Tumgik
#but also I feel bad bc while I’m willing to let someone let me go if they can’t deal with me as I am and accept me for things I don’t want
satoruin · 11 months
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➢ fake it ‘til we make it
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pairing: yoichi isagi x gn!reader
summary: your failed confession somehow leads to you fake dating your classmate, yoichi isagi. pre-blue lock
word count: 3.3K
notes from lee: for misha & tired bc i saw them live-blogging abt their bllk manga reading. also i feel so bad for rin, bc i claim he’s my #1 but i write a drabble and fic about his 2 enemies (sae and isagi), he’s gonna make me #3 enemy fr
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You were so sure that he would have accepted your feelings. Your body is hot with embarrassment and the gaze of everyone in the hallway. You feel absolutely idiotic right now, bent over holding out a confession letter even after he’s left.
You stand up despite wanting to curl into a ball on the floor and reflexively brush yourself off. You’re in shock and know you can’t cry, not in front of all these people. But the whispers from those who had witnessed your failed confession reach your ears, and you think maybe you will cry in front of them.
You turn to leave, the bell will ring soon, but someone is calling your name loud enough for the hallway to turn their heads. “Hey! (Y/n)!” He’s out of breath and heaving, having run through the crowded hallway to reach you. The ravenette grasps your hands and declares loudly, “I love you! Please go out with me!”
You look down at your hands enveloped in his and then up to his expectant stare with wide eyes. You recognize him. He’s in your class, Yoichi Isagi. Was he really interested in you? He whispers to you, “I’m trying to help you out. Just say yes.”
With a gasp, you seem to put the puzzle pieces together. Isagi is helping you save face. You smile, albeit warily, and respond, “Thank you, Isagi. I’m really flattered that you made such a declaration. I can’t say I return your sentiments, but I’m willing to try.”
He beams, glad that you took his help. “After class, I’ll take you to my favorite place, so please wait for me!” He replies loudly, so everyone can hear once again. You’re still shocked and confused but nod fervently to play along in his scheme.
Isagi walks you to your shared class and pulls out your chair at your desk for you. He tilts his head and gives you a close-eyed smile before he heads to his seat behind yours. As soon as he’s seated, you have people swarming your desk, all asking about your very eventful morning. The bell rings and silences their questions. You give them a brief smile and a helpless shrug as the teacher walks in.
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Lunch doesn’t come soon enough. Your classmates are starting to crowd your desk again. Isagi pushes through all of them, grabs your hand, and rushes out of the room with you in tow. You glance back to the door and see your classmates poking their heads out of the doorframe in an attempt to see where Isagi is taking you. He leads you to a staircase at the backside of the building, where only a few people are around.
He lets go of your hand and apologizes, “I’m so sorry. I grabbed your hand without thinking, but you looked uncomfortable earlier. Everyone asked about your morning, and they were going to just now, so I figured this would be better…” The soccer player looks away and blushes while reaching to scratch at his neck nervously.
You bite back a smile at how awkwardly adorable he is. “No, I appreciate it, and this morning too. It’s far less embarrassing since you ‘confessed’ to me,” doing the air quote gesture as you say confess. You don’t pay attention as Isagi turns away with a hand to his face to hide his growing blush. His confession may have been sudden, but it was undoubtedly genuine, not that you ever needed to know.
“Now I’m a little bit less of a loser,” you laugh at yourself before continuing, “You really don’t need to follow through with fake dating me. We can pretend to go on one date and then break up publicly.”
Oh. While Yoichi understood, he wanted to fake date you for just a little while. It would be the closest he would get to actually dating you. “It might be a little unrealistic if we break up so soon. After declaring my love for you, maybe 2 weeks is good? Plus, it will make that loser you confessed to look stupid for turning you down.” He can’t look at you in case you refuse his proposal. So he stabs the rolled omelets packed in his lunch.
“If you don’t mind, then I’m okay with that. I just don’t want to be a bother. I know the soccer team has some important games coming up.” You pick at your own lunch, now somehow nervous about him rejecting you after he had been the one to bring it up.
He wants to shout, you would never be a bother. But he composes himself, though hardly. “You should come to the games and practice. I think it would make it really seem like we’re dating.” Upon saying that, he realizes the many other things he’d like to do with you under the guise of dating. He stares blankly at his food as he imagines walking you home while he holds your hand.
You clap your hands, “We have to exchange numbers! Do you have your phone on you?” Isagi shakes his head. He had left his phone beyond to prioritize you and his lunch. You pull out your phone and open it to the contact before handing it over to him. “I’ll text you, so make sure you save my number.”
He enters his number and name before saving it. He hands it back, but he notices your frown. “Did I do something wrong?”
“I don’t think my boyfriend’s contact name should be just his name. Let me rename it.” You’re too focused to notice how he flushes at you calling him boyfriend. Yoichi waits as you tap your phone and then shove it in his face to show him. You’ve saved his name as ‘Yoi <3’, and he can see the text you’ve sent, ‘hi darling, it’s (y/n)! make sure you save my number’. He’s starting to wonder if you’re deliberately trying to kill him by being adorable.
“It’s almost time to go back, right?” Isagi asks you and stands before offering you a hand to get up. He smiles brightly down at you, and the thought crosses your mind that maybe you won’t mind fake dating him.
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It’s been maybe two weeks since you started ‘dating’ Yoichi, and you can say that it’s actually pretty fun. You wait for him after your club is done, or he’ll wait for you when he finishes early; his teammates tease him either way. He walks you to the train station and texts you for homework between the jokes he sends.
Today Isagi has another soccer game that places the team closer to Nationals. Even though he was the one that mentioned that you should come at the beginning of the fake dating, he always tells you that you can go home on the days that he has games.
But over the two weeks of watching his practice and the occasional game, you’ve come to like watching his games. You know nothing about soccer, but he answers your questions, taking time to explain everything and anything you want to know.
You don’t shout for him like the first time you came to one of his games (he ran head-on into one of his teammates and got subbed out soon after), and instead, just watch from the cold metal bleachers. Even during the halftime break, you let Yoichi be so he can focus on winning the game. You know he wants to take the team to Nationals. It’s been a frequent topic of discussion over text and after games when he walks you to the station, so you know just how important every game leading up to it is.
You wait for another 45 minutes as the second half plays out. The score has been tied and stays that way for most of the remaining half. You recognize the different strategies Isagi had pointed out during his practice, the triangle formation as he passes to his teammates and makes a run towards the goal. Seeing the ball rolls into the 18-yard box, you move to the edge of your seat. It’s the most promising chance you’ve seen during this second half as Isagi’s teammate notices the run Yoichi made and passes. Almost effortlessly, he’s able to score. The opposing goalkeeper’s vision is blocked by his defenders allowing Yoichi to shoot the ball right into the top corner.
You cheer, and immediately Yoichi’s head whips around to find you. He smiles and waves with both hands over his head before his teammates clamor around him. The team celebrates the goal and resets to fend off the opposing team as the clock ticks down. You’re not overly anxious about the game itself, but you’re itching for it to end so you can go down and congratulate Yoichi on his game-winning goal.
The referee signals the additional time in the match, and you make your way down the bleachers to reach Yoichi as soon as the game is called. The final whistle blows, and your school’s team rushes the field to celebrate being a win closer to Nationals.
You wait on the sideline for him, not in any hurry to break him away from the team. But he finds you, well, he’s been pushed over by his teammates. He’s sweaty, flushed, and heaving, but still, he has the energy to smile widely at you.
You mirror his smile, aware of the many eyes on you. “I think you’re teaching has been paying off because I can tell you did really good! Congrats on the goal too.”
His teammates ‘ooh’ at your words and make kissy sounds around you. Soon Yoichi is being pushed again so that he’s mere inches away from you as the surrounding members of the soccer team start to chant ‘kiss’. Yoichi tries to tell them off, making excuses that he’s sweaty and it would make for a bad first kiss between you two. The team is relentless though, and the few inches that had been granted before are taken away.
You’re pushed into him with no room to push away. Yoichi’s jersey is sticky with sweat, and his hair sticks to his forehead. He whispers a sorry before he places a hand on your face and kisses you.
His teammates go wild at the display of affection and finally break away to yell about Yoichi getting some. Little do they know there was no kiss.
Yoichi places his forehead on yours, noses almost touching, and sighs like he actually did kiss you. He moves the thumb that impeded your kiss to where his other fingers rest on your face. He whispers, “Sorry. I have to go, but wait for me, and I’ll walk you to the station.” He backs away and goes toward the bench to listen to his coach.
You stand, flustered, as you bring your hand to where Yoichi’s hand has been and feel how hot your cheeks are. But more than anything, you’re wishing he hadn’t put his thumb on your lips.
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True to his word, Yoichi walks you to the train station like he always does. He carries your bag and offers up his warm-up jacket since it’s dark, ever the gentleman. It’s a bit awkward on the walk to the station, neither of you wants to address the almost-kiss that happened.
But that doesn’t matter when you reach the train station. “I think we should ‘break up’.” He does air quotes around break up, much like you had when talking about his confession. “It’s been 2 weeks now. I think everyone’s forgotten what happened.”
Oh. This is why he didn’t kiss you.
You feel your stomach sink, but if this is what he wanted then you’d do it. “Oh! I didn’t realize it’d been 2 weeks already. If that’s what you want then sure we can end our pretend relationship.”
He doesn’t say anything, but hands you your bag. Before you grab it, you move to take off his jacket. “You can just give it to me tomorrow.” You stare at him, but he can’t meet your gaze. He stretches his arm further so you can take your bag, clearly, he wants to leave.
