#but damn I remember when I was at the age nikki talks about in the song and I was like fuck yeah this is about me

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

Weird question but it's been on my mind and I have no friends. How critical do you think you need to be of the media you consume espically when you're into things from like the 80s where alot of questionable things weren't called out as much?

I mean, very critical, I think? Like you have to be aware of the context of when and where those things happened.

That reminds me of two videos I saw, that oddly enough both involve Mötley Crüe and stereotypes of asian people: one was a commercial about this Asian guy playing as a mad scientist of some sorts with a very thick and cartoonish accent who invented a machine to predict if an album was gonna sell or whatever the fuck, where he'd make listen Shout At The Devil to some boomers and if they hated it, that'd mean it's gonna be a hit (I mean, solid point but could've gone without the very racist stereotype ykwim?), and the other is when Nikki and Vince hosted Headbanger's Ball back in... somewhere in the early 90s? I forgot the year specifically, but that doesn't really matter. Point is that Nikki was going on about how Vince is very fluent in Japanese and I immediately thought "no wait that's so cool--" but I forgot that we were in the 80s/90s and Vince was just yabbering making incoherent noises trying to imitate an asian language I guess and I was legit facepalming bc it was so cringey and stupid and wrong oh my god and I was like "pls just shut up"🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

But at the same, that's what the 80s were all about, I guess? Like everything I've seen from that decade is extremely exaggerated and cartoonish (I might be a little biased bc all I've seen from that period are Crüe/hair metal mv lmao) so I just kind of accept it for what it is, bc even though a lot of the things that were done back then are questionable, there's not much we can do about it now, what matters more is that we moved on and improved as a society from that point. Like, when you consume media that are from a time period so different from the current one, I think it's important to both know when to turn off your brain so you can enjoy it without a care because in that precise moment you need a distraction but at the same time turn it on again when it's necessary to be aware that it wasn't perfect and some of the things said and done weren't good.

Like, you can enjoy a literature classic but also be aware that it might have some racist or sexist stereotypes: you have to both recognize it's a good story but also that it has its short comings due to the context and time it was written in. You have to be critical about the things you love, otherwise you'll never be able to face how reality is, which is made not of black and white, but rather shades of gray

#witchy's ask booth #mötley crüe #sorry I feel like I rambled a lot lmao but hopefully I got to the point!! #like just recently I was talking w andi about that shit they did with two girls and they stuck the phone... inside... of one of them??? #and I was like dude why do I love them again? they were so fucking disgusting #so just so you know that I'm not completely blind to their antics lmao I actually try to find as many nasty stories as possible about them #so I can be revolted and in disgust towards them #unfortunately 1) I still love them 2) they weren't the only ones doing nasty shit #80s band are the ultimate proof that cancel culture is useless and doesn't make any sense #like I am aware that I'm talking in a some kind of privileged position here bc I don't know if I'd say the same if I was asian for example #however the crue having lowkey highkey misogynistic lyrics never stopped me from enjoying the songs #even though all in the name of and its crippling p*dophilia kinda makes me uncomfortable lately when I hear the first line #but damn I remember when I was at the age nikki talks about in the song and I was like fuck yeah this is about me #so???? idk do I condone it? absolutely not #do I wish I was that teenager they talk about in that song? absolutely yes #was I aware back when I was 15 that this is very wrong? yeah kinda but I didn't really care. it was more enticing if anything #so I don't know dude we all have our contradictions #that's what humans are made of

[parkers-gal]

masterlist

requests | closed to complete current requests <3

last updated | aug 5th, 2021

do not repost my work anywhere !! respect this please. | fics are not ordered in any particular way. these headers are mine so pls don’t use/take them

tom holland

insomnia - reader can’t get to sleep; tom finds out why

driving in the rain - fluffy dinner date and rainy drive back home

workouts and warmth - when all tom wants is some after-workout cuddles

from across the living room - announcing your engagement to your families

the one - you want to move out and get your own place as a couple, but tom doesn’t. nikki talks to him. 

anything for the twins - tom massages reader’s boobies during her period

moms, makeouts, and mishaps - nikki walks in during your makeout sesh

simple acts of intimacy - a fluffy 3.1k words worth of blurbs

silver surprises - the reader surprises tom at a premiere

twenty questions - questions ensue after tom & reader get stuck in an elevator

my gut - spinoff of twenty questions with claustrophobic!reader (tw/ anxiety + attacks)

stealth mode - tom & reader scaring each other

unicorns vs pegasuses - tom shuts the reader up by kissing them

a good story - tom meets reader at a meet & greet — friendships blossom to lovers

deal breaker - tom wants kids, but the reader does not

his lap - reader asks for help in overcoming an insecurity; tom misreads the situation

pool day - pool day w/ tom + the boys

hot - the reader picks a certain song that reminds her of tom - the boys go wild

grounded by rocks - tom talks about you in an interview for cherry

your hands - when all he wants is a simple head massage

late flights - in which tom takes too much time with the fans

nobody wanted to - where only one person makes it out alive

way more than 50 - the hollands trick the reader into thinking they did something they weren’t supposed to 

why [ pt ii ] - sweet cupcakes, and a not so sweet breakup

what looks suspicious - nikki doesn’t exactly approve of tom dating the reader

something sweet - reader drops off small gifts while tom’s on set

he remembers - when tom finds the letter

missed you - reuniting w/tom after four long months

soft gangsta - tom tries to dress edgy; the reader is unconvinced

the shoe game - reader & tom play the shoe game at their wedding

too much - when the reader has a rough time with work, tom comforts them

losing grip [ pt ii ] - a losing battle between the reader and a hereditary disease causes heartbreak

your captain america - protective!tom holland of young reader (age gap)

sexy genius - reader is a fan of (and meets) jake gyllenhaal

teddy bear cuddles - tom wears an oversized hoodie

nonsense - the boys think the reader is meddling with tom’s work

circles before yourself - rule #2 - osterfield!reader gets caught with tom

seventeen times - when the reader is having a hard time in lock down, tom tries to help (TW // depression)

pixie dust hair - tom assures insecure!reader that the pixie haircut looks good <3

a few more months - reader passes out during a run; tw // excessive exercising

tiktok au’s

body ody ody - tom gets a little jealous over a few social media comments 

sweats in the supermarket - getting tom hard when he wears sweats

put your records on - trying not to kiss each other first

mood killer - saying dirty things into tom’s ear

say it back - pranking tom by not saying ily back to him

two different ways - tom choking the reader to get two different reactions 

brutal - doing the “did you mean to post this?” trend on tom 

worst thirty minutes of my life - playing a drinking game with tom to see who gives into cuddles first

my girl’s cuddles - crawling into tom’s lap 

even - buying hot leggings & taping tom’s reaction 

goofball - a silly way to reveal reader’s pregnancy to tom 

end the debate - “i found out why my boobs are small” trend

slam the car door - doing the car door prank on tom 

water bottle wars - the boys ask you and tom questions about each other. wrong answers result in sprayed water 

get you back real good - you & the boys prank tom after watching a scary movie 

peachy - sighing / moaning in front of tom playing video games to get his reaction

my princess - tom does a tiktok where he guesses all your answers to everyday questions

dad!tom

needles and needs - when scarlet has to get shots, you realize she may not be the only one that needs comforting

all my girls - scarlet meets her baby sister for the first time (dad!tom)

everything i love about u - tom is afraid baby red might hate him for leaving home too much

a little extra help - stepdad!tom being the best dad to your daughter

through the tears - pregnant!reader goes into labour, and baby holland meets the family

first feed - tom watches you breastfeed for the first time

warmth from the love - baby holland’s first Christmas

first words - baby holland speaks for the first time

breaking the internet - when your pregnancy announcement crashes multiple apps/websites (pregnant!reader)

breaking the internet... again - when baby holland breaks the internet

boyfriends and brunch - when jade brings home her boyfriend (aged!up)

big sister + how are babies made - telling scarlet about the baby on the way (pregnant!reader)

too many kids - the reader’s dad has some commentary about the twins

mumma’s girl - tom gets jealous when scarlet isn’t a daddy’s girl

angels - a little skin to skin time with his best girl

family man - after a nasty breakup, tom finds out you had his child

cheesy uncles - telling paddy he’s going to be an uncle

ag!reader (more to come !!)

y’all really get nasty - tom and the fans discuss ag!reader’s songs

my favorite things - ag!reader performs in front of the mcu cast at the grammy’s

34 + 35 - the boys react to reader’s new song(s)

34 + 35 remix - the boys reacting to the remix

his remedy - the boys react to positions deluxe

neglected - AG!reader breaks up w tom because of their job; tom searches for answers

low-key wants him - reader talks about how much nonna (+ her fam) loves tom

see u soon - reader interacts with tom while on stage for the swt

a few spilled secrets - AG!reader performs on jimmy fallon’s show.. tom and her confess a few secrets

for the first time - when the reader breaks down crying while singing about her ex, tom is there to comfort her

dance with me, rain on me - reader has a hard time on set, tom to the rescue

every tomorrow - the first album release night after your breakup

here we go again - introducing tom (+ the boys) to your celebrity friends

condoms or safety nets - the boys react to AG!reader’s song “safety net”

we’re not engaged - AG!reader announcing to the world why they no longer have a fiance... (fluffy)

the late late show - AG!reader & tom do spill your guts or fill your guts

pain from pleasure - dad!tom goes through a birth simulator — controlled by the reader

never have i ever - tom & the reader play a game on the late late show

fluffy hair - ag!reader has a zoom interview with zach sang. tom makes an appearance

fighting off the haters - ag!reader and older!tom holland (age gap) attend an award show after going public

run your hands thru my hair - tom reacts to ag!reader’s song “my hair”

stick to acting - tom tries to make a beat for ag!reader

practically twins - reader meets sebastian & anthony at comic con

damn lucky - black!reader wears her hair naturally during an interview

what a piece - reader talks about tom related songs & tattoos

flip it - tom talks about reader in an interview

at the door - older!reader & tom fight off haters

a headcannon of ag!reader being a marvel cast member

a headcannon of tom & the reader attending the avengers endgame premiere

styles!reader (more to come !!)

bathroom kisses - makeout sessions with tom and styles!reader in the bathroom

yeah, he is - tom holland x styles!reader meet the styles family; protective older brother harry makes an appearance

unparalleled love - older brother harry styles makes a speech at reader’s wedding

grilled - date night for tom & styles!reader is a bit difficult with two kids; older brother!harry to the rescue

baby showers and brothers - dad!tom & styles!reader are going to be parents

potential boyfriend - tom has a crush on the reader when they first meet

ts!reader (more to come!!)

trust me - tom & the reader defend her after nikki doesn’t approve

your london boy - tom & co. + the world reacts to “london boy”

boy of my dreams - tom being proud of the reader for winning a grammy

rapper!tom

tom records your sounds during sex for his music (hc)

tom talks about you in an interview

concepts: one , two , three

professor!tom

my pretty girl - tom gets jealous when reader gets many valentines

other reader tropes

cherry - reader is a screenwriter for tom’s upcoming movie

no shouting - singer!reader needs some help after paparazzis are too much (based on a video of tom)

pregnancy belly - actress!reader has to wear a pregnancy belly for her role, and the boys tease tom about when it’ll be real

we march - actress!reader being a huge feminist

passions & pediatricians - pediatrician-to-be!reader meets tom

politics - reader’s granpa is joe biden (requested) and tom meets him

extra support - psychiatrist!reader helps tom on the set of cherry

you made it big - tom holland x actress!reader at the after party

partition - the boys react to famous!reader singing partition

senorita - singer!reader makes a music video with shawn, who’s tom’s new best friend

miniseries 

boomerang: one , two , three , four [completed]

peter parker

making amends

➢ enemies to lovers ; college!peter x super soldier!reader ; 30k words ; sorta slow burn

cheeky guy, favorite thighs - college!peter doing a tik tok challenge — between the reader’s thighs [tik tok au]

a little nicer - doing the prank on peter (”you could’ve been a little nicer to me today”)

start searching - first make out sessions with our best boy :)

hidden hickeys - the avengers think innocence of peter, until they’re proven wrong

the team - part two of hidden hickeys; reader meets the avengers

all of you - late night talks about your future with peter :’)

like you wouldn’t believe - reader tells mj about her & peter’s awesome sex

slip from my hands - roommate!peter comforts the reader after a nightmare

i’d wait for her - college!peter parker needs to come to terms with you and your boyfriend

shut up and kiss me - soft make out sessions with peter :)

all the good things in the world, and i get you - insecure!reader needs a little reassuring 

modern chivalry - peter being a gentleman on the subway

eggnog and mistletoe - peter helps you love the holidays

the force awakens? it sleeps - a little extra comfort & care from our favorite baby boyfriend 

a prince - wonder woman!reader meets spider-man (& avengers) in a mission

steve rogers fics - peter finds you reading fanfiction abt steve rogers

fanboy!peter

fanboys and bracelets - fanboy!peter parker goes to famous!singer!reader’s meet and greet

fanboys and phone numbers - fanboy!peter parker continuation 

showing around - fanboy!peter gets VIP access; some dancing ensues

stark!reader + avengers!reader

if you knew feelings - the avengers want you & peter to break up

sleeping - peter misinterprets a few important questions

the may to your ben - college!best friend!peter parker x stark!reader fluff

race ya - peter confesses his feelings for rogers!reader after a mission — on comms

frat bathrooms - stark!reader joins the avengers where she sees college!peter, the boy she slept with at a frat party

rainy days - reader doesn’t like rainy days, a certain wall-climber changes their mind

already got her - jealous!peter makes a public confession

flustered!peter

a nervous one - flustered!peter parker sees cheerleader!reader in her uniform

one day soon - flustered!peter parker x affectionate!reader

all better - flustered!peter parker does some lab flirting with reader

dad!peter + pregnant!reader

unplanned  [ part ii ] - reader gets pregnant... breaks up with peter to avoid it all

burrito wraps - reader worries that baby parker might be cold

a name to remember - latine!reader & peter give their girl a special name

you’re magic - a certain wall crawler hears two heartbeats

sgt. bucky barnes

first cuddles - bucky asks to cuddle for the first time

harry holland

golden light, the love of my life - the boys tease harry —on a live video— for being whipped

it won’t f^cking open - harry lends a helping hand

how much i - those three magical words are exchanged for the first time

cuddly koala moments - time the reader just needed harry’s warmth

anything for hands - the reader cuts harry’s hair on instagram live

your other best friend - the reader is sam’s new friend, but harry thinks they like tom instead

you’re my anchor - harry has an anxiety attack, but the reader knows what to do

what’s his [ pt ii ] - when everything thinks the reader should date tom instead, harry snaps

whipped fries - harry brags about the reader winning the pub quiz for them

tell me, show me - the reader makes harry flustered by playing w/the strings from his sweatpants

keep your cool - tom setting u up with his brother // nikki being wary

ag!reader

you’re such a dream to me — ag!reader writes r.e.m. about harry

harry styles

intoxicating - soft bubbles baths with long haired!harry 

frayed braids - reader braids long haired!harry’s hair

others:

harrison osterfield

not anymore - when harrison comes back from filming, he’s determed to win the reader’s heart

irreversible - when relationships fall apart, people fall apart. (infidelity)

circles before yourselves - rule #1  - harrison x osterfield!reader (sister) when brothers talk, bad things begin

think of her - harrison asks your family for their blessing [holland!sister]

steve harrington

together not never - steve discovers the reader is pregnant

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker x reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #peter parker x you #peter parker fluff #tom holland fluff #peter parker angst #tom holland angst #peter parker imagine #tom holland oneshot #peter parker blurb #tom holland hc #peter parker x reader insert #tom holland fic #peter parker fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x fem!reader #dad!peter parker #college!peter parker #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x artist!reader #harry styles x reader #steve harrington #hary holland x reader #harry styles fic

[suchalonelysunflower]

Take Your Feelings, Put Them Into a Song (A.I)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Wallows! Fem! Reader

Requested: yes!

Summary: Y/N Sixx, bassist from the famous band Wallows, is helping 5SOS write their latest album CALM. If only she could keep her crush on the drummer under control…

Warnings: Fluff. Language. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 4.6 k

Author’s Note: IM BACK! Remember that Reblogs, Likes, Comments and Feedback are very important! You have no idea how much they help 💕 Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

anon: Can you do a one-shot where the reader was born on 1996 and she’s the daughter of Nikki Sixx and Brandi Brandt and it’s the bassist and songwriter of Wallows (…) and she helps 5sos write songs for the album CALM and starts dating Ashton and the fans go nuts (in a good way) with shipping? There’s no drama like it was in EUH

It was another boring day in the studio and you would literally prefer to do anything else than to listen to Cole talk about the last date he had instead of working on your new song. But inspiration was lacking between you and your bandmates and you really had no other choice since you already took that time on the studio’s schedule.

One would believe that you would be used to dull times in the studio, having spent a lot of time on them while growing up with your parents, but boredom was a cruel crime inside your head and today your patience was running thin.

“Hey, peanut!” Dylan called your attention “Everything good there?”

You were laying on the sofa, looking at the ceiling for some kind of saving grace, but Dylan’s voice brought you back to your reality.

“Are we going to get something done today?” You asked with a sigh, with your eyes still glued to the ceiling “Cause we are really just wasting time by now and I don’t think Cole’s last fling will bring any kind of inspo into our little group”

“Hey!” Cole protested, earning a chuckle from Braeden.

“Whatever,” You said, already getting up from your spot “I’m going to take a walk”

You took a deep breath once you closed the door to your private room. You loved the guys, you really do, but sometimes people can be too much, especially people who you spend every single day and hour with.

Memories from the past year started to fill your mind and you smiled when thinking about how much your little band has grown. Wallows was now everywhere, you created a name for yourself without using your parent’s influence and you were so damn proud of that, yet when moments like these come around - the moments where you just need to breathe to escape the reality for just a while - you start to reflect on every choice you made and if they were the right ones.

It’s the overthinking that got you to write those first lyrics in the first place, the ones that were put into songs and now were, somehow, all over TikTok with thousands of people relating to them. So maybe, overthinking now might not be such a bad idea after all.

“It’s a terrible idea if you think about it for more than one minute, mate”

You stopped in your tracks when you heard that voice, thinking that maybe you were finally going crazy or someone could’ve read your mind. But it wasn’t until you heard someone else answer that you realized it was a conversation.

“Well, I don’t know what to do with it anymore!”

You turned your head to the left and smiled when you saw the little sign that said “5SOS now in session. DO NOT DISTURB” And realized that your other favorite boys were back in town.

Of course you ignored the sign and knocked on the door a couple of times before opening it shamelessly.

“Well, well, well…” You said with a teasing smile as you leaned over the door frame “If it isn’t my second favorite Aussie band”

The faces of two of the members of said band light up once they realize it was you, quickly getting up to wrap you in a hug.

“Mini Sixx!” Calum said, ruffling his hand through your hair “About time you came to visit us”

You pushed him and Luke away from you “And you should’ve told me you’re back from your break! I could’ve escaped Dylan and the other minions earlier”

“Rough session?” Luke asked, seating down and patting the place next to him for you to sit on.

“Oh, you have no idea”

You loved the 5sos guys, it was impossible not to. Ever since you met them at a label party in 2015 when you were introduced to them because you were the same age as half of the group, you knew that they were made to be on the stage.

It was easy to become their friend, given their welcoming attitude and easy-going smiles even before they found out who your parents were. It was nice for a change not to be Y/N Sixx, daughter of the famous bassist of Mötley Crüe and famous Playboy doll Brandi Brandt, for a moment and just be Y/N, a bassist that had a lot to give to the world. And with the boys you didn’t even have to try to be someone you were not, with them everything was just so… real.

Just like now, where you were allowed to complain about your lovely bandmates to them and they would complain just as well, with no judgment nor responsibilities, just three friends letting out some steam due to the stress of your careers.

“-And basically we don’t know what else to do with the song” Luke finished his rant on the missing piece of their new song for their next album.

“And you have the lyrics ready?”

“Yeah, me and my girl wrote it a few weeks ago but the melody is just…”

“It’s missing something” Calum finished for him with a sigh.

You hummed “Can I see it?”

The two Australians got to work, playing the song with the piano and the guitar and you came to the conclusion that they were right: there was something big missing.

“So it’s a ballad,” You said, thinking of ways to fix it.

“Technically yes, but when you play it like that it sounds incomplete and the lyrics won’t work with another type of rhythm” Luke sighed “We’ve been at it for days now.”

You stayed quiet for a while, reviewing the lyrics and melody more carefully now, analyzing the situation with different approaches but without getting anywhere. It was a beautiful song, it truly was, but it needed something else, something that could create a “boom” sensation for whoever was listening.

Something like…

“Hey guys, have you finished with the- Oh, Hey, Y/N/N!” Ashton said, opening the door and finding you with his bandmates in deep concentration.

Bingo.

“Uh, why are you smiling at me like that?” Ashton asked you with a chuckle, but you didn’t even address him as you turned to Luke and Calum.

“It needs drums”

“What?” The three men said in unison. You rolled your eyes and snatched the notes from Calum’s lap and started to sing the melody.

“Here!” You pointed out “In this part, before finishing the first chorus: I already made, already made that…” And then you started to make drum noises and movements with your arms for them to get the idea.

In a matter of seconds, Luke got up from his seat and walked towards you, taking the notes from you and reviewing them with new eyes, smiling as he got the idea.

“Ha!” He laughed loudly, “You’re a fucking genius!”

“Thank you,” You said with a smug smile as you, Calum and Luke started to discuss the arrangements.

“Wait, hold up” Ashton interrupted the chatter “Y/N, I appreciate you trying to help and no offense and all but I think this isn’t your place to just decide something like that,” He said, pointing to the three of you.

You rolled your eyes. You’ve dealt with stubborn people before, but Ashton did take a spot on your top three and you knew just how to handle him.

