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captainsophiestark · 2 years

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Anyone But the Spin Doctors

Kai Parker x Reader

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Written for Fictober 2022!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Prompt: “Nobody warned you about me?”

Summary: Y/N is loosely a member of the Mystic Falls gang, and basically the only one who doesn't think revenge is the best answer to every problem. After spending some time in New Orleans with their best friend, Kol Mikaelson, they come back to Mystic Falls to find Bonnie and crew exacting revenge on their latest enemy, Kai Parker. But, after Kai showed some signs of humanity and change, Y/N is convinced there's a better way to deal with him. So, they steal an ascendant and go to 1903 to get him out.

Word Count: 2,735

Category: Fluff, little bit of angst (esp. at the beginning)

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Wait, what? You just left him there?" I demanded, staring at Bonnie in utter disbelief.

"Yes. Because that's what he deserves. Did you not hear me telling you about all the awful, horrible things he's done, Y/N?"

"Yeah, Bonnie, I did hear you! Did you not hear me when I brought up how easily our problems were solved when we made friends with people and gave them a chance instead of immediately trying to kill them? Or when I laid out how many times our problems were caused by getting trapped in some giant circle of revenge?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes. I was absolutely fuming, and so was she. I'd just come back from visiting my best friend, Kol Mikaelson, in New Orleans, after hearing my friends fill me in on some new witch who had been causing problems lately. Based on what they'd told me most recently, after going through quite literally a hell of a lot, there was actually starting to be a glimmer of hope for this new witch to be roped into joining our side as a friendly, and not an enemy.

Until recently, when Bonnie had apparently stabbed him and left him for dead after pretending to give him a second chance.

"Look, Y/N, just because your little rehab project half-worked on Kol Mikaelson-"

"Bonnie, Kol is my friend, because we built up trust and mutual respect and stopped crossing lines with each other! We broke the fucking circle of revenge that you people–him include–seem to just love living in for some reason!"

"Does not mean that Kai Parker is redeemable!" Bonnie continued, shouting over me to be heard. "I'm not forgiving him, Y/N! And you have no right to tell me I have to!"

I sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Bon, I know. And I'm not trying to tell you you have to forgive him. I'm sorry if that's what it was coming off as. You have every right to never forgive him, and I'm not saying you even have to be friends with him! But I am telling you that getting revenge by literally stabbing him and trapping him in some nightmare hell dimension, when he was just starting to show signs of wanting to make some kind of change, is the literal worst decision you could've made!"

"I've had enough of this," she said, holding up her hands and shaking her head as she took a few steps back from me. "I'm going to go see Elena, and I don't want to hear about this anymore."

"Fine. I was kinda done talking, anyway," I said. I took a deep breath and reached into my pocket, trying not to look too suspicious as I grabbed the ascendant that I'd stolen from Bonnie when I'd first seen her. Shady, for sure, but I stood by the fact that it was the right move. Every time my friends decided to get some kind of revenge when there was another option, it backfired. This time, I was determined to get us on a different path.

Being a witch had its perks, and it didn't take me long to work a little magic of my own on the ascendant. I saw Bonnie's eyes widen as she realized what I was doing, but then, before she could stop me, I was somewhere else. I looked around, finding myself in a clearing in the woods, a heavy blanket of snow all around.

This feels like a scene out of a horror movie, I thought, and immediately scowled at myself for going there. Not the kind of mindset I wanted to have right now.

I took a deep breath and looked around the circle, hoping for any signs of life, but I came up empty. Despite the fact that every instinct in my body told me not to, I took a deep breath and shouted into the darkness.

"KAI! Kai Parker, are you here?"

I waited, listening intently, but heard nothing. A shiver ran up my spine and I took a deep breath, trying not to let my imagination run away from me.

"Kai? Hello? My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I came to get you out of here!"

"I don't think I've met you before."

I whirled around at the sound of a voice behind me, doubling over with my hand on my heart as the adrenaline spiked and then started to drain away. A tall, handsome man with piercing blue eyes stood there staring at me, his head tilted slightly to the side with one eyebrow raised.

"Kai Parker, I presume?" I huffed between breaths, finally calming down enough to stand up straight again. "You scared the shit out of me."

"And who are you?"

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N-"

"Yeah, I heard your introduction. But who are you?"

"I'm a friend of the Mystic Falls gang, sort of. I've been gone visiting a different friend for a while, but I'm back for a visit. When I got here, Bonnie told me what she'd done to you, so I..." I trailed off then cleared my throat, feeling slightly guilty for what I'd done behind my friend's back. "I stole the ascendant and came to get you out."

"Nobody warned you about me?" asked Kai, prowling a few steps closer to me. I laughed a breathy laugh and held my ground, despite my heart picking up the pace ever so slightly.

"No, they did. At length."

Kai stopped at my words, quirking an eyebrow again.

"And you still came?"

I shrugged. "It sounded like you were interested in making a change, or even just making some friends, but nobody gave you a chance. I've been there before, and it sucks. So I thought I'd come and do something about it."

Kai just stared at me for a few beats, and I swear I could see his mind processing all the new information. I held in a smile at the sight; it was kind of cute.

"Okay, so, I'm kind of new to this whole... emotions thing," he said, waving a hand in the air and grimacing. "But... I'm feeling kind of... weird, right now."

"Weird how?" I asked, taking a few steps closer to him. He stared down at me, looking incredibly confused that I wanted to approach him, but answered any way.

"Weird like... like there's something moving around in my chest, and it's grabbing my heart in a claw and squeezing it."

This time I couldn't help it; I smiled.

"I mean, that could be a lot of things, but... maybe it's a little bit of relief? Or being overwhelmed that I'm here, and that I came for you?"

"Relief... hm, maybe. By the way, it was an absolutely insane choice for you to come here without even knowing me. Why did you... why did you do that?"

I shrugged. "Ever heard of Kol Mikaelson?"

"Mmm... maybe. Crazy powerful, insane Original vampire with a lot of brothers and a sister who like to terrorize the world?"

"Maybe not how I would describe them, but yeah."

"My parents talked about them. They debated trying to step in and put them down a few times."

"Oof. Probably better for everyone involved that they didn't."

"And what's your point?"

"The Mikaelsons first came to town a few years ago, and caused absolute chaos. Honestly, it was pretty terrible, and me and the rest of my friends were scrambling to figure out what to do about them. Kol was especially problematic, and he almost killed, like, half my friends."

"I can see why you speak so fondly of him now."

I rolled my eyes at the sarcasm. "Okay, we didn't really get along at first. But then, while Damon and crew were cooking up some insane attack plan revenge scheme whatever, I happened to run into Kol at the Mystic Grill. He was being menacing and trying to manipulate me, but then a song came on in the Grill, and we both immediately grimaced because it was a terrible song. It was such a tiny moment, but we actually made a real connection over it. And from there, little by little, we became actual friends. Instead of getting caught up in manipulations and scheming and attempts to do each other in, we started hanging out and making compromises about lines we wouldn't cross. And then he stopped being a problem for me and my friends."

"So...?"

"So, ever since, I've kind of made it my mission to give people a chance at redemption before going apeshit with the rest of the Mystic Falls Gang and their insane ass schemes. Sometimes it doesn't work, but sometimes it does, and it saves us all a lot of hurting. And, sometimes, I find a new best friend."

"So you're best friends with a psychotic Original vampire now, because you both hated the same song?"

"Yup! He's the friend I was coming back from visiting, actually. It's crazy how life works sometimes, isn't it?"

"What was the song?"

"Uck, some garbage by the Spin Doctors."

A ghost of a smile flashed across Kai's face, and he huffed a small laugh.

"You hate the Spin Doctors?"

"Big time."

"Huh. So... assuming I go along with this, and don't just siphon your magic and take the ascendant..." he started taking a few casual steps closer to me. We were almost chest to chest now, but I still didn't back down an inch. "What's your plan for stopping me from getting revenge on Bonnie for literally stabbing me in the back?"

I sighed. "What is everyone's obsession with getting revenge all the time?" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air. "Seriously, don't you people have better things to do?"

Kai just raised an eyebrow at me again, so I put my hands on my hips and fixed him with a look.

"My plan is to convince you of the same thing I convinced Kol: there are way better things to spend your time on than some ridiculous revenge scheme that's only gonna make life worse for everyone, you included."

"By doing what?"

"Offering you a better option." I smiled, then gestured with my hands to add a little dramatic flair to my words. "Picture this: touring the world, visiting all kinds of cool new places, singing some good karaoke, and finally escaping all the stress and heartache and negative emotions that come with involving yourself in Mystic Falls drama."

"Possibly tempting... say more."

"Kai, look, I know I don't know you. But I'd like to. And if you agree, I say we go on an adventure together. You're new to the modern world, there's no way you've seen all of the coolest things we have to offer post-nineties. Let's go explore it together. We can start in New Orleans, and you can meet Kol, and then we can go wherever the hell we want after that."

Kai swallowed hard, and although I could tell he was trying to keep up his smooth, cool, scary posturing, I'd gotten pretty good at reading emotions over the years. There were finally some cracks in the mask, and I could see the hope and hurt swirling just under the surface.

"You'd really... you'd really do that?"

"Yeah. I'm all about having adventures, and I want a buddy to go see the world with. So... what do you say? Wanna be my buddy and dip out on the whole revenge thing?"

A smile tugged at the corner of Kai's mouth, and although he tried to fight it, he couldn't hold it in.

"Well, I guess since you came all this way..."

I grinned at him, not even bothering to try to play it cool. I held out my hand, and after a short pause, Kai took it.

"You know I can siphon peoples' magic by touching them, right?" he asked, his grip on my hand tightening just a little. I squeezed right back.

"Yeah, I told you before, I got briefed on your whole deal. Now c'mon, we've got places to see."

With my free hand, I pulled the Ascendant out of my pocket. I could see Kai smiling out of the corner of my eye as I started to the spell to take us back, and our hands were clasped tight enough that I could feel his heart racing through his palm. Sure, my style of dealing with things didn't always work, but a little kindness and an olive branch sure could go a long way.

It didn't take me long to get the spell right, and suddenly, Kai and I were standing in the middle of the Salvatore living room, right where I'd left Bonnie after our argument. I really shouldn't have been surprised, but we were immediately surrounded by the Mystic Falls gang, looking ready to fight.

I swore, clutching Kai's hand a little tighter. He squeezed my hand back, which I hoped was a good sign, and I did my best to stare down my friends.

"Guys, listen, I get that you're not a fan of Kai, but I seriously need you all to back the hell off-"

Their faces immediately transformed into looks of shock and horror, and then they stopped looking at me and Kai and started staring around the room instead. At the same time, I felt just the slightest trickle of my power drain away, and I turned to Kai in confusion.

"What-?"

"I made us invisible," he quickly explained, suddenly looking a little concerned. "I hope that's okay. I needed to siphon you to do it, and we didn't really have time to consult. Agh, just, don't freak out on my-"

"Kai," I held up a hand to stop him, and he immediately froze, looking at me with wide eyes. I could see the fear and insecurity as plain as day, as he clearly worried he'd just scared off his new (and only) friend. "It's okay, I was just surprised. Honestly, it was a great move. We should probably get out of here, though, before they get any ideas."

Kai sagged with relief. "Okay, good, because for a second I thought-"

"Hey. Seriously, it's okay. It's going to take more than a well-timed spell to frighten me off. I'm friends with an Original vampire, remember?"

Kai smiled at me, then started to look confused again as he raised his free hand to clutch at his chest.

"Is this... what is this? Ugh, feelings suck."

"No shit," I agreed with a laugh. Gently, I tugged him towards me with our joined hands, and he looked at me with wonder in his eyes. "You wanna talk about what it feels like?"

"It feels like I'm having a heart attack. And like... like insects are flapping around in my chest whenever I look at you. Are you secretly killing me with some spell I don't know about?"

I couldn't help a small laugh, even as I shook my head.

"Most people call those butterflies, Kai."

"This is what people were talking about when they said that? Weird, but... kinda fits."

I hummed, then on whim that I let myself be carried away by, I leaned up and kissed Kai on the cheek. He turned to look at me in complete shock, a disbelieving but happy and dazed look on his face, and I couldn't help another small laugh.

"C'mon, we can analyze how close butterflies and heart attacks are to the same feeling later," I said, tugging him along with me towards the front doors of the Salvatore house. "Right now, we've got a road trip to New Orleans to begin. And once we get to the car I can show you Spotify. You're gonna love it."

"I can't wait," he said, his voice still a little dreamy as he followed behind me. Now it was my turn to fight butterflies as we snuck out of the house together, still hand in hand. As much as I'd compared him to Kol, I'd never felt like this around my best friend.

Whatever the future held next, I could tell it was going to be an absolutely incredible adventure. And no matter what, I truly couldn't wait to get to know Kai Parker, especially away from all the drama of Mystic Falls.

I had a good feeling about this.

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dandelionlovesyou · 1 year

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Do you think that Finnick was reaped or volunteered for the games?

Hi there 😊

I think Finnick was reaped. I don't think a fourteen-year-old would volunteer, regardless of how good he was. Finnick was also not the cocky type, I mean he projected it after being a Victor, but we all knew that's all a facade.

Now, why didn't anyone take his place if he was from a career district? I'm not sure. Maybe whoever was to volunteer that year to take Finnick’s place chickened out. 🙄

OR Finnick was very good that they thought that even at 14 he could win already. Here’s how Katniss described him:

Being from District 4, he was a Career, so the odds were already in his favor, but what no trainer could claim to have given him was his extraordinary beauty. Tall, athletic, with golden skin and bronze-colored hair and those incredible eyes. While other tributes that year were hard-pressed to get a handful of grain or some matches for a gift, Finnick never wanted for anything, not food or medicine or weapons. It took about a week for his competitors to realize that he was the one to kill, but it was too late. He was already a good fighter with the spears and knives he had found in the Cornucopia. When he received a silver parachute with a trident — which may be the most expensive gift I’ve ever seen given in the arena — it was all over. District 4’s industry is fishing. He’d been on boats his whole life. The trident was a natural, deadly extension of his arm. He wove a net out of some kind of vine he found, used it to entangle his opponents so he could spear them with the trident, and within a matter of days the crown was his.

