#but because I'm asexual everyone tells me other people deserve better than me for romantic relationship

[kikimochiiiii]

My personal take on MDZS kins based on what I've seen (which is almost nothing)! Understand that this'll be very biased n uninformed, but it's just for fun and I cherish all kins! Please and thank you!💕

WWX: Fiercely protective over their homies/mother bear type; Live for the drama though, so they WILL pitch homies against each other; They will state that their opinion is ALWAYS right to assert dominance; They never feel silly enough; "What do you mean people don't have a bi panic every 20 seconds?"; The life of a party, for better or worse

LWJ: They are very accomplished and orderly; But ask them about that and they'll say that they hate how boring they are; They can recite all of their unrequited loves in detailed, dramatic stories; They have at least 1, if not multiple crushes where they hate the fact that they love them; once they hyperfixate on one thing, they'll never be able to tell you anything about anything else; Shy n sweet, we protecc

JC: "I HATE THAT I KIN THIS MAN, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND-"; Their family sucks so much and they absolutely deserve better; They always want affection but can't help but act grossed out by it; will fight WWX kinnies in a gas station parking lot; prayed to all the gods to be asexual because they hate hormones, but they couldn't be more thirsty; have killer fashion that makes everyone double-take; A fierce, chaotic beauty ppl don't forget

JYL: The mom friend; Is always the therapist/advisor/caretaker/friend/mom for everyone else; Girl, are you okay? You are overworked for real; Wishes they could be intimidating once in a while; LOVES ALL THE GIRLY FEMME AESTHETICS; "I'm so average TT TT" (is actually talented in so many areas wth); everyone is protective over them and they don't know why, but they like it💕💗

LXC: Oh my gosh, ARE YOU OKAY-; Have an emotional wall higher than Mt. Everest; The person with the most propriety; Perfectionism is their worst enemy; Have definitely dealt with toxic friends in their life, so please handle with care; the best listeners; Extremely artistic in some form or another; Are kind to all other kinnies, but will bloody take a bullet for JC kinnies on sight; No one shall ever know their music playlists...

NMJ: "I am who I am, and don't mess with me"; If people aren't genuine with them, they can't stand it; An open book at all times; Their face WILL show what they are feeling; They are just aiming to find a himbo or cute twink for their love partner (or both!); generally nice, but can whip out insanely painful insults, so don't test them; They are confident, and therefore, they are H O T

JGY: GOSH, WHY ARE THEY SO PRETTY??; Definitely were the reason for someone's bi or gay awakening; soft aesthetic e v e r y w h e r e; "A-Yao never did anything wrong!🥺"; Will 100% not snitch on you if you give them a favor or are just hot; Are all about optimizing their situation, if you catch my drift; They are the most loyal of loyal friends if they cherish you💗💕

NHS: "I was born to be petty."; They can recall everything they have a grudge against in worryingly great detail; They will exact revenge on you, so be nice; They have the absolute maddest make-up skills; Work in tandem with WWX kinnies to make chaos, but take a backseat more often; Either habe the highest standards or none at all with no in-between; Bring them to ALL of your sleepovers

WQ: Queen energy 24/7; "I fUCKING TOLD YOU SO-"; They are forever suffering from the incompetent, irresponsible people around them; They have dealt with creeps thirsting after them, and they all wound up missing, oops-; Will be a full-on bodyguard for JYL kinnies and MM kinnies on sight; They just hate men in general; Extremely smart and/or street smart

MM: Also constantly suffering from idiots around them; They are so pretty, but very modern n with the trend when it comes to fashion; They are so stable and sure in themselves, we love to see it; Definitely witnessed friends go through VERY cringe romantic relationships; Doesn't talk much in a group context, but if you start talking with them, they are an awesome friend💕💗; When protected by WQ kinnies, they'll insist that they didn't need up, but they'll secretly like it👀

WN: Classic shy and sweet TM; People were absolutely attracted to them before because they thought they fit a trope, and it was deeply upsetting to them; They are SO INDECISIVE; Their fear over making core decisions is immeasurable; They have an intense fear of emails; "Please don't perceive me..."; Can pop off when defending a friend, and it's very hot of them

XY: "Okay, but like, I'm just saying...a pocket knife would be good for self-defense because-"; They joke about concerning things in discord vcs at 3 am that everyone mutually chooses to ignore; Are adorably extroverted; "Omg you like candy too?! LETS BE BESTIES!!💕🎵"; Are oddly sweet considering they relate to Xue Yang; Definitely tried the goth look once, but they still looked like a cupcake; The hugging type of friend; Occasionally bratty for attention

SL: "Why do all these people lack common sense?"; Had 1 (one)(uno) crush and then never liked anyone ever again; Everyone calls their lifestyle dull, but they just say that they value consistency; You have to plan a meet-up with them 2 weeks in advance or else they will PANIK; Their form of love is helping you manage your finances; Are actually quite mature and wise once you get them talking

XXC: YOU ARE SO PURE, WHY ARE YOU ON THE INTERNET; Weirdly aged and ageless in personality; Also the mom friend, but they aren't burnt out, unlike JYL kinnies; Wear super cute, oversized sweaters, I don't make the rules; sweater paws HNNG; Sometimes a bit out of the loop, but they're doing their best; Jump around in a conversation; Found family is their absolute jam; An extreme empath, so they have to protect themselves from too much depressing stuff, like the news

Okay, that's it for now! I just picked out some of the MDZS people that stood out the most to me for now bc man, this is long, but lemme know if you want my take on any other MDZS character!