“Ok.” You take your bag and as soon as he can feel that you have it, he turns and leaves. Your relationship was fake, so why did it hurt so bad when he asked to break up?
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You go home, in his jacket, and wait for a text that never comes. Normally, Yoichi texts to make sure you’ve made it home but the screen doesn’t light up no matter how much you stare at it.
Yoichi’s jacket is draped over your desk chair, the sight of it makes you frown. There are lots of questions you have about what happened and why it happened the way it did, but it wasn’t real which somehow makes it so much worse.
You throw the jacket in the wash, so you can return it tomorrow. You check your phone again, but of course, there’s nothing.
Similarly, Yoichi stares at his phone, thumb hovering over the send button. The text he wants to send is a normal one, something he wouldn’t hesitate to send just yesterday.
The worst thing he thinks about him breaking up with you was the time and space you once occupied in the name of keeping up appearances would be void. Just a few hours later and he’s already missing you.
But Yoichi knew that continuing to fake date you was selfish of him. He���s not selfish, even on the field, but he wants to be. But he doesn’t want to keep you from pursuing someone you genuinely liked, that’s not fair. (Even though he hopes it would be him.)
Though the way you seemed surprised when he told you it had been two weeks, the way you had said ‘if that’s what you want’, even hesitating just slightly to take your bag from him, it meant something, right?
He groans and tosses his phone aside, trying to distract himself from overthinking the situation. He did not need to give himself false hopes and delusions that you were upset over this like he was.
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It’s the first time in two weeks that nobody greets you at the front gate. Yoichi is usually at the school early for morning practice and even when the team doesn’t he still arrives early to walk you to the shoe locker.
He’s not in his seat when you enter, so you leave a plastic bag with his folded jacket inside on top of his desk. He comes in unusually late, apologizing to the teacher several times and explaining there had been morning practice.
Some small optimistic part of you wants to think that maybe he would have walked you to the shoe locker had his practice not run late, but realistically you know he’s probably ready to run away like he had at the train station yesterday.
You put your head down on the desk and don’t pay attention to the lecturing of the teacher.
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You thought that habits took 30 days to form, so why did 2 stupid weeks affect you this much? It’s been 3 days of school now and you find yourself at every turn looking for Isagi.
When it's time for lunch you instinctively look back to find him so you can have lunch together, but he’s already out the door. You try to suppress the automatic urge you have to find Isagi any time there’s a second of free time in your schedule. But still, you somehow find yourself at the metal bleachers of the soccer field once again.
Once you fully register the automatic decisions your body has made you try to leave. It was awkward enough that Isagi made it a fairly obvious point to avoid you. The metal creaks every time you move, but you try moving slowly to avoid detection.
Luck is not on your side as their coach calls for a water break and the whole team turns to face the bleacher you are currently trying to leave. They all recognize you, after your ‘kiss’ they’d be stupid not to, and so they shout their greetings and call out Isagi for making you wait through the practice.
You sit back down and wave, there’s no way you can leave now. And you don’t want to cause Isagi trouble by having his teammates grill him on a nonexistent relationship. So you wait.
The sun begins to set and practice ends. You wait for Yoichi, so things don’t seem amiss to his teammates. He walks with you wordlessly to the train station like it’s a habit for him too. And you end up at the same spot you did just 4 days ago when he decided to ‘break up’ with you.
You want to apologize for making him walk you to the station, but the way he looks in the blazing orange light seems to make your mouth say all the words your mind is thinking. “I miss you. I miss your texts and greeting you in the morning. I miss eating lunch together. I miss being your friend.” As soon as you say it, you know friend is not the right word, but what is?
“I’m sorry, (Y/n), but I can’t be friends with you.” He leaves the ‘I want to be so much more’ unsaid.
You immediately jump to question him, “Why? Do you not feel this gaping hole of emptiness too?”
“What?” His eyebrows furrow in either shock or confusion, he certainly couldn’t say.
“I’m constantly feeling like I need you by my side. I look for you every single moment of spare time. I want to be close to you, I want to see you, I want to read your texts, and send you homework answers. I want you, Yoichi.” You take a staggered breath in and your heart beats loud in your ears. Oh, you know what word to use now. “Yoichi, I want you to be my boyfriend, for real this time.”
He stays silent longer than you would like, but you stay hopeful. Looking back at your fake relationship there was no way he didn’t reciprocate. All the things he had suggested in the name of appearances was proof enough for you.
“Really?” Is the only thing he asks. You nod vigorously now that you’ve figured out your feelings. A smile starts to make its way into his face, but he brings up a hand to cover it along with the growing blush. He squats and pumps his fist as he shouts, “Yes!”
You’re a bit shocked at his sudden reaction, but happy he’s reacting in such a positive manner. He stands back up again and places his hand on your shoulders. “Do you know how long I’ve liked you? I mean, god, (Y/n), this is-” He can’t even finish his sentence because he’s laughing and resting his head on your shoulder.
You brush your hand over the back of his head, smoothing over the hair. He holds onto the hand as his head snaps up. He looks at you with a soft expression, one you’re sure he did while you fake dated.
“Can I kiss you?” He gives you a lopsided smile before adding, “For real this time.” No doubt teasing you for earlier.
You roll your eyes and grab the collar of his jacket, pulling him close for you to whisper on his lips, “Kiss me.” And he does.
The next day he walks into school with your hand in his.
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rosebloodcat · 9 months
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Invisible Wally AU
Quick Explanation of the Invisibility before I get into the AU: In Moomins, they say that Invisibility is caused by being scared. The character who was invisible, a little girl named Ninny, had been in the care of her very mean/verbally cruel Aunt and turned invisible because of how awfully her aunt treated her. And it took the care/kindness of the Moomin family who wanted to both see and know her that got her to become visible again.
It's very much an abuse victim reaction/mindset, but I don't think it's the only kind of "fear" that could cause invisibility.
As someone who went through a bout of depression in middle/high school and decided that I didn't want to have people notice me, I tend to liken that "Fear" to it too.
Fear of being noticed or a bother to people around you that you care about (and plenty that you don’t even know). Fear of people you love growing to hate you/not want you around. Fear of being hurt again because the people around you won't want to see or be around the "real" you if they saw it.
The invisibility isn’t just being unseen; nothing the person writes can be seen either, and they have no voice and can’t make sounds with instruments. It’s genuinely like they aren’t there EXCEPT: They’re still physical (able to touch and be touched) and they still cast a shadow.
With that done, let’s get into the au!
Invisible Wally AU:
(Heads up, this will get upsetting bc I'm also explaining the root feelings that cause the invisibility and they’re a mix of fear, depression, and self-depreciation)
First off; Wally starts as the only one in Home that's Self-Aware, as such he's carrying the brunt of the Audience's attention, good and bad. (Technically, Home is also self-aware but it doesn't get even half the weight of this as Wally does.)
For the entire day, when he's outside Home (and even when he isn't sometimes) he can feel the weight of the Audience's gaze on his back and the pressing Need for everything to be perfect, all the time. From the styling of his hair to his clothes to the way he talks, everything has to be perfect. Perfectly in place and perfectly blank. No getting angry, no getting frustrated, no sadness, no wanting to be alone, not being able to say "No" when someone else wants to do something, nothing that wouldn't be seen as "negative" in some form. Like the host of a Daytime TV show, he can't be seen as anything but agreeable and willing to go along with anything he's asked.
That feeling doesn't leave until nightfall, quickly becoming the only time Wally feels like he can breathe and be himself.
Where he can groan in frustration, wrap himself in heavy blankets and lay on the floor in heap, screaming into pillows and throwing them around, complain to Home about the tedium that's driving him mad.
(He used to like bright colors, but now he hates them and wishes he could wear something, anything, else instead.)
After a while, he notes that he and Home seem to realize something is wrong. They're the only ones to notice/feel this impossible pressure to always be "TV ready" as he's started thinking of it. They just go through their days following the pre-decided, unspoken "schedule" that's fallen over their neighborhood.
If anything, they seem happy with everything happening. (Perfectly Happy, even.)
And it's wearing him down because when he tries to defy those Needs, he gets "punished" for it.
Trying to refuse to do something, like not going out for the day, makes his anxiety (which he did not have prior to this) spike wildly, driving him into a panic that usually forces him to follow the "plan" of the day. Trying to speak up makes his throat close up or for the wrong words to start spilling out. He can't argue against something that someone else wants to do, even if he tried (and he has, on several occasions).
He feels trapped, and that this "Audience" doesn't actually give a damn about him, just the entertainment he can act as a vehicle for.
They don't want to hear what he thinks or feels, they don't even want to see real him. Just the alternate "Perfect" version that follows their direction without voice or resistance. And that idea spreads, over time, until he wonders if his friends even care about the real him, or just the Perfect version that they've been interacting with.
These thoughts are what make him start to disappear, starting with his voice which grows fainter and fainter with each passing day. (And yet no one seems to notice how much quieter he is.)
When he starts to visibly fade from sight, Home tries to help by keeping him inside. They think that, if they can keep him out of the Audience’s view (even for just a little while) Wally will start to feel/get better.
Unfortunately, this isn’t as helpful as Home thinks it is.
“Leaving Home” is part of the schedule and not doing that trigger’s a “punishment” for Wally. He knows that Home was trying to help, but Home doesn’t feel the Audience’s displeasure the same way Wally did. Thankfully, “sick” days seem to allow some leeway, so he’s able to spend at least one day alone with just Home for company.