The citizens of the Capitol have been drooling over him ever since.

Finnick was a prodigy. Whoever trained him must have seen his potential. His mentor, I’m sure also knew how to play his strengths that’s why he had all he needed during his game.

I headcanon Finnick being an only child or an older brother to much younger siblings, so no one would have taken his place in the reaping. Later on in MJ, it was written that the ones Finnick loves were helpless. This could be Annie or his family. Allow me to indulge myself and add some quotes [from MJ] here about Finnick too. I really love his character and admire him for his strength, resilience, and goodness.

Thank you for the ask @browneyeddevil

... Then there’s Finnick Odair, the sex symbol from the fishing district, who kept Peeta alive in the arena when I couldn’t. They want to transform Finnick into a rebel leader as well, but first they’ll have to get him to stay awake for more than five minutes. Even when he is conscious, you have to say everything to him three times to get through to his brain. The doctors say it’s from the electrical shock he received in the arena, but I know it’s a lot more complicated than that. I know that Finnick can’t focus on anything in 13 because he’s trying so hard to see what’s happening in the Capitol to Annie, the mad girl from his district who’s the only person on earth he loves.

Despite serious reservations, I had to forgive Finnick for his role in the conspiracy that landed me here. He, at least, has some idea of what I’m going through. And it takes too much energy to stay angry with someone who cries so much. [so sad!!!] .... Finnick isn’t the only one with attention problems.

.....

I see my mother lead in a group of mobile patients, still wearing their hospital nightgowns and robes. Finnick stands among them, looking dazed but gorgeous. In his hands he holds a piece of thin rope, less than a foot in length, too short for even him to fashion into a usable noose. His fingers move rapidly, automatically tying and unraveling various knots as he gazes about. Probably part of his therapy. ..... “I can walk a little now. It’s just that I tire so quickly. It’s easier for me to get around this way. How’s Finnick doing?”

“He’s . . . he’s having concentration problems,” I answer. I don’t want to say he had a complete mental meltdown.

“Concentration problems, eh?” Beetee smiles grimly. “If you knew what Finnick’s been through the last few years, you’d know how remarkable it is he’s still with us at all. Tell him I’ve been working on a new trident for him, though, will you? Something to distract him a little.” Distraction seems to be the last thing Finnick needs, but I promise to pass on the message. [cries]

.....

Boggs shows up to escort me down to the Airborne Division. Just as the elevator arrives, Finnick appears in a state of agitation. “Katniss, they won’t let me go! I told them I’m fine, but they won’t even let me ride in the hovercraft!”

I take in Finnick — his bare legs showing between his hospital gown and slippers, his tangle of hair, the half-knotted rope twisted around his fingers, the wild look in his eyes — and know any plea on my part will be useless. Even I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring him. So I smack my hand on my forehead and say, “Oh, I forgot. It’s this stupid concussion. I was supposed to tell you to report to Beetee in Special Weaponry. He’s designed a new trident for you.”

At the word trident, it’s as if the old Finnick surfaces. “Really? What’s it do?”

“I don’t know. But if it’s anything like my bow and arrows, you’re going to love it,” I say. “You’ll need to train with it, though.”

“Right. Of course. I guess I better get down there,” he says.

“Finnick?” I say. “Maybe some pants?”

He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown, leaving him in just his underwear. “Why? Do you find this”— he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose —“distracting?”

I can’t help laughing because it’s funny, and it’s extra funny because it makes Boggs look so uncomfortable, and I’m happy because Finnick actually sounds like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell.

....

At dinner, Finnick brings his tray to my bed so we can watch the newest propo together on television. He was assigned quarters on my old floor, but he has so many mental relapses, he still basically lives in the hospital.

....

I have training, but Gale’s scheduled to work with Beetee on weapons or something, so I get permission to take Finnick to the woods. We wander around awhile and then ditch our communicators under a bush. When we’re a safe distance away, we sit and discuss Peeta’s broadcast.

“I haven’t heard one word about it. No one’s told you anything?” Finnick says. I shake my head. He pauses before he asks, “Not even Gale?” I’m clinging to a shred of hope that Gale honestly knows nothing about Peeta’s message. But I have a bad feeling he does. “Maybe he’s trying to find a time to tell you privately.”

“Maybe,” I say.

We stay silent so long that a buck wanders into range. I take it down with an arrow. Finnick hauls it back to the fence. [I missed this portion. Finnick and Katniss hunting together. They have so much time together in D13 and I admire their friendship so much. Remember that Gale became jealous of them because they just understood each other and are often together.]

....

“He’s worse,” I whisper. Finnick grasps my hand, to give me an anchor, and I try to hang on. [A perfect friend and brother Finnick was]

....

Finnick and I sit for a long time in silence, watching the knots bloom and vanish, before I can ask, “How do you bear it?”

Finnick looks at me in disbelief. “I don’t, Katniss! Obviously, I don’t. I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there’s no relief in waking.” Something in my expression stops him. “Better not to give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.” [Finnick’s enduring strength of will]

Well, he must know. I take a deep breath, forcing myself back into one piece.

“The more you can distract yourself, the better,” he says.

“First thing tomorrow, we’ll get you your own rope. Until then, take mine.” [that rope was his lifeline, yet he gave it to Katniss!]

...

Finnick sloshes some cream in my cup and reaches into the sugar bowl. “Want a sugar cube?” he asks in his old seductive voice. That’s how we met, with Finnick offering me sugar. Surrounded by horses and chariots, costumed and painted for the crowds, before we were allies. Before I had any idea what made him tick. The memory actually coaxes a smile out of me. “Here, it improves the taste,” he says in his real voice, plunking three cubes in my cup.

....

He [Plutarch] hastily calls Finnick and Haymitch over and they have a brief but intense conversation that I can see Haymitch isn’t happy with. Plutarch seems to win — Finnick’s pale but nodding his head by the end of it.

As Finnick moves to take my seat before the camera, Haymitch tells him, “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do. If it will help her.” Finnick balls up his rope in his hand. “I’m ready.”

I don’t know what to expect. A love story about Annie? An account of the abuses in District 4? But Finnick Odair takes a completely different tack.

“President Snow used to . . . sell me . . . my body, that is,” Finnick begins in a flat, removed tone. “I wasn’t the only one. If a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for an exorbitant amount of money. If you refuse, he kills someone you love. So you do it.”

....

“I wasn’t the only one, but I was the most popular,” he says. “And perhaps the most defenseless, because the people I loved were so defenseless. To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry, but I found a much more valuable form of payment.”

....

Making knots. Making knots. No word. Making knots. Ticktock. This is a clock. Do not think of Gale. Do not think of Peeta. Making knots. We do not want dinner. Fingers raw and bleeding. Finnick finally gives up and assumes the hunched position he took in the arena when the jabberjays attacked. I perfect my miniature noose. The words of “The Hanging Tree” replay in my head. Gale and Peeta. Peeta and Gale.

“Did you love Annie right away, Finnick?” I ask.

“No.” A long time passes before he adds, “She crept up on me.”

....

“Finnick!” Something between a shriek and a cry of joy. A lovely if somewhat bedraggled young woman — dark tangled hair, sea green eyes — runs toward us in nothing but a sheet.

“Finnick!” And suddenly, it’s as if there’s no one in the world but these two, crashing through space to reach each other. They collide, enfold, lose their balance, and slam against a wall, where they stay. Clinging into one being. Indivisible.

A pang of jealousy hits me. Not for either Finnick or Annie but for their certainty. No one seeing them could doubt their love.

....

Sometimes, for no reason, she [Annie] presses both her hands over her ears as if to block out a painful sound. All right, she’s strange, but if Finnick loves her, that’s good enough for me.

....

We join a group that includes Delly, Annie, and Finnick. It’s something to see Finnick’s transformation since his marriage. His earlier incarnations — the decadent Capitol heartthrob I met before the Quell, the enigmatic ally in the arena, the broken young man who tried to help me hold it together — these have been replaced by someone who radiates life. Finnick’s real charms of self-effacing humor and an easygoing nature are on display for the first time. He never lets go of Annie’s hand. Not when they walk, not when they eat. I doubt he ever plans to. She’s lost in some daze of happiness. There are still moments when you can tell something slips in her brain and another world blinds her to us. But a few words from Finnick call her back.

....

There’s a human cry from below. “Someone’s still alive,” I plead.

“No, Katniss. They’re not coming,” says Gale. “Only the mutts are.”

Unable to accept it, I shine the light from Cressida’s gun down the shaft. Far below, I can just make out Finnick, struggling to hang on as three mutts tear at him. As one yanks back his head to take the death bite, something bizarre happens. It’s as if I’m Finnick, watching images of my life flash by. The mast of a boat, a silver parachute, Mags laughing, a pink sky, Beetee’s trident, Annie in her wedding dress, waves breaking over rocks. Then it’s over. [I didn’t want to include this here but it’s parts of Finnick’s memories. I will just cry.]

...

We seal the pages with salt water and promises to live well to make their deaths count. Haymitch finally joins us, contributing twenty-three years of tributes he was forced to mentor. Additions become smaller. An old memory that surfaces. A late primrose preserved between the pages. Strange bits of happiness, like the photo of Finnick and Annie’s newborn son.

....

#finnick #Finnick Odair #thg

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paperweight-inshadesofgreige · 5 months

Text

⋆ there's a lake i know ⋆

characters ☆ alexander hamilton, aaron burr pairings ☆ alexander hamilton/aaron burr

tws ☆ almost drowning

whumpcember day 5. impaled alt 3. drowning + alt 4. ice coming up w/the title of this chapter was way too hard lmao also apologies - this one is a bit late bcs i fell asleep

fic under cut

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Burr rolled his eyes, a chuckle escaping him as he watched Hamilton stumble on the ice. He had proposed ice skating for their date, and Alexander had shyly admitted that he had never skated before. Aaron had been more than willing to teach.

With swift strides, he made his way onto the frozen lake, stopping next to Alexander, who looked at him, mouth open with astonishment.

“What— how do you do that? I can barely stand!” Alex asked, a smile on his face. Then, as if to prove his words, he lost his balance, falling into Aaron’s arms, who catched him easily.

“A lot of practice. I’ve also been doing this since I was like four, so…,” Aaron trailed off as he helped Alexander back up. The other hit him playfully.

“How do you even move on these?” Alexander’s focus drifted back to the task at hand as he looked down at his skates. “It’s like— I don’t know, it’s like I was just born? Do babies feel like this all the time?”

Aaron laughed, causing Alex to shoot him an exasperated look. Gently, Aaron grabbed his hands, starting to skate backwards, his pace slow. “Just follow me.”

Alexander staggered a little at first, but he soon got the hang of it, smiling as his boyfriend guided him. Aaron felt his heart melt. He would give anything for that smile, anyday, anywhere, anytime.

“You think you can try to do it alone?” Aaron asked, and Alexander nodded. Aaron let go and watched from the side as Alexander took a few small steps before picking up the speed. Soon he was nearly flying across the ice, as if he was the one who had had years of skating experience.

Aaron tilted his head as his gaze followed Alexander, endearment evident in his eyes. The sun shone down, illuminating Alexander in a warm light.

Perhaps it was the admiring that distracted him, but next thing Aaron knew, there was a hole in the ice, a heartwrenching shout of fear echoed in his ears and Alexander was nowhere to be seen.

✮

Alexander hadn’t been this happy in days. There had always been something in his subconscious, whether it be a project, an essay or an upcoming exam. Yet somehow Aaron could always find time and peace for them, a bubble in his usually hectic life for calming down.

Alexander looked at the trails he made in the ice, amazed at how natural ice skating felt after he had gotten the hang of it. He chuckled, let out a breath of relief, but then he heard an ominous crack, a hollow sound coming from under his feet.

Dread forming a pit in his stomach, Alexander looked down at the ice again, taking a hesitant step.

And then the cold swallowed him. He was drowning, he was drowning, he was drowning . He heard himself shout before water covered him, and he was back on that island, water everywhere, screaming, crying, thunder, water, so much water.

His lungs were burning, his eyes were stinging, images of those dead bodies flashing in his mind. He needed to get out, he needed to get out .

Alexander struggled to push his body upwards, expecting the sweet rush of air, but instead, he was met with ice. Even more panic surged through him, his heartbeat ringing in his ears.

But then he emerged, gasps turning into coughs as he scrambled to get a grasp on the slippery ice. Everything was blurred, he couldn't get a hold of the ice, he was going to drown—

“Alexander!” a sharp, familiar voice rang out and Alexander saw something being thrown next to him. “Grab the rope!”

So he did. Alexander channeled all of his remaining energy into clasping his hands around the thick item, only relaxing when he felt arms wrapped around him.

✮

Aaron held Alexander close to his chest, gently patting the other’s back as coughs racked his body. Eventually they stopped, and Alexander took deep breaths. Aaron’s brows were furrowed, tears brimming in his eyes as what had just happened sunk in.

God, he had almost lost Alex.

“Shh, you're safe now. You're safe, you're safe, you're safe…,” he repeated it like a mantra, unsure which one of them he was trying to convince.

Alexander sighed and leaned into Aaron, his breathing slightly unsteady. Then he closed his eyes and shivered slightly. “Cold,” he whispered softly.

