#but i don't feel emotional connection w my parents

[lovingmattysposts]

You don't know me 20

P1 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: mentions of wanting to self harm, mentions of death, mentions of depression, sadness.

also go ahead and pull up google translate now to make your life easier because there is some french words in this chapter, ily

xoxo, autumn

I pushed the door open slightly. Sydney was on her phone scrolling through it. "Hey, you're back early I didn't expect--" Her voice stopped when she saw my face. Once her eyes connected with mine, my eyes closed as my whole body curled, shaking as I sobbed.

"Y/n" She jumped up, her phone being long forgotten as she ran up to me, and held me up from falling. I laid against her, crying gasping for air. She just held me tight.

"W-What happened?" She asked quickly as I cried. I shook my head. "I-I don't know" I whispered as I cried. She sighed as she pulled me over to her bed. I curled up into a ball before I felt Sydney slide against me pulling me to her as her hands combed through my hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay. You're going to be okay" She whispered. I just shook my head, because the last possible thing I thought I was ever going to feel again was, okay.

chris pov

"Chris, wake up"

"Wake up"

I jolted up after feeling my shoulder being shoved. I rubbed my eyes as I sat up. I turned seeing my grandpa standing over me. "What?" I groaned as I blinked my eyes open.

I barley got any sleep last night, I couldn’t stop thinking. I couldn’t stop mourning a relationship that didn’t even happen. I hated that I was being shook away because when I woke up it shocked me back into reality. As soon as I woke up I realized and relived the emotions of last night over again as if it happened again right now.

"What is this?"

I looked up at him, then seeing the paper that was wrinkled in his hands. I looked up at him before grabbing the paper out of his hands. "Nothing" I mumbled. "Chris, what is that?" He said harshly. I sighed as I looked at my hands.

"Who wrote it?" He snapped. I licked my lips. "Christopher Owen, answer me" He snapped. I looked up at him. He never used my full first name unless he was mad mad.

"Y/n. Y/n wrote it okay?" I mumbled shaking my head. He stared down at me, before crossing his arms over his chest. "Why was it crumbled up outside?" He asked. I groaned leaning back against my pillows.

I did not want to have this conversation right now.

I felt him grab my arm pulling me back up harshly. I ripped my arm from him, glaring at him. "What the fuck?" I spat. "Why was it crumbled up outside?" He asked again. I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at his expression. Why was he so fucking angry? What time was it?

"Did you read it?" He asked raising his eyebrows. I blinked up at him swallowed. "I-" I mumbled. "Chris did you read it?" He said again. I shook my head. He took a step back before looking up at the ceiling.

I grabbed the paper in front of me, looking over the words written across is messily, like she had written it fast, some of the words crumbled slightly from the state of the paper. My heart raced as i read it.

Chris,

"tu m'as ouvert les yeux, car je ne pourrais jamais rembourser, parce que tu m'as montré un amour que je n'aurais jamais cru possible dans mes rêves les plus fous."

Did you know I spoke french? My parents started me in lessons when I was a little girl, now i'm fluent. I've never spoken the french that I've learned, afraid of embarrassment from my fears. Well my previous fears.

I thought the language was so beautiful, but I was afraid to speak it in front of others I was afraid they would think I was bragging in a sense. I didn’t want to step out of line and make more eyes noticed me. Sometimes i practice in my room at night so I know that I haven’t forgotten what I learned.

I don't really know what to say, this is why I'm writing it down because I know as soon as I look at you every thought that's in my head will vanish, because being around you felt like I was floating. Like I didn't have to think.

I think my tendencies for overthinking came from feeling like a stranger in my own skin, scared for judgment from everyone I was around. With you I feel safe, almost as if your arms are around me every second we're together guarding me from the harshness of the world.

The feeling of that is indescribable, which is why I have to write it because I can't think when I'm around you. I guess there is a word for that, but I was scared to say it to you. I was scared that you wouldn't say it back.

But I can't help from the fear leaving my body when I'm around you. I realized it isn't scary, because It's how I feel. You showed me what the feeling is, so it's only fair I tell you.

I guess I'll translate the quote for you. God why am I nervous? I'm sitting here in my bedroom writing this, nervous as if you're sitting right next to me staring at me. I guess a part of me always feels like you're around. Chris, it's one of the most comforting things in the world.

I broke up with Max---

My heart shattered as I stared at the page. I looked up at my grandpa who's jaw was hard looking down at me. I felt like someone stuck their hand into my chest and ripped my heart out with their bare fucking hands.

I swallowed as my eyes rescanned the page.

I broke up with Max today. It was scary. Fucking terrifying. But I did it, because I knew that if I didn't--If I stayed with him out of fear, I would never get to be with you. That's a worse punishment that being forced to be with someone who hurts me.

Okay, I'm rambling shit. Sorry I’m just writing down everything that comes to mind because I’m nervous. Okay, I'll translate the quote.

you opened my eyes, for I could never repay, because you showed me a love that I never thought possible in my wildest dreams.

Chris, I'm so madly in love with you. I have to fight the urge to say it every time I look at you, because I'm scared you won't say it back. But then I realized something. Love is unconditional. I started to think about it and I don't really care if you love me back.

Chris, you're so strong, you've been through so much. If you don't love me I completely understand that, but for once in my life--I'm not scared to sit here and tell someone what i'm thinking, what I'm feeling. Chris, I fucking love you.

I never really felt like I had a personality until I met you. Kissing you that night at the party, is the only thing in my life that I did right. That I'm proud of.

My biggest regret turned into the thing that saved me, that keeps me living and breathing, you.

I know how stupid this is to right it down, but I knew that I would lose my train of thought if I looked at you and said it, but for everyday until you get sick and tired of me, I'll tell you that I love you. Because feeling this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Your heart is so pure, you're so kind. The thought of ever losing you makes me sick to my stomach. I know i'm not perfect, I know i've put you through the ringer, because I'm fucking scared. But you don't make it scary. If you can forgive me for making you wait, I'll never let you regret it.

I'm writing this so fast, because I know you're gonna be knocking on my window any minute, and I'm also sorry for my shitty handwritting, fuck i'm so nervous, okay. I love you so much, I can't wait to give this to you. I’m actually shaking with nerves and excitement.

chaque enfer que j'ai traversé pour t'atteindre en valait la peine.

puis-je s'il te plaît être ta petite amie?

I pressed the note to my face as tears poured down my face. "Fuck" I cried. The feeling of the weight on my chest was indescribable. My shoulders shook as I held the note against my face.

"Please tell me you didn't crumble up that note in front of her" My grandpa whispered. I looked up at him, tears falling down my face. He sighed before pulling me up, as if I was a child and pulling me against him. I grabbed onto him and cried against him.

He just held me as I cried against him. "I can--can't lose her like I lost Rose." I cried. He held me tight against him. "How do I manage to fuck up every good thing that happens to me?" I cried pressing my face into his shoulder. He sighed as he rubbed my back.

-

y/n pov

"Are you going to school?"

I blinked at the wall, my eyes heavy from the lack of sleep. My chest heavy. I didn't answer. Sydney sighed and walked over to me. "Are you going to be okay if I go?" She asked softy. I didn't look up at her. She just stood above me, her bag over her shoulder.

She walked me home last night. She stayed with me all night until she fell asleep. I never did. I couldn't stop thinking. I stopped crying eventually. It felt like hours though, the sun had started to rise by then.

The noises stopped but the pain continued. The only thing I could think about, the only thing consuming me was the words he screamed at me.

"You're just like fucking Rose"

I closed my eyes. The one person who hurt him the most, he compared me too. I didn't have the energy to speak, tell him that wasn't true. If he would have just let me read the letter, if I would have just spoken up. I thought I was strong.

I wasn't.

Not without him.

It was a snap back into reality. Like when he started to raise his voice, every ounce of confidence he produced in me, came crashing at my feet. Showing me, you aren’t strong. You’re the weakest person ever and you always will be.

Sydney's hand came over the top of my head. "You look pretty" She whispered, smiling down at me. I glanced up at her. I didn't feel pretty. My entire life I've been praised for the way I looked, but I guess the downside of that was not being praised for the person who I was inside.

I'd rather be complimented on who I was, not what I looked like. But no one ever really stuck around to figure out that part of me. Not even the one person I showed it to.

"I never want to see you again"

I let out a breath. "I love you, y/n" She whispered before she walked towards my door and I heard it shut. I turned and laid against my pillows as I stared up at the ceiling.

Now, I wish I hadn't.

The stars lining the ceiling, dimly shining. I closed my eyes. Something bigger than yourself y/n, something bigger than your problems. I blinked my eyes opened. I couldn't even think when looking at my one escape anymore. Because now when I looked at the stars, all I saw was him.

"Happy birthday" He whispered against my lips.

I closed my eyes, feeling my chest clench. I meant everything I said in that letter. A letter that will now never be read. I rolled over, pulling the covers over my body. Maybe I just need some sleep. Sleep is good, sleep is peaceful.

-

My stomach growled angrily. I haven't moved. The sun set. Sydney texted me a few times. She was going out of town for the next two days with Cayden's family. I was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

I responded to her texts because I wanted to her to know that I was still alive. Still alive but not breathing. Not living. I've replayed last night in my head a milllion times. Played out different endings. Endings where I spoke up. Endings where the night ended with him telling me he loved me too.

Endings that don't exist.

The worst part about the whole thing is that I couldn't stop thinking about the old razors that laid beneath my drawers, hidden. I've fought my mind all day. All fucking day long. Telling myself I'm stronger than this. I'm stronger than my mind and thoughts.

The other part of my brain telling me, I have nothing left. I'd almost get up when my mind would move to the only person who saw them.

his lips trailed from the bottom ones all the way to the ones up my hipbone.

Pressing his lips to every, single, one.

I smiled down at him as my lips quivered. "You're so beautiful" He mumbled against my skin.

"Absolutely beautiful"

I swallowed, remembering how I felt in that moment. Wishing I could go back there. In that moment. It was the only thing keeping me in my bed and not walking over into my bathroom, that and the ill physical ability to move. That's the Chris I knew, not the one who shouted at me like I was a stranger.

I thought I was stronger than this, but I don't think I ever was. If I was strong I would have broken up with Max the second he laid his hands on me. If I was strong I would have taken control of my life a long time ago. If I was strong, I would have spoken up. If I had a fucking bone in my back, I would have never lost Chris.

The worst part is what he thinks of me. It wasn't fair, It wasn't true.

I wasn't strong. I was never strong.

My mother's words rang through my ears. "Standing up for yourself, does nothing but trouble for yourself." I used to live by that. Now I know that isn't true, because If it was. I wouldn't feel like this. Chris would be here, kissing me, telling me he loves me too. But he doesn't. He isn't.

I swallowed as my eyes closed. I hated being awake, because when I was awake, I thought. I hated thinking, because I never thought the right thing. Sleep. Just sleep. I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing the stars on my ceiling shining through my closed lids.

It wasn't fair.

Tap. Tap.

My eyes shot open and I froze. My head turned as I listened to the noise, over the wind blowing outside. It had started raining when I was asleep. It turned into a storm shortly after I woke up. The storm being the only thing I could focus on, because I didn't have the energy to do anything else. It was the only thing that alerted me that I was still alive, that this was all real.

