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malecsecretsanta · 3 years

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Merry Christmas, cakelanguage!

For @cakelanguage. I hope this is fluffy enough with everything you wanted and that you love it!

Read On AO3

*****

A love like us comes with the brightest of halos

Every year like clockwork Alec would find on his desk sat under his morning cup of coffee the official invitation to the Clave Christmas party. It was always specially embossed with his name and title in silver ink on the envelope as though hoping that for once he would make an appearance to show that he was supporting the Clave’s most recent attempts to try and sort out the relationship between Downworlders and Shadowhunters which had been Alec’s biggest project since he had made the move the Alicante.

But the first year that he had seen that envelope what had stood out the most to him was how incomplete his name looked since it seemed to have been reverted to his name pre his and Magnus’ marriage back in New York which immediately had him narrowing his eyes. Though Magnus had claimed it didn’t bother him when he brought it up….not what the invitation was for because he had no intention of going, and that it was probably due to some bigoted HR member who either didn’t believe they were actually married or was part of that small portion of the Clave which still believed despite all his hard work that Shadowhunters should not be involved with Downworlders. Something that Alec was determined to fix.

That had since between corrected after he’d sent copies of their marriage certificates [both Clave approved and their official one sent to the New York office] to HR to Magnus’ amusement along with a letter explaining quite clearly that he and Magnus were married and he would appreciate being referred to as Inquisitor Lightwood-Bane from now on in an official capacity unless he stated otherwise. This had immediately resulted in a rather embarrassing letter of apology from the member of staff involved at the time which Magnus hadn’t been able to stop himself laughing at for at least a good month before burning it.

But every year when Alec saw the envelope there was always that knot in the pit of his stomach that he could never seemed to be rid of when it came to Clave approved functions. He had only been to a couple and that had been in his first year at Magnus’ insistence that he get to know some people he was working with so it would stop him from missing everyone he knew at the New York institute so much. He had tried but just because he had a higher title in the hierarchy now did not mean that it made him feel any more comfortable. True he had come out of his shell a little since he came, rather publicly, out of the closet but there was still the part of him that hated being the centre of attention out of some deeply engrained fear in his childhood that associated attention with punishment.

Not that he had had bad experiences at those events, he was well known after the battle of Alicante and his alliance with the Downworlders, but he always struggled with what to say and if Underhill, who had been transferred at his insistence as his assistant, hadn’t been there he probably would have resumed his usual role as the wall flower. It was just the way he had noticed every other person invited had brought their other halves leaving him feeling like he was missing a limb as was always the case when he had done something like that without Magnus.

But this year when he saw the letter, he bit his lip as he sunk into his chair and removed the coffee so he could look the invitation over when before he would have just thrown it into the trash without so much as a glance and told Andrew to send the organiser a thanks but no thanks RSVP.

With a sip of coffee, he leaned back into his chair and opened the envelope which revealed a magnolia card also embossed in silver writing completed with a fancy looking glittery border around the edge and angelic runes in each of the four corners. It was a standard invitation really, only made to look fancier and even though there was the increasing niggling to throw it out he instead settled for calling out to Andrew.

“Yes…. Alec?” Andrew asked, appearing through the doorway with his usual tablet and dressed in a higher than normal class suit which he knew by the way the other stood he was uncomfortable with but had worn to make Lorenzo happy much like Alec had in the beginning with him and Magnus.

It had taken Alec a while to insist when he took the role that Andrew did not need to call him Inquisitor Lightwood-Bane or sir when they were alone but every so often he would still slip up or take a while longer than necessary to address Alec like he was still trying to break the habit.

“Come in for a minute…I could do with asking you about something…” Alec said, watching Andrew step inside uncertainly before closing the door and sitting down on the otherwise of Alec’s desk.

“Sure, what’s up? It’s not about that meeting with the Seelie court is it? Meliorn has already tried to convince me for the fourth time that he is more than happy to speak to Jace instead of you if it’s an inconvenience.” Andrew sighed, though Alec knew as well as the other that as much as Jace would prefer to have an excuse to go the Seelie court Alec couldn’t let his parabatai act on his behalf this time.

“No, it’s not about that. But let me speak to Meliorn later, he really needs to just ask Jace out instead of coming up with excuses through me.” Alec said, Andrew nodding in agreement before putting his tablet upside down against the desk for the time being.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Andrew asked, taking the invitation when it was offered to him.

“About this….I’m thinking of maybe going this year….schedule allowing…” Alec said, watching Andrew take a glance at the date before turning his attention back to the tablet holding all his memorable appointments in the run up to Christmas.

“I think you should be free that night and even if you weren’t, I would still encourage you to make your excuses and go. You’ve been getting fire messages every year asking why you haven’t gone so far, and I think this might be a last-ditch attempt before they give up.” Andrew said, flicking through his calendar until he found the right date.

“Ok, I was just wondering…. does that extend to you too?” Alec asked, Andrew scribbling a note on the right paper to remind him of the appointment before looking at Alec again.

“I think if you want to invite anyone else that is at your discretion but why not Magnus?” Andrew asked.

“I am going to ask if he wants to come but I just wanted to know if there was at least the chance that you and Lorenzo might be there in case things get awkward considering Magnus hasn’t come to any other events in the past.” Alec said.

“You mean in case things get rather anti-Downworlder? But yes, if you want us to, I’m sure I can twist Lorenzo’s arm to come…. you know how he loves those things. But he won’t be the only one, I mean Helen and Aline are sure to be invited since it is for Heads of institutes as well as inquisitors and I doubt they would want to miss it.” Andrew agreed, scribbling a note to himself in the border of the current day’s page to fire message his other half about the event.

“And hopefully if I speak to Meliorn about it he might use it as an excuse to ask Jace to come along as long as he can keep him under control.” Alec said wistfully but Andrew seemed to be able to tell that was not the important thing on his mind.

“Are you worried about asking Magnus, Alec? I mean he may ask why you didn’t ask him sooner but I’m sure he’ll understand why, and I can’t imagine him turning down the chance to go to a party.” Andrew said.

