#but i forgot that i have some friends who are still in highschool and ive been basically doing their math tests for them since remote

[geffenrecords]

I still would like to see your stuff about diary of a wimpy kid. hand it over 🫴🏽

oh boy um. okay. so i hauvent posted abt them in a long time but i imagine if youve followed me for long enuf you remember....and boy theres a lot to sayhere

so the context is that like when i was like 14..me & my at the time best friend became just like. obsessed with the diary of a wimpy kid movies. and im dead serious we were obsessed with them. we watched them all the time and talked about them for hours. like im straight up we loved these movies. my only possible defense for what was up with me is that i was really anorexic haha so i was really weird in the head. but anyways, obviously mostly people only talk about those movies because they like rodrick and well looks around yeah. but also ☝️ we were retired glee kids. my friend had previously been the biggest fan of the warblers from glee (who altogether have maybe 8 minutes of screentime) and we were retired newsies fans. we were really cringey fandom kids still & we were really really good at loving total nothing background characters. so !

if you pay attention. in the first movie rodricks band consists of 1 redhead kid on guitar, some emo kid, and some other random guy. in rodrick rules/dog days, his band is two guys named ben and chris (plus bill in rodrick rules and some random kid they found for dog days). chris doesnt have any lines i dont think but he is there a lot in rodrick rules. i dont have any evidence but im like 79% sure he was definitely high during the filming. and if he wasnt hes really good at acting it. ben does have lines though :-) in rodrick rules he and rodrick drive rowley and greg home and discuss what song theyre going to perform at the talent show and he says "dude we'll get to go backstage" at the party scene.

um. anyways yeah. we made them into what was pretty much our own characters and gave them a whole story which is so long and. in all honesty i just forgot so much of i make shit up all the time for it when i do stuff with it now. but its silly and long and to sum it up -> ben works at office max in a mall (i dont think they have office max in malls) and rodrick keeps coming in to print/copy band posters. one night he breaks the machine so he and ben talk and rodrick asks him to join his band. he says yes, so ben and chris join the band which is rodrick and matt (emo kid from the first movie, who guess what doesnt say a single thing. he just stands there and claps at the sorry women scene) also the big joke with matt was that he works at chuck e cheese and hes the guy who wears the mouse costume and ben rodrick and chris all keep going there and pissing him off and eventually he gets mad and yells at them and thats how they all meet. i think thats what we created him for basically. ben is rhythm guitar/vocals, chris is bass, rodrick is drums, and matt is lead guitar. they break up at the end of highschool and reunite after dropping out of college and get world famous haha. just think like really annoying music kids in like 2007 who actually have a successful band...(their song is rodrick rules is good...i promise go look it up).

but ya. its unfortunately such a personal story to me atp that i cant let it go even though im not even friends with that person anymore. and also i dont really care. its funny & i draw them so much now and also. rodrick rules is such a good fucking movie. i dont care its definitely in my top ten favorites im deadass. whatevs.

other noteable things from this is kitty. whos my oc completely but shes chris' girlfriend and we made her up because the whole joke was she pegged him to paramore. hides my face this is just who we were at the time. but i draw her more with my own ocs than i do with chris her boyfriend who is the only reason she exists. i think thats all. im sorry this is so long but ive never actually explained the whole thing. theres so much more but i literally wont stop if i start. go thru the doawk tag on my blog 4 further explanation or ask me...i love talking about them please please.... bonus drawing of them i just did for this👍

#this is so. i dont know if im embarrassed or not.. #asks #also rodricks too short in that drawing but ohwell. #doawk #like.THABK YOU FOR ASKING TWIRLS MY HAIR....but also goddamn

[iloveyouphillipmorris]

CW: weight/ed/drugs/abuse/everything

everything feels horrible. my friends get gifts and trees and family gatherings and certainty, even certainty of negative things. and i end up completed detached, lingering around, becoming more and more soulless, thee only certainty is loneliness from deep affection and real tender care. it isn’t there.

just locked up in a bathroom again crying in silence with thee shower head on so ely doesn’t hear me. that’s all this is. i need to move away from red cuz i can’t handle it. i feel heavy with tears and mourning. and hollow. air passes through me. i thought i could do it; i thought that V or M or whoever could be thee ones i could fight for and keep and really love and nurture. i was fooled into thinking cierra or rick or ely or natalie ever cared about me and they didn’t. ten years gone. the colour red was my favourite for years. it was V’s and M’s, too, and one ov jordan’s and red’s favourite colour. i grew up and it became that hazy dream like grey blue. since then i have not been able to harness and keep love for me stable. i was a perfect child. i can’t read numbers and until i started trying to kill myswlf i still got 80s-90s in my math classes. i never scored below a 95 in english, history, art, art history, and i used to play basketball excellently and i road bikes and i raced. i ran whenever i found an excuse to. and still i was locked in thee bathroom or my nose shoved into thee wall. it just didn’t matter. and iv become thee vessel for that awareness ov meaningless. my grandfather told me he will always “love the memory of who you were growing up,” in response to me asking him if he hated me for my queerness and me and my uncle sat in stiff silence til i put on female trouble, and we laughed together, my uncle and i, because what else are you supposed to when you were born to die. when i was in middle and highschool no one would give me their connection to a smack dealer despite thee fact they had them. so i drank and took handfuls ovv valium n codeine n xanax n i dreamt thee effects were thee same. i’m 5’7” and i weighed almost 90lbs when thee pandemic started bcoz i forgot to exist and was just a wretched pillar of self absorption and narcissism, and fickle and cruel. it wasn’t til i saw M reveling in their beauty in a mirror like a thing outtuv dorian grey. surely they would die there if thee world is right but it isn’t. i was so consumed with emotions that i became real again, and felt a flood ov anger + naturally, jealousy, for their ability to like what they see. and so i stopped caring and i began cooking more. what i want right now: to shoot up, tune out, and fade away. but i don’t have that luxury. i cannot remember a time ov prolonged happiness that did not come with a warning sign that i may be dangerous to myself and those around me. i have loved so intensely and also torn so violently. i am thick with remorse and guilt for being, my good actions and deeds tracked by a shadow ov shame and guilt not for my actions or words but for thee fact that i am thee one saying them and you have to be subjected to me. i dream ov total isolation in san ignacio, where i can sweat bullets and liquor, and die ov alcohol poisoning or heat exhaustion. if you asked me, i would take 5 dollars to thee amtrak and i’d go see V herself on her helpless doorstep and wrangle some truth outtuv her. i cannot identify a loving hand. i am melodramatic and i am selfish and i am nihilistic in thee face ov mt denial [bcoz to be nihilistic would be an admittance ov failure, but there comes a time for everything, isn’t there?] i have not replied to any texts and i haven’t seen my brother in days. i’m reaching out and tugging on electrical wires that strike me. if you asked me i would ask you to dose me and tell me iv been spoken to. lock me hand in hand with someone just as destructive and let us die together; or dose me and let me die. i could tell you still. i don’t know. “this won’t hurt a bit.”

[berryunho]

omg i know how u feel i don't think i'll be graduating in 4 bc i have to do co-op terms so it delays my grad by a year or smth?? we'll see how things go

wow that's so cool!! the dedication is immaculate i would always give up after a month or so. do you know any other languages aside from eng and korean?

ooo i'm kinda the opposite like nothing really interests me outside of courses in my major or other science courses. i've gotta do some arts credits and scrolling thru them is like... okay this sounds interesting then i read the syllabus and its like readings and essays and discussion groups then im like NOPE LOL BYE

that's so funny cause i saw someone sleeping in a corner of the stairs. ppl will sleep anywhere and i don't blame them. could you imagine falling asleep near the river ugh bless

omg yes like with chem i always end up working backwards from the answer (wink wonk) to see what i did wrong and usually it's a lot 😭

it wasn't too bad! it was kinda cold but not windy so i was okay. i still brought a jacket with me cause it was windy af during the day and i thought it'd be the same at night but nope there goes my money for coat check 😭

ohh!! that sounds fun, did you manage to find anything? red hair is so nice. everyone i've seen so far with red hair pulls it off so well and i'm lowkey convinced it's a colour that works on everyone....

thank you!! i did have lots of fun : D i might've died on the bus ride back... but we don't talk abt it..........

-mightychondria

yeahhh i have to get a masters degree for the profession im aiming for so... if everything goes to plan that's six years of university and i do NOT want it to be more 😭😭 hopefully your graduation doesn't get delayed too much ??

:LKFJDKFSJD:LFKJ oh boy languages and me... lowkey obsessed w learning them SO one set of my grandparents were german and didnt speak english so i know very basic german (my dad didnt think it was important to teach me. crying screaming throwing up.) and i got to be pretty okay at finnish at one point but i've forgotten ALL of it lol and i took 2 years of latin in highschool which was very fun but again i forgot most of it KLFJSFDLJK AND FINALLY i took a couple years of american sign language in middle school but i literally remember the alphabet and basic kindness' :'] ive also attempted swedish, norwegian, spanish, and french with ... immediate failure ! hehe

i get what you mean 😭for me its not that i dislike my stem courses but i actually love reading and writing essays and stuff and i just wish i could do more of that 😭 but the majority of my stem friends definitely would agree w you LOL

ugh for real it would be so nice to sleep outside in the sun i feel like ... living out that cat/dog life ... but id be too scared of being kidnapped LKJJFSKFJKS

that is definitely the way to do chem 😭 just gotta learn from your mistakes until there are none ! i had an exam last friday and ... i should be getting that grade tonight or tomorrow so im very anxiously waiting to see how i did ...

nooooo not the coat check money... i cannot even imagine how much clubs make in the winter just from coat check like 😭 some nights at one of my local clubs its literally more expensive to check your coat than to get in 😭

sadly i still havent figured out who/what to be... i think im gonna wait to dye my hair though so that it lasts longer ... so i really dk LOL im lazy tbh so i normally go for something i can just wear my normal clothes for... and since i just finished breaking bad im thinking maybe jane ??? i dress like her irl (though less 2008) and id just need a wig LKJFS:LDJKF BUT IDK !!! do you have any costumes in mind? or any plans?

hehe im glad you had fun but ... 👀 ... how ominous ... hehe i hope your week starts off nicely !! :]

#mightychondria anon #answered

[niightbiite]

Screenshotted post by @cuppimagines

So ive had that imagine [link 2 said post] sitting in my drafts as a idea to do for awhile now.... n ive done it!!!

And in the process came up with!!! Character Lore. Kinda. Still poking at it but its pretty fun i think!!! [Lore n bonus pics under the cut]

Me trying to figure out designs + dark wizard trans. Why does he have a tenta dick? A dark spell he did had the (accidental) side effect of giving him one (and also changing a good like 50% of his anatomy into something a little more monsterous but shhhhh we're not talking about that), but honestly he'd been wanting one Anyways, AND the spell went off correctly, so he 100% won that gamble.

(HI soooo this backstory thing ended up a LOT longer than i initally expected. Have fun reading lmao)

Sooo the relationship between these two is that theyre recently reconnected childhood penpals!!! They live on two different, yet similar worlds, and those worlds have some hidden connections! One day, a hot summer day, young lil baby Cafe (the person who is Not a wizard) found one of those connections, in the woods behind their family's home. Being a weird little child (as all children are), they decided to send a letter through it.

On the other side of that connection, a few days later, DW (Dark Wizard) found that letter (and the connection) in the woods surrounding his grandfather's home, and also being a weird little child, sent a letter back through. Thus! A wonderful summer friendship was struck up between the two, and lasted for years.

Unfortunately, somewhere around the middle of highschool, DW one day simply stopped responding. Cafe held out hope for months, but soon years had passed, and they simply had to move on. Life waited for no one, and they had college to get to.

The reason behind DW's sudden disappearance is the simply fact that his kindly grandfather, the one who he had been apprenticed to for the last 10+ years, and raised by even before that, was a dark magic user. And the particular kingdom they lived in hunted dark magic users. Also in his heyday, DW's grandfather was a real powerhouse, and caused Many issues (Likely also contributing to the banning of dark magic in that particular kingdom lmao).

So uh, yeah. DW had to go on the run.

Eventually he became a powerful enough tyrant/menancing cryptid mix that folks collectively decided to stop attempting to hunt him down (barring the occasional greedy/overly confident idiot), so DW came back to where his grandfather's house once stood, and settled down there. He never truly forgot about the connection, but it took a few months before he finally worked up the nerve to pen a letter to his oldest friend. Thankfully, DW happened to finally put his letter through just when Cafe happened to be visiting home for a break between semesters.

Even though they had long given up hope on ever hearing from DW again, Cafe still enjoyed hanging out in the woods to chill out, and checking the connection was practically a ritual at this point. Only this time, there was a letter in that script, one they never could have forgotten, even if they tried.

And basically after that its them catching up on each other's life in the past few years, and sending each other lil trinkets and pictures of themselves and whatnot. Then yearning. Lotsa yearning. DW and Cafe have lowkey had childhood crushes on one another all these years, but how the hell would you tell that to a someone you've never met in person, and cant actually ever meet in person??? Plus, Cafe has tried the dating scene, and never really found anyone that interests them (they are demisexual). DW has literally spent years on the run. So they (individually) just kinda. Stew in the Yearning-Pining soup.

Eventually magic fucky ducky shit happens and connections around the world turn into fully fledged, creature permissible portals. Its a lotta chaos, but thats not the point, cause now! Now they can finally fucking hug each other!!! And be incredibly gay horny young adults together.

I dont have anything vaugely thought about beyond that point, but just know they grow old and grey (...eventually. dark magic does some Weird Shit) together.

#art biite #sketch #exophilia #terato #exo #nsft art #nsft #cafe + dw #<- thats a temporary tag bc their designs. fun. also ive thought abt them too much to let them go hxhxnduxdh #ALSO WARNING under the cut is. long. lots more writing than initally expected

[nicomrade]

😳 charlie my friend charlie if you have thoughts on him

I LOVE charlie so much hes everything and hes sooo transmasc. like .. . .... ok i talked about it forever ago on twitter but basically theres this rob mcelhenny quote that goes like "True inclusion is bring the LGBTQ down into the gutter with us." about mac coming out as gay and the logical next step from there is canon trans charlie he is quite literally already in the sewer <3 gender euphoria from charlie high pitch yelling

and.. ok so ive been rewatching iasip w my friend whos never seen it before which is like an incredible experience i keep apologizing on behalf of the show BUT anyway so rewatching the early seasons its kinda like... charlie is waay more evil in those early seasons right... or am i making that up. like doesnt he straight up attack dennis in season 1 or something.... and its not to say charlie doesnt attack people in later seasons but its portrayed as him being Unhinged rather than having a real malicious intent or something.. OH and he schemes the the gang gets held hostage episode is just charlie scheming and i love that for him so much. esp since hes also dyslexic/gets called the r slur a lot its like... charlie is still fucking smart u know. he hatches these plans and theres a reason to his madness and thats really important cause its ALL coping mechanisms AND hes very self aware he just doesnt care. he KNOWS half the shit he does is weird/socially unacceptable but he gave up on fitting in a while ago. i forgot the lore of his highschool and younger days exactly but ye.... hes always been ostracized. at one point u just accept thats ur fate, but u never stop being able to tell what is and isnt Weird u just learn to disregard it.

