Tumgik
#but also the feelings i DO have about persons who shall not be named publicly until i know if that would be acceptable are like
sgiandubh · 5 months
Note
You really have an interesting blog and I really enjoy the cultural tidbits you weave in. I have to say though that the constant focus on Mordor is a bit much. I get that certain topics require to reference them, but it feels at times that you are just a Mordor monitoring/call-out blog. Maybe that's your goal and I just had different expectations, then I apologize for "criticizing" your content. Maybe it just feels so overwhelming to me, because we used to mostly ignore the other side. Anyway, I hope you don't hold a grudge for this feedback. I will keep an eye out for your cultural remarks.
Dear Culture Anon,
Telling me you read this blog for the 'cultural tidbits' is like me telling you I am watching OL for the Scottish landscapes: a sweet, silly lie.
I shall be, as always, brutally honest with you. My prerogative, since this is my page and everything that happens here does so on my own terms, and nobody else's.
This is your opinion, Anon and I have to respect it, which does not mean I have to abide to it. You are not the first one 'gently suggesting'. Others, including in this shipper community, have been way more virulent, publicly and privately questioning my identity, my gender, my nationality, my integrity, my career. From 'not new', to 'PR plant', to 'fraud', to ' where do you live, this is not enough to be clean' (in comments) to 'I know people ', to 'toxic content', to 'lunatic', to 'nutcase', to 'idiot', to 'impostor', to 'liar', to 'bitch', to 'manipulator', to '[insert name/handle of past/present shipper luminary here]'... I have heard just about it ALL.
Did I feel insulted? Yes. Did I feel disgusted? Yes. Did I feel overwhelmed and sick with it all? Yes. But you know what, Subtle Anon?
I NEVER FELT AFRAID.
Because I never lied to anybody about anything. Because you cannot force me, bind me, pay me, buy me. When I was wrong, I immediately corrected. I tried to remain polite and civilized to anyone in this shipper community, even when people ended up by lying about me in public. I shall still be polite and civilized to these same people: my morality, my profession and my beliefs prompt me to do so. But I am not deaf, nor dumb and certainly not a saint: judge you, I will. In my own privacy. You do exactly the same as far as I am concerned, for sure. So, we're even.
When I started to blog in here, my first feeling was this was an intimidated community. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you do not need anyone to tell you that you are read and loved and respected. Maybe you're fine with being constantly called out and insulted and seeing your beliefs ridiculed by bullies without a face. But you know what? I am not even sorry to try and change the state of play, as long as I am speaking just in my own name and taking the whole brunt of asinine insults everyday on my own behalf only.
So I am afraid this blog is not rising up to your expectations, Anon. It is a written by a person (me) with very strong opinions, who simply refuses to turn the other cheek to bullies. And also by a person who sincerely thinks that her life experience can bring a bit of clarity in some difficult to grasp, complicated situations, where it is easier to manipulate for shits, giggles and clicks. Finally, by a person who simply loves to share her favorite music, favorite paintings, favorite places on Earth with people who became quick friends - the 'cultural tidbits' you are looking for, Anon.
So, if this is too much for you, Anon, by all means, do not read me anymore. I am sure you will find other blogs in here, where you will feel more comfortable. This is, after all, a formidably intelligent and compassionate community and this, Anon, is my jam.
I will understand you, Anon and I also think I will survive this loss.
Let's say farewell with one of my favorite Baroque motets, Anon. Nulla in mundo pax sincera means that we should not expect any honest peace in this troubled world, of which this fandom is but a pale reflection. As much as I discount Vivaldi, thanks to his abuse by all the elevator companies of this world, this is one of his finest:
youtube
65 notes · View notes
yukidragon · 5 months
Text
Sunny Day Jack - Reincarnation Headcanons
It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a proper ramble for Sunny Day Jack, so let’s start getting the ball rolling again with some good old shameless OTP self-indulgence, shall we? I have no idea how long my momentum will last, but I’m going to do my best to have fun and see where things take me.
I just loved the script teaser for the upcoming demo update that got publicly posted over on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. It really got me thinking, and one line in particular intrigued me.
Jack: I can’t explain it, but I know this feeling. I've felt it before. I just can’t remember where...
This really gives me strong vibes that Joseph did have someone he loved before he died… and it really makes me keen to think that MC is his reincarnated lover. Or at least they remind him of a love he lost when he was murdered. This could also be a narrative parallel with the way MC used to(?) love Ian. It’s hard to say at this point.
Regardless, this did make me immediately think of my own MC Alice’s previous incarnation, Mary, who I first mentioned in a previous ramble. I also wrote about her in this very spicy two-sided first-person story, as well as a little snippet about Mary’s potential sweet reunion with Joseph after they were separated for years.
Tumblr media
Content Warnings: this post will have mentions of death, trauma, bullying, SA, and probably touch on other dark themes. Reincarnation stories, especially those involving murder, tend to have a bit of a dark side after all. I’ll make sure to tread lightly on these topics since the focus is on indulging in a reincarnated soulmates storyline after all. I might also indulge in some spicy thoughts as well, but we’ll see.
As I previously mentioned, I’m still on the fence about whether or not I’m going to go with the reincarnation storyline for Sunshine in Hell, or stick with it being an AU thing. There’s plenty of pros and cons for both routes in my mind, and I’m still not quite decided yet. Though playing with it more in these rambles, reading that teaser, and even seeing other MCs with past incarnations have made me start to lean in that direction.
Though… it’s pretty sad to imagine that Joseph had love in his past… only to forget about it and only remember the persona of Jack that he’s wearing now. Then again, he would no doubt be sad that his lover forgot about him too. It’s not either of their fault of course. Death is a cruel thing that takes away so much…
Still, it would make more sense why Alice would feel compelled to save Jack, not just because she was in a vulnerable place and couldn’t turn away when someone was suffering and she could help him. A part of her would feel this strong sense of longing and nostalgia, a feeling that she had been waiting for this person for such a long, long time…
It also is more reason for Jack to instantly fall in love with Alice. Even if he forgot he was Joseph and anything tied to that life… he still remembered Mary, even if only as a feeling of love. Names, faces, and places aside from the lore of Sunny Day Jack were erased, but there was only ever one person who made him feel truly loved, and she found him again, just like she did before. He might not remember it, but a part of him wished for her to find him again for 40 long years.
Naturally, with a reincarnation storyline, that means that memories of the past would inevitably return. How much and how quickly are up for debate, but most likely it would be a gradual process for both of them.
It would be interesting if Alice remembered everything first. After all, Jack is practically traumatized by the idea of being Joseph. He doesn’t want to remember being that person who made so many mistakes and was so flawed. This is especially true if his death involved horrible secrets being revealed about him… secrets he never wanted Mary to know that he feared would ruin things between them forever.
Joseph would never have told Mary about his time as a bully, or why he ran away from Haberdae High. He couldn’t forgive himself for what he did, couldn’t see anyone being able to ever love someone who did something so horrible. He couldn’t let his past mistakes ruin things. He couldn’t lose her, not after he finally found her again. He wanted to be a better person for himself and for her.
Mary hated bullies, and Joseph had become the worst of the worst of them. Even if she hadn’t been his victim personally, he knew how she felt about bullies, how the damage they inflicted on someone never truly disappeared…
Having his ugly past revealed before her and the entire world in the worst way possible was no doubt soul crushing.
If the two of them had more time together, Mary could have helped Joseph open up about the things he was ashamed about and eventually forgive himself for his past mistakes, but he died at the worst possible time. It’s all the more reason why he can’t handle being Joseph anymore.
I’d have to consider all the implications of Alice remembering being Mary and if Jack would remember enough to be terrified of that idea. After all, if she remembers, sure she remembers the good moments, but she would also remember when his mask was ripped off and revealed the ugly person he was underneath. In that case, he would try to stop it from happening, deflect and avoid, terrified to let the past resurface while trying not to remember it himself.
Of course Sunshine in Hell is a story of two broken people healing and opening enough to expose their scars in order to heal. Alice would help Jack trust that he can be flawed, he can make mistakes, and she’ll still love him. It’ll take time, but eventually he’ll learn to stop hating the person he was and accept that he was always worthy of love.
While pondering possibilities, I also thought of the classic reincarnated transmigrator stories that are especially popular in the webcomic scene. The idea of Mary being reborn into her favorite story as the “villainess” Alice gives me a little chuckle. Though that’ll be an AU for another post.
Anyway, I considered how much Alice remembers of being Mary and when it started. Many reincarnation stories have the MC remember all at once when they’re young, sometimes even as a baby. That certainly wouldn’t be the case for Sunshine in Hell, since the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it would change the story, particularly when it comes to Alice and Ian’s relationship.
If Alice remembered her past life before she met Jack, it would be a painful gut punch, to say the least. There would be a strong feeling of dissociation. This life is so different from her past one, and Joseph isn’t there. It would give this feeling of not really being sure of who she was or if she should really be there. Does she deserve this life?
Then of course there’s the problems of remembering life as an adult while being stuck in a child’s body and all the issues that come with that.
Still… Mary always longed for a family who actually loved her, and Alice has that. It would be impossible for her to resist wanting to be Alice with her whole heart, to be surrounded by such love in a way she only experienced with one person. The only thing missing would be Joseph. A part of her would feel guilty about being happy without him.
But… if she was reborn, then Joseph must have been too, right? Would he remember her? How would she find him in this vast world?
Though… she did it before didn’t she? On a lonely road in the middle of nowhere, far from their old homes, somehow she found him. Even though he had changed, she still recognized him immediately. Surely she would find him again in this life too.
Mary didn’t have anyone left at the end of her life, and so she lost hope. Alice, however, has people around her who love her. She has hope and reasons to keep living. She has people who want her to be happy and feel loved, even without Joseph by her side.
So Alice would open her heart to the love all around her and live. She would also hold onto the hope that someday she would find her starlight again, no matter what name he had now.
Ian… is not Joseph. There are parallels in the game’s narrative between him and Jack, but their personalities are way too different. Ian and Alice would become friends, but romance wouldn’t develop between the two. It wouldn’t feel right for many reasons to Alice, especially since he’s just… not her starlight. She would be fond of Ian certainly and want to protect him, but she could only view him as a little brother, especially if she had the memories of an adult while they were still children.
So when poor shy Ian gathered the courage to confess to Alice, she had to gently turn him down. It just wasn’t fair to him, or to her. Maybe someday her heart will move on, but not yet, not until she finds someone who makes her feel love the way Joseph did.
Of course, if Alice remembered later on in her teens after she already had a crush on Ian, that complicates things. Sometimes traumatic incidents make people remember their past life incarnations in these stories. For Alice, her most traumatic incident was when she suffered from SA.
Boy, what an awful time to remember one’s tragic death and lost love, don’t you think?
Alice woke up in the aftermath in pain while remembering even more pain, two overlapping identities warring in her mind even as she has to deal with the fresh trauma inflicted upon her. It took her a while to process what happened to her even without adding the memories of Mary on top of all of that.
One side of Alice feels the pain of losing the love of her life as well as fresh memories of dying slowly all alone, and the other side just lost her innocence after her power and agency were stripped away from her. It would be quite a rough time, and how could she tell anyone about these memories? Who would believe her? They’re too real to feel like just a dream she had due to trauma… but what if she’s wrong? Could trauma be great enough to create memories of an entirely different life in an instant?
Fortunately, Alice has the love of her family to help her through hard times, as well as good friends like Ian to support her. It takes a while for her to really process and accept everything, but she at least knows she is loved.
In this scenario, despite the crush Alice had on Ian, she wouldn’t feel right letting it develop into anything more, especially not when her memories of Joseph and the intense love she had for him would be so much more fresh. She would feel guilty, as though she had cheated on… Ian? Joseph? Both?
Either way, Alice is not in any state to enter into a romantic relationship.
So, hey, Alice might be facing reincarnation trauma and dissociation with her identity in this AU, but she avoids a bad romantic relationship and being cheated on. Poor Ian gets turned down by his childhood friend turned crush, but at least they’re still good friends, even if she’s a bit more distant now after the… incident.
Regardless of the twists and turns remembering her past would take her to the present day, eventually Alice finds the tape. It’s just so compelling. When she sees it’s an episode of the SunnyTime Crew Show, well, there’s no way she could resist it. Just the logo would hit her with painful nostalgia and struggling not to cry in the thrift store. For a moment, she just hugs the tape to herself, remembering all the times she wrote for the show as Mary, watched the filming, and especially the last day they ever filmed… and it leaves her longing for the day she finds her starlight again.
Alice has to watch the tape.
It feels ominous too. The blood red handwritten scrawl of “‘84 Incident” makes Alice think about that incident… but surely that couldn’t be… right? LambsWork Productions destroyed every trace of the show. Surely they would’ve gone scorched earth on any recording of the murder?
Then again, if all the tapes were destroyed… that should have included the one she found in this thrift store…
Alice all but runs back home after buying the tape, not bothering with anything else she was going to purchase that day. Her hands are shaking when setting up the VCR, but fortunately she remembers how to use it. It’s almost muscle memory going through the motions of playing a VHS tape. She can’t peel her eyes away from the screen, holding her breath.
The show starts and… oh the pain from nostalgia is unlike anything else. Jack - her starlight - is there. That familiar dazzling smile shining at her as the episode starts. When he greets her and asks her name, she can’t help but answer him, though she doesn’t notice which name she gives him…
I’ve gone over thoughts of how the deal between Alice and Jack might have gone in previous posts. Seeing Joseph’s death again hurts like hell, but the moment Jack starts to talk directly to her, that’s when her heart really starts to pound.
Needless to say, Alice is just as desperate to save Jack as he is to be saved. The pact is made, and their souls are tied together, making them true soulmates.
Then again they already were even without the deal. ;3
Of course, the trauma of the pact does make Alice forget the agreement they made, but her reaction is very different when she wakes up. There’s a moment where she just has to stare at Jack, smiling gently down at her, greeting her like he used to… and she starts to shake. This isn’t a dream, is it?
Jack innocently replies that of course it’s not a dream. Her pal Sunny Day Jack is here to brighten up her day!
Jack doesn’t expect Alice to practically throw herself into his arms and hug him, but he reacts instantly to embrace her. It’s familiar, warm, wonderful, and everything he could ask for.
“I’m happy to see you too, sunshine,” Jack said with a chuckle.
Unfortunately… Jack is in character. Alice calling him Joseph is like a splash of ice, chilling him to the core and he has to correct her, gently of course.
It’s very apparent to Alice that Jack is shaken up. She tries to explain, talk of their past lives and remembering, and Jack… can’t handle it, burying himself deeply into the character of Sunny Day Jack, insisting he’s not who she thinks he is, trying to skirt away from anything Joseph. He cites off lore of the SunnyTime Crew and Sunny Day Jack that she helped write about the character back when she was on the writing staff.
It’s surreal for both of them, with mixed feelings, but Jack is ever eager to change the topic to something sunnier, to try and be the best and brightest friend known as Sunny Day Jack. Alice learns she can’t push him, at least not right now, but now… she’s left wondering if this is really Joseph… or a memory left in the tape? What if he’s just the character brought to life?
What if she lost her mind?
Still, Alice can’t bring herself to push Jack away, even if it’s a bit painful. Over time she picks up that he is Joseph after all, but he forgot everything.
Is this the result of the tape? The murder? Something else? Alice has to figure out what really happened at the studio that day. At the same time, she has to focus on figuring out where to go with Jack.
Alice wished to see Joseph again, no matter what name he had now, but she never expected something like this.
Still… she’s different now too. She’s not Mary anymore. She might have Mary’s memories, but she also has Alice’s memories, a second lifetime in different circumstances, different choices and experiences. She’s different from who she used to be.
So what does that mean for her and Joseph Jack?
Obviously the shadow of Joseph scares Jack. Alice won’t force him to remember, not when his death and what came after were so horrible. Instead she tries to get to know who he is now and figure out where to go from there.
Alice quickly falls in love with Jack. He’s not Joseph, and yet the important parts of him that she fell in love with are still the same. She sees little things of Joseph in him, but he’s also different at the same time. He’s changed, he’s masking things, but he’s still her silly starlight who never failed to make her smile.
Jack tries to overlook memories Alice stirs up in him, hints of sunshine that looked a bit different, but with the same beautiful blue eyes that always held such warmth. He focuses solidly on the present and enjoying his life now with his sunshine.
Still, Joseph’s habits slowly come back in spite of himself. Alice makes him feel so loved and accepted. He has moments where he slips, and she loves him despite it.
Needless to say, this AU would also have a happy ending. They would also get together much sooner than the main universe. While Alice would be trying to keep a respectable distance to understand who Jack was now as he is without forcing him to be someone he doesn’t want to be anymore or pushing her feelings and memories on him, Jack is a yandere who wants her badly. He’s going to notice her feelings quickly and do everything he can to encourage them.
Since Alice doesn’t have baggage from her toxic relationship with Ian holding her back, and she’s been aching to be with Joseph for so long, it won’t be long before her resolve crumbles. He’s always been so good at seducing her, even while dressed up as a silly clown. He might be wearing a different name and look, but he’s still her starlight, and he always had a knack for making her feel so loved, precious, and irreplaceable.
Jack might have buried his memories, but he’s quick to remember all of the ways he could make his sunshine melt in his arms. There are small hiccups due to her SA trauma as he has to be careful about the triggers she has from that, but he’s patient and gentle with her. He thoroughly focuses on her pleasure and comfort, making sure she feels nothing but safe and loved the entire time.
Needless to say, Alice’s first time in this universe is much more pleasant than it is in the main timeline.
It all feels familiar to both of them, the physical and emotional aspects of making love that they experienced countless times in the past, but the feelings are more intense due to the supernatural connection between them making their feelings bleed into one another. Jack at times is almost overwhelmed by nostalgia, but it doesn’t scare him when they’re making love. The nickname of “starlight” Alice used for him was always familiar, but it didn’t upset him like the name “Joseph” did, not when it’s his sunshine calling him that, saying she loves him, and kissing him so tenderly. She makes sure to call him Jack or starlight even while she’s screaming in pleasure beneath him. She’s careful to avoid old names that bring him pain, focusing on who he is now, taking care not to push him when she senses it’s causing him distress. She cares just as much about his comfort and avoiding his triggers just as he does for her.
That increase in intimacy, both physical and emotional, is the trigger that starts Jack really remembering things as Joseph, but not in a negative way. It’s an addicting feeling, one that’s hard to resist, especially when it feels so, so good and comes with so much pleasure and love.
Still, at some point Jack starts to get those fears of Alice learning… something. He still flees from those bad memories, not even wanting to know what that something was.
But over time… Alice helps Jack accept his past. It takes him a while, but when he’s forced to face it and she reinforces the fact that she accepts him, even the awful things he did back then, that she still loves him… he practically collapses into her arms, crying, just so relieved.
For 40 years he was convinced that the reveal destroyed everything, robbed him of love, and it… didn’t. Alice lets Jack be who he wants to be and accepts the mistakes he made in the past who are a part of the person he is today. She loves him even with all his flaws, and she wants to help him to keep growing to become the person that he wants to be, because he’s always been the person she wants to be with, flaws and all.
It still takes Jack a while to accept his past identity as Joseph, but Alice helps him. She can also relate, as it took her a while to accept her past incarnation as Mary too. It’s something they both can understand intimately. Even if their circumstances for being reborn as new people are different, they both understand each other in a way no one else can, and they help each other navigate what it means to live a new life while being haunted by the memories of a previous one that was less than ideal.
Fortunately, this time, their love story has a happy ending instead of a tragic one.
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur
45 notes · View notes
lei-z-fan · 2 years
Text
ALRIGHT LETS TALK ABOUT GRAY HERE FOR A SEC
Tumblr media
LETS SEE THEN SHALL WE
Tumblr media
OKAY. GRAY HAVING JUVIA BRAIN-ROT ISN’T EVEN A JOKE ANYMORE.
I might have Gruvia fever but I just feel like this whole page says a lot (I mean like every time Gray thinks of Juvia says a lot) about his perspective.
I just love that literally every time he thinks of Juvia it’s her always saying his name with such love or just expressing her affection 😭
I could analyze every memory.
AND I WILL
Tumblr media
Memory 1#
Juvia calling out to him with her aura; a classic
Definitely a core memory for him. Personally I like to think all those hearts a sparkles is what he see when she does that. But I know it’s just Juvia being Juvia
Tumblr media
Memory 2#
Juvia calling out his name while hugging him; I think it’s safe to say this is pre-100 year quest. So he’s not as comfortable with affection as he is now. We’ve seen him being able to publicly accept and reciprocate affection for Juvia; so I think this is all he has to recall when she’s giving him physical affection.
Tumblr media
Memory 3#
Again Juvia calling out to Gray, this time she is chasing after him.
(Honestly gives me Pucca and Garu vibes)
Definitely pre-100 years quest again. While it can be spun as a negative association with Gray running away; it might be a stretch for me to say but I think this frames a trait that he loves about her.
And I say this because it what makes Juvia— well Juvia. Her shameless expression of affection. Something that has always stayed in my head was Gray seeing Juvia when she was taken over by the white witch.