“It’s not Magnus I’m worried about…. it’s everyone else who’s not so pro- the new direction on Downworlders we are taking. I mean I’m sure you’ve seen enough of my mail to know that not everyone is supportive to the notion and the last thing I want is to put Magnus in that position. I know it’s taken him a long time to fully settle in Alicante and the last thing I want to do is disrupt that.” Alec said, fidgeting with his wedding ring uncertainly.

Though Magnus had maintained from their wedding day that he would go wherever Alec did after he was offered the job as Inquisitor Alec had been ready to throw the offer in the bin and just continue to live their days out at the New York Institute like he had always wanted. But when Magnus was offered the role of first ever High Warlock of Alicante too, he had known that wasn’t going to happen. With Lorenzo still the High Warlock of Brooklyn there had been little reason for them to stay and he had known how unhappy Magnus would be sticking around in New York without an official role to help people like he was so used to doing.

But it hadn’t been easy being the first High Warlock in the city of a country that was still trying to wrap its head around all the changes being implemented where Downworlders were concerned. And though Magnus had tried to hide it, Alec had known it was feeling like an up hill battle for his husband when the vast majority of his work was intertwined with the Clave and his office was right in the middle of the Hall of Accords. In the first week, each time Magnus had come home he would immediately wrap his arms around Alec tightly and take shaky breaths against Alec’s neck as though trying to remind himself of why he was so hellbent on doing this to begin with.

And though Magnus had managed to charm a few people there was still a pretty big anti-Downworlders offensive which made Alec even more certain that he needed other Downworlders in their lives to even out the balance for the sake of Magnus’ sanity. It had seen Helen and Aline visiting more than once a month if their institute was quiet enough to allow them and with Andrew working in Alicante Lorenzo seemed more inclined to drop in every so often even if the other warlock’s presence seemed to aggravate Magnus more than help but Alec knew he appreciated it. They had hosted Catarina, Madzie and Tessa a few times but the other warlocks seemed to feel the same unwelcoming atmosphere and were always more inclined to just say in Alec and Magnus’ apartment through out their visits instead of venturing out into Alicante itself.

All of this had been the reason why Alec tried to steer clear of putting him and Magnus in a position where they would receive that negativity and another reason why he had put the invitations in the trash in the past. But maybe now it was time for him to show those he worked with that he loved Magnus, that their approval of his marriage was not something he needed and they would just have to get used to it.

“I know how much you love and want to protect Magnus, Alec but I can assure you that he can more than take care of himself. He has had centuries of dealing with all the prejudice and bigotry of being a Downworlder and has grown a thick skin. But if there does come a point where he can’t take it I’m sure he knows that you will be in his corner to shield him from the blows and that probably means more to him than anything. Just ask him…if he says no then that’s fine but don’t deprive him of the opportunity to make the decision for himself.” Andrew said, setting the invitation back on the desk in Alec’s direction before getting up.

“I guess you’re right, thanks Andrew. For the moment don’t ask Lorenzo until I’ve spoken to Magnus, I’ll let you know tomorrow.” Alec said, offering the other a smile of thanks as he retreated towards the office door.

“Of course Alec, It’s what I’m here for. But you might want to down that coffee quick, you’re meeting with the Consul starts in fifteen minutes. “ Andrew said over his shoulder as he walked out to his desk to grab some papers that Alec had asked for.

It left Alec to scold his mouth as he downed the coffee in one and grabbed a file from the top of the pile on his desk before following Andrew out the door.

That night when Alec finally had managed to get away from the office later than he had intended due to an overly long meeting with Meliorn where he tried to steer the other to just talk to his brother honestly instead of coming up with excuses to be around the other which from the pricks of irritability from his parabatai rune made it obvious that Jace knew what he was doing and wasn’t impressed in the slightest. He had at least managed to speak to Meliorn about the original reason for the meeting so that was something, but it did mean that when he got home Magnus was already going about his nightly routine.

“There you are, I was beginning to wonder if I needed to portal you home or not…” Magnus hummed as Alec wrapped his arms around his waist in a hug and pressed a kiss on the side of his neck.

“Sorry, I had a meeting with Meliorn and you know how much of a talker he can be when Jace is the topic of conversation.” Alec sighed, Magnus turning around in his arms and capturing his lips in a kiss so deep that it had Alec’s knees nearly buckling.

“Hm, I know and as I’ve told him over and over again that using Clave business as a reason to be around him isn’t going to work forever. But I am trying not to meddle too much, if Jace still isn’t ready to be with someone else after Clary left then we need to give him time, of course telling Meliorn that is like talking to a brick wall on any given day.” Magnus said, their foreheads touching as he brushed his silver painted fingers against Alec’s cheek soothingly. “Now have you eaten. I have put some dinner aside for you which just needs warming up.”

“Not since Andrew pushed a sandwich and coffee in my hand between meetings,” Alec murmured tiredly as Magnus tutted and pecked a last kiss to his lips before leading him towards the kitchen table and once he was seated turned to heat up the food.

Alec watched Magnus from the table, the way his husband who had to be exhausted himself seemed more fixated on ignoring his need for sleep to look after him, with a smile. He took the drink he was offered with a kiss to Magnus’ hand that had Magnus rolling him eyes at him fondly before he turned to checking that the Chinese was heated enough.

Once the food and utensils were in front of him he expected Magnus to disappear to bed with a last comment about putting the plates in the dishwasher and checking the cats had food in their bowls before he came to bed. Instead Magnus seemed fixated on joining him and sat opposite him at the table with a cup of green tea, entwining Alec’s shin between his own under the table so they were still touching while Alec was eating.

“So how was your day? Anything interesting that I need to know about?” Alec asked, around a mouthful of food that reminded him of their last date night in Shanghai what felt like years ago.

“Not so bad, mostly just catching up with other High Warlocks and checking in to see if there is anything they need. But I wasn’t in the office long enough to exchange words with anyone who wants me kicked out of the city if that’s what you were asking…” Magnus said, raising an eyebrow at him over his drink.