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #lan xichen #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #wen qing #wen ning #mian mian #xue yang #song lan #xiao xingchen #nie huaisang

[yurious-george]

anyway this one's more personal, kind of an 18+ vent/reflection.

I few months ago i was falsely accused of sexual assault from a long-term friend group, specifically from someone I was close friends with and very flirty (read: horny) with. This person had confessed to me a little while earlier, and I was really struggling with that? I see the problem was multifaceted.

I'm a lesbian who is most likely somewhere on the aro spectrum but NOT the asexual spectrum, and never unpacked it before

i don't do 'casual romance,' to me, a romance is a promise to be on the same side, long term, but i'm thinking i might expand this definition... I'm starting to understand myself and what I want out of dating a lot better. i want to get flirtier and sillier, but again, my sense of sexuality is much more defined than my sense of romance

i am autistic

the language used to describe sexual trauma is all sexual assault based, when there are many situations that can be traumatic that don't involve an attacker

sexual inexperience when playing with more dangerous sexual ideas

not thinking of sexting as actual sex and not really requiring proper safeguards

her own misconceptions that the dom(me) takes all responsibility

i had publicly left our community after a reveal i had been lying about an identity (a joke blog), which was probably interpreted as crueler than intended

all these problems bled into each other. being autistic probably fed into my understanding of romantic feelings and how i express them. I don't think i properly conveyed that I cared about her deeply, even if i didn't understand those feelings as romantic; I admitted i had been 'using her' for sexual attention, and i was so relieved when she said she was into that. i knew that was cruel, but i told the truth because i cared about her. I didn't want to lead her on romantically when I was committed to someone over her. I was like we can maybe-sorta date casually but i encourage you to look for a serious partner who can fully prioritize you. I see ways I could have done better, but I did the best with what I had at the time.

she should not have lied to our entire friend group about being 'assaulted,' though. I cared for her deeply and the thought that I had hurt her badly caused me pain, and her utter immaturity & cruelty in handling the issue made me ashamed i had ever trusted her with pictures of my body. (seriously - she never ONCE told me I had gone too far, and then used examples me "obviously going too far" as proof of my guilt! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME!?) she caused my girlfriends immense suffering just because she couldn't handle vulnerability and i resent her deeply for it.

Basically my ideal dating environment is a harem, but i don't want anyone I'm dating or sleeping with to feel neglected just so i can feel powerful. One wife, several girlfriends (or friends, but I like to have girlfriends) I can Bite and feel sexually possessive over in a fun & sexy way, and those girlfriends can date whoever they like because everyone deserves to be someone's top priority. I just want to know the people in my care have lives outside of me and are being taken care of when I can't make that commitment, you know?

Anyway, I'm gonna make strawberry rhubarb crumble for a potluck later.

#personal

[girlthings48pt2]

A li'l about me:

What am I looking for?

I have begun posting pictures of myself recently, and I love hearing people's reactions to them. Definitely feel free to send them through. Not a fan of dick pics so please refrain from sending those (the ones who've asked so far have been absolutely respectful when I've said no, please follow their suit). If you, like me, are a woman with a MASSSIVE (or even slight) oral fixation, please feel free to message me. i would love to hear from you! and maybe we can play together in front of @tsfj. i adore making out with other girls, and we can get up to super depraved things together to entertain Him. i do understand how uncomfortable it can feel to have someone with that goal in mind approach you, so if i message you and make you uncomfortable, please don't hesitate to (politely) inform me. i also have a cuckquean fetish so finding someone who might also be willing to fulfill that role would be very nice. Definitely be over 18.

Relationship wise?

I was in an M/s dynamic for 6 years. 4.5years of that was long-distance. We were engaged and that also ended with the end of our dynamic. it was abusive and not a great example of M/s or D/s, though I still learned a lot from it, thankfully. Definitely in a much better place now. I've had other relationships than that, both kink & vanilla but that's unfortunately the most impactful one thus far. Currently serving TSFJ and very much enjoying how that's going

Me-wise?

I used to run a TNG group (the next generation) for newbies in the kink scene when I lived in Australia. I'm sort of distancing myself from the kink communities as I don't believe they're what I'm looking for at the moment.

I enjoy history, reading, writing, and going on walks with my dog. Trying to be more active and work out more. Recently discovered a surprising & unexpected enjoyment of hikes (both when there's use of my mouth on the trail and just in general... I'll let you guess which one I slightly prefer though) Otherwise I'm just a nerdy little weirdo just trying to make it through life relatively unscathed.

I believe BLM, everyone deserves healthcare, housing, and livable wages. I'm a massive feminist, so anyone who truly* believes women are inferior can take a dive off this page. Hella leftist.

My bi-romantic asexuality?