“Wow,” You said sarcastically with a teasing smile “One would think that by being half of the rhythm section you would have more… I don’t know, rhythm?”

Ashton crooked an eyebrow and you and you knew you had him in the bag “I just don’t think-”

“You don’t think?” You said, getting up from your chair and walking up to him to be almost chest to chest. You looked up to his eyes and challenged him “Or you just can’t handle the fact that I might’ve had a better idea than you”

You could see by the sparkle in his eyes that he has taken the challenge to heart. He took a step closer to you, almost pressing his body completely against yours, and smirked.

“Want me to prove you wrong, princess?” He teased but you didn’t back up.

“I’d like to see you try, darling”

Ashton’s smirk widened as he took a step back, turning his head towards Luke and Calum who were watching the scene with intrigued eyes and knowing smiles “Get your asses back in the recording booth”

He followed them as they walked into the big recording space they had, but not before sending you a wink seconds after he closed the door.

You were thankful he didn’t see you blush.

Once they were all set with their instruments - Calum on the keys, Luke on the guitar, and Ashton behind his drum set - You pressed the buttons of the console that would make it possible for you to hear them at the other side of the mirrored glass.

“Okay boys, show me what you got”

*

You became an official 5SOS songwriter after that day and even Ashton had to admit that you were adding so much more to the band lyrics and melodies since you started to work with them.

Every day you would find yourself walking towards their studio after your band’s session and you start to work wherever they left off. It was a simple dynamic that worked wonders for everyone and after every session, you would get even more inspired to write your own music for Wallows, so it was a win-win situation, not to mention, spending time with your new co-workers; especially a particular drummer that grew closer to you that you would’ve ever imagined.

When you first met the band you hit it off pretty quickly with Luke and Calum, them being the same age as you and having pretty much the same interests; then came Michael that shared a similar sense of humor with you and with whom you discussed videogames with. But Ashton was always the one that you consciously tried to not get too close to.

In all honesty, he intimidated you but not in a bad way. He was smart, talented, and super funny, not to mention also ridiculously handsome. But he was also stubborn, a little bit egotistical, and the only one that could keep up with you in a battle of wits, teasing, and sarcasm. And you knew that if you mixed that all together it might mean trouble, especially when he smiled at you like that.

Of course you had a crush on him, who wouldn’t? But the fact is that you know what it is like to date in the industry and having feelings for a member of another pretty famous band might bring some tension to the table, so it was safer to play the crushing card and just stay friends. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself every day since you started to see him regularly and spend more time with him than with any other of the two bands.

Speaking of…

“Earth to Y/N?” Called Braeden waving a hand in front of your face “Is anybody there?”

You blinked a few times before pushing his hand away with a scoff “Very funny, B. What’s up?”

“You spaced out again” Cole added, fidgeting with his drumsticks “Just when we were going to start complimenting you on that bass line you wrote the other day…”

You smiled as you threw a pillow at him that he was able to easily dodge “Sorry, I was just-”

“Thinking about a particular drummer again?” Dylan teased, to which Cole added.

“I knew it wouldn’t take long for you to fall in love with me”

You searched for other pillows and started to throw them at your band members, giggling as they started to throw them back at you and starting an improvised pillow fight in the middle of the recording booth.

“Hey, Y/N/N! I was wondering if you-” Ashton’s sentence was cut short as he opened the door and took in the scene that was in front of him.

You were so busy chasing Breaden with a pillow on each hand and a devilish smile that you didn’t even notice when the door opened or that Ashton was standing there, smiling at you with his arms crossed as you aimed at your bandmate's head.

“Oh look, peanut!” Dylan said teasingly “You knight in shiny armor is here to-” But before he could say anything more embarrassing, you threw a pillow directly at his face to shut him out.

You quickly turned your head to Ashton who was fairly amused by your battle skills and smiled at him.

“Hey!” You said breathlessly after chasing down the others.

“Hi,” He smiled back “Am I interrupting something or?”

“Nah, you’re good,” You said, throwing one last pillow at your three friends that stood in a corner blowing teasing kisses and puppy eyes at the two of you “These assholes and I are done for the day” You commented before said assholes started to pout and complain, but you were already out the door before they could say something embarrassing again.

“So…” Ashton trailed off, starting to walk alongside you with his hands in his front pockets.

“So,” You said, drifting your eyes from him and praying to the universe that he didn’t hear anything or else it would make the blush on your face even pinker “You needed me for something?”

You wanted to get the topic of work right there in the open as soon as possible, not wanting him to notice how nervous you got when you were alone with him. At least when you were talking about work you leveled the ground in some parts.

“Actually, I’m going home early today” He smiled softly “Luke and the guys are working on a love song that’s just way too happy and butterflies - in - your -stomach like and I didn’t think they needed me there if I can’t bring nothing to the table”

“You’re not a lovey-dovey feeling kinda guy?” You teased by bumping your arm with his, earning a “hey” from him “I actually get it, I’m not that kind of person either”

“It’s not like I don’t like it, it’s just that-”

“You process your emotions differently, and it’s easier to write those when you think of love in other stages and/or mixed with other complex emotions because-”

“Love is not just one-sided! Yes!” Ashton celebrated, amazed that you could understand what he was saying “I knew you would get it”

That comment made your cheeks heat up as you looked at him, all dimpled smiles and light chuckled as he looked at you with sparkly hazel eyes. Oh no…

“Well,” You said, breaking that little moment “If they are going to work on that all day then I guess I would head home, too. I don’t think I’ll be able to provide anything else either”

“Actually,” Ashton said as he stopped in the middle of the hall leading to the exit, making you stop as well and turn to him “I was wondering if you would want to get some coffee with me now that we are both free. Of course, if you really are free and have nothing else to do and want to actually drink coffee or tea… or maybe not and you’re not that type of person and-”

“Are you asking me out?”

Ashton stopped his rambling and looked at you with an incredulous smile and lightly blushed cheeks.

“I- well, yeah,” He said shyly “Yeah, I am”

You smiled and softly chuckled “Look at the famous drummer all nervous” You teasingly took a step closer to him, not knowing where this confidence was coming from, and he did the same “It’s just me, you know?”

“And that’s exactly the reason why”

“Do I make you nervous, darling?”

“Let’s say that if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have rambled like that, princess”

You pressed your lips in a thin line and smiled as you looked away from him, blushing like a teenager on her first date.

“So…” You trailed off.

“So?”

“Lead the way”

*

From that moment both of your routines changed once again. Now you took time off the studio at least two times a week to go with Ashton on those small friendly dates as he took you out for coffee or just simple but meaningful talks.

Soon enough you lost all the doubts that made you nervous around him, seeing how easy it was to talk to him and how much you had in common in more aspects than just music. You became more comfortable around him and your level of teasing and playing grew alongside your relationship, not to mention the level of teasing and playing you received from your band members and the other 3 Aussies who joined in on all the fun.

You were used to blushing and dismissing comments about your - undeniable - crush on the drummer, but Ashton didn’t seem to be affected by them at all. On the contrary, Ashton played along and even seemed like he was enjoying it. Like in one particular occasion where you were working on a song together and Michael said:

“Oh my god, date her already!”

Ashton didn’t blink an eye before responding “I’m trying! But she just wants to focus on the harmonies”

And you’d be lying if you said that didn’t put a smile on your face.

Yet, you kept it all professional while being in the studio; no need to mix your personal lives with whatever was going on down there, that’s why those coffee runs were your favorites.

It was an unspoken rule between the two of you that “work-talk” was forever banned from those outings.

“So what are we going to talk about?” You asked him the first time you went into his favorite coffee shop.

“Us” He simply answered, unaware of the butterflies he just set in your stomach.

“Us?”

“Yeah, I want to get to know you better, princess. Who is Y/N Sixx?”

“Who is Ashton Irwin?”

“I asked first”

“I asked second” You countered

Ashton smiled widely “You think you’re clever…”

“It doesn’t matter what I think” You answered, casually sipping on your coffee “I know I’m clever just like I know you like me that way”

You were testing the waters back then, hiding the shaking of your knees under the table as you longed to know how he felt about it. But the way he smiled and how he blushed a little bit made all your fears go away.

“Yeah, that I do”

Your cheeks turned red whenever you reminisced about that moment - or any moment that you spent with Ashton for that matter - which gave you the perfect idea for a song.

“I don’t want to kill my time with somebody else…” You hummed to yourself as you wrote down what you think is the chorus to a new song.

You told Ashton that you were not the type to write silly love songs or very uplifting songs; but there was something in that memory, something in that feeling that you couldn't ignore or just let it be without doing something about it. So, you started to write it.

You couldn't separate the feeling from the art, after all, feelings were what led you to dedicate your life to music. People would say it was because of your parent’s influence but they had little to nothing to do with your decision. This was you, the authentical you writing whatever came to mind and then sharing it with the world and only a few people will get it in its entirety. And surely Ashton was one of them.

“Dadadada something, want you all to myself”

“Wacha doing there, princess?”

Speaking of the devil.

Ashton smiled at you as he hunched over the table you were working on, trying to peek at what you were writing. You lifted the notebook and pressed it against your chest faking offense as he giggled.

“Didn’t your mother taught you not to sneak up on people, darling?” You asked as he walked around your workspace and sat himself down on the chair next to you “Besides, you’re late. You were supposed to meet me here like half an hour ago!”

“Aww, sorry Sixx” Ashton pouted “But there were no chocolate chip cookies left in the shop so I had to go around town to get you some” He then put a bag of freshly made cookies on top of the table with a cup filled with coffee.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know?”

“Of course I did! You always only eat chocolate chips cookies in the afternoon”

He started to giggle again, ignoring the way you were looking at him “How did you know that?”

“C’mon, Y/N/N, every time we go for coffee you order two, one for the coffee and another one for the road. And every time we cater something you never touch anything but those cookies”

“I never knew you were so observant”

Ashton shrugged “I just pay attention if I like what I see,” He said nonchalantly with a wink, making you blush instantly, but you covered it up with an eye roll.

“God, you’re terrible” You scoffed.

“I’m honest!” You shook your head and went back to writing, but Ashton was not going to let that go so easily. “Look, how else could I know that you always put an extra bag of sugar in your coffee?”

“‘Cause I always drink the same thing,” You said without looking up from your notebook.

“Yeah, a mocha latte with extra chocolate drizzle and no foam. Honestly, how can you handle that much sugar?” You were about to answer but he caught you off. “But that’s not all you drink, whenever you have a bad day you always order a cup of mango and ginger tea because that’s your mother’s favorite drink and it helps you calm down. You also don’t want anyone to know that you’re having a bad day but the minute someone looks away your smile starts to flatter until you’re back in the conversation”

You stopped the writing completely as you turned to him, suddenly feeling how your heart started to jump all over your chest as he kept talking, eyes never leaving yours as he gave you a soft smile, almost as if he was remembering all those moments with you.

“You draw flowers on the corner of your notebooks whenever you feel bored. You love the sad songs on the radio and you know every single word to Lorde’s Melodrama, yet every time you have to choose a playlist you put 2000’s pop and R&B songs because it hypes you up. You hate awkward silences unless you are the one being quiet. You help Dylan dye his hair every time he asks you to because you would trust each other with your lives, you give Cole relationship advice because you care about him and he always appreciates your advice more than anyone’s and Braeden is your best friend because you always say that he is one of the few people that could make you laugh in a bad day and you have no idea how much I want to be included in that list”

“Ashton-”

“You write better with dim light, it helps you concentrate on your work. You say you don’t believe in astrology yet you check your horoscope every day. You want to make sure that everyone has a good time and feels included, that’s why you always make conversations with Micahel about games you never even heard before or let Luke braid your hair when he’s bored or how you switched topics when you noticed that Calum was not engaging as much in a conversation. You literally take care of everyone but you never let anyone take care of you, and when we do you get all shy and you blush as you say thank you and you have no idea how fucking adorable you look”

You sat there speechless as he spoke. You felt the back of your throat dry as you tried to find the right words to answer all of that.

It was too much. The fact that he knew all of that and how he said it like he was just talking about his favorite things in the world, it was just too much but at the same time, you want to hear him say that again.

A weird sense of joy and shyness came over you as he set his hazel eyes on yours. You gave him a small smile as you averted your gaze to the floor.

“Wow, I-” You started “I never thought someone noticed all that”

“How could I not?” You heard him say “You’re all I can think about and to say that I don’t notice you is like saying I don’t notice the sun in the sky or the stars at night. You’re the brightest light out there, Y/N, you shine everywhere you go”

You noticed how he pulled his chair closer to you and suddenly you felt how your chair started to slowly turn his way until you were face to face.

Ashton carefully placed his fingers under your chin and tilted your head until you were finally looking into his eyes again.

“There she is!” He smiled when he noticed your blushing cheeks and gleaming eyes.

“What do you mean when you say I’m all you think about?” You asked expectantly, curling your fingers nervously on top of your thighs.

Ashton chuckled. “Well, if you didn’t notice, I really fucking like you, Y/N”

You looked up at him, smiling with hopeful eyes and feeling as if a weight was lifted off your chest thanks to the joy you were experiencing while hearing those words.

“You do?”

“Unless you don’t like me back and I just spilled my feelings for nothing-” You smacked him playfully in the arm “Ouch! I’m kidding! Of course I like you! Fuck, Y/N I’ve been falling for years now and I thought I was being pretty obvious”

You laughed “I thought you were just playing!”

In an instant, Ashton pulled your chair closer and grabbed you by the hip, lifting you up and making you sit on his lap as he hugged you by the waist and you placed your arms around his neck.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life,” He said, “I’ll do anything to prove it”

“Well,” You said, pressing a kiss to his cheek and knocking your forehead to his “How about you help me finish this song and then you take me on a date? Cause I’ve been falling for you, too and I don’t want to waste any more time”

Ashton hummed as he nuzzled his nose against your cheek, kissing it softly as he murmured “Will I get to kiss my princess at midnight?”

“Maybe… or you can take your chances now if you’d like”

He smiled.

“I like those odds”

And just before you know it, he softly pressed his lips against yours; finally creating a happy beginning for the two of you.

Instagram Posts

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tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @major5sosstan @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee @superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-luke @alltimesos @girlwhosimps @wontlastimokwiththat @ttinahood @lukespitinmymouth @perfectnouis

#ashton irwin #5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin fic #suchalonelysunflower #5sos ashton #ashton 5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfiction #5sos writing #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5 seconds of summer ashton #ashton fletcher irwin #wallows #wallows! reader #ashton x reader #ashton x you #fanfic #ashton fic #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part eighty nine/

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: Hi! Enjoy the update!

Warnings:major angst

Taglist:   , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, ,  @a-simple-salmon,  @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, ,  @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill-blog @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls-blog,  @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, , @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream,  @broke-n-bitchy​,  @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @herbertweeest, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001,  @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @nassauartist  @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe,  @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong  @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @xxisxxisxxis, @dogmom2014, @cruesixxlover1991,  @m0rnlngstar,  @findingmyths,  @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @patheticgay69 , @redlipscrystalskies14, @samanthadegaro @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @thechangingme, , @makaelahdelvalle

*Nikki’s POV*

I sighed heavily through my nostrils, resting my head against the couch as I sucked on a hard piece of watermelon flavored candy. Dr. Peterson left a few very persistent voicemails on my phone as well as pages on my pager, attempting to get me to come to the therapy office. Reluctantly I agreed, but I wish I didn’t as I assumed Vanity would be here too, however she’s not.

“Hey Doc…” I speak lightly when she walks in, sitting directly across from me in the leather chair as she crosses one knee over the other.

“Thank you for coming in Nikki, I’m sure you are a very busy man.” She eyes the handful of empty candy wrappers on the oak coffee table, “It’s new candy, I just put it there today…and looks like I have to add more.” She smiles as she jokes.

“I like the strawberry ones better…and it’s okay, I wasn’t super busy today. Sorry for taking long to get back to you.” I sit up more in the chair as she opens up her folder and takes out the good ‘ol notepad.

“So how’ve you been? Anything new?”

I shake my head, “I’m okay, just been busy. We finally wrapped up the album, then we do some promoting and then we hit the road for tour.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that it’s hectic and time consuming. Have you taken anytime for yourself to relax recently?”

My lips pull into a small grin, “Is this where you poke my brain and tell me I’m putting myself into work too much?”

Crystal chuckles a bit, “Do you think you’re putting too much of yourself into work?”

“It’s my job? I kinda don’t have a choice. Not like anyone else is writing songs, well good ones for that matter.”

She nods, “So you’re the one in charge? excuse my ignorance, I don’t really follow your music. I’m sure that’s stressful having everyone depend on you. Do you deal with stress well?”

I shrugged, “I don’t have to write all the songs, it just happens that way.” I chuckle a bit under my breath, “Too loud for you? I mean, yeah it’s stressful. I used to go out and get high, but then that overtook everything. Now I just work out or take my camera out or write more songs to relax.”

“Just not my cup of tea, Nikki. Have you done any of that recently? Vanity mentioned shopping helps her relax.”

I roll my eyes and laugh, “Anything that revolves around spending money sounds good to her. And no, I haven’t had the time. Stuck at rehearsal with the band and when I’m not at rehearsal I’m hanging out with the band at a bar.” I stare when she writes something down, “Taking notes already?”

She glances at me, “I do it with everyone, you know that. So you only hang out with the guys? The same guys you’re around all day? You never really escape work, do you?”

“Well…I mean no…but I have fun when I’m with them. Tommy and I are like practically married and Mick is fun and John is cool too. I see Tommy constantly cause Van and Clementine are best friends. Sometimes it’s a little much. At times I just want to take a break but I know I can’t because it’s my music and it keeps the nice things flowing and Arianna’s school.” I explain to her, “I mean…I would have enough to take a break for a long time but still…I don’t want too.”

“Tommy, right…Vanitys mentioned him a few times, same with Clementine. But why are you so worried about money? Vanity has money does she not?”

“Yeah…god mother of the year.” I roll my eyes, “Yeah, yeah…Van has plenty of money for her, she’s a great mom. I missed out on a lot the first few years of Arianna’s life so I just want to make up for that.”

“Well…as you know, everything you missed could have been prevented. Kids don’t remember a lot from their childhood anyways, with the exception of a severe traumatic even happening. They usually won’t start remembering moments until the ages of 7 and 8.”

I glare a bit, “I don’t need to be told the same thing I already know. If I had kept my dick in my pants I wouldn’t have missed anything, I know.” I lean forward reaching for another piece of candy and shoving it in my mouth.

“Theres no reason to jump to the defense Nikki. We’re just talking.” I would think she was being condescending if she wasn’t a damn therapist.

“Right-“ I roll my eyes, “Talking? You’re blaming me for it.”

“Well who is to blame them? Vanity? You’d be surprised to know she never wants to talk about this.”

“Wait-no, no. You’re twisting my words. No, it’s not her fault, it’s mine. But still, she could have called or retuned my letter letting me know.” I defend myself as she looks at me.

“Nikki, we can spend all day talking about the things Vanity, should’ve or could’ve done differently. We can talk for hours about how things were suppose to go differently.”

“Then why the hell did you bother me? What could you possibly want to talk about if it’s not that?”

“How are the dates going? Let’s start there.”

I stare at her a moment, rubbing my knees as I take a breath, “I don’t know…Donna, she’s great but she’s just…she’s just not Vanity.” I look away feeling disappointed, not because it wasn’t working, but in myself. That it took me seeing someone else to figure out what I wanted, “Donna’s hot and funny, well tries to be funny. But she hangs on to every word I say, thinks I’m right about everything, doesn’t ever disagree with me…it’s…it’s boring. I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve been with Vanity for so long, that nobody else can compare or what. But I just…it’s not working. Donna’s too clingy anyways.”

“Really?” Crystal sounds surprised, “You were so vocal about seeing other people.”

“Well…I wasn’t excited about it. I did it because I thought thats what Van wanted. I just wanted to help fix us. I would do anything for us, for her.” I sigh as I lean back against the cushion.

“You thought.” She pointed out, “You assumed and didn’t really ask what would have helped, did you?”

“Well…I-“ I stumble over my words before sighing, “No, I didn’t. I just took the first suggestion that was brought up. I wanted to get out of the office before I was ganged up on.”

Crystal chuckles, “Nobody thought about ganging up on you Nikki. You just don’t like when you aren’t in control, that is both of your issues.”

“I don’t have control issues.” I glance at Crystal as she stares at me, “What? I don’t.”

“Yes you do, wether you like to admit it or not. You mentioned earlier it’s always you writing songs because nobody else will do it.” She says, using air quotes might I add as I glare in return, “I’m sure they would if you backed off and gave them a chance.”

“I just like to make sure things are perfect, there’s nothing wrong with that. Mick isn’t interested and Tommy wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Nikki, maybe if you gave them a chance they would shine and pressure would be taken off your shoulders. Nothing has to be perfect, there’s no such thing as that.”

I roll my eyes, “Okay, so maybe I have a slight control problem but this, the band, has been the only thing in my life I actually have control over.”

“And the other parts you don’t? Can you tell me about it?”

I groan in annoyance, “Oh come on. I’m sure Vanity has mentioned a thing or two about me. I’m sure she’s told you all about the reason why I’m fucked up is because of my childhood.” I reach for a candy disk, unwrapping it before popping it into my mouth.

“The subject has came up once or twice but Vanity never dived deep, she said it wasn’t her place to talk about it. Do you want to talk about it?” She asks softly, like how every other therapist in the past has done.

“No, not really. But I just moved around a lot as a kid…”

“Oh, well I’m sure that had an affect on you. Always being the new kid and what not. Are you parents still together? They must be so proud of you.”

I laughed, probably a little too loud “God no. My dad split when I was a kid and my mom and I don’t talk, at all. Every time we do it explodes into something bigger.”