“Sorry, I know you are more than capable of handling things yourself. I just can’t help but worry about you…. call it my prerogative as your husband. The last thing I want to hear is that something or someone is causing issues and I don’t know so can’t help.” Alec said softly his gaze rested on his food though knew by the way Magnus grazed his foot up his inner shin that he was forgiven

“And I love you for being so worried about me darling, but nothing is going to change if you have to come to my rescue everytime someone looks at me the wrong way. I promise if anything serious happens you will be the first to know though things have been getting better a bit at the time over the last four years and that’s all we can ask for.” Magnus soothed, as Alec toyed with his food a little.

“I suppose.” Alec murmured, downing a mouthful of sweet and sour pork.

“Anyway, aside from your marathon meeting with Meliorn anything interest happen with you? I heard rumours through the hall that you were in a meeting with the consul about something…” Magnus asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“Just the usual update on the Downworlder-Shadowhunter alliance progress. I don’t know why Jia keep insisting on updates when I would tell her if there was anything she needed to know.” Alec said, stirring his food around in the sauce a little longer.

“I’m sure she has her reasons. Though I have managed to sign up another couple of warlocks for the alliance on a couple of my visits. They will be in contact with you to formalise it in the next couple of days, they were a bit iffy about that but I did assure them that even though you are an Inquisitor you are still my husband.” Magnus said, getting a nod of agreement from Alec whose mouth was full.

“There was something else….” Alec said once his plate was empty and he could talk before Magnus could conjure his plates in the dishwasher and herd Alec to bed.

“Can’t it wait? You look like you’re ready to fall asleep before we get you to bed at this rate…” Magnus asked toying with the tea bag as Alec put a hand on his own.

“Not really, I need to give my answer soon, but I wanted to discuss it with you first.” Alec said, stifling a yawn that had Magnus giving him a pointed look though he continued regardless. “I got an invitation to the yearly Clave Christmas party this morning…”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was one. I mean you’ve never mentioned it before….” Magnus said, tangling their fingers together with the close to empty mug now rested forgotten between the elder’s forearms.

“Because I never wanted to go before. You know how I feel about unnecessary socialising….” Alec said pointedly which got a nod of acceptance from his husband.

“Yes I do, but that does make me wonder what makes you want to go this time?” Magnus asked, letting his fingertips linger over Alec’s wedding ring.

“I thought maybe you would want to come with me? I mean only if you want to. I know that being in a room with the entire higher hierarchy of the Clave from Consul to Head of Institutes can’t exactly be considered the most entertaining party but I have a feeling if I don’t go this time they might give up inviting me which given I’m head of trying to bridge the attitude regarding Downworlders is not a good look.” Alec said, knowing he was rambling by the way Magnus let got of his ring and brushed his fingers soothingly over Alec’s palm.

“Darling, if you want me to be there then I will be there, there’s no need to be so worried about convincing me.” Magnus said softly.

“I just want to make sure you won’t be uncomfortable with any unwanted attention if I’m pulled into work conversations. Besides Helen and Aline will be there and I’ve already asked Andrew if he and Lorenzo will come too.” Alec said.

“I promise I’ll spend my whole night with Lorenzo and Andrew and Aline and Helen if it makes you feel better but I highly doubt anyone would really want to try anything at a Christmas party with bosses everywhere.” Magnus said, untangling one hand from Alec’s to conjure the dirty dishes away before getting up and tugging Alec’s captured hand. “Now come on, let’s get you to bed before you fall asleep at the table.”

“What would I do without you Magnus….” Alec murmured sleepily as he pushed himself up from his chair and let Magnus lead him in the direction of their bedroom.

“I shudder to think my darling,” Magnus said softly, kissing Alec gently on the jaw he closed the door behind them with a sparkle of magic.

After mentioning the party to Magnus, it was like a weight which had unknowingly been sitting on Alec’s shoulders had been removed. It left him feeling more assured about the situation which seemed to become even more certain after Andrew assured him that Lorenzo was looking forward to it and that they had already received a kind of informal follow up from both Aline and Helen in case Alec had not yet made his decision. But the closer it came to the party the more the previously silenced anxiety seemed determined to make a reappearance which had him going over the arrangements for that night with Andrew at least once a day in the lead up to the night itself.

“Alec you’ve got to stop worrying….” Andrew said, after reassuring Alec for the fifth time the day before the party that everything was sorted, and everyone was coming. Something which seemed to have been kickstarted again by the fact that Jace had RSVPed in Isabelle’s place as the Head of the New York institute representative, so at least one of his siblings was still at the institute, with Meliorn bringing up the rear though the fact the newly crowned Seelie king was making an appearance seemed to make those higher up the food chain a little uneasy.

“I know, the amount of sleep I’ve lost over this thing is well into hours and Magnus is starting to get worried about me. I just want everything to be perfect.” Alec sighed, scribbling random runes on a draft copy of the newest Downworlder-Shadowhunter alliance bill that was going to get redrawn up anyway.

“And It will be, but you just need to focus on what you can control that night. There’s going to be other Downworlders there to stop the backlash, I’m going to be there In case you need me to step in though I have a feeling everyone will be more focused on impressing King Meliorn that everything else will just seem insignificant in comparison. You just need to enjoy your time with Magnus which I know has been on the lacking side for the past few months.” Andrew said pointedly.

And there was no denying how true that was. It had been months since he and Magnus had managed to have any kind of date night in their apartment let alone go out anywhere together. If It wasn’t due to Alec’s own late-night meetings with various Downworlders keeping him tied to his office, then it was Magnus being called in for emergencies every which way at a moment’s notice. They did try every so often to come up with something and set time aside but something would always cause it to fall through leaving them instead waiting up for the other at home and spending the half an hour together it to took them to eat once they walked in the door before turning in for the night.

All the hours he spent in his role as Inquisitor seemed to put those he had been so used to as the Head of the New York Institute to shame and left him feeling exhausted everytime that a day off was called off or when their weekends were interrupted one way or another.

All of that was the reason he was so hell bent on making that night so perfect. A night that would give them some time to themselves, something to remember when they were chained back to their desks before the Christmas holiday started and they would find themselves pulled this way and that to different places to be with family or friends. They would definitely have to make sure to put time aside for themselves, but he had a feeling that would not be possible until at least New year’s.

