#but i see women and wished I looked like them a

[beejunos]

SPEAK TO ME | Sneak peek [Alastor x f.reader] | SMUT (mdni)

Summary: Alastors voice turns you on. Something he loves to take advantage of.

FULL STORY HERE!

Did someone ask for an Alastor voice kink fic?! This is only a sneak peek! I hope to finish this little smutty story in about two days.

Halfway through your night routine, you turned on your radio at a soft, pleasant volume, and Alastor's smooth voice filled the otherwise silent room. 

"Salutations, friends and hellish residents! Tonight, we have a splendid assortment of the latest news and the best Hell has to offer in jazz, but before we chitchat about our dear city's hellish affairs, here is the newest music from Miss Jezebel and The Wicked Six!" 

Slow and sultry jazz music started to play on the radio. The woman who sang had a deep, smoky quality that was inherently sexy to you. There was just something about women who sang with deep voices that made your hips sway from side to side, effortlessly dancing across your room as you started to strip, pretending there was someone there who enjoyed the show you put on. 

You turned off all the lights except the small lamp by your bed and crawled under the thick blanket. You left the radio on as you made yourself comfortable, hugging one of your pillows close to you. 

The song ended, and Alastor came back. This time, he started talking about the news. Since the news sometimes made you too sad to sleep, you never really listened to what he was saying; you only listened to his voice—his tone, the cadence of his speech, and his transatlantic accent. 

You let his voice wash over you like a soothing balm to your aching body, but soon, you felt the familiar tingles run up your back. Warmth pooled low within you as you shifted in your bed, lying on your back. The desire to touch and be touched grew in you, to move, to grind, to satisfy the urge for sex. 

Closing your eyes and letting your hands wander over your body, you start by slowly dragging your fingertips over your sensitive throat, making sure that your light fingertips touch all the places that made you weak. 

Your hands travel from your throat down to your chest. Palming your breasts in your hand, you drag your nails over your sensitive nipples. Pinshin, pulling and rolling them between your fingers till they are warm and hard. 

Your senses sharpen as you start to feel more intensely, but your mind goes hazy, making it hard to think clearly. Alastors voice is but background noise now that edges you on.

One hand stays on your breast as the other journeys down, down, down and under your underwear. 

You slowly drag your finger between your lips, coating your finger in your wetness as you slowly pull it towards your clit. A breathless gasp is pulled from your mouth the first time your finger comes in contact with your sensitive clit. Slowly and with the lightest touch, you start to circle the organ, and what feels like electricity builds in your loins.

You can't help but move in your bed, legs bending and toes curling as you give yourself the pleasure that you wished Alastor would provide you. Your hand that previously played with your breast joined your other hand, and you let out a not-so-subtle moan as you pushed two fingers into you. Desperately, you curl your fingers inside you to increase the pleasure. 

You want it. You need it. Your toes curl almost painfully as Alastors name falls from your lips like a prayer. 

You're so close. So close you can see stars behind your eyes. You breathlessly chase that sweet release. Building, and building, and building. Your legs are shaking as you bite your lips. Hips lift from the mattress as you fight the urge to close your legs.

You are so, so close.

"What are you doing, my dear?" 

Cold dread crashes through your body as you rip your hands away from your body. You frantically look all over your room in the shadows. Looking for that all-knowing smile and calculating red eyes. 

His voice had been so close and clear that he had to be in your room. It had felt like he had spoken to you right beside your ear. But you were alone. No one was in your room but you. 

"Such a naughty little creature you are, my dear. So desperate to be touched." 

Goosebumps travel up your back as you slowly turn in the direction you hear his voice. On your nightstand is the radio that Alastor gave you. It is still on, but the yellow light of the display has turned red. 

Towering over you in your bed, you almost feel like he is watching you. Observing you as you lay naked in your bed. Your blankets were by the end of the bed as you had kicked them off a long time ago. 

"Can't even listen to me talking without having to touch yourself. My oh my, what will I ever do with such a bad little doe, hm?" 

Shaking all over, you reached for the radio's electrical cord and jerked it out of the outlet. The radio fell silent as you collapsed in your bed. Spent, but not satisfied. However, you soon start to tremble over the fact that Alastor had listened to you pleasuring yourself, and he seemed to like it.

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x you #x reader #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x you #alastor smut #alastor x reader smut #hazbin hotel smut

[11cupid-tarot11]

How would your future spouse treat you on your moon cycle? <3

I was having such bad cramps when this question suddenly hit me and I figured we'd all love to know, right? Even though I get very cranky and like to be alone during my time of the month hehe.

1 -> 2

3 -> 4

Pile 1- Wheel of fortune, queen of wands, queen of swords.

So this person will literally try to pamper you, whatever that may look like for you. I'm hearing they'll respect all of your boundaries and will grant all of your wishes, they're very supportive. I'm hearing they don't like seeing you in pain and they understand how uncomfortable this time frame is for you.

I think this person is naturally caring and easily can read human emotions and they're giving therapists vibes tbh like they could work in that field or maybe for some I'm picking up on massage therapists, this person just seems like they know humans enough like maybe they studied it or it could just means they've studied you so well they know what you need (I said 'want' at first but was directed to switch it to 'need'. Someone's fs here likes being in charge lol) . Either way, I think they'd love to be your massage therapist around this time. I'm hearing anything to make you feel good.

THEY WILL LITERALLY TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN, pamper you, spoil you.

I'm hearing for some, around your moon cycle you get mood swings maybe? Your entire energy changes enough for this person to catch on and they'll know before/when you're on your period because of this. Maybe you're usually very chill and calm and around this time you're just more cranky than usual like me lol and your person will try very hard to just make sure your okay and not taking their head off? Lol, the way your person talks is very funny, they're very funny and so so sweet!

I think this person will treat you so well simply because they love you, you're their baby and they respect you so much. You're literally their queen. They love you so so much 😍 they want me to leave this rose emoji for you 🌹 (I think they're very giving, it's just in their nature 😭)

Other messages- my sweet girl, lots of chocolate and warm towels, hugs and I'm picking up on those who would rather be left alone for moments at a time they understand, they'll check up on you occasionally and will still be very affectionate (u can't refuse their hugs I'm hearing no escape lol 🤣😭 they're very cute. I think they like compliments? They might blush and smile a lot?) The type to randomly kiss ur forehead or cheek when ur literally just ✨chillin✨ just because.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 2- Ace of swords, temperance, the fool and the hermit.

So I think this person actually doesn't know much about a women's cycle, I think for a specific few they're the only child or maybe they just didn't grow up around a lot of feminine energy so this just isn't their field but I'm hearing they'd try damn hard to make sure everything's okay!

They'd follow your lead on this, like they prefer to maybe watch you from afar during this time? Like sometimes they don't know if they should bother or if they could help at all so they'll probably just straight up ask if there's anything they can do. This person isn't immature about it, but they do feel a bit awkward during those days? (I'm actually dying at ur person, they hardly know how to describe anything?)

Okay, for example, say you're having very bad stomach cramps and you've been in bed all day complaining, they would probably let you stay in bed as long as you'd like and would peek their head in the doorway to silently check up on you because they don't know if they should disturb you or not.

I think they'd love it if you just told them or ask for anything you need, I think they'd rather you rest and use them as a servant 😜 (ur person wanted me to add that, they felt very serious until now? I'm dying) until you feel better, they'll try different approaches tho, I don't think it'll always be this awkward. I think when you two have been together for awhile they'll pick up. I think then they'd mix up their own home remedies, and their own strategies by now, they're not very specific on what this could be or what it could look like because I think this person doesn't really want you to know?

They really want you to feel cared for and like they're there for you as much as possible so they're constantly thinking of new ideas for you!

This is not an 18+ reading and take it how it resonates but I think a very selective few wouldn't mind having intercourse on their moon cycle? 👀

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 3- Death, Ace of coins, The tower, Page of wands

This pile feels different, I was getting the energy of your person being shy and excited to have their turn for the reading 🤣 maybe this person isn't someone who you see romantically at first, could be a roommate a friend but you do know this person or they will come into your life at some point and you guys will have some kind of friendship from the start. It's giving secret admirer tho.

With the death card I'm thinking y'all could've just made it official, it feels like this is something new to them. Maybe it makes them feel a step closer to you? They think it's very cool you're trusting them enough at a time like this. They really value it.

I think they'll be the type to really go all in, ask you probably 20x a day "What do you need?" I saw that scene from Aladdin, when the genie is explaining how tired he is of being in the lamp and he's like "What do you need?Poof! What do you need? Poof!"

This person is trying to charm you and maybe show you they really care for you by doing this, I'm hearing 365 days a year they'll be like this tho, not only when you're on your moon cycle. I think they want you to be vulnerable with them or can't wait to see more vulnerable sides of you.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 4- The moon, Kight of coins, Temperance, Kight of swords.

My pile 4's energy is different, I think this person could be older than you? This person overall isn't someone who's very cuddly or could even be very hard to read so moments like these really show that side of them in their own way?

For example, say you ran out of pads but your stomach hurts too bad to go get them yourself, your person wouldn't be thrilled to shop in the women's section but for YOU they will, they'll go get your pads and make sure they're the right size and everything (I'm hearing he'll literally call you and ask what size he should get).

They're very serious when it comes to you, they have dedication and it shows in the oddest ways possible.

So for your time of the month they'd be very chill about, the other piles felt all jittery and nervous like they were scared to mess up but your person is smart, he'll break down those walls for you, if you just want to cuddle in bed they'll hold you as long as you like. I'm hearing they're actually kind of "softer" at the right times (I'm sorry I can't think of a better word right now)

You'll love how this person will treat you and your needs and I'm hearing symptoms as well, they're very comfortable and reliable. He's like your big giant teddy bear! 🧸

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

#18+ tarot #pac tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #pac love reading #pick a card #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #spirituality #pick a pile #tarot commissions #tarot requests

[muddyorbsblr]

a startling realization pt1

See my full list of works here!

