#but honestly. im completely fine with being the only person who ever gets to see my writing. i know that sounds sarcastic but i mean it tbh

[mailjeevasfan]

Hi!! Could you maybe do something for a Matt x Reader one shot where the reader almost gets in a fight with Matt when they first meet but then realize that he’s kind of attractive

sorry to the people who sent the requests that have been in my ask box for decades im gonna try and revive mailjeevasfan soon i swear

matt x gn!reader

you hang up the phone with a sigh. that call was pretty tough, so you try to ground yourself and look around at your surroundings. you ducked into this alley so quickly when you saw your phone ringing that you’d lost your bearings. as you absentmindedly begin to walk back out into the street, someone shoulder checks you as they speed past. you gasp involuntarily, only now realising that you were in your own world completely.

‘hey!’ you blurt out. you wouldn’t usually react at all, but you’re already in a bad mood.

the man stops and turns around, and you get a good look at him.

the first thing that catches your eye is his outfit. he’s wearing a red and black striped shirt with a fluffy vest thrown over the top. it looks old, like a hand-me-down, but it also looks very comfortable. to each their own, you think.

his shirt matches his messy red hair, and the darkness of the alley casts a shadow over his goggles, making it impossible to see his eyes.

‘…sorry, i didn’t see you there.’

his voice is slightly muffled due to the cigarette hanging from his mouth.

‘uh, it’s fine. i guess it is kind of dark.’

you look at each other for a moment, unsure of what to say now that you’ve gotten his attention. you stare at the ground, crossing your arms over your chest before he takes a step closer and speaks.

‘i like your jacket.’

you look up again, and you can see his face more clearly now. he has a very faint smirk on his face, and it annoys you ever so slightly. the streetlight he’s stood under flickers erratically.

‘…thanks…’

you want to go home and get straight into bed, but for some reason you can’t let him leave you alone.

honestly, now that you think about it, his outfit suits him just fine… he actually seems kind of cool. you watch as he takes a drag of his cigarette.

‘uh…you just gonna stare at me all night?’

his smirk is even bigger now. he almost looks like he’s about to laugh.

‘no.’

he lets out an amused exhale.

‘…are you like this to every random person you meet?’

‘no. just the cute ones.’

you smile despite yourself. it’s a small smile, you’re not even sure if he can see your face properly in this light, so it might not even be visible. however, you can see his face very clearly, along with the faint blush on his cheeks. he drops his cigarette and puts it out, keeping his eyes on the ground as he talks.

‘you know… it’s pretty dark. maybe i could, like, walk you home, or… wherever you’re going…’

he trails off. you think about his words for a second. you really shouldn’t trust this random guy to walk you home, right? but maybe he’s alright. he seems to be around the same age as you, and he’s… well, he’s honestly kind of awkward. you look at him again, and realise his face is now a lot redder.

‘okay. sure.’

you begin to walk back to your house with him, and he makes casual small talk. asking what you do, whereabouts you live, where you’re from. you make sure not too say too much, obviously still being wary of the fact that this is a total stranger. but something about his tone and energy makes it hard to do that at times. he’s almost… disarming.

‘well, uh, this is me…’

you and the man stand by the door and pause awkwardly.

‘thanks for walking me home.’

‘yeah, no worries.’

as you stare at him, you know you’re making it obvious. you’re waiting. waiting for the silence to be filled.

‘…could i, like, get your number or something, uhhh…’

he looks at you, realising he isn’t quite sure how to address you.

‘y/n. and yeah, sure.’

he hands you his phone, and you put your number in. when you hand it back, you realise you’re smiling. but you honestly don’t care anymore. he smiles back, almost smugly, and begins to walk away, lighting what’s probably his sixth cigarette of the night.

‘hey, wait, i didn’t even get your name!’

he spins around, still smiling.

‘it’s matt.’

#death note #mail jeevas #matt #death note x reader #mail jeevas x reader

[ultimateloserboy]

i cant go to sleep until i release the thoughts so here they are. im sorry if this is a bit more nonsensical or rambleish than my other ones, im very very tired but anyway

this is going to be a bit upsetting for the lovey-dovey sunshine and rainbows crowd but people give red guy and duck WAYY too much credit when it comes to their relationship (or at least how it used to be) like they DID NOT //start out// functional AT. ALL. they used to go together like a car and a tree. and honestly this makes them even more interesting

They’re both insecure in different areas, and they react differently to these insecurities as well. from what ive gathered, red guy dislikes how “odd” he is. he tries to act bitter and uncaring about everything and everyone, either to fit in with the other red things, or to keep himself distracted or distanced from the world hes stuck in. he distances himself from his friends as well. this is a horrible contrast with ducks outward and open love of his friends (despite how horribly he treats them lmao but i digress) duck reveals in the family episode that despite loving himself, he wants other people to love him too. duck is not necessarily insecure in himself, hes the best one after all, but he does feel very lonely. he feels like nobody loves him as much as he loves himself, like the only person he truly has is himself because nobody else is willing to love him. this obviously makes him feel very alone. this is why red guys denial and dismissal of his friends hits ducks insecurities harshly and directly, even if its not intentional.

once i got to the fridge scene during my first watchthrough i was very confused. firstly because i was utterly flabbergasted that they were gay for some reason (i had never even considered it), and secondly because ducks reply caught me off guard. duck is a very full-of-himself character. so why would he be surprised to find out someone likes looking at him? shouldnt he reply with something like “well yeah duh you big stupid idiot im the prettiest and the best etc etc”?? well i understand now why duck reacted that way. he doesnt get many compliments from anyone but himself, probably talking in the mirror. and he ESPECIALLY hadnt gotten many compliments from red guy at this point. red guy denied being his friend very adamantly. EVEN AT HIS FUNERAL. HIS FUNERAL!!! and yes red guy does realize he misses duck eventually, but duck isnt even there to see it, and when he comes back he finds himself literally replaced?? (like.. red guy ur fumbling so hard right now. fumbling straight into a divorce. and ur not even married yet man. but anyway, back on topic)

slowly throughout the series red guy starts being more open, and whether he realizes it or not his whole uncaring act isnt that good to begin with. my favorite small detail during the funeral is that red guy calls the plates “our plates” without even realizing it, right in the middle of denying his best-friendship with duck. like dude who do you think youre fooling other than yourself!?

with all of this considered, despite red guys poor performance of denial, it’s perfectly understandable for duck to be surprised when red guy openly confesses his honest emotions. an up-front confession of feelings is not something red guy ever wants or allows himself to do, so duck was probably confused as hell.

my favorite part of this scene is how red guy is looking away when he says it, still clearly embarrassed but saying it anyway. this is a HUGE deal for his character. it was a character development that had been slowly growing throughout the tv series, and by episode six i think it was as close to completion as its ever been. he does pull the whole “its fine just ignore it” thing with duck earlier in the episode, but he does it more to calm him down in this context. the fridge scene confirms to me that red guy has almost stopped running, not necessarily from the house, but from his friends. he has finally let himself love them. hes finally let himself admit not just to himself, but to duck, that hes important to him.

this is why i think theyre so interesting, because these two characters are cynical assholes. that’s how becky and joe have described them at times. these characters are not the best of people, theyre both messed up people in a messed up and confusing world, so of course they wont be perfect. but thats the beauty of it. they dont want to hurt eachother, so they try their best to change. they try their best to fight against the cruelty of their minds and surroundings and let themselves love eachother even if only for a second, even if in the end it wont really matter

ok im going to sleep now goodnight

#fluffybird #red guy x duck #dhmis #dont hug me im scared #dhmis duck #dhmis fandom #dhmis red guy #duck guy #red guy #duck dhmis #red guy dhmis

[system-of-a-feather]

Also a lil more elaboration on this post from the OG guy in the system who talks this shit but it's also important to know when adopting radical self acceptance is that being a fucking idiot and a coward and crap literally has no inherent "oh Im a good or bad or cool or lame" person on it's own

Literally everyone is stupid in their own way and literally everyone has the things they are scared to deal with and face from time to time. I'm a part very dissociated from the concept of fear and my brain converts it fast to other shit, but I do fear letting myself down - both as a part and as a part ofba system - and doing harm by the few I deeply respect; momentarily I am prone to being scared of having my shit taken - trauma crap

That shits literally normal, being scared of shit is literally a completely normal and natural thing across almost all animal species (some argue all). There is no personal judgement attached to literally any feeling on its own.