“Yeah and that’s why this needs to go well…. but I promise this is the last time I ask. I need to look into the accords archives for an audit of signed paperwork by the Seelie court for these years, can you get Sylvia to pull them out for me?" Alec asked, pushing a paper covered in the titles of all the relevant accords with their years beside them towards Andrew who nodded.

“Ok as long as you are sure. I’ll send the list to her now, it’s not an urgent request is it?” Andrew asked attaching the list to his tablet’s case with a click.

“No, but tell her I would like them before Christmas if possible, it’ll give me something to look over.” Alec said stretching in his chair, Andrew scribbling the comment at the top of the list with a nod.

“Anything else you need before I get on with the paperwork for the presentation at the Vampire conference next week?" Andrew asked, though his attention seemed to dwindle at the sound of someone clearing their throat pointedly from the doorway.

“Lorenzo…nice of you to drop in. You hoping to take Andrew out for lunch?" Alec asked, offering the High Warlock of Brooklyn a smile when he appeared into view.

“Only if that’s ok with you Alec…” Andrew interrupted before his other half tried to bully his boss into him taking the rest of the afternoon off and casting the warlock a look of warning when he opened his mouth.

“Of course. Once you’ve sent that list you’re free to go for the next hour….I think I have an appointment with a Clan leader from Hanoi next which will keep me fairly busy while you’re gone.” Alec said, getting a wink of thanks from Lorenzo even as Andrew herded him outside and closed the door behind them.

It left Alec to turn his attention to the makeshift lunch which had appeared in a shower of blue sparkles earlier that day like Magnus knew his mind would be on anything but food that day and he hadn’t yet had the chance to touch yet. It gave him something else to focus on until the clan leader arrived and had him looking forwarded to the next night when he would finally get the chance to spend some quality time with his own Warlock for once.

The night of the party had finally arrived, and Alec had managed to get away relatively early with Andrew practically shoving him out the door before someone could try to get his attention and leave him running late. It left him now trying to decide what to wear as he waited for Magnus to appear since his husband had promised he would get away early even if it meant that he had to be shoved through a portal by his own assistant.

Alec had just showered and managed to settle on a suit that Magnus had brought him not long after they moved to Alicante as a congratulations on the new job present but had not as of yet actually been seen the corridors of the Accords Hall, when he heard the sound of a portal appearing in their lounge and paused from doing the buttons of his shirt in their room to check that it was actually Magnus.

“Ah you’re already here Darling, I thought I might need to drag you away from your desk.” Magnus beamed, from where he was setting his bag aside.

“Well I’m sure if Andrew had not been the one to push me out the office that I would probably still be there.” Alec smiled, pecking a kiss to Magnus’ lips as he passed him on the way to their room.

Soon the room was filled with the sound of music from the deep depths of Magnus’ side of the closet as his husband set about the task of deciding on what to wear despite the fact he had assured Alec he had already decided, although Alec didn’t doubt for a moment that he had already changed his mind at least three times since that conversation. It left Alec to finish getting ready, settling for giving the matching tie a miss and trying in vain to tame his hair in the mirror on Magnus’ dresser. He had just added a belt to his pants and grabbed his shoes when Magnus appeared with an outfit on a hanger in his grasp on his way out the wardrobe and flashed him a wink before the bathroom door closed behind him.

More than used to Magnus’ process for getting ready for a night out Alec settled on retreating to the lounge and checking in with those members of their crowd that were coming in the meantime. Aline seemed to be ready and was waiting for Helen to decide on her outfit since she was talking to one of their subordinates at the LA Institute about a situation they were currently having, though Aline had said she had tried to take the phone off her wife at least three times to take over Helen had sent her a look leaving her banished to the lounge in their wing at Penhallow Manor in the meantime,

By comparison Andrew was still stuck at the office, though when Alec asked he claimed it was nothing that couldn’t be handled another day and that Alec should just focus on the party which Alec appreciated but it still made him feel a bit guilty that Andrew was left to pick up his mess instead of getting ready himself with Lorenzo just so he could have a good time which he undoubtedly deserved.

That then left him to check in with Jace, who though he was staying at the Lightwood family home in Idris had recently been to see the Herondale Ancestral Manor and while he had accepted his lineage still did not completely feel like a Herondale after so long of being a Lightwood. By comparison to Andrew and Aline, Jace seemed to be as much of a wreck as Alec was which seemed to be amplified by the feelings bleeding through their shared rune. Alec knew all of that was more to do with him going on an actual date with Meliorn for the first time in Shadowhunter public and what it actually meant.

Alec spent a while assuring Jace that he did not need to feel guilty about what happened to Clary, that the redhead would have wanted him to be happy more than anything and that he owed it to himself after all he had been through for him to at least give Meliorn a chance. He did not doubt that if given the chance to prove himself as a worthy partner instead of Jace writing him off that Meliorn would be just the kind of match that Jace needed to help ease the lingering feelings that still remained for Clary.

“But I mean he’s the King now Alec, the damned Seelie king! Why would he even want to be with me to begin with? I just don’t get it….” Jace rambled from the other side of the phone, Alec watching out the corner of his eye through the open doorway to their bedroom as Magnus appeared from the bathroom.

He was dressed to impress like always, though it was a little more toned down than back when they were still dating. A crimson silk shirt that was open from his collarbone to midway down his chest with the material shimmering each time he moved and add to that a pair of black tight jeans seemed painted on to his figure and Alec could barely stop himself from drooling as Magnus disappeared from view to his dresser to finish getting ready.

“Jace, whether he is the Seelie king or not makes no difference. I mean if I remember rightly, he made his intentions towards you quite clear back when you were sharing the alliance rune together. Sometimes those kinds of things build bonds that shouldn’t be ignored, and you never know being around him might do you some good.” Alec said, biting his lip as he made himself get up from the couch to look out the window to distract himself from Magnus while speaking to his parabatai.