AND hes all in all really genuine (vs mac having that Tough Cool Guy persona, dennis ... being dennis, frank roleplaying as a poor, and well dee literally wants to be an actress) and that makes him especially vulnerable to the gangs ridicule but he still fits in with them! without having to pretend to be anyone he isnt! and a lot of his traits are just normal charlie things to them so its not like him just Existing is weird, and his weirdness gets celebrated at times! like when hes assigned wildcard, thats his volatile nature being recognized and validated in some way! and thats not something he could get from Outside Society like the gang truly sticks together cause no one else would put up w their awful shit but like.. theres still comfort in someone who knows and sees you as you really are even though theyre making ur life a living hell. a little bit. maybe. idk!

a while back i was thinking bout how he grew up being macs only friend and vice versa and i was getting emotional about it but i forgot why specifically i think its really about how theyve always had each other in their lives and they have so much shared history they intuitively understand each other a lot and they also know theyre friends 4ever basically. theyre bffs.... and charlie genuinely enjoys macs project badass stuff like theyre not... theyre not GREAT friends cause the whole gang is awful but compared to whatever the hell the reynolds have going on charlie/mac friendship is sort of sweet you know.... but its still very important that charlie acts mean and fucked up to mac and dennis sometime because its not like any of them is getting proper therapy so bullying others to cope works just as well actually 🤗

also hes so talented i just wanna say it really quick his music ! his drawings ! we love and support an artist charlie kelly u are everything ♥ ALSO ALSO charlie/dennis friendship underrated... that is all

#this is.. even less coherent than those usually are ? ? ? help #but in conclusion: evil charlie rights #thank u for the ask!!! :] flushed emoji.. impeccable taste... wallace icon........ (chef kiss) #ask #pastamansketches

[spikemelikeavolleyball]

iii : rules ( part two ) ( high low )

high low ; miya atsumu x fem! reader

i. ii. iii. iv. v. [masterlist.]

───── ❝ high low ❞ ─────

[name] [surname] was off limits--

except miya atsumu finds himself

flirting with danger and becoming

rapidly addicted to the sparks between

them.

what osamu doesn’t know won’t

kill him. will it?

───── ❝ high low ❞ ─────

 tags; mafia au, sexual content,

violence, strong  language, blood,

gore.

this chapter: alcohol,

miya atsumu (because he needs his

own warning label), suggestive content,

some violence.

───── ❝ high low ❞ ─────

three ; rules ( part two )

    Your arrival in Japan, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed. While your guard detail--see “glorified babysitters”--had reassured you that the press wouldn’t have a chance to corner you into an interview, there was still some concern over people seeing you and hurting people in order to get close to you. It had happened once, before, the hour predating your first official collaboration with Wisteria. Your guard had gotten a black eye so awful that it had lasted for weeks. He had gotten a very hefty bonus for the trouble, though.

    “I should have worn something more incognito,” you mumbled to yourself. The private jet’s bathroom mirror was floor length, so you had a good idea of how your outfit looked and what kind of presence it would give off. Most of the time, you would wear something cute or flashy to fuel your fan club’s activity--you were a sucker and liked browsing through their twitter feed on a private account--but today you weren’t feeling the energy for it. “I forgot I even had these.”

    After rummaging around in your bags for something that was comfortable, and not sky high heels or chiffon or silk or outrageously expensive t-shirts and jeans, you had come across a pair of Osamu’s old Inarizaki High volleyball sweatpants. You hadn’t even thought twice about throwing them on and rolling the ankles up to suit your height, even though the name printed on one leg and the jersey number on the other would have your fans tracking him down like the bloodhounds they were. You matched them with a black hoodie, socks, and a mask to hide the irritation underneath your nose, but even then you still stood out like a sore thumb.

    It had to be the way you stood, you thought, adjusting your stance to seem more lazy and laid back.

    It didn’t work.

    With a sigh, you exited the bathroom and found that your things had already been unloaded for you by your glorified babysitters. All that was left was your purse, which you snatched up and hooked over your shoulder, and your phone, which you glanced at and shoved into your pocket. It sunk down so far in the sweatpants pocket that you felt it bounce against the side of your thigh as you walked.

    “Nice pants,” one of your guards teased, poking fun at the name printed on the leg. “You sure you don’t want to change them and avoid the media scrutiny?”

    “I’m too tired to go back and find something else,” you hummed. One of the guards--there were three in total, at the request of Ushijima-san herself--held out a hand and helped you down the flight of stairs that were a bit too steep for your jetlagged brain to walk down in confidence. “What are we driving in today, my good men?”

    “Might I suggest the classic Phantom?” one of them joked, falling into formation when you began walking down the flight portal. “Just kidding. We’re taking the Audi today, since you want to be low profile this afternoon.”

    “Good.” You had missed riding around in your trusty Audi; not that a Ferrari or Lamborghini was something to scoff at, but you missed the frugal lifestyle you had when you were in highschool. Once your career took off, you rarely struggled for anything and college had been a breeze. Though, you had no clue what you were going to do with a nuclear engineering degree now that your modeling gig paid more than that ever would. “Make a stop for some cheap drug store coffee and we’re all set.”

    “I’ll add it to the memo.”

    Before you could open your mouth once more and ask if you could stop by a nearby pastry shop and stuff yourself full of crepes and cake, you entered the main terminal and were immediately bombarded by cameras flashing and people yelling.

    “[Name]-sama! We love you!”

    “I LOVE YOU!”

    “What do you have to say about Wisteria’s latest lingerie line? Do you think these styles should be changed to reflect Japanese standards?”

    “[Name]! What are your thoughts on the funding cuts to the women’s centers all around the world?”

    That last one caught your attention. You continued to smile behind your mask and wave, shoving a pair of sunglasses over your eyes, and mimed blowing kisses to the adorable teenage girls holding posters that had ‘you’re my idol’ scrawled over the front. You spotted Kuroo and Sayaka standing somewhere near the back, mostly due to Kuroo’s giant rooster hair, and blew double handed kisses to them as well, although the fanboys in the front thought it was for them and nearly fainted on the spot.

    You watched them sway with a chuckle, then watched Sayaka grab the kisses and press them to her heart with a goofy wink.

    “Hey, Julio?” You didn’t look at the guard as you made your way to the revolving doors in front, watching Kuroo and Sayaka make their way outside to where your car had been parked out of view. “Remind me to send a donation to that women's wayhouse charity by the end of today.”

    “Isn’t that a job for your assistant?”

    “Nope. I fired her.” You shrugged when the guard fixed you with a bewildered look. “What? She stole my nice Louboutins. And had a gangbang in my house in Calabasas, but we don’t talk about that incident.”

    The cleaning crew you had send to bleach down that place had cost you a pretty penny--but Daishou had been kind enough to text you the number of his go-to cleaners (you didn’t ask why, nor did you want to know, but you had an inkling) and had requested that you send him the number of one of your cute co-workers as payment. Needless to say, you had, and that girl had come to work brighter than a lightbulb on Christmas, unusually chirpy and walking just a little bit funny. Your text to Daishou later that day had been along the lines of,’Dear God, Daishou, what did you do, break the poor girl’s hips?’

    His reply had been typical of him. ‘It wasn’t anything she didn’t ask for ;)’

    Your face of disgust had been timed perfectly. You had been sitting outside, eating a parfait--vegan, of course, due to your diet that you planned to ignore in favor of eating all of the meat you could get your hands on (pun might not be intended)--right in front of someone taking candid shots of you for a drama magazine. Your face had been plastered all over Twitter, with some people going as far as to send hate to the nice place you had gotten your dessert from. You had nipped that little situation in the bud, clarifying it was a text that made you make that face and not the dessert, although you didn’t help things when you had been forced to eat a green tea flavored one to prove that you weren’t lying.

    The forced smile you had made to the starstruck owners had been enough to sear it into your memory for eternity.

    “[Name]!” Sayaka’s high pitched exclamation knocked you out of your fantasies of parfaits and coffee. She nearly knocked you down with a hug strong enough to make your spine pop. “I missed you so much! You have to tell me how Moscow was! Did you have a good time? And oh my gosh, you  just have to see Osamu’s shop, it looks amazing!”

    You smiled guiltily at her at that last part, but didn’t say a word. Osamu had asked you to pick out the tiling and countertops, unwilling to trust his own sense of color theory--it was really just awful--and even the tables, which you discreetly paid for and blew off as an anonymous donation. He knew it was you, of course, because who had enough money to pay for genuine marble tables, but he had been kind enough not to say it to your face. Yet.

    “One thing at a time, Sayaka,” you laughed, returning her hug with gusto. You then moved on to Kuroo, who wrapped an arm around your neck and scrubbed his knuckles into your once perfectly curled hair. “Damn it, Kuroo! What was that for? I just wanted a hug!”

    The former Nekoma captain fixed you with a mischievous grin. “That was for dropping twenty thousand dollars into our account without asking for permission.”

    Ah--another one of your random acts of generosity at three in the morning while slightly tipsy. You had Kuroo and Sayaka’s banking passwords and they had yours in case anything happened to them or you, especially with the connections the former Yakuza member had and still kept to this day. You had written them into your will, as well as Osamu, and your fortune would be split between the three of them if you died or wound up missing. Even the contract all of you signed was legally binding.

    “What can I say?” You shrugged when Sayaka looped an arm around your waist, tugging you to your Audi. “I saw that you’d been getting a little low and your college bills were running high. I decided to chip in, like the good friend I am. And no, you can’t give it back.”

    “You know I don’t like taking your money,” Sayaka whined. “I can make my own just fine.”

    You sent an accusing glance her way, followed by a glance to her stomach when Kuroo shook hands with one of your guards. She had the sense to look ashamed at not telling you, at least. “A waitress gig won’t take care of that. And while I’m sure Kuroo makes enough for both of you, I’d like to be a responsible woman and at least pay for your wedding.”

    From behind you, Kuroo laughed. “Who said we’re getting married?”

    “Yeah,” Sayaka said, her tone slightly dimmer than before. You patted her back in comfort and turned your head around to glare at Kuroo, who was only mildly taken aback by the ferocity--he only realized what he had said as you were collapsing into the backseat of your car, squeezing into the opposite window seat as your two friends followed.

    When neither of them opted to break the silence that had developed, you unlocked your phone and shot Osamu a quick text.

'Osamuuuu, what are you doing?'

    When he showed no sign of replying, you sighed and locked your phone again, turning your gaze to the couple sitting awkwardly beside you.

    “Hey, driver, can we stop by McDonalds?” You waved your hand towards the giant yellow ‘M’ down the street--which was also, coincidentally, packed with people. “I want something to eat.”

    “Yes ma’am,” he replied, switching lanes and jerking Sayaka into Kuroo. You grinned at him through the mirror and he did it again; you loved it when your guards pitched in on your plans. “Drive-thru?”

    “No, I think I’ll eat inside,” you winked, and his turn into the parking lot was rough enough to jostle all three of you. “Coffee and hot fudge sundaes, here I come!”

    By the time the guards signaled you that they were done arguing maybe an hour and a half later, you had--admittedly--stuffed yourself far too much on ice cream and piping hot syrup. It would require a harsh workout to get all of the calories off, which you knew Wakkun wouldn’t mind helping you out with since he had a game soon, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it as you popped a french fry into your mouth on the way out.

    “Are we done?” You asked, grinning at Kuroo and Sakura from between your guards. You could practically feel the stares from two men sitting at the outside tables, one of them on your legs and the other right on your face. “Then let’s get going. I need a nap before I can do anything else.”

    As you gave Sayaka and Kuroo their food--both of them grinning at you and nudging you playfully--you locked eyes with one of the men sitting at the table.

    And, unknowingly, you had just broken one of Osamu’s most important rules.

    You just didn’t know it yet.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #mafia au #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x you #miya atsumu x y/n #one sided #miya osamu x reader

[sichengssmile]

“Time gone by, (1)” chenle

Angst. Fluff.

What felt like an hour, was only really twenty -or-so minutes, the anxiety of waiting for your middleschool crush to arrive to a date that they asked you on, was washing over you in ten fold, self doubt clogging your mind with each minute that goes past, as you wait for Chenle.

When he approached you after school, you immediately doubted his actions; it was too fictional , the guy who you had a crush on since middleschool was now asking you out on a date, you, when he could have almost any girl on campus. That was who he was, well, who he became. In middle school he was the sweetest kid ever, but he was also subjected to some pretty harsh people because of his kind hearted lenience, causing him to be a constant target of peer pressure and bullying. Highschool changed all that, after he left suddenly and went away on exchange for a few months,never letting you know where he was, he came back with a new personality, new haircut and new agenda. He was no longer the boy that you would study with silently and mutually in the library, sharing occasional soft words and glances as you talked about assignments, he also was no longer the boy that taught you how to dance .

He became one of the most popular people on site, everyone immediately idolising him, his change and new persona was loved by all, and it got to his head. He swapped libraries for house parties, class for the skatepark, and you? He swapped you for his group; dreamies. Their name was given by the girls around school, referring to their dream-like attractiveness and social skills, you somehow couldnt let the old chenle out of your mind, as he was one of the only people to spend time with you. But you, you had also changed. The carefree mind you stuck to in middle school was switched for one of anxiousness, your appearence was important to you and you relied on friends. You hadnt spoken to Chenle in years, but had classes with him occasionally, never failing to hear the schoolwide gossip of who his girlfriend was this week.

You made your mind up to understand that he was no longer the boy you cared about, and that you had to move on. But when you stayed back after class, to practice a dance for the up and coming showcase, you bumped into jisung, one of the “dreamies”, a friend of chenles.