So I just listened as the heavy rain started and the thunder boomed. Even the weather was taunting me.

Tap, Tap, Tap

My chest clenched. You're imagining it. You haven't eaten, you haven't drank any water. You're hallucinating. I sat up, running my hands over my face. I've resorted in full on hallucinations.

As the wind blew, the tapping came. I swallowed as my eyes trained on the door. I pushed the covers off of me and walked over to the door. My feet froze against the cold wood under my feet as I stalked over to the door.

Please be there. Please.

I pushed the door open before looking out onto the balcony. I heard the tap to my left. My head turned before seeing an overgrown branch from my tree tapping the glass of my door as the wind blew. A horrible feeling came up my throat as I stared at the tree branch that I had mistaken for someone who was never going to come knocking at my door ever again.

I felt my face scrunch up and my eyes watered as I walked over to the branch that was responsible for the noise, breaking it off before throwing it over my balcony, into the pool.

It making a splash sound when it hit the water. I leaned over the railing as I watched the branch plunge deep into the water and then bob up to the surface, floating.

"I like your eyes" I whispered not thinking as I just stared at him. He smiled as his hands were locked around my waist. We were in the declining part of the deep end, he could stand—I couldn't. So I held onto him for dear life.

"Yeah?" He whispered. I nodded. "They're pretty" I stated. He smiled. I sighed looking at him. He parted his mouth looking at me, just heavy breaths being heard from both of us, from the coldness of the water. "I'm really cold" I whispered feeling my clothes now drenched sticking to my body. He smiled and nodded. "Yeah me too" He chuckled.

We just stared at each other.

I swallowed before I felt him lean into me, I leaned in too before our foreheads were pressed together and we just stared at each other, our lips less than an inch away from touching. A position we had been in before but this time it was different. This time I felt it so much it hurt my chest.

I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat as I hid my view of the pool. He was everywhere.

"Y/n"

He eyes snapped open. God, I'm hearing things now? I turned my head before meeting a pair of blue eyes at the other end of the balcony. I froze as I looked at him. Chris. Standing there. Chills rose on my skin. He walked towards me.

Is this real?

I glanced down to the crumbled paper in his hands. I didn't look at him again as I turned looking back towards the pool, closing my eyes as tears pooled in them. It was real.

"Y/n" His voice broke. I shook my head as I hung my head. I heard the board of my balcony creak as he approached me. "I-" My voice broke. I swallowed gaining feeling in my legs again.

"I don't wanna hear you say it okay?" I whispered as my eyes blinked open, but stayed turned away from him. I couldn't look at him, when I said this because I'm scared the words wouldn't come out.

"Like I said in the letter--" I shook my head. "It's okay that you don't love me back--I just don't--" I swallowed as a single tear fell off my face onto my arms that were against the railing. "I just don't wanna hear you say it" I broke shaking my head.

I felt his presence next to me more than I should. I guess I have ever since I met him, but him actually standing here was almost too much. I turned my head from him, as my lip quivered.

God, I was so weak and I hated it.

I meant what I said in the letter, I didn't care If he didn't love me back. I would understand if he didn't love me back and I would completely and utterly respect that decison. I guess what I wasn't ready for was if he didn't want me back. If he didn't love me back, that was okay, but if he didn't want me back. I didn't know what to do.

I guess I never thought of that as a possibility.

"I love you, y/n"

My eyes opened as I turned to look at him, him staring down at me. He shook his head. "It's why I didn't go to your party, it's why I got so angry, it's why I'm acting like a fucking insane asshole--" He shook his head looking down at me.

"I didn't want to fall in love with you" He whispered. "But I did" His voice spoke. I just blinked at him. "And I hated myself for it" He shook his head. "I didn't tell you because I felt guilty--" He shook his head.

"Guilty because of Rose, Guilty because you had a boyfriend, guilty because of who I fell in love with" He breathed. I looked down at my feet and swallowed. "But.." He whispered.

"Y/n you're smart" He smiled shaking his head. "You're kind" He sighed. I looked up at him. "You're strong, much stronger than I am" He breathed looking down at me. I shook my head.

"No Chris--" I whispered.

"No listen to me, I love you" He said grabbing my hand. I looked down at our hands. "I've never cared less about who you are, who you were with, what people think---Y/n, last night--" He shook his head as tears filled his eyes.

"I--was so angry because I loved you, and I thought that I wasn't going to be able to have the person that I loved again, and that fucking hurt" He shook his head.

"Y/n, I've never felt worse about myself than when I read this letter." He whispered gripping the paper. I swallowed hanging my head. "I've never regretted anything more than what I said to you" He shook his head. I licked my lips.

"I love you, I love all of you, every single part, every single flaw. I know that I'm not much, but I promise you with ever fiber in my body that I will never speak to you with such words ever again for as long as I live. I will never let my anger cloud the love and care I have for you. I'm so fucking sorry" He breathed staring down at me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, as I pulled my hand from his.

"Chris"

"No, please. Y/n, listen to me" Tears pooled his eyes. I shook my head as he spoke. He dropped to his knees making me look down at him. "Please, I'm so sorry" He said grabbing my hand again and bringing it to his lips.

"I'll love you unconditionally. I'll show you what it feels like to be loved, because no one in the fucking world deserves it more than you" He whispered. I bit my lip as I looked down at his teary blue eyes.

"Just give me a chance to" His voice barely heard. "I'm a fucking-----idiot" He cried as he hung his head, pressing his head against our hands. I just watched him.

I let out a breath before dropping to my knees as well, leaning back on my heels as I caught his eyes, pulling our hands into my lap. "Chris, please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry" I whispered as tears pooled my eyes. He just looked at me as tears ran down his face.

"I can't lose you" he shook his head. "I don't care about the past. I don't care that my life isn't fair---that our lives aren't fair---I don't care that you made me wait, I don't care about your ex boyfriend, the only thing I care about his that we make it out. that we get our happy ending" He whispered softly.

I closed my eyes.

"s'il te plaît, ramène-moi, jer suiesse un idiot" He stuttered slowly. I let out a small chuckled. "it's pronounced je suis" I smiled. His lips curved into a smile. "s'il te plaît, sois ma petite amie" He shook his head smiling.

"rien ne me rendrait plus heureux" I smiled as I looked at him. He just blinked at me. "I-I only learned yes and no in french" He said shaking his head. I chuckled and hung my head before nodding and smiling.

"Oui, Oui, Oui" I nodded smiling. His face lit up before he leaned forwards wrapping his arms around me and lifting me off my feet, burying his face against me as he picked me up with ease.

I wrapped my legs around him, hugging him as I cried. "I love you so much" He whispered. I brought his face into my hands and smiled before pressing his lips to mine.

Our lips molded together, a salty taste across our lips from the tears. I pulled back, pushing my thumb across his face to wipe the tears. "Chris" I whispered. He just chuckled and smiled up at me.

"It's really cold out here" I whispered. He smiled before pushing the door open and pulling me back into my room.

this is not the last chapter.

just letting you know that..........

@sleepysturnss @frankdelreyy @ahastrns @lavie627 @bernardstrombonixx @creamoncreamoncream2 @sturniolossmut @sturniololol @chrisstopherfilmed @l9vesick @sturvoblur @7tee3n @stylesnsturnz @nick2thick @chrizzypooks @sturniolosmind @m4tthewsgf @lookingatsab @mattscokewhore @lovergirl4387 @fake-sturniolos @theweeknd-fan @leahdsullivan00 @3iysian @angelworldspost @user25701874 @niastqrniolo @sturnnai @christinarowie332 @sturniofilmd @lexisecretaccx @sturnioloslife @rosiegirl80 @miastromboli @st7rn @sophie21153-blog @poopiannrose @jindoritheworld @pinkpearlsrry @justaslvttygirl @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @bernardenjoyer @livluvschris @mattestrella @erodaangel

#sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo

[astrologylunadream]

Who am I destined to love?💌☁️🔗 [Soulmate reading] (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 We will be doing a reading on your destined lover!💗 hope you find your message🌸💫

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the love you long for, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸🌟

Pile 1🦊

Pile 2🦢

Pile 3🛋

Pile 4🎹

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💌

Pile 1🦊

Sign energy: Forgiveness, Anger, True feelings, Fame, Singer, 3rd house, Cancer, Moon, North node, Gemini, 🪐🧩🌃🛎

☁️Your energy: You guys have a fiery energy about you, very kind and fun loving. You are very emotional and tend to have outbursts if your emotional state is not safe or well taken care of. You could love singing and I'm getting a more specific message that someone in this pile has a famous parent/mom, a singer mom if there are any of you in my pile 1😆 You get frustrated easily but those feelings come from your true heart, and you express yourself openly and genuinely. I feel like this pile doesn't back down when angry💢 You could be a night owl, prefer the night time. I feel like you're more in touch with your emotions at night, like cinderella I'm hearing "when the clock strikes twelve" and suddenly you are your true self at night, your openly emotional real self.♡ You may feel inclined to become famous or a public speaker, sharing your thoughts and ideas with those who need it the most.

💘Who you're destined to love: Fox, Neck, Taurus, Gemini, Fix, Leo, South node, Air, Aries, Water, 🎡🦀🍭🚀 A very fun and gorgeous person awaits my pile 1, if you were drawn to the fox here it came out again so this is your confirmation this is definitely the pile!! This could be someone from your past, you will feel a sense of familiarity with this person. They have a more so direct approach to communication and think fast. Very witty, intelligent and a natural problem solver. Taurus, Gemini, Leo, or Aries placements, they may have Sun conjunct Venus or Mercury I feel. They have a very attractive neck, especially with the Taurus energy. As for the purpose of this destiny, I'm seeing as someone you are destined to fix, almost help in a way, your love is meant to heal this person on an emotional level. They will be so glad they met you, like you were fated to help them. It's giving heaven sent angel vibes <3 They will see you as an answer to their prayers, and things will only look up from there.😊 This destiny is an emotional journey for you both, connecting through mutual understanding and comforting one another is the true reason for this connection. It will heal and nurture your hearts greatly.♡ It will be a fun, pleasant and in some ways childlike relationship made of pure love and trust.

💌Messages from them: I'll never forget you, I finally get it, Our love is a game, I know exactly how you like it, I see you, Extra cards: Daily, Follower, Angel, Green, Crazy, 8th house, Earth, Chiron, Water, Sun, (Guardian angel vibes🥺💫)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the fox emoji~🦊 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🦢

Sign energy: Cafe, Long term, Endurance, Stomach, Hair, North node, Aquarius, Gemini, ⛵😂🌉🤍

☁️Your energy: You guys have such a graceful vibe, I see so much pure cleansed energy with this pile. Elegant swan energy for you guys <3 Most of you in this pile are looking for long term commitment, so you may be hoping that the one you are destined to love is someone you will be with for a long time. Some of you work as a barista/job at a cafe☕💕 Your hair is gorgeous and people talk about it a lot.💇‍♀️ Aquarius and Gemini placements overall air signs but I'm getting such indirect Virgo energy from this pile omgggg any Virgo's in my lovely pile 2??😂 Btw this emoji!!😂😂😂 Do you use it alot?? Could be significant for any of this pile, you may laugh a lot and your laugh is very light and beautiful. I'm seeing a future of laughing and happiness with this pile I feel like that is also your destiny to just, laugh and have fun. Just loosen up a bit and enjoy the little things that make you happy, being grateful is meant for you my pile 2's <3 You have such an angelic presence about you, so admirable and full of kindness and beauty. You may want to meet your future but don't like the steps to get there, but I'm hearing only of you endure the journey of your hopes can you arrive at the destination of fulfilling them. Haha maybe that resonates with some of you, I feel like you may drink coffee or tea often. Cafes are your jam!