“I don’t know Alec…” Jace sighed, and it was clear that he was getting cold feet almost as though he was sure that this one date could spell the rest of his life being a kept shadowhunter in the Seelie court and it was something that Alec had never thought Jace would think of. He had always been the one-night stand type right up until clary walked into his life and it seemed to have changed his whole perception of relationships.

“I don’t know what has made you so fixated on the future suddenly but try not to think of it like that. Just think of it as a date, a date doesn’t need to mean anything more than that and if by the end of the night you can see yourself seeing him again then you can worry about what it does or does not mean for the future.” Alec said, soothingly hearing Magnus humming softly from behind him causing him to turn around and see his husband sat on their couch tying his shoes.

“Yeah, I guess that can work, thanks Alec. I should probably get ready then, he wants to meet up before the party, but I’ll see you guys there.” Jace said, his tone sounding a lot more certain than before as though Alec had managed to lessen his fears.

“I’ll see you there, bye Jace.” Alec said, hanging up and sitting beside Magnus to put his own shoes on, pausing to press a kiss to Magnus’ jaw causing his husband to smile at him.

“Is he a bit nervous?” Magnus asked, getting up to put on the leather blazer that had been sat beside him on the couch and fill the pockets with the essentials he needed.

“He seemed to be jumping the gun a little, sure that if he went ahead with this date that it would mean him being Meliorn’ s consort tied to the Seelie court forever or something. I think I’ve managed to make him see sense since it’s really just a first date at this point, but I doubt that Meliorn would let him go so easily.” Alec said, putting his own phone and wallet in his blazer pockets once his shoes were on.

“Well Meliorn is a Seelie….I mean he is the Seelie king sure and while they are usually not exactly known for being the most monogamous I doubt that Meliorn would be throwing Jace out his bed at any point to be with anyone else, which is strange because I never really saw Jace as his type.” Magnus said thoughtfully with a shrug. “You ready to go now?”

“Might as well, though I’m sure we might be early it might give us a chance to catch up with a few old friends.” Alec smiled, resting a hand on the small of Magnus’ back as he pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck causing Magnus to melt against him and cast him a look.

“You know you can be very distracting…” Magnus sighed, though turned his head and caught Alec’s lips in a deep kiss that had Alec willing to just say to hell with the party and steer magnus back to their room to unpeel all the clothes from his husband’s body. As if seeming to read Alec’s thoughts Magnus reluctantly pulled away. “Um….I swear we can get to that later….”

“You promise?” Alec asked nuzzling Magnus’ neck as his husband started to conjure the portal to the venue of the party.

“Oh believe me darling, all I will be thinking about tonight is the things I am going to do to you once we get back here.” Magnus grinned, sliding his hand into Alec’s and leading him through the portal.

They found themselves standing in the corridor outside the accord hall which seemed to have been redecorated for the occasion with sparkling snow flakes which seemed to have been bewitched with magic to make sure they didn’t melt and strings of tinsel which were entangled with star shaped fairy lights along the walls to direct people to the correct door. Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand once the portal closed behind them and led the way towards the door which seemed to be acting as the main entrance as all others they passed were locked.

A member of the Gard was stood outside checking off the names of people that were coming and he looked the couple over.

“Inquisitor Lightwood-Bane and High Warlock Lightwood-Bane, please come on through.” He said after checking them off and moving aside to let them pass.

The room seemed to have been rearranged from the usual hall setting that Alec was so used to seeing it as. Instead of the multitude of antique hard wood desks and multiple uncomfortable benches which Alec had more than enough experience with there were multiple tables dotted around the room all dressed with white table cloths and miniature Christmas trees covered in fake snow with silver decorations hung among the branches in the centre of each table. A temporary bar had been erected by the head chair where Consul Penhallow sat during any meeting along with a couple of tables either side where Andrew and Lorenzo seemed to have already found their way and were ordering their drinks.

Alec let Magnus lead the way towards the bar and order for them both, his husband immediately starting to talk to Lorenzo about how things were in New York, seeming to settle Alec a little as he stood with one arm around Magnus’ waist while his other hand picked up his glass of wine. He was perfectly content to let Magnus do all the talking and just take in the atmosphere, looking in the direction of the door just in case any of their other friends appeared.

Soon enough Helen and Aline appeared, the couple chatting animatedly among themselves probably about the situation that was happening back in LA but it seemed that even with their thoughts stuck in LA they had still wanted to make the effort. Both were wearing elegant dresses in festive colours though he knew Aline had probably only done at her wife’s insistence since she had always been a tomboy as long as he had known her, to the point that it had been a miracle to get her into a dress for his and Magnus’ wedding.

The couple also moved towards the bar, greeting Alec and Magnus warmly and being introduced to Lorenzo and Andrew that neither had met before. And once they all had their drinks they moved together as a group towards the tables to see if there was one allocated specifically for them but when they saw that wasn’t the case instead grabbed one in the middle of the room.

Alec pulled out a seat for Magnus who rolled his eyes at the gesture but was more than well acquainted with his manners appearing when he was still feeling out of his depths and settled for resting a soothing hand on Alec’s thigh under the table once he was sat beside him. Aline and Helen were thankfully too engrossed in getting to know how Andrew and Lorenzo had met to notice the exchange, but Alec was sure Aline had noticed and would give him hell for it later.

The hall began to steadily fill with other Inquisitors appearing at the table to speak to Alec and either exchange pleasantries with Magnus if they hadn’t met him before or catch up on his work and express an interest in his next big project if they had. Other Heads of Institutes that Alec had met or at least been acquainted with back when he was the Head of the New York institute came to his table to catch up though there were quite a few new faces that only knew him as Inquisitor Lightwood-Bane who seemed to steer clear. Jia had appeared at some point but avoided their table probably preferring to speak to Aline somewhere less public meaning that they still were on rocky ground and made Alec glad that she didn’t try to put him in the middle.

Soon everyone was seated, but from the buzzing around them Alec knew they were waiting for Meliorn and by extension Jace to appear though they seemed to be cutting it fine making Alec wonder if they had decided to give the party a miss and do something less public instead. Although by the jittery feeling from his parabatai rune that didn’t seem to be the case meaning Meliorn had just wanted to be fashionably late since he knew people were expecting him.

