving shoulders. “Stop running from me,” he begs. “I’m going to keep you safe, okay? You just have to trust me.”
“Think I trust you too much at this point,” you sniffle into his chest, your arms instinctively snaking around him, after you drop your bag to the floor. “You promised you’d keep me in the loop on things. I need communication.”
“I know, I’m sorry. C’mon, there’s not much time,” he’s ushering you back up the stairs towards the room. Once back inside, he explains while he gathers some more of the items you’d left, tossing them into a bag. “Chief Yaga is sending another Detective, Satoru, to come work the case with me. He said two years is too long for one person to spend on a single case and is tired of not getting results.” his tone sounding more and more annoyed with each leaving word. “I don't know why I'm upset, you said it yourself. It was only a matter of time.”
“You have the right to be upset, Sugu. I’m upset alongside you, but we have to do something.”
“For now, I’m just going to stay here, and you’ll be in your room down the hall. Once I have somewhere else for you to go, I’ll get you there.” He sounds frantic, almost panicked. You reach out, placing your palm between his shoulder blades. He tenses under your touch, but then immediately relaxes once your arms reach around his middle.
“Just breathe, It’ll be fine. I’ll help you gather all of my stuff so I can get down the hall, okay? We’re in this together,” your words are muffled into his back. His hands reach to rub over your arms across his waist.
“Once you’re in the room, you won’t be able to leave without some sort of signal from me. We’ll have to keep in contact on our burners.” He turns in your hold, placing a kiss to your forehead.
“I hate that I’m going to be away from you,” you whine after you bury your face into his chest, soaking in the last bit of his scent you’d be able to get for a while.
“Hey, I might be able to get Satoru to leave for a while at some point. But I know what you mean. We’ll find a way somehow, I promise. You can't promise that.
You knew what you had to do.
“Well, I can’t just stop doing my jobs again, that’ll raise red flags. Another detective shows up and I just go ghost? That’ll look bad on you. I have to keep it up, no if’s and’s or but’s about it.”
“Woah there, Ru. You have to think logically about this.” You know what? Just go along with it.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.” You know exactly what you were thinking. 
Suguru helps you go through the entire hotel room, looking for any item of yours. All of your items were thrown into a bag and he walked you down to your hotel room down the hall that you’d never taken out of your name for a reason just like this. You never knew when your time was going to be up, but you just wished it wasn’t right now. You wished you could have a real chance at a real life with Suguru. Maybe in another life, you could have the life you dreamed of with him every night. The two of you laid up in the bed, his head on your chest for once, your fingers running through his hair as he hummed against your skin. Talking of the things you wanted to experience together. The countries you wanted to visit. The number of cats you wanted together. How many kids he wanted but how tentative you were about kids. He swore he was going to change your mind. Right where you wanted him. 
He’d be crushed if he knew the truth.
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“Satoru, what’s up man?” Suguru greets his friend as he opens the door, “Welcome to my humble abode,” he chuckles as he makes his way inside.
“It is certainly..humble,” Satoru laughs. “Why don’t I get us something better at the Hilton down the road?” 
“Nah, man, I’ve been here the entire time, I’m good here,” Suguru says not wanting to leave this space he’s been sharing with you. “But by all means, if you want to, more power to you.”
“Yeah, I think I will,” he grins, setting his bag on the bed. He takes in the state of the room, the tousled sheets, and pillows on the floor. Suguru stripped the bed for housekeeping to take before Satoru got here. He didn’t want to chance any trace of you being stuck in the sheets. “Aww, you doing some spring cleaning on my account?”
“For sure,” Suguru chuckles. “Nah, I just haven’t had the sheets changed yet this week.”
“Dude, what happened to your hand?” Satoru asks, noticing the soaked bandages wrapped around his hand and wrist.
“Oh, I got pissed off the other day after I let the girl slip through my fingers again. I even knew which bank she was going to be at and I still missed her.” Suguru plays up his irritation, turning away from Satoru and gripping the back of the desk chair in the corner.
“Well, let’s go over everything you have before I go get my hotel room.” Satoru attempts to ease the tension.
Suguru waited about twenty minutes after Satoru left to come down to your room. He knocked on the door twice like you two agreed on, and he waited. 
And waited. 
So he knocked again. 
And waited.
“Ru?” he asked through the door. 
Nothing.
“Ruby?”
Nothing.
“Y/N, this isn’t funny,” he says, reaching into his pocket for the spare key to your room. He didn’t want to just barge in on you, he had some decorum. He opens the door, and he’s met with an empty room. You’re nowhere. You hadn’t even pulled the duvet down on the bed. How long have you been gone? Suguru panics. He glances around the room to see if there’s any trace of you. On the desk, he sees your burner phone and a note. 
“Sugu, Our time is unfortunately up for now. We both know that. I’m sorry, but this is the only way. I know where I eventually need to go, even if it pains me to do so. Maybe I’ll see you again someday. - Your Ru.”
Hot tears stream down his face as he reads your words. 
You promised.. 
You promised him. 
What did you mean by this was the only way? He told you he’d find a way. Why couldn't you just trust him? Where were you going? He was spiraling. If he hadn’t already messed up his good hand, he’d be punching the wall. He storms back down to his room, unsure of what to do next. At least you had your gun. He knew you could protect yourself. But it still terrified him to know you were out there and he was stuck here in the unknown.
He had you.
He lost you.
Just like that.
He lost you.
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A month has passed and you haven’t seen Suguru. You’re certain you’ve never felt this kind of pain before. You can hear his voice in your dreams, feel his arms around you while you sleep,  but when you wake you’re alone. In the big penthouse suite at the Hilton. It’s a wonder what the hotel management is willing to do when you wave some money around.
“Thank you for calling the Hilton on Main, how can I help you?”
“Hello, I’d like to book your penthouse suite. Indefinitely.”
“Certainly, ma’am. Could I have a name for the reservation?”
“I’d like this to remain off the books please.”
“I’ll have to get a manager for this, give me one second please.” A brief pause, some elevator sounding music plays before a man gets on the phone. “Good evening ma'am, I hear we’d like to have a stay off the books?”
“Yes, sir. I’ll pay three times the rate, under the table. I would like no room service, no maid service, nothing.”
They really are willing to do a lot for money. No name on the books, a private entrance, not a single member of staff knows who you are nor have they seen you. Just how you like it.
But you have to keep doing your work
Seventy seconds, but you only need thirty. 
Like clockwork. 
In and and out of the bank. 
A hand grips your upper arm. 
You're taken off guard for two reasons. One, this is very reminiscent of when you and Suguru first met, and that’s who you are anticipating when you turn around. The second reason is because when you turn around, you’re met with a fist to your face and a knee to your gut, sending you down onto your knees. You spit the blood that pooled in your mouth out onto the ground beneath you. The bag in your hand drops to the ground. Gun. Where is your gun? Reaching behind you as you struggle to pull yourself to stand, you pull your gun from your waistband, but when you finally get clear enough vision, there’s nobody around you. Your bag is still here, but the person who attacked you is gone. 
What was that about? Who was that? 
You reach behind you, putting your gun back into your waistband, and picking up your bag. A piece of paper sticks to the side of your boot. It reads, “The Red Queen, beheaded for treason.”
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
You only have one option left. You only have one person left to go to. 
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Suguru has been a wreck. It’s been a month and he hadn’t heard from you in any way. He knew you remembered his cell number on both of his phones so if you really needed him, you’d make it known. Satoru has been acting strange lately as well. Noticing more of Suguru’s negative moods whenever they’d talk about you. His evident irritation at the mention of your name. He was proud of you of course for keeping up on your scores and taking care of yourself, but he missed you terribly and just wanted to see you–hold you–one more time.
“Dude, you good? You’ve been on edge since I joined you a month ago,” Satoru prods at him. Suguru had been sitting in the passenger side seat of Satoru’s car as they made their way to the bank you’d just hit. A sliver of hope in his brain that you’d still be there, but he knows it’s a pointless thought. He grips the door so hard his knuckles are turning white. He just wants one glimpse of your face. That’s all he’s asking for. 
“Fine,” he huffs, throwing the cruiser door open and stepping out.
They survey the scene, taking all records of everyone's account inside the bank. Of course nobody saw anything, the manager couldn't get a look at your face because of the glasses. All he could see was your red lipstick and that smile as you spoke. Suguru could imagine your face, your laugh as the man before him described what he could remember about you. He grins as he realizes just how good you are at your “job”, thinking about how proud he is of you. How proud he, a detective, is proud of you, a criminal. He’s actually going insane over you. He’s willing to throw away every oath he ever took for you. You have him wrapped around your finger and he liked it.
“Think she got someone outside,” Satoru says, making his way over to Suguru.
“What do you mean?”
“Found a splatter of blood on the steps out front,” he pulls his phone out of his pocket, flipping it around to show him. Suguru’s face pales.
And Satoru notices.
No, no, no. That better not be yours. You’d better be okay. Suguru will have whoevers head if that is yours. He needed to find you again.
Now.
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The pair of detectives make their way back to the Suguru’s hotel room, to add the photos they took, and their notes to their wall of evidence. 
Satoru is the first one to notice. Maid service had been here, and they obviously found a shirt of Suguru’s that he’d been hiding. A white dress shirt covered in lipstick prints all over the collar. 
Red lipstick prints
Is that why he’d been so on edge? Had he been lying to Satoru all along? Another mental note he keeps for later.
“Oh, guess the maids finally thought you needed some help,” Satoru jokes, gesturing towards the made beds and the shirt laying on the edge. He follows Suguru’s gaze, watches as his eyes widen and face turns as white at the piece of clothing as he looks at it. The shirt he’d kept under his pillow so he had some way of sleeping close to you, since it was the only thing he had that reminded him of you. He’s gotta shake it off. Suguru picks up the shirt and chuckles.
“Haha, I thought I'd gotten rid of this. A man gets lonely sometimes ya know? She ruined my shirt,” he says as he tosses it in the trash can, knowing he’ll take it out once Satoru leaves the room.
“Ohhoho, a man does have needs,” Satoru laughs. “Send her to my room next time,” he’s trying to keep up with Suguru’s story but it's getting harder to live with knowing his friend is lying to him.
“For sure, I’ll send her to the penthouse at the Hilton for you later tonight.”
“While I appreciate the sentiment, I wasn't able to get the penthouse, I guess some VIP is staying there indefinitely.” Satoru sighs, clearly annoyed at the memory. Suguru’s ears perked up. Of course you’re in the penthouse. Why didn't he think of that to begin with?
“Poor rich boy doesn't get the penthouse, whatever will you do?” Suguru teases him.
“Cry about it some more, probably,” he jokes. “Speaking of, I’m due for a cry myself to naptime session, so I’ll be going to my non-penthouse room now,” he says rolling his eyes. Satoru grabs his briefcase and heads towards the door. “G’night, Detective,” the tone of his voice almost serving as a reminder that Suguru is in fact a cop.
“See you tomorrow, Satoru.”
Suguru waits about an hour before he does probably the dumbest thing he’s ever done. Stepping out of the elevator, and into the hallway he makes his way to the double doors at the end. “Penthouse Suite” reads on the gold plaque on the wall. 
Once he reaches the door, he knocks twice. 
Just like you agreed.
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♡ tags: @celestie0 @lostfracturess @carlacujo @alwaysfreakingout @shervinss @jaelahh @gojolvrr34 @shesplendl @phoenix-eclipses @nanasukii28 @mylifetold @bakuhoethotski @4y3sh4 @whereflowerswenttodie
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deanwritings · 7 months
Text
The Guest House - Prologue
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Pairing: Dean x Reader
Series Summary: Dean Winchester is going through a nasty divorce. He doesn't have much left to his name, but what he does have is his house. Leave it to his soon-to-be ex wife to find a way to even ruin that for him. Enter Y/N, who is looking to get away from life for a bit, and stumbles right into the middle of it all.
The Guest House Master List
Word Count: 2,225
A/N: Welcome to the start of The Guest House! This little bitty came to me while I was staying at a lake house and relaxing, so really excited to dive in.
Chapters will be posted weekly on Wednesdays.
If you would like to be tagged in the series, just leave a comment or shoot me a message and I'll get you added.
Enjoy!
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You dig your nails into your fingertips as they sit in your lap underneath the table. Your heart was finally leveling off as your review was coming to an end. So far your marks had been glowing; your metrics were up, your peer reviews were stellar, all that was left was to hear if they would be promoting you.
You’ve been working for that next step for a year and a half now. After most of your team quit, you took the opportunity to show your bosses that you could run the department with a can-do attitude and hard work. You’ve brought up a promotion a few times at your check-ins with your boss, and she assured you it would be a topic of conversation at your next review, which would be ending in the next few minutes. 
With a polite smile, you look across the table at your direct manager and her boss.
“Any questions?” Your boss asks plainly, and your brow furrows as you look between them. If you didn’t know any better, it sounded like they were wrapping up the meeting.
Your lips fall apart and your heart jumps into your throat as you realize what’s about to happen.
“Uh,” you start as you squeeze your fists together. “I was hoping to discuss my possible promotion.” You loosen your smile as you try to keep your eye contact divided between both of them.  
The two share a small look. 
You’re not getting promoted. Is what that looks says. 
Your boss’ boss clears his throat as he readjusts in his seat. 
“After reviewing your performance, we do not feel a promotion is appropriate at this time.” He says with a tinge of forced sorrow. 
Your stomach plummets as your jaw clenches. 
How could they not be promoting you? You’ve been working the job of at least three people for over a year now without complaint. You’ve spent countless days staying late and making sure projects didn’t fall wayside while the company took their sweet ass time looking for replacements for your team.To their own admission, your metrics were good, so why the hell wasn’t your hard work being recognized?
“I don’t understand.” You swallow to keep your voice from shaking. You never pushed back on your bosses. Ever. But you thought today was the day you were finally going to be rewarded for everything you’ve done for them. 
“You just said that my metrics were up and I was performing above expectations. What is hindering him from getting a promotion then?” 
The two look at each other again and you can feel yourself beginning to shake as they bide their time for an excuse. 
“Y/N, you have performed well this past year for the most part, but there were concerns with your performance in January.” Your boss folds her tanned hands on the faux wood tabletop as she speaks up. “You let things fall through the cracks and were distant from your work. We feel that is not reflective of someone who should hold a Senior Management position.” She offers a soft smile and a shitty excuse. 
It takes your brain a moment to catch up with what they were talking about; January. Two months ago. Your aunt passed away suddenly from a heart attack as she was making dinner. You can still hear your mother’s cries over the phone as she called to tell you the news that her sister was dead. And at only 52. 
You were only able to take one day off from work for her funeral, as you were in the middle of a project launch and it was all hands on deck. When you returned, yeah, you were “distant.” You were mourning the loss of a woman you loved dearly while trying to help your mother and cousins navigate their grief as well. Your aunt’s passing also made you scared for your own mother, who is a few years older, and some night’s you couldn’t sleep as you thought about life without your best friend. It took you weeks to shake free from the heartbreak and anxiety that had engulfed you, but you came back strong and started excelling once more. 
