Lose Somebody - JJK - x to lovers
Pairing: Jungkook x Ex-Girlfriend Reader, all boys have gf’s in this fic
Tags: Ex boyfriend Jungkook, camping with friends, exes to lovers!
Genre: fluff, mutual pining, smut but you gotta squint, angst
Wordcount: almost 26k
Warnings: fighting, strong language, smut, it’s kinda angsty throughout
Summary: It had taken you two years to get over a guy you hoped to never see again and taking a break from college to meet up with your friends to go camping seemed like the perfect way to get your mind off of things. If only there hadn’t been the boy who messed you up in the first place.
A/N: GUYS THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY I AM SO SORRY!!! I gave myself a deadline and I’m so happy I managed to do it! Beware, I have the flu so the end is edited but also, no guarantee it’s gonna be well edited 💀I really hope you love this Jungkook as much as I do! It’s so angsty, it’s so cute. I loved this one so much.
Also you can kind of listen to lose somebdoy by kygo and one republic (:
Massive thank you to the best people a girl could ask for: @cultleaderyoongi and @bangtan-madi - my little helpers that help me sort out all those ideas I have in my brain! Thanks for always reading my shit I love you guys ✨
Tapping your pen onto the paper in front of you, you watched the hand of the clock ticking by in a painfully slow motion. It reminded you of how much longer you had to stay in class before you were able to join the rest of your friends who had already set out to the camping trip everyone had been planning for a very long time.
All you could think of was all your luggage in the back of your trunk, ready to be taken to the campsite, six hours from where you were right now. Dipping into the lake, eating good food around the campfire and having drinks with your best friends Jasmin and Madison, friends who had made all of this possible and you couldn’t even really be mad at them for continuously extending the list of people supposed to join. Especially when it came to camping, it was only going to get better the more people there would be.
Bouncing your leg up and down you took a deep breath and tried to focus on the last lecture of the semester, the last forty-five minutes before you were able to head out.
“Excuse me, [y/n]... Are we boring you with this topic?”
The sudden mention of your name made you snap out of it and brought the heat right to your cheeks, looking at your professor with an embarrassed look on your face.
“No, no. I’m sorry.” you mumbled quietly and sunk deeper into your chair, closing your eyes embarrassed.
Listening with all the willpower you had left in your brain, you eventually gave up after another ten minutes had passed and pulled your phone out under the table.
With a chuckle you pushed the phone into your front pocket on your sweater and turned your attention back towards the hand of the clock, seemingly ticking even slower now just to mock you.
The abrupt ending of the class and everyone getting up at once confused you so much, you sat there for a moment and had to collect your thoughts. Only then you realized that it was finally time to back your things and get into the car.
With an ecstatic feeling you couldn’t help but keep the smile in, grabbing all of your stuff without paying any attention to the wrinkled up papers under your grip, sprinting out to get into your car as fast as possible. Something about the great weather and low humidity called to you and you were sure this was going to be the best vacation you had been on in a long while.
Madi was going to be there with her boyfriend Namjoon, both of them had been one of your closest friends for a very long time, as were Jasmin and her boyfriend Yoongi. The girls had brought the boys along a long time ago and after they had joined the group of friends it was impossible to think of doing anything without them.
Although you were going to be one of the very few singles on the trip, you really didn’t mind. Nothing about this group of friends could ever make you feel uncomfortable and thinking about diving into the cool lake with all of your best friends made you almost forget about the dreadful six hour drive.
But after the windows had been rolled down and all the good songs from the ‘road trip’ playlist had been played twice, there was nothing that could keep up the positive mood you had been feeling for the first two hours. Along with the grey clouds covering the sky, your mood seemed to dim a little more with every hour passing by.
As it was getting late and the darkness had already caught up with you, still having a bit more than an hour to go, your phone started ringing.
Pressing the button on the steering wheel you accepted the phone call from your other best friend Jasmin.
“What is taking you so long?” she got to the point immediately and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“The worst part about a six hour drive is the six hour drive, you know?” you replied sarcastically and could hear the little snort on the other end of the line.
“But seriously [y/n]. How much longer you gotta drive? I hate to admit it but it’s not as fun without you. Although all the drunk-heads over here are trying really hard to make it fun.” The settle sound of yelling was audible in the background and with a smile you tapped your thumb on the stirring wheel.
“I know, I’m hurrying. Little over an hour and I’ll be there. But it looks like it’s going to pour sooner or later just so you guys know!”
“Yea we’re just starting to get it all into the tents and into Yoongi’s camper.” she replied. “Alright, drive save then and I’ll see you in a bit, yea? Stay awake!”
With a smile you said your goodbyes before hanging up and after taking a deep breath and hearing how much fun they were having you felt the excitement creep up inside of you. Tonight wasn’t going to be wild but it was going to be so fun to see everyone.
Wondering who else was going to be there and if their boyfriends had invited people you haven’t met yet you hoped for a nice group of people and just as you got caught up with thinking about who could’ve joined them, the sky started opening up and rain started pouring down so hard, you had to hit the breaks hard and slow down the car.
Driving carefully, there was nothing that seemed to stop the rain and as you had to drive half of the speed limit in order to stay safe, the hour had turned into two hours fairly quickly. You were way too late and as you arrived way past midnight, you even had trouble getting onto the camping site, having issues seeing any cars or tents in the pouring rain.
Just as you had spotted the big camper parked further way in the distance, a bright lighting strike lit up the entire camp and lake surrounding it. Although you could feel the fear creeping up inside of you, the sudden burst of light helped you with your orientation and driving over to the campsite you flashed your lights a couple of times before texting Jasmin and Madi, hoping one of the two would creep out of their cozy covers to help you out in the rain.
The sudden worry about your sleeping arrangement was creeping up in the back of your mind and as you tried to call Jasmin for the fourth time without any reaction, you saw a figure crawling out of a tent, standing under the awning of the tent. Madi was waving at you and with a bright smile you drove up as close as you could, desperately trying to keep your way as short as possible.
Madi jogged through the rain, jumping into the car and slamming the door closed.
“That was a very aggressive entry.” you smirked and Madi rolled her eyes, followed by a bright smile and as you bent over to hug her in, you felt the wet hoodie on her back.
“Ew.”, you laughed and she smiled at you.
“Right so Namjoon is staying at his friends tent so you and I can share, we’re going to figure out the sleeping situation tomorrow and put up your tent but for now just get your sleeping bag and whatever you need and then we can chat a little bit. We’ll figure the rest out tomorrow, ok?”
After she finished her little speech, it had only taken the two of you walking one time to get the sleeping bag, sleeping mat and your duffle bag into the tent and although it had been a short trip, you felt like you were already soaked down to your bones.
“One hell of a weather to go camping, huh?” You chuckled and started rolling out your mat and sleeping bag to get everything sorted and once Madi was tucked back in her sleeping bag you got out of your wet clothes and put on some pajamas, cuddling into the tent next to her.
Something about the howling wind and thunder roaring was scary but the enclosed space of the tent made you feel way more cozy and comfortable than you would’ve thought it could. It had only taken a couple of minutes of chatting and catching up before the both of you had fallen asleep completely knocked out form all the efforts of the day and not even the thunder roaring over the campsite at night could’ve woken you up.
As you turned around, stretching quietly in your sleeping bag, you opened the zipper slowly to stretch your leg out of the heat of the enclosed space. The air outside was freezing and after only a couple of seconds you pulled some leggings and a big oversized fleece sweater out of your bag, putting all of it on and taking your toiletries, you headed over to the sanitary rooms you had passed the night before.
The floor was awfully muddy and you were thankful for the sudden moment of clearness yesterday, making you pack the Doc Martens you were wearing now. Nothing would’ve been worse than walking around in nothing but sneakers in this muddy, wet mess.
After you got all freshened up, looking presentable again, you made your way back to the campsite and after throwing your toiletries back into your bag, you joined Jasmin sitting on one of the camping chairs outside. She was looking at you without showing the slightest inclination of getting up or moving and you just chuckled at her and nodded, leaving her time to wake up completely.
Turning the little water boiler on and making yourself a cup of instant coffee, you watched all of them crawl out of their tents one by one and you were happy to realize that most of the faces were faces you had seen at least once before, saying hi to all of them one by one.
Most of them were in couples and you had at least seen one of the two somewhere around at a party or birthday before so the fear of being the only one out seemed to subside slowly but surely.
Sitting on the camping chair an hour later, everyone was already in a seemingly good mood and the arguing and joking in the circle of chairs had already started, was going on full capacity as you heard Namjoon comment on something behind all of you, crawling out of his tent slowly.
Turning around on your chair you looked at him and were only able to see his untamed hair for a second before he put on his beanie quickly.
“Slept well, princess?”, you chuckled and as Namjoon walked over to give you a hug and as he bent down to do so, you were able to see the boy behind him crawling out of the tent a second later.
As soon as you had seen the top of his hair as he was bending down, your heart had stopped only to continue twice the speed. At first you weren’t entirely sure if your assumption was correct but your body’s reaction was a strong indication of the right hint and as he was done putting on his thick combat boots and pushed himself up to stand, your eyes met.
The sudden feeling of your heart dropping into the deepest pits of your stomach seemed so overwhelming you broke the eye contact after staring at each other in shock for a moment. How could you ever forget those big doe eyes, making him look like you had shot him right in the chest. You turned around and took a sip of your coffee, meeting Jasmin’s eyes who was yelling at him to come over.
“This is Jungkook who wasn’t able to build up the tent by himself. So maybe don’t try and get married to him he’s not going to be able to fix anything around the house. Jungkook this is [y/n].”, Jasmin mocked him and Jungkook didn’t react to her bickering at all, trying hard to focus on the hot water on the table and seemed suspiciously determined to find a cup for himself.
“Ok.”, you smiled and replied to Jasmin, your thoughts running wild all of a sudden although you tried to stay calm and not let anything show.
The last person you had expected to see was Jungkook. It had taken such a long time to wipe all of the memories out of your head, so much so you would never have thought it possible for him to be part of the camping trip. But the sudden confrontation stirred up all those emotions you had so carefully tucked away since the break up and the sight of him alone threw you for such a whirl, you almost felt physically nauseous.
“Everything ok?” Madi had pulled the chair next to yours a little closer and taken a seat and with a smile you met her eyes, nodding, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort.
“Just still a little cold.”, you smiled and pulled up your nose into a little scrunch. The sudden realization of what this trip just had turned into made your heart feel heavy and you even debated driving home, wondering what kind of excuse would seem plausible.
“Jungkook is a good friend of Namjoon and the others and it’s his birthday this week so since all of his friends were here and he didn’t want to come, we managed to talk him into joining and celebrating it with us.”, Madi explained smiling and you nodded.
Of course his birthday was this week. September 1st, like you could forget that day. It hurt every year. Giving him a quick glance as he wasn’t paying attention, you could tell from his posture and the way he looked around how distressed and almost anxious he seemed to be by the sudden shock. He genuinely didn’t seem to have known.
The fact that both of you were thrown into the most uncomfortable situation like this, having to see each other constantly after such a hurtful breakup, really distressed you. None of them could have known since you hadn’t really talked about him much but it had taken the past two years after the breakup to forget the three years of relationship the two of you had shared.
Staying as far away from you as possible, Jungkook was talking to the other boys standing at the entrance of the camper Yoongi had just appeared in and after a couple of minutes of chatting, all of them made their way over to the lake to explore the campsite a little more.
“What are we going to do about the tent? I can’t put a tent up on the floor like that? Is there any space in any of the tents?”, you asked and Madi wiggled her eyebrows meaningful.
“Jungkook’s tent has a free spot.”, she mumbled and nudged your elbow with hers, wiggling her eyebrows in a meaningful way. With a fake smile you shook your head.
“Except of.. his.”, you replied, unable to even say his name out loud.
You could see Madi hesitate for a moment before talking again “I mean Namjoon could stay with him and we can share...”, she offered to be a good friend but you knew that she wanted to share the tent with her boyfriend, and rightfully so.
“You can’t sleep in the camper either or I would’ve offered.. All the stuff that can’t get wet is on the extra bed and we don’t have any extra space for it.”, Jasmin stated and with a deep breath you finished the last zip of your coffee.
“We already told him yesterday that he may have to share, he’s okay with it. And who knooows maybe you’ll get along?”, Madi smiled again and you simply nodded.
He definitely would NOT be okay with this now that he knew who had joined.
“What about the car? I can just sleep in the car?”, you replied and Jasmin frowned at you.
“Why are you being such a sissy about it, he’s a nice guy and your only option right now until the floor has dried a little bit. It won’t be for long.”
You were just about to reply a little more stern as a voice behind you made you close your mouth.
“It’s fine. It’s a five person tent, we don’t have to sleep right next to each other.” Jungkook had pulled the chair farthest away from you a little closer to the firepit and started to put some more logs on.
Looking at him after hearing his voice for the first time that directly you nodded and the long glance he gave you, his face just as hurt as yours, broke you inside.
“Okay.”, you mumbled quietly and turned your head away, unable to have a conversation with him yet.
The breakup had been caused by a number of things neither of you seemed to have had any control over. Moving because of college, being too young to know any better, growing apart and each of you feeling like the other person wasn’t doing their part. It had been mutual, technically, only the massive fight that had made it all blow up and both of you never speaking again hadn’t been mutual.
It seemed to have broken not only you, but also him and the fact that you had never stopped to think of him in this, startled you. You didn’t like that about yourself at all and you made a mental note to talk to him some time along the trip. His birthday was coming up on Tuesday so you planned on not talking to him before that. He was supposed to enjoy his time and you didn’t feel like ruining even more between the two of you.
“[Y/n]...? Hey...” Madi ripped you out of your thoughts and as you turned your head still half in thoughts she couldn’t help but laugh at your expression.
“What? Sorry.” You smiled distracted as some of them had gotten up to start preparing lunch and Jin had offered a beer to you. With a headshake and a “Thank you” you declined his offer.
“I’ll, sort out my stuff.”, you nodded and walked over to Madi’s tent to pack up everything and carry it over to the tent Jungkook and you would be sharing for as little time as possible, hopefully.
