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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 year

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New Rule: The Cojones Awards - Real Time with Bill Maher

New Rule: Great news about a new award show. Listen to this. About a year and a half ago, I was asked to moderate a discussion at the home of a very prominent Hollywood producer. And the attendees that night was a who's who of A-listers and stars. If a bomb went off in that room, there'd be nothing on TV next year but, well, let's just say it would be a great year for Kevin Sorbo. I can't say exactly who was there, but if there really is a Jewish space laser, these guys have the codes.

Anyway the subject we all wanted to talk about that night was cancel culture. It's funny. If this was 10 years ago, this group would have been talking about censorship from the right. Back then it was the Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons, the Bill Bennetts and Rush Limbaughs who kept us up at night. I mean besides the cocaine. The book banners and boycotters then were Republicans, like the ones that got me fired after 9-11.

But that's in the past now. And by the past, I mean Florida. And of course not just Florida, today's Republicans have shown that when it comes to canceling they're still more than capable. They canceled Colin Kaepernick for taking a knee, Liz Cheney for defying Trump, Kathy Griffin for performance art. Just last week the redneck royalty of the music world threw a hissy fit because they think Anheuser-Busch is turning their beer gay.

But there's no getting around the fact that what was on the mind of the Liberals that night in Brentwood, or wherever we may have been, was that the most powerful witch hunters now were coming from Twitter, the Ivy League and the progressive left. JK Rowling used to be a villain to the right because she wrote books about witchcraft. Now she's a villain to the left because she has the crazy belief that there's more to being a woman than pronouns and lipstick.

So, that was the point of the evening: how do we take a stand against cancel culture? And I suggested since we were mostly all in show business that we start an award show to honor the brave people who have fought back. Well, I got to tell you, the idea was met with great enthusiasm by everyone, and in short order different people were suggesting the ways that their varied talents could be put to use. And then of course, being Hollywood, nothing happened.

But it's still a good idea. So I'm gonna do it, right here, right now. And not only that, we're gonna do it every year. Ladies and gentlemen, you know the Emmys, you know the Grammys, you know the Tonys, now say hello to the Cojones.

Thank you and welcome to the Cojones. I'm your Master of Ceremonies, and if you're triggered by the word "master" you're in the wrong room. Tonight we present these solid brass balls to the individuals and organizations who others have tried to silence and who answered, "that's not a rule, fuck you."

Our first award goes to the president of my alma mater, Cornell University: Martha Pollock. This month students there demanded trigger warnings before all the lectures in case any of the adult subjects you specifically went to college to learn about came up. And Martha said, "yeah, no, we're not doing that." She didn't cave in or hire a new Dean of Sensitivity. She just said, "no college is for introducing you to new ideas, not for kissing your ass and making you feel wonderful and always right." You're thinking of brunch with your parents. I'm just amazed at how this generation can simultaneously be too sensitive for anything distasteful, and somehow also so into eating ass. So, Cornell, I present you with these balls. I sure could have used them when I was there.

Our next award goes to the place where many Cornell grads will be working next year: Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's, who for years have been selling a line of ethnically themed products trading on the name Joe. For example, they have Trader José's beer. So of course one teenager on Twitter heard the word "José" and said it was racist, and then there was a petition, and then Trader Joe's management did the right thing. They burnt down all their stores and killed themselves. No, they didn't. They said "fuck off you oversensitive little shits, get a life and a sense of humor," and released this statement: "We disagree that any of these labels are racist and we do not make decisions based on petitions." You see how easy it is? So, to the home of the 19 cent banana, here have some nuts.

This next Cojone goes to a man who's dear to my heart for standing up for stand-up. When dozens of Netflix employees walked out over Dave Chappelle's reckless decision to perform comedy on his comedy special, CEO Ted Sarandos could have pulled the special and replaced it with more episodes of "Who Wants to Watch Koreans Get Killed?" But instead he reminded his Netflix employees that comedy exists to push boundaries, and told them, "If you'd find it hard to support our content breath, Netflix may not be the best place for you." So for making the phrase "don't let the door hit you in the ass" never sound better, this is for you Ted.

And you know, when movie lovers get together these days, one phrase that comes up a lot and always makes me sad, "is yeah, you couldn't make that one today." Top of that list is the great "Tropic Thunder" which these scolds have been after for years. But in February, Ben Stiller tweeted, "I make no apologies for Tropic Thunder. It's always been a controversial movie since when we opened. Proud of it and the work everyone did on it." See, people? It's not that hard. He said it and he still got a commercial.

And the lesson is, if you stand up to the mob for just a day or two, their shallow, impatient, immature, smartphone-driven gerbil minds will forget about it and go on to the next nothing-burger, and you? You still will have your Cojones.

It takes cojones to speak "truth to power." Which tells you where the power really resides.

P.S. I thought he was embellishing the Trader Joe's story, but no, it was literally one triggered teenager.

This language is textbook Postcolonial Theory, not the language of a teenage kid. It's the language of a parishioner reciting the sacred scriptures. (Or perhaps an activist parent feeding them lines.)

#Bill Maher #New Rule #Real Time with Bill Maher #cancel culture #online mob #Netflix #Cornell University #Martha Pollock #trigger warnings #Ted Sarandos #The Cojones #award shows #Tropic Thunder #Ben Stiller #Trader Joe's #Trader José #never apologise #uncancelable #religion is a mental illness

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achillesmonochrome · 2 years

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You know? While is most probably true that the reason the owl house got cancelled was because all the gay representation, I had seen people who actually resent lumity because “it killed the show”

And look, I am not going to say lumity is the entire reason the show is asom (my focus may be ships but believe me I had been gushing with other people about this show’s strenghts since episode 1) or the show would be ruined if they waited until the last episode, but it still part of the reason is so special, and I’m dying on that hill.

It took me forever to watch the show for personal reasons, and while at some point I thought of watching the series and blocked the tag, even then I heard how lumity was canon.

At first, I believed it was what other shows had done; have something that could read as romantic (like blushing or similar) and people were happy because is not like we could get anything else until a finale (if lucky), right?

So when I started the show I knew about the ship, but didn’t think it would go deep enough that I wouldn’t need to make headcanons and fanfics to compensate.

We go to prom, where we get the confirmation that Amity wanted to ask Luz out, and I was surprised they went that way, but I still thought “Well, it could be interpreted as she wanted to go with her a friend, that reason could make it ambigious enough that no one would raise a fit”

Look, don’t get me wrong, I know how hard so many people working on certain shows had worked on getting the slightest of crumbs, and how normally they needed to fight to get a confirmation in the finale. I was there when Korra aired the final season, and how while the ending was sweet, it was ambigious enough the creators needed to confirm it online (And somehow still got the scene taken away in some places? Is ridiculous)

So I thought that was all I was ever going to get, at least for now; and I accepted that.

Then we go to the next episode and I am like “holy shit this is gay panic and there is absolutely no other explanation for it, they aren’t playing the subtle card anymore”

I was shocked; I grew up with crumbs of representation, and that is not even getting into the fact that the first confirmed gay characters I knew were so riddled with stereotypes I could not find any comfort and famiriality in them.

And seeing Amity made a mess of herself (which not gonna lie, reminded me way too much when I was 13 and crushing hard on a girl) meant the world to me, hell, still means the world to me.

While watching the show I couldn’t stop thinking how much this would had meant to me when I was younger; the enviroment I grew up wasn’t very open minded, and I still remember how that night it finally clicked that I wasn’t cishet, my first thought was that I needed to fix myself.

Even if I can’t make my younger self feel better about who we are, the fact that kids now have this is still a lot. They would see Amity and Luz, unapologetically in love, have Raine use they/them pronouns, being respected for who they are without an ounce of doubt, Willow’s dads being as normal as the weather; and know that they, is okay.

And part of it would had been lost if they had waited until the finale.

Sure, it would still have Luz and Amity together, but I know for experience, is not the same have yourself hoping, dreaming that this character you love is like you, than having them be stated like that way early, and not only know that, but see them do the same things you do, and how no one thinks is weird.

Is not like having the characters be together is a only same-sex thing; it wasn’t exactly homophobia why Star and Marco weren’t dating until the end, or how Miraculous has 4 seasons and they are still not dating.

But while those pairings are way obvious, most of the time same-sex things get stuff muddled, subtle, to the point people would deny it until the very end.

(Hell I still remember when Sapphire and Ruby were show for the first time in Steven Universe, and people were insisting they were sisters and nothing else)

Again, not throwing shade to SU staff (for this one at least) and other creators, because I can only imagine how hard it was to fight for those tihngs.

However, it doesn’t change how amazing is to have this.

I was thinking about it while rewatching Labyrinth Runners. I like Huntlow, and if you look close enough you can see little seedlings here and there, but nothing concrete enough, and yes, I had seen people say how shippers are misreading signals; same old fandom drama.

But that hit me with a realization: If there was any creator, or any other team, this would had been the opposite.

Huntlow would be the blatantly obvious, while Lumity would have minimal blushes or gestures. The fact that this isn’t the case makes me extremely happy.

Even if the show could had gotten four season with lumity at the finale, Raine either being a guy or somehow avoiding their pronounds until the very end (if not erase them compledtly) and Willow’s dads maybe being the only thing to exist; I don’t think this show wouldn’t be as dear to me if it wasn’t making my child self feel seen.

So, even if I am sure no one from the team would ever see this: Thank you Dana, and everyone else in the crew, for making this happen.

#the owl house #toh #lumity #raine whispers #babbling #I am not expecting to make too much sense here

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tavarillasgalen · 4 months

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Not sure what it says about me that I used to live for media that was like "ugh, of course it was a MAN who caused these problems" and "people should absolutely feel guilty for what people they may not even have any relation to did hundreds of years ago and Repent for it" and "omg this person didnt know about this obscure identity/sexuality, they're SUCH a bigot!!!!"

and now I read stuff like that and I'm just like... c'mon now. This is ridiculous.

99% sure it's just maturing, lol. And also distancing myself from people who would say things like (in all seriousness too, like... they were not joking in the slightest) that they hate "lighteyes" and strangers not immediately knowing your pronouns are something like ze/zem is beyond hateful. And having your "friends" say things like white cis women are the root of all evil, but then if you, as a white cis woman, are hurt or confused by why they are even friends with you then, that's you being racist and trying to make the world revolve around you instead of genuine like... if you hate people like me so much, why am I even in your life. And not being able to say anything, because no matter what, you were always "talking over" someone else, and you doing anything was "taking up space that should be given to someone else!!!" so i felt so guilty for wanting to pursue my dreams and wanting any sort of success because that meant i was "taking it away" from someone else. and there was always this unspoken competition among them all of who had it worse.

Like, after being in circles like that, and seeing how people take literally anything as a sign of hate, it made my anxiety go insane. Because I KNEW there are many people out there who would be like, omg, this person didnt look at me when we passed each other on the sidewalk, they're so bigoted!!! They think they're so much better than me, how awful!!! Omg, this person smiled at me when passing me on the sidewalk, they're trying SO HARD to seem like such a good ally, how fake!!! And like. You would think, with the ridiculous of that, that I'm exaggerating. But I'm not, in the slightest. That's what those far left people are like. Anything can be used as an example of sexism, of racism, of queerphobia, of literally anything.

And just, after distancing myself from that, I realized just how much I too had fallen prey to that mindset of being a perpetual victim and thinking anything ever was because of me. This person being short with me was OBVIOUSLY because of sexism, there's no way it could be because that person was just having a bad day!!

And then the longer its been since you've been around people like that, the more you realize just how... absurd that is. Like, sure, could someone be short with me because I'm a woman and they think women are stupid and overly emotional and exaggerate everything? Sure. But it's far more likely that if someone is short with me, it's because they've got their own things going on. And also, I could have done something or said something that was annoying or taken the wrong way.

