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#but apparently she has nothing to do with any conflict ever and it’s always all on me
queerfanfiction · 8 months
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Could you write a fluffy smut where reader has mummy issues who cancelled on her for taking her bra shopping and Larissa offered to go with her and helps her pick out the perfect set but then it ends with smut idk you chose :)
Mummy Issues
Prompt is shown above. :)
word count: 3.6k includes: mommy issues, public-ish sex, discussion of trauma, fingering, fluff, mommy kink, praise kink
Your therapist is actually the one who suggested you ask your mom to go shopping with you to find a bra set for an upcoming performance. You’re not saying this specific reparenting technique doesn’t work, but there was no way in hell your mother was going to follow through. Still, you tried anyway. You were vulnerable anyway.
You’re exhausted from parenting your own parent, always considering other’s needs before your own. Fresh out of university and you still have never had anyone else take care of you for a change. The shopping idea was intended to be a low-stakes role reversal where your mom would step up to the task at hand.
Earlier that morning you texted your mom to confirm the meet up in Burlington. You never heard back, which wasn’t uncommon. Since you were coming all the way from Montreal, though, you expected some sort of acknowledgement. You even texted her as you were driving over to no avail. Downtown Burlington was not where you would have picked to shop if your mother was not involved. It was close to where she lived, and she loved the hustle and bustle of Church Street. To you it always seemed like a hot mess. Now you were in the middle of that mess alone.
After waiting in your car for 15 minutes, it doesn’t take a genius to know you got stood up once again. You contemplated just driving back right then and there. This wasn’t exactly something you wanted to do alone, yet none of your friends are in the area any longer. They all had moved away. Overwhelmed by the sheer fuckery of nothing ever working out, you were frustrated and tired. You consider breaking down into tears over the wasted trip and the years of parental neglect represented by this one instance.
The only person who you can think of still in the area is Ms. Weems. You suppose it’s Principal Weems now (thank you social media for that one). Is it weird to invite a former teacher you once had a massive crush on to go shopping? It’s been so long that it would be nice to catch up. You’re not going to lie, you were yearning to see the older woman. Impulsively, you dial the number she gave you for emergencies back when you attended Nevermore. To your surprise, a firm but sweet voice answers—the same voice that you’d fantasize about in your dorm when your roommate was out. You try to control your voice, but too many conflicting emotions make you croak and sniffle a bit when identifying yourself.
“My dear, is everything alright? And, please, it’s Larissa.” A tone of worry was inflected back to you by the other woman.
In an attempt to dodge the question about your wellbeing, you respond, “I’m actually back in Burlington, trying to find an outfit for an upcoming performance. Any chance you’re free?” You tried to sound as nonchalant as you could.
Larissa returned with, “Oh, I don’t wish to intrude, but it was very kind of you to think of me.” Shit, apparently too nonchalant…
You reflect on all the times Larissa had comforted you back at Nevermore. She was protective of all her students, but it truly meant the world to you. You had always thought it was just another day, another student problem for her. There were many times you were neglected or mistreated by your mother that Larissa was privy to back then. Knowing this, as a Hail Mary, you softly let slip out, “I was supposed to meet my mom…”
Without missing a beat, Larissa’s voice turned tight, “Where are you?” You glance at the cross streets, give her your location, and let her know the specific store you’re at. She concludes, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes, love.”
Your heart flutters at the familiar pet name.
You’re already occupying the changing room when Larissa arrives. She calls out for you, and you crack open the door to let her into the small fitting area.
You are met with the most comforting hug. Larissa stroked your hair and squeezed you tightly. The last time an embrace has felt so all-encompassing was also from Larissa, which is a bit embarrassing. You guess you just don’t have a lot of good huggers in your life, and it felt so nice to be held close by someone. You breathe out a long sigh, as if all your troubles are muted by the closeness of the woman in front of you. Her scent replaces the air in your lungs, and you consider how nice it would be to never end this embrace.
When she pulls back and sees that your eyes are slightly red and puffy, she bends down towards you to cup your face with both of her hands. All that comes out of her mouth is “Oh, sweetie.” You give her a half-hearted smile in response. Her hands immediately begin stroking your face, brushing hair from your eyes, and occasionally resting her thumb and index finger at your chin. This. This is what being cared for is; the realization hits you and radiates out through your body.
“I’m here for whatever you need. Would you like to debrief about your mother? Or carry on with what’s needed here?” Larissa gestures to the garments in the fitting room without taking her eyes off of you.
Noticing how close she still is to your face makes your head dizzy, and you stutter, “I-I need s-something to wear under a strapless dress that won’t show during a piano performance.”
Reassuringly, Larissa states, “We can do that. You know I have an eye for those sorts of things. We’ll have you sorted in no time.” She then moves her hands to your upper arms and rubs them before turning to examine the items already set out.
“Piano? It’s no wonder. You always played brilliantly at Nevermore,” Larissa continued elatedly, brandishing a supportive smile. You think back to times when you’d be practicing in Nevermore’s music auditorium alone and feel a comforting presence at the back of the concert hall near the doors. You always assumed it was your imagination, not daring to get your hopes up that someone cared enough to support you or cheer you on. Your mother made sure of that…
You feel so much more at ease with Larissa here. Now that you think about it, she has always provided stability and nurtured you. You remember that she would sometimes give you rides to Jericho when the only Nevermore vehicle at the time was in use. You credit a lot of your success with the piano to her too, because she would encourage you to do open mics at the Weathervane and signed you up to play at a parade that Jericho had every couple of years. 
Yes, you felt indebted to the tall, gorgeous woman before you. The years since you’ve seen her have only emphasized her beauty. Her demeanor is both commanding and protective. It’s as if she is more comfortable in her skin than before; there is a sureness in her stance that is nice to see and that you wish you had. Even though you always considered her fashionable, her clothes now exude a kind of pride and carefully crafted style. Larissa’s perfectly-coiffed updo accentuates the smooth, supple skin of her neck before disappearing beneath her expertly tailored dress.
These thoughts invoke a light blush from your cheeks, and you know you can’t speak about your crush on her in the past tense. Your immediate dry mouth while watching her is proof that it never went away. Now you’re wondering if you shouldn’t have sought her out to assist in purchasing the perfect underwear, especially because you see her turn towards the garments and an emotion flashes across her face when she realizes the kinds of items you’ve picked out and need assistance with.
You’ve always liked the idea of dressing up underneath your formal outfit. To you, it made it feel more special, gave you extra confidence. For instance, knowing a sexy lace set was underneath your clothes made you feel as if you had a fun secret. Though, you realize it’s probably inappropriate to expect Larissa to help with this. If she felt uncomfortable, she was hiding it well. You tried to continue on as if everything was normal, even though doing so felt impossible.
When Larissa sits on the small ledge provided in the dressing room, you emphasize, “Thank you again for coming. I just drove from where I am now in Montreal.”
Realizing you should continue trying items on, you reach to unbutton your shirt when you hear, “You poor thing! Have you eaten?”
At this, you scrunch your face and shake off your blouse. “I’ll get something after this.” So many conflicting emotions swirl inside of you. You’re conflicted at whether to relish in the desperately needed maternal care or to shrug it off as a defense mechanism.
You begin to unhook a bra from its hanger and feel like you should ask, “Do you mind?” Larissa interprets that you’d like to change from your bra into the new one, waving her hand dismissively and saying, “Go ahead” in a delicate manner.
Without looking too awkward and challenged, you attempt to put on the new bra while taking  your current bra off in quick succession. It would have worked if the one you were trying on actually fit you. You had a hard time getting it on, and once you did, your breasts spill out of the top half, giving you the illusion of having four boobs. With you panting from the endeavor, you and Larissa begin to laugh at how silly it looks. You’re surprised that you’re not mortified, but instead having fun.
With some of your own tension released, you turn away from Larissa and towards the mirror to decide if you like the bra enough to go up a cup size. As you do this, what you don’t see is Larissa’s curious gaze, as if she is wishing she could reach out and touch the pillowy softness of your breasts.
“So, this one is NOT it.” Your playful declaration pulls Larissa from her lustful thoughts. It’s short-lived, though, since you immediately begin to try on more items. This time you choose a deep maroon matching set, and you turn slightly away from Larissa in order to pull up the bottoms over your current underwear. Because of the limited space in the room, your ass accidentally winds up in Larissa’s face. As if it is all in your head, you pretend the enclosed space is not rife with sexual tension.
“That’s gorgeous,” Larissa coos moments later with her hand reaching out. With both hands, she rubs along the intricate lace detail at your hip bones, and it feels as if your skin is set ablaze. You fight the urge for your breath to turn heavy and wanting.
Even if all of the tension is in your head and one-sided, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll need to stop trying things on soon. Well, at least stop trying on bottoms, because you can feel yourself getting wet under Larissa’s stares and encouragement.
“That fits you so very well.” “I love this on you.” “It looks absolutely spectacular.” “You look stunning.”
Not to mention Larissa has taken a hands-on approach to her support. After briefly touching your hips, she began dragging her long fingers along bits of your exposed skin when she was discussing an area. There’s no way she doesn’t notice the goosebumps that arise each time her touch lingers. At least being half naked in the chilly changing room is an excuse for the tight buds of your nipples. 
The juxtaposition between this experience and what your mother would have had in store for you is dizzying. No doubt she would have critiqued your strong shoulders or the cellulite on your thighs. It would have ended in a fight, you just know it. However, everything out of Larissa’s mouth was refreshing and electrifying. Maybe even healing at times?
The final set you had picked out was a delicate mesh thong bodysuit that was almost entirely see-through. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if you should you stop trying things on. Larissa must have noticed, because she uncrossed and crossed her legs a few times before voicing, “Go on, honey.”
Embracing the process sheepishly, you slip into the item and turn away from Larissa to look at yourself. You study the outline of your breasts in the mirror, trying to determine if the subtle texture of the mesh would be noticeable under your dress. Or would the distance between the stage and the seats obscure the texture?
You then see that Larissa seems to be studying them too, except her eyelids are hooded and her pupils are dilated. Almost in slow motion you watch her involuntarily lick her lips. Your heart beats quicker, a flash of heat moves through your body, and you suppress a low moan.
Your eyes meet Larissa’s in the mirror.
You couldn’t say who initiated what next. Only that you were on Larissa’s lap, straddling her, while her hands were on you, roaming over your body and settling on your hips. Your mouths are working in tandem with each other, and you welcome her red lipstick staining your lips and neck. Your hands go to Larissa’s face—one cupping it possessively and the other slinking back to grip the nape of her neck. You want desperately to wreck her perfect hair, turning it into physical evidence of your connection and closeness.
Both you and Larissa can feel the heated energy building between you as you frantically attempt to take off the mesh bodysuit. Before you can, though, Larissa steadies your hands and inquires breathlessly, “Is this okay, darling?” Her eyes search your own, and you can make out desire and worry in her eyes.
You have to take a moment to let what she is asking sink in. This feels like such a natural (if not slightly expedited) progression of your feelings for Larissa. You wonder if there is more underlying her question. You know you two will have to debrief your feelings but right now the hormones raging through your body make it hard to focus too much on the worry or questions around if this should be happening. Instead, your body wiggles on top of hers, begging to continue the friction of your hips against her. You involuntarily whine and nod. “I want this, Larissa.”
Seeing your need and the sureness in your gaze, Larissa regains her composure and utters, “Shh, let me take care of you.”
Larissa rivals your intensity with her own fierce need. Her kisses are passionate yet soft. Her hands are gentle but unyielding in how they explore your body once the mesh bodysuit is off. With her every caress and tender nip over your skin, you feel so wholly wanted, cared for, and desired. A fire underlies Larissa’s behavior, as if each touch begets more longing and thirst for you. At the same time, you couldn’t have anticipated the fervent need you had to be validated and devoured by this woman.
Once she has marked your neck with her lipstick and teeth, Larissa moves downward to take one of your fleshy, beaded nipples in her mouth. Barely audible to you, she breathes out, “Absolutely beautiful” before flicking it with her tongue and causing you to arch your back.
One of Larissa’s hands runs over your thighs, teasing you and drawing circles and zigzags on your delicate skin. You can’t help but whimper in need every single time her fingers get closer to where your thighs meet. After almost resigning to her pace and authority, she trails up to cup your arousal. Your legs twitch with the sudden contact, and you emit a gasp.
“You’re so wet for me.” Pleased, Larissa enunciates every word, drawing the words out and reveling in how at her mercy you are. “It’s intoxicating.”
Unable to withstand not taking action, you press your lips against hers roughly, trying to close any distance between your bodies. Breathless after many kisses, you move to suck on her neck and whisper, “Larissa.”
“Please.”