“Which one is yours?”, you asked as you passed him, your voice quiet and overly careful.
Jungkook looked at you for a long moment before pointing at the big orange tent the furthest back, closest to the lake. With a nod, you pressed out a smile and opened the zipper. Throwing everything inside you sat down to take off your boots before crawling into the space and as you could see his neatly spread out suitcase on one side, his clothes folded on the side of it, the fact that he had even made his bed, you felt your heart hurt even more.
This was Jungkook, it was the same Jungkook you had shared a bed with for years and the worst part was, the entire tent smelled like him. It was his settle scent, something that had made you feel so at home for so long and after it had been missing, it left you unable to trust someone again.
The sudden confrontation with it all seemed so overwhelming, that you could only sit on the pile of your sleeping bag you had thrown in earlier and start crying quietly.
It was so chilly outside that the tears felt hot on your cheeks as they ran down and clenching your jaw you tried your best to not let them come but there was no way to stop them now.
You had been sure that everything was worked out, that you were able to continue now after all this time had passed but being confronted like this it only made you realize that you hadn’t dealt with it at all. All you had done was push the feelings away and now they were coming back to get you.
“Do you want me to move my stuff or is it ok like that?”
Jungkook’s voice behind you was alarmingly close and you instantly started moving, keeping your back faced towards him to not show how hurt and moved you were by all of this.
“It’s ok.”, you simply replied and started putting your bags to the sides of the tent just like he had on the opposite site, mindlessly reaching for stuff and organizing it in a way that didn’t make sense just to keep busy. For a long time there was absolute silence and you could feel that he was kneeling in the entrance behind you. You knew he was fighting for words but as you firmly kept your face away from his, putting the sleeping bag and mat down, you heard the zipper behind you again and as you looked over your shoulder to check, he was gone.
So much about this felt like a missed opportunity and at the same time you felt absolutely thankful for not having to deal with this right now. Feeling really exhausted physically and emotionally, you only were able to look at your phone for a little while after laying down before passing out immediately atop of your sleeping bag, still fully dressed.
Waking up once as the mood outside seemed to have lightened up, all of them being loud and rowdy, you saw the sun peek in through the trees, heating up the tent and after taking off the fleece sweatshirt, you rolled onto your side again only to drift off to sleep one more time.
“I don’t know she’s been sleeping all day. Maybe she’s getting a cold?”
The voices at the entrance of the tent only trickled into your awareness slowly and the more you thought about it, the more you seemed to leave your dreamy daze.
“[Y/n]? ... Hey. Are you alright?” Jasmin sat in the opened tent, looking at you, dimly lit from the lights behind her outside, the sky outside dark by now.
“Yea, why wouldn’t I be?”, you mumbled and ran your fingers through your hair before sitting up.
“We were just kind of worried... you slept the entire day but we thought letting you sleep may be the best thing to do? Probably exhausted. I just wanted to see if you want anything to eat?”
The sheer thought of food made your stomach growl and with a smile, you nodded at her offer.
“Will be out in a minute.”, you smiled and with a smile, she left the tent.
Closing your eyes and wiping over your face once you pulled up your knees, still wrapped up in the sleeping bag, pulling it all the way to your chin as the zipper opened again.
Jungkook’s face appeared in the entrance and all of a sudden your body was tense and alarmed although you still sat sunken in and cuddly in your sleeping bag.
“Sorry, I just need a few things.”
His voice was careful, his eyes only darting to yours quickly once before he crawled over his bed to get a hoodie and socks out. You noticed his bare feet and his now dirty fila slippers outside, remembering how much this guy enjoyed his slippers if he was somehow able to wear them.
“Your foot is dirty.”, you mumbled as he sat on his butt, ready to put on his socks.
“Huh?”, he looked at you questioning, astonished that you had even spoken.
“Your foot. It has mud on it.”, you explained and pointed at the bottom of his foot.
Jungkook pulled in his foot to inspect it carefully before letting out an annoyed sound of disapproval.
Turning, you reached for your disinfectant wipes, handing them to him.
With a hesitant look Jungkook nodded and reached over to grab for the wipes. Only now you saw his tattooed hand and wrist and as your eyes trailed over his hand and back up to his face, he seemed to avoid eye contact to not have to talk to you.
Looking away again, feeling a little awkward for just sitting there you opened up your sleeping bag and pulled out your legs, resting them atop of it to cool down a little bit.
“I... didn’t know you were going to be here.”, he broke the silence while cleaning his foot, still not looking at you and as you watched him wipe his little chunky toes, you couldn’t help but smile for a faint second.
“Sorry.”, you replied and Jungkook looked over, shaking his head a little bit.
“That’s not what I-“ he took a deep breath and closed his eyes “It’s just... it’s hard. I wasn’t expecting it. I don’t want to be mean but I can’t act like it wouldn’t do anything to me.”
The fact that he spoke up about his feelings so openly almost floored you. Jungkook had never been one to speak about emotions and although he had shown you the love he had for you in so many little ways back then, it had been impossible to get a conversation about emotions going, which had been cause of the big fight that had ended it all.
Startled, you looked at him and blinked a couple of times.
“I’m.. I don’t want to hurt .. you or anything.”, you stuttered a bit nervous. “I can leave if it’s that bad for you. It’s your birthday after all.”, you replied and as soon as the words left your mouth, you could feel how much it would hurt you if he genuinely asked you to leave.
Tears pooling in the corners of your eyes a little bit, you cleared your throat and started looking for that sweater again, keeping your hands and mind busy.
“I’m not asking you to leave, that’s not how I meant it [y/n].”
Hearing him say your name again caused the fragile guard you had put up so carefully over the years, to crumble into a million tiny pieces and there was no hiding the tear rolling over your cheek.
Jungkook clenched his jaw as he saw it roll down your cheek against the dim light coming through from the firepit and looked down at his feet and the one sock he was wearing. He knew how you felt, he knew exactly how you felt because he had the exact same feeling, only was he unable to let it slip past the mask he so carefully had put up.
What had shocked him the most was how beautiful you had been when he saw you for the first time earlier. It felt like you had evolved into this wonderful, bright person and the second your eyes had met, him being there had taken all that light away. It hurt him to be the one causing all this pain.
“[Y/n], listen...”, he started but you interrupted him before he got the chance to go into it.
“It’s fine, don’t worry.”, you replied and Jungkook looked at you with a hurt expression on his face. He could see you were fighting with tears and one of the things he had hated most was seeing you cry. Seeing those beautiful eyes turn red, bringing out their color even more. He hated himself for thinking you looked pretty while you cried.
“It’s good to see you. That’s all.” Looking at the hurt smile on his lips, you got caught up on the freckle under his plush bottom lip for a second, forcing yourself to look away as the old urge to simply bend over and kiss it softly kicked in. You had no right and you knew it.
As he put on his boots again and closed the zipper after exiting, you covered your face with both your hands and quietly cried for what felt like forever. Only as the others had started calling for you, you felt the panic of having to face them outside and so with puffy eyes and a runny nose, you exited the tent.
“What happened?” Namjoon’s voice immediately rolled over the camping site and everyone’s heads turned towards you, making you feel even more uncomfortable. The hurt look on Jungkook’s face wasn’t as bad as the moment he turned his head away to not have to look at you while everyone was around. The avoiding part was way worse.
“Just really hurt my pinky toe. Sorry, it’s good now.”, you chuckled and took a seat next to both of your girls who put an arm around you comforting.
After calming down and getting something to eat, you stayed quiet while the others enjoyed their campfire conversations. Jungkook watched you for a while. It was confusing to see someone you had once loved so dearly being so distant now and what confused him most, was to see his happy, upbeat self turn into a sad ball of insecurity when, technically, there was no reason to be that sad. It had been a decision and both of you had lived with it over the past couple of years so all the sudden regret now?
As your eyes had met across the firepit once or twice, he had given you a tiny, genuine smile and as much as it had thrown you for a loop with your feelings, you really enjoyed his gesture which felt like a peace offering to you. With a slight nod you smiled and Jungkook’s lips turned into a brighter smile before he looked back into the fire.
Feeling confused about the roller coaster of emotions you had been on over the past couple of hours you took a deep breath and tried to focus on the conversation you were having with Jimin about someone he had been on vacation with but losing track and concentration rather quickly you excused yourself and ended up going to bed although you felt like you had slept for years.
Just as you had taken off your sweater and bra, sitting in the tent absolutely top naked, you could hear the zipper opening way too fast as you panicked and reached for the shirt you had slept in last night.
“Wait!”, you exclaimed a little too loud and stern, the sound immediately stopping. Turning around in a hurry, you put on the sleep shirt as fast as possible before turning back to face the entrance.
“Okay..”, you mumbled, watching as Jungkook opened the zipper and made his way into the tent.
“You could at least like... knock or something.”, you mumbled.
“... on a tent...” His voice seemed amused and you were pretty sure the beers with the boys earlier had made it easier for him to talk to you and have you around.
“Well make a sound or something? I don’t know. Just don’t come in when I’m naked.”
With a smirk, Jungkook sat onto his sleeping bag and started taking off his sweater.
“Not like I haven’t seen that..”, he joked and with a slightly shocked expression on your face you slapped his arm halfheartedly at the cocky comment.
For a moment the two of you just looked at each other, both not sure if you were allowed to smile given the situation you were in, both of you feeling the need to do it though.
With a short laugh you shook your head and pushed down your jeans to grab the leggings out of your bag, putting them on quickly over the goosebumps from the cold air.
“It’s really weird, isn’t it?” Jungkook was taking off his crewneck he had worn under the sweater and as you stared at his bare, toned back which definitely looked way different than it had when you had last seen him naked, you were only able to stare at him with opened lips, not hearing a word he was saying.
As he turned around, you closed your mouth quickly, shooting your look up to meet his eyes.
“Huh?”, you asked and Jungkook frowned with a chuckle.
“I said it’s weird... Don’t you think so? So much hurt we went through and now we’re sitting in the same tent.” He chuckled as reached both arms into his t-shirt and pulled it over his head with a swift motion. You were only able to nod, staring at him way too obviously.
Both of you sat in the tent in silence for a while and Jungkook hesitated for a moment before taking off his sweats, crawling into his sleeping bag and laying on his side to look at you. He had his head rested on his prepped up arm and the look on his face wasn’t readable for you.
“So ... Namjoon said you had a crappy break up before you came?” His voice cut the silence so harsh out of the blue you were only able to laugh.
“You’re wrong if you think I’ll discuss ex boyfriends with you.”, you said a little salty and protective of yourself and Jungkook shrugged, watching you get into your sleeping bag as well.
“Being one myself, I could offer to talk about it all if you want to get something off your chest.” His offer seemed genuine and with a sigh you turned your head over to look at him.
“Not much to talk about. He left me for a seventeen year old girl who happened to look better in a bikini than I do while he was on spring break so... That was that.” You mumbled and turned your head back to the ceiling, taking a deep breath.
“I doubt that.”, Jungkook chuckled and only once the words had escaped his lips, he seemed to realize what he had just said. Turning your head to look at him, you noticed the red blush on his cheeks and with a chuckle you pulled the sleeping bag higher up to your nose, trying to hide that your cheeks felt just as flushed as his.
“Listen...” he turned around more “I don’t expect us to be friends after everything that has happened but call me crazy for saying that it’s nice to talk to you again, [y/n]. And for the record? If he cheated on you, then he’s a dick and you’re better off without him. So don’t be upset about it. You should be lucky you sorted him out and you’re not wasting your time. Moving on to important relationships in life.” With an encouraging smile he nodded and you turned your head again to face him.
“Do you think like that about us?”, you mumbled quietly and the sudden question hit Jungkook so full frontal, he wasn’t able to reply at first. Clenching his jaw he didn’t reply for a long moment and as the fairy lights that were hung up outside turned off as the others were getting bed ready one by one, the tent turned dark all of a sudden.
“To be honest? I think that breakup was one huge fucking mistake.” His voice was quiet and echoed in your brain like a recording. Unable to reply, you just stared the walls of the tent till your eyes had adjusted to the darkness of it all. “I think we could’ve been great...”
“Jungkook-“ you interrupted him a little more stern but his reply seemed strong.
“No I mean it. I think we did all we could back then, but if we were in that situation now I wouldn’t ... yea...”, he broke off the sentence and you had to sit up in order to look at him properly. He took a deep breath, the alcohol making his brain feel all dizzy with all the hard thinking going on.
“Wouldn’t have what...” You weren’t sure if it was good for you, but you needed to hear it.
“I wouldn’t let you leave so easily.”, he finished the sentence and although you weren’t able to see him, you knew that he was looking at you.
This Jungkook right here, was the Jungkook you had longed for so badly all those years ago. The caring Jungkook you knew he was, asking him to express his emotions, pushing him way too much towards something he hadn’t been able to do at the time. You realized that now, but now was way too late.
“Sorry.”, he mumbled and you could see a faint figure rubbing hands over his face.
“I appreciate you being honest and talking about it.” For a moment you weren’t sure if you should continue. “Do you want to talk about it more? I shut you off earlier, I’m sorry.”
“You know, it won’t do any good digging up all of this old crap and talking about it. We both said and did awful things from a place of hurt and I think we should just let it go and maybe try and just get along. I think we owe that kind of healing to ourselves.”
You smiled at his words. Something about them seemed so mature and wise you couldn’t help but feel connected to what he said. You wondered if the comfort and darkness of the tent, mixed with the alcohol made him say all of those things and if by tomorrow, the two of you would get back to barely speaking, but for now you were going to take it.
“Sounds good to me.”, you smiled again and put a hand hesitantly onto his arm for a slight gesture of comfort. Jungkook placed his hand over yours, squeezing it gently, acknowledging it and as you turned around to get back into your sleeping back, you could’ve sworn you had seen a faint smile on his lips.
As Jungkook woke up the next morning, he could tell it was still fairly early by the way the light still seemed like it hadn’t quite developed yet. Despite his efforts to turn around and fall back asleep, he somehow seemed unable to get any rest and after stretching long and hard and staring at the ceiling for a solid five minutes, waiting for his brain function to kick in, he turned his gaze to search for you.