“Why does everyone keep looking at the door? Are we expecting a special guest or something?” Aline asked when someone appeared with her second drink.

“You could say that…King Meliorn hasn’t exactly been very public since he was crowned.” Magnus shrugged, though the way Helen stiffened made it clear she didn’t know about the change in the throne.

“King Meliorn….when did that happen?” Helen asked, though before either Alec or Magnus could give her a reply there came a ripple through the crowd that caused them all to turn and look towards the doorway to see Meliorn appearing with Jace beside him, the blonde trying to ignore the attention but Alec knew it wasn’t easy.

“Whoa….Jace and Meliorn? When did that happen?” Aline asked, her gaze pinned on the couple as Meliorn led Jace towards the bar.

It’s a long story…. but whatever you do don’t stare. Jace is already pretty edgy about the whole thing, I think he wishes Meliorn had chosen some place less public for their first date.” Alec said, watching Meliorn try to reassure Jace by keeping his attention on him instead of on the crowd of his peers who were watching them.

“That is typical Meliorn though…” Helen sighed, taking another sip of her drink as she let her gaze linger over the newest member of royalty that she would have to speak to at some point or another.

Alec watched as Jace started to lead Meliorn towards their table only for a member of the Gard to stop them and gesture to a table that seemed to have been set up specially for Meliorn in an attempt to get on his good side. But after taking a glance at Jace, Meliorn declined the offer and rested a reassuring hand on Jace’s arm as he led the way to the table.

Once they were seated the food started to be served and it left them enough time to try and talk while they ate. Helen seemed to be the one who was determined to engage Meliorn in conversation about his new role but the other merely said to come and see him in Faerie at some point and he would gladly tell her everything before turning his attention back to Jace in a way that had his parabatai flushing as he tried to answer his question.

Alec and Andrew mostly ate letting their other halves fill the silence with conversation about potion ingredients they were lacking, fellow warlocks they had seen or not seen for a while and topics that they wanted to bring up at conferences. Every so often Alec with let his hand linger on Magnus’ thigh or catch his hand for a kiss to the back earning an adoring smile from his husband even as Lorenzo rolled his eyes and murmured something to Andrew about how whipped he was that had Magnus giving the other a look.

“Oh I don’t know Lorenzo, I seem to recall hearing rumours about how you loved to be whipped back in the 60’s unless I heard wrong of course…” Magnus quipped causing the other to flush minutely behind his Old Fashioned.

“Yes well….it was the sixties….i haven’t done that for quite a while…” Lorenzo said, at the enquiring look that Andrew sent in his direction.

“Oh I’ll bet…” Magnus murmured under his breath as Alec set his utensils on his empty plate. “Darling, could you get me another drink?”

“Of course, same again?” Alec asked, picking up Magnus’ glass as he got to his feet.

“Thank you love.” Magnus smiled, pecking a kiss to Alec’s cheek before he left the table in the direction of the bar.

He arrived at the bar to find Cody Nightshade from the Helsinki Institute and Mika Castel from the Auckland Institute chatting away with Christopher Makepeace from the Melbourne Institute, though the trio quickly veered off when they spotted Alec was there.

“Hi, my husband will have the same again thanks.” Alec said, with a smile at the bartender before turning to look at the three one of whom avoided his gaze like what they had been saying related to him. “Nightshade, Makepeace, Castel, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you all back in Idris.”

“Yes, well with everything being so busy at the moment that I was lucky to get away in the first place. A few too many nests have popped up around the country so we’re having to juggle each individual state since they don’t all have their own institutes.” Christopher said, while Nightshade seemed determined to not look at Alec at all.

“Is that the same with you Castel? I know that one institute covering multiple islands can be a bit hard to deal with.” Alec asked, Mika sipping his drink.

“Especially when that institute isn’t in the centre of the country as would make sense. By the time we manage to get down there or inform the Manila institute for back up the demon responsible has already killed the mundane or the nest itself has been moved on from the last recorded spot. Maybe if we had the option of a similar structure to London in New Zealand then it might make it easier for us to keep things under control.” Mika suggested, Christopher nodding in agreement.

“Something to maybe speak to the Consul about, I’m sure she would be able to see the benefits to that in places which historically aren’t known for having multiple bodies around to cover all bases. But if you would prefer for me to be involved in the conversation with the two of you just send me a note and I’ll be more than willing to help. ” Alec said, thoughtfully as the bartender appeared with Magnus’ topped up glass. “What about you Nightshade, everything working better in Helsinki after the recent restructure?”

“Pfft, is that what you call it? We’ve been inundated with more Downworlders than actual Shadowhunters since, I don’t see what use they are when we were dealing well enough without them.” Cody snorted, shaking his head.

“As I recall your institute was one of the lowest performing before the restructure and from the last report that came across my desk productivity seems to have tripled since the High Warlock and Clan Leader started allowing their communities to get involved. Besides there is not enough staff volunteering to be in Helsinki to begin with, something had to be done otherwise it would have been closed.” Alec said carefully though he could feel the atmosphere change especially by the way that the other two Institute Heads remained shtum about the direction the conversation was taking.

“But maybe if the structure weren’t so focused on bringing Downworlders in and more on dispatching bodies evenly to Institutes regardless of preferences it would be different. Not that I would expect you to consider anything of the sort.” Cody huffed.

“And what exactly do you mean by that?” Alec asked, his tone shifting from friendly to what Magnus called his ‘Inquisitor’ voice that demanded respect and had been used in more than one of his meetings with difficult people.

“Well ever since you were made Inquisitor all you’ve done is try to bring them in. I mean you even married one of them and then managed to negotiate the condition of you taking the Inquisitor role so that he got a role of his own. And that’s not even counting the alliance that you started to get them more proactive in the accords process. Why don’t you just kick all Shadowhunters out and give them to the keys to every institute?” Cody sneered, downing a mouthful of his drink.

