#but I'll still have to self-isolate and then do an exit test
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𝐈𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡
Requested by: @masterclassbaby
Summary: You and Mason have been living together throughout the whole of the pandemic and it's started to calm down now. But when you test positive for Covid-19, Mason doesn't care if he gets sick too, he just wants to look after you.
Notes: Requests are open for players currently on my Football Masterlist so ask away xx
The cough that I let out racked through my body, hacking and merciless. Since I'd woken up this morning, I'd been feeling like absolute shit. A cough would rip through me every few minutes, my throat felt like it was being scratched out by a cat's claws, my sense of taste and smell? Non-existent. I'd tested positive for coronavirus a few days before my symptoms had begun to show and Mason and I had immediately made the decision to sleep in different rooms, just in case I passed it onto him. I knew what effects it would have on his career if he got seriously unwell and I wasn't letting him risk everything he'd worked towards, no matter how hard it was to sleep in a bed without him next to me. It was weird not waking up to forehead kisses and cuddles and weird not being able to kiss him goodbye as he left for training. Because of all the vaccinations and the progression made on slowing the spread of the virus, Mason wasn't made to self-isolate with me. I'd make him do lateral flow tests every morning just to check, making sure his teammates were all kept covid-free too.
I thought I was going to get through my isolation without actually getting sick, possibly just being a carrier. But the way I felt this morning didn't make me feel very hopeful about that. Or hopeful at all. When I'd managed to get myself out of bed, I noticed Mason had already left for work. I struggled to walk, making my way down the stairs suddenly felt like a great feat. By the time I'd crashed back onto my bed, I couldn't lift my head back off my pillow and my eyes could barely open. My body just felt so tired.
A couple of hours later, I hear the door open and Mason shouts up to me.
"Baby?" I don't even have the energy to shout back to him, my throat in too much agony. I hear a rush of feet hurry up the stairs and my door creaks open. His face drops, I'm clearly not looking my best whilst huddled up in all the blankets I could find, and my duvet.
"Oh, baby..." he says making his way over to me.
"Mase, don't, you'll get sick too," I say as he places his hand on the top of my head. He flips his hand over and feels the heat of my cheeks, still fussing over me.
"Mase, seriously, I don't want you catching anything," I croak out. He shakes his head.
"I don't care, I'll just stay at home too, then we can look after each other," he says before rushing downstairs. I watch his figure leave the room, a confused look on my face, but it's not long before he's back. He turns the light on, my eyes not liking it in the slightest and causing me to wince slightly in pain.
"Shit, I'm sorry, love," he apologises before sitting down next to me on the bed, an assortment of medicines being dumped next to him.
"I'm going to need you to sit up for me." My attempt is futile and Mason has to help pull me up so that my back is against the headboard.
"Look, I know you hate this stuff," Mason begins, holding up a bottle of Covonia cough medicine, provoking a groan, "but it should stop that nasty cough you have. And I've got some Vaporub for your blocked nose, Strepsils for your throat and some Ibuprofen." I smile weakly, it's cute how his protective instinct kicks in, even when it's a sickness, he's always been that way. I really don't want to accept his help though, knowing what close contact could mean for him.
"Mase, I know you're trying to help, bu-"
"No buts,"
"What a shame," I say playfully, trying the best I can to be light-hearted, "but seriously Mase, if you get sick, it could have lasting health effects for you. And who knows what that would mean for your career. You'd have to work so hard to get your fitness back to where it is right now, you wouldn't be able to start matches for weeks. You've worked so hard to get to where you are today, I'm not letting you jeopardise it because I'm a little bit unwell,"
"Well, it's a good thing it's my choice, you don't have to let me. I'm going to look after you. In sickness and in health and all that," I roll my eyes at his perseverance.
"So, are you going to let me help?" he asks, pouring a 5ml spoonful of the cough medicine. I nod weakly, knowing there's no way I could ever win this argument. I open my mouth, ready for the foul-tasting liquid. I quickly swallow it, my loss of taste meaning that the flavour was a little milder. He follows straight up with a second spoonful, getting it over and done with. He follows with an Ibuprofen tablet and a glass of water, then a Strepsil, the flavour lost on my tongue. And finally, he finishes with the Vaporub, carefully rubbing it into the skin on my chest.
"Thank you," I rasp. He sits with me until I've finished my Strepsil and then helps me to lay down. He presses a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"I'll bring you a bottle of ice water in a minute and then I'll leave you to rest for a bit," he says, cupping my cheek as I lean into his touch.
"I love you," I whisper, barely audible.
"I love you too, baby," he says, making his exit.
A few hours later, I woke up to Mason's sleeping form clinging to me. His chin lay atop my head, an arm wrapped tightly around my waist and my legs locked in place by his.
"You better not complain, if you get sick," I groan, but secretly loving that I was back in the arms of my boyfriend.
"I won't,"
"I can't believe you got me sick!" Mason complains a few days later, as I give him his very own spoonful of that god-awful cough medicine.
"You said you wouldn't complainnnn," I say in a sing-song voice.
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Ripping 9 to 5 - Butler
Jeremy had enjoyed his first term at university but was looking forward to getting home for the break. Especially becuase he would get to see Adrian again.
Jeremy was really hoping to finally make progress with some guys at Uni but he was still held back by his massive crush on Adrian. It had been holding him back pretty much since he moved in.
The short of it is that Jeremy's family is rich, and Adrian's family went broke when he was a teenager. Being friends with Adrian's father, Jeremy's mother offered to let Adrian live with them. And being the good person he is when he turned 16, a couple years before Jeremy, he offered to be a butler for the family not wanting to be a freeloader. Resistant at first, Jeremy's parents insisted against it, but not wanting to be a freeloader Adrian was adamant.
Jeremy didn't mind as long as it meant that he could still spend time with Adrian. But it did change things. Jeremy found Adrian being more private with him, being more formal, more professional. Jeremy still harboured a crush on him and he still got warm energy from him, but their relationship had changed.
Going away to Uni was his first time not living with Adrian for a while and he missed him. Which is why he decided that when he came back for break he would make an active effort to reconnect with him. And now they were both fully adults he wouldn't have any restrictions.
Walking back into his large family house he said a brief greeting to his parents and had to pry them off him to get to his room for some privacy. Lugging his suitcases up the stairs he could call Adrian to help but he wanted to surprise him.
Getting back to his room for the first time in ages Jeremy felt happy to be back in his element, everything was the same except for the fact that the window was wide open leaving a cold breeze chilling the room, so he quickly closed it. He began to clean himself up in preparation for his reunion with Adrian.
About to leave the room satisfied by his lathering of deodorant and combed hair, Adrian walked towards the door. But before he could arrive he could hear pounding footsteps getting louder from outside. Getting closer to the door so he could get a better hear of it, the door was swiftly pulled open from the other side.
There was Adrian in his typical butler uniform, in those same tight trousers which contributed highly to Jeremy's sexual awakening and that same glowing face. But something was different. He was sweating on his forehead, squirming uncomfortably and had a hand on his stomach, and a shocked expression on his face obviously not expecting the sight of Jeremy.
But Jeremy didn't mind and if he had the element of surprise he could easily reconnect with him. He leaped forward and gave him a tight hug which was responded to with a grunt. Again he didn't care bring so close to him again was contorting. He pulled himself off the butler and gave him a proper look over grinning.
"You miss me?"
Finally breaking a warm but formal smile (yet still looking physically uncomfortable) he replied:
"Yes Master Jeremy very much so."
Putting on am exaggerated frown Jeremy punched him in the arm saying:
"God how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that, it's just Jeremy," Pausing a moment he looked back again at Adrian winking "or whatever you want it to be." With a giggle.
Ignoring Jeremy's advances he walked into the room still looking restless "So um, Jeremy, why are you home early?" He couldn't really make eye contact but he sat down on the bed rubbing his stomach.
"Oh yeah sorry, I gave you the wrong date, thought I'd surprise you" Still smiling Jeremy was happy he was finally seeing a more human side of Adrian.
His butler pondered this for a moment gulping and then looked back to Jeremy with a desperate look. "Jeremy please do me a favour, could you please vacate this room?" It was said with urgency, but obviously not more urgency as Jeremy had to reconnect with Adrian.
"Oh trying to kick me out of my room now? Gosh did you develop an attitude when I was gone?" It was all said playfully and Jeremy wanting to make some contact gave Adrian a weak shove on his side as he sat next to him on the bed as a mock punishment.
But obviously the push caught Adrian off guard and he fell onto his side onto the bed away from Jeremy and grunted what sounded like 'Crap not now'. Surprised by the relatively bad language from the man he didn't hear the rumbling from him, but he certainly heard what came next.
PHRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT
Never in his years of knowing Adrian had he ever imagined him farting. And now all of a sudden Jeremy's nose was being assaulted by a rancid stink exiting his asshole. Adrian was a red panting wreck on the bed after letting the fart out.
"Master Jeremy, I'm so sorry I never meant for you to see that..."
Jeremy wasn't exactly enjoying the smell gagging on it a little, he was surprised that Adrian could produce something so stinky. But seeing him with his guard so down for the first time in years overjoyed him, so he thought he could take advantage of it.
Putting a hand on one of Adrian's he leaned towards him. "Don't worry I still like my Butler, even if he does have a smelly ass." Jeremy joked but it seemed to only make Adrian blush harder.
Adrian leaned up and stood up from the bed pulling his hand out from under Jeremy's and used it to attempt to waft away the lingering smell of his expulsion. "Again Jeremy I'm sorry you had to experience that I really am, and I'm glad to see you are home safe, but I have things to do so I'll see you soon."
Jeremy couldn't have this, Adrian being his same old cold butler self. Especially after ripping the worst fart Jeremy had ever smelt. As Adrian began to exit the room Jeremy grabbed his hand holding him back, making Adrian give Jeremy a sad look back.
"Adrian what changed with you?" Getting serious for a moment Jeremy was able to grab his attention. Adrian took a deep breath sighing and closing the door in front of him. He turned back to give Jeremy and earnest look.
"Back when I was sixteen a lot of changes began happening, with me especially," this time she sat voluntarily close to Jeremy "I became you're family's butler as you know and I've always been in debt to your family..." He took a deep breath "Which is why I knew that when I developed feelings for you I could not follow through on them in case of being unprofessional." Jeremy's heart was pounding not knowing what to say so letting him continue. "Also around the same time as all this was when I started developing my gas problems, in fear of being even more unprofessional I isolated myself from you even more so neither you nor your parents would discover this. I also took the opportunity of your unused room when you went to university as a room to relieve myself, I'm sorry if that sounds crude and I'm sorry if you feel violated but there is no point lying about anything anymore. Feel free to tell your parents as much as you want I'm sure I can find another job..."
