#but at least they look like trees lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some fantasy traveler inventory details (like what they would carry in their bags), based on two of the recent costumes I did.. love finding random little scraps and items and putting them together lol

#it's obvious who's is who's since they match their outfits HOWEVER.. consider if they were switched lol #evil villain looking man carrying around pressed flowers in a cutesy lacy pouch #fantasy costume #what's in my bag #actualyl that would have been funny to make a video. I should make a video #I'm sure someone else has already done this #but like.. lifestyle vlogger type content however I'm dressed in fully costume as some weird elf or something #pulling things out of my bag and showing them to the camera and talking about how they're useful for whatever #but it's all fantasy scenarios and talking like it's very common #'and of course. i know it's a bit cliche #EVERY traveler has one of these. but you know. theyre just useful! thats why everyone has one!' *pulls out a completely unrecognizable item #thats like some weird fantasy world prop and doesn't even explain it because In-world it's normal and wouldnt need to be talked about* #'room tour' video and it's just like 'yeah I sleep on this mat under a bunch of trees uh.. over here by these rocks. at least right now. I #kind of wander around a bit. so' #Like a clothing haul but it's a potions shop haul or something and they ramble about some obscure drama in the potions community and how the #y hard to barter and steal and entire flock of sheep or something just to get one of them. etc. etc. #I could do ones for different characters too like. multiple people from different walks of life showing what they carry around with them. #just like this but more interview sort of vlog format instead of photos #This is where not having much money and not having my own house with land becomes an issue though #I think it would take you out of the illusion if the background was always the same. I can make small sets because there's one blank wall in #a room that it's easy to move all the stuff away from in front of and clear a spot and like hang up fabrics or whatever but still.. hmms #So one of those 'fun idea but dubious about handling the execution' things. also One Of Those Things where without looking it up you're 100% #sure it's already been done and you don't want to look weird since it's vaguely niche. Like if 100 people have done something it's fine but #if only like 3 other people have then you look weird maybe ghhjbj.. or only one other person gods forbid. looks even weirder potentially #Or do people not care about ''copying'' anymore?? idk. I'm not updated with the internet's changing culture. I just have a fear of accidenta #lly doing something like that and then people getting mad even though it's really just that I competely had no idea it had been done because #again.. I live under a rock and am unaware of everything lol. ANYWAY. also would require my face being on video which I don't like. Though I #would be in costume so that helps. I think to be fully comfortable I'd need light modifications to make my face look different. which isn't #hard but is more effort when it has to be translatable in multiple angles. ANYWAY. ghjbhj... Now I think it would be funny actually. maybe #one day. I haven't made any videos (aside from on the gameplay/sims channel) in a long long time actually. hmm'st

[artkaninchenbau]

His Blade ⚔️  [Speedpaint] [Commissions]  [Patreon]  [Ko-Fi Shop]

#My art #Look at this crinkle paper ass looking cat #Drew it the other day and fucking loved it like. That's a Creature if I ever saw one #And I was like I need to this scrunkle honor. I must do a full illustration with 'em #So here I am #Skrunkly be upon ye #I did originally kind of envision with his with dead trees in the back and corpses surrounding the cat with a bloody hand near the blade #Lowkey implying the sword belonged to a fallen knight and the cat was protecting it from an unknown danger #But IDK I didn't have the energy to draw that much shit in this #One set of armor was enough I don't wanna draw MORE knights at once #But yeah although I was too lazy to commit to it I think that might explain some of The Vibes with the illustration #And shit like the red sky and the wind etc #As you can see in the speedpaint I did try to draw flames in the background and have like more dramatic lighting #But 1) it looked like ass and 2) I did kind of originally want to go with a flat little-to-no-shading look with this #IDK I was feeling inspired by some artists on Twitter #IDK drawing this was a weird experience of me both half-assing it and putting so much fucking effort into it all at once #I'm not sure I'm happy with how it turned out in the end but at least it turned out and in the end that's all I can really ask for lol

[syrupyyyart]

tree

#just exploring motley background ideas #im so so bad at drawing environments so im trying to engineer a style that is very simple and easy for me to draw but still looks good #my art #motley #possibly my least interesting post lol #i dont know how to tag this either #tree #uhhh. thats all i got #this was just a test for water trees and the sky. i think i like it so i guess ill move onto designing some buildings #cries