💘Who you're destined to love: Comfort, Love, Shame, Present, Blind, 12th house, Lilith, Eros, Neptune, Air, 🤣🤒😤🧲 Okaaay my pile 2's we have some interesting energy going on with this 👏person👏 You are definitely destined with this person romantically, I'm hearing fated connection. This is someone who is seemingly new or not experienced with love, they make mistakes and don't know what they're doing most of the time.🥺 They also have so many fantasies about it some that they are shameful of or embarrassed to meet, they have a some darker needs too in a romantic connection. Many of their turn on's in a partner are subconscious fears aswell. I get the vibe this person isn't the best at communiting their desires, it makes them feel vulnerable and out of place like a fish out of water. Pisces/12th house and air placements are possible. They are a dreamer, they have this "where am I? Who am I?" type of vibe😂😂 like they are just one with the energies, I feel like this person is very in tune with the spiritual side of life themselves. Your person is very attractive in a soft aesthetic way, ethereal and beyond physical charms that rope you in like a buoy in the crashing waves of the sea🌊 You are destined to love this person with all your heart, to cherish eachother on levels deeper many can experience. A soulmate connection is likely, and this is such a deep and contemporary romance as well as passionate. You will fulfill many desires with this person, because they take you to higher places you can't explain. I was also getting some "spicy"👀 messages coming out in this pile but since this is not an 🔞 reading I was like 👁👄👁 "not today-" LOL it will not complement the soft/dreamy vibe of this reading lol😂👌 So for my pile 2's that are interested, your person has some intense desire for you for sure maybe check out my dark pac readings for some messages in that😅😳 :'> Overall this is a very intuitive and romantic person, they are all giving and all consuming in this destined love with you.💗

💌Messages from them: I don't look at other people, I'm addicted to your love, You might get hurt, I have nothing to give, I'm not okay (🥺🥺💔) Extra cards: Alien, In, Fantasy, Shopping, Age, 12th house, 9th house, Sagittarius, Jupiter, 6th house (Destiny calls to heal this person and their fantasies, to either restrict or enhance their deepest desires.)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the swan emoji~🦢 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 3🛋

Sign energy: Try, Activity, Library, Unicorn, Keep a secret, Chiron, Gemini, Vertex, Sun, 3rd house, 😫👿🕯⛓

☁️Your energy: Alright my pile 3's could be Gemini, Leo, Virgo or prominent 3rd house energy. I'm getting some heavy vibes with this some, something is telling me that many in this pile are new to tarot or giving it a try for the first time or for some could have quit for a while and come back for some answers. If you felt this way this definitely could be your pile. I am sensing some worried energy, my pile 3's are not telling anyone what they have been up to recently🤫🙊 You have been keeping this to yourself, and maybe even the idea of loving someone is something you are not ready to share just yet. You guys are very unique and smart, you have a talent for knowing things and speaking well. Sometimes you have a dark side that you don't want to show, and it is your deepest worries and thoughts that hold you down. You may read a lot, there could be many book lovers in this pile. I feel as if you are afraid of fate hence why you are trying to see the future you are uncertain of.😟 My pile 3's are very cautious people especially when it comes to life and fate. You are heavily drawn to the occult, but also fear those practices. You see fate and destiny as chains that weigh you down, and you wish to break free to finally reach the clouds above. You are an independent and spiritually wise thinker.

💘Who you're destined to love: Fight, First, Honey, Spring, Skin, 4th house, Cancer, Water, Moon, Capricorn, 🛎🤞☔🍑 Okay my lovely pile 3's I keep getting an anxious energy, this could be about love itself. I hope this may ease my pile 3's uncertainties of the future.😞💖 This person you are destined to love has a strong personality, one that somehow compliments yours. Okay but like when you guys first meet??😍 I'm getting some passionate and bold conflict turned into something really sweet💞 I feel like you argued with this person a lot when you first met, but then after you set aside your disagreements you realized how caring and loving they can be.😢 You may have gotten very defensive about yourself or things they told you, but you soon learned to listen to their words as they hold truth and only wish to help you. They may be born in spring. Cancer and Capricorn energy is strong for this pile's person, you are destined to meet them. This connection will show you to be less skeptical and afraid of conflict and disagreement, and to learn how to understand those who seem cold or not "good" on the surface. I'm feeling this person wasn't nice to you at first, only after you loosened up from the emotional shell you tried to protect yourself with. They finally started being nice to you without reason, or perhaps you didn't realize their kindness until then. This connection is meant to shift perspectives, and hold security in trusting others. This is such a powerful lesson within this fated love omggg😭💗 Some of you might marry this person!!💍

💌Messages from them: Are you attracted to me? Don't talk to me, You can't control me, I'll only distract you, I'll never forgive you (My pile 3 your person really cares about you and they tend to push you away and it seems like they're brushing you off but that's how they show their love for you by removing themselves from the situation to let you heal and take your time😭🤍) Extra cards: One of a kind, Feminine, Hold on, Style, Juno, Moon, Eros, 9th house, Scorpio, Taurus (Omgg they see you as a devine feminine to them, their other half. They want to marry you for real!!🥺)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sofa emoji~🛋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 4🎹

Sign energy: Find, Desert, Quiet, Winter, Hands are tied, Eros, 7th house, Sagittarius, Pisces, Earth, 🖌🕯💘🥊

☁️Your energy: Ohh I'm loving the energy of pile 4 we have some prominent Jupiter placements here!! Could be a Libra, Sagittarius or Pisces somewhere in your charts <3 earth signs are possible. I'm definitely getting Sag/Pisces vibes from you guys😇 Creative dreamers searching for self expression and love~ some of you may be more on the quiet/shy side or more submissive in relationships. But outside of them you are a free spirit with a wild heart, you just love having fun and doing the things that make you happy. You want to find a soulmate, someone who is spiritually tied to you... who's heart is locked to yours eternally. You are looking for a person who will appreciate your creativity and spirituality, your soft and illusive dreamy self with a passion to explore life and everything you love. You may be an artist/painter or enjoy those activities, or physical sports like weight lifting or going to the gym. Could be interested in boxing. You are a fighter and a lover because you fight for love. May be born in winter, also I'm getting specific middle east vibes so some of you could be from there.💫💕

💘Who you're destined to love: Soulmates, Forgiveness, Backwards, 11th house, Date, Mars, Cancer, Venus, 1st house, Lilith, 🤕🍳🍂🏷 This is someone from your past, now I'm getting some past lover vibes. For some of you this is an ex, or someone you had an argument with. I'm sensing someone you will meet online, or have possibly already met before. I am seeing that in the beginning of this connection, you or them were too impulsive or quick to complain about the way things started off between you two. After some time I'm seeing the work of fate brings you back to this person, and you will be surprised how much they held on to this connection.😦 Like you will be shocked how much this person really cared (maybe you thought they would be angry/distant with you) but like this person will be on their knees for you omg.😖😳 This person is very emotional and honestly so deeply in love with this pile and they just want a second chance😞💕 They regret their past decisions and the way they treated you, and fate is calling you to accept and love them, this is after all who you are destined to love. There may have been a misunderstanding in the beginning or a first impression that affected your judgement of them, but there will be clarity with this person finally and my pile 4 you will see the truth about them. They are genuinely attached to my pile 4's and have just so much love and respect for you.🥺 You are destined to love and cherish them aswell, as it is very likely you will find this to be your soulmate.💗

💌Messages from them: To me, I feel so confused, It's all fake, Why would you want me? Our eyes have met (They are so scared of loosing you because they feel in their heart you guys are meant to be soulmates😫💞) Extra cards: Despair, Cuddle, Backwards, Previous, Love at first sight, 9th house, Libra, Water, 6th house, Neptune (They would be sad without you pile 4 they feel as if the work of fate brought you together😭😖💖)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the piano emoji~🎹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

#pick a pile #love tarot reading #daily tarot #astrology reading #free tarot #pac reading #love reading #pick a photo #tarot pick a card #tarot #tarot pac #future lover #tarot readings #astrology readings #tarot reading #love pac #pac tarot #tarot love #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a picture #soulmate reading #relationship reading

[chrrylpstcks]

( havana rose liu, 26, agender, she/her ) ☼ i know it’s a small town, but i run into MAUDE GRANGER-LIAO every time i go to THE SECRET WOODS. it’s like they practically live there and not PELICAN TOWN for 26 YEARS. it must be because they’re PRIVATE and JUDGMENTAL. come to think of it, that’s probably why they’re an GENERAL STORE EMPLOYEE too. but i did hear they want to STUDY BOTANY AND OPEN A PLANT SHOP, and sometimes they like to GARDEN. rumor has it, they also like SUMMER SPANGLE, but dislike GREEN ALGAE. what do you think?

history

lifelong pelican townie and kind of meh about it. lives in the same town she grew up in with her parents and works her job at the general store

childhood was FINE but she always felt like she didn't really fit in as well as her sibling, who was much more easygoing and friendly, so she would keep things bottled up a lot.

re: the valley, don't get her wrong, she does loves it deep down, but some nights she lies awake wondering what other kind of life could be out there if she could get out this tiny town, maybe go to college and get a different kind of job

has always been into science lessons and nature, maybe because of where she grew up, and she's really into plants

she really wants to learn more about plants and become a botanist. actually, her dream is to have a plant / flower shop, where she does research in her private greenhouse

but her world has always been so small and she's been afraid of what could happen if she ventures out of it

in the new year, she finally got the courage to apply for a degree program in zuzu city but...

she got rejected recently and now she's really jaded and dejected and depresso about life and feels trapped.

personality

has always been pretty quiet, but not in her own world. she's painfully present, observing everything and everyone around her with a very intense stare

not quite easy breezy, but not too uptight either. always kind of an unnoticed wallflower and content with that.

pretty dry, sometimes blunt and direct when she does talk to people. occasionally witty and clever

right now she's really upset about her college rejection though so she's mad af and temperamental and mean

doesn't know how to regulate her emotions very well

random headcanons

hobby wise she really just likes to walk around and look at the plants. sometimes she takes pictures of them, or takes some home and preserves them. she has some on her walls

does not have a cell phone you have to just find her

sometimes will go to the city for a whole day to just read books on plants in the library. if she is feel really nuts she will buy some at a bookstore to take home.

secretly tends to a handful of bushes and plants and flowers in cindersap forest, especially the secret woods. she has a hidden garden bed in the secret woods.

wanted connections

sibling

someone who just moved here who thinks she's always mean af

childhood bestie who grew up in the valley w her

childhood enemy who grew up in the valley w her

idkkkkk what else off the top of my head, let's brainstorm!