And there your bosses sat, in the all-glass meeting room of the shared workspace your company rented out because they were too cheap to get a full-blown office, throwing your aunt’s death in your face and using it as the excuse as to why they would not be promoting you after more than eighteen months of slaving away for them with barely a thank you. 
You laugh through your nose and shake your head as you swallow hard.
“We’re happy to talk more about this in a few months at your next check-in.” Your boss jumps in, and you bite down on your lip. “We know you’re committed to this company and role, and we want to make sure we help you get to the next level.” She smiles at you like she actually believes the bullshit she’s spouting. 
You take a deep breath and genuinely smile back. You always prided yourself on keeping a cool head, especially at work. But a line had crossed, and even for you, enough was now enough. 
“I don’t think that will be necessary.” Your boss ticks her head at your words. “Because I quit.” You stand up and smile down at the two asshats you gave everything for, and now realize, you would never get anything in return from them. 
Both of their mouths fall open as they share a shocked look between them.
“Y/N, let’s not do anything rash.” Your boss’ boss stands as well, holding his hands up. “There’s no need to jump to something like this. I’m sure there’s something we can work out” 
You push your chair in, your smile not wavering.
“I feel that this review is not reflective of a company I want to work for anymore.” You throw their words back to them. “I’ll have no issue finding a new role that values my hard work and dedication, and won’t use a family member’s death as a reason to squirrel out of a rightful promotion.”
“Best of luck filling my role.” You turn on your heel and hurry down the hallway to your shared office. A few coworkers glance up at your haste entrance, but you ignore them as you grab your purse and start grabbing the few personal effects that would fit on your tiny, shared desktop; just a single, unframed picture of you, your parents, and your brother, a few fidget toys, and your favorite pens. The rest belonged to the company, just like you had. 
Without a word, you fling your purse onto your shoulder and with your head held high, carry yourself out of the office without a single glance back. As you step onto the elevator, you smirk as you watch through the all-glass walls as your bosses shout at one another before the doors close.
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“You what?” Your mother gasps through the phone at your news. You knew your parents weren’t going to take this well, and you were prepared for it.
“I quit.” You repeat, even though you know she heard you the first time.
“Y/N, what on God’s green earth would make you quit without another job lined up?” She huffs. 
You think about your Aunt Rose, how your bosses used your grief as an excuse not to give you a well-earned promotion. She was always free spirited, having career-jumped her whole life. She started as a bartender, then worked as a sous chef for a catering company before she decided she wanted to be a radio DJ. Years before she died, she had gotten her real estate license and was working as an agent right up until she passed. You had always been the opposite, very much a mirror of your mother. You went to a good college and got a business degree. You had worked for a few companies over the years, but you always stayed in the same field, working your way up the ladder. You never wanted to take a risk with your career, you had worked too hard. But working hard got you nothing but late nights and a bullshit yearly review. 
To say you were exhausted was an understatement. And you can barely recall the last time you got together with your friends, let alone a date. You had married your job and it had been a toxic and loveless relationship. 
It was time to start fresh and take some time for yourself. Which is exactly why you had seventeen tabs of house rentals open on your laptop screen as you half-listen to your mother as she continues to admonish your rash decision. 
“It’s going to be good for me, mom.” You cut her off once you’ve finally had enough of her harping. You loved the woman to death, but my god once you wind her up, she doesn’t stop. 
“I have enough savings to comfortably get me through six months without a job. I’m going to take a few weeks off to reset, then I’ll hit the ground running with the job search.” You cross your legs as you languidly swipe through rental photos. 
After a few more minutes, you finally hang up the phone and start seriously considering your options. 
You wanted to get away upstate, not so far away that you couldn’t get back for anything important, but far enough to feel like the city wasn’t in your rearview mirror. You figured a month would be the perfect time. Four weeks of a quiet town to relax and rediscover your love of reading and writing. It’s been ages since you actually sat down and read a good book. You were never good at art, but maybe you’d even find a studio to do some painting or finally give pottery a try. For the first time in your life, your time would be your own to sleep in and do whatever you wanted with your days. 
As you click through listings, you notice one that is significantly cheaper than the rest. Curiously, you click the link and a gray-sided cabin with a red tin-looking roof brightens up in front of you.
NEW LISTING! Private Guest House, Hot tub included.
One bedroom guest house available for rent. Relax in the peacefulness of upstate while being a short driving distance to town. The guest house has a full bathroom, complete with tub. There is also a hot tub on the patio that is for guest enjoyment. 10 minutes from downtown with plenty of bars and shops to keep you busy. The owner lives on the main property, but will keep to themself unless you need anything. Perfect for anyone looking to getaway! 
As you click through the photos, you’re greeted with a warm, wooden interior, a wood burning stove, a fairly updated kitchen, and a queen bed with an adjacent master bath. 
The cabin feels a little too good to be true for the price, and you click “Contact Owner” at the bottom of the page.
“Hello,” You start your chat. “I’m interested in potentially renting your guest cabin for four weeks. The place looks lovely but I wanted to ask if there are any issues I should be aware of since the price is so much more reasonable than other listings on this site.” 
You were hoping there were no gimmicks, you’ve heard horror stories before, and with no reviews, you wanted to do your due diligence. 
After you send the chat, you step away to make a quick dinner, chicken and ramen, comfy and warm, before you settle back onto the couch to watch your favorite reality show. You’re about to press play when you notice a response in your inbox. 
“Hi there. Totally understand your concern. I just put the listing up today and am offering a discounted rate for the first few renters to help get traffic to our rental and start getting reviews. Let me know if you have any questions.” You shrug at the perfectly reasonable response and you click on the circular picture of the brunette next to the message, opening the owner’s profile.
LISA BRAEDEN (Host)
0 Reviews | 1 Month Renting
Lisa’s confirmed information
Identity ✓
Email address ✓
Phone number✓
Proud wife and owner of a unique property. I am a certified yoga instructor and have been teaching and practicing for over 15 years. I love a good glass of wine, a well-cooked meal, and traveling to new places. 
You stare at the picture of the smiling, long-haired, tanned brunette. She’s absolutely beautiful. Probably a few years older than you and seems down to earth in a regular tshirt. 
Honestly, considering you were out of a job, the discounted price would really come in handy. Then you wouldn’t feel so guilty taking a full month off before you started your job hunt. 
You click back to the rental’s profile and put in your dates. You take a deep breath before clicking RESERVE and putting in your payment details.  Your rental has been confirmed. The message pops up. With a thousand-watt smile, you shut your laptop and settle into your couch. In just a few days, you would be on your way to a new beginning.  
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A/N: Fun fact, the first half of this was inspired by true events. Sadly, I didn't quit on the spot, but I did shortly after with a 10x better job.
And know we didn't get to see Dean yet, but I promise he will be in the next chapter!
Anywho, stealing this from the lovely @zepskies
NEXT TIME:
“I’m calling the cops!” She shouts, her phone in hand, music blaring from the speaker as her fingers are ready to press the three numbers as she stares at him with fear in her Y/C/E eyes.
“Take it easy,” Dean holds his hands up, and the woman looks like she’s going to have a heart attack as she notices the gun in his right hand. Realizing his mistake, he quickly tucks it away into his waistband and holds his empty hands out to her, wanting her to know he’s not a threat.
“First off,” Dean holds up a finger at her. “If anyone should be calling the cops, it’s me.” He points back to himself. “Secondly, what are you doing in my house?” 
“Your house?” Her voice drips with confusion as her brow furrows.
“Yes my house.” He echoes, emphasizing his ownership. She continues to frown.  
“Well if it’s your house, you would know I’m renting your guest house for the next four weeks.” She crosses her arms defiantly, confusion and fear gone as she challenges him. 
“What are you talking about?” Now it’s Dean’s turn to be confused. He’s never rented the guest house out, nor would he ever. 
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Forever 
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timemachineyeah · 3 months
Note
I really, really need you to elaborate on this note you left on a post. I'm fascinated.
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If you don't I'm sure I'll survive but this is an absolutely intriguing concept.
Whoooo, yeah, let's talk about Mormon theology and cosmology!!!
In response to me saying that this is basically Mormon theology, because it absolutely is
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(I swear, being raised Mormon, and especially the studious and serious kind, and then leaving the church is like that bit in the first episode of The Office where they think they might be getting shut down and Jim says something like, "I know so much about paper. What I am supposed to do with all this knowledge if I don't work here any more." Like I never got very far in The Office, but I think about that feeling all the time.)
From the book of Mormon, 2nd Nephi Chapter 2:
22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end. 23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin. 24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. 25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
Also worth noting that Mormons are so opposed to original sin that it's actually the second of the 13 Articles of Faith, which I had to memorize in grade school. The only article that comes before it is the one saying we believe in God, Jesus, and The Holy Ghost.
"2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression."
And stealing from the church's official current website on the topic
President Joseph Fielding Smith (1876–1972) said: “I never speak of the part Eve took in this fall as a sin, nor do I accuse Adam of a sin. … This was a transgression of the law, but not a sin … for it was something that Adam and Eve had to do!”
Adam's fall is considered an unequivocal good to Mormons. So this whole take on theology taps into two very import Mormon principles.
The first is "agency", "free agency", or "free will". This basically boils down to: you can't grow, your actions can't matter, if you don't have a choice. The ability to choose is power, and we are here specifically to experience that freedom and to learn how to use it.
This was actually the basis of a premortal war (don't ask how folks without bodies who can't die do a war, I've no idea) between Lucifer and Jesus, because Lucifer wanted to guarantee everyone's salvation by eliminating the ability to choose wrong. The losing side was cast out of heaven and that's where Satan and demons come from!
Here have a musical number about from a VHS I used to watch constantly (in case the link malfunctions, relevant song starts at 10:55)
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The second is, "opposition". Basically, things can only exist in contrast. You can only truly recognize something in comparison to something else. Ergo, a world without suffering or sin is also a world without joy or virtue. It is a nothing world. Here, a worse song from the same musical! (starts at 8:57)
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By this principle, the Garden of Eden, while wonderful from the outside in retrospect, was not wonderful from within, because Adam and Eve had no frame of reference for it. To them it was just Existence, and as an existence was fairly bland.
Another thing to understand here is that Mormons believe in a premortal existence. We are all, spiritually, as ancient as God is. We've all always existed. Another Mormon principle is one of "Eternal Progress" - the idea that we are always on a journey to improve, and are capable of improving to even the state of Heavenly Father.
I remember asking once if Heavenly Father was done progressing, and told we can't possibly know, but it's possible that even He has more progress to make. But if so, we can't possibly comprehend what he is progressing towards and it's not relevant to us now.
It's important to realize that "As man is, God once was. As God is, man might become" is, like, central to Mormon theology. We aren't lesser things than God, just not as far progressed. He's among the first caterpillars to figure out how to make a chrysalis and become a butterfly and he's trying to show us how to do the same.
Regardless, a necessary step to this progress, to growth, is to live a mortal physical life in a body. A body is so important that Mormons believe at the second coming everyone who ever lived will be resurrected into "perfect" eternal immortal bodies. (This ALL creates MANY logistical and theological problems but we don't have time for all that!)
Other necessary steps include compulsive heterosexuality, marriage, and having children. Because of course.
But if God's power is not innate, but rather something he has gained by being Perfectly Good And Noble - which is like the Force or something - then he isn't truly omnipotent. He is so powerful and omniscient that to us mere mortals the distinction is meaningless, but God cannot endorse harm or cruelty without potentially losing his Godhood. Godhood is conditional upon good behavior. Morality is a natural force in the universe that can be utilized, but! See above about opposition! And free will! To utilize it, you have to be capable of knowingly being bad and choose good anyway!
This puts God in kind of a bind when it comes to guiding humanity.
He needs people to have knowledge of good and evil, but if he gives it to them directly, he'd kinda be doing a bad thing? Like, he'd be causing suffering to just force knowledge of good and evil upon us. The suffering can't be something inflicted upon humanity, it has to be a product of human choice. And choice is essential, but to learn to make choices, first you must be presented with simple ones.
Like Adam and Eve are immortal, physical, useless baby adults who cannot progress. They need to progress, and they also need to get to boning or else all the other spirit children waiting in heaven to be born will not have bodies.
So God sets up a little trap. A little trick. Just a fun little -just a fun little game.
He puts a tree in the garden and he's like, "Just leaving this over here. Don't touch it. But it's right here. See it? Right here. Just making sure you saw it. Yeah, don't touch it. In fact, two commandments for you.
Go have kids
Don't eat that fruit"
And Adam and Eve are like, "cool, great, awesome."
And God is like, really loudly in front of Lucifer/The Snake like, "Oh noooooooo. I sure hope they don't eat from this treeeeee. That would be terrrrrrible! They'd learn about SIN and BECOME MORTAL." and Satan is like "tehehehe I have a great idea!"
Meanwhile Eve, who is currently a metaphysical biological immortal, does not know what sex is and has no sex drive. She's like, "Sooooo? The kids part? How that?"
And the snake is like "You can find out, but you gotta eat this fruit" (true! this is Eden, it is still free from sin. The snake cannot lie here, yet. Because folk Mormon theology - Satan can't lie! That's a fun fact about him. He twists and manipulates truths, but lying is a Mortal gift we got from the whole Fruit thing that Eve is about to do)
And Eve is like, "Yeah, sure, I want babies. God told me to have them so...." and eats the fruit exactly as God intended her to, tempted by the snake exactly as God planned. And she was like, "Oh! I WANNA BONE ADAM. ADAM EAT THIS SO YOU KNOW WHAT BONING IS SO I CAN BONE YOU."
But then they were materially and metaphysically changed, so they couldn't stay in the Garden anymore. Less about casting out, more about God having to follow the Moral Metaphysical Laws that give him his power.
I was even taught it's not even that childbirth/periods/menstrual pain were punishments from God. They are just natural results of sexual reproduction and the part where God says that's gonna happen now isn't him giving Eve a curse, just kinda God giving Eve some sex ed. Since she'll need it.
Basically, God couldn't tell Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, and in fact was morally obligated to tell them not to, because doing so would cause suffering and death. But the suffering and death aren't a punishment from God, they're just facts about the world that become real when you know about them, but you have to know about them and experience them in order to know and experience good things also, and become closer to being a god yourself, and God wanted us to have good things, so he wanted us to eat that fruit. Which is why he put it there.
So very much like leaving water out for a cat who thinks they're being naughty but actually you just want your cat to be hydrated.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles observed: “This suggested contrast between a sin and a transgression reminds us of the careful wording in the second article of faith: ‘We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression’ (emphasis added). It also echoes a familiar distinction in the law. Some acts, like murder, are crimes because they are inherently wrong. Other acts, like operating without a license, are crimes only because they are legally prohibited. Under these distinctions, the act that produced the Fall was not a sin—inherently wrong—but a transgression—wrong because it was formally prohibited. These words are not always used to denote something different, but this distinction seems meaningful in the circumstances of the Fall.”