“Woah” was all you heard from behind you, before the door to the practice room closed, you immediately stopped dancing and ran over to turn off the music, fiddling with the device bedore the loud music stopped, allowing for the deafening silence to overtake the room. “How come ive never seen you before?” The boy asked, walking over to you quickly, you immediately noticed how tall he was, even though he was the same age as you. “You have” you said softly, reaching for your jacket and putting it on. “Where? How would i forget someone like you?” He chuckled, stepping closer again. “Park Jisung class 4, honour student early entry, beside one other person” you recited diligently. He seemed taken aback slightly. “Who was the other person?” You asked him softly, waiting for him to reply. “Y/L/N, Y/n?” he said almost as a question. You stuck your hand out. “Nice to finally meet you, Park”. It was as if his eyes doubled in size, surprise evident on his face. “So youre..- wait, how come youve never been to dance practice? I thought i skipped class but apparently you havent been to one?” You had been asked this by just about everyone else on the dance team, so you had an answer already thought out easily. “My classes overlap, so i dance after school, and go to my other course during” you smiled, making him nod in understanding. “Soo, like, youre pretty cute” his voice broke the silence. You had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes. “Ahah, thankyou” your confidence was crumbling as you didnt know how to act around the boy. “I dont know if you know my reputation, but, id love to take you out sometime?” He smiled, making your brain malfunction, “dude, you just met me” you said confused, making him chuckle, “i can get to know you?” He asked, going to take your hand into his. “Im good, thanks.” You began walking to your bag, stuffing your waterbottle inside before you heard his voice, “Ya jisung? Are you coming?” “Shit” you whispered, not wanting to let the boy know you were even still around, not after his pity or regret of leaving you behind. You have moved on. “Im.. in here?” Jisung seemed to be confused, not expecting to be rejected. “Whats up?” Chenle was in the room and you suddenly felt like you were suffocating. He was so much taller now, and he had a sort of confidence to him. “Nothing-“ jisung almost stuttered, looking toward you, “you sure you dont want to go out with me?” He asked, looking toward you through the mirror, chenles eyes following the youngers, finding your figure. She looks familiar. His mind was racing, trying to find where he knew this girl from. In the moments you went to walk past Chenle, Jisung called out to you, causing Chenle’s eyes to widen, but immediately go back to normal, there are so many people with that name. Hes better than he used to be, he doesnt need y/n anymore.

“Y/n wait-“

You cringed, not wanting chenle to recognise you, and to your surprise he doesnt. It kind of stung in a way, as you turned away from jisung and head out of the school, not wanting to cry again. He wasnt worth it anymore.

After two weeks of ignoring jisung at any moment, he had gotten mad, how could you reject him like that? Infront of everyone? It was embarrasing honestly. He thought back to every encounter, how chenle was always there to laugh at him, and the soft way you would look at chenle, as if you missed him, or something. Jisungs eyes widened suddenly as he realised something.

“Dude. I need you to help me out with something”

“Sure. Anything” chenles voice sounded over the other side of the phone, as he drank his juice. “I need you to invite y/n out, and stand her up. Make her the laughing stock at school rather than me.”

Chenle froze again, his juice almost slipping out of his hand as he realised what his friend wanted him to do.

“Dude? Dreamies for life right?” Jisung said over the phone.

“Y-yeah, dreamies for life. Ill figure it out” and with that he hung up, sighing to himself. He had to do this, for jisung. You probably forgot him anyway. The thought of that angered and saddened him, making him go through with the plan. You were no longer anything to do with him. He would make that clear.

That brings you to where you are now, waiting out the front of the cafe he stated, for ages. Not wanting to leave incase he turned up. But as the weather got gloomier and time flew by, any hope of talking things out, about how he left, or even him remembering who you were, was shattered. After he built you up, leading you to believe that maybe, just maybe he recognised you, that maybe he felt sorry, sad or missed you too. But no, nothing.

Your phone buzzed with a message, making your hope spike, only to fall once more.

“I remember exactly who you are and thats why I left you there.”

#chenle #chenle angst #dream #nct dream #nct angst #nct writing #nct dream angst #nct chenle #nct dream chenle #chenle writing #fanfic #kpop fanfic #chenle fanfic #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic

[mikkock]

HELLO I ADORE YOUR OCS SO MUCH WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT KAI HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL "YOUR DAUGHTER CALLS ME DADDY TOO" DOUCHEBAG AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

LBLMVBGK THANK U OMG love it when ppl like my kids, im a proud dad rn

ALSO wrow congrats on ur on point analysis, cause, that’s the Essence Of His Being (fun fact since i got two characters who go by the name of kai -cause fuck that basic writing tip that says ‘dont have two characters named the same thing- i usually refer to him as The Bad Kai cuz he a bad bitch)

so lets unwrap that dude shall we uwu 

SO this dude was created when i realised my story didnt have antagonists so i made a bunch of Bad People and then they all became good people after i started giving them more personnality somehow eXCEPt him for some reason, the only survivor of the “everyone will be baby” plague, the only rude bitch in this house, the only guy who’s still on the dark grey side of morally grey...but tbh im in love with him cause he’s an asshole and im an idiot so like.

His base concept was basically something along the lines of “fuckboy but make it Couture”, like douchebag indeed But Gotta Be Fancy at being one, gotta add a pinch of Sneaky Bitch in the pot. His aesthetic is Chillin, gettin in ur pants, then moving on for some more chillin and more pants. So if you’re into some funky sexy time with no pressure and no ties, ya gon get along, your goals meet, time to have fun.

All that is supported by his charisma, cause unless ya got some nasty history, he’ll just look like that charming bad-boy “oho hot dude with a dangerous but not agressive” vibed person, and he’s quite a sweet-talker. He’s probs not only the ‘your daughter calls me daddy’ kind but also ‘and so will YOU, i’m scoring with the whole family and you wont stop me (and you wont WANT to stop me)’ 

He got that handsome ppl priviledge ya feel

but also, he wouldnt be a rude guy if he was just the ‘i enjoy chill frick-fracking and im just so sexy that no one can say no to that booty’ guy

Dude got quiiite some spite-fueled ego and Does Not Take losing well, and will not, in fact, let himself lose on any objective he has, and when that objective is A Person, he gets ugly. Being good at sweet talking also means being good at small stuff like “not saying exactly the truth always when it would be more beneficial not to”, “deliberately using euphemistic, ambiguous or obscure language so to mask wrong doings and technically saying the truth but in such a way that it becomes completely masked by a thick fog of bullshit”, and “use words and behaviour in general to influence others unscrupulously so to get something in return”. Even a little “playing with their perception in order to make them doubt in their thoughts and selves”. In short dude got no qualms about using all the tools of manipulation available if it means that he comes on top (or on bottom if the goal was getting an assful eeeeeey we’re masters of comedy here) It tends to be all for short term results tho, so not much your ‘boyfriend who convinces you you’re nothing without him” and more of a “you thought you were dating but only you were thinking that as he always kept it just vague enough to have you not official yet convinced of his and now you’re blaming yourself for believing you were together”

master of getting ass, also master of Ugly Ass Breakups, and master of suddenly dissapearing from your life so hard that you wonder if it was just your imagination all along (he got ugly past with a bunch of other ocs especially he’s ex boyfriend with two that are now together cause i dig that sort of drama the sAME dUDe gave u the trust issues that held u from going full lovey dovey ? i fucking lIVE off that kinda shit wait until he pops back like ‘oho hello fancy seeing YOU TWO here my two fave exes together incredible what a small world”)

Though I have to rework on all that cause that backstory is oLD AS SHIT (like prolly i built it in what, 2016? ew ugly) I had that stem from some sort of neglect-fueled inferiority complex. I had given him a kinda cold family with a bunch of siblings who got Way More Nurtured due to their respective talents and achievements, having him left behind and feeling like he got nothing. SO that’s basically the explanation as of today but i dont like iiiiit anymooooore so I’ll have to work on it to make it something i dig, cause idk, bitch feels flat so far.

BUT i do intend on keeping the whole concept of ~Loneliness~, and of him working alone and quite hard for anything he gets. And the general need of proving himself that had come from the WIP backstory. I don’t exactly see him as an overachiever at all, but definitly as an obstinate and persevering hardworking guy, because “Look YALL I WAS aBLE TO DO THIS YALL THOUGHT I COULDNT HUH YALL LOOK DOWN ON ME well fuck u cause idc im better than u now also ur mum’s into bondage i kno from experience bye”. So tbh pair up with him for group projects, you’ll be sure his share of the work will be done (but also if you dont do yours then he’s probably going to be a bITCh about it, no remorse in leaving blank slides in the middle of the powerpoint and then loudly proclaiming ‘OH RIGHT This was supposed to be Kevin’s part but I suppose he never sent it to me, despite the numerous reminders i sent him, no big deal, no hard feelings, its ok sweetie we all sometimes feel too lazy i forgive u :)” )

Also he’d be Chill to hang out with for like, parties, nights out at the bar, that kinda shit. He definetly has some beans to spill about quite some people, he gathers the goss as he gathers lovers (i was gonna end that in “as he spreads legs” but it sounded too PG-18 for this good Well Behaved family friendly blog) and Will Not stay tight lipped, and Will be a bitch when trashtalking people, and It Will Be Entertaining as it always is when you’re hearing about crazy exes and you’ve had some beers. 

Now trivia that idk where else to write cause idk i stupid or more like disorganised :

- he digs red ale beer like if ya wanna win him over with the appropriate alcohol offer there u go

- he’s a fake blonde (cause my hobby is painting regrowth roots on hair)

- his design is a mixture of those 3dgy denim boys u see on pinterest and the specific brand of fuckboys that are french-L-section-chic-grunge-hipster-fuckboys (L section is like a branch of highschool)(that word combo is a so specific kinda guy)(its kinda like a softboi but more arrogant but in a lowkey way)(also they rich)(but he’s not rich so guess that should make him Less Arrogant)

-im constantly dead afraid of giving him more characteristics and story or whatveer cause he’s the only meanie i got left and i do Not want him to stop being an asshole but everytime i develop a character they end up nice or redeemed or whatever and i wanna keep him a bitch so i neglect him (just like his parents in his 2016 version wow)

he smokes (prolly started quite early to Be Kool and now relies on it for stress relief)

he’s outspoken and extraverted and prolly the guy who had a lot to say when you were doing debates in class (there’s always that person who has a Lot to argument about)(its him) but outside of a Set and Defined debate structure he probably doesnt give his mind voraciously 

he’s a law student and despite saying he’s the one bad guy left he probably wont be a corrupt lawyer or judge or whatever like come on he will do his job properly he worked hARD FOR THIS justice may be served

he’s not the kind to openly hate or even dislike anyone cause what’s the point of wasting your energy on that? its much funnier to him to be obnoxiously Neutral with someone and basically ignore them but still strike them with some Spikes of passive-agressive comments, let them be Mad at your calmness

he’s 177cm tall (that’s like 5.8 according to google)

honestly if you’re bros with him he’s fun to be with the being a jerk is completly coincidental 

he probably ranks high in the list of “those criminals who steal big lighters from their friends” 

i think at a point his design had tattoos but i forgot the designs of those so now he doesnt anymore

a dog person

i think ive run out of facts (or my brain dead) so im leavin with a shirtless pic cause my hobby is drawing tits

in short, charming asshole who can get ugly, secretly feels lonely and small, works hard for himself, better have him as a friend than as a foe though probably not the most frontally agressive enemy, and also, your booty, hand it over.

#people probably excuse his naughty behaviour bc of his looks and that's the fact

[muldur]

thanks @moltentongue :o) i love to catalogue myself

nicknames: my mom calls me liv...

zodiac sign: cancer sun libra moon

height: 5′4 & 1/2″ 

hogwarts house: ravenclaw. im not studious but the other stuff

last thing i googled: how to type height

favorite musician: idk

song stuck in your head: "hey you bastards im still here” mark kozelek live at biko

following: 1123

followers: 1187 but idk whos active anymore. ive had this account for several years

do you get asks: once a year

amount of sleep: as much i possibly can i love dreaming

lucky number: whatever number feels good. ones next to each other like theyre friends

what you’re wearing: scrubs shirt with cats on it, strawberry socks, salmon colored shorts

dream job: anything i can be creative in. maybe like, an editor but im not prepared to do the necessary schooling for that so idk. im directionless. theres some stuff im good at

dream trip: somewhere i could go to learn a new skill for making something

instrument: cant play anything. got a weird arm. wish i knew how but i dont have the gumption to learn on my own. its like a nother language. would be fun

languages: english and some highschool spanish. enough to laugh at this guy from the east coast mispronouncing laputa as la puta castle in the sky

favorite songs: same as song stuck in head. these days by nico “these days i seem to think a lot about the things that i forgot to do”. ladyfingers by herb alpert. l’amour looks something like you by kate bush. james by mgmt. hannah hunt by vampire weekend. a lot of miniature tigers songs. all these songs are really tender thats my taste

random fact: meerkats can close their ears to keep out dust and dirt

aesthetic: clown at the museum

tagging hmmm my mutuals, if you want to :^) @roastpatato , @monotreme-dream , @poothtaste , @poisonroot , @cityrat , @strawberry-lad , @tiredjulia , @jasoncorpsedotcom , @eurydiice , @wheatreader , @belleweed, @vadre (^:

[gojayson-blog1]

Autobiograpy by Jayson R. Gomez

              I am Jayson R. Gomez , I was born October 13,1999 at Brgy of Mulanay, Quezon Province . We are two siblings in the family . I am the first child . My father’s name Valentine Gomez he’s from Mulanay quezon province and my mother’s name is  Editha Rejano  and she’s from Mulanay,Quezon province . I took my elementary education at Teodoro Yangco Elementary school located at Dandan St.,Tondo,Manila and highschool at Dr.Juan G. Nolasco Highschool located at Tioco St.,Tondo,Manila.  When I was 3 years old we moved to Tondo,Manila to lived permanently .

           During weekends, we usually spend our time with bonding or hangout with family and friends . During my high school days I spend my free time playing basketball or playing online games with my friend outside of school . I was a sacristan in school who loved and serve to God everyday . Our school was only a public .

          My hobbies are drawing , playing basketball , listening any kinds of music , watching movies and playing billiards . I spend my free time with my friends . when I was a kid I had a lot of dreams that one day I become a pilot or become a captain of the ship but I have a financial problem that’s why I took business administration for my college education .

         There a lot of things I like to do , I like to fun  with my friends and playing computer online games , I like painting Im essentially interested in creating works, and theres a lot of things I don’t like to is like eating fish that I don’t know what is, I also don’t like people who smoke on front and side of because I don’t like the smell and I have a headache when I smell the smoke of cigarretes .