Laying opposite him as he turned his head, you faced him, still asleep and Jungkook could see you resting on your stomach, hugging something in tightly, your cheek resting on top of it and with a frown he bent in a little closer only to see his fleece sweater, rolled up under your touch, tucked in between your head and arms as if hugging a pillow. Something about the view made him feel so warm inside and at the same time it seemed like the floor was collapsing under him and he was falling very, very deep.
Looking at your features, he noted all the changes that had happened over the years and with a weak smile, he realized that this was only the beginning of his problems.
Taking a deep breath, he rolled out of his sleeping bag quietly, in efforts not to wake you and quietly walked across the camp site to the sanitary rooms to get showered and dressed. On his way back, he saw Namjoon sitting by the lake and with a smile on his face, Jungkook turned to walk over to his friend.
“Awake already?”, he asked, putting his things down onto the gravel gently, careful not to get them dirty, and sat down next to Namjoon who was holding a pen and notepad. Jungkook shook his head and ruffled through his wet hair, looking at the notepad Namjoon was holding.
“Yea somehow couldn’t sleep. How about you? Why are you up so early?”, he asked while writing something down, scribbling through it and rewriting it again.
“I don’t know, man... I feel really confused at the moment.” Jungkook chuckled a little nervous, wondering if he should take this opportunity to tell Namjoon what’s been going on inside his head and how he’s been struggling but he wasn’t sure if telling him with everyone around was a smart move.
“Yea you seem a little off.” Namjoon started taking the bait immediately and Jungkook closed his eyes for a moment, well aware where this was going. Joon put aside his note pad and looked at him with a caring expression, the kind that made you tear up. “Want to talk about it?”
“Honestly? Not really? But also yes? I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”, Jungkook answered honestly and Namjoon nodded understanding, giving his friend the space and time he needed.
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know... It’s just. There’s some stuff I’ve really wanted to talk about.. for a while.. but I don’t know if dropping it now is very smart. It’s just a little weird at the moment, that’s all.”
Namjoon looked at him, trying not to push but the fact that Jungkook had been struggling with something for a while. The fact that he seemed to feel unable to tell him about it, made him almost a little sad. He didn’t push him any further and just looked at him, waiting for Jungkook to talk or simply get up and return to his tent.
“You’re not gonna stop looking at me like that, are you.”, Jungkook laughed and Namjoon joined in.
“I mean, I can. Just don’t want to miss that little frown that shows that you won’t talk about it although you technically would really want to. Making sure I don’t miss any signs.”
Namjoon chuckled and Jungkook joined in. The fact that Namjoon knew him better than he knew himself was crazy to fathom sometimes. Thinking about it the other way around made it easier for Jungkook to understand, because he knew Namjoon like the back of his hand.
With a deep breath Jungkook started.
“Right, brace yourself. This is going to be a depressing one. Do you remember the depressed phase I had two years ago?”, he got into it right away and Namjoon leaned back onto his arms, looking out over the lake with stretched out legs, enjoying the sun.
“Yea, I remember.” Namjoon simply replied.
“It was because of a break up.” Jungkook simple came out with the truth right away. No need to sugar coat anything if it was Namjoon he was talking to.
“A breakup?”, Namjoon sat up more and looked over to Jungkook, a little upset he never had a clue that Jungkook had been seeing someone back then.
“Yea. It was pretty bad and it messed me up because to this day I think it would’ve been ... It could’ve been the forever one, you know? Like the right one if we hadn’t been so young.”
Jungkook turned his head to look at Namjoon who only stared at him. His friend, who he had never seen in a relationship, who he had only seen with a few different girls every other week, never anything serious, always free and careless when it came to relationships, never tied down, secretly had a broken heart no one seemed to know about.
“Wait a minute.” Namjoon shook his head “You think you dated ‘the one’ and I didn’t even notice you were in a relationship? Why did you keep it a secret?” He couldn’t help his accusatory voice.
“I mean... I don’t know. I think that was part of the problem. At first it was fun to have it secretive but it was stressful and I just never mentioned it. And you and I weren’t the closest of friends back then... we only got really close after that low phase and the breakup so I just brushed over it.”
Namjoon turned his head from his friend to the lake, shocked by the news that he had dropped on him like a bomb. Of course there was no reason to be upset since it was Jungkook’s decision and he had every right to tell or not tell him whatever he felt like, but somehow he thought they would talk about those kind of things. How he handled relationships was nothing Namjoon had any saying in but keeping an entire relationship from him felt a little weird.
“Don’t be upset. See? This is part of why I didn’t want to say anything. You and I weren’t really friends back then and we only started becoming real friends as the relationship was already breaking apart. Maybe that was part of why I never said a word.” With a deep breath Jungkook started picking up tiny gravel stones, throwing them into the lake and watching the circles drag over the water surface.
“How come you’re telling me about this now? Why are you stirred up by it all of a sudden? It’s been over two years now, hasn’t it?”, Namjoon tried to understand him and watched the water surface break with every stone throw.
Jungkook laughed and threw another stone, this one dropping into the lake with a loud ‘blop’ sound.
“Because it was [y/n]?” His tone trailed off like a very hesitant question and he made damn sure to refrain from making eye contact with Namjoon.
The following silence felt like a rug pulled out underneath their feet and while Namjoon tried to process what just happened, Jungkook only tried to focus on his racing heart.
“I didn’t know Madi is friends with her. I’ve never seen her around or with this friend group ever, especially not since we’ve all gotten so close. Never in a million years would I have thought she was going to come here.”, he elaborated.
“Wait. You and [y/n]? For how long have you dated?” Namjoon stared at him open mouthed.
“Three years?” Jungkook replied subdued.
“THREE YEARS?!”, Namjoon exclaimed shocked and Jungkook slapped his thigh harsh.
“Shut up man! Don’t be so loud. I’ll kill you if you tell anyone. And I mean anyone, especially not Madi!” Jungkook looked at him in an almost threatening manner and Namjoon nodded quietly.
“Holy shit..”, he mumbled and Jungkook nodded in agreement, chuckling weak at Namjoon’s cursing.
“Holy shit indeed.”
“So, you still think she’s ‘the one’?” Namjoon broke the silence after a while. His tone was hesitant and careful, trying his best not to put any judgement in the tone of voice he was using and Jungkook threw another stone that dropped into the water, loudly this time.
“All I know is that if she’d ask me if we should try it again right here and now, I wouldn’t hesitate for one second. She’s always been so flawless to me. She could never do anything wrong in my eyes. I’m not even mad at her for the break up? I realized that yesterday. I’m not hurt about the breakup, I’m hurt by not being allowed to ... you know. Hug her and .. kiss her. And the worst part is, she got even prettier? She’s so fucking beautiful...”
Jungkook’s voice quietly trailed off again and Namjoon had to bend closer, looking directly into his face to make sure it was the same Jungkook that went through girls like others went through tissue papers.
“Have you... talked to her about it?” Namjoon tried to ask neutral.
“She cried when I tried to yesterday so she’s obviously just as thrown off and hurt by this as I am. Was when she came out saying she ‘hurt her toe’. I felt awful, man. She was in there forever and I was sitting at the fire with you guys, drinking my beer, knowing she’s crying and I had no right to ask if she was okay or even go in and comfort her, you know? It sucks so bad to be so close with someone and all of a sudden you’re not anymore.” Jungkook seemed upset talking about it and slapped a few of the pebbles onto the gravel around it a little angry.
“Fuck.. I don’t even know what to say.” Namjoon replied after a long silence and Jungkook nodded.
“Can you imagine how I feel?” He chuckled and looked over at him. “I just wish I knew if I should do what my gut tells me or if I should stay away from her. The last thing I want is to hurt her in any way.”
“You’re not going to know if you don’t talk to her about it-“
“What are you two sluts doing out here all alone and why am I not invited?” Jimin walked up next to them and Namjoon shot a knowing look towards Jungkook before smiling up to Jimin.
“Finally done sleeping? Are the others awake?”
“Oh yea, everyone’s up and grumpy. I swear to god, [y/n] and you are legit the female and male Jungkook version. She’s wearing all black and a bucket hat as well.” Jimin laughed and Jungkook only shot a knowing look in Namjoon’s direction before getting up.
“Looks like I’m going to have to get some breakfast and coffee in”
Standing over the poles of your tent you had put together, ready to assemble it between Jin’s and Jungkook’s tents, you could see Jungkook walking up from the lake towards you and a quick glance at his outfit made your cheeks turn bright red. You both were wearing the same kind of tight, black sweatpants, black large hoodie and a bucket hat. Of course you were, if there had been anything you had learned during the time you dated him, it had been the fact that you seemed to be a perfect match.
Although it had only seemed like you were.
“And here I thought Jimin was lying.”, he stated as he was almost at the campsite and you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he didn’t ignore the conversation the two of you had last night.
“If he said that you look better than me, he was definitely lying.”, you replied and Jungkook rose his eyebrows as he arrived and chuckled.
“He’d never say that, we share the same opinion when it comes to beauty.” Jungkook laughed and walked over to the tent to put his toiletries inside. With a confused expression you looked after him, wondering if this had been an obvious flirt on his account and if so, why?
Still confused you turned back to the tent, clicking the sleeping cabin of the tent into place on the poles.
“Need help with that?”, Jungkook asked as he walked over and you looked at him all little accusatory. He was being nice and there was no reason not to help but considering the history the two of you shared, his friendly demeanor seemed a little too over the top.
“What, you think I can’t put it up myself?”, you raised an eyebrow and grabbed the outer, pulling it over everything you had already set up. Without even acknowledging your comment, Jungkook grabbed the other half of it and helped you pull it over the poles, centering it perfectly.
“I know you can do it all by yourself. I also know that there’s no harm in accepting a little help sometimes. Don’t forget the couch incident.”, he whispered with a cocky smirk and bent down to put the pegs into the now semi dry ground.
“Ohoooo that’s all you’re going to bring up? Jungkook you’re such a di-“ You cut off as Yoongi and Jasmin exited their camper with suspiciously rosy cheeks and with a quick smirk playing over your lips, you looked over to them.
“Good morning. Done with the yoga I assume?”
Jungkook’s sassy comment made you snort at the attempt not to let out a laugh and putting both hands over your face you couldn’t hold in the laugh after seeing Yoongi’s slightly embarrassed face.
“Not my fault no one else is working out.”, he replied, trying to sound calm and collected and looking over your shoulder to Jungkook, he almost made you forget about the history the two of you shared. The light hearted jokes made it feel like you were only getting to know him for the first time and as he winked at you because of the Yoongi bickering, your heart dropped into a tiny pit in your stomach you thought you had lost the day he walked out the door.
It was a faint, warm feeling and a confusing one at that. Something about the warmth in your stomach made it difficult to focus and as you watched Jungkook work hard, putting the pegs into the floor, you just stood in place until he had made his way once around the tent, meeting you in the middle.
“Thanks for doing most of the work.”, he laughed sarcastically as he stepped hard against the peg, trying to push it into the ground before he jolted his head back a bit to get the hair out of his face.
With a deep breath you turned your head away, trying to cover the rosy cheeks of yours and as you felt like it was getting too difficult to hide, you made your way over to Jungkook’s tent to get out all of your belongings.
Something about ‘moving out’ upset you and although you felt like sleeping in one tent was a little overkill, it had been nice to be that close to him again somehow. Seeing his fleece sweater wrinkled up in your sleeping bag from unknowingly hugging it throughout the night, you felt your cheeks turning even hotter before throwing it onto his side of the tent quickly.
You had to put an end to this immediately since all of these things seemed way too close for comfort. There was no helping how you felt but you sure as hell weren’t going to be the one showing it.
After getting settled in your tent, you sat down on your sleeping bag, looking out through the opened door at the others who gathered at the campfire, watching Jin and his girlfriend cooking a very late lunch/ early dinner for everyone. The wine glasses and beers had already been pulled out and as the sun started setting, the mood seemed the most relaxed it had been since everyone had arrived. Someone had put on music on the massive speakers Yoongi had provided and it was gently trickling along in the background, making the evening seem absolutely perfect.
Getting a glass of wine yourself, you grabbed your camera and followed some of the others who were sitting on a couple of large rocks by the lake, watching the sunset. Walking up behind them, you quietly took a couple of pictures of them watching out over the lake and with a smile, you took a sip of your wine, standing next to them.
“So nice, isn’t it? It’s supposed to get really hot tomorrow so maybe we can actually go for a swim and not die.”, Jasmin broke the comfortable silence and with a chuckle you nodded.
“Yea that’d be great. Would be a shame if we wouldn’t be able to go in at least once.”, you agreed and taking another sip, pulling out the camera you started taking endless pictures of your surroundings, the people, some candid shots of everyone and eventually a few timed group photos after Hoseok had gathered everyone together in front of the lake.
“They actually came out quite cute.”, Madi mumbled, looking past your shoulder onto the camera screen as you went through all the timer pictures.
“Right? I think they’re all good.”, you nodded.
“Just a shame you’re on none of them except the group photo.” Jungkook appeared next to you, taking the camera out of your hands, lifting it up to his face.
“Nooo... stoooop”, you mumbled shy and lifted a hand to cover the lens, hearing the shutter click a few times regardless. “Jungkook..”, you said a little more stern but he only lowered the camera and smiled.
“One?” His pout gave you the rest and as you rolled your eyes in faked annoyance, trying to not look to hot and bothered by what his face was doing to you, you couldn’t help but look away with a smile. If anything, this was your camera and you were just going to delete them later.
Hearing Jungkook take a couple of pictures you took a deep breath and lowered your head again, reaching out to cover the lens of the camera and as you grabbed it to lower the camera a bit, Jungkook smiled at you brightly and only then you noticed that you had been smiling back all this time.
All of a sudden it felt like it was just the two of you and with a sudden faster beating heart, you slowly took back the camera he was offering.
“They turned out really beautiful.”, he mumbled and this time there was no way to hide the pink flush on your cheeks. It was out in the open and Jungkook, taking a quick glance at them, was fully aware now. His lips formed into a shy smile and as he buried both of his hands in the pockets of his sweats, pulling up his shoulders shy, he quickly turned around and made his way back to the camp, where Jin was calling for dinner.