Then Home keeps him in another day, and then another, and another, until he’s spent almost a week inside Home instead of following the Script of the Day. (And suffering the punishments for not doing so) He feels like a miserable wreck, has probably cried a few times, and just…
He feels terrible.
But what makes it worse (in Wally’s mind) is the fact that none of his friends come looking for him.
He hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone in a week (other than Home), and yet no one came by to try and find out what was wrong. And Home hadn’t mentioned anyone trying to speak with them. It was like no one had even noticed that he wasn’t there.
And that thought stings. It hurts. It hurt much more than he’d thought it could.
(He had hoped that had been real, on some level. That they cared about HIM and not the Perfect him. Maybe he’d been wrong…)
He goes to bed that night with an aching heart, and climbs out the next morning completely invisible and completely silent.
Home, of course, is panicked. They had seen him fading, slowing vanishing before their eyes but there had been nothing they could do. They hadn’t been able to stop it, all they could do was curse the Audience for starting all of this.
Strangely though, there’s relief. The Audience can’t see him anymore and, though he can feel their displeasure at not being able to find him, he can’t feel a “punishment” taking hold of him. He still feels miserable, but it feels like a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He can’t be forced to follow the script if no one can see him, he can do what he wants, go where he liked, and no one would be able to stop him.
(But there was nowhere he wanted to go, few things he wanted to do. He had the options, but no drive to follow them through…)
Through a bit of trial and error, the two build a new “normal”.
They figure out that, while he can’t be seen or heard, Home can still feel where Wally is and, if he taps on things using the same mores-code that Home uses, they can still “Talk” to each other. Which soothes some of Home’s fears, since they now know where he is and can still check on him.
It takes a bit for them to figure out the other details of this strange situation. Like how far the invisibility extends.
Whatever Wally wears/puts on will turn invisible too, and the stuff he takes off will turn visible again after a while. He finds clothes in muted colors at the back of his wardrobe and ends up making them his “standard” clothes while in this state. No one but he and Home know they’re there, but the control it gives him helps his mood a bit. It was nice knowing that he wasn’t letting himself be completely controlled by the Need to be Perfect anymore.
What ends up distressing Wally the most is that he can’t seem to paint anymore. When he tries to put paint on canvas, it’s as invisible as he is. As an artist (and as someone who just enjoyed painting) this was understandably upsetting since painting had been one of the few outlets he had for his feelings.
He spends a lot of his time puttering around and wrestling with his emotions and the situation he’s found himself in.
Of course, that’s just Wally’s side of things.
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sonachobitchacho · 1 year
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Season 2 Young Royals Impressions
Actually going to be kind of controversial maybe, but I like August this season. I love what they did with his character, and I can’t wait to see him continue to evolve whether that means he redeems himself (which I honestly don’t think he’s capable of at this point) or continues his bastardization arc. He is so endearingly pathetic at trying to do the right thing. He really said, I would rather die than betray Sara, but I will NOT be a better person for her.
 I feel like they really humanized August this season, much like they did in the season 1 finale. I kept waiting to see August’s jealousy of Wille and Simon getting to experience actual intimacy more explicitly voiced though, and that never really happened? IDK. I like that they expanded on how August is left out of the Winter break and Spring break plans with the other rich kids, who are supposed to be his best friends. So I guess we do see how alone he is/feels, but I wanted a little more. 
The disordered eating was a really great addition for August. It was so obvious once they introduced it for his character. He really is the exact kind of person to be nursing an ED. I loved that we got to see his leadership ability with the rowing team as well. It’s clear just how much the team and Hillerska providing a sense of community is to him, bc before and after Sara, he doesn’t have anyone. He doesn’t even trust his own mother to take care of him. 
I hope they explore August’s burgeoning drug addiction in relation to his dad���s. I think it would be really interesting if we got to see a flashback to August’s dad, and their relationship. It’s clearly shaped August’s worldview.
Anyways I fully acknowledge August is more often than not a bad person, and there’s something a little fundamentally wrong with him that he can’t understand just how much he hurt Wille and Simon with the video. That being said, I think I will always want August to redeem himself, and perhaps that is a character flaw, but I can’t help but feel for him. 
Much like Omar I could not stand Marcus. I think his character was a great addition to the show, but that doesn’t mean I like him as a person. He’s got so many red flags. 
I didn’t like that he entered Simon’s space totally uninvited, eavesdropping on something so deeply personal, and then felt entitled to comment on his music. I didn’t like that he pursued a relationship with Simon so aggressively, when it was clear that Simon wasn’t in a place to do that. He literally meets Simon as Simon sings a song about still being in love with an ex who hurt him. If that wasn’t clear enough, Simon even tells him that he “isn’t ready for something serious.” And what does Marcus do with this information? He dismisses Simon’s feelings and then accuses him of having daddy issues based off town gossip?!? 
I’ve also seen a lot of people claiming that Simon cheated on Marcus, and talking about how wrong that is. And while I will acknowledge that definitely wasn’t one of Simon’s best moments, to my knowledge Simon and Marcus never defined their relationship. Let me know if I’m wrong on this account though. 
Speaking of love triangles, Wille and Felice’s make out was hilarious, and I will never not appreciate the characterization of Wille that it leads to. Like deep down Wille just wants to feel loved and safe and seen by people who like him for him, and he doesn’t seem to care what gender that person is. He just desperately wants to be seen, and isn’t that just the most relatable thing? Someone shows Wille an ounce of compassion and he’s like, ‘okay if you wanted me to love you, then just say that’. (Not that I think he really loves Felice romantically).
Also Also I loved Stella. I feel like a lot of queer teen romances focus on exploring romantic and sexual relationships explicitly, and I really appreciate that in addition to that they’ve also added a subplot where and a character who chooses friendship. Don’t get me wrong. I want Stella and Frederika to date. But I also love that there is one person on the show that said, ‘sex is cool and all, but that’s my person. and i wiLL NOT risk losing them-- even if it costs me.’ That is such a sapphic experience. Stella not being willing to jeopardize her relationship is such an important type of love to explore, and it is deeply personal to Me.
Oh and holy Fuck I loved the curtain thing. like yes! pull a Fleabag. We the audience do not get to see this moment of genuine intimacy. This is just for them. They’re in love your honor. 
Loved this season. I can’t wait for the season 3 that better be happening!
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iricathel · 8 months
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just how much are you willing to read about why ruki is the perfect match— i mean rukina is the ship ever and the more i read their interactions the more i find myself nodding along like yeah they’re meant for each other they should get married this instant. wait. they did dfgdfg so i’ll save you the trouble of talking endlessly about the reasons they just click together because i’m sure you know about those already (a future long ass ask maybe? 🙏)
shuu — i think this one would be fun because they strike me as partners in crime. at least a bit. i think shuu would enjoy irina’s attitude and strength and maybe irina might like digging into what shuu’s actual personality is, facade aside. don’t ask me why but i sense some strong magnetism here. hottest blondes in the area, people move aside to stare at them (i at least would)
reiji — i really am not being that original but. hear me out. people that can ruin your self esteem and bring you down to your knees however you wanna take that one. i think reiji can work really great with someone that is both capable and incredibly smart but isn’t afraid to speak their mind. irina’s balance between not letting people step on her while still managing to keep everything under control… a ship filled with political and romantic intrigue (?) also pls reiji would go insane with someone that is both fancy and playful and damn. irina could tease the heck out of him, i’m calling this a win on society
lina ily sorry for the spam <3
Omg Kuu ily so so so so much wtf this is so sweet 😭
— Talking about Rukina, ofc I have my own opinions about their ship since I made them interact not only here, but for YEARS with different people and different sites and it's wild for me how even if the "admin" changes, they still have that magnetism no matter what (and also there's a reason why it's my fav ship sjsjsjsjsj). But ofc I have mostly my view and Ruki's admin too, I'm always glad to read people's opinions about their ship and how they feel them work together since it can open our eyes¿? Like maybe there's something we don't see but it's so obvious for others— So my askbox is always open for all kind of rants everytime you want 😤
— I'll try to save my analysis for the match-making post sjsjsjsjsjsj
It's right that for both Irina and Shuu it will be intriguing to meet each other, since one will feed the other's curiosity — Not to say that also Shuu will enjoy fr teasing Irina. I can also tell as both are candidates for their own clan's throne it would be crazy af if they marry bc imagine all that power??
But I don't wanna break it too much, but even if they can start so well, I think there would be a divorce so fast too sjsjsjsjsjsj But I will talk deeply about this in another post since canonly Irina knows both Shuu and Reiji
— It's funny to me see some people seeing Reiji as a good partner and the arguments are so good tbh, but if you look at it separately.