Tumblr media
It’s her lack of reaction to Gray telling her that he is happy to see her (with the implacation of missing her). He knew something was up. He knows her. In fact while Juvia gushed and all; it was never really 100%. And it bothered him.
Tumblr media
That’s also how Gray wasn’t affected by the snow doll. Because it’s couldn’t properly replicate how she shows affection. Gray has come to love Juvia as whole of who she is.
Tumblr media
Memory 4#
Juvia with her classic love rival line. There isn’t like anything specific I can go into detail. It’s just a prominentpart of Juvia’s comedic character lmao but that just goes with my previous memory analysis with it just Juvia being Juvia.
Can’t lie though Juvia’s Love Rival antics do come in handy at times like with Briar, Francoise, and Catelyn.
Tumblr media
Memory 5#
Honestly my favorite.
She is simply just saying his name. And it’s just occupying his brain. He’s obsessed 🪄☕️
I feel like they were all an accumulation Juvia antics to result in just this final one. Her. It’s all just her. If that makes any sense
All of what Juvia is just takes up in his mind about her. Which I just absolutely adore.
Also to add
When the “weak bond” thing happened and he turned into himself got me so sad for a sec because I was like “noooo gray 😭 you’re a strong good boy” but it was a set up for a friendship quip which was sweet. But man like not even Happy 😬 like come on. Nothing like Gray sad boy hours huh.
Anyway back to waiting 6 more months for another Gruvia moment
Tumblr media
371 notes · View notes
kamisathoes · 2 years
Text
my experience with juju (@seakicker).
Tumblr media
hello, i would like to begin this by saying that i did not want to post this. however, i believe that it is at this point justified. i have spent a few months having issues with her, and it reached a breaking point when i was offered no opportunity to explain myself when presented with false accusations by juju in dms.
before getting in to anything i would like to share a note. screenshots of messages here are either from a public discord server, or have been retrieved with permission of the person that sent them. i do not believe it is okay to share private dms publicly, thus will not be doing so - there will only be summaries of private dms mentioned. in these screenshots, the names of users will be blocked out. some (primarily the ones from my public server) contain irrelevant messages that just happened to be in the middle of a conversation. they are not relevant, especially considering most of the people in them are no longer in the server. in addition to this, i think it is perhaps worth noting that "fauna" is my new alias, thus why it is present in most screenshots. 
i do not have an exact date, but some time prior to february 7th i noticed that i was blocked on tumblr. initially i just let it slide, because i believe that the block button exists for a reason.
to myself, i narrowed it down to three things that it could be. 
first of all is this occurrence from january 31st. for context, this is the same day that my discord server was made (link to the post that i made announcing the server). she was amongst the people who joined and the topic of tumblr’s tagging system occurred. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
whilst i do regret pointing this out, i was reassured by juju that it was okay and that she did not think that i was trying to be rude. furthermore, i proceeded to apologize in dms and was once again reassured. i did not think about this again. 
the second conversation i do not have screenshots of, and for that reason i shall explain. what occurred was another tumblr user made a comment regarding blackwashing in my server. please bear in mind that my server was new, and me and the rest of the staff team worked as quickly as we could to come up with a way to go about this. the person who made the comment was justly reprimanded and warned in a channel that is hidden from everybody except for me and my admins. the messages were deleted both in the channel that this occurred and in the hidden punishment channel (that part happens during every instance). (this has since been fixed with the addition of a bot to log such messages).
juju continued to attempt to educate this user in the public channel. staff did not really step in which was regretful, though there is no turning back the clock. this was settled privately. i have since explained this to juju in private messages, of which this issue was thus explained and dealt with. 
finally, the reason that seemed to be the nail in the coffin and caused me to get blocked was me unfollowing her. i was not aware that i had done so until over a month later (march 13th to be specific) as this was caused by a glitch with tumblr itself. this same glitch also caused me to unfollow other mutuals.
i put his behind me and did my best to move on. yes, i am guilty of venting to mutuals about what happened. but i made it explicit every single time that i was in no way trying to change anybody’s opinions. i never intended it with any malice towards juju. and please feel free to ask anybody who i vented to about this, i am sure that they will back me up here. (because again, private dms.)
after being told that she was also talking to others about me, i saw no issue. however, when somebody comes to me and shares screenshots of a conversation where juju has shared messages from the aforementioned january 31st occurrence, i felt extremely uncomfortable. the screenshots were cropped to exclude the messages where some of my apologies and parts where she said that everything was okay and that things she knew i meant no harm were cropped out.
again, i do not recall ever having sent private dms to people. all that i sent were screenshots of what happened in my public server, which i deem entirely valid to do because it is a public thing. if this has ever happened, i sincerely apologize and that will never happen again. 
after these screenshots were brought to my attention ( march 31st ), i made a vent post regarding things. yes, i was supposedly wrong about these accusations. i have since cut contact with the person who made me believe them. this is something that i apologized to juju for in dms, and thus something that i believed she accepted.
shortly after i made this post, i privately messaged juju on discord. again, i will not share screenshots of this conversation. a lot of miscommunications were discussed and seemed like they had been resolved, including all of the points above.
apologies were exchanged, and i truly believed this to be the end of things. whilst juju seemed happy to return to being mutuals, i expressed my discomfort with it, and suggested that i need the time to heal, which she said she respected. generally, things ended on fairly amicable terms.
on april 13th, i was made aware that juju was again talking shit about me. this was due to a third party who had joined her server, someone whom had been banned from my own discord server. for context, after much discussion, i decided to introduce a rule banning cis men from my server due to the actions of this person as well as members expressing discomfort with men in nsfw spaces as a whole. i made the decision after a long discussion with admins and mods, and added the rule on march 18th.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i let this slide once again, because it was such a minor thing to me.
however, on april 30th i was made aware of this, and i'll just let the images speak for themself here.
Tumblr media
( link to ask )
here you can see somebody (names blocked for privacy) that is telling me about their experiences with juju, including how they were encouraged to send a spiteful anon to me. i wholeheartedly trust this person based on my interactions with them. 
finally, i will deny any claims regarding me spreading juju's real name and proceeding to make fun of it. i never did this, as i do not know her name. i am aware that her discord profile was linked to other accounts, as this was a passing comment made by a friend of mine. in no way do i agree with doxxing in any way, shape, or form, much less bullying somebody for their name. i wish to also note here that i have asked juju about this (that is what i was referring to in this ask), as well as making a follow up message that i will happily welcome into my discord server to see for herself. 
i genuinely have no clue why this has continued for so long. it's contributed to my stress and put a lot of strain on me. i wish only to exist in my little corner of the internet and not be dragged into this. this will be my final post about this situation as i wish to move on from it. i was genuine when i told juju earlier today that i wished to just ignore one another and put this past us, but i feel a need to share my experiences and sides of the story. 
thank you for listening, i genuinely appreciate it. i don't wish to say anything further on this, unless juju herself is willing to reach out and reconcile. thank you again.
— thena.
210 notes · View notes
yr-obedt-cicero · 1 year
Note
Which of the hamkids was most like Alexander himself? In your opinion.
According to Elizabeth, it was their youngest daughter, Eliza Hamilton Holly (Ironic). Which is interesting because she was only four years old when her father passed, I doubt she had many clear memories of him.
“You don't know how important you are to me. You step in the steps of your father's kindness, and the more you are with me, the more I see that you are like him.”
(source)
But in this, I think Elizabeth is comparing from all the children who actually survived into adulthood. In my opinion, from my standpoint with all the abundance of research I have done into the children; I'm more inclined to believe it was Philip who inherited much of his father's character.
From much of the surviving media about Philip, you can draw a pretty clear picture of his character. Philip seemed to have taken after his father in more ways than one; he had a clever wit, he was described to have been pleasurable company, he seemed to make friends easily, and was consumed by his studies. But he was also rebellious, sometimes reckless, prideful, and even arrogant. He was also, much like his father, obsessed with his honor, and sometimes quick to anger. There are countless times it is said he inherited Hamilton's talents, and Hamilton had high hopes that his eldest son would follow in his father's footsteps into the law and politics.
Really, the whole engagement between Eacker and Philip also truly shows how much the father and son were alike. Contrary to popular belief; the Hamilton-Eacker duel was not in defense of Hamilton's honor, but rather Philip's after he was called a “damned rascal” by Eacker. Even when Philip and Price were wrong in their accusations Eacker's speech was against Hamilton, Philip was much too arrogant to back down and continued to pester Eacker throughout the night while drunk.
“Mr. Eacker feeling himself thus pointedly the object of contempt and ridicule, and his name being mentioned aloud, could no longer sustain the painful sensation resulting from his situation. He determined to leave the box, and remonstrate with Mr. Hamilton privately in the lobby with his back towards Mister Hamilton and Price, overcome with agitation and shame to be thus treated, he exclaimed "It is too abominable to be publicly insulted by a set of Rascals."—"Who do you damn'd Rascals?" was the immediate enquiry repeated again and again. Mr. Eacker felt anxious to avoid a broil in the Theatre, and observed to the gentlemen, that he lived at No: 50 Wall-street, where he was always found—"Your place of residence has nothing to do with us!" was the reply. Upon this, some person's observing an intention as they supposed to as assault Mr. Eacker, and desires to prevent a disturbance to the Theatre, stepped before the gentlemen, and with difficulty prevented their approaching Mr. Eacker. Mr. Eacker then requested them to make less noise, and proposed retiring to some private place.
On their way to the tavern, irritating language passed among the gentlemen, Misters. Hamilton and Price peremptorily insisted upon Mr. Eacker's particularizing the person to whom he had applied the appellation of Rascal.—Mr. Eacker demanded of them whether they came into the box on purpose to insult him! "That is nothing of the purpose," was the immediate reply: "We insist upon your particularizing the person you meant to distinguish by the the appellation of Rascal."—"Did you mean to insult me?" again repeated Mr. Eacker, "We insist upon a direct answer," was reiterated—"Well then you are both Rascals." Upon leaving the house, Misters. Price and Hamilton conducted themselves in such a manner as would inevitably, if continued, have drawn the attention of persons in the street. Mr. Eacker said "Gentlemen, you had better make less noise; I shall expect to hear from you."—"That you shall," was the immediate reply.”
(source)
And hey, coincidentally; both of them died in duels for the defense of their honor.
37 notes · View notes
mckinneycraft8 · 2 years
Text
The Most Effective Chloe Look Alike Bags And The Place To Find Them
The persona is accompanied by a singular and stylish romance, which is amazing. In a flashback during season three, some time during season 1, Reese discovered that Lucifer was sleeping with his ex-wife. Even although he and Linda had been separated for 2 years, he needed revenge on Lucifer. He adopted Lucifer to Lux, the place Lucifer, misunderstanding his intentions, satisfied Reese to be artistic along with his revenge. Reese then satisfied his boss to let him work on a narrative about Lucifer's job with the LAPD, with the intent on publicly humiliating Lucifer and the police department for working with him. The subsequent day, Reese confirmed up at the police division and commenced interviewing officers about Lucifer, solely to study that Dan was the one one who disliked him. Backpack on both sides of the entrance there are two zippers, up and down can regulate the capacity, but in addition a very intimate design. Look on the internal map, the zipper pull down when the bag shall be bigger, so the power to adjust the capability of the bag probably the most sensible. This bag is at present a mini and medium two sizes, we are able to see the following comparability chart. The designer’s intention could also be to vary the style with three different designs of shoulder straps. I have to say that such a design does have the suspicion of catching up with the complexity of the town flyover. How can Chloé followers think that altering the shoulder strap is equivalent to changing one? Among them, Drew and Faye and lots of other replica bag totes have turn into a phenomenon in the fashion circle for a while, and nearly all ladies who love fashion have a CHLOE ROY Mini Smoky Blue Leather Embroidered Horse Pattern Bucket Bag. Everyone thinks that the value of those two bags is basically too excessive. Most female dogs should experience the warmth cycle at least two occasions in a yr or as quickly as in each seven months. The Angelika multiplex continues to be too new to take this category, and we're not but positive if it will next 12 months, anyway. (Although it is fairly candy. See "Best Movie Pitch Worth the Wait" in Scenes.) chloe bags replica The Inwood is a grand old dame of a movie theater and once more deserves our "Best Of" label, hands down . A yr I thought had some impact I satisfied myself that such was the case, Cameron says. I personally have been in love with the Chloé Faye bag since I first spotted it a couple of year and a half in the past. It’s not typically that I fall in love with a bag instantly – I normally need to see it within the official boutique in individual before I can affirm my admiration for a bag – but the Chloé Faye was one of those uncommon baggage that I fell in love with upon first sight. First of all the bag has a minimalist vibe which I love , and it has a classic vibe as properly. These extremist want to subjugate women to harsh male dominance, rape if essential, without desire or want of conception. Far from making me feel intimated, I would watch the lame dialogue and overwrought squeals and know I could do better and be far sexier. If you open to someone fantasyland, and so they to yours, porn can come near replicating the experiences you possibly can have with one another. Then some rescue group decides to spring you and transport you god is conscious of the place. Others implore peace, like the idyllic "Make Peace," a Monet like picnic scene. Every model has a singular id that has its personal followers. While this is great, it additionally signifies that people who love name manufacturers are prepared to go to any size to acquire products from their favourite trend homes. Owning a garment or purse from the season’s latest collection doesn’t make you a style wizard – it only makes you look like you’re making an attempt too exhausting. Speaking of shoulder bag, now the most properly liked is the model new member of the Chloe Faye family Faye Backpack, it inherits the high worth of Faye, lovely to not. The addition of the new designer Natacha Ramsay-Levi to Chloe brings more power and a cooler and extra stylish attitude to Chloe . Chloe bag iconic steel ring, shiny gold metal ring, you can also see the fine particulars. The Tess saddle bag is oval, and the bag is surrounded by a belt design that surrounds the bag and is then connected to the shoulder strap. Although the chloe tess saddle replica bag has no obvious logo, it's on a quantity of leathers. Engraved with emblem, together with a hand strap and a long shoulder strap. It will be on the shoulders of the brown medium-sized Faye Backpack elegant and comfy. Chloe Marcie Medium Shoulder Bag Marcie purses impressed by the national wind within the Seventies, the distinctive hardware design and distinctive type of vintage hand stitching, is according to the retro trend. If you wish to purchase a giant bag recently, this Aby Lock bag can be a very good alternative. wikipedia handbags Not only is it one of Replica Chloe Handbags hottest bag fashions, but the lock can also be from the brand’s most Iconic lock bag, Paddington, and the fashion is unquestionably not bad! Some younger women need to purchase a big-name bag, however they ca n’t discover a appropriate one, particularly afraid of being too mature. Hoax of exposure is a semi-comical or personal sting operation. It often encourages individuals to behave foolishly or credulously by falling for patent nonsense that the hoaxer intentionally presents as actuality. Computer virus hoaxes became widespread as viruses themselves began to unfold.
0 notes
dinhxpressions · 2 years
Text
Annabel Marshall
Tumblr media
1. Name, Year, Major Annabel Marshall (Nathan & Joey, if you spell my name wrong I will come to your house and let Michael host an onion-cutting CLW there), 2nd year, Psychology 
2. If you could eat a meal for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?  Mashed potatoes contain all the nutrients you need to survive according to a tweet I saw in 2017. Also, I like poke. 
3. What do you think is the NUMBER ONE most important thing in a relationship or friendship? Genuinely enjoying another’s presence and feeling as though you are gaining something, whether it be comfort, knowledge, or entertainment, from being around them. If you don’t like being with someone, I can’t see how you could have an authentic or lasting relationship/friendship. 
4. What is the best advice someone has given to you? Describe the situation if possible. One of my coaches growing up used to say, “Safety third.” Implicitly, he was advising me to question authority. Plus, one time he taped a knife to someone’s foot, which was exciting. 
5. What are three things on your bucket list? Live for an extended period of time in Europe and be closer to my family there. Read the entire anthology of Kurt Vonnegut. Be excommunicated, preferably by the Pope himself.   
6. If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for? I should like to be famous as an anti-social author and or artist whose work becomes so rapidly successful that they become a hermit for the remainder of their days, à la J.D. Salinger or Neutral Milk Hotel’s Jeff Mangum. I shall let the countryside become my muse and invest my passions into the growing of heirloom radishes or something equally pretentious. However, Eddie Su says I’m already famous, so maybe no radishes. 
7. If you could swap lives with someone for a day, who would it be and why? God. Say goodbye to mosquitos, Montana, and quantum physics. 
8. If you could create a whole new subject to be taught in school, what would it be? Knot-tying. I’ve seen the way y’all tie your paddles. There’s a better way. 
9. What do people constantly misunderstand about you? I am not an English major. If I correct your grammar, it is an involuntary reflex from being raised by two teachers. Please tell me to stop. 
10. What is something you regret doing or not doing? Would you change it if given the opportunity? Why or why not? Hi, guys. It’s taken me a long time to write this, mostly because it is a 250-word minimum and that is so many words. Way more words than I thought it would be, honestly. I want to take this opportunity to say publicly that I deeply regret not turning in this Xpressions on time. I am deeply sorry to Dinh term Recording Secretaries, whoever they may be, as well as my friends and my family. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. I have made mistakes in the past of which I am not proud, including not checking my email for like a week. This is not an excuse, just an explanation. It’s important to me that my many supporters know what is going on. I don’t want to be forgiven, I just want to better myself. I have learned from my mistakes and am eager to grow as a person. For example, I checked my email today. It was hard, but I believe in being brave. I hope I inspire others. If even just one person checks their email because of me, I feel I will have repaid my debt to society. Perhaps I should even be applauded. Who’s to say? I am truly sorry if you were offended or physically injured due to my oversight. Thank you to my fans for your continued support. I know I have great, great influence and I am striving to hold myself accountable. I believe in love. I believe in people. Like and subscribe.
0 notes
necropsittacus · 4 years
Text
x
#inconvenient how like.hm. what are feelings. why do i have to categorize these.#like. i still feel that i do Not experience the construct of romance or romantic feelings. and i do not want to#and if i try to think about the idea of 'dating' or like me having a boyfriend/partner/etc its very weird and awkward and kinda bad#so that repulsion is still there! for which i am glad because its been an important part of my identity#but also the feelings i DO have about persons who shall not be named publicly until i know if that would be acceptable are like#hm. such that i know i do have a differentiated category of emotions#and that and the wants that come with it are. i feel on a gut level that its Different From Romance.#but i dont know *what the difference actually is* beyond me like. rejecting the supremacy of romance(TM) as a political choice yknow#like. i would call this Being In Love. but not romo. just#am i allowed to just want to pledge my love and loyalty and tell people its not romantic feelings if they ask and let the feelings be#what they are#and then like half my models for interpersonal interaction are in this weird Medieval Narrative space that feels defined differently#from the modern conceptiosn#like hm. were i actually living in a 'knight pledged to lord' kind of narrative. *those* are structures i like and that make sense to me#and in that case would what i feel be distinguishable from romance at all? or is it just the actual structures that dont work for me?#what a mess idk#ignore me im just trying to write some stuff out#i know there IS a difference that isnt just 'i dont choose to conceptualize my relationships as romantic' but i also know that#from an outsiders perspective. the last time i felt this way it looked the same as romance#even though in retrospect it wasnt really#and ik back in the 'you have One Special Friend at a time. you would die for them. all your love is for this person' days#i always thought of that friend as just that--'best friend'--and everyone else said crush#and in retrospect neither were quite right? so who knows
5 notes · View notes
97-liners · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
manager!jeonghan x fem!celebrity!reader
genres & themes: fake dating but subverted, celebrity au, fluff, rom com, romance
words: 9.5k
warnings: nothing really explicitly described or overly angsty, but mc is a celebrity and was a child star, and several other characters are also celebrities. because of that, there’s mentions of media pressure, paparazzi stalking, questionable managers/parents while she was a child star, body image concerns, dieting, and a generally unhealthy hollywood lifestyle. but i keep everything relatively light! this is definitely not angst!
in which your manager, jeonghan, thinks it’ll be good publicity for you to date hollywood actor and notable heartthrob, joshua hong. of course, everything would be nice and easy if you ended up falling in love with your fake boyfriend joshua, but life is complicated, and your heart ends up pulling you in another direction completely.
feat: hot actor with a heart of gold joshua, eccentric soundcloud rapper vernon, long-suffering personal trainer seungcheol, and angry producer jihoon
title and soundtrack: down to earth - umi 
————————
“We have got to find you a boyfriend,” Jeonghan tells you, just as you take your first sip of your americano. 
Predictably, you narrowly avoid doing a spit take all over the inside of the van. Jeonghan doesn’t even spare you a second glance as he hands you a fistful of napkins for the coffee that dribbles down your chin and onto your brand new white balenciaga sweatpants. 
“We’ll take those to the dry cleaners after recording,” he throws in casually as he shifts the car out of park and into reverse. 
We have got to find you a boyfriend? “I can’t tell if you just insulted me, or gave me professional advice,” you tell him, half heartedly dabbing at the stain on your right thigh. 