Still thinking about what had just happened, a bright smile on your lips, you made your way back to the others slowly. You took your time putting the camera back into the car to keep it safe before joining the others around the fire, sitting on their camping chairs eating the kimchi fried rice that smelled heavenly.
This time you purposely took a seat close to Jungkook. Something about him made you want to be closer and maybe it was the third glass of wine you were holding, but you didn’t really feel like acting like you hated him anymore. Right now all you could tell was that you really didn’t hate him, even if you tried.
Taking a seat on the floor in front of him, you sat close to the fire to warm up your cold hands. It had gotten really chilly over the past hour and you felt like the heat burning off your face was not nearly hot enough.
“You good?”, you heard his voice behind you and as you turned to look over, he seemed to have bent down towards you, his head close to yours. “Do you need your Jacket or something? I can go and get it if you want me to.”
“I’m all good, thank you.”, you smiled nodding and turned back to the fire, eating your rice quietly.
As you looked up, you saw Madi and Jasmin sitting on the chairs opposite you, eyes squinted, the conversation clearly being about what was happening in front of their eyes. They didn’t know, so their smirking faces were leading you to assume they thought you and Jungkook were getting flirty.
Not ready to have that kind of conversation yet, you focused on your food, which really ruined the taste of the white wine in your glass.
Jungkook sat back in his chair and held over the bowl for another serving as he noticed Namjoon watching him. He gave him a quick smile and Namjoon nodded down towards [y/n] so lightly, none of the others could’ve noticed.
In return, Jungkook shrugged ever so lightly, nodding a little bit to let him know things seemed to be okay between the two of you, at least for now.
Sitting back again to eat his second bowl of rice, he watched your back for a bit as you turned to talk to Taehyung about work for a little while. Somehow he wasn’t able to forget about the pictures he had taken of you earlier.
Thinking about them for a while, Jungkook completely zoned out and didn’t partake in the conversations happening. Something about being inside of his head was comforting and the fact that you and him seemed to genuinely get along after deciding to scrap what had happened and move forward was so comforting, that he could finally relax and sit back to enjoy the vacation. He even seemed to be looking forward to his birthday now and wondered if you were dreading it? For old times’ sake?
Sitting in his chair, an arm raised above his head, his hand playing in his hair, he slouched a little deeper into the camping chair and as his knee touched your back, Jungkook debated on pulling it back for a second. He made a quick decision to leave it touching your back, and although he didn’t change his position in the chair at all, he felt tense all of a sudden.
The second he felt the weight of your back lean against his leg, his stomach seemed to tumble and tighten all over the place. Burying his face on his raised arm for a moment, he hid the smile creeping up on his lips and as he pressed his lips together to focus, he caught Namjoon’s smirk across the firepit.
Quickly raising his beer bottle to his lips, Jungkook took a couple of long sips to keep busy and just as he had started to relax and get comfortable again, the raindrops falling onto the ground silently at first, started speeding up, turning into an aggressive drumroll of droplets hitting the floor.
Everyone got up quickly, putting everything away into safety as fast as possible and after yelling a couple of quick good nights, everyone had disappeared into their tents.
For a second, Jungkook expected you to enter his tent only to realize that the spot beside him was empty.
With a deep sigh he brushed his hair back and dropped his arms, trying to let everything that had happened today sink in.
Hearing his phone buzz a couple of times he checked the screen only to see Namjoon had texted him a storm of texts and without looking at them, a big smile on his face, Jungkook put his phone away and got ready for bed. Unzipping the sleeping bag he used it like a blanket and enjoyed his freedom in briefs now that there was no one else in his tent. He would’ve gladly worn his sweats to bed though if it would’ve meant waking up to seeing you hugging his fleece jacket.
With his thoughts circling around the events of today, he eventually dozed off, snuggled into his sleeping back while listening to the sound of the rain.
He felt two hands on the back of his thighs as he was still in his sleeping bag and with a racing heart, he shuttered, scared, still half asleep. Turning his head around he could see a figure in the entrance, pulling the zipper of the tent closed and as he reached for his phone to tap the screen for some light, he could see your features in the entrance.
“Everything ok?”, he asked a bit hesitant as he sat up, rubbing his eyes and with a soft smirk on your lips you nodded, sitting down between his legs on the far end of his sleeping bag. The way you seemed to be biting your lips in the dim light, sent shivers down his spine.
“What are you doing...?” His voice was raspy, rough from just waking up and only now he noticed the neck of your shirt, loosely hanging over your shoulder, exposing a large strip of soft skin.
“I was thinking...” you mumbled as you scooted closer “Why make it so hard for ourselves? We both clearly feel the same way and I think I would really like to try it one more time - us. If you’re up for it of course.”
Jungkook’s ears seemed to be ringing as he watched your lips move, trying his best to filter every single word you had just said to him although it was hard to not get distracted by everything in sight.
“You-“, he started his sentence only to clear his throat and stop immediately as you moved closer, slowly taking a seat on his lap.
Jungkook sat upright, staring at you through the dark, finding your eyes in the dim light. His heart was racing and his breath was going fast, tickling over the exposed skin on your shoulder.
“Only if you want to... I’d understand if you wouldn’t want me back but... I think we had a lot of good times. I think we’re more mature now and you’ll always be the most perfect guy for me in my head. Whether you’re with me to try it again or not...”
The sudden touch of your soft, hot fingertips on his shoulder made him shudder with goosebumps and with a clenched jaw, Jungkook tried to hide the excitement in his pants from your soft touch, focusing on keeping a clear headspace.
“Of course we had some good times. Loads of them.”, he brushed his words and lips over yours after you had bent in, your arms around him, hands slowly playing with the curls on the nape of his neck.
“I think so too.”, you mumbled, your lips brushing against his softly once more and Jungkook took in a sharp breath, unable to contain himself any longer. Pushing against you all of a sudden, his lips pressed against yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly, pulling you closer against him.
He felt like he had waited all those months, years only to be able to have you that close again. Like all those girls meant nothing and it was just meant to be you and him and the feelings in his body as you kissed him just seemed to prove his assumptions were correct.
Immediately following his lead, you cupped his cheeks in needy desperation, gasping into the kiss you had been waiting for since you had seen his face crawling out of that tent the first day.
The moan escaping his lips was deep, longing and with a bright smirk, you pressed your hips into his, sliding deeper into his lap until there was nowhere further to go, your hips moving slowly atop of his.
Jungkook licked his lips, bending his head back while trying to stay focused. His eyes were closed in hopes of clearing his mind and being able to sort out his thoughts but he could feel your fingertips on his stomach, trailing to the hem of his briefs.
“What are you doing?”, he asked again, his voice only a whisper this time. As Jungkook opened his eyes, his breathing was deeper, heavier and while he tried his best to control himself, he raised his hands, hesitantly putting them on your hips, still unsure whether to push you away or pull you closer. The thoughts were running wild in his head.
“I missed you so much...” Jungkook’s neck hair stood up at the begging tone of your voice and with a deep breath he grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head in one swift motion, pushing aside all the warning signs in his head.
The sight of you in the dim lighting made his heart race even stronger and as he bent closer, the scent of your soft skin lulled him in. Jungkook took a breath, a smile crossing his lips as the past memories of the many moments you had shared all those years ago hit him. As he pouted his lips onto your neck, the soft moan escaping your lips filled his head, making it hard to focus.
His lips trailed over your chest, biting the skin gently, making his way down to find the curves on it as he jolted up in his sleeping bag. The roaring of the thunder waking him up, followed by a bright strike of lightning, making it very obvious to him that he was alone in a completely dark tent.
Embarrassed, Jungkook turned onto his back, stroking over his face to rub the last traces of his dream out of his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts. The worst part about the dream was how real it had felt and how willingly he had given into your touches. It only showed how he still seemed to be absolutely stuck inside this idea of the two of you.
It took him a long time and a lot of tossing and turning before he had been able to fall asleep once more – this time he didn’t dream of anything.
The day dragged by very slowly and as the last gloomy clouds had moved to make space for the bright sunlight, everyone had immediately rushed to the lake for some water activities. It hadn’t taken long for the brave ones jumping into the cold lake, to freeze to death though before they rushed back out. Rushing back to the camp yourself, you wrapped the towel around yourself, your teeth chattering lightly as the setting sun had taken some of the warmth away.
“You’re lips are legit blue, [y/n]. Get dressed.”, Jasmin mumbled as she walked past you and with a chuckle you wrapped the towel tighter around yourself, standing next to the campfire for a moment to heat up your frozen fingertips.
“You really seem cold.”, Jungkook mumbled as he walked past you and gave you a worried look. “Need me to get anything?”, he asked and you shook your head, still shaking a little bit.
“Yes, yes I’ll get changed.”, you chuckled and made your way to your tent to get into some sweats, sneakers and a thick sweater. Putting a beanie over your wet hair you walked outside and just as you were about to reach for your jacket over the chair, Jimin stumbled his way past the chair, dropping not only the drink in his hand onto the jacket but kicking the entire chair along with the jacket on it into the dirt on the ground.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”, he immediately tried to get up fast and pull up the coat and with a wave of your hand you tried to make it seem like it was no big deal but your jacket looked completely trashed.
Enduring the ongoing flow of excuses you simply let him talk and get it off his chest since there was nothing Jimin was going to be able to do about it now.
Hanging it up on the side mirror of the camper you simply grabbed the camping chair and pulled it next to Jungkook who gave you a smile. Sitting down with crossed legs you looked at him and he turned his head over, bending in a little more.
“Sorry about the coat. We can try and wash it out tomorrow.”
He reached over hesitantly for a second, tucking a strand of hair that had made its way to the front of the beanie, back to the side. Raising an eyebrow at the very intimate gesture of affection he was showing too you, you simply looked at him. Jungkook seemed to notice his mistake immediately and dropped his hand quickly, a shy smile on his lips.
“Sorry...”, he laughed nervously, the dream of last night making its way into his head slowly and with red ears, he turned his attention back to the fireplace. If there was one thing he didn’t need, it was being reminded of how whipped he seemed to be for you. Still.
“So you’re really expecting me to act like I didn’t just notice that something happened inside that noggin of yours?”, you chuckled, leaning your elbow more onto the armrest close to his arm and Jungkook chuckled, peeling the label off his beer slowly and still in thoughts.
“Nothing just. I sometimes forget I’m not allowed to do that anymore... Call me stupid.”, he laughed a weak, half-hearted little laugh before taking a sip and as you watched him, you noticed that weirdly enough, you really didn’t mind him getting ‘too close’.
Leaving the conversation where it was you decided not to dig any further, especially with all the others around and it being the night before Jungkook’s birthday, everyone seemed a little too excited for the day ahead tomorrow. Knowing Madi’s plan of decorating Jungkook’s tent early in the morning, considering you had helped them secretly blowing up balloons for about an hour only to hide them in the camper, you couldn’t help but smile.
The playful mood everyone seemed to be in was wonderful and as the hours got later, the drinks started flowing more and more. One thing you had missed, which you only noticed now that you saw it, was drunk Jungkook singing along to every song playing. He was constantly requesting crappy music, only to act it out and sing along. With every glass of wine you had and with every bottle of beer Jungkook had, the happiness seemed to peak and the more you had to laugh about his performance, the worse it seemed to get.
His high power performance mode wasn’t on for very long after the others, one by one, had made their way to bed and once the audience seemed to be missing, Jungkook had lost his motivation. Dropping onto the chair next to you he chuckled and leaned his head back, looking at you closely.
“You know? You look exactly the same, just way prettier.”, he stated quietly so Yoongi and Jasmin sitting across wouldn’t hear.
Jungkook’s comment made your cheeks blush and you sat up a little more, not sure if you heard him correctly. Raising an eyebrow you waited for an elaboration but Jungkook only smirked a little bit, staring into the firepit without saying a word.
Feeling dizzy from the wine, you chuckled and covered your face with one hand, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. Something about the way he casually commented that, felt like the beginning of the two of you dating and with a warm feeling in your tummy you watched the other two get up off their chairs.
“Are you two gonna be cool with taking out the fire later? Or are you so wasted you can’t.”, Yoongi asked with a sarcastic tone that held a little bit of worry in it.
“Of course I can do it. Go to bed old man!”, Jungkook laughed and with an annoyed eyeroll, the two of them made their way into the camper.
There was a long period where neither of you said a word, where everyone seemed to be doing something in their tents, getting bed ready, only some audible rustling and whispering, and as the last few lights had turned off in the camper van, the only thing lighting up the dark was the firepit.
“So how do you feel about being old as fuck in...” you pulled your phone out of your sweater pocket “Exactly nine minutes?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes and you had to laugh. “Just wait, you’re going to be the same age in the near future and then you’re gonna feel fucking stupid for saying that.”, he laughed and you shrugged.
“I always thought it was kind of sexy having an older boyfriend though. Can’t even deny that.”, you laughed and took a sip from your wine, Jungkook looking at you with a frown on his face.
“What kind of comment is that?!”, he laughed and you couldn’t help but join in.
“Whaaaat? I liked that you were older? Made you feel all strong and protective and all that.”, you smirked and raised an eyebrow, turning towards you.
“What so I had to be older in order for you to feel safe? Is that it?”, he bickered, poking your side and as you twitched, trying to move away from his touch, you almost fell off over with the chair.
Holding it in place, Jungkook pulled the chair back up and you only let out a short shriek before he but you back onto your feet, his hands still holding the chair firmly.
“See? That’s the kind of stuff I was into.”, you chuckled and only now you seemed to notice how close he was to your face. His breath was tickling your neck and with blushing cheeks you halfheartedly pushed him away as he seemed a little too comfortable so close to you.
“Perfect moment, ruined. Oh [y/n] you haven’t gotten better at getting a feeling for the right timing, have you.”, Jungkook made it sound like he was disappointed, only to laugh as he saw your big doe eyed expression, worried you had upset him.
“I’m joking, love.”, he chuckled and the long silence that followed made the tension between the two of you even more obvious. You weren’t sure what had happened in the last couple of days but something about him made you feel like you were sixteen again. Giddy, excited, in love...