I have gotten quite a few messages about my asexuality. I'll try to explain it here for more people, and hopefully it'll make a little more sense. I can't promise to have every answer but I can tell you how it works for me and how I understand asexuality, which might differ from another asexual person. Asexuality isn't necessarily lack of libido, or not wanting to have sex. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction to other people. I can still tell when people are supposed to be attractive, for example through the media and other such avenues. For me, I realized this is probably where I fit into most. I thought about myself growing up: I read a lot and always wanted to experience the great loves in my books. I wanted that for myself in real life. Chalk it up to my hyper-Christian upbringing or whatever, but I can't ever really remember getting "turned on" over someone. I never desired to have sex with someone. The first g who kissed me definitely wanted to have sex with me. I could tell because... Well, sometimes you just know these things I definitely got that "tingly feeling" lots of people get when I was fooling around with guys, but I never wanted it to go any further than that. I have since had many different sexual experiences. I was even a sugar baby for a period of time, which sometimes included that as part of our time together. Many other aces are what's called "sex-repulsed" meaning they want nothing to do with sex and it icks them out. Me, I am a pretty sex-positive person & don't mind it occasionally. I don't enjoy people going down on me or anal, though I can sometimes enjoy p in v sex & definitely enjoy fingering when it's done right. That's where a lot of my oral fixation comes from. I've just always preferred to make the other person feel good. Plus it's just hot to have someone's fingers or other body part in your mouth I adore it. I can (sexually) play nicely with most anyone though regardless of my being ace. And the bi-romantic part comes from the fact that I could see myself falling in love with someone of any gender. Some may call that pan, but I don't identify as strongly with that for whatever reason. Hopefully that clears things up a bit if anyone else w curious. Feel free to ask me any othe questions.

#me #personal #ace

[superanxiouspotato]

Soo April is almost ending and a girlfriend still hasn't magically materialized in front of me and I think that's extremely homophobic...

Like, I know I don't start conversations because of anxiety, I know I'm not pretty or fun, BUT I'm very loyal and a great listener, I'm a bit dumb but I love to learn about literally anything if you're passionate about it and wants to share so... That should give me some points... If anyone is desperate enough, me is very desperate too

#my girlfriend #lgbtq+ #I feel like #if I wasn't asexual i wouldn't be as scared as #I am to talk *that* way #like i want a relationship #I want someone to love and call when talking to other people #but because I'm asexual everyone tells me other people deserve better than me for romantic relationship #being an asexual lesbian ain't easy guys #i'm so gay #like #super gay #i fall in love with every girl i see but... #UGH #idk #I'm lonely #I'm not romantic but i have so much love to give and no one to share it with

[asexual-society]

Hi! Sorry if I'm disturbing, but I'm in need of help. I'm a twenty-years-old girl who always thought of herself as bisexual. Last week I had a date with one of my friends, and as we said we liked each other, things got physical (hugs, kisses, touchings...). I always felt uncomfortable thinking about kissing or having sex, and I don't generally hug people; everyone always told me it was because I'm reserved and timid, and I believed them, but now I'm questioning myself. I can't imagine myself doing these things with a significant other... but my parents tell me it's because I haven't found the right person. Now, I'd really like to be with my friend romantically, but I don't want to be involved physically... as I'm not sure about my sexuality (or asexuality?), I don't even have an excuse for my behavior. I don't want to scare her away or to star a relationship where she can't get what she wants, so I don't really know what to do. I don't want to hurt her! Could you give me any advice? (I hope my writing was decent enough, as English isn't my mother tongue)

Hey anon, it sounds like you could be asexual if you don't feel any desire to be with anyone sexually, and of you're very uncomfortable with the idea of having sex, you may be sex repulsed, which is pretty common for people on the asexual spectrum. A lack of desire to kiss anyone can also be a trait of asexual people, or it could be a result of being on the aromantic spectrum. I'd also look into touch aversion, which sounds like something you might be experiencing. You don't have to be aspec to be sex repulsed or touch averse, but both can be common among asexual people.

I'm a pretty reserved and shy person, and I often find it difficult or uncomfortable initiating physical contact with people like hugs, and sometimes I don't like them at all. Occasionally I get a good hug, but most of the time it just feels weird. I tried kissing once and I wasn't a fan of that either, so I probably won't do it again, and the idea of having sex with someone makes me super uncomfortable. Society may deem this experience to be wrong in some way, but that's just how I am, and many other people are too.

If you're uncomfortable with anything though, I'd really recommend telling you're friend that before perusing anything with her. If you enjoy the dating aspect of it, that's okay, you aren't obliged to like any other parts, there's nothing wrong with not liking some forms of physical intimacy, even if you aren't on the ace or aro spectrums, but it's important to be honest with someone if you do think you'd like to be in a romantic relationship with them. If you're feeling pressure to behave a certain way that you don't want, that won't lead to anything good, you can't force yourself to suddenly be different, and you don't need to.

Unfortunately, for some people this may not be what they want out of a relationship, for some people these aspects are important to them, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you (or them), it just means you aren't compatible, just like if you were with someone who didn't want kids, when you did. That's easy for me to say from an outside perspective, but I know it can be really hard, especially with someone you care a lot about, but she's your friend first, and hopefully she'll respect you and understand that whatever happens it doesn't mean you care any less. You deserve someone who can respect your boundaries, but she deserves for you to be honest about your feelings, even if you think it might hurt her to know how you feel, it also could hurt her to know if she was making you in any way uncomfortable, and it's better to be open about your feelings now, rather than wait until you push yourself too far.

You don't need a "reason" to dislike or feel uncomfortable with certain actions, only you can determine how you feel, don't let anyone tell you how you "should" be or who you should like or that you don't know yourself better than anyone.

I really hope you can talk to your friend, that things go okay for you, and that you can feel more comfortable, please don't hesitate to send another ask if you need to (and don't worry about your English, it's good). Best of luck.