Jeremy had enough of Adrian's negativity so he made sure to cut him off with: "You're not going to have to quit!" Which gave Adrian an excuse to smile weakly. "And why didn't you tell me you liked me did you never suspect that I liked you as well?" All Adrian could do was look down in shame. "And why didn't you tell me about your gas problem it really wouldn't bother me it can't be that bad?!" With that last statement Adrian cringed in response.
"Believe me Jeremy it can, and I'm desperately sorry but could I please relieve myself outside or in the hallway I would never want to subject you to that again." He began to try and leave the room again but once again Jeremy pulled him back. Seeing Adrian uncomfortable hurt him so he decided that he would fully accept that side of him.
"Adrian I really don't mind, please don't leave"
Adrian just looked at him then covered his face with one hand embaressed and leaned over a little.
PRRRRRRRRRRRRFT
I did stink, it was disgusting, it reeked. Jeremy wasn't going to pretend it didn't. Maybe he even played up his reaction to play with the mortified Adrian even more but just so he could surprise him more afterwards. After suitably gagging on the rotten stench filling the room, Adrian looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown.
"Jeremy I'm really sorry, I know how much I stink, I really can't help it."
Right as he finished the sentence Jeremy decided it was time to strike. He practically tackled Adrian to the ground and gave him a moment to reject him and then followed with a kiss. It was a great moment for Jeremy lifting a weight from him but he knew he had to explain himself to Adrian.
Pulling himself off Adrian's mouth he ran his hands along the body underneath him.
"Adrian I think I can put up with your stink, especially for you, I tried to forget about you at university but I couldn't so I know I can put up with a little gas."
Adrian looked shocked but happy "Thanks Jeremy, I'm not sure where we can go from here with all these crazy bloody circumstances," Jeremy was happy to hear that he accepted that they could go somewhere "but believe me when I say it's more than 'a little gas', how can you be sure you can put up with it?"
Jeremy didn't exactly expect the conversation to be going this way but he wasn't exactly willing to give up. "Test me, give me the worst you've got! And if it let's me get more well acquainted with that bum of yours then I'll be more than happy!"
Shocked at the crudeness of Jeremy's offer Adrian managed to break a smile but was still worried on Jeremy's behalf. "Are you really sure I don't want to hurt you?"
The warning only made Jeremy laugh. "Dude it's only a few more farts how bad can it be?" All Adrian could do was respond with a sigh knowing he wouldn't be able to get Jeremy to give up.
Adrian just stood up in front of Jeremy arching his back a little, feeling a little happy he's finally able to show off his ass which he is so secretly proud of, knowing the complimentary his tight trousers have on it. Jeremy wasn't complaining having to resist full on spanking the man choosing to only lightly rub the cheeks.
PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPT
It hit hard, surprising Jeremy even though he expected it. The rotten winds blowing out of the butler's ass blew back his hair and made his nostrils flare. The fart seemed like it would never end and it seemed like Adrian was making no effort to stop it spreading his cheeks out with his hands.
The gas finally subsided and Jeremy tried to catch a breath of fresh air but the oxygen around him was fully tainted. Looking back at him Adrian asked:
"Do you see what I mean now?" He looked at the pitiful sight of Jeremy sitting agape his eyes watering from the stink. It was sad for Adrian knowing that man he loved couldn't put up with his gas. "I'm really sorry Jeremy..."
But of course despite the stench intoxicating Jeremy's brain he still had his priorities straight. He grabbed Adrian and pulled him down into another surprise kiss making them both smile again, but Adrian still had doubts.
"Okay so maybe it's a little bit worse than i expected but do you really think that will put me off you?"
Finally giving Jeremy one last serious look, "If you can put up with this one, you can have whatever you want okay?"
Jeremy nodded in response gulping but ready for any challenge. Adrian stood in front of him again but this time he slid down his trousers and underwear displaying his bulbous shining cheeks spilling out his trousers. In spite of their beauty they did come with a natural stink but Jeremy could handle that but it reminded him of what was to come. But mainly Jeremy was focused on finally getting a good view of Adrian's uncovered ass, he was practically drooling. He was so distracted that he barely registered Adrian say:
"I'm sorry for this Jeremy..." And without warning he pulled Jeremy's head into his ass fully smothering him. Jeremy would resist but the cool sensation of being inside Adrian's cheeks was amazing. With a grunt and a rumble inside his rectum, Adrian let loose.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPT
Jeremy could hear Adrian moan in relief letting that one out. A shitty odour attacked Jeremy's nostrils unfiltered by any clothing, this would have repulsed him more if he wasn't in such a heavenly ass. It hurt him to smell but the feeling of Adrian's hole winking on his nose actaully aroused Jeremy which surprised him. He could tell Adrian was about to apologize for his stench again so Jeremy thought he would surprise him, maybe even punish him for forcing his head in his ass.
Adrian began to feel the orgasmic sensation of an explorative tongue invading his hole. The sensation was amazing making him buckle over more, he was certainly beyond the realm of unprofessionalism so he couldn't exactly ask his master to stop. The pleasure on his hole was getting so good that it began to tempt more gas out of his ass.
PHHHHHHHHHRT
PRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Rancid farts began further stinking up Jeremy's engulfed face, but Jeremy had gotten to a point of the smell of Adrian's anal pheremones was beginning to turn him on. Still rimming the butler he decided to put his hands to use using one to unbuckle his trousers and begin rubbing himself and the other to rub Adrian giving him a hint of where this is going. Adrian noticed the shift in atmosphere and smirked realising just how kinky his master is. He unzipped his own trousers giving Jeremy's spare hand more freedom to explore.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRAPPPPP
RRRRRRRRRPPPT
PRAAAAAAAAAFFFFFT
The smell only got more intense filling the room with a scent of ass stink. By this point both of them needed release, their dicks throbbing. Jeremy pushed himself out of Adrian's ass gasping for breath.
"Adrian!" He pulled the man down to face him by his tie in a less serious but still commanding tone he said: "I demand that you put your flatulence to good use and release those winds on my member!"
With a sadistic grin Adrian gave him a quick kiss and said with a more sadistic smile "As you wish..."
He slid his body down resting Jeremy's shaft in-between his cheeks and letting his own push up against Jeremy's chest.
PHRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH
The gas began deep and rumbling, blasting hot gas vibrating against Jeremy but also the gas which escaped managed to instantly cloud both of them filling their nostrils with the rancid cheesy stink making them both moan as it overwhelmed their senses. When the fart reached a crescendo Jeremy thrusted against Adrian stimulating both their dicks enough to prompt climax shooting ropes onto eachother leaving Jeremy's chest and head and Adrian's ass soaked, and the room reeking. Jeremy knew the room was old but he didn't remember the paint peeling off the walls before.
Both men fell into eachother giggling over the insanity of their sexual experience but also in relief that they can finally be with eachother.
In that moment Jeremy was hoping that Adrian's new butler services would extend to putting him to sleep with his ass gas every night, but he was sure that he could persuade the gassy butler somehow.
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Color me moonlight. II
☾ • I • II • III • IV • V • VI • VII ☽
› Summary: Some flowers are not to be plucked, for their thorns are far too sharp for any hand to graze, yet, she was touched. She was soft, fragile, she didn’t know it, but something that beautiful could never be bad. You grew up in a garden of loneliness, do you have a place to bloom? It’s alright, I’ll give you a place and we can bloom together.
› pairing: Taehyung x reader/OC
› genre: angst | m | fluff | sci-fi au | supernatural!au | mutant!au | hybrid!au |
a/n: thank you for all of the love part 1 received! I was really happy to see that some of you are following this story(im personally loving it myself). If there are any questions at all, don’t hesistate to send in an ask! Your feed back is more than welcomed ♥♥
April 7th, 1988.
“Jane Sato, date of Biological Alteration and Repair test run, April 7th, 1988. Time, 1:07 Pm. Subject 1010; 20 years of age, male, 129 lb, 5′9. Biochemistry, molecular biology, bioinformatics, DNA-Polymerase, chromosomal translocation, and genetic isolates are among the primary research conducted for the operation. The patient’s condition of severe cell degeneration, Sickle-cell disease, and genetic malformations —” She paused, the recorders red light still on, “— compatible with all inquiries of biogenetic mutation and enhancement. Surgery will commence accompanied by surgeons, Jackson Blanchard, Stephanie Liu, Hanz Fai, and surgical nurse Joyce Brown. Surgery will now begin.”
The scientists and doctors in the facility watched from the viewing room, standing right at the glass so they wouldn’t miss a thing. Her personal favorite, clair de lune, was the last song on the playlist in the background. After roughly 7 hours, the operation was complete.
“Alright,” She inspected with work they had done over several hours. The surgical mask, gown, and gloves were beginning to become a part of her from how long she had them on, “stitch him up.”
She went to the sink in the back where she had left the recorder and thrown her gloves away.
“7:40 PM. The operation was successful. All vital signs are normal and patient 1010-FS is expected to recover well.”
She washed up before greeting the group of eager professionals who came to witness history. She clears her throat. “Alright, questions?”
‘I have a question doctor. Last month, you discussed the possibility of a program dedicated to your research, can you tell us more about that?’
She nods. “Yes. I‘ve served the Medical Science Advisory for three years now and since the opening of the SRMA Facility, I’ve come far with my research. Starting next year, my program will start.”
“What does the program entail exactly?”
“First, 120 volunteers from all over the country will take part in the experimentation. I won’t reveal everything but I will say this, the participants will undergo extreme DNA modifications and molecular mutation on a supernatural level.”
***
October 19th, 1992. 4 years post-program.
The program commenced in 1989 and experimentations took place at the Science-Medical Facility. Just as she planned, 120 participants were under intensive study and experimentation. More volunteers came from all over, ranging from ages 10 to 30, per Dr. Sato’s request. Recently, Sato had begun to categorize the most and least successful cross-studies. The 4% of experiments with the M2-gene were separated to undergo intensive modification.
“Jane.”
“Yes?” She measured the potent liquid, one drop more and it would kill the receiver.
“Patient 1072.” Her assistant, Diana, placed the clipboard in on the doctor’s work table. “She’s been showing a lot of physical and behavioral progress.”
