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chiqelatasblog · 3 months

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CHAPTER FIVE : I don’t want to know more about you. (But I want to…)

-> Ao3 link is here.

-> Chapter Four link is here.

Pairing : Sub-Zero / Bi-Han x Reader

Summary : Nearly a month has passed since you first joined the Lin Kuei, and as you spend time with Bi-Han, you started to realize some things about him and also about yourself.

15 years ago…

“May I join you too?”

It had been a few months since you turned eight, and there were a few other kids close to your age in the clan. When you weren’t undergoing martial arts training, you still attended noble womanly pursuits, as deemed by your father. The time you could spend by yourself was so limited that, at times fatigue seemed to permeate every moment.

Fortunately, there was an exception today. Your teacher, responsible for teaching etiquette, fell ill. Upon discovering that your afternoon would be unoccupied, you pondered how to fill the empty space. The last time you had such wide-open time, the wound in your throat had yet to heal. You spent those days in your room, drawing pictures, reading books your mother brought you, and indulging in the very activity your father despised the most: daydreaming.

Your father was a man who was firmly attached to a sense of reality. He was an idealist, he believed in reality, not dreams. He always talked about how daydreaming distorts the perception of reality, disconnects from goals and leads to the wrong path, so he never wanted any of his children to dream.

However, since your powers were discovered, you were left alone and as you relied more on your umbrakinesis, this isolation also fueled your imagination. Reality often brought pain, while in your own dream world, you felt safer and happier. No one could harm you there, everything followed your control and will.

But since your father changed his mind and decided that you should take martial art training with the others, you haven’t even had time to think properly, let alone dream. The moment your head touched the pillow, you were falling into a deep sleep. You couldn’t even have your nightmares as usual because of the fatigue. The rigorous training left you so physically exhausted that not even your subconscious could conjure the haunting visions that usually plagued your sleep.

It had been two and a half years since the wound on your throat had healed. Given the intense pace of the past two and a half years, it was quite normal for you to feel stunned now, unsure of what to do.

As three children argued about who should be the next “it,” all turned their heads, looking at you with distant eyes when you posed the question.

Unsettled by the prolonged silence, you attempted to ease the tension with a friendly smile. Being the grandmaster’s daughter had always created a distance between you and others in the clan. Here was no exception.

“I suppose you’re playing hide and seek. I really like this game!” you exclaimed cheerfully. The tallest boy among them—Wang, you recalled—squinted his eyes suspiciously and crossed his arms.

“Wherever the shadows touch, you will find us immediately. How do we know if you’re going to cheat or not?” he questioned.

“Yes!” added another. “We can’t trust you!’’

Panic immediately entered your voice.

‘’No, no! I wouldn’t do that. I promise you! My mother has always advised me to be on the side of honesty.”

As the silence lingered once again, a familiar sense of discomfort and exclusion enveloped you. When would you truly become a part of the clan? The first time you vocalized this thought to your mother, she grew angry, instructing you to banish such ideas. In her eyes, you already held a respectable place as the grandmaster’s daughter. Yet, both of you acknowledged the truth—the assassination attempt being the clearest example.

“Let’s let her play the first round. If we see you cheating, you can’t play with us, okay?” the last boy spoke, taking charge in a way that indicated he was the leader of this small group.

The chance given to you filled your heart with excitement and happiness, a broad smile adorning your face. It felt unexpectedly easy. In the past, with your brothers you’d beg to be part of the game, enduring insults, hair-pulling, and tripping that left you bleeding. However, you had outgrown such pleas, tired of the mistreatment.

“All right! Shall I start counting?” you said, eager to begin.

“Put your face against that oak tree,” the leader directed, pointing to the sizable trunk nearby. “We can’t afford for you to peek.”

Nodding eagerly, you placed your hands against the rough bark of the tree, burying your head between them. Your cheeks turned a rosy hue with anticipation as you felt the rough texture beneath your fingers.

“Count to thirty!”

As you counted aloud, the distant echoes of footsteps retreated on the dew-kissed grass. When you reached thirty, you excitedly turned around, carefully observing the surroundings. Despite the bright weather and the sun overhead, the residual chill in the air left it a bit muddy, marking the arrival of spring.

Moving forward with small, cautious steps, you searched every bush, tree, and nook and cranny in your field of vision, being careful not to make too much noise and disturb the serene atmosphere.

“(y/n), what are you doing?”

At the unexpected sound of your father’s deep, resonant voice you froze in place. Fear misfired through your heart, giving you the strength to turn around and face him. He stood a little away, observing you with his usual cold gaze. Although accustomed to that look, his power over you was evident. Your father’s imposing presence always scared you, making you nervous and timid.

It seemed the only way to please him was to stand next to him, as if you were a trinket without breathing.

“I-I was playing hide and seek.” you said in a voice that was barely audible. When your father’s eyebrows furrowed against your answer, it felt like your heart might stop beating right there.

“What happened to today’s lesson?” As your father approached, his presence seemed to crush the world around you. Unable to answer, your lower jaw trembled with fear, and your tongue felt heavy inside your mouth. His dominant presence often did more than physical force.

He never raised a hand to you, but his words were as sharp as a knife, and his heavy, dominating aura weighed on you. When he stood right on top of you, you tilted your head back, trying not to tremble under his imposing size. Showing fear was another thing he detested, a sign of weakness.

“I asked you a question, girl.”

“I found out that Mrs. Cheng has contracted pneumonia. When there was no lesson, I thought-”

“What did you think?” your father interjected. Although his voice sounded calm, the underlying rage made you tremble. “How many times do I have to repeat this to get it into that thick little head of yours; you don’t have time for this kind of nonsense. You’re not anyone’s daughter. Don’t embarrass me and our clan any more and go back to your studies.”

While your father practically pinned you with his eyes, the rustling bushes behind you revealed the children who were hiding. As your father humiliated you in front of them, your cheeks flushed with shame, and your eyes shone with tears that you resisted not to shed. Clenching your small fists, you bowed your head to hide your tears.

“Very well, sir.” you muttered in a bitter voice.

With a sigh, your father said, “Fall in front of me.” Obliged to obey, you started walking along the path to the temple. Though you felt the children’s eyes watching you and heard their whispers, you avoided looking at them due to your shame.

As the temple came into view, you saw your older and middle brothers, one year apart, laughing and pointing fingers at you. The pain in your heart surged, and you made a great effort not to cry. The distance with your brothers and the clan seemed insurmountable. Even if you managed to get closer, somehow they were still moving away from you. Swallowing hard, you swore at that very moment.

You were going to prove yourself to everyone in the clan, especially your father.

No matter what happens.

Today…

You were nervous.

It was the first letter you were going to send to your brother since you came to Lin Kuei. In the letter, you didn’t mention being poisoned and almost coming back from death. The first reason for this was to prevent your brother from starting a war when you had not yet gathered useful information. The second reason was that you didn’t want him to humiliate you for not noticing the poison.

So, without touching on the subject at the moment, you talked about your new life here and the closeness you had begun to establish with the clan members. Especially with Bi-Han, you started to communicate even if it was a little. Your conversations usually revolved around the books he brought you from his mother’s library, which you were forbidden to enter. Surprisingly, Bi-Han had read most of them, maintaining a secretive attitude but not holding back from making a few comments.

He was busy, spending almost all of his day taking care of the affairs of his clan. Even if you only saw him at meals, it made it difficult to further the small communication you had established with him.

Aside from that, it was much easier for you to get along with the others compared to Bi-Han. The only exception was Frost. The woman was as inaccessible as an ice castle, vowing not to talk to you. She was ranked in the top five among the most talented and successful warriors in the clan, and having her assigned as your bodyguard frustrated both her and you. You tried to initiate a dialogue with her more than once to make it feel less like a duty, but the constant surveillance was starting to infuriate you. As long as this situation continued, gathering information about Lin Kuei would be challenging.

Everything you’d learned so far was superficial. Forbidden from entering the archive, the only way to go unnoticed was to use your powers. To do this, you had to create the appropriate moment, but doubts lingered. Ninjas patrolling and Bi-Han lingered into the late hours of the night. A few nights ago, you observed Cyrax walking around with other ninjas.

After adding the last lines to your letter, you created a crow out of the shadows. The only shining place on the crow, standing in a black state, was its beady eyes, having the same eye color as yours. Stroking the crow’s head and under its chin, you inhaled deeply.

You could already anticipate the response your brother would send, filled with humiliation and pressure to accelerate your progress. But Bi-Han was a unique individual, different from anyone you knew, carrying a bit of each of them but forming a distinct persona.

He was bound by traditions, his clan was more important to him than anything else, maybe even more than himself. Perhaps the woman who poisoned you was genuinely innocent, but even that couldn’t be fully proven. Bi-Han considered eliminating her a reasonable option. Whether he liked it or not, you were his wife now, and you represented Lin Kuei. Everything done to you was directly related to him.

This fact bothered you more than the invasion of your privacy in recent days. You accepted this mission knowing the consequences, but facing the truth turned out differently than you hoped. On the other hand, your mother had always instilled in you from childhood that there is hope in every despair. Maybe it was a sign for you to look at ways to turn this situation in your favor. If you could find a way to take the reins into your own hands, who knows, maybe you could even change the course.

Folding the letter you had written, you stamped your seal on it and handed it to the crow’s beak to carry. Then, with a graceful movement of the wrist, you created a portal in the middle of the room, again from the shadows, commanding the crow with a nod to pass into it.

The crow quietly passed right through the portal after a few flaps of its wings and disappeared out of sight, and the portal disappeared on its own right behind him with its departure.

You stood up with another deep breath. It was about to come to dinner, and when you left your room to go to the table before the others, two ninjas waiting outside the door moved with you.

Since you learned about the temple’s layout, it took you only a few minutes to find the dining room now. When you got to the room, one of the ninjas opened the sliding door for you, and after you entered, they waited outside the room, closing the door behind you.

When you noticed Sektor inside, except for you, you said, ‘‘Good evening.’’ Sektor responded in the same way by making a small greeting with his head.

‘’You’re early today.’’

‘’I’m going on a mission to America tomorrow. That’s why I finished my work early,’’ said Sektor, collapsing into his usual chair. And when you took your place at the head of the table next to Bi-Han, you took a small sip of the water placed in the glass in front of you.

After what happened, you hesitated once or twice about touching something to your mouth, but after seeing the protection provided to you and the precautions taken, this hesitation disappeared in a very short time.

While the water refreshed you and slowly calmed the tension you were feeling because of the letter, you quietly studied Sektor. He had a strong physique like every other warrior in the clan. His long black hair was always massed in a tight ponytail, and his beard was neatly shaved.

You had limited information about him. He wasn’t much of a talker compared to the others; he had a tough stance and judgmental looks, much like Bi-Han. You had heard how fast and ruthless he was when fighting while the members around him were talking among themselves. One of the people Bi-Han trusted the most was Sektor, without a doubt.

‘’How do you feel? You seem to have recovered quite a bit since the last time I saw you.’’

“I am being well taken care of, thank you,” you said with a smile that you hoped seemed convincing. Although most of the clan still viewed you as an outsider, an extension of the enemy clan, you couldn’t ignore the care shown for your health and safety.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

‘’Do you think that woman was innocent?’’ you asked at once.

“What made you think of that question?” Sektor raised one of his black eyebrows, looking at you with a questioning expression. You took another sip of your water before answering, keeping your gaze expressionless.

“Tomas was with me that day, and the woman told him that if he wanted to drink tea, she could bring a cup. I honestly don’t think she would have made such an offer if she had known that there really was poison in it. I may be a stranger to you, but Tomas is one of you, and on top of that, Bi-Han’s brother.’’

‘’You are also his wife,’’ Sektor said, voicing the simple truth.

‘’Yes, but many of you have not yet been able to accept this fact.’’