Jeonghan makes a sharp merge into traffic, and a little bit of coffee escapes your cup through the hole meant for the straw, again dripping onto your pants. “It’s both,” he tells you. “I’ve been thinking. I don’t think it’s very marketable for you to be single right now, especially since that person just announced his engagement.”
Ah, yes, that person. The one who shall not be mentioned by name. You-know-who. Your ex, who you dated for two years before he got caught by TMZ making out with his co-star at a party and then got so drunk, he fought a bouncer and spent a night in jail. Your ex, who humiliated you so badly, you were the butt of tabloid jokes for months. Your ex, who is now engaged to that very same co-star he had been cheating on you with.
“And, since the songs on your album are all love songs, I think it would be good for you to get a public boyfriend,” Jeonghan continues. “I’ve got an actor who would be good for the job. I managed him a few years ago, before I moved over to the music industry.” 
“I don’t think I’m ready to date someone else in entertainment,” you sigh, slouching back in your seat and pulling your hood up over your head. Your catastrophic breakup had happened a year and a half ago, and had stressed your old manager out so much, he quit and moved to the Florida Keys to become a golf course designer. That’s when your label hired Jeonghan as your new manager. 
Maybe that’s why he’s asking you to date a celebrity. Maybe he just didn’t know how terrible the fallout had been because he wasn’t here for it. You can’t imagine your old manager would have suggested dating publicly after spending a month calling and threatening to sue every tabloid that printed salacious rumors about you. 
Jeonghan glances at you from the corner of his eye. “I’ll make sure it’s someone we can trust not to go off the rails.” Then, he looks back forward and honks aggressively at someone who’s trying to merge into the middle of a stalled left-turn-only lane. “Oh, come on,” he throws up his hands in frustration as the car goes into reverse and inches backward.
“Shouldn’t I date based on my feelings, and not based on what would be a good publicity move?”
“Motherfucker,” Jeonghan hisses under his breath as he’s forced to put the van in reverse to let the car in front try to turn back into his lane. 
“I think it’s a valid question,” you protest, but Jeonghan interrupts by honking again. It’s two more minutes of uttered profanities and inching back and forth before the two of you are once again en route to the studio and Jeonghan remembers your conversation. 
“Oh, you don’t have to actually date him,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You don’t even have to talk to him outside of work if you don’t want to.”
You blink at him, the realization dawning. “You want me to fake date someone?!”
“Yeah, if that’s what you want to call it.”
“No,” you tell him flatly. “This is stupid.”
“It’s genius,” he counters. “It’ll be good to get you on the entertainment rags again before your album is released. More exposure, and it’ll be your first dating news since the incident.”
“Think about it, alright?” He says it in a tone of voice that takes the fight out of you almost immediately. It’s a tone that says I’ve considered the pros and cons and I’ve consulted other industry strategists, and I need you to trust me to help you grow your career, and if you say no, I’ll be seriously bummed out and I’ll hold it over your head every time you complain about the paparazzi yelling questions about your ex at you. 
You watch out the window as Jeonghan makes a turn into a tunnel to underground parking and rolls down the window to scan his security badge at the gate. Your iced americano is down to its last dregs now, a diluted mix of melted ice water and coffee.
“I’ll drop you off at the elevator,” Jeonghan says as he drives through the concrete maze of the underground garage. “Call me when you’re done recording and I’ll pick you up. Try not to go past midnight.”
“Fine, fine,” you put your sunglasses on over your face to hide your dark circles and bare eyebrows. “And also, yes.”
“Hm?” Jeonghan looks up from his phone, where he’s presumably fending off a barrage of texts from Jihoon asking why you’re not at the studio yet.
“The fake dating thing. I’ll do it.”
“Atta girl,” Jeonghan grins. “I knew you’d say yes.”
.
.
.
A few hours later, when it’s 3am and Jeonghan is sitting at the studio with you, sharing a bag of chips and watching reruns of Say Yes To The Dress while Jihoon snores from his couch curled up in a small heap, that’s when a small voice in your head starts to question the plan. 
(Jeonghan didn’t even have to be here. He had dropped off some dinner for you around midnight after guessing correctly that you had skipped the meal, and had just stayed, making unhelpful suggestions and quips to add to Jihoon’s ever-growing chagrin and providing you with moral support just by merit of being there.)
See, the problem about fake dating isn’t just your disastrous history. There’s also the complication of your weird relationship with your manager. With Jeonghan, the lines between professional, personal, and friendly become blurred. 
Jeonghan negotiates your contracts with every ounce of cunning he possesses, he knows everybody who’s anybody in the industry, he gives you advice on your career, he dots your i’s and crosses your t’s. If you were any more sentimental, you’d call him your guardian angel. 
But there’s also the way he laughs at your jokes even when they’re not funny, and when he texts you at 3am complaining about the plot twist in the drama you’re both watching, and the comfortable way the two of you settle into each other’s sides after a long day of work and complain together about all the terrible people you’ve been forced to deal with. 
He’s only been your manager for a year, but you think you could have been friends your whole life, because being with Jeonghan is easy. Comfortable. He’s your closest friend, the person who’s always on the top of your mind. You’re not quite sure why, but dating someone else, even if it’s fake, just feels wrong for some reason. 
“Jihoon said he’d be asleep for fifteen minutes,” Jeonghan glances at the sleeping figure in the corner of the room, “but he’s been napping for almost an hour now. Don’t you think we should just end recording for today and continue another time?”
“Don’t wanna wake him,” you mumble as the girl on the screen tries on a truly hideous dress made up of mesh and crystals, “I think he’d bite my hand off.”
“Let’s just leave him here.” Jeonghan has that glint in his eye, the one that shows up when he decides to be evil. “Vernon is supposed to be here at 9 to work on final mixing for his new track. Jihoon will definitely still be passed out by then.”
You had promised to wake Jihoon up after his fifteen minute power nap so the two of you could finish recording this song, the last track on your upcoming album, but something about the way Jeonghan grins makes you giggle and nod. You take his hand and, laughing in hushed whispers, the two of you sneak out of the studio. In the back of your mind, you wonder if this is what it would have felt like to have friends.
.
.
.
Your first meeting with your new boyfriend is also effectively your public announcement, which is strange and disorienting, and you’ll undoubtedly complain to Jeonghan about it later. 
Joshua Hong is attractive, almost unrealistically so, a respectable actor with a leading role in the latest chain of generic superhero movies, painfully polite, and completely bland, to no fault of his own. Perhaps this is what Jeonghan meant when he said he’d find you someone he trusts not to go off the rails.
“I can’t have any carbs,” Joshua says, rather dejectedly, as he picks at the boxed chicken salad in his lap. “I’m supposed to be shirtless on the cover of Men’s Health next month and all I’ve eaten this week is chicken breast and arugula.”
The two of you are seated in his convertible with the top down, parked on the side of a street of a random neighborhood in Calabasas. It’s out of the way enough for the act to be convincing, but you also know that Jeonghan had called a few contacts to tip off the press to your location. 
“What, no dressing, no other salad accoutrement?” The ice in your coffee clinks noisily as you swirl the cup. 
“Seungcheol would kill me if he saw me eating carbs,” Joshua responds sadly. 
“Oh, he’s my trainer too! I wonder why I haven’t seen you around at the gym,” you say, more to make conversation than anything. (You know why you don’t see him around at the gym— you don’t ever work out when you’re supposed to.)
“Seungcheol is insane,” Joshua complains, “I had half a charcuterie board last week and he somehow knew. I can’t help myself, I haven’t had cheese in weeks.”
“Cheese is the spice of life,” you nod. Glancing over at his well-muscled body threatening to bust out of his thin cotton tee, you shrug. “Looks like it’s paying off, though.” 
“Thanks,” Joshua beams. “No offense, but you’re not what I was expecting.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, putting down your coffee in the cup holder, “it’s what I get for having terrible taste in men, their reputation rubs off.”
The actor nods sympathetically. “Jeonghan used to be my manager, before he moved over to the music business, but he roped me into this because he said I needed to change my image. Apparently I’m too boring.”
“What, and is dating me supposed to make you into a bad boy?” You scoff.
“I guess,” he shrugs. “I don’t really care what the media thinks of me, but Jeonghan’s convinced that he can turn me into an international sex symbol if I roughen up my image a bit. He’s not even my manager anymore.”
“Yeah, but he’s probably right,” you respond as you check your makeup in the side mirror of Joshua’s convertible. After all, you’re on camera. “He’s way too smart. At first, I didn’t think he’d make a good manager, because the industry is insane, but he really surprised me. He’s so sweet and caring, and just so nice, that I didn’t expect him to be so clever too.”
“Hmm, I guess you can call it that.” Joshua gives you a strange look that you can’t quite decipher. 
“What are you talking about? He’s like, the smartest person I know.” 
“Right,” the actor beside you says slowly, “and you think he’s nice?”
“Of course!” You sit up straight and look at him with wide eyes. “I mean, I get that people think he wouldn’t be, because he’s so good at what he does. But he’s genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. He might be the best friend I’ve ever had since I started working.”
Joshua frowns. “Weren’t you a child star?”
You wave your hand. “Yeah, yeah, I know singing on Disney Channel as a kid might have influenced my perception of what having real friends is like, but I promise, I’m a lot more well adjusted now that my name’s been dragged through the mud and I’ve spent the past year as a recluse. And Jeonghan really is a good friend.”
“Hmm,” Joshua hums again, looking like he’s itching to say something but holding it back. “Alright,” he says with an expression that he clearly thinks doesn’t look suspicious (isn’t he an actor?), “whatever you say.”
It’s unsettling, but you’re not about to get into it. “Whatever,” you sigh, “TMZ is hiding around that corner in the gray Toyota, and they think they’re being sneaky. Should we just start making out so we can call it a good day of work?”
“Oh, sure,” Joshua says, putting down his chicken salad and taking a big swig of water to wash it all down. You curl your fingers around the back of his neck and ruffle his hair affectionately to make the act more convincing. “I’ve been told I’m a pretty good kisser, so I hope I don’t disappoint.”
“Shut up,” you grin, leaning forward and connecting your lips with his.
(True to his word, he is a good kisser, and doesn’t taste at all like chicken salad.)
.
.
.
“Joshua Hong and Y/N L/N caught having a steamy makeout session in Calabasas,” Jeonghan reads off his phone screen the next day. “Wow, it took a bit longer than I expected, but it’s finally up.”
You groan, leaning forward to brace your hands on your knees while you gulp lungfuls of air. Your personal trainer, Seungcheol, looks up from his phone. “Don’t you have two more sets? And,” he points at Jeonghan’s phone, “is this real?”
“No, it’s for publicity,” Jeonghan replies, still scrolling. “I convinced them to fake a relationship. It’ll be good for their careers.”
“Huh,” Seungcheol shoots Jeonghan a suspicious frown full of thinly veiled worry. You have half a mind to demand an explanation for that look, but then again, Seungcheol and Jeonghan are always giving each other suspicious looks.
“Seungcheol, If I do another lunge, I’ll die and then it’ll all be for nothing,” you pant.
“I thought you said you wanted thighs strong enough to crush a watermelon,” Seungcheol raises his eyebrows at you.
“Keep it up, kiddo,” Jeonghan says distractedly as he scrolls through his twitter feed, brows knotted. The two men are seated comfortably on the floor, leaning against a mirrored wall while you rapidly approach death. “You’re the one who signed up for this, remember?”
“No,” you collapse to the ground dejectedly, spreading your arms and legs out. The ceiling looks so pretty. “I don’t remember.”
“Didn’t J—that person,” Seungcheol cuts himself off before he can say the name, “didn’t his new fiancé crush a watermelon between her thighs on TV and become a trending topic for a whole week?”
You blink at the ceiling. Suddenly, you’re not on the edge of death anymore. “Fine,” you huff, pulling yourself up, “two more sets, Seungcheol, and then I’m collapsing and dying.”
“Can’t die,” Jeonghan says as you start your lunges again, “because the buzz around you and Joshua is huge. ‘So glad she’s finally found love again’,” he reads out loud, “‘biggest plot twist of the decade’, ‘omg what an upgrade’, ‘I’m losing my mind at the video’, ‘I’d sell my kidneys for Joshua Hong to kiss me like that’. Huh? There’s a video?”
Jeonghan squints at his phone screen. From beside him, Seungcheol reaches out and flicks a few times before clicking on something. “There,” Seungcheol says. “I guess there’s a video.”
You immediately abandon your workout again (ignoring the look that Seungcheol gives you) and rush over to Jeonghan’s other side to peer over his shoulder at his phone screen. There, you see footage watermarked with the tabloid logo, taken from a good distance away, of you and Joshua sitting in his convertible. 
The cameraman zooms intensely and after a few seconds of shakiness, you see yourself in HD, chatting with Joshua and laughing at something he says. The two of you chat some more, and then you see yourself casually putting your hand on the back of his head and pulling him in for a kiss, which progresses quicker and more than you remember.
You feel your cheeks heat up. “Oh,” you say dumbly. “I forgot we literally made out in public.”
“How do you forget something like that,” Seungcheol says in mild disbelief. He reaches over and taps the replay button. “You were practically on his lap.”
Shrugging half heartedly, you wipe away a few beads of sweat from your forehead, motivation to work out now completely gone. “In my defense, he’s a good kisser. And he has huge muscles that I enjoyed touching.”
“You could have huge muscles too,” Seungcheol says, “if you worked out more.”
“No thanks,” you respond quickly. 
“Alright, fine,” he concedes finally, “come on. I’ll help you stretch and we can finish up.”
“Oh thank god,” you breathe a sigh of relief. “Jeonghan, do I have any more schedules today, or can I just go home and watch TV for the rest of the day?”
Your manager stares at his phone screen blankly, not responding.
“Jeonghan? Hello?” You wave your hand in front of his face and he jumps, hitting the power button on his phone so he’s just staring at a dark screen. 
“O-oh, right, sorry,” he puts his phone in his pocket and rubs the back of his head sheepishly, “I zoned out there for a moment. Um. What was your question?”
You stare at him. “Do I have any other schedules today?”
“Oh. No, you’re free to do whatever you want,” he replies.
“Great, do you want to get ice cream with me after this?” You grin brightly, ignoring Seungcheol’s long-suffering sigh. 
“Yeah, sure,” Jeonghan replies, still sounding distracted. “Whatever you want.”
.
.
.
Casting Joshua as your co-star in your music video was a no-brainer, a move that doesn’t take a genius to figure out. And you don’t object, because as you discover, Joshua is an easy-going person and enjoyable to be around. You enjoy hanging out with him so much, the two of you start texting and talking outside of just the staged “dates” for the public eye. 
You’re texting him from your chair while you get your hair and makeup done, despite the fact that he’s doing the same in the next room over, when Jeonghan arrives with your iced coffee.
“Thank god,” you put your phone in your lap and reach out for your drink. “You’re the best, Jeonghan.”
“I know,” he says as he automatically holds a hand over the top of your drink while your hairstylist sprays your entire head with hairspray. “You’re going to do great today,” he adds. “You look perfect.”
“Thanks,” you beam. Somehow, compliments from Jeonghan always feel real. Yes, he’s a good liar, manipulative and cunning, but he’s kind, and when it matters, he’s sincere in an industry where nearly nobody else is. 
“And, I heard back from NBC,” he adds on, patting your shoulder, “you’re confirmed to be the musical guest on the first episode of the next season of SNL. Perfect timing, if I may say so myself because you’ll be in New York right after the album drops. I’m going to try to get you some good talk show interviews booked also.”
“You’re amazing,” you tell him between sips of coffee. “Just, please—“
“Not Fallon,” Jeonghan finishes your sentence, reading your mind. “You got it.”
Your hairstylist gives you one final spray down before unclipping your cape and ushering you out of your chair. She grabs her bag and spray bottle and hurries out of the dressing room, telling you that she needs to do your co-star’s hair and that you can head over to the set now, before leaving you and Jeonghan alone. 
Taking one last sip of coffee, you inspect yourself in the mirror. You’re dressed in what’s essentially lingerie, wrapped in a gauzy robe trimmed with enormous feather boas. It’s head-to-toe ostentatious glamor, save for the bunny slippers you have on your feet.
“Jeonghan, can you help me put on my boots? I don’t think I can bend over without passing out in this outfit,” you admit. 
“Yeah, sure thing,” he says, taking your cup from your hand and setting it on the vanity next to him. “Sit,” he orders.
You do, kicking off your comfortable slippers and grimacing at the shoes in front of you, a pair of high heeled leather boots that go all the way to your thighs. “Can you make sure I never have to perform in those?”
Jeonghan lowers himself to a squat in front of you and raises his eyebrows while he helps you slip your foot into the first boot. “You’ve danced in worse.”
“Yeah, and I’m not a teenager anymore. I don’t have anything to prove, or a Disney Channel image to lose.” You shove your foot into the second boot, already feeling strain in your ankles. 
“Stand,” Jeonghan orders, and you do, turning around so he can fasten the laces that run up the back of the boots. He works quickly, tightening the shiny leather around your legs. “And you’re right about not needing to prove anything, but I know you’re going to like how you look in these and insist on wearing them on tour.”
Already admiring how they complement the shape of your legs, you burst into laughter. “You know me too well,” you grin. 
“Of course I do, I’m your friend, not just your manager,” he says, hands moving to the back of your left thigh. His warm skin brushes against yours as he ties the laces and tucks them away inside the boot so the ends stay hidden, and you suppress a shiver.
Jeonghan moves on to your other leg, methodically tugging and adjusting the laces until he makes his way up to the very top. Once again, his fingers are warm against your skin, brushing against your inner thigh as he tucks the laces away inside the boot. “You’re done,” he says, standing up behind you. 
“Thanks,” you say, turning around, coming face to face with him, and suddenly you can’t breathe.
You’re standing really close to him— so close, you could count each individual eyelash framing his dark eyes. He’s so beautiful, bare faced with dark circles under his eyes and hyperpigmentation on his cheek and redness under his nose, so beautiful with his delicately curved lips and large eyes that droop at the ends. You want to kiss him, you realize. 
Instead, you brush away a few strands of blond hair from his eyes and tuck them behind his ear. 
“Thanks,” he murmurs, his pink lips parting around the words as he leans into your touch.
“W-we should go,” you step backwards, suddenly panicking. Where did that come from? You can’t kiss him, he’s your manager. And, you already have a boyfriend, even if it’s fake. You can’t be caught kissing someone else, especially not Jeonghan.
Turning, you furiously try to calm your racing pulse as you walk down the hallway, heels clicking on the linoleum flooring. 
As soon as you step onto the set, you squawk at the sight of your co-star. 
“Joshua! Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?!”
Joshua turns away from the makeup artist doing some last minute touch ups and as soon as he sees you, his face brightens to a smile. “Oh, hi! The stylist told me to just not bother with the jacket,” he gestures towards a leather jacket hanging on a rack to the side. “Hope you’re okay with it.”
“You’re not wearing a shirt,” you say incredulously, staring at his defined abs and oiled pecs in morbid fascination. How is a body like that even real? How long has it been since he last had a drink of water? Anything to eat other than chicken breast and lettuce? 
“And you’re not wearing pants,” he points out, “but you don’t see me complaining.”
“I’m not complaining,” your voice raises into a squeak. You’re still frazzled from your earlier experience with Jeonghan, every muscle in your body tense, and you can’t help the slightly hysterical tone your voice takes. “It’s fine,” you huff, stepping into the powder pink bedroom set. “Where do you want me, director?”
The director responds into the mic, the sound echoing in the large lot, “you’ll be on the bed, straddling Joshua Hong, singing at him. We’ll start at the second pre-chorus.”
You exhale through your nose, remembering the racy lyrics. Something about falling into bed and giving it to you all night long. It’s bad enough that the internet is definitely going to dig into the music video and lyrics and come out with the conclusion that the song is about banging your fake boyfriend (when in fact the song was written in your pajamas while solving a jigsaw puzzle on Jihoon’s desk), but now you have to rub up against Joshua, half naked, immediately after nearly having a breakdown over how much you want to kiss Jeonghan.
How are you going to pull off a scene with Joshua when all you can think about is the curve of Jeonghan’s lips? “Did you bring my coffee—“ you turn in search of your manager, but before you can finish your sentence, you’re being ushered into position by a PA. 
When you glance back again, Jeonghan is already gone. His absence immediately puts you on edge. He usually always stays to monitor your music video shoots, but now that he’s not here, despite the flurry of activity and chatter all around you, you’re suddenly feeling very alone.
.
.
.
(When the music video drops and the internet collectively loses its mind over his body, Joshua takes you out to a celebratory dinner. “My treat,” he says, lifting a champagne flute in the air and tilting his head in your direction, “as thanks for having me in that music video and apparently turning me into a sex symbol overnight.”
Jeonghan was right, you think. But then again, he usually is.)
.
.
.
It’s been a while since the last time you wrote a love song. A real love song, not just a bubbly poppy chart-topper.