“1072, she’s in the lower level group, yeah? That’s good” Sato flipped through a book, her gaze softening. “Look at this, in 1973 in the United Kingdom, this poor thing was born with Tay-Sachs disease. She had seizures, vision and hearing loss, intellectual disability, and paralysis and she died at the age of 3.” She sighed. “I could have saved that girl and given her a life without pain and suffering. Those doctors didn’t know what they were doing...that’s why she died.”
Diana cleared her throat, nodding as she waits for the doctor to notice that she came here for something else.
“I’m sorry, what about 1072?”
“Oh, she’s receiving the DNA modification well, I think she can join the 4%.”
“Let me have a look-”
The facility speakers blared.
Dr. Sato to room B012.
“I guess I’ll have to wait.” Sato slipped her reading glasses off and made her way to the elevator so she could get to the 9th floor.
“Doctor, thank God.” Blanchard was standing in front of the patient's room with a few of their colleagues.
“What’s going on?”
“The experiment, he’s developed his first sign of mutation. His body is still weak but he has physical changes, you’d be amazed.” Her eyes brightened, this was her favorite part of the program, witnessing the changes. “We’ve watched him for 4 hours straight and well- You have to see him yourself.”
“Show me.”
He opened the door and let her walk in by herself, the boy sat up on the bed, seemingly normal aside from his extreme lack of pigment in his eyes, they looked translucent, almost pale. That was new. She approached him.
“Touch my hand.” She spoke, waiting for him to do it. “Go on, it’s okay.” He slowly reached his hand to place it on hers. Warm, his hand was warm and she felt a pang of heat in her chest, he winced, retreating his hand immediately.
“You’re coming along great.” She insisted. “Get some rest and you’ll get your medicine shortly.” She left the boy to sit in the room.
“Did you see it, doctor?”
“Yes. Continue testing and make a date for his procedure.” She instructed and he nodded. She was about to walk down the hall but she paused. “Oh, and move him up to the 4%.”
“Stupid earrings!” You kick the side of your vanity, instantly regretting it when a surge of pain went up to your leg.
The only pair of diamond earrings you owned were missing and you had 10 minutes to get to the subway or bus for the North Heights. Half of your hair was okay while the other side looked like a mangled up tumbleweed. You got the sleeve of your blouse caught in the bleach water for dishes so you had to change for the third time. This morning was starting off pretty rough.
Margaret never specified a time until 6 o’clock this morning. She said Mr. Kim has appointments all day after 9 so, ‘Be here by 7:30.’ You live a half-hour away, and that’s when the bus isn’t late or if you catch a taxi on a good day. It was currently 6:47 and you were vigorously passing a comb through your hair. At this point, it doesn’t even matter if you look like Synthia from the Rugrats, you had to get out of here. You grabbed a ponytail holder and tied it up, at least you had somewhat of a presentable style now. Your little skirt and top would have to work with a pair of flats because there is no way you’re running around this city in heels today.
“How is it 7 already!?” You glanced at the microwave clock and cursed it for mocking you. The yogurt you attempted to eat would have to wait until you come back. You threw your bag onto your shoulder and bolted out of the door.
You ran down the few flights of stairs, stopping in front of the complex and holding your cell phone in your hand to search the bus and subway schedule. “Off of Miller and Maine- Departed?!- That’s it, the world has it out for me.”
The subway was too far of a walk and the 7 o'clock bus just left, there is no way you’re gonna get there before 7:45. “Why...” You looked around, about to wave down a taxi when a man in a tapped your shoulder. “Taxi!-”
“Excuse me, Miss?”
“Yes?” You furrowed your brows, wondering what this older fellow might want that apparently can’t wait.
“Are you Y/f/n?” You noticed the gentlemen wore a black chauffeur hat and uniform.
“Yes, can I help you, sir?- Wait, how do you know my name?” You gave him a suspicious expression.
“I am your driver for this morning ma’am, Bernard Shelton. Mr. Kim sent a car for you. I knocked on your apartment door but you must not have heard me. He requested that I apologize on is behalf for the short notice.” You looked past him to see a black luxury vehicle with tents that might as well have been a black hole. “Are you ready to go?”
“Um,” You didn’t know if you could trust this guy, despite his convincing attire and professional mannerisms. “I’m sorry but how do I know Mr. Kim sent you? I mean, wouldn’t he have his secretary tell me this?”
“Would you like to contact Ms. Gough for verification? We’re already running late and Mr. Kim has appointments all day after 9 o’clock. We really must be going, ma’am.” You glanced at your watch, it was 7:09, this is your best bet.
“Alright...” With hopes that you weren’t getting kidnapped, you followed him in the car and sat anxiously in the backseat. Your fingers grazed the flawless interior, making you wonder why a car of this prowess came to pick you up. Upon request of the CEO at that.
“We’re here ma’am, with one minute to spare.” He smiled, stopping you in front of the huge skyscraper in the middle of the fine part of the city.
“Thank you.” You hopped out of the car and made your way inside. The lobby was far more beautiful than the one at your office. There were sparkling light fixtures, expensive paintings gracing to tall walls and you found your self-walking towards the front desk slower than you should have.
“Hello, I have an appointment with Mr. Kim at 7:30.”
The woman looked through her computer and she couldn’t hide the judgments glint in her eye when she looked at you. “Your name?”
“Y/n.”
She picked up the black corded phone. “Margeret, I have a Y/n here to see Mr. Kim, would you like me to send her up?” A few seconds went by and she nodded. “Alright, I'll send her up.” She put the phone back on the hook. “You can go ahead. Top floor, directly in front of you when you exit the elevator, his secretary is to the right of his office.”
“Thank you.” Quickly, you went to the elevator and took it straight up to the top floor. A light ‘ding’ noise and you were let out on the quiet floor, not a single soul making a sound on the pristine floor.
“Excuse me,” You walked up to the desk that said ‘Margeret Gough.’ “Ms. Gough?”
“You’re here.” She had a kind smile. “He’s waiting for you, he just got off of his first-morning call. One moment,” She pressed a red button on the phone hook, “you’re 7:30 is here sir, should I send her in now?” She was talking to Taehyung.
“Yes, you can send her in.”
Your courage started to falter when you heard his voice, now you were really, really nervous. But now is not the time to be timid—you have to hold your head high and walk in there with confidence.
“Okay, sir.” A beep signaled that he turned off the phone. “Go on ahead.” She gestured to the door, a kind simper beckoning you to go in. “No need to be nervous, Mr. Kim is in a very good mood this morning.” She giggled, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“Just breathe...” You mumbled, slowly pushing open one of the two tall double doors at the end of the hall.
Your eyes met him instantly as he stood in front of the window the covered the entire wall. The view was ridiculous.
His eyes widened upon your entrance. “Good morning.” He smiled a bit, one hand on a coffee mug while the other rested in his pocket. The dainty necklace with a tiny diamond on the end of it brought his attention to the v neck of your camel-colored blouse.
“Good morning, Mr. Kim.” You brought a had to the side of your neck briefly and that small movement prompted his eyes to find the soft indent of your collarbones.
He cleared his throat. “I apologize for this being so short notice, I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience for you.” By the time he walked over to the gesture that you sit, you had already made yourself comfortable in the small leather chair in front of his desk.
“Don’t worry about it. Thank you for sending the car, by the way, you really didn’t have to do that.” It was a kind gesture but you didn’t feel it was necessary.
“No, it was the least I could do. Last night, I remembered I had these meetings to do and I couldn’t help but want to do one with you since we talked last night.” He sipped his coffee. “So, I asked Margeret to contact you.” He swiveled his chair a bit. “I guess we should get right into it then, yeah?”
“What is it, exactly?”
“Just reviewing company regulations, how you think your locations management is, things like that...” He laid a sheet of paper with a bunch of questions and long black lines, right in front of you. “Would you fill that out? It’s like a survey, a business owner seminar suggested I get to know the business and this was one way to do it.”
“Alright...” You did what you had to do, writing simple answers to questions like, ‘how does your management treat you? Do you feel like an important part of the team?’ Important? Eh, sure, you thought, trying to compile meaningful sentences. After five minutes or so, you were on the very last question and before your pen touched the paper, you froze. “D-did you say something?”
The confusion on his face probably meant no. “No.”
“Oh, sorry, I thought I heard something...” You bashfully went back to the paper, quickly scribbling down an answer before setting the pen back in the pen holder. “I’m done.”
“Great. So, how did you feel about the survey? Margeret made the questions with her assistant, she said this would be a good way to see how the employees feel about the company. It wasn’t too boring I hope.”
“It was fine,” It was a generic survey.
“Let me ask you, do you feel like a valued employee?” The question was pretty simple, but you found yourself scrambling for a response that clearly expressed how you felt.
“Valued? Um...” This was going to sound pessimistic but oh well. “Well, if I quit today and someone gets hired to take my job tomorrow, does that change your profits in any way?” He assumed it was a rhetorical question. “No, I don’t think it does. So how important could I be to you? Sure, I think I’m valued but I see it this way, there’s a job that needs to be done and I’m just the person who does it, no one too special...” He had never heard such an unenthusiastic statement from an employee before, he always viewed his father's company as one big family but based on what you were saying, it wasn’t as family-oriented as he believed.
“I’m sorry, that sounds kind of negative, doesn’t it?” His silence made you realize that what you said was probably the last thing a boss wanted to hear. “I don’t hate my job, I just don’t see the point in fabricating anything, Mr. Kim. Your company is great and all, but for me, it’s just a job that helps support me...”
“Well,” Your eyes followed him as he walked to the cute little coffee maker to fill up his mug again, “is there anything I can do to make your job more enjoyable? I don’t want you to feel like you��re a machine in a factory, you are an important member of this company. I mean that.”
“Look,” You sighed, standing up from your chair to walk near the window, taking this opportunity to appreciate the cities beauty from a bird's eye view, “I chose to work for you because it’s a reputable company and your cameras are nice.” When you glanced at him, he saw your real smile for the first time, your teeth showing and everything. Sadly, you shielded it from his sight as he approached you. “If it’s worth anything, I think you’re doing a good job with this whole CEO thing, in my professional opinion at least.” You smiled, he deserved some type of praise for reaching out to his people like this.
“Thank you, that means a lot.” The urge to walk up to you and tangle his finger in the stray strand of hair in your ponytail but he resisted. “You know, because of you, we discontinued Model 0XHS-5D.”