Sure enough, his lips did seem a little bluish as his teeth chattered. Aaron sighed, gathered himself before picking Alex up.

“Whuh- Where are you-,” Alex started, but Aaron shushed him.

“We're going to get you warm,” he said, the comfort of their dorm already in his mind. Maybe he could also get a cup of hot chocolate for Alex.

Upon hearing this, the boy in his arms relaxed, nodding slightly. “‘kay.”

#whumpcember2023 #day: 5 #alt 3 #alt 4 #whump #hamilton whump #hamilton fanfiction

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erins-quinn · 4 months

Text

“about the blogger” meme

thanks for the tag @currymanganese @cruciomione and @ashluvsu4ever (some tagged sydneys-adamu but that’s still me!! lol) this is late as hell but y’all are real cool! 🩷

star sign: scorpio! as far as all that other stuff like rising and moon and sun I’m not sure.

favorite holiday: I don’t have one but I’d have to say christmas for the food

last meal: chicken soup bc winter slapped me in the face now I’m sick

current favorite musician: don’t have one! I kinda hate music

last music listened to: “I know the end” by phoebe bridgers. doesn’t help my I hate music stance but that song is great so what I will do is put that song and just that song on repeat for months and not even touch anything else. I’ve also been listening to the parade revival bcr for months now.

last movie watched: blue beetle I think? and that was kind of a while ago. but great film! a lot better than I was expecting.

last tv show watched: besides just putting stuff on for noise im gonna say jury duty. an incredible watch you should consider if you haven’t already.

last book/fic finished: it was sydcarmy but I can’t remember the title. but it’s about their first fight in the cross over between whatevership and relationship and carmen gets sick and I’m also sick so!!

last book/fic abandoned: I mean I don’t read books, so that’s abandonment all on its own and if I abandon fics im not gonna publicize that lol.

currently reading: … not a book. and honestly idk basically besides re reading I’m currently reading most sydcarmy wips. I haven’t read for a different fandom since june lmao.

last thing researched for art/writing/hyper-fixation: I think “how to make a crochet coaster” I’m thinking about starting to sell and of course idk how to go about it but I figure actually making shit is a good start? who knows.

favorite online fandom memory: this isn’t a “fandom” per se (say? idk) but back in 2020-2021 I used to spend a lot of time on twitch and I got really attached to this one guy and his community. anyways I called a pop tart and a toaster strudel the same thing and got positively annihilated by the chat. twas very funny.

favorite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: hmmm idk. for the sake of not having the same answer twice I’d say maybe cobra kai. I really miss loving that show and the ship I was attached to had meta that reminds me of sydcarmy. when the engagement was high it was really fun and if people suddenly decided to start caring again I’d go right back.

favorite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big “fandom” but you wish it did: american vandal!!! it’s less that I want it to have a big fandom because really who wants that and more I just wanted to know the show was appreciated, which it wasn’t :(

tempting project you’re trying to reign in/don’t have time for: I was almost roped into embroidery and punch needling and then I had to actually consider the fact that there’s no way I could commit to that. maybe one day tho.

if u see this pretend I tagged you and do it! :)

#me to me: pipe down!

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jujumin-translates · 1 year

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Event | Secret Happy Factory | Chapter 8

Sakuya: Hmm…

Sakuya: Maybe it’s better if it’s clear that it’s PR from the start?

Azami: Eh?

Director: What do you mean?

Sakuya: Of course, everyone knows it’s PR from the start because of the PR tag on the posts, but…

Sakuya: I was thinking that maybe because it seemed like a normal post, that’s why it’s been harder to convince people.

Sakuya: So that’s why it’d be better if it was obvious that it’s a PR project! That’s what I thought at least.

Director: I see, that could work…!

Azami: But, when you say “project”… What exactly do you mean?

Director: Hmm, if we’re going to do something like that, I think we need to go with something we have as much experience with as possible so we can do the best we can do in a short time.

Sakuya: Acting is what we do best. Plus we’ve done plays for PR purposes in the past.

Sakuya: Besides, I’m sure that there’s some people that will come to see us just for the play.

Director: Mhm. I’m sure that most of the people who follow our social media are following us because of our plays.

Director: And we’ll be able to use the new cosmetics for the makeup this time.

Director: It’s kinda late to sell tickets or do a large-scale streaming event, but maybe… We could do it on the MANKAI Channel!

Sakuya: We can put the link to the Elfriede website in the description…

Director: Maybe you can put a link specifically to the page for the new cosmetics.

Sakuya: What do you think, Azami-kun?

Azami: …Guess we’ll just have to try, won’t we?

Director: Yeah! Then let’s go talk to Tsuzuru-kun and Yuki-kun about the plot for the script and the costumes.

Director: I’ll contact Elfriede on my end.

Sakuya: Thank you!

Azami: Makeup, a play, cosmetics PR… If we want to get our fans who come to see our plays interested in cosmetics too…

Azami: That reminds me of before when…

Azami: …I’ve got it.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Azami: …Alright, your makeup’s all done, Citron-san.

Citron: Thank you!

Muku: Waah…! These costumes are so fluffy and sparkly and cute…!

Muku: Yuki-kun really is incredible… I can’t believe he can make costumes like this so quickly.

Guy: These clothes were made as a gift for Citronia, correct?

Citron: Yes! The madams helped out. They were made as a collaboration between the madams and Yuki ♪

Tenma: It was still a huge modification process, though, and honestly, it took a whole lot of effort…

Citron: I heard that you helped with the costumes this time, Tenma.

Tenma: Yeah. It seemed like Yuki was having a hard time, so I checked in on him and he ended up roping me into it.

Sakuya: But I’m really looking forward to performing this play with these wonderful costumes and makeup and script and it’s all thanks to everyone’s efforts.

Azami: Sakuya-san.

Sakuya: Ah, sorry! I’m coming!

*Footsteps*

Muku: Fufu. I think we all feel the same way as Sakuya-kun.

Tenma: Yeah, true.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3!#a3! translation #sakuya sakuma #azami izumida #citron #muku sakisaka #tenma sumeragi #guy nishiki

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nebulein · 2 years

Note

it was so good. now im sad. my bbs!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

(context)

Sorry, sorry. If you spy the angst tag on my 1988 posts, tread with caution. I just can't seem to help myself 😅 🤷‍♀️

Also warning the below will not entirely fix it but...

Originally the fic concept was supposed to go with a heartbreak ending of one of them leaving and one staying and it's the separation that finally makes them realize how much they depended on the other always being there, even when they were barely speaking, deep down there was always this rock of the other person going through the same things, through thick and thin, the highs and the lows, and now even that is gone. And if you really wanna break your heart, listen to Wrecked or while thinking about this, cause... yeah.

Days pass by and my eyes they dry And I think that I’m okay ‘Till I find myself in conversation fading away The way you smile, the way you walk, The time you took to teach me all that you had taught Tell me how am I supposed to move on These days I’m becoming everything that I hate Wishing you were around but now it’s too late My mind is a place that I can’t escape your ghost Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away One more rainy day without you Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day One more rainy day Oh I’m a wreck without you here Yeah I’m a wreck since you’ve been gone I’ve tried to put this all behind me I think I was wrecked all along Yeah I’m a wreck

But. I feel like that ending at least leaves the door kind of open. Maybe this is the darkest valley that they need to go through, the separation they never got that they need to find out who they are on their own, without the other always there. What it means to just be Jonny. To just be Pat. And it hurts at first, boy howdy does it hurt, but sometimes we need to shed the past to find out what we want in life. Jonny gets traded at the deadline, but the Blue Jackets flake out in the second round. Does another stint with the Kraken and then retires at the end because his heart just isn't in it anymore, his body to banged up. Goes on all the yoga retreats he can find, spends some time tanning in Sedona, smokes up in Kathmandu, finds a guru and microdoses on shrooms and finally returns to Canada ready to start the next chapter in his life. Kaner signs another year with the Hawks at a discount that makes everyone lose their marbles, but Pat put down roots, he doesn't want to leave and he likes Richardson, but seeing the C on Seth's chest grates in a way he didn't anticipate and it's hard to break records on a team that can't play its way out of paper bag.

He's gonna become a GM one day, of course. Starts out as player development consultant, works his way up. Maybe takes some MBA classes. Meets Jonny on an stupid alumni golf tournament he got roped into, and it's good but also weird. He can't quite put his finger on it, but Jonny's different. Still the same kind of dry humor and lameass comebacks, still thinks of himself as a way better golfer than he actually is, but when Jonny talks about his travels, about his new endeavors, a clean water project down in Peru and something to do with kites and energy? Pat doesn't know, he wasn't really listening, caught by how the wrinkles on Jonny's face are visible all the time now, not just when he's smiling. But also, he's kind of smiling a lot, looking relaxed in a way that Pat hasn't seen, the tight cast around his mouth that had been there almost 24/7 back when they'd still played on the Hawks together entirely gone, the slant of his shoulders so different from the hunched up Jonny in his memories. He's got a tiny bit of a belly now, which is maybe most surprising of all. It looks good on him, though, gives him a mellowness that wasn't there before.

Jonny's different, is the point, and Kaner finds himself intrigued.

#are they gonna be able to breach the gap the years have created between them?#who knows #they're both different men now in their forties #but the foundations that once drew them together aren't gone - they've just been buried #there's something to build on if they want to #can you tell i've been reading too much damn retirement fic lately #anywhere he's my attempt at a fix it #neb writes #nonnie asks #1988 #hockey husbands #jonathan toews #patrick kane #hockey baby

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labyrinth-runner · 2 years

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Hello Lovelies!

Just an Update

I’ve had a couple people ask me about Tag Lists for Hold My Hand lately.

First of all, I am very flattered both by everyone’s interest, but also by everyone’s faith in my ability to have my shit together. I am remiss to say that I am very bad at remembering what I had for breakfast these days between school, writing, and my full time job.

HOWEVER

Everything I write on here ends up on ao3 at some point. If it’s an active series (Like HMH is) I update simultaneously to ao3. And ao3 actually has some exclusive content for other fandoms that I haven’t posted on here (i.e an Obidala fic that’s like 50+ chapters, some really old stuff from my Fairy Tail days, etc). I’m like 90% positive that my username is the same as it is on here. However, if you search Beau Cyclone Simpson x Reader on there, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that comes up still lol.

An Update on HMH:

I have Chapter 3 started. I have a goal of about 11 chapters for the whole thing. It’s all plotted out, more or less, I just may not be able to bang it out on a consistent schedule. I’m current working on my Critical Thesis for my second Masters program and I need to try to make that a priority because I haven’t been and I need it to graduate. So, if it’s a little longer in between chapters, please know its not lack of interest on my part, it’s because I’m working on my big kid paper or just drained from working full time (I just got a new promotion so I’m learning the ropes and it’s a lot. Sometimes I feel like I get one sphere of my life in control and then another one falls out of balance. If you’ve been following since last year, my personal relationships are back in balance aaaand now the work sphere is shifting out. We’ve had a lot of people quit so I’ve been trying to keep my dept together but we dropped from like 8 people down to 4. I kinda feel like I’m Jack in the water at the end of Titanic trying to make sure Rose is okay and she tells me she’ll never let go but then pushes me into the water).

My goal is to have HMH finished finished by the end of this fall. I might hope to get back into my Homework M-Th, Fanfic on the weekends schedule that I was on last spring. It may not happen like that, but I would like to average a chapter every 1-2 weeks if that’s okay with you guys.

Again, I thank you all for your support. Your kind words always make me smile. I always read your tags on the reblogs. I’m just glad to contribute to the Top Gun Fandom in a meaningful way.

To my Star Wars peeps, I have stuff in the works. I just want to finish my fucking novel first because it’s a long haul big ticket project that I don’t want to feel like I’m cheating on my novel with.

As always, my ask box is always open. I dooooo take requests. I don’t always publish them in a timely manner (I’m so sorry) but I do try to answer all of them. If its a one shot request it’ll take me longer just because I have to plot it out and sometimes my other projects take over my free time. I’ll always get to head canons within 24-48 hours (I usually do most of my typing around 8pm EST so keep an eye out for that). And if its just a normal ask or to chat, I’ll answer as instantaneously as I can (provided I’m not asleep or my boss is nearby ;) )

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mondscheinprinzessin · 2 years

Note

110 “is that a drawing of me?” for tommi/aleksi? 👉🏼🥺👈🏼

Destroys the banner “I hate kidfic” and puts up a new banner with the words “BC would make cute dads” (What are you making me do?!)

Aleksi promised himself to not stay as late at the studio as he usually would. Or rather he had promised Tommi after he had asked him to be home for dinner so they could eat together, as a family.

It was important for him not only so they could spend some time together as a couple but also so Veeti and Aleksi could get closer, the most important person in Tommi’s life next to Aleksi.

Aleksi wouldn’t have thought to be a father in his life, not with his lifestyle and ambitions and tendency to be a workaholic, all good reasons to put family planning on the backburner and even dating. But meeting Tommi had been an accident, a happy one.

Their coffees had gotten mixed up at the coffeeshop they apparently both frequently visited on their way to work and after Aleksi had searched for the real Tommi to the name on his cup he couldn’t let go of him anymore.

They had met up again even though Aleksi didn’t hope for anything to happen, he would understand with the lack of time he had. But to his pleasant surprise Tommi gave him an equal story of his life, how he was living for his work in the hospital.

Until two years ago when he got the news of his friends passing, leaving a child behind, Tommi’s godchild to be exact, and Tommi wouldn’t have thought having to step into this role so early. Not that he didn’t want to be a father, but he had planned all this differently.

That again was a lot to take in for Aleksi, but he didn’t call the date off immediately. It just took some time to settle in what dating Tommi would entail, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it or if he was the right person for them.

