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#but I'm more so directing this to the section of ppl who go out of their way to drag the group down
luvit · 3 months
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Just read your post on minors reading your works etc etc. WHOLE HEARTEDLY AGREE.
I'm not sure if you are active in the CoD community on TikTok but it is genuine INSANITY with the way minors will openly be in comment sections expressing their 'interest' (I don't want to even think of how else to describe it because gross) in characters. I saw someone comment exact hex colours for every aspect of Soap's dick and clicked on their profile and their bio said 'minor >.<' (It is terrifying how such impressionable audiences are even thinking of these stuff)
i used to see that sort of stuff on tiktok, yes, but i personally don't read it because it's not my preference of style. i know that a lot of the ppl who make those kinds of videos too are also minors, but again, i think they should have a space to be able to explore their sexuality in communities where they can do it safely, healthily, and positively.
it's very similar to how every 12-14yo girl was reading and writing one direction/5sos smut on wattpad i'm pretty sure (even tho the age gap was smaller than a cod operator and then). but still, it's not foreign to see minors doing this sort of thing. tiktok is a HUGE factor of influence these days and is also how i got into this fandom tbh thru clips and edits 🤷‍♀️ but this behavior has become more normalized, though i often read it in the context of them taking it jokingly. because you see comments everywhere abt ppl barking, "needing them in a way that's concerning to feminism"
other platforms that hop onto this like brittany broski esp can unintentionally encourage her younger audience to be acting the same way, but they usually take it a step further. also booktok doesn't help, but i've also seen the same done to harry potter characters which i think ppl often forget are still students/minors when they're writing about them in that way. sometimes it can be seen as they are thirsting over characters their own age type of thing, but yeah, i was just thinking about that.
my biggest issue is just that once they try to do it elsewhere and expand outside of tiktok, they become more susceptible and accessible to adults and dark content. seeing stuff like that can be traumatic and can either make them romanticize a concept they do not understand, become deeply disturbed/bothered and may start negatively attributing them exploring their sexuality as something also taboo (i don't think it's a bad thing, there are just better and safer ways to do it), or when they see this sort of dark content it reinforces that idealized and unrealistic version of love and intimacy that we want to connotate with sex because they're like "they would never do that!" and also fall into the trap of exploring taboo topics is inherently bad and evil. it creates a lot of expectations that can't be met in the real world and often a really unfortunate circumstance when they have to figure that out. tiktok is just a huge feeder of this type of culture, no matter how fun it is, because once someone starts going further with that beyond just mindlessly consuming the media then that's where all these issues come up.
there are ways to explore sexuality, but when you it so publicly in a space that i feel is mostly inhabited by adults, you're going to see a lot of things and have a lot of interactions that are doing the opposite to a positive growth journey. safe and educational spaces exist, but most are just not here and are usually very small and don't have a lot of good/variety of resources. i can empathize with them wanting to be able to explore but are very quickly and harshly shut out. and i want them to be able to explore safely even if their preferred platform is here. but at the end of the day, i don't want to talk to a minor and wonder if they “age themselves up” when thirsting or are imagining a ~40yo man having sex w a 15yo.
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kimikoyukiart · 8 months
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Hey! Idk if you remember, I'd talked to you about making your aymeric x estinien housing art into ffxiv housing. Ever since then, I have really fallen in love with your art style! I am also a noob artist and opened comms recently, but I haven't gotten any yet haha do you have any advice and tips for me to help gain an audience and commissioners? Thank you and goodluck with your shop!
Hello again! Yes, I remember gosh thank you so much for enjoying my art! Also I'm always super happy to answer art stuff since I'm in love with it, but I will open with a disclaimer specifically for the growing audience bit cause for a long time I've primarily been an OC / original art artist and it wasn't till I became cripplingly obsessed with estimeric that I grew some semblance of a following so I'm a pretty small artist by most standards ;;; With that said, here are my tips and advice which I'll separate into 2 parts
Putting this under a read more cause it's LONG
Commissions (mostly about expectations, best practices, and organisation to make it easy on clients)
Have some kind of commission page (here's mine for example) to make it easy for your clients to be able to reference something and for you to direct new inquiries to. This can be anything from a website/carrd to even just a google doc/tumblr pg. Will there be clients who never read this? Absolutely. BUT it's also great for clients who are shy and/or who like coming prepared
Have a Terms of Service section!! In our current day and age of tech bros and assholes trying to exploit and scam creatives I cannot express enough how just having a TOS will deter these ppl! It shows you're serious and that you know what you're about, making you less of a target!
MOST IMPORTANT! Be kind to yourself!!! Opening commissions is exciting due to the prospect of making money from something you love and it can be very disappointing and demoralising when you don't get any! It's also a very "feast or famine" type of roller coaster, so don't feel bad if you don't get any, even super large artists struggle!
Building a following (from someone who's doesn't actually prioritise this so take it as you will!)
You've probably heard this before but fanart is definitely better at drawing a crowd than original art so I feel obligated to mention it. (I'm a pretty classic case study of this imo lol) And the reason for this is that there's already an established audience out there that loves the content you're making unlike original art where you're starting from ground zero. Does that mean you should give up making original art if you want followers? ABSOLUTELY NOT! And honestly most of my advise will be from the perspective of growing an audience via original art because you can apply the same principles to fanart so here we go!