Summary: Oakley returns to campus after a trip with his mates and steadily comes to realize he's developed feelings for you

Pairing: Oakley x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warning/s: frat boy friends vibes; bit of angst; probably not a completely accurate referencing to the events of 'Unrelated' [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: prequel piece to 'just another memory' but can be read alone; Oakley is a SIMP in the making for Reader

There'd been a strange sinking feeling in Oakley's stomach since he and his mates hit the road back to Cambridge. It was the kind that he'd only ever felt when he knew he'd done something that could get his mother cross at him and she and his father would impose some form of punishment on him. Perhaps revoke his cell phone for a week so he couldn't join his friends on their regular scheduled shenanigans. Or chat up some stunner that he'd met the week prior.

But things were different now. He was no longer bound by their rules for the most part. He was free to do whatever he wished and this trip to Italy was the perfect showcase of that new dynamic. All he had to do was get his degree and get a job, and he would still have their support and financial aid so that he wouldn't have to stay at the dorms or even have to tough it out with a roommate that might not approve of the way he lived day in day out.

The only person keeping him in check now was himself, and as far as he was concerned, there was nothing he'd done in Italy that he wouldn't have done in Cambridge. He had a bloody good time there, even, getting to engage in not just one but two flings, and one of them with an older woman.

And yet, when he thought back on every touch, every kiss, that he'd shared with either of the women, that pit in his stomach would form again. As if the activities he'd engaged in during his vacation were somehow the "wrong thing" that could make someone responsible for him cross.

But why?

"You're awfully quiet back there, mate. Which one of your lucky ladies is taking up space in that randy little brain o' yours, I reckon?" Eric teased, lightly tapping the curly blond's head as he plopped down on the seat next to him, jostling him out of his dwelling over why there was a pit in his stomach to begin with.

"I've no idea what you're on about, mate, I'm not thinking of anyone," he tried to brush it off, brows furrowing together when he tried to remember that night in the pool and the knots in his stomach worsened. Like the memories he made in Italy were not something he could look back at with fondness.

If he dwelled on it for even a second longer than necessary, it almost felt as if he was looking back on those memories with a touch of shame.

"Ah come on, Oaks, you tellin' everyone 'ere that you're not thinking about that stunner of a blonde Elizabetta? Even I'm thinking 'bout her and it wasn't my tongue down 'er throat." Eric crowded his space, squishing him to the side of the van. "Or even that cougar Anna, my lord, man that one was fawning and doting after you!"

As if right on cue, his mobile rang and vibrated violently in his pocket. Another call. He didn't need to even glance at the tiny device to know who it was. She'd been calling since just a few minutes after they'd all said their goodbyes.

That was over 24 hours ago. And he was well on his way back to campus, the scenery already began to elicit that feeling of 'home'. Or at least of familiarity.

"Speak o' the devil! Why don't you pick it up, Oaks? Be a grand old time hearing her pining after you again." His friend flailed into his side, dramatically placing the back of his hand on his brow. "'Oh Oakley how I miss you terribly, why don't I come visit you on Cambridge and we can live out any professor fantasies you might have in that virile young college brain? I'll even get the glasses and the pencil skirt just for you."

"Sod off," he grunted, trying to chuckle away the mental image. Another thing that was bothering him: Those fantasies that he'd had before they left for Italy a little over a month ago…none of them appealed to him now. "If you want, you take her number and live out those filthy little daydreams of yours, mate."

All that he could manage to think of at the moment was the melancholic knowledge that when he got back to his apartment, there would be no one there. He wasn't coming home to anyone. That didn't used to bother him before, but for some reason sitting in this van with all his mates and having to hear them be completely taken up with his own conquests in this trip made him feel as if he should be guilty and shameful somehow of the way he acted. The way he treated both the women that he encountered and found himself entangled with.

This is ridiculous, you're not looking for a wife, you batty little git, he hissed at himself, trying to supress the urge to let out a deep exhale. That would set off everyone in the van. Besides, you don't even know anyone that's even remotely wife material.

"Hey hey hey look alive, lads," Marcus, the one at the wheel, started to call out. His tone was brimming with wanton intent. "We are steadily approaching the dorms, and you know what comes after."

"Sorority row!" the rest of the van cheered, proceeding to make botched barking sounds, effectively drowning out the relentless ringing of Oakley's phone.

But the mention of the dorms finally had him sitting up straighter, realization dawning on him that he was wrong. He actually already knew someone who was so much more than "wife material". Someone brilliant and diligent that had a part of him driven to make the steps to be someone better.

Someone that he called his best friend. Better than anyone in the van with him tonight.

You.

"Marcus, could you drop me off here?" he called out, his stomach flipping at the sight of your familiar silhouette jogging to the front door of your dormitory.

His friends' remarks faded into a dull buzzing in the background as he got off the van, making his way over to you and staying still by your side while you did your step-ups at the bottom step of the stairs. It only took a few moments before you shifted your gaze at him, removing your earphones and hooking the cord behind your head before giving him a beaming grin.

"Goldie Long Legs!" you squealed, the exhilaration from your workout giving you an adorably flushed look, the slightest tinge of pink on your cheeks. "I didn't know you were coming back tonight."

"I was gonna give you a call when I woke up tomorrow, but then I saw you." He did his best not to pay too much attention to the strange somersaults his stomach was making the longer he stared at you. "Coffee?" He tried to keep his tone casual, despite the way his voice cracked on the last syllable, as if he was a nervous lad asking a girl out for the first time.

You answered a giggle that had his heart doing the most bizarre acrobatics in his chest. Why was he reacting to you like this? Was it simply the lack of a woman's presence the last two days as they made their way back, making this reaction more primal than anything else? Was it your exercise outfit and the way the fabric clung to the curves that were rarely ever out for him to take notice of before?

Was it something else? Something that was simply…uniquely…you?

"Coffee? At this hour?" you laughed off his offer. "All the coffee shops are closed by now, and you know how you get with caffeine, Goldie. If you have a sip, you won't know a peaceful night's sleep tonight."

"Oi! Lookin' good there, Y/L/N!" Eric hollered from the van. Oakley's skin bristled seeing how his friend leered over your figure. "Shame you didn't join us, Italy woulda been an even prettier sight with you around."

"Rather not add to the trail of broken hearts you lot left behind," you shot back flawlessly, sticking your tongue out at the boys in the van. "I know you lads well enough to know you didn't behave yourselves."

"Oaks over there's the worst offender of us all!" Eric pouted, pointing at the curly haired blond. "Two flings. At the same time. Shoulda seen him, Y/L/N, he was at the top of his game."

The playful smile on your face faltered for a fraction of a second before you recomposed yourself. That infinitesimal moment was more than enough for the pit in his stomach to make its presence felt once again. Now Oakley knew what it was, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Shame. And the worry that knowing what he'd done back there would somehow taint your perception of him. When your gaze darted to him once again, he had to fight back the words that wanted to stumble clumsily out of his mouth. They meant nothing to me.

In the moment they were fascinating, and truthfully while he was in said moment, he thought about how things would go moving forward. If he would try to pursue anything with either of them, but ultimately the immediate answer was 'No'. Back then he didn't know quite yet the reason behind his mind's outright refusal, but now he did.

This dalliance was a mistake. I have someone so much better back at home and I've been a fool not to see it.

"Quite the juggling act, Goldie," you remarked, your tone more hushed than before. It felt as if you were putting distance between the two of you despite not having moved an inch. Like there was a wall he couldn't quite scale now just to get to you.

"One o' them even gave him a nice lil picture o' her. A breathtaking blonde called Elizabetta. Ohh man not even the finest girls in sorority row can compare."

Shut up, you little twat, he internally seethed, wanting nothing more than to throw whatever he could get his hands on at Eric's head so that he could just. Stop. Talking.

And then his mobile started ringing again. And your smile disappeared, your face looking as if it was struggling to decide how to reconfigure itself, your neck twitching with every shrill note of his ringtone. "That's probably that breathtaking blonde now," you said in an eerily chipper tone. "I won't keep you any longer, I'm sure you're tired from the trip. And you'd like to spend the night speaking with your new lady friend."

"Oh that's not even the blonde! That's the other one!" Dammit Eric, stop talking. "Older lady. Head over heels for him, she couldn't keep her hands off him every time they were in the room together. Told you, Y/L/N. Top of his game."

"Ohh so a lady lady friend. All worldly and whatnot…" Even your body language was throwing him off now, way too casual to fit how he himself felt in this moment. The feeling of wanting more than anything to explain. "Well then, I really don't want to keep you. I know better than to keep my elders waiting, you should, too."

The boys in the van started cheering and clapping over your remark, jokingly chanting "One of us! One of us!" as you gave them a curtsy, making a motion as if you were wearing a skirt rather than your black and hot pink leggings.

It was only when you were halfway up the steps to your dorm building that he managed to find his voice again. "Breakfast tomorrow? My treat?"

You only answered with another giggle. "Did you hit your head or something back in Italy? You don't do breakfast, Oakley. At most you do half a protein bar at first period. From my purse. I'll see you at lunch. I mean…if you're not too busy with your new lady friends or whatever."

He couldn't come up with an intelligible enough response, instead watching you walk into your building and shutting the door, wiping away at your face with your towel. All that he could do was walk back into the van, telling Marcus in a daze, "Drop me off at my place. I'm not in the mood for stop overs at sorority row."

Oakley wasn't in the mood for any more games. Any more women. Not tonight.