- mod key

#asks #mod key #drafted this last night so if it's incoherent then sorry #touch aversion #asexual #sex repulsed #long post

[asexualalienn]

There are so many labels and definitions out there, but all I know is that I don't fit any of the most known labels. I tend to feel very different and wrong about who I am, especially when friends talk about boy/girlfriends/sex, and movies, music etc are always on repeat about the same sex/romance stuff. I feel frustrated and sad as I'm often reminded that I'm different, weird and people don't get me. How do I deal with this kind of situation? What can I possibly do to not feel this way? Thanks!

I can't give you all the answers, I would if I could, but what I can do you give you advice and tell you what worked for me! For a while, I felt the same way that you do, and it took me a long time to figure out how to make myself feel ok about all the romance and sexual content that seems to be everywhere you look. What helped me is deciding to just say screw it, I'm different, and it hurts sometimes and the world isn't always kind to people like me, and favors others over me but who cares? I definitely don't, I'm different and that's what makes me, me! My struggles, my pain, everything I've gone through has shaped me to be what I am, for better or for worse. I see stuff on a daily basis that reminds me that I'm strange to others, that my experience isn't what most people go through, and there's nothing I can do about that except put myself out there, and support the people that do have the same experience. If I hear a love song, why not give it my own meaning? The love song that talks about a partner to everyone else, could talk to me about the feelings I get when I watch something special to me. The show that has what is probably way too many sex scenes in it is now funny because, oh look, the writers are at it again! Making things awkward and embarrassing for so many people watching it together. (I mean, really, are people actually able to write a sex scene and go “Yes, this is good. I'm not embarrassed or uncomfortable in the least!” it doesn't make sense in my mind)

Your different, and that's ok. If you weren't, you wouldn't be you! You're special in your own way, and that's how its meant to be. Would life be as fun if we were weren't asexual? I really don't think so. I have so much extra time because I'm not focused on sexual or romantic stuff, what's important to me is different because I don't have the same thoughts as others when it comes to sex and romance (which is more important to a lot of people than you would think! It takes up a decent amount of time from what I've noticed from friends and family) 

I have walked with my cousin to a girls house, 7 miles in the dark because he didn't want to walk there alone, just so he could go and have some “fun” with her. 4 hours of walking. Aren't you glad you don't feel the need to do something like that? I sure am! So many people with sexual attraction and romantic attraction talk about how important and nice it is and that it's sad that we don't feel those things, but it's not important or nice to all of us. Sometimes we feel like we're missing out because of what we’re told, but in all honestly, we really aren't missing out. Yes, we have a different experience but that doesn't mean we're missing something. I spend my time with my cats, or watching entertaining shows or reading or playing games, and all those things fill me with more happiness than any sexual attraction or romantic attraction ever has (i experienced both a long time ago, even though I no longer do, I promise it's not as great as everyone says, at least to me)

And on the topic of your friends, if its really bothering you, you have the right to ask them to not talk what bothers you when they're around you, at least for a little while so you can figure out how to handle your feelings. What helps me with stuff like that is that when my friends ask for advice, I can give them something other people cant. My view on boyfriends and girlfriends and sex is different from what most people think. Were different and in certain situations that can make what we have to offer more important. Our judgment seems to be a little bit less clouded when it comes to stuff like that, as long as we don't feel strongly about it positively or negatively, were more neutral, and can offer opinions and thoughts that others can't. It's a good thing that your asexual, your unique and can give your friends something special, and can have a completely different life than what's expected. Being able to help my friends makes me feel better, even if I don't like what they're talking about, maybe it'll help you too!

Try to remember that even though a lot of what we see in our day to day life can make us feel like we're wrong and that we're missing out on something huge, we’re just like any other person when it comes down to it. We love different things, we care about different things. There's no hole in your heart that needs to be filled by having romantic or sexual attraction, that spot in your heart is just meant for something else!

Most people won't understand you, and that's not their fault (unless they just won't listen to what you're trying to tell them) they dont deal with your feelings and your thoughts, they deal with their own. You won't understand everyone else, it's a two way street. But, you can always find people that understand you, or are willing to listen and try. It can seem so impossible, and after all this time I'm still have trouble finding people that can understand me or are willing to listen, but it's possible. You can do it, you're not alone, there will always be people that understand you, even if they're hard to find.

If none of what I've said helps you at all, then try to think of stuff like this. Would you hurt another person that feels like you do? Would you find them weird, or gross, or wrong because of who they are? If the answer is no, then why would you treat yourself like that? Your just as important as others, you deserve the same respect and kindness, especially from yourself. 

I'm not sure if this is the kind of response you wanted, or if I even answered everything you wanted answered in the right way and I kind of feel like I just repeated myself over and over again?? But, I hope this helps you, I'm sorry if I didn't respond how you wanted!! Please take care of yourself, your special, your important, your not gross or weird and its ok to feel differently than others!!

- Mod Raven

#Anonymous

[cartooness]

‘I am NOT blushing, it’s just warm in here.’ For the masonder drabbles pls?

"Alright, Lav. You can do this, he's right there. Just go up to him and ask him out! Can't be that hard... right?"

Lavender was nervous beyond belief, she's never done anything like this before. But she's read enough books to know that to move the plot along, you've gotta go for it or you'll be screaming in frustration later.

Mason Adalbert. The one boy who could send her heart a flutter and turn her whole being to mush with a smile. He didn't seem like the kind of boy "girls like her" would go for; but she didn't give any fucks about that. He was cute as a button, smart, was super kind, and drank his respect women juice. Did she mention he was absolutely adorable?