Like, I'm not a conservative. But the conservatives are 100% right when they talk about how narcissistic that mindset is, to assume that anything ever has to do with you and anything that doesn't go how you want is a personal attack.

And like. It's a good thing to want positive change. But if you think even the slightest perceived transgression means that a person hates you and isn't actually on your side and they must be canceled and have their life ruined, like... you're doing far more harm than good, lol.

I WISH this post was an exaggeration. But this is genuinely what those "friends" were like. And I'm so glad I cut them off, lol. And I'm glad I stopped thinking the way they did because I was so angry and so exhausted and so guilty (for the color of my skin and the fact that I'm cis - neither of which are things i have any control over whatsoever) 24/7. Being a constant victim and taking everything personally/as a sign of an -ism or -phobia does absolutely nothing to help you and only ever keeps you miserable.

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cryptidzatitagain · 2 years

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Day 4 (Four)

Trans Pride

Characters: “Kit/Kitty [last name not decided yet | Wacky World (Name of work may change)], Nicoren [no last name in canon | Disaster Crew], Alyssa [last name not decided yet | SHOA], & Gene [last name not decided yet | SHOA]”

[Image Description: There are four characters in the image. The one in the top left corner is a Demiboy who likes to be called either Kit or Kitty (both are fine for them) Who has asexual pride shoes and omni fingerless fishnet gloves. Kit also wearing a trans pride t shirt and is obviously not a human as they have large cat like ears that are gray, turning darker at the tips and a fluffy cat tale that has a white tip with the rest of the tail being of a gray tabby pattern. They are Caucasian with eyes that are supposed to be green with fluffy red hair.

Nicoren from Day 3 (three) is at the top right part of the image. He is upside down, using his legs to hand from a branch. He is wearing a black croptop. You can see the thing that has to be a tattoo that is supposed on the inside of his lower right arm but I will admit that I mistakenly put it on the wrong arm.

On the bottom left is a woman named Alyssa who has long wavy, blonde hair and light brown eyes. She is wearing a trans pride sweater.

On the bottom center is someone who is named Gene, who has striking blue-green eyes and wavy black hair that does down to where the neck attaches to the torso. They are wearing a privacy mask with noise cancelling headphones that have two mics on them so you can still hear certain noises. The headphones have one yellow side (Gene’s right) and one magenta side (Gene’s left). Gene has vaguely tanned skin.]

[Text in Image: ‘Kit’ or ‘Kitty’; he/them (Kitty’s Pronouns); Nicoren; he/him (Nicoren’s pronouns); Alyssa; she/her (Alyssa’s Pronouns); Gene: they/them (Gene’s Pronouns); June 4th (fourth); Trans Pride]

You have already heard about Nicoren so I shall talk about the other catboy, Kit. Kit has always been on the shy side, but observant. For a long time, He didn’t realize he was trans but now that he knows, he is a lot happier. He has his small group of friends and is happy about it.

Alyssa has triplet who is still alive and one that isn’t. She is now the oldest sibling, she has the unique ability to transform parts of her body into weapons. Though she doesn’t do ranged weapons as she would need ammo, and would rather not lose her teeth. She is definitely an extravert but is very anxious about a lot of things.

While Gene can in fact hear and quite well, they are selectively mute. But this doesn’t limit their ability to communicate as they can easily make a connection to other people’s minds, thus allowing them to telepathically communicate with people, this is only part of their abilities as the main one they use is the ability to change how people are processing the environment or see someone’s worst fear. Essentially, they can make someone see them as a blonde while another thinks they have bubblegum pink skin all with Gene’s mind. Because most people don’t work on building a defense against people with telepathic abilities, it doesn’t take long for Gene to be able to perceive their thoughts. They thought that they could (theoretically, they never did this, because why should they) manipulate everyone into either worshiping them or not be able to perceive them that was until they met Flynn. To this day, Gene can’t do anything to Flynn. Which is exactly why Gene became close friends with Flynn, because they did NOT want to be enemies or rivals with someone they can’t read the mind of.

Image drawn on June 4th (fourth) or 6/4/2022.

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aideshou · 3 years

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I’m not CIS

don’t label me :)

I’m not part of your labeling party that literally only exists to make you feel good about your own self

#why you wanna be a girl so bad but then hate on actual girls? tsk tsk #and tbh you’re just making it easier to offend you since you need labels to survive ok #if I see someone who is transgender I am literally going to walk in the other direction #not because they shouldn’t live or they disgust me #but because if I use the wrong pronoun I may be cancelled by people I don’t know 😂#sorry I don’t want to live in ur pathetic ‘p00r Me’ world #do whatever you want

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littlemixnet · 3 years

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To me, a good ally is someone who is consistent in their efforts – there’s a difference between popping on a pride playlist or sprinkling yourself in rainbow glitter once a year and actually defending LGBT+ people against discrimination. It means showing my LGBT+ fans that I support them wholeheartedly and am making a conscious effort to educate myself, raise awareness and show up whenever they need me to. It would be wrong of me to benefit from the community as a musician without actually standing up and doing what I can to support. As someone in the public eye, it’s important to make sure your efforts are not performative or opportunistic. I’m always working on my allyship and am very much aware that I’ve still got a lot of unlearning and learning to do. There are too many what I call ‘dormant allies’, believing in equality but not really doing more than liking or reposting your LGBT+ mate’s content now and again. Imagine if that friend then saw you at the next march, or signing your name on the next petition fighting for their rights? Being an ally is also about making a conscious effort to use the right language and pronouns, and I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle who spoke of her annoyance and disappointment of those who come out and are met with ‘We love you…no matter what’. I’d never thought of that expression like that before and it really struck a chord with me. ‘No matter what’ suggests you are flawed. Being LGBT+ is not a flaw. Altering your language and being conscious of creating a more comfortable environment for your LGBT+ family and friends is a good start. Nobody is expecting you to suddenly know it all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect ally. I’m still very much learning. Even recently, after our Confetti music video I was confronted with the fact that although we made sure our video was incredibly inclusive, we hadn’t brought in any actual drag kings. Some were frustrated, and they had every right to be. You can have the right intentions and still fall short. As an open ally I should have thought about that, and I hadn’t, and for that I apologise. Since then I’ve been doing more research on drag king culture, because it’s definitely something I didn’t know enough about, whether that was because it isn’t as mainstream yet mixed with my own ignorance. But the point is we mess up, we apologise, we learn from it and we move forward with that knowledge. Don’t let the fear of f**king up scare you off. And make sure you are speaking alongside the community, not for the community. Growing up in a small Northern working-class town, some views were, and probably still are, quite ‘old fashioned’ and small-minded. I witnessed homophobia at an early age. It was a common thought particularly among men that it was wrong to be anything but heterosexual. I knew very early on I didn’t agree with this, but wasn’t educated or aware enough on how to combat it. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and within that space I had many LGBT+ (mainly gay) friends. I’ve been a beard many a time let me tell you! But it was infuriating to see friends not feel like they could truly be themselves. When I moved to London I felt incredibly lonely and like I didn’t fit in. It was my gay friends (mainly my friend and hairstylist, Aaron Carlo) who took me under their wing and into their world. Walking into those gay bars or events like Sink The Pink, it was probably the first time I felt like I was in a space where everyone in that room was celebrated exactly as they are. It was like walking into a magical wonderland. I got it. I clicked with everyone. My whole life I struggled with identity – being mixed race for me meant not feeling white enough, or black enough, or Arab enough. I was a ‘tomboy’ and very nerdy. I suppose on a personal level that maybe played a part in why I felt such a connection or understanding of why those spaces for the LGBT+ community are so important. One of the most obvious examples of first realising Little Mix was having an effect in the community was that I couldn’t enter a gay bar without hearing a Little Mix song and watching numerous people break out into full choreo from our videos! I spent the first few years of our career seeing this unfold and knowing the LGBT+ fan base were there, but it wasn’t until I got my own Instagram or started properly going through Twitter DMs that I realised a lot of our LGBT+ fans were reaching out to us on a daily basis saying how much our music meant to them. I received a message from a boy in the Middle East who hadn’t come out because in his country homosexuality is illegal. His partner tragically took their own life and he said our music not only helped him get through it, but gave him the courage to start a new life somewhere else where he could be out and proud. There are countless other stories like theirs, which kind of kickstarted me into being a better ally. Another standout moment would be when we performed in Dubai in 2019. We were told numerous times to ‘abide by the rules’, which meant not promoting anything LGBT+ or too female-empowering (cut to us serving a four-part harmony to Salute). In my mind, we either didn’t go or we’d go and make a point. When Secret Love Song came on, we performed it with the LGBT+ flag taking up the whole screen behind us. The crowd went wild, I could see fans crying and singing along in the audience and when we returned it was everywhere in the press. I saw so many positive tweets and messages from the community. It made laying in our hotel rooms s**tting ourselves that we’d get arrested that night more than worth it. It was through our fans and through my friends I realised I need to be doing more in my allyship. One of the first steps in this was meeting with the team at Stonewall to help with my ally education and discussing how I could be using my platform to help them and in turn the community. Right now, and during lockdown, I’d say my ally journey has been a lot of reading on LGBT+ history, donating to the right charities and raising awareness on current issues such as the conversion therapy ban and the fight for equality of trans lives. Stonewall is facing media attacks for its trans-inclusive strategies and there is an alarming amount of seemingly increasing transphobia in the UK today and we need to be doing more to stand with the trans community. Still, there is definitely a pressure I feel as someone in the public eye to constantly be saying and doing the right things, especially with cancel culture becoming more popular. I s**t myself before most interviews now, on edge that the interviewer might be waiting for me to ‘slip up’ or I might say something that can be misconstrued. Sometimes what can be well understood talking to a journalist or a friend doesn’t always translate as well written down, which has definitely happened to me before. There’ve been moments where I’ve (though well intentioned) said the wrong thing and had an army of Twitter warriors come at me. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously more serious levels of f**king up that are worthy of a cancelling. But it was quite daunting to me to think that all of my previous allyship could be forgotten for not getting something right once. When that’s happened to me before I’ve scared myself into thinking I should STFU and not say anything, but I have to remember that I am human, I’m going to f**k up now and again and as long as I’m continuing to educate myself to do better next time then that’s OK. I’m never going to stop being an ally so I need to accept that there’ll be trickier moments along the way. I think that might be how some people may feel, like they’re scared to speak up as an ally in case they say the wrong thing and face backlash. Just apologise to the people who need to be apologised to, and show that you’re doing what you can to do better and continue the good fight. Don’t burden the community with your guilt. When it comes to the music industry, I’m definitely seeing a lot more LGBT+ artists come through and thrive, which is amazing. Labels, managements, distributors and so forth need to make sure they’re not just benefiting from LGBT+ artists but show they’re doing more to actually stand with them and create environments where those artists and their fans feel safe. A lot of feedback I see from the community when coming to our shows is that they’re in a space where they feel completely free and accepted, which I love. I get offered so many opportunities to do with LGBT+ based shows or deals and while it’s obviously flattering, I turn most of them down and suggest they give the gig to someone more worthy of that role. But really, I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place. The fee for any job I do take that feels right for me but has come in as part of the community goes to LGBT+ charities. That’s not me blowing smoke up my own arse, I just think the more of us and big companies that do that, the better. We need more artists, more visibility, more LGBT+ mainstream shows, more shows on LGBT+ history and more artists standing up as allies. We have huge platforms and such an influence on our fans – show them you’re standing by them. I’ve seen insanely talented LGBT+ artist friends in the industry who are only recently getting the credit they deserve. It’s amazing but it’s telling that it takes so long. It’s almost expected that it will be a tougher ride. We also need more understanding and action on the intersectionality between being LGBT+ and BAME. Racism exists in and out of the community and it would be great to see more and more companies in the industry doing more to combat that. The more we see these shows like Drag Race on our screens, the more we can celebrate difference. Ever since I was a little girl, my family would go to Benidorm and we’d watch these glamorous, hilarious Queens onstage; I was hooked. I grew up listening to and loving the big divas – Diana Ross (my fave), Cher, Shirley Bassey, and all the queens would emulate them. I was amazed at their big wigs, glittery overdrawn make-up and fabulous outfits. They were like big dolls. Most importantly, they were unapologetically whoever the f**k they wanted to be. As a shy girl who didn’t really understand why the world was telling me all the things I should be, I almost envied the queens but more than anything I adored them. Drag truly is an art form, and how incredible that every queen is different; there are so many different styles of drag and to me they symbolise courage and freedom of expression. Everything you envisioned your imaginary best friend to be, but it’s always been you. There’s a reason why the younger generation are loving shows like Drag Race. These kids can watch this show and not only be thoroughly entertained, but be inspired by these incredible people who are unapologetically themselves, sharing their touching stories and who create their own support systems and drag families around them. Now and again I think of when I’d see those Queens in Benidorm, and at the end they’d always sing I Am What I Am as they removed their wigs and smudged their make up off, and all the dads would be up on their feet cheering for them, some emotional, like they were proud. But that love would stop when they’d go back home, back to their conditioned life where toxic heteronormative behaviour is the status quo. Maybe if those same men saw drag culture on their screens they’d be more open to it becoming a part of their everyday life. I’ll never forget marching with Stonewall at Manchester Pride. I joined them as part of their young campaigners programme, and beforehand we sat and talked about allyship and all the young people there asked me questions while sharing some of their stories. We then began the march and I can’t explain the feeling and emotion watching these young people with so much passion, chanting and being cheered by the people they passed. All of these kids had their own personal struggles and stories but in this environment, they felt safe and completely proud to just be them. I knew the history of Pride and why we were marching, but it was something else seeing what Pride really means first hand. My advice for those who want to use their voice but aren’t sure how is, just do it hun. It’s really not a difficult task to stand up for communities that need you. Change can happen quicker with allyship.