And before any baby Mormons come in here like, "nuh uh!" about any part of this, your "eternal truths" have been so watered down in the past several decades by leadership trying to seem mainstream and cling to hemorrhaging membership. Y'all don't even know your theology anymore half the time, and what's worse is it's just as toxic as ever but like 200% less interesting. I like Mormonism better when they're proudly declaring Bigfoot is Cain and talking about how John the Beloved already has an immortal body and has been wandering the world for 2000 years and confidently claiming he was the stranger who helped them fix a tire that one time.
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mavrintarou · 15 days
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[3:45PM] Suna Rintarou (prequel of DD) [3]
I started a part-time job so my writing and posting will slow down tremendously. Hopefully, I'll get inspired lol. If you are new, this is the 3 part, please go back and read the initial post, and prequel - parts 1, and 2. You can find those chapters here
Warning: none, angst/hurt & leading to comfort Note: There is a time jump, hopefully, I don't confuse you guys
Prequel (part 2)
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Rin realized he found himself watching Y/n sleep more often than usual. He never understood romantic films where the man watches the girl sleep, often thinking how creepy they were.
He didn’t care that at the moment he was doing the same thing, watching Y/n sleep like a little creeper. All that mattered to him was seeing Y/n asleep beside him safe and sound.
Rin still could not believe the wild roller coaster he and about 300 other passengers went through less than 72 hours ago.
It was one thing to be surprised to discover that Y/n was the pilot of the plane he was flying to Thailand for a tournament.
Four months ago, he would have waved at her like a hopeless romance and shown everyone they were lovers.
But it has been four months since Rintarou broke everything off with Y/n.
Everything has been a mess since that day and nothing was going right.
With each ticking second his conscience questions whether he made the right decision. Was it impulsive or was he right?
All he wanted was to make them official, he wanted the right to call her his girlfriend and show her off. He also wanted her to take him home to her place.
He wanted a home with her.
But he got the sense she didn’t want to share much of her life with him. 
He began questioning her about when she would cancel plans or tell him she would no longer be coming home that day and be gone for days on end without communication.
He respected her busy career and work schedule, but he couldn’t help but feel left out of her life.
They had been seeing each other for almost four months, he was ready for the next phase and thought they were both on the same page.
When he initiated and asked her to be his girlfriend, she did not consider his request, immediately turning him down.
“I’m sorry… I can’t… I thought you understood, Rin?”
Like a light switch, anger consumed him. He threw the comforters off and stalked naked around his room to search for his boxers. “Understood?” he mimicked her tone, he wiped towards her with hurt and pain written on his face. “What is there to understand when you don’t tell me anything?”
“What do you mean? I tell you when I’m done with work, I make time on my off days to meet with you. What is it, Rin? What is it that you want?” Y/n kept her voice leveled, not wanting to meet his energy.
“I want you!” he shouted, throwing his hands up, “I want you to be mine, Y/n.” He inhaled sharply, “I want everything there is out there to want. I want to know where you are at all times because I can’t help but be anxious you might be with someone else when you are not with me. I want to know what you are thinking about and if I even cross your mind at all because you are always on mine. I want to tell every damn hot-blooded male out there you are mine, fuck – even the women too because you’re fucken amazing.” His breath shook as he slowly took a deep breath. “I want to not have this terrible feeling that I’m not good enough for you…” he choked, “I feel like I’m being childish, wanting you to only look my way, wanting you to only want me… want you in every way possible. But I feel like it’s one-sided…”
He felt foolish pouring out his childish feelings. He couldn’t even look at her at this point.
To make matters worse, Y/n hadn’t spoken a word. She had not attempted at all to assure him that she too wanted him.
“I think we should end this, it is obvious you do not feel the same way for me,” he muttered, “please see your way out.” He turned his heels and headed straight to his bathroom.
When he came out after a hot bath almost an hour later, she was gone, every trace of her gone.
He stared out the air plane window, zoning out until something was held in front of him, a paper bag.
“Our captain has asked me to deliver this to you.” The young flight attendants informed with a smile.
Rin accepted it and opened the bag.
It was snacks he and Y/n enjoyed eating together. At the bottom of the bag was a piece of paper inside.
I hope you have been well.
He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
He missed her dearly.
Reaching for his bag, he began searching for stuff he could give back to Y/n. “Excuse me,” he called the flight attendant, “do you have pen and paper?” She returned with the items he requested.
As he was about to signal the flight attendant again, the plane suddenly jerked and trembled violently before it suddenly veering sharply to the left, causing standing passengers to lose their balance.
Y/n’s voice came over the intercom with a vague announcement, immediately ordering all passengers to fasten their seatbelts.
Rin could not mistake the uneasiness in her tone and nor did he miss the looks on the flight attendants' faces as they quickly shuffled around, making sure all passengers followed the announcement.  
Quickly fastening his seatbelt, unknowingly holding his breath.
Talk to me Y/n, Rin silently prayed to himself.
No one could have anticipated encountering a situation typically happening only in films. The lights inside the plane started flickering, and the aircraft continued to sway as if struggling to remain airborne. This prompts passengers to demand an explanation.
Rin looked down at his watch and began counting.
It was the longest five minutes of his life before he heard Y/n’s voice.
“This is your pilot Y/n, we will be making an emergency landing shortly here in Singapore, please remain seated and keep your seat belt fastened until further notice.”
Thirty minutes later, the plane landed on the tarmac and moved towards the many flashing vehicles.
At last, an announcement was made, except this time it was not Y/n’s voice. “This is your co-captain speaking, I sincerely apologize for the sudden change and inconvenience. There has been an emergency medical situation and I ask everyone to please remain seated until further notice. Another announcement will be made as soon as you can exit the aircraft, there will be gate agents ready to assist and get you on the next flight to Thailand.”
Outside of the aircraft ambulances and other medical services were waiting outside.
Rin’s eyes widen as he catches a glimpse of Y/n rushing alongside the stretcher that is being hauled into an ambulance.
.
Rin and his team boarded the next flight to Thailand. His mind remained clouded and hazy as he awaited Y/n’s text response, any response from her. During the game, he found himself sidelined for most of it, as his coached noticed his lack of mental focus. The moment EJP Raijin was declared champions, Rin rushed to the locker room to check his phone.
He has never been so relieved to see her name on his screen.
I’m in Thailand at XXX Hotel. Dinner?
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“Usually, on long flights lasting 6 hours or more, there are three pilots, but this time, there were four due to the larger aircraft. It was my co-pilot’s and my turn to swap and rest. Thirty minutes after falling asleep, I heard him call my name, gasping that he was experiencing chest pains,” Y/n recounted, rubbing her face with her hand as she relived the moment. “He was having a cardiac arrest,” Y/n pushed the food on her plate around, not having much of an appetite. She described how she administered CPR to her colleague while simultaneously giving commands to the other pilot to request an emergency landing. “An as if that wasn’t challenging enough, we flew into a flock of birds that caused one of our engines to blow out,” Y/n explained, her expression reflecting extreme fatigue as she recount the situation on the plane. “The plane got out of control so I had to quickly switch and gain control in the air until we landed in Singapore.” She smiled tiredly at Rin, “he’s okay if you’re wondering.”
“That’s good, but are you okay?” Rin cared more for her well-being than the others. He too lost his appetite, pushing his food around. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m just… exhausted. It’s been a long four months…” she tightened her fingers around his. “Long four months of training and… without you.”
Rin could only maintain eye contact with her in silence before softly inquiring, “what are you trying to say…?”
“I’m saying that I have missed you, Rintarou. I have missed you every single day,” Y/n answered earnestly.
A deep sigh escaped from his lips, as though he had been holding it in for quite some time before they curved into a smile. “I missed you too,” he admitted.
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In the brief period he’s known her, she has consistently been a sound sleeper, likely due to her hectic work routine.
But at this moment, he could tell she was deeply asleep as she didn’t stir when he shifted himself so he could hold her. His heart rate eased as she nestled closer into his warmth. The tip of her nose pressed lightly against his nipple, erecting his nub as she unconsciously rubbed against it.
He hist softly, cursing silently in his head. Counting backward from one hundred, he distracts his mind with other thoughts to distract himself.
He found it hard to grasp the reality of her presence beside him. After dinner, there was no way he was going to part from her.
He held on to the end of her shirt like a lost puppy, “stay with me.”
Y/n reached for his hand, holding it tightly, “I’m so tired, I’m ready to fall asleep on my feet.”
“Your place or mine, I don’t care, your call.” Rin stepped closer and cupped her cheek, “I just want to be wherever you are.”
They came back to hers. Rin noticed her small luggage and a handful of her belongings spread out on the desk.
Y/n began stripping her clothes off, leaving only her panties and sports bra on. Rin could feel his face heat up as he turned away.
“I’m just getting comfortable, don’t worry I won’t take advantage of you,” she teased, slipping into the bed. “Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get in?”
He stripped down to his boxers briefs and slipped in, he might as well get comfortable with her too.
“Are you afraid I’ll bite you? Why are you so far away from me? Are you lying about missing me?”
Y/n was tugged into Rin’s arm as they tightly locked around her. “I would lie about many things but missing you isn’t one of them.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, “sleep, you can barely keep your eyes open.”
“Rin.”
He hummed watching her close her eyes before she whispered, “I like you.”
Minutes later, her breathing steadied, and she relaxed in his embrace. Rin couldn’t pinpoint when he started noticing the small intricacies about her. Like the tiny beauty mark at the outer corner of her left eye, or how her green eyes occasionally shifted to yellow in the sunlight. He observed how her eyes crinkled when she smiled widely and how she would quickly use a hand to cover her smile. He longed to reach out and smooth the wrinkles on her forehead when she was deeply focused on something.
He found himself missing her every second of the day whenever she wasn’t by his side, and every little thing seemed to remind him of her. Whether it was spotting someone with the same shade of green eyes or hearing or seeing an airplane in the sky, thoughts of Y/n would flood his mind.
Every little thing about Y/n came down to one thing, he was hopelessly in love with her.
.
For the past five minutes, Y/n had been observing the man sleeping beside her. She couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes and how he seemed to have lost weight, his cheeks appearing sunken.
She had noticed her weight loss and general disinterest since their fallout, believing she was the only one suffering. As her fingers lightly brushed his bangs aside, she pondered whether he, too, might have been enduring similar struggles.
After she left his place that day, regret weighed heavily in her heart ever since. She has never felt rejected and hurt as much as Rin telling her to leave his place.
She distracted herself with work, taking on additional shifts until one day she was greeted by someone she least expected, her old boss, the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Specialty Force.
“We need you to come back,” was the first thing he said. “We have a project and you are the only one who can lead it and carry it out.”
Pursuing aviation had always been Y/n’s passion and dream, so joining the military straight out of school seemed like the optimal choice for her. In a sense, she was achieving two goals at once: pursuing her passion while also upholding the long-standing family tradition of military service spanning decades.  
A year ago, she would have eagerly accepted the mission, always eager for a fresh challenge. But now, she found herself struggling to find her voice. Accepting the mission meant being away for an extended period – ranging from at least six months to two years or more.
Y/n couldn’t understand why she was hesitating.
A part of her was her pride.
She is reminded of a painful past incident that had her dismissed with an uncharacterized discharge. After she returned to the civilian world, she was pulled into commercial aviation to maintain a part of her passion.
But that wasn’t it either.
At last, Rin’s face came to her mind.
Everything has changed since she met Rin.  
He was only meant to be a distraction. Their relationship was never meant to have gone this far or deep.
She wasn’t supposed to care for him, let alone, formed a bond with him.
Her time in the military and her specialized field compelled her to prioritize her duty over settling down, understanding that investing in something that might only lead to heartbreak was not in her best interest. Even in her current time, she was always on the go, never settling in one spot for long, she was convinced a relationship wouldn’t survive if one partner was always gone.
This is why she steered clear of committing to a relationship or remaining attached to someone for an extended duration.
Y/n had refused to acknowledge her feelings for Rintarou. She viewed their interactions as mere entertainment whenever she was back at home. She enjoyed his pursuit and the undivided attention he gave her. She has never had anyone give her as much attention as Rin had. At first, she believed it was because he was younger than her and was infatuated with the thought of chasing and finding interest in an older woman.
However, as they spent more time together, the hours slipping by unnoticed, she gradually found herself caving into him, basking in the warmth of his arms and feeling her heart beat in sync with his.
She had never yearned for someone’s company as intensely as she did for his. Simply being in his presence was sufficient to make her feel at ease and rejuvenate. He filled a void in her life that she hadn’t realized existed.
Her heart and mind started yearning for every detail about him. In a crowded place, she’d catch a glimpse of men similar in height, instantly reminded of him. The sight of the color yellow would remind her of his eyes that glowed whenever they locked with hers. She began following his volleyball team to stay on top of updates about him and his professional life.
She thought she was the only one who was feeling these aftereffects.
Therefore, it was a hasty choice on her part to accept the mission, driven by the desire to distract herself from him and put physical distance between them.
She was simply a coward who was hopelessly in love with him.
. . .
E/n: I'm happy to explain anything you might be confused about, or hopefully my next part will explain/answer it.
>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy
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gotham-daydreams · 7 months
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i’ve been rereading your not [] series and WOWOWOWOWOW i love it sm. the writing? mwah chefs kiss 🤌🏽 the soul crushing loneliness is felt throughout the whole series and as the reader i can really feel every single emotion y/n goes through while reading it’s amazing. i’m excited for part three to see how it all goes down most importantly y/n’s reaction. i can only imagine the intense anger they’ll probably have after getting taken back to the manor. they’ll be angry cuz of the kidnapping thing but also it took them going missing for their family to acknowledge them. that’s a whole different type of anger and frustration. trying practically all your life to get your family’s attention, to them notice your there, all for it to be vain but the moment you’re gone and don’t exist, just like they’ve been treating your whole life, suddenly they notice. they felt guilty after realizing the damage they’ve done to you and just NOW they want to fix even though you’ll probably be carrying the trauma of the neglect for life so what’s the point of trying to fix it now? especially at this big age? the anger y/n must feel at this is insane. there’s also the fact that if y/n *does* want to give in to the sudden affection there’s that fear they’ll just leave again. they get kidnapped, imprison in what was their once home with high security, are being bomb with a bunch of love from their family they’ve never received before and then suddenly it’s gone, all their left with is just their freedom being taken away. y/n most likely feels intense anger, maybe even hatred, at their current actions but also fear of their future ones. it’s the perfect soup of angst and mannnn i’m eating it up.
sorry for the ramble i just wanted to let out my thoughts on your series but to sum it up i LOOVE your series and i’m patiently waiting for your next chapter to continue to see what of y/n’s fate becomes 🫶🏽
I'm so glad you're enjoying the series!!! And oh my god I love your interpretation as well!!!
As I've kind of stated/hinted at through various posts (I promise a masterlist will be made soon because there is a lot of things now that are piling up-), I don't really tend for Y/n in the "Not [ ]" series to get kidnapped just yet (not in part 3 anyways), but I think we all know that it's bound to happen considering things. And it will!
