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#but i value my own peace and quiet
withlove-angel · 5 months
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How would they confess to you ?
(Luffy, sanji, zoro, Buggy, law)
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Luffy
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I think Luffy would be very straightforward with his confession, he wouldn't want to beat around the bush or cause any confusion. He would be very clear about his feelings for you and how much you mean to him. He might not be the most romantic person in the world but he would try his best to show you how much he cares about you and how important you are to him.
He might start by saying something like, "You know, I've been really enjoying our time together, and I have to say...I'm starting to fall for you!" Then, he might add, "Oh, who am I kidding, I've completely fallen for you! You're the only person who can make me smile like this and I never want that to go away." He might even end his confession with, "So, wanna be my treasure?"
Sanji
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Well, Sanji might not confess right away, but he might start with subtle hints. He might drop little compliments or flirt a lot more. He would also make an extra-special meal to impress you. Eventually, he might get up the courage to tell you how he feels, and he would say something like "You're so beautiful and kind, it's hard not to have a crush on you"
That's true! Sanji does like to flirt, but he's also very respectful of women and their boundaries. He wouldn't push if you said no, but he might be a bit... persistent... if you said maybe, or said you wanted to get to know him better before making a decision. He might ask you more questions about yourself and your interests, or try to impress you with his cooking or fighting skills. But he wouldn't force you into anything, even if he does really like you
"I love your smile, and your laugh. Your eyes sparkle like jewels and your hair is like the sun on a sunny day. You're strong and brave, and you don't let anything stop you. I want to be the person who makes you smile the most in the whole world. My heart is yours; will you please accept it?"
Zoro
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The way I envision it, he'd confess during a time of quiet, peace, and contemplation. He'd be hesitant, nervous, probably even a little awkward in his own way, but he'd do it without hesitation because it's what he's feeling. He'd want it to be genuine and sincere, and maybe it'd even be a spur-of-the-moment decision. If it's a more emotional moment, his swords might even be discarded to the side, as a symbolic gesture
*deep breath*" Oi. You know it's me, right? There's something I wanna get off my chest. It's not easy for me to put it into words. I don't know if I'm making sense... But here goes. I kinda like you- like like you. A lot. I think I've felt this way for a while now, but I haven't been able to say it. I know it's a lot to just say out loud, and it feels a bit... reckless. But I gotta just get it out. I like you."
Buggy
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Buggy likes to present himself as powerful and intimidating. But deep down he's just an insecure guy who worries about what others think of him. In a private setting with someone he trusts, I think Buggy would be a lot more honest and open about his feelings. But he would still do it his own way, maybe in a roundabout way without actually saying the words "I love you".
I think Buggy would be very loyal and protective in a relationship, and he'd make sure that his partner knows that he values their connection deeply.
He would be careful not to say anything overly cheesy or melodramatic. He might try to lighten the mood with a joke, or compliment you in a way that makes you feel special and important to him. He would probably try to impress you with his strength and courage, and show off his abilities as a fighter and leader.
He would probably also be quite thoughtful and sweet, and show that he really cares about your well-being and happiness. But he wouldn't want to be too vulnerable or emotional, so he would likely try to keep things light and playful.
"So.. I.. err.. *cough* you're the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever met. (Turns all red) *cough* I mean... err... you're not too bad I guess. (Tries to smile) Wanna.. err.. be my partner.. I mean... umm... *cough* wanna be my romantic partner? Yeah, that's it. *cough* That was a joke, right? Right?"
Law
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Law is the type to give subtle hints that he likes someone while keeping his feelings under wraps. If you like him too, you'd probably have to make a move first. He's the type to deny his feelings until the moment they're expressed. He has a hard time displaying his emotions, although he's quite a warm person internally.
If you confess he would probably be stunned at first. He wouldn't expect this to happen. However, once he processes what's occurred, he would probably say something along the lines of "Oh... hmm. Is that so?" His expression would definitely display his surprised and potentially pleased state. Though, he'll probably keep his answer brief and ambiguous. But the slightly blush and smirk on his face dont lie...
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literaryavenger · 4 months
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I love you and I hate it - part 2
Summary: After your fight with Bucky you put all your efforts into avoiding him, convinced that your friendship is over. Bucky, however, has other plans.
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings: Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. Fluff.
Word Count: 4.5K
A/N: I promise I didn't mean to make it this long, but I couldn't help myself, again, and I didn't want to end on another 'cliffhanger' so here it is! hope you like it!
Part 1
Masterlist
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Bucky couldn’t believe what he just heard. You like him? No, you used the word ‘love’. You love him. Do you love him? Certainly, he would’ve noticed if you did, right? He is a trained assassin, he was taught how to see beyond people’s words and actions. And he knows you, you can deny it all you want, but he knows you better than anyone. He knows you better than he knows himself. And if he’s being honest, you know him better than anyone ever has, Steve included. You feel safe, you feel calm. You feel like the peace he’s always wanted, the quiet he needs. You feel like home. In a platonic way, of course. Right? His thoughts of you are interrupted by Sharon’s voice. He didn’t even realize he was back at the party.
-where did you go?- she asked and, suddenly, her grip on his arm was just a little too tight for his liking, but it was probably nothing.
-I went to check if Y/N was okay.-
-oh- something in her voice felt wrong, but Bucky tried to ignore it, that is until what she said next. -why would you even care about her? All she does is embarrass you like before. She’s useful to no one, I heard the only reason she’s even on the team is because she slept her way to it.- she laughed like it was the funniest thought in the world, and Bucky couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Not only was she saying hurtful, untrue things about his girl, but she has the audacity to laugh at her own cruelty?
-How dare you?- he does his best not to yell, but his tone still startles Sharon. -Y/N is the best agent in all of Shield, that’s why she got in the team! She’s not an embarrassment, she’s a valued member of this team and she’s my best friend! Of course I care about her, she’s the most important person in my life! Don’t ever talk about her that way again.- She seems shocked at his words but, looking around, realizes people are starting to stare so she tries her best to defuse the situation.
-Alright, I’m sorry, I won’t say things like that again. Let’s just calm down and have a nice rest of the evening, ok?- in his head Bucky knew her request was reasonable, he could let this go and keep having fun with his girlfriend, but in his heart he just knew he couldn’t let this go. The words were coming out of his mouth before he could stop them, not that he wanted to.
-You know what, Sharon? This isn’t working. We have to break up.- he doesn’t even give her a chance to say anything before he’s turning around and making his way to his room.
Meanwhile, on the roof, Steve’s trying to talk you down the ledge. Metaphorically speaking, obviously. 
-He hates me, Steve.- you couldn’t stop the tears.
-Stop saying that, sweetheart, he doesn’t hate you.-
- You saw what happened at the party, the way he looked at me. And he heard me say that I love him and walked away like it was nothing. If he didn’t hate me before, this certainly pushed him off the edge.- 
Steve had nothing to say to that, he knew Bucky didn’t hate you, but he also knew that you’re too stubborn to hear any reason, especially not right now when you are hurting the most. Right now you needed a friend and shoulder to cry on, usually Bucky would take on that role, but, given the circumstances, Steve decided to step up and be that friend. He wrapped his arms around your crying body and held you as you let it all out. Neither of you said anything else, the only sounds in the dark of the night being your sobs, until eventually you calmed down and after a few moments of silence Steve glanced down to see you fell asleep. 
Not wanting to wake you up he carefully picked you up and made his way to the elevator. When he got to the floor you both reside in he found Sam and Natasha chatting at the kitchen counter, probably about to go to bed after coming up from the party. Sam gave him a confused look, while Nat seemed to understand what was going on right away as she moved without saying a word, walking ahead of him towards your room. She opened it for him and walked in behind him and moved the covers back as he laid you on your bed as carefully as he could, and then Nat delicately took your heels off before covering you with the duvet. As they’re leaving your room the door opposite yours opens, revealing a hopeful Bucky but when he sees it’s not you, his face goes back to neutral. He’s about to ask where you are when Natasha beats him to the punch.
-Leave her alone, Barnes. You’ve already hurt her enough.- Is all she says before she steps into her bedroom. Bucky looks to his best friend for help but, at his confused face, the blonde super soldier just shakes his head in disappointment and walks away without a word. Bucky stands there for a few minutes, just staring at your door like he's gonna will you to open it and talk to him. He sighs and goes back to his room where he spends the next few hours overthinking about you, eventually falling into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning when you wake up you feel peace for about 10 seconds before the events of last night hit you like a truck, and all you can feel is humiliation. How can you face the team after they witnessed your fight with Bucky? How can you face Steve after he saw you at your most vulnerable and, apparently, carried you to bed after you cried yourself to sleep? How can you face Bucky after he heard you say you love him and he walked away from you? You can’t, that’s the answer. Should you just move out? Just quit the team, ask Hill to be reassigned? Maybe you could even get transferred to another country. You’re not overreacting, right? This is a very embarrassing situation and you have every right to want to run away from all of it. As you’re making up an escape plan in your mind you hear a knock on your door, followed by Steve’s voice.
-hey, are you awake? We just wanted to make sure you were okay…- you try to be as silent as you can, slowing down your breathing praying he’ll think you’re sleeping. You hear him exchange some muffled words with what sounds like Natasha, and then you hear their footsteps as they walk away. You let out a relieved sigh.
Okay, step one is definitely getting out of this room, it’s just the most obvious place where to look for you. You get up and out of your awfully classy dress, take a shower being sure to clean away all the makeup from last night and put on the most comfortable sweats you own. Just as you’re opening the door you can see Bucky opening his about to get out and, in a panic move, you run back inside your room and slam the door shut. Very subtle, yes. You rest your back against the door and can hear him sigh and then walk away. You wait a few minutes, just to be sure, and then relax a little. Your plan was to go to the gym and work out a bit, but now all you can think about is getting the hell out of this compound. You grab your purse, make sure to have your phone and keys in it and open the door, making sure no one’s around before getting out. You’re practically running, taking the stairs for good measure, and in a flash you’re at the garage. You jump in your car and drive away as fast as you can without breaking the law, not even knowing where to go. Once you’re in the city you stop at a cafe for breakfast near your favorite book store, the one you and Bucky have visited together a hundred times. Okay, stop that, no more thinking about Bucky. You spend the rest of the day just going from one store to the other, stopping to have lunch at the diner you always go to when you’re in the city, and trying not to kick yourself for not being able to stop thinking about Bucky. Seriously, why can’t you stop thinking about him? It doesn’t help the fact that every one of your favorite places has at least a hundred and twelve memories of Bucky. God, have you ever gone anywhere on your own in the last two years? The more memories come to mind the more you think that maybe transferring wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Go somewhere new, get a fresh start.
When it starts getting dark you decide to drive back to the compound, but when you park and turn the car off you can’t find it in yourself to get out. You take out your phone, which you’ve been ignoring all day, and go through all the messages of your worried friends, hating yourself a little more when you catch yourself looking for his name in your notifications. Just as you’re about to answer Tony’s texts first, you get a call from Steve. You stare at your phone, unsure if you can stomach answering him right now, but your decision is rendered moot when someone taps against your window. Your head snaps towards it and you let out a breath of relief when you see Steve standing there, holding his phone and using it to tap on your window again. You close your eyes for a second but resign to your fate as you gather your things and get out of the car. When you lock your car you turn to see that Steve moved to be leaning on the trunk of your car, so you join him and wait for him to say something, not knowing what to say yourself.
-So,- he starts, with his arm folded in front of his chest and looking at his shoes -you’re avoiding all of us now?- you let out a sigh, feeling bad for hurting his feelings.
-I’m sorry, Steve. I just…- you can’t even look at him as you talk, so you just look ahead of you at all the cars -I’m just embarrassed. After everything that happened last night, I don’t know… God, you even carried me to bed like a child.- you covered your face with your hands.
You finally looked at him when you heard him chuckling. -that’s what friends do, Y/N. They lean on each other.- he bumps your shoulder with his -I know we’re not as close as you and Bucky, but I am your friend too. I’m not gonna judge you for last night, I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s what we all want. You made us worry that you might run away on us.- He says the last part as a joke, but you can’t help looking away from him. That’s exactly what you wanted to do. You bite your lip as he keeps looking at you and you feel like he can see the gears turning in your head, like your thoughts are so loud and your guilt so visible that he knows right away he was right on the money.
-Y/N…- it’s almost a warning, but you still can’t find the courage to look at him. -You were seriously thinking of running away?!- he seemed almost shocked.
-okay, it’s not like I’m a teenager running away in the middle of the night after a fight with her parents!- you finally look at him -I was just considering… I don’t know, maybe asking for a transfer?-
-so you actually want to leave the team just because you had a fight with Bucky?-
-It’s not just the fight, Steve, he knows I love him and he doesn’t even care! Do you realize how much that hurts? And now I’m supposed to, what? Just go back to how things used to be? Pretend like nothing happened? Even if we’re not friends anymore, he lives across the hall from me! I’m bound to see him and it’s gonna hurt every fucking time!- You’re almost crying, again, but you hold back not wanting to go through that again.
-I know it hurts, trust me, sweetheart, but… what about us?- you look at him as he goes on -we’re your team too. We’re your friends, we’re your family. You can’t just leave us. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but we can help you make it better. We all care about you a lot.- it’s honestly a miracle you’re not crying already. You feel him take your hand, but don’t look away from his face.
-please let us help you- you squeeze his hand and nod, not trusting your voice not to break and the flood to hit as soon as you open your mouth. He smiles at you and you can’t help but do the same. -good. Then let’s go up and have dinner like we always do.- he starts walking and taking you with him, his hand still in yours. While you’re waiting for the elevator you can’t hold yourself back as you turn to him and give him a tight hug.-thank you- he hugs you back just as tight, -anytime, rookie.- you snort and let go of him, giving him a punch in the arm you’re sure he didn’t even feel as he laughed with you.
When you got to the big kitchen most of the team was already there, you sat down next to Natasha and Steve sat at her other side. The seat next to you was quickly occupied by Sam as he brought the pizza to the table. He gave you a side hug and squeezed your arm in sympathy but aside from that nobody even mentioned what happened last night, which you were grateful for. You ate like always, having conversations, laughing and teasing each other like normal, you didn’t feel like anyone was pitying you and you realized Steve was right: these people are your family, you could never leave them, and now, as you watch Loki and Peter trying to make you laugh while messing with Thor’s hair, you just know they’re gonna help you through everything.
What makes you sad to notice is that one brooding super soldier is missing, though you don’t bring it up for fear of opening that particular door. And that’s how you pass the next few weeks: avoiding anything and everything that has to do with Bucky, including the man himself. You start training with Natasha and realize how easy Bucky went on you, doing more missions with Sam and Steve and realized that missions weren’t as fun for everybody as they were for you and Bucky, hanging out during your down time with pretty much everyone and realized that you couldn’t have as much fun with everyone as you had with Bucky. So yeah, as much as you could avoid Bucky and talking about him to anybody, he lived rent free in your head. Fun, huh? It also didn’t help the look that Steve gave you every time you basically ran out of a room as soon as you caught a glimpse of your former best friend. 
Everybody noticed the change in your friendship, but it felt like they all took a silent oath to not mention anything to either of you. You were glad they were respecting your choice to stay away from Bucky. He, on the other hand, was going crazy. He hasn’t seen you in weeks, except for those few seconds before you realize he’s in the same room and run away. He doesn’t hear your voice unless he’s eavesdropping on you with someone else, but even then he never heard his name come out of your mouth. Nobody will tell him anything about you, the only thing he can get out of Steve is ‘she’s okay, just give her time’. He’s been trying his best to give you the space you need, but he feels like he’ll lose his mind if he doesn’t hear you say his name soon.
It’s been a month of successfully and not so subtly avoiding Bucky. There was one time where you were about to land for a mission, he got much too close to you for your liking and you thought he was about to say something so you grabbed a parachute and quite literally jumped out the jet, then walked the rest of the way to the Hydra base. Everyone had to wait for you, some annoyed, some found the situation too amusing to be bothered by it. Anyway. 
You’re at the gym for an early morning workout, a habit you took to when you started avoiding Bucky. You know he usually stays up at night, occasionally because he still gets nightmares, usually because his overthinking mind tortures him until early hours, so he uses mornings to sleep in when he doesn’t have missions. You’re on the treadmill when you hear the doors of the gym open but think nothing of it, assuming it’s just Steve replacing his morning run with a workout because it’s too hot to run outside. When you don’t hear him say anything, you’re about to turn your head to see who it is, but before you can do anything you feel two hands, one cold and one hot, on your waist. You squeal when they pick you up and take you away from the treadmill and set you down on the ground in front of it before turning off the machine.
-Bucky, what the fuck?! I could’ve gotten hurt!- you were so shocked you didn’t even fully realize you were actually talking to the person you’ve spent so much time and effort avoiding, or that you were walking backwards while Bucky was getting closer to you.
-oh please, I’d never let you get hurt- he’s almost amused, like this is a normal thing between you two, but the truth is he’s just happy that you’re actually talking to him. When your back hits the wall you realize too late that it’s Bucky in front of you, suddenly you’re looking around you to find a way to escape, but all you find is that he’s successfully trapped you between the wall and his body, his arms against the wall at either side of your head. You gulp loudly and if he notices he doesn’t say anything, but your brain is too busy registering the warmth of his body so close to yours to even be ashamed right now.
-Is this the only way I’ll get to talk to you now?- you almost missed his question, your eyes snapping up to meet his and, where you expected to see a smug look at having caught you not only off guard but also ogling, you found a frown and a slight pout. Something about the hurt on his face stopped you from lying or straight up kicking him so he’d move and you could run away. No, Bucky was your best friend, you’ve always felt the need to be honest with him ever since that first day, and even now you owe it to him to tell him nothing but the truth.
-I just need time- you hoped he understood.
-How much more time do you need?- apparently not.
-I don’t know, can’t you just be patient?- do you really have to ask him this?
-It’s been a month, doll, I think I’ve been plenty patient. Are you planning on avoiding me forever?- 
-not forever… just… I don’t know- if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know how long you would’ve kept on avoiding him. You were so busy doing the actual avoiding that you didn’t get to thinking when you’d be able to stop. You let out a sigh, but didn’t look away from his eyes for a second. He needed to know you meant every word you were about to say. -I was hurting, Bucky. I still am. I get that you have a girlfriend-
-I broke up with her- he interrupted you.
-you… what? When?- you weren’t expecting that.
-the night of our fight. I would’ve told you sooner but it was hard to catch you, you know with you avoiding me and everything.- you almost lost your train of thought, but it didn’t matter that he was single, he was still the first one to walk away, why was it so wrong for you to do it now?
-It doesn’t matter… I know you don’t owe me anything, but you walked away from me, from my feelings.- you could see Bucky’s confusion so, before he could say anything, you explained. -that night on the roof. I know you were there, you heard me say that I loved you and you walked away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. I know you don’t like me like that, and I can live with that in time, but it hurt. It still hurts.- you don’t know what you were expecting him to say, but it definitely wasn’t his next question.
-Do you remember the day we met?- you furrowed your brows in confusion and he waited for you to nod before he kept going. -we’ve never really talked about it, have we? It's ironic since we’ve talked about pretty much every topic we could possibly come up with. But that day, you introduced yourself and I just got up and walked away. Kind of what you’ve been doing this past few weeks-  he chuckled a bit and you had the impression he was getting closer to your face, but you were probably just imagining that.
-Yeah, I thought I did something wrong, but you were just a rude bitch.- he laughed and you couldn’t help but smile.
-I’m sorry about that, I just… the second I saw you I felt weird. And when you talked to me it was too much, I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know what I was feeling and my brain just screamed at me to get out, so I did. Then you came to my door and said all those nice things and that weird feeling started to feel more and more comfortable as you talked. It was nice. Then we became friends and I guess I just dismissed that feeling as friendship. It was a different type of friendship that I’d never had. Then again I’ve never been this close to a woman, emotionally speaking.- His hand came to cup your cheek and you couldn’t speak, so he took the opportunity to say everything he needed to say.
-This month has been hell for me, doll. I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anybody in my entire life. Not being able to spend time with you, joke around, talk to you, barely even see you. It's been driving me insane. Being away from you for so long made me realize what that feeling was. You’re not just my best friend, you’re my person. You’re my calm, and my reason. You’re my happiness, my home. You’re the love of my life.-
-what?- you were basically whispering, so quietly you’re sure he wouldn’t have heard you if he didn’t have super hearing.
-I love you too, doll. I love you.- he held your face in his hands -I love you.-
You felt like your brain shut down all of a sudden. You barely knew how to breathe, let alone talk. All you could do was stare at him, the look he was giving you making you weak in the knees.
-You’re killing me here, doll. For the love of god, say something, angel.- The nickname seemed to snap you out of it, and there was only one thing in your mind left to ask.
-If you love me, why didn’t you tell me on the roof?- he let out a deep sigh, you could feel his breath on your lips, but you tried your hardest to focus on his words and not his lips.
-For one I was still with Sharon. And I didn’t really know what I was feeling. Also, I wasn’t even sure you were serious. Honestly, I was just confused about the whole thing, and still mad about the fight, nothing good would’ve come from me staying and talking to you that night. I probably would’ve ended up hurting you more.- All that made a lot of sense, sure, but it didn’t change the fact that it hurt. The look in Bucky’s face at the moment though made you want to forgive him right this second and let this whole thing go. Pretend like the last month didn’t happen. 
So that’s what you did.