Consistency is key. Being a constant presence on your existing followers' feed means having consistent chances for them to share/engage with a piece of your artwork, which means more chances for new eyes to see them which means more chances for followers etc etc. But what's the pace? Well that depends on how brutal you're interested in being with yourself unfortunately....if you die hard want to grow as fast as possible then once a day (i've seen some artist do more;;;) but it's something I would NOT recommend for all sorts of risks. (you can mitigate the risk ofc but that's like a whole thing in itself) I'd advice you to figure out a pace that works for you so that you maintain a healthy relationship with your art
Join events/zines/bandwagons. Whether it's things like drawtober, ffxiv art parties, or zines, engaging with community/communal activities (especially those with hashtags/promos) can help you engage with people who might not have found you otherwise. If you're a social person it's a great chance for you to make friends who have similar interests too! Making art related to a piece of media that just came out is also great way of engagement since people are probably looking for it (for example spidersonas or dressing OCs in outfits to watch the barbie movie)
Make it easy to find your art when someone visits your page. It doesn't necessarily have to be a full portfolio, but giving viewers a place to see only your art posts is crucial imo. Tumblr is great since it's tagging system is fantastic making this part easy but places like Twitter for example only have a single media tab; so making a thread for art post or keeping your media tab clean is ideal. (you've no idea have many artists i've chosen not to follow cause their media tab is 1 awesome piece of art then just 500 cursed memes/reaction images lol)
HARDEST BUT MOST IMPORTANT POINT! Make compelling art. I follow artists who post a piece of art maybe once every....I dunno 3 months if even that, but when they do they get thousands of notes, why? Because it is a compelling piece of art. Something that touches the heart or makes you gasp in awe or swoon from it's vision or die laughing. And this is the hardest point because what that looks like is completely unique to you. Basically it is your answer to the question of "Why do I make art?" which artists everywhere all around the world, regardless of genre or industry, are trying to answer themselves. The one thing you MUST REMEMBER while you try to figure this point out is that it must involve Love. That means loving the journey; the grueling failures, steep learning curves, and all, because if even you don't love what you're trying to create other won't either. And that's not to say you have to be happy about a piece of art not turning out right (I still cry from frustration myself all the time) but it does mean be kind to yourself when you fall so you can pick yourself up easier when you stand again
THAT WAS SUPER LONG WOW! With all that said tho those 1st 2 points for growing an audience is what I would recommend focusing on! The internet is all about engagement and you can't have that if there's nothing to engage with! Also because it just bears mentioning that sometimes it is just a skill thing and you just have to get better at drawing BUT that is not to say skillful=complex! Nonono take a look at webtoons like "My Giant Nerd Boyfriend" by fishball or "Sarah's Scribbles" by Sarah Andersen. Or illustrator's like loonpflug or mmeiccaa. It's not complex but it's some FKIN GOOD ART!
Ok I will stop my ranting here GOOD LUCK AND DON'T FORGET TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF!! You are more than how many numbers you make on the internet and I hope that you always remember that 💖
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androdragynous · 8 months
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slightly strange question, feel free to ignore if it's too weird/makes you uncomfortable in any way.
hi i'm also a mobility aid user who loves character customization and also video game design. i kinda. collect? posts ppl make where they talk about how character customizations have excluded them or failed to account for the true range of human experience (ex, weight sliders that go from thin to not-quite-as-thin, lack of black hairstyles, lack of mobility aid options, no limb difference options, no hearing aids, etc). and i know that no character customizer could ever TRULY cover the entire range, but i also am fueled by spite and don't like assholes telling me what is and isn't possible.
so. with that as the background, i would genuinely love to know 1, what kind of mobility aid you use, 2, other grievances you have found with character customizers in the past, 3, other things you don't think are included often enough even if it's not something that applies to you/that you would ever use, and 4, anything else you don't see enough of in terms of video game accessibility
no pressure to respond, of course, and feel free to only respond to some of these (again, zero pressure at all!) but i love collecting data from ppl who don't see themselves in character customizers, and i love knowing what can be done to help 💖
I don't mind answering, at least the basics!
At the moment I have a cane and a rollator, though I'm hoping to get a wheelchair for prolonged outings; I mainly end up just using the cane when I go out for transport convenience, to the chagrin of future me
I don't think I have any unusual sentiments on character creators. I don't usually try to make myself or specific characters, so I'm usually just messing around with what I'm given rather than trying to replicate options that don't exist. Don't like that eye patches usually take up the single head accessory slot, even though you can stack them with other things in real life, including other eyewear.
The ones you mentioned are definitely ones missing a lot. I don't think I've ever seen a game that lets you have a service animal even purely cosmetically, like a seeing eye dog. Not a lot of options for facial asymmetry. I think it would be neat to be able to select the amount of facial expression your character does in games where that's shown, like Dragon Age or Fallout, or to be able to select sign language for your character rather than speaking.
Is "everything" a sufficient answer for missing accessibility? Honestly, there's not a lot that's in there to start with. Flash / strobe toggles, distortion filter toggles, particle effects toggles, UI and caption font + scaling options. Hmm. Button mapping obviously. Motion controls or one handed controls when possible. Sound cues for collisions with walls / objects, or sound cues to indicate you're on the right path to a destination or something important is nearby (Nirnroot, for all of the jokes about it, makes a good example). Color / contrast adjustments beyond just overall brightness scaling - being able to darken the backgrounds so objects and NPCs stand out more, for example. Spoken UI options. Sound effect + directional captions. Saving at any time and pausing at any time. Volume scales broken down into sections instead of just one master volume slider. Ui dark / light modes. Icon-heavy UI having text along with the symbols. Warnings for anything that might have to be toggled (like flashing) so it doesn't come as a surprise later. UI for accessibility settings being clear and accessible in itself - if I can't find the settings for limited vision because I have limited vision, it's not accessible.