Jade Thirlwall on the power, and pressures, of being an LGBT ally: ‘I’m gonna f**k up now and again’

#jade thirlwall #lgbt

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atravisphilepsclicker · 3 years

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Hello! May I have Natsuki(DDLC) x fem!reader who comes out to Natsuki about using neopronouns and she's really supportive? I recently started using neopronouns and I'd love to see that if its ok :D -🌧

First of all, I loved this idea thanks for requesting it! And second, you weren't specific with what you wanted so I decided to do a headcanons hope you're okay w/ that!

Words: 411

Pronouns: none

Gender: female

Warnings: swearing

---------------------------------------------------------------

🧁Natsuki🧁

🧁when you came out to her it kinda confused her so she asked you to elaborate on what they are and how to use them probably. After you told her, she thanked you and stated that she will definitely use them because she accepts you and loves you as her girlfriend!

🧁after telling you that she asked if you wanted to tell the others or if you would want her to do it for you.

🧁if you said that you just weren't ready to tell anyone else yet then she would respect that and not push you to come out since she knows how hard it is to come out to someone.

🧁if you said you would better like it if she told the club for you. she would be cool about it but make sure she doesn't say anything bad/wrong beforehand. She would grab you and the other club members and once they got all together she would tell them that y/n want to use neopronouns and told them all about what they mean, how to use them etc.

🧁if you said that you wanted to tell them yourself she would tell you that she will be right by your side for support and make sure they use them correctly.

🧁she barely messes up after you told her but when she does she quickly fixes her mistake and moves on not wanting to make you uncomfortable by making it a big deal.

🧁has threatened multiple people if they refused to use your pronouns. Aka I will bite your dick off or I will rip off your fingernails one by one and feed them to you. Or just Strat up yells at them for being assholes, which has gotten her kicked out of places for making a scene.

🧁she is your biggest supporter, being your girlfriend n all

🧁she spends a lot of time online researching about neoprounouns, she soon bought you pride pins with your neopronouns on them.

🧁she'll try her best to comfort you if you feel down because people aren't using your pronouns. She'll bake your favourite baked good and buy you a bunch of your comfort food, cancel all plans for the day and just spend all her time with you. Meaning anime marathons all day and watching all of your comfort animes. She loves you and wants you to be happy, so she will not have her favourite person in the world being sad.

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Picture- https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/186195765834515911/

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Requests: Open

Hope you have a good day/afternoon/night and remember to stay hydrated! <3

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syalmazhafira17 · 3 years

Text

Ever Since New York

A/N: Hello! This is my first HS fanfiction for the Playlist Fic Challenge hosted by @harrystylescherry. I didn’t specified any Harry era, you could imagine any Harry era you want to! I think this is also a reader insert fanfic, but well, hopefully it does. The pronoun I use here is she/her. I know this is not the real meaning of the song, but the actual meaning of the song triggered me myself, I didn't like to write about it, I'm sorry. If there’s any mistakes, please let me know because English wasn’t my first language. And if you’d like to give me reviews or talk to me, you could absolutely do it! Happy reading! XOXO, Syalma

Word Count: 5.1k

TW: car accident

“I’ve been praying ever since New York” – Ever Since New York

Things started in a place. And for Harry, it was New York.

New York City might not be the most romantic city in general public, but for the Harry Edward Styles, the city is a gift for him. The sweetest memory started here, in the city. When every now and then the city was always busy, but he found comfort in the middle of it. Something he previously never thought to find about in this city.

///

He was just shuffling through the crowd in Times Square. It was at night in the busy hour. He was wrapped in a thick jacket and sunglasses, and everything was so packed, even people, and anyone barely notices him. Which he was thankful about, because it was already a tiring day for him in the studio. It’s already late in his opinion and all he wants is jump on his bed right away. Or maybe a cuddle, even, only if he has someone to cuddle.

The thought stuck in his head, and that night, God given him what he wishes quietly. He bumped into a girl in the Metro. The girl turned around, rising her eyebrow in confusion. When she saw him, she started to freak out. Her head already in a negative view. She step aside a little, giving a space between him and her. He wanted to mumble an apology, before realizing the girl already stepping away from him.

She looks like she’s a college student, he thought. And before he knew it, she snapped her eyes at him alarmingly. He knew she can’t see his eyes staring at her like a lost puppy found its owner, but it surely already makes way to her instinct.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and turned away, locking his eyes at the ceiling of the Metro track.

He didn’t know, that ever since that day, she will be stuck in his daydreams, and out of the blue, making way to his songs and writings.

Ever since the metro, she’s all he thinks about.

///

Their faith tied together again. It’s lunch time and they both met again in the restaurant.

She was looking around the place to find one single unoccupied chair. Her eyes fell on two, one in front of a smoking men and one in front of the curly-headed men. She hates the smoke, and for the sake of it, she makes her way through the table.

“Hello, I’m so sorry to disturb your lunch, may I sit here by any chance?” she asked. The men turned around. He looks right back at her, with bright green eyes and hazelnut curls on top of his head. A moment of silence as Harry regains back his memory of the Metro girl he bumped into.

“I’m so sorry, if you didn’t want to. I’ll find another seat,” she brought her tray away, walking to the opposite direction from the table.

“Hey, um, I didn’t mean to. You can- you can seat here,” he nodded, chewing his lips. He has been thinking about her for some times, once he already got the girl, he messed it up by just looking at her.

“Oh— thank you so much!” she smiled brightly as she turns back to the table and set down her food tray.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, before he speaks up after a war with his gut.

But she did it first.

“I’m sorry, but you look familiar, have I met you before?” she asked.

His mind glued at her until he forget to answer it until she cleared her throat in a code to snap him back to reality.

“Eh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, we’ve met before. In the Metro, the men bumping at you at busy hour,” he scratches the back of his neck, like he always do when he was nervous.

“New York is really a city of possibility. Who knows I bumped into Harry Styles on a Metro?” she laughed. Harry’s smile makes its way back to his face. There’s something about this girl he was very fond of.

“You know…me?” he asked in disbelief.

“Of course I do. Like everyone else. I’ve been a fan,” she nodded.

“You didn’t, don’t get me wrong, look like one,” he stared at her. He wanted to hear her way of saying ‘I do’ in front of their families and kissed in front of everyone. With him.

“Well, I am. Not all fangirl looks like they are a fan, aren’t we? But yeah, I’m a fan. Dying to get a quick snap of you, but I figured you will quickly find my phone’s camera lens as soon as I snap it, considering your sixth sense of it and me sitting only separated by a table, so that might not be a good idea. And yeah, maybe I look calm outside, don’t be tricked by it. I freaked out inside,” she laughed. There’s something about the way she talks that makes him mesmerized by it. He gulped down.

“Do you want a snap?” he offers. Her eyes look back at him in shock. She slowly nodded. She offers her phone, but he already pulled out his.

He snap their picture quickly before he sends it.

“Do you have an Apple product phone? So, it will airdrop?” he asked.

“Eh, no, I have an Android, but I have my iPad with me. Give me a sec,” she pulled out a device from her backpack. She turned it on and Harry sends the picture to it. He glances at the name of her device. y/n’s iPad. y/n. A name he will remembers.

Looking at him glancing at the name of her iPad, she suddenly realized.

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m y/n,” she offered her hand.

“Nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Harry,” he giggled.

“Hi Harry,” she said, in a soft tone, that makes him wanted to listen to it for the rest of his life. They both laughed and continued their food.

Ever since the restaurant, he wonders if their faith will collide once again.

///

“Hello, um, no, that’s…probably not a good tone, you have to use the perfect charming tone. Not too low, not too high, not too fast, not too slow. Hey. That’s too informal,” he chippers in front of his bathroom’s mirror.

He didn’t know how much luck he could get right now. He got her phone number, for some weird connection only God knows exist. She was one of his mates’ old friend. Her contact was buried beneath his’ phone for ages and he managed to pull that out of his contact and have the courage to save the number in his phone and gave the girl he met by coincidence a call in one fine Saturday night. And managed to croak out a question in the middle of his nervous state on that simple call.

And fast forward a week, here he is standing in front of the mirror, practicing his line over and over while his nervousness ripping him off little by little. He doesn’t know how he have this whole luck of her.

His phone suddenly rang, snapping him out of his thought and sprinting to his phone as quick as possible. He pulls up the green button after glancing at the caller’s ID.

“Hey, Harry,” she greeted. Her voice ran down his spine and gave him a comfort he never felt before with anyone else.

“Hello,” he said. A dead silence for a moment before she continued speaking.

“Um, I don’t know if I disturb you, I’m so sorry if I do, but I’ve been waiting for about 45 minutes, and I wonder if you will go on the date or cancel it? Because if you want to cancel it, then it’s okay. I’m just checking.”

Harry looking up at the clock on the wall. The clock showed him the time that felt like a slap at his face. And her soft voice asking him in concern make him regret his own feeling. He was supposed to be where she is now an hour ago, he planned on coming earlier than her to make a good impression, but now he’s late, like really late. There will be no way she’s going to forgive him nor agree to go on the second date with him.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, I– I just lost track of time, I’ll be there in a sec,” he stuttered. He push his phone to his pocket, ran to his keys, and flung himself to his Range Rover and hit the road as fast as the law allowed him to sped up.

He arrived in the span of 15 minutes from her phone call, panting and sweating, as well as nervous and panicking, scared to look at her face once she pulled up to the passenger’s side of his car. She raised an eyebrow before touching his bicep softly to distract him from his thoughts.

“Harry?” she asked. “Are you alright?”

“Uh- yeah, I’m okay,” he nodded quickly.

“You look pale and sweating,” she examined his face.

“I’m great, that’s just…my natural features,” he tumbled over his words. “Shall we go?”

“It’s okay if you’re not feeling good, I could just go home,” she looks at him with a concerned face.

There will be no way he will let her let out of his grasp. He was already in the edge of not getting her by forgetting the time, he won’t let her go home alone this time.