         And right now I shared many some of my personality and tell you some more , my personality is im friendly to anyonelse , and im a joker to class because im also funny i also had a lot of jokes , I love singing also and jamming with my friends , some of my badpoints im quite forgetful and sometimes I had a bad mood well every personality

                  We lived in manila because my grandfather’s  had a poperty in tondo , we use to lived here because its would be a great experience to work and lived in manila. Its easy to find job here because manila is land of many opportunities theres a lot of companies and the education is good as well , mostly that suit to your courses . The difference here and province that’s its hard to commute here because of a heavy traffic happens every day and every night and the bad effect of pollution is very bad in health so its hard to breath . because of traffic mostly ive been late to go to school

              Theres a lot of obstacle in life happen some of them I still have , like time management . Im quite forgetful sometimes I memorized words and after a minute I forgot the words that I memorized . And also the biggest obstacle happen in my life is lack of focus , I don’t know why but happens to me sometime but its okay because the greater the obstacle the more glory overcoming it .

            For a long time its seemed to me that life was about to begin in real life . But there was always some obstacle in the way . something to be gotten through first. Come unfinished business, time still to be served ,a debt to be paid at last it downed on me that these obstacles were my life

           Being a student is not easy, being a student is all about studies , school life requires hardwork and discipline but it can also be fun being devoted student . I have developed a routine of getting up early in the morning . The life of me being a student is a combination of joy and challenges because of the requirements  in school that need to be fulfilled , but it is also a place where things can be learned

          I am a good person as the youngest child and honest . my family raised me to be a kind, honest and have fear with god . my mother told me that never give up in my dreams and fulfilled my ambition that’s what give me strength that they trusted me and giving my guts to continue exploring things . when I was on high school I thought its easy to live but many problems come so do I do my best to become successful in the future to give my parents give all the sacrifices they gave to me .

         My biggest achievements in life is , when I walk with my mother  to stage and accept my diploma in front of many people in graduation day . That day is so special and very memorable to me , the day that im very proud of myself , because the achievement that achieve specially being an honored student is very worth it . my parents are very proud of me the joy in their face is joy to me . the achievements , successes or accomplishments we gain in school  life years . Those achievements in middle, highschool or college student life that include my personal academic achievements . it may be the greatest the best or the bad  but I never forget .

        My mother is the best mother of all time she is a cheerful,kind,and beautiful. She is never afraid to speak her mind and can be very convincing when she want to . She sometimes upset a bit too easily , but she is just as quick  to forgive and forget. I love my mom for all that she is – even when she’s angry. For all that she has done for me and for all that she’s taught me . My mom has been through a lot throughout the years, but she always kept fighting.She taught me to never lose hope even in the direst of moments, and she showed me how to look for happiness in the small things. She’s been trying to teach me to be more organized as well, but hasn’t succeeded yet. I love her for that too.

       My father is quiet, patient and calm, and he has an adorable hit-and-miss sense of humour. I may not always find his jokes that funny, but I love him for trying. Dad almost never gets angry and he is always polite, friendly and nice to everyone. He is not the one to verbalize emotions, but he always shows his feelings through sweet gestures and little surprizes. He is the pacifist in our family and never goes against mom’s wishes, but he runs a large company witha firm hand. I love my father for all these characteristics and for all he’s sacrificed to build a better life for us. He’s worked day and night to ensure we afford good education and have a rich, wonderful childhood, and he has passed up many great opportunities for the benefit of our family. I love dad because he’s taught me that you cannot have it all in life, but with hard work and dedication, you can have what matters most to you.

            Mom and dad may be very different people, but they complement each other perfectly. Together, they formed a super-team that was always there – and, thankfully, still is – to provide comfort, nurturing, and support and help me grow as a person. Their complementary personalities bring balance in our family, and each of them steps in whenever they are needed the most. Together, they taught me to believe in myself and have turned me into a fighter. Their care and dedication towards me and each other has served as an example of what healthy relationships should be like, and I love and admire them for that.

         I love my parents because they are my parents, my good friends, my heroes, my role models, my safe haven, my pillars of strength.I am who I am today thanks to them, and I know that their support and affection will play an essential role in what I will become in the future.All I can hope is that, when I have children of my own, I will be half as good a parent as they were to me.

         Life is  a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges. Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that we are destined to take. In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don't realize that at the time. Along our journey we will be confronted with a lot of obstacles and hurdles that we will have to jump over and pass.  What we go through our life and how we react to life situations determines the outcomes of how the rest of our life will be. At times in our life things won't go how we want it to go so we have two choice to either accept the fact that things didn't go the way we want it to go and let it pass or we can learn the lessons being taught by our mistakes, we should just accept the fact that life is not permanent but temporary and we just have to live one day at a time.  we should realize that time wait on no man, it does not owe us.

        As the only son in the family I was very hardworking person , That is shown through my determination and harkwork  because id I didn’t believe myself I wouldn’t try as hard . I was taught to be caring anf thoughtful . I wasn’t taught anything elsa from anyone other than not to trust people .

     I worked hard to get to this point of my life and working even harder to get to the successful and graduate part of my life.

[hayjeon]

All I Ever Wanted (m) ft. Seokjin

cr.

→ teacher!jin, enemiestolovers au aka fluff → 10k words, rated for smutty scenessss

A/N: my bio and chem teachers in highschool hated eachother bc my chem/physics teachers were bad ass bitches and would tell our class that bio wasn’t shit and we’d literally sit in class like “OOooooOOHHHHH! she said it wasn’t SHIITTTT!” bc we lived for that drama and then the bio teachers would tattle to the principle and i was bff’s with that guy so he would vent to me sometimes and it was the pettiest funniest shit EVER

also ive never written anything about seokjin so this was actually really hard orl....but i hope you guys like it! this is a oneshot, so please don’t ask me for any sequels or prequels, but feel free to ask me any questions regarding the characters, and also give me feedback about how the story went, how the smut was, how i framed the characters, etc. it’s been a while since i wrote a fullfledged fic and i feel a little rusty :’) help me out 

“Okay class, we need to focus for the next few weeks because your exams are coming up! This is your chance to show them how hard you've been working!” you say excitedly as your students groan and mumble amongst themselves.

Smiling, you try to cheer them up, “C’mon, you guys have done so well this semester and the entire country knows that you guys are the best group of students they’ve ever seen!” 

You pass out some study guides that you prepared, and turn on your powerpoint to go over the important topics for the class. “Oh, and don’t forget after school tomorrow, I’ll be holding a study and review session so you guys can ask questions and we can go over the study guide together!” 

You hear some kids sigh in relief but one of your sweet kids raises her hand. 

“Yes, Yoona?” 

“Umm there’s a small problem teach.” She looks hesitant. You smile and raise your eyebrows, urging her to continue. “Mr. Kim scheduled his study session for chem at the same time as you did.” 

You frown. “Did you guys not tell him I scheduled your bio session beforehand since last week for tomorrow?” 

Another kid, Mark, pipes in. “Yeah, we did. But...”

He hesitates, but his friends urge him on. “Mr. Kim told us not to worry about bio too much and to focus more on our chemistry exam because biology isn’t even considered a legitimate science.” 

“Okay, okay, Y/N, you’re my best teacher here, but we can’t have you coming in here for permission to beat up one of my other best teachers.” The principal sits back in his chair, having seen this before. 

“But Principal Lee!” you wail, throwing your hands in the air. “He scheduled his study session purposely at the same time as mine! And I intentionally booked that time a week beforehand.�� 

He smiles and strokes his beard. “Well, definitely we can figure out something there. Those kids would really appreciate those study sessions.” 

You nod. “These kids are the smartest kids in the country, and have been doing well at the most competitive high school! They deserve to be able to take biology without their chemistry teacher trying to sabotage their education!” 

He chuckles, “Now, now, Y/N, I wouldn’t say Seokjin is trying to sabotage their education. He’s an exceptional--heck maybe even the best-- chemistry teacher out there! He has as many teacher-of-the-year awards as you do!” 

“He told my kids that biology isn’t even a science!” 

The old man is about to respond when a voice pipes up behind you. “Because biology isn’t a science.” 

You huff and whirl around to see the cocky chemistry teacher leaning against the doorframe. “And what makes you say that Seokjin?!” 

He saunters in, taking a seat at the chair in front of Principal Lee’s desk. “First of all, biology is based on chemistry and physics. All the laws of bio are fundamentally inexistent without the presence of chemistry and physics.” 

You roll your eyes. “Are you kidding? Don’t you know that the reason why scientists began studying chemistry and physics in the first place was because they were intrigued more at the human body and its patterns?! Especially chem! You have no right to say that Seokjin!” 

He’s about to respond when Principal Lee stops the two of you. “Okay!” he yells, clapping his hands. “You two! Quiet down, I called you into my office not to make you two argue again but to propose an idea!” 

You huff and sit down, scooting your chair as far from Seokjin as you can. He rolls his eyes at you and rests his chin on his hand. The old jolly man ruffles through some packets before putting one in front of the both of you. 

“So, last year’s statistics show that a lot more of our kids are showing interest in pursuing careers in medicine. And a lot of our graduates said that their chemistry and biology classes prepared them well enough, but their hardest challenge yet was the biochem course in their respective universities.” 

You raise an eyebrow as he continues. “So, the board and the district has come up with an idea. Since you, Y/N and Seokjin, have been exceptional teachers the past five years you’ve been teaching together here, earning awards everywhere you go and always having the best ratings from fellow teachers and students, the board wants you two to come up with a curriculum together for the first ever biochem class to be offered in a high school academy prep.” 

He waits, a huge smile on his face, as he observes both of your faces. But you two don’t respond, processing the information. Your eyes scan over the pages of the packet laid out in front of you, and amongst the information about salary additions, rating improvements, and the benefits for the high school that are incentives for the work, your eyes land on a few familiar names of old students who have left personal requests/surveys to add a biochem class. 

But Seokjin responds first. 

“Alright.” 

You whip your head towards him, frowning. There was no way he would just agree to the idea without a catch. But Principal Lee cuts in. “Yes! I knew you’d say yes! And you, Y/N?” 

You sigh, turning back to him. “Yes, Principal. But it’s for the kids.” 

He laughs gleefully. “Great! There’s a meeting next week so try to come up with a good curriculum by then. Maybe think of combining your study sessions as well! That might help!” 

You don’t hesitate to give a glare to Seokjin on your way out. 

“What’s the catch Seokjin?” 

He turns to you with a frown. “Huh?”

You cross your arms. “There has to be a catch. You don’t just agree to things.”

He smirks, “And how do you know that?” 

You huff, “Oh I don’t know! Maybe it was the time you poured Butyl seleno-mercaptan down my sink drain, making my classroom smell like skunk spray for an entire week! I had to dry-clean all my clothes after that week!”

He snickers. “You’re the one who put one of your dissected frogs in my desk drawer first. It smelled so bad!” 

“Because you put Methylene blue in my drink! I peed blue for like three days!” 

“Okay, for the fifteenth time that was an accident! You asked me to get you powerade but I forgot I made a concoction and left it in a soda cup on my desk!” 

You scowl and turn towards your classroom, just a few doors down from his. He yells as you march away in your little heels that he secretly loves. “See you tomorrow at the review session!” 

You don’t know where, or when, it went wrong. You remembered five years ago, getting hired at the best academy prep for high school and entering the campus with a bright eyed attitude. There were two other teachers who were hired at the same time as you. Seokjin, the apparent chemistry genius, and the new music teacher, Min Yoongi. 

And you recall, falling hard and fast for the handsome chemistry teacher who gladly offered to drink your drinks at the teacher dinner outings because you were really bad at drinking. Or he would bring you a cup of coffee in the mornings just because he felt like it. 

The teacher of the year awards stopped mattering, it was quite easy to get those because the students here were getting sick of the older, lazier teachers and tended to enjoy the way the younger teachers framed their lessons with interactive activities and labs that made them enjoy what they were learning. You and Seokjin took Seoul Prep by storm and were dubbed the “power couple” of the campus. Students began giggling about how Seokjin would always stop by to borrow staples when he could’ve just gone to the teacher supply closet, or the way he walked you to your class every morning. And his students would bug him why he didn’t just ask the pretty bio teacher out and date her. 

But somewhere along the way, feelings developed into annoyance as prank after prank became apparent and it started becoming super important who got the teacher of the year award, and instead of walking you to your classroom, he would trip you. And instead of delivering homemade brownies after school, it was taping a ziploc with a disembowled frog soaked in formaldehyde underneath his computer desk, right where it would take forever for him to find it. 

And he never backed down from a challenge. You walked into the study session later that day with a bunch of books and packets you made in your arms, but as you stepped into his classroom, you tumbled over a small stool that was strategically placed right in front of the door. 

“Argh!” You growl as your books go tumbling and your hands reach out to brace your fall. Your heel twists in an odd angle and you yelp as you hit the floor. 

Seokjin turns from his lab station, eyes wide as he rushes over to you. “Oh shit! Y/N, are you okay?!” 

He’s still in a lab coat and goggles as he helps you sit up. You wince as you try to stand up, the pressure on your heel making you double over. He glances down. 

“Is it your ankle?” He reaches for it. 

“Who the fuck puts a tiny chair in front of the door?!” You growl as you move your ankle away from his reach and cup it in your hands. 

He bites his lip. “Uh, sorry. I thought you’d be able to see it and just dodge it or something. And who the hell wears these high ass heels to work?” He seethes, gesturing to your new pair of shoes. 

“For your information, the entire english department wears heels higher than mine! It’s not my fault you’re too busy staring at their asses and tits to realize they’ve got 5 inch stilettos on.” You grumble as he helps you up and onto a chair near his desk. 

He rolls his eyes. “The english department has carpet, Y/N. You have tile because your classes rip open animals and poke at their insides. Don’t you know that it’s more slippery?” 

You grit your teeth. “Well, bio kids don’t have a dress code like you do! Not until Fridays!” 

Your quarrel is cut off when one of your kids coughs in the doorway, and the both of you turn, faces inches away from each other, to see a group of your students awkwardly waiting outside the door. You see one of them, Mark, elbow the kid who coughed. 

You clear your throat as you back away from Seokjin and begin organizing the papers that Seokjin picked up for you. 

“C-can we come in? It’s 3:30...” Taeyong pipes up, awkwardly hanging near the entrance. 

Seokjin fixes his tie nervously. “Ye-yeah, come in. Sorry.” He turns to you as they shuffle in, chattering amongst themselves. “Uh, I’ll be right back with an ice pack for that ankle. Stay sitting.” 

You nod as he briskly walks out. 

Johnny pipes up. “Um, so when are you guys gonna marry?” A couple of students snicker in the back and you give them a glare. 

“Ugh, stop.” You roll your eyes and begin searching the computer and figuring out how to project your powerpoint onto his screen. But his is set up differently than yours and you struggle a bit, frowning as you scroll through the settings to try and find your usb properties. 

But all you can find are folders with obscure lab names on them or chemical jargon and you huff as you scroll through the endless folders trying to find yours titled, “Review sesh.” You pause and scroll back as you come across a folder with your name on it. 

