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#but holy shit look at this guy
hailsatanacab · 4 months
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Family Dinners - dpxdc
"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.
The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.
"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.
"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.
"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."
Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.
Ancients, that's so weird!
The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.
Wait. Family dinners?
He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.
"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.
"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.
From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.
"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"
"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"
"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."
"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."
The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.
Come on, Danny, recover!
"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."
"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?
"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."
"Costume? What do you mean?"
Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.
"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!
"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.
"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.
His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.
"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.
Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"
"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"
"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."
"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.
It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.
It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.
Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.
"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."
Once again, the whole table falls into silence.
"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"
"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"
"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."
Danny's grin freezes in place.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."
"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"
Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.
"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.
"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."
An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.
"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.
"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."
"What did happen?"
"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."
"How long in the future was it?"
"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.
Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"
"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."
"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."
"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"
"What?"
"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."
Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.
"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.
"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."
"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"
"Damian, stop—"
"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."
"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."
"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.
"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."
"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."
"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."
"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."
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I'm so sorry you're hurting yourself like this. You're clearly an autistic young woman. I hope you get the help you need ❤️
thank you so much!! i really needed this encouragement. it means so much to hear you call me a woman, especially since im a cisgender male.
i will get the help i need! ill look into hormone replacement therapy and become the beautiful autistic young woman you see inside me!!
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b4kuch1n · 2 months
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simulated earth (it does not matter)
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#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#podlock#comic#sherlock holmes#john watson#victor trevor#ft. archie (in like three panels lmao)#need to figure out a podlock specific tag for these guys so this doesnt clutter up the main sh tags#bc ohhh boy. I anticipate being insane abt s&co for a While#this comic def a Hot minute post-gloria scott#what is this about exactly? you ask. haha well (there's sunlight bouncing off a window and when u look back Im already gone)#listen I caught up to everything right before gloria scott and holy Shit that case knocked me on my ass#as a chronic adhd (and thus serious memory problems) haver.... (holds sherlock tenderly)#I have not listened to SOLI yet btw I will tomorrow. I wanted to finish this before catching up#Im obsessed with them. Im such an easy idiot lmao Im a sherlock holmes adaptation enthusiast before Im a human#gloria scott.... the way it muses on the limit of the genre same as the red headed league.... what about the victims?#what about the victims. what about the victims. what part of the pain does the process of investigation cure#victor's like. he's between jobs he's between boyfriends he's living with his dad whose caretaker he just became. who does he have#and sherlock holmes is about the truth but john's been about the solution so far. I just. I really like this john watson lmao#listen the way he complains and then refuses to shoot the underlings in red headed league. based. I love him#I can fix him (radicalize him against punitive justice)#(I am refraining from talking abt sherlock in the tags here bc I Will run out of tags before Im done)#(mariana is not here but I care her too!! she will be here more often in the future I swear I fuckign swear......)#(''I'm in a co-op that's sponsoring my visa. also I just witnessed two actual dead bodies like a month ago'' you mean everything to me)#screams. I got attached SO fast this show is targeting me specifically. my broke millenials suffering in london show#I have like a number of sketches too be prepared. theyre gonna show up soon. until then#have a good day lads. be there! be there.#edit: this comic is finished and assembled in full before I listened to the solitary cyclist part one. this has been an update#I have now listened to SOLI part one. I must hit john watson with a hammer
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dogposts · 12 days
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water dogs
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abbey-abdominal · 4 months
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day three: date night
The Digital Lake freezes over in a special winter episode and it’s not romantic at all 😏😏😏 pomni does not bust her ass multiple times 😏😏😏😏 and ragatha does not find it endearing 😏😏😏😏😏 they don’t get hot cocoa after this 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏 they’re just really good friends 😏😏😏😏😏😏🤔😏😏😏😏😏
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mindstriker · 6 months
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ok so I post excessively about the wizard now but like hey: thesis statement
i find it telling that despite being a former arch-mage, and despite the whole mystra ordeal, and everything, the main "good old days" memories that gale has to share with the player are all from the distant past- mostly revolving around his childhood or time as a student. you'd think a man with his kind of experience and practice would have more interesting, more recent stories to tell, right? surely an arch-mage does interesting shit?
but he doesn't, and he didn't, because his life entirely and utterly revolved around mystra. his work? finding that piece of karsite weave to return to her, for a multitude of reasons. the overwhelming desire to prove himself to her. the want to be her equal. everything and anything else that possessed him to pursue that book. his relationships? what relationships? his friendship with Tara, or his relationship to mystra herself? there wasn't anything else, he tells you as much- no friends, no lingering names asides from elminster (another one of mystra's chosen) and just vague "coworkers". as far as we know there was literally nothing going on in this motherfuckers life asides from mystra-related stuff for who knows how long.
so instead of impressive tales of long-lost tomes he discovered, projects of his own that he dedicated time to, anything else you'd expect from a fucking insaneo-wizard who can make life-sized interactive illusions at the drop of a hat: you get nothing but a gaping hole of "this is when the accident happened" and the glimmer of a few good memories long before that time. some of the only stories from his life he seems genuinely excited and happy to tell are those childhood ones- ridiculous tales about how he summoned Tara in the first place, set shit on fire as a child, or tried to burgle an important staff as a student. those younger memories are like all he has to rely on dawg. there's nothing else there. there is literally nothing there.
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me-sploh-rada-imas · 23 days
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no words for this just help [x]
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kiingbiing · 1 year
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do NOT look at me
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theangrycomet · 7 months
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If I had a nickel for everytime Kevin Michael Richardson and Rob Paulson worked together voicing a duo of unlikely allies in an early 2000’s tv show, with Richardson’s character getting regularly beat up and his stuff ruined and Paulson’s character’s having an R name, a far more famous blue relative, and a penchant for annoying Richardson’s character by making sandwiches, I’d have two nickels.
Which isn’t a lot of nickels but it’s strange that it happened TWICE.
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smoshpostiing · 1 month
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um. just going feral.
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creatureofthegods · 3 months
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this frame. this frame this fraemen Im losing It. Look me in my eyes
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rattbones · 1 year
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☀️☁️joy boy☁️☀️
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yikes077 · 2 months
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I apologize to anyone who has found my blog in this moment, I am not a Hazbin Hotel fan account, just a normal totally cool fan. All is well.
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haemosexuality · 7 months
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why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes
#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself#but oh my godddddd#''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT#WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING#LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN#OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP#THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW#WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?????????#''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important#characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work#this is totally plausible#''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT''#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#sorry this is making me go insane a little bit.#adventure time#fionna and cake#every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the#mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again.#as a thing* that could have happened
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mumblesplash · 11 months
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do you ever end up accidentally getting super attached to a trope so specific and rare you don't even know how to look for it? 'space aliens failing to understand that a human showing teeth usually isn't a threat display' isn't even an ao3 tag. finding that shit in published fiction or tv shows is next to impossible
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maxaroniiiii · 5 months
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koopalings scribbles from the doctors office
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