That's all I can think of off the top of my head; hope it's useful to you!
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kenobster · 3 months
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I can see that the whole stewjoni dualsex thing might be problematic... at times... maybe... But counterpoint: a) knock him up and b) uh, um, Triple Penetration In Three Holes
Look lmao, I'm not here to say what's problematic or unproblematic (unless you hate Anakin, of course... in which case, please consult my very serious Ted Talk on the subject).
Anyway, I said what I said in that answer, not because I think ppl who write Stewjoni biology should stop (I'm not a party pooper nor an anti, so please carry on ^_^), but rather because I was furious over a blatant hypocrisy on someone else's post lmao.
But on a personal level re your counterpoints.... and how do I say this gently...... Oh! Right:
YKINMKATO
Lmao, there we go.
In case anyone would like to drizzle some Fine Kenobster Tastebuds over their Fic Perusing Repertoires, they're absolutely welcome to consider my below counter-counterpoints.
(Note: I am incapable of getting horny over consensual smut, so we're assuming these are noncon/dubcon adjacent, but in full honesty, I'm sure you could wiggle these into any smut fantasy of your choosing.)
counter-counterpoint #1: i've read fic that made fortuna's thumb more erotic than any number of simultaneous penetrations.
counter-counterpoint #2: if u wanna get a biological boy knocked up, see below for instructions:
Step 1: Detach the bowels from the blorbo's anus and connect them to an external poop bag instead;
Step 2: Insert a uterus (along with a pre-fertilized egg attached to its lining) into the blorbo's abdomen;
Step 3: Connect the anus to the cervix (please note that no other modification to the anus is necessary);
Step 4: Ejaculate into blorbo's anus repeatedly (please note that, as the egg is already fertilized, this step may be completed as a fun little treat or skipped at your leisure);
Step 5: Pump blorbo full of pregnancy hormones while you wait for the fetus to grow to term;
Step 6: When your blorbo begins to go into labor, watch with mirth as his body fails to eject the baby through such an inelastic hole. Feel free to laugh yourself giddy as his ass-muscles get all torn up and scarred.
Step 7: Unless your goal is for your blorbo and its fetus to die, eventually show him some mercy and conduct a C-Section.
In other words, don't be a pussy about giving the blorbo a pussy.
counter-counterpoint #3: may I direct your attention to the many cunt-having blorbos out there? For example, Padmé has some very Obi-Wan-esque qualities, and she comes with a canonical interest in pregnancy and ready-to-lactate boobs! "But Padmé's not a Jedi," you whine. Bitch, please. If you're giving Obi-wan a cunt, then I think you can make Padmé a Jedi, yeah? -pats your head- Live your dream. Be free. <3
***
Anyway, if you were hoping for some serious thoughts in response to your ask, then (1) I apologize lmao, I have chronic inability-to-be-serious blogger syndrome; and (2) please copy paste your ask and resubmit it here instead. ^_^ If you do that, I promise that you will get a very comprehensive post that describes my exact opinions on the subject, no joke. Give it a whirl.
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yardsards · 2 years
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one of my least favourite traits about myself is that i really don't know the social skills to move from "good acquaintances" to "actual friends" and every friend i've ever had was either A) an extrovert with good social skills that decided to befriend me for some unknown reason and i clung to like an orphaned duckling B) someone i met THROUGH one of said extroverts and we became friends by association until we spent enough time hanging around the same person to become actual friends
#eliot posts#this method works when you go to a tiny high school w a 100 kid graduating class#where u see the same ppl (even if ur in different grades) basically constantly#especially if ur in a sport or extracurricular (which was marching band for me)#tho i mightve just lucked out there bc i never befriended anyone through rifle team or theater club#but yeah like my first year in that a girl a year older than me took me in and i met that whole friend group from her#we were both trumpet players. and there were only like 6 ppl in that section. and we had some similar tastes in books and music#(also she somehow clocked me as A Fellow Queer despite me being hella closeted abt my sexuality and not even REALIZING i was trans yet)#(which. when you go to a high school which made national news for its homo/transphobia it's important to stick together)#but also i know she made a deliberate effort to talk to ppl who seemed to not have anyone bc she used to be bullied a lot#the friendship started out really good but everything slowly went to shit til it reached a breaking point my junior year. long story.#but before that i befriended a lof of her friends and one of them even became a SECOND Emotional Support Extrovert#and the thing that caused us to go our separate ways ALSO caused our shared friends to want to separate from her too#i got our friends in The Divorce ig. or rather THEY got ME bc their problems w her were way more major#i lost contact w most of em after i graduated but i still talk very often to that one second extrovert i clung to#we live far apart now but he's somehow just the easiest person to talk to and i direct message him more than anyone else#and he said i'm the same for him#i never met any friends THROUGH him but i got his friendship so i ain't complainin#my only close friend in elementary school just kinda stuck himself to my side like a lamprey#never met anyone through him either but over a decade later we're still good pals even after we changed so much growing up#in middle school i befriended one of my cousins bc our big sibs were friends and we shared interests and were both closeted queers#but we lived in different states and only got to see each other on holidays and summers so our friendship was 80% online#he introduced me to his online friends. some of them introduced me to THEIR online friends. all my online friends started with him#but anyway this method does NOT work in a big college AT ALL bc there's so many people and it's just so easy to fade into the background#my senior year of high school and freshman year of college i read up a lot on social skills#and gave myself challenges to talk to or compliment someone i wouldn't normally talk to every single day to force me to face my anxieties#but that only gets you good acquaintances there's no advice out there to get from there to friendship so i have no close friends here#it sucks and i want to stop being like this but i don't know how#i only have a year til graduation so i guess it's not that bad but i have a sneaking suspicion that Real Adulthood will just be even harder
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taeovo · 3 years
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let me be by your side
fwb!taeyong; explicit smut; part 3
read part 1 and 2 here
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summary: best friend taeyong thinks you're really clueless, but it's okay, he likes you anyway.