The next morning the first thing he did was call up his service provider to see about getting a number blocked, and then he grabbed his wallet, rummaging around in his desk drawer for a handful of photos to place in front of Elizabetta's. A group photo with his mates from their first class project in freshman year, a photo with his family. A photo of a stolen moment with you where you two were wielding chopsticks at each other in a playful "stand off" for a potsticker, and your graduation photo.

On a whim, he placed the potsticker one in the front, a fond smile stretching across his face as he traced his finger over your face in the picture. And then his alarm clock began to ring and the sound quickly filled his apartment, springing him into action to find the nearest clean outfit he had lying around.

He nearly broke a sweat with how fast he ran to your dorm building, hoping he'd catch you before you started walking toward wherever you'd decided to grab breakfast for this morning. Right as he was across the street from the front doors, you walked out, one earphone plugged in and the other dangling from the cord, undoubtedly mouthing along to whichever song was topping the chart this week.

"Y/N!" He internally winced at the hoarseness in his voice. He wasn't even running for that long; how was it that he was already heaving for air?

Your head snapped up to his direction at the sound of your name, shock registering on your face when your eyes met his. Followed by confusion, your brows adorably knitting together as you watched him jogging towards you as he crossed the street.

"What brings you to my neck of the woods at this hour, Goldie?" you greeted him with a smile, hooking the cord of your earphones behind your neck. "Have a breakfast date with one of the girls from my building? You must have it bad for this one if you're willing to wake up so early for--"

"Y/N, I'm…I'm not here for someone from your building," he cut you off, wiping his hands on his shorts before standing up straight, trying to get his heart to stop beating so bloody fast. "I asked you to breakfast last night, remember? My treat?"

His response had you visibly taken aback. "Oh…" The word came out more like a squeak, making you clear your throat. "I uhh…I thought you just offered that as a nicety. For catching up. We could've done lunch…or you know, coffee now that it's a reasonable hour."

"We could do that, too," he said in a rush, fighting against the strange instinctual urge to reach for your hand as the worry that you might wave him off and start walking away crossed his mind. "After breakfast?"

You shuffled your feet in place, slightly swaying back and forth. It was a motion he knew all too well from you, the one that told him you were trying to think something through, trying to find the reason and the rationality in something before deciding what to say or do next. Had it been any other day, any other circumstance, and had he not been grappling with finding his own sense of rationality in why there was suddenly this shift on how he was acting and reacting around you, he would have swayed with you.

After a few moments your mouth stretched into a half-smile, shrugging before tilting your head in the direction of a nearby cafe and bakery. "Alright then. Let's go."

Oakley couldn't help how his face broke out into a grin, a touch too eagerly falling into step with you, still fighting the urge to reach for your hand. To lace his fingers with yours.

"So tell me all about Italy," you started, looking up at him and squinting your eyes as the morning sun hit your features. "Start with the food because I want to know if handmade pasta--"

"We can talk about Italy later," he breathed out, finally losing the struggle to not reach for you and settling on lightly resting his hand just above the small of your back. "Tell me about what you've been up to the last six weeks."

He'd try and process what it meant later. That all he wanted to do was know how you'd spent your time apart. That he wanted to hear your stories rather than speak about his own. That much as it was an extraordinary experience to roam Italy with his mates, the only thing he could think of now was how it could have been even more beautiful if he perhaps…experienced it with you.

"Oh…" Your voice got smaller again, as if you were struggling yourself to find words. "Well truthfully they were quite boring. My sister visited campus to drag me to the shopping plaza to overhaul my wardrobe. She's quite literally holding my jumpers hostage and replaced them all with…well, things like these." You awkwardly motioned at the dress you were wearing, a frilly sage number with a bow. "I look ridiculous."

"You look beautiful," he blurted out, immediately biting the inside of his cheek when you snapped your head up to give him a questioning look. A new feeling flooded him. Something almost akin to…fear? His heart was still pounding and thrashing in his chest, his breathing thready like the air was too thin.

Like he was afraid that you'd look at him and see right through him. Right into his soul. His deepest, most secret thoughts. Thoughts he hadn't even dared to properly articulate with himself.

And if you saw them, if you saw him, you would walk away without a second thought. Those words that he was so used to wielding without completely meaning it when he was around other girls, he'd uttered to you with the weight of every unspoken thought he'd had of you since last night.

With every ounce of sincerity and honesty that felt so foreign for him to possess.

"Oh please, Goldie, you don't have to butter me up," you laughed off his compliment, waving it away with your hand like it was a little housefly flitting away by your face. "You don't have to lay it on--"

"I'm not." The words were flying out of him faster than his brain could filter them. "You're beautiful, Y/N. And it's not because your sister overhauled your wardrobe or you changed your hair. It's you." His heart caught in his throat seeing your eyes widen, the questions and the confusion in them mirroring his own. What was wrong with him today? "All of you."

You pursed your lips, already looking back in the opposite direction like you were second guessing agreeing to sharing a meal with him. Or maybe even sharing any form of time with him. He already wanted to hit himself for not keeping his mouth shut, he probably just flushed your entire friendship down the toilet all because he started acting the same way he did when he was in the first grade talking to the prettiest girl in class.

"Hmmm," you sounded through pursed lips, taking a deep breath before your features morphed into that all too composed smile that you gave him and his mates last night. "And here I thought all I had going for me was my winning personailty."

"That's just a part of it," he shot back, failing to fight the urge to touch his hand to your arm as you reached the cafe, helping you keep steady as you walked up the elevated platform leading to the door. Right as you walked past him when he opened the door for you, he caught a wisp of your perfume. The same one you'd worn every day since the day he met you, the scent of apples and mandarin blanketing him with a warmth that took him aback.

Memories of his weeks in Italy now bombarded him. How he would relish the apples that he had, breathing in the scent before taking a bite. How he brought an apple when he and the rest of the group visited a citrus grove, and how the combined smells reminded him of home.

Only his family home didn't smell like that at all. It smelled of tea plants and bergamot.

"Oakley?" Your voice broke through his memories. "You alright over there?"

He took in the sight of you, a single eyebrow raised looking like you were amused by his stupefied state, the corner of your mouth upturned in a little smirk. "Right as rain," he choked out, finding it hard to breathe properly with his heart beating so fast it might as well be The Flash on a treadmill. "Just not used to being up this early, is all."

You only wagged your finger at him, tsk'ing in response when he stepped up next to you at the counter. "Shouldn't have shocked your system with changing your routine like that, Goldie. You have to ease yourself into it, take baby steps. Otherwise you'll crash midday and end up taking a twenty-minute nap that quickly turns into four hours, miss a lecture, and then you'll have to rely on my notes. Again."

"Ah, you should know me better by now, Y/N. I'll need to rely on your notes even if I'm wide awake, I can never pay attention to those old windbags."

His words had you rolling your eyes to the ceiling, a devious smile playing at your lips. He couldn't take his eyes off you, every waking brain cell screaming at him to take your face in his hands and kiss you.

"And here I thought your time with your new worldly lady friend would have you respecting our elders a bit more," you quipped, laughing at him when all he could do in response was audibly choke on the air. "Maybe we can hack that debauched brain of yours. Pretend those old windbags are your older lady friend instead, or pretend one of the pretty girls in our lecture room is your breathtaking blonde Italian beauty. Maybe then you'll pay a bit more attention in class."

I won't, his mind protested. Why would I look anywhere else when you're right next to me?

"I really don't think so," he said softly, letting out a chuckle when all you did was shake your head at him, proceeding to order a bacon cheese waffle sandwich and the first of a handful of coffees you'd be drinking throughout the day. All the while Oakley watched you, a fond smile stretching across his face as he lost himself in the memory of the citrus grove again. The scent he was chasing the entire way to Italy and back.

Your scent.

Home

A/N: Sometime last year I made a lil note in my idea notebook to make a prequel piece to 'just another memory' and now here we are…and it's gonna be a 2-parter with a potential alternate ending because the lil gremlin horn dogs in my writer brain want a scenario where she chooses…well, y'know what, you'll know who it is soon enough 😈😈

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist

#oakley #oakley x reader #unrelated #tom hiddleston x reader #muddyorbs writes

[marymary-diva17]

The daughter of two worlds (2)

neteyam and daughter reader + sully family and others

Many years had passed and life had gone on for the great mother and her children. As the years had come and gone neteyam had kept true to his promise to his daughter. Along with the passing years that had come the baby girl y/n had grown up, becoming her own person. A girl that had been deemed a child of two worlds as seemed one with the forest, and one with ocean.

y/n " ......." a young girl was walking through her village with a smile on her face.

elder " good morning y/n"

y/n " good morning"

navi women " good morning y/n"

y/n " good morning" you had moved swiftly and graceful as other were walking pass or near the sideline, after a while you had soon reached the healer hut.

mo'at " there is my great granddaughter"

y/n " hello great grand mother"

mo'at " today I thought you will be with your father"

y/n " no dad is off with grandpa and uncles they will not be back until later on, that what grandpa told me"

mo'at " that explains everything"

y/n " I was about to head out and I was wondering if there anything, you need be to gather for healing or will you like me to stay here and help around have some lessons"

mo'at " there no need young lady you had done lessons yesterday with me and help me as well, you should enjoy your time off"

y/n " yes ma'am"

mo'at " good now go have fun I will tell the rest of the family where you went"

y/n " thank you" you had smiled at your great grandmother as you soon left the hut, passing by some of the healers and some people that came seeking help. They gave you smiles when they saw you as you waved to them.

mo'at " Be safe out there"

y/n " I will" you had soon left the village running past the human homes saying hello, to them as well as you soon left the territories of the clan. Since you had always been young you always felt a connection to the forest and the great mother as well, so much that your great grandmother and aunt kiri started teaching you heal and how to understand the great mother even more.

y/n " ......" you had ran on some tree trucks and played with some of the flowers, as you made your way through the forest. After some walking and running you soon reached, a place you always like to hangout. The sound of rushing water had soon draw your attention you soon saw a water fall, a smile had grown on your face as you went to the top of the waterfall.

y/n " this is good enough" you had soon walked away from the edge and soon ran back, jumped off the edge of the waterfall and soon diving into the deepwater below. You had soon open your eyes to see you are underwater a smile grew on your face, the water around you always felt natural to you.

y/n " ......" you had stayed under the water for a while until you had to head back to the surface for air, you had laid on your pack in the water as you floated around.

y/n " huh oh hello there" you had open your eyes when you felt something touching your face, you had soon looked and saw it was wood spirts. You had stoped floating and soon reached out of the spirts as it landed on your hand but soon floated away.

y/n " goodbye" you had stayed near the river a bit more working on your skills and enjoying, the beautiful surrounds near you. Soon the sun started setting and it was time to head home.