Only after this plea does Larissa finally dip a finger into you. It doesn’t feel like nearly enough. You would usually appreciate a sexual partner pacing themselves, but the need for her to fill you is overpowering. You wriggle your hips back and forth impatiently and breathlessly request, “More.”
Larissa delighted in your clear hunger for her, fully intending to give you everything you want. She eases in another finger past her second knuckle before adding a third finger once she realizes how slick and open you are for her. You unintentionally bite down on her shoulder, not expecting to get what you want without more begging.
 You couldn’t have imagined how good her fingers feel inside you. And you absolutely had imagined it. You remember pretending your fingers were hers after late nights riding back with her from Jericho. Or the time she gave you her coat on a chilly night and forgot to get it back, so you ended up masterbating to her scent surrounding you. Okay, you’re not super proud of that one, but at the time it felt world-changing the desire you had. Her fingers working inside of you now are of a different caliber. In fact, you never understood the metaphor of sex as worship or religion, but being on top of Larissa with her half-lidded eyes roaming your body changes things. You want to make her feel a sliver of how good you do right now.
Your hands begin to grab at the fabric of her top, desperate to remove her clothing and pleasure her as she is inside of you. Larissa lets out a low, throaty chuckle before asserting, “Ah, ah, ah. I want to focus on you, love. Let me please you.”
Her interjection just makes your heart swell more for her, and noticeably your noise level swells, as well. You’re not used to undivided attention and care—someone wanting your happiness above all else. It’s more erotic than you could have ever anticipated. At the increase in breathiness and moans, one of Larissa’s hands clamps over your mouth while the other continues to pump in and out of you. Out of the corner of your eye you can see the reflection in the dressing room mirror of you riding her long fingers completely nude while she is fully clothed. The sight makes your knees weaker, and you groan, “Oh, fuck.”
Larissa’s whispers and affirmations throughout only brought you closer and closer to release. She has to know how her words are affecting you. Her hot breath over and over in your ear, inching you towards the edge.
“I’ve got you, sweetie.” “I’ll give you anything you want.” “Shh, stay quiet for me.” “That’s a good girl.”
You feel yourself tighten around Larissa’s fingers, becoming more breathless and spacey as she presses the pads of her curled fingers inside you toward your pelvic bone, urging you to come undone. So, you do. Your entire body tenses, and you feel as if you will crumble under the anticipation and pressure. Tingles shoot down your arms and legs in waves, threatening overstimulation.
Larissa’s fingers still, and she presses you close to her, clutching you tightly. After a moment of your eyes being closed and your breathing slowly relaxing, Larissa asks you to bear down with your pelvic floor muscles. Confused, you obey. She gingerly removes her fingers from inside you, and your body aches at the loss. She proceeds to lean forward with you still on her lap, wrapping her arms around you and begins to rock you.
“You did so well, my love,” Larissa murmurs while stroking your hair away from your damp forehead. “You were so good for me.”
You can’t remember the last time someone was so attentive and sweet with you after sex—if ever. You also have never felt like an exposed live wire due to euphoria either, so… Her thoughtfulness makes your heart swell, and you’re hoping it’s not just due to the hormones flooding your body right now. As if you can’t contain the disbelief and gratefulness, you blurt in awe, “How are you real?”
Larissa pulls away from the embrace, searching your eyes for understanding. “I ask myself the same question about you.” At that, you rest your forehead against Larissa’s, exhausted and happy.
After sensing your heart rate has stabilized, wanting to make sure you go to the bathroom and hydrate becomes Larissa’s next priority. Her voice breaks the comfortable silence. “Let’s get you some food now. I’m sure you’ve worked up an appetite.”
You two pick up the items in the messy dressing room and sheepishly leave the clothes on the courtesy rack outside. A grin blooms over your features as you think about how being stood up by your mom feels like such a nonissue now. Even the dilemma of what underwear to wear for your upcoming performance seems trivial. Walking out of the store with Larissa’s lipstick all over you, you decide that you won’t wear anything under your dress, especially not if Larissa is in the audience.
@sapphicbeloved Remember when you sent this request literal months ago????? Oops. Apologies, and please enjoy!
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getvalentined · 3 days
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I need to talk about the ending of Rebirth, because I'm apparently the only person in the world who liked it.
Putting everything behind a cut, and I would request that anyone who reblog this with spoiler commentary do the same as a courtesy to people who haven't beaten the game yet. It's been just shy of a month since it dropped, so we're still well within the statute of limitations on spoilers. Be nice.
A lot of people are really, really upset about the ending. It's been really weird to have people who went on and on about how they'd be livid if Aerith survived now being furious that she didn't, but I guess it just proves that not only can you not please everyone, but some people are incapable of being pleased.
I've warned everyone I know that Rebirth is the middle part of a trilogy; it was going to end on a low note regardless. That's how trilogies work, the 'ending' of a trilogy's second part isn't an ending at all, it establishes the launching point for the conflict of the conclusion. As a result, second parts will generally strive to be satisfactory with the understanding that it will basically never be satisfying. I'm not going to go into that any more deeply because it's not the key takeaway here, but it's super important to keep that in mind when addressing the ending of any second part, not just Rebirth.
The fact of the matter is, Aerith was never going to survive. That was never on the table, because it was never anyone's decision but hers.
In the OG, Aerith allows herself to be killed so that she can petition Gaia for aid directly, so that she can commune with the planet in-person in order to make sure Holy is activated in time to save everyone. She chose that. She didn't want to die, but she did want to save everyone, and she understood that the only way to do that was by sacrificing herself. Changing that would have been a huge insult to her character, a complete teardown of everything she's been since we met her all the way back in 1997, and it was never going to happen.
In Rebirth, Aerith is capable of dragging Cloud's consciousness into a pocket dimension she's made out of the last days of a terminated timeline in order to both hide him from Sephiroth while he recovers, and to get a working copy of the White Materia that she can use to save the world in the timeline that Sephiroth has chosen to 'save.' She has her own army of Whispers that can and have changed things, that can and have saved people from incidents that should undeniably have killed them. Incidents that did kill them.
If Aerith had wanted to survive in Rebirth, she would have. Sephiroth couldn't have stopped her. We see that in the game, because she literally fights him at the end alongside Cloud, even though she's already dead. Cloud saved her, and then he didn't—and then he did, and then he didn't, he did, he didn't, back and forth and back and forth and we don't know who decided where it stopped.
Sephiroth wanted Aerith out of the way, certainly, but in the end he left of his own accord. He's also the one trying to change the timeline from what it was originally, he doesn't want things to go the way they did in the OG; it's entirely possible that it was Aerith herself who dragged the timeline sideways into the one where she died, because he's wrong and she knows that's the only way to stop him. (I don't necessarily think this is the case, but it's not even close to set in stone.)
I see a lot of people saying that it doesn't matter, nothing mattered, nothing anyone did made a difference because she's still dead. That the only difference that could ever have mattered enough to make it worth it would have been for her to survive—even though it was and has always been Aerith's decision whether or not that came to pass—and I literally can't disagree hard enough.
I think we—and by 'we' I mean the players as much as Cloud and the rest, this is important—changed things in the only way that they could have been changed without condemning the planet to Sephiroth's desperately lonely form of salvation.
When Aerith died in the OG, it happened so suddenly that there was nothing we could do. There was no closure, we never knew if she understood how loved she was, that we would have traded places with her if we could, that nobody wanted her to have to do this alone. We could never really know if she understood how sorry we were to have failed. We didn't get to say goodbye.
Over a quarter century later, we got that. After all this time, decades of knowing that there was nothing we could do to save her but wishing that we at least could have seen her off, Rebirth gave us exactly that.
Aerith wakes up. She's dead because she has to be, but she wakes up. She gets to see how much she's missed, she gets to say goodbye, and we get to say goodbye back. We finally have the chance to not have her taken from us, but to let her go, and to see that it's her decision to stop while everyone else keeps going. It always has been.
Aerith was never going to survive. That was never going to change, because it's not about her—it's about saving the world, and it's about you.
But things are still so different this time, because we finally got to say goodbye, and I can't think of difference we could actually make that could ever be worth any more than that.
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tragedyxremedy · 3 months
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One of my biggest questions for Viv is why she even bothered making Alastor an asexual character, him of all the characters. Obviously, the sexualities of the characters is not the pivot of the plot and good asexuality representation is still a little funky so I’m not expecting a whole lot of scenes where it’ll be showcased properly, but then at the very least I hope we can get a glimpse into Alastor’s backstory outside of hell that’ll help me understand this aspect of his character because otherwise it just seems to be a little bit of a bizarre choice. I rlly don’t care for him as a character, he’s always seemed a little too overpowered as a mere overlord in the grand scheme of hell, his design hurts my eyes and it seriously doesn’t help at all that he eats people, but I just want to see if Viv actually thought this through rather than slapping it on him like an afterthought
Perhaps younger me could see the humorous irony in a character made to have the appeal and eccentricity of a tumblr sexyman actually being asexual, but now that I’m older all I’m wondering if this was the only reason and nothing else. To lure the fandom in with this (apparently) attractive character only to spill the beans that he’s asexual for shits and giggles, all the while thirsty people were already in the process of making smuts about him. I find it very lame and honestly disappointing
And it’s not even like this news stopped them from simping so damn much because he was still sexualized. It’s so disrespectfully blatant too, so I rlly don’t know how Viv wouldn’t be aware of it
I absolutely despise this idea that you can’t do anything with worthwhile asexual characters or that they’re a bane to the shipping maniacs because the second someone ships them with another character, their sexuality is completely erased and discarded since sex is apparently one of the very few interesting things two characters can do together, especially in a show that loves its over the top sexual humor. However, having an actually well written asexual character in hell society would’ve been a perfect way of showcasing their struggles to stay true to who they are while also wanting to adhere to the expectations or practices of the sinners around them, and the solution to this conflict is clear
A character’s sexuality is just as important as all their other attributes, so it should never included in a way that gives the impression that you’re checking off a list, like ‘okay now that we have x type of character in the show this’ll definitely satisfy the audience even though we don’t care enough to give them any development or personality whatsoever except the painful stereotype and tropes, but as long as it gets those ratings up 😙✨’
Its just so fucking upsetting that this the mentality on the topic of inclusion and diversity
Perhaps in a different universe, we would’ve had asexual characters who aren’t cannibal serial killers or antagonists who really had the potential to be great but were rendered into cartoonish laughing stocks, but at this point imma just take what I can get albeit very begrudgingly (from Alastor, not Striker—Viv has already assassinated any interest I had in him with Western Energy)
Even though right now there’s very, very little relatability with a character like Alastor, just like with everything else, imma go into it hoping for the best but expecting the worse
I just know that I personally would never ever tolerate sexualization of my asexual characters, at all. Same with any of my other characters, I’m not gonna let treatment like that fly
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But anyways, I’m on my way to school rn and again I choose to write these at quite possibly the worst time imaginable but it’s whatever
Toodles for now 👋
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lilylollipops · 5 months
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could you write something fem!reader x lily evans where reader and james grow up together and are best friends but reader has a crush on lily and james tells her about his feelings for lily and begins his whole declaring his love for her all around the school and reader has to keep her feelings secret because she doesn’t want to hurt james and doesn’t know if lily likes girls or not?
you can decide whether lily reciprocates readers feelings or not i don’t mind either way, it can be angst and/or fluff 🙂
thanks 🙏🦀
absolutely loved this request! battled insane writer’s block but here it is! thank you for waiting patiently my lovelies! <333
pairings: lily evans x reader, james potter x reader (platonic), marauders x reader (platonic)
warnings: unreciprocated feelings (james and lily), misunderstandings (very brief!!), coming out, purposeful lowercase, she/her pronouns used for reader, no (y/n)
james was my best friend and i’d never have it any other way—not that i’d ever have a choice. our parents were best friends and so we had been too, ever since we were in diapers. so when we got on the hogwarts express together, we promised that we’d stick together no matter what. and we have, along with sirius, remus, and peter. they’re like my second family. 
     so you can imagine how conflicted i felt when lily evans entered the picture. from the second i laid eyes on her, i knew she was gonna ruin me. her red hair that always perfectly framed her face, her piercing green eyes, and her heart stopping smile. lily evans was my dream girl.
     but, apparently, james and i shared not only everything else in our lives, but also our taste in girls because the moment he saw her, he fell in love. we sat at the gryffindor table with our new friends when suddenly james pointed down the table. “look! do you all see her?” 
     sirius, remus, peter, and i craned our heads to get a good look. i smiled, seeing the girl i had run into earlier on the train. she was really nice and had pointed to me to where we’re supposed to change after complimenting my necklace. i did my best not to blush now that i had sighted her again. “i’m gonna marry her one day!” james declared. i did my best to laugh along with the boys as i felt my heart—which had been leaping a moment ago—now breaking. 