“I’m perfectly fine, we’ll go to one of my favorite restaurant,” he stated, the thought simply giving him a new pump of confidence.

“Oh, alright, we’ll go then,” she relaxed to the seat and buckled herself. He drives through the night glow of New York with Brooklyn Bridge and Miss. Liberty watching him. Watching quietly as Harry Styles trying his best to get the girl he dreamed of by picking up the rest of the pieces left about him in her that he already broke. And this city being the quiet paparazzi recording every step of him got the love of his life.

Ever since the date, he knew he will do anything to be with her.

///

He shifted in his sleep, making himself a little more comfortable, while scooting further to her arms. She wrapped her arms around his wide form graciously, mumbling something before inhaling his scent to soothe herself to go back to sleep.

They tangled together in her bed, sheets crumpling beneath their bodies. They didn’t need it anymore; each other’s warm presence was more than enough to keep them safe and sound in the summer night.

They have been official for a couple months now, 7 months to be precise, after him, being a nervous wreck having the courage to ask her to be his and his only. He was nervous, sweat covering his palm, and his voice trembling as he asks her. He doesn’t know how he did it, but he did end up driving home with her hand in his and a thin layer of her lipstick left on his lips. And when he got back to his own place, he screamed from the balcony to the busy road beneath, doesn’t even spare a glance at pedestrians looking up at him weirdly, or the fans started to clicking their cameras up secretly, or paparazzi recording him. In his mind, the world was just him and her.

His eyes flicker open, looking up to her, who sleeps peacefully. He stays there and just watching her breathing rhythm. He loves it when she got into peace like this, with no crease between her brows or an upset face painted on her beautiful face.

“Are you going to creepy stare at me forever or tell me what time it is?” she asked, her eyes still closed.

“Both, it’s around 1 in the morning darling,” he said sweetly, kissing her shoulder.

“Great! Now tell me everything you wanted to ramble on,” she said jokingly.

He knows she was joking, but he did anyways. He spoke up.

“I want babies, to cuddle! To squish their little chubby cheeks. How cute would that be? They will have green eyes and curly hair like I do, and they’ll have tiny smile that looks like yours! And we’ll squish their tiny faces and kiss them and we’ll spoil them with so much love and—and—and—Gucci!” he giggled after the word came out. Of course, Harry’s staple, Gucci, will be on the list of his babies.

“And we’ll put them in bear onesies I saw on Pinterest the other day! And we’ll paint the walls soft yellow, and we’ll get to cuddle them in our arms at night, and they will squirm in our arms, and when they wake up hungry in the middle of the night, I’ll come to them so you’ll sleep. And I can stop my work while they were little, could almost be packed in the suitcase I brought on tour! And when they got old enough, we’ll go around the world and they’ll meet a lot of people, will see the world in real life. And then…they’ll grow up,” he ended his ramble about babies in a sad face, realizing babies could grow up too, and they will not be so little anymore.

“And then, you’ll make more,” she ended the whole story for him.

“You? Why not— oh yeah, I’m sorry,” he looked down like a sad kitten. “We never talk about this before.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. We’ll be a little family, with babies like you want, yeah? Their little faces and cheeks, want to squish and kiss them already,” she fixed her words. He looked up at her again excitedly.

“And we’ll have kittens! Cute little fur balls in the couch!” he continued on.

He continues to talk about kittens. How cute they were, how many will they have, and how he will fed them.

“I love cats lots, but not as much as I love—” his eyes widen after he realized what he just said.

“I love…?” she didn’t have a single clue what he was about to say. And he was thankful for it. “Babies?” she guesses.

“No,” he shook his head.

“So…what?” she furrowed her eyebrows. “Working in the bakery?”

“You, I love you,” he finally decided to risk it all and said the three words that have been stuck in his mouth for the past months.

“I…Harry,” she said sternly.

“Yes?” he looked up at her like a scared kitten.

“Are you sure about those words?”

“With my whole heart, darling.”

“Like sure, sure?”

He nodded quietly.

“I love you, too,” she whispers right to his ears and kissed his pink lips.

His cheek and his nose flushed red. He couldn’t believe that he just did it.

Ever since that night, he knows he wants to spend evermore with her.

///

He was in LA again. Not staying in New York. It’s the fifth time he did it, with no preparation call, but just a quick text once he arrived. Leaving her confused for a moment before processing her boyfriend’s quick news. She was already living in his New York apartment he purchased for both of them, but he was barely there. At bright days, he spent it with his guitars, music, and studios, and at night he conquers the music industry concert. At weekends, he was busy to move around the world, too busy to text his girlfriend about his plan and whereabouts.

Today, she had enough of it. She stormed out of her class with angry fingers pressing the buttons of his number. Those all because he already sent the text ‘In LA babe, don’t wait x’. But who wants to wait for a week before he came back to NY, gave her a proper talk about his plan, and if he remembered about him having a girlfriend, plan on a date afterwards?

First call, doesn’t get answered. Second call, to voicemail after a few ringing. Third call, straight up to voicemail.

She grumbled beneath her breath, cursing, before trying again. On the last ring, he finally picks up.

“Hello, babe, have you gotten my text?” he asked.

“No, you come home tonight, or I’ll leave,” she said sternly. She doesn’t want to look scary by the people she met in the hallway, but her eyes says otherwise. But she didn’t care much. She cares about the fact that her lover just left her with a short text.

“Hey? What’s wrong with you?” his voice turned from bouncy and happy to a stern confused one.

“You’re the one that needed to be asked that way,” she scolded.

“Darling, I’m not going to be in the joke right now, I have some big stuff to do,” he frowned.

“OH, your girlfriend you just left in New York wasn’t a big stuff? Okay, don’t expect me to wait a week alone in that bloody apartment,” she huffed before hanging up as quick as possible, making sure she did it as he speak up explaining his problem.

He cursed underneath his breath when the call line got cut off. Jeff, reading his face, looked over.

“You okay, Harry?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah, just…y/n acting up,” he mumbled.

Jeff didn’t answer, he just nodded before speaking to someone on the other end of his own phone call. While Harry tried his best to not thinking about his upset (and alone) lover back in New York, he just…failed miserably. At the time the clock strikes midnight, he gave up to his feelings and book a ticket back to New York.

He got into the plane at 3 AM, bouncy and a nervous wreck. He was scared of what might y/n does. Breaking up? Almost a bit dramatic, but doesn’t make it zero possibility. Mad at him? She does now. No need to wonder. Leave the house? She probably plan to right now. Driving at midnight and blasting sad songs in her car? Not Harry’s type, but hey, y/n is y/n. She could be doing that at this very moment. Getting drunk in a dive bar with her college friends? She was barely past drinking age, and she doesn’t like alcohol much, but everyone seeks comfort when they fight with their significant others right? Stress eating on McDonald’s drive thru or eating a tub of ice cream, crying over a random TV Show? It’s nothing bad compared to other possibilities, but he doesn’t want to know it was because of him. Because in each possibility, he imagined her crying and mad at the same time.

And when he dropped his bag at their apartment, the first view he saw wasn’t a crying y/n, an empty house, a drunk version of his girl, or a girl crying with an ice cream tub or McDonald’s packaging. Instead, she curled up into a ball in the sofa, must have been fallen asleep at some point at night, blanket messily covering her figures, and the TV playing a random bad TV Show. He went immediately soft by the sight in front of him, but he quickly remembered about his problem.

He didn’t want to wake her up and as bad as he wanted to curl up in the sofa and scooping her in his chest (because he know she won’t even think twice to push away whoever cuddle her without her knowing) so he went to the bathroom and cleaning up himself a little before moving to kitchen and made some coffee.

She woke up 30 minutes later, squinting at the light before fully aware of other people existence in the apartment. Her hazy mind translates it as a stranger, but once he dropped a pan and cursing, she knew it was Harry.

She pushed her feet against the carpet and walked towards the kitchen.

“Oh sorry, sweetheart, did I wake you?” he asked.

“Care to come home, Styles?” she didn’t even bother to say hi or answer his question.

“Love…I’m sorry,” he plead.

“No, no, that’s okay. I’m pretty fine alone here, with no company, and with my non-existence physically boyfriend,” she said sarcastically. “He was busy being a company to everyone until he forgot to be a company for his own girlfriend.”

“I wasn’t…I’m sorry, can’t you forgive me? I texted you, I let you know where I am,” he argued.

“That’s okay if you don’t,” she said before taking out her cup and filled it with water carelessly. “I’ve had enough of you anyway.”

It hits Harry harder than he thought it intended to be, so he grabbed her wrist and forced her to look at him, even with a disgusted expression.

And that night, they ended up cuddling on the couch and watching The Notebook with a huge tub of Haagen-Dazs in the middle of them. Half finished, with two scoops stuck out.

Ever since that day, he knew and promised he didn’t want to hurt her in anyway.

///

“Are you Mr. Harry…?” someone at the other end of his phone called.

“Who are you? What are you doing with her phone?” he asked aggressively. He felt sick since he woke up this morning, all he wanted was her to cuddle up against his chest.

“I’m Doctor Alex, and I’m from Brooklyn Hospital Center, are you Harry, sir?” he asked once more.

“What happened to her?” his heart sinks. He didn’t even confirm his name.

“I need you to calm down, sir,” the doctor finally gave up, assuming by himself who he was talking to was really the Harry in the girl’s emergency contact.

“What happened to my y/n?” he asked, rushing out of his bed, threw the comforter off his body.

“I’m sorry to inform you this, but you are the emergency contact in this phone. The girl, the owner of this phone, has been in an effective car crash. No relatives or friends with her during the accident,” the doctor explained briefly. “She’s in coma.”

Harry didn’t answer. His heart sinks, his soul felt like just left his body, his stomach dropped, he froze in place, he couldn’t believe the news, he didn’t want to. He wanted to wake up. Maybe this is just a bad dream, and when he woke up he still has her safely tucked in his arm, and smiling at him. And she will kiss his stubble as he stirs from sleeping, and they will stay like that for 15 minutes before the band called him and yelling from the other line about ‘discipline’ and ‘you lovebirds should’ve kept a clock to see the time’.

He hung up his phone as quick as he could and threw himself to his car.

He drove through New York City street in full speed. He doesn’t care about the laws he broke, how many tickets he will get once a police officer caught him. His mind got clouded by the doctor’s words. This time, Brooklyn Bridge and Lady Liberty watch him, not aiming for a girl’s love, but to aim a hope she will be his forever, not with a tie of marriage, but…he doesn’t even want to think about it anymore.

He parked his car messily and sprint to the front table.

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles. I’m…the girl in the car crash, I want to see her,” his mind can’t even form a perfect sentence.

“Sorry sir, who are you to her?” she asked.

“I’m her…her…boy-husband!” he almost yelled. The nurse knew he wasn’t even her fiancé, but from the panic in his voice, trembling frame, and a mess he is, she finally let him.

When he met her, she was inside a glass room, he wasn’t even get to be in the same room as her. He just watched her breathing heavily with an oxygen tank, the only thing that kept him believing she is alive is the beeping loud noise of machines stuck on her body. She looks miserable, bruises all over her body, casts on her arm, bandages, she looks so…fragile. He just wanted to scoop her up into a hug and kiss her, tell her she’s going to be okay, they’re going to have babies like they always dreamed of. They will have their first house, they will watch their babies grew up as much as he hated the fact that babies will get older one day, they will be old people in their 70s, but she will be the most beautiful girl he has ever seen in her 20s. But he can’t right now, and he felt helpless.

It has been almost 7 hours since he arrived and he doesn’t even spend a second take his eyes off of his girl. Nothing progresses much, but he knew she has to survive. So they could pursue their dreams together, just like they always talk about. At this point, all he wanted was for her to flicker her eyes open and look at him. And he will do the rest, he will pick her up whenever she wanted, he will kiss her, he will give her all the affection he has, he will give her all the love he has even until his heart bleed, he will hold her so tight so she will be always safe no matter the circumstances. He will do anything for her to just open her pretty eyes and look at him.