-What if…- you started, looking back and forth between his eyes and his lips -what if we forget all of this happened?-
-no.- he answered so fast and firmly that it made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. -I don’t want to forget anything about us, doll. Good or bad, it’s all worth it, as long as it ends with you in my arms.-
You were melting and couldn’t hold yourself back, you grabbed his face and brought his lips down to yours. He froze a little, probably not expecting it, but when you were about to pull away, he held your face to keep you there, deepening the kiss. You heard someone clear their throat and almost threw Bucky off of you, looking behind him while he turned to see who it was. Steve and Sam were standing there, amused looks on their faces.
-we were just talking- you blurted out and Sam cracked and almost doubled over with laughter.
-Really?- Steve said, knowing damn well what you were doing.
-Of course they were, Steve, she was obviously trying to get the word out of his mouth- Sam said to the blonde, still laughing his ass off.
-Oh, sure she was. Tell us, sweetheart, what did you find in Bucky’s mouth?- Steve was now laughing too, and you were so embarrassed you hid your face in Bucky’s chest. He wrapped his arms around you, barely glaring at the two laughing idiots.
-Ok, just get out of here, punks.- Fortunately they decided for once in their lives to actually listen and left. -you okay there, doll?- he was now chuckling at your embarrassment.
You raised your head and, meeting his eyes, you said -I can’t believe Captain Dumbass is making fun of us for kissing.- he started laughing and you gladly joined him, looking forward to making up for the time you missed with him, unknowingly promising each other to never let go of the other ever again.
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xoxoamyas · 5 months
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`` I love you ,,
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rating : fluff/comfort, pet names used on reader [ darling, love, and doll ]
wilbur x gn!reader [ use of you/yours, no use of y/n ]
☆ . you've been overworking yourself, and wilbur has taken notice. he finally gets you to take that well-deserved and needed break. <3
note : i'm in a tiny bit of a writers block, so i decided to give something out of my depths a try [ i'm more experienced in angst ]. anyhow, i hope you enjoy it! any pointers at all are also appreciated, i love to hear them :]
masterlist [ ☆ ]
⋆˙⟡
“Hello, darling.” You're greeted by that soft, mushy tone Wilbur uses whenever he's in a mood. His arms loosely wrapped around your shoulders from behind as you sat on a computer chair, having been working away at editing something for your own projects.
“You haven't left the office in some time.” Wilbur rested his chin along the top of your head, successful in getting you to finally relax back into the seat and effectively a fair amount back into him.
“Hardly call this an office.” You give a light huff, not needing to glance around the room to mentally know how barren it still was. You hadn't had time between keeping up with your own projects and paid-for products for others to decorate the barren room. At most, it had a beanbag in one of the corners and a singular photo of you and Wilbur from one of your dates. One photo, and you had so many ready to be printed. You just needed the time to actually do it.
“I know, love.” He's trying to be understanding, giving a soft sound between a hum and general acknowledgement.
The moment sits for a good moment, and it just feels nice. It makes your mind go blank, not worrying over whatever deadlines were approaching, almost completely forgetting about what projects could and couldn't wait.
Wilbur quietly says your name, drawing your attention and thoughts completely to him. A nice, fairly relaxing feeling washing over you. Realizing just how heavily stressing you had yourself for the past few days. He's quick to grasp your dominant hand into his when you go to reach for the mouse to your computer again.
“Take a break, please. A real break, love.” You can hear the concern lightly lacing into his tone. Wilbur moves a bit, instead to slightly kneel beside you, your hand still held in his yet in an easy grasp that you can pull away from. You wouldn't have pulled away no matter what.
“I just need to save the progress,” you try to explain, ignoring the wave of nervousness that hits. The realization you were about to put your much necessary work down to take a break. Something you convinced yourself you didn't need no matter how much you truly did.
You can practically feel Wilbur's eyes flicker over you, likely seeing through whatever calmness you were visibly projecting. He removes his hand from yours, replacing the touch by letting his hand cup around your shoulder. On his way to standing completely, he presses a kiss to your temple. Seeing the application close a moment later, showing the homescreen of a picture you took and held sentimental value to.
You take his hand in yours again when he offers it, standing and instantly moving in. Wrapping your arms around his torso, and yeah, you've missed this. Wilbur's arms move in an automatic manner, efficiently pulling you closer to him as you press your face into his shirt. Just breathing him in for a few seconds, basking in the warmth he had all the same.
It stays like that, the two of you in a much needed embrace that had you both melting against one another.
“Bed?” Wilbur is the first to break the peaceful silence. It's definitely a welcome break of the quiet. Realizing just how much you've missed hearing his voice, feeling the way his chest moved as he breathed, listening to the way his heart beat when you pressed your ear against his chest..
When you finally nod at his question, having gotten carried away with that last point, he surprises you by suddenly wrapping his hands along the back of your thighs. Taking that as your signal and slightly jumping up for him so he can pick you up easier. Legs slightly curled along the sides of his waist, your arms moving to wrap around his neck. He uses both of his hands to support your bottom, making sure you were both good before he made his way out of the office.
You just mostly rest your cheek on top of his shoulder, feeling almost like you could fall asleep. Though, from past experience, you knew your legs would hate you if you did that.
Wilbur has to remove one of his hands a couple of times for doors, but you're mostly supported the entire time. He taps the bedroom door shut with his foot before moving towards the bed. Pressing one knee into it before letting you go through your theatrics and dramatics. He chuckles fondly as you groan when your back hits the comfortable mattress. Proceeding to give a sound of complaint as you stretch your limbs out over and off the side of the bed. You think bones that weren't supposed to pop popped, but that would be an issue for future you.
“What are you doing?” You queried with pure curiosity, watching as Wilbur moved himself off of the bed. Continuing to lay there, content in taking up the entire space as if you were a cat.
“Can't exactly sleep in jeans, darling.” There's a hint of amusement as Wilbur speaks. Laughing the slightest bit when you give a soft and long “ooohh” in return. “Work on getting comfortable, doll.” He partially motions towards the sheets you were laying on top of.
Any other day, you'd make some witty comeback, maybe a suggestive comment on him changing in front of you. You just don't have the energy for it at the moment, though. Mentally committing the moment to memory so you can be a little extra next time to make up for lack-thereof this time.
By the time Wilbur's finally in some comfortable pyjama pants, which were Grinch themed, you were under the covers and practically almost lights out just laying there. You feel him crawl into the bed, giving a content hum and moving on your side to face him, instantly hinting at not wanting to spoon.
“Hi darling.” Wilbur had a small yet sweet smile on his face, pulling you close by wrapping his arms around your waist. Both of you let your legs intertwine and tangle together as much as possible. You wrap your arms around his torso once more, happy to be holding him as he holds you.
“Hi sweetheart.” You hum right back, watching as he can't hold back the smile tugging into a borderline grin. Always one to be happy over the reciprocation of pet names. You loved watching him get all happy and giggly over it.
“Okay, okay. Try and get some sleep, love.” Wilbur moves, pressing a kiss to your nose. Having fully expected a more proper kiss, you pout at him, promptly making kissy lips at him. It just gets him to let out a light yet amused laugh, finally moving and pressing a soft, loving, and fulfilling kiss to your lips.
When he pulls away, you tuck your head right under his chin. Relaxing and enjoying the warmth that was provided inside and out.
“Hey, Wil?” You make sure your voice is a soft whisper.
“Yeah?” Wilbur moved one of his hands to trace light patterns along your back using his fingers, the action soothing.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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blobbirobbi · 2 months
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Just a trashy impulse fic because lee Xiao is calling my name today.
The art is not my art. This fic takes place right after the Chasm quest. So there will be spoilers.
Value Your Life
Lee: Xiao
Ler: Zhongli
Summary: After Zhongli saved Xiao's life after his sacrifice, there is some scolding to be done.
∆This is a tickle fic∆
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(Asdghjkl I'm obsessing over this art)
"I thought I told you to be cautious, yet you threw your life away without a second thought."
Xiao's gaze found its way to the ground. He had been fully prepared to sacrifice his life for the Traveler and their companions, but he had never expected to be saved by Rex Lapis. Now, he was getting scolded.
"My apologies, Rex Lapis," Xiao's voice was quiet, "I deemed it was necessary in order to save them."
Zhongli's gaze softened as he looked at the adeptus. The boy's demeanor reminded him of a small child who just broke a vase, guilt-ridden and awkward.
The grass of Guili Plains swayed in the evening breeze. They came here so they could speak in peace away from the public, mortal eye.
Zhongli sighed as Xiao remained silent, staring at the ground, "you should know that there are people who care about you, and would be most saddened by your demise. You should consider their perspective on the matter next time you consider doing something like this."
Xiao nodded, "I will."
The archon paused, noticing Xiao was stiff as a board. He then pondered what he could do to get the boy to relax for once. Zhongli was never good with words of affirmation, so what else could he do...
Zhongli's thoughts were interrupted by a soft gasp coming from Xiao's direction.
His focus came back to reality, but with the scene in front of him, Zhongli's eyebrows raised slightly.
A small bird had found its way onto Xiao's shoulder, chirping and nuzzling against the adeptus' neck and ear. Xiao swatted at the bird, but it refused to leave him alone.
To Zhongli's surprise, a wobbly smile appeared on the adeptus' lips, and soft giggles soon followed.
"Hey- Quit ihihit-" Xiao gave the bird one final swat, and it finally gave up, flying away to a nearby tree.
Zhongli, who had been observing, now had an idea how to make the hard-working adeptus relax.
"Xiao. Come here."
The boy's head snapped up as the silence between them was broken. "Yes, coming."
Xiao walked towards Zhongli. Part of him was curious about the archon's sudden request, but another part told him to not question it.
Once Xiao was in proximity, Zhongli scooped the adeptus into his arms with one swift motion. It wasn't difficult, given Xiao's small stature.
Xiao gasped at the sudden movement, "Rex Lapis, what are you doi-ihihing ahahaha nohohoho!" The adeptus' sentence was interrupted due to the sudden scribbling fingers on his stomach. Rex Lapis was... Tickling him?
Zhongli, holding Xiao with one arm leaving one hand to tickle him with, chuckled. "Consider this to be a lesson. Please treat your own life with more value."
Xiao's feet fluttered and he covered his face with hands as he giggled and squirmed in Zhongli's hold. The thin material of his clothing did not help against the archon's fingers skittering all around his torso.
Zhongli vaguely remembered seeing Xiao's ticklishness present itself once before. With the other yaksha, he thought, Bosacious loved to tickle Xiao when they weren't slaying monsters.
Smiling at the memory, Zhongli crept his fingers under Xiao's shirt, his smile turning to a chuckle when the adeptus squealed in response.
"REHehex LahAhapis whAhaY-" Xiao's protests were cut short by a snort caused by a finger swirling in his navel.
Zhongli couldn't help but laugh along with the sounds coming out of Xiao's mouth.
Tickling him along the way, Zhongli moved his fingers down further, where he then began to squeeze and scribble the adeptus' knees.
Xiao squealed and let out an uncharacteristically loud cackle, his hands moving away from his face to try and pry the archon's hands away from his knees.
Zhongli looked back at Xiao's face, and couldn't resist smiling at what he saw. The adeptus' face was tinted pink, his eyes were squeezed shut, and his mouth was grinning from ear to ear.
"Now, have you learned your lesson?" Zhongli asked. Though he wasn't actually trying to punish him. This was merely a means to relieve Xiao of his adeptal duties and to let him relax, even if it's only for a few minutes.
"IHI wOHon't dOHo IHIT agAHAHAin I'M sOhOHorrY!" Tears had begun to fall down Xiao's cheeks, and Zhongli could tell that he's had enough. Zhongli's hand slowly came to a halt.
Xiao panted, wiping the tears from his face. He turned his head away, slightly embarrassed from his loss of composure. He muttered.
"You can put me down now."
Without a further word, Zhongli set the adeptus back onto the ground.
"I trust you will take your own life more seriously from now on?" Zhongli crossed his arms.
Xiao nodded, his ears pink. He then disappeared, leaving dark green particles in his place.
Zhongli sighed. What was he going to do with that kid.
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Rook, Ortho: Princess Power
BRUH 💀 Go figure, giving the guy obsessed with beauty two of the least flattering screenshots in his background frames… But hey, his groovy is very different from everyone else’s so far! ^^ Very relaxed and peaceful.
Cbjssbjsjskendb new tidbits about pre-Pomefiore Rook?? He used to cut his own hair with a knife and focused on keeping his bangs out of his line of sight… and he wasn’t as confident about his style (mood). It’s also interesting to know that he started doing ballet on Vil’s recommendation, and that has helped a lot with his posture, working out muscles he doesn’t normally use, and appreciating the art of performances. We love Pomefiore out here breaking gender norms 👊
A Tale as Old as Time.
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Rook drew out a longing sigh, gently easing into the quiet of the museum. The soft sound lingered, coiling around his fingers like thread from a spool. It, too, did not wish to part ways with the stunning beauty laid out bare before it.
A fair maiden was framed in shining platinum. Hair black as ebony, lips as red as the rose, and skin as white as snow... Truly, she was the fairest in all the land.
Her graceful frame was folded, kneeling on the forest floor to greet the woodland creatures that had gathered. The pale yellow skirt of her gown spilled out, blue bodice and puff sleeves fitted well by her figure. Her face round and gentle, in spite of the high collar encircling it, crowed by a petite red bow.
Here was pure innocence, a young girl reveling in nature.
“Beauté,” he marveled—to no one in particular, but such beauty warranted verbal acknowledgement.
“It seems that this painting has captured your interest, Rook Hunt-san!” a voice chirped. A neon blue light emanated from the darkness, accompanied by the silver flash of metal.
“Bonjour!” Rook greeted Ortho. "I must confess, I have been enchanted by this particular work of art! The brush strokes, masterful! The composition, immaculate!! The subject—oh, how it makes my heart quiver with nostalgia!! I am a man close to being moved to tears!!”
Ortho curiously glanced at the girl and her animal friends. No strong emotions arose within up from him. Perhaps he did not feel as much, or perhaps Rook felt too much. “Is there a sentimental experience or memory you have related to this painting…?”
“Oui! It is a tale as old as time.” Rook gestured to the snow white young lady. “They say that this maiden was a princess forced to flee from her home country, as a hostile presence threatened her life. She retreated into the woods and found comfort in a humble life there. Her tenacity is most admirable!!”
“Tenacity… That’s the value that Pomefiore was founded on!” Ortho, floating overhead, beamed at Rook. “I understand why you would like that story. It has a good moral that sticks with you.”
“That is the beauty of telling tales! They inspire those who hear of it, ensuring that the spirit of the story is never truly extinguished.” The huntsman’s eyes held a keep glint to them. “Tell me, Ortho-kun. What do you believe makes a princess?”
The boy blinked. A split second, and he had already input the term into an internal search engine, the formal definition loaded up to recite.
“Prin-cess, noun. The daughter of a monarch or wife to a prince. A woman having sovereign power.”
“An efficient, succinct answer!” Rook applauded, his cheer never faltering. “However, my desire is to know your interpretation. In Ortho-kun’s own words, what makes a princess?”
“My own…?” The words stretched, unsure, on his tongue. Ortho hesitated—seeking, processing, and analyzing. Rook’s heartbeat sounded where there was the space for the boy to think.
Then, finally, Ortho spoke.
“From what I’ve observed in movies and books, the princess is a pop culture icon. She’s usually presented as a role model for little girls. Someone who is beautiful, dainty, and composed, wearing a pretty dress and a glittering crown."
A pause. Ortho assessed Rook’s hard-to-read, bright expression.
“… Is that closer to the response you were looking for, Rook Hunt-san?” he asked.
To this, the third year’s lips quirked. “There is no correct or incorrect answer! I was curious to see your perspective. Everyone holds one that differs, lenses of all designs and colors with which to see the world through! You have my most heartfelt thanks for sharing your view with me.”
"Oh, I see! You're collecting data from a variety of sources to compare to a standard." The android (literally) lit up from within. "Let me ask the same back! Rook Hunt-san, what do you think makes a princess?"
"Mon dieu! You've set my own trap upon me," Rook teased.
The Beautiful Queen, the Fair Maiden, Vil, his peers... So many fragments of beauty in his collection. Plucked, collected, hoarded.
He ran a finger along his chin, contemplating. The thoughts assembled like a collage. Ideas taken, cut up, and pasted together into a new, glorious artwork.
"A princess can be many things," Rook declared with certainty. "They are a princess to their very core, even when their power is stripped from them or they are dressed in only ashes and rags. What defines them is not royal heritage or political influence, but the strength of their character, their values and virtues. They are not bound by a singular trait, but are aspirations to all in their own ways."
Ortho's eyes swelled. "Eh...? That's so broad! By your definition, anyone could be a princess—even you or I!”
The huntsman threw his head back and laughed. "Broad it may be, but I am of the opinion that we all have it in us to live up to the title~”
He indicated the woman in the platinum frame. Ortho’s gaze obediently followed. "Even without a kingdom to call her own, she remained kind-hearted rather than turn to cruelty. That is why she was, and always will be, a noble soul. A princess who puts out good into the world.”
“Rook Hunt-san…”
“Ortho-kun!” Rook dramatically extended an arm to him. He was practically sparkling in the dim room. “I, too, endeavor to put out as much beauty as what is gifted to me! That is my one true calling as the Hunter of Love: to not only seek out beauty, but to cultivate and to contribute to it!”
Ortho silently stared. Nii-san did warn me that Rook Hunt-san could be eccentric, but… maybe there’s some meaning to be found in it.
Cutting through the numbers and the formulas that governed him was a fuzzy warmth. Not the familiar jolt of electricity that powered his circuits. It was too wild, too unpredictable.
Something undeniably human.
Ortho let out a giggle. "Hehe. Then you must be a princess too!"
Rook's mouth formed a small "o". Unsubtle surprise—or perhaps purposefully exaggerated. "Me? Whatever makes you think that?"
"Strength of character!" Ortho parroted mischievously. "I've never met someone as uplifting as you are. Rook Hunt-san is the type of person that sees a princess in everyone."
The boy lowered himself to a few centimeters off of the ground, pretending to dip into a curtsey. "Your majesty!"
"Fufufu. You're quite charming yourself, Princess Ortho-kun!" Rook bent into a deep bow. "Most clever in all the land, computing complex problems in the blink of an eye!”
Upon straightening, the third year laid both hands over his heart. He lifted his head toward the painting of the fair maiden in the forest. A serene smile at his lips.
It was as if he was pledging his allegiance, making a vow. A worshipper at the altar to pray.
“May we all live happily ever after,” Rook whispered raptly, “like the princesses of old.”
Forever and ever.
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yorshie · 5 months
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Twitterpaited
Hey, These are my Springtime Headcanons!
That's right, we all know that I'm talking about mating season. I tried to not go explicit with these but by the vey nature of these headcanons they are adults doing adult things, so read at your own discretion. There’s cussing and mentions/alludes to adult activities. Set in 2023 so turtles are 24-25
Spring starts slow, creeping up like an itch on their carapace and a skin sensitivity. It hits them all in slightly different degrees of uncomfortableness, but by the end of the roughly two weeks they’re all done with each other and their own instincts. Splinter caught on to the signs of encroaching puberty in their early teenage years. When they were younger, all it amounted to was shedding shells and outbursts of manic emotion and moodiness, but by the time the the turtles are in their twenties it’s a full hormonal raging see-saw. He nopes out to Casey’s and April’s apartment every year by then. They make up the guest room for him and he turns off his phone for the duration. His sons are adults, they can figure out their own shit, and in his older age he values his peace and quiet. And the Lair in springtime is anything but that.
Everything comes out of left field and sucker punches the turtles every year. The human friends of the bale might have picked up on cues to determine when the craziness is gonna start, but to the turtles it feels like nothing is amiss until they’re in the thick of it nine miles behind enemy lines, ass deep in cleaning supplies, snack food, and suddenly unable to stand the sight or smell of each other.
Territorial out the wazoo, and that’s an understatement. They’ll get pissy over someone wiping their feet on the wrong shower rug. Everything in their space must be clean, must be straight, orderly and neat. For Leo this is no problem, but Raphael and Mikey spend a good day or two cleaning out their rooms because their turtle brains can stand the ‘pigsty’ all of a sudden and they can’t find the one object they need that they haven’t thought about all year. One year for Raph it was a particular pair of boxing gloves and he didn’t sleep for three days straight trying to find them. The compulsion to have a clean space drives Donnie up the wall the most, because the poor turtle will never have a clean Lab, no matter how hard he tries. The good side of that is, no one runs into hormonal Donnie as long as they stay away from the Lab- which is a good thing since he discovered years ago caffeine makes everything worse. Just imagine, hormonal Donnie with no caffeine. shudder.
One time Casey nipped down to grab something Splinter forgot, and when he came back home April Frebreeze-ed him outside the apartment before he was allowed to enter. The turtles stink during their springtime, especially with only rival males around to interact with. It’s like they’re each putting out ‘fuck you and fuck off’ stench and it permeates the air. Casey said it smells like a musky skunk, and April swears it smells like a boy’s locker room when she got a whiff of it second handed off Casey. Splinter shocked them both by mumbling into his tea “It smells like they’re horny and pissy.” Raph is the worst at this, but Leo is a close second. Every time poor Mikey sticks his nose outside his bedroom all he can smell is ‘fuck you and the horse you rode in on’ from his elder two brothers and being the smallest and youngest, his turtle senses equate it to ‘I’m gonna get my ass kicked if I leave this room’. 