“Because that would be the complete antithesis of what I am hoping to achieve. Yes, I may have married a Downworlder but not just because he is a Downworlder. My husband has had to endure centuries of bigotry and prejudice because of who he is and yet despite it all the reason he lives and breathes is to look after people and be there for people when they need him. That kind of humanity and love deserves nothing but our respect and praise let alone a role made specifically for him to thrive in. Sure we could have continued on the path of ridicule and segregation, where we continued to look down on them as underlings but we would be missing out on key skills and resources to streamline what we do.” Alec said, sternly not appreciating the fact that all the joy he had been experiencing through out the night was being shattered to pieces because of one of the very people he had been hoping to avoid.

“And the fact that he gives it to you good has nothing to do with it I’m sure.” Cody smirked, causing Alec to narrow his eyes.

“What the hell did you just say?" Alec demanded, feeling his patience wearing thin at the attitude of the other though his attention was soon diverted at the sound of his name being said in the melodious voice of his husband who seemed to have approached them during the conversation.

“Darling he isn’t worth it. He’s probably had too much to drink that’s all, just come back to our table.” Magnus soothed, approaching Alec, and resting a reassuring hand on his own that was curled in a fist which would have easily connected with the other’s jaw if he hadn’t been stopped.

Alec let out a shaky breath to steady himself and uncurled his hand so Magnus’ fingers would tangle between his own and while Magnus grabbed his new drink, Alec offered Castel and Makepeace looks that had them removing the glass from Cody’s hand and steering him towards the door. He let Magnus lead the way back towards their table, squeezing Alec’s hand reassuringly as the indignation of what he’d heard continued to make his hands shake.

“You OK?" Alec asked when they sat down, Magnus offering him an adoring look that confused Alec for a moment.

“Darling, I’ve just heard the man I love and cherish more than my very being standing up for me with words so beautiful and eloquent about his love and respect for me as a person let alone as a Downworlder. I couldn’t be more ok if I tried.” Magnus said softly, causing Alec to flush a little as he looked down into his own half-finished drink.

“You heard all that huh?" Alec asked, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Kind of hard not to. I was just wanting to check if you wanted another drink yourself and instead, I’m gifted with the most complimentary words you’ve ever said since our wedding vows.” Magnus smiled, cupping Alec’s cheek and brushing his thumb against his jaw.

“Well every word of it is true. I just don’t understand why some people don’t see how beneficial an alliance would be, bringing the gifts that Downworlders have into the organisation just seems like a no brainer and yet there are still ridiculously stubborn people that can only see the downsides.” Alec sighed, though when Magnus kissed him, he knew he had said the right thing.

“Now if only the whole Clave thought the way you do darling.” Magnus murmured, with a promising smile that Alec knew meant they were leaving soon, and he couldn’t wait.

“Here, here.” Meliorn chipped in, breaking the moment between the couple, and reminding Alec that they had had an audience ever since they returned to the table.

“You think so Mel?" Jace asked, brushing his fingertips along his date’s arm until their hands met.

“Definitely, I mean everyone in the Downworld never doubted that you love Magnus Alec. We just never realised how much you respect him too. To be fair, we always have given how long he has been around and how much he helped during the two uprises but to hear it from the Shadowhunter who loves him the most, it really make you appreciate the kind of relationship the two of you have.” Meliorn said softly, his free hand curled around his glass of Seelie wine while the other engulfed in Jace’s grip gave the blonde’s a squeeze.

“Without a doubt.” Lorenzo agreed reluctantly, though his gaze was rested on Andrew who gave him a soft kind of smile that made it clear he felt the same way about the other.

“Anyway, I think we’ve had enough excitement for tonight don’t you Alec? Time to go home.” Magnus said, after downing his free glass of wine in one.

“Really? I thought you’d want to enjoy the rest of the night and I’m fairly sure there’s a couple of new inquisitors I haven’t got to meet yet.” Alec asked with a raised eyebrow.

“And normally I would darling, but let’s just say I think we need somewhere less public for me to show you how much what you said meant to me. After all I did promise we could pick up where we left off later, didn’t I?” Magnus murmured low into Alec’s ear, the timbre of his voice easily making Alec give in and get up from the table the rest of his meal and drink forgotten.

“We should catch up after Christmas, maybe have a dinner or something at New Year’s.” Aline suggested, a knowing twinkle in her eyes as Magnus got up from his chair and let his hand rest on Alec’s side.

“I’ll ask Izzy if you and Helen can from over for Christmas if you want. I think Alec might prefer that he and Magnus keep New Years just for them.” Jace said, winking at Alec who mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ at him.

“Have a good night all and Andrew don’t worry about coming in early tomorrow I think you deserve a half day off after dealing with my paperwork this afternoon.” Alec smiled at the group as Magnus led him towards the door with his hand sliding down to rest on his waist with the obvious intention of going lower which was thankfully obscured by the pair turning the corner and passing through the waiting portal.

Needless to say, it was a party that no-one was ever going to forget in a hurry.

Fin.

#cakelanguage #malecsanta20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

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krisiunicornio · 4 years

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“Antiracism Meditation,” a new album by two lifelong friends, one Black, one white, addresses the full spectrum of systemic racism.

“Racism against black people is not just a white thing,” says Iman Gibson, 32, a dedicated meditation practitioner and founder of the wellness coaching brand Brocollete and one-half of the duo that released a trio of guided meditations for antiracism today. Tori Lund, 33, a yoga teacher, classically trained vocalist, and singer-songwriter in the country rock band Few Miles South is Gibson’s lifelong friend since the seventh grade and spiritual collaborator.

They discovered a shared passion for yoga and meditation during their first yoga class together at their alternative, mostly Jewish middle school in Santa Monica, California, where the teacher played Sade’s “Lovers Rock” album on repeat. They attended life-skills classes where they “sat in a circle, burned sage, and talked about their feelings,” Gibson says, adding that despite their “hippie-ish” upbringing, she was still the only Black kid in school. She considers Lund, who describes her family as the epitome of white American culture and Christianity, as her first white friend. But even then, both Gibson and Lund would describe their childhood as a progressive liberal bubble. It wasn’t until after high school and college when Lund moved to Blakely, Georgia, about three hours south of Atlanta, and Gibson to the Bay Area, that the veil was lifted and they began to see racism in America through what they describe as a 360° perspective.