#dew.intro

[convenientalias]

Why You Should Watch White Christmas (the 2011 Kdrama): A Manifesto

Yesterday I was watching White Christmas (specifically episodes 4 and 5) for the fourth time. I watched it for the first time like five years ago and all my feelings are still there and still potent so today I am here to tell you that you should watch it too.

THE BASICS:

Seven kids at an elite private high school over winter break. They stayed there because they all received mysterious black letters, accusing them of vague, nonspecific crimes and claiming that on New Year's Day someone will die. When they find out that ALL of them received this letter, they decide one of them must have been the one to send it--and they set out to discover who it was. In the meantime, a giant blizzard shuts down all the roads, and telephone and internet connections go down as well, leaving the school isolated and all on campus trapped there together.

things develop from there.

THE CHARACTERS:

Park Moo-yul: A Good Boy. His grades are constantly second highest in the school; he's obsessed with studying and wants to someday come in first. Sort of a leader type, he tries to organize the investigative efforts (and later, keep things from falling apart--except, much as he'd like to believe it, he's not immune to the Lord of the Flies effect lols). For the first couple episodes, he's sort of the main/POV character, but by the end it's more of an ensemble cast show. In the episodes I just watched, there are multiple scenes with him staring down a gun and waiting to get shot. Some ppl think he's boring but I love a guy with a hero complex.

Choi Chi-hoon: The Genius. The first place to Park Moo-yul's second. People call him unemotional and heartless; it turns out later he does have difficulty feeling emotions due to a neurological issue. Loves science, interested in the black letters as a puzzle but for a while pretends not to be. The least likely to go Lord of the Flies but his Very Logical plans are often actually very risky.

Yoon Eun-sung: The Only Girl. (except for that one other woman who shows up later but she's not one of the seven so we're not counting her.) Used to be the most popular girl in school and also Park Moo-yul's girlfriend but then she Changed (aka she developed depression). Sarcastic and possibly suicidal. Everyone is OBSESSED with her (well, four, arguably five characters are obsessed with her, but this show only has a total of 11 characters so that's really too many).

Also, she's played by Esom, so if you like Esom, you should watch White Christmas.

Lee Jae-kyu: Why are you here???? For the first few episodes, that's a genuine question; he doesn't have an apparent connection to the others in the group, and it's a mystery why the black letter sender would have any grudges against him. It turns out later he has some secret issues. He's a bit of a snake in the grass. I won't go into it.

Yang Kang-mo: He wants to be a reporter someday! His nickname is Cameraman Yang, and he's always carrying a camera around. He's deaf, and partly as a result, gets bullied a lot. He is the favorite character of the friend I was watching this show with yesterday. Also there's a whole episode of him getting chased around with baseball bats, look forward to it.

Jo Young-jae: A bully, a coward and a messed up kid. A line he says in the show is, "Yes, I'm used to people hating me. To the extent that I'm scared when people don't hate me. But you made me hate myself!" A line someone else says to him is, "You're not a bad person. You're weak. If everyone knew how weak you were, they wouldn't hate you." To watch Jo Young-jae have multiple mental breakdowns, watch White Christmas, I promise it is very fun.

Also, he's played by Kim Young-kwang, so if you like Kim Young-kwang, you should watch White Christmas.

Yoon Su: His nickname is Angel. In general, it requires incredible academic acumen to go to Susin High; Yoon Su got in bc his parents donated money to the school. He's a loner and does not want to be here; his ambition in life is to be a musician, and he loves playing the guitar. He has some mental health issues and takes (unspecified) recreational drugs. He also has a giant grudge. Against who? Stay tuned to find out.

Also he's played by Lee Soo-hyuk, so if you like Lee Soo-hyuk, you should watch White Christmas.

Kang Mi-reu: THIS BOY IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. Remember how I said seven kids got letters, seven kids stayed at the school? Meet kid number eight. Kang Mi-reu didn't get a letter and he didn't get permission to stay on campus either; technically he's on probation and on his way to being expelled. He sneakily stayed on campus to investigate who framed him for exploding a statue, the reason for his expulsion. He can go through air vents and has a great theme song. He wants to solve his problems with violence. Actually he once beat Choi Chi-hoon at academics but got pissed off at always losing to him and gave up on being a perfect student. We all love Kang Mi-reu.

Also he's played by Kim Woo-bin so if you like Kim Woo-bin, you should watch White Christmas.

Yoon Jong-il: The teacher who stayed on campus to supervise. Wow, I'm sure with a responsible adult around, there will be no chaos or violence breaking out on campus.

Kim Yo-han: He's not even affiliated with the school. He got in a car accident near it and then got stuck here due to the storm. He keeps getting concussions/broken bones/deadly fevers. Also, he's a psychiatrist, and finds all the weird shit going on at the school rather intriguing.

IS IT SHIPPY?

I mean, is there any actual romance? No.

Do we see slow burn friendships develop from suspicion to deep trust and affection over the course of the show? Also no.

Do I think some of these people should make out? Yeah.

A few ships I have specifically:

-Choi Chi-hoon/Park Moo-yul: Obvious rival ship, overemotional dude/kind of cold dude, leader type/genius type. There is also some hurt/comfort towards the end that I really can't describe without spoilers but the mix of resentment and trust is immense.

-Kang Mi-reu/Park Moo-yul: This is my just for fun ship. Good boy/bad boy vibes. Also Kang Mi-reu seems to actually listen to Park Moo-yul when for the most part he won't listen to anyone. Also he snuck into Park Moo-yul's bedroom once while he was sleeping and teased him about the fact that he and all the others got black letters and won't the sender be so offended he dares to sleep instead of sitting up paranoid all night. I just think they're cute.

-Yang Kang-mo/Jo Young-jae: Yes this is a bully/victim ship which is not usually my thing, but I love both of them and also Young-jae is so pathetic and Kang-mo honestly scares him at multiple points. Meanwhile Kang-mo is kind of tired and fed up with him but at this point has sort of a weird connection with him regardless. They know each other.

-Yoon Eun-sung/Jo Young-jae: Young-jae is my favorite of the dudes who's obsessed with Eun-sung, and the most toxic of them as well. She used to be perfect and he had a resentful crush on her for that; now she's kind of messed up but still aloof and superior, and he still wants and hates her at the same time. And she knows, and teases him about it, and he acts nonchalant but you can tell it grinds at him. The best m/f dynamic of the show.

I have a bunch of other ships.... explaining them involves spoilers so I'll just list a few: Kang Mi-reu/Yoon Su, Yang Kang-mo/Yoon Eun-sung/Park Moo-yul, Lee Jae-kyu/Choi Chi-hoon, Lee Jae-kyu/Jo Young-jae.

BUT, PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY... THE VIBES!!!

I love the characters of White Christmas but I mostly rewatch it so much bc 1) the pacing is on point and 2) it's so cinematically satisfying.

In terms of plot and pacing--Everything moves fast. Each episode is very distinct from the others, the plot consistently moving forward at a breakneck pace. Each episode I would say gets a little faster and wilder (with the exception of episode 3, perhaps, which moves a little slow--but then episode 4 goes completely unhinged, so it's a fair exchange). There is shit going on and they are going to cram a whole show's worth of content into 8 episodes and you are going to eat it.

In terms of production: Visually stark. Lots of glass and snow and shadows everywhere. Fun shots. A great soundtrack. For one thing, Wake Up by Arcade Fire recurs a lot and the vibes are immense and very teenage angst and "what the fuck am I supposed to do".

Anyways here's some shots I think convey the vibe:

ANYWAY.

Watch White Christmas! And if you do, or if you've already watched it, please talk to me about it! I am currently in the White Christmas feelings, as I often am this time of year.

#white christmas #white christmas kdrama #white christmas 2011 #kdramas

[thevoidspeakz]

List of things Mike Wheeler has gone through canonically. Focused on Mike, though he went through some of these with others.

Might be updated with things I missed, and feel free to add anything!

Also please keep in mind that this is all just canon information we're 100% sure we have, so I'm not gonna get into his sexuality or anything, mainly because there's many different approaches to it and everyone has a different idea of it in their heads, so I'm sticking to canon for this

PS. I'm actually really fucking shit at articulating my thoughts into words. Like I am dog water at it so please bare with me.

Season 1 (12 years old);

Will went missing. His best friend who he's known since kindergarten suddenly goes missing while biking home from his house. Suddenly, one morning, Will's just.. gone.

Searching for Will himself. Going out into the dark woods at night in the pouring rain, against cop's and parent's orders to go look for Will himself because he just couldn't take losing him.

Will's body being pulled out of the quarry. At that point, Mike really lost all hope. There was no question now, his best friend was dead. Gone. Forever. No more Will the Wise, no more sleepovers, no more of his amazing drawings to put up on the walls. He was gone.

Meeting El. Hiding another kid from his parents in his own house while also providing food and shelter is a lot of responsibility, and I feel like people don't talk about it that much. Not to mention Mike, Dustin and Lucas had to teach El just about everything. What a friend is, what a promise is, she was totally clueless, and they had to take care of her. They were all the same age at the time. (I'm not saying that them having helped El was a bad thing, god no, but you have to admit it was a lot to take on for a group of kids.)

Losing El. They had just barely met El, and she was already being taken away by the same thing that took Will. They had to watch her be disintegrated right after they ran from Brenner and the Lab People, also watching them be killed by El (she wasn't wrong for killing them but it is a pretty brutal thing to deal with as a kid), and then from a fucking monster from another dimension. I don't think I have to explain this.

Jumping off the quarry. I can't handle this shit. Mike didn't almost jump, he jumped. That 12 year old kid actually jumped off of a fucking cliff. I really, really wonder what exactly he was thinking. There was obviously the part about saving Dustin, but I imagine Will being "dead" also had something to do with it. It was the same quarry his body was found in, after all. But just think about this for one second; Mike jumped off a cliff when he was 12. He was going to die there if El hadn't saved him. Why do people not talk about this. HE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE FUCK.

Being bullied. Mike's been bullied his entire life. Pushed around and kicked around by Troy and the others, we see him mainly being called "frog face" and being a victim of homophobia, but who knows what else he's gone through.

Season 2 (13 years old);

Being forced to throw away his toys. He was forced to grow up by throwing out toys that not only had emotional connections and brought back memories, but also that Mike just didn't want to give up. He still liked playing with toys, and he was fully in the right to, there was nothing wrong with that. While we're talking about this scene, there's also the fact he had been acting up a lot after season 1. Plagiarizing essays, graffitiing the bathroom stalls, stealing money from Nancy, you name it.

Almost getting ran over by Billy. (thank you @lucybell52 for pointing this out!) No cuz what the fuck. What do I even say about this? Pretty minor in comparison to everything else he's gone through but jesus fucking christ that's still a thing.

Getting Will back only for him to be possessed. Mike was with Will the entire time he was possessed. He never left his side. Mike saw Will hurting, and had to hear him screaming, and crying and had to watch him suffer over and over and over. Just think about tiny Mike covering his ears, terrified, watching as Will screams for his life. Back in the shed, trying desperately to find his best friend, to get him back, talking to him and reminding him of when they met. The best thing he's ever done. That's what asking Will to be his friend was. And there was a risk of losing him again.