word count: 4k
(an: hi!! i originally didn't have a part 3 planned that's why this took so long lol but y'all kept asking for it so idk maybe i want people to have a happy ending. also yes, y/n doesn't think too much. i wanted representation of dumb ppl who have no critical thinking skills <3 lmao. anyway, i hope u enjoy ur thorny (taeyong horny) hours and have a cool day babes ~~ )
Being friends with benefits with Taeyong was as easy as lying down on a summer’s day and feeling happy. The both of you were good at it; too good you think, to the point that you feel bad about it. It’s because Taeyong was always a generous giver, almost as if he got off to you getting off, which you didn't mind, of course. And you, you were cool and detached, or so you like to think. When whatever lewd variation of sex you experiment with is over, you withdraw, like you know you should, and Taeyong would kind of chase your retreating form with an expression he always had with you in that context. It’s one you never tried to find the name for, in fear of the burden that could come after learning.
But you never actually convinced yourself Taeyong could like you. Sure, he could be attracted to you since you are having sex. You have felt that pining for him as well. You’re also best friends at this point, so wanting to see him after a tiring class or buying sweet snacks for him is totally normal. It’s a by-product of a very healthy reaction to the relationship you both agreed to have.
You ran these things through your mind as you watch him study–like actually, really study– at the corner of the library floor you were in charge of. The months passed by quickly and you got reassigned to a new section. It was all the way to the 6th floor of a 7-floor building, so you were sure Taeyong didn’t study there just because he found more resources where you both were.
It’s because I’m here and we can have a hot library make-out session when we’re alone, you mused. Biting your lip, you shook your head from the ridiculous idea. Taeyong is a human and not a means to an end, you repeated in your head. Just because you were horny most of the time now, doesn’t mean you should think and act like a crazy woman.
Although, how couldn’t you? It felt like at the end of every week, you and Taeyong would fool around, get dinner together, and laundry your sheets because you refuse to sleep in a cum-stained bed. You couldn’t complain to him either. You liked watching Taeyong come the fuck out of his life, your name spilling from his lips, after you sit on him and gyrate as slow and as torturous for him as possible.
You definitely were going insane. You're imagining how Taeyong's dick felt inside of you while he was just innocently highlighting his notes. You sighed. You’ve become an awful friend and a maniac.
In the midst of your internal battle, Taeyong smiled softly. He knew, of course, of the conflicted feelings you’ve been having lately. It was all part of his master plan of getting you to like him. He’s managed to infiltrate your daily life and it’ll only be a matter of time before you realize that he belongs in it. He knew you were emotionally dense. He’d whisper how much he loved you on the crook of your neck and you’d have no clue because you thought he just had a dirty talking kink, and according to you, you don’t kink shame. So, since then, he just decided to be obvious. Sadly, no matter how shameless he gets, your head still thinks that the world is like a math equation. You’d never figure out he has a crush on you—can he still even call it a crush at this point?
That's why he even goes to this section. Hit two birds with one stone, in his opinion. He can study, use his school tuition well, improve his grades, and he can also watch you squirm in your seat for two hours before your shift ends and you ask him if he’s interested in the new arrival of books you have to sort through in the very quiet, very out of people's sight stock room. Like two proper fools in love, you both sat no farther than 10 feet away from each other, and yet the only thought that kept running in your imaginations are of each other.
After an hour and forty-five minutes, just on time, Taeyong watched you rearrange your booth, which signaled that your shift was about to end. He started packing up, too. He was silently doing so, when a girl he didn’t know, bleach blonde , doe-eyed, and adorable, to say the least, sat down in front of him. Mildly flustered, Taeyong looked at her directly, eyes wide in confusion. “Can I help you?” he asked.
“Yeah, you can. I’m Daseul. We have Communications together. You remember me? I usually sit behind you,” the girl replied. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and continued. “I was just wondering if you’d like to study some time? Together?” Daseul flashed a grin and placed a hand on his forearm.
Involuntarily, Taeyong chuckled. She was really brazen. Brave, but kind of shameless. He grabbed her hand and replaced it back to her side of the table. "Uh, thanks but I'm good. I have someone I'm seeing, if that’s what you're implying. Sorry,” he replied.
Daseul gasped softly and shook her head. "My bad! Of course you’d have someone. I just wanted to shoot my shot,” she trailed off, beginning to become awkward, “Thanks for letting me down easy." She thumped on her forehead lightly and smiled shyly at Taeyong. Taeyong, finding the situation humorous, smiled back. Daseul stood up, but before leaving, she took Taeyong's notebook, scratched some numbers down, and slid it back to him.
Daseul fiddled with the strap of her bag. "Call me if that doesn't work out."
Taeyong shook his head. "Don’t count on it. I really like her.”