[crehador]

IN A MINDLESS AUTOPLAY DAZE I HAVE SOMEHOW RETURNED TO 12. GIRL HELP I NEED TO GET BACK DOWN

#ok ok ok this is fine #it's still very early in the event other people will definitely catch up lmao #but i do feel a bit like i've just climbed a tree without looking down #suddenly looked #and was much higher up the ground than expected lol #i think i can keep climbing actually. only at 30mil-ish points right now #and last time when i got 13 it was with 199mil points #so probably i can keep going to at least like... at least 100mil for now without worrying about it #and then hover around 31 in the final days

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶 #maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

[seancamerons]

OMG YOUR SEMMA COSTUME, I CAN'T <3

thanks! i had a blast. 🌸💕💐

#asks #simonspiervsthehomosapiensagenda #💌 tysm for the ask!! #the hair was a dauntng task to say the least #i got a lot of compliments on the 12 dollar shein (18 when all was said and done) #i diyed it #it was a fun night #pt 2 on tuesday - tomorrow night the curlers are going in #sleepsleep and then showtime #hairspray bump it from 2009 and then the makeup #lots of glitter #like 3-4 babies breaths from dollar tree purple roses and lots of cursing my hair for being problematic initally and a lot alot alot of #backcombing and with all that - my hair is gonna hate me this week #i got a lot of compliments tho even if not everything registered #i got a girl saying she thought i was a bridesmaid (half true) #i had one calling me a prom queen (valid) #i had one saying looks like my bridesmaids dress from my best friends wedding 30 40 years ago (there were young and old guests at this venu #i got about 3 people who were like OMG #or when they'd ask i say well it's supposed to be #then i get the questions lol #casual fans all “i didn't know about this emma or sean i knew about drake tho” or “i wasn't allowed to watch that!” or they started late #like post next gen boiling point #they couldn't believe it was from shein either #bc it didnt look bad to them #it was so much fun though #hopefully the tuesday halloween night will be smoother sailing dressing up #so excited! #pictures to come #:) #i mean barbie was popular queens and scary things are the norm but a random girl from a random episode from a canadian series

[merlyn-bane]

I've only ever had baptists show up at my door twice now since I moved to California, the first time was while I was working on the Jangobi segment of the omegaverse Obi-Wan series and the second was just now while working on Foelu 😂😂😂

#one of those 'if i had two nickles' types of situations haha #look god dude if this is some kind of sign you are barking up the wrong tree #if this is what sends me to hell at least i entertained some people along the way lol #also like the fucking audacity to just straight up ignore the no soliciting sign

[paruecake]

So ever since I started getting back into art, I feel like my eyeballs can't unsee brush strokes when I'm looking at digital art. Like, hoh, I can tell that the artist used a round brush there 👀 Which is cool but also very distracting.

Anyway, I've been rewatching That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime and I've been staring at the backgrounds and I naively thought to myself, hey that looks kinda simple, maybe I can do that too. Things were going okay with the tree leaves, but when I went to do the actual trunk, chaos ensued. Everything I tried looked like absolute shit. So I decided to do it the same way I did the leaves.

Then when I went to do the backgrounds, the same thing happened. I tried to do the mountains in a different style, and that also ended up looking terrible. And same with the clouds.... lol. So I just sort of decided to do everything in an overly cartoony way. Not sure if it's better or worse, but I definitely hate it less than what I had going before.

#art #original #my art #.png #anyway this was kinda fun but also a struggle #i don't think i really improved on the tree trunk but at least it's more matchy #artistic license I guess ?!?!?! #i really need to get better at shading and shit too ugh. the mountains feel like a tragedy to look at rip #anyway doing everything round and using only two brushes is super fun i highly recommend lol #this is basically an art diary entry lol #man maybe i should make a tag for that #art diary #scenery

[fissions-chips]

the prettiest poison you’ve ever seen

#those patterns KILLED me but hey at least it’s finished. could have probably touched it up a little more but this was just for fun lol #now he’s as toxic on the outside as he is on the inside #probably ​likes to lounge about in the trees and snatch up people when they wander by #i don’t know how he would still have the glasses but they are essentially to The Valentine Look so. they stay. #scribblings #oc: valentine #gorgon AU #i wanna draw more snakes soon their noodle bodies are so fun