After all, what did he knew about children except from his siblings? Fearing he would be the worst, Tommi calmed him down with the words that alone that he was scared showed him how seriously he was taking the situation and at least Tommi would be at his side, showing him the ropes.

It was still awkward to interact with Veeti the first times. So young, only having entered elementary school last year Aleksi didn’t know what they should talk about or what he should do with him.

He had actually debated buying books for parents to get better, but Tommi had assured him he was doing everything right.

But Aleksi would still argue that he wasn’t a father to Veeti and after only a few months he knew it was too early for Veeti to see him as such, especially if he continued to work late into the night and miss Veeti talking about school and projects and excursions and his hobbies and his friends and just everything that was important to him.

This was the reason Aleksi found himself out of the studio while it was still light outside, stopping by a grocery store to buy the ingredients for dinner Tommi had send him a list off and then shortly after entering Tommi’s flat.

It was time and time again endearing to watch Tommi around his son and seeing him showing Veeti how he was cooking and letting him help with little things reminded Aleksi of his own childhood and it became warm around his heart no matter how unforeseen this moment was in his life.

Dinner went by without a hitch, it was just always a hard time getting Veeti to lie down and sleep and Aleksi could tell that Tommi was still learning the same as Aleksi. Being a parent never grew boring, but it was certainly nice to cuddle on the couch with the low tone of the TV in the background while they talked about their day without children’s ears picking up the cursed complaints about their co-workers.

“I’ve only got alcohol free beer in the fridge, but you can take one if you want.” Tommi offered, lifting his arm from Aleksi’s shoulder when he got up to walk into the kitchen.

He switched on the light and was about to open the fridge when he noticed something pinned on the door. Next to letters in various colours that formed random words, and pictures of Tommi and Veeti, and a single postcard, there was a specific drawing that got Aleksi’s attention.

There always was a drawing hanging on the fridge but this time the picture offered something different. First of all there were three people plus a dog, and Aleksi didn’t know about any other dogs in their life except Rilla who he had taken with him often so she wouldn’t be alone, but if that was supposed to be Rilla, then…

Carefully taking the drawing from the magnets Aleksi got back into the living room. He didn’t want to assume, but he had to know.

Tommi already pulled his leg back to make room for Aleksi, but he stopped in front of him to show him the picture. “Is that a drawing of me?”

Tommi looked from his face to the stick figure alike people on the paper, taking it from his hands, and Aleksi let himself fall next to Tommi on the couch.

“Yeah. Veeti, I, you, Rilla.” Tommi said and pointed to each figure with a name. “I was surprised he didn’t show you, but I guess he’s quite shy about it.”

“I will tell him tomorrow that I love it, it’s just…” Aleksi trailed off, not able to put his feelings into words.

Tommi took him back into his arms. “Hey, we talked about it, everything in its own pace. Veeti likes you, let’s leave it at that and not overthink.”

Aleksi nodded into the hug, the drawing now on the table in front of them where Aleksi could see it when he wasn’t currently watching the show.

#answered #prompt adventures #-#Yeah I don’t know shit about kids pls excuse this fic #Me while killing off the kid’s parents off screen:#I could have just made Tommi a divorced dad wth

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rottencoyote · 3 months

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for like, idk maybe for like four months i’ve been pissed off at my friend, FOR GOOD REASON BRO I SWEAR! so when i was still doing uni (studying in film for whoever wanted to know, and somehow graduated idea bro that was the big man upstairs doing me a solid for once), me and my friend went on break and walked around the city doing fuck knows what, cause that’s what uni students do ig. she was bored, and i was bored, so i was like “hey! wanna go see my favourite store? sells cool shit” (by cool shit, i mean cool clothing and jewellery and other neat lil nick nacks) and she said “sure id love to!”.

now a thing about my friend is that she likes to steal. actively steal. both because she thinks it’s fun and because she can’t afford what she wants sometimes cause she spends most her money on vapes and weed and a bunch of other psychedelics. before we entered the store, i made her promise not to steal, cause i love and respect the fuck out of this store and i’ve wanted to work there since i was fifteen (and i’m now twenty). she said she promised and swore she wouldn’t take anything, and me being a fucking hopeful and trusting dumb fuck, believed her. now i saw this really sick hoodie, where it was basically a cropped hoodie (STAY WITH ME ON THIS) but it was made to look like a rib cage, so it was fucking cool. the owner sold it to me for 45 bucks, but the hoodie originally costed 55 bucks, so she took ten bucks off cause i fell in love with this hoodie, so i got real fucking hyped and thanked her profusely. now, this is a key thing to remember, cause the tags they used were airtags. the type of tags where it needed to be unlocked with a type of pin at the front desk. otherwise you can’t take that shit off, unless you got scissors (this is also important).

so my friend went into the change room with a BUNCH of clothes, and i waited near the front and had small talk with the store owner, asking if it’s been busy, slow, shit like that. i noticed that my friend is taking a long fucking time, so i go to check on her and ask if she’s good, and she said yes, paused then asked “hey coyote? do you have any scissors in your bag? i need it for my nails”

now this is where a lot of my guilt comes in, cause i genuinely didn’t realise my mistake until it was too late. i said yeah in my bag (which was in the change room with her) and she said thanks. i always carry scissors on me cause i like to scrap book, and if i see anything interesting i cut it out and sample it to put into my sketch book so i get inspired for any future projects.

after like another ten minutes she finally comes out, but i notice two things. the first was that there were significantly less clothes than when she walked into the change rooms with, and the second thing was noticing something sticking out of her pocket.

SHE CUT THE FUCKING TAGS OFF WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO FUCKING STEAL. SHE EVEN PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES TOO!!!!

like????

now i’m freaking out, cause i don’t want to get roped into this. and she kept on trying to reassure me and said it’s fine she’s a ‘pro’ at this. bro idgaf you promised me and BROKE that promise. the lady asked where the clothes were, and my friend said in the free clothes box. so i go and check, literally emptying the box while thinking “she’s fucked, i’m fucked, we’re BOTH fucked, god PLEASE no” just planning out my fucking funeral atp, and the woman goes to the BOTH OF US “empty your bags, now.”

i watched her empty her bag, fucking cringing and mortified, just watching the store owner tear into her, saying she has to pay for all of it. i started apologising profusely, telling her i didn’t know she was going to do this, just kept on saying i’m sorry over and over again, cause i’m livid, mortified, just fucking humiliated at my friend. BRO, THE STOREOWNER DEADASS LOOKED ME IN THE EYE, AND SAYS THAT I WAS IN ON IT?? HUH??? KEEP IN MIND THERES LIKE FOUR OTHER PEOPLE IN THE STORE WATCHING THIS HAPPENING AND WERE JUST JUDGING US. (which i don’t blame them, cause it was a fucking shitshow and a half). the storeowner asked her how did she even do this, and she said “i used my nails to cut the fabric”…bro come ON LIKE-

you could tell she used scissors, CAUSE SHE DID. MY DAMN SCISSORS THAT WERE IN MY BAG. CAUSE IM A STUPID FUCKING DUMB FUCK WHO REALISED WHAT SHE WAS DOING WAY TOO FUCKING LATE.

i genuinely wanted to fucking cry AND die man, right then and there. i was so unbelievably humiliated and embarrassed cause my fucking friend couldn’t keep her damn hands to herself and couldn’t keep her promise. the storeowner said that she did the same thing at our age, and said she wouldn’t call the cops on us, i tried saying sorry again and that i never meant for my friend to do this, and pretty much got shut down again and that the storeowner didn’t want to hear my excuses. i ended up dragging my friend out from there and tearing her a new one, saying how i can never show my face there or even step foot into that store again, and she kept saying sorry, but also tried to joke about it?? which only made me more fucking angry, cause any chance i had of working there was just fucking trampled, chewed and spat onto the fucking dirt because of her.

i feel guilty cause i was unknowingly involved until it was too late, but i’m angry and hurt because she promised me that she wouldn’t steal from there, but did it anyways and didn’t give two shits, and that i got pulled into it and blamed because if she was stealing, then that meant i was stealing too. idk man, cause it’s been four months and it’s STILL bugging me, cause it was literally MY DREAM to work there. it sucks man. it really fucking sucks.

#vent post #personal #personal vent #shits fucked #idek man #just pissed off that i can’t ever show my face there again #idk maybe i’m just thinking too much about it but i wanted to work there for five years bro

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potuzzz · 1 year

Text

A Glimpse Into Holy Foolery

I’ve been out of touch with the Other World for a long time now. It scared the shit out of me. I severed most of it, set firm boundaries on what was “too far,” and was quite fine with that decision for a long time.

However, I have lost something incredibly dear to me and now I feel thrust into a life that requires me to don on old hats.

I always know when God is calling me.

It was a rainstorm. It was 3AM. I had endured another night of loneliness but the rain--especially with thunder and lightning and late at night--is always my friend. It is like an entirely different world. The usual American thrums of incessant, desperate clawing are completely gone. Nobody dares walk in rain except for necessity, lest their unholy skin blister in the waters of Heaven. The streets are empty, and when they are, the Other World lets out a breath of relief and enjoys its moment as sovereign.

The flashes of light were stark but gentle. Steam rose from every surface and gave privacy to all the new wayfarers. It was so empty but so alive, in a primordial, beautifully natural way. All the new greenery of spring glistened in steady streams of rain that fell like shimmering ropes.

I sensed opportunity and so I smoked, and sat with it for a while. I made a short video. I knew I had to walk but I hesitated because I knew I would end up completely soaked, and my damaged mind of the last month has left me addicted to my phone and constantly anxious about lost opportunity to record voice or memos, to exploit every single second of my existence towards long-term goals.

I walked down the road. I entered a path. I regretted bringing my phone. I had had beautiful flow, political knowledge, but it was stifled when the red light came on. It was too late to go back so I compromised and turned off my phone, which was good because my wind breaker was not as waterproof as I had thought.

Incredibly soon after I turned it off, God spoke to me.

I had had a thought, and in that moment after a long darkness, then the sky chose to erupt in the brightest light, with no sound.

I do not remember many specifics of the conversation...unfortunately the most real moments in life often escape memory, refusing to be caged within words and numbers. I do remember a lot of it was motifs I am very familiar with, regarding my personal failings and charted growth necessary to fulfill my purpose.

The pain of the last year, and particularly the last few months, and particularly the last month, has hurt me deep. Am you really going to go down the path of the Devil?, God asked. No, I replied. But it’s so hard. I’m hurting so bad. But fine. I’ll be loyal.

Then you must be ready, God said, for whatever fate I have in store for you.

It was then that I realized I had approached the entrance of the tunnel.

In daytime it was a little unnerving. The kind that wild men like me cackle at. It made my dog friends uncomfortable, as much as my mad glee comforted them...they still felt unnerved, and was more than just the ringing echoes of me being silly. It was a spot I knew to not cross paths with other walkers, lest their fear overwhelm them and projections of monsters plaster my visage.

That was during the daytime. During the nighttime? This place was a crypt. It was soiled ground. There was something deeply wrong that I could sense the moment God said their piece and my eyes lifted to meet the harrowing maw.

I knew something was going to happen. I was going to be tested. As I often am when I commune with God. I have endured many training sessions the last few years. I have dealt with foul entities. I could not be afraid. But at the same time, I was so low. I felt so dirty and broken and damned. I could not let my personal life get in the way of doing holy work. So, with little hesitation, I walked into the maw.

It was like walking into a faded dimension. The walls of the Other were so incredibly thin, thinner than I have seen in a while. My entire vision became a haze, smoothly but frantically crinkling, pulsating with speed, like an endless sinkhole drawing in everything around it. I literally felt the air on my skin, it was electric but also so hollow and oppressive. It was like I had, without realizing what I was doing, walked through a film, and I had been coated in its webs.

I sensed entities.

I kept strong. I walked through the tunnel. I stopped to look back, and around me. It was so dark. I could feel them coax my fear. I kept strong. I made it to the other side.

I was rattled. I kept a very masculine energy in me as I slowly fled the tunnel to the other side and beyond, an energy that was strong and ready to fight, but I also could not conceal a very light but very deep root of fear that was stinking off of me like garbage. I looked behind me several times...I was sure one of them was following me.

I know I cannot be afraid. It is that simple.

I was drowning. I was soaked. My head was down. My heart was beaten and bruised. My mind was cracked. My spirit was broken. I was miserable.

I simply had to not be.

So, I tried.

It was that simple. I tried.

And then, I felt X. I had always suspected he might be my patron saint, a guardian angel of sorts, and this moment solidified this feeling. I felt him. He was inside me. His energy lifted me up by the pecs. It was empowering. I felt strong. I felt bravado. I felt joy. I felt masculine bravado in this moment that I needed it the most. I threw off my hood so the rain may hit my fair and soak my hair. I ignored the houses of wretches, of fascist eyes and ears relaying me to the Devil, and burst out into song for God. The thunder accentuated my song; the three of us sang together. I was honored to be a vessel.

X and God told me I knew what I had to do, which, of course, I did already. It was good that I had reclaimed my energy, that the repose had helped me secure my stance, my posture, but everything beyond that was delaying the inevitable.

You know who waits back for you there, God said. Will you destroy them? Or heal them?

Heal them, of course. I have no power to destroy.

I drew a deep breath. I turned back around, and walked back to the tunnel. I gave thanks to their help as I knew I was about to have to walk into the lion’s den alone.

I sang to it. There were many minor ones but there was one that was more medium-sized, larger and more developed than the thing in the swamp from last year.

The evil feel sadness, it just is not quite the same as we feel it. They feel it heavy in their hearts, like a phantom pain of a severed limb, but they do not feel it in their eyes and their mouths. Their sadness is cold, and lonely.

I sang to this person. They were quite receptive. They listened. I performed my song well.