“If you aren’t going to eat something, you won’t be able to take care of her, um, later,” one of the nurses tap his shoulder. The crack of her end of sentence made Harry gulp down a lump in his throat. She knew her condition better than him. And he knew it, the crack on her word of ‘later’ doesn’t got missed by him. He nodded, the nurse’s words are true, she needed him to be okay.

So he took his time to go to the bathroom and wash his face, looking at the tiredness in his eyes, and he took some time to grab something from the cafeteria, a weird looking bread, looks like have been behind the glass display for ages, but he couldn’t care less. He shoves the bread to his mouth while running to get to her place.

“Sir, are you Harry?” a doctor rushing to his side. Suddenly he felt so empty. The panic in the doctor’s voice, his pale face, Harry doesn’t want to imagine what had happened to his girl.

“You might want to talk to her, she is going to be rolled to the operation room,” the doctor said.

Suddenly Harry felt weak in his knees. The bread feels like its going to threw itself out. He took masks and some weird gown the nurse handed him, and he rushed to her side. The beeping noises louder now he’s inside the room, but the only sound he could hear right now is her troubled heavy small breathing.

“Hi, darling,” he walked towards her with shaky limbs. “They- they said I could talk to you right now, I have weird feelings about it, but you are going to be fine. I- I will propose and we’ll have cute babies like we always talk about. I won’t leave your side again. We- we’ll have our happy ending.”

He kissed her cold fingers. It’s like the world were just the two of them again. No one around her. No weird beeping noise from the computer. No Harry Styles the popstar or y/n y/l/n the college girl. Suddenly they are just Harry and y/n again. Just both of them. In the room. y/n fighting for her life, and Harry, as helpless as he look like, helping her subconsciously.

“y/n, sweetheart, I don’t know if you could hear it, but I’ll be with you. I’ll be here, I’ll be by your side, you don’t have to be afraid, because your Harry will be here, honey. No matter how deep you fall, how hard the challenges, how hurt I will got, I’ll always be there for you. Your Harry will protect you, if it’s cold or hot, if it’s dark or bright, I’ll be by your side, kiss every single tears and cuts it will cause, and you don’t have to be afraid nor alone anymore. Because your Harry will be there for you. Always.”

And then he rolled out of the room. Out of Harry’s grasp, no matter how hard he tried to keep her close. She had gone to the room where her life will be on the thin border.

And Harry, with tired eyes and shaky breath, ran to the empty room outside the glass room and cried. Cried like he never did before. Cried until his tears dried. He dropped to his trembling knees.

“God, I-I know I barely talk to You. But this time…I beg You, please don’t let her taken away from me. I know she will be in no more pain, but I’m too selfish for it, I can’t live without her. I can’t function properly without her. I know I didn’t treat her the best before, but give me a second chance to take care of her. To smell her scent again, to kiss her hairline, brush her hair, give her all I could give, give her all the comfort she needed, give her all my love until my heart bleed. Just…give me one more chance, and I will treat her better,” his shaky voice somehow formed a proper sentence. His cheek wet with stained tears. His breath hitched. His chest felt heavy. He doesn’t even know who he is, when his girl still in the room. “Let me take one more chance to call her mine,” he let out a hitched scream.

After a long waiting and more tears spilled, when the clock told him it was 9 PM, she rolled out of the operating room. He jolted up. Indistinct chatter makes his head felt dizzy. But his main focus was her on the bed.

“Is she okay? What happened?” he could hear his voice yelling those to the medical workers, but he doesn’t even remember saying that.

“Sir, you need to calm down,” a voice called.

“No, no, I don’t need to calm down. I need to know if she’s okay!” he screamed.

“Sir, you have to,” the voice called again.

“Tell me what happened to her, tell me if she’s okay!” he yelled once more.

“Sir, take a deep breath and you’ll get to meet her,” the sentence made him stopped and slowly turned around. His eyes begging for explanation.

“Tell me how she is,” he whispered brokenly.

“She’s…you might want to see her, she might want you to talk to her,” the lady doesn’t even told him how she’s doing. And he knew it. He has only a few percent chance to have her wrapped back in his arms. And only God will gave him it.

The lady (soon he realized she is a nurse), lead him into a room. Not a glass room like she used to be placed, but a more private room, but it doesn’t make him feel any better because she was limp on the bed.

He walked in with shaking legs. The door closed behind him, and his knees gave up. He dropped to the cold floor of the hospital and cried for God knows how many times he had cried. His voice cracked. “Give me one more chance to love her again.”

#playlistficchallenge #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles one direction #harry styles x you #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #my writing

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lmanberg · 3 years

Note

ok unbiased summary/paraphrased transcript from bbh's stream 'cause I watched it fully:

he had started to address the fact that people on twitter were against him working with a6d on the podcast, clarifying the position a6d would have on the podcast by saying that co-host was wrong wording and that he would be a producer/ sound designer he said that

that he had seen the threads he had been sent and the stuff he was messages about in groupchats and that he had already in the past presented his point which he repeated now:

him being friends with someone, or working with someone, or following someone on twitter does not mean he a 100% endorses or supports their actions or thoughts, that people in the audience are probably like that too, and that people do not know what relationship people can have behind closed doors and not to assume why someone may be friends or in contact with someone else

he then started talking about hate in the mcyt community (from the audience to a cc's perspective) and used "someone young" as an example, not using names and using they/them pronouns at the start

(he later reiterated that talking about tommy was on the spot and that he may have said something wrong but that is how it goes with livestreams)

he spoke of how this is not all of the twt reaction and that there are other reasons people are upset and that they have every right to, but he said that some people on twt were saying some truly horrifying stuff about this person (tommy)

he said that some people on twt were going after streamers in the same way they go against faceless corporation, and that people need to understand that they are talking to/about a real person that will take it to heart

he continued to stress that he is really young possibly not even old enough to vote (this is when he accidentally dropped they/them and used he/him and continued to do so, chat easily caught up that it was about tommy anyway)

he said to chill and cut them some slack because them (twt/the audience) don't know what is like to have millions of people to pressure you

and that people need to be careful because the things they say (especially on twt) are amplified by thousands

he said that it made him dislike the platform, bc while it's great to bring up issues to light but it's also a great platform to harass people

that millions of people pushing even the littlest of things can stress out cc's incredibly and that when a cc opens up about those stresses the response shouldn't be "oh too bad! you deserve it!" and that he had seen tons of responses like that even from people he follows and that it was crazy to him that people would react like that

after this he admitted that he was talking about tommy and started using his name going forward

he then said that tommy is super kind and genuine and literally one of the kindest people he knows in the mcyt community and that he has a big heart and that big heart is causing him to take a lot of the things people are saying about him and to him to heart and that he (bbh) thinks people should take that in account as a community and to be nice and chill, to stop being jerks

and repeated his point that because someone is friends with someone that they do not endorse their every action, and that he knows people don't believe that irl and so that they should stop believing that on twt

(in the middle of this he reiterated that he does not speak for tommy, that that are just his thoughts)

he clarified that he is picking onto only one narrow issue with the situation and that this doesn't speak for all of the reactions on the case, and that he just wants to speak on this issue specifically because he has seen it a lot and it's important to him

he then talks about a twt thread someone sent him and proceeds to read it after apologising for being so emotional about this, since he thinks this is a serious issue in the community and theres need to be compassionate, that people shouldn't immediately jump at the worst conclusions

before reading the thread he also interrupts himself to talk about a point someone made and being careful not to name drop them, talking about cc's being attacked/held accountable for past mistakes and wrongdoings, by saying that:

everyone makes mistakes, is selfish, is wrong, he doesn't care who you are, you are not perfect, but that with cc's their mistakes are recorded, filmed, on twt and youtube on twitch and that theory are there forever, and so people can easily find a catalogue of all their mistakes and that they do not understand that those mistakes happend years ago or in the course or years, they did not do those mistakes all in one day, they happened in the past

he talked about cc's fearing speaking about the toxic side of their communities because they would be attacked or cancelled for it

he admitted that he was rumbling since this was off the cuff, as he put it, but that he was simply talking from his perspective as a cc

he then started reading this thread:

https://twitter.com/barbz4dream/status/1403825864442269699?s=19

after reading it he clarified that he did not 100% agree or disagree with the thread, but that it was a great starting point for discussion because a lot of the things they said about the community was on point, that he thinks that the community pushes a culture to be toxic against someone being barely critical against a cc and that people should be critical but that people should be courteous and that people are not obligated to like them (the cc's)

that he saw recently on twt a lot of a mentality that people cannot change past their mistakes and a lot of assumptions about people behind closed doors and their relationships

he finished by reiterating that people should be kind, treat people like they would like to be treated, that you should be kind to everyone, and that when it comes to cc's, while you are one person it may feel like not much damage, comparing it to someone throwing one pebble, that there are thousands or other that will throw stones at the same time.

this is so long but is basically a barely paraphrased transcript of what he said, make of it what you will, hope is clear to read enough, I can't bring myself to check and edit it rn since I'm busy

Thank you sm!!!

#i’ll take some time to mull it over before making an opinion #ask #long post

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antebunny · 3 years

Text

April 27: games

A sequel to archer and bridge, an identity porn extra of a modern cultivators Olympic sports AU.

Note: this is from the perspective of an NB OC named Elaine Chao who uses they/them pronouns. I did this because 1) the number of NB people I know has exponentially increased in the past year, and they all use they/them pronouns so I wanted to make myself familiar with using they/them pronouns to refer to a single person. I chose the name Elaine Chao because that’s the name of Mitch McConnell’s wife and I think I’m funny.

Elaine Chao is taking a class on cultivation, which is a new class offered at their university and also not very popular because cultivation is supposed to be a dead practice now just used as a sport. So it was expected to have like five students, max. The professor is an expert when it comes to the culture and history of xianxia, and now decided to also offer her skills and knowledge on cultivation, which she is also an expert on, despite having previously just taught the history/culture of that era. Then suddenly at the last minute, the class gets six new students. Initially, this isn’t the weird part. With an eleven person class, the students interact somewhat, but for a while all Elaine could tell you was their names.

Soon enough, their professor goes on a tirade about the international cultivation competition. She hates it because 1) it makes a mockery of the original purpose of cultivating, i.e. night hunts and defeating monsters oh and also war, and yet it still 2) puts the lives of the competitors in danger. Not in the way that sports usually do, in that there’s a risk for injury which can sometimes be permanent, but the competitors are all world-class athletes and generally don’t come to harm. But in an active, monsters-are-trying-to-kill-you sort of risk that has led to severe/permanent injuries recently, but no (recent) deaths. And the professor hates that the lives of these teenagers and young adults are so blatantly being put in danger for entertainment. She also hates how gamemasters pass their roles to their kids, who are usually competitors themselves, and so on. So the professor rants about the international tournament and these competitive cultivators and how much she dislikes it.

Then she mentions the last international competition, which everyone has heard of just because of how wrong it went.

The recent competitions have been rife with controversy anyway; there was that whole thing with gamemaster Wen Ruohan where he was favoring his sons and almost got the other competitors killed, and usually the other gamemasters would vote him out but Jiang Fengmian (and his wife) passed away from disease recently, and Jiang Cheng was his nominal replacement since it was assumed that Jiang Cheng would be too old for competition by the time Jiang Fengmian retired, and Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were skipping that year’s competition anyway because of jfm and yzy’s deaths, but then Jiang Cheng was dragged back to vote Wen Ruohan out. That all worked out in the end, because the Wens were just removed from the competition.