???? " y/n" you had heard your name getting called you soon looked up to see your dad but with your uncles. You had waved towards them as you made your way towards them.

neteyam " hello my daughter it seems like you had wonder off today"

y/n " yes I did great grandmother said she didn't need me today, and said I should enjoy my day as I please and wish for so I decide to do this dad"

neteyam " I can see that"

Jake " a wild spirt as every my granddaughter"

y/n " yes grandpa" Jake had laughed as he patted your forehead the whole family, knew you had a wild spirt.

lo'ak " so what have you done today"

y/n " explore the beauty of the forest uncle and seeing what has to offer today"

tsu'tey " she also have wisdom in her as well"

Jake " neytiri has been teaching her well"

spider " sounds like aunt neytiri"

Jake " come on everyone lets get home before night comes upon us" the group had nodded their head and soon made their way home, they soon reach it while the sun is still out.

neytiri " there you all are"

y/n " grandma hello"

neytiri " hello my dear I had a feeling you were out exploring"

Jake " well she is our wild spirted and wise spoken granddaughter"

kiri " welcome back everyone"

tuk " welcome home"

y/n " aunt kiri and aunt tuk"

tuk " hey y/n it good to see you sorry we were not able to hangout with you today"

y/n " it okay I understand you are all busy"

neytiri " well why don't you all join us for dinner tsu'tey and spider will you both like to, come we can invite norm as well"

tsu'tey " we will love that"

neytiri " good" the family had gather for a good dinner and everything was going well in the sully family home. You are sitting with your father eating your meal as everyone talked about anything.

mo'at " you know my son I think your daughter will make a good healer, and maybe future tshaik after her aunts"

kiri " yes brother she every skilled and keeps on getting better"

neteyam " umm that good sweetheart will you love to become a healer or tshaik"

y/n " yes but I will also like to learn to fight and hunt as well"

lo'ak " that sounds like a good deal"

Jake " then we can make that happen"

y/n " yes" the family had laughed at your response as you had looked at neteyam.

y/n " dad is everything okay"

neteyam " oh yes my love everything is fine no need to worry" the family had gotten done eating dinner and soon started hanging out inside the home and outside. You were hangout outside having a good time with some other teens your age as well.

Jake " we all know one day she was travel to sea and see what it had to offer her"

neteyam " I know father but I will take sure to be there for her"

kiri " brother we all know y/n has faced many challenges and she, will be able to face this one but with all of us there with her and you"

neytiri " it still makes me mad that they regret her like that all because she different, it goof she different that what makes her special"

neteyam " that what I love about her and I know my daughter will do well"

lo'ak " yes but when she learns the truth of what happened in the past, how will she deal with the situation as either us or anyone else could keep the whole truth hidden anymore ... it might come from us or them maybe someone else"

neteyam " I have been working on telling her the truth when that time comes I will tell her" the family had looked at you as you dance or talking with the other kids and tuk having a good time.

neteyam " for now lets her have some fun while she can while we all can, with what has been going on"

Jake " you are right my son" neteyam was right as the family agreed with him, as they soon joined in with the night actives. That night father and daughter had gone home, neteyam did love you his daughter with all his heart but he also felt sadness for you. As you had been abandoned by the person he loved many years ago, along with the rest of his family and clan. He knew you are doing well and in no time you will show everyone, what you are made of when that day comes. The sully family and clan will be by your side when they day comes when the past comes, back to everyone and thing might not be the same anymore once it does.

#avatar 2 #avatar x reader #avatar x y/n #atwow #avatar #avatar the way of water #sully family x reader #sully family #sully kids #sully reader #atwow fanfiction #atwow loak #atwow neteyam #atwow x reader #avatar twow #avatar way of water #james cameron avatar #jake x neytiri #neytiri x jake #neytiri x reader #neytiri x you #neytiri x y/n #lo'ak avatar #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #lo'ak sully #kiri #neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully #kiri sully

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

The person you have been supporting not only hates you but wishes for your death (ange and em) check ur notifys they wish to slit your throat

Ugh tbh wish they'd get on with it, fucking hate Mondays like

Also I swear that specific bit wasn't even said about me 🧐 imagine getting your own lie wrong

Right then

Hello YOU

Assuming this is either Bel or whatever because I really can't think of who else it'd be on the back of all that's happened lately, it's interesting how you want to bring these doctored ass screenshots to my attention and yet, and YET, BLOCKED ME when I was reblogging support for what was going on with Ange and everything else.

Just seems a bit sus to me can't lie.

I'm a notorious 'stay out of shit' person, so I'd like to say it takes a lot for someone to go out of their way to block me. That is, unless they felt threatened. Or unless they don't like me. Which is fine. If you want to block me, that's totally fine.

What I don't get, is trying to circulate doctored screenshots that aren't even on your normal account (cos you panic blocked everyone) and trying to spin them as legitimate.

As a British person it is SO clear as day that this is how YOU speak Bel. It's just so obvious I don't even know where to start with it. There are things you're claiming Ange and Em have said which they wouldn't in a *million* years say. And you're obviously trying to drag in blogs who have so far been unaffected, which just makes it easier to spot your desperation.

For what? I'm not sure.

Now if you want to come off anon, and talk to me about this like grown women then feel free to do so. The offer is there. But I have a feeling you won't.

All I ask is that you stop badgering other blogs with this desperate 'look what mean fake ass things thingy said about you', cos for me anyway, it's not going to work and I only hope other people see through you like so many have the last few days.

#ask liz #hotd fandom drama #nice try bel but I have a medium IQ

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (19)

@tastetherainbow290 this was CRAZY and very long i read A LOT

chapter 51

"I love him so much. It tears me apart that I can't make him see just how special he is." i need a james

james and remus being friends

“The Hallows would sooner believe Sirius fell in love with the actual moon before they believed he fell in love with a servant” 😭😭

these fools need to hug each other

they told each other their birthdays! look at them opening up to each other

sirius is so cute just talking to the moon

lily mention 

regulus being mad bc he fell asleep on sirius 😭

“Sirius will sleep when he's dead, and hey, that'll probably arrive for him sooner rather than later. Silver lining? Bad joke.” YEAH IT WAS A BAD JOKE

day three! they’re going to escape today right? i hope 

sibling moment

more weird creatures?!

AUGUSTA NO

SHE LIVES!!! huzzah alice

yes emmeline 

“"You know," Sirius muses, "if James were here, he'd be beat-boxing right now."” sirius’ name is so ironic bc that man is NEVER serious 😭

regulus calling james his fiancé ❤️‍🩹

sirius 😭

“I am going to be sexy until the day I die” yes you are sirius

“Did he know he was engaged prior to Regulus announcing it when he sent the bagel? No. Is he going to protest it? Also no.” james is the realest ever

WHAT ARE THEY DOING

i’m gonna cry omg

i know regulus makes it but why would they torment him like this. 

evan 💔

YES

i am jumping with joy rn

chapter 52

boggarts?!

oh no so many warnings for this chapter

dorcas!

lucius?! 

the boggart 😧

oh!

they’re making into a competition of course they are

"You remind me of my Alphard. He cared so much it killed him." 💔

biological warfare 😧

VANITY 💔

sirius lost regulus AGAIN?!

oh!

narcissa?!

vanity 💔

JAMES?!

oh it’s a boggart

poor reg he just can’t catch a break

this is so sad omg i am actually going to cry

marlene!!!!! huzzah!!!

cannibalism as a metaphor for love 

“she could have put it though his chest. he wishes she did.” 💔

fiancé 🤭

oh no

AUGUSTA 💔

i’m crying omg

i love alice

this is so sad

poor frank omg 💔

oh no bellatrix has found sirius

no he’s dissociating 

i know sirius is alive but OMG

bellatrix doing what she does in order of the phoenix when she kills sirius ah stop it don’t do this to me

rip bellatrix black you will not be missed 🙏 

HE LIVES!!!!!

