#but hey it's creamed corn day!

[drvscarlett]

Let Him Cook pt5

Charles Leclerc x MasterChef! reader

A/N: I'm really so happy with all the love that you have given to this fic. I enjoy writing about it, let me know if you have any blurbs or scenarios that you wanna see. This series will continue on and on

Let Him Cook Series: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

taglist: @bookstore-of-dreams @barcelonaloverf1life @ririyulife @minseok-smaus @mehrmonga @sltwins @charlesgirl16 @six-call @spideybv28 @casperlikej @weekendlusting @janeholt3 @evie-119 @leilanixx @randomgirlnumber-13 @itsjustkhaos

lec lerc challenge

"As you all know by now, Charles is planning to launch his own ice cream store"you started talking to the camera "And you know what funny story, he didn't even tell me"

Charles, who was by your side, was laughing like a hyena. He actually wanted it to be discovered on the the first day of April so everyone might think its a prank but then he will announce that he is very serious about it. It was an elaborate prank on top of prank. However, the news sites got a hold of it earlier.

"That's another story time. We have to get down to business" Charles reeled the topic back to the video that you two are making.

"Okay so in order to test Charlie's knowledge about ice cream, I have here ice creams that I made myself" you explained.

In front of the two of you were 10 paper cups. They have been covered on top so that Charles won't get a hint about the color.

"So my main task is to identify what's the flavor of the ice cream"Charles confirms "Easy"

"I made some unconventional flavors to throw you off" you informed him.

You can't help but giggle as you remember how you made some weird flavors for the ice cream. But hey, this was supposed to be a challenge to see if Charles' taste buds are working so it doesn't necessarily have to be a delicious ice cream.

"Okay, I am ready to scream for ice cream"

The first five cups were easy peasy. It's common flavors such as chocolate, vanilla, cookies and cream, caramel, and pistachio.

"I'm good at this mon amour"

Charles is pretty confident now. Time to throw the curveballs.

"I'm excited for you to try this"you excitedly give him the cup.

Since Charles is blindfolded as he does this challenge, the first thing he does is smell it. He is usually confident upon spelling but the frown lines forming on his face suggest that he might be confused about the flavor profile.

"This feels strange. I smelled this before but I can't put my name on it"Charles notes.

He takes a scoop from the cup and tasted it. It was evident to his face that he didn't enjoy this ice cream a lot.

"That's so sour, mon amour there are definitely strawberries in that"Charles complained.

"Strawberries and?"

There was a string of italian and french word from Charles as he tries his best to identify it. Finally, he had a lightbulb moment where he remembered the taste of it.

"BALSAMICO" Charles screamed "That is not a flavor I will put in my store, definitely"

Y/NCooks posted a photo.

Y/NCooks turns out Charles is pretty good with his taste buds. Watch me test Charles with his ice cream skills [link]

User1 Atleast we know that Charles is committed to being an ice cream man

User2 Charles_Leclerc you should definitely try the bourbon and corn flakes in the menu

User 3 Highly agree, I would love to try that User4 were all acting like were so close to milan. Babes we live across the world.

LandoNorris do you have some plain ice cream left for me

Y/NCooks i have some but its good to try other flavors every now and then Lan LandoNorris mmm, i'll try that black sesame one. that seems like a good flavor Y/NCooks brilliant. message me when i can see you Charles_Leclerc im amazed how Y/N managed to convince you of different food choices

MasterChefAU is this Charles' entry to master chef blind taste test challenge?

Charles_Leclerc MasterChef Monaco soon??? User4 I'm laughing at the number of sidequest Charles has. SIR you are an f1 driver!!!

Charles the baker

Charles_Leclerc posted a photo.

Charles_Leclerc okay i did all the measurements right. WHY DID THEY EXPAND

User1 I can hear Charles screaming with the caption

User2 Charles is such a mood when I try to bake things

User3 But is it edible tho?

Charles_Leclerc it is but its not as pretty User4 this is an internet highlight wherein Charles is sulking and asking the internet where he went wrong

maxverstappen1 recipe reveal?

Charles_Leclerc no ✨✨ maxverstappen1 don't want it anyways. i just wanted to know what you did so i won't end up like that User5 MAX!!!!! User6 your honor we love the lestappen crumbs

Y/NCooks honey maybe you should consider giving it some space, bread do expand when they get baked.

Charles_Leclerc they do?? Y/NCooks Yes they do. But in all honesty they look so cute, its alright honey Charles_Leclerc love you mon amour!

SebastianVettel maybe we should have a baking session one of these days, I can teach you a lot about baking breads

Charles_Leclerc sounds good, miss you already Seb User7 oh to be Charles Leclerc having the Sebastian Vettel teaching him bread and MasterChef Y/N encouraging him

tiktok pasta challenge

It was a fairly simple tiktok viral recipe and in your mind its something that Charles will be able to follow instructions with. So you set up your camera and told Charles about a cooking challenge that he has to do.

"Today's challenge, Charles will be using his listening skills. Lets see how well he listens to me"you greeted the camera "Are you ready mon amour?"

"More than ever, I look good in an apron"

You stayed behind the camera as Charles stayed in front of the kitchen counter. He was tying up his apron and grabbing your chef hat from one of the drawers.

"First of all, I need you to quarter an onion"you instructed.

Charles was immediately grabbing the onion and you immediately face palmed yourself when Charles started quartering the onion without even peeling it.

"Honey, you are supposed to peel it" you sigh

"Honey, you didn't say anything about peeling it. We have three cameras set up and editors should replay that you said quarter it and not peel it" Charles argued

You raised your hand in defeat, you should have been more clearer.

"Okay, I'm not gonna be vague. I'll make it clear"

The whole cooking went along smoothly until its time for Charles to cook the pasta. He has been heavily stressing to get the texture right this time or else it will further the allegations that he can't cook pasta.

"Calm down Charlie"

"I am very very very calm, I'm just checking" he lifted the lid for the fifth time "They have to be perfect"

"Charles is very honored to be taught by Gordon on a 1 on 1 session"you informed the camera.

The two have exchanged numbers and Charles will often ask his culinary questions to Gordon when you were not available to answer them right away. Gordon seems to enjoy the new friendship with the driver since he often send Charles link for cooking recipe to try.

"I don't wanna be an idiot sandwhich" Charles muttered, stirring the pot of pasta.

Charles got a perfect al dente to his pasta. He pulls out the baked feta and tomatoes out of the oven then mixed it with the pasta. It seems as if the dish looks pretty especially with the garnishes that Charles insisted.

"Plating is also everything"he says to the camera as he grates some lemon zest to the plate "Whatever this taste like, just remember that Y/N was instructing me so if there is anyone to blame then its Y/N"

"Way to throw me under the bus Charles"

Y/NCooks just posted a photo

Y/NCooks The dish vs the chef. I think they are equally yummy [link]

User1 CHARLES CAN COOK!!!!

User2 alternative title charles stressing 10 minutes straight if the pasta is al dente or not

User3 The girlfriend effect on Charles is that he is now able to cook pasta

User4 I really want to try that pasta

Arthur_Leclerc i hope you never get tired of the pasta, its the only thing he will cook from now on

Charles_Leclerc i mean she loves it!!!! Y/NCooks its pretty good arthur, you should try it!! Arthur_Leclerc next family dinner? Charles_Leclerc im on it! User24 oh to be a fly at the Leclerc family dinner

User5 I think everyone ignored the caption, miss maam thirsting over her boyfriend

User6 if i was Y/N i would too Y/NCooks facts only!!! User6 Mother replied to us!!!

scuderiaferrari so charles is approved for a cooking challenge in the channel soon?

Y/NCooks he is born ready User8 kind of missed the c2 cooking challenges

everything i cooked

Charles_Leclerc posted a reel

here is everything that I did to celebrate Y/N's birthday. This isn't a common day, its really special so I have to run at 5 to get the flowers I ordered for her. Then next I cooked up breakfast which is some pancakes, thank you Carlos for the recipe. And then I surprised her with a little bit of breakfast in bed

and then I started making our lunch after clearing the table. Y/N had been craving butter chicken and I purposely did not take her so I could make some at home. Its a fairly easy recipe, I just had to mix some spices, cook the onions then you have the tomato paste and then cream. thanks Gordon I owe you one. She loved it so much.

and then I started early on the dessert for dinner. I didn't do the ladyfingers from scratch, I don't have a lot of time so yes here we are. The tiramisu is in the fridge. And then since Y/N loved the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti meatballs scene. I did my own take on it. Needless to say she loved it. So yes happy birthday once more mon amour, I love you so so much.

User10 I know we have been making fun of Charles but the man can actually cook.

User11 My boyfriend be forgetting my birthday but Charles here is slaving in the kitchen for Y/N's birthday

User12 CHARLES IS THE STANDARD!!! User14 Imagine cooking a whole breakfast, lunch, dinner, with a birthday dessert???!!! GOD I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS

MasterChefAU Im glad to hear you are treating our girl well, happy birthday Y/NCooks

User13 OUR GIRL??!!!! Y/NCooks he is treating me well, thank you for all the greetings

Gordongram That's a beautiful dish and effort Charles!

Charles_Leclerc Thank you !!! Y/NCooks he is screaming btw Gordongram

PierreGasly when will you cook for me

CarlosSainz55 and me?? i think there is some former teammate privileges out here LewisHamilton the current teammate is also wondering SebastianVettel you boys are not Y/N. Y/N is special. Charles_Leclerc what seb said!!!

Y/NCooks one of the sweetest gesture anyone did for me. Thank you honey for making this day extra special. I don't need any five star restaurants when I have you in the kitchen.

Charles_Leclerc I love you. You deserve the world User21 Them your honor. User22 Happy Birthday Y/N, you two are excellent for each other

#charles leclerc x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #charles leclerc fluff

[luveline]

hi sweetheart , ur amazing , was wondering if you could write an eddie & roan fic , where whereas eddie was in the hospital that one time , its r’s turn , not to serious but definitely something youd fine yourself worrying about ! and ed and roanie r so worried , sorta like the scene from the work trip 🥹

PLS i love u angel

thank you for your request, ilove u! eddie and roan —dad!eddie juggles his daughter roan, nearly step mom!you, and his own rollercoaster emotions when you end up in hospital for a few days. 4k

cw hospital stay, seizure recovery, temporary paralysis

Eddie's never been this tired in his entire life, and he can't sleep. 

He looks up at his bedroom ceiling (your ceiling, your house), hands under his back in the same clothes he wore yesterday. She'll worry if I show up looking like a slob, he thinks eventually, getting up to shower. The last thing he wants to do when he can't take care of you is take care of himself, but he has to, because that's what you'd want if you were home. 

Roan is stirring by the time he's dressed again. He tugs his socks on and walks across the landing, residual steam from the bathroom warming the air, his hair dripping a cool path down his back. 

He creeps over a mess of things that hasn't been touched in two days. Roan's eyes fly open at the sound, but she sees him and they squint to a more sluggish expression, little hands rubbing sleep from her eyelashes. 

Eddie thinks maybe she thought he was you. 

"Hey, bubby," he says, as loving and bubbly as he can manage, "did you have a nice sleep?" 

"Can we go see Y/N now?" she asks hoarsely. 

Eddie sits on the side of her bed and pulls her effortlessly into his lap. She's boiling from the sheets, her hair curled tight at her neck from the heat. 

"Remember what I said yesterday about visiting hours?" He strokes hair from her face gently, an arm wrapped around her waist to say I'm here. "They won't let us in until nine, and it's not eight yet." 

He drops his nose into her hair. 

"Maybe we can go get a really yummy breakfast," he suggests, thinking about you. You're probably awake, and if he's lucky you've eaten your own breakfast, but it's more likely you've refused it if you're as lethargic as you were yesterday.  

"I don't want diner burgers anymore," Roan says. 

Eddie gives her a kiss and her back a rub. "No, I bet you don't. Sorry, sweetheart, it's not nice having the same foods for two days in a row, is it? That's my fault." 

"It's okay. Let's make waffles." 

He kisses her forehead, taking a contemplative breather, just the two of them in their quiet house, her body a familiar weight in his lap. The sun is up and shining through her window, sunlight across the floor and her spilled toybox. It doesn't quite reach them on the bed, and Eddie snorts at it. Of course it doesn't. Home without you isn't sunny.  

"Waffles," he agrees. 

They make waffles with leftover strawberries and squirty cream. Roan is perky enough to want to have some straight from the can, giggling a storm when he plops a dollop of it onto her nose. He gets her ready as she eats, brushing her knotty hair and changing her pyjamas for a striped long sleeve shirt, wool leggings, and a dungaree dress you'd begged him to buy for her. The front pocket sports a small embroidered Russian doll. 

She should've had a bath, but it's getting on, and Eddie wants to get to Hawkins General dead on visiting time. She's not dirty, just her hair isn't as nice as it could be. He figures the universe will forgive him. 

He really has to see you. 

Getting Roan into the car rehashes a fresh memory. The day before yesterday… things should've been normal. Eddie was walking out of the shop, keys swinging around his finger ready to see his girls for your usual Friday plans: movies on the couch until one or all of you falls asleep. He's thinking kettle corn, a sheet of a dozen donuts, a gallon of Roan's favourite grapefruit juice and maybe another punnet of strawberries so she can dip them in chocolate and sugar. 

But Wayne jogged out after him calling his name. There was a phone call from your work, your coworker frantic. 

Eddie blinks and shoves his keys into the car, listening to the engine sputter, trying to focus. A tonic-clonic seizure, seven minutes counted before it stopped. You were already in the ambulance when they called. 

"What do I do?" Eddie'd asked, frozen to the spot. His heart pounding unsteadily in his chest, the image of you in convulsions behind his eyes. "What do I–"

"You go to the hospital," Wayne said, because of course that's what he had to do. 

Wayne vowed to pick up Roan and Eddie got in the car. His hands shook so bad he couldn't turn the key at first, but he managed it, and he got to Hawkins General in one piece, and he didn't panic at the reception desk asking if you'd been checked in yet. 

Eddie doesn't think he'd described you as looking small before, but you looked small. They laid you out in a snug bed with square orange stickers on your head, chest, and arms, unconscious. You didn't wake up for hours. 

And that was normal, Eddie reminds himself now, the car huffing and puffing its way down roads he's been driving on for almost a decade now on autopilot. You had a standard generalised tonic-clonic seizure. It started from nowhere, though they later found your blood sugar had been very low. That was deemed the cause. Eddie blames himself for it in a hundred different ways, remembering that morning, how he'd made you late for work cuddling you when you should've been getting ready. 

You skipped breakfast. He thought you'd have something on the way, but you never did. 

It's my fault, he thinks, then and now, the same thought that's plagued him for three days. 

"Do we wanna talk about how we feel today?" Eddie asks, tearing himself away from the aching remembered fear and back into the present. Five minutes until he gets to see you again, until he knows for sure you're alright.