Frowning, and glancing at the door and not really seeing him near, you bite your lip and hover on the folder. You’re not usually the nosy type, but you had a little feeling that this might be where he kept his plans for his pranks towards you. But instead, at that precise moment, you can hear him jogging back so you click out and return to the list of folders and pretend to be scrolling endlessly as Seokjin runs in with an ice bag and a few packages in his hand. 

Without thinking, he kneels by you, grabbing the sore ankle and removing your heel and opening one of the packages and sticking on a compression medicine pad onto the heel. You mumble as he continues, “Seokjin, it’s okay, I can do it.” 

He just frowns and grabs your ankle tighter as you squirm, glaring up at you. “Stop moving, the nurse said to just apply it and then rest your ankle and go get it checked.” 

You roll your eyes as he stands up and begins rummaging in his closet for something, and he returns with a pair of tennis shoes and a fresh pair of socks. Setting it in front of your sitting figure, he grumbles before he stands up. “And don’t wear those heels for the rest of the review session. Since it’s your right ankle, I’ll drive you to the hospital after the session.” 

You just sigh and turn back to the computer, trying to ignore the giggles and knowing smiles from your students. You grumble as you reinsert the usb and try again, to no avail. He’s currently setting up some equipment on the side, but when he sees you struggling, he walks over and leans over your shoulder to see the screen. 

“Okay, I know you’re not a computer science major but come on, this shit is so easy.” He reaches over your shoulder to place one hand on the desk and another on the mouse. With a few clicks he’s finished and you can literally feel his breath on your cheek as he opens a file and runs the program to get it onto his projector screen. He smells absolutely amazing. 

He starts the session, checking his watch. “Alright class, let’s begin. I’m going to start the chemistry portion, and for the students who don’t need my portion, Y/N has created a review worksheet for you guys to do while you wait for her to begin her portion in an hour.” He passes the stack to a kid. “And if you’re only here for my portion, you’re fine to leave after I’m finished or stay behind and work on the worksheet that I made for you guys to do. Staying would be better in case you have any questions. Any questions before we start?” 

The knuckleheads in the back chitter and Seokjin raises a brow at them. “Are you and teacher Y/N dating?” Jaehyun giggles, and high fives Seulgi. They look at you two expectantly, and Seokjin turns around to your unimpressed expression behind him. 

Smirking, he responds, “Not yet.” 

Your eyes round along with the rest of the class and immediately your students erupt into questions as Seokjin’s vague response leaves all of you second guessing. 

But he moves along so smoothly and quickly everyone quickly cedes and moves along into the study session. Except you. You frown for the entirety of his portion. 

When you get up for the biology portion of the session, Seokjin scrambles to grab a high stool from the back so that you can sit while you teach your section. You click through your powerpoint and explain the concepts that would most likely be on the national exams, and answer questions along the way. 

Seokjin sinks into his computer chair, resting his chin on his hand as he watches you from the side. You’re wearing a new cardigan, he notices, which was probably why you wore such high heels today, because they complimented the beautiful deep navy of your cardigan. He loved it when you dressed up, even though most of your outfits were quite nicely business casual, but seeing you a little more casual without your heels made him grin as he watches you teach your section. 

You were the prettiest teacher on campus, he could say without doubt. Now, he wasn’t sure if the other male teachers on campus were still saying that about you ever since the new dance teacher, Irene, came to replace the newly retired one. But you were still so beautiful in his eyes. 

Maybe what made you so pretty to him was that you were just absolutely so kind and smart and passionate about everything you did. Given, one of the things you eventually became passionate about was driving him up the goddam wall and putting dead preserved rotting frog carcasses in his desk drawers, but nonetheless, he adored your drive. 

Also he had an hour long class, five days a week, timed exactly 7 minutes after yours ended to hear his students gush about how great of a teacher you were and details about how exciting you’d made their lesson that day. He adored you as a fellow teacher. You were always positive, trusting in your students, and always pushing them to be better and offering them exciting and fun ways to learn. Before the both of you became some sort of rivals somehow, he actually enjoyed hearing you lesson plan and often would ask you for advice on his own. 

Which was why he’d agreed so easily for the biochemistry decision, amongst other reasons that had nothing to do with the folder in his computer that had detailed lesson plans that he planned to suggest to you someday. 

The review session ends quite smoothly, and the students one by one filter out through the door, collecting their things, and Seokjin lingers by the lab stations to clean up his equipment. He’d been oddly well-behaved during this session, not throwing lewd or snarky comments at you, but you assumed it was because there were so many students around.  

You notice one student lingering behind, and you smile at her. She glances around nervously, making sure everyone is gone before slowly walking up to you with a guilty expression. 

“Teacher?” She asks lowly. 

“Yeah, Yeri?” She was one of the best students in your class. 

“Um, about the science program that you talked about last week...I don’t know if I can do it.” She wrings her hands nervously in front of her. 

You frown concernedly. “Hm, why not Yeri? If it’s okay of me to ask.” 

She nervously glances around. “I-I have financial issues. My parents are both working full time to support me going to this high school and I don’t know if summer programs are a possibility for me right now. My younger brother is also planning to attend this school next year as a freshman and it’s just not possible to support both of us and the science program.” 

You sigh. The science program was for gifted students and would be a number one ticket to the best colleges in the world. The only downside to the great opportunity was its pricing and their lack of scholarship opportunities. “Hm, and you’ve talked to your parents about this?” 

She sighs. “Yeah, I know they really want me to go and do my best, but, at the same time I also don’t want to take away any opportunities from my brother as well. I’d rather just not go and have him get a chance to shine here at this academy. Coming here is an honor in itself.” 

You nod, “Let me get back to you. Yeri, you’re so gifted and I just want you to be able to shine even brighter. I’ll try to think of something we can do.” She leaves with a smile and you begin tidying up your things. Seokjin grabs his keys. 

“Are you ready to go to the hospital?” He asks, looking down at your ankles. “Put on the sneakers, Y/N.” 

You suspiciously eye him. “You didn’t put a spider in them? Or itch powder?” 

He rolls his eyes at you. “You’re hurt. I don’t mess around with shit like that.” You sit down and roll on the socks, and shove your foot in the left shoe, and then gently place your right foot into the sneaker. It’s quite big, compared to your tiny feet, and quite comfortable. You bend down to grab your heels but you have quite a lot of books in your arms and your full purse on your shoulder. 

“Here, give me these.” He grabs the books from you and your heels, shoving his phone into his pocket now to free his hands. You protest, trying to grab your stuff, but he’s way taller and already briskly walking out of the classroom with your stuff that you just sigh and follow him out with a roll of your eyes. 

His car is quite close, and he dumps your books in his backseat before jogging over and opening the car door and helping you in. You eye him suspiciously when he gets in the drivers seat. “Why are you being so nice?” 

He doesn’t look at you when he responds. “I didn’t think you’d end up getting hurt by the chair. I’m sorry.” He mutters the last part, trying to pretend like he’s focusing too hard on the calm road in front of him. 

“What?!” You screech, catching him off guard. 

He flinches, turning to you with a glare. “What the fuck? Don’t scream like that.” 

You frown at him, “Did you just apologize?” 

He laughs, turning onto a street. “I’m a gentleman. I know when I did something wrong.”

You scoff, chuckling a bit. “Wow, the world is going to end. Seriously, you should’ve thought of being a gentleman when you made my pee turn blue.” 

He rolls his eyes. “I told you it was a mistake!” 

You mutter, “Whatever.” And let him help you to the doctor’s office. Later, you find out it was just a twisted ankle and that you should try to prevent from straining it and using it too much. Which meant: no heels, crutches for a week, and definitely no driving. 

Seokjin offered to drive you home after. As he neared your home, he turned to you. “You’re joking right?” 

You frown, “What?”

He nods towards the crossstreets that you’re directing him to. “You live here?”

You nod hesitantly. “Yes? My roommate and I moved here after college. Why?” 

He chuckles a bit. “What the heck, I live right there!” He motions to the condos across the street. “How did I not know you live there? I thought I was the only one who lived in this area. We should carpool.” 

You shrug, as he drives past the gate. “Didn’t expect you to live here either. And no, Seokjin, I could never ask anyone to do that...I can maybe...call a cab?” 

He rolls his eyes. “Do you even know how to call a cab in 2018? Seriously? Do you like, never use uber or anything?” 

You shrug. “I’d never had to. I just...drive.” 

He sighs, “Well, I’ve done it before when i had to get an oil change that ended up turning into like five thousand other repairs. It’s a lot of money one way. Maybe around 30$?” 

You blanch, “What?! 30$? It’s like, a 15 minute drive!” 

He shrugs, “Well yeah, but you’re leaving around 7AM every morning at rush hour, driving through 30 minute traffic, and then having to come back. I’d charge that much if I were an uber driver.” He sees you visibly deflate and turns. “C’mon, you live right there, it’s literally going to be no extra time or mileage to carpool. Just, let me do this, Y/N. I already feel bad for putting the stool there.” 

You sigh, glancing at the distance between your homes. “Well...you do have to pass my house anyway to get to the freeway entrance...I guess I could possibly just walk out into this side of the street and meet you here in the morning.” 

He grins at you expectantly. “Perfect. Well, I’ll pick you up tomorrow, 7:05?” 

You nod, and he helps you bring your heavy books to your door and sets down your heels in your doorway. You remove your shoes and hand them to him. “I’ll, uh, wash the socks and return them to you. Thanks, for today, I guess. Uh, do you want to come in?” 

He smirks, “Are you flirting with me right now?” 

You gawk. “What the hel-- Ugh nevermind, see you tomorrow, bye!” You turn around, and he just greasily laughs and winks at you as you slam the door. You later peek out of your curtains to see him drive away. 

You sit down and sigh, picking up your phone to give a call to Yeri’s mother, trying to figure out a financial situation for her summer program when her mother tells you something.

“You know, I appreciate the concern, teacher Y/N, but I just don’t know how we’ll ever come up with that much money for this summer program. I mean, Teacher Seokjin has already been helping us so much.”

You frown, “Uh, sorry, excuse me Mrs. Kim, what do you mean?”

“Oh, Mr. Kim has been paying for Yeri’s textbooks and lab fees since her sophomore year. It’s been quite a while now.”

Your mouth falls open as you hear the news. There was no way that this was the same person who pulled pranks on you. 

When you don’t respond, she backtracks. “Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. If he gets caught he’ll be in quite big trouble. I can trust that you won’t tell anyone teacher Y/N, right?” 

You assure her, “Oh! Yes, no. I’m so sorry, I was just thinking. No of course, I will not say a word. I am very supportive of Yeri and if Seokjin didn’t do it, I would’ve done the same. She’s one of the most brilliant minds I’ve come across in my years of teaching.” 

Her mother thanks you and you scroll through your laptop later that day, trying to find some scholarships you could recommend Yeri to. But even as you go to sleep that night, you don’t forget that maybe, just maybe, Kim Seokjin wasn’t as much of an asshole as you’d thought him to be.

For weeks after that day, you and Seokjin had created some sort of routine. Both your houses were a bit away from the school, so you both began carpooling to work and district meetings. It was convenient, actually, because on days where you were just too tired to do anything, he’d offer to drive while you knocked out for thirty minutes in the passenger seat. And after your foot healed enough to be driving, he’d be grading papers and catching up on some emails on his phone or something. 

After school, the both of you agreed to stay an hour later in your classroom to answer student questions for finals and to work on the curriculum together. Students eventually ended up getting used to always seeing you together and you always got questions like “Where is Seokjin teacher?” or “What time are you both staying until?” 

And during meetings, you and him would just slump together in the back, muttering obscene jokes and comments about the other horrible fat administrators that literally knew nothing about the education system and were just there for the money. 

Despite all the jokes and the pranks, you realized Seokjin was actually a good friend. But you just didn’t know where it went wrong, because if it weren’t for those times he was such a dick, you’d be entirely down to date someone like him. Your mother would be proud that you managed to snag a catch like him. The both of you’d managed to find a scholarship for Yeri, and she was able to go to the science program and have her brother attend the school. Seokjin agreed to continue paying for her lab fees and textbooks, and you agreed to write a proposal to the district to organize a new scholarship for aspiring students like Yeri. Your mom was so thrilled when she learned about this, she wouldn’t stop talking about him.

In fact, she was the one, after Seokjin offered to drive your mom to her friends’ dinner one night when you were overloaded with errands and parent-teacher meetings, who consistently egged you to date him. He’d insisted on coming in and greeting your mom and her friends before leaving. 

“Oh, dear, Y/N, just date the sweet boy!” 

“No mom, it’s weird.” 

“Honey! He clearly likes you, and you too. He’s such a kind sweetheart, why don’t you just give it a try?” 

She was right. Although Seokjin still teased you here and there and constantly made your eyes roll upwards, he showed his kindness through his actions.

Like how he’d always hold the door for you, or carry your heavy paperwork to and from the car as he walked you to your door. He brewed you your favorite tea with some lemon and honey that one time you got the flu, and even cooked some amazing porridge for you when you weren’t feeling well for a few days after catching the cold. 

He always remembered to pack you a lunch, the plastic containers of your lunchbox always brimming with new recipes of stews, steaks, and dishes that you always shared in the teacher lounge during lunch together. His insistence, he really enjoyed cooking, from what he said. In place, you’d made a habit of washing the dishes at the sink after your lunch together and handing them back to him for him to fill. 

It wasn’t until a teachers night out, where the principal bought dinner for all the teachers to celebrate yet another year of successful test scores and student awards, that you realized that maybe, you had more than just a tiny bit of interest for the bio teacher. 

He was gorgeous, and incredibly tall. You loved the way he still towered over you in your tallest heels. And he was smooth. He literally charmed all his students, and you included, were always in awe of how passionate he got when he talked about chemistry. He was fun, too. He had a dorky side to him that you absolutely lowkey adored, not that you’d ever tell him that. 

And he was currently three shots away from passing out. 

You giggled at him, as he swayed in his seat, his eyes hooded and his lips stretched wide in a dumb smile. 

“Do you see-mmph,” he mumbles into his fist, trying his hardest to whisper in the state that he’s in, “Yoongi is so into the new counselor.” You turn to see the said teacher, gazing at the young new counselor with honey dripping from his eyes. Snorting, you giggle back. “Could he be any more obvious?” 

Seokjin giggles again as his head drops onto your shoulder. 

“Are you good at catching those kinds of things?” 

You take another swig of your beer. Your shrug makes him frown, because his head bobs on your shoulder. “I guess.” 