But last year’s competition was the final nail in the coffin. Basically, one of the gamemasters (Jin Guangshan) rigged the game for his own purposes. Since Jiang Cheng was still competing, Jin Guangyao was chosen as the new gamemaster. When only five contestants were left–the same five as the previous years–the monsters suddenly stopped dying and their time-out flares suddenly stopped working. This maybe would’ve worked except that Jin Zixuan was surreptitiously warned at the last moment that the game was rigged in his favor, and immediately told the others once he found them. Then they realized that they were stuck in the arena with monsters that wouldn’t die and no way to get out. They had a collective come-to-grace moment in which they realized “hey maybe putting our lives on the line like this isn’t healthy or normal just because it was what our parents did”. (Meanwhile, the other two grandmasters are panicking because their little brothers are out there jgs I’m going to wring your neck–) Then Wei Wuxian goes “actually I think I can control the monsters using ~demonic cultivation~” and the others go “it may be against the rules but we’ll back you up”. So that was last year’s competition. It was even more controversial because Wen Ning died as a consequence. His sister, Wen Qing, the best cultivating doctor in the world, who has treated all of the competitors in the past, literally hit the ceiling. She treated the five returning contestants and then promptly quit. That would be a problem because there’s no other doctors willing to treat all the cultivating contestants after a competition. But the bigger problem comes when Wei Wuxian, who should have gotten first place, gets banned from competitive cultivation for breaking the rules. They try to award first place to Lan Zhan, who promptly refuses and also vows to stop competitive cultivation because they banned Wei Wuxian. Then they try to award it to Jin Zixuan who refuses because he doesn’t ~deserve~ it and he’s wrecked with guilt that all the others went through this just because his dad wanted to make him win (and also wanted to kill the others). They go to Jiang Cheng who takes one look and goes “you’re kidding, right” and everyone knows that Jiang Cheng is suffering from an inferiority complex due to Wei Wuxian constantly upstaging him but Jiang Cheng is like “if you think I’m going to take a first place prize when I should’ve been fourth and you’re robbing not only the first three but also my brother by banning him from the game that almost killed all of us just because you think I have some stupid complex then you have another thing coming and also fuck you.”

So next year’s competition is canceled. Suddenly, these professional athletes have nothing to do. The five of them sit down and say “maybe we should learn more about our supposed profession” since the only reason they survived was because of Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation. Jiang Yanli brings up the university class, and the next thing they know, all six are enrolled in the class.

When Elaine overhears Wei Wuxian needle Jin Zixuan about something to which he responds “that was years ago!”, they can’t help but ask, “do you know each other?” And Wei Wuxian glances nervously at the professor and says “we’re…uh…family friends!” (That brick wall Lan Wangji is glaring at Wei Wuxian because he doesn’t like lying, but Elaine can’t tell because Lan Wangji is a brick wall. In more ways than one). Basically, while they didn’t have any intention of hiding, Wei Wuxian panics when he remembers how much the professor hates competitive cultivators, and everyone else gets sucked into his lies because of him.

And then it all comes spilling out: Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli are siblings, Nie Huaisang is high school friends with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian is dating Lan Wangji (and that much was already obvious from the very public pda), and Jin Zixuan is Jiang Yanli’s fiancé, and his family is friends with Jiang Yanli’s family, which is how he knows the siblings from earlier. It also comes out that all six of them aren’t regular students at the university, they’re just taking this class in particular. Their answers aren’t particularly enlightening, and Elaine doesn’t understand why they’re being so dodgy on the question. Well, if “dodgy” means Jiang Cheng snapping “none of your business” and Lan Wangji staring at you until you walk away nervously.

This is how Elaine gains perspective on their classmates. Jin Zixuan is an arrogant rich prick who can’t last a conversation without mentioning how much better he is than you. Jiang Cheng would be cool (and maybe even cute, Elaine notes) if he wasn’t perpetually angry, even with the people he supposedly got along with. He’s polite enough with strangers but any personal comments and he acts personally offended. Wei Wuxian is nice enough, but he’s also an annoying troublemaker who’s always late for class, and has the social skills of an agoraphobic lobster. He constantly inserts himself in conversations and gets on the professor’s nerves. Well, the professor appreciates the questions and knows that Wei Wuxian is actually interested and also really really smart, but. Nerves. Lan Zhan is handsome, and a model student, but that’s about all Elaine can say about him. He has the emotional capacity of an old shoe, and rarely offers more than one word answers, as if talking is beneath him. The only exception is Wei Wuxian, and that’s a whole other can of worms, because Elaine cannot for the life of them figure out how those two are dating each other. It’s clear they’re the most in-love couple to ever being in love, but that doesn’t answer the question why. And how. And what. Nie Huaisang is nice enough. He actually has some social tact and can hold a conversation, but he also has zero spine and isn’t interested in anything but art and procrastination. Elaine doesn’t understand why he’s even taking this class. He’s not in uni anyway, why is he here.

The only acceptable person is Jiang Yanli, and that’s because she’s a human person with actual feelings. She’s always nice, but knows that her siblings are not, and she has interests besides ??? and none. She actually goes to university and is majoring in political science, which is how Elaine learns that she is a debate champion, and already managing a business left to her by her recently deceased parents. Elaine brings up their parents once and then Jiang Cheng the aggressive angry grape starts yelling and Wei Wuxian turns downright vicious all cold and dark and Elaine never brings it up again. So Jiang Yanli is the only one that Elaine actually likes/considers a friend. The only thing is that Elaine cannot understand why she associates with the people that she does. Siblings are understandable, but why is she engaged to that rich brat Jin Zixuan? The terrifying thing is that Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian agree with Elaine and think Jiang Yanli could do better, and Elaine knows this because they’re so vocal about it. Like are they trying to ruin their sister’s engagement? Actually maybe they are.

So that’s Elaine’s university class experience.

#antebunny's april prompts #fic outline #spring fest 2021 #mdzs #not my art #obviously

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bi-rising · 3 years

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so the thing is. i've always been pro non-binary and i want to continue to be but i have been reading some stuff and i'm worried bc it kinda makes sense and ik it's a bad thing but god idk i need to hear your opinion. so there's this post of someone saying trans ppl wouldn't exist in an utopia where genders aren't a thing and someone else explained how that was wrong because of disphoria and then said "while yes, there would be a lot less nb ppl bc gender stereotypes are more their thing..." and it got me thinking bc i never really understood what nb is. i also saw other people say that nb and genderfluid don't make sense because they're not about gender, but stereotypes about masculinity and femeninity. and i think i agree? (what i hear most from nb ppl is that they don't feel like they fit in with society's ideas of man or woman, but as a somewhat masculine cis woman neither do i? or many others at least) because those things are societal, you can be a binary gender while not agreeing with societal gender norms, or gnc. and what confuses me further is that most nb ppl are gender aligned. i reason they're aligned to the gender that corresponds their sex? (i'm asking from the deepest pit of ignorance😅) but if they feel like they don't fit in the binary genders, how can they be aligned with masc of fem? i mean for example a nb person who's female by sex and is very femenine, wears makeup, long hair, basically doesn't look androgynous at all, are they really not a woman who doesn't agree with gender stereotypes? bc i also feel like a lot of people are treating nb as a quirky thing to use to get in the lgbt community (like they wanna be oppressed, for whatever reason). idk. i'm a bit lost (and drunk), gender discourse is quite complex...

you're right, gender discourse is incredibly complex, especially when so many people are ready to jump down your throat and cancel you and destroy your friendships regardless of your intentions and/or level of knowledge. therefore, i'm also going to speak carefully on this subject, bc i feel that nb discourse is rife with people foaming at the mouth to ask any questions at all so :^)

anyway, i've seen that post before, and i think i agree with you as well. binary trans people have a disorder. it's been proven that trans people's brains have the neural pathways and neural structural patterns of the gender opposite of their sex. therefore, even in a utopia without gender roles and stereotypes, they would still be trans. that's also why it's incredibly important to keep transgender as a medical acknowledgement, not just to force insurance to help pay for gender reaffirming surgeries and therapies, but also to acknowledge that it's a real, neurological occurrence--and hopefully gain more research and acceptance of it.

and because of that, i also am in the same boat as you, where it's likely that nb people would not exist in such a utopia, or if they did, it would be an extremely small amount, even smaller than it is currently. from what i've seen in the nb movement is a lot of push against gender roles and gender stereotypes; i would cautiously hazard a guess that there are two main reasons for people identifying as nb

1) they are gnc

2) they don't "feel" their gender, as they believe cis people do, and conflate lack of femininity/masculinity or a neutrality towards one's own body with having a different gender

i personally can't see anyone having nb dysphoria, simply because the science isn't there for it. the body has two setting--male or female (please note that intersex people are not being considered here, as their condition is a birth defect and not the creation of a third gender or a lack of gender). therefore, there are female and male hormones; female and male neural structures; female and male neural pathways. i don't believe that there is dysphoria associated with not having a gender or having a third gender outside the binary--HOWEVER. however, i believe that many things can be mistaken for nb dysphoria

for example, many binary trans people have had a stage wherein they identify as nb for awhile. it's like a stepping stone, from what i understand, between believing they're cis to understanding they're trans. there is also trauma, especially sexual trauma, that can cause a disconnect between one's own gender and themselves. internalized misogyny/misandry can also be a culprit, or simply not wishing to exist within the boxes that female and male stereotypes push people into. and lastly, there's also body dysmorphia, which can be difficult to recognize for what it is. of course, it may be a desire to simply "be different" than other people, especially for those that are online a lot and have been bombarded with "cis is bad" for years and years, but i would like to give people the benefit of the doubt first instead of jumping to conclusions like that

despite all of this, i do think it is important to respect nb people and be courteous and kind to them. this is just my own opinion, and i personally will never attack or dismiss a nb person. the only problem i will ever have is if a nb person uses neopronouns, and that's bc i am neurodivergent and believe that pronouns equal gender. then, though, i believe that's a separate problem entirely from being nb critical

#jupe's inbox #also pls drink some water!!#don't get too bad of a hangover adkfjasdf

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realtransfacts · 3 years

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So after previously identifying as nonbinary and then demiboy, i recently started not even wanting a gender?

I don't care about people deadnaming or misgendering me weirdly. I do not want to have a name, i do not want to use pronouns, i don't want people to read me as a certain gender.

Everything just feels wrong and it also kinda cancelled out my dysphoria.

Agender doesn't feel right, because rather than not having a gender (even tho that is also probably happening), i just don't want one, i almost feel digusted by the idea.

Is there any word for this?

I also fear it may be because of some mental illness that I'm just distancing myself from the concept of 'me', since my mental health really decreased lately

I'm just so lost

Genderless, maybe? I don’t really know, sorry.

If any of my followers know of any terminology that might better suit what anon is describing, please feel free to reblog and add to this post.

#Anonymous

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wcamino-confessions · 3 years

Text

the goop-pyro situation explained

[ hii, mod. ii hope youre ok. ] [ ii = i ] ii deciided to make a post telliing how ii see thiings wiith the goop-pyro siituatiion and attemptiing to make iit easy to access / understand to those who dont want to read 400+ notes. iive read all the notes on goops vent/callout ask and pyros screenshots as the tiime beiing (8:23 brt); and ii wiill try to not take any siides for now. but, you can read my opiiniion too iif you wiish. iill place iit here too.

notes: ii use he/hiim and zey/zem/zeiir/zemself, iif you want to refer to me on the notes. goop = monster/M0N.STERR = liin, uses he/hiim. pyro uses he/hiim willyoucomewithme uses they/them iif thiis people use any other pronouns, ii apologiize for not liistiing them, and iill ensure to use them on the future. my poiint of viiew can be iidentiifiied when ii use my typiing style, and iit wiil also be placed [liike thiis].