She fixed her collar, adjusted her romper, and tousled her hair a bit. Here goes nothing.

"Mason."

He looked up from cleaning his glasses. "Yeah?"

fUCk he's cute, "Um. I was, um, hoping that. Um.", 'God I'm going nowhere, just cut to the chase.' she thought to herself. "Would you go out with me? Uh, please?"

He looked at her with a blank stare as he adjusted his glasses, "Me? Are. Are you sure?" 'Of course it's you!', she hastily thought.

"Yes, you. I'm sure of it. I um.. would really like to go out with you."

His cheeks flushed red and he gave a shy smile. "Yes. I'd love to. Where.... were ya thinking of going?"

Time for her plan! "Well, I was thinking of going to the roller rink tomorrow because it's Half Price Thursday. Plus, I've never been and I just thought it'd be fun... and yeah." God, she hoped she didn't look or sound too awkward.

"Ooh that does sound like fun, Lavender! What time were you thinking of-"

Ah, shit, Sheila's coming...

"Well, well, well, look at what we've got here! A goth wannabe prude asking out a boring little prude nerd. What a perfect pair, I'll bet-"

Lavender bared her claws, "Sheila Anderson get the fuck out of my face before I slice your damn neck off."she growled.

"Jeez bitch, calm down, I was just leaving", replied Sheila, annoyance and fear in her voice.

"Good." And with that, Lav went back to her business. "I'm so sorry Mason, I HATE when she talks to people like that, especially people I... like. Um, i was thinking around 5:30. Will that work for you?"

"Uhh yeah, that sounds good! Let me just, um, write it down really quick in my Little Tiny Journal for Various Things. ((Authors note, I actually have a notebook that says that on me at all times. XD))"

"Alrighty! It's a date! See ya then, bye! One of my dads should be here by now to, uh, pick me up haha."

He pulled her into a quick hug, "Bye Lav!"

...

She shouldn't have said a single thing. Lav had just come home to a small swarm of deadbeats, and not quite thinking, she spilled the beans about her upcoming date with Mason to them. But the thing about them is, they're like little kids; they'll repeat what they hear to anyone who'll listen. Excited about the news, they roamed around telling everyone in HQ that 'Lavender has a date with a boy tomorrow!' over and over again.

"Dang it, now I'll probably have to deal with- oh no he's pounding on my door."

"LAVENDER DEARIE, PLEASE LET ME IN, I HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE BITS AND DETAILS ABOUT YOUR DATE!! OH MY GODS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR-"

"Calm down Decan, you're going to break down my door!! Come in, we'll talk, I promise."

She let him in and he immediately started asking his burning questions, "Who is it!? Who's the lucky lad!? I'm all ears!!" With a sigh, she prepared herself to answer his 300 questions. "Well, it's Mason,-"

"HAH!! I KNEW IT!! LEWIS, YOU OWE ME 20 DOLLARS!!" he exclaimed.

"Um. Alright then. Mason and I are going to the roller rink tomorrow at 5:30 for Half Price Thursday."

"Ooh! I have a couple of outfit ideas that will make him fall head over heels for you~" he replied, ready to plan.

"Fine. But I get to choose the shoes."

"Deal! Let's see what they are so I can plan accordingly!"

She phased through her walk in closet and pulled out her choice of shoes, recieving a slight grimace from Decan. "These ones. I insist."

Decan took a large inhale, "Darling, I  L O V E  you, but I'm starting to regret that deal... I just... can't quite DEAL with those shoes... but! I like a challenge, so let's see what I can do!"

The shoes in question were knee high tye dye Converse in the demi romantic and asexual flag colors, but the green and purple colors were neon; not the easiest thing to match, that's for sure.

What felt like AGES later, Decan found an outfit consisting of a shin length black dress with lavender lace trim on the bottom, completed with sheer tights. He looked as if he was in the nth dimension, proud to have accomplished an impossible seeming task. "I DID IT!!! FINALLY!!!"

"Yes you did! I feel cute uwu."

"Well, you ARE cute!" he replied, stating his facts.

"....fine. I'll let you have it this ONE time." she replied, a small blush on her face.

"Alrighty then! Let's go downstairs, everyone is a buzz with excitement about your first date~"

So downstairs they went, and about four seconds later E V E R Y O N E was shooting the same rapid fire question,

"LAV WHO ARE YOU GOING ON A DATE WITH?!?!"

With a sharp inhale, she spilled the tea, "I'm going on a date with Mason, he's the cutie I'm always talking about." 

"And YOU, LEWIS PEPPER, OWE ME TWENTY BUCKAROOS!! FORK IT OVER!!" bellowed Decan, thrilled to have predicted correctly for once.

A slight grumble was heard from the back of the living room, and an annoyed deadbeat swarmed over with a twenty dollar bill and put it in Decan's waiting hands, "thank you!!~"

Everyone shared their excitement for the girl, along with a bit of worry about what could happen, but Lavender assured them that Mason is a very kind person. Plus, if anything happens, she always has a way to get out of a situation; magic and her amazing combat skills.

...

The day had come, and Lav had just been dropped off at the roller rink. She began looking for Mason until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Hey! Looking for me?~" he announced, playful smirk on his face.

"Actually, yes. Sorry to keep you waiting, one of my dads took a bit longer than I thought doing my makeup... but hey! I'm not technically late, it's only 5:19." she replied.