Despite everyone being frustrated and pissy about it, there’s not a lot of fist fights going on. It’s more subtle postering than anything overt, and it’s mostly between Leo and Raph. Whenever they clock the other in their peripheral, they start up a warning rumble that, in Raph’s case, will shake the furniture in the room if he puts effort into it. At most it’ll escalate into huffing and flexing their arms and chests, but it’s likely to scare the shit out of anyone watching. Every once in a while Mikey will be feeling his oats and will rumble back, and it’s usually enough to shock the shit out of his bigger brothers and they’ll stop for a bit. Leo absolutely hates it. He’s the leader, but come Springtime everyone seems to forget that, and for him it feels like every time he sees Raphael he’s in a power struggle for the mantle. Raph is just pissed he has to see Leo's ugly mug and judgmental eye rolls when he’d rather just get his food and get the fuck back to watching tv in his room with his door locked. 
The one thing that will cause them to stop in their tracks, however, is the discovery of anything smol.  Raph turns on his tv and sees baby animals by accident? Bawls for hours. Families or small children running around exploring on Mikey’s instagram reel feed? Turtle is hit in the chest with the thought that he will likely never be a father. Leo finds old photos of when they were toddlers while cleaning his room?He’ll avoid everyone for the rest of the day, chest tight at the thought of little faces that resemble his own. Donnie finds all the parenting books he downloaded over the hope of ‘what if’? He’ll throw them in the trash and then dig them out hours later in a silent apology to whatever kernel of hope he has.
Now as the turtles get older, there’s always the chance they have an s/o during their Springtime. They learned the hard way that things can get really weird, really quickly, when one year April hugged Raph goodbye after a game night in March and she said “wow you smell really good for some reason”- cue the turtles locking eyes in dawning horror and scuttling out of the room like their pants are literally on fire, and April disgustedly cussing Raph out over the phone once she figured out what exactly was happening. So, needless to say, if the turtles do have an s/o during these two weeks, there is a strict order to stay away from the Lair. If the relationship is far along enough, the turtle could join their s/o at their place, provided they can take the whole two weeks and then some off work, because there is no way any of the turtles could chill enough to let their s/o leave the safety of the nest until turtle.exe stops hogging the brain console and logic comes back online. Even if their s/o leaves just to run errands, they’ll likely come home to find a stressed turtle panic cleaning and vibrating off the walls, rumbling every time they hear footsteps outside in the hall… Maybe it’s better just to leave him in the Lair to preserve his poor blood pressure.
Courtship behavior, however, comes out as well in the Springtime, and it’s something to contend with if either the warning isn’t heeded or the turtle heads aboveground. During the other months of the year, the turtles are more into romancing their s/o’s in a more ‘normal’ manner, but during those two weeks the little voice that warns them humans won’t really ‘get’ all the turtle-y interactions goes suspiciously quiet. Actions such as kissing, hand holding, and personal bubble space go right out the proverbial window, and in their place pop up some more hindbrain postering that, well to be honest, can be downright confusing
One of the most obvious courtships traits is dogging their s/o’s footsteps. It’s a shadowing instinct, made ten times worse by their ninja training and their ability to move silently, and nine times out of ten they don’t even realize they’re doing it until their s/o turns and runs into them. They’re always in the way, always underfoot, and if they can’t physically follow they’ll track with their gaze. It gets worse if the other turtles are around, to the point where their s/o might feel like they’re being stalked by a particularly rumbly bodyguard that covers their back at all times. Surprisingly (sarcasm), Mikey is the worst offender. Leo is the best at keeping himself to only following with his eyes, but eventually they’ll all break and find themselves one step from being up against their chosen partner.
Another turtle-y interaction that grips them hard is the need to provide. He notices his s/o hasn’t eaten in a few hours? He’ll make a point to get them to eat or to bring them snacks. The room’s too cold or there’s too few blankets to cuddle up in? He’ll bring the covers from the bed if he can’t get away with just relocating to the  bedroom, but no matter what he’s getting some article of his ill-fitting clothing on his s/o. It’s a ‘kill two birds with one stone’ technique that soothes the itch in his snout that absolutely freaks him out when he realizes his s/o doesn’t smell like him.
The turtles also turn handsy overnight. Their s/o better be prepared for casual touch at any open opportunity, because the turtles will not waste it. Everything from a hand on the small of their s/o’s back, to touching any bare skin, to fluttering their fingers against their s/o’s face. The latter happens the least, and only when no one else is around to witness it. If their s/o ever tries to turn the tables and return the favor around others, it quickly becomes apparent by the sputtering and coughing from the other brothers that they might not understand all the connotations associated with the action. Cue their turtle getting flustered and all but ducking their head into their shell in embarrassment over being propositioned in front of his family.
Cuddle time dissolves into massages as an excuse to rub up against their s/o, to the point that the s/o might have to point out that massages are usually done with hands and not by just bumping and rubbing a turtle snout over any body part they can reach, which will only be answered with annoyed grumbling and insistence that they ‘aren’t’ doing that… while not stopping doing exactly that. There is also no such thing as personal space while cuddling- if their s/o doesn’t want a heavy ass turtle in their lap, they better nab that spot first or risk being squashed.
Speaking of turtle rumbles, those aren’t the only sounds that come out with a vengeance during springtime. The turtles all churr more readily, chirp and click to get each others and their s/o’s attention, but when they’re alone with their s/o it ramps up, to the point where they’ll forgo words all together. Donnie is the worst offender as he’s battling not only hormones but also caffeine withdrawals, and as such he tends to only hiss at his brothers when they stick their heads into his lab to make sure he’s still alive. With their s/o's however, it's all rumbles deep in their chest and churrs that are likely to rattle the breath in their chests. Raph has the lowest auditory range with his rumbles while Mikey sounds the sweetest.
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femmefatalevibe · 2 years
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Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Embody Queen Energy
Living in your queen energy requires you to stand in your power and look after yourself to the highest degree in every area of life. When tapping into this higher frequency, you realize that putting yourself first allows you to show up at your best – both for yourself and others. Here are some tips to embody the queen energy you’re meant to live in: 
Put Yourself First: Remember – your self-perception becomes your public image. You need to believe in yourself before others will. Believe that you’re worthy of living your dream life which includes achieving your loftiest goals and indulging your deepest desires. Reframe any resistance. Identify as someone who lives a life of abundance where all of your manifestations enter into your orbit with ease. 
Be Honest With Who You Want To Be: Sit down with yourself (and some writing utensils – whether it’s pen and paper or a keyboard) and journal to describe your ideal self. Don’t hold back. Indulge in your wildest dreams, goals, and fantasies. Become conscious of any limiting beliefs that come to mind as you write out these aspirations. Jot them down – they’ll give you some insight into what’s holding you back, so you can bridge the gap between who you show up as today and who you’re going to be once you put in the inner work. 
Make A Deliberate Effort To Discover Your Values, Passions, & Boundaries: Figure out what matters most to you in life. What activities, topics, aesthetics, art, clothing, hobbies, sounds, movements, books, television shows, movies, songs, and types of conversations most light you up inside? Here are some resources to guide your self-discovery journey HERE, HERE, and HERE.
Build A Strong Personal Brand & Cult of Personality: I have more tips on building your personal brand, creating your persona (or ‘Dream Girl archetype’), and an ultimate Femme Fatale playbook linked HERE, HERE, and HERE.
Prioritize All Aspects of Your Health: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual, Spiritual. Celebrate your needs – they make you human. Eat a healthful, plant-based diet, exercise and walk daily, meditate, read at least 10 pages a day, journal, make to-do lists, declutter your space, self-pleasure, recite your affirmations, lean into shadow and mirror work, create morning and nighttime routines. Feeling in alignment is essential to allowing your magnetic aura to shine through. Find all of my tips to cultivate self-regard in every area of life HERE.
Read, Study, & Build A Strong Skillset: Designing the life of your dreams is an inevitable aspect of living in your queen energy. Stay informed, read books and articles on your industry, interests, current events, cultural happenings, history, and any other topic that brings you joy or you would find intriguing if someone brought up the subject at a dinner party. Mastering an evergreen skillset is essential for succeeding in your career or building a business. Living in your queen energy means living in abundance. While queen energy is a mindset, it is impossible to fully live in this dream reality without having passions and your finances in order. Start with my entire Femme Fatale booklist HERE and guide to building your dream career HERE.
Learn The Art of Detachment: Acknowledge what's out of your control. Living in your queen energy means you understand that it's important to work your hardest and smartest to determine the outcome of anything you can control. Otherwise, you have to let it go – people, professional opportunities, possessions. Projection, misalignment, or an undesirable fit does not deter you from striving toward your goals and relishing in satisfaction. Others' contempt and rejection serve as a cue for self-reflection and redirection.
Become Extremely Discreet Yet Utterly Shameless: Do as you please, but keep your business (or pleasure) to yourself. Privacy is peace, power, bliss, and radiates quiet confidence – the greatest telltale sign that someone is living in her queen energy. Learn to hold your own. You will be guaranteed to earn respect within seconds of gracing anyone's presence.
Maintain Proper Posture: Shoulder back, chest open, back straight. Don’t be shy about taking up space. 
Accept Compliments With Grace: A smile and ‘thank you’ pairing is the most confident and elegant response. Some more confidence and social skill tips are linked HERE and HERE.
Live Unapologetically While Displaying Radical Empathy: Uphold your boundaries. Live your truth. Never beg or settle for less.
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hearthotchner · 1 year
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flowers, petnames, and, apologies
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— inspired by this post, which was prompted by a tiktok sound
walking into the bullpen, derek morgan couldn’t help but notice the person delivering a large bouquet of flowers, “woah woah woah, who are these for?” he asked, assuming they were for one of his female co-workers.
“um.. a mr aaron hotchner?”
derek’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and his jaw dropped, just before the expression was replaced with a mischievous smirk, “let me take this off your hands, i’ll give ‘em to him.”
after bidding the delivery man a thank you and goodbye, derek carefully placed it onto his empty desk; almost immediately, his coworkers surrounded him, intrigued by the colourful array of flowers that lay on his desk.
the bouquet wasn’t overwhelmingly bright, yet it wasn’t void of hues either. they were light, soft, pastel colours — easy on the eyes — majorly white, but with splashes of light yellows, baby pinks and reds dotted around, with, just a hint of blue.
“do you know who they’re from?” penelope’s voice piped up.
before morgan could respond, he was cut off by reid, “most likely a partner. did you guys know that lily of the valley actually represents new beginnings, which is why they’re used for various occasions: weddings, baby showers. and, the blue hyacinths show a desire to make peace — they’re apology flowers, the colours are those usually used to display remorse.” his voice got higher as he got more excited about the topic, “oh! and roses are typically used for a romantic partner, and are normally pink or red; in this instance they’re yellow, and there’s a lot of them, meaning they’re likely to be his favourites.”finally taking in the bewildered looks of his colleagues, the young genius smiled sheepishly at them, quickly shutting himself up.
“you look way too far into things, reid.” derek rolled his eyes, “they’re probably just an early valentine.”
“there’s a note.” jj pointed out — it was hidden inbetween a couple roses.
as derek reached for it, penelope scolded him, “hey! stop messing it up! we really shouldn’t be snooping, you know he likes his privacy.” she frowned, attempting to remain mature, “but i wanna know so badly- be careful!” she lightly smacked his arm.
with confidence that he was right, derek flipped the note over to read it out loud; the smirk wiped off his face at the first two words he saw, “i’m sorry.” he read in annoyance, while glaring at spencer — but nothing could prepare any of them for the next words,
“miss you pookie bear?”
meanwhile, said pookie bear was sat at his desk, paying no mind to what was going on in the bullpen, with his head in his hands: your argument from the night before being the only thing he could think about.
“this is the third time you’ve done this, aaron.”disappointment evident in your voice.
“i know, i’m sorry.” there were his empty apologies, “i got caught up at work, i lose track of time.” and his pathetic attempts to excuse his negligence of your relationship.
“but you always do this, you’re never here. you never text, or call, and i’m waiting up until 12 in the morning for you.”
“look, we’ll talk about it in the morning, i’m tired.” he sighed.
“we won’t, because you’ll be gone before i wake up.” you were telling the truth — that’s exactly what he did the next morning, left for work without saying a word.
he furrowed his eyebrows in frustration, “you knew what it was going to be like when we started dating, you said you could handle it. my job is demanding.”
rightfully so, you were becoming upset, “not for paperwork! i understand that you get called away abruptly, and i love that you value other peoples lives before your own — it’s why i fell in love with you.” you smiled at him softly, although, it wasn’t for long. “but, i’m talking about when you’re cooped up in the office for so long, there’s no reason for you to be staying there for that much time, after everyone else has left.”
then, everything went quiet for a bit, with you waiting for him to provide some sort of explanation, and when you didn’t get that, you continued, “i just think… if you had to choose between me or your job, you’d pick your job with no hesitation.”
the lack of response caused your face to fall, “i’m sleeping in the guest room tonight, aaron.”
he should’ve done something, anything. instead, he ran away, avoided you like a coward, using his office as a place to seek refuge from taking accountability for his actions.
one time, you told him he was bravest man you ever knew — he almost laughed at how wrong you were.
history was repeating itself. you were his second chance at love, and he was making the same old mistakes, that cost him his family. aaron thought he had changed, swore to himself that he’d never do something like this again. but, here he was, having someone waiting at home, willing to drop anything for him, yet he wouldn’t do the same.
picking up his phone, he dialled your number.
it rang out for a minute, before going to voicemail — he hoped you were just busy, and weren’t already walking out of his life.
“hey,” he breathed “i wanted to say i’m sorry, for last night, this morning.. everything really. i shouldn’t have left, and i should’ve said something.” closing his eyes, he stopped himself from rambling, because you deserved to hear it in person, “i’ll be home soon, and we can talk.. please call me back.” please don’t leave me. “i love you.”
hurriedly gathering his things, aaron walked out of his office; path coming to a stop when he saw his team staring at him, all looking a little smug. a puzzled look found it’s way onto the unit chiefs face.
“hey there snookums.” derek grinned.
aaron quirked a brow, frown deepening, “what?”
stifling a giggle, emily gestured to the bouquet, “someone sent you flowers.”
knowing exactly who sent them, he swiftly excused himself to set it up in his office.
when he read the note, he felt his lips curve up slightly, and he jokingly huffed at the petname — you always loved making him blush and laugh with the obscure names you’d come up with for him.
but, why were you apologising? you did nothing wrong. it should’ve been him doing this, not you.
right as his thoughts began to spiral, they were interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket.
“hi, aaron! did you get my gift?” hearing the sweet sound of your voice, so excited and happy to speak to him, brought a sense of relief over him.
rough hands slowly reached over to feel the soft yellow rose petals. “yeah, i did. thank you.” his brows tilted upwards, guilt kicking in again, “why are you saying sorry?”
“‘cause, i shouldn’t have accused you of choosing your job over me, it wasn’t right to push that on you-”
were you out of your mind?
“sweetheart, please stop.” he begged. “you haven’t done anything wrong. telling me how you feel isn’t wrong — telling me that i’m not doing enough isn’t wrong. we need to tell each other these things.” he shut down your attempts to put yourself at unnecessary fault. “i know i haven’t been around lately, but i’m gonna change that. i promise. i want to be deserving of your love, (y/n).”
“you already are, aaron.” you whispered.
“i’m leaving now, so i’ll talk to you at home. i have a bunch of free days to use, and we have lost time to make up for.” he smiled.
closing the door behind him for a second time, aaron scanned the room, his team no longer huddled in one spot, now at their desks; still deep in a conversation he didn’t care that much for.
the bullpen fell silent at the sight of him with his briefcase and keys in his hand, shocked that he was leaving early — not even on time.
morgan, of course, was the first to talk, “where’re you off to in such a hurry honeybunny?” snickering at his own joke.
“don’t make me flag you for creating a hostile work environment, derek.”
“that’s not funny!”
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ju1cyfru1t · 6 months
Text
one way mirror
(rise! Donnie x reader)
rottmnt x reader
angst??? idrk, gn reader 🤞
on my mother listen to this fcking song 😭
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No excuse
Sent my love away, and now I'm so confused
Tried so hard to leave, and now I wanna get back
I wanna get you back
Wanna come to you
Donatello stared at his computer with dead eyes after another sleepless night. His lab has always been a place of escape; a safe place, a sanctuary for him. Now it felt so empty and lifeless, despite the bright neon purple lights and little space left in the room.
He glanced over at the loveseat in the far corner where you’d curl up and wait patiently while he worked, your bored eyes scrolling your phone. Always waiting just for him.
Why did he have to push you away? If this was the right choice, then why did it feel wrong? If this was what he thought he wanted, why did he want nothing more than to run back to you? Why did it hurt so bad to know that he can’t?
No embrace
No one there to kiss me when I end my days
Tried so hard to run, and now I wanna get back
I wanna get back
Wanna run to you
He’d always been a turtle who valued his peaceful quiet time, but the silence and absence of your laughter in the air killed him.
Donnie leaned back in his chair and pictured you standing behind him, your warm arms wrapped around him tightly. Your presence as you leaned over his shoulder to watch as he tinkered. He could never tell if you understood a word of what he was saying but he did know you listened, and that was more than enough for him. You were more than enough.
He knew he could never be close to enough; he couldn’t give you what you needed. You were always waiting on something, and he knew that wasn’t fair to you no matter how desperately he wanted it to be. He knew you would wait as long as it takes, even if it was hundreds of years and that pained him. It made it so much harder when you were so understanding; the guilt burned him from head to toe.
He closed his eyes, imagining you were holding him like you always would whenever he needed you to. Short, gentle kisses when he was having a long day. Your secret moments just for the two of you, and now you would have to give them to someone else. It’s a struggle for him not to be selfish when it comes to you, as he wished your longing glances would exist only for him but now all he could see in his head was the hurt and confusion in your eyes when he let you go.
He finds it almost humorous but incredibly despairing how two people can go from being so, so close to strangers in a matter of minutes. Funny yet mournful how he can’t feel truly like himself anymore without you by his side, and frustrating that he didn’t know if he ever would.
It was all his own fault. He did this to himself after all.
But why do I feel like a stranger behind a one-way mirror?
Like someone listening in
I haven't felt myself since
I can't say when
But I wanna get you back
——————————————————————————-
STREAM RICKY’S NEW ALBUM Y’ALL🤞
the first time I listened to this song, WHICH IS THE FIRST SONG ON THE ALBUM FOR SOME REASON, I was in math class and I had to FIGHT to not sob right then and there because like wtf Ricky
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the-darklings · 2 years
Note
❛ if i kissed you, i don’t think i’d be able to stop. ❜ for dream/wanderer please ✨
pairing: dream of the endless x f!reader (wanderer)
wc: 791
notes: used up the last prompt from my initial reblog, so keep an eye out in the future since I might reblog another list. for now, enjoy some Sexual TensionTM and playfulness between the duo.
dream & wanderer series: part one | series masterlist | ao3 |
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Morpheus doesn’t enjoy games. He doesn’t permit himself childish fancies for idle amusement, suitable only for wasting time.  
His siblings—Desire, at least, though Delirium, too, no doubt—would point to him being dull. Vapid and concerned only with the state of his own affairs. It is not an altogether wrong conclusion. He places his own, their wellbeing, and the safety of his dreamers above all else. Oftentimes even himself. 
You have taught him, century by century, value in a different types of games. The tantalising, heated games of fleeting, charged stares and transient touches that leave even one such as himself… wanting.
Desire would be delighted by his blatant liability. However, it doesn’t feel much like weakness right now, following your figure several paces behind. You speak no words, heave no sighs—this is a game, and a thousand years have made you quite adept. Perhaps those early days by Desire’s side taught you much—too much—and if it weren’t for the devotion unmatched, for all those trials passed, Morpheus might find it discomforting. Even suspicious, for his sibling has meddled plenty in the past. 
“Wanderer.”
The castle is shadowed at an hour this late, with muted sounds of slumber and rest. Time passes here but does not match that of the waking world precisely. Right now, his creations rest. He senses each one, restful and at peace under his protection. 
Only one remains, he thinks wryly, eyeing you intently, drinking in the slopes and the lines of your figure. Restless and light-feeted, you push ahead steadily as the waves that lap the shores of the Dreaming, a dark coat sweeping over your figure with each step taken. Quiet pleasure reverberates through his chest at the vision. His creation. His…
“Wanderer.”
The title rumbles deeper from his chest, his fingers curling at his sides. Two weeks, walking other realms and meeting other creatures, all but absent from here. You greeted him earlier with a light peck to his cheek—there and gone in a blink, and now an entire day has stretched by and…
“Is something wrong, Lord Morpheus?”
Your words are light and impishly innocent, and Morpheus warps from one step to another, cutting distance through raw matter making up the Dreaming. What Morpheus so painstakingly moulded by hand and will so long ago, it’s hard to remember what or who he was back then. Before you.  
His arm settles around your waist, loose but unyielding, halting you both in a sweep of causal power that leaves you shuddering in his embrace. 
“Lord Morpheus?” he echos, quietly displeased. “Since when?”
You don’t turn or shift in his hold, and this steely patience might as well be his older brother, Destiny, for it is equally impressive and... frustrating. The silent corridor is barren apart from you and him, and Morpheus tightens his hold marginally, sensing the steady warmth from your body seeping into his own. His head lowers, breathing deep, his mouth settling lightly on your shoulder. 
“I missed you, Dream,” you say quietly, and his breathing slows, listening attentively. “I always miss you. Each second I’m away.”
You spin in his hold unhurriedly, his head lifting from your shoulder. He leans his head closer be face to face with you. Your breath fans his lips, warm and sweet, and Morpheus’ fingers sink a little deeper, a little more greedy and intent. Your mouth ghosts over his chin, your nose skims his cheek, and his eyelids flutter close. 