Taking a deep breath as the thought crossed your mind, you turned your head back to the fireplace. Jungkook watched you carefully and poked your thigh once, poking it again after not getting a reaction out of you and eventually left his hand resting on it, looking over.
“Hey... What’s going on?”, he mumbled and you shrugged a little bit, looking over with a smile. You waved it off, looking at your phone to check the time and with wide eyes you turned your head over to him.
“Happy birthday, Jungkook.”
You scrunched your nose a little bit and stood up, gesturing him to get up as well as he only looked at you and with a quiet sound of protest, Jungkook peeled himself out of the comfortable camping chair. As he stood in front of you, you opened your arms to hug him high, wrapping them around his neck.
“I’m glad we got past all of it and I hope your next year of life will be filled with happiness. I wish you everything you hope for, success in all of the achievements you’re working towards and most importantly, a lot of love.”, you mumbled after he had wrapped his arms around your waist, and once you had finished talking, Jungkook seemed to hug you in even tighter.
“Thank you, [y/n].”, was all he could say because he wasn’t good at expressing how much this meant to him. Having you around was something he was never sure he needed but now that the two of you had shared this moment together, he couldn’t imagine any of it without you anymore.
Breaking the moment gently, you took your arms off his neck and looked up to him, only to find Jungkook standing in front of you with his arms still wrapped around your waist, making no implications of letting you go any time soon. Something about it made you nervous but the excitement rushing through your body immediately seemed to outweigh your fear. It was something that felt so strange and distant but so familiar at the same time, that it confused you.
Looking up at him, both of you stood in silence, waiting for the other one to make a move and just as you let out a shy little laugh, you felt like you could see Jungkook’s head tilt a little bit. Watching him closely you looked at his jaw one more time, trying to find a motion but he stood still.
He simply looked at you, his eyes tracing every feature on your face. He looked at every freckle, every tiny birthmark he had seen millions of times and wasn’t able to forget. Something inside of him just made it seem like he had to do it. Jungkook felt like this may be his only chance on his second shot and with a racing heart, the dream still vividly flashing like a warning sign inside of his head, he bent in closer to you, waiting for your response and reaction.
Taking a quiet, sharp breath in, you watched him tilt his head closer towards you and with a sudden pounding heart, you didn’t even hesitate or pull back. The tiny knot inside your stomach seemed to feel less tense all of a sudden and the heat spreading inside, definitely wasn’t the firepit’s fault.
“Sorry...”, was all he said very quietly before Jungkook bent in, putting his lips onto yours. For a long moment, there was absolute silence and neither of you moved, lips simply resting atop of each other’s. Both of you felt almost scared to move and ruin the moment, scared everything was going to be different from now on but deep down, you both knew it would be. There was no going back from what had just happened and there was no time to think about whether or not this had been a good choice.
It was happening and both of you felt like it was right.
Everything had happened within a matter of seconds before you had made a decision. Being the first one to move after the initiated kiss, you pouted your lips against his gently, stepping in closer and as if Jungkook had only waited for you to respond to his kiss, he pulled you closer on your waist.
The kiss was so gentle and careful, one of those kisses you didn’t share with a lot of people in your life. Everything about his soft lips on yours seemed perfect and as a smile crossed your lips, you raised your hand hesitantly, to cup his cheek.
A feeling of relief spread in Jungkook’s chest as he saw that he didn’t overstep his boundaries doing what he felt like doing and sharing the kiss with you, made his mind feel like it was going a hundred miles an hour, working at full speed.
Bending deeper into the kiss, deepening it slowly to feel his way, to figure out how far was too far, he was surprised to find that you let him explore. You didn’t mind him coming closer and nervousness he had felt seemed to turn into excitement.
Turning your head, you deepened the kiss as you rested your hands on his chest and the sweetness and shyness suddenly seemed to make room for an overwhelming feeling of loneliness inside your stomach, opening up like a pit. Only now you had realized how alone you had felt without him and as the kiss deepened more and more, you only felt like you were falling deeper and deeper into that feeling of him filling out the emptiness.
You broke the kiss, only to gasp for air and as you leaned your forehead against his chin, eyes closed, breathing heavily, Jungkook trailed his eyes over the campsite, making sure all the tent lights were off, no faces in sight, no one to disturb that perfect moment of yours.
Taking a step backwards, he reached for your hand and the direction suggested his tent. For a moment you looked at him and you weren’t sure if it was the wine talking, but everything about his suggestion seemed beyond right.
Following him, letting him pull you close by your hand, you walked behind him, following him as he opened the tent, disappearing in the dark. Letting go of his hand you turned around, leaving him scared you weren’t going to follow for a moment but as he saw you turn off the campfire, he smiled, watching you walk back over towards him.
You almost fell into the tent at the attempt to take off your shoes and with a short giggle, followed by some shuffling and two arms around you, you found yourself on top of him, both of your faces smiling from ear to ear.
“Careful.”, he chuckled and bent up to close the zipper after you had finally kicked out your boots and as he almost slipped before falling back onto the sleeping bag, both of you had a hard time trying to keep the laughter to a minimum. The last thing you wanted was to wake the others.
“Sorry.”, you chuckled again, still laughing about the way he had dropped onto the mat and with a soft grin, Jungkook shook his head. He didn’t mind at all if it meant having you close like this and after looking at you for a long moment, you blushed and silenced.
He smiled, lying next to you, rolled on his side, leaning over your body a little bit. Jungkook pulled the beanie off your head, gently running his fingers through your hair before bending back down to follow his lips up with yours once more.
It didn’t take long for both of you to make a decision and as the kisses got deeper, the movements more entangled, step by step the clothes started falling to the floor, leaving little space for imagination in no time. Something about it was so calming and nerve wracking at the same time, you both felt like teenagers who had never done any of it before.
Going this step with him felt like the most natural thing in the world and as both of you were entangled in his tent, breathing heavily, sharing heated kisses and so much more, Jungkook couldn’t help but think about the fact, that there couldn’t have been a better way to start the new chapter of his life than this.
Waking up very early, you woke up to the sound of someone rumbling outside. Feeling confused, not sure where you were, partially because of the alcohol from last night still lingering in your body, partially because you had been ripped out of a really good dream, you felt your arm around Jungkook’s bare chest, his head nuzzled onto your neck.
The giggling and rumbling outside kept going for a long time and you quietly woke him up, putting a finger on his mouth so he wouldn’t make a sound.
You pulled the sleeping bag higher over the both of you. Assuming this was Madi and Namjoon decorating Jungkook’s tent, you prayed they wouldn’t open it to wake him up and after a couple of seconds of looking around dazed, Jungkook seemed to have caught on with what was going on outside.
Trying not to chuckle he ran his fingers through his hair, looking at the walls of the tent, carefully listening to the happenings outside. “I think they’re gone.”, he mumbled and you stared at the zipper for a while, still worried they were going to come in. After minutes had passed without another sound you sat up, a sudden chill running over your naked body from the chilly air.
“I’ll have to go to my tent, we can’t walk out together later.”, you mumbled as you tried to search through the piles of clothes on the floor, trying to find your shirt only to be met with Jungkook gently grabbing your wrist, pulling you closer until your naked bodies were pressed against each other once more.
“Only because they don’t know.”, he mumbled half asleep again and kissed you a few times, his kisses soft and gentle, promising so much more than just a lonely night shared together.
Chuckling as he seemed to doze off again, you simply grabbed some of the clothes and put them on before stumbling over into your own tent, trying hard to fall asleep to get some rest before they were going to wake him up with a lot of shebang in a few hours.
As promised, the second you could hear the loud singing and clapping you woke up with a racing heart from the sudden amount of noise. Looking around your tent you tried to collect your thoughts for a moment only to smell Jungkook’s scent all over you still.
The memories from last night slowly making their way into your thoughts, your cheeks blushed and you had to smile brightly. Out of the blue, the tent opened up and Namjoon and Madi put their faces through the entrance, checking if you’re awake.
“Good morning. We got cake and you need to get the fuck up you can’t sleep all the time.”, Namjoon waved you out and you looked at them confused.
“I could’ve been naked you fools.”, you mumbled and Madi waved it off, appearing next to her boyfriend.
“Would’ve been something exciting to look at.”, she replied with a cheeky smirk and closed the tent again.
Getting dressed in some jeans and a t-shirt, you started looking for your jacket, digging through your luggage to find it. After it felt like you had been searching for it for a lifetime without getting anywhere, you exited the tent only to be met with an entirely decorated campsite, complete with baby blue balloons, garlands and fairly lights. The entire table was properly set, the first time since all of you had arrived.
As you turned your head you saw Jungkook standing in the middle of the whole chaos, a bright smile on his face, a pointy party hat on top of his messy, curly bed hair.
Everyone standing around him and saying their congratulations was such a wholesome picture and with a smile you walked over to join the gang. They really had organized a massive round cake with that awful edible paper on top, topped off with one of the worst pictures of Jungkook you had ever seen.
“Oh wow that’s a sight I could’ve missed out on.”, you chuckled as you saw the cake and Jungkook turned around, the brightest little smile on his face, his cheeks rosy from excitement. Something about the way this kid could look like the happiest child made your heart melt like nothing else.
“You can see it live once I’m blacked out tonight.”, he laughed, placing the cake on the table to be able to take the hug you were offering him.
“Happy Birthday. Looks like these idiots will make it a good one.”, you smiled and gave him a tight hug once but felt a little embarrassed as Jungkook hugged you in a little longer in front of everyone else. Clearing your throat, you smiled nervously. Trying to find something to do to fill the awkward silence you started looking for your coat that was still missing.
Pulling up your shoulders a little started as someone touched your shoulder, you turned around to find Jungkook standing behind you. He had watched you searching for the coat, rubbing your arms and had walked over now to offer you his fleece.
“Jimin poured that drink over it and dropped it, remember?”, he smiled and you closed your eyes embarrassed since you had totally forgotten about the entire incident. You chuckled nervously because of his gesture with the coat and slid your arms into the sleeves, the scent lulling you in immediately.
“Thank you. And, sorry I don’t have a present...”, you mumbled seeing some of the wrapped packages the others had put on the table and Jungkook only laughed, pulling the zipper all the way up after you had only pulled it up halfway, making sure you’re not cold.
“No offense but the present you gave me last night isn’t something I would’ve enjoyed from the others here. Was also the best one, call me biased.”, he winked with a cheeky grin on his face and as no one was watching, he placed the softest, quick kiss on your nose before making his way back to the crowd in a hurry, leaving you standing dazed and feeling warm and fuzzy, if still lightly confused.
Something about all of this was comforting but you couldn’t help but wonder if this meant the two of you were going to try it one more time. The thought of it made you feel more anxious than excited since it had already been all crash and burn the first time the two of you had tried.
What if this was going to happen again? What if it was just not meant to be?
Sitting around the table, drinking the champagne the boys had brought along for this very special occasion, Jungkook proudly had eaten a majority of his own cake and had downed so many drinks he felt like he was going to burst of pure bliss and happiness.
Watching him for a while you chuckled to yourself quietly and as Madi poked your arm, she broke your focus on him, forcing you to turn around to her.
“Told you he’s a good one.”, she smiled and you chuckled, nodding at her blunt attempt.
“He really is a friendly guy. You didn’t lie.”, you smiled and Madi nodded proud, looking like she was beating around the bush somehow and as you raised your eyebrows she looked like she couldn’t hold in the questions in her head.
“Do you like him? Like the two of you seem way closer now. Sorry for being so straight about it but...”, she mumbled quietly to make sure no one else was listening and you looked at her perplexed.
“Sorry. Just nosy. He deserves a good girlfriend. He’s been doing nothing but fucking around and I think it’s starting to get to him.”, she mumbled and pursed her lips half embarrassed.
The sudden confrontation with her words made your insides twist, wondering if you had been one of those random encounters to him now.
“Madi? I love you but you gotta stop trying to hook me up with someone. We get it you really won the lottery with Namjoon and we all envy you for your perfect boyfriend“ you mentioned sarcastically but also with a lot of truth swaying in that statement “but I can handle my sex life perfectly fine. Thank you love.”, you chuckled and smiled over the pain you started feeling inside.
“Just saying. Jungkook is one of those guys that’d put you before everything else once he’s in a relationship. He’s more Namjoon than Namjoon if you will. Trust me. But you’re right, it’s your thing. Sorry for being all mom about it.”, she chuckled and you nodded, ending the conversation at that.
What she said kept running through your mind and you thought about the old times. What Madi had said was true and you felt like you never really acknowledged or appreciated Jungkook for doing it. You felt like you never really had noticed back then and just expected it to be a given thing of him to treat you as wonderfully as he did.
Looking across the table to see him throw his head back for a loud laugh, watching Jimin and Jin joining in as they unwrapped presents together, you wondered why you ever had anything to complain about in the first place. The fact that both of you had equally good reasons to end it all never left your thoughts though and you started to wonder if all of this had been an awful idea.
As he wiped his cheeks to get rid of the tears running down his cheeks from the laughter, you caught him looking across the table at you. He smiled brightly and with bright red cheeks, scared someone had noticed, you stood up to reach over for the wine bottle on the table. The sudden urge to avoid him felt overwhelming and so you quietly focused on your cup of wine and stayed on the other side of the table.
The more you seemed to think about the situation the more you ended up talking yourself out of it and as the sky had turned darker and they had pulled out even more drinks, you were dead set on your decision to not give it another go. For the sake of keeping everyone’s hearts safe this time.
“Are you gonna play along?” Tae asked as they pulled out a card game Jungkook had just been gifted. It was a card game with frisky questions that had to be answered but noticing you’d be the only one left out if you didn’t join, you didn’t have much choice.
“Sure.”, you smiled, taking off Jungkook’s coat beforehand and putting it back on his arm rest, trying your best to not get caught in the feelings you were experiencing full on. Jungkook looked at you with a confused expression as you walked to your tent to grab a sweater, heading back to your seat then.
The group got gradually more drunk as the minutes passed over the next hours and as it was late at night, everyone seemed to be yelling out the answers to the questions they had been asked only to be forced to drink if the answer wasn’t satisfying enough.