"Oh please, you're worth the wait."

"What?"

"What?"

Both teens had a dusting of red on their faces, standing in an awkward silence.

"Umm, you look very nice! Love the shoes, must've taken ages to match haha." Mason chimed, nervously laughing.

"Aww, thank you. My Papa Decan almost gave in trying to find something, twas funny." she replied.

"Lav?"

"Yeah?"

"How. How many dads do you have, um, exactly? Are they polyamorous or, uh, something to that extent?" he asked, curious.

"Oh, that! No, they're not all poly, I'm adopted and a bunch of people have shared custody over me, so I basically have like, a dozen parents at this point pretty much. And all but two are men, so that's why I have a bunch of dads. Funny thing is, they're all in their mid-to-late twenties, so they're not quite on that 'dad age level' but I don't care. They all make bad jokes and are very caring so... yeah, haha. Don't tell anyone, but I'd totally do anything for them, all my caretakers. I love them a lot, and they all love me a lot, and I don't deserve them most of the time." she warmly replied, softly smiling to herself. Mason felt his cheeks warm up and his eyes were likely shining.

"Awww, that's so sweet! Also, you SO deserve each other! I like to think that things usually happen for some reason one way or another, and I think it's wonderful that they found you and that you all care for each other so much! Wh-why are you crying? Are you alright?"

She touched her face and realized 'yep those are mascara tears alright.'

"Oh, um, I'm okay. Sorry, I didn't even see I was crying. Um, let's, um, go inside, it's getting dark... or something. Haha." Lav replied, trying to move the date along.

"Oh, um, ok. Do you... want a hug?" he asked, trying to make her feel better.

"Yes please, I'd love that."

And with that, he pulled her into a warm hug, taking in each others warmth with a smile. 'She smells like warm apple pie... no wonder she's so wonderful...'

After what felt like An eternity, they departed and both were blushing messes.

"Um-"

"I am NOT blushing, it's just warm in here." snapped Lav, not sure what to do with these... warm,,, happy static feelings.

"Wait, you're  B L U S H I N G?? You look so cute though!" he replied back, smile in his eyes.

"Wha, uh, I-I do NOT!!",she sputtered, blushing deeper, "YOU'RE the cutie here! With your beautiful silver eyes, your soft caramel hair, and your breathtaking smile that I like so much! Not to mention, you're SUPER smart and nice and, and, GENUINE!! Do you know how many times literal DIRTBAGS have tried to flirt with me? They're always weird and gross and I do NOT like it, and I don't like how it's easily accepted for them to be all... X rated all the time!! Like, it may be cause I'm ace and repulsed by s*xual stuff, but still! Don't be gross, people!" she outburst, recieving some strange glances.

"*sigh*, I'm sorry Mason, let's go inside now, people are staring and I don't want them to do anything to you." she softly spoke, gently holding his back for him to follow her.

"...thank you. For, um, everything. It means a lot to me, stuff like that. Again, thank you so much.", he whispered, not sure what to say or do. "...am I making this, uh, awkward for you, Lavender? I'm really sorry if I am-"

"No, you're fine it's, uh, all good. Let's go get skates and such already, haha." she nervously replied, finally walking inside.

...

They were having a surprisingly good time, despite the shaky beginning. Both were doing laps around the rink, holding onto the perimeter every ten seconds due to fear of falling. But they got the hang of it, carefully skating around. They kept tapping hands, unsure of whether or not it was appropriate to join them together. Finally, Mason went in for the kill and took ahold of her hand. She felt a smile creep up her face, and held his hand back.

"Your hand fits nicely into mine, ya know." he smiled.

"Yeah. It does." she replied back, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles, and him in return blushing like crazy. "Aww, you're so cute when you're blushing, Mason."

WELL THAT TOOK FOREVER LMAO. Sorry for the excessive length, it turned into a full on fic lol. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!!

Also Decan belongs to @thefearanddespair

EDIT: This is for the Villain!Lav AU, I forgot to mention it lol

#mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #cartooness writes sometimes #lavender grey #mason adalbert #masonder #villain!lav au #writing stuff

[shesthewindandsea]

Ace/Aro Acceptance in the LGBT+ Community

Hey kids so recently I read on a blog that I follow that the person running it doesn't accept ace/aros as queer or part of the LGBT community.

They brought up a few points which, coming from a person who is neither ace or aro, (I'm not going to say it's difficult to understand because it's not but) it's different and you need to process and learn about what it's like to not want sex or a romantic relationship. Everything is a learning curve. You won't just realize over night but you should know that aros and aces are queer. It's not a complex thing

I replied and stated my opinion (and forgot to put myself on anon after the first one oh well) but the person didn't post all of my response because it was rather long and she didn't wanna spam which is understandable. However, the main point of my sharing was to reach other people and not necessarily change the person's mind so! I'm just going to post everything on here even if it won't reach as many people. My main point is that aces/aros are queer and belong to the LGBT community. You are loved and supported here and you belong no matter what!!!

*our

About the lack of sexual/romantic desires : you're essentially implying that because you have sexual and/or romantic desires your deserve your seat at the table. Because you have sexual/romantic desires you have proven you can be part of the community, that you are in fact queer. Because I'm biromantic ace, I'm somehow less worthy because of my asexuality but my biromantic identity allows me to say I'm queer. So when I'm explaining myself to people am I or am I not queer? Saying biromantic asexual is a lot more explaining than "I'm queer". You're excluding us because of our sexual and romantic identities because we don't fit your definition. Why are you better than me just because you want sex and I don't? I understand that you said we're valid but it doesn't really feel that way. I don't deserve to be apart of your group because I'm not queer enough.