He was standing beside you now. “Really?”
“Yes, and it has impacted sales positively. We cut off the manufacture and it shows in the stock market, all because of you Y/n.”
“Oh, that’s good, I’m glad I could be of some assistance...” When you sensed him trying to stand a bit too close for comfort, you walked back to your seat. The lack of sleep was kicking in because you found yourself leaning against the side of the chair with your forearm—and the coffee in his hand smelled like heaven. He followed you, taking his previous position in his chair.
“I like the idea of...I don’t know, talking to someone I already know, it’s refreshing.”
“With all due respect sir, you don’t really know me.” The coo in your voice wasn’t intentional but you were just being honest. “Sure, we talked at the party and last night, but other than that...We’re strangers.” You trailed off, not really sure how you were supposed to end that statement.
“Y/n.” He breathed, thinking he may as well just outright say it—it would happen eventually. “Would you join me for lunch? My lunch appointment canceled before you came, so I have a reservation that I don’t have to cancel if you join me.”
Lunch? That was the last thing you were expecting to hear this morning. His eyes seemed to latch onto you and refuse to let you go until you answered his question.
“L-lunch? I appreciate the offer but...” You swallowed, for a split second, you considered taking him up on the offer but you quickly dismissed the preposterous idea. I can’t do that, he’s my boss. “But I can’t, I have to get back to work, it’s already past 8 and I- I don’t think that’s the best idea given I kinda work for you...”
“Work’s not a problem, I gave all survey participants the day off anyway. A 12:30 lunch is more than appropriate for our relationship I think...” Eager, that’s what he probably looked like, but the desperation to get near you was hard to ignore. That same way you looked on the terrace at the party, you still looked that way and he couldn’t just disregard it.
You locked eyes with him—tempting, very much so, but no. Absolutely not.
“I’m sorry,” You stood to your feet and he followed suit, standing much taller than you, especially without your trusty high heels on. “but I can’t.”
Any hopes of a day accompanied by you came crashing down as you politely rejected him. The only person he wanted to dine with at that restaurant didn’t want anything to do with him. The way you nibbled on your bottom lip implied that you were starting to feel uncomfortable. He took a small step back, you were dying to get out of here and he was perplexed onto why.
A beep interrupted you, it was Margeret.
“Your 8:30 is here, should I send them in?”
He was quiet, still peering at you as if it would change your final answer. Sadly for him, it did nothing for his cause...
He pressed the button on the phone base. “Give me one moment.”
“Well, I guess I’ll be going now-” You tried to gather your purse and get out of dodge but he stopped you.
“No wait, take this.” He grabbed a business card and wrote a string of numbers and words on it. “This is my personal cell.” He handed it to you. “With this number, I’m Taehyung, not Mr. Kim. So, if you feel more comfortable going to lunch with him,” He smiled halfheartedly. “he’ll be there.”
“Alright...” You tucked it into your purse and bowed respectfully before turning your back to leave.
“Do you like jazz or classical music?”
You paused, you weren’t expecting such a question. “Um, I enjoy both. Why?”
There was an itch at the back of his neck and he satisfied the nuisance with the tip of his index finger. “I thought maybe that was why we ended up at that cafe last night, a common interest.”
“Yeah, maybe...” You mumbled, turning around to continue your path out the door.
Meeting with Taehyung wasn’t so bad after all, you scored a day off. You took it upon yourself to get a few things done and spend a little time with one of your only friends. He was being currently studying medicine, technology, science - things like that. He offered to come to your favorite cafe to study with you and a few minutes ago, his lab partner joined you two. The bug seemed to have gotten to them too...
The cafe had the news on in the background and they were playing the same news bit from last night which led Hoseok to strike up a conversation with the lab girl he’s always with.
“What do you think about the 1989 Project? Does your supervising physician ever talk about it? Especially since the media won’t shut up about it.” Hoseok, your good friend for a few years now met you at the cafe so you could catch up on your language studies.
“She’s mentioned it a few times but I try not to ask about it.” Wendy decided to join you two as well, she and Hoseok were going to school for the same thing so they often studied together.
“What do you think about it Y/n?” Hoseok looked to you. Given you were really into that whole medical and technology thing, you wondered why he had to ask.
“Um,” You took out one earbud, “I don’t know, it’s interesting I guess.” Assuming he was going to continue talking, you kept the earbud out.
“I used to think that the Zoe Hawn case was always so freaky, it’s one of the reasons I’m studying at the SRMA Facility, I want to be a part of something that’ll do some good. Crossbreeds, crosses, hybrids- Whatever they're called, I know for a fact that there are experiments still at the laboratory.”
Wendy crooked a brow. “How would you know that?”
“I’m an intern at the facility, I listen in on the scientists and doctors sometimes. There’s a floor that you have to have level five clearance to be on and I’ve peeked in a few times.” You remembered you had a medical and scientific savvy best friends who would never drop the conversation.
Wendy chimed in. “Yeah, I’ve never seen the patients in there, they say some of them look like everyday people, others -- not so much. I wonder if there are even patients in there, it might just be something else.”
“Interesting...” It had been some time since you left Taehyungs office and you rubbed the business card between your fingers, staring down at the numbers and restaurant name. “Pain Grillé...” You whispered the name to yourself, you had seen that place before, your co-workers often mentioned the fancy place—maybe going wouldn’t be so bad...
“What was that?” Wendy tilted her head, her honey blonde hair shifting on her shoulders.
“Oh, nothing...” Nothing you wanted to discuss with them.
Hoseok smirked. “What’s that in your hand? You’ve been staring at it every few minutes now, is it a love note from an admirer or something?” He teases, the blush on your cheeks and the knitting of your brows only made your reaction all the more amusing
“No, dummy.” You kicked his foot. “It’s not a love note. I was asked to lunch and the name of the restaurant is on this card.”
“So, why are you here?”
“Because I’m not going.” That card was dropped back into your purse, you regretted taking it out in the first place.
“Why not? Lunch at Pain Grille sounds great -- and expensive.” He wondered, what special person wanted to take you there?
“I just rather not, that’s all.” It’s time for a subject change, “I have to go, I’m dog walking all evening so...” You grabbed your notebook and put the rest of your things in your tote. “Bye guys.”
Mr. and Mrs. Lafonso asked you to walk and feed their Pomeranian while they’re out and that’s what you were doing. Dog walking on the side is way underrated, it was what you did when you first moved out here to earn some extra cash. It was sort of a depressing time in your life, you lived in a tiny hotel and worked in a diner until you could save enough to find your own place. Living on your own wasn’t easy at first—a young 18-year-old that was struggling to get by in the big city with a few hundred dollars or so and a heavy suitcase. You got offers from guys to be their sugar-babies and if you were honest, you considered it a few times, the check from your part-time jobs looked like chump change in comparison to the money those guys were offering you. You didn’t have much but you had dignity and morality, no amount of money could take that away. And that’s what kept you going, you knew you could to make it and you did, all by yourself.
“Ugh...” It was beginning to drizzle and you were about to walk down to get to the subway station but you stopped, Pain Grillé. Kim Taehyung could be seen through the window, sitting at the table alone as the swoon waiter brought him a glass of wine.
The grumble of your stomach indicated that it was a marvelous idea—darn your appetite. You turned around and strolled across the street to get to the restaurant, your actually about to do this. When you walked inside, the lump in your throat was stopping you from speaking to the hostess at the desk.
“Good afternoon ma’am, can I help you?” She was a sweet lady, beckoning you to come to her.
“Oh,” Clearing your throat, you smiled, “I’m meeting Kim Tae-”
“Oh, you’re her!” She sounded a bit flustered like she knew you were coming but forgot. “I’m so sorry ma’am, I’ll get you seated, right this way.” She grabbed a menu and urged you to follow.
Her?
“Mr. Kim said he was expecting a special guest, he told me to make sure I bring you over myself. I’m the owner, Audrey. He loves this place, comes here for all of his special lunch appointments.” Her jaw-length bob bounced as she walked you through the busy restaurant. When he looked up from his phone and saw you, one would think you two were pretty close because of his childishly wide smile. I knew she would come...
“Here you are! Your waiter will be over shortly. Enjoy!” With that, she was gone, and you both stood there.
“You came...” He beamed, still in awe that you took him up on his offer. You were about to speak as you reached to pull out your chair. “Yeah, I-”
“Wait, let me get that for you.” He rushed to the chair to pull it out for you.
“Thank you...” You shuffled the chair forward, now you were a few inches away from the pristine white tablecloth.
“No, thank you for joining me, for a moment there I thought you wouldn’t show up.” He took his wine glass, sipping it briefly. Unbeknownst to him, it was sheer coincidence that led you here.
“Oh? Well, here I am...” You scanned the menu slightly as you glanced up at him.
You don’t mind a little wine with your lunch, do you? They have wines that pair beautifully with every meal, I’ve tried the whole menu. I went with a Muscadet today, easy-drinking in my opinion.” He would have a knowledgeable understanding of wines, why wouldn’t he?
“I don’t mind, I enjoy a glass every so often.” Maybe a few times a month -- week.
The corner of his lips “So-”
“Good afternoon ma’am, can I get you started with something to drink?” The waiter asked and Taehyung glanced at him with an impatient glint, he was interrupting something.
“I’ll have a Mascoto please.” You thanked the waiter as he went off to get your sweet bubbly beverage. Day-drinking—I guess, when in Rome do as the Romans, you thought to yourself.
“Good choice.” He bit his lip, his tongue peeking out to run over his lips in a tantalizing way. Out of habit, he tapped his fingers on the table. “I admit that I’m probably coming on a bit strong, yeah?” You nodded. “I don’t mean to come after you, I genuinely just want to get to know you...”
He’s still on that. “Sir-”
“Taehyung...” He reminded you. “Call me Taehyung, please.” That smirk—God, why is he smirking at me like that?
“Taehyung,” You emphasized the call of his name, “I’m flattered but I’m no different from anybody else...” Thank goodness the waiter brought your wine to you, you needed it right about now. “I’m sure there are plenty of women who have extravagant lives they can tell you about over lunch, why me?” You scoffed bitterly. “It doesn’t add up to me-”
“I don’t want to know just any of those women, I want to know you.” He countered. “That whole ‘there’s nothing to know about me’ act, I just don’t believe it, everybody has a story.”
“I don’t.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you almost look believable when you lie?”
You choked mid-sip. “Excuse me?-”
“Are you two ready to order?”