“Last time you have given or received oral.”, Jungkook read out loud and looked over at Namjoon who had his lips pressed together tightly. Something about spilling all the beans went heavily against his morals but he didn’t want to be the one not answering the question.
“Both this morning.”, he chuckled and took a shot while everyone was yelling in approval, Jimin throwing some of the napkins on the table in shock, staring Madi who sank deeper into her chair with red cheeks. With a chuckle you shook your head and watched the others take turns.
Pulling a card from the pile you took a sip of your wine and watched Jasmin, reading out the card you had to answer. With raised eyebrows she looked over interested.
“Best sex you’ve ever had and it says elaborate in parenthesis.”, she said out loud, smirking and putting the card on the ‘used’ pile. Closing your eyes embarrassed for a second you looked at the others staring at you excitedly to answer just like all of them had done the previous rounds.
“Oh I am looking forward to that “ Madi blurted out. “You never share!”, she chuckled and you took a deep breath, trying to figure out a fast lie to cover up the obvious answer.
“His name was Jonghyun. You don’t know him.”, you answered and a low ‘uuuuuh’ went through the crowd gathered around the table, mocking you a little bit for trying to sound mysterious.
“Well elaborate then.”, Taehyung replied with a laugh and you took a deep breath. It had been true, you did have sex with Jonghyun and it hadn’t even been half bad, but the sex would never compare to the endless amounts of times Jungkook had made you collapse under his touch so hard you couldn’t even think straight for the following minutes. Just like last night.
“It was at his parents vacation home up in the mountains and we were alone up there and we did it in the shower and then on the kitchen table.”, you mumbled and poured yourself a shot quickly before pulling a card that Jimin had to answer, reading it out quickly.
Looking at the table across to meet his eyes, he was already waiting for you to look at him. Jungkook seemed hurt by what you had said, and you couldn’t blame him. You were aware of the fact that Jungkook knew Jonghyun. Jungkook also knew the story was true because the summer trip had been your breakup rebound. Sharing some of the same friends, Jungkook must’ve heard it somehow and the fact that you had pulled out that story now, was a smack in the guts.
Taking a deep breath you broke eye contact with him and turned to talk to Madi for a while, doing your best to lighten up the mood for yourself. Trying to push him away was more difficult than you thought it would be and seeing his hurt and confused expression made you realize that you may have taken it too far allowing yourself to give in last night.
Grabbing your drink after everyone had kind of distributed into smaller little groups and conversations, you took the chance to disappear for a few minutes. Filling up your cup with the wine you made your way through the tents over to the lake to take a seat and just have time to think for a while.
Jungkook’s eyes followed you carefully as you left the table, disappearing between the tents and since he was in the middle of a conversation with Jin and Yoongi, he tried his best to stay focused and not jump up to follow you. It felt like the conversation dragged on for ever but as he somehow managed to excuse himself eventually, he made his way past the tents towards the lake, following you.
Something about the way today had been going made him wonder if you even wanted to be close to him. He had this weird feeling deep down in his gut and something about everything that had happened today made him insecure about what the two of you had. Had it only been for the sex?
“Can I sit?”, he smiled as he arrived next to you and the small nod you gave him without looking up, made the uneasy feeling in his stomach grow. Out of all days to feel that way, it had to be his birthday.
Sitting down in the gravel, he pulled up his legs and put his arms on top of his knees, looking out for a long time without saying a word and it took him a while to even pick up the courage to say what was going on in his head.
“Is there a reason you’re so distant all of a sudden?”, Jungkook mumbled quietly, his heart racing.
The deep breath coming from you didn’t sound like anything good was coming from it so Jungkook clenched his jaw to not show too much emotion and turned to look back out onto the lake. It was always difficult to force his attention away from those soft, rosy cheeks of yours. The feeling of heartbreak, the fight, the way he had felt once you had left the apartment – all of those things seemed so fresh and real now that his stomach hurt so much.
“I don’t want to be an ass, Jungkook. I just don’t want to... be with you again. I can’t.”, you mumbled and as the words slowly trickled into his mind, he couldn’t help but feel the tears burning in his eyes. Without making a sound or moving at all, he just stared out at the lake.
“We already tried. It didn’t work out why would we do it again? Just so it’s going to hurt even more than the first time?” He heard what you were saying but he was scared to talk because he was going to lose his composure but his mouth opened up before his brain could tell it not to.
“So you thought fucking me is ok, knowing you were gonna ditch me while we’re camping and there’s nowhere to go?”, he said after a while and looked over at you with such pain in his face you felt embarrassed for even being there.
“Jungkook, that’s not...” – “No, no. Let me get this straight. You went from hating me, telling everyone I was the bad guy after the breakup, to doing Jonghyun, good job for telling that story earlier by the way, to having sex with me last night only to tell me one more time to my face that you don’t want me? And that Jonghyun was better?” The laugh escaping his lips was devastating and with a deep breath he got up onto his feet.
“You’re really the worst, you know that?”, he mumbled with a shaky voice, unable to control the tears this time and as you stood up to your feet Jungkook turned to leave.
“Don’t say those things and then just leave me standing here without a chance to talk, Kook.”, you mumbled with tears in your eyes but he only turned around angry, his voice loud this time.
“You don’t get to call me that! I .. fucking loved you – SO much. I have when we started dating and I have when we stopped and all you could do was use me for one more bang before telling me you don’t want me? How could you do that to me? I was nothing but here for you, [y/n].”
The tears ran over his cheeks, hot against the cold air, his voice shaking and heart hurting like it hadn’t before. Turning around he pressed both of his hands against his eyes to compose himself.
“Fuck..”, he cursed and shook his head.
“Can I please talk?” you walked over to face him.
“A few days ago you agreed on not bringing up the old shit and here we are, you’re yelling at me for everything that happened years ago and this is exactly why I don’t want to try it. I can’t be guilt tripped every time something happens. I didn’t fuck you so I can ditch you after I did it because I missed you so fucking much and it just felt right, sue me.”, you almost hissed at him and something about this fight was so similar to the last time the two of you had seen each other that you felt like you couldn’t breathe.
“I told the Jonghyun story because I couldn’t exactly say that we banged the night before, could I? I didn’t want to put YOU in a shitty situation. And yes it sucks that it happened but that was years ago! I just don’t want to feel the way I feel when I look at you. I feel so fucking guilty for everything I have done and every time I see your face I feel like I will fuck it up one more time. There you go. The truth.” You dropped your hands almost accusatory.
“But you don’t give a shit about that because once you make up your mind about how something went down there’s nooo other way but the Jungkook way, isn’t there? So I’m sorry if you think I used you for sex, I didn’t. And I’m sorry if you think I did this to hurt you when in reality I’m shutting myself out because I’m scared.”
As Jungkook was about to speak up again, someone walked out behind the two of you, the steps loud on the gravel.
“Are you insane? Shouting around like that? What the fuck has gotten into you?”, Namjoon pressed, standing between the both of you to push you apart, worried one of you was going to yell once more.
As soon as the two of you started yelling inaudible accusations at each other, Namjoon yelled again, silencing both of you. Seeing Jasmin pop up next to you, she put her arm around you, slowly guiding you away from the scene and as you took a deep breath, wiping your wet cheeks, you wondered if everyone else had noticed.
“What exactly was that all about?”, she asked as you walked over to the tents, grabbing a water bottle and holding it towards you in order for you to have something to do. Still annoyed you looked around, only waiting for Jungkook to show up and be mad again.
“Who else heard us?”, you asked and Jasmin shook her head, taking the water back as she saw you weren’t going to drink it.
“Namjoon turned up the music, they didn’t hear it but again, what the fuck happened?”, she asked again you realized that there was no way of getting around telling her all the truth about what was going on and what had been going on for a while. Without leaving any dirty details out, you filled her in on everything that had happened in the past, including everything that had happened during the camping trip and as she stood there, open mouthed, you realized how pathetic and fucked up it must sound to them.
Without judging you the slightest bit, she listened to what you had to say.
“Ok and the plan now? Are you gonna fight the rest of the week or how are we going to do this? Do you want to talk about it with Namjoon there to guide it?”, she asked as she was rubbing your back gently in an attempt to comfort you.
“I don’t know man but I miss him so much.” You could feel the tears burning your eyes immediately and turned away from the drunk crowd at the campfire who still hasn’t noticed the drama that was going on a couple of feet away from them.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry, [y/n].”, she tried to comfort you but your eyes were focused on Jungkook who was making his way back to the table with Namjoon, both of them seemingly stressed.
You tried to catch his eye, you wanted to know if this was going to be it. If this was going to be the last big fight, once again but this time there was not going to be a chance of reconciliation. The thought of it alone made your stomach twist and worry seemed so overwhelming you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that this may have just been the deadly last stroke.
Watching him slumped in his chair, his head low, knowing the thoughts that were passing through it just too well, you didn’t exactly know what to do with yourself now.
Pushing him away had seemed like the right decision and although you knew it was probably safer for the two of you to not get feelings involved, you didn’t have the right to make the decision for him. You should’ve talked to him and as you stood there now, watching him ignoring you for the pain you had caused him once again, your thoughts were running wild, your brain desperately trying to find a solution for the problem as fast as possible.
The second before you could bring up the courage to make your way over to ask to talk to him one more time, he got up out of his chair fast and made his way into the tent, not another look, not another word.
After trying to act like nothing had happened for a short while, you eventually returned to bed yourself and as the hours ticked by, the sun starting to rise outside without you being able to even think about sleep, you wondered if leaving early, pushing it on family issues, could solve the issue of having to face him for another three days.
Just as you observed the dark outside slowly starting to light up from the nesting sunrise, you heard your tent zipper open in a flash and as you sat up, half startled, half ready to fight, Jungkook kneeled in the entryway, looking at you.
“I can’t sleep.”, he calmly stated and the sudden surprise made you freeze in place.
“Me neither.”, you mumbled and he nodded, kicking off his slippers before crawling inside, sitting opposite you on the bottom of your sleeping bag.
“Sorry for talking to you that way. I was drunk and upset. Still a little bit of both to be honest.”, he mumbled and looked out through the open tent entrance.
“It’s ok. Wasn’t my finest moment either. Sorry for not giving you a chance to talk about it and just deciding it for you.”
“[y/n], I want it to be very clear that I’m not planning on fooling around or simply trying for the sake of it. I know how I feel, I told you yesterday but seeing you again only made it real once again and if that’s not prove that I really love you and it’s meant to be, then I don’t know what else I can do to convince you. I want to be with you. I really do, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want me back and just because I love someone doesn’t mean it’s going be a happy ending. I get it now and I’m sorry for forcing love on you. Thankful for what we had anyway.”, he mumbled and as he rubbed his sweaty palms on his thighs, he gave you a quick nod. As his nerves overwhelmed him, Jungkook turned to exit the tent once again, about to leave again with words unspoken between the both of you.
He felt like he had leaned quite far out the window, dumping all of his deepest fears out into the open and as soon as the words had left his lips, he felt like the embarrassment was too much to take.
“Let’s say we tried. Then what? We only know who we used to be? We don’t know each other like that now. What if I’m not who you expect me to be? What if I can’t be that for you? I wasn’t good enough last time, what makes you think I’m good enough this time?” The tears started flowing before you even had the chance to stop them.
Jungkook shook his head slowly as he took his hand off the zipper and moved closer towards you.
“Babe, that’s not what it was at all. We broke up because we were both too young to know better and you best believe it was never because you weren’t enough. You were and would be more than enough. Always.”
Stroking his thumb over your cheek, you closed your eyes and allowed him to comfort you. The settle touches and the feelings you had felt over the past couple of days had made it feel like you were getting to know him for the very first time and it made your heart flutter only thinking about it.
“I don’t don’t even know where you live..”, you chuckled wiping hour eyes with the hem of your shirt and Jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle at the sudden change of topics.
“Thankfully, this is all stuff we could figure out.”, he chuckled quietly. You felt his finger under your chin, gently guiding it up so you would look at him.
“I’ve said what I had to say. I won’t say it twenty more times to persuade you because I want you to do whatever you feel like is right for you, [y/n]. You don’t have to give me an answer now, or tomorrow, or in two weeks, just know that I will be here when you’re ready for it, okay?”
The way his palm touched your cheek, gently sliding into your hair, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone only to touch your lips once after.
“Don’t worry about me. Do what’s right for you, I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”, he smiled and you knew, deep down, that Jungkook wasn’t fine, but now was not the time to tell him that. Closing your eyes as you felt him lean closer, your eyes started burning again, the feeling of hot tears pushing against them so hard, you could barely hold them in.
His lips touched yours and it was a very faint, gentle touch. Feeling his soft lips, not with the feeling of passion pressing behind it this time seemed to put everything into perspective.
“Think about it, lovebug.”, he smiled with a scrunched nose after pulling back way too fast and before you had time to sort out your thoughts, Jungkook gone, closing your tent behind him.
It took a while to get adjusted to that new sense of ‘being friends’ and ‘seeing where this goes’ the two of you were trying to figure out at this point. The following day and even the day after felt a little shaky and awkward but the little things seemed to make Jungkook the happiest. Things like standing behind him, watching him while he started the campfire or asking him if he wanted a beer as well once you got up. Jungkook did way more of those little gestures, he seemed so much more confident than you were.
Finding yourself preparing dinner together that night, the two of you were bickering constantly, laughing and taking way too long to get dinner ready.
“You have to cut it smaller.”, Yoongi yelled over as Jungkook and you stood at the camping table a little to the side. He attentively watched you cut the chicken from his camping chair and you eventually pointed the knife at him as he yelled a comment for the tenth time.
“Do you wanna come over and cut it yourself? Be my guest. I hate touching chicken.”, you said and wiggled the chicken breast in your hand. Jungkook, who had been watching the drama unfold had only waited for you to snap at Yoongi’s comments and couldn’t hold in his laughter now.
Yoongi rolled his eyes defeated and Jungkook jokingly bumped your hip with his, chuckling again. Without another word he took the knife out of your hand and offered to switch places, letting you cut the veggies and cutting the chicken himself.
“I didn’t know you don’t like to touch it.”, he chuckled as you went to take off the gloves you had been wearing before turning your attention back to the vegetables.