“I’m sorry for that, I’m sure it was hard without a dad in the picture. So your mom raised you?”

Again, I laugh, “Here and there when she wanted me. Half the time I’d be with my grandparents.”

She glances at me, “Is this why you’re so scared of failing as a father?”

I stare at her a moment, “I’m not like my dad. I didn’t just abandon the girls. I begged her to move here so we could be a family.”

“So…they had to uproot the life Vanity had built for them in New York to make you comfortable? Which is essentially what you had to do every time you moved as a child?”

I shake my head “You’re twisting my words. I just wanted them close. Vanity hated New York, she basically stayed for Clementine.”

Crystal shakes her head, “Are you assuming she hated it because she told me she loved it there.”

I chuckle l, “Loved it? Of course she loved it! She was nose deep in fucking coke when I got there.”

“And that’s a problem she’s been working on has she not?”

I sigh, “Yeah, yeah. And I’m proud of her. I know it’s not easy. But I’m not like my parents alright? I’m not just leaving Arianna high and dry nor am I leaving her alone in a run down fucking house okay?”

Crystal looks at me, her head slightly turning to the side, “If you know that, then why are you so worried about messing up? You sound like such a great dad Nikki, from what Vanity tells me. That little girl is lucky to have you.”

I exhale deeply as I nod a bit and lean back against the chair, “Because something always happens…”

“If you spend all your time waiting for bad things to happen you’ll miss out on everything life has for you. Can you give me an example of something happening?”

“I don’t know…I could relapse, Vanity could relapse. We could break up, she could fall in love with someone else and leave me…” I mumble the last part “..and I don’t want her to leave me.”

“You both work hard on your sobriety right? Then what is the worry?” Crystal looks at me, taking off her glasses as she leans forward a bit, “I think you need to spend less time worrying about her being with someone else and only worry about her being with you. Like I said earlier Nikki, we can spend all day talking about the what if’s but it doesn’t help anything or anybody in the long run.”

I frown a bit, “I guess you’re right…it doesn’t do me any good, just drives my anxiety up the wall.”

She smiles a bit, “See…I knew I could get through to you. Is there anything else you want to discuss? You said the dates you’re going on aren’t fulfilling?”

I nod, “Yeah they aren’t. I’d rather be at home with the girls.”

“So…now I’m gonna assume you and Vanity are going to sit down and talk? If this is how you’re feeling, plus with how she feels..”

“I want this to work with her. I need it to work. I can’t picture myself with anyone but her. I hated my ex wife because she wasn’t Van. I just forced myself to pretend that I tolerated her, let alone love her.”

“Then I think you two need to sit down and discuss what you both want from each other and what it will take to make it work. You can’t always blame your issues on your childhood, just like she can’t blame everything on her temper and how she reacts to stressful situations.”

I laugh under my breath and grin “Yeah, she does get mad at the slightest thing.”

She cracks a smile and nods, “That she does. But just like you, Vanity also needs the control. I think you two need to find a solid ground and share it evenly, 50/50. Not 25/75 or 60/40. But right down the middle.”

“And what if we can’t?”

“Nikki.” I sigh and let my shoulders fall back, “As long as you two actually talk about your problems instead of holding onto the anger and grudges. I think both of you also need to learn how to let certain things go.”

“Like the cheating?” I look at her, “She throws that in my face any chance she gets. I just don’t know how many times I can say sorry for it.”

Crystal nods, “I understand Nikki, I do. But put yourself in Vanity’s shoes okay? It’s a traumatic situation for anyone. Just think if the tables were turned. How would you feel? How would you’ve reacted? I believe what bothers her is the principal of it, if you being with someone else. She didn’t want to see it, just like mentioned earlier, you don’t want to see her with another man.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll work on being understanding and sharing control. I need to be home more, hopefully after this album I can take a break for a while and we can get to know each other again.”

“It’s not a bad thing to get to know one another again, you aren’t kids anymore.”

*Vanity’s POV*

“It’s okay Ari! Just brush it off and keep going!” I yell, cupping my hands around my mouth as I sit back down on the folding chair. I wince when I see Arianna trip over the soccer ball again and get a mouth full of dirt, “You’re doing great, sweetie!” I give her a smile when she looks over, glaring as she brushes the dirt off her knees.

“Come on Van, she can barely kick the ball without eating shit. Maybe soccer isn’t for her.” Nikki states, flicking a peanut shell at me. I glance down, seeing him laying on his side on the blanket, “We could try gymnastics. Or cheerleading.” He points in the direction of coaches surrounding a little league team.

I sigh as I slump back in the chair, groaning when Arianna falls again, “It’s only the first day of practice, Nikki. She’ll get the hang of it.”

“Or she’ll get kicked off the team.” Nikki laughs before sitting up and leaning against my leg, “However, it is pretty entertaining to watch.”

I roll my eyes and tap the back of his head, “She has to start somewhere, she can’t just be great over night. I know it took you some time to get good at bass playing.” I smirk a bit as he tilts his head back to look at me.

“Don’t go there. She clearly has no coordination at all and she’s kicking way to hard at the ball and that’s why she keeps falling.” He shakes his head when Arianna kicks the ball and hits another kid in the gut, “See? And she’s being a ball hog.”

“A ball hog? Maybe you need to coach this team instead, Sixx.”

“Well I do look good in stripes.” He laughs but it quickly stops when his phone starts ringing. I watch him dig it out of his pocket as he shakes his head and shoves it back in his jeans.

“If it’s a work call then take it.”

“No, no it’s fine. It’s just Donna, she can wait till later.” He tells me, glancing in my direction as we look at each other for a moment. I watch as he scratches the back of his neck before he looks back at the field, mumbling something under his breath.

I chuckle to myself when his phone starts ringing once more, he digs out of his pocket again before shoving it away, “I’m sure you wouldn’t want her upset with you since you’re ignoring her calls. It’s okay Nikki, you aren’t missing much, it’s just practice.” I explain to him as I see his back raise with a deep inhalation of a breath before he exhales.

“No. This is important, unlike making plans for another expensive restaurant or some stupid high end club.” Nikki spews out, I can hear the annoyed tone.

I clear my throat a bit, “Is everything okay with you..and her?” He side eyes me from the corner of his black shades as I see the corner of his mouth pull up a bit.

“Just...she’s...she’s just making it complicated. She’s asking for too much. Always wants to talk on the phone or hang out or meet up for coffee. She doesn’t grasp the idea of space. Donna wants to be a girlfriend and she’s not girlfriend material, at least not for me.” Nikki leans back on his hands, his legs stretched out on the blue and black flannel.

“Girlfriend material?” I question him as he turns his head to look at me.

“Yeah? You know...girlfriend material? She’s a great women but she couldn’t handle being with a rockstar. Grew up catholic and has all these beliefs that just make me want to gag. She’s hot but she can barely talk about anything other than the modeling and acting. I like someone that can at least tell me what they’re thinking at any given moment.” I feel him nudge my leg as he rests a dandelion on my knee, “I don’t know...it’s just fizzling out.”

I fumble with the yellow flower between my fingers as Nikki cheers for Arianna. My eyebrows pull together in confusion. He was just spending this whole past week with her so I wonder what could have changed. I was still thinking about everything Dr. Peterson had told me last week, I was nitpicking the pros and cons of the situation. Nikki had apologized the next day after our fight like always and then that turned into me being under him...like always. And then it was back to ignoring the problem.

“Hey Nik? Can we talk-“

“Mom! Mom! Did you see how good I’m doing?!”Arianna runs to me, exuberant as always before she’s taking the juice box Nikki hands to her.

“Of course baby! Daddy and I are so happy you’re enjoying it.” I smile at her, smoothing her hair back and wiping some dirt off the side of her cheek, “Just try to be careful okay? And let some of the other kids get the ball.”

She nods feverishly, “But coach Taylor said I’m doing a really good job!”

“And you are princess, but it’s a team sport. So you gotta let the others play with the ball too.” Nikki tells her as he ties the laces on her cleats and tucks them into her shoe, “Sixx’s always play as a team babe.”

“But Blackwoods know how to get the job done themselves.” I wink at her as she giggles and hands me her juice box, “Go finish and then we’ll grab some dinner and maybe ice cream.” Arianna nods before she gives me and Nikki a hug and runs off to the field again.

“So...how are you and Jon?” Nikki questions, almost uncomfortably as he glances at me for a split second.

I shrug, “He’s been busy with studio stuff so

I haven’t really talked to him that much. He calls every few days or so just to see how I’m doing.”

Nikki nods as he leans back on his elbows, “Oh…well that’s good at least…”

“Yeah, I guess?” I chuckle a bit and shake my head, “It’s not like you really care.” 

“Yes I do..” I glance when Nikki mumbles, picking blades of grass and flicking them away. I chuckle at his words and shake my head, my eyes going back to soccer practice.

“Yeah, okay Nikki.”

“I’m gonna go get a drink at the concession stand.” He mutters quietly, getting up as his bangs fall over his eyes. I glance at him as he shakes his head and runs his hands through his hair as he walks across the field. I look down, noticing the unopened bottle of Coca Cola from earlier.

*A few days later*

I took a deep breath in and exhaled as I paced nervously outside of Nikki’s office door. Why was talking about how we felt so scary for us? My heart was racing as I hear the light hum of bass strings being pulled. Nikki had came home from having lunch with Donna an hour ago and slammed every single door he went through, so I wasn’t sure what had happened. I said hi to him but he brushed me off and went straight up the stairs.

I crack my knuckles as I try to find the courage inside of me to knock on the door. I just wanted to talk and I figured with Arianna being at school still, it would be the best time to do so. Ya know, in case of it getting ugly.

My lips puff up as I exhale deeply, glancing at anarchy as she’s sprawled out on the floor watching me, “Wish me luck.” I knock on the mahogany door, not hearing any response to come in. I wait a second before reaching for the doorknob and slowly cracking it open, seeing him hunched over in the usual position when he plays his bass with headphones on. I watch him for a moment as he reaches for his journal and writes something down. He notices me through the reflection on the blank computer screen.

Nikki turns around in his chair as he takes off the headphones and smiles “Hey sorry. I just had an idea and I wanted to play it while I had it.”

“No, no it’s okay. I get it. I uh just wanted to talk but you’re busy so we can just talk later.” I stay by the door, gripping the handle as I swallow the lump in my throat.

Nikki stares at me for a moment “No, come sit.” He motions to the futon, “What’s going on?” He sounds concerned as he rolls his chair closer.

“Okay..” I mumble as I sit criss cross on the cushion as I hold the pillow in my lap, “I went and talked to our therapist the other day to get some things off my chest and now I want to talk to you about them.” I take a breath as I look at him, he looks as worried as I feel, “I-I just feel like we aren’t getting anywhere. That this-“ I motion between us “..isn’t going anywhere.”

“You think that?” I notice the slight frown playing on his lips “I took the advice the therapist gave, Van. I didn’t want too….is this about me locking you out? If it is I’m sorry, I was just messing around.”

“Yes, I think and feel that. Like we’re just not letting go and we’re trying to stay together for the sake of Arianna. No, no it’s not because you locked me out. I’ve been feeling like this for a while now..”

“Is that what you want? For this to be over?” Nikki stares at me as he gnaws on his bottom lip, “Are you breaking up with me?” It’s faint but I hear it and it makes my heart heavy.

“I-I I don’t know..”

“My dates with Donna haven’t been that fun, not like how they are with you.”

I smile a bit before it fades, “I just feel like it’s me that’s trying to save our relationship, or what little is left to save. I’m just confused Nikki.”

“What’s there to be confused about Van? You either want to be with me or you don’t.” I stare at him, I wish it was as simple as that but it’s not. 

“Do you wanna be with me?” I ask him as he chuckles a bit and rolls closer to me.

“Vanity, of course I want to be with you. You should already know the answer to that. It’s always going to be you every time.” I look away at the painting on the wall as he touches my knees, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth.

“I just feel like our relationship is one sided now. I told you from the start I didn’t want to do this, seeing other people. I vocalized how much I was against it and you still wanted to do it anyways.”

Nikki nods as he lets out a deep breath “I know, I know. I should have listened to what you were saying. It put an even bigger strain on our relationship. I broke things off with Donna today. She was just getting on my nerves. I was only going out with her because I saw how much fun you were having with Jon and how happy you looked. It made me jealous because the whole time I was miserable.”

“You didn’t seem like it..I don’t want to break up. I just wish it wasn’t so hard all the time. We aren’t kids anymore, it feels like how it did 10 years ago and I feel like it shouldn’t be. It should be easy for us by now. Do you think other couples have it this hard?”

Nikki chuckles as he gets off the chair and sits down next to me, “No baby, I don’t. Because not everyone is as complicated as you and me. What do you want from me Van? You want me to actually work on us instead of finding excuses not to?” I glance at him as he smiles at me.

“But that makes me feel like a bitch when you say it like that. I feel selfish. Do you want this?”

“Vanity, you may be a temperamental brat and a pain in my ass sometimes, but you aren’t selfish. You’re far from it.” He reaches for my hand as he brings it up to his lips “I want this. I want you and only you. We shouldn’t be doing this because of Arianna, we should be doing this because we love one another and cause we want this to work. I do love you Vanity.”

“I know you do and I love you too.” I feel him kiss my knuckles again as he’s gently pulling me closer and into his lap. I feel him wrap his arms around me as he lays his head against my shoulder. I sigh as I lay my cheek atop of his head and let my nails run over his neck and back.

“I’m sorry for making you feel this way. Like we weren’t gonna have a chance. I never wanted to do that.” He tells me as I nod and kiss his temple.

“I know you didn’t do it on purpose, it’s okay. I just worry and overthink sometimes because you’re you. You’re Nikki Sixx. You could literally have anyone you want and I could be so easily replaced at any moment. It just scares me.”

Nikki looks up at me and laughs, “You? Oh come on you’re joking. Doll I love you just the way you are. Sure, models and playboys are hot but they couldn’t even touch you. They’re not the ones running out of the house applying make up and dragging a kid behind them because they’re running late. Or throwing water on dinner because they forgot they were even cooking. They don’t have eyes that remind me of the ocean when the sun shines. They don’t have soft lips for me to kiss, even when my breath is so fucking rancid in the morning.”

“Hey I haven’t set dinner on fire in a few months alright?” I laugh a bit as I lean forward to give him a kiss, “Thank you for saying that.”

Nikki licks his lips as he leans back against the couch to look at me, “Plus who else on this planet is able to make me cry? Besides Arianna, she’s just harsh.”

“Yeah she has been pretty mean to you lately hasn’t she?” I chuckle as I move pieces of hair back and out of his face.

“Yeah all because I wouldn’t let her crawl into the that claw machine at the arcade a few weeks ago. You know she put her blue goo in my boots? That’s not something I ever want to feel again.” He shudders as he looks at me and smiles “I’ve also been trying to meditate and write my feelings out instead of keeping them inside.”

“Oh! So that’s why you’ve been sitting at the pool every morning? I thought you were just having a mid life crisis or something.” I grin and laugh when he pinched my hip.

“Hey just because I’m getting closer to 40 doesn’t mean shit.”

“Kinda does a little bit, Nikki.” I lean forward and squint “is that….is that a grey hair?” I tease him as I pretend to pluck it out of his hair.

“Oh shut the hell up. You have them too probably.” He rolls his eyes as he pretends to pout.

“Oh no no baby. Not on this head of hair, you won’t find a single thing.”

Nikki leans forward as he gives me a quick and simple kiss, “Well whenever it happens, I’ll still love you when you’re old and grey.”

#motley crue #nikki sixx #the dirt #the dirt book #the dirt movie #motley crue fanfic #nikki sixx fanfic #the dirt fanfic #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfiction #the dirt fanfiction #1990s #glam metal #hair metal #1980s #fanfiction #love and leather #crue #douglas booth!nikki sixx #stories #writing #my idea #my story #ff #lauren jauregui

[yunoteru4ever]

Do you think MIrai Nikki will have the staying power of some high profile anime in the community? Why or why not? Thanks so much.

You really got me thinking about this for a while.

So on the one hand, it's had staying power for a long time - longer than most manga/anime of its duration and age. When MyAnimeList rated the most popular anime of the decade at the end of 2019, Mirai Nikki made it to #4 - even after all those years. Evidently, Mirai NIkki is still considered a common "starter/early" anime for many people new to the medium, and the characters - namely Akise and especially Yuno - are iconic in the anime community. And, for better or worse, there are lot of outspoken haters of the series. You've probably noticed that damn near every video reviewing it on YouTube is about why the video's creator thinks it sucks - and the vast majority of those videos were published many years after it aired! So that's... y'know, another form of "staying power," albeit maybe not one we should be pursuing. :P But the point here is: The anime and manga are over a decade old, yet they continue to garner attention. That's great, and a very promising sign!

But it's definitely fading from attention with time. And ultimately... look; it's a 2-cour anime that ran in a single unbroken string. Any time you see single-cour or 2-cour anime that make a single run and then are done, they rarely have the impact of the high-profile shows that go on for season after season. When you look back at blogs and reviews from 2011-2012, it's clear it garnered a lot of attention while it was running, but we're more than a decade away from that now. It's only natural that it's fading from public consciousness now. A single-run anime that retains its prestige (like "Evangelion" or "Cowboy Bebop") only comes along once in a blue moon these days.

So I think Mirai NIkki will still have staying power for a decent while to come. Maybe even another 10 years! Other than its charmingly outdated flip phones, the anime hasn't really aged much in terms of its style/presentation/story. The manga is still a multimillion-seller that continues to be in active print across Europe and Asia. There's a good damn reason why, when Kadokawa is trying to brag about the best stuff in its back manga catalog or attempting to help launch a new anime streaming service, they're consistently out there pushing Mirai Nikki as one of the top highlights. It's well known to anime fans AND it's a good gateway drug for newbies. And for those reasons, people will still be trying it based on its legacy and then taking time to share their thoughts online for a while yet.

But... especially outside of Japan, I feel like it's eventually going to fade into something only older anime fans remember and newer anime fans consider "too old" to be worth trying. The manga will probably remain a big name for some time yet (in Europe especially), but hell - look at North America, the ONLY region where it was never fully printed and isn't currently available. It's not exactly a manga people talk about it over here, is it?

By the time it's 2035 or so, I wager that the only thing most people will know about Mirai Nikki is that it's where Yuno - the infamous "Yandere Queen" who seems to have had an outsized impact all her own - comes from. The younger incoming readers and viewers won't know necessarily what it's actually about, but they'll know the reputation of the lead girl. That's the most likely lasting impact.

That is, unless someone sees fit to continue licensing new merch or remaking the whole show ala Fruits Basket or something. (Doubtful.)

#asks #anon #mirai nikki #future diary #the future diary #myanimelist #anime

[miceandmonsters]

Male Orc x Female Character

FWB to Friends to Lovers; nerd/jock; multi-chapter

Sometimes the first is not the worst, not even a little bit. ; 2.2k

Part 1 

Part 2

If the digital clock on the bank was accurate, Ruban was in deep shit. Admittedly, he didn’t know Nikki particularly well outside of class. But someone who graduated with a 4.3 GPA didn’t seem like the kind of person who tolerated lateness in anyone, and especially not in good-looking athletes who semi-seduced her into tutoring them. ...Not that there were many out there with enough balls– or perhaps stupidity– to try that particular move.

Ruban tore into the parking lot of her apartment complex, killing the engine on his motorcycle, and taking the stairs three at a time up to the third floor. It was a rundown complex, tired and aged, but always full up with how close it was to campus. 

He was running so fast that he nearly sprinted right past her unit, till he caught himself and knocked twice on the door. The momentary pause gave him a chance to catch his breath before the door opened. Yeah, as expected, Nikki didn’t look too happy.

“I know I’m late, but I have a good reason,” Ruban said quickly. She just lifted an eyebrow in reply. “Practice ran long, and I figured you didn’t want me smelling like… anyway, I’m clean and I’m here and I’m sorry.”

Her face softened, and she stepped back to let him in. “Just text me if you need to reschedule next time.”

“I will remember that. I promise.”

The apartment was tiny, but looked like a catalogue showroom. There was a cleanly crisp scented candle burning on the coffee table, a fluffy blanket folded neatly over the couch arm. The books on the shelves were alphabetized. Did she always live like this? ...Knowing Nikki Williams, yes. Yes, she did.

“I figured that we could work in here,” she said, meandering to the kitchen attached to the living space. “Table’s better than a couch.”

He nodded. “Usually.” Dropping his backpack next to a chair, he looked down at her. “Should we… get started?”

“Might as well.”

“Cool.” Enthusiastically, he caught her chin with his fingers and dipped down to kiss her--

But she made a surprised noise and pulled back, eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

His eyebrows flickered together. “We already talked about this? You know, the… arrangement?” Great, now he sounded like someone out of those soaps his great aunt watched.

“Yes, but…” She glanced around as if someone could be hiding in her postage stamp of a kitchen. “I didn’t think you were actually serious.”

“Oh, I’m always serious,” he joked, a grin teasing his lips. It dimmed when a new idea crossed his mind. “Do you want this?”

“Do you want this?” she asked back.

Ohh. He paused and actually gave it a few seconds of thought. Eventually, he decided that there was something deeply hot about seeing a woman like Nikki flustered and on the verge of blushing like she was right then. “Yeah, definitely.”

The blush actually spread across her cheeks now. Cute. “Okay,” she breathed. She nodded once and squared up her shoulders, a confident and straight-forward look in her eye. Determination was all nice and good, but he really wanted to see how flustered he could make her. How far down did that blush really go?

So instead of going for that kiss she was obviously angling her head for, his hands drifted to her hips. She was thrown slightly off rhythm and let him guide her backwards, step by step, till she was leaning against the kitchen counter. 

“Counter’s better than a table,” he said, grinning slightly again.