The difference is whether you can look at that feeling and say "damn I'm scared and that a sucks ass feeling" and actually accept, address and deal with that feeling - or if you are going to deny-deny-deny.

And that isn't to say "Oh you are a stupid coward for wanting to deny it" because again, it is OK to admit you are scared and not ready to deal with something. That takes huge fucking balls to admit. If you aren't ready to deal with it, cool man that's fine, but do take a moment to actually affirm that with yourself - that CURRENTLY in the moment you are not ready to deal with it.

That is not "running away from it like a coward" that is acknowledging the truth of your current state and leaving space for it.

If you can get comfortable admitting that you are too scared to do something right now, you are inherently - in subtext - letting yourself know that 1) you accept that you are scared and it is a real thing about you that you are willing to embrace but also 2) that as much as that is a truth of your current state, that it is just that - a current state.

There literally is no shame or inherent judgement to be found in a feeling alone. Feelings alone don't mean shit. Feelings alone LITERALLY don't mean SHIT. It's how you handle and act in regards to them both internallyvwith yourself and externally with others that determines if you are being cringe (derogatory) or cringe (affectionate) and sorry not sorry, every action you do there will be someone who thinks you are cringe so theres no escaping being cringe WHILE being your authentic self.

Anyways, building radical self acceptance is a hard thing to do so I got mad respects for anyone building it. Most of the system doesn't get it yet either and so I get how hard it is and all.

I actively basically bully and harrass Riku about it 24/7 7 days a week 52 weeks a year for the past 3 years until they get it into their dumb skull. And while I call them a fuckin dumbass, I am pretty proud of how casually and readily they have learned to admit when they are being "a coward" which is easier verbage for them than outright saying "scared" which I'll take.

But honestly, get in touch with your vulnerable "not cool" parts of yourself that you are embarrassed about and just get used to stating it as it is. Those vulnerable and embarrassing aspects are only as embarrassing and insecure as you let them be. If you hide them and try to keep people from seeing it, of course you are going to feel scared to let others see it, of course you are going to feel insecure, and of course you aren't going to be confident when anything relating that comes up out of fear of your insecurity showing.

It's self assassination honestly. Judging your emotions and internal experiences like they mean anything other than a reflection of your current self and what you need us just not productive.

But I digress. Its a complicated and difficult thing to build and work on and itll always be more nuanced and specific to the individual than I can ever chart out in a casual ramble on some of my life philosophies and principles on shit.

So take home message? Try to stop judging your feelings and just, ya know, have them. They may suck but its just how it is in the moment and the moment can always change.

#alter: xiv #ramble #xiv rambles #emotional processing #ep rambles #yeah im an ep #recovery #healing #radical self love #radical self acceptance

[scarrletmoon]

Twilight but college outtakes PLEASE

from the WIP list

so i thought this was the twilight au but it's actually the time i decided to rewrite twilight but set in college and dont ask me why, i got so far into it and then was like "stephenie meyer will probably write this herself 10 years from now anyway so this is just a huge waste of time"

so i'll just talk about the twilight college au i started writing for ed and stede instead which is way more interesting anyway

stede is an english major, sophmore year transfer, and finds out about edward through an on-campus exhibit from the art and fashion students and is FASCINATED by ed's designs. so he asks his roommate buttons if he knows who this ed teach guy is and buttons is like. ah.........the vampire

so stede thinks he should ask someone else for answers instead

meanwhile, ed happens to read the latest issue of the campus literary journal and LOVES stede's work in it

stede loves going to museums by himself and his student ID gets him free admission to the local one, and he ends up at an exhibit of clothing through history at the same time as ed (there's a joke in here somewhere about some of those clothes being ed's which he alludes to)

(very annoying when your fave dress gets robbed out from under you by fucking historians)

here have some dialogue i threw in the outline:

and then they talk all night until the sun comes up and ed suddenly has to leave

stede can tell that ed's hiding something but he's not about to ask questions and scare off the only person he's ever met who finds him interesting. and you know, ed starts designing stuff outside of assignments that he wants to see stede in, maybe, if he wants. and that's where they're at when stede invites ed to this halloween party, bc he's afraid to go alone but it'd be nice if he knew one other person there, and he knows ed isn't really into the whole party scene so like, no pressure if he's not interested, and it's a costume party so--

ed says no and stede tries (and fails) to pretend that he's not heartbroken about it

stede goes to the party bc fuck it, he cant go through college with just ONE friend and his roommate -- and surprise surprise, who walks through the door but one ed teach, dressed as a slutty vampire. ed's changed his mind apparently! and they almost kiss! but ed runs away at the last minute

so then it's like. WEIRD. bc they're obviously into each other but ed has this Secret. and stede's oblivious but he's not COMPLETELY stupid so he figures it out but just.....doesn't say anything. and then ed is finally like. stede i have to tell you something, dont freak out. in his head, stede is like "oh god he's going to say he has a boyfriend he's going to say he has a GIRLFRIEND--" and ed's all "im not human" and stede lets out this massive sigh of relief to which ed says ?????

so like, okay, ed's a vampire but he's like, single. right? so. nbd. ed keeps waiting for stede to freak out but, honestly? it's stede. this is fucking weird but it's HIM. so now that weirdness is out of the way, they have this INTENSE UST. like. everyone around them can't even look at them, they want to fuck each other so bad. ed's best friend izzy's about to have a rage stroke despite also being a vampire. and eventually stede's like. so. are we like. just not going to have sex. that's fine!! i'd just like to know

ed's all ??? stede i could LITERALLY kill you, i thought that would be enough of a deterrent. but stede TRUSTS him. and ed wants him BAD. so they try

stede comes out of it covered in bruises of course, and ed is HORRIFIED. but stede tells him that he's a grown fucking man and can make his own choices and ed's not going to decide for him what he wants. so then there's maybe another week where they're sort of mad at each other but stede's trying to give ed space and ed's trying not to hurt stede but like, they're the last people on earth who could ever keep their hands off each other long term, so they have sex again. and it's hot and it's desperate and it's filthy but this time stede doesn't have bruises

oh also i know this is a twilight au but ed has fangs bc he HAS to. let's just say he has a glamour that hides them from regular people

meanwhile izzy is Big Mad and now ed's broken the Cardinal Rule of Being a Vampire (dont tell humans, and if you do, dont KEEP THEM AROUND) so he goes to the volturi about it, and ed's forced to decide between killing stede or turning him. they have a month.

and like, stede's down immediately, obviously. just turn me into a vampire, easy. this rocks. but ed, who's been a vampire for so long that he's tried multiple ways to kill himself at this point is convinced that it's a sentence worse than death. except he doesn't say it this way so stede thinks that the man he loves would rather the volturi kill him than spend forever together

but then these two idiots clear that up and ed's all "i dont want to doom you to an eternity of boredom" and stede says some gross romantic shit like "how much of a torment can immortality be if i spend it by your side?"

and then stede bcomes a vampire and he finally gets to fuck ed and they live happily ever after, the end

#scarrlet answers

[lesbianyosano]