That perspective, however, is not limited to Black and white. Gibson says she’s been discriminated against by other people of color, or, as she puts it, people who don’t look like her. “The problem I see with a lot of the narrative around anti-Black racism and allyship is that it’s specifically being targeted at white people,” Gibson says.

See also How Restorative Yoga Can Help Heal Racial Wounding

The Catalyst for Collaboration

Following the murder of George Floyd and in wake of the protests and global outrage that ensued, Gibson and Lund became inspired to create a unique trifecta of guided meditations that would help any person, white or otherwise, dismantle their biases, own their allyship, and cultivate compassion. The entire project, a healing salve and labor of love for the two friends, was recorded remotely—Gibson from her broom closet in her Oakland apartment and Lund at her recording studio. The ambient, atmospheric guitar sounds that accompany the meditations are played by Lund’s partner and bandmate, Blake English, who also engineered the sound.

Their album, “Antiracism Meditation,” will be available on iTunes, Spotify, and other streaming platforms, as well as the Insight Timer app, where Gibson and Lund will soon offer an antiracism course. As a bonus, the album also includes several antiracist journaling prompts to deepen self-inquiry. Gibson and Lund say that any profits earned from the album will be donated to a still-to-be-determined nonprofit such as the ACLU or Color of Change. “Antiracism Meditation” follows Gibson’s first guided meditations album, called Re:Fresh and released in 2018.

See also Blogger Mia Caine On Conscious, Inclusive Wellness

A Special Preview of "Antiracism Meditation"

See also Teach Your Child this Meditation for Positive Energy and Keeping an Open Mind

A Q&A With The Creators of "Antiracism Mediation"

We spoke to Gibson and Lund to learn more about their creative process and how their meditation album can help listeners unpack their privilege.

This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.

YJ: How did your friendship provide you with the perspective to create something constructive to address this tough topic?

Lund: We have a deep level of trust. Race and racism have been a part of our conversations for a long time. Some of that is realizing behaviors I've had that have been problematic, or friendships and relationships with people that have exposed things that I've overlooked that are problematic and have been potentially harmful for Iman or for other people of color. I've been able to move through a lot of the discomfort that I think other people who look like me experience when they're trying to have these conversations, or when they look at themselves deeply and realize how they might be contributing to racism in our society. I could relate to that again when we were making these meditations and I wanted to make sure that piece was in there. I think it prevents a lot of action from people when you don't deal with feelings of defensiveness, guilt, or shame. If I had not had this friendship, I don't think I would have been able to look at privilege honestly.

Gibson: My mother grew up in the segregated South in Texarkana, Texas, where she had to drink out of different water fountains from other children. Before she moved to California, I think my family had this view of what America was and that there were so much racism and discrimination toward people who looked like me. They wanted to protect me so that I wasn’t mistreated. I grew up in West LA, so I didn't really believe that America was as racist as it is until I got older. But institutionalized racism exists in California as well, it’s just harder to see. Even if you look at some yoga studios; I would rarely see people who looked like me at studios in Santa Monica, even the donation-based ones. When I moved to the Bay Area and really started to open my eyes to racism, I’d notice it in schools, in places I’ve worked, and in the wellness industry where you have the appropriation of Indigenous healing cultures. Even in my spiritual and Buddhist studies, people of color are often overlooked. That's been emotionally very hard for me, but having a friend like Tori who cares about me, my life, my culture, and my people, I think what we've been able to explore in our relationship and our sisterhood—being able to use the wisdom from our spiritual practices—is so much more powerful together than anything we could do on our own. And not just because we're a Black woman and a white woman, but because we’ve both lived in the same place and then gone our separate ways to experience very different parts of the country.

What was the process of cowriting remotely from opposite coasts like?

Lund: We collaborated on every meditation. I could speak to the first one because I have privilege and internalized racism—and I didn’t realize it as deeply until I did this project and was in a constant state of asking questions and hearing perspectives. We tried to provide as many viewpoints as possible, so it was a lot of editing and back and forth.

Gibson: Both of us have been equally dedicated and committed to this process. Tori did the bulk of the research on racism, privilege, and allyship, and we’ve got a 40-page document of notes that we compiled before we whittled it down to what's most important; the specific themes. What's most interesting, we’ve found, is that a lot of racist behavior is shielded under a coating of kindness. It’s something that people may not realize; they don't have the intention to be racist or to “other” someone. For example, I've gone to a meditation center and someone said, “Oh, we're so happy that you're here! We want more of you here!” That singles me out and makes me uncomfortable. So we tried to get at some of the more subtle elements that people often don't realize.

See also 4 Ways to Communicate Effectively This Week

The first meditation on privilege may be uncomfortable for some to hear. Why did you decide to lead with the most difficult meditation on the album?

Gibson: There's this messaging of “do the inner work,” but what exactly is the inner work? Mindfulness meditation can help you build the compassion and the fortitude to not only keep showing up, but to feel supported as you do the inner work. This meditation helps you work through some of the shame and guilt you might feel so that you can show up with more impact. It was important for us to be direct and offer specific examples, so instead of using a broad generalization, I wrote the things that I've directly heard or experienced. We were also thoughtful about who said which part of the script—as a Black woman, I didn’t want people to hear my voice and feel guilty. We also wanted to be supportive and compassionate. I have a lot of compassion for Tori as she's going through this difficult process—I don't want her to feel bad or beat herself up. We were intentional about who said what, so that whomever is listening would feel cared for, loved, supported, and held.

Lund: I don't know if there's an easy way to handhold yourself once you decide to do this work. You have to take responsibility, which is uncomfortable, and then you have to stick with it. You have to dive right in and feel it. It gets easier the more that you do it—but you’re not going to somehow ease your way into the discomfort. I hope that doesn't scare people away—but the privilege meditation is delivered with compassion and offers multiple perspectives to address how people might be feeling or confronted. People need to take responsibility for their part in the suffering and their part in creating healing.