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ashestoshadows · 9 months

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Just In Their Nature

Hello my peeps~ First thing i've wrote which features PLA, kinda, nothing really happens besides my character nearly dying due to her dumb mistake of capturing a very deadly Alpha.

(Image credits go to イマット, and was just inspired to write this because of that image)

(And Content Warnings! big things/creatures, nearly implied death/vore, and garchomp)

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It appeared the newest recruit had big news! She caught an alpha, but what was the Alpha? You had no real clue and you were anxiously awaiting the female to walk through that door as the leader, Cyllene, was writing stuff down on paper. The scratching could be heard throughout the room and you anxiously looked at your Luxio who was purring against your leg trying to calm you down as you sighed, carefully petting their small head thanking them silently.

A noise could be heard outside the door and you were about to walk closer to listen to what was going on but *Creak* the door slightly cracked open as you watched in horror to see the most feared Alpha you were aware of… A Garchomp.

She caught an Alpha Garchomp!? Your heart began racing far too fast imagining what horrors could happen. Your Luxio quickly ran over, leaping onto your arms peeking through the door before shrieking in surprise and horror, your Luxio knew what to fear and knew too well that this 9 ft Pokemon was dangerous. And absolutely terrifying. A loud roar ripped through the whole building as you jumped back, your Luxio still barely in your arms as Cyllene quickly ran over "Y/N! You okay?" she asked, her eyes relatively wide as you barely nodded. Your Luxio shaking and mewling in your arms cowering in fear.

Cyllene quickly dashed out to see the monstrosity outside in the lobby of the building, after you calmed down to see Reynard with an Alpha nearby. You saw the white haired female trying to calm the Captain as you barely wobbled into the area, your Luxio nervously trailing behind you. Keeping a weary and scared eye on the Mach Pokemon who noticed the small kitten Pokemon and lunged at it, although thankfully the Pokemon appeared to be a female due to the lack of a notch on their dorsal fin and fortunately your Luxio's was a female as well. The reason that even matters is sometimes they'll only attack Pokemon of certain genders and ignore the other entirely unless provoked.

The dragon gave a quick lick on the face to the kitten who trembled under the dragons intense golden gaze, Luxio or as you loving sometimes called Luxy, ran over to you and hid inside your arms understandably trembling. "Calm down! She's fine, see?" the Garchomp stood right beside her trainer and you felt your mouth fall open, terrified and in awe at the huge size of that creature who stood next to what was the Galaxy teams sky-fallen conversation starter. Ever since you were introduced to Reynard you felt a strong bond with her, almost like she was your sister, scared she'd get murdered by an Alpha or die from a huge height but thankfully that never seemed to happen.

The Garchomp swiftly placed her two winged limbs around the female human almost in a hug-like manner before she slightly crouched as she did so opened her mouth and gave her trainers face a painfully slow and terrifying lick, seeing the maws of an Alpha open and right near your friends head as she looked wide-eyed terrified of what could possibly happen to herself but tried to resist the urge to show it too much. Her limbs began almost pushing the small human up and closer to her mouth as you gasped in pure horror petrified to do anything and you knew you weren't going to be able to do anything, Reynard fell silent as she seemed she was going to begin hyperventilating realising what was possibly going to happen, Cyllene was frozen to the spot too scared to move as you noticed the Ultra ball lying on the ground. You carefully crawled over to it trying to remain out of sight.

Drool was dripping out of the dragon's maw, pooling everywhere. Her mouth huge, and her teeth glistened, putting fear in everyone and everything and Reynard was frozen. She knew this was her end. She knew capturing this beast was dangerous and stupid, and yet she did it, and if you weren't quick enough she'd die right here with all that's left is her body and head crushed to nothing but guts and blood but feeding this Pokemon's hunger.

You swiftly lunged for the pokeball recapturing the huge beast as Reynard fell to the ground, landing in some saliva roughly on her behind as she hyperventilated right there on the spot. Tears running down her face that she was too scared to shed in case she'd die. She wept as your Luxio carefully clambered into her lap purring, trying to calm her down as she ran her finger though the blue and black kittens soft fur and she sighed.

#garchomp #reynard x reader #ashestoshadows #my oc #PLA-ish story #content warnings #vore/death #big stuff/creatures #and nearly implied death #alpha pokemon x reynard #i added vore as its up to your speculation whether that is what the alpha was thinking- or just crunching the human to death #i dont know why i wrote this weirdly- or at all tbh

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space-kitten-606 · 1 year

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About Cakes And Mains

Holding his bag close to his side, Yoosung ran across the road. Stupid bus being late again, just because the driver valued his break over being on time for the people who relied on him getting to where they need to be in time. Yoosung would never be this selfish…unless…what if something happened just before? Maybe he hit a squirrel or someone’s pet?

As his mind kept circling around this, he finally reached the coffeeshop he agreed to meet Seven at. It was fairly new around here, but their cakes already had a great reputation, so the two really wanted to try them for themselves.

A little jingle announced the student’s arrival to the employees and other patrons, the first of which immediately flashed him welcoming smiles.

From a table a bit further in the back, he saw a familiar jacket, the owner of which was waving him over with a wide grin.

“You really kept my waiting Yoosungie ~”, Seven cooed, as the blonde sat down across from him.

“I sent you a message. The bus was late- “

Seven scoffed. “Right. All excuses….you asked me to come here to break up with me….didn’t you?”

A fake sob shook him as he buried his face in his hands, skewing his glasses in the process.

Nervous, Yoosung looked around, hoping no one was consciously witnessing this scene and secretely condemning him for being so cruel in public.

“Stop that!”, he hissed, “We’re not dating! If you keep this up, people will be looking….”

His concerns were interrupted by Seven’s loud laughter. Now the attention of the people around was most definetely on them.

“I really wish I could put HD cameras in my eyes! That look on your face is priceless!!”

A defeated sigh fell over the student��s lips. “You’re so mean.”

Upon seeing him pout, the other gave him a halfhearted apology, waving his concerns off and prepared to order.

The menu was incredibly huge, with detailed descriptions and perfectly calculated pictures, making every drink and food look equally delicious. Yoosung’s mouth watered at the entries. Everytime he thought he had found one that he definetely wanted to choose, another one piqued his interest, leading him to ramble about how impossible it was to decide what to pick.

Seven glanced at his friend over the edge of the menu he was holding in his hands.

“What if we order all of them?”

For a split second, Yoosung pulled a blank. It could easily be one of Seven’s silly jokes, but he had delivered the question with such earnesty, it was hard to tell. He glanced at the prices on the menu.

“We can’t afford that.”

Seven shrugged. “We could just make them send the bill to Jumin ~”

To their, or at least Yoosung’s relief, as he really didn’t want to anger Jumin with such a bill being delivered into his office, they found a plate that would be filled with small bites for them to test most of the cakes that were offered.

Soon, a good amount of cakes had disappeared into their respective bellies. While they were delicious indeed, confirming the rumors that were floating around all over the city, they were also feeling quite heavy in their stomachs and making them lean back deeply into their seats. Still, Yoosung thought this heavy feeling was worth it, as it was the most delicious cake he had ever tasted in his life.

With the prices of them being so high however, he started contemplating if he could replicate those cakes somehow. Maybe if he asked Jaehee-

“So…Genshin Impact, huh?”

The sudden breaking of the silence by the hacker had interrupted his train of thought, catching him off guard. As he was trying to find out what Seven wanted to achieve with his conversation starter, a look of pure confusion settled on his features.

“I saw you were playing it on discord. You have been playing for quite some time actually. And not once have you asked for my UID….”

“Maybe I just don’t want to play with you”, Yoosung deadpanned.

Seven let out a dramatic whimper at that, making the people around them look over to their table once again.

Ashamed of his friend’s antics, Yoosung hid his face in his hands.

“Anyway!”, he switched his tune eerily quickly, only resulting in making his antics feel all the more jarring “Who’s your favourite - the best character in the game to you?”

Yoosung immediately noticed the mischievous twinkle in his friend’s eye, but decided to try and ignore it. If only for his own sanity.

Still, he tried to think closely about what he was going to say. One wrong word and Seven would tease him about it forever.

“My strongest unit is Ayaka…”

He was immediately silenced by a suppressed giggle.

“What’s so funny about that?! She’s one of the most popular and best five stars in the entire roster! …..plus I didn’t get very lucky with five stars in the first place, so it’s not like I have many strong and versatile characters to choose from….”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I just think that it suits you that you would prefer the person out of all the characters introduced so far that is the biggest simp for the traveler….I bet you named Aether after yourself too, didn’t you, Yoosungie ~”

Feeling the blood rushing to his face - he didn’t know if it was due to anger or sheer embarrassment - Yoosung puffed up his cheeks.

Yes, he really wanted a girlfriend and Ayaka was so pretty and cute that sometimes he would think about being with her, but that was not why he mained her! It was because she was so strong and could be used in many teams! Well. She was very pretty too though…..

“You’re only making fun of me because you’re a Hu Tao main for sure.”

“No.”

Yoosung was stumped for a moment. “No, that’s not why you’re making fun of me or No, you’re not a Hu Tao main?”

“Both.”

“Hmm….Childe then.”

“I do have him…but he is…well…nah.”

Seven’s answer made him squint. It was oddly avoidant for his usually so cocky friend, which made it feel incredibly off to him. Still, it seemed genuine enough and he didn’t want to pry.

“Raiden Shogun! No- Yae! Yes, you just have to be a Yae Miko main!”

The hacker pursed his lips and a feeling of triumph washed over Yoosung. Bingo!

“She’s in my team quite often, yeah. But I wouldn’t say she’s my main.”

Damn! Who would someone like Seven main….? Yoosung sighed. There was no one like Seven, so that train of thought wouldn’t go anywhere anyway. Except….

“DIONA!!”

“Good guess. But no.”

“...I don’t believe you, but fine. If it’s not Diona, it’s gotta be Rosaria.”

Grinning, Seven shook his head. “Nope. Though Rosaria is a part of my main team, so not too far off I guess.”

He raised a brow, challenging Yoosung to continue guessing. To his obvious dismay however, the student was tired of this game.

“I can’t believe you couldn’t guess it. It’s so obvious.”

Along with and exasperated sigh, Yoosung rolled his eyes. “ Just tell me…”

All traces of playful mockery left his friend’s face in an instant, scaring him a little. He hated it when Seven did that. Something the other was surely aware of in his own mind.

“Critkomi.”

“What.”

“I. Main. Critkomi.”

Yoosung stared at him for a bit, before letting out an annoyed sigh and a small laugh.

“Very funny. Do you think I don’t know that it’s just a meme build? If you gotta mess with me, you could at least give it a little bit more effort.”

As he unloaded his thoughts on the implausibleness onto his friend, his features did not change for a second. Not a grin, not a small twitch from the corner of his lips or a twinkle in his eye. Nothing.

But he had experience with that, right? He was just acting, right? He had to be.

“I don’t blame you for being so simple minded…”, he ended his silence, making the student roll his eyes once more. His dramatics were really something Yoosung would never get used to. “But have you seen my Critkomi? I believe not, since you simply didn’t ask to play with me. Otherwise, you would be blown away by what I can do.”

“You hacked the game, didn’t you? I could report you to the developer for that, you know.”

“Nope. All hard work, intense farming for the perfect artifacts and weapon. Just like in LoLoL, I am just too advanced of a player for you to get on my level”, he announced proudly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You know….you’re really annoying when you’re boasting about your gaming achievements like that. If you didn’t hack, you pumped a shitload of money into the game.”

“Just earlier you implied that I didn’t have enough money to buy all the cakes here and now I suddenly have enough to put into top ups? Almost sounds like you’re changing your opinion on whatever serves you better.”

Yoosung’s eyes widened in terror. “N-no! That’s not true. At least that’s not what I meant it’s just-”

His panicked apology was cut short as he noticed the cheeky grin on his friend’s face growing wider the longer he stumbled over his words. Almost as quickly as it hit him, the anxiety left his body again.

“I hate it when you do that, you know.”

“Oh yeah. I do know. It’s just too funny for me to stop”, he laughed, holding his stomach as he did so.

“Alright. Fine. Tonight we play together, and you show me your Critkomi. But if she does not work the way you claim she does, you will stop bullying me all the time, deal?”

“No promises, but okay, I’m in.”

“You mean Critkomi working…right?”

Seven smiled at him, his golden eyes keeping unsettling contact with his lavender ones.

“.....right?”

This was a fic commissioned by frizzkitty! Thank you so much for your support and endless patience ~

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger saeyoung choi #mystic messenger yoosung kim #my writing #commission

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teeto-peteto · 6 months

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Okay, strange question, but as you’re the Pyke Connoisseur, I trust you. Do you think Pyke would talk to the sea creatures, or do you think it’s just telepathy? Do you think he has fish friends?

hahahaha Pyke connoisseur, i like that, i want to put in on a pin for my bag. Okay long post warning.

There's a lot of ways to approach this question and with multiple answers, this is mostly because Pyke lore is like a messy thread ball where you constantly pull out things but dont know how to explain them.

As for the easiest answer, yes, i believe Pyke does verbally talk to fish. We see in Legends of Runeterra that he does speak or command fish, and he makes sure they get their cut, food, clearly. In League Of Legends Pyke has a quote that goes something like 'I have a lot of friends, specially on the depths', wich could probably refer to the fish and deep creatures. As if they answer, well, they're fish, approach this like someone who talks with a dog. Fish are like his sea puppies, he talks to them, not expecting a response but they know how to ask for food.

For another answer, if you ask him directly, he would look at you offended and say 'What? No' . He lies, he does talk to fish like they were puppies, he has pet an eel more than a couple of times, gives belly rubs to huge sea monsters, he likes sitting on the sea floor and watch the crabs and the scallops passing by, he loves watching and petting sharks, he just wont admit he has a soft spot for sea creatures. In the end its just him in the depths, its not like no one is there to judge him, or at least that's what he thinks.