Watching Bob die. (thank you @/synthgay) Mike had to watch as a man got brutally mauled to death by demodogs, all while holding a passed out, limp Will in his arms. I can't even begin to imagine how much that would fuck up a kid's brain.

Billy when he came looking for Max.(thank you @runninguplenorahills for mentioning this <3) He nearly beat up Lucas, he did beat the fuck out of Steve (which the kids tried to help by putting little colorful band-aids on his wounds can you hear me sobbing?)

Season 3 (14 years old);

The Mind Flayer. Do I need to explain this? Having to see that fucking thing, let alone almost be killed by it????? It's a horror movie type creature made of melted people. MELTED PEOPLE. I have trouble looking at it even knowing it's fake. IMAGINE KNOWING IT'S REAL.

The Sauna Test. Flayed Billy screaming his guts out, breaking the window, almost choking El to death, almost getting beat up too when trying to save her.

Getting beat up by flayed Billy. Grown, very menacing and intimidating man who is way stronger than him, and who he's seen beat the fuck out of someone way stronger than he is also beat the fuck out of him.

The Byers moving away. At first this might not seem all that big of a deal, but he's losing El, and Will again, and that does take a toll on him (paired up with everything that happened in Starcourt), which we see in Lucas on the Line (following up with that).

Clear signs of depression in Lucas on the Line. Self isolating, spending all of his time in his room or basement playing nintendo, like, he literally does not leave his room, he's irritable and annoyed all the time... yeah.

Season 4 (14/15 years old);

The shootout at the Byers house. They were being shot at. He could've died. Will and Jonathan could've died. Unknown Hero Agent Man did die.

Trying to save UHAM/burying him. Yeah i don't need to explain this. Everyone trying desperately to save this bleeding, dying man, ultimately failing and having to bury his body. They were so damn casual about it too, Mike, Will and Jonathan. This is just the bullshit they've been forced to live with for the past 4 years at this point, and that is fucking terrifying.

El getting taken. Back with the losing someone you love and not knowing if they're dead or not. (even with Mike not loving El romantically, he still loves her and cares about her, remember that) Especially since they didn't leave off in very friendly terms.

Getting El back. (thanks again @/runninguplenorahills <33)Full of dead people everywhere, El crashing down a helicopter, everything destroyed. Good Lord.

Conclusion;

So, Mike has seen several people die and be murdered, has seen countless of monsters that come from different dimensions, has lost people time and time again, has gone through several near death experiences and more.

I'm pretty sure I missed stuff so please feel free to add on to this if you want, and i can add it to the post itself!

I mainly went through situations he's been in and not his feelings in this. I could make a post going into his internalized homophobia and all, but I feel like many people have already gotten a good look at that.

(@hey-its-bucky helo :])

#my boy has gone through so fucking much #give him a break #and let him break down!!! #please!!!! #let him feel the full effect of all this bullshit he went through #and if we bylers are right #there's just so much more. #byler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler analysis #(?)

[toh-tagteam-au]

so uh. how we feelin right about now

Bro, I don't even know anymore. I'm STILL processing everything that happened in that episode.

I'm probably going to ramble about it beneath the cut. Spoiler warning!

1)The palisman egg. It's such a PERFECT thing for Luz to carve but PLEASE I JUST WANT TO SEE WHAT IT IS OH MY GOD. Literally praying that it's a bat. Still have to wait a week (or possibly until season 3 ;-;) to find out. Frothing at the mouth.

2) The Day of Unity. I will BET MONEY that Belos succeeds with the Day of Unity and season 3 is the gang dealing with the aftermath. That seems to be the pattern for stories like this (the end-of-arc-2 failure, etc)

3) The collector. He literally made a deal with Belos with a pinky swear. This kid is obviously being taken advantage of/lied to but is ALSO evil. I love how his interactions with Belos vs his rambles to himself keep us guessing. I have a lot of thoughts about his connection with King, and how Belos definitely lit the Moon Mirror on fire the same way King was made to. They're probably the only ones that can see and hear the shadow, and the only reason why Luz and Hunter were able to see him in Belos's memory was BECAUSE it was a memory. Lowkey hoping that he has an actual name reveal too. Calling him The Collector feels vaguely de-humanizing.

4) You know when they explain the plan in a show that it's going to go wrong. No one is safe and I am so scared. Also those "Steve/Eber is the Traitor" theories out there. If either of them are, I will literally riot. If ANY of the CATTs are a traitor I will riot. This show is giving me STRESS.

5) GUS WILLOW AND HUNTER. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM IN THIS EP. HUNTER'S FRIENDSHIP W GUS. NEW OUTFITS. HUNTER AND LUZ TALKING ABOUT HOLLOW MIND. That ENTIRE section of them kicking ass when getting to Amity. These kids man.

6) LUMITY KISS WITH HIGH ANIMATION QUALITY. NEED I SAY MORE.

7) Epic divorce, Blight parents. We love to see it. Does anyone else think there's symbolism in the oracle magic being used against the abomination magic? Hope Ed and Em are okay.

8) I have. SO many emotions over The Switch. I went into this episode BLIND and I knew Luz's plan that she whispered to Gus was still in play, but I had no clue what it was. I couldn't trust anything on the screen knowing that Gus was doing something. Was Alador an illusion? No, because he had King with him, and Gus wouldn't have known that. Kikimora was actually hitting stuff, so those weren't illusions either. When "Luz" teleported and saved Willow I just thought "Oh, maybe Luz's palisman helped her out there?" When "Hunter" blew a raspberry at Kiki I was like "I... guess he can put aside his trauma and literally do nothing to save himself for the sole purpose of antagonizing Kiki?" I literally had NO IDEA they switched until the illusion was broken. I lost my goddamn mind.

9) Even with all these emotional whiplash moments the only time I outright gasped was seeing Willow go sicko mode. Cape flapping in the wind and everything. Yes girl give us murder. Coven officials are LUCKY they have Luz to hide behind or else these witches would have killed them.

10) I am. SO EXCITED for more Belos and Luz interactions. It's going to be terrifying. It's going to be GREAT. Two humans in the demon realm what will they do.

#toh spoilers #not comic #ask

[ga-yuu]

Kurama and Ibuki Sequel Preview

A Karasu Tengu that doesn't understand humans and an Oni who laughs and plays with humans.

A former adopted child and an adoptive parent----but their relationship is broken.

Ibuki: "You're the one who gave the oracle, Yoshino."

Ibuki: "It seems that I will need your help in the upcoming battle...."

Ibuki: "Will the Shrine Maiden of the Underworld give any kind of reward to the man chosen as a hero?"

Kurama: "Are you still prepared to throw yourself into the fray again?"

Kurama: "If you want to run away with your tail between your legs, do it now."

Kurama: "If I see you trembling like a fool on the battlefield, I'll kill you first before I kill the corpses."

The dangerous demons play with me and I was swallowed up in the vortex of battle.

The three of us, were not on the same page.

.........

Yoshino: "Ibuki...I trusted you."

Ibuki: "I know. And I told you that your trust in me feels surprisingly good."

Ibuki: "So much so that...."

Ibuki: "I want to tear it into shreds and trample on them."

A haunting instinct that is too strong for me, a human being to resist, and...

.............

Kurama: "...You're useful in your own way, but you're more interesting than a lot of people lying around."

Kurama: "So I allowed you to call me by my name and I remembered yours. That should be enough."

Kurama: "Why would you be happy or sad over the lives of helpless human soldiers who are of no use to you?"

Yoshino: "....After all, there is a difference between demons and humans."

Kurama: "You're right."

A barrier of race looms between us.

............

Then....

Ibuki: "Life is just a long, long time to pass before you die anyways."

Ibuki: "If I end up being bad here, that's fine with me."

Ibuki: "We'll just dance and play till the end, right? Kurama."

Kurama: "Is playing important? More important than your own life and soul-----"

Kurama: "You never take it seriously....the way you are right now is so irritating that I want to kill you."

Their relationship began to change when Ibuki was cursed for defending me.

Yoshino: "Are you worried about Ibuki?"

Kurama: "Not really. But if Ibuki is willing to give up then...."

Kurama: "I will drag the caster out and forcibly sew this man's soul to this world."

Ibuki: "Kurama."

Kurama: "And then, I will lead you by the hand."

Ibuki: "So that's it after all."

Ibuki: "Well, as you can see, I'm a dependable demon. I'm not that weak for my adopted chick to worry about me."

------Going through the fluctuating emotions.

The end of my heart trembles with emotions for the first time-----

Kurama: "Yoshino. You must only worry about me."

Kurama: "Your eyes...only needs to look at me."

Yoshino: "Ngh....."

Ibuki: "Good for you, Yoshino."

Yoshino: "W-Why?"

Ibuki: "You've managed to tame a powerful demon, is what I would have said, but..."

Ibuki: "You managed yourself in being a favorite toy...."

Ibuki: "For Kurama and even...for me."

............

We face our trials with our own thoughts and feelings.

Kurama: "You are strong. I will not allow you to doubt my word."

Kurama: "Don't ever again undermine the spark of life that I have recognized in you."

By embracing different strengths----our hearts connect.

Yoshino: "W-Why did you kiss me...."

Kurama: "Because you cry."

Yoshino: "That's not an answer!"

Kurama: "I don't know what answers you're looking for."

Kurama: "If there's an answer. It's probably because your tears make me so happy."

Kurama: "I want to see more. Your crying face, your not crying face....everything."

..............

Ibuki: "I thought you said you don't want to be held by someone you didn't like. Don't tell me your heart is already broken?"

Yoshino: "No.."

Yoshino: "Because I love Ibuki...I'm not afraid even if you hold me to push me away." (are we doing this again?)

Ibuki: "Ngh...."

Yoshino: "Ibuki....Mm.."

He can live alone. But surely cannot laugh alone.

Faced with despair, the heat we shared changes him....

Ibuki: "I'll admit it. This game is mine to lose."

Ibuki: "You don't have to be alone."

...........

At the end of our wounded love story, we learn...

That love is stronger than death.

Kurama: "I think this new day I'm living with you is beautiful."

Kurama: "Don't forget. You taught me that heart."

.............

Ibuki: "Are you happy just to watch me? Come here."

Ibuki: "I will love you extravagantly with everything I have."

One where two sweetly prodigal destinies run together.

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #cybird #ikemen mc #ikegen #ikemen genjiden kurama #ikemen genjiden ibuki

[childrenofthelightcomic]

Hello! I have been reading all your comics, starting with Little Lapses since its beginning!

But about this comic, oh my gosh it is so relatable about Tashi! I really love stories that focus in the mental health aspect and yours have mostly neurodivergent cast of characters, which I applaud! It is not very often I see around!

By reading this comic I try to see all sides. Yes I am more connected to Tashi as all their quirks and traits seem to match the autism spectrum disorder if I am not mistaken. Taking sarcasm and metaphors literally, sensory overstimulation, hyperfixation, anxiety episodes and between others! Very good research you did!

About Iya, even though they are very abusive towards Tashi in a point to resort to physical hitting, I can't help to see them as a very struggling and insecure parental figure that just don't know better. They seem to handle a lot of pressure from their duties and rather a people-pleasing attitude towards the Spirit Tree out of fear. However their attitude is still not okay and it is very damaging. Tashi has their shorcomings but most of them can't be helped. Not that way for sure!