Reiji with Irina is one of the most problematic ships she could ever have and that's bc the beginning of their relationship is so tense and polemic even they feel uncomfortable with each other's presence bc they snap their traumas. Like they just need to look superficially to each other and they travel again to their childhood to revive their traumas again and over again
+ I feel like Reiji would see Irina as a disgusting woman bc even if our girl is a fancy, elegant woman with some manners, she's clearly not the perfect woman in his eyes either. And that's a problem for both ngl
BUT(T) NOW I SAY AGAIN, I WILL TALK DEEPER ABOUT EVERY GOOD AND BAD POINT FOR EVERY MATCH IN ANOTHER POST probably in a week
Again thank you so much Kuu for writing this bc I also love to see how people pay so much attention to my ships/character that they can tell things I never talked about before here 😭😭
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dollfaceksj · 9 months
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Okayy thank you!! <3 Just a heads up I’m a sucker for angst soooo What if maybe she’s not home when he comes to visit her, she’s away for vacation or a work thing & he realizes he really hates not being able to see her when he comes back. She ends up saying he can crash in her place bcs she feels bad. He agrees but he was so excited to see oc but not being able to have her, he needs relief bad. He tries to hold off so bad but ig we can chalk it up to him just being a man *cue lana del rey* He ends up having a girl over and oc comes back early from her trip & finds them in bed together. In the same bed they used to share. She’s conflicted because she can’t be jealous because she’s knows she’s not the only one he sleeps with and he’s technically not cheating. Shes hurt but also curious to see if he really doesn’t mumble sweet nothings into other girls ears like he does to her or if he doesn’t kiss them & gives them gentle caresses like he does to her. (Whether he does or doesn’t idk I can’t decide😭😭). When Jungkook & the girl are done he walks her out and she leaves but what neither of them saw was oc sitting on the couch. Once he locks eyes with oc his face turns pale as if he’s seen a ghost. He’s quick to try & salvage whatever it is they have with the excuse that they’re not together & it’s not cheating but oc can’t take the disrespect of him “needing some” so bad that if he doesn’t get it from her he’s willing to bring someone into their own home or at least the home they used to share. He catches her on this & he’s a little toxic about it trying to deflect where he’s wrong in this situation, he reminds her that it isn’t their home anymore it’s just hers because she made the decision of ending their relationship. They argue & she’s so hurt but so mad too bcs it’s kinda true. In the end she feels really defeated. She kicks him out & as much as he wants to fix things he’s just as angry too, plus he has a flight to catch for a fight. Soon as the fights over he jets straight from the arena to her house to finally apologize and fix things but she doesn’t open. He’s so used to her always opening the door that, that’s when he knows it’s officially over, she might have broken up with him first but he’s the one that really ended it. Orrr another scenario is (this is a whole different scene, not including the argument above, but as I’m rereading this I feel like it can kinda go together too lol) he comes back and she opens the door but tells him he can sleep on the couch because she’s adamant on this not being able to continue, she eventually caves and they end up sleeping together but while they’re doing it she cries which she’s done before but this time he feels like it’s a little different but he continues (bcs she’s saying she doesn’t want him to stop) so he settles that she’s just crying out of pleasure. Then once it’s his time to leave again she stops him & instead of the usual quick kiss, she kisses him. Like really kisses him. & before he leaves she says something cryptic like “goodbye Jungkook, good luck” with a small smile. He thinks she’s just saying goodbye until next time & good luck on his next fight, so he leaves and doesn’t think much of it. Only when he comes back she doesn’t open the door, the person that does says they’ve just moved in a few days ago, the previous tenant moved. He tries calling her but the number is out of service, that’s when it clicks for him that she was saying goodbye the last time they were together & this completely breaks him. Omgg this was so long & idk if you can see what I mean when I say I just have huge ramblings!! You said you’re already working up a part 2 (I’m so excited to hear!!) so I was so close to not sending this in but I already had my rambling written out because I’m really forgetful so I figured let me not let it go to waste lol if this doesn’t fit, make sense or you just don’t like it, thanks anyway for listening to my ramble <333 I can’t wait to read the rest of your work!!
thank u for this it was entertaining to read! and its fine u can always ramble to me i dont mind at all it was very fun and cool to read someone explaining an idea they got from *my* story its rlly cool!!!
i might pluck some of these ideas and cook up a drabble but it wont be for any time soon tho. hope u look forward to part 2! <3
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m00n-pr1sm · 1 year
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despite me having a 60 slide presentation that is 9k words titled “morgana pendragon did nothing wrong”, I do in fact! think she has done bad things. the main gripe I have with everything is how genuinely shitty her development is, like this point has been hammered in a million times atp and I’m probably not adding anything new to the convo but let me rant, one day I’ll write a polished explanation or whatever but I’m just annoyed + me explaining why she’s not a good person :3 + my thoughts
I think morgana is a wonderfully established character, she’s someone who was willing to stand up for what she believed in and actively call out uther’s actions; as well as being willing to cross morally questionable lines to achieve what she genuinely thought was for the best. she was complex and honestly so interesting in the earlier seasons, we saw her struggles and genuinely empathized with her desire of acceptance and the fear of persecution. Also girlie had nightmares constantly like I can only imagine how tiring that shit is. but then s3 happened and her development took a complete nose dive! like I understand why she did what she did in s2e12, I think it’s a fine episode but I do wish they established the morgana + morgause relations better than they did in canon, like if you’re going to make a character do a complete 180, at least show the time period between that? because morgana was so clearly shaken but what she had done in s2e12, she had shut down basically and was struggling to cope with what she had done through the entire episode. Like I’m sure you could fill in the gaps but it’s just poor writing, show, don’t just imply that morgause became this figure in morgana’s life that she held up with such reverence and how she basically absorbed her values to just become this hollow antagonist that just has silly little schemes every episode in s3. like we already established how she had a desire for acceptance we should’ve show morgause grow into that. Also the fact that she brings up the poisoning like one time??? and never had any heart to heart with Merlin? Like I get that she was too unwilling to compromise on her values (and she’s ne polr-) but it’s far too quick of a shift in her character. She went from feeling immense guilt of her actions to smugly wanting Camelot to fall, like at least show some ambivalence or some kind of self doubt if you’re going to make her turn to evil off screen??? I’ll probably always be upset that they removed that scene in s3e13 where morgana was like “I felt like a monster (bc of my magic) and morgause was the only one there for me”, like that simple line, while implied w/o that scene, just has a lot of depth to her and explains it explicitly (also I feel like that would be the last thing to break uther so yeah I wish they didn’t delete that one). circling back, but I actually really love s3e05 (it’s one of my faves) because it just expands so much on how much she genuinely wants to be loved and how volatile morgana has become to rejection; like she is genuinely so desperate. I think from then on, morgana sorta imprints the idea of being “uther’s daughter”, thus trying to fit herself into that role (but that is very much a headcanon). From s3+ her mission is just “I want to kill Arthur (and emyrs) so I can be queen because I deserve it” but it’s totally about her bringing magic back! I think she comes to see Arthur as nothing more than an extension of uther (something that she does call him out her in earlier seasons) but I also believe that there is envy there! because he recognizes him as her son ofc but denies morgana of that, so she seeks to destroy what she cannot have (sx4???). of course her whole pursuit of emyrs which is just born of self-preservation. I actually appreciate s4 morgana bc of the fact that she’s is more vulnerable than in s3, like she’s just a lonely fool in the woods w/o any real friends bc she’s lost them all. and she contemplates sometimes. silly. also I like that we got a slight taste of distressed morgana who always sought out reassurance in s4e13, like girlie needs someone to tell her that’s everything will be okay and that is why morgwen is the best ship ever + why she is so emotionally volatile bc she is w/o that
Although I do wish they focused on her skill of social engagement, like she had so many ally ships and a clear ability to read and manipulate emotions, but whatever ig. It’s sad to see how much her world has really changed and her world view being so messed up and so black and white (like she also was pretty polarized in the earlier seasons but like those values she held made more moral sense + she felt guilt) also I think it’s important to bring up how her talking to emyrs in s4e06 being like “Arthur will never accept you, magic will only come back once I rule” as a play to distract him. also it’s genuinely so fucked up that she was locked in the bottom of a well for 2 years w/o light or movement like??? That is genuinely such a messed up thing I don’t think the show or fandom talks about enough. It’s literally a complete loss of her agency and freedom which I do believe is something that morgana values a lot, to always do some kind of action, she’s never been a stagnant character and to just. be stuck powerless and immobile for 2 years with the one creature that you’ve bonded with and loved and saw as you’re only campaign, like aithsa saved morgana; just suffer in such a painful and cruel way? LIKE WHY DO WE NOT TALK ABT IT MORE??
I guess I’ll talk abt s5 right now lol or just read my slideshow rant abt one of my gripes lol but yeah the writing takes another nosedive in s5, morgana just becomes really more one dimensional, although I’m glad that they at least addressed her and Gwen’s relationship, albeit in a very messed up way. But yeah her desperation for Gwen finally got the best of her and I truly believe that was the main purpose and not just her being used as a tool for assassinating Arthur. One think they should’ve done more was Morgana’s descent into madness and delusion, like she’s actually unhinged by the final few episodes and ofc that was caused by mordred’s death but I do wish that was just a theme in her character. I suppose it could parallel how uther shut down into numbness but morgana just became increasingly more volatile (it is 2am I am def grasping for straws). One day I write a proper uther and morgana parallels rant. Anyways her death scene is nice ig, she never did get the satisfaction of seeing Arthur die. anyways her entire character from s3+ is the sunk cost fallacy, she’s in too deep and she could never pull out. I haven’t watched bojack but I would’ve loved if they made her like Diane in how she feels like she needs to write her book to make her trauma productive in some way (“if I don’t then that means that all the damage I got isn’t good damage it’s just damage and all those years I was miserable I could’ve been happy this whole time. blah blah “what was it all for?”, from memory so if there’s a mistake that is why). She needs to take out all her years of hurt and rejection and someway by embodying that and doing it to everyone in her life ((for that reason)unconsciously) but I mean it’s not like they really imply that in canon, I’m probably reading too much into it. But yeah she’s selfish and hypocritical. At least she continued in being way too overbearing in her personal judgments (MY ESI WIFE (REAL))
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Industry people voted for Harry to win AOTY, 18,000 industry people vote for that award every year. Whether they think he’s manufactured or not is irrelevant because they’re clearly buying what he’s selling so who really cares? I’m sorry but I’m tired of the self soothing “oh but he’s manufactured and people know it” like… let’s not lie to ourselves to feel better. It’s easy to fall in the trap of thinking that karma is actually real and things will rectify themselves eventually, that we just need a little patience because surely this terrible person is falling out of favor, and people are seeing through them, and their imminent fall from grace is inevitable.