As for the very long answer, its tricky. If you consider 'talk' as having a conversation between individuals were both verbally participate, things get odd. We know fish dont speak, not even in this fantasy context, as we have seen in Legends Of Runeterra, where none of the creatures talks back to Pyke. That could be closed case, but the whole thing about Pyke's voices and the jaullfish gets oddly confusing then.

Pyke's voices that tell him to kill are very confusing to pin a source, some say its the jaullfish, some say it's the whole concept of 'deep' with the Jaullfish and the fish, the swimming city, etc. Lore always treats it as something related to his death and some mystical magic hanging around that keeps him trapped from getting out of his killing spree, but that feels... odd, somehow. We know the jaullfish gave him the possibility to become an undead, but, whats the whole purpose of him killing, in what does this affect the Jaullfish? What benefits does it get?

Its very nonsensical, he doesnt do any offerings to this creature, or searches for it, he just talks about it like a distant memory along with his tragic death. In 'And then, teeth' we read that Pyke kicks Mazier's body to the water so sharks can feast on it, again no mention of this sea creature that we say its the cause of his voices.

As for my own opinion taking these foggy takes in consideration, i believe that Pyke's voices arent a cause of him being undead, but that he is actually schizophrenic from starters. Perhaps is a response and a develop from a previous mental disorder he had before dying, perhaps he was already schizophrenic before anything happened. It would somehow and foggily explain a lot of concepts that arent tackled much on his lore but that Pyke mentions nonetheless, like the crew of 'The terror' being something that no one in Bilgewater knows about, or the concept of The Swimming city, something that Pyke mentions a lot that could just be another name for the depths he spends most of his time on. It could also explain why names ''keep appearing'' on Pyke's list without himself realizing, perhaps his whole pergamine was blank this whole time, and he's allucinating, maybe thats why he appears to know everyone, even if he had never seen them.

As for Illaoi removing the voices from him in Ruined King, its also a tricky question. It would make sense that ''Illaoi cured Pyke's schizophrenia''', but he still has his undead powers, it doesnt break the 'spiritual deal' he has with the jaullfish, as i feel that if this creature is the one talking in Pyke's mind, then Illaoi removing it from his mind would at least cause him to debilitate or to get his powers removed aswell. It would also make sense why in the credit scenes in Ruined King we actually see Pyke writing for the first time on his list, the very first time we, as espectators, see that Pyke has written something on paper since he died. By himself, not magically appearing.

With all that in consideration, does Pyke talk with fish? Yeah, most likely, but in the end he would just be talking to himself, any response he gets back is probably the voices on his mind. After Ruined King he probably keeps talking to fish, he just doesnt get a response back and would treat them like puppies.

#longpost #pyke #mmmmm yeah he's not an easy character #but in all cases: yes #he does #just under different circumstances depending how you ask #im actually going to do myself that pin #its too good #thank you #thanks for asking Pyke stuff i like crushing my head into the wall trying to figure him out <3

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alister312 · 2 years

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gregstophe for 26-29!!

Hopped onto my computer to type this because typing it all out in the notes app on my phone is gonna take too long. Because I know I am about to go crazy being insane :)

26. Do they have any pets or kids?

I’ve got extensive thoughts about their domestic life actually, various and many contradicting ones. For starters, in an old RP I had that definitely served as a basis for many of my headcanons I have for them, the two of them actually had a dog and they had two kids. The dog was a beagle and came from Gregory wanting to help Christophe get over his fear of the animal. I definitely still see this as a possibility, though these days I definitely lean more towards vaguely tolerating a pet if he and Gregory were to get one. Christophe is an animal lover, but I don’t think he trusts himself to be a good pet owner. He’d much rather pet sit or go volunteer at a shelter. And he does do those things, maybe even gets involved in fostering some kittens from time to time. Gregory probably wouldn’t actually want a pet of any kind. He likes the idea of a dog or cat (purebred of some kind), but his and Christophe’s lifestyles don’t leave a lot of room for taking proper care of a pet. Even if they’re not mercenaries, I imagine Gregory works long hours at an office and goes on lots of business trips.

On kids, as I said in that RP, the two of them had two kids, who were kids they adopted after offing their parents as part of a job. I still really like this idea actually, because while I think they’d both make excellent dads, they’d never take the time to go through the adoption process because they both have lots of hang ups about their own parents. They would have to be forced into the position of having a kid, but once they did, they’d be the best dads, willing to do whatever it takes for their child(ren) to succeed and be happy in whatever they want to do.

27. Who would propose? What would their wedding be like?

This is hard to say, because I think it really depends on the situation. On one hand, I love imagining that most of their most significant moments happen in the wake of something terrible, mostly because I think they both need to be pushed so hard to actually make things happen for each other. They’re both so guarded about everything. In this instance, I think it would be Christophe who would propose because if he almost lost Gregory or vice versa, he’d kick and curse himself if he didn’t make his feelings known. If their lives have a little less life threatening happening, I imagine Gregory would accidentally propose, in the sense that he’d propose the idea of proposal to Christophe, who would be so shocked he’d immediately accept and consider them already engaged, which irks Gregory a bit because he wanted the moment to be a bit more… momentous but like hell he’s going to take back the proposal. Their wedding, no matter their life situation, would be a small thing. Christophe would hate anything huge and Gregory, while he likes the idea of planning a big party, actually does prefer the day be very much just about him and Christophe. I think they’d fight about where to have it— Gregory wants a church, Christophe would rather die. They compromise by having it in chapel and Damien conducts the ceremony.

28. What’s something that reminds them of their partner? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder?

I sort of answered this in an earlier ask, but to reiterate just a little bit, I really love the thought of them having matching watches. It’s a very practical gift, something they both appreciate, but it also looks nice (which is a plus for Gregory). Maybe there’s even an inscription on the back of the watch, something super simple. And, I’ll admit, much of my love of the idea of them and watches comes from “The Well and the Lighthouse”, in which Christophe gifts Gregory a pocket watch that once belonged to his father and tells him to pretend that the ticking is his heartbeat when they’re going to be separated. There is so much from that fic that has stuck with me, but that idea in particular is so heartwrenching and sweet.

29. What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

Oh man, there are SO many things they can never agree on. They oscillate wildly between being completely in sync vs completely opposed. So often it’s small things, though, that they’re opposed on. For instance, what is considered a “clean” room vs what is messy (if you can still walk through the room, it’s clean in Christophe’s opinion; Gregory wants to strangle him about this). The one big thing I think they can never agree on, though, is religion. So many of Gregory’s morals are tied up in Christian truths and beliefs, so much of Christophe’s trauma is tied up in perceived inability to conform to Christian truths and beliefs. While I don’t think Gregory is a crazy dedicated Christian (probably more of a Christmas and Easter churchgoer), he feels awkward during Christophe’s god-hating rants. It’s a subject the two of them just try to avoid with each other. Gregory doesn’t stop Christophe when he wants to go let off steam by doing blasphemy with Damien. Christophe puts in extra effort to remind himself that Gregory’s interpretation of God is different from his mothers. It’s hard but they try.

#thank u ella for enabling my insanity! remind me to send u some funny stuff I have regarding the first question later also #gregstophe #sp headcanons #sp ships

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theothervonkarmagirl · 2 years

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ooc:

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: Frillz PRONOUNS: she / her PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: I use tungle mainly, but I use discord too. I don’t rp much on the latter though. NAME OF MUSE(S): Miles, Maria, Clara, Siegbert. (for all my blogs) RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): Oh shit. I think like 12? I started in high school. PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: I've used tumblr for the longest, but when I first started I used forums! BEST EXPERIENCE: Well in general I love when there's something going on between 2 muses and the dash commentary is just as funny/engaging!!! And I still remember years ago when, in my forum group, this slow burn ship that we all just really loved got married and we literally made it this huge event omg. Someone even made fake invites it was wild as hell. RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: I have a couple really big ones, and I will TRY to keep it concise lol.

Making demands/ultimatums or insulting me, because I don't do that to anyone here. It is never that deep.

Thinking that things my muses do are things I’m ok with in real life/treating muses like they are real people. Again it is not that deep, you don’t know me in real life. Please stop lol

Saying you want to rp but then never doing it, esp. if we have a ship. Like if I'm sending asks, making starters, trying to plot, and not getting anything back, no feedback, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do except move on. DISCLAIMER: I'm not talking about people whose muse ebbs and flows, people who are busy, etc. That is totally fine! Basically if you communicate, everything will be daijoubu!

Not communicating or getting really defensive when I try to do that. I had people do that to me when I was new to this, so I will admit, I was bad about that too, in the past. Now I try to be more proactive about it when something is amiss or I don’t like something. I try to do it as gently as possible, so I would like that from my partners, too.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: I actually do not write explicit smut! But I prefer angst only slightly to fluff. It depends on the situation lol PLOTS OR MEMES: I like memes the best! But plots are nice too. I think I prefer plots as an overarching storyline vs. a single thread though. LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Usually shorter replies are what you get, but sometimes I'll go into multipara. I think I've been doing that a lot recently. BEST TIME TO WRITE: I like writing at night the best, but that's not always what happens lol. ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): There is a little bit of me in all of them I think lol. Like Miles I get too attached to my pets lol. Like Maria sometimes I think I have a smart mouth. Like Clara I do like nature (...not as much as her though LOL). And like Siegbert I had a time where I wanted to impress everybody.

tagged by: @bloodxhound tagging: you!

#;frillz gets real for a second #;dash games!!!#I think I like doing these now lol

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survey--s · 2 years

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350.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? They are, although I don’t really have much of a relationship with my dad.

Were you tired when you woke up this morning? I was really groggy even though I slept about nine hours and didn’t wake up until gone 9am this morning. I’m fine now I’ve showered and stuff though.

Have you ever made out on a couch? Sure, loads of times.

What does your last text say? It’s just some offer thing from Amazon.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Enough money to always be able to afford my bills and to be able keep my own horse on private livery please and thank you.

When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? I have no idea, I’m really not a big drinker at all.

Captain Morgan or Smirnoff? Smirnoff.

What are you doing on Halloween? Probably working, lol. I never do anything to celebrate otherwise though.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? No.

Have you lost friends in the past years? Sure, but not because of any arguments or anything, we’ve mostly just grown apart and gone on to do our own thing which I think is really common as you get older, I think.

Have you finished school yet? Yeah, I finished school well over a decade ago.

Do you know anyone who still doesn’t have a smartphone? Yeah, my dad doesn’t even own a phone, and neither do my in-laws.

Have you ever been on a cruise? Nope. I think I’d like one if it was small and adults-only or maybe a private charter lol.

What is your favorite kind of fruit juice? Clouded apple, or apple and mango.

Have you worn a necklace today? No, I don’t tend to wear necklaces as I’d worry about them getting damaged at work, and on my days off I just ever bother lol.

Have you ever had an x-ray? Yeah, numerous, for various different things.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? Nope. They’re both super into healthy living and clean eating.

Did you leave the house today? If so, where did you go? Nope, and I have no plans to go out today either as it’s raining and I have nothing I need to do outside.

Do you know how to whistle? Yeah, but not with my fingers and not very well either.

Have you eaten cake today? Nope but I will be eating that last blueberry muffin my mom gave me, and they’re basically cake. Apparently an entire stick of butter went into them.

Have you ever tried Turkish coffee? I don’t think so.

Do you know anyone who was born overseas? Sure, loads of people. My parents and 95% of my family, for starters lol.

What was the last hot thing you ate for breakfast? Uhh, toast maybe?

Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? Nope, tomorrow’s the last day of my holidays. I’m back to work on Monday morning though and I have to say this holiday has gone way too fast ha.

Have you been to the movies lately? What movie did you see anyways? I haven’t been to the movies since before COVID hit, lol.

Have you ever used a muscle stimulator before? Did it hurt? Yes, and a little bit, I guess.

Have you ever owned a pet bird? What was this bird’s name? No. Personally I think it’s pretty cruel to keep pet birds unless you have a huge aviary or can free-fly them.

Have you ever seen the really old movie, The Birds? Did it scare you? Nope.

Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? I mean, sure. You risk your life everytime you leave your house, surely?

Do you ever watch MTV? What shows do you normally watch on there? Not anymore, but I did used to watch a few of them - Teen Mom etc.

Do you consider yourself egotistic? Do people call you egotistic? No, no.

Do you get embarrassed when your parents talk about when you were a baby? No, not really.

Do you have any children? If so, how old are these children? I have no children and zero desire to have any.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Is that enough in your world? Twice a day and yeah, that’s fine enough.

Do you get horny a lot? No.

What gives you anxiety? Dealing with members of the public.

#survey #surveys

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cognitos-handbook · 2 years

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hey, so i got something kinda specific in mind, if you're up for it: what would myc's reaction be to being asked into like a serious relationship with someone? bonus points if they've been casual for awhile. if he were to say yes, what would that relationship consist of? like, your personal opinion, do you think he'd be like super clingy or doting? would he be the kind of partner to wanna set up actual dates or would he always wanna chill out on the couch at home? domestic stuff really gets me too, man 🥺💕 whatever you feel comfy doing :))

Am I up for it? AM I UP FOR IT?

The amount of pure excitement I got from seeing this ask my dude LOL

This shit is rightttt up my ally haha <3

Lots of our favorite asshole mushroom ahead <33

Okay so, for starters, I def feel like this would be a complicated conversation topic with him

It may not go exactly the way you hope? At least not at first, y’know?