He rubs his eyes, looking like a little kid. His lips purse into a pout as he glares at you cutely. “No you’re not!” He drunkenly fumbles with the soju bottle as your coworkers erupt in chants to egg on the newbies that were chugging their beers. 

You roll your eyes and move the shot glass further from him. “Ah-ah, no more for you. You’ve had enough.” 

He glares at you as his long arms scramble for the glass that you hold away from him. “Give it!” 

You sigh as he stumbles, and crashes into you, collapsing on the chair. “C’mon, Jin-ie, let’s go. You’re drunk and you have class first thing tomorrow. I’ll kill you if you don’t wake up on time and make me late like last time.” 

He crinkles his nose as you help him up, “That was you! You were the one that was late.” 

You roll your eyes as he struggles to get his coat on. “Whatever. Just put this on.” 

You say your goodbyes to your fellow coworkers as they drunkenly wish you a safe trip and help Jin stagger out of the barbeque restaurant, calling an uber from your phone the way Seokjin taught you a couple weeks back, and settle into the backseat as Seokjin snuggles closer to you. 

“Mmmm Y/N...’ts cold,” he mumbles, arms wrapping around your arm and cheek pressed into your coat. 

“I didn’t know you were a sleepy, annoying clingy drunk,” you mutter, as you try not to get too distracted by his lips. 

“’ou don’t know a lot,” He breathes heavily. 

“Huh?” 

“You, don’t, know, a, lot,” he drawls, staring drunkenly into your eyes. 

“I heard it the first time, Seokjin. What do you mean? What don’t I know?” 

He rolls his eyes, sighing loudly as he settles back into the crook of your neck and breathes in. “You’re so dumb, Y/N.” 

You roll your eyes, pinching him and sighing at his yelp. “Ugh, I should’ve known. You don’t ever lose an opportunity to call me that, dontcha?” 

He grumbles to himself, but he’s cut off before he can answer as his phone rings. “Huh?” He mutters, fingers fumbling blindly in his coat pockets as he searches for the device. 

“Ugh, give it,” you grouch, hands slipping into his pants pocket to get the phone and picking it up when you see Yoongi’s name pop up. 

“Hey Yoongi, it’s Y/N.” 

Yoongi doesn’t even seem surprised when you pick up. “Oh, ya, Y/N. Are you taking Jin home right now?” 

You nod, letting Jin rub his eyes and wrap his arms around your arm again. “Yea, we’re in an uber and about a couple blocks from home. What’s up?” 

He sighs, “Shit, I was hoping you were still close by. Seokjin left his keys at the table.”

You sigh as you glance around to realize he’d definitely forgotten his keys in his drunken stupor. “Shit, we’re almost home...is there anyone who can drop it off?” 

Yoongi sighs. “I’d love to, but you two live in the opposite direction and we all took ubers here because we knew Principal Lee was gonna get everyone shit faced.” 

You sigh, cradling your phone in between your shoulder and ear as the cab slows down and pulls into the street. You smile and mouth a thank-you to the driver as you drag Seokjin out of the car. 

“Oh, yea...okay, well, we’re home now. Seokjin can just crash at my place since he doesn’t have his keys. Do you mind just bringing them over to his classroom tomorrow morning? He needs them to open the lab room.”

“Sure, see ya Y/N.” 

“Thanks!” You hang up and slip the phone into your pocket in a rush as you see Seokjin swaying. “Ugh fuck, you’re heavy.” He grumbles something and you throw his arm over your shoulder as you make your way up to the elevator. He slumps against you, his long legs supporting him as he leans against you, and you struggle to punch in the button. But he stays still, and in the quiet whirr of the elevator, you get a chance to catch your breath and look up at him. 

His eyes are closed, and his plump lips open in a little rush of air everytime he breathes out. His cheeks are tinged pink from the alcohol, and even in his drunken state, he smells so good. You sigh as the doors slide open and you drag him into your house. You drop him into your bed with a grunt, and he breathes out loudly as he snuggles into your covers. 

Groaning, you gasp, “Seokjin! Get up, you’re not sleeping in my bed with your shoes still on, that’s gross!” 

He groans and sits up, and lets you take his jacket off and throw it over your chair, and you slide off his shoes and socks too, before letting him slump down into your pillows. Groaning, you throw your blankets up over him and sit on the edge of the bed to catch your breath. You stare down at him, sighing, and reach out a hand to smooth his fringe behind his ear in the dark, and suddenly his hand snatches out to catch your wrist. 

You gasp as he catches you by surprise. His eyes slowly open, gazing up at you with narrowed and dark eyes. 

“S-seokjin?” You croak out, cheeks heating up. “S-sorry you just had something stuc--” 

“Y/N,” He rasps. 

His voice tonight is deep, and low and husky as he gazes up at you with intent in his eyes. The large hand wrapped around your wrist is firm and hot, and your breath catches as he slowly sits up inches away from your face. 

“Y/N,” he repeats. 

You just gulp at him and stare at him, entranced for a second. “...Y-yes?” You stutter. He was gorgeous. Maybe it was the couple of drinks that you’d taken earlier at your boss’s insistence that was making you so hazy. Why did your tongue feel like it was a thousand pounds? You couldn’t speak and your skin was hot and searing and your palms sweaty. The moonlight in the window right next to your bed shined in brightly, illuminated the side profile of his face, making him look even better than he’d ever looked. 

He rasps, “I promise I’m not that drunk.” 

You frown, “Huh?” 

But he doesn’t respond as he inches closer to you, pulling you closer to him by the firm grip on your wrist. Inches away from your face, he whispers, “Can I do this?” 

You just stare into his eyes, breath hitched in your throat and eyes wide open at the sudden confession. 

His hand releases your wrist, coming up to cup your cheek, tilting your head up to look at him better. “Say it, Y/N. I won’t do anything until you say it.” 

Your brows furrow as you think about all the ways this could go wrong. You were co workers, partners in planning the new biochem course, practically neighbors, and he was also slowly and surely becoming your best friend. 

Best friend. 

Your lungs deflate as the thought crosses your mind. 

He was your best friend. This could go wrong in so many ways, but if he was truly your best friend, wouldn’t anything that happened after that be fine, because he would understand? Because he would still care for you? 

So you muster up the courage and whisper it. 

“Yes.” 

He breathes out, as if he were holding his breath, and swoops in, sealing your lips on his. The kiss is slow, and calculated, different from what you’d expected after his 5 shots in a row he took earlier. The kiss is smooth and slow and deliciously intentional. He tilts his head, getting a deeper angle as he licks into your mouth. You sigh into him as you scoot closer and move a hand up onto his broad shoulders. He groans at that and curves over your body, a hand coming onto your waist to press you against him even more firmly. He doesn’t stop kissing you. 

Your lashes flutter when he licks into your mouth again. He was such a good kisser, licking and moving his lips cleanly against yours like he has no rush at all. You’re losing yourself, mind completely hazy and lost with everything about him. His lips, the taste of mint and the tinge of alcohol on his tongue, the feeling of his strong figure underneath his sweater, the smell of his cologne, it floods your senses underneath your closed lids, and it doesn’t let you think properly. He deepens the kiss even further, his tongue moving forth from slight kittenish flicks a little into your mouth, onto heady and steady tastes of you, insisting behind your teeth and tasting you. 

When he detaches from your lips and kisses down your cheek and jaw, you moan, completely lost in it. He moans in response as he presses desperate but gentle kisses down the column of your throat, fueled by your husky groans of desperation. “S-seokjin,” you stutter, blinkly thickly as you try to break out of the haze. 

“Hm?” He mutters into your neck, but the feeling of his breath over the places he was just kissing make you shiver. As if sensing your approval, he moves back to your lips, throwing you into a loop of happiness and lust all over again. You’re thankful the both of you are sitting because right now, the hand twisted into the shirt your wearing and the other one anchored on the back of your neck are the two things that are keeping you from just melting into a puddle of nothing. 

You’re just sitting there, trying your hardest to keep up with his kisses, when he grips your chin and detaches from you, lips shiny and glistening as he narrows his eyes down at you. Your lashes flutter as you come out of the haze of the moment, smaller hands coming up to grip his wrists as they hold your cheeks. 

He’s breathing heavily, another testament to how thoroughly he’d kissed you, in addition to his blown pupils and swollen lips. You blink up at him. He takes a few more seconds, just looking down at you hard, and huskily asks you, “A-are you sure you want this?” 

His question carries so much weight in it. But even before he can ask again, you’re leaning in, whispering “yes, yes,” and he relents, understanding immediatley. His large hands rake down your back and settle on the small of your waist, lifting you slightly and helping you curve closer to him and clamber on his lap.

There’s something prodding against your inner thigh, and you sigh into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck at the sensation. It’d been so long, since you were last kissed or even held like this. Your fingers are scratching at the nape of his neck, and he groans as you do, loving the sensation. 

The sound pools straight in between your legs and you become embarassing conscious of how wet you are. Cringing, you focus on gripping the hem of his sweater, and carding it up over his head. When you break away from him to get it out of the way, he lets you take it off of him, but immediately grips your hands from undoing the buttons of his dress shirt underneath. He kisses you fiercely, letting go of your wrists and finding the waistline of your skirt, where your blouse is tucked into. 

You help him, raising your arms over your head as he untucks your blouse and discards it to the floor. You’re kneeling above him, hands finding purchase and balance on his shoulders, trembling and unsure of what to do when Seokjin keeps kissing you with your now bare torso pressed against his still clothed one. 

Somehow, admist the kissing, he’d removed your bra, and your nipples are bare and cold and hard against the soft material of his shirt. He cuts off the kiss, wrapping a strong arm around your waist as he mouths along the skin right above your breast, nipping and licking the soft skin there with soft kisses. 

He breaths in heavily when he reaches the center of your chest, closing his eyes and muttering a low, “Shit.” The other hand slowly comes up over your waist and rests right against your ribcage, centimeters away from your breast. “Fuck,” he mutters, and you grow infinitely more wet. You’d never heard him curse like that before. 

And there’s no warning when at once, he swoops down to nip lightly at the swell of your breast and suck onto your hardened nipple, this other large hand coming up to cup your other breast, thumb swiping over the nipple and holding the weight of your breast in it. 

“O-oh my god, S-seokjin,” you whimper, head dropping low and curling into him in morbid embarrassment at how good this feels. You’re hot and burning all over, all of your sensations and emotions at the moment focused in the place where his mouth is sucking, licking long and warm licks over you. “O-oh my g--” All you can croak out ugly, are moans and croaks of his name and very in-comprehensive strings of words. 

When the sensations become too much, and the wetness in your underwear becomes uncomfortable, you regretfully detach him from your breasts and tilt his head up to yours as you kiss him desperately. He groans into the kiss, reading your arousal easily. “Fuck,” he whispers against your lips, “do you want this?” 

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whimper, shaky fingers undoing his shirt. “I’ve never wanted anything more in this world.” 

His eyes widen at that. “Seriously?” 

You nod, biting your lip as you finally get the shirt open, your eyes widening at the expanse of skin that’s revealed, and you smooth your hands over his torso. He was so chiseled! He didn’t have an Abercrombie-worth model six pack of abs, but the faint lines in his chest and his abdomen were the perfect mix of Seokjin and attractiveness that made you moan like an animal in heat and grind down onto his hardness. 

At the motion, he groans, gently gripping your hair and moving it to the side to mouth at your neck again. His other hand grips the hem of the dress shorts you’re wearing and unbuttons it quickly. Your hands card his shirt down his arms and out of the way, and you stand up away from his lap to yank your shorts down and away along with your underwear. 

He drops to his knees like a starved man, zeroing in on the wetness that pools in the crotch of your underwear right before you kick it out of sight. From his position on the floor, he looks up at you, eyes blown wide with lust, “Fuck, you’re so pretty. So fucking beautiful and gorgeous. I’ve dreamed about this moment for so long.” 

You sputter, clenching your thighs together at the praise, almost buckling down again at the wave of arousal that rushes through you. He leans forward, kissing down over your ribcage, and down your stomach, you watch him with furrowed brows and unfocused eyes. When he ghosts near your core, you stutter. 

“Seokjin w-what,” 

“Please,” he breathes out, deatching from your skin like it pained him and gazing up at you with a hunger like you’ve never seen before. “Please let me taste you.” 

You almost pass out, your knees buckling and immediately Seokjin scrambles up to catch you, strong arms around your waist as you slump heavily against him. 

He chuckles, a low laugh reverberating through his chest thats pressed against your cheek. “I’ll take that as a yes?” 

You nod sheepishly, and he laughs again. “We’ll sit. Maybe standing wasnt a good idea.”

You nod again, cheeks burning hot and hands coming up to frame them as he turns the both of you and walks you backward until your knees hit your bed. You fall with him and immediately he curves over you, all broad torso and hot skin and kissing you senselessly again. 

His fingers smooth down your torso and slide over your pelvis, slipping his fingers in between your folds and parting them, rubbing down and up to collect your wetness and smear it around your clit. Your lips part in a surprised cry as your eyes squeeze shut. He chuckles at your reaction, detaching from your lips and crawling down your body as his fingers continue to rub intently at your clit. 

Your legs are useless at this point, sprawled around, so he grabs them and slowly maneuvers them up and over his shoulders as he situates himself between your legs. He kisses your inner thigh first, mouthing at the thin skin there, breathing in the heady and sweet scent of your skin first. He then lowers his mouth on you. 

“Oh m--” you’re a mess when he finally sucks your clit into his mouth and slides his fingers into you in one single motion. His fingers are slender, but long and skillful as they slide into find the exact spot that has you keening and arching up from the bed to inch towards him. His lips are thick as they seal over the entirety of the warmth between your legs, sucking and kissing and licking like he was made to this. He groans at the first taste, head reeling at how perfectly close you tasted, just as he’d imagined. He sucks at the slick arousal coating you, replacing it with the slickness of his saliva, and alternating long lasvicious licks with heady and firm circles over your clit. 

He continues with intent, paying no regard to your twitching body, but instead using your cries as fuel as he kisses you even more firmly and twists his fingers in you until you’re pushing him away, scared that you’ll cum too quickly. 

“W-wait, wait,” you stutter, eyes closed as you focus on calming your twitching your body, “g-give me a second.” 

He chuckles, and nods, waiting for you for a couple of seconds to stop twitching. “You’re so cute” he breathes lazily, watching you sitting upright as he lays down between your legs with his chin in his hands. His fingers are drawing slow circles in your thigh, and you give him a sheepish smile. 

He keeps talking though, “You’re amazing, I would never trade this for anything else, you taste so good. Fuck.” He mutters, and you squeeze your eyes as you grip his hand to stop all the sensory influx of arousal. Your core clenches around nothing as intense and heady waves of arousal pour through your body and shoot straight to your core. 