In my experience, that’s self soothing BS. Undeserving people have stepped on my back to get job positions I wanted and needed. My friends would go “oh but I bet your boss will see it if you work hard enough” or “eventually the true face of this person will show” and years go by and things don’t “fix themselves”, karma doesn’t strike, justice isn’t made.
The same thing happens in the music industry, probably ten times worse. As someone who’s been observing the industry for a while, Harry has managed to reach an echelon that very few people have reached in history. I’m talking, Justin freaking Timberlake never won AOTY. 49 artists have won that award since the Grammys were created. Of today’s musical landscape, of artists that routinely chart and are popular, the only ones to ever win it are Billie Eilish, Bruno Mars, Adele, Taylor Swift, and Harry Styles. You can add Kacey Musgraves to that list if you feel so inclined (I don’t, she’s not actually mainstream imo). That is an INSANE lineup to be a part of, and the day I found out he’d won it (the day after the Grammys because I refused to stay up just to get pissed off), was when I realized he’d won.
He just won and people are running in circles trying to come up with excuses as to why, actually, he can still lose. This is what he wanted and he got it, to a degree that I don’t even know he himself imagined (and people can spare me the discourse about his team buying Grammys because you can buy nominations but not awards, and definitely not AOTY, there’s a reason so few people have won it). Sure, we all know everything he lost in the process, but I’m willing to bet he doesn’t care and it’s all worth it for him.
There’s no degree of “the industry knows” or “fans will drop him.” The industry embraced him and he has fans in a chokehold, as much as it makes me want to break things. I let myself be fooled by the reception of his award on twitter, and then I came across a post about it on Facebook. People were outraged… that Twitter was mad. I kid you not. He pops up in my for you page on tik tok all the time no matter how many times I pick “not interested”. The amount of videos defending him and outraged about the person shouting during his acceptance speech. The amount of comments saying that Beyoncé was overrated (freaking BEYONCÉ. Overrated!!!????), that he deserved the win (!!!). The comments on YouTube and even in articles defending him. I truly truly gave up at that point. This poor excuse of a man could kick puppies as a hobby and they’d still be lodged up his ass.
bestie trust me when I tell u that I know all this 😭 I understand you probably just wanted to let your frustration out and I'm glad u did but like I 100% agree unfortunately lol I've always been the most pessimistic when it came to that man, and when I said industry people think he's manufactured I mean they probably know but also why should they care lol the entire music industry is a big manufactured mess built up by horrible men so they will support each other no matter what
and I do agree karma doesn't exist lol Good people are always pushed out by oppressive systems bc otherwise those systems wouldn't work anymore (that's why there are no good politicians and no good cops) and if we're talking about universal karma then good people always die and bad people live to their 90s rip
If u ask any of my friends here like @weareonejazzhand she can tell u I've been saying that we'll never get rid of that man now and we'll still be bombarded with his stupid biopic in 2050 and by then he'll have rewritten history completely lol
money always wins
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angy-mouse · 2 years
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mouse- just a simple lurker here, but this simple lurker is begging you to do anything monster manor related. When you're feelin up to it, of course!
Get better soon! :D
I wrote this up super fast bc its an idea I've been playing with for a while, i was also toying with the old myth that if someone who loves the werewolf says the werewolf's name and throw their clothes at them they'll be able to change back, but i couldn't make that fit. sfw but very cute i like it and if you wanted nsfw just request again theres not a limit /lh
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It was a standoff. You, arms crossed with a scowl firm on your face. Dream and Corpse, failing to appear nonchalant as they piled Dream’s tail in front of the attic door.
“I am not leaving Sapnap to suffer by himself all night. Move.”
“He’d kill us if we let you up. No way.”
Ah, the age-old battle. ‘I love you and want what I think is best for you’ versus ‘I don’t give a damn what you think is best for me if you don’t get the fuck out of my way-’. You were on the opposite side just last night when Punz decided fuck it, he wanted to know what garlic bread tasted like. 
“So, what? I’m just supposed to be okay with sending my partner away to suffer once a month for the rest of our lives?” They exchanged a look that clearly said, ‘fuck, the one flaw in our plan.’ “You’re all allowed to take care of me on my period, but I can’t do the same for any of you when you’re plagued by biology?”
Dream was clearly torn between his love for you and his loyalty to his best friend- Corpse was ready to let you do whatever you want. Dream finally huffed, shoulders slumping. “... He’s afraid he’ll hurt you.”
“Do you think he would?”
“No, but you try talking sense into him.”
“I will, thank you.”
Corpse stifled a laugh as Dream slowly processed what he’d just said. “Love you, good luck, maybe bring him some jerky,” he tossed out, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he left, cleansing his hands of the situation. Dream gave another huff, shaking his head with a small smile that he tried to fight.
“You’re too smart, you know that?”
“Too bad you love me and can’t get rid of me!”
“Yeah, yeah, just don’t let him use you as a chew toy.”
“How exactly would that be different from normal?”
You collected an armful of supplies before climbing the stairs. A bag of beef jerky, two water bottles, a blanket and pillow, and your laptop. You figured if he really was as animalistic as he seemed to think, you could toss him jerky bites and put on that sensory video with the dancing fruits. And if he was blowing it out of proportion as you suspected, you could… hand feed him jerky and watch the dancing fruit… No one could judge what you did in your free time.
You could feel your heart crack as you peered into the attic, Sapnap handcuffed to the old iron bed frame on the far wall. He was fuzzier, that was for sure, thick blankets of hair hiding the skin of his chest, arms, and legs. He’d grown a snout- that would be interesting to try and kiss. You were willing to bet not pleasant, but interesting.
His head snapped up with a sharp growl that faltered as he realized it was you. “Stop that,” you huffed, setting up your equipment in the center of the room to start. “Growling at your girlfriend- who do you think you are?”
“What are you doing up here?”
You sat criss-cross-applesauce in your blanket nest, cracking open the jerky bag. “I’m keeping you company,” you said, making sure to keep your voice even and very matter-of-fact. You could see in his eyes the way your tone affected him: this is what you were doing. It was simply a fact. Not a big deal.
“I told Dream-”
“I’m already tired of discussing this,” you decided. “Let’s skip the pomp and circumstance and get to the solution already.” “That you were going to hurt me. Why? You wanna hurt me?”
“No!”
“Then why would you?”
You could tell you were confusing him. Maybe he’s never had anyone talk this through with him, maybe they gave up where you were more stubborn- whatever it was, he had ‘you’re not following the script’ written all across his very fluffy face. “I’ve trashed rooms during the full moon, I’m clearly not in control of myself and I don’t know what I’m capable of.”
You thought about it for almost a minute as you chewed your jerky. “... Do you always lock yourself up in rooms like this?”
He blanked. “Like what?”
“Empty.”
“I guess, yeah. I don’t wanna break anything expensive-”
“You’re an idiot,” you decided, moving your nest to be able to cuddle into his side. 
“What the hell-”
“Do you know what happens when you leave a pet dog in a cage with no toys, food, or anything?”
“That is not the same thing,” he indignantly huffed.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not a fucking dog!”
“What makes you different from a dog?”
“I’m fucking smarter, I have self-control, I-” He froze as he laid eyes on your ‘now you’re getting it, dumbass’ expression. “... Oh.”
“Yeah, ‘oh,’”
“... You’re human, you’re not supposed to know more about this shit than me.”
“I think you guys overcomplicate things,” you laughed, throwing half of your blanket over his lap. “You need a widdle ol’ simple human to point out the obvious.” Your nose wrinkled as you eyed his cuffs- he looked far too much like Jesus for your taste. “Where’s the key for those?”
“Gave ‘em to Dream,”
“They don’t look too thick,” you mused. “Can you just break them?”
“Uh, no, sugar, that’s kinda the point.”
“Well, sorry, smartass, but I can’t give you a kiss while you’re-”
Snap
You let out a laugh as his tail rhythmically thumped against the floor, remains of his cuffs hanging off his wrists like bracelets. “Gimme kiss,” he purred, nosing against your temple, tongue peeking out to lick your cheek. 
“Alright, come here, you big goof,” you hummed, pressing your lips to his fuzzy cheek then to the bridge of his snout. “No making out when you’re like this, I don’t know how I feel about the whole ‘no lips’ thing yet.” He simply gave a growling grumble and flopped onto your lap to nuzzle into your stomach, tail going strong as you scratched behind his ears. “... You wanna watch the dancing strawberries?”
“... Maaaaybe.”
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aequitas-if · 1 year
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here are a few silly questions, if you'd indulge me
1. what is the most embarrassing thing that everyone has done?
2. favorite animal?
3. what is everyones favorite color too?
the cut scene tho 👀👀👀 <3
I’m always willing to indulge any questions/scenarios you may have! Helps me get in the mood for writing!
(Also I’m glad you liked the cut scene! I had a fun time writing it and was kinda disappointed when I had to cut it out so hearing someone else enjoyed it made my day ☺️)
Anyways onto the questions!