I’d like to think that yeah, y’all definitely have been in a casual relationship for a while before this gets thrown out there

Just something very vibey, no real expectations on either end, nothing to really get worried/stressed about and the biggest thing; fucking commitment

When you ask him if he wants to be in a serious relationship he really wants to be surprised, and still acts like he is? But he really isn’t

He’s accidentally caught you thinking on it before, but has gone out of his way to really avoid it and pretend he didn’t see or hear shit

He changes and avoids the subject every time it’s brought up from then on and acts like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing

Which is a blatent fucking lie

You legit need to sit him down and force him to talk about it, if you want an actual answer

He’s very very conflicted about it, but he has found that he really does like you, and he did lowkey (highkey) hate avoiding you, so…

Fine. He acts reluctant about it, but he’s just a nervous dick, don’t worry

So yeah, he’d end up saying yes <3

Now in a relationship, he would be so fun?? Such an eccentric asshole, but now your eccentric asshole! :D

Is he clingy? Yes. Can you really tell unless you know him well enough most times? Not really, no

He’s pretty subtle about it because he likes to keep up his reputation for being such a huge asshole lmao

Unless he’s feeling particularly spiteful and/or anyone’s questioning yall, that is

But he tends to stick around you a lot! And almost always touching you in some way, just resting a tentacle on your back, thigh, arm, etc, lazing an arm across your shoulder while you’re sitting somewhere, so on

Gets whiny when you don’t show this absolute attention whore what he considers enough love LOL

Isn’t at all the type to hide that yall are together, either, and calls you a lot of… questionable inappropriate pet names especially around other people lmfao

And yeah, he would be down for dates! Though he does also really enjoy just chilling out at home and shooting the shit

They’d probably be pretty minimal effort? And more chill than anything, but not at all lazy or anything!

He’d make sure it ends up being something that you like an enjoy actually, and that yall would end up having a good time doing together

He takes a lot of pride in being able to woo you and the fact that you decided you wanted to stick by and date him rather than anyone else

Please keep his ego in check, it’s way too inflated for his own good—

Chilling at home is such a nice treat for yall though, honestly? Especially if/when you’re officially living together <33

He doesn’t mind being just a tad bit more soft when it’s just the two of you ;p

But the jokes and the insults never go away, I’m sorry (not really)

He just enjoys teasing you way too much <3

(It’s a bonus that he thinks you’re cute when you’re flustered, and not to mention he thinks you’re hot when he aggravates you enough lmao)

He’s actually a pretty good partner, all things considered :)

#ask #headcanons #inside job #inside job x reader #magic myc #magic myc x reader #honestly could go on for ages #just with little scenarios and shit?#he’s such a little shit we love him #if you want any more just lmk #<333

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doubleleoenergy · 3 years

Text

V. Off to the Races, Lolita Series

My old man is a tough man, but he got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam. And he shows me, he knows me. Every inch of my tar-black soul.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of alcohol, mentions of relationship violence, rape, and murder, pet names, passionate sex,

Words: 4025 (I am SO sorry for this)

Summary: Andy takes y/n on a weekend getaway while Jacob and his friends are out of town.

Two weeks had dragged on since Andy had gotten a taste of y/n’s sweet nectar, and since then nothing. It wasn’t like they really had the chance to be alone, Jacob and the other boys weren’t going out late at night or on the weekends as they usually did. Andy had to settle for his hand every night, reminiscing on their oral escapades.

It didn’t help that Andy had been swamped with cases, court appearances, and tons of paperwork. He had spent every night of those two weeks at the office until his eyes physically couldn’t stare at the cases in front of him anymore. Andy even showed up on the weekend to fit in a little extra work, hoping it would help take care of some of the load but to no avail. He was completely and thoroughly exhausted, and he could tell that y/n was as well.

She had worked directly with him on a few late-night cases, the rest of the time being spent shadowing Neal fucking Loguidice. It was great for her internship to do so, getting new perspectives of different attorneys in the office, but it was not as good for his jealousy.

By Thursday evening the heavy load of cases and paperwork had seemed to disappear, and Andy was grateful for being able to leave the office at a decent hour. With y/n in tow, he ducked into his Audi, waiting for y/n to get comfortable in the passenger seat before roaring the vehicle to life.

“Is it just me, or have these past two weeks been exhausting?” He asked, glancing out of the corner of his eyes at y/n as he drove. Andy knew her answer before she even opened her mouth, a loud groan leaving her lips as she rested her head back against the seat.

“You’re telling me, if I have to hear Neal mention one more time about his new kickboxing class, I’m going to gouge my eyes out. He really fucking sucks.” Her words elicit a chuckle from Andy’s lips, a smile of pride seeping onto his face. It was good to know she didn’t have any interest in Neal.

“We should do something fun this weekend, just the two of us. Maybe you’ll let me finally take you on a date” He suggested, lulling his car to a stop at the next red light. Y/N raised an eyebrow in his direction, cocking her head to the side. “Andy, I already told you, I don’t do relationships.”

Andy rolled his eyes, shifting in his seat to look at her. “Yeah, you said that, but I’m in it for the long game, y/n. You have to admit there’s something between us.”

“Andy…” She sighs, watching the sun setting out the passenger window. Sure, there was definitely something between him. Was he different from all the other guys before that she had hooked up with? Yes, of course. First off, she had never been with a man his age, someone with a career, a house, and a car of his own. He even had a pension and a life insurance policy; she hadn’t hooked up with any men who had those.

The car is silent as they pull into the garage, Andy immediately shutting off the car and sitting back in his seat. Y/N looked down at her lap awkwardly, reaching for the door but Andy stopped her with a tug to her wrist, getting her to look up at him.

“You want to be an attorney, right?” The question has her furrowing her brows, looking at him as if he had said ‘You know the sky is blue, right?’

“Of course, you know that, but what does that have to do with-” Andy cuts her off by holding up his index finger, loosening his grip on her wrist. “Attorneys defend their cases in court to a judge or jury, who then ultimately decide the fate of their clients. Their job is to convince someone that their claim is right.” Andy rests one hand on the steering wheel, a smug smirk crossing his lips.

“Saturday morning we’ll leave for a weekend getaway, planned by yours truly. This will all be part of my case as to why we should be together, no more games, officially together. You as the judge will examine the weekend's evidence and conclude on whether we should be together. If you decide after the weekend that you don’t think so, I’ll leave it alone and we won’t have to discuss it ever again. But I’m hoping for it to change your mind.” Before she can protest, Andy holds his hand up. “And I’ll even get us a room with two beds, no funny business, promise. So...will you hear my case out?”

Y/N had to admit, she had never been chased by a guy so ferociously, but what was the harm in seeing the evidence and getting a free weekend vacation out of it? She stuck her hand out for him to shake, a professional gesture for their arrangement. “Alright, I will gladly hear your case out.”

Andy had arranged it all down to the last detail, including lying to Jacob and the boys about an important conference for work that they both had to attend that weekend. Of course, he didn’t suspect a thing, he went out of town for conferences all the time, and thus his plan was set.

When Saturday morning finally arrived, Andy was feeling great. He had gone for an early morning jog, took a long shower, and even trimmed his hair and beard. Andy dressed in a plain white t-shirt and dark denim jeans, packing his bag with his essentials for the evening before walking out into the kitchen. As usual, the boys were all still asleep, hungover from their late-night game of shot roulette, which left the house extremely quiet.

Andy couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his face as he walked into the kitchen and saw y/n waiting at the counter, a familiar plate of breakfast and coffee next to her. “It’s a Saturday, you know that right? Thought breakfast was for workdays.” He stated, moving to sit at his usual spot beside her.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” She responded, taking a swig from her coffee mug. Andy’s eyes wandered along her body; her outfit of the day effortlessly beautiful. She wore a tight white bodysuit tucked into a pair of figure-hugging mint shorts; a pair of matching wedges slipped onto her dainty feet to complete the look.

“You’re right, it is.” Andy’s silverware moved to cut into his meal, chewing thoughtfully as he thought about the day ahead. “You’d think that by making me breakfast you were trying to plead your own case.” He teased, engulfing another bite of his food.

Y/N rolled her eyes at him, moving to set her now empty coffee mug in the sink. “I’ve got nothing to plead, you on the other hand, do.” She waits with her back to the counter, playing on her phone until he finishes his meal, setting his plate in the sink behind her.

“Are you ready to go?” He questioned, grabbing his duffel bag off the floor. Y/N followed suit, grabbing her tiny black suitcase and following him out into the garage. Andy grabbed the suitcase from her, setting it with his own bag in the trunk before they both got into the car, backing slowly out of the driveway.

It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Y/N asks, crossing her legs.

“Would it matter? You’re not familiar with the state anyhow.” He retorted, pulling up the address on his GPS as they started on their journey.

“True, I just want to know what I’m getting into.” Her eyes locked on the GPS, noticing the destination was an hour away. “Rockport? What’s in Rockport?” She asked, raising a shapely brow in Andy’s direction.

“Well for starters, it’s along the ocean, which guarantees a good view. It also has great shopping, beaches, and restaurants. It’s a nice little getaway.” Andy turns on the radio as the car goes silent, y/n admiring the view as they drive.

The silence in the car was comfortable, both of them enjoying each other’s company, and before they knew it, they had arrived at their home for the weekend. They were staying at the Cove at Rockport, a beautiful inn right along the ocean. It was even more classy than the photos online, and Andy made quick working of getting them checked into their room.

Andy and y/n walked together down the long hallway to their room, room one on the first floor. Unlocking the door with the key provided, Andy pushed it open, allowing y/n to step in and take in their living arrangements.

The main room was huge, donning a cute little breakfast nook adjacent to the kitchen, a living room, two separate bedrooms, and a bathroom. The decor was all beach themed, of course, shades of blues and beiges filling their sights.

“This definitely deserves a point towards your case.” Y/N admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. It was honestly the nicest place she’d ever stayed at, more luxurious than what she had expected. Walking further into the space, y/n pushed open the sliding door, the sound of waves hitting the shore bursting through her ears as she took in the view. It truly was gorgeous, much different from shitty life in Ohio.

“So, I did alright with my first piece of evidence?” He chortled, leaning back against the cool wall. Y/N continues to take in the view outside, a light breeze picking up and blowing her hair off her shoulders.

“I’d say so.” She shuts the sliding doors and walks back to investigate the sleeping spaces, setting her bags in the room with a large picture of a beach umbrella over the bed, the smaller of the two. “Well, what else do you have planned for your case? Because if this is it, I can come to a decision right away.”

Andy moved his own bag into the opposite room before walking into y/n’s and sitting down on the plush comforter. “I wanted to start the trip with a walk downtown, explore some of the shops before we get ready for our dinner reservations at six.”

Ah, he even sprung for reservations, what a smart man. “Sounds good, let’s explore.” Y/N got up from the bed, grabbing her purse before Andy followed her out, walking out of their room towards the lobby.

Downtown was only about a five-minute walk from the inn, an enjoyable stroll filled with laughter from a group of teens on the sidewalk, birds chirping in the trees, and the smell of fresh muffins wafting from the window of a bakery on the street. “Well, where should we look first?” He asked, turning to look at y/n for guidance on where she’d like to go.

They had spent about two full hours downtown, walking in and out of all the little shops, picking up a blueberry donut to share from one of the bakeries, and taking photos of each other along the Rockport streets. Most of the photos Andy took of y/n were very Instagram appropriate photos, staring down the camera and moving from angle to angle. On a few photos though, Andy would say something to make her laugh, snapping away at her genuine reaction.

Before long they were walking back into the room to get ready for their dinner reservations. Andy was pulling out all the stops, dressing up in one of his nicest black suits, a matching black tie situated atop a crisp white button down. He spritzed on some of his favorite Versace Eros cologne, adjusting the laces of his dress shoes before walking out into the living room. Andy had ordered a dozen red roses to be delivered to the suite, arriving shortly after he had finished getting ready, sitting on the couch with the flowers and waiting for y/n to walk out. God, he hoped this wasn’t too cheesy.

After about five minutes of waiting anxiously, the door to y/n’s room opened, noticing her delicate silver peep toe heels first. His eyes roamed up her toned and tanned legs, settling on her baby blue dress, off the shoulder with slightly puffy sleeves, a tie in the front revealing just a bit of cleavage. The ruffles on the hem swayed as she moved, her eyes taking in the sight of him as well with the flowers.

Suddenly Andy stood up, holding out the flowers to her. “You look incredible, Lolita.” There went the pet name again, though it was always so fitting for her. “Shall we go?” Y/N silently thanked him for the flowers, taking a whiff of their sweet aroma before setting them down on the counter near the door. She followed Andy to his car, waving him off when he tried to open her door for her. Her expression stayed on Andy the entire drive, inhaling his intoxicating cologne, licking her lips. Y/N had to admit, he always looked great in a suit.

The restaurant was only a ten-minute drive from the inn, a little classy seafood restaurant along the ocean coast. It was packed with people, a quartet playing Sinatra’s finest hits off in the far-right corner of the room. Some people were dancing, some were sitting along the bar against the left wall, while most were diners enjoying their meals at their table.

Y/N and Andy were led to a table near the back wall facing the ocean view. Andy started off by ordering a bottle of chardonnay for the table, taking in the sight of y/n lit up by the candlelight provided.

“This is beautiful, Andy.” She exclaimed, her eyes scanning the room and all the happy couples around them. Andy smiled before opening his menu, mulling over what to order. “I told you, I’m great at pleading my case. And as you know, I almost always win.” Y/N rolled her eyes, opening her own menu. “Key word, almost.”

After deciding on what to eat, Andy getting the seafood gnocchi and y/n ordering the lobster bisque, Andy poured them each a glass of wine, holding his up towards hers. “Cheers to an unforgettable night.” He exclaimed, clinking their glasses together before they each took a sip of their respective glasses.

As they wait for their food, Andy and y/n sit and talk more about their likes and dislikes, what they want in the future, and the day they had downtown. Their food arrives during the conversation and they continue to talk while they indulge in their meals, all the food just as incredible as the atmosphere.

About thirty minutes later Andy and y/n take in their last bites of food, sitting back and enjoying the liveliness around them. As they waited for their check to arrive, the sound of Sinatra’s hit ‘It Had to Be You’ started drifting from the quartet. Andy smiles, holding out his hand towards y/n as he stares down at her. “Dance with me?” He asks, taking in her surprised expression before she scoots herself out of her seat, grabbing his hand as he led her over to where the other couples were dancing. Andy places his hands on the small of her back, y/n wrapping her own around his neck as they sway to the tune.

“This is definitely not as good as dancing together at the club.” She joked, making Andy laugh. “Well, technically I wouldn’t call that dancing. More like...gyrating, or maybe dry humping? Definitely not the same.” Her smile brightened; his eyes locked on her as they moved. It was as if they were the only people there, like the whole world stopped to see them dance.