[vermillioncrown]

Okay I've got to ask, why was Kuroko frustrated with Kagami after Momoi left? It's been driving me crazy.

hmmm would you look at that, kuroko pov will explain it all 🤭🤭🤭

and later chapters, i think

#inquiry #missingjadesnake #on bil #or at least i hope #those really really really familiar w canon can probably extrapolate #or it might be a case of individual madness where no one else interprets the characters like this idk lol #look i know i talk a lot about every which thing #but this is so... spoiler territory #it will get answered #bc while people are like 'wow kagami's so mature and not in need of the same type of growth' #it's not like the people around him are stagnant #(he's also not stagnant. but growth looks more subtle on a big tree than it does a tiny sapling)

[esoraluco]

An exercice which was a mix of study and reinterpretation, with plants I like and also happen to be in wy Cyber World hc.

Featuring some. Guys for scale? Don’t know who they are

#me? worldbuilding for a world that isnt mine? Yeah but. Palm tree light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #spamblue #I GUESS LOLLLLLLLLLLL sorry it would feel empty without them- for me at least #blue is confused in the third pic bc. by our standards it's like looking at a transparent plant and going 'embryo' #like he wasn't ready for such a comment. #maybe more to come? not sure. So far the only thing else i can think of are my hc of minerals on the cyber cliffs but lol #o #spamton #spamton g spamton #Blue addison #dltr #dlrow rebyc

[despite-everything]

waiiiitttttt okay so my hairs pretty short rn but i have a tiny bit of length on top like its not buzzed. should i try growing it out as a deathhawk??? idk man

#LOVE the look but im fucking lazy so idk if id ever actually style it #plus i have 2 weddings im in this may and need to like... not cause problems there lol #my tattoos and piercings are already going to be controversial enough #and my hair grows super slow so i need to be thinking about that now #like it grows maybe half an inch a month #nah actually less than that #like a 1/3 and inch #anyway... its not going to be long by may by no means #but im wondering what shape i should be taking it in #whatever ive got at least a month now before i'll want to trim anything so i have time to think #tree talks

[loverboybitch]

hi yall im back from being in the woods for two days with some of my friends and every part of me is so sore and tired and exhausted but i had such a nice time, also this is pretty much the only pic i took on my phone before it died. could not tellu who that is or what was happening but it might be my friend falling into the lake cause he tried to stand in a kayak while drunk.//.

#imjustsittinghere #uploads #literally slept on the doc under only a blanket and the stars it was very beautiful except for the mosquittos #we made all our meals in a cast iron pan in the campfire < #very cool little day we just kayaked around and got wreckedlol #wish i could have like a decompress session lol 1 because i am exhausted but 2 because feelings and my friends both said some things to me #while absolutly off their fiucking rockers #my one friend going 'NO shut up i need to vibe with shane rn. listen. we wont remember any of this but i hope we grow old together' #baby......baby!!!! u mighta done too much k and not remember but baby i remember<3 same <3 #my other frined who i have always thought is jus so cool and charismatic n hot stopping me mid sentence to say 'god ur so much cooler thanme #shutup!!!!!!!!! but also i love you thank you <3 #anyway anyway im a little sunburnt n i have to fucking work a shift tonight lol shoot me in the dome please #but also im so tired n sore n i want to lay in bed and have someone rub my back honestly #oh lastly will probably elaborate at some point but yo just not being able to get texts cause i had no service then my phone died #for two days was like...blis.......... #whenever we werent doing something iwas jus looking at the stars or thinkin or getting firewood r somethn #was a grand ol time <3 also cause we wantd to do bushcraft shit #we endedup making a torch out of tree sap and some old carpet and yarn and it kinda worked!!! for like 15 minutes at least! #definetly coulda been better but good first try #also some of the sap dripped onto my hand and i have a big gross blister burn scab thing gross ouchie

[thebuttsmcgee]

so. um. 👉👈

hi guysies.

Ig I should just say like. Hi

I haven't been posting here as much cause. Idk. Might be depression? I keep thinking its cause I've been so busy, which also wouldn't be not untrue, but these past, like, 3 weeks I think so far? I've had some free time but I haven't cause. I dunno, then again, I haven't been doing too much in general? I gues, besides very mandatory things, hell I've even been lacking in my regular skyrim hours of playing.