Patience. It’s about patience, and Morpheus is old; he has it in abundance. He knows this game.
Your words are a loving murmur, “Would you kiss me, Dream?”
“If I kissed you,” he rasps. “I do not think I’d be able to stop, stardust.”
For you are a great many things, but his self-control is tested by your mere presence. And why should he deny himself lips sweeter or more loving than yours? The love he senses in your smiles and touch alone are enough to mangle him. After so long, this. 
A velvety, lingering kiss brands the corner of his mouth. Hot, loving, piercing and all-consuming. The simplicity of it is devastating, precious. 
“I don’t want you to stop,” you breathe. 
He drags them to the side, to the shadows that chase at their heels as the Dreaming ripples, and your quiet laugh is caught in your throat, hands clinging to his shoulders and coat, body-to-body. 
“You lose,” you whisper in a sing-song voice, victorious. 
And it suits you, that victory, that glow, and for that happiness, he can bow his head. Alone, for the only one he truly needs. When it is you and him, he can afford it. 
“For you?” he breathes, grasping your face, his thumb swiping across your bottom lip. “Every time.”
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spacecowboyhotch · 1 month
Text
Not Enough
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summary: you try to talk to Marc about your connection— he’s not ready.
prompt: rainy day
pairing: gn!reader x marc spector (the tiniest bit of jake at the end)
contents: angst, requited love but wrong timing, longing, pining, crying, low self-esteem (both parties), ptsd if you squint, no happy ending
wc: 1,023
an: i know it’s Valentine’s Day, but this is just kinda where i am rn. this is pretty vulnerable and sad so just a heads up. disclaimer: as a mod/organizer of @moonknight-events, my participance in this event is purely for promotion and i will NOT be entered into the drawing for any prize.
moonknight masterlist | SP BINGO 2024
Marc has never considered himself dramatic. And he certainly has never considered himself a romantic. He hates the heavy rain, hates the way that water pelting down on his skin makes him feel so tiny. So small. Like he’s just a helpless boy again.
So why is he running through mud and greenery in hopes of finding you in this soon-to-be thunderstorm storm?
This is not the time, not the place, and you’re not the person he should be getting involved with. Marc stopped pretending he didn’t want you a long time ago, but that hasn’t encouraged him to make a move. You deserve better. He deserves to have his shit figured out before pulling you into the tornado that is his life— the life he feels like is sometimes not his own, the one he shares with an ancient bird. He’s out here looking for you to keep you safe, not to tell you how he truly feels. Not to finish the conversation you’d practically cornered him into. Not to be honest. He had abandoned honesty the moment his mother turned on him.
Khonshu’s latest target has brought you all here. Somewhere in the grassy wilderness, rolling hills dotted with small ponds that are tucked between towering forests. It's beautiful, or at least it would be if you all weren’t here to kill someone. If you weren’t overstimulated, stomping (and occasionally tripping) through the muddy forest trying to put as much space between you and the man you’ve accidentally fallen in love with.
At this rate, you’re soaked to the bone, and your clothes are sticking uncomfortably to your skin. But, as you peer up through the trees letting the rain hit your face, it feels like it’s washing everything away. It feels like for just a moment, you get to sit in anonymity. After attempting to be so vulnerable with Marc back at the cabin, it's exactly what you need.
You’re just a small being in an expansive forest and it feels good. You have no desires, no words, no feelings. It’s just you and the rain. You stop walking, focusing on the cold raindrops, teeth chatterng. Cold as it is…it feels like a temporary peace.
Peace that is quickly taken away when you hear Marc’s voice echoing through the trees, calling out your name. You start walking again, though this time your feet have less force and more speed. You don't want him to catch up with you, you're not ready to be seen again just yet, not even at face value.
As you continue to trot forward, Marc’s voice waxes and wanes behind you. Sometimes it’s softer, allowing you to relax but then it grows louder and your heartbeat picks up along with your pace. You know that he’ll catch you, whether he uses his abilities or not. But you’ll outrun him as long as you can, the same way he’s outrunning his feelings for you.
It isn’t long before you end up in a clearing. You’re more out of breath than you would like to be, but in all your training you hadn’t prepared to run through your tears. You’d take physical pain over the gnawing feeling in your chest any day, unfortunately, you don’t have a choice.
This is your reality. With words so sobering echoing in your mind you finally stop, hunching over to slow your breathing. You hear his footsteps behind you over the rain and for a long time, neither of you says anything.
Marc breaks the silence. “I’m sorry. I don’t…I don't know why I can’t be honest with you.”
You stay quiet, stay turned away from him because even in this heavy rain he’d be able to recognize the renewed tears that stream down your face harder than before.
“That’s not true,” He murmurs, to himself, to you after the silence grows on too long. “I know why but I can’t— I’m not ready yet.”
You still aren't talking, practically frozen in place under the sheets of rain. He shivers again, trying to block out the discomfort, the tightness in his chest. This isn't about him. For the first time in a long time, he’s sacrificing his safety for someone else’s. It's still not enough…no not yet. He’s not sure when it will be.
With a deep breath, you turn towards him and for a moment Marc thinks that the two of you will get somewhere, that there will be some understanding. That fades when you don’t meet his eye and walk right past him without a word. Before it’s too late, he reaches out, catching your hand in his own.
It stings, a temporary warmth with the promise of nothing.
“I won’t ask you to wait for me,” He says, squeezing your hand gently.
You know that it's meant to be a comfort, but it simply makes your heart ache more. How he could look at you with such regret and still break your heart, it's cruelty at a level you want no one to experience. Because you know that even as he says those words and offers his comfort, even as he lets you off the hook, that you’ll wait for him.
You’ll be subject to this torment as long as you can look into his eyes. As long as you can remember his name, and be by his side, you’ll love Marc. It’s never been a choice for you. If it was…you aren’t sure you’d be able to make the right one for you anyway.
You pull your hand out of his, raising your chin high as you pointlessly wipe away the tears that stain your cheeks— they simply reappear.
“I’ll see you back at the back at the cabin,” You whisper with finality, turning a way that is distinctly the opposite direction, hand tucked into your pocket to fetch your compass.
Marc lets you go. The piece of him that longs to reach out to you is too small, too weak. It has no claim. Helpless once more. It feels like someone else starts to take the steps back towards the forest. He can’t find the strength to care or be afraid.
moonknight taglist: @ninebluehearts, @rmoonstoner, @later-gators12, @foreverinwanderlustt-blog, @aleeb, @eyelessfaces, @marc-spectorr, @missdictatorme, @toracainz, @mccn-bcys, @campingwiththecharmings, @whatthefishh
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princessbunnib · 1 year
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Adulture
Levi Ackerman |Attack On Titan|
Summary: Breaking the rules isn't so bad when the person you're breaking said rules with is just as shameless about it like you are.
Pairing: Levi Ackerman X Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ Smut MDNI, Switch Reader, Switch Levi, Marital Infidelity, High Tension, Little To No Talking, Sex In Livingroom, Sex On Table, Sex On Floor, Missionary, CowGirl, PullOut Method, Oral |F| Receiving, Sex Standing Up, Unhappy Marriage, Negative Talk About Having Children, Nipple Play, Slight Choking, Intense Intamcy.
Author's Note:
The build-up is long for this one but I assure you that it is definitely worth it.♡
I always snap when I write for Levi, idk why but I literally get so creative when it comes to him. Anyways enjoy Bunni's.
PT2 IN THE WORKS
____
"Y/n! what're you looking at? Hello? Am I not speaking to you!?" Your husband yelled at you while you were scrolling on your phone at the dinner table. The both of you were set out to go on a double date with his co-worker and his wife. You weren't enthusiastic about going, spending a longer amount time with your husband makes your skin crawl every time.
"Stop fucking yelling at me, I hear you but I'm busy right now. Am I not on the phone!?" You snapped back at him. "Oh? Busy? With what... making another nail appointment since all you do is spend money and sit around?"
"Oh please. It's not like I'm spending yours, remember that I have my own will you? There's no point in getting upset when your pockets are perfectly fine." You said and got up from the table, slamming your phone on the glass surface while making your way down the hall to the bathroom.
You've been unhappy in your marriage for as long as you could remember. It wasn't made on the sense of love. Just a legal arrangement to make more money as a unit. You married him at a young age. Early twenties to be exact. Now that you're halfway through the ages that would make 'your prime' you were tired of seeing his face everyday and needed a change of scenery. He didn't love you, both of you spent most time at eachothers throats. Arguing until one of you stormed out of the house before things got too heated.
He wanted you to do more for him when you felt that you were doing just enough. For one, he wanted children. He wanted you to retire as a buisness women and just be his pregnant wife for the rest of the marriage. You didn't want to be a mother. You saw how parenthood forced people apart and knew that you didn't want that for yourself.
Children were a commitment you're not willing to sign up for. You already signed up for marriage. Only difference was for marriage, you could sign some papers- go to court and be done with the legal relationship with the other person. But if you had children? You'd forever have that burden following you around. The memory of birth burned into you mind, making it impossible for you to forget that you're even a parent in the first place.
You didn't want to have someone else to take care of. Spending money on yourself and yourself only was perfectly fine with you. Oh- do you want to get your hair done? Just make an appointment. Did you want an at home message? Hire somebody to come over and take care of it for you. You'd rather spend money on what you loved instead of diapers formula and 'back to school' supplies.
Not only all of those factors. You valued peace and quiet. When you have children every ounce of quiet goes down the drain. Who cares about those blood sucking snot nose brats. There are many other people in the world who loves and wants those things. The population wouldn't crumble to bits just because one women doesn't want to be a mother.
While you were in the bathroom fixing your makeup your husband walked in and stood in the doorway. Glaring at you and rolling his eyes. "Let's go already, Levi and his wife are probably at the restaurant already. They've also been planning on a baby so why not get in good with her. Hopefully she could talk some sense into you."
"Oh yeah? I'll pass... I told you I didn't even want to do this anyway. I'll play nice with her but I won't kiss her ass just because. She's not going to be a little friend of mine." You scoffed with an obvious eye roll.
"Tsk. I know she won't. All your friends have to be men... like to have your options open huh?" He said before walking off.
Who cares what he thinks. You can't wait to get those divorce papers on Wednesday. That would make the perfect birthday gift now wouldn't it.
"Happy birthday honey, I want a divorce!♡"
____
Levi didn't think his co-worker was the best guy in the office. Y/h/n was a jerk. Not to him of course but to the other people around him. He was also a big flirt for someone who wears a ring and makes it a point that he's married. He coincidently hits on the new comers, the least they knew about him the better of a target they'd be for 'workplace fun.' He was a loud mouth bastard who overcompincated to be liked. His attempts to be charasismatic always come on as a facade.
He's gained an opinion over Y/h/n just by being observant. The most you stay silent around people, the quicker they'll think they can be comfortable around you and let their slip hang. Because of this, it was easier for him to find out the dirt on everyone. Just because a man leaves the house with a clean suit on dose not mean that he doesn't get his hands dirty.
"Levi! Come on, we have to go. You said that Y/h/n and his wife are already at the restaurant right?"
He was in his office seated at his desk when Yuki walked in with her hands busy as she put in her pearl earing that had fell off for the third time. "Why are you always in here? It's so dark too." She questioned while flicking the light switch and walking over to his desk, making her way behind it and turning Levi's chair so he could face her. "Doesn't everyone enjoy peace and quiet sometimes?" He simply said desiring to keep the conversation short.
"Well yeah but you didn't hear me calling you? Anyways come on. We should go, ugh you just look so handsome." She smiled as he stood up, he laid a kiss on her cheek before walking passed her. "You look nice too, the purple really compliments your skin." He stated and held his hand out for her to grab.
They both walked out of his office and made their way outside. Levi held the door open for her like usual and waited for her to be seated so he could close the door and enter the driver's side.
He felt a cloud of looming dread follow him around. He wasn't sure where it was coming from or why he was even feeling that way in the first place. His marriage with Yuki was average. There were rarely any fights and even an even less amount of conversation. He was the problem. Levi has always had a hard time keeping himself open to others instead of acting as if he was the only person on earth. He liked being alone but that all changed once he found himself proposing to Yuki. And now with them trying for a child, he thinks this is the way his life will be from now on.
At first he didn't think he'd make a good father. He had no idea what the definition of a 'good father' was anyways. His childhood was rough. So how would he know every way to not fuck up the childhood of a newborn. Yuki was a good women. Always egging him on to be better, telling him that he wouldn't be alone in parenting and they'd both do a good job. Even with her words of uplifting, he still had doubts. Parenthood can't be for him, he's too broken to even look into the eyes of a child and feel any desire or love to have one of his own.
When he was in the moment of proposing to Yuki he didn't have a guess of what the future would hold. If anything the fear didn't set in until he was finally standing at the alter. Everyone staring at him as she poured her heart out to him. The audience filled with her family, not even a crumb of his own in sight. He was scared of saying those two words. Before he could even fully decide, he agreed. Maybe marriage wouldn't be too bad and maybe this feeling of regret would slip away.
To his demise it never did. And now that he's been married for almost ten years... he is just a dead man walking.
"So what's his wife like?" Yuki asked as she glanced at him, waiting for an answer.
"Who's wife- oh... right." He trailed off but quickly remembered who she was talking about.
"Are you okay honey? You seem like you're out of it tonight. Should we call and cancel?"
"No I'm fine. Just a bit tired is all, work was tiring. And you know I don't sleep much so... it just goes hand in hand." He deflected, coming up with a quick lie and shrugged off his response.
"Oh alright... did you hear my question atleast? I asked what is Y/h/n's wife like."
"Y/n? I'm not sure. He doesn't talk about her much other than what her name is. I don't know her that much if that's what you're asking."
"I see... a man who doesn't talk about his wife at all is a complete jack ass then."
"Yeah... that's his middle name alright. I hope he doesn't drink too much, the guy can barley hold a stapler without losing an eye. When alcohol is in the mix he's almost no good at anything."
"If you know so much about him that makes him seem insufferable to be around then why do you tolerate him? Don't you think going on this date would be stressful as is?"
"Yeah... you have a point but- actually I don't even know why I'm doing this. I would've said no if I wasn't thinking it instead of actually speaking it. To be frank it be better off reading a book at home right now."
"It's only a few hours Levi, I've seen you hold a conversation with my mother and she is the most insufferable person I know. You got this tonight, I'm sure it won't be that bad either. Surely he can't be a piece of work when his wife is around, she has to balance him out some way right?"
"I guess."
____
You were sitting at the bar when Y/h/n walked up to you with two people behind him. The strangers were holding hands so that told you that they were the couple your double date was to begin with. You grabbed your drink from the bartender and turned around in your seat. Flinging your leg over the other as the slit of your dress opened to reveal more of your smooth freshly waxed legs that you spent an hour doing just for tonight. Luckily you moisturized just enough so you wouldn't be itching all night.
You for sure felt cold. But with alcohol so close to being in your system, you'd surely warm up faster. "Y/n this is Levi and his wife Yuki." Y/h/n said as he put on a fake smile towards you. You mentally rolled your eyes and got out of the stool chair. Levi quickly coming towards you with a hand to help you down so you wouldn't fall.
You weren't aware of who was helping you as you grabbed the soft but rough hand and focused on making sure your dress didn't get ruined by your heel. You looked up finally and nearly dropped your glass. Levi Ackerman... you've definitely heard of him, not only has Y/h/n mentioned him many times, you've also saw that many everyday objects have 'Ackerman' written somewhere on it.
You kept eye contact with him short and sweet, taking your hand from his and smiling at the both of them. His wife was gorgeous, the prettiest eyes you've ever seen. They were a bright green. Plump lips that were dabbed with a little blush red color that matched her cheeks. A full set of crystal clear teeth. Long lashes that seemed to be natural with a slight flare of mascara.
You were slightly more interested in her for a breif second until you realized that you probably should start talking right now.
"Hi! I'm Yuki- uhm I mean you already know my name but still hello!" She nervously smiled and held your free hand with both of hers. Looking at you with a gleam of admiration as if she's been dying to meet you her whole life. You smiled back at her and set your glass down. "It's wonderful to meet you, wow- you're so gorgeous..." You said halfway losing your train of thought.
She laughed lightly and brought her hand up to her mouth to not come off as too 'teethy' she then held onto Levi's arm and glanced at him. "Thank you! This is Levi- he's not much of a talker but I assure you he is nice too."
You broke eye contact with her and looked at him. His glare was peircing into your eyes as you tried to break away from his gaze to continue eyeing his wife but you couldn't. His skin was so pretty, blemish free and flushed with red at the cheeks and very tip of his nose. His lips soft and well taken care of. Eyebrows just the right amount of thickness and cleanliness. His dark eyes dilated once he raised his head just a bit to have a clear look at you. A smirk formed on his face, he quickly changed it to a smile as he most likely forgotten where he was at right now.
Strands of his hair were in his sight of vision hiding the view of where his eyes were traking to, leaving your husband and his wife utterly oblivious to his greedful gaze.
This moment seemed to last forever for him. He hadn't seen you at all in person but your name was burned into his memory. If he had known that Y/h/n had a wife like this by his side, he would've showed up to every single dinner party he invited him to just to steal a look of you.
There wasn't particular parts of your appearance that he could point out to consider above all attractive, he was staring at all of you. Your intrigued expression kept him hooked onto you. You were caught off guard by the extra people walking up to you. He wondered why the hell did your husband think this was the perfect time to ambush you with guests. By the looks of your drink, you weren't planning on being so friendly tonight either.
"Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/h/n has spoken so much about you." He lied with a smile and a gentle low nod to you out of respect.
Shit. Why were they both attractive? Are they swingers? Was this just some ploy to get you to swing with them? You wouldn't decline if it was. You didn't know which one you wanted more. Her, or Him... although Levi had a problem with his eyes being on you the whole introduction. Even when your husband brought the conversation to him, Levi was still staring.
In high fashion, his eyes made you worry about your appearance. Was your hair okay? What about your makeup? Did you have something on your teeth and that was why he was staring at you?
The four of you eventually made it to the table after minutes of pointless idol chit chat. You sat next to your husband, across from Levi while Yuki sat across from yours. He had his arm around Yuki's shoulders while she held his hand with hers. Their body language was something you craved. The most touch you and your husband were participating in was a simple knee touch under the table.
Your hands were clasped together in your lap under the table. Fingers twiddling with eachother as you payed as best of attention to the conversation as you could. You were mentally absent, it didn't take Levi not even ten seconds to figure out.
Guessing by the body language you and Y/h/n were presenting. You two didn't have any ounce of physical love for eachother. No wonder why when you'd pretend to fix your hair, your eyes would land on his when you thought he wasn't paying attention to you.
The funny thing was that you were the only thing he could focus on. The only time he broke a gaze was when Yuki would boast about their relationship and want him to look at her. He even went out of his way to steal a few kisses from her to make her claims of their love legit.
You coughed into your arm as you watched Levi's head turn. His jawline was so potent and sharp. The perfect slimness to still be seen but not be too much. His hair was freshly cut too, a crispy undercut. You glanced at Yuki, her hand lifting to hold Levi's shoulder as she kissed him softly. They giggled with eachother and whispered sweet nothings inbetween aswel. You needed a drink. Bad. The strongest drink you could ever have too. You glanced at the bar and noticed that you left your cup over there from earlier.
Shit. Would it be bad if you slipped away right now to get it? Hopefully Levi and Yuki won't think that you're leaving because their public affection was making you sick.
You glanced at your husband. He was busy looking at the menu rather than paying attention. With the conversation dwindling away he eventually put his attention somewhere else. You turned your body to step out of your seat but stopped and stared much more intently at Yuki. She kissed Levi for one last time before breaking her lips from his to ask him for something. He nodded, his veiny hand lifting to kiss her ring finger softly. "Sure. Give me a moment." He stated softly to her which made her bite her lip gently and run her finger through the back of his hair.
Your mouth was watering now. Not only you desired the taste of alcohol on your tongue, you also wondered how good she felt to know that she had the right to run her fingers through his undercut at any point. Dammit, get it together. Stop staring at them like this. You look like a pervert.
Yuki's eyes glanced at you once Levi turned around to get up from his seat. You stood up quickly and froze for a moment. She smiled at you while mouthing 'sorry' apologizing for her and Levi being 'too close' thinking maybe it was awkward for you to see. You nervously laughed and nodded at her then proceeded to walk away.
Your body told her that you were already on your way to get up so she didn't think much of you and Levi heading in the same direction. She then moved her hair out of her eyes and opened the menu to see what to order.
____
That was close. You almost lost it back there. Your glass from earlier was gone because the bartender cleaned it up which meant you had to order another one. What did you have again? You didn't even know. You ordered that drink so randomly that you didn't care to memorize the name so you could order it again if you liked it.
As you leaned on the counter a man walked up next to you, a stool was in the middle of of the both of you for space. You glanced over and it was sure enough Levi. He saw you and made a double take. Wondering why you were even up here. Before he could say anything stupid he realized that you were waiting at the bar. Clearly you were up here for a drink like everyone else.
"Hello again. Are you going to order first?" He asked with a concerned tone. The bartender was staring at both of you, their hands on the table as they waited for direction. "Who me? Oh no no I'm fine. I don't know what to get." You shrugged.
Who me? Yes- of course you. He's only staring at you right now. Who else was he talking to? A fucking fly on the table? Dammit your mind is foggy right now. You can't think straight and it's his and his wifes' faults.