Just kind of a general plot question bcs I feel like I’m blanking here. I know that within the story one of the huge themes are cycles of abuse (specifically among the port mafia characters) like the whole mori-> dazai -> akutagawa-> kyouka(?) situation but for the life of me I can’t remember what exactly the dazai mori catalyst beginning of the cycle event was. Obviously odas death was the big betrayal of trust that broke dazai away from the mafia, and there was that whole killing the former pm leader deal(was that it though??) because Ik fandom has a tendency of portraying mori as this cartoonishly evil abuser when he’s more complex then that (even if I don’t personally like him lol) but I feel like I’m completely forgetting everything about that whole dynamic lol. I hope you have a great day!

honestly i dont think there really exists a catalyst like that. i think the discussion about mori and dazai's relationship tends to get really weird bc it's always treated as a singular abusive situation between the 2 of them, completely taken out of context. as in, "mori's an abusive creep and everyone around him actually hates him for it", with disregard for the context of his interactions with dazai.

they are both mafia members, their relationship cannot be a healthy and supportive one specifically because of that. mori's manipulation and grooming isn't out of place, it's what funtioning in that system requires of him, the same way it's what was later required of dazai with akutagawa. it's less about mori being someone who's personally irredeemable and more that mafia needs to continually raise its new members to continue to exist, the abuse is systematic and will never cease to be treated as a tool as long as the organization is still in place. i'd argue it's the reason why beast mori manages to change and become a much more sympathetic version of himself. his relationship with yosano is similar, the abuse takes place because the military allows it. obviously mori is still very much complicit, but his utalitarian approach can only go so far due to the lack of institutional response

and i think this perception of abuse as something that only exists, and is perpetrated on, on a personal level is also what leads to this weird mischaracterization of mori's relationship with chuuya and kouyou. you see this in fanfics a lot, when they both secretly hate him because he's a pedo and abused dazai, which is absolute bullshit. they don't hate him, they seem to enjoy spending time with him even when they don't need to. they are both extremely loyal and strive to keep as him the pm boss, neither ever raises concerns to how he treats dazai, and elise also never gets commented on. fundamentally, they are no better than him. they are a part of this same organisation and it is in their interest to keep the power structure as it is. kouyou tries to groom and manipulate kyouka, projecting onto her, similarly how mori does with dazai. chuuya talks about wanting q dead (despite the weirdly popular hc that they're close and familiar). and im not saying this because i think anyone should hate them, or that people need to love mori all of a sudden, but because ignoring this flattens all of them as characters. they are meant to be bad people, in huge part because they choose to be (they could all leave the mafia the way dazai did lmao)

mori (i think) gets the most hate also because of his perceived sexual deviancy. you see this a lot, where people will make non stop jokes about characters being murderers/war criminals and how it's actually fun and cool (it is), but the moment the crimes go into a territory of sexual offense (sometimes real and sometimes perceived), those crimes can no longer be excused, and everything else about the character is forgotten. the lolicon gag with mori and elise is. weird yeah and it's perfectly fine to be uncomfortable with it, but as far as we know, there is nothing to indicate mori has ever sexually abused a child, the deal with elise is unclear, even if there are some questionable comments. and again, im not saying this to make him more likable or to make him less of a creep, it's just that i dont think this characterizaton leads anywhere, other than a twisted perception of like. half of the cast

sorry for going off asdgsafhdf ive been meaning to talk about this and you have unfortunately given me space to do so </3

#ask #also this has been sitting in my askbox.. im so sorry im awful at anwsering things #should i put this in the tag................................no i shan't......................................

[scoopsgf]

That previous message is so weird like "he hadn't been in her life for so long" and the 'so long' in question is about a year and a half at most since they last saw each other... even if you were to argue that it doesn't count because he left by season 3, that's still just 2.5 years? Like if we were discussing Jess and Rory meeting as adults in their 30s, by which point Rory would've clearly changed from who she was when she was in Chilton, I would understand this assessment but that isn't the case? And like you said, what that line is connected to is very important in that scene. It's pretty obvious that Jess picks up on Rory just not being happy with her current situation: living with her grandparents and having to sneak Jess INSIDE their house because she can't be open with them about having guests, being disconnected to Lorelai, not going at Yale or ANY university, being in the DAR at which even when she explained it to him she quickly tried to dodge questions the first time by saying it's "all temporary"? If Rory had like switched majors or even universities, I honestly don't think Jess would've ever even reacted this strongly because if Rory had been happy with her decision, it would've obviously been fine. But she's not, that's the point. And we keep seeing her unhappiness and depression regarding the whole situation even before Jess comes back and sees her.

Also, I have to note on this, but another recurring misinterpretation of this line is people saying that Jess was just trying to have Rory live up to some pedestal that he put her on. And he says this immediately before going away and LEAVING HER ALONE. Exactly what pedestal is Jess even having Rory on if he sees her like once a year or more (and in the revival 4 years)? It's not like he calls up to regularly check if she's living up to some ideal image he has of her 😭

god you’re absolutely right. it’s not as if a person typically does a 180 and becomes someone completely different in a year and a half, or even in two and a half years—she’s still gonna have the same core values underneath surface differences. like, they both changed of course (and im talking about their characters in s6 here because that’s when jess says “I know you better than anyone”, which I’m assuming is the moment anon was referencing): jess became calmer, less edgy, more open and vulnerable; rory became filled with self-doubt and grew listless. at the end of the day though, she’s still that hard-working girl who fought tooth and nail to get into yale and was so excited at the opportunity. jess doesn’t even have to know rory now to know how much yale meant to her, how important becoming a journalist and seeing the world and being successful was to her. none of those were phases or things subject to alteration with time—those were definite ambitions that she was adamant about working toward, so naturally jess is gonna be super concerned when he sees that she’s abandoned those goals in favor of working with the DAR and partying with logan. like you said, dropping out isn’t the same as doing something like switching a major: it was completely out of character for rory, and someone who cares about her as much as jess does is naturally gonna ask her what the hell is going on.

as for rory living up to jess’s expectations… that actually makes me wanna laugh because, as i’ve discussed multiple times, jess was the only one of rory’s boyfriends (and maybe the only person in her life at all) who didn’t have any expectations for rory whatsoever beyond wanting her to just… be herself. he didn’t want her to become some doting housewife the way dean did, and he didn’t want her to give up on her dreams to follow him across the country like logan did (or be a side-piece stowed away in a house somewhere, just sitting there waiting for him to come and go at his leisure). jess didn’t even want rory to be like him; he encouraged her love of academia even though he personally despised it, and his values were different from her own—he was a workaholic, yet he never pushed that on her; he was more cynical and he never pushed that on her either—but he respected and understood hers. that’s why all of this is so ridiculous. the bottom line is that jess does know rory, and it’s not like he was reaching by asking her what was going on (because something was wrong) so i don’t understand the complaints? especially when his concern for her and his success in life is what spurned rory to return to yale and get back on the right track? genuinely baffled that people think he was out of line when he was literally just someone who loved her expressing concern…

#asks #anon #gilmore girls #literati #defending jess mariano #i will take it upon myself to represent him as his personal defense attorney #anyway anon you have a galaxy brain and i love you for it

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Writer Interview

Tagged by @jrooc thank ya!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Only three so far! Plus art postings and I'm planning to post more in the new year

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

138,169 words which feels like a lot

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I don't have 5 total fics yet lol but their rankings are

In Your Love

Lovers' Carvings

Psychopomp

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! (usually) I try to respond when people take the time to say something nice about what I've written, because they're encouraging me to write more and I think its good to encourage people to comment/interact more

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, no, I need a certain happy ending, at least in fanfiction. Yes my childhood was unstable, how did you know?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They all have sickly sweet happy endings, refer to answer #6