“Usually,” she replied, picking up on his joke, but her words still wobbling slightly.

There was something in the anticipation, the fact that they both knew what was about to happen, that was nearly intoxicating. He’d barely touched her and already he could see her pupils expand to consume the warm brown of her eyes.

She was wearing a light blue dress with a skirt that fluttered about her thighs. He caught the hem between his fingers, just toying with it slightly. “This dress is nice…” 

“Thanks,” she whispered back. 

He held her gaze as he slowly pulled the hem up, brushing fingertips over her thigh. She inhaled as he brushed over the soft lace of her underwear and then slid his hand between her legs. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back as he stroked her through the thin fabric, hips slightly moving to match his rhythm. He was wrong before. This, being able to watch her slow surrender, was intoxicating. Keeping the same pace, he trailed up over her underwear and then slipped underneath. Her skin was so soft. She whimpered as one of his fingers dipped between her folds--she was already wet. “Damn Nikki,” he breathed, feeling a little affected himself.

“Nicole. I…” Her eyes opened and locked with his. “I go by Nicole now–why am I saying this when you have your finger practically inside me?”

He laughed softly, enjoying the way she gripped his arm as he found her clit. “Too much?” he asked before he stroked directly again. But she quickly shook her head. “So, why the change, Nicole?” he asked, conversationally, as he circled her.

“I, uh… Ah… I thought it sounded… more… more mature,” she answered, her voice gone breathy.

“That sounds about right. Suppose Dr. Nicole is more respectable than Dr. Nikki. Sounds like a daytime television host.” He dipped his finger back to her growing wet before returning to her clit.

“Ye–yeah… that’s…” She shuddered and gripped both of his arms now. “Fuck–that’s the idea.”

“So you are going to go for your doctorate?”

“S-someda–” She blinked and seemed to realize what had just been happening. “Why are you asking me this right now?”

“Because it’s fun watching you try to concentrate while I finger you.” Her response was cut off into a groan as he slid one finger inside her. Fuck, she was going to feel amazing. But then he withdrew, making her clench around him and whine. “Turn around,” he said in a low, gravelly voice. Her eyes went wide, but she did as she was told. He shrugged off his leather jacket and then ran his palms over her shoulders, down her arms. “Hands on the counter, yeah, like that. You still want it?” he asked, mostly just to hear her ask for it again.

“Yes,” she groaned, head leaning back against his shoulder. Now, finally, he kissed her, deep and greedy, as his hand returned to her center. He started with just one finger, rocking and stroking, then added a second to grasp and press against her front wall, grinding his palm against her clit. Her knees quickly started wobbling so he wrapped his free arm around her, holding her up and against him. Every wordless groan or gritted swear fell from her lips shot straight down to his cock–he was really starting to regret the choice to wear jeans to this meeting. 

However, it wasn’t very long before she found a handhold at his neck and melted in his arms. No doubt he now sported four little half-moon indents, but he really didn’t mind at all. As he’d hoped, she was deeply sexy now that she was flushed and panting.

“Should… shouldn’t we study first?” was her first question when she’d put herself back together enough to ask.

He chuckled, tracing his tusk along her shoulder. “I’ve always been a dessert first sort of orc. And I’m not sure how well I can concentrate now.” To prove his point, he pressed his bulge against her ass, making her moan and shudder. Excellent. He kissed up her neck, nipping her ear lobe before asking, “Want some more?”

“Yes, please.”

He scooped her off her feet and sat her on the counter. She had a delighted little smile on her face as he reached under her skirt to pull off her underwear and toss them aside. “Don’t think you’ll be needing those.”

“Definitely not–oh.” Her whole core clenched and shuddered as he cupped her center while brushing his lips along her jaw. He’d intended to just tease her, but she grabbed his head and pulled him in for a demanding kiss that somehow just made him harder than he was before. 

It took a little fumbling to find the buttons on the front of her dress without stopping the kiss, but he was successful enough to expose her bra. It was the same ivory lace as her underwear. Ah, so she hadn’t actually thought he wasn’t serious… or she hadn’t wanted to run the risk of her being unready if he was serious, which sounded more like her. 

He stepped back to just look at her, breathless and the least put-together he’d ever seen her. “Damn Nikki–shit, Nicole. I’ll be better at that when I don’t have a hard-on.”

“It’s okay.” Still holding his gaze, she ran her hands over her breasts, squeezing slightly. Damn Nicole. Condom, he needed a condom now. He stepped away and snagged one from his backpack. She looked a little concerned when he turned back around and held up his trophy.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere, baby,” he promised, unzipping his pants finally. Her eyes on him could probably melt steel, which only made him take his time. However, he couldn’t stop his groan of relief as he freed his cock and then stroked himself a few times, thoroughly enjoying watching her squirm.

“Would you just get over here and fuck me already?” she demanded, looking about two seconds from tackling him to the ground. 

Grinning, he opened the condom with his teeth and rolled it on as he sauntered back towards her. She was so eager, but he really wanted to enjoy the anticipation. Rarely was a first time this good. So he just ran his cock between her folds, teasing her clit as she whimpered and mewled.

“For fuck’s sake–” she said right before she grabbed him by the ass and pulled him close enough for him to partially slip inside. They both moaned, and it was a moment before he could see straight. She was every bit as amazing as he’d thought she’d be.

“Fuck, Nic– A little warning might be–” He stopped as she started rocking her hips against him. Oh, he could watch her literally fuck herself with his cock all night–but she was going to leave him in the dust if he didn’t get moving. 

He pulled her to the edge of the counter and matched her rhythm, deep and thorough. It wasn’t artful, but damn if it wasn’t satisfying. He left long kisses down her neck, trailing down to run his tongue over her pert nipples under the lace of her bra. Carefully, he tilted the angle of his hips and was rewarded with a loud, “There!” from Nicole. He sped up, desperately wanting to see her fall apart again.

Her grip on his upper arms tightened again, eight more half-moons, the only warning he got before she shattered. A stuttered version of his name came from her lips, right before he pulled her tight to him and gave her a bruising kiss. Her pulsing around him nearly finished him off, he just– Chasing her to the edge, he picked her up with ease, bouncing her on his cock for the last few thrusts and following her over. The world whited out as he held her tightly, jerking with each wave. 

A minute– maybe, he honestly wasn’t exactly sure– later, he carefully put her back on the counter. The kitchen was filled with just the sounds of their panting as they both tried to catch their breath. He tossed the condom in the trash and zipped back up his jeans. Damn, he’d just had time-alteringly good sex with Nikki Williams. High school Ruban would have said that he was a dirty liar. Hell, three days ago Ruban would have said he was a dirty liar. But there she was, leaning back against her cabinets, a little bit sweaty, and looking like she’d just seen a god. 

She swallowed then looked over at him and asked, “Are you up to graphing polynomials? Or have you finished that unit already?”

His smug grin died. “I… you were thinking about polynomials while we were having sex?”

She nibbled on the corner of her thumbnail. “No. Just we’re done and it’s the next thing,” she answered, obviously half in thought. Then she looked his way and suddenly seemed to catch up to the conversation they were actually having. “I wasn’t--I mean, this was good. Really, really good. I promise. You were--” She made an ok sign, then quickly amended it to a thumbs up, before dropping her head in her hand. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

He shrugged a shoulder and batted a hand against her knee. “Hey, it’s okay… your brain just… doesn’t ever stop, huh?”

She lifted her head to shake it. “No.”

“Doesn’t that make it hard to like… chill?”

“Exceedingly.”

Suddenly, everything he knew about her made a lot more sense. “That explains a lot, actually. But yeah, we’re on polynomials now.”

A blinding smile spread across her face. “Great, I’m good at those. Let me go grab my graphing calculator.” Nicole hopped off the counter and dashed out of the kitchen. 

Ruban smiled as he realized she’d left her underwear behind.

Masterlist

Part 3 - Coming soon!

#monster boyfriend #orc boyfriend #monster lover #exophilia #orc #lemon #fwb to lovers #study buddy

[kiraxcute]

Remember when Ronda called wrestling fake?

Paige: Back to back neck injuries that could have killed her, retired at the age of 25 not long after she made her in-ring return

Edge: Neck injury that had started to cause him to lose feeling in his hands, retired after his then final Wrestlemania. Returned 11 years after 

Nikki Bella: Hurt her neck and had a cist in her brain 

Tyson Kidd: Retired from a spinal injury that was stupid close to KILLING him

Tommaso Ciampa: Back to back to back injuries of all kind, including a neck injury that kept him out for a few months, and effectively cutting his career in half

Corey Graves: Multiple concussions sustained that has kept him from an in-ring return possibly forever. 

Seth Rollins: ACL tear that kept him out of nearly all of 2016, and is at risk of getting reinjured and damn near disabled him

Finn Balor: Dislocated his shoulder and was out from Summerslam 2016 to the Raw after mania 33

Alexa Bliss: Suffered back to back concussions and rarely performed in the ring during 2019.

Joaquin Wilde: This hurts because I love Joaquin so much but I feel like I need to talk about it. Joaquin almost died from internal bleeding while wrestling in Mexico. He's said he started having panic attacks after every match because he was scared he'd hurt himself further. That doesn't include him tearing his LCL, breaking his wrist, or having a TUMOR removed.

I can go on forever. These people put their lives and bodies at risk every single fucking day and Ronda trashed wrestling. I'm glad she's gone

[nikki-fucking-sixx]

Always (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

“Honey, what’s the plan for dinner?” You turned your head to see your husband on the couch smiling at you. You picked your infant daughter, Sonja, up from her playpen and held her at your hip as you walked over to your husband’s side at the couch.

“Hmmm,” You were not particularly picky, “Let’s order in. This little lady has been running me ragged all day,” You say, smiling at your beautiful little girl. She smiled back at you before giving your hair a tiny tug. You put Sonja on your lap before resting your head on his shoulder, feeling exhausted from motherly duties. You looked over at the clock to see it was only 5:00. God, what the fuck has happened to you? Before you met Chris, you were sneaking backstage at concerts to do cocaine with rockstars. Now, your life was diapers and Disney. You didn’t mind it, you loved your little girl more than anything in the world. And Chris, he was the perfect husband and you loved him with all your heart, but your life felt emptier than it used to be. 

“Chris, would you mind watching Sonja for a second? I’m going to take a quick nap.” He nodded and you handed her off to him. You dragged your tired body off the couch and wandered up the stairs to your bedroom and collapsed. Parenthood was exhausting. You were up at all hours of the night caring for Sonja, changing her, burping her, feeding her, it never seemed to stop. You rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling. You missed your old life sometimes. 

Well, there was one person you missed specifically. You met Nikki when you were 19 while backstage at a Motley Crue concert in 1981. You two spent the whole night together talking, drinking, fucking, laughing and actually finding out who this dark mysterious man was. When you woke up the next morning you snuck out the window. You did not want to, but a man like Nikki would never want to see you again. After a week, he found you. You remember laughing as he walked into the restaurant you worked at, asking you out on a date. You were baffled to say the least, but you obviously said yes. 

The ten months you two spent together were some of the wildest times in your life. You partied almost every night of the week as the rock and roll lifestyle encapsulated you. You never slept but when you did it was beside him. The lows were low with Nikki. The fights were heated and objects were thrown. But, the highs were so damn high. You had never felt more loved than you did when he held you in his arms and told you how beautiful you were.

But, good things never last forever. When you saw him kissing that girl, you knew it was over. There was no reason for you to be treated that way, and he knew that too. You were gone the next morning and you never saw him again. A three months later you met Chris and a year later you were married. 

It has been five years since you last saw Nikki but you still thought about him every so often. How he was, who he was with, what life would have been like with him. You took a deep breath and began to close your eyes, letting your mind wander away from the one that got away. Then the phone rang. You sighed and rolled over.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe. Long-time no see.” You immediately recognized the voice of your best friend Diana. 

“Yeah it’s been a second. How are you?” You have gotten very good at small talk in recent years.

“I was actually calling to see if you wanted to come out with me tonight.” You couldn’t help but laugh. It was 5:30 on a Saturday, prime family time. 

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” She let out an annoyed huff.

“C’mon (Y/N), you’re 25! This is the age where you’re still allowed to have fun.” 

“I have a baby Diana, I gotta stay in and look after her.” 

“Have Chris take on some responsibility! That’s part of this whole marriage thing, right?” You rolled your eyes. She really was far away from the whole committed relationship thing. 

“I just really think that I should-” 

“It’s a Motley Crue concert and I have an extra ticket. I think you should go.” There was a pause. Your mind was going one million miles per hour but your lips could not move, but there was so much you wanted to say. 

“Di… we both know that that’s a bad idea.” 

“It’s not like you’re going to actually do anything. We’ll just go to the concert and then go home.” She was right. You didn’t have to speak to him or any of them. You could just watch the concert, unwind a bit. It really did sound like an attractive idea.

“Let me call you back, ok?” 

“Alright, just don’t pussy out on me.” You hung up the phone before making your way downstairs to see Chris bouncing Sonja on his lap. She was smiling and laughing as he sang the words to a Beatles song to her. You could not help but stare and feel a warm sense of joy in your stomach. Chris looked up at you and smiled.

“Who was that on the phone?” 

“It was Diana, she asked me if I wanted to go out tonight.” The feeling of pure happiness from before started to disappear as nerves settled in. “But obviously that’s crazy because I have to stay in with Sonja.” Chris shrugged.

“You stay in all day with her while I’m at work,” He blew a raspberry at her causing Sonja to give a big toothless grin. “I could use some baby time.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Go out and have some fun.” You leaned in and gave him a light kiss, smiling into it. 

“You’re the best.” He gave a small laugh.

“ And I love you too.” You got up and began getting ready, excited for what the night had in store.

Diana picked you up at 9:00 outside your house. Picking something to wear that night was next to impossible. You were a mom now, you couldn’t wear those low cut tops you used to wear. You decided on boots, jeans and a somewhat modest crop top. When you walked out Diana gave a whistle.

“Now that’s a hot Momma!” You smiled as you compared your outfit to hers. She had on heels, jeans and a shirt that left nothing to the imagination. You wished you could be in something like that. You hopped in beside her.

“Ready to go?” 

“Hell yeah! Let’s paint the town red.” Diana yelled as she sped off. Once you both got inside the venue all you could pay attention to was the vast amount of people. There seemed to be wall to wall people. You had no idea how you would fit into this crowd, literally and metaphorically. 

But, once the music blasted, you felt everything around you melt away. You were that 19 year old all over again yelling for longer guitar solos and louder vocals. The band itself seemed like a blur. It wasn’t until your vision focused that you saw him. 

Nikki. 

He was just as you remembered. His hair was dark and big; his eyes held mysteries that you only knew the beginning of; his intensity never seemed to stay from the bass. And he was still a fucking mess, just as you liked. 

You could not help but become very aware of what you were wearing. You were probably the most covered up woman in that whole venue. Everywhere you looked you saw skin and cleavage and here you were dressed like, well, a mom. He did not even seem to notice you as his eyes went from girl to girl, looking for the sexiest thing in the audience. That was Nikki though, what did you expect? 

Diana seemed to notice your sudden awkwardness, turning to you and giving you a concerned look. You shook your head and smiled.

“I’m fine, just feeling a little old.” She rolled her eyes at you.

“Then act young.” At that, she pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels from her purse, “Let loose a little.” You grabbed the bottle from her and immediately took a giant swig. God, you missed the taste of dark liquor. The contents of that bottle went very quickly, mostly thanks to you. The buzz was setting in and you could not help but smile and dance like an idiot; however, you still would not let yourself look at Nikki again. It would just make you feel like you did all those years ago. You let your gaze stay on Vince as he ruled the stage. He really did know how to work the crowd, especially when more than half of them wanted to fuck him. You felt your dancing become more sporadic as their set wore on to the point that you felt yourself lose your footing. You hit the ground quickly.

“Shit (Y/N), are you ok?” You got up laughing and nodding.

“Yeah I’m fucking fine!” Once you got your head back up, you let your eyes wander and that’s when they met with his. Even in your drunken state, you could see the shock on his face. He never expected to see you again. After you told him to fuck off, you moved. There was no way he was going to hurt you again. But then, here you two were, in a room filled with thousands of people but only seeing each other. Fuck.

You had to go. This was a bad idea. What were you even thinking? All these thoughts raced through your head as you ran out of the crowd. You had to get out of here. The more you ran through the venue, the drunker you realized you were as you quickly became very lost. You found yourself in a relatively empty hallway filled with music equipment and stagehands. You did not give a shit. Your back hit the stone wall and you began to sob into your hands. You didn’t care that your mascara was running down your cheeks or that you sounded like a dying animal, you felt like absolute shit. So, the tears flowed more than they have in the past five years. You felt like a stupid young girl again. 

You were so hung up in your thoughts that you didn’t seem to hear footsteps coming down the hallway. You definitely did not notice when they stopped in front of you.

“Never thought I’d see you again.” The tears froze. You did not want to look up but your body betrayed you. There he was, looking as handsome as ever. You sniffed, trying to recompose yourself.

“Believe me, this was not my idea.” His face seemed expressionless.

“Then why are you even here?” There was disappointment in his voice. You weren’t sure if it was because of you, the situation or God knows what. 

“I honestly don’t know,” You brushed a hand across your cheek. “God I knew I shouldn’t have come.” You start to turn away but feel a hand grab onto your wrist.

“No,” His voice boomed through the empty hallway, making it feel full, “I’m glad you came.” You didn’t pull away from his touch, instead you turned to him, finally getting the courage to look into his eyes again. Even when his face seemed blank, his eyes always gave him away. 

“Nikki, you haven’t seen me in five years. You don’t even know who I am anymore.” That’s when you noticed him look down at your hand. More specially, at your wedding ring. You did not know what to do. Apologize? Laugh? Cry? You never thought you would have to have this conversation. You could tell he didn’t think so too. His posture stiffened as he took your hand into his, rolling the ring around in his finger.

“I guess I don’t,” He couldn’t keep his eyes off of it, “What’s his name?”

“Chris,” He looked up at you again. Your eyes had not left his face.

“When did this happen?” 

“A few months after you…” Your voice trailed off as your mind was filled with the image of Nikki’s lips on that girl. He could see where your mind was going and let go of your hand. You pulled it close to your chest like a security blanket. You did not know what to say, so your mind went to the first thing that makes you happy every morning. 

“I have a daughter.” Your hand plunged into your purse, pulling out a picture of your beautiful little girl, “Her name is Sonja, she’s six months old.” His hands wrapped around the photograph. His eyes stared at the picture of your baby. He could not seem to look at anything else except your smiling little girl. 

“Why are you showing me this?” He looked back up at you, his eyes now filled with anger.

“I-I just-” 

“Why the fuck are you showing me this?” He screamed, throwing the picture on the ground, “Are you trying to make me jealous of your fucking perfect family? I get it, you have the white picket fence life and some small-dicked corporate husband who doesn’t know how to fuck you. It’s really perfect isn’t it?” You could feel the rage building up in you. 

“Hey, it’s not your place to be jealous.” You wanted to hit him. “You lost that right when you fucked that whore!”

“Oh and now you want to have this argument again,” He stepped closer to you. “I’m a fucking rockstar, (Y/N). How can you expect women to not throw themselves at me?” He was in your face now.

“They don’t want you Nikki! They just want to use you as some story to tell.” He let out a bitter laugh.

“At least those girls are doing something with their lives instead of taking on the role as some bored fucking housewife. Who even are you anymo-” You didn’t want to hear it. Your hand made contact with his cheek. You both froze in shock, unsure of what to do next. 

“Shut the fuck up Nikki.” It came out as a whisper. You wanted to walk away now, but you couldn’t. He took a deep breath before bending down and picking the picture back up. He held it in his hands, grasping it like it was his. He looked back down at your daughter’s face.

“She really is beautiful,” He fidgeted with the edges of the photograph, not letting his eyes leave it, “Just like her mom.” 

“Yeah, she is.” He looked back up at you.

“I really thought that…” He paused, his eyes going to the ground. “You and I would be having one of these one day.” And there he was. The Nikki you always came back to.

“I did too.” His hand reached out and touched yours. Your fingers immediately entangled.

“I loved you so much, (Y/N),” Your eyes met again. “I still do.”

“I think I should go.” You didn’t want to but you had to. For Sonja. 

“I understand, Sonja needs a mom.” You nodded, took your hand back and turned away, ready to walk down that hallway. Before you could take your first step, you felt a pair of familiar hands grasp your waist and turn you around. Then his lips touched yours. The passion that was there all those years ago was still in that kiss. You couldn’t help but let your hand rest on his cheek, just like you used to. Every bone in your body wanted to stay. To run away with this imperfectly perfect man. When his lips left yours, your breath seemed to catch and hold in your throat. His forehead touched yours.

“I’ll always love you, Nikki,” A tear rolled down your cheek, “Always.” His thumb dried it away. 

“Go home, baby.” And that was goodbye. Goodbye from the rockstar life. Goodbye from your youth.

Goodbye from Nikki.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx oneshot #nikki sixx fan fic #nikki sixx fan fiction #motley crue #the dirt 2019 #the dirt #nikki sixx angst #nikki sixx smut #vince neal #vince neil #tommy lee #mick mars #mgk #douglas booth #douglas booth imagine

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Long time no see

Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: You are working at the famous Whisky a Go Go as a bartender. A new band called Mötley Crüe has full shows every night and whenever you see the lead guitarist you can't get out of your head since he seems pretty familiar you just don't know from where.

When you woke up in the afternoon you thought it will be a usual day. You took on your working top, jeans and boots and headed to the bus station. On the bus you were listening to music and were looking out of the window watching all the people going home from work. Your daily routine was quite different cause you worked in a night club. Not that you didn't like it there. Music all night, every night.

