#but i know i overthink and read into things a lot idc hahaha

[cld-n]

You ever read a chapter and you stumble upon like only 8 words but they kinda make you overthink about like everything that's happened like it shifts your entire dynamic on something?? cos I read it a little earlier today but there was something Zayn that like …………………… wow.

#i just.... yeah #i had a 1D solo epiphany of sorts #more so with Niall and Harry sorry I don't really follow Liam or Louis too much but could be them too #but like it makes SO MUCH EVEN MORE SENSE NOW #but i know i overthink and read into things a lot idc hahaha #zayn's autobio #RT2021

[whatireallymeant-blog1]

tbh . .

hello readers!

as if i have. lol but! if you reached this, you’re probably someone trusted, or someone im dating that i somehow see to be going somewhere LOL *stop blushing* i will try to be as perky as possible telling my story so you wont get bored.

spoiler alert: 100% transparency on the way >>

but where do i start? as you know i’m someone with a really really complex mind. i like to act smart and tough! ill talk about the universe, humanity, politics hahaha. cos i am. damn. i am. i wouldn’t be here if im not. but i dont like you to see me weak. ew. but tbh, im not really all that. well, i hate feelings but uhmm im a really sensitive person. ill say that i’m not a touchy feely, yet i kinda am. right now, there’s a lot going in my head. what should i talk about? just the idea of opening up makes me wanna stop writing and continue scrolling on my ig feed, staring at it overthinking what people think when they look at it. mm, im insecure 😅 i’d go tell people around me that, hell idc about social media & all but then.... at night,, ola! im stalking pretty girls wishing i am like them. or i even thought that im one of them HAHAH im sorry ;( self entitlement right there. i read this in a book, we people think that somehow the earth owed us something thats why we get so angry when we dont get what we think we deserve, but then who told me exactly what i deserve? Lol, mm right. ME. What i thought I deserve is merely the thing I want. Even though, i keep telling myself to give up that grandiose idea about me, it’s hard sometimes. i can’t help it, I always feel like i could do better! but the problem is, at the back of my mind that really meant = I could do better than those people i stalk. #thirdworldcountryproblems am i right? Joke. im not right. I HATE IT, don’t worry. You must be thinking that I shouldnt think that way, that I should be thinking of bettering myself instead of competing with others. I KNOW THAT ALREADY. TBH, i’m trying really hard. But hey, dont think too little of me. There are times, thats im getting by, but yknow there are always setbacks.

*im running out of things to say, this is getting longer mmmm.

so sometimes, you’ll notice me deactivating my facebook account, archiving my ig photos,, those are the days that i am really down. a girl needs a detox from all that you know.

*ok bbye wait for TBH p.2 ok? 😘