You drag him upward and kiss him intently, trying to distract yourself. He chuckles and lets you kiss him, and when you finally feel yourself relaxing a little, you somehow manage to say, “P-please, just--” You can’t seem to say it, blushing heavily and cutely muttering to yourself, so he helps you out. 

He grins and takes off his jeans and covers your body after, and helps you get comfortable against the pillows. Your mouth is so dry and you swallow thickly to dry and clear your mind, but then he grips himself and lines up with you and you lose it. 

“P-please please please,” you jumble out, garbling like a mess of emotions and syllables that you can barely understand over the haze of your emotions. “Please,” you cry, feeling like if he doesn’t put it in you, you might die. 

He takes a moment, brows furrowing at the effort of taking it slow. “Y/N, I--” he croaks out, holding himself inches above you with an elbow next to your head. You nod, hands smoothing over his cheeks. “I...I am so happy right now. I will never ever never hurt you. I promise...and I imagined for so long,” he chokes out and stumbles on his words, but you get exactly what he’s saying. You nod, smiling dreamily up at him, because at this moment right now, he’s everything and all you’ve ever wanted in your life. 

He smiles thankfully at you and presses in slowly, agonizingly slow. But he’s careful and slowly curves insistently into you until you’re gasping and clutching onto his shoulders because it’s so hot and wet and tight and you feel like you’re going to die and fall apart right that moment. 

“Shit,” he says hoarsely, sweating from the effort and weakly grinning down at you. “Y-you feel so fucking good.” 

You nod in agreement, not being able to produce any coherent words at this moment. And Seokjin also takes it as a sign to move. He pulls out slowly, scraping at the front walls of your core and then fucking back deeply and back in again. You throw your head back into the sheets next to his elbow in pure ecstasy, moaning loudly as he repeats the motion, building momentum and speed. 

An arm leaves the side of your head and curls down to grip your thigh and hook it up over his hip, and you cry out as the head of his cock prods the spot in you that has you clenching down and trembling with a hoarse cry of his name. He moans loudly in response to your tightness, his voice cracking at the effort of trying not to cum too early. To distract himself, he leans down and mouths at yours, swallowing your moans and cries. 

When you quiet down, he continues to grind against you, fucking deep and slow into you so that his cock hits your spot with every stroke and it’s only a few strokes into it that you feel it coming. Your lower belly clenches with tension, the rush of hormones and emotions through your head growing louder and more hot as he groans into your mouth at your tightness. 

“I-I-” you cry out, detaching from his mouth at the approaching orgasm, “I’m gonna c- oh my god, S-seokjin, I-I love you so much,” you cry out, clutching at his shoulders as his rhythm speeds up to match your declarations. 

He groans into your neck as you spasm around him, crying out his name and back arching into his chest as you’re thrown over the edge roughly, the heat and wetness rushing through you, throbbing around him. He grunts as he continues to grind against you through it, thrusting once, twice, before he too is thrown over the edge at the sensation of your tightness and wetness. You’re still shaking by the time he’s sane enough to talk, eyes shut and trembling in the subsiding waves of your orgasm. 

His cock is hard and deep in you, and you’re so relieved you might cry, finally being able to orgasm with someone else after years of having to put up with your clumsy fingers and boring porn videos. He’s so perfect, and so good, and the perfect size for you and your body. He leans down and kisses you as he waits for you to come back, thumbs swiping away the tears that slipped past your lids, lips gently swiping against your open mouth. 

His hand comes up and presses firmly against your chest, rising and falling with the heavy breathing that you’re doing, waiting until your breathing calms and your eyes flutter open to blink up at him. 

He smiles down at you. “Me too.” He whispers back, and new tears pool in your lashes because you know exactly what he means, and it meant the world to you. When you don’t say anything in response, he assures you, “I love you, Y/N. So much I thought I was gonna die if I waited another day to tell you. I’m sorry you beat me to it.” 

You shake your head, crying tears of joy as you wrap your arms around him and pull him close to you. You’re crying and laughing and kissing him which is pointless because he’s smiling and laughing so much that you can’t even kiss him properly. But it doesn’t matter. 

Nothing matters, except him. 

2 years later

“Guys,” Seokjin calls, and the class quiets down as he stands, tall and happily in the front of the room. You watch him from your desk in your shared classroom. Today was the last month of school, your students now seniors and in their graduating year, ready to be sent off to amazing universities and programs for their futures. 

It had been a great 2 years of wonderful dating. There had already been a hundred rumors going around as the students watched the both of you interact, and it was no secret that there was something. But this was the class of students who had been there through it all, from when the fued had started as the both of you pranked each other, became partners and co-taught a class, helped students through their programs and exams, and eventually became best friends and lovers. You thought you owed them an apology for telling them so late and giving them the truth that indeed, the both of you were dating. 

He’d been enthusiastic about it too, for some reason, and had insisted that you do it on the day of their graduation, with the specific class clustered in the classroom like right now. 

You rolled your eyes as he begins speaking. 

“Well, I’ve heard a lot of rumors circulating around the school that Ms. Y/N and I are dating.” 

Giggles and whistles erupt around the room as the students laugh and tease about it. 

He quiets them down. “And I just want to say, yes, we are dating.” 

The room erupts in screams and yelling as the students jump out of their seats in cheers and yells and high-fives at the news. You grin sheepishly from where you’re sitting, too shy to try and do whatever the hell Seokjin is doing. 

“But!” he yells, and the students quiet down. 

“We’re more than just dating! I really really really love Ms. Y/N!” 

You widen your eyes as he turns to you, and the class begins to grow restless as they watch him walk up to you. “Y/N, you’re my best friend, my partner, my girlfriend, my favorite person to watch The Office with, the best driver I’ve ever known, and the best teacher and educator I will ever know. But one thing is certain, is that all of these qualities are why I love you so much, because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and that’s all I could’ve ever wished for.” 

You sit there in shock as he gets on one knee in front of you and holds up a ring. “Will you marry me?” 

The class erupts in cheers as you tearfully nod and throw your arms around him and immediately the doors of your classroom bang open and all your coworkers and friends and family are there to cheer along with you as you hold onto Seokjin. 

He grins down at you amidst all the loud cheering and whooping and yelling, and pecks you on the lips. “I love you so much.” 

You wipe your tears, mock punching him in the shoulder. “I thought you were gonna just tell them we were dating, moron.” 

He laughs, not even minding. “I wanted everyone you love to be there. Like you’ve always wanted.” 

You smile and nod, leaning up to press your lips against him again, ignoring the cheers and whistles in the background. 

“I love you too. You’re all that I’ve always wanted.” 

#bts fics #bts smut #bts fluff #bts jin #bts fanfic #jin #writing #fics #smut #fluff #wow this took forever to write... #i think i planned this story last summer #sorry this took so long #but i like how it eventually turned out #pls let me know what you think! #i feel like i might have rushed the ending but if i didn't do that i would've never gotten this out LOL #be honest! :D #and like always #thanks for reading #and for being patient with me #i love u guys

[pineyyyy]

2018.

A year of roller coasters. Taught me a lot. I would say that this year was not my year. Ive been through a lot. Started with few months after finishing my spm, got my license for both motorcycle and car after few months struggling at that one hell place that I hated so much yet Im still that coward dumbass to drive the car. Everyone knows that. Sometimes I wish I did not have that anxiety when driving but idk...... I think I had great time relaxing and not doing anything after my spm. And not forgetting, my highschool friends made it super fun when we spent time together. But i am still that one useless daughter at home. Im sorry for being one, for not cooking eventhough all i ever did was scrolling through the social media. Got a job but refused to go because i thought that this was the only time i got to spend with my parents because im leaving home real soon. Got my spm results, 6As 5Bs.. everyone was hoping for more including me.... but that was just not my rezeki. I felt all my dreams were destroyed the moment i got that result but alhamdulillah got so many offers that i applied for. Upm asper, matrics science, kmku sc, dip acc kpm beranang, interview for cat-acca. I was in dilemma which one should i go for. Lastly...... my heart actually wanted kmku so bad because i wanted to drop physics bcd im suck in it, upm was a good idea too i think both of my parents would want me to go there but since my dream was to become a dentist, I rejected all and chose matriculation that was never in my list after all. Plus matric was the only way for me to make a comeback. Last minute decision got me to do everything in just one day and I went there... It was fun because you still got your highschool friends but no longer until today.... First impression of my classmates were boring.I was not being myself. I love to laugh and make silly jokes but that class was just lame. We just dont have chemistry. Alhamdulillah survived semester 1 but it was really really damn hard. I kept on feeling sick,homesick,loser in class and many more negative feelings. One of my dreams was to enter any abroad school but thanks i just wanna stay at home from now on. Final exams were damn difficult and i was just hoping to pass. Got my muet results and final results on the same day. Deep in my heart, i hoped this time is my rezeki eventhough I could not do well in exams but then I forgot Allah only helped those who helped themselves at the first place. Yes i studied my all my efforts were last-minute-efforts. And the outcome was band 4 for muet and 3.17 only for final exam. It was my fault after all. I know i have to say goodbye to all my DREAMS, dentistry jordan wadi mujib wadi hidan JUST dead sea, thank you for coming into my life. If Allah wills it, we will meet one fine day. My time of study in matriculation was the toughest i would say. I had hard time trying to understand because idk what was wrong with me why cant i received all the ilmus why is it so hard for me to understand i felt like i am the stupidest ever in class. Sometimes I wish Allah shows me what i actually did wrong... So i can improve myself. I know my parents were disappointed eventhough they kept on supporting me to do better in the future. Semester 2 was okay.... my classmates had improved a little bit but not the same like it used to be during my highschool year. they were still boring. I met a lot of new people with weird behaviours that sometimes i felt so annoyed. They tend to point out my physical appearance, my flaws and kept on trying to underestimate me and make me down. Plus boring too. Did not match my attitude that sometimes i wanna have some fun. But its okay as long as they did not influence me to do something bad then it would be fine. As time passed by, I realized my highschool friends were getting apart. Everyone had new friends. I dont mind but this one best friend of mine was not there when i needed her and only came to me when she had something to ask regarding maths and when i have food.i guess thats just life. People change. Maybe i was the one whos toxic.

[melissa-dump-posts]

hello, eto ako mag gagather ng thoughts, try kong iorganize ang buhay/trauma/shits ko sa buhay hays na hindi naman ako ang sumira. yawa

first of all, ganito ako in every aspects, masungit, maldita, laging galit, has no patience, passive agressive attitude YET SO KIND to people who don't deserve me.

masungit and maldita ako??? yes i admit it. im also picky with who i talk and associate myself to. but why am i like this??? bcs of my fucking trauma, in the facade im tough but inside im so broken like a piece of shit. it was to pretend that im tough and i dont need a fucking help from anyone but i'll admit it,,, sobrang nakakapagod to pretend,, kaya sometimes i just cry for no freaking reason. argh. WHY I DONT SEEK HELP??? bcs when i was still child, no one ever helped me to get my needs and wants. I remember i can go the school with myself ONLY, AND DO MY freaking assignments and reviews by MYSELF. yes, no one taught me while studying unlike other parents who guide their children. But, i dont regret that i have been treated like that at least, somehow i know to stand on my own HOWEVER it was so SOBRANG NAKAKAPAGOD AT NAKAKAUBOS up until now naman, it was my defense mechanism to be independent kahit hindi HWHAHAHHAHAHS HAYS YOKO NA SA LIFE.

laging galit??? yes, its the pandemic effect for me, my patience was tested - actually all, my physical and mental health was so tested and my will to live. why am i always mad??? actually i dont know din, but it depends, lets categorize my galit or hatred:

first, my hatred towards men. haha, i actually dont hate men back then, but some guys actually madami sila, when they crossed the lines and FORGOT THE WORD 'RESPECT' that's when my hatred towards them build up. hahahha kaya u dont get to question why i always hate men, kasi good 4 u, you were not treated as low as i was treated by men. hahahha good 4 u. knowing that some of that men who disrespected me was my fucking so called friends.

passive agressive attitude?? wala kasi pagod na akong maging mabait minsan, bakit hindi ko ibalik sakanila??? but still, i never did naman. i never gave back the trauma they give to me. mabait parin aq sakanilang lahat after all the shits ive been through. hahaha hays, its just that this is all my fucking ✨ DEFENSE MECHANISM ✨ ako parin naman to si melissa na nakilala niyo from highschool, but hard on the outside and SUPER SOFT AND IYAKIN SA INSIDE. :((((( and i fucking hate myself for that. .

HAHAHHAHAA pero mukhang di ko to masosolve lahat ng trauma ko if i still have contact or mabait parin ako sakanila. BUT KASI I ALWAYS REMEMBER AND PINAPAHALAGAHAN ANG FUKCING ✨ FRIENDSHIP ✨ THAT WE HAVE imagine 7+ years na kaming magkakaibigan myghad. :///

IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO LET GO AND CUT OFF PEOPLE SO PLS JUST CUT ME OFF OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

BUT I KNOW IF WE BOTH CUT OFF EACH OTHER, I WILL BE SO MISERABLE KASI I LOVE THIS FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH TO THE POINT THAT I ALWAYS LET SLIDE THE DISRESPECT I GET FROM THEM. PRETENDING IT WAS FINE. I DONT KNOW DI KO NAMAN NAAYOS TONG TRAUMA AND SHITS KO SA BUHAY ANG GULO GULO.

[baekyeol-fics]

[Fic Search] #23

1. I read this fic on AFF a few months ago, but I can’t find it anymore. It’s about this world where some people are considered less than people and called “trash” Baekhyun was one of them and became a servant to Chanyeol. Chanyeol made Baekhyun do stuff just to mess with him, but he eventually fell in love with him. I hope this is enough for you to help me find it. Thanks!

2. Hi i an looking for a fanfic i had read a while ago but i forget the title it was about baekhyun and luhan being brothers but they didn't know and one day baek get pregnant and they all were shocked because he's male and cant get pregnant but then luhan get preg also and the doctor said they are special same as their parent (i guess the parent was jongkey) i think its hunhan fic and chanbaek as side pairing 😓

3. baby put a ring on it (draft status) hiiii ive been following your account for a long time now. Thank you for keeping it active at most times lmao. Anyway, this is just a dumb question bc i just reread this like last week but cant find it haha. Baekhyun was wearing lip gloss at that time, he's in the car with yeol and then yeol pointed it out then commented about baek's habit of smoking and he wants to stop bc he doesnt want the taste of it when they kiss? I think this is the chapter 1 of it lol or was it a one shot? Idk. Thank you

4. More power to y'all admins! Anyway, i read this recently and i forgot it. I dont remember much about the actual plot but i do remember the scene where baekhyun had a lot to drink the night before and chanyeol brought him home? The morning came and baek had a massive headache and urge to puke but yeol is there to give him water, with a straw. I think baek likes to do have hookups too in that fic

5. you belong with me I was looking for a chanbaek fic. Baek had a gf but was dumped before prom. Baek attended prom but left early. He was found by Sehun and friends who were motorcycle riders. Baek became a prize for the race and CY won. Please help. :)

6. Hey! I finally got my chance. I've been trying to recall this fic and I'm pretty sure it's from AFF. It's about CY being a CEO while BH was his husband and secretary and they were a having a steamy scene at CY's office. I really wanted to read this fic again but just can remember the title. Btw, thank you for all the your effort in running this site. Thank you really!