You’re alone in your hotel suite in New York when it comes to you, at 4 am, tipsy after the SNL taping and associated after parties. Jeonghan had been with you all night, backstage at Studio 8H, in the wings while you performed the top songs off your new album, at your side through the afterparty and the significantly rowdier after-afterparty.
The first time you performed on SNL, you had been the host and musical guest. Fresh out of your Disney Channel days, your manager at the time had pressured you to adopt a more mature image as soon as you had turned eighteen. You don’t remember most of the night, and sometimes the question of what had happened at the drug-fueled afterparty still keeps you up at night. The following year, you had spent your nineteenth birthday in rehab, and as soon as you got out, you had fired your old manager, cut ties with your mother, and switched to Vernon’s record label.
But tonight, the whole time, you felt safe with Jeonghan at your side, invited at your insistence. He didn’t even have to do anything. Just knowing his presence was near was enough for you. In fact, you weren’t even sure where he was for most of the party, undoubtedly off mingling and networking. But, the second you caught a glimpse of the lines of cocaine on the surface of a mirror, Jeonghan had appeared at your side like a physical reminder to you that you’ve already done your time, paid your dues to the entertainment gods, filled the cup with your blood and tears and managed to claw your way out of the pit in the end. You wonder how much Jeonghan knows about your past, the person you used to be. He undoubtedly knows enough, considering the fact that most of your teen years were on camera, whether it was the sanitized teen idol on Disney or the classic Hollywood tragedy on TMZ.
(“Loving you makes me human again.”)
There’s a pad of hotel stationary on your bed and a cheap pen stolen from the NBC studios in your hand. The sheet of paper in front of you is covered in a barely legible scrawl, a mess of underlines and circles and arrows that’s too incomprehensible for your sober self to decipher, but just right for your drunk self.
Your guitar is in your lap and you pick through the chords clumsily, but you know it’s a good song. Jihoon will have thoughts later, notes on the lyrics and a pending rearrangement, but right now, drunk, head full of thoughts of Jeonghan, you just know that it’s a good song. 
(“I love you, you, you, it’s you, it’s you.”)
Where did the song come from? How much did you drink tonight? Will you remember this in the morning? You just know that you can’t forget this song when daylight comes and wipes the memories of the night from your drunken mind. 
You prop your phone up on the nightstand and sit, cross-legged on the hotel bed as you open Instagram and start a live.
.
.
.
Y/N L/N surprises fans on Instagram Live after SNL taping, you read the headline blearily, trying to remember exactly what you did the night before. The star went on Instagram Live at 5am this morning and played a 20-second snippet of a never-before-heard heartfelt love song before ending the live with no other commentary. Fans are gushing over the romantic lyrics and speculating about the release of an upcoming album. Either way, one thing’s for sure— Y/N and Joshua Hong are going strong and better than ever!
“Oh my god,” you groan, collapsing backward in your hotel bed. “What did I do?”
What you did: 1. Write a love song. (1A. Write a love song while thinking about Jeonghan) 2. Go on Instagram Live while still drunk. 3. Sing the aforementioned song for the whole world to hear. 
And, of course, everything continues to go according to Jeonghan’s plan, and the world is now even more convinced that you’re head over heels (tits over ass) in love with Joshua Hong.
.
.
.
The thing about being a child star is that, now as an adult, you have a very tenuous grasp of normal human relationships. When you were fourteen and a teen star, your mother had told you that if you were caught drinking coffee with milk and sugar, you'd be banned from appearing on TV forever. Years later, you realized it was because she didn't want you gaining weight as you drudged through the toxic wasteland of puberty, but to this day, you've never had a latte.
Maybe child stars all grow into either fucked up trainwrecks or incomprehensibly strange but well-adjusted recluses. You certainly hope you're growing into the latter, despite a few years veering dangerously towards the former.
Sometimes, you're surprised by how well-adjusted and normal Vernon Chwe is, despite his eccentricity. After all, he started in the entertainment industry even younger than you did, appearing in advertisements and children's programming before he even knew how to read his scripts. He had also been a Disney Channel star, and had played your opposite lead in a ridiculously successful teen musical movie (and its two sequels and made for TV holiday spinoff). The two of you had dated back then, too, because you were young and easily carried away, and Vernon was also young and just wanted to go with the flow. In retrospect, that breakup had, at the tender age of seventeen, been the one to kick off your series of disastrous and extremely public breakups.
(Vernon still sends you flowers every year with an apology for accidentally dumping you on stage and then leaving for Australia for a year the very next day.)
These days, Vernon spends most of his days with his four cats in his massive LA mansion tending to the organic garden plot he has in the backyard. Every once in a while, he'll drop a mixtape on Soundcloud. On even rarer occasions, he'll appear in a random nightclub wearing the ugliest outfit you've ever seen and invariably wearing sunglasses indoors at night, and he'll absolutely destroy a set, practically lighting the place on fire in all senses except literal. Pitchfork named him one of the best rappers of the generation, if only he weren't such a staunch anti-celebrity.
Today, you're spending an afternoon with Vernon in hopes that his normal and well-adjusted brain function will rub off on you a little bit and maybe help sort out your feelings.
It's bee day, and Vernon is suited up like the world's chillest astronaut, blowing hazy white smoke at the large wooden box that holds the beehive. You're also suited up in protective gear, but you're cowering significantly further away.
"I'm inspecting the hive for parasites and diseases," he explains calmly, moving slowly and deliberately as he sets the smoker down and takes the lid off the hive. "The smoke chills them out so they don't react aggressively. Don't worry, they won't sting you."
"Sure," you nod, not budging from your spot behind a trellis heavy with squash flowers. You can practically feel the inside of your suit filling with sweat as the hot California sun beats down on you, but Vernon insisted on having this conversation while tending to the bees. "So, about that question I had."
"Hmm?" Vernon lifts one of the wooden frames from the box to peer at the honeycomb contained within.
"You know, what we were talking about. What I should do if I think I really like someone."
"I don't think you need my advice for that," he responds drily as he replaces the frame and lifts out the next one.
"What are you talking about?"
"Um." Vernon holds the wooden frame in his hands and turns to look at you. "Joshua Hong?"
"Oh, that," you wave your hand, "he's not really my boyfriend. We're just fake dating for clout."
"What?!" Even from behind his veil, you can see his eyes widening. You nod emphatically, and Vernon shakes his head in disbelief as he turns back towards the hive to replace the honey comb in his hand. “That’s wild, dude.”
"The problem is, I don't know if I've ever had real feelings. Or, like, a normal relationship with anybody. No offense to you, Vernon."
He bobs his head in a way that silently communicates none taken, not bothering to turn around while he continues to inspect the hive.
You continue. “And I don’t think I know how to tell if someone likes me. Like, you know how it is, Vernon, better than anybody else. What if I make a move and then it’s all just… fake? Or if it ends up like all the other times? Or if he doesn’t care about me? I’m worried that my meter for human relationships and sincerity is just broken, and there’s no amount of therapy that can fix it. I’m trying to think of a strategic next step but it’s like I’m flying blind.”
"So," he says, "is your problem that you're in love with Joshua Hong, but the entire relationship is fake, and now you want to make it real?"
"What? No," you snort, furrowing your brows. "Josh is nice, but I'm not into him like that. It’s… someone else.”
"The plot thickens," Vernon says under his breath, voice heavy with irony and quietly enough that you think that maybe you weren't supposed to hear.
You bite back a snippy remark. “Vernon, please, I’m in distress. This is a person I can’t lose. He’s special, really.”
“Hmm,” he responds helpfully. Vernon seemingly finishes inspecting his hives and, after rubbing the wooden lid like you would a puppy’s head, he turns and starts heading back toward the house. 
“Do you have ice cream?” You trudge through the thick summer air after him, feeling like you’re caught in one of those dreams where you’re running through molasses. “I think I’m approaching death.”
“No,” Vernon replies. He slides open the large glass door leading back into the house, waiting for you to enter before closing it behind him with a quiet click. 
As soon as you get indoors, safe from the bees (that you love and support in their pollination efforts but only from a distance), you almost rip the beekeeper’s hat off your head, nearly moaning when you feel the air conditioning hit your sticky skin. “What, no ice cream?” You hurriedly shed yourself of the white cotton jumpsuit and toss it in a pile on the floor next to where Vernon has left his hat. 
The slick marble tiles are deliciously cold against your skin. You spread yourself out on the floor, trying to make as much contact with the tile beneath you as possible. 
“No ice cream,” Vernon says, confirming your fears. “We can order some if you want, though.”
“How do you survive this?” The ceiling looks lovely right now. 
Vernon shrugs. He’s still removing his gear, evidently in no hurry. “Sometimes you just gotta deal with stuff to be happy. Like, not that you should suffer just for suffering’s sake, but you know. If you don’t do anything, nothing will ever happen, right?” 
Vernon joins you on the floor, sitting cross-legged beside you, his head looming over you. 
Tilting your face to the side, you make eye contact with the underside of Vernon’s chin and the bottom of his nostrils. “If you don’t do anything, nothing will ever happen,” you repeat, shifting your glance back up at the ceiling.
“Yeah. Like the bees, they give me honey and pollinate my garden and the surrounding plants and stuff, right? And that makes me happy. But they make me happy because I take care of them, even when it’s terrible outside. There’s wild bees out there but they don’t make me as happy. Same with those giant zucchinis.” He suddenly pauses and peers down at you. “Did I tell you that I got rid of my staff? I only have cleaners once a week now. I’m downsizing. Kinda wanna sell this house and move to Seattle, but I’ve invested too much emotionally on the garden and I don’t want some B-list TV actor ripping it up after I move out.”
“The zucchinis,” you prompt.
“Ah, right. So yeah, I got rid of my chef. But before I did that, I could just go and ask him to buy me the biggest, fattest, thickest zucchini. Two c’s, both in the thicc-ness and the zucchini. But anyways, it wouldn’t make me as happy as a medium sized zucchini that I grew. And sometimes the zucchinis are small or get eaten by squirrels, but that’s just how things go. Either you do stuff, and risk getting disappointing zucchinis but maybe also huge zucchinis, or you don’t do stuff, and you don’t get zucchinis at all.”
“Hmm,” you tell him in response as you absorb his words. This is probably the most you’ve ever heard him speak. “Um. Thanks, Vernon. I’m glad you’re living your best life now.”
“Do you want some strawberries?” Your friend is unshakeable. 
“It’s Jeonghan, by the way,” you tell him, still staring upward at the ceiling.
Vernon’s jaw drops and his eyes grow comically wide. “Oh,” he brings his fist up to his mouth in a caricature of surprise, “dang!”
.
.
.
“Woo! Way to go, Josh,” you shout half heartedly over your canned sparkling wine from the beach, a towel over your head and shoulders and comically large sunglasses shielding your face, as Joshua tumbles off his surfboard and into the salty waves.
The two of you are spending a weekend in La Jolla. Ever the optimistic LA born and bred SoCal boy, Joshua had attempted to teach you how to surf. The lesson had lasted about an hour, before you got tired of falling off and getting saltwater up your nose, and by then, your thighs and abs were way too sore for any other physical activity, so you had to plead him off your case lest you die of an exercise-induced heart attack. 
Joshua emerges from the waves two minutes later, shaking water from his hair and carrying his surfboard under a well-muscled arm, jogging up the beach like a character on Baywatch. You’d have to be stupid to throw away a boy who’s practically the Poseidon of the southern California coast, but perhaps you are just that. 
He runs his hand through his wet hair, pushing it back like he’s modeling for a perfume commercial, as he falls to his butt beside you, sending a spray of sand your way. 
“Man, I’m beat,” he pants, grabbing a bottle of water from your bag and uncapping it. “It’s been a while since I last hit the waves.”
“You looked cool doing it,” you tell him while he gulps down the entire contents of the water bottle in one go. “Like David Hasselhoff himself. You’re a walking talking SoCal stereotype.”
“Yeah, I know,” he shrugs nonchalantly.
The beach is relatively secluded, backing into rocky cliffs that are dotted with sagebrush, but it’s not completely private. There are two or three other surfers further out in the water, riding out the raw ocean swells, tiny spots of black against endless gray-blue. You can count the number of beach goers on the white coral sand on one hand. 
Half out of obligation, you settle a hand on Joshua’s shoulder and lean over him, pushing him over onto the sand to kiss him. You feel his grip on your arms as he settles the two of you into a more comfortable position for cuddling. Joshua tastes like the sea, like endless summer, like sunlight. Kissing Joshua is comfortable— he’s sweet and considerate and never moves too quickly. 
Joshua Hong is the perfect boyfriend. He’d be the perfect boyfriend to someone else, someone who deserves it more.
His warm, sand-roughened hands move up your arms slowly as the two of you kiss. Despite yourself, you can’t help but to let your mind wander. What do you deserve? Do you deserve a to-go cup of iced coffee every morning, just the way you like it? Do you deserve late nights and late mornings, quiet humming in the car, the most sincere compliments you’ve heard in your entire life? That intense, quiet, unwavering loyalty? What do you have to do to deserve Jeonghan?
And then it hits you, and then in an instant, you know what you need to do, according to Vernon Chwe’s Zucchini Theory of Personal Fulfillment.
“Oh my god,” you push away from Joshua, staring wide-eyed as recognition washes over you. “I get it now.”
“Huh?” He looks confused, but otherwise unbothered.
“The zucchinis, I get it,” you pull yourself up into a seated position.
Joshua squints at you. “Zucchinis?”
“I thought Vernon had just been high that day, but it makes sense now.” You turn and stare directly into Joshua’s eyes, voice bordering on frantic as the cogs and wheels in your brain spin. “We need to break up, Josh. Right now.”
“What are you talking about?” If he furrows his brows and squints any harder, he’ll turn into a caricature of the Grinch who stole Coachella.
“We need to break up, because if you never do anything, nothing will happen,” you tell him. “You gotta do things, even if there’s a possibility that your zucchinis will end up being small and gross.”
Joshua waves his hand in front of your face, but you push his arm away, undeterred.
“We need to break up, because I need to tell Jeonghan that I’m in love with him!”
He stares at you for a second. “Oh my god, he doesn’t know?!”
This time, it’s your turn to squint at Joshua. “What are you talking about?”
The actor throws his hands up in exasperation. “I thought he knew— I thought something had happened between the two of you, and that’s why he reached out about this. I mean, fake dating for publicity? How does that make sense at all?”
“Knew what?” 
“It’s obvious that the two of you are crazy for each other,” Joshua sighs. “I mean, most people don’t sleep over at their manager’s house when they’re feeling lonely, or insist that their managers are invited to every party, or even really text their manager outside of work. Your relationship is clearly more than just a manger-artist relationship.”
You blink at him, still trying to absorb the first sentence. “We’re crazy for each other?”
Joshua nods emphatically. “You don’t see the way Jeonghan looks at you?”
And then, another thought comes to you. You remember the way he disappeared at your music video shoot and the way he looks to the side whenever Joshua puts his hand around your waist and his lips on your cheek at a red carpet event. You remember the way he always seems distracted whenever your relationship with Joshua ends up on the headlines. Have you been unintentionally making him jealous this whole time?
“I have to go,” you scramble to your feet in a panic.
“I’m your ride,” Joshua reminds you, “and we need to hike back up the cliffs.” He points at the face of dark stone that’s now blazing with fiery light from the setting sun. You remember the grueling steep path down the cliffs, and you feel the dull ache in your muscles from your failed attempt at surfing.
“God,” you put your face in your hands, “can I have a single week without any physical exertion?“
.
.
.
When Joshua drops you off back in LA, the first thing you do is stop by the Starbucks around the corner from Jeonghan’s apartment building.
Your clothes are stiff from the salty spray of the Pacific Ocean and your hair bears the marks of a failed battle with the waves, and you’re definitely being recognized left and right, if the stares and decidedly non-sneaky phone pictures are any indication, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You order two lattes, one for yourself and one for Jeonghan.
At the toppings station, you add a reasonable amount of sugar to Jeonghan’s latte. Then, to yours, you add a healthy portion of sugar, and then some cinnamon and cocoa powder for some good measure. You stir with one of the wooden stirring sticks until you can’t feel any grit at the bottom of the cup anymore, then you replace the lid and walk out of the Starbucks, down the street, around the corner, and into Jeonghan’s apartment complex.
When you get up to his floor, you have the courtesy to at least knock a few times first, and then after hearing some rustling and a quiet irritated groan from inside the apartment, you bring out your spare key and unlock the door anyway. 
Jeonghan stares at you with an unamused deadpan on his face. He’s sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table, which holds a half-finished massive Lego model of a NASA space shuttle. “Aren’t you supposed to be spending the weekend with Joshua?”
You don’t answer your question as you step into the apartment and kick off your shoes, scattering a few grains of sand on his entryway mat. “Here,” you take a seat opposite to him, crossing your legs under the coffee table as you hand him his latte. “I got coffee.”
This time, Jeonghan actually does look surprised. “I thought you didn’t like milk and sugar with your coffee.”
“I’ve never tried it before,” you respond.
Jeonghan blinks at you. “What?”
“When I was fourteen,” you tell him, setting your tan-colored latte on the table in front of you, “my mom told me that if I had milk and sugar in my coffee, I’d get fat and I’d never get casted again. I believed her, of course, because I was fourteen and was afraid I’d lose my dream, just like that. I was still on the Disney Channel, appearing on TV every week, and had been on a strict diet since I was ten.”
“Oh.”  Your manager’s face shifts completely, and suddenly he’s not your manager anymore, but just Jeonghan, your friend. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“I’ve been thinking about my fucked up childhood a lot,” you tell him. “I don’t think anybody really deserves what I went through, inherently, just based on their existence. So I’m trying this new thing where I do things that’ll make me happy, not because it’s expected of me, or because it’s what I should be doing.”
Jeonghan nods, smiling encouragingly. 
“So that’s why I’m here with lattes,” you tell him. You raise your cup and lift the opening of the straw to your lips, and take a single tentative sip. 
“Good?”
It’s way too sweet. You know you went overboard with the sugar and toppings, and the cocoa powder isn’t completely dissolved and leaves a film of grit on your tongue, but it’s still good. The acidity of the coffee is mellowed by the milk fat and the final product is smooth, delicious even.
Just the fact that milk and coffee combined is delicious is, strangely, the final push you need. After all, just a few minutes ago, the simple act of putting milk in your coffee had been paramount to a sin, an indulgence that you didn’t deserve, but the latte in your hands is good and you enjoy it. There’s a lot more that you didn’t think you deserved, that you had been too afraid to chase, that might also be good, that you might also enjoy.
“Josh and I broke up,” you blurt out.
Jeonghan’s eyes widen in alarm, and he reaches for his phone, undoubtedly to look up whatever headlines there may be. You stop him with a quick hand on his arm. “In private. I mean, we agreed to stop dating. Or fake dating,” you amend. 
There’s a pause as Jeonghan stops and thinks, undoubtedly planning the media hailstorm that’s about to come when Hollywood’s darling it-couple announces its dissolution. 
“Stop thinking, I don’t care about the media, or my reputation. It didn’t feel right. To be fake dating when I have real feelings.”
The thing about Jeonghan is that he’s good at navigating Hollywood and dealing with celebrities and record labels and media. He wears a placid expression that’s near-indecipherable, a poker face that he never drops. You know it’s a poker face, and you know he’s guarding himself, but you don’t know what emotion he’s guarding so closely.
“I’m so sorry,” he says quietly. His expression is unreadable, but his words feel sincere. “I wish it could have worked out between you and Joshua. When did you tell him about your feelings?”
You blink at him, surprised by the sudden sympathetic turn to his voice. “Um. Today?”
The corners of Jeonghan’s lips tighten for a split second, pulling into a frown that passes so briefly, you nearly miss it. Then, in a very quiet and very kind voice, he tells you, “the version of you that the world thinks you are is very different from the version of you that I know. You’re brave, the strongest person I know, passionate about your art, and despite everything you’ve been through, you still have so much trust— in me, in Jihoon, in everybody on your team— even though you have no reason to trust us that much. And that says a lot. So, if Joshua can’t see who you really are, behind the persona and celebrity, then he doesn’t deserve your love.”
There it is again, that pull in your chest, your ribs so tight you think you’ll burst. Before Jeonghan, you had just been your name, the headlines and concerts and interviews, a one-time child star turned Hollywood tragedy. But Jeonghan had seen parts of you that you didn’t recognize. Loving him, being loved by him, made you into a whole person. A human, not just a name. 
“You’ll make a really good girlfriend to someone someday. I’m just sorry it couldn’t be Joshua, today.”
And then, like a bubble bursting, you realize what he’s saying. “What?! Jeonghan, it’s you,” you blurt, scrambling up from your cross-legged seated position to lean over the coffee table on your knees. “I love you. I’m in love with you, Jeonghan. It’s you. It’s you,” you say, breathless.
Jeonghan looks at you in disbelief. “But Joshua,” he starts to say.
“You’re the one who said it would have to be fake,” you shake your head in disbelief. “It was your idea.”
“I know,” he says, frowning, “but I had ulterior motives, too.”
“Of course.” You’re still in disbelief. 