"I feel okay. I want to see mom." 

"We're almost there. You have your flowers from the back yard?" 

Roan waves her picked daisies at him assuredly. Eddie hadn't thought to buy you flowers. He could barely manage the essentials; pyjamas, toothpaste and lip balm. He forgot to get you a toothbrush. He forgot underwear —he had to go back to the store. It was a disaster. 

"What about scary feelings?" Eddie asks softly, reaching back to make a grab for her knee. 

"You said she's okay now." Roan sits forward. "What if her arms stop working again?" 

It was only one arm. You could've come home yesterday if you hadn't been experiencing a weakness called 'Todd's Paresis', a paralysis of the limbs. You slowly regained functionality of it throughout the day, but your headache and confusion remained. 

Eddie thinks that was the worst part. You, in bed, crying because you didn't understand. His eyes burn and well with tears every time he thinks about it. Eddie, I feel sick, you'd mumbled tearfully, reaching for his arm, smudging his tattoos between your careless fingers, I don't know what's– why are we here?

But you were genuinely going to be fine, even if you were scared. In the same way Eddie's going to be okay, and Roan will be, too, as long as he makes sure this isn't hurting her as it's happening. 

"Baby, I promise you her arms won't stop working again. When she had the seizure," —he doesn't like using a big word like that with her, only there's no alternative and she needs to know— "her brain was confused. It was confused for a couple of hours, 'n' when she woke up her body needed time to catch up." He doesn't know how true it is, but it's for Roan to understand her feelings, not to help her medicinal education. "When we said goodnight she could wave bye to us, yeah? So don't worry about mommy's arm." 

"I'm worried about mommy's everything." 

"Yeah?" Eddie feels a mixture of stress at her admission and relief as the hospital parking lot creeps into view. "You want to tell me?" 

"What if she gets another one?" 

"Another seizure?" Eddie asks, turning the wheel. All he has to do is drive into the lot and find a space without crashing. 

"Will she have to come back to hospital?" Roan asks. 

"Yeah, she would have to come back. But… okay, sometimes, people have lots of seizures all the time, and they aren't dangerous. Sometimes they are dangerous," he amends. "But lots of the time they're not. So if she did have more, I would make sure she didn't get hurt and we would have to be brave all over again. We can do that, can't we?" 

He parks the car. 

Roan doesn't look as though his explanation helped. Eddie's running on an empty tank, scrubbing his hands through half dried hair and wishing he was better at this. He gets out of the front seat and opens her door, unclicking her straps, helping her down onto her feet. 

"Babe, I forgot your jacket," he says, surprised at himself as he realises she only has two layers. "Are you cold?" 

She holds out her arms and assesses for herself. "I think so." 

"You'll have to come inside my hoodie. Shall we do that?" he asks with a grin.

Eddie picks Roan up, has her cling to his neck, and zips his hoodie up over her body, their head sticking out of the hole all squished together. She's a laughing mess as they cross the lot and head into the main building of the hospital, infectiously happy as she calls him, "so silly, daddy." 

They do look silly, but Eddie's glad he forgot her jacket. It's nice to hear her laughing like that after such a tough weekend, far from the one he'd pictured. 

He tries to set her down after they've entered the elevator, but she won't go. He holds her tighter instead. 

"We're going to be nice and quiet on the ward 'cos there are other grown ups here, and some of them are in a lot of pain," he reminds her.

"We should've brought flowers for everybody." 

"How many do you have, sweetheart?" he asks, watching the floor number tick upward. 

"I have, um." She pulls her hand back from his neck, four rumpled daisies choked in her fingers. "No, I can't give them to everyone else, I only have enough for mommy." 

Eddie's noticed a very high ratio of 'mommy' when compared to Roan's usual mix these last few days. If anyone asks who her mom is she says it's you enthusiastically, but if she's talking to you face to face she'll call you whatever she feels like. Mom tends to come out more when she's tired, when she's feeling adored, or when she's upset, but that isn't to say she won't call you mom at random moments. Why is the window glass all blurry, mom? I didn't 'member to feed Lucky, mommy, you have to get the fish food. Mom, I need more soda. 

Roan was too old when you met to mistake you for her mother. You're growing into the title. Roan's growing into using it. 

"That's okay. You keep them all for mom," he whispers. 

"We won't show anyone so they don't feel left out," she whispers back. 

"Good plan." 

When Wayne brought Roan by the first night, she was just happy to see you both. Unlike when Eddie burned his arm, you weren't alert enough to be in any pain, and so she didn't have to be scared of that. Wayne kept his cool when he picked her up, mitigating most of the panic she probably would've felt had Eddie been there. She wasn't happy to see you unwell, but she wasn't scared. She hasn't cried. 

Eddie knows from experience that a lack of tears now doesn't mean they aren't coming. 

You're sitting up in bed, showered, in a fresh pair of pyjamas with a cup of coffee held between two strong hands. You have a magazine on your knee. Even your hair looks nice. It's a goddamn miracle in Eddie's eyes —he nearly drops Roan. 

"My Munsons!" you say happily, putting your coffee on the tray table wheeled over your bed. "What the heck, you told me you'd be here at nine and it's nine oh seven. I thought we loved each other?" 

Oh thank fucking God, Eddie thinks. You're okay. You sound yourself again, no pain, no hazy confusion. 

"You're conjoined," you say, smiling. 

Eddie scrambles to unzip his jacket. Roan throws herself out of his arms and on to the end of your bed. You push your tray table and coffee sloshes everywhere in your rush to make room for her. 

"Good morning," she says, slamming into you. Eddie winces at her force, and Roan must recognise her brutality, saying, "Sorry, I hugged you hard." 

"That's okay, I like hard hugs," you say, wrapping your arms around her. 

Eddie gets his knee on the mattress to grab you both in his own hug. Tears burn in his eyes. He doesn't have the wherewithal to blink them back, dropping his lips to your forehead. "I was so worried," he says, unable to hide how high and fraught his voice is. 

"Eddie," you murmur softly. "My love, it's okay. I'm just fine, you didn't have to worry about me." 

"But I did, you were–" He clears his throat. "I love you." 

"I love you too," you say, your hand crawling up his front. You curve your palm around his neck. "Baby, I'm so sorry." 

Eddie laughs and sniffs, sitting back on your bed to wipe his eyes with his wrist. His hands are shaking. "It's okay, it's alright. I don't want you sorry for nothing. We just wanted you to get better. Isn't that right, Ro?" 

Roan picks her head up from your neck, tears pumping down her face. 

Eddie's heart hurts seeing it, even if he was expecting it. You, on the other hand, hadn't had that foresight. You look at her like she's split you clean in two. 

"Princess, what's the matter?" you implore, cuddling her back into your chest. "I know it's really scary being here, lovely girl, I know. It's okay." 

Roan doesn't explain herself, just sobs little sobs into your shirt, clutching you as though she's worried you'll push her away. 

Eddie puts his hand on her back. 

"I'm sorry," you say softly, sounding weak yourself.

"Don't be sorry, are you kidding? It was my fault," Eddie says. 

"What?" 

"I made you late, you didn't eat breakfast–" 

"Eddie–" 

"Don't fucking say sorry–" 

"Eddie," you say again, rubbing Roan's back. You give him a soft look. 

"Sorry," he says. He takes a big breath, victim of an overflow of emotion. 

Eddie slides further up the bed to get a better hold on Roan where she's being hugged. "I'm very sorry for cussing, baby. How are you feeling, huh? Happy to see mommy with both arms, is that it?" 

"So happy," she sobs, pushing her lips closer to your ear and her flowers into your neck. "I brought you flowers to help you get better but you're better already." 

Eddie doesn't know what to do besides pat her back and cling to you.

After a big healthy cry fest, you lay back in your pillows with Roan propped against your front, speaking at a much more acceptable volume considering your three neighbours in the room. You rub her back with one hand and feed her hard pretzels with the other, passing your pinky finger over her cheeks as a makeshift handkerchief to collect the last of her tears. Her daisies wilt in a cup of fruitless water on the nightstand. 

"Is that what all the fuss was about? You worried daddy wasn't gonna enable your snack addiction?" you ask fondly, 

"Dad gives me lots of snacks. We had Benny's two times yesterday and then we had ice cream with every topping for after dinner." 

"I'm glad he's been spoiling you," you say. 

"Too much Benny's, wasn't it?" Eddie prompts, meeting your eyes with a bemused grin, his head twitching with a headache that doesn't fit the mood. "She said to me before breakfast she didn't want any today. We had waffles in the waffle maker and blueberries and strawberries." 

"With squirty cream," Roan says, opening her mouth wide for another pretzel. 

You indulge her and feed her. 

"You didn't enjoy burgers for lunch and dinner?" you ask. 

"We had Reuben sandwiches and loaded fries for dinner, it wasn't as torturous as it sounds." 

"It sounds delicious," you say, kissing Roan's pale forehead. "I wish I'd been there to steal all the bacon bits off of your fries. Now I'm better, maybe we can go and have them again, give me a fighting chance."  

"No!" Roan says with a laugh.

"No? So selfish, Ro, you know I want whatever you're eating." You kiss her crown and adjust your arms around her.

"Now you're better, I think we should have the, um, the special curry dad makes with rice and peas." 

"Oh, yeah?" Eddie asks. "Mom's better so dad can go back to his life of serfdom. That's awesome." 

In actuality, Eddie would make you complicated, exhausting meals multiple times a day for the rest of your life if it meant you didn't end up here again. He has a strict breakfast plan forming in his mind as you speak.

"They said they were gonna check me one last time and if I'm okay I get to go home. Soon as the doctor can come and see me and make sure I look okay," you say, planing a pretzel past her mouth and into your own with a self satisfied smile.  

"You look beautiful," Eddie says, squeezing your knee. 

"Dad! I was going to say that!" Roan stands up from your lap and pushes him. "You steal everything!" 

"I do not! 

"You do! You stole my strawberry at breakfast and you took my soda straw last night!" 

"I did do both of those things but that doesn't mean I steal everything," Eddie says, looking up into her face happily. 

She has fire behind her eyes, even though her lashes are still wet and clumped together from her earlier tears. Roan harrumphs at him. "You do. You stole one of my gingersnap cookies–" 

"Baby, those were mine. Uncle Wayne got them for me 'cos they're my favourites and I was upset," he says, laughing. 

"Well. Why did you let me have them?" 

Eddie finds her hand to roll her fingers. "Because I'm good at sharing, something you never learned how to do." 

"Don't listen, bubby," you say, tipping pretzels into your mouth. "You're a good sharer." 

In the end, the doctor comes by and tells you to stay until the shift changes for a last set of observations. Eddie and Roan stay just past visiting hours to wait with you, Roan now firmly wedged in his lap, you with his hoodie over your shoulders. In all the chaos, he didn't remember to bring your jacket either. 

"This is why we're getting married," you say. 

"Why, so someone remembers to put jackets on you both?" he asks ruefully, Roan in his lap, your bag packed and ready to go at your feet. 

"No…" You tip your head toward your shoulder a touch. "Because you've done such a good job looking after me, sweetheart. You really have. Thank you for taking care of me." 

"I think the hospital did all the looking after," he says. 

He tries uselessly to shove down that awful feeling again. The memory of you prone in bed with your IV and your heart monitor beeping. It felt like it was beating behind his eyes. 

It's easier to forget now you're feeling almost one hundred percent again. Your hand at his elbow, in your nice white and blue pyjamas, content to be going home again. 

"That's not true… I can't imagine how tired you are right now. If it were you in here, for three days…"  

"Only two," he says. "Today doesn't count." 

"It absolutely counts." 

You pout for a kiss that Eddie eagerly gives you. He kisses you, your cheek, your ear, a line of gratitude because he doesn't care how tired he is or how hard this was. You're better. You can rest at home. 

"I'd be a mess. Don't feel bad about the jackets or start thinking you did a bad job," you say, combing your fingers through his hair. You scoot back to look him in the eye, a ridiculous amount of fondness lining your own, your pinched brows. "You did awesome. A-plus for everything."

"It's not over," he says, stroking Roan's arm where she squirms in his lap, bored. "You're on bed rest, I don't care what the doctor says. And you're taking time off work. Promise me." 

"Promise," you say, holding your hands up. 

"Can I have the time off too from school?" Roan asks. 

Her big doe eyes and her tiny frown would convince him if he hadn't already thought about it. 

He squeezes her chubby cheeks in his palms. "You need a few days to feel better," he agrees. 

"Really?" she asks with a gasp. 

"Yeah, really. You've been really, really brave." He kneads her cheeks gently. "You're such a good girl. You're my brave girl." 

"Super brave," you agree, cheek on Eddie's shoulder. 

Roan sits back with a proud shrug, arms wrapping around her stomach. "I was a bit brave." 

Eddie chucks her under the chin with his knuckle. You get discharged a little while later, Roan and Eddie like a small parade pushing your wheelchair. You hate the attention, complaining to the nurse lightly that you can walk to the car without falling. No one wants to hear it. 

"You're legally required to take it easy for a few days," Eddie says. "You promised me." 

You slump back in the chair. "Fine. Ro, come and sit in my lap, at least? This hospital is a maze, I need company while they find our way out." 

Roan loves that idea. She sits on your knees, back to your chest, your hands around her waist like a seatbelt. 

"Can I push her the rest of the way? I'm sure you're busy," Eddie says to the nurse. He says it so nicely, so politely, that despite his tattoos and his long hair, she doesn't put him in the 'hooligan' box as people tend to do. She hands you over.  

Eddie waits for her to round the corner before ducking down, your backpack in the crook of his elbow, hands tightening around the wheelchair handles. 

"Girls. You better hold on tight. I'm sick of this place and we're leaving right now." 

"Don't you dare." 

"All arms in the ride?" he asks, charging up his push. He takes a preparatory step back. "On three. One, two–" 

"Three!" Roan shouts. 

Eddie races you down the hallway, your nervous laughter so loud it bounces off of every wall on the way out.

#eddie and roan #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #dad!eddie munson #dad!eddie munson x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4

[just-an-anon-reader]

Turtle Tricks

Summary: The gang is out and ready to get the whole Halloween experience. Sadly your girl group ditched you. Luckily you have your boyfriend with you!

P.S: Hello! Halloween season is officially over. Christmas is comin up! But before that, here is part 2 to Turtle Treaters. I hope you guys enjoy it!

The streets of New York are almost always full of pedestrians walking about and going with their day. But this hallows eve, and on every holiday really, that number of people always doubled. The Halloween fair had stalls lined up on every block. Some sold candies like chocolate and candy corn, while others sold desserts like pumpkin bars and pies. Others even held games where you could win prizes. The scents that came from the sugary goodness wafted in the air giving the stale New York wind a Halloweeny sweetness. Each one of you could feel your mouth salivate from the sights and smells. It was almost a sensory overload. And of course, being a gang of eight, everyone wanted to go in different directions and eat as much candy as they can stuff in their faces. Cassandra wanted to go for the, according to Donnie, strangely anatomically correct skull cookies. April and Sunita went straight for the stall selling gummies shaped like everything Halloween. That left the boys, your boyfriend, and you to figure out how to split up.