Levi then ordered for himself. You didn't hear him considering you weren't paying much attention again. You watched the bartender bring up three glasses from under the table and line them in order. "Three rounds of Shōchū, third round done heavy coming right up." The bartender said.
"Third round heavy? Who's that for." You asked. He chuckled and turned his whole body towards you, leaning on the counter just like you and speaking up. "It's for you. I can see a stressed out person who needs a drink from a mile away. I'm the same way, guessing by your hands right now. You're extra nervous." He said.
Yeah no shit man. It's because you and your wife are very sexy together and apart.
"Really me? No I'm fine. Honest!" You laughed him off but he didn't budge. "It's fine. You don't have to lie. The drink is on me. In fact-" He turned to the bartender briefly. "Make the first just as strong as the third, thanks." He said clearly then turned to you once more.
"You keep saying that so your brain will believe it, yes? You don't have to do that with me. I get it. Public spaces make me feel on edge too." He shrugged still trying to get his point across.
You sighed and glanced at the table where you were sitting. Both yours and Levi's partner busy with eachother in conversation. You then glanced at him and sat in the bar stool chair, making sure to not fall thus making a fool out of yourself. The drinks Levi ordered were done and was slid over to him, he held the first cup and slid the third to you as he sat down in the chair next to you.
"I've never tried Shōchū, I'm more of a Sake person or I'll just drink beer- although that's rare of me because it's hell trying to find the best beer vender." You said while staring at the brown liquid in the glass, unsure if you should take the gulp.
"I don't even drink that much. I have black tea mostly. I only ordered myself a shot because you look like you need a drinking buddy- Yuki usually gets this." He shrugged and held the small glass out to you for a cheers.
"Yeah... you don't look like a drinker either." You said as your eyes glanced at his fingers, ignoring the golden band on his ring digit out of reflex. Such strong hands... Jesus... what a man he is...
"Oh? So you've been thinking about what I look like? Didn't think I'd be in your mind that quickly." He smirked while lifting a brow. Fucking tease. What is he smirking so many times for? You brushed off his statement and clashed your glass against his. Then cocked your head back and gulped the strong shot in less than a minute.
He drank his shot along with you and felt the sting of alcohol touch the back of his jaw. He winced along with you and felt his lips burn with numbness. His mouth watering as the taste was stronger than expected. He coughed a bit into his arm and cleared his throat. Glancing up at you to see that you were licking your lips, feeling the liquid on your bottom lip and taking the buzz with pride.
"That's so strong- I can't even fathom the taste..." You mumbled lowly but felt your nerves settle as your stomach burned with warmth that spread through your arms and legs, bursting out of your finger tips. Oddly enough the buzz transform inbetween your legs. Great- you forgot dark liquor arouses you over time depending on how much you drank. Your eyes met with Levi's as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and crumbled the tissue up. You stared at his lips for a moment, then at his hands. This time staring at his ring.
He noticed your eyes and trailed down to your clevage that was on full display in your dress. His lips pressing together and hand lifting to hide his growing smirk that was followed with a pleased 'Damn...' your finger traced the rim of the glass and brought attention to your hand. He saw your ring and memorized every detail in it. Your name was engraved in the silver band. He remembered his and set his glass down to tug at his own ring, making it seem like he was rearranging the tight fit but in reality. He wanted to take it off.
"Refils please?" You said to the bartender. Glancing at your cup along with Levi's. They gladly obliged and gave you two the same refill with the exact amount of strong dosage.
You then lifted your cup to his and smiled at him, uncrossing your legs and bringing your right one over the other instead. This movement brought attention to your soft thighs until you cleared your throat. "Cheers." You simply said which made him mindlessly bring his cup to yours. The small clink of glass was a nice sound you were familiar with hearing. Both of you took shots and quickly enjoyed the sting together. You were disgusted by it at first but now that you were relaxed, it didn't feel as bad.
You stared at his throat as he took the last gulp. His adams apple was strong and perfect. A deep sigh left your lips as you slammed your cup down, sliding it to the bartender needing another shot. Your brain was fuzzy with thoughts you should be ashamed to have. This moment was pleasing in many ways, not only you had Levi's attention on you and nothing else. You got to check him out in peace without being careful to not gaze too hard. You glanced at the table again and saw that Yuki was gone. Most likely at the bathroom.
"What did you cheers to?" He asked while clearing his throat again. "To luck. In hopes that both of us get really lucky tonight." You said keeping your meaning vague and hopping out of the chair.
He watched you as you walked off heading to the table again. Your hips swaying side to side, bringing attention to your body. He pulled on his tie thinking it was too tight and coughed lowly. Was it getting hot in here or was he just working up a sweat.
Get lucky? What did you mean by that? And why did he want to find out, badly.
____
It was hard for you or Levi to focus on the double date by now. You were over sitting here acting as if you didn't want to tearl him apart and rip his clothes off. You didn't care about anything else, just him and the burning pleasure blooming behind your clitorus. Your thighs squeezed together as you sighed and poked at your food. Enjoying what you had ordered but not going out of your way to eat it. You wanted something else in your mouth rather than this meal.
You watched Levi as he sipped his wine and licked the excess away. Bringing his fork up to his mouth and taking a bite of his steak. Yuki was closely knit by him, her fork making it's way onto his plate and taking a nice cut. She smiled at him and took the bite, he used his napkin to wipe his mouth but dropped it. He didn't want to be the customer that left a mess for the staff to clean up when he was able to clean it himself. He then ducked under the table and looked around to grab the white ball of tissue.
Just when he was about to reach out. You uncrossed your legs, revealing that you were wearing royale blue panties. He stared for a second longer then froze once you extended your leg out to brush up against his under the table. You brought your foot up and down his leg two times to make your pass more obvious to him. He then brought his head up from under the table and groaned while clearing his throat again. He put on a fake yawn and tossed his napkin on the table. Seeing you take a bite of your food and make a statement to your husband to tell him how you enjoyed your meal. Acting as if you didn't just make a risky pass at him.
Yuki then set her fork down and opened the menu again. Her eyes staring at the dessert section of the book. "Oohh Levi we should take some desert! What would you like?" She asked with a smile.
"Thank you for the date... you're such a good man~♡"
Levi heard you mumbled praises to your husband along with Yuki's question. He didn't want to answer her because he was too busy on hanging on every word you said. He turned his body to Yuki and placed his arm on the back of her chair. His eyes glaring at you though as you turned Y/h/n to face you, initiating a makeout session with him, sloppily kissing him and gasping into his mouth. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he caressed your arm, humming a response and chuckling at your sudden act of affection.
What was this feeling Levi was experiencing? Was it. Jealousy? Why? He can't feel jealous, you're married. Wait- HE'S married. And his wife is sitting right next to him. Why is he more focused on you than anything else. And how did you know? Your eyes opened as you stared right at him, giving him a look out the corner of your eye and stopping the kiss to smirk, allowing your husband to make kisses on your neck.
"Levi? Do you want carrot cake? That's your favorite still right?" Yuki asked making a suggestion. "Hm? Oh yeah- sure carrot cake... you know Yuki I'm exhausted... I think I'm going to call it in for the night." He said while fully looking at her.
She nodded in understanding and flagged the waiter that walked by. Asking him to get them dessert for to go and turned back to Levi. She remembered when he told her that he was tired earlier, he must need to lay down now then. "You know tonight was really nice. It was a pleasure to meet you two and Y/n! We should get to know eachother outside of this little meet up. You seem to be very sweet. Levi's tired and I'm almost getting there along with him." She said while placing her hand on his chest and caressing the back of his neck.
"Oh? Leaving so soon? You know what Y/h/n, we should go too... I have a long day tomorrow now that I think about it."
"Shit yeah- it's late. I have a meeting to hold tomorrow aswel."
Perfect timing. Now Levi could get a breather, he couldn't be in this restaurant anymore. Especially not with you eye fucking him from across the table while having a smile on your face.
____
When you got home Y/h/n was still lagging behind at the door. You kicked your heels off and unzipped your dress while looking in the mirror on the wall and uncliped your bra. A deep sigh leaving your lips as he rolled his eyes, stuffing his phone in his pocket and spoke up. "I got to go to the office, they need me to do some paperwork I dunno how long I'll be." Your interest was peaked, another night where he'd be somewhere else? Leaving you to be in your own bed?
"Can't you say no?" You said with an annoyed tone. "If I could I wouldn't even have told you, what do you care? You want me to stay here so we can argue? I'll pass." He said with a scoff.
"Whatever, just go if you're going to have a stick up your ass." You crossed your arms and placed your bodyweight on your left leg.
"I have that pain because of you."
"Well atleast one of us is having some company." You mumbled to yourself.
He didn't have time for your attitude so he left quickly and slammed the door behind him. You rolled your eyes and walked up to the window, watching him get into his car and pull off since the car was still on. Good ridense, the less you have to see him. The better.
You followed his car with your eyes. Making sure he was gone for sure. If he was going to pull back in it would've been right away. He was gone though, you were finally alone and knew it would be the same thing like every other night. You then grabbed your heels from the floor and walked upstairs, holding onto the railing tightly to successfully make your way to your room. That was until you heard a loud knock on the door. You turned around, dropping your shoes and heading back down.
You didn't even look out the window to see who it was. You opened the door and there stood Levi, his suit still on but tie ruined as he was struggling to take it off. He stood in your doorway, heavily breathing and staring into your eyes. His car was outside, he drove here that quickly? Whatever. Who cares about the logistics of the situation.
He stepped into the house without asking. You backed up, waiting for him to be inside so you could close the door. Once the door was closed you turned around again but this time was grabbed and pinned to it. Levi groaned and held your wrists over your head while tightly squeezing your jaw to turn your head so your neck was exposed. You whimpered at his assertiveness and started to yank at his suit jacket.
He allowed you to undress him, your dress was lazily on your body since you already unzipped it. Although he could have took it off correctly, his mind was making things hard for him to comprehend. He needed you and didn't care how hard he had to work for it. So he ripped off your dress and tore it from your body, leaving you in just your panties he saw earlier in the night. You pulled his tie, popping the buttons to his shirt and watching it fall off of him as there was nothing keeping it together.
Both of you managed to take things to the couch. He allowed you to push him down and get onto his lap, straddling him while you undid his belt while biting down on your lip and tossed the name brand piece of leather somewhere in the room. His eyes were glued to your bare chest, he quickly thought next and wrapped his dominant arm around your waist. Bringing his lips to your nipple and sucking on it intently while groaning, his tongue flicking up and down, side to side and in circles. He grunted loudly and used both hands to hold your breasts, bringing them together and flick his tongue inbetween them. Letting out a prideful moan and feeling your hips buck onto his lap as you held the arm of the couch.
You whimpered loudly and pushed his head down for him to stop. He allowed you to be rough as you got off of his lap, grabbing his hands to make him stand up. He groaned and held your jaw, bringing your eyes up to his and crashed his lips into yours while plopping down on the couch with you right alongside him to get his pants off. He watched you as you hurried up to get him undressed. Your fingers slipping passed the waistband of his breifs, your eyes looking at him hoping he'd allow you to go further. He nodded and moved his hips forward, a tent was forming by now. He wanted you to see what you did to him.
He needed you to see every inch of his body. This whole night was intense, he couldn't hold it back anymore. He needed you more than he wanted to and he had no regrets about what he was going to do. All he could think about was you.
You brought down his breifs as he raised his hips off the couch, planting his feet into the floor and watching your intrigued expression as his erection swung up hitting him in the stomach. You held his thighs and licked your lips, feeling the desire to have him in your mouth. This is much better than what you had at the restaurant. You held his inches in your hand and planted a kiss on him, he moaned lowly and held your hair in his hand so he could keep full eye contact with your lips as you showered his cock in wet prideful kisses.
You continued on for a moment until he grew bored and wanted the real thing. He lifted your head up with force, yanking your hair and making eye contact with you. Holding his erection in his hand at the base, slowly stroking himself while you nodded to him. Biting your lip and brought him into a makeout session while simotainiosly pulling your panties down from your hips. You straddled him once more, his hand holding your hip and inching down to give your ass a harsh slap. You moaned with a smile, wrapping your left hand around his neck and using your right to align him with your entrance.
He groaned while pushing his hips forward, his pulsating tip stretching you apart with every inch he slid inside of you. You moaned and nodded again, holding back words knowing they would be filled with lust. He threw his head back and slammed down your hips so you'd take him in completely. Both of you chocked on words and stayed still, attempting to fathom the act of becoming one. You moaned and grabbed his hands with yours. He watched you while carefully keeping his hips still. He stared at your hands as they held his. Your ring was on the same hand as his. He broke the hold with you for a moment and tugged at his ring like he did earlier in the night.
This time not ashamed to take it off instead of pretending like he was 'fixing the hold' of it. He tossed his ring on the coffee table, leaning forward but wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you from falling. You held his broad shoulders, staring at him the same way you were all night and wrapped your arm around his neck. He looked up at you, making vivid eye contact and biting his lip.
"Take it off." He simply stated and stood up, his hands scooped under your knees with a tight hold as he changed his footing to prepare himself for how he'd do this. You nodded with no questions and pulled your ring off aswel, tossing it to the floor rather than the coffee table. You looked over to the floor, seeing that the impact broke your diamond making your ring fall in two pieces. Levi then grunted and began to bounce you up and down his shaft, his hips thrusting forward in a steady rhythm to bring moans out of you. You whimpered while wrapping your other arm around his neck, throwing your head back and nodding.
You let out moans faster than you'd like to. Your fingers locking together on the back of his neck as he groaned with low moans while staring down at his hips as they slammed into yours, your clit brushing against his pelvis feeling his pubic hair brush up against you just right. Making you moan again and cry out loudly.
"Fhuuckkk MeeEee~"
Your words egged him on as you tightened around him. Your walls sucking on his shaft and squeezing pre-cum out of his tip. His hips thrusting faster now fucking the liquid up against your cervix. He threw his head back, becoming more loud with his sounds of pleasure and egged you on with his words. He sounded like he was taunting you rather than encouraging you. You didn't care what he meant, his voice was so sexy. You couldn't stop wanting him to be louder. "Uh-huh... aghhfuckkk~ take me all the way in that pretty pussy. You love it don't you? Yeah?" He questioned with his ego taking more control over him. You nodded and clenched around him again. "Yess yes! Huhhhh~ ughh yess! Right there- L-l-l-leeevvv-vii~♡"
He nodded and groaned loudly. His legs were giving out already, he then stopped and changed places to bring you down onto the coffee table and held your waist in his hands while you made sure to keep your legs open wide. You moaned while rolling your eyes back and held onto your ankles, now biting your lip and bringing your gaze back to him. He lifted his head up to stare down at you while letting out sloppy moans and random sentences. You smiled up to him, using your elbows to prop yourself up to stare closely at him and rest your legs on his shoulders. He then leaned into you, pressing his forehead on yours and staring much more intently at you to keep the eye contact. Your moans forcing his hips to penetrate you deeper and much more close to the back of your urethra.
"You're so tight- god dammit- and so fucking wet... aghhh thaaank youuu~♡" He whimpered uncontrollably while unable to break eye contact with you. You held the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair and of course feeling the stubble of his fresh undercut. Funny how you were thirsting over the simple thought of how it must've felt and here you are hours later experiencing it for yourself.
Your clit wouldn't stop throbbing. You felt too good. With the liquor still roaming in your system and him penetrating closely to your g-spot quicker than your husband ever could. You definitely felt words that you shouldn't say festering deep within you. You threw your head back to break eye contact, knowing that you couldn't keep this up. Those eyes... those same eyes from earlier that he used to examine every part of your face and truly see into you, not just what was outside but what was inside too. You didn't want him to look inside you, you knew that you were definitely a piece of work on the inside.
How much of a good person could you truly be? You were committing the worst crime a person could ever commit. Adultery... in which a person who is married goes against the contract of marriage and has sexual activities with another that wasn't the one they were wedded with.
You moaned again as you tried to stop thinking about the future of your choice. You didn't care but deep down knew that you should. Levi then slowed down his thrusts, yanking your hips off the coffee table and bending you halfway. Keeping your legs on his shoulder and lowly groaning while giving you deep, slow, sensual, and Intimate thrusting strokes. He had found your g-spot and didn't stop stimulating it. He wasn't thrusting into it, more so brushing up against it with the curvature of his shaft and using his tip to dig inwards. Stimulating your body in ways you didn't know possible.
Your nipples and clitorous began to tingle in unison. You couldn't deal with this pleasure but your body wanted more of it. Your blood was warming up and heartbeat was racing. As your clit tingled your legs extended out while still on his shoulder, making him chuckle as he grabbed them and pinned them to the table. Scooping his hands under your knees once more like before and picking up speed just a bit, you were moaning but you also were trying to hide how good you were feeling. Purposely placing your hands on your mouth to muffle your sounds as your eyebrows furrowed and eyes were little to closed.
"Say my name. Fucking moan my name Y/n." He demanded with a groan.
You denied him and shook your head in disagreement. You couldn't moan his name again, if you let out anything else you knew exactly what would come after. You can't... don't say anything to him... don't look into his eyes- don't moan his name- Don't Give In.
He threw his head back and groaned. Using his right hand to apply pressure to your stomach and continuing to stroke your g-spot but with a much more consistant steady speed. He knew for sure that his deep strokes from earlier would make you scream, but you're too busy acting like you can't. "Say my fucking name. Say it... what's my name? Tell me?" He repeatedly said with a light tone instead of demanding you. His hips rolling into circles to message your deepest hard to reach areas. You began to cry, he watched your eyes well up with tears as he thrusted. A smirk on his face by now taking pride in himself. "Say my name. Go on, say it... who's so deep inside you that you're on the verge of sobbing out of stimulation? Don't you feel it?-" He then pressed into your stomach more than once. "I'm so deep inside you that you can feel me in your stomach. I'm not stopping until you tell me what my name is baby."
You finally moved your hands from your mouth and allowed your tears to fall. Where was he all those years ago when you were about to get married? Why show up now when you could've been the one who was his wife. You could've had his last name instead. You wanted to be his wife, you wanted to be his everything. Your emotions were making this much more important for you. You needed him. You needed him... you needed-
"Levi! Levi!Levi!Levi!Leviiii! Leviiii! I Need Youuu Leviiii!~"
Tears rushed out of your eyes as you couldn't think anymore. Letting go of the guilt and remorse you held onto from a few moments prior. You felt your orgasm creeping around the corner. You knew it would be a big wave of arousal, you couldn't fight it. You wanted him to make you come. You were going to come weather you wanted to or not.
A few more strokes to your g-spot had your mouth open agape. You were about to let out another shameless moan until he brought his hips back and slipped out of you. A groan and slippery popping sound filling the room. Before you could react to him with annoyance that he stopped, you felt his tongue swipe on your clit.
You stared down at him and saw his head resting inbetween your thighs as his tongue did all the work and flicked back and forth. Making slippery licks on the sensitive bundle of nerves that felt like it was going to explode. You moaned again, both of your hands on the back of his head as you forced more of your clit into his mouth. Head thrown back and hips raising from the table out of reflex. Your toes curled as he lapped up his tongue on every inch of you instead of just your clit alone. He sloppily licked and sucked on your entrance, using his fingers to spread you apart and keep you exposed so he could devour every part.
"Hmmlsshhhhh sshhoo wheehhttghh~ anthh hwtheett~" He spoke into you while bringing his eyes up to yours, glaring up at you while you cried out his name again and pulled his hair in your hands.
("Hmmlsshhhhh so wet~ and sweet~")
"I'm coming- I think? Ughh I don't know anymore... thaannkk youuu~♡"
With those words Levi then proceeded to lift his head from your thighs and brought his tongue out to lick his lips until he stared at your expression. Needing to have his lips on yours no matter what. He called out your name which made you look at him with a dazed expression. He held your face and brought his lips onto yours, forcing you to taste yourself and in fact confirm that you were sweet. You moaned into his mouth while placing your hand on his chest. Other hand wrapping around his neck again to bring him closer.
The kiss broke eventually and there the both of you were. Out of breath, sweaty, utterly turned on, and almost at the edge of orgasm. "I need you." You whimpered, holding his face with your right hand hand and caressing the apple of his cheek with your thumb. "I need you too... I wanted to fuck you ever since we started talking at the bar."
"I wanted to fuck you since the first time I laid eyes on you... you turn me on so much Levi~" You encouraged and brought both arms around his neck to keep him close. He kissed your neck on the same spot your husband did. For some reason his lips felt much better, his canines dragging across your skin as he wanted to bite you and leave a hickey but knew that would be risky.
You moaned and felt the back of his neck again, whimpering his name and begging softly into his ear.
Your words encouraged him to take you off of the coffee table and onto the floor. He laid on his back while having you on top of him. Your arms still hugged around his neck while he aligned himself back up to your dripping used entrance that was pulsating and clenching around nothing as you desired to be stuffed again.
"Look at me. Just like that baby. Rock your hips for me- aghh fuck- Nghhhh... j-just like- thaaatt~"
You leaned upwards and placed your left hand on his knee for support while your right one was placed on his chest. You moaned loudly while throwing your head back and bouncing yourself up and down his shaft while allowing your entrance to meet at the base of his cock. This time he moaned and whimpered for you to keep going. His head thrown back as he tried to keep his eyes open so he could focus on your perfect body. Your breasts were his favorite part of you. He couldn't take his eyes off of them even if he tried to stare at the bulge in your stomach as you rode him. He softly whined but covered his mouth. Trying to hold onto his composure until you grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the floor on both sides of his head. You made eye contact with him while rotating your hips in circles and nodded down to him while placing your fingers in his mouth, encouraging him to suck them.