That, and as said, I get super melancholic when I remember just how sad and bittersweet it is that t0h is. Actually legit over. The show and experience, that is.

Oh all that and also becuz my headphones broke! Fuck! That's like number 2 in my bare necessities for when I post, do almost anything really! It's seriously been painful this past month going without headphones holy shit. Dude I've been scratching at the bit for some relief for headphones, I NEED music legitimately. Even right now, as I'm typing this on my phone, my music is on low levels.

But yerp. Its been. Rough. Really rough. I really do appreciate yall, everyone of yall. Have a sweet week everyone, ✌️!

#the butts chronicles #ogh but yea. been rough. #as said I have no idea if we'll keep this house cause man shits been fucked #uhhhh. lets see. recently my sister got into a fairly nasty argument with her husband since they were both drunk and hes a bit of a. hm #quick to being mad guy? I spose? but yea they made up and he actually apologized to me and my family for that so. its okay? #OH YEA FUCK LOL a few weeks ago fuckin tecksas got hit nasty with a hurricane and GUYS. I FREAKED OUT SO BAD LOL #cuz there was hail with the rain but since. I dont think we even ever experienced hail here I was scared that my ceiling roof broke again #and that it was the rain leaking to my room ceiling and was about to burst my ceiling so I legit started hyperventilating and panicking #with like. short and heavy breathing and almost crying badly until I went to look outside and saw hail and only slightly calmed down #oh but yea it was nasty lol. then the next day almost the entire block lost power and apparently sparks were happening cause fallen trees #uhhh. lets see. hmmm. OH OH RIGHT DAMN I FORGOT WE GOT A PUPPY LOL #we've gotten a lil pup all the way back from dec? iirc and she is now older and a shit lol shes in her teething phase and whatnot #still p cute tho and very puppyish. oh yea also during dec our power went out and ogh man dec was so freezing literally. #almost as bad as the one from. uhhh I cant remember the exact year but I remember it being within these past 4 years at least cause I read #a t0h fic during it lol. oh yea speaking of. we also changed our light company and damn. its been not bad so far! we had to pay up to 300 #in our old company and now we dont even get to 200 so far! hope Im not jinxing it! hmm oh did I already say before that I had to get a new #phone? cause I did and I did not enjoy it lol. had it for a while and now and its arguably worse cause no damn headphone plug-in #I think I did mention this but in case. I did finish counseling. well more accurately they required payments again since things and whatnot. #I think? I mentioned the stuff I got for my bday and chmisas. I got mostly neat stuff. I guess. one of them has still yet to arrive lol #uhhhh. hrm. I did get Mr. Martinet's autograph as a present! hrmmm #my other sister got another surgery a while back and its been relatively the same since. hmm. my only other living grandparent passed away #me and my ex got into a. not great argument cause mistakes and whatnot. raccoons in the attic thats hopefully taken care of for now #aaaaand the plushes I ordered a damn near year ago have been technically canceled cause of unfortunate circumstances for the creator #who just kinda. posts things now lol ig. #but yea. lots. holy shit guys. lots has happened. fuck man. I think Ive been way more tired than I thought. #not to mention the past weeks of just. reflecting. man #uhhh #long post #LOL i gues #but yerp.

[sharkorok]

ooo u want me so bad

or…grumpy!enha being in luv w u

requested: nope

cw/genre: cursing, grumpy enhypen, fluff, humor, crack-ish, fem!reader, non-idol au, I wrote this during a zoom class, not proofread fuck it we ball, one joke about reader getting jumped?? anyways lmk if anything else should be tagged hehe

a/n: this was inspired by @macahoons grumpy enhypen texts that I just adored!!! Such a cute trope <3

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

heeseung

-he’s the basketball team captain, always idly boasting about his talents and loves being first place

-the only exception is you.