“Ginger has a pungent smell, a logical material that can be used to make it difficult for you to choose the poison.’’

‘’Still, I really don’t think she’s the one who planned this. Is it right that it was decided to kill her before this was clarified?’’

Sektor, leaning back in his chair, drew a breath so loud that you could hear it. He put his own glass between his fingers, looking into the it with thoughtful eyes.

‘’Our clan is strictly bound by traditions, so the punishments used to be heavier. As a penalty for certain crimes, not only the person but also their entire family was sentenced to death along with them. In the event of an assassination attempt against you, it does not matter whether this person is innocent or not; the fact that they took part in this act is considered quite sufficient reason for their murder.’’ He went on, taking a sip of his water just like you.

‘‘My respect and loyalty to Bi-Han are absolute. After the death of his father, he made great innovations to move the clan forward. But sometimes he can succumb to his anger, and at those moments, even if we try to give him common sense as council members, he won’t hear anyone. It is impossible to change his mind when he makes a decision.’’

‘’Then what does it matter to the council if he is doing what he knows in the end?’’

From the way you asked the question, it was clear that you were really curious about the answer and trying to decipher the dynamic between them. A small smile appeared on Sektor’s face.

“Bi-Han can get angry easily, but he knows his responsibilities better than anyone. He is very strong-willed to fulfill them. Exceptions do not break the pedestal.’’

‘’So you’re saying that under all his scary appearance, he’s reasonable as long as we don’t touch a sore point?’’

‘’Isn’t it just like everybody?’’ Sektor said, the smile on his face widening a little more. ‘’I’m going to tell you a secret, like you, I think the woman is innocent. She doesn’t know who’s behind this.’’ When he said these things, he had made his voice too quiet for those outside to hear. You asked curiously.

‘‘How can you speak so confidently?’’

‘’I was present during the interrogation, and it became evident from the woman’s body language and speech that she had no knowledge of the situation.’’

‘‘And what is the secret part of it?’’

‘’The woman is alive.” Sektor left the glass in his hand on the table, leaned his chin on his clasped hands, and while he continued to talk to you without breaking eye contact, he maintained a dominant presence that held your attention.

‘’How so? Did you disobey Bi-Han’s orders?’’

‘’Partly. To be more precise, I can say I saved the life of an innocent person by taking her away from here.’’

’‘Oh.’’ You sat back, not knowing what to say. ‘’And why did you share this with me? You don’t even trust me.’’

‘’True, but I want to try. After all, you are part of this clan. Trust won’t build on its own, and I believe we need to start somewhere for this.’’

‘’So you’re extending an olive branch, are you?’’

As footsteps, signaling the arrival of others, began echoing in the corridor, Sektor muttered his final words before the doors swung open.

“There is no war between you and me, (y/n). It is true that you are a foreigner, but it is entirely up to you to change this fact.’’

As soon as Sektor concluded his words, the grand doors on both sides of the room swung open wide, revealing the entrance of the clan members. In particular, Bi-Han and the others streamed in with an air of authority. Simultaneously, a dozen helpers, deftly carrying trays of steaming, delectable dishes, entered through the opposite door.

The delicious smell of the feast filled the room, making you more aware of the tempting dishes arranged on the table. As the culinary delights were displayed, your hunger in contrast to the stress you’ve felt since composing a letter in your room, became more noticeable.

While quietly calculating which dish to choose first, you caught Bi-Han’s questioning gaze. He sat down on the chair next to you and asked in his usual cold, deep voice.

‘’What are you doing?’’

Although your cheeks turned pink due to the slight embarrassment of being caught, you didn’t let yourself down. You gently cleared your throat and threw your hair over your shoulder.

‘’They all look perfect. I was trying to decide which one to start first, but I’m having a hard time.’’

Tomas chuckled at your response from the other end of the table.

“I advise you to start with sweet-sour pork. The taste is absolutely legendary.’’

‘’You should taste the spring rolls too. I'm sure you'll like it.’’ Suggested Kuai Liang. He offered you a spring roll with chopsticks, surprising you with his gentlemanliness. Such approaches were rare in your own house, leaving you occasionally disoriented.

‘’She has arms, she can reach her own,’’ grumbled Bi-Han as he filled his plate with food, but no one paid much attention.

‘’Guys, you are all misguiding her. What you really need to try is Peking duck,’’ insisted Cyrax, pointing with his chopsticks to the dish he mentioned. Your cheeks warmed under the attention, marking the first time you didn’t feel truly uncomfortable with it. The interest and relevance they showed unexpectedly warmed your heart.

As everyone chatted and filled their plates, Bi-Han subtly added some tofu to yours without anyone noticing. When you stared at him in surprise, he looked ahead, almost pretending he hadn’t done it, assuming a guarded stance as if suggesting you do the same.

With the surprise lingering on your face, you decided to try the tofu first, popping one into your mouth. The taste was spicier and more bitter than expected, making you express your surprise. Bi-Han, despite taking care of his own food, watched your reaction out of the corner of his eye. You carefully wiped your mouth with a napkin, in case anything was smeared.

‘‘It’s quite hot,’’ you admitted. ‘’Very spicy.’’

‘’The dish you’re eating is called Mapo Tofu. Is it never made in your clan?’’ inquired Bi-Han, now fully attentive and curious about your answer.

‘’This kind of food isn’t cooked in our clan because my father doesn’t like spicy dishes. So, I can’t say it’s a taste I’m familiar with. I’m surprised that you like it too, frankly.’’

“Why?” Bi-Han focused on you, curiosity evident on his face. ‘’If you’re going to attribute it to the fact I’m a cryomancer-‘’

‘’But isn’t it surprising?’’ you interrupted with a small chuckle.

“No.’’

‘’The tofu I just ate was as hot as if it had come out of the dragon’s mouth. You can even spray fire with a few of them.’’

‘’That’s because your taste buds aren’t used to it. Also, according to your illogical understanding, then I should be enjoying tasteless and cold dishes that contain no spices.’’

In an attempt to stifle the laughter welling up inside you, you reached for your refilled water glass and took a substantial sip. The ongoing banter, much like the one Bi-Han had criticized a few days ago when he deemed your stargazing childish, mirrored the very judgment he had passed. However, this time, you opted to continue the conversation rather than shutting it down. It marked the lengthiest exchange Bi-Han had engaged in without sarcasm since your arrival.

‘��Yes, all these things you’re counting also align with your character,’’ you affirmed. Despite Bi-Han’s automatic frown, you maintained a calm, friendly tone without yielding. “Although, on second thought, you’re right; there must be something that feeds your mood. Am I wrong?’’

Before Bi-Han could respond, laughter erupted from Kuai Liang across the table. Tomas, Cyrax, and even Sektor, less overtly, stifled their amusement. Observing their reactions, Bi-Han emitted an irritated growl.

‘‘What the hell are you all looking at? Eat your damn food.’’

A muffled laugh rippled through them, and as Bi-Han exhaled a deep breath of icy smoke, the others refocused on their meals, avoiding further provocation.

The room, adorned with hanging lights casting a warm, soft glow, emanated a tranquil ambiance. A calm conversation filled the space, punctuated by occasional questions that allowed you to participate. Listening to their daily routines and being part of the camaraderie reignited an ache in your heart.

In your own house, women, including yourself and your mother, were barred from active participation in conversations between your father, clan elders and even your siblings. Speaking was deemed great rudeness, and until today, you had adhered to quietly eating your meals and waiting until they concluded. Now, the opposite experience left you offering brief answers, apprehensive of overstepping unfamiliar boundaries.

Fortunately, no one probed into the evasive responses, likely attributing it to lingering shyness. It wasn’t precisely a falsehood, but the unfamiliarity of this environment left you unsure of where the boundaries started and ended, instilling a fear of making mistakes.

‘‘(y/n),’’ Bi-Han’s hoarse voice interrupted your musings. Meeting his gaze, you wondered about the reason for his summons. ‘’Walk with me a little after you’ve finished your dinner.’’

Choosing not to question the motive, you simply responded, ‘’Of course.’’

Half an hour passed, and when the fruit service concluded, Sektor rose first from the table. Cyrax followed about ten minutes later, prompting Bi-Han to stand and signal for you to do the same with a nod. As you left the room after exchanging a ‘goodnight’ with a smile, the two remaining brothers glanced at you with curiosity and questioning expressions.

One of the two ninjas tasked with protecting you handed you a coat as you walked out the door. Surprised by this, Bi-Han caught the expression on your face while you quietly put on the coat that was handed to you and explained.

‘’I asked for the coat to be brought. It’s colder outside than last night.’’

‘’I thought you couldn’t feel the cold.’’

‘’It is so.’’ Bi-Han said simply. The fact that he did not take his intense gaze off you for a moment while saying this did something strange to your heart. You felt the cold like everyone else, but you were trained to be resilient to all kinds of bad conditions and negativity. Although you could tolerate the bitter cold up to a point, there was no need for Bi-Han not to know this fact. And you also liked the unexpected gesture, no matter how much you wanted to deny it.

Fortunately, Bi-Han quickly returned to his usual arrogant mood, making it easier for you to get rid of unwanted feelings.

“After all, birds can’t survive in winter.’’

‘’I’m sure there are a few survival tricks in them that they know.’’ You said, lifting your chin slightly to get a better view of him. Bi-Han’s eyes narrowed in a way that showed he was having fun.

‘‘We’ll see about that.’’

Bi-Han, walking in front, led you from the back terrace into the garden. The cold evening air took away all the warmth from your face, which was warmed inside. The air was fresh and the sky was clear. Since there were not many people walking around, it was calm and quiet. When you arrived almost running to catch up with Bi-Han’s wide steps, you curiously expressed the question you wanted to ask all along.

‘‘Why did you call me over?’’

‘’To talk.’’

‘’To talk?’’

‘’Do you want me to spell it out for you to understand, too?’’

You frowned at his sarcastic reply.

‘‘You could have talked to me at the table, too.’’

During your argument, when Bi-Han slowed down his steps so that you could catch up with him, you started walking next to him. A few seconds passed, and when you realized that Bi-Han would not answer you with a prolonged silence, you sighed, ‘’What do you want to talk about?’’ You asked.

With the question, Bi-Han’s hard, illegible gaze found yours.

‘‘About your family.’’ His brown eyes, very dark in the moonlight, went down to the scar hidden by your turtleneck sweater. Even though he couldn’t see it, you moved restlessly where you were, because it bothered you that he knew where the scar was. ‘‘And your past.’’ Bi-Han said after a while.

“And why should I do that? There is no reason for me to open my private life to you.”

“You are my wife, so it is important that I know everything about you.”

“Oh, really? Then how about it being mutual, grandmaster?” You used a sarcastic tone against him, echoing the attitude he displayed towards you a little while ago. “If you want to exchange information, you should also reveal something about yourself. It can’t be one-sided.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” Bi-Han stopped walking. While you couldn’t discern exact anger, his tone hinted at displeasure with the conversation’s direction. It made you smile at least he was beginning to understand that you wouldn’t comply with everything he said.

“Then you may suppose that this conversation is over.” You stated it in a polite but clear tone. Without waiting for Bi-Han to resume walking, you heard him talking behind you as you started walking ahead.

“What do you want to know?”

“There, if you keep on answering like that—wait a minute, what?”

Turning on your heels, you stared with big eyes at Bi-Han, who was standing a little further away, with a confused expression that showed you weren’t sure you had heard correctly.

“What do you want to know?” said Bi-Han calmly, repeating his question. He covered the distance in two big steps, and when he stood in front of you, you tilted your head back slightly and looked at him.

Normally, his hair would have come out of its bun, tufts disheveled and scattered due to the workouts and studies he did during the day. However, at the moment, it caught your attention that it was standing properly, as if he had just collected it. When you caught the smell of soap rising slightly from him, you realized that he had just been washed. He probably should have gone to the hot springs before he came to dinner.