     still, james saw right through me. “hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “oh, uh, nothing just a hair in my treacle tart.” i rushed out the first lie i could think of. the boys’ faces fell into disgust as they laughed at my misfortune. as they finally started settling down, i hoped this had been enough to change the subject. my hopes were quickly squashed as james excused himself to talk to the red headed girl. 
     i tried not to focus on their conversation, james being boisterous to try and keep her attention as she curtly introduced herself and began pointedly ignoring his attempts to flirt with her. i was so lost in thought that i had to be steered around by sirius as a prefect led us to the gryffindor common room. “are you alright?” he asked, leaning in close to my ear from behind me so that we wouldn’t disrupt everyone else. i nodded sharply, murmuring back, “just tired, long day.” 
     and with perfect timing, we were shown the way to boys and girls’ dorms. finally, the prefect dismissed us as he went off to join his friends at the chess table. i bade the boys good night, giving james an extra long hug, before making my way up the stairs. i froze when i saw the girl from before standing at the door, examining the names on the plaque. mine was on there. i gulped at the possibility that we’d be sharing a dorm for the next seven years. she spotted me as i inched forward, a friendly grin lighting up her face. “hi, you again! i’m lily and i suppose since you’re standing here, we’re going to be dorm mates!” she introduced herself excitedly.
     i could practically feel my heart melting. i introduced myself in turn, my face flushing as she disregarded my offered hand to pull me into a hug. “sorry, you’re just one of the first friends i’ve made here. i’m really relieved to be sharing a room with someone i know.” lily said, tucking her hair behind her ear. i only smiled in response, so endeared by her that i could hardly breathe. together, we entered our dorm, and i couldn’t have even begun to fathom how troubling the next few years would be for me.
     as the years progressed, i grew closer with both lily and the little group james and i had found, we now called ourselves the marauders. and james was still in love with lily.
     when i would hang out with lily and our other friends, dorcas and marlene, it wasn’t long until james would come strutting over to attempt to woo her. anywhere you could possibly think of—studying in the library, relaxing under the trees on the grounds, laughing together in the common room. lily would roll her eyes, shoot a snide remark his way, and leave.
     one day, it was just lily and i sitting under a willow on the grounds. her head rested in my lap as she read me a book by a muggle author called the picture of dorian gray. i was quite enjoying it and lily was happy to be able to have someone to talk to about her favorite books. i ran my hands carefully through her hair, watching as students milled about.
     i couldn’t help the grimace that passed over my face when i saw the marauders coming our way, james in the lead. lately, it seemed like lily was more amused by him than anything else. she could even be labeled as receptive. as james’ best friend and pseudo wingwoman, giving him advice about things lily enjoyed and telling him not to make an idiot out of himself, i was thrilled at this progress. but as the girl in love with lily evans, perfect for me in all ways except for that she was more than likely straight, i was heartbroken.
     i hadn’t noticed that my fingers stopped their motion until lily was frowning up at me. “everything okay up there?” she asked, moving her hand up to touch mine as she dropped her book open on her chest. “your boyfriend’s on his way.” i mumbled in a sing-song voice. i tried not to feel bitter as she giggled, sitting up and turning her head just as my boys arrived. 
     “hello boys.” i greeted with a grin. peter waved cheerfully, remus shot me a matching smile, and sirius winked at me from where his chin was perched on remus’ shoulder. james ruffled my hair and attempted to do the same to lily, but she swatted his hand away before he could. “hello my dearest lily, flower of my heart and light of life.” james greeted enthusiastically, dropping to his knees in front of her. 
     lily smiled and rolled her eyes, moving to sit crisscrossed and letting herself lean back into my chest. with a surprises blink, i moved my hand to rest on her arm and steady her. “hello james, my single most persistent nuisance.” she said with a teasing tone. my heart clenched in my chest and i tried to ignore the nudge peter gave remus, the looks the three shared as she reciprocated.
     james smiled triumphantly, locking eyes with me as i gave him a subtle, approving nod. they began making small talk about classes, and remus (and sirius, who was apparently keen on staying attached to him) meandered closer to me to ask how the reading was going. we were in the middle of discussing the book when we were interrupted by james clapping his hands together. “so! as i’m sure you know, lily, this weekend is a hogsmeade trip.” james started.
     “here we go.” peter muttered and lily hummed in acknowledgement. “well,” james continued confidently, “we’ve been getting along quite well lately, and i’d really like to get to know you better, so would you like to go to the three broomsticks? with me?” i smiled at him encouragingly, knowing that james really liked lily and really would treat her right. at least if i couldn’t be with her, my best friend would be happy with his dream girl and my dream girl would be happy with someone who loved her as she deserved. 
     i couldn’t see lily’s face, but my eyebrows shot up as she asked in a genuine tone, “like a date?” i watched james’ face light up as he looked around at all of us to make sure we were hearing this too. this was the first time lily had ever considered one of his proposals. james nodded carefully.
     i felt more than heard lily’s sigh. “james, i’m sorry,” she started. we all glanced around at each other. while a rejection was definitely familiar, the genuine sympathy in her voice was foreign. “i can’t go out with you. it’s—god, i really thought you would’ve figured it out by now.” she sounded truly sympathetic and almost regretful. at james’ confused and sad puppy dog face, lily continued.
     “i’m not interested—not just not in you, in any guy. i’m a lesbian.” my heart stopped at her words. i felt her tense against me, clearly worried for the reaction of those around us. james’ face had fallen, but he quickly smiled. he placed a gentle hand on her knee. “hey, that’s perfectly alright. i mean, i am a bit disappointed that you won’t be returning my feelings, but you’re cool. i’d like to keep being your friend, if that’s alright?” he asked. lily nodded quickly. “yes, that’s great. i find i actually quite like you when you aren’t trying to ask me out.” she said. i could hear the smile in her voice. james nodded once again and looked at me pleadingly.
     i patted lily’s arm as james stood up, and she understood that i had to leave. the boys went ahead of me as i quickly kneeled and grasped her hand. “it was really brave of you and trust me, they’re all perfectly accepting. but i have to go, james—“
     “he needs you.” she interrupted softly. i swallowed harshly and nodded. lily stared deeply into my eyes before mumbling, “i wish he could see what he’s had right in front of him this whole time. james would have never been so caught up on me if he had seen how you love him, how lucky he is to have your heart.” she gently tucked a strand of hair blowing in the breeze back behind my ear. 
     my jaw fell open and i laughed incredulously. “me? love him?” lily nodded, seeming confused at my response. “no, lily, it’s not—i’m like you. james has never been anything but a brother to me.” i rushed out. her eyes widened. “oh.” she breathed, eyes flicking down to my lips. i sat down fully again, closer to her than i’d been a moment before. “yeah, ‘oh.’” 
     lily’s fingers crept forward to meet mine, resting in the grass, before they climbed up further—up my arm, brushing my hair, resting on my shoulder. “i’ve wished to hear you say those words since our second year.” she giggled. i laughed in disbelief, and soon our foreheads were pressed together as we were both overcome by a fit of laughter. “well, i—i’ve been waiting since first year, since the train, so i believe that makes me the winner.”
     lily gasped quietly and i grinned as she tried to compose herself. “the winner, hmm? i suppose that means you’ve earned a prize.” i stared down at her lips before forcing myself to look back into her intoxicating eyes. “i wouldn’t be opposed.” i whispered. lily hummed once more, her hand on my shoulder sliding to cradle the back of my neck as she leaned forward to press her lips to mine. 
     though i’d been waiting years for this moment, imagining and dreaming up how it would feel, i could’ve never imagined this. a warmth spread through me as our lips moved together in tandem. lily gently pulled me closer with an arm around my waist, and i angled her face to my liking with a gentle hand on her jaw. my brain felt like it was melting out of my ears as she lightly tugged my hair to get me closer. eventually, she pulled away, giggling breathlessly at my pout. “we do need air, you know.” she chastised lightheartedly. “who says?” i whined in response. 
     then, reality made its unwelcome return. “lily, i need to go to james. i’m sorry, i’ll be back, i promise. it’s just—”
     “he’s your best friend. there’s nothing to apologize for, my love. i’ll be here, alright? no matter what. i’ve waited this long, what’s an hour or two more?” lily squeezed my hand in reassurance. i lunged forward to hug her, relishing in her enthused shriek as we tumbled over. “you may just be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, lily evans.” i declared quietly.
     lily’s face erupted in a harsh blush and before she could reply, i pressed a last gentle kiss to her lips before sprinting off towards the castle.
     dashing through the halls, i was given a wide berth and sympathetic looks; it seemed news of lily’s rejection had spread quickly. i skidded to a stop in front of the fat lady’s portrait, wheezing out the password under her concerned eye. “dear, are you quite sure everything’s alright?”
     “yes, yes, please just let me in.” i begged through my gasping breaths. the portrait swung open and i maintained my quick pace until i was met with the door to the boys’ dorm. i knocked quickly and was almost immediately let in by peter. “thank god you’re here, james has been asking for you.” guilt struck deep in my chest as i tried to smile reassuringly at wormtail, knowing how he gets stressed in highly emotional situations. 
     “oh, don’t sound so relieved, wormy. we’ve got things all under control here!” sirius said, with a playful roll of his eyes. “yeah right.” james said, voice muffled as his head was smushed into his pillow. sirius shrugged from his place next to james on the bed, “alright, we’ve got it mostly under control then.”
     remus sighed fondly, shaking his head and tugging sirius off the bed from behind him. “let the james whisperer work her magic.” i nodded in thanks before crawling up the bed to sit level with james’ shoulders. “talk to me, james.” i pleaded, rubbing his back soothingly. he pulled his face out of the pillow, resting it on my knee instead. “i just wish i would’ve known. i must’ve made her so uncomfortable and i’ve spent all this time on her when i never had a chance. i feel so stupid.” he sniffled, reaching up to wipe away a tear that had slipped. “oh james, you’re not stupid. you’ve just got the biggest heart of anyone i know. she’s not upset with you, okay? i promise. now you can move on, and i know that’s not what you’re thinking about right now, but it’s important to hear. there’s someone out there for you that will relish in your love and love you unconditionally in return. you’re gonna be alright, prongs.” 
     at these words, james’ eyes merely filled with more tears. he pushed himself up and flung his arms around me in a tight hug. i squeezed back just as fiercely, reaching to my fellow marauders to join. we all sat there together for a long while before we all disentangled from each other and lounged on the bed in a comfortable silence. remus tapped my head and i turned to look at him as he gestured to james. i stared in confusion. “tell him about lily. about how you feel for her.” he whispered to me. my eyes widened in shock. “how did you figure it out?” i hissed. 
     “you look at her the same way he does. the way i look at sirius.” he said with a gentle smile. i took a deep breath, remus squeezing my shoulder supportively, before i poked james for his attention. 
     “i have to tell you something. and i’m scared, but i think you deserve to know. all of you do.” at this, the rest of the marauders perked up and looked at me. “i, um… well, i like girls too.” there was a brief silence as i looked at my best friends, awaiting their reactions.
     remus was the first to break the moment. “thank you for telling us, darling. i’m very proud of you.” he said clearly, reaching from behind to hug me around my shoulders. i sunk back into his embrace, squeezing his arms gratefully in return. sirius leapt up next, completely engulfing me and remus into a tight hug. “it all makes sense now! birds of a feather flock together, eh?” he cheered, ruffling my hair. i laughed, pushing him off.
     peter merely shrugged. “i thought we all knew that already, but thank you for telling us.” my jaw dropped as i laughed in shock. he smiled sheepishly, grabbing my hand. my eyes landed on james, who was staring at me with a look i couldn’t discern. “james? is that… is that alright?” i mumbled nervously, playing with the hem of my jumper. “alright? oh, love, of course it is. come here.” he quickly replied, scooting closer to tug me into his arms. we began to rock gently back and forth.
     “i was so scared, jamie.” i whispered into his shoulder as my eyes welled with tears. “it’s alright, it’s all okay now. you’re wonderful. don’t ever forget that. nothing to be scared of.” he cooed, going into mother mode. “i was scared because i loved lily too.” i rushed out, squeezing my eyes shut in fear of his response.
     the rocking stopped. james didn’t seem to breathe for a moment. then, he pulled me somehow closer, his hand coming to hold the back of my head. “i’m so sorry. i’m so, so sorry.” he cried into my hair. “no, you’ve got nothing to apologize for, why are you sorry james?”