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, I don't really see the appeal personally.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate per say, but just some bitching from people who can understand nuance or disagreed with my take on the relationship

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, so far I have only written it in longer form fics with context, all pretty vanilla. I've wondered for a long time why smut is such a staple of fanfiction and I think that people are frustrated with writers and directors casting aside sex as an (often) valuable part of romantic love and attraction. Like, why are you giving light to affection and communication and support but dismissing the sexual component of love with a closed door, winking and nudging the readers. Thats also a part of why RWRB was such a great movie in my opinion, it treated sex as a normal and healthy and loving part of a couples story, and fanfiction does the same thing. It all ties back into sex being viewed only through the male gaze bc bodice rippers have been doing that for years, but I digress

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! But I use a lot of really common themes and tropes so theres other fics like mine out there

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, that would be interesting.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I would love collaborating with other writers or creators here! Either writing together, making art to accopnay of fic or beta reading one another, my only real worry about getting involved is not making deadlines, my life is busy and I like to know i can work at my own pace and publish once completed so I don't leave anyone hanging

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, Gallavich. But longest running? Zutara, I'm hoping to see a renaissance there with the new series

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I think I'll be able to get everything done, sooner or later

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at coming up with cohesive and interesting plots, and I think i'm slowly becoming pretty good at getting into a characters head and writing dialouge for them

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Proofreading! Bro I will print something I've written out to review but still catch like 7 stupid mistakes when I scroll through quickly after posting that shit drives me crazy

I also want to get really really good at controlling the pace of a piece of writing, not that its a weakness per say im just not as good as I'd like to be yet

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Eh, its fine. A lot of the time I wonder who it's for though, like if you dont speak the language and just translate something through an inaccurate translator, it's not really for a fluent speaker and its not really for you

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Shameless

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I've toyed with writing a supernatural fic before. We'll see, I'm in no rush

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Psychopomp! No one else seemed to like it as much as I did but that's fine by me it was my weird little passion project :)

Share your throughs @sweetperversiongirl @stocious @mmmichyyy @vintagelacerosette

#tag game #sgt says

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

3, 16 and 20 for loving fandom asks! 😊

3. a character that fandom has helped u appreciate

wen kexing from the novels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also zzs from the novels and zzs from the show and wkx from the show but this isnt!!! about them!!!

16. a tiny detail in canon that u want more people to appreciate

we talked about this before but i really like how rise of phoenixes handles the crossdressing trope. quippe quest mentions this in their videos at some point i think; feng zhiwei is allowed to actually look like a man when she dresses up as a man, and the additional layer her crossdressing shenanigans add to the exploration of her arc that ends in her being completely stripped from all she has at the beginning (agency, autonomy, freedom, value) is all the more gutpunching. i look at her being all unrestrained (as a person) when she dresses up, moving around freely and doing what she wants (as per her nature), and then i look at who she is forced to become once the emperor finds out about it and it gets public. its honestly horrible, like a horror movie (feng zhiwei fmv horror edit?). so the maturity and nuance with which they approach and utilize it is smth i wish would be talked about more, if only because its so dear to me personally and i think everyone should talk about it all the time

,,,, ,,, actually this probably doesnt really count as a tiny detail //w// , ,, i thought of it because theyre so casual with it in canon!!! though feng zhiwei‘s ~real gender~TM is a plot point, the show doesnt really make a fuss around the crossdressing in itself (compared to how other stories usually handle it). so i thought of it as tiny and a detail even though its not really tiny, and its more the attention to detail that i would like for everyone to appreciate forever.

HERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE ANSWER: zhiwei‘s long ass hair that she takes down at the end of the forst day at the academy when sits in the window just before going to bed . everyone is talking about ning yi‘s hair but!!!! what about hers!!!!! its literally right there!!!! its such a beautiful scene, she looks so good. and i think its the only time she ever takes down her hair where we see it right? right? it doesnt happen at all at any other point :) surely :). so beautiful when u can take down your hair of your own volution in a world where taking your hair down signifies vulnerability and can unmask you as a woman! :) :):):) great scene where zhiwei is in full control of her fate and pursues her happiness and taking her hair down in the privacy of her room, with only gu nanyi to see, is such a big show of trust (in him) and faith (in her future) :) im fine why do u ask

20. your very first fandom

oh this is a mean pick!!!!!! me having like a hole in my head etc!!!!! but one of my earliest beloveds media that i could count as me entering a fandom of any kind is the donald duck franchise. dont really have a better name for it. i could call it the Mickey Mouse Franchise but that would be A Lie. mickey mouse has nothing to do with it at all! i had fan magazines and would dress up as phantomias and would spent time reading comics with my friends and brother and i would annoy literal strangers into lending me their comics if i so much as sniffed out that they had a collection at home. i also drew and wrote fanart and fanfic, though i never finished anything, my aspirations were too high for my fragile constitution also known as patience and stamina TvT. smth thats STILL a problem tbh. i cant write short stuff yet keeping it up for so long is Hard. anywhomst. i remember looking at the pictures before i learned to read and making up the story in my head so this being my first fandom might not be that far off!!!!!!

beloveds fandom asks game

#rise of phoenixes has wrecked me TvT #i watched it three times in full in direct succession after finishing it the first time #which is super unusually for me #i rewatch at the most after multiple months of not years #cryptid!!!! im making u personally responsible for dragging me back into it!!! #how dare u like it so much after i recced it to u!!!!! the world is not a nice place TvT #inbox #the mututal tag #loving fandom asks #cryptid #ask game #the rise of phoenixes #tian ya ke my beloved

[beamzar]

26th November 2023

Open entry: 20:52

I didnt write yesterday, so let me fill you in on that quickly. We woke up and went to the next town over in hopes to do some pottery painting. Sadly it has been overbooked, so that plan is being moved to after Christmas. We did stroll around the market and have tons of fun, sat down at a waterstones and chatted before we both went to mine. It was nice. She was very pretty that day. It is usual for her to be but that day especially. She put a bow in her hair. She was very gorgeous, very smily, very chatty. I havent really had such an effect on anyone ever like this. I might have but not one i can remember so clearly. It was a lovely day.

Today contrasts it significantly. I have been rotting in my room. Blinds down, door closed, clothes on my chair, with only the blinding light of my PC illuminating whats there. Left alone with only my thoughts and my sickened state. My eyes arent getting better. If anything they burn more, they sting being open. My health is deteriorating, i cant keep them open. I tried to work on my Psychology assignments but to no avail. I completed 3 out of 9 pages. Those will spring up to be 11 tomorrow.

Im a mess, i feel disgusting. My emotions are too much to bear. So much to bear and only a few cracks are spilling them out. Im loosing sight of myself as a person honestly, ive been focusing so much on the outside, on everyone else, to try slow time down, to try make things feel more real. To no avail, its not working well, and now i dont know who i am anymore. And when i do try to look for myself i dont see what i am. My dysphoria is back, more and more i feel disgusted with my physical self, aswell as how i speak. I hate feeling feminine. I thought i could make myself like it, i did. At the start of college i tried being more feminine, i tried embracing it, i tried reassuring myself that simple androgyny is fine and what i am, simply to discard the matter that i will never be a guy. People will never see me as a guy, not even the ones im close with. No offence but i see it to be true, i do not mind, its simple reality.

I give myself the hope that soon, hormonal treatment will fix that. But in reality, i cant even have that. Im weighed down between the bond i have with my family. They would never accept me, they can never fathom the sight of me knowing that i am what i am. That scares me. I dont want them to hate me, but im afraid of what i will do if i keep hating myself like this.

I didnt do much today. I ate, played, chatted.

I spoke to my friend of 15yrs. She had nice stories to tell, i love talking to her. Theres a reason why weve been friends for so long.