He was starting to spite this waiter. “Uh, yes, I’ll have my usual, what about you, love?” He was looking at you.
Still taken aback by his statement, you ordered. “I’ll have the chicken marsala with a side salad, please.” He nodded, taking the menus away to leave you two alone. You glared at him. “Lie? What makes you think-” He cut you off.
“If you don’t mind me asking, are you close with your family?” That was a personal question that you weren’t expecting to have to answer today.
“You expect me to answer your questions after you called me a liar?” You scoffed. “I don’t think so...”
He sighed, not breaking eye contact in the slightest as he sipped his wine. “Is there anyone, anyone at all, a mother, sister, friend, anyone you’re really close with? Anyone you can share your heart with, talk about difficult things with. You seem like the loner type...”
“It doesn’t matter.” You quipped rather defensively. “I don’t really need anyone to talk to, I’m doing fine on my own. As far as my family goes, well, I’m not a representation of my family, I’m just me...”
“So you’re not close to your parents?” He tilted his head curiously. You gazed down at your silver fork, solemnly—you never talk about stuff like this.
“No...” You uttered lowly, not liking where he was going with the invasive questions. “They died when I was a newborn, I was adopted by my uncles family...”
“Oh...” He felt bad for asking now. “I’m sorry to hear that,” You flinched, he cupped the top of your hand with his own large one, a softness in his eyes, “I’m sure growing up was hard for you, yeah?...”
“I mean, you could say that...” Oddly, you let him keep his hand on your own but it didn’t last long. “Can we drop this subject, please? I really don’t like talking about it.” You slid your hand back, an awkward grin showing your discomfort.
“Of course, sorry,” He sounded flustered, “I didn’t mean to pry.” The waiter had come back and sat the food in front of you two, you both thanked him. It smelled divine and Taehyung had already dug into his meal. You stabbed the nicely sliced tomato, sticking it in your mouth slowly as you eyed him intently.
“Y’know...” He began.
You forgot that people actually talk to one another when they go out to eat, it’s been so long it seemed weird. You were just about ready to tape his mouth shut because of all of these questions weren’t allowing you to eat. The chicken on your fork would have to wait. “What?”
“I know this may be a little awkward since I’m your boss and all, but we’re both adults.” Awkward? That was an oversimplification.
He lowered his voice. “This morning, when you said you heard something,” He bit his lip, “I whispered something to myself...I said it so low, I could barely hear myself say it, but you did.” His gaze focused on you intensely. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it, how could you have heard something that was as quiet as a thought?”
Fear. A blanket of utter terror wrapped around you as you struggled to gulp the lump in your throat. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You choked, hands beginning to tremble when you pushed them in your lap.
“Are you sure? Because I think you do.” He was starting to rub you the wrong way.
You are eating lunch in a restaurant with a man that you work for and he sees no problem with it. Not only that, but you saw a few employees from the Heights office and they wouldn’t stop staring and whispering when they saw you. Free lunch at the expense of your antisocial way of life. Those workers knew your face now, what if this went bad? It would look bad on a new boss was seen with a lower level employee like you, what would they think? This is why you didn’t want to do this, this was a bad idea. Thoughts raced through your mind but the only one that you could grasp was the thought of him knowing—you wanted to throw up.
“Are you okay? Your face is flushed.” His eyes widened in concern.
“I- I’m fine, it’s just a little hot in here.” You fanned yourself lightly, reaching for the glass of wine and finishing it off but still feeling parched. Suddenly, a dull ache throbbed in your temples and your brows furrowed in discomfort.
“Excuse me,” he stopped a waiter, “can you bring me a glass of water please?”
“No, no, thank you for everything but I really have to go.” You were pushing yourself away from the table and in a matter of seconds, you were making your way through the restaurant and flying out the door. When you walked out of that place you felt like you could breathe. The gears were turning in your head, anxiety began to eat away at your bones and you couldn’t contain it anymore. Panting, you stood in the busy street, trying to gather yourself. You shook your head, your ears aching as if someone had set a firework off right next to you. Eager to get home, you got on the subway and held on to the safety bar. You felt hot, it as if everything was burning inside you. It scared you to death, people would try to get close, ask too many questions—
it made you sick to your stomach.
Home, that was your goal. When you got off the subway, you made your dog walking stops. Starting from the farthest apartment complex to your own. A pit bull, two chihuahua’s and a brown lab, it took about 2 hours. The Lafonso’s canceled last minute so you were thankful because nature decided that you deserved to suffer this evening. The rain was relentless. It was pouring down, your clothes were drenched, sticking to you in the worst way as you walked down the street, desperate to get home. No one offered to walk you under their umbrella, not that you would accept the offer anyway. A nice hot shower was all you wanted.
“Huh...” You sigh, dragging your soaked frame up the stairs. You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. You dug into your pocket to take out you’re house key. “Where is that thing?-...”
Notice from the city — Sorry we missed you!
We missed you! You were not available when we came to introduce the new monthly policy. The SRMA monthly routine check on all citizens born between 1992 - 1998 who may have failed to submit their medical records or whose records may need verifying. Do not be alarmed, as a government, we want to ensure the health and safety of our people through all necessary methods. If you have any questions, contact us at 747-”
B.S.—You rip the bright orange paper off the door, crumbling it up into a ball, and throw it in the trash bin as you entered your home. It’s disgusting. The government has their sneaky ways of getting what they want, one way or another. Just as you do every night, you flipped the light switch to get some light in your dark little living room. You flicked it twice but there was no light—just your luck. The light bulbs are out. You toss your purse on the couch to go search for some extra light bulbs.
For some reason the light bulbs refused to be found, you checked under the kitchen sink, then the supply closet—I know I bought some.
“There we go.” On the very top shelf, the new pack of bulbs sat in the far corner. You had no clue why you put it there but you reached up on your tippy-toes and grabbed the pack.
Sighing, you untwisted the dead bulb from under lampshade and sat it on the coffee table. As you were about to screw in the new bulb, suddenly, you heard low footsteps in the hall and you tensed as the unknown person passed your door.
You absentmindedly screwed in the bulb. “Who in the- Agh!” A sharp burst of glass and light happened in your hands and scared the life out of you. The light bulb previously in your hand now exploded, the shards of glass missing your finger so by less than an inch.
You rush to your kitchen to get a broom and dustpan. “Cheap bulbs, what can you expect...” You cleared your throat, shuffling over to clean up the mess. When you glanced at your buzzing cellphone, you had easily predicted who it was on the other end. You picked it up and held it between your shoulder and ear. “Hi, Hoseok.”
“Hey, I was just calling to check on you. I saw you weren’t answering your texts so I got worried.”
Always so concerned for you, you were lucky to have at least one friend like him.
“Oh, I was really busy today, I didn’t even see your texts. Sorry about that.” You walked into the kitchen as Hoseok explained that he was just making sure you got home safely. He was also pretty curious about who went to lunch with today, you wouldn’t say. “Don’t worry about it Hoseok, it was just lunch and it’s not happening again. Now, I wish I didn’t have to run but I got caught in the rain and I need a shower-”
Footsteps. You heard footsteps in the hall again, and this time, they stopped right in front of your door.
“Y/n?”
“Wait one second...” You whispered, trying to stealthily tiptoe to the door but there was a knock. This time, you were sure it was probably Jan, it had to be...
“Hello?”
No, that’s a man's voice.
“Anyone home?”
Just as you were about to peek through the peep-hole, a paper began to slip through the crack of the door and fall to the floor in front of you. The person had quickly walked away after that and you bent down to inspect the paper.
“Y/n, is everything okay?”
You forgot Hoseok was still on the phone.
“Yeah...I’m good. Hey, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay, goodnight.”
“Night...” You hung up the phone, staring down at the paper.
You have failed to submit your birth records to the SRMA for the 4th year in a row. 5 years with unsubmitted records is considered a felony as of 2 months ago. You have one year to submit your records before you are put under high suspicion of the state. At the bottom of the paper, a printed signature was signed. Ordered by Senator Nelson Green.
“Ugh, not again...” You were about to crumble up the paper, but you paused. You don’t even know if your birth certificate is legitimate. You were adopted and for all you knew, your parents had altered the thing, it’s unlikely, but it’s still a possibility. You had never turned them in for the mere fact that it wasn’t against the law, it was just a strong and annoying suggestion. Until now.
“I’ve never met anyone like her before and I don’t want to let her slip through my fingers...” He was at his penthouse and his best friend, Jimin, was day house-sitting for him. Taehyung sat on the couch with his matching pajama set on and pillow snug in his grasp as the television served to fill in the silence gap.
“She must be gorgeous for you to be this messed up about her.” Jimin sat on the recliner with a bowl of ramen.
“I went to lunch with her today.”
“Oh? So you’ve already gone on a date?”
“Not exactly, my lunch appointment canceled so I asked her if she wanted to join me. She came but I really don’t think she wanted to be there. It may have to do with the fact that I’m kind of her boss...”
“She works for you?!” Jimin couldn’t hide his shock.
Taehyung sighs. “Don’t sound so surprised, she works in the customer service department downtown.”
“Woah, what does your dad think about you getting involved with an employee?”
“Who said anything about getting involved? I don’t think she likes me all that much, she’s kind of a closed book, doesn’t like to talk much. I just asked her to lunch, nothing more nothing less.” He knew it was far much more than that.
“But you want this to turn into something more, don’t you?” Jimin knew the answer. And so did Taehyung. But the thought of verbalizing his want for you made it less real, less tangible.
“Yes- No, I don’t know, I just want to get to know her, that’s all.” Taehyung laid on the arm of the couch, lost in his thoughts. There was no denying that you were hiding something from him, he knew that for a fact. But getting you to open up and be comfortable with him seemed to be the hardest part of all. Why was he so drawn to you? And why did you hide that you felt the same?
A few days later.
It’s a few days since your meeting with Taehyung and you were back to your normal life. Unfortunately, the news that you had gone out with the CEO for lunch was the subject of conversation for the cubicles not too far from you. None of them have dared to ask you about it, for reason that you weren’t quite sure of. You just knew that the only way you were going to get those girls to stop gossiping was to ignore them completely.
You had quite a few calls this morning, no more than usual on a busy day but they came in back to back. Most of them were calling in regards to the new camera that just came out. Some were complaints, others were genuinely curious questions. Your supervisor came out of his office and you watched him survey the room until his eyes landed on you.