     “you never did anything because of me. you didn’t have to give her up, love, i’m sorry.” i merely shook my head in response. i held no ill will towards james for my own decisions. he was my brother, and i’d give anything up to make him happy, even without him asking. suddenly, james lurched back, holding me at arms’ length. “you have to go to her now! she has to know how you feel!” i stared in confusion.
     “come on, up!” james cried, pulling me to feet. “what are you on about?” i asked as sirius sprang up to pull me to the door. “you’ve got my blessing, now go tell lily how you feel!” james urged. 
     “are you sure? you love her—”
     james interrupted me with a gentle hand over my mouth, “and i never had a chance. you might. she loves your company, i’ve never seen her look unhappy around you. and you love her too. you’ve given up all these years for my sake, now go be happy.” i grinned and swept james into a tight hug.
     “thank you.” i whispered.
     “thank me later.” james winked before shoving me out the door and following behind. i practically flew down the stairs, with the marauders all parading behind me and cheering me on. as i stepped into the common room, so did lily, entering through the portrait. she mumbled my name in something like wonder as i continued forward, stopping only when i was right in front of her and grasping her hands. 
     “hi.” we both said, and laughed at our synchronicity. i dropped one of her hands to cup her cheek with it. “hi.” i repeated. she laughed, winding an arm around my waist. “shut up.” she mumbled with a grin, before surging forward to once more press her lips to mine.
     with the girl of my dreams holding me close and locking her lips to mine and the cheering of my closest friends in my ears, i figured things couldn’t get much more perfect than this.
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utilitycaster · 8 months
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The wildest part about people being mad on Imogen's behalf is Imogen herself understood Keyleth's position in spite of her own wishful thinking, helps acquire the blue flowers for her, was the first to acknowledge the Changebringer's help, and the first to say "I'm sorry" to Orym losing more of his people. I'm really baffled to read these "Orym is manipulative" takes and that it was dangerous of Keyleth to validate his anger. Do you think it goes back to the god stuff, or is it just Imodna?
I think a little of column A, little of column B, little of several other things. Since I've been on the "hey could we consider that Imogen and Laudna are adult women who are responsible for their own actions" train for over a year, the specific "Imogen can be mean-spirited as well as unintentionally insensitive" train since at least this past February, and the "Orym is correct and Bor'Dor signed his own death warrant by casting Vitriolic Sphere at a group of people who were not violent towards him" train for a month, let's break it down.
There are a small handful of people in the fandom who just really hate Liam. Per a very salty rant I put into my drafts shortly after 3x63 to describe this type of person, it is a small, scattered, bizarre group of people who for no apparent reason have decided to be foaming-at-the-mouth levels of furious because, as far as I can tell, a nerdy Gen X-er dad who went to Tisch is kind of corny sometimes. Anyway nothing he does will ever sit well with them so we can ignore them forever. Moving on.
Some is Imodna; I thought the whole issue of Imogen and Laudna as agency-less infants against a cruel world would have been ameliorated by them entering a canon relationship (one currently compatible with the 2013 Pinterest board vibes of fanon no less) but it appears to have not been the case. For more on this, see this still relevant post and, while I personally haven't ever written something up, there's just, again, a complete black hole of empathy from a segment of the fandom when it comes to any of the other characters; my post from this morning about Imogen as compared to Caleb touches upon it. You know the Far Side cartoon where a guy is talking to his dog and the dog only recognizes a small handful of words? I feel this is similar, like, they see that Imogen wanted one thing and Orym and Keyleth wanted another thing that wasn't even, as you point out, terribly incompatible, and then the "well if not thing Imogen wants and not 100% deferential to her then BAD BAD BAD" attitude kicked in.
But I do think, in the end, a lot of it does come back to if not the gods exactly, the idea that the Vanguard is, unmistakably, the enemy. They are not the revolution here to usher in a new era of rule by the people. Keyleth is not here to raze Vasselheim to the ground but to have a diplomatic discussion; neither is she here to grant any leniency to the woman who attacked Vax regardless of her connection to Imogen. And she finds the idea of a world without the gods, regardless of her own personal feelings, to be one to be avoided. [sidebar: I hope we get Matt on 4SD; I am wondering, after the one-two-three punch of Hevestro, the Raven Queen, and Keyleth all placing a heavy thumb on the scale opposing the Vanguard if he did not expect the party to be as conflicted about the role of the gods and is trying to wind up an argument that I think as of last episode reached the end of its useful life.] When you couple that with Orym's positive attitude towards the gods, that explains the animosity towards him.
The undermining of Orym's position over the past few episodes has always been one of emotion. First he was not objective - as if anyone else was objective! As if any moral decision is ever 100% objective! We all have biases! What kind of early 2000s atheist forum shit are you on to claim perfect rationality that conveniently matches the ideas that apparently came to you in a godless vision? It's insane. Then it was his grief; grief makes you irrational (unless you're Imogen grieving Laudna, in which case you are objectively right at all times, even as you shout down every other suggestion, beseech Laudna's first murderer, not a month later consider the potential validity of the her second, and try to to undo her immutable past) and remember, moral decisions must be made by the rational. Then it was his impatience (nevermind that Imogen has absolutely no patience). And now it's his anger, and he's apparently been manipulating the party the whole time by...having suggestions for the group which he mentions, and openly stating what he was feeling and what he wanted, and not intuiting that Laudna reawoke Delilah with his approximately no magical ability and then encouraging her to finish a job she had started herself. Because god Rational Objective Conceptual Being forbid women do anything; it is the role of the man to protect their fragile souls from all consequences.
Even more generally I think a lot of people- not just in this fandom, though certainly within this fandom - are terrified of anger. Like, they think they like it - they say they love barbarians (though rage is its own beast and I think very different from the anger Orym and Keyleth exhibit) but most of the discussion of them tends to veer more into angst, and most players of barbarians are often exploring emotions like grief, self-pity (as Ashton says), or frustration just as much if not more so than anger. I think a lot of people perceive anger as this awful thing inside them to be controlled and denied, or alternately to only be let out for whatever they think is a sufficiently righteous cause, and instead sit in an increasingly toxic stew of simmering resentment and conflict avoidance until they begin to think this is not just normal but aspirational - anything but that awful beast they call anger. It's not new in discussions of Keyleth, and it's not limited to her and Orym; I can point to nearly every single character who has had even the slightest of outbursts - even something as mild and controlled as Orym's whispered profanity or less - and I promise you there's been pearl-clutching for every single one of them.
Anyway, you make great points! One of the things that struck me about this episode and prompted my frustration and my post earlier today is that Imogen has changed. I think she's been mulling over Liliana since her appeals to her during the Key's activation were unsuccessful; she hesitantly told Chetney when he asked in Uthodurn that yes, if Liliana's death is necessary, she understands; and I think seeing the utter devastation and pain that was inflicted on Keyleth brought it into focus. She was much more open to FCG and the coin as well. And, you know, if one had embraced Imogen's moral ambiguity in the leadup to the solstice, and the possibility that she could betray the party, instead of shouting that down? Then one could see this as a beautiful moment of growth for Imogen. One could, in fact, if one was so inclined, attribute it to her new sense of ease thanks to her circlet, or even to her nascent romantic relationship. If one, of course, had wholeheartedly embraced Imogen's past moral ambiguity and the possibility of her betrayal.
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onyxisnotuniqueenough · 11 months
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i don't exactly know how to deal with this - I'm not a big enough person on tumblr to have ever been confronted to this type of comment :
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but it still surprised me to see this when my experience on here has honestly been overwhelmingly positive and I've never really talked or met someone who'd comment something like that on here.
i don't honestly think it's wrong to put this person on "blast" (even though, let's be honest, me posting about it is less of a blast and more of a nice summer night breeze.) since they have commented this publicly for everyone to see - so i see no issue in answering in a just as public of a way.
anyway just wanted to say that I think it's kind of sad that you value fictional characters and people in general based on their physical appearance, and that you seem to forget there is an actor aka a real person behind that role.
and oops - guess what - whatever you think of the appearance of any fucking actor - that's not the part of their job that fucking matters!!
Now, let's try to see walk a few centimeters in your shoes. In your eyes, Foggy is ugly as fuck. So that means he can't get the girl, right? Is that how the story goes? Whatever his personality, his humor or his charm - everybody always only looks at physical appearance and there is not ONE person on this earth who cares, or should care, about what's really underneath.
now apparently, Hallelujah, Karen is attractive in your eyes so she deserves love. Ugh, but that is SO RUINED by the fact that she's ANNOYING AS HELL.....EW.....
There's 2 ways for me to take that Karen is annoying comment.
1 - it's the Skyler White Syndrome and any woman who worries, cares, makes mistakes or has any kind of character flaw is just a nagging annoying woman who's ruining your badass man show. like "guys? what the fuck? there's someone else than a muscular superhero dude or the very evil/murderous/manipulative/actually annoying guy that i somehow forgive on my fucking screen!!! hide that shit or else my masculinity will dissappear!!!!!!!!!"
Now since I don't know your gender or your background - this could be either internalized misogyny or plain old sexism at play. Couldn't care less. Either way it's stupid to think that a female character is either perfect or horrible, a mary sue or a bitch. and that you'll complain either way.
2. I give you the benefit of the doubt. You finding Karen annoying has nothing to do with your gender or what you think of women in media and entertainment and more with the fact that you honestly do find her annoying. What exactly has she done to be described as annoying? Is her dialogue bad? Is her story taking away from Matt's? Are her decisions stupid or irrational and you just can't take it when a character makes actual mistakes?
What exactly are you criticizing her for? Because since I've written my post about romantic relationships i'm willing to bet that your "Karen is annoying" thing is said in a romantic context and that it's just the way she speaks or her personality that you dislike, and this has nothing to do with what actually makes her character interesting or how her backstory has shaped her actions and behavior.
Now I get that we all have our favorite characters - and we have characters we don't like to see on screen. But I wouldn't say that Foggy "being ugly" and Karen "being annoying" qualify as legitimate reasons for you to think they don't deserve to have romantic relationships or that they. "TERRORIZE" MATT??
What kind of show have you been watching? Did you get a bootleg iron man dvd and get confused? where are you getting this from?
Are you saying that you take any conflict that Matt can have with his friends is terrorism? That they're ruining his life? That every time they say they're worried, everytime they tell him not to be Daredevil, because of their own love for their FRIEND, that's terrorism???
Matt cares about them just as much as they care about him, and I'd hardly qualify their overprotectiveness, or honestly, with Matt putting himself on the brink of death all the time, just protectiveness, as TERRORISM.
These "two bums" deserve to be on the show because they're an essential part of Matt's character development and Matt's life in general. He needs loved ones to protect, loved ones to worry about him, loved ones to encourage him, loved ones to call him out from time to time, loved ones that have been through it with him and have stuck with him for a long time.
And the two actors that play them deserve just as much of a chance to get to bring something new to their performance and get to share the screen with long-time friends.
you know.
in the reboot of a show that they were major characters of.
i think i got everything out. hope you're willing to expose yourself to a different opinion and that you read this whole post @nyxxhecate
also. your blog is pretty empty. you should get on that if you don't want people to think you're some spam account.
the end :)
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doodlegirl1998 · 10 months
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At this point in the manga, Toga has NO sympathy from me.
She fucked up, and now she has to live with the consequences. But apparently that upsets and angers her!
And it's worse with Ochako backing down and wanting to appeal to this psycho after telling her this.
In the beginning she had the potential to be good and a window into how a quirk can negatively affect a person's mental state, but now she's just a yandere waifu for people to fawn over.
Hi @theloganator101👋,
Honestly that is a completely fair view to have on Toga, one that I agree with a lot.
This is the problem with her, Toga's quirk was meant to have driven her insane, yet she's never ever shown any conflict about what she is doing.
Toga is a mass murderer and was one prior to her involvement with the league. Regardless of what the story may say now, she was always a serious and full villain. And was one before Twice's death.
She's never shown regret of "Oh no! I didn't mean to kill them! Oh no what have I done?!" before the madness of her quirk takes over which hurts her character. This makes Toga come off as a fetish - a blood themed Yandere - rather than a redeemable character.
Despite her madness she is shown to be able to exercise restraint (sparing Camie in the Hero License Exam Arc) which makes the reader wonder why she killed all those boys before. It adds doubt to the credibility of her madness.
She's never given a hero mirror, such as in Vlad King, with similar but controlled blood urges. In fact, no other character (even those with blood quirks like Vlad or Stain) have these urges. This lack of exploration hurts her character.