“He’s a good match for you. Or so I thought. And it seemed like you were in love with him, genuinely. He made you happy.”
“Because being with friends makes me happy! What are you talking about? Again,” you shake your head again, “may I remind you that it was your idea to fake date Joshua Hong?”
“The song,” Jonghan reminds you. “You wrote an entire song in the middle of the night about how much you love him.”
“The song was for you.” It’s you, it’s you, it’s you. “Every word of it was for you.” Loving you makes me human again. 
Jeonghan is quiet. You know he’s thinking again, that brilliant mind of his working behind his eyes, so you can’t help yourself as you keep on talking.
“I was scared, of rejection, of what would happen if I lost you, the most important person in my life. And I don’t deserve you. At least, that’s what I felt, because I’m a mess, a human disaster, and you know I’m still trying to be better, and you deserve so much more. But then I spoke to Vernon about my feelings, and realized that it’s not up to me to decide what you deserve. And that I don’t have to keep on doing the easy thing, which is to just continue to be the version of me that everybody else expects me to be. You know, perfect Hollywood Barbie doll with her perfect movie star boyfriend, when none of that is true. And, Jeonghan, I love you. I want to be happy. I think I deserve it, and you deserve to know how I feel. And even if you say no, I think it’s still worth telling you.”
You exhale.
Jeonghan reaches toward you and pushes a stray strand of hair from your face. “Can I kiss you,” he whispers.
You nod, your heart in your throat. Nobody’s ever asked you that before, and it’s been years since you’ve last been nervous before a kiss, but right now, you feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. 
Jeonghan’s hand curls around the side of your neck, impossibly gently, as he leans forward and presses his lips to yours. 
It’s a soft, chaste kiss, none of the passion and heat that you’re used to. It’s a first kiss. It’s tentative and unsure. It’s milk and coffee and sugar, quiet smiles, a watchful eye, unconditional respect.
“I love you,” he says quietly in that sincere way that he does. “You have no idea how much I love you.”
And you think you can begin to understand.
There will be lattes. Sugary drinks and desserts. Acoustic songs dropped with no promotions, declined party invites, awards shows spent at home in bed. And Jeonghan will be by your side, and that’s all you could really ever wish for. 
2K notes · View notes
harrytpotter · 4 years
Text
What’s Happening To Me? — OneShot
Plot: James Potter was starting to feel more and more overprotective towards his friend Y/N and considerably annoyed at the blatant flirting she and one of his best friends were displaying publicly and at the thought she might be falling for Sirius. What was happening to him?
Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader.
Word Count: 5,9K.
A/N: I just had revised this long-ass story entirely and was pretty proud at the summary i came up with just for Tumblr to mess up with my post and erase its entire content, only leaving the title behind. Now i can’t remember the previous summary i wrote and am pissed about it. Anyways, I love writing for James and it shows. I won’t revise this again because i really am annoyed at tumblr so apologies in advance for any mistakes! :)
Tumblr media
James tried to concentrate on Slughorn’s voice as the professor went on and on about whatever potion they were going to start working on during next week. He was really doing his best to absorb his words, but an extremely flirty pair beside him was making this task nearly impossible. He knew this was just for show since Sirius wanted to make Marlene jealous and Y/N kindly agreed to help him out, but all of this was still bothering him for some reason. Maybe it was because he knew Sirius way too well to know for sure he was enjoying this situation a little too much. Maybe it was because he cared about Y/N enough to bother if Sirius was going to end up hurting her somehow. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“Merlin, would you two stop? It’s getting annoying,” he hissed at Y/N and Sirius, whom had been all giggly and touchy for the entire class.
“Does it bother you to see a happy couple in love, Prongs?” Sirius teased, barely suppressing a laugh.
“I’m just trying to pay attention to class,” he mumbled annoyed, his fists clenching slightly.
“Don’t be mean to him, Sirius!” Y/N bumped her fist on his arm. “He’s bitter because Lily is still turning him down despite his best efforts,” Y/N looked at James sympathetically as if saying she was sorry for him.
James sighed heavily at the mention of Lily’s name. Sure, it did annoy him that she was still rejecting his attempts of woo her, but, if he was being quite frank, it didn’t bother or frustrate him like it used to. If anything, it just... he didn’t even know anymore. Why he was still chasing her. Why he was still trying to get her to go out with him. It was seeming more and more pointless lately. He wasn’t sure if he was still pinning after her for a purpose or solely for the challenge.
“Earth to James!” Y/N waved her hand in front of James’ eyes. “You there?”
James tilted his head a little so his best friend’s face could enter his visual field. Her y/h/c hair was loose in a messy way that suited her perfectly, matching harmonically her hypnotic y/e/c eyes. She had a natural confidence that seemed to radiate from her body and wrap every single soul in the room. She was truly effortlessly magnetic. James started feeling flustered suddenly, unbeknownst to why.
“You alright there, mate?” Sirius asked with a brow lifted, staring at him.
“Never better, Pads!” James shot a cocky grin his way, brushing off the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
James fell unusually quiet for the short rest of the class, his mind flickering between Y/N and Sirius and Lily. Everything just seemed so... out of place right now. He didn’t even notice Slughorn dismissing the class until Y/N tapped gently on his shoulder.
“Are you coming, Jamesy?” She asked, Sirius wrapping her against his chest. “Everyone else is already gone.”
“Sure...” James mumbled, still a little airy. His eyes wandered from Sirius’ tight grip around Y/N to her hand gently holding his wrist as her thumb caressed his skin lightly.
“Hurry up, Prongs! We can’t be late for lunch, I have a special surprise for my love here,” Sirius lifted Y/N’s chin gently whilst staring devilishly into her eyes.
James once again felt the same unsettling feeling he did before in the pit of his stomach when he noticed a subtle pink tone brushing through Y/N’s cheeks for a split second as she stared dumbfounded at Sirius.
“You two realize Marlene isn’t even here anymore to witness your annoying flirt, don’t you?” James asked his friends grumpily.
“Would you lighten up for Merlin’s sake, Prongs? Love is never annoying!” Sirius winked at him.
“Love might not be but you certainly are, darling,” Y/N retorted teasingly at Sirius, who took his free hand to his chest in mock offense.
“I usually grow on people, do you know that? Don’t you be so quick on biting the hand that feeds you,” he winged his brows at their amused female friend.
“You really are a complete prat, Sirius Black!” Y/N rolled her eyes with a large grin.
They were so invested on teasing each other that they had seemingly forget about James’ presence. The Gryffindor Quidditch captain spat an annoyed goodbye at his friends before storming off the classroom.
Y/N frowned and mentioned to follow James, but Sirius quickly grabbed her gently by the arm, stopping her from doing so.
“What are you doing? We have to go check on him! Haven’t you noticed how annoyed he left?” She lifted a brow at the grey-eyed boy.
“I did, indeed. But I also have noticed that he seems a little too annoyed at us lately, specially at me,” he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.
“Your point? He’s probably still frustrated at his last unsuccessful attempt of wooing Lily,” Y/N sighed.
“Oh, love, believe me, this has nothing to do with Lily. I know Prongs way too well, better than he knows himself, if I may add.”
“Are you implying he’s in love with you?” Y/N exploded in a loud laugh. “Of course it has to do with Lily. It always has something to do with Lily.”
Sirius narrowed his eyes whilst a mischievous grin took over his face. Y/N did a pretty good job in hiding her annoyance when she mentioned Lily’s name, but Sirius could read his y/h/c friend like an open book. He noticed it.
“What now?” She frowned at him.
“Nothing, love. Nothing at all. Come, let’s sit by the Black Lake, shall we? It’s too much of a beautiful day to spend it locked indoors,” he winked knowingly at his friend whilst taking her by the hand, another plan taking form inside his mind.
——————————————————————
“Where are Padfoot and Y/N?” Remus asked no one in particular as he glanced around the Gryffindor table at lunch time.
“Haven’t seen them since Potions this morning,” Peter shrugged uninterested.
“They’re probably snogging somewhere,” James said bitterly, his eyes glued on his food.
Remus lifted a brow at James whilst Peter blinked his eyes in confusion.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Remus asked him with a furrowed expression.
“There’s nothing to read into it. I just meant what I said,” James shrugged, a grimace on his features as he looked at Remus and Peter.
“But Prongs...” Peter whispered as quietly as he could without being incomprehensible. “We know this between them is just for show.”
“Do we? Please, Wormy. You know Padfoot. We all do,” James said calmly. “It’s just a matter of time until they cross the line, assuming they haven’t already.”
“What if they have? It’s not like it’s any of our business,” Remus narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at the messy-haired boy.
“But it is!” James exclaimed exasperatedly. “Y/N is also our friend, why do I seem like I’m the only one who cares about her wellbeing?! Padfoot is smitten with Marlene, you know that Moony. Y/N is the one who’ll end up getting hurt amidst this craziness.”
“Y/N is a smart girl, Prongs. She’s not naive. I highly doubt she or Padfoot himself will do something as stupid as that,” Remus shrugged before taking a piece of turkey to his mouth.
James bit his tongue and returned his gaze to his nearly untouched plate. He really hoped both Y/N and Sirius were smart enough to prevent what could only be described as a catastrophe, at least in his eyes. Just the thought of his best female friend being hurt by Sirius’ reckless actions made him feel like punching something. Or, more accurately, someone.
A loud sound of giggles snapped James out of his thoughts and drove him to wander his eyes to the big doors that separated the Great from the Entrance Hall. Holding hands, Y/N and Sirius were all smiles as they entered the room and approached their table.
“You almost missed the meal,” Peter scolded them with a motherly tone.
“Worry not, my dear Wormtail! We already ate,” Sirius winked at him.
“How’s that possible? You’ve just arrived,” Remus lifted a brow at Sirius.
“We raided the kitchen,” Y/N shrugged as she took a seat next to Remus.
Sirius plunk down by Y/N’s side and wrapped her in his arms guilelessly, playing with a lock of her hair. Nothing different than his usual behavior — since he and Y/N were pretty close friends themselves — but enough to drive James off the edge.
“You alright there, mate?” Sirius asked him for the second time that day, looking even more amused then he did firstly.
James blinked at the sudden attention as his other three best friends stared at him inquisitively. He only then realized how tense his body was and the tight grip he had around his fork. His knuckles were white due to how much pressure he was putting into it. The Gryffindor boy relaxed with a couple of deep breaths before letting his fork rest by the side of his plate.
“Hey, Prongs!” Peter whispered excitedly, breaking the awkward silence that fell upon the usually-very-talkative Marauders. “Fourth person on your left... look who’s staring at you!”
James gladly allowed his focus to shift from Y/N and Sirius as he looked to where Peter had told him. He lifted his brows in surprise as he’s met by Lily’s eyes, a small and shy smile forming on her face as their eyes locked. James returned her smile, waiting for the butterflies to flutter his stomach as they always did whenever he used to have some kind of interaction with the redhead. But they didn’t come at all. Not this time.
“What the bloody hell is happening to me?” He thought to himself as he forced himself to hold Lily’s stare for what seemed like forever.
“Looks like someone is finally wooing the girl of their dreams,” Remus teased after James broke off the eye contact.
“It was about time! I don’t think I could stand another year of this pitiful chase, it was getting quite embarrassing mate,” Sirius joked, earning amused laughs from both Peter and Remus.
“Would you three stop already?” Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m happy for you, Jamesy. Don’t mind them,” she reached for his hand across the table and gave it a light squeeze. A sweet smile on her lips.
James felt his stomach leaping like crazy inside of him at her touch. He furrowed his brows at the unknown feeling, his hand lingering on hers a while too longer.
——————————————————————
“You’re staring,” Remus pointed out without taking his eyes off his book.
“I’m not!” James denied quickly. “I’m just thinking about what to write on my essay.”
“Is your essay stamped on Y/N’s and Sirius’ faces?” The boy with chocolate eyes teased.
“Don’t you think they’re spending way too much time together?” James asked as he stared at Y/N and Sirius laughing together in a distant corner inside the Common Room. Y/N’s cheeks were flustered due to how hard Sirius was making her laugh.
“Meaning?” Remus’ attention was now solely on James as he studied his friend with a quirked eyebrow.
“Meaning they’ve got other friends outside each other, you know?!” James sounded a lot more harsh than he ever planned to.
The sound of Y/N’s laugh echoed in the room once more. She sounded like a 4-year-old laughing, it was absolutely adorable and completely contagious. James couldn’t help a small smile to spread across his face. He then caught himself wishing he could make her laugh like that. His face fell suddenly as he wondered why this thought would ever cross his mind.
“If it bothers you so much why don’t you just talk to her about it?” Remus shrugged, his focus back on his book.
James reflected on his friend’s advise for a short while until his vision got red again as Sirius trailed his fingers across Y/N’s back whilst whispering something into her ear. James closed his book with a loud bang, startling Remus and other few students who sat close to them.
“Where the bloody are you going?” Remus asked as his friend got on his feet and started gathering his things.
“Somewhere I can actually study,” James mumbled before moving in the direction of the portrait hole.
James wandered aimlessly through the castle, both his mind and heart racing and pounding with questions and emotions. Was he losing his mind? He didn’t know what was happening to him, why or how it started and neither how to make it stop. Y/N didn’t seem nearly as bothered at Sirius’ blatant advances, so he shouldn’t be either, right?!
As James’ feet stopped suddenly on their own, his surroundings came into focus once again and he caught himself staring back at him in a bathroom mirror. He rested his books on top of the nearest sink and took his glasses off, throwing a quick splash of water in his face and leaning over so he could rest his hands on the basin marble.
“What’s happening to me?” He mumbled to his own reflexion.
——————————————————————
“Gather around, kids!” Slughorn said proudly in front of a cauldron as the students started arriving for the Potions class.
Y/N, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter approached the Professor and peeked curiously into the cauldron content. A mother-of-pearl sheen liquid with a spiraling steam lied inside of it. Y/N shifted uncomfortably on her feet as she instantly recognized what the potion with such an unusual shine was.
“Oh...” Sirius whispered not so quietly into her ear with an annoying teasing tone, wrapping his arm on her shoulders.
“Oh Indeed, Mr. Black,” Slughorn grinned amusedly at the raven-haired boy. “Perhaps Miss Y/L/N could tell us what this potion is?”
“Amortentia, Sir. The most powerful love potion in the world. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. It’s also known by its smelling properties. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what — or should I say who — attracts them,” Y/N promptly answered the Professor’s question.
The room was dead silent as everyone stared at the cauldron with great interest after Y/N’s words. Especially the girls, whom all eyed the liquid furtively.
“Very good, Miss L/N! Ten points to Gryffindor!” Slughorn rumbled satisfied.
“That was hot,” Sirius joked, winking at Y/N.
James clenched his teeth as he stared at Sirius, feeling increasingly annoyed at the ever so blatant flirt and not hearing Slughorn asking for a volunteer to smell the potion in front of the entire class.
“Oh, Mr. Potter!” Slughorn exclaimed, dragging his attention back to the class. “Come here now, don’t be shy,” the teacher motioned for him to approach the cauldron.
Looking around, James realized the entire class stepped back and he was standing considerably afar from them. Gulping, the always-so-brave-and-carefree Gryffindor boy slowly started to walk to the cauldron, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“Just go already, mate! We all know you’re gonna smell something Lily-related anyway!” Sirius shouted from behind him, earning laughs from almost the entire student body present at the class.
“I highly doubt he will,” Lily said out of the blue, making James stop suddenly on his feet and turn around to face her.
“What was that, love?” He quirked an eyebrow at her with a devilish smile. There was nothing that turned him on more than a challenge.
“I said you wouldn’t smell me. My bet is on something Quidditch-related. But I’ll tell you what, if you do smell anything that actually has something to do with me, I’ll let you take me out on a date,” Lily crossed her arms against her chest defiantly.
That was it, the moment James had been waiting for ever since he first laid his eyes on Lily. The moment he thought would be the happiest of his life. The moment that would leave him feeling over the moon of joy. But nothing of this happened. Sure, it felt satisfactory to finally achieve a long-term goal and finally convincing Lily, but that was it. Just it.
“Go on, Potter! We don’t have all day!” Someone among the Slytherin students shouted, clearly excited to see the outcome of the proposal.
James then walked to Slughorn and stood in front of the cauldron, facing his fellow Gryffindors and the Slytherin crowd.
“Now, Mr. Potter, close your eyes and take a deep breath,” Slughorn instructed as he stepped aside and left James and the cauldron all alone in the spotlight. “And then let us know what you smelled!”
James did exactly as Professor Slughorn had told him to. At first, nothing happened, and then, suddenly, a powerful wave of the most endearing and hypnotic smell enveloped him and raided all of his senses. The smell was an intoxicating mixture of patchouli, sandalwood and cranberry. His eyes widened open as he instantly recognized where he had already smelled this. It was her smell. Y/N’s signature smell.
James’ eyes searched the little crowd furiously until they landed on Y/N. She was inspecting her nails, weirdly quite interested. He wanted to shout so she could look at him. He wanted to lock eyes with her and tell her what he had just smelled. He wanted to run at her and sweep her off her feet, spin her around and tell her what had been in his heart unbeknownst to him this whole time. He now knew what was happening to him.
“Mr. Potter?” Slughorn’s voice alerted James that he and the entire class were waiting for his answer.
James nodded at the Professor and allowed his eyes to land on Y/N once again before finally answering him. However, what he witnessed made his stomach sink. Y/N was whispering something into Sirius’ ear and his left hand was clutched on her waist.
“So that’s why she wouldn’t look at me,” he thought bitterly at himself.
James’ eyes wandered to Lily, a sudden frustration invading him. The redhead looked at him expectantly, unlike Y/N, who was too immersed on Sirius to notice the longing looks he had been sending her way lately. Sighing, James made a stupid decision in the heat of the moment.
“I smell vanilla and lilies,” he announced to Slughorn, knowing very well Lily smelled like that.
When he turned around to face the class again, Y/N and Sirius were nowhere to be found. Lily on the other hand, was standing right where she was, blinking with a dumbfounded expression.
——————————————————————
“Please, Sirius, don’t make me go in there,” Y/N begged Sirius as they approached the Three Broomsticks. She knew exactly what she was going to witness once they went into the establishment.
“Come on now, Y/N! Marlene is going to be there with Alice, please?” He gave her his best puppy eyes as he implored.
“How long will we have to keep up with this?” She asked, pointing back and forth between the two of them.
“Until she admits she has the hots for me,” he winked at his best friend, who simply rolled her eyes at him.
When they entered the pub, their eyes instantly fell on the table where a certain couple was having their first date. Sirius squeezed Y/N’s hand as he noticed her gaze lingering on James’ back.
“Let’s get this over with, shall we?” She mumbled, pulling Sirius by the hand to a distant table where Remus, Peter, Alice and Marlene sat chatting happily.
“Finally! Where the two of you were?” Remus exclaimed as Y/N and Sirius approached them.
“We were a little... busy, Moony,” Sirius winked suggestively at his friends. “Seems like I’m simply irresistible to my sunshine here.”
Marlene rolled her eyes at them, clearly beyond annoyed at Y/N’s and Sirius’ presence.
“Y/N, tell me, how can you possibly tolerate him, darling?” Remus teased as he noticed Marlene’s annoyance and Sirius’ proud grin.
“I usually keep my lips on his for as long as I can so he can’t speak. That’s the key,” Y/N shrugged, getting into character.
Remus, Peter, Alice and even Marlene laughed at Sirius’ shocked expression at Y/N’s comeback. She forced herself to laugh as well even though she was feeling everything but joy right now.
Stealing a glance in James’ direction, their eyes locked for a while before he drove his attention back to Lily and Y/N felt the sudden need of fresh air.
“I have to use the loo. Be right back,” Y/N mumbled at her friends whilst getting up.
The chit-chat ceased quickly as three of the Marauders and the two girls observed the y/h/c girl shy away from them.
“So, how’s our plan going, babe?” Marlene asked excitedly to Sirius as soon as they couldn’t see Y/N anymore, linking her arm in his.
Before Sirius could say anything, Remus cut him off asking with a much shocked tone of voice: “What plan are you two talking about? Didn’t Marlene despised you like you told us when you’ve asked Y/N for help to make her jealous? Why is she calling you babe? What is going on here?”
“Hold your wolves, would ya Moony? We’ll explain everything,” Sirius grinned. “I did tell Y/N that but Marlene and I had already been sneaking around unbeknownst to general knowledge.”
“Was that supposed to enlighten me?” Remus quirked a brow at him.
“Let me explain, for Merlin’s sake!” Marlene lifted a hand in front of Sirius as he opened his mouth to start talking. “We were snogging in an empty classroom under James’ invisibility cloak this one time when he and Y/N suddenly sneaked in as they ran away from Filch-“
-
“Oh, Sirius,” Marlene mumbled pleasantly at the raven-haired boy who was brushing his lips against her neck teasingly.
“Do you like that?” He asked softly.
“Ye-Yeah,” she muttered in response amidst a heavy sigh.