However, I skirted my ultimate duty. I knew from before the re-entrance that I was supposed to be still, to quiet down, and to open up and allow the evil in, so that I may purify it within and transmute it into light. To overcome the hypnogogic fear one normally only feels with Fear Eaters in their most vulnerable states. I did not. I only did my song. The person may or may not have been helped by my song, but I knew they wanted--nay, needed--to put their fear and hatred and hurt inside of me, so that I may heal them. I could not give it to them. Perhaps I was too scared. They looked quite sad as I softly sang my farewell and, looking over my shoulder many times, left them in the tunnel. I could see their outline watching me forlornly for quite some time, with mixed feelings towards me.

God gave me a C+. It would have been a C but I performed some sort of hidden bonus objective, and did it well, so that bumped up my grade. Considering I failed my primary task, I think that is more than fair. I chuckled about it. I gave thanks to both God and X, the song reached a buoyant but collected climax.

And, with a flash, God too said their goodbyes for the night. I went home with no entities following me. I stayed up far too late wasting time, as I have been doing quite often lately. I fear this is neither a marathon nor a sprint but an indefinite marathon off the tracks of any known roads. I don’t know how foolish my holy foolery is meant to be. I don’t know what sort of ill-advised behaviors I should do.

Though, maybe I already do, and I’m just scared.

Fear is the enemy. I am exhausted fighting it. I will have to coup de grace it, because while C’s are good for now, if I truly want everything to go as I wish it could, I will have to do much better than that. I wish I could enjoy a medium-level life before rocketing into the unknown, though perhaps digging my feet and trying to slow the launch will do nothing but tear up my soles and the floors of all those who house me.

This is the truth.

I fight to fear nothing.

And, if I do, I will be a vessel for divine providence.

And I will be sacrificed.

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patrickztump · 3 years

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i did it i did it i DID IT. ya girl made a semi-huge purchase of biothane and hardware to make leashes and sell them in the local artisan-charity shop. here’s to hoping it all goes smoothly 🤞🏻🤞🏻

#babble post #am i nervous i’ll fail? a lil yeah #but honestly it can’t be 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 hard #the hard part will be actually selling #and it’s really not a huge order at all but considering i’ve never done it. it’s sizable #also finally going to be selling vinyl decals #i came so close to doing so in 2019 but just ... didn’t #if this goes well i may venture into rope leads as well #but i’ve been doing a lot of rope projects lately #so that’s in the ‘we’ll see’ pile

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luimagines · 3 years

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Not sure how familiar you are with Four Swords but would you be interested in writing separate Red, Blue, Green and Vio X reader? Obviously can be in an LU setting but doesn’t have to be! My girlfriend is a massive Four simp I know she’d swoon at this.

As always love your work! ❤️❤️

- Gaylactic-Fire

Masterlist

You've got it!

Color centric scenarios are a go!

Content under the cut!

Green

Your laughter bounced off of the forest canopy as you ran though the foliage.

Green held onto your hand tightly as he led the way, dodging in and out of bushes and the underbrush so frequently that you were sure you were thoroughly lost.

“Green!” You shout after a short twig scratches your ankle. “Where are we even going?”

“Somewhere special!” He replies with a wink over his shoulder.

That’s the only answer you get before he has you climbing over a particularly impressive rock, passing you the basket that he’s brought along and climbing right after you.

You shake your head and try your hardest not to look into the goods that he’s brought. He made you promise before you started out here to not peak and you don’t want to break it simply because you’re curios.

Granted, it a basket and he’s taking you somewhere special away from the people and his especially his brother- you think you can guess what’s inside and what you’re doing.

Green reaches up to where you are and takes the basket but a cheeky finger wave. “You promised~!”

“I know.” You snort. “I wasn’t looking.”

“Mm-hm...” He takes your hand again and begins to pull you along gentler along the rock and moves aside a curtain of vines before ushering you forward.

It’s a hidden tunnel and with wide and delighted eyes you venture forward, your boyfriend at your back before you come to a crystal cave, a blanket set on the dry rock below with multiple candles not only holding the blankets down but decorating the atmosphere with their flickering light, sending a filter of rainbow light across the cave.

A gasp leaves your mouth and you dash in front of the little display. “When did you do this? How did you find this place? I knew you taking me a for picnic but I didn’t think-”

“Happy anniversary.” Green holds out a single red rose in front of him a happy and bashful smile on his face.

Your heart drops to your feet when you accept the flower. “Green... oh, I’m sorry... I completely forgot. I didn’t get you anything.”

“I thought so.” Green admits. “You’ve been so nervous about acing your exams that you weren’t thinking much about anything else. But it gave me all the opportunity I needed to plan this, find this place and set everything up!”

“This is incredible Green, thank you.” You lean forward and kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry I’ve been so stuck in my head recently.”

“Don’t be.” Green takes your hands and kisses your knuckles. “If you pass the test you get to work in the castle as a royal court herbalist. It’s a big deal. They only accept the best of the best.”

“I’m so nervous.” You say confidently.

“That’s ok.” Green chuckles. “But take a break for a little, yeah? I brought your favorites.”

Blue

You had left him the forge to work on the latest commission but you were beginning to suspect that he hadn’t once paused or taken a break.

And that just won’t stand.

So you walk right on in and wave to Green who’s working the front of the shop.

Green brightens at seeing your face and throws a thumb back toward the entrance to the forge. “Blue’s back there.”

“Has he left at all?’ You ask with a small smile on your lips.

Green shakes his head.

You sigh and shake your head.” That’s what I thought.”

“Gonna get him out?”

“I’m gonna try.” You admit with a shrug and walk toward the door.

“If anyone can, it’s you.” Green calls as you leave and you take a breath to brace yourself for the smell and the heat of the place.

You walk on it and look around, trying to get past the always dim light and spot him in the back by the anvil, the glowing amber light of the metal lighting up his face.

You step as close as you while still being safe of the sparks.

“Blue!” You call out.

He stops and looks up from the project before dunking it in the bucket of water nearby.

He leaves it there and begins to make his way over to you with a smile on his face. “Hey. I’m still working.”

“I can see that.” You say with a smile. “I was wondering if you would like to go get something to eat with me.”

Blue stalls for a moment, the idea waging a war in his mind. “...I’m still working.”

“It’s just a break, Blue. It’ll still be there when you get back.” You try to persuade him. “Please.”

You put on your cutest puppy eyes and lean closer, even going as far as to put hand in front of you as you plead your case.

Blue bites his lip and worries the leather of his gloves but he doesn’t say anything.

You wait for a moment and drop your hands. “Is that a no?”

It’s hard to hide the disappointment in your voice and facial expression and you know that Blue sees it.

But you smile a little and nod. “That’s fine. We still have that date planned this weekend, right? I’ll.... I’ll see you then.”

“No.” Blue takes of his gloves. “I’m coming. Let’s go get lunch.”

“I- Really?” You blinked and don’t bother hiding your grin. “And you’re commission?”

“It’ll be there when I get back.” Blue takes the apron off and puts it on a nearby hook, taking your hand as he begins to leave the forge.

You’re sure that there’s a lot of safety hazards that he’s currently throwing out the window but Green is good at this too so hopefully he’ll cover for Blue.

You both exit and Blue is barely holding himself together. He’s just short of sprinting away from the shop entirely, waving to his brother on the way out while you giggle and give Green a wink.

It’s lunch time!

Red

“RED!” You cried out into the open. “RED!”

No one answers.

“Oh man, why me?” You whine and begin jogging down the road. “Of all days! ...RED! RED!”

Still nothing.

You at least take a moment to thank your lucky stars that there’s no one else on the road beside you or else they’d think you’re crazy for simply yelling out a color and expecting something to happen.

“I’m here!” You hear him call out at last.

Relief covers your entire body in a single wave and you pick up your pace. “Red, where have you been? Vio is going to have an aneurism about being on time with the dinner with your dad and grandpa and ....oh dear...”

You look up and see a very familiar red tunic... hanging upside down- hat on the ground and boots in the air, a single foot stretched out and held by a rope trap connected to a very tall tree.

You blink and sit yourself on the forest floor under you. “How is it that only you get into these kind of things?”

Red sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t know this was even here.”

“Clearly.” You run your hand through your hair and take a deep breath. You look around him and take in the tree. It looks like it can be climbed easily enough and if you can get up, you can undo the rope at the top, get your boyfriend out and then still have enough time to go doll yourself up for the first family dinner you’ve been invited to.

No pressure.

“You’re so lucky I love you.” You get up and pat Red out of the way to get a good grip on the tree bark in front of you.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you out Sweetheart, what does it look like I’m doing?” You reply and begin the climb.

“Please be careful.” Red gulps a bit and tried to ignore the amount of blood that’s been rushing to his head.

Finding the rope that holding your lover hostage is a bit more challenging than getting into the tree to begin with but you find it well enough.

You don’t have anything sharp to simply cut him free but you do have two hands- determination, spite and a whole lot of gumption at your disposal to try to undo the knot in the tree.

It’s takes an age.

But when you see that you’re making progress you get excited and tell Red to get ready to fall.

He doesn’t respond but you can somewhat see him nod and try to figure out how on earth he was going to land without hurting himself.

You feel like you should be helping him in that regard but you’re not on the ground anymore and someone still has to get the knot out.

It slips and Red falls right into a practiced roll like the professional that he is and you cheer on his behalf. “YAY! Red, you’re free!”

He laughs and goes to stand, wobbling immediately at the rush of blood but manages to stand on his feet.

You drop down from the tree after him and rush to give him a hug. “Hey there handsome!”

“Hello beautiful!” Red hugs you back.

“Come on now! Or we’re going to be late!” You jump and begin to pull back through the forest.

You do not want to give his family a bad impression of you after all.

Vio

“My love, you have to get up now.” Soft lips brush against your cheek with a sweet peck before a hand shakes your shoulder somewhat.

You blink your eyes open with a smile and roll over to the other side, completely ignoring the man in front of you.

“I saw that.” Vio chuckles and continues to shake your shoulder. “You said you’d help out in the shop today. you have to get up if you want to be there on time.”

“Nu-uh.” You hum and try to burrow deeper into the warm blankets.

Vio shakes you a little harder.

“Five more minutes.”

“No.” Vio says your name with the same exasperation as he would when dealing with Red. He hates that you two have this in common.

You’re content to stay in bed and fall back asleep until the blankets are unceremoniously ripped away from you.

The cold air had you curling in on yourself in an instant and you whined as loud as you could without opening your mouth to show your annoyance toward your boyfriend.

“Time to be awake now.”

“I don’t wanna~” You groan and roll around again, looking for a familiar mop of blond hair. “Why must you do this to me? I thought you loved me.”

That actually manages to get Vio to laugh before he crawls into bed next to you and lays down close enough where his nose just barely brushes yours. “I do love you. It’s why I’m making sure my lover can keep their promises and not become a hypocrite. It won’t look good on me if the love of my life begins slacking.”

You hum and close your eyes, reaching out for his hand and taking it into your own. You pull it up and give him a small kiss on his knuckles and sigh. “I suppose it really wouldn’t do you any good if your lover was a scoundrel.”

Vio snorts. “That and Red was excited about you joining in him in the front today so he’s been talking non stop about it.”

You groan louder and roll away from him, going so far as to roll off of the bed and hit the floor with your full weight.

Vio winces by the sounds and pushes himself upright. “You ok?”

“I really hate it when Red get disappointed.” You groan as loud as you can before getting up and stretching your arms over your head. “He always looks like he’s about to cry and then I want to cry with him and it’s a whole mess. I swear sometimes he does it on purpose.”

“Sounds about right.” Vio smiles and begins to put the bed together. “Go get ready. I’ll clean up.”

You yawn and nod. “Good morning by the way.”

“Good morning.” Vio says through his giggles. “Blue is making breakfast.”

“He’s gonna burn the toast again.”

“When does he not?”

“I can hear you!” Blue shouts from the stairs just beyond your bedroom door.

You snort and pop your head out. “Sorry Blue!”

Vio smirks and adjusts the corner until they’re flat and decent again. He’d be lying if he said that these weren’t some of his favorite mornings.

Bonus Shadow!

“I know you’re there~” You grin, not looking behind you as you attempt to finish the dishes for the night.

The flickering candle light made the shadows appear longer than they would usually and they sifted with the wave of the fire as the candle burned into the night.

No one answered your little tease but you knew you were right.

There a thickness in the air when you took a breath. It was your only clue that you weren’t alone. Others might have been frightened or confused by your relaxed nature when something was going on but you knew you just had to wait a minute and the problem would solve itself.

You were being watched but you wanted to coax him out.

“I’m almost done here.” You smile and let the water rinse off the plate you were holding before putting in the rack. “Then we can head upstairs a little while. Not much we can do in the dark.”

“I beg to differ.” The voice replies. “There’s plenty to do in the dark.”

You smirk. “Then beg.”

“Well that’s not very nice.” Arms come to wrap around your waist as a chin hooks onto your shoulder.

You giggle as a strand of hair tickles your cheek and you try to blow it aside with a small gust of air but it doesn’t work.

You sigh and let it happen, taking care to not get the person next to you wet. You take the next plate and rinse it under the water, trying to get the soap off of it and put it away to be dried later.

“Are you done?” The voice whines.

“If I say yes, will that you make you happy Shadow?” You smirk and turn your head to look at him.

Truthfully, he looks exhausted as it is. He has dark circles under his eyes and paler complexion than usual. He takes a minute to respond as he looks at the dishes in the sink and back to you. He takes a breath and nods.

You snort and dry your hands, turning around to hug him back properly and rest your head in the crook of his neck as well.

“Do you want to go to bed?” You ask him. “You look tired.”

“I am tired.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

You both stand there in the middle of your kitchen and sway a little, taking in each other warmth and comfort.