Her sympathetic backstory. Were her parents abusive? Or did they just take bad advice from a quirk doctor? The scenes we see show them scolding her for drinking blood from a dead bird which would freak out any parent. The radio quote wasn't nice from Toga's parents but here's the thing - her house was wrecked when she returned to it. How did her community react to Toga's parents after she became a mass murderer? Well I bet not well. I bet they had to move and were tormented by the community until they did. I bet all that damage done to her abandoned home (such as scratching out her heights) was done by angry civilians rather than her mum and dad. She also doesn't show concern or thought about them (you would think she would even to just confirm if they were abusive or not) but she is given nothing.
The lack of exploration of her backstory. Her old friends? Toga doesn't seem to care or think about them. Her parents? Same. She doesn't seem to miss anyone before her time at the LOV yet Hori never confirms abuse occurred with her parents or if she was bullied (presumably not). Not only that but Hori also makes her largely a blank slate other than her madness (and friendship with Twice) - what is she into other than mass murdering people, blood ... or fashion I guess? This hurts her redeemability since most of what we know about her is the villianous deeds/ horrid things she likes to do. It becomes easy to read her as someone who just wants to murder who she likes and indulge in her quirk driven urges.
She is selfish in her grief. Toga is upset over Twice's death yet never once thinks that her and the LOV are killing many more civilians and heroes (causing them the same pain she is going through right now.) This moment should have been a turning point for her - she should have seen what she and the others were doing after losing Twice and begun to feel regret yet... Nope!
Ocacho is doing all the work in Toga's redemption. At the moment, Toga doesn't want to be saved or want to be redeemed she just wants to "Kill all the heroes!" It feels really strange to see Ochacho rushing after her genuinely wanting to talk about 'love' which Toga isn't interested in while she goes on a warpath.
Am I meant to feel sad she is getting rightfully rejected by her crushes for being an awful human? She is a mass murderer, an unrepentant one who is driven by her quirk coded lust like predator hunting prey. (Seriously, switch Izuku and Toga's genders for a moment and think about the scene where she drags him through the warp to ask him out again. Would anyone be condemming Izumi for rejecting male!Toga or talking about the supposed subtext of male!Toga asking for help? Or would the general response be, rightfully, of course Izumi is going to reject you - creep! There would be no discussions of that supposed subtext either.)
Hori can't seem to decide what he wants from this character. Is she a sexy blood themed Yandere, who is super bad? Or a conflicted mentally ill character who needs help and wants to be redeemed. Hori goes - why not both and makes this mess.
TLDR - Hori had potential with Toga to be a good exploration on how quirks can effect a persons mental state and cause them to lose their minds. Yet he wasted every opportunity to do this. He didn't build up her redemption properly so now we are morbidly watching Ochaco drag Toga to the heroes side, kicking and screaming about how she wants to "kill all heroes."
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ashes-writing · 11 months
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stranger things ● summer of 86 pt 5 ● e.munson
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warnings
idiots in love to the nth degree, lots of internal angst, robin and barb are gay and we're all here for it -you're going to see a lot more from them soon, trust-, affectionate touching / petnames, mentions of alcohol/smoking/w**d, swearing, eventual filth, reader suffers from gifted kid burnout but is.. also a workaholic apparently, mentions of the annoying and oh so judgmental small town mindset, internalized confusion / fear due to sexual pref -being gay in the 80's isn't fun and when I write Barb and Robin in a more romantic way, this will be reflected, marital conflicts ( tommy and carol , other 'couples' mentioned ) and tons of other stuff..
reader/you are a female with female parts. you/reader are the oldest Byers. you/reader have a very specific personality / clothing style and/or nicknames and petnames. this is yet another self indulgent thing and i'm not sorry at all.
word count
1701 exactly. for any context needed part 4 <- is here.
summary
"Hot date, right?" He's only half teasing, trying to fight off a surge of jealousy at the thought. You laugh and shrug. "Job interview count, Eddie?"
"Another one? Jesus H.Christ, woman, do you ever sleep?" he's laughing but he's looking at you in concern.
taglist + shoutouts
-- taglist is here <- click on that to be added to my taglist, (other fandoms incl.) and if you're here for Gareth/Steve/other guys content and you don't want to be tagged in my Eddie things let me know, pls?
@allelitesmut i love you sm, your tags always make my day and it means the world to me that you like reading the stuff I post. <3
@caravelofthesun
@chaoticcancer
@dylanwritesgood
@eddiemunsonspantschain - babe ily sm and I don't know what I'd dI o without knowing you, you're awesome. hope you're having a great day, feel free to ignore.
@eddiemuns0nl0ver
@just-a-blue-nerd
@music4life42
@tbmunson bestie.. babe.. babesss. i love you so much and idk what i'd do if i'd never met you, you are amazing and you always inspire me.
@slyisbehindyou
other links
masterlist ● eddie's masterlist ● about + rules
"Hey guys, give me a second." you stop outside the record store and turn to look back at Barb and Robin. They share a look and burst out laughing. You pout, flip them off and wander into the store. Eddie is rearranging a clearance bin with his headphones in, as you approach him you can hear Metallica playing faintly.
You tap his shoulder and he jumps, whirling around with a glare in doe eyes that seems to soften as soon as he realizes it's you. He chuckles, eyes roaming slowly as he takes in the heels, the stockings, the way your skirt fits just a little too well… all of it. 
"Hot date, right?" He's only half teasing, trying to fight off a surge of jealousy at the thought. You laugh and shrug. "Job interview count, Eddie?"
"Another one? Jesus H.Christ, woman, do you ever sleep?" he's laughing but he's looking at you in concern. You shrug. "It's a legal secretary gig.. for Albright? Here in town?"
Eddie chuckles. "Figured you'd go back to Boston."
"There's nothing there for me. I uh..got homesick." you admit and he'll die before admitting it but he's glad you're not leaving, even if he never acts on the way he feels because he knows it'll never happen.
"According t' my mom this one is gonna pay. Like.. big time. Yeah, Albright got several big cases back to back and she's swamped with paperwork but she has zero time." You give an evil laugh, "means I get to do a lot of organization."
Eddie snorts because he can't help it, the fact that you're giddy about organizing a ton of files which is completely his opposite, should be more than enough further proof that you and him won't ever work.
He pouts a little. "Aw, this mean I won't see you at my gigs?"
"No? Why would I stop coming? Angel really needs the help." You're laughing and stepping closer, Eddie steps closer to you too, a hand just barely grazes your hip and you can feel the way your breath catches over just a simple accidental touch. "Besides," you add, tilting your head slightly to look up at him, " Maybe I enjoy the scenery."
Eddie rubs his chin. A smile that spreads lazily across his lips and draws your gaze down to them. "The scenery, huh?"
"Mhm." you've got a hand against the front of his Hellfire shirt and the scent of him surrounds you, it taunts you and ultimately, before you can stop yourself, you've stepped closer. Much closer.
Robin is laughing and Barb is tapping her wrist. You use your grip on the front of his shirt to pull yourself up closer and you give his hair a little fluff. And you're biting your lip again and he fixated, breath hanging in his throat. You laugh softly as soon as you remember the envelope your little brother Will gave to you to give to him and you find it, pressing it into his hand.
"What's this?"
"All I know is that Will wanted me to give it to you."
"Ooh. It looks fancy."
You laugh softly, hand catching in wild and thick locks, "My little brother doesn't do anything half-assed." and after a few seconds, you pout. "I need to get going. I'll see you tonight?"
Eddie chuckles as he smiles and nods. "You know where I'll be."
As you walk out, Eddie has to lean against a wall and take several deep breaths to pull himself together. And he fans himself, chuckling quietly. "Go get 'em, sweetheart."
Nearby, Gareth Emerson bursts into laughter. "Holy shit.. is this Eddie Munson speechless for once?"
Eddie flips him off as his cheeks darken. "Shut up, Emerson."
"Not gonna happen. I still say you're wrong this time and she wants you. The tension just now, dude" he fans himself and laughs again, "enough to smother anyone else present."
"Look.. I'm not saying I don't want her. I am saying she's 'grown', Emerson. She's got her shit together. In what world is a girl like that ever gonna settle or be happy with a guy like me, huh?"
"Ya never know, Munson."
– 
The heels are killing your feet. You're excited because you just landed the job and while it isn't being a lawyer, it is still adjacent to the field you chose so long ago. 
You're still on the high from it when you happen to catch sight of Eddie's new motorcycle parked outside of the laundromat across the street. Your mom realizes you haven't heard a thing she's asked so she follows your gaze and smiles to herself as soon as she picks up on the way your eyes linger and roam over the tall boy.
"Airhead!"
"___, are you okay?"
You zone back in right around the time your brother Jonathan throws a piece of French fry at your nose. And naturally, he's teasing you, he's quick to tell your mom that things between you and Eddie are "intense", to quote him directly.
"Are not!"
"I dunno, it looks pretty intense to me." your mom is teasing you and you pout. "I like him. He seems sweet, I mean from what I've seen when I see him around town."
You laugh softly and nod, agreeing. "He's different than the other jerks."
"She admitted it!" Will and Jane laugh when they say it the whole time.
Once they're gone to the arcade to meet their friends and Jonathan's left to meet Nance, this leaves you alone with your mom.
"Hey mom?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Like.. do you think it's possible to look at a person and just know theyre.. nevermind. This is crazy. Insane."
"No, tell me. I'm your mom. You can talk to me about anything."
"Do you think it's possible that you can look at a person and you know you're going to love them?"
"Yeah. I did.. with Hopper. And I almost let my own fear mess it up, more than once.. don't make my mistake, sweetie."
"I'm scared."
"Yeah, I know that feeling. Just go with it..whatever it is you're feeling, I mean."
You nod. Laugh softly. "Easier said than done."
Your mom laughs and nods. "I know what you mean."
There are even more people at the show tonight and Eddie is thrilled. He's also nervous as hell. 
You make your way into the bar and as you're hopping over to hurry and start mixing drinks, you lock eyes. You give him a thumbs up and he gives you that lopsided charmers grin. 
"I see what you mean, Gareth. Dude goes silent when she's around." Jeff chuckles as he says it and Eddie grumbles, flipping his friend the bird. "Fucking do not!"
"You do!"
"Do not!"
As the band begins to warm up, you smile to yourself. "Amazing as always, handsome." you mumble to yourself as you wipe down the bar.
And unbeknownst to you, Wayne happens to be sitting a few seats away. Close enough that he's heard you. He chuckles to himself. 
Both of you are so clueless it's not funny.
The show has just ended. Eddie is loading his setup into the back of Jeff's dad's truck when Wayne surprises him by wandering out into the back. 
"Hell of a show tonight, kid."
Eddie laughs. "You saw it?"
Wayne shrugs. "Sometimes I come to watch." and he drags a hand over his head, smirks at his nephew, "I wasn't the only one watching."
"Oh you weren't, huh?"
Wayne catches sight of you walking out with some of the other girls, you're sandwiched between the two girls laughing and talking. Wayne catches sight of the way Eddie is staring and he speaks up. "She was watching too, kid."
"Yeah, she kinda had to. She tends bar,man."
"She clocked out at 10, kid. Angel only needs her from 7 t' 9."
Eddie gapes. Then he laughs. "She probably stayed to talk to the other girls."
Wayne shrugs. "I dunno about that kid."
"Trust me. That's all it is, it has t'be."
You've spotted Eddie in the alley out back of the bar. You tell Tanya and Sheila goodbye and you turn back, slipping up behind him. "Boo." You're laughing as he turns around, a mocked 'scared' look on his face as you shrug. 
"Always trying to scare me, woman." Eddie shakes his head. You laugh softly. Step up into him and toy with the front of his denim vest as you stare up at him. His eyes catch on the purple streak of hair and before he can stop himself, he's reached out for it, passing it through his fingers as he chuckles quietly. "Whens that..uh, the secretary gig start?"
"Tomorrow. I'm kinda torn between nervous and excited."
And he doesn't say it but he's excited too. Because until today, he'd been assuming you were only back for the summer. That when fall came around, you'd be leaving for Boston again. Now that he knows you're not, if he were more optimistic, he'd make a move.
He's tempted to go for it, the only thing that stops him is you're not the kind of girl who is just gonna settle for him, you've got all this stuff ahead of you and he knows this and refuses to get in the way of it.
He's excited also because he can look at you and tell that this job is something you really want.
And he's happy for you. Proud of you because you seem fearless and nothing seems to stop you from going after what you want. If he didn't love that about you it might actually make him a little jealous.
"Don't overdo it, alright? Even Supergirl needs rest, doll."
"I'll keep that in mind, Eddie. I'll see you later. I need to get home. You were amazing up there tonight, as always." you give his hair one last little fluff until the next time you see him and reluctantly, you step away, walking over to your moms car.
Your mom is right.. and it's getting to a point where you can't fight the direction you're being pulled. The problem is…what should your next move be?