Honestly, I think a lot of people are kind of overestimating how 'loud' Y/n's anger, frustration, hurt, and pain will be in part 3, and it does make me a little worried about the reception of it. However, depending on one's interpretation, what the reader does instead can make the angst that much heavier. Because, well. They don't get that 'relief' that can sometimes come with shouting out your problems to the world- especially to the person that caused you such pain for such a long time, as it is also kind of acts like an unmistakable "hey!!! i'm fucked up and it's all your fault!!! i'll never forgive you for this and want nothing to do with you!!!" message. Though it is a mix within itself.
However, you are right, honestly!
Y/n in the start of the "Not [ ]" series is upset enough. Not only towards the family, but all the time they feel like they've wasted to try and just have a chance to just... get something they never had. All they wanted was a relationship, some kind of connection with anyone in the family besides Alfred, anything. Which is also mentioned in "Not Tonight" as there is that repeating theme/mention of Y/n doing too much but receiving so little, if not, nothing at all, for their efforts.
So just knowing that — as you've said — it basically took them essentially 'giving up' and being gone for months, for the Batfam to notice them? To try and even attempt to give not even half of what the reader had tried to before? Yet was rejected at every twist and turn? Up until this point?
Yeah, no. Y/n is plenty pissed, and incredibly hurt. Among other things as it's just... too little too late. Way too late.
Yet why I also say that I feel as if others overestimate how Y/n is going to express their anger, and how loud about it they're going to be, is because... well- this is a small kind of character spoiler, I guess, but they feel so detached from the family that the very thought of the Batfam even looking for them, is unfathomable. They don't realize at first how the Batfam is looking for them (despite the obvious signs), because it's never happened before, not even on accident.
They never got saved when they got into fights. They never got help when shit got tough. They were never heard, seen or even acknowledged in the house besides Alfred unless they initiated the 'conversation'. Why would they think that anyone who's acted to them like that, and wouldn't even let them exist in their space for a few minutes, go out searching for them? To put in even the smallest effort towards finding them — and because they were worried for Y/n's health no less — and not because they were the absolute last resort? They wouldn't. They don't.
It's a part of why part 3 goes the way it does, but again-its a part. The other pieces make it bad as well. Though that's all the spoilers I'm willing to give on that, which will go more indepth in part 3 itself (hopefully).
Basically, Y/n is a mess. Everyone is in a way, and that's what makes everything go to hell.
Y/n is angry, yes, but it starts quiet before it gets loud. Along with everything else.
So if and when Y/n does get kidnapped... hm.
I did say in a previous ask that depending on how it goes that Y/n would fight back if they're able to and such depending on how the kidnapping itself goes. And though I won't say much on Y/n's reaction in case it does go into future parts if more than 4 are made, I will say that you're right to assume that Y/n is incredibly pissed. You're also right on the whole idea with them being worried about the family basically neglecting them all over again, when everything is said and done. And that's great!
It's a mix. A whole push-and-pull deal where, yeah, even if more shit hits the fan- their own trauma will, in a way, protect them as well as make their life more miserable than it already is. Y/n'll probably never be able to naturally get close with the Batfam, not without 'help' anyway.
But these are yanderes. Their definition of 'help' is a little... twisted.
Though, yeah! And don't worry about rambling- I clearly do the same seeing as I think this whole post is almost just as long as what you wrote. So it's fine! If anything I really did enjoy reading it! Seeing all these different interpretations, and thoughts about the series and other things is incredibly interesting and I love it a lot! Especially with Part 3 on the rise.
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choicesbookclub · 4 months
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12 Days of Choices Special Event
Not sure who is planning to participate, but I figured I'd start this thread to talk about it and share info for anyone that is playing.
If you find the hidden item, please share where and when (what chapter + scene)! All clues and hints welcomed. I'll try to update this post with whatever info I see so that it's all in one place for anyone checking in quick!
Day One: December 12
Book: Mother of the Year
Chapter 1
Scene: MC's daughter has the option for the uniform. The Partridge in a Pair Tree is on the stairs in the background.
Day Two: December 13
Book: The Duchess Affair
Hint: In chapters 1-3
Chapter: beginning of chapter 2
Scene: The location is the breakfast room, in front of the large painting and next to the Christmas tree.
Thanks @lizzybeth1986
Day Three: December 14
Book: Bachelorette Party
Hint: "3 French hens, 3 blind mice, 3 is the number you'll want to check twice "
Chapter 3
Scene: The Abracadabra Lounge, right at the front of the room.
Thanks @lizzybeth1986
Day Four: December 15
Book: The Cursed Heart
Hint: "You didn't hear this from me, but it's in a prime number chapter greater than 3!"
Helpful Math: Prime Numbers include: 5,7,11,13,17,19
Chapter 5
Scene: At the stables talking to Sir Montgomery, perched on the ceiling
Thanks @lizzybeth1986
Day Five: December 16
Book: Ms. Match
Hint: "Five Gold Rings: Starting from the left, which finger is your ring finger? 🖐️"
Chapter 2
Scene: walking home from the bar with jack, they very impressively transformed a building
Thanks @alasforher
Day Six: December 17
Book: Untameable
Hint: "Six Geese A-Laying: (four) The perfect amount of geese to have is four! 🪿"
Chapter 4
Scene: The stables, at the very beginning of the chapter.
Thanks, @lizzybeth1986
Day Seven: December 18
Book: The Unexpected Heiress
Hint: "Seven Swans A-Swimming: You'll spot them right away! 🏊"
Chapter 1
Scene: On the ship, immediately after the MC is introduced and says goodbye to her mother and brother.
Thanks, @lizzybeth1986
Day Eight: December 19
Book: Slow Burn
Hint: "Eight Maids A-Milking: You'll only need two maids to get this job done. 🥛"
Chapter 2
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More to Come
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effortandmore · 1 year
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worth all your while (ch.1) | knj x reader
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summary: you know kim namjoon from your work, but running into him outside of seoul tips your relationship into new territory and your world upside down. eventually, you wonder how there can be a million ways to say "i love you," and namjoon, a literal genius, can't manage a single one when it comes to you. or: 5 times namjoon can't make himself say "i love you" but thinks you understand him anyway (you do not), and then the one time he gets it right
pairing: namjoon x f!reader
rating: explicit (18+ please)
genre: smut, fluff, light angst, au: famous, but not an idol
warnings: smut, swearing, alcohol, here are the specific smut tags for this chapter: kissing, penetrative sex, fingering, spanking, sex in an airport bathroom (do not recommend, fwiw)
word count: ~5.5k
a/n: idk what to say! i needed to write a fic for yoongi's birthday, but i can't for some reason, so i'm writing this. i hope you enjoy 💜 i'll update chapters probably weekly, maybe bi-weekly, isn't it fun when some things in life are mysteries? the title is from "static" by steve lacy - i love him. thank you as always to the cabal: @ugh-yoongi, @hot-soop, and @the-boy-meets-evil for putting your eyes on this for me. love you all. this is posted to ao3 here if you like to read fics there.
next chapter
Unpopular opinion: airports are magical places. 
You didn’t always think that, but you’ve changed. Opinion swayed. All it took was one delay on a layover in London for you to start singing a different tune. 
Seoul to anywhere feels like a long flight lately. You love it there, but getting out, back to where you’re from, takes literal days. The short break at Heathrow is welcome, a chance to move around a little before you get on another almost ten hour flight. It seems like a nothing thing, to wander through the concourses and shops after you’ve made it through the customs check. Each time you’re here is the same as the last. Until it’s not. You’ve done it a hundred times: sniff different scents at Jo Malone, look for a bag you shouldn’t spend the money on at Louis Vuitton, talk yourself out of buying duty-free scotch because you know you’d never drink it in front of your mother anyway… Maybe on the way home, you think (but you never do).
“Excuse me.” You’re staring at the Balvenie you can’t really afford, thoughts drifting, when someone startles you. 
“Sorry,” you mumble, stepping to the side. 
There’s a man there, right there. He’s stepped up close so that your arms are practically touching. He’s tall, with dark hair under a beanie, an expensive jacket that’s made to look like it isn’t, and his face hidden under a mask that isn’t required here. There’s something about him, even though you can only see a stripe of his face, that looks familiar. For some reason, neither of you move; he keeps staring at the thousand-pound bottle of scotch, and you keep staring at him. 
“You can’t drink it on the plane, you know?” You say it more than you ask it, and of course he knows. Everyone knows. But you see the corners of his eyes crinkle a little and you think he’s smiling under the mask. He finally turns to look at you. 
“Was thinking I’d get it as a gift,” he explains, shrugging his shoulders.
“Nice gift,” you remark.
“Yeah…” he replies, turning his attention back to the bottle. “It’s pretentious, isn’t it?”
And at that, you smile. “Maybe a little. Depends on who it’s for.” 
“No one special.” 
“It’s none of my business,” you say, “but I wouldn’t buy ‘no one special’ a hundred-pound bottle of scotch, let alone a thousand-pound bottle.”
The man laughs, and you notice another guy walk up, right next to him. He’s bigger, older, and way too serious looking for your taste. They seem to have a silent conversation and then the would-be whisky buyer turns back to you. “Time for my flight,” he says. “Thanks for the advice.” 
“Anytime,” you nod, still smiling even though you can’t tell anymore if he’s smiling back. Can’t hurt to be polite. 
After he goes, you realize you aren’t going to buy the scotch, either, and it’s probably about time for your flight, too, so you start the scramble to your gate.
One of the bad things about flying all the time is that you feel like you see more than your fair share of delays. And this trip is no different. When you make it to the gate, you can sense the panic before you even see the notification. There’s a particular brand of hysteria that sets in with people when their flights are delayed, and it’s amplified with inter-continental flights in your experience. All of the things that make airports romantic and interesting are the same things that make people think they can behave any way they want and it won’t matter. It's like upon entering, people think they get carte blanche to be raging assholes to the poor airline counter guy who’s just trying to make sure everyone gets where they’re going and probably only makes enough to barely pay his rent. 
So, you know before you’re told that there’s a delay, and you can tell by the level ten panic around you that it’s probably a long one. It’s confirmed when you see the headlines across one of the large televisions at the gate. Big storm off the coast of the Eastern US. All flights are delayed from what you can tell. Yours looks to have a delay of about six hours, but you know from experience it could be more. You’ll just have to wait and see. You’re lucky, you want to get home, but there’s really not a huge rush on your end, so you can wait it out if you need to. 
There’s a quiet spot at a gate with no pending flight, near yours and a few of the other gates with international flights scheduled to leave. You hate sitting, knowing you’ve done it for a half a day already and have another long flight (eventually) in front of you, but you don’t know what else to do and at least you have a couple books in your carry on. 
Maybe thirty minutes passes of you reading when you look up, just to see how things are settling around you as people start to either (like you) become resigned to the fact that they’re not going anywhere for a while, or let their anger hit a fever pitch with the gate agent. 
You see a familiar fancy jacket waiting near the ticket counter, his friend from earlier having an animated chat with a woman who doesn’t seem like she speaks enough Korean to be keeping up. Fancy Coat is watching, looking amused and not chiming in, even though you know firsthand he can speak English perfectly well, and could probably be a help to his travel companion. 
Because you’re one of those people who can never do things as subtly as you think you do, you’re caught out—Nice Jacket turns his head and his eyes lock with yours before you can look away; he knows you’re watching. He tilts his head, eyes widening with what you hope is amusement and not terror that you were looking. Slowly, he brings his hand up and waves at you, then gives you a gesture like he wants you to wait for something before he leans in and says something to his friend. 
You turn back to your book, embarrassed. 
A considerable chunk of whatever willpower you have is used in Not Looking when you hear (and feel) someone plop into the chair next to you. 
“Good book?” Nice Jacket asks. 
“Mmhmm,” you murmur, trying not to make things any weirder than you’ve already made them by staring. It is, in fact, not a good book. But your colleague wrote it, and he’s the special kind of narcissist that will ask you what you thought of it every day you see him until you provide some sort of satisfactory feedback kissing his ass. 
“That guy’s a jackass,” he comments. 
And that gets your attention. You turn to him, a little surprised. “You know him?” 
Nice Jacket nods, eyebrows raised. “Do you not remember me?” he asks. 
“From the duty-free shop?”
He laughs, louder than he means to judging by how he stops himself and looks around self-consciously. “No… I think you’ve interviewed me before…” 
Things begin to snap into place rapidly. Because now that he says it, he goes from looking vaguely familiar to being instantly recognizable. You don’t really keep up with him or his music, but you have interviewed him, when your asshole colleague had passed one of his assignments to your desk, assuming you’d “like that kind of thing.” 
At the time, you’d tried not to let yourself assume the worst about what he meant, and you did the interview over Zoom with no protest to your coworker or your boss. It wasn’t the kind of thing your magazine usually wrote about, but the article was focused on his art collection, and it gave you a good opportunity to learn something you wouldn’t have in a gossip magazine, and a chance to look good for your boss. The whole thing hadn’t lasted more than eight minutes, professional and easier than most of your interviews. Since then, you’ve been in the same room as him a few times at events you’d covered, exchanged greetings and appreciations on both sides for the article, and obviously, you know who he is. 
He’s famous, but not like… idol famous. Stage name RM, he’s a rapper and producer who works with a small collective. You see him in magazines and on TV, his popularity growing over the last few years less for his music and more for his work in art preservation. 
“Oh my god…” you say, closing your book and dropping your voice to a whisper. “Kim Namjoon. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize it was you.” 
“Good,” he says with a wink. “That’s the point.” He gestures vaguely to his beanie and his mask and the sunglasses he took off when he sat down next to you. 
“How are you?” you ask, because it’s polite, and that’s what you should do, even though you’re not even sure why he’s sitting here speaking to you. 
“Alright,” he says, but you notice he seems a little amused. 
“What?”
“Nothing.” He raises his hands defensively. 
“No, what? Why’s it funny to ask how you’re doing?” 
Namjoon doesn’t say anything for a second, just watches you with his head cocked. “I guess no one ever really asks me that,” he says. 
You scoff. “That’s ridiculous.” 
What’s more ridiculous is that you’re sitting in Heathrow having a conversation with this sort of famous person who you kind of know, but not in a “run into you in the airport and have a casual chat” kind of way. Or maybe it is like that, because that’s exactly what happens. 
You talk about how he’s doing (pretty well but tired from traveling and ready to be settled in his hotel). Then you talk about your asshole coworker and his not-very-good book. You laugh at a story he tells you about said coworker, and you feel your face heat up when he says how relieved he was that you interviewed them instead of anyone else from your magazine, and how much he’d liked talking to you that day. He’s bluntly honest with you about his preference for doing interviews with Korean-language publications, which you completely understand. He tells you that he didn’t mind doing an interview for your small English-language one because you at least greeted him in Korean and tried out a couple questions in the language. 