The places where the moonlight touched his face softened his expression with a silvery light, while his shadowed lines were hard and angular. It must have been a cruel trick of fate for such a cold and arrogant man to be blessed with a handsome face.

“Have you always wanted to have this title?” You said, averting your gaze from his eyes, which were surrounded by long black lashes.

“Yes, I’ve been trained for this all my life.”

“It doesn’t seem like an easy life.”

“Success, as I see it, involves the sacrifices we’re willing to make. I grew up knowing that one day, I’d have this title, and I accepted that reality.”

You responded thoughtfully.

“I can imagine it’s a difficult path. Do you believe you make a good leader?”

The unexpected question caught Bi-Han off guard, prompting him to pause and study your face with furrowed brows. As you two continued walking, the snow crunched beneath your steps, your breath visible in the cold air, forming a mist. The temperature dropped further, the chilly air biting at your cheeks and nose.

“Are you making an insinuation?”

“No, I really wonder what you’re thinking.”

Bi-Han’s gaze was aimed at a distant point rather than at you. His face was again darkened with an expression that you could not read.

“I can’t answer that question, but I know what kind of leader I don’t want to be,” he said. His voice was unexpectedly honest. When you were standing in front of a snow-covered bench together, Bi-Han melted the snow with just a hand gesture, leaving it dry enough to sit on.

“My father has always remained closed to innovations throughout his rule of the clan. While technology was advancing every day, he was determined to cling to the traditional ways without adapting to the changes. However, history has shown us that those who do not adapt to innovation are always doomed to extinction. I want to do the right thing for my clan; we have the potential to achieve much more than it seems. Just being content with what is happening will lead to inevitable decline after a while.’’

“I don’t think you will experience such a thing,” you said in a polite voice, picking up where he left off. You were both seated at either end of the bench, with a space between you so decently marked that one person could comfortably enter. “Maybe I’ve been here for about a month, but I can see how much you put your clan at the forefront.”

“What kind of leader do you think I am?”

“Do you want an honest answer or-”

“Honest,” Bi-Han interrupted, not letting you continue your words. “Compared to most people here, you’re not afraid when you talk to me. That’s why I’m curious about your thoughts.”

It was true that you were not afraid because you did not exactly anger him. Unlike a segment that everyone is afraid of seeing and therefore makes sure not to even breathe in the same place as him, you haven’t seen the other side of him yet.

“I would say that you are an ambitious person. You are stubborn and determined, you can stand behind what you believe is right to the end. But at the same time, you are rude and arrogant, you do not allow people to express their own opinions. You intimidate them with fear.”

“I don’t need to hear their thought. I know what’s right better than they do.”

“It’s true that experience makes you different from them, but one of the important features of being a good leader is being able to listen to what others are saying. It’s not just listening, it’s communicating that’s the main thing. Fear is a compulsion, whereas respect is earned.” As your gaze turned to the ornamental pool in the distance, your next words poured from your lips as a whisper. “My father too could never decipher the difference between these two.”

Bi-Han looked at you silently with his chin resting on his clasped hands, leaning his elbows on his legs, which he had spread out from side to side. With this posture, his large, muscular body had shrunk a little, as if he was giving you space to talk more comfortably, trying to make himself look less threatening to you.

‘’What do you mean?’’

“Through fear, you can easily compel someone to obey you, but that person does not willingly open their heart, thoughts, or soul to you. Respect, on the other hand, is the admiration one feels for a person’s qualities, values, and achievements. Being with them gives you strength, they won’t hurt you, and you want to follow them wherever they go. My father was a tough man, and achieving the position of his right-hand man was considered a courageous task. That’s why they were constantly changing like the seasons, as no one wanted to be near him due to fear.’’

While discussing your past without delving into too many details, Bi-Han’s gaze was attentive, as if he was absorbing the most crucial fact of his life. To be more comfortable on the bench, you slightly turned your body to the side, leaning your back against the armrest, bringing your knees close enough to touch each other.

‘’It must have been hard for you.’’ Surprisingly, there was no usual condescending tone in Bi-Han’s voice, instead, it carried sincere understanding—an unexpected development for you.

‘’My mother was my greatest blessing. She was understanding, kind, and caring. In short, she possessed all the characteristics that my father did not have.’’ As your gaze shifted from the ornamental pool to the stars in the sky, your voice trembled with a longing you couldn’t suppress. ‘’I miss her.’’

At that moment, Bi-Han’s knee touched yours. His movement was so slight and imperceptible that, at first, you thought you were imagining it. However, the coolness emanating from him was too realistic to pretend otherwise.

“It seems mothers have always held a different place compared to fathers. My mother was a good person too. She was always a buffer between me and my old man.’’

Against his small consolation, the lump in your throat grew. Why did he start treating you like this? Everything would be easier if he kept acting as he did on the first night you got married. Instead of getting to know him, he should have remained a stranger, all these conversations and tiny gestures should not have happened. You’ve already opened up to even the slightest emotional warmth, and you couldn’t undermine the responsibility you felt towards your mission with your own hands. How would you face your brothers and your clan?

He’s your enemy.

When your brother’s voice hissed inside your mind like a poisonous snake, you quickly composed yourself and straightened your seat.

‘‘Sorry, but I’d better get inside. it’s getting pretty cold. Goodnight, grandmaster. Thank you for this little conversation.’’

Without giving Bi-Han a chance to say anything, you quickly got up from where you were sitting and started walking back towards the temple with brisk steps. All the while, you could feel Bi-Han’s burning gaze on you.

It’s a mission. You said to yourself. Keep your feelings out of your task.

*******

P.S : Their knees touched aaaaaaaaa :3

Tagging @mmeerraa ❤️

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lucy90712 · 4 months

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Road to recovery- part 2

masterlist Lola's POV

It's been a long week waiting for my surgery as I haven't been able to do much as they don't want me to cause more damage by walking around too much. As someone who is always active and barely sits down this week has been hell but today has been the worst. Knowing that it is surgery day but having to wait sat in a hospital has been torture seeing everyone else get called while I just sit and wait has been awful. Until today I wasn't nervous about the surgery but the longer I've had to wait the more anxious I've become as there's a big risk I means the surgery could not go to plan and then I may never compete again and that's a scary thought. My life has been dedicated to sport even my degree is sport related as I wanted to have the knowledge that helps me understand my body better so if I can't do gymnastics again I don't know what I'll do with my life.

Eventually I was called back and the nurses prepped me for surgery. I was given a gown to wear which they had to help me into as I can't put any weight on my left leg which makes changing difficult. They did some basic checks as well like measuring my heart rate and blood pressure before hooking me up to a few machines. Then it was time to go into the operating room which just felt so cold and clinical which I know it's supposed to be but it didn't help ease my feelings of anxiety that I was already feeling. Luckily someone then came in to give me the anaesthetic to put me to sleep which worked very quickly so before I knew it I was falling asleep.

As my eyes opened and adjusted to the lights I noticed that they weren't as harsh as the ones in the operating room and the ceiling was different too. My brain was still slightly foggy but as I was coming to my senses I realised that I must be out of surgery which woke me up a little more and I finally looked down at my leg to see bandages where they had cut into my knee and a brace was already attached to my leg to limit its movement. Just as I was about to find the button to call a nurse one walked in and offered me a smile once she saw I was awake.

"How are you feeling Lola?" She asked

"I'm ok did the surgery go well?" I asked

"Yes it did we were able to repair your acl and the damage to your meniscus wasn't as bad as we feared so you didn't require any further work to fix that we are going to keep you over night just to monitor you and to start physio tomorrow morning" she explained

"Thank you" I replied

"Also I'm sorry that you are having to share this room but we are low on rooms and you two have the exact same injury so we thought it was best to put you together" she said

I was extremely confused until I looked to my right and saw a guy who looked weirdly familiar sat on his phone also with a brace on just his was on his right leg instead. I don't know how I didn't notice before as our beds are quite close together but I guess thats what anaesthesia does to you. Once the nurse left I turned my attention back to this random guy as I was curious as to who he was but he was yet to acknowledge my existence as he hadn't looked up from his phone. Seeing as he wasn't paying any attention I took my chance to study his face to see if I could work out where I recognised him from. I noticed that he looked to be about my age the the muscles in his arms told me that he was definitely an athlete too which only made me more curious. In my head I was trying to go through the sports where acl injures are common and the first sport that came to mind was football. With him looking my age and us being in Barcelona I assumed he was part of one of the youth teams but then I wondered why I recognised him as I'm really not that into football so I'd have no idea about any youth players.

"Do you need something?" The guy asked coldly which made me realise I was still staring

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to stare" I said

"Whatever" he scoffed going back to his phone again

"Wait I um have to ask how did you end up here?" I asked

"I was playing football and landed awkwardly on my knee" he explained

"I'm sorry that sounds awful I hope this doesn't seem weird but I'm really not that into football but I recognise you from somewhere do you play for one of the Barcelona youth teams Barcelona atletic isn't it?" I asked

"No I don't play for the B team I play for the first team" he said so nonchalantly like it meant nothing

He had rendered me speechless with that. I simply couldn't think of anything else to say as my brain was preoccupied with freaking out over the fact that I was laying in a hospital bed in the same room as a Barcelona player. Football isn't my thing but that being said I know how hard those guys work and how crazy it is to find yourself in the situation I am right now. Once my brain had come to terms with the fact that I was next to an actual well known athlete I realised I still wasn't completely sure who he was so I found my phone amongst all my stuff and went straight to Instagram. I went onto Barcelona's account and the first thing I saw was a post with the guy sat right next to me. Gavi. That's who he is the big star boy of the team that's why I recognised him there was a time when he was all anyone talked about whether that was because of his footballing abilities or how attractive they thought he was. Of course I had to look at his Instagram and after scrolling through a few pictures I decided to follow him. It's not like I'm ever going to see him again after we leave this hospital plus he won't even notice he already has millions of followers.

What a day. No one is going to believe me when I try and tell them that I spent my time in hospital with Gavi and honestly I wouldn't believe me either but here we are. Good thing he doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone as I don't know if I could hold a conversation with him for more than a few seconds now I know who he is.

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #football imagine

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russellsppttemplates · 2 years

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It's always been you (Mick Schumacher)

Mick and Y/N have been a constant in eachother's lives and they have taken their time to finally act on their feelings

Note: english is not my first language. I had some free time and this has come out of it

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm not actively taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so but know that I don't know when I'll be able to tend to them!

"Thanks again for dinner Corinna", you thanked her one last time with a hug before you made your way back to Mick's motorbike after another Schumacher dinner. These dinners have been happening since you could remember, they would invite you over once a month for a get together and catch up meal and today was no exception, the mood was really nice and everyone had a good time over some food and childhood memories. "Here, let me", Mick said as he noticed you fiddling with the helmet strap, pushing your hair out of the way so he could fasten it for your safety, "there, all done", he smiled sweetly as he climbed on the motorbike, your arms travelling to his waist to hold yourself steady for the short ride to your place. When you got there, your feet landed on the floor while you looked at your watch, still early enough for you to invite your bestfriend inside, not really wanting to part ways with him just yet, "Do you want to come inside for a bit? I'm not that sleepy so we could put something on the TV", you tempted, earning a nod as you got inside. Sitting on the sofa, you both got comfortable under the massive blanket you had draped over the back of it, Mick choosing one of the movies you used to watch when you were little, "if your sister was here, she would be rolling her eyes so hard", you mused as you got yourself comfortable next to him, "I genuinely think she learned how to do that because of us", he snickered, remembering her reaction everytime she would join you in the living room only to find that you were both watching the same movie for the umpteenth time. As you got more tired, the warmth of the blanket and Mick's body heat, as well as the soft lighting and sound in the room providing the best mood, your eyes felt droopier and droopier, your body slowly but surely getting lower and closer to your bestfriend's, he noticing as he noticed you were practically asleep on him and taking the opportunity to enjoy having you so close to him. He really should sort his feelings out, he thought, because if he kept going like this and saving what he felt for you to himself, things would get ugly someday. How could he not love you? You had been there with him and for him since he could remember, being the other shy kid in the first day in kindergarten that was struggling a little bit and joining him when he was playing with his toy car, and since then you had been attached by the hip. You were kind, caring, smart, beautiful inside and outside and anyone would be a fool to not see why Mick felt the way he did about you. He just needed a little push, but for now he would settle in the feeling of having you in his arms, snuggled slightly against his torso as you breathed steadily, the peaceful expression on your face engraved in his mind forever.