The couple was suddenly startled as the classroom door clicked open and was quickly closed again with an explosion of giggles. They quickly parted as they stared confusedly at Y/N and James, whom were out of breath and leant against the dark and old rock-wall, hands clutched together.
“Merlin, did you see Filch’s face?” James asked with a laugh.
“I honestly thought he’d spit fire,” Y/N answered with a snore, her face completely flustered from all the running.
James stared at his friend in a comfort silent for quite some time, as if he was engraving her every feature in his mind. “Godric, you’re beautiful.”
Sirius gasped at his friend’s words. Marlene’s mouth fell open.
It was only when Y/N’s eyes widened that James realized he had said that out loud.
“I-I mean, you’re quite alright for a girl and everything, mate,” he added quickly, making even more of a fool out of himself.
“Yeah... thanks, mate,” Y/N answered with a furrowed expression. She was clearly embarrassed as well. “We should probably get going before Filch comes back. Where did you leave your bloody cloak anyway?”
“I’m not sure, I couldn’t find it anywhere. Sirius must’ve borrowed it,” he shrugged, opening the door and checking the outside surroundings for any sign of Filch. “Let’s go!” He grabbed Y/N by the hand and led her out of the classroom, closing the door behind them.
“Did he just say what I heard?” Sirius checked with Marlene just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating as he tossed the invisibility cloak on the floor.
“He actually did,” she answered, a little shocked herself. “Not that it was surprising in any way, I mean, it‘s quite obvious he has it bad for her, I just didn’t think he’d ever notice, he pinning after Lily and everything,” Marlene shrugged.
“I don’t think he reckoned his feelings just yet, James can be a bit of a thick-head sometimes.”
“A bit? And just sometimes? The lad has been chasing after the same girl - who wants nothing to do with him if I may add - for almost six whole years. He definitely is a big time thick-head,” Marlene quirked a brow at Sirius.
“You’re right...” he mumbled thoughtfully. “We have to do something, they’ve got too much pride to ever admit their feelings for each other.”
Marlene shot him a grin as the perfect idea crossed her mind, “have you told anyone about us?”
“Not yet.”
“Good, here’s what we’re going to do...” Marlene started to explain him how he’d tell everyone she didn’t want anything to do with him and then ask for Y/N’s help to make her jealous in front of all of his friends. She made sure to let him know he was supposed to flirt hard with Y/N when James was around.
-
“Did you really have to make the beginning so... graphic?” Alice asked with a grimace once Marlene had told them the entire story.
“Agreed!” Remus quirked his brows at the secret couple. “But I have to say, this idea was quite... clever.”
“It really was,” Peter nodded excitedly. “Padfoot definitely stroke a nerve by flirting with Y/N in front of Prongs.”
“And so did Lily by pretending she was finally interested in him,” Marlene smiled proudly at herself.
“Wait... what?” Sirius looked utterly shocked as he asked her.
“Yeah, sorry about that, but I thought it’d look more... realistic if you didn’t know that. You care about Y/N, you wouldn’t bare seeing her hurt without letting her know the truth,” Marlene shrugged at her boyfriend.
“Woman... you are the love of my life,” Sirius grinned devilishly at her, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles.
-
“That prick...” James mumbled at himself as he clenched his fists at the sight of Sirius flirting and touching Marlene. Didn’t he have no respect for Y/N? He literally just waited until she turned her back to be a complete prat.
“What?” A bored Lily asked.
James realized he had been staring at their friends table basically ever since Y/N and Sirius first showed up, leaving Lily hanging. But, truth be told, the date sucked even before that. He and Lily had zero chemistry, zero common ground, zero... everything. They definitely didn’t belong together.
“Look Evans...” he started after a heavy sigh, looking for the right words.
“This date sucks,” Lily completed as she shrugged in relief. “I know.”
“Well, I’d probably be way more gentle than that, but... that’s what I was trying to say,” he laughed.
“You didn’t smell vanilla and lilies when you inhaled Amortentia, did you?” She quirked a brow at him.
“No...” he furrowed apologetically. “I smelled patchouli, sandalwood and cranberry. As in-“
“Y/N’s artisanal perfume,” she cut him off with a smirk. “Why did you lie you idiot?”
“In my defense, I was gonna tell the truth but then... I saw her and Sirius flirting and, well, you know what I did,” he shrugged.
“Your stupidness never fails to amaze me, Potter,” Lily rolled her eyes at the hazel-eyed boy. “Sirius would never get himself involved with a girl his best mate fancied.”
“Please, he could never know I fancy Y/N,” he furrowed his brows in disbelief. “I’ve only realized it myself a couple days ago.”
“Potter, you oblivious daft, everyone knows you have it bad for her for ages and the other way around,” she rolled her eyes at him once again.
“Are you saying-“
“That the entire school already realized you both long for each other? Yes. Now, let’s go,” Lily stood up and motioned with her head for him to follow her.
“Where are we going?” He asked confused.
“You are going to tell Y/N what Amortentia really smelled like to you and I am going to watch it alongside all of our friends and tease the two of you later,” she said as if it was obvious whilst they crossed the pub.
-
“He admitted his feelings towards Y/N out loud,” Lily announced amused as they approached their friends, taking Y/N’s vacant seat.
“Bloody finally!” Sirius and Remus shouted in unison as they both lifted their glasses in mock celebration.
“I have to say I thought I’d have to kiss her in front of you so your blind self would finally realize your own damn feelings,” Sirius grinned amused at James.
“Please, this is Prongs we’re talking about! He’d probably punch you in the face and still not have a clue as to why he was so angry at the whole situation,” Remus teased with a smirk.
“Sod off, would you?” James flashed his middle finger at them, his eyes scanning the entire place. “Where’s Y/N?”
“She said she was going to use the loo, let me go look for her,” Alice answered James with an excited smile.
James stood there full of hope whilst Alice went looking for Y/N, his heart pounding against his chest and his hands sweating as he thought about finally telling her how he felt.
Alice reappeared again a few minutes later, but there was no sign of Y/N as she walked back to their table.
“She wasn’t there,” she told James, a furrowed expression on her face.
“Where the bloody hell can she possibly be?” Sirius asked with a confused look.
“The castle...” James mumbled at himself before taking off hurriedly.
Marlene stood up as quickly as she could and mentioned to run after James.
“What are you doing?” Sirius asked with a scrunched face.
“Well, I’m definitely not gonna miss the pathetic scene of him finally confessing his feelings to our Y/N, will you?” She quirked an eyebrow.
The little crowd exchanged looks among them before getting up recklessly and take off on James’ trail.
——————————————————————
“How do I do that? How do I tell her I have feelings for her after saying in front of the entire class I smelled lilies as I inhaled Amortentia?” James asked breathlessly as he stopped suddenly in front of the Fat Lady portrait, turning on his heels so he could face his friends.
“Preferable with your mouth, although I suppose you could use your hands as well, you know, to make it more... intimate,” Sirius suggested with a devilishly grin, winging his eyebrows.
“Merlin. I don’t even know what to say about... that,” Lily looked disgusted at Sirius, turning to James afterwards. “Just... do something meaningful for the both of you. Use something that the two of you have in common to make it special. I’m sure it’ll earn you extra points.”
“I’m with Evans on this one,” Remus shrugged. “Sorry, Padfoot.”
They kept throwing suggestions at him, but James wasn’t paying attention anymore. Lily’s words were hammering inside his head as he was thinking about what to do. And then, suddenly, as if it was magic, a brilliant idea popped inside his mind.
“Fat Lady, has Y/N came in already?” James asked the portrait that guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor tower.
“Yes, Potter, she came in a while ago in fact. She didn’t have the best of looks on her face if I may add, I’m assuming she went straight upstairs to her dormitory,” the portrait answered promptly, gladly giving away the juicy details in hopes to gossip a little bit.
“Perfect!” James grinned at the painting. “Thanks, love!” He shouted before running through the hallway.
“Should we follow him?” Peter asked Remus and Sirius.
“What if he comes back?” Sirius shrugged.
“I don’t think he will,” Lily smiled, realizing what he was about to do.
“Mind sharing the why?” Marlene quirked a brow at her.
“Think about it. What’s the one thing they both equally love fiercely?” Lily asked the little crowd with a grin. “Despite each other, of course.”
“Quidditch...” Remus answered slowly, realizing James’ intentions as well.
Before anyone could say anything, James came back and flew by them on his broom, a large grin on his face, “well? Are you lot coming or what?”
Taking off as fast as he could and with his friends on his trail, James flew around the hallways of the castle in the direction of the sloping lawns in the school grounds.
As James proceeded on his flying, he started to draw more and more curious students returning from the Hogsmeade trip, that way, by the time he had approached the exterior walls of the Gryffindor Tower, he had quite a crowd standing underneath him.
Touching the ground slightly, James gathered a few little pieces of rocks and hopped on his broom again, flying up until he reached the same level of the girls dorm’s window.
Before James could execute his plan, a loud shout from Minerva McGonagall startled him.
“James Potter, get off this broom immediately!”
Before James could answer and beg for her to let him do what he had come here to in the first place, the window cracked open. As his eyes shot in the direction of the sound, James spotted an utterly confused Y/N staring at him.
“James what the bloody hell are you doing?” She asked with a frown.
“Well, I was planning on throwing these rocks softly at your window until you opened them up, but I guess there’s no point in doing so now,” he shrugged, showing her the rocks he had clutched into his palm.
“And why would you do that?” She giggled at him, causing butterflies to flutter inside James’ stomach.
“Because I have something rather important to discuss with you, love,” he grinned.
“Why didn’t you just shout my name from the Common Room then, you mental?” She quirked her eyebrows.
“‘m afraid that wouldn’t be as nearly as romantic.”
“Romantic? What are you talking about?” She asked, a disrupted look on her face. “James, what’s going on here?”
“POTTER!” McGonagall shouted once again.
“Could you give a smitten boy a second to confess his feelings for Merlin’s sake, Minnie?” He shouted with a wink at the Professor.
“Well... I suppose I can,” she shrugged with a discreet side smirk. “And Potter?”
“Yes, Minnie?”
“Glad to see you finally build up the courage,” she smiled at the dumbfounded look the boy gave her.
Y/N was still staring at James in shock as he drove his attention back to her.
“So...” she said.
“I lied at the Potions class last week,” he said out of the blue, gliding trough the air.
“Meaning?”
“Meaning I didn’t smell lilies or vanilla when I inhaled Amortentia.”
“And what did you smell?” Y/N asked and James could notice she was holding her breath back.
“Home,” the messy-haired boy answered with a gentle smile, his hazel eyes lingering on Y/N’s. “And it smelled like patchouli, sandalwood and cranberries.”
Slowly realizing he was describing her scents, Y/N’s cheeks heated up furiously as she stared at the boy she has been fancying for so long, her eyes widened in shock.
“James is this one of your jokes? If it is, I swear to Godric-“
“No, love. I’d never joke about something like that. I’d never do something like that to you,” he smiled gently. “I’m in love with you, madly in love with you. I have been for years. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”
“In that case, would you get off this broom already so I can kiss you?” Y/N said with a lovingly frown.
“Gladly!” James’ face lit up as he hurriedly closed the space between his broom and the window, hopping inside the girl’s dorm.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” Y/N shook her head with a smile.
“About you? Definitely!” James grabbed Y/N by her waist and crashed his lips into her, finally tasting what true happiness was like.
4K notes · View notes
starrconch · 3 years
Note
Hi! Can I request a Zhongli (back to when he was still Rex Lapis) x fem!Hydro Archon reader? Thanks in advance, can't wait to see what you come up with!
HYDRO ARCHON READER
★ Includes: Zhongli, female reader
★ Word Count: 1745
★ Master List
★ Notes: thank you for the request! I'm loving the archon readers lately, it's been fun learning about some lore :D Also exams who? Zhongli is too tempting and I may have gone a little overboard...
★ Edit: part two is here >:)
Tumblr media
ZHONGLI
★ The archon war was just under a century ago and the water could still remember it. That’s what you loved about the water, it could remember anything it pleased and for as long as it desired, as it was almost as eternal as you were, being the hydro archon and all.
★ You were most renowned for your Oceanid spies that could submerge themselves into the water and listen in to anyone’s conversations. Whether it be a small puddle or an entire lake, they could do it.
★ You had sent one of your finest spies, Rhodeia, to the nation of Liyue being built from the ground up by the god of war. It was a place supposedly filled with prosperous trades and a currency called mora, which you wanted to find more about.
The waterfalls in your throne room gushed and spluttered as Rhodeia emerged from one of them, making her way over to you and kneeling before you. “My queen,” she began, “I’m sorry I have failed you.”
“Failed me?” You chuckled a little nervously. “You have done no such thing. Now, what do you have to report to me from Liyue?”
Something was wrong, you could feel it. The water outside of the room felt strange. It weaved through the air back to you, holding whispers of an intruder located nearby. It urged you to eliminate the possible threat and keep your people safe.
“I-” It pained your spy to utter her next words. “I got caught by the geo archon. He’s waiting outside to speak with you.” Tears formed in the Oceanid’s eyes. She’d failed you, her one job to serve as a spy and go unnoticed was gone.
“Hey!” You got off of your throne and knelt before your spy, wiping the tears from her already water-like body. “There’s no need for tears, you did as I asked and I am thankful to you for that. Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while. I will not punish you for it.”
“Thank, your highness.” She lowered her head and sank into the floor, becoming one with a puddle that sat below her.
Sighing, you got back onto your throne and called out to your guards, “bring him in!”
Rex Lapis was a sight to behold indeed. He wore a long white cloak with the hood up, adorned with several symbols in bronze that represented geo and war. Underneath, he wore a skin-tight black shirt that also acted as gloves, covering his fingers and the majority of his neck. Golden glowing veins trailed up his arms, a similar hue to his amber eyes which glowed almost as fiercely.
“Y/N, the goddess of justice, how very nice it is to meet your acquaintance.” He did not dare kneel, for he was in his own right just as powerful as you were.
“As is it to also meet you, Rex Lapis. What brings you here today without any notice of your arrival?”
“Well, you see, I found an Oceanid in the reflection of one of the ponds around Liyue Harbour and so I returned her to you. What I came here to ask was what information you needed.” He crossed his arms. His swaying motion gave you a chance to see his hair in a rat-tail flowing out of a hole in the back of his cloak.
“And you want to give this information to me willingly?” You raised a brow, tapping your fingers against your throne. Rhodeia was still in the room listening in, you could feel her in the water beside you. You could only hope that he didn’t want your best spy publicly punished in exchange.
“With a trade perhaps, if you’re willing. I shall give you the information you desire in exchange for a favour to Liyue if my nation should ever need help. Is that a deal?”
You paused for a moment to think the trade through. It seemed genuine enough, but it was strange how he didn’t want anything to do with Rhodeia. Maybe it was just his way of ruling, but you were thankful nonetheless. “Alright, we have a deal.”
Stepping down from your throne, you held out your hand for him to shake to confirm the exchange, which he accepted. The closer you got to him, the more you realised how good he looked from up close, making butterflies appear in your stomach.
“What would you like to know about Liyue?” A smile formed on his lips, forcing your cheeks to heat ever so slightly.
★ You asked how such a basic, lowly nation had suddenly become so successful and prosperous. Rex Lapis returned with the answer of everyone pitched in to make Liyue the way it currently is. It hasn’t just been him, the archon, putting in all the work.
★ When you had nothing left you could think of to ask, he left, warning you to not send any more spies his way and to just contact him instead to see him and ask him more information. But why would you do it when that way he could easily keep secrets from you?
★ After a few weeks of waiting, you sent a different spy into the grounds of Liyue with the intention of finding out more about this thing they called mora. Soon enough, they returned.
“Mora are small circles of gold that the citizens carry around with them to use in trades. This is so they don’t have to use personal belongings anymore and they can get food easily.” The Oceanid knelt deeply before you.
“And you didn’t get caught, correct?”
“Correct, my queen.”
Then who was standing outside, one foot in a puddle, waiting with your guards? Using your vision, you called a stream of water back to you to give you more information. From the whispers of knowledge you received, you concluded that Rex Lapis was the one visiting you once again.
“So, you know nothing of the man standing outside?”
Your spy looked up, confused. “No, my queen. I haven’t got any information on that.”
Humming in suspicion, you leant back on your throne. “We shall talk later, for now, have the guards bring in Rex Lapis.”
“Yes, my queen.”
The geo archon crossed his arms, more annoyed than the last time you two saw each other. “If you’d like to see me so much, perhaps we should make a proper contract to exchange information on a regular basis?”
“Perhaps,” you agreed. “You can start with this: how do you keep finding my spies?”
“It’s simple.” Rex Lapis began to pace back and forth as he spoke. “I made a contract with them.”
Your eyes widened in shock. Your spies had betrayed you? No, not all of them surely. Rhodeia would never dare. She was loyal. They were all loyal, weren’t they?
“When they get to Liyue, they seek me and tell me of your plans. In return, I will give you the information you require and they may leave my nation intact.”
How dare he. All you had wanted was information and the slight chance of seeing him again. You had to admit, your thoughts had lingered on him throughout your time apart, now you could do nothing but chide yourself. This was how you were rewarded.
“And for mora, why are you so concerned over my currency?” You watched as he outstretched his arm, a small coin-like shape appearing in his skin before dropping. He caught the circle that he no doubt recognised as mora.
“It’s not much of a concern, merely curiosity.”
After a moment of silence, the god of war spoke again, “if you’d like, I could integrate it into Fontaine. I’ve been dreaming of this invention to spread across Teyvat to make trades and contracts much easier.”
You were in no place to deny as he already had a firm grasp on your spies, but did you even want to deny him? How better to learn about this currency than to bring it into your home?
★ The two of you discussed back and forth what bringing mora into Fontaine would require, leaving you unknowing that you were indeed the first step for mora becoming a worldwide currency.
★ Years went by of Rex Lapis coming back and forth every month or so to replenish your stocks of mora. You loved to watch as he did so, the coins appearing in his body and then falling to his feet, letting you notice how exhausted it made him.
★ Always afterwards you invited him to dine with you to help replenish his strength and also exchange information about your nations. As the two of you grew closer, you began to realise that you were falling for him.
It was getting too much, your admiration for him, your desire to see and touch him. You needed it all and it was getting unbearable without his presence, but you had no idea if Rex Lapis felt the same way about you.
Your Morax. It was a little nickname you had given him from watching him produce all those coins, a mixture between Rex and mora. You began to imagine what he would look like if you ever called him that, so entranced with this thought that you didn’t hear him calling you name.
“Y/N?” He called a little louder, reaching out for your hand that had been swirling your tea in its cup. The geo archon had brought some along with him from Liyue for you to try. According to him, it was his favourite
You jumped at the contact, suddenly looking up into his amber eyes. “Oh sorry, yes?”
He chuckled at your flustered appearance, taking another sip of his tea. “It seems that another contract is in order.”
“Another? What for this time?” Had you done something wrong? If you had, surely he would voice his concerns.
“Would you be inclined to forge a contract together to be each other’s partner? I’ve heard it’s quite the custom among mortals.” He turned away, nervousness running through his body.
Your heart felt as though it dropped from its safety in your chest. Did you hear him correctly? Were you zoned out again and just hearing what you wished to hear?
You shot up from your seat and wrapped your arms around his chest, burying your face into the crook of his neck.
The vibrations of his deep laugh reverberated through you as he replied, “I shall take that as a yes.”
Tumblr media
602 notes · View notes
yukidragon · 1 year
Note
I heard Jack has a family, I only know his parents' name (Rise & Shine) But i dont know his sister's name since I'm only new of this fandom, I dont know much their personality, how they looked like or his parents' backstories too or even what jack and his sister looked like or personality since they were kids. (since i heard Jambeebot taken down SDJ drawings in their twitter acc :'( )
But What if Jack's family met reader/alice or Jack introduced his parents to reader/alice?
What do you think Jack's family interactions towards alice/reader or what do they think towards to alice/reader
I would love to hear your thoughts or headcanons, also i love your SDJ Fanfics too <3
Thank you so much for saying so. It makes me happy to know that you love my stories. 💖
Welcome to the fandom! Happy to have you join us. 🎉
Jack’s extended family are part of the SunnyTime Town AU, also known as the STT AU. This isn’t to be confused with the universe for Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, where Jack is just a character Joseph/[Redacted] played. In STT AU, Jack is a real person who happens to be a clown, living in SunnyTown, as opposed to CoudyTown. It's primarily a comedy AU based off a world filled with clowny characters. Here’s a couple of images Sauce/Jambeebot did for it, including ones that explain more details about it.
Oh, before I go into the images, I will emphasize that Jambeebot/Sauce’s art is not mine, and I really hope you support them on their official Sunny Day Jack twitter, Patreon, and/or kickstarter! They work super hard to create this content for all of us to enjoy, so I wanted to emphasize the credit to them since I’m showing their publicly released artwork.
Also, while I’m on the topic, please don’t repost the private patreon-exclusive art. I’ve seen some people reposting art from the patreon in the tags, and even if it’s cropped, that’s not okay. Doing that is not supporting Sauce/Jambeebot; that’s costing them money that could be spent helping them be financially secure and allow them to make the game without worrying about their livelihood.