"Hey, you never know." Daseul giggled and hurried away. Taeyong felt elated, like a new man. It’s what happens when someone finds you attractive enough, even with the possibility of rejection. He smirked at her and watched her leave. He read the numbers, tore the page off, and crumpled it up. He had better things to do and telling you this funny story was one of them, hoping that maybe a tinge of jealousy could sprout in your heart somehow. He looked towards the direction of your booth and found that you weren't there anymore. Thinking that you went ahead of him, he proceeded downstairs and waited by the exit.
Ten minutes later and still no sign of you, Taeyong took out his phone to call you.
"Taeyong? Why are you calling me?"
"What? Hey, where are you? I thought we were going somewhere?"
"Oh, no, you don't have to do that anymore. We're good."
"What?"
"It's okay. I have plans of my own. Have fun with yours!"
The call abruptly ended and Taeyong spent the next few minutes staring at his phone and backtracking the conversation. He tried to be understanding but you weren’t really the type to suddenly cancel plans—plans that were very near and dear for the both of you. Taeyong felt bummed out but he retreated back home. Maybe you were just tired and was having an introvert night-in. He wanted to see you though. Oh well.
+++
It wasn't long until Taeyong realized he hadn't spoken to you in a week. It started out with you being a bit too busy and him being preoccupied with a few things as well. But for some reason, he can't catch you on your shift when he did have a day off. When he sent texts, you always answered in this vague way that automatically made him think you don't want to be bothered. And who is he to do so? In a very Taeyong like way, he just suffered by himself, or waited it out, in his own words, for the time that you come back around. Maybe it was a bad week or maybe you were just not in the mood or maybe, but God forbid, you had a date with someone. He wasn't sure how he’ll react to it but when he thinks about his long game, his plan to keep you by his side for a long time, he would settle for anything, even enduring the thought of other people being as close to you as he was.
+++
One fine day, two and a half weeks after your last proper conversation, Taeyong decided that he’ll just get it over with. Whatever the cost, before some charming philanthropist type or whatever sweeps you off your feet, he'll just get it over with or die trying. He’ll just bribe your roommate, ask her to make you come home and let you two have some privacy, and camp in your dorm room because eventually you’ll have to come back, then have mind-blowing make-up sex to whatever caused you to part like this. He wasn’t sure actually, but after days on end of racking his brain, he surrendered and like a lost puppy, found his way back to your place.
His plan proceeded as he thought, because your roommate was so forgiving and enjoyed a good bribe. Taeyong bought a giant stuffed bunny in case you were mad and set it on your bed. At least, he thought, something of mine can always be with you. Taeyong sat on your bed, fiddling with his thumbs, uneasy in his stomach. He kept petting the bunny’s head and eyeing the door. Does he miss you? Is that why he's this nervous?
+++
About twenty minutes passed when Taeyong heard your door unlock. He’d taken a short nap and his mind was whizzing with excitement. Again, how much he liked you was so childlike, it was comical. You were surprised to see him there and he bolted upright, wordless, as you approached him. You looked pretty, in a plain sweater and messily done braid, but maybe it’s because it’s you, that’s why even in such a simple state, he can’t do too much thinking.
“Oh? Taeyong? Why are you here? Is that yours?” you asked, pointing to the stuffed bunny, voice calm and steady, as if nothing was wrong.
“No, it’s yours now. Do you like it?” he started.
You nodded. “I’ll keep it, okay? Since you brought it here. Now, explain? Why are you here?”
“Are you avoiding me?” Taeyong blurted out.
You placed your bag on the ground and furrowed your brows at him. “Uh…yeah? Isn't that our deal?” You took off your sweater and was left with a thin white inner shirt. You sat on your roommate’s bed opposite yours and Taeyong, trying not to be distracted with how see-through he’s imagining your shirt was, stood his ground.
“What deal? What are you talking about?” Taeyong questioned.
“Our arrangement? You know, the rules we talked about. Don’t you remember? We agreed that if someone special came into the other's lives, we'll just stop,” you said, increasingly becoming as confused as Taeyong was.
“What? Y/N, what could have warranted us not seeing each other for this long. What someone special? I haven't spoken to you in almost three weeks, thinking that I upset you, somehow. I was about to go crazy. I have gone crazy. Do you know how much time I spent just waiting for you at the library, at the cafe we go to, at your college building, even when I don't have classes there!” Taeyong ranted, pacing back and forth the small area.
You looked up at him. “Why did you do that? And also why didn't you just text me?”
“I did! And you replied, "Alright cool" after 10 messages. Messages of desperation, might I add! I started overthinking and—”
“Taeyong,” you cut him. “I just didn't think you'd want your girl to see me! Chill out, man!”
Taeyong whipped his head towards you. “My girl?”
“Yeah, the girl from the library. The cute one,” you replied.
“Is that what this is about?”
You frowned. “Is it…not? I saw how you looked at her. I was pretty sure you were about to leave together, so I just…kind of let you. She was touching you and everything. I totally respect that, whatever you two have. But honestly, it would've been nice if you gave me a heads-up, that you were seeing someone and someone pretty at that!” You laughed. “And I was kind of bummed about it too because I thought, well, we also had plans that night. Or did we? Was that just me? Anyway, you seemed really affectionate with each other and you know, a deal's a deal. I don't want to abuse you any longer for my selfish needs. Um…” you trailed off. “It was really fun while it lasted though. But I think you don’t want to do it anymore and I don’t want to keep taking advantage of you.”
“Y/N,” Taeyong started.
“I mean, you probably also enjoyed it, but let’s be honest, a lot of it was for my sake, wasn’t it? So, I kind of feel bad because I don’t think it’s a fair trade."