“It’s my job to make people feel comfortable,” you say flippantly. It’s true, it is your job, and you talk to a lot of sort-of-famous people and their people, so you know that at the end of the day, they’re just people. You get better results and better interviews when you treat them as such. When you tell Namjoon that, you can see him grinning under his mask, you can tell for sure this time by the way the corners of his eyes pinch. 
“That’s a nice way to think of it,” he finally says. “It’s good to be treated like Namjoon and not RM sometimes.” 
“Happy to be of service,” you say. 
Before you can say more, you’re interrupted by his friend, who you now understand isn’t exactly a friend but a manager or a bodyguard or some combination of both. He explains that it’ll be a few hours, that there aren’t any other flight options, and that he and Namjoon can go make themselves a little more comfortable in the airport lounge. It’s spoken like a suggestion, but the way he side-eyes you as he speaks makes you certain it’s more of a directive. Namjoon nods along until his manager tells him, in hushed Korean, that he can’t just sit out in the open talking to strangers. 
“She’s not a stranger,” he says, clearly pleased with himself. 
After a brief explanation that you’re an acquaintance (which is how Namjoon puts it and is a little more generous than you would have been), his manager lightens up, and even keeps his mouth shut when Namjoon invites you to come with them to the lounge. He does, however, insist on walking alongside you when you agree to go with them, making Namjoon walk a little ways in front of you both. Better safe than sorry, you suppose, even though no one seems to be paying any attention to the three of you. 
At the lounge, his manager has a brief conversation with the airline employee at the desk, and then the three of you are whisked through the entrance, past the service desk and the bar, and into a small, private room at the back of the lounge. Namjoon puts his bag down and moves to the coffee machine, pausing to ask if you want anything as he fumbles with the stack of cups there. Cute. The professional in you hates that you even had that thought pass through your mind, but the rest of you doesn’t mind. He is cute, he gets paid to be cute (at least partially), he knows he’s cute. You have eyes, so obviously you see it, too. 
His manager unceremoniously pulls an eye mask and headphones out of his bag, seats himself in the corner, and announces he’s going to try and sleep and to wake him up if anything interesting happens, leaving the two of you essentially on your own.
When you have your drinks, you pull your masks off, settle into loungers in the opposite corner of the room, and start talking again. It comes easily between the two of you—you’re used to asking questions and he’s used to answering them. He’s going to New York for a “personal schedule,” and you don’t ask for more details because you know he wouldn’t give them to you anyway. His whole face lights up when he tells you about an exhibit at the Whitney he’s hoping to catch, about how he’s willing to suffer through the jet lag for a glimpse at a certain Hockney that he probably won’t ever see in Korea. 
Eventually, the tables turn a little, and he starts asking you about your own life. It’s less interesting (in your opinion) than his, but he’s a good listener, and asks good questions. He seems really excited (and remembers, to your surprise) that you’re an arts reporter, asks what you’re writing about lately, asks if you’ve seen anything new that caught your eye, even asks you for gallery recommendations around Seoul. You have a few, and he actually jots down notes in his literal notebook while you speak, claiming he’ll forget which you recommended if he doesn’t write it down. Cute again. 
Hours pass, and you’d swear it’s only been a few minutes. It’s been a long time since you talked with someone like this—leisurely, candidly (or as candid as he can be, anyway). You get food brought to you by an airline employee, and you know it’s an upgrade from what’s being served in the rest of the lounge, but Namjoon isn’t phased at all. You suppose this is his normal, so there’s nothing out of the ordinary for him. 
“I can’t believe you get special food,” you say when you’ve finished. 
“Special food?” 
“Well yeah, they’re not serving anything other than soup and crackers out there. Maybe carrot sticks.” 
“Oh…” he says quietly, brow furrowed, like he’s really thinking about it. “Do you think I should ask them to bring barbeque to everyone else?” You actually think he means it. So fucking cute, you think. 
After you talk him out of wielding his influence, mostly using the argument that it would be an immense amount of work for the airline staff, you settle in again. He produces a blanket from a cabinet against one of the walls of the room, and it’s an obvious sign this whole experience is totally typical for him. When he hands you the blanket, you can’t help it, you smile at him and probably look a little smitten. You might just be. 
You offer him part of the blanket, and he accepts, pulling it over his lap and asking you if he took too much. (He didn’t). You talk more, and you feel relaxed with him—it’s so easy to forget he’s who he is and you’re who you are. It’s just like getting to know any other casual acquaintance better except he’s stupid good-looking and you start to notice that your faces are a lot closer together than they started out as you talk about Marci Kwon and the interesting work that the Asian American Art Initiative is doing. It was the last article you’d written, and you’re surprised to hear he’s read it. 
You’re saying something about non-hierarchical modes of presenting research in art when you realize he’s not listening anymore, just staring at you intently. You’ve been talking a lot. For a while… Maybe talking too much; maybe he’s bothered.
“Are you okay?” you ask. 
His eyes widen like he’s the one who’s been caught-out this time. “I’m really good,” he says, almost like he’s surprising himself. 
It makes you beam. “Good,” you say. “I’ve liked talking to you.” 
He nods. “I’ve liked talking to you, too. You have a lot to say.” 
The fact that you can feel his breath on your face when he speaks makes you certain that you’re sitting too close, that something is happening that probably shouldn’t be. It makes you forget that “you have a lot to say” isn’t always a good thing. You think that everything might sound good when it comes from his mouth, that even the worst insult would trickle out like honey. Your heart rate has picked up, you now notice, and you both keep just staring at each other—you don’t know why you don’t move or look away, it’s like you can’t even though you know you should. 
Namjoon’s eyes flick up behind you to where his manager is, and you can hear the man snoring, so you know he’s not aware at all of what’s happening right in front of him. 
“They don’t have cameras in here,” Namjoon says. “It’s why we come here.” 
You nod, nothing to say to that—you’re not even sure why he said it unless…
“Can I kiss you?”
That is the exact moment when every coherent and rational thought you have ever had rushes out of your brain like a waterfall. You’re not even sure how you manage to respond, but this very cute, very smart, very interesting person has just expressed interest in you of all people, and you’d be an idiot not to say yes. 
“Oh my god, please,” you say all in one hurried breath. 
And before you’re even finished, his lips are on yours. It’s soft, more chaste than you’d expected, but it doesn’t stay that way when he nips at your bottom lip and licks into your mouth. One of his hands comes to the back of your neck, fingers teasing at your hair and pulling you closer as you practically melt into him. It’s a good kiss, a fantastic kiss, and all you can think is more, more, more as the two of you try and do your best to be as close as you can over the armrests of the stupid lounge chairs. 
When you part, his eyes are a little wild, and you think yours must be, too. 
“I have to wake him up soon,” he says, looking past you. “It’s almost time for our flight.” 
You glance over your shoulder at his manager who’s still totally unaware of what’s happening around him, and then stand, offering a hand to Namjoon, too. 
It’s a rare moment of boldness, but something’s come over you, and you’re acting with very little thought as to what you’re doing and how stupid it probably is. “Come on,” you say, tugging him up. When he’s standing right in front of you, you put your hands on his chest and raise up on your tiptoes to whisper, “Let’s get out of here for a minute.” 
He wipes across his bottom lip with his thumb, pausing probably to think about what you’re implying, and then he bends to kiss you quickly before he agrees. “Okay, yeah, let’s go.” 
It’s not your fault that you know where the ‘family restroom’ is—you passed by it on the way to the back of the lounge and you notice things, you remember things. 
You hope he doesn’t think you do this kind of thing all the time, or ever, although you don’t know why you care what he thinks since you’re also willfully oblivious to any looks you might be getting from any passersby who see you tug him into the room behind you.
It’s sheer luck that your go-to travel outfit is a fairly basic knit dress. It takes him no time to have you pinned up against the door, lips on your neck, hand rucking up the front of your dress so that he can get a hand under your tights. God, it feels good. He feels good, large and solid and his fingers… fuck. They’re long and nimble and he’s clearly not new to this, but neither are you, so you roll your hips forward and moan at the contact when he slips his hand under your tights. 
“You’re already wet,” he says, surprised, pulling his head back so he can look at you properly, his fingertips skimming between your legs. 
You nod and pull him back in to kiss you again—you only know a few things about Kim Namjoon, but you already know you like talking to him, and now you know you like his lips on yours even more than that. 
“Come here,” you say, and slide away from the door, pulling him with you so that you can bend over the small vanity where you can see yourselves in the mirror above it. He’s been polite, almost too nice for what you’re in the mood for, and you don’t know if he’ll take the initiative, so you lock eyes with him in the mirror and slide your tights down from under your dress, stepping out of them one leg at a time. 
In the mirror, you watch as he tentatively sticks a hand out to feel you again, groaning when his fingertips slide against you so easily. One, then quickly two fingers enter you, slowly moving in and out, and he studies your reflection, like he’s trying to learn what you like. It’s a lot of effort for a one-night stand in a Heathrow airline lounge. He pulls his joggers down; he’s already hard, feels big against your ass and the back of your thigh. 
“God, you’re gorgeous,” he sighs. It’s apparently not lost on him how you watch him in the mirror, pupils blown, because then he asks, “You want to watch me fuck you?” He winds the fingers of his free hand around a handful of your hair and tentatively pulls your head up so he can look you in the eye through the mirror. 
You watch him focus on you nodding and pulling your bottom lip between your teeth; he drops your hair as he stares. He has to know already how much you want it, but he makes you say it anyway. 
“Tell me you want to see me make you come,” he whispers into the back of your neck, breath hot against the shell of your ear. Behind you, he’s rolling on a condom that seems to have appeared out of nowhere—you wonder if he had one in his pocket ‘just in case.’
You smirk, widen your eyes, and nod again. “Please? Will you fuck me? I want—” You pause to turn your head over your shoulder and kiss him again. “I want to watch you make me come.” 
Holding onto your hip, he pushes his cock, thick and flushed, into you quickly; you don’t have much more time before his flight. 
He groans as he starts thrusting, pulling almost all the way out slowly before snapping back into you. 
“Oh shit…” you whisper each of the first few times he pushes into you.
Your head falls as he fucks you—It’s so good, he’s deep deep deep, and you feel so full, and you might cry it’s been so long since someone’s fucked you like this… But he wants your attention, so he brings a hand up and slaps you lightly along the back of your thigh to get you to look up. 
It wasn’t hard, but you’re barely acquaintances, so he seems to hesitate, looking to your reflection for reassurance. In return, you look him straight in the eye and let out a moan. 
“You wanted to watch, so watch,” he whispers. 
“Do it again... please,” you plead softly as you raise your head and push your hips back against him. 
He lifts the other hand and strikes the swell of your ass this time, harder than the first slap, making you suck in a breath. White knuckles grip the sides of the sink as your skin turns pink, but you’re still smirking and soaking wet, asking for more as he grips your hips to fuck you harder. 
“Harder… I need you… feels so good,” you pant. 
You move to lean on an elbow and bring your other hand down to your clit. His hand follows yours and moves it out of the way as he leans forward to whisper, “I thought you wanted me to make you come.”
“Then do it.”
Namjoon slows the movements of his hips to focus on you, rubbing circles over your clit with his fingertips and sucking on your neck, right against your pulse point, sending shivers along the length of your spine. 
He rolls his hips into her as you grind against him, whimpering quietly, “Fuck, Joon… yes… oh, fuck…” You trail off, not able to focus on anything except his hands and his cock. You don’t even care that you’re already using nicknames with him. 
“Finally got you to stop talking so much,” he teases as he works you nearer to orgasm. 
You’d laugh, okay with being teased, except you’re practically shaking now, close to release, so he puts more pressure on your clit and moves his cock in you a little less deep, hitting you exactly where you need him each time. 
God, you look good together. There’s a sweat sheen on your foreheads, his cheeks are painted with a rose blush, and your eyes are wide, watching yourself with curiosity in the mirror as you start to come. 
You’re close, so close, tightening on his cock as he lets go of your hip and puts a hand over your mouth just in time to muffle the loud cry you make when your orgasm hits. 
Your cunt pulses around him and he drags his hands slowly away from it and your mouth, back to your hips. 
“You ready?” he whispers.
“Good girl,” he affirms as you nod, and that absolutely shouldn’t have you ready to come on his cock again, but maybe you have a praise kink you didn’t know about. You whimper when he starts fucking into you again, resuming his previous faster pace.
It doesn’t take long for Namjoon to come after that, with you babbling nonsense about how good his cock is and begging for him to come inside you. He thrusts into you one last time and releases into the condom, watching in the mirror as you give him a satisfied grin and roll your hips with his. 
When he pulls out of you, he drops to his knees and kisses you where he’d left a handprint on your ass. It makes your breath hitch, feels too intimate for people barely know one another and who’ve just fucked in an airport bathroom. But then he pulls you up to standing, smoothing your dress around your legs. He grabs a bundle of toilet paper and hands it to you to wipe up. 
“Look at you,” you tease, “what a gentleman.” 
He pulls his joggers up and watches you flush the tissue while he discards the condom. You fiddle around for your tights and slide them on under your dress. 
When you’re finished, you lean against the sink and watch him—he’s cute like this: face still flushed, hair mussed, and most of all, he looks as nervous as you’re starting to feel. 
“I don’t do this kind of thing,” you say. Your voice is a little wobbly, and you wonder where any of the self-assurance you’d had earlier when you dragged him into the room has gone to.
Namjoon laughs, bright and dimpled, before he replies. “Fuck, me either. I mean… people sometimes… know who I am and I have to be careful.” The last words come out in a rush. 
“Careful how?” 
He looks fully embarrassed now. “LIke my manager is going to kick my ass when we walk out of here and… well, people back home would have a field day with this if someone saw.” 
You’re not even sure what to say to that. Because of course you know who he is, you get that he’s famous, but the thought of talking about this with anyone just seems… It’s not like it makes you look very good either, so you’d never. It would be professional suicide; you’d never be taken seriously again. You spit out the next words mindlessly, just trying to make it less awkward. “You think this was the ‘something interesting’ we were supposed to wake him up for?” Namjoon just looks at you like you’re nuts before you both burst into laughter. 
When you catch your breath again, you get a little more serious, your voice softer. “I’ll sign something. Whatever we should have done before, we can do it now, you can email me or whatever. God, this is crazy…” You trail off, consequences of what you’ve done starting to sink in. 
“Okay… Thank you,” he says. “I hate how awkward this is. I’m sorry.” 
You cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling a lot more vulnerable than you can ever remember feeling. Is he sorry that you did this together or is he sorry that it’s awkward? You don’t really know. Maybe it’s both. 
“This was a mistake,” you say without thinking, and his face falls. 
“You think that?” he asks quietly, stepping into your space and reaching out to stroke your arms gently. “Because I really don’t. I know things are complicated with me? But… I liked you when I met you for the interview, I liked you today, and I’d like to see you again. I really wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t think anything would come of it. I’m not that kind of guy.” 
“Aren’t all guys that kind of guy?” you ask, wondering if he’s even for real. 