7. Hello!! I've been looking for a fic, it was highschool!au and chanbaek were kind of fwb I think and one night Chanyeol sneaked in Baekhyun's bed through the window to cuddle with him (or something along these lines). Thank you for your time!!

8. Odd hewwooo im looking for a royalty au where baekhyun is a king and he has a wife but has an affair with chanyeol??? i remember that theyre also twins like chan and yeol. the twins and baekhyun are also siblings if i am not mistaken. thank you in advance uwu

9. Something Borrowed hi! i asked before i feel like my description was all over the place lol im looking for a best friends to lovers fic where chanyeol kept his feelings from baek but then baekhyun started dating either sehun or jongdae and i think at baekhyuns party, baekhyun was being really mean to chanyeol and then chanyeol confessed to baekhyun out of heartbreak/anger and then baekhyun realized he had feelings for chanyeol. i think it may have been on ao3 or aff but im not sure :(

10. Hello! So glad it’s open again, and I’ve been waiting to ask this but do any of you lovely admins know a fic where.. well I don’t remember much, but it was a really angsty one shot. Pcy was begging bbh to let him go so he can move on because bbh doesn’t love him anymore and bbh has moved on so pcy wants to too. But bbh makes him stay almost everytime and gets to have smex with him, until it’s revealed that bbh still really does love channie but has major problems. Yeah, um, it’s a oneshot. Thx!

#fic search #baekyeol #chanbaek #{ please reply or submit the fic if you know it!

[apocahipster]

here’s just some author’s notes for the huge taz fic i finished today

you can read it here if you want

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13468608/chapters/30877473

Author’s notes,, i haven’t proofed these so, apologies ;000

 Wow. Huge. This is literally the biggest thing ive ever written to completion. I had the whole fic planned before I uploaded the first chapter, and to accentuate the planning I had a 100+ page document of notes and also had an excel sheet which looked like this:

(the yellow on the left means summer, and blue when it was winter. The second column is day of the year, third important dates. On the right is the events which I highlighted yellow as I wrote them)

and like this

Its also the first fic I decided to upload as I wrote each chapter because I knew it would take about a year to complete. I wanted fan support (which I got and loved <3 ) and I didn’t want to sit on the whole thing and constantly re-write it and end up hating it and never publishing it.

So the way this fic began is I was listening to TAZ balance for the first time and as I different scenes or dialogue occurred I started taking notes on my phone for how they would translate to a high school setting. This whole thing started around the time I was at crystal kingdom and ironically, that’s were im up to in my relisten at the time of publishing the last chapter.

The other, very original, formative idea for the fic was this:

Magnus beats up kids who are homophobic to Taako as a way to cover for the fact that he is also bi // Thinks he’s straight and overly supportive of his gay friends

 Similarly, in the original idea, it was going to be Julia who had died, not magnus’ dad. There was a really depressing scene where magnus spent the day with Julia’s parents.

Another formative idea was,

My name is Taako, you know, from Instagram.

And I suppose in the end this was the most impactful because I decided that I personally specialise in writing comedy based things. I wanted this to be a light-hearted fun fic.

In the original fiction, Travis and the other McElroys show regret that Magnus’ story is formed around the death of a woman (Julia). Similarly in sensitivity to the McElroy’s personal background I decided that this was not the right thing to write about. But I also wanted this story to be a magnus emotional journey. By choosing his dad as the character who had died I could keep many things planned such as magnus’ one year gap, Fischer as a therapy fish, Magnus’ aggression etc.

My favourite TAZ character is magnus, if that wasn’t obvious. But ironically, I feel like of all the characters his dialogue is the most OOC. While I tried to keep his thought-logic and actions to Magnus I don’t feel like magnus would say 99% of what my magnus did. Conversely Taako seemed like one of those characters who would be hard to pinpoint but I actually found him easiest to write.

Taako’s magic stone which ultimately ruined the play was introduced as I felt I was focusing too much on Taako’s appearance and not the fact he is incredibly smart and a brilliant wizard.

So I decided to make this fic mostly lighthearted. I wanted to squeeze as many highschool tropes in like the gigantic party, the school play, the football match. The last chapter has a scene in a class for every subject as I felt like I somewhat forgot to write them ever being in class for a large chunk of the middle section. But then again no one really want to read about school do they?

I almost always write my stories to a song, but in this case it was an album. Vance Joy’s Dream Your Life Away, and while I love the music I never want to hear it again for like at least a few months. I would play the whole album every time I sat down to write this thing. It set the summer-time mood for the fic. If you listen to the songs youll probably find places where each song inspired bits of the fic.

The first song Wind’s of Change begins with the like ‘I miss you more than you could know’ which began the driving idea of Magnus dealing with the loss of his father. The song ‘first time’ begins with a line about jumping in the neighbours pool which obviously… inspired magnus jumping into a pool. ‘The best that I can’ inspired Magnus and Mr Waxmen’s interaction. I love the idea of a teenage boy who keeps doing the wrong thing, feeling shame in himself and in his mentor and trying to get better.

The song ‘from afar’ was initially Taako’s song. This whole fic was going to be a Taako / Magnus / Kravitz fic where Taako convinces Magnus to take care of himself and Magnus realises Taako is in love with him and this helps him discover he’s bi and it was super dramatic. There was (an still is) some Magnus / Kravtiz scenes too mostly in the form of flirting.

As I stepped away from this being a ship heavy fic this song became Lucretia’s song. Lucretia’s unrequited love to Lup was mostly written from the heart, and I’m so sorry to Lucretia stans, she deserves all the GFs in the world. But I felt this was a very powerful thing to write in a teen story.

Taako’s fear of LDR is also taken from the heart. In a way this whole fic was a serious vent from my high school experience. Similarly as I am now 21, I didn’t feel comfortable nor did I even really conceptualise any NSFW scenes for this fic. It just didn’t seem to have a place. Besides, sex is in almost all other teen movies and books. I also wanted to keep weed out of this one bc I personally hate how drugs are in every teen story.

I actually had a planned acronym for the IPRE, the Insufferable Prick Resistance Ensemble, and a short backstory that Magnus Taako Lup and Merle formed the group in their youth to complain about annoying classmates.

Writing Lydia and Edward was the worst. I don’t know how to write cool and sassy kids. Me at me: don’t make me do it again.

 Heres the entirety of my prepared barry notes:

Barry

-Oculus, opens portals?

-Likes pretty girl?!!?!?!

 I had a planned thing for how each of their grand relics could play into the fic but it was far too much work.

I was also planning on writing wayyyy more Lucretia and wayyyy less Barry. Bc Lucretia was basically me as a teenager. But I started writing Barry as one of my friends and this helped me just write bundles and bundles of Barry content.

I really didn’t have anything planned for davenport. Even drawing his yearbook I was like whelp idk. The idea of him becoming a sports strategist kicked in right as I was writing the paragraph about killian being the new jock, simply bc the section needed to be longer and frankly, I love how his story turned out.

Part of scrapping the original, edgy tone of julia’s death and taako / magnus romance was wanting to continue the tradition where TAZ is a world separate of racism and homophobia. I scrapped original ideas of magnus being provoked by homophobic remarks and transphobic remarks about lup, wanting this to also be an escapist piece like TAZ is. Therefore coming up with other reasons for magnus to get into fights was hard and also I hate writing fights bc ive never been in a fight in my life.

The first half of this fic I was riding an enthusiasm high and just adding scenes and conversations as I thought of them and listened to the story. By about the end of semester 3 I still cared about the fic but I was basically writing everything I had pre-planned with little innovation.

All in all, this was extremely fun to write, and I think it made me a much, much, much better author. I love anyone who read the whole thing sm.

#my work #hhhhhhh

[deffinitelynobody]

I have depression and i am going to ruin everyones day

Okay, so, a couple of weeks ago I wrote about how I was having some very bad suicidal thoughts and that I was scared about how much I just wanted to do it. In that post, i said that i’ll write about why i was feeling that way and such. so here it is. (note; this how i feel about the situation, it may not be entirely true)

i dont have a job. i havent had one in almost a year and a half at this point, and only 3 months at that. my parents have let me live with them since i graduated highschool, which i am grateful for. but, my dad holds onto his dads view on things: people in the house who make money are in charge, and the people who dont are subserviant to them. so, i end up being talk to in a way that seems to amount to “shut up, i make money, you dont”. which means that he ends up using his dads parenting technique of talking to your kids when they mess up: make them feel like shit, hate themselves, and doubt their worth as a human being. (his dad is worst, and he’s openingly said that he hated how his dad talked to him) unsurprisingly, this is not a good combination. combine this with the state of politics (which my dad has a much higher tolerance for than anyone else in my family), and that two people on my mom’s side have depression (one was my uncle, who DID kill himself, the other is her), and you can see why i have been feeling like absolute shit for the last month.

“well why not get a job” your probably saying. like i said, i had one. and that was the other time in my life that i had suicidal thoughts. not only that, i almost killed myself during that time! i was walking by the road, and this giant truck was moving, and i was just....not there, like if you talked to me, i’d just kinda give very automated responses, and i was just doing the things that popped into my head, and that was one of them (I will be eternally greatful to @kaiserofphyrexia for stopping me when he saw me trying to). thankfully, i lost that job shortly after that, and man let me tell you, it is one of the scariest things ever thinking about going back. the stress of constantly fearing making even the tiniest mistake just ate at me every minute of every day i was there. combine this with the managers were just awful human beings (they expected two people to do the same amount of work as 6 people and screwed us up several times just to make more money), and yeah, i just lost all interest in everything and anything. like, NOTHING helped me feel better. i hated everything cause my life just began to center around going back to work, which made me feel horrible, and i did it so often, and my schedule was completely random each and every week that i couldn’t plan to do anything. the managers didnt like it when you tried to request a day off, and you couldn’t say that your unavailable on a day, so unless i lied and said that it was for religious purposes, i didnt have any reliable day to relax and do the things that help me feel better. so when they told me that they were letting me go (one of them didnt like me to much), i was shocked, but also so releaved. it felt like a massive weight was lifted (cliched, i know) and i felt so much better.

and then the job search to find the next one like it began. and i was so scared to go back. i almost killed myself (or at least, severely injure myself), and from what i understand they were actually pretty tame compared to some of the managers out there, and the work itself didnt bug me too much, just the amount. so i just cant get my self to go back, which is why i asked my parents to help me find a job. my mom cant help to much, so it fell to my dad, and he said “you an adult, you dont NEED help. just go do it” oh yeah, silly me, i forgot that when you turn 18, all your emotions die and you become impervious to negative emotions. how could i forget!

not to mention that, with the amount of times i forget things and mess up. I cant tell you how many times i have to retypes words cause i misspell them (the grammar issues are just the tip of the iceberg). And i keep forgeting how to spell words! for several days this week, i forgot how to spell “choice” (i kept spelling chose). I cant even tell some coins apart (pennies and quarter and thats it), i i’m supposed to adult. i cant talk to my parents about this, cause whenever i’ve talked to my dad about these things, he makes me feel even worse than before. e always demands an explaination from me for why i do somethings, but i dont always have a reason. sometimes i just feel the need to do something or something to be done a certain way for no reason. and i usually realize that i was being an asshat (mentally chastising myself like how my dad does) and feel terrible, and will want to apologize for it. but my dad doesn’t like that and makes me furious beyond words and i just close off from everyone and dont apologize and feel even worse. i have a hard time letting go of things, so this shit just festers and i feel crumby for hours. (theres also the fact that he consistantly quotes “do or do not; there is no try” to me and my brother when asks us to do things, which is why i kinda blew up at a friend when they quoted it to me)

and i just dont feel competent in any way possible, and i need to do something that i could mess up on catastrophically on that could ruin my entire life. and these feelings would be exaggerated.

i began to have these thoughts and feelings when i started thinking on my whole situation, and just....idk. i need help to get job (im still terrified to do so at all), and my dad is one of the people in my life who can help me the most, but he wont cause im an adult, and i need to get him to just help me and respect me, which requires a job, which i need help getting, and he wont help me and respect cause im an adult and [repeat agnosium]. the scariest part to me was the fact there was only to options out, and it was the first time that suicide felt like a very valid option in my life. but i cant put my family through that. again. remember when i said that i had an uncle with depression? yeah, it got him.....almost 6 years ago? that was just one of the worst times of my life, and it just fuck up my family. i dont want to put them through that again. but when i thought about how my dad would feel....i felt a sadistic joy. and that scared me. it was a true and honest to god reason to do it, and it scared me so much.

but i’ve opted for the other way i saw; telling people. inspired by the youtuber jaiden when she talked about her own problems on the matter, ive chosen to share this with my friends (you guys) and my family (whom ill send this to later tonight. ive found that im at my happiest when surrounded by friends, and so ive been really itching lately to just hangout with them. i sorta hate it when i do, cause i usually end up mooching off of them (which is just the cherry on top of this shit cake), but the pros far out way the cons. 

so yeah. it may seem like my dad is a total monster, but he actually isn’t. hes actually one of the best people in my family and im honestly happy hes my dad and that i didnt get his dad instead. he just does things that have exaggerated feelings and that i focus on WAY too much when i get like this. but they are true problems in this whole situation, so i just......yeah. i might be like one of my cousins and just not be mentally equipped to handle a job. she has aspergers/autism, and by all accounts, i am very very autistic, so it is very likely, but i havent had a professional say so or not, so i could just be jumping to conclusions. i’m still gonna try and get at least one more job before i go with that answer to explain things, but it is still a genuine possibility.

i’d like to thank anyone who read this whole fucking monster post. i hated and loved writing it, and it need to be done. the first step to recovery from this is opening up to friends and family. i know at least one person who follows me who not only will read this entire post, but will understand and be concerned, and thats what i need, is my friends and family concerned and wanting to help me.

thank you.

#part way through i just couldnt care about correct grammar much of anymore #i just needed to get this out