Taeyong breathed deeply. “You abused me? Take advantage of me? That's how you saw it?”
You were puzzled as Taeyon'g's demeanor changed. “Taeyong...why do you seem really upset right now?” you asked.
Taeyong wasn’t just upset. He was infuriated. He was almost boring holes on your face—your pretty but clueless face—from how he stared at you. “You really don't get it, do you, Y/N?”
You blinked.
Taeyong sat on your bed, your knees almost grazing each other’s, his gaze not once withering. “There's no other girl for me than you.”
It was a confession. You knew that, but for some reason, you weren’t surprised. Like a story you once heard now being retold to you, you could only let the truth, now revealed, simmer in the space between the two of you. “But that girl you were with. Aren’t you guys a thing? Wasn't it…?”
Taeyong leaned forward. “What you thought you saw...that’s nothing compared to how you make me feel.” He placed a hand on your knee and was silent for a while. “I was in agony for days and you were here, thinking this nonsense?” He chuckled.
Taeyong rubbed your knee with his thumb. Your breath labored and you felt hot all of a sudden.
“Y/N, I’ll use my words clearly, so listen well,” he spoke tenderly. “I like you, since the day we met. It’s shallow, I know, but as I spent so much of my time with you, so much of my body, and who I am, I couldn’t help but keep liking you, to the point that it pains me to see how dumb you are to not have sensed any of this.”
“Hey…” you tried to argue.
“I’m having a moment, okay,” Taeyong remarked, but as his big, pearly eyes scanned your face, his hand found its way to yours. “I won’t trouble you if you don’t like me that way. But let me stay like this with you. Even as a friend, I won’t mind. Smile at me like you’ve always had. Don’t be conscious or hesitate when you’re with me. Just be as you always have been. It’ll be awkward after this, but I hope you at least let me have that,” Taeyong resigned.
You couldn’t move. You were focusing on Taeyong’s words, yes, but you were also increasingly aware of his exposed knee situated between your thighs and the warmth pooling in between your legs. The soft curve of his palm and yours cradled inside it made you look down. Your entangled fingers laid on top of your right thigh and in a flash, you couldn’t take it anymore. You grabbed Taeyong’s face and married your mouth with his. Without warning, you licked his tongue and pushed him on top of your bed, having the decency to not do it on your roommate’s.
Taeyong was surprised, to say the least. He was so swept up by his own emotions that he forgot how tenacious you were sometimes. He smiled into the kiss. You were always impatient and this time, he was thankful you were. Already ahead of him, you pushed up his shirt and undid your bra, flinging it to the side before he even could come to his senses.
“Y/N,” he whispers. He lifted the both of you higher up on the bed and continued to suck on your lip, his bad habit that you secretly enjoyed. You ran your hands from his jaw, to his neck, down to his shoulders. You kiss him once more and pulled away, “Why did you make it sound so sad?” You kissed his chin. “I felt like a horrible person because I roped you into this and you were always so—” you kissed the side of his mouth. “So caring of me. I thought I didn’t deserve that and it made me feel bad.” A kiss on the nose. “So bad, Taeyong.” A kiss on the lips.
Taeyong drowsily listened to you. “All you had to do was tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.
Taeyong kissed your shoulder, your collarbone, the top of your chest. “Didn’t want to lose you, lose this,” he murmured into your skin.
You kissed his temple and adjusted to straddle him. You lift his face up to meet yours. “I’m sorry I took so long. Maybe I am dumb.” You smiled. Taeyong’s heart fluttered. He stopped being able to process whatever was happening since his knee crisscrossed with yours. He’s on auto-pilot. “Thank you for waiting. I’m here now,” you said softly, as if it was the biggest secret, and your only job was to tell him.
Taeyong grinned widely, all boyish and excited, and for the first time—first official time, you knew you fell for Taeyong. You had a crush on him now. Taeyong went back to your chest and placed a tender kiss on your nipple. While his fingers played with the other, he grazed his tongue over it and swirled it around his mouth. His unoccupied hand traveled between your thighs and you spread your legs for him like it was the most natural thing in the world. That’s how he knew his plan worked. This was so normal to the both of you, you fell open to his touch. But if only he knew then that all it would take was a moment like this, then he wouldn’t have wasted so much time and suppressed so much of himself because he didn't want to lose you.
You pulled away from him to shimmy out of your pants. Taeyong laughed and took it as an opportunity to get a condom from the side drawer.
“Nope, not yet,” you told him, standing in your panties. “Me first.”
Taeyong was amused as he watched you pull down his joggers. You crouched on your bed and touched his dick. He leaned on the wall for support. Taeyong was delirious from the sight of you pushing his dick down your throat. You’ve mastered it already, in his opinion. On top of being perfect for him, you also fight against your gag reflex. Even when he doesn’t push it, you insist on getting him as far back as you can. This can only result in Taeyong’s utmost pleasure; one of the times he can convince himself you like him too.
Wait, you already do, he remembered.
He suddenly felt so alive. He looked down fondly on your head bobbing up and down his length when he got the sudden urge to feel your heat. He stopped you and before you complained, he hoisted you up on the bed and kissed you, deeply, sincerely, as if he still wanted to tell you how much he liked you through it. You liked kissing, so his ardor was welcomed. Taeyong’s right hand went back to your clothed core and teased it through your panties, feeling it grow wetter and wetter.