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heymanatee · 1 year
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Plot Thoughts - Venn Diagram!AU
(Jealousy> Conflict)
Curt finds himself struggling with just how well Peter and Eddie have been getting along. Don't get him wrong-- he's *glad* that they get along so well, that they seem closer than ever, and that, under Peter's influence, Eddie seems to have finally started to truly relax some of his mental/emotional barriers when it comes to sex... but...
Well, maybe it's just his imagination. Maybe he's making too much out of nothing. But "nothing" is exactly the problem: now that Eddie and Peter have started being intimate, Eddie seems to want nothing to do with *him*.
Oh, he still acknowledges him, of course. They talk, share the news of their day, share meals, but... getting anything more than a brief kiss, perhaps a chaste nuzzle if he was lucky, was virtually impossible. Eddie *claims* it was because he doesn't want Peter walking in on them, but given how much Eddie was enjoying *Peter's* company, Curt finds the supposed "shyness" to be little more than an excuse to avoid him.
And he tells himself that it's fine. Curt has always known that, no matter what he did for the other man, Eddie would always carry the scars from growing up as he did, as they both did, when there were only two accepted sexualities: straight or dead. Even now, even with how he was starting to relax, Eddie still struggles to open himself up to love; he might always struggle, and that was just something they all have to accept.
But Curt couldn't help wondering: was it love that Eddie was struggling with? Or was it the idea of loving *him*?
And, perhaps even worse, Peter seems to be following suit lately, more interested in Eddie's attention than his. Not that Peter ever goes as far as making excuses to shy away from him, but, unless he's hurting-- physically, emotionally --he seems to be gravitating more and more towards Eddie. Curt tells himself that it's just the novelty of new: "New" was always exciting, such a rush and a thrill! But surely that novelty would wear off soon, wouldn't it?
Shouldn't it?
It eats at him, but Curt isn't jealous. In fact, he actively refuses to be jealous. They're happy, so why wouldn't he be happy for them? That's what really counts, right? Their happiness? He was there for them, he had promised to *always* be there for them: seeing them happy should make him happy too. So what if it also makes him feel alone? He's not lonely, he has Val-- he would never be truly alone, not with her, not when she so desperately needs him. And he certainly isn't afraid of what changes might be looming in their nebulous future... after all, even if they might forget from time to time, they *need* him too, maybe just as much as his symbiote.
One morning, Curt is relieved to see the younger man stumble his way into the lab, pushing the door open with his back and backing his way through the door, arms heavily occupied with a loaded box of supplies.
(Peter's strength could totally handle the entire box with one arm, but he can't let anyone else know that)
"There you are. Long patrol last night?" Curt asks quietly, using the excuse of helping Peter unbox the supplies as a cover for their conversation. At Peter's questioning look and casual shrug, Curt continues: "You were going to come over for dinner... ?"
"That was last night? I'm so sorry, I forgot!" Peter quickly apologizes, looking stricken at the reminder. "I was patrolling with Venom and it started raining, so we waited out the storm at Eddie's place."
And Curt sort of freezes, because the one thing Eddie had *always* insisted was that they didn't tell Peter where Eddie lives, that he didn't want any "surprise guests", not wanting Peter to pop in unannounced the way he does at Curt's... but Eddie had *invited* Peter over?
"...how kind of him..." Curt finally manages, keeping his voice even as he mentally fits his mask in place to cover up the unnerved feelings.
"Yeah, it was raining pretty hard," Peter nods as he continues, apparently not noticing Curt's hesitation. "We had some sandwiches while we were waiting and, by the time it stopped raining, we were good to go for another patrol. Aw, but, I'm so sorry, Doc! I should have at least sent you a text or something... "
"Not at all," Curt murmurs. Eddie, who supposedly values his privacy over everything else, had invited Peter over? His stomach sinks. "You were busy. It happens. Besides, there's plenty of food for tonight."
It takes so much self-control not to be vindictive, to twist the verbal knife in deeper by saying "leftovers" instead of "food", but the guilty look on Peter's face soothes away the urge: it wasn't as if the younger man hadn't been forgetful in the past... distracted...
But the weather hadn't been *that* bad the night before. No thunder, certainly no lightning. Perhaps the winds had been stronger than they seemed, driving the rain harder in the heart of the city than it had in the suburbs where Curt lived. Was that really enough to justify Eddie breaking his own rules, rules he had insisted on in the first place? Or was there something more to it?
Curt's heart twists when he realizes he doesn't know.
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tragicallywicked · 9 months
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shadows of deception
by tragicallywicked
Summary:
In the unforgiving world of espionage, Lorraine Broughton finds herself entangled in a web of emotional conflict. As a dedicated MI6 agent, she grapples with the demands of her duty, striving to maintain her cover and fulfill her mission in Cold War Berlin. Yet, her heart yearns for the warmth she has found in the arms of Delphine Lasalle, a French operative. In the delicate balance between loyalty and desire, Lorraine is torn between protecting Delphine and safeguarding the secrets that could jeopardize their relationship.
Notes:
Here's a drabble of them, because apparently they can't ever leave my brain. Hope you enjoy!
The Berlin nights were cold, and the city itself seemed to hold secrets in every shadow. Lorraine Broughton, an MI6 agent, navigated the streets with a practiced grace, her eyes scanning for any sign of danger. She knew the risks when she had a mission to complete, but tonight had nothing to do with the mission.
Amongst the tension and relentless intrigue that defined their lives, Lorraine Broughton sought solace in the tender embrace of Delphine Lasalle, a French operative whose very presence radiated a warmth that could melt the frostiest of hearts (Lorraine's included). In the shelter of their connection, a profound sense of solace took root, as if their souls had found a refuge from the storm. It was a flame that burned with an intensity that defied the frigid surroundings, a magnetic force drawing them closer with each passing moment.
Lorraine never found herself to be an addict of anything. She enjoyed her Stoli on ice quite regularly, but her line work asked for something strong to numb the pain (both mental and physical). But she had no other vices. Yet, Delphine was proving to defy that understanding Lorraine had about herself. Four nights in a row on a mission was against any and all rules Lorraine (or any special agent) had about involvements during missions—even when they were purely about the mission (which wasn't the case in point anymore). 
To make matters worst, tonight was the fifth night.
She couldn't resist when Delphine telephoned her at the hotel. They arranged to meet a club nearby, loud and crowded like the first time, where they sipped on vodka and leaned on each other's ears to be heard. Lorraine's lips always teasing Delphine's earlobe, and Delphine's breath taunting the hairs on Lorraine's neck. Their connection crackled with electricity, an intricate dance of passion and vulnerability that wove an enchanting tapestry around them. In Delphine's eyes, Lorraine glimpsed a depth of understanding that transcended words. They spoke a language reserved only for them, a symphony of unspoken desires and unyielding devotion.
Within the haven of their shared moments, Lorraine and Delphine discovered an escape from the harsh reality that enveloped them. Even as they crawled in each other's arms at yet another club bathroom. With Delphine pressing Lorraine against the wall this time, even though it was the blonde's fingers tugged inside the french's clothes to drive her wild. In each other's arms, they sought respite from the treacherous world of espionage, where trust was a scarce commodity and danger lurked at every corner. There, amidst the chaos and uncertainty, they found a sanctuary—an oasis of silent promises and breathy moans that nurtured their broken spirits and replenished their strength.
Dephine wasn't as broken and lived as Lorraine. Broughton had been in this line of business since always whilst Delphine had been fished out from the world into this tumultuous chaos. Lorraine felt for her. She had no time for it, yet she wanted to valiantly protect Delphine's spirits, to guard her joyful soul from the war and danger that surrounded them. It was dangerous to do it, to open herself up to the point she cared. Even if the words of worry were never spoken, it was there in the way Lorraine would look at her after sex, or how she would kiss her just a little bit harder and hold her a little bit stronger when Delphine would utter out something foolish that could definitely get her killed.
In the intimate moments they shared, the walls that shielded them from the outside world crumbled, revealing the raw vulnerability that lay beneath her hardened exteriors. Delphine's whispered confessions about her admiration toward Lorraine (her wit, her strength, her delicious body—Delphine loved it all like the French did most things, passionately), and their stolen kisses bore witness to the depths of their connection, a bond forged amidst the crucible of secrecy and danger.
Within the cocoon of their love, whether that was Lorraine's hotel room or Delphine's flat (wherever suited them best on each day), time seemed to stand still. Their hearts beat in unison, a rhythmic melody that echoed in sync with the desires that swelled within them. The outside world faded into insignificance as their bodies entwined, each touch an affirmation of the flames that burned within their souls.
In the embrace of Delphine's arms, Lorraine found something she hadn't had in so long—an anchor that grounded her amidst the tempest of her mission. The warmth that emanated from Delphine's touch thawed the icy tendrils of fear and uncertainty that gripped her heart. It was a precious respite from the relentless pursuit of truth and the unyielding demands of her profession. Together, Lorraine and Delphine navigated the intricate dance of love and secrecy, cherishing the stolen moments they could claim as their own. In those stolen fragments of time, they found solace, a flickering light that illuminated the darkest corners of their lives.
But duty, like a merciless sentinel, stood in the way of their happiness. Lorraine was torn between Delphine and her commitment to the mission. Her superiors demanded unwavering loyalty, an unyielding devotion to the cause. It gnawed at her, twisting her heart in conflicting directions.
Nights turned into days, and Lorraine found herself wrestling with her emotions. Every stolen moment with Delphine felt like a lifeline, a fragile thread keeping her grounded. Yet, the weight of her mission pressed upon her shoulders, threatening to snap that connection and plunge her into darkness. As the mission grew more perilous, doubts began to seep into Lorraine's mind. Whispers of betrayal echoed through the corridors of her thoughts. She couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that someone close to her had ulterior motives, a hidden agenda that threatened everything she held dear. Delphine, with her doe-like eyes and gentle touch, became both the source of Lorraine's strength and the root of her turmoil. The connection they shared was a dance on a knife's edge, the delicate balance between trust and deception. Lorraine questioned if she could truly confide in Delphine or if their connection was merely a web of lies.
In a dimly lit room, Lorraine stood face to face with Delphine, their eyes locked in a silent battle of lust and suspicion. The air crackled with tension, the room heavy with unspoken words. Each word they would share held the power to change everything. Driven by a desire to protect not only Delphine but also the mission, Lorraine chose to believe was in fact the character she had studied—fresh and naive in this spy business. In a way, she was letting her emotions mingle with duty, but every time Delphine's fingers intertwined in her hair and their mouths slid together it felt like destinies colliding, like two stars in a cosmic dance, and Lorraine could tell the whole world to just fuck up and explode. She didn't care about nothing else but Delphine's pulse against her lips when she went down on her for the billionth time that week.
When the mission came to an end, Lorraine knew she had done what was necessary, but at a great cost. The bittersweet taste of victory clung to her mouth, mingling with the ache in her heart, but it was Delphine's taste that lingered on her soul—the constant reminder of yet another sacrifice. She had lost something irreplaceable, a connection that could never be mended. In the cold London night, Lorraine walked away, leaving behind the warmth and passion she had found in Delphine's arms. The echoes of their love lingered, an indelible mark on her soul. She knew that even in the shadowy world of spies, where loyalties shifted like sand, their connection would forever remain a flicker of light in her memory.
It was in Montana, when she returned to the states, that Lorraine saw Delphine again. Sitting on a fence by a blue house with white window. Lorraine had grown up there, she recalled that much from her childhood. But how had Delphine tracked down the safehouse in the states? She would have to give Emmett an earful, he was her handler and the only one aware of that asset that was Lorraine's even though it stood under an alias for the sole purpose of not being found. Delphine was too new to have tracked the place down on her own in less than a week. How had she managed to lure the white mare that stood beside her, head petted by the long fingers she had? She was Lorraine's favorite horse and quite the untamable animal (much like Lorraine herself in a sense. How in hell did she look so damn pretty in jeans and boots and the Montana sky? There was no answer to that one.
She asked her none of those questions, instead slipping into the space between her legs and watching her as she lowered to kiss her. (Delphine was never the taller one between them, but switch was throughly appreciated.) There was not a need for answers, the only thing Lorraine craved was Delphine.
When she performed CPR on Delphine back in Berlin, she thought she would be upset at her for not staying. Lorraine had made sure Delphine was alive and breathing, she had kissed her temples and then she had slipped away with the envelope on the counter addressed to herself. She didn't stay and Delphine was a poet, an artistic soul. Lorraine assumed she would not wish to see her any longer. Precisely why she had left Europe without tracking her down. There was no need for further heartbreak. The mission was complete and Delphine was safe. But she was there now and all Lorraine could think of was taking her inside the house and burying her head on the pillow while she laid naked and tangled on clean sheets and Delphine's limbs.