“Y/n, come to my office please.” He walks back to his office, urging you to follow.
You swallowed, putting the phone back on the hook and walking to his office. Honestly, you couldn’t imagine what he wanted.
“Yes?”
“You’ve been doing a great job, so don’t think I called you in here because you’re in trouble.” Those words soothed your weary expression. “I was asked by Mr. Kim, to give you this envelope this morning.” He reached into his desk to pull out a white envelope. “Here you go.”
“Oh, thank you.” You took the envelope and walked back to your cubicle. In the solitude of your little space, you opened up the envelope.
__,
You’re probably wondering why I didn’t just call or text you. I wanted to know if you could meet me at the club we talked at the other night, I have something really important to talk to you about, please come.
Love, Kim Taehyung.
“Huh...”
“What’s that?” Your coworker in the cubicle across from you noticed the envelope in your hands.
“Oh, nothing, just some notice from HQ or something...” You opened up your desk and shoved it in your drawer. She didn’t look too convinced but she left the subject alone for the most part.
You laid on your bed, pen in your hand, notebook in your lap, and earbuds snug in your ears. Excessive studying had begun to bore you. You decided to set the book down and scroll through your phone absentmindedly.
I had a great time Suzette
You froze, eyes widening in suspicion. You sat up, seeing if someone had opened your room door or something. Where did that come from? It sounded oddly like her uncle's voice.
The kids are home, my mom and niece are taking care of them, but my wife doesn’t get off until 7 today
You were sure that was him now. You weren’t sure where it was coming from especially since you had your music on full blast. But when you took the earphones, you could hear the conversation amplified. Quietly, you sneaked up to your window on your hands and knees, pushing hair away from your face. To your distaste, you saw your uncle, leaning into the window of some woman's car—for your aunt's sake, you hoped that woman was just a friend.
I’ll see you on Friday, bring your swimsuit
He kissed her cheek—ok so they’re definitely more than friends. To ensure that he didn’t see you, you scurried away from the window and ran downstairs to help your grandma with dinner. After you washed up, you began to cut the vegetables for the salad as Daisy, the toddler of the bunch, played in the living room with her older brother.
“Hey guys, I’m home.”
The little kids, all 4 of them ran up to greet their dad, you merely waved. Little did they know, their daddy wasn’t the superhero of a man he portrayed himself to be.
“Food smells good mom.” He walked into the kitchen to search the fridge for something to drink as he always did.
“Thanks, son, it’s your favorite, stewed chicken and rice.” She smiled as he pecked her cheek. Now it was time to greet the only teenager in the house.
“How was school, __?”
“It was school, nothing special.” You mumbled, cutting the tomato with one of your earbuds still in.
“Oh, well, just so you all know, I have to go out of town on-”
“Friday?” You suddenly blurted out, earning you an odd look from him.
“Yeah, how did you know?” He furrowed his brow in suspicion.
Save yourself Y/n. “Um, just a guess.” He looked like he thought nothing of it and went back to the conversation. It took everything in you not to say what you saw, what you heard. It burned at the tip of your tongue.
After dinner.
You stood in front of the sink, washing dishes like you always did after dinner. Even though you all had a dishwasher, grandma always insisted that you wash them by hand. It was annoying but you did it.
“Hey, your aunt wanted to know if you’ll take Josie to elementary school tomorrow, she’s gotta go in early.” Uncle walked into the kitchen, a bowl of cereal in hand.
“Sure, I guess I’ll skip class.” You muttered, a hint of sarcasm in your voice.
“Well, you shouldn’t skip class-”
“It’s not a big deal, I was gonna skip anyway.” You cut him off. You two had always had this tense relationship. He would say something, you’d saying something back, he’d get offended, the usual argument followed suit. You remember his rage when he saw you got a nose piercing, it was fake and so you felt no need not to wear it. It’s your nose after all.
“Oh.” He stood there for a little while, reading over some bills and such.
“So, you’re going out of town...” You thought you’d be the one to bring it up.
“Yep.”
“Somewhere sunny, I’m guessing?”
You furrowed his brows, wondering why you’d say that. “Um, sure, I guess.”
“Why don’t you bring your wife with you? She hasn’t had a vacation in a while.”
“Because it’s work.”
“Or is it because Suzette will be there?” You had stopped washing dishes now.
“Suzette?” His brows knitted further. “How do you know Suzette? I’ve never mentioned her before.” Now he was suspicious.
You sighed, biting your lip anxiously. “You’re making a mistake, ok. You have a wife and kids, your family is worth more than some lady.”
“__, are you hearing yourself? Suzette is a co-worker and we happen to work in the same city this weekend.”
“And you guys plan to do some fucking swimming while you’re there?” You spat, raising your voice a bit through clenched teeth. “Yeah, that sounds like tiresome, boring work.”
He tensed—there is no way you should have heard him, that wasn’t possible
“You need to think before you speak __, you could get yourself in a lot of trouble. How the hell did you even hear that? Did you wire my bag or something? Where are you getting all of this?-”
“Look, I know what I heard.” You stormed away, trying to get away from him but he grabbed your wrist. “What.” You hissed.
“What are you up to, little girl? Do you think this is funny or something? You storm around me like some ungrateful bitch and I put up with it since the day you got here. I won’t be disrespected in my own home.”
“Let go of my arm.” You tried to pull away but he was relentless.
He gripped you harder. “I’m only gonna say this once, stay out of my business __, I mean it.”
The threat only made you spite him more. You felt anger and fear begin to bubble in your chest as he eyed you like a hawk. How dare he even insinuate that you were ridiculous when you saw with your own eyes what he was doing. You stared at him with a blank expression, your knuckles turning white as you clenched your fists impossibly tight. “L-let go.”
“Did you hear what I just-” He paused. A white heat began to incase his entire body, his hands trembled as a high-pitched ringing started to torture his senses, he stepped back. “What the hell?”
You got away and ran upstairs.
“__! I’m not done talking to you young lady-”
“Leave me alone!”
You gritted your teeth, trying to conceal your voice. You closed your door, locking it and jumping to lay on your bed. It was hard not to hate his guts sometimes, he was so annoying sometimes. You wondered what your real dad would have been like...
You heard a knock on the door but you willed yourself to ignore the sounds.
The door creaked as he opened it. “Hi, can I help you?”
“Hello there, I know it’s late but my name is agent Susan Black, I’m with the Scientific Research and Medical Advancements recovery efforts. I’m here to get records for the people living in your home for safety, it’s protocol. We’ve been made aware that you’ve been avoiding our calls and emails for you to turn in all the residents of this home's birth records.” She smiled, he knew this would catch up with him. “You’re making us really suspicious Mr. Kang.”
He scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully. “I’ll make sure that happens in the next week, but now isn’t the best time.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do it now sir, just before the end of the year. Goodnight sir- Oh, and don't forget, it’s for the safety of society.”
“Dr. Kim, what do you think about The 1989 Project, I know you used to work here back then?”
One of the resident doctors stopped by Dr. Kim’s office to hand off some papers. “I know a lot of the rumors are true, and that even you worked with Zoe Akasma Hawn to get her back to health.”
The older man sighed, thinking of the horrible state of that girl. “I don’t have a lot to say about it.”
“Oh, come on Doctor, I know you must think something of it.” He pried.
“I just hope the surviving participants get the help that they need, that’s all.” His answer is wholesome, not one you can really argue.
“You can’t possibly think that those experiments have a chance of molding into society, do you?”
“You never know.” That’s all he had to say before resuming his papers. His phone rang suddenly.
“Hello?”
“Hey dad, I can’t come by this evening, I have a thing.” Taehyung never missed coming to see his dad, so whatever it was, it must be important. “Sorry.”
“This thing must be important, huh?” He smiled through the phone.
“Yeah, I’ll see you. Love you, dad.”
“I love you too, son.”
Taehyung tucked his phone into his pocket and got out of the car, hoping he wouldn’t be waiting here all night. It was sunset, he entered the club and found a seat near the band and waited, anxiously. The tingling in his chest reminded him how nervous he was, what if you decided not to show up? That wouldn’t be a surprise given the feelings you have towards him—if you could call those feelings. When you ran out of the restaurant the other day, he had never felt so out of place in his life. He did put you on the spot when he asked about your family and you did not react well. But in his defense, he didn’t know it was a touchy subject.
“Can I get you anything?” A young waitress, who looked rather swoon by his appearance walked up to him.
“Not now, I’m waiting for someone.” Her expression saddened when she connected the dots. He wasn’t alone this evening and she could forget about hitting it big with a guy like him.
Thirty minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into an hour and a half. He had finally settled for ordering tea and leaving, but then you were walking in through the front door—you were wearing a black t-shirt, sneakers, and jeans. Your hair laid close on your shoulders as your eyes scanned the room for him. Before he could beckon you over, your eyes found him and you were walking towards him. With a breathless huff, you sat in the chair across from him, the air around you immediately took effect on him. His chest started to tingle but he managed to push the excitement down.
“So,” You exhaled, “what’s so important?” Your voice was soft, low, kind despite its cutting edges in tone.
“I...” He scrambled for his reasoning for calling you. “I called the office for you yesterday, but they said you weren’t there.”
“I had a few things I had to take care of, is that why you called me here?...” If that was the reason, you were sure he was taking this interest in you too far. “To see why I wasn’t at work? I asked my manager if it was ok-”
“No, that’s not why. I-...” He tapped absentmindedly on his ceramic cup, attempting to compile a coherent sentence. “Um...”
“Taehyung,” You cut him off, your patience running thin. “I really don’t have all night, I walked here from the subway station 15 minutes from here and I need to get back home...”
“The government contacted the company. They’ve been looking to see if any of my employees are affiliated with Jane Sato or know anything about The 1989 Project. I’ve heard that you’re one of the few people that haven’t been officially cleared by the SRMA recently.” He cleared his throat. “Do you know anything about it?”
“No, not a thing...” You deadpanned, eyes going between your hands and the live band in the background. You were starting to get that feeling again, the same feeling you felt the night you saw him, the icy burn at the tip of your fingers, and the pit of your stomach.
“And honestly, I don’t believe in that stuff. The whole Zoe Hawn case seemed like the government had too much to do with it. Put a feral looking failed experiment on the TV and everyone wants to get tested, it’s a hoax. Those hybrids, experiments- Whatever they're called, they have nothing to do with me. I don’t want to have anything to do with them either.”
He reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “So, does this not look familiar to you?” You reached for it, fingers grazing it lightly before you gradually opened it up. A photo—a photo of a bunch of doctors and scientists, you weren’t sure. Your eyes scanned the individuals in the picture and you frowned.
Your gaze turned cold. “Where did you get this...”
“These are the doctors and scientist involved in the 1989 project, I got it from a physician I know. He thought I should show it to some of my employees. Do any of them look familiar?” He tilted his head, doe eyes too round and distracting for you at the moment.
You gulped. “No.”
He moved to grasp the photo. “I just thought you might’ve-...”
“I don’t know who any of those people are.”
A spark ignited from the tip of your fingers.
When your hands touched, it was as if a white light engulfed his vision and an achingly loud thump reverberated in your ears, you yanked your hand away instantly. There was no denying that you felt something and you didn’t like it. He stared up at you, lips parted in shock as you mirrored his expression but in a rigid manner. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip, probably drawing blood, and for the second time around him, your anxiety decided to devour you from the inside out.
“I-...I’m leaving.” You abruptly pushed away from the table and stormed out of the club, photo in hand.
“Hey! Wait!” He ran behind you, trying not to lose you since you were already halfway down the sidewalk. You retained a steady pace of running but you could tell he was hot on your trail, you could run down to the subway and try to lose him there but you hated getting on the subway at this hour.
You swiftly shoved the photo in your pocket and bolted down the alleyway. For a moment, you paused so you could catch your breath, leaning back against the rough brick walls and letting your eyelids flutter closed. Why is this happening to me and why now? You managed to calm yourself from the constant pound of your heartbeat. When you heard panting, you slowly opened your eyes.
He caged you, his eyes boring into your soul.
Your eyes widened, jumping back to run away but he seized your wrists. “Leave me alone!”
“Why did you run?!” He seethed, trying to stay calm. “Calm down, shh!” The words leaving his throat like a suppressed cough. You pushed at his chest, trying not to look him in the eye. “Stop trying to run away! Listen to me, please.” It was a firm plea, one you had never heard from anyone before. “If you’d just let me explain-”
You weren’t having it.
“Why won’t you just leave me alone?!” You jerked away, getting away from the wall so you could make a run for it but you felt a sharp pain in your head. You hunched over, clutching your forehead in your hands. “Ah...” You winced, your breathing unsteady and your stance shaky. The throbbing had increased and your vision was beginning to get blurry.
Taehyung reached out to you, his hand gripping your arms. “Y/n, stop fighting it...”
“Get the hell away from me!-“ You were pulling away, hitting, clawing at his arms and everything to get him to let you go. Despite your resistance, he wrapped his arms around you, his body being so close had made your pulse skyrocket. This was too much, it physically, emotionally, mentally, pained you the more you tried to getaway.
“Please, don’t fight me-” He tried to speak calmly but it was hard when you insisted on thrashing about. “S-stop fighting me, I’m not gonna hurt you, you can trust me,” His heart sank when he saw that look in your eyes, the look of an innocent creature in pain—you were scared. “We’re the same.”
“N-no, leave me alone,” Your stance wavered and you fell silent, tears building at your eyes. You were on the verge of sobbing. “Just leave me alone, I can’t be around you...”
There was so much energy emanating around you, through your bones. You could feel everything—you could hear everything. The buzz of street lights, bickering old couples on the top floor of this old apartment, honking horns of impatient drivers, a sobbing teen curled up on a cold tile floor. It was as if all living things were coursing through you—a razor-sharp current of light and darkness stabbing you from the inside out.
The sound of something cracking, the sound so unbearably familiar that he found it difficult to physically control himself.
“Y/n, don’t fight it...it’s okay...” His hands clung to your lower back and the back of your neck, keeping you anchored against him, your hands still pushing him away. His lips parted, a shaky breath leaving his mouth when you tensed.
“I know...I feel it too.”
Absolute darkness, dull obscurations ravaged your sight and you fell limp—you blacked out.
#bts au#bts mutant au#bts hybrid au#bts angst#bts fluff#bts smut#bts scenarios#taehyung fluff#taehyung angst#Taehyung smut#taehyung hybrid#taehyung mutation#taehyung mutant au#bts#color me moonight#id love to hear your feedback! it means the world to me :)#goodnight 🌙🌙#bts scifi au
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I Love My Mother's Killer
Photo by: E. W. Shannon (c) 2020
I Love My Mother's Killer
by
E.W. Shannon
At three a.m. on a Sunday morning, through a glass door, I saw mother take her last breath. The ICU doctor warned it wouldn't be a long drawn out process, but I think even the nurse and the respiratory therapist were a bit surprised at how quickly she stopped. Stopped being alive. Stopped being Mabel Harper. Stopped being Mom and Grandma. I was a little shocked at how fast she went from being my mother to being 'the body,' almost as if I could see the tether between her and the ethereal part of the universe sever in front of me.
I stood outside, in my hospital booties, gown, gloves, hair cover, mask, and face shield while they removed her breathing tube. Her nurse, Vanessa, looked up at me when she realized how quick death had come. She came out of the room, took a deep breath, and gave me the news. "I'm sorry Mr. Harper, she's already gone." She paused to let me process and perhaps breakdown. When it became obvious, I wasn't going to go into hysterics, she continued. "Just let the respiratory therapist come out and then you can go in."
"No, that's okay." I started taking off the protective gear and felt guilty at having wasted it just to stand in a hallway. Talking to strangers has never been a strength of mine and the circumstance of my mother's death, or I guess any death, made it even worse. All the autistic tics and traits I had worked so hard on to lessen or get rid of came back like somebody poured them over me from a bucket. The stutter, the inability to look someone in the face, the sweating, all descended upon me at once. "I-I-I-Is there a-a-a-anything else y-y-y-you need from me?"
Vanessa placed a hand on my arm. Even through my shirt and the gown and her glove, I could still feel her warmth. "You want to sit down?"
"N-n-n-n-no, I-I-I-I'll b-b-be okay. I just need to go d-d-d-d-do a b-b-breathing exerc-c-c-c-ise." On top of all the sweating and stuttering I had unconsciously begun crying and hadn't even realized it.
"Okay. Um, no, there's nothing else we need right now from you. We'll call the mortuary and they'll be in contact with you." She half looked at me with pity and half with awe. For months now her world had been a constant dialogue about COVID; for over a week she had seen me as a competent sane man, and now a certified medical freak stood in front of her coming apart at the seams. Having an evolving medical curiosity in front of her must have been a nice change of pace from the pandemic.
"Thank you for e-e-everything."
"No problem. Sorry for your loss." She patted my arm again and I felt her shift internally. Her voice changed into a hospital administrator to catch my attention. "Make sure you leave the face mask on until you leave the building and use hand sanitizer as you exit this unit, as well as when you exit the building downstairs.
"Thank you."
She went back into my mother's room and pulled a curtain across the glass door.
I don't remember leaving the unit, how I got downstairs and exited, how I found my car in the parking garage, or if I ever used any hand sanitizer. I just remember sobbing with my head leaned against the steering wheel, my tears snaking their way through the Chevy emblem before falling into my lap. Eventually I started the car and headed home. At first, I tried to craft what I would say to my daughters, Lily and Layla, but found I could either drive or work on a speech for my girls, but not both. So, I just drove and let my subconscious wander and it wasn't long before it took me back to that innocent day less than a month ago.
It's so stupid really. As a family we had been so careful to self-isolate as a group; it felt like Swiss Family Robinson, but with Wi-Fi. A drive-by birthday party for a seven-year-old is what started the death knell for mother. A boy named Asher, a friend of Lily's, stood in the driveway as, one by one, friends (and their obliging parents) stopped and sang Happy Birthday, hooked a gift bag onto a six foot metal pole usually used for skimming a pool, and then waited for the little boy to yell out "Thank you!" showing off all the open spaces in his mouth where teeth had fallen out as he grinned like an idiot.
The thought of giving Lily a list of rules never occurred to anyone. Her ten-year-old sister held only a tentative grasp on the word 'pandemic.' To Layla it meant the bully she'd acquired at the beginning of the year was now null and void, she could go to class in questionable states of dress at the dining room table, she was no longer the weird kid who ate hummus and sprouts sandwiches alone in the cafeteria, and, most importantly to her, she got to sleep in for an extra hour.
Lily, however, was quite different. Every teacher's report we'd gotten on her included the phrase "social butterfly" or some variation of "very verbal." In every group picture from school, Lily grabbed the focus by placing herself dead center, usually with half the students looking at her rather than the camera. Since birth she had always been everybody’s friend and greeted everyone with a hug. I always imagine her studying Layla and seeing how heavy and dour she was and deciding to be the complete opposite.
So, there we were on a warm day in May, I drove, my wife, Joy, sat up front with me, and my mother sat between Layla and Lily in the back seat. I don't know why I put the car in park that day as we sang and put our bag on the pole. Remembering the 'clunk' of the doors unlocking sometimes wakes me up at night. I can vividly remember the bright green bow falling off the bag and how fast Lily had been at getting out of her booster seat and out of the car. Before my wife or I could comprehend what was happening, she had picked up the bow off the asphalt, playfully stuck it to Asher's forehead, and hugged him. No mask, no gloves, no ridiculous two-foot wide piece of plexiglass like at the grocery store, just two children doing what you want children to do, being caring, thoughtful, kind, unreserved, and picking up their litter.
I wouldn't say our family has any real germaphobes, but we did exercise a bit of caution as the tallies of deaths and infections continued their upward trajectory on the news. Joy and I had surrendered to the idea of life with COVID rather than life after COVID. My wife still went to the grocery store with the girls in tow. My mother made them each twenty masks with different patterns, each girl getting their name embroidered in one of the corners, so instead of telling them they 'had' to wear a mask we just had to say, "Go pick out a special mask to go with your outfit." Of course, they weren't wearing masks that day, as we weren't supposed to be near anyone.
When Lily got back into the car and buckled herself into her booster seat, a noticeable silence that accompanied her. Joy broke the hush. "Here Lily, put some hand sanitizer on." She then covered Lily's little hands with ten pumps of hand gel from a Costco-sized container.
I looked back at Lily's glistening dripping hands and whispered in my wife's ear, "Unless you're going to pump it down her nose and throat, the damage is done."
She turned back around in her seat, put a single pump of hand gel on her own hands and took a deep breath as she nervously rubbed it in. "Yeah, you're right. I mean, what are the odds?" She shrugged her shoulders and gave me an unconvincing smile.