You and Mick had taken the free weekend to do a day roadtrip, no specific plans other than spending time with eachother, "Mick, can we stop for some snacks? And a bathroom break too, please?", you asked your bestfriend who was driving, earning a nod from him as he pulled over to the service station exit you pointed to, "I need to stretch my legs a bit too", he mumbled as he parked the car. Heading inside to use the bathroom and get some snacks, you saw that Mick was inside the car already, "I got us these", you showed a packet of biscuits, "and these, since mister athlete can't have too much of that stuff", you explained, noticing how his eyes were struggling to keep open, "Do you want me to drive from now? You seem pretty tired", you tempted, hand already on the door handle to switch, "that wouldn't be so bad actually, thank you", he reasoned with himself, knowing he would put you both at risk if he insisted on driving when he was a bit tired. Switching places, you adjusted the bench to your height, "stop snickering, Schumacher, we don't all have the privilege to have long legs to reach the pedals", you said, the smile on your face mirrored on his, "you're not that short to be fair", he said as he sipped from his water, you shaking your head as you reversed out of the parking spot.

"Do you guys want to go to the local market?", Corinna called for her son, "I can show you some places I hopefully still remember", she said, smiling when her children got up from their seats and made their way out to one of the city's many street markets. Since the kids were old enough to attend races, the family would always make sure to spend some part of the weekend on the local streets, visiting small shops and seeing as much of the culture as possible in such a short amount of time. So far they had visited a few artisan shops, looking at some pottery that Corinna would honestly take the whole set home if she could, a wool shop where Gina found some warm winter pieces and they were now in a little accessories and trinkets shop, "Are you really going to offer her that?", Gina tried to reason with her younger brother, "what? I think it's nice", he defended himself, holding the keyring. The carefully embroidered initial complimented the light wooden part beautifully, so delicate but also so strong, much like you, Mick thought, "I think she'll like it, and we can be matching", he said nonchalantly, prompting his sister to let out a chuckle, "I'm not going to keep repeating myself but you honestly should just be honest with her, I'm pretty sure she feels the same", she mused, "I swear, the day you two finally get together will be rhe best victory".

Back at home from the racing weekend, Mick invited you to have dinner at his place, sitting at the table now after clearing up the plates and helping tidy the kitchen, "I also got you this, and before you go all crazy, this wasn't expensive and I got it because I thought we could be matching", he carefully forwarded you as he handed you a packet, the blush on his cheeks evident. Truly, if there was a better sight than Mick Schumacher, you really wanted to see it and set the record straight because there is no one or nowhere in the world that could compare to him, wether it was his pale skin, his blue eyes, his kindness or his genuineness, he had it all, and while making a move on him would seem like the logical thing to do, you didn't want to risk what you had. Opening the box, you found your initial on a keyring, your fingers holding it carefully while you inspected the little details, "it's the same as yours, right?", you said as you noticed his keys he had left on the table, "it's beautiful, Mick, I love it so much, thank you! You know you didn't have to!", you said, leaping out of your seat to hug him, the fact that, during such a busy weekend, he took the time to think about you and to get you something making your heart flutter as you felt his lips on your forehead, "there's nothing I wouldn't do for you", he mumbled against your skin, the butterflies on your belly dancing at his confession.

The teams were finishing their jobs on the cars, getting them ready for the race when you arrived in the paddock, giving a small but warm greeting to everyone in the garage before you noticed Mick and Sebastian speaking in the corner, the one wearing a green t-shirt waving at you to come over, "Y/N! It's been a while since I've seen you around, how have you been?", he greeted you with a kiss on each cheek, "yes, it's been a while. I have been busy with a project and I only managed to come to races now", you smiled, the smirk on Sebastian's face telling you that wasn't news to him, "Oh, the investigation project? Mick told me about it, congratulations on getting the spot on the research team, I'm sure your ideas will be very appreciated", he said, earning a blush on both of your's and Mick's cheeks. Bidding them goodbye after wishing them both a good and safe race, you went to drop your things off in Mick's driver room, "Can you two please just be a couple and stop annoying me by not being a couple?", Sebastian told a still blushing Mick, "It's not like you're making it any easier, outing me like that", he muttered, "Not helping? Kids, I'm the one making this happen, you just need some help that I am willing to give", he said, winking at him before patting his back and heading to his garage to get ready, leaving a flustered Mick behind in the Haas garage.

The race hadn't gone for the best, a mix of strategies, the car and the track failing to perform as well as they expected, a defeated Mick going around the mechanics and engineers to thank them for their work before he waved at you, his communications assistant already borrowing him and heading to the media pen for his duties. When he got back, you were chatting with Sabine, going over the schedule for the flight back home, "There you are", you said as you hugged him, "you know I'm proud of you always, right?", you made sure he was looking directly into your eyes, his own blue ones drinking up all the pride he could see in yours, "thank you for always being here for me", he said genuinely, squeezing you in his embrace as he noticed his assistant excuse herself quietly, "wait, don't pull away... not yet", he said as he nuzzled his nose beside your neck, your scent calming him instantly as you sighed happily at the thought of being a source of comfort for him.

When later in the night you arrived at the airport, you noticed how tired Mick was offering to drive him home and saying you would get a taxi to your place since he had driven you both to the airport a few days earlier, "No need for that, you can stay at my place if you want to, besides I feel like having some company besides Angie", he forwarded as he petted her head, the dog excitedly wagging her tail.

Mick had invited you to join him and Angie for a walk on the park near your place, the area usually not busy with many people and it did have a specific zone where dogs could run freely without any danger, prompting you to get your comfy clothes on and head out, meeting them at the entrance, "how was your day?", Mick asked as he let Angie free of her leash, "good, it was good, although things seem to be a bit harder than we expected with the whole project situation, there's been a minor set back", you explained slightly, letting him in your feelings without boring him with the technical stuff, "but all in all, things are going somewhere hopefully", you smiled, "and you? Found your confidence back?", you asked, knowing how much the race results have been affecting him. Sighing, he looked at Angie running around, "I guess so. It's still hard to digest with everything going on but hopefully we get better results next weekend", he said, squeezing your fingers when he felt your hand come closer to his, looking at your eyes and flickering to your lips quickly, "I really don't know what I'd do without you, you know?", he mused. Laughing, you smiled back at him, "look who's saying it! I never would have applied to the project if you didn't push me too, I wouldn't have so many amazing memories with you, goodness, I probably would have had a dehydration problems from all the tears I would cry at kindergarten if it wasn't for you holding my hand and playing with me everyday", you muttered the last part, the blush on your cheeks prompted by the memory as well as Mick's intense and loving gaze on you, "and I honestly hope I never have to learn what it is like to not have you by my side forever", you mumbled, taking the plunge, peeling your eyes from your hands and looking at his eyes, "can you picture it? You and I together?", Mick said and you swore it had another meaning other than just friendship. Going for it, you turned your body to face his, "As friends or as something more?", you asked, deciding that maybe he did reciprocate the feelings you shared for him, "I can't begin to tell you for how long I've loved you. Probably since kindergarten, you were always the lovely girl to me, always sharing your pencils and crayons. And you grew up to the most beautiful young woman, there's nothing you don't touch or room you don't walk into and not immediately shine, even if you don't notice it. It's always been you", Mick finally admitted, seeing in your eyes how you were finding the words to answer him, "how blind can we be, right? There hasn't been a day of my life where I remember not wanting to be with you or talk to you, my mother always tells the story of how the saddest week of my childhood was the one you went to your father's race for the whole week and I was as miserable and mopey as an eight year old can be because you weren't there", you gulped, "I've just been afraid that this could be ruined", you pointed between you, Mick's hand travelling to hold it in his while the other one got closer to you cheek, cupping it as his thumb rubbed on the skin, "Oh, we have so much to catch up on", he said, looking for approval in your eyes as he kissed your lips for the first time, knowing you both had forever.

#mick schumacher fluff #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher fic #mick schumacher x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

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armpirate · 7 months

Text

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 35

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 13 minutes

Chapter warnings: smut, oral sex (male receiving), non-protected sex, dirty talk

Ever since I came back to our table, I haven't been able to think about anything else that isn't that picture. Not because of the content itself, because I know Y/n would never do something behind my back, and I really doubt she'd choose Jin if she ever did, basically because of all the consequences that would come right after. It activated something that I thought I overcame when we both decided to be exclusive. The possibility of Y/n finding someone better has always been in the back of my head, because I genuinely think she could do way better than me.

A few times she interrupts my inner monologue, she tries to cheer up the mood by making some jokes or being touchy, but it only makes me disconnect from my thoughts the short seconds it lasts.

—Is something wrong? —she asks, wrapping her arm around mine and squeezing it.

—I'm just a bit tired —I lie, after hearing her ask the same question a few more times.

—Do you want to leave and get some rest? —she suggests, resting her chin on my shoulder—. I've already finished mine. And I'm sure it won't be a good idea for me to get another one.

When I feel the weight of her head on my shoulder, I can't help but turn to her. Her big eyes are looking at me with a shining light I'm not able to describe, but it for sure works on making me feel more relaxed.

I nod at her question, making her move away from me so she can stand up and follow right after her.

—Tae isn't here today? —she frowns, trying to find him among the customers.

Honestly, I'm glad Tae and her get on well. At first, I was afraid he'd be too harsh on her after everything that happened with Areum and Leslie. But Y/n's personality captivated Tae instantly, and even made him protective of her sometimes.

—No, he didn't feel well. So Brooke is in charge of the place.

—I hope he feels better soon —she mutters as we head outside—. Tell him that if he needs something...

—I will —I cut her up.

The fact that Brooke, someone Tae also trusts, twisted things just to damage Y/n annoys me, but I know it'd make Tae freak out even more if he ever knew.

While I drive her home, I feel her hands playfully rubbing my side and tummy, before she's resting her cheek back on my shoulder. Seeing no reaction from me, she just stops trying until we reach her place.

—You aren't sleeping here? —she looks at me confused, when the engine of the motorbike is still on when she hops off.

—I'd rather go to my place tonight.

—Cut the shit, Jungkook —she crosses her arm over her chest—. What's wrong?

—I told you I'm tired.

—And I'm not buying it —she tilts her head—. You were fine tonight, and out of nowhere you started acting like...

—Like what?

—Like an ass —she rushes to answer—. If you were tired, you could've told me. And we would've gone straight to my house or your place.

—If my attitude bothered you so much, you could've called Jin so he could keep you better company.

Those words leave my lips before I'm able to realize it. Something so insignificant as that picture, got me overreacting and losing control of my own tongue.

Y/n just looks away, pressing her lips together before her eyes are back on me. Sweetness is long gone, and now she's the one who's annoyed here.

—Why are you bringing up Jin?

—You tell me —I turn off the engine to hear her better—. Why did I have to learn from someone else that you and Jin went out for drinks, and were all over each other?

—All over each other? You have to be kidding me.

She just scoffs, her eyes going blank as she throws her head back and looks at me again with both hands hanging on her hips.

—He's my fucking boss. He invited me for drinks, because he couldn't do it on my first day —she tries to explain—. He knows we're seeing each other. For fucks sake, the day after, you came to pick me up and he saw us being all over each other.