You stopped at the entrance of the place and looked up to see which band will perform tonight. Mötley Crüe. Again? Well they play pretty well it's not about that. During every concert you couldn't concentrate on the work, but on the members. That guitarist dude, Mars or whatever he calls himself looked so familiar but you didn't know from where.

A massive amount of rockers flooded through the entrance when the gates were opened. They immediately attacked the bar and was in long queues waiting for you.

"Hey, Jon! You can go and have your break if you want. The concert can start at any moment now, I will handle it." You told your coworker who just nodded smiling and left you there.

The concert was wilder then ever, when you went out to smoke a cigarette you could see the queue which ended so far away you couldn't even see it. The band killed it today, better then ever.

You were cleaning the bar and the cups when someone sat in front of the bar. You turned around to see who it was. That freaking guitarist. He had his sunglasses on and was looking at his hands.

"Hello. What can I get you? Beer or something stronger?" You asked narrowing your eyes.

"Vodka please." You poured a cup and when he looked up to thank you he put his aviators on his nose to see you properly. "(Y/N)?"

"Seven hells! Robert is that you?!" Your eyes widened from the recognition and your mouth dropped. "I haven't see you in ages! What happened to you?"

"It's Mick, now actually. Well, a lot of things." He smiled from ear-to-ear. He was so glad to see you after all this time. You were best friends in high school, although Mick didn't really attend the classes since he was already into music in that time.

"Damn, I didn't even recognized you with this hair." You were laughing and your eyes were focused in him. He has changed a lot since you last met, he has his head dyed and was wearing leather clothes.

"Well, you didn't change a thing." Mick eyed you from head-to-toe and was smirking. "Though you might got taller."

"(Y/N), how many times do I have to tell you that you work here?" Your asshole boss yelled, you turned to him and gave him a fake smile. You started to clean the glasses again but stopped when he got out of sight.

"Well, that was my boss. He is a cool man, as you can see." You hummed and poured another drink for Mick and one for yourself. "Do you want to talk after my shift? It would be good to talk. Or is it a horrible idea? You know what, forget what I have just said. I'm sure you have many more important things to do and people to meet."

"No, no, no. It's a good idea and I would love to but..." Mick looked away searching for the others.

"Looking for your girlfriend?" You asked him hoping you weren't right.

"Nah. Just waiting for these idiots to do some shit. They can be pain in the ass sometime, you know. So (Y/N) if it's not a problem can we talk later? It was really good to see you but I gotta go. See you later." And with that he left you there. He didn't even ask for your number so it was obvious you won't meet again. Not that you were surprised. You just disappointed in him in many ways.

Damn, Mick Mars, what have you done? Did you just froze? Afraid from a girl who knew you more than yourself? Similar thoughts crossed Mick's mind who couldn't do anything with the situation. The only thing he knew that he wanted to meet again.

At that night you cried yourself to sleep. It was a long ago since you cried but Mick ditching you like this hurt like hell. Again. You forgave him after he just left couple of years ago during high school, now he did it again. Maybe the problem was with you. The next day you hardly talked to Jon and to your co-workers just only when needed to. There were no Mötley concert tonight so it was impossible to meet with Mick. When you finished your shift you walked instead of taking the bus. The night was quite chilly so you adjusted your pretty light jacket.

"Hey, baby! Where is the rush?" A guy called after you. You didn't pay attention to him cause you knew that's what these kind of people need so you kept walking on the street. Another guy approached you from the other side. You were trapped. Nice.

"What does a lovely girl do on the street this late in the night? You should be sleeping now, nah?"

"Leave me alone!" You spit.

"Look how wild she is." The guy said laughing to his mate. They were now only steps away. You wanted to shout from the top of lungs for help but you just couldn't. "Hmm you smell good." He sniffed and his face was inches away. You tried to remember every detail about him to know who to arrest. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him away and started to run. Luckily you were wearing your comfortable boots so you could run as fast as you can. Sadly, not fast enough. Those jerks were closer and closer. When you were about to stop and gave up, you heard engines of motorbikes. You continuined running and maybe stop them to help you.

"Not that fast, baby!" Just a few meters from the riders.

"Hey, hey! Please stop!" You shouted but one of your harassers got you and put his hand ony your mouth to shut you up. You tried to move his hand away but his grip was strong. "Okay, your little game ends now." He whispered angrily.

"Let her go, man!" A voice echoed but the man didn't move an inch. "I said let her go, dumbass!" Another man said.

"What did you just say?" He was furious as hell now. You took advantage of it and kicked him in the balls. You ran to the bikers who seemed familiar. The boys from the band. And Mick was standing there beside his bike, gazing you. Suddenly all the anger you felt for Mick disappeared. You ran into his arms crying and clenching on him. He rubbed your back until the drummer and the bassist chased away those jerks. The blondie singer put his jacket when he saw you shaking like a leaf.

"Th..thank you." You sniffed.

"Are you okay (Y/N)?" Mick asked looking down at you. "Do you need to go to the hospital or something?" Mick worried sick seeing you like this.

"You know her, Mick?" The singer looked shocked as well as the others.

"Yes. We...we were friends in high school. Now come (Y/N), we are bringing you home." You couldn't say a word so you just nodded and got on the bike behind Mick. You hold Mick for your dear life during the way. When you arrived home safely you thanked again and was about to enter the house.

"Umm, do you want to come in? I think I should..I should thank that you all saved me." The singer was grinning. "Not in that way, man! I have some beer in the fridge." They hesitated at first but couldn't say no to free beers.

You lived in a cute little house with one bedroom but that was more than enough for you. You let them in the living room and offered the promised booze. You were still shaking as hell so you told them you would take a quick shower. You couldn't believe you let in your house complete strangers (except for Mick) and you even let them alone in your living room. You had a pretty wild night and the amount of alcohol you drank at the Whisky was messing with you. When you got back to the living room, the band was looking at your family photos and was laughing at them. Well, some of them were indeed hilarious.

"Well, thank you for the hospitality (Y/N), but I think we should go. We arranged a meeting at a girls club not far away." The singer declared. "You can come if you want." He winked and looked back at you smirking.

"No, thank you. Also, here is your jacket." You handed him it back and was smiling at him. On the stage they all looked frightening and badass but in their normal being they were quite handsome and kind.

"Bye, (Y/N)."

"Bye Tommy." Nikki just nodded and followed the others. Mick was standing there thinking. He didn't want to leave you there alone, again. He recognised you were still in shock even if you hid it pretty well.

"I think I'm staying with (Y/N). You can go. We will meet in the studio tomorrow."

"Okay, old man. Also, have fun." The singer muttered and left the driveway laughing. Mick went back at the house rolling his eyes and managed to scare the shit out of you.

"Seven hells, Mick." You held your hand on your chest to make sure your heart was still pounding.

"I'm so sorry. I just thought you might don't want to be alone. And after leaving you there last night without saying any word I thought it might be good to have a talk and discuss all these things. But only if it's not a problem. I'm sure you are exhausted and want to go sleep and all." He turned around and opened the door again when you stopped in front of him, blocking the way.

"It's a good idea. I would...I would be glad if you stayed." You murmured looking down at your hands.

You two talked so much during the night you didn't even realized how sleepy you were.

It was almost sunrise when Mick demanded you to go to bed and sleep. You didn't reject at all and fell on the bed immediately, though you weren't able to sleep. You were rolling in the bed so many times it pissed you off so you went to drink water. You offered your coach for Mick for sleeping which he took gladly and was already sleeping. He woke up when he heard noise and was smirking seeing you in only a loose shirt. When you looked at him he closed his eyes back pretending to be sleeping. You drank your water glancing and admiring Mick. His looked so innocent and relaxed, you didn't want to bother him.

"Sleeping problems?" He asked still having his eyes shut.

"Yep." You muttered taking a sip from your water.

"(Y/N)? It might sound weird, but want to sleep like back in the days?" Your lips immediately curved into a smile and rushed to the coach. You helped Mick got up and went to the bedroom. After you got into bed Mick also laid beside you. He placed his arm on your waist and pulled closer to him. You weren't facing him but you could see the smile on his face. The smile which you were in love with since you met him.

∆

tag: @leatherandheels​

#motley crue #80s music #80srock #nikki sixx #rocknroll #vince neil #glam rock #mickmars #tommy lee #mick mars #mick mars imagine #mick mars x reader #motley crue x reader #motley crue imagine

[jaxl-road]

Scar Tissue, chapter 12

Everything is on the table now, and our boys finally get to talk.

Pairings: Slash/Duff, side Steven/Vince, side Axl/Izzy, side Nikki/Tommy

Warnings: Discussed/implied past abuse (non-explicit)

~~~~~~~~~~~

The alley was dark.

A narrow pocket of shadow amongst the bright neons of the Sunset Strip, ignored by the masses which were drawn towards the lights like moths. Muffled music drifted from within brick walls, and the air was hazy with smoke which seemed to curl and part when the door opened, allowing a tall figure to slip into the darkness to hide.

Duff couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as he ducked out of the club and into the side alley, the pulsing music and overlapping voices softening as the door closed behind him. His PCS was almost completely gone, but he still found himself prone to headaches if he lingered too long around all the flashing lights. Setting his bag and his bass down on a relatively clean looking patch of asphalt, he took out his cigarettes and lit one up as he debated his options.

He had made a decent amount of money from work and gigs this week, so he could probably afford a motel for a night or two. Was that the best use of his money though? If he kept couch surfing like he’d been doing he might be able to save more until he had enough for a deposit on an apartment. That was the better option as far as long term goals. Still, he sighed to himself as he exhaled a long stream of smoke, the idea of not being a burden on someone for a few nights was very appealing at the moment. He was so sick of being in the way.

Before he could come to a decision, the club door burst open, the bassist jumping at the loud ‘BANG’ as it hit the wall, his heart rate skyrocketing at the sudden noise.

“There you are!!”

Standing in the doorway was a scrawny young man with wild blonde hair, grinning widely. Duff found himself looking side to side, trying to find whoever the boy could be talking to, but it was just the two of them in the alley and the other blonde practically skipped over to him. For a moment, Duff was mortified- did he know this person? Oh God, he had no idea who this was, had they met and Duff had forgotten? Had Duff been drunk? Should he just act cool and pretend he remembered him or-

“Hi, I’m Steven!” The cheery blonde offered his hand, clearing up part of Duff’s concerns but not alleviating any of his confusion about the situation.

“Oh, um…” he shook his hand hesitantly, “hi?”

“You’re the bass player from the last band, right?” Steven pointed a thumb back towards the club, still smiling, and Duff is head and shoulders above him but he still finds himself wary.

“Uh, yeah. I’m Duff,” he introduces himself belatedly, “I’m not their usual bass player, I was just, y’know, filling in for the night.”

“I figured, I’ve seen you play with a few different groups. Listen, I’m in a band- I’m the drummer!- and we don’t have a bass player right now.”

“Oh!” Understanding dawns on him, “You want me to fill in for you guys?”

“No, I want you to join us!”

That has Duff blinking in surprise, “What, like, as a regular member?”

“Yeah!” Steven gestures excitedly, “I mean, the other guys will have to approve too- our singer can be a real hardass- but I think you rock!” The drummer must notice his hesitance, because he quickly rambles out, “Will you at least come jam with us? You don’t have to commit to anything right away. If nothing else I think it’d be a good time!”

Duff hums in consideration. He did miss being a regular member of a band. The days with 10 Minute Warning felt so far away now, and jumping between bands was getting tiring. And like the other man said, it wasn’t like he was signing a contract or anything. It was just a jam.

“...Yeah, okay,” he finally answered, “Why not?”

Steven cheered, “Awesome! It’ll be great, you’ll see!” He rattled off an address where his band had been rehearsing occasionally, and they agreed on a time to meet in a few days.

As the drummer turned to leave, Duff had a thought and called out to him, “Oh, hey, Steven?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your band called?”

Turning around, Steven grinned widely.

“Guns N’ Roses!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s just starting to get light outside when Slash carefully extracts himself from Duff’s grip, moving slowly and gently, practically holding his breath in an attempt not to wake the tall blonde. Luckily, he doesn’t stir, and Slash is able to slip out of the room. It’s not that he wants to leave Duff- if anything, he feels a stab of guilt for leaving the embrace- but he really had to piss. Also, he was starting to worry that his growling stomach would end up waking the bassist before his movements would, and Duff seemed like he really needed the rest.

Once he finished with the restroom, he wandered into the kitchen. On the way, he noticed a figure sprawled on the couch in the living room. Pausing, he raised a hand in a quiet greeting as Izzy gave him a curt nod. Continuing to the kitchen, he reached into the fridge and grabbed a slice of leftover pizza, not bothering to heat it up or grab a plate. Taking a bite, he glanced back towards the living room. After a moment of mental debate, he left the kitchen.

Izzy was stretched out on the beat up couch, and Slash dropped down across from him, leaning against the opposite arm and casually letting his legs stretch on top of the other guitarist’s. Tilting his head, Izzy gestured at the coffee table where his rig was laying.

“Want some?”

It was a testament to how shitty the past few days had been, because Izzy never shared his stash.

Shrugging, Slash didn’t even try to resist, “Sure. Thanks.”

After a few minutes, once he had finished his pizza and felt the calm of the dope spreading through him, he felt ready to ask, “So. What’d I miss last night?”

“Not much to be honest,” Izzy replied, “I watched Nikki and Tommy get a few hits in, then they dragged him outside and I had to go stop Axl from destroying the dressing room. They seemed pretty damn pleased with themselves when they got back though, so if I had to guess I’d say the bastard is probably just a smear on the sidewalk outside the Whiskey now.”

Slash snorted, “Good.”

"Agreed," Izzy nodded casually.

There was another long silence, Slash opening and closing his mouth several times before finally voicing the question that had been biting him for hours.

“...How long have you known?”

Izzy sighed, leaning his head back against the arm rest to look at the ceiling. “A while,” he admitted flatly. Before Slash could ruminate too much on his answer, he tilted his head to look him in the eye, “Not because he, like, confided in me or anything. Duff didn’t tell any of us, it’s not like he only hid it from you or something.”

“Oh…” Slash feels a little ashamed at the relief he feels at that, but Izzy only shrugs.

“Axl just figured it out. Then he told me because he needed someone to talk to about it. I’m assuming something similar happened with Nikki and Tommy.”

Slash couldn’t help but snort, “God, what a fucked up club I’m apparently a part of. We should make t-shirts.”

“Don’t even fucking joke about that,” Izzy pointed his cigarrette at him accusingly, “If Tommy hears you say that shit he’ll actually make t-shirts. Then Axl will kill him, Nikki will kill Axl, I’ll have to kill Nikki, our bands will go to war like some fucked up Montague and Capulet shit with fucking Vince and Steven in the middle of it and all of that blood will be on your hands, you fucker!”

It felt odd to be laughing in the midst of all that had happened, but Slash couldn’t help it, “Oh come on, if you’re gonna use that metaphor at least make us The Jets and The Sharks!” he giggled. Maybe it was the heroin. Maybe he just really needed to laugh.

Too soon though, his chuckles died off, and he found his mind wandering back to darker thoughts, “Y’know,” he spoke slowly, “part of me can’t help but wish that I’d met Duff…” he waved his hand vaguely, “before,” he sighed. “I love him now. I really do. But I just… I wonder what he was like. I wonder what things would have been like if I had gotten to him first, y’know?” Izzy nodded knowingly, and Slash turned to him, asking casually, “Do you ever feel that way about Axl?”

Izzy takes a long, deep drag of his cigarette and holds it, keeping it in his lungs for so long it has to burn, before exhaling, “Axl doesn’t have a ‘before’.”

Slash closes his eyes as he mutters, “Jesus Christ...”

Across from him, Izzy shrugs, “Yeah.” He taps on Slash’s leg with his foot to get his attention, “It’s okay to wish he hadn’t been hurt, man. It doesn’t mean you love him less or anything.”

“I know, I know,” he sighed, “it just…”

“Sucks?” Izzy offered with a quirk of an eyebrow.

Slash huffed out a laugh, “Yeah,” he nodded, “It sucks.”

~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Slash! I have a question,” Tommy skipped over to the guitarist, “You have a pet snake, right?”

“Um,” Slash blinked in surprise at the unexpected question, “I have a couple, yeah, but they’re back at my mom and grandma’s place.”

“Cool, cool,” Tommy nodded, throwing an arm around his shoulders, “I’m trying to convince the guys that we should get a pet-”

Duff titled his head curiously, but before he could find out the rest of Tommy’s inquiry, a hand fell on his shoulder, tugging him to a stop.

Nikki grinned, ��Hey, smoke with me for a sec. I haven’t gotten to spend time with my bass bro in ages.”

Nodding, Duff turned to let Slash- his boyfriend, holy shit- know what he was doing, but found himself blinking in surprise when he found the other man gone. A quick glance showed that Tommy was ushering him into the Motley Crue apartment.

“Come on, I promise Tommy wont get him into too much trouble,” Nikki joked, getting his attention again.

Duff chuckled, “I dunno man, the two of them together? I don’t think either of them are exactly known for resisting chaos.”

“Fair point,” Nikki laughed, passing him his lighter until they were both smoking casually. “So,” the dark haired bassist drawled with a smirk, “you and Slash finally stopped dancing around each other, huh?”

Snorting, Duff shrugged, “Apparently. It’s still pretty surreal to be honest.” He was still a little embarrassed at how quickly the terror twins had honed in on his crush when they first met, but their teasing had always seemed good natured at least.

Nikki patted his shoulder, “Slash is a good dude, he’ll treat ya right.”

Maybe it was the nerves, or exhaustion from the show, or exhaustion from the last 22 years, but Duff found himself replying softly, “Yeah...hopefully.”

Turning to look at him, Nikki didn’t look remotely surprised by Duff’s comment, but he still raised an eyebrow questioningly, “You think he won't?”

“I- No, not, not like that,” he waved a hand as he backtracked, “That came out wrong.”

“What did you mean then?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on,” Nikki crossed his arms, and Duff felt like his eyes were staring right through him, “You think he’s a good guy, right? That’s why you like him.”

“Yeah, no, yeah of course,” his hands gestured wildly as he tried to explain himself, “He’s great, it’s just, y’know, even great guys can only put up with so much shit y’know?” He grinned nervously, “I just meant that I hope I don't fuck up. That’s all.”

Nikki narrowed his eyes, but before he could respond, the guitarist in question was jogging over to them.

“Hey guys,” Slash smiled tensely, “I was wondering where you ran off to,” he said to Duff, weaving their fingers together.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Duff gave a nervous laugh. “just got caught up in conversation.”

“Bassist bonding, y’know?” Nikki grinned, taking a long drag of his cigarette and looking at Slash calculatingly.

“Yeah, I’m still trying to convince Mick to join me and Izzy for ‘guitarist get-togethers,” he replied.

“Oh, I definitely need to see that,” Nikki laughed, seeming to relax if just slightly.

Leaning heavier against Duff, Slash turned to him, “I’m pretty beat from the show. I was thinking maybe we could get out of here…?” he suggested with a sly smile.

Duff knew exactly what that meant, and he felt his stomach twist into knots even as he nodded, “Oh, yeah, sure, I-”

“Aw, don’t leave so soon!” Nikki interrupted, giving them exaggerated puppy eyes, “You only just got here,” sauntering around them, put his arms around them both, ducking his head between them, “At least stay for a few drinks.”

As he guided them into the apartment, Duff quietly sighed in relief. He was prepared to do anything Slash asked of him.

But it’d be easier if he had a few drinks in him first.

~~~~~~~~~~~

When Slash returns to his room about an hour later, he is carrying two mugs of coffee and Duff is laying on his stomach with a pillow covering his head.

“...Duff?” Slash whispers, just to be safe, “Are you awake?”

He receives a long groan in response, and he can’t help just let out a snort of laughter.

“I can’t decide if I want to never drink again or never be sober again,” Duff’s muffled voice eventually replies.

Slash shook his head fondly as he chuckled, “Well, I brought you coffee?”

Duff’s movements were tense and hesitant, turning and pulling the pillow away just enough to glance at Slash with one weary, sad eye. After a moment he reluctantly sat up, smiling weakly when Slash handed him his mug, giving a quiet “Thanks” before sipping the drink quietly and staring at his lap.

Sitting on the bed next to him, Slash allowed both of them a minute to just drink their coffee quietly. Duff raised one hand to press his fingers into the side of his head, cringing at what Slash was sure was an impressive hangover.

Keeping his voice soft, Slash jerked his head at the blonde, “How are you feeling?”

Scoffing, Duff ran his hand through his hair, “Fucking mortified,” he replied, voice dripping with self-loathing.

Slash blinked in surprise. He had meant to ask about how Duff was physically feeling, and had expected the bassist to jump at the opportunity to put off an emotional conversation. He wasn’t sure if the unexpected development was a good sign or a bad one.

“Why?”

Duff’s head snapped to look at him, face incredulous, “What do you mean why?” One hand flailed helplessly as he rambled, “My ex showed up and I was a coward and ran off with my tail between my legs, got completely plastered, and then tried to drunkenly jump you like some sort of fucking groupie or something!” He dropped his head roughly onto his knees, his words muffled but no less vitriolic, “And then I fucking cried! Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more pathetic…”

“Hey,” Slash doesn’t raise his voice, but he’s still firm as he tugs lightly on a strand of bleached hair, “stop that. That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

Turning his head hesitantly, Duff’s face was a cross between confusion and hope, “We’re still boyfriends?”

“Wha- of course we are!” Slash cried in dismay.

“...Oh,” Duff sighed, smiling slightly before hiding his face in his knees again as he let out a huff of relieved laughter, “Fuck, man. I figured you were just, y’know, trying to let me down easy,” he waved a hand vaguely, the other still clutching his empty coffee mug.