“bellatrix died with tears on her cheeks” WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

alice ☹️

poor frank omg 

“we’re starting a war” AHHHH i love you dorcas

chapter 53

narcissa ☹️

james finding out about his district ☹️

oh i forgot about mary i hope she is safe

i forgot dorcas didn’t know about remus

oh!

i really hope remus didnt leave omg

effie!!!!

lily what

“Euphemia passes her thumb over the letter in her pocket and really, really hopes that Remus is included in that.” we are all hoping

mary! she is safe

the great hall 😯

enemies to lovers marylily endgame?!

sybill 😭

i still am confused on so bingley is

kingsley and sybill love

barty and amos 😭😭

“i don’t even like men” “you do not darling” i love barty

sybill is HILARIOUS how did she not know she was in a relationship with someone

sybill telling everyone about their Secret mission

barty too?! okay everyone’s just getting in on this i guess

barty seducing amos into letting them go on the mission he is So Funny i love him so much 

thunderbird thieves ATE

oh no james what happened

REMUS LEFT NO

poor pandora ☹️ she has to leave her dying father behind that is so sad

uh oh 😧

james saving the day as always

revolution!

lily: “we have this under control.” meanwhile everyone in the background screaming that they’re all going to die 😭

the ring is a tracker!

dorcas being a prepared queen 

“"You're crazy," Rodolphus states. "I like crazy." "I like women," Dorcas replies. "Only."” icon behavior i love dorcas so much

rodolphus being a respectful king

mission mission mission

oh no the password

POPPY!

marlene what are you doing

oh no no no no

they got regulus thank god but they can’t leave sirius behind

oh no oh no oh no

why would you end the chapter like this

guys my heart is beating so fast rn i’m not even joking and i have to end here bc i have to go back to school ahhhh 

chapter 54

oh no everything is going wrong

dorcas literally Killing It

“At one point, James runs out of bullets, looks at his gun, then just throws it at the Auror in front of him” 😭

remus kill count: 2

eek

james and his bleeding heart

FRANK NO

dorcas telling james about sirius why is this chapter so sad

james what are you doing

oh. remus doesn’t know about sirius

barty 😭

marlene 😧

MARLENE!!!!!

ugh snape

voldy 😧

sirius in azkaban that is FOUL

chapter 55

kingsley 💔

poor andromeda ☹️

effie ❤️‍🩹

i’m gonna cry ahhhh

LILY

oh no

poor remus omg 💔

“revived six years later just to disintegrate before her very eyes.” oh

lowkey forgot about aberforth

boooo dumbledore 🍅🍅🍅

chapter 56

sirius being chronically bored

sirius calling voldy a dead fish 😭

sirius is a certified yapper

sirius just. swallowing voldy’s blood 😭

WHO IS BINGLEY

OHHH HES MARY’S BROTHER

marylily? marylily. 

remus and lily friendship ❤️‍🩹

lily being in love with mary <3

effie ❤️‍🩹

marlene ☹️

barty and rodolphus? okay

opulent another vocab word

JAMES

chapter 57

of course it didn’t pick up with james’ pov. 

pandora being an oblivious queen 😭

dorcas being lily’s The One That Got Away ☹️

lily 😭

lily ☹️

mary next ahhhh

kiss kiss kiss

afhhhhh i need jegulus happenings its been too long

this is so sad ☹️☹️☹️

“aturally, Regulus freezes like a startled hare under the gaze of a watchful wolf.” get it bc remus is a werewolf

nooo don’t fight

yay they’re friends again 

"Dumbledore of the Albus variety” 😭

JAMES?!

james….

“and he's so nervous and full of anxious anticipation that he's struck with the impulse to beat-box.” JAMES 😭😭😭

sirius 😧

“you’re hot” then sirius 😭😭

"Are you, like, allergic to prison?" 

prongsfoot is prongsfooting

☹️

chapter 58

ALBUS AND ARIANA WERE IN THE SAME HUNGER GAMES?!

ALBUS VOLUNTEERED FOR ABERFORTH?!

side note — i love that their names are albus and aberforth and then theres just 💫ariana💫

regulus is learning all the lore

so grindelwald killed ariana? and that’s why albus killed him?

albus dumbledore, always pacing in his office. 

regulus is so regulus

"If I can't persuade the leader in you, then let me persuade the man who knows what it is to be in love, let me persuade the brother you are. I love James, and Sirius is my brother. Please."

"We have a deal."  HUZZAH!

dora you are a little icon 

sprout! 

trojan horse 😧

ahhhh wolfstar and jegulus happenings will be happening soon 

marleneee don’t be mean to the love of your life

this is sad

i’m giving you an all tomato. which means you give me the whole tomato, or else.

they’re swapping…. please don’t die marlene

the way mary and sirius are always together briefly in every fanfic 

MARYLILY KISS!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! a cheek kiss but a kiss nonetheless 

barty 😭😭

oh regulus

effie 😭 god i love her

barty is so barty 

DID HE JUST BREAK SOME RANDO’S ARM 😭 REGULUS WHAT THE HECK MAN valid honestly. defend your man’s honor.

“needless to say regulus ends up in solitary” yeah we all saw that coming

aberforth! he’s really starting to grow on me

regulus is so regulus

pomona having an Extensive Wine Collection is so real

why does marlene have it out for lily (i mean i know why but they need to Be Friends)

oh are they Being Friends now?

yes they are and i love them ❤️‍🩹

chapter 59

ugh snape

why is this literally the red scare

OH WAIT is severus dumbledore’s ‘source’

“Potter is a fool, no doubt about it, but he isn't the biggest fool in this room. No, that honor goes to Riddle.” bars

did anyone else stop breathing when they read the suffocation part

"Now, I present you with my own to do something that's very on brand for James and I, which is me arguing with literally everything he just said."

“Oh, yeah, Sirius remembers what he did. He got sexy.” 😭😭 sirius 

“My pasta is calling my name, you have no idea." ME FR

of course remus is volunteering to go get sirius

😧

sirius you did not just say “welp” 😭😭😭

i miss evan 💔

oh!

i hate that remus knows exactly where sirius is but also yay for the mission?

sirius nooo

eeeeee they’re kissing but can they Get Out Of There

"He never got to eat his pasta." 😭

dead body chute 💀

ok severus

ok i have to read another chapter…

chapter 60

james 😧

dorcas is So In Love and i lover i love dorlene

pomona 💔

i hope this has a happy ending 

"The world doesn't revolve around me, Dorcas." "Mine does." I LOVE DORLENE

bingley!

i love bingley and lily being friends

MARYLILY!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! ITS HAPPENING!!!!!!

oh?

“hope can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.” dumbledore core

they’re immune ?!

DID SIRIUS GET IMMUNITY FROM INGESTING VOLDYS BLOOD 😭

regulus climbed the tree?! i am proud of him ❤️‍🩹

i’m crying

“he needs his glasses”

effie ☹️

“Before Regulus ever found the sun in James, Sirius was the brightest light he knew; his guiding star.” ❤️‍🩹

crying still

chapter 61

james pov!

he’s high 😭

“no! my skin” 😭😭

“what did the big flower say to the little flower? hey there bud” james im in love with you

“I love you because you're you. And you—you're my friend, Remus.” ❤️‍🩹

"We're alone, love." ahhhhhhh jegulus is So Back

baby

molly got glasses for james omg 

fab and gid 💔

eeee they’re kissing 

"I love you, James. I loved you from the start, I love you now, and I'll love you for as long as love is something that exists—and, if it ever stops existing, I'll reinvent it just for you."

🎶confess i loved you from the start🎶

remu and sirius

sirius you can’t just tell remus you think you should break up ?!

no don’t break up ?!

remus 😧

huzzah!

they’re kissing again

should i end here while it’s happy(ish)? i think i will i read so much today

#crimson rivers

[youremyheaven]

What are your thoughts on men with prominent Venus nakhatras? Ngl, I feel from personal experience that Purva Phalguni men have an inclination to be more promiscuous compared to other nakshatras 😂 Do you feel Bharani and Uttara Phalguni are similar as well?

my FAV question 😍bc I'm a Venusian men connoisseur, enthusiast and expert 😤🤭

God has given me the exquisite privilege of having known many Venusian men and women and let me tell y'all 😍I love them😍 this is gonna be a bit of a storytime as well so buckle up.

Fair warning, these experiences are a bit of a mixed bag 🤧😤

1. Purvaphalguni Moon guy, super duper sweet, would bring me chocolates, drop me home in his car whenever I asked?? just all around super considerate?? he always did that tall guy thing where they bend forward a little bit to hear you better and idk it always made my heart skip a beat 😌he once saw me argue with a guy and he intervened and then also told me to let him know if this other guy ever gave me trouble (im really into this kind of performative masculinity 😌) he always defended me in front of others?? and always took my side and made me feel comfortable. he asked me out one night and confessed that he had a thing for me for 5 years (i been knowing but I played it cool 😎) but then got all pervy and said he wished I was in bed next to him??? 🤮🤮🤮Imagine waiting 5 years to confess and then u fkn ruin it like that ??? Gave me the ICK big time. I stopped talking to him, 6 months later, he texts me again and says he misses me and wants to ask me out again and I was seeing my ex at that point so I told him I'm seeing someone else and he said ?? it doesn't matter ??? 😭😭 and that he's never ever felt this way ever before and that he wanted me to think this over ??? (I never texted him after that)

2. Purvaphalguni Moon man in his 30s- I worked with him a few years ago. He was super shy and kind of awkward but extremely intelligent and good at what he did. He was married and had a kid. He always gave me mixed signals?? one day I was working with him and it was just us and he said that he's been intrigued by me since the first day and that he usually never initiates conversation with anyone but really wants to talk to me (he seemed genuine and he legit did not speak to anybody there and he had a very warm gentlemanly demeanor so none of this sounded creepy to me) and he told me that I seem very different from everybody else and I was like 😏😏but then he said "you seem to carry a heavy emotional burden" and I was like 😳😳how u know that and I said (we were talking in our mother tongue and I said this using very formal language??) "I don't deny that" and he responded (in similarly formal language) "Even if you do, I won't believe you" and trust me y'all my heart was 😭😭😭he always helped me?? always did little things to make things easier for me?? even when we weren't directly working together, i could always tell he was watching me?? He always indulged me?? I remember how I'd do something stupid and look at him with a 🥺🥹poor me kind of expression and his face would soften and he'd help me out in a very warm genuinely sweet way?? the first guy I mentioned was also like that, the eyes chico, they never lie