Oh, and I almost forgot the obligatory tags for @channydraws and @earthgirlaesthetic. If you want to get tagged when I make the next headcanon post, just let me know!
Thanks for listening, now onto Sauce’s beautiful art and lovely STT AU.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And since you were interested in seeing Jack and his big sis Daisy Chain Jane as kids, as well as getting a look at what little we’ve seen of Rise and Shine’s backstories, I shall deliver.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I’m still working on Alice’s clownsona as it were for the STT AU. I do have her name sorted out though - Aurorabori Alice.
Yes, I feel quite proud of that pun.
Alice (and MC in general) would be the newcomer to SunnyTown who Jack feels an immediate attraction to. Jack is well liked by everybody, and is always friendly, but he’s especially drawn to Alice, wanting to befriend her and spend as much time with her as possible.
Also, despite this AU being very lighthearted and comedy based... yanderes still exist here too, and Jack inherited quite a lot of traits from his dad...
Tumblr media
The intensity of these feelings for Alice(/MC) are new and... more than a little unnerving, even to Jack. He’s never felt this way before about anyone. He aches for her in a way that is so strong, he is rather frightened of himself, and too ashamed to tell anybody that he feels this way. He didn’t realize that something was missing from his life until he met Alice, and now that he knows just how warm sunshine can be, the thought of living without her feels dark and cold, even though he’s surrounded by friends and family who love him.
Despite these new frightening desires, Jack won’t force anything on Alice. How could he do that to someone he loves so deeply? It would snuff out her light and ruin her. No, all he can do is keep these feelings hidden and love her with all his heart. Hopefully, if he does everything right, she’ll eventually love him too. There’s no one else in the world who could love her more than he does. It’s impossible, not with feelings as strong as this...
As for Alice... she just thinks Jack is very friendly. Anytime she suspects that he might be flirting with her or that his feelings might be anything but platonic, her best friend Honey Bunny is quick to remind her that Jack is just a very friendly person, which is why everyone loves him, and he probably isn’t interested in getting a partner since he’s never had one before at his age.
Though Honey doesn’t realize Jack simply never felt anything for anyone the way Alice did.
Tumblr media
Yes, this is the same Honey Bunny puppet that’s from Alice’s concept sheet. Like Buddy can change from a belt to a person, Honey can change from a puppet into a person.
There’s a theory that when Buddy changes into a human, Jack turns into a belt, though there are also pictures of the two of them human together (including a very spicy one). Still, if Honey and Buddy’s situations with their respective pals are similar, then it means Alice would have a puppet form she can transform into. I’d probably have to design it when I finally draw her STT AU self.
Honey has good intentions about steering Alice away from Jack’s affections. Alice moved to SunnyTown to get a fresh start after she had a rough time with a former suitor who may or may not be Ian’s clownsona. (Naturally, things won’t wind up as toxic for the breakup as they did in the SDJ universe.) Honey wants to protect her best friend from heartache, but might be a bit overprotective at times.
On the other side of the coin, you have Buddy serving to encourage Jack and give him, at times kind of off the wall advice, but he means well too. Naturally, this causes Buddy and Honey to come into conflict a lot, as Buddy is trying to be Jack’s wingman, and Honey is trying to be Jack’s cockblocker.
One solid image I have is of when Alice and Jack start getting closer despite Honey’s interference, Buddy (in human form) drags off Honey by her ears or tail (also in human form) to give them alone time.
Yes, Honey still has rabbit ears and a tail in her human form. How can I resist? Plus it’s not like Buddy doesn’t have unusual anatomy too...
Oh, speaking of that part of him, in this version of the STT AU with Alice, Honey and Buddy wind up going from antagonists to, ahem, quite a bit more. They fight, and it turns into spice. Jack and Alice are going to walk in on them and get quite a shock to see them making out.
Naturally, in a general MC version of the STT AU, there wouldn’t be a Honey Bunny, so it’d be up to the respective person writing their take on the AU to decide how the relationship with Jack goes and what obstacles there are.
Jack is very likely to introduce his family to Alice right away. Jane seems like the type of nosy big sister who would insist on meeting the girl who Jack can’t stop talking about. Mama Shine and Papa Rise would obviously be curious as well.
Rise would also suspect that Jack might be taking after him in a certain way and discreetly give his son tips on how to keep from scaring away his sunshine. After all, Rise would never allow anyone to take Shine away from him, and why would he force his son to suffer without that addicting sunlight in his life?
Shine is a sweet mama type, very energetic, loud, and talkative. She would be the first to greet Alice after Jack introduces the family, likely with a big friendly hug, and would gush about how her son always speaks so highly of Alice, much to Jack’s embarrassment when she starts giving examples.
Alice, in return, would be happy to meet her new friend’s family and very happy that they like her. She wouldn’t be nervous about meeting them since she wouldn’t realize that she’s meeting her future in-laws. She would see where Jack gets his friendly and kind personality from when meeting them.
Honey might insist on coming along to the instruction if possible. She’ll be seeing right through Jack’s intentions and want to make sure things stay strictly platonic, though she will be friendly and wind up liking the family more than she thought she would.
How the family would feel about a general MC really depends on the different MCs and their personalities. From the aspect of how they feel about someone Jack is obviously in love with, they’re happy for him that he found someone who makes him feel that way. As long as they’re a good person for someone as sweet as Jack, they’ll welcome them with open arms.
Opinions on Alice specifically are as follows...
Shine thinks Alice is a very sweet girl, and is very considerate of Jack, which is ideal in a partner for her son. Alice is not terribly talkative, but that’s not a problem at all. After all, her loving husband is nonverbal. What’s important is that Alice is kind to Jack and even at this early friendship stage, she can see the hints of budding romantic feelings towards Jack forming from Alice’s end too.
Rise has a general friendly reaction to Alice initially, then is quietly surprised and pleased to learn that she knows sign language and can hold an actual nonverbal conversation with him. That certainly wins her a few points in his book. The more he learns about her, the more he can see what Jack sees in her and he approves.
Yes, Alice knows ASL in the SDJ universe too. (As well as the other AUs with her.)
Jane is a bit more of a wild card when it comes to Alice. She both likes Alice right away, but also sees an opportunity to playfully tease such an easily flustered person, as well as her little brother. She’s friendly and ultimately ships Alice and Jack, but is going to give them both a hard time with it and mercilessly tease Jack at every opportunity.
Opinions from the family about Honey Bunny are generally positive as well, as it’s easy to recognize she’s just looking out for a friend. Shine would probably try to give her advice to take it easy sometimes though. Jane would find it hilarious that Jack is getting cockblocked and use it as teasing fuel. Rise would see Honey as a potential problem, but is keeping hands off from interfering, as it’s a minor issue and Jack needs to learn how to deal with people who would keep his sunshine away.
Buddy is nebulous in that he’s a close enough friend to Jack that he’s practically family, so I’ll give his opinions as well. He likes Alice right away. She’s friendly, nice, and she greets him along with Jack even when he’s a belt at the time, which a lot of people forget to do. He is totally on board with helping Jack win her over.
As for Honey Bunny... as far as Buddy is concerned, she’s obnoxious, annoying, but cute, and fun to tease. The latter feelings develop into a more, ahem, friendly type of teasing down the road.
In the STT AU, Alice would probably be the new arts and crafts teacher at Jack’s schoolhouse, which gives them plenty of time to interact, and plenty of time for Jack to give her lovestruck looks from afar as he watches her teach the kids and play with them.
Also, in a nod to the lore I went with for Sunshine in Hell, Alice would sometimes give puppet show presentations at the library with the help of her friend Honey Bunny. Cloudy-Belle Sue just might wind up being her cousin in fact, given Alice’s hair is kind of cloud-like and fluffy, which is similar to Sue’s hairstyle. In this situation, it would be Sue introducing Alice and Jack to help her cousin get used to the town and make friends.
Naturally, Sue and the rest of the SunnyTime Crew are going to help Jack get together with Alice. They’re his friends after all, and Alice is a sweet girl, though Sue will caution Jack to take it slow since she’s had her heart broken before.
For a general MC, the crew would no doubt ship Jack with his sunshine regardless since he’s so happy with them. Whether they’re related to any of the other crew members is up to the individual MC’s backstory, of course.
Oh, wow, this really ran away from me, didn’t it? That’s about all I have for now of the STT AU. If you want to hear about the AphroDesia crossover AU’s versions of the family and their opinions of/interactions with Alice, let me know, since things are a liiittle bit different in the mafia AU.
Thanks again for sending the ask. I hope you found my thoughts entertaining and that these images from Jambeebot helped you learn a bit more about the SunnyTime Town AU!
298 notes · View notes
mochegato · 3 years
Text
Even the Losers
Chapter 16
Chapter 1     Chapter 15
Marinette blinked as the room around her slowly came into focus.  She tried to bring her hand up to rub her head to help alleviate her pulsing headache but her hands weren’t responding.  It felt like there was a weight on them.  Or like they were being held down, bound.  Marinette’s eyes flew open and her heart started pounding as she searched the room for the akuma.  She looked at her hands and silently cursed to herself.  Not only were her arms bound to the arms of a wooden chair, she saw her own naked hands instead of her distinct red suit.  
She groaned and looked around for any clues to where she was being held and what the akuma might be.  If she could figure out their powers, she might be able to figure out how to get out of this.  She stopped when she saw a man in a green suit making his way toward her.  She blinked a few more times taking in his suit and hat.  “Is that… are those question marks?  Are you a question akuma?” she muttered out in French.
The man tilted his head at her.  “You’ll find English is necessary if you want to get out of this one alive, young Wayne.”
Marinette stared at the man a few more seconds, letting his words settle in her head as things started to click in her mind.  She wasn’t in Paris.  This wasn’t an akuma, because there weren’t akumas anymore. She and Adrien had defeated his father. She was in Gotham.  She had been on her way home after a disastrous dinner at the Wayne’s. This was a Gotham villain, not a Parisian one.  This was the Riddler.
Marinette breathed out a sigh of relief before her face scrunched in frustration.  “Are you kidding me?  Are you kidding me right now?  You had to do this right now?”
“Oh, I never kid about riddles.  Now, is not the time to panic, Little Lady,” he taunted.
“Oh, you have no fucking clue.  Now is most definitely NOT the time, but you made it the time,” she hissed at him.  “Do you have ANY idea how bad my week is going?  My night?  Do you? Do you have any idea of the trauma and nightmares I’m going to have to deal with already?  And that was before you forced me to witness your suit in person. And can you comprehend the mental and emotional cataclysm I’m already going to have to endure?  And you’re pulling this shit?  Now?”
“I’m just going to ask a few questions and then it’ll all be over and then you can have your little mental breakdown,” he jeered condescendingly.
She narrowed her eyes at him and tried to lunge at him, but her chest was tied to the chair, holding her back, and she’d never hated rope more than she did in that moment.  She growled and glared at him.  “Oh thank you for the permission.  And for the record, it won’t be little.  It’s going to be a monufuckingmental breakdown.  Thank you very much.  Granted it isn’t everything on Earth is destroyed but me and one other person, who caused it in the first place, level of bad.  But I think I’m justified in needing to take a fucking second to think and process. A second I’m not going to fucking get now am I?  Because of you.”  She turned her head to the side in frustration but her eyes got caught on a small red light.  Her mouth dropped open.  “Are you recording this?” she yelled at him.  That complicated things considerably.  Now she needed to watch her words.  Now she needed to make sure she didn’t expose anything.  Well that just sucked even more.
“Well, it wouldn’t be much of a game show without an audience, now would it,” he purred.
She scowled at him.  “By all means, record this to watch later.  Most people aren’t looking to get bitch slapped as hard as you’re going to get so publicly, but to each their own, I guess.  But, consent is a thing and next time, keep me out of it.”
She strained against the ropes holding her hands to the chair arms.  She glowered at him when they proved too tight for her to move her wrists.  “Also, it’s already not much of a game show.  If you have to knock out people and tie them down just to get them to play, either your show sucks or your host does.  Or in this case, both.”
“Now, now,” he snarled, his smile considerably more strained than it had been before.  “We’re just testing the newest Wayne to see how you’re going to fit in.”
“I could have told you that without all this,” she glowered.  “But you wanted to be a big man and ask a question.  So ask your little question.  Be a big man putting a bound, petite, non-native English speaking woman, in her place.  Although if that’s what it takes to make you feel like a man, that’s one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard.”
Riddler seethed at her, attempting to keep his face neutral, but failing spectacularly.  One of the Waynes should be afraid of him.  He had been hoping the new one would finally give him a Wayne that cowered in fear.  Instead, he got yet another feral child.  He gripped his question mark staff tightly, fighting the urge to hit her with it.  It was too early to start.  She’d get her punishment soon enough.  He looked up with a grin.  Very soon.
He looked back at her with a sadistic smirk. “Fine.  I’d hate to keep a lady waiting.  Perhaps first I should start with the stakes.”  He moved closer to smile in her face.  “Think well on your answer young Wayne, because for every question you get wrong,” he pointed up with his staff, “a knife falls.”
Marinette let out a deep, annoyed sigh and looked up to see a series of knives tied to the ceiling right above her seat.  She sighed and gave him a flat look. “Really?  That’s the best you could do?  You realize what I’ve been faced with before, right? Or did you not do your research?”  She narrowed her eyes at him.  “You look like a man who never does his research.”
Riddler sidled up to her in a step, his face a few centimeters from her own.  “We can start by testing out the knives if you’d prefer.”
Marinette leaned her head back.  Even if she couldn’t talk him out of making one drop, it wasn’t going to get her.  They would miraculously get diverted just enough to miss her.  Luck could be a bitch when it was against you and he’d left too much up to chance.  “Already changing the rules of the game?  What were you saying about a good game show?  Guess you really don’t care.”
“Fine!” Riddler screamed.  He walked away a few steps and turned back to her with a malicious glint in his eyes.  “Let’s start slow, shall we?  Starting in 1881, this hall brightened Paris’ nights while darkening its satire.  What is the name of this baby of Salis?”
Marinette stared at him blankly for a few seconds. Her face went slack.
Riddler leered down at her, his face breaking into a creepy grin at her apparent inability to answer his question.  “Oh, how sad.”  He gave her a mock pout.  “Looks like the new Wayne isn’t so smart after all.  What do they see in you anyway?  Can’t even answer a simple, easy question.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”  Marinette finally burst out.
Riddler frowned at her.  Instead of the fear he expected, her voice was incredulous and angry. “That’s the question, if you can’t answer…”
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  That’s not a… You’re the Riddler.  That’s not a riddle!  That’s a… are you okay?  Like, seriously.  Are you okay?  Because I think… You know what?”  She took a deep steadying breath.  She opened her eyes to give him a serious look, completely devoid of fear, leaning more towards concerned.  
“I think you need a break.  I think you need to take a bit of time to reassess, refocus, and recenter yourself.  Then you can come back and be the Riddler I know you can be.  Because this,” she tried to motion toward him, “this is not it. That is... that isn't a riddle!  That's trivia!  You inaccurately named, evil Alex Trebek!  This would be a perfect opportunity to say I’m in Jeopardy, clueless asshole. So disappointed right now.”  She shook her head in disappointment, refusing to even look at him.
Riddler seethed at her, his face turning red with anger.  “Look either answer the question or…”
“THAT’S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!” she screamed at him. “It’s a question, not a riddle.  And you missed a golden opportunity to ask a follow up question and saying it’s Double Jeopardy.  You missed the obvious pun!  This is why I say you need to take a break.  This isn’t you.  You’re better than this, I know you are.  I’m just… I’m worried about your mental health.”  She gave him a concerned look.
“If you can’t answer…” he snapped at her.  He gripped and regripped his question staff menacingly, leaning toward her with a snarl.
Marinette rolled her eyes at the attempt at intimidation. “Of course I can answer.  I’m from Paris and you’re asking about Le Chat Noir? Of course I know the answer.  Let me guess, your next question is about a ladybug,” she chirped, widening her eyes with false excitement.
Her face dropped the false sweetness and turned back into an aggravated frown.  “That’s not the fucking point.  My point is you interrupted my fucking abomination of a night for this bullshit and you’re not even on top of your game.  So I not only get shoved into the spotlight, against my will, by people violating my and my parents’ privacy, forcing Mon… my father to ramp up plans for my introduction.  Making sure my family and I knew we weren’t safe and exposing me to this bullshit along with the other attempts on me since it happened.”
Her frown turned into a disgusted sneer.  “And I was actually afraid for a moment because I thought you were an akuma, but you’re really just an underprepared asshole. It’s insulting frankly.”
Riddler swung his question mark staff at her catching her across her cheek.  He grinned at the blood trickling down her cheek.  Marinette glared up at him but refused to let a grunt of pain pass her lips. “Next question, hopefully this one is more to your liking.”  His eyes took on a malevolent glint.
Marinette’s eyes flicked behind him.  He smirked at her inability to make eye contact any longer. “No,” she interrupted, a smirk forming on her own lips.  “It’s my turn.  I have one for you.  It’s actually in the form of a riddle, if you think you can handle that.”  The Riddler growled at her and moved closer to tower over her threateningly.  “What lights up the day with black against yellow yet lights up the night with yellow against black.  It brings hope to those who see it yet marks your demise.  What is it?”
Riddler narrowed his eyes at her and backed away to get some space while he thought.  He looked down for a second, searching the ground as though it might hold the answer for him.  He suddenly looked up, his eyes bright with realization.  “A signal!” he exclaimed, jumping with excitement.  His face suddenly fell realizing the words that passed his lips.  
He spun around just in time for Signal to punch him in the jaw.  Riddler stumbled back falling backward on his ass.  Signal stalked toward him, eskrima sticks out and ready.  He kept his eyes on Riddler but raised his voice so Marinette could hear him.  “You alright, Ma’am?”
“I’m fine.  Just pissed,” she grunted.  She focused on her bindings, trying to figure out a way to loosen them enough to get out.
Signal smirked and gave a short nod.  “Preying on young women again?  Not a good look for you.”
“Penguin and Scarecrow both tried and couldn’t get to her.  I did,” he said defiantly, his chest puffing out even as he was slumped on the floor. “Penguin got to the museum too early. Scarecrow got to the hotel too late. But me?  I plan better.”
“And got a verbal bitch slap the likes of which Gotham has never seen for your trouble.”  Signal shook his head in mock sympathy and regripped his sticks. “Publicly.”
Riddler sneered at Signal.  “It won’t happen again.”
“You’re damn right it won’t,” Marinette called from her seat.  She pointed at him threateningly with her now miraculously freed right hand.  “Next time I’ll do it physically too.”
Signal grinned proudly and snorted at her comment. Riddler growled before looking back up at Signal with an angry scowl.  “Looks like this show has come to an end.  But we’ll be back after a short break.”  He hit his staff hard on the ground and a gas started emitting from it, obscuring Signal’s view.  Signal backed away and rushed over to Marinette, uncertain if the gas was dangerous.
He pulled out a knife and quickly sliced through the remaining ropes and helped her get free.  “Can you walk?”
Marinette started sprinting toward the exit.  “I can do better than that,” she called over her shoulder.  “You just going to stand there and let the gas get you?”  Signal smirked and followed her out.
She grunted as her shoulder rammed into the doorframe when she miscalculated the distance.  She silently cursed how long it was taking her brain to recover from having been knocked out.  Now out of the room she stopped running and rubbed her head as if willing it to kick back into gear.
“You sure you’re okay?” Signal asked catching up to her.
Marinette couldn’t see his eyes under his mask but the bottom half of his face seemed to be contorted in concern.  She grumbled noncommittally in response and rubbed her shoulder.  She looked around them quickly.  “You sure this is a safe way out?  He has to have had help.  I don’t see him doing his own dirty work.”
Signal nodded.  “He did have help.  But, so do I.”  He nodded behind him.
Marinette craned her neck around him to look behind him. She cringed as she saw Red Hood kneeing someone in the face.  The goon fell limply to the ground, unconscious before he hit.  Red Hood looked up and ran over to them as soon as he spotted her.  “Pi… uh… pretty impressive mouth,” he stuttered.  He looked over her closely as he could without touching her.  His eyes zeroed in on her cheek.
Marinette stared at him for a few seconds missing the incredulous look Signal tried to give him.  “Um… thanks… I think.”  She blinked a few more times before frowning.  “Yeah, can we not talk about my mouth, please?”
Red Hood choked on nothing and shook his head, leaning away, as if trying to get away from the idea.  “I meant your att…” he shook his head again and looked back at her. “Not a problem.  Let’s never talk about it again.  Are you okay?  Did he hurt you anywhere else?”  His eyes scanned her again and stopped at her wrists.
Marinette rubbed her wrists self-consciously. “No…” she started.  “I mean!  No he didn’t hurt me anywhere else.  But I am okay,” she rushed out when she saw him tense up at her words.
“Where is he?” Red Hood growled, still staring at her wrists.
“Got away,” Signal answered.
Red hood rounded on him, his entire body tensed for a fight.  “What do you mean he got away?”