Question 1: What is the most embarrassing thing that everyone has done?
Original Aequitas Members
Alex: When she first became Elysian and was still figuring out how to juggle both her life as a hero and as a teenager she ran into a lot of embarrassing moments.
The most embarrassing ,however, was when she was 16. She was in class and got an alert that a bank was being robbed nearby and in order to get out of the class to go stop it she very loudly announced that she was on her period and needed to go to the restroom.
Jasper: Okay so the year is 2020. The team had just finished up another mission and were waiting for the police to arrive to the scene.
Do you know what 15 year old Jasper does in order to pass the time? Challenges “MC” to a race. The race starts and as he’s running Jasper trips and falls directly on his face and loses.
The kid with super-speed lost to the 13/14 year old without any superpowers. Nobody will ever let him forget. Ever.
Zoe: While chasing a criminal during a mission she ended up flying face first into a billboard after getting distracted by Jasper tripping.
That wasn’t the embarrassing part though. The embarrassment comes from the fact that is was caught on camera by the news. People reposted it online, made edits and memes. The video was everywhere for months.
Rowan: Aequitas had just wrapped up another mission (they had a lot of them…being superheroes and all) and Rowan and MC had delivered the blow that had knocked the villain out.
In his excitement, Rowan proceeded to fist pump the air and then pull MC into a hug. This was (once again) all caught on video by the news (downsides to be a teen hero ig).
Okay so it’s not actually that embarrassing to anyone but Rowan but he found it humiliating. Will actually walk out of the room if anyone talks about it.
Sidekick Squad
Vesper: Doesn’t feel shame or embarrassment Was once stalking following a lead on a mission and ended up getting caught. Anyways it turns into a fight and the team have to end up making an escape through a window.
Except Vesper couldn’t escape because they were too short to reach the edge of the window and climb out. Leon had to go back for them. They tried to play it off as a joke but literally wasn’t able to look anyone in the eyes for a week.
Leon: The only one who’s story doesn’t have anything to do with heroics. When he was very young he got lost in the supermarket. Instead of going to ask someone for help, he decides to look for his mother himself.
He ended up spotting the dress his mother was wearing walking down the parking lot and raced to her.
Except it wasn’t her.
His family still laughs about it.
Juniper: Was fighting a villain (bc once again teen superheroes) and decided to freeze him in place. (Wrongly) assuming that the fight was now over, Juni went to answer some questions from reporters.
While she wasn’t looking not only did the villain manage to unfreeze himself but he also managed to knock her out. Once again on live television. It was almost as bad Zoe’s billboard incident.
Nora: While doing cleanup after a mission, Nora was given the job to handle the civilians and reporters. After about 5 different interviews and 100 different autographs, she turns to leave but gets stopped.
She turns around and opens with “For the love of god please don’t ask me for another interview or autograph” just to see that it was the police commissioner. He had just come to ask for her statement about the villain. Nora was mortified.
Sebastian: Was doing his usual rounds of patrol (literally nobody asked him to them, he does them for fun) when he literally trips off of the roof he was standing on and lands face first into a dumpster down below.
Sebastian obviously walked it off and pretended nothing happened but Vesper managed to catch it on video (nobody has managed to figure out how or why they were there in the first place).
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venus-haze · 2 years
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The anon who requested the lolita reader is gross on so many levels. They literally pulled the description of the request straight from a scene in Lolita … a movie/book about the sexual abuse of a 12/14 year old girl from her Step-father-a pedophile who manipulated her mother to literally live in the same home as her. The book is heavily romanticized by women and men alike and it takes away from the actual meaning of the book/movie. Not to mention Real elvis literally had a pattern of preying on specifically 14 y/o girls (which is why I stray away from real elvis fics). Making the character “obviously of age” or coding then as “innocent” doesn’t change the fact that they’re obv fantasizing about pedophelia and reader being a child or teenager. I’m glad you rejected the request bc it was fucked up.
I genuinely haven’t watched the movie in years so it didn’t even occur to me that it was a scene from it omg. I don’t mind people requesting naive readers, as someone in their twenties I generally write the reader to be college age or older anyway. Obviously I write dark fics so I’m willing to get into controversial territory so this may seem like “who are you to be saying this,” but I’m definitely not comfortable writing underage/underage-coded readers. Like I don’t let people under 18 interact with my blog or content specifically because of the type of stuff I write.
I definitely don’t condone all of Elvis’ actions throughout his life, but I don’t think he was a bad person. People are just complicated, him especially, and fame exacerbates that. I also feel like so much of it happened so long ago and he’s been dead for over forty years now. While we can discuss it in hindsight, his legacy as a person and entertainer are already set in history. I’m not trying to make excuses or disparage him, but I think that energy can be spent more meaningfully on people in the present.
I write for Austin!Elvis because I’m personally more comfortable writing for a fictionalized version of a real person, if that makes sense? Some people prefer to write for Elvis himself, which I’m not going to knock, that’s just a personal hang up I have for some reason.
Like I said, though, I didn’t realize the request was directly from the book/movie or I wouldn’t have even considered it in the first place, them sending the same request to multiple writers aside (also there’s the Japanese fashion style Lolita which has nothing to do with the book, so my mind went to that first because I have friends who are involved in that community, honestly).
🦇 Battie
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hi hi!! it took me way too long to decide on someone for this event, but i did it!! congratulations to me. and it’s hakkai <3
okay so let’s just start at the beginning bc idk what else to do. so i’m aromantic, but cupioromantic, and idk why but hakkai... i’m pretty sure he’s the closest i’ll ever get to experiencing romantic attraction lol. like, i get all giddy and happy when i see posts about him on my dash, and sometimes i get a butterfly-esque feeling... tingly stomach. no clue why he does that, none of my other f/os or faves or whatever do that to me in this extent. i guess he’s just special <3
that said it took me an awfully long time to add him to my f/os because he’s been doing the weird teenage love feels to me for over two years and i only started self-shipping with him two weeks ago. which is also why i ended up choosing him for this, he deserves more love from me!!
apart from the teenage love feels he’s just so pretty, and sweet, and cute, and kind, and asdghjhfhjg you know. wonderful little guy i wanna hold and kiss him so bad. oh and i want to braid his hair while he’s playing video games or smth... just casual physical touches.. idk. i’m a simp for him i can’t help it
aaalso i very much headcanon him being into pottery!! i tried it out a bunch of times and i absolutely suck at working a potter’s wheel bUT i believe that hakkai is a lot better at that than me and i think we could go on cute little pottery dates where he tries to teach me how to use a potter’s wheel <3 and we could also decorate his pieces together bc i am good with clay, just not those damn wheels. and that would probably end up in us making a ton of those frog mugs with a lil frog at the bottom that you can only see if the cup is (mostly) empty... and then having to gift some to our friends because we don’t need that many mugs plus i love gifting my friends hand craftes stuff, and i bet hakkai does too.
i feel like he’d be soo embarassed about it first and get very flustered when we cuddle for the first time but i have real experience with this one for once so i would probs initiate it when i’m comfy with it (which would be pretty early on lol) and i don’t think he could say no to us cuddling. and i bet he’d immediately text mitsuya abt it as soon as he’s alone again, excitedly spamming him talking abt how nice it was. and he’d probably forget to mention that we just cuddled so mitsuya thinks that we fucked and then hakkai gets even more embarassed. he’s a dumbass but he’s my dumbass, and he’s adorable i love him. (also i totally never accidentally did the thing where i excitedly told someone abt my cuddling experience and forgot to mention that it was cuddling. nooo. this could never be inspired by myself /j)
more random headcanon stuff but i love going berry/fruit picking, and he’d totally agree to go do that with me no questions asked... so yeah us going berry/fruit picking as dates. maybe even mushroom picking if he likes mushrooms bc i don’t but i like picking them and know a bunch bc i used to go do that every year with my mom when i was younger.
i’m bad at describing myself but i hope you got somewhat of a grasp of me through this and the few interactions we’ve had adfjjshg. (also, suggestive stuff is good tho anything implying me bottoming is a no bc it gives me dysphoria. but otherwise yes to that 👁)
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◇─◇──◇── @appreciatingtokrev  x Hakkai! ──◇──◇─◇
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□ Where do I begin with you and your hunk of a man? He's so incredibly supportive of you and always willing to go above and beyond to encourage you in anything you want to do.
□ And yes. That has resulted in him throwing 40+ mugs so you could give them away to friends and family when your hyperfixation was all things clay related. And he did it with a smile.
□ You gave took turns massaging each others' hands a lot in those weeks. He has such pretty hands.
□ You're actually not allowed to touch his hair when he plays video games with the guys, Smiley has forbidden it. He gets too sleepy and makes them lose </3.
□ You're also not allowed to touch or kiss his neck when he plays bc it bricks him up so fast. And the guys all groan bc when he gets a very specific kind of whiny, and then disappears for the night they know exactly who to blame.
□ Mitsuya just chuckles and tells them to shut up and let the boy get lucky.
□ You may have tried to be generous a few times under circumstances that the guys could still hear and well,,,,to the is day Mikey will sometimes mock Hakkai's moans.
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Nothing to say here but forgive me hakkai for i have sinned against your with these hcs </3 lmao
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Come make my day, tell me about your self ship, and get some hcs of your own.