“Baby…” you cooed. Eyes closed, you peered down to watch his fingers. Taeyong smiled and tugged the panties down. He caressed your thighs before pressing his knuckles on your clit. After massaging it, earning a few erotic exhales from you, he slipped two fingers easily and pumped at a rhythmic pace. Soon enough, you felt vibrant all over your body. You kissed Taeyong’s neck repeatedly, biting and nipping, as he savored the sensation of your slick center drenching his hand, the heat almost radiating.
“Taeyong, now, now, now,” you whined. “Please get inside me now.”
“Always so impatient,” he remarked. Taeyong took the condom from earlier and struggled to open it. You grabbed it and swiftly rolled it down his length while he watched you in amazement. Having sex with you was always the most entertaining for him.
“You want me to ride you?” you proposed. Taeyong shook his head. “I want to romantically do this, so we do missionary,” he replied. You laughed, trying to remove the sudden bout of nerves. Tonight was, in fact, the first time you will do it not as friend, but as people who are in love.
Love, you hummed. It feels so new in my mouth.
You still weren’t sure what that meant and if it is what you felt exactly, but it’s what Taeyong acted with as he gazed in your eyes, his dick almost inside of you, making sure that he can do with this moment whatever he wanted. You placed your hands on his back and pushed him towards you. He kissed you first, and then he filled you. You gasped, which is why he kissed you. He liked it when you did it, conflating his ego in ways only you can. He started immediately, minutely at first, but then he plunged strongly as soon as he felt the build-up of his orgasm start.
You were grateful you were so turned on, because it hadn’t even been that long since Taeyong pumped his size in and out of you when you felt electricity running up and down your arms and legs.
“Y/N, open your legs wider.” Taeyong raised one of your legs over his and drove into you. You were seeing colors and in every shade, Taeyong was in them. Hearing his name like a cry from your lips, Taeyong kissed every part of you he had access to and though his hips were straining, his thighs burning from his own pace, he kept going, determined to make you come first, so he can watch what he does to you.
“Oh my god, that’s so good,” you moaned. “Taeyong, please, I—”
Taeyong sped up, all caution thrown in the wind, he can see every contour of your pleasure drawn on your face, while ignoring his own, he sent you to your orgasm. You felt your whole body tighten. Hazily, you focus on Taeyong’s hair sticking on his forehead. With a few more thrusts, you unraveled. You melted on your bed, shaking from your climax as Taeyong chased after his.
“Y/N, look at me. Look at me,” Taeyong requested, and you do. “Call out my name.”
“Taeyong,” you said without hesitation. “Taeyong. Taeyong. Taeyong.”
He had his eyes shut as he kept roughly thrusting. “Taeyong. Taeyong. Taeyong,” you repeated. “Come for me, sweetheart. Come for me.” With your velvet voice echoing in his ears, he pulled out and came so much into the condom. You soothe him as he struggled to find his breath. You tilted his chin to kiss him, and he pushed you down your pillow into a sweet embrace. It was nothing new, the scene you were in, but it felt like succeeding, like winning for the first time.
Taeyong inhaled the smell of sex on your skin. He pulled away to look at you. “You won’t leave me?” he asked. You bit your lip and shook your head. “Nope,” you replied with a coy smile.
“Do you consent to dating me?” He asked earnestly.
You laughed. “Why say it like that?”
“Do you?” he repeated, burrowing his face into your neck, his voice muffled by your hair.
“Yeah, I do,” you responded softly.
Taeyong rolled to your side and pulled you in to cuddle. He was beaming, even brighter than the lampshade, next to him. “Since now you are my girlfriend, can you call me your boyfriend?” Taeyong implored. You hummed and batted your eyelashes at him, refusing to give an answer.
Taeyong got nervous for a second and his expression became serious. You could read the entire transcript of his thoughts on his face. Before he actually frets, you kissed him. “Boyfriend, must you worry like that?” you teased.
Taeyong giggled. “Because it’s you, yes.” Taeyong pecked your cheek and brought you into a tighter embrace. In the end, it didn’t really matter how much he waited for you. It was this end he was going to get to, that’s why it was alright. Lee Taeyong still had you by your side. Nothing has changed, and perhaps to him, that's all he really needed.
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vyl3tpwny · 3 years
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parasocial relationships
something i never thought i'd deal with was having ppl form parasocial relationships with me, i thought maybe i wouldn't be cool enough or interesting enough for that, but whateveer.
it's such a complicated subject, because it takes the form of many different nuances. and this problem has gotten so much worse in the past year alone, given that more people are hearing about me and choosing to support me and interact with me and my work.
i'm heavily introverted, reclusive, and really know who my friends are. sometimes i'll meet new ppl and thats cool and sometimes i'll vibe with one or two and thats cool. but that's my own accord, it's a two way thing. a lot of the times i'll respond to someone's inquiry or comment because i want to try and acknowledge them and then suddenly they're talking to me like we're best friends. sometimes i'll try and be helpful or attentive to someone and then they'll start pushing boundaries, asking personal questions, and acting like i'm a bad person for giving them short responses or no reply at all. sometimes i will have worked with someone or interacted with someone who's supported me and because of that connection, they start to treat our casual acquaintanceship with each other as something that can be exploited — used as a way to talk to me all the time. sometimes i wont even interact with someone and i'll find them writing love letters to me or writing really stupidly, parasocially inappropriate things in my comments sections and replies. in all cases, i'm uncomfortable.
i have a lot of messages to answer every day, and it takes a lot of energy and willpower for someone like me to respond and be attentive. ive fallen into states of depression for just trying to bring myself to answer people sometimes. and through all of that, ppl find themselves spamming my inbox with things and pushing my boundaries, ignoring my statuses, and sometimes even mocking me for expressing in some way that i dont want to talk.