Ill be resorting to old habits and going into school early to do work right before class. I might rethink this decision, might not. Might regret it, might not. Im thinking of going home early tomorrow to finish what i started from my psychology work. Ill have to have something to show my teacher on tuesday. She wont ask but ill feel guilty if i dont. I want to stay in her class.

Thats it, goodnight.

Close entry: 21:14

[weebsinstash]

Consider reading Steel Under Silk and The Ghost's Nocturne. Both are BL manhwa. Both are kinda similar to Painter of the Night (on the pairing being a Huge Strong Guy With Issues and a Massive Dick X Petite Man) and yet completeley different. Both have noncon. Both are available on bato. to! Steel Under Silk is legit so good, I dont even wanna pitch it to you. The ML is *MWHAH* chefs kiss. You just have to read it and see for yourself. The art style on both are TOP TIER.

Man so like I was kind of indulging in this conversation with someone else earlier but, you know how there was like that cultural movement in like the 2000s onward where a lot of young women were uncritically consuming yaoi content and yeah there were definitely a lot of people being homophobic and fetishistic about it (legit I think the whole "yaoi is fine but yuri is gross" that was common for a lot of young girls was just internalized misogyny bc I was one of those kids and now I'm literally a queer person with a gender identity of Girl But Also Who Gives a Fuck) but like at the core of it it was younger folks being completely unbothered by queer media and even seeking it out, and then there was this reverse whiplash of "oh no only gay men can read these, if you read these you are gross/homophobic/racist" and it's like. I literally turned 26 the other week and even sometimes when im in YouTube shorts watching manhwa clips (believe it or not this can actually be a really good way to find more stories, some people make very high quality edits or clip and the algorithm will just eventually feed you manhwa shit nonstop) and whenever a BL story comes up, there's like, a sense of shame in my heart, like I gotta look away? "Like oh, better avoid that, consuming this media with gay men in it surely makes me fetishistic and creepy" and it's like, the queer community has not clawed its way to having some rights for us to pull this kinds inter-group othering like this 🤦‍♀️ im a fucking adult and im going to read these stories where dudes are gonna fuck and it doesn't mean a damn thing besides me wanting to see people getting Freak Nasty

But anyways yeah I will definitely add those to my recommended 👀 I think one thing I've been having to watch out for is that I will see a series and then I'll read the comments and it might be something like "dont read this, its extremely unhappy, the mc suffers constantly and the ending is sad" and its like. Yeah I like dark content but I have to be careful when it comes to stories that are kind of just straight up tragedy porn? Idk. Like. When I write dark content its kind of contained into like a one-shot or a story with a few chapters, it isn't extremely drawn out to the extent ive seen with a lot of manhwa. I had my eyes on "Broken Promise: Married Man" or whatever the fuck its called bwcause it looked like it had some kinky stuff in it and then I look into it a little and almost everyone was saying "oh no dude don't read this unless you have a strong heart, bad shit CONSTANTLY happens, this man SUFFERS"

Idk its just, sometimes it can be hard to find my personal limits with that kind of thing 🥺 I don't think I've ever dropped anything for messing me up or anything but there are times I've read fanfictions and it made me like depressed the whole day 😅 the hunt for good stories constantly continues!

Also. It isn't a BL but ive heard Finding Camelia is good? It's a manhwa about a girl who is forced to live as a boy because she's the only heir to her family or something and she has to go through a journey of self growth and learn to feel good as herself and a girl again? I dunno, i don't know many details about it but ive seen a lot of people recommend it. Honestly I'm trying not to start too many stories at once but like I can't stop, I find a good story, start reading, oh wait it isn't complete, better find a another story, oh wait it isn't complete, wash rinse repeat ykwim

[lindszeppelin]

Clearly you’re getting to a few folks so congrats there — not that it’s your goal because, as you repeatedly point out, this is your blog and you can say whatever tf you want and nobody has to read it.

Re the K&A eras tour spectacle… I’m gonna throw in my 2cents.

At this point I feel like about 80-90% of what I see screams PR setup with those two. But I’ll be completely blunt and say I don’t really know wtf I’m looking at. Isn’t that kind of the point? We are on the outside looking in so we don’t know what actually goes on between these two. We don’t know and we may never know — unless one of them spills the tea and that’s no doubt forbidden in such arrangements.

I have a feeling that when all this started it seemed like a fine idea for both of them. Austin probably very much needed to have someone around who could handle herself on a red carpet and wasn’t expecting a lifetime commitment (in that case, youth a definite plus). I believe they are both avid readers, they have fame and celebrity in common, they understand themselves as commodities of the entertainment industry, they both travel for work, etc. My point is they would have enough shared interests and work experiences to get along nicely, and even genuinely date.

Now, I ask you, how is a 20-year-old NOT going to fall in love with him in these circumstances? We’re all gaga over him and we’ve never even gotten to hold his hand, talk to him, sit next to him, or *gasp* kiss him. Austin isn’t an asshole (by EVERYONE’s account at this point except V), so I think he’s not going to be disrespectful or cold or rude or even withhold affection from her, cameras or not.

Even if this was always a “real” relationship, it could only ever be a rebound (from both V and Elvis). Because he had just painfully ended a NINE YEAR relationship and was coming down off the most intense acting gig of his life and rushing headlong into film promotion.

But the fact that he may have benefitted from the lack of challenge and longevity of an arranged situation at that time is exactly what may be so bothersome now. How can someone as young and privileged as K provide the kind of supportive partnership that a man of substance would require? He’s been through so much more than she has. I don’t mean to suggest that famous young people don’t have pain and hardship, too. But the difference in what he has endured and what she has endured is stark.

He’s a kind human, and he can no doubt truly enjoy witnessing a bunch of people have an absolute blast at the TS concert. Despite the few moments of PDA, he looked a lot more like a big brother escorting lil sis to the concert than he looked like a man swooning over his love. And anyone who has seen a few extremely vivid photos of him and V knows that K&A simply do not click on even remotely the same level. So however it started, whatever it is, it really seems to have a limited shelf life.

Bottom line: I have no idea because I’m not either one of them and it isn’t my life, or my business. In my case the only reason I’m even thinking about them this much is because there are things in my own life I am currently desperate to avoid. That’s okay, that’s kind of a great advantage of being a fan, but I feel like a lot of people do not know how to make that distinction. That’s okay too but when you come into anon asks and insult people, you’re fucked up.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

honestly MJ my darling, im just trying to blog normal stuff in between all these asks and it seems like its never ending lol idk how this ended up spiraling the way it did but well, here we are. since you took the time to send me a well thought out ask, im going to give you a well thought out response and let that be it for tonight haha

i don't know if i would necessarily say that the point is for it to be grey area. i think personally when it comes to a relationship you're either with somebody or you're not. you're either in love with somebody or you're not. there are nuances to each of those sides on the spectrum, but generally you will know without hesitation or doubt what you're looking at. and because they keep it teetering on grey area of "are they or are they not PR?" then that is deceptive. in my opinion. the idea in PR is to keep them in the media's eye whenever often.

i absolutely agree that in the beginning austin probably was onboard with the set of facts that he was given. i mean, how can you truly know somebody that you're with and know if you're going to like them long term when he was presented with the choice? he probably thought it wasn't a horrible deal - she gets press from being seen with the new it guy and breaks into the acting world like she wants, and he gets a girl on his arm for the red carpet stuff. she probably seemed unassuming, and i highly doubt he did not know anything about the crawford/gerbers. like i said, over the period of time you start to see for real who these people are and who you're dealing with. he might have been cool in the beginning to be in the PR thing, but then as time went on and he's spending time with her and her family then the gears start forming. and the "oh shit, im in a bind here" starts to crop up.

and yes you're right, what young person wouldn't want to be in that deal? she dates the hot new guy on the block and gets press from it, then moves on to the next. cookie cutter process. austin was only in genuine relationships, how the hell would he know that this would turn out to be a disaster (or ZIZZASTER as grandma lois would say). austin is a very nice guy, and to your point exactly, he would not be outright rude to her. does he walk away from her, wear a mask and disguise around her, and other such things he does as his own form of acting out? yes, i think it's safe to say that austin doing what he can to distance himself from her in a respectful way is his way of saying "i do not agree with this, nor do i want to be here".

you are also correct with this point - how can a young girl like her know how to provide and support a grown ass man of his caliber? she doesn't, simply. she has never dated anybody like austin before, and she is simply not experienced enough in life to know how to do that yet.

and big bro escorting little sis is right. i also saw it as he looked like her bodyguard hanging around while she does her thing lol. or babysitting gig. he is so sweet and lovely, i just want the best for him and it's clear you and so many others do as well. im so glad you took the time to message me MJ! I always value your incredible and thoughtful insights!