—And that's why you didn't tell me? —I insist— You told me you'd get home late, and that's why I didn't go to pick you up.

—I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was important —she squints her eyes at me—. I went for a drink with my boss. He himself made things clear when I asked him, so I don't know where this is coming from.

She doesn't say much more, she just waits for me to answer back. But I really don't know what I should answer back right now. And it seems like my silence annoys her even more.

—It's unbelievable you're the one trying to be offended over me hiding things though —she continues—. Maybe you're being an asshole because Jimin can't tell you what to do right now. Right? —she crosses her arms over her chest— Maybe he'd tell you to man up and bring some sense to that tiny brain of yours.

The fact that she knows about that little thing, and what a dickhead I was because I talked about something that involved her with someone else, and took their advice instead of just accepting what she wanted, makes me aware that she has pretty more reasons to be annoyed at me than I do.

—I've dealt with your big walls constantly, with your stupid ideas, and even how you don't even want to consider us as a couple. And you really think I'd run after someone else after how much it took us to get here? —her voice trembles as she speaks—. You could've talked to me about it, because I know you would've gone home without saying a single thing about it if I hadn't insisted. You should discuss everything with me.

Everything that was crossing my mind, everything that could've made me distrust her in the slightest, completely disappears when her voice cracks towards the end of the sentence. I allowed my insecurities to get the best of me, and blind me into thinking she'd ever be able to hurt me while being aware of the pain she could put me through.

—I'm sorry —I say, getting her to look at me—. When Brooke told me and showed me the pic, I don't know...

—I don't know either —she crosses her arms over her chest—. It wouldn't cross my mind to do something like that to you.

—I'm sorry —I apologize again, hopping off the motorbike to feel somewhat closer to her.

—If you are sorry, then I really hope you park that damned motorbike and bring your ass up to my place —trying her best to hide her smile, she tilts her head.

—That's it?

—What? —she steps back— Were you expecting me to throw a tantrum and go two weeks without talking to you? —her eyebrow raises with that last comment— I could do that, but I don't want to. I just need you to understand that I'm only into you. And next time something like this happens, you talk to me first —she starts walking, but she suddenly stops again—. I'm not bringing up the whole deal issue because we made up a few days ago, but I hope something like that doesn't ever happen again —she warns me, lifting her index in my direction.

Trying not to show off my smile, so she doesn't regret her words, I press my lips together and nod.

Honestly, it feels weird that we both made it out so quickly and so easily. Not like we've gone too long without talking with each other, and the few times were because of a serious issue -at least more than this-, but I still can't believe everything's been solved so fast.

As I sit on the couch, I see her moving uneasy in front of me, puckering her lips, until she finally speaks again.

—I really can't believe you still think I could look at anyone else the way I look at you —she straddles me, and the way she feels against me will make me go insane—. Maybe I should use actions, because words don't stay long enough up here —she rubs my temple with her index as she says it.

—How will you do that?

Her fingertip runs over my skin, digging behind my ear into my hair, as she bends over me to link our lips together. One hand holding my head and playing with my hair, while the other travels down my neck and chest. Her touch makes me feel so needy, I see no point in holding back before I sink my tongue in her mouth.

Not ready for her to move yet, I keep her tight against me, enjoying the taste of our saliva mixing together while our tongues just twirl against one another. And it only gets messier when I feel her pressing her core against me. I unzip her jeans, making them baggy enough around her waist so I can sneak my hands through them, cupping her ass tight.

She bites my lip before she breaks the kiss, pulling it in between her teeth with her eyes fixed on mine. She seems so dangerous while she does it. But I don't care, I want -and need- more. I move my hands back to her back, holding her tight. Although she's still able to move, I made sure of that after I saw her intentions taking over her eyes.

She kneels slowly in between my legs, moving her hands over my thighs until she almost reaches the noticeable bulge under my pants, and that's screaming for attention at this point. I let out a heavy breath, a feeling all my muscles tense under her touch the closer she gets to my crotch. She unzips my pants. And while I keep my hands in the air -trying to allow her to have as much control as she wants over me-, she finally takes them off, along with my boxers.

My hard cock jumps free as soon as she slides the fabric down, and I'm sure I won't last too much if she keeps looking at it as if it was something she had been waiting for forever.

She licks my shaft, from the base to the tip, and I'm only able to sigh when the warmth of her tongue traces one of my marked veins until she reaches my most sensitive part. Her fingers wrap around it, letting her tongue tease me. She moves it in circles around the tip,cleaning the precum that keeps leaking.

Not enough with the feeling, I move her hair away, wanting to get the perfect image of how she looks while she drives me crazy.

—Suck it, baby —I ask, rubbing her cheek with my thumb.

As she bends over again, my hand goes back to the back of her head, taking all the locks I can away from her face.

She wraps her lips around my tip, covering her teeth with them -feeling my heart pounding with pride when I remember I was the one who taught her that-, before she starts going down on me. She bumps her head up and down slowly, having me lifting my hips in the air so her mouth could never leave me.

—Keep your eyes on me, babe —I command, trying to get her eyes back on me as I notice her closing them.

But maybe it’s the biggest mistake I could've made.

She looks up to me, big eyes digging for any hint of pleasure on my face, while her lips are wrapped around me tight. Not only is it the way she looks, but how she makes my cock vibrate when she whimpers on it. And I can tell by the way her body tenses, she wants attention just as much as I did.

—So fucking good —I praise her again—. Sucking it like I taught you, like a good girl.

And that praise must've awakened something in her, because she pumps my cock with her fist, making sure her movements were in sync with the ones in her hand. I can feel my cock twitching with every move she makes, and I'm reaching that point where I'm not able to control my body as I'm too hooked on the shivering.

—I'm gonna cum, baby. Stop —I warn her.

I made her move back. And, after only giving her a few seconds to recover, I cup her face in my hands.

—Come here.

While we kiss, I do my best at taking her clothes off. First moving her pants away and sliding them down her legs along with her panties. And like I'm attracted to it, my palm covers her slit, fingers digging to know how wet and ready she is for me, at least until she's back at straddling me.

I'm so desperate for her, that I don't even care about the ripping sound her blouse makes as I tear it apart. I see her lifting her hips, and I help her by holding myself up, aiming to her entrance. A united, and harmonious gasp, leaves our lips as she sinks me deeper in her slowly. Her walls wrap around me tight, taking me in so easily, yet molding around me so well, that I doubt I'll make it for too long.

She jumps slowly at first, helping us both get used to each other, lifting and lowering her hips, taking me back in when I thought she'd be letting me go completely. Her hips increase the speed slowly, making the clapping sounds of our bodies louder with every jump.

—You're the only one I want to fuck like this —she moans, one hand on my shoulder and the other on the backrest of her couch—. Do you understand it like this?

—Fuck, yes —my voice cracks in the middle of the sentence—. You're only mine.

—Uh-huh.

I pull her in for a kiss, as I lower my body on the couch, dragging her along with me. Taking control away from her, I hold her hips up and start drilling into her in a speed that soon has her moaning louder, while her pussy clenches around me tight. I lower the cups of her bra, sucking and biting her hard nipple as I fuck her like I've never done before. Fucking her like I'm sorry for being such a dumbass today.

—I'm close —she holds onto my wrist as she says that

—Cum with me —I move even faster.

Her pussy clenches around me again, before her body collapses over mine with a loud moan that has my ears whistling for a while. Although all of it only makes tingles run over me, from the tip of my toes to the top of my head, before I cum in her.

—We didn't use protection —she panics, suddenly looking at me.

—It's alright —I move under her, trying to get back to the initial position—. I'm clean. And we can buy the morning after pill tomorrow.

I kiss her again, slow and sweet, enjoying every bit of her right now.

✸ ✸ ✸

A placid smile adorns her face while she closes her eyes, trying to recover from her high, when I fall next to her on the bed, still not able to believe that all of this is real. Turning to me, she starts moving some stamped locks from my forehead, although I use that soft gesture to pull her from her wrist and make her wrap her arm around me so I can feel her closer.

While I look her in the eyes, and how they look at me as if I were the only person in the world for her, I instantly remember how I made her feel bad just a few hours ago.

—I'm sorry about tonight —I apologize again—. You didn't deserve to be treated that way in the pub.

—Kook, we already talked it out.

—We didn't. I apologized and you let it go —I stop her, before she tries to move on from it again—. I should've thought better of you, but I was so blinded by the idea of you being into someone else... I'm just scared of losing you, losing this, being played with again. I know you wouldn't do that, but I can't help but be prepared for it.

As I speak, and I let all my insecurities drop with each one of my words, I feel the knot in my throat tightening. Not even her fingers playing with my hair can make me feel better right now.

—I'm not going anywhere, Kook —she assures me—. Not now, not tomorrow. So get that idea clear in your head.

It's all about the honesty in her words, and how she makes sure I understand each one of them while looking deep into my eyes. I want to speak, tell her everything that's going on in my head when it comes to her, but I know I won't be able to say a word without accidentally sobbing. When I cover my face, as soon as I feel my lips trembling, she simply pulls me in for a hug.

—I thought you wanted me to say cute things to you —she teases me.

I giggle on her chest, hiding my face from her, before I move back again, just to look at her. It's right then, when she weeps some of my tears away and rubs my cheeks ever so gently, that I know what all those mixed thoughts mean, and how I could express them perfectly in just one sentence.

—I think I'm in love with you, cocktease.

When she stops, and looks at me intensely, I know she's not ready to say those words back yet. But I didn't say it because I wanted to hear the words back, I just said them because I wanted to let her know everything she causes in me.

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #tattooau #jungkook pov #Under His Skin #reader insert #armpirate

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writingjourney · 1 month

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Hi, I really love your writing! :3 i hate to be a bother, but do you think you have any advice for me? I want to write some fics of my own. Short ones mostly, but I still keep running into various problems. I'm good at description and I'm decent at dialogue for the most part, but when it comes to actually moving a scene forward and making things happen, or even just moving from one scene to the next, I have absolutely no idea how to proceed. Like, everyone present at the time just ends up talking in circles without managing to say anything new or pertinent. And even when I have every major bit that I want to happen planned out, I cannot figure out how to actually get it to each point or even to A point at all. At any rate, thank you for your time, even if you don't respond to this, and I hope you have a good day/evening :)

Thank you anon ♡ Sorry I was a little busy today so I didn't have any time to properly reply until now!! You're not a bother at all, I love to talk about writing!!!! Some more in-depth thoughts below the cut :)

I definitely know what you mean. It's hard to keep scenes concise while also making sure the pacing is neither too fast nor too slow and adding the details you want in there without rambling on. Pacing depends on the scene and the story you want to tell (faster pace for action, slower pace for calmer moments, more description/longer scenes = slower pace etc etc) – you can shorten or stretch scenes as much as you want to. You definitely should be following your own style and not try to adapt to what you think a fic/story in general should look like.

That being said, I get that sometimes you want to move a scene forward and it doesn't always work out. Usually, this happens to me when I am not very excited about what's happening right now and need a change (or I don't know what happens next). You can start working on a scene that excites you more. I am a bit chaotic like that, I just write out scenes and dialogue lines and paragraphs as they come to me and then I just link them up later. You can link scenes by time-skipping, by adding some introspection, a character's observations etc. And yes, show don't tell is good advice but not every single thing always needs to be written out in detail and sometimes you just have to say that it's the next day and move on.

Or... well, you literally change the scene at hand. Have the characters get interrupted if they can't wrap up the convo, someone disturbs them, one of them realizes they have an appointment, it suddenly starts to rain – throw stuff at them that makes them become active again. Sometimes re-writing helps as well. Not editing, rewriting. Keep the OG draft but write the scene again from scratch. We get so attached to lines we've written we don't always check to see if they still fit. Push stuff around, change the order of things, just try on some changes and see if it flows nicer.