Slash hesitates for a moment, but then he can’t resist slowly putting an arm around Duff’s shoulders, tugging him closer to lean against his side, “Duff,” he says softly, “all the shit that’s happened this week, and the things you told me… none of that makes me think less of you. None of that makes me... like you less.”

There’s no response at first, and he wonders if Duff believes him. After a minute of just sitting together, Duff finally turns to look at him. He holds his breath, waiting to see how the conversation will move forward. Then the bassist gives a slow, wry grin.

“I need a drink.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

He should probably slow down. He hadn’t eaten since before the show and the bassist was downing vodka like water. That was probably why he barely noticed when Axl linked arms with him and tugged him out of the kitchen.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” the redhead rambled, “Slash has been insufferable ever since you joined Guns. He practically had little cartoon hearts around his head every time you walked into a room.”

Duff chuckled, absentmindedly reaching out to snag another bottle of vodka he saw sitting on the coffee table. “I was convinced I didn’t have a chance with him,” he admitted.

Axl snorted as he scared off some groupies so they could sit on the worn down couch in the corner, “Please. I’m not kidding, day fucking one you could have said jump and he would've said how high.”

“Nah, that’s me,” he grinned, taking another shot from his bottle.

Taking a long sip from his own cup, Axl hummed in consideration, before grinning in excitement, “Oh man, I just realized I totally get to give Slash the shovel talk. I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Frowning, Duff looked at him in confusion, “What?”

“The shovel talk,” Axl repeated, “You know, the ‘you hurt him, I’ll hurt you’ lecture that dads give to dudes who date their daughters. Or so I’ve been told,” he shrugged.

“No I, I know that,” Duff shook his head, “I mean why would you do that with Slash?”

“Because Izzy kept saying I was the band mom, I called bullshit, and after like a week of arguing we eventually compromised on me being the dad.”

Duff nearly growled in frustration, “No, that’s not-” he shook his head, trying to pull his thoughts together, “The whole lecture thing is- I mean, if Slash did do something it’d be because I fucked up, y’know? You can’t threaten him or whatever for something like that.”

For a moment, Duff thought he could see actual flames in Axl’s eyes as the singer nearly slammed his cup down onto the coffee table, “Oh yes I fucking can.”

Eyes widening, Duff could only stare as Axl leaned forward and launched into a frantic rant, “I don’t give a fuck what you do, or think you do, or whatever. If he or anyone else ever lifts a goddamn finger towards you, you fucking tell me. Hell, if someone steps on your goddamn foot I wanna hear about it, do you understand? Tell. Me. Fuck, tell Izzy, or Steven, or fucking Nikki, anyone, I don’t fucking care, but you don’t keep that shit to yourself anymore, got it?”

Axl stared at him intently, and Duff could only gape in confusion, not sure how to respond to his snarling words. But before he had a chance, he felt a kiss on the top of his head, jumping as Slash rested his chin on his hair.

“Hey babe,” he sang, “I missed you!”

In front of him, Axl huffed, narrowing his eyes, “Um, rude? We were clearly talking.”

Slash glared right back, draping his arms over Duff’s shoulders, “Hey, he’s my boyfriend, so I get to call dibs.”

Even as he took another sip of Vodka, Duff couldn’t help but smile. Even after everything, he was still a hopeless romantic. Surely it was all worth it for the way his heart fluttered at that one simple gesture.

Right?

~~~~~~~~~

“Why are you with me?”

Slash can’t help but ask. They’re both on their second beers, silently agreeing to forgo the hard alcohol this morning. They also snagged the rest of the leftover pizza, the nearly empty box sitting open on the bed in front of them as they ate casually.

“I just mean,” Slash elaborated, “it doesn’t seem like you’re exactly… comfortable. With the whole dating thing. So why didn’t you just shoot me down?”

Duff shrugged, shooting him a smirk, “Because I liked you,” he says simply. He takes another sip of his beer as he considers his next words, “I couldn’t help it. You’re cool, and sweet, and talented. And despite, y’know, everything,” he waved a hand vaguely, “the fact that you are unfairly hot did not escape me either,” he grinned, chuckling when Slash shoved his shoulder playfully. “And then against all odds you actually liked me back, and I just...”

He looks down at his hands, peeling the label off his bottle as he admits quietly, “You kissed me and all my self-preservation went out the fucking window.”

Frowning, Slash put his drink down, leaning forward to try to catch Duff’s eye, “You know I’d never do anything to you… right? I mean, I don’t even like getting into fights with people I hate. I can’t even imagine…” he trails off, shuddering at the very idea of hurting Duff. He’s never hit any of his partners, and he’s not about to start now.

Duff hums in consideration, tilting his head and replying slowly, “...I know you’d never hurt someone who didn’t deserve it.” Slash feels his chest tighten, but before he can even begin to think of how to respond, Duff smiles slowly, quirking an eyebrow at him as he lifts his bottle to take another drink.

“All’s fair in love and war. Right?”

~~~~~~~~~

The vodka is really starting to hit by the time Izzy pulls him to his feet so Tommy can take his spot on the couch. Does that stop him from tipping the bottle back to get those last few drops?

Of course not.

He lets Izzy tug him to the other side of the room, Nikki already standing and smoking lazily. Duff nods at him in greeting as he leans heavily against the wall, blinking slowly as the room tilts around him. He’s almost drunk enough, he thinks. Almost.

“Duff.”

Shaking his head to try to focus, he turns to give Izzy his attention. The rhythm guitarist is frowning just slightly, “Duff,” he says again, voice soft, “I’m gonna level with you here. We’re worried about you.”

That has him furrowing his brows, “‘m fine, just…” he waves the empty bottle in his hand, “a little buzzed. That’s all."

“Oh we are definitely not talking about that,” Nikki chimed in.

“I meant we’re worried about you and Slash,” Izzy continued. Duff opened his mouth, but Izzy cut him off, “I know Slash. He’s a really good guy- I don’t think he’d ever do anything to hurt you on purpose.”

“What we’re worried about,” Nikki drawls, “is that he’ll do something by accident and you won't tell him.”

“But…” For a moment, Duff just stares, feeling the floor rock back and forth like a ship on the sea. Then he shakes his head slowly, his eyes drifting shut as he smiles softly.

“That’s what love is,” he explains, “It’s… it’s the people who are allowed to hurt you.”

When he opens his eyes, Izzy is looking at him with a sad, tired expression.

“No,” he says, “it’s not.”

~~~~~~~

“...Do you… still want to give this a shot?”

Duff’s head jerks up to look at him. The room is hazy from smoke, alternating between cigarettes and joints once they finished their beers, the empty pizza box shoved unceremoniously onto the floor.

Slash continues, “I really, really like you, man. But… I’d get it. If you’d rather, y’know, take a step back. You can, if you want, I won’t be mad or anything.”

Taking a deep drag of his cigarette, Duff thinks for a moment, exhaling slowly and tapping his fingers against his knee. When he finally answers, he smiles at Slash shyly, “Is it fucked up that I don’t?” He dropped the end of his cigarette into one of the empty beer bottles next to the bed, “I like you, yeah, but I also like… being with you. Even with the, y’know, stress and whatever, the last few weeks have been really… nice,” he explains slowly before glancing up at Slash out of the corner of his eye, “All this shit has kind of been my attempt at not losing this.”

Despite himself, Slash huffs out a laugh, twirling his lighter in his hand, “Is it fucked up that I’m kind of relieved?” He grins at him, “I don’t want to lose this either.”

Duff shrugged, “Eh. Maybe we’re both fucked up.”

This time, Slash laughs fully, “Yeah,” he reaches out to lace their fingers together, “Yeah, maybe we are.”

~~~~~~

The walk home was gentle. It was their arms around each other’s waists, supporting each other as they swayed, Slash peppering kisses along his shoulder and neck. The vodka keeps him loose and relaxed, and Slash keeps him smiling.

Back home, falling back onto the bed, Duff’s eyes drift shut. Even in the dark behind his eyelids everything still spins, but it’s a slow spin, more hypnotic than dizzying. It slows even more when he feels a weight rest gently on top of him, a soft sigh against his chest.

“Mmmm… Slash?” Duff muttered, turning his head to try to look at the guitarist, a mass of blurry curls blocking his view, “I-... ‘re you…”

Slash hushed him, wrapping his arms around his waist and rolling them onto their sides, tucking his head beneath Duff’s chin, “Long day,” he slurred with a smile, “Let’s just sleep now. I’ll take you on a date tomorrow,” he promised.

Duff can’t remember the last time he was on a date. He feels like he’s dreaming, laying in bed with Slash for the second time in as many days, his arms around him and nothing hurting.

“...Oh,” Duff let out a breath that he feels like he’s been holding since the day they met, “Okay,” he laughed a little, bringing a hand up to smooth back Slash’s wild curls, and he feels a kiss pressed against his shoulder, and warmth that he can’t name spreads across his body.

The guitarist’s breath evens out, falling asleep easily. Duff feels himself drifting as well, but he fights it off as long as he can, wanting to savor this unfamiliar feeling, trying to taste its name before it disappears.

Just as he succumbs to sleep, his tongue finally finds the name.

Safe.

#my writing #Scar Tissue #sluff #Guns n Roses #gnr #guns n roses fanfiction #slash #duff mckagan #duff/slash

[travllingbunny]

The 100: 7x03 False Gods

Although I liked this episode less than the first two episodes of season 7, which were great, especially 7x02. I quite enjoyed False Gods for what it was. This seems to be an unpopular opinion in the fandom, which mostly hated it for what it wasn’t. And I get it - Bellamy has been missing for almost 3 episodes (even though it’s not even been 2 days since he left Sanctum), Clarke took a back seat here, and the new SciFi Anomaly storyline is far more interesting than the power struggles in Sanctum. Plus the A plot of this episode was problem-of-the-week, another potential nuclear meltdown - of a reactor we didn’t even know about before. 

it feels like a setup/breather before we get to the real story. Yes, it's high time the storylines finally converge and Clarke and the others learn that Bellamy and others are missing, and get involved in the Anomaly plot. I guess I’m more patient than most, and it helped that I already knew this would only happen in the next episode.The biggest problem of this episode is probably that it didn’t address what was happening in the other storyline, for the benefit of all the viewers who are watching this weekly, don’t necessarily think about the show’s timeline and aren’t aware of the fact that it’s been a little over one day since Bellamy, Octavia, Echo and Gabriel went to research the Anomaly Stone, that there’s absolutely nothing surprising about the fact they haven’t come back yet (people were absent for similar periods of time in season 6 even when they went to a less distant location), that there is no reason whatsoever for Clarke and others to think that there are any other threats on the moon or any other humans outside Sanctum, and that there are no radio signals or mobile phones they could use to call them before they get back. And that, if she doesn’t have reasons to think Bellamy is in danger, it’s not OOC at all for Clarke to not be whining about the fact that he left with his girlfriend, his sister and Gabriel to do research instead of stay and help her as a co-leader in Sanctum, while she is also grieving her mom... Actually, you know what, I do have a problem with people criticizing Clarke for that. But I do see why a mention would help the viewers get a sense of coherence, that both this and the previous episode belong to the same story.

But at the same time, this episode delivered some of the things many fans have been saying they wanted to see: it was focused on the characters who have been there from season 1, Raven and Murphy (and Emori, who has been there since season 2 and has had the most long-lasting relationship in the show), it gave Raven an arc and character development and put her in the situation to make “impossible choices” and understand how Clarke has felt so many times (something that many were asking for after her season 6 characterization), it, put an end to Madi being a Commander, and let Clarke grieve for the loss of her mother for another episode.

Raven's storyline was still really engaging and the scenes in the reactor intense. And damn it, I liked Hatch, even though he was in just two episodes and a few scenes. He stole the show and made me really sad when I realized he was definitely doomed. I knew from the trailer that Nikki would beat the crap out of Raven, but I didn't know why. A lot of people thought Nikki would just be a straight-up villain like McCreary, but instead, she's given a good reason to feel the way she does. And it was high time the show addressed the fact that the Eligius prisoners are looked down on as second class people or barely people. Sure, they are murderers and thieves and not nice people, but that doesn’t make it OK to see them as barely human, as Eligius Corporation did when they were going to leave them to die as expendable.

This is probably leading to the friendship between Raven and Clarke getting stronger again. Other things this episode seemed to be setting up: 

future conflicts in Sanctum: SheidhedaRussell (SheidRussell? RussellHeda?) getting more control, while Clarke and others have no idea about who he really is, while the Eligius prisoners are going to be led by a very angry Nikki;

Clarke has a continuation of her story from 7x01 and gets a kind of closure to her grief over her mother. She gets to say that she cannot lose anyone else, a very obvious setup for learning about Bellamy’s  (and others’) disappearance. At first, this made me roll my eyes a little bit - it’s not like this is a new motivation for Clarke. She is always trying to save her people, and anyone who isn’t aware how important Bellamy is to her, has not been paying attention. But then it struck me - the show was doing extra work to set up Clarke being ready to leave Madi in Sanctum without looking like a ‘bad mother’  - and for that purpose, she now 1) knows Madi is not a Heda anymore and can breathe a sign of relief that Madi can be a normal kid now, 2) has no idea about Sheidheda, and 3) has started to trust Gaia enough as someone who could take care of Madi.

This time it’s Luisa's voice saying "Previously". It looks like they're having a different cast member say it at the start of each episode (Eliza in 7x01, Marie in 7x02).

James wasn’t losing any time, did he. It’s been just a little over a day since they came from the ship, and he’s already hooking up with a girl from Sanctum. And the show really did the horror trope of a couple that goes to a secluded place to hook up and dies. 

There is a nuclear reactor in Sanctum? We go to another planet moon, and again the same problems, just as Indra said.

The opening titles ended with a new shot of the mansion and the grave next to it - this is presumably what Abby’s grave will look in the future. At the moment, it’s a heap of rocks with flowers over them. (Maybe it's meant to be Kane's, too - they don't have either of their bodies, though Abby did die on Sanctum and they could at least bury her clothes.) Contrary to what many fans thought, Clarke burying Jake’s ring was not Abby’s “funeral” - the funeral had already been held, so the answer to the often asked question “why weren’t Madi, Raven, Jackson, Murphy etc. there", is - they were, when the funeral was held. Clarke just went later, alone, to bury the ring, the remembrance of both her parents. With the grave being so close to the mansion, Gaia saw Clarke coming to bury the ring and then came to talk and bury the Flame. 

It’s good that Clarke has another confidante/budding friendship, someone to talk to in her increasingly small circle. But I’m not sure that Clarke and Gaia managed to connect that much over grief - because losing a parent and losing your religion are very different kinds of loss. Clarke doesn’t even have a religion and doesn’t have that kind of experience.

I love the way the show acknowledged that everyone knows Clarke will always be the first one to risk her life to save everyone - and Murphy knows it. But the plot mechanics ket Clarke away from this storyline (because Murphy and Emori had have it) - Indra said Calrke had her hands full with Russell’s execution, even though it wasn’t clear why she’d have to be the one to organize it (especially since Indra herself seems to be capable of dealing with the politics) and Clarke didn’t look too busy the rest of the episode.

I’m glad we’re done with the plot of Madi being Heda or having to pretend to be Heda. Although I’m sure this will haunt her still, because she has memories of other Commanders - including Becca and Sheidheda, and she may find it the easiest to recognize SH, because she knows him better than anyone.  

I completely understand why Clarke wasn’t going to let Madi order Wonkru members to perform such a dangerous task - she doesn’t want to let Madi feel responsible for sending people to their deaths, feel the same guilt she did, but at an even younger age.

Gaia telling the truth both was and wasn’t the right thing to do - morally right, but with potentially terrible consequences, if no welders had been found. Here’s a song for her by one of my favorite bands. On the other hand, Raven lied to people in the name of necessity and the greater good of them all, and achieved her goal but ended up sending people to their deaths, and felt the consequences of lying.

One revelation I really liked is that the guy from Sangedakru thinks of the infamous Dark Commander as “Sangedakru’s greatest champion”. That feels a lot more realistic than the idea that all Grounders hate him and think of him as a monster - even though their culture is based on war and killing, and we’ve seen other Grounder leaders (Queen Nia) be just as ruthless. Sheidheda being from another clan helps makes sense of Indra’s story from 6x13 of the time SH “took Trikru” and was going from village to village and killing everyone who refused to kneel. I’ve been wondering for a long time what exactly Heda were commanding before Lexa united the clans. I suppose they were trying to command, but clans were still divided and preferred Hedas from their own. And it seems that Sheidheda was also trying to ‘unite’ the clans, but not by negotiations! Of course he is considered a monster by people from all the other clans, whom he was killing and torturing and trying to conquer, but is still remembered as a hero by his own clan. Of course. That’s how it usually goes.

Small moments of Sheidheda enjoying the fact he’s corporeal again - from touching his own arms to eating a cookie - are a nice touch.

I like the fact that Sheidheda is smart and much sneakier than the pompous Russell was. He had to be smart to be able to manipulate the AI in the way no other Commander could, not even Becca, its creator, ti isolate the other Commanders, get control of Madi, and later download himself to Russell’s mind drive. SH was also using the captivity to read some of the books he’s found and apparently gain some technical knowledge about Sanctum,

Delilah’s parents are finally back. I don’t think we had seen them since they killed Priya. And Trey (the annoying  “adjustor” who was brainwashing Jordan) can go f(ck himself. Really? Blaming Delilah’s parents for avenging her death?

I’m still unsure where exactly the show is going with Jordan. His brainwashing will have to be addressed at some point. It may not have been fully successful - he doesn’t think of the Primes as gods - but it was sure enough for him to stop despising them as murderers and to start believing their BS (and even to form some sort of attachment to Priya). If he weren’t brainwashed, he’d be spending time with Delilah’s grieving parents, rather than the people who worship her murderers. Right now, the show is playing it ambiguously, so some people may even forget about brainwashing and just see Jordan as a gullible naive guy (which he is, of course, he grew up just interacting with his parents) or as Jordan sees himself, as a moral compass/substitute for his father. Someone should tell him that Monty was never naive and knew when it was necessary to fight and kill, even though he hated it and tried to avoid it. Maybe realizing that he’s been manipulated by the Devout and by SH will be a wake-up call. 

Jackson has had more character focus in S7 than he had for seasons - the mild doctor now wants revenge for his mentor-mother figure. Good to see more focus on his and Miller’s relationship, including their arguments. What Jackson said about Miller seems to have hurt Miller, who’s still feeling guilty for his role in the Blodreina regime. Maybe this Mackson disagreement contributes to Miller deciding to leave, to prove something to himself, and save Bellamy this time, since he didn’t do it in season 5.

Memori continue to be adorable. and we learn that Raven having no respect for her friends’ privacy is a recurring thing. Another snippet about the life on the Ring.

There was one line that didn’t make sense to me. Raven to Murphy: “Go do your job, be Emori’s moral anchor”. What?! Isn’t it usually the exact opposite? 

Speaking of couples - Hatch called Nikki “Honey bunny”. That has to be a Pulp Fiction reference. Raven got the job done here, but I feel like Hatch’s death will have dire consequences for the possibility of peace in Sanctum. Both because he was the more optimistic and tolerant one, willing to expect good and to try to work to earn respect, and because Nikki is now going to be even angrier and more extreme. And just like we had different views about Sheidheda among the Grounders, here we see different views among prisoners about McCreary - Hatch calls him a jackass he won’t miss, but Nikki thinks he would have fought for the rights and better treatment of the prisoners. (I wonder what any of them have been told about Diyoza.)

“Welcome to the world of grey”

A few more words about Raven’s storyline -

One thing that bothers me about this storyline is the idea that this is the first time Raven is in the "world of grey". I guess the writing staff Murphy doesn't remember that time when she tried to give him to the Grounders to be tortured and killed in Finn's place for a crime Finn committed. She also tried to get Clarke to kill Lexa and start a war over Finn in that same episode, basically to sacrifice a bunch of people for him. There was also that time when she tortured Lincoln with electric shocks to save Finn. Or that time when she was withholding medicine from the dying people, including a dying child, because of rationing. Or the time when she was ready to turn the plug on 283 prisoners in cryo sleep. Or when she gave Echo an OK to kill Shaw, her ally, in season 5.

But all this got forgotten because she's never before had to deal with the consequences of her actions. Lincoln didn't die, the others stopped her from turning over Murphy and Finn gave himself up, Clarke opted to mercy kill Finn and do what's best for everyone instead, Murphy stole the meds and gave them to Abby so the child was given the medicine but died anyway, they didn't have to - and then couldn't - kill the prisoners in their sleep, Echo did not kill Shaw... 

There were also plenty of times when Raven gave others the responsibility - like when she decided Clarke needed to make the list of 100 people who'll get to survive Praimfaya in the Arkadia as shelter (while passively aggressively bashing her at the same time, which was weird: "I'm in charge of rationing, but deciding who lives or dies is your specialty"), and then Clarke got blamed for it.U

Now, the writers (going by Jason's recent interview where he said that Raven had never done anything morally wrong in the first 6 seasons) seem to have forgotten about it - which I guess is why they wrote her as a self-righteous moralizer in season 6 - unintentionally making her really hypocritical. Which I hated, because she used to be one of my favorite characters, but became quite hard to like in season 6. 

The way I see it, it’s best to ignore ridiculous BTS statements of the writers when those statements don’t match canon. I’m all for “Death of the Author” in that case, at least. If we just ignore it, Raven’t entire arc starts making more sense. Maybe they had some weird idea that they were writing her as the moral compass of the show in season 6 (but people who have acted as a moral compass usually don’t say things like “I’ve never done anything wrong in my life!” and refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes), but I’ve always interpreted Raven’s behavior in S6 as lashing out - she was hurting and lashing out, because she had been betrayed by her substitute mom Abby in the same way and for the same reasons as her real mom; she also felt betrayed by Clarke; and then she lost Shaw, the one person who would have put her first, so she felt she had no one left who would. (Though she did get better later in the season, making up with Abby, acting less judgmental and making up with Clarke. )

This is either the show course-correcting her earlier characterization, or fixing a long-standing flaw - Raven’s tendency to be harsh and judgmental to others, which had already been there before season 6. This was seen in this episode, too, from some of her disparaging comments to Murphy, to her contempt for the Eligius prisoners (not that this isn’t understandable, with the fact that she had been tortured by McCreary’s men).