The next day Joy sent an email to Asher's mother to ask, with the utmost of political correctness, if their family might be harboring a deadly contagion. The reply came back quick assuring us that we had nothing to worry about and asking if we might be harboring a deadly contagion. "Remember when these emails were about kids biting and organizing bake sales," I asked her after reading the reply.
The day after that I caught my wife typing in 'how many days for covid symptoms after possible infection.' Before she could press 'enter' I answered her, "Two to fourteen days." She pressed 'enter' anyway and then let out a sigh with her head resting in her hands. "Told ya so."
"It might have updated since you looked." Her tense reply made me get up and massage her shoulders.
"It'll be okay. None of us are sick. Mom's been fine since she moved in after her hip surgery. Worst case, we get sick and we get over it." I tried my best to fill the statement with confidence, but the tiny bit of doubt I let slip by was all she heard. I looked across the foyer and saw Lily in my mother's room, sitting in her lap having a story read to her, and hoped I was right.
Two more days went by and then Joy woke up with flu-like symptoms, achy, fever, a slight cough, but nothing too alarming. The next day Layla woke with similar symptoms, but not as extreme. We tried to go through a drive-up testing site, but once my wife saw the line, she gave the order to turn back. "It's like Schrödinger’s cat, let’s just hope we only have to open two boxes," she said. They each had symptoms for three days and then they cleared. My wife attributed their miraculous recovery to the vegan diet she had put the family on the previous year. I gave more credit to luck.
Day twelve I woke to the sound of a duck on fire quacking from downstairs, at least that's what it sounded like to me. I found my mother in her chair coughing and felt her hot clammy head. "Get dressed Mom, we're going to the hospital." She didn't answer, just shook her head, and shuffled over to her closet. A few hours later she became a patient in the special COVID ward of our local hospital.
A few days later I got a call from Vanessa, just starting the night shift, telling me they had transferred my mother to the ICU and asking if she had a living will. While having a living will makes you feel prepared for death, when somebody outside your family asks to see it, it's the most ominous feeling ever.
Two lights away from the entrance to our neighborhood, in the small hours of the morning with a few of my mother's effects in a hospital bag on the floorboard, I pulled the car over into a 7-Eleven parking lot and vomited all over a Japanese Boxwood. It wasn't a virus causing me to hurl, but a thought, a window into the future. Someday Lily will look back on this, maybe she'll come across one of those masks with my mother's embroidery on it, maybe she'll just remember waking up to the horrible news, but at some point she might make the connection to the bow on Asher's head and her grandmother dying.
#ewshannon#covid stories#covid-19#writing#original writing#writers on tumblr#artists on tumblr#original photography on tumblr#photographers on tumblr#lgbtq writers
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So, I have a plotbunny where what happens to the MC functionally = partial(?) Solitary Confinement, but it's a little odd so I'd like your thoughts to see if I'm on a realistic track? MC (16yo girl) voluntarily agrees to "give her life" to a supernatural being to save her mother. However, classic Fairy Logic applies - she THINKS she'll die or disappear, but it's actually "you must devotedly guard this isolated magical place". What this amounts to is a situation I'll detail in more Asks...?(1/7)
2/7) So, MC thinks then that she'll be obligated to do this forever/rest of her life, in order to save/protect her mother. She's compassionate/strongly attached to her loved ones, so keeping BOTH her parents from suffering from what would happen to Mom is "worth it" to her (note: effectively there is also another "her" who is their kid. The parents don't realize a "version" of her is doing this, so they're blissfully ignorant too). This gives her a Purpose automatically, but it definitely (...)(3/7) changes what she thought she was resigned to. The (humanoid) entity she's serving does spend time with her each day, including gentle touch, and leaves its familiars (two very friendly big cats) with her always, but it does leave her by herself for long periods (hours at a time), and she is forbidden from leaving without permission and even when one of her friends winds up finding the place, she's not allowed to admit to them it's really her/have proper contact with them. However (...)(4/7) Shortly after that, she is told that it was never intended to be permanent - it was for "a year and a day" - a test, which she's just passed. So, she is abruptly told she can/should "go home", when she thought she would be there indefinitely. She winds up with a version of her family who have lost their version of her. They know she's an alt-universe version, but to them, she's so similar to their kid, and anyway, "biologically her twin", that they feel emotionally attached to her (...)(5/7) + they empathize with/feel responsible for her, especially as she's still so young + they're horrified to learn she was apparently "alone" (or at least without her loved ones/normal contact) for so long. They immediately accept her as their kid, and she can't help but see them as the "same" people, so she's drawn to the idea of being adopted/with them but, obviously the whole thing is kind of traumatic and weird for her - and this is what I'm wanting to run by you? So far, I have her (...)(6/7) struggling to adjust to the sudden shift in routines (they try to send her back to normal school, which feels "noisy" and "chaotic" to her; she puts up with it b/c she "has to", but winds up "spacey and distracted" [dissociating] during some of her classes, and struggles with focus on academic material); being twitchy/hypervigilant (she reduces her anxiety by always plotting physical exits and practicing kata every morning/evening); having poor sleep/trouble falling asleep/nightmares (...)(7/7) + suffering anxiety/self-doubt, questioning whether these versions of her loved ones really accept her or if they just feel obligated to pretend/secretly internally reject her or worse, see her as a daily reminder of the girl they lost and feeling pain that they're hiding from her. She also tries to pretend nothing is wrong when they ask how she's doing out of worry, b/c she doesn't want to "burden" anybody. Plausible - yes/no/maybe? (Also - sorry for the length of this, wow)
I actually really likelong asks. They tend to mean I have all the detail I need to give a proper,helpful answer. (They are a little intimidating but so satisfying once answered).Sorry it took so long to get this answered.
You’ve got a reallyinteresting scenario here and I think generally speaking it’s really plausible.
I always link to Shalev’sSourcebook when solitary comes up because it’s a brilliant free resource.
All of the thingsyou’ve hit on are possible symptoms of prolonged (ie over a week) solitaryconfinement. And they’re symptoms that can persist for a very long time afterrelease.
She should also showthese symptoms while she’s insolitary. You could write it asthough she had these symptoms but didn’t consciously notice most of them whileshe was acting as a guard. If she was spending most of her time alone or withanimals she might not necessarily have processed her dissociation, anxiety orhypervigilance as unusual.
People aren’t alwaysaware of the symptoms they have. Sometimes it takes interaction with others torealise that what’s happening isn’t ‘normal’. She may also have seen her symptoms as normal for her situation and expected them to stop instantly if she ever got out.
If the only human-likeinteraction she has is with a mythological creature (that from the sound ofthings doesn’t think or act like a human) well then she could potentially go ayear without realising these are symptoms. She’d feel them and she’d feel‘bad’, but she might not have the words to express them or think of them assomething that’s caused by her circumstances.
The interaction she haswith her ‘captor’ sounds as though it’s mostly positive and never violent. Thatwould help her hugely.
The main negative factor is her going throughthis thinking that she’ll be stuck there forever. It sounds as though she madepeace with that and accepted her fate. So suddenly being jerked out of thatsituation would be a helluva shock. And that would impact her symptoms.
Overall I think you’vegot a very solid scenario here, but there are two things I’d suggest adding toit.
The first is physicalsymptoms. Solitary does have a set of physical symptoms some of which may becaused by prison conditions but some are harder to pin down. The eye sightproblems Shalev lists may be causedby the conditions in the average solitary cell, which isn’t similar to her situation. But the headaches, joint aches and insomniaare harder to pin down. They could be applicable to her situation and thephysical symptoms of solitary confinement/isolation are rarely discussed infiction.
The second thing ismemory problems. Difficulty concentrating and learning are common in torturevictims and can persist for years after torture. I’d expect a noticeable dropin her grades if she returned to school. I’d also expect her to find learningand remembering information from her classes more difficult, and for that to befrustrating and perhaps stressful.
It’s the kind of thingthat feeds into a victim’s negative feelings about themselves, whether they‘belong’ in their community and their self worth. And since you seem to befocusing on that through her other mental health problems I think includingmemory problems could add to your story.
It sounds a lot likeyou’re exploring the social isolation victims can feel, or at least as thoughthe story could be heading there. I think that’s great because it’s notsomething we generally see in fiction. At least not from theinside.
Instead social isolation tends to be something victims are blamed for:either because their symptoms are deemed socially unacceptable (and thereforetheir fault) or because they’re not ‘trying hard enough’ to interact. The wayyou’ve used her symptoms to show whyshe feels out of place and how that can lead to further isolation is reallyvery good. And probably true to a lot of people’s experiences.
Some further points youmight want to consider-
How well known is thissort of magic in your setting? If your character doesn’t have to constantlyexplain what happened to her and if this sort of situation happens often enoughthat she’s believed that will helpher recovery a lot. But it will probably also affect how the people around herinteract with her. Do kids at school pester her, point her out in thecorridors, or want her to recount every detail of her ordeal?
Would the kind ofsacrifice you character made be regarded as exceptional, or would it be anexpected/proper show of familial devotion?
Would the people aroundher make any kind of allowances for her behaviour/experience? For example ifshe finds school noisy and chaotic would the other children talk more quietlyif she asked? If they do makeallowances would she be grateful or resent them as a reminder that she’s‘different’ and doesn’t fit in.
Arethere any other people who might have experienced something similar? Could shecommunicate with them? Mental illness is usually pretty scary but it’s a LOTscarier if you can’t recognise what’s happening to you. Being able tocommunicate with someone who could tell her that the anxiety, the hypervigilance,the (possible) memory problems are normalwould help her immensely. It would put these symptoms into context and enableher to recognise them as symptomsrather than something fundamentally ‘broken’ about herself.
Beingable to exchange coping strategies can also be hugely beneficial.
This is also going tobe hugely stressful for her parents who are probably trying very hard tosupport her, but may not know exactly what to do. My own family has generallybeen pretty shit about mental health so I have rather more examples of thingsthat don’t help than things that do.
One ‘normal’ thing thatstands out which could potentially have a huge negative effect is how theyrespond to her falling grades and the way she’s struggling at school.Approaching it as though she’s not working hard or trying could be hugelydamaging and feed into her doubts and anxiety.
I hope that helps.Generally I think it sounds like you’re doing really well. :)
Disclaimer
#tw torture#isolation#solitary confinement#psychological effects of torture#memory#physical symptoms of solitary#mental health#recovery#vorpalgirl
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