3. My ex had Venus atmakaraka so I'm gonna include him 🤪

Y'all the man was obsessed with me. He'd come all the way over to my house, just to see me stand on my balcony 😭 he came all the way over to my house to give me a love letter he wrote for me?? He knew I loved dark chocolate so one day out of the blue, he bought me a big bar for no reason?? along with a book because he knows I love to read 😭😭he loved giving head 🤪i associate being a giver with Venusian men ngl and he always told me he was so fond of it. He always video called me bc he missed seeing me and whenever we went even a little while without talking on call, he'd call me and then say "God I missed your voice, please keep talking, I just want to hear you" 😭😭😭and he'd buy me little gifts 🥺 and we'd do this thing where he kissed me all over my face, even on video?? like I'd point to my forehead and he'd kiss that, then cheek, other cheek until my whole face was covered. I have a lot of moles all over me and he remembered them all and he'd give kisses to them as well 😭😭😭he always told me how pretty I looked and whenever I got shy, he'd do these cute hand gestures that you'd do to coo a baby?? and he'd say "awwww ur sooo cuteee when ur shy" and give me kisses 🥺and he always told me how he wants to see me make art etc and he'd call me after every therapy session to know how it went 🥺🥺 a million things were wrong with our relationship but all the goodness i associate with Venus tbh 😍

4. my Purvashada Moon male friend

he was in a relationship when i was friends with him but again, he was sooooo fond of me 🥺I was chilling with his gf once and he ran up to us with a DSLR and took pics of me and not her?? (I always felt like he didn't enjoy being with her but this moment really cemented that) he always included me in everything and he loved it when I'd make my jokes or tease him or whatever,, I'm the type of person who loves to be taken care of and he was the kind of guy who loved taking care of people,, he was always gentlemanly and sweet and would compliment me randomly?? again, he's never been a creep to me but I always felt awkward about how he seemed to treat me better than he treated his gf (he ended up cheating on her and breaking up with her so 😬😬)

5. Bharani Moon failed talking stage

He was super duper sweet. Extremely gentlemanly and considerate. One thing I've noticed is that all these Venusian men have complimented my voice/said they love to listen to me talk. I used to sing this man to sleep ya'll 🥹and he always said I put him in a trance?? lol? One time I told him that I'm such a boomer and I only know how to use my phone to text and make calls and he said "that's all you need to know cause if you need anything else, you have me" (for context: he was a software engineer) he helped me set up my LinkedIn??? one day we were on call and he asked me "oh the xyz internship you mentioned, can you tell me more about it?" and i thought it was a general question and i started yapping and he did that with my other internships and finally he said, "okay check your WhatsApp" and he had sent me a summarised bullet point list of everything??? and he said "okay now just copy paste this to LinkedIn" and i was so shook?? lol, he stayed on call with me until I was done, i asked him a million dumb questions and he was patient af and literally held my hand through the whole process (setting up a profile is really not that hard at all, it's just filling up a bunch of stuff and he was helping me out with that) after things ended between us, we spoke one more time and he said "I made xyz dish" (a dish that I had told him was my fav and which he didn't know how to make and promised me he would learn) and i was like "why?" and he said "because I was thinking of you and promised you I'd learn to make it" 😩😩😩😩i s2g these Venusian men really know how to get into ur heart bc wtf

6. Bharani Moon, the guy who I think might be my twin flame

First of all, UFFFFF he was obsessed with me. For over a year, he'd just follow me around like a lamb and stare. Even after he asked me out and I said I wasn't interested, he still didn't give up??? he seemed so obsessed with me , it was crazyy, he told me he just wanted to see me and talk to me (I don't know his personality at all but getting those texts kinda creeped me out but maybe he was as genuine as all the other guys?? 😶 Idk) he was always so intense?? like he never shied away from expressing his interest in me, i never expected him to be so forthcoming lol. he came all the way to my uni for no reason than to see me not once but TWICE 🥺🥺wish i could've interacted with him offline to gauge his personality bc based on how he was on text and call, I was put off by his intensity

edit:

7. bc i remembered another guy who was a Purvaphalguni Sun, Purvashada Moon

he was super sweet to me, he always wanted to talk to me, we'd spend hours talking and he always complimented me, he always asked me if he could bring me snacks??? and he lived like half an hour away and he always said "yk you just have to call and ill be at your door" whenever i spoke about wanting to travel, he'd always say "i'll take you" (i had known of him for a long time but we'd only been talking for a few days so i thought it was too much and kinda gave me the ick???) and he was always just doing THE most and then he got super pervy which made me uncomfortable. i told him off for it and he said sorry and then literally in the next conversation when i asked him "what are three things you'd want to do before you die?", he said 2 things and then said "you" and i was like 🙄🙄and he said "dont hold it against me, im a dying man" ICKKKK anyways we stopped talking lol

im actually only now realising that ive had less than positive experiences with Venusian women lol lmk if you want me to talk about that tho 😶

#venus #venusian men

[magicaleggplant]

extremely belated montreal worlds impressions, part 2

part 1 (pairs and women recap)

finally finishing this a whole month after worlds... i'm traveling again over the next couple of weeks and i've barely recovered from montreal! anyways, here's the (very rushed) ice dance and men recap.

———————————–

ICE DANCE

...is a fake sport, but i enjoy the vibes? i don't know a lot about the technicalities of ice dance despite having watched it for many years, so it mostly comes down to whether i like a team or not. overall i enjoyed the event, the free dance more than the rhythm dance (there are only so many 80s RDs i can take...) there were a lot of enjoyable free dances, even in the early groups! i actually enjoyed them more than the final group, in a way. the podium in ice dance tends to be too predictable.

chock/bates: i've never had much of an opinion on this team. i liked them best when they were doing character pieces like the snake charmer fd, but i also found myself enjoying their rhythm dance at worlds. they skated it very well and it was fun and engaging. the free was a bit of a question mark... i thought they had a lot of interesting positions throughout, especially in the lifts and choreographic elements, but the whole program felt a bit disjointed to me. it was fine, it didn't leave much of an impression. the whole did not feel like more than the sum of the parts... their speed was also not the best.

gilles/poirier: i can't remember much from their rd except that piper's costume was amazing, i loved her holographic leggings. their free was a MOMENT, though. wuthering heights has been one of my favorite free dances all season, and it was so good to see it live in front of a home crowd. they are such good storytellers, and when their choreo hits, it really hits. i love when they do something unusual like this program - it doesn't always work, but in this case, it did. the placement of that curve lift was perfect. i will note, however, that they are also not particularly fast.

guignard/fabbri: nearly swore out loud when her dress caught on her skate right in front of me. that was a nerve-wracking few seconds until the end. their free dance was beautiful and suited them really well, i especially loved the choreo assisted jumps near the beginning. their skating skills are clean and precise. i just wish their rhythm dance didn't have such a godawful music cut. none of their RDs have suited them well in the last few seasons.

fear/gibson: no thoughts, head empty, vibes only. in all seriousness, i enjoyed their rhythm dance, it's fun and it's a great fit for them. i did not enjoy rocky. i would have loved it as an exhibition, but not as a competitive program. i can see how it's a crowd-pleaser, though. they were definitely popular with the audience.

lajoie/lagha: probably one of, if not the most popular team with the audience! they are one of the teams i'm most looking forward to seeing in the coming years. i became a fan when i saw them live at last season's skate canada. they skate big and fast, they have good skating skills and both programs were well-choreographed. their rd is a lot of fun - that's how you incorporate a theme and commit to it! i love how most of the dance moves are choreographed into the step sequences instead of stopping and posing. the fd music is a little one-note and i still prefer last season's white crow fd, but their skating quality makes up for it. i'm so glad they were still able to skate at worlds after marjorie's concussion earlier in the season.

carreira/ponomarenko: loved both of their programs, especially their fd. i never knew they could pull off drama so well. their growth in the last two seasons has been phenomenal. it was hilarious that the audience kept getting faked out by the music in the end and clapping before the program ended. i probably would've had them a place higher in the standings.

other notes:

i came out of worlds with an unexpected appreciation for lopareva/brissaud. i never paid much attention to them before, but their skating skills were impressive. i don't think the audience really "got" their rd, but props to them for choosing to do something different. the fd was a snooze, though.

i also enjoyed demougeot/le mercier's free dance. some really interesting choreo moments.

turkkila/versluis: enjoyed their free dance as well, it's a nice look on them.

lim/quan's fd was another Moment! i am super excited for this team and how far they've come in their first senior season. hannah's acting and expressions are god-tier... they need to work on speed and SS, but their fd was gorgeous and one of my favorites of the event.

felt so bad for the taschlers' fall in the rd. i think they were the fastest team in the whole ice dance event, it's so impressive how powerful their skating is. i have questions about their packaging sometimes but i really like this team, and i hope next season goes better for them.

orihara/pirinen's fd was another favorite of the event. they are both SO expressive and fun. in any other team, yuka would outshine her partner, but juho not only keeps up with her but complements her perfectly!