“Well now you know I hate touching raw chicken.”, you chuckled and smirked over, Jungkook’s nose scrunching up, a bright smile across his face.
“Won’t forget when I invite you for dinner.”, he mumbled and with raised eyebrows you turned to face Jungkook, who just kept preparing dinner without looking up at you. His cheeks started to hurt from all the smiling over the past days and his heart felt light and bubbly. He wanted to invite you to come over for dinner so badly it had been all he could think about.
Trying to not trail off too much, the both of you tried focusing on dinner and eventually put together a delicious curry, making a vegetarian option as well and as everyone got up to get their meals, you nodded proud as the compliments rolled in.
“You hear that Yoongi? Best dinner yet.”, you smirked and clapped his back gently, making him roll his eyes with a short chuckle.
“They always say that in hopes to not having to do the dishes.”, he stated grumpily and with a chuckle you looked over at Jungkook who was shoveling the curry in as if it was his only meal for the month. Reaching over you wiped some of it off his chin, trying hard not to make it a loving gesture because of the audience around the firepit, wiping it on off his pants with a smirk on your face.
“Whaaat the fuck was that for?”, he laughed and tried to reach over to smear some of the curry on your cheek, forcing you to turn away from him completely, letting out a short scream as he got dangerously close to smearing it in your eye.
“Jungkook!”, you laughed, trying not to lose the warning tone in your voice before eventually getting up, pushing his hand away and trying to find cover behind Jimin who was watching the event unfold with an uninterested look on his face, praying not to get dragged into this.
“Don’t run. I’ll get you back.”, Jungkook smirked, walking around the firepit opposite direction to cut off your way, forcing you to stop mid motion, desperately trying to avoid him getting too close.
“Guys. One of you is gonna cry and it won’t be the girl.”, Jasmin stated, looking over to Jungkook who had a cocky expression on his face, the competitive face he put on once he could smell fear.
Reaching across the table you reached to dip your finger into one of the empty plates, looking at Jungkook to make sure he knew who the curry was reserved for. It only took a short second of you and Jin exchanging a look and with a smile on your face, you sprinted over as Jin’s arm wrapped around Jungkook’s wrist, holding him in place, unable to run away from you.
As you shot forward, Jungkook ducked down, curling in on himself, forcing you to lean over his back, blindly rubbing your finger over something that felt like his cheekbone and ear. The second you felt you succeeded, a laugh escaped your lips, accompanied by claps and encouragement of the others.
Before you had time to be triumphant, Jungkook swiftly turned around. With a strong and swift , he grabbed your hips and tossed you over his shoulder, both hands on your thighs to make sure you couldn’t slide off of his shoulder.
“Lake it is.”, he smirked and the second you felt the motion of him walking, you grabbed onto his tiny waist, trying to hold yourself up.
“Jungkook, don’t.”, you said worried, looking after all the others laughing, none of them sprinting up to help you, and just as you were about to complain, Jungkook started slipping with his foot on the gravel and the brief moment of insecurity forced you to let out a thrilling scream.
“Shhhhh...”, he laughed, immediately stopping and setting you down by the edge of the lake, looking down at your flustered face. “People are gonna think I came out here to kill someone if you scream like that.”, he laughed and pushed some of your hair back gently, sorting them out for you.
“Someone was going to die if you had pushed me into the water. Oh my god.” Putting your hand on your chest, you took a deep breath to calm down your racing heart.
“I wouldn’t have done that.”, he chuckled and you pushed him away, not able to hold in the little chuckle escaping your lips. Weirdly enough, you knew. And despite everything that had happened over the past couple of days, you’d always trust Jungkook. Even in situations like these.
“Oh wow I really got you.”, you mumbled as you looked up in the dim light, wiping your hand over his curry smudged cheek. You pulled your sweater sleeve up, wiping up to his ear, using your fingers to get the last tiny bit off that was stuck at the side of his hair.
Feeling the short stubble under your touch you took a deep breath, pulling your fingers back immediately. Jungkook’s undercut was one of the most dangerous things for you and you were not going to just get lost in the moment of it all, because this time, you’d be lost forever.
Jungkook noticed your reaction as soon as you had brushed through his hair and with a smug smile on his face, and as he turned around, he made his way back to the others, making sure you followed.
Laying in your tent, you watched the wind move the top of it from side to side, sweeping across the tent as if he was trying to get it off the ground. The rain thankfully had started while everyone was getting ready for bed and only the few who decided to walk up to the sanitary rooms to take a shower, ended up getting caught in the downpour coming out of nowhere.
Your phone buzzed and you pulled it out of the sweaters it had slid in between.
Two seconds after you had sent the last text, you could hear some rustling outside that didn’t seem to come from the wind. After a low thud noise and a few curse words, Jungkook opened the tent and almost jumped inside. He was completely drenched only from walking a few steps through the pouring rain and as he dropped into the tent, throwing his iPad on your sleeping bag, his bright smile made up for all the dirt he had dragged in with him.
“I’m sorry.”, he laughed, bending over to close the tent quickly before sitting back, running a hand through his wet hair, exposing a quick glance at his undercut.
“Are you alright?”, you chuckled, looking at his wet clothes and Jungkook nodded looking down on himself, only in a shirt and basketball shorts, his boots still dirty on his feet. He started opening the laces loosely and kicked them off into the corner furthest away from your sleeping bag and while he was trying to get comfortable, you grabbed your last fresh towel out of your suitcase, handing it over.
“Thanks.”, he chuckled and started ruffling his hair dry. Digging in your bag for something to wear, you pulled out another pair of sweats and an old oversize shirt of yours, handing it both to him. As you tried not to peek over at him as he was changing, you kept yourself busy with fixing up the sleeping bag, propping one of the bigger bags behind your pillow so the two of you could sit a little more upright and as you were done looking over, Jungkook took off his wet shirt in one swift motion, making it hard to keep in that sigh that was waiting on your lips.
As he unfolded the shirt you gave him, you didn’t even bother to keep the staring to a minimum. You didn’t care if he knew you thought he was sexy.
“Dude, that’s my shirt?!” His voice ripped you out of your daydreams and you blinked at him, having a hard time taking your eyes off his chest.
“What?”, you asked and followed his look.
“No, I got that shirt after the concert.” You looked at the old, worn out BIGBANG shirt in his hands and he looked at you with squint eyes.
“Babe – that was my shirt.”, he stated again, causing you to frown.
“Don’t babe me when you’re mad.. That was my shirt I bought it after the concert, remember? We went with your cousin.” You laughed and Jungkook looked at the shirt for a long moment.
“I always thought you were wearing my shirt back then and I felt all proud.”, he started laughing and covered his eyes with his hand once, feeling slightly embarrassed.
“I mean you probably paid for it... so...”, you chuckled and Jungkook reached over to peck your side once, forcing you to twitch away from him, a giggle escaping your lips. Sometimes you hated the girly, cute version of yourself that seemed to come out around him. The shrieking and giggling wasn’t something you usually did but as he put on the shirt, watching him and seeing how his face lit up when the two of you interacted in that way, you knew it was the thing he seemed to love most. How you reacted when he did something.
“Right. You all comfortable now, mister?”, you smiled and pulled the sleeping bag up a little bit, scooting to the side as Jungkook wiggled his way in right next to you. He felt cold and as he grabbed the iPad, the two of you laying on your back, next to each other, like fourth graders too scared to even look at each other, you couldn’t help but start to smile.
“Perfectly comfy.”, he smiled over before opening his iPad to look through the movies he had downloaded on it. You really didn’t mind the movie, you only cared about him being close again and as he suggested some of the movies, you only nodded at the one he seemed to be most excited about.
Only a few minutes in you could feel the soft fabric of his sock against your ankle gently. It started out as a faint little touch before he gently moved his foot over, a little closer, making sure to touch you.
It didn’t take long for the scary feeling to hit in. The wind and rain outside, the darkness of the tent and the scariest movie Jungkook could’ve picked, put you in a scared headspace immediately. Only as you had covered your eyes a couple of times and Jungkook had put his arm around you, offering you to snuggle in on him, it had dawned on you that you fell victim to one of the oldest tricks in the book.
Jungkook had picking the scariest movie he could come up with in order for you to cuddle him.
For a moment you debated on whether or not you should call him out on it, but the scent of him wearing your shirt as he was laying next to you, his arm around your shoulder holding you in while his fingertips trailed little figures and numbers over your arm, you really didn’t have anything to complain about.
Jungkook gradually sank deeper into the sleeping bag while watching the movie, eventually coming to a horizontal position that made his eyes flutter heavily. The warmth along with the cuddles made him feel sleepy and as he turned to his side a little bit, Jungkook rested his cheek on your stomach, completely hugging in your lower body.
There was no question now as he was lying there, hugging you, the littlest spoon you had ever seen. He would wait to the end of time for your decision and there was nothing stopping him from showing you how much he wanted this.
With a smile you hesitantly lifted your hand, wondering if giving in now would make it official, but you didn’t feel like it would. Something about the approach the two of you had been taking, felt like you were taking it slow, trying to keep it honest and real.
Placing your hand on his head gently, you started running your fingers through his almost completely dried hair. You started twirling a few strands between your fingers, sliding your hand in deeper, your fingertips sliding over the short hair on his neck, all the way up into his long curls.
Jungkook let out a short, approving little moan and with a chuckle, you could feel him turning in more, laying on his side, half of his body on top of yours as you looked down at him, comfortably enjoying each other’s closeness.
Playing with his hair for a while, you only stopped as the credits of the movie started rolling. You were thinking about waking him as Jungkook got up on his elbow, rubbing his eyes half asleep.
“Great movie.”, he murmured sarcastically and turned his head to face you. There were only a few inches separating your faces and with a smile you nodded.
“I enjoyed it.”
Jungkook’s bright smile flashed across his face for a second before it slowly faded, his eyes on yours carefully. His eyes traced your features, looking at you, waiting for some sort of sign that would let him know that everything he had been doing was okay.
He wanted to be close, even closer than this, but he was too scared to push any further. The past days had shown that he had pushed enough and he wasn’t going to lose you over the stupid need of wanting to hold you. Why would he risk it now? He had felt that way for years, he could make it one more night without following his intuition. Taking a deep breath he was about to get up as you started speaking.
“What’s going on in there?”, you mumbled and nodded towards him. His body, tense from the attempt to get up, relaxed again and molded its side back to your body.
“I don’t know, I just feel like I’m doing too much and it’s hard for me to... not do that. Hard to control myself sometimes.”, a week laugh escaping his lips.
“I don’t want you to constantly feel like you can’t do certain things, I’m sorry it’s that way. But I’m sure if we’re patient it will get better eventually. For both of us.”
You smiled at him and Jungkook stretched his head over a little, trying to get a good look at your face as you were speaking. The smile crossing your lips, grew wider at the sight of his large eyes, attentively watching you and as you bent forward, you gently kissed his cheek.
The moment was faint, not lasting very long but it made you feel like someone had turned on the heating inside the tent. Both of you seemed to feel like you were burning up immediately and just as you started to regret your decision, Jungkook lifted his hand, cupping your cheek before you could move back too far. Scooting up towards you, sitting up a little more, he ran his finger over your cheekbone gently.
“Dangerous.”, you chuckled weakly, already sounding out of breath from what you knew was about to come. Taking a deep breath you looked at him.
“What can I say, I’m a ride or die kind of guy.”, he smirked a little mischievous before bending in, placing a soft kiss on your nose.
Closing your eyes you parted your lips, pure happiness filling your body with every gentle touch. Jungkook seemed to be in the most gentle, caring mood. The way his hand found your waist, his thumb stroking over the fabric of your shirt softly as he placed another kiss on your cheek, your temple, your closed eyes.
The way he made you feel beautiful and appreciated, was something no other guy could ever make you feel. This feeling of acceptance and wholesomeness, was something between Jungkook and you.
He took his time, carefully choosing where he was going to place the next kiss, now that you felt like butter in his hands, so soft, so gentle under his touch. There was nothing he enjoyed more than pleasing you on so much more than just a physical level.
With a wide smile on his lips, he placed a kiss on your chin, carefully placing the second one on your throat, hinting at where this could go if you were going to let him.
Your eyes slowly opened, looking straight into his. They were clear, cautious, scanning every movement in your face to make sure he wasn’t missing out on a sign that would allow him to continue – or not.
The smile creeping up in the corners of your mouth was hard to suppress and as you felt like you couldn’t keep it in any longer you turned your head away, chuckling embarrassed at the seriousness of his gaze.
“What?”, he chuckled along and you shook your head, cheeks hot and rosy.
“Nothing.”, you lied, unable to look at his wonderful brown eyes watching your every move.
It took all the power in you, to turn your head and face his curious stare. You smiled at him and simply closed your eyes again, showing him that picking up where he left off was okay with you.
The sudden shiver running down his spine was so strong, even you could feel it as he was so close to you. Something about Jungkook still getting nervous around you, especially in these situations, was so endearing and real.
Licking his lips nervously, Jungkook closed his eyes as well, bending in to caress your neck with his lips, leaving a trail of hot skin, the further down he seemed to get, slowly pulling the hem of your shirt down to place a gentle kiss on your chest.
You sat up slowly, leaning closer towards him and as you bent over to turn off the iPad that had been lighting up the tent, Jungkook swallowed hard. He heard the rustling, felt your arms touch his accidentally as you took off the shirt you had been wearing, felt your hand on his cheek like an invitation.
With a deep breath, Jungkook blindly bent forward, finding your lips like a magnet in the dark and as both of you sank deeper into the sleeping bag, exchanging secret kisses in the dark, neither of you managed to break the kiss until you felt out of breath, your lips plush and a little swollen from all the kissing.
“Can I please make you feel good?”, Jungkook mumbled onto your lips and the waves of that sound ran down your spine, tingling you so badly, you could feel goosebumps spreading on your chest and arms.
Running both of your hands into his hair slowly, you made out his lips in the dark, kissing him one more time, only able to reply with a weak nod. The smile you could feel on Jungkook’s lips, made the goosebumps spread even further and as you moved down an inch, sinking into the blanket, Jungkook followed up your every movement.