So this feels like an important step in Raven starting to face the world of grey she often tried to see as black and white, and for once be in a situation where she has, almost directly, caused people’s deaths, by decisions she made on her own. 

(The show also seems to be course-correcting a few other things about Raven: she looks more like her old self, she has gotten back some of her snark, and the show is showing her disability more - after having largely ignored it for the last couple of seasons.) 

To be fair to Raven, she did not know from the start that she was sending Hatch and others to their deaths. She had assumed at first that the task would be dangerous, but not lethal. When she realized it was, the men were already irradiated, and it was necessary to fix the reactor so it would not kill everyone. The bigger problem was that Raven had lied - because she did not respect these people enough to give them an opportunity to maybe volunteer while knowing what the danger was. I think that Hatch, at least, still would have. He did prove smarter than she thought but realizing what was going on, while she was still lying to them that they weren’t going to die in minutes, and, contrary to what she had assumed - he did still want to fix the reactor, in spite of knowing he’d die, to save someone he loved. Raven also showed a similar disrespect towards Murphy - locking him inside to get the job done. It feels like this is something that has never been fully resolved between them - the fact that Murphy was a POS in season 1 and crippled Raven, but also, that she was fully prepared to give him to the Grounders to be tortured and killed in Finn’s place. I feel like this is going to make her start thinking differently and maybe give people the benefit of a doubt.

I knew Nikki was going to beat the crap out of Raven from the trailer, but I didn’t know what her reasons would be. It felt like Raven herself almost wanted this as punishment, because she felt guilty, and would rather take a beating than comfort (”Don’t touch me!”) And I’m sure Raven can understand how Nikki feels, since she has lost Shaw so recently, and Finn before. 

I liked Hatch’s conversation with Murphy and the parallels Murphy could see there - Hatch and Nikki were another Bonnie and Clyde-style thief or rather robber duo.... except it went too far and they became murderers. Which Memori were not... but Murphy was a murderer even in season 1. In season 6, Murphy died and thought he had gone to hell for his sins, so it must have resonated with him when Hatch replied that, no, he wasn’t looking for redemption, because “There is no making up for it”.

Body count: James (RIP to yet another Arker from Wonkru, though we first met him in 6x02), his Sanctum girlfriend, and 4 Eligius prisoners including Hatch (which means that 32 remain).

Rating: 7/10

#the 100 #the 100 7x03 #false gods #the 100 season 7 #raven reyes #john murphy #emori #clarke griffin #gaia kom trikru #sheidheda #jordan green #indra kom trikru

[xxsakuragirlxx]

30 Questions

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you

are contractually obligated to know better.

I wanted to tag some christian bloggers but I'm to scared, so I'm just not gonna tag anybody. So who ever sees this and wants to do this from my blog, go right ahead lol

Thank you for tagging me @bubblegumnebulaa !

1. Name/Nickname: Nikia/ Nikki / Sakura / Saki (I call myself those last two names. For what reason? I still don't know.)

2. Gender: Female

3. Star sign: I'm not into star signs but I'll answer; Gemini

4. Height: I haven't properly checked my height for years, but I'm around 5'4 or 5'5 right now? (It's kinda sad that for a girl my age, I can't even tell my own height 😔 I would blame my family for not teaching me but it's mostly my fault for not teaching myself common sense.)

5. Time: 5:31 p.m.

6. Birthday: June 16th

7. Favorite bands: I don't really have a favorite band, I just listen to whatever music pleases me (mostly Korean or Christian music) but I will say that For KING and COUNTRY songs (they are a duo of Christian singers) slaps!

8. Favorite solo artists: Same answer as last question. I just listen to whatever music pleases me so I don't have a favorite artist. Actually, I can answer this question. It's just one artist however. His name is KB. He is a Christian Hip-hop artist. My man makes really good music.

9. Song stuck in my head: Song? Nah, it's multiple songs being stuck on repeat in my head at the same time and I can't even differentiate between any of them. But one I can say right now that I have stuck on repeat is the song "Angels We Have Heard On High" by For KING and COUNTRY.

10. Last movie I watched: I can't even remember lol

11. Last show I watched: Spongebob Squarepants ( I stay up really late at night so I keep seeing this show on repeat.)

12. When did I create this blog: According to my tumblr archive, I started this blog in May of 2016 but only became active from reblogging from others in December of the same year.

13. What do you post: Basically nothing. Sometimes something, but nothing 😂. If you were to take away all my reblogs from here, my blog would be BARE.

14. Last thing googled: "How to complete food delivery quest for Genshin Impact" (If you play the game, the food event was freaking annoying to finish...)

15. Other blogs: I don't have any other blogs on here. Just other social media accounts I don't use.

16. Do I get asks: Rarely

17. Why I chose my URL: I have no idea lol. I'm not really that creative so I just put one of my OC's name with the word girl and BOOM there you go! I've been created!

18. Following: 425

19. Followers: 138 (mostly porn blogs...)

20. Average hours of sleep: Maybe around 2 to 3 hours? I said before I don't really sleep at night. So I sleep during the day and afternoon.

21. Lucky number: 7

22. Instruments: I play piano as of right now. Use to play the flute back when I was in band. I don't play constantly because I'm... kinda sad? Idk, I just have no motivation anymore to do things I love anymore. I just sleep all day, stare at my phone, and become paranoid at every sound I hear. And with everybody talking about what's gonna happen on the 21st, I just gave up. I'm tired... (Didn't mean to rant)

23. What am I wearing: The question is, what am I NOT wearing? Ok jk jk. I'm wearing my old red band T-shirt with some shorts.

24. Dream job: Don't have one. I use to love acting and took a two year acting course at school. Use to act in plays and people said I did great for a shy girl. Wanted to go to Hollywood but realize I ain't about to do the horrid shit they do there and become one of those people who get "cancelled" for having a different opinion :) Other than that, I don't care about a job. Besides, I probably won't make it to the age of getting a proper career.

25. Deam trip(s): Japan, South Korea, Guyana, Hawaii (my school has a lady who use to travel a lot before becoming teacher, so she decided to plan trips for people to sign up for if she can afford it with some company. It can only be in the United States however. I was one of the lucky ones to sign up quickly this year, because she can only take a few people, and the trip for 2021 will be going to Hawaii. I was allowed to let my mother come because I don't have friends really so hopefully, June of 2021 will be the best trip my mother has ever taken.

26. Favorite foods: I have Guyanese blood in me. My whole family is from there, but decided to move to America. I'm tired of living in a state and county that has horrid food that is not healthy for us. Ok, I wouldn't say the country has bad food in general, but I live in Mississippi. The only thing I can afford is junk food because Walmart doesn't want to keep their fruits and vegetables fresh enough and my family can't afford to go to another Walmart here in the state just to make us eat healthy 😒. Ok back to my point lol. Whenever we get the chance, we eat a lot of Guyanese food or just Carribean foods in general. They taste better than America food. If my family didn't leave home, we would have access to a bunch of fruits and vegetables for FREE.

27. Nationality (with my ethnicity???): As stated before, I got Guyanese blood. My ethnicity you could say is African American, mixed with Indian and with some Portuguese( I don't freaking know honestly, I got to look more into nationality and ethnics) But I'm an American citizen because I was born during the time when my family came here. Soooooo, American? ( I'm telling you guys, me being the age I am, I got no right being this damn dumb 💀)

28. Favorite song: Like the other two questions dealing with music, whatever pleases me. But I'll just say the same thing as before "Angels We Have Heard on High" by For KING & COUNTRY.

29. Last book read: My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Volume 2

30. Top three fictional universes I would like to live in: JoJo's bizarre Adventures, My Hero Academia, and Keeper of the Lost Cities. (It's a book series lol, it's really nice.)

Wowzers, that took long. Again, thank you @bubblegumnebulaa for tagging me :)

#tag game

[maxdoesbb]

Big Brother Tumblr Tag Game

So I was tagged by @vanessacries to take part in their Big Brother Tumblr Tag Game and here are my answers

Rules:

If you are tagged copy and paste the rules and all questions

Answer the questions

Tag 3-5 people to also complete the questions

Tagged by @vanessacries (legend)

About Me

1. Name or nickname? - My name is Max, but ya’ll already knew that

2. Age/Age Group? - 18, but there is an episode on my 19th birthday!

3. Zodiac Sign - Libra

4. Favorite Color? - Some days it’s orange, some days it’s purple

5. Favorite Animal? - I love love love LOVE Red Pandas...google them they’re so cute

6.  First Season of BB you remember watching? - In terms of BBUS, season 16. In terms of Big Brother as the franchise, BBUK Season 7

7. Would you ever want to go on BB, if so, what type of player would you be? - I Would love to, I would try and have like a Jun Song Floater game, but new school bb hates that so...i’d be out week one

8.  Are there other CBS shows you’d want to go on, and if so, why? - I would love to do the amazing race, but i’m from the UK so they won’t let me shshhs

9.  What other Reality shows do you watch? -  I watched The Only Way Is Essex up until 2017, I could also rewatch ANY season of Geordie Shore or BBUK

10.  All time favorite houseguest? - This is a hard one, Idk if it counts, but Nikki Grahame was on BBCAN and any house she’s in turns the season up to 11 for me, If I don’t count and has to be from BBUS, Vanessa from bb17

About the Show

1. What is your all time Favorite twist? - The Twin Twist, if the twins don’t tell anyone (which is sadly always going to happen) it feels so tense like sumn about two people having to act like one person is just iconic to me!

2. What is a twist that you like, but kind of flopped? - The MVP twist, In my eyes this flopped like the season, I think if they made it so you could only be the MVP once then it would have worked better in season 15, but they also could have flipped it so that the evictee picks who goes up, that would have been iconic watching everyone asking who put up the 3rd nominee, but it was actually the person they sent out the door the week before

3. If you were the new Grodner and had to remake the show, what would you keep the same? - The art team, I don’t think they get enough credit, Sure sometimes it’s a bit meh, but the den of temptation was just *chef’s kiss*

4. What would you change? Casting, that is all i have to say about that.

5. What’s your all time favorite comp? Generic answer, but OTEV is actually so iconic to me, the strategies, the fights, It also gave me one of my favourite Janelle moments ever

6. What’s your all time favorite competition? - idk if i’m being a clown, but this is basically the same as question 5 sksksk

7. All time favorite punishment? - To me all the punishments are kinda dull, like i feel like the producers do it more for comedy on the shows to shy away from the actual problematic stuff that happens every season.

8. If you could bring any houseguest back to be in the house (not to play the game) who would it be and why? - So they just like sit around and observe from inside? If I’m allowed, I’d say miss tea queen Angela Clancy from BBAU12 cause she is some good TV.

9. If you could bring any houseguest back to play, who would it be? - Jackie Ibarra, Hands down!

10.  What is your most memorable episode? - BBCAN5, Week 5′s Eviction episode a.k.a THAT double eviction!

11. If you could have any reality star from any other show on BB who would it be? She’s been on the UK version already, but Gemma Collins!!!!!

12. What’s your favorite BB series outside of normal BBUS (normal BBUS does not include CBBUS or BBOTT)  - BBUK cause I grew up with it (and thought it was the only version until bbus16 started)

13. Favorite Julie Chen sign off? - I prefer Arisa Cox’s “Someone is always watching” so Julie doesn’t speak in my mind sjsjsjsj

14. Is there anything from old BB that you would bring back, why or why not, and if yes, what would it be? - Casting, cause a lot of older seasons had a mixture of old and young players and they don’t have jobs like “Social Media influencer” or “Podcast maker” or “Jewellery Maker” they have jobs that they can apply to big brother and don’t have to worry about their social media reputation!

15. If you were in the BB house and you won HoH what album would be in your HoH basket and who would you want to receive a letter from? - I’m torn between LM5, Future Nostalgia, and Sweetner, In terms of letter, I’d say my best friend, I’ve known her for almost 10 years and we’ve spoken literally everyday since we met so uhhh sorry to my mother sksksks

16. Favorite Alliance - Danielle and Jason from bb3, that is what an Alliance should be, not the 10 mayo alliances they make in new big brother

17. Funniest BB moment  - (it’s not bbus, but it’s the only valid answer!)

18. Favorite first boot?  - JODI ROLLINS DESERVED BETTER!

19. Least favorite houseguest? - Frankie cause him being related to Ariana is the reason i watch this shit show...

This or That

1. Old School BB or New School BB

2. Julia or Liz Nolan

3. Vaness Rousso or Jun Song?

4. Cody Calafiore or Cody Nickson?  (Nickson was the face my sleep paralysis demon during bb19)

5. Swaggy or Bayleigh (I’ve seen more of Bayleigh then I have Swaggy)

6. Janelle or Kaysar? (Only because of her views)

7. Orwell or the rubber duck?

8. Hacker twist or Pandora’s Box?

9. Nicole A or Nicole F? (Both are bad, F gets -100 points for not shutting up about her damn wedding!)

10. Dan or Will?

11. Bathroom with Bathroom sand (BB18) or The Fidget Spinner Wall (BB20)?

12. The Hive or The Spy Grils

13. PB&J or Slop?

14. Nerdy Guy archetype or Quirky Girl archetype?

15. The cursed liztin gif or the Maven (BB19) cum rag?

Tag Questions

1. First Season you blogged - Lurking since BB17, started posting a bit BB20, but didn’t start posting fully until BB21

2. Favorite season to blog - Like 2 of you were there but Big Brother Australia 12

3. Favorite Bloggers? the list is too LONG! so top 3 in no particular order @stanningbb @charlchen-moonves @bathroom-sand

4. Favorite tag cryptid (i.e. djmrod, the confession accounts, the bayler stan account, stella) - Stella (could you say lin is kind of a cryptid?)

5. Build an ideal alliance with people from the tag - The trio from hell of course! ( @charlchen-moonves, @stanningbb and I)

6. Favorite content creator (gifs, videos, posts). - So far this season i gotta say @charlchen-moonves and her bob edits!!!

7. Person in the tag that you like but are too nervous to talk to? Literally EVERYONE like something just tells me ya’ll secretly hate me ssjsjs

8. Have you played in any tag games (like bbdiscords, orgs, etc.,) if so what was your favorite experience? - I’ve been in a couple of bbsims, when my account was maxat3am i actually won my first bbsim, forgot who hosted it sksksk

9. Favorite gate? - Selfiegate cause ya’ll are so cute and I just love the positive energy we create!

10. What opinions do you have that you feel would be unpopular in the tag? - I don’t really know if it’s that unpopular but Meg Maley from bb17 deserved better like she won no HoHs no Vetos like, I was rooting of her during bb17!

11. Have you thirst followed anyone after a selfiesgate? - whY would i Ever diSclose that

12. Whose someone in the tag that has stopped blogging bb that you miss? - Is it bad i haven’t noticed anyone leave...

13. Favorite holiday people have called Christmas? - I saw someone call her Toyotathon and i was wheezing for about 10 minutes

14. If you could steal any url whose would it be? I don’t know, I like my URL, however I do like @kidnappedbyacrow​‘s url so uhh hand it over sjsjsj (jk love you really!)

15. Favorite tag meme? (i.e. Paul;s mistake, victim noises, claling chr*stmas anything but her name, etc.,) Paul’s mistake made me wanna join the tag so uhh yeah that!

Tag 3-5 people (or more or less)

I tag @stanningbb​ @charlchen-moonves​ @bathroom-sand​ @kidnappedbyacrow​ and @peterbrownismydaddy​

#bb22 #that was fun sjsjsj #fuck the episode tho

[vickielou]

Home isn’t a place, It’s a feeling (Tom Holland Fanfiction)

Chapter One 

The cameras flashed everywhere around me, I tried to pretend I wasn’t anxious at the thought of being seen at this thing. Premier Nights weren’t my favourite part of being friends with actor. They filled me with a sense of anxiety that before Tom got famous I’d never felt before. I felt a hand at my elbow. “You look worse than Tom and he’s the one everyone came to see” Harry laughed. Harry Holland. Little shit. Twin #2. 

“I hate these things” I muttered, his hand tapped at my elbow in reassurance. I tried to find it reassuring. I failed. “You can hide behind me if you want” he offered, I think he noticed my unease. The uneven pattern of my breathing and most obvious, I was biting my nails like crazy, my mother was going to have a fit when she saw them. I smiled at Harry, I tried to smile like I wasn’t panicking but I think Harry saw straight through me. A side effect of spending so much time around the Holland Boys. “Thanks for the offer, but Sam is still my favourite twin” I replied, a joke seemed the right way to go. Harry sent me a dirty look. “He got you the guitar for Christmas three years ago, let it go,” He said shaking his head in disapproval. I snorted. 

He was right. Three years ago on Christmas day Sam Holland, other little shit and Twin #1 had gifted me a Fender FSR CC-60s Mahogany Concert Acoustic Guitar and it was still the light in my life. You would think that my best friend would have been the one that had bought me the greatest present I’d ever received but Tom didn’t understand guitars and we had a deal that meant that Tom wouldn’t buy me anything to do with music and I wouldn’t buy him anything to do with golf because I couldn’t understand golf to save my life. 

I’d been spending part of my Christmas holiday with the Hollands since I was 10 years old. My mother and Nikki had been neighbours (-and best friends!) as long as either of them could remember. My mother worked as a care assistant and more often than not she had to work 12-hour shifts around the Christmas period so I learned from a very young age that the Hollands were like a second family to me. Every time my mum had to work overtime to make ends meet or couldn’t come and get me from school because she just couldn’t get her half an hour break yet, I would go to the Hollands and looking back now that time I spent at their house became some of the best memories of my childhood. 

The cameras flashed again and the sound of the crowd outside the cinema got infinitely louder bringing me kicking and screaming back to the present. “Guess Tom’s here” I muttered. I heard the sound of tyres squealing outside and the sound of chanting got louder. Damn those fangirls and their seemingly infinite lung capacity. “Tom! Tom!” They shouted I leaned on the door frame and watched the scene unfold. At some point during Tom’s grand entrance, Harry went to find Sam and I was left alone. I wasn’t fond of being left alone but Sam was doing photographs for the premier and he needed help. The cinema seemed bigger than it had been all the times I’d been there before. Somehow leaning against the door waiting for my best friend to come waltzing through it, when he was done sighing autographs, the place seemed to be the size of the Blackpool Tower Ballroom. The dress that I’d squeezed myself in to for the occasion felt tighter than ever, my chest painfully constricted. 

I had been thinking about leaving when the door in front of me opened and a familiar face was hurried through by security men that were three times his size, that was saying a lot recently. Tom had been working his arse off in the gym and was around twice the size he used to be. 

I took my time to take in his appearance before he noticed me, his face was flushed. His navy suit was dishevelled, the grey shirt underneath was flecked with sweat and his hair was sticking to his forehead with the same sweat from running around signing autographs and taking pictures with the aforementioned fangirls.

“Tommy” I called, he jumped a mile and looked over to where I was standing by the door. I saw the relief cross over his face that I wasn’t someone he didn’t know watching him at what could be considered a vulnerable moment. I was the only person who could call him that. 

“Jules, thank god.” He smiled walking over, I watched his eyes take me in as he came closer. He reached out his hand for mine and I happily let him pull me towards where the crowd of people were heading towards the cinema room for the first showing of Toms new movie ‘ONWARD’. I’d heard most of the movie in the clips that Tom had messaged me whilst he was on set, I hadn’t actually seen the animation though and I was excited to see what he’d been making the months he’d been away. 

We sat in the seats towards the back, two seats on Tom’s left side were reserved for Sam and Harry when they finally got around to joining us. Tom’s arm immediately went around my shoulder, allowing me to lean back into his embrace. I’d missed this. Yeah, I’d seen him since he came back from New York but I hadn’t seen him for a while it was nice to have him close to me again. 

“I’m so glad you came” he was whispering, leaning closer to my ear, I felt his breath tickling the shell and I sighed happily. His breath smelt minty fresh like he’d brushed his teeth minutes ago but I hadn’t missed the gentle pop of his gum. Smart boy, no tuna breath on premiere night. “Wouldn’t be anywhere else” I replied. Tom’s gentle smile was the last thing I remember seeing before the lights went off and the opening credits to the film started. 

 Before anyone can say it, I know what you’re thinking. You lucky bitch. You’re best friends with Tom Holland. I understand that because Tom is one of the greatest guys that you’ll ever meet. But not for the reasons that most of the fangirls think. Yeah, the man was fucking gorgeous, I’m his best friend but I have eyes. Buffer than a Norse god and more swag that a billionaire playboy philanthropist but that wasn’t the reason that I was so lucky. I saw a side to him that most people didn’t, I saw sleepy Tom falling asleep in front of the TV watching reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I saw Tom shitting himself watching the remake of IT. I saw him crying over a puppy video on his Facebook and I saw him proudly smiling at his phone when he finally did something right on Instagram. He was and always had been a great guy. 

But enough about Tom, let’s get back to where we were. 

The premiere went better than expected and I loved the new film, Tom had the gall to laugh at me when I was sobbing towards the end of the movie. That earned him a punch to the stomach that Nikki would have been proud of. Stupid boy, I can’t get through a damn one of his movies without tearing up. Damn almost had a crying fit when I watched The Impossible. Now, remember I was around 13 when the premiere of that film happened and the thought of anything happening to Tom back then was more than my pimpley hormone fuelled heart could take. Tom had to come out of the premiere and hold me for twenty minutes whilst I sobbed, repeatedly reminding me it was a film and he wasn’t going to leave me anytime soon. Yeah, It wasn’t my proudest moment. It was one of my favourite Tom memories though. 