Which was exactly what they did.
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coldgoldlazarus · 10 months
Note
So... I don't agree with Lilith Farren on a lot of things but she's spot on about the RWDE being full of it. I mean, they want to make her out as the real bigot while not once looking at the company they keep. Even if Lilith holds these secret prejudices... she's got the real receipts on them.
I've generally avoided talking about this, but here we go, I guess.
I'm so fucking tired of receipts, and discourse, and debating whether or not RWBY is good, (it's not perfect, neither is it the animated spawn of satan or whatever) or debating whether or not Rooster Teeth is evil, (they are, but they ain't special) or the suspecting everyone and their mother of secretly being a bigot or creep over their opinions on fiction, and just the endless pointless fighting over shit that really doesn't matter at the end of the day.
The world is burning down around us, queer people are under constant fucking attack, racism and antisemitism are having a resurgence, (not that they ever really went away in the first place,) the politics of imperial countries like Britain and America and Russia still have outsized ability to ruin the lives of people all over the rest of the world, and neoliberal capitalism is slowly killing us all with the constant monetization of basic survival. And yet, some people apparently have nothing better to do with their lives than either bitch about a show, or bitch about the people bitching about a show. It's so. Fucking. Asinine.
I will be honest, I do not particularly like or respect Lilith Fairen, any more or less than the 'rwde' people she's constantly picking fights with. I did follow her for a while at the start of 2021, because I was in a different headspace back then and that stuff felt like it mattered more, but honestly? Even when I was following her and considered her 'cool', something didn't sit right with me about the way she talked.
Whenever she was dunking on rwde takes, there was an even mix of really strong points she made, and arguments made purely using in-universe information without considering the OOU reasons for those things, then needlessly hostile assumptions being made about the other party. Sometimes they were retroactively validated, but not always, and either way they were usually completely insane things you would't just assume of someone out of the fucking blue.
It's really only since the big RT controversy that the why has come into focus. Because at the end of the day, with her response to that it's become clear to me that she cares about RWBY and defending everything about it, even the genuinely bad stuff, more than she cares about real people. She talks the social justice talk, but does not walk the walk.
I don't completely agree with the people who have gone the other extreme as a result of the controversy and insist continued engagement with the show makes you just as bad, (because like I said, RT are awful, but they aren't special in this) but I do still get where they're coming from and agree with them on not supporting RT financially in any way anymore. (Whether V10 should or shouldn't be greenlit, I'm still conflicted on, but also that's ultimately out of my hands to decide, so I plan to just roll with whatever does or does not happen there.)
LF's response, from what I saw, (for better or worse, I wanted to see how she was faring after the news broke and still offer some kindness if needed, hoping to see better of her I guess, so I logged out to go check her blog since I was blocked by that point) was to wring her hands a bit about how this would impact the show, then insist rwde were to blame somehow and go right back to her usual behavior.
Do I think she's secretly bigoted or something? Not really. (And the recent claim by someone that she was totes a neo-nazi definitely raised some eyebrows as a result, that's a very serious claim to make.) I don't think she has the capacity to care enough about real-world issues to have those kinds of beliefs, honestly. And on the flipside, I don't think she cares about social justice as much as she claims to; it's all props for her to justify harassing people over a show.
Which brings me to the other big reason I don't particularly care for her, which is her behavior in the magical girl community. I won't belabor the point, since I really don't want to make this some big callout post, (deserved or not, those have already been made about her, and I don't like the concept either way) but between her awful takes on PMMM and fans thereof, and actual harassment campaign against the creators of Sleepless Domain, she's been consistently pretty unpleasant-at-best over here.
I don't disagree with everything she's ever said, and I do agree that a lot of the post-Madoka grimdark Magical Girl trend has been pretty bad on the whole, (though at least some good stuff has come of it, like Symphogear) but her hardline refusal to see anything good in it, along with her sometimes completely insane bad-faith readings of Madoka in particular, is such an ironic echo of the same sort of behavior she claims to hate about rwde. And even then, it would be fine, if annoying, if she didn't then also go and mistreat people over it. It really boils down to the same thing as with RWBY, just in the opposite direction; "I like this show, show is good, people who don't like the show are bad and evil" and "I hate this show, show is bad, people who like the show are bad and evil", and then using social justice language to justify and prop up her arguments.
It was all that stuff, not so much the RWBY discourse, that led to my disillusionment with her, and her eventually blocking me. I guess if one good thing came of it, was spite powering me to work on my own magical girl stuff again, and the resurrection of a friend's dormant story that I proofread for. But on the whole, that period of life where I was really paying attention to what she had to say, just feels now like a waste of time.
I don't hate her, and I don't think she's secretly evil or whatever like that one person suggested, and I definitely don't think she should be harassed, despite her own behavior. I just think she's a kinda mediocre human being who really needs to get her priorities straight, and probably work through some insecurity issues or something. (It's not my place to diagnose, but like, therapy could probably help with whatever she has going on, if she ever becomes receptive enough for it to work.) As much as rwde people can annoy me too, her whole moral crusade against them feels like a waste of time and energy that could better go to other, bigger things, and her moral crusade against dark (or even moderately-toned like Sleepless Domain) Magical Girl stuff, her response to the RT controversy, and how she ignores or speaks for other marginalized people, shows it all to be ultimately hollow and shallow, more about opinions on some shows she likes or hates, than anything meaningful.
In the end, she's just not worth my time.
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hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)
you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control
(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)
im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow
todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)
Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.
And idk if you want it but here's a tea
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rocicrew · 1 year
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draomi drabble set sometime between 6.05 and 6.06
It felt wrong. 
Everything pointed out that it wasn't the right moment. Camina was letting out her grief in her arms. Herself brimming with every conflicting emotion she couldn't run away from. The war was raging outside the door. 
But what hadn’t gone wrong between them? 
A series of wrong moments and conflicting beliefs.
The latter was harder to bridge, but the first was the one thing that could be fixed. If only they could ignore what constitutes wrong.
Naomi’s hand moved from wrapped around her to cupping Drummer’s face. The intimacy of the moment seemed both new and familiar. Naomi supposed that was what the passage of years did. 
Neither of them was the same anymore.
It would be so easy to lean in and kiss her. 
Do what she's wanted since learning Camina came to Ceres. Since she learned what she did for the Roci. Since their time on the Behemoth. Since that first day on Tycho, the first time she ever spent time with her. 
“Don't-”
Camina’s voice shook through her, and her feet became stuck on the floor harder than any magnet could. 
Don't, because she thought this was passing. For now, for what Naomi was asking of her. Because what future do they have? 
The Belt's future seems dim, farther away than it ever had in the past few years.
Theirs even worse.
They could never be together with their differences before. What chance do they have now? While they're stuck in a position neither of them wanted.
She had felt Camina slip away from her ever since she stepped foot on the Tynan. If she were honest, ever since Drummer rejected her call and message. 
Naomi didn't fully understand why then. But she won't let her drift away now.
Marco stands as a shadow over everything she loves. Something she had never been able fully to shake away and was now stronger than ever.
But Naomi won't accept that anymore. She's already lost too much because of him.
“This has nothing to do with what I asked you. Whatever you choose, this is separate. Between you and I.”
Because it was never about what she asked of her. Because she wanted to see Drummer no matter what. Avasarala's request just made things worse. It made her push Drummer when she didn't want to. For the same thing, she had trouble stomaching, this war, and the things she did. Except this seemed like the best chance to end it in a long time.
So Naomi tried to put it aside, to swallow the hurt she felt as well from Drummer's accusation, and focus on their relationship. 
Whatever relationship they could have after everything.
“And Holden?” the bitterness in Drummer's voice was apparent but it managed to pull her out of her thoughts. 
Because this had always seemed like an either-or decision. But it never had been. Naomi could never be a part of the OPA. That was the only decision that was definitive.
“He knows,” Naomi replied, because what else was there to say? He grew up with 8 parents, the concept of polyamory isn't new to him. 
“Knows?” 
“Yes.”
“And?” 
So, that had been the lingering question.
“And what? He doesn't have an issue with it."
Or rather, he wants her to be happy. Which is enough of an answer.
Something settled with that and Camina didn't continue arguing.
Physically they were closer than they'd been in years. It would only take a step forward to erase any distance between them. But frankly, it felt like they were further away than ever. 
All this hurt between them hadn't vanished, nor did the forces that pulled them apart disappear. 
They were closer than ever to losing everything. 
Drummer practically had. Naomi very almost did.
But maybe that was the push they needed. The only thing they could never afford to lose. After all their distance and their arguments, they were still in each other's orbit and were unable to pull back.
Naomi's eyes had not stopped looking into Camina's. Save for the brief moment they traveled down and were captured by Drummer's lips. She had never wanted to kiss her more. 
Wrong moment be damned. And Marco and the war and the fear of letting another close to her heart. Where had that even led her anyway? 
She had never wanted more to feel Camina’s lips on hers, to show every emotion she had held back for years. All the love she had never dared to utter. 
And to let Camina do the same.
Maybe it was too late. That seemed to happen a lot in her life.
Still, something was holding her back. If she did lean in, close that short distance between them, would she be shouted at again? 
Would she hurt Camina more than soothe her? 
That, too, seemed to be happening lately. Hurting the people she loved.
But before she could take that leap forward, Camina acted first. And so, her own answer had been answered. 
It had taken her a moment to react, but soon Naomi was kissing her back with the same passion. Grabbing onto Drummer's waist to keep herself from stumbling. Every conflicting thought had been silenced all at once. 
All she could focus on was the feeling of Camina's body pressed against her, the taste of her lips, the texture of hair under her fingers. Even the saltiness of the tears that had dried on her skin. Maybe even some of her own had escaped. If they did, she wouldn't have been able to notice.
The system could have imploded in on itself, and it wouldn't matter because all she could feel and think was Camina.
But even moments like those ended, even when they felt like they could go on forever.
Naomi, though, thrived in closeness, finding it easier to express herself through touch, and didn't pull away. Instead, she placed her forehead against Drummer's.
“I don't know what will happen,” Naomi confessed.
With them, with the war, with the whole goddamn Belt
“But I hope we find a way.” It’s the only thing I can believe in anymore. 
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likes-words-and-shrimp · 11 months
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Any Tales of - game for the fandom ask :D
going with Symphonia! My first and fave Tales game <3
the first character i ever fell in love with:
It's hard to narrow it down but I did really love Lloyd when I first played! I love my dumb protagonists but he's also just such a good character with really good growth. I think after is Dirk because DWARF DAD and I always wanted to have more with him. We need more dwarves in media!
a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:
I guess the best answer here is Zelos lol. I think I used to like him plenty and found him funny but, well, a lot of that has tempered down over the years or maybe I just got very tired of seeing him as a focus in fandom and am bored of it. I played the remaster to remember his good points as a character and I came out of my replay loving Regal more oops.
a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:
Hm, nothing here really applies. When I first played I actually didn't have many ships at all, even Lloyd and Colette wasn't a full on ship for me! (But I did like them interacting a lot haha). All other ships I eventually liked I still like now.
my ultimate favorite character™:
It has to be said: it's Colette! I do switch back and forth with loving both her and Lloyd together as my pair of faves! But I think Colette ultimately wins out, especially as I've grown older. Much of her story and her struggles just hits for me in ways no other character's background really does in Symphonia. Also religious conflict/guilt of a character is also delicious to me when done well.
prettiest character:
Ohh there's a lot! So it's hard for me to pick. Ofc I think Colette is pretty but so is Lloyd, he's my pretty boy. :D But! I think after watching the OVA, I remember Regal looking so pretty in a way that his in-game model could never do. Regal it is. Also we love a beefy man who cooks, it ups that prettiness.
my most hated character:
Hmm, probably one of the Grand Cardinals, so maybe I'll go with Kvar! HE AWFUL. But fun to write though when I did that one time haha.
my OTP:
*falls on floor* if my blog title isn't obvious, colloyd is my ultimate of ships, the best of my otps. Lloyd and Colette together is food for my soul. I love every aspect of them and they have completely devoured me that I didn't even realize how much I was already shipping them until years later. I emphatically believe Symphonia is their story and about their relationship. The way they understand each other better than anyone, the way they're silly with each other, the way they just love each other?? They do love each other, that's canon. Platonic or romantic (but it's romantic in my eyes) and I am so invested in their dynamic and want to explore every possibility with them. I have apparently written half a million words about them help me.
my NOTP:
:) Sorry but I legit dislike Lloyd with the z-man lmao. I used to be indifferent (I just found it so boring) but now I'm honestly very uncomfortable with it (fandom hasn't helped). Oh well!
favorite episode scene:
I'm going with scene here and it's a tie between the coffee scene and the reveal of Colette's crystallization. Of course both have to do with Colette and how things keep being awful for her :') But I love the coffee scene for Lloyd and how he reaches to hold her, and also how Lloyd assures Colette is not disgusting at all when she has a breakdown of her reveal. Him walking to her to be NEAR HER even as she tries to hide away her sickness gets to me.