Another thing I can recommend if you want to go from BIG scene to BIG scene is to add some smaller scenes for transition. I like to do this, make the character reflect on the events while doing some menial task, have them meet someone else and have the reflection happen via conversation, have them just observe their surroundings, have them dedicate some time to their hobby – it all gives us new info about the character and it won't feel as much like BAM BAM BAM big scene after big scene. Quiet before the storm.

Now, you said you want to write short fics, so I'm not sure if you mean just drabble/ficlet type of stories or more elaborate one-shots instead of longer multi chapters like I sometimes do? The key I would say to a very short fic is to start off strong. Jump straight into the scene and don't be scared to omit the backstory and descriptions, it's hard but if you want to keep it short it's necessary to really think about which descriptions make sense. I'm not good at super short fics usually unless I'm possessed by one specific scene that doesn't need much context, so perhaps I'm not the best to ask.

For one shots with multiple shorter scenes I think you need to also just be brave and skip around. Scenes don't always need long transitions, sometimes it's a few days later when the next notable thing happens and that's where you continue. Again, I think strong scene openers really help here. Draw the reader into the next scene and they won't even notice. You can always add more description later should it feel clunky. Read the transitions aloud, that also helps to see if they flow nicely.

I hope this was any help at all. Please feel free to ask again if something is unclear, if I should go into more detail for some of it or you have any other questions :) ♡

#asks #anon #writing things

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throwawaydracula · 2 years

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Some Thoughts on Mrs. Westenra

So, she's dead now. And let's be frank, from a purely functional literary standpoint, her main purpose was to serve as an obstacle for the protagonists to overcome. The fact that everybody-- including poor Lucy-- had to walk on eggshells lest they tax too much Mrs. Westenra's heart was a pretty handy setup to maintain a sense of drama and to oblige our heroes not to face problems head-on. Her removal of the garlic caused a reversal of fortune that imperiled Lucy once, and now twice. In some ways she’s just short of being a Diabolus ex Machina.

Lots of people hate her. This includes my own septuagenarian mum, who I called up specially in preparation for writing this post, because I wanted her opinion particularly given who Mrs. Westenra was. Mrs. Westenra could be taken as another stock character—The Stupid (or more gently but no less contemptuously) Silly Old Woman. It’s an archetype that shows up with odd regularity; it’s especially common in the Regency and Victorian and Edwardian stuff I’ve read, but she shows up today, too. Oftentimes she ends up being a repository for all those qualities that have been deemed ‘feminine weaknesses’, even in works that are otherwise female-friendly or actively feminist. Something I thought about mentioning in an earlier post, but cut because it seemed too much a digression, is that for some reason misogyny seems to become more palatable to a lot of people when it’s combined with ageism.

It would be easy to assume Stoker was in that camp, too. Make no mistake, the man was not what we would call a progressive today, nor even what we’d call a progressive in the 1890s—but he doesn’t seem to have been a diehard reactionary, either. Believe me, you’d be able to tell. Add to this the fact that the Whitman letter and his visit to a post-Exile Oscar Wilde confirm that his private opinions didn’t always match up with what he said publicly, either, and you end up with�� well, a lot of possibilities for interpreting what Stoker might have meant at any given point. Of course, what an author “means” is not the be-all and end-all—no-one is perfectly awake to their own presuppositions and unconscious biases, no-one can be aware of all the possible implications of anything they communicate. But I am going to be working under the assumption that Stoker felt a little of Van Helsing’s sympathy for Mrs. Westenra, or that he could at least comprehend such sympathy as legitimate rather than simply the result of extreme softheartedness.

First, consider that Mrs. Westenra did not have any of the information we have, or that the other characters have. She knew her daughter is ill, but she had no idea how ill. Lucy is apparently very good at acting even when she feels absolutely terrible. As far as Mrs. Westenra knew, Lucy’s chronic illness was more of an inconvenience than anything. Yes, she knew a foreign expert was getting involved, but for all she knew that was just a personal favor—Jack being extra nice and considerate, and his mentor being very gracious. Nobody told her otherwise. She did realize Lucy was sick enough to warrant a doctor, but not that she had—before the flower episode—needed two freaking blood transfusions. So she was not on high alert, because everyone was afraid putting her on high alert would kill her.

Secondly: Mrs. Westenra was herself dying. She was given mere months to live. I can imagine that being, to put it lightly, somewhat distracting. Seward at least seems to agree with me on that point, because here’s his interpretation of Mrs. Westenra’s mental state:

She was alarmed, but not nearly so much as I expected to find her. Nature in one of her beneficent moods has ordained that even death has some antidote to its own terrors. Here, in a case where any shock may prove fatal, matters are so ordered that, from some cause or other, the things not personal—even the terrible change in her daughter to whom she is so attached—do not seem to reach her. It is something like the way Dame Nature gathers round a foreign body an envelope of some insensitive tissue which can protect from evil that which it would otherwise harm by contact. If this be an ordered selfishness, then we should pause before we condemn any one for the vice of egoism, for there may be deeper root for its causes than we have knowledge of.

Note, please, the lack of judgement here. This is important because the Victorians were very judgey people (about as judgey as we Tumblrians). Basically Mrs. Westenra was so caught up with the whole “you’re not going to live to see next year” thing that most of her thoughts were turning inward. And as Seward muses, that’s not only understandable, it’s kind of beneficial—she’s less susceptible to shock because of it. He directly compared the psychological state to a biological process, seeing it as natural and purposeful. Unfortunately, although it kept her alive longer than it might have, it also kept her from being as observant or reflective as she otherwise might have been.

Removing the garlic flowers from Lucy’s room could be seen as a sort of side effect of this. Mrs. Westenra wanted to be able to do something for Lucy before she died. She wasn't even sure she'd see her only child marry. She wanted to be part of her daughter’s life in a positive way while she could, but wasn't really in a frame of mind conducive to thinking beyond the immediate. Yes, she didn’t want to let Lucy sleep in her room, earlier, but as Lucy surmises that might have been because she didn’t want Lucy worrying about her. Or—even more tragically given current circumstances—she might have been afraid that when Lucy woke up, it would be to Mrs. Westenra’s corpse. Note that this last time, she still didn’t intend to stay the full night.

All that said: I do not think removing the garlic was excusable. Yes, I am aware of miasma theory and that Mrs. Westenra’s concerns about the smell were understandable in that light. However, by this point Mrs. Westenra was aware that two doctors, one of them a foreign expert, was seeing Lucy. It would have behooved Mrs. Westenra to at least wait to ask the doctor if the removing the plants was all right, even if she had not assumed that the doctor had placed them there. The very fact that someone had apparently gone to a lot of trouble putting all the garlic flowers there should have given her pause. It’s really not a good idea to remove something apparently deliberately constructed if you don’t know why it’s there. It was really quite officious of her to do that without asking, especially knowing both Seward and Van Helsing could be consulted.

At the same time, Van Helsing’s neglectfulness in telling Mrs. Westenra what the flowers were for is also not excusable. No, ‘not wanting to worry Mrs. Westenra because of her heart condition’ is not sufficient. Seward and Van Helsing still could have downplayed the seriousness of Lucy’s condition while explaining the garlic flowers did have medicinal value. Van Helsing himself is the only one at this point who understands what the garlic is really for; he has Seward’s trust, but Seward is his student. Seward has had a long time to develop implicit trust in Van Helsing, but Mrs. Westenra has not. It was really quite officious of him to assume he didn't need to give even a token explanation to Lucy’s own mother. He managed to explain things to her in the wake of the disaster just fine.

Note, please, I’m not looking for someone to pillory here. We don’t need to single someone out for fault, we don’t have to point out the guilty party and chant ‘shame, shame, shame’. People make mistakes with tragic results all the time, and I personally think a need to assign blame is counterproductive in many instances. Sometimes it's better to just try to fix things. Van Helsing certainly thought the same.

How much sympathy Stoker intended Mrs. Westenra to be read with is ambiguous to me. Having both Seward and Van Helsing interpret her sympathetically doesn’t necessarily mean Stoker did. That said, Victorian writers generally weren’t subtle when it came to pointing out who their audience ought to be seeing in a positive or negative light, and using characters as mouthpieces for that. Stoker might have been using Mrs. Westenra as a device to cause problems for the heroes, but I’m not sure he conceived of her as someone his audience should outright hate. She may well have been someone he pitied as much as anyone in the novel despite mostly using her to cause problems. But again, who knows, really. Plenty of books are written with an intent to ridicule, while the object of that ridicule comes across more sympathetically than the characters we’re supposed to root for.

I have come to the point where I feel more sorry for Mrs. Westenra than anything. She was a dying woman who loved her daughter and tried to help her, even if she didn’t make the best decisions. That said? Even I admitted I would have found it kind of cathartic if Van Helsing privately started cussing her out a bit. Never said it was rational or justified, just that it would be cathartic. My mum absolutely hates Mrs. Westenra because of what they have in common—she told me she hated her when she first read the book, and only dislikes her more now that she’s raised children to adulthood herself, and also taken care of her own mother in her old age. On that note, my sister also hates Mrs. Westenra. Haven’t talked to my dad about it but I reckon he’d probably hate her too.

And you know what? It's OK that they hate her. It’s also OK that some people aren’t even slightly upset with her, it’s OK that they feel unmixed sympathy for her and disagree with me about the decisions she made. It’s OK that people react differently to the same character. There is no ‘correct’ emotional response. If there’s anything I genuinely hate to see in some forms of literary criticism (or anywhere else) it’s the idea that there is one correct reaction to a complicated situation, especially in fiction. Dictating other peoples' feelings never ends well. It is a good thing that we have so many different perspectives on all this, and I'm glad to see people aren't afraid to disagree with each other.

#dracula daily #dracula daily meta #dracula spoilers #long post #cut for length

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lukewarmbreadatamoderatepace · 10 months

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given that social media sites now remain active for a decade or more, I feel like the old blocking systems need to change and adapt to account for that. Someone I blocked literally 10 years ago on tumblr might well be an entirely different person by now! (and vice versa-- lord knows I was Much Worse ten years ago! If I encountered 10-years-ago-me today, I'd probably block her too!) There's accounts way back in my blocklist that it's very likely I blocked for reasons I no longer endorse.

Realistically I think this is probably rare edge cases, and no one besides me would actually use this kind of thing rather than just hardblock forever, and so it wouldn't actually worth the effort of tweaking relative to other things you could spend that effort on. But material reality never stopped an Ideas Guy from spouting off with Ideas and I'm not letting it stop me

Things that seem useful to include in blocking systems:

"Reason for block" included as a field when you block a person (optionally the person could be shown this? Kinda like how subreddit bans work from what I remember) (discord's ability to attach notes to any given user is SO USEFUL and I wish every social media had this, as someone who is so so bad at remembering people with my brain)

Some kind of timeout-- after X years, a lil popup that asks if you want to review blocks for people who are still active on the site (if the blocked account is inactive it won't come up unless it becomes active again)

Block appeal feature? I've known people who have a stance to the effect of "message me on anon if I've blocked you and you want me to unblock you and we can talk about it" which is kind of an awkward approach. Which actually doesn't even work any more since you can no longer send anon messages without being logged into an account. ^This seems really easily abusable (any avenue where a blocked person can contact the person who blocked them is fraught) and I'm not sure how you work around that. One appeal per [X] years?

Oh also this is different but like. An "ignore" feature as the default form of blocking. There's a decent number of accounts I have blocked because I find them obnoxious (or have other baggage), but I don't regard them as like, a harassment threat, and if I could just make my internet experience one that's indistinguishable from one where they don't exist, but without preventing them from reblogging stuff I'm the OP of, I'd do that. (Probably? Probably I would do that.)