Shadow takes another breath and straightens up from curling around you. “Yes, please.”

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked universe x reader

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bigasswritingmagnet · 3 years

Text

Seek a Little Strange and Unusual

Fandom: Psychonauts Pairing: None Characters: Caligosto Loboto, Chloe Barge Summary: One day at the grocery store, Loboto overhears two parents discussing their...problem child. It's a very familiar sounding conversation. He may not understand why, but he won't let history repeat itself. Chloe isn't particularly fond of her human caretakers. The dentist who smuggled her out of the store is strange...but so is she. And he, at least, understands the importance of space helmets on alien planets.

[don’t make tumblr funnyposts about headcanons guys because you WILL become attached to them]

Cucumbers, lighter fluid, toothpaste, apple sauce, quick rise yeast, mineral oil...

Almost everything! All that was left was condiments. Except...had he written ketchup, or catsup? Did it matter? Of course it mattered, they were totally different things! Weren't they? Well, they had different names.

Lobot stared between the bottle of catsup and the scribbled list, trying to read his own handwriting.

"No, no! Put it down--Chloe put that down right now."

Ooooh, drama! He loved drama. Loboto poked his head around the corner of the aisle in time to see a small child standing on their tiptoes, arms outstretched to the cereal boxes on the upper shelf. A brightly colored box of sugar pretending to be a nutritious breakfast was wrapped in a purple glow and descending, slowly.

A woman materialized next to the girl. Her face was tight with anger and she snatched the box out of the air. Shoving it back on the shelf she hissed "What did I tell you? How many times do I have to say it, Chloe! Don't do that! Especially not in public! And I told you take that stupid helmet off when we're in the store!"

The child's response was unintelligible, muffled by the space helmet they were indeed wearing. He wondered what the big deal was. It wasn't the 1940's; nobody cared if you wore a hat in public anymore. Just look at him! He was wearing his showercap and no one had said a word! They just left the aisle as soon as they saw him.

“Take it off, now!”

A man appeared and grabbed the woman's arm.

"Keep your voice down, people are going to come see what the fuss is."

The woman rounded on him, her expression one of frantic desperation.

"I can't do this anymore."

I just don’t care anymore.

"I can't deal with this, the helmet and the moving things around--!"

He’s a monster!

"I know, I know--"

Soon we’ll be free of this devil child.

"I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this! If I have to deal with one more dismantled radio, one more time trying to get her to take it off for company, one more bent spoon--"

Every! Spoon! Bent!

"I've been asking around, and Johnson knows someone who can do a procedure that’ll fix her--"

They all agree on the diagnosis and what must be done.

He felt strange. Cold and hot and angry and...sad. The child didn't seem to notice the conversation. She was trying to float the cereal box back down again. She probably didn't understand what it all meant. She was young. Very young.

Younger than he had been.

He hadn't understood either, until it was too late.

The humans were arguing again. They were always arguing these days. Arguing about such petty problems, when they could be focusing on the whole galaxy around them. She ignored them. It wasn't like they listened to her anyway. How many times had she explained to the woman why she needed to wear the helmet whenever she left the hermetic seal of her room? It never mattered.

The box of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs landed gently in her hands. Excellent. She would slide it into the cart under the frozen peas. By the time they got to the cash register, the woman would be bound by social convention to make the purchase, or risk making a scene in front of the cashier.

Chloe still hadn't figured out what making a scene meant. The term was definitely in regards to public behavior, but was applied to anything from yelling in public to silent refusal to remove her helmet. Human rules were so strange and arbitrary.

The boxes in front of her rustled. Chloe tilted her head to one side. Odd. Sometimes things around her moved on their own, but usually she got that strange tingle in the back of her head when they did. She wasn't feeling it now.

The boxes of cereal parted, excess tumbling off the ends of the shelves. Two small lights gleamed in the newly made gap. One red, one green.

A metal claw shot out, grabbed Chloe by the shirt, and hauled her through.

She had half been expecting to be pulled into another dimension, but instead she was just in the next aisle. There was no time to feel disappointed before she was dumped unceremoniously in a grocery cart. Someone loomed over her, but Chloe only got the impression of blue skin and flowers before the stranger scooped up half a shelf's worth of bags of macaroni and dumped them on top of her.

It didn't hurt. She could breathe fine with her helmet protecting her face--see, she wanted to say, I told you I needed it--but she couldn't move very much. The cart rattled and bumped, one wheel squeaking obnoxiously. They paused briefly, and Chloe considered shouting for help, but didn't. She wanted to see where this was going.

So she stayed quiet and still, holding the box of cereal to her chest as a cheerful voice cried "No need to do your beeping scans! I know what I bought! Keep the change!"

Then they were off again. The sounds around her changed as they left the store and rattle bumped their way through the parking lot. She heard a trunk open up, and decided now was a good time to figure out what was going on. She had no interest in riding with the groceries.

Chloe made the purple glow around her hands and pushed until the groceries around her lifted enough for her to move. She popped out from beneath the macaroni like a beach ball being released underwater.

The stranger was. Strange. Very tall. The lights Chloe had seen were his eyes--or rather, small tubes where his eyes should be. They twitched and turned independently of each other. He was smiling at her, and his smile seemed to stretch much, much further than most human smiles.

He was wearing a labcoat and a shower cap.

"Hello!" he said. "I'm going to kidnap you and raise you as my own so your parents can't stick an icepick in your brain to take away your psychic powers!" He tapped his chin, brow furrowing. One of his arms was made of metal, and ended in three claws. "Although I already did that first part, so...I have kidnapped you and am going to raise you as my own so that your parents can't stick an icepick in your brain to take away your psychic powers!"

Chloe considered this with some alarm. She didn't know what an icepick was, but she was sure she didn't want anything stuck in her brain. Psychic powers? Ah. That would explain the purple glow. Her caretakers had been very frustrated by it. But could she believe that they would stick things in her brain just so they could be less frustrated?

Yes. She could believe.

Her chest hurt. The macaroni was heavier than she first thought.

"Will you let me wear my helmet?" she asked.

"Of course!" He patted his showercap. "Headwear is a very important personal choice!

Chloe thought some more.

"This is acceptable," she said, and lifted her arms. The stranger stared at her. Neither of them moved for several seconds.

"What are you doing."

"You need to lift me up."

The stranger stuck his hands under her armpits and did so, holding his arms fully extended out in front of him. She dangled in the air, up, up, so high up, higher than she'd ever managed on a swing, and without the heavy weight of rope and swing seat to remind her she was pinned to this mudball planet. She felt weightless, floating, a dizzyingly wonderful feeling.

They stayed like that for several moments.

"Is this what parenting is?" the stranger asked. "It's a lot easier than they made it sound."

Chloe was so high up, her vision extended over the sea of cars, and she spotted her caretakers--former caretakers--rushing out of the grocery store, looking around wildly.

"Put me down," she said. She would have liked to stay up there for longer. For hours. Maybe she could get him to do it again later. The man used to do it all the time, before the arguing started. The stranger set her feet on the pavement, and began to toss the cart's contents into the trunk without any care for fragility. He did not seem particularly rushed or concerned, for all that he said he was kidnapping her. And wasn't kidnapping illegal?

The car was nothing like the sleek blue sedan her parents drove. The man washed it obsessively, and acted as if you had removed an organ if you so much as borrowed a single sparkplug, even if the project was important.

Not only did this car look as if it hadn't been washed, ever, it also looked like it might dissolve if you tried. It was mostly rust held together by duct tape. The car was decorated in strange patterns picked out by objects hot glued to the sides: rubber ducks, dice, plastic flowers, and many, many teeth. From the looks of it, mostly Odocoileus virginianus and Procyon lotor, although she had to wonder about some of the molars.

"Chloe!" someone shouted. "Chloe, where are you!"

Chloe opened the door of the car and climbed inside. There was a moldy grey blanket on the car seat. She unfolded it and draped it over herself. It smelled like seaweed and toothpaste. She tried to look as much like a non-child lump as she could.

The trunk closed. Through the thin blanket she saw the shadow of the stranger--her new caretaker--lean over her. He wound all three seatbelts across her, pinning her to the seat.

"Safety first!" he said.

The car's engine whined and groaned and the calls got closer. They wouldn't be able to see her under the blanket. She was hidden. It was safe.

All the same, she felt a rush of relief when the engine finally growled to life. The car shot backwards and then came to an abrupt halt with a crash and the tinkle of glass. The seatbelts held her so fast Chloe didn't even move.

"Whoopsie!" the man said. The car lurched forwards and came to another abrupt halt with another crash. "Sorry!" Forward. Smash. "Oopsie daisy!" Back. Crash. "Almost got it!"

This time when the car sped forward, it did not stop, although Chloe did hear a scream and a bump as they turned a sharp corner.

"There we go!"

Chloe waited a few more minutes before working her arms free and pulling the blanket down from over her helmet. The car was zipping down the road, swerving violently between the other cars. In the space of three minutes they shot through two red lights. Her new caretaker was humming an offkey ditty to himself, as if he was taking a casual stroll through the park.

"Who are you?" Chloe asked.

"I am Dr Calligosto Loboto! The greatest dentist in the world!" He threw out an arm dramatically and his claws punctured the roof of the car. She could see many similar holes clustered in the same area.

"My name is Chloe. I hail from the planet Cygnus A."

"Ooooh, you're an alien! That explains the helmet! You better keep that thing on, I don't want you suffocating in our atmosphere!"

Chloe couldn't name the feeling in her chest, except that it was a good one.

"That's what I kept telling them! Just because I can breathe your air doesn't mean it doesn't have a detrimental effect on my lungs!"

"Of course!" the doctor said, genuinely annoyed. "That's Alien 101! Boy, your parents are weird."

"They aren't my parents," Chloe said, firmly. "They're my human caretakers. They were looking after me while I'm on the planet. Someday my real parents will return for me, and take me back to the home planet."

"Makes sense to me! I wonder if that makes this less of a felony."

#caligosto loboto #psychonauts #chloe barge #i have...no excuse #i can't decide if i want to make like a whole thing out of it so here you go for now #pre-canon fic

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bi-bi-buckleydiaz · 3 years

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deep breath, do your job | owen joyner

requested; yes! - Could you do a Owen x reader where the reader is Owens personal assistant while filming JATP and while they are filming the reader starts catching feelings for Owen but Owen is in a relationship. Owen and his girlfriend breakup and the reader comes over to comfort Owen and Owen confesses that the reason him and his girlfriend broke up was because of the reader.

word count; 6.4K ... yeah kinda got away from me there. longest fic i’ve ever written

warnings; language, implied sexual content but no actual sex or description thereof

a/n; lol, so i just wrote from 1AM - 4AM because i’m procrastinating my child dev. project thats due today that’s worth a quarter of my grade. i really didn’t mean for this to be so long so it’s probably not this good and the ending is a lil’ rough, but oh well. hope whoever requested this likes it. i kinda do even though it’s long and only slightly proofread.

“Owen Patrick Joyner! Get your ass into hair and makeup before - oh, um, okay oops. Sorry ‘bout that. Should have knocked. I’ll just - yep, i’ll just go.”

You thought he’d be sleeping. It’s nap time for him anyway, so he should’ve been sleeping. Instead, your technically boss and definite crush, was on his trailer couch with a girl you’ve never seen before. Kissing her. Without a shirt. Yeah, you definitely need to get out of there.

You’re quick to close his door and begin to walk back to the hair and makeup trailer to tell them Owen will be a minute.

“Y/N! Hey! Wait up! It’s um, it’s not, well it is, but -” He grabs your arm, causing you to turn around and face him, which, big mistake. Abort. Abort. Turn around. His post make out face is something you did not want to see. Liar.

“It’s fine Owen. What you do in your free time is not my, well, actually it is since i’m your PA, I just mean who - WHAT, what you do in your personal time, in your trailer, is not my concern. Just, you’re needed in hair and makeup like, an hour ago. So, yeah, just, get there.” You stumble over half your words and watch his face fall as you near the end of your spiel. When he lets go of your arm you’re quick to turn around and leave him alone, walking right past hair and makeup and to set where you can curl up in your chair and eat your weight in brownies, if Madi hasn’t taken them all that is. You hope he goes to get his hair done. You know you should walk with him there because if you’re not practically dragging him to where he needs to go he never gets there on time, as just witnessed. But it’s usually because he’s goofing off with Charlie, not sucking face with a random girl.

You don’t notice the brownie in your hand has crumbled until a whistle comes from behind you. You turn around a little too quickly, sending the brownie bits flying to the floor.

“Shit.” You kneel down to begin picking it up, another hand coming into help. Charlie, based on the rings adorning the fingers.

“Is Owen’s keeper okay?” You huff a laugh at the name the cast gave you a week into filming. You’re the only one who has managed to keep Owen in line since filming started, the only reason he’s ever on time for anything or actually has real food in the apartment or has his drumsticks when needed, etc. etc.

The boys didn’t want PA’s when Kenny proposed it during bootcamp, they were young adults, they didn't want to boss someone around, it felt wrong. But having more experience than the boys, Kenny vetoed how they felt and told them PA’s would help tremendously, especially on a project like this. That’s where you came in. You were trying to get into the directing and producing scene in Hollywood, you’re dream to be as good a director as Steven Spielberg or, well, Kenny Ortega. But you knew you had to start small, so you applied for a PA job on an upcoming Netflix show, getting hired within the week. Now here you are, a nineteen year old being in charge of another nineteen year old who acts more like he’s five.