#i want more MJ Ted Talks lol

[haleigh-sloth]

the fandom backlash on spoiler nights always envokes more emotion in me than the actual spoilers do :( like when I saw the spoilers I was so excited, but now I see everyone arguing and hating on my favs and it just sucks. Unfortunately this fandom is notorious for people being so emotionally attached to their favs they just ignore whether something is good writing or not. I get it, bakugou is cool and now he’s being tortured, but the main takeaway from the chapter shouldn’t just be “shigaraki sucks” or “Bakugou deserved it”. Why cant we collectively enjoy the chapter for what it actually is. This just pains me so much

Okay but like—can I be completely honest and say that genuinely worrying for Bakugo is a complete waste of energy?

I don’t know how to explain this but….people need to understand what kind of manga this is. Bakugo is 100%, without a doubt, going to be fine, get a happy ending, get more cool moments, etc. So when I see people despairing over characters like him, I eye roll so hard it’s not even funny. I love Bakugo—one of my favorites—but literally of this stuff happening to him right now, I’m just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever. Okay, cool. Im enjoying him getting roughed up because I’m excited to see how it develops him later. It’s part of the story.

You’re right—the point of this chapter is not to hate Shigaraki or cheer him on for what he’s doing, nor is it to despair over Bakugo and worry about what’ll happen to him. Neither of those is the case.

This chapter has a lot of important wording in it, from beginning to end starting with what Shigaraki is saying to Bakugo in the opening panel down to what Mirio is saying to Shigaraki, and finally Bakugo’s quirk awakening. Everything in it is extremely important for several character arcs, many who aren’t even present.

If anybody read this chapter and their takeaway was “Omg Shigaraki better not kill Bakugo god I hate him for hurting Bakugo >:(“ then like….idk. Idk how you can enjoy this manga with that mindset.

Shigaraki is MY favorite, and I’m not cheering him on for this (I mean, he looks good, and I’ve made several jokes about being jelly of Bakugo lmao)—but I’m not saying “Yeah this is good that he’s doing this because he my favorite and I support everything he does and nothing bad should happen to him ever!” How boring of a story would that be if that’s how Hori treated Shig AND Bakugo both, Jesus. Shigaraki probably suffers more than anybody in this manga and I’m enjoying it. Only because I’m fully confident that the payoff at the end will be worth it.

So despairing over stupid stuff like this—TWO WEEKS IN A ROW—is…exhausting to see and I honestly don’t know how people do it.

With that being said—block haters and people who make posts that annoy you. Just, filter your dash to be what you want it to be. Personally I don’t follow the spoilers tag because almost everyone on this site but a very small handful of blogs annoys the shit out of me. So here I am with a boring dash lol.

#hello I am a passenger on my trip again so I am back online #bnha #boku no hero academia #anonymous #bnha asks #bnha spoilers #shigaraki tomura #Bakugo katsuki #bnha 360

[cherrykamado]

Hi, first off I wanna say that I read your rules and I'm not sure if you don't want someone like me interacting but my age is in the link to my masterlist. But feel free to block me if you want, I won't be offended lol.

I know we don't really know each other so sorry if I say something that upsets you somehow.

This might be kinda long, sorry heh. It's kind of a rant too but I really needed to get this off my chest..

But thank you very much for that survey about the lack of interaction on Tumblr. The results from it and the discussions from you and other people has really opened my eyes about this place and just being a writer on the internet in general.

It made me really sad once I realized if I just stopped posting or left, people would most definitely just move on since there are plenty of other content to consume out there.

It's honestly making me think about switching careers from writing to art 💀

Idk if things will change no matter how much I beg for interaction and honestly, things might not ever get better/change.

I normally tend to think about my readers first. Of course I write for myself too but sharing my content with other people is part of the joy and happiness...

Whenever I'm writing the next chapter of my story, or just anything really, I get butterflies and my stomach churns with excitement about how my readers will react to it.

But once I post it and receive nothing, all that work and effort and energy just feels wasted. It makes me wonder if people are actually reading my stuff or enjoying it at all.

The thousand likes feel empty and meaningless after a while at this point.

I wonder if one of the other reasons readers don't wanna comment is because the writer might not reply to it and it feels like...there was no point in commenting? Idk, but I do try my best to reply to almost everyone's comment. It's just sometimes idk how to respond but I always read each reply left by someone 😔

Now, I'm one of those people who write a lot more than read on Tumblr and I do have a separate blog for reblogs but I only reblog the content that I personally loved and actually read.

And I think that's reasonable. I won't be able to consume all the content I find on here and I definitely won't enjoy all of them either. Just cause of personal preference.

However, I am kinda guilty when it comes to not commenting on other people's works. I always do a full dive on their blog to make sure I don't accidentally piss them off by interacting 😅

I need to do a better job at commenting though, I do.

Being a writer is tough. I want to delete my blog and never write again. But I love writing too much to abandon..

I'm currently on a break right now but I remembered your survey and I was like "oh right, I wanted to see the results."

So I logged back on just for you heh <3

But I'm still on break despite being here for this brief moment lol.

I still want to write but I'm not getting the feedback I need on Tumblr. Wattpad sucks and there a lot of minors there so that's kind of a no...AO3 might be the next best option but other than those places, I don't know where else to go. And it feels like my writing days are already over.

I can't write anymore without being sad these days so I'm going to mull it over during my break.

Hope you're doing okay during these tough times ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ♥︎ take care

HI HUN OFC NOT !! it's totally okay n i'm glad you're telling me what you think !! and also sobs u logged back on for me??? im so honored 🥺🥺

look, it's completely valid. what you feel is SUPER valid. it's not wrong to want attention for what you do, because even if you're writing for yourself, you share with others whom you know are going to like the same as you. and one seeks validation (i do seek validation!) and it's completely fine. it's not wrong at all to want it !! besides, you're posting something that took you hours, days, effort. and when that's not well appreciated it tends to hurt. it does.

and look i'm not perfect either !! ofc there might be some things i need to get better at, i need to reblog more and try to be better at giving feedback. i think that —and this is also something quite a number of ppl came up with in the survey— it's important to support each other amongst writers. yeah, we're not entitled, but since we like and appreciate when someone reblogs/comments/leaves some kind of feedback, i believe it's important we do it in return too!

there's a point i cannot stress enough and it's something i'm sure tons of writers in here struggle with, and that is the amount of interaction does not make you a better/worse writer, and certainly doesn't determine how talented you are.

surely, lack of interaction makes it hard to get it in mind, and it's discouraging overall, but i really do hope you realize you're talented regardless the amount of notes you get. and i really hope one day you can go back to writing again — for yourself. even if you don't post it. as long as it makes you happy.

i hug you tight tight and send u tons of love hunny<3<3

#🍒 — mail #lovesickwriter<3 #IM SUPER SORRY THIS TOOK ME AGES TO GET TO #ALSO I realized you also go by cherry !! dnsfjadngk I LOVE<3

[zevranunderstander]

Sorry to bridgerton-post on here but like? One thing i find funny is that season 1 fucking sucked and because of that they don't really know what to *do* with daphne in season 2 bc her personality is super underdeveloped but people would have also noticed if they tried to add complexity to her *after* she was the main character of season 1, so they make her appear very rarely and be involved in some plot points some other character also could have done, just to include her. like im not saying its a bad decision, i even think its a pretty good decision, but it's so funny because if you would only show someone season 2 and then tell them daphne was the main character of season 1 i don't think anyone would believe it, because?? compared to even side-characters like penelope and lady featherington she is COMPLETELY one-dimensional.

and it's so great to me because penelope and mrs featherington both at first seem to be fulfilling a very specific trope. so like, you THINK they are some one-dimensional side characters that just serve the narrative in some purpose, but as you look at them act and develop, you realize that they are way more complex and three-dimensional than that.