Ru's condition is a bit more enigmatic for me so I will keep observing their behaviour and how it unfolds with the other two light spirits. But since both of them have severe emotional strain, this little one seems like is going to be caught out of the very toxic environment now they have to live in. I feel it may not go pretty!

Keep going with your excellent work, can't wait to see how the story folds!

Wow, thank you so much for the essay! I fucking love getting these!!!

You're right, Tashi is a character who is on the Autism spectrum! They're intentionally written this way, and I did a lot of research beforehand to tackle their character with. I'm so glad you noticed! :D A lot of readers thankfully caught on to Tashi having ASD and Ru having schizophrenia. It's really nice when my writing is received as intended!

Thanks so much for reading, and for your enthusiasm. ^w^ Tumblr is the quietest mirror I post on, so it's nice to get a message like this!

#cotl ask

[brbabcseu]

journal #1: secrets & stars

Something I wasn't sure I was ready to happen yet just happened and it was... great?? OK, let me get into it.

I told my dad once that I store my memories in a Russian doll. They just make the most sense that way—one wrapped in another wrapped in another. Maybe it’s the ADHD, maybe it’s the creative house we’ve cultivated, but I can’t help but feel the connection everything has to, well, everything. I told him I think of constellations and pinpoint the starts as the glue of my wandering thoughts.

Storytime! Back when I was 10 we were at the crafts store and I saw these.

And obviously I needed them. I have this friend, Sam (she's more like my sis tho honestly, don't tell her I said that it'll go to her head!!) and she had ones like these in purple. I asked my dad if I could buy them to make my room cool and he was like "Whaaat isn't your room already cool enough? With your posters, your sick guitar? Beanbag chairs?" And it's like c'mon dad, those aren't decorations those are just things. I said as much but he already knew he was getting them for me lol, and all for "the low price of free-99". Lame-o.

So we strung the lights up in my room-- dad had to break out the step ladder to crisscross them on the ceiling for maximum effect, but it was very worth it. When he turned off the light, everything was in this golden glow, and I just remember feeling a little awestruck. "It's like we brought the stars outside, inside!" We both laid on the ground to stargaze for a bit, which is a tooth rotting memory.

I took them down the next day, though. Or started to before dad caught me and was like ??? dude what. So here's the thing, I don't always know what's right in a social situation, I don't always know "what's cool", and so I stupidly bragged about my new stars to the guys at school. What was I thinking? One of em, Ethan (asshole) said having string lights as a guy was... hm. Idk if I'm allowed to say this here but it rhymes with 'baggy'. Yeah. My dad was completely shocked when I told him. Maybe I'm crazy, but he also looked almost... guilty? No clue why that was, or why I noted that, but he just seemed really deep in thought in a way I didn't expect him to be. But that's my dad-- he's an unexpected guy.

For a straight dude, I'd say he gave me a pretty good talk abt it. "Sometimes boys like other boys. And that’s chill. Shouldn't be a big deal. But some people can be mean. Really, really mean." He said one of the mean things they do is call people that word when they think they’re gay. Little 10 year old me was confused. Wtf's that got to do with lights? That's not how I said it because, again, child lmao but ykwim. He said it doesn't. Jerks just wanna pick on others for being different. And what he said next really really stuck with me. “He shouldn’t make you feel like you’re not the boy you know you are just because you want to put the stars on your ceiling. His loss. Only insecure people treat people that way.”

We deemed Ethan "not Mr. Rogers approved" and he helped me restring those lights again, they've been up on my ceiling ever since :)

Jesus I rambled way too long and I was supposed to talk about what recently happened!! Like I said, constellations, Russian dolls. Everything connects.

So, I wasn't sure I was bi till like a year ago. I've always noticed it but maybe was scared of it being true. It's 2026, things have really changed, but tiny towns can still be tiny towns, and I didn't wanna find out if things would change. Especially with dad. Which like, why? Y'kno?? I shouldn't have had any fears about it at this point but sometimes this changes the game for some parents and I didn't wanna lose him. OUGH I'm getting emotional just thinking about it, pull it together AJ!!

I just so happened to remember everything about the stars when out w the old man at the diner. It's our fave hangout. Honestly the only hangout in this tiny ass town. My 8th grade dance is coming up soon and he thinks this is Disney Channel and that I'm gonna ask someone hahaha. C'mon man, no one asks anyone out, it's gonna be like every middle school dance we've had so far and we're all just gonna stand around each other awkwardly XP w/e. He's asking abt the girls, which girl am I gonna ask, blah blah. I just KNOW he does this to be annoying on purpose. It kind of struck a nerve though since it's about this... stuff. But this was my window. Dude, I was so fucking nervous for no reason HAHAHA. I was like yeah, there's some girls I would ask if ppl actually asked... but maybe there's also some boys too. I asked him if that was okay. I know, dumb. 'Hey, do I have permission to be bi?' Nahh. He didn't say anything bc I kept blabbing. "I don't want to hide anything from you, I know I don't have to, please say something" etc etc. Finally he put his hands over mine and like, stared into my soul and just said, "Okay." And I was like, "Okay." My god it was such a fucking relief. He even got a big laugh outta me, talking about my taste in boys, if it's any better than my taste in girls. Um, rude!

So yeah, he let me know this doesn't change a thing. I could've criiieeed, I swear (hey maybe I did a little, shush). But it's done! It's out there! No more secrets!! My friends all already know too, they were the first to, and were happy to hear about dad's reaction. If others find out now, I'd like to think I won't gaf. Everyone I care abt already knows and supports me. As I'm writing this, I'm looking up at the stars on my ceiling. I feel they have new things to show me. I'm hopeful for that, at least. <3

#aj blabs #march 1st 2026

[ang3lik]

me immediately reblogging and participating is so true. i love that you're a lana girl just like me <333 congrats, angel you deserve the absolute world!

❤️ please ! fandom: scream + here's my funky little description!

full name: allyson. ( it's actually my middle name ), entj, she/her, 19. my favorite colors are pink and navy blue. i'm 5'11, afro-latina, and a scorpio sun, taurus moon, and pisces rising (according to my chart i'm ruled by jupiter and the sun). i am a lana truther but some of my other favorite artists include banks, lorde, bad bunny, and coco + clair clair.

i'm bisexual, but i have a larger attraction to women than men. my relationship with my mum is a bit strained but i'm close to my dad (not in the internalized misogyny way though). i was raised in the south (to this day i don't know why my parents did this to me) but spent a lot of time up north and went through the catholic girl phase including ending up wanting to kiss girls lmao. i'm deeply spiritual but not religious and wear a lot of jewelry (gold and silver).

right now i'm in school for cosmetic chemistry to learn how to formulate makeup. i am obsessed with aesthetics. i'm very sentimental and emotional but not when you first meet me. when it comes to love i fall last but the hardest. i love to read (currently rereading beautiful creatures which is an all-time fave) and some of my favorite films are jackie, arrival, last night in soho, thoroughbreds, and the great gatsby. i can be kind to a fault but i don't care because i'd rather die than be known as mean.

according to my friends here are things that they associate with me: leaving long messages for them that connect to bluetooth in their car, coconut and vanilla scented anything, spiced coffee in the mornings bc i learned it from my mum, bamboo hoops, slowed lana songs, minimalism w art deco accents, annotations in my books to the point where the pages are cracking, long box braids, almond shaped nails, pinterest, the almond blossom painting by van gogh (this made me cry), birth charts, going to the cinema alone, upstate new york, and vacations on film.

i am so sorry if this is way too much info but i love you and i'm so proud of you!! you deserve everything you're getting and you are so sweet to top it all of! can't hug you in person but know that i'm always sending you my love, all of it.

my love !! you’re so sweet and all the best girls are lana girls i swear !!

honestly you give me such aqua, mermaidy, beachy, beautiful vibes ! i love earthy girls and with you being an earth sign i feel like your aura and vibe just ties all in so well ! you seem so pretty and peaceful i can just tell you’re a wonderful person ! 💗

but i totally ship you with… jill roberts.

you’re both complete opposites, but opposites attract! you wear the pink shirts and jill wears the blue plaid! a pisces and a taurus are a terrific match! you’re both able to comfort each other in times of need and are a strong, stable couple! you bring a lot of love and brilliance to each other, and help each other find the happiness and delight in things!

you’re both lana lovers! you help jill bring out her emotions and express them to you, it t as yes a-lot for her to open up towards you but you’re her rock! you both share a love of reading and recommend books to each other! you’re both very much vanilla girls, you both smell very sweet, always stealing each others coconut scented body sprays and if you ever trade clothes you can smell each other on them!

you definitely do each others nails! painting them pastels with french tips or even just giving each other manicures sometimes! jill has plans to visit new york at some point and she really wants to take you with her, and explore the big apple with you! she can’t wait for all the adventures and exploring you’ll get up-to! but you both live a very simple life too! you both enjoy just relaxing and being in each others presence.

i hope you like it ! i would love to see you and jill together oml ! 💗

#「 ally .ᐟ 」 #— celebrations ִ ࣪𖤐 #scream #scream iv #scream 4 #jill roberts #emma roberts #❤️ lust for life

[spaceyflowerswriting]

Eugene x reader where readers parents are like billionaires so Eugene works w/ them, and when reader and eugene meet they fall inlove n shit something like they fell first but he fell harder sorry if its confusing

lucky (eugene x reader)

details: fluffy oneshot, gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and eugene are coworkers but crushing on each other

summary: eugene thinks about his favorite coworker.

a/n: no worries, thank u for the request :] !!

×

Most people, whether at first glance or actually getting to know him, would often assume Eugene was cynical when it came to love. And they would be right, to a degree. The thing was, he wasn't pessimistic when it came to the emotion, he just didn't prioritize it much. Even if he accomplished his goal, he'd prioritize living a peaceful, quiet life next. After that, he'd be content.

There would be no need to go searching for a partner. He didn't think it was necessary, and left that part of his life in fate's hands while he would control the rest. It was either fate would have the right one come walking along, or he would die without a romantic relationship. Which he had no problem with, obviously.

Fortunately for him, fate was kind, and led you to him.

Eugene already considered himself pretty lucky just with how far his intelligence, allies, and connections brought him but he didn't think he would hit gold in the love department as well.

After all, what were the chances of becoming well acquainted with the heir of someone to a billionare company, who happened to be around his age? What were the chances said person was also as cunning as him, with the added bonus of being attractive? Your charm was only the beginning of his growing feelings for you.

Of course, he was never a "love at first sight" kind of man, so while he was intrigued by you in the beginning, he mainly let you stay around because you were a trustworthy and useful asset to him. Naturally that then lead to spending more time together, and eventually he found himself wanting your company, even outside his "work hours."

He could tell you felt the same; almost always you found an excuse to be nearby during his rare breaktimes. It would be a lie to say he didn't enjoy those moments, and an even bigger lie to say he himself never once seeked you out for your presence under the guise of business reasons.

Whether this relationship unfolded was up to you and the progress of his plans, but he was content dancing along the lines of platonic and romantic intentions with you. For now. Mostly.