In the beginning, it was purely professional. You were nothing more than his PA who got him from place A to place B in a timely fashion. But then he started to rope you into pranks with the rest of the band. He started inviting you to movie nights, and adventures to the grocery store, and ice skating with Charlie and Madi, and somewhere between helping him keep his life in order and watching him fall on his ass at the ice rink, you fell for the blonde. You know it’s a mistake, falling for him. You work for him. He’s your friend. That’s all he sees you as, but you couldn’t help it. But you’re good at compartmentalizing, so you took all the inappropriate feelings, shoved them in a box, locked the box, and hid it deep in your unconscious. You were doing well with ignoring the box, until you walked in on Owen kissing someone that wasn’t you.

“I’m fine Charlie, just, stressed. Owen was an hour late to hair and makeup so I kinda feel like a shit PA right now.” Charlie chuckles and hugs you as you both stand up.

“Please Y/N, you’re the best PA. If it weren’t for you, Owen would never know where anything is, including his head.” You laugh into his shoulder, reveling in the hug for a few more seconds. When you part, you see a flash of blonde enter the set and sigh in relief. He made it. He’s ready. You’re not fired today.

Just incredibly confused and upset.

But not fired.

“You better go, I know you’re in this scene with Owen.” Charlie nods and squeezes your shoulder once before running after Owen onto the set that holds Julie’s shed. Taking a deep breath, you try to push whatever the hell you saw ten minutes ago into your box, and get ready for the day ahead.

Four hours, six brownies, and two cookies later, Owen is officially wrapped for the day, meaning you can go home and continue to eat your feelings in ice cream. You’re quick to grab your binder full of Owen’s schedules to drop tomorrow’s off at his trailer before he sees you. You’re not really in the mood to talk to him about what happened earlier, so you fast walk to his trailer, fully intent on just leaving the paper on his counter where he’ll see it, but a brown haired, green eyed girl throws that plan right out the window.

You’re so stupid. You should’ve known she would still be here. Waiting.

“Oh, um, hi.” She says. She sounds nice. She looks nice. But when you look at her all you can see is her hands in Owen’s hair and his lips on hers.

“Hi.” You don’t know how, but you managed to put on a smile and put a little pep into your voice. “I’m Ashley. I’m waiting for Owen. Is he done?” You nod, not trusting your voice as you stand awkwardly in the doorway, one foot on the step the other in the trailer, hand outstretched ready to place the schedule on the table.

“He just wrapped for the day. Should be here in a few.” The girl - Ashley - nods.

“You’re Y/N, right? His personal assistant?” How does she know that. She giggles, “He talks about you all the time. Says the only reason he’s not fired or dead in a ditch is because of you.” OH, you said that aloud. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoo-

“Y/N! What are ya doing just standing in the doorway?” Fuck. You put a smile on and turn around. He’s smiling softly at you, still in Alex’s clothes, twirling those damn drumsticks around his fingers.

“Um, just dropping tomorrow’s schedule off. Here. Okay...bye.” You walk down the steps, letting the door shut behind you, fully intent on leaving, but Owen grabs your arm again, just like earlier, causing you to stop and turn to look at him.

“Wait. Can we talk real quick. About...earlier?” No. No absolutely not.

“Um, I really have to go. I have a lot to do tonight for tomorrow.” Owen sighs and lets go of your arm, face contorting into that of a sad puppy.

“Just, one minute Y/N. Please. Let me explain.” Screw him and his perfect freaking face.

“A minute.” His face lights up and grabs your hand, leading you back into his trailer, smiling even wider at seeing Ashley sitting pretty on the couch.

“Y/N, this is Ashley, my girlfriend.” Ashley smiles and waves, standing up to stand by Owen and grab his hand. A rock settles in your chest at the word.

Girlfriend.

“Nice. I’m Y/N. But you knew that. Just like you also know I’m in charge of getting him to places on time. Which didn't happen today.” Owen’s face flushes at that while Ashley terribly hides a smirk behind her hand.

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that Y/N. She surprised me today. We weren’t supposed to see each other until Thanksgiving but she finished classes early and flew out to surprise me. Kinda got, caught up in -” His face is beat red so you’re quick to cut him off.

“It’s fine. Just, try not to get ‘caught up’ tomorrow, yeah?” It’s harsh and full of hostility, but you want to leave, the word still bouncing around in your head, swirling around the scene you walked into earlier.

Girlfriend.

Kissing.

Girlfriend.

Flushed face.

Girlfriend.

Kissing.

“I have to go. See you tomorrow on set at 5 Am. Got it? Five A M. Don’t make me break into your apartment again. I almost got arrested for that.” Owen is still reeling from your harsh words said a second ago to laugh at the memory. Ashley however, has no qualms about speaking up.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s here on time.” She smiles and wraps around his arm like a koala. You hold back a scoff, throwing up a fake smile before turning and leaving.

Girlfriend.

It’s almost midnight.

It’s 11:48 PM and someone is knocking on your door.

Who the fuck is pounding on your door at near midnight.

You shuffle to the door wrapped up in your comforter, wiping the sleep out of your eyes. You don’t bother looking through the peephole, too angry at the person behind the door to bother, just wanting to yell at them and get back to bed.

“What the - Charlie?” He looks exhausted, hair ruffled and eyes puffy. He’s in joggers, a random band tee and his denim jacket. You’re pretty sure his shoes are on the wrong feet.

“Can I stay the night?” He doesn’t wait for your response before walking into your apartment, flinging his shoes and jacket off and walking to your room. You sigh, ignoring the way he just threw his stuff around and instead follow him to your room before he takes your side of the bed. You walk in just as he chucks his shirt off and woah. You were so not expecting that. An explanation as to why he’s here at midnight? Yeah. Him taking your side of the bed? Definitely. But not Charlie taking his shirt off and crawling onto the right side of the bed and curling around a pillow. You take a moment to collect yourself and your thoughts before crawling into bed next to him, making sure to drape the comforter over him as well. He hums in content and turns around to face you.

“Sorry for barging in like this. Just, ugh, Owen and that girl are not quiet if you catch my drift.” And it’s like the rock in your heart is now a boulder and it’s crushing your ribcage. You can’t breathe. You can’t think. You’re frozen, staring at Charlie’s half asleep face. “Like I get it, you’ve missed each other. But c’mon bro I’m there too.” He keeps talking. Keeps pushing the boulder until all the ribs crack and puncture your lungs. “There’s somethings in this world I never wanted to hear, and Owen moaning was one of them.” He won’t shut up. Charlie shut up. You’re entire chest is fracturing, breaking at his words and he needs to shut. up.

“I didn’t really know where else to go, but I remembered how comfy your bed was last movie night so, here I am.” His voice is raspy, words slurring as he’s trying to fight sleep to explain to you why he’s here. But you can’t focus on him right now. Can’t think about a shirtless Charlie in your bed. There’s only one thing you can think about right now.

Girlfriend.

Shirtless.

Girlfriend.

Kissing.

Girlfriend.

“Thanks for letting me crash by the way. I’ll try not to kick you in my sleep.” He chuckles, then finally opens his eyes when you don’t laugh back. You don’t know how you look right now. You know you’re frozen. But is the panic and pure sadness showing on your face? It must be, because suddenly Charlie is wide awake and leaning up on his elbow to look at you fully. “Y/N are you okay?” He’s worried. You want to tell him you’re okay. It’s fine. Everything is fine. But you can’t move. You can’t talk. Because reality is crushing you. It’s ripping up your heart, suffocating you, consuming your mind.

Owen isn’t yours.

Owen will never be yours.

You’re just a friend.

You’re just his PA.

That’s when the tears finally start. They come slowly, one trailing down your cheek, then another. Then all at once your sobbing into Charlie’s chest, no doubt getting snot all over him. But he doesn’t seem to care. He just starts to hum some random song while he repeatedly runs his hand over your hair, the other holding you close to him. He keeps humming, his chest vibrating and giving you something to focus on that isn’t your depressing thoughts. It’s almost soothing, the petting and the hug and the humming.

You don’t know how long you sob into him, but when you stop, his humming stops too. He still holds you close, just lets go of your head so you can lean back a little and look up at him. He’s brows furrow in concern and he pouts at your post-crying face.

“Are you okay? Am I really that bad of company?” He tries for funny but you can’t bring yourself to laugh with him. Just pout and push his semi-wet chest. “Seriously Y/N, i’ve never seen you like this. What’s wrong?” Those two words.

What’s wrong?

What’s wrong? I fell for my boss and now he’s doing it with some girl and I can’t stop thinking about them and it’s killing me because before I could live with being his friend and PA because at least there was some sliver of a chance but now there’s nothing because he has someone and I have no one and I can’t breathe because oh my god I love him. I love that stupid fool and i’m nothing but his personal assistant.

It’s quiet for a minute, too quiet, and that’s when you realize you said all that out loud. You look up at Charlie, which was a mistake because his face is full of pity. It’s all sad puppy eyes and “Shit Y/N i’m so sorry.” A fresh wave of tears make their way out of your eyes, but Charlie is quick to wipe them away.

“Y/N I didn’t know I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have said all of that, God I was so stupid.” And then it’s like a whole new flood gate opens, this one full of laughter though. You start with a chuckle, but soon it’s full out belly laughing. Because Charlie isn’t the stupid one here. “I’m the stupid one. I mean, how idiotic does a PA have to be to fall for the one they’re in charge of? Never mix work with pleasure. It’s PA-ing 101, don’t fall for your boss. I’m so fucking stupid to ever fall for him or think he’d like me back because i’m just his stupid PA who has no talent what so ever, never has a good hair day, can’t go a day without eating their weight in sugar, and will never see him again after filming is wrapped.” Your laughing dies down by the end, and then ends completely when you see the look on Charlie’s face. It’s not exactly pity, but it’s not exactly sadness either. It’s hard to describe what exactly it is, but it’s not good.

“Y/N. Babes. I don’t ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that again, okay? I swear to God next time I hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, I’m hitting you with a pillow.” You giggle, but he stays serious. “Dead ass Y/N. Listen, was it probably not the smartest to fall for Owen? Yeah. But you didn’t know he had someone. I didn’t even know he had a girl and I’m his roommate. But, we can’t help who we like. It’s all brain chemistry and heart palpitations and whatever else. It’s something we can’t control. So don’t say you’re stupid because of something you can’t control.”

“You’re being really smart and caring for twelve am.” You both chuckle, a real smile gracing your face for once in the past twelve hours.

“I’m sorry for the breakdown it’s just, there’s a lot in my head right now and what you said really didn’t help.” Charlie sighs and pulls you in close.

“I’m sorry babes. You should’ve slapped me or something.”

“I probably would’ve had the breakdown at some point tonight anyway.” Charlie pulls back a bit to look at you, confusion on his face. “I kinda walked in on them making out earlier when Owen was late to hair and makeup.”

“Is that why you crushed that brownie earlier?” You sigh and nod.

“Y/N, i’m sorry. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.”

“It’s fine Charlie. It’s, well, it’s not but, I’ll get over it. I’m a big girl. Besides, I have you to get my tears and snot all over right?” He groans while you giggle, but he isn’t really mad if the way he pulls you close and rests his face in your hair is any indication.

“Always babes.”

The next day you drive to set with Charlie who didn’t have to be on set at five like Owen, but joined you nonetheless. Taking his duty as your new ‘heartguard’ as he called it last night, you walk to hair and makeup with his arm around your shoulders. It’s comforting, even though he’s putting most of his weight on you because he’s exhausted, the coffee you gave him this morning clearly doing nothing to wake up.

“Charlie, you could’ve stayed in bed until you were actually needed.” You laugh as he trips up the steps to the trailer, nearly face planting if it weren’t for you wrapping your arms around his waist last minute.

“Char you good?” You hear BooBoo ask. Charlie grumbles something incoherent and shoves his face into your neck as you lean against the arm of the couch. BooBoo laughs, so do you, but quickly sober up when Owen walks in, Ashley on his arm. Charlie must have ESP or something because, without looking up at who walked in, he wraps his arms around your waist and murmurs in your ear, “Deep breaths. I’m here.” You do as he says, shooting Owen a friendly smile, but dropping it as he frowns at you.

What is that about?

“Glad to see you on time Owen. I wouldn’t have been able to break in this morning anyway because an octopus decided to break into my own apartment last night.” You ruffle Charlie’s hair as you say that and he grumbles some more, playfully biting your neck as well. “Ow. Asshole.” Owen frowns even deeper at that, while BooBoo chuckles. He get’s scolded a second later for moving.

“So that’s where you disappeared to last night. I was wondering why you weren’t home this morning.” Owen’s voice is tight while he says it, Ashley noticing as well if the tightened grip on his arm is anything to go by. Charlie squeezes your waist as a way to say, ‘prepare yourself’ before he moves his head to lean against your shoulder so he can talk.

“Yeah well, I wouldn’t have had to if you and your girl weren’t so freaking loud.” You tense up, mind starting to reel again, but a squeeze to your waist and a warm breath on your neck manages to bring you back. The trailer goes quiet, even the hair and makeup ladies tensing up and sensing the tension. Charlie, ever the wrong place, wrong time type of guy, grabs your hand and places it on his hair, then moves it back and forth.

“Pet me.” Despite the tension in the room, you can’t help but giggle at the stupid Canadian boy wrapped around you. Apparently that’s all the rest of the people in the trailer needed to go back to what they were doing. That or they just didn’t want to get involved in young adult drama. You shoot a look at Owen, his jaw tense and hands clenched into fists. Completely ignoring the way Ashley leans up to kiss Owen’s neck, you open your phone and begin to read off his schedule for the day, your left hand still running through Charlie’s hair.

“Hair and makeup at five AM, sit your butt down and let Shelly do her thing, costume fitting right after. First scene at six-thirty with BooBoo, you guys are doing the scene at the Orpheum where you talk about what’s been going on, you’re going to be sad so this whole frowny face you got going on? Keep it. A break after that then rehearsal with Charlie, Jer, and Mads for Stand Tall. Fitting for the Stand Tall suit is after that, but no actual filming for that scene yet, just getting the measures right so after that, you’re done for the day.” You take a deep breath after all that, BooBoo whistling at you from his seat.