Like penelope at first appears to be the "chubby best friend that is in love with someone who would never see her as more than a friend" trope and who is kind and cheerful and never really has her own storyline. But if you look at her, she's actually this caring, but ultimately very selfish person who often chooses her own good over that of people she deeply cares about and still pretends like she wasn't the one brutally ruining someone's life, and she gets so much agency and makes mistakes and you still feel for her and hope everything will turn out well for her.

And Lady Featherington starts as this really unlikeable evil stepmother of three daughters who aren't generally seen as very desirable and who tries to sabotage everyone around her. And while she at first actually kind of *is* the evil stepmother trope, she develops into someone who has to fight so much adversity to just *stay* where she is in society as she loses more and more of the grip she once had in said society. she just makes sense as a character & isnt any trope that she might appear to be when introduced. She knows her daughers are hard to "marry off", but she still isn't cruel to them about it, she does most of what she does for her daughters and for her own survival and you honestly are rooting of her to somehow come out on top at the end, despite watching her do a lot of pretty immoral shit.

And then you have daphne who has like 5 character traits: 1) she is a perfect lady who knows all ettiquette and is super polite and always knows what to say, 2) she wants children and wants to fill societies ideal of an upperclass wife, 3) she is generally very sheltered and doesn't know much that isn't part of her upbringing, 4) she sometimes says sentences like "you don't know what it's like to be a woman", no one knows what she means bc she WANTS to be sll of societies exectations and even ridicules her sister who doesn't want that, 5) she sometimes develops "schemes" which usually make no sense (and that one time include actual martial rape). like, that's really all there is to say about her, the narrative sometimes just excuses her actions and she never even has to learn a lesson or develop or do anything or really is challenged in her behaviour. And of those character traits, in season 2 you only really see her being a very fine lady who organizes balls and makes polite conversation and has a side-quest to talk to her brother about true love from time to time.

Like these two side-characters are just 1000x more complex and real and relatable than daphne EVER was and tbh whenever i see her on screen it's like i see a ghost of a way worse show quickly poking her head in to remind you that yes, this is the same show.

#i have some beef with the show prentending mrs featheringtons daugher are ugly but yk yk #myposts #bridgerton #i found this in my drafts this post is a bit older #this is a daphne hate club tho

[apopcornkernel]

hello,,,,,,, song rationale under the cut because im very extremely normal about them

GUSTO WITH YA by DENȲ

I know I'm independent but I think I need ya Kayang mag-isa pero mas gusto with ya (I'm fine alone but I would rather be with ya) Parang mababaliw when I don't get to see ya (I feel like I'm losing my mind when I don't get to see ya) Sanay nang 'di umasa but ang gusto is ya (I'm used to not hoping for more but what I want is ya)

i've said this countless times but im so so obsessed with how much dinahbabs depend on each other and how babs literally called dinah for a mission in one of her lowest points and especially parang mababaliw when i don't get to see ya in the context of control freak babs like oh....

Gusto ka lang makasama kahit na abot umaga (I just want to be with you even 'til the morning) 'Di mawawalan ng gana, ikaw lang ang nakikita (Can't possibly lose any eagerness, you're the only thing I see) My definition of vision, no, I ain't into submission But that can still be your mission, forgettin' all my cautions

do i have to elaborate

Sanay nang mag-isa, pero mas sasaya Kung lagi kang makakasama (I'm used to being alone, but I'll be even happier If I'm able to always be with you)

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 yeah.

CAPABLE OF LOVE by PINKPANTHERESS

Right now I think you're the cause of my grief And I haven't slept well for a week You are somebody that I want to keep But you said, "It's not deep," and to that answer, I weep

loser babs is something i cherish so deeply like if anything the coffee sleep deprived fanon stereotype shouldve gone to HER and not tim!!!!

i think ALL the time about the post that's like "i am so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend i'm serious" AND I THINK THAT . gestures at green arrow. gestures at dc who mostly pushes dinahollie and is also too much of a coward to ever outright queer a character as big as black canary (begging dc to prove me wrong btw). gestures back at babs

It's weird how people still think it's pretend The bond between us doesn't end But they don't know the long distance we went The one that we'll put behind us Now that we're more than friends

you know all those fucking panels where either other ppl are like "wait girlfriend as in...?" or that one where one of them was like "haha stop that they'll think we're an item 😝😝😝" yeah.

I always wondered if we passed on the street And I still never asked you yet to meet But there's no other place I'd want to be Than sat here replying to someone on a screen

PRE-REVEAL DINAHBABS MY ABSOLUTE BELOVEDHSJHKJFHKHGKSKLDJFLKSD god guys you know how much of a SUCKER i am for identity shenanigans.... the proper reveal in the hunt for oracle was amazing, dont get me wrong, but it would have also been amazing to keep the identity stuff going aughhh

And I think I need a picture 'cause it's never enough To see you smilin' in my mind when I lie still in the dark It starts with you-ooh Starts with you-ooh

pre!!!!!!!!!! reveal!!!!!!!!!!! dinahbabs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you read everything you're supposed to? (Three little words, dedicate them to me) I'm wastin' away I feel so cold (Please make them personal then say them to me) I got a confession, I've never given up (My focus is everywhere, I'm not listenin') I just need to know if you're capable of love (I got a readin' on my palm just to see)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE CHAIN by FLEETWOOD MAC

okay honestly i don't think i have to explain this one too much because no homoerotic relationship with partners closer than life is complete without the chain by fleetwood mac

SAY I'M UR LUV by UMI

for this one it's mostly vibes but this part of the chorus is also very!!!

If you talk to me really nice, you could be the pilot, you could be the boss With my top down, city ride, where we going? I Never need to know So we could dance, you could spend the night Tell a pretty lie and I could say I'm your love

dc comics hire me i will write a birds of prey oneshot where babs is on the field with dinah for a recon mission and their cover is that they're together. and also they will almost get caught snooping but then kiss me, quick! and they can't seem to stop once they've started but then alarms blare somewhere else in the sprawling manor and they stare at each other hair mussed and lips swollen and "so." "yes." "we should go." "we should." and they pick their wits up back from the floor and save the day and get the baddies jailed and they will never ever acknowledge this moment ever again in their lifes. except maybe to take out the memory in the stillness of the night and turn it over in their hands, chest tight with everything they will never say, can never say

HURRICANE DRUNK by FLORENCE + THE MACHINE

the whole plot of this song is about getting wasted bc u saw the person ur deeply irretrievably in love with in the arms of someone else. do i have to even elaborate. i am so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious

VILLAINS OF CIRCUMSTANCE by QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

I miss you now, what's come over me? We're hostages of geography The wait is long and heavy too Despite what you're accustomed to