———————————–

MEN

this was the event i was most looking forward to at worlds, and it did not disappoint. as chaotic as i was expecting it to be, i did not anticipate that it would be quite that chaotic. men be menning, as always.

ilia: i wish it were otherwise, but his competitive performances were just not doing it for me. his weaker skating skills were very obvious live when compared to many other top men. i like his sp choreo but i feel like he's put less performance into it with every competition. it was disappointing to see how much he slowed down during the step sequence. (granted, he did have an undisclosed injury at worlds, so that could have been an exacerbating factor.) the free was...historic. i genuinely wish i felt something while watching it, because the audience was losing their shit with every jumping pass lol. and why shouldn't they! like...what the fuck! this is the most incredible jump drill the world has ever seen! who knows when or if he can replicate it again! ...but it's still a jump drill. (side note about how irrationally annoyed the choreo sequence makes me. it's just randomly tacked on the end, the music cut is so abrupt, it has nothing to do with the rest of the program, shae lynn why.) and then i watched him in the gala and he was like a completely different skater. complete 180. the difference was so stark, i could hardly believe it. he can perform! he was giving more in that teenage-angst-ridden exhibition than i've seen in all his competitive programs combined. i can only hope that he brings more of that energy to competition someday, because that's the kind of skating i want to see, that's a skater really connecting with the music and the audience.

yuma: i'm about to heap an embarrassing amount of superlatives on this kid. it was my first time seeing him live, and he was everything i'd hoped for. jumps light as a feather, running edges for days. (you should have heard my ungodly shriek when he landed his 4F in front of me! it looked so easy.) skating skills - sublime, every stroke effortless, excellent speed. but what i'm most impressed with is his artistic improvement this season. he's always been an incredible technician (and i have a lot of thoughts about how ilia is being branded as The Technician and yuma The Artist now, when in fact yuma's technique is just as good, only with lower base value, and his SS are far superior, but i digress) but he has really put in the work to become a better performer and fine-tune everything from his body movements to his interpretation of music. jokes about making me like imagine dragons aside, i think his sp helped him explore music and sharp movements that were out of his comfort zone. loved that step sequence. (the only criticism i have is that he needed more swagger. he needed some more of what adam was serving in his sp, a certain cockiness and suaveness. but yuma has always been a more introverted skater. i think that kind of expression is still difficult for him.) the free was simply glorious. i didn't think i would like yet another rain in your black eyes program, and i was side-eyeing lori nichol for giving yuma this music after she used it for sui/han. but yuma made it his own. there were so many beautiful moments perfectly timed to the music. (ina bauer! spiral! and the step sequence, ahhh) he was so close to being clean, there was an audible groan in the audience when he fell on the 3A, but then they cheered him on until the end, which was heartwarming. what an incredible comeback season from yuma. i'm so excited for his future, i think he has so much potential and many bright moments ahead. now i've written a goddamn novel already, but i haven't even mentioned werther yet. i'll just say that his exhibition is one of the most beautiful programs i've ever seen, competitive or otherwise, and it shows off everything good about yuma's skating. perfect. no notes.

adam: where the fuck do i even start. honestly...if i could only remember one moment from all of montreal worlds, it would be his free skate. it was THE skate of the event. the mounting excitement as he landed all his jumps. the way i said "oh my god" out loud as he set up for the backflip, then landed it in front of me. the audience in complete hysterics. i can't even describe what the arena was like after his free skate. it was. insane. it genuinely felt like there was electricity in the air. the screams were deafening. my heart was pounding. it took me an entire group of skaters to come down from that adrenaline high, lmao. meanwhile, adam sat there in the green room...for hours and hours...and then ended up getting bronze because why the fuck not lmao. it was kind of the perfect conclusion of a chaotic season and a chaotic worlds. yeah, that free skate was THE moment. on another note, i don't actually like his free that much from a choreo standpoint. i think he's one of the most expressive and unique skaters in the field today, and he can pull off a lot of benoit's weirdness, but this free just isn't one of my favorites. it's extremely memorable though, for sure. his sp, on the other hand, was a disaster, but i really appreciated how he kept performing despite the messy jumps. he skated the step sequence like the jump mistakes didn't even happen. that's the sign of a committed performer. i'm very excited to see what else adam has to bring in the future, though i hope he doesn't start throwing in backflips too often - they're only fun when they're infrequent and unexpected.

shoma: shoma has a particular way of moving that is so unique to him. where yuma's skating is springy and light, shoma's skating has weight. it's very difficult to describe, but i mean it in a good way. it's the way everything he does feels so deliberate. he has excellent upper body carriage and his movements really project out into the audience. his sp step sequence was a highlight. he has an innate musicality that is natural to him. truth be told, i haven't liked his programs as much since he moved to stephane, but it was good to see his skating live again. i don't know if shoma will retire soon or keep competing, but if that was his last competition, i'm glad to have seen it, jump issues aside. i first heard of him as a novice skater back when i was first becoming a skating fan. i've been through quite a few generations of skaters' retirements, at this point. still an odd feeling when it might be someone you first saw as a tiny child, though. i also enjoyed his exhibition, it was a different style for him.

i wrote way too much about the top 4, so i'm going to try to keep the rest of this short:

jason: i'm just glad he's still skating. the world needs more of him, for as long as he's willing to give it.

lukas: very fun, i enjoyed him quite a bit.

deniss: finally! a clean short! more of that and fewer quad attempts, please.

kao: ugh. the collective wince in the arena on those falls... i wanted him to skate a clean attack on titan so badly, i love that program for him. he's very talented and INSANELY fast (cannot stress this enough, his speed is mind-blowing) but still lacking in control, and his performance skills need work as well. i hope this worlds was a good learning experience for him.

nikolaj: he's...so tall lmao. amazing lines. good musicality. terrible spins. looking forward to his improvement.

junhwan: the way i put my hands to my face as he fell on the 3A right in front of me... i just hope next season is healthier for him. he's a very, very quality skater and he deserves better.

don't talk to me about boyang

last but not least, shoutout to donovan for those incredible personal best skates! he still needs a lot of work on his SS and speed, but i really hope his jump consistency keeps improving.

———————————–

all in all, worlds was just...a tornado of emotions. some bad, most good. it was my first time seeing the world championships live, and i'm really glad i had the experience. for anyone thinking of going to worlds in the future, please be aware that the days are LONG. i skipped all the practices and some earlier groups of the short programs in order to explore the city, and i was still completely wiped out after every day of competition. it took me several weeks to recover, lol. thanks montreal! i definitely won't forget that week.

#worlds 2024 #report #this is an unedited mess but whatever

[crescentfool]

does anyone else want to stick these two in the same room together or is that just me... i simply think they are adjacent in vibes... (+a bonus thing???)

get u a fictional guy that makes you feel like this... seeing these guys just evoke a Similar Kind of Brain Chemical and Response. Help Me.

also have bonus yosuke doodle featuring the same brushes used here...! from january 23rd, lol.

#fe3h #sylvain jose gautier #persona 4 #yosuke hanamura #crossover #lizzy does art #umm... hi.... (looks away) this is cringe but i am free. what is life if not to draw your favorite characters together on the same canvas #for the record i do not intend to conflate these two as the same character because they are NOT #'lizz. what on EARTH do you see in these guys.' you know. i wish i could answer that. (actually. i can.) #experiencing both of these characters sent me into an absolute spiral of denial when i realized that i enjoyed them #Words Hard but Basically i think its fascinating how both sylvain and yosuke have like this happier front that they project outwards that- #masks the struggles that they don't want others to see... and while both of them do cringe shit thats incredibly stupid #both of these characters have shown themselves to have like?? actual braincells? (re: yosuke at the start of p4 + sylvain support convos) #granted the kinds of themes and messages each of them is meant to convey varies bc of the setting and stories they are in #the sylvain + yosuke pipeline.... oh also i think the fandoms tend to rationalize both of their behavior towards women as like. #a closeted bi case. it's kinda strange to me why they overlap in certain ways hm hm... #but its just so funny to me that like. idk. they're both unbearable. they irritating for a reason /s #i should really draw these two more often (in like separate illusts) they are so fun i love their color schemes and designs it sparks joy #ok ok god i had a lot more to say about that than i thought oops. um. yeah. i learned how to draw for stuff like this. worth itTM

[talesofsymphoniac]

Jo March from Little Women (2019) makes me feel aromantic feelings: a manifesto

Okay, basics out of the way-- Jo lives in a time where she is expected to get married and explicitly expresses that she likely never will and has no desire to.

Her character explores ideas about family and growing up and the idea that the past/childhood can't be clung to-- as Beth puts it, "It's like the tide going out. It goes out slowly, but it can't be stopped." In context, she's specifically talking about her impending death, but it's not too much of a stretch to apply it to Jo's sense that "childhood is over," a sentiment that she expresses at Meg's wedding.

Marriage is something that seems to weigh heavily on Jo's mind throughout the movie-- not only is she shown to be supremely disinterested in it for herself, but she also expresses multiple times that she also dreads the marriage of her sisters, viewing it as having them "stolen away" from her. Multiple times in the movie, when she expresses this sentiment, the response she gets is that she will understand when she falls in love, herself. It goes without saying that that is something aromantic people are told a lot-- that they will understand when they meet the right person-- but what resonates with me about this is something else: in these scenes, Jo is expressing her distress, but those who care about her have no way to understand the source of her distress, and no real way to comfort her, because in the framework of their society, there are very few respectable alternatives to marriage.

To me, the scene that highlights this most strongly is the scene where Jo tries to talk Meg out of her marriage. The quote that gets remembered from this scene is Meg's line, "just because my dreams are different than yours doesn't mean they're unimportant." Which is true, and a deeply powerful thing for Meg to get to say, especially given that she's marrying a poor man for love after she's had it impressed on her that she needed to marry well to care for her family.

But that line is heartbreaking from Jo's point of view. Because while she is certainly being a bit of a dick about her sister's future husband, this scene is a last-ditch effort to explain to her family that she feels abandoned and lost. To me, it kind of parallels Laurie's confession later-- Jo wants, more than anything, to stay with her sisters, and she knows that it's not a possibility the way she wants it to be. In the last moment, she confesses this, knowing what Meg's answer will be, knowing that Meg loves her but that they see their futures differently and there is no way around that.

Meg refuses her, explicitly saying that what she wants is to build her life with her new husband. And that's right for her to say, and I very much doubt Jo expected her to say anything else. But Meg says "childhood was going to end eventually. And what a happy end," oblivious to the fact that for Jo, it isn't a happy end at all, and furthermore there is no clear happy ending in sight for her.

I think there is a lot to be said about the fear of losing one's childhood and having to step into adulthood. But I really think there is more going on than that, here. When Laurie confesses to Jo, she tells him that she doesn't think she will ever marry. But she knows that her sisters will, and that Laurie will. It's not just that childhood is ending; it's that as a child, the roles that society expects of her are those of a sister, daughter, and friend, and these are roles she takes on naturally and happily. But for her, stepping into adulthood means new social roles that she can't fill.