“For nobody else gave me a thrill. With all your faults, I love you still. It had to be you...Wonderful you...It had to be you…” The quartet crooned, the song ending and a few of the couples clapping in response. Andy’s eyes bore into y/n’s, licking his lips before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, holding it for a moment before y/n pulled away, clearing her throat and letting go of his neck.

“M’sure the bill is on the table.” She stated, walking back towards their chairs. Andy let out a huff of disappointment, following her over to the table and paying for their meal before they walked in silence back to their car.

The car ride felt riddled with tension, the tension continuing to build as they got back to the room. “We need to talk, y/n.” He admitted as the door of their suite shut behind them, crossing his arms against his broad chest. Y/N leaned her weight against the wall between their bedrooms, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Andy…” She started, becoming silent again and chewing on her bottom lip. Andy’s stance becomes more tense, taking a step closer to her. “I want you, y/n. And not because of how mind-blowingly attractive you are. You are intelligent, thoughtful, and selfless. You’re not stuck up or fussy about material items. You make me feel like I’m in my twenties again, you make me feel like I’ve never felt with another woman.”

He takes another step closer to her, hovering above her due to his height. She puts her hands on his chest to stop him from moving, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“I’m terrified of this, Andy. How do I know you won’t turn out just like my piece of shit father, huh?” She leans her body weight against the wall, peering up at him.

“Look, I know how you feel, alright?” He moves away from her again, his back turned towards her as his hand ruffles through his hair. “I know firsthand, my father...he’s also in prison. He went to prison when I was young for raping and murdering a 19-year old woman. I vowed to myself to never ever treat a woman without kindness and respect. Though my marriage with Laurie wasn’t perfect, I’m sure she’d say that I was nothing like my father, and nothing like yours for that matter.”

He turns back to look at her, arms outstretched. “I promise I will never hurt you; you can trust me. I’m all in, y/n. And I meant everything I said.”

She processes his story of his father, realizing they had a lot more in common than she once thought. Her heart is beating so fast she thought it might splatter in her chest, closing the distance between the two quickly. Her hand came up to grip his jaw, leaning up and kissing him lovingly. They continue to kiss, y/n parting her lips to allow Andy’s tongue to slip inside, exploring her mouth and causing her to moan. After a moment they both pull away breathless, her hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Okay...I’m all in too, with you.” Her words are all Andy had been wanting to hear, gripping her waist and kissing her lustfully this time, pushing them backwards until they both hit the wall again with a groan. His lips trailed a line of kisses down her neck and along her collarbone, shrugging off his suit jacket and making quick work at the buttons on his shirt, practically ripping the buttons off completely.

Y/N is tilting her head back against the wall, helping to push off his now open shirt to expose his God-like torso. This was her first time seeing his chest, running her cool fingers against his abs as he kissed back up her neck and into her mouth.

He plays with the fabric on sleeves of her dress, pushing them down so that she can fully shimmy out of the pale blue fabric. Her breasts are on full display, no bra to pull down, and Andy growled at the sight of them. They were just as perky as they had been while peeking through her outfits.

He nudged her body in the direction of his bed, hands making quick work of his belt and pulling down his trousers, kicking them into a pile as he walked into the bedroom after her in only his Calvin Klein briefs. Andy moved forward to kiss her again, knocking them both over onto the bed, a breathy laugh escaping her throat.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful, my little Lolia.” He purred, his hands coming up between them to knead over her delectable breasts. Y/N cried out from the touch, grinding her hips up into Andy’s to evoke a similar noise from him. “Andy, need you…” She whined, her back arching off the bed, her panties rolling against his clearly clothed hard cock.

He slipped his hands lower, teasing his fingertips along her folds, already slick with her desire. “Need what, Lolita? Need you to tell me exactly what you want.” Her hands rub his cock through the thin fabric, a whine of impatience leaving her lips.

“Need you inside me, Andy. Please, fuck my pussy.” Her words ignite an animalistic groan from his lips, pulling off her and scooting her up further onto the bed until her head touched the pillows. He quickly tugged off his boxers, stepping out of them before shimmying her out of her panties, tossing them aside.

His eyes grew dark as he took in her naked form in front of him, stroking his cock. She really was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on, and she was all his. Andy moved onto the bed, hovering over y/n with his cock dragging against her glistening folds. He was bigger than the guys she’d been with before, and the thought alone excited and terrified her. Her fingers land on the skin of his shoulder blades, pressing in lightly as she locks eyes with him.

“Andy, please.” She begs again. Andy keeps his eyes on hers as he pushes in slowly, giving her time to adjust as he moves inch by inch into her cunt. Her nails dig a bit deeper into his skin, mewling as he continues to press into her until he finally bottoms out, holding himself in place.

“God, my little Lolita, you’re so fucking tight...you’re milking my cock and I haven’t even moved yet. Do you want me to move?” He leant down and pressed a passionate kiss to her lips, waiting for her mumbled ‘mhm’ against him before he rolled his hips into hers.

The pace started slowly, building up speed with every little noise y/n’s mouth made, coming undone underneath him with each thrust. They continued to share soft kisses, moaning into each other’s mouths, y/n’s hands locking around his neck.

“Andy.” She breathed, her walls tightening and releasing around him. “Wanna cum for you.”

Andy quickened his pace, kissing along her pulse point on her neck. “Cum for me, Lolita. Want to feel you cum on my cock.” It doesn’t take her long after his sentence before she’s tightening her walls again, crying out as her orgasm rips through her. Her eyesight is full of stars, and it takes a second for her to regain her vision, focusing on Andy’s face once she does.

“M’gonna cum in this pretty cunt, fill you up to the brim.” He states, thrusting a few more times before coating her walls with his release. He stills inside of her for a moment before pulling out slowly and plopping down with his back on the bed next to her.

They both lie in silence, staring up at the ceiling, panting. The sex was incredible, better than they both could’ve imagined. Andy’s arm wraps loosely around y/n’s shoulder, tugging her into his chest and pressing a loving kiss to her forehead.

“You’re mine now, it’s official.” He looked down at her with a lazy smile, watching as her fingers began to trail up and down his chest. “Guess you could say I won yet another case.”

“Shut up, Andy.”

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @my-divine-death @blackwiddows @sokovianheadtilt @fuckandfluff @rattlemyb0nes @rootcrop @turtoix @sylvielaufeydottirr @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @ccmarvelxx @rebelemilu @tenaciousperfectionunknown @agentofbarnes @serendipityrogers

#doubleleoenergyseries: lolita #DLE Series: Lolita #andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber smut #andy barber x reader smut

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jusvibbbin · 3 years

Text

The Perfect Piece

Data x Reader Insert

You turned to look at the class. “See, was that so bad?” The class stared at the board and groaned. Your smile faltered and you looked back at the board. Maybe they weren’t ready for division. You checked the clock and the smile reappeared. Or maybe it’s because it’s 2:05 on a Friday. You decided to be merciful to the fourth grade class and let them out early.

“Well maybe that was kind of difficult,” you chuckled. “Why don’t we spend one more weekend on multiplication and next Monday we’ll pick the division back up. Class dismissed!” The children shot up and grabbed their PADDs before running out the door. You shook your head and walked over to your desk. Might as well get some grading done and call it a day. You were just as ready to go home as the class.

“Excuse me (Miss/Mister/Prof) (Y/L/N)?”

You looked up at none other than Lieutenant Commander Data. You felt your cheeks heat up slightly. The Commander had a reputation for talking for far too long and making situations unnecessarily awkward, but you found him cute and at times, quite funny. The two of you spoke very rarely; at holiday parties or on Picard Day, if he chose to accompany the ever-uncomfortable Captain.

“Commander! What an unexpected surprise!” you smiled, standing from behind the desk to walk around and meet him in the middle of the classroom.

“Is not every surprise unexpected?” Data queried, giving a slight smile to mirror your expression. You blinked and inwardly smacked yourself. Wow what an opener. You laugh it off, clearly embarrassed.

“I suppose that’s true. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Data looked around the classroom at the decorations the various classes had made to give the classroom ‘lived-in’ feel, away from the sterile and by-the-book Starfleet look.

“I wish to discuss your classroom.”

“What? Really?” you beamed, proud of the work your students had done.

Data nodded. “I would like to give my quarters more of a personal touch. I have observed that your classroom is decorated with the artwork of the children, regardless of if it is not well made.”

You choked on the air in your throat and started laughing.

“Mr. Data!! You can’t say that! It will discourage the children.”

Data looked around the room and out into the adjacent corridor. He looked back at you and met your eyes. You took in how close the two of you were, but did nothing to widen the gap.

“I apologize if I offended you but I did not see any children present to hear my comment. I am only curious as to why you put it all up despite the varying quality.”

“Well…” you smiled at him, never breaking the eye contact he established. “It helps show the children that the room belongs to them as much as it does anyone else. I even put a piece up.”

Data’s eyebrows raised at this.

“Which one is yours?” There was almost an excitement behind his eyes but you shook away the thought. Data doesn’t have feelings like that.

“You’ll have to guess.” you responded almost flirtatiously. Data flashed you a full smile and your knees nearly buckled. You placed a hand on the closest desk, hoping that your attempt to stabilize yourself looked more casual than it felt.

Data began walking around the room, looking at the pieces on the walls, the shelves and hanging from the ceiling. You smiled, knowing yours was on the complete other side of the room. Data stopped walking and turned to look at you, smirking with something like confidence. Good God, how much time did his creator spend on his eyes? It must have taken…

“(Y/N)?” Data said, confusion laced in his voice as he looked at your glazed over eyes.

“Oh gosh, Data! I’m sorry I must have been somewhere else.” You chuckled awkwardly as you cursed yourself for being so infatuated with the one man who could not return your sentiments.

“Which one did you pick?” you asked, desperate to get the conversation back on track. Data looked at you a moment longer before pointing at a painting hung up on the wall across from you. You grinned and shook your head.

“I thought you were the great Sherlock Holmes, Data!” You turned around and moved a desk into the corner behind you before standing on it. Data watched you quizzically as you took down a hanging model of a star made out of small spare parts from a broken replicator or a tricorder that you painted yellow. You stepped down from the desk and held it up to show him.

“I had not considered that your piece might also be objectively amateur,” Data said matter-of-factly. You laughed loudly and put a hand on your chest.

“Wow Data, you really know how to compliment someone! I know I’m not very good at art but it’s about having fun and being proud of what you make in the end.”

“So you think that I should decorate my quarters with my own artwork?”

You smiled at him and nodded as he continued to look at the star.

“Why did you choose to make it out of spare parts and slightly sharp things? Is that not dangerous?”

You looked at your model as you collected your words. “For starters, it’s very securely attached to the ceiling and no one sits under it. I made it this way to show that as stunning and beneficial as stars are, they’re also very volatile and powerful. Not a force to be reckoned with!”

Data held his hands out and you handed the model to him. You felt a sharp pain in your hand and looked down.

“If art is not your strong suit, perhaps I could teach-”

Data didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence as he looked up in time to see your eyes roll into the back of your head and he quickly caught you before you hit the ground. He set the model down on a desk and picked you up with both hands, gently cradling you against his chest before walking towards sickbay. He assessed you as he walked, looking for injury or signs of a heart attack or a brain aneurysm and finding none. He entered a turbolift as you came to.

“D-Data? What are you doing?!” you yelped, taking in your surroundings. His arms underneath you, pressing you into his hard chest. His eyes scanning your confused face, looking at you full of concern. I must be dreaming.

“You passed out in the classroom. I did not see a probable cause so I elected to carry you to sickbay and have Dr. Crusher examine you.” As he said all this you touched your right hand lightly to your left index finger. It felt wet and you remembered why you fainted.

“Data, we don’t have to go to sickbay,” you said as he strode out of the turbolift and into a busy corridor. You cheeks heated up and you added, “So you can put me down now!”

Data looked at you again and shook his head. “I am sorry (Y/N) but unless you have an accurate cause, I insist you are seen by a medical professional. It is best not to participate in physical activity until you are cleared for it. I do not mind carrying you to sickbay. You are not heavy.” He continued walking and you sighed, although you secretly loved the attention and care he was putting into making sure you were alright. He would do that for anybody!

“Data if I can tell you why, will you put me down?”

He stopped walking and looked at you, waiting.

You held up your slightly bloody finger, careful to not look at it.

Data looked at the prick on your finger then at you as you stared at the ground. He gently set you on the ground and gingerly took your hand in both of his so he could inspect the wound. You thought you might pass out again at his touch and you swallowed hard.

“This wound seems very superficial for you to have a head injury as a result.” Still holding your hand, he began walking back towards the turbolift. You were too starstruck to protest. He called for a deck number but you weren’t listening as you tried to form a sentence.

“I uh… I don’t like seeing blood. I’ve fainted every time since I was a kid.” You looked at your joined hands again and a small smile appeared on your lips.

Data’s eyes looked as though he was searching for something before saying, “Ah, vasovagal syncope.”

You nodded, slightly in awe of his processing ability. The turbolift doors opened and he led you down a couple of corridors before stopping at some quarters. These aren’t mine…

He pressed the control panel to the side of the doors and they swooshed open revealing a sparsely decorated room. There was a coffee table, a couch, a desk in the far corner with a huge computer and an orange tabby waiting by the replicator, meowing.

“I will feed you momentarily, Spot. First, I must attend to our guest.” Data led you to the couch and let go of your hand. You sat as he walked over to a storage cabinet and retrieved a medkit. He came back to you and used the dermal re-generator to mend the small cut on your finger. You looked at your finger and smiled at him gratefully. He set the medkit on the table and sat close besides you on the couch.

“Thanks Data. I really appreciate you taking care of me in my hour of need.”

“(Y/N) only twenty minutes have passed since you fainted.”

You laughed and leaned into the back of his couch. “It’s an expression, Data!” His puzzled look turned into one of understanding, but he said nothing as he also leaned into the couch and angled himself to face you fully. You once again took in your close proximity, debating on moving away. And again, you didn’t.