-he will never admit it but he absolutely lets you win every time you find him at the basketball court and u challenge him to some dumb scoring game where u see how many baskets u each can get

-“OMG HI HEESEUNG!! :3” when u find him at the basketball court and he sighs but he’s trying not to scream at how cute u r lowkey

-ur all giggly when u keep beating him “hee r u even trying?” “I’m just having a bad day don’t even” like he isn’t completely distracted by the way you look when ur grinning at him

-“I think I can take ur place as basketball team captain!” “In ur dreams??” but he’d gladly give it up if you would keep smiling like that

-insists on walking you home from the court because “I’m not gonna be held responsible for you getting jumped”

-and the next time you catch him on the basketball court it happens all over again! <3

jay

-you can’t even finish saying “I’m cold” before his jacket is over your shoulders and he’s scolding you for not being prepared

-sitting down and your skirt is riding up? his uniform blazer is over your lap and he’s shaking his head

-“what would you do without me??” “do you want your jacket back then , jay?” “…no”

-while it’s also because he cares about ur wellbeing, he also just really likes the sight of you wearing his clothes and you smelling like his cologne

-you literally walk into the room and he’s immediately “y/n you need to buy a thicker jacket you’re gonna get sick” not even a good morning or anything…

-“don’t tell people ur wearing my jacket I don’t want them to get the wrong idea 🙄” but lowkey he wouldn’t mind at all

-gets so (internally) giggly when u sink into his jacket because it’s chilly

-finds excuses u give u his clothes at this point …the tiniest piece of lint on ur shirt and he’s handing you his blazer

-“u can keep it ig”

jake

-gets you tiny gifts and acts like he just randomly found them

-he totally went out of his way to find you two matching keychains but he doesn’t wanna admit that

-“y/n I just randomly found your favorite seasonal pastry. no big deal. don’t thank me.”

-BUT HE ALSO KEEPS EVERY GIFT U GET HIM OMGEEE, he has a whole area on his desk dedicated to notes, trinkets, stickers, if you drew on his paper he’ll tear the section off so he can keep it LOL

-will never admit that. to anyone. but gets pressed if you give gifts to anyone else because that’s his y/nnie!! giving HIS gifts to some rando!! D: the cruelty!!

-gets sooo dramatic if he doesn’t get at least a little doodle he’s texting you like you killed a man

-one time his friend asked if he could borrow a pencil and he was like yea man sure and then realizing it was a pencil YOU!! gave him he snatched it back so fast trust

-he’s so cutie patootie but internally…4 now…

-wishes he could get over himself and kiss you all over when you shyly present a little plush toy you won at a claw game he’s RAHHHHH !!!

-for now he’ll stick to “thanks 😒”

sunghoon

-he’s really protective over you me thinks

-but he’ll be really quiet about it, maybe a girl makes you upset and he sees and he’ll “accidentally” knock over her bottled water on her notes, a guy is talking shit about you and sunghoon is squaring up in the courtyard no questions asked

-“sunghoon u dont have to protect me” “it’s not about you” even though it’s totally about you and he will die defending your honor

-one time on your walk out of school a tree branch poked you and u were all like “oh owie : o” and he was following behind before GLARING the shit out of that tree branch…

-another time this guy made a degrading comment about you and sunghoon managed to find receipts on him cheating on his gf and posted it on the school newsletter…cuz he’s silly like that <3

-honestly it’s a little scary the lengths he’ll go for you and still refusing to admit he’s doing it for you

-he’s not really good at comforting you when you cry, so he’ll make sure to protect you from anything that could make you cry

sunoo

-he’ll always listen to you

-if someone said “sunoo can u go grab me a drink from the vending machine” he looks at them like they’re insane but if YOU’RE asking??? he’s sprinting down the hallways

-“it’s literally just because ur lips get all chapped when your dehydrated don’t get an ego,” while he’s handing you like…water purified in Antarctica sourced from glaciers with a little paper umbrella

-even smaller things, he prioritizes your advice

-“guys should I have hot pot or panera for lunch?” and a rando will go, “panera!” and hes dead silent but you go “oh you should totally get hot pot!!” and he’s basically booking a reservation

-probably “accidentally” books a reservation for two and forces you to come since “it’s a waste of table space” if no one else does lol

-also if you don’t like someone he doesn’t like them either

-“sunoo are u friends with Ria?” “shes okay” “she said my makeup looked bad today :(“ and sunoo will act like he dgaf

-but next time you bring her up he scoffs and is all, “why even bother crying about her? she’s not worth your time and she’s annoying anyways” even though he’s never talked to this girl

-tldr ur word > anyone else

jungwon

-always speaks highly of you

-never to your face but he’ll always defend you when necessary, or speak up for you, or just praise you LOL

-“y/n actually scored higher than you, so idk why you’re bragging so loud” to some rando kid talking about test scores lmao

-or “y/n doesn’t like that snack get her another” when your friends are debating how to surprise you

-ur name is always in his mouth but positively LMAO

-brushes it off if you take note of this and says “people are just exaggerating, I barely talk about you, don’t get it twisted >:T” but everyone knows he’ll take any chance he can get to praise you

-“y/n is better tho” and everyone’s like?? who asked??