About societal pressure: I get what you're saying. That ace/aros don't as marginalized or excluded in society. But first of all that's generally because people don't know we exist. Tell me how many characters you know that are confirmed ace/aro? Now tell me how many are gay or bi? Probably more. Representation of the LGBT community is lacking all over the place, no doubt, but ace/aros are probably one of, if not the most underrepresented parts in any form of media aside from gender fluid people. Now, I can assure it more people knew about ace/aros there would be a lot more shit to trudge through because there is so much to go through and help yourself accept about being ace/aro I can't imagine what it would be like if we had more people know we existed. Gays, bis, pans, what have you already get enough for feeling romantic and/or sexual attraction to the opposite gender or more than one. Can you imagine people trying to comprehend the fact that someone doesn't want sex or a romantic relationship with ANYONE. People find it hard to understand and when people are confused they lash out.

Besides that, societal pressure to have be in a relationship and especially to have sex with someone when you DO NOT WANT TO OR FEEL VIOLENTLY UNCOMFORTABLE IS OPPRESSION. Just because the oppression and discrimination I face is different than yours doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

This community is not about having enough queerness or feeling oppressed enough to be able to sit at the table. It's about accepting those who feel rejected because of something we can't control: the people we want and love and that's exactly what you're doing. Aros/aces want and love themselves and don't need other people and that's completely fine and doesn't give you a reason to throw us out to fend for ourselves. As someone who is neither ace or aro, I realize that it can be hard to understand what we go through and I'm not trying to be patronizing. But your ignorance on the matter is causing you to exclude other people from something that gives them a sense of security and comfort. I think you should do some more research or send questions to ace/aro blogs. Make it clear you're not being rude, you just want to learned and understand. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions or talk to you more. I don't know if this will change your mind but I'm here for you.

My last few statements stand for anyone else seeing this post. If you want to ask questions, ask me or find someone you're comfortable asking. The lgbtq community is here to support one another, not to pick who gets to join like it's an exclusive club. We're people are we need support just like everyone else! 🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

#lgbtqa #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtpride #lgbti #ace post #bi ace #ace positivity #ace pride #ace spectrum #aro #asexuality #asexual #aromantic #aromantism #aromance #aroace #aro pride #aro post #important!!!! #im trying not to be angry or upset #but like #i cant see how you'd turn your back on people just bc you personally don't believe something #who are you to say we cant be part of the community

[aroworlds]

As an Aro ace person I'm starting to really hate the ace community . I hate that Ace is umbrella, I hate that I have to use two words to explain I'll never be attracted to anyone ever and hence will spend my life alone . I feel the community is to obsessed with proving they still love that they need to pretend aro aces don't exist . And it leaves my soul hurting . I'm at the brink of suicide these days and it sucks because I don't know where I belong anymore and I'm feeling inhuman daily x.x

Anon, it breaks my heart that you’ve felt the need to send this in. It breaks my heart, because nobody should feel this way. Nobody should feel so isolated from and discouraged by their own community. This conversation shouldn’t be happening, anon, and that’s not on you–it never was and never will be. It’s on a situation, a shape of the community, and I think it says something profound that a few posts are generating other conversations and frustrations right now–I’ve seen it on this blog and on several others. I’ve seen it on several blogs just today!

I have a sense of a cork that’s been popped off the bottle, a hurt and a pain we’ve been holding in for too long coming out.

And I think that’s a good thing, because it’s time, past time, we had real conversations about the impact. That it isn’t a few aro-specs grinding their teeth and writing ranty posts about aro erasure. That this erasure and dismissal, this long-running amatonormativity and centering of romantic love (how many times have I seen alloromantic aces describe asexuality as “love without sexual attraction”?) has the potential to cause real wounds, real suffering, real isolation, real disconnect from a community that should provide support, real damage. Amatonormativity isn’t just fielding off questions from relatives about when we’re going to get married. Amatonormativity tells us that we are not the kind of humans society considers worthwhile, and you can’t live in this world without that weighing down on you.

None of us, not one of us, are strong enough not to be damaged by that: no human is or can be. It isn’t a failure in us. It’s a failure in everyone else. Some of us are better at hiding it, and some of us channel that pain into ranty posts or spite-motivated creativity, but we are all hurt by it.

Too many alloromantics brush off amatonormativity and the centring of alloromantic attraction as nothing, but it isn’t, and right now we deal with the pain of having our pain dismissed as nothing, even in spaces that are, ostensibly, meant to include us. It hurts worse from alloromantic aces because it feels like they should be better able to understand; ace-spec spaces feel like they should be more welcoming than they are. And I think it’s okay to feel hurt and even betrayed by that. We endure hate from outside together, all a-specs; we have every right to expect support, instead of erasure, inside.

Anon, as someone who deals with suicidal ideation myself, I do not miss the immense bravery it took from you to write about your pain and the way it makes you feel. But I want to thank you, too, for having the courage to be honest and real, to stand up as an example, to shine a real light on where erasure leads us.