“No,” he says. And you think he’s sincere. “Really. I’ve never done something like this before.” 
You nod, uncrossing your arms and letting your hands slide into his. “So, we should go though… You have a flight to catch, and I guess I have an NDA to sign.” You’re trying to tease, but you think you probably just sound fucking terrified. 
“Can I have your number?” he asks. 
“For the NDA,” you affirm, taking the phone he’s sticking out to you and typing in your contact info. 
“And for a date, maybe?” he says. And when you look up at him, he looks bashful, nervous even, as if you could ever say no to this man with a big brain and a dick to match who has just made you feel at least twelve new things in the last few hours. 
“I’ll be back in Seoul in two weeks,” you say, handing him his phone back. 
He smiles wide at that, and leans in to kiss your cheek. Cute again. 
“I’ll call you,” he says eagerly. “And someone will be in touch about the paperwork… Sorry again.” 
“Not your fault.” You shrug. “But you should head out first so it looks less weird, probably. I’ll freshen up for a minute and then be out in a bit.”
“Right,” he agrees. “Okay. So… I’ll see you in Seoul?”
You can’t help but be endeared to him; the fact that he seems to think you might actually not want to see him again makes you go all squishy inside. “It’s a date,” you confirm.
“Great! Okay… I’m gonna just… go now.” He points at the door, fumbling behind himself for the latch, like he doesn’t want to break eye contact with you. 
“Okay, Namjoon… It was good to run into you and…” You hate that you can’t say anything coherent, your sentence just ending in, “stuff.” 
He laughs and pulls his mask back on. “It was good to run into you and stuff, too.” 
Finally, he’s got the door unlocked, and before he slips back into the lounge he says, “I’m really going to call you, okay?” 
You aren’t sure why, but you believe him when he says it even though you know better, and all the weird feelings you’ve been having about him come together in a bright firework feeling in your chest. Something like hope, maybe. 
“Talk to you soon,” you say quietly. 
And then he’s gone, and you’re left breathless, wondering what you’ve just done.
next chapter
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nepenthean-sleep · 4 months
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griddlehark fic recs, part 5
hi happy end of 2023 here is part 5 of my griddlehark fic rec series. thank you everyone for your wonderful fics getting us through the alectopause 🖤🖤🖤 all fics here in this part are rated G or T, and tumblr usernames have been added if i could find them (sorry for the notification!). here is part 1 and part 3. M and E fic recs are here because tumblr: part 2, part 4, and part 6 (forthcoming).
carrion comfort, despair (not feast on thee) T - NotAFicWriter short post-ntn spec oneshot. it's a kiriona and harrow duking-it-out fic, very much in classic drearburh fashion (heed the tags). i love how gideon's perspective is written in this fic, her anger and grief is so satisfyingly done here. also this fic is tagged "kinda sexual wound fingering" which is hilarious, even if the fic isn't.
murphy's law T - kitahart / @punkwixes unfinished multi-chapter modern university au. harrow is a stage manager putting on a production of hamlet at her university. the dialogue is fucking hilarious. the tension between all the characters is so thick you could cut it with a knife. the prose is wonderful. unfortunately this fic has been unfinished for over two years, but the chapters that are available are an absolute treat.
was gonna die young (now i gotta wait for you honey) T - corpsesoldier / @corpsesoldier short post-ntn oneshot. harrow gives gideon her life back. i will never get tired of any of these kiriona/harrow fics.
loved for the first time (in what seems like forever) G - prettyaveragewhiteshark short oneshot set during gtn. a very sweet and fluffy fic with harrow's anguished confession of feelings and a kiss.
and a partridge in a pear tree T - strangehunger / @strangehunger long modern au oneshot. everyone works at a mall and there is a secret santa amongst the mall employees, and gideon ends up drawing harrow's name. as a former retail professional myself, so much of this fic brought back my fond (nightmarish) memories of working during the holidays. this fic was very funny and the ending was cute and unexpected.
a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light not rated - baladric short post-ntn oneshot. harrow cuts her hair after returning to her body, and gideon comes around to help. i love a good homoerotic haircut but this fic takes the cake with how raw the emotions are. beautifully written.
(i shine only with the light you gave me) T - sashawire / @triglyceride moderately devastating short post-gtn oneshot. god gives harrow her saintly title. i love the prose so much.
We Must Not Be Strangers T - telling_you_stories long oneshot consisting of several scenes from the middle acts of gtn from harrow's perspective. i love alternative pov fics and this fic does such a good job of bridging the gap into what harrow might have been thinking during gtn.
before you leave (remember i was with you) T - Mal_content a new short post-ntn oneshot! kiriona and harrow meet and finally talk about their feelings. this fic is so well written. i absolutely love the dialogue.
touch me again and i'll-- T - zoicite zoicite back at it again with a short oneshot set during gtn. it's the scene that gideon rescues harrow from her bone cocoon and checks her for injuries, but from harrow's pov. this bad boy can fit so much repressed attraction in it.
cut my cord T - cobrakids / @funsizedshark long modern university au oneshot. this fic starts out mostly gen and gets more ship-related halfway through. silas is writing a theology thesis and sets out to interrogate gideon and harrow about the cult they grew up in. harrow, in turn, sets out to protect gideon from silas. there's a very unhinged pool scene, and i love the characterization and prose.
thank you to all the fic authors above for sharing these lovely works with the fandom!
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scoonsalicious · 1 month
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Unwanted: Chapter 2, Unwanted - Pt. 5
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 1.8k
Previously On...: While on a mission with Steve, you two finally begin the process of healing and clearing the air between you.
A/N: This closes out Chapter 2! I have to say, I cannot wait to post Chapter 3; it's my personal favorite, and you'll see why soon enough! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far, and I'm so grateful for all the likes, comments, and reblogs-- you don't know how much they mean to me! You guys are the greatest! <3
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)  @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp
When the Quinjet landed back at the Avengers’ Tower, Bucky was waiting for you in the landing bay. You'd only been gone for four days, but as soon as he saw you start down the gangplank, he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you in circles until you squealed.
"Buck! Put me down before I throw up on you!"
"Can't, Pocket," he said, though he did stop spinning you. "Missed you too much. Physically impossible to let you go."
Steve followed shortly behind you, rolling his eyes at his best friend's theatrics. "No love for your old war buddy, Barnes?"
Bucky laughed, finally putting you down to give Steve a brief, one-armed hug. "Glad you're back safe, too, Stevie," he said. "And thanks for bringing my Pocket home in one piece."
Steve pulled you close in a side hug, the earlier tension that had existed between the two of you having faded since you had a chance to clear the air. "You should be thanking her for bringing me home in one piece. The girl's deadly with plastic explosives."
You shoved him away from you playfully. "Please, Stevie," you teased. "If you just learned the first thing about computers, you could have done the whole mission on your own, you wouldn't even have needed me."
"Always gonna need you, Pocket," Steve said, ruffling your hair. "You're family." You gave each other stupid grins before he hefted his go-bag over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go grab a shower and get some sleep. I'll see you kids later." He walked off into the belly of the tower, leaving you and Bucky alone.
"Ugh, I can't wait to get out of this tac-suit," you moaned. "I always feel so filthy after a mission with explosives, you know?" Bucky gave you a curious look as he leaned down and grabbed your go-bag for you. "Such a gentleman," you smiled at him as you led the way back to your room.
You went straight into the bathroom and unzipped the top of your tac-suit, pulling it down over your arms until it was hanging from your waist. With a sigh of relief at being freed from the confines of the heavy poly-carbonate blended fabric, you washed your face and started brushing your teeth.
"So, how was the mission?" Bucky called from where he was sitting on your bed.
"Goo!" you managed to get out around a mouthful of toothpaste.
"Good, good." He paused. "So, um, it's not really my business or anything, but did something happen... between you and Steve? While you guys were gone? Like, did you guys, I dunno... sleep together?"
You nearly choked on your toothpaste and quickly spat it out in the sink before coming out of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry," you said, pointing your toothbrush at him accusingly. "Did you just ask me if I had sex with Steve Rogers?"
He wouldn't look at you. "Like I said, it's none of my business. It's just that, before you guys left, you were always kind of, I dunno, angry at him? And then you get off the plane and you're hugging and he's got his hands in your hair and you’re calling him ‘Stevie’. So, I was just wondering if something happened."
"And your brain immediately jumped to us sleeping together?" You asked him, incredulous. He looked up at you. "Seriously? We just talked. Lanced some bad blood that had been festering between us since Berlin, so we can work on being good again, be a family again." You noticed he was staring at you, mouth slightly opened. "What?" you asked him.
He motioned vaguely toward your chest, and you looked down to realize your tac-suit was still hanging half off of you and you were standing in front of him in just a purple push-up bra.
"Oh for fucks' sake, Barnes. They're just tits." You stalked over to your dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and slipped it over your head. "Better now?"
He shook his head as if a spell had been broken over him. "Uh, yeah. So, you didn't sleep with Steve," he reiterated.
"No, I did not. To begin with, he's family. There's a major ick factor. And second--, no. That's really it. The idea is super gross."
"Good," Bucky chuckled. "I love Steve like a brother, but I didn't love the idea of sharing you with him."
You started shimmying yourself out of the pants of your tac-suit and tossed it into your hamper. "Yes," you deadpanned, "because you know how much I love being compared to an object that can be owned and thus shared among friends. Not emotionally triggering for me at all."
Bucky had the decency to look chastised. "You know that's not what I meant."
"Relax, Barnes," you teased as you stepped into and pulled up a pair of shorts. "I'm just giving you shit." You ruffled his hair. "I may be emotionally scarred and have more baggage than the cargo hold on an airplane, but at least I can laugh about it."
Bucky rolled his eyes at you, but there was a smile on his lips. "You're something else, you know that?"
You grinned at him. "I'd like to think so. Makes your life so much more interesting, don't you think?"
Bucky nodded in agreement. "Definitely. You're never boring, that's for sure."
You chuckled and flopped down on your bed next to him. "So, what about you? Any juicy drama while I was gone?"
"Hmmm, let's see..." Bucky thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure Nat and Banner were fucking in the lab the other day."
"No!" you gasped, sitting up.
"Yeah; I needed some calibration done on my arm, and since you weren't here, I went down to Bruce's lab to ask him to help, but the doors were locked. I was about to turn around and come back later, when the door opened up and Nat came rushing out, won’t acknowledge me or make eye contact, and I swear her shirt was on inside out. I get inside and Banner's actively tucking his shirt back into his pants."
You cackled at the mental image, kicking your legs in the air with delight. "Oh, that's amazing. Finally, those two crazy kids got together. I'll have to find some way to get Nat to give me all the dirty, dirty details."
"Ugh, if you do, please keep them to yourself," Bucky moaned. "Last thing I need is a mental picture of Banner's mini-Hulk."
"Hey now, I'm sure Bruce is perfectly proportionate," you teased. Then you got serious. "I gotta admit, I'm a bit jealous."
"You have a thing for Bruce?" Bucky asked, eyes wide with astonishment. "I would never have guessed he's your type."
"What?! No!" You playfully shoved him. "Same reason I'm jealous of Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Viz, Clint and Laura. You and your left hand, Sam and whoever he's dating this week. It just must be nice to be in a relationship, you know? To have someone to share that part of your life with."
Bucky cocked his eyebrow, but nodded, understanding your meaning and letting your joke about his left hand slide. "So, what's stopping you from going out and getting one for yourself, Pocket? You're smart, funny, gorgeous. You could date anyone you wanted."
You leaned back, making yourself comfortable against your pillows and heaved a heavy sigh. "Oh, you know, just the usual: Trauma, trust issues, fear of abandonment. All of that fun stuff." Bucky gave you a look, and you knew he wanted you to take the conversation seriously, for once.
"Finnne," you whined. "After I... Once I started out on my own, I was... Well, I did everything I could think of to try to reclaim sex for myself, you know? It wasn't healthy, it wasn't smart, but I was young and stupid and I didn't know what else to do. I can fuck someone without having a panic attack now, which, trust me, is a vast improvement from where I started, but making myself vulnerable for that emotional connection? To transcend something from just sex to a real relationship? I have no idea how to do that. It's like, I can open up one way, or the other; I can't do both. It's too much. If there’s even a hint of an emotional connection with a guy, I shut down. Close myself off. Like, it’s not worth the risk of getting hurt.”
"I understand," said Bucky, softly and simply, and you knew that he did. Your traumas were different, but the scars they had left on you were so similar. "I haven't been with a girl, physically, since 1944," he confided. "I don't know if I can trust anyone to be that open with, to share that part of me with. Not after everything that's been done to me. And I worry that I can't trust myself to let go, not without hurting someone."
You let out a long, low whistle. "That's gotta be some kinda celibacy record." You clapped your hand over your mouth. "You're a reborn virgin, James Buchanan Barnes!"
"Reached your quota for serious conversation, have you?" Bucky asked with a piqued eyebrow.
"You know it's not my strong suit," you conceded. "But seriously, man? 1944? Oof. Your balls must be black by now."
He gave you a look of disappointment, causing you to sigh.
"I know, I know," you said eventually. "You're trying to have a meaningful discussion with me and I'm being an immature ass, again. I'm sorry."
Bucky wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're not an ass, Pocket. You're just... I wish you could talk to me without feeling like you have to fall back onto your defense mechanisms, that's all. I want you to feel safe with me."
You turned your head to look at him. "Buck, I feel safer with you than anyone else on this entire fucking planet. You're my best friend and you know all of my deep, dark secrets. You know me better than anyone, but I’ve spent a lifetime building those defenses; they aren't all just going to fall down in a day, so that means an inappropriate joke or two is going to slip through every now and then.”
Bucky smiled at you and squeezed you a bit tighter. "I know, Pocket. And I adore you for it. But if you ever want to talk about anything serious, know that I'm here for you."
"I know," you said, leaning into him. "And thank you, for being so patient and understanding with me. I get that I can be... a lot."
"No, you're just enough," he said. "Never think otherwise."
<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->
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luv4fandoms · 1 year
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The Rut (David x Fem! Reader)
It is finally here! The last installment of The Rut series! I am so happy that everyone enjoyed this series, it was definitely fun to write the boys in just complete feral mode lol. I'll definitely be writing for stuff for the boys in the future!
(Also since I've been asked, this isn't really a poly relationship series, this is a "only (insert boy) likes reader" kinda thing).
I really wanna thank everyone who has commented on, reblogged, or just liked this series. Y'all really kept me going when I had writers block, and I couldn't have finished it without y'all. And a big shout out to @auntvamp who came up with the original headcannons about the boys in rut, because without them, this series wouldn't be a thing lol. I'd highly suggest reading that first.
Lastly I'd like to thank @santacarlatourism for their headcanons of each boy's scent on my post
I also got inspired by these headcanons
For this I know a lot of people write David as a rough dom but I wanted to explore something else, I don't think David would always be rough with his mate, I see him having a soft side too, so this is that, and also him slowly losing control lol.