You bounced your hips up and raised them all the way until his tip was inside, then swirled your hips in a circle before sliding back down and grinding your hips in various ways. Levi groaned and sucked your fingers, he felt ashamed by doing this but the greedfull smirk you gave while looking down at him felt- rewarding?
"Ughhh-hhhhaahhhff~ s-st-stop~♡" He gasped with a whimper while feeling a pleasured tingle in his balls.
"You feel so good inside me~♡ don't you love how tight I am... speak up for me Levi~"
His ego wouldn't allow him to be submissive towards you. But he was already drunk off of you. Tasting you early in the way he did and managing to get you to moan his name made him proud. He desired you the more he watched you ride him.
"Fffuck m-mee... please- f-fuck me..." He begged while getting out of your hold and snatched your hands up into his. The two of you made eye contact once more. Low soft moans left your lips as your hips came to a stop, giving him the opportunity to thrust into you while letting your hands go and placing his hand around your throat, gently squeezing while you nodded and leaned upwards once more. This time throwing your head back and bucking your hips back and forth, in a circle and clenching yourself around him.
"I'm closeee~ haaaahh~"
"Mhm... I want you to come on my dick... can you do that? Please come on my fucking dick baby~" He whimpered uncontrollably and squeezed his hand tighter. You held his wrist gently and nodded, letting out small moans.
The eye contact you two kept was intense. Not only you were feeling it, he was too. All he could think about was you. Just seeing you and feeling your insides was all he wanteded this whole day. He knew from the moment he laid his eyes on you that he would risk everything going for him just to have atleast one night with you. He didn't care about his marriage or the life he'd have after, according to him this was heaven.
You moaned again but this time stopped your hips. You moaned softly while leaning down to him, holding his face with you right hand and having your other hand pressed on the floor. Both of you paused for a moment, his arms wrapped around your waist while you bit your lip and laid a soft kiss on his lips. You were an amazing kisser, he could taste your juices along with the strong alcohol you had earlier in the night. He kissed you again, this time pulling your bottom lip in his teeth and tilting his head to the side for better leverage. You ran your fingers through his hair tugging lightly and feeling his stubble.
You broke the kiss for air and held the side of his face once more. He pressed his forehead onto yours to continue eye contact and soon leaned up while having his arms around you. "I don't care about anything else but you right now." He lowly spoke to you in your ear and held your ass in his hands. Bouncing you up and down and groaned. You put your hands on the floor for support while he picked up the pace, thrusting faster into you with force and moaning loudly. "Yeah? Mhm... you make me feel so fucking good... I'm going to come soon-"
"Good... keep looking at me until you come- your eyes are so beautiful. I can't look away from them. I don't want to look away."
Levi glanced over his shoulder at your ring. It was broken from when he told you to take it off, he groaned in annoyance as he thought about how your husband treated you all night. He didn't even look at you or talk about you once. You clearly were being neglected in your marriage with him and it pissed him off to know that a women like you wasn't being taken care of.
That feeling of jealousy tried to resurface but then he remembered that he was the one inside of you right now. Making you moan his name and feel good all throughout your body. Y/h/n didn't deserve you, he did. You shouldn't have to be drinking everytime when in public with him to get through the night. You also shouldn't be in the arms of another because he wasn't doing his job as your husband.
Yuki didn't cross his mind at all. He glanced at his own ring but felt nothing towards it. If anything he was relieved to not have that charm of regret on his body. He wasn't thinking about the future, just you and him. How good you felt around him and how you had your hands on his chest, nails slightly digging into his skin as you softly whimpered. "Leviiii~ I'm so close~"
You turned his head so he could face you, finding his lack of eye contact a bit annoying. He brought you back down to the floor and wrapped your legs around his waist, now deeply stroking your g-spot like before and groaning loudly while staring into your eyes again. He buried his face into your neck and moaned your name while rutting his hips into you knowing that he'd finally come. Your legs locked him in place, back arching and head throwing back as you moaned his name for the last time.
He grabbed your hands and squeezed them again. His knuckles turning blush red as the pleasure running through his body was overflowing. "I love you! I'm coming! AghhFUCK-"
Woah. You hope he knew that you wouldn't be saying that back. Although it did make you feel good to hear him say it. Along with the fact that he said it first.
He continued to tell you those words like a broken record while his thrusts became sloppy and undone. You moaned for the last time as a knot formed in your stomach and exploded faster than you could take your next breath. That same warmth rushing through your body like before and bursting out of your finger tips. You cried out his name once more before wrapping both arms around his neck to keep the closesness.
Levi groaned and pulled out of you, his cock bursting with come and instantly covering your stomach. The cold air engulfing his sensitive, dwindling erection draining and slowly while also becoming soft. Heavily breathing until you looked up at him. You allowed him to bring you into his arms and hold your face, sloppily kissing you while you came down from your high, whimpering into his mouth and taking your legs off of his waist.
____
You and Levi didn't depart ways just yet. Instead the two of you laid together on the couch while you had the faux fur throw blanket over the both of you. His arm was around you while you rested your head on his chest, playing with his left hand hearing his calm heartbeat in the process.
"So what now?" He said breaking the silence and glancing down at you.
"I don't know. That was- something..." You leaned upwards and watched him as he grabbed his ring from the coffee table. Staring at it with a look of disgust and sliding it back on his finger. "Guess it's back to reality then. Look- let's keep this between us alright?-"
"Yeah of course. What? Did you think I was going to tell Y/h/n the second I saw him? He doesn't have to know." You dryly said then got off the couch, using the blanket to cover yourself up while Levi grabbed a throw pillow to place on his lap. He watched you in awe as you grabbed your ring, sliding it on your finger and picking up the diamond as it broke earlier.
"Shit. I'll have to get this fixed." You said with an annoyed tone.
The silence was starting to become unbearable. 'Back To Reality' he says... it's easy for him to say when there's actually love and physical attention present in his marriage. Reality set in that Levi didn't truly belong to you. Instead he was Yuki's husband. Just seeing them sitting across from you was heartwrenching, it made you jealous on many levels. You wanted to experience love while being married. You hadn't felt that in a long time and the lack of affection was making you bitter and cold.
Both of you were already married to other people and this little rendezvous was over. Sex with him was actually amazing. But you wouldn't tell him that at all. You just wanted to be in his arms forever, but you can't... because He's Not Yours.
You looked at Levi as he was face-palming by now, pinching the bridge of his nose in stress and glancing up at you. "I called in a favor at work so he'd be out of the picture tonight. I didn't want things to end without me seeing you... especially after what you did at the end of dinner, all night... I couldn't just shake you off you know." He stared at the floor once you turned around to try eye contact with him. He didn't know what he was saying or why he was even saying it.
"All that just to have sex with me? Don't you think you doing that would be suspicious if this ever got out? And what about your wife. If I was her I'd be up at any hour to see you walk through the door." You shrugged and wrapped your body up with the blanket.
"Why won't you divorce him? Aside from what we did- it's clear that you aren't happy with him. He's a jackass, I saw it the whole night... you were eyeing Yuki and I everytime we'd share a kiss or anything remotely intimate." He called you out because he had to know why on earth would you settle. It angered him slightly to know that you put up with him.
"I don't know. Levi you should go, he could come back and your car is outside still. It's time we get back to reality remember?" You deflected while watching him fiddle with his ring again.
"I want to see you again." He asked, his voice softening with his words.
"We're married. We can't see eachother openly, don't go falling in love with me now. This is a one time thing."
God damn you were in denial. You knew this wasn't going to be a one time thing. You craved the level of intamcy Levi provided for you. Why won't you admit it already. "I'm not falling in love with you. But you know that this won't be a one time thing. I should go now... I have work, I also hope that tomorrow is one of those days that you choose to show up and remind everyone that Y/h/n is married. Certain people seem to need a reminder."
You didn't say anything as he grabbed his clothes and quickly got dressed. He sighed heavily and stepped into his shoes while looking back at you. He was about to say something but you weren't looking at him to notice. You were too busy having a mental fight with yourself. Stop being so dry and atleast hug him before he leaves- you do want to smell his cologne... and second thought... he smelled amazing the whole night.
You then walked up to him and placed your hands on his shoulders. He wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted a brow, wondering what you were going to do or say. You landed a kiss on his lips, holding his jaw and turning your head to the side. Your tongue slipping into his mouth slightly before he turned towards you aswel and leaned back onto the wall. His hands attaching onto your waist, tempted to take the throw blanket off of your body.
Your hands slid down to his chest again. You pushed him away from you so you could breathe and also gain composure again. Levi pressed his lips together feeling the desire to kiss you again and not stop. He bit his lip slightly and chuckled while running his fingers through his hair, remembering that he had to go. "Goodnight to you too Y/n..."
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pippytmi · 26 days
Text
kacy + a break-up AU based on this prompt list: "you’re my emergency contact and i’ve been in an accident so you drop everything to come to the hospital"
———————————————————————
The thing no one says about breakups is that they're an utter inconvenience.
Kate tries to rationalize it; she was dating Lucy Tara for twelve months and thirteen days, it's only natural to have established a routine that will take some time to unlearn. So when she wakes up and reaches for a warm body that isn't there, it still takes a while to remember why. And when she makes her morning coffee, maybe sometimes she will pour the creamer that Lucy likes by accident. (By the end of the week, she will have to pour the whole container down the drain). That’s normal too. Mostly.
Lucy’s absence hits the most in the morning, but Kate goes through the motions anyway. Before Lucy she would always take her coffee outside and sit on the balcony to watch the sunrise, so she still does it. Of course now there’s no Lucy wrapped up in a blanket and insistently making her way onto Kate’s lap to sleep while she does it, but. Kate sips from her mug and watches the clouds roll in over the gloomy horizon and pretends nothing has changed.
The drive to work is quiet save for the gentle patter of rain against her windows. Her radio is still set to the station Lucy likes, and Kate hasn’t managed to change it. Baby steps—that’s all it takes. Maybe tomorrow Kate might have the courage to switch it back to her own.
And when everything at home is too loud and simultaneously too empty, there’s work. Kate gets to her desk and finds a mountain of files with new assignments, and she welcomes them with open arms; her work has always been separate from Lucy, and it's the one constant she doesn't need to readjust to.
For a blissful hour and a half, Kate is in her own world. She argues with a client about what confidentiality means (and what it doesn't). She reschedules the deposition of a plaintiff on a particularly high-profile case because opposing counsel has accidentally double-booked. She creates an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of her new cases but organizes the clients by market value. 
By all accounts, her morning is shaping up considerably. That is, until her cell phone starts buzzing.
She ignores the first call from the unknown number flashing on the screen. Instead, she gets coffee from the awful machine in the break room. The second call comes thirty minutes later, and Kate ignores it again, spends her time politely explaining how to use the fax machine to her confused new paralegal.
When her phone rings a third time—just as Kate has gotten out of a grueling meeting with the senior attorneys which should've been an email—she answers it solely for peace of mind: “This is Kate.”
There's a brief shuffle on the other end. “Hi, I'm calling from St. Joseph Hospital for a Katherine Whistler?”
“Speaking,” Kate says curtly, prepared to give a spiel about how she won't donate at this time when the caller continues,
“Oh—good morning.” More shuffling. “Is this a good time? I have a sensitive matter to discuss.”
Kate frowns even if the person on the other line can't see it. “Yes, it's fine,” she says, and watches as her work phone lights up with another call that she will just have to return later. 
“I'm calling on behalf of a patient: Lucy Tara. She has you listed as her emergency contact. She is unresponsive and we were wondering if you could come in to discuss the particulars of her care…”
The rest of the call is static. Kate almost drops her phone entirely, only grasping onto select words like they're a lifeline. Lucy is alive. Lucy is hurt. Lucy was found unconscious. Lucy has yet to wake up. Lucy is alive.
Kate doesn't even tell anyone she's leaving; she just goes. Later, senior attorney Michael Curtis will tell Kate that she looked extremely pale and sickly when rushing out of the office, but Kate will only remember a vague blur from that phone call to actually arriving at the hospital. It might be the most reckless thing she’s ever done, come to think of it.
Dr. Carla Chase is the physician assigned to Lucy’s care, and she takes one look at Kate and blinks as if surprised to see her. “Forget an umbrella?”
“I'm sorry?” Kate says, heart caught dangerously high in her throat. She's literally choking on worry—Dr. Chase’s words don't sink in until she takes a step forward and realizes she is currently dripping all over the linoleum floor.
Dr. Chase gives her a small, sympathetic smile. “Let me ease your mind,” she says. “Ms. Tara woke up. Our timeline is good, she was not unconscious for long. Has a concussion and a nasty bump, but she's going to be just fine.”
Kate breathes. “Oh,” she says shakily, and embarrassingly, hot tears spring to her eyes at the confirmation. “That's…great. Thank you.”
“You can come inside, see her. I'll go find you a towel.” Even though Kate is a sopping mess, Dr. Chase still pauses to place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze reassuringly.
Even with the worst over, the hardest part is still walking into the room—harder still is watching as Lucy looks up with those wide, curious eyes that become expressionless the instant she sees Kate.
“Kate? What are you doing here?” Lucy asks, voice not quite harsh but definitely not welcoming.
Kate opens her mouth, but is unable to form words. She's too stuck just staring at Lucy: at the bruise that colors the entirety of the swell of her cheek, at the large bandage over her jaw, at the purpling of her black eye. Any relief at knowing that Lucy is awake sinks into horror at the state of Lucy’s injuries.
“Kate,” Lucy repeats, frowning. “Why do you look like someone died?” A beat. “And why are you wet?”
“The—the hospital called me,” Kate manages. “Are you okay? How are you…how are you feeling?”
“I'm fine. I just fell down a stupid mountain.” Lucy smooths down her blanket, twisting the corner between her fingertips the way she does when she's uncomfortable.
“A mountain?”
“It's not as dramatic as it sounds,” Lucy says. “Kai and I were searching for a missing kid and we got separated, and with the rain it was muddy and foggy and…well, you get it.”
“And he left you there? Unconscious?” Kate has met Kai Holman once or twice, and knows very little about him except that just like Lucy, he volunteers for search and rescue missions to escape his normal job. Beyond that, Kate’s opinion of him is quickly going downhill.
“He wasn't there when it happened,” Lucy argues. “I already texted him and explained, but, I told him he didn't have to come see me or anything.” She stops. “So why did you come?”
“Because the hospital called,” Kate says again, which is pretty self-explanatory.
Apparently, Lucy does not feel the same way. “But you didn't have to answer the phone,” she points out. “We’re not together. You could've just said ‘sorry, she’s my ex’ and called it a day.”
Kate stiffens. “You're the one who has me as your emergency contact. It was the…decent thing to do,” she says.
Lucy rolls her eyes. “Okay, congratulations,” she says, “you have done your civic duty of not being an asshole. But I’m alright, so you can go back to deep-sea diving in your pantsuit or whatever you were up to before this.”
“Hold on,” Kate says, a flare of panic overtaking any objection she might have to Lucy’s disdain (which is completely unwarranted, by the way). “How are you getting home?”
“They’ve invented a modern miracle called an Uber, not sure if you heard.” Lucy waves her phone exaggeratedly. “I’ll survive.”
It's an out, and Kate should take it. She should walk out that door and never look back, let all the unsaid issues between them continue to morph and mutate into something ugly and irreversible. But she can’t. 
“I’ll drive you home,” Kate says at last.
Lucy immediately shakes her head. “That’s not necessary,” she says. “Seriously. If you’re that against Ubers, I can call Kai and get him here in two seconds. He’d be more than happy to take me home.”
“That would be unnecessary. I’m already here.”
“And you don’t have to be,” Lucy reiterates, staring Kate down like she expects her to cave.
If it were any other situation, Kate would. She's soaked head to toe from the rain, she has no obligation to be here, and by all accounts either reason would be a rational excuse to extradite herself from this hospital. Especially the former—the chill of her wet clothes is finally beginning to catch up to her, and she blindly brushes back her damp hair while resisting the urge to shiver. It would be the rational decision to go home and change into warm clothes (and explain to her boss why she left without as much as a text explaining why).
But for once in her life, Kate isn't being rational. “I'm not leaving,” she says, crossing her arms in an attempt to look firm. 
Lucy sighs, sagging backwards against her pillow. “Come on, Kate,” she says. “This is awkward enough. I don't need a babysitter after one tiny little fall.”
“Down a mountain,” Kate says, unable to let that fact go. “What do your parents think about this?”
“I…might've not told them. Exactly.” Lucy bites her lip in an obvious effort not to wince. “I asked for the day off when I woke up, so.”
Kate blinks. “You woke up after a traumatic fall,” she says slowly, “and…asked your parents for PTO.”
“I wouldn't call it traumatic. That's such an ugly word. Limiting, even,” Lucy says. “It would've been a total badass move if it hadn't been, you know, raining.”
A knock against the wall announces Dr. Chase’s arrival, who has thankfully brought Kate that towel. “How are we doing?” she asks.
“Ready to get out of here,” Lucy says, sitting up eagerly. “Whenever you say so, doc.”
“Well, I really would recommend a CT scan to be on the safe side,” Dr. Chase says. “But given that you've passed all our cognitive tests and your vision is good, I can consider a discharge…as long as you have someone at home to monitor you today and make sure no further symptoms arise. And no sleeping until your normal bedtime.”
“I’ll be with her,” Kate interjects as she towels off her hair. Lucy looks like she might argue, but her desire to leave must win out, because she doesn't speak up.
“Fantastic. Let me get your discharge paperwork and a prescription for some painkillers—all over the counter. Then we're going to have a serious discussion about what you should and should not do, okay?”
“Got it. Thanks, Dr. Chase,” Lucy says cheerfully, but the instant the doctor leaves, so does her smile. “What was that? You obviously can't stay with me.”
“I know,” Kate says defensively, even if—for a second—she had been completely prepared to. “I'm sure Ernie or Jane can monitor your symptoms just fine.”
“...yeah,” Lucy agrees slowly, as if she had been expecting Kate to argue. Then, “Oh, shit. I actually forgot to tell Jane I'm here.” She frantically opens her phone and starts texting up a flurry, her brow crinkling as she concentrates on her screen, and Kate is brought back to movie nights spent scouring Wikipedia articles and faux-arguing over date night picks and it's…too much.
This is the opposite of unlearning; this is an all too painful reminder that Lucy Tara is no longer in her life. Kate wrings the damp towel between her hands and takes a deep breath to save face. At the very least, Lucy doesn't seem to have caught on to Kate’s internal turmoil, because when she looks up again all the cheerfulness from before is back.
Kate knows in that instant she never wants Lucy to lose that cheer again. “Everything okay?” she asks, aiming for just-polite-enough interest, and Lucy is gracious enough to allow it.
“They found the missing girl,” Lucy says, sagging backwards in obvious relief. “Thank God.” When she smiles, even if it’s down at her phone, Kate nearly tears up all over again.
“That’s great.” Kate clears her throat, places her hands in her (wet) pockets, and tries very hard to act casual. “So is Jane going to stay with you, then?”
“No—she’s the one who found the kid, she has to stay and give the police a statement,” Lucy mutters, biting her lip distractedly as she types out another message. “I’ll see what Ernie’s up to.”
By the time Dr. Chase comes back with discharge paperwork and a spiel about avoiding screens (during which Lucy noticeably peeks at Kate, like she might rat her out), Kate has already resolved herself to zero interference. Obviously it’s not what she wants, but she listens to Dr. Chase and nods along at all the right times while in her head she is already drafting a very long message to Ernie with all the relevant information. Then she drives Lucy home to that bleak apartment that Lucy lives in mostly as a general “fuck you” to her parents, which Kate swears is either haunted or infested by very spirited roaches.
The entire ride there, Lucy doesn’t say anything about the car’s radio being set to her favorite station (and which  Kate would always complain about), which is just as well. Kate isn’t sure how she would’ve explained it.
“This not sleeping thing sucks, I’m honestly dead tired with our without a concussion,” Lucy groans as she exits the vehicle, stretching her arms overhead.
Kate follows her outside, and when Lucy gives her a questioning look, she says, “Ernie’s not here yet, is he? I can at least wait with you until he does.”
“I’m sure I can survive thirty minutes alone, Kate,” Lucy says. “I won’t pass out the instant you walk away or anything.”
“I’d really rather wait,” Kate says, and Lucy sighs.
“Fine. God, I would’ve changed my emergency contact ASAP if I’d known you would be such a stickler for lame hospital rules.” Lucy wraps herself up in a  large black hoodie which Kate recognizes as her own, still muddy from the fall but otherwise intact.
“Why did you?” Kate finds herself asking, mouth three steps ahead of her head, and Lucy pauses outside her apartment door.
“You mean why didn’t I change it? Because I forgot, I wasn’t exactly expecting to land in the hospital.”
“No, why…why did you make me your emergency contact in the first place?” Kate clarifies, her voice strangely quiet even to her own ears.
Lucy methodically unlocks her door, but her hands falter. “Just because,” she says at last. “You know how it is. Anything was better than my parents. Sorry I didn’t…ask you first.”
“Well, I mean,” Kate shrugs, “I didn’t ask you either.”
At that, Lucy whirls around, mouth agape. “You made me your emergency contact?”
Kate hesitates. “Yes? After like six months. It was a practical decision, we spent pretty much all our time together and I assumed…”
Somehow, she’s said the wrong thing, because Lucy’s eyes darken. “Right.” She moves away, digging through her fridge in search of something to drink, and Kate awkwardly leans against the kitchen counter and tries to make sense of what’s going on.