I don’t have simple solutions to problems like the pressure of using ace as an umbrella term. (I’ve seen plenty of aro-aces talk about how they’d prefer to ID as aro alone but cannot because it isn’t accepted, and their loathing of ace as an umbrella term. If you feel this, I’d truly appreciate it if you could comment on this post as solidarity for our anon, because I know they’re not alone.) I also know that there are no simple solutions to mental illness and suicidal ideation, and they do not make amatonormativity easier to bear. I do think, though, that pride is the one real weapon we can bring to bear against a socialized worthlessness–pride and community.

As much as I don’t need an excuse to promote the aro-spec artist profiles, anon, I’d like you to go check them out. Read what other talented aros–including several aro-aces–are writing about being aro and creative. Go click on the links to their work–an awful lot of them have works available for free. There’s art and there’s stories, stories about aro-spec experiences, stories about resisting amatonormativity, stories about aro-spec and aro-ace feelings. Stories that normalise. We’re just getting started on building this canon, but it’s already a defiant cry that we are normal, we are wonderful, we are human, and it’s only going to get better.

(Likewise, check out all the fiction pieces submitted and reblogged here. Or the poetry. Or the artwork and visual pieces!)

Anyone who’s following this blog knows I write, that I tell stories. I do it because the world tells me that I don’t get to be the hero, that I am not deserving of being the hero, so I’ll break my hands on my words screaming fuck that. Even better, there’s a whole bunch of other aro-spec and aro-ace storytellers here who are doing the same. But I’ll tell you one thing I’ve learnt: it is easier, so much easier, to survive anything when there’s other people beside you. Stories are that person beside you. Stories are other aro-specs’ hopes and dreams.

I wouldn’t be alive today if not for the hope in the storytelling of others. It’s not enough by any means, but I hope it is the beginning of a feeling that the world, when it comes to aro-specs, is a thousand kinds of wrong and we do not have to listen to what it teaches us. If we can feel that, this kernel of understanding that amatonormativity is not only damaging but nonsensical against a world of wonderful and amazing and loved aro-spec people, it’s a little bit easier to survive it.

Anon, I know the aro-spec community alone isn’t enough for you, and it absolutely should not have to be, but I hope we here, at least, can work on making this space more supportive and welcoming of you. I want you here and I want you to belong here. If you are aro-spec in any way, this community is for you, and if we are not doing a good enough job of being welcoming to our own, come in and tell me, tell us. Because a community that isn’t devoted to celebrating and sheltering all our own, however different your experiences as an aro-spec may be from mine, isn’t one I wish to be part of.

Thank you so much, anon, for trusting me with your story.

(If folks are looking at starting spaces specifically for the support of aro-aces who feel alienated by the ace-spec community, please let me know and I’ll signal boost here. I may not be around a lot over the next week because I have a personal situation with my family that is unexpectedly on the precipice of being very awful, but I’ll get to it as soon as I can.)

#anon #ask #text #not media #discussion post #aro erasure #aroace #acespec community frustrations #suicidal ideation mention #mental illness #broader aspec discussions #aspec community #personal #mod chatter #arospec community #long post #very long post #extremely long post #aromanticism and asexuality

[dailyaspecpositive]

Okay so, I think I might be arospec. I'm still not sure if "fully aro" or aroflux. Thing is, I know I'm asexual and sex-averse (i don't mind seeing it, im not repulsed by it, but i don't want it for myself). I have a boyfriend, who is allo (sexual and romantic) and he gets that I'm ace, but I haven't told him about being aro, because I don't know how. I feel like there's some internalized arophobia going on as well, seeing as I always want a relationship when I don't have one... 1/? -💎

“… and want out of it when I’m in a relationship. I appreciate my bf, I like him, I like spending time with him, but I’m not in love with him. It’s not that I want to break up with him, bc the *relationship* doesn’t bother me, it just bothers me that i don’t love him like that. I know I’m not attracted to him in any way, but my brain just doesn’t want to accept it. I also know there’s nothing wrong with being aro(ace), but I can’t help but feel it…. and if I’m telling myself I’m not bc of internalized stuff, or if I’m just not attracted to him. (although i’ve never been in love or felt attraction towards anyone). I think I just need advice on how to *know*, maybe other people’s experiences, tips on how to fight internalized phobias and people that reassure me it’s *okay* to feel the way I do. I know other people can’t put a label on me from this little information, but I need help! .. so if anyone knows a label I could maybe look into, to try and define myself, understand myself better, please tell me! Also every bit of advice, positivity, help, etc. is welcome. I just want to feel good in my own skin, and feel confident about my identity. so please please please help me out?“

It sounds to me at least like you might enjoy being close to this person but feel pressured to perform romantic attraction you don’t feel. Both frayromantic and lith/akoiromantic may be labels you would find useful.

It’s up to you what you want to do about this, whether or not you come out to him etc. What you feel about being/not being in relationships may be due to feeling stifled/pressured while in them yet missing the emotional closeness when you don’t have one. Looking into queerplatonic relationships might be beneficial to you, as these can fill your need for emotional closeness while not requiring you to pretend you feel romantic attraction.

It is more than okay to feel the way you do, and everyone deserves to have their social/emotional needs met regardless of whether they feel romantic attraction. I recommend you seek out aro-specific blogs to follow, maybe join an aro discord, and just generally do lots of research and try to immerse yourself in aro positivity. It’s important to take the time to come out to yourself and find peace with your identity, this might be something you want to do before you come out to anyone else so that you know what will have to change for you to be comfortable. - Mod Kricketot

#asks #💎