and its especially hard when there are people who connect a lot with my music and the things i convey through my work. because sometimes it feels like i've helped them a lot, they begin to think of it as a direct interaction and so on and so forth.
my brain can't handle it.
and i don't know what to do. sometimes it comes from someone who's supporting me and i dont want to be rude, or sometimes it comes from someone i may have interacted with more frequently in the past. but i honestly can't handle this at all. i want to be a nice person and i want to be reasonable and helpful.
another thing that rlly stresses me out is when ppl's only interaction with me is spamming my inbox with shitposts. like, i get it, i love funny things and i love being weird. but 1.) again i need a lott of energy to answer messages so when i finally muster myself and just see a gif sitting there i get so anxious and whatever 2.) i really would prefer not to be only "internet funny person" to someone.
sometimes it's hard esp if the other person doesn't really understand what they're doing. and i feel bad expressing "hey can you stop talking to me it stresses me out" because i dont know how to disengage from people without coming off as dismissive. so i just end up ignoring a lot of messages or coming off as short anyway.
im just dumping my thoughts out here. but this has been really affecting me a lot the past two years, and especially within the last 6 months. idk if i'm going to just have to concede being nice to everyone or what. its just really breaking my mental health.
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cancerbiophd · 6 years
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Hi do u have any tips for science writing in general? I have to write a paper analysis for a microbio class but since most ppl in the class are in 4th year (I'm only in 2nd) the prof says she's expecting higher quality. I'm worried bc the only science writing ive done is lab reports
hello!
that sounds quite intimidating! let’s see if i can help you out. so these are tips that have worked for me (or i’ve seen work for others based on what i’ve read/edited/etc). for science writing in general:
know your audience. how much prior knowledge of the subject do they know? what is the purpose of them reading this article? who your audience is will dictate how you write your article. in your case, it’s your professor, so they probably know a lot about the subject (or maybe not! maybe you’ll write about some niche topic they haven’t studied yet), they’re reading to grade, so they’ll be paying attention to things on the grading rubric, etc. these are all things to keep in mind when you’re prepping, outlining, drafting, and editing. 
structure your essay so it’s a story. just like any other essay, science articles should also have a beginning (intro and statement), a middle (paragraphs to support your statement), and an end (conclusion). usually in science essays the conclusion also serves as a discussion where the writer can finally insert their own opinions on things, and further discuss why the results in the article are important for broader implications. 
be concise. science writing is not like some other styles of writing in that it’s best to avoid fluff, unnecessary descriptions, flowery language, etc. keep it short and simple.
if you need to use jargon or abbreviations, be sure to define them (for jagon), and give the full phrasing (for abbreviations) the first time they’re used.
avoid using absolutes unless it really is an absolute. in science, hardly anything is 100% certain. that’s why phrases like these are used a lot: “the data suggest”, “x may be caused by y”, “x has been shown in controlled experiments to be caused by y”, “thus it can been hypothesized”, etc. unless it’s a law (like gravity), then we can never use an absolute to describe it, and biology especially is a lawless land. 
related, keep in mind that the word “data” is plural for “datum”. so it’s “the data are” not “the data is”. (i still catch myself making this mistake alskdfj)
like most writing, avoid the passive voice whenever possible, and keep to the same verb tense.
practice summarizing research results into concise sentences for your supporting points. it can be difficult to wade through all that jargon and data in an article, so it definitely takes practice. it’s almost like reading comprehension dialed up to 12. article titles and abstracts help with this a lot, as the authors have already summarized their main findings there. reading good examples can also help (like science news articles from reputable sources–you can see what kind of language they use to summarize key points). 
present data in an unbiased way. you may be writing an essay that argues one point over another, but that opinion should not leak into when you present study results. Ex. “60% of animals treated with ABC survived to the study endpoint, versus 10% of animals receiving the control” is unbiased, whereas “ABC had exceptional results in a study where the majority of animals treated survived” sounds pretty darn biased in favor of ABC, and may not be an accurate reporting of the results (maybe the drug actually sucked upon further studies?). Of course, if your essay statement is arguing in favor of ABC, then you can follow up your unbiased presentation of the results with something like “This study showed the efficacy of ABC in a controlled in vivo setting, and thus has promise for further studies”. 
however, “laundry-listing” data and results can make for a very boring read, so be unbiased, yes, but state things in a way where there’s a clear direction or train of thought. this part is tough; i have to admit i’m still practicing this “art” (which it definitely is). take my above example about ABC for instance. which one is easier to follow? the one i gave, or this: “Six out of 10 animals treated with ABC survived until day 42. One out of 10 animals treated with control survived until day 42.” you’ll notice this 2nd option is really stilted, boring, dry, and if the entire results section is presented like this, the reader will surely get lost as to what the point of it all is, and possibly fall asleep. so although personal bias should be avoided, there should still be direction and flow. take care to guide the reader. 
unless it’s your own opinion, every statement needs a citation. i use the free reference manager mendeley (it has a browser plug-in that adds articles you find online to its citation library, and then you can sync it with word doc and it does the citations for you). 
proofread and edit a lot (no one’s first draft is ever perfect), and if possible, send a draft to your professor or TA to look over it and see if you’re on the right track. 
phew! that’s all i can think of for now! i’m sure there’s sooo much more that goes into writing for science (and academia, in a more broad sense), but these are just a few main ones from me. 
if anyone else has something to add, please do!
and good luck anon! you’re going to do great :)
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