The two of you chatted for a little while about your work, about the new interpersonal subroutine he and Commander La Forge had created, about his pet, and then finally about art.

“So do you know what you might do with your room decor?” you asked with a smile, your mind still on what sort of things the subroutine had added. Maybe that’s why he wants his room decorated. Or why he took care of me today. You tried to expel that last thought from your mind.

Data was quiet for a moment, seemingly pondering what he was going to say.

“I believe I already have the perfect piece.” He smiled sweetly at you and you looked around the room.

“Where is it?” you asked, confused.

He leaned in so close that his mouth was nearly touching your ear before whispering flirtatiously, “Guess.”

#star trek #data #data x reader #tng

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dr-ethan-ramseyy · 3 years

Text

Never Stop

Pairing: Jonathan Hayes x f!reader

Word Count: 3.57K

Warnings: implied sex, pregnancy

Summary: some snapshots of a future with our boy Jonathan

✨ Find the prequel here. ✨

(The title comes from “Never Stop” by SafetySuit, in case anyone is wondering. That song is the sweetest thing ever and it reminds me of him)

Nearly six months after Jonathan and I had decided to start looking for a place to move in together in Maine, we were pulling up to our new house. Our. HOUSE.

Jonathan turned to me with a huge smile on his face and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

“I can’t believe we’re really here,” he breathed, his eyes trailing over my face.

“I can’t believe it’s really ours,” I smiled.

He leaned across the center console, kissing me sweetly before getting out of the car and rounding to my side to open my door for me. Before I could react, he had lifted me into his arms, carrying me bridal style to the front door.

“Jonathan!” I laughed.

“What? This is a big day for us! You know I like to be a romantic from time to time.”

I couldn’t help but laugh again as he set me down momentarily on the porch to fish the key out of his pocket, opened the door, then picked me up again before walking into the empty house.

It was just a small starter home, the most we could afford, and really, all we needed. Jonathan kissed me and slowly set me on my feet. The kiss started out sweet but quickly turned heated. He backed me up against the wall, then moved his hands around to grip my backside.

“Jump,” he grunted between kisses.

I jumped, and he pinned me to the wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“I think,” he said, his breath heavy, “we should make use of every single one of these rooms before the movers get here.”

I raised my eyebrow. “That’s quite the tall order.”

“I’m up to the challenge, baby,” he winked before surging forward to kiss me again.

“Then I’m up for it, too,” I moaned.

“We need to get started then,” he teased, moving to lift up my shirt.

~~~

“Hey sweetheart,”Jonathan called as he came through the door one afternoon, slinging his backpack off his shoulders.

“Hey!” I smiled, looking up from my spot on the couch. “How was class?”

He shrugged, flopping down on the couch next to me and pulling me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head before answering, “Fine. I have to make up some building designs for next week, which I’m excited about.”

“I’m so proud of you,” I said, leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder. “And I’m so glad you’re enjoying your architecture classes.”

“That means so much to me, thank you, Y/N,” he grinned, kissing me. “I’d much rather hang out with you all day than go to class though.”

“Well, obviously,” I laughed.

“You know what? We should do something fun today.”

“Like what?”

“We haven’t gone out on the boat in a while.”

“Mmm,” I hummed. “You do love the boat.”

“I love what you and I get up to on the boat,” he murmured in my ear, making me shiver.

“Well…” I pretended to think about it, drawing it out to tease him. “I am off today. And you’re done with class for the day…”

“And you look really sexy in your bathing suit,” he said quietly, slowly inching his face closer to mine, his eyes trained on my lips.

“Hmm. So do you.”

“Mmhmm. Say yes, baby.”

I decided I had tortured him enough. “Yes,” I said.

He grinned, moving forward to pin me under him on the couch. He kissed me deeply, his tongue teasing mine.

“Are you sure we’ll make it to the boat?” I asked after he pulled back for a moment to catch his breath.

He tangled his hands in my hair and grinned. “What’s the rush? We’ll get there eventually.”

It took a while, but we eventually did make it out to the boat. Jonathan and I were in our bathing suits, and he pulled me to sit on his lap as he drove us around the waters that he knew so well and that I was growing so accustomed to.

I leaned back against his bare chest, reveling in the feeling of the sun against my skin. Jonathan ran his fingers back and forth slowly over my bare thigh.

After a bit of wandering the waters, Jonathan put the anchor down, and we laid on the boat, looking up at the blue sky, feeling like we were the only two people in the world.

Jonathan rolled on top of me, bracing himself on his forearms so he didn’t crush me. He gazed into my eyes intently with a small smile on his face, running his thumb along my cheekbone gently.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Hmm?” he hummed absentmindedly, still tracing my face.

“You’re looking at me weird. What are you thinking about?”

“I’m not looking at you weird,” he said quietly, dipping his head down to brush featherlight kisses across my cheeks.

I giggled, threading my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Yes, you were. Tell me what you were thinking,” I teased.

He sighed theatrically, lifting his head to look at me again. “I was thinking,” he brushed a lock of hair away from my face, “that I love when it’s just the two of us…” he trailed off, his eyes fixed on mine.

“But?”

“But…” He smiled, a small, almost shy smile, “it might be nice to add to our family a little.”

“What did you have in mind?” I raised my eyebrow.

“I may have been looking around at some of the local shelters… they have quite a few dogs looking for homes,” he said, sounding hopeful.

“You want to get a dog? You think we’re ready for that?”

“Well,” he sat up, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “Not if you don’t think we are. It’s just, we have a house, and I’m not leaving all the time anymore, and you love dogs-”

“I love dogs,” I cut in, excitedly. “And I love you,” I scooted closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I definitely want to give a dog a home, if you do.”

His whole face lit up and he hugged me closer. “I’m so glad you do.”

~~~

I should have known I would cry at the shelter.

Jonathan and I had decided to swing by after he got out of class to look at the dogs they had. We walked along, his arm around my waist.

And then I locked eyes with a little brown and white mutt with floppy ears and the biggest puppy eyes I had ever seen and I broke down crying.

Jonathan looked at me, concerned but not surprised. “Should I ask if we can meet that one?”

I nodded, and he squeezed my arm affectionately before going off to find an employee to help us.

I dropped to my knees, not taking my eyes off the dog until Jonathan came back. The employee let the dog out and he ran right to us, excitedly wagging his tail.

“I think we were meant to be,” I said, scratching behind the dog’s ear.

“Kinda like us,” Jonathan grinned, petting the dog, too.

And that was that. We brought Wally home with us and we were a family.

Jonathan and I took Wally to the park, we went on walks, we hung out in the backyard. It was perfect.

~~~

Jonathan swore under his breath as he closed the door behind him, shaking snow out of his hair and stomping the excess snow off his boots before putting the wood he had grabbed from outside in our fireplace.

“I thought our first winter here together would be a little more magical, but so far it’s just cold,” he joked as he got the fire going.

Wally watched him intently, as he often did. The two of them were the best of friends; Wally followed Jonathan around everywhere. I would be jealous if it wasn’t so cute. I couldn’t blame him, really. Who wouldn’t be obsessed with Jonathan?

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of magical,” I smiled. “You’re here, aren’t you? That’s all I need.”

Jonathan grinned at me over his shoulder. Once he got the fire going, he went back to the front door, kicked his boots off onto the mat, wiped up some of the water that he had trekked into the house, and finally settled in next to me, draping our favorite blanket across our laps and pulling me into his side, resting his cheek against the top of my head.

“You’ve made a good point, as always, baby. I can’t believe we’ve had our own house for half a year,” Jonathan said, running his hand up and down my arm soothingly.

“We’re really nailing this home ownership thing,” I laughed.

To my delight, Jonathan laughed too, kissing the top of my head before saying, “You want to watch a Christmas movie?”

“It seems like the perfect night for it,” I smiled.

Jonathan picked up the remote, scrolling through our several streaming services until he found my favorite Christmas movie and played it.

We cuddled there under the blanket and watched the movie, Wally settled in on Jonathan’s other side. Occasionally Jonathan would lose interest in the plot and pull me on top of him, kissing me until I was breathless.

“Jonathan,” I groaned into his mouth one such time.

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed, pulling away and shifting so I could rest my head on his shoulder, his arm draped around me. “I’ll let you get back to your movie.”

Once the movie ended, he looked at me, raising an eyebrow mischievously.

“Oh no, what does that face mean?”

He laughed, kissed my forehead, and stood up, grinning at me. “I have an idea. Wait here, sweetheart.”

Turning on his heel, he disappeared into our bedroom for a moment, then came back, smiling.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing,” he said, walking over to our stereo and putting on a Christmas song. A slow instrumental.

I smiled.

Jonathan walked towards me slowly, his hand outstretched. “You remember this one, baby?”

Standing up with a small smile, I placed my hand in his. “It’s the same one from your parents’ house. When we talked about moving out here.”

He pulled me close, and we swayed back and forth. “That’s when you randomly started crying and scared me half to death,” he joked, gazing down at me lovingly.

I rolled my eyes. “I know. That’s so embarrassing.”

“It’s one of my favorite memories, actually,” he said gently. He was leading us in small circles around the living room, careful not to trip over Wally who was curiously watching us, right at our heels.

“It is?”

“Of course. That was a big moment for us.”

I gazed up at him, and he leaned down to kiss me sweetly. “I want to make so many more memories with you,” he murmured, his lips barely an inch from mine.

He pulled back then, and took both of my hands in his, his eyes lit up with joy and love. “I love you so much, Y/N. I know you know that, but I never get tired of saying it. I want to keep saying it to you every day for the rest of our lives.”

He took a deep breath, glancing down at the ground before looking into my eyes again. “I love everything about you. So, I was wondering…”

My breath hitched in my throat. Was he doing what I thought he was?

“Every day I think about how lucky I am that we matched on that app all that time ago. I’m even more lucky that you waited for me. That you love me back. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, sweetheart.”

Jonathan shot me a small smile before dropping down to one knee, still holding onto one of my hands, but letting go of the other to pull a small box out of his pocket. He looked up into my eyes with the most hopeful expression I’ve ever seen. He opened the box as he said, “Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

Tears burst into my eyes even though by that point, I knew it was coming. “Yes!” I practically yelled.

“Oh, thank god,” he laughed gleefully, standing up and reaching for me, lifting me up and spinning me around in a circle.

He set me down after a moment, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me with so much passion, my knees felt weak.

Finally, we pulled back and he slipped the ring onto my finger. It was perfect. Everything I’d ever wanted.

We both looked at it for a moment, and then we looked at each other, just smiling because there was too much joy to put into words.

~~~

I felt all eyes on me as I slowly walked down the aisle, but all I could see was Jonathan. He looked good-- wearing a perfectly tailored black tuxedo that he had picked out. His eyes were shining as they locked on mine; it looked like he was close to crying. It took all of my willpower not to run to him.

Looking into Jonathan’s eyes as I got closer, I thought back to the night that he proposed, before the whirlwind of wedding planning.

“I was going to wait until I had a plan,” he whispered as he held me in bed, lightly brushing my hair off my face as he gazed at me. “I was going to plan it all out but… then we were there and I was holding you and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love you. I was just so happy, and I had the ring and… I couldn’t wait.” he smiled sheepishly.

“It was perfect,” I whispered back, leaning forward slightly to kiss him.

And all the months leading up to the wedding had been perfect, too, though nobody could believe it. We worked well together, Jonathan and I. Sure, there were little disputes but we figured them all out together.

I finally made it up to Jonathan, who really looked like he might cry now. He smiled at me in awe as I stood in front of him.

The officiant started the ceremony and Jonathan kept his eyes on me the whole time. “I love you,” he mouthed.

I grinned and mouthed it back.

The rings were exchanged. We said “I do.” Then it was time to kiss.

Jonathan wrapped me up in his arms as soon as the words left the officiant’s mouth. He kissed me passionately, lifting me up off the ground.

The two of us were together for most of the night, taking up the dance floor with every slow song. Even after endless pictures, we couldn’t stop smiling.

As the night was winding down and guests were starting to leave, Jonathan wrapped his arms around me, leaning down so his lips were touching my ear as he murmured, “Did you have a good night, sweetheart?”

“I had the best night,” I said, looking up into his eyes. “We’re married.”

His eyes lit up. “We are absolutely married,” he said before kissing me slowly, like we had our whole lives to do it.

~~~

I sighed, cutting up vegetables for dinner that night. Frankly, I hated when it was my turn to make dinner these days. Everything was just so tiring. But, Jonathan was doing a lot more around the house when he wasn’t working late, which was always so appreciated. He always was doing so much for me, but it had really increased in the last few months. He was sweeter than ever, really.

I heard the front door open and couldn’t help smiling. It was my favorite time of day, when we could both finally come home and be together.

“How are my two favorite people doing this evening?” Jonathan asked, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my ever-growing belly.

“Mm. I’m okay. Baby’s feeling rambunctious, I think.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jonathan kissed my cheek. “What’s he doing?”

“She has been kicking me constantly for the past hour and a half.”

As if on cue, I felt another kick. Jonathan chuckled, feeling it, too. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I know it’s uncomfortable for you, but I have to admit, it excites me every time.”

“It is exciting that she’s growing and healthy but,” I sighed. “It’s exhausting being kicked from the inside all the time.”

Jonathan moved to stand next to me, gently nudging me away from the cutting board, gingerly taking the knife out of my hand. “I’ll take over, you go lay down.”

“No, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to complain. It’s my turn for dinner duty.”

He set the knife down on the counter and turned to me, rubbing my upper arms affectionately. “Baby, you’re growing a human and working full time. You have a right to complain about how tired you are.” He gently kissed my forehead and made a “shoo” motion with his hand. “Go, take care of yourself and our little boy.”

I laughed, doing what he said. Jonathan and I had been arguing about whether the baby would be a boy or a girl since we found out I was pregnant. Really, neither of us cared what the sex was, and gender is just a construct anyway, but it had turned into a goofy game we played with each other frequently.

Wally came up and snuggled with me as I watched Jonathan expertly move around our kitchen. He told me about his day, all about how he loves working with architecture. I grinned. I was so proud of him for doing what he wanted to do, and so thankful that he would be here and safe with our family from now on.

Jonathan helped me off the couch when dinner was ready (even though I’ve told him several times it wasn’t really necessary), and we laughed and talked all the way through the night.

“I’m so excited to be a dad,” he murmured as we were getting ready for bed that night, pressing a light kiss to my stomach.

“You’re going to be the best dad,” I said, running my hands through his hair as he knelt in front of me.

“You think?” he said, looking up at me with a smile.

Just then, the baby kicked. “Yeah. The baby knows it already, too. She always kicks when she hears your voice.”

Jonathan's eyes were shining as he pressed his lips to my stomach again and whispered. “I love you so much already, little one. I can’t wait to meet you.”

I fell asleep that night in Jonathan’s arms, feeling more thankful than I ever thought possible.