I wish there was a way to crowdsource blocklists that wasn't super duper incredibly vulnerable to abuse. Probably the fix here is just, like, subcommunities with established norms and moderation (this is why everyone's migrating to discord!)

#meh

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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 1 year

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Thinking about Thirteen

pretty sure this is the first time I write something Romantic on purpose (will still have my humour though), sorry if it´s OOC because I couldn´t really find anything about Thirteen and don´t really feel like re-reading the lessons

honestly after writing this it just turned out to be me fangirling over Thirteen

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you will get roped into interesting… Dates? Hang outs?

sometimes you get to help her making traps

or you get used as bait so she can get Solomon

which once horribly backfired when Solomon invited you both to cook for you guys

or just help her prank some of the poor exchanges students or inhabitants of the Devildom

and sadly this will happen like 80% of the time

but! the other 20% are spent doing cute couples stuff

or as cute as it can get with you two

and to be fair pranking also counts as a couple activity for you two

but you also spend time baking (most of the time Thirteen is just there for sweets, she does occasionally help out though), making everyone jealous (mostly the Brothers because they can´t spend time with you), visiting some nice bakeries and other very sappy date ideas which I´m sure everyone reading this knows more about this than me

on some occasions she even let´s you do her hair

depending on your skills you make some really fancy hairstyles if not she just get´s a really nice braid or very nicely brushed hair

also you get cuddles!

I mean not all the time because getting Solomon´s soul is a tiny bit more important

but you still get a bunch of cuddles! and it´s really comfy too!

also if you have similar height you could swap clothes

and I mean who wouldn´t want to because they look really cool

WAIT I just thought about something else, sleepy cuddles

just cuddling up together, falling asleep

or just imaging her waking up before you and just lovingly watching you

gently caressing your face and waking you up with a kiss

or just a very sweet snow date

just both of you walking through the snow holding hands, enjoying the snow (and Thirteen definitely didn´t try to put snow in your shirt) or just generally having a good time curled up somewhere with a warm beverage enjoying time with each other

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fun fact the original title I came up with was just “OP´s feeling very Gay today aka I want to write about being in a Relationship with Thirteen” and I changed it like twice after this because this is literally just me fangirling over Thirteen

it also isn´t really good but at least I tried

also writing this made realize I´m very attached to a character we barely see

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me thirteen

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moonlit-imagines · 11 months

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an update <3

so, it’s been a while since i’ve really tried to keep up with this blog. you may have noticed most lists are outdated, i haven’t really posted anything and when i do, it’s few and far between. i thought it was because i just lost my motivation to write.

but i started focusing on that novel from a year or two ago!! the inspiration doesn’t stop flowing for it and i’ve been riding this high for a while, it’s made me so happy to write without any pauses or writer’s block, because i really do love writing.

i know that i keep trying to say “hey, i might write something soon,” “sorry, i’m working on this request i’m just busy,” “please forgive me i want to do this event soon i just don’t have the time or motivation,” but it’s time i’m honest with myself that i don’t think i’m that invested in imagines and reader insert anymore and trying to force myself to write things that no longer draw any inspiration just makes me resent writing entirely. i cant even keep up with my fandoms anymore.

this blog has been the best thing i’ve ever created, but i’d like to do more. work on things that keep me going and make me happy. and for a long time this was that for me, but i guess i just outgrew it.

for four years this blog has been active (well, maybe not the most active recently), and in that time i’ve wrote some stuff i’m really proud of, had these ideas that i fell in love with and some of you might have too. i absolutely loved the idea of writing things that helped you guys through your lives, as well. things that made you feel seen and included, whatever made you laugh or cry, sparked your own inspiration. hell, i had a ton of people tell me that my writing helped them learn english, which absolutely floored me. it was the most meaningful thing i felt i could have done. i hope i can do that again someday, either returning to this blog or going a different route.

that being said, this blog will NOT be deactivated. not only do i know a lot of you revisit my old work, but i’d love to look back on it too. this blog has a lot of memories attached to it. it has my hard work on it. it has sweet messages and support from both sides on it. and not only that, i made a lot of wonderful friends on here. and i feel i’ll continue to do so!!

i encourage you guys to keep messaging me, sharing your ideas, asking for advice, telling me your stories!! i’d like to be here for you guys. as a friend or writer. i’ve always been ecstatic when someone asks for writing advice or blog advice, it’s something i always know i can help with.

the burnout almost got the best of me, but this novel i’ve decided to write has been the best idea i’ve had in a while. it got me to love what i love once again. i hope you all understand and we can continue to support each other throughout our journeys. i wouldn’t be who i am today without you all.

much love xx

-lacey

#random post

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starcrossedjedis · 7 months

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hiii hiii i am back (on my searching for opla oc crumbs voyage bc my exam-taking ass needs to live through y’all rn), and again i would like to screech abt Sun bc umm?? how could you give her so much pain?? also i need to know more abt her power?? like what does the sairen sairen no mi do and is it the fruit that gave Sun her full name or is it just a coincidence since it sounds very much like siren (if that was intentional i would like to steal your brain for naming oc purposes thank you /j); pls and thank you and i hope you feel better soon!! (if you’re still feeling under the weather that is..?)

Oh babe you can come here for crumbs anytime, it be keeping the hyperfixation going 🤩

I hope you're doing well aside from the exam taking. I'm actually alright, even though rn I am feeling more under the uterus than the weather 😂

Let's preface today's deep dive by me reassuring you that you do not - not - wanna be me when it comes to naming OCs. Literally, for like the first week her name was "either Lya or Sun", followed by a few days of her being "probably Sun but WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO ABOUT HER LAST NAME???" 🤣

And THEN as I proceeded to look for her special power was when it all came together -

I knew I didn't want to give her a Haki (mostly because she is a Shanks!OC and he already is The Conquerer's Haki Dude), so devil fruit it was. I spent a day or so going up and down and back up the list of known devil fruits and didn't find a single one that tickled my pickle. But - like so many times over the past weeks - it was @bravelittleflower to the rescue, because she pointed me to the mythical zoan devil fruits who basically turn people who eat them into mythical creatures and I decided that "fuck it, Imma just make my own"

By that time I had already gotten it in my head that I wanted "Lya or Sun Whatever-The-Hell-her-name-is" to be a more feminine, sensual character (maybe because Nami, at least in the beginning, was a little too Not Like The Other Girls for my taste ^^'), so sth of the nymph/dryad/mermaid/siren variety seemed like an obvious choice.

Google translate told me the Japanese word for siren was "sairen", making her fruit the Sairen Sairen No Mi and my brain just took the jump from there to "Sun the Siren / Sairen Sun" and since I still hadn't found a last name I liked, I thought a moniker that was actually given to her in the brothel at Shells Town would be a great place holder. It also makes for a pretty great pirate name tbh. ^^

(she has a last name btw, a last name we will learn later on and it comes with ✨drama✨ attached)

When we start the story, Sun doesn't know who gave her the fruit and she isn't really all that clear on the true magnitude of her powers. When we meet her, she simply has to touch men (and probably some women, too 😏) and tell them what she wants them to do.

(that did come in handy when teenage!Sun was looking to avoid chores at the bar or when harbour whore Sun left the less savory clients with the distinct impression that putting their hands on themselves rather than her would be the height of extasy 😈)

Her power doesn't work in active fight situations, which is why she is also able to hold her own with knives (although Zoro sees a lot of room for improvement and - much to Sanji's dismay - takes it upon himself to train her xD).

Maybe it's also her power that makes it easy for her to make friendships (one of the reasons Nami doesn’t like her at first is a kind of envy at how easy it is for Sun to fit in with this new group of people while she has to keep her distance). It could be that it makes people more open to her, but it's actually sth that makes her less self assured rather than more, because there is always that little bit of doubt about wether people care about her or if it's just her power at play.

I am also looking to expand on her powers as the story progresses (one version of the "Sun and Shanks reunite" ideas especially has great potential for Shanks trying to teach her to really tap into her ability).

"And how exactly do I do that?" - "You use it on me." 🥵

#sairen sun #sun the siren #bring me the horizon #my ocs #reply #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ❤️❤️❤️

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bastardbvby · 1 year

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I feel like q is slowly getting his karma with QSMP. We have two complaining about the eggs & the roleplay and said they won’t come back until the eggs are gone, Spreen & Rubuis. Spreen today said that he felt forced with the eggs and he doesn’t like the rp so he won’t be involved with it. We have another person leaving because they’re “too busy” and Wilbur going on tour soon. That’s 4 ppl. 😭 I wouldn’t be surprised if more people start complaining about the eggs.

help i saw people on dash talking about how those 4 were going to be inactive but its still crazy to conceptualize especially because the initial group was already pretty small...i feel like the people remaining are all very into the egg idea unfortunately,, i mean u had phil threatening to not play until his were given back a life and just the other day im pretty sure bad spent like over an hour messaging the admins when his egg lost a life and they literally roleplayed the entire series of events to see if the death was justified (they declared it wasnt) but like they've all got Seriously attached but i also cant see this being sustainable long term as like a daily activity so its interesting just watching it kind of crumble

#asks #thank u anon <3

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atomicsuperrobot · 1 year

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It’s time for more unpopular opinions with Neg! Gonna fire this off into the main tag, too; just like last time, I’m also gonna turn off notifications after a bit if it starts to get to be too much (seriously I’m still getting notes for the last one; thank god for XKit Rewritten).

Anyhoosier, a surprising amount of people hate Wes. ... Well. Not surprising that they hate him, but more surprising as in their reason why: one of the more popular original concepts surrounding Wes, was that he was a general conspiracy theorist, rather than just simply out to get Danny specifically for any given reason. In fact, one of the original ideas, iirc, was that he more often than not came to the almost correct conclusions- but for all of the wrong reasons, or with some of the details not actually lining up. It was these errors that, in spite of hitting the nail on the head more than once, caused people to never believe him, bc while he was technically right, his “evidence” and reasoning was complete bullshit.

Now personally, I find this idea a lot funnier than what you usually see today. (Tho, I feel that way about a lot of popular headcanons that were birthed many years ago- like blob ghosts, for example; tho that one’s a bit more of a personal thing, since I was actually around for the inception of the idea in the first place, and even took a small part in it- but that’s another story for another day, if I even feel like it.) It’s more general, a lot less serious- mostly just a one-off joke, before people started getting really attached to him. But people started to take issue with this concept, for some reason, and retained this irritation into his current popular iterations, in spite of them being somewhat different than this early concept. For some reason, this related to Valerie, and her character arc.

You see, for some reason, people seemed to think that Wes took something away from Valerie- they would cite that she was canonically a conspiracy theorist, who tracked ghosts down and things like that. While the latter bit certainly is true, the former is... well, it’s a misunderstanding. Valerie isn’t interested in cryptids in general; she’s hunting ghosts, specifically. She might look into cryptid sightings, but only so far as to determine whether it’s a ghostly “threat” or not- in Amity and surrounding areas, it usually is some manner of ghost; whether or not it’s actually an active threat is usually irrelevant to Valerie’s prejudice.

The difference that I am trying to point out is that Valerie isn’t looking into unknown possibilities, but very well known and documented threats, that she takes it upon herself to hunt down. The idea behind Wes, be it the old or the modern iteration, is that, no matter what specifically he’s focused on, he isn’t trying to eliminate or contain it, but rather prove it’s existence in the first place. He wants to expose something as the truth; he doesn’t know anything for sure like Valerie does, and he isn’t trying to cause harm like Valerie is, regardless of the ultimate potential consequences of correctly exposing someone or something for once (whether or not he actually cares about causing indirect harm in his goals, depends on the individual interpretation of his character).