LDR dinahbabs amen

I know life moves on, that's what scares me so Have no intentions of letting go Only us, no one in the world Only us, no one in the world

loving birds of prey additional characters of course but the original duo will forever hold a special place in my heart and in my delusional little head i think dinah and babs think of it sometimes too. in particular i think of that panel in bop #61 where babs said she was thinking of bringing helena in permanently and dinah started making objections 😶👉👈

I'd better do something, move earth and sky And patiently, sweetly, with all of my might I sing only for you, to the beat of my footsteps in the night

the beautiful thing about dinahbabs on the field is how despite the fact that babs rarely goes out herself, she's still able to rescue dinah always,,, the way she will literally call all sorts of favors just to get her out of danger,,,, it does something to me

WALK BACKWARDS by MAUDE LATOUR

I guess I'll never understand The line between our love and romance 'Cause when I look at you I Fall right into a dream Under galaxies in the middle of the city in New York So, I say thanks to an unknown force

im sorry but i dont think dinahbabs should ever be together. i need, no i REQUIRE them to be in the most horrendous situationship to ever ever exist. actually this is already canon in the bop in my head

Me and my friends do whatever we want And by friends I really only mean one in particular And that's you

i know they have lives and loved ones outside of each other but hear me out: what if they didnt

IM SORRY LMAO JFHDJDFHGKJD i'm just a hugeee sucker for those really unhealthy codependent relationships

Mmm, your hair's untied And it's only just about a quarter to nine You live east, so I walk backwards Sun's slippin' south on the west-side And we still got the rest of the night You live east, so I walk backwards babe

on twitter the artist explained this lyric as such: “In the summer I have a promise to see every sunset. But I live on the east side … and the sun sets in the west. So to get home I have to walk backwards to watch the sun slip… It’s about that perfect summer feeling”

and i think this kind of caught-breath soft summer moment is sosososo them like all the quiet longing buried under everything and everything..... and the laughter and the smiles and the setting sun warm and gentle on your face.........

I know your boyfriend's mad Watch you grabbin' my hand all day So, I just play it cool

do i even have to say it!

SYNERGY by UMI

When I move and I ain't thinking It's natural when you walk in (Yeah) Feel you, honey (Yeah)

+

Theory of relativity I feel your gravity I couldn't let myself believe I told myself to breathe

dinahbabs magnetism and unconsciously gravitating to each other in every room yep yep!!!!

COME OVER by CARLY RAE JEPSEN

'Cause you do something to my patience I can't hardly wait

hgjdhgjkjhfgjkhdjgsh hey .

Come over, come over, I'm ready to see you Whatever you're schemin', I'm already dreamin' Come over, come over and don't keep me waitin' Got nothin' on my mind but the two of us

whatever you're schemin i;m already dreamin. GOD. DINAHBABS

After hours, there's a space for you in heaven Picnic on the floor by a warm fireplace Up to now, there were tens, but you're eleven Let me show you how you fit right into place

GKDFSJGHJFHKSJHKGHDFGSLDKFGHSDLFKJHDKJFGHSDKJHKDJHDKJFHGKSJDFHJKFH i'm sorry i'm not coherent but DINAHBABS also the last 2 lines,,, i can't help but think about that side story in bop secret files where babs was literally going through and discarding female superheroes for the honey trap mission in black canary/oracle: bop until she finally settled on dinah as the perfect candidate THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE

DINNER & DIATRIBES by HOZIER

Honey, this club here is stuck up Dinner and diatribes I knew well from our first hookup The look of mischief in your eyes

oh god thinking again about that hypothetical bop comic i would write where they both go out on the field for recon and their cover is being a couple at a fancy eventkdfghdgjkghfdjgl

Your friends are a fate that befell me Hell is the talkin' type I’d suffer hell if you'd tell me What you'd do to me tonight

hey;h.,lghjglmdfhkjgsdfvb,m//gn../l

yeah.

Scarcely can speak for my thinkin' What you'd do to me tonight Now that the evenin’ is slowin’ Now that the end's in sight Honey, it’s easier knowin' What you'd do to me tonight

YEAH.

Tell me, tell me, tell your man, ah

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is all. sorry to end with a whimper instead of a bang. also! midway throughout this post i realized i would do anything for someone to call dinah oracle's attack dog 😁

#dinahbabs #birds of prey #barbara gordon #dinah lance #dc #poppy speaks #dcposting

[firelordhotman]

we talk a lot about how mental and physical disabilities are different lived experiences and just having one doesnt mean you understand the other

Autism and schizophrenic spectrum are different lived experiences and just having one does not mean you understand the other — signed, an autistic schizo who's met under-understanding from both. Being an upper limb amputee and having digestive disabilities are different lived experiences and just having one does not mean you understand the other.

There is no line between the brain and the rest of the body unless you put the exact same line between *all* disabilities. It only serves to enable ableism from both "mental" to "physical" and "physical" to "mental". Many people have talked about being directly harmed by that divide. For many people that divide is literally nonexistent within their lived experience. I had a post that was talking directly, though not explicitly, about my experience with "both", reblogged by physdis separatist blogs; that one part is of the least importance in this ask, just felt like mentioning.

My most disabling things are chronic migraines and ADHD. It doesn't matter whether I cannot do something because of one or the other, or any of my other disabilities — ultimately, I cannot do it.

listen mate.

im gonna be blunt here: i dont know you and i dont care about your life story. if my post about my lived experiences didnt speak to you then thats fine, just scroll. my post is for people who do relate to it, who find that their mental and physical disabilities are separate yet related, and who want to see that specific experience acknowledged. if you dont relate to wanting to see that specific duality highlighted, the post simply is not for you. im assuming the point of this ask was to criticize me for being a “”physdis separatist”” (if thats what were calling it now), but honestly its actually hard to tell since its buried in your entire life story that, once again, i do not care even a little bit about. thats not me being rude, thats just me being a complete and utter stranger who does not know you or care deeply about your opinion. sorry.

you say "There is no line between the brain and the rest of the body unless you put the exact same line between all disabilities." guess what? i DO put that line between ALL disabilities! ive talked before about how adhd is different than anxiety is different than autism is different than a personality disorder; chronic fatigue is different than chronic pain is different than paralysis is different than amputation, etc- none of them are inherently automatically "better" or "worse" than the other, just DIFFERENT. one of my most reblogged posts is about that. however i find it EXTREMELY telling that people only ever get mad at me when i point out the difference between mental and physical disabilities. extremely. because for me and many other people, our mental and physical disabilities are separate! good for you that you and other people experience something different, but that doesnt mean that me and the people reblogging my post are wrong for experiencing our disabilities in a way thats different than how you do.

so again, i really dont understand what your point is here? i agree that different disabilities affect people differently, that they can be intertwined in a way that makes them almost indistinguishable- that was .... kind of literally the point of the post youre getting mad at me for. its cool if you want to see more acknowledgement for people who have no divide between their disabilities- its awesome actually! you should make the post! hell, id reblog it!! but my post is not about the experience of having your mental and physical disabilities entirely inseparable. my post is about the experience of living with several disabilities that feel simultaneously completely unrelated and entwined. my post is about MY specific lived experience, and the lived experience of everyone else who relates to it. if thats not you, thats literally fine. you dont have to go sending angry asks explaining your own lived experience to every random poster who says something that doesnt speak to you. cause the truth is unless theyre already your mutual or a friend, they simply will not care. making your own posts is easy and free. not leaving long messages in the askboxes of utterly random strangers who make posts you dont relate to online and who ultimately dont give a shit about whatever you have to say anyway is also easy and free. sorry again, im not trying to be rude here, just honest. because i do not know you and i do not care what your lived experience is and i do not have to care just because you decided i need to.

i hope you have a good day.

#dyspunktional-revan