1. goops callout post "hi yall! today, i got my feelings invalidated by the one and only PYRO!! the one who leads the tam chats!! he and some of his mods decided to create troll accounts to raid TAM!! he didn't tell some mods from what i saw, and made a mod deal with their bullshit!! they also tried to sell stolen art!! then, i left the casual chat because one of the mods admitted to trolling (they tried to say it wasn't them earlier, they also only admitted to it because some more people knew what they were doing), and i was uncomfortable!! then, pyro pms me!! and i tell him that i was uncomfortable being in the chat because one of the mods were talking abt the situation!! and i tell him what they did was wrong!! then, he says that everyone is fine with it except for me, and says that i'm exaggerating!! yay!!"

pyro quickly came in and said that there was a lot to unpack about the situation; and that lin was lying. according to him, he and the mod team of tam would test the helpers by simulating a troll attack on the public chat. goop felt uncomfortable with that, and left the casual chat. some mods were confused/worried[?] and contacted pyro. pyro pm'd goop to talk about iit. the screenshots he(pyro) posted are cropped, [so iit iis questiionable iif there was anythiing else that wasn't mentioned, or iif pyro purposefully

goop pov: - pyro invalidated his feelings - pyro didn't tell some of the mods about the troll raid [proved wrong, questiionable] - the mods tried selling stolen art [ii don't have proof about thiis rn, so questiionable] - he told pyro what was making him uncomfortable - was told that he was overreacting [hiinted at, not with those exact words. siince the screenshots were cropped, can't be confiirmed.] - "@pyro778 i think saying “everyone else was fine with it except you and _____” was hinting that you thought i was exaggerating 😐" (copypaste, goop's words)

pyro pov: - he politely asked goop if he wanted to talk about what was happening - lin refused to tell what was making him uncomfortable [proved wrong later on.]; and was acting rudely. - the majority of the mods agreed with the troll training - there was one offliine person who diidn't reply to the troll training? [should have waiited for them] - lin was purposefully lying to cancel him. [wrong, iimo. goop wasnt lyiing. he diidn't seem to make any attempt to cancel pyro at all, he diidnt mentiion iit on the notes] - lin was lying about the mod team [questiionable.] - "that’s exactly what we were trying to do. Lin is making up lies in an attempt to cancel me or somethin" (pyro's words, copypaste)

part 2 . the "leaving the chat" discussion pyro told goop that he shouldn't leave the chat, as he was a mod. in reality, goop is a helper. [even so, ii beliieve that thiis shouldn't have happened. even iif goop iis a mod, he has all the riight to leave the chat iif he feels uncomfortable. attemptiing to make him come back "because hes a mod" iisnt any professiional.] "@willyoucomewithme so let’s say a mod sees a situation going on, starts to handle it, and then leaves the chat. Now what? Do you see how that wouldn’t work? We can’t just have mods leaving the chats without any sort of warning or explanation" (pyro's words, copypaste) [thiis iisnt the case. as far as iim aware, liin diidnt leave duriing a siituatiion, so thiis example iisnt really valiid. and, agaiin, goop iis completely free to do what he wiishes. iif goop felt uncomfortable, he diidn't have to *iimediiately* giive a notiice. thiis also iinvaliidates goops feeliings.] "Lin stretched the truth and just straight up lied in this post" (copypaste, pyro's words) [ii dont agree, but thats a personal opiiniion, and iid rather not drag iit as iit may affect thiis post.]

3. "please grow up" [ii thiink that, at thiis poiint, thiings started to go down.] pyro told goop to grow up [as ii understand, drop the subject? forgiive and forget? not clear to me.], to which goop replied "grow up?? no, i won’t let some person who people look up to invalidate my feelings." (copypaste, goop's words)

he also stated that making a callout post was petty and immature.

according to pyro, if you cant handle stressful ideas, it isnt a good idea to stay as a mod. [agaiin, liin iis a helper. and to be honest, thiis comment speciifiically has me wonderiing some thiings. as someone who has already served as mod to diiscord servers and some amiinos, and saw many dramas and confliicts, thats wrong. some mods cant handle stressful iideas because iit harms them. iit doesnt mean that they arent capable of working as a mod.] willyoucomewithme also stated that they were a mod for some years (almost 5) and that they recognized pyros behaviour as unprofessional. goop commented that "you said if people are uncomfortable, we’ll make an apology wheres the apology? i’m uncomfortable." [ii dont know much about that, no proof was giiven about iit, so ii cant confiirm]

3. off-topic [iimo one of the worse parts.] slowly, the topic started to drift away from the discussion, and passed to some off-topic conversation between some users, counting pyro and a user named astolfosextraribbon. [pretty diisrespectful. just moviing on liike that and sayiing random thiings to eachother diidnt really show any concern to how goop felt, and mostly made iit seem liike a joke that could be iignored.] apparently, goop went by a panic attack because of that things and because of the off-topic chit-chatting. [ii already had paniic attacks before and ii already saw users go by one. by how goop started typiing, ii know that iit iis true, and ii hope hes ok.] some people apologized, recognizing how the situation was affecting goop, but pyro and astol didnt. pyro claimed that lin did the post, so it wasnt his fault, and that they were just trying to lighten the mood. [wrong. iit iis pyros fault for treatiing iit like a joke and just moviing on, chattiing casually. they could have just moved on to a group chat, as was suggested multiiple tiimes iin the notes. iidk iif they diid that, tho.]

4. misgendering this part mostly involves willyoucomewithme (who ill refer to as wy) and astol (astolfosextraribbon). wy and astol engaged in an argument because of the off-topic chatting. [astol kept takiing the siituatiion as a joke, apparently, iif taken onto consiideratiion theiir behaviiour on the notes] "yeah im laughing cause yall insulting me when i CLEARLY havent done the same👩❤️💋👩" (copypaste, astol's words) wy then asked astol to stop referring to them as a girl/sis/female names and pet names, as they didnt like that. [astol diidnt seem to take iit seriiously at fiirst, referiing to them as guy/diick.] yet, once they stated that they were nonbinary, they apologized. even so, it seemed to trigger wys gd [and tbh, ii hope youre doiing well, wy.]. they stated that they were doubting their own gender. no one apologized for that for a while, the topic drifted to random again, until astol referred to lin(?) and wy as "furries", which triggered wys traumas. aikoindieinside told them to "chillax", astol accused them of guilt-tripping. wy did seem to point that they had an episode because of it, tho not confirmed.

5. conclusion.

that was my post, iig. ii triied my best to iinform everythiing, but iif ii left any iinfo out, please tell me. iim on computer rn and siince tumblr iis trash, ii miightve miissed smth.

#submission

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strongxsurvivors · 3 years

Text

MLM SHIPS, FETIZATION, AND MISOGYNY IN THE RPC.

This is a small, or not-so-small, rant about a problem ( in my opinion ) I see more and more often in both the rp community and the art community. As a member of both, I just can’t escape this issue and need to put out some food for thought for everyone to read.

Not all of you are going to agree with me. Maybe, some will want to add in their two cents. Maybe, it’ll go over someone’s head completely. I simply appreciate you putting the time into reading this and giving it, like, two seconds of thought. It may not be an issue for you or be completely unrelated to you, but this is an issue I’m sure others will be able to relate to.

I will preface this by saying that I am a twenty-five year old transman. I am bisexual. I have a degree in psychology and excelled in gender and sexuality psychology. THIS DOES NOT, BY ANY MEANS, MEAN I AM THE END ALL BE ALL OF INFO IN THESE SUBJECTS. My experience is my own and I will not gatekeep or instruct people how to think in concerns of these subjects. I am only saying these things simply to assure you that I am valid in my perspective because I am in these communities. Please, don’t think that I want to invalidate anyone or say that I am better than you because I am these things.

Alright, let’s get the ball rolling because I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on a lot of points.

The number one thing that finally set me off to make this post is the absolute WORSHIP of mlm ( male loving male ) ships in the rpc ( and art comm., but this ain’t about them rn ). I have seen, countless times, entire blogs dedicated to shipping male characters to male characters.

Now, initially, this isn’t a problem. Having a male homosexual ship or homosexual male characters is absolutely fine. Peep my blog, I obviously have some. But, it’s the act of taking a character that was originally female, cisbend them to be male, and shipping them with another male character that's the problem. What was wrong with the female character? You kept her personality but made her male? Why? Is it necessary? It’s the same character. If you are uncomfortable writing female-related smut, fade to black. Smut is not necessary if you are truly focused on the essence of this character.

By making this character male, you are essentially saying that the only problem was that she was female. That’s it. That is misogyny. If you are focusing on her as a character, her body shouldn’t matter. As if females equate to their body when sex and gender are two separate things. But, you are bringing females down by getting rid of this one thing. You are telling them they are not good enough. That, maybe, you would like them better if they were the same but male. Am I being extreme about this? Yes. But, I’m trying to drive home my point here.

Another point to make about fetishizing mlm ships is that, even if you state your character is bisexual, pansexual, etc., that does not give you a pass. If your whole blog has characters who want only male partners even if some are stated to be something other than homosexual, you’re fetishizing them. If you put no effort in exploring relationships with females — platonic, romantic, or otherwise — you may as well call them homosexual and call it a day. I’m not here to dictate how you should play your character, but it’s easy to see where your loyalties lie when there is no evidence of female characters on your blog that you’ve interacted with. Actions speak louder than words. Rpc may be made up of words, but make your words take action. Plenty of people complain about their females being ignored. Go help them. Make your characters be friends, enemies, a crime-fighting duo idk. Females exist, don’t act like they don’t.

Oh, and changing a canon mlm ship to a wlw ship by cisbending them doesn’t change things. You’re still saying that those male characters were better than the pre-existing female characters. I would recommend you focus on the actual females of whatever medium you’ve taken these characters from, or create ocs that are genuinely wlw. This is mostly a thing I see in the art community, but I have seen it in the rpc.

We’re going to move on now to some transphobic and trans fetishization, which is fewer and far between. I say a few because I barely see trans characters out there in the community. But, when I do, OH BOY.

Simply stating a character is trans and doing nothing to upkeep what you said does not make your character trans. I’m sorry. Taking a pre-existing character and changing their gender and calling them trans is a sticky situation. I will probably get hate for this, but what are you going to do? It’s Tumblr. I would just prefer to see more original trans characters out there, as if actual thought and development went into their creation.

What I mean by a sticky situation is this, and it goes back to a point I made earlier about cisbending characters to fit mlm ships: if you’re only making a character a transman to make him gay, that's fetishizing both mlm ships and trans people. I’m not saying a transperson can’t be gay and I’m not here to limit diverse characters — this is why I say this is a sticky situation. But, what I am saying is that if you only have muses that are involved in mlm ships and then you add a transmale character to also have an mlm ship based on faceclaims, it’s kinda sus.

Another thing I want to point out is if you are playing a trans character, refer to them by their chosen name and pronouns. You would think this is a no brainer, but you would be surprised. Even if your trans character is closeted, it is your job as the writer to write the correct name and pronouns. Other character interacting with your trans character could use their dead name and wrong pronouns — it makes sense, they don’t know your character is trans if they are closeted and non-passing. But, as you write your character, you and the reader are aware of your character’s true self. Neglecting to reflect your character’s true self through their chosen and name and pronouns is transphobic and harmful. Seeing things like this sends me into a whirlwind of dysphoria.

Changing a pre-existing character to nonbinary rather than cisbending them would be a recommendation from me and some others ( nonbinary individuals ) I’ve talked to. First off, there are very few nonbinary characters in general — media or otherwise. So, taking a pre-existing character and making them nonbinary is a nice thing to see. And, since the character is nonbinary, if they’re in a relationship with a male - the fetishization is redundant.