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echoing-oursong · 10 months
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I think it's laughable when people call Steve a "homewrecker" or blame him for getting between Jancy, when Jonathan in s2 slept with Nancy while thinking she was with Steve. There is no outrage here, people even to this day debate if it was cheating. Let me tell you if Steve would have fucked another girl 2 days after an argument with Nancy, the fandom would never let this go, he would forever be branded as a cheater who was so bad for Nancy. Like how was Steve in s4 worse than Jonathan? He never kissed Nancy, he told her he reflected on the relationship (debatable bc he soley blames himself for the breakup) and admitted he has grown now and he could be there for Nancy in a way he couldn't be a year ago. Plus if Nancy was so disgusted by it or content with her relationship with Jonathan, homegirl wouldn't have entertained Steve's flirting for this long.
It's crazy to me that we are not allowed to make up Steve headcanons because we literally only get crumbs, and people think we absolutely hate Jancy by exploring Steve's negative emotions about those two people. The notion that Steve is never allowed to be upset by other people's actions is insane. Like the fandom then always brings up s1 (where he in my opinion only made one big mistake) and essentially tells you well he was an ass, it's karma he shouldn't be sad at all it's basically his fault. Steve is allowed to have negative emotions towards people who hurt him, and Jancy did hurt him. Like be for real he is still hung up in s4 by the way how his relationship with Nancy ended, a person who is absolutely fine wouldn't act like the way he does. Steve is not a character who shows huge emotions, maybe because of the Duffers, maybe because there is limited time or maybe because that's just his character he doesn't want people to see him vulnerable. Like the narrative in ST towards him is so bleak we don't get much. So everytime I see the take how Nancy's trauma is not discussed or ignored I have to laugh because 3/4 seasons are about her feelings of losing Barb. Jonathan's trauma is ignored way more ever since he's made into extension of Nancy, however we still get more from the narrative about his emotions than about Steve. If the show had 20 episodes I think everything would be more balanced out, like we could properly explore everyone's trauma. But alas it's not that way.
also sorry this was hella long so i’m going to put it under read more after the first paragraph
yeah it really is laughable especially cuz it shows how people just don’t understand the meaning of being a homewrecker. i looked it up and it’s when someone gets blamed for breaking up a marriage or family like they don’t understand what it even means! legit jonathan and nancy bring up steve with murray moments before they do the act - they actively knew what they were doing was bad and didn’t give two fucks about it. they didn’t care about how it hurt steve! i hate how people still debate if it’s cheating cuz even if you don’t agree that them having sex was cheating - nancy legit admits that she has been emotionally cheating on steve for the whole relationship by stating to jonathan that she waited a month for him and then got together with steve cuz he was ‘easier’ - she knew who she wanted while getting with someone who she knew she didn’t love THATS EMOTIONAL CHEATING!! it’s absolutely wild how some people are willing to die on this hill that they didn’t cheat despite it being clear in canon that yes nancy very much cheated and so did jonathan! yeah like if steve did this, he would absolutely be getting the heat for everything. also i think it’s just the narrative that fuels everything like despite the narrative being clear that yes nancy did cheat and yes jonathan did cheat - they also clear that so fast and don’t actually dive into it at all. and then they dive into how steve was ‘an awful boyfriend’ by steve saying it himself because everyone he has his own self worth issues and worships nancy but people don’t want to engage with that it’s only from steve’s pov where he feels like this because of how he was cheated and his own self worth issues.
YES LIKE NANCY ENTERTAINED THE FLIRTING FROM STEVE!!! honestly stancy scenes this season were just steve reflecting on his own relationship in the stancy thing and what his dreams are before they head of an a mission that they all know they have a high chance of loosing THATS WHAT IT WAS! but people immediately see steve and nancy in scenes and don’t think about the actual deeper thing at the center.
god yes about this!! like we’re immediately getting hated for just making up steve headcanons where he’s feeling bad things and it’s just why?!? why can only one character have bad feelings about things?!? i have the energy to feel sad and sympathy over steve while also doing the same thing for nancy and jonathan. like i have the energy to understand all of their traumas! but i also have to make shit up for steve cuz the duffers do and awful job at actually showing how steve does have trauma. i hate when people bring up season 1 steve cuz honestly like in some way all of the characters were asses in season 1 but the thing is is that the narrative makes you sympathize with them while also not acknowledging the sympathy that someone would also feel bad for steve. it’s so obvious that in season 1 and continues that it’s jocks vs loners and the lover will always get the sympathy majority of the time, and unfortunately fandom heavily brings that into how they watch the show too. which is wild cuz they’re willing to call out the duffers double standards and etc but still hold up the duffers values
also sorry this is sooo long lol but yeah i think it is a combo of all of those things about steve’s emotions on screen. it is wild how people are like ‘nancy’s trauma isn’t explored’ cuz i genuinely feel like they covered it a lot and that it’s kind of getting boring to keep just talking about her trauma with barb! LIKE GIVE HER SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!!! also to me it is absolutely wild cuz she is one of the few characters in canon (other one is max) that actually even discusses about how she had someone die! joyce had someone die in front of her yet it’s barely discussed ever again. hopper had benny who was his friend die and then it’s never discussed again. the boys and el genuinely think that will is dead and they see his body pulled out of a lake yet canon doesn’t discuss that in the slightest. the boys think el is dead for a year and see her die yet canon barely discusses that. like i know those last two they didn’t actually die but they saw as it happen!!!!!!! canon honestly has gone so far in depth about nancy’s trauma compared to any of these other characters who has seen death and thinks that their best friend has died.
and yes everything you said in those last few sentences!!!
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2 x 04 commentary
- dammit Henry I thought you were a good friend!!!!
- ugh not people judging felice:/ she doesn’t deserve this:(
- okay there are a lot of characters shooting things this season. this isn’t looking good
- when will sara and august STOP getting shit they want
- hahah I love this friend group of girls
- okay this valentines thing sounds like it’ll get real messy real fast ahaha
- not a repeat of the table scene but about felice😭
- they all just watched Simon walk out and didn’t even comment on it? it’s like they all forgot or disregard that relationship
- awe simon:( stop using Marcus thooo
- yeah felice has a lot going on
- okay wille and Simon being in the same PE class is Not. A good idea😂
- wille’s right that is hypocritical. honestly this is not scenes I expected to be watching but it’s great aha
- “at least he’s open about liking me” :(
- WILHELM. “You’re the one who can’t accept my role” that’s DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT SITUATION.
- “no, maybe I can’t” yeah:/ I love how much this show is delving into not only the class divide but the two different worlds and the reality they’re facing Bc of it
- oh my fucking god. thank god felice is calling him out here , he is actually being so fucking selfish it’s hard to watch
- YAY. DEVELOPMENT!!!! thank you wille that was really nice🥹 now we can go back to scheduled programming with their friendship, hopefully.
- “I have to let him go.” honestly, for now, yeah:(
- also felice looks so beautiful someone please fall in love with her for real:(
- omg nils!! legend. this is someone wille needed to talk to
- okay that was interesting. from that perspective you can see why they find it easier to stick to their circle . but you wonder where it stops
- hmmm the way she’s looking at her reading those letters makes me think it wasn’t just making out with your friend at a party 👀
- how dare august stand butt naked at the open window like that. he deserves someone to capture him in revenge
- august and Sara going to the ball together?? goodbye felice and Sara friendship
- okay Stella and frederika was not a ship I expected but I did need it😭
- omg FINALLY sara choosing her friends over august. I kinda wish she did go with him tho bc I want felice to know about them
- awe come ON how did Marcus pull through like that😭 man’s too perfect for him surely something’s gonna happen between them like come on💀
- WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES😭😭
- THEY DONT HAVE NAMES. bc he doesn’t want to repeat last time with wille or bc Marcus isn’t important for that??
- YESSS it was stellaaaa
- “I’d rather be secretly in love than be her ex that she hates” valid. I think wille would’ve rathered that too😭
- Simon purposely making wille jealous huh?
- “I have to be okay” gooddd im proud!! now have fun with your friendsss
- watching this with the costumes but modern party is so jarring hahah
- Simon stop using this damn man
- omg august told Alexander. tbh I was waiting for the consequences of that to fall through
- wille that was so random but I’m glad he was so nice
- THANK YOU WILLE. that was what we needed you to say!! except Simon clearly does still have feelings AHH
- honestly did not expect august to care that Sara stood him up but that’s an interesting turn. Comparing to wille and Simon tho?? I’m a bit confused how their situation is similar unless she means that they couldn’t stay together after felice knows but it’s not the same thing bc it’s bc she and august have done shit things
- Simon going to find willeee. I feel bad for Marcus tho ngl💀
- SIMON don’t miss your big performance!! no!!! not for wille not for anyone!!
- “I’m just trying to move on” so you chase your ex outside after he acknowledged that. right🤨
- OH MY GOD. And I’m so glad Simon was the one to initiate it😭😭
- I want them together but this is the wrong time😭😭
- okay he’s not missing the choir thank god. YOURE NOT SINGLE RN THO SIMON
- WILLE I would be smiling too that was a perfect kiss😭
- smiling while singing to him😭 especially when the song is about him too😭
- the song from the trailer😭
Okay this is making me emotional. I’m glad this didn’t happen until wille started to view the situation maturely though as I’d be lying if I said he deserved it in previous episodes, but I think they’re able to work it out surely their connection is unmatched, especially if he’s gonna kiss wille even when he’s in that wig💀😭
I’m not a fan of cheating storyline’s so I hope Simon does actually break up with Marcus after that.
But omg what a game changer episode!!