He was going to take his time, there was no reason to rush anything at all and as he broke the kisses off your lips, finding his way down your chest, you had to take a few deeper breaths. You seemed to feel all of his touches so intensely, and as he brushed his nose over your skin slowly, kissing your bellybutton gently before stopping his trail of kisses above the hem of your sweat shorts, you couldn’t hold in the gasp escaping your lips.
Jungkook smirked as he felt your reaction, every move he made, you seemed to reply in perfect sync and with a deep breath, he sat up. Slowly hooking his fingers into the hem of your sweats. Taking them off painfully slow, he could hear a little accusing noise causing him to chuckle at your reaction.
“You’ve always been so impatient.”, he chuckled, bending up and hovering over you, faintly finding your eyes in the dark.
“Guess I have.” Your voice was low, sensual and now Jungkook was the one with shivers down his spine. Something about the smoothness, the confidence of your voice was new to him. This was one of those experiences he hadn’t made before, you felt different, more mature, confident with what you wanted and Jungkook didn’t mind being guided or told.
Your hands trailing up his sides under his shirt felt burning hot on his skin and with parted lips, Jungkook closed his eyes, letting you take full control over the moment. He knew he was going to get back to what he had started, whenever you’d let him.
As you felt Jungkook stopping everything he had been doing to enjoy your touch, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. With a lower chuckle, you grabbed the shirt he was wearing, pulling it off his head slowly, before putting your hands on his chest, exploring every inch of his skin, taking your time.
“Don’t worry, I’ll let you get back to it in a second.”, you whispered, your lips touching his ear and now there was no way Jungkook could’ve held in the excitement in his pants. He didn’t want to, he wanted all of this and with every second passing, he wanted it more. He nodded, your hands running through his hair slowly as you touched your lips back onto his, savoring the moment.
As soon as you bent back to lay down, Jungkook was following up so eagerly and impatient, you almost had to chuckle.
His hands found their way over your thighs as he laid down between your legs, comfortably, making sure he was going to be able to take his time and as he continued placing kisses over the inside of your thigh, it was getting harder and harder to hold in the sighs and moans escaping your lips.
Jungkook had kept his promise. He had made you feel so good, many times in fact, and from his reaction you assumed you had made him feel just as good.
Both of you had been thankful for the loud, blowing wind because neither of you had been able to keep your voices low and as the pure waves of pleasure had finally washed over the both of you, subsiding slowly, your heartrates finally seemed to slow down to a more healthy rate.
“I don’t want to know how... or where you learned it – but holy shit Jungkook.”, you mumbled weakly, laying on your blanket, your body feeling soft and numb from the high you were still on, ears slightly ringing. Jungkook was next to you, arms and legs spread out, covered in a thin film of sweat from overexerting himself in every aspect possible. His lips felt dry from breathing heavy with his mouth open, his hair sticking to his forehead.
“Yea? You weren’t too bad yourself.”, he mumbled, his voice low and raspy, music to your ears. With a chuckle you slapped his thigh and Jungkook let out a low laugh, running his fingers through his hair as he was still trying to come down from his high.
“I think after every single thing we just did, we can agree that Jonghyun definitely wasn’t the best one.”, Jungkook mumbled and you propped up on your elbows, looking over, a slight shiver from the cold air tingling over your body.
“You really going to rub that in? Now?”, you mocked him a little bit and looked at his peaceful face, eyes closed, wide smile on his lips.
“Oh I can rub something else, again... and again, and again...” we can play the game we’ve been playing all night, babe.”. he mumbled and you chuckled embarrassed, covering his mouth with your hand.
“She’s embaaaarrassssed.”, Jungkook said in a sing sang voice, his hands grabbing the wrists to take your hands off his mouth. “What happened to sexy, bossy? Or is that a sexy time exclusive.”. he smirked and with squinted eyes you looked down.
“Says the guy that’s so turned on by it, that he stops mid motion only to do as I say.” With a wide smirk on your lips, you watched his expression. You weren’t sure if someone had told him that blunt that Jungkook seemed to enjoy if the other person was in control, but you liked it.
“Stoooop.”, he covered his face with his hand embarrassed and this time you had to chuckle.
“No, please don’t be embarrassed, babe.”, you mumbled, surprised by how easily all of those words rolled off your tongue, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Slowly laying down on top of him, you placed a few kisses on his chest until he lowered his hand.
“You just told me I’m a sissy.”, he chuckled and you frowned, bending back to look at him.
“That’s not what I said? There’s nothing wrong with enjoying someone else being bossy. Last time, you were the bossy one so how can you think that? I think you’re very sexy, no matter what you do in bed. But especially if you that thing you did earlier...”, you mumbled and placed a soft kiss on his lips, making him smile even brighter as he wrapped both arms around you, pulling the blanket over the both of you to keep you warm.
“Yea? I don’t do that thing for everyone.”, he joked around, wiggling his eyebrows and with a laugh, you dropped your head on his chest. Jungkook switching from the absolute softest boyfriend to being an absolute beast in bed, to being his innocent, annoyingly cute self, was insane.
Resting on top of him for a while, you took a deep breath, enjoying the moment with him to the fullest before it dawned on you, that Jungkook was not going to wake up next to you.
The thought alone made you feel sad and as he noticed, he looked up at you carefully.
“What’s wrong, love?”, he asked carefully, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.
“I just remembered you’ll have to leave again, no waking up like this.”, you smiled a little halfheartedly and Jungkook pouted his lips, kissed your nose softly.
“I mean I could stay? It... depends on what’s going to happen now.”, he carefully tested the waters, internally hoping for a clear answer that could ease his mind so he wouldn’t have to wreck his brain about whether or not you were going to be with him.
“Not here, not like this. I want to figure this out with you... without any audiences. Is that alright? Only a little longer, we’re leaving tomorrow night anyway.”, you mumbled, stroking through his hair on the back of his neck, gently playing with them.
“Sounds good.”, Jungkook mumbled and as he quickly fell fast asleep under your touch, you smiled, deciding to let him rest for a little while before you’d wake him and send him back on his way. After all, he had done one hell of a job this night.
The rain had made way for clear blue skies and sunshine, putting everyone in a good mood. As you had left your tent that morning, you were extra careful to read everyone’s expressions, worried someone may have heard the two of you. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary though so after taking a dip in the lake, you pulled one of the camping chairs into the sun to dry off, sipping your coffee appreciatively.
Jungkook had slept in long and from what you knew, he needed it. Hearing the zipper of his tent, you peaked over through your sunglasses, watching him crawl out and standing up in only boxershorts, his face still a little puffy and his hair standing out in every direction.
“Oh wow, what did you do in there, wrestle?”, Jin asked and started laughing at the sight of Jungkook’s bed face and after shooting a quick look towards you, Jungkook grabbed his bucket hat and put it on in an effort to tame his curly mess.
With a slightly shocked face you sat up, mouth wide open as Jungkook turned around to grab his hat. The long red scratches across his shoulder blades were more than visible and you had to force yourself to shut your mouth in order for it to not be too suspicious. Jungkook really had cause you to lose your mind last night, the claw marks on his back vivid proof of it.
“Ai – what happened to you?”, Jin asked worried, stepping closer to look at the red marks. Jungkook, a little panicky, turned his head to look down over his shoulder, his face just as shocked as yours a few minutes earlier.
“Oh wow that doesn’t look good?” Hoseok and Taehyung, both looking up from their bowls of rice they had been eating, joined in on the conversation and Jungkook dove back into the tent to look for a shirt immediately.
“I had a couple of mosquitos in my tent maybe I scratched up my back while I was sleeping.”, he mumbled and put on the BIGBANG shirt of yours he had worn last night.
“Probably. Some big ass mosquitos, hm?”, Tae smirked, looking at the t-shirt Jungkook was wearing and shot you a quick look before getting back to his rice with raised eyebrows.
You simply smiled, looking as is none of this had anything to do with you and doing your own thing, you made sure you didn’t spend too much time with Jungkook today so the others wouldn’t get suspicious of anything.
Sometimes, when no one was around, Jungkook gave you a quick smack on the bum or a quick kiss on the shoulder as he passed you, always making sure no one was around to witness his little displays of affection and every single time, the bright smile on your lips would’ve given you away immediately.
Never in a million years would you have imagined the trip to go this way. Sitting on Jungkook’s shoulders as you water wrestled with Namjoon and Madi was one of the most wholesome moments of the trip and the sun shining so brightly on the last day, made it all even more perfect.
Sitting on the pebbles watching the others roam around in the water, you smiled over at Namjoon who was walking over, drying off his chest before plopping onto the gravel next to you.
“So? I assume the two of you have put the fighting aside?”, he asked, leaning back onto his arms to enjoy the sun. He was so slender and tall you had to chuckle, feeling so small next to him.
“Yea we talked it out. Why?”, you asked and Namjoon shook his head, looking over.
“Nothing I just wanted to make sure it’s all good. Was a gnarly fight the two of you had.”
Nodding, you knew that fighting like this in front of his friends must’ve been awful for not only you and him, but also for Namjoon and Jasmin who had to listen to it.
Namjoon didn’t press on the topic and after talking about everything else and him telling me about his travel plans with Madison over the next couple of months, you couldn’t help but feel undeniably happy for the group of friends you had found over the past years.
They all genuinely cared about each other and you especially noticed as it was starting to get darker and everyone started helping putting down the tents, making sure everyone fit their belongings in the cars, joking around with each other. How could you not feel happy?
The sun had set completely by now and everyone using their flashlights, tried their best to clean up the last pieces of trash on the campsite. You were holding your coat, looking around to see if there was anything else you could do, as you heard a hissing sound from behind you.
Looking over to Jungkook’s car, you took a couple of steps over. He had been sitting on the driver seat, his head leaned against the door frame. He had to leave the earliest because of his long drive ahead.
“Can I have a kiss before I leave?”, he asked quietly and your cheeks started blushing immediately.
“Everyone’s around right now.”, you chuckled. Jungkook bent over his head, looking around to make sure no one was watching.
“There’s literally no one here. They’re all busy.” He turned his head to face you, leaning it against the door frame and with a bright smile on your lips you sighed, unable to deny his request when he looked at you like that.
Walking over the last few steps you leaned in, standing between his legs. Jungkook put both his arms around your waist and kissed your lips gently, stroking a few hair behind your ear.
“We’ll see each other soon, yea?”, he mumbled and patted his hand on your butt a few times, almost in a comforting motion.
“We will, weirdo. Drive safe, ok? Call me if you feel tired... I’ll miss you.”, you added quickly and the smile on Jungkook’s face grew even wider.
“Yea?”, he smirked and you bit your lip a bit shy.
“Yea. Get home safe.” Hugging him tightly for a moment, you only bent back to give him one more kiss before taking a step back.
“Right, goodbye to you, Jungkook.” Namjoon had slapped the roof of the car loudly, his face popping up in the opened the passenger seat window. Thankfully you had already taken a few steps back before he had arrived and Jungkook nervously chuckled at Namjoon.
“Yea, bye. Thanks for everything.”, he smiled and the two of them did a handshake.
Walking around the car you gathered with the others to say goodbye as Jungkook was driving off, and as you waved and he honked twice, driving off the campsite, Namjoon bent over to you, with a wide grin on his face.
“You guys really aren’t as slick as you thought you were.”
Pulling up your denim jacket you ran your fingers through your hair nervously as you made your way past the big parking lot to the entrance of the fair. You felt nervous, almost a little but nauseous but there was no turning back now. Internally you wondered what it was you were afraid of. It’s not like Jungkook was going to ask you on a date, after everything that had happened, only to not show up and leave you standing there like a complete idiot.
But there always seemed to be that little fear creeping in the back of your mind.
It had gotten a lot colder over the past weeks and neither of you had managed to find time earlier to take the drive upon yourselves. Jungkook had offered to come down over the long weekend, you had offered to meet up at the fair because it was the last day it was going and Jungkook agreed to meet you there. So here you were, nervous, scared and beyond excited to see that boy again.
The voice behind you startled you and you turned around scared although you had already known it was him. His hair had grown out a little longer, it seemed a little curlier, but his bright smile was the exact same one you had missed so dearly.
“Hi..”, you mumbled and Jungkook chuckled because of the thrilled expression on your face. Lifting his arms he wrapped both of them around you tightly, hugging you in and lifting you off the ground for a second, both of your arms holding onto his neck as you chuckled at his cute gesture.
“So good to see you, love.”, he mumbled, and after setting you back down he nervously looked at you, debating whether it was fitting to give you a kiss after not seeing you for almost a month. Bending down, he gently placed a kiss on your forehead and with a bright smile on your face, you closed your eyes.
“How was your drive?”, you asked as the two of you made your way into fair, the scent of fried foods and expensive candies hitting your nose immediately.
“Was good, not that long surprisingly. You’d think the streets would be crowded but believe it or not, people usually stay home during Chuseok.”, he laughed. You looked over to him.
“Yea, you really didn’t want to celebrate with your family? I feel bad that you came all the way to see me instead of your family.”, you mumbled and Jungkook frowned a little bit, smiling down at you.
“I wanted to see you, [y/n]. Maybe I can cook for you and we can do our own little Korean thanksgiving? How does that sound.”
Jungkook raised his arm, placing it around your shoulders and with a bright smile, he looked down at you. Something about all of this felt so different from what the two of you had in the past and he was thankful for it. This did feel like a new beginning, it felt like his forever.
“Sounds absolutely lovely.”, you smiled, wrapping your arm around his waist, following him through all the game vendors. The only thing you could think of now, was that Jungkook was going to stay over. No one was here, you could be yourself around him and the best of all? There was no need to kick him out of your bedroom in the morning.
@honeytan-deactivated20201015 (idk if this is the right one? so sorry if it’s not)
If you managed to make it through to the end thank you SO much for sticking with me and being patient! I’d love it if you could reblog and like my fic and leave me some feedback! Thank you guys - I am thinking about adding a christmas continuation special so let me know if you’d be up for that! (:
THANK YOUUUU ✨💖✨
© kooala (stealing, translating or reuploading to other sites is prohibited.)
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