~~~

“Dad, will you push me on the swings again?”

“Hey, he just pushed you! It’s my turn now, right Dad?”

Jonathan glanced at me, beaming, before turning back to the kids. “Lucy’s right, Sam. It’s her turn now, but it’ll be your turn again next, okay?”

Sam groaned and ran to my place on the park bench, sitting next to me and leaning his little head against my arm. “I can’t wait til the new baby comes so you can push us again, Mom.”

I laughed, running my hand through Sam’s blond hair and looking back to watch Jonathan and Lucy laughing by the swings. “Are you excited to be a big brother again?”

“Yeah!” he grinned up at me. His smile reminded so much of Jonathan’s, it almost hurt.

They went on like that for a while before Jonathan said, “You two push each other for a while, okay? I’m gonna go check on your mom.”

Jonathan settled in next to me, draping his arm across my shoulders and resting his cheek on the top of my head. “How are you feeling?” he asked in a low voice.

“I’m good, Jonathan, you don’t have to keep such a close eye on me. I’ve done this before,” I joked.

He kissed my cheek. “You know I can’t help it. I love keeping my eye on you,” he said teasingly, nuzzling my neck.

I laughed.

We grew quiet for a bit and he looked at me quizzically. “Are you okay? Something on your mind?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just been thinking…” I trailed off, not sure if I should bring it up.

“About?”

“Well, the kids love playing outside.”

“Yes…”

“And we don’t have much of a yard…”

“True,” he said, looking at me with anticipation.

“And we’re about to have another kid.”

“I had noticed that,” he joked.

“So…” I trailed off again, looking at him.

He was smiling. “So. I think we're going to need a bigger house.”

I grinned. “I think so, too.”

Jonathan got a mischievous glint in his eye, and he leaned close to my ear, so the kids wouldn’t be able to hear a thing. “We’ll need a babysitter the day we move in.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, we’ll have to consummate every room, just like we did in our house now.”

I burst out laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Yes! It brought us good luck, I think.”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” I asked as he leaned in to kiss me.

“Ewww!” Sam and Lucy shrieked in unison.

Jonathan sighed, smiling at me. “I love you, sweetheart.”

I beamed. “I love you, too.”

#lovelink #lovelink jonathan #jonathan hayes fic #jonathan hayes x reader #jonathan hayes x mc #jonathan hayes #Jonathan hayes lovelink #jonathan hayes fanfic #albert bishop #lovelink albert #lovelink fanfic #lovelink fanfiction #lovelink fluff #jonathan hayes fluff #fluff fanfic

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sagamemes · 3 years

Text

podiots sentence starters. here and under the cut, you can find a total of 55 lines of dialogue from the podcast podiots, all from quite early on in their podcast series. contains mentions of serial killers, death, euthanasia, and some bathroom humour. as always, feel free edit to your heart’s content to suit your needs.

❝ i called you twice! ❞

❝ to this day, i still don't like murky water in video games. or in real life. ❞

❝ there goes your phone. ❞

❝ love hurts. everything hurts. ❞

❝ finland has it all. ❞

❝ and there's tapes of them. which, of course, haven't been released to the public. ❞

❝ my smugness dictates i'll go first. ❞

❝ i'll go next. ❞

❝ you need to kill three, and then you get your certificate and badge. ❞

❝ a tattoo's probably the least harmful thing he's done to himself. ❞

❝ you guys are very generous. ❞

❝ not a huge fan of serial killers, to be honest. ❞

❝ i'm sure they're very thrilled about that decision. ❞

❝ the fridge is quite expensive. ❞

❝ i was exposed to some pretty horrible things at a very young age. ❞

❝ [name]'s got a phd, she's a smart cookie. ❞

❝ i love that guy's voice. so soothing. what an accent. ❞

❝ that's fucking stupid, isn't it. ❞

❝ technically not a serial killer. you need to kill three. ❞

❝ on the box, it says it's got about 12,000 games. it's just those 76 games repeated over and over again. ❞

❝ i don't wanna be a debbie downer, but i don't think toys "r" us is coming back. ❞

❝ you're the special one. you're my favourite. ❞

❝ i'm sure i was probably just a huge distraction to things, but in my head, i was having fun and helping. ❞

❝ one more, and you're a serial killer. ❞

❝ i think he might---is he okay? ❞

❝ you were the real monster. ❞

❝ at this point, it's a health hazard. ❞

❝ it's lost now. ❞

❝ they're under lock and key, most of the day. ❞

❝ i'm not prepared. ❞

❝ i'm a smiley boy, i guess i'll go first. ❞

❝ we can't control him anymore, [name]. ❞

❝ we're literally children. ❞

❝ i guess if no one ever survives [place], you can't get a single bad review. ❞

❝ they gave up a long time ago. ❞

❝ i don't know how old i was, like something sort of early teens, so not /quite/ prepared for proper like junkie, weird, dinky drug dens. ❞

❝ you never went to ratemypoo.com? ❞

❝ that's what she gets for going to a very specific field. ❞

❝ who would like to ride the euthanasia rollercoaster? ❞

❝ he's a proper internet [pet] as well. you take any picture of [name] and he just looks like a meme. ❞

❝ slowly, limb by limb, they'll kill you. ❞

❝ yeah, i just went and beat the shit out of [name]. ❞

❝ i'm glad you asked. she is a xenoflatulogist. ❞

❝ i wanna be number one by next week. ❞

❝ is this the minority report? ❞

❝ that's a righteous cause. ❞

❝ that's fine. i'm fine... with swimming. around water. ❞

❝ you wanna go bowling? ❞

❝ what are we laughing at? ❞

❝ then my mum came in and said 'oh, why couldn't you have spent your money on something a bit more educational, [name]!' ❞

❝ i think they're a bit annoyed now. ❞

❝ this is your second warning. ❞

❝ the charm of stick and pokes is fucking it up and being scarred for the rest of your life. ❞

❝ i have about 30 hot wheels now. you can stop. ❞

❝ it's a snapchat... of my girlfriend. ❞

#sentence starters #sentence meme #angst sentences #rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #* sentences.#ran into this while cleaning my drafts #i think i meant to put more stuff in it but then i. didn't.#but it's still good so have at it

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tangledstarlight · 3 years

Note

“Can I pet your dog?”

“Do I know you?”

Willex please!

this took me so long because i got distracted looking up pictures of bernese mountain & australian shepherd mix puppies because they’re so dang cute!!! and is also the dog i picture reggie having, because i think it’s very funny for him to find a tiny puppy and for her to grow into this huge dog y’know? (here’s the first prompt where pep was mentioned i love her) but ok thank you for this prompt because it was really fun and cute to write!! i hope you like it!!

5. “can i pet your dog?” “do i know you?”

sentence starters

Alex had never really considered himself a dog person. Or a cat person. He didn’t really think he was a pet person at all. Maybe a goldfish if he had to pick but even then he’d be constantly worrying if the fish had the right water or the right food or was in a big enough tank. Hm. Maybe he wasn’t a fish person either. And it wasn’t that he didn’t like animals. Because he did. He loved getting to hang out with his friends' pets. But having one that was sorely his responsibility? No thank you, he could barely look after himself.

And yet, when Reggie had found a three month old Pep on the side of the road and brought her home, all wide eyed and shivering, Alex had found himself the proud uncle to a dog. And it was fine. Mostly. Things might have been even better if the tiny puppy Reggie had found hadn’t grown into a big dog who had a favourite place on the sofa and would kick you out of her seat.

But it was fine. He didn’t mind. His main responsibility was to just give the lots of hugs and pets whenever Reggie wasn’t around. Which honestly, Alex didn’t mind doing. Pep was more than happy to sit on his feet while he tried to get some life admin done.

But then there were days like today when Reggie had something come up and Julie and Luke were at work and that left the mid-afternoon walk up to him. If Pep seemed to mind she didn’t let on, just waited patiently for Alex to get the hint about going to the dog park down the street and oh so kindly only nearly pulled him over once.

He knows there’s a fenced in section towards the back where Reggie normally takes her and lets her run around, but Alex is a little apprehensive about her coming back when he calls so he makes an executive decision to just walk around the path a few times. He’ll just tell Reggie she might need an extra ten minutes during her even walk.

They’re stood by a lamp post –– because Pep must stop and smell every lamp post for the latest in dog news apparently, like it might have changed since the last one ten steps away –– when Alex here’s something clatter to the pavement behind him. Glancing over his shoulder all he sees is a skateboard rolling slowly towards him and the owner looking over at him and –– fuck. He was really fucking attractive and–– and walking towards him.

Alex feels his eyes widen a fraction, fingers gripping Pep’s lead tightening as the stranger stops a few feet away and smiles at him. Wide and bright, teeth on display and reaching his eyes.

“Can I pet your dog?”

It takes Alex a moment to make his head communicate with his mouth and even then all he manages to get out is a slightly strangled, “Huh?”

The man blinks, smile softening a hint and, if Alex’s mind was actually working correctly he’d swear the guy gave him a once over. But it clearly wasn’t working right because there was no way the guy with the brightest smile Alex had ever seen was checking him out.

“Can I pet your dog?” he says again, eyes darting down to Pep who has also noticed the stranger, tail thumping against the back of Alex’s leg as she lunges forward, apparently not waiting for anyone's answer to the question.

The stranger kneels down as Pep shoves her nose straight into his face, tongue swiping across his cheek in a way that makes the man actually fucking giggle. Jesus christ. Alex didn’t even know he had a thing for guys giggling until right this very second. His fingers thread through the dogs fur, patting and scratching in all the places that Alex knows Pep likes best and –– he frowns, head tilting a little to the side.

“Do I know you?” he blurts out before he can stop himself. And well, it’s too late now because the stranger is gazing up at him with amusement in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

“No,” he shakes his head and Alex watches as a strand of hair that's worked it’s way loose out of his bun falls across his face, “But you’re one of Reggie’s roommates right? I wanna say...Alex?”

Alex thinks he might have bluescreened for a second there because he could swear the very attractive stranger literally on his knees in front of him knows his name and that Reggie has been hiding him.

“You know Reggie?” It’s the only thing he can focus on.

“Yup. Pep chased me on my skateboard a couple of weeks ago and he insisted on apologising with an ice cream and I guess we’re sort of friends now?” The stranger shrugs at him and seems about to say something else when Pep pushes her the side of her face into his hands in a silent demand for more attention that he’s apparently happy to give.

Which is probably good, because Alex needs a moment to let his thoughts sort themselves out and not land immediately on wanting to curse Reggie for being able to make friends with just about anyone on the damn planet.

“Pep likes you,” Alex says, trying to sound casual and not like he was worried the silence had stretched on too long between them.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just because I always let her finish my ice cream off. Isn’t that right Miss Pep? Half an ice cream for me, half for you,” he holds Pep’s head in his hands as he says it, eyes comically wide and fingers tapping under her chin. Pep lets out a small bark in response and the stranger's eyes light up.

Alex is too busy zeroing in on the fact apparently everytime they bump into each other they go for ice cream now. No wonder Pep is excited to see him.

“Well, you’ve got her excited for ice cream now,” he mutters, though he can’t help but feel a little bit fond of the way her tail thumps against his leg as the whole backend of her shakes.

“Shit, sorry. We uh don’t have to do that. It’s cool,” the stranger says as he stands up with a small frown twisting his lips and a final pat to Pep’s head that makes her whine a little.

And well, if anyone asks he can just say he didn’t want to disappoint poor Pep when the next words leave his mouth, “No, no we should uh. We should get ice cream. It’s cool.”

“Yeah?” His eyes light up as a smile slowly starts to spread across his face again.

“Yeah,” he gives a shrug that he hopes comes across as nonchalant and watches as the man steps on the end of his skateboard so it’s easier to pick up, though it doesn’t totally stop the way his crop top rides up a little. Alex wets his dry lips and drags his eyes away from exposed flashes of skin about to bright eyes. “I’m uh Alex, by the way.”

“I know,” the stranger laughs and Alex almost swears because right. Of course he does. Apparently Reggie tells everyone his whole life story and that includes him. “I’m Willie.”

“Hi,” Alex replies, almost immediately feeling stupid for it and can feel heart already rushing to his cheeks. He’d probably have tried to run away if he didn’t think Pep would plot against him and run in the opposite direction to him.

But then Willie is smiling at him again, head dipping in a slight nod before tilting to the side, eyebrows wigging, “Hey. Wanna get ice cream with me?”

And well, Alex can’t say no to that. It’s for Pep after all. Maybe he could be a pet person if he meant getting ice cream with cute guys.

#ask #julie and the phantoms #alex mercer #willie #willex #willie jatp #once again i will say pep is short of pepperoni #Anonymous #*prompts

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averykedavra · 4 years

Text

No Longer Will You Deceive Yourself

Anon asked: Demus? Where Remus thinks Janus is gonna leave him but Janus is like, "Honey no. You're stuck with me-"

Sassy, I love it. And yes, I haven’t touched these prompts, but I was really tired today and needed to write some quick hurt/comfort, so sue me. Warning: I am, as said before, really tired, and I am writing this during my online graduation, so it will probably be not great and somewhat OOC. Thanks to @chaospersonified for supplying me with the plural of Pocky. Title from Forbidden Fruit ‘cause it’s late and I can’t function.

Find this fic on Ao3 here!