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ziracona · 2 years
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Playing FO4 on Survival as my original Sole Survivor’s husband. (Customized both and just loaded with a different pick for the PC in the open). Valentine stopped him from finding the Railroad bc he was working for the Brotherhood, so joined up for real to get resources. Jumped off the Prydwin with Valentine during Maxson’s speech when he realized they were doing ethnic cleansing. Made friends with Valentine for real after and hunted down Eddie. Went to Goodneighbor and finally made a pass at Magnolia because she’s so much like his dead wife and he’s not handling it well. Sleep together but get “This can’t be anything but casual sorry babe”’d rip. Valentine saw the whole thing go down and it’s so awkward Isaiah needs a cool down before he can face the shame so he grabs Hancock again. We’ve travelled together before a lot, but not to like Max or anything. Like each other and get along well. It’s fun! Always is. We tripped over Covenant and Isaiah is like “The thing about the commonwealth is…I don’t understand it.” But he likes Valentine so obviously all synths can’t be bad, and killing them all is wrong, and even if it wasn’t, torturing every weirdo in sight to figure out if they are one is insane. So we save Amelia, fight our way to Finch Farms because while he won’t lead the Minutemen bc he has to prioritize finding his kid, he’s willing to help Preston when he can, and feels guilty about saying no. We’re on survival and I’m completely out of ammo for all 5 of my guns. The nearest sure place for ammo is like, Bunker Hill. That’s way too far. So I’m like ‘fuck it.’ Give Hancock my power armor and a flamer, and we run at the Raiders. It’s so hard. I have a baseball bat and nothing. I’m on survival. We make it somehow with insane tactical work, step into the building. He goes “Hey can we talk?” And I’m like “Sure man. : )” and he’s four sentences into how he’s been running away a lot from good in his life when we both get shot by a shotgun and angrily engage vs 10 raiders with flamers. I do 7 drugs at once and somehow kill multiple people with a bat. We make it. We’re outside the furnace about to go in for a final showdown, Hancock is like “Oh about before?” And the ones out here are all dead now so I’m like “Yeah, go for it.” And he tells Isaiah how he’s glad they took up together and he got paired up with someone like him, and in all, “Hmmm. Do I go for romance?” Because Isaiah likes him but do I want to commit to that? He also kind of likes Preston and I can’t commit to someone and back out later? Is this really the one I want? But Hancock is like “…? You ok?” Bc companions in Fallout react if you stare silently for 30 seconds so I decide But I go ‘fuck it,’ Romance. Isaiah goes “You ever think about being…more than friends?” Hancock IMMEDIATELY goes “Haha of course that’s a given with me, but I like what we got, let’s not mess that up. Always good to talk with you…friend.” Shot down. Ended. My pretentious ass here going ‘is he the one I want to romance?’ Hancock ‘are you the one I want though? lol get uno reversed loser’ I’m losing my mind. Isaiah took two Ls back to back he’s never going to flirt again (he will). Hancock really shot me dead without hesitation, and I adore him for it
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kithtaehyung · 2 years
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Hey Ryen! Sooo I reread 3tan1 after reading Anytime and I apologise in advance for all the quotes I'm going to put here, it just feels like I'm annotating one of my favourite books so bear with me please.
I loved going back to seeing things through Yoongi's pov, that man sets the bar for all humankind I swear.
After seeing Yoongi going soft for MC in the next chapters I had almost forgotten that he has the bad boy/player side to him too lol
It's great to see how easily they can understand and read each other from the start even if they haven't seen each other in years and their previous interactions were pretty shallow. It just goes to show how well they match and how much attention they pay to each other. "And ever the avid reader, he could sit and read you all day." I mean this line just...
I love that from the start Yoongi tries to make MC erase any doubt she has about herself and that that's what pushes him over the edge and makes him give in to her demand in the first place.
"Never have you been so taken care of first—or at all—before." 🥺🥺🥺 It feels so good to know that MC finally has someone who is willing to show her that she deserves to be treated right beacuse she really really does.
Also reading “In my pussy, you son of a bitch!” makes me laugh out loud every time I read it. I love when MC gets impatient and forgets to be shy and overthink things lol.
Obviously everything Yoongi says is extremely hot and considerate at the same time, but having developed this huge soft spot for MC while reading all the next parts makes me stop at every one of her lines and just 🥺🥺🥺 “I’m liking everything with you”🥺🥺🥺
"This kiss isn’t like the others before, or like anything you both just did. It effectively calms you and starts to scrape at the hardest pieces of doubt caked on your brain, not relenting until they’re fully dealt with." Nothing will ever compare to the way Yoongi recognises and eases MC's worries with everything he does and says.
"What matters is that you were shown self-worth that will never leave the marrow of your bones, nor the deepest recesses of your brain." I simply have no words after reading this I just love them so much.
Overall, seeing the progress of MC with her being able to voice what she wants just in this chapter, let alone thinking about how much better she gets at it later on makes me soft and I can't wait to see her being even more confident in herself in the future too.
Also this time around, my mission is also to pay more attention to all the details that we get about bro since I still don't have a concrete theory about who he is yet.
Thanks for putting up with this rant lol I just love your writing and can't keep all these thoughts to myself. I hope you are doing well and being kind to yourself 💞💞
-🥝
KIWI!! argh, i am so sorry for getting to this one a bit late. things were hectic surrounding the chicago trip and i finally have some actual downtime to create a proper response. so here we go! hopefully you end up seeing this.
i love when it feels like your annotating, though! those are the best bc it fosters genuine discussion (which i love.) and yoongi's povs are my faves<33 AND RIGHT LMAO like we see yoongi's personality around reader that when we get back to the parts where he's his fuckboy self, the duality hits like a train! i'll put the rest under a cut bc i have a lot more to say dfhskfjl
i'm sighing reading your review bc it's taking me back to working on the original 3tan :')) the very start of their journey (at least, their new one) that's full of both uncertainty and understanding each other right away. and the avid reader line, yeah.. gosh.
what's also cool is that we do see reader being demanding here! she really had nothing to lose at this point so we saw that side of her before all the rest. i can't wait to revisit that side, even though i'm certainly not ready for it lol AND HER CURSING WHEN IMPATIENT LMAOO you just know that will get yoongi every damn time, too.
the contrast between yoongi's fiery lines and reader's super delicate ones? i loved working on. because it makes yoongi pause and reminds him about reader's personality. he's just starting to see how she is, and that's why it gets him hooked.
the lines from the end, though! i intended for this to be a one-shot with an open ending, but i'm honestly so grateful we kept it going because these two have come to mean the world to me. like you, i'm ready to see reader grow and show off that confidence we all know she has!
oh gosh, you never need to apologize for long messages like this. it's not a rant at all! i absolutely love reading and responding to commentary like yours, so you are definitely okay💞 i'm doing well and i hope you are, too. thank you again!
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indecisive-dizzy · 2 months
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Hi bestie I’m sending this 10 minutes before my birthday so yipeeee
I’m having Eddie and Daisey ideas and I wanna ramble about them
Specifically the scorned and bitter Daisey idea I mentioned before since they’re very angsty lol
Daisey does literally anything to stay as far way from Eddie as they can. It legit throws its head to avoid talking to him
They weren’t super close as kids, and they didn’t talk after Eddie moved away
Daisey and Howdy don’t end up together in this universe, mainly cause Howdy is still Eddie’s bestie and Daisey isn’t willing to let that go just yet. They’re friendly enough with each other though
I think Daisey spends a lot of time with Julie, her cheery demeanor balances out their bitterness
They still like to write letters, they just hide it
I imagine as kids Eddie liked their long hair. Daisey has it short because they’re still upset about it
I feel like Wally probably says something to Daisey that causes them to rant about the whole situation and they end up getting really emotional about it. They’re friends and talk a lot after that
Daisey laughs when Barnaby dogpiles Eddie (in the og au they always get worried and help him up)
They carry their umbrella everywhere. It’s like a security blanket, they need it or else they get all anxious and uncomfortable
They still dance, just alone or with Julie
They speak a lot more Spanish, as they never felt the need to speak proper English whenever they were talking to a friend
Their eyes are green in this au, while og Daisey’s eyes are either pink or a dark brown (it fluctuates)
They have frosted tips, specifically pink tips on their purple hair
“Do you even know how smart I am in Spanish?” -something Daisey probably asked Eddie after they spoke in Spanish and Eddie had no idea what they said as he didn’t get to learn proper Spanish (yes I had to add the modern family quote)
I love my silly I need to draw this version of Daisey they make me so sad
AYO HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE 🎉🎉 congrats on being [age] now! Yippee!!!
back to our regularly scheduled programming-
Angst Angst Angst Angst- !!
Love this spin on Daisey, love me a bitter and scorned character.
Imagine trying to talk to someone and they decapitate themselves to avoid you smh Eddie my guy u good after that?
Would Howdy feel conflicted? Yes this person is lovely but they Hate my best friend and I gotta defend him. Or is not attracted to Daisey at all? Like nah boo ur a lil too bitter for the strawberry cream soda caterpillar? but hey they can be nice to each other at least!
The Julie friendship is amazing bc it's like having 2 Franks except one is down Bad for the mailman and the other wants to see his stuffing on the pavement- what who said that? hahaaa
the pettiness of keeping their hair short is chef's kiss. I also love petty bitches (bc I'm a petty bitch lol)
The umbrella is a vibe! They can whack people (Eddie) >:)
Modern Family quote is acknowledged and pointed at with a hearty HaHa! I have never seen this show but the joke is Funny! :D
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