Okay, not really, his feelings had grown quite a bit within the past few months, but he didn't want to rush things, either. Timing was everything, and feeling unsure of that made him want to hold back. Still, he made sure you knew of his feelings despite never directly expressing it. Surely all the gifts and quality time he spent with you showed that?

"Eugene."

Ah, just the person he was thinking about.

"Are you busy?"

"Not at the moment, no. Did you need something?" Eugene turned away from the window to face you.

You shrugged on the way to stand next to him. "I just wanted to check in with you."

"Is that all?" he teased, watching in amusement as you smirked and countered with, "Do I need further reason?"

"I suppose not."

"Good, because I wasn't going to provide any more than what I said." Eugene shook his head while you snickered. "So... how are things going?"

Small talk, huh? Oh well. He would indulge, for you. "Smoothly. I've been trying to recover from my latest loss and believe things are working in my favor again."

You gave him a hum of acknowledgement. "Are Eli and Warren proving useful?"

"Very much so. Eli's a fast worker." He tilted his head. "How is your work?"

"Daruma and Nomen are doing fine. Neko's still trying to get it together. At least, I think she's trying." You definitely didn't sound confident saying that last part.

Eugene's nose scrunched at the mention of Neko. He replied with his first thought, "Don't remind me of my loss of Sinu Han."

Laughing, you gave him a little elbow nudge. "Look on the bright side, at least you have Eli now."

"Yes, but I would have preferred if I could keep Sinu and have Eli."

"Fair enough. Better hope you don't lose anymore assets."

The perfect chance to drop a comment with flirty undertones--Eugene snatched it right up. "Indeed. It would be a shame if I lost something valuable like you again."

He expected you to look at least somewhat flustered based on past experiences, but you stayed unbothered. Now that Eugene thought about it, implying he viewed you as an asset probably wasn't as flirty as he thought it was. Well, you were a valuable asset, but you were also more to him; he only meant to emphasize that last part.

This realization stung him a little bit in embarrassment.

"Well, you better hold on tight, then." There was a playfulness to your voice, maybe even a flirty one. Were you flirting back after his failed attempt? "Not that I'm planning to leave. But it's nice when you show you care about little ol' me."

Right as Eugene was about to reply lightheartedly, someone called out your name. The two of you turn to the source of the voice: Daruma.

He was walking down the hall towards you both. He stopped at a respectful distance and bowed his head slightly. "Excuse my interruption. Mitsuki finally left her room for once. You asked me or Ryuhei to come get you if she did." He added a little more quietly, "Please hurry before Ryuhei attempts running away with her into the sunset or something."

"Ah..." You trail off into laughter. "Okay, I'll be right there! Thanks for letting me know, Daruma."

He bowed his head politely again and turned away to leave.

Once out of earshot, Eugene changed what he was about to say into, "Better get to work." Demanding words, but they came out in a friendly way.

"Right away, boss." You grab his tie and readjust it before sweetly smiling, as if putting on an innocent act despite the flirty-sounding tone you still had. "See you around, Eugene."

It left him too frozen in shock to respond, and by then you were running off yelling for Daruma to slow down so you could catch up with him. Eugene just stared at you until you disappeared around the corner of the hallway.

"Hmph." A puff of air left his nose as he crossed his arms. He couldn't help but glance around a little in slight worry that someone around would catch him with the mildest tinge of red on his cheeks.

After confirming he was alone, he turned back to the window he was staring out of.

He refused to rush. But you sure were making him feel hurried to ask you to be his lover, lest you charm someone else and they ask you out first. Then again, you seemed to only be interested in him, although he wouldn't know how long that would last. Still, he figured some patience would go a long way, so he'd wait a little more.

#lookism x reader #eugene x reader #eugene #requests #first time writing eugene @_@; hope i did ok !!

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Hey, your local ace is back! I honestly come looking for comfort or idk cuz being demisexual/asexual in today’s society is HARD. I have always been confused to what ‘being good in bed’ consists of. I understand it involves the whole communication thing but people say ‘sex is like any other skill, you have to do it a lot in order to be good’ and I am like ‘okay but what if casual sex is not my thing? Do I just stay an ‘awkward virgin’ forever?’. It almost feels like I need to be promiscuous in order to be enough. I am demi so I want to do it with someone I plan to live the rest of my life with but all the discussion of being good at sex makes me feel so self conscious, I want to do good for my future bf but the thought of not being attractive enough makes me want to shrivel up lolol. Even though I got an hourglass body, big boobs, wide hips and good butt (thank you parents!) all of this makes me feel so…Unattractive and ugly. I also feel like if my bf told me I wasn’t pleasuring him I would break up with him and run for the hills out of embarrassment 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️. So my question to the class is: is the emotional connection not enough for sex? Cuz I always thought it would be for me. How do you get ‘good at sex’ without having a hoe era or whatever? Lolol I am a nerd so even if I wasn’t ace i don’t think I would be much good at sex either

Hey! @xiuminswifeforever

I haven't been ignoring you but I just have been trying to figure out a way to reply to this because my feelings and experience are very similar to yours.

It's rough, it's really fucking rough out here.

It's like you either have to forfeit emotional intimacy to have a semblance of a sex life or you remain emotionally abstinent/celibate permanently.

It's like the idea of wanting a sexual relationship with emotionally intimacy is just something you shouldn't even consider now.

I don't know if this will help you but what's helped me with gaining 'experience' w/o necessarily being with someone is through self-exploration.

Honestly, reading smut, having a pretty collection of toys and listening to nsfw bf audios has helped me learn and feel more confident in what I enjoy and don't enjoy.

My response to 'is the emotional connection not enough for sex?' is...I don't know, it would depend on the other person really.

My romantic and hopeful side says:

'yes, the emotional connection should be enough for sex because if you really desire to be in a long-term and healthy relationship, then physical intimacy would be something that you would work through together'.

My cynical and realistic side says:

'Most people ie men in their 20s don't want to wait for an emotional connection to form before physical intimacy happens.'

I've listened to a lot of experts about relationship and physical intimacy where they say it takes 3 months for men to form an emotional connection with their partner so you should wait 3 months before having sex so there's that foundation of emotional nurture and care.

But realistically, what guy is going to want to wait 3 months?

I wish I could say something more happy but my view is quite bleak right now, I feel your pain and loneliness, it's awful and I get it.

What I am going to do is tag a few moots of mine who I feel would help with this question and they can respond if they would like and give you a different perspective:

@saintfool @anyamaris @hipster-shiz @creativechaoticloner @muselin @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @ja3hwa @lyramundana @daddysspecialdollyworld and everyone else who feels like they can contribute to this!

#whatudowhennooneseesyou moots #slumber party with ruby #whatudowhennooneseesyou answered asks

[threewaysdivided]

💖👻🧠 (is this too many??)

Not at all!

Fanfic Ask Game

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

Funnily enough, I don't have any of these! The closest thing is my bird painting, which has been languishing as a result of my moving house twice and just not having the time or table space.

I know myself well enough to be aware of my tendency towards completionist over-commitment to stuff. I tend to hang back on actually starting projects that need more than a couple of weeks unless I'm ready to actually see them through. WIP-projects mostly stay in my head or as...

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

There's actually couple of these in a fairly developed state that have stayed bunked in my brain either because I didn't feel like spending the time to turn them into prose with all the connective tissue, or because they work in that liminal dream-sequence brain-space where I can blend from one scene to the next and hop in and out of flashbacks for context but I would have no idea how to structure them as an actual story that makes coherent sense to someone else.

A run-down:

YJxDP Brother's AU story concept #1, building on this starting point. Dick finds out from Jack Haley that he has an older brother, only to discover that Fentonworks is gone and the trail is completely cold. Meanwhile Wally finds himself getting drawn into the life of a new classmate at Keystone High, who seems to be estranged from his family, is perpetually tired and a bit standoffish... and who looks an awful lot like an older Dick Grayson at first glance (but that has to be a coincidence, right? Because Dick doesn't have any living family.) First impressions can be misleading and the more Wally looks the less certain he is that they're related but the more he notices other things. Most importantly: that this is a person who needs help and maybe a friend.

YJxDP Brother's AU story concept #2, would completely not work in writing as it would fully rewrite both canons but basically exploring the concept of "what if they DID grow up in the circus together and somehow got separated, lost contact and then reunited as heroes", going into the loss, hurt, anger, distance and misunderstandings that would come from being suddenly split apart from your only remaining family with no warning. In which Dick is sitting on the kind of vicious anger that only a deeply hurt child can, Danny has been drowning in the guilt of a broken promise for five years and a certain someone has been interfering with the mail because the timeline needed both Robin and Phantom. A lot of shouting and crying ensues. The other reason I probably won't write this one is that it turns Danny into a distinctly different character to his canon counterpart.

Danny Phantom AU where the Fentons are not malicious but are also not very good as parents due to hyperfocus on their work. Jazz leaves to try and make a safer place where she can eventually petition to get custody of Danny. Meanwhile Danny - in attempt to be "part of the family" - volunteers to participate in some tests with ectoplasm that make him increasingly unwell and eventually into a halfa whose ghost form is shaped by his parents anti-ghost rhetoric and is mostly used by them as an anti-ghost countermeasure. Even though Danny is the same person in both forms he and "Hunter" aren't treated that way, and he ends up feeling as though "Hunter" needs to conform their ideas about about ghosts (not feeling emotion, not feeling physical sensation etc) - which is not a good thing for him and inadvertently makes him a lot of enemies among the ghosts that come to Amity Park. After struggling with that on his own for a while, he eventually leaves to be with Jazz and has to slowly learn how manage being a halfa, and to unlearn most of the things he's internalised about both ghosts and himself with the help of Jazz and some ghostly allies he stumbles into finding.

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Tricking me into complimenting myself, how very dare you! (Affectionate.)

I think it's probably best said in this quote from C.S. Lewis:

I wrote the books I should have liked to read. That’s always been my reason for writing. People won’t write the books I want, so I have to do it for myself.

That's a pretty good summary actually. I started writing Deathly Weapons because I noticed these consistent gaps in the DP x DC (mostly DPYJ or DPTT) fanfic collections at the time, where certain ideas or opportunities weren't getting used and I really wanted to see them.

Specifically some stuff that I like and/or am looking forward to doing:

Causality - I try to make it so that things have a solid in-universe reason to happen. It's totally not necessary for fanfic (its perfectly fine if a story is just an excuse to put your blorbos into interesting positions) but I like to make things feel a little bit more grounded. Especially when it comes to missions in fanfic, often times I kind of found myself wondering why the Team's covert squad was being deployed on certain missions rather than other heroes - it's just one of those things that I like to have an answer for in my own stuff.

Fair-play mysteries - I'm writing for myself but I'm also writing the story that I wish Baby 3WD could have found, and part of that is I think readers like to feel clever, not stupid. I love leaving little hints that point to stuff that's going to come up later (for example, in Chapter 18 I tried to foreshadow Nano being tied up in the cupboard behind the boss before the Team even knew a hostage was missing from the main room) - I feel terribly witty while doing it and I super love hearing when people notice. Two people left comments speculating about some character stuff that's going to go down in Equilibrium and someone else already DMed me with a correct guess at part of the final twist and I love all of you. It's fun to give people the chance to realise what's coming before the characters do.