-it’s endearing but he doesn’t even notice it, he just is proud of you in every shape and form and since he can’t really express it around you he has to project it anywhere else he can hehe

-“jungwon do you think my hair looks okay?” says hee, looking for an actual answer. “y/n’s hair is nicer” responds jungwon, not missing a beat.

-“did you guys know y/n got a 100? isn’t she smart? don’t tell her I said that.”

niki

-does things for you without you asking and then acts like it’s a habit

-it is definitely not a habit for him to run out of his seat to pull out your chair for you, but he insists he literally does it for everyone (he doesnt)

-opens your capped drinks before handing them to you, stops you suddenly to tie your shoelaces, sends you photos of notes if you missed a day..

-“y/n you’d literally be hopeless without me” but he’d be hopeless if anyone else helped you because it’s his job!!

-it makes him feel special when he gets to do so many acts of service for you, for some reason he doesn’t mind running errands or whatnot, he’d much rather he be the one who does it than anyone else

-“y/n u forgot a hair tie today?? ur lucky I brought one” knowing damn well he brought it specifically for you ☹️☹️ cutie

-if the train is full you don’t even have to ask and he’ll let you take his seat “y/n you have weak legs, you need to sit”

-he secretly loves being someone you can rely on, no matter how much he denies it <3

#enhypen drabbles #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enha imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen headcanons #enhypen reactions #enha fanfic

[flintbian]

Well. The light show was a bust. RIP

#it's disappointing...to say the least #i've been back for almost a week now so I've had time to process before I write #we got unlucky. It was cloudy/snowing all but one day. the one day it wasn't the bz wasn't low enough and the kp wasn't high enough #the most we saw was what looked like white fog through the clouds even through a camera #apparently the day before we got there and the day after we left it was beautiful but were just unlucky #and social media algorithms know I track it and now after it's like it's mocking me showing the beauty I never got to see #i'll likely never get another chance...at times like these i feel like my life was just a massive failure in all regards #i know it's a game of chance but i had hoped maybe the universe would grant me one wish. One kindness. But I've never been lucky have i? #but you miss it if you don't try at all and I did. I did try. That's all you can do #i've been a bit depressed since but I'm determined to actually live a little and explore after all I live in such a beautiful place #i thought all the hikes would be inaccessible but I found some and I'm determined to see the beautiful things all around me #there are books I want to read and food I want to bake. Maybe if I last we'll try again #though extremely difficult the travel is #and there were some good things like I met some amazing people and cuddled with five dogs in a cuddle pile 🥰 #they seemed to sense I was in pain and were gentle around my legs. Codiac always demanded More attention #even as he's already in your lap and you're already petting him 😂 even the shy wolf mix joined my pile 🥹 #i got jokes that I'm a cyborg or biomech based on the scanner and x rays lol. saw and touched some Aspen trees and saw the big dipper #but overall a disappointment and I'm recovering now...not sure what to do next honestly #it's hard. How do you cope when you Know there's no purpose to the pain...to all this suffering. It was all for nothing. Why continue? #my dreams are all dead and I'm resigned to disappointment. hope is a curse #but part of me claws for breath saying I want to live I want to live if only for the hope of it getting better or finally experiencing... #but I never do. I just get worse and worse relegated to a solitary room resigned to disappointment and pain and failure #why continue suffering for suffering's sake? But I have to try. I hear hiccup's voice and remember my promise #idk why. Things are constantly downhill and my dreams die and I never amounted to anything and my body is a broken nightmare #I'm heartbroken but I'll pick myself up. Try another day as long as I can. And now I'm making mini goals #I wish to read The Lost Metal in November. That's what I'll do for now #but yeah my one chance failed. That's just the way of it I suppose. I just have to be resigned to that now. Maybe eternity will be kinder. #after all hope is painful. ive added much salt to the sea #to one more day then #p