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Paul, Marko, Dwayne,
Word Count: 5,376 (of course this cocky mofo ended up with the longest chapter 🤣)
Pairing: David x Fem! Reader
Warnings: DETAILED SMUT! THAT IS ALL THIS STORY IS!! MINORS DNI!!
⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️
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Ko-Fi
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"Don't invite him in"
That's what Dwayne had told you when he informed you to stay away from the cave for the next couple of days. You were confused when Dwayne had met you at the entrance the night before, usually David was the first one out and ready to leave, typically smoking while the others got ready. You were fully prepared to spend the night at the boardwalk with the boys and your favorite vampire, but Dwayne had quickly shot down those plans.
"Wait…A rut? Like how animals have ru-"
"Yes just like that" he told you as he walked you back to your car.
"When we go into these we are very dangerous to you, since you're a human and not a vampire like us you're far more…"
"Fragile" you finished, the boys had all told you that before, taking it upon themselves to protect you all the time because you were "like a China doll" in Dwayne's words.
"So that's why you need to stay away for a couple of days," he explained, to which you could only simply nod as you climbed in your car. Your thoughts suddenly taking a turn as you thought of him…they were all extremely attractive…him especially…and you were sure him taking a partner for a quick time was something he had done before…would that happen again? After all, if he was gonna kill them anyways why not? It didn't matter if they were fragile right? But why did that thought make you wanna cry even more in this situation?
"It isn't like that" Dwayne's voice broke you out of your thoughts and you were unsure if he had read your thoughts or could just read your emotions.
"Go home y/n, don't overthink ok, you can come back soon" he told you with a small smile as he shut your car door, watching as you started the car and rolled down the window when he knocked
"And one more thing" he told you while leaning in.
"Don't invite him in"
So here you were, sitting in your room, listening to music and drawing, wishing you could just go hang out with the boys, you hadn't really realized just how much of a staple in your life they had become until now. Night's seemed boring without them…without him. Sighing you sat your sketchbook down on your nightstand after you realized that in your zoned out state you had successfully sketched what was probably the twentieth picture of him that resided in the book. Stretching, you got up and changed the music, putting on your newest Billy Idol album. You had joked to David before that he reminded you of the singer, a comment that although he didn't reply to, he seemed complimented by. You had actually come across David listening to a Billy Idol cassette tape one day in the cave and it only solidified that thought even more for you lol. You began dancing around as White Wedding started to play, losing yourself in the music for a moment, before you heard a gentle knock on your window. Your body froze instantly, shifting your gaze to the closed curtains. You slightly wondered if it had been the wind, but only slightly, you knew that was definitely a knock.
"I know you're in there Sweetheart, no use hiding" You immediately felt a shiver run down your spine at the voice, a deeper tone with a slight growl mixed with it told you he was currently vamped out.
'Don't invite him in' Dwayne's words rang in your head, earning another low growl from outside.
"You don't take orders from him, understand?" Oh shit, he was reading your thoughts. You had made him promise when you first learned what they were that he wouldn't do that anymore. A promise he seemed like he had no problem breaking tonight.
"But.. David…Dwayne said it would be dangerous to-"
"Funny" you heard him let out a dry chuckle.
"I thought I just said you don't take orders from him" You gulped at his tone, a sarcastic David was a dangerous David at times, and you had a feeling this was one of those times.
"Let me in Doll, I'll explain it all better than he could" You hesitated still, true, Dwayne hadn't explained very much, and you were still curious. And if you were being honest, when vamped out David probably had the most control over himself out of all of them, besides maybe Dwayne…Maybe it would be safe if you let him in. Slowly making your way over towards the window you heard what seemed like a pleased…purr? You pulled back the curtains, meeting the golden gaze of the vampire on the outside of your window. His figure looming on your small balcony. You unlocked and opened your window, leaning out to speak to him. When suddenly your lips were captured in a searing kiss, his gloved hands holding your face, softly yet firm as he pulled you closer, fangs brushing your lips as he opened your mouth with his, tongue dominating the kiss. You weren't sure what was making you dizzier, the kiss that was quite literally stealing your breath away, or his scent. David always smelled like a mixture of cigarettes, the cologne he always stole that had a very earthy smell to it, and a scent that you could only describe as simply him. But tonight his scent seemed to be cranked up to a hundred, clouding your brain of anything but him. When he finally seemed to remember you needed to breathe he pulled away, forehead resting against yours as he watched you try to catch your breath, pupils blown and heart racing as you met his gaze.
"David," you spoke quietly.
"You're gonna be a good girl and let me come inside, right?" He asked, watching the shiver that went down your spine at the nickname, a mental note he tucked away for later.
"Right?" He asked again, watching as you slowly nodded.
"Words Sweetheart" he gave you that little smile as he ran his thumb over your lip.
"You can come inside" you spoke once you found your voice.
"That's a good girl" he spoke, before the next thing you knew you were back inside your bedroom and being thrown onto your bed.
"Clothes off Sweetheart, I'm going to fuck you first, then I'll explain everything" he commanded, staring you down as he slowly took his coat off and laid it over your desk.
"W-What?" You stuttered, looking at him with wide eyes, did he actually just say that so casually? He raised an eyebrow as he looked at you, waiting.
"I thought you were going to be a good girl tonight y/n" he spoke while slowly pulling your chair out and sitting down.
"I-I.." you weren't sure what to say at the moment, voice gone as you got lost in that golden gaze.
"I don't mind punishing you" he warned, and the look in his eye told you that part of him wanted to, wanted you to misbehave so he could. Deciding to play it safe, for now, you quickly took off your top and bottoms, leaving you in your simple lace panties, bra having been discarded earlier in the night. You watched his gaze darken as he took you in, golden eyes turning a bit orange.
"Come here" he spoke simply, but his tone told you that there was no arguing. Slowly you stood from your bed, taking careful steps over to him, stopping once you stood directly in front, your legs lightly grazing his knees. You slowly met his gaze again, those hard features and burning eyes, you knew anyone in your situation would have ran, but you knew David, and maybe some deep twisted part of you wanted this more than you even recognized. Wanted to be completely dominated by this man, this creature. Maybe you should have also not thought those things so loudly, if the absolutely predatory grin was anything to go by.
"Completely dominated huh?" He asked while leaning back in the chair, he watched as you gulped, listened as your heart picked up speed, smelled as a fresh wave of arousal hit you. It wouldn't take much to have you exactly where he wanted you, completely willing, completely his.
"On your knees Sweetheart" he told you with a low growl, and he watched as you instantly fell onto your floor, hands hovering just above his knees before lowering themselves to the ground. Good girl, you already knew to wait for his orders. He watched you watch him, watched as you tried not to show how much you were trying to gain some form of friction against where you needed it most. He could feel himself stir even more at the sight, could feel the inner beast trying to claw its way out, yelling at him to simply take you, stop these foolish games and claim what was his. He hated that feeling, hated losing control. Deciding to relieve both himself and you he tapped his belt buckle, eyes still never leaving you as you looked up to meet his gaze before setting to work undoing his belt and then pants, looking up to silently ask if you should stop or keep going.
"Well? You've been a good girl so far, are you afraid to unwrap your treat?" He smirked, watching the blush crawl up your neck and cheeks as your eyes went back to his pants. He lifted himself slowly so you could take them and his underwear off, pulling the material down to his ankles, stopping only because his boots got in the way. You went to remove them but he stopped you with a hand on your head.
"Those can wait" he told you, sliding his hand from your hair to cup your cheek, running his thumb over your lip before slowly parting them, watching as you wrapped your lips around his thumb, eyes sliding closed as you sucked the digit. David watched you intensely, feeling himself jump at the sight, and knowing that he wanted, no, needed your lips around him, now. Gently pulling his thumb away with the thinning self control he had left he opened your mouth, watching as your eyes met his.
"I have something better for you to use that pretty mouth on" he told you, watching as your eyes moved to finally take him in. He was average length, but pretty thick, a size that had you both clenching around nothing and also afraid of him not fitting. Again, reading your mind, you heard David chuckle.
"That's why we have to get both of us nice and wet, I think you know how to do that, don't you?" He asked, letting go of your mouth and leaning back in the chair, legs opening just a bit more.
"Yes sir" you nodded, sitting up a bit, hands finally touching his thighs, you could hear the low rumble leave him as he stared at you, you had taken a chance by calling him sir, but you had a very strong feeling he had that sort of kink, after all, David always loved being in charge.
"Look at that, I don't even have to teach you manners, you are already trained for me" he smirked, gathering your hair in his gloved hand as you slowly wrapped a hand around his length, feeling it twitch, before lowering your lips to close around the head.
"Already my good girl" he sighed, watching as you ran your tongue along the slit before lowering your head, hollowing your cheeks, and taking more of him in while running your tongue along the vein on the underside. What your mouth couldn't take, you hand took care of as you began bobbing your head, twisting your fist as you stroked in time with your bobs. You hadn't expected David to be a moaner or a talker, so when you only received grunts and huffs you knew not to be disappointed. You let those guide you, noting when he would tighten his grip on your hair, or when he would ever so slightly lift his hips, when he would hold his breath, or when his grunts sounded a bit more strained.
"Teeth" he grunted out at one point, tightening his grip on your hair again. You weren't sure what he meant, so you went off of what you guessed and prayed that it was right, you were doing good so far, you didn't want to fuck up now. Letting your teeth graze against his length you felt him stiffen, and instantly you feared you messed up, but that was when you heard it, the first moan, even if it was extremely quiet. With more confidence you let a little more of your teeth scrape along him as you worked, hearing his breath quicken once more. You chanced a glance upwards and noticed a sight you didn't expect, David with his eyes closed, head slightly tilted backwards, and mouth slightly open. Feeling brave after your achievement you decided to try something else. Sneaking your other hand up, you gently wrapped your hand around his balls, just as you took as much of him as you could and swallowed. Feeling him stiffen instantly, and hearing a clearly strained.
"Fuck" before his eyes met yours, orange gaze blazing before you were suddenly tossed on the bed, watching as he tore the rest of his clothes off.
"Did I say you could do that?" He asked, caging your body with his. You slowly shook your head but David caught your jaw in his now gloveless hand.
"Did I?"
"N-No sir" you replied, honestly a little scared, as well as turned on. David looked almost unhinged at the moment, like he was a breath away from just bending you over, and maybe that's what you wanted.
"So why did you think it was ok?"
"I-I just"
"Just what? You had been doing so well"
"I just wanted to make you feel good" you told him, and watched as he stopped, and blinked down at you. Honestly he hadn't expected that reply. He figured you were tired of playing the good girl role and wanted to disobey, wanted him to put you in your place, wanted him to just take you already…He hadn't expected you to tell him you were just trying to make him feel good.
"Just trying to please your master?" He asked with a smirk, watching as you nodded, eyes wide with an innocence that he knew was false, but God did you know how to play on that. He knew how dirty your mind was, he had read it so many times, times where you would come to the cave, wet and smelling like pure heaven. He wanted, no, needed to know what had gotten you that way, so he'd delve into your mind, needing to know if he'd have an easy kill that night or would it be something else, and what he'd find would cause his own stirrings. Things that you had read about in your little erotic novels, but played out by the two of you. You riding him, which he'd have to be convinced about. Him bending you over his motorcycle, that he could and would definitely arrange. Then there were the ones that filled your mind after you learned that he was originally a gunslinger before he became a vampire. It seemed your naughty little mind lived on the saying "save a horse, ride a cowboy". That heavenly smell surrounded him once again as you looked up at him, muttering such words that had his thin self control on the verge of snapping.
"Always wanna please you sir" you whimpered, slightly wiggling under him, no doubt seeking friction for the overwhelming heat that was bothering you. He decided to take pity on you, at least that's what he'd tell you, when really the beast in him was clawing at his mind for a taste of you.
"Such a Sweetheart" he smiled, leaning down to kiss your neck, chuckling as you leaned your head to the side, already willing to give him access to your blood, but that wasn't the taste he sought, at least not at the moment. Pressing gentle kisses down your collarbone, stopping to give your breasts attention, he swirled his tongue around your nipple before closing his lips around it, fangs grazing your skin as his hand came up to pinch and play with your other one, before his mouth and hand switched. Only when he felt like he had made you a breathless mess did he continue his journey down, hands sliding along your sides as he kissed down your stomach, pressing kisses to your hip bones before hooking his claws into your lace panties. His eyes met yours, a sinister smirk on his lips as you watched him tear your panties in half, the sound of tearing fabric meeting your ears while your eyes never left his. You watched him toss the pieces to the sides of the bed before he pressed kisses to your thighs, so close to where you wanted his mouth but never giving you what you needed.
"Beg" he told you, watching as your eyes met his again, having closed them for a moment.
"Please David" you whimpered, yelping slightly when his hand landed a smack on your thigh.
"Care to try that again?"
"Please sir, please I've been good" you begged.
"Have you? I don't think you have"
"I-I was just trying to make you feel good" you explained again, watching as he stared at you.
"Please sir, I promise I'll be good" you told him, gripping at the sheets, trying to will him to do something, anything to calm the fire that was slowly burning through you. Meanwhile David was fighting with himself, he wanted to tease you, have you a real begging mess, but the other part was clawing at him to just give in and take. This time he decided to give into that beast within and in an instant his mouth was on you, tongue swiping along your slit and watching as you threw your head back, a loud moan of his name tearing from your lips. He decided this time he wouldn't reprime you for it, mainly because he was becoming too lost in your taste, his own grunts muffled as he buried his face deeper, nose brushing your clit while his tongue dipped inside. He felt your legs close around his head, his hands still resting on your thighs, and again he decided to let it slide, instead grabbing your hips and letting himself explore you, commiting to memory every swipe of his tongue that had you moaning his name, every suck that had you gasping, every twist and turn that had your heart beat picking up and the beast in him clawing at the fraying seams of his control. He wanted to slam his fingers in you, listen as you moan at the fact that something was finally filling you, but he knew that his claws and that sensitive of an area shouldn't mix, so he settled on completely devouring you, being careful of his fangs as he brought you closer to your edge. Your legs tightening around him, hips lifting to try and get closer, hands grabbing at his hair while your head was thrown back, eyes shut and mouth open, begging him to not stop, telling him how good he felt and how close you were. He could push you off the edge in just a matter of seconds…could…but wasn't going to. Easily unwrapping your legs from him, he lifted himself away from you, watching as you whined and looked up at him with pleading eyes. Chest rising and falling rapidly as you slowly came down from the high he had built you up to.
"Why?" You whimpered, and David simply smirked as he wiped your essence from his face.
"You still had to be punished Sweetheart" he told you, watching as you pouted, head turned to the side while you tried to catch your breath. He chuckled at your pouting, knew how frustrated you were, because honestly he was at that point as well. He knew that playtime was up. Grabbing your thighs again he pulled you down the bed, wrapping your legs around his hips. He watched you gasp at being manhandled but he knew you liked it, he could smell that you liked it.
"Now, are you gonna be my good girl again? Or do I have to punish you again?"