Marinette stepped between them and pushed Red Hood back gently.  “He released some kind of gas.  He got me out of there before we found out what it did.  Seems like a good move considering how he got me in the first place.”
Red Hood looked down at her for a second before looking up to Signal with a nod.  He remembered seeing the gas dissipating when they finally caught up to where she was taken.  It had looked like there was enough to knock out an entire city block.  Definitely overkill, but spoke to Riddler’s desperation to be the first to kidnap her.  “Idea which direction he went?”
Signal sighed a heavy sigh.  “I didn’t see which way he went but it had to be out the west side of the room, but that’s all I got.”
Red Hood nodded and touched his com.  “You got that?”  He paused for a moment listening to whatever was being said over his com.  “Yes, she’s fine.  A few rope burns and a cut on her cheek, but seems okay other than that.”
Signal nodded and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Do you have family we can call?”
Marinette shook her head absentmindedly, the strain of the night starting to hit.  “No, I can call my brother.  He’s probably terrified about me.”
Red Hood seemed to freeze.  “Just… the one brother?  You… aren’t you one of the Waynes?”
Marinette’s eyes widened and her face paled.  She plastered a smile on her face. “Right.  Yes.  Of course. I… I meant my one brother was with me at the time.  Yes. Yeah.  The Waynes are my family.  I’m a… I’m… Yeah, I’m a… Wayne,” she barely managed to get the word out of her mouth.  It felt wrong and foreign on her tongue.  She smiled wider at them.  “But you don’t… you don’t have to bother them.  They’re all busy.”
“Yeah, looking for you,” Red Hood answered back sharply.  “They’re the ones that called us.  They’re terrified right now.”
“I think they’d want to know,” Signal urged gently, his voice heartfelt and slightly pained.
She let out a bitter scoff before she could stop herself.  She squeezed her eyes shut and mentally berated her still drugged mind for letting that slip out.  “I meant,” she started loudly, “I’ll inform someone.  They’d want to… hear it from me,” she finished quietly.
Red Hood took a breath and moved closer to her, gently resting his hands on her shoulders.  “I promise you, they’re worried about you and they would want to know. They’d want to make sure you’re okay. They’d want to make sure you feel safe. They would want to protect you. In fact, I’d expect to see a lot more of them over the next few days.”
Marinette opened her mouth to answer but got interrupted by the police breaking into the room.  Marinette pursed her lips and seemed to let a calm come over her.  Red Hood looked harder at her change as the police led her off to take her statement.  No, it wasn’t calm.  It was a numbness, an absence of any feelings.  His face contorted into a scowl.  Exactly what Adrien had described.  “You get that,” Red Hood snapped into his com.  He waited a few seconds before shaking his head.  
“That’s a fool’s bet,” Signal scoffed.  “Of course she’s not going to.  She might send a text.  And even then I bet it won’t be much.”
Red Hood listened for a few more seconds before he shook his head again.  “I’m not taking that bet either.”  He watched as Adrien just stopped himself from tackling Marinette in his excitement to see her again.  After what looked like a worried conversation, he saw Adrien pull her into a tight hug and Marinette melt into it.  “We need to fix this and quick before B does anything else to completely destroy any chance we have,” Red Hood snarled.  He turned and started grappling away.  “I’m going rogue hunting.”
Chapter 17
Tags:
@maribat-bdbwm @jayjayspixiepop @redscarlet95 @alice-hazelwood @deathssilentapproach-blog @unoriginalmess @alyssadeliv @emotionalsupportginger @frieddonutsweets @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @toodaloo-kangaroo @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @iloontjeboontje @wolf-for-life @maribatserver @aespades @prettylittlebutterflie @imarivers8  @ certainmuffinbagelcalzone @ritacrow-blog @unoriginalmess @demonicbusiness @kking13 @lady-bee-fechin @blur-of-colours @kittenmywaythrulife @kashlyn @loysydark
170 notes · View notes
harusaki-hugo · 3 years
Note
Hiii! I would like to request a Emma sano x female or gender neutral reader where the reader is 16 and Emma went all out with the help of Hina and her brother Mikey and some other people, like rose petals, flowers and stuff like that and confessed to the reader and the reader feels the same way but turns down her because she’s too old for her since Emma is 13 in the past and it gets all angsty in the beginning but when they get older they meet and and date then get married and the ending gets really fluffy maybe they can have children as well. I hope you understand and take as much time as you need there’s no rush!
Warning: Grammatical error
Character: Sano Emma
Anime: Tokyo revengers
AU/Original: Au
Genre: Angst to fluff
Extra: Female x female
Note: My first Tokyo revengers request. I still catching up with the manga so sorry if I didn't get Emma's personality correctly. I might have overdone this...
Waiting.
Sano Emma x Female! Reader.
Tumblr media
" Don't you think this too much?" Takemichi sweat drop, early this morning he got a message from his girlfriend that she want to meet him at a park when he arrives he sees something unexpected.
Rose flower petals covered the ground, a balloon with the word "I love you" and even an unlit candle being placed in half circle. He then sees his girlfriend Hina along with his other friends.
Mikey is trying to wolf down a box of chocolate while Draken tries to stop him. Mitsuya is smiling happily, in front of the silver-lilac boy is Emma, she is wearing a beautiful dress, blushing slightly at what Hina said.
" What do you mean too much? Confession to [ name ] must be perfect!!" Emma glared at the boy making him raise his hands in defensive. " [ Name ] - senpai?" Takemichi remembers who that is, the first-year student of Shinjuku Academy. A gentle girl who has always been seen together with Emma and Hina.
He will not judge someone but on his mind, he did think that ' Aren't she too old for Emma ?' Yet the look on the younger girl makes him zip his mouth shut.
Night coming fast, you who just got a message from Draken ask you to come to the park quickly rush there. The boy did say it is important for you to come there fast. Panting slightly, you enter the park, looking around for the tall male.
Your eyes widen a bit when you see not Drake but Emma wearing a dress with your favorite color, hairstyle neatly, and on her hands are a bouquet of rose flowers. " Emma?" You are a bit confused by this, walking towards the girl you see her smile widen.
She then gives you the bouquet which you take with a bit of hesitance, "What the meaning of all this?" You ask awkwardly, Emma's face turning pink, she plays with a strand of her hair, gathering the courage.
Emma takes your free hand startling you a bit, looking at her you see she is serious, " [ Name ], I know this is weird for a girl to like a girl but I don't care. You are a beautiful, kind, gentle, and the most amazing girl I ever know. I don't want anyone to take you away from me that why, will you be my girlfriend?" She confessed.
You lick your dry lips, looking anywhere except for the girl, " E-Emma..that speech is beautiful.." Your word makes her beam at you but soon it falls when she sees your apologetic face.
"But I can't... I'm sixteen..you thirteen... You are too young for me. I don't think this relationship will work." With a heavy heart, you let her hand go, " I only see you as my...." You bit your lips, swallowing down the regret, "My sister... I'm sorry.." You smile bitterly at her before you walk away.
Emma stares at your fading figure disappear completely, one by one her tears slide down her cheeks. "Emma.." Mikey approaches his sister, he gently places his hand on the girl's shoulder and that is the last straw, Emma falls on her knee crying out her pain.
Hina quickly wraps the girl in her embrace, comforting the girl. Takemichi knows this will happen but he knows something else, looking towards the way you disappear he knows you feel the same pain.
You too like the younger Sano but it is the age that prevents you guy's love. Emma is still young and you are too old for her, if you two get together what will society say? What will the other say? It's okay if they talk about you buy you don't want anyone to talk bad about Emma.
Love is beautiful yet it is cruel .
Twelve years have passed, you now are [ dream job ]. It's been a long time since you see any of your friends especially the Sano family. There is no way you can meet any of them after rejecting Emma. To this day, you regret your decision but that is what for the best. " [ Name ]- senpai?!" You hear a familiar voice turning around you see a beautiful blond woman looking at you with wide eyes.
You stare at her trying to remember who she is, your eyes widen when you recognize the female, "Emma?!" She smiles happily when you remember her, approaches you, she gives you a smile that you miss. " How are you? Isn't been twelve years." You nod your head rubbing the back of your neck.
"Yes, I'm doing great." Looking away, you try to hide the heat rising to your cheeks, " You grown-up beautiful..." Emma blink a few times before her face turn red, " Y-you too! You look really beautiful.." This is getting awkward, bitting your lips, you let out a heavy sigh.
"Emma ... About what happens that day.." She stops you before you can continue smiling a bit forcefully, "No, it's okay!! I understand, I understand why you reject me." She tries to put on a cheerful face, looking around, " Are you with your partner?"
You shake your head frowning, " No...I don't have a partner..how bout you?" She too shake her head, you let out a small 'ooh'. Seeing Emma for the first time in twelve years, she has grown into a beautiful woman, this makes your heart beating faster. If she still hasn't had any boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe just maybe, you can finally make a move? After all, you two have already grown into adults, if you two get into a relationship, no one will judge you two, except for homophobic but screw them.
Gathering your courage, you take Emma's hands, she looks shocked by this, shyly looking at your eyes, " Emma, d-do you want to go on a date with me?" You shut your eyes tightly, waiting for any rejection but you feel her squeezing your hands.
"I-i love too.." You two smile brightly, face turning pink .
One date turning to a hundred. All of your friends supporting your relationship, though Mikey kinda threatening you earning a slap of the head by his sister. Two years you guys having a relationship, you two decide to take a further step.
Wearing a dress wedding make by Mitsuya, both of you hold back the tear threatening to fall. You smile at the woman of your life, she looks absolutely beautiful, Emma stares at you in the eyes, she too thinks you look beautiful in that dress.
"Welcome! We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of [ last name] [ name ] and Sano Emma. This is not the beginning, but a celebration of the next chapter in their lives together. Today, they will affirm this bond formally and publicly. This affirmation is made even more meaningful because it’s shared with all of you, their most cherished friends and family.[ Name ] and Emma, today you not only marry the right person, but you also commit to being the right partner—the one with whom the other can stand and face the world. It’s time to joyfully seal this chapter with the declarations that will unite you in marriage."
"Do you [ last name ] [ name ] take Sano Emma to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not-so-good times, for richer or poorer, committing yourself unto them for as long as you both shall live?"
You nod your head, " I do." You say with a voice full of love, eyes not taking off from Emma, the priest then looks at Emma.
"Do you Sano Emma take [ last name ] [ name ] to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, committing yourself unto them for as long as you both shall live?"
She nods her head, " I do." She answers confidently.
" You may now kiss the bride." You softly kiss the female, pouring all of your love into the kiss as you hear all of the former tomans and your friends cheer for you two.
That what happens three years ago, you look at the pictures of your guy's wedding with loving eyes, "Mama looks so beautiful, right?" You look at your adopted son, to see him already sleeping. You giggle and kiss the top of his head, "Sleep well shin.." You muttered.
Emma wraps her arms around you looking at the boy "Oh, he already asleep?" She then presses a kiss on your cheek. " Hey there darling, how's dinner with Hina?" You ask her, she nuzzles against your neck sighing tiredly, "Eh, it's was great until Takemichi decide to crash our dinner with Chifuyu." You laugh, caressing her cheek, you softly say, " I love you.." Emma's face turns red, hiding her face at the crock of your neck she too with a loving voice says, " I love you too.."
151 notes · View notes
reginarubie · 2 years
Text
The younger, more beautiful Queen - Cersei and Sansa (and Daenerys and Margaery; and Brienne of Tarth)
When Cersei recalls Maggy the Frog's prophecy about her being casted down by a younger, more beautiful queen we were all ready, thinking that younger, more beautiful Queen was supposed to be Sansa; then Margaery entered the picture and how could anyone actually ignore the dragon queen in the east and the threat she posed to Cersei and everything she stood for?
At which point many theorized each and every of three girls, younger and all described as beautiful may be the younger, more beautiful queen and would fulfill a part of Cersei's prophecy, each taking something she cared for from her. Which has many merits, especially thinking about how much Martin dislikes prophecies and likes playing around with them nudging towards the realization that we as people are the one who make our own destiny with Cersei being the real catalyst of everything Maggy the Frog prophetized for her.
Under the cut, my own personal vision of this prophecy and why I think that, no matter who will actually cause Cersei's downfall directly, Sansa (assuming she ending as QitN is also book!endgame, which we have good reason to believe it shall be so) is actually the younger, more beautiful queen.
People way more talented than me have already talked about this matter, but I wanted to give my input about it as well because I like to talk and this has been sitting in my files way too long and now I've decided to share with you all to see what you think about it.
Beneath her golden curls, the girl's face wrinkled up in puzzlement. For years after, she took those words to mean that she would not marry Rhaegar until after his father Aerys had died. "I will be queen, though?" asked the younger her.
"Aye." Malice gleamed in Maggy's yellow eyes. "Queen you shall be ... until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear."
Anger flashed across the child's face. "If she tries I will have my brother kill her."
Maggy 's prophecy has haunted Cersei all these years since first the words had been uttered and it's no wonder. Now, we know Cersei married the king - Robert Baratheon, first of his name - after he had won the Realm through conquest and we also know that the other part of Maggy's prophecy, about Cersei having three children and the King many more than her. So it stands to reason that this part may also come to be true in some way or the other.
Though show!canon has derailed and distanced itself from book!canon, it must hold some kind of importance that Cersei asks Jaime to find Sansa and kill her especially if we connect it with what child Cersei told Maggy the Frog "if she tries I will have my brother kill her"; while she easily, in the show, decides she will be the one to cause Margaery demise as well as Daenerys's.
But let's break the prophecy and try to determinate what exactly it may mean to Cersei now.
Maggy tells her that she will be the Queen for a time, which we know to be the truth, and that she will have three children while the king (Robert) will have over seventeen. She also tells Cersei that one day another may come, that she will be younger and more beautiful.
Note, the first person we know Cersei describes as beautiful, by her words, is Sansa both in show and the book.
In the very first episode of the series, when Martin was still very much part of the writing process of the episodes, Cersei comments on Sansa's beauty and on how it would be wasted in the North (foreshadowing in my opinion Sansa growing past her enamourment with beauty and return North to stay, but I digress).
While in Sansa VI, AGOT, she states "such a beautiful child. I do hope you know how much Joffrey and I love you"
Also, note that this is said about Margaery Tyrell in AFFC in Cersei III: “When all the vows were spoken, the king and his new queen stepped outside the sept to accept congratulations. "Westeros has two queens now, and the young one is as beautiful as the old one," boomed Lyle Crakehall, an oaf of a knight who oft reminded Cersei of her late and unlamented husband.”
(Guess maybe it can’t be Margaery after all tho I do remember someone saying someone else, someone younger — Catelyn about Sansa — would grow even more beautiful than she was and though she did not mean to confront Sansa with Cersei, but with herself, the phrasing did stuck me as strange)
So this girl coming to cast Cersei down will be younger (and all candidates for the place are younger than Cersei) and more beautiful (now this could be as simple as a math count of how many times each candidate is described as beautiful and confront that number with Cersei's).
The counts now stands as following:
Sansa: 18 times (without sharing those times with anyone, all on her own; 2 times she is defined as more beautiful than someone older)
Tumblr media
Drawing by @innocent-enyo; sorry I took your pics, I fell in love with them! If it bothers you I will take them down!
Cersei: 17 times (thyo sometimes shared with Margaery so the counts, if we count the shared times with Margaery goes up to 20)
Tumblr media
Drawing always by innocent-enyo.
[honorable mention] Brienne of Tarth: 8 times (wouldn’t it be just perfect if Brienne did manage of convince Jaime to fuck loyalty and follow her instead of Cersei? Oh wait… that’s already show canon) after all if every girl can be the another younger, more beautiful who will take (something) everything from Cersei why not Brienne the Beauty?, especially since it’s said sarcastically yet she is far more fair and beautiful in character than Cersei is. I would appreciate the irony and the twist, all I am saying 🤷🏼‍♀️
Tumblr media
Drawing by Lucas Werneck.
Margaery: 7 times(of which 3 shared with Cersei)
Tumblr media
Margaery Tyrell by innocent-enyo as well.
Daenerys: only 5 times (?! I am surprised as well, tho to be fair she is described as the most beautiful woman in the world once and she was asked if she had grown more beautiful in a lapse of time, but never confronted to another older)
Tumblr media
Daenerys Targaryen by innocent-enyo again!
So we have a neck-to-neck between Sansa and Cersei.
And tho I do think each girl will fulfill part of the prophecy (to save Margaery from her marriage to Joffrey he is killed, which catalyses the series of events which brings to Tywin’s death and Myrcella’s; Brienne did convince in the show Jaime to leave Cersei behind for a time; Sansa took her legacy in a way becoming the second ruling queen of a kingdom of Westeros; Margaery in a way took away Tommen as well in the show since learning of her death he committed suicide; Daenerys took the throne and the promise of the child in the show) I think Sansa will be in the end the younger more beautiful queen because the stress on the prophecy is put on the fact that this Queen will take everything Cersei’s holds dear…
…what did Cersei want? [note; now we enter in the show only realm and book hypothesis of the story since we have yet to see the last two books]
To save and protect those she loved; she failed by her ultimate fault;
have the younger, more beautiful queen and enemy killed by her brother (lover)
To sit on the throne as queen regnant because she feels she deserves it.
To be with the man she loves publicly.
What did Sansa achieve by the end of the show:
She marched her troops South and managed to get Jon free and her plotting assured that her siblings were safe (they protected her as well)
Her “brother” (lover?, Martin I have faith in you) killed her rival (Daenerys) to protect her and their family.
She gains the North independence and is named Queen in the North and is the queen with the strongest power love and loyalty (“Ned Stark’s daughter will speak for them, she’s the best they could ask for” and “we didn’t choose you to rule us m’lady but perhaps we should have”)
I truly believe in the books she will end up (or it will be hinted at) with a man she loves or will grow to love.
So, imo, while each and every girl may take something from Cersei and perhaps none of them (fAegon I’m looking at you, sweetie) or only one of them will manage to directly cause her death and defeat in the end Sansa will be the younger, more beautiful Queen because all that Cersei held dear and wanted she managed to achieve and she will be remembered the way Cersei wanted to be remembered, which is ultimately imo the true meaning of Maggy the Frog’s prophecy.
120 notes · View notes
99liners · 2 years
Note
A and M for all members 😊
‘all the members’ they said. 👀
i know that all the tatemae men are not yandere but for the purposes of this ask, we shall assume so.
[this ask is part of the yandere alphabet prompt list.]
kaiho:
Tumblr media
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? — already answered here.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
i would not say his work persona and his home life persona is drastically different because he does not really bother to look like a good guy in front of others. yes, he would not react in a crash manner, would keep his temper in check cause he is a senior detective and has to keep up some standards but he is not going out there trying to colour himself any different. pretty much any one can figure out his personality. he is an open book.
of course, with you, he is more raw, undefined, unclassified. with you, he comes undone, all his restraints disappear.
enouement:
Tumblr media
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
dr!taehyung’s love language.
he is not the intense, passionate type of guy. he is pretty laid-back, chill and is very calculative of all his moves.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
oh, immensely drastic distinction with how he is around everyone vs. how he is with you. to the world, he is the do-good sweet doctor who is constantly devoted to his work for the betterment of the society. 
to you, he is a narcissistic asshole who won’t stop at anything to make you feel small. he lives to see that look of disdain on your face, that look of constant helplessness when you feel suffocated by the environment he creates.
nodus tollens:
Tumblr media
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
choreographer!pjm’s love language.
intense with pjm? he is already intense, everything with him is a life and death situation where you always have to pick the right choice, if you do not then expect to be blamed cause you are the bad guy. in regards to love and affection, my my, he would suffocate you with his constant presence all over you when he feels like it.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
oh, to everyone else, he is an angel descended from heaven. soft, smooth sweet. his dance is poetry in motion, his movements are the epitome of fluidity and his voice is a sweet nectar that always helps to soothe any trainee who is breaking down under too much pressure. he is a true mentor.
to you, bb, you know better. he is the devil in flesh, the angel wings sawed off by God himself and thrown down into the deepest circles of hell. he is clingy, annoying, frustrating, overbearing and obsessed.
adronitis:
Tumblr media
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? — already answered here.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
knj is pretty much the same with everyone else. a patient, smart, intelligent, soft-spoken guy who is always worrying about experiments and citing his papers in a proper manner.
psychomachy:
Tumblr media
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
hotelier!jhs’ love language.
well, there is a plot of land on the moon under your name, not to mention the fleet of vintage and expensive cars he keeps gifting you. when a gift surpasses $500,000, you just know that he is trying to apologise for something or the other. loses sight of good and bad when he is getting something for you. six of his financial advisor have quit so far.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
much like knj, jhs is also pretty similar in both his professional and personal life. to you, of course, he bares his heart and shows his vulnerable side whereas publicly he is an emotionally shut-off person which is pretty much every normal relationship out there.
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
feedback is deeply appreciated.✨
series masterlist | au!extras masterlist | masterlist | bangtan masterlist | rules | ask box
- jaimie.
24 notes · View notes