“So, What did you think?” Tom asked as the lights came back on. I looked up at him through my panda eyes where my mascara had run and gave him the dirtiest look I could manage. “You said it wasn’t sad” I accused, rubbing at my eyes profusely “You lied to me” 

“You cry at every one of my premieres, when are you going to learn to wear waterproof mascara?” Toma asked, pulling his sleeve down over his hand and taking a swipe at the mascara running down my cheeks.  “What’s life without a little risk?” I smirked, he shook his head at me, his hand gripping my chin tighter as he gently wiped my face, in the back of a movie theatre with the sleeve of his suit. Oh the class

“You have got to stop rewatching Harry Potter” He sighed

“Says the person who bought me the boxset” I returned. “Not to watch everyday” He laughed, seeming happy enough with his handiwork. He let go of my face. Part of me instantly missed his touch. “And I suppose a great muggle like yourself is going to stop me?” I laughed. Tom looked at me with great disapproval. Tom had never understood my obsession with Harry Potter. A diehard Marvel fan instead, there was no room in his head for anything except Spiderman. The more I think about it, the more I realise that him not being Spiderman for the MCU was utterly preposterous. The man had spiderman bedding, granted Paddy currently slept on those but still, the man lived and breathed Marvel. 

“You’re lucky I put up with your arse. Now, what did you actually think?” He asked standing up and holding his hand out to help me up and out of the mostly empty theatre.

“I love it” I smiled. “You really pulled at my heartstrings. Are you going to introduce me to Chris Pratt now?” I asked, fluttering my wet eyelashes at Tom in faux flirtation 

“And have to bail you out of prison after you flash at him? No chance” He laughed, gripping my hand tighter and scoffing at my flirtation persuasion attempt. “Indecent exposure is a misdemeanour, I’ll skip prison” I replied. “I’m still not introducing you, in fact. I’m skipping the afterparty all together” He smiled. We’d reached the door to the cinema. Everyone was pretty much gone. There were a few stragglers that were walking around talking on the phone or waiting for taxis home I imagined. There was a teenaged girl that looked up when she saw Tom and let out the most adorable squeak. I pulled on his hand and made him stop to take a picture with her, not that Tom needed forcing to be nice to his fans but Tom could be oblivious and she struck me as the type of girl that wouldn’t have the balls to come over and ask for a picture. 

“So, want me to drop you off?” he asked, sliding into the driver’s seat. I heard the leather screech and he settled himself comfortably and reached for his seatbelt. 

“To the house exactly three doors down from yours?” I laughed, sliding into the passenger’s seat and instantly reaching for the radio, turning on signal one on low. 

“Well actually,” He said pausing and waiting for me to fasten my seatbelt before starting the car “I was wondering if I could stay at your house tonight?” He asked. “My house? With my mother?” I asked, knowing that my mother wasn’t at the house but playing hard to get all the same. 

“Isn’t she working at the care home tonight?” He pointed out. The beams from the traffic lights bounced across his face as he drove and I found myself watching the patterns with interest. “I’m not sure if I should find it creepy that you know her rota or not, why are you planning on getting me alone?” I asked, regarding him with a fake expression of fear and distrust. 

“I want to spend time with my best friend, and also not be surrounded by my parents right now” He replied, his shoulders tensed at the mention of his parents and I instantly understood. “I see where this is going, Nikki still hasn’t come around to the idea of you moving out, has she?” I asked laughing, “She would come around to it a lot easier if you’d come live with me,” He said turning on to our street. The sight of the familiar street made my heart happy in a weird way. “And add fuel to our families attempts at marrying us off?” I asked. I watched the smirk stretch across his face, Tom found our parents inability to accept our friendship as what it was utterly hilarious, I, however, found every single attempt that they made to push us closer together completely humiliating. “Why ruin the habit of a lifetime?” He said as he parked perfectly in front of my house. I got out of the car in lieu of answering the question. I turned to head up the path my front garden, slowing my pace only slightly in order for Tom to catch up to me, and also because my feet were killing me in these heels. 

As I suspected, Tom appeared at my side within seconds and I sent him a bemused smile. I opened the door and headed inside. I kicked my heels off and turned around to hang my coat up, to find Tom still outside the door. I cocked my head at him in question. 

“What are you a vampire? Need an invite?” I asked. He didn’t laugh  

“You never actually said I could stay over,” He said in explanation, digging his feet in the dirt as if he actually expected me to deny him access to what I suspected has become like a second home to him too. He really was a perfect gentleman. 

“Come in, you fucking idiot”. I laughed. “You better not hog the blanket this time”

#Tom Holland #TomHolland #Fanfiction #Bestfriends #FLuff #Cute #Tom #Holland #TomHollandFanfiction

[stardancerluv]

Bitter Tears, Forever Love

Part One

Summary/Arthur’s note: a while back, I fell hard for Ray Stussy & Nikko Swango. 🥺😍 I just love them, and they break my heart. I wanted to so much more for them. Here is the first part of one way, I’d give them more time...this is AU...with its roots ground in the world of the show. Bolded - Real dialogue from the show and the documentary March of the Penguins.

Emmit.

Emmit.

Ray. Fuck.

Ray.

Raymond.

Suddenly, he was above everything. “What the hell happned Emmit?” He went to shake his shoulder. He couldn’t touch him, his hand kept on slipping off. “What the hell? Emmit look at me...what is wrong with you?” He followed his brother’s gaze. “Oh...” He brought his hands to his mouth. “What the fuck happened?”

Closing his eyes, the last hours events played before his eyes. He crouch down beside his brother.

“Why couldn’t we have had our backs? We were brothers!” He yelled as the tears fell.”

A man, with a straight nose, walked down the few steps, into the apartment and walked around his body. He smiled as he came closer to him and Emmit. “Hello Ray.”

Ray looked at his brother and then at the man. He backed away, further against the wall. “Who are you?”

“Let’s just say I’m friendly go between. When you are with me you are between their world and mine.”

The man was of short stature, he had iron gray hair with smatterings of white as he talked to him, he folded his arms. “He’ll be fine in time, come on.” He beckoned to him. “There’s someone else you have to take care of.”

“Nikki.” He breathed. Pain, ripped through him. Though despite that, he got to his feet.

The man nodded. “Now listen, your love was something special.”

“We were simpatico.” He breathed. “Does it still have to hurt?”

“Well, you were not perfect Ray.” The man gave him a compassionate look before continuing. “And that is the downside of love, real love.”

He closed his eyes and inhaled. When he opened them, they were in a bowling ally. “Hey..wait a plumb second.” He looked around. “Where are we?” How had he ended up sitting on a creaky metal seat at a bar and bowling ally of all places.

“Let’s just say its a place of pause.” The man shrugged. “Would you like a drink?”

“I can have one?”

“Yeah.”

“Beer, please.”

The man smiled.

A tall, glass was slid in front of him. “This is ok?”

The man nodded.

Grabbing the glass, Ray opened his mouth the amber liquid slid into mouth. It was bubbly and crisp just the way he liked it.

He only took that sip before turning to the man. The chair was solid even though it sounded like it could collapse at any moment. “Is this life? Am I going to carry this anguish...this pain?”

“That is the nature of existence. Life is suffering.”

Ray nodded. Looking ahead of him. Bittersweet anguish filled him once, images of his time with Nikki came to him. That last moment, came to him. Why the damn, had he not kissed her goodbye?

Because the bravery, the strength he felt whenever he was around her had filled him. He had just known, he’d be back with her. He’d ease her pain. He hold her while she’d drift off watching some documentary about animals or insects. She loved watching those things.

He still remembered the smile that curled her lips, how bright her eyes were when he gave her the dvd of March of the Penguins. He’d give anything to be back at that lazy afternoon.

.....the emperor penguin decided to stay, to live and love in the harshest place on Earth.

Nikki, nestled closer to his side. His arms were draped around her delicate, curves that were all in the right places. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. The sweet, fruity scent of her shampoo filled his nose making him smile.

“I’d go to the ends of the earth to be with you, to take care of you, Nikki.”

She looked up at him and smiled. Her eyes shimmering. “Oh, Ray do you mean it?”

He nodded. “Yes.” He kissed her nose softly. Bringing a gentle giggle.

Meowwwwww.

Like that, it was gone. Though her giggle still echoed in his ear.

Focusing, a sweet little kitten sat where the beer had been. He smiled at it. The kitten, looked back at him, blinking a little.

Meeooowwww.

“Wow, your will is strong Ray.”

Ray jumped a little not realizing the man was still there. He was still confused about all of this.“Oh?” He didn’t feel strong, more like a rung out towel or a deflated balloon.

“You transported back into your memories.” The man smiled. “That is why I am giving you this chance. The love you two shared.”

“Could I do that again?” Ray raised an eyebrow.

“Not if you want to feel her touch, really feel her touch. I mean.”

“I’m confused.”

“Now, Ray. I need you to focus.”

“Alright.”

The kitten, laid down and rested its head on its paws. It still looked at him. Ray gave the kitten another warm smile, it was awfully cute.

“As I said earlier, you have to take care of someone.”

He nodded.

“In reality, the two of you were meant to be together quite a bit longer...”

“Nikki and I?”

The man nodded.

Tears filled his eyes again, he didn’t bother wiping them away. He let them fall down his cheeks.

“We can’t stop accidents. They happen. What happned to you Ray was one of those accidents.”

He nodded. The kitten reached out and padded at his tears that fallen onto the bar.

“So here is my proposal. I will let you go to her. I am certain, she will take you in.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

The man chuckled. It was not demeaning, it expressed a knowledge of the ages.

“She won’t see you as you are now. Though I am almost certain she will feel that its you.”

“So how do I do that?” He rested his head in his hands careful to not squish the kitten. He felt hopeless.

“You will become that kitten.”

“What? How?” He pulled back and looked at the man and then the kitten then back at the man.

“Right now you are a wandering soul.”

Ray, patted himself.

“A soul is what gives a body its substance so patting yourself, you will feel solid.”

“Oh..ok.”

The man continued. “I will allow you to go into this body, this kitten to keep an eye on her.”

“Any other options?” His brow furrowed. How could he protect as a kitten. A tiger...a lion not a kitten.

“You could continue in this state. You would be wandering, lost in memories till someone else decides you deserve a chance. By then she may no longer Nikki.“

“But how....I don’t even how..”

The man held up finger. “I take care of the particulars.”

Ray took a breath. “Then, yes....as beautiful as the memories are I need to be with her. I want to keep her safe.”

“Wise choice Ray.”

******

He shivered, blinking he looked up and saw the number thirty four on the door, it was so large. Looking, down he lifted one...then the other. It had all been true. He was now that kitten. He inhaled and exhaled, then shivered again. You’d think with that fur, he’d be warmer he thought.

How am I going to get in there? Looking up he noticed that she had propped the door open. Oh, she was gonna be a handful but then again, that’s why he had loved her.

He pushed the door open, then springing forward he managed to hop in before the door came to rest against the latch.

Where should he go, he mused. Spying the bed, he jumped up and then using his claws he climbed the rest of the way up. Once up, he saw that the blankets were still wrinkled and rumbled from her laying there.

Seeing, the alarm clock it had only been forty minutes since he had left. Wow, only that long, it had felt like a life time.

Going to the pillows, he sighed. They were still warm from her. Lost in the moment, he rolled against the warmth that lingered.

Hearing the door creak, he looked over and saw that she had returned with ice. He immediately sat up, proper till she would notice him. On the tv, was god awful looking insect. Before he could keep his mouth shut he let out a meow. Half of it was in disgust the other half instinctual fear that now was the part of him a cat. He immediately, looked over to where he last saw her.

Her face had grown pale, as mask of fear etched and contorted her fine features. Though they almost immediately softened as she looked down at him. He took a few steps toward her.

“Why hello there?” She reached out with hesitant fingers, just barely touching him before pulling back. “How did you get in here?”

He meowed. He was still annoyed that she propped open the door though he knew how she desperately needed that ice for her bruises.

“Oh! She whispered, turning she closed and locked the door. She smiled at him.

“Wanna keep me company while I wait for Ray to come back?”

He meowed again, he was growing sad again deapite being with her. Eventually, he would not return and the hope in her voice would fade.

“Alright, kitty come on over.”

She came around to the other side of the bed. After stuffing some fresh ice into the rubber pouch she had used earlier, she winced and made sounds that still killed him as she went to lay down. She finally came to rest against the pillows again.

He just sat there dumbfounded, looking at her.

“Well don’t sit so far away. If you’re gonna keep me company you have to be closer.”

He went over to her, staying on the side he had always favored.

Sighing, she smiled before gesturing to the tv. “We’ll watch this till he comes back. That should be any moment now.” Wincing she put the rubber pouch on a purple bruise that marred the gentle curve of her hip.

He was too nervous to lay down. He sat properly near her. Her finger tips just grazing him. “These are very informative you know. You can learn quite a bit watching documentaries.” He looked at her and then at the tv. How she could watch these particular insects was beyond him. But that was his girl. She loved it. So he’d watch them with her.

“You, know I think Ray will like ya. Maybe we will keep you.” He felt as her fingers touched him a little firmer, he leaned ever so lightly into her fingers. Before he knew what he was doing, a purr came from him. Her giggle filled the room. “Aw, I think I am growing fond of you too.” He held his breath with what she did next. Carefully, she placed him on her stomach, she looked at him closer. “I don’t see a collar. Do you need a family?” He meowed. She was softer then any pillow. “How could someone give you up?” He tilted his head as he looked at her and purred once again. A large smile spread across her face again.

Her attention was drawn back to the tv. He always enjoyed when she talked. Anything and everything that was on her mind, she’d tell him. She was always so impassioned about something.

@rosionis @brookisbi @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @dandycandy75

#fargo season 3 #ray stussy #ray stussy x nikki swango #ewan mcgregor #mary elizabeth winstead #nikki swango #fargo season 3 fanfiction #ray stussy x nikki swango imagine #part one #bitter tears forever love

[motleycrueroadie]

Along for the Ride

Figured that I would try my hand at writing. This is just more of an introduction to the scene rather than the character herself, but that will be coming soon enough. Based on The Dirt (2019). 

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They call New York the city that never sleeps, and as a stranger to the East Coast, I was inclined to deny the cliche when I first moved to the Sunset Strip. Initially it seemed like the Strip never slept, with the blaring neon lights of the bars and clubs. This combined with the music scene draws in the young crowds of those who entertain and those who are entertained. The Strip creates an allure to pull out those chasing dreams, but this allure soon vanishes come Monday to reveal only shadows. New York City remains the city that never sleeps, the Sunset Strip doesn’t sleep on the weekends. Given this, it only makes sense that just about everyone living here is chasing the high of the weekend, and then dragging themselves through the week. I love the weekend nightlife more than anything else, it separates the people I have to endure from the people who I want to be around. 

From the moment the clubs open on Friday until last call on Sunday night, which I guess is really early Monday, London gives me a chance to feel alive. As a band, London attracts the best of the Strip and I love every second of it. The high from being on stage is enough to envy every junkie out there. Jack nor coke can give me the same feeling that a dimly lit room, stuffed to the brim with bodies emitting pure heat and rock and roll could. I left Seattle, my mother Deanna and the revolving door of asshole boyfriends in search of this exact feeling. This is where I finally feel at home. However, there was one thing that ruined this high every time, London. Ironic, right?

London and the music worked fucking wonders, but the people in London are dog shit. The tension between myself and the rest of the band mates rivals that of an elastic band strung to the max. We are a ticking time bomb. Our almost daily band practice had finished today around 11:30, that was added on top of an 8 hour day at the Starwood and I felt exhausted. The walk home served as a moment of relaxation. Even though it was Thursday night, there were still people frequenting the bars; But the people were weekday regulars that live to drink, rather than those who drink to add to the experience of being alive. Though it seemed that there was not much life to the Strip, the diner up ahead, “Tiffany’s 24/7 Dine-In”, seemed as lively as it could get. I could hear it before I could see it. From the outside, the sound was somewhat muffled by the layer of glass, but I could make out Slow Ride by Foghat playing. Wasn’t entirely my style of music but it was close enough. As I begin to pass by the window, I glance in to see why it was so loud. 

The only person that occupied the entire dining room was a girl, suited in a dress I could only assume was a uniform, buffing the floors. It was not my intention to stop and stare, and I honestly could not decipher what was so intriguing about her, but I am completely stopped in my tracks to take her in. She was shorter than myself, but was not swallowed by the fabric she wore, filling it out in what I might call “all the right places”. The most encapsulating part about her was the lightness with which she moved while controlling a machine that could jolt even the most steady people. She swayed the machine lightly back and forth across the floors, while nodding her head along to the beat. I can slightly make out her voice singing along to the words with ease. Suddenly, she looked up at me out the window and it startled me, I felt caught. Her face turned upwards into a smirk and she jutted out her chin while nodding at me, giving a sign of acknowledgement. For whatever reason, I took this as an invitation to come into the diner. The music struck me with a certain intensity as she yelled, “Sorry about that! Have a seat wherever you like and I’ll turn that down and be with you in just a second!” 

 Her voice was steady and held a certain feather light feeling, the same as her movements did, and I just wanted to hear it again. I stepped over the cord attached to the buffer and slid into the booth facing the bar, watching her stretch to reach the volume dial on the radio atop a sliding door refrigerator.

She glided around the bar, swiping a menu from a shelf hidden from my vision and smiled up at me, “Welcome to Tiff’s, can I get you something to drink while you have a look at the menu?”

“Would a Jack and Coke be acceptable to serve on a Thursday night?” I asked, not because I needed her opinion on my drinking habit, but because I wanted to keep hearing her voice.

“Are you asking me whether I find the consumption of alcohol on a weekday moral, or if this establishment serves on a Thursday?” she replied, hand on her hip while leaning against the coat rack extending from the booth. 

“Humour me with both.” I smirked, relaxing back into the seat having finally found my rhythm with her. The next answer she gave would gauge whether or not I continue to push her buttons. 

“Tiff’s, like most other diners, will serve you morning, noon and night any day of the week” she started, “and as for myself, I think booze is far too much fun to contain to the weekend. Only pussies and prudes save drinking for two days of the week” She seemed to mean this despite the humour in her voice, and I was thoroughly pleased with her answer. 

“Mija! Watch your language with the customers!” spoke a voice from behind the server’s window. She chuckled a little, before turning to the window and calling out “Carlos, I always gauge my audience!” A shorter tan man popped his head up from behind the window before disappearing again, “I see what you mean. Carry on!” She turned back to me with a smile on her face, “Don’t take offence to that. You’re just not married with kids or above the age of 60, so I’ve lost my filter. Is that a problem?” 

“Not at all” I said while shaking my head, and she took that as her cue to start grabbing my drink. Returning, with it in her hand she slid into the booth opposite me and asked, “Anything on the menu caught your eye?” I shook my head again and began to hand her the menu, “Just the drink will be fine for tonight.” She gave an appreciative nod, before leaving to grab the cord for the buffer cord out of the wall. 

“Can I put you down for an order of solitude to go with your JC or are you interested in conversation?” She called out from the other side of the diner, but before I had the chance to answer she continued “Cause I can ramble for at least 10 JCs!” Taking a sip, I leaned further into the booth to give her the impression I needed to appreciate the options when I knew exactly what I wanted to say. She continued to wrap up the cord around the buffer, leaving it in its spot and glancing up at me in anticipation of my answer. 

“Conversation. But if you become too annoying I’ll put a 5 on the table and take off”  continuing to push her buttons, seeing if she could take it and dish it out. 

“Fair enough,” and with that she slid back into the booth. 

“Start with your name” she told me rather than asked. 

“Why can’t I have yours?” I asked, realising I had not even bothered to glance at her name tag. It read Janis Jade. She caught me reading, “Cause you just read it off my chest but I don’t have that luxury.” Shrugging my shoulders, I said “Nikki Sixx,” I hadn’t seen the smile leave her face since we caught eyes in the window, but it grew wider and I thought she might have recognized me so I prepared for a slew of questions and rambling to follow. 

“That’s the sickest fucking name I’ve ever heard, and I know for a god damn fact you picked it out yourself” she glowed as she spoke with an infectious amount of genuine enthusiasm. I nodded, chuckling as I did so. 

“Let me guess, you’re named after the infamous Janis Joplin” I smirked as I took a drink. She screwed her eyebrows together, almost offended. 

“How old do you think I am Sixx?” she asked, again I shrugged shoulders. “I had my name prior to Miss Joplin’s rise to fame, but my parent’s wore shit eating grins everyday about my name after she started getting big.” I nodded along to her story, somehow knowing I was in for a good conversation. 

For the next two hours, we swapped tales and although she did most of the talking, I was glad to sit back and listen. She wasn’t wrong when she said she could talk for at least 10 JCs. Janis was full of life and everything I absolutely wasn’t and I couldn’t help but want to know more. I realized that I needed to be heading out, so I began rummaging in my jacket for my wallet. She saw this, and I stopped for a second as I remembered my earlier comment, “Trust me doll, you’re not annoying me but I should be heading out.” She nodded understandingly, “No worries Sixx, you want me to grab your change?” I shook my head at her, and started getting out of the booth. “Your shift done soon? I can walk you home.”

She smiled, “I’m here until 7am but thank you for the offer.” As I began to walk out, I paused while pushing on the door handle, “I hope to see you around Joplin.” She smiled from where she stood, “Don’t worry Sixx, you will” and gave me a two fingered salute before returning to where the buffing machine had sat for the last two hours. I returned home with a new found appreciation for the little diner on the Strip. 

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Thank you for reading! If you’re interest, here’s the Next Chapter 

#the dirt fanfiction #douglas booth!nikki sixx #motley crue