"I'll be good I promise" you panted, wanting that high again that only he could bring you to, he'd make sure you knew that, that only he could make you feel this way.
"Good girl" he growled, reaching down to drag himself through your wetness, watching as your hips lifted slightly, trying to coax him in.
"Such a greedy girl" he smirked, before slowly entering you, watching as you threw your head back at the feeling of finally having him inside you. It took him a bit with how tight you were, but once he was fully seated he had to take a moment. Because right then, for the first time he felt overwhelmed. Sure he had partners in the past, but nothing felt like this, as if he needed more proof that you were his mate. And he knew that you probably wanted him to be gentle, but he knew that wouldn't be something he could offer, not this night at least.
"I'm not gonna be gentle Sweetheart" he felt he should warn you, felt you deserved to know before he just took you.
"I didn't expect you to be" you smiled, and he knew you knew enough of what was going on with him to know he was losing the control he loved so much, so he never broke the gaze you two held as he gripped your hips and pulled back, only to slam forward, watching as you threw your head back. He listened to your cries for him, your heartbeat singing as it sped up again. He watched as your eyes rolled back, mouth opened as you didn't even try to hide the gasps, and moans. He found his own eyes closing as he sped up, thrusts now slamming into you as the bed shook, his grunts were drowned out by your cries and that was ok, he didn't need to be loud, it was your job to tell everyone who was making you feel this good. Sir had long been forgotten and he couldn't find it in himself to care, wanting you to cry out his name until your throat went raw.
"Fuck" he panted out through gritted teeth, the feeling was picking up, the knot tightening in his stomach as he felt you grow tighter around him. Shit you were gonna make it hard on him to even fuckin last, especially when you were begging for him, begging for him not to stop, begging for him to make you cum, even begging for him to make you his, as if you weren't already. Your orgasm hit you both by surprise, you suddenly became like a vice around him and he immediately stopped, watched as you shook, you entire body trembling as you flew over the edge, he slowed his thrusts, gently rocking you through it, and also keeping his own orgasm at bay
He watched you blink before your eyes met his, looking up to see if he would say something about you cumming without permission, which, any other time he may, but right now he just knew he needed you to cum again, because you were absolutely beautiful when lost in pleasure. You watched as he unhooked your legs from him, instead lifting them as he pulled out and crawled over you, pressing his forehead to yours as he wrapped your legs around him again, his one hand coming up to hold yours, while his other game up to hold your jaw.
"You got another one for me Sweetheart?" He asked, not breaking eye contact as the hand on your jaw left for only a moment as you felt him enter you again, making you gasp.
"Yes" you whimpered, already lifting your hips to meet his.
"My little mate, always so willing" he smiled, fangs grazing your lips before he captured them again, he soon started thrusting again, and you moaned in the kiss, allowing his tongue to enter and dominate before he pulled back, fangs lightly grazing your lip and drawing blood, to which he quickly licked it up. His hips thrusting forward harshly as he tasted it, the flavor exploding on his tongue and heightening his sense to focus on the precious liquid that flowed just below the skin. He knew it would be dangerous to feed on you while you two were in the middle of this, he could lose any control he had left if he did, and he wouldn't know what to do if he killed his mate. So instead he focused on the other liquid you were producing, the liquid that was currently coating his thighs as he thrusted into you. Your moans were echoing against the walls and in his brain as he allowed himself to slip away, focusing on the feeling of your body sucking him in, gripping him tight in your soaking heat, God you were so hot against him. He knew his temperature was running hotter than normal due to the rut but yours was like fire. He was also losing himself in your scent, not just the scent of your arousal, but the scent that was simply you, a scent that he would never admit, but one that he loved smelling around the cave or against his pillow when you would take a nap in his spare room. He lost himself in how soft your skin was under his hands, how you completely gave yourself to him, willingly submitted yourself to a beast like him even though you had been told it was dangerous. How you were crying out for him, begging him, praising him, God your praises.
"Yeah? Only I can make you feel this good?" He panted against your lips, eyes still closed as he continued to lose himself.
"Fuuuuck, only you David" you told him
"Only I know your body like this" he growled, picking up speed.
"Only you" you panted.
"You're mine" another growl
"Shit..Only yours"
"Completely mine" he grunted
"Fucking…Always"
"My mate" he groaned, and you allowed your eyes to open slightly, expecting to meet gold but instead noticed that his eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed as his mouth opened slightly, hot breaths fanning your face.
"Say it" he panted, eyes not opening as he picked up his speed again, angling himself until he was hitting that spot inside you that made you see stars
"Your mate" you moaned, eyes closing again as your head fell back as far as his hand would let it, his grip leaving your jaw to grab the back of your head, forehead never leaving yours.
"My mate" he panted, breaking off into a groan.
"Fuck" he moaned against your lips, his control a hair's breath away from being gone, the faster your heartbeat raced, the less he had.
"Cum for me" he groaned, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer. The hand that had been holding yours quickly found your clit, rubbing circles that had to shooting towards your peak.
"Fuck! David!"
"That's it baby, let go" he surged forward, panting against your mouth as moans began to leave him, the sign that he was about to finish as well you realized. Your hands shot into his hair, pulling the locks until his face left yours and buried into your neck. It was something you knew you both wanted, something you had fantasized about, and something you know the rut would most likely want him to do.
"Make me yours" you panted, officially snapping the thin string of self control he had. Instantly his fangs sunk into your skin, drawing a high pitched moan from you as your legs locked around him, your body squeezing him as your second orgasm washed over you, and he was right behind. As soon as your blood entered his mouth he was gone, he knew you smelled like heaven, but you tasted like it as well, and that paired with your even stronger orgasm had him slamming forward, hips stuttering before stilling as he filled you, a deep growl leaving him and vibrating your chest as he pour himself into you, claiming you, marking you, just like his fangs did. He gave a few slow thrusts before he stilled and pulled his mouth away, his fangs leaving your skin as he licked up the blood that trailed out and sealed the wound, the only evidence being two small marks. You both stayed like that for a moment, his face still buried in your neck while your hand was tangled in his hair, the other running along the scratch marks on his back that you didn't even know you had made, he knew though, he quite enjoyed the tiny bit of pain.
"That was really dangerous" he spoke after a moment, drawing your attention to his gaze, now far less orange and far more gold, the red hue having disappeared.
"I think the danger started when I invited you in" you laughed, watching as a smile graced his lips.
"You were told not to, and here I thought you knew how to follow orders" he tisked, causing you to roll your eyes.
"Kinda hard to know which rules to follow when my master says the opposite of others" you smirked, earning a growl that vibrated your chest.
"Always my orders"
"That's what I thought" you smiled, leaning up to capture his lips in a kiss that he happily returned.
"You really like being called that" you joked, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Just means you know your role" he stated.
"Oh? So I'm nothing more than your pet?" You asked with a pout.
"You know you're not, you're my mate" he stated as if it were the simplest thing, which to him it may have been, but to you.
"What does that mean exactly?" You asked, watching as he just blinked at you.
"No like…is that what vampires call girlfriends or.." you trailed off when he started lightly running his finger over the bite marks he made.
"Why do you think I came here even though it was dangerous?" He asked.
"Honestly, I'm not actually sure" you told him truthfully.
"I actually figured you would just go pick up some random at the boardwalk" added while staring at the skin of his arm that you were currently drawing patterns on with your finger. You tried to hide the sad tone but you knew he could easily pick up on it, knew because he was soon turning your face towards him again.
"This doesn't work that way." He started, brushing your hair out of your face.
"None of us have ever been through this before, I'm the first. We just know about it from Max telling us" he explained.
"This rut, it's triggered by us finding our mate. In human terms I guess the closest thing would be a soulmate"
"So I'm…Your soulmate?" You asked, your smile growing.
"Far more than a pet now huh?" He smirked, leaning down to kiss you again. Chuckling when you pulled him closer to deepen the kiss.
"Would this be the right time to tell you that I've kinda had a crush on you for a while?" You laughed, watching as his smirk grew.
"Oh I already knew"
"Wait what?!"
"You think very loudly Sweetheart"
"Wait…How long have you been reading my thoughts?! I told you not to!"
"Long enough" he stated, while lowering his mouth to your ear.
"Now, let's see if you can last for longer than eight seconds Darlin'" he purred, a deep southern drawl ringing in your ears and you knew you were fucked…in more ways than one.
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Of course I had to throw in some tidbits about my headcanon that David was originally a gunslinger from Texas lol.
Taglist
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skyeslittlecorner · 2 months
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can you post some photos on chapter five? ive been struggling to get to it and im impatient if ykwim 😭😭
Don't worry anon, I got you covered! Let's break this chapter for three parts - one for story and for one for both H-scenes. There are a lot of things to look forward to~
Warning: HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. In fact, I'll try to shorten the whole thing and focus on plot-relevant facts, so for those who want to go through chapter 5 on their own, come back when you're done! (Or just skip to h-scene, they are marked.)
Ch5 - STORY
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First, I would like to warn that my opinion about it may be unpopular. As someone who hadn't paid much attention to Hades before, I fell in love with it after this episode. I adore ch5. A lot of people hate these boys to the core for what they did, and I understand and respect their opinion, but I'm with Hades here. I would love to analyze their behavior in more detail, but we don't have time for that today.
Summarizing this chapter is going to be hard because a lot of things happened. Let's go!
We start by going down a slide sponsored by Leviathan and his Lovecraftian friends (TM). But worry not! It seems we have friends even in the realm of death. Say hello to grandpa!
We talk a little, being in a questionable mood. Well, who wouldn't be? But we have the opportunity to know Solomon better, and I'm getting to understand why all devils love him. By the way, it turns out that we are his last descendant.
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Sorry Solomon, you're still a peepaw.
He also advises us not to be afraid of Leviathan and not to be submissive to him, and then in a brilliant way he sends us back to the world of the living. Of course, our beautiful king is delighted.
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We take Grandpa's advice to heart and finally stand up to Levi. He's surprised, but he doesn't try to kill us again (for now). We witness him hanging one of his subjects, who dared to ask about an accident from 311 years ago.
Fun fact. Devils must have much stronger spines. Do you know how people used to die by hanging? The first methods involved cutting off oxygen, but later they involved into breaking the cervical spine and this was considered a standard hanging execution. Leviathan must be gentle (how bad it sounds in this context), he could kill instantly with a loop like that.
Back to the point. We find out that we also have a noose around our neck, and Leviathan makes use of it. We're hanging, but we finally begin to meet Leviathan's nobles one by one.
Glasyal plots (and ends up hanging for it), Foras argues with him, along the way we learn that Leviathan needs us in his plan, and, you know, maybe killing us isn't the smartest thing he can do. Only Barbatos realizes that maybe it's a good idea to stop hanging us like wet laundry. He's the only one so openly nice to us.
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Remember that.
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Another fun fact, our MC is of medium height (~160 cm I guess). Leviathan is 187cm, Foras should be similar. I only noticed this because I myself am 180 cm so they are not so strappingly tall for me.
Foras wants to take us away from Levi and explain everything calmly, but the king does not agree. We learn that the guys know where the seed from the Tree of Knowledge is. We're supposed to go with them, and we have about a 50/50 chance of survival. Also, we have the opportunity to see a very rare phenomenon, a joking Leviathan.
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Sweetie.
Colossally shortening the rest, the cavalry arrives! You didn't have to. I haven't had time to fuck them yet.
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And this cavalry is very much at odds with the nobles of Hades. Most of the time is them arguing. Fortunately, they didn't kill each other…
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...because Barbie decided to kill us.
Barbatos is poisoning us to force Bimet and Valefor to join the plan. While we are unconscious, we have flashes of Leviathan's past, which is too sad to analyze considering that we are about to jump to hot scenes now. Besides, most of us already know what this is about. Experience it for yourself. Really. We also learn that not only angels experimented on children, and a little about Mammon's childhood.
In the end, we learn that in Ch6 we must visit the abandoned laboratory in Tartaros, where the seed from the tree of knowledge should be, because as Solomon's descendants, we may be the only ones who will not be killed by it.
Ch5 - VALEFOR H-SCENE
(I really wanted to post CG from Valefor's scene here, but I don't know if Tumblr will block it.)
TIME FOR DESSERT!
Bimet is the first to realize that we lack devil energy. He wants to take care of it, but Valefor brushes him off, sends him to scout, and overall Bimet is our wingman, what a bro lol
Since we are away from Satan and Gehenna, we cannot summon Minhyeok's room. MC thinks she's outgrown it anyway. So we can count on the next scenes to be more and more creative.
It all starts with us telling Valefor that he reminds us of Mammon. And what a beast it brings out of him.
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And he loves it.
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...aaand then, someone wants to interrupt. Bimet informs us about this and goes to chase them out. Valefor stands with us at the door to see if anyone else is coming. Yes. Naked. With us. In us.
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Fortunately, no one catches us and after the entire session we fall asleep in our knight's arms.
I really would like to do more screenshots, but tumblr is blocked… and there's one more part to come.
Ch5 - LEVIATHAN H-SCENE
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At least you look beautiful and the platform won't block you.
And here's what I love the most. It was sick. I'd love to experience it again.
I would love to make a whole post ONLY about this and just leave the screenshots.
We are in Leviathan's office, and he interrogates us when we feel like we are lacking devil energy. We want to go to Bimet, but do you think our jealous king will allow it? Oh no no no. And of course, his hands land on our chin and then our neck. He doesn't like our hickeys.
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We start asking him valid questions like "why are you jealous of us if you hate us?" So he silences us with a kiss. A deep, suffocating kiss. This is also how Leviathan discovers that we gain their energy through "intercourse with the devil".
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And how can I not fall in love with this idiot.
The conversation that follows gives us some light on his approach to sex and to relationships in general. Which is… sad. It fits him perfectly, but it's sad. And I would also like to analyze this someday, this character is beautiful and how he's written is even more beautiful, especially from writer's point of view. He does not want the admiration of his people or the hatred of angels. The only thing he can believe and consider to be sincere is that someone's dislike. This is something that might actually turn him on.
At first he rules, he asks questions and he hangs us. And he does everything he can to piss us off. He hands us a whip and lowers us down.
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Just disliking him isn't enough, and he works diligently to make us hate him. He insults Minhyeok, us, wishes us dead, and the more he sees our anger, the more he gets excited and talks more. He knows that we are connected to Satan and we will know how to release our anger. On him.
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He finally got what he wanted. We straddle him and, with the help of Satan's strength, begin to strangle him. Neither you nor he are gentle.
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Also, his words (unfortunately, I already have a limit on screenshots). "Do not bite your lips. Bite mine instead." I beg, let me violate him even more.
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Compliment from Leviathan, nice. In the end, we fall asleep cuddled up to him, and he has no intention of giving us up to anyone. As in the case of Sitri, he only opens up to us when we are so unconscious that we do not see his softer side.
꧁:・ ✡ ・:꧂
AND THATS ALL! What a ride it was, I hope I was a good guide. One day I will go into the Hades boys in more depth, but for now, let this be a shortcut for everyone who is still struggling with ch5.
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