Character specificity - this is probably more of an upcoming thing than a current-chapters thing, but I really enjoy digging into the specifics of characterisation, character motivations and character relationships. And especially when it comes to grief arcs. I don't know how successfully I'm going to pull off Flashpoints, Combustion and Equilibrium but if I can get even some of the character stuff to work, I'll be happy.

Descriptions - settings are fun and I like describing them, especially when they also set scenes and build mood. I feel like its a part of writing that doesn't see as much love in fic (again, totally fair, we're here for the blorbos) but I love doing it. The oil rig setpiece was fun, I liked giving Wayne Manor a sense of its own personality, and I'm really looking forward to stuff like the jungle setting in In the Mists, the mountains in Rituals, the night sky scenes in Enemy Lines and a lot of gentle flavour descriptions wrapping through Equilibrium.

This was fun! Thanks for playing!

#fanfic ask game #andypantsx3's ask game #danny phantom #young justice #DP x YJ #DP Crossover #young justice: deathly weapons #anonymous #3WD Answers #OlderBrotherDanny!AU #GraysonBrothers!AU

[jtheplante]

All Hail King Julien survey! 🎉

Feel free to copy & paste, then give ur own answers! 👍 Stolen from @fairfaxandy

1. What do you think about All Hail King Julien?

Worst show ever

2. When did you first watch the show?

I knew this show existed for years. WHY DID I SLEEP ON IT FOR SO LONG??? Anyway last June I think I finally gave the 1st episode a chance, I was bored & looking for something new. The 1st episode is only okay so I didn't think much of it. A few weeks later (early July) I decided to give the show a 2nd chance. Episode 2 is meh, but it was Episode 3 w/the absolute gay furry thirst trap that is Karl Fanaloka that won me over & sealed my fate to watch the whole show 🔥

3. Favorite season?

Season 2 is probably the best season of any show ever in history. Exiled as a whole is also amazing but sadly dips in quality for a couple episodes IMO

4. Favorite episode?

Um have u even watched my episode rank video?? I put s3e6 (Jungle Games) as my #1, but as time's gone on, I think it's really s5e11 (KJ Is Watching You AKA the Orange ITN Black parody episode). Ted is peak and this episode is his peak 🔥

5. Least favorite episode?

As said in my ep rank video!! The S3 opener - O Captain Where Aren't Thou (both parts). Jokes fall flat, KJ's parents are a pain to watch, & the pirate crew is so forgettable I can't name a single one off the top of my head

6. Favorite scene?

Um the whole show but the hardest I laughed at any moment was when Ted suddenly exploded on stage while singing for no f*cking reason

7. Least favorite scene?

s3e4 the episode basically opens with a minute of nasty visualized farts & everyone vomiting on each other. I like gross-out to an extent but this was TOO. MUCH.

8. Favorite characters?

1st: Ted my beloved 💗💗💗 he's so much like me it's scary

2nd: King Julien - a VERY close 2nd. His energy & ability to stay goofy in even the worst situations inspires me to be the same 🔥

3rd: Karl - Gay thirst trap hottie social reject misunderstood sad backstory creative genius who just wants love 😭😭😭

4th: Mort - Objectively the best fictional character of all time. Sure he delivers the funniest moments in animated history but I don't really feel a connection with him like I do the top 3

5th: "Uncle" Julien - sass and ASS 🍑🥵 I love villains who are unapologetically assholes. His redemption was forced & stupid

9. Least favorite character?

Maggie - I love farts but it 100% depends on who. If it's a hot guy then 😍😍😍 but this is an old woman so 🤢 & that's like her whole character

10. Favorite ships?

Jaurice - absolutely adorable couple, heck I get teary eyed just thinking about them, gosh I'm so gay. Anyway their ship is extra special b/c KJ is usually hedonistic & horni, but with Maurice it's so wholesome & romantic 🥺

Julieddy & Karlien - These 2 ships have their own unique dynamics, but I put them together b/c they're both a gay man desperately wanting a man they can't have. This kinda situation always fascinates me & I can relate myself...

Karl x Chauncey - we all kno who Karl wants the most, but the fact that he has a happy life with Chauncey makes me happy 😌

Pandy - Be gay do crime

Ted x Horst - tbh if Ted finally divorced & married a man instead, Horst is a genuine contender

Nurse Phantom & Dr. S - the way they bicker is hilarious

KJ x Rob - Gay booty bumpin hotties enough said

11. Least favorite ships?

Clage - I've already ranted about it a million times it's just crap

"Uncle" Julien x Zora - like I said, forced & stupid

Willie x anyone - Willie's too innocent y'all

12. Have you ever cried while watching?

I'm an overly emotional gay man I cry over litcherally everything. I practically choked to death crying the first time I saw Maurice fall 😭

13. Favorite songs?

-Theme song superiority 🔥🔥🔥

-True Bromance is a gay anthem for the ages

-All Eyes On Me (Photronique) 🔥🔥

-I also like Swagnificent & Big Stacks

#all hail king julien #ahkj #king julien #dreamworks

[howlingday]

Ruby: Hey, Yang. What's it like living with the guy you have a crush on?

Yang: W-W-W-W-What are you talking about, Ruby?! I-I-I don't like Jaune that way! I mean, sure, he's kind of dreamy, and really nice!

Ruby: (Yang ranting, Thinking) This is my sister, and even I'm amazed she's convinced nobody's noticed.

Jaune: Good morning, Yang!

Yang: Ack! Jaune!

Jaune: Thanks again for letting us stay here.

Yang: Oh, it's nothing! W-W-We're happy to have you! I-I-It must have been rough losing your house in that fire...

Jaune: Yeah, it was scary. (Scratches his cheek) But we're glad nobody's hurt.

Yang: I'm glad you weren't hurt, either, Jaune!

Ruby: (Thinking) He's wearing the ring! How do you not notice the guy you have a crush on is wearing a ring?! Is there something wrong with your eyes?!

Yang: By the way, I heard you visited your parents recently.

Jaune: Yeah, my parents wanted to get in touch with me and Velvet.

Yang: Get in touch... with Velvet? (Thinking) Get in touch with Velvet? They have the same last name. Wasn't she his sister? Did his parents not know her? They seem to get along really well, and he wanted them to connect...

Ruby: (Thinking) IS THIS IT?!

Yang: ...Yeah, it makes sense for you to be on good terms with your parents!

She wasn't able to sort through her thoughts.

Jaune: Yeah, I... guess we are on good terms.

Yang: Yeah, of course it is!

Ruby: (Thinking) This... This is just scary! I know she's my sister, but this is horror movie levels of stupid!

Taiyang: (Walks in) I just finished helping Velvet unpack.

Yang: Hey, Dad! Isn't Velvet nice?

Taiyang: Yup! I hope you find a wife as kind as Jaune's is.

Ruby: !

Yang: ...Wife?

Taiyang: Yeah, her and Jaune are married, remember?

Yang: ..........WHAT?! JAUNE GOT MARRIED?!

Taiyang: Huh? You mean you didn't know? I figured you would be the first to know, since you had a huge crush on him.

Jaune: !

Ruby: !!

Yang: ...WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, DAD?!

Ruby: ...I would like to apologize for my sister being an idiot, and my dad being a jerk.

Jaune: Uh, I understand. It's fine.

Yang: To think, my love life would end before it begins! (Thinking) I remember the day I fell in love with him back at Beacon. It was a hot, summer day and he was train in the arena. His muscles glistened in the bright sunlight-

Taiyang: (Claps his hands) Alright, that's enough flashbacks! The point is Yang had her heart broken because she was too spineless to tell the guy she liked.

Yang: ?!

Taiyang: Now you can focus on becoming a better huntress and get me some grandkids! And make sue that they aren't from an already married man.

Yang: Why are you brushing this off like that?! Your little girl's heart is broken and your first instinct is to tell me to get over it?! I need time to heal!

Taiyang: Well, my wife ran off, ditching you onto me, leaving me alone to raise a spoiled brat like you! Don't whine to me about heartbreak when you've only had one at such a young age!

Yang: Don't compare situation with that heavy-duty trauma! It just makes my emotions feel like they don't matter!

Jaune: (Uncomfortable)

Ruby: I'm sorry for... I'm just sorry. My family is a bunch of morons.

#rwby #yang xiao long #ruby rose #jaune arc #taiyang xiao long #tonikaku kawaii #scarlet knight

[waffles-and-momos]

A Letter to You!

Hey Love!

Been a while since I could write to you about all the "nice things".

How's your place been?

I have noticed how your smile has widened since you stepped in here. It speaks, of how badly you craved this change.

The past six months have been tough, I wonder how you managed it, but you did. You did just enough to deserve this treat for you.

You look so much more open when I see you grazing the street dogs or anyone else's pet dog when I see you talk with the locals there to get your necessities and not to forget that cute little "Good night" "Hi" "Good Morning" "Bye" to the people there, all of it with a wide end smile and a bit little shy, I don't know maybe confused if they'll reciprocate back in the same way or if you are overdoing it, but just doing it cause you want to.

I see you waking up at 6 in the morn, making your own breakfast, eating what suits you not what is given to you, getting your work done anyhow cause that really really makes you feel good, and gives you a peaceful sleep to wake up the next day with the courage, knowing you are doing it. And no doubt the friends you make and connecting at your own pace. Haaaaa. Feels heavenly doesn't it?

It's not the same, as the girl I used to see every day, every morning and night in the hostel. She used to get up in the morning so that we could have breakfast together. She used to shower so that we could shower together. She used to walk, workout, or work so we could do shit together. Everything she did was more because she wanted to have it with me. Whereas, what she needed was that exact space for herself, doing it for her sanity. And she is.

I look up to you V. I really do, I know you won't believe it but it's true. And I'll keep looking out for you, to be with you, because eventually that was, is, my happiest space.

I have seen at least 3 different phases of you this year, hostel, home, Blore, and by far this is where I have seen you the happiest.

You just needed a little help from yourself to put the pieces together for you. And a cheering voice out there to let you know that- You are doing Great!

Don't worry about parents being grasped for life cause that's a matter of time when it won't even be a thing. Once you get a grasp on your life, no one else gets the chance. I repeat NO ONE ELSE.

Exams are like seasons they come and go but do they ever settle for all the time? No right. It's okay to get a bit stressed in work life, lets you know that you care about your growth, but don't ever take it to your heart. You'll have uncountable opportunities trust me. You literally have crossed one of the toughest hurdles you had all your life, do you think you really need to care about anything else?

You will definitely have your share of ups and downs but know that downs are temporary and ups are a pleasure to live with.

Lastly, people say we should always have something to come back to. Home they say, doesn't necessarily have to be your hometown, can be placed under a bridge, a bar where you meet your best friend, a street where you love wandering, anything. The one that you create for yourself with or w/o people, definitely with things that matter to you, a space of yours that you crave to be in when the day ends, when you are tired when you want to have your emotions out, know that this space will always be the one to shield you & comfort you. Along with living and figuring yourself don't forget to build that very space for you.

Thanks & Regards,

Your cheerleader,

~k.