She spells this out very clearly when Laurie confesses to her. She can't see herself as a wife, or as a mistress of the house, or in love with Laurie the way a wife should be. Laurie points out that Jo has avoided dealing with his feelings for her for years, and I think the reason for this is the same reason she dreaded Meg's wedding. To Jo, marriage is the reason she loses Meg and Amy, and it is also the reason she can't maintain her position as Laurie's closest companion.

I know that some people probably read Jo's letter to Laurie agreeing to marry him as a feelings realization, or else her settling for a husband that she likes, if not loves, but given her speech about feeling lonely, I read it more as Jo's realizing that if she wants to keep the role she has in Laurie's life, the only way to do it would be to become his wife, or else someone else will. In other words, even though Jo explicitly loathes the idea of marriage, the only way she can see to maintain the closeness that she wants is through marriage.

Laurie says of course she will marry-- she loves too deeply not to. Her mother says that just because she wants to be loved by Laurie isn't the same thing as her loving him. These comments, to me, combine to represent a hurtful trap that nonromantic people are often hit with: Jo is both "too loving" not to eventually find someone she wants to marry, but also, the love she has for Laurie is "not loving enough," since she doesn't want to marry him.

Of course, Jo does get her happy ending adulthood in the form of the school she starts up, with her family ultimately remaining close to her, as well as her own marriage which may or may not have been a fabrication for her publisher. When the world doesn't provide a path for her to follow, she's able to make her own, and of course I think that speaks to all women, straight or otherwise. But those particular elements will always ring a very strong aromantic/asexual bell for me, and I just wanted to talk about that for a while, thanks for reading all this bye.

#little women #little women 2019 #acearo #meta #mine #look i keep seeing people talk about acearo barbie and they're right but. the acearo jo coding is off the walls ok #and like for both of them it's NOT just the lack of interest in men (or women) it's the grief that they seem to feel about it in some scene #i mean ok granted my understanding is that 'grief for the heteronormative life you won't be able to lead' is not an uncommon lesbian feelin #and so is 'i'm losing my childhood/girl friends to marriage and that's a tragedy' (LOOKING AT YOU ANNE OF GREEN GABLES) #but idk. idk. it's subtle but to me the distinction is 'i wish i could marry my girl friends' vs 'i wish my girl friends would never marry' #also. noting yet again that writing about acearo stuff is harder for me than writing about gay stuff

[natsmagi]

maybe a weird question but ive been wondering this for a while and i kinda wanna hear ur opinion, would u still consider it hetbending if i headcanon natsume as a trans man and tsmg as a trans woman and ship them like this? cuz those are my hcs and sometimes i wonder if its like problematic?? Like id get it if ppl didnt agree with my headcanons thats just differing opinions of course, and thats fine, but im scared bc i dont wanna like, turn gay ships straight and stuff? Either way i hc both of them as bi, but still :( im worried im doing something bad fhfhgjdh sry if this makes u uncomfortable to answer?? I just wanna hear opinions abt this? I truly dont wanna hurt anyone!!

waaa ur fine no worries!! i dont mind answering questions like these at all!!

i guess its sorta nuanced? i suppose by definition it would be considered hetbending, esp if one has an altered appearance to suit the assigned gender. but then theres also the headcanon aspect of it. since it is a headcanon that would make these genders be how you view the characters in their source, rather than altering them for ur own silly amusement

since these things are so nuanced i personally tend to tackle it from a portrayal point of view. Have i altered these characters to make one look like a man and the other a woman? if so, id say it should be tagged and considered as hetbend even if both or one party is trans and their sexualities are bisexual, because the point of tags such as "hetbend" or "genderbend" are so people who dont wish to see their favorite characters altered in these ways dont have to see it. these tags are used out of courtesy! Now, if you've taken the characters and headcanon one as a man and the other a woman but there have been no altercations and they look the exact same except for some pronouns and maybe some clothes change then id say it doesnt need the hetbend tag, as clothes do not have a gender and you can go by whichever pronouns you want while being a gender that said pronouns arent commonly applied to

Basically; if the appearances are altered it should be tagged accordingly out of care and consideration for those who dont wish to see that sort of thing for whatever reason. i dont get why people act like theres some morality thing at stake for tagging things like genderbend? trans or cis, the character looks different now which may be upsetting to some, so tag it!!! we're all just here to have fun!!!!

i also want to say enjoying or creating "hetbends" does not make you a bad person nor are you erasing queer rep, especially if you are keeping their queerness!! the original characters will remain the same no matter how much we may alter their gender and appearances in our niche circles, and there will always be a VAST majority of people representing the canon, so really theres no need to worry about wishing to indulge in the things that make you happy. none of us wish to hurt people with what we create!! and that is the REASON its tagged accordingly to begin with. So again; if you feel you have altered the characters to a point where some may be uncomfortable PLEASE tag it. and if there are things that make YOU uncomfortable PLEASE MUTE IT!! we tag things FOR YOU!!!!

#went on a bit of a tangent SORRY i just hate it when i see obvious femstars art and its not tagged properly #i also dont like the argument some femstarries make where its like “why do ppl cw tag femstars ?? do women scare u ???” #BC WHILE I DO AGREE THERES A FUCK TON OF MISOGYNY IN THIS FANDOM #AND THAT ALOT OF THE TIME IT GENUINELY IS JUST PPL WHO HATE WOMEN COMPLAINING ABT THIS STUFF #there is also the people who get genuinely upset over this sort of content #be it because that character resonates with them deeply so they dont want to see them altered #or because theyre simply in it for the source material and dont wish to see a basically entirely new cast #and it should still be tagged for these people!! #even if its trans!! even if its cis!!!! #please look out for one another!!!!! #the amount of times ive seen people not tag femstars/genderbend bc “oh its trans” upsets me #we dont TAG to let people know whats in their pants #we tag so people who dont want to see potentially upsetting things dont need to see it #does this make sense #idk. i just get annoyed with how everything turns into some act of morality in this fandom #even when your actions are done FOR them #TLDR JUST TAG ACCORDINGLY AKSDHFKUAJHSDG #ask

[criticalrolo]

i think it’s interesting how it’s possible to feel like an Outsider to Every Community even though like. I must be SOMETHING

#me watching people exist from a mile away through binoculars: #wow look at that there sure are people existing over there! wish I could get over there but I don’t know how #anyway this is mostly about gender obv and not really feeling like I’m a part of. any of the community if that makes sense #like the community sure does exist and I wish I knew how to join in but I can’t 😞 #like. nonbinary doesn’t feel. right exactly #or at least not. the nonbinary that I. see around?? idk if that makes sense #but neither does woman or man. or girl or boy #I wanna be a part of a group but a bitch feels rejected by all of them u know?? #by Men and Women as Concepts not by actual like. individuals I should say LOL

[girlscience]

the past few weeks I've been feeling basically zero dysphoria and yet the amount I was thinking about my body didn't decrease even slightly

#imagine not having a constant soundtrack of #'i have boobs. do i hate them? do i like them? what are they feeling? they are moving. nipples. touching things. i hate it. i like it.' #and on and on and on. i do think my dysphoria as a whole has been on a constant decline since I finished puberty #and I really don't know how I feel about that #like technically it should be a good thing... but I don't know how to feel about my body otherwise #and also what does that mean about gender for me. i don't really get the point of being a different gender if i am chill with my body #like..... literally no one is ever going to look at me and not see woman #no matter what i do. #whatever vibe some people have that just makes people know they are somehow different #i do not have that. i get lumped into VERY classic woman no matter what i do #i have chopped all my hair off and don't shave and don't wear makeup and half my clothes are mens and i never wear dresses #it almost makes me want to ask people what i am doing wrong #like i don't think it's bad to be associated with women. i don't hate it #but there are people who are like 'even when i was fully femme other people could tell there was something different about me' #i straight up don't think anyone has ever once thought that about me. i genuinely don't think people even see me as a gnc woman #is it the way i talk? the way i carry myself?? my face????? i don't Know #that was. not at all the point of this post #basically i'm feeling less dysphoria and it is just as discomforting as feeling dysphoria #and i am so tired of constantly being aware of my body #and i wish it would stop but i don't think it ever will and it makes me want to cry

[wereh0gz]

Started reading dungeon meshi and I genuinely have not been this invested in a manga in so long (or piece of media in general that wasn't related to Sonic in some way) I'm having the time of my life here

#ramblings #it's so good #the art is consistently good #the pace of the story feels just right so far #and all of the food looks so good it makes me wish fantasy monsters were real just so we could cook them #it's got me craving food made of stuff that doesn't even exist. how is that possible #also i haven't noticed anything fanservice-y so far which is SO refreshing like you don't even know #like i swear if i see anything with an anime style i can say with 99.99% certainty that either women or kids are sexualized #sometimes both. actually a lot of the time #i can just follow these characters and focus on their quest to save falin without being taken out of it by fanservice it's great #.. hope i'm not jinxing myself by saying all that lmao #idk i'm a good ways in and it still seems fine so i probably don't have anything to worry abt #anyways i wanna eat the treasure bugs

[cursemewithyourkiss]

It's going to be three years since I read the Grishaverse books so I don't remember everything and also I have moved on to different things since so I honestly simply do not really care anymore if Shadow and Bone is accurate? I'm just out here having fun. Except when I'm not having fun but am actually crying

#i understand the sort of feelings people have who wish it was more accurate but i simply cannot share them anymore #like it just doesn't matter to me when what happens as long as i feel like it works in the series #im here to look at beautiful women and see some crazy dynamics and fun magic #shadow and bone #grishaverse #fuck off me