Summary: Remus knows Janus is going to leave. He has the Light Sides now--he doesn’t need Remus. He just wishes Janus would get it over with.

Words: 2733

Pairings: Platonic Dukeceit.

Warnings: blood mention, death mention, violence mention, swearing, self-deprecation, self-isolation, sympathetic Janus and Remus

Remus isn’t a patient person.

Okay, yeah, big shocker. He’s all about surprise and excitement and adventure and pushing the envelope. He’s filled with energy, vibrating and dancing and spreading through him at every possible opportunity. He has a million thoughts that tug him in different directions and splinter his bones into little pieces and he follows them blindly, leash around his neck, ‘cause why not? There’s no point in waiting if he can do something already. It’s instant gratification or things get boring. Everything could always be more exciting and more disturbed and faster.

Sometimes Remus wonders if he sees the world faster than everyone else, if other people don’t feel like everyone else is in slow motion. Probably not. It’s probably a weird Remus thing, like every other part of Remus, another trait that sets him apart. Being unique is fun, but it’s lonely, especially when you’re the kind of unique no one wants.

“People hate what they don't understand,” Janus would say. “Society is built to reject anyone who doesn’t conform to its standards, unless that nonconformity can be harnessed for its own ends. Nobody is perfect, they’re just better at hiding it. You have freedom, and that is something many people would kill for.”

Janus was always good at reassuring Remus. Well, in his own way, which was basically “Eat the rich.”

Remus still isn’t a patient person, though, and that’s why he wants Janus to just leave.

He knows Janus is gonna. He knew it the moment Janus came back downstairs after that video, wild glee on his face. He knew it the moment Janus whispered “I told him.” He knew it when he watched that episode--seriously, Patton could turn into a frog with killer abs? Who knew--and he saw Janus take off those ridiculous gloves and share his name. And Roman was a bitch about it, so Remus reminded himself to stab Roman at some point, but Thomas wasn’t. Thomas accepted Janus. Patton accepted Janus. And if Patton said something, then it was law.

Janus had a place now. He’d pulled a Virgil, clawed himself up from the recesses of Thomas’ mind and snatched a seat at the table. He had it all before him now: baking cookies with Patton, listening to music with Virgil, debating with Logan, questing with Roman. He had all that love and that happiness and that disgusting goodness.

With that as an option, why would he ever choose Remus?

Remus, with his too-loud voice. Remus, with his despicable ideas. Remus, with his inability to remember boundaries--hug, don’t hug, Janus lied but sometimes he didn’t and Remus could never tell which--and his inability to stop himself from blurting out everything that came to mind. He was so sensitive sometimes, too. Every short reprimand felt like a knife stabbing through the lining of his heart. Every time someone turned away and ignored him was a rope around his neck, choking him out. And not in a fun way.

Remus is everything wrong with Thomas. No one in their right mind would choose to be around him. Janus only liked him because there was no one else, and without someone by your side, the Mindscape was a cold and empty place.

One particularly evil and selfish part of Remus was almost glad when Virgil left. It meant Remus had Janus all to himself. It meant he could scrounge up more scraps of attention and pretend that attention was affection, acknowledgment was respect, and companionship was friendship.

Now Janus has a better option waiting for him.

And Remus has spent three days waiting for him to leave.

Look, he gets it. Janus wouldn’t want to nope out right away. He probably feels bad for Remus, wants to get everything sorted before he leaves for good. Maybe, Remus dares to hope, he’ll miss Remus. Just a little bit.

Because Remus will miss Janus. He will. It hurts like hell to even imagine life without the sassy snake by his side. He’ll have to learn to cook dinner, for starters. Probably end up just eating a million Pockies and human hands. Not healthy, but Remus can look however he wants, so it’s fine. And he can’t die.

No, it’s the little things that he’ll miss. Janus’ snicker whenever Remus makes a particularly dirty joke. The way their shoulders bump when they watch horror movies together. The way Janus nods along as Remus rants about whatever, hardly listening but still trying to look respectful. The way Janus hugs him with all six arms and lets Remus curl up against his chest and be safe.

He’ll miss all that. But this is a huge opportunity for Janus! Remus wants his friend to be happy, even if Janus doesn’t care about him.

He’s not selfish enough to force Janus to stay.

Maybe he’s on the wrong side of the Mindscape if he’s trying to be selfless.

Well, he can’t say he hasn’t considered it--lock Janus in a closet so he’ll never leave. He thought about it with Virgil, too. But Janus would escape and Virgil would escape, and they’d be mad, and then there’d be no chance of them ever even saying hi to him again.

Well, Virgil didn’t anyway. So maybe Remus has nothing to lose.

Still. The thought of keeping Janus there against his will makes Remus feel weirdly icky. Is this what morals feel like? He suddenly has a lot of pity for Patton--they feel all twisty and guilty, like snakes in his stomach.

Remus tries his best to ignore the snakes. And the snake, the one who spends less and less time with him, who spends more and more time upstairs. The one who comes back downstairs smelling like cookies.

If he can ignore Janus, if he can get out of Janus’ way, it’ll be easier for both of them.

So he doesn’t come out for breakfast. He gets used to days without Janus, nights on his own, smashing in the skulls of thousands of enemies to fill his mind with blood and guts and murder because that’s safe and not all sappy and sickly like the feelings in his stomach.

It’s lonely. He’ll admit that. He wonders if it would be worth it to go fight his brother or torture Thomas or follow Patton around, but odds are, Janus will already be there. And he doesn’t think he can face Janus. His resolve is shaky and crumbling like an old castle, and one kind word from Janus would send it crumbling down. He’d probably end up crying, begging for Janus to stay. And maybe Janus would for Remus’ sake, and Remus would have to live with the fact that he was making Janus miserable. Or maybe Janus would look him in the eyes and say that Remus should suck it up, that no one wanted the evil twin, that he was Intrusive Thoughts and not Needy Bitch Thoughts.

That’s what Remus was. Needy. Like a dragon with its hoard. Scrambling for the last bits of happiness he could find.

Who needed happiness anyway? Who needed friendship? He had a mace and a pet octopus, he was good to go.

He was fine. Really. He summoned food in the Imagination and watched conspiracy theories to get himself to fall asleep. Everything was fine. Janus was probably packing up now, getting ready to go, probably glad to be rid of an awkward goodbye.

It was a surprise when on day three, Remus heard a knock on the door.

He considered just ignoring it. But the knocking came again, louder. He heard his name. Janus.

Why was Janus here?

Curiosity won out over logic, and Remus tossed the bleeding opossum he’d been dissecting to the side. Carefully maneuvering around piles of bones, he trotted over and opened the door.

He tried to brace himself for anything. Anger, joy, disgust.

He didn’t expect Janus to sigh in relief and hug Remus around the waist.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Remus quickly extricated himself from the hug. It felt good, but Janus was leaving, so he shouldn’t let himself enjoy it. “Cat got your dick?”

“I haven’t seen you for three days!” Janus exclaimed. “Are you alright?”

Remus stared blankly at Janus. “What?”

“It’s been three days,” Janus said. That didn’t clear anything up. “Did you lose track of time in the Imagination?”

“Naw,” Remus said, because lying to Janus wasn’t a good idea. “Just got wrapped up in stuff. Why, whatcha need?”

“I needed to check on you.” Janus’ frantic worry had softened, now, replaced with concern. “Have you eaten? Is everything alright?”

“I’ve eaten, duh,” Remus said, carefully avoiding the second question. “What’s the big deal here? Where’s the fire? Do you need me to kick Thomas in the ass?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Janus said slowly. “At least in that regard, but--”

“Then I don’t see why you need me!” Remus laughed. “Look, it’s wonderful to see you, but I’ve got some very important things to dissect so if you could let me go that would be ve-ry-nice, thank you!”

“Wait.” Janus reached forward and grabbed Remus’ arm. Remus could easily fight Janus off, he was a real twink, but Remus found himself rooted to the spot. “I want to know what happened.”

“What?” Remus laughed again, ignoring how brittle it sounded. “Nothing happened!”

Janus gave him a long look. “Go ahead, keep lying, it’s not like I can taste them or anything.”

“Whatever.” Remus folded his arms. “I’m in a mood to smash some skulls. You volunteering yours?”

If this were anyone else, they would have left. Janus stood his ground. “I want to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because--” Janus threw up his hands. “Because I’m worried about you, you idiot! You disappeared with no warning! What am I supposed to do with that information, keep going about my business as usual? I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt or dead, and now you’re clearly lying to me, so I want to make sure that mentally, you’re okay.”

Remus laughed. “I’m Intrusive Thoughts, Jan, I think it’s against my job description to be mentally okay.”

“Be that as it may.” Janus’ eyes were painfully soft. “I’m worried, Remus. If I'm the cause you can talk to someone else, maybe Patton--”

“Hold on, hold on!” Remus frowned. “If you’re the cause?”

“I mean...” Janus suddenly developed an interest in his gloves. “There are so many other people around that could have upset you, you know.”

“You didn’t--” Remus stopped himself before a lie could escape.

“I did,” Janus said, his mouth falling open. “Remus, I’m sorry, whatever it is--”

And Remus understood now. Janus had searched him out because he felt guilty, and maybe he didn’t want Remus dead. If Remus was hurt, after all, Thomas would probably be affected. And now Janus felt even more guilty and maybe he’d try and stick around for Remus’ sake, but Remus couldn’t reassure Janus that it wasn’t his fault because technically it was and Janus could sense lies.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“I’m sorry,” Janus repeated, the words forced but genuine.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Remus said with a wave of his hand. Truth.

“I must have done something,” Janus said, eyes narrowed.

“You’re not doing it on purpose.” Truth.

“If it’s hurting you,” Janus said, “I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s hurting me.” Truth.

So why did Janus’ eyes flash?

“Of course it matters,” Janus snapped. “Why would you even say that?”

Remus shrugged. “I’m bored. Can I leave now?”

“No!” Janus seemed to regret raising his voice as soon as he did. “Remus, please just talk to me.”

“I’m not one for talking,” Remus said with a grin. “Try something more hands-on.”

“Holy shit.” Janus rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to reach out and you’re being insufferable.”

“That’s me!” Remus wiggled his hips. “Dunno what you expected, JanJan!”

“Look.” Janus looked Remus in the face. “Please just say, no tricks or sexual innuendos, that you are alright.”

“I’m...alright?”

Janus’ lips tightened. “You were lying.”

Remus froze. “Oh.”

He was? He wasn’t alright? He thought he was. Well, maybe he wasn’t. He was sad. But he was okay with this. He’d come to terms with it. Right?

Janus was saying his name. Remus realized he’d zoned out. Quickly he pasted a too-wide smile on his face. “What were you saying?”

Janus’ eyebrows drew together. “Remus, do you want to come into the kitchen? I can make us food and we can talk this out, or--”

“Why bother?” Remus blurted out without thinking.

Janus reeled back like he’d been slapped. “What?”

“Nothing!” Remus immediately clarified. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it--”

“What did you mean.” Janus’ face was getting scary intense. “Tell me.”

“Look.” Remus raised his hands. “It’s not a big deal, if you knew what the problem was you’d agree, you don’t have to worry or anything.”

“Well, what’s the problem?”

“Not a big one!”

“I hate this.” Janus closed his eyes. “We could go in circles forever, or you could actually tell me what’s on your mind. You’ve never hesitated before,” he added, “of course this is the one time you have an ounce of self-control.”

Remus flinched. He couldn’t help it.

Janus’ eyes widened slightly. “Re?” he asked, using the nickname Remus hadn’t heard since they were kids.

“Leave me alone,” Remus choked out, reaching for the doorknob.

“Remus, wait--”

“Leave me alone!” Remus yelled. “Stop fucking drawing it out and just leave! I know you want to, I get it, leave already before you drive me insane!”

"Remus,” Janus said slowly, “what are you saying?”

“I know you want to,” Remus said, his voice cracking. “Just--just leave, okay? Go make friends with the others. Make up with Virgil. I’m fine on my own. I am! I’m--I’m fine.”

He knew Janus could taste the lies in the air, that hugged Remus’ throat and burned in his eyes. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. They were the last things that gave him comfort, the last ragged bits of protection against the world, against the contemptuous look Janus would clearly give him, finally realizing that there wasn’t a problem, it was just Remus being stupid and needy again--

“You think I’m going to leave?” Janus whispered. Why was he drawing it out? Just to torture Remus? Remus liked torture but not like this, not all scratchy and achey.

“Yeah, duh.” Remus shrugged, swiping at his eyes. “Don’t blame you. ‘S better up there. No me.”

He risked a glance at Janus, bracing for a glare of anger. Instead, he got Janus standing there, his mouth open, looking absolutely gutted.

What?

“Who told you I was leaving?” Janus asked.

“No one.”

“Good.” Janus stepped forward. “Because I’m not.”

Remus tried to piece together that sentence. “Huh?”

“I’m not leaving,” Janus repeated. “I would never even think of that. Why on earth would you think I would? You wouldn’t last a day without me taking care of you.”

“I lasted three,” Remus pointed out. “A-and it’s okay. You don’t have to f-force yourself to stay for my sake. I’m okay with it.”

“Well, I’m not!” Janus exclaimed. “Remus, you’re my best friend! I couldn’t just leave you behind!”

“You don’t have to feel guilty, I get it--”

“This is not guilt.” Janus stared into Remus’ eyes. “This is love. I love you, you are my best friend, and you are stuck with me until the end of time. Will things change now that Patton has finally seen sense? Yes. But if I ever do end up going upstairs?” Janus smiled. “I’m taking you with me.”

“Really?” Remus whispered. “But they hate me.”

“Too bad.” Janus cupped a hand around his mouth and glanced around. “Don’t tell anyone, but they have terrible taste.”

Remus giggled, and Janus laughed too, and Janus laughing was the best thing in the whole entire world.

“You’re not leaving,” Remus repeated, hoping this wasn’t a dream.

“I’m not,” Janus agreed. “So stop being stupid and come help me make lunch--oof!”

Remus wrapped his arms around Janus, squeezing tightly, burying his face in Janus’ shoulder.