“Did you eat anything today?” Kate attempts to change the subject. “I can make you something before Ernie gets here.”
Lucy takes a gulp of a water bottle and doesn’t respond, just eyes Kate from across the kitchen with a sharp, unyielding glare. Finally, the words seem to burst out: “I wish you weren’t so—fucking—” She shakes her head. “Do you even know how you sound, sometimes? No girl wants to hear that they’re the practical choice. Just once, I wish you’ve would picked me because you wanted me.”
Kate feels her entire body prickle, partly in shock and partly in indignation. “What are you talking about? I did pick you.”
“Did you?” Lucy tilts her head. “”Cause it kind of feels like you picked the idea of me. At least, that’s how Cara tells it.”
“Seriously? Cara? She—” Kate pauses to exhale, swallows back a frustrated sob. “She’s wrong. I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you. Fuck, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” This time, her voice quivers like the sob might escape, and some of the steel in Lucy’s gaze softens.
“Then why did you leave?”
“I thought that was what you wanted,” Kate says. “You were pushing me away, Lucy. What was I supposed to think?”
“You should’ve fought harder for me,” Lucy says. “You could have talked to me. Jesus, Kate, I don’t—I can’t have this conversation right now. I’m basically a prisoner in my house, this is the last thing I need.”
Kate’s shoulders fall. “I know,” she says. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t do that either,” Lucy snaps, and she chugs the remainder of her water before she stalks out of the room. “No apologies. Okay?”
“Okay.” Kate waits to see if Lucy will come back to the kitchen, but she doesn’t. Instead, she hears the tell-tale sound of Lucy banging around through her board game drawer, because the chess set Ernie gave her rattles and gives it away. Kate tentatively enters the living room, finds Lucy sorting through a Monopoly box, but doesn’t try to say anything else.
Lucy breaks the silence all on her own, eventually. “I have nothing to cook,” she says. “But I asked Ernie to bring food with him.”
“Alright.” Kate doesn’t sit down because her clothes are still damp, but she does wait by the couch. “Can I help with anything?”
“No.” Lucy is sitting cross-legged on the floor and carefully stacking Monopoly money into piles by color, her muddy hoodie occasionally smearing against the carpet. “I’m fine.” She obviously isn’t; her jaw is clenched, her back stiff, her entire demeanor still a perfect mirror of her anger.
Kate wisely doesn’t push. And when Ernie arrives carrying Thai food and a thick stack of books which Lucy is outwardly horrified at, Kate doesn’t try to stay.
“I’m going to send you the doctor’s discharge instructions,” she tells Ernie instead, as Lucy gingerly pokes through one of the books Ernie has handed off. “Make sure Lucy eats something before she takes her meds.”
“On it, Dr. Whistler,” Ernie says seriously, his voice going low so Lucy can’t hear afterward. “And thanks, for being there. Even if you two aren’t…”
Kate casts one final look at Lucy Tara, bundled up in her clothes and adorably pouting at the prospect of reading all night instead of playing board games, and feels her heart beat so hard it hurts. “Take care of her,” she says, but it’s not a request.
Ernie gives her a small, sad smile. “I will.” 
Lucy doesn’t say goodbye, but she does spare Kate one brief, sorrowful once-over like she wants to. Kate memorizes that look—lets it linger in the back of her mind—and doesn’t cry until the first cheery pop song from Lucy’s favorite station starts playing on the drive home.
She hits the button to turn off the radio altogether, but her finger slips and she accidentally switches stations instead. Kate eases the car to a stop at a red light, watches as rain begins to drizzle once more, and then she makes the executive decision to switch it back.
Baby steps.
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atticsandwich · 8 months
Text
more than they can say
pairing: mephistopheles / gn!mc
established relationship (with mephisto), implied poly!mc, mostly fluff [+ slightly suggestive themes (nothing explicit nor descriptive), with a touch of angst at the end]
seeing your skin decorated with the sigils of seven of the most powerful demons in the Devildom instills a bubbling array of emotions within him, and he finally gives in to fully showing his commitment for you.
[set in the OG timeline, pre-nightbringer]
a/n: a part of this mentions how many years it has been since the start of the exchange program, it's a rough estimate, so if you think i'm wrong pls just ignore it lol
btw, my requests are still open!
--
Mephistopheles' office in the newspaper club room is a quiet respite from the chaotic hallways of RAD, and usually he'd keep the peace for himself, too engrossed in his own work to care about Levi's yelling at Mammon to return his wallet, or the shriek of terror when Raphael rains down spears when he gets pissed. You hold a special exception, however, and use that privilege as often as you can, casually barging in during lunchtime - to annoy him again, as he would accuse - but never with any bite as to actually deter you from coming.
Despite stepping down from being club president some time ago, he's still very much active in the club, as shown by the multiple drafts and article proposals strewn across his desk. You'll often read some of them for him, and most of the time he'll roll his eyes, take the proposal from your hands, and crumple it before tossing it to the bin - his standards are high, as always.
It wasn't always like this though; you and Mephisto had a rough start on your... friendship, and it really wasn't until you became a member of the student council that he started warming up to you, before inevitably falling for your human charms, as Asmo would call it. Initially he took that phrase literally and seriously thought you cursed him with some infatuation spell, and it took Diavolo laughing at his face to realize that yeah, he was kinda stupid for thinking that - Satan's words, not his. You followed him when he stormed off the student council room that day, and you remember the flush of his cheeks when you confronted him at the gardens, how you implanted in your memory the very first time you felt his lips on yours, his hands desperately holding onto you as if the moment he'd let go, you'd run off elsewhere.
Mephisto is a prideful demon - proud of his status, his strength, his influence, his family; he takes great care in cultivating and maintaining his public image, only acting beyond what is needed during pressing matters. It's why he thinks the concept of pacts goes directly against his values, and for that reason, deems it sacrilege; maybe it's the thought of someone having complete dominion over you should they choose to act as such, or the thought of being bound to another until their souls gets harvested by the reapers - either way, he's never given it a passing thought, even when some high level witch or sorcerer called upon his name using some rudimentary summoning circle.
You asked him about it once, from before you established a relationship with him.
"Pacts? Let me tell you this ahead, human. Those brothers may have willingly given themselves to you, but do not view me the same way you do them."
You've never brought it up again, respecting his feelings on the matter.
"Hey," your thoughts come back to the present with sound of his voice. Turning to him, you cast a questioning glance.
"Yeah? Did something come up?"
"No, nothing like that," he rises from his table, piece of paper in hand. He hands it over to you, signalling you to read it. You eyes quickly scan through the paper, an article proposal of some sort.
"Hm?" you raise your brows in interest. "An interview about having pacts with the demon brothers?"
"Initially, I wanted to toss it aside, but considering that ever since the exchange program, more and more demons have been interested with pacts and such," he explains, although you sense hesitancy in his voice.
"So I assume this interview would be about me?" you inquire.
"Well, yes. Solomon does have a pact with one of the brothers, but I think the student body is more interested about the human who has pacts with all seven of them."
You pause, giving the idea some thought. On one hand, it could prove to be helpful in helping other students understand how pacts function, at least in your case. On the other hand, pacts in general seem to be a very touchy subject for some demons, having polarizing opinions across the board.
"Of course, you are in no obligation to accept. Don't feel like you have to do it," he assures, giving your head a little pat.
You shake your head, a decision already formed. "No, no. I'll do it. I think the pros outweigh the cons enough."
He quirks an eyebrow up, intrigued. "Well, if you're sure about it, then..." he pauses for a while, hesitant. "...I'll have your interview scheduled. I'll text you the details tonight."
--
It isn't long after you return home to the House of Lamentation that your D.D.D. lights up with Mephisto's name on the screen, a detailed text sent about the interview.
Friday, after class, newspaper club room. Interviewer: Mephistopheles
You send back a quick reply, thanking him for the information, although you have to wonder if he pulled some strings to be the one interviewing you. It'll be a more personal confrontation, so you wouldn't be surprised if the noble demon insisted he be the one to record everything, despite the proposal not being his in the first place. Regardless, you don't dwell on the thought for long, and go on with the rest of your day.
When Friday comes, Mephisto shoots you another text, reminding you about the interview. You assure him that you'll be there, although a bit later than expected as Lord Diavolo asked you to help you sort through some files in the student council room. He puts up no complaints and urges you to finish as fast as you can, to get this over with, as he says in the text.
--
"I've heard from Mephisto that you'll be interviewed today regarding your pacts?" Diavolo inquires while the two of you go through some documents. Barbatos is somewhere in the corner, arranging some more files for Lucifer to go through at a later time.
"Yeah, I thought it wouldn't hurt to do," you answer. "Plus, there's been a lot of interest lately regarding my relationship with the brothers lately, so I thought it'd be better to go for it now rather than have some random rumor go around."
"Hm, you do have a point," he takes a sip of tea from a cup right next to him, thoughts elsewhere rather than the stack of papers in front of him. "I must admit, even I'm curious about how you went through with it. I only know of Lucifer's since I asked."
"Nothing special, for the most part, really. Although funnily enough, Lucifer helped me out with Mammon's," you laughed, recalling the entire Goldie-in-the-freezer debacle.
"Hah, it sounds like a good story. I'll be looking forward to reading the interview!"
--
The newspaper club room is empty, save for a lone demon steeping a select brew of tea. The smell indicates that it's your favorite, and a smile graces your lips as you approach the demon from behind, careful not to alert him of your arrival. You feel him freeze for a second the moment you wrap your arms around him from his back, but he immediately relaxes once he realizes who the perpetrator is.
"You're late," he chastises, but there's no bite to his voice. You release him from your hug and approach his side, eager for the tea he's brewing. He catches on fairly quick.
"Go take a seat, I'll bring the tea over once it's done, then we can start the interview."
You hum in acknowledgment, shuffling your way to one of the room's lounge couches. It's rare that the club's main room is this quiet, as usually there's always someone else typing away at their keyboard, or cursing at the printer for not working. Mephisto follows not long after, placing the tea set at the table, pouring you a cup before he does for himself, and takes his seat on a chair in front of you. He stations a recorder in the middle, taking a notebook and flipping through its pages, landing on what you assume to be the pre-prepared questions.
"Whenever you're ready," you signal to him. Nodding his head, he clicks the record button on the recorder, clearing his throat to start.
The start of the interview goes without a hitch - Mephisto introduces himself and you, and he asks fairly simple questions to start. You answer all of them in stride as he jots down any important details in his notes. A little while later is when the heavier questions come in.
"Since you've joined the transfer program roughly three years ago, you've made your own mark on the Devildom. Among such achievements was gaining pacts with all seven avatars of sin. Can you tell us how you went about it?"
"Well," you pause, in thought. "My very first pact was with Mammon, who was assigned to take care of me when I first arrived. Truthfully, I gained his pact in more or less a bargain involving a credit card. It's a long story," you take another pause to laugh at the memory. "Next was Leviathan, who made a pact with me after I beat him in a TSL trivia contest."
You then recount how you made pacts with all the brothers as accurately as you could, refraining from going off topic, as much as you wanted to tell the story of how Satan and Lucifer switched bodies.
"Finally, Lucifer made a pact with me on the last day of the exchange program," you end with the eldest, softly reminiscing that night in his study. "It was... a night I would never forget."
"I see..." Mephisto doesn't miss the tone change of your voice when you say that, and it took all of his willpower to prevent his emotions from showing on his face - keep it professional, he chastises himself in his head, but the more stories you recount of how you got your pacts, each one just as significant as the last, the more emotions start to bubble in his gut. He swallows it all down, pretending to be unaffected, and proceeds with the interview.
"How very... insightful," you notice the slightest bit of bitterness in his voice, although you chalk it up to your hearing, unaware of the mental turmoil going through Mephisto's head. He breathes in, clearing his throat to compose himself.
"Was there any particular reason why you wanted to have pacts with them?"
"Hm..." another pause. You're aware you have to be careful on how you answer this, as the incident with Belphegor has never left the walls of the house.
"I was... trying to help a friend out, initially," you construct a reason while also trying to be truthful. "But eventually it went from that to my pacts being a symbol of who I am to them, and them to me."
"Could you elaborate further?" he presses.
"The brothers are important to me, and I to them. Having pacts with them means that even if we're realms apart, we are always connected. At least, that's how I view it," you smile softly. "I can't control how other humans use their pacts, but to me, it transcends having a demon on your beck and call. It's a two-way street grounded in communication and mutual understanding."
"I... I see."
The air is silent for a moment, the quiet ticking of the recorder being the only backdrop. You glance questioningly at Mephisto, who seemed to be deep in a daze.
"Mephisto?"
"Ah- Sorry," he composes himself, fixing his posture. "I got lost in thought for a second, I apologize."
"It's okay," you assure him. "Do you have anymore questions?"
"Y-Yes," he drifts his eyes back to his notebook. "Your... uh, pact marks, do you keep them visible?"
"Some of them are pretty easy to hide," you start pointing at different areas of your body. "But they're pretty easy to hide with magic. Solomon taught me how to."
"Is there... a specific reasoning for the placements?"
"For the most part, yes. Although... when I made my pact with Mammon, it was a bit haphazard, so we didn't really get to think it through."
The demon across you nods, his eyes fixed on yours. As if in a trance, you hold the gaze along.
"Last question."
He inhales.
"If... If another demon were to ask for a pact with you, how would you respond?"
"Well..." you start, formulating a thought. It's an odd question, and you can't help but think there was some underlying meaning to it. "...It depends. Unlike Solomon, I'd rather only have pacts with demons I... hold with personal importance."
He nods silently, although you don't miss the way his shoulders release from tension, almost in relief. He reaches over and clicks stop on the recorder, signifying the end of the interview.
"Thank you for your time. It was... an insightful interview," he stands up, patting his school coat down.
"Is there... something else you wanted, Mephisto?" you inquire, noticing the way he keeps glancing and looking away from you, sensing hesitancy in his person. He responds with a sharp inhale, walking over to stand in front of you, kneeling down to your level.
"Mephisto...?" flustered and confused, you allow him to take your hand, his temperature chilly. You can tell he's nervous about something.
"May I... May I see your pact marks?"
You didn't expect the question, and for a moment you stare at him in surprise. His eyes though, are transfixed to yours, sincere in his request.
"I... I don't mind, but may I ask why...?"
"It's simply... out of curiosity. I won't push you if you're uncomfortable with it."
"No, no, it's fine," you assure him again. Slowly, you start unbuttoning your school coat before he assists you in taking it off, folding it neatly to the side, all still while kneeling in front of you. You roll the sleeves of your inner shirt, unbuttoning the first few buttons, unsure if you should continue. You look at him, his face flustered, as he mumbles a soft "you don't need to take it all off." Laughing lightly, you take his hand, chanting the spell to undo the concealment of your pacts. One by one, they appear across your skin, as he glances upon each one as they show.
The marks span scattered across your entire body, from your arms, to your chest, to your back. Mephisto takes his finger and traces around them, being particular about not touching them. He furrows his brows when he comes across a prominent mark - Lucifer's, easy to tell with its commanding presence on your skin. You shudder when he encircles its perimeter, still careful not to actually touch any of it. He stops when he reaches your wrist, grasping it lightly with both of his hands, before bringing it to his face as he plants a kiss where your pulse is. If your face wasn't already red - your entire body is now, too.
"Mephisto...?" you whisper, yet his eyes still linger on the space where he planted a kiss.
"Would you... would you laugh at me if I asked you to make a pact with me?" his voice quivers, hesitant, yet clear. He raises his head to meet your eyes, and you chalk it up to your imagination when his looks fiercely verdant, even more so than usual.
You take your free hand, cupping his cheek. He leans into your touch, but his eyes don't waver, anticipating an answer.
"Why would I laugh?" you finally respond.
"I've told you before why I deemed pacts unnecessary... Yet, when you speak about yours, I can't help but long for a stronger connection with you. I fear it's... quite unbecoming of me to feel this way," he breathes out, as if he's been holding it in his entire life. Leaning forward, you kiss the space between his eyes, and he hums in gratuity.
"Mephisto..." his eyes return to you, as the grip on your hand becomes firmer.
"Would you like to make a pact with me?"
His response is wordless, taking your wrist he's been holding this entire time. Bringing it close to his face once again, he closes his eyes, as you feel the familiar surge of magic seep into you when a pact is formed.
"From now, until the end of our days," he whispers, setting your hand down. A new sigil on the wrist pulse where he kissed makes itself known to you, his fingers mindlessly tracing it like a familiar memory.
"I am yours," he finishes.
When you lean down to meet his lips in a desperate kiss, you feel him smile, and he tastes the tears that run down your face from his bold profession.
--
Mephisto is, as usual, at his desk in the newspaper club room. It's one of those nights that demanded his full attention, deadlines fast approaching, so he works overtime, going through and proofreading every article before gaining his final stamp of approval.
He stands up stretching, eager to take a break from his workload. Noticing the empty teapot on his table, he takes it to brew another batch of tea. He scans his options until he lands on a familiar brew - your favorite. Smiling to himself, he takes said brew, preparing to steep it to accompany him on the final leg of his work.
That is, until a sharp jolt passes through his chest, prompting him to drop the pot into countless pieces as he keels over in searing pain. It's unlike anything he's experienced before, almost as if something is being ripped off of him.
It's then that he finally notices.
Initially thinking of it as a trick of light, he hurriedly rips off his gloves, to where his pact mark with you was etched - on his wrist, the same space where he gave you his mark.
It's gone.
It's gone, and he can't feel you.
Scrambling to his feet, he races back to his desk, uncaring of the mess he's making, throwing the documents across the room to finally, finally get to his D.D.D.
Before he can even open the thing and dial for your contact, the screen lights up.
Lucifer's calling.
He's thankful that the hallways of RAD are completely empty at this hour, as the moment he hangs up on his call with the demon of pride, he lets out the most anguished, distressed scream the academy's walls will ever know, your name buried in echoes.
--
a/n: after rereading i realize the ending might imply you died, but no i promise it's just a cheeky little way to connect to your disappearance in nightbringer help
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jinlias · 11 months
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tally - rosé
— songwriter!, musician! rosé, paparazzi
i say fuck it when i feel it, cuz no one’s keeping tally i do what i want with who i like
rosé was exhausted, she hates this cycle. of sneaking around and hiding under dark clothes when you’re in public, of hiding her lockscreen and the polaroid on her phone case from appearing on photos or videos, she hated being unable to talk about you to everyone, she hated all of this, loathed it.
but she always kept you around, even if you had to ride with crew most of the time, for when she was away from you too long she would start to hear her own heartbeat more than she’d like. you were peace to her. rosé was exhausted, but mostly, she was furious.
and i ain’t gon conceal it, while you talking all that shit, i’ll be getting mine
it was a thing of time, that everyone started noticing the same feminine silhouette around her even when none of her crew was. fans kept up with her management team, everyone even knew her re-ocurring friend group, they just couldn’t pinpoint where u fell, yet, you were always there.
don’t apologize for my behavior, if you’re offended i don’t care.
she never fit in the usual korean mold, the delicate, educated and always quiet women she shared the industry with because they valued their dream career more than their own freedom. controversy is what made her stand out, it’s how she blew up, it’s expected no one was too surprised when she started a soft launch of your relationship. pictures of the two bowls of food, tangled hands, two shadows on a crosswalk, small, private, intimate photos like these easily gave away it was not just one of her friends.
sometimes i like to go play dirty, just like all of the fuckboys do, that’s my choice and there’s no one i’m hurting, when that’s not girly.
but rosé has always been open about her private life, she’s never hid behind dark clothes or hats, at least not until you. she was a weekly topic on social media, everyone took out the time to discuss her possible hook ups, like that was of important matter to anyone else.
that’s why everyone else was so observant now, because all of the sudden she stopped running out of models’ apartments at three am with tousled hair. instead, she was seen hiding behind her clothes and around a becoming familiar silhouette at restaurants, movie theaters, parks, at houses and parties of families who no one’s ever seen before, which was the ideal, but people would just not stop watching her. and you.
everybody tells me to play nice, everybody judge but looking twice, but my body don’t belong to none of them though, and i’m not going to change cuz you say so.
she was tired of playing nice, of laughing it off when men asked her about her love life, when the woman interviewer asked about any special boys in her life. she was tired of everyone assuming and deciding which one of her friends she was dating today. why couldn’t they see she loved you? why couldn’t they just move on? she wasn’t theirs to play around with, she just wanted to do what she loved, surrounded by people she loved. surrounded by you.
warned me to make the rules, or play the fool, it ain't that hard to choose
“rosie, this could make or break your career” you really wish it wasn’t this hard, you wish you could just love each other and live contently. without anyone else interfering.
“i don’t give a fuck anymore. i need you to do the same” she’s cried, she’s given up. but she’s angry, she wants this over. she wants you two to be free. “will you walk the red carpet with me? please” she asks again, begs, her eyes are telling you all of the above. how she can’t take this anymore, if she has to pretend she doesn’t know you for one more night, she might just explode.
rosé can’t ever explain to you the amount of bliss she felt when you agreed, she had been given an ultimatum since the beginning, play the fool or break the rules. play the fool because it could save her career, break the rules because it could save her. she’s finally brave enough to choose for you. and she chooses to be immensely happy, publicly
i say fuck it when i feel it. cuz no one’s keeping tally i do what i want with who i like.
that night, hell broke loose. so did the internet, the photo of her kissing you at the red carpet had millions of fans publicly giving up on her, but so many more expressing their gratitude and pride for her. regardless she couldn’t care less about the numbers, the money, all she cared about was you, her, your future together, and how it was finally possible.