Another favorite is the ending: We got big trees, we got beautiful music, we got COLLOYD WINGS. This lives in my heart.
saddest death:
The closest is Corrine! I think what makes it sad more though is Sheena's reaction to it. Also just such a good performance of the voice actress too.
favorite season plot/arc:
Going with plots and arcs in the game, but I think from discovering Colette losing her humanity and seeing this play out throughout the Sylvarant arc of the game is so good and it does make you genuinely wonder what will happen. And when we get to the Tower of Salvation and fight Remiel and KRATOS. I was stoked playing through that when I was younger.
least favorite season plot/arc:
Hm, probably when we're doing the Tethe'alla temples and such. Pacing gets a little off and also with more characters we start to lose the focus on other people. I think it picks back up once the group focuses on curing Colette's sickness.
character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:
Lol hate is a strong word, I'm more just fatigued of him but heyyy it's Zelos! I am just uninterested. Also Kratos to a lesser extent, but oddly my opinion of him has actually raised a bit more over the years. So he's like, middle. gj, kratos.
my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:
Maybe Mithos? I like Mithos. This boy can fit so much messed up trauma and manipulation. Combined with the uncomfortable idolization of his sister to the point he no longer sees her as an actual person (if he ever did?). And the fact he can genuinely be creepy?? Still my fave Tales villain.
my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:
Colette. ;_; She deserves so much more. Also, Dirk is a close second, he deserves more attention! The dad that stayed!
my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:
So fun fact, I started shipping Lloyd/Mithos a bit purely because of some jp fanartists, and now I'm very intrigued. (I own two doujins of them now haha). I think there can be so much fun interactions between them, and none of it would be good for Lloyd. But it's fun. One day I will write something with them and no one will have a good time.
my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:
I think this would be Kratos/Anna for me, and I've written several fics of them too. I get the appeal in a way, but ultimately Anna is a character with... no established character lol. Even Kratos barely ever talks about her as what she was like as an actual person? I know plenty of people love this ship and I've seen interesting things done with it, but my investment isn't much for them. I honestly mostly like this ship for the baby Lloyd fluff you'll get from it lol.
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lovecolibri · 2 years
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SaL anon here bestie and I know I promised you a science rant but let me get this out there first. How the fuck did the writers of this godforsaken series think this season is something they'd want on their resumes?? I know nothing will ever sink lower than S2 but it's baffling to me how anyone involved, knowing there was a possibility the show would be on the chopping block even if it wasn't confirmed, thought this was something that could save them or lead to future employment. Its not just
Malex, it's all soooo bad. Both Liz and Max, the leads, are being their worst selves while trading off on who gets to make poor unilateral decisions without talking to the other and who has to suck it up while being the "best" partner (aka every fucking season's conflict with Echo). Isobel, another main, has literally no storyline, she's just doing random shit that has no apparent impact on her (jumps from Anatsa heartbreak to Kybel, to this Tezca plot, none of which involve her  brothers when her family is supposed to be her main anchor, she only shares scenes with Max and Michael when they need "muscle"). Maria is in essentially the same boat as Isobel but they have to make extra bullshit up since she lacks any relevance as a character on her own. Kyle, who everyone in the show has always relied heavily on, is relegated to pining love interest and can only talk to  Isobel or guest stars. Rosa is only around if someone needs her, otherwise not even worth  not worth mentioning. And then there is Malex *deep sigh*. The sum of it is Alex is, like Rosa, forgotten unless someone needs him (and they are annoyed he's not there) and Michael has been relegated to S1 Michael except in the ways that would be meaningful for Malex (remember when Michael wouldn't leave his Mom, who he loves as much as Alex, until Alex said he'd stay and die with  him? Where TF was he last episode?). But it's so much worse than just that. Its the baffling choice of having Michael all ready to leave for the Oasis while not even giving Alex's lack of communication a first thought (sorry writers, his 20 seconds of regret on screen do NOT make the last 5 episodes better) and the frankly offensive choice to not only have his ex care for him but be the "conduit" so they can communicate. The writers are well aware of people's views on M*ria and KNOW how disgusting this would come across. Looking at all of it, just why choose any of this 😣??
Hi bestie! Looking forward to the science rant! You’re so right though, and honestly season 2 had no coherent plot but does season 4 have one either? What is the POINT? What are we DOING? Who knows! 
Apparently Liz is aimless if she’s not trying to raise the dead, or on a deadline for The Science to be done? Suddenly she’s trying to lecture people about ethics given what she’s done? People who would not be in the position they’re in if she hadn’t been feeing them info about aliens and getting their hopes up only for Liz to be like, I can get everything I wanted, but it was hard and I did soooo much unethical shit so I think you should just give up on your daughter 🤷🏻‍♀️? Not to mention her casual assumption that Michael is out cheating on Alex at the first opportunity when Alex leaves town, and that Michael’s reaction to Alex being missing will somehow be “over the top” when her and Max have both acted worse when separated from each other? I don’t know WHAT they are doing to Liz but it’s all such a bad look. Add to that the recycled plot for Echo making decisions without each other that happens MULTIPLE times every season and IDK why we’re even supposed to root for them to be together when they clearly prefer to make solo decisions rather than work as a team.
This Isobel storyline would have been cool LAST season when we learned about Jones and about the sword and sticking a Jones victim in a season where Jones is already dead and gone seems weird and pointless. I want to like it, but like you said, she’s just off needing something to do instead of being involved in what is going on with everyone. Why isn’t SHE, the one with mindescaping powers, helping Michael find Alex? We know Michael can mindescape too, so why didn’t we see him trying to reach out to Alex that way long before now? But even without that, THIS should be something for Isobel to be involved in and might allow her and her brother to have a chat about their soulmates and learn more about her and Kyle and what’s going on there! Because I don’t know if Kyle in is 4x09 because he directed the episode so they what? Have Kybel sleep together, then Kyle fucks off for 3 episodes? Also WTF is Kyle doing this season besides performing random surgeries and chilling in Mexico while his best friend is missing? Because Alex missing SHOULD HAVE given us Kyle and Michael and Isobel working together to find him! Michael losing his powers SHOULD HAVE given us Science Bros Liz, Kyle, and Michael working together to make a cure! But once again, this show lets Kyle and the Kylex friendship down for no reason other than they hate joy and friendship apparently. Vlamis and Trevino are DELIGHTFUL together and you’d think they’d try to capitalize on that and on making Alex the focus to make up for Tyler not physically being around. But here we are suffering once again through more episodes of the m*ria d*luca show.
Speaking of THAT mess, did the cure that saved her brain take her powers away or does she have powers strong enough to link through dimensions? Is she alien enough to go through an “alien puberty” that NONE of the actual aliens went through, or is she so little alien that the bit of alien DNA she has is killing her? Does she actually have a purpose or anything to do or are they taking scenes that should belong to other characters to manufacture something for her to do? At least that last one has an answer 🙄
And again, Michael’s storyline is another one better suited for a previous season. With him and Alex at odd, we could have had the discovery of some of the alien stones (found/given to Alex and Kyle from their dads/found in their bunkers/Caulfield/research) and had Michael ready to leave until Alex gets kidnapped and he makes the choice to stay. OR we could have some imperative reason he specifically has to go to Oasis but only in a season where him and Alex are working closely together and we can see the pain of the decision. Where we stand now, NONE of this makes a lot of sense. Yeah Michael always wanted to know more about his home planet but the need to escape earth left when he told Alex “you are my home”. And he has no family, no ties, no urgent need to go back to a planet in ruins so why now? Why, when he has someone like Bonnie who can give him answers to all his burning alien questions, does he HAVE to think about going back? Going on a journey he doesn’t even know yet if Alex could survive as a human? And I can see him THINKING about the logistics of going back, and running that all excitedly in the back of his very busy mind! That tracks, but at no point should we be getting this “oh I was so concerned about going to Oasis that I forgot about Alex”. Because in NO PLAN of Michael’s is he NOT thinking about Alex! In NO PLAN of going to his home planet is Michael NOT thinking about bringing Alex with him and figuring out how long the journey would be and if they can have TWO houses with white picket fences. Yes Michael might could have gotten a little obsessed about going to Oasis now that it’s a possibility, but that entire vision would still center around him and Alex doing it together.
GOD we could have been seeing Michael leaving voicemails for Alex about his excitement and what he found out and asking if it was possible if Alex would come with him to see his home planet and instead we got....this. The absolute disrespect for all three of the love stories but especially Malex’s by forcing Michael's ex into the center of everything makes me want to scream. I can’t wait for canon to die so it can stop fucking us over.
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kasunex · 1 year
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I have to say, I have noticed a major shift in Love is War between Season 1 & 2. Of course, one of the reasons I like Love is War when I normally hate this genre is that the show builds on itself rather than remaining stagnant. But one shift in particular is bugging me: Shirogane.
Shirogane was my favorite character in Season 1 and for a pretty simple reason: he was born into poverty and worked his way to the top of the social ladder at a prestigious school through sheer grit and hard work, yet still struggles with feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. His character isn't anything groundbreaking, but it's a very compelling, relatable, and even motivating portrayal.
Here's the issue, though. By Season 2, the all important imposter syndrome that kept his character balanced is just kinda...shoved to the background, if it's still there at all. Shirogane at this point is just a chad, and for the most part, he knows it. In Season 1, Kaguya was always planning twenty steps ahead, but both Kaguya and Shirogane were clearly invested in their little war game. At that time, the two of them couldn't even ask each other for a pity ride home without making it a cat-and-mouse game. In Season 2, Kaguya is still like that, but Shirogane...just kinda isn't. Take the moon episode, he just casually starts throwing his arms around Kaguya and cuddling her like it's nothing. He's embarrassed about it a bit after the fact, but how this sudden confidence fits in with his imposter syndrome seems unclear at best.
Hell, take the intros. The Season 1 intro was always clear to mirror the two, if Shirogane blushed so did Kaguya and vice versa. The Season 2 intro on the other hand is just Kaguya simping over Shirogane while he stands just shy of telling her to "begone, thot." It might not be so bad if Kaguya was upping her game as well, but she's about at the same level as she was in Season 1. There's no war anymore, Shirogane wins, regardless of who confesses, Kaguya is a blushing mess and Shirogane is smooth as can be.
Ok, character development is always good, but it feels so off. If Shirogane is suddenly so confident around Kaguya, why is he still holding off on a confession? The explanation for why he's waiting for her to confess is supposedly that he's self-conscious about their status gap, reasonably so perhaps, but at this point that self-consciousness doesn't seem to manifest in any other way.
To be honest, I entertained the thought Shirogane was just supposed to be on a total ego trip for a while and was maybe just toying with Kaguya. But then his rejection of Ai (best girl cough) Hayasaka made clear he's still loyal enough to Kaguya to turn down a hot as hell girl directly coming onto him. He still has his morals and isn't lost to ego, and if the temptation is even there it's not apparent.
At this point, Shirogane's character just feels confused. The plot is trying to hold onto the last semblance of Shirogane's former inferiority complex to keep the central conflict unresolved, but the rest of his personality has just ascended to demi-god. He comes off as borderline flawless, but the story is desperately trying to ignore this conclusion and insist that no, Shirogane is still self-conscious.
Take the election arc. Shirogane, who has nothing but his academics and student council work fitting him into such an elite academy, practically throws half his lead out of pity and kindness towards his opponent. How do they reconcile this with his supposed lingering imposter syndrome? They make it abundantly clear that Miko is a clown who doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. It all but completely dodges the potential character dilemma.
Even when Shirogane is occasionally revealed to have something he isn't perfect at, like with the singing episode, he's one Chika montage away from being the best like no one ever was.
Honestly it's all pretty ironic. Shirogane's goals and actions are the central driving point of most of the story at this point, yet his character motivations have for some reason completely fallen by the wayside. I feel like someone reading this is gonna "laugh in read the manga", but whatever the case, it's really jarring how much Shirogane shifted between seasons, especially when the rest of the characters feel more or less the same.
The writing wants to have its cake and eat it too, to keep the character built up in Season 1 without actually reinforcing Shirogane's character flaws. What we're left with is a character who comes off one step shy of Jesus, yet is still supposedly too self-conscious to confess to his crush. Perhaps this could make for a somewhat fascinating character, but as stands it feels totally disconnected.
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