Now, who do I see making these wacky characters? Mostly cis females and trans men. I think it mostly stems from internalized misogyny as, when growing up, we’ve lived in societies where we are taught men are better than women. It can get to the point where cis females will glorify men so much that they have to have mlm ships. The same can be said for trans men. I’m not saying — as is often used against trans men — that this internalized misogyny / glorification of men has caused them to be trans. Obviously not. But, the internalized misogyny is still there enough to where they may either fear interacting with female characters. It might make them uncomfortable, dysphoric, or they just may think men are better. Women do not deserve to be the catalyst for someone’s discomfort. They are people. They are everywhere. They deserve to be loved. If they make you uncomfortable, if you think you are better than them, if you think men are better, I want you to sit down with yourself and think about this.

When I first realized that I was trans, I had some serious internalized misogyny going on. I would be uncomfortable writing female characters. I would be uncomfortable interacting with them. There was this discomfort that started to manifest in my behaviors and thoughts. Luckily, I had the best person in my life who told me that I was acting misogynistic and I needed to change. Pushing away females was me trying to come to terms with my transness. You don’t need to expel females away from you to imbed in yourself that you are trans. You don’t need to raise yourself above them as men have done for centuries. Do not become part of the problem. Accept the feminine parts of yourself, accept females, and I promise that the fear or resentment you may have with females and female characters will fade away.

Now, with all that being said, my last few words:

Being trans does not give you a pass to do the things I’ve mentioned. Being cis does not give you a pass. Being straight, gay, bi, etc does not give you a pass. If you are a gay man, I understand why you would only have male mlm ships. That doesn’t mean you can’t platonically interact with female characters. We all have made dumb mistakes and judgments in the past. I know for sure I’ve written some pretty cringe stuff in the past. It happens. The best we can do? Learn and take action on what we claim to have learned. Again, actions speak louder than words. Don’t piggy-back on posts that call out people for behavior like this when you participate in some of these behaviors yourself. Just because one person got called out and the spotlight is on them doesn’t mean you’re better than them or that you’ve been given a pass. If you read something like this, reflect on yourself and wonder — objectively — do you do some of these things? You may without realizing it or meaning to. In the end, I’m just a small blog that’s been around for seven years. I think we can get better as a community, but only if we help each other out. This is not a call out post. Call out and cancel culture is gross and counterproductive. I ain’t here for it. Call me out if you want, but what’ll that do? Nothing accept invalidate my opinion.

If you made it this far, I’m sorry. I took up a lot of your time probably. But, I want to thank you so much for reading this. As I said, you may agree, disagree, and not really get what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying half the time either. But, I appreciate you regardless. Please, stay safe and healthy. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you.

#indie rp #indie rpc #indie discourse #gingersnaps #idk what to tag so here we are

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shandycandy278 · 4 years

Text

Bluebell Masterpost!

Other Creators are @old-desert, @justalexnoelle, and Lumie! :D (Bluebell is a collaboration between us four uwu)

Art was made in a collaboration of both @old-desert (line art) and @justalexnoelle (coloring).

Info under the cut!

Name:

Bluebell

Pronouns:

He/Him

Age:

Somewhere in his early twenties

Sexuality:

Gay/Aro/Ace

Height:

4’2”

Parents:

Blue

Nightmare

Birthday:

05/27

AKA May 27th

Origins:

It all began when the fire nation attacked.

Jkjk, although it all did start with a stray combined attack from Ink and Dream. Blue and Nightmare had been dating in secret, and that combined attack killed Blue (on accident, of course). Bluebell had been born not long before that (a few days? A few weeks? unsure), and had been discovered not long after Blue’s death (an hour).

Blue had kept Bluebell a secret from Nightmare and everyone else, and the secret wasn’t revealed to other outcodes until a few years after that.

Relationships With Family:

Nightmare- He doesn’t know him, except from the stories that he’s been told. He feels close to Nightmare thanks to the time he spends talking to Nightmare’s statue and because they were both outcasts, and kind of idolizes him in the way a young child would their parent.

Blue- He doesn’t know him either, and he’s not sure how he feels about what he knows about Blue. While he was outcasted because people thought that he would be like Nightmare, he was constantly held up to the expectations that one would expect from Blue.

Dream- Dream was his Guardian/Uncle before he moved out. Bluebell doesn’t particularly feel anything towards him outside of a small grudge that he got after learning that Dream was part of the reason why Blue’s dead. He was a better parent than his Uncle Stretch though.

Stretch- His first Guardian, and the only Uncle he knew until Dream found Bluebell on accident. Bluebell has mixed feelings about him, but ultimately they revolve around anger and spite.

Hearts- His first and most trusted coworker (cough-his-adopted-parent-cough). He tried to keep a very professional relationship with them, but pretty much everyone can tell that Hearts unofficially adopted Bluebell, and that it wasn’t the other way around. Well, everyone except for Bluebell.

Ex-Fiance- We don’t talk about him. We do NOT talk about him under any circumstances.

Looks:

Look at above image.

He dresses in Nightmare and Dream’s old style for the most part.

His shawl was one that they “borrowed” from Blue’s room during their time with Stretch. Blue had a lot of spare scarves, bandanas, shawls, and other things- but Bluebell liked this one the most.

Those tentacles are what I like to call his ‘tail-tacles’ hehe.

He doesn’t use them outside of holding things occasionally though.

The right eye light is stuck as a crescent moon, but the left eye light changes shape with the phases of the moon, and looks like the said phase of the moon (in the image above, it’s a full moon). The left eye light only changes outside of the phases if he feels extreme emotions. New moon/no eyelight for negative emotions, and then he gets a full moon when it’s positive.

If he gets super excited/happy then little stars appear with the full moon and his left eye socket will look like a mini sky.

Powers/Abilities:

Empath (Can’t manipulate emotions, affect the Positive/Negative balance, or pinpoint exactly where they are coming from, but he can feel other people’s emotions and the emotions that they can put into objects.)

Blue Magic

Basic Bone Attacks (No Gaster Blasters or Cyan/Orange Attacks)

Two Goopy War Hammers w/ Phantom Goop Hands

Character Information:

Bluebell is trans (ftm).

Their Hearts uses they/them pronouns (nb).

Bluebell often has no idea how to socialize, and often has to come up with things on the spot.

He somehow broke the babey scale and is more babey than anyone anticipated (including us).

He needs more physical contact and positive attention/affection, although he doesn’t actively seek it out and shies away from it at first. (Hearts is happy to provide uwu)

He feels most at home in Dreamtale, which has become a mythical, magical, and breathtaking nighttime wonderland.

He refuses to kill people.

He and Ink are at-ends because Bluebell saving and helping people messes with the world’s stories.

Bluebell doesn’t like going into the Omega Timeline. Not only are there too many Swap!Sanses, but there are a lot of people who hate him there.

He is a good listener.

Hobbies:

Gardening

Reading, although mostly it’s just fantasy novels.

He likes to do Sudoku and Kakuro.

He’s also a pretty decent cook.

Training.

Other Backstory Stuff (warning it’s longggg):

After Blue’s death, Nightmare built a monument in Blue’s honor. After that he petrified himself at the base of Blue’s statue.

Not long after that (a few days give or take), his gang members came in and tried to pry him away from the statue. They succeeded (somewhat), but Nightmare was still grieving. In an attempt to snap him out of it, Dust tried to wreck the garden while Killer and Horror kept Nightmare distracted. This plan ultimately failed, and they paid with their lives.

Before this, Cross had left the gang and currently resides in the Omega Timeline. (The XEvent never happened here, because Nightmare found Cross before Ink could.)

Stretch was NOT a good guardian (Blue had raised him as the older brother, but this apple fell FAR away from that tree). He is sexist and 110% against the LGBTQ+ community. Even before Bluebell’s gender came into question, he was treating Bluebell wrong. He wouldn’t let him dress in anything other than dresses, and wouldn’t let him play with any of the other kids. Bluebell was expected to stay quiet, hidden, and obedient. Stretch didn't do anything outlandish when Bluebell would disobey (this was rare), but he didn't give Bluebell the love that he needed.

It got better after Dream found out about Bluebell, because Dream allowed Bluebell to grow. He let Bluebell wear what he wanted and do what he wanted too, but he wasn’t exactly a good guardian either. He also told and taught Bluebell about his parents, although some details wee kept hidden from him. He wasn’t overly-active in Bluebell’s life, although he did make sure that Bluebell socialized with other kids.

The other kids were Not Kind to Bluebell. They had all heard of Nightmare and his harsh hold on the Multiverse- although no one seems to know what had happened to him. They saw his bones and tentacles and feared him, so they terrorized him. He had a hard time fitting in and didn't feel like he belonged.

It was around here that Bluebell stumbled across Dreamtale, and consequently Nightmare’s garden and Blue’s memorial statue. He can feel the love and grief that was put into it, and it was here that he finally learned what his parents looked like. Since then, he made it his mission to take care of Nightmare’s garden for him.

Dream eventually got full custody of Bluebell. After that Bluebell started actually discovering more about who he was- including his sexuality and his gender.

When Bluebell turned 18, and before he moved out, Dream sat down with him and gave him the full story (what he knew of it, anyway) about his parents and their death. Bluebell was so angry that he declared that he had no family before leaving. He was really angry at Dream at first, but eventually calmed down and realized that he couldn’t exactly blame Dream.

Shortly after he moved out, he met a guy from a different world and they started dating. They dated for two years before the guy popped the question, and Bluebell had said yes. Bluebell honestly believed that this person loved him and didn't mind that he was the son of Nightmare, because he had always protected Bluebell from those remarks when he could.

The day before the wedding, Bluebell found out that his fiance was cheating on him. Had been for the entirety of their relationship, because he felt like one wasn’t enough (Bluebell was the second, he had been dating someone else before Bluebell).

Bluebell called him out on it, and his fiance got so mad that not only did he cancel the wedding, but he verbally assaulted Bluebell and hit him in all the places where it hurt. Bluebell threw the ring away before he went home and then cried into his bed.

It took a few days before he could manage to find it in himself to go outside and tend to the garden, but instead of actually doing anything he sat down next to Nightmare’s statue and cried. (Nightmare reached out magically to comfort him, don’t worry, he cares.)

A few weeks after that and struggling to get back on his feet Bluebell realized something. Why try to prove anyone wrong? If they all believed that he was the son of a monster, then he would become that son and follow in his father’s footsteps.

Unfortunately he had no idea how to do that and failed.

A lot.

None of the Sanses he tried to talk to either attacked or flat-out-ignored him.

He started getting really desperate, and somehow he ended up in an Underlust timeline and ran into Hearts. Bluebell was on the verge of a breakdown, and whenever he tried to offer up a point to convince Hearts to join him, he’d go on a rant and forget what he was trying to do before going back on topic. Hearts saw this and decided that they would take Bluebell under their wing (although they devised it as the opposite happening: Bluebell taking in Hearts).

After settling in with Bluebell and helping to fix up Nightmare’s old castle, Hearts helps Bluebell learn how to communicate with others in a way that would get him what he wants (although Bluebell struggles a lot with it).

At this current point in time, it’s just Bluebell and Hearts.

Later on in the timeline, they’ll accept a new Killer, Dust, Horror onto the team. Along with a version of Blue (which was certainly awkward), and any ship kids that may or may not need homes.

Later on in the timeline, Dream will decide to hop in and spy on/check in on Bluebell without his knowledge (he does this a lot actually, despite the fact that he’s a neutral in all of this). This time though, he decides to stop by Nightmare’s statue and talk to it a bit.

Later on in the timeline, after Dream talks to Nightmare’s statue, Nightmare eventually decides that he wants to support his son and unpetrifies himself. He’s weak though, and he can’t move. Bluebell happens upon him while visiting the garden and helps him get inside, with Hearts’ help.

Later on in the timeline, Hearts will help Nightmare as he finally faces his grief head-on.

Later on in the timeline, they’ll all start to become like a family.

But at the moment, it’s just Bluebell and Hearts. :3

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is it for now! :D

#writing #Bluebell #Nightberry #Belladonna #Nightberry Ship Kid #Belladonna Ship Kid #Ship Kid #Nightmare/Blue #Blue/Nightmare

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