And Janus didn’t laugh or judge him. He just hugged back, all six arms, and waited there until Remus was ready.

Remus knew he could take all the time he needed.

Janus wouldn’t leave.

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

Note

2 bathtub and 9 folklore, sternclay, sfw, please!

Here you go! Barclay's design is based on a blue catfish.

He wanted the bigfoot assignment. Days spent tramping through the chilly forests of the pacific northwest instead of sweating off a pound a day in Louisiana swamps. But no, he’s assigned to the Loup Garou case until further notice, because one mammalian cryptid expert is as good as another.

It’s not like he’s devoted most of his career to bigfoot or anything.

Contrary to popular belief, FBI agents do not spend all their time in suits. As much as Stern aims to emulate Special Agent Dale Cooper, slacks and a suit jacket are not suitable for tromping through the mud and staving off the humidity. Between his outdoor wear and the tranquilizer rifle over his shoulder, he looks like he could be in some shitty seventies Sasquatch hunting movie.

His best lead is the strange, black fur he found near the location of the most recent sighting, and the ranger in the nearby national park assured him it didn’t come from any common wildlife. So it could be a human cursed to transform into a wolf every night. Or it could just be someone’s dog.

Dusk has come and gone before he turns back towards his cabin, rented for it’s proximity to the supposedly-Loup-Garou-harboring swamp and the reviews citing good water pressure and a large tub. Nothing like a nice bath or cold shower to wash off the heat and grime of the day.

A crack in the trees to his right. There’s something moving, paralleling him. He stops, nerves taught as a drawn bow.

The growl starts low, draws his eyes to a dark-furred shape creeping from the brush. It’s definitely canine, definitely bigger than him, and definitely sees him as dinner. Stern holds his ground, raises the rifle, not willing to fire until he’s certain this is his quarry. All doubts evaporate when it stands on its hind legs and howls. Human eyes lock onto him as the monster stalks forward.

Stern fires, hitting the werewolf in the shoulder. It doesn’t so much as stumble.

“Shit” He loads another dart, fires, and gets the exact same result. There’s no chance of outrunning it, and while he has his handgun he doesn’t want to resort to that unless he absolutely has to.

The creature lunges and Stern dodges, slipping into the water as a result. It swipes a claw out, which he keeps from his face by blocking it with the body of the rifle. His brief hope that the creature can’t swim is quashed when it prowls into the water after him. Something huge swim past his legs and he winces; if he dies by alligator instead of werewolf he’ll never hear the end of it.

As the monster surges forward, something huge bursts from the water between them, knocking Stern off balance in the process. His head goes under and when he scrambles up, spluttering, the werewolf is limping as fast as it can into the undergrowth. And floating face-down in front of him is a man, four jagged rips in his side tinting the water around them a sickly red.

“Sir?” Stern rolls the man over and, in spite of all his training, exclaims, “holy shit.”

The man doesn’t have legs. His hips give way to a smooth, grey-blue tail that twitches weakly when Stern touches him. The wound is visible here too, marring tail and torso alike. It doesn’t take a genius to put together what happened. Or that the Loup Garou won’t make it far with the bite the merman delivered. He could catch it. But he doubts the mer in front of him will survive without medical attention.

He loops his arms under a limp body and makes a mental note to never, ever tell Agent Hayes about this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barclays’ whole side is burning.

“Ow, Aubrey, easy with the healing.” He groans, rolling away from the feeling and immediately bonking his head on something cold and solid. Cracking an eye open reveals a white tub and wooden wall. Cautiously, he glances at his stomach and side and finds it bandaged. When he manages another half-turn, he finds a dark-wood bathroom with a human slumped against the wall. It’s the one he saved, though he’s down to a thin white shirt and what he knows to be boxers. For all the blood there must have been, the room and tub are spotless.

He raises up, hoping for a better look at a handsome face, only to catch his side on the edge of the tub.

“OWfuck!”

The man jolts awake, is by Barclay’s side in an instant, “Thank the lord, I was worried you’d lost too much blood to pull through.” He runs a hand through his black hair, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I was trying to monitor you for signs I’d have to give up and call the paramedics. I, um, assumed you didn’t want to just be dragged into a human hospital.”

“Yeah, no, not my fave.” His tail flutters awkwardly, “uh, why did you bring me here, then?”

“Because I wasn’t going to leave you to bleed out in a swamp. I learned field medicine for a reason; it’s nice to use it on someone other than myself. Or, well, not nice, but, um-”

“No, I get it. It’s just that, uh, I have lots of friends in the swamp. One of them probably woulda found me. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble or put me in a tub.”

“Oh.” The human sags a little, his confident smile faltering a moment.

“I mean, I really appreciate it. And it looks like you’re good at, uh, stitches and stuff.” He rubs his arms, “uh, sorry. I’m not used to waking up in unfamiliar guys bathtubs.”

“I’m not in the habit of keeping mermen in my tub so, um, I guess we’re even?” His smile is a little shyer, blue eyes reminding Barclay of a spring sky.

The mer holds out the hand on his uninjured side, “I’m Barclay.”

“Joseph” The man shakes it, “it’s nice to meet you. Is, um, is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? Is the water alright? I can go get some from the swamp if that would be better.”

“As long as I don’t dry out I’ll be fine. Uh, do you have any food?”

“Some groceries, but if you want something specific I can run into town.”

Barclay weighs his hunger and wooziness against the desire not to reveal too much, and his stomach emerges triumphant, “Does this place have a take-out menu for the South Bank Cafe?”

“I...think so? Let me look” The human stands, walking out into another room on long legs that Barclay wants to loop around his waist, continues speaking as paper rustles, “I didn't know merpeople used take-out.”

“Uh, when they live close to humans they do. As long as some of those humans are willing to pick it up.”

Joseph returns, familiar pink menu in one hand and phone in the other, “What would you like?”

“Three fried oyster po’boys please.”

The human orders four of the sandwiches and some coconut cream pie on Barclay’s suggestion leaves the mer to nap while he goes to retrieve it. Charmingly, he puts all the food onto plates and pours the bottled sweet tea into glasses before arranging it on the bathroom floor.

“Cheers.” Joseph raises his glass. Barclay hesitates, trying to remember which human ritual this is, then clinks his own against it.

They barely talk until the plates are clean and Joseph is luxuriating in a second slice of pie, at which point the human explains what the fuck he was doing looking for a rougarou anyway. Barclay has given up on his desire to study the humans face as he eats and is laying on his back, eyes shut, feeling full and content in spite of the nagging pain in his side. Joseph reluctantly gave him painkillers, explaining he was worried about how human medicine would interact with mer biology. So far, all it’s done is made him drowsy.

“Barclay? Why did you get between me and the Loup Garou?”

“Because I didn’t want you to get killed. Like, for starters, I don’t want people to get hurt, and rougarous are nasty fuckers. But also when someone dies in the swamps, a lot of people blame mers for it. So it’s better if we keep humans from getting eaten on our turf.” He feels around for his tea, finds it when Joseph sets cool glass in his hand. His whole body is heavy.

A soft laugh, “Drugs kicking in?”

“Uh huh.”

A scuff as Joseph stands, “I’ll leave you to get some rest. I’m just in the next room, if you need me.” Two steps, then a pause, “actually, let me drain the tub some and put fresh water in.”

Barclay’s pretty sure he says thank you before he falls asleep.

---------------------------------------------------

Joseph wakes up at the cursing coming through the walls. Rounding the corner into the bathroom, he finds Barclay clutching his upper tail with one hand, gritting his teeth.

“What’s wrong?”

“Cramp, really fucking bad one, tends to happen when I get injured and can’t swim. Fuck me if I know why.”

“Here” he kneels next to the tub, water splashing onto his white tank top, “let me try rubbing it out. Is this the spot?”

“YeahOWoh, ohhhfuck” Barclay whimpers, “that’s helping, please keep going.”

He moves his fingers down the smooth skin, muscles spasming under his hands before they surrender to relaxation. Gradually Barclay un-tenses, his whimpers giving way to sighs, and Joseph isn’t really tending to his charlie horse anymore; he’s just petting his tail.

“Thanks, Jo-”

A scratch outside freezes them both. Joseph holds up his hand, signalling for Barclay to stay quiet. It’s the window. Something is opening the window. Worse, a count of five later, the cabin groans as something heavy reaches the floor.

His gun is in the other room, because he’s not about to sleep with it on his person. To get to it, he’ll have to put himself right in the path of the intruder dragging themselves across the floor.

The door creaks open, revealing red eyes in the darkness of the cabin.

“Shit.” He starts to stand, keeping himself between the threat and Barclay.

“There you are. Goodness, we were all worried sick.”

Joseph stays still, but Barclay tries to sit up, “Indrid!”

Their visitor slithers into the room, his upper body human but his tail reminding Stern of a Cottonmouth, “We’ve been looking for you all day; Dani found blood at your watch site but not you. I even swam to the park to ask Duck if he’d seen you.”

“Uh huh, I’m sure that was your only reason.”

“Hush.” He turns his alarming gaze on Joseph, “I saw you ending up with this human in many timelines, but I put off following them for fear of being seen. But he’s taking this rather well.”

“I’m an FBI agent with the UP. Handling strange phenomena with grace is basically my job.”

“Intriguing.” Indrid cocks his head, then his face goes blank for a moment. When life returns to it, he coils his tail to settle next to Barclay, “it seems the most positive timelines occur if you continue your convalescence here. In that case, I’ll leave you be and let the others know you’re alright. I’ll stop by again in a few days. And yes, Joseph, since you’re about to ask, I will knock this time.”

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Barclay spends most of the next three days eating and sleeping, the combination of pain and painkillers making him sluggish. Joseph is better company than he ever could have hoped for, changing his bandages and sharing meals while regaling him with stories of the world beyond the swamps.

The human rises early, so he’s usually gone to work by the time Barclay wakes up. He’s feeling better this morning, so his internal clock wakes him just as the sound of water in the sink fills the room.

Joseph is bent over, naked from the waist up and using a coffee mug to dump water onto his hair. Beside him is a tube labeled, “compact body wipes.”

“Uh, what are you doing?”

The human starts, but then replies, “getting ready for the day. I have to go into town to meet with the sheriff about this case.”

“Can’t you just use the tub? I can make room, it’s big enough for both of us.”

Joseph’s whole torso is going pink, “I, um, assumed you didn’t want me randomly turning up in your space naked.”

He shrugs, “I’m naked right now.”

“Right.” Joseph gingerly sets the mug down, “right. I guess you are. Um. I don’t mean to be rude, since this is mainly a difference in mer and human culture, but would you be willing to close your eyes while I shower?”

Barclay nods, scoots to the far end of the tub while Joseph pulls the plug to keep the bath from overflowing. Then he shuts his eyes, focuses on the splashes up his legs, the change in the tempo of the falling water that signals it hitting a human body. Joseph showers efficiently, turns the steam mint scented with one of the bottles he keeps in the corner of the tub. Then he’s telling Barclay to open his eyes, towel wrapped around his waist and smile on his face.

“I feel much better.”

Barclay doesn’t bother to hide his staring, “Me too.”

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Joseph hasn’t liked bathtime this much since his uncle gave him that rubber Nessie bath toy when he was five. Barclay is a much more enjoyable companion, even with his eyes closed. Joseph's also taken to wearing swim trunks and just sitting with him in the tub under the pretense of cooling off from the heat.

It’s not like his morning or evening rinse off lacks competition; Barclay is well enough that, through the use of a wheelbarrow, he can take trips to the back porch of the cabin to swim. His strength has weakened as a result of bedrest, but he’s improving quickly, and Joseph will often end up in the water with him to help him with particular stretches.

The first time another mer pops out of the water, he jumps with a combination of joy and alarm. Courtesy of Indrid, all the merfolk in the area know Joseph is trustworthy, which means he has even more people to question for his research. This is especially good because it means he and Barclay can talk about things other than work when they’re together. Barclay’s friends also offer information about the Loup Garou. So much, in fact, that Joseph determines there is something much larger than a single monster at play and is able to convince Hayes to let him continue the investigation indefinitely until he finds his answers.

When he gets the okay from his boss, he and Barclay celebrate with a massive dinner on the deck. As the mer hauls himself up out of the water after his final dip he slips, splashing sideways into a muddy patch. By the time Joseph gets them both inside, their skin and clothes are a mess.

“Here, let me rinse us off before I fill the tub for you.” Joseph turns on the shower, awkwardly straddling Barclay’s tail as he reaches to detach the head. He knows the mer is staring at him, his usually gentle gaze gaining an edge the way it always does when Joseph is down to his underwear or swim trunks. It doesn’t bother him; it seems a fair trade off for all the times he’s admired Barclays back and tail as he swam.

He turns, intending to hand the showerhead to the mer, only to lose his footing to a splotch of mud. It’s a graceless landing on his knees and Barclays’s tail, narrowly missing the fresh scar.

“Shit, that was close.”

“No kidding.” Barclay picks up the showerhead, turning it to a softer setting and rinsing off his tail. A teasing edge enters his rumble, “careful, might think you’re looking for ways to keep me here forever.”

“I guarantee none of them involve hurting you” he shuts his eyes as he lets the mer clean his neck. Then snaps them open when Barclay chuckles.

“That mean you have thought of some.”

“Yes. Not, um, not that I’d ever act on them. As much as I love your company, I don’t want you stuck in my tub forever.”

“You just want me to visit every day?”

“Um-”

“Or take you swimming in the evenings?”

“I-”

“Or let me finally watch you shower with my eyes open?” He flicks his tail playfully.

“I’ll admit all those crossed...my...mind.” Time turns to ice as Barclay leads forward, nuzzling his nose before bringing their lips together.

“Crossed mine too. I was so happy when you said you were staying.” He strokes Joseph’s cheek, “there’s so many fucking things I wanna do with you now that I’m getting better.”

“How many of them involve this tub?” Joseph kisses a teasing line across his cheek.

An adoring growl, “Plenty, babe.”

#sternclay #agent stern/Barclay #taz amnesty #mermay #mermay fills

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