Teal Deer of this situation is: fundamentally and in practice, Valerie’s and most common portrayal’s of Wes’ goals and activities are wildly different. It’s a little bit of a disservice to Valerie to misinterpret her actions like this, too, imo; she’s not some curious researcher, but an educated hunter, who wouldn’t waste time on something that wasn’t even proven to exist- unless she had reason to believe for certain that it was a ghost. Wes, meanwhile, was only ever just some guy, with a fringe interest/hobby. It feels kind of silly to even compare them at all, especially Wes’ root iteration as a joke character, which is where nearly all of the more recent takes even come from, whether they know it or not.

#Mun Post #Danny Phantom #Long Post #I feel like I originally had better points when I first thought of this issue; but I cannot remember them/cannot phrase them properly #basically it's a bit reductive to Valerie to even compare her to the fandom's popular iteration of Wes #and before anybody says anything; I am fully aware that a lot of people made it into a race thing #meanwhile anybody doing anything at all with Wes' character had Zero intentions of any of this fallout at all lmao

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solarsavoy · 2 years

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Character Tuesday, Karma Akabane

I wasn't sure who to do for Character Tuesday, or what, so I randomly decided to do all the flavors for Karma Akabane from my current Ask game. If you'd like other thoughts from me about him or you'd like me to do another ask game for him, today is Karma day, so feel free to send it in. (I'm okay if this bleeds into tomorrow and unless by some miracle I'm overwhelmed with requests, I should get them all done within a timely manner.)

Alright, here we go!

All the flavors for headcanons of Karma Akabane. 😉

1 – Favorite color?

I've a feeling he likes being annoyingly cliche on some things, so red.

2 – Hobbies?

Videogames, but I don't think he's a hardcore gamer. I think he likes to play the game and then set it down. He's not a completionist, but he's willing to play over and over again from the beginning because it's entertaining. I also think that after the events of 3-E, he became a closet bookworm for self-help, personal betterment stuff and politics because knowledge is power, but he wouldn't want to be perceived as a nerd. And then the final bit, going into that dark hole that is the internet to learn strange, weird or random things. Not just because he got caught up in it like the rest of us, but because he actually enjoys it.

3 – What are their strengths?

He knows how to get to people and manipulate them. He isn't afraid to hurt them to make them do what he wants, and will often follow through. He also understands people and can place them in areas they would most excel in should he take the lead for any reason (Discord Time), but he prefers a hands-off approach. And then, duh, he's super smart.

4 – What are their weaknesses?

Prone to arrogance. Blindsided by emotion, particularly anger. Would rather deflect than confront on matters of the heart.

5 – Favorite food(s)?

Anything that can be perceived as weird for others. It's not the taste, it's the effect it has on other people. And strawberries.

6 – Least favorite food(s)?

You know, I had to think about this one, but I think it might be sour things. (No idea if it goes against canon, or if canon specifies, but here's my reasoning…) He likes spicy and strange, but that doesn't leave a lot of room for sour. I could see him being turned off by things with a lot of vinegar because in canon he's a fan of wasabi (spicy) and strawberries (sweet). Let me know your thoughts in the comments or if canon says otherwise because I'm not super attached to this answer. 😅

7 – What would be their dream job?

Bureaucrat for a legal job, reconnaissance/infiltration spy for his secret/illegal job. I don't think he'd ever want to be an assassin. There has to be some type of string pulling that utilizes his intelligence during the action and then he would just sit back and watch the effects of his work unfold. It does have to have the watching part though because if it required constant activity, I think he'd hate it.

8 – What is their DND alignment?

Chaotic evil with respect for neutrality. I do think he's evil, in a way, because there's no such thing as going too far, unless he cares about them, which is where neutral comes in. He isn't above torturing those he cares about, but he wouldn't want to "permanently" hurt them. An example of this would be if he were to defend someone against a bully, he'd turn around and prank the victim later with the excuse "I'm just trying to toughen you up!" when really, he just wants you to be okay with his torture. It's one of those "only I'm allowed to torment you" kind of things. Oh, he'll test limits. And that's why I think he's chaotic evil.

9 – What is their hidden talent?

His taste buds are deadened to extreme spice. The reason he likes it so much is because it seems to pain others and he'll barely taste the spice in comparison. Here's an example of this being true for at least one other character.

youtube

It's a really funny movie, btw. 😆 Anyway, that's what I think his hidden talent is. I also feel like he wouldn't tell anyone about it because he gets a kick out of people thinking he enjoys the burn, when in reality, he has a high fire resistance.

10 – List a personality quirk of this person.

I'm sure we all know roughly what all his personality quirks are because of the anime, so it's hard to come up with something new or specific, but here it is. Every single time he opens a straw, every single time, he tears off one end and blows in it, shooting it at someone. Even if he doesn't know anyone around him, he has to shoot it at someone. He has to. It's like an OCD thing now. He ends up doing this to kids a lot and then they pick up on how to do it themselves and start doing it too. Parents everywhere wonder where the hell their kid learned it from. 😆 It doesn't work as well on the strawberry milks though.

11 – List something strange/weird/unexpected about this character that their loved ones probably don’t know about them.

He loves it when things work out for the best despite his attempts to make a situation worse. (Ex: Kristmas Karma, lots of blood and a happy ending 😏)

12 – What is their complex? (Sister, inferiority, etc) Explain.

He has a bit of a superiority complex but not to the point where it hurts or demeans others, he's just arrogant as hell.

13 – What is their main sin of the seven deadly ones?

Pride. Yeah, it's pride. There is nothing else for him, it's pride, hands down. Sloth is second though.

14 – How would they be as a parent?

I think being a parent would change a lot of things about him. He'd be chaotic good instead of evil. He'd refrain from manipulating them, but encourage the kid's attempts to manipulate him instead. I think he would be proud and loving and kind and even try to work from home or just become a stay at home parent because he wants to be there. It might even be to the point of being monumentally clingy. Only in the case of Karmanami do I see him actually succeeding in being a stay at home parent though. Nagisa wouldn't make enough as a teacher to support them, Gakushuu wouldn't let him live it down, and Rio just flat out wouldn't let him. I do think he'd obsess over being there all the time though, because his own parents never were.

15 – What is their main love language?

Words of Affirmation. He knows how to use them and they're the only things that can inspire real change in him. Like when Korosensei teased him for ranking 11 (I think it was 11…) and Karma started studying (in secret because pride) from that point on. Words are the only things that reach him, and if you don't follow through on enough stuff, it'll crush his spirits and hurt him deeply, whether or not he shows it. (Reference: Kristmas Karma)

16 – How do they act around a crush?

Teasing, joking, playing, pranking and a whole bunch of unwarranted attention. Because he likes you. poke It doesn't even have to be romantic or a crush, per se. If he likes you, at all, he will tease you. It's possible this is a calculated attack so no one will know who he like likes. 😆

17 – How do they act when they are in love?

I think in this stage, he speaks to all the love languages but his own. The reason is because of spontaneity. He'll buy you something if it reminds him of you. (Gifts) He'll hug you just because, but only when you're busy. (lol, Touch) He'll take random trips out to the beach or the mall or the arcade or even something more grand just because he wants you to himself for a while. (Time) He'll do something precisely because you didn't think he would if you asked him. He'll clean or cook when you least expect it or need it most. (Acts) It's about the spontaneity though. It's not that I think he'd never compliment the person or confess his love, but I imagine he would rarely use his words just to prove how special someone is to him. The lack of words would make it a challenge, which requires more effort, and thought, and does so much more than just saying "I love you". But if he's won you over with everything else, that's when he'd use his words… like the cherry on top.

18 – How would they react to a confession of love?

Depends on who it's from. Regardless, I think he'd blush. Actually, I'm changing that. If he doesn't expect it to come from the person that confesses, he'd blush, because it surprised him. If he knew it was coming, I think he'd pointedly not blush and do his best to make the confessor blush instead. Then I imagine he'd get all touchy feely and goofy and happy and attached to that person all day. Similar reactions if it surprises him, but he'd be delayed a bit before it all catches up. 😊

19 – How do they show their love/affection?

Similar to 17, but if the relationship has been established for a while, the things he would do would be smaller. An example would be him asking the person to hang out that day without a plan in mind, but instead of asking just whenever, it'd be on a day he knew they were free. And then it'd be something simple like going to the park or looking at the stars or just being around each other in general. Instead of eating out, he'd order in. Instead of the movies, it'd be something on Netflix. He'd be a lot more comfortable and because of that, a lot less grand in his gestures of love.

20 – What is their idea of a good time?

Staying at home and just chilling. If not at home, wreaking some havoc on some poor innocent soul. There is no in between. He's either completely active or temporarily dormant.

21 – Describe their ideal date.

I had to think on this one a while. I think he goes all out. And not necessarily financially. I think he would try to create the other person's ideal date and what makes it ideal for him is that he did it and pulled it off with 100% accuracy. So I guess I think his ideal date is making one so perfect that the person will talk about it forever, even if they break up. Like, "he was that good, why did I break up with him?" kinda good. Partially to hold it over their head. And if they were to break up, to torment them every time they go out with someone else. At least I'm sure that's what he'd spitefully imagine.

22 – How do they handle drama?

He avoids it, mostly. Unless it's something that pisses him off, I think he tends to not engage. It just doesn't interest him.

23 – What is their sexual preference/sexuality?

I can literally see him all over the spectrum for this. I can see him being asexual, hypersexual, bisexual, polyamorous, kinky af… (surprisingly, I can't see him as straight or gay. He's either both or he's neither.)

24 – What is their BDSM tag? (Brat, sub, Master, vanilla, etc)

I touch upon this a bit more in this post here, but to put it simply, he's a sadist brat. Equally both.

25 – What is their phobia or greatest fear?

I think it is willingly becoming vulnerable to someone and his judgement of trust ending up being wrong. To put it another way, allowing himself to feel only to learn he got tricked into exposing his weakness. It's different from straight up betrayal. It is a type of betrayal, but I think the reason he backed off from Nagisa so completely before 3-E was because he was considering being comfortable with him emotionally when Nagisa literally just snuck past his defenses physically. This made him reconsider and then choose to abandon the mysterious, possible traitor, immediately.

26 – What is their emotional damage?

To go along with 25, I think his emotional damage is trusting people with his feelings, especially the deep ones. I think it has something to do with the fact that his parents weren't really around and they left behind a huge pile of broken promises and crushed hopes. When Karma finally decided to look elsewhere, the teacher betrayed him. I think the crushing blow is that until that teacher, he believed he was supposed to trust the adults, that they could handle it. When they proved they couldn't, that was the moment he decided he couldn't trust anyone. Not with anything that mattered.

27 – How do they handle emotional pain?

With violence, but I imagine he tries to hold it back.

28 – How do they handle physical pain?

Also with violence. No warnings with this one though.

29 – What would bring them to kill someone?

I think he would do it in the moment and go a little crazy afterward. Despite his love of torture, I think he'd only be able to kill someone quickly. If it's slow, if it's a sort of assisted suicide, if he has too much time to think about, I think he'd back out. He'd only be able to do it in the moment, but it could be anyone for any reason. Which is why I think he'd go crazy.

30 – How would they react or change after they’ve killed someone?

I imagine he'd go on a killing spree, because if he gives his mind a chance to catch up, it'd hurt. He'd get lost in the blood, in the death, in the gore, but once the euphoria disappears, he'd be filled with regret and pain, reacting just as strongly as right after the kill. I think he'd even go so far as to seriously consider suicide. However, if he survived the whole ordeal, I think he'd settle into a new norm. He'd either justify it by making sure he never killed again, or justify it by continuing to kill because that is "just what he does now". As with other things, I don't think he has a middle ground with this one.

Some of these I came up with on the fly and I'm not super attached to them, but others you can see played out through my fic Kristmas Karma and I think they work pretty well for him. However, I'm always open to others' thoughts and headcanons of Karma. What are some that you have that differ from what I've put here? I'm always open to discussion. 😊

#daily delivery #Character Tuesday #karma akabane #assassination classroom #character analysis #solarsavoyasks #an ask no one asked for #Youtube

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