“You could be an auctioneer with how fast you talk.” You smile and bow your head at him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment Boo.” He shoots you a smile and then raises his hand to high five Owen as he sits next to him. Owen ignores him. In fact, he stays silent throughout all of getting his hair and makeup done. Only smiling occasionally when Ashley shows him a meme on her phone. You watch them, the boulder in your chest rolling around as you do so. But not for jealousy, no, for concern. Owen is acting very unlike himself. You may be upset right now, especially with him, but it doesn’t mean you still don’t see him as a friend; still don’t worry about him. Something is wrong, and you can’t help but feel like it’s your fault.

“So did it work?” You jump in surprise at the voice behind you, the cookie in your hand crumbling and falling onto the table.

“Charlie! What did I say about sneaking up on me?” You turn to look at the boy who is smiling too wide at you for you to think this is about to be a completely innocent conversation.

“Did it work?” He’s practically vibrating where he stands.

“Did what work?”

“The cuddling this morning? Didn’t you see Owen? He was totally jealous.” And - what? That’s why he was so touchy this morning?

“I just thought you were tired, that was - you were trying to make Owen jealous? Charlie what the hell? He has a girlfriend!” Charlie rolls his eyes and loops his arm around yours, dragging you away from the cookies and towards the costume room.

“Yeah, but we both know she shouldn’t be. And the way he was acting this morning? I think he’s starting to realize that too.” There’s no way...right? No, the way Charlie described last night...no.

“No, okay, he was probably just tired and angry about having to be here so early.” Yeah, that’s it. He was not jealous of the friendly cuddling you and Charlie were doing. Totally...not. Holy shit. You hear Charlie giggling in your ear as you enter costume.

There, in front of you, is a very shirtless, very toned, very pretty Owen Joyner.

“You’re welcome.” Then Charlie is off to God knows where. Leaving you alone with Owen. Well, not really alone since Soyon is here too, running around looking for different fabrics and textures to throw on Owen. A still very shirtless Owen.

“Oh, hi Y/N. What are you doing here?” Owen asks, looking at you though the floor length mirror in front of him. He’s not smiling at you, but he’s not frowning either, so improvement from this morning.

“Oh, um, just making sure you got here on time. And look at that. You did! Good job.” You clap, who knows why, but it makes Owen laugh, which, whew, okay.

“Yeah, I reminded him.” A voice behind you says. You turn and look at Ashley walking in, coffee cup in hand. She bounces up to Owen, ignoring Soyon and placing a big, wet kiss onto his lips before moving to the couch off to the side. Owen seems shocked by the PDA, which makes sense, you know he’s not big on that, remembering one late night conversation you both had a few weeks ago.

“Anyway, Y/N, how does this one looks. I think the ruffles are nice. And then when he’s performing Stand Tall we can,” and then she begins to unbutton the shirt all the way down to mid chest and okay, seriously Soyon, now you just want to torture me.

“I like this.” Owen says, twirling in the mirror like a ballerina. This causes the shirt to fling open more, showing his chest more in the process.

Deep breaths.

Be a friend.

You’re a big girl.

“Yeah. It’s good,” you say, walking over to him to tuck to the sides back together somewhat. “Are you going to keep with the pink theme for the jacket?” Soyon smiles and nods, walking away for a minute leaving you alone with Owen and Ashley.

“Should it really be unbuttoned that much? I mean, it is a kids show? I don’t want to share my boy with fangirls.” Ashley says. You can’t stop your eyes from rolling or the scoff that leaves your mouth. You watch Owen’s Adam's apple bob as he gulps.

“Please, Charlie is sleeveless for a majority of the show. Owen showing a little chest isn’t gonna hurt anyone. Besides, Soyon chose good. The way the shirt fits and settles it’s never going to open all the way. Unless, ya know, he twirls like some Carolynn Rowland wannabe.” You smile up at Owen and inhale sharply when you see he’s already looking down at you. “And with the jacket on it’ll stay put pretty well.” You’re still holding the shirt in your hands, looking at Owen’s face as you talk. For a second, it’s just you and him, looking at each other, smiling. Then Soyon comes back and clears her throat. The trance breaks and you back up. You wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before backing up and standing next to the mirror. You feel eyes on you and look over to see Ashely glaring at you.

“Here we go. One pink jacket to match.” Owen slides it on and smiles wide. You have to say, it looks good. Professionally speaking of course.

“Soyon, have I ever said how freaking amazing you are. I mean, this is really good looking. Very Alex.” Owen praises. He’s smiling and it’s a nice sight after this mornings debacle.

“Alex is going to be the best looking one on that stage.” Owen looks over at you, his smile still there, and the boulder shrinks three sizes.

“Still think the shirt should be buttoned.” Ashley mutters. But everyone ignores her, even Owen, who does another twirl in front of the mirror.

“Well then, you’re all set Owen. Go ahead and change and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Soyon leaves, going off to do costume designer things, leaving you alone with Owen and Ashley again. Owen takes the jacket off, then looks around not knowing what to do with it. You sigh and smile softly, taking it from him.

“Here, just give me all the clothes and i’ll take them back to your rack.” He smiles thankfully at you, before frowning again and looking down at his outfit. Getting what he’s thinking, you chuckle and cross your arms. “Bub I just saw you shirtless it’s not a big deal. Now c’mon, give me the clothes before Soyon thinks you’re stealing them.” Owen looks up at you in a way you’ve never seen him look at you before. It makes you take a sharp breath in.

“Maybe you should go. I can give the clothes to Soyon. Don’t you have assistant duties to do?” Ashley is right next to you as she says it. It makes your ears hurt and hands clench. You’re quick to unclench though, not wanting to wrinkle the nice pink jacket. Ashley moves forward to unbutton Owen’s shirt all the way, but he grabs her hand before she can begin.

“Actually I need Y/N to stay. I have to talk to her about some, ya know, assistant stuff. And besides, she knows where Alex’s rack is and that’s where the clothes have to go. Why don’t you go wait for me in the trailer, I’ll be there in a few.”

I need Y/N to stay.

That shouldn’t make you feel as warm and tingly as it does.

Ashley scoffs and looks away, clearly trying to guilt trip him. Owen sighs and kisses her cheek.

“Trailer. Ten minutes.” Ashley sighs before nodding and finally leaving. He watches her go, then turns back to you when she finally disappears. You clear your throat and he looks back at you, face a bit red.

“Um, hey.” You chuckle.

“Hi.” He nods, and you sigh, walking so you’re right in front of him. “Seriously, O, you need to get this off because if they’re not on the rack for Soyon to fix up by the end of the day it’s my head on a stick, not yours.” Then you’re unbuttoning his shirt.

You’re unbuttoning. His shirt. You don’t realize you’re doing it until you hand grazes his navel when you untuck it from his pants. You hear him suck in a breath and you immediately take two steps back.

“Sorry, um. Sorry that was not, um, -”

“It’s okay. You were just, doing your job. Making sure I get stuff done on time, right?” But his voice is wobbly as he says it and his face is as red as a tomato. You couldn’t have made him that flushed, not you?

“Right. Yeah. Um, so, pants?” Owen looks at you with wide eyes. “I need to take the pants back too.” It’s quiet, but you know he heard you because he nods his head and begins to unbutton them. You suddenly feel very hot, very suffocated. You should’ve left when you had the chance, just let Ashley do this. You shouldn’t be here, watching as he pulls the velvet pants down his legs. Watching as he steps out of them and - oh God he’s falling. You grab his hand to help him but it’s too late, you both tumble to the ground. You’re on top of him, smushed up against his bare chest, faces centimeters apart, sharing breaths.

“Sorry.” You mumble. You watch him gulp and look down. Down at wha - oh.

“It’s, it’s okay. I’m the one that fell and pulled you down.” You nod, causing your nose to brush against his. You’re close, so freaking close that if you were to move not even a full centimeter, your lips would touch.

So.

Close.

“What. The. Hell!” SHit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You’re quick to scramble away from Owen, butt scooting across the floor to get as far away from him as possible. Owen jumps up, kicking the pants away then realizing that was probably not a smart idea because now he’s half naked in between Ashley and you.

“Ash I -”

“You were taking forever, wanted to know why. Thought you said there was nothing between you two?” She’s practically screeching. You know within minutes there will be a crowd. A crowd Owen will not want, his anxiety will not want. Ignoring his stuttering and the conversation in general, you push away the heat in your belly and the tingling in your spine and take a deep breath.

Deep breath.

Be a friend. Do your job.

You grab Owen’s clothes and put them in his hands, ignoring his speaking and Ashley ranting, you grab his hand and then hers, and shove them towards the back exit.

“This is a trailer conversation, not a wardrobe fitting conversation. Leave, now.”

“No, I have a lot to say -”

“Listen to me, I’m trying to do my job and not get Owen in trouble. If you really care about him, you’ll take this conversation to his trailer. Now.” Then you shove them out the door before Ashley could screech some more.

Deep breath.

Do your job.

You go back to the fitting area, only to see Charlie, Jer, and Madi standing there, looking confused.

Deep breath.

Do your job.

“Hey guys. Owen just left. He and Ashley are having a date night.” Charlie gives you a look, but Jer and Madi nod, going to accept it, but Charlie has to open his big dumb Canadian mouth.

“Why’d we hear screaming then?” Charlie questions. Jer and Madi look at each other, then back at you.

“Oh, uh, mouse. I saw a mouse. Yep. Mouse. Anyway, I have to get this clothes hung up before they wrinkle, so excuse me.”

Deep breath.

Do your job.

You walk around the trio, gathering the suit and shaking everything out as you walk over to the Alex rack to hang them up. You hear the door to the room open and two sets of feet walking out.

“Charlie, everything is fine okay? Just a little misunderstanding.”

“Like?” You sigh and turn around from finishing hanging up the clothes.

“Like...Owen kinda fell and when I went to help him I feel too...on top of him.” There’s silence then,

“OH MY GOD! Y/N THAT’S LIKE FANFIC SHIT THAT WAS THE MOMENT! DID YOU KISS OH MY GOD TELL ME EVERYTHING!” He’s jumping up and down as he makes his way to you.

“Ashley walked in.” All excitement stops.

“Oh shit.” You nod, walking past him to settle on the couch, pulling a pillow to your chest.

“Yeah. And she started screeching and I knew Owen wouldn’t like to attention so I shoved them out the back door to his trailer.” Charlie’s arm goes around you, pulling you close. He goes to say something, but your phone ringing indicating a text from Owen stops him. You pull it out, opening it as Charlie watches over your shoulder.

My trailer plz.

Charlie starts shaking your shoulders, smiling like a maniac. “This is your chance Y/N go go GO!” you shake your head at Charlie’s antics, but leave nonetheless.

Anxiety creeps up on you as you get closer and closer to his trailers, not knowing what you’re going to walk into. Him firing you? Saying you can’t be friends anymore? Ashley ready to claw your face off?

Deep breath.

Be a friend.

You knock on his door. It opens a second later to a frantic looking Owen. Now you're anxious about him. Why does he look upset? Is he okay? He grabs your hand and pulls you into his, oh, empty trailer. Ashley is nowhere to be seen.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” You nod, still looking around expecting her to jump out and slap you. “Um, sit. Sit, I have to talk to you about something.” You go to sit on the couch, but then remember what occurred there yesterday and instead lean against the counter. He notices but doesn’t say anything.

“Yeah okay. What’s up?” You try to act nonchalant, but the anxiety is too high for that. ‘I have to talk to you about something’ never ends well. He walks over and sits on the bed pats the spot next to him. God, this can’t be a good conversation if he really wants you to sit.

“Ashley and I were never...on here.” He mumbles. You walk over and sit next to him, blushing that he caught on to why you didn’t sit on the couch.

“Must be serious if you need me to sit.” Owen takes a deep breath, another, another, and then there’s lips on your. They’re soft and nice and taste like carmex chapstick.

“Mhm, Owen, what, what are you doing?” Your faces are still close together, both of you not wanting to back away yet.

“I’m gonna talk. Okay I’m gonna talk and I want you to listen and not crawl inside your head too soon okay?” You nod, knowing in this moment you’d do anything to keep him this close.

“I knew Ashley from high school. She started texting me a few weeks back and one thing led to another and she was calling me her boyfriend. I didn’t want it but it happened and I let it because it got my mind off a girl I shouldn’t like because it would ruin so many things. I didn’t know she was coming to visit and when she knocked on my trailer she jumped me and just kept going. And I just went along with everything yesterday because I’m supposed to be her boyfriend and I’m supposed to think about those things with her and I’m supposed to want those things with her, but I don’t Y/N. I don’t want those things with her I never did. I, I want them with you. I’ve wanted them with you from the moment you finally stopped being shy around me and dragged me from crafts by my ear to hair and makeup. You’re so amazing Y/N and I thought if I did anything I’d ruin this and ruin your career and I didn’t want that. I never wanted that so I went along with Ashley but I shouldn’t have because the whole time I was thinking about you. It’s always been -” You kiss him. You grab him by the cheeks and kiss him. It’s a passionate kiss, an ‘about time’ kiss, an ‘i’m never letting you go’ kiss.

You only break away when you can’t breathe, and even then you only pull away enough to breath in each other’s air.

“She left. She’s gone. She knew I was never 100% in.” You nod, but you’re not really listening. You can’t hear anything other than your heartbeat.

He likes you.

Owen likes you.

Owen kissed you.

“It’s always been you, Y/N.” You smile. It’s a big one that you have to hamper down by biting your lip. Owen smiles back, then you’re kissing again.

And again.

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