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icallhimjoey · 1 year
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To Have And To Scold
♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It’s just that… you don’t really get along all that well, do you? At least, that’s what you think.
CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers, slooow burn, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader, eventual smut, talk of teenage!trauma (men are men and teenage girls are teenage girls) - nothing graphic, but, you know, a trigger warning feels right
Author’s note: new territory! fresh waters! my first ever part 6! wahhh!
Wordcount: 4.6K
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part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue
Sudden loud voices, followed by the slam of a closing front door shocked you awake. Not enough for you to actually open your eyes, but enough to propel you back into consciousness where you learnt that, oh, whoops, you'd fallen asleep.
The voices that came from the hallway were quickly shushed by Mark, who moved up from the sofa and you felt his legs disappear from underneath your feet.
“What’s – oh, she’s asleep,”
Your shoulder ached from lying on it weird.
The talking turned into whispers and was followed by footsteps that moved into the kitchen. When you looked with a squinty eye, you saw the TV was still on, but had been muted.
You'd had dinner over at Mark's, and Poppy had gone out with Joe. That was always the way it was; you and Mark were people who stayed in wearing comfy outfits, had simple meals and enjoyed shitty TV together. Poppy and Joe would go out in shiny outfits to shiny restaurants where they had shiny meals, you were sure.
No drinks after, though. Not tonight. Tomorrow she had her appointment at a wedding boutique, and you'd been invited to come along as well. You and Poppy were friends, after all, and she valued your opinion when it came to wedding dresses over Joe's anyway.
It was dark out, and you tried remembering if it had already been dark before you'd drifted off as you stretched your arms up over your head.
You were so toasty warm underneath the throw blanket, you groaned at the prospect of having to put your shoes back on and go outside for the trek home.
A sudden noise jump-scared you, and you were quick to pull in both arms close to your chest as your head snapped to where it came from.
Joe was stood in the doorway.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you,"
"Oh my God," you spoke on an exhale, rubbed your face with both hands, and mentally cursed Joe for shocking you awake like he had.
Had he been stood there the whole time?
"Good morning?" you could hear him suppress a laugh, making fun of you as you sat up. Hair everywhere, sleep in your eyes and muscles all achy.
"It's night time," you corrected him dryly, not in the mood to play.
"Correction, it's not even 9, the evening's barely started."
Oh.
It felt like it was past midnight. But you shrugged, because it didn't really matter, and reached for one of your shoes that you pulled out from underneath the coffee table.
"Won't you... won't you have trouble getting to sleep later? Now that you've slept already?"
You frowned. Why was Joe trying to have a chat with you? Could he not go join Mark and Poppy in the kitchen and let you come back into your own body in some peace and quiet?
"I'll be fine," you pushed a foot into your second shoe. "I love a good nap."
A silence fell, and when you'd tied your shoe laces, you slapped your knees and took a deep breath. You looked at Joe who was still awkwardly hovering in the doorway, feet on the threshold, and you looked at him as if to ask, what do you want?
"Um, we... we came up with an idea," Joe started, scratching the back of his head.
"Small change of plans. We're turning the bridal shower into a wedding shower,"
You were glad that this was wedding-related, because it immediately normalised the conversation Joe was trying to have with you. You took a second to think it over, and then smiled an impressed smile at Joe.
"Well done," you nodded at him with your eyebrows raised. "Isn't that just a regular party, then?"
"Yea," Joe shrugged a little bashfully. "Pre-wedding party, everyone's invited, not just Poppy's guests,"
And no playing stupid bridal shower games, or stupid bridal shower activities... you were onto Joe. It was very clear that this was a way to minimize his workload and instead, just... drink.
Honestly, you didn't mind it.
"We thought it'd be nicer that way. Get everyone excited for the wedding,"
"No, yea... you're right. It probably will be nicer to have a normal party instead of playing the newly wed game, or some wild form of mad lips with their vows, or whatever,"
"Loo roll bride," Joe added.
"We could still do that, park Pop in the middle of the dance floor and dance around to wrap her up," you quipped, and got a huffed laugh out of Joe.
It was almost normal, until Joe's head turned and Mark's voice got into earshot. Joe immediately tensed up, you could see it in his shoulders, and you didn't understand why it offended you the way it did.
"Brilliant idea! We've managed to find a date that works for us," Mark said, revealing what they'd been up to, and it prompted Joe to step away to go and find Poppy.
Mark looked at you and turned on the ceiling light, washing the room in bright white. It made you flinch a little.
"Hey, twitchy-feet, you slept for nearly two hours,"
"I feel very well rested," you said, grinning at the nickname and getting up from the sofa.
"Kicked me several times,"
"You can take it,"
Finding your coat over the back of a chair, you slung it 'round and stuck one arm in after the other.
"You ready for tomorrow?" you called out loudly, and waited for a response from the kitchen.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Poppy called back.
"I was born ready," you grinned.
"No, you weren't," Mark said softly so only you could hear. "You were born five weeks premature, you–" you punched him in the arm as you stepped past him into the hallway.
"I'm so ready, I'll bring all of my opinions," you joked when you saw Poppy walk over, followed closely behind by Joe.
"Good, I'm going to need them."
"I'll bring mine too," Joe said, but earned an immediate scoff from his friend.
"No, leave those at home, you're just there for moral support. You need to tell me I look pretty in everything, and then I'll let the women be honest with me," Poppy said and you saw how they made eye-contact for a second.
It was wild how they looked in love when they locked eyes like that.
You snuck a quick glance at Mark to see if he noticed anything, but he had his phone out and you saw he had his agenda open, busy putting in when the wedding shower would be.
"I'm heading out," you broke their stare and all eyes turned to you.
"Me too," Joe said, and that immediately shot panic into your veins. You didn't need Joe walking you home again.
"Actually," Mark said, "I could use your help with something," And with a hand on his shoulder, Mark turned Joe back towards the kitchen.
"Bye," you called, and Mark waved a hand over his shoulder without looking back.
You didn't know if your face had given you away, if you'd been obvious about it, or if Mark had just sensed it within you, but you were grateful. Grateful you got to slip out of the house by yourself, void of any awkward embarrassing interaction with Joe. Just a small tiny wave for Poppy that got a bright smile of hers in return, and the door shut behind you.
Nice.
You could save all the tension for the next day. You just hoped it wouldn't get too weird. Tomorrow was going to be all about Poppy, anyhow. There wasn't going to be any room for Joe to be distant and weird with you.
At least, that's what you thought.
The next day, you all met up outside the boutique. Poppy, her mother, her auntie who doubled up as her godmother, and her daughter, Poppy's favourite cousin. And Joe. Of course, Joe was there too.
The six of you were sat down on one large sofa, everything pristine white, very clean, and obviously very expensive. You didn't sit next to Joe, even though out of everyone in Poppy's entourage you knew him best. It just, it was a little weird. In this group, you had known Poppy the shortest, and were only her friend by association. Originally, anyway.
After introductions to the bridal consultant of who you all were to Poppy, Poppy got whisked off fairly quickly to have a look at some dresses and to immediately try the first one on.
Waiting whilst she got dressed took ages.
Poppy's aunt and cousin took the time to look at dresses in the storefront, to see if they could find ones they thought would look good on Poppy. Joe buried himself in his phone, which was interesting, because you knew he wasn't on social media, so what the fuck was he even doing? Playing games?
It left you and Poppy's mum to talk.
"I've always wondered," she said, kind eyes all crinkled as she smiled at you.
"Of course we know Joe," she turned and curled a hand around his wrist. Joe smiled at her for a second, far more comfortable around her than you were. Which, yea, made sense. She might as well have been his mother.
"And we know Mark, but we don't really know you, do we? I've never heard how you and Mark became such close friends,"
Oh God.
This definitely felt like a protective mother making sure her daughter wasn't going to marry an unreliable man. One who didn't secretly have a girl on the side. One that didn't hide his mistress in plain sight.
You kind of understood, though. This all came from a good place, even if you could see that the smile you got from her was now very obviously a fake one. Or, perhaps not fake, but definitely wary.
Then you saw Joe put his phone down and direct his attention to you as well. A strange grin took over his face.
He scooted his hips forward a little, getting more comfortable as his legs spread wider. He was ready to listen to a story.
"Oh, well," you waved a hand, making it seem like you and Mark were surface level mates. "Nothing crazy, we just met at school and became fast friends."
It wasn't a direct lie. Not really.
It just wasn't an answer to the question she asked.
Joe narrowed his eyes at you and then frowned a little.
"You and Poppy met at school, didn't you?" Poppy's mum turned back to Joe, who immediately smiled at her and nodded. "Year 4," Joe added, and it was wild to see how fond she was of him.
Poster boy Joseph.
Probably the perfect son-in-law in her eyes. You wondered how much she despised that Joe wasn't the one marrying her daughter. How much she wanted Joe to be a true part of her family.
Instead she'd gotten Mark. And Mark came with an attachment.
You.
"Mark and I met when I was 14, and, you know him," you said, unsure if she actually did. "One big, kind softie."
The two of you laughed. Bonded over the fact that Mark was hardly soft - he could easily intimidate with just a simple look. He could be soft, sure. But he didn't look it.
Not the way that Joe looked soft, you thought.
The bridal consultant walked out and called everyone back to the sofa. Poppy was about to walk out in the first wedding dress she'd ever put on her body.
This was a big moment.
With everyone in position, Poppy got introduced all officially, and then she stepped out, dressed in an awful looking huge pile of tule that engulfed all of her. Absolutely ate her alive. She looked excited, but very self-conscious.
Her mother clapped in her hands excitedly and was already close to tears.
You looked at Joe who, Jesus Christ, looked absolutely smitten.
What was fucking wrong with him?
Poppy's aunt and cousin had huge big smiles on their faces and, oh my God, were you going to be the only one to tell her that you didn't like the dress on her at all?
Poppy got placed in front of a mirror and took a good look before she turned to face all of you.
"And?" Poppy questioned, eyes hopeful but terrified.
Her mother burst into tears.
Oh shit.
Joe immediately handed over a tissue from a box next to him.
"You look gorgeous," he said as he comforted Poppy's mum.
And she did look gorgeous. That wasn't the issue here.
Poppy got praised left right and centre, and you paid close attention to her face. For a moment you thought you weren't going to be able to give your honest opinion, because you saw her bloom, thriving on the kind words she was receiving from everyone.
However, when the consultant asked Poppy what she thought of it herself, Poppy turned back to look at herself in the mirror and hesitated.
Thank fuck.
Poppy made eye-contact with you in the mirror and gave you a questioning look.
"Pop, you look fantastic in white. Most beautiful bride. I'm being honest. Your skin looks like it's glowing, it's gorgeous... but, babe," you bit your lips into your mouth for a second, and considered the reaction you were going to get from the rest of the sofa.
"This dress looks awful,"
You saw heads snap towards you from your peripheral vision. You kept your eyes trained on Pop. Kind eyes. Real sympathetic ones.
The air was tense and you all waited for Poppy's reaction.
"I know," Poppy replied before she burst into laughter.
You could practically feel the whole sofa relax.
"It's not really your style, is it?" Poppy's cousin added.
"Far too cupcakey," Poppy said and scrunched up her nose as she picked at some tule and faffed with it to show what she meant.
"All right, less cupcakey, got it," the bridal consultant smiled.
The tone had been set. Good. You were glad. If everyone was just going to tell Poppy she looked great in every single dress, this whole appointment would be useless.
There was some more back and forth, people mentioning what they did like about the dress she was in, people adding how maybe this or that change would make it be more Poppy, and when Poppy disappeared into the dressing room to try on another dress, her mother reached a hand that grabbed onto your knee for a second.
"Thank you," this time you could see that her smile was sincere. "She deserves good friends like you."
You looked at Joe and couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. You were getting praised for being a good mate when Poppy's literal platonic soulmate was sat on the other side of her.
Joe eyes darted and only landed on you for a second.
Big cringe.
"Poppy deserves the world," you agreed. "And a beautiful dress," the cousin added, to which you all hummed and nodded. She really did.
Poppy tried on a few more dresses before she stepped out and was already in tears herself.
This was it.
It was the one.
Poppy knew it was the one, she could feel it in her bones and it radiated off of her.
She looked stunning.
Like, seriously stunning.
Mark was really fucking lucky.
It only took one look for her mother to start crying again, and before long, it was just you, Joe and the consultant with dry faces. Everyone else had tears streaming down.
"That's it," you said, and Poppy nodded with a shaky inhale and a wobbly smile. "That's the dress."
Her mother absolutely broke down then, and stood up to hug the girl in the beautiful white gown. It got quickly followed by her aunt who was trying her hardest not to let her mascara run, and Joe was just handing out tissues all 'round like his life depended on it.
He passed you one, which you took, but then held up questioningly.
"You're supposed to cry," Joe spoke out of the side of his mouth, his face in a faux panic over the fact that you weren't. He waved a hand in a small circle that was meant to say, hurry up with those tears, and it made you roll your eyes at him.
You stuck the tissue into your pocket and looked at the ladies stood by the mirrors.
This felt like a moment.
One you weren't part of. You weren't family, and you got the strong sense you were intruding.
The bridal consultant stepped back past the curtains that lead to the dressing room, and you thought she must have been thinking the same thing.
When Poppy's mother started talking about Poppy's birth, reminiscing about her sweet little baby girl, you knew you were right. Time to give them some space. You got up, excused yourself to Poppy's cousin who seemed to be drowning in self-pity over being single more than anything else, and escaped into the front of the store.
For a second you thought you could just busy yourself, looking through dresses, or whatever, but when you saw the door, some fresh air sounded divine.
It was nice out. Sunny. Slight breeze. Not very warm yet, but, the sun on your skin was bright enough to warm it.
You checked the time, and upon seeing how much time had already passed, you realised you were actually quite hungry. How bad would it be if you darted off get your hands on some food?
You didn't get to think about it long.
The door to the wedding boutique opened, and Joe stepped out.
Thinking that he'd been sent out to come and get you, you were about to tell him that you were just getting some fresh air and would be back inside in a minute. But then, Joe revealed a packet of cigarettes from a pocket and you realised he was joining you out on the pavement.
"Got a bit too emosh in there?" you asked.
Joe nodded as he took his first drag. A good, long one. He seemed insanely uncomfortable.
"I know it's a whole thing," Joe waved his hand around and made a stupid face. "But, fuck me, over five thousand pounds for a dress?"
Jesus fucking Christ.
Of course the dress Poppy was going to get was over five thousand pounds. Of fucking course.
Joe shook his head, and even though you agreed, you thought you had a little case of a pot calling a kettle black on your hands here. Joe looked like he was wearing designer pieces exclusively. He probably had gotten a lot of it for free, but retail value would easily be a couple thousand.
So, you wanted to defend Poppy a little.
"If she loves it, she loves it," you shrugged.
"Yea, no, of course,"
"And she looks great,"
"She does."
Joe was quick to just go along with you. Didn't want to ruffle any feathers. He was but a man, one who didn't really get it, but the ladies inside were really going through something together, and when Joe saw you sneak away, he'd followed your lead and had done the same.
"Poppy's got nice family,"
You'd only briefly seen her mother once, but had never actually spoken to her before. Her aunt and cousin were completely strangers to you, but they honestly did seem lovely.
"She does," Joe said, and he let another silence follow as he looked down the street, away from you.
Jeez, Joe. Come on, put some effort in.
"Though her mother definitely doesn't trust me," you couldn't help the slight chuckle at yourself.
Joe's eyes found yours, and he huffed a laugh as he exhaled thick white smoke that immediately blew upwards.
"Nah," he started, "She's all right,"
You looked down at your feet a moment.
"It didn't help that you pretended you barely even know Mark at all," Joe reminded you, and you looked up at him, about to share that she did say that Poppy deserved friends like you, but something about the way Joe was looking at you made the words linger in your lungs.
"What was that about?"
In all the years that you and Joe had avoided conversations like these, suddenly, it felt like the most natural thing between you.
To be talking about your friends like this.
You wondered what changed.
"I... I could tell you, but, I need to warn you. I might cry."
Joe didn't say anything. Just smoked.
"Is being in the vicinity of four crying women not enough?"
It was meant as a joke, but you knew that even just thinking about the start of your friendship with Mark could make your throat hurt.
"No? Need one more?"
You hid your smile badly, but you poked Joe right where it hurt. Joe thought he'd said something wrong and immediately backed off. You thought he either didn't get social cues, just in general, or that maybe you'd been right before, and Joe really didn't actually like you. He'd just tried to be nice for Poppy's sake.
You couldn't even be mad. That just made him a good friend. It just sucked that you had to bear the brunt of it.
But you were kind, remember? So after a short moment of silence, you decided to just tell him anyway.
"When I was 14, my, um... experience, with boys, and honestly, too many adult men, was very..."
You forgot that having to tell him meant you had to say the actual words. Verbalise them. Speak them into the air, just... outside, where you were stood on the pavement, for strangers to hear. For Joe to hear.
"How can I put this without it sounding too dramatic... basically, any time a boy was friendly to me, and I thought I'd made a friend, it was... it was never just friendly. There was always a point where suddenly, they wanted to put their sweaty little teenage hands in... places,"
Oh God, you couldn't look Joe in the eye for this.
"And I don't know, it just... if every time you think you've made a friend you end up finding out that they aren't actually a friend, it um... fucked me up, a little bit,"
You were going to brush over the adult men you mentioned.
"Not to mention the way that you'd then get treated after when you'd kindly say, no thanks, I'd like us to remain friends, please,"
You recalled the way they'd speak to you. Would look at you. Like you'd personally done them a great disservice. Like not letting them touch your tits was the most vile thing you could've ever done to them.
"Adult men?"
Fuck.
Joe's voice couldn't sound smaller if he'd tried.
"Yea, you know... just," you shrugged. Eyes down. This was just what things were like. "Teachers who would squeeze your shoulder for a second too long when they'd reassure you that you really were a beautiful young girl, or, my dad's coworkers that would comment on them being disappointed I wouldn't be in my schooluniform if they'd visit on the weekends,"
"Fucking hell,"
"It's whatever," you kick stomped a foot into the pavement. "It's not like I was molested or anything,"
Joe didn't say anything.
"But so, I'd turned down one of Mark's classmates who couldn't really deal with that and tried to spread rumours, you know, just... teenage boy behaviour, no offence,"
Joe thought back to his own teenage years. Of classmates calling girls lesbians because they avoided kissing them at a park gathering over the weekend. Or them calling girls slags for the exact same reason.
"Mark just... Mark decided to become my friend, and then, actually became my friend. It took me ages to trust that he wouldn't one day try to roll onto me to make out. I just... I kept waiting for him to make a move and the longer it took, the more I knew the world would burn when he eventually would–"
"Pocket," Joe suddenly said.
"Huh?"
"You've got... the tissue I gave you, you put it in your pocket,"
Oh shit. You were crying. A stupid laugh escaped you and you were quick to find the crumpled up piece of tissue.
"I'm all right, honestly," you said, unable to not laugh at yourself. "It's just... it's dumb how much it meant for me to find a friend who wasn't romantically interested in the slightest,"
"I don't think that's dumb,"
Joe looked at you with impossibly big, rounded eyes. All full of things like... empathy, and softness. Zero judgment.
"Well. It is." You concluded. Last thing you needed was for Joe to feel sorry for you.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think that being betrayed and backstabbed a lot as a young girl means that– like, obviously that does– that's not, it's not dumb,"
Joe was going to have to stop talking if he didn't want you to break down right in front of him.
"It's– I think it's profoundly human that those type of things have an impact. Things like that leave marks, don't they?"
The sob that wretched itself from you was the worst thing your body had ever done to you in public. In front of Joe, no less.
It made you duck into yourself, and Joe's arms were around you in an instant. You imagined that Joe hugging you would be arms barely there. Body held back. Just, soft pats on a shoulder blade for just a second.
But it was none of that.
Joe's arms held a lot of strength. Squeezed your ribs tightly. Compressed you. A large palm covered the entire back of your head as he pressed it into the space below his chin.
It somehow eased everything immediately.
Joe smelled nice.
Was warm.
"It's not dumb," Joe started, his voice all soft and velvety. "You're–" but then a loud knock on glass interrupted him and made the two of you turn your heads to see Poppy stood in front of the window. Crying.
The two of you looked at each other, and Poppy's face only scrunched up more at the sight of you.
"Look at her," you said to Joe as he let you go and you didn't even wait for him to finish was he was about to say to you. You rushed inside where Poppy and you fell into a massive hug.
"Are you all right?" she hiccuped through a whisper.
"I am," you smiled over her shoulder. "You just look so very beautiful, it's hard to bear,"
You got a wet laugh out of her before you pulled back.
"This is what you're going to be wearing, right?"
"This is the one," Poppy beamed, and the urge to hug her close overtook again.
By now Joe had made it inside, and you could see him look at the two of you from the side.
"Your wedding is going to be so gorgeous, you have no idea. I can't fucking wait," you said, and Poppy's grip around your neck tightened in excitement.
"It'll be the best day," you continued. "The weather will be lovely, and everyone you love is going to be there to witness you and Mark, saying yes to each other. It'll be beautiful, everyone will be so happy. Good vibes only."
"Don't," Poppy sniffled. "Please don't lose the rings,"
You immediately dropped your shoulders, and a few steps away, Joe let out a loud belly laugh.
You were quick to flip him off behind Poppy's back before pulling back out of Poppy's embrace. Your middle finger aimed at him only made Joe laugh louder.
"Of course I won't," you smiled sweetly at her.
"Trust me. I won't."
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