Raph

"Raphie, you smell that?" How you were able to smell anything through the material of your hippo suit is a mystery in itself, but yes Raph did smell that.

"Is that, chocolate?"

"Yeah! Come on!"

Letting you pull him through the crowd of New Yorkers, Raph follows you to a small stall with a fairly large crowd selling hot chocolate. Apparently, this was hot choco with a "twist" which made it extra special. Some of the customers walked away with horrified faces, while others with giggling with joy. If the smell wasn't enough to buy you in, curiosity definitely did.

"Ooh~ We have to get some!"

"I don't know. The line is pretty long. Might take us a while."

"Pretty please~? It's cold."

That was an absolute lie. Sure the November wind may have been cold but inside your hippo suit, you felt like thanksgiving turkey on slow cook wearing it. Was that gonna stop you from Halloween hot choco? Definitely not. Raph didn't know how, but he could feel your puppy eyes from underneath the suit. And with or without seeing it, he would always be weak to it. Always.

"Alright fine, let's get in line."

Happily, you skipped in line with Raph standing beside you. And, luckily enough, the fairly long line moved surprisingly fast. The wait only lasted five minutes tops before it was both your turn. Soon enough, you were both sitting on a side bench with your hot chocos in hand. With a pop, you remove the head of your suit with a sigh of relief. Raph never looked like he was baking inside wearing this, maybe it was a mutant turtle-ninja...thing.

"I thought you said it was cold?"

"It is now."

Taking a sip, you were surprised by the spicy kick you felt in your mouth. Not cinnamon spicy, more like cayenne pepper spicy. It was yummy. You were about to take another sip when Raph shrieked beside you. You turned to look and find your boyfriend looking at his cup, horrified.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"There's…something…very wrong with mine."

Glancing at his cup, you spot three eyeballs floating in his hot choco. All looking upwards, glassily at him. And you since you were looking down at his cup of hot choco.

"Ooh~ those are good."

Raph gave you a look before you had to explain that they were marshmallows filled, usually, with strawberry jam. You suggested he pop one in his mouth and, although reluctantly, he did. It tasted good, but he still felt icky about it though. You only laughed at his squirmish expression, which made him huff, before taking another sip.

"Hey, you have something on your face."

You couldn't even react before he kissed you on the cheek. Out of nowhere.

"You had some whipped cream there."

Leo

Seeing as your girl group ditched you with your boyfriend and his brothers, you decided to have a look around. See if anything caught your fancy. And sure enough, something did. A horror house. Filled with the screams of horrified teens who thought they were brave enough to traverse the maze-like corridors of the nightmarish attraction. You tugged at Leo's Lou Jitsu sleeve to get his attention. Once you got it, you gestured to the attraction. Raising your eyebrows in a challenge.

"Babe, the first one who screams loses. The winner gets pizza rights."

Leo, being the champion turtle that he was, grinned mischievously and pulled you to the ticket booth.

"One for me and my fine partner here, if you please."

"Please follow Frankenstein to the house entrance."

The ticketer said, gesturing to the staff dressed as Frankenstein who stood just to the right of the booth. Quickly, you two followed after them and entered the horror house with determination. After all, extra pizza slices were in the line. Thirty minutes in, and no one has made a single noise. Outside the subtle jumps, sweaty palms held tightly in each other’s sweaty grip, and the hardly unnoticeable inching closer together, not even a silent gasp left your mouths. Immediately after a turn, written on the wall in wet and drippy red paint were the words 'Keep running! You're almost there!' Naturally, this prompted you both to speed walk towards the almost-there exit. And, like a light at the end of the tunnel, the way out was in sight. That was until... something sprung out from the shadows. It was big. It was slimy. It was...

"EEEEEEEEK"

'flash'

"That's going in the album!"

"...piebald?"

"Hey there, honey! It's been a while!"

"What are you doing here?"

At this point, Leo, who somehow got behind you peeked out all fidgety still.

"Well, I figured that this would be the ideal part-time job. Tryin' to earn some money for my new tank. The place is nice, but needs some feminine touches."

"Ooh~ that's great! Say, you wouldn't mind sending me that pic, would you?"

You walked out of the horror house with a smug smirk directed at your defeated boyfriend. And he, he didn't like that. Not only did he look super lame, but he also lost! He LOsT! So he did the next most logical thing. Grabbing your slick, black blazer he gently yet quickly tugged you upwards. To his beak. Kissing you. Your first kiss. On the lips.

"Wipe the smug smile off your face."

"Hmm, I dunno I'm gonna have to think about it. Give me another and I just might."

Donnie

"Am I hallucinating? Or is that stall just west of us, selling automatons to unsupervised children on Halloween?"

Looking toward the direction you indicated, there was indeed, a stall filled to the brim with mechanical trinkets and gizmos. On the center stage of the stall was an intricately made wooden robotic cat. And being the pair of science nerds you and Donnie were, you both immediately squeezed through the crowd of people and toward the stall. Upon closer inspection, the stall was filled specifically with animal and insect-themed robots such as spiders and bats. All were intricately made with various materials ranging from wood to silver to copper.

"The machinations within also seemed to be incorporated properly as well. Tell me, good fellow, did you make these all by yourself."

The vendor enthusiastically replied yes. Stating that each piece was handmade and, literally, took them days to accomplish. Understandable, considering the meticulousness that came from both building and designing such creations.

"May we take a look at this one, please?" You said. Pointing at the cat that had drawn you to this stall in the first place.

The vendor nodded and gently removed the mechanism from its case and onto the table in front of you.

"So tell us, how does this exactly work?"

The vendor gave the both of you a long look before smiling and said, "Well for a start, you'll need a knife."

You and Donnie nodded in unison.

"And then you cut it."

...

"eXCusE uS?!"

"Will you be buying this one? I would like to demonstrate if so."

Let's just say that you and Donnie had to dish up all your Halloween candy money to buy it. Was it a worthwhile spend? Short answer, yes. After having paid for it, the vendor proceeded to unsheathe their knife and cut into the robot. First came the crunching from the exterior. Then came the strong smell of...chocolate? There was no wheezing of cut-in-half gears or the static of also cut-in-half wires. Just very, very, gooey chocolate cake. They then proceeded to push the slice toward you and Donnie. Unsurely, he took a piece of the cake and into his mouth. Don't get him wrong, the cake was heavenly, almost divine. But his brain just could not comprehend what just happened.

"d!...D!...Donnie!"

Donnie turned towards you. Eyebrows raised in confusion. How were you not phased by this?! Apparently, his expression was very readable since you said, "Hyper-realistic cake. I've never seen it in person but they have been going viral. Also, you have some chocolate on your face. Mind if I?"

Donnie only nodded. Still completely out of it when you gently wiped a napkin across his bottom lip. Swiping at the gooey chocolate. You giggled when, despite being so obviously rattled to the shell, he still reacted shyly to your touch as a soft blush started to dust his cheeks. It took a while before the two of you could arrive at the meeting point i.e the same place where everyone split up, only to find the rest of the turtles still arguing about which direction to go. Raph, having been facing your general direction, saw you and Donnie and the expensive cake placed in a transparent plastic box in your hands.

"Please don't tell me you used all your Halloween money on that."

"It was a worth it buy."

Mikey

"Mikey! Look!"

You excitedly poke Mikey's paper mache pumpkin as you point toward the line of stalls selling jack-o-lanterns and carved candles.

"It's our people!"

As fast as you both could in your jack-o-lantern costumes, you waddled toward the stalls hand in hand. You both first went to the candle stalls, becoming immediately drawn to the details and colors of each one. Some had solid colors. Others had layers of black, white, and orange. All of them were carved in elegant petal-like designs that curved sometimes inward, sometimes outward, till they reached the bottom of the candle. They even had cats and witches carved into them. There was one in particular that caught your eye. It was a scented cinnamon candle with a green outer layer with the inside being an arrangement of oranges and yellow. It would look perfect in Mikey's room aesthetic.

"See something you like babe?"

"Oh, nothing much. They're all so beautiful."

You were definitely buying that behind his back. Of course, you couldn't forget about your fellow jack-o-lanterns on display. There were small ones, ones as big as your head, some smooth and others rough. There were even some that you could use like a mask and some that sold them as candy buckets filled with Halloweeny goodness. You both definitely bought a matching pair of buckets. There were some pies in your buckets that Mikey just had to get the recipe too.

"I'll be right back. I gotta know the secret to this pie."

"Alright, I'll be waiting here.

Of course, you weren't. While Mikey waddled back to the bucket stall determined to get that recipe, you waddled back to the candle stall. And, to your luck, it was still there! You excitedly beckoned to the vendor for it. They gladly wrapped it up for you. Like they really wrapped it up. Bubble wrap and all.

"It's very fragile. So be very careful with it." The vendor advised as they handed you the bubble-wrapped candle in exchange for your money.

"I will! Thank you!"

Very, very carefully, you placed the candle in the deepest pocket of your soft crocheted jack-o-lantern costume. Were you glad you decided to crochet those in. Quickly, well as fast as you could, you waddled back to where Mikey left you just in time to see him waddling back to you.

"Someone is making pumpkin pie tonight! Come on, we better get back."

You giggled at his excitement. The candle you gave to him at the layer. He never did use it. "Art too precious to tarnish" he would say. He definitely asked Donnie for the meaning of tarnish.

#rottmnt #rise!donnie #rise!leo #rise!raph #rise!mikey #rottmnt mikey x reader #rottmnt raph x reader #rottmnt leo x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #there’s so many tags

[choco-pudding]

Space Channel 5 Part 2: Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book p. 160-169 (Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)

Last part of Report 6 and the beginning of the bonus content.

Imgur link to all of the Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book translations we’ve done thus far.

Plain text below.

p. 160 Noize's Evaluation: The Curtain Falls on the Rhythm Rogues' Attack

Whereabouts of the Blown-Away Purge Thanks to the Astrobeat Jr., I was able to watch, firsthand, as the dance energy of 86,429 individuals combined into something truly spectacular. But I wonder… what happened to Purge? I don't recall Ms. Pine arresting him… were you content with him being blasted away? I dunno. Looking at the lyrics, "All the whole wide galaxy dances for me; yes, I'll make each one of you very happy," maybe he really thought he was the good guy here. Near the end, I think he said something like, "I won't forget this!" Or maybe it was, "See you next week!" Honestly, I’m a lil' worried. Even Mr. Blank was able to covertly return, so…

Ms. Ulala Marching On Anyway, the last was really cool, wasn’t it. Just wow… The Super Ulala Dimension dance and melody was so powerful I could see and hear it from the outside, too. It felt like something straight out of “Ten Billion Days and One Hundred Billion Nights.” It was like a holy cosmic showdown! It really was… I wonder if the “power of love” did all that. To cap it all off, everyone joined in to do the Space Channel 5 pose. I was so relieved everything was finally over. After that, as you know, we marched away like it was a regal procession. I couldn’t just leave after Ms. Ulala cheered, “Let’s march to the ends of the galaxy!" so I ended marching about 24 more space kilometers.

That’s where the report itself ended. Ms. Ulala, though, she was still so full of energy, even after marching, that she went off to dance somewhere else (laughs). The day after that, my team had the day off. Not that we had much to do in the first place. By then, the incident became a huge story picked up by all the regular news shows, rather than special report teams. Despite the whole fiasco, the government didn't really give us anymore commendations, and everything soon went back to normal. Ms. Ulala is still being routinely scolded by Mr. Fuse. I don't think that will ever change.

-

Groove Guru 155

Up Up Down Down Hey Hey Toyota

p. 161

When Mr. Fuse Returned Sometime after I landed the Astrobeat Jr. to watch Ulala and the other’s grand march, Mr. Fuse came down to join me. While we were watching, I said to him "Nice job, Mr. Fuse. I can't believe you're alright." I really thought he met a gruesome fate after the Astrobeat was blasted down. Apparently, he was able to escape unscathed due a number of factors (you can hear the details right outta Mr. Fuse's mouth on the soundtrack CD released on April 24, 2002). I guess it was a traumatic experience regardless, since he went to his usual drinking spot as soon the show was over.

What Did I Do Next? Right now, I'm being interviewed by the Space Police… I don't really mind, they're being nice. But after the incident, I had my hands full! I was involved in the major project to recover all the antennas that had been modified by Purge; it happens when you’re a Technical Development chief with deep connections in the industry. At least the huge dance floor Purge constructed made it easy for all of us to work simultaneously. After about three days, we finally finished and I returned to modifying microphones for Ulala to use while incognito. I made some that look like an ice cream cone, an ear of corn, and a couple of other things.

-

Groove Guru 156

Up Toyota Up Toyota Down Down Down

p. 162 Fuse's Broadcast Notes

Report 6 & Repeat 6 Last but not least, here are the final instructions prepared by director Fuse for the live broadcast of "Ulala's Swingin' Report Show," presented in an easy-to-read fashion. Its contents show useful tips for succeeding on the secret input locations. Modifications made for the rerun broadcasts for "Ulala's Swingin' Report Show" (Reruns have unique features from the first airing) are also included. Note, the timing and locations of the secret inputs are exactly the same between the main (Lap 1) and rerun broadcasts (Lap 2).

The Hidden Inputs

[1~2] Return of Mexican Flyer It’s finally back, the last "Jan, Jan, Jaaaan!," featuring the fan-favorite second and third beat of "Mexican Flyer." After Report 2,"Mexican Flyer" took a long hiatus, but these "Jan, Jan" timings haven’t changed one bit! Let's go, all together now! "Jan, Jan, Jaaaan!"

Jan! Jan! Jaaan!

-

Groove Guru 157

Down Down Down Down Hey Hey Toyota

p. 163

[3] Ulalaaa! U! La! La! Purge the Great had overwhelming power in the confined space of Dance Dimension X. Ulala skillfully dodged the volley of beams, but even she couldn’t outmaneuver an all-out attack, and fell unconscious. However, Ulala came to her senses once she heard the rhythm of her friends calling to her in her mind. But, there was only three seconds left before the Ballistic Groove Gun fired! That would've be the end of the report! What was your quote, Ulala? That's right, it was "when have I ever lost at dancing! Get the secret input "pikoon" right after "lost!"

When have I ever lost [beat] at dancing!

[When Ulala's face pops up, that's the signal that she's ready to shout. The ratings are almost at 200%, rise up and give it your all!]

Flub the Final Finale and Face the Staff Roll Be careful not to miss the final "Chu! Chu! Chu!" mixed in with all the hype. A few mistake here and there before then is fine—reasonable, even—but the ending of the game changes if you flub here. This ending is a not-so-special shortened staff roll against a pitch-black screen, devoid of President Peace’s song. Needless to say, there's no group "March to the End of the Galaxy" either. And on top of all that, Purge won't perform his last hurrah (an input that can increase your ratings by one percent) at the end of the credits! So, if you screw up right at the end, you'll have to redo the entire report again, no matter what! Try again!

[Here’s the rundown on the failure ending; Mexican Flyer plays and the credits roll by super fast. The ratings? 149% at the most.]

[Now, the successful ending. We get to march to the ends of the galaxy and you get to hear the full lyrics of President Peace's soulful song. You get the complete credits roll, too.]

-

Groove Guru 157

Down Down Down Down Hey Hey Toyota

p. 164 Reference Material Direct Hit Interview with Pres. Peace, Post-incident

~Tachibana, interviewing Space President Peace~ Hey, Texas here. The following is an interview conducted by Tachibana of Channel 01. But really, I’m sneakin' this in 'cause Piney, who was with me during this, was being so adorable and hilarious while we moved through the crowd. After the battle with Purge was over, the press started surrounding President Peace, so the president had to walk with Pine leading the way.

Pine: Attention, all members of the press, Space President Peace is very tired at the moment. Reporters, please get out of the way immediately. Reporter 66: Mr. President, a word please… Pine: Please, move out of the way! Reporter 59: Mr. President, do you have any comments… Pine: Get out of the way! (The press still are pouring in) Pine: I said outta the way! Tachibana: Excuse me, Mr. President, may I have a word? Pine, who's heart skips a beat: Oh my gosh! It's Tachi, (Pine's nickname for him), my ideal man, so full of reason and intelligence aaaah!) Pine: Alright (ba-dump), Tachibana from Channel 01, you may approach. Tachibana: Mr. Peace, I hope you're in good health. Peace: Thank you, I'm as healthy as I can be. Tachibana: Could you comment on the recent disturbance? Peace: I believe I can disclose this now, since the case has been successfully and safely resolved… That being said, please, don't hate Purge too much. I don't think his goal to make the galaxy happy was overtly malicious. I think it was just… over the top? He meant well, but went about it the wrong way. Tachibana: I see, thank you very much. Reporter 21: Mr. President, may we have a comment? Pine: Shut up! Tachi is still talking! Reporter 21: Oh, my apologizes… wait, "Tachi"…? Pine: … (I'm done for, I wanna run away). Tachibana: I can ask the question for you, if that's alright? Pine: Ah, alright. (Angrily turns to Reporter 21) Since Mr. Tachibana also asked, I'll allow you to do so, too. But please, limit it to just one question. Reporter 21: Right. Mr. President, what do you make of Ulala? Peace: When I saw the live report of the "Morolian Incident" I was honestly so moved. The fact there are still youngsters who can deeply inspire others, it reminded me that how much good is still in the universe. Disregarding my presidential status, I cannot help by appreciate the fact she saved so many people, including myself, who were under the influence of dance beam. However, I'm not judging her solely as a reporter, but her nature as a person. That is all. Reporter 21: Thank you very much. Pine: Mr. Tachibana, would you like to ask one more question? Tachibana: Yes. Mr. President, what are your thoughts on the current security? Pine: (ba-dump) Peace: Even though I was abducted, I was saved and guided to safety by Miss Pine here, so I think she gets a passing grade. Aha ha ha ha ha! Now then, if you'll excuse me. (Pine shakes Tachibana's hand and slips him a piece of paper) Tachibana: … A phone number??? Pine: (Tachi…)

-

Groove Guru 159

Up Down Toyota

[[Translator’s note: I believe it’s implied that Pine’s internal dialogue is all Texas’s interpretation of her sister’s thoughts. Basically, she’s teasing her.]]

p. 165 Bonus

-

Groove Guru 160

Toyota Toyota Toyota

p. 166 Miss Ulala’s Changing Room

Costumes Cleaning isn’t in Miss Ulala’s repertoire, so the burden of tidying up the Changing Room always falls on us. She'll swear she’ll pitch-in but she never follows through. It’s kinda irritating. Most outfits are returned as soon as the report ends, but some aren’t collected until a few hours after. So, it’s not unusual for some to go missing during that gap. I wonder when we'll have them all again.

01: Channel 5 Retro Gear [Unlock Requirements] Unlocked from the start.

Newly-supplied company reporting fatigues. Made from ultra elastic material for easy movements.

02: Flower Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 2.

Aromatic Multi-Functional Suit. Regulates body temperature and humidity for extra pleasant reporting at all time.

-

Groove Guru 161

Toyota Toyota Hey

p. 167

03: Gogo Gear (w/o helmet)  [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 3.

Designed to protect the human body from space dust at high speeds.

04: Gogo Gear (w/ helmet)  [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 4.

Must have for any space-roaming citizen. The helmet can usually be stored in the back.

05: Spy Suit [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 5.

Designed for infiltration. A special wire attached to the back allows the wearer to move like a spider.

06: Old Retro Gear [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 6.

The company-issued suit Ulala used during the Morolian Invasion. It was in her closet.

p. 168

07: Old Retro Gear (Dirty) [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 6 (Extra Mode).

Designed to protect the human body from space dust at high speeds.

08: Super Ulala Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 6.

A super costume that is an amalgamation of dance energy. Rumored to be just underwear.

09: School Uniform [Unlock Requirements] Clear 24 consecutive trials in Ulala's Dance Mode.

A modified version of a uniform from School M. Altered by Ulala herself.

10: China Dress [Unlock Requirements] Clear 100 consecutive trials in Ulala's Dance Mode.

Used for the undercover investigation of the Shanghai Restaurant.

p. 169

11: Woolen Wear [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 1 with the Ratings at 100%

This was a suit that Ulala used to wear for her part-time job a while back.

12: Stealth Suit [Unlock Requirements] Have save data for Rez (PS2). Have save data for Rez (DC).

A super futuristic suit that apparently looks like a wire frame.

13: Pudding Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 2 with the Ratings at 100%

A costume of Pudding. You can also use it to imitate Padding, who is imitating Pudding.

14: Pine Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 3 with the Ratings at 100%

A costume of Pine, the Eastern Galaxy Space Police Chief. It can also be used to dress up as Texas, of the Western Galaxy Space Police.

-

Straight Up Filthy Groove Guru 164

Honda Honda Honda Honda

#space channel 5 #space channel 5 part 2 #Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book #noize #ulala #fuse #purge #texas #pine

[cardcaptorsakura96]

Midnight Fun

This is for Day 14 of Supercorptober

Fandom: Supergirl

Characters: Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Jess

Summary: Lena is overworked. Luckily, she has Kara in her life to force her into a much-needed break.

Word Count: 1,389

Lena yawned as continued to type at her desk in her apartment office. She looked at her watch and winced. It was midnight. She looked back at the reports in front of her and groaned. 

“It is going to take me 3 more hours to actually finish this,” muttered Lena. 

She shook her head and was about to start typing again when she heard a knock on her door. She nearly jumped into her own skin. She quickly switched her computer screen to her security footage and breathed a sigh of relief. It was Kara. While she was happy it was just her friend outside her door, she was a little concerned that she was here this late. She quickly went to the door and answered. 

“Hey Kara! Is everything okay?” asked Lena worriedly.

Kara rubbed the back of her neck while looking at Lena sheepishly.

“I came to force you to take a break. No one has seen you for the past week.”

Lena gave a soft smile. She felt bad about making her friends worry about her. However, she felt she was so close to a breakthrough. 

“I am sorry for not calling, but I think I might have found something to help get the lead out of the drinking water. I just need a couple more hours…”

“Lena, when was the last time you ate?”

Lena looked at her startled and asked, “What?” 

“Seriously, when was the last time you ate or even taken a nap?”

“Uhhh…..”

Kara smirked and asked, “You don’t remember do you?”

Lena looked down and sheepishly and said, “No.”

Kara grabbed Lena’s hand and dragged her inside. 

“Hey, where are you taking me?”

Kara guided Lena over to the couch to sit down. She turned to Lena with a smile on her face. 

“We are going to sit here, eat junk food, and watch your favorite movies.”

Lena looked towards her office and frowned. 

“But my research.”

Kara took Lena’s face in her hands and stared Lena directly in the eyes which caused Lena to blush. 

“You need to take better care of yourself. Working yourself to the bone isn’t going to do anyone any good.”

Lena nodded as Kara gradually let go and started grabbing food out of her bag and placing it on the table in front of them. Lena wasn’t used to someone caring for her well-being. When she met Kara a couple of months ago, she knew that she was gorgeous, but she soon discovered that she was also, kind, generous, and very driven especially when it comes to her friends. Lena was so used to being manipulated by people that she still had a hard time knowing how to respond when people were actually thinking about her well-being. She smiled, shook her head, and stared at the food before her. Lena was shocked at the amount of food that Kara brought: cheese puffs, several pints of ice cream, nachos, pigs in a blanket, cinnamon buns, two bottles of wine, and over course dumplings. It was enough to feed an army. 

Lena smirked and said, “How is this food taking care of me exactly?”

Kara chuckled, and said, “I know I have the taste buds of a child but this is at least better than consuming nothing at all the entire day.”

Lena sighed and said, “That is true.”

As she began nibbling on the pigs in a blanket, she asked, “What movies did you bring?”

“I brought your favorite films.”

Kara got out of the bag five movies. Lena looked through the titles. She then looked back up at Kara with a raised eyebrow. 

“These are all horror movies.”

“I know.”

“But you hate scary movies.”

Kara looked hesitantly at the films and said, “I know, but given the titles, I didn’t think they could be that scary.”

Lena narrowed her eyes and asked, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you heard of any of these films before?”

“Well no, but what could really be the harm in them though? Like this movie Children of the Corn. What is wrong with children liking corn? And then this film Alien. Why would anyone be scared of something from another planet?”

Lena stared at her baffled. 

” What?” asked Kara quizzically.

“Nothing. It is just an interesting take you had on the movies is all.”

Lena shook her head and looked at the other three movies. Given how Kara got scared easily, she saw only one that she might enjoy. However, it could just backfire. 

Lena looked up at Kara and pointed at the last film on the right. 

“I think we should watch this one first.”

Kara picked it up and smiled. 

“Aww, this fury little creature looks so cute. I think it will be fun.”

Lena muttered, “We’ll see,” as Kara put the DVD in the DVD player. 

As the movie began to play, Lena began to relax and laugh a little. She had forgotten how hilarious Gremlins was. However, she noticed something in the corner of her eye shaking. She turned over and her face saddened. Kara was curled up in a ball with her hand over her eyes. Lena paused the movie and gently placed a hand on Kara’s shoulder. 

“Kara, are you okay?”

Kara peeked a little over her hands and stuttered, “I’m fine. You can start back the movie.”

Lena pulled Kara into a hug and said, “You are not fine. You are shaking and trying to hide.”

Kara looked up sheepishly and said, “I thought that I could handle it. Gizmo looked so cute. Who knew that such evil creatures could come from him?”

Lena chuckled and said, “I know. It is really silly.”

“And scary,” muttered Kara.

Lena laughed and said, “How about we watch something we both can enjoy?”

Kara quickly shook her head and said, “But we should be doing something you like. You are the one that needs to unwind.”

Lena smiled and said, “Ever since you came, I haven’t thought once about work. You know why?”

Kara shook her head.

“Because I get to hang out with my best friend. We can just sit here in silence eating for all I care. As long as I am with you, I am happy.”

Kara blushed and said, “Well when you put it that way…”

Lena blushed and quickly went to the DVD player. 

“I have another movie I have been wanting to watch but didn’t want to watch by myself. Now where is it?”

Lena looked around for a minute before saying, “Found it!” 

She popped it into the DVD player and sat back down. 

“What are we watching?” asked Kara warily.

Lena smiled and said, “Something I know that we will both get a kick out of.”

The credits rolled and Kara began to squeal. 

“Oh! This is my favorite film. I didn’t know you got The Proposal.”

Lena looked down while twiddling her thumbs. 

“Several friends have recommended it to me so I was curious.”

However, Lena wasn’t being completely honest. She bought the movie because Kara mentioned over 1,000 times that this was her favorite movie of all time. She was hoping she would have a chance to watch it with Kara alone and decided to take tonight as this chance. 

Lena grabbed a blanket she kept on the couch and wrapped it around herself.

Kara beamed at the blanket and asked, “Do you mind if we share that? It looks so warm and comfy.”

“Sure!”

Kara cuddled under the blanket with Lena. They were so close that Lena could feel the warmth radiating off of her. As she rested her head on Kara’s shoulder, she could smell the pumpkin spice lotion she used which caused her to swoon. 

My dream is becoming a reality.

“You are really in for a treat Lena. Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are a great comedy duo and their romance in this movie is so cute.”

“I can’t wait!”

As they settled in to watch the movie, Lena couldn’t believe how her day had been. She began the day feeling stressed beyond belief and was now ending it in the arms of the woman she adores. Lena felt a sense of contentment that she had never felt before as they continued to watch more romantic movies as the night went on. 

If you like this, I have more Supercorp-related work on AO3. Hope you enjoy!

#dc comics #dc universe #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp #kara danvers x lena luthor #supergirl fanfiction #supercorp fanfiction #dc fanfiction #fanfiction #supergirlfanfic #supercorpfanfic #dccomics fanfic #supercorptober2023 #supercorptober #r/ao3 promptober challenge #midnight #scary movies #overworked #much needed break #friendship #cuddles #gremlins

[n1ightw1ng]

“do any of the clothes you’re wearing belong to you?!” // if you’re wanting prompts i would love to see this with jaytimsteph? or timstephcass 💖

hey hey 😘 here's some fluffy timstephcass for ya ❤️

For the life of him, he could not find his favorite hoodie. Tim had searched every drawer, closet, nook and cranny in three safe houses–the Nest included–and the damn thing was nowhere to be found. He'd had it for years; he had picked it up at a music festival he'd visited with the rest of Young Justice (before a villain crashed it). It was two sizes too big at the time, so it still fit, and the GOO FIGHTERS graphic had cracked and faded.

But it was gone. And Tim was this close to a meltdown only his comfort hoodie could cure.

It wasn’t that he never let anyone borrow his clothes. He didn’t like to, but when all kinds of kid vigilantes were in and out of your room and sometimes covered in various fluids (human or alien), they borrowed your clothes. Kon had worn it before he died, and then Tim had worn it, unwashed, for long after it stopped smelling like his cologne and simply stunk. That was a while ago, though. Things were better now. And he liked his showers frequent and his laundry crisp.

Before he'd passed out after last night's patrol, Steph invited him to a late brunch at the local Gotham chain diner Grindstone’s. The Hill location was fairly close to the apartment she shared with Cass, enough so that the rotating cast of teenage servers knew all of their names. Tim was a less frequent visitor, strict as his diet was, but he suspected the staff gossiped about the guy with two girlfriends, or the girlfriends who sometimes brought their boyfriend, or whatever. It was also possible that they simply knew who Tim Drake was.

When he reached the diner, the girls were already there. They dragged him into their side of the booth and smoothed the paper place mats all together. Someone had procured a box of crayons and the beginnings of a very purple and yellow doodle of both Batgirls covered half the local ads. Steph squeezed him under her arm in a headlock because he wasn't going to order fries to share (and Grindstone's had the best cornmeal-coated fries in town), and he found himself face-to-face with the very familiar fabric of Cass's sweatshirt.

How had he missed it?

“That's mine,” he choked out, launching at her across Steph's lap the moment he was out of the headlock. “Where did you get that?!”

Cass blinked at him, a smug little twist to her lips. “You left it.”

No, he distinctly remembered folding it and placing it in his Favored Location in his closet beneath the theater–Oh. Oh, no. He'd worn it to movie night two weeks ago. And then the three of them had gotten a little…distracted, and he'd gone home the next morning in something else. Steph's oversized denim trucker jacket, with the huge pockets, he thought. He'd forgotten all about the hoodie.

“I need it back,” he sniffed. Steph elbowed him in the side. Their server was balancing five plates in her arms and didn't look prepared to handle whatever they were doing. Once he sat up, she spread out their dishes as best she could with the three of them on the same side of the table. Steph had gotten chocolate chip pancakes, Cass had ordered a cheesy omelet and a plate of corned beef hash, and Tim had gotten his favorites: strawberry-stuffed French toast and the fries he'd been threatened bodily harm over. Shortly after, she returned with a strawberry shake (Steph), an iced hot chocolate with whipped cream and shaved chocolate (Cass), and a frothy cappuccino with pistachio syrup (him). “I've been looking for that for days,” he said, because he wasn't going to let it go.

“Shut up and eat your berries,” Steph said, and cuffed his ear. She scooped some whipped cream off of Cass's drink. Cass simply took a bite of her omelet.

He leaned into Steph, giving Cass his best puppy eyes over her shoulder. “You don't understand,” he whined, “I need it for my health.”

“Bathroom,” Cass said, still with that twinkle in her eye, as she forced them to file out of the booth. When she stood, he noticed the odd fit of her jeans: they were narrowest at the top and too wide for her hips. They were shaped like Stephanie.

He pointed incredulously. “Do any of the clothes you're wearing belong to you?!”

Cass looked over her shoulder and smirked. “Underwear.” That shut him up. He flopped back in the booth to pick at his food. Steph relayed an engrossing story about her feral poetry professor, and then abruptly stopped. She tapped his shoulder frantically.

“Tim. Ohmigod.”

In front of their table, Cass was standing with the hoodie looped over one arm, but that wasn't the interesting part. She was wearing…well, underwear, he supposed, if one was the conservative sort. It was one of those bodysuits Steph had DM'd him, but he could never parse out if it was a hint for the next gift-giving occasion or if she just wanted to show him hot women in goth lingerie. The bodysuit itself was mostly translucent black, with twisting snakes slithering around the waist and breasts. Cass's stomach was almost bare under the fabric, but an ornate diamond shape clung above her belly button. She was wearing pasties. Tim could feel something very embarrassing happening to him under the table.

“Oh my God, you sexy creature!” Steph squealed. She very openly felt up Cass's waist and twirled around her to appreciate a 360 of the bodysuit (or, Tim thought painfully, what parts of it were visible above her jeans). “Tim! Say something!”

His throat felt dry. This was his punishment from God for asking Cass to take off a hoodie he could mostly live without. “I'm dying,” he said, “you're killing me. You're too beautiful.” It was very possible he would die in this diner crushed between Cass's femme fatale bodice and Steph's ample chest. There were certainly worse ways to go.

Nevertheless, as soon as he had his hoodie back, he threw it over his head and melted into the thick fabric. This time it was scented with Cass and the shampoo she shared with Steph.

Oh. Oh, this brunch was going to be torture.

#Timstephcass #Stephcasstim #dc fic #dc fluff #Saltwaterwrites #batcest #stephcass #timsteph #timcass

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@hpsaffics feb 3 - time loop - 1117words

aka fem bartylus in their bonnie and damon from season 5 of vampire diaries arc (i made myself cry with this but also i'm on my period so who knows ksfjf)

“Hey, look,” Barty says, her head popping up over one of the grocery store shelves, “The small, pickled corn cobs you like so much are on Sale.”

Regulus doesn’t have to look up to see the shit eating grin stretching her lips as she holds up the jars of pickled corn with the impossible to miss, red SALE stickers that have been there for every single day of the past 3 months. She simply rolls her eyes and turns to grab an OJ out of the cooler, like she does every Saturday morning. Regulus believes in keeping a weekly and daily schedule in favor of not going insane, thanks a lot.

There’s a noise across the empty store that sounds like Barty put two of the jars into the shopping cart.

Regulus sniffs, ignoring the flutter in her stomach as well as the sting deep inside her ribcage.

She goes about filling her own cart methodically, absentmindedly listening to Barty mucking about wherever she is. Humming under her breath, bags crinkling, the sounds of the cart clinking against stuff. Barty has great spatial awareness in any situation except for the grocery store. 

Regulus still feels last weekend in the tender bruises along her Achillies heel. If bruises stayed that long she’d have enough evidence from a year ago to build a real case. They do not, however, so Regulus is just left with the knowledge of it and that hollow feeling in her chest like someone had a big scoop and Regulus’ heart was a tub of Ben & Jerries.

She continues down the aisle in a bit of a daze. Eggs, oatmilk, protein bars, Earl Grey, Spaghetti and Fusilli because Barty is a fussy shithead that won’t eat other forms of pasta.

They meet again in the snack aisle, Regulus rounding the corner and finding Barty curled over her cart, studying the back of a honey puffs packet.

She’s gnawing on her bottom lips, rosy mouth pursed to the side and the line between her eyebrows deep and pulled low beneath her fringe and Regulus watches some of the longer brown hair slip over her shoulder and to the front. The round muscle is bare, freckled, and so are her arms because last week Barty made it her mission to go through Evan’s closet and cut off the sleeves of his every one of his t-shirts. 

Regulus had been furious. 

She misses him desperately. Pandora and Sirius, too. The very first night she’d slept in her best friend’s bed, clad in one of Sirius’ softest shirts. Regulus doesn’t remember a time she’d wept herself to sleep so harshly. 

Barty had come and gotten her after 32 hours of refusing to leave the room and dragged her into a shower before plopping her down on one of the kitchen bar stools and making pancakes for her. Whipped cream and blueberries on the side. And then she’d left to go wherever it is she goes every single morning after breakfast until she’s returning for lunch.

She slips the strand of silky straight hair behind her ear now and then glances up when Regulus advances farther into the aisle.

Their eyes meet for a moment, mint and blue gray, clashing, getting caught in each other. Hooks sinking in, ripping at the entangled spots, and when Regulus finds it in herself to break away she feels raw. Chafed. A hotly throbbing ache. Burning.

Regulus looks around in the shelves but she isn’t really seeing any of the things. It takes a moment and then she’s taken aback when she genuinely can’t find the Ritter Sports party mix. It should be right in front of her, nestled between the Kinder stuff and the no name rows of chocolate bars. There’s an empty space on the shelf where they should sit and Regulus blinks at that spot in confusion.

Before she can do more about it the cold metal of a shopping cart grazes Regulus’ naked calf, jolting her and making her look up at Barty where she’s come closer, still lazily draped over the handle of her cart, now sporting an amused expression.

Her smirk is horribly smug and sitting a little lopsided on her unfairly beautiful face, “Lookin’ for something, Black?”

Regulus opens her mouth to respond but then Barty props her chin in one of her palms and cocks her head at an exaggerated angle, pointedly letting her gaze wander over the shelf Regulus is standing in front of numbly. And then up.

Regulus blinks again and then follows her line of sight automatically. She sweeps her gaze back around and up and then spots the chocolates where they’re perched on the very top of the shelf. Neatly set up over the row of Reezes there. 

All the way up there and impossible for Regulus to reach.

Her favorite chocolates.

Barty had taken the time to put every last of Regulus’ favorite chocolates on the top of that shelf with such care for order she’s never once applied to their pantry in the months they’d lived together back when they were a couple.

Regulus feels her browns knit, eyes burning with anger and when she looks over she watches the smile on Barty’s face turn wider. That’s about all Regulus is able to take.

Her chin starts crinkling and she feels her lips start to wobble despite the way she’s biting down on the inside of her lower one hard enough to draw blood. There’s nothing Regulus can do against the tears shooting into her eyes and the way her throat starts to clog up before, pathetically, a single sob escapes her. 

And then she’s crying. Full on, shoulders shaking with it and Barty’s smile falls.

She looks properly panicked and the cart gets shoved to the side, colliding loudly with the opposite shelf, and then she’s there to pull Regulus into a hug.

Her head hangs uselessly as she weeps into the crook of Barty’s arm and chest, deep heaving sobs as Barty cradles her head and holds her tight by the shoulders.

“Hey, hey,” Barty mumbles, voice strained, “I’m sorry, Reg, I’m sorry. I’ll get them back down.”

Regulus uselessly ruts her face into the naked skin, tasting salty shame in the corners of her lips.

“Every single one of them, I’ll get them all down, baby. I’m sorry,” she whispers, breath hot on the crown of Regulus curls.

Regulus finds her hands fisted into the material of Barty’s shirt, clutching at it numbly while she tries to swallow the sobs, “I hate you.”

Barty nods above her, “I know, baby,” and if Regulus didn’t know any better she'd think she hears shame and regret mixed into the words. “I know.”

#bartylus #fem bartylus #lesbian bartylus #hpsafficsfeb24 #hp femslash #femslash #regulus black #barty crouch jr #starkiller #slytherin skittles #regulus black x barty crouch jr #barty crouch jr x regulus black #femslash february #hp wlw #hp sapphics #female regulus black #female barty crouch jr #lune’s tiny fic #vampire au #the vampire diaries #vampire diaries au #Spotify

[jollyinha]

50 (+3) Facts About My Rook Listener (aka Félix)!

Because I love him in a hiperfocus kind of way 😭💙 If you want to see how he looks like, go to my yuurivoice tag, and you will find all my listeners! Although I probably should make an updated version, he has gotten a 2.0 version ever since... Also, tagging @itsargyle since they suggested taking other YV fans! I'm... Too shy to tag anyone else tho lmao

Anyway, here goes my big infodump on my favorite sunshine boy:

1 - Hey, I'm Félix Torres... Or not, because that's my middle name, and my actual name is Victor. But I'm not that fond of Victor, so I go by Félix!

2 - Victor was my mom's grandpa's name, and Félix is a tribute to my dad, whose name was Feliciano.

3 - Thanks to the acute accent, the correct pronunciation of Félix would be "feh-liks", not "fee-liks". Oh, and the "c" in Victor is mute. It's Vitor. But sometimes even I forget that it isn't supposed to be spelled like the gringos do, haha!

4 - My mom is Brazilian and my dad was Colombian. I was born in Brazil (Aracaju in Sergipe, to be more specific), but have been living in the USA for most of my life now. I used to spend the holidays in Colombia as a kid, but haven't been there ever since dad passed away... I really should pay it a visit again soon, though. It's a real nice country.

5 - I speak native Portuguese, fluent English and intermediary Spanish. I've been studying ASL (as of right now I just know basic stuff like "hi", "how are you?", how to introduce myself... But hey, at least I know the whole alphabet off the top of my head!) and French too, but it has been hard to find some free time... And when I do have it, I always end up drawing, crafting, cooking... Duolingo's owl wants to eat my ass.

6 - Speaking of which, these are my favorite hobbies! Drawing and painting are main passions in life, though. I've been in love with art as far as I can remember. I was in a few-years-long hiatus when it came to painting, only came back to it recently, but have been drawing non-stop ever since I was a little boy!

7 - When it comes to crafting, I enjoy many aspects of it... I've been really into papercraft these days. Origami, paper dolls, collages... But I also really like jewelry making and fabric painting (even if I find it so damn hard, haha!). I just love personalizing things in general. Sometimes, I see a piece of furniture, have an idea and just have to put my personal touch.

8 - I also know how to sew, but I can't say that I'm a big fan. I've tried crochet once, per example, and almost fell asleep on the couch. It's just a bit boring to me... But I'll gladly sew back a button or fix a hole if you ask nicely!

9 - And, last but not least, I love cooking! Not as much as I love to eat, but anyway. I picked up cooking as a way to deal with my pyrophobia and to bond with my uncle (he owns a restaurant!), and really took a liking to it... And modesty aside, I'm damn good at it!

10 - Speaking of which... I'm a bit of a bottomless pit when it comes to food! I'll eat (mostly) anything, am willing to try (mostly) everything and am hungry 24/7. Please, feed me.

11 - My favorite food is kind of specific, but: I love Thanksgiving pies. And breakfast foods. But anything that's chicken or has corn is also very damn good.

12 - I don't really like fruits. Most of them feel either bland (apples taste like NOTHING!) or straight up gross. I hate, HATE peach. Mango, guaba and pineapple too. Disgusting. I'm team vegetables all the way. Lemon and watermelon are the only ones that get a pass.

13 - My favorite ice cream favorite is chocomint!

14 - When it comes to drinks... I like coffee, as long as it has milk and unholy amounts of sugar (hate bitter coffee, as contradictory as it is). And while I'm not too big on alcoholic drinks, I like champagne.

15 - I also like biking, but, much like studying ASL and French, I don't have enough free time nowadays to really get into it again... But I try to bike every weekend I can!

16 - As a kid, I was in singing classes! I really enjoyed it and was pretty decent at it, but nowadays I do it just for fun. Love singing and listening to music around the house while doing other things.

17 - I have eight tattoos on total: Flower sleeves on both arms (featuring a clock among the flowers on the left arm and a bird on the right), music player symbols on the left side of my chest, "keep going" on the right side, an anchor on my upper back, a sun and a crescent moon on my lower back, a sea monster's tentacles going through my right hip and a paper plane on my left ankle!

18 - I also have a bunch of moles. On my face, on my back and on my chest. I used to be embarrassed by them, but nowadays, not nearly as much.

19 - I have been dyeing my hair blonde ever since college. I'm actually a brunette! I like being a blondie, but I'm considering going back to my roots... My hair is screaming for help. [He goes back to being a brunette and lets his hair grow after the events of Escape]

20 - Oh yeah, speaking of college... I have a Law degree. And am working on this field. Ya-hoo... Unfortunately, I needed a more lucrative career to support my family. But my long-term life goal is to be able to quit and live from art! And I like to believe I'm almost there.

21 - I pierced my ears in college too! I usually only wear my lucky sun earrings, but if I'm feeling fancy, I can go with a larger one.

22 - I considered becoming an English major for a while, but didn't happen either.

23 - I have a weird love for plaid jackets (of any color, but especially blue ones) and grungy bracelets. If you wanna give me anything that's wearable, going with either of these is the safest bet! Can't ever have enough of these!

24 - My favorite animals are octopuses (I had an obsession with sea monsters as a kid and this love never really died) and peacocks (they're just awesome)!

25 - My lucky number is sixteen, because my birthday is on February 16th, and because if you put "Félix Victor" together, there's a sixteen in Roman numerals right in the middle: XVI!

26 - Also, I'm 30 as of 2024, and... It's terrifying, to be honest. Buuut I'll find comfort on the fact that I look like I'm 20, hehe.

27 - This one will be hard to explain, but... I really like the sun. From summer to sunflowers to sun imageries... I like the sun. And all because of my dad. It's a long history, but yeah.

28 - I have a younger sister, her name is Alice! She's in college right now, she's History major! And... She's my pride and joy.

29 - And I also have five younger cousins: Ariel, Rafael, Leon, Joyce and Mercedes! I love them all, they're like my siblings. [Joyce is actually my Sunflower listener!]

30 - I... Have a... Weird relationship with my mom. It has been getting worse these last few years... Ah, nevermind, I shouldn't have brought this up.

31 - I had three relationships in my life... Well, three and a half, if you count that high school fling, but I digress: My first boyfriend lasted, like, half a year of my freshman year in college. It was nice, we just realized quickly that neither of us were serious. And my second boyfriend... Ergh. Tristan. We began dating in my junior year, and had a pretty messy break-up right after my graduation...

32 - ...But, nearly a whole decade after that, he sent me a DM on Instagram asking me how I was, and I mistakenly thought he became a decent human being. Hell, he was the one who got me my current job. He works in the Marketing department and was kind enough to tell me that Legal was hiring. I thought that we could at least be friends again, but... He's still a pain in the ass, at the end of the day. And still wants me back. ERGH...

33 - ...But, actually, I should thank him for that. Ironically, by trying to get back with me, he got me my third and current boyfriend... And... I won't talk too much about our relationship, but... This is the happiest I've ever been with someone. I mean it.

34 - Ok, how do I say this? I... Have been told that I... Have a pretty high libido. Or, if you want to be meaner, I'm a horny bastard. I... Will not elaborate if that's true or not. [It Is Literally Canonical]

35 - But even if I WAS a horny bastard, I'm a romantic at heart, believe it or not! I like being swept off my feet! I like flowers! I like cheesy pick-up lines! I like cuddles, god, I really like cuddles... Anyway.

36 - I'm a petite lil' guy. I'm 1m69cm tall... Or 5'8ft.

37 - I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was 20. I've been taking meds to help with my lack of focus, and it really has been helping.

38 - I also have insomnia. It isn't as bad as it was a few years ago, but it still sucks.

39 - My favorite song of all time is "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" by Foster The People!

40 - My favorite movie of all time... It's a tie between Footloose and Burlesque.

41 - My favorite animated movie of all time is Ponyo!

42 - My MBTI is ENFP, my Enneagram is 2w3, and I'm an Aquarius!

43 - In my opinion, my biggest strengths as a person are that I'm pretty charming, I can get along with nearly any kind of person (given enough time), and that I'm notoriously hard to piss off. As long as you're not messing with my loved ones, it takes A LOT to make me actually angry.

44 - And my weaknesses... Well, I let people get away with stepping all over me pretty frequently... And I'm very restless. And I don't mean only physically, I mean like... Mentally. I feel like I'm a shark: If I stop moving, I'll die, y’know? Oh, I've been told that I can be pretty shameless and a bit nosy... And, welp. I... Can't really deny that.

45 - I hate the cold. I hate winter. I hate snow. Fuck you, northern hemisphere.

46 - I really like sitting on the floor, ever since I was a little boy. It just... Grounds me. No pun intended.

47 - My favorite color is blue, but yellow and orange are also lovely... And I've been getting real fond of red these days. Hehe (Can't believe that it took me this long to say my favorite color, we're on fact 47th...).

48 - I'm a dog person! I never got to have one, though...

49 - I, not-so-secretly, really like cute things. I may or may not have a big octopus plushie on my bed. And may or may not love Pompompurin and Gudetama.

50 - I'm overall pretty confident on my looks... Except for my smile and my laugh. My ex-boyfriend (Tristan) once said that my smile is wide enough to be scary, and my mom said that my laugh is too loud, and I've been restraining myself from truly smiling and laughing out loud in public ever since. But I tend to let go when near people I trust.

51 (bonus!) - I have a very sensitive neck... Now, if I see it as a good thing or a bad thing... Depends on what your intentions are... If you know what I mean.

52 (bonus!)² - I'm also pretty great at typing. My words per minute game is insane, modesty aside.

53 (bonus!)³ - I... Can be a little bit jealous when I'm dating someone. I was never a pain in the ass about it, I mostly just sulk in silence, but... Yeah. It's my toxic trait.

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice listener #yuurivoice auron #auron yuurivouce #yuurivoice rook #felix (rookie)

[thebestofoneshots]

I’m about to go to bed (it’s 11:45pm for me as I type this) because I have fanfic issues (if I don’t stop now, I’ll still be awake at 4am, which is when you begin posting for the day on average) and I just wanted to ask you what your favourite food(s) are if you have any!! (Or even allergies, I love reading about the “mundane” things about people)

Hey darling! I totally relate to fanfic issues, I have stayed up that late too, I’ve got no self control either! But omg! You know the time that I start to post on Average?!?!?

That’s like so freaking sweet I’m honored ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა

And in regards of your question, coincidentally, I was thinking about it yesterday. And my answers would be:

French Onion Soup (it’s about the bread and the cheese and the savory taste omg now I want some)

Mexican Pozole (it’s another type of soup, this one is with pulled pork and corn and spices, topped with like radish and fried tortilla, it’s so freaking delicious, tho I eat it with so much lime)

Broccoli soup/cream, but with cheese (can you tell I for some reason, really, really like soup?)

And also a good New York or Ribeye Steak (tho I don’t eat them as often because I care for the environment)

I love strawberries, watermelon, cherries and limes (can you tell I like red fruits for some reason?)

And Chocolate Cake. I adore chocolate cake. I’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth ngl

And I don’t really have any allergies, but something mundane and a little silly is that I love bubbles. On elementary I made a project about them, and it just like cemented my appreciation for this little floating balls of soap. I just find them gorgeous, and relaxing for some reason.

#ask lilly #lilly talks

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Hey Theo! Really excited to see your captain Alcina post and all the naughty stuff sent in for kinktober, so I wanna start this off kinda sweet and wholesome.

Ladies favorite candy(yours and your partner’s included if your ok with it. Mine is butterfingers and Twix ice cream bars)

Favorite seasonal treat(mine is apple cider from hubers winery).

Hope you have a safe and fun Spooky Season!

Hello, dear 😊 I'm glad you're looking forward to it! It's just about done lol Just waiting for the motivation for the last scene to kick in 😅

But alright! Let's do this 👻

***

Alcina: Favorite Candy: Alcina's not one for most candies, but the Countess will never say no to some finely made dark chocolate. And if she's in the mood for something extra decadent, she'll gladly indulge in some imported cherry cordials. Favorite Seasonal Treat: I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that the Lady's favorite treat is her homemade seasonal wine 🍷

Bela: Favorite Candy: Much like her Mother, the eldest Dimitrescu is not overly big on sweets. She tends to go for more simple candies - peppermints, fruit slices and old fashioned ribbon candy being her favorites. Favorite Seasonal Treat: Pumpkin pie, especially traditional Moldovian ones 🎃🥧

Cass: Favorite Candy: The middle daughter loves anything sour. Lemonheads.. sour gummies.. the more sour the better. Her particular favorite being a candy called War Heads. Favorite Seasonal Treat: Unlike Alcina, Cass's favorite Seasonal treat is a spiced apple mead that only comes around in September and October 🍯🍂

Daniela: Favorite Candy: Needless to say, the youngest loves sweets entirely too much! So much so, that she would have a different answer of what her favorite was on any given day. She's always up for a packet of pop rocks, though! Favorite Seasonal Treat: Much to her family's dismay, Dani loves candy corn! 💥✨

Donna: Favorite Candy: Donna usually prefers to make her own candy. Her famous strawberry compote delicious surrounded by any type of chocolate. She does have a fondness for a certain amaretto trouffle that Alcina gets for her every Christmas, though. Favorite Seasonal Treat: Homemade pumpkin caramel affogato 🎃🍦

Sal: Favorite Candy: Sal is a fucking whore for gummy candies! But she will go absolutely primal over some gummy sharks. She finds them both humerous and delicious. Favorite Seasonal Treat: She loves, loves, loves to make her own pumpkin cupcakes each fall! Especially with a fresh cream icing 🦈🧁

Miranda: Favorite Candy: Fucking hot balls. Straight up, no buffer. Favorite Seasonal Treat: She finds anything pumpkin flavored repulsive. She may occasionally have some hot apple tea made for her, but that's about as festive as she gets 🔥🍵

And as requested!

Me: Favorite Candy: This is hard because I'm a slut for candy 😅 But here we go.. sour patch kids strawberries, Twizzler pull n' peels, old fashioned (soft) red licorice, neon gummy worms, tootsie rolls, and caramel m&ms. Favorite Seasonal Treat: Brach's mallowcreme pumpkins, Little Debbie's pumpkin delights, warm apple cider, and Cheeto's Bag of Bones!

My Partner's: Favorite Candy: (keep in mind, they're from Germany) Happy Hippos, crumbling fudge, and sherbert lemon. Favorite Seasonal Treat: Federweißer (basically a sightly alcoholic, lightly carbonated fruit juice that only comes out at the end of September/beginning of October in parts of Germany)

This was fun, dear! Thanks for requesting it! 😊♥️

#depravity answered #hoodedkitten144 #resident evil village #alcina dimitrescu #lady alcina dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #donna beneviento #genderbent sal #mother miranda #demonofpuns #kinktober #softober #this was so wholesome and fun 😊 #halloween 🎃 #re8 headcanons #re8 asks

[manicpixiedreamcurl]

I was making coffee and just pictured Eddie bouncing around the kitchen in the morning when Wayne just gets home for the weekend and he’s even more energetic than usual when he hands Wayne his mug “I mixed in the hot coco powder with your coffee to make it extra festive, gonna call it the Munson Blend” and Wayne without missing a beat deadpans “boy that is a mocha”-🪀

BOY THAT IS A MOCHA!

First of all agree one million percent that Wayne is a hard truths father figure and he delivers that news by calling Eddie boy all the time. Early days of Eddie learning guitar: "Boy you need to practice more." Eddie swearing he's never taken drugs: "Boy you are a dirty liar." Eddie adding the first patch on his jacket: "Boy you are shit at sewing."

They love eachother sm.

But ALSO you have stumbled on a long running Eddie headcanon of mine cause Wayne works nights??? So Eddie's making himself dinner and teenage boys are a menace for just eating whatever shit they can all together so you're right Eddie throws cocoa powder in coffee and goes oh hey pretty good actually but he also crumbles cheese and onion crisps (edit: have been reliably informed by @sillypurplemurple that the American equivalent is sour cream and onion and that fits the vibe so we'll go with that) on packet macaroni cheese & calls it a garnish + for texture. He eats absolutely wild pizza combinations cause during a growth spurt he was just shoving whatever was in the kitchen on an oven margherita (this is tinned pineapple, anchovies, jarred jalapenos, frozen corn, the list goes on). He's a regular little (mad) chef.

He always tries to introduce Wayne to olive and pineapple pizza but he can't quite get him on to it. First time he makes you dinner it's box macaroni and he unveils a packet of crisps (chips) from under a tea towel (kitchen cloth idk what it's called other places) and calls it the piece de resistance and you have to physically fight him to stop him adding it while he's giggling away like "babe, it's sooooo good I proooomise!!!!"

#he's a menace i adore him #eddie things #🪀 anon #ask

[lazypanartist]

One Mikey × Starsick hot n ready! I hope you enjoy and you feel better!

-📝 nonnie

---

Michelangelo had everything planned out to a T.

The youngest was going all out. He had a very nice human disguise all ready to go, a fun jacket and shirt, baggy cargo pants with straps here and there, some old high tops, and a sunset toned beanie. He was going to take you to the museum of natural history during a slow day with no big fancy shows to bring a sudden influx of humans who might discover him, so he could focus on hanging out with you. The museum had a section with a planetarium, something he knew you'd love. 

He'd get you something from the gift shop. He looked online, and had several plushy ideas, but goal 1 would be the astronaut.

Mikey then had a reservation at Run of the Mill Pizza for after your trip to the natural history museum so there was a guaranteed table. He made sure to expressly tell Hueso that this was a date, and to please for the love of everything keep his brothers out while you were both there. Not that he didn't love his brothers! No, he loved them all deeply.

He just knew they'd want to spy and pry and mess with him on his date.

The two of you would have a delightful night either eating regular OR exotic pizzas, whichever you would be up for. Then, when you both were full and lazy, he would take you back to your apartment and you would cuddle up watching old sci-fi or space adjacent movies and shows. He had the full season of Stargate S-G1, The Little Prince, Passengers, and even Event Horizon, all thanks to his craftiest brother hooking him up. Each a different flavour of the stars for whatever you might have been craving.

(He almost got Interstellar, but Donatello steered him VEHEMENTLY away from that choice, decidedly declaring it Not Great.)

Now, this wasn't the first time you hung out together- far, FAR from it. But, it would be the first Specifically Romantic Date you both had, the two of you testing the waters to see if you could handle the jump from Friends to More Than. He had asked you honestly last week if you would go, making his feelings abundantly clear, and you seemed shy but excited at the prospect. If he didn't know any better, Michelangelo would think that maybe you harboured some feelings for him.

…Wait.

His brain malfunctioned briefly, face hot at the idea that maybe, just maybe, you really really liked him back. Should he ask you?

…He would wait for now.

Regardless! He had this date planned exceptionally well!! He had everything in order, and a little earlier than he thought you would on Date Night, you texted him.

His brothers were all nearby to give moral support before he went out, Leo reminding him to just relax, Raphael instructing him to use his finest manners, as if he wouldn't! …But he was glad he was reminded about opening doors and pulling out chairs and keeping his elbows off tables. Donatello had of course been the one to provide him with his watching material, claiming he asked "a friend" for some good recommendations, but the softshell also gave him his free spending money for the date.

(...For a cost. He DID have to help with some minor testing in the lab for it. Fish would apparently STILL taste like creamed corn for the next 2 days.)

His brothers all watched as their youngest pulled out his phone, eager for his first date with you to go well.

They also watched as their little brother's face fell, a look of dejection and worry replacing the excitement that was just there.

"Uh oh. What's wrong Miguel? What happened??"

Mikey swallowed nervously, pocketing the phone. "They uh. They're sick. And cancelled."

The den went quiet for all of 5 seconds before erupting in shock and anger.

"What!! No way, this is too last minute. What did it say exactly?!"

Mikey felt his eyes spin as Donatello shook him. "Uh. It said 'Hey, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cancel. I have a cold.' Those words exactly."

Donnie's face creased in worry as his mind whirled. Raph stepped up next, arm slinging around the youngest. "Now, it's okay. You can always reschedule! It'll be alright lil bro."

"Are we sure they're sick?"

Warm tones looked over at the cool toned twins. "Whaddya mean?"

Leonardo crossed his arms and looked over at Don, the two having a similar thought cross their mind.

…Could you be flaking because you didn't want to be with their brother? Couldn't see yourself being with 'aaalll this'?

Maybe they were just a wee bit protective, but this all sounded AWFULLY convenient if you wanted to mess with the youngest.

"...I'm just saying, maybe call them, yeah?"

Mikey picked up on their mistrust and, while he wanted to scream at them that you would never…the mutant had his insecurities. Anxiously, with your contact still open, he called you.

It rang once before you answered.

"Hu'lo…?"

The four turtles winced almost audibly. Yeah, you were definitely sick, your voice was cracked and dry like the desert earth.

"Hi! Hey, are you okay? You said you were sick?"

"Mhm…" You rasped, rolling over on your back. "I think it's a cold. Hurts a lot. Sorry Mikey, I really wanted to go. I hope you didn't have big plans…"

Michelangelo's heart squeezed at how pitiful you sounded. "Well, I did-"

"-Nope!! He had no big plans at all!"

"...LeonAdo…?"

Whoops. Raphael shoved the red eared slider away. "Hey! Sorry, Mike told us you were sick and we got worried. Wanted to uh, send a care package and whatnot."

Nice save!

Even your laugh sounded weak as you chuckled at his eldest brother's mother henning. "You guys are s…sweet. Sorry. Hurts to swallow…"

Donatello stiffened. "Can you give me your symptoms?"

"Mhm. Sore throat, fever, fatigue, achey…hurts to talk and swallow…"

"Mh, you haven't coughed once…I need you to go check something. Find a mirror or use your phone camera and see if there's any red or white spots on your throat or tonsils. You'll need to open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out."

You gave an exhausted "okay" and they could hear you shuffle off away from your phone.

"Yeah they're sick, and if they're spotty, it's strep. Which means they've been taking the wrong medicine for it." Donatello sighed. "It also explains how it cropped up so quick." 

Right on que, you came back stating you had blisters and spots. Suddenly, all of his brothers had their own idea of what you could need in a little get well soon package. 

Donatello had a handle on medicine, making sure to get you some anesthetic throat spray and antibiotics. Even if you didn't HAVE a cough, you could cough, and it would feel utterly awful and probably make you bleed or pop…eugh. Yeah. None of that. Leonardo knew a few home remedies that Splinter made when they were little. It wouldn't be as good as the medicine, but the honey, cinnamon and lemon concoction would soothe your throat and peppermint tea would be good for you. Raph got together some stuff for a quick potato soup and crackers, as well as apple juice, worried your body might be going through feast-or-fast due to your sickness.

Mikey straightened his mask some. Sure, his brothers were giving you goodies to fight off this virus, but he had an even better plan to help you.

–

You jolted awake from your 3rd nap so far to something outside your landing knocking into a chair. Tiredly, you got up and shuffled to the balcony door and opened the curtain, making sure to slip a mask on before.

You blinked slowly, brain processing the sunny mutant standing on the other side. "Michelangelo…?"

"Hey hey! Doctor Mikey's in the house!" He grinned behind his own cloth mask, waving energetically.

"What about Dr. Feelings or Delicate Touch..?" you lightly joked, stepping out of his way.

The terrapin waved you off as he slipped inside, setting the duffle bag he had on your floor. "Those are more Emotional doctors. Doctor Mikey is here to help you feel better!" He gently led you to the couch and sat you down. "Now! How are you feeling?"

"Bad," you wheezed. "I keep getting heat flashes and my bones and throat just…Hurt, man."

Your friend could absolutely tell you felt miserable. Your eyes were glossy like Perceus's shield but dark as the depths Cetus swam through. Nothing like the bright sparks they normally were, cautious and curious and always for him.

You couldn't see it, but felt his frown. "That's awful…well! No matter, I should have just what you need!"

You watched the box turtle dig into the bag he brought along, pulling out Tupperware and boxes of tea before finding his prize, a bottle of tablet pills, some painkillers, and a spray bottle. "Now, nurse Donnie-"

"He will turn you into 100% water if he hears you called him nurse."

"Hush, he's tried that already. Anyways, Don says that you need to take these once a day and you can spray your throat twice every 4 hours. It'll numb it so you can ingest stuff better!"

The grateful look you gave made the butterflies in his gut kick into gear. Michelangelo passed over the three objects and watched you stiffly take the antibiotic and tylenol before using the spray. "Thank you. Let him know I appreciate it." You sighed. "Throat feels so much better…"

The mutant was elated at how quickly the medicine worked, and he went flitting about your home, albeit a bit nervously, getting more stuff gathered as he made you rest on the couch. He didn't want to be spotted by someone who wasn't supposed to see him. "Sooo…where's the fam?"

"Out." You rattled out, looking over to the window. "For a while. Mom's visiting my uncle in the hospital and helping my aunt with the niblings, and Ma's work transferred her to New Jersey for a bit."

"Wow, I think that's a hate crime."

You barked a laugh, which made you bones and brain hurt but you didn't mind. "I said the same thing…!"

"So who's taking care of you?"

You rolled your eyes, grin not leaving as you motioned to yourself in grandeur. "I'm a big kid, I can take care of myself."

Wow, that had to be the saddest thing he heard all day.

The box turtle hid his frown and went about gathering blankets, pillows, all manner of soft cozy things for you to curl into on the couch in front of the tv screen. You were watching crappy daytime television, something he was keen on fixing quickly.

"Are you hungry?"

"A bit. I've been iffy with food."

Michelangelo nodded and grabbed the container of soup from his go bag, snagging the tea and other concoctions that had been shoved in. He made you half a bowl and brewed two cups of the mint tea, bringing it out in your favorite matching mugs, setting it all before you before taking a seat in the recliner nearby.

He watched as you slipped your mask off, taking a bite of the potato soup, only to gain a puzzled look.

"You didn't make this?"

"Ah! No, it was Raphael! How could you tell?"

It didn't taste like his love. There was love, yes, but not Michelangelo's. Raph's was warm like embers, comforting and cozy like a blanket during a snowstorm. Mikey's was like a brilliant sun beam, catching cathedral windows and flashing all colours and shapes.

"Mh, you add more salt."

You got a laugh from the youngest as you kept eating, watching as he took his mask off as well to sip tea with you.

"You're gonna get siiiiick…"

"Psh, please. My immune system is great!"

"Whatever you say~"

The two of you ate and drank mildly, once in a while chatting about the other brothers and mission or laughing at whatever your cat Félicette did that was silly. It was easy, it was calm.

Guilt was eating you alive.

"I'm sorry I ruined our date…"

Mikey looked over, the string he held forgotten as Félicette pounced on it and tore off down the hall with her kill. "What?"

"Our date. I uh…Heh, I kinda really messed…everything up, huh…?"

Mikey frowned. "No, you didn't. You can't control that. You can't control, like, getting sick."

You sighed, staring into your tea.

"...Would you be mad if I had been the one getting sick?"

"What?"

"If I had gotten sick, and cancelled, would you be mad?"

"No…?"

"Then why should I be mad?"

You opened your mouth once, twice, before sighing and looking away.

Your ninja friend got up, mask slipped back on and moved to the bag. He then grabbed one of the movies and threw it on. However, instead of going back to the recliner, he plopped on the couch next to you.

"I'm not mad you're sick. Promise. Now! Have you seen Event Horizon? Don says it's good."

You smiled a bit, leaning your head on the terrapin's shoulder. This was easy. Familiar.

You loved this.

What you DIDN'T love was your nerves eating away at you. He had to have planned something, right? Leo said it was nothing, but…

Your artist…datemate? Boyfriend? Currently just a friend but testing the waters for more? Anyways, he was drawn into the horror movie quite easily, his eyes drawn to every little detail and hint about what was to come. He seemed to be really enjoying it, despite him clinging to you with every stressful scene.

"...So, uh. What did you have planned?"

"Mh?"

"The date." You looked down at your half full tea, now gone cold. "You uh…you had plans. What were they?"

"Well, I was…Uh, gonna take you to get pizza. Watch movies like…now, eheh."

"That's it?"

"Maybegototheplanetarium-"

You hand dragged down the side of your face. "That sounds so sweet…ugh, I'm-"

"Don't…!"

"But I am! I'm sorry! I feel awful knowing you had something nice planned and I ruined it!"

Orange turned to face you directly, making you shrink back a bit. "You did. Not. Ruin. It. We can go some other time! Look, we're having our date now!"

"But-"

Three fingered hands gently grabbed your own, mask covered eyes boring into yours as his obscured mouth continued.

"Why do you think I should be mad at you? Why is it okay for me to be sick and cancel, but you have to hold yourself to a much higher, much more unfair standard?"

Your standards for yourself seemed to reach the stars themself, dooming you as a cosmonaut to burn alive before reaching them.

"Because you deserve someone who doesn't mess up the first date!!"

(You deserve better than me. I'm not the best and you deserve perfection.)

Angrily, Michelangelo ripped his medical mask off and yanked yours down, pulling you into a bruising, emotional kiss. He pulled away after a moment, huffing angrily at you.

No…not anger. Frustration. Frustration that you don't treat yourself like you treat others- with care and understanding.

"Y…Mikey, you're going to get sick..!"

He kissed you again, before peppering your cheeks with more.

"There. We both messed up."

Your very, very warm face screwed in confusion. But he could see curiosity spark in your eyes.

"What? No, you didn't, that was- Mikey, you're a really good ki- no, I mean, didn't even get a chance to kiss- YOU'RE GOING TO GET SICK!!" Flustered, you quickly pulled your mask back up.

"First off, my immune system is great, so if I do, then there's no way you WOULDN'T have gotten sick."

"Michelangelo…"

"And two! You're not supposed to kiss on the first date. So I messed it up pretty bad, probably as bad as getting sick."

You opened your mouth to deny that he did so, tell him he didn't ruin the date, but if you did, you'd be admitting that your sickness didn't ruin it either.

The youngest could see when his ruse clicked, your eyes brightening like Polaris and Andromeda were held in them. He had you caught, and as you rolled your eyes, he knew you couldn't help smiling.

"Okay, okay, sorry-"

"You…!"

"For being hard on myself!!"

Michelangelo grinned brightly, his joy warming you like a red dwarf star.

"I think you should apologize to yourself. And try to be more fair, okay?"

The mutant's eyes widened as you pulled your mask back down and kissed him sweetly. "Okay. Have to say, pretty good for a bad first date."

–

You held the backpack tightly, filled to the brim with goodies and soups and movies galore.

You WERE supposed to be going on your second date with your favorite turtle, buuuut…

"See! I told you I wouldn't get sick!"

You couldn't help the unimpressed look as you stared at Raphael, who sheepishly waved while sipping some water before wincing. Donnie was passed out on the couch, apparently too fatigued to make it to his room. Leo was spraying disinfectant cleaner all over himself, not wanting you to re-catch your strep throat. Splinter holed himself up in his room after shotgunning what you were positive was pure honey and lemon juice.

"Yeah, but you spread it to literally everyone else in the lair." Sighing fretfully, you put a mask on. "Come on, Doctor Mikey. I'll heat up the veggie soup if you start on getting them all some medicine."

"Roger that, Doctor Datemate!" he beamed.

🧡

Doctor Datemate and Nurse Donnie, lmao 🤣 We can tell who he's trying to actually get along with 💕

Just. Love how the rest of the turtles send things with Mikey to help you ^-^

#kana's chats #📝 anon #rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise mikey x reader

[1-sasha-stuff-1]

Into Another World - Mha x Reader

Chapter 5: Welcoming Package & Shopping

A/n - Hello, and here is another chapter for you guys, hope you enjoy ^U^

Key:

f/c - Favorite color

s/f/c - Second Favorite color

f/g - Favorite game

| | | | | |

I’m sitting on my bed and playing with the ring on my finger that Shinsou has given me. A few weeks have passed and its now March 31st and it’s been a while since the run-in with Bakugo and (to my pleasure) I haven’t seen him whenever I go out. I also still talk to Shinsou whenever I’m not busy and we talk about the most random things, but we usually just send each other cat memes. He tells me that Corn Flake is doing just fine, even though he’s on the verge of life and death. 

Hearing the doorbell ring, I go downstairs to see who it is as always, my parents are out of the house. (dad and mom are at the construction site where my mom's store will be)

Opening up the door, no one is seen but a fairly big rectangular package is on the ground in front of the door. Grabbing the package, I close the door and lock it up again as I look over the package, seeing if it was mailed for my mom or dad. As I found the package label, it wasn't mailed to either of my parents, but it was to me.

Going back upstairs and sitting cross-legged on the rug on the floor, I begin to open the box.

Opening the package, I found two things, a bag of clothing and a letter. 

Reaching for the bag and ripping it open, I lay out the clothing seeing that it’s similar to my old junior high uniform but different colors, it being black and my old one being a cream white and a bright blue.

Taking out the letter next, I also rip it open.

Dear Y/n L/n,

Aldera Junior High is pleased to have you joining our school!

This is your ‘Welcoming’ kit, inside you will find your school uniform, schedule, the school rule packet, and ect., whatever you will need for this year at Aldera Junior High.

This school year will begin on April 5th of ####.

As principal of Aldera Junior High, I am honored to have you be a part of not just a school system, but our family. 

We hope to see you soon!

Sincerely,

Mr. Camburn

“Family my ass...” I mumbled to myself as I placed the letter aside and took out another few sheets of paper. The first one was my schedule while the second one was the things I needed for this year. Setting those papers aside with the letter, I practically pull out a textbook of just paper. 

Wanting to know what it was, I read the cover as my eyes pop-out.

Aldera Junior High Rule Book

“There's no way in hell these are all the rules...” I thought as I skimmed through the textbook of rules and ended up throwing it aside with the rest of the things. Gathering everything up, I set all the papers on my shelf above my bed and my school uniform right next to it. 

And that when I finally realize something, and my eyes grow wide as I double check if I’m right by looking over the welcoming letter twice.

“I start school in five days?!”

| | | | // The next day, April 1st\\

| | | |

In the kitchen, mom, dad, and I sit around the table eating breakfast. 

“Hey mom?”

She turns to look at me, “Yes Y/n, what is it?”.

“I got a package from the school I’m supposed to go to, Albera Junior High or something like that.”

“Oh, it arrived! I thought that it was going to arrive earlier, and I got worried! Did your uniform come in?”

Nodding and swallowing the remaining food I had left in my mouth I take my plate to the sink and begin to wash it.

“I also got the welcoming letter and the supply list.”

“That's great! So, when do you start?” she asked as she also picked up her plate and dad’s plate as they both finished and set them aside for me to wash them.

“The 5th, like, in four days.” I say as I hear a gasp behind me. After washing, drying, and putting the dishes away, I turn to see my mom grabbing the keys from the counter and her phone.

“Um, mom. Where are you going?” Without answering my question, she begins to talk to my dad.

“Haru dear, I’m going out with Y/n for her supplies for the day.”

“That’s fine by me dear, I’ve already had plans to get on an online meeting with my coworkers from Tokyo.”

“Perfect, Y/n, go get your supply list! We are going shopping!” she says with her eyes practically sparkling with joy of getting to have time to spend with her daughter for the day. 

Nodding, I go upstairs and graph the list and my phone. I turn on my phone to see that Shinsou has texted me and so I text him back.

[•Toshi•]  

Wyd?

[Hornet]

I’m about to go out shopping, when do you start school?

[•Toshi•]  

I’m starting tomorrow, u?

[Hornet]

Could never be me. 

April 5th

[•Toshi•]

Lucky

[Hornet]

Ikr, like imagine starting tomorrow.

[•Toshi•]

Shut up

[Hornet]

No, u

[•Toshi•]

Shut up or I’ll make u

[Hornet]

Ay yo? 🤨 

That’s kind of…. 🤔

[•Toshi•]

You have such a dirty mind.

[Hornet]

That’s not my fault.

Anyways, ttyl, gtg

Exiting the messaging app and turning my phone off, I headed downstairs as I heard my mom yell out to hurry up. 

Finally downstairs, I walk out the door and get into the front passenger seat with my mom in the driver's seat as she exits out of the driveway and towards the city once again.

| | | |

//Out on the streets of Musutafu\\

| | | |  

After parking the car, mom and I both get out of the car and walk down the streets to find where to get my supplies. 

“Alright, let's go to that store over there, we can get most of your things there and then we can get the remaining things somewhere else, alright?” she says as you nod and you both head into the store.

As you two enter the store, a phone begins to ring and it was my moms, she answers the phone with an annoyed ‘what?’ and her face then becomes serious. Hanging up, she looks back at me apologetically.

“Listen, it's a business up from Tokyo and they want to talk to your father and I up there in person right now in about an hour or so.  I’m sorry, here.”, taking out a black card and handing it to y/n. As y/n takes it, her eyes are practically popping out of her sockets, and she looks back up at her.

“Where and how did you even get this?! Aren’t like black cards cost a lot of money?!”

“Y/n, you always have to be prepared for any occasion, now, just use that card and type in the code on the back of it on the number pad once you pay for your stuff, I have to go, be good, okay? Bye!” She briefly hugs you as she turns back and out the door she goes. 

Looking back at the card in your hand, you quickly set it in your pocket that your leggings had so you won’t lose it and begin to look around for the supplies you need.

| | | //30 minutes later\\

| | |  

Leaving the store, you had most of the things in the bags that you now carry. Laughing to yourself, you remember the face that the cashier gave to you as you paid with the black card and the faces from the people behind you. They were all shocked as their jaws dropped to the floor.

As you're walking, you see another store and go in, seeing that this store might actually have notebooks and a calculator as the previous one didn’t. Entering the store, you're greeted, and you greet back to the cashier and begin walking down the aisle. 

Having thought that you won’t be finding either of the supplies, you find some notebooks and grab them, and after heading off to another two lanes down, you find the calculator you were looking for and head towards the cashier and pay for your things. After paying for your supplies, you head to the mall.

//At the mall\\

The mall was crowded, for it was a very popular mall here in the city but you still went in anyways. Looking at all the different stores, you find shoe stores, food courts, food venders, bookstores, and a ton of other stores. 

Looking to find one specific store in mind, you find it in the middle of a sports store and Hot Topic, the electronics store. There you enter and find a lot of phones out for display, tablets, headphones, and much more. Heading off to the computer section, you look around to find a computer since you don’t have one and the last one you had was long gone. 

Finally, you found the perfect one. It was a nice laptop with a f/c on the outside and a s/f/c once you open the laptop. Calling over a worker, they take it out for you, and you head over to the headphone section to select some f/c headphones.

After finally selecting your computer and headphones, you head towards the cashier and wait in line as a lady is attending a customer. Pulling out your phone, you start to play a game of f/g as you wait your turn.

“Sorry ma’am, but your card declined.”

Looking up from your phone, you see the cashier lady talking with a woman. The woman looked around her mom’s age, but she was shorter and had her green hair in a half-bun with the rest of her hair down her back and bright green eyes.

“O-oh, it has? Um, let me see if I have cash really quick...”

The said lady looked through her bag, and as a few minutes passed by, some of the customers behind me started to mumble out ‘what's taking so long’ and ‘can’t she go any faster?’. The cashier seemed to hear and see this as she looked at the women in front of her and gave her card back.

“Ma’am, if you can’t pay, just leave the things here.”

The green-haired women looked back up and returned the computer and phone she has in her cart and sighs.

“Alright, I’m sorry. Here-”

“I’d like to pay for your things!”

The women and cashier both looked at me as I said those words, stepping up towards them, I started to reach for my pocket until the green-haired woman stopped me, waving frantically.

“Oh no, no, no! Please don’t waste your money on me! I’m fine, really!” ignoring her plea, I took out the black card from my pocket and handed it to the cashier.

“This should be enough to cover both her things and mine.”

The cashier's face went white as her eye popped out and the green-haired woman's jaw seemed to drop to the floor as the cashier took the black card, swiped it, and gave it back to me with the receipt. The rest of the people behind me were silent.

“H-Have a good day you two!” she says as I help the green-haired woman with her bags and we both walk out the door.

As you both leave the store and place the bags on a nearby bench, you smile and say ‘goodbye’ at the woman until she stops you by grabbing ahold of your arm.

“You really shouldn’t have done that for me!”

“No worries, ma’am! I don’t mind at all.”

“Please, at least let me repay you, what’s your preferred way to get money back, through the bank system? Don’t worry, I’ll write a check!” she says frantically as she begins to talk a lot.

“Really, it’s okay! And please don’t pay me back! It’s really fine, don’t worry about it!” you say while waving your hands at her and she relaxes and smiles.

“Thank you, um...?”

“Y/n L/n and you are?”

“Inko Midoriya. Well, thank you L/n. You really shouldn’t have done that though,”

“No problem Midoriya-san! Really no biggy, well I have to get going. So, it was nice meeting you!”, turning away, you begin to walk only to be stopped again.

“How about you come and have dinner tonight? As a thank you.”

Taking a moment to think about it, you don’t see why not.

“Alright! I don’t see any harm in that offer, let me just call my mom to see if it’s okay with her.” Inko nods as you take out your f/c phone and call your mom. After a few rings your mom answers, but she sounds like you disturbed something important. (because you did)

“Y/n, I’m busy at the moment, what is it?”

“Is it alright if I have dinner over at a friend's house?”

“A friend? You made a friend? Who is it? You know what, tell me later once your father and I come back home, and yes you can have dinner at their place. I have to go, bye.”

The sound of you being hung up by your mom rings in the air for a moment and then silence. Looking over in front of you where Inko stood with the bags at her sides, you smile.

“My mom said that it was okay of me to come over for dinner! What time would be fine for you to have me over?”

“Oh, um, around 5:30 if that’s alright.”

“Yup sure it is! I’ll be sure to make it there!” you say as you begin to finally walk away but it dawned to you that you have no idea where they live. Sure, you’ve seen the anime and where the Midoriya’s lived but not the exact location, plus if you did know without her telling you, that would be a bit creepy. 

Turning back to face her, you scratch the back of your neck and awkwardly smile at her.

“I don’t really know where you live so could you write down the address for me, please? Haha…”

| | | | | | | | ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/n:

Made up the principles name.

#for you #all for one #bakugo katsuki #all might #dabi #fanfic #hitoshi shinsou #mha #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #izuku midoriya #aizawa shouta #shouto todoroki #shigaraki tomura

[softsnzstuff]

I love your writing and I'm glad you're part of this little corner of snzblr where I live.

Eddissy Headcanon. Chrissy thinks it's cute how sneezy Eddie gets during ragweed season and always carries an extra pack of tissues for him. She also pets his hair and massages away sinus headaches.

❤️ Bewitchedfeathers

Aww thanks for reaching out! This idea is so cute!!! Please enjoy this Edissy Drabble ❤️

*******************************************************

Chrissy arrived at the Munson trailer wearing her cream sweater and red skirt. She had a pumpkin patch date with Eddie today and was so excited. She knocked on the door and waited.

She heard a muffled, “h’MPTCH!” Before the door swung open, “Hey babe! I- hitchiew!! snF tsschiew! I’m so happy to see you!”

Eddie brought her into a hug as he rubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his flannel.

“Me too, Bless you! Ready to go?”

“Yeah!” Eddie nodded and hopped in his van, Chrissy sitting in the passenger seat. “What kind of pumpkin are you looking for Chris?”

“I want a cute one.” She pictured a perfect, smooth pumpkin with a small stump.

Eddie chuckled, “A cute one” he mimicked. “I wanna find one that’s snFF the best for carving! I think I want to carve some bahhh b- H’tsssciew! Issshew! H’Nxxt! Bats…”

The strawberry blonde reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Bless you. Bad allergy day?”

The older boy didn’t move his wrist from in front of his nose, “yeah, the ragweed is killing m’be today.”

Chrissy rummaged around in her purse and pulled out the travel sized pack of tissues she kept on hand for her boyfriend. She plucked one from the small pack and turned to hand it to him.

Eddie’s eyes were watering and his breath started to hitch. She pressed the tissue into his hand just in time.

“HIH’TSCHMpt! HNNGtchew!” He blew his nose, one hand still on the wheel, and coughed slightly.

“Poor guy. Are you sure you want to do this today?” She knew his allergies would only get worse once they got out to the pumpkin patch.

“Yeah! Of course. A few sneezes won’t stop Eddie the Banished!”

A few minutes later they were pulling up to the field. Kids were running around picking pumpkins, lining up for the hay rides, and trying their hand at the corn maze.

“Chris, we HAVE to do this corn maze!” Eddie shouted, grabbing her by the hand and running. “You try first!”

Chrissy started to walk through, looking for open paths. 9 times out of 10 though, she was met with a ten foot tall wall of corn stalks. She heard a rustle behind her and jumped slightly, turning around to be met with an empty wall of corn.

“GOTCHA!” Eddie jumped out and grabbed her from behind, leaning back and lifting her up as she kicked her legs.

“Eddie!!” They both laughed as he put her down.

The two exited the maze, Eddie only stopping to stifle into his shoulder twice. Once they reached the pumpkin patch, they took off looking for the perfect pumpkin. Eddie found his quite fast, a very big pumpkin with a twisty stem and warts on the side.

“Babe this one’s perfect!” He laughed as he made his way over to Chrissy who was looking at a few different small options.

She knelt down and picked one up. “What do you think of this one Eddie?” She called over her shoulder. No response. “Eddie?”

She turned around to see that Eddie had put his pumpkin on the ground and was fighting back a sneeze. He pitched forward suddenly, one hand on his knee and the other a fist in front of his mouth.

“Heh Nxxt! Nxxt! Hih H’NXXT!”

Chrissy lay her hand on his back rubbing circles as he bobbed with each near silent sneeze. “Eddie I-”

He held up a finger to pause her. “Hehh Not dhhh- done. NGtsschiew! AGKtssiew!”

He straightened up but swayed on his feet slightly. Chrissy wrapped an arm around his waist and used her other hand at his elbow to steady him. “Here, sit for a minute. I’m gonna go buy our pumpkins and we can leave. I’ll drive.”

She sat her boyfriend down on a small wooden bench that was up against the fence bordering the pumpkin patch. Eddie felt the small pick of tissues being pressed into his hand as she jogged off to pay. He thought it was so cute how she carried these on her 24/7, just for him.

Chrissy made it back in record time, finding Eddie with his elbows resting on his knees, punching the bridge of his nose. “You okay, Eds?”

He looked up at her and grabbed one of her hands. “Yeah. Just a sin’dus headache.”

“Well let’s get you and your cool pumpkin home then and I’ll give you a massage for that headache.” She smiled and he smiled back.

“You’re too good to m’be, Chrissy Cuddinghab.” He swiped at his nose with his one free hand and stood up.

Still holding hands, they made their way back to the van with the pumpkins, Chrissy taking the wheel. “Do you need anything?” She asked Eddie.

Eddie turned to her with red eyes and nose swollen. He held up the small pack of tissues and kissed her forehead. “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

#fall prompt #e/ddie m/unson #s/tranger t/hings #c/hrissy c/unningham #edissy #i hope y’all like fondue #because #this ending is CHEESY #kb writes #ask box

[the-proship-hellhole]

Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:

Have you ever been to Earth?

In Earth we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, your and I agree, and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you, and anyone whose brain has been scrubbed repeatedly with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You are an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherf-ing ZONES going in that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A F-CKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming hopelessly trapped in the godd-mned cliarnto cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all f-cking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE F-CKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it to and bite down in it lengthwise like a f-cking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a f-cking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY F-CKING WAY to take a bite out of your craptastrophe and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can't guessanything, because I'm pretty sure you just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some sh-t into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what.

Humans also don't eat burritos like f-cking corn on the cob. Like a f-cking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time, then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT'S JUST GONING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN F-CKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE F-CKING CHEESOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NO ANOTHER F-CKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a f-cking pack of Lifesavers.

And don't even think I'm going to open this sh-t up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY F-CKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT'S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU F-CKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO F-CKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SH-T BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What's that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON'T WANT TO DRINK MY BURRITO THROUGH A F-CKING BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion: You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID "JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK:"

A f-cking fork?

I DIDN'T ORDER THE F-CKING CORNBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone handed me a burrito with a fork THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That's like buying a car and having them hand you a f-cking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERF-CKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SH-T, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're called f-cking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven't cried since I was six, but I'm f-cking sobbing now.

People way burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

Did...

Did you literally send me the whole burrito rant as a copy-pasta?

Omg anon. That's beautiful.

~ Mod Niecest

#mod niecest #burrito rant #burrito copypasta #copypasta

[wrongydkjquotes]

“Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to Earth?

On Earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today.

Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherf*cking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A F*CKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all f*cking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE F*CKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a f*cking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a goddamn pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY F*CKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a f*cking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN F*CKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE F*CKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER F*CKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a f*cking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even f*cking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY F*CKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU F*CKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO F*CKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY F*CKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

AND FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A f*cking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE F*CKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a f*cking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERF*CKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called f*cking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m f*cking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.”

- Schmitty

(Source:

#ydkj #you don't know jack #wrongydkjquotes #the burrito post #burritos #schmitty